#And this time of year is ideal bc it's cold out now

[cxpperhead]

Copperhead doesn't hate many people but Lyle Bolton? Yeah, he hates the man's guts, especially when during his malicious campaign against the in-mates of Arkham decided to stick Copperhead next to Mr. Freeze's cell with no heating allowed. Had Copperhead not possessed the ability to go into a state of mini-hibernation, being stuck next to Victor's cell might have been lethal for him.

[cheekblush]

took myself on a little shopping trip yesterday in the city where i used to study in hopes of lifting my spirits but by the end of the day i felt so disheartened. wandering the same streets 10 years later and not much has changed. i’m still the same lonely unlovable girl.

[rescnatd]

Only the veteran survivors of the Battle Beneath the Crescent are aware of how much Geshu Lin's death affected Jiyan. Even fewer actually the truest extent of this and why.

[bingoboingobongo]

task force 141 + christmas wishlists

Characters: Simon "Ghost" Riley, John "Soap" MacTavish, Kyle "Gaz" Garrick, John Price, Alejandro Vargas, Rodolfo "Rudy" Parra

Warnings: none

A/N: ewww i have finals tmmrw

rodolfo "rudy" parra:

alright so i mentioned this in my stocking stuffers headcanon but we're gonna go in more depth here

rudy's christmas wishlist is really just legos

but like big, expensive lego sets

like i said then, he always compiles a big list of sets he wants each year

this year he's obsessed with the technic/vehicle sets

he got the vespa set for his birthday so that one was crossed off the list

and now he's looking to collect all the ferrari sets

last year he nabbed the ferrari 488 gte "af course #1"

and this year he wants the ferrari daytona sp3

he really likes the technic sets because their like a harder version of the normal lego sets

plus they're a lot more durable which is important to him

he has all his lego sets lined up on shelves around his apartment

and he already has a shelf of lego vehicles

which currently includes the ferrari 488, the vespa, and the lamborghini sián fkp 37 (he bought that for himself after he got a pay raise)

and ofc once he gets all his luxury cars/racecars collected, he plans on moving onto the classic cars collection

john "soap" mactavish:

alright so idk why this headcanon brings me so much joy but it does

but soap really really really wants a dirt bike for christmas

he rode one during a mission around summer time

and ever since then he won't stop raving about how cool it was

if we're being honest he wasn't that good at it

but honestly that just motivated him even more because now he wants one so he can get better at riding it

he wants to be able to do all those crazy flips and tricks they do

and he spends soooo much time researching bikes and watching videos of the tricks

he also doesn't even know when he would get the chance to use it

or where he would practice

since his house is not exactly near prime dirt biking terrain

but he insists he'll figure something out

his dream is definitely the yz250

he just thinks it looks so cool and sleek

but it's like ~$7000 so he doesn't have his hopes up

would definitely implode if he got it tho

john price:

alright so for christmas price really wants a weighted heated blanket

i mean can you blame him?

it gets pretty cold up in his cabin and he just wants to be able to be all warm and cozy

he honestly didn't even realize it was a thing until gaz told him about it

and now he won't stop talking about it

like he keeps hinting about how he wants it

saying things like "god it's cold in here, a nice heated blanket would be great huh?" or "my blanket is getting so thin, one of those weighted blankets would be insane huh?"

what can i say he really wants one

but he also doesn't wanna spend like $100 on one

which is why he's being so coy about it

besides a weighted heated blanket price wants cigars

i mean he always wants cigars but he wants them as a christmas gift this time

he wants really fancy ones that are really high quality

honestly his ideal holiday evening is him on the couch, with warm socks, a tea, a cigar, and his weighted heated blanket and a nice movie on the tv

simon "ghost" riley:

this year (and every year really) simon wants books for christmas

he's a fan of classic literature so he really just wants paperbacks of all the classics

paperback because it's easier to bring on missions

like i said in one of my past headcanons, i think simon was definitely an english literature major in college

so he definitely has a lot of books already

but let's be real you can never have too many books

the books on his wishlist this year include the metamorphosis by franz kafka, journey to the center of the earth by jules verne, and the picture of dorian gray by oscar wilde

okay we're gonna go off on a tangent here

but simon secretly wants to open up a bookstore when he retires

except, and this is gonna get kinda sad here, he knows it's ultimately just a pipe dream bc the chances of him retiring are really slim

yk since he's more likely to be killed in action...

but he still likes the idea of it in case he does make it out of the military alive

kyle "gaz" garrick:

alright so for christmas gaz wants new headphones and a speaker

gaz just lives his life with a soundtrack in the background what can i say

he loves listening to music whenever he can

whether he's working or training or in the shower

i like to think that he used to actually have a really nice set of earbuds

and he usually keeps them in one of the pockets of his uniform

but when he fell out of that helicopter he lost his earbuds

and he was absolutely devastated too because they were so nice

but this time around he wants headphones so that he can really take advantage of the noise cancelling feature

probably not the smartest option considering he's in the military but yk what sometimes gaz just needs a break from the outside and honestly who doesn't?

he also has a really nice speaker but then soap broke it

gaz had it next to him on the couch while he was watching tv or smthing

and then soap sorta hopped over the back of the couch to sit next to him

and then sat straight on the speaker

and since the couch at the base sucks and is therefore pretty hard

plus the fact that soap is probably like over two hundred pounds of muscle

the speaker really had no chance

so yeah gaz really just wants his music back for christmas

and off topic but he's into a lot of oldish hip hop/rap rn

like the notorious b.i.g., ice cube, 2pac, dr. dre

yk sorta like the classics

(im ngl idk if those are classics music genres confuse me)

alejandro vargas:

this year alejandro wants a ps5

maybe this is coming sorta out of left field but i feel like alejandro is lowkey a gamer

which ik doesn't make sense since we've established he's into self care and gamers never shower

jkjk no hate to any gamers im sure most of y'all have tolerable self hygiene

but yeah alejandro is actually super into video games

he has a lot of consoles but he didn't get the ps5 when it first came out so now he wants it

im gonna go off on a few alejandro video game tangents here so get ready

first off i think he and rudy played "a way out" together with no prior knowledge of the game

and so at the ending they were absolutely devastated

they also play overcooked a lot

and they let the other task force members play too

it's always interesting because alejandro takes it really seriously

and so he gets soooo stressed about it it's kinda amusing

also he's super good at super smash bros

and surprisingly he's not really a fan of first person shooter games (ironic i know)

it's just that he does that so much in real life he doesn't want to do it in games too

[ask-the-totally-real-peppino]

(I have been trying to write this post for a while, but it keeps coming out like a sob story, and it is really not that deep jkfdgkj

So I am just going to say it, bc you guys know I love to ramble for ages, and I need some opinions

1 year of this blog is tomorrow (or today depending on how long I take to write this kjldfg), and I really do appreciate you all being here - if you have been here since the beginning, or just followed recently - if you've sent an ask, liked, reblogged, shared with a friend, theorised, made fanart, or followed me to my art blog and watched me make (and continue to make) a billion clones, anything; thank you

I made this blog on a whim, only like a week after getting into Pizza Tower, and I had no idea it would turn into what it is now

Of course, in the beginning there were a lot of actual posts, like with backgrounds and multiple characters, and I'd post several times a day if I could - and while I was having fun, it was not ideal - I'd frequently post at 7am after spending all night working on a post then I'd pass out, I'd forgo eating or showering just to draw, and I had wrecked my wrist several times, and continue to push pass the pain just to post

It wasn't just hyperfixation, it was obsession - much easier to realise that in retrospect

I was also medicated at the time, I had been on antidepressants for 3 years, so around April (I think) I ran out of meds and was unable to get more due too third party issues/unable to get in contact with my doctor/etc (and unbeknownst to me at the time, the last two packs I had were expired) - so I am sure you can imagine the sort of affect suddenly going cold turkey on the med that make you not wanna die has on a person - I was not doing great to put it lightly

But I still wanted to continue - so many people had praised me on the frequency of posts, and how excited they were and all this validation - I couldn't let people down! (Also I was, and still am, a disabled shut-in loser with no friends, posting is like the only social interaction I had/have kdfgkgfd)

But I think I did - I intimidated myself out of drawing main posts with how much work they were, started the intermission even though I said I shouldn't, had no script or direction and that I was not 100% invested in to try to motivate myself back into main posts, and it was just easier to draw silly ooc posts than do the thing I really wanted to do instead

Of course, this is not any of you guys' fault - I have always had this issue of starting something, it getting way bigger than I can manage, crashing and then just unable to get going again - I have so many unfinished comics, half-done projects and abandoned askblogs it's not even funny - but it's also like, not the end of the world, if I don't finish things I start for fun - sure, I'll feel guilty as hell for a while, but life moves on

So that being said, I would still very much like to continue the story here - I have been working on some stuff in the background (I even updated Pep's reference in the last few days, with a ton of new stuff), but I still don't think it's gonna be soon - I am doing somewhat better than I was, and I actually have an appointment for with my doctor finally (I will probably have to do some reassessments since they can't just put me back on the meds, after not having them for almost a year, and then I'd have to probably get reaccustomed to side effects etc), so despite it all I am still here

I am not sure if I want to continue the intermission with Bean and Fiend at this time - I know a few folks enjoyed it (mostly bc Fiend kjsdfkj) - but as mentioned previously it was unplanned, unscripted, and I was quickly not feeling it, as I am sure some of you guys were too - the intention was for Fiend to give you guys another hint to the main story, but getting to that point was not fun - I might do a poll on this in a separate post

I also mentioned a while back that I would be cutting down the Big Post into smaller posts, and posting as and when parts were done - but once again, do not expect these soon - (although there is a very late Valentines post coming hopefully soon)

And I think that should hopefully be it for now - I know this is a huge post, and probably still a bit sob story-ish, but oh well - I also know that the hype for Pizza Tower had unfortunately died down significantly, but I'm still working on PT stuff on my art blog @smalltimidbean if you wanna see more silly things (and maybe some lore for here hehe)

It is also the first now, so happy birthday Pep

Okay, thank you, and see you later)

[toxycodone]

i understand its all joaks and its lighthearted out of love for this character but it is a little sad to see things like laios being a minimum wage worker and having no friends being described as him being a loser when theyre extremely common autistic experiences 💔 because to be honest i think youre really cool and a great writer and i would like to interact more but it makes me go, is that what you would think of me? my life situation’s not too different from that. anyways i hope you have a nice day <3

no not at all I genuinely like being mean to Laios so take everything I say about him with the world's biggest effing grain of salt because I am just. mean to him in particular lol. i like to kick him when he's down. (evil and mean but to blonde men in particular)

but like. i am not cool at all. like...........ill put it under the cut but yeah.

real shit under the cut bc this ask is making me think! im gonna be real w u nonnie

tl:dr if u dont wanna see whats under the cut:

this ask kinda makes me think bc. i think im really mean to laios too bc he reminds me of myself beforehand (zero self confidence and suicidal idealization) sigh and I really hate being reminded of that. so. again. im really biased when it comes to him specifically and that doesn't apply to you or any of my followers.

and for what its worth i am sorry for making you feel that way.

but also. i gotta say I can 100% relate to him and you. this time last year I was working at Starbucks ( i could only tolerate 4 hour shifts bc i would get overstimulated and my coworkers lowkey hated me.) and had like. 1 friend from high school and the years before that I spent turbo online being constantly pushed out of friend groups bc i could NEVER get anything right socially. I swear the first 23 years of my life I never lived. i went thru hs and college as a fucking. like. creature I felt like i couldnt connect w anyone because I was too tormented by adhd + autism and i was INSANELY depressed and coping w lack of control by having an eating disorder and being doped the fuck up on stimulants. (MY PCP gave me 56 mg of concerta and 5mg booster of adderall i was fucking tweaking on the daily </3)

but like. i started going to therapy and a psychiatrist who made me quit cold turkey for my own good and we started treating my depression and debilitating anxiety (i was convinced a stranger was living in my house in secret but also that everyone in public who saw me was revolted by me and genuinely wanted me to kill myself jkdhsfskdjh i told you i was tweaking)

anyways. i was a druggie with no goal in life and living in my own head and now like. i can look at myself in the mirror and not think "hey. this fat ugly piece of shit should genuinely die" and now people in real life LIKE me. I have friends. multiple friend groups, actually. WITH NOT JUST ND PEOPLE. LIKE, A LOT OF THEM ARE NEUROTYPICAL. And i am very open about being autistic with them and i dont have to mask.

and they still like me! and invite me places! and genuinely want to hang out with me! and they think im smart and get uncomfortable when I say im stupid or too autistic to like. be able to be in public.

it still feels like a dream and in my mind im like "they actually are gonna drop you and make fun of you for thinking they were ever your friends" or like "theyre just doing this bc of the stupid buddy system shit or they think you're a pet this is highschool all over again"

but even tho im haunted by this. its....I can say with confidence its not true.

anyways. i know people say this shit all the time but I will say you are very capable of love and not a loser or anything like that. the thing you're missing out on is the right people. i didnt believe this for most of my life and tried to get myself killed because of it but im glad I didn't because it is genuinely true.

i have spent the last <1 year of my life genuinely being alive. and i wouldn't trade it for anything. idk if thats a sign for anyone yeah. take it

[basically-a-god]

✨ ROBIN LORE ✨

@itsprobablydean (you asked for this essay so now you have to read it lol)

Alright let’s start, when she’s 13 in South Carolina. Her mom is an abusive alcoholic, (great start, I know) so she decides to run away from home. She somehow manages to make it all the way to New York in a few months, picking up new skills along the way. (Cause she’s just cool like that) One day she’s sitting in an alley eating, when she hears footsteps. The person she thought she was about to have to murder actually turns out to be a boy named Lucas, who is a bit older than her and another homeless kid. They quickly become inseparable, and unfortunately, hopelessly in love. But soon Robin discovers she’s a demigod, and she needs to go to CHB for her own safety. She attempts to take Lucas with her, but of course she’s not allowed to since he is a human. When she tries to not go to camp, Lucas refuses, saying she has to go and be safe at the camp. They share a heartbreaking kiss as they confess their love to each other, (Bc I’m dramatic like that) and robin hasn’t seen him since. Jk! After two years of being all sad and lonely she gets the god of requited love Anteros to help her find Lucas. She succeeds and they find out he’s a legacy of Aphrodite. Now they’re both trying to see if Legacies are allowed in camp

Some extra little facts-

-she learned how to steal and gamble like an absolute pro, and she still hadn’t let go of the habit

-she once stole a pocket knife from a stranger, and now she carries it around with her 24/7, even if it’s not the ideal weapon

-she has a simple ring that she always wears from Lucas, and (surprise!) he stole it from someone

-since she hates her mom, she always avoids saying her last name, and if she does, she’ll just lie and use Lucas’ last name

-she’s been cold and distant to most people since she’s been at camp, but once she found Lucas she almost instantly became a lot kinder

-she holds a grudge against Chiron since he won’t let her leave camp (to look for Lucas)

-she was homeless for a year, she knew Lucas for 9 months out of that year. She’s been at camp for 2 years, and is now 15

-She hasn’t been to school since she was 13, so she doesn’t know a lot like hard math or science

-she actually really liked her stepdad, but she still ran away

-she has a black leather notebook where she writes about her time with Lucas so she never forgets

-she absolutely HATES apologizing lol

-since she had been on the run for a year and then was stuck in camp, she’s not really up to date on most popular songs, memes, celebs and stuff like that

-She speaks a bit of Italian

[il3x]

Tagged by @vikugnavikugna!

coke or pepsi? beverage BITE miette?? beverage STING her tongue like the insect??? jail!!! jail for beverage for One Thousand Years!!!

disney or dreamworks? dreamworks did HTTYD, right? them.

coffee or tea? tea

books or movies? books hehe

windows or mac? never used mac so windows it is

dc or marvel? ok, exposing myself here, worm was like my 2nd superhero media ever. i haven't read either 🙈 i have seen a few marvel movies but i'm not sure whether that should count for or against them

x-box or playstation? mine crafdt on my laptop

dragon age or mass effect? mass effect bc incuriouscat on youtube makes sick ass fan PMVs

night owl or early riser? night owl

cards or chess? chess, you can narrate stories about the pieces and thoroughly annoy your opponent (sibling) even as you lose >:3

chocolate or vanilla? chocolate all the way!!

vans or converse? wgat

Lavellan, Trevelyan, Cadash, or Adaar? I can't tell if these are fantasy names or antidepressants

fluff or angst? uhhhhdfcgvhbjnk gonna have to say fluff

beach or forest? beach

dogs or cats? cats 100%! (or secret third option: fish...)

clear skies or rain? clear. god. please... 🙏🙏

cooking or eating out? cooking :P

spicy food or mild food? Mild by any sane standards, but spicy according to my family and/or BBC Food haha

halloween/samhain or solstice/yule/christmas? chris mas :))

would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot? uuuhhhh .. hh. hard one here. gonna have to also go cold

if you could have a superpower, what would it be? SUPERSPEED!! Or time powers. My irl friend has convinced me of their usefulness.

animation or live action? animation

paragon or renegade? renegade, it's the name of my serial killer dark forest!hollyleaf fanfic (only half kidding...)

baths or showers? shower

team cap or team ironman? hm. remember when I said I watched a few marvel movies? yeah none of them were this one :(

fantasy or sci-fi? fantasy baybey!!! but I adore both

do you have three or four favourite quotes, if so what are they? oh god okay. hm... "Where did we learn it, this talent for insatiability?" from The Handmaid's Tale still Lives In My Head from high school english. If song lyrics count, then, "You don't know me / don't you question my love" from Berlin, Without Return. "Sometimes a hypocrite is just a man in the process of changing" (I don't recall the exact wording) from... Oathbringer? is my fav cliche cosmere pick. Oh! And I forget the episode or even who said it, but at some point during the s3 All Might/AFO fight in MHA, one of the side characters stuck on guard duty said "You're confusing difficulty with importance", and that changed my life.

youtube or netflix? youtube :) it has fun little AMVs

[REDACTED] [Clearance Level 9]

when do you feel accomplished? when I bake something! making concrete stuff is really fulfilling, especially if I'm baking for other people.

star wars or star trek? spaceballs (jk, star wars, but I haven't seen star trek so sw wins by default)

paperback books or hardcover books? paperback

to live in a world without literature or without music? [sad character song assigner noises]... without music.

who was the last person to make you laugh? that would be @ty-bayonet-betteridge with several lines in their riley fic hehe

city or countryside? city! much as I complain about missing nature :') ideally a city that's near the sea

favorite chips? anything plain sea salt and properly crunchy 🤌

pants or dresses? pants, though dresses are fun for fancy occasions!

libraries or museums? is it a natural history museum? pleamse?? if so museum! otherwise library all the way.

character driven stories or plot driven stories? I don't really have a preference ngl

bookmarks or folding pages? i was one of those heretical kids who just plonked their books face down open 🙈😭 and now I mostly read online so... idk? Probably bookmarks.

Dream job? honestly would love to be on the management council for a small nature conservancy. second choice would be ecological research, but data-based, not fieldwork (animals scare me >.<)

What gives you comfort? thinking about The Characters...

what are some of your favorite song lyrics? literally ANY pun or double meaning lyric by idkhow!! gonna go with "lose yourself inside the city / lose your mind inside a week".

favorite ice cream flavor ever? chocolate my beloved...

first fandom? warrior cats......

deep ocean or deep space? (personally, i gotta pick ocean, because theres fish in there 👍😊)

Your desert island band?

@thesternest @seroquelfan @chaoticrushu, but no pressure to answer, and anyone is welcome to join! add your own question at the end if you answer :]

[prophetic-hijinks]

Elena's Madrigal Family dynamics

Alma

Alma was not fond of Elena being a lounge singer and while trying, would accidentally slip insults about it. Asking when she was giving it up etc. Also the divorce thing, before she understood the context, but still divorce is like very rare and a bishop has to agree. Yeah that dude sucks, God says yeeteth him.

Eventually, she realizes that she and Elena have a lot more in common when it comes to traumatic experiences and she finds it kind of comforting having a member of the family who understands loss, civil war, hunger and fear of societal destabilizing conditions like her.

So she came around.

Mirabel

She is close to Mirabel, but Mira had complicated emotions about wanting her uncle to be happy. But also worried a new family would take a black sheep ally away. But they worked through it and Mirabel comes to her for advice sometimes. @cheetee wrote a fic about this that was so wonderful, it's hijinks canon now

Antonio.

She adores Antonio, and she plays silly games with him.

Camilo

instant buds and kind of bring out the loving teasing behavior when near each other (Bruno: you're not allowed to gang up on me!")

Also big performer personalities so Camilo learns from her, and she and him help with Bruno's plays.

Agustin.

Get along well, he knows what it's like to not be on Alma's favored side.

Felix.

He is the only of the member of the family she will outright sarcastic jab with. Basically it's an ongoing cold war of short jokes.

Felix: oh Elena, bring an umbrella. Pepa is raining today and I know you and Antonio would be the last to know.

Elena: aye Felix! Short jokes? I'd ask how you could sink so low, but turns out that is your standing height.

Dolores.

To be honest. Sweet girl, thinks she is lovely. But constantly worried she is gonna say something sexy to Bruno and she is gonna hear it (which she suspects she has, bc one time she whispered something and Dolores squeaked, but determinedly wouldn't not look away from her knitting a room over). Also... Apparently she was listening to her uterus under Alma's request... So Elena let that one go

Luisa.

Elena wants to help. Elena, soft little city girl physically, more of a hindrance than a help. Elena insists on helping. Luisa insists she shouldn't. Repeat conversation ad infinitum.

Isabela.

They bonded on the concept of showing an idealized version of themselves to the world and it making them miserable. Elena offers insight into bisexual or lesbian identities based on her friendship with Lucia.

Pepa

these two are sassy little gremlins together. Once again. Lovingly tease Bruno.

Julieta.

Gentle mothering sister even though she is only 12 years younger, and has experienced far more life experiences. Julieta, gonna Julieta. Elena helps her with mass cooking though, bc though she is not as good as cook as Julieta, she has experience making food for a large group from being at the orphanage

[idolsgf]

🌟OC Tag Game🌟

thank you to @greypetrel for tagging me to do this!! had to give it some thought but we got there in the end (albeit not entirely coherant). it's mostly dragon age, but I wanted to sprinkle in some other oc's in there too :3

tags will be under the cut at the bottom

Favourite OC: I talk about Mori'na the most and that's because she's probably my top girl right now. She is always invading my thoughts, consumes them you might say. She was one I made when I played Dragon Age after a long time of not playing, and she's constantly evolving. I just think she's neat.

Newest OC: Cyra's probably the newest newest, and I haven't completely figured her out yet. Have to get one good pt with her and then continue to build off from there. She's definitely different from a lot of the other OC's I make and I think that's exciting. Get some variety, ya know?

Oldest OC: Uhhhh I don't think you want to know my oldest OC. I'm not about to share my preteen writing or characters haha I guess the oldest OC I have that isn't dragon age related is from an original work that I want to go back to one day. His name was Adam (I'm probably going to change it) and I was really excited to tell not just his story but the overall story. He was from a Nano year! I was very close to making it to 50k but petered out near the end because I couldn't figure out certain chapters for the life of me. One of these days I'll pick him back up. He was very sweet, loved photography, and the classic trope of having a dead parent :)

If you want Dragon Age, my very first character was an Aeducan! I can't remember her name for the life of me (I made her when I was like 13 so forgive my foggy memory) but I remember her mabari's name was Dum (pronounced doom bc I thought it sounded cute). She romanced Alistair (what's new?) and was pretty nice just because I hated playing mean characters back then. I still do sometimes haha I'm thinking of bringing her back but she's going to make very different choices than my original pt. I want her to be the warden in my Cyra worldstate.

Meanest OC: Could swing either way depending on the sort of mean you want to refer to. Ashari is mean in a very blunt way, doesn't have much room for small talk and will insult you to your face. But she's also fiercly protective of the ones she loves and is where you'll see the most venom if you plan on hurting them. She's very much like this video around her friends and family depending, and some people can translate it to being mean.

If you want calculative, cut you right at the core mean, Cyra. She may come off as kind with the whole Andraste visage, but she knows right where to strike. She will find your deepest weakness and exploit it like no other. She's a very ruthless judge, but thinks she's doing it in the name of justice. I think I have a pin on her pinterest board that says "Divine Violence" and pretty much sums up how she rules. She knows how to play the game. (she's not all mean though, don't worry 😅)

Softest OC: For the most part I want to say Mori'na, she's a soft person in some regards, has soft qualities, but I also don't want people to think that's all she is. She's a complex elf that has a lot going on, but she's definitely a flower crown wearer.

Most Aloof/Standoffish OC: As referenced above, Ashari's deifnitely one standoffish OC but I don't think the most. Blunt, doesn't like small talk, but she's also rather emotional (my very angry daughter) so she's not entirely aloof.

Bohean is pretty aloof, he's definitely got a cold demeanor and doesn't let his emotions show (only Mori'na can read him really). He's very duty driven and finds that letting emotions get in the way isn't ideal (conceal don't feel.....I don't like that movie). Being a mage and the First definitely plays into it.

Dumbest (affectionate) OC: They are all dumb, in their own ways. Everyone makes dumb choices. It's only natural. I guess in kind of original original character, I had an OC named Hattie Dunn (she was from a tlou rp LOL but I devved her outside of it for a bit as well). Everytime I think about her I'm just like, girl. Make better choices. What are you doing? Stop brooding, go talk to Car. Stop it *spritz w/ water*

Dragon Age wise they're all dumb, there's no helping it. They all make some dumb decisions along the way, they gotta for me to make an interesting story lol I guess Faye can be slotted in the dumb category just for pining reasons. Not the best at reading people or the room sometimes. They don't care in the beginning since they're only trying to make coin for the most part. Feelings are where the real dumb comes out. Will wax poetic about a person in their necromicon and write songs about them in their free time, but actually telling the person? Flirting maybe, but a flustered mess when it gets serious.

Smartest OC: Mori'na is very smart, practicaly and being able to read people (for the most part, emotions can get in the way sometimes, don't question it). Knows every known plant under the sun and can relay facts about it in five seconds. Can immedietly know if one is poisonus or not. Has a good memory, never forgets. Which is never good for someone she holds a grudge against you fucked up wolfie. I think she's able to read people better just because she has a healthy mother relationship lol

OC I'd Probably Be Friends With: I can see myself being friends with the main Dragon Age three. Cyra's too much of a wine mom. Mori'na I would enjoy listening to about plants and we could have a nice chat, but also not have to talk at all. Could sit in silence and do our own things but enjoy one another's company. Faye is very extroverted, and I'd probably just let them do their own thing while I observe. Great movie buddy tbh, lot of joking during movie nights. Ashari I would hype up, talk about murdering her capitalist pig boss and I'd just say "yes girl, you tear that man apart". I think she could be good to joke around with, because she does have a bit of a sarcastic side but she says it with the exact same blunt articulation that you can never tell if she's being serious or not.

tagging: @gvnseylike @fenharel-apologist94 @transprincecaspian @demandthedoodles @ell-vellan and anyone else who would like to do this <3

[safyresky]

17. Can they fall asleep anywhere? Or do they need an optimum condition to sleep in? (For any or as many!)

Thank you!!!! Any or as many. HMMM. I am going to Legate the SHIT out of this >:D

Jacqueline can sleep anywhere so long as it's A) freezing cold and B) there are a plethora of blankets for her to get COZY and WARM and SNUGGLY. She is going to burrito and she is going to be SO cozy cold

Dite doesn't usually sleep! But when she does as long as the mattress is firm and she ISN'T sinking into it she's good. Bonus if cuddly burrito blanket gf is there!

Xander doesn't sleep. But when he does. Even though he doesn't! He can sleep ANYWHERE. SANDMAN SMARTS.

Blossom is a big ol' ?????? Does she even sleep, or is she simply like the energizer bunny, and always going going going? who's to say!

Myles can (and has!) slept anywhere. Probz has a favourite pillow that he will take with him if he knows he's not sleeping in his own bed! I also think he has a teddy bear that he will always sleep with/keep near by bc he feels bad for it, and when he watched Toy Story this only got WORSE.

It had the same effect on Olivia lol, both of them have a LOT of stuffies and such and they do NOT want them to be sad! Olivia can sleep anywhere as well, so long as it's soft. Probably also sleeps better with running water somewhere, given her work as a healer has her at the Springs a lot :)

Day and Night's preferred sleep condition is time void. If they are in the void they are sleeping fine. If they are OUTSIDE of the void, they are Not Sleeping, no sirree!

Spring likes squishy surfaces for sure! And HAS to be surrounded by flowers. She also gives me "sleeps with a diffuser going" vibes, lol. She LOVES sleeping on rainy nights. She cracks the windows open, bundles up, and listens to the rain 🥰🥰🥰 v big on ambient noise around her--canNOT sleep in absolute silence at ALL

Bonus: The OTHER seasons!

Summer can sleep anywhere! Likes open windows. Favourite sleeping nights are THUNDER STORMS. Only uses a sheet. It gets kicked off by morning.

Autumn also likes a chillier sleep! Also enjoys rainy nights! Cuddles with animals when she sleeps (this is optional, but 6/7 nights in the week, there's probably an animal nearby that is hanging out with her that Will Cuddle)

Winter is like Jacqueline! She likes to be very cold so she can bundle and ideally cuddle up alongside her summer sprite of a partner without melting (which is a valid concern some times, given she can't even keep a freeze dry OR snow blow in her hair when Blaise is nearby!)

BONUS bonus: The rest of the Frosts!

Blaise overheats so fucking fast frfr. If he is not able to hold his walking AC unit of a partner throughout the night he will wake up way too hot and that's just uncomfortable! Frost Manor has the windows open for most of the year, lol

Fino prefers sleeping on an object made for sleeping but can make do without. Likes having the blankets but will kick them off in his sleep. Has on occasion woken up on the floor perplexed. Sleeps 100x better when his twin is nearby. Doesn't mind overheating but prefers not to.

Fiera can sleep anywhere and WILL sleep anywhere! Sleeps 100x better when her Twin is nearby. As an adult, she crashes on people's couches ALL THE TIME! Kicks blankets right off of her and onto the floor. Sometimes wakes up hugging pillows. NASTY bedhead most mornings. Drools. Likes to overheat.

(Fins and Fi will on occasion get into a silent "open the window a crack" battle. It is very passive aggressive and VERY sneaky! Often don't notice when the other closes/opens the window. These lil battles can rage on for days at a time)

Now Jack ISN'T an OC but I desperately need to inflict this image on other people so:

PAMPERS himself

silk sheets. humidifier. sleep mask. the BEST pyjamas. ice cold drink on his bedside table at ALL TIMES.

probably has some fancy snack for the morning laid out somewhere lmao.

weighted blanket, HIGH thread count, you THINK of a fancy sleep thing Jack 100% has it and most deffs uses it.

Probably does like an overnight facemask or something on occasion TOO, lol

[yuki-kazami]

While you all are here because I'm being spicy and mad about gay animals, I guess I should also post this bc I forgor:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/45889033

More spicy gay animals (Saria/Silence one-take prompt fic)

((Is this how you link fics on tumblr?? I don't use this shit I just like the art help am I supposed to post the whole text or something))

(((I guess you do post the text I don't know what's happening help im just smol)))

Closure:

Silence took a deep breath, steadying herself.

She could do this.

She needed to do this.

No more ambiguity, no more questions, no more secondhand info from Parvis of all people, that amoral old goat.

The fire with which she had defended her convictions towards Saria had long since burned low. It had been years since the incident at Rhine Labs. She’d married Joyce, Ifrit had grown into a capable young woman. Still, old wounds left scars, and she couldn’t just move on without closure.

Gathering up her resolve, she slid the door open to the observation deck. Harsh sunlight caused her to squint, but as her vision cleared, there she was. Saria stood alone, her back to the doorway, staring out into the vast expanses of rock. Her stance was firm. To most, it would be captivating, inspiring. It looked as if she was prepared to carry the world on her shoulders. And yet, Silence couldn’t stop herself from seeing it as lonely.

She shook her head, stepping forward.

“Saria.”

“Silence.”

Saria turned around as the door closed with a quiet whoosh. For some time, the pair simply stood there, eyes locked. Each passing moment brought more uncertainty into Silence’s gut. Even if the Saria of now was different to the one back then, even if she had grown and learned since her time as director, could she really handle being told that Parvis had been right? That Ifrit had been little more than an experiment Saria had a fondness for?

Or worse still, what if she had been-

She couldn’t bring herself to finish that thought, digging her nails into her palms to bring her focus back to reality.

“Silence, are you alright? We can speak another time if you need-“

“NO! No, I’m sorry, I just…” She grit her teeth, knowing that even with Joyce’s prodding, she wouldn’t be able to muster this courage up again. The cold shine of Parvis’s glasses in that darkened observation room haunted her mind, the moment her reality had cracked, that her heart had been torn to pieces.

“I need to know. I need you to be honest with me, Saria. Why did you leave Rhine Labs?”

It wasn’t what she wanted to ask. It wasn’t what she wanted to know. But she… she just couldn’t bring herself to say more, to risk what little trust she had left in the person she used to rely on shattering.

Saria’s face hardened as her eyes grew distant. “I grew disgusted with Control. Human experimentation is far from the ideals that we established Rhine Labs under. She lost sight of why what we were doing mattered.”

“Oh, is that so!?” A sudden, violent explosion that caught even Saria off-guard. “Really now, Saria? That’s what you have to say? You had a supposed ideological conflict? What about Ifrit? If you care so much about human experimentation, why did you leave her to suffer in their hands?” New fuel brought roaring flames back into her heart.

Saria’s voice remained comparatively calm, if a bit strained. “Silence. I trusted you with her. The paths I’ve walked were not those safe for a child.”

“Oh, her safety! That’s right, you had to make sure that your specimen wasn’t damaged! Silly me, I forgot that you needed Project Diabolus to complete successfully! After all, it must have been a costly cover-up making sure that the old experiment site didn’t hit Columbian news! Parvis showed me that you even made sure to sign off on the flamethrower they developed for the experiment! Very diligent, Director.” Silence was heaving at this point, half a decade of emotion echoing in the still air around the landship. Tears threatened at the corner of her eyes as she aired her grievances.

Saria’s voice rose in kind, confused and frustrated at the sudden vitriol. “Olivia, what kind of person do you think I am!? What the hell did Parvis tell you that made you believe him over me!? That very day, I went to Control and demanded that we go public with the news of Haydn Labs, only to be entirely shut down as being out of line!”

“DON’T YOU CALL ME THAT! Was that the same meeting where you agreed that the experiment should proceed as long as Ifrit’s life wasn’t in danger, and where you agreed to kill her if she had another episode!? And don’t play dumb with me, I saw you just about to until I showed up that night!” Tears flowed freely down Silence’s cheeks, her fists flailing in the air as she stormed up towards Saria, puffing up her feathers to be as intimidating a foe as her small stature could be.

Surprising even to Silence, it was Saria who ran out of gas first. She took a step back, face in her hands, shaking slightly. “Olivia.” Somehow, said with such a grave tone, Silence couldn’t bring herself to chastise Saria again for using her name. “Every night. Every night, for years, I’ve seen that blank gaze, the demon we forced inside that poor girl. I tried everything I could. Words, gestures, violence when I was forced to. All I wanted was for her to wake up, to see us again.”

Silence stepped back, her limbs suddenly leaden against her side. “Saria…” Things were beginning to click together, her worst fears come to life.

“The fire shields failed. The entire block of the landship was about to go up in flames. Potentially thousands of innocent people. And still, for one of the only times in my life, I had a moment of hesitation before I leapt into battle. Every time I hit her, I felt a part of myself die. She didn’t know what she was doing. She was an innocent kid forced to live out the whims of scientists playing God.”

The last of Silence’s coals burned out, leaving nothing but ash in the face of the truth. She wobbled, barely remaining standing as Saria continued on.

“How could I stop, Olivia? I couldn’t win. I had to keep fighting, even though it hurt. And at the end, when she woke up just before… just before I could make my final mistake? She gave me the candy she had saved the other portion of. Lying on the ground, bruised and battered nearly beyond recognition from my own Arts, she grinned because she was so happy I came to visit her. There is a part of me that still wonders why I didn’t kill both Parvis and Control that very night.”

Silence fell to her knees in front of Saria, shaking from the depth of her revelation. “Why… Why didn’t you… say anything…? All these years…”

Saria knelt down next to her, a concerned look on her face. “Because I knew you were right. If I had stepped in sooner, if I had fought Control harder, if I had taken over on the “treatment” to monitor it, none of this would have happened. Her blood has always been on my hands, and I nearly took her life. I don’t deserve her, or you, Olivia.”

A crisp smack echoed out across the plateau, new fire in Silence’s eyes.

“Shut up, you rock brained idiot.”

Silence grabbed the back of Saria’s horns and pulled her into an aggressive kiss.

[noramoons]

GET TO KNOW ME TAG GAME!

tysm for tagging me and thinking of me @end-hyphen and @petrichor-han ! i am late to the game as always 🤡 bc i did let this marinate in my drafts for a week for absolutely no reason but !! this was fun hehe i loved reading yalls too <33

this is also super long so answers under the cut!

BIRTHDAY

october 17

FAVORITE COLOR

dark blues and pastels

DO YOU HAVE PETS?

one cat! he is staring up at me from across the room as i write this lmao

HOW TALL ARE YOU?

5’5 (165 cm)!

HOW MANY PAIRS OF SHOES DO YOU OWN?

i think between 10-12 but there’s only 5 pairs i wear regularly. literally wear the exact same loafers to work every single day 👍

FAVORITE SONG?

literally changes every day lmao but rn it’s probably between good life by wayv, back down by p1harmony, or avalanche by walk the moon

FAVORITE MOVIE?

everything everywhere all at once OR kiki’s delivery service OR scream (1996) LMAO i love watching all different kinds of movies but horror has rlly been my fave over the past year or so <3

WHO WOULD BE YOUR IDEAL PARTNER?

lee seokmin OR someone who makes me laugh, is patient, kind, caring, and a good listener. someone who i don’t feel like i have to put on a performance for and who i can be myself around. and who understands all my little interests! like tv and movies and kpop hehe

DO YOU WANT CHILDREN?

absolutely not! LMAO the cat is enough <3

HAVE YOU GOTTEN IN TROUBLE WITH THE LAW?

i’ll copy genie’s answer and just say i was a very stupid teenager who thankfully never actually went to the police station BUT i try to be a smarter adult now bc of it HAHA

WHAT COLOR SOCKS ARE YOU WEARING?

blue and white striped!

FAVORITE TYPE OF MUSIC?

i rlly do listen to just about anything but since this IS a kpop blog i’ll say kpop. honorable mentions include 70s dad rock, alt/indie rock, anime osts, and classical (study playlist my beloved)

HOW MANY PILLOWS DO YOU SLEEP WITH?

two! one for my head and one beside me lmao

WHAT POSITION DO YOU SLEEP IN?

on my side usually. or curled up in a ball since my room is always freezing cold ahaha

WHAT DON’T YOU LIKE WHEN YOU’RE SLEEPING?

when i can see light coming under my door from another room in the hallway…drives me absolutely bonkers i need complete darkness to be able to sleep or i cannot 💀

WHAT DO YOU HAVE FOR BREAKFAST?

if i have time to eat i usually just make cereal! sometimes my work brings in bagels and cream cheese too which is always a treat <3

HAVE YOU EVER TRIED ARCHERY?

yes! HAHA my parents tried literally any and every sport/activity they could get me in as a kid bc surely i had to be good at ONE, right? (answer: no 💀) i was decent but definitely not a sharpshooter by any means lmao. i do still have my bow and arrows and the target we used to practice with (and this is also why the reader in frw&d shoots w a bow n arrow — since it’s the only ‘weapon’ i have any real experience with for writing 🤭)

FAVORITE FRUIT?

strawberries, kiwi, and mango!

ARE YOU A GOOD LIAR?

absolutely not lmao i have tried for many years but apparently i just look incredibly obvious when i try to lie 😐

WHAT’S YOUR PERSONALITY TYPE?

enfj!

INNIE OR OUTIE?

literally what does this mean. my bellybutton??? do i like going outside????

LEFT OR RIGHT HANDED?

right-handed!

FAVORITE FOOD?

poppyseed chicken! OOO or i had lemon bars the other day and they were absolutely 🔥

FAVORITE FOREIGN FOOD?

omg there’s a thai restaurant literally 2 seconds away from my house that is SO damn good. i’d eat there every day if i could LMAO

AM I CLEAN OR MESSY?

i think i’m very selectively clean bahaha like my bathroom has to be nice and organized or i’ll lose my mind but my room is always in some state of disaster

MOST USED PHRASE?

do i have one?? idek actually 💀

HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE FOR YOU TO GET READY?

i don’t put in a ton of effort for work these days LMAO so like 10 minutes probably?? if i’m going out for dinner or something else w other ppl tho between 20-30 minutes

DO YOU TALK TO YOURSELF?

100% HAHA this is the best way to get fic ideas and also sometimes i think i’m funny y’know 😻

DO YOU SING TO YOURSELF?

every time i get in my car it’s a concert babey !!

ARE YOU A GOOD SINGER?

absolutely not HAHA but that’s why it’s fun to just jam in the car or in my room <3

BIGGEST FEAR?

drowning, caves, letting ppl down

ARE YOU A GOSSIP?

🍵🍵🍵 bring me the tea PLS i think a healthy dose of gossip is good for you actually

DO YOU LIKE LONG OR SHORT HAIR?

on me i think i prefer short (even though it’s growing out again rn). long hair for literally everyone else though HAHA

FAVORITE SCHOOL SUBJECT?

any english or writing courses and history!!

EXTROVERT OR INTROVERT?

extrovert!

WHAT MAKES YOU NERVOUS?

having to drive long distances and making phonecalls 😧

WHO WAS YOUR FIRST REAL CRUSH?

one of those mfs from newsies (1992) most likely LMAO or nick from walk the moon 🫶

HOW MANY PIERCINGS?

just two on my earlobes for now! not going to do anything else until i figure out if i can get more with my job HAHA

HOW MANY TATTOOS?

none </3 i wanna get the homunculus tattoo from fmab SO BAD

HOW FAST CAN YOU RUN?

if i’m running i’m either on the treadmill or being chased so. probably not that fast

WHAT COLOR IS YOUR HAIR?

brown. rlly want to get skunk hair with blonde underneath but once again……need to see if my job will allow it lmfao

WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?

blue!

WHAT MAKES YOU ANGRY?

many things but today it’s the governor of my state and ppl who are rude to service workers

DO YOU LIKE YOUR NAME?

yes! i picked out beck a long time ago bc i liked the androgyny of it and i still rlly like it <33

DO YOU WANT A BOY OR A GIRL AS A CHILD?

no kids babey!! my cat is a boy though and he’s enough

WHAT ARE YOUR STRENGTHS?

i’m resourceful, creative, and i don’t give up on things that are important to me.

WHAT ARE YOUR WEAKNESSES?

why is this a job interview i can’t shut up once i start talking and have a hard time being able to tell when i need to stop. also mega perfectionist and tend to overanalyze every other conversation i have lmao

WHAT’S THE COLOR OF YOUR BEDSPREAD?

white with purple flowers!

WHAT’S THE COLOR OF YOUR ROOM?

it’s this purplish grey (which doesn’t sound super appealing but i promise it’s a very calming color LOL i painted it over the summer) and i have brown wood floors.

tagging: @seung-scrittore @decembermoonskz @sulfurcosmos @lotus-dly @lixesque @txtkids and anyone who would like to or hasn’t already done this! as always, no pressure on the tags — these are just for fun and nothing serious 🤍

[thatmidnightkid]

i remember every winter until i was 10 had 10-20cm snow and months worth of slush. 2013 had extreme colds to the point where our heating bill spiked until late march when it didn’t the years before or after. 2015, 16, 17 - fluff. maybe.

my mum tells me about the fact that they had to clean the windshield regularly on long drives because of how frequently bugs got squashed on it. my parents haven’t had to do that in twenty years. i never did. same reason i didn’t believe them when they said holding your hand out the car when going reasonably fast (50kmh) is (on top of dangerous) also disgusting bc you catch bugs on them. my hands were clean.

my parents lament the absence of gentle summer at the end of september. it just tips into uncomfortable, rainy autumn directly from the now standard 30 degree heat of july. my father used to wake me up in summer and i was excited to learn if it was warm enough to wear short sleeves and no jacket. there was no oppressive heat.

last year the tits in the garden started nesting on our balcony in february. normally they get started march or later. the blossoms on so many trees froze because they too mistook february mildness for true spring, how couldn’t they?

we used to have so many butterflies fluttering about accompanying us when we had breakfast outside on the weekend. i have not seen that many butterflies in one place in a decade.

but.

we have rare types of bees in the garden who we inadvertently created an ideal living environment for by stacking dry wood in a sunny spot. we have frogs that croak happily and sun themselves in a kind of abandoned pond project of my dad’s. we have a small gentle fountain that all the birds congregate to for drinking and bathing, especially when warm. from small robins to fat pigeons taking advantage we’ve had it all. last year we had a very… intense pair of jays in the garden. my dad regularly watches the hedgehogs wander through our garden and make a feast out of the slugs. when i’m quiet and lucky and look up at the right time i see red squirrels going up and down some trees in our garden. once i saw a woodpecker peck very insistently at the most prominent tree right in front of our porch. we have crickets that provide beautiful evening ambience. we’ve had our feeding spots and nesting spots taken by birds more years than not. once directly next to our front door so we made sure not to spook them more than we had to. once next to the back door so my dad went to the front to smoke until they’d left the nest safely. when i drive down the main road out of my hometown i see wild deer regularly. once a toad hopped in front of my mums car in the dark on an empty side street and out she went and attempted catching it in her hand to bring it somewhere safe. the toad in question was not a fan of my mothers gentle but scary hands and hopped away on its own.

[txxfiles]

i’m just a girl who loves video games

hello!!!!

i feel like Magnolia summed up what we are doing pretty well, god bless, but fitting in with the genre of Magnolia’s post i might just ramble about video games. i love video games. i’m watching a video game play through as i type this actually (jacksepticeye i love u) and two games in particular have taken over my attention at the moment, well 3 but we’ll get there.

i was going to talk about my week, but i don’t wanna have my first post be negative u know? not that it’s been the worst week of all time but it’s definitely not the best. too many uncertainties in my life atm. also it’s too cold.

anyway, video games!! i recently moved our old tv and my games consoles into my bedroom, never had a tv in my room before which is hilarious considering my age. but, i wanted to be able to play more this year and not be in anyone’s way so i’ve been very comfortably screaming at my tv from my bed as i try not to die.

the first game i played this year which i have been waiting for for months is

God of War: Ragnarok

i played the first one on recommendation from a boy (ew) and fucking LOVED it. i blasted through it so fast and wanted to get ragnarok immediately but unfortunately, i am poor. i got it for christmas however and couldn’t start it as soon as i wanted bc i had to work but once i did boy let me TELL YOU IT’S SOOOOOO GOOOOOD. i am not good at video games really, i struggle to remember combos and to use my shield and to dodge and basically just button smash until the enemy or i die. works better than u would expect tbh even if literally everyone judges me for it. i am good with a bow and arrow though and my aim has gotten so much better since i’ve been playing fortnite (shut up.) so obviously i’m playing give me story. of course i’m playing give me story have i ever played a video game on anything other than easy mode. i did find out that i was wearing a bad armour set just last night tho, so hopefully i find it a little easier to fight shit now, guess we’ll see. but fuck me is it good. obviously no spoilers but shits heating up atm and i’m really genuinely scared about where the story is going to go. i’m worried kratos is going to die but he’s immortal! he’ll be fine! but i don’t trustn anyone or the game or anything anyone says to me ever bc WHY would they make such a point of fate and prophecy if it’s not going to happen???? mega stress but 10/10 what a beautiful game! my screenshots on my playstation is mostly just the scenery at this point bc wowowowowow.

so you would think the other game i’m playing is chill and nice and something i can relax whilst playing right?

WRONG!

Disco Elysium

stress.

so much stress.

i’m laughing but the stress that is coarsing through my veins is as thick as lava and i’m struggling to breathe as i try desperately to pick between 3 options with awful dialogue that will most definitely end up with me in the shit or a slave to capitalism in game as well as in real life which really isn’t ideal.

i got a achievement for being the ‘most apologetic cop’ the other day, i think that perfectly sums up how i’m playing. i just want to help but that seems to be LITERALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO DO. i really love choice based games but this one is on a level of intense and confusing that i’ve never seen. it’s a masterpiece. every line of dialogue is beautiful and hilarious and insane and the world building is incredible and lieutenant kim kitsuragi is the love of my life. i have no idea what’s truly going on with harry, like i literally cannot work it out and i also don’t know who committed the murder, i thought i did and then i fucked up so SO badly that i had to quit the game and go calm down bc i was so mad at myself. like, literally fuming. i could never be a police officer.

i finished the game in between me first writing this and finally posting and again, i won’t say much bc spoilers but i cried and haven’t stopped thinking about it since. i’ve added about 40 video essays to watch and will definitely be playing it again and going down a different path (basically trying to be less of a wet blanket.)

everyone should play this game, it’s genuinely one of the most incredible games i’ve ever played. the hyperfixation is brewing and if u see me deep in the harry/kim tag on ao3 in about a week no u didn’t!

i’ve also been playing

Star Wars Battlefront 2

for some reason.

we know the reason. same reason i started playing fortnite. no more explanation needed.

i’m very bad at it. mostly bc idk what’s going on and the man i am playing it with is not very good at explaining things in a way that makes sense to me so i just kinda run around and try not to die. but then you need to die to be able to get better characters? such a weird mechanic. it’s very pretty though and i’m on a star wars hype atm so i am enjoying myself but i like fortnite more. i actually kinda love fortnite, don’t tell anyone.

my biggest complaint is that i don’t just get to use a cool character straight away like i don’t want to be a stormtrooper i want to be kylo ren what do u mean i don’t have enough points??? wild.

also an honorary shout out to undertake/deltarune, i’ve been rewatching dan and phil and jacksepticeye play them bc i’m hoping for new deltarune this year but no pressure toby pls take ur time i’ll wait forever if i have to.

i’m not sure what new games are out this year otherwise, i’ve got to finish assasins creed odyssey after god of war and i keep being bugged to play red dead redemption 2 which i probably will after AC. i think the new concernedape game comes out this year, which i will definitely be playing bc stardew valley is one of my fave games ever. it’ll be nice to play something gentle for once, i’m glad i got into more ‘serious’ games over the last year or so but i do miss my cosy games, i feel like i’ve abandoned them.

anyway, i think i’ve talked enough. one honorary shout out to kieran culkin for all his award wins! that’s my boy!

big love to my girlies, this has been so fun i’m excited for next weeks!

mwah mwah,

eucalyptus

[zombies-aliens]

So how was my day today. Well I went to the gym at 5am but I got there at 6am and had friends waiting :/ so I felt bad for that. But they get along well so there's that, I know I probably didn't bother them since they had each other but I still don't wanna do that tomorrow. Oh yeah I'm going tomorrow btw. I should prob be sleeping rn but I have to write about my day first. Well I went to work later that same day 🙃 it wasn't so great, idk how the other two were awake and I took a nap...

You know what dude my day has been so weird at work. I really don't have it in me to talk atm. Nothing really bad happened, it was a pretty average day, but something was weird and maybe it was because I was so sleepy. But it wasn't just that my attitude and thoughts were bad :/ I had just bad thoughts today that my friends don't really like me, they're just pretending, shit like that. And you know, that really effects me and I think of scenarios of how id respond if something were to go wrong in the friendship. Which I hope doesn't. It was creating a tension in myself for no reason. But part of me feels like it's true. I hate being disliked by people I want to be friends with, but I'm scared to say that I want to be friends because get unsure about if they're really my friends or if I'm something else to them. And I'm the stupid one. That's not ideal for me obviously. My day wasn't so bad for what happened in the physical world but in my own private inner world. There was trouble in paradise today. I hope tomorrow is better. I hope they both like me. But I could go on about how they both known each other probably way longer than I have and I'm the new friend of the group so I'm kinda feeling like the outcast in a way ESPECIALLY AT THE GYM HOLY SHIT. And honestly that's what Kickstarted my bad attitude, it's bc even tho my friend is married with kids, her and the guy get along pretty damn well, even she called him baby at the end after a hug, and I didn't get a hug. So I felt kinda I guess cold. Like I get no love. I mean hey it's fine I try to remember I'm not entitled to anything. I probably said that in another post but yeah it's the same thing I try to remember that to humble myself and not act like a kid who didn't get to play and have fun but the others could. I felt like an outcast in all honesty. And she's still inclusive with me like she says hi and still said bye to me but idk man, and she even texted to see if I'm good to drive home, but I fucking hate how shit I felt seeing and hearing that. I just want that intimacy as well you know? I haven't had that in so many years. Physical intimacy, and it doesn't have to be sexual neither. It doesn't have to be with my married friend neither.. but is this the best it's gonna get for me? I'm just gonna be someone's third wheel all the time? It sorta pisses me off bc like I don't wanna see that shit it ruins my mood but they don't get why it does tho. It's cus I've been lonely for so fucking long. And that set off a reaction in me like holding a mirror to me and it's just me, or maybe a guy friend, but there's never a girl by my side I can call mine and she can call me hers. It's just. Me. I'm sad man. I'm actually getting sad now. I just want a girlfriend to feel the love everyone's feeling all the time. But not just any random girl of course. But yeah. That's been my life for a long time. It's depressing and lonely. I think what I like about having a girlfriend is that, im her favorite. She liked me so so much that we are a couple now and that's the proof. She chose me and I chose her. We both like each other and don't take it for granted. But with me and my friends it's just so cold and empty. We're friends but idk why. Just because we hang out in the same place for 8 hours? Like my friend I went to the rave with said he enjoys my company but dude... wdym? Name 2 conversations we've had that were good? You can't. Name a time where I made you laugh? You can't. Name a time where- man what's my last name man do you even know my birthday? I don't know his neither. Like why are we friends it's so shallow 😅 this shit isn't even funny to me. I'm just confused. It makes more sense with the girl, but not with him. He's a cool dude sure, but... idk. And I'm gonna see these two tomorrow. I don't get how I'm the only one that questions but I'm probably the only one experiencing this. Nah you wouldn't get it. Cause it's always just me isn't it.