#And there’s never any mention of standard or non-alcoholic versions

[severussnapemylove]

Hey. Butterbeer has alcohol in it…but 13yo can buy it…

????????

[baka-bakeneko]

Stomping Ground - River Ward x Fem! V Reader

tags: NSFW, MDNI, established relationship River Ward, Johnny Silverhand: Resident Cockblock™, non-canon background of River/Panam/Joss/Saul, pregnancy talk, br33ding kink/mention/actions, in heat mention/action, cumplay, mating press, wrap it before you tap it psa, double orgasm, doggy style, cervix mention, pillow talk, creampie

wc:

synopsis: Panam tells you something about boyfriend River you're sure you'd never noticed before.

a/n: y'all ever watch reservation dogs? i got this idea from that because the man mentioned with that line looked like riv...also, absolutely feral feminine urge to climb through my television to sex this man

There was a clear and definitive space you carved out for River in your life. It wasn't necessarily prominent at first, but you realized it slowly over time.

Not that the man didn't want to meet your "friends", moreso accomplices, and your handler; he definitely did, but knowing River's do good bleeding heart, you knew he'd try to get you out of it as soon as possible.

However, you began to notice the lines starting to blur a bit more. River started picking you up at your apartment to take you back to his place (even though you'd practically moved into the trailer with him).

Judy and Rogue were starting to mention your time spent outside of Night City, how the ever beating sun in the desert was doing wonders for your sickly complexion.

Obviously, Johnny wasn't any different. The individualist that was not on the River Hype Train.

"He's still a bootlicker, V. You're sleeping with a corrupt puppy."

His bitching and moaning was relatively drowned out, though, by someone who shared similar stomping ground with River.

Panam.

It wasn't often you hung out with her, she usually only called to ask for something, but when you two were together, she was the most herself about your relationship.

That saying that Panam was her normal cool demeanor version of gushy about you being infatuated with the ex-cop.

You'd asked her if she knew him, and she repeated the stomping ground. There was once a time, she mentioned, that her and Joss could see each other on opposite sides of the fence.

She never dwelled on it, only mentioned that little River had the longest braids. That she'd sit on a hill and admire how his sister brushed his hair back with her fingers and braided it almost all day.

Panam scoffed by the fire then, taking a swig of her tequila then offered you the bottle. She leaned over to nudge your shoulder, still staring at the bright orange flames dancing before you two.

"All I know is that Saul used to say boys of the Pomo tribe," Panam hiccuped halfway through her sentence. "can impregnate you with a single gaze."

You practically wasted the alcohol you swigged, the clear liquid dribbling from your mouth at Panam's statement. Of course, it was meant as a warning to young Panam and probably a lot of young Aldecado girls.

But it was funny and vulgar to imagine that sentiment still standing true. And that sent a shock straight to your core.

Because you hadn't seen that gaze of River's yet.

Or maybe you'd been ignoring it.

-

You woke up the next morning after driving through the desert back to River's. Climbing into bed with him the night before, Panam's stories about him weighed in your heart.

Reaching an arm out to pull River close, you realized he'd already gotten up. You sat up, tossing the bedsheet away and kneeled on the bed to stretch.

River had offered yet another one of his shirts to you, this one a Night City Police Academy heather grey. The sides were cut off, hardly holding your breasts back and revealing your bare ribs.

"Good morning beautiful," River chimed, brunting his door open by his hip with two cups of coffee in hand.

You sat down heavily, the bedsheets puffing around your ass before settling. "Good morning yourself."

You reached out for the coffee cup River offered you, taking in his standard pajama attire. With an approving hum, you brought the coffee cup to your lips and sipped.

"You read my mind," you praised, shutting your eyes to revel in the warm liquid traveling down inside.

River spared a breath from his nose, doing the same as you straightened up again. You took another quick sip then set it on the windowsill, turning to River.

And there it was.

That had to be it.

Because your chest tightened in the same way you knew something good was about to happen. And your body was certainly open to it.

"Hard pass!" Johnny screeched in, crossing his arms before your face like a no-bone referee. "Not while I'm around!"

Your loving gaze to River was directed as frustration to Johnny S. Cricket. "Shut up, I'm steering this one."

"Babies and Johnny don't freakin' mix, V!"

You grit your teeth and muttered from the corner of your mouth. "Panam didn't mean it literally. Take the backseat."

Johnny buzzed around the room in soft glitches. "Oh hell no! You think I'm gonna let you play house when we had a deal? I'm not sitting by while you piss away our chances, V, for a freakin' meter maid!"

Your sultry smile turned sickened, actively reaching up your neck to yank Johnny's relic out and deal with consequences later. "Last chance, Johnny. Otherwise, I'll reset us both."

Johnny blew a harsh raspberry at you, zipping to your side to whisper in your ear. "Fine, but don't cry to me when I don't take the reigns to change a goddamn diaper."

Then he shut up and disappeared.

And River's glare was still there. Still baring into and lighting a new type of flame under your skin. Keeping your chest tightening and your breath quickening.

It was a subtle glare, one that you were sure he'd given to the back of your head before. One eyebrow barely cocked, his molten brown eye softened a single degree. And maybe it was something about him always looking so hardened, but this look was softer by an nth.

His lips were absolutely kissable, curved into a smirk. And how could this single glare make you want him so badly?

And how long could he keep this single glare up? Because there was work to be done.

You felt yourself turning into a bitch in heat by that glare, sitting up straighter and angling your body at him. Knees inched apart minutely, but enough for River to notice.

His interest piqued with a minute tilt of his chin; he blindly reached to his side and set his coffee cup on his nightstand.

You kept his gaze, feeling every breath tearing through your burning chest. And you needed to be naked.

River's glare willed it to be. His hands found his waist and shared a staggering breath out, his cock slowly rising to attention behind his pajamas.

You reached for the hem of his shirt, your arms crossing over your head to reveal the presence of your mostly naked body. His tongue tempted out, his eyes never leaving yours though you knew he'd raked your body in admiration.

You copied his motion, licking at your lips as your breathing raced to soft pants.

River gulped, breaking contact from you first to force his bedroom door closed. He locked it, holding his hands to the plywood while he bowed his head in effort to stay level.

His massive shoulders shuddered, his back rippling in war with himself. Still, he turned around to you, hooking you onto his glare again.

And it was as if the spell was never broken. Your nipples hardened to the cool of the room, to River's silent will.

"Show me your pussy, baby," he gruffed, his voice a new bass of desire.

When you'd normally flinch, you were obedient to River's order. Your breath hitched, spreading your knees further and peeling your panties to the side.

River's eyes never left yours, but braced his knee onto the bed. He peeled down at a hip of his pajamas, freeing his leaking cock to meet you.

Another chill wracked your body, your cunt pulsing at the thought of his length stretching you. Every thought of River impregnating you made you dizzy in eager want.

He swiped at the tip of his cock, gathering his precum before reaching out to stroke your pussy. His eyes kept yours, watching as you slowly crumbled in his touch.

When he was satisfied, River flossed the front of your panties against your clit, earning a whimper from behind your lips.

He leaned in, nudging his nose against yours with a heavy breath against your lips. Your chin tilted in his direction, tempted to kiss him, but his hands tearing your panties in half halted you.

River's hands grabbed at the backs of your knees, pulling your legs over his thighs as he readied his cock before your aired sex.

Your heels planted on the bed, hips angling ready to take him. Your breathing faltered, your chest rising and falling in cascades.

River grinned deviantly before your lips, reaching to shrug his pants further. His hands resumed behind your knees, instantly folding you down on the bed.

Your knees met your breasts, leaving your ass to be caressed by his thobbing length. Your eyes cut to River's cockhead rubbing between your wet lips, prodding against your thrumming clit.

Turning to River again, his gaze was unmatched. The silent will for you to beg for him. Your bottom lip twitched, a soft moan leaving you.

He took your sound personally, feeling it fuel the burning and gnawing within him. River pulled his cock back and forward again, earning a few more noises before angling his hips to catch at your entrance.

Then he was sinking into you. And you cried out at the instant relief. His cock drove into you, molding your walls around him.

You edged up to gain more of River faster, his body folding over yours breaking a sweat.

"River," you mewled, feeling his hips lay flush to your pussy.

Your hands went for his face, your legs folding and your foot twitching at the middle of River's thick back.

He barely let you settle, raising up with his calves to start a skin-slapping, heavy pace. The noises that he rang out of you carried through the room, no doubt disturbing the peace of the house.

River gripped a bit tighter at your knees, slowing his pace to catch his breath. His balls rested against the apple of your ass, hitting right at your deepest spot.

You simpered, taking heaping breaths to steady your heat. Your pussy convulsed helplessly, unable to stabilize your heightened sensitivities.

River ignored giving you any external stimulation, only kept your eyes on his. He angled further, fucking into you steadier with slower strokes while you whimpered and pleaded softly for River to make you cum.

River huffed down at you, his breaths a melodic chant to keep him stable. Your face scrunched at the gaining fire from your pussy to your stomach before you blindly gripped at River's hip and halted him for you to throb around him.

You came hard on him, squeezing his cock heartily in your soft, hot walls. River's name was on your lips, drooling out your praise while you wetted his hips and balls.

"I-I'm not done with you yet," River panted, dropping your legs after pulling out.

He gripped your hip to roll you onto your stomach, pulled you onto your knees with your ass on display before him.

River sank his cock back into you, earning a keen mew. You spread your knees further, regaining your energy while still spasming on his cock.

You purred out a 'baby' for River's ego; he folded over you, let you run your hand along the back of his shaved head.

His cock speared harsher into you, halting his hips tighter with each pump. Even without saying anything about it, you knew what he was doing.

River's tip abused at your cervix, earning a few squeaks from you until he circled his arm around your waist and pressed at your stomach.

A new flush of arousal gained with his internal friction, pressing onto you as his other hand played at your nipples.

You arched into River, melting into his touch as his lips peppered and sucked at your neck. Your hips backed up into River, whimpering softly with each thrust until you were quaking.

Your knees slowly gave way, your body heating to give way to another orgasm. This one brought River along with you.

He gasped into your neck, held you obsessively close and hilted his cockhead directly against your cervix. You felt your pussy drown in River's essence, warming every fiber of your being.

"I want your baby," you simmered, turning to kiss River's temple, his cheek, his lips.

His cock continued to twitch, emptying everything he had into you. He growled, nipped at your ear.

"You don't know how badly I'd want you to," River whispered, taking your skin in with a soft suck.

He tenderly marked your neck, ran his lips to your shoulder as he canted his hips softly into you.

"I so badly," he thrusted into you with each syllable. "want that."

You rode every thrust into the mattress, gripping the sheets and the back of River's neck. He moaned into your neck, baring his teeth to bite as he hugged you.

Time froze in that instance, the two of you holding on as River's essence gushed around his cock and out of you.

When he was finished, River slowly pulled out, trailing kisses along your back, between your shoulders and down to your hips.

He rocked your hips in his hold, tracing his nose along your skin before resting on his back next to you.

"Come here," he crooned, his voice so soft and welcoming.

His arm braced behind his head, leaving his side open. You nuzzled into his side, glancing up as he tucked his chin down to look at you.

And that look was still plastered on his face. You couldn't help but giggle then, feeling River's hand trace along your spine.

"What's so funny?" River asked, turning his lips to kiss your forehead.

"Panam told me about you, when you were younger," you began, grabbing hold of River's hand to thread your fingers through.

River's brows raised before chuckling. "What'd she say?"

You tilted your head up to look at River. "That you used to have the longest hair that Joss would braid."

He smiled, kissed your forehead.

"I did, down the middle of my back through my teens."

You rested your cheek on his shoulder. "I wish I could have seen it."

River hummed. "What else?"

You couldn't hide your smile then. "That Saul used to warn all the Aldecado girls about you."

River's smile grew with a scoff. "You're bullshitting me."

"No, I'm serious," you giggled, sitting up to look River in the eye. "Said Pomo boys can impregnate you with a single gaze."

River reddened from his neck to his cheeks, his ears bitten crimson. Your grin was contagious, he couldn't help but match it.

You climbed onto River's lap, bracing your hands to his stomach. "And I almost didn't believe it, but you're doing it again."

River laughed harder then, holding your hips as he did so. "If I was doing it, and I'm not saying I am, what're my chances I could do it?"

That's when you blushed, turning away to your shoulder. "I'm not seeing you couldn't, you're on the right track so far."

River's hands roamed up your sides, then around to fold you against him. "I can keep trying, if you want."

You rested on your chin, staring at River as that gaze came back again. "I don't want you to ever stop."

River traced his hands in parallel lines down your back, circling your shoulders. "Good, because I want at least three."

You smiled against him, ignoring the Johnny alarm bell that you probably had limited time. You wanted to live in this little reality you two curated for a while longer.

"And we can all live on my stomping grounds," River soothed, tilting his head down to rest on yours. "With our own little slice of life."

[writing-for-marvel]

Your Hand In Mine

Ransom Drysdale x Fem!Reader

Summary: Ransom was never a physically affectionate person, at least, not until he met you.

Prompt: @suck-tember day 1 prompt ‘fingers’

Warnings: strictly 18+ only, NSFW, fingering, semi-public sex. TRIGGER WARNING: mention of Ransom’s parents being neglectful and physically abusive. Mention of drugs and alcohol - not consumed by reader. Ransom is fairly soft in this

Word count: 2.6k

A/N: so I know it’s not focussed on oral fixation as intended for @suck-tember, but the prompt inspired this idea so I ran with it. Banners by @maysdigitalarts, dividers by @silkholland

Masterlist | Ask me anything! | Library

Ransom Drysale was always someone who liked to keep to himself.

Not that he didn’t enjoy going out, being the life of the party, managing to spend a regular person's yearly wage in one night, or arguing his opinion with anyone who was willing to take the bait.

But in the sense that he enjoyed his physical space.

He was smart enough to realise it was probably rooted in his parents not showing him physical affection as a child - no hugs goodbye, no forehead kiss goodnight, not even a damn high five for a job well done in school.

The only time his parents ever touched him was if he was being dragged somewhere didn’t want to go, their hands in a vice around his arm as he wailed and cried, like the spoiled brat they incessantly told him he was. His father sometimes resorted to physical punishments to prevent his weeping, regularly enough that Ransom quickly learned not to resist their demands, to simply go along with it if he were to avoid their punishment.

And with his compliance, went their last reason to touch him. Though, Ransom was thankful for that.

As he got older, Ransom’s aversion to physical affection born solely from innocent, non-sexual intentions only grew stronger.

Wherever he went he’d see couples interlocking hands, using any excuse to hold each other, sit in each other’s lap, mindlessly fiddle with the other's fingers, placing chaste kisses to foreheads, shoulders, hands.

Why would people want that? Why would you go out of your way to spend more time in connection with someone than you had to?

Ransom was by no means averse to some physical forms of intimacy - having a woman in his bed for the night who could wet his dick provided far greater pleasure than his own hand could. His body had figured that one out for himself.

But that was all about his own sexual release. It had nothing to do with romantic feelings, affection or comfort. Nor the satisfaction of his partner in those carnal activities. It was purely about himself.

How selfish.

Well, he was a Drysdale after all.

Nobody expected anything more of him.

And then he met you.

Your compassion for others were second to none, and even though Ransom had never done anything in his pampered and overindulgent life to deserve any sympathy, you showed him incomparable kindness nonetheless.

If Ransom wanted something, he got it. Friends and strangers alike never said no to him, not with the wealth and stature his family notably held. That same status was something you didn’t place importance on - you treated everyone the same regardless of their background or what material items they could offer you.

Most were too scared to call Ransom out for his bullshit, so he continued to toy the line to see what he could get away with - it was all a game to him, knowing his family money could buy him out of any real trouble he found himself in.

However, you were different. You told him off when he crossed the line. Held him to a higher standard than he held himself. For some strange reason, which Ransom couldn’t fathom, it seemed that you wanted him to be a better version of himself than the spoiled narcissist his parents had raised.

That intrigued Ransom. Mostly because society viewed him as purely the wealthy enabler who paid for everyone’s night out, but that’s where their attachment ended. He knew he was only tolerated because he funded lavish parties, supplied the alcohol and facilitated his so-called friends' drug habits - if it weren’t for that, he’d just be the dickhead nobody liked.

You had this endearingly inspiring quality about you which always made him feel like he could do anything, including improving himself to be more than just the pampered, pompous rich boy.

And he found that he wanted to. For you.

You would later tell him it was his courage and resolve to better himself that really made you fall for him. And though Ransom rarely felt shy, he was apprehensive to inform you that you were the reason he tried in the first place. Because that would mean admitting not only were you the only person on the face of the earth who actually gave a damn about him, but also the way he felt about you was developing into a deep fondness he was unable to control.

In most contexts Ransom was usually the person in charge, directing what needed to happen and when. Yet, when it came to his relationship with you, you were the one who instigated everything.

His lack of experience in affairs born of the heart rather than pure lust, made him feel like an insecure, inexperienced teenager. Yet you were always patient with him, which only resulted in his ever growing attachment to you deepening.

With a romantic relationship came expectations of chaste physical intimacy, and that perhaps more than anything scared Ransom. He couldn’t understand the reasoning behind wanting to be close to someone in that way, and with the deficiency of experiencing any physical touch his whole life, he was concerned he may never be able to provide that for you.

He felt comfortable enough to express this worry to you, and with the unparalleled empathy you possessed, you promised him to start off nice and slow.

You were both attending a book release for his grandfather when it happened for the first time. In tedious discussions with relatives who Ransom had completely forgotten how he was connected to, you inconspicuously reached over and interlocked your pinky with his.

That’s all it was. Just his smallest finger connected with yours. And yet he found himself never wanting to let go. That one minuscule act, that seemed at least outwardly to not affect you at all, had Ransom’s entire body paralysed.

You must have sensed his rigidity beside you. When you looked up at him, all wide eyed and believing you had done something wrong, moving to pull your hand away from his, he clamped his hold on your pinky even tighter.

Ransom wasn’t quite sure why he felt that if you were to let go his whole life would crumble before him. It seemed a drastic overreaction to a simple caress of fingers. But he felt that way deep in his chest nonetheless.

You must have been able to read his intent from the expression on his face - you were always good at doing that - because instead, you smiled up at him, scrunching your nose in the adorable, involuntary way he adored, and kept your finger joined with his for the rest of the party.

Ransom tried to not let the thought of innocently touching your hand consume him, but he failed miserably. He had previously only ever experienced repulsion at chaste touches, and yet he welcomed your touch so freely, only wanting to experience more of the warm sensation.

It wasn’t until two weeks later, while having Sunday family dinner at his parents house, that you chose to perform a similar action.

His mother was on a tirade about certain members of the family whom she didn’t approve of, something she ended up doing when she had one too many glasses of wine, when your name fell from her lips followed by the words ‘gold digger’.

Ransom’s hands were immediately clenched in fists, and rage boiled so fiercely within him that he wouldn’t be surprised to see steam billowing from his ears. He opened his mouth, ready to return the attack when it happened.

Your soft hand pried his fist open, nestling yourself between his fingers. You barely looked down at where you now connected with him, instead choosing to look deep into his eyes as if to say ‘she’s not worth it’.

He could feel his heart rate immediately start to slow down. The anger which had been ferociously bubbling in his chest now felt like barely a ripple.

All because you touched him.

Not sexually. Not in the sensual, teasing ways your hands would roam his body when you wanted him to fuck you.

No, not like that at all. You were simply holding his hand with no additional motivation. You were gaining nothing from this exchange, the act was solely for Ransom’s benefit. Interlocking your fingers with his and affectionately rubbing your thumb over the back of his hand, as if it were the most normal and natural thing you could do.

And that’s when it all finally clicked in Ransom’s brain.

The reason all those lovey dovey couples that annoyed him everywhere he went couldn’t get enough of holding each other - why they’d use any excuse to be connected with their person.

Comfort. Support. Security.

The people currently in the room with him had provided the opposite of that his entire life - they had only caused him anguish and loneliness. It was all he was used to, and yet with a gesture as simple as holding hands, he knew for a fact he had found that solace with you.

Linda across the table repeated his given name a couple of times in the scorchingly frustrated way only she could manage when directing conversation at the son she regretted having. However, Ransom was too caught up in his body’s reaction to your affectionate touch to give a shit about his mother at that moment.

The table went silent as Ransom finally stood and declared “eat shit, we’re leaving.”

Heads held high, you walked side by side out of the hostile house, Ransom not letting go of your hand until he opened the passenger side door of his car. As soon as he let go, a feverish tingle rushed up his arm which he suspected only your touch could soothe.

“Thank you.” Ransom breathed out. Somehow the air in his small car wasn’t as stuffy as it was inside his parents' giant house. Ransom couldn’t remember the last time he thanked someone, if ever. Yet the words felt right in his mouth when you were the one he was thanking.

“You’re welcome, Ran.” You returned, seemingly knowing exactly what he was thanking you for without him needing to say it aloud.

As if to make him fall even harder for you right then and there, you chose that moment to yet again join your hand with his, and place a kiss to his knuckles. A warm, fuzzy feeling erupted in Ransom’s chest, one he knew for certainty he had never felt before.

It concerned him for a moment that possibly he was having heart palpitations, or an anxiety attack. But perhaps what startled him the most was that this feeling was actually a surge of love and devotion to you.

He had never loved someone before.

But when he looked into your eyes, he was sure. He could see his whole life in front of him. He never thought finding someone who would put up with him for longer than a night would be on the cards for him, and yet here you were, sticking by him even when you knew the dark and ugly parts of him.

It was both exhilarating and terrifying that for the first time in his life, there was someone more important to him than himself. Someone he wanted to truly be better for.

“Let me thank you properly.”

Without thinking, or even really knowing how he managed it in his small car, he shifted you from the passenger seat onto his lap, pulling you into a bruising kiss.

Ransom felt an inherent need to pleasure you with his fingers, the same part of your body which you had used to provide comfort to him earlier. Pushing your skirt up over your thighs, his hand instinctively reached for the damp patch already forming on your panties.

“Please Ran, please. I need you.” God you sounded so desperate, and that only turned him on even more.

Ransom wasn’t about to deny what you wanted when you asked so politely. Pushing your panties aside, he coated the tips of his fingers in your slick before slipping his middle finger into you. He could tell at once it wasn’t enough by the way you wiggled your hips eagerly to increase friction.

“Such a needy girl aren’t you?” He asked before generously adding an extra finger, your grateful groan in appreciation making his dick twitch. “Look at you, my gorgeous little slut creaming on my fingers right outside my parent’s house where they could see us. You like that, don’t you?”

All you could do was nod when Ransom used his thumb to draw small circles over your clit while simultaneously scissoring his fingers inside you, knocking the breath out of your lungs.

Unlike with his previous sexual partners where all Ransom was concerned about was his own orgasm, being knuckle deep inside your pussy was about your pleasure.

Did the sight of you whimpering above him, feeling your soft walls fluttering around his fingers make him painfully hard? Absolutely.

But this wasn’t for him. This was all for you.

He continued to relentlessly thrust his fingers inside you, instinctively curling them to brush over the spongy spot that had your thighs quivering, relishing the moans and whines slipping from your lips right beside his ear.

“I love all those pretty little sounds you make.” Knowing he was responsible for every breathy gasp, every whimper trickling from your lips only fueled him to pump his fingers faster, to hear more of them.

As he pushed you closer and closer to the edge, Ransom could feel your grip on his shoulders tighten and your pussy squeezing his fingers gloriously.

“Shit, right there! Oh God, Ran, I’m gonna cum.” Your head fell to rest your forehead against Ransom’s shoulder, fingers tugging at his hair and though your eyes fluttered shut in pure ecstasy, he couldn’t take his eyes off how beautiful you looked.

“That’s my good girl. Let go baby, I got you.”

Your entire body shuddered as the wave of your orgasm overcame you, crying out an incoherent combination of curse words and his name as your gushing climax coated his hand and the front of his pants. Though, Ransom didn’t relent the pace of his pumping fingers until he was satisfied that you had fully come down the other side of your high.

The dazed smile you shot him once you managed to sit upright in his lap again mesmerised him. In that moment all he wanted to do was give you mind blowing orgasm after orgasm so he could continue to experience the heavenly sight of your writhing body and that bewitching, satisfied smile.

Ransom removed his fingers from you and brought them up to his mouth to taste the slick of your release, which was as sweet as he knew your soul to be. Lord, he could just drown in the taste of you - something he planned on doing once the location allowed for it.

“Let’s go back to your place, and I’ll return the favour.” You mumbled against his lips in a sloppy kiss before manoeuvring yourself back into the passenger's side seat.

The entire drive home Ransom covered your hand with his on the gear stick, his large fingers slotting between yours perfectly.

In his small car beside you, driving ever further away from his old family house, Ransom had never felt more at home. He intrinsically knew that he’d never find a safer place than his hand enclosed in yours.

And because of that, someday, he’d make sure you knew just how much he cherished you by giving you a ring to wear proudly on your finger.

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[birdhaslostit]

🎁🎄❄️What the Lupin Gang would do for Christmas!❄️🎄🎁

Helloooooooo Lupin fans! You may or may not remember me as that one chick who made that Halloween headcanon post a few months back, as well as the Jigen’s bangs post. I’m back with a Christmas post!!!

Please note: Personally, I really only celebrate Christmas in a non-Jesus-y way. (Which is how I’m also writing this post, because let’s be honest, do you really think Lupin is going to confession and shit? Absolutely not.) It’s purely out of habit because I was raised Catholic, but I practice witchcraft now. My family doesn’t know that though. Because of this, I considered also making posts for other winter holidays, so I could include Lupin fans that don’t celebrate Christmas. But I didn’t want to accidentally mess it up, or write something inaccurate about a holiday that I don’t celebrate. It felt disingenuous to make a Hanukkah post because I’m not Jewish and it doesn’t seem like my place, and I didn’t want to do a Yule one either, because no two people celebrate it the same way. So, I strongly encourage others to add their respective winter festivities to this post if they want to! We’re all about inclusivity here.

Without further ado:

🎁LUPIN:

I don’t feel like it needs saying, but this man goes bonkers for Christmas.

He flip-flops his choice of red or green jacket by the year. But it always comes with an equally garish Christmas-themed tie, just to make explicitly clear that this is The Christmas Jacket for the year, as opposed to the standard red/green jacket.

The hideout(s) are always decorated to the GILLS inside. It’s an odd mix of older classy decorations he’s inherited from his family, and absolutely horrendously tacky ones he’s bought himself. 

Picture real branch garlands, wrapped tastefully around gilded candelabras that have been passed down through several generations. And then one of those singing, dancing stuffed animals from Walmart that plays “Jingle Bell Rock” when you squeeze its paw, right next to it.

Christmas-themed heists? You know it, baby. But he won’t steal anything on Christmas Eve or Christmas. It just isn’t in the spirit of the season, in his opinion. But he’ll leave a little something-something with his calling cards during the rest of December. A candy cane, a sprig of mistletoe, a bough of holly, etc.

Lupin despises eggnog. He loves any other Christmas drink, just not eggnog. He’s too grossed out by the idea of drinking eggs with alcohol- some things just shouldn’t be mixed.

Will not allow anyone to mention the truth about Santa Claus in his presence. Yeah, he knows, but that’s not the point. It just feels like bad luck to say it out loud. The harder Jigen tries to debate with him that Santa isn’t real, the harder he digs in his heels that “of course he is you absolute Scrooge, how dare you! If you don’t believe, you don’t receive.”

Favorite Christmas Songs: Anything peppy! 

Wonderful Christmastime by Paul McCartney

Step Into Christmas by Elton John

Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree by Brenda Lee

We Need a Little Christmas by Percy Faith and his Orchestra

A Holly Jolly Christmas by Burl Ives

All I Want For Christmas Is You by Mariah Carey

Santa Claus’ Party by Les Baxter

Favorite Christmas Drinks: Literally anything except eggnog.

Favorite Christmas Foods: Anything obscenely sugary. Especially gingerbread men and other decorated pastries.

Favorite Christmas Activities: Loves to ice skate and make gingerbread houses! But his houses usually look fairly pathetic, no matter how hard he tries.

Favorite Christmas Movie(s): 

The Grinch (Jim Carrey version)

Home Alone

Scrooged

Christmas Gifts: The king of gag gifts, but he also gives surprisingly thoughtful presents too. He’s the kind of guy that would get a person something they mentioned once offhandedly that they really liked, and he’d go back and get it for them.

🎅JIGEN:

Lupin always wants to decorate the hideout(s) the second Halloween ends, but it never happens. With Jigen being the only American in the gang, he always puts a stop to it in order to preserve the quickly-disappearing border between Thanksgiving and Christmas.

What can I say, dude loves his Thanksgiving excuse to eat like shit and do nothing for a day. Even if it is a fucked-up holiday, historically speaking.

But once the Thanksgiving meal is over, he gives Lupin the okay to go crazy. He’s pretty stoked about Christmas too, but too full of turkey to contribute, so he just watches Lupin hang up Christmas lights everywhere while he lays on the couch and digests.

Jigen likes Christmas a lot, but like, in a normal person kind of way. Nowhere near Lupin’s insane level. He’s surprisingly open about his enthusiasm too. The average person would think he doesn’t really care about Christmas much (or anything else really), but to the gang, Christmastime is the most openly excited they’ve ever seen him.

One year’s Christmas-themed heist involved Jigen dressing up as a mall Santa as a part of the plan. The gang powdered his beard, gave him a pillow for his stomach, and sent him on his way. Everything went surprisingly smoothly, and he actually did pretty well with the kids. At first they were a little intimidated, and Jigen was kind of nervous- but he gave them all candy canes and they changed their minds pretty quickly.

Jigen enjoyed it a lot, actually... to the point that he may have potentially started volunteering to be the local mall Santa. Every year during December, he leaves for a day or two on “business.” Nobody in the gang can prove it though, and trust me, they’ve tried.

Favorite Christmas Songs: The classics and the chill ones, with a few rock ones thrown in for a little kick.

Mele Kalikimaka by Bing Crosby

Sleigh Bells by Gene Autry

(There’s No Place Like) Home For The Holidays by Perry Como

Jingle Bells by Frank Sinatra

Caroling, Caroling by Nat King Cole

Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow by Dean Martin

Silver Bells by Dean Martin

Happy Holiday by Bing Crosby

Run Rudolph Run by Chuck Berry

Merry Christmas Baby by Bruce Springsteen (Sang this once after too much eggnog and will never live it down)

God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen by the Barenaked Ladies (He’s not into all the Jesus-y stuff, but it’s pretty catchy.)

Favorite Christmas Drinks: Jigen is ALL. ABOUT. THAT. NOG. He’ll make his cup a little stronger than everyone else’s.

Favorite Christmas Foods: He really likes candy canes, especially the mini ones. He’ll keep a few in his pocket with his cigs, and switch between them depending on his mood. Out of habit, it’ll usually dangle out of his mouth like a cigarette would.

Favorite Christmas Activities: Watching Christmas movies and laughing at Lupin’s shitty gingerbread houses.

Favorite Christmas Movies: 

Anything that’s on at the moment, really. He likes to lounge by the TV, and he’s not picky. 

He has a soft spot for A Charlie Brown Christmas though.

A Christmas Story, solely because of the BB gun.

Scrooged, because Bill Murray’s hilarious.

Christmas Gifts: Something practical and useful that the person never realized they needed until they opened the box.

☃️GOEMON:

Goemon wasn’t originally a huge fan of Christmas. Shocking, I know.

He now enjoys some aspects of it, and tolerates others. He likes the idea of giving heartfelt gifts and spending time with loved ones as a tradition, but dislikes the cheesy commercial aspect of Christmas.

He already enjoys the snow and walking through the forest, so the gang usually commissions him to pick a tree for them and cut it down with Zantetsuken. (If they’re somewhere where that’s an option.)

Unbeknownst to the rest of the gang, he will always replant the tree he cut down, and he will wrap something cozy around the bottom of the sapling to keep it safe. Yes, this was directly inspired by A Charlie Brown Christmas. No, he will not admit to this.

Favorite Christmas Songs: The instrumentals, and a few he’d rather die than admit to liking.

The Nutcracker March from The Nutcracker

Waltz of the Flowers from The Nutcracker

Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy from The Nutcracker

Christmas Time Is Here (Instrumental) by the Vince Guaraldi Trio

Greensleeves by the Vince Guaraldi Trio

Last Christmas by Wham! (He likes the storyline and the romantic aspect of it.)

Do They Know It’s Christmas? by Band Aid (He likes that it was for a good cause, even if it has its flaws.)

Happy Xmas (War Is Over) by John Lennon and Yoko Ono (Again, flawed, but he enjoys the intended message of peace. Also, represents Japan on the side with Yoko Ono.)

White Winter Hymnal by Fleet Foxes

Favorite Christmas Drinks: Surprisingly fond of hot cocoa. Heavy on the whipped cream and marshmallows. 

Favorite Christmas Foods: Doesn’t really like eating gingerbread men, but enjoys decorating them. They’re always pristine, like something you’d get in a bakery.

Favorite Christmas Activities: See above. Also enjoys going out in the snow, and making ice sculptures with Zantetsuken.

Favorite Christmas Movies: Refuses to admit he likes any of these.

Any of the classic Rankin Bass claymation specials.

Any other animated ones for kids. Has a soft spot for A Charlie Brown Christmas and The Polar Express.

A few of those cheesy Hallmark ones.

Christmas Gifts: Something small and sentimental he saw while walking by a store that reminded him of the person he’s giving it to. Nothing extravagant, but thoughtful nonetheless.

⛸FUJIKO:

Fujiko decorates the tree. Period. Lupin cannot be trusted to do this on his own. Goemon picks the tree, Lupin and Jigen put it in the stand, and from there, it’s all Fujiko. The ornaments, lights, and tree skirt are all perfectly color/theme coordinated, and arranged like a pristine store display. 

She also has a few ornaments that she bought for each specific member of the gang. Lupin’s is a monkey (he was not pleased, but he’s whipped for her, so he let her keep it). Jigen’s is a carved wooden pistol. Goemon’s is porcelain, with hand-painted sakura blossoms on it. She bought one for Zenigata too as a joke one year- a tiny bowl of ramen noodles.

Her ornament? The star on top of the tree, because she’s the star of the show, baby. It’s actually a snowflake, made of the finest crystal she could steal.

Favorite Christmas Songs: Pop music and Motown’s finest.

Underneath The Tree by Kelly Clarkson

All I Want For Christmas Is You by Mariah Carey

Santa Tell Me by Ariana Grande

This Christmas by Donny Hathaway

What Christmas Means To Me by Stevie Wonder

Sleigh Ride by The Ronettes 

Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree by Brenda Lee

Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) by Darlene Love

A Marshmallow World by Darlene Love

I Like A Sleighride (Jingle Bells) by Peggy Lee

Favorite Christmas Drinks: Hot chocolate and mulled wine.

Favorite Christmas Foods: Loves baking and eating gingerbread men. She lets Goemon decorate them with her. Hers have lots of candy and sprinkles on them, while his are just icing.

Favorite Christmas Activities: Along with baking, ice skating! She’s the best at it out of the whole group. None of the guys are particularly good at it, but she makes them go with her at least once regardless.

Favorite Christmas Movies:

Hallmark ones, solely to make fun of them.

Babes In Toyland, but only the 1986 one, because it has Keanu Reeves in it, and “I don’t care if I’m your girlfriend, Lupin. In this house, we support Keanu Reeves.”

Christmas Gifts: Something expensive/extravagant that will make the person think of her every time they use it.

🎄ZENIGATA:

Zenigata is the second biggest Christmas enthusiast, just behind Lupin.

He doesn’t get to settle down and decorate anything really, since he’s always running after the gang, but he does lots of other little things to celebrate instead. Like getting hot chocolate instead of coffee, tuning the squad car radio to the Christmas station, getting an air freshener that smells like gingerbread, and wearing a festive scarf and gloves with his trench coat to keep out the cold.

In years past, Zenigata still had to work on Christmas Eve/Christmas, even if Lupin wasn’t out stealing anything. Lupin found out and thought that was a little harsh of ICPO, so he came up with a plan. 

Each year he sends a calling card to the station with the conditions that only Zenigata can come to investigate. Zenigata does some research, shows up to the location on Christmas Eve, and every year, nothing’s there except for a neatly wrapped present from Lupin. 

Zenigata keeps the present as “evidence,” goes back to the station, and they give him Christmas off to go investigate on his own, in case Lupin tries anything else. Lupin never does, but the station doesn’t know that. Bada bing, bada boom, Lupin just got Zenigata a vacation.

Zenigata never catches on, bless his heart.

Favorite Christmas Songs: Ones he can sing/hum along to in the squad car.

The Man With All The Toys by The Beach Boys

Celebrate Me Home by Kenny Loggins

Feliz Navidad by José Feliciano (Does Zenigata understand Spanish? Absolutely not. Does he get the point and think it’s festive? Darn right.)

A Holly Jolly Christmas by Burl Ives

Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer by Dean Martin

Winter Wonderland by the Eurythmics

Silver Bells by Dean Martin

Happy Holiday/The Holiday Season by Andy Williams

Santa Claus Is Comin’ To Town by Gene Autry

December by Earth, Wind, and Fire (Let him have this okay, it’s a good song and he gets made fun of for liking it by the rest of ICPO)

Skating by the Vince Guaraldi Trio

Favorite Christmas Drinks: Hot cocoa and eggnog, but not strong eggnog like Jigen’s.

Favorite Christmas Foods: Anything, really. It’s something besides cup noodles, so he’s grateful. Lupin’s gift always includes lots of various Christmas goodies because of this.

Favorite Christmas Activities: Zenigata enjoys the snow in theory, but doesn’t handle the cold well. So he likes to watch the snow from his window while he listens to Christmas music in his squad car and sips his hot cocoa.

Favorite Christmas Movies: He doesn’t really have a lot of time to sit down a watch a movie, with how hard he works. But he remembers a few from when he was younger, and he really likes those. His favorite is Frosty the Snowman.

Christmas Gifts: Something inexpensive because ICPO vastly underpays this poor man, and he’s always embarrassed because of that, but it’s always something super sweet and heartfelt.

MERRY CHRISTMAS! And for those who don’t celebrate it, HAPPY HOLIDAYS! <3

[hansolmates]

jjk; angel’s trumpet [05]

summary; one second, your life is flashing before your eyes and the next, you’re transported into a world exactly like your own. but the jungkook you meet in this world isn’t a renowned singer or your former almost-lover, in fact he has no clue who you are and why you know him so well. as you work to find your way home lost and confused, you conclude that you’re either dead or in the middle of the most wicked drug trip of your life. pairing; idol!jk x reader (f), alternatively film producer!jk x reader genre/warnings; fluff, angst, supernatural, idol!au, non-idol!au, alternate universes, themes of fate, language, alcohol consumption, mentions of smut in future chapters w.c; 4.7k a/n; can u believe this fic is already over halfway done??? i feel more loved and supported for angel’s trumpet w each chapter! i hope u enjoy a more fluffier chapter and some insight on the separate relationships. thank u for the support!

[04] [05] [06] -> masterpost

Bliss. It’s been so long since you’ve experienced this feeling. 

These past few weeks have been nothing short of wonderful, like the sweetest version of reality. Working as a language teacher at BigHit was wonderful because of the staff and the fact that in the long run, your job would be helping the rookies get to know their fans better all over the world. But your job was also incredibly strenuous, and you felt an immense amount of pressure from the higher ups to teach the rookies as much as you could in between their other lessons and training. You remember the early days you’d be crying in the bathroom, scared of their exam scores because you knew it wasn’t possible to learn a language in less than a year, but the higher ups wanted you to achieve the impossible. 

But now, teaching is like a breath of fresh air. You found it appropriate to reabsorb your classes, and you’re still getting used to the sudden heavy workload. Namjoon was over the moon when you returned to your regular office in the biology department, treating you to coffee and catching you up on what you missed. Chan almost cried when he saw you Monday morning sitting in your lecture hall, saying his grade will finally be salvaged. 

However, the cherry on top has to be your budding romance with Jungkook. 

Maybe it’s the fact that you’re still swimming in the honeymoon phase, but everything just felt right. Of course, you can only hope your W2 self was already going to interact with Jungkook in one way or another, just like you had in your world. As of late you don’t feel like you're tearing this universe apart, worrying that you’re interfering in an alternate universe. 

A buzzing interrupts your thoughts, and you pat around your mattress for your cellphone. You don’t hesitate to answer. 

“Good morning, baby,” Jungkook’s rumbly morning voice flits through your speakers. 

You swoon, shuffling and kicking under your covers. A little part of you is disgusted how easy it is to turn to butter in Jungkook’s grasp, but it’s unsurprising. “Hey handsome,” you reply, trying to hide your giddiness. 

“How do you know I look handsome? My breath smells like leftover mac n’cheese and there’s dried drool on my chin.” 

“Mm, still handsome.”

“Ugh, you’re so gross,” but you can hear him smiling on the other line. “Do you have any plans for today?” 

“Dunno.” 

“Well there’s this new bubble tea cafe I know you’d like so maybe during my lunch we can--”

The rest of the words fade away as you notice an incessant banging on your front door. Whoever wants to come in is far too eager for this early. 

It’s then your calendar notification pings, and you see the big fat message atop your phone: 

Hobi Date 🍷🍷🍷

“Oh shit—” you smack your forehead, you completely forgot today’s the day you would find Sehlyung’s wine lady. “I’ll call you later Kook, okay?” 

You end your call, throwing your phone on the bed as you dash out to answer. Taehyung is yelling from the kitchenette, “I’m trying to eat some damn salad here!” By the time you slide out in your socks and down the hall, Hoseok is already inside your humble abode, holding coffee and donuts. 

“I brought libations,” Hoseok says with a bit of flair, setting them down next to Taehyung’s breakfast. 

“Thanks man,” and Taehyung makes grabby hands towards Hoseok’s coffee, and Hoseok looks horrified before snatching it away. “C’mon man, no coffee no entry!” 

“Taehyung, this is Hoseok,” you introduce, opening the box of donuts and offering Taehyung one in truce. You look pointedly towards Hoseok, sipping idly on his coffee, “Hobi, why don’t you wait in my room before we go, okay?” 

Hoseok tilts his head, eyes darting between Taehyung and you. It’s almost comical, the way Taehyung’s early-morning brain is having a hard time processing what was going on, and you wanting to keep a lid on the situation. “Sure, mom,” he slurps obnoxiously on his americano, waltzing down the hallway and into your room. He slams the door rather sharply, and that’s when Taehyung pounces. 

“Who’s the hippie?” 

“Hippie?” you balk, “Hoseok’s not a hippie.”

Taehyung shrugs, shoving a powdered donut in his mouth and completely forgetting about the limp lettuce on his plate. So much for a balanced breakfast. “I know all your friends, but I’ve never met this one.” 

“He’s new,” you take your pick of donuts as well, picking up a vanilla glazed one with rainbow sprinkles, “we’re gonna go shopping.” 

“Oo, can I come?” 

“No,” you say a little too quickly, causing Taehyung’s eyes to widen in confusion. You quickly backtrack, even going as far as to grab a napkin and dab the powdered sugar from Taehyung’s cheeks, “it’s old people shopping. We’re sending ginseng wine to our families. No brand names there.” 

Taehyung immediately buys it, scrunching his nose. “Not my favorite,” he says to himself. “Well, have fun doing old people things. Maybe Jimin will be willing to do something cool with me.” 

And with that, he abandons the limp lettuce with a flick of his wrist, letting them out your windowsill and into your little garden for compost. You two make your separate ways, you into your room and Taehyung into the bathroom.

When you open your door, you already see Hoseok making himself comfortable on your bed, flipping through your notebook. 

“You really shouldn’t be leaving this out on your desk,” Hoseok waves the yellow pages around, trying to look serious, “Taehyung could read this and you might end up in the cuckoo house.” 

With a roll of your eyes, you search for a sweater, “As if he wouldn’t join me.” 

You pull out a large black hoodie, courtesy of Jungkook. Trying not to look like a smitten high schooler, you subtly smell the collar before slipping it over your body. You melt in the fabric, and you almost hug yourself. Since your time at BigHit, you’ve missed wearing Jungkook’s things, and that’s a constant you can’t ignore. 

“If you end up in the cuckoo house, I’ll end up there too by affiliation,” he flops on your bed, waiting for you to get ready, “so, we gonna nab an old lady today for some wine?” 

“Ohmygod. What is wrong with you? You can’t say it like that, someone could report you!” you laugh, slapping him with a long sleeve. 

“So it’s more appropriate to say, ‘let’s go find the lady’s coked up wine that could’ve potentially sent you to an alternate universe’ right?” 

“Exactly,” you grin, pulling him up with an outstretched hand, “now let’s get going before we both end up in the cuckoo house.” 

•━━━━━━»•»💮💮💮«•«━━•••

Jungkook thought bliss ended once he got a good filming gig and a stable job, but no, it just had to get better. 

He doesn’t want to say he’s all consumed by your presence, but he can’t get enough of you. Sometimes he has to reel it in when you go out on dates, but he feels so lucky to call you his and hold you in his arms whenever he wants. 

You dropped into his life, quite literally. One day you just showed up and barged into his life. At first it scared him, immensely. But as he got to know you, wear you down and realize that the strong, blunt woman he met on the street is just as kind and sweet and soft–

The bottom line is, Jungkook wears his heart on his sleeve and loves loudly. He feels so much for you he can’t contain it. 

Except when Jimin wants to embarrass the hell out of you when they’re going over old pictures during work. 

“Can I tell you a story about how y/n almost peed in that fountain?” Jimin points to the small thumbnail Jungkook took earlier last week. You’re perched on a large limestone fountain, smiling at the little fish tickling the sides of the bowl. 

Taehyung gwaffs, choking on his sandwich. “God, that night was incredible! I got the Snapchat receipts too, Kook. If you want to second guess your standards.” 

A loud laugh bubbles from his throat, and Jungkook eagerly leans over Taehyung’s shoulder to get a better look at the screen. 

He likes your friends, too. To the point that he can safely consider them his friends. Of course he was intimidated the first time, especially when you were so pretty in your red skirt and surrounded by your equally attractive friends, but turns out Taehyung and Jimin are equally dopey and cringey as he. 

As silly as you look crouched over the water and pulling up your skirt, he melts at how carefree you look enjoying yourself on a free night. Jimin is hauling you off the ledge, grabbing you by the waist as you fruitlessly try to kick him away. 

“Careful,” Jimin tuts, sipping at his latte. “She’s gonna kill you if she finds out you showed it to Kook.” 

Taehyung scoffs, stuffing his phone away. “She looked like she was gonna kill me today when she brought that friend over. They were acting really weird,” Taehyung points his kimchi in Jungkook’s nose, “do you know Hoseok?” 

Jungkook blinks, opting to take a bite off Taehyung’s fork, “Kinda,” he shrugs, letting the tang of the kimchi spread across his tongue, “she has office hours when he’s working at the library daycare. They have lunch together.” 

Jimin leans in, hands fold over the white cafeteria table like he’s in the mafia, “What do you mean by weird, Tae?” 

“Like, she wanted him to wait in his room and they kinda just snuck out, y’know?” Taehyung divulges, “Like I love y/n, she the home girl, but who’s secretive about buying ginseng?” 

Jungkook’s chewing slows. He trusts you, however, he doesn’t know what to make of that little tidbit. But instead he swallows his kimchi, not caring that he didn’t chew enough or that it went down uncomfortably, and steels himself. “Probably just stressed about her thesis or something, I’m sure everything’s fine.” he says smoothly, trying to convince himself that he’s right, and he’s pretty sure he is. 

“Awh, Jungkookie’s so mature since he’s started dating!” Jimin paws all over the younger one like they’re long lost siblings. His hands travel to pinch his cheeks and ruffle his hair simultaneously, cooing like Jungkook’s a little bunny who’s merely existing. 

There’s a blush staining Jungkook’s cheeks, but he doesn’t mind Jimin’s bouts of attention. A small smile blooms to Jungkook’s face, and confirms to himself that he’s in a good spot in his life. 

•━━━━━━»•»💮💮💮«•«━━•••

“So, what are you and Jungkook like?” 

You shrug, “We’re good. It’s only been a few weeks though.” 

“No, I meant your Jungkook.” 

By definition, your Jungkook isn’t necessarily yours. However, the term is the byproduct of your current setting, and an unfortunate reminder that the Jungkook you’re dating now can never be definitively yours. 

(Or…? Can it?) 

“We were,” since when did you refer to you in and him in a past tense, “kind of a slow-burn, actually. We’d pass each other in the hall and exchange conversation during lunch in groups but, he kind of just crept up on me.” 

The train is going at a break-neck speed, the fancy rail floating across the track as it beams you closer and closer to your destination. Gone are the concrete jungles and carefully architected trees. You’re finally starting to see some natural foliage and blue seas. Today’s journey is a bit of a shot in the dark, you don’t even know what the person you’re searching for looks like, but it’s the only clear lead you have. 

“So you didn’t always know you loved him?” Hoseok asks, fiddling with the wire of his buds. 

You shrug, “I had a feeling. He’s an easy guy to fall in love with,” you don’t want to mention that nearly half the world is smitten by the Golden Boy, but from the bittersweet expression on your face Hoseok has an inkling. “There’s just a lot of factors that come with relationships. Factors that aren’t worth it. It’s easy here.” 

“It would be easy,” Hoseok replies to the air, closing his eyes. 

And he’s right. It would be easy to continue on with life, forgetting about the possibility that one day you could wake up in W1. It would be easy to forget about your other life, Beomgyu’s forgotten quiz that’s still probably lit up in your MacBook back home, Sehlyung’s wish for you to approve Jin’s new outfit. 

You wonder how your life back home is going, whether they’re moving on just like you seem to be. 

•━━━━━━»•»💮💮💮«•«━━•••

You really have no idea what Sehlyung’s wine dealer looks like. Work friends are work friends, where you’re close enough to share sexy secrets to each other but not as close as to divulge family life. 

You know that Sehlyung lives in a small town closer to the shore, as she’s mentioned one too many times that her feet are baby smooth from the constant sand exfoliation. You’re vaguely aware that this is the right area, at least you hope because W2 Sehlyung could be living in Guam for all you know.

Passing by the village square, you search idly for an old lady selling ginseng wine. You didn’t realize how much a shot in the dark this could possibly be. 

“Hey,” Hoseok whisper-hisses, and you try not to ignore the spit that brushes your ear, “you said to look for an old lady, right? All these ladies. They’re old.” 

He’s right.  

The village may be small, but there were over fifty booths with plenty of old ladies selling something. It would take hours, you didn’t even know if this lady would still be selling ginseng in this life. 

Your hands fall limp at your thighs, and you point to a small house at the end of the square. It’s cute, almost cottage-like, looking more high-end than the other shops on the street. “Maybe we should eat something before we do some searching. Otherwise someone’s gonna have to scrape us off the street.” 

“Good idea.” 

Surprisingly, the interior of the establishment is nothing like the front. There’s a very authentic quirkiness to it, down to the colorful blown glass vases and the eclectic amount of alcohol lining the bar. 

Not feeling like waiting for a table, the two of you wait by the bar, hopping on the two available stools in the corner. 

The two of you don’t waste any time, telling the waiter passing by that both of you would like a heaping bowl of glass noodles. 

“Care for a glass of something sweet?” 

Looking up from their dessert menu, you see an older lady leaning over you to pour you and Hoseok a cup of tea. She’s the definition of a chill grandma, from the easy way she smiles to the colorful hoop earrings she wears. You watch as she carefully pours you a cup for you, and you get a glimpse of the beautifully painted ceramic teapot, adorned with watercolor flowers. 

“If you have some angel wine,” you lick your lips, looking straight at her, “that would be lovely.”

There’s no hesitation in her work, and the lady continues to pour Hoseok’s cup with impeccable grace. She doesn’t bat a lash at your slight jab, even goes so far as to send you a crinkly smile. 

“Fresh out, m’fraid,” she replies easily, “sold my last batch to a lovely blonde over a month ago.” 

You swallow your surprise, the bile coming up your throat returning slow and achingly hard. Hoseok’s eyes dart between you and the old lady, and you clench your hands under the table. “Thought so,” you smile tersely, “then, do you have any recommendations?” 

Hoseok noisily slurps tea, as if he’s watching a melodrama. The old lady nods eagerly, placing her ceramic mug on a nearby potholder. “I’ll whip up something extra special.” 

It isn’t until the old lady whisks away from the bar and into the bathroom does Hoseok blurt, “Is the special thing drugs? Is she giving us drugs?” 

“Who knows,” you thank the waiter who sets down two metal bowls of glass noodles in front of you, “maybe the next drink will send us to the moon.” 

“Don’t even joke about that,” Hoseok grimaces, “my fuckin’ dream is to visit the moon.” 

As you two eat in silence, the restaurant slowly dwindles down as the lunch rush leaves and the start of dinner commences. Being a weekday, there aren't many coming down to eat out. You let yourself be immersed in the hubbub of the cottage, the clinking of clean tea cups and the laughter of staff sitting in the corner table. 

The lady finally returns when you’re nearly done with your meal. There’s a tall frozen glass in her hand, ice particles clinging to the barrier. There’s an umbrella and a pineapple adorning the rim, looking uncharacteristically bright and tropical. She places it next to Hoseok’s tea.

He narrows his eyes, “This doesn’t have LSD or anything, right?” 

She laughs, the hearty sound enveloping the restaurant. “Nope. Just passionfruit and mango.” 

Hoseok easily takes her word for it, sipping happily as it washes down his dinner. 

“For me?” you pop in. 

“Ah, some advice.” 

You shrink in your seat, “I want a fruit smoothie too.” 

But you relent when she opens her palms to you, gesturing for you to give her yours. They feel calloused and worn, as if she’s spent lifetimes dedicating her life to her craft. She rubs her thumbs against your palm, sending soothing circles to your skin.

“Enjoy your time as it lasts,” she says, quiet enough for only you two to hear, “things will fall into place very soon.” 

She senses you tense, and continues to hold you. You can’t tell whether this advice is foreboding or comforting.  

•━━━━━━»•»💮💮💮«•«━━•••

“I know what you're thinking,” Hoseok says when you return to Seoul, walking in the direction of your apartment. 

“And what exactly am I thinking, o’ wise one?” you kick a stray pepple your way, getting in a groove as you walk lazily down the sidewalk. 

“Her words,” he mumbles, “I don’t think it’s an invitation for you to get too comfortable here. Eventually… you’re gonna have to go back.” 

“I know, Hoseok.” You don’t mean to sound so agitated. After all, the mission was mostly successful. You got your answers, albeit vague ones. The old lady in the cottage simultaneously sparked and eased your soul, unfortunately it didn’t give you any definitive direction as to go on with this life, other than to simply “enjoy it.” 

“I know we’ve been debating whether you’re hallucinating or whether you’re in a coma and you’re having a really long dream or some weird mix of the two—” Hoseok jogs up to stop in-front of you, stuffing his hands in his orange cargos. He’s standing directly behind a 7-Eleven, the gaudy green and red lights lighting behind him like a halo.“And trust me, I’ve spent hours in bed thinking whether I’m real or not and potentially reaching an existential midlife crisis,” he grabs your hand and presses it to your chest, his other hand flailing wildly to the sky, “but this is real. All of it, I’m convinced it’s real. I’ve lived a long, slow, twenty-something life so far.” 

He pulls you into his arms, and you suppress a shudder as his warm embrace envelopes you. Is this some sort of punishment? For the first time in a long time, you’ve felt content. Not to say that your life in your world wasn’t normal but you could honestly admit that the time you’ve spent here is nothing short of amazing. There’s an ease to this life, something so simple and easy to love that you want to keep it in your heart and cherish it forever. 

“But ‘m gonna miss you,” you sigh into his chest, “we aren’t very close back in my world, y’know. So I’m glad I got to spend the time that I could with you.” 

“S’okay,” he mumbles into your hair, and you can feel the smile in your skin, “if we’re really meant to be friends, it’ll happen again.” 

Hoseok leaves you with these words, allowing you to breathe easy as you make the steps back to your apartment. Your feet are heavy from the day’s trek, but your mind feels lighter as you near your floor. 

You spot a young man in a long jacket hanging a bag on your doorknob, taking great care that the contents inside wouldn’t spill. 

“Jungkook?” you ask, smile widening when his gaze perks up to meet yours. It’s almost comical how he reacts to your voice, perking up like a little rabbit at the sound. 

His smile grows the closer you get to him, “Hey, pretty girl,” he murmurs, closing the space between you to press a chaste kiss on your cheek, “great timing. I got you something.”

Your eyes dart to the cup of bubble tea hanging on your doorknob. The cup is adorable, pink-tinted and rounded at the bottom with little cat ears for the lid. 

“Oh, you went! How was it?” 

“It was great! We should go once you’re free. Taehyung ordered three cups! Nearly puked all over Jimin’s couch.” 

“So,” your fingers trail up the buttons of his shirt, and you look up through your lashes, “you’re implying that my roommate isn’t inside our apartment right now.” 

He leans in, nose nudging your neck as his voice rumbles against your sensitive skin, “That’s exactly what I’m saying.” 

You’ve never punched in your key faster, clutching the bubble tea bag to place it along the counter as the two of you clamber in. Instead of making it to your bedroom or living room, Jungkook traps your body between the doorway, cradling your face in both his hands to press a sweet kiss on your lips. 

There’s nowhere to put your hands because both of Jungkook’s are up, so you close your eyes and let yourself savor the slow taste of his lips moving against yours. Finally you decide to settle your hands on his belt buckle, absentmindedly thumbing the loops as you get lost in the feeling. 

“Mm, Kook? Koo—” he presses quick pecks to your lips, barely giving you a chance to forge complete sentences, “can we move this somewhere more comfortable? ‘M legs are turning to jelly.” 

“Glad to have that effect on you,” he replies airily, thumbs pressing into your soft skin, “but I actually have to go, so no time to get comfy.” You whine against his lips, and he chuckles. “I have a cohort meeting at 8AM. We’re gonna organize our portfolios together.”

“Nerd,” you pout, pressing a kiss to his chin.

“And me and Mingyu are meeting online for some Overwatch in like, two hours.” 

“Gamer nerd,”

“Your nerd,” he beams, his thumb reaching out to swipe the sheen from your swollen lips, “lemme plan date night to make it up to you. Minghao will be out of town for the weekend so it’ll just be me at the apartment.” 

Date night. It all sounds so domestic to you, planning out designated days to spend time together. It isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but the fact that Jungkook sounds so settled with you is nothing short of heartening. 

“I’ll make dinner,” his fingers twine between yours, “and we’re keeping the dress code super casual. I want to see you in nothing but sweatpants and oversized t-shirts.”

“But sweatpants aren’t sexy!” 

“They are on you,” he retorts with a wiggle of his brows, “and sweatpants are easy access.” 

“Alright, as long as you don’t upstage me.”

“Never,” he grins, pearly whites on display, “now, I really gotta go.” 

He unlatches your body from his, only to have you immediately jump on him like a koala. You feel his large hands caressing your hair, taking the time to run his fingers through the tangles. You could fall asleep standing in the middle of your doorway, melting under his touch. 

“Good night, baby.” he says, pressing his lips to your forehead. 

“Sweet dreams, nerd.” you reply reluctantly, letting him open the door so he can go. 

“Dream of me!” is the last thing he says before he forces you to shut the door, leaving you thoroughly needy and wanting for him. 

Tonight, you dream long. 

•━━━━━━»•»💮💮💮«•«━━•••

Seven months ago, W1

You’re crying. There’s big, fat, ugly tears falling in rivulets along your face. You don’t even bother to wipe away the tears, just let them flow freely and dampen your pants as you watch the group take their final bow. 

From your seat, you take in the energy of the concert like it’s your last breath. The purple confetti dusting your hair, the slow remix blasting through the speakers. The sea of stars swimming across the stadium, all for them. 

You wait until everybody’s long gone before you get up from your seat. Until the only people that surround you are staff and clean-up crew, forcing you to leave. Your face still feels achy and your cheeks puffy. Sehlyung is urgently texting you (quadruple texting!) to hurry your ass up and get to the green room so you can all leave together. 

A hand on your shoulder stops you from replying, and you wave them off. “Yeah, yeah. I’m leaving already, sorry.” 

“Rude, I just got here.” 

Jungkook is glowing. He hoists his whole body to plop himself in the seat next to you, so heavy you fear he may break the plastic in two. His arms splay across the other seats, urging you to lean in closer. 

“Jungkook,” you smile, resting your hand on his thigh. “The show was great, I really felt the energy from all the way back here.” 

“I can see that,” he tugs at his long sleeves, reaching to brush a stray tear, “you okay?” 

“What, yeah.” you scoff, crossing your arms. 

“So you weren’t moved by my impeccable talent?” 

“Obviously,”

“Because, there’s nothing to be ashamed of if you were crying,” he goes on playfully, using his hands to narrate his spiel as he talks out to the stage, “I mean I get it, knowing how much I slaved over that solo and finally getting to perform it, and how I got sick the night before is a pretty–oh shit.” 

You’re blubbering again, feverish now that everyone’s gone and it’s only you two in the stadium. The lights have already started to go out, the only light illuminating are the red exit signs and the last pair of doors leading to the main lobby. Your cries are echoing across the large room, and you feel nothing short of embarrassed but you can’t stop crying.

“Awh, my little crybaby,” he cooes, dripping with affection as he moves the armrest to pull you onto his lap. You dive your face in his neck, wracking with sobs. 

“I’m, I’m just so proud of you,” you seep out, nuzzling your nose between his freshly cleaned face, “and you—you make it so damn hard for me to not love you it’s just, it’s not fair!” 

“You don’t make it any easier on me either,” he whispers, soft enough to crumble under his grasp and melt under his skin. 

The confessions are so soft, so easy to say. Little did the both of you know how much it would strain for you to place this love on the backburner. 

[dontasktheradiodemon]

DM Private Chat - 11/30

Alastor and @hiss-and-vinegar talk about Sir Pent’s mental health.

And Alastor casually mentions that he’s been to therapy and just, fucking, doesn’t elaborate on this at all.

11/29/2020

hiss-and-vinegar

🐍 DON'T TELLJOKEsr

dontasktheradiodemon

🎶 Come again?

11/30/2020

hiss-and-vinegar

🐍 OH. I DON'T REMEMBER SENDING THAT.

dontasktheradiodemon

🎶 Are you feeling alright? Didn’t wake up disoriented with a bump on your head?

hiss-and-vinegar

🐍 NO, I WAS JUST EXHAUSTED!!

🐍 I THINK THAT RESPONSE I DON'T QUITE REMEMBER HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH SOMETHING YOU SAID

dontasktheradiodemon

🎶 Oh? Remember what it was?

hiss-and-vinegar

🐍 YOU DOUBTING YOUR STANDING AS MY FRIEND!

🐍 I'VE NO INTEREST IN MAKING A DOPPELGANGER MY BEST FRIEND, THAT IS TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT.

dontasktheradiodemon

🎶 Oh! Fine, fine, no more jokes like that.

hiss-and-vinegar

🐍 AT LEAST PUT IN SOME KIND OF HINT TO ME THAT YOU ARE JOKING

🐍 LIKE YOUR OWWO FACE SOMEWHERE

dontasktheradiodemon

🎶 Right! No tone online, is there.

🎶 Honestly, it wasn’t so much a joke as a slight hyperbole! I expect you’ll be making good friends with him, won’t you? Who are you going to get along better with than yourself, after all! So much in common!

hiss-and-vinegar

🐍 COMMONALITIES MIGHT NOT ALWAYS BE SO GOOD FOR FRIENDSHIPS.

dontasktheradiodemon

🎶 No? I've always gotten along great with my duplicates! The only problems are when we don't have enough in common.

🎶 I'm quite alike with all my friends!

hiss-and-vinegar

🐍 I IMAGINE IT COMES NATURALLY TO YOU! I FIND IT A STRESSFUL ENDEAVOR. COMPETITION, BUT I TRY.

dontasktheradiodemon

🎶 Why compete! You could exchange tips and tricks on now to conquer your respective Hells! Or split up research projects—one of you works on an engine while the other works on a gun, you'll be twice as destructive in half the time and you can still take credit for it because you would have come up with the exact same designs!

🎶 But I understand, the temptation to see whether you measure up to yourself, and if you're the better of the two how can you trust he won't be envious... All the same. I think you Should get along.

hiss-and-vinegar

🐍 THAT IS WHAT I AM HOPING FOR, AND I AM CERTAIN IT WILL GO THAT WAY. HE SEEMS OPEN TO NEW IDEAS, MORE THAN I HAD BEEN. I SUPPOSE I AM THANKFUL HE WASN'T LIKE /ME/.

11/30/2020

dontasktheradiodemon

🎶 How do you know he's not thinking the same thing about you? Give yourself a little credit, my friend!

hiss-and-vinegar

🐍 HA! IT IS THE SELF LOATHING.

🐍 HM, THAT JOKE DOESN'T HIT RIGHT OVER TEXT

dontasktheradiodemon

🎶 I don't think it'd hit very well in person, either.

hiss-and-vinegar

🐍 CAN'T ALL BE BANGERS.

dontasktheradiodemon

🎶 You're just about the most impressive person I know! I'm amazed all of Hell doesn't think so! But if anyone should think so—it should be you.

hiss-and-vinegar

🐍 I KNOW THAT I AM AMAZING AND INCREDIBLE, I KNOW THAT I DESERVE EVERYTHING I WANT, THAT THERE ISN'T ANYONE AS HARDWORKING AND DEDICATED AS I AM!!!

🐍 BUT THERE ARE DAYS THAT I'M SO TIRED.

🐍 AND THOUGHTS SLIP IN, EXHAUSTING THOUGHTS.

dontasktheradiodemon

🎶 On those days, I'll try to like you enough for the both of us, how's that sound? See if I can't cancel out some of the thoughts that have no business hanging around your head.

hiss-and-vinegar

🐍 HAHA, YOU SOUND LIKE VALERA, ALASTOR.

🐍 THANK YOU.

dontasktheradiodemon

🎶 Well, with the two of us on the cause, you should be fine!

hiss-and-vinegar

🐍 HA! YES, WELL, WE KNOW THAT THERAPY IN HELL CERTAINLY WON'T BE OF ANY AIDE.

dontasktheradiodemon

🎶 Very entertaining, though! Ask an alienist to explain their favorite fringe psychological theories and it sounds like reading Jekyll & Hyde, all this talk about subtle mental processes you can affect with clever little chemical potions.

🎶 Have you been looking into that? I doubt all of them were damned for being bad at therapy, some of them have to be down here for adultery or what have you.

hiss-and-vinegar

🐍 OH, I DO NOT DOUBT IT AT ALL. SLEEPING WITH THEIR PATIENTS, I'VE HEARD TALE AS WELL.

🐍 I WAS REMEMBERING SOMETHING VALERA SAID ABOUT MEDICINE AND THERAPY. I SUPPOSE I WONDERED ABOUT IT.

dontasktheradiodemon

🎶 I meant normal, non-therapy-related adultery, but that too!

🎶 I suppose it can't hurt, as long as you don't go to an absolute lunatic. Easy enough to figure out by asking around.

hiss-and-vinegar

🐍 I AM NOT CERTAIN ABOUT IT, OVERALL.

🐍 AFTER ALL, GOING TO SOMEONE LIKE THAT, TO WHAT... POUR MY GUTS OUT FOR THEM TO MOCK AND PICK APART? MMM. NO THANK YOU

dontasktheradiodemon

🎶  What, the profession in general?

🎶 Ah! You'd be surprised what you can get away with keeping secret! Most of them are either too dumb to figure it out or too smart to pry.

🎶 And you can always shoot someone who knows too much.

hiss-and-vinegar

🐍 HA!

🐍 STILL, WHAT TO EVEN SAY? "I REQUIRE MEDICINE THAT WILL KEEP ME GROUNDED TO AN ACCEPTABLE LEVEL OF SUFFERING IN /HELL./"

🐍 I PUT IT TO THE SAME STANDARDS AS REDEMPTION--A NICE THOUGHT, BUT HARDLY POSSIBLE TO OBTAIN

dontasktheradiodemon

🎶 Sure! Why not say that? I've been brewing potions for a century—and a potion's just a kind of medicine—and, surprise surprise, most of them keep working just fine in Hell.

hiss-and-vinegar

🐍 I RATHER WANT TO AVOID BEING LAUGHED OFF.

dontasktheradiodemon

🎶 More than likely, what you're going to get is some alienist eager to chuck pills at you until something sticks. I've even seen ones that just keep little samples of reefer and coke in their office to shove at clients to see if that'll fix their problems, but they'll recommend the more finely-tuned stuff, no problem.

🎶 Why, they wouldn't be trying to make a living treating ailments of the mind in Hell if they didn't expect customers to come in the door asking to suffer less!

hiss-and-vinegar

🐍 I SUPPOSE THAT'S TRUE.

dontasktheradiodemon

🎶 I visited an alienist for a bit in the early aughts—competent man. Pro-cannibalism and pro-murder. Classy fellow, too. I could hunt out his contact information if you want?

hiss-and-vinegar

🐍 AH.. PERHAPS?? I DON'T KNOW. I'M STILL NOT SURE.

🐍 I DO NOT ENJOY ASKING FOR HELP FROM HELL'S SINNERS

dontasktheradiodemon

🎶 I'd think of it less as "asking for help" and more as "demanding a service worker do their job on your behalf"!

🎶 But up to you. Offer's there if you want to try it out with someone who's already been vetted for competency.

hiss-and-vinegar

🐍 I GUESS I ALREADY TRUST ALCOHOL FLOODING THE CREVICES OF MY BRAIN TO HANDLE MOST OF MY PSYCHOSIS, PERHAPS IT ISN'T TOO ODD TO HOPE FOR SOME MEDICINE THAT IS MEANT FOR THE JOB.

dontasktheradiodemon

🎶 I'm given to understand that most modern medicines work by taking the narcotics people already use to some chemist's lab and extracting the particles that help from the bits that cause side-effects you don't want. So if you've already got something that helps, I bet you anything that someone out there has made a more refined version.

🎶 And I'm not just talking about a higher proof!

hiss-and-vinegar

🐍 MMM

🐍 I DON'T KNOW ABOUT "HELPS" HAHA! JUST NUMBS EVERYTHING, ABOUT.

dontasktheradiodemon

🎶 Well—maybe something more useful's been made anyway, who knows.

🎶 I'm going to ask a question, and if it's none of my damn business you can tell me so, I won't take offense.

🎶 But when you say you've got a "psychosis"—everyone I've met who says that means something different by it. What's it mean to you?

hiss-and-vinegar

🐍 WELL, UP UNTIL I'D DIED, I THOUGHT THAT MY BRAIN WAS CONTAMINATED WITH GHOSTS. AT LEAST, THAT'S WHAT I WOULD HAVE BEEN TOLD BY THE PHYSICIANS OF MY TIME. NOT ALL OF THEM, MIND YOU, BUT WE WERE ALL OFTEN BLAMED FOR OUR OWN MENTAL INSTABILITY.

🐍 BUT I DO KNOW THIS.

🐍 WHEN IT IS AT ITS WORSE, IT IS AS IF I CAN FEEL MY OWN BLOOD BECOME ACID IN MY VEINS, AND MY OWN SCREAMING IS FAR AWAY.

dontasktheradiodemon

🎶 Huh. Metaphorically or literally?

🎶 I can at least say it's no ghost. I dealt with plenty of ghosts and none of them ever did anything like that.

hiss-and-vinegar

🐍 I WANT TO SAY METAPHORICALLY, BUT I DON'T KNOW. POSSIBLY METAPHORICALLY.

🐍 ALL I KNOW IS I AM OVERCOME WITH THE INTENSE PULL TO CLAW AND TEAR AT MY OWN FLESH, FOR SOME KIND OF RELIEF.

🐍 YOU BETTER NOT LAUGH- THESE ARE EMBARRASSING THINGS TO ADMIT.

dontasktheradiodemon

🎶 My friend, I am absolutely not laughing.

hiss-and-vinegar

🐍 A GREAT SHAME OF AN INVENTOR, TO ADMIT THAT HE IS MAD INDEED. ANOTHER REASON FOR ALL OF HELL TO BRUSH ME OFF.

dontasktheradiodemon

🎶 What, haven't you heard of the "eccentric genius"? And to hear the picture shows tell it, most inventors are mad. I don't think it's anything to be ashamed of!

🎶 I know some curses that make one's veins feel like fire, but if you were hexed, you'd probably know by now. Never heard of a mental cause. But then that's not my field, I'm sure someone knows.

hiss-and-vinegar

🐍 PERHAPS IT IS JUST MY LOT IN HELL!

dontasktheradiodemon

🎶 If it started before you got to Hell? I doubt it!

🎶 I'm not claiming to be some kind of expert on acid blood, I'm just... well... Thinking out loud, I suppose.

hiss-and-vinegar

🐍 I UNDERSTAND. MY BLOOD DOESN'T FEEL LIKE ACID THE REST OF THE TIME.

🐍 JUST WHEN IT ALL GOES SIDEWAYS. AND EVERYONE BECOMES AN EVERYTHING.

🐍 AND I BARELY FEEL LIKE I'M HERE.

dontasktheradiodemon

🎶 Ahhh. So it doesn't just come on by itself, it's some sort of reaction to something.

hiss-and-vinegar

🐍 YES, APPARENTLY.

dontasktheradiodemon

🎶 Some kind of brain-storm, then. Huh. Well, I don't know if people were familiar with brain-storms in your time, but they were in mine, so it stands to reason someone's got to know more about them by now.

hiss-and-vinegar

🐍 A BRAIN STORM? WHAT A FUN LITTLE NAME! WOULD MAKE AN INTERESTING WEAPON.

dontasktheradiodemon

🎶 Hah, there's an idea! Go to a shrink, tell 'em you have brain-storms, wait'll he asks what they feel like, then say "Like this!" and shoot.

🎶 It probably wouldn't help. But it'd be funny!

hiss-and-vinegar

🐍 HAAAAAAA HA HA HAAAAAAA

🐍 I DO LOVE THAT!

hiss-and-vinegar

🐍 AH, THANK YOU ALASTOR. I DO NOT MAKE IT A HABIT TO CONFIDE LIKE THIS. MY MIND BECOMES PANICKED AT THE THOUGHT THAT I MAY HAVE SAID TOO MUCH, BUT THE FACT YOU DIDN'T LAUGH ME OFF MEANS A LOT.

dontasktheradiodemon

🎶 I'd never!

🎶 And you've done the same for me. Not brain-storms, per se, but other unhappy things knocking around in my head.

hiss-and-vinegar

🐍 NYA HA HA, SO WE ARE EVEN! (I AM WINKING)

🐍 ;3

dontasktheradiodemon

🎶 So we are! Very kind of you, I don't like being in someone else's debt for long!

🎶 UwwO

[welcometothebookreport]

In 2020, I read 40 books (with maybe a few more to be added after I post this) after discovering my love of reading all over again. I am not a very hard reader to please, so it will be rare for me to rate a book with a low score, so I doubt you’ll ever see any criticism from me. So, here we go!

A few things before I start: There are three series in this list (but technically only two, because I’ve only read Serpent & Dove so far) but I’ve limited myself to no repeat authors. That must have been the hardest part for me. Since Jessi went the extra mile and ranked them in order, I’ve decided to make myself suffer the same. And while most of these were not published in 2020, they were read in 2020.

I am (sometimes) a picky reader, but any book that is on this list, I have loved. I chose not to rate them because honestly, they would have all been high. I give ratings easily, and try not to pick things apart even for books I truly did not like.

Please keep in mind that I do my best to add trigger warnings, but you should always check for certain triggers before reading. Triggers vary for everyone.

10. Saint Anything by Sarah Dessen

Warnings: There’s a male character that’s a creep and you’ll spot him as soon as you crack this one open. This tale deals with Peyton being sentenced to prison, and their mother practically glossing over what he’s done by victim blaming.

I have read Dessen’s books since I was 13 and I truly still enjoy her stories as much as I did then. While this was a re-read for me, it’s a tie for my favorite book of hers. It’s tied with Along For the Ride.

Sydney is left in the aftermath after her older brother, Peyton, is sentenced to prison after a drunk driving accident that paralyzes a boy. Formerly in his shadow, Sydney struggles to discover what it is she wants, and how she wants to be seen as her own mother seems to gloss right over her. It’s a YA read that always feels like more than the romance that originally interested me.

9.  Serpent & Dove by Shelby Mahurin

Warnings: Misogyny. The church and religion plays an extremely heavy part of this plot, which was hard for me to get into. It’s clear that some characters do not value women in their actions and words toward Lou. It made me uncomfortable in spots because I just wanted to get past it, but I plan to read this one again since I know that it won’t bother me this time! Still, there is: violence in parts, religious zealots (in case that’s something that makes you uncomfortable like it did me), derogatory slurs toward women, and again, misogyny.

I finished this one two days ago, and I sincerely cannot wait to dig into the sequel. Lou is a witty, snappy character that was such a breath of fresh air from the normal. You usually see the male lead that’s a bit crude, a bit quick to pull the trigger, and the one that’s harder to crack. Is that what happened here? Absolutely fucking not. Shelby Mahurin took something I loved, enemies to lovers, and kicked its ass. Forced marriage? UM YES. A witch and a witch-hunter? Mortal enemies? Characters that can never possibly love each other? DONE DONE DONE.

It’s hilarious in parts. Serious when it needs to be. A bit spicy too, while not a lot, which I certainly appreciate. Reid’s character development is a wonder to watch, at least for me, and by the end of the book, I am so in love with him that I don’t know what to do with myself. I have so many annotations for this novel.

8. The Shadows Between Us by Tricia Levenseller

Warnings: There’s a fair bout of murder. Women are expected not to take lovers before marriage while men are not held to the same standard. Gross. Allessandra is continually underestimated so let me say: let the women do the work.

It’s called the Slytherin romance we’ve been waiting for, and I agree. While this is a shorter read, and a standalone, I was pleased with it. Both characters are incredibly ambitious, but it’s Allessandra that steals the show. The plan? To enter the palace, woo the king, and then kill him in order to take his kingdom. She’s wicked in all the ways I love.

I loved this book, and each page, but this was the line that will make me return to it: “I’m not a trollop,” I announce to the empty room. “I’m a sexually empowered woman, and there’s nothing wrong with that.”

The Folk of the Air Series by Holly Black

Warnings: Aside from murder, there’s nothing that stands out to me as a trigger.

A series! The first! There’s something interesting about this series for me, and it’s that I didn’t fall in love altogether, all at once. It was gradual, like wading into water until it went right over my head. By the final fourth of The Cruel Prince, I was fully invested in this world and I absolutely needed to know how Jude and Cardan would become, well, Jude and Cardan.

As a YA series, I was not expecting the sheer amount of mystery, political intrigue, and plot twists that came with this series. However, I never knew what was going to happen, and if I did guess what was coming, Black had at least two more twists to send me for a loop. The Queen of Nothing was likely my favorite book of the series, with The Wicked King as a close second.

6. Red, White & Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston

Warnings:  Discussion of attempted non-con assault, forced disclosure of sexuality

I laughed until my eyes watered and I nearly cried in this book. Delightfully funny, and snappy, RW&B delivers on everything I didn’t know that I needed. I had never read a book where LGBTQ was represented in such a positive light. As someone raised in a more conservative household, I’ve known my own sexual orientation for a long time, but this book made me feel like I could relax in my skin because this story was stunning.

Alex and Henry left me with so much hope that it’s impossible to ever put the lid back on. I’m so happy I read this.

(oh, god, we’re in the final five.)

5. The Caraval Series by Stephanie Garber

Warnings: Physical and emotional child abuse.

I could dedicate multiple posts to this series. Maybe I still will. While this is at number five, it’s my favorite series I’ve ever read. If I could only have one series to read for the rest of my life, I would choose this one. Hands down. Full stop. These characters live in my head constantly and I would give an obscene amount of things to read it all over again for the first time. I actually read this with two of my closest friends in our many book club, and we all loved it.

Doused in magic, this world is unveiled to us with excellent descriptions. Truly, Garber owned my heart within a few chapters. Scarlett is the elder sister, Tella the younger, and if you don’t love Tella by the end of Caraval, I promise you will. I know because I was skeptical, but here I am. I’ve said it to my friends, but Scarlett is the one who holds my hair while I have a hangover. Tella is the one that helps me start the bar fight.

With non-stop turns, and magic, everything comes to life on these pages. And the romance, the romance. Please, please give me my great love in this style. It’s not too much to ask for, is it?

4. Letters to the Lost by Brigid Kemmerer

Warnings:  loss of sibling, loss of parent, alcoholism, mention of infidelity, mentions of previous physical and emotional child abuse.

Mae sent this recommendation to me, and I devoured all of Kemmer’s books post-haste. Declan and Juliet fall in love without knowing who the other is, while also not liking the real version of their penpal. Juliet has lost her mother, and she’s treading water, but not well. Declan has suffered in the years that follow a family tragedy, and he’s not adapting to life with his new step-father.

But he opens with CemetaryGirl (Juliet) and it’s raw in the best of ways, and the openness between them that eventually moves from their bubble to reality is one of the most pleasing things to read. I’ve read it twice this year. I will read it again next year too.

I also read this twice this year and will for sure be reading it again in 2021.

3. The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern

Warnings: Child abuse.

This was another novel that I fell in love with as I went, and that’s definitely because of the non-linear narrative. It was a little confusing, but I’m going to read it again someday since I know everything now! I read this to follow-up to Caraval with my book club pals, and it’s just what I needed to leave Caraval behind. Marco and Celia are incredible and I absolutely believe that the ending of this novel is one of the best endings I’ve ever read.

My book club has not finished this book entirely this so I’m not sharing any spoilers, but I would like to share one of my favorite quotes. “What did you wish for?” “I wished for her.”

2. Next Year in Havana by Chanel Cleeton

Warnings: Cuba is in the middle of a revolution, and it’s tense in parts. There are some bittersweet elements and I think the parts of the ending are like the punch in the gut you need in order to wake you up and remember to live.

This was my first read once I really dug back into this hobby in August. It was picked by Reese Witherspoon for her book club, and she always picks good books. This is a dual timeline romance, and mystery. It’s an absolute stunner of a book. It’s a dear favorite to me now. I’ve never been to Cubs, or heard stories, but Cleeton manages to make you feel like you’re right there feeling saltwater spray across your face.

The romance made me feel breathless, but truly it’s the strong familial ties that make this such a beautiful gem. It leaves you with hope even in the dark and with love in the absence of it. I could scream about this book for the rest of my life, which I absolutely intend to do.

Favorite line? “You’re going to be difficult to walk away from, aren’t you?” “I hope so.”

1 In A Holidaze by Christina Lauren

Warnings? There are none that strike me. This is a lighthearted read that pulls at the heartstrings, but it’s by no means short on the laughs. And, I’m sorry for the long wall of text below.

In A Holidaze is the story of a woman stuck in her ways of never going after what she truly wants until a stray wish lands her in a time loop over the holidays. It's only after repeating the same day a few times that she quite literally says "fuck this," and starts living for HER. I really expected this to just be a Hallmark kind of read, but it was SO MUCH MORE. You should read it, even if it's after the holidays.

It's witty, and heart-wrenching, and it's just everything I didn't know I needed. Mae is snarky, and brave when she figures out that there is nothing stopping her, and the romance is - GODDAMN. Andrew. I need an Andrew and a fan.

It's not quite a love triangle, which was what I expected and I was so pleasantly surprised. I have grinned like a goddamn fool all day. I have giggled all day in front of customers, and my co-workers. I have nearly CRIED in my bedroom when my heart fell out of my ass and landed somewhere near my ankles, because hello, it's gonna get you.

This is going on my yearly re-read list for the holidays.

In the two days since I’ve finished, I’ve convinced my two friends in book club to read it, convinced Jessi to order it from Book of the Month Club, convinced another friend to read it, and bought it for Mae on Christmas day because her library had a six month hold and that was simply unacceptable.

[ziracona]

Do you have any favorite drinks and foods headcanons for ilm?? I feel like Meg would like Shirley templess 👀

Hmmm for sure but there’s so many characters I don’t know how to comprehensively answer this, haha. Meg probably would enjoy that. I think she drinks sometimes for fun or bc it seemed like a good idea at the time, but actually prefers non-alcoholic, because it’s not that great to her, and also because you have to not take your adhd meds if you plan on drinking that day as they interact, and amphetamine > depressant lol. I think she enjoys fruity mixed non-alcoholic stuff a lot. Specially if it got that 👌 zest 👌 to it.

Meg is a huge nerd who likes most of her favorite foods for fan reasons. Her favorite food is chocolate chip cookies with blue chocolate chips because of Percy Jackson. Favorite drink she would probably say is coke, but in reality it’s probably some kind of non-alcoholic cocktail she wouldn’t think to name.

Jake has a proficient pallet from being rich and can actually tell a huge difference in food quality, but hates this and is determined not to be the spoiled rich shithead who only deins to eat from a plate prepared by someone who graduated prestigious culinary school at the top of their class. Has forced himself to acquire a taste for lean meats and nuts. Would request like salted cashews if Meg was getting snacks & she’d throw a fit bc mixed nuts isn’t a treat and he would be offended she was judging his pick. Secretly really appreciates diligently and artfully prepared food. Does not like lamb. He will hunt and there’s not much he feels bad about eating, but he saw a lamb going to get slaughtered as a kid and absolutely will not stomach that as food ever since. Would feel weak & has probably only mentioned it to Dwight, or maybe Claudette, bc she’d never judge or be mean, or maybe Quentin, Kate, or Adam, because Quentin & Kate would agree, and Adam is like, the chillest man ever.

Dwight likes sea salt and vinegar chips, beers, Pepsi, pretzels, steak, and (secretly) those frosted animal crackers. Gets shit constantly for his taste in food and drink. Just wants to be left alone. One time Claudette drank a beer with him to make him feel better bc everyone else was making fun of him for liking beer and she is sweetheart.

Claudette enjoys a dish her mom makes out of fried onions, squash, artichokes, and optionally also mushrooms, probably more than any other food in the world. It is really good. Favorite drink is sparkling grape juice. It makes her feel like she is drinking champagne, but it actually tasted good, and won’t get her drunk or hungover. Also likes tea a lot. Most green and white tea types especially.

Nea likes almost anything with a cronch when you bite into it. Enjoys fish too, and curry the way Min makes it (which is very rushed college student but like, rushed college student with standards). Really likes empanadas after being introduced to them. Also genuinely really loved both Claudette’s amaranth oatmeal and her realm cookies, and since she and Quentin kind of ‘grew up’ inside the realm, it’s also like, surreally and kind of heartbreakingly, a nostalgic and comforting childhood memory to her. They remind her of times she was more okay as a teenager. :’-] Favorite drink is probably a kind of complicated cocktail that is very strong but also sweet and tangy, nursed for a long time. Or a sports drink if she’s on the go. (Lol her fave drink is just the alcoholic version of Meg’s).

Min likes anything spicy that is prepared well, but especially likes meat dishes. Girl wants her protein so she can kick ass. Really loves Ace’s cooking. Smell is 70% of taste. Spice it up, fam. Only knows how to cook 3 dishes on her own, but they’re a good 3. Doesn’t have a single fave. Although she does greatly enjoy just like, devouring a slab of meat if Anna cooks. It makes her feel like a powerful wild beast to just shred a flank with her teeth and she digs that. Fave drink is baijiu, although more in a competitive way because it’s alcoholic af & she can stomach it than actually for taste or pleasure. For taste she will just mooch off Nia & Ace, who both like fruity alcohol.

Ace likes a homemade bread recipe of his mother’s most (I think he and Frank are the only two with stated favorites in-fic?). Makes it a lot for the girls and for friends, and everyone likes it so this works out well. Enjoys martinis and any fruity alcohol, but is good about not actually getting drunk past lucidity. Also enjoys just really nice brands of various juice (mango is probably his favorite?)

Quentin likes his Dad’s pasta recipes probably most, but doesn’t have a favorite from among them. Also likes red velvet cake a lot because he only ever gets it on his birthday and it makes him happy. His mom died when he was really young and he pretty much doesn’t remember her, but one of the memories he still has is of her giving him birthday cake. It’s the time of year he always feels closest to her. Favorite drink is energy drinks because he’s stupid and likes to play god with his body and knock back adderall with shots of redbull. Didn’t like energy drinks so much before Freddy, and back then probably Coca-Cola or something was the fave, but now energy drinks are associated with comfort in his head, so he genuinely likes them. Also really likes M&Ms. Used to treat himself to a bag from the school vending machine if he had a shitty day, so they are also associated with comfort.

David likes chips (as in fries cut UK style/thick, not American chips). He is enlightened and sees the true value of all potato products as well, and honors them as such. Also is the enjoyable kind of person who genuinely & visibly appreciates most all good food. He likes beers too (you and Dwight, buddy) although he’s got better taste in them. His favorite drink is probably coffee though. He likes strong coffee, full body, with just a little bit of cream and sugar so it’s still bitter but has a pleasant edge to it. Not sure why that’s his favorite. He just really likes it.

Laurie likes strawberry milk. Would give that answer if asked for fave food or drink. If prompted further would consider, then suggest that as her drink, and some kind of really nice soup as her favorite—probably pumpkin. Will genuinely enjoy any gift of food someone picked out for her with some thought. Also loves Mac’n Cheese a lot, but would not admit to that to everyone because she’s kind of embarrassed that as many times as she’s had it in the past two years alone, her heart still sees a warm bowl and years for the good shit.

Kate likes fruit. Mangos, raspberries, blueberries, blackberries, peaches, pears, pomegranates. Has the patience to eat a pomegranate too. Would just say “fruit” if asked. Loves to pick it fresh. Favorite drink is probably a smoothie, but she would insist that counts. What flavor would vary, but she leans towards blueberry or raspberry on default because she likes the colors.

Tapp likes Chinese food. Mostly this is because Chinese takeout was the nicest thing he could ever afford on the reg as a treat. However, he gets to eat real chow mein and mapo tofu (former made by Ace, the latter by Min—spicy mapo tofu being one of the 3 dishes she knows), and decides those are now his favorite food. Would not ask people to make that because it would be being a hassle, and he would think it wouldn’t matter and would be stupid & not worthwhile to request a dish when visiting a friend, but gets excited internally when they make that & gives sincere and generous compliments. Tried and failed super badly to learn how to make both, but Rachel Thomas (who didn’t know at all how to either but is great at teaching herself shit) helped him figure it out and now he makes them as often as he can without feeling like it will get old/annoy the people living with him. Favorite drink is whiskey but that’s for depression reasons. For genuine enjoyment, he likes probably just juice. Orange or pomegranate.

Adam shares Min’s enjoyment of spicy foods, but is really into trying new things and genuinely doesn’t have a favorite. If he had to pick, he’d probably say Bulla cake, because it is his favorite desert/treat. He really enjoys them & they are nostalgic to him. Good memories of his childhood. His uncle wasn’t always great at knowing what to say, but used to pack him one to take to school any time he knew Adam was stressed or intimidated by an exam or due project. Even if it went bad, he had a comfort reward for making it through. Always buys them when he’s somewhere he can. Favorite drink is tea. He likes a wide variety, but masala, jasmine, and ginger are some constant favorites. Would actually know, care about, and adhere to proper boiling/steeping times per tea type.

Jeff likes baked goods. He really enjoys the baking process itself a whole lot, especially if he has people he can cook for/share with. Definitely has created several original & very good bread recipes. Prefers bready goods to sweet ones. About the sweetest fave he has is basic scones (just bread/no nuts or fruit or filling. Slightly sweet bread with a little sugar on top, meant to be paired with jams etc when eaten). Likes those a lot. Favorite drink shifts from subtype to subtype, but is always one of his homemade craft beers. Also enjoys Dr. Pepper (ah I knew I was forgetting—both he & Joey also have some stated canon favorites. So does Susie).

Jane’s favorites are both things her dad makes. He has a really good ceviche recipe and a complicated secret recipe bean dip, and Jane likes snacking on those with a bowl of chips while chatting on the porch. Slow meal extends both fun of chat and fun of conversation. And her dad has a really good sense of spice use. She can make both well too, but is convinced they taste completely different when she does & distressed by this. Her dad insists they taste the same, but also always sympathetically packs her some time take home anyway. Her favorite drink is probably either coffee or wine, out of familiarity and comfort. She’s not very particular though. As a treat she enjoys moccacinos with a ton of whipped cream a whole lot though.

This was already super long so I’m gonna stop here, but I wood cry if I didn’t include at least Philip in what is now clearly just a survivor lineup. So honorary addition:

Philip likes anything really cold and refreshing. Prefers things with a little bite, so he would pick a cola or alcohol over a fruity drink. Not a big preference past that. Always touched and surprised any time a friend goes into a gas station pitstop and comes back with /any/ ice cold beverage for him, no matter how many times it happens. The gesture to him is very much genuine kindness instead of a friendly nothing. For food, he likes anything with enough substance to actually make him not hungry. So meat dishes are a big plus, as is nice bread. He doesn’t have a favorite meal-meal, probably, but there is a kind of cookie made entirely of egg whites and sugar, that is beaten and fluffy and sweet like a cloud and really delicious somehow despite having almost no substance. Philip had no knowledge of these, but Claudette made him some one morning she was feeling happy not too long after they both first went home to Montreal, and the meringue chocolate chip cookie variant she made was one of the best things he had ever eaten, and probably is his favorite food. They’re like little bites of the concept of sweetness without it being an overdose, and have a very unique and pleasing texture. With the chocolate added, it’s just right. 👌 And then also, of course, it was a gift welcoming to his new home, from the person who more or less is his new home. : )

[ask-alaska-and-hawaii]

TV Tropes: Alaska

Acting Your Intellectual Age: He has the looks of a first-grader but the mind of a seasoned mountaineer and has no interest in connecting with children that look his age. However, this could just be because he has no interest in connecting with anyone outside his ‘pack’ after what happened last time.

Adorkable: Has his moments, such as when he’s gushing about dogs. He really loves dogs.

The Alcoholic: Being Alaska, Alaska has a love for the sauce, especially salmon vodka. This usually leads him to pass out by the end. 

Animal Motif: Dogs and wolves obviously. Specifically Alaskan Malamutes and Siberian Huskies for the former and Arctic Wolves for the latter.

Badass Bookworm: Loves to read but is a natural survivalist and gunslinger.

Berserk Button: For your safety, do not mention Russia or Texas within ten feet of him. Also, don’t call him small.

Big Brother Instinct: To Hawaii and by extension the other states if they are threatened as he does genuinely care about all of them even if they do think he’s rather odd.

Big Brother Mentor: Also to Hawaii by sharing his experiences to teach her that the world isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. She, however, hasn’t taken on his nihilism and still believes in the best in people.

Big Eater: Given that he smokes marijuana, is a state, and is stress eater this is no big shocker.

Blue-and-Orange Morality: Being raised by wolves, Alaska has a mindset closer to animals than humans. For one Alaska, cares nothing for morality besides protecting his ‘pack’ (America and the other states) and judges things like disloyalty and irresponsibility far more harshly than someone being outright malicious. He also thinks that politicians need to start fighting to the death for their position. Literally. (This also could just be because he just hates politicians since they often lie to gain people’s favor)

Broken Bird: After so many years of tragedy and isolation, Alaska is understandably rather cynical.

Break the Cutie: See ‘Dark and Troubled Past’.

Brooding Boy, Gentle Girl: A platonic version but he is the brooding boy to Hawaii’s gentle girl. 

Brutal Honesty: Everyone agrees that Alaska is probably the most honest of the states, however, his honesty is usually extremely impolite to which he just says ‘I say the truth, it’s their fault if they can’t accept’.

Byronic Hero: Alaska is snarky, stoic, stubborn, excessively cynical but is passionate about his beliefs and has a soft spot for the environment and its creatures.

Celibate Hero: While not asexual, he has little interest in ever having sex and it’s not just because he looks six.

Color Motif: White and gray.

Comically Serious: He does not understand jokes so he will often take these at face value.  

Crazy-Prepared: Winter’s in his state are intense, so he leaves nothing to chance. 

Dark and Troubled Past: Imagine being locked into the form of a baby, abandoned by the people who were supposed to love and protect you, find a new family in wolves only for them to be killed leaving you to survive on your own while looking a like a toddler. When you finally found someone they also die leaving you to want to curl up and die and then be adopted again but seen as odd by your adopted siblings. Yeah, Alaska having depression and anxiety makes a lot of sense.

Deadpan Snarker: Usually this, especially when at states meeting or when he’s answering asks.

Defrosting Ice Queen: Alaska is not an easy person to get along with and can be extremely rude and sarcastic especially to ask blogs that star Texas, however, it is possible for him to warm up to some people outside his family like Dave (@alaska-ask-blog-aph) or at the very least learns the ability to bite his tongue.

Emotionless Boy: Most of the time, he is extremely stoic due to the fact that when he does express emotion, he can come off as rather intense.

Everyone Has Standards: He has a strange morality, however he is openly disgusted by ‘people’ who would rip away children’s innocence.

Foil: To Hawaii. They are both disconnected states and the child of a Native mother and Caucasian parent with trauma happening to them at very young ages which caused them to act the way they do, with Alaska being very stern and no-nonsense while Hawaii is energetic and enjoys making people smile.

Friendless Background: Because of his inability to relate to children his physical age and his autism causing him panic attacks whenever he is in close proximity to others, he has very few friends other than Hawaii. 

Friend to All Children: Zigzagged. He doesn’t connect with older children very well but he does have a soft spot for toddlers and babies and even makes an attempt to be openly kind to them. He also considers the worst people the ones who would purposefully steal their innocence and wouldn’t hesitate to pull his gun on such people.

Friend to All Living Things: Hey, I said humans, I never said anything about animals but yes he does love animals particularly dogs, wolves, and eagles.

Good is Not Nice: Not nice is an understatement. He has a strange moral code, is rather rude to new people, and mainly keeps to himself but if someone dares and tries to hurt his little sister or anyone in his family, they better start running.

Guilt Complex: Blames himself for what happened to his crush.

Hates Being Touched: The only one who he will willingly let touch him, much less hug him, is Hawaii. Other than not, hands-off.

Hates Their Parent: Openly refers to Russia as ‘a sperm donor’. And that’s when he’s being nice.

The Hermit: Lives like this whenever he’s at home in his state.  

Hidden Depths: 

Instead of hockey as one would think, he enjoys figure skating and is actually pretty good.

Not shown on the blog, yet but he actually enjoys the company of toddlers like Nunavut as they are far less complicated than people who are older.

He also enjoys writing and even creates stories in his free time. He also uses it along with his personal journal as a form of therapy for himself.

Huge Guy, Tiny Girl: Brother/Sister version. Alaska is the huge guy to Hawaii’s tiny girl, especially once they’re older where he’ll be at 5′11 to 6′0 to Hawaii’s 5′3. Justified as Alaska is one-fifth the size of the lower 48 and is larger than Montana, California, Texas COMBINED.

Human Mom, Non-Human Dad: While his biological father is Russia, his mother was a normal Yup'ik woman named Uki.  

Hypocrite: Alaska calls Russia a ‘cruel, crazy manchild’  when he openly calls for the deaths of anyone who betrays their country. He also wants Hawaii to seek help when he resists any for him.

Hypocrite has a Point: To be fair, being lenient with traitors is a recipe for disaster for this country.

Ice Queen: He’s a rather cold and rude person but still a nice guy underneath.

Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Cynical, rude, stubborn are all words that would accurately describe him but also family-orientated, protective, and generous when he needs to be.

Knight in Sour Armor: He does see the world as a cold and dark and is a self-proclaimed misanthrope but still does his best to protect his family and people.

Meaningful Name: Alaska’s name Inuit name, ‘Nukilik’, means ‘strong’ and given everything, he’s gone through and still living to see today, no one can say he isn’t strong. As for his European name of ‘Peter’ meaning ‘stone’ and he is stone-faced and it’s also a nice reference to Peter the Great of Russia.

Mixed Ancestry: He’s half-Slavic, half-Inuit. 

Nature Lover: Growing up most of his life in the forests of Alaska, it makes sense the woods are where he’s most comfortable especially among the animals there. He is also disgusted by hunters who hunt merely for the game and not because they need it.

Not Good with People: Type 2. My beloved grumpy boy is unsurprisingly not good with people as he can’t understand their feelings or why he offended him. However, he is good at reading the feelings of animals and emphasizes more with them.

No Social Skills: Justified due to both his upbringing. He also is very indifferent to having them at the end of the day.

Older Than They Look: Being a state this a given. However where he differs, since he was born in 1800, he’s actually older than most states but since he was basically deserted by Russia he was never given the ability to grow.

Only Sane Man: Certainly sees himself as this among the other states as he feels that they play bloated, bureaucratic politics far too much instead of working together to help their father.

The Pessimist: Alaska physically can’t bring himself to hope in the best in people since all he’s seen was the worst in people since he was young when everyone he loved just ditched him or died. 

Raised by Wolves: Played completely straight. After his mother’s tribe abandoned him in the woods an Alpha She-Wolf who had just lost her pups adopted Alaska.

Socially Awkward Hero: Alaska can scale mountains, survive massive earthquakes, and survive on his own for years. However, the ability to interact with humans or even other anthropics is the hard part.

Strong Family Resemblance: Besides his dark skin, black hair, and eye shape, Alaska is basically a younger version of Russia. This has gotten him into quite a bit of trouble like when he was accused of being a communist during the McCarthy era due to his Russian heritage and Belarus has tried to kidnap him on more than one occasion.

Sugar-and-Ice Personality: In spite of cold, loner nature and dislike for society in general, Alaska at his core is a genuinely familial, protective person who just wants to take care of those he cares about. This is best showcased in his relationship with Hawaii, who might be the only person he openly gives affection to and he did go as Elsa twice just to make her happy even if it was embarrassing for him.

Trauma Conga Line: Abandoned, seen as a threat, had his pack murdered, only person he ended up caring about dying, and nearly froze to almost-death. All when he looked 2. Someone get this boy a therapists.

Used to Be a Sweet Kid: When he was young, Alaska was a sweet and gentle boy, even while living with his wolf pack. However, due to the many tragedies in his life, he has become extremely bitter and cynical towards the world.

When She Smiles: Has given a few in some comics and chats. He even admits that the main reason he loves Hawaii (as a sister) is that she is one of the few people who can make him give a genuine smile.

[catalinda04]

Carried Away Chapter 41: Oh Dany Girl

Masterlist

Lucy pressed a kiss to Henry’s forehead before leaving the next morning. The whole drive to school she smiled. Henry was here. They were together, for at least the next 3 months. While she was overjoyed to have him with her, there was a small part of her that was worried. Worried that, when there wasn’t the urgency of time, their chemistry would fizzle. She tried to bury that part deep where it couldn't surface without help.

    She parked in her customary spot at the school, just after Ryan and Mindy parked. Due to play practice she was not carpooling the month of January. She called a friendly good morning to her colleagues.

    “You’re in a good mood this morning.” Ryan commented falling into step next to her.

    “I am. I have a visitor. From the east. A British visitor.” She explained, her smile growing as she thought about Henry.

    “Really?” Ryan commented. “And how long is he here for?”

    “Until he’s needed for press for his latest movie in the middle of April.” She informed, her voice almost giddy.

    “Wow. What brought this on?” Ryan asked, holding the door for her.

    “We realized over christmas, that we don’t know each other very well, and that we need more time together. He doesn’t have any major projects, so here he is.”

    “Well, we’ll all have to get together sometime.”

    “I think we’d like that. Listen to me. We’d like that.” She emphasized the we in her response.

    “I’m glad to see you so happy.”

    “I’m glad to be so happy.” She smiled at him as they parted ways to their individual classrooms.

    The day passed without incident. It finally felt like the first normal day since school had re-started. Play practice followed without incident. The students were struggling with a section involving some large emotions students weren’t accustomed to. She made a note to work with the students involved in the scene.

    Driving home, she received a call from Henry. “Darling, are you ever coming home?”

    “I’m on my way now. I cut play practice short today. I should be there in about 20 minutes. I thought we could have supper then go to the grocery store, maybe find you some food for lunches.”

    “That sounds great, cupcake, but what play practice?” Henry asked, searching his memory for her mentioning a play.

    “My one-act play group. I’m sure I’ve mentioned it.”

    “I don’t think you have. I feel like I would remember something like that.” Henry insisted.

    “Oh! Well, I’ll explain it over supper then, see you soon. Love you.”

    “Love you too cupcake.” Henry disconnected his end of the call. He looked around the kitchen. Lucy had soup warming in a slow cooker for them. He might be useless in the kitchen, but even he could set a table. He found all of the appropriate dishes and cutlery. He searched for wine to accompany the meal, but was unable to find any. He made a mental note to ask Lucy where she hid her alcohol.

Lucy unlocked the back door of the house, and let herself in. “Honey, I’m home!” she called. Henry popped his head around the corner and smiled at her. Her face lit up upon seeing him. “Will this feeling ever fade?” she asked herself. This all-encompassing joy simply being in Henry’s presence. Logically she knew it must, but she hoped it never would.

Henry took her bag while she shrugged out of her heavy winter coat, before sweeping her into his arms for a welcome home kiss. “I missed you cupcake.” He said once he’d kissed his fill of her.

“I missed you too.” she smiled.

Lucy oohed over the table Henry set. She took milk out of the refrigerator and poured two glasses before sitting down. “I couldn't find any wine to go with the soup darling, where do you hide it?” Henry asked, serving himself some soup from the crock on the table.

“I don’t usually have wine around. I told you I don’t really drink during the school year. I’m usually so exhausted by the end of the day, that a drink usually just puts me to sleep.” she explained, starting to eat her soup.

“That would be a very good reason why I was unable to find any.” He laughed.

“Yes it would be.” she agreed. “I’ve decided, that I’m going to let you make the plans for this weekend. We’re going to meet your agent, so you get to make the plans. Just keep me in the loop, so i know if I need to pack an overnight bag or not.”

“You’re letting me make the plans? That’s a big step for you. Are you sure?” Henry asked reaching out to cover Lucy’s hand with his.

“I’m sure. Just please keep me in the loop. I need to know what’s going on, but I don’t need to always control what’s going on. It’s my New Year’s resolution, let go of control more often.”

“Well, darling, I’m impressed, and I will not let you down. I will make the arrangements tomorrow and let you know over dinner.”

“Thank you Darcy.” she smiled, leaning close to give him a peck on the lips.

Lucy spent the rest of the meal explaining to Henry what her One-Act Play group was about. He seemed intrigued, and impressed.

Friday night found Henry and Lucy driving to Minneapolis. Henry made reservations at the same hotel where they’d stayed in October, and Dany would be meeting them in their room around mid-afternoon, before all 3 of them went to dinner together.

Saturday morning, Lucy brought Henry first to REI to buy an actual winter coat. The one he’d brought with him was suitable for a London winter, but was woefully inadequate for a Minnesota winter. He added a pair of boots, snow pants (which he called ski trousers, causing her to giggle at him, and he giggled at her for calling them pants), a hat and gloves to his purchases.

Once Henry was properly outfitted for a Minnesota winter, they spent the next several hours at the Mall of America. Henry had never been and wanted to check it off of his list. Lucy actually enjoyed her trip to mall for the first time since she’d first gone in Jr. High. Going shopping with someone who had money was an entirely different experience than shopping with her friends. The stores that Lucy normally walked right past, treated them with reverence. Henry purchased several outfits that were a bit more cold weather friendly than his normal wardrobe. Thought the clothes looked mostly like what everyone else was wearing, Lucy almost choked when the cashier gave the total. He was spending more in one store on maybe 4 outfits than she would spend on clothes in the next 5 years. Henry just handed over his charge card without a blink.

They returned to the hotel for their meeting with Dany.

“Is this ok to meet your agent in?” Lucy asked, gesturing to her jeans and sweater.

“It’s fine darling. Dany will most likely look like a million pounds, because she doesn’t leave the house without at least 3 designer labels on, but this is what I’m wearing.” He indicated his own attire, similar to hers.

“What about dinner?”

“Dany made the reservations, but there will be time to change. I assure you. Now breathe. There’s no reason to be nervous.”

Lucy took several deep breaths, and sat on the sofa. At precisely 3:00, there was an authoritative knock on the door. Lucy stayed seated, while Henry went to answer the door.

Henry opened the door to find a muscular latina woman on the other side. “Dany how are you?” Henry said ushering her in.

“Henry, I’m frozen. You couldn’t have chosen to winter somewhere warmer, like Aruba? Do you know what the pilot said when we landed? The high today is 4. 4 degrees Henry!”

“At least it’s above zero.” Dany heard, from the sitting area, from a chubby brunette woman standing beside the couch, smoothing her jeans. The woman had a nervous smile on her face. This must be Lucy, she thought to herself.

“You must be Lucy. Hi, Dany Garcia. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.” She said extending her hand. Lucy took it and gave an assertive shake in return. Dany was impressed, the woman was obviously nervous, but could still stand up for herself.

Henry watched as his agent met his girlfriend. He could sense Lucy’s nerves, but could see very few of them. “Why don’t we all sit. Dany would you like something to drink?” Henry offered. “Darling?”

Both women asked for a glass of water, before sitting opposite each other across the coffee table. Henry left to get ice from the machine down the hall. When he came back he could hear the chattering of female voices, but couldn’t understand anything they were saying. They were speaking in Spanish.

Henry brought 3 glasses of water to the sofas, and sat beside Lucy. He didn’t know what they had been talking about, but she looked infinitely more relaxed. “You two look like you’ve made friends.” Henry said tentatively.

“She’s funny Henry. It’s hard to be funny in your second language.” Dany commented. “She was telling me her version of how you two met. It’s still an adorable story.” Dany smiled at the couple.

“Now, why don’t we get down to business. Lucy I have some forms for you to sign.” Dany said, retrieving a leather document folder from her bag.

“Forms? What kind of forms? For what?” Lucy asked confused.

“Nothing much, just your standard NDA, and some other forms required by the company.”

“NDA? What’s an NDA?”

“Non-disclosure Agreement.” Henry clarified without elaborating further.

“What am I not disclosing, and who am I not disclosing it to?” Lucy asked, her confusion mounting.

“Relax, it’s all very normal, standard A-list celebrity stuff. Henry is living with you. Henry has a couple of very big projects coming up. In order for the scripts to be first delivered to, and stored at, your house, you need to sign these stating that you won’t tell anyone about the scripts or anything you might read in them. These are very sensitive materials we’re talking about.” Dany explained.

“DC stuff.” Henry elaborated.

Understanding blossomed in Lucy’s eyes. “Ah. I get it. The big franchises are secretive.” Lucy said, taking the document. She read through all 3 pages. “Ok, so explain to me what I just read.” She looked at Dany.

Dany laughed. “It essentially says you agree not to talk about the scripts, or anything in the scripts and if you do, DC or it’s subsidiaries can sue you for everything you have.”

“Got it.” Lucy replied, signing her name where Dany indicated. “Anything else?”

“This form states that, should you and Henry choose to dissolve your relationship, you agree not to sell or post any pictures of Henry of a private nature. Henry has to sign that one too.”

Lucy looked at Henry, her eyebrows raised. “This seems wrong, signing something talking about our relationship ending, but I get it.” Lucy said, picking up the pen.

“You don’t have to sign it Lucy.” Henry said, stalling her hand.

“No, I’ll sign, it makes me feel better that you have to sign it too. I don’t think you’d ever do that, but it would be far more detrimental to my career than to yours if that ever happened. Not that I’d ever send you, or let you take those kinds of pictures.” Lucy said, signing her name to the form. Henry signed right after.

    Dany’s shoulders dropped. “Well, now that business has concluded. How are you doing?” The three talked in Lucy and Henry’s room for another hour, before Dany left to change for dinner.

    Dany made reservations at a steakhouse just around the corner from their hotel. Lucy enjoyed the meal immensely. She and Dany often switched to Spanish during their conversation, and Dany shared all kinds of stories of Henry. Lucy wondered why she had been nervous at all.

They all walked back to the hotel together. Henry and Lucy said goodbye to Dany at her floor. She hugged them both before walking back to her room. Entering her room, she sent Henry a text. “Approved. Try not to screw up with this one.” followed by an emoji with a big toothy grin.

Henry felt the buzz in his pocket, as he was unlocking the door to their suite. He read the message and smiled, before Lucy grabbed him by the tie to lead him back to the bedroom.

[ebhenah]

Sunkissed (Original Fiction)

Fictober 18 Day 16

Prompt: “This is gonna be so much fun!”

Original fiction, Original characters (a continuation of my Fictober Day 7 story: Uncharted, Day 8 story : Anchor and Day 13 story: Soulmates. This one featuring Spook and a new OC: Grift)

Rating: T Mentions of war, death, gun violence

 So, there were lots of things that sucked about being stranded in a new timeline, almost a decade before your own birth and staring down the early days of a war that you really hoped turned out differently this time around than your own history would suggest. Little things like being out of touch with pop culture, or not being able to find your favorite tool because it hasn’t been created yet, or craving a food no one knows how to make. Weird things like realizing the new baby that everyone is cooing over is your favorite babysitter from when you were six, or seeing vehicles you consider ‘classics’ being billed as the cutting edge of technology, or fixing your aunt her favorite drink only to have her choke on it, because it was the first time she’d ever tasted alcohol. Oops.

 There were big things, too. So few of the people she was meeting now were alive in her timeline, even though they were young and healthy. Her history knowledge told a story of a world that was wholly unprepared for the might of the invaders that came seemingly out of nowhere, attacked using technology they couldn’t even grasp, and operated under a moral view that was unfathomable to humans. Losses had been staggering, to say the least. The devastation unthinkable for anyone who hadn’t witnessed it for themselves. That’s what she and her family had been sent back to try to avoid. They’d done everything they were supposed to- and a bit more… but she was never supposed to stick around to see how those changes played out.

 In her childhood, the Earth had been teeming with alien life from across multiple galaxies, humans making up only a small portion of the population. The skies had been grey and dull, air quality poor except in areas where massive purification complexes filtered dust and other fallout from the air and water. It had been HOT, the destruction of hundreds of cities within the span of a few months too much for the planet to correct on its own and throwing ‘greenhouse effect’ into being almost overnight. Most of the surface was water, the majority of the rest was desert, and massive sandstorms raged outside of cities built under the protection of huge forcefields or physical domes- much of the population living underground or in orbit. Now, she was one of less than a thousand individuals with even partial alien heritage, and the Earth was green and lush and thriving. No air quality alerts, no radiation alarms, no food shortages. She was now getting to see the Earth that her family loved and spoke about. The Earth that so many people had died trying to protect.

 Sometimes, the weight of that gift got to her. People already thought she was the strange alien traveller, stranger even than the other aliens she had brought with her. It didn’t help that it had been decided it was best not to mention the whole ‘time travel’ thing and instead a cover story of being a science experiment that had been force-grown on a world that no longer exists and growing up in the resistance had been built for her. (Actually, it wasn’t even all that far off from the truth). She was seen as someone not to be trusted, despite being vouched for by the planets most celebrated heroes. Despite the knowledge she had offered them. That was alright. She was from a much more paranoid world than this one, so the mistrust didn’t really bother her much.

 But the odd looks when she would get overwhelmed by the little things she’d only ever heard about were frustrating. She wanted to scream and yell at them to appreciate it all, because it could still be lost. Her timeline might not be that different from this one, even with all the work they’d put into changing it.

 Seeing a butterfly was a MIRACLE. Swimming in the ocean was a GIFT. Being able to stand, on the Earth’s surface, and feel the sun kiss your skin, no need for breathing apparatus, no need for thick suits to protect the skin from being sanded off by the grit in the air, no need for heavy goggles that protected the eyes from pollution and radiation? Just your feet, on the ground; soft sunshine warming you; clean, salty spray from the nearby beach tickling your flesh; sweet smelling flowers wafting on the breeze? That was something out of a fairy story… and she was going to make the most of it every chance she got, dammit. And if people looked askance at her for it, well, they could stuff it.

 “So,” came an awkward voice from somewhere behind her. “When they said you were getting some sun down by the water… I wasn’t really expecting to find you naked…”

 She turned toward the newcomer, “you squeamish about nudity, Grift?” He was, by her math, maybe a year her senior at this point. Elite pilot, fast track for military leadership- a rising star by all accounts. In her memory, he was one of the highest ranking members of a military force that was getting younger and younger by the year as losses continued to mount. But he’d been on the front lines of the fighting since the very first assault, and not only had he survived, each and every one of his squadrons held some of the highest survival rates on the books. Smart. Talented. Responsible. Respected… and an arrogant asshole who CONSISTENTLY butted heads with her father and with the aliens that held the power to make tactical decisions. Not a particularly well-liked guy among her loved ones when she was growing up.

 She could see all those traits in him now, too, for all that he was younger, brasher, less worldly, more innocent. Green. He was also a xenophobe, which had surprised her, because the man she’d known ‘back home’ was not. Of course, by the time she’d been born, he’d had almost a decade of fighting side by side with aliens to rid him of any initial distrust.

 “That’s not my name,” he said, as he always did when she called him that. She was starting to wonder how long it would take him to clue in that the main reason she did it was BECAUSE it got to him. It seemed pretty obvious to her. He didn’t even know yet how much of an insult it actually was. Man, she could not WAIT until the Byx/Sieb made contact with the humans and he found out what ‘grift’ actually MEANT! “Not squeamish about it, no. Just wasn’t expecting to see you… without clothes in public at high noon. You immune to skin cancer or something?”

 She tipped her face up to the light, loving the way the sun tickled her markings. “I don’t actually know,” she answered, shrugging, “I’m not really used to worrying about things that might kill me in a few decades. Usually, I can barely keep up with the things that might kill me this week.”

 “Yeah, that makes a certain amount of sense,” he chuckled. “You don’t mind people staring?”

 “I’m purple, Grift. I’m purple with color-changing rosettes, pointy ears and sometimes my eyes glow… and I blush blue. I’m used to people staring.” She bent down to pull a pair of shorts and a tank top out of her bag, clearly her alone time was being cut short. “What’s going on?”

 “Word from on high,” he joked, referring to the tactical ships that were in orbit above them. “I’m supposed to test your firearm conflict competency. The new allies are pushing for you to get a security clearance with Earth’s military… even though you aren’t military.”

 “How are they justifying that?” she asked, slipping into the shorts, curious to see what loopholes the younger versions of her family were coming up with.

“Diplomat status,” he said dryly.

She stopped short, waistband sitting at mid-thigh, and gaped at him. “DIPLOMAT?!?!” she laughed, “me??? That’s rich. I suck with diplomacy.”

“Looks like we are in agreement on that front,” he answered.

She glared, tugging the shorts into place and getting to work on the button fly, “listen up, pretty boy- you are no better with people than I am, and you are WELL aware of that.”

“Pretty boy?” one of his eyebrows quirked, he seemed surprised that she’d said that.

“What? You have symmetrical features, good hair, are in good shape, high cheekbones, straight nose, full lips, delicate features… objectively, you are pretty- which you KNOW and have no qualms about exploiting. It wasn’t a compliment. I’m not swooning.”

“You don’t strike me as the type to swoon,” he said on a short bark of laughter.

“You don’t know me,” she reminded him, pulling on the tank top as she walked toward him, “I’m a notorious swooner. You’re just not my type.”

“Not a fan of pretty?” he teased.

“Big fan of pretty,” she replied, her eyes glowing a soft, warm yellow, “all kinds of pretty. Pretty hair, pretty eyes, pretty legs, pretty wings- annnd there you go. That face. The one you made when I said wings. That’s why you aren’t my type. It’s not about how you look, Grift. There’s something ugly in you. You’re pretty like Vokarin Crystal is pretty. Lovely to look at, but get too close, and it poisons you. I’m not human, and I can’t change that. So, I stay away from anyone who thinks that makes me some kind of monster. You can smile and charm, but I see that ugliness in you- just as easily as I see your pretty hair and perfect bone structure. It doesn’t blind me to the fact that you are VERY good at your job, though… so, how do we assess my firearm conflict competency?”

“There is a specific set of training scenarios you need to pass,” he answered, falling into step beside her as they walked back to the building, “all done with non-lethal munitions.”

She turned to him, a predatory smile stretching her lips, and she could feel her ears flatten back in anticipation of something that stirred her hunting instincts, “shoot’em’up sims? I love shoot’em’up sims!”

“Don’t get cocky,” he warned her, voice stern. “I’m the one you are facing off against, and I have HIGH standards.”

“Shoot’em’up sims against YOU?” she could feel her rosettes cycle through a few different colors in response to her shifting mood, “ohhhhh man! This is gonna be so much fun!”

[serve-the-people-clt]

OPPOSE RAPE APOLOGIA

For the past 2 months, Serve The People Charlotte has been on the receiving end of social media harassment, threatening messages, and accusations of transmisogyny (misogyny against trans women) and anti-Blackness (racism specifically against Black people/Blackness). Messages and posts to the STP-CLT Charlotte page started when a group of activists here in Charlotte saw that we were having our servings in Clanton Park. Our Facebook page was bombarded with accusatory questions and demands that we relocate from our current location. Their reasoning for demanding we move to another park is that a Black trans woman was attacked by community members in Clanton park, the same Black trans woman they are currently organizing around who has been accused of sexual contact with a 15-year-old. Harassment intensified when some Serve The People Charlotte volunteers who were previously involved decided to separate themselves from the activists supporting the accused and had questions about whether or not a she could be a rapist. The beef between Serve The People Charlotte and this group of activists is being portrayed as a conflict of personalities and a direct, petty, attack on a Black trans woman because we have our servings in the park where she was attacked in. To be honest, we did take her attack into account while choosing between Clanton or Wingate Neighborhood Park, and we had a feeling it would come to this, but we chose Clanton Park for solely logistical and political reasons. Clanton Park is larger, has covering from rain, a bigger playground, basketball courts, a community center, and a more frequent number of visitors than Wingate Neighborhood park. STP-CLT chose Clanton Park because we believe it’s more central to the community than any other park in the area. We didn’t choose our location to piss off or annoy a group of people we didn’t plan on working with anyway. Our choosing to not be involved with this group of activists is rooted in their current and active support of an accused rapist as well as the definition of rape. We firmly believe any sexual contact with a 15-year-old by someone in their mid-twenties is rape, while the group attacking us believe it is NOT rape. Statutory rape is often excused because of the belief that there is still a level of consent. We refuse to downplay the seriousness of statutory rape and the vulnerability of young teenagers in sexual situations. Adults have a responsibility to not engage in sexual activity with teens and children regardless if they feel “consent” has been given. Children cannot and will not ever be able to “consent” to sexual acts with an adult.   We aren’t able to identify this group of activists by name as they are not an official organization, and we are not interested in sending out personal attacks such as they have. We are coming from a political place only. This statement was not written to out people to police, therefore, we will not identify anyone by name. This is a political statement to make where we stand clear. With this background information being given, the rest of this statement is a direct response to the allegations against us stating that Serve The People Charlotte is anti-Black and transmisogynistic. “I have this identity so any criticism of me is an attack on my identity/identities” When people in the organizing community voiced questions, confusion, and concerns about the support of someone being accused of sexual contact with a minor, they were met with “Trust Black trans women!” “You hate Black trans women!” and “This is anti-Blackness!” Trusting Black trans women, not hating Black trans women, and recognizing anti-Blackness are good ideas and direct responses to the oppression black trans women face. However, they are weaponizing this to shield from the accusation of rape and criticism of rape apologia. This group has continually said that their politics and political work are centered around the most oppressed and exploited and that defending them at all cost is liberation work. They claim they combat all forms of anti-Blackness on the spot and at every corner. This sounds great in theory but was completely misapplied in the case of the person they are shielding from criticism. The person accused of sexually assaulting a minor is a Black trans woman and the minor who was assaulted is a cis (not trans) Black boy. When age was mentioned in reservations about supporting a statutory rapist the rebuttal was an emphasis on gender using reasonings such as “He’s a cis man and she’s a Black trans woman so the power dynamic is different” all the while ignoring the fundamental difference between them: age. What we found contradictory in their reasoning was the inherent anti-Blackness of not issuing a young Black boy childhood and the painting of HIM as the predator and not the adult in the situation. How many times have we seen on the news young Black kids being described as big, scary, and adults instead of children? When has it ever been the correct idea to combat anti-Blackness against one Black person by using anti-Black narratives against another? An adult is an adult regardless of race, gender, etc. Adults should be held responsible for their actions and shouldn’t be able to pass off blame to younger people with “Well they look older, they act older, I didn’t know their age, etc.” It’s the responsibility of the adult to question how old somebody is before engaging in risky (drug use or drinking alcohol for example) or sexual activity with someone who could possibly be a minor. At what point do we consider a teenager “grown?” This is the perfect opportunity for them to paint a teenager as capable of consent because it removes all responsibility from the adult in the situation. This group’s entire political platform is centered around a person accused of sexual assault and rooted in guilting people into giving monetary support to her. Another way they use identity politics is by them guilting white people, non-Black people, cis people, and people they deem as cis passing (people they deem as not “looking” trans) into giving them money and into supporting a person accused of rape because anybody who asks questions is labeled anti-Black and trans misogynistic. This is usually followed up by call out posts on social media and being pushed out of activist spaces. They ostracize people for not being radical enough by their standards all while operating as liberals, taking on whatever politics work for their benefit in the moment. We’ve seen this by their use of the phrase “trust Black trans women” as a rallying point when they only mean the black trans women they choose. They proved this to be true when they told the community not to trust the Black trans woman who outed the accused for being a rapist, painting her as neurotic, crazy, and untrustworthy. These are all clear examples of their identity opportunism, picking and choosing where and when identity matters, as an opportunity for political gain. There’s more inconsistencies with the narrative the group accusing us of being anti-Black and transmisogynistic is pushing out. Every time this group organizes an event around the accused person they say she’s facing years in prison “for being a Black trans woman” and for being the victim of a hate crime. What her charges are and what she’s being accused of are never actually mentioned. When anybody brings this up (not just members of STP-CLT) people are accused of believing the State (cops, the court system, etc.) over a Black trans woman. The fact of the matter is, the accusation that she engaged in sexual activity with a minor didn’t just come from police. The initial accusation came from the victim and his family, leading up to her assault. We are trusting members of the community over the police and we always will. She wasn’t attacked in a completely random hate crime, she was attacked by family members AND the boy she is accused of having sexual contact with. Her attack was a direct response to her relationship with the 15-year-old boy. This, however, is almost never mentioned and the story of what happened is always changing. It would be naïve, fake, and opportunistic for us to say that her being a Black trans woman played no role in her attack. There’s a strong possibility that had she been white, cis, or a man the response would have been drastically different. However, our response shouldn’t be ignoring that she’s accused of rape just because other people can get away with it easier. In times of HB2, a bill that criminalizes trans women, painting them as “men in dresses” that want to sexually prey on children, and at a time where Black trans women are being murdered at high rates, we understand the need for Black trans women to be seen as human, worthy of respect and life. But giving someone, humanity means being able to see them as a whole person, not a romanticized version we’ve created in response to a demonized one. For example, Black and brown men are portrayed in the media as violent and nobody can forget Trumps comments about Mexican being rapists. Fighting this with ‘Black and Brown men can’t be rapists!” misses the point. It ignores the sexual violence so many people in our communities’ deal with by others from the same community. Sexual assault victims in marginalized communities have been silenced because the person who assaulted them faces oppression too. They’re told it will “make us all look bad” or play into stereotypes. (See Bill Cosby, R. Kelly, and Chris Brown for example.) Serve The People Charlotte is refusing to prioritize image over people’s safety. People aren’t rapists because of what communities they come from. There’s rapists in all communities, it’s our job to isolate and out them to keep people safe. Our accusations of anti-Blackness and transmisogyny don’t come from us being anti-Black and transmisogynistic, they come from us not supporting someone accused of rape. At least 15 trans woman have been killed in 2017, an overwhelmingly majority being Black (one being a Black trans woman killed here in charlotte, Sherell Faulkner May 16th.) Most trans women aren’t killed by police, but by members of our own communities. That’s why it’s so important we unite our communities to protect each other and hold each other accountable. Transphobic and anti-Black ideas are present throughout all communities and that’s why we won’t ignore how her being a Black trans woman has affected her attack. The group accusing us says they think Serve The People Charlotte wants to see a Black trans woman in prison. We want the accused person to be held accountable for their actions, and that’s something this group is not doing, with or without a jail involved. Most rapists never see jail time, it’s obvious that we can’t rely on the police or the court system to deliver justice. But what does community/people’s justice look like? What does protecting our community without state power look like? If we’re not going to send rapists to prison then we must at least remove them from our communities and divest ourselves from their support systems. Serve The People Charlotte is doing this by not supporting or attending events organized around her and by keeping her out of our spaces. The only way we would unite with the group of activists making these accusations would be is if they were to join in isolating the accused person they are supporting from any communities they are involved in. Rapists and people who have a history of perpetuating sexual violence and their supporters must be isolated from political organizing communities because they are not spaces to find new people to abuse. The masses must be protected from rapists because rape is an anti-people crime.

[kalymna]

Fantasy Lesbian Romance Novel Review Corner Extravaganza

so i’ve been reading a lot of lesbian fantasy romance novels! i always knew they were a thing that existed but upon just picking one up lately i haven’t been able to get enough so i’ve gone through quite a few. if you are a fan of swords, sorcery, and girls kissing girls, you might be interested in some of these too! 

i’m going to give my thoughts about the ones i’ve read, and also mention how much homophobia exists in the book and how relevant it is to the plot, since i know people have varying feelings about that kind of thing. 

i’ll put a cut here for kindness, so people don’t have to scroll forever. let’s begin!

Dragonoak by Sam Farren (Amazon: books 1, 2, 3) this is where it all began for me (thanks @d-medusa for the Sick Rec) and it’s pretty much the pinnacle of the genre for me thus far. it stands out hard because the vast majority of characters (and there are a lot of them) are gay women. there are several important non-binary characters, a handful of trans women, and best of all, no one ever comments on any of the above. ever. at all. it’s just a very gay setting and no one questions it, no one argues, it’s just How Shit Is. beyond that appeal, there’s a lot of fun fantasy shit: kingdoms and queens, dragons and necromancers, pirates and political intrigue, and it’s just a really great, fun time. i could not recommend these books any more highly than i already am. book 1 is admittedly a little slow/scattered, and if you can’t cling to the budding romance taking center stage, you might have some trouble with it; things pick up hard in the latter books, however. please give them a try! Homophobia Content: none. literally none. zero. no transphobia either.

When Women Were Warriors by Catherine Wilson (Amazon: books 1, 2, 3) these are not exactly fantasy as such, but they’re very much in the same vein. old-style, bands of female warriors, warring tribes, all that kind of thing, just without magic or anything supernatural. a touching if extremely straightforward tale of a girl become a warrior’s apprentice, falling in love with that warrior, undergoing trials, proving herself, et cetera. i might be making this sound sorta bland, and parts of it are, but there’s enough solid girl-love to carry you through. high points include a lot of allegorical stories inserted into the text here and there, low points include the most Hemingway-style writing i’ve seen outside of Hemingway himself.  Homophobia Content: none at all; romances between women are expected and encouraged.

Lyremouth Chronicles by Jane Fletcher (Amazon: books 1, 2, 3, 4) oh boy, Jane Fletcher. i really dug this and her other series (detailed below), but man, once you’ve read one of her books, you’ve read them all; she has a very definitive style and she sticks to it hard. whether or not that style works for you may vary, but it hit with me really hard. these four books detail one specific couple, an exiled warrior and a budding sorcerer, and the adventures they have in the world. i ADORED these two characters, their consistently strong romance, and i was extremely sad to finally see their story end; both of them are extremely flawed, both have a great deal of depth, and they complement each other very well. i love the explorations of magic that permeate all four books, i love the world, just a great frickin time all around. Homophoba Content: ehhhh, there’s definitely some, and while it’s limited to the first portion of the first book, that section is fucking brutal if you don’t like homophobia in your books. once it’s past, though, the rest is totally free of that kind of thing.

Celaeno by Jane Fletcher (Amazon: books 1, 2, 3, 4, 5) not exactly fantasy, again, but not super far from it either. this was interesting initially because there are literally zero characters not only in the series, but in existence in the world, and if you’re shallow about your lesbian fantasy like i am, that is absolutely a good thing. unlike Lyremouth, however, which was pretty steady in quality all throughout, these vary hugely; i found myself less and less interested as the series progressed. each focuses on a different couple, and each have a very different level of stakes. in a world dominated by a religious order, some women become heretics and seek to eke out their own existence, even while hunted down by said religious order; an interesting enough backdrop, but some of the books (3 and 5, specifically) are just so low-stakes (solving an individual murder, talking a lot about sheep theft, respectively) that even the romance can’t carry them. book 2 is by far the best with the deepest characters, so read the first two and then stop there, imo. Homophobia Content: as mentioned, no men exist in this world, so homophobia as a concept simply doesn’t exist.

Adijan and her Genie by L-J Baker (Amazon; sadly, they don’t seem to carry an ebook version) super fun individual novel, in a fictionalized middle eastern setting; i can say pretty thoroughly that it didn’t go the way i expected it to whatsoever, in a good way, but i absolutely HATED the protagonist for constantly making the worst decisions possible over and over. an desperate alcoholic seeks to eke out a living for herself and her wife, loses her wife, gains a genie, and proceeds to continue to make terrible decisions constantly until things just kind of work out for her. as much as i hated the protagonist, the rest of the characters were interesting enough, as was the core romance. still recommended, if you can get your hands on a copy. Homophobia Content: peppered throughout; the genie of the title is exceptionally homophobic, though (surprise) she relents by the end.

Lady Knight by L-J Baker (Amazon) another of my top favorites, we watch the world’s sole lady knight as she faces constant sexism and discrimination, falls in love, faces constant homophobia and her lover forcibly married away from her, general sadness and ill tidings abound. by and large, it’s a tragedy, but the characters (especially the protagonist) are extremely excellent, relatable, and well written. the constant sexism (however realistic it may unfortunately be) definitely wears at you, but it’s worth going through. Homophobia Content: oh my god there’s so much and it never ends. sexism too; if you can’t handle them, avoid. 

The Pyramid Waltz by Barbara Ann Wright (Amazon) oh my god there’s like three sequels to this? i just found out when i went to get that link, holy shit i’m so excited now. anyway apparently i only read book 1 of a four book series, but book 1 was really fucking great! standard fantasy setting, romance between a princess and an exotic visitor, political intrigue and murder, you get the idea. really fucking cool details, though, like that magic is performed through little pyramid-shaped objects; they go to a lot of detail about it and how it all works and it clicked with me pretty well. the main couple were great, but the side characters vary in depth and interest. overall, recommended, i’m gonna go buy the other three right fucking now and binge on them. later. Homophobia Content: none that i can recall, at least in the first book. the princess is very gay and no one ever questions it.

[centuryassociates]

Oregon Cannabis: 2019 Legislative Forecast and Report

The Oregon legislature has been grappling with cannabis for five consecutive years. Talking with those in Salem trenches, one senses some fatigue. At this point, over a month into the 2019 session, a preponderance of legislators appear vaguely inclined to “let it ride” and drop the big ideas when it comes to cannabis. This means we are unlikely to see a full-scale merger of the medical and recreational cannabis programs in 2019 (too bad), and that most of the legislation will be maintenance oriented and reactive.

How did we get here? When Oregon representatives first met in 2015 to codify Measure 91, there was tremendous buzz. The Joint Committee on Marijuana Regulation was convened, and for three consecutive sessions (two long ones and a shorty) Oregon passed bill after bill (after bill) to stage and shepherd its cannabis programs. Following the 2017 session, however, the Joint Committee was dissolved, on the inclination that Salem would start treating cannabis more like a standard policy issue. The 2018 short session therefore saw comparatively limited action, consisting principally of a non-emergency gut-and-stuff marijuana bill, and an omnibus hemp bill to build out that program.

Today, we are aware of just two marijuana lobbyists in Salem, down from 25 or so in 2015, and a dozen or more just two years ago. Some of the trade groups have gone quiet or faded away entirely. Fortunately, legislators like Floyd Prozanski, Ken Helm and Julie Fahey remain with their extensive experience on cannabis policy, and Governor Kate Brown is still here to sign all the bills (she has never vetoed a cannabis bill). All in all, though, there is less energy and probably less expertise for this stuff than before.

Still, industry watchers should still expect a few noteworthy developments in the coming months, after committee work is done. Some of these laws will arise out of necessity, such as to accommodate the 2018 Farm Bill. Some may be out of near necessity, such as addressing oversupply in the OLCC system. And anything else would be either housekeeping or progressive new laws, like social consumption framework, or protecting employees for off-work consumption.

Today, there are 22 or so early-session bills on any number of cannabis issues, kicking around committee. It’s probably not worth getting too granular or even excited about the bills before crossover day, which is the date at which bills die if they haven’t moved out of their respective committees of origin to the floor (or to another procedural or joint committee). Legislation that crosses over and passes into law will likely look different—perhaps drastically so—than currently drafted. Crossover day happens in a couple of weeks.

Given the foregoing, this blog post is not going to examine the draft bills in detail (if you’re interested in doing that yourself, they are available here). Instead, I’m going to outline a few topics getting some discussion, and a few others with a shot at clearing committee and becoming actual laws.

Hemp. There’s almost nothing filed on hemp right now. The sole, skinny bill is HB 2740, a placeholder establishing an Oregon Industrial Hemp Commission and not much more. Rest assured, though: there will be more. Oregon must shape its hemp program for certification to the federal Department of Agriculture as per the 2018 Farm Bill, which will take some preparation by the legislature to ensure that Congressional guidelines for hemp economy states are met. Drafting is happening as we speak, and we expect a fuller hemp bill to pass this session.

Limits on Marijuana Production.  There is too much marijuana in Oregon, inside and outside of the state-sanctioned systems. This was the finding of the Oregon State Police Report, the HIDTA Report, the recent Secretary of State Audit, the recent OLCC Report to the Legislature and probably anyone who has spent a little time on the back roads of Jackson or Josephine County.

In a recent blog post, I mentioned that Governor Brown recently weighed in on this vexing issue, requesting a pre-session filing of Senate Bill 218, which would allow the OLCC to refuse to issue marijuana production licenses “based on market demand and other relevant factors.” This would give legislative backing to the slow-walk OLCC already has commenced on license curtailment. Will the Governor’s skeletal proposal stick as written? It seems unlikely. The big consideration here is how (and not “if”) the legislature will protect those who have already invested resources into an application. OLCC may also push back on the Governor’s approach, and request that the legislature take care of any moratorium itself, rather than delegate this problematic task. All in all, though, the smart money says a cap on production is coming. The theory is that processors, wholesalers and retailers are already self-sorting in the free market, but production needs guardrails. Cut off the head of the snake.

Interstate Compact and Sales.  This relates to oversupply, and kudos to Adam Smith and the Craft Cannabis Alliance for pushing the exchange idea so hard for so long. But are we going to see licensed marijuana export anytime soon? Probably not. The legislature could start down the path, though, by adopting suggestions and language from this issue’s work group, which seems to have traction. If we get legislation, it will likely be a gut and stuff of Prozanski’s pre-session filed SB 582. There are two big questions here. The first is the scope of whom is allowed to export and import, with possible consensus consolidating around “almost everyone”– licensed producers, processors, wholesalers and retailers. Another big question is: what will the “trigger” look like, allowing these sales to commence. For example, will sales be allowed if and when Congress re- or deschedules? Or when we get another federal tolerance memo? Technically, Governor Brown could enter into an interstate compact at any time, but if sales commenced before the federal door opened significantly, Billy Williams has pledged to shut it down. This means that any bill we get on export will be to tee things up and nothing more.

Social Consumption.  Every year, we see social consumption bills. Every year they fail. Typically, these bills are overbroad in that they seek to legalize cannabis cafes and indoor smoking lounges, which would require an exemption to the Oregon Clean Indoor Air Act (that law is slowly phasing out a few grandfathered cigar bars and smoke shops). Do Oregonians want to return to the days where employees and others sit in rooms filled with haze and smoke? Although there are compelling arguments to be made in support of populations who live in Section 8 housing, tourists, etc. (some of which were made in yesterday morning’s hearing), we don’t see it happening. This means the two bills on tap, SB 639 and HB 2233, probably need excision of the lounge licensing concept if they are to advance. Permits for temporary (outdoor) events, on the other hand, might have legs as long as alcohol isn’t present. The public tours for cannabis businesses contained in both bills could definitely work. All in all, chances are probably 50-50 that some version of one of these bills passes.

Local Grow Tax.  You can find this concept enshrined in HB 2382, which would allow for county taxation on both recreational and medical production, based on canopy size. This bill is a natural extension of the Southern Oregon Marijuana Initiative, a logic model produced by the estimable Rob Bovett at the Association of Oregon Counties. It is probably dead as written: industry will step on this hard. This means that additional tax revenues to counties would need need to come through reallocation, which means that the Joint Committee on Ways and Means must be convinced to move $30 million or so from the General Fund to various localities. Not happening.

Off-Work Use.  This should have happened already. Let’s hope Oregon gets it right in 2019, so that cannabis consumers are treated like alcohol consumers, and patients have access to medicine without fear of job loss. The hope is that HB 2655 crosses over and the legislature looks at reasonable carve-outs for safety and employers reliant on federal grants. It needs to get done.

We will keep you posted with insights and developments on the current session as things move ahead. Until then, if you’re interested in learning how we got here, below is an archive of “round up” posts on the Oregon marijuana legislation going back to 2015.

Oregon’s New Marijuana Laws: The Last Word on the 2015 Legislative Session

Oregon Opens Its Cannabis Industry to Non-Residents (2016)

Oregon Marijuana: The Banking Bill (2016)

Oregon Cannabis: The Merger of Recreational and Medical Has Begun (2016)

Oregon Marijuana: Many More Changes with the Christmas Tree Bill (2016)

Oregon’s 2017 Cannabis Laws: The Definitive List

Oregon’s New 2018 Cannabis Laws

Oregon Cannabis: 2019 Legislative Forecast and Report posted first on https://centuryassociates.blogspot.com/

[jodieshazel]

Oregon Cannabis: 2019 Legislative Forecast and Report

The Oregon legislature has been grappling with cannabis for five consecutive years. Talking with those in Salem trenches, one senses some fatigue. At this point, over a month into the 2019 session, a preponderance of legislators appear vaguely inclined to “let it ride” and drop the big ideas when it comes to cannabis. This means we are unlikely to see a full-scale merger of the medical and recreational cannabis programs in 2019 (too bad), and that most of the legislation will be maintenance oriented and reactive.

How did we get here? When Oregon representatives first met in 2015 to codify Measure 91, there was tremendous buzz. The Joint Committee on Marijuana Regulation was convened, and for three consecutive sessions (two long ones and a shorty) Oregon passed bill after bill (after bill) to stage and shepherd its cannabis programs. Following the 2017 session, however, the Joint Committee was dissolved, on the inclination that Salem would start treating cannabis more like a standard policy issue. The 2018 short session therefore saw comparatively limited action, consisting principally of a non-emergency gut-and-stuff marijuana bill, and an omnibus hemp bill to build out that program.

Today, we are aware of just two marijuana lobbyists in Salem, down from 25 or so in 2015, and a dozen or more just two years ago. Some of the trade groups have gone quiet or faded away entirely. Fortunately, legislators like Floyd Prozanski, Ken Helm and Julie Fahey remain with their extensive experience on cannabis policy, and Governor Kate Brown is still here to sign all the bills (she has never vetoed a cannabis bill). All in all, though, there is less energy and probably less expertise for this stuff than before.

Still, industry watchers should still expect a few noteworthy developments in the coming months, after committee work is done. Some of these laws will arise out of necessity (such as to accommodate the 2018 Farm Bill). Some may be out of near necessity (such as addressing oversupply in the OLCC system). And anything else would be either housekeeping or progressive new laws, like a social consumption framework, or protecting employees for off-work consumption.

Today, there is are 22 or so early-session bills on any number of cannabis issues, kicking around committee. It’s probably not worth getting too granular or even excited about the bills before crossover day, which is the date at which bills die if they haven’t moved out of their respective committees of origin to the floor (or to another procedural or joint committee). Legislation that crosses over and passes into law will likely look different—perhaps drastically so—than currently drafted. Crossover day happens in a couple of weeks.

Given the foregoing, this blog post is not going to examine the draft bills in detail (if you’re interested in doing that yourself, they are available here). Instead, I’m going to outline a few topics getting some discussion, and a few others with a shot at clearing committee and becoming actual laws.

Hemp. There’s almost nothing filed on hemp right now. The sole, skinny bill is HB 2740, a placeholder establishing an Oregon Industrial Hemp Commission and not much more. Rest assured, though: there will be more. Oregon must shape its hemp program for certification to the federal Department of Agriculture as per the 2018 Farm Bill, which will take some preparation by the legislature to ensure that Congressional guidelines for hemp economy states are met. Drafting is happening as we speak, and we expect a fuller hemp bill to pass this session.

Limits on Marijuana Production.  There is too much marijuana in Oregon, inside and outside of the state-sanctioned systems. This was the finding of the Oregon State Police Report, the HIDTA Report, the recent Secretary of State Audit, the recent OLCC Report to the Legislature and probably anyone who has spent a little time on the back roads of Jackson or Josephine County.

In a recent blog post, I mentioned that Governor Brown recently weighed in on this vexing issue, requesting a pre-session filing of Senate Bill 218, which would allow the OLCC to refuse to issue marijuana production licenses “based on market demand and other relevant factors.” This would give legislative backing to the slow-walk OLCC already has commenced on license curtailment. Will the Governor’s skeletal proposal stick as written? It seems unlikely. The big consideration here is how (and not “if”) the legislature will protect those who have already invested resources into an application. OLCC may also push back on the Governor’s approach, and request that the legislature take care of any moratorium itself, rather than delegate this problematic task. All in all, though, the smart money says a cap on production is coming. The theory is that processors, wholesalers and retailers are already self-sorting in the free market, but production needs guardrails. Cut off the head of the snake.

Social Consumption.  Every year, we see social consumption bills. Every year they fail. Typically, these bills are overbroad in that they seek to legalize cannabis cafes and indoor smoking lounges, which would require an exemption to the Oregon Clean Indoor Air Act (that law is slowly phasing out a few grandfathered cigar bars and smoke shops). Do Oregonians want to return to the days where employees and others sit in rooms filled with haze and smoke? Although there are compelling arguments to be made in support of populations who live in Section 8 housing, tourists, etc. (some of which were made in yesterday morning’s hearing), we don’t see it happening. This means the two bills on tap, SB 639 and HB 2233, probably need excision of the lounge licensing concept if they are to advance. Permits for temporary (outdoor) events, on the other hand, might have legs as long as alcohol isn’t present. The public tours for cannabis businesses contained in both bills could definitely work. All in all, chances are probably 50-50 that some version of one of these bills passes.

Local Grow Tax.  You can find this concept enshrined in HB 2382, which would allow for county taxation on both recreational and medical production, based on canopy size. This bill is a natural extension of the Southern Oregon Marijuana Initiative, a logic model produced by the estimable Rob Bovett at the Association of Oregon Counties. It is probably dead as written: industry will step on this hard. This means that additional tax revenues to counties would need need to come through reallocation, which means that the Joint Committee on Ways and Means must be convinced to move $30 million or so from the General Fund to various localities. Not happening.

Interstate Compact.  Kudos to Adam Smith and the Craft Cannabis Alliance for pushing the exchange idea so hard for so long. But are we going to see licensed marijuana export anytime soon? Probably not. The legislature could start down the path, though, by adopting suggestions and language from this issue’s work group, which seems to have traction. If we get legislation, it will likely be a gut and stuff of Prozanski’s pre-session filed SB 582. There are two big questions here. The first is the scope of whom is allowed to export and import, with possible consensus consolidating around “almost everyone”– licensed producers, processors, wholesalers and retailers. Another big question is: what will the “trigger” look like, allowing these sales to commence. For example, will sales be allowed if and when Congress re- or deschedules? Or when we get another federal tolerance memo? Technically, Governor Brown could enter into an interstate compact at any time, but if sales commenced before the federal door opened significantly, Billy Williams has pledged to shut it down. This means that any bill we get on export will be to tee things up and nothing more

Off-Work Use.  This should have happened already. Let’s hope Oregon gets it right in 2019, so that cannabis consumers are treated like alcohol consumers, and patients have access to medicine without fear of job loss. The hope is that HB 2655 crosses over and the legislature looks at reasonable carve-outs for safety and employers reliant on federal grants. It needs to get done.

We will keep you posted with insights and developments on the current session as things move ahead. Until then, if you’re interested in learning how we got here, below is an archive of “round up” posts on the Oregon marijuana legislation going back to 2015.

Oregon’s New Marijuana Laws: The Last Word on the 2015 Legislative Session

Oregon Opens Its Cannabis Industry to Non-Residents (2016)

Oregon Marijuana: The Banking Bill (2016)

Oregon Cannabis: The Merger of Recreational and Medical Has Begun (2016)

Oregon Marijuana: Many More Changes with the Christmas Tree Bill (2016)

Oregon’s 2017 Cannabis Laws: The Definitive List

Oregon’s New 2018 Cannabis Laws

from Canna Law Blog™ https://www.cannalawblog.com/oregon-cannabis-2019-legislative-report-and-forecast/

[musemash]

Images from The Fellowship Of The Ring, courtesy of New Line Cinema

THE LORD OF THE RINGS is a vast tapestry combining huge events, gripping conflict, intense emotions, and timeless themes of heroism, temptation, romance, sacrifice and redemption. Peter Jackson's epic production still stands as the greatest fantasy in film history. The final part of the trilogy was released 15 years ago today; and so in honor of this auspicious occasion, Multi Facet Fables presents David D. Fowler's extended appreciation of this fantasy masterpiece.

This piece was written in 2005, after the release of the trilogy's final Extended Edition, and then updated after the release of The Hobbit. Rather than assessing the original trilogy as three separate films, as most reviewers have done, this evaluation explores how well it succeeds in telling one continuous, self-contained story. The critique is presented in three parts; and to enhance your appreciation of the film, at the end you will also find our Appendices, featuring an archive of Rings-related videos.

ARWEN’S CHOICE, GRIMA’S TEAR  – part 1

Jackson’s Christian Vision

Yea, now that the dust of Mount Doom has long settled upon the plains of Mordor, and the Dark Lord’s dire shadow has verily been banished from the big screens of Middle-Earth lo these many years, we must needs contemplate anew the fall of the tyrant Sauron in our home palantirs.

“This tale grew in the telling,” J.R.R. Tolkien famously wrote in the foreword of The Lord Of The Rings, the centerpiece of his Middle-Earth saga. In director Peter Jackson’s hands, Tolkien’s tale has grown into a vision beyond all expectations. This becomes clearer the more one views Jackson’s marvelous extended editions of his Rings trilogy.  

Many have reviewed the individual installments of the theatrical film, of course; and there have been reviews of the extended DVDs – but nothing terribly in-depth, it would seem. Generally, the components of the trilogy have been evaluated as separate works. I have seen dozens of articles on the subject, but have never encountered any detailed evaluations of how the movie as a whole holds up, considered as a single entity. This is one attempt to answer that question. I have also chosen to emphasize the film’s spiritual qualities, which are myriad. The film is rife with Christian mythology and symbolism – which, as I will establish later, appears to be quite intentional.  

Christian Critics  

The Lord Of The Rings has rightly been extolled by Christian reviewers such as Steven D. Greydanus of Decent Films, and Sister Rose Pacatte of Sister Rose Movies. Many have showed some real appreciation of what Jackson has accomplished. However, it seems to me that most Christian critics have only scratched the surface of this film’s implicitly biblical content; they have focused on obvious elements, such as self-sacrifice and the struggle against evil.  

Several of those who have delved a little deeper have found the film spiritually wanting to some degree or other – generally concluding that, because the film’s makers are not known to be believers, therefore they had only limited understanding of the book’s Christian content. But if Jackson and co-scripters Frances Walsh and Philippa Boyens are indeed not Christians, it is verging on the miraculous that they caught so much of the book’s spiritual content – and, dare I say it, even improved upon Tolkien in some places.  

Would the Bible-thumping naysayers have preferred that only card-carrying Christians be allowed to adapt Tolkien’s sacred ‘textus receptus’? This massive production got precisely what it needed: supremely imaginative filmmakers. If it had been left to merely ‘Christian’ filmmakers, who among that exalted coterie could have pulled off this trilogy? Mel Gibson, perhaps? Too dogmatic, and way too much baggage. Wim Wenders? Promising, but his style’s a tad too introspective. Andrei Tarkovsky? Unfortunately, he’s dead – but the possibilities boggle the mind, nonetheless. The Left Behind guys? Fuggeddaboudit!  

Non-Biblical Behavior

I don’t wanna scare ya, kiddies, but imagine for a moment a Rings trilogy done as a Ted Baehr-approved production. Keep in mind that Care-Baehr’s online Movieguide very kindly alerts good little Christians about all manner of immoral, non-biblical behavior lurking at the local cineplex; and also take note that their review of Jackson’s movie warned the born-again public to watch out for such things as the film’s “implied alcohol consumption”.

If the Baehr-brains had produced a film consistent with their peculiar creed, we would’ve had hobbits bereft of pipeweed (the devil’s playground!); a moratorium on pubs (be not drunk with ale!); no silly songs (idle foolishness!); no garrulous dwarves (coarse jesting!); no prophetic intonations from Galadriel (occult divination!); no haughty elves (spiritual pride!); no talking trees (substance abuse!); and no resurrection of Gandalf (implied offscreen nudity!). Oh – and no, um, sorcery (!!!!!). But I digress.  

No-Budget  

Jackson’s earliest films give no indication of the greatness to come. The New Zealand auteur started with a no-budget, moronic alien invasion flick, Bad Taste (1987), which more than lived up to its name. He progressed (so to speak) to Meet The Feebles (1989), an over-the-top Muppet Show satire starring extremely  naughty puppets; and outdid himself with the zombie fest, Braindead (1993), aka Dead Alive – touted as the goriest film of all time. Fortunately, he developed ambitions to move beyond such limited fare.  

In 1994, by now partnered artistically (and domestically) with Fran Walsh, Jackson produced the superb Heavenly Creatures. Based on a notorious 1950s New Zealand murder case, it was an extraordinary depiction of two troubled teenage girls ­– who created a bizarre fantasy world, which spiraled out of control. This was followed by Forgotten Silver (1995), a brilliant ‘mockumentary’ about a mythical pioneer of New Zealand’s film industry; and The Frighteners (1996) a skillful horror/comedy with state-of-the-art special effects.

Jackson had proven his artistic credentials, but had never had a hit. To their everlasting credit, the New Line Cinema executives took a big chance by accepting his proposal to direct Tolkien’s classic; the result, by any standards, is an unprecedented epic, dwarfing (sorry) all previous fantasy films. While I wouldn’t go so far as to call Jackson a visionary, it is clear that he has taken Tolkien’s phenomenal vision and truly worked wonders with it. Viewing the complete extended edition, we can fully appreciate the scope of his achievement; and thanks to the various DVD documentary extras, we can also marvel at the sheer magnitude of this production.

No Sequels  

Before I proceed further, a minor point must be stressed. Some critics still insist on referring to the Rings Trilogy as a three-hour hit movie (The Fellowship Of The Ring) plus two sequels (The Two Towers and The Return Of The King). They forget that Tolkien never intended the story to be split up; that was the publisher’s idea. While some reviewers have evaluated the individual theatrical films in detail, most assessments of the extended versions have amounted to little more than laundry lists of the extra scenes; the films have generally been appreciated as separate entities, but not as parts of a whole.  

This is unfortunate, considering that The Lord Of The Rings is one of the most important films ever made; it deserves to be evaluated as the director intended it: as one single, self-contained tapestry. Jackson has emphasized that he considers it one cohesive story, in three acts. This is how I am approaching the film in this critique; I am also writing for those who are at least familiar with the theatrical version (otherwise, beware of spoilers!)  

Minor Flaws  

Jackson’s film has its flaws. There are a few redundancies, such as the several mentions of Bilbo’s book title; and some inconsistencies – as when Merry and Eowyn, who are supposed to be hiding their presence in the army from Theoden and Eomer, hang out casually with the other soldiers without making any effort to cover their faces. There are also some unnecessary scenes, such as the ‘drinking game’ between Legolas and Gimli; and speaking of well-tossed dwarves, Gimli is used too often for comic relief. The killing contests between Leggy and Gimli are played for laughs, as are a few too many other moments in battle scenes.  

In one improbable sequence, two guards fail to notice a clumsy and noisy Pippin spilling oil as he attempts to light the Minas Tirith beacon. There is also at least one glaring continuity error: the magic disappearing barrels in Faramir’s cave hideout. You see the barrels behind Frodo and Sam for several shots; but when Faramir enters to interrogate them, the barrels are nowhere to be seen. (Now, whenever I see Sam urging the Ring Bearer to “disappear” moments before Faramir’s entrance, I keep thinking all Frodo needs to do is jump into one of those barrels). There are also a few too many ‘near death experiences’ – i.e. characters thinking their loved ones have been killed, only to find they have miraculously survived.  

In addition, one could accuse Jackson of false advertising. There were several very nice scenes in various previews which never made it into the final film: two elf maidens running through the woods, laughing; Aragorn and Arwen frolicking, as she smiles radiantly; Arwen exhorting Elrond to give Aragorn “the sword of the king”; Elrond telling Arwen “You gave away your life’s grace; I can no longer protect you,” and then sadly embracing his dying daughter. Not nice to tease one’s loyal fans; more importantly, all of these scenes could have easily been added to the finished product ­– and should have been.  

Whither Bombadil?

Further, what of the scriptwriters’ myriad changes to Tolkien’s sacred, inviolable text? Well, to those dedicated keepers of the Flame of the West, who have frequently and loudly bemoaned the absence of Tom Bombadil, Glorfindel, Ghan-buri-ghan, Imrahil, Radagast the Brown, the knights of Dol Amroth, the Sceptre of Arnor and the Scouring of the Shire, one can only bow the head sympathetically and say ... (wait for it) ... Get a fricking life, fanboys!!!! Think you could’ve done a better job?  

Have these people never heard of artistic license? Jackson has always stressed that this film is merely his interpretation of Tolkien’s masterwork. Some of these grumblers evidently have little or no understanding of the structural and dramatic requirements of film, as opposed to literature; nor much grasp of the process of adaptation, and the fact that compression of material is essential in something of this magnitude. Even given the film’s 11-and-a-half hour length, omissions were unavoidable.  

There are, indeed, key differences between book and film: Frodo is rescued from the Black Riders by Arwen; Frodo rejects Sam, and orders him to go back to the Shire; the two hobbits are sidetracked to battle-torn Osgiliath; Aragorn is almost killed by wargs; the ghostly warriors from the Paths of the Dead join the battle at Minas Tirith; a spellbound Frodo offers the One Ring to one of the Nazgul; a legion of elves help defend Helm’s Deep; Shelob attacks Frodo in the third act, not the second; Faramir tries to take the Ring from Frodo; and there is a significant twist to Frodo’s final confrontation with Gollum.

And your friendly neighborhood purists could probably list many more – to the extent that some have even felt compelled to make their own bootleg versions of the films – such as the Feanor Edition of The Two Towers, and the Sharkey Purist Edition of the entire trilogy. Certainly, Jackson’s choices should be debated. But I think they generally make sufficient dramatic sense, in the context of the film adaptations.

Improving On Tolkien

Some changes, in fact, are even improvements. For example, Tolkien has Merry and Pippin surprise Frodo by insisting on accompanying him when he leaves the Shire; Jackson instead has Leggy and Gimli surprise Aragorn as he leaves to embark on the Paths of the Dead ­– thus showing Aragorn’s friends as being willing to brave supernatural terror. As for the book’s Scouring of the Shire, using that lengthy section as the concluding battle of the film would have been very anti-climactic after already showing the source of ultimate evil destroyed; instead, this event is depicted briefly in a vision, as a possible future if the Ring is not destroyed.

In act one of the book, wargs threaten the Fellowship briefly at night, as the comrades travel toward Moria; the lead beast attacks, and is quickly dispatched by Legolas; the ineffectual creatures soon back down, never to be seen again. Jackson makes much better use of the creatures, moving the wargs to the middle act, when they attack the citizens of Edoras as they journey to the refuge at Helm’s Deep; the director takes the opportunity to stage a full-blown battle. There is now much more at stake: rather than just menacing the hardy fellowship, the wargs threaten to massacre women and children.  

One can quibble about some of the film-makers’ other changes and additions to the plot. But the extensive commentaries and documentaries accompanying the DVDs clarify their reasons – which are generally good ones. For example, Tolkien’s Faramir is never tempted to take the One Ring – which is hardly the stuff of suspenseful drama. The initial motives and inner turmoil of the film’s Faramir add to the dramatic tension; and unlike his brother Boromir, this Faramir ultimately overcomes his fall from grace, decisively rejecting the Ring. Granted, that’s a serious change from the book. But the concept of the stalwart, noble knight who resists the Ring’s temptation is already in the film, in the form of Aragorn. It's not really necessary to make that point with two different characters. So why not utilize Faramir as a means of emphasizing the evil power of the ring? I don’t think this change harms the overall story in any way.

Sunrise  

Truly, all the whinging purists bogged down in the dead marshes of their dashed expectations can’t spoil my enjoyment of what Jackson and his team have done. Such critics are like Bilbo’s trolls, so busy “arguing the whithertos and whyfors” that they fail to see the sunrise coming. And what a magnificent sunrise this film is. The Lord Of The Rings is, far and away, the very finest film adaptation of an epic book that I’ve ever seen – even surpassing David Lynch’s superlative interpretation of Dune. The merits of the film virtually eclipse its flaws. That may sound like hyperbole, but I believe it’s warranted in this case.  

Click here for part 2:

http://musemash.tumblr.com/post/181194366715/images-from-the-two-towers-courtesy-of-new-line