#And the whole: I said what I meant and meant what I said… or something like that.

[aeolianblues]

Preface: this is only in the body and not in tags because it’s difficult to format it in tags, it’s not meant to be read as more important than tags if you don’t want to, I’m just thinking out loud.

Seeing so many different takes on this in the notes — Some people arguing that disability will be negatively impacted by having accessibility aids taken away. Dyslexia and related conditions. Valid concerns. While I think it’s possible to accommodate that— I never knew a teacher to ever deduct more than half a mark on an entire test (overall) for bad handwriting or spelling, it’s possible to do away with deductions for these small things outside of like, grade 5 entirely. If teachers in my classes of 54 kids could do it in the 2010s, it’s possible to do it now too.

I’ve never liked nor understood mathematics on a computer. None of the symbols you need are available, rough work is impossible to do for calculations, it makes everything so messy. Same goes for physics, and chemistry formatting was also an absolute bitch digitally. That’s where pen/pencil and paper were absolutely needed. Even today, I prefer to do any non-text work by hand because what do you know! Tablets with pencils are still really expensive!

But on the other hand, writing for long hours was an absolute pain— many of us were worried that 3-hour long exams with long-format answers would actually give us some sort of wrist injury. I switched from playing the guitar righthanded (pressing the strings with your left hand) to playing the other way round, because after getting home from a 7h long school day my left (writing) hand could not take applying pressure while practising the guitar. As someone who’s job is coding on a computer and like dragging windows and spreadsheets, I do worry about things like carpal tunnel, though I still feel my hands are less stressed than when writing with a pen over 6 hours and really fast. I had to change how I write entirely to reduce finger and wrist stress.

Unless you (as the last person said) want to get rid of homework entirely and have kids do their work in front of you, writing won’t really reduce AI cheating. A kid on a time crunch will choose to handwrite an essay they got chat gpt to write for them than sit and take the precious time when late to come up with the contents and structure their arguments themselves. This is not me advocating for AI, but telling you that this is what I saw in my final years, which was just as AI was beginning to take off amongst university students.

You know how you tackle that? You teach your students time management. Facilitate their essay writing process in stages. Set smaller milestones that they need to meet. Professors who broke up a large assignment into smaller bits with incremental deadlines took SO much stress off my shoulders compared than ones who just assigned you one fuckoff-giant project and left you to flail. I built a whole compiler within a 3 month semester, and it was the least stressful project I’ve ever done because we had smaller and well-structured deadlines every two weeks that also helped us really understand the architecture of a compiler and helped me think through the process of building one.

And I know, some people will say ‘if university students in their 20s need to be taught basic things like time management then we’re all doomed’, but what else are you trying to teach kids when you get into the argument about whether AI helps or hinders? The material they need is mostly available either online or now easily structured through AI. You’re teaching them how to think about things, structure their ideas, put together larger pieces of work incrementally; doesn’t that also include teaching them how to spread out and structure their work? It’s literally what workplaces would call ‘project management.’

Teach them that, and a lot of things they may have previously been intimidated by and felt unable to start (you know when something’s so vast you don’t know where to start and just freeze instead?), they will all fall into place and make sense, and allow your students not only to begin their work, but to know how to break down bigger problems in future and also how to set themselves milestones to keep track of their (/their teams’) progress themselves. What do I know.

An ex-colleague of mine was complaining to me the other day about the ai problem in her students' papers, and I told her, "Just make your students hand-write them in class. Easy." She looked at me like I was insane and tried to explain how that would never work, but I just said,"That's how we did it for a thousand years. The invention of word processors doesn't erase all that."

To me it seems obvious. Readings are done out of class, handwritten essays are done within it. No more ai papers.

[libingan]

—no questions asked.

you’ve always been his, even before the words were ever said—no labels needed when everything else speaks for itself.

i remember candace and jeremy's relationship in phineas and ferb. i liked how jeremy assumed they were already dating and thought to myself "simon riley" so here it is.

it’s always been this way with simon.

the little things you’ve shared, those moments that nobody else gets to see, have slowly built up over time. long drives where the silence is comfortable, quiet moments when you’re wrapped up in a blanket together, his arm draped around your shoulders. you’ve shared soft kisses in the early morning light, whispered words when you think no one’s listening, and occasional touches that linger just a second too long to be deemed innocent. his gruff voice calling you his—just “his,” as if you’re already a part of something bigger, something unspoken.

but the question always lingers in the back of your mind: what are we?

because in your head, you’re not his girlfriend. you never really were. sure, you’ve done couple things—spent hours together, laughed over inside jokes, shared moments that feel like they belong to only the two of you. but whenever you think about it, you can’t quite place a label on what you are. you never had that conversation, the one where he asks you out, where you define what this thing between you is.

and deep down, you’ve always known. maybe it’s not meant to last. maybe simon’s just passing through your life like a storm, wild and unpredictable, leaving you wondering if you’ll ever feel whole again once the dust settles. you’ve never asked for a commitment. it was enough for you to just be close, to keep things easy and fluid, without any promises that might eventually break.

but then, everything changes the moment you decide to confront him.

it’s a quiet night, the kind where the world outside seems to stop, and you’re sitting in the living room, the only sound being the soft hum of the kitchen light. simon’s sprawled across the couch, eyes half-lidded as he scrolls through his phone. you’re sitting on the floor in front of him, leaning your back against the coffee table, and you can’t stop your thoughts from swirling.

the truth has been eating at you for weeks now, months maybe. you have to ask. you need to know if this is really what you want, and more importantly, if it’s what simon wants. so, you let the question slip, unsure of how it’ll come out, but it tumbles from your lips all the same.

“simon,” you begin, your voice quiet but firm, “what are we?”

he doesn’t immediately look up from his phone. it’s as if the question barely registers, but you know he’s heard it. you can feel his attention slowly turning your way, as if his brain needs a second to process the weight of your words.

he puts the phone down, tilting his head slightly to get a better look at you, his gaze soft but intense. he doesn’t say anything at first. instead, his lips curl into a small, knowing smirk.

“what do you mean?” his voice is low, almost like he’s testing the waters.

you swallow, feeling a tightness in your chest, and you try to make your words come out right. “i mean… we do all this stuff, simon. you call me yours, and i… i don’t even know where i stand. we’ve never really talked about what this is. are we… are we dating, or what?”

he blinks at you for a moment, clearly taken aback by your words. it’s almost funny, how much you’ve thought about it, how much you’ve analyzed your every interaction, while simon has likely never questioned it. it’s simple to him. and that’s when it hits you—he’s never even considered that this could be anything other than what it is.

he sighs, a deep, exasperated sound, and leans back into the couch, his arms crossed over his chest. his eyes lock onto yours, unwavering. “what are you on about, woman? you’re my girlfriend.”

the words hang in the air, and for a moment, you can’t quite process them. you blink, unsure if you’ve heard him right. it almost sounds like he’s stating a fact, like it’s something as simple as breathing. his voice is firm, unwavering, as if this was always meant to be the case.

you feel your breath catch, the weight of his words sinking in, and then—just like that—all your worries melt away. you don’t even know why you were so worried in the first place. the uncertainty, the anxiety, it all seems so silly now. you’re not sure whether to laugh or roll your eyes at the absurdity of it all. simon is, as always, so simon about it. there’s no drama, no overthinking, no need for big conversations or declarations.

you’re his. you’re his girlfriend. and there’s no debate.

the relief hits first, followed closely by a mix of amusement and a small flash of annoyance. you try to hold back the grin tugging at your lips. “wait... just like that? no question, no ‘will you be my girlfriend?’ just… you’re my girlfriend?”

he meets your gaze, nonchalant, and shrugs. “that’s right. you’re mine. no need for any of that nonsense. i’ve already decided.”

you stare at him, feeling a warmth spread through you that has nothing to do with the temperature of the room. it’s the way he speaks, like he’s already certain, already claimed you. and it feels… good. reassuring, even. but also, just a little bit frustrating. because, honestly, how do you even argue with that?

“god, you’re impossible,” you mutter, a grin breaking through as you roll your eyes. “seriously. you’re so damn sure about everything.”

he just smirks back, the corner of his mouth lifting ever so slightly. “you should be glad i am, sweetheart. now, come here.”

he pats his lap, and before you can protest, you’re already moving toward him, the tension from moments before completely gone. his arms pull you close, and you settle against him, feeling his familiar warmth. you don’t even need the words anymore. somehow, just being with him like this is enough.

and that, you realize, is exactly what simon’s always known.

[kurishiri]

9 lil things abt the way some ikevil chars speak in japanese you probably didnt know

in the jp version, even after getting into a relationship, kate actually still consistently calls elbert with his title, “lord elbert” [エルバート様] (erubāto-sama). in jp, the only ones who do not use the honorific would be victor, william, and on occasion, alfons, who seems to switch between [エル] (eru), [エルバート] (erubāto), [エル様] (eru-sama), and [エルバート様] (erubāto-sama) on a whim.

in case en doesnt localize this well or fully when it does come…there is a time when victor switches his personal pronoun from [僕] (boku) to [俺] (ore). these words mean the exact same thing (i, me, my, etc), but the latter is meant to have a more “masculine” feel. [僕] (boku) is used quite a bit by boys as well (in fact, ellis’ personal pronoun is [僕]), but it can also treated as a sorta “gender-neutral” character in songs, for example, and girls can use [僕] as well. on the other hand, you wouldnt ever see a girl using [俺].

nica has an interesting…speaking quirk, where certain words that should be written in hiragana r written in katakana. for example, he might say [イイ] (ī) as opposed to [いい] (ī), or [ホント] (honto) rather than [ほんと��] (hontō), [ワケ] (wake) over [わけ], [てアゲル] (—te ageru) over [てあげる], etc. this is likely a “personal style” thing to make him seem more flippant, cuteish, or youthful. this kind of thing is also more common in fictional characters who were raised abroad.

darius uses [ほっぺ] (hoppe) to say “cheeks”. the traditional way to say cheeks is [頬] (hoho). they mean the exact same thing, but saying [ほっぺ] (hoppe) to refer to cheeks has a childish or “innocent” air to it, partially due to the way its written entirely in hiragana. he does tend to have a childish air abt him, and this is probably one of the most direct examples of his childishness when it comes to the way he speaks.

alfons changed his way of speaking at some point after entering the greetia manor. before then, he often used more casual speech, known as [くだけた表現] (kudaketa hyōgen), but eventually he changed his way of speaking to whats known as [です・ます] (desu•masu) form, even using [敬語] (keigo), which is like very polite or humble japanese with their own set of vocabulary and conjugations. this is likely due to becoming elbert’s “attendant.” so he likely had to speak that way and it may have just become a habit or a sort of integral part of his identity, as he uses this language even after getting into a relationship with kate.

another tidbit of victor: he often — for example — ends questions with [かい] (kai). the other way to end questions in japanese would be to just use [か] (ka). but by adding [い] (i) to it, it can add emphasis or “soften” the tone. its mostly used by men, and using such a form is often associated with older men and women (40+), but younger men can use this too.

it might be more noticeable with jude bc he originally speaks in a whole different dialect [関西弁] (kansai-ben), and will switch to queens english, i.e. standard tokyo japanese, for business related reasons or if he feels its necessary to for a reason. but roger also can switch his way of speaking as well. he would mainly do this with ppl hes not well acquainted to or with well respected personages. he normally speaks pretty casually in japanese, shortening words or phrases, though not speaking in a different dialect. for example, he might say [そりゃ] (sorya) instead of [それは] (sore ha). but in certain situations, he might opt to use [それは].

william and elbert speak in the same form [だ・である] (da•dearu) due to the fact they r nobles — such a form comes off as more direct, imposing, or just strong in general — but they also do have their own “speaking quirks” as well. for example, when saying the word “but” or “however”, will often uses the word [が] (ga), while elbie opts for [けれど] (keredo). will also tends to end his sentences or remarks with [だな] (da na), something that elbie does not really do. that said, the way they both say “yes” is the same: [ああ] (ā).

kate uses honorifics with ring, specifically [くん] (—kun), when requested by ring to not be so formal with him (btw kate also uses [くん] with ellis), but when ring refers to kate by her name rather than “robin”, he doesnt use any honorific on her. on the other hand, nica continues to call her “robin” / spatzi / rotkehlchen what have you, but asks her to not use [さん] (—san) with him at all. so kate just calls him [ニカ] (nika). not using any honorifics is what’s known as [呼び捨て] (yobi-sute), and its smth that should really be done with ppl you feel v close to or with family (or otherwise its incredibly rude), but kate probably only did so with nica at that pt so she could respect his request, rather than an actual feeling of closeness.

[cyberhughes]

can i please get a spicy margarita, #15 w quinn hughes?

congrats on 200!! 🫶🏼

cyberhughes 200 follower special ⋆ .˚

spicy margarita coming up!!

prompt #15: "don't hold back."

warnings: SMUT, unprotected pinv, swearing, brief mention of insecurities, barely oral (f!receiving), nutting inside please for the love of god use protection!!!

you guys don't understand how feral i am over this rn...anyways thank you ml <3 i kinda got carried away w this one im literally in heat rn

prompt list

"more quinny..." you whined against his lips as you ground down onto his clothed crotch, the movie you had been watching long forgotten. he groaned at the friction, "princess...hold on." he breathed out, gripping your hips to slow your motions and you sighed out in frustration.

quinn treated you like you were a glass figurine that could shatter at the slightest touch. for a while you thought that maybe you had done something wrong. did he not want to have sex with you? were you not pretty enough? your mind clouded with insecurities every time he'd stop you before the two of you could go all the way.

it's not like he doesn't want you, of course he does. he has to try so hard to restrain himself when he sees you walk around the apartment with skimpy little shorts, or when you tease him by poking your ass against him as he spoons you at night. he never meant to hurt your feelings, he means well! he knows you're a virgin, which is why he's scared to get too intimate with you, he's scared he might hurt you, his darling girl.

"quinn if you don't want to have sex with me, just say that." you huffed as you climbed off of his lap, flopping back onto the bed with you arms crossed over your chest as you averted eye contact. his eyes widened at your sudden reaction, this is what he was afraid of.

"no, it's not that baby." he reached for you and you felt your eyes well with tears, feeling slightly pathetic. "then why do you shut me down every time i try to initiate something?"

"i..." he sighed as you looked up, waiting for a response. "i'm scared i might hurt you." you looked into his eyes that were filled with regret.

"quinn, you could never hurt me." you reassured him, fixing your posture to face him. you understood now.

"i'm sorry baby, i never meant to make you feel like that." he reached a hand up to cup your face, wiping a tear off your cheek as you leaned into his touch. you turned to kiss his hand and looked up at him with hooded eyes, hoping to continue what you had started.

“i want to have sex with you, quinn, i want you to fuck me." your voice was barely above a whisper and he felt himself get unbelievably hard in his sweat pants, eyes darkening with lust.

he quickly leant down to kiss you, cupping your face with both hands as you held onto his wrists, eyes fluttering closed as he kissed you with the most passion you had ever felt from him. he gently moved you further down the bed to lay down fully, climbing on top of you.

you let out a moan when you could feel his erection against your thigh as he trailed wet kisses down to your neck, his fingers dancing from the skin of your waist, down to the edge of your panties.

you could feel the hesitation in his movements as his hand ghosted over your covered core. "please, need you so bad quinn." you whined in his ear, and who was he to deny you?

he took his time prepping you, showing your whole body the love it you deserved. he took his time as he eased his fingers into you, making sure to whisper sweet nothings into your ear as you whined at the stretch. of course he ate you out as well, kissing and lapping at your soaked cunt as you tugged at his hair.

"baby...quinn stop..." you said breathlessly and he shot up, immediately assuming he had done something wrong. "what's wrong princess? do you want to stop?" your heart melted at the sight, his eyes filled with worry, a contrast to your glistening slick on his chin.

"no, you're making me feel so good, i just need to feel you inside now." you reassured and he felt like his eyes might pop out his head like a looney tunes character.

he wasted no time kicking off his sweats and boxers, already shirtless from before. you could feel your whole body burn at the sight in front of you, quinn at the edge of the bed, looking like he was about to eat you alive, stroking his extremely hard cock in his right hand.

he had crawled up on top of you, kissing you from your ankles up to your swollen lips. his tongue explored your mouth as you let out a whimper at the feeling of his cock rubbing against your folds.

"quinny...inside..." his pupils were blown out, the sight of you already so fucked out and he hadn't even put the tip in yet.

"tell me if it hurts, okay baby?" he looked into your eyes for assurance and you nodded frantically, "yes, just put it in."

he slowly pushed in, a deep groan escaping as your gummy walls sucked him in. meanwhile your eyes squeezed shut at the foreign feeling, he was so big, and you felt so full. he let you adjust for as long as you needed, kissing you deeply to distract from any discomfort. after a while, you nodded, signaling for him to start moving.

he pulled out slowly, nearly slipping out because of how wet you were, before pushing back in, observing your features for any signs of pain. he'd always put your own pleasure first before his.

it took you a while to get used to the feeling, but slowly the discomfort had turned into a pleasurable, warm sensation. you wanted more, no, you needed more of him.

you knew that he was only going slow to make sure he didn't hurt you, but you began to grow greedy, needing to pick up the pace.

you kissed his neck up to his ear, nibbling at his skin and he felt chills run down his spine as you whispered, "don't hold back." your manicured nails tracing down his back and he swore he could've cum right on the spot at your words.

"you sure?" he asked for confirmation and you nodded, "fuck me harder quinn."

he almost let out a whimper, his head dropping to the crook of your neck and you could feel his hips pick up, "fuck baby, you're too perfect." you moaned at his praise, feeling his cock thrust into you deeper.

"so fucking perfect," he lifted his head up and rested his forehead against yours, his tongue darting out to wet his lips as his pace quickened. "my perfect girl..." he trailed one of his hands down to your clit, rubbing quick circles onto the sensitive bud as you let out the most heavenly moans he had ever heard.

"ngh fuck!" you whined as tears formed, feeling the pleasure course through you as you dug your nails into his back, leaving marks that he'd definitely get questions about from his teammates.

"doing so good baby," he kissed away the tears that fell down your face as he rubbed your nub faster, and you could feel the coil in your stomach start to tighten, teetering on the edge of your orgasm.

"gonna cum for me, huh?" he asked but all you could let out were choked sobs, the pleasure becoming too intense. "oh baby, come on, you wanted this, go ahead and cum for me." he whispered into your ear and his words was all it took for you to snap, your hips rolling up to meet his as your orgasm washed over you.

"fuck," he groaned as he watched you, adjusting his position so that he was now sitting up, back on his heels as he gripped your hips tight enough to leave bruises as he thrusted faster as he chased his own high. you were whining and squirming underneath him, breasts bouncing with each thrust as the stimulation became too much. "m'sorry baby..." he pouted, "didn't you tell me not to hold back?"

you could only moan at his words, just laying there and taking what he was giving you, your pussy unbelievably sensitive as you clenched around him, almost pushing him out. your knuckles turning white from how hard you gripped the sheets as he fucked into you.

"fuck baby i'm gonna cum," he whined as he landed a particularly deep thrust and you cried out, "c-cum inside." he didn't have to be told twice before he let out an animalistic groan, throwing his head back as he spilled his warm load into your walls as your eyes rolled back at the sensation.

he slowed down, looking back down at you with fucked out eyes, the corner of his mouth twitching up into a smirk as he watched his cum drip down your pussy,

"so perfect."

[nihilisticnomad]

Forgot to do this before New Year, but since it's still January here it goes!

1) How many fics have you worked on since January?

I've published 37 stories this year!

2) What’s something new that you tried in a fic this year?

I tried my hand at various styles of smut. I was originally scared to try this style of writing, but I ended having fun!

3) What piece of media inspired you the most?

The Harry Potter movies and Lore once again, it seems I can't stay away from this universe.

4) How many fandoms did you write for this year?

6 fandoms in total: Harry Potter, One Piece, Maleficent, Biohazard Resident Evil, Ancient Greek Religion and Original Work.

5) What ships captured your heart?

Nico Robin/Roronoa Zoro from One Piece Bela Dimitrescu/Mother Miranda from Biohazard Resident Evil Fleur Delacour/Hermione Granger; Narcissa Malfoy/Hermione Granger; Luna Lovegood/Draco Malfoy; Narcissa Malfoy/Nagini from Harry Potter

6) What characters captured your heart?

A bit too many to list!

7) Did you write for any new fandoms or ships this year?

Quite a bit yes, but I particularly enjoyed writing my first Narcissa Malfoy/Hermione Granger with "Darling, you say (And I keen under your touch)"

8) What fic meant the most to you to write?

"Mama, help (There's a monster in my head)" means a lot to me, because of the story's general theme. Writing helped alleviate a bit of the pressure in a way.

9) What fic made you feel the happiest to work on?

I really enjoyed working on "And under the ancient trees (I danced with the Otherworld)". I felt carried away when writing it, which doesn't happen often!

10) What fic was the most satisfying to finish writing?

"Sshh, little one (There's a sleeping crow nearby)" felt so goof to finish because it was taking dust in my drafts for years now!

11) What fic was the most difficult to write?

I'll have to say "At the tip of my fingers (Your Starry Night)", because I usually don't write M/M, and even less in that borderline-manipulative tone.

12) What fic was the easiest to write?

"Oh pixies, sing (The song of my mischief)" was by far the easiest to write.

13) What were your shortest and longest fics posted this year?

Longest story is "Sshh, little one (There's a sleeping crow nearby)" at 1.3K words; and shortest fics are drabbles of 100 words.

14) What were your go-to writing songs?

Just putting one of my playlists on shuffle, and waiting for inspiration to appear.

15) What was the hardest fic to title?

I had the ingenious idea to commit to two-part titles, so it’s always a bit of a hassle. Tho the hardest might have been "O river mine (Take me whole)"

16) What's your favorite title of the year?

Probably "Whenever night falls (Listen for my call)". Not really sure why but I like it.

17) Share your favorite opening line

“Do you feel lonely?” asks Helen, her voice a mere murmur as she gently runs a hand through hissing hair. The snakes playfully nip at her fingers as she grazes their cold scales, their tiny forked tongues curiously exploring the palm of her hand before retreating shyly into the darkness of her lover’s hair. From the story "In the garden of solitude (Lies an Immortal's heart)"

18) Share your favorite ending line

She turns her head toward Hermione. “It’s raw freedom.” she adds, golden flecks swimming in her blue eyes as she smiles wistfully. From the story "What do you dream about? (Freedom, mon amour)"

19) Share your favorite piece of dialogue

« It’s peaceful. » she’d said at Hermione’s questioning gaze. « To roam above the world with such freedom. » She’d laughed a strange hollow sound, « It’s reassuring too, to know that even something as powerful as a star will one day collapse and disappear. » From the story "To hook a star (Is to find your freedom)"

20) Share your funniest line

I don't write many light-hearted dialogue this year, so I think this one: Hermione steps closer, “Fleur?” “Your cat!” suddenly blurts out Fleur. Hermione blinks dumbly at her wife and the blonde groans, hiding her face behind her hands as she adds, “Your stupid cat jumped on me and scared me!” From the story "Feline fiasco (And feathery mishap)"

21) What's something that surprised you while you were working on a fic? Did it change the story?

"There's a whisper in the dark of my mind (It yells for the truths I buried)" was originally meant to be a light-hearted story about a silly promise... I'm not really sure what happened but let's just say the story did a complete 180°...

22) What writing programs did you use? Did you write by hand?

As always, I kept true to Google Docs! I did try a few others but I can't seem to get the hang of it.

23) If you had to choose one, what was THE most satisfying writing moment of your year?

I'll have to say writing "And under the ancient trees (I danced with the Otherworld)". The overwhelming feeling of pride and happiness I got from writing this drabble took me by surprise, but it's one I'll cherish!

24) Did you do anything special to celebrate finishing a fic?

Sigh deeply and stare into the wall as I say goodbye to my WIP, and pray that someone will enjoy reading it. Each and every time, it’s the same ritual, ever since I posted my first story. Also did a little happy dance for a few stories, of course.

25) How did you recharge between fics?

The end of the year was a bit lacking in inspiration, so I simply focused on taking care of myself, whether it was with cuddling my cat, going horse-riding or seeing my family.

26) Did you create fanworks other than fic?

Nothing for that!

27) How many events did you take part in?

I participated in 13 events this year!

28) If this were an awards show, who would you thank?

As always, my grandmother, may she rest in peace. She was always been my biggest supporter when it came to my passion for writing, even though she didn't understand English. She'd always let me talk her ears off about my wips and ideas, celebrated my small victories with me and was patient with me as I tried to tell her my stories in French.

29) What's left on your to-do list for 2024?

Write a multichapter story! It's been my goal since 2022, but the task seems a bit too daunting still...

30) What would you like to write in 2025?

A multichapter story! Damnit.

A slightly revised version of last year's questions! Two ways to play: Reblog and have your followers send you numbers, or answer the whole list!

How many fics have you worked on since January?

What’s something new that you tried in a fic this year?

What piece of media inspired you the most? (This can be the fandom you wrote the most for, the one that spawned the most ideas, the one you thought about the most, etc.)

How many fandoms did you write for this year?

What ships captured your heart?

What characters captured your heart?

Did you write for any new fandoms or ships this year?

What fic meant the most to you to write?

What fic made you feel the happiest to work on?

What fic was the most satisfying to finish writing?

What fic was the most difficult to write?

What fic was the easiest to write?

What were your shortest and longest fics posted this year?

What were your go-to writing songs?

What was the hardest fic to title?

What's your favorite title of the year?

Share your favorite opening line

Share your favorite ending line

Share your favorite piece of dialogue

Share your funniest line

What's something that surprised you while you were working on a fic? Did it change the story?

What writing programs did you use? Did you write by hand?

If you had to choose one, what was THE most satisfying writing moment of your year?

Did you do anything special to celebrate finishing a fic?

How did you recharge between fics?

Did you create fanworks other than fic?

How many events did you take part in? (bangs, exchanges, ship weeks, zines, prompt memes, they all count!)

If this were an awards show, who would you thank?

What's left on your to-do list for 2024?

What would you like to write next year?

[jungwnies]

F1 GRID | it was never meant to be (2/2) continued...

୨ৎ : featuring : carlos sainz, charles leclerc, lando norris, oscar piastri ୨ৎ : synopsis : your ex f1 boyfriend regrets letting you go so easily.

୨ৎ : genre : reconcilation, heartbreak, angst, sad themes, moving-on ୨ৎ : tws : moving onto someone else, unforgiveness ୨ৎ : word count : 1491

୨ৎ masterlist ୨ৎ

୨ৎ find part one here ୨ৎ

ᡣ𐭩 : buy me a ko-fi ☕️

ʚ・carlos sainz

you were just finishing up at the checkout when the cashier smiled and said, “that man behind you paid for your things.”

you froze, confused. “what? i didn’t ask anyone to—”

“i did,” carlos said, stepping up behind you.

you turned quickly, instantly feeling your frustration rise. “carlos? what are you doing here?”

“i saw you walk in,” he said. “i didn’t mean to surprise you. i just… wanted to talk.”

you shook your head, annoyed. “why would you pay for my stuff? i didn’t ask for your help.”

“i know,” he said quietly. “i didn’t ask, but i wanted to. i’ve been wanting to talk to you. to apologize.”

you felt the anger well up in you again. “you already apologized, carlos. and i’m not interested in hearing it again.”

“i’m not just apologizing,” he said, his voice softer now. “i was wrong. i let myself get caught up in things that weren’t real. i thought i was doing the right thing, but i hurt you. and i’ve regretted it every day since.”

you crossed your arms, holding your bag tightly. “you hurt me, carlos. you chose her. and now it’s too late.”

“i know it’s late,” he said, stepping closer. “but i love you. i never stopped loving you. and i’ll do anything to show you i’m serious. i’ll do whatever it takes to make it right.”

you looked away, trying to keep your cool. “it’s not that easy. you don’t just get to mess things up and then expect everything to be fine.”

“i don’t expect it to be easy,” he said quickly. “but i want to try. i’ll prove it to you, every day if i have to. please, just let me try.”

you felt a tug in your chest, but you held firm. “fine,” you said finally. “we can try. but i’m not promising anything.”

carlos nodded, relief flooding his face. “thank you. i’ll do whatever it takes.”

as you turned to walk out, you felt a small weight lift off your shoulders. maybe this could work. maybe he could prove he was serious. time would tell.

ʚ・charles leclerc

you hadn’t expected to see charles here, not today. but there he was, standing in front of you, looking like he hadn’t slept in days. the second his eyes met yours, his whole expression changed.

“can we talk?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper, full of hope and regret.

you crossed your arms, fighting the urge to walk away. “what’s there to talk about? you made your choice.”

he shook his head, his face filled with guilt. “i know i messed up. i’ve thought about this so much. i should’ve chosen you. i’m sorry, i never wanted to hurt you. i never stopped loving you.”

the words felt familiar, like you’d heard them before, but this time, his eyes looked different—genuine. still, you couldn’t ignore what he had done.

“you chose everything else, charles,” you said quietly. “your career, the pressure, the public… and i was just left behind.”

he stepped a little closer, his voice tight with emotion. “i was wrong. i was stupid, and i’ll never forgive myself for it. but i swear, i love you. only you.”

you didn’t say anything at first. his words lingered, and you could feel the weight of everything between you. slowly, the walls around your heart began to crumble. could he really be sorry? could he really change?

weeks passed, and slowly, charles did everything he could to prove that he was serious. he didn’t just talk about how sorry he was—he showed it. he kept reaching out, always there when you needed him, even in the small ways. and bit by bit, you started to let him back in.

one night, after all the time that had passed, you looked at him and realized something. he wasn’t the same. he’d grown. and maybe, just maybe, he deserved a second chance.

“i was an idiot,” he said, his voice raw. “i didn’t know what i had until i lost it. i’ll spend the rest of my life trying to show you i’m the man you deserve.”

you smiled a little, your hand finding his. “maybe you’ve earned it,” you said quietly.

he smiled back, relief flooding his face. for the first time in so long, you both felt like maybe, just maybe, you could start over.

ʚ・lando norris

lando sat alone in his apartment, his gaze fixed on the window as he stared out at the city. the silence around him was suffocating, a constant reminder of everything he had lost. the photos, the headlines, and the moments with her that had slowly become real. he had let it happen, let the illusion become something more. and now, all he had left was regret.

he ran a hand through his hair, the weight of it all pressing down on him. he had promised you it was just for the cameras, a quick pr stunt to keep his image clean. he never meant for it to go this far. but now he knew he had made a mistake—one he couldn’t fix.

it had all slipped away from him so easily. you had been there, always. but he had pushed you aside for something superficial, something he thought was more important. the career, the spotlight, the endless demands from the outside world. he had taken you for granted. and now, he didn’t know how to fix it.

he let out a deep breath, his mind replaying every moment when he had hurt you, when he had chosen her over you. the look in your eyes when you walked away, when you told him that it was too late. he had never wanted to hurt you. but he did. and now, he didn’t know how to make it right.

a part of him knew he didn’t deserve forgiveness. he had failed you in every way possible. and now, he was left with the bitter taste of realizing just how much he had messed up. he had chosen everything else over you, and now, there was nothing left to choose from.

he sank into the couch, his head in his hands. there was no turning back. he had made his choice, and now, he had to live with it. but the thought of never having you again, of losing you for good—it was a pain he couldn’t escape.

it was too late. he had let you go, and now he had to suffer the consequences.

ʚ・oscar piastri

oscar sat in the corner of the driver’s lounge, his eyes fixed on the floor, hands running through his hair in frustration. lando noticed immediately and walked over, plopping down in the chair across from him. “what’s going on, mate? you look like you’ve been run over.”

oscar scoffed, shaking his head. “i screwed up, lando. i lost her… and i don’t even know how.”

lando raised an eyebrow. “what do you mean? what happened?”

oscar’s voice was heavy with regret. “i thought i could handle everything—media, sponsors, the pr stuff. but i got too caught up in it, and now… she’s gone. and i don’t think she’s coming back.”

lando’s face hardened. “so you went for the pr stunt, huh? you really thought you could juggle it all and not hurt her?”

oscar’s hands tightened into fists. “i didn’t mean for it to happen like that. i thought it was just for the cameras. but i started caring about her—more than i should’ve. and now i’m stuck with this mess.”

lando leaned forward, shaking his head. “you’re an idiot, oscar.”

oscar looked up in shock. “what?”

“you heard me,” lando said, voice firm. “you let the world tell you who you were supposed to be. you let her go thinking you could keep playing the game. and now? you’re alone. because you didn’t fight for her.”

oscar’s throat tightened. “i didn’t want it to go this far, lando. i tried to make it work, but… i messed up.”

lando crossed his arms, glaring at him. “yeah, you messed up. you had the chance, but you blew it. you could’ve stopped it, but you didn’t. you let it slip away.”

oscar’s chest tightened, the weight of it hitting him. “what do i do now?”

lando sighed. “nothing you can do now, mate. you made your choice, and now you have to live with it.”

oscar sank back in his chair, the realization settling in. “i don’t deserve another chance, do i?”

lando shook his head. “no, you don’t. but maybe you’ll learn something from this. just don’t make the same mistake again.”

oscar stared at the floor, the guilt gnawing at him. he had taken it all for granted. and now, there was no going back. the silence stretched between them, and he knew lando was right—he couldn’t fix this. he had lost you, and the consequences were his to bear.

2021-2025 © jungwnies | All rights reserved. Do not repost, plagiarize, or translate

[becausebuckley]

michelle's buddie fic recs: week 4!

oh have i got some good ones for you this week! enjoy <3

this is a mix of fics with all ratings, so some include NSFW content. please take a look at both the ratings and the fic tags before reading!

if you come across something you like in this list, remember to show some love to the author by leaving kudos and a comment!

and i'm not good at winning fights anymore | spaceprincessem/@spaceprincessem | 24k | T

five times Buck needs to feel Eddie's heartbeat and the one time Eddie needs to feel his. this is one of my absolute favourites, it was a reread this week and wow did it hit the spot once more. genuinely a masterpiece, cannot recommend this enough!

baby, say you'll always keep me | hattalove/@hattalove | 8.3k | T

the one in which joking about being married to your best friend is all fun and games, right up until you realize that you're not laughing. soft and sweet and a little silly, the buddie fic trifecta <3 all here in one fic!!

cause i'm tired of sleeping alone | rarakiplin (gmontys)/@hoediaz | 14.5k | T

five (ish) times eddie and buck go on dates with other people, and one time they go on a date with each other. oh this is so FUN i love mutual pining and jealousy and firefam meddling!! so good <3

didn't think you meant it | EtoileGarden | 33.5k | E

“Y’know,” he said. Shrugged again. “That last call? I kind of thought I’d have that by now.” “What,” Eddie raised his eyebrows at him. “A roof collapsing on you?” Buck grunted, elbowed Eddie. Lightly, because he did appreciate the humour in Eddie’s voice. “No,” he said. “Just - married.” i love love love the combination of pining and angst and comedy in this!! it's such a good time all around. another reread, and i'm glad i picked this up again!

i could spend the whole day just gettin' by | rowan_wood/@transboybuckley | 4.5k | GA

“I’m sick,” Buck said, eyes closed, when he could sense Eddie reached the loft. softest loveliest fic <3 i'm such a sucker for these two taking care of each other when they're ill, and this hits the spot so perfectly!

if i get burned, at least we were electrified | kaistinlove/@kaistinlove | 9.9k | E

Out of all the bad decisions Eddie has ever made. This one takes the cake. What did he think would happen when he's watching porn in broad daylight at the kitchen table? listen listen okay. buck's TATTOO. no i won't specify further, just read the fic. the TATTOO. trust me on this one. hot and fun and just so so good!!

if you leave the light on | cloudydaisies | 27.9k | GA

the check engine light comes on in Buck's Jeep, Eddie volunteers to fix it and carpool with him in the meantime, and it all breaks down from there, literally and metaphorically. such a delight of a fic <3 i love how this one nails not only the buddie dynamic, but the firefam as a whole!!

my heart will lead me there soon | ColorfulThoughts/@miscellaneouscolorfulthoughts | 7.4k | GA

Buck is pining for his best friend and copes with a new hobby. Who knew fish would bring them together? mutual pining, they are just too blind to see that is my new favourite tag combination <3 the hurt/comfort hurts and comforts so well!!

never known comfort like laying next to you | thelikesofus/@thelikesofus | 2.6k | GA

A long shift ends with a quiet pizza and movie night within the walls of the Diaz house followed by a quiet confession beneath Eddie’s duvet. this was another reread - quite a few of those this week - and wow does it continue to hit so hard <3 literally all of my favourite tags are right there!! i love soft domestic fluff, and this delivers exactly that!!

the evan buckley matchmaking agency | mmtion/@mmtions | 28.6k | M

Buck tries to set up Eddie. It goes well for absolutely no-one involved. (a 5+1 fic) the best oblivious buck ever!! this fic has such lovely characterisation of all the characters <3

the worm vs the universe | lightyears/@bisexualbellamyblake | 6.9k | T

Adriana moves to LA. It would be great, except that Buck starts dating her. adriana!! i love her so much!! the fact that we know so little about the diaz sisters in canon is wild to me tbh, but until proven wrong, i will just assume that adriana is exactly like this <3

slide it in, right to the top | oklahoma/@chippingmill | 4.3k | E

After Buck shows up at Eddie's door with a six pack, Eddie's mind begins to wonder. A bottle of tequila gives him the courage to ask for something he wasn't aware he's been wanting. this is hot and fun and so good and just so very them <3 i love scenarios like this for buddie, and this one is just perfect!!

vanilla disaster, lemon dream | BlueAzalea/@attack-of-the-blue-penguins | 39.8k | T

Eddie leans on his friends, shaves his mustache, goes to therapy, becomes besties with Maddie, admits he’s in love with his best friend, and learns to ask for what he wants. such a glorious glorious eddiemaddie friendship!! lovely introspective fic, an instant bookmark <3

wake up, boy, you're far from home | Daisies_and_Briars/@cal-daisies-and-briars | 23.8k | E

Eddie is miserable in El Paso, having seemingly made things worse. Buck is miserable in Los Angeles, without him. When Buck agrees to go home to Hershey for the holidays, everything implodes. oh and implode it does... such a fascinating look at the buckley and diaz families (i loved madney here!!) and at buddie themselves, of course. such a brilliant fic!!

when the tequila runs out | Artemis_Unbound/@artemisthehuntress | 5k | T

Drunk Buck is an octopus, Eddie is a pushover, and cuddles are had by all. soft and funny and just the perfect nighttime read <3 this might come last alphabetically, but it was the first fic i read this week, and what a delightful start it was!

[starrydali]

I loved jj on soft "spot"????? Like, I know that this jj doesn't have any specific label on him but how he sees reader as such a precious thing and he's so devoted to her is actually so IEHEJEHFHF I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT DO DESCRIIIIBE HELLO?????

can I ask for a request with the energy of this same jj?

Jj x reader where he finds out somehow that she used to want a toy a kid (maybe some sylvanian families?)but she's a pogue so her parents didn't have the money to buy it, so he buys it for her after some time with some cash he has been saving recently?

Sylvanian Families - JJ Maybank

˚ ༘♡ ·˚ ₊˚ˑ༄ؘ This is actually so adorable! I used to have so many Sylvanian families growing up. Also about the label...is JJ her bf or are they just bsf?? What do we think?? ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

JJ didn’t think he’d be the type to care this much about something like this. But then you had mentioned, in passing, that you used to want a Sylvanian Families toy when you were younger.

He didn’t even think twice when he heard it. He just locked it away in the back of his mind, like he’d do with anything you said, because it mattered to him.

And yeah, he was a little shocked at how much it stuck with him. But that was just how it went with you—everything you said, every little thing you did, made him feel like he had to look out for you. Like he wanted to.

It was a few weeks later, and JJ was at a toy store, pretending like he didn’t feel a little ridiculous standing there, trying to figure out how to even find something for you. He wasn’t used to this whole “buying things for people” thing, but this wasn’t just anyone. This was you. And you deserved it.

He wandered through the aisles, finally spotting it: the Sylvanian Families set, sitting there like it was just waiting for him to come through.

He grabbed it off the shelf, and with a casualness that didn’t quite match how his chest was tightening, he headed over to where you were standing. You’d been following him around, all confused, not having any clue about what he was up to.

“JJ, what are we doing here?” you asked, raising an eyebrow.

He just shrugged. “You’ll see.”

When he handed you the toy, your eyes flickered over it for a second, then slowly widened. “Wait, no way...”

“Yeah way,” he said, trying to act like it wasn’t a big deal, but he could feel the smile tugging at his lips. “I remember you talking about it. Thought you might like it.”

You stared at it, at a loss for words for a second. But then, you glanced up at him, soft and a little surprised, and JJ’s heart did that stupid flutter thing.

“You—JJ, you didn’t have to...”

“I know,” he said, shrugging. “But I wanted to.”

And for some reason, saying that felt good. It wasn’t just about the toy. It was about how much he cared about making you happy. You were important to him in a way that made him want to do this, to give you something you never thought you’d get.

You bit your lip, clearly struggling not to smile too big, but it wasn’t working. You gave up and smiled at him, the kind of smile that had him feeling a little warmer than usual.

“Thank you, JJ.” Your voice was soft, but he could hear the way it meant everything.

He didn’t need anything else, honestly. Just that look on your face was enough. “Anytime, sweetheart.”

And when you leaned into him, pressing your head to his shoulder with that quiet little sigh of yours, he felt like he could just stay like that forever. Because this? Taking care of you? This was exactly where he was supposed to be.

✧. ┊ Send requests! :)

[ccazimi]

Nightingale (pt. 4)

Read pt. 3

CW: stepcest, noncon, partial p in v, choking/breathplay, dacryphilia, namecalling (sweetheart, cockslut, etc.), degradation, dirty talking, sadism, blowjob, throat/facefucking, cumplay (?), lmk if i missed anything else

WC: 3.5k

a/n: please! pay attention to the warnings! i'm gonna proofread this tmr so excuse any mistakes... also i think this miniseries will have one more part as the last one

“I’ll make it up to you.”

You hate those stupid words that he’d uttered because now you can’t get them out of your head.

With bated breaths and timid glances you sneak at him you wait patiently, wondering if he really meant what he said.

Those stupid words that kept you yearning in a way that was unfamiliar to you- if not to feel his tongue or his touch again then that damned toy he’d used on you.

The orgasm it gave you kept you up for nights, only heightened when you thought of him using it on you.

But Sukuna had been working long hours lately, and you had no idea how to even bring this up to him- as if you would, even if you knew how.

Amidst your thoughts being infected with him, you somehow didn’t feel the want to go on anymore dates. You gave excuses- that you were busy with schoolwork or that your parents were strict, because the truth was gross.

You wanted your perverted stepbrother to fuck you, use you, make you feel good in ways that had you questioning your sanity. That he’s tainted you till the point you get wet when he calls you his little sister.

These days disgust and discomfort are hard to differentiate from want and dark desires.

Still, you wondered if something had shifted in your dynamic with him since that night. He seemed a bit less antagonistic these days the few times you saw him, still teasing and taunting but in a more playful manner, and you felt yourself easing up with his presence, like you weren’t a stranger in your own home whenever he was around.

Any amiability came to a stand still not even a week later, when the situation regarding your finances came up.

Maybe it partially arose from the fact the Mr. Itadori had stepped up in his paternal role, happily offering to pay for your expenses including your college tuition. It was no secret that he was smitten with you, maybe because having a daughter was a nice change after raising two sons his whole life.

Even this would still be fine if he didn’t make Sukuna - the only other earning man in the household - pay for your expenses as well.

You insisted otherwise but Mr. Itadori was set on making his older show up for you, perhaps thinking this would show him how to act or how to be a real brother to you.

And that’s how you arrived with Sukuna having to pay your credit card bill, which clearly pissed him off to no end.

“Seventy-eight thousand yen?! Are you fucking serious?”

You stood awkwardly in the doorway of Yuuji and Sukuna’s shared room, feeling guilty enough as it was going up to him and asking him if he could pay your bill since Mr. Itadori told you to go to him for it.

Honestly, you’d try to postpone this meeting for as long as you could but your bill was due very soon.

“It was over the course of one whole month, okay?” You reply defensively, thinking you’d actually done a decent enough job budgeting this month.

Sukuna’s lip curls in irritation as he looks up from the statement to glare at you. “You don’t fucking get it do you? Spoiled fucking brat, you’ve just had everything handed to you your whole life.”

His words sting, like they always do. You’re tired of hearing this same tirade from him over and over again- and to act like he knows you or whatever the hell your life was like?

It grates your nerves.

“Don’t act like I’m the problem just because you’re miserable.” You finally spit back.

“You are the fucking problem, you just enter our fucking lives and start leeching off of us.” He seethes, creases etched into his face that’s twisted in anger. “Getting coddled like you’re a damn toddler while the rest of us actually have to work.”

“I’m a full time student, you know this!” You step closer, done bowing your head and putting up with his bullshit. “And you have no right to act like you’re a fucking saint just because you have a job, after all the things you’ve done to me.”

You despise the way your voice breaks just a bit after you hiss out the last part, the way his expression contorts with something mocking, condescending.

He scoffs. “Done to you, huh? You keep playing this card like you don’t fucking love it,” He leans closer, “Like you don’t fall apart under my touch as if it’s the only good thing that’s ever happened to you. I bet you even fuck yourself on your fingers at night pretending they’re mine, don’t you?”

Sukuna watches you try to hold yourself together and keep your composure as you stubbornly deny him what both of you know is the truth, acutely aware of how close he was and that glint in his eyes. “I don’t. You’re getting ahead of yourself.”

“Sweetheart, you’d probably get on the floor and do it in front of me right now if I asked you to.” He smirks. “If I promised you I’d make you feel so good, if you did. You don’t have nearly as much shame as you pretend to.”

You push down the lump in your throat, fingers curling inwards and unfurling again as you’re rudely reminded of the situation you’d been dealing with this whole fucking week, how even now your craving mind wonders if this is an offer.

“Make me feel good….how?” You murmur under your breath, heat seeping through your body and across your cheeks as you look down and away from his face and towards the long fingers that were pumping inside you.

You’re ridiculously horny for him.

He laughs, a callous sound that rips through and yanks you out of your stupor.

“God, you were really fuckin’ gonna do it, weren’t you? Pathetic bitch.” He sneers.

Tears of resentment, anger, and humiliation prick at your eyes and before they have a chance to fall your hand is suddenly flying through the air and slapping him squarely across the face.

“Fuck you, fuck, I wish you’d never entered my fucking life!” You yell, hating how your hit seemingly does nothing to him, or that sleazy grin on his face. “No wonder your mom left, it was probably because of you, her fucked up shit-show of a son.”

Whatever mirth lingered on his expression quickly disappears as his face hardens.

You know you’ve crossed a line, even before he stands at his full height reminding you of just how much bigger and stronger he was then you.

You’re still angry and honestly it felt good spewing that venom at him, but you’d be lying if you said you weren’t feeling something new right now like cold water in your veins.

It turns icier when he smiles again, the kind of smile that signals you should leave now.

“Maybe you’re right. Wanna see how much of a ‘fucked up shit show of a son’ she gave birth to?” He prowls closer, agonizingly slow as you continue to back further and further away until you’re near his door.

You really shouldn’t have gotten yourself into this situation while the only other person at home was Mr. Itadori who was contentedly asleep in the living room sofa while the tv plays loudly in the background.

Finally you swivel around, though you know it’s pointless.

You’ve played this game before- Sukuna will always be bigger, stronger, faster.

And just like that he’s in front of you, shoving you away from the door as a condemning click tells you there’s no getting out of this now.

It alarms you, enough that you’re leaping across the small expanse of the room, though you know it won’t do anything, confirmed by a tight grasp around your wrist before you’re shoved face first into the dark covers of his single bed.

It all happens so fast, you feel the immovable weight of him above you as you struggle uselessly and panicked tears are wet on your cheeks. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry Sukuna, I didn’t mean it—”

His hand is around your throat in an instant, pressing the air out of your words as he pushes your head back till your neck is straining. “Shut up, just shut the fuck up. You had it fucking coming.”

You stop trying to fight back, with both wrists held together behind your back in just one of his hands and another that could choke you out at any time, you were only just wasting your energy.

He leans in, breath hot and humid as it ghosts across your ear. “I really held out on this, you know. But you’ve pushed your luck too far this time…”

A sickly feeling curdles in your gut when he shifts so you can feel the hardness in his pants, rubbing along the curve of your ass. “So let me show you what a mean older brother I can be.”

Your breath turns shaky as you feel him undo his pants, shifting around to free his erection before crudely yanking your own bottoms and panties down, just enough that you can feel air brush against your exposed ass and cunt. “No, no, no, I’m not ready Sukuna, please you c-cant,”

His fingers tighten back up around your trachea, the uncomfortable pressure and your anxiety letting only a scant amount of oxygen to make it to your lungs.

“I can, and I will. Besides, you were ready that night, huh? Just to lose it to some random guy you barely even knew, if it came to it.”

You feel it then, the hot and leaking tip of his cock rubbing against your pussy. You try to swallow but you can’t. You want to yell, say something, anything, but not a single word can make its way up your squeezed throat.

“Oh fuck, you’re wet.” He chuckles lightly, exhaling audibly as his cock slides further into your lubricated folds, sliding it back and forth in your slick. “You like this or something? Is this turning you on? God, you might just be as ‘fucked up’ as me…”

His grip loosens slightly on your throat, allowing you with some much needed air as you find yourself getting even more worked up, despite the fear and bitterness that boiled in you.

Your stomach tightens when you feel him stop his movements to prod his tip against your entrance. “St-stop Sukuna, I won’t be able to take it,” You whisper as fresh tears fall, “You’ll tear me up.”

“Just take a deep breath.” He says flatly, not a hint of concern in his voice. “Or don’t, I don’t really care either way.”

He presses himself further into you, and you can already feel the pain gathering as he’s barely even inserted himself.

“No-”

Your cry of protest turns into a wincing gasp as he pushes himself further into you, just the tip of him forcing its way past your entrance.

“Oh shit, you’re tight,” He groans.

It hurts. A painful burn that felt like you were being ripped open as he tries to inch himself deeper into you.

Your body’s tensed in pain, breath labored while you let out feeble whimpers as tears stream and stream, trying to just get through it, remembering how you were always told that there would be pleasure after the initial pain.

Even if it doesn’t seem like this pain would ever be worth it.

He can’t honestly be more than an inch in, but you feel him stop moving.

He’s looking at you.

A second passes before he sighs. “Fuck.”

And with that there’s another sudden burst of pain before it’s gone all together and you realize he’s pulled himself out of you.

His hand leaves your throat, relief flooding your veins when you feel his weight lift off you.

As soon as you can, you quickly turn over, harshly pulling your own pants up to see he’s already tucked himself back in as well.

You scoot farther away from him on his bed until your back is to the wall.

He’s looking down at you with a scornful look of frustration with a gaze that makes you feel small before finally breaking the silence. “Get on the ground. You’re gonna have to make me cum another way.”

“Wh-what?”

“Are you dumb? Get down and on your knees. Now.”

You do as he says, slipping off the edge of his bed and slowly lowering yourself till he knots a hand in your hair and pushes down on your hear till you’re at his crotch level.

“And take off your top.”

You hesitate.

It doesn’t make sense for you to be shy about this, especially after everything else.

You swallow and grab your shirt by the hem to pull it up over the top of your head before pausing and looking up at him.

“Don’t make me fucking say it.”

Well, at least you tried your luck.

Slowly you unclasp your bra and take off the straps before throwing it to the side to expose your bare chest to him.

Sukuna’s eyes roam over your tits as your nipples harden in exposure to the air and his tongue darts out to wet his lips.

“That’s what I like to see.” He hums before gripping your head tightly again to push you forcefully into the large bulge in his pants so that he can grind it on your face. “Feel that? You’re gonna take all of it down your dumb little throat and you’re gonna love every single second of it. Understand?”

Tears sting your eyes and your face burns in equal parts shame and arousal as you nod obediently.

“Say it. Haven’t I taught you how to use your words?”

“Y-yes, I understand.” The words come out muffled by his clothed erection pressed against your mouth.

He pulls away. “Strip me.”

For a second you pause before quickly getting to work, unable to look up at him in the eye as you do so.

You unbutton his jeans and pull them down, the outline of his hardened cock through the black boxers sucking the air out of your lungs. Your fingers brush against his skin as you hook them around the waistband and peel them down to release his swollen dick.

Your stomach coils again.

Maybe it’s just the angle but you swear it looks even bigger than last time, with a vein running around the underside that you hadn’t previously noticed.

There was no way in hell you could have possibly taken that thing inside you and survived.

“Look up at me.” He orders as he grasps his cock with one hand.

You tilt your chin, round tear eyes meeting the hungry ones above you, watching his pupils blow out even more when he slaps his blushed tip against your face, making you wince softly.

That wicked leer of his only grows, the one that always means bad news.

“Kiss it. Show me how much you love my cock.”

Your eyes widen slightly, laying your hands around the dark tattooed bands encircling the muscular tops of his thighs before placing a chaste kiss right on his slit.

“Ah, fuck,” He exhales as he rubs the leaking tip of his dick up against your lips, smearing the precum all over them like it’s lipgloss. “That’s a good girl. Keep this up and you might actually make up for before.”

You resist the urge to bite his dick off.

He taps his cock on your mouth. “Open up.”

You comply, entirely confused by how much you hated this, especially after what he’d just tried, yet found yourself just as desperately wanting to taste him.

He immediately begins to slide his length through your opened mouth, groaning at the contact against your wet tongue, continuing to go deeper and deeper till it was uncomfortable.

You try to fight your gag reflex from being triggered but it happens anyway, with something so long and large being pushed down your throat. You grip his thighs pathetically and try to push away from him as your throat convulses around his cock, trying to squeeze it out.

You’re offered no mercy because it only hardens his dick more, and with a cold laugh he harshly shoves your skull further down his length till your nose is pressed against his pelvis. “Oh come on, you’re being dramatic.”

Dramatic?

You can barely breathe, growing dizzy when he finally pulls out and peers down at you as you cough a bit and regain your breath.

“Maybe it’s a good thing you’re such a sensitive little thing, because fuck, it turns me on to see you all pathetic like this.” You wish you could ask him to be gentler but you know by now that there was a good chance he’d likely just do the opposite. So instead you wipe your tears and determinedly take his dick in your hand to put it into your mouth again- though this time not all the way.

Sukuna let’s you do this without shoving himself back down your throat, watching your face and fighting the urge to let out a moan as you swirl your tongue around his swollen tip.

You gaze up at him and he inhales sharply when you dig your tongue into the divot of his frenulum, dragging your soft tongue up from it over his tip, and back down his shaft again.

His breathing grows heavier, no longer able to fight the urge to thrust in and out of your warm, wet mouth in time with your motions and the way your tongue laves so sensually all over his dick. “Shit, you like this you little cockslut? You like sucking off your big brother?”

You moan around his dick without even thinking, and Sukuna grins again. “Wow, you really are messed up.” He rasps. “Now suck my balls like a good little slut, yeah?”

He pulls his wet length out of your messy mouth, smeared with precum and saliva. You hold his cock up and close your lips around his heavy scrotum, sucking and lapping gently at the soft flesh while you stroke his shaft with your hand.

The last restraints of his control begin to crumble at the sensation, at how fucking filthy you look like this. “Ah -fuck- god, you really are nothing more than my obedient little dog, huh? I can make you do -hah- whatever the fuck I want you to…”

His grip in your hair suddenly tightens and he pulls away to shove his cock through your parted lips, unable to control the urge to fuck your mouth any longer.

The pressure is sudden and before you can adjust he’s gripping your hair so tightly you feel pinpricks on your scalp. That pain is quickly overshadowed when he begins snapping his hips back and forth at a brutal pace.

You struggle to keep your mouth open while you try not to choke on the cock slamming into the back of your throat over and over again.

“Ah, shit, you pathetic, stupid, needy little thing. You’re -hah- really worth nothing more than being a -fuck- a cocksleeve for me to use.”

You don’t notice tears are falling again, running down your cheeks and only adding to the ness of spit dribbling obscenely down your chin from where he mercilessly thrusts in and out of your mouth.

It hurts, your jaw aches and you feel like you’re suffocating on his cock abusing your throat, hoping it won’t be long till he cums because you don’t think you can keep this up much longer.

And like your prayers have been answered, suddenly he snaps his dick all the way out of your mouth and jerks it above your face before cumming with a hiss, ropes of thick hot cum spurting out and painting your whole face white. They keep coming for a few seconds more, and by the time he’s down you feel the viscous fluid dripping lewdly down your face.

He pants, eyes drinking in the sight of you kneeling with cum all over your face, and it almost makes his dick harden again. “God, you look perfect right now, sis.”

You can barely look up at him, thinking it would’ve been a lot less degrading for him to just cum down your throat than this.

Sukuna furrows his brows in mock confusion. “Where’s your gratitude? Show some thanks and lick that shit up like a properly trained mutt.”

You don’t even think, just moving automatically to swipe your fingers in the semen drying on your face, and sucking them clean. He watches you do it over and over till of it is gone into your stomach, and you look expectantly up at him.

He’s tucked himself back in, reaching forward to pet the top of your head. “Good girl. I guess you’ve earned me paying your bill, huh?”

[shouyuus]

mirror, mirror

braindump for @vifilms and i's "what if vi had a twin sister" oc au; this is so incoherent but if i didn't write it down somewhere i'd go nuts so here we go

her name is ivy. because while vander named vi, silco named vy (pronounced vee) --

"i've always like the name violet." "doctor says i've got twins -- god, when i said i wanted to double down on this zaun thing... i don't know if i meant this." silco grins, "what about the name ivy?" he glances at vander, "because violets are beautiful, certainly, but ivy... i've always admired their resilience. they'll grow so long as there's a surface for them to latch on to, and a bit of water and light." felicia smiles, "violet and ivy... yeah, i like it."

they're mirror twins -- vi's left-handed, vy's right-handed. they've both got a constellation of freckles dotted over their noses, like looking in a mirror. but they've always been kind of diametrically opposed. and the ongoing "joke" is that their names were swapped at birth, because ivy's the one who's quiet and a bit "delicate", and violet's always been the loud one, "resilience" bleeding from her in thick, angry rivulets, manifesting in street fights and bar brawls.

vy's quieter, a bit softer, but anyone who knows the pair of them knows that it's vy who's behind the scenes, her eyes sharp as broken glass, the consummate chess-player, the grandmaster behind all their ever-evolving schemes.

vi crops her hair short; vy keeps her hair long (it's her pride and joy, and there's something to be said about being able to take care of hair that long in the lanes), rolling over her shoulder and down her back in thick, dark pink waves.

when powder's old enough, it's vy who teaches powder how to braid her own hair, though powder always begs vy to do it for her, nimble fingers tugging open the braids just to do them up again. some nights, it's the only way to get powder to fall asleep.

there's a secret kind of language to sisterhood that vi and vy share (and eventually, with powder too) but it's silent -- a series of meaningful looks and micro-expressions, a twitch of the lips, a curve of the brow, a tiny wrinkle of one of their noses. usually, it'll end up with vi rolling her eyes and storming away, vy sighing as she swivels back towards vander on the bar stool, dragging vi's half drunk cup of juice towards her with a sigh.

"hey! i wasn't finished with that!" "finder's keepers," vy singsongs, but makes no move to resist as vi snatches the glass from her hands, chugging down the rest before slamming it on the bar. vander sighs, wincing. "easy on the bar-top there, kid." a second after vi storms back out of the bar, vander turns to vy with a knowing look. "alright kiddo. what did you do?" "why'dyou always think that i did something?" vander chuckles, reaching out to bop her nose. "because... i know that even if you'd never be caught dead at the scene of the crime... if i ever dusted the ten-page plan for fingerprints, i'd only ever find yours. so --" he reaches out to refill vi's empty juice glass with the magnanimity of a practice bartender before nudging it towards vy, "c'mon now -- tell me what happened."

the night of the incident (as vy's started to call it in her head), she'd fussed over vi and mylo and claggor all before they left, a small, niggling feeling in the back of her head as she'd chewed on her fingernails, powder skulking in the corner of the room, pouting, tugging at the ears of vi's old bunny stuffie.

powder had begged, cried and whined and screamed until vy had finally relented, making her pinky promise not to do anything stupid. they'd checked over her little mechanical monkey three whole times to make sure that it'd work just right this time -- not a big explosion, but just large enough to cause a distraction.

vy had made powder pinky swear to keep out of sight, to get in, create the distraction, and get out. and powder had promised (she'd promised, but vy had also broken her own end of the promise, hadn't she? she'd followed powder, even though she said she'd trust her) but she had kept the tiny blue gem a secret, from both her older sisters. for once, she wanted to be the strong one, or the smart one -- for once.

and when it all comes crashing down, vy is watching -- but she's frozen. because she's never been good at jumping in like vi has, she's never been strong like vi. all she could do was stand there, hidden up above one of the awnings at the factory, both her hands clamped over her mouth as everything went up in smoke.

when vi and vander come tumbling out of the rubble, vy hears the whip-crack in vi's voice like a gunshot through her own chest. she watches as powder screams, cries, as vi stumbles away sobbing. it isn't till silco shows up that vy realizes there's salt slicking down her own cheeks, but by then, it's already too late -- silco's got a hold of powder, and vi's already gone.

vy tips her head back, but she does not cry. she lets the rain wash down her reddened cheeks and swallows back a scream -- she thinks that she's long since lost the right to cry, the voice to scream.

things change while vi's locked up in stillwater. and it isn't till vi gets out and stumbles back into the lanes that she realizes things are different -- there's a cold war being waged between silco and one of the chembaronesses -- vi's blood runs cold when she hears of the woman's name --

poison ivy.

"what the hell's going on?" babette sighs, puffing purple smoke, "things changed when vander passed. silco's doing everything he can to flood the lanes with shimmer but --" "but?" babette takes another long drag from her pipe, "but your sister -- oh, she was always so quiet... i never thought... still, i suppose it had to be done. she's the only one who would stand up to him, and the only one smart enough to do it." "how'd she manage to stop him, all on her own?" babette breathes out, leaning back in her chair, her giant yordle ears flapping as she sets down the pipe, "she's figured out the only antidote to shimmer that anyone can get their hands on."

it wasn't easy, in those intervening years; it'd be a lie to say that ivy was the same girl who used to spend all her time with her nose buried between the pages of whatever book silco would sneak her -- because he'd always had a soft spot for her, even after vander's betrayal. and it wasn't her fault that she'd stumbled across him one day, his ankles soaking in the muck of the sump, his bad eye smarting worse than ever.

she'd long since learned that silence is a knife that cuts deeper than most words, and that stillness is the virtue of almost every unsung hero. so she stayed quiet, and she watched. she watched as the mad doctor offered shimmer to silco on a silver platter, the sickly pink of the liquid illuminating their faces from below.

"what's this?" silco had asked, taking the tube of shimmer between his long, thin fingers. dr. reveck coughs, shrugging up his bone-thin shoulders, the prolonged shimmer-exposure already showing in the heavy sag of his skin as he inches forward. "power... if you want it." silco nearly hisses as the doctor extends a hand to try and take the tube of shimmer back, his expression unhinged. vy bites back a gasp; his eye's so much worse than before, the whites completely eclipsed by shadow, an angry gray pulse oozing from it even as silco fights to keep his composure as the doctor jerks back. "it has the power to make someone stronger... though... it still needs... ah... refining," dr. reveck says. silco sighs, tossing the shimmer tube back. vy lets out an inaudible breath of relief. "fine. good. come back to me when you've got something that'll fix..." he gestures at the ruined half of his face with a dull grimace, "this."

ivy stumbles back to the loft above the last drop, the bar now ever more prosperous than it was before (she's since made several very lucrative deals with a few of the merchant families from piltover), but no one ever sees the illusive shadow that runs it anymore, and the old regulars have slowly started to dwindle.

she peels open one of the old herbariums that silco had gifted her, to the first page where a hand-written line is scribbled under the title and edition of the book --

for my favorite ivy-stalk, always remember -- it's the dose that makes the poison. - s

not a week later, a mysterious package arrives on silco's desk. he's tired, and he hasn't got the time for cryptic messages like this, though he thinks (dully) that if it's another ill-disguised attempt to kill him, that it better fucking work this time bc sending sevika after people is starting to get exhausting.

but nothing happens when he pulls open the rough paper packaging, and all that lays before him is a strange contraption that looks like a massive needle, with a tiny vial of sparkling pink shimmer.

he frowns; a note is pinned to the needle of the contraption. he picks it off with ginger fingers.

vy's neat, spikey handwriting (a bit too much like his own) leers up at him from the scrap of paper. all it says is five simple words:

the dose makes the poison.

and a tiny little stalk of ivy inked into the corner of the paper.

that same night, he calls powder (now jinx) over and hands her the strange needle contraption, settling it over his eye, holding his hands over her shaking ones.

"just like this... that's right. no, don't be scared. it won't kill me." "b-but what if it hurts you?" powder (jinx!) asks, peering up at him with those big, watery blue eyes of hers. silco sighs, loosening his grip on her tiny hands, "i'm afraid it will hurt me... but that doesn't mean it's bad for me, jinx. you see... sometimes, it's the things that hurt us... that make us into who we are."

by the time vi finds vy again, she can barely recognize the mirror image of herself -- though her heart stutters at the small tattoo inked into vy's cheek -- two roman numerals in exact replica of hers, except backwards --

IV

"hey." "vi... it's been a long time."

and it has -- but she still sees the shadows of herself in the way vy moves. it's strange, to watch this phantom of herself, all her own features, but arranged every so slightly different as vy tosses a strand of long, pink hair over her pale, moon-kissed shoulder.

"nice tattoo," vi says, grinning, motioning at the ink on her own cheek. vy grins, cocking her head. "yeah. i just... had an urge one day..." her voice is sweet, but the implication is clear. i was watching. i've always been watching. vi swallows passed the poison welling up the back of her throat, "you knew -- you knew i was in that hellhole and --" "i knew you were safe." vy's voice is level, slick as rain-damp limestone. "safe? i --" vi runs a hand through her choppy pink hair, "i spent so many nights in that stone box of a place -- praying, thinking that i might one day get back to you and powder and --" vy scoffs, "you think you had it bad there? please, vi -- i made sure you lived, didn't i?" "y-you made sure --" vi's breath jerks off in an abortive gasp; she stumbles back half a step till her back bangs against the stained glass door of what used too be vander's room. "you... knew what they were doing to me and you... you didn't --" vy purses her lips, steepling her fingers; there's a raw, blood-shot look in her baby-blue eyes. "marcus and i had an agreement," vy says, fighting to keep her voice steady, "i knew you wouldn't be in any mortal danger as long as he kept his word." vi lets out a mirthless laugh, "what happened to you? the twin sister i knew would never have watched someone suffer like that and let it happen!"

vy pushes up from behind vander's old desk, the wood thick and old and worn. and for a single second, vi stares at the mirror image of her own face, framed with longer hair, strained beneath a different expression, and she wonders dully if this is what true heartbreak felt like -- looking into the eyes of someone she'd spent her entire life thinking she knew (better than own her reflection), and finding nothing recognizable left over in their depths.

vi gasps as vy rounds the desk to pin her with a hard-lined look. and in that moment, vi realizes, rather belatedly, that neither of them are children anymore.

"time happened to me, my dear darling twin," vy says, leaning into vi's personal space, reaching out to brush a gentle thumb along vi's cheek, "and after all those years in prison, i thought you would've learned by now that time changes all of us -- even those of us who don't want to be changed."

vi learns quickly after that -- some of it caitlyn tells her, some of it, she learns on her own, just from wandering around the lanes. that vy had taken up the mantle vander had left behind, and that she'd done everything she could to keep silco from taking over the lanes in full.

she'd struck deals with the council members, the most illustrious families up above, with all the enforcers she could get her hands on before silco got to the rest of them, sat in the dark, dank, damp of the lanes and woven her silver-studded web one gossamer strand at a time.

vi had always known her twin was smart, always three steps ahead. she hadn't thought vy capable of this.

"she's a poisons expert," cait had offered, to which vi'd shrugged, grunting in acquiescence. "yeah. she's always been into plants." "she has? that's helpful information to --" "cait -- i just -- this is getting us nowhere -- i've gotta go down and talk to her again. maybe i can --" "vi, you said that the last time the pair of you talked, it didn't go well." "yes, but -- she's still my twin sister -- i know her better than anyone else. i -- i have to at least try."

their second meeting goes better, with the pair of them meeting on neutral ground -- facilitated by the firelights, who else? ekko's grown up too, much to vi's chagrin, though it seems like change is just a constant she's going to have to get used to at this point.

cait insists on coming along and vy lands one look on her before her gaze slingshots to vi's and vi flushes a deep crimson. vy scoffs, grinning as she makes a show of checking over the ends of her long, luscious pink hair, leaning against the massive tree in the firelight's hideout.

"you always did have a thing for the pretty ones," vy remarks. to which vi sputters and ekko sighs, rolling his eyes.

"can we please try to keep things civil?" he asks.

"i haven't even said anything!" vi says, throwing up her hands. but at a single cocked brow from vy, she deflates again, chewing on her lower lip, muttering to herself, her arms flexing as she clenches her fists.

"we're all here to try and come up with a plan to stop jinx --" cait says.

vi and vy both wince, the movement eerily similar.

"her name is powder."

two identical voices speak at the exact same time.

vi looks up; vy's there to catch her eyes. and for a second, they're both twelve years old again, giggling in their shared bunk after they've once again stolen the words right from each others mouths.

"jinx!" they both echo, toppling into each other.

powder peers down at them from the top bunk, her blue hair flipping over her face as she stares at her two older sisters.

"what's that mean?" she asks.

vi and vy share a look, before motioning for powder to join them. powder scampers down the ladder, almost slipping off as she thumps into the bottom bunk and crawls between her sisters, giggling as they each loop an arm around her, the three of them pressing close (vander's always said a triangle is the most stable shape of them all -- and that it can withstand any kind of pressure, any kind of storm).

"it a word people say," vi starts, glancing at vy, who picks up flawlessly --

"when you're so close," vy says, leaning in to press her cheek against powder's head --

"and you know each other so well," vi continues, mirroring the movement.

between them, powder flushes happily, reaching down to take one of their hands in each of hers.

"that you say the same thing at the exact same time!" vy finishes, giving powder's hand a squeeze.

"i thought -- i thought it was a bad thing..." powder murmurs, snuggling further between her two sisters.

vi shakes her head, "nah, that's just mylo bein' a jerk."

vy nods, "and he's always a jerk, so don't you go listening to anything he says."

powder grins, nodding.

"you know that we love you, right pow-pow?" vi asks.

powder nods, her eyes bright and wide and so, so trusting.

vy leans down to tuck a strand of hair behind powder's ear.

"and that we'll always love you more than anything in the world?" vy asks.

powder laughs, crinkling her nose.

"nuh-uh -- i'll always love you guys more."

"well, we'll love you most." vi and vy say, again, at the same time.

powder lets out a delighted squeal of laughter as the three girls fall into each other with a single, bright, triple-voiced chorus of --

"jinx!"

[mrs-monaghan]

Not to go into detail and make this long but I remember how a while ago, I was in your blog and I came across you saying;

But, it is of my personal opinion that if they broke up it would destroy JK. Jimin would be heartbroken and devastated too but it would hit JK harder.

And now that we found out Jungkook was the one to sign up for the buddy system and wrote Jimins name for who he wanted to be his partner.

https://x.com/thekmlogic/status/1881424425972814167?s=46&t=DiZ6pHHxW3ahpd70quaKnA

And it really does prove your point to a whole other level. Not that I needed another reason to believe it but because this type of love doesn’t exist for “just friends” and I’ll never know why or how people don’t see it.

We seen how deeply not having Jimin there effected Jungkook. The man was crying on live..

They went on vacations for AYS together, even back to Juju Island again, without V. Who knows about Busan after the last Juju trip.

They could last 18 months away from friends, family, ARMY, but never each other.

That’s why they’re still out and about together even on vacation.

https://x.com/stopkookminpls/status/1882055760152347025?s=46&t=DiZ6pHHxW3ahpd70quaKnA

Vmin. JiHope. Namkook. JinKook.

(My baby, Yoongi isn’t an option.)

So many close friends in BTS who could have went together. Nobody but Jikook went together. Is that not a sign something is different compared to the others?

Anybody could have went with Namjoon seeing how bad he’s struggling to be happy but no.. At the end of the day, this is just more proof on how real their relationship is.

Oh yeah! 1300% So many reasons to believe in Jikook but enlisting together... that was... that was definitely something. From what I've heard, K-taekookers stopped existing after get out of your imagination happened. Then we lost more vermin after GCF. Matter of fact many of them became jkkrs. (Unfortunately that's also when so many more were created thanks to tkk-lives, but whatever) Then more were lost after Rosebowl. And some more left after the talk during ITS 1. and of course we lost a good number after the Taennie walk in Paris. A few more left after AYS dropped but not enough stopped shipping tkk when Jikook enlisted together. But if you ask me, this is what should have had them all leaving fr fr. This... enlisting together was no small fit. Not only has it never been done before, but they really didn't have to. You know? Like u said, RM too should have enlisted with a member if it doesn't carry as much weight as we jkkrs think it does. Know it does.

It was a huge risk they took but they did it anyway because to them it was necessary.

JIKOOK👏🏽IS👏🏽MOTHERFUCKIN👏🏽REAL!!!👏🏽

So, anon is talking about this post. And while there are deeper reasons connected with their enlistment, we already know how bored JK can be without Jimin. We've seen it

(Thanks @chicknbunny13 😘)

Sidebar: boyfriend V is right there on his phone doing nothing and yet, JK is bored out of his mind. Hmm 🤔✍🏽✍🏽✍🏽✍🏽

We've seen it with every single time he came live only when Jimin left the country, talking about how he got bored and missed us.

JK is a lying liar who lies 😂 but we forgive him. If I had a Jimin I would do the same 🤣

So back to your tweet, anon. My friends and I did suspect that that's what the numbers on their helmets meant

But there was no way to be sure. All we knew to be fact was that it had to have been JK's idea.

What i love about being a Joker is that, we are never wrong. We have earned the right to be cocky. You know what I mean?

It's what happens when you actually stan the real couple. Couples, have patterns. That's why the vermin are always changing their stories... nothing about being a tkkr is consistent. Their theories change overnight depending on what they discover or decide to make up that day.

Meanwhile, Jikook are predictable because they are the true couple. And that's why when we make guesses we are rarely ever wrong.

Thanks for the tweets anon. Support Jikook for clear skin

Damn, they're fine as hell!

[venussaidso]

𝗞𝗲𝘁𝘂 𝗗𝗼𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗺𝗲𝘀 — 𝐍𝐚𝐤𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐫𝐚 𝐎𝐛𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 (part 2) 𝐨𝐟 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟏𝟎

disclaimer: some of you may recall part 2 of my ketu dominant themes post series, which i deleted due to some doubts about my findings. however, i’ve decided to remake it, so here we are. initially, this was meant to be a short post about ashwini and mula as a pairing, but it turned into something else, as i realized i still had more to say. there will be spoilers for some movies/tv shows ahead.

warnings: mentions of murder.

As mentioned before in my other posts, Ketu is known for severance and detachment, which typically applies in a spiritual sense. Ketu is the headless body, and it is associated with the dissolution of identity and disconnection from the physical world.

The fictional trope of being born artificially, which I've seen Ketu-ruled nakshatra natives be casted in, perfectly ties into this.

The detachment from the natural roots, such as having biological parents or a human upbringing, creates a sense of alienation and lack of belonging — causing confusion of one's identity and spiritual roots. This concept can also extend to Rahu, as you'll see Rahu-ruled nakshatras in this genre of film as well.

The nodes can give themes of existential crisis and uncertainty, as one can grapple with what is real to them or not. But the quintessential themes of Ketu involve confronting the void, as questions of if these artificial beings possess souls or not are often raised, as these characters can feel incomplete or hollow, connecting to Ketu’s elusive nature.

So a clone or humanoid might wrestle with their artificiality, in search for individuality, often questioning whether their emotions, memories, or humanity are even genuine — which is perfectly illustrated in the film They Cloned Tyrone, which I strongly recommend onto your watchlist. That film explores disillusionment, forcing confrontations with reality and dehumanization.

Ketu's purpose is to guide individuals toward spiritual growth and self-realization, so a humanoid transcending their artificiality or programming falls well into that, and the film They Cloned Tyrone wonderfully shows this. Even Mula ASC Sebastian Stan's Winter Soldier, though human, transcends his extreme programming to rediscover his humanity and find purpose to live.

So, as Ketu is associated with dissolution, this can relate to the stripping of one's humanity and identity, as seen with the character Bucky Barnes transitioning into the Winter Soldier. The process of separating from the material, physical, or ego — to the point of dissociation — often involves extreme levels of torture and disturbance to the mind. Because human experiments essentially push all physical and psychological limits until uncharted territory is delved into. Ketu as a whole governs hidden, mysterious realms. This concept is deeply explored through human experimentation, as it involves dehumanization and, in some storylines, is meant for the subject to be torn through down to their essence, so that a new level of consciousness arises — often in the form of superpowers, as seen with the characters Homelander and Kilgrave, both played by Magha Ascendant natives. Ketu nakshatras are tied to destruction, rebirth, and exploring uncharted territories, after all.

Now, moving on from this, there are some negative archetypes due to the void-like effect of this shadow planet, which will involve the material plane more than the spiritual, but it is in alignment with the detachment from the world as a whole — leading to illusions and even obsession. Again, Ketu is illusory in nature.

Detachment from the world often signifies ignorance, and Ketu, being Tamasic, is said to be of darkness and ignorance. The Narcissus archetype reflects this in a deeper focus, especially through the character Dorian Gray.

Narcissus, the Greek mythological figure, forever gazes into his reflection, isolated from the outside world. This captures the inward-turning energy of Ketu, where one becomes consumed by inner processes, often leading to isolation.

The disconnection from reality, the lack of depth, and self-absorption is interestingly aligned with Ketu. As I've already touched on the Ketu influence on Dorian Gray, I have been fortunate enough to find more examples from @/encbeau on Twitter regarding this archetype.

Magha Sun Ben Barnes, Mula Sun Stuart Townsend and Ashwini Sun Reeve Carney have played Dorian Gray, a character who lives to absorb worldly things and people.

He is known for pulling people in with the promise of depth, but he is fundamentally empty. This character is the literary archetype of Narcissus, being deeply obsessed with his beauty and consumed by his self-image, which ultimately leads to his downfall.

In Greek mythology, Narcissus is a very handsome hunter who becomes enamored with his reflection in the water. Falling in love with himself, he tries to grasp his reflection in the water, but he can't, much to his dismay. He dies by the pool of water, where he's been actively consuming and taking in the image of himself. Narcissus dies ultimately unfulfilled by his reflection, symbolizing Ketu's eternal void.

Ketu natives can naturally exude a level of mystery and elusiveness, which is signified by the beauty of these Narcissus-type characters, as pretty privilege is known to have an illusory effect on the mind of people and society. These characters of the Narcissus archetype reveal an underlying chaos or hollowness.

Another endearing character that initially appears as Narcissus is Fiyero Tigelaar from the film Wicked, portrayed by Ashwini Sun native Jonathan Bailey. At first, he is perceived as a self-absorbed moron who is concerned with his self-image. Although the audience soon comes to understand that he uses his charm and charisma to attract others and pull in energy. (++ The animation character Bojack Horseman, voiced by Ashwini Moon Will Arnett, is known as narcissistic).

Narcissus represents self-love and an inability to form loving relationships with others, which perfectly ties into Ketu nakshatras being found in golddigger tropes, in which these characters purposely marry for money and not love, and how such stereotypical natives find themselves in transactional relationships to fulfill their needs. Narcissists often find it difficult to love someone else, as they already struggle to love themselves enough; they don't view their partners as an individual, but more of a person to fulfill their needs. This is why narcissists are often drawn to other narcissists.

For example, both Cameron and Daphne from the series The White Lotus exhibit narcissistic tendencies, operating as self-serving within their marriage. They are different from Evelyn and Patrick in American Psycho, who don't love each other nor seem to care about each other as people, which is expected of this archetype dating itself.

Daphne is typically Ashwini, as she portrays herself as more outwardly vibrant and pleasant. While Cameron, being Mula, is overtly narcissistic. Ashwini natives in the media can be much more performative and concealing of their hollowness, as seen with Daphne. I love the interpretation that these two characters are essentially similar to one another, even though the audience has a softer spot for Daphne due to this nakshatra's charming and innocent energy. Cameron and Daphne literally fell in love with each other because they are the same person. As I said before, Ketu-Ketu can be a dynamic filled with power games. They're both definitely vampiric towards each other, but in some messed up way, that's what makes their marriage [Cameron & Daphne's] work.

Much like I've seen the same nakshatra lord pairing between Purva Phalguni and Purva Ashada, I am starting to see Mula with Ashwini as a pattern. To understand why they'd be drawn to one another beyond their mutual Ketu influence, I'd have to understand their fundamental nature and what their interactions signify.

Ashwini has to be one of the most reckless nakshatras, if not the most. First of all, this constellation cannot remain in stagnancy, otherwise it loses all of its potential. Its purpose is to individuate as a person, similarly to Jyestha nakshatra. Ashwini possesses prana energy, making it very self-powered and independent. Movement is constant, whether in thoughts or with the body. This can cause extreme impulsive actions or mental disturbances, but it all connects to the power of this nakshatra.

Ashwini has the power to reach things quickly, or quickly attain one's objectives, possessing Shidhravyapani Shakti. Practicing meditation or pranayama is important for natives under Ashwini influence. It is a Kshipra nakshatra, making it swift, in addition to it being the Star of Transport. Their movement and attainments in the material world can be inhumanly fast and debilitating for natives. Ketu is extremely magnetizing, constantly pulling in energy and heat. Co-ruling this nakshatra, which is in a Mars rashi, makes it incredibly sensitive. Late-blooming nakshatras are actually blessings, as one can handle their attainments and experiences better with age. Ashwini is not a late-blooming nakshatra, in fact, it can make natives experience events too early for their mental capacity.

The series Girlboss is based on the American businesswoman, Ashwini Sun Sophia Amoruso, who is played by Ashwini Sun Britt Robertson. Sophia is portrayed as impulsive and reckless, unable to keep a job due to her Ashwini influence. Her ungroundedness is why everybody underestimates her, which makes her feel isolated, forcing her to figure out her own individualism.

Fast as lightning, it all starts to click for her. As Ashwini brings in speed and clarity. The series makes it known that everything around her is all happening too fast, as she suddenly stumbles into creating an online business and has to learn how to be a boss. She is extremely intelligent, as well, which is why she's a quick-learner and is very resourceful. Ashwini falls in the merchant caste, making it good for business and quick decision-making. This nakshatra never slows down, so branching out through many endeavours is a theme here. There is an ability to embody a new identity anytime, as these natives can be initiators.

This has to be one of the nakshatras that get things done. Known for its vibrancy, Ashwini influence can give one a pioneering spirit and a drive for innovation, making it an excellent choice for entrepreneurs exploring new ventures. This nakshatra embodies the "Pioneer's Path," symbolized by the head of a horse which signifies initiation, swiftness, and drive. It is commonly said, by Vedic astrologers, that those seeking an auspicious nakshatra for business success or building one's own empire, Ashwini nakshatra will stand out. It is ruled by the Ashwini Kumaras, who are known to make a success of their own through efforts and relentlessness, despite all obstacles and resistance by Lord Indra. It is said by astrologers that there is exceptional growth and adaptability in businesses launched under Ashwini influence. Individuals born under this star have a natural inclination towards leadership, which contributes to the potential of being successful business pioneers. For example, Ashwini native Hailey Bieber is the driving force of Rhode’s success. She already gained recognition for her skincare routines on social media, which led to her launching her brand.

Her going from being an influencer and supermodel into being a savvy entrepreneur shows how much this nakshatra can make one go where the wind takes them, so long as the native themselves are resourceful and intelligent enough to make something long-lasting, which is the challenge here. Unlike Mula nakshatra, Ashwini doesn't necessarily dig itself deep into something, already unable to operate within stagnancy. Its shakiness can be very problematic, causing some confusion in the native's life.

Ashwini native Selena has reflected on the toll of growing up in the spotlight, dealing with intense fame too early and the pressures in meeting expectations of the industry and society. Eventually, she ventured into the beauty industry, wanting to promote individuality and self-expression through her launched brand called Rare Beauty.

This makes her an actress, singer, businesswoman, philanthropist and producer; having achieved many titles since a young age (very similar to Ashwini Moon Zendaya, who is already known for many ventures). Of course, this came with a cost. Again, Ashwini energy is severely swift, and we see how this manifested to many problems in her mind and body. I believe her Saturn nakshatra placements (Pushya ASC, Pushya Sun) helped her sustain her career and fame, as Ashwini can cause serious burnouts, and the Ketu influence could drain away everything that was worked for. In general, the fire rashis provide passion for fuel, and this nakshatra is generally said to make one overconfident, or even overly ambitious, sometimes giving the naivety of a child. It's the one Ketu nakshatra which is the least grounded, which is interesting, as I found it to be the least paired up with Jupiter nakshatras compared to the rest of the Ketu nakshatras.

Double Ashwini native, Frank Williams, is another example of Ashwini granting one the ability to venture into many things. He had a passion for car racing, which led to him being a team owner. Due to his spinal injury from a car crash, he could no longer race anymore. But his passion is what drove him, as he carried on in the scene. Fire signs are very, very relentless.

He was a racing driver, a motorsport executive, then a businessman; said to be one of the greatest Formula 1 team owners in history.

The detachment that Ketu causes on this fire sign can manifest a detached mind, helping one free from overthinking and emotional entanglement, as Ashwini overall possesses an extreme level of concentration. Swift movement and pure instinct are Ashwini's most valuable traits, as clarity and impulse arise through detachment. Attachment often fuels stagnancy, where the intellect overrides natural impulses, and this is more so Rahu's nature. While a detached mind bypasses this, allowing instinct — a deeper, primal form of intelligence — to guide actions, which is typically Ashwini at its best potential.

This explains why Serena Willaims has her Ascendant in Ashwini, and her sister, Venus Williams, has her Moon in Magha, a trine nakshatra.

Serena Williams is a prime example of Ashwini influencing detachment and instinct on the field. She had an ability to operate at such an extraordinary level which came from a combination of physical prowess, quickness, mental clarity, and a deeply intuitive connection to the game. From this physical prowess alone, it is stated that the people born under this constellation will have a huge ability to work as strong and brave men, irrespective of the individual's sex. Ashwini nakshatra embodies the power, stamina and strength of a horse.

The film Challengers (2024), starring Ashwini Moon Zendaya who plays a tennis prodigy, is said to take inspiration from Ashwini ASC Serena Williams and Ashwini Moon Naomi Osaka’s controversial 2018 US Open final.

Beth Harmon from The Queen's Gambit definitely embodies many of these Ashwini qualities. Her detachment and her fixed concentration allow her to navigate the chessboard with clarity and instinct, operating on a purely intuitive level.

The number one chess player in the world right now is Ashwini native Magnus Carlsen.

Beth Harmon's ability to tune everything out, to rely on her instinct and follow the flow of the game defines Ketu's intelligence. Validating my own theory that Ketu natives can be the "laid-back genius", the indifferent underestimated fool who goes with the flow. Such as Shikamaru Nara from Naruto, voiced by Magha Sun native Tom Gibis.

Alex Russo is another example of this lazy genius archetype. Her grades are terrible, as she lacks motivation, and she uses magic on impulse when she knows she's not supposed to. Despite all of this, she is actually very intelligent and clever. She just simply doesn't care to prove herself as anything to anyone.

Now, Mula carries a far more serious energy. This nakshatra has themes of uprooting and destruction, possessing a raw depth akin to the void. It deals with diving into the pits as it functions as a force of growth, while Ashwini deals with themes of vitality and confrontation. But Ashwini is more avoidant compared to Mula, much more resistant to the void as it wants to operate outwardly. The film Thoroughbreds is a beautiful illustration of this duo.

Mula Sun Olivia Cooke’s portrayal of Amanda perfectly encapsulates this nakshatra's ability to strip away illusions and reflect raw truths — again, uprooting and forcing growth & alignment. Due to her sociopathy, she is detached from humanity overall and has been coping through life by mimicking the emotions and actions of others – although she usually fails to pull through to that.

Claire Nakti talked about Mula's ability to peer through and see whose roots are aligned with their purpose or not, being the one nakshatra that sees beyond appearances the most. Amanda can read through people, as she's spent years studying human behaviour to disguise herself; but her energy feels more intrusive than understanding. Her stark honesty and emotional detachment unsettle Lily, who is played by Ashwini Sun Anya Taylor-Joy. Lily is avoidant compared to Amanda; her performative tendencies lining up with the outwardly vibrant, flighty nature of Ashwini.

The Mula native's uncompromising authenticity and piercing nature is a grounding catalyst to Lily reevaluating her lack of identity, as she has no idea who she is beneath her facade. Lily is quite similar to the character Patrick Bateman from American Psycho in this way, who is portrayed by Ashwini Moon native Christian Bale. Fans also speculate Lily to possibly being a psychopath, which would be fitting considering the way the film ends. This Mula-Ashwini killer duo reminded me of the real-life case of Paul Bernardo and Karla Homolka, a gruesome serial killer pair who also both have their Moons in Ashwini nakshatra.

According to Claire Nakti's Serial Killers Research Study, Moon in Ashwini was the highest placement of all. And Ketu as a nakshatra lord was the highest, which makes sense as Ketu is a Tamasic entity. A tamasic person is said to be dissatisfied, materialistic and internally empty, which supports the Ketu consuming stereotype — even the Narcissus archetype which I touched on. Under Tamas, people can be the cruelest and controlling of others. Ashwini nakshatra, possessing the purest energy of any nakshatra – being the life force – makes it explosive and active in the first place. This makes it suitable for sports, dancing, exercise, car racing and other impulsive activities. Such as murder.

In the series Penny Dreadful, Ashwini Moon Eva Green plays Vanessa Ives who becomes entangled with Dracula, played by the Mula Moon native Christian Camargo. Dracula is rooted in darkness and immortality, representing total power and destruction. This Tamasic nature of Mula is seen in his desire to possess and control her, reflecting Mula's ability to unravel and dominate.

Ashwini Moon Eva Green as Vanessa Ives and Mula Moon Christian Camargo as Dr. Alexander Sweet/Count Dracula in Penny Dreadful.

Vanessa Ives, who, despite her struggles with darkness, is representative of vitality. She is unyielding against forces that try to control her, as Ashwini is the wild horse that means to remain untamed, signifying total freedom. Dracula is drawn to her purity and the fact that she is wild and misunderstood herself, which parallels his hobby of collecting creatures of darkness (as a zoologist). This is a primary theme of this pair, in fact.

Her Ashwini energy is what ultimately resists his consuming nature, making this pair only work in equal power. I have made an observation of the Aries rashi being resistant to exploitative relationships, as they often pair with those of their equal footing.

In the Chinese drama My Journey to You, Gong Shangjue is portrayed by Mula Sun Cheng Lei, who relentlessly peers into the intentions of others, much like the character Amanda in Thoroughbreds. On the other hand, Shangguan Qian, played by Ashwini Moon Lu Yuxiao, has the ability to cloak her dark intentions with a disguise of innocence, vibrance and helpfulness in order to prey on his vulnerability.

She cleverly navigates this man's piercing gaze, creating a dynamic where her fluidity & quick wit keeps her one step ahead. The flighty nature of Ashwini is perfectly portrayed in this relationship, and so is the penetrative nature of Mula. Their dynamic is like a dance between illusion and truth, pretense and perception, a general Ketu theme which has been touched on deeper in Claire Nakti's scammer/con-artist exploration.

Despite their Ketu foundation, Ashwini and Mula are quite opposite, and they can very well balance each other out if one has both in their chart.

There can be an interplay of spontaneity and depth. Mula, being often stagnant, is able to slow down the capricious Ashwini; although the intensity and heaviness of Mula may suffocate Ashwini who is more optimistic and lighter in nature. But because of this contrast and their obvious similarities, it isn't surprising to see this pairing frequently.

Them being opposites, in their own way, can push for growth and balance. Mula is ying and Ashwini is yang, after all, but whether they are compatible or not is really another thing.

But due to their nodal influence, it can likely make a dysfunctional dynamic, especially if the natives aren't evolved or if there's a lack of a strong sense of identity, making the relationships possibly consuming and toxic. But, ultimately, Mula can be attracted to Ashwini's ungrounded, wild side; as they may feel stiffness within their own reality to some extent. While Ashwini may be attracted to Mula's ability to be stubbornly rooted and penetrative.

Examples of medias about demonic possession, which generally have Ketu nakshatra influence, include: Ashwini ASC Linda Blair who plays a young child possessed by a demon in 1973's The Exorcist. Magha Moon Patrick Wilson's character becomes possessed in Insidious: Chapter 2 when he goes into the spirit realm. The film The Possession (1981) is directed by Magha Moon & Mula ASC native Andrzej Zulawski. A little girl becomes possessed by an evil spirit in Ouija: Origin of Evil (2016), and she is played by Mula Moon Lulu Wilson.

In the film Raggedy Man (1981), Mula Sun Sissy Spacek's character lives in stagnancy. It is not until Teddy, played by Ashwini Sun Eric Roberts, offers her companionship and escapism from her inertia and struggles. Their budding romance is a bright spot in her challenging life, but as Teddy is of Ashwini influence, his presence in her life is fleeting — as though he is just passing by.

Ashwini, being ruled by Mars as well, deals with severance the most, having the ability to pull one out of darkness and cause healing, but its energy is as extremely vital as it is fleeting.

Generally, this pairing is not at all uncommon. Their individual functions are unique and can intertwine in their own way. Ashwini can be very romantic and childlike, while Mula is sterner and more ordered. In fact, amongst the three Ketu nakshatras, Mula can exhibit OCD-tendencies the most.

Mula is associated with tearing things apart and rebuilding them, and it being symbolized by a bunch of roots indicates a desire to bind or control. This energy could manifest into a relentless pursuit of "fixing" or understanding things.

In this series Money Heist: Berlin, it is revealed that the Ashwini Moon native, Cameron, portrayed by Begoña Vargas, had naively fallen in with a member of a rock band, her heartbreak leading her to a mental institution. Ashwini influence can have prominent connections to lovesickness, as seen in Romeo & Juliet, which I had briefly touched on in my "Nodal Dominant Themes — 𝐍𝐚𝐤𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐫𝐚 𝐎𝐛𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 12" post, validating its naive yet obsessive tendencies.

When Cameron is introduced into the heist team, Rio (Mula Moon native) immediately feels drawn to her. Their dynamic is established as two people who are fundamentally the same, but opposite in their approach. Rio, being Mula, is very disciplined and in control of his impulses — much like the Mula vegetarian vampire archetype, which supports the immense restraint that can be achieved from this nakshatra. Rio was once a delinquent as well, and him meeting Cameron represents danger to his long-built system of self-restraint and security. Cameron, being Ashwini, is very impulsive and reckless. She ultimately pulls Rio out of his stagnancy and inspires him into a wild, spontaneous night. Her character proves to be even more typically Ashwini as she has an affinity for racing, speed and lives for adrenaline. Also, the actress, Begoña Vargas, resembles a young Penelope Cruz in the series. Penelope Cruz does have Ashwini Ascendant.

Understanding the power of each nakshatra tells us how they'd interact with one another, and how frequent some nakshatras attract each other through natives. For example, Purva Ashada possesses the Varchagrahan Shakti, which is the power to energize, while Purva Phalguni possesses Prajanana Shakti, which is the power to procreate. Together, a dynamic is formed where one represents energy and momentum, and the other represents creation and fruition — and it helps that their foundation is Venus, their ruling nakshatra lord, which not only provides the passion that comes with the fire rashis and Venus combo, but deep understanding as well. Making sense as to why they frequently attract each other in the first place.

According to their Shaktis, Ashwini is lightness and swiftness, while Mula is considered heavy and rooted. The Ketu rulership provides a great foundation for a deep, spiritual connection. There can be a significant balance, as Ashwini's lightness comes from its ability to release burdens quickly and remain moving forward, while Mula's heaviness comes from digging deep and ridding away what no longer serves. But fundamentally, there is a mutual understanding that true freedom is found in release and severance.

To make a conclusion for all three Ketu nakshatras, Magha doesn’t operate like Ashwini in terms of reckless energy output. Magha nakshatra is more focused on sustaining its dignity, preserving its status, and fulfilling its karmic duties — making sense of its pairing with Anuradha nakshatra, which represents service, loyalty, and collaboration. While Magha dissociates and detaches to fulfill its higher calling, Anuradha is the force which grounds everything and remains devoted. Magha with Anuradha is a pair I am also seeing frequently, so I'll be able to expand on this one day.

Mula stands out as the most disciplined Ketu nakshatra, due to its ability to dig deeply into matters, constantly seeking transformation and forcing severance where needed. In contrast, Ashwini nakshatra is considered to be the most active, as it channels, and also emits, a lot of energy due to Mars. This can result in Ashwini natives draining themselves, emphasizing their need to balance activity with rest for sustainability. Magha nakshatra, on the other hand, possesses regality, being the most dignified and kingliest nakshatra of the three.

[punkrockmlchael]

"I Missed You"

Masterlist | Gareth Emerson Masterlist

Gareth Emerson x Fem!Reader

(Both Gareth and Reader are in their early 20s)

This fic is for: birthday boy pop-up event by @corrodedcoffinfest ; the prompt is “birthday”

Prompt: Birthday | Word Count: 3100 | Rating: E | POV: Reader | Relationships: Gareth Emerson x Fem!Reader | Content Warnings: Explicit Sexual Content, Mentions of Starting a Family | Tags: Gareth Emerson, Corroded Coffin, Life on the Road, Pre-Established Relationship, Birthday Boy, Celebrating Gareth's Birthday on Tour, Soft and Sweet Sex

Warnings: 18+ mdni, Pre-Established Relationship, Lovey Dovey Gareth (He just wants to make you feel good because, he missed you), Smut: Oral (Fem Receiving), Fingering, Cum Eating, Unprotected PinV, Soft and Sweet Miss You Sex (seriously you're just talking the whole time), Creampie, afab reader

Synopsis: Gareth's birthday occurred this year while on tour with Corroded Coffin, which meant that it looked a bit different. Instead of the normal breakfast in bed and day spent together you were miles apart. But, the boys of Corroded Coffin step up to help you surprise your favorite boy on a day that's all about him.

Word Count: 3.1k

Today was a day that always meant so much to you: Gareth's Birthday.

Normally, you would get up early and make your loving boyfriend some homemade pancakes flavored with some sweet almond extract and cinnamon powder, some crispy bacon and some sunny side up eggs. You'd bring him an entire feast in bed with a cup of freshly brewed hot coffee flavored with that sweet caramel creamer he enjoyed too much. Like, seriously, how did he drink his coffee that sweet? 

Normally, you would be making a cake at this time, double checking that the homemade red velvet cake was perfectly moist and baked before starting that homemade cream cheese frosting that Gareth would literally do anything for. No, really, if you left that fluffy, sweet frosting unattended on the counter he would be taking tastes of it all day, until the bowl was empty again.

This year, however, was anything but normal. No, this year Corroded Coffin was off touring the country, sharing their music with so many people. And, while you were extremely happy for your boyfriend and your friends, that meant that Gareth's birthday would look a bit... different this year.

So, instead of taking a perfectly baked cake out of the oven to cool you were rushing through the airport in Los Angeles, trying to find Jeff. He said he would be waiting for you when you landed while Eddie and Grant kept Gareth occupied so you could surprise him for his birthday while on tour.

And you were so grateful that you had such amazing friends that were willing to help you still give your boyfriend a special birthday, despite the circumstances. Those boys really loved you and Gareth, or maybe they were just sick of Gareth being an annoying lovesick boy who missed his girlfriend; either way it didn't matter to you because it meant that today you were able to see your boyfriend.

You heard your name being called and turned your head, looking in the opposite direction of where you were heading. You smiled when you saw Jeff walking towards you, arms open for a hug. "Hey you," he smiled, wrapping his arms around you. "How was your flight?"

"It was... different," you replied, looking up at Jeff. "I don’t remember the last time I had a flight on my own and today has just been weird, you know? Not really what I'm used to for Gareth's birthday... and I missed his phone call because he called me as I was walking out the door of the house and I just hope he's not mad at me." You sighed, taking a step back from Jeff.

"Oh, he won't be able to stay mad when he sees you in his hotel room. Which reminds me, we should go. You know how Gareth is, he cannot stay in one place for too long. Eddie and Grant promised they would keep him as busy as they could but, something tells me he's ready to be back in his hotel room thinking about you all alone." Jeff teased, grabbing your bag from you. You rolled your eyes and smiled, playfully hitting Jeff on the arm as you followed him out of the airport and to the taxi he had waiting for you both.

"So, how has the tour been?" You asked Jeff as you turned towards him in the backseat of the taxi. He looked at you and smiled, shrugging his shoulders.

"It's been fun, it's also been different because I feel like we are just going nonstop; I’m tired.” He admitted, “but, it’s definitely been a lot of fun.”

"Well, I hope you know that everyone back home is so proud of you guys and we all miss you like crazy," you smiled softly.

"Yeah, yeah," he said, looking at you. "You're just trying to butter me up because you want to see your boyfriend."

You gasped, placing a hand on your heart. "Come on, now. A girl can't compliment her friends?" Jeff laughed, shaking his head.

"No, she can. But, we both know as soon as you and Gareth see each other that the rest of us won't see you for the remainder of the night. You’ll be in each other's arms until tomorrow morning." He winked, smirking slightly. You blushed, trying to come up with an argument but you couldn't; Jeff was definitely right.

It had been far too long since you and Gareth had last seen each other in person. The phone calls while he was away on tour only did so much; you just longed to be back in the arms of your boyfriend for at least a night. Sleeping next to him, smelling his cologne, feeling his arms wrap around your waist and pull you closer to his body subconsciously in the middle of the night, listening to his little snores that escaped his body through the night. 

Seeing Gareth would make everything feel right again, at least, for a little bit.

So, when you finally made it to his hotel room, you set your stuff down and looked around. Yeah, this was definitely Gareth's room. There were clothes everywhere, pairs of his Converse and Vans were thrown about next to his suitcase on the floor, the little pink stuffed teddy bear you and him made together at the store in Hawkins sat on the bed perfectly. You smiled to yourself, tidying up his room slightly.

“Yes, I know,” you heard Gareth say through the door of his hotel room, you looked to the door and giggled to yourself, looking for a place to hide. You found the tiny closet and hid inside, closing the door slightly. “Thanks, guys,” Gareth added, opening the door of his hotel room. He walked inside and closed the door behind him, locking it quickly.

Gareth walked into his room, setting a box down on the little table in the corner before he sat on his bed, running his hand through his fluffy hair. “Happy birthday to me,” he mumbled to himself, lying back on his bed. You peeked your head out of the closet door, watching him as he closed his eyes, resting his hands on his head.

You slowly tiptoed out of the closet, quietly moving towards the bed where your boyfriend was lying. You sat on the bed carefully, lying back next to Gareth. He felt the bed dip, turning to look at you with a raised eyebrow. When he saw you his eyes widened and a smile appeared on his face. He rolled towards you and wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you towards his body. Gareth held you close to him, burying his head into your neck gently, “I missed you, princess,” he mumbled against your neck.

“I missed you too,” you hummed. “And, happy birthday, Gare,” you said softly, smiling as you kissed the top of his head gently and ran your fingers through his fluffy hair. He pulled away slightly and rested his head on your chest, smiling up at you like an idiot.

“What’re you doing here?” He asked, his fingers gently running up and down your side lazily. 

“What am I doing here?” You repeated, smiling at him as you pushed his soft hair out of his face. “It’s your birthday, why wouldn’t I be here?” You asked, kissing his forehead gently. 

“Well, yeah, but; okay, how did you get here?” He asked, closing his eyes at the feeling of your fingers running through his hair. 

“Jeff picked me up from the airport while Eddie and Grant were with you.” You smiled, looking at him. 

“Well, I’m really glad you’re here,” he said, moving his head closer to yours. “I thought maybe you forgot my birthday.” He admitted softly, looking at you. 

“I could never forget your birthday, babe,” you replied, leaning in to place a soft kiss on his lips. “Never,” you mumbled against his lips. He smiled into the kiss, his left hand moving up your body before stopping at your face. Gareth held your face softly, rubbing his thumb over your cheek as he deepened the kiss slightly. 

You smiled into the kiss, your right hand moving to the back of his head, your fingers tangling through his locks gently. You tugged on his hair slightly, a small groan escaping his lips. “God, I missed you,” he sighed, pulling away from the kiss. He kissed down your jaw, leaving soft and sloppy kisses on your neck. He made it to the spot on your neck that always drove you crazy and nibbled on it gently. 

You moaned softly, closing your eyes as he continued to kiss up and down your neck. “Fuck, Gareth, I missed you too.” You said softly, fingers continuing to tug on his hair. 

“I missed you so much,” he mumbled through kisses. Gareth played with the hem of your shirt before he tugged it up, pulling it over your body. He trailed kisses down your collarbones and over your chest, mumbling along the way. “I missed seeing you,” he said as he kissed across your chest. “I missed holding you,” he added, kissing down your stomach. “I missed making you feel so good and hearing you moan my name,” he muttered, kissing further and further down your stomach. He stopped at the waistband of your jeans and looked up at you, a small smirk on his face as you squirmed underneath him. 

“Gareth,” you moaned softly, looking down at him.

“Just like that, baby girl,” he said with a small cocky grin as he undid your jeans, sliding them down your legs gently. He pulled your lace panties down next, placing soft and lingering kisses up and down your thighs as he spread your legs open wide for him. 

He kissed up your thighs and across your lower stomach before leaving soft and sweet kisses on your clit gently. You moaned, your fingers moving through his hair again as he looked up at you with a smile. 

Gareth moved his arms under your thighs, pulling you closer to him before he licked a small stripe up your folds. He groaned as he tasted you, mumbling to himself. “God, baby girl, you always taste so good, missed being able to taste you.” You blushed at his words, moaning as you watched your boyfriend go back to licking up and down your folds. 

“Gareth,” you sighed softly, watching him. He hummed against you, moving to leave more kisses on your clit. He kissed it softly and sucked on it, baby blue eyes watching you as he moved his fingers to your core. He swiped up some of your slick and teased your entrance before pushing his pointer and middle finger into you slowly. You gasped at the feeling, falling back onto the bed as your fingers tightened their grip on his soft locks. 

He groaned against your clit, pumping his fingers into you slowly. “Yes, baby girl?” He asked, looking up at you.

“Feels good,” you mumbled, eyes closed as he continued to pump his fingers, curling them slightly. “Missed you, fuck, I can’t make myself feel good like you make me feel good,” you sighed, grinding against his fingers. 

“Aw, baby,” he muttered, picking up the pace with his fingers. “You flatter me,” he added, sucking softly on your clit again. You moaned louder, the grip on his hair so tight that he groaned against you. He curled his fingers again, pumping them at a faster pace as he watched you come apart above him. 

“Fuck,” you moaned, “ah, Gareth, gonna cum,” you warned, grinding against his fingers more. He moaned softly, curling his fingers again. 

“Come on, beautiful, cum for me,” he said, “let the boys and everyone else in this hotel know who makes you feel so good.” 

You moaned his name loudly, grinding against him as you clenched around his fingers releasing all over them. You loosened your grip on his hair as you fell back against the bed, breathing harder.

“Fuck, baby girl, I missed hearing you,” Gareth said softly, removing his fingers from your core. He looked up at you and winked, sucking your juices off of his fingers. “God, I missed tasting you too,” he sighed, trailing kisses up your body before he placed a soft kiss on your lips.

You groaned when you tasted yourself on his lips and moved to tug his shirt off. He pulled back from the kiss and removed his shirt before unbuttoning his jeans, sliding both them and his boxers off in one quick movement. 

Before long he was crawling back on top of you, placing another kiss on your lips. The tip of his cock teased your entrance, slotting through your folds before he slowly pushed himself inside of you. You moaned into the kiss, moving your arms around his neck as you deepened the kiss. 

“Gareth,” you moaned, looking up at him. He smiled at you as he pushed inside of you fully, staying still for a second. 

“Hi,” he said softly, leaving kisses on your neck gently. You giggled at him and moved your head to the side, allowing him more access to your neck. 

“You’re a dork,” you replied, playing with the hair at the base of his neck. 

“Mhm,” he hummed against your neck as he started to slowly thrust in and out of you. “But I’m your dork,” he replied, nipping at your neck gently. 

“Yeah,” you gasped, feeling him move slowly. “Unfortunately,” you teased, running your fingers through his hair. 

“Hey,” he pouted, pulling away from your neck. You giggled at his pout, leaning up to kiss it gently. 

“Sorry, you know how much I love you,” you mumbled as Gareth continued to rock his hips slowly, thrusting as slow and deep as he could. “You’re such an amazing boyfriend, and I love you so much,” you said, looking up at him. You moaned softly at his movements before continuing, “and, I missed you so much. I’m so happy for you and I’m so glad you’re doing what you love but it’s so lonely at home,” you added. 

“I know, baby girl,” he said softly, kissing your lips again as he thrusted deeply, staying there for a second. “I missed you too, there were countless times where I just wanted to hop on a plane and come home, you know? Say fuck the tour and come fuck you instead.” He groaned, kissing you again as he started thrusting more. 

“Mhm,” you hummed in acknowledgment as he continued thrusting. “But, baby, this is your dream,” you said softly, looking up at him. “You’ve always dreamed of touring the country, sharing your music with your friends.” 

He nodded, moaning softly. “You’re right, it is. But you’re also my dream.” 

“That’s sweet and all but.. elaborate?” You asked, leaving some kisses on his neck. 

“We’ve been together for as long as I can remember,” he started, thrusting a little faster now. “And, I just, I don’t know. I want to settle down with you at some point; you know.. get married, have a family, live a perfectly happy life together. And, if I’m on tour with the guys I just feel like I can’t do that.” He sighed, looking at you with a small frown.

“Oh, baby,” you said softly, pulling away from his neck. You looked up at him, kissing his lips lovingly. “Don’t worry about that; you know how much I love you. I want you to chase your dreams and be happy. I’ll always be right beside you cheering you on the entire time. Plus, we’re still so young; maybe we enjoy our lives for a bit before we try to throw some kids in the mix,” you suggested softly. 

“Aw, come on, you don’t want to be pregnant with my kids?” He chuckled, thrusting more. 

“Maybe someday, just not.. today,” you replied, looking up at him. 

He grunted, picking up the pace of his thrusts. “Mhm, so then, where am I cumming?” He asked, leaving kisses on your neck and chest again. 

You groaned, closing your eyes. “Fuck it, inside. It’s your birthday, after all,” you giggled softly. He moaned against your neck, his thrusts becoming sloppy.

“Are you sure?” He asked, looking at you. You nodded, biting your lip to suppress a moan. 

“Yeah, please,” you sighed, closing your eyes. Gareth moaned loudly, thrusting deep inside of you as he came, ropes of his cum coating your walls. You groaned at the feeling, clenching around him as you released around him yet again. His thrusts turned slow and sloppy, riding out of both your highs before he collapsed on top of you with a huff.

“Fuck,” he groaned, nuzzling his head into your neck as he stayed buried deep inside of you. “God, you’re perfect, I love you so fucking much. I missed you..” he sighed, wrapping his arms around your body gently.

“Mhm,” you giggled as his hair tickled your neck. “I love you too, and I missed you too. Happy birthday,” you smiled, playing with his hair gently.

“Best birthday sex ever,” he admitted, looking up at you. “Want some cake?” He asked, grinning up at you.

“Cake?” You asked, looking at him.

“Mhm,” he nodded, slowly pulling out of you with a sigh before he stood up. “I was really bummed I wasn't going to see you today but I was extremely bummed I was going to miss out on your homemade red velvet cake,” he explained as he walked towards the bathroom to clean himself up. He returned seconds later with a washcloth to help clean you up as well. “So, Eddie and Grant took me to this bakery that is supposed to be really good, but I'm not sure if anything can beat your cake, princess.” 

After cleaning you up Gareth handed you your panties and his shirt before he slid his boxers back on. You quickly got dressed and followed after him, pulling out a few small candles and some matches from your bag. “A birthday cake needs some candles,” you smiled, placing the candles in the cake.

“Where did you get the candles?” He asked, looking at you.

“Jeff gave them to me,” you replied as you lit the candles carefully. You looked at Gareth and smiled as you wrapped your arms around him. “Make a wish, Gare,” you said softly, kissing his cheek.

“Oh, believe me, my wish already came true with you, baby.” He replied, kissing your head before he looked at the cake and blew the candles out.

gareth tag list: wanna be added? comment + let me know! @keeryhours ; @darkyuffie-blog ; @luveediary ; @the-witty-pen-name ; @bastardstevie ; @pupwrites ; @swiftieintheupsidedown ; @hawkinsmafia

[muddyorbsblr]

my whole life in a moment

'one look and they'll know' collection masterlist See my full list of works here!

Placement: pre-dating era; years before the events of 'one look and they'll know'

Summary: Your boyfriend presented you with a challenge to "walk a mile in his shoes"…imagining what life would be like if you weren't in a relationship with him

Pairing: Tom Hiddleston x Reader (but not quite yet); OC x Reader (toxic…and soon to be ex)

Word Count: 2.6k

Warning/s: toxic boyfriend with more than questionable loyalty; condescending side characters (hissss); language [let me know if i missed anything!]

Things to be aware of: Reader in her sad era

It doesn't mean anything, everyone does it, your boyfriend's words tauntingly echoed in your mind. Right before you two had gone on to attend separate conventions for work, yours in Anaheim, and his somewhere closer to Big Bear, you'd caught a glimpse of his phone, seeing all the pictures of half-naked influencers in the making that he was liking and commenting on like his life depended on it.

And somehow it was your fault that you found out about how he moved around online, "because if you trusted him, you wouldn't even have reason to look". Even if he was the one who just left his phone face up and unlocked for anyone to see.

Joshua even made it seem like you were the "weird one" for admitting that you never have and you never would do that. You would never imagine what life was like with someone else because you were already in a relationship. Loyalty meant something to you, and his actions were borderline maliciously blurring the lines to the point that you had this sinking feeling in your gut.

That one day he'd blur the line so much that he would feign innocence even if he was caught with his whole three and a half inches inside someone else.

Shouldn't the only thing that matters be the fact that no matter what happens, we come home to each other? His words practically had you seething. Of course not. What mattered was that even if you were far apart, you could still manage to feel secure enough in the relationship that he would never do anything that might betray your trust.

He presented you with a challenge for this weekend, to try it out, even if just to yourself. You didn't have to talk to anyone, like anyone's posts, you just had to imagine. To just meet eyes with a random stranger and imagine what life with them would be like, how the story would play out.

To walk a mile in his shoes, he said. Which bothered you more than you cared to admit. How many lives did he already envision with other people? How many times did he look at some random stranger, or God help you, someone you already knew, and fantasized about how life would be if he were with her instead of you?

"Iced americano for Y/N!" the barista called from the counter. You had to resist the urge to roll your eyes at the way he shamelessly checked you out. "Pretty girl like you, you're probably here for the Marvel thing upstairs? Let me guess, you got the hots for a certain blond super soldier? Or maybe a blond god?"

You gave him a tight-lipped smile…or maybe it was a grimace. "Yeah no…I'm actually here for the convention next to theirs."

Joshua's challenge began to rear its ugly head in your mind again, almost daring you to assess the leering man and what life would be like if you entertained his cheesy quips. Of course, all those thoughts were shot down immediately after he opened his mouth a second time, snorting before letting out a condescending laugh.

"The stuffy nerd assembly? What, you got a thing for rickety old men with pocket protectors talking about loop-the-loops and conditioners?"

Wouldn't even get past the first date. I'll happily waste a glass of Balkan and pour it on his pants and light the fucker on fire. But then of course I'd get arrested, probably assault, possibly attempted murder. Not worth it, you thought to yourself. Damn I hate this game already.

You gave him an equally condescending smile, shifting your stance to one you were much too familiar with, having to stand up straight and square your shoulders so that the men with over-inflated egos would actually shut up and listen to what you had to say. "I'm guessing you were a jock in high school…a popular one. Maybe even Prom King. Best four years of your life?"

His smile immediately dropped, looking like you injected pure ice into his veins. Good. "H--How--?"

"You're too easy to read," you said dismissively. "For the record, it's loops and conditions. If you're gonna make fun of an entire profession, at least get the words right so you don't look too much like an idiot when words come out of your mouth. And also, I'm one of the stuffy rickety old bats presenting in the 'nerd assembly'. Have a day."

You walked away from the coffee kiosk shaking your head in disbelief. You couldn't fathom how visibly unremarkable people found the sheer audacity to pass judgment the way they did. Especially to people who worked in the very industry that was steadily taking over the world.

The very websites these people used to poke fun at people they deemed lesser to them were quite literally built by the nerds they were talking down about. With the way the world was advancing, it wouldn't be long before scams started popping up left and right that would drain people like Mr Glory Days back there of every cent of his life savings.

Hell, with the skills you had, it would just be a few keystrokes away.

You decided against playing the challenge on passing strangers, considering that the glimpses that you were getting from your two to five second eye contact with them already unsettled you.

Two dates maximum, then he'd lock eyes with someone prettier and way out of his league and stop replying to texts. Not worth it.

Clingy, mama's boy that probably wants me to quit my job and my career and all my hobbies so my life revolves around morphing into some sexualized version of his mother. Definitely not worth it.

Would beg me not even six weeks into dating to try anal, and leave me on Week 7 for his male best friend. Week 8 if I peg him. For sure not fucking worth it.

All of them led to you internally yelling "absolutely not" in the solace of your mind, and ultimately opting out of the game altogether. It was steadily turning you into a cynic, and that was the last thing you needed to be considering how you chose to spend your free time.

If you kept at this path, the next time some random actor or musician or public figure reached out to you in the dark recesses of the internet begging you to keep their debauchery secret and protect them from the scrutiny of the public eye, you might just choose to leak it yourself. That particular part of your life needed you to hold on to compassion. Needed you to remember that just because some people chose to be extra freaky behind closed doors, it didn't necessarily make them deserving of being exposed.

The only time you needed to step in was when they were actively doing harm.

So instead of the strangers passing you by, you turned the challenge on its head, in Joshua's direction. With what you knew about him, how would your life play out?

You had just moved in with him last month, although most of your belongings still remained packed in boxes because he couldn't find space in "his place" yet for some of your "girly shit". He set aside about half of one of his dresser drawers for your clothes and your instincts told you it was wise to keep a police baton there for easy access.

Just in case he'd come home a little too drunk, a little too disorderly, and a little too wishy washy on consent.

The near incendiary conversation that you two had just before you parted ways on your separate conventions served as the largest red flag that you weren't in the right place. It wasn't just the likes and the comments to the bikini-clad women, it was the text message notification that popped up before he could swipe the phone off the desk and guilt trip you into apologizing for "snooping".

It was from Tracy, one of your coworkers that was assigned to the same convention as him. I can't wait to see you later! x

Seemed innocent enough, if you hadn't known for a fact that she'd been putting the moves on him for the last few months. If you hadn't glanced upon his desk at just the right second while they were talking and you saw her hand on his leg.

His words played back in your mind again. Shouldn't the only thing that matters be the fact that no matter what happens, we come home to each other? If that was his mentality, then perhaps you had every reason to be suspicious about the times when he wasn't home.

And right in those thirty seconds that you placed your relationship under that big of a microscope, the conclusion made itself crystal clear. "I have to leave him. He's gonna betray me and I have to leave him," you said with a defeated sigh.

At least I haven't unpacked yet, you quipped at yourself. You decided to go into the large function room that was booked for your event, carving out a few minutes to make sure that your resume was in order. That was the next logical step, leaving the company. Working with him wasn't going to be an option; you knew he would twist everything to make it seem like you were belligerent and someway somehow the downfall of your relationship fell squarely on your shoulders.

And people would believe him. Why wouldn't they? He put in insurmountable amounts of effort -- not to mention money -- to shower everyone in praises and gifts and free coffees to make sure they remembered him when promotion season rolled around. He was the self-proclaimed king of small talk, and you preferred silence over menial conversation.

Of course you would have to leave the company, too. Your self-respect all but demanded it.

You pulled out your little flashcards once you finished your coffee, mentally going over your points and anticipating any jabs from Nick that might throw you off. He was the unfortunate soul that was assigned with you, and he seemed hellbent on making sure you "knew your place" being one of the younger developers on the team.

As if it was age that had anything to do with experience.

It was in having your head buried nose-deep in the cards that had you violently bumping into someone walking straight into you, knocking the cards out of your hand and nearly making you fall off balance.

"I'm sorry I wasn't looking--" you sputtered, already moving to pick up your cards.

You didn't expect for the other person to crouch down with you and lend a helping hand. "Neither was I, luv, I apologize."

Good God, what a voice, your inner whore was practically moaning in your head. That voice turned into an all out scream when you looked up and realized who you bumped into. No one could scroll on any website the last few months without his face popping up on the page at least three times in five minutes.

The knowledge that the actor actually dyed his fucking hair and now the sharp angles of his face were even more prominent being framed by the onyx curls nearly took you out. And then he looked at you, stormy blue eyes widening just the slightest as he took your own features in and you could hear his breath hitch.

"I'm terribly sorry," he said again, offering his hand to you once he stood to his feet.

Once you placed your hand in his, you could feel sparks spreading up your arm, and then quickly through the rest of your body. You couldn't help but keep his gaze with how there was this tenderness in his eyes, only breaking when he looked down to place your cards back in your hand.

"You're speaking in the convention next door, I see?"

"I uhh…" Dammit Y/N, pick your panties off the floor and use your big girl voice, you're embarrassing yourself. "I am," you told him. You couldn't fight the urge to smile, even if part of you was still bracing yourself for a reaction similar to Mr Glory Days earlier.

"Fascinating, perhaps if there are still some available seats I could stop by."

Your eyes nearly bugged out your head. "Really?" you blurted out. "You don't think they're boring and stuffy?"

He didn't miss a beat in telling you, "Not when they're facilitated by interesting people. It's always rather enlightening to get to see intelligent people in their element." He placed his hand over yours, holding them for just a moment before stepping away, as if he had to break himself out of his own thoughts. "Well erm…best of luck with your speech."

Play the game, your inner whore taunted you. Come on, it's the hot actor from Avengers, play the fucking game. You're never gonna cross paths with him again.

"You, too. Good luck, I mean. I mean you'll do great, of course you will, y'all have so much training for this--" You bit your tongue, taking a deep breath before speaking again. "I mean, thank you."

Come on, Hiddles, your pessimistic side reared its ugly head. Give me a red flag, I can't be swooning over you and your stupidly pretty face, seriously what the fuck that face with that voice shouldn't be legal.

A moment passed, and another, before his eyes flickered for a fraction of a second to your lips. But never lower. He took another step back once he broke eye contact, letting out a nervous chuckle. "I'm Tom, by the way."

"I know." The words burst out of you like you had zero filter left between your brain and your mouth. "I mean, I'm--"

"Dammit, Y/L/N, now how did I know you're dawdling about out here trying to score with an actor?" The shrill sound of Nick's ornery voice broke the moment. "Your generation really doesn't know the first damn thing about being a professional, huh."

You took a breath, clutching your cards to refrain from reaching in your bag and giving in to an intrusive thought of stabbing your coworker with a dull pencil. When you looked back at Tom, he was slowly taking a few steps backwards, pointing to the much larger hall room of the convention center. "I'm this way."

"That way," you shot back, jabbing your thumb in the opposite direction. You'd given each other an awkward wave goodbye before you finally turned and walked toward the comparatively quieter room.

Play the game, that whorish inner voice pleaded. You know you want to.

The images you allowed yourself to indulge in painted a decadent future. Picturesque date nights balanced with perfectly blissful quiet nights in. Constantly checking in on you when you were in social gatherings to make sure you were still doing alright. Goodnight and good morning and "just because" calls throughout the days, especially when you were apart.

And sweet mercy, the sex would have probably been something out of the filthiest books you'd ever read. You knew what stories about him were floating around in the forums. No stone unturned, no corner unchristened.

And he sure as shit would be packing more than three and a half inches, the voice finished off. Conclusion? Absolutely would have been fucking worth it. Now look back and see if you can check out his butt.

You decided to indulge the voice one last time, looking over your shoulder to see if you could still make him out among the crowd. And when you found him, your heart jumped straight to your throat, rendering you speechless.

Because he was looking back at you, too.

A/N: Who's gonna tell these flirty babies that they reunite again in a few years and get married? 🥹👀 Also I've been thinking on what Reader's backstory before crossing paths again with Tom at the set of Ragnarok would be, and so some of the bits that I'll write for the series will be Reader-centric, kind of building on her character and touching on the ways she was constantly going "Yeah no way I get with someone like him" only to end up with Tom at the end of her sad meow meow era 💖

Also…Tom's basically the only male character in here that I didn't want to pummel with a baseball bat, and I can confirm that I have had "men" in my life that treated me the way Joshua treats Reader, scoffed at me the way Mr Glory Days barista did, and belittle me the way Nick the coworker did. It's been a rough 8 years 🤪

Ooh, also this is the song that inspired this story:

'everything' taglist: @simplyholl @loopsisloops @imalovernotahater @coldnique @loz-3 @huntress-artemiss @salempoe @vickie5446 @athalialaufeyson @lokiprompts @kats72 @kikster606 @asgards-princess-of-mischief @lokixryss @thomase1 @mischief2sarawr @lovingchoices14 @lunarnights95 @goblingirlsarah @iamlokisgloriouspurpose @creationsbyme @maple-seed @mjsthrillernp @ladyofthestayingpower @mygfloki @sititran @glitterylokislut @ozymdias @fictive-sl0th  @lokidbadguy @mochie85 @silverfire475 @joyful-enchantress @elizabethmidnight2017 @holdmytesseract @smolvenger @gigglingtiggerv2 @lokidokieokie

@superficialdomina @kmc1989 @november-rayne @goddessofwonderland @buttercupcookies-blog @peaky-marvel @lokiified @dryyoursaltyoceantears @herdetectivetheorist @alexakeyloveloki @lulubelle814 @jaidenhawke

[apomaro-mellow]

The Road to You 1/? Read on AO3

Another one from the steddie fic adoption community!

A lot of things happen after beating the Upside Down for good. Somehow the most surprising part of it all for Steve is becoming Eddie's roadie.

“They’re singing about infidelity, Stevennnn.”

“Play the tape again and actually listen to it. They’re singing about how they’re not gonna cheat.”

Eddie was laid up in a hospital bed. The stereo was seated on the table next him and Steve in the chair next to the bed. Robin was in a chair at the far end, her feet propped up onto the edge of the bed. All three of them were eating jello.

“They said they’d marry this chick if they were free. What d’you make of that?”

“IF they were free. IF”, Steve said, finger wagging to make his point. “They wanna marry Girl #1 but they’re gonna stay loyal to Girl #2, their wife.”

“See, it’s the fact you think this hussy they’re singing to is Girl #1. Why isn’t Girl #1 the wife? Pretty reductive if you ask me, wouldn’t you agree, Bucks?”

Robin snorted. “You just called one of them a hussy, so I’d find that pretty reductive. If we really wanna get into it, let’s talk about the women in this song. One’s living in a loveless marriage and the other’s got this guy pining after her, basically telling her, he’d leave his wife for her.”

“It’s Bay City Rollers, you guys. It’s not supposed to be a sad song”, Steve said.

“Copacabana is an upbeat song and it’s the saddest story I’ve ever heard”, Robin said while Eddie nodded in agreement.

Steve threw his hands up and his eyes went to the sky. “What’s sad about Copacabana? You literally can’t sing it without dancing.”

“Steeeve Harrington dancing to Barry Manilow? This I gotta see”, Eddie said, searching through the tapes that were sitting by his legs. 

“Don’t have the tape, but apparently Steve knows all the words”, Robin grinned.

“Don’t challenge me with a good time Robin”, Steve said. “It’s about a club in Havana.”

“It’s about what happens IN that club. Go ahead”, Robin urged. “Start from the part about Rico.”

Steve hummed the tune, starting from the first chorus. “~His name was Rico~He wore a diamond~” He mumbled through more of it, shimmying a little in his chair as he went through the song. “Hm~hm~called her over~But Rico went a bit to far~Tony sailed across the bar…holy shit.”

“You get it yet?”, Eddie grinned.

“Tony got shot!”

“That’s not something you’d like to hear in a hospital”, Dr. Hudson said. She came to the empty side of Eddie’s bed.

Eddie might’ve thought twice about letting himself be bat bait if he knew how much recovery he’d need. He’d still do it, but he’d at least give it a second thought. Doing so meant two weeks in a coma, extensive surgery and another two weeks basically strapped to a bed after that. And of course, in all that time, he was banned from eating all the things that made him happy. All his nutrients were from a tube. Today was the first time they let him eat anything solid in a whole month.

Steve and Robin got out of the way for his check up. They weren’t expecting much of a change. Eddie was healing, but it would be slow. Steve still had to change his bandages. He could go longer without a change than he needed weeks ago, but still, his sides were fragile. Every time he visited Eddie, he was shown how much worse it could have been had he and the others not arrived in time to save him.

Life had gone back to a weird sort of normal for Hawkins after beating Vecna. An earthquake explained away everything but people still left and there were plenty who still stayed in shelters, having been displaced from their homes. School held out for the rest of April, but it was decided that since the senior graduation was set for May, they may as well let out the schools then, just to have more space for the people living in the gym of Hawkins High. Doing this would also open up the middle school for shelter space too.

No one had brought up graduation around Eddie. Steve and Robin talked about it a lot, mostly to help her work through what she was going to do after. She’d been accepted to three colleges. But fall seemed so far away and she couldn’t imagine leaving Hawkins right now. Especially when Steve himself didn’t seem to have any plans.

Family Video had been miraculously spared from the damage. They’d quit in unison anyway. It all just seemed so trivial in the aftermath. Robin had asked what Steve was going to do once she went off to college. He’d given her a joke of an answer but she knew how to read between the lines. She knew he had no plans beyond what he did each day. And that worried her. Made her feel like if she left, he’d fall apart.

Sometimes it felt like the two of them against the world. If that was true, maybe he wouldn’t be opposed to following her to college? The idea seemed novel, almost romantic, and it would definitely give people the wrong idea but she didn’t care.

----------------------

After dropping Robin off, Steve got to his house. He could hear his mother’s heels clicking on the wooden floors and her berating someone before he even opened the door. He sighed before opening it just in time to see her slam the phone back onto the hook.

“Unbelievable!”, she said to herself, hands on her hips before she realized Steve was home. Then she turned the conversation towards him. “Well we can’t sell the house. The market is in shambles.”

“The inspector said our house is fine though, right?”, Steve asked.

“No one will buy a house in a town of murders! That Munson boy has ruined what little dignity Hawkins had.” She shook her head. “We’ve always been too good for this town and now we can’t leave.”

“What about the cabin?”

“Steven, that’s a vacation home. It’s not meant to be a permanent residence.” She sighed just as Steve’s father came downstairs, loosening his tie.

“Sounds like bad news from the realtor.”

“I’m not taking that price. I’ll burn this house down with all of us in it before I take that insult!”, his mother shouted, walking off and into the living room. His dad followed, already starting to soothe her.

Steve headed straight to the kitchen. Jello could only satisfy one so much. He could hear his parents talking, but not make out the words. He stopped mentioning how lucky they were to still have their house, to be alive, and that Eddie wasn’t responsible for any of this. His parents didn’t care about any of that. He made two quick sandwiches, grabbed a bag of chips and a soda and disappeared into his room, lest his father ask about his job prospects again.

Standing behind a counter again didn’t sound appealing. And he knew his dad was getting to the point where he might just give him a job, but standing behind a desk wasn’t what he wanted either. Steve didn’t know what he wanted. He knew what he liked. He knew what made him happy. Somehow, talking to Eddie almost everyday became one of those things. But no one was paying him to talk to his friends.

But for now, spring would be turning into summer soon. Steve could focus on that, Eddie’s recovery, Robin’s college prep, and helping turn the freshies into sophomores. The Upside Down was gone, all the monsters were dead and all his friends were alive. Life couldn’t throw anymore curveballs his way. Right?

Part 2 coming soon

[fatcatlittlebox]

I had an ask about why there is a difference in the scene where Halbrand returns Valandil’s sword vs the scene in the forge that I just analyzed and I think it’s an important answer. Firstly, shots of hands always signify something in cinema. Where they are placed, who they belong to, what is being exchanged and even the movements. I could write a whole thesis on Spielberg’s use of it in his films. And it’s no different in TROP. Hands convey intention, intimacy, ownership, emotion. Alot. Charlotte Brandstrom was even asked about the closeup shot of Adar's hand in an interview. The reporter asked her specifically about the scene where Adar is planting seeds in season 1 and this is what she said:

CB: I always start, I mean, first of all, visually, I always like to start with a character moment and not with a geographic moment. I don’t like to find out where I am, but I want to know what it is about. So by starting on a very tight insert of the seeds, I make it mysterious, and I think it’s more gripping because you want to find out more, and it says something right away about the character. And then I cut to wide, and it’s a tendency that I’ve developed more and more, always starting small and going wide, because I feel you sort of grab the audience’s attention and you also, I mean, as I said, you create small character moments, and those are the moments that most important I think in the story. (x)

So there you have it. The director is straight telling you that if you seek insight into these characters, it’s in these small, close details. And they purposefully edit it to keep it ambiguous. Not because they want to keep it vague. It's because there is the suggestion that there's probably more than meets the eye. There are multiple clues and multiple layers at play. These visual clues are supposed to be revisited and reinterpreted.

I bring this up because those close up details are a key difference in the scenes. So, let’s contrast the two: one in which Halbrand returns Valandil's sword to him. It may seem the two scenarios are very similar but there's more to it. As I said --it comes down to the details. In this case, their hands. Notably, you never see their hands in the same frame of this scene. Not in a close-up. Not when the sword is exchanged. There isn't anything sinister about it. It's just not emotional or personal. There is no subtextual communication here between the Valandil and Halbrand. Because this gesture isn’t meant for him. It’s meant for the elf standing behind him. And Galadriel in the background isn’t coincidental. You see the camera subtly shift from right to left to catch Galadriel witnessing Sauron offer the sword. Again, this act is meant for her.

Later, with Galadriel in the forge, the context changes the whole subtext of the knife exchange. First, Sauron can’t help but draw her closer. So he feigns dropping the sheath of the knife so she rushes to his side. The proximity is intimate, charged. Then, there is the act itself of placing the knife in front of her. In the context of Galadriel pleading with him to join her cause, this gesture can be interpreted as symbolic of his acquiescence. A sign of his allegiance, his loyalty and ultimately a pledge of his life. But an added layer to this (after it is revealed that Halbrand had been Sauron), is the deeper, more earth-shattering meaning: he is offering to pay his penance. Sauron, repentant, apologizes in this scene. And this act is subconsciously meant as proof of his contrition. He was this close to facing judgement. Hers. He was this close to telling her and putting himself at her mercy, as if to say, “Here it is. The peace you seek. Seize this dagger and end it all. Take your revenge.”

Between this knife, Valandil's sword and all the way back to when Sauron returns her brother's dagger, he has been telegraphing his loyalty and allegiance to Galadriel every step of the way. That was no ruse. It was not a ploy. Whether this was subconscious on his part or not, his intention had been consistent and genuine. He was offering himself.

Instead, she counters his offer with one of her own. Not knowing she was increasing the stakes. “Bind yourself to me.” No peace shall be found except at her side. And Sauron foolishly convinces himself into believing that this will balance their scales. It is his arrogance (somewhat delusional) the idea that he could be the architect of her pain, and the author of her deliverance. And yet that is very in keeping with his hubris.