#And so the worry persists
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The inexplicable concern over jinxing things by watching live vs the undisclosable sense of responsibility to be part of the initial viewing audience. Yikes.
#buddie#anxiety things#this is so silly#but it’s like how I worry I jinx a sports team I root for when I watch a game#There’s not enough evidence one way or the other#And so the worry persists#And that’s on hyperfixation#And that’s on adhd
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I didn't get pics I didn't get pics my phone was in the bedroom charging but FANCY IS PLAYING WITH THEM. Not next TO them but INITIATING PLAY WITH THEM.
Not bitchily, not reluctantly, not with a short temper, not tolerating THEIR advances, but making her OWN advances! Inviting them in!!!!!! Even the detested Junie!
CRYINGGGGGG.
#oh my god you guys if this persists i can stop worrying completely and the babies can STAY#we can have another little man again and another terrible girl!#and this house could feel like a home again#if Fancy is willing to tolerate them they can stay with us and be OURS#i don't know if y'all realize just how much i have been holding back#not on their care or training or how much affection i show them but in MY HEART#i said Jasper's name earlier and he came trotting over just to be petted#finally#FINALLY!#maybe this will work#please let this work PLEASE i am going to love him SO much#also Fancy baby we also got them for YOU as friends for YOU so you wouldn't be alone in your grief either in ways WE could never help heal#please LOVE THEM they are so ready to love you they look up to you so much#or Jasper does anyway#I think Junie is just a little beast who respects nothing and no-one#but Jasper has a sweet heart
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pest control TWO!!!!! heres the first one
adn heres the obligatory bonus bc i can't help myself :')
#i already threatened that little basard twice in these i may as well make good on it#pizza tower#peppino spaghetti#fake peppino#the noise#fp ''oh god wait that is not a real rat and also tastes awful'' moments. he doesnt actually have any interest in eating that thang ok#even if seeing a small scampering little guy like that WILL activate his prey drive without fail#peppino loves it he thinks it's the funniest shit in the world for fp to go after noise. so he is always encouraging this.#but anyway yeah. fp is *really* not the one noise should be worried about.#arting#pizzaposting#i still have lots of tag room thjis time so im gonna do some tangential nonsense rambling. e#fp gotta be like crazy good at hunting i think. not just for strength and predator instincts but also bc like#he doesn't have much in the way of a scent or body heat or anything that would give him away as an alive thing#not to mention he's uh... not particularly organically-shaped a lot of the time#so esp. to smaller prey that don't like... memorize a landscape; if he holds very still he's like completely undetectable#total ambush king. though i'm sure hes also very good at#persistence and pursuit hunting since he has peppino's speed and no way of getting muscle fatigue. ultimate beast#fortunately he doesnt care that much and doesnt really need to eat so hes not devastating the local ecosystem or anything#except for the rats.
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ughghg hi i hate to be serious or be such a downer but i really need to put this out there because some people are getting too comfortable.
but then again it's partially my fault because i let it happen --
this is more pointed towards strangers, so if you know we're friends/mutuals you're cool 🫶
anyways just want to point out that if we're not close especially, it doesn't give you an excuse to treat me like i'll be fine with everything that you'll say.
i can handle jokes, i love joking unseriously with anyone, and i just love talking with people in general and usually the interactions aren't that deep.
but there's a line between genuine playfulness and thinly-veiled insults/mockery. saying "sorry" or anything like "/j" doesnt change that.
and yeah i'm aware this is especially hard to discern because people's actual tone over the internet can be perceived differently. and sometimes people aren't aware that they're being rude. so that's why i usually give people another chance.
it's just to the point that when it happens over and over again where it stops being coincidental. plus i usually just try to trust my gut whenever i feel uncomfortable with people from the get-go.
idk what else to say but please remember i'm also just another person. and that applies to everyone else here. you're free to say whatever you want but that doesn't mean you're free from any pushback.
#[—✦ rambling#anyways sorry for this rant omg 🧍#i've been debating on whether or not i wanted to post this#but idk it feels important to put out there#also also idk if this would even do anything bc people will just say whatever they want anyway#and i cant really avoid that 😭#im also afraid if i worded things wrong but LMAo i'll deal with the consequences later too if so#again if you're worried that it's about you IT'S NOT- this has been going on for a while#and i've already blocked the offending parties so if you're seeing this post you're good!! 👍#+ if i consider you a friend and if anything happens i'll bring it up with you instead anyway 😭#and if you've recently sent me anything i'll get to yall like i normally would later after i destress gjsdlkfsd#some people are just really ;;; persistent on forcing you to be friends with them instead of it being natural#sometimes i just click with people immediately and sometimes it takes time but that doesnt mean i dont value one over the other more#agh i really hope i dont have to post anything like this again#i really want this blog to be a safe space#but this is more for my personal comfort as well 😭<3
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multishipping is a superpower you neeeeeeeeeeed to have when you love getting into shitty gay media with found family because OF course they're going to make an incest map of all the characters and your otp will almost definitely not be endgame. of course they're going to pair the main guy and girl together as endgame just because. and I mean you COULD be a hater about it and curse the writers and throw a four year long fit but it's so much more fun when you just make your peace with the fact that this was always going to happen and pretend everyone is in a happy little polycule as they go through 18575879 different pairings you know aren't going to last because fandom and just the experience of being a fan is so much more fun that way!!!
#like one thing about me is i almost NEVER get the ship i want in any show ever#but WE PERSIST WE ADAPT#every ship has their moments! romance is dumb anyway but it's nice to see different characters connecting#some of yall were clearly not raised on glee smh#like as long as the characters experience new things and grow you know. a show is more than one ship#hsmtmts#glee#jane the virgin#never have i ever#love victor#community#xo kitty#there are sooooooo many of these I've lost count lol#heartbreak high#we are lady parts#walp#htgawm#pretty little liars#descendants#doafp#don't worry on the flip side i also support being a hater. god knows i was the biggest hater of the main ship on SO many of these shows#at one point#but it's just...easier for you...when you learn to make peace with allos being gross lol#like god knows i would NAWT write jafael or rina endgame in any universe#but at the end of the day...sigh...im just glad the lomls jane and gina are happy ig#i love seeing them all cute and happy and even the men have their moments sometimes#the only love triangle i have ever won in my life is cazzie and im still gloating over it 3 years later. so.#oh and maybe benvi ig#ginny and georgia#girlblogging.pdf
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Kicked out of goth nite for looking like if one of the cats from cats was Halloween themed
#REAL ALIEN CAUGHT ON FILM#don’t worry abt how messy my room is okayyyy#it is WARM as hell out & I am all alone but I persist. trying this whole ‘doing it scared’ thing you guys keep hyping up#I think a bay flew over my head as I was walking out of the house so it should go well for me#*bat
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He found out he’s not the highest rated anymore….isn’t taking it too well <<
#wallowing in that feeling of missing out or not being good enough for others standards (or even your own tbh) :))#no but actually I hope no one takes this post the wrong way#it was actually very therapeutic to draw this?#I know some people don’t like seeing their comfort character in distress but for me it’s almost reassuring#knowing that even this silly guy has hard days. Makes them feel human and sympathetic?#like they understand hardships and still persist despite it all#I hope no one takes offense :( don’t worry he’ll be feeling better about it soon enough 💜#but I also have no issues with this art being taken humorous#(because he do be ugly crying like a desperate teenager that got rejected)#reminds me of the ‘no your cringe’ meme someone else drew Mr. Puzzles too lol#so you can interpret this art as serious or silly I don’t care either way honestly#My inspiration here is that after he was defeated he kinda spent a couple days upset about it#started to cut apart star shaped fairy lights in frustration and cut out paper to resemble stars he wished he could have#just kinda going berserk in outrage obsessing over star shaped objects to fill that void#hence why it looks like there’s arts & crafts and Star glitter everywhere on the floor lol#but like I said you can make up your own story and narrative for it <3#hplonesome art#mr puzzles fanart#cw crying#tw crying#mr puzzles crying#crying mr puzzles#smg4 mr puzzles fanart
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One of you booped me 200 times last night so good morning, I am battered and bruised.
#holly says hi#don't worry I find it hilarious but I'm also kinda baffled by the persistent dedication#I was so confused when I checked my phone and saw all those 99+s in my notes#only 20 boops were from my friend attacking my main but the rest? well.
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hey man. you mind if i bleed all over your kitchen. thanks
(he/it)
(click for better quality)
with his attitude you’d think he would do nothing but complain about injuries but i don’t think so. this is the guy who’s monologued about the strong destroying the weak and that being how the world works. i think he would rather shoot himself in the foot before he lets on that something is bothering him before the cadou heals it
#another 20 trillion to characters fixing wounds on the ones they love#in my beautiful little mind ed occasionally gets lycans around his property-#-and offhandedly complains of some persistence ones once and karl decides to go nip it in the bud himself without saying anything#in my head he was just going to see where they were nested up around the property and then come back-#-so he just left that obnoxious hammer at home. but they ended up being there as you can see#ed would not have cared if he wanted to deal with it if there had been a warning beforehand 😭#but later on (moreso immediately after this situation) ed starts looking for repellents to put around his property-#-so this doesn’t happen again. unfortunately he can only worry so much#my stuff#my art#self ship#self insert#gore
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If i didnt doodle this nobody wouldve.. consider
Never ask me to do christmas art im still in January of 2020.
Have a bonus phantom
#mutedeclipse#digital art#bomberman#phantom bomber#golem bomber#plasma bomber#magnet bomber#karaoke bomber#christmas#digital sketch#phantom is in the rafters dont worry thats his enrichment time#magnet insists on doing the star#karaoke is very particular about decorating#and plasma is trying his best#this sucks really bad but im badly depressed this month so shits hard ykno ! i persist despite it all and will probably thrive eventually
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Ive watched like one hour's worth of a udg playthrough and I have a few thoughts
WHY ARE THERE LIKE 5 DIFFERENT ART/ANIMATION STYLES
How the fuck did Komaru survive that helicopter crash
I did NOT Expect komaeda to show up this early on holy shit
#shut up me#udg#That was fun im having fun so far#Im only watching episodes once a week so. maybe ill keep posting my thoughts like this#er- well i do actually have a 4th major thought but its not fun#They are ALREADY. doing kotoko dirty. and I am so fucking worried about her part of the game#ive heard a bit about her character but i dont know any details and I am deeply concerned#but anyways. we persist
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do not think about evenly distributed chapter length, evenly distributed chapter length is the little death that brings about total writer's block, uneven length in chapters can't hurt you, do not think about evenly distri
#me looking a the wordcounts of different sections of this wip: what is going on here#this is going to be. a monster to write. but we persist.#well. or we stop and completely focus on the valentines wip so it can actually be posted in six weeks but i dont know if i have that kind o#dedication. might end up being a perfect valentines day 2025 isntead ya know#hmmmm ANYWAY what was i worrying about#oh yeah even chapters#ha ha ha. no. they're not going to be even and i accept that now so we can move on in writing it.
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a once in a lifetime miracle: oc art!! this is Shiva.
doodles from a month or so, but i cant really draw properly right now. but i wanted to do something meanwhile so i colored these :33
#oc art#i would explain a bit about Shiva but i think its way funnier if leave these images here without any context#it is up for you to guess what this thing is meant to be and what it's thinking#anyway about my drawing predictment this month#IT IS ART FIGHT MONTH and IM JEALOUS!! IM JEALOUS!!! want to participate SO BAD but i can't so i had to make SOMETHING#even if it was coloring month old doodles because i cant reallt draw properly rigjt now😞#my body knows its art fight month and taunts me by making my hands hurt more than usual😭#and the flood is coming too and its like... you know what?? you can't draw now we say no#the uterus says no the hormones say no#so i cant really draw properly even outside of artfight right now BWUAHHH😭😭😭 please be patient#a bit sad because this is the second year i cant participate over this YET TO BE CLINICALLY DIAGNOSED PERSISTANT PAIN OF 2 YEARS#((glance at medical system i hate the medical system here its so bad might as well have lit money on fire by this point😭))#BUT ANYWAY I AM STILL FULL OF IDEAS THOUGH#SO ONCE THE FLOOD IS OVER I HAVE AN IDEA OF WHAT TO DO!!!!! i just cant get my brain to work properly right now WWW#so do not worry... you will all be fed... I'll survive the hand pain of july🩷... HOPEFULLY DUNNO HOW TO TURN IT DOWN A BIT#please pray for the daily body pains to be lowered to their usual level so i can use my hands again once the flood is over thank you😊
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I might need to go to urgent care but my clothes are in the wash so no I dont
#I'll be fine don't worry#it's a persistent stabbing pain in my left side and I'm 99% sure it's my spleen being funny about me smoking too much weed#so I'm not partaking tonight and if it persistents into tomorrow I'll go in after work#ughhh i do feel like shit tho
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#the secret to making friends is to let yourself annoy them#this is a joke but im also being completely serious#all my life I've been too apprehensive to make the first move because im always afraid of being bothersome#but looking back at the friendships through the past 4years at uni... im so lucky that a lot of people didn't worry about bothering me#and decided to come up and initiate conversation anyway#and also. whenever anyone has 'bothered me' by asking about me or wanting to know more... I have only felt loved and special...#so i guess what im trying to say is that#cringe culture is dead and theres nothing cool about prioritizing how you appear over the potential of a real bond#and I was born to be persistent and curious#so yeah. now that my graduate program will start in a couple months and there are opportunities to get acquainted with my classmates#I reach out to people with no attempt to hide my enthusiasm in getting to know them.#I double/triple text a lot and annoy them (affectionate) like i do my bffs and its incredible how 9/10 reciprocate that energy so quick#and despite the cultural differences and minor mistranslations/miscommunications we still manage to find common interests to discuss about#and it's like '!!!!!!! we're besties now'#yeah sure sometimes people might get a bit uncomfy and by the second message if i feel like I'm disturbing them I back off#but i won't know that until i reach out in the first place. so all in all this has worked really well for me and i love itttt#megumi in the tags
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I honestly thought I didn't really have much chest dysphoria (small chested) but it's been several days since I put binding tape on as I had been careless removing it and scabbed the skin, and it feels terrible. I have a day's break every week or so which is just about doable but not this. Good thing my skin is better
#cw dysporia#it's like the feel of them#i've been hung up recently about how i didn't used to mind them/wanted them bigger even because i wanted attention from men#but back then i was not at all present in my own body so that probably helped in a fucked up way#i think i worry too much that i will somehow give the impression that i had rapid onset gender dysphoria or something#because in truth if you heal enough to become present in your body again and then start getting dysphoria it may seem pretty rapid#but i think what is implied in the (bullshit) concept rapid onset gd is that it there is risk it will go away again just as quickly#and that doesn't seem to be happening#i know rapid onset gd is by design a transphobic disinformation tactic#but i can't help but think that dysphoria that comes on rapidly and persists#and dysphoria that develops slowly and persists#are not very different at all.#but who am i kidding if you are a young person it seems like the only way to avoid a 'diagnosis' of rapid onset gd#is if you mention your dysporia early and often to your parents or guardians#that's literally it because adults don't believe children and teens have inner lives they might not know about
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