#And seeing it warn me that I didn’t have windows 95 or 98

[bratshaws]

through the hourglass 124. brb x oc

a/n: my day is going a bit intense and I don't know how to feel about it. hah. just...send good vibes guys, pls. reblogs and comments are super encouraged <3333

pairing: plus size!oc x rooster

warnings: none.

goodness gracious (pls read this one to know more what this fic is about!!)

chapter

1/

/70/71/72/73/74/75/76/77/78/79/80/81/82/83/84/85/86/87/88

/89/90/91/92/93/94/95/96/97/98/99/100/101/102/103/104/105

/106/107/108/109/110/111/112/113/114/115/116/117/118/119/120/121

/122/123

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-

Nicole loved going out with her parents, it was one of the few things her still developing mind could connect with fun. That and spending time with both of her grandparents. She was still six months old, still a baby but she was very alert.

Her doctors often told her parents how smart she was for such a young age, in fact they mentioned that she might expand her vocabulary really soon, maybe sooner than any of them expected. So to her, looking out of the window from her little seat as her father drove them somewhere was enough to catch her attention, “Aa?” she stares at the window, making Beatrice look at her then to see what she was so intrigued by.

There was a huge billboard with a dog on it, a pitbull that resembled Jolene a whole lot. “I know, honey. It’s a dog.” her mother says, “It looks like Jojo,doesn’t it?”

“Buh buh buh.” she giggles, kicking her little legs, those tiny Mary Janes were making their daughter look like a little doll, “Ha!”

Beatrice smiles, rubbing her daughter’s leg fondly before she goes back to her original position, “Well, at least she’s having fun.” she sighs, sinking a bit in her seat, “I’m so…nervous.”

Rooster hummed, dropping one of his hands from the wheel to land on her thigh, gently rubbing the denim covered limb with his thumb as he paid attention to the road, ‘I know,me too.” he says, “I don’t know why, considering the why was dealt with.”

“I think it has to do mainly with the fact we are coming back to the clinic six months after Nicole was born?”

A pause.

“That could be it.” was his muttered reply, followed by a clearing of his throat that turned into a short chuckle as he removed the hand from her leg to hold onto the steering wheel, it’s twin coming up to his face to hold his head up as his elbow stayed on the window, “It’s not that weird,there are people who had babies three months apart.”

“That’s…” she frowns, “I don’t know how to feel about that.”

“I mean at least we waited– well not waited because it wasn’t planned but uh…we didn’t did it so soon.”

The silence that followed was humorous and worrisome, because both of them just looked so confused by this situation it was hilarious. So much so that Nicole herself started giggling, even if she had no idea what was going on,”I mean I guess.” Beatrice’s mouth curved into a smile when she heard Nicole’s laughing, there was no way to be worried when that little girl giggled, she just made all the fears melt away, “I just hope it goes well, you know? And figure out how far along I am.”

“How far along do you think you are?” he asks, “Any idea?”

“I’ve looked it up on the old flier I got at the clinic and apparently it’s one month along…I think.” she didn’t seem to trust her own words, in fact she looked even more conflicted, “I’m trying to remember if I got my period last month….um…” she holds her forehead and clenches her eyes, “I don’t know if I did, I could check my calendar but I don’t know.”

“I think it’s better if we just check at the clinic,gorgeous.”

“Yeah…yeah you are right.”

Beatrice just chewed the side of her mouth in thought, still mentally counting the days in her fingers, calculating, moving her fingers in a square, then a circle, with her brows furrowed because obviously there was a way of knowing.

Bradley just offered his wife a little smile, then patted her thigh fondly because he knew she was trying to soothe her nerves. The rest of the week was…fine. People still questioned if everything was okay because both of them looked way too happy but quickly dropped it once they mentioned anything about Nikki.

Was it wrong?

Not really considering their daughter was getting bigger and bigger and achieving so much so soon.

Speaking of her, Rooster looked at her through the mirror, her sandy brown hair was pulled into two low pigtails and her pink dress with shorts made her look like a little princess. She just looked out of the window, with pure amazement because everything was so new to her, everything infatuated her so nicely, she was an amazing little baby.

And Rooster didn’t want to miss those moments.

He hadn’t told Beatrice about the…possible special mission after the holidays, whatever it was it needed a lot of research. If they had time to figure out how to do it, it meant they got the advantage…possibly. The last time they had at least a few weeks to prepare, maybe even a month if he wasn’t wrong and it was dangerous as fuck.

Whatever it was he had to mentally prepare for when he had to leave…which part of him didn’t want to, not really, he wanted to stay but he couldn’t. He had been having a lot of these thoughts lately, these conflicting moments in his mind that sometimes weighed too much for him to handle.

He decided to focus on always coming back home, as safe as he could be. It was what he could do at the moment, nothing more.

“We’re here.” his wife says, looking out of the window as he turns the car towards the parking lot, there weren’t a lot of people from what they’ve seen, “...well…are you ready?”

“I’m ready.Are you?”

“Hrrm.”

Her little noises always made him smile, he couldn’t help but lean down and kiss her forehead, kiss that little furl between her brows and chuckling when she just blinked up at him in confusion, “We’ll be okay, gorgeous.” he reassures her, opening the car door and walking around it to open her own.

Beatrice smiles in thanks, standing to her feet and clenching the flier in her hand as she looked towards the building. How odd was it to see it again in…such a short period of time. The lady who scheduled their visit didn’t seem to judge either of them, she just laughed and said they were ‘always welcome’ there. 

It was nice…a bit overwhelming but nice.

She taps the flier against her palm, her anxiety climbing up to her shoulders and making them tense up. She paced around a bit as she waits for Rooster to pick Nicole up, looking back at him with a little frown when she hears the passenger door close and the obvious tinkling of her rubber monkey echo around the area.

Her husband shouldn’t look so good while carrying their baby girl and yet he was.

And he was just wearing his usual shirts, nothing out of the ordinary but she always said that Rooster could make a potato sack look nice if he wore it. He locks the car while holding Nicole on his opposite arm and pulled his sunglasses to his scalp after shoving the keys into his pocket, smiling up at Bea, ‘You good?”

“Hrrmmm…” she says again, rubbing her eyes, “I guess.”

‘It’ll be fine.” the tinkling gets louder when he approaches Beatrice, “You’ll see.”

Nicole babbled almost in agreement, shaking her little monkey in hopes to make her mother smile, which did work but Beatrice’s eyes were still nervous, she was wringing the little pamphlet in her hands with such force that the shiny paper squeaked under her grasp, “Yeah, okay…we better go inside.” his hand on her lower back was a comfortable reminder that he was still there, being her supporter every single moment of their lives and she couldn’t be more thankful.

He just pressed her back a bit harder to push her forward, never hurting but just enough to sign that she should walk and he’d follow. Nicole was mesmerized by the surroundings, the huge plants adorning the outside, large windows with colorful stickers from the children’s rooms and with the windchimes moving with the wind.

She brings her monkey to her mouth, turning her head to keep the windchimes in her vision until they got inside. And then she looks around again and this time she vocalizes happily because there’s a lot of fun colors in there.

She bounces a bit on Rooster’s arm, happily giggling at the different posters and pictures on the wall, making her father smile, “Yeah? Nice isn’t it Nikki?” he says quietly seeing there were a few people there “But, hey,shhh,” he brings his finger to his lips, “We can’t be too loud here.”

Nicole babbles a bit more, her tone going quiet but she smiles because her dad was so silly! Beatrice approaches the front desk with Rooster right behind her, tapping her fingers on the cold surface as the secretary looks up at her, already typing something in her computer, “You’ll be seen soon.” she says, “Please take a seat.”

“Thank you.” she is surprised at how stable her voice sounded, still holding the little flier in her hand as Rooster cups her lower back, guiding her to the empty black chairs tucked on the wall, “Hrrmm…”

“Bea, it’s okay.”

“Hrrmmm.”

“Baby.” he laughs, kissing her head and waiting for her to sit first, Nicole immediately wanting to trade places and stretching her arms to Beatrice, “Baby it’s okay…it really is.” she just remained silent, nuzzling her daughter’s hair and closing her eyes with a soft sigh as he sits down on her left, grabbing her free hand to bring it to his lips, “Gorgeous…come on.”

“I feel like…I don’t know what I’m feeling.” she whispers just so he could hear, holding Nicole up with her hand behind her small back, keeping her upright and safe as she shook her noisy monkey happily, completely oblivious to what was happening, “It’s…unreal? I think…or too real, or maybe both- Rooster I’m not making sense.”

He chuckles, kissing her hand again, “It’s okay,gorgeous…you are nervous,I’m nervous,Nikki isn’t nervous because she’s having such a huge blast with her toy she couldn’t care less,” cue to more shaking,”We’ll just…check how things are, see if everything is okay with the little bean and then we’ll go home and have something good to snack on.”

“Hrmm…”

“Maybe even Mr.Scoops.”

He could see the faint curve of a smile, her eyes meeting his, “They are having the Christmas Bundle again…I think it’s okay…” she whispers, “I just…I don’t know I…I mean,it feels more real now,you know?”

“I know.”

“Like,” she looks at Nicole, “Look at this. We made this little baby.” Nicole stops chewing her monkey to stare at her parents, “And-and we made another one that’s growing in me right now.” she blinks, ‘And I…I have been having symptoms and I ignored and I thought it was just because of,I don’t know, stress but it was just the birth control failing- I need to check with the ladies too,so I…I don’t know, figure out another type of contraception because this…was surprising.”

Rooster uses their interlaced hands to keep his head up, eyes so filled with love and care he felt like he was ready to explode from inside out. She still enamored him so much, nothing changed from that moment at the bar, at all, he still loved her and thought she was the cutest human being ever, “You are precious.” he coos, kissing her knuckles then her cheek, “You are going to be okay, one thing at a time,gorgeous.”

“Yeah…”

“Don’t trigger the anxiety now, okay?”

“I’m trying.”

He smiles, kissing her again and leaning back on the seat with his hand still latched with hers, his opposite one was on his lap as he looked around the clinic. In fact there were very few people there, just another couple not too far from them and another one that just arrived, the soft music over their heads brought him back to Nicole’s ultrasound.

Speaking of Nicole, she was moving her head around curiously, trying to focus on something in such a big space was hard but she was trying her hardest. She brings the monkey’s arm to her mouth and gnaws on it, the squeaking from her gums rubbing against the soft material making Rooster look over to her…and his eyes narrowed, tilting his head just a bit, “Nikki.” he begins, “Nikki, hey,look at dada.” she looked back at him, she could identify that ‘dada’ was him and mama was Beatrice, a huge feat for such a young baby, “Let me see your mouth.”

Nicole keeps on chewing, the question making Beatrice snap out of her thoughts and look down, “What?” Rooster gently pries the little girl’s mouth open and smiles when she giggles, moving her lips just a bit, “What’s wrong?”

“She’s teething.”

“What?” she tries to keep her voice down, leaning her head to look into Nicole’s mouth herself and seeing two very faint white dots on her lower gum, not breaking the skin yet but very close to, ‘Oh my God.”

“Yep.’ Rooster pulls his fingers away and smirks a bit more, leaning on his elbow against the chair, “You are growing,little bird, you are going to get your first teeth.”

“Aa!”

“Yeah! It’s exciting!”

“We need…to get fluoride and, and some ice,” Beatrice mutters, her eyebrows furrowing, “And some things to soothe the teething pain and…” her hand automatically coming up to her chest, “And to myself, she’s still drinking from the source after all.”

Rooster drops his eyes from her bust to her face,earning an exasperated glare from his wife, “What?”

“Don’t start.”

“I’m not starting anything.” he smirks, but then his face relaxes, “But no,you are right, we can get some stuff already and keep it saved up for when the chompers,” he gently wobbles Nicole’s chin, making her vocalization vibrate and her laughter get louder, “Come out.”

Beatrice looks down at Nicole, who once her father let her go, looks back at Bea with a gummy grin. Nicole reaches for her mother, grabby hands and all, and Beatrice pulls her up and tucks her against her neck, closing her eyes, “She’s teething.” she whispers, “She’s already teething,Roos…I-I’m too imbalanced hormonally to handle this, I feel like I’m going to cry!”

“Bea…” he smiles, even though he feels pretty much the same way upon noticing that yes, their daughter was indeed growing bigger and bigger every day. Soon enough she’ll be able ot walk and talk fully, have full on conversations with them and hell, in a blink she might leave for college.

He didn’t want to think about that.

Thankfully, they wouldn’t have to, because their names were called. Beatrice’s head snaps up then back at Rooster, her brows low,”It’s okay,gorgeous, give me Nikki.” she does, not before kissing the little girl’s head, standing up with her husband following suit. He coos Nicole, who whines because she was oh so comfortable in her mother’s grasp, walking alongside Beatrice as the two wander to the ultrasound room.

Beatrice already knows what to do, she’s already sitting on the bed as the lady tells them the doctor is coming soon. Beatrice huffs, adjusting herself while pulling the elastic of her sweat pants down the curve of her stomach, looking down at it, “Do you notice anything?”

Bradley looks up from Nicole to his wife’s stomach, then furrows his brows, “Not really? It looks the same, gorgeous, not that different.”

“Hrrmmm.” she sighs, dropping her head back down onto the bed and blinking at the ceiling, “We’ll be okay. We’ll be okay.”

“We will.” he looks around for the chair and immediately sits down when he finds it, thankfully it is right next to the bed so he could reach out for Bea and touch her hand if she feels too anxious, which he knew she would. “Nicole is excited.” he tries to distract her with a conversation and when it involves Nicole it really helps.

Beatrice turns to look at the two, seeing their little girl looking behind Rooster to a large Sesame Street poster, vocalizing and bouncing a bit in Rooster’s arms, “She is.” Bea smiles weakly, “She loves Sesame Street.”

“More than Dr.Chimp.”

“She might be into more…vintage stuff.” she says, “Like her parents.”

Bradley wouldn’t mind that. The thought that Nicole would share more of their interests was really nice to think about. They stop their chatter when they hear the door open, the same woman from before - when she saw Nicole in the womb - appears and she’s delighted to see that the little baby will join them.

After a short greeting she takes place on the little stool, pulling on her gloves with a grin, “Well,I guess I don’t have to repeat the directions,do I?” Beatrice laughs weakly but shakes her head negatively, pulling her shirt a bit higher to expose more of her stomach, “Let’s begin then.”

The first touch of the ultrasound was always the one that made her wince the most, it was cold and sticky and it was a bit uncomfortable but she could handle it. She drops her hand from the bed to reach towards Rooster’s, smiling when her husband grabbed her fingers and brought her hand to his lips, kissing her wedding ring.

He keeps his hold on hers, rubbing reach of her knuckles with a gentle brush of his thumb as Nicole chews on her monkey, watching the strange lady rub the strange thing on her mama’s belly. There’s silence for a few seconds, before they hear the woman say,”So, you want to know how far along you are,yes?”

“Yes,I uh…I was really busy these past months so my period wasn’t the greatest.”

“Right so,” the woman leans back a bit, showing the little dot on the screen, “From the size I’d say around six weeks.”

Beatrice blinks, “Six weeks? That’s one month.” she tells her husband who just looked confused, then arched his eyebrows when she explained, “Oh,huh,well,that explains a lot.”

But the woman kept moving around a bit, then pulled her stool closer to the screen and then smiled, “Ah…I guess the pregnancy was a surprise.”

“Yeah,” Bea laughs,”It was…we didn’t plan it.”

A pause.

“Would you guys like to know the second surprise?”

Both of them just stared at the woman, who pulled her head back and angled her hand on Beatrice’s stomach. It took a while for them to see through the blobs of gray and white, the little dot still looking a bit wobbly.

And then,suddenly, Beatrice’s eyes widened, “...No…no way.” she whispers, clenching her husband’s hand, “Rooster.”

Brad, however,was having a harder time figuring out what was going on. He had to stand up to approach the screen, all the while holding Nicole to his chest…and when he noticed it, his jaw dropped.

“...holy shit are those two?!”

[winterscaptain]

no deal.

Aaron Hotchner x Gender Neutral Reader

a/n: and thus begins the 100 arc! i am so excited to share this with all of you. these are going to include more canon episode moments than my other episode-attached fics because everything builds on itself and the details are key. i promise we’ll still get a lot of added scenes and little changes! 

an ajf fic arc that happily stands on its own!  one | two | three | four | five | six | seven | eight | nine | ten | eleven

words: 8.4k warnings: canon-typical violence and discussion of violence, language

summary: a case comes back to haunt Aaron in more ways than you can imagine. you’re there to be his shadow, to catch him when he falls. 

masterlist | a joyful future masterlist | requests closed!

“Hotch?” You poke your head around the door, and you find him at his desk, in a surprising ensemble of khakis and an earthy quarter zip.

Almost whimsical, for him. 

He looks up, his eyes softening for a moment before his brows pull in confusion. “You’re still here?”

You gesture to his desk lamp, the only light on in the entire office. “You are, so I figured…” You shrug. “I dunno. Is everything okay?” He looks exhausted, but it’s bone-deep - nothing sleep can fix. 

He shakes his head and sighs. 

That’s his tell.

But he says, “Yeah, everything’s fine.” 

You don’t believe him. 

“Are you sure?” You cross the room and lean on his side of the desk, quickly scanning over the documents you find there. He doesn’t mind your nosiness. He's mostly accustomed to it by now. 

Most of it is pretty normal - after-action reports, performance evaluations (it looks like you’re doing well), and task force meeting agendas - but there’s one file that sticks out. 

Your brow furrows. “The Boston Reaper?”

He shakes his head again. “I’m just reviewing it for an academy lecture about dormant or otherwise inactive serial killers.” 

“Ah, I see.” You know he’s still lying. “Anything I can help with?”

A little half-smile tugs at the corner of his mouth. “No, thank you.” He looks up at you and you offer him a small smile. There are many things at work behind his brown eyes. 

He never keeps things from you without reason, so the lying doesn’t bother you so much as the unease radiating off him in waves. 

For now, you decide to let it go and pat his shoulder as you stand. “Alright. Walk me out?” It’s a pointed question - you know he won’t leave if left to his own devices. 

He’s about to throw you a denial, but the look on your face leaves no room for it. “Yeah. I’ll just be a minute.” He starts packing up, sorting the files into neat little stacks that will be there waiting for him when he gets back tomorrow. The Reaper case, you notice, goes into his briefcase, decisively snapped shut and taken into his hand before you can process much else. 

The walk down to the garage is a quiet one. You take the stairs, happy for the excuse to stretch your legs. 

You snag the sleeve of his (very soft) quarter zip before he turns toward his car. “Aaron?”

His eyes snap to yours at the use of his first name. 

“Just…” you aren’t sure where you’re going with this, but he’s probably used to that by now, too. “Just, erm...Drive safe, please? Get some sleep when you get home?”

He takes a little breath and nods, his gaze softening. He’s quiet as you release his arm, quiet on the walk to his car, quiet (you imagine) as he drives out of the garage.

You watch him until the echo of his tail lights fall out of your sight.  

+++

The next morning, JJ trots up the stairs to Hotch’s office and exchanges a few words with him before he flies out of his office and down the stairs. 

“Shouldn’t we wait for the official request? We haven’t been invited.” JJ does her best to keep up with him, trotting down the stairs behind him with a file in her hand. 

“We will be.” 

You look at her with questions in your eyes and she shrugs. Derek, too, looks at her with confusion. Hotch continues toward the doors. 

Is he already headed toward the plane? 

She throws her hands up. “Well, it looks like we’re going to Boston.” 

+++

When all your things are packed and ready, you settle in beside Aaron in your usual place, on the arm of the couch across from the table. 

He walks you all through his work from a decade ago as you all review the files in your hands.  "The Reaper is driven by a need to dominate, control, and manipulate."

Emily’s the first to speak up. “So then why would he offer a deal that would stop him from doing that?”

“Well, killing gave him power, but after so many, the payoff began to diminish. So he decided to switch tactics. Offering the deal gave him the ultimate power, better even than killing. He manipulated the police into voluntarily surrendering.”

“He even got it in writing,” Reid adds. He’s looking closely at the letter, likely starting the structure of what would become a linguistic profile. 

JJ looks up, a little confused. ”He won. Why start killing again?” 

“Because the only person who knew he'd won, the person he made the deal with, just died.” Morgan says, closing the file and tossing it on the table in front of him. 

That’s an easy train of thought to jump on. “Narcissistic killers need other people to recognize their power.” With a little smile, you remind her, “That's why they contact the media.”

Emily’s next. “So how did he stop for 10 years? 

“In Night of the Reaper, the author suggests he had been arrested for an unrelated crime or died.” Reid pulls the book in question from his bag, placing it on the table. “Perhaps he's trying to correct that misconception.”

“Like BTK,” you offer. 

You can see Aaron's eyebrows rise for just a moment in your peripheral vision. Good one. 

You purposefully bump his shoulder on your way to steal one of Morgan’s snacks. Thanks. 

JJ takes the book, thumbing through. “What has he been doing all this time? 

“Well,” you say, “I would imagine he was planning what he would do if he started killing again.” You look at Aaron, who nods with his mouth in a thin, grim line. 

Morgan opens the file again, running his finger down the metrics as he speaks. “So, from '95 to '98, he shoots, stabs, and bludgeons twenty-one victims - men, women, all ages, all types, no specific victimology or MO.” He looks up at Hotch. “How did you build a profile from that?”

“We didn't. Shaunessy sent us home before we had a chance.” Aaron takes a breath before his next thought. “BTK, the Zodiac, and the Reaper all have similarities. They're all highly intelligent, disciplined, sadistic killers who name themselves in the press.”

“Highly intelligent may be a bit of an understatement,” Reid says. “The Reaper and The Zodiac Killer have never been arrested. And the BTK killer was only caught after twenty-five years because he went to the press to counter a book that said he'd died, moved away, or been locked up, just like this one.”

“Speaking of the media,” JJ notes, “when this gets out, it's going to be a frenzy. If they get wind of this, they're going to be all over the Boston Police.” 

Aaron agrees with a brisk nod. “The longer we can float the copycat story, the better chance we'll have of catching him.” 

You sit up straighter. “Meaning, if we keep pushing at his ego, he might take another risk?” 

“Exactly,” he says. “Rossi, Prentiss, and Morgan, go to the field office, set up shop, go through everything there.” He assigns himself, you, JJ, and Reid to the crime scene.

You’re happy for the chance to keep an eye on him. There’s still something off about this whole thing, and the fingers on his left hand worrying his pen is only the most obvious clue. You reach out for his sleeve across the aisle when the team breaks, tugging a little, just like you did last night. 

He looks over at you, almost startled. “Yeah?”

You don’t say anything. Tell me what you need. 

“I’m fine. Just want to get on the ground and get to work.” 

Bullshit. Your squint says it all. 

He sighs and you release his arm. He’ll talk to you when he’s ready. 

He always does. 

+++

You and JJ stand off Aaron's shoulder as he introduces the three of you to the local police authorities. Hotch is already on edge. 

An odd exchange between Hotch and one of the veteran cops leaves you with the entire department at your disposal. How he manages to do that every time is beyond you. 

Reid, the case file in his hand, walks you all through the preliminary findings. “Nina Hale, ninteen, and Evan Harvey, twenty-three. Nina's throat was slashed, she was stabbed forty-six times. Evan was bludgeoned and then shot. No shell casings were found.” 

“A revolver, maybe?” You ask, in-step with Aaron, whose gears are turning as he examines the inside and outside of the car. 

“He preferred revolvers, .44 magnum.” If he weren’t so focused, you were sure he’d be impressed by your observation. “The younger the female victim, the more time he spends with them, usually with a knife.”

You point at one of the photos of the female victim. “Tan line on her wrist. Probably wearing a watch of some sort.”

Aaron’s on the other side of the car now, leaning close to the driver’s side window, looking at a photo of the male victim. “Do we have his wallet?” At your questioning glance, he adds, “The Reaper took items from each victim and placed them on the next, so as to make sure we knew it was him.” 

“That’s quite the signature,” you muse, straightening. 

One of the crime scene techs hands him the wallet in question. After a quick examination: “No corrective lens requirement.”

Your brow furrows and you look over at him. “The glasses aren't his?”

“He only took glasses from one victim--the ninth.” He looks increasingly agitated as he speaks and the crease in your brow deepens to match his. “We should have found them on the tenth, and we didn't. They were never found.”

How does he know which victim was the ninth? How does he remember? 

“What was so special about the ninth victim?” 

Aaron levels you with a look that sends cold wriggling up your spine. “He survived.”

Oh. 

+++

JJ and Dave take the second car back, intending to make a few stops on their way back to the precinct. You sit shotgun, staring out the window, while Aaron drives. His fingers tap arrythmically on the steering wheel. 

He’s restless. Fidgety. It’s weird. 

“What are you thinking about over there?” You ask. 

He shakes his head, just a little. “It’s not a copycat.” 

Your brow furrows. “We knew that, though.”

“Right.” 

Oh.

It must be surreal to have a case come back to life like this. “Wasn’t this one of your first cases? You joined the BAU in ‘98, right?”

When I was a sophomore in high school…

Oh, shut up. 

You snap back to the audible conversation as he nods. “It was my first case as lead profiler, so I’d been on the team a couple of months. Gideon thought, well...I don’t know what he thought. He gave me point on this one for some reason or another.” 

“Look at you, hotshot.” You reach out and shove lightly against his shoulder and you’re rewarded with a huff. “Only on the team a few months and you get assigned your very own case.” 

He rolls his eyes. “I did it with you.” 

It’s true - he did. Spencer may have saved the day in the end, but you polished, delivered, and implemented the profile throughout the investigation. As scared as you were for the professional leap (and the personal one, given the nature of your teams’ closeness), it paid off. 

“That doesn’t count.” 

He glances at you before returning his eyes to the road. “Why not?”

You shrug. “We’re kind of…” You clam up, for some reason, a little embarrassed. 

Don’t be stupid. 

“...I don’t know? Friends?”

You get a real smile from him this time and you match it. “Well, ‘kind-of-I-don’t-know friends’ seems like a stretch, don’t you think?” He looks over at you and holds your gaze a little longer than he should, considering he’s driving a little more than eighty miles per hour. 

You’re an idiot, your eyes say, an amused chuff leaving your nose.

His eyebrows bounce before he looks out at the road again. And?

+++

“George Foyet, 28, was the ninth victim and the only one to survive The Reaper.” Aaron passes you files as he speaks, clearly not needing any notes or other aids to regurgitate the details of the case, verbatim. 

Dave snorts. “Not for lack of trying.”

Hotch walks you all through the Foyet attack, outlining the oddities and patterns that collectively create The Reaper’s signature. His good mood from the car has either entirely evaporated or been smothered by his focus on the case, leaving him with his normal operational stoicism. “The Reaper always uses some sort of ruse to get close to and spend time with his victims.”

“So, how did Foyet survive?” You ask. 

It’s weird he’s not summarizing it for you all, but then again, this case is odd in its obvious, meticulous execution. It’s probably best to let it speak for itself. 

Hotch wordlessly starts the recording. 

“911. What's your emergency?”

“I just murdered two more.” The voice is distorted, ominous. 

“Excuse me, sir, did you say you murdered someone?”

“Victims eight and nine, by a silver Toyota on Riverton past the Tyson Quarry.”

Reid fills you in. “That call was made from a payphone about a mile from the crime scene. EMTs arrived fifteen minutes later. Bertrand was DOA, Foyet barely breathing.”

“So,” you ask, looking over the case. “The Reaper made one of these calls after each of his killings telling the police where to find the bodies?”

Aaron nods. “Until this one, the ninth. If he hadn't made this call, Foyet wouldn't have been found in time. The call saved him.”

You look up from the file. “Can I guess that the Reaper didn't make any 911 calls after this one?”

Aaron’s brows raise for a moment. Exactly. 

“There's a reason he left Foyet's glasses at the last crime scene.” Aaron looks grim as he presents the glasses again. 

Morgan pulls his phone out of his pocket, likely for access to Penelope. “Foyet could be in danger.”

“Uh, Hotch,” JJ pops her head into the room, looking more than a little confused. “There's a reporter outside insisting on speaking with you.” At Aaron's questioning look, she adds, “Roy Colson. He says he knows you.”

You watch him leave and exchange words with the reporter, your lower lip planted firmly between your teeth. JJ hangs at your side while Derek comes up behind you, putting his hands on your shoulders. 

“Is Hotch okay?” He asks. Spencer, Dave, Emily, and JJ also look to you for an answer. 

You shake your head the barest amount and when you speak, it’s almost a whisper. “I don’t know.” You clear your throat and try again. “I don’t know.” 

+++

Dave peers into the car. “Another couple. Much older this time. One shot and one stabbed.” 

“No reason to stop out here.” You’re just off Aaron's shoulder, following the line of his flashlight. 

Dave sounds resigned, tired. “His license and registration are out of his wallet.” 

You squint. “Looks like he used a cop ruse."

“Good spot, isolated, few drivers.” 

Hotch sighs, coming in close to something with his flashlight. “He left Nina Hale's watch."

"Okay," Dave says. "So what'd he take?"

“His wedding ring.” You note the tan line on the man’s fourth finger - a dead giveaway. 

Pardon the pun...

A local officer is quick to give you the victim information, approaching Aaron with a file. “Arthur and Diane Lanessa. Weymouth. Married 32 years. They were coming home from the Elks, where they played bingo twice a week.” He looks over at the press, rapidly arriving at the perimeter. “I gotta go make notification.”

You refocus on the crime scene, anticipating Aaron's wandering eyes and shining the light where he needs it most. 

“Looks like he went through her purse,” he says. 

You hover over his shoulder again. “Any idea what he was looking for?”

Hotch shakes his head, moving on. 

A photo falls out of the drop-down mirror during Hotch’s cursory check. It depicts the victims and who you assume are members of their family. In blood, FATE? is scrawled across the front of the photo. Aaron straightens, leaving the car and crossing to Dave. You, of course, follow. 

When you both reach Dave, you finally have an opportunity to take a look at the photo. “The question mark is new.”

“It's for us.” Aaron doesn’t need further examination for his assessment. “He's saying it's not fate. He's saying we had ten years to save them and that these latest ones are on us.”

“You got all that from one question mark. That's impressive.” Dave’s compliment is only a little undercut by his sarcasm. You can’t help but agree with the implication. 

Aaron sighs, copping to it. “I may know him better than I've let on.”

“What does that mean?” You step closer to him, your brow furrowed. 

He levels you with a somewhat guilty look. “It means that there is a profile on The Reaper.”

Dave frowns. “I thought we were called off before we had one.”

“We were. I had just started the profile, and then he stopped killing, so officially we were done. But this case…”

“It stuck with you,” you finish for him. Your brows drop lower over your eyes, finally understanding the stakes at play. 

“I kept coming back to it over the years, and I worked on it alone.”

The exhaustion in his voice, gravelly and low, worries you more than you’d like to let on. “So you never shared it with anyone.”

“I know I'm always preaching that profiling is a collaborative effort, but this one wasn't. I don't know, maybe if -” he sighs. “If I was wrong, I was gonna head us in the wrong direction.” The doubt in Aaron's voice breaks your heart a little. 

“Now you think you're right.” Dave, of course, has the brief words to coax the thought out of Aaron. You’re thankful he’s here. Between the two of you, you’ll get more out of your unit chief in twenty minutes than anyone else would get in three days. 

“The more I see, the more accurate I think it may be.”

“Okay,” you say, “then we need to hear it.”

+++

It’s decided that Aaron will deliver the profile solo, with only a little input from Dave. It’s odd to see him up there all by himself while the rest of you stand off to the side. You’re students just as much as the local police, this time. 

You tune into Aaron, whose eyes are bouncing all over the room, from person to person, holding and keeping their attention. His eyes meet yours and you hope the respect and pride overflowing in your chest is visible on your face. 

“The Reaper fits a profile we refer to as an omnivore. Unlike most serial killers, an omnivore doesn't target a specific victim type. Although he tends to focus on his younger female victims with his knife, he essentially is a predator who will kill anyone.”

One of the local cops has a decent question (for once). “Why is he so democratic?”

“Because his kills aren't just about his victims. He needs recognition. He needs us to know.”

Dave chimes in. “The symbols, the placement of prior victims' possessions on subsequent victims--it's all for us.”

“Why?” 

“Power,” Aaron answers simply. “The Shaunessy letter is the clearest example of this. He manipulated Tom Shaunessy into literally surrendering to him.”

It reminds you of the first time you saw him - alone, in front of a room of people focused only on him. It was one of your first lectures at the academy, your favorite, and the one that inspired you to ask for a placement with the BAU when Jenny told you to take a running leap. 

How far you’ve come. 

Without permission, your mind wanders to a few things that haven’t changed in the last year and a half. Aaron is still the most handsome man you’ve ever seen - capable, worthy of deep admiration and respect. His voice is the same - demanding respect and carrying the weight of the world in it. 

Anything that won’t condemn you to a life of unrealistic expectations of men? 

No. Maybe you’re a better shot?

Great. That’s useful. 

“Like BTK killer Dennis Rader,” Aaron continues, “The Reaper is extremely disciplined. In his everyday life, this will very likely make him so inflexible, he can't keep close relationships or work closely with others. 

“I believe our killer has another interest that may give us the best opportunity to catch him.” You’re glad Dave is there to help, his seasoned expertise coming in handy once again. “The Reaper's last victim was an older woman. He killed her quickly, with a single shot. The prior, younger victim, he spent more time with and stabbed forty-six times.”

Yet another “Why?” from one of the local officers. 

Curious group, it seems. 

Aaron answers. “He pays special attention to his younger female victims, and his weapon of choice with them is the knife, a substitute instrument for bodily penetration.”

Dave, again, has something else for you all. “The younger the victim, the more time and effort he spends. I think our guy is a hebephile.”

“Hebephile?” Naturally, that particular proclivity is not a familiar one to the layman. 

Reid lends an assist. “A hebephile is someone who's attracted to adolescent post-pubescent children. Teenagers.” 

“Look for men with access and authority -” Aaron assumes command again, “- high school teachers, counselors, coaches--and anyone who's been charged with sex crimes against teenage girls in the last ten years.” He checks in with you, and you nod. “That's all for now. Thank you.”

+++

You look up as Aaron walks into the room, Derek ready with bad news. “Garcia can’t find George Foyet.” You stand and resume your post as his shadow, beside Emily. 

Morgan holds the phone toward Hotch. “I’ve got nothing, sir,” comes Garcia’s voice from the speaker. 

“What do you mean? 

“I mean, he’s gone. He’s completely off the grid. He’s gone.” 

“How is that possible?” You tap Aaron's shoulder with the back of your hand as his tone grows sharper with Penelope. 

Be nice. 

He shakes you off and you clench your jaw, looking over at Derek as Aaron tries to wiggle more information out of Penelope. It doesn’t work. “Garcia, we don’t have much time.” 

“I know, sir.” 

You huff. “I mean, how would you even drop off the grid like that? There has to be someone he talked to.”

Aaron wordlessly dials a number, shooting you a somewhat grateful, if not a little rueful, look. “Roy, Aaron Hotchner. I need a favor.” 

+++

“That’s him.”

Aaron shuts the back door of the car behind you and out of habit, you take quick stock of him while he does the same for you. 

You spot the man you’re looking for skittering across the street and toward the apartment. “George Foyet?” He’s visibly skeptical, and Aaron pulls his credentials. “It’s okay. We're FBI.” He introduces you and Rossi while you flash your credentials for good measure. “I'm Agent Hotchner. We met once before. Do you remember?”

"Yeah, I remember.” He’s agitated, his eyes jumping to every moving person on the near-empty street. “Would you mind if we get off the street, please?

You follow Dave and Aaron into the cramped apartment, noting the clutter and general feeling of paranoia permeating the space. Everything looks rushed - half-lived in and half-finished. 

When you reach the kitchen, Foyet collapses into a coughing fit and Dave immediately supplies him with a glass of water. 

“Thank you.” He takes another decent gulp. “How'd you guys find me?”

“Roy Colson,” Aaron says. He’s focused on Foyet, but you can tell he’s keyed into the peripherals, just in case. 

“Oh.” He seems disappointed, though in what you’re not sure. “Well, is this gonna take long? 'Cause I really can't be late for work.”

“What do you do?” You ask. 

“I'm a freelance computer specialist with the city.”

Dave steps forward. “We're sorry to bother you. We'll make it as quick as possible.”

Aaron pulls the evidence bag containing the glasses out of his breast pocket. “This yours?”

“I knew it wasn't a copycat.” 

You pull a chair for Foyet as he coughs again, feeling only a little odd about taking care of this man in his own house. 

“Thank you.” He takes another sip of water. “I'm sorry.” He pauses, remembering. “I was gonna propose to her that night...At the restaurant, but I got cold feet. The ring was still in my pocket when he approached us. He said he was lost. He had one of those sightseeing booklets. I was looking at it when he stabbed me. Yeah...Perfect timi-”

You interrupt him, attempting to stem his agitation. “Mr. Foyet, you don't need to go through this again.” Nevertheless, he continues, increasingly distraught. 

“I couldn't move. I just sat there, bleeding. I watched him kill Mandy. He stabbed her sixty-seven times. Do you know how long it takes to stab somebody sixty-seven times? ...I never found the ring.”

For some reason, your mind drifts to the man beside you, the horrifying thought of seeing him stabbed, the life leaving his body. You shake it off with a little shudder. 

Why, brain? Why? That’s a fucking awful thought. 

And yet the image sticks with you, forcing you to manually lock it away. Aaron looks at you, almost like he can read your mind. 

That’s nightmare fodder.

The smallest flex of his brow asks, Are you okay? 

Fine. You offer him a tight twitch of your lips. It’s not a smile, but you’d be thankful for at least a mockery of one right now. 

With a little bit of a squint, Aaron turns back to Foyet. “He should have left your glasses on his next victim, but he didn't. He held on to them all this time.”

“What, you think he's got some special interest in me?” He almost laughs. “I've been living with that possibility for the past eleven years.”

“Have you received any strange letters or calls? Hang-ups?” Dave asks. 

“I keep residences under different names. I move between them randomly. He likes to get you in the car, so I take the bus. Believe me, I've gone through great lengths to make sure that none of the things you've just mentioned ever happened.”

What a terrifying, sad existence. 

Dave offers George his notebook and a pen. “We'll need your other names and residences so we can reach you.” 

“We can take you someplace safe until this is over.” Aaron’s brow is knit in concern - it’s a look you’ve seen many times, but it never fails to inspire a little flicker of warmth in your chest. 

Quit, would you?

“No. Boston is my home. It's the one thing I promised I would never let him take from me.”

Aaron insists, pushing. “Then we'll protect you here.”

“You can't protect me. Nobody can.” He frantically writes in the notebook for a moment before handing it back to Dave. “Please be careful with this. Please.”

Dave assures him, “It's safe with us.”

“He's just a man, nothing more.” You hope it’s the right thing to say. You feel Aaron take a breath, and you almost feel bad. It’s a line he’s said before, one you borrow when necessary.

Don’t mean to steal his thunder. 

Instead of looking at you, he looks at Aaron. “Then why can't you catch him?”

“We will.”

+++

You’re both sitting in Aaron's hotel room, the photos from each of the crime scenes spread out all around you. It’s far later than you’d like, but the time spent is worth it if it gets you one step closer to this sick, scary bastard. 

“What was it like? The original case?”

Aaron sighs, pulling a hand down his face. “Frustrating. Exhausting. Like this.” He shakes his head. “Every day was another dead end, and then another pair of bodies every few weeks. Then…they just stopped.” He holds up the note. “Now I know why.” 

You tip your head to the side, studying him. “What would you do?”

“What, you mean about the deal?” 

“Yeah. What if -”

The phone rings, cutting you off, and you rise to answer. You’re stopped by a hand on your wrist as Aaron passes you and picks it up. “Hotchner.” 

You plant yourself back on the bed, legs folded underneath you. It’s probably one of the team, given the hour and -

“Who is this?” His voice is low, almost angry. 

You scramble to the edge of the bed, giving Aaron space while remaining completely keyed into him. 

“...You think I’d take that?...I’ve misjudged you. I thought you were smarter than this...Then you’ve misjudged me...I don’t make deals.”

Oh my god. It’s The Reaper. 

No. It can't be.

You pull out your cell and fire off a text as quickly as you can to Penelope. 

3:42am trace call to ah’s room stat

She doesn’t disappoint. 

3:42am on it. 

“I’m the guy who hunts guys like you..." Aaron laughs, dark and humorless. "You all think that...I’ll see you soon.” He slams the phone down and starts to pace, his hand over his mouth. 

“What’s going on?” You stand, stopping him with a hand on his arm. “Hotch. Who was that?”

He stares down the phone like it’s a living thing, but doesn’t breathe a word. After a moment, he jumps back into action, sitting heavily on the bed and going over everything with a renewed, almost frantic, focus. 

You watch him for a moment before you pull out your phone. A text message from six hours ago blinks up at you. 

Haley Brooks-Hotchner

9:13pm when you get a chance, can you have aaron give me a call? no rush. just school paperwork for j. he’s not picking up his phone. thanks xx

You answer her, praying she didn’t leave her ringer on. The hour alone will reveal the extent of the team’s attention on this case and you can only hope she understands. 

3:48am can do. this one’s bad. might be a minute. 

Aaron looks up at you, a question in his eyes.

You shake your head with a little smile. It’s nothing. 

+++

“Six bodies, not including the driver. He put 'em down with the gun--or more likely guns--and finished them off with his knife.” Dave looks around while Aaron stands stock still near the driver, slumped over the wheel. 

The scene inside the bus is macabre - bodies and blood everywhere. The numbers on the window send shivers up your spine. 

“There;s Arthur Lanessa's wedding ring.” You peer over Aaron's shoulder. “What'd he take?” 

He scoffs. “Does it matter?” 

He straightens quickly, shoving past you and getting off the bus. You get out of his way, letting him go with a frown. Dave meets your eyes and tips his head. You follow him out as he goes after Aaron, giving them just a little bit of distance 

Dave catches up to him. “Hey. What's goin' on with you?”

Aaron stops in the alley a little ways away from the bus. “He called me tonight and offered me the deal.”

So that’s what happened. 

You thought as much, but the thought alone was too much to consider. It’s never been less satisfying to be right. 

“What did you say?”

“I hung up on him, and then he does this.” Aaron gestures to the crime scene, NO DEAL staring you all in the face, along with all those numbers. 

The idea of The Reaper torturing Aaron like this is horrifying. Plenty of unsubs have made your skin crawl in the past, but this is a new kind of awful. You’ve never seen him like this. 

“So, you think this is your fault?”

“It is,” he insists. You’re shocked to see tears in his eyes when he looks back up at Dave. There’s a part of you that wants to reach out, but something keeps you back. 

Dave pulls his gun and releases the safety, turning the grip toward Aaron. 

What the fuck? 

“Well, here, use mine. You convinced me.” 

Aaron waves him off with one hand while he pinches the bridge of his nose with the other. 

Of all the things you would have thought of at this moment, pulling a gun on SSA Aaron Hotchner wouldn’t have made the list. You watch, ready to jump between them at a moment’s notice. They’ve never gone after each other before, but you’ve seen more worrisome behavior from Aaron in the last forty-eight hours than in the preceding eighteen months. 

Even at the height of the divorce proceedings, he was steadier than this. 

“No, no, you hung up on him.” Dave pushes the gun at him, trying to wrangle it into Aaron's hand. “You practically killed them yourself. Go ahead, get it over with. Don't worry about us.” He gestures to you and Aaron's eyes flicker to yours. You have no idea what you look like right now. “We'll get this guy without you.”

Dave is a genius. 

He blinks, tears wetting his cheeks. It’s certainly one of the more alarming things you’ve ever seen. He’s audibly frustrated, his hand flexing at his side as he talks. “Dave, I had 10 years to do something about it.”

That’s not fair. 

When has Aaron ever been fair, or even kind, to himself? 

Well, shit. 

That’s why you’re here. Do your job.

You step forward, keeping your voice down. Approaching him like a cornered animal seemed the best tactic at the moment. “Shaunessy made the deal. The killing stopped, as promised. He closed the case and sent you away, Hotch.” Your eyes beg for his as you continue. “You moved on. You worked on other cases, active cases. You saved lives in that time. It wasn’t wasted.”

Aaron huffs, clearly frustrated. “But I kept coming back to this one. I kept coming back to this profile.” There’s something desperate in his voice and you know he’s trying to get you to understand something he can’t articulate. 

Dave takes over again. “Hey. I was retired. Should I blame myself for every victim who got killed while I was on my book tour? Look, if you want to end up like Shaunessy, like Gideon, blaming yourself for everything, you go ahead.” 

Damn. Good point. 

Aaron’s eyes meet yours for just a moment before looking away again. You keep your face soft, neutral. 

Safe. 

“But that voice in your head,” Dave says, “it's not your conscience. It's your ego. This isn't about us, Aaron. It's about the bad guys. That's why we profile them. It's their fault. We're just guys doing a job. And when we stop doing it, someone else will. Trust me. I know.” 

Aaron checks in with you for a moment and you nod. It’s okay. You’re okay. We’re okay. 

He wipes at his eyes before leveling Dave with something that looks almost like his classic glare, gesturing to the offered gun at his chest. “You can put that away.”

With a cheeky smile, Dave says, “You sure?”

“It's a little dramatic, don't you think?” You ask, stepping up and clapping Dave on the shoulder. 

“My wife always said I had a flair for the dramatic.” Dave’s deeply chuffed pleased that he was able to bring Aaron back to his senses. He holsters his weapon, throwing the safety back on. 

“Which one?” Aaron asks. You’re relieved to hear a little bit of humor in his voice. 

“All of 'em.”

The three of you share a little smile before you walk back to the crime scene. 

Aaron’s thanks is so quiet you’re almost certain you made it up. 

You’re only sure it happened at all when Dave replies, “Anytime.” 

+++

“He knows where Foyet lives. We’ll split up and cover each address. Go.” 

You rise and somehow end up with Derek. Though not your intention, it’s probably for the best. For good measure, you take Jameson, a seasoned SWAT agent. The three of you had the biggest of Foyet’s properties on lock. 

Derek speeds to the house, flooring it with sirens blaring. 

“I’ll take front,” Derek says, nearly shouting over the siren. 

You’re locked and loaded, ready to go in your vest as soon as the car stops. “I’ll take the back.” You twist in your seat to look in the back. “Jameson, you good on my six?”

“I’ve gotcha.” 

You’re clearing the house, kicking in the back door. There’s a thump behind you and you turn. Before you can do anything, something makes contact with the back of your head, sending you straight to the ground. You hit something else on your way down, and you’re done. 

Fuck. 

You’re knocked out cold, but come to only a few minutes later. You stumble to your feet as lights and sirens round the corner. Bringing a hand to your head, you feel the blood on your forehead. There’s probably a decent cut near your hairline and when you look down, you find an alarming amount of blood on your vest. 

Head wounds bleed. You’re fine. 

Oh. 

Oh no. 

Derek. 

You brace yourself on the wall as you rise, checking your service weapon. It’s not in your holster, but you find it nearby on the floor. 

Why didn’t he take it? 

Kicking it under the table, you draw your secondary weapon. The thought of leaning down to reach for the gun on the floor is too much and your only aim is to get to Derek, then Jameson.

Blinking blood out of your eyes, you do your best to clear the rest of the house before finding the mess in the living room and front yard. Without much of a thought, you haul yourself over the broken window sill, getting a nice slice in your arm for your trouble, and land hard at Derek's side. With a groan, you roll over onto your knees, crawling toward your prone teammate. 

You look up as headlights hit you, shading your eyes with one of your hands. The other rests on Derek's chest. To your relief, you can feel his breath under his vest. He’s alive. He’s okay. 

With the intensity of the lights shining on you, you can’t see Hotch as he lifts you to your feet by your upper arms. He shields you from the light with his body, his brows drawn and concerned. You’re dizzy in the extreme, your right eye almost unable to open with all the blood caked down the side of your face. 

He takes you under his arm and brings you to one of the ambulances posted on the street. The paramedic takes your vitals, but Aaron keeps a hold on your other hand. You’re not sure he realizes he’s still got you, but you’re not about to let go. 

“What happened?” He asks, quiet and tense. 

You shake your head even though it only increases your dizziness. Blinking a couple of times, you answer, “I don’t know. He came out of nowhere. I had the side of the house, Jameson had the back, Morgan the front. We were clearing room by room and he just…” your eyes float to the front of the house, where Emily has Derek with a paramedic. “He appeared and I didn’t have time before he hit me with...Something. I was out before I could blink. I think I hit the table on the way down.” 

Hotch sighs and to your dismay, you see the coroner approaching the back of the house with a gurney. Jameson’s dead. 

Why aren’t you?

“He didn’t take my service weapon. It’s under the table in the kitchen now, but it was next to me when I came to. I don’t -” you swallow, still dazed. “I don’t know why he left us alive.” 

You can see Aaron's teeth grinding as he collects himself. “He’s trying to get in your head. Don’t let him.” 

“What, like you?” You know your functioning isn’t at one hundred percent - you’d never make a jab at him like that, even weak as it was, at a moment like this if you were clear-headed. 

He sighs as your eyes flutter shut, leaning on the inside of the ambulance. You hear the paramedic tell him you’re concussed and need to be kept awake for the next ten hours. Hotch gets the details on your other injuries before squeezing your hand once and leaving you. 

After another few minutes, EMS releases you with a packet of concussion information (which you immediately crumple and shove into a passing crime scene tech’s jacket pocket). Far too quickly, you make your way across the yard and into the house, avoiding Jameson's body and the coroner’s staff. 

You find Derek and Emily sitting together on the back of the couch as he, too, is patched up. 

“You okay, kid?” He asks. 

You nod. “Just concussed, a couple of lacerations. I’m fine. Are you okay?” There’s a compulsion to fuss over him, but you resist. 

He nods, bringing a pristine .44 caliber bullet into your eye line. “He left this.” 

A shiver runs down your spine. “Sadistic bastard.” 

Emily raises her eyebrows and cants her head, agreeing with your brief assessment. 

You look outside to where Hotch stands in the middle of the yard, with his arms crossed, looking over the damage to both the house and his team. 

Eventually, he returns to the house with Spencer in tow. You follow them, moving slow. 

Reid points to evidence as he talks. “Jameson was clearly killed outside. This is someone else. There are signs of a struggle and a lot of blood."

"But no body,” you note. 

What the hell happened here? 

Reid nods. "Just the drag marks. The human body holds 5 quarts of blood. I'd say there's a little more than half that here. Whoever the bleeder was, they lost too much to survive."

It begs the question, so you ask. "Foyet?” 

“It was his worst fear, that the Reaper would come back and finish the job,” Dave says, appearing out of nowhere and leaning on the door jamb to the kitchen. 

With a firm conviction, Aaron says, “We offered him protection. He refused. It was his choice.”

+++

JJ’s brow crumples as she looks over the files again. "Why is he so focused on Foyet? What's so special about him?"

Aaron, of course, answers her. "He was his only surviving victim, the only one he couldn't defeat."

“But he's not a threat. Defeating him would be no great accomplishment. There's something there that we're missing.” You thumb through the case again, certain the answers are there for you to find. 

JJ’s persistent. “What about the girlfriend, Amanda Bertrand? Wh-what do we know about her?”

“Nineteen. A freshman. She came here from Michigan to go to school. Foyet was a teacher's assistant in one of Amanda's courses.”

“Michigan. Where The Reaper had Shaunessy post the personal ad.”

“That can't be a coincidence.”

“He told us she was the love of his life, that he was gonna propose. But she just got here from Michigan. They only met when the class started.”

“How long had she been in the class?” You ask

There’s an incredulous laugh in Emily’s voice. “Four weeks.”

“So it was either love at first sight or what?”

Derek picks up JJ’s thought. “Foyet was lying?”

“He's a 28-year-old teacher's assistant in freshman classes.” Hotch immediately starts dialing a number, and you’re sure you know which one. As you suspected, he gets Penelope on the phone. 

“What are Foyet's aliases?” Quickly, you hand him Dave’s notebook, the rest of your body coiled for action. He bows his body over the phone, rattling off instructions. “I want you to look up in Boston city records Kevin Baskin, Miles Holden, and William Parker. Try the Department of Education.”

“Well played, sir.” You hear her keyboard in the background. “They all work for the Department of Education, they're all substitute teachers, and they all teach computer science.” She pauses. “Oops. Scratch that. They're not all working for the Department of Education.”

“They're not?” Aaron’s head tilts, listening. 

“No. William Parker was fired for alleged inappropriate behavior with his female students.”

Something clicks. You watch the gears turn and turn and turn, Aaron’s eyes flickering over the photos, the file, back and forth as he puts pieces together. 

“Hotch?” Your hand hovers over his shoulder, but he pays you no mind. 

“Roy Colson went to see Foyet.” He begins to stand, his voice rising as he gets farther from the phone. “Garcia, I need you to trace Roy Colson's cell phone. George Foyet is The Reaper.”

Garcia gives you the address and the rest of you chase Aaron out to the car. The headache pushing behind your eyes is the least of your worries. “What? What do you mean George Foyet is the Reaper?” It’s almost comical, the efforts you take to keep pace with him down the stairs and to the car. 

Aaron communicates all the details he put together in the conference room, taking you step-by-step through his process. “He stabbed Amanda Bertrand to death, he drove a mile, he called 911, he went back, and he inflicted those wounds on himself.”

You’ve already caught up, the pieces clicking in before he can repeat them. “He knew EMS would get there in time to save him.” 

“And between the phone call and the severity of his wounds, we never considered him as a suspect.” There’s frustration in his tone, but you know it goes deeper than that. It’s his pride. 

“Hotch, you couldn’t have -” 

Derek cuts you off. “Why would he do it?”

“It put him at the core of the investigation. Everything we had came from him.”

Talk about inserting yourself... 

Derek is right there with him. “He left his own glasses at the crime scene, he pointed us right back in his direction, and still, we didn't see it.”

Aaron nods, his jaw tighter than you’ve ever seen it. 

Don’t blame yourself. 

Hotch rolls up to the house, no lights or sirens, and you surround the house, on his six. You quietly breach the back door, clearing the kitchen and the hallway. 

“It's over.” Aaron’s tone leaves no room for argument as he levels his gun at Foyet’s head. 

There’s a strange smile on Foyet’s face as he speaks. “I'll kill him.”

“You need him to write your story.”

“I'm taking him with me. I'll let him go as soon as I'm safe.”

You step to the side, trying to get a better shot, but Aaron stops you with the smallest turn of his head as Foyet redirects his attention to you.

“I said I'll kill him.”

Aaron pulls his focus again. “You kill him, I kill you.”

“You think I'm afraid to die?”

“You're not afraid.” Aaron sneers. He’s aiming to hurt and it’s a good idea. “You're greedy and narcissistic. You want the recognition that's gonna come from the book that he's gonna write. You want the fame that's gonna come from the media. It's gonna be like Bundy.”

“I'm gonna be bigger than Bundy.”

“Well, you can't enjoy it if you're dead.”

You’ve got him there, Aaron. 

“If you know me so well, how come some many had to die to bring you here?”

You can almost feel the lance of shame and guilt that shoots through Aaron. He almost flinches. Between you and Emily, if looks could kill, Foyet would be long dead. 

You fucking asshole. 

It takes everything in you not to leap on him and pummel him into the floorboards. You’d love nothing more than to wipe that smug grin off his face. 

“That's your choice, not mine. You're the serial killer.” To your ears, it sounds like Aaron's convincing himself as much as telling Foyet. 

“That's right.” He turns, smirking. "Hello, Derek.” 

He drops his gun and Derek pounces on him, restraining him. "Where's my badge?” He jerks Foyet’s head back by the hair. “Where is it, you son of a bitch?”

He doesn’t answer Derek's question, but shifts his icy gaze to you. “How’s your head?” He gives you an imitation of a pout, and anger sears through your chest. “You took quite a spill last night, Agent. Probably had your unit chief very worried.”

You squint at him, but don’t respond. Aaron steps a little to the side and you’re not even sure he realizes it, but he’s made himself a barrier between you and Foyet. 

The bastard notices, though, and the corner of his mouth lifts. “I'm gonna be more famous than you even realize.”

The look he gives Hotch makes you shudder. 

+++

Only an hour or so after you land back at Quantico, JJ jogs from her office to Hotch’s. Your heart sinks. 

That’s never good. 

“Foyet escaped.”

You grab the remote and stand from your desk, turning the volume up on the TV. 

She chases Hotch down the stairs as he joins the rest of you, surrounding Derek's desk. “Guards found him in his cell vomiting blood and convulsing. They rushed him to the prison hospital.”

“Get me the U.S. Marshals office.” He turns, but she stops him. 

“I already called Don Reilly. I offered our assistance. He said they'd call us if they needed it.”

Aaron doesn’t stop moving until he’s at your side. Your search for his eyes and he meets your gaze after a moment. 

What do we do? 

His jaw clenches. I don’t know. Then, a huff. Fuck. 

You shake your head a little. It makes you feel a little dizzy. Fuck, indeed. 

“How’s your head?” He asks. 

Of all the things to worry about…

“It’s fine. I’m fine.” 

Just then, Emily returns, a file in her hand. “The Boston field office just identified documents from Foyet's house. They're schematics for the electrical, heating, and water ducts of the East Woburn Correctional Facility.” 

You take it from her, looking it over before looking at Hotch. “He had the schematics. And not just for Woburn. For every jail, prison, and courthouse in Massachusetts.”

“And 10 years to plan,” Dave adds. 

"They're gonna find him, right?" Penelope’s voice is small, and you can’t blame her for it. Derek’s at her side, staring at the news footage with a grim look on his face. 

Aaron’s eyes are trained on the television when he answers. “No, they're not.”

Derek turns to you before looking at every member of the team individually. “He said he'd be more famous than we knew, and he was right.”

+++

tagging: @arganfics @quillvine @stxrryspencer @agenthotchner @wandaswitxh @hurricanejjareau @ughitsbaby @rousethemouse @criminalsmarts @shrimpyblog @genevievedarcygranger @ssaic-jareau @good-heavens-chris-evans @davidrossi-ismydad @angelsbabey @gublergirls @writefasttalkevenfaster @venusbarnes @hotchsflower @ogmilkis @marvels-agents100 @hotchslatte @risenfox @mrs-dr-reid @captain-christopher-pike @whoreforhotch @pinkdiamond1016 @pan-pride-12 @lee-rin-ah @sunshine-em @word-scribbless @jdougl-love @sageellsworth05 @nohalohoseok @giveusbackourbucky @writerxinthedark @bauslut @dreila03 @forgottenword @aaronhotchnerr @ssa-morgan @buckybau @sana-li @tegggeeee @abschaffer2 @ssacandice-ray @ellyhotchner @lotties-journey-abroad @mrs-joel-pimentel-23-25 @laneygthememequeen @violentvulgarvolatile  @mooneylupinblack @ssareidbby @violet-amxthyst @bwbatta @roses-and-grasses @lcvischmitt @capricorngf @missdowntonabbey @averyhotchner @mandylove1000 @garcia-reid-lovechild  @cevanswhre @qvid-pro-qvo @jeor @spencers-hoodrat @infinity1321 @zizzlekwum @popped-weasels @evee87 @nuvoleincielo @this-broken-band-girl @reidtomestyles @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @winqhster

[cheri-translates]

[CN] 100 Days - Gavin (Day 51 - 100)

🍒 Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers for e-mails which have not been released in English servers! 🍒

What’s the 100 Days Companionship Event?

Day 1 - 3: here

Day 4 - 30: here

Day 31 - 50: here

Day 51

I watched the video of the “police cat” you sent me. Next time, we can have a cat and a dog. Training them together would be pretty nice.

Day 52

I’ve completed the riddle game you recommended. Those people who left comments saying it was difficult are at a certain level.

Day 53

The rice cooker cake you made is very delicious. I’m filled with veneration for my rice cooker - I’ve watched it since it was small.

Day 54

I happened to meet the little kid we sent home the last time. She asked why the Pretty Sister wasn’t around. So is the Pretty Sister resting well?

Day 55

Tried making curry. I’ve tasted it, and it’s not bad. Next time, teach me something else.

Day 56

I bought you milk tea, and hope your week can be a little sweeter.

Day 57

Eli said that the picture I’m using as my phone wallpaper would have looked even better if the angle was tilted slightly. What does he know? You look pretty no matter what.

Day 58

It does feel different eating ice-cream when the weather is cold. But it isn’t good for your stomach, so I’m confiscating half.

Day 59

If you feel cold, you can put your hand into my pocket anytime.

Day 60

This morning, I realised that the tallest tree in the city had white leaves. When I leaned over to take a look, I saw that they were white frost.

Day 61

The picture you sent me yesterday wasn’t a wolf. It’s a Czechoslovakian Wolfdog - a breed of dog which is very loyal and tame.

Day 62 (Double Ninth)

It’s Yang Festival today, so there may be many people going up the mountain. We can watch the sunset later.

Day 63

When I was tidying the room, I found the champion prize from last year’s STF long-distance race in autumn. It’s a keychain of a running military dog.

Day 64

There’s a shop selling your favourite sugar cakes. I’ll bring it to you after work, and hope it’d still be warm when it reaches your hands.

Day 65

Recently, I changed a new driving playlist. Those songs you recommended - I like them very much.

Day 66

In the movie we watched yesterday, I keep thinking that werewolves are even more dashing and decisive than vampires.

Day 67

My phone is spoilt. It’s a good thing I can memorise your e-mail, and didn’t miss the sign-in.

Day 68 (Halloween)

Title: Selecting a jack-o’lantern

There are many types of jack-o’-lanterns in the shop today, and I don’t know which one you like. If you’re not busy, want to take a look together in the afternoon?

Day 69

You mentioned wanting to go fishing the last time. I’ve bought a full set of fishing gear, and will wait till you have time.

Day 70

It’s too cooling to eat watermelons during this season. I bought a hami melon and have placed it in the fridge. Remember to eat it.

Day 71

After the door locked, I realised that I didn’t bring my keys. I never thought that I’d have my forgetful moments too. It’s a good thing the windows weren’t locked.

Day 72

I’ve familiarised myself with the technique of cutting bunny apple slices. Next time, I’ll show it to you.

Day 73

I left home early today, and the sky wasn’t bright yet. Venus looked as though it was within reach.

Day 74

Found a puppy stuffed toy while tidying up, and thought about how it’s been a very long time since we last went to the claw machine together.

Day 75

I know that you’re afraid of the cold, so I bought a pair of gloves. You can wear them when riding on Sparky. It’s a matching set with mine.

Day 76

While watching the German Shepherd in the team undergoing training, I suddenly felt that its life is very worth respecting. Once it decides on a person, it will give its all.

Day 77

Turns out making sandwiches at home is pretty easy. If you want to eat them next time, there’s no need to buy them from the supermarket anymore.

Day 78

There’s renovation going on upstairs, and it’s really noisy. I thought about how you also mentioned that your neighbour does renovation works whenever you’re about to take a nap.

Day 79 (Single’s Day)

Eli and the guys said they didn’t want to see me hovering around in STF today. How baffling. So, I’m here to see you.

Day 80

The colleague who got married last month returned from his honeymoon with some local specialties. I think they aren’t bad, so I left you a share.

Day 81

At this time every year, you’d usually say that it’s cold. But winter this year seems to have a higher temperature.

Day 82

The weather is really good today, and it’s suitable for airing quilts. You mentioned liking the scent of sunlight on quilts.

Day 83

I saw you mentioning on Moments that it’s the final episode of your favourite television drama. I’ve bought snacks, and will watch it together with you.

Day 84

You cried for a really long time after watching the ending yesterday. Are your eyes still swollen? I asked Minor to put some eye patches on your desk. Remember to use them later.

Day 85

I’ve heard of the trust game you mentioned. I can close my eyes and let you lead me, no matter how far it is.

Day 86

I took Sparky Jr. along with me on duty today. It still can’t fly as high as I can.

[Note] In CN, “Sparky Jr.” is called 小小黑 (“xiao xiao hei”), which translates directly to “Little Little Black”!

Day 87

You mentioned that the cafe you often visited has closed down. I’ll bring you to an even better one. Everything can change, but when it comes to being by your side, that won’t change.

Day 88

Next time, don’t lift heavy parcels at the collection point by yourself. Just call me.

Day 89

I was a little tired yesterday so I fell asleep and didn’t reply to your messages in time. You must have been worried from waiting.

Day 90

It’s Minor Snow today, but it isn’t snowing.

[Trivia] “Minor Snow” (小雪 - “xiao xue”) refers to the 20th solar term spanning from 22nd November to 6th December!

Day 91

The bureau received a silk banner today. Eli and the others insisted that I take a group photo. If they want to show it to you next time, you mustn’t look.

Day 92

I’ve set your picture as the background of my new phone. This way, I’ll be able to see you once I pick my phone up.

Day 93

You mentioned having lower back pains recently. I’ve ordered a massage chair for you.

Day 94

On Thanksgiving Day, the person I wish to thank most is you.

Day 95

If it were possible, I’d wish that signing in would never end.

Day 96

Minor wants to invite us to his cousins’ shop to play a board game. I don’t really know how to play it. There are werewolves, civilians, and a priest. Now, we’re just missing a witch.

Day 97

The tangerines you bought the last time are very sweet. If chilled for a while, they’ll be even more delicious.

Day 98

Actually, there’s no need to ask me. No matter what you want to do or where you want to go, I’ll accompany you.

Day 99

Heard a song we listened to together along the street, and couldn’t help but pause and listen for a while.

Day 100

Without realising it, it’s already the last day. But I’ll continue accompanying you.

-

Not enough Gavin sweetness? A fan on Weibo created texts and Moments based on some of his e-mails, which I’ve translated: here

[simp-for-mha-men]

IT’S TIME EVERYONE!!!

First off, I can’t thank you all enough. When I started this account 2 months ago I could’ve never imagined this happening. I’m sending you all a virtual hug just for this!

Second, this event will be open for 1 WEEK and 1 WEEK ONLY. Today is Sunday, August 30, so this event will be open until Sunday, September 6. After the event closes, I will not be doing any more requests from the prompt list.

Now, the explanation of the event! Below, I have a list of prompts that I’ve edited just a bit from @blisfvll. Send in a character and a prompt number (or multiple), and then I’ll write a little scenario for your reading enjoyment. Please check my rules so you know what characters i write for and what topics. Here’s the fateful list:

1. “Is that my shirt?” “You mean our shirt?”

2. “It’s you, it always has been.”

3. “You’re everything I could’ve wanted and more.”

4. “Kiss me.”

5. “Home stopped being a place when you entered my life.”

6. “You should probably go home.” “But I’m already home.”

7. “You’re an idiot.” “But you love me.”

8. “I’d do anything for you.”

9. “You took all the pillows so I’m using you as one.”

10. “Stop moving and let me braid your hair.”

11. “I’m so proud of you.”

12. “Could you say that again?” “Were you not listening?” “No I was, I just like hearing your voice.”

13. “I didn’t think it was possible to love someone this much.”

14. “I’m right here.”

15. “Can you just please hold me?”

16. “I’m pretty sure you’re my soulmate”

17. “You come here often?” “Well, considering I work here, yes.”

18. “I just want to see you happy.”

19. “I haven’t seen you smile like that before.”

20. “You made me a better person. Thank you.”

21. “This reminded me of you.”

22. “Your hair is really soft.”

23. “You’re really warm.”

24. “Are you blushing?”

25. “Can I stay here tonight?”

26. “Because I love you.”

27. “I’ve been in-love with you since we were kids.”

28. “I’m never going to leave you. I promise.”

29. “Make a wish!”

30. “I love seeing you smile.”

31. “Why are you wearing my sweater?” “Because it smells like you.”

32. “I just want to be there for you.”

33. “I couldn’t get you out of my mind.”

34. “You’re just a softie.”

35. “You owe me.” “Fine, whatever you like.”

36. “You’re safe now, I’m here.”

37. “Why are you scared of loving me?”

38. “You are crushing me right now.”

39. “I love you and all, but please leave the kitchen.”

40. “You’re an idiot.” “But I am your idiot.”

41. “Take my hand. Just trust me.”

42. “I told you to take care of yourself.”

43. “You’re the only thing that matters.”

44. “Stay.”

45. “Of course you are, that’s all you know how to do.”

46. “You started it, didn’t you?”

47. “Why can’t you just tell me the truth for once?”

48. “I can’t lose you.”

49. “I loved you.” “Then why did you let (her/him/them) get in between us?”

50. “This is all in my head. It’s all happening in my head.”

51. “Don’t you dare walk away from this!”

52. “You’ve changed.”

53. “You win, happy?”

54. “Don’t look at me like that.” “Like what?”

55. “Let me go.”

56. “You’re not you.”

57. “I miss the old you.”

58. “I miss the old me.”

59. “What happened to our happily ever after?”

60. “Move out of my way before I make you.”

61. “You deserve better.”

62. “I risked my life for you.”

63. “I was happier with you.”

64. “You warned me about this.”

65. “You just threw our friendship out the window.”

66. “You promised.”

67. “Let’s just play pretend.”

68. “I’m sorry I’m not enough for you.”

69. “It’s pouring down rain. Why are you here?”

70. “What happened?”

71. “Have you been taking care of yourself?”

72. “Is that mine?”

73. “Did you know that you talk in your sleep?”

74. “Come back to bed. Please.”

75. “You should’ve listened to me.”

76. “I haven’t seen you in days.”

77. “Are you jealous?”

78. “Why are you in my room?”

79. “This wasn’t my choice.”

80. “Hey, look at me. Focus on me alright?”

81. “I made this for you.”

82. “Why is destruction always your first answer?”

83. “Is this really the time for jokes?”

84. “You always do this.”

85. “Wake me up when it’s over.”

86. “You look happy.”

87. “I’m sorry, do I know you?”

88. “Why can’t I get you out of my head?”

89. “Do you want that?”

90. “Can I at least tell my side of the story?”

91. “Do you trust me?”

92. “Are you flirting with me?”

93. “Are you afraid to die?”

94. “Am I really ‘just a friend?’”

95. “I wasn’t lying when i told you that I loved you.”

96. “I won’t hurt you.”

97. “Have you been sleeping?”

98. “I didn’t know where else to go.”

99. “Can we just talk?”

100. “There’s something I need to tell you.”

Thank you all again for the support. Happy requesting! 💕✨

[drethanramslay]

95 & 98 for Ethan/MC pls 🥺

Thanks for the prompt Anon

You can find the prompt list here.

Taglist: @miyakokurono @trappedinfandoms @openheart12 @sekizincimektup @junggoku @ethandaddyramsey @edith-eggs1 @ethanramseysgirl (let me know if you want to be added or removed from the tag list 😊)

Warning: Long(I tried to put the keep reading tag but my damn wifi won't let me 😭), Angst and slight swearing

sorry if there are any mistakes :)

🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹

Since that bitch of a governor had trolled them and everything had gone down south, the board decided to host a charity event.

According to Leah, a charity event back home would have been a banquet hall with a Dropbox and a couple of very persistent people who would pester you till you would go nuts.

But here, it was... different.

There was aerobatics going on in one end of the room where the stage was. The number of turns they were making on the hula hoops made Leah dizzy. People wearing designer suits and gowns were standing and chatting. The place was decorated in a very classy way, with red carpets and all. Expensive hors d'oeuvres like caviar and champagne which costed a year of her salary was being distributed.

What in the actual fuck was going on? Leah thought as she stepped into the ballroom looking around before she laid her eyes on Ethan.

Broad shoulders, strong biceps and his beard could make any woman weak.

He was wearing a navy blue tux, with a crisp white shirt. He had opened the top two buttons of the shirt and she could get a peak of his strong chest and the stray chest hair. He had gelled his hair which made him look sharper. When his gaze landed on her, the ocean blue eyes darkened as he took in what she was wearing. The primal lust he had in his eyes made her want to get down on her knees and submit to him.

🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹

Red.

It's the colour of sin. The colour of temptation.

It was the colour of the forbidden fruit which Eve had plucked and eaten, while the devil whispered in her ears, caressing her inner desires.

Red. She was wearing red.

Ethan was standing in the corner drinking expensive scotch when he saw her enter. He almost lost it. Leah was beautiful and sexy but that night, she looked like a temptress. Testing Ethan and his self control.

Self control can go out of the window. How am I supposed to survive this evening with her looking like that?! How was he supposed to make an incoherent thought around her when she dressed up like that?!

There were very few instances when he thought Leah looked good with clothes on rather than off. He loved Leah's naked body, which he had only seen twice but in this case, he could stare at her in that gown, forever.

She had donned a blood red gown. It had extensive embroidery in it, making it look classy. The bodice was like a second skin and emphasizing her curves. It started from the neck. A shear net covered her décolletage. It was an off shoulder, with the sleeves extending down her hands, as if they were her wings.

But that was not the problem which made Ethan a walking hard on, it was the slits that ran down from a little below her waist and extended to the ground, putting those glorious, long, caramel legs on display. He wanted nothing more to throw those legs over his shoulder and eat her out.

It was going to be a miserable evening.

🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹

As the waltz music played, Ethan summoned the courage to ask her to dance with him.

Leah was talking to a couple of investors, squeezing them for their last penny with her intellect. He was proud of his sunshine. She really was intelligent and had great people skills.

And so beautiful..

"Dr. Garcia... May I have this dance?" Ethan asked in a husky voice. Leah excused herself before turning towards Ethan with a huge smile on her face. "You may, Dr. Ramsey."

He takes her hand and leads her to the dancefloor where the couples are swaying. Ethan placed one hand on her waist and clasped her hand with the other. Leah placed her hand on his shoulders and they swayed.

Leah's forehead was at the level of Ethan's lips and she felt a ghost kiss on her crown. "You look like a goddess sunshine. So divine and gorgeous."

Leah blushed, giving him a beaming smile. "You look utterly ravishing E. So hot."

Ethan chuckled. "Your compliments always amuse me."

Their eyes met. Cool blue with warm brown, complementing each other. As they stared into each other's eyes, glancing into each other's souls, the people and the chatter faded away.

It was just Leah and Ethan.

"Sunshine, can you please stop biting your lip…it’s distracting.” Ethan said, as his eyes were on her lips. Her teeth were chewing on the luscious red lips, making them so inviting. He wanted to bite that lip.

Leah snapped out of her daydream. "Huh? How?"

"Well... It makes me want to do unspeakable things to you... Which comprises of you, me and a empty room."

Leah's body responded wildly you his words. "So what's stopping you?"

"You know why Leah." Ethan let out a sigh, staring at her lips one last time.

Leah winced and snapped out of the warm gushing feeling. All she felt was cold fury slowly settling into her veins. She was getting exhausted.

Exhausted of this game.

Exhausted of constantly being turned down.

Masking her face to an impassive expression. Her eyes hardened, putting the walls right back, to protect herself. "Ah, yes Dr. Ramsey. I see."

Ethan was confused by the sudden coolness in her tone. He searched her eyes, trying to find something but it just felt like watching a brick wall.

"Leah I-"

The music came to an end and applause resounded through the room. Naveen, wearing a kurta with a Nehru jacket walked on the stage. "Good evening and thank you for coming to this charity event. Thank you for the generous donations."

Leah stepped out of his embrace and turned on her heel and walked. Ethan was going to follow her but Naveen called him on the stage to speak a few words.

Every instinct in him was screaming to follow the woman who had his heart but he turned the other way. As he stood on the stage, he saw a blur of red leaving.

And at that moment, he felt such emptiness in his heart, it pained him.

🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹

Leah sat on the bench, at the edge of the parking lot, away from everyone.

She needed some damn peace and quiet where she could calm down the whirlpool of emotions rushing through her veins. She took out a cigarette and lighter she had stolen from Jackie.

Leah usually didn't smoke. But at moments of stress and intense emotions, she would light a blunt or two and try to relax. To forget.

She took a deep drag, tilted her head up and let out a long puff, feeling the nicotine burning and soothing her at the same time. The familiar feeling of smoke in her lungs calmed her down.

She sat back and saw the rings of smoke floating towards the starry sky.

"Sunshine." Ethan called out.

Goddammit can't even catch a fucking break.

"What is it Ramsey?'

"Are you okay?" He asked pleadingly.

Leah laughed and Ethan looked bewildered. She stood up, with her cigarette in her hand. "Okay? Ethan I am anything but okay! I am pissed, hurt and so angry that I feel like punching your handsome face."

"I'm sorry if I hurt yo-"

"Damn you Ethan. You have that one talent of hurting me without intending to do it. The way you talk, the way you smile, the way your pupils dilate when they see me and the way your stupid arms feel around me is like a tear in my heart. It hurts so bad but I will always come back."

"I-"

"No! You will shut your trap and listen. Ethan Ramsey, you are a blind, dumb, romantic knucklehead, who has such a beautiful way with words. The way you say 'sunshine' with your dumb voice makes me swoon sooo hard. Around you I feel at a loss of words. My thoughts scramble and I lose my grip. "

"What's wrong with that?"

"See! This is what's wrong. You are so fucking blind that you can't see me totally head over heels in love with you."

"Love? BUT- but how can you love me?! It's insane."

"Yes I'm a fucking maniac and a colossal dumbfuck to fall in love with you!! And God, I know you fucking hate the entire institute of marriage and love but did that stop me? NO! You made me fall for you and I hate you for that." Leah was panting. She threw her cigarette on the ground and stomped on it.

"Ight peace out, dude." She was about to walk away but Ethan grabbed her hand.

"Sunshine, sit down."

"No I'm not-"

"Sit your ass, the fuck down." Ethan's voice trembled.

She wasn't going to win this war. So she obliged.

He sat down, and collected his thoughts. "I'm a hard ass. I have mommy issues. I lash out. I drink when I am stressed. And I can get pissed if things are not perfect... The list goes on and on... And you still love me?" Leah nodded her head and Ethan chuckled. "Goddammit sunshine. You know, I don't believe in this love institute. But... I believe in you."

"What is that supposed to mean?" She rolled her eyes and hugged herself.

"It means that I fucking lose my mind seeing men or women flirt with you. It means that when you enter the room I can't take my eyes off you. It means that I want to spend every waking moment beside you. If that's what love is....then I guess I am in love with you Leah Marianne Garcia."

Leah snapped her head towards him. "What?" She whispered out.

"I'm in love with you."

She cupped his cheeks and brought her forehead to his. "Say it again."

"I love you."

Tears streamed down her face. "I love you Ethan Jonah Ramsey. I love you so damn much."

Ethan pressed his lips to hers, tasting the tears of happiness falling down her face. It was such a tender and vulnerable moment. He never thought that he would be sitting on a bench, in a parking lot, confessing his feelings for a woman.

But Leah changed him, healed him, loved him.

He hugged her waist and kissed her harder, trying to pour all his love and affection for this beautiful woman in his arms.

"I need you..." Leah gasped.

Intertwining his fingers in hers, he pulled her towards his car, which was nearby.

He pushed her against the door and bent down to kiss her collarbone and the sweet spot under her ear. Leah let out a breathless moan and Ethan knew that they wouldn't be able to make it till his penthouse.

Opening the door of the backseat, Ethan climbed in first and grabbed Leah and placed her on his lap. Hands wandered touching and feeling. Gasps and moans filled up the small space and I love you's were exchanged.

Ethan tried to reach for the zipper of her dress, impatient to get her naked, but that just ended up in his hand getting tangled in the dress.

"Damn sunshine! Is this a dress or a trap?"

Leah laughed and tried to helped him not before banging her head on the roof of the car. "Ow." She rubbed her head and both of them burst out in peals of laughter.

Ethan kissed her lips they tried to accomodate but it was to no avail. Leah giggled and said, "Backseats aren’t as comfortable as movies make them out to be."

🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹

[virgiliananxiety]

The Dark and the Light

GUYS I FINALLY GET TO POST THIS

This is the first chapter for my fic for the @sanderssidesbang! It will update approximately every two weeks, but updates won’t start for at least another three weeks (I really need a break from this fic). Pairings: Eventual Prinxiety

Word Count: 6.2k 

Warnings: Mild violence and non-graphic gore, panic attack

Read it on AO3

This was really not how Virgil had planned on his evening going.

First off, the date he had been on was actually going pretty well. The guy was nice, and seemed kind of into the whole “dark and mysterious” aesthetic. That was, probably, until Virgil got a text with his latest assignment. Which started in five minutes.

Secondly, once he reached the location, a small concrete warehouse, which housed the head personnel of Deceit’s main rival drug ring, there were...complications. The mission was simple, go in, get the information he needed, slit the throats of whoever saw him, and get out.

Complications came in the form of the little asshole who saw him not being too cocky to call for backup.

“Deceit?” He snarled in response to the chatter in his earpiece. He was hidden in the shadows behind a crate, but by this point, the shadows were starting to fill the room. “What do you want?”

“Anxiety, dear,” Fuck, one of them is right there. “It’s come to light that some of our intel on this base was a little...off,” No shit. Left hook, hit him with a few more shadows, dart to the neck. Why the fuck did he have to scream? Think, Virgil, think! “It turns out that there are about fifty guards on the premises, and from what I’m seeing of traffic patterns, more are on their way.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Footsteps, there were more coming. But suddenly, the room went completely black. Not shadows black, that would take up too much of Virgil’s energy, but the pitch darkness was–

“Unfortunately,  I am not. Though I did shut off their power,” That would explain it. “Which should buy you a little extra time. So I would get that information and get out quick, if I were you.”

Of course, because it was fucking Deceit, he still needed to get the information. Great.

Looking down at the map on his wristband, the exit from the main storage room was only about 35 feet away. But in that 35 feet, there were seven sentries. Just fucking dandy.

The first was, well, an idiot. They charged blindly, and Virgil blocked their throws easily, flipping them over his knee. The second was more tactful, parrying as he jabbed. Their dance lasted for a while, the preamble to each move hidden in the darkness, before Virgil finally stabbed a tranquilizer into their neck.

The third was fast, but not fast enough. The fourth fell after an elbow to the solar plexus, and the fifth slashed Virgil with a jagged blade before he knocked them down. Shit, that might be deep. No time to think about it, and he hit the sixth, but they swept a leg behind him, knocking him clean off of his feet. He landed on his side. Hard. Shadows in their mouth, down to the lungs, and...release as they let out their last breath. Dammit, Virgil, why’d you have to follow that instinct? The power flickered back on, and Virgil hit the seventh with a quick dart to the neck, now that he could finally see. He could feel through his shadows, but that didn’t mean he could see in the dark.

Third left, up the stairs, override the lock, down the hall to the main hard drive. And he ran, long midnight purple jacket trailing behind him as he jumped up the stairs. In the distance more footsteps trailed behind him, but he cloaked himself in shadows, keeping close to the walls. Pressing the device Logan had given him (though he’d modified it for more...sinister usage) against the lock, Virgil took stock of his injuries. Cut in the crook between his left shoulder and neck, scrapes and bruises lining his sides, and even through his gloves he could feel his knuckles splitting. Again.

The unlocking mechanism gave a satisfied click, and Virgil shouldered the door open, reminding himself of the additional bruise he had there. He broke into a sprint again, the servers were finally in view.

But because Virgil wasn’t planning on downloading anything remotely tonight, his software wasn’t activated. So, he had to call his roommate.

“Hey, Roman?”

“What’s up Virgil? You need me to pick you up from somewhere?” It was a well know fact that Roman was the only one in their friend group with a car.

“No, I’m good. Is Logan there?” Virgil and Logan were supposed to meet up for post date (over) analysis about seven minutes ago. Logan was never late.

“Yeah, one sec.” There was a rustling as Roman’s cell was passed from one side of the room to the other, where Logan was, most likely, parked in his customary spot in Virgil’s desk chair.

“Hey, Lo, I’m really sorry I’m running late.”  He heard a huff from the other side of the line, but knew that Logan didn’t really mind. “But I need you to do something on my computer.”

“Is this a simple request? Or one that would require a seperate... technological interfacing?” Virgil could practically see him skeptically eyeing Roman from across the room. Virgil was the only one that Logan had ever told about his powers, how he was able to interface with most technology, and how that allowed him to develop some inventions of his own.

“Simple. I just need you to log in, and press activate on the window that’ll pop up.” He heard the keyboard clicking as Logan typed in his password, and then a mouse click as he activated the software, punctuated by the affirmative beep from Virgil’s wristband. DOWNLOADING FILES: 3% COMPLETE.

“What do you need remote downloading for?” Logan asked, seemingly trying to pass the time. 16% COMPLETE.

“Oh, I had to stop at the library and get a book, but I didn’t feel like getting a thumb drive out.” He felt bad lying to his best friend, but he knew that if Logan found out, it would result in a) Logan trying to get Virgil to stop, and ending up captured or killed by Deceit, b) Logan trying to help Virgil, and ending up captured and used by Deceit, or c) Logan trying to get Virgil out of his predicament, and ending up captured or killed by Deceit.

What was his predicament, exactly? Well, that traces back a long way, through many past traumas, foster homes, packed bags, and escape attempts. Back to when a man with scales on his face told a scared 14 year old boy that he could take him in and make the shadows stop. But that man ended up not being so nice, and now Virgil was trapped.

Footsteps broke through Virgil’s thoughts, but they were far off. 47% COMPLETE. “Logan, I’ve gotta go, I’ll talk to you later.” He ended the call, cutting off his friend’s goodbye, which he was surely going to hear about later.

He scanned his map, and found that there was only one other way out, straight up through an abandoned elevator shaft. Clambering onto one of the server towers, he hunched in the dark as the first hostile entered.

“I don’t see anything here,” they said into a crackling walkie-talkie. Virgil took another slow step, but the circuit below him creaked. Shit. “Wait, hold that thought.” 89% COMPLETE.

“Fuck it,” Virgil cursed under his breath, and broke into a sprint, his feet pounding against the metal. He heard the sentry yell something into his comm system, and Virgil fired a dart messily over his shoulder, he didn’t have the energy for more shadows.

93% COMPLETE. He raced to the end of the room. 94% COMPLETE. More guards charged into the room. 95% COMPLETE. Bullets whizzed past him, one passing only a few inches from his temple. 96% COMPLETE.  He skidded to a stop as he reached the end of the room, a large piece of plywood blocking his exit. 97% COMPLETE.  The running footsteps were coming closer, and Virgil traced the outline of the board with his fingers. 98% COMPLETE. He attempted to pry the plank from the wall, but couldn’t find an opening. 99% COMPLETE. He felt another bullet scrape by him, and it went straight through the plywood, which meant it was thin enough to be broken through.

“Fuck it,” he muttered, and body slammed through the opening, bursting through in a hurricane of splinters.

“Download complete.” An automated voice sounded from his wristband. Well thank god it’s complete, lest I die falling with an incomplete download.

Virgil fired a grappling hook, and pulled himself up onto the roof, surveying the city below him. The lights were beautiful at this time of night, and the lit windows framed by dark buildings looked like the stars.

But he couldn’t stand there for long, for the night wasn’t over yet.

Roman hadn't had an extremely clear vision of how his night would go, but this was definitely not it.

"There are only eight planets! Pluto is essentially a glorified moon!" He practically yelled. He had progressively grown closer to the other man, and they were now a mear couple of feet from each other.

“Falsehood! There’s a current debate discussing the redefinition of ‘planet’, which would make your every argument null and void, and Pluto securely in planetary status.” Logan crossed his arms, nudging his glasses further up his nose. “In other words, Viva la Pluto, and fuck you.” He raised an eyebrow smugly, and Roman opened his mouth to retort.

“Hey, guys,” Virgil stumbled through the entrance to the dorm, clutching his left side. “I hope I’m not too late for some spicy space symposium.” He smirked, but winced in pain.

“Yeah, you’re not participating in anything right now.” Roman walked over and clutched Virgil’s shoulders, lowering him to the bed. “I think you just need some rest,” He motioned for Logan to dim the lights, and he reached over and turned on Virgil’s desk lamp. “And we’ll have you all set by morning to talk about Pluto.”

“M’kay,” Virgil murmured, allowing Roman to shrug off his sweater, and Roman winced at the open gash in his shoulder. He didn’t know what was going on, but this was at least the fourth time Virgil had come home banged up like this, and it was starting to seriously concern his roommate. “‘M gonna sleep now.”

“Okay.” Roman took a last look at Virgil’s already sleeping form and went to go grab his medical supplies. His nursing-theater double major had few perks, but being able to patch up his friends at any time was something that he cherished. Especially after Virgil had said “no hospitals”.

Roman returned from his desk to see Logan hunched over his friend, worry painting his features. As much as the other man tried to uphold his apathetic facade, Roman had seen several cracks throughout the years, several being caused by Virgil.

“Logan, can you stroke his hair to keep him calm while I look at this cut? It may be deep and need stitches.” Logan nodded, and Roman took a look and the cut. It definitely needed stitches, which meant that Roman would have to make a quick run to the nursing lab. “Ok, Xavier, you keep him here. If he wakes up, give him water, half a protein bar, and then back to sleep. Find his phone in whatever pocket it’s in, and confiscate it. He needs to rest.” He grabbed his jacket, and broke off into a sprint to get more supplies.

Several hours and seven stitches later, Roman fell back onto his bed. Logan had left only a few minutes ago, but now Roman was alone, trying to shut down his mind. But truly, how could he when his crus–roommate was lying there with a gash in his shoulder and bruises lining his body. When the boy who put on makeup every morning to cover the bags under his eyes had come home beaten and battered once a week for the past three months, but this time was the only time that he’d let Roman take care of him.

Though Logan had assured Roman that Virgil wasn’t in an abusive relationship, he couldn’t help but jump to that conclusion. He couldn’t help but remember his mom’s screams in the middle of the night. Images of dents in plaster and bloodied tissues clogged his mind, and he felt himself grabbing a piece of blanket and balling it in his fist.

It would be fine. They, being Logan, Roman, and Patton, would ask Virgil what was going on tomorrow morning. Tonight, though, Roman just really needed to get some sleep.

“What the fu–” Virgil awoke with a start as someone shook his shoulder. He sat up and immediately regretted it, groaning as pain shot up his side and into his shoulder.

“Hey, kiddo, glad to see you’re awake.” Virgil turned to see his three closest friends standing over him. Patton gave him a small smile, but there was visible concern overtaking all three of them. Judging by the bandages on his shoulder, and the fact that he was wearing a clean hoodie, they were going to ask him what happened last night.

“Virgil, you know that we only want to best for you, right?” Logan asked.

“What is this, an intervention?” Virgil murmured. What the hell was he going to tell them? That he could control shadows and drain people’s life energy by being in physical contact with them for too long? Yeah, that really wasn’t going to work.

“No, but we do need to know why the hell I needed to put seven stitches in you last night.” Virgil looked up to see Roman leaning against the wall, and he seemed almost...hurt? Jesus, the last thing Virgil wanted to do was hurt the man he was in love wi–his roommate. This was no time for intrusive gay thoughts.

“I–I fell?” He tried to keep his his tone level, but it ended up coming out as more of a question. In response, Roman slammed his fist against the wall.

“Onto a fucking knife?” He exclaimed, and the hurt in his voice turned to anger. Patton placed a soft hand onto his arm, but Roman shook it off as he stepped forward. “You came stumbling back here, an hour late for your and Logan’s post-date. You were delirious from pain, and I had to go to the fucking storage in the lab to get shit to stitch you up, and we’re extremely lucky Terrence was there last night. I’ve seen the missing medical supplies in my kit for months, Virgil, so for the last time, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?” He raised his voice to a yell at the end, causing Virgil to wince back.

“Roman!” Patton turned on his Dad Voice, and sternly turned on the other man. “I understand that you are upset, but you have no right to jump on Virgil like this!”

“Look, it’s my fault.” Virgil murmured, and felt the pit in his stomach from lying grow a bit more. “I didn’t want to tell you guys this, but after dates I’ve been walking through...some of the less accepting neighborhoods. Looking for fights, or to get beat up.” It felt awful to lie to them, but truly, what choice did he have? “I guess it’s a form of self sabotage, or something.”

“Jesus, Virge.” Roman stepped closer, this time to plop down next to him on the bed and place a comforting hand on his thigh. Which sent more tingles through Virgil than he would willingly admit. “I’m so sorry. Please, in the future, call me, I’ll pick you up from wherever, whenever.”

“It’s my fault. I’ll try not to do it as much,” Or rather, he would hide it better.

“Or at all.” Patton lovingly rubbed his back, leaning into his side. And Virgil felt like literal human garbage.

Roman had always loved the snow. But that was before he had to fight some guy who wore all dark and conjured shadows in it.

He hurled another branch at the guy, dubbed by the papers “Anxiety”, catching him in the side. He didn’t want to hurt the guy, but on the other hand, he...really wanted to hurt this guy. Or at least do equivalent damage to what had been done to his pride.

Before this, Roman had been a freelance hero, or at least your friendly neighborhood super-strengthened and bulletproof man. He was able to rescue kids from doing dumb shit, stop a couple of drug deals from going down, that kind of thing. But that was before some dumb asshole in an annoying cool jacket starting fucking with him.

At the start, it was just interfering with his anti-drug operations. But then it became active antagonization, ruining everything Roman tried to help. And when the person didn’t fight with bullets, only really bad lighting, it became an issue.

“You didn’t have to kill the people in this ring!” Roman shouted as he circled around his emo enemy. “You could have just given them to the actual justice system!”

“If you knew anything about me,” A shadow swept towards Roman, curling around his neck and slightly infiltrating his mask. “You’d know,” he motioned a hand upwards, and Roman found himself having trouble breathing, “I couldn’t do that.” Roman tried to run after him, but in a rush of darkness, Anxiety ran off through the night.

“Virgil, dear, it’s been a while since you’ve been down here. What’s the occasion?” Deceit didn’t even bother to look up from his table, writing down some formula or another.

“I need to see Elliott about the new tech and get patched up. I would go to their place, but they said they’re here?” After coming out as non-binary, the hyper-intelligent and slightly emo kid had found themself homeless, and went through the same Deceit process Virgil did. Except after much negotiation, they were paid, and so they lived in a small studio apartment in the part of town where no one asked questions, only using Deceit’s lab when absolutely necessary.

“And here I thought you’d come to see your dear old ferocious father figure.” Deceit drawled, turning around and gesturing towards the staircase at the far end of the room. “He’s downstairs, and make sure you’re good as new before coming up.”

Virgil backed towards the stairs, having known Deceit long enough to not leave his back unwatched. He finally turned to walk down the stairs, glancing over his shoulder every few seconds, and hearing a soft laugh emit from the other man.

“Hey, Ell, what’s going on?” Elliott was positioned at a microscope, and something was heating up on the bunsen burner next to it. They held up one finger, and wagged it towards a bench, motioning for him to sit. Virgil shouldered off his jacket, wincing as he touched bruised skin. Pulling up his shirt, he did a preliminary assessment, but there were just scrapes and bruises. He also needed a little energy boost, because the guy was seemingly impermeable, making Virgil’s job a bit harder.

“Ok. I’m done here. What’s it this time?” Elliott stripped off his gloves, grabbing his rather eccentric med kit off a shelf.

“Asshole threw a tree at me.” Virgil grumbled as they took a closer look. “Just slather it with your magic ointment shit and let me go.”

“No, dickhead, there’s to big of a surface area, and it’s too close to your intestines because you have a zero percent body fat.” Elliott grabbed a tube, and started applying small amounts to the already scabbing area. “This might sting a bit, start talking to distract you from it.”

“How’s...Mitchell doing?” Virgil emphasized the syllables of Elliott’s boyfriend with a particular hatred. “Any new assholic behaviors I should know about?” They rolled their eyes, starting to strap a bandage onto Virgil’s side.

“He’s fine, and we’re fine. I started seeing this new therapist, too.” They finished the bandage, and whatever that cream was really started to sting.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, Dr. Picani.” Elliott nodded, smiling, they seemed to actually like this one. Unlike the last guy, who was, to say the least, a transphobic asshole. Virgil didn’t like to waste innocent lives, but there was a special place on his knife for those who hurt the one he considered a little sibling. “His methods are...unorthodox, but I think it’s going to work well.”

“And how does your boyfriend feel about you seeing him?” Virgil asked, eyebrows pinched in concern. Elliott shrunk back, though slightly, and grabbed another product to help with the bruises.

“It doesn’t matter.” That place on his knife? Mitchell was starting to qualify. “Speaking of love lives, though, how’s it with you-know-who?” They raised an eyebrow, slightly wiggling their shoulders.

“Fuck you,” Virgil lightly punched them in the shoulder, but couldn’t help the blushing grin from his face. “He’s extra, beautiful, strong as hell, and the other day he was singing to himself while he got ready. His voice is just incredible, I can’t believe that I live with an angel.” He stopped himself, meeting Elliott’s eyes and their knowing look. “And also, incredibly out of my league.”

“You’re wrong, but that’s something for another time.” Elliott stepped back, allowing Virgil’s shirt to fall over his injuries. “Those should only take a few hours to heal up, bounce coffee shops until the bandage adhesive starts to crust and loosen. Then you should be good to go home, but make sure to use the lotion I gave you every day to keep your skin okay. I just have one more thing, but I think we should talk as we walk, I need to get home.” They glanced over to the corner where they and Virgil had discovered the bug placed by Deceit. It wasn’t always running, but they had no way of knowing when it was.

“Okay,” Virgil grabbed his bag, trading his long coat for a hoodie, “Let’s go, then.”

They sat at a bus stop, waiting for a bus to pull up for Elliott. The wind blew Virgil’s purple streaked hair over to the other side, causing his companion to smirk. He watched as they fiddled with the hem of their skirt, obviously nervous for whatever they had to tell Virgil.

“I had a breakthrough.” Elliott jerked their head up to meet Virgil’s eyes, and stammered on despite his incredulous gaze. “On the fear toxin-esque chemical? Y’know the one he’s been forcing me to make?”

“Shit.” Was the most eloquent thing Virgil could muster.

“I haven’t tested it on humans, but the chemicals should act, when inhaled, as an extreme anxiety amplifier.” They looked so small, and so scared. Elliot had once said that their brain would be the death of them one day, and by their current state, Virgil couldn’t be sure it wouldn’t be. “Virgil, this thing that I’ve created, it could cause panic attacks that paralyze people. I–I don’t want him to have it.” At the last part their voice dropped to a whisper, and tears started to track down their face. Elliott sniffed and rubbed their cheeks, not looking up to meet Virgil’s eyes. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Hey, hey,” Virgil crouched in front of them. “Breathe. I’ll figure something out, I promise. Just keep breathing.” They took a shuddering breath, matching Virgil’s strokes on their hand. “It’s okay. Just go home, hug your sister, and take a shower. It’ll be okay.” And as much as he wanted to believe that, Virgil didn’t know if he could.

Roman burst the door to his dorm open, expecting the apartment to as empty as he left it. Instead, he was confronted with his purple haired roommate. Shirtless. From the back, he was all lean muscle and sticking out shoulder blades, the curve of his hips falling into his perfectly shaped–

“Roman?” Virgil turned, pausing the toweling of his hair. Roman ripped his eyes up to Virgil’s (only after a glance at his abs, Roman could appreciate art), and nervously scratched his neck. “I wasn’t expecting you to come home this late.”

“Ditto, dude.” Look anywhere but him, you gay motherfucker, anywhere but him. “You’ve been like a ghost the past couple weeks.” It was true, they’d barely seen each other except for studying and occasional ramen breaks since Thanksgiving.

“Yeah, that’s my bad, I’ve been working on a film project that’s mostly being shot at night.” Virgil explained, pulling on a hoodie. Roman walked over to his bed, dropping down and kicking off his shoes. “What’s your excuse, Mr. Double Major?”

“Well, my fucking double major,” Roman laid back onto his pillow, relaxing a bit for the first time that day. “But also, trying to think of a Secret Santa gift for Logan?”

“Oh, that’s a toughie. I got Patton, and I have no ideas, ugh.” Virgil sighed into his hands, plopping cross legged onto his bed. He stuck out a lip, blowing the bangs out of his faces, which was far more endearing than Roman would ever admit.

“But then of course there’s finals,” Roman pulled out his laptop, opening the study spreadsheet that Logan had helped him make. When they had been roommates Roman’s freshman year, the tension and hatred between the two would take a knife to cut. But over time, new friends, growth, and two “frienterventions” (the name was Patton’s idea), they had overcome their differences.

“Oh god, don’t remind me,” Virgil stretched up, his hoodie riding up above his hips, and Roman found himself staring. Not at his body, but rather the faded purple bruises that adorned his hips. Virgil’s eyes narrowed in confusion, but after following Roman’s eyes, he dropped his arms, pulling his sweatshirt over his hips.

“Virgil–” Roman started to reach out, only to be cut off by the other man.

“I need to go shower.” He all but sprinted out of the dorm room, leaving Roman to fall back onto his bed, a million thoughts racing through his mind. And not a single one was good.

Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck. He saw the bruises, even though Virgil had been so careful. He’d been so careful for two months not to come home if he was too beaten up, he’d been so careful to slather on Elliot’s cream whenever he could. He’d been so fucking careful, and yet Roman had still seen the marks.

He threw his towel over a hook, stripping down and turning the shower up as hot as it could go. It burned his skin, but he deserved it, deserved to have all his flesh stripped from his body for hurting him. Deserved to feel the ache on his sides turn to a roaring fire as he pressed inwards, curling into himself. Deserved to feel the hard force of metal on his back as he slammed into the wall of the shower stall, doing his best to breathe as the tears fell, but the oxygen was catching in his throat, and he couldn’t force it down. He stood there for a few minutes, and felt shadows start to envelope him, holding, comforting.

Slowly, he turned the water down, his energy drained from the tight spiral of shadows that still curled around his body.

“Virgil?” Logan’s voice filtered through the steam. Virgil heard the “shink” of the outer shower curtain opening and a muffled “What the hell?”

He turned, trying to collect his racing thoughts. “Logan, what the fuck are you doing?” Virgil thickened this shadows around his body, and he felt the energy leave his body. Logan pushed through the last curtain, a look of pure shock coming over his features. “This isn’t gay fanfiction, you can’t just waltz in here.”

“Well, at least explain all of this.” Logan asked, waving his hand through the lingering shadows. “Is it–is it some sort of concentrated element? It’s fascinating.”

“What? Okay, no, that isn’t–they’re shadows, Logan.” Virgil clenched and unclenched his fist. “Will you please let me put on some damn clothes?”

“Fine. But you are going to explain everything to me as soon as you’re done.” Logan crossed his arms, and Virgil wrapped a towel around himself, the shadows finally dissipating as he exhaled. “Seriously, though, how does it work? Do you conjure them, what the range on it–”

“LOGAN!” Virgil yelled, more forcefully than he intended. “I just had a fucking panic attack because Roman saw the bruises and found out I’ve been lying to him for months. Also, yes, I can manipulate shadows, it’s a sort of dark mattered energy that I’m not exactly certain how works.” Logan just stared at him, eyes wide in front of Virgil’s outburst. “It’s the reason that I kept running away from the homes, until I was fourteen and a fucking criminal mastermind or whatever you want to call him picked me up off the goddamn street.” He could feel the words slurring as he worked himself up, but he needed to tell someone, even if it was just shouting it at his best friend. “You know that guy, the one the news has dubbed ‘Anxiety’? That’s fucking me. I’ve been doing this shit for nine. Fucking. Years. And I’m trapped, and the only thing I can do is keep working for him, keep killing and stealing and breaking for him. I have to keep doing this because if I don’t, he’ll torture and kill everyone I love, and make me watch. I’m so scared, Logan. I’m so fucking scared that I can’t breathe sometimes.” His voice cracked on the last words, and a sob finally escaped his body. Logan reached out, but all Virgil could do was push him away, throw on his clothes, and escape into the starless night.

“Hello?” Phone calls from unknown numbers were something most people were accustomed to, but Elliott didn’t get four in a row from the same number at 1:37 in the morning most nights. Well, five, counting this one.

“Hello. I am attempting to reach Elliott?” They weren’t sure what was going on, but the person on the other side sounded panicked, so they sat up and closed their laptop.

“Yeah, that’s me. What do you need?” Elliot replied, and a heavy exhale came through the phone speakers.

“I’m Logan Xavier, and I’m trying to find Virgil Sanders.” As soon as they heard the words, something clicked inside Elliott. Virgil’s best friend Logan, who appeared to have been affected by the same injections that Elliott and Virgil had, and that his powers were interfacing with technology. How Logan didn’t know about their mutual friend’s shadows, and how Elliott was saved in a private section of Virgil’s computer and phone that could only be accessed if you knew where to look. Or, they guessed, if your brain could automatically hack any system you touched.

“He told you?”

“Yes.” Logan paused, and the weight of his words settled on Elliott’s shoulders. “And now he’s gone. I’ve looked everywhere, and you’re the only one in his contacts I don’t recognize.”

“Yeah,” Elliot threw on a pair of jeans and ran a hand through their hair. “Give me two hours, I can find him.” Logan let out a relieved sigh as Elliott pulled their jacket off its hook. “Oh, and Logan?”

“Yeah?”

“Just let me talk to him, okay? I know where to look, and I know what to do.” They could practically feel the older man opening his mouth to interject. “As good as you are for Virgil in a lot of situations, this isn’t one of them.”

“I understand. Thank you, Elliott. Goodbye.” The line went dead, and Elliott opened their door, stepping out into the city at night.

“You know, sitting on the roof of an abandoned building at 2:30 in the morning kind of marks you as emo.” Virgil looked up from his stare at the tops of surrounding buildings to see Elliott climbing up the last rungs of the access ladder.

“And you joining me kind of marks you as one too.” He responded, smirking through his chapped lips and smudged makeup. “How did you know to look for me?”

“Logan called.” Virgil felt the smirk fall off his face as he turned back to the streets below him. “And we don’t have to talk about him.” He heard footsteps come closer as they neared the ledge he was perched on. “Just scooch over.”

“Well, how did you know where to find me?” Virgil couldn’t help but lean into his friend as he stared at the cars passing by.

“There’s trackers embedded in all your coats, and this was the third abandoned rooftop I checked.” Elliott chuckled under their breath. “Pigeons are much less impressed with my witty one-liners.”

“I have to keep them somewhere, and there’s a lot of abandoned rooftops in this city.” Virgil said in half-hearted protest. The coats were good, they had everything he’d ever needed on a job. And the fabric was warm and comforting, an he didn’t have the energy for any more shadows to blanket himself with.

Elliott leaned back, raising both hands in mock submission. “I wasn’t judging, just observing.”

“Well, they are made by a master of all seam work.” Virgil laughed, a real smile finally adorning his face.

“You flatter me, V.” They joined in his laughter, and Virgil cracked a few more jokes, letting the conversation flow into the night, the sounds of the city drowned out by the sounds of their happiness.

By 3:26, Roman had completely given up on sleep.

After Logan had left around 1:15 with Virgil’s contacts on his phone, Roman knew the night would be long. He’d poured a cup of tea, and cracked opened his textbook, attempt to read about possible respiratory issues in postanesthesia care unit.

By 1:43, Roman had completely given up on studying.

He opened his laptop, a fresh face mask applied to his skin. It was going to be a long night, so he figured that a little bit of Riverdale couldn’t hurt. As it turns out, after watching an episode and a half in his bed, Roman didn’t really care about who was a Southside Serpent and who kissed who. So, naturally, he decided to go to sleep.

That had clearly not panned out.

So that’s how he’d ended up at here, at 3:26, scrolling through his music library to find something to soothe his ever-heightening nerves. He clicked on a random Spotify mix, and opening guitar chords filtered from his speakers, Rihanna’s voice resounding through his speakers.

I think I’ve had enough.

I might get a little drunk.

Roman smiled, and for some reason the song reminded him of others. He started queuing up what he needed, slowly beginning to sing along to the woman he hailed as a queen.

Cause all of my kindness,

Is taken taken for weakness.

He laid back onto his bed, closing his eyes and losing himself for a moment. For a moment, every thought of Virgil, every thought of the purple clad villain almost constantly plaguing his thoughts, every thought about his classes and his upcoming show, they all dissipated. For a moment, he was lost in the beats and instrumentals and melodies. For a moment, he was lost and he wasn’t sure he wanted to be found.

But that moment was shattered as a very tired looking, beaten up Virgil stumbled through the door. He looked up with surprised as he saw Roman was still awake, and fumbled to pull off his headphones.

Roman stood up, his instinct telling him go to him, comfort him, before the events of earlier came crashing down onto his shoulders. He pulled back, giving Virgil some space, and ran a nervous hand through his hair.

“Virgil, I’m sorry about earlier. I overstepped my bounds, it was really uncool of me. I just want to apolo–”

“Roman, stop,” Virgil cut him off, his voice firm and low. Roman looked up at him, and watched a tense, forced smile plaster itself on his friend’s face. “Please. Can we just, can we just talk about this sometime else? I can’t–I can’t really talk about it right now.” He moved to sit on his bed, shedding his long coat and headphones. “Oh, is this that album you wanted me to listen to?”

Roman had completely forgotten the music that was still playing, and he tuned in to hear the first chorus of a song he’d been begging Virgil to listen to for months. Deciding to let the subject change, he switched his queue to the rest of the album, leaning back on his bed once more.

He wanted to say something, to comfort Virgil, but every time he opened his mouth the words died in his throat. There was nothing he could say, nothing he could do. There were his powers, of course, but how could he use them to protect Virgil when he didn’t know who was hurting him? If he asked, he could end up in a state like tonight, or worse. There was just no right thing to say or do, and Roman turned the thought over and over in his mind until a restless sleep finally claimed him.

[ilistenedin]

I can’t sleep

1. Who is your hero? Gerard Way

2. If you could live anywhere, where would it be? North, like somewhere that it actually gets cold

3. What is your biggest fear? Judgement

4. What is your favorite family vacation? We never really did some big thing growing up. We went to Disney and universal a lot.

5. What would you change about yourself if you could? That’s a very long list.

6. What really makes you angry? Cockiness. Being rude.

7. What motivates you to work hard? My paycheck.

8. What is your favorite thing about your career? My paycheck.

9. What is your biggest complaint about your job? The people.

10. What is your proudest accomplishment? Making it this far.

11. What is your child's proudest accomplishment? My child, who is also my cat, lost a lil bit of weight. He feelin himself.

12. What is your favorite book to read? Anything by Stephen King.

13. What makes you laugh the most? Gay memes

14. What was the last movie you went to? What did you think? Saw Aladdin. It was pretty good.

15. What did you want to be when you were small? A veterinarian.

16. What does your child want to be when he/she grows up? My children, who are also my cats, are grown and content.

17. If you could choose to do anything for a day, what would it be? Eat anything and everything but not gain weight.

18. What is your favorite game or sport to watch and play? Marching Band. Yes it’s a sport, fight me about it. (I also like football)

19. Would you rather ride a bike, ride a horse, or drive a car? Drive a car

20. What would you sing at Karaoke night? That’s such a hard question. I gotta get back to you on that one.

21. What two radio stations do you listen to in the car the most? The local rock station and the local r&b/hip hop station

22. Which would you rather do: wash dishes, mow the lawn, clean the bathroom, or vacuum the house? Vacuum

23. If you could hire someone to help you, would it be with cleaning, cooking, or yard work? Cleaning

24. If you could only eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be? Ramen. But like, good ramen. Not cup noodles.

25. Who is your favorite author? Stephen King

26. Have you ever had a nickname? What is it? I have... many. Lindiepop, Lindita, mumski, some other embarrassing stuff

   27. Do you like or dislike surprises? Why or why not? Dislike, I’m bad at reactions.

   28. In the evening, would you rather play a game, visit a relative, watch a movie, or read? movie

   29. Would you rather vacation in Hawaii or Alaska, and why? I wanna say Alaska cause cold, but I’m gonna day Hawaii cause scenery.

   30. Would you rather win the lottery or work at the perfect job? And why? Perfect job. Steady income, not bored.

   31. Who would you want to be stranded with on a deserted island? No one.

   32. If money was no object, what would you do all day? Online shop, eat, travel. Sleep.

   33. If you could go back in time, what year would you travel to? The 20’s maybe. Just to visit tho.

   34. How would your friends describe you? Probably funny.

   35. What are your hobbies? Drumming, sleeping, drawing, writing, sleeping, video games, and sleeping.

   36. What is the best gift you have been given? Love from any person.

   37. What is the worst gift you have received? Love from any person.

   38. Aside from necessities, what one thing could you not go a day without? Humor.

   39. List two pet peeves. Loud, open mouth chewing. Lack of special awareness.

   40. Where do you see yourself in five years? I don’t.

   41. How many pairs of shoes do you own? .... too many.

   42. If you were a super-hero, what powers would you have? I’d want whatever Scarlet witch is. Telekinesis for sure doe.

   43. What would you do if you won the lottery? Buy my mom and sister a house. Save the rest for the future. Take my gf to Celebration next year.

   44. What form of public transportation do you prefer? (air, boat, train, bus, car, etc.) my car.

   45. What's your favorite zoo animal? Lion.

   46. If you could go back in time to change one thing, what would it be? That’s too much pressure...

   47. If you could share a meal with any 4 individuals, living or dead, who would they be? Gerard Way, Frank Iero, Mikey Way, and Ray Toro.

   48. How many pillows do you sleep with? One

   49. What's the longest you've gone without sleep (and why)? Days. My brain is an asshole.
   50. What's the tallest building you've been to the top in? I have no idea.

51. Would you rather trade intelligence for looks or looks for intelligence? Looks for intelligence.
   52. How often do you buy clothes? ...too often.

   53. Have you ever had a secret admirer? Yep

   54. What's your favorite holiday? Halloween

   55. What's the most daring thing you've ever done? Go to the Philippines for five whole weeks with less than a two month notice.

   56. What was the last thing you recorded on TV? I don’t do that.

   57. What was the last book you read? Oooooof I don’t even remember. That makes me sad.

   58. What's your favorite type of foreign food? Japanese food

   59. Are you a clean or messy person? Messy as fuck

   60. Who would you want to play you in a movie of your life? I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.

   61. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? 10 min

   62. What kitchen appliance do you use every day? The fridge???

   63. What's your favorite fast food chain? McDonalds.

   64. What's your favorite family recipe? Don’t have one...

   65. Do you love or hate rollercoasters? Love

   66. What's your favorite family tradition? ... don’t have one

   67. What is your favorite childhood memory? I don’t remember shit anymore

   68. What's your favorite movie? Right now it’s Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again.

   69. How old were you when you learned Santa wasn't real? How did you find out? I don’t remember ever believing in Santa

   70. Is your glass half full or half empty? Half empty

   71. What's the craziest thing you’ve done in the name of love? Try to love myself

   72. What three items would you take with you on a deserted island? Hunting knife, water purifier, and a sleeping bag.

   73. What was your favorite subject in school? English.

   74. What's the most unusual thing you've ever eaten? I have eaten a lot of “weird” stuff. It all depends on your point of view.

   75. Do you collect anything? Funko Pops.

76. Is there anything you wished would come back into fashion? No lol

   77. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Introvert.

   78. Which of the five senses would you say is your strongest? Taste.

   79. Have you ever had a surprise party? (that was an actual surprise) I can’t remember

   80. Are you related or distantly related to anyone famous? Don’t think so.

   81. What do you do to keep fit? I’m not fit lol.

   82. Does your family have a “motto” – spoken or unspoken? Nope

   83. If you were ruler of your own country what would be the first law you would introduce? Be fucking nice.

   84. Who was your favorite teacher in school and why? I’ve had a lot of fave teachers. Hard to choose just one.

   85. What three things do you think of the most each day? My gf, my cats, dying?

   86. If you had a warning label, what would yours say? “Prone to frequent highs and lows in mood”

   87. What song would you say best sums you up? I don’t think that’s for me to answer.

   88. What celebrity would you like to meet at Starbucks for a cup of coffee? Gerard Way

   89. Who was your first crush? Pretty sure I had a huge crush on this red head named Jessica in first grade. I just didn’t know it was a crush.

 90. What's the most interesting thing you can see out of your office or kitchen window? I work at home now, so a river.

   91. On a scale of 1-10 how funny would you say you are? I think I’m a 5 at best. I think my friends would disagree.

   92. Where do you see yourself in 10 years? I don’t.

   93. What was your first job? Valet in Miami Beach

   94. If you could join any past or current music group which would you want to join? I wouldn’t lol

   95. How many languages do you speak? 2

   96. What is your favorite family holiday tradition? We don’t have any.

   97. Who is the most intelligent person you know? My gf or my sister

   98. If you had to describe yourself as an animal, which one would it be? A hermit crab.

   99. What is one thing you will never do again? Be pathetic

 100. Who knows you the best? My sister probably.

[customloading297]

Drivers Pcnet Laptops & Desktops

Since this is now became a common request by many, I decided to write a tutorial about Windows 9x (95/98/98SE/Me) usage on VirtualBox.

Drivers Pcnet Laptops & Desktops Refurbished

Drivers Pcnet Laptops & Desktops Best Buy

Drivers Pcnet Laptops & Desktops Cheap

Drivers Pcnet Laptops & Desktops

1,172 Followers, 293 Following, 11 Posts - See Instagram photos and videos from abdou now online (@abdoualittlebit). Omega usb devices driver download for windows. Network Adapter 1 Use Bridged Adapter and ensure it’s a PCNET-Fast III; USB Set the USB controller to USB 1.1 (USB 2.0 didn’t gain widespread adoption until Windows XP) Whilst still in the Settings dialog box of your VM, you may mount the Windows 98 CD or ISO image before running it. Pelham laptops & desktops driver download. Once done, select OK to close the dialog box.

PenMount Windows Universal Driver V2.4.0.306(WHQL) for Windows 2k/ XP/ 2003/2008/Vista/7/8/WES7. The content is empty Download file missing Invalid download link. PenMount Windows Universal Driver V2.0.0.113 2007-12-24. The content is empty Download file missing Invalid download link Download speed is slow Others. Penmount driver download for windows 8.1.

Forenote: Windows 9x is not officially supported by VirtualBox team, which means, that it lacks Guest VM Additions, and it runs slowly, because VirtualBox is not optimized to run Win 9x. 1. Installation - I won't cover here in detail, except few points. Most CD-ROMs available for Windows 95/98 are not bootable, which means, that you must boot from DOS floppy, install DOS first and only then install Windows 95/98. *It does require DOS skills* Official bootable CD media is starting from 98SE. So if you're newbie, you should use Windows 98 SE bootable CD. Additionally I strongly suggest to limit system RAM to 512 MB for those OSes. Otherwise it will crash. (There are workarounds, that allow Win 9x run on modern physical systems, but I won't go into detail here) In some cases enabling or disabling AMD-V/VT-x can help you install the O.S. For this tutorial, I presume, that you are able to install the OS. Installing with ACPI: (contributed by Richard_S) Contrary to what you may have read here in some of the other VirtualBox Win98 threads, this is NOT because Win98se is a poorly written piece of antiquated crap that doesn't even know how to properly handle CPU IDLE. Back when a lot of todays young Linux geeks were still pooping their dipiys, Win98 was already supporting ACPI functions to create greener PCs and help keep laptops from running down their batteries in 10 minutes (which is exactly what DID happen to me the first time I installed Linux on a laptop that was working FINE in Win98). So, long story short, there is NOTHING really wrong with Win98, the problem is that VirtualBox's emulated BIOS doesn't fully match up with what Win98 expects a real ACPI BIOS to look like, so by default Win98 will not install ACPI support (and unfortunately, the older APM support doesn't handle CPU IDLE, so we get problems). The solution is to FORCE ACPI support to be installed, by using the /p j command line switch when running the setup program that installs Win98. This means that you can't just jam the virtual CD into the virtual CD drive and let 'autorun' take care of everything. The best way to handle this is to simply move the Win98 install folder from the Windows 98 SE CD onto your virtual C: drive in VirtualBox, then change directory to that folder in a DOS prompt and run the setup program manually: setup /p j This will force ACPI power management (and the associated CPU IDLE functions) to be installed, and your Win98 virtual machine will consume no more system resources when running than a similar XP or Linux virtual machine. 2. Sound /Audio Integration. In VirtualBox, you must enable Sound, and use 'Sound Blaster 16'. It is available since VBox 1.6.0. The procedure for installation is rather simple: NOTE: The procedure below is only needed if you switch from AC'97 to SB16. It is not needed, if you create new VM with SB16, then install Win98 on it. 2.1. Delete your sound card device and all unknown devices from 'Device Manager'. 2.2 Add New Hardware (from Control Panel).

Code: Select allExpand viewCollapse view

(img)http://img178.imageshack.us/img178/2780/win98soundscreenshot01xg6.png(/img)

win98soundscreenshot01xg6.png (44.95 KiB) Viewed 805988 times

Code: Select allExpand viewCollapse view

(img)http://img502.imageshack.us/img502/3426/win98soundscreenshot02sd3.png(/img)

win98soundscreenshot02sd3.png (39.97 KiB) Viewed 805988 times

2.3 Select 'no, device is not listed in the list'.

Code: Select allExpand viewCollapse view

(img)http://img397.imageshack.us/img397/7972/win98soundscreenshot03so7.png(/img)

win98soundscreenshot03so7.png (40.95 KiB) Viewed 805988 times

2.4 Let Windows search for non-plug'n'play devices.

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(img)http://img168.imageshack.us/img168/1111/win98soundscreenshot04gd2.png(/img)

win98soundscreenshot04gd2.png (42.2 KiB) Viewed 805988 times

2.5 It will manually detect non-plug-n-play devices. Click on 'Details' to show them.

Code: Select allExpand viewCollapse view

(img)http://img413.imageshack.us/img413/9726/win98soundscreenshot05yx4.png(/img)

2.6. It will find 'Soundblaster 16 or AWE 32 or compatible'.

Code: Select allExpand viewCollapse view

(img)http://img413.imageshack.us/img413/2001/win98soundscreenshot06me3.png(/img)

win98soundscreenshot06me3.png (39.92 KiB) Viewed 805988 times

2.7. Restart the VM. 3. Video driver integration. By default Windows 98 will run only in 640x480 resolution, 16-colors. Performance Note: VirtualBox is not optimized for 16-colors (4-bit) emulation. It works very slow this way. Having 32-bit True Color driver makes Win98 VMs run on VirtualBox *much* faster. If you want True color or high resolution, you need to download special drivers. 3.1. bearwindows driver (unstable) http://bearwindows.zcm.com.au/ NOTE: You must install 'Universal version' (2nd link), as the 'VirtualBox' version is known to have problems. WARNING: This driver is buggy, and many Windows fonts do not render correctly with it. Not recommended. 3.2. SciTech Display Doctor (recommended) The second option is to get the SciTech Display Doctor version 7 beta driver (12 MB) -

Drivers Pcnet Laptops & Desktops Refurbished

(contributed by Richard_S) https://www.dropbox.com/s/226caou8x0jf8 .. ctor-7.iso -or- https://docs.google.com/open?id=0BycgkM .. UhnWGRycVE The driver is a high quality commercial grade video driver (even includes some software emulated Open GL 3D support), and it does include an exe installer program. Despite having an installer, the SciTech Display Doctor is a little tricky to get going. After the program launches, you have to find the little round radio button link to click to 'enable' the new driver (otherwise you still have VGA). Even then, you can't select any higher resolution modes until you ditch the 'default monitor' and select one of the 'Super VGA' types. After fiddling around with the above changes and rebooting several times you should be able to select 800x600 or 1024x768 (or higher) resolutions with 32 bit color depth. (setting 32 bit color mode optimizes the interface with Virtualbox and really speeds things up) 4. Network Easiest thing, is to setup VirtualBox to NAT, and AMD PCnet-II network chip. It will be auto-detected by Win 9x.

5. Mouse (contributed by stefan.becker) VirtualBox 4.1 provides for Windows-98-compatible USB tablet device. Enable USB Tablet: VM->Settings->System->Enable Absolute pointing device then do: (enable Windows-98 mode) VBoxManage setextradata 'VM name' 'VBoxInternal/USB/HidMouse/0/Config/CoordShift' 0 docs: '12.3.8 USB tablet coordinates .. in Windows 98 guests' 6. Shared Folders Since VirtualBox shared folders won't work, there are other ways, such as SMB/Windows File Sharing. Recommended for Windows hosts. (Tested with VBox 2.1.2.-- and was successful with 'bridged' network. I had no success with NAT.) WARNING: I admit that with VirtualBox the network is very unstable, presumably due to very slow performance of Win 9x guests under VBox. For Unix hosts, WinSCP is recommended. Another way of read-only file sharing is to create a virtual CD-ROM *.iso file on the host and insert it into the guest VM. 7. Clipboard Host<=>Guest (contributed by stefan.becker) Clipboard integrated in VirtualBox only works with the Guest Additions, so not for Windows9x. But there is another solution: Clipboard over TCP/IP. A Solution tested successfull with Linux Host is ShareClip: http://homepage.mac.com/bnej/shareclip/ -Technologov Written on 2.9.2008, updated on 18.07.2011.

Drivers Pcnet Laptops & Desktops Best Buy

Please discuss this tutorial here

Drivers Pcnet Laptops & Desktops Cheap

Drivers Pcnet Laptops & Desktops

This topic is only for additions to this tutorial. Do not ask questions about how to get something working. Use a separate topic for that.

[bbparker]

Slip of the Tongue (Peter Parker)

Synopsis: Peters rival in everything he does is actually his girlfriend, but nobody knows that due to Peter not wanting to compromise her safety. But one day, Peter accidentally lets slip to a friend about (y/n)’s home problems, and suddenly (y/n) is the pinpoint of everyone’s gossip. 

AN: So, my first request and It was so cool to write! So much Angst… Also, might do a part two if it's requested enough! :)

Warnings: Ugh none… unless you count a lot of hurting because that happens…

Requested by the amazing @suit-lady taken from this prompt list!

4. How could I? How could you?!

25. Cute But Still fucked up

39. Just Kidding, I don’t care

// Masterlist //

(Y/N) struts down the hall with her best friend in tow. (Y/N) knew she was smart and she was beautiful but she also had her doubts about herself, especially when it came to her and her boyfriend. Speaking of, “hey dork, what did you get on the chemistry test yesterday?”

Peter turns around and semi mad expression on his face, fake of course. They had been actual enemies until last year when (y/n) just decided to kiss him after school when both were stuck at school. Nobody was around but after that, they hit it off and became secretly boyfriend and girlfriend.

(Y/n) believes it’s for her reputation at school but really, Peter doesn’t want any enemies to find out about his little affair.

“U-uhm, 95%” A loud laugh fell from (y/n)s mouth, which had obviously made Peters world comes to a short standstill. Admiring her from a far never quite did it for him but after she kissed him last year, he never could get enough of her.

“Ninety-eight” She dragged out while smirking, her best friend laughing and even some surrounding as she continued down the hall. These encounters always happened and they aren’t as bad as they used to be but they had to keep up appearances.

————–

(Y/n)’s music blasted around her as she read over the homework. Getting up the change the song, silence filled the room before a slight tapping on glass could be heard. She instantly ran over to her window, knowing who it was. Kind brown eyes stared back at (y/n) as she forgot to open the window and instead just stared. Admiring how his natural curls fell over his forehead, how the slight smile lifted as he noticed her staring.

“C-can you open the window (y/n)? It’s k-kinda cold out here.” Stumbling with her hands, she opens the window and lets him in and shuts it once more. Feeling arms around her waist and his face peppering her neck with kisses, she smiles in happiness. Turning in Peters' arms to face him, she begins to lean up and-

“Did you really get 98% on your Chemistry?” (Y/n) laughs and nods. “You helped me study for it after all!” Leaning up she finally gets to rest her lips upon his.

With hands on her waist and hands around his neck, they kissed slowly and sweetly. “Cuddles?” “Cuddles.”

Laying on his chest, (y/n) suddenly mumbled, “Do you ever realise how cute we are together but how fucked up this situation actually is?” Peter let out a laugh, “Yeah, actually. I do.”

Both fell asleep in each other’s arms, the two forgetting their responsibilities for a couple hours. (Y/n) was startled awake by the sound of yelling, of course from her parents who had been on the edge of divorce for four months. Sitting up she sat on the edge of the bed just thinking. (Y/n) then felt arms slide around her waist from behind and a slow smile begins to inch up her cheeks.

“Hey, hey it’s alright. I’m sure they’re fine.” Peter attempts to sooth (y/n). In some notion, it was embarrassing having Peter hear the things escaping her parent's mouth.  Turning around, she considered Peter’s eyes before crashing her lips onto his. This kiss was passionate and fast, (y/n) attempting to put all she feels across to Peter.

Moving away from Peter, she could see the dazed look in his eyes at the simple taste of her. Looking over at the time Peter scrambles around collecting his things. “Shit, May wanted me home by 5!” (Y/n) let out a slight laugh, “Peter it’s ten past five AND you live on the floor below me. You’ll be fine.”

Giving her a quick kiss, which led to many more quick kisses, Peter was out the window and down the fire escape to his room. “That boy is going to kill me one day.”

————–

It seemed that the day had arrived.

Walking into school and have people stare at you was a normal occurrence within (y/n)’s life considering who she sat with. But lunch time rolled around and people began to give her different looks, whispering to each other. (Y/n) nervously glances around and decides to quickly make her way to her usual table.

This time instead of moving over to make space they seem to block a few seats. “What’s going on?” (Y/n) says, standing in front of her friend's table. “We think it's best if you… sit somewhere else…” Her supposed best friend mumbles. “Why?” (Y/n) nearly shouts.

Flash Thomson suddenly leans over, technically ripping the Band-Aid off. “Look nobody wants to hand out with a depressed girl with a screwed-up home life. Now shoo.” Frozen for a minute, (y/n) couldn’t think of why anyone would think she’s depressed or how they would have possibly known about her parents. She’d never mentioned it and her appearances had been kept up, there was no way nobody could know. Unless…

Suddenly her head snaps towards the all too familiar table. Who is the only person in this school who lives close enough to know about her parents? Who’s the one who comforted her when she cried about it? Who had she been turning to for the last year?

Walking quickly over to the table with narrowed eyebrows and eyes, (y/n) see’s Peter with his back to her. Ned sitting opposite him spots me and begins to quickly tell him something but it’s too late. Before Peter even has the chance to turn around, (y/n) dumps all her food on his head.

“You know as much as I thought you hated me, I had no clue you hated me this much.” Peter couldn’t do anything but stare, pasta and meat covering his hair, face, and shoulders. He didn’t move and neither did the rest of the school, waiting to see what she did next. “Oh, I’m sorry did I mess up your pride? Just kidding, I don’t care. Come near me again, Parker, and you’ll get a whole lot more than just some lunch on your clothes.” The bell rang and everyone cleared out.

Peter weakly said “(y/n) …” She ignored him as she grabbed her bag and left the building, not bothering with the rest of her classes.

“Peter, what have you done?” Ned slowly said, looking to his best friend. Peter could only stand there looking down with tears brimming his eyes.

 ————-

Low music played throughout (Y/n)’s room as she heard the continuous window knocks. She saw Peter and got up towards the window. Hope spiked for Peter but quickly shut down as (y/n) closed the blinds.

“(Y/n) Please!” Peter called through the window. (Y/N) ignored his pleads until he had decided to drop a bomb. “You don’t understand…”

She’d never tore open the curtains and window so fast. Gripping his collar, she all but threw him into her room. Closing the window, she turned towards him with fury written on her face. “I don’t understand what Parker?! That you hated me so much you had this big plan to get me to open up to you so you could spill my secrets to the whole school?! Because I thought we had an agreement? Do you think I ran around school telling people that you’re some vigilante who runs around in spandex?! Huh?!” Peter’s eye could only widen and stare as she threw her arms up during her speech.

“I don’t hate you!” He finally blew up. “It was a slip of the tongue! I was just talking to Michelle a-about things and suddenly the topic moved to you a-and it just s-slipped out! Someone could have over-heard it o-or maybe… I don’t know but please-”

“IT JUST SLIPPED OUT?! HOW ABOUT SPIDER-MAN'S IDENTITY JUST SLIPS OUT OF MY GOD DAMN MOUTH?!” (Y/n) screams. She knew in some way she was over reacting but she had just lost her friends, have the whole school talk about her and now she was probably in a lower social standing than Peter.  (Y/n) would now have a tough home life as well as a horrible school life.

“How could you say that?!” Peter finally yelled back. “How could I? How could you?!”

A slight pause in the argument seemed to have simmered the heat. (Y/n)’s eye’s brimmed with tears. “I don’t quite think you understand what you’ve done, Parker.” It hurt Peter to hear his last name come out in such a vengeful tone rather than the sweet ‘Peter’ she used to smile with.

“My home life has already gone to shit, but now I’ve just lost all my friends. I’ve got nobody because you just let it slip out. I hope you're finally happy that we’re over. Now get out.” Peter stood shell shocked only realising the gravity of her as well as his situation.

Six things went through Peters' head as he left the apartment via the fire escape knowing nothing can repair this right now;

Number one. She’d never trust him again.

Number two. She’d probably be worse off than him at school

Number three. He’d never get to kiss or hold her again.

Number four. He’d royally fucked up.

Number five. He didn’t know if she would keep his identity a secret after he let out her biggest secret.

And Finally, Number six. He loved her, but it was too late.

-------

[Part Two.]

[acciofics]

Song Lyric Prompts

Someone request something! °°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°° 1. "I'll start a riot." 2. "What's my age again? 3. "Her yellow SUV is now the enemy." 4. "We'll have Halloween on Christmas, if you want." 5. "I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed." 6. "I'll keep you my dirty little secret." 7. "I wish I could wake up with amnesia." 8. "Forget about all the stupid little things." 9. "If I woke up with you right beside me, I'd hold you closer than I ever did before and you'd never slip away." 10. "It's about a girl." 11. "They don't need to understand." 12. "We were always running away." 13. "We do it our own way." 14. "I won't walk down the same old road that they all follow." 15. "We don't have to dance." 16. "I'll break it to you easy, this is hell. Literal hell." 17. "These long, long legs have been damn near everywhere." 18. "I go back to December all the time." 19. "I'm so glad you made time to see me. Tell me, how's life? How's your family? I haven't seen them in a while." 20. "Your guard is up and I know why." 21. "The last time you saw me still burns in the back of your memory." 22. "This is me, standing in front of you, saying I'm sorry for that night." 23. "Turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you." 24. "These days, I haven't been sleeping. Staying up, replaying myself leaving." 25. "Realized I loved you in the fall." 26. "You gave me all your love and all I have you was goodbye." 27. "I wrote this letter just to numb your pain." 28. "If you can't take me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best." 29. "Life is all about making mistakes. Life's also about being great." 30. "I fall, I break, I mess up, I make mistakes." 31. "Monday left me broken." 32. "Am I outta my head? Am I outta my mind?" 33. "What can I say? It's complicated." 34. "You keep me in with those hips." 35. "Okay, yeah. I'm insane." 36. "I'm one of those melodramatic fools." 37. "It's all keeps adding up." 38. "Am I just paranoid?" 39. "I want you and your beautiful soul." 40. "I know that you are someone special." 41. "I hope you see the heart in me." 42. "Tell me pretty lies." 43. "Tell me that you love me, even if it's fake." 44. "You're slurring a your words, not making any sense." 45. "I act like I don't fucking care." 46. "I'm only a fool for you." 47. "I act like I don't fucking care because I'm sorry fucking scared." 48. "Look me in the face." 49. "You've been out all night. I don't know where you've been." 50. "I can't believe you sold me out for a kid like that." 51. "I hope you burn." 52. "You're making me sick." 53. "I've got more secrets than you'll ever know." 54. "Too many times I've told myself to hold on." 55. "Another year and you won't let it go." 56. "You'll never really know what this means to me." 57. "Told myself I wanna face this fear." 58. "Everybody says she looks just like her mother but I think she wants that left alone." 59. "There's too many ways to say goodbye." 60. "It's quite the opposite this time." 61. "Sometimes I can't help but say 'I'm falling in love' and it's scaring me." 62. "It came to me in a dream!" 63. "I'm not a hero or a saint." 64. "Don't push me away." 65. "When you believed in me, you brought us together." 66. "Everybody says it won't last forever." 67. "Yeah, you sure broke my heart last week." 68. "Don't say I don't know you." 69. "I know you're feeling sad." 70. "I don't feel bad." 71. "You got a lot of nerve to say this is all my fault." 72. "You better know what you got before you go and throw it away." 73. "I won't go until you come outside." 74. "You're the one I want." 75. "If only you could see all the beautiful things I see in you." 76. "You're the only one that's got my heart and that's the I ly thing that matters." 77. "Just keep that smile you're flashing." 78. "You're the only enemy you ever seen to lose to." 79. "My belief is in pieces." 80. "My sheets have grown cold." 81. "I wish you could feel this but you'll never know." 82. "You're perfectly perfect." 83. "We're two different people." 84. "I should've warned you." 85. "I wrote a letter on Monday." 86. "It's full of these bitter words." 87. "We aren't the same." 88. "I could tell you weren't in love with me." 89. "I don't even know you but I know for sure you are beautiful." 90. "I'm overly attracted." 91. "She could be my princess and I could be her prince." 92. "Loving can hurt sometimes." 93. "You know it can get hard sometimes." 94. "You won't ever be alone." 95. "All I can say is, the stress hurts." 96. "Too much going on at the same time." 97. "Yeah, I'm fucked up." 98. "I'm empty inside." 99. "I just don't feel alive." 100. "I wish it wasn't so tempting." 101. "I wonder if I'm good enough." 102. "Keep the change and have a nice day." 103. "I can still hear the sound of you saying 'dont go'." 104. "I hope you know, this has nothing to do with you." 105. "I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket." 106. "It's time to be a big girl now." 107. "I'm not what you wanted." 108. "I don't know why I cared so much." 109. "I hope you find what you're looking for." 110. "Who'd you think you'd fool, baby?" 112. "All the tables are turning." 113. "I still think about you." 114. "Baby, you look good." 115. "She's a heart stopper." 116. "I just wanna kiss your lips." 117. "Me? I trusted him." 118. "This kid is insane man!" 119. "What's your name?" 120. "Just you wait." 121. "This one's mine." 122. "You walked in and my heart went boom" 123. "Why are you crying?" 124. "Sometimes I wish she was you." 125. "Opportunity Knicks and you take it." 126. "It's been about a year now." 127. "Damn, those sweet memories." 128. "I found a letter you wrote me." 129. "I don't wanna see you with her." 130. "Word gets around." 131. "I'm happy for you, love." 132. "Why do I love you?" 133. "I miss you when I can't sleep." 134. "Do you miss me?" 135. "I'm always tired but never of you." 136. "You said you wouldn't and you fucking did." 137. "I'd do anything." 138. "In the end, does it even matter?" 139. "Look at where we are. Look at where we started." 140. "We danced the night away." 141. "You smiled over your shoulder and for a second, I was stone cold sober." 142. "I knew I loved you then." 143. "I knew I needed you." 144. "I want to stay with you til we're grey and old." 145. "I'll bring you coffee in bed." 146. "I'll thank my lucky stars for that night." 147. "You look as beautiful as ever." 148. "Your mind is rather reckless." 149. "What a beautiful mess this is." 150. "Well it kind of hurts." 151. "You don't know my name." 152. "I'm telling you to your face." 153. "I'm sick of wasting all my time." 154. "You're giving me a million reasons to let you go." 155. "I'm about to break." 156. "Show me the way." 157. "I just need one good reason to stay." 158. "You're the baddest little thing I've ever seen." 159. "Since you left, I've been holding onto a memory." 160. "You're not mine anymore." 161. "Let me go!" 162. "I'd die for you." 163. "I still remember what you wore the first night." 164. "You don't look the same." 165. "What's it like to leave me behind." 166. "I'm fighting back." 167. "Nice to see you too." 168. "Always ends too soon." 169. "I won't be like you." 170. "I'm just so scared." 171. "Come as you are." 172. "Meet me inside." 173. "These times are hard. They're making us crazy." 174. "Don't give up on me, baby." 175. "Darling, don't be so shy." 176. "I'll see you at midnight." 177. "In the morning, I'll wait to see you again." 178. "When you go, don't ever think I'll make you try to stay." 179. "Take your gloves and get out." 180. "So tired of all the needless beating." 181. "Well, if you wanted honesty, that's all you have to say." 182. "Remember the time you broke your foot from jumping out the second floor?" 183. "You wear my out." 184. "They don't care, as long as some bleeds." 185. "I heard you down the hall." 186. "But you never said anything!" 187. "Never thought I would feel like this." 188. "Such a mess when I'm in your presence." 189. "I probably shouldn't brag." 190. "I'm in trouble." 191. "I'm addicted to this girl." 192. "She's all I want and more." 193. "Is she out of my league?" 194. "I'm left with no choice." 195. "I swear, she's going mad." 196. "It didn't slow me down." 197. "Always second guessing." 198. "You stole my heart." 199. "You been talking in your sleep." 200. "Just a little bits enough." 201. "It's in the stars." 202. "We're not broken." 203. "I'm sorry. I don't understand." 204. "Your head is running wild, again." 205. "I never stopped." 206. "Our lives enough." 207. "Nothing's as bad as it seems." 208. "I can't think of the right things to say." 209. "I never would've thought I'd be here with you." 210. "I can look into your eyes all day." 211. "Stay away from my friends." 212. "You're my favorite." 213. "You create symphonies with your hips." 214. "I don't care if you're contagious." 215. "I've got a love and I know that's it's all mine." 216. "I can't believe you've got the nerve to say you love me." 217. "I hope you're happy." 218. "Now you're nothing but a memory." 219. "You used to make me feel like I could walk on water." 220. "You're the reason." 221. "I bet I don't run through your mind." 222. "It still hurts." 223. "It's been a lonely year." 224. "Can we please start over?" 225. "I was praying that you and me might end up together." 226. "You are my heaven." 227. "If you don't love me, pretend." 228. "It's too late to cry." 229. "It's like wishing for rain when I'm standing in the desert." 230. "My only friend was the man in the moon." 231. "He came to me with the sweetest smile." 232. "Darling, I'm a mess without your love" 233. "All I need is one more goodbye kiss." 234. "You cant blame a girl for trying." 235. "I should've shut my mouth." 236. "I remember tears steaming down your face." 237. "I remember you said 'dont leave me here alone'." 238. "Don't you dare look out your window." 239. "Even when the music's gone." 240. "No one can hurt you now." 241. "Is this what it's like to match wits with someone that's you level with?" 242. "May you always be satisfied." 243. "The conversation lasted two minutes, maybe three." 244. "I remember that night." 245. "When you said 'hi' I forgot my dang name." 246. "I'm sure I don't know what you mean." 247. "There's a million things I haven't done." 248. "Her eyes are just helpless." 249. "Where are you taking me." 250. "That doesn't mean I want him any less." 251. "I got her number!" 252. "You've got no choice." 253. "I know that you think I'm so insane." 254. "I just love the way you say my name." 256. "Over and over, your words keep me going." 257. "I just get so insecure." 258. "Honestly, I've never been so sure." 259. "I can love you all at once." 260. "Cross my heart and swear that it's true." 261. "Boy, you know you're always on my mind." 262. "All my friends, they hear about you all the time." 263. "I know I talk a bit too loud." 264. "Make up your fucking mind." 265. "Never forget it." 266. "Now you're gonna say 'pretty please forgive me'?" 267. "Turns out no one can replace me." 268. "I'll leave you with a memory." 269. "You'll regret it." 270. "Y'know, it gets worse." 271. "One more kiss." 272. "I love it when you just don't care." 273. "I love it when you dance like there's nobody there." 274. "I love it when you don't take no." 275. "I love it when you do what you want just because you said so." 276. "Hearts are gonna break." 277. "We don't have to be ordinary." 278. "Please have mercy on me." 279. "I fall when I'm around you." 280. "I can't take it anymore." 281. "Take it easy on my heart." 282. "Tell me that I'm not crazy." 283. "Your words cut deeper than a knife." 284. "You lured me in." 285. "I won't lie to you." 286. "I know I can treat you better." 287. "You should be with me." 288. "I'd stop time for you." 289. "They say we're too young." 290. "If you don't swim, you'll drown." 291. "I got your name tattooed in an arrow heart!" 292. "If I showed up with a plane ticket and a shiny diamond ring with your name on it, would you wanna run away too?" 293. "I hope you feel the same way." 294. "I'm a realist and an optimist." 295. "Hello, sunshine." 296. "You look so graceful." 297. "Well, I've got a lot to talk about if you still want to listen or if you even care." 298. "Can we locate where we went wrong?" 299. "If loves a fight, then I shall die with my heart on the trigger." 300. "Baby, you are all that I adore." 301. "Don't you know you're everything I have?" 302. "They still say I'm a dreamer." 303. "You better know what you're fighting for." 304. "I was doing just fine before I met you." 305. "Tell your friends it was nice to meet them." 306. "Baby, pull me closer." 307. "Pull the sheets right off the corner." 308. "You look as good as the day I met you." 309. "I forget just why I left you." 310. "Four years, no call." 312. "Play that Blink-182 song!" 313. "It's gonna look like mud!" 314. "I'm gonna help you swim." 315. "It's no big surprise you turned out this way." 316. "Hey man, I love you but no fucking way." 317. "Just try your best." 318. "It just takes some time." 319. "Everything will be just fine." 320. "Just be yourself." 321. "We haven't talked since we left, it's so overdue." 322. "My heart's beating fast right now." 323. "Thought that we were stronger." 324. "I hate this part right here." 325. "Gotta talk to you before we go to sleep." 326. "I wanna be in the room where it happens." 327. "Like I said, you're free to go." 328. "Look around at how lucky we are to be alive right now." 329. "I'm a trust fund, baby, you can trust me." 330. "Some say I'm intense or I'm insane." 331. "Let's have another round tonight!" 332. "I don't know just where I fit in." 333. "Let's get back to the basics." 334. "I was falling in love." 335. "You don't come around here anymore." 336. "When I put on my jeans jacket, I still think about you." 337. "We were on top of the world." 338. "I'm not missing you anymore." 339. "You can keep that sweater." 340. "Finally feels like I'm livin' more than ever." 341. "You know I'm only getting better, right?" 342. "No bad blood between us?" 343. "I want you back." 344. "One glance is all it took." 345. "Baby, give me one more chance." 346. "Won't you please let me back in your heart." 347. "Oh darling, I was blind." 348. "Trying to live without you, love, is one more sleepless night." 349. "Please allow me to be your anti-depressant." 350. "Tonight, we'll both go M.I.A." 351. "Waking up to kiss you." 352. "If the whole world was watching, I'd still dance with you." 353. "The only truth, everything comes back to you." 354. "It's so hard." 355. "I'm just gonna say, you'll never see me in the kitchen." 356. "I just have trust issues." 357. "No, you can not change me." 358. "Baby, I'm working." 359. "Brace yourself. It's not good." 360. "I don't know what to do." 361. "I cried when I got that phone call." 362. "This has got to be the hardest thing I think I'll ever have to do." 363. "I'm not ready for a kid!" 364. "She's mine." 364. "We keep loving anyway." 365. "I'm willing to wait for it." 366. "You found me!" 367. "My love is a breath taker." 368. "Hope you remember me." 369. "Look at the stars!" 370. "Take those skin and bones and turn it into something beautiful."

[youmakemebacon]

Prompt Request List

Hello everybody! As writers, there are moments when we get stuck and have no idea what to do. So in order to help the creative juices to start flowing again (and to create material that you will enjoy) welcome to our prompt list! All works will be tagged with youmakemedrabbles or see our masterlist.

Some things to note:

1. How do you request? Simply drop a message in our ask box!

2. We are only going to write memberxreader.

3. Any genre is fine with us! Even better, if you’ve got an idea for a specific AU, please send it to us as well!

4. Each and every single one of them will be completed. We are going to try out very best. 

5. To encourage variety, prompts that have been used will be crossed out! (If you really desperately are compelled to request a prompt that has been used, send us a message anyways. We won’t reject it!)

6. This list is not exhaustive. Man, if you even have a prompt you’d just like to see written, send that to us too!

7. Have fun! :)

Prompt List:

1. “Don’t you say that… not you”

2. “I know it’s 3 in the morning, but I can’t find my cat”

3. “I’m not here to make friends.”

4. “I’d kill for a coffee…literally.”

5. “If you walk out that door… don’t you ever come back” 

6. “Don’t you die on me”

7.  “You’re Satan.”

8. “I can’t keep fighting like this”

9. “I need you”

10. “No. Regrets.”

11. “Will you just shut up for a minute and let me think?!” 

12. “You work for me. You are my slave.”

13. “If you can’t sleep…we could have sex?”

14. “Please…stay…”

15. “I don’t want to hurt you”

16. “Just shut up and kiss me”

17. “Ignore me, I didn’t see anything”

18. “Oh honey, I’d never be jealous of you.”

19. “Why can’t you realize that I’m falling for you? No wait, I’ve already fallen. But you didn’t catch me.”

20. “I’ll protect you no matter what… even if it kills me”

21. “You knocked on my door at 1 in the morning, to cuddle?”

22. “I’m way out of your league.”

23. “Love is stupid”

24. “I trusted you”

25. “Is there a reason you’re naked in my bed?”

26.  “Let’s play a game. With no rules!”

27. “I think I’m in love with you, and I’m terrified”

28. “I thought you loved me”

29. “I swear to god if you don’t stop I will shove this pencil up your ass”

30. *downing a drink* “That wasn’t water was it?”

31. “You’re alive?!”

32. “Don’t you try and pin this on me!” 

33. “Why are you like this?”

34. “If you really love me, you’ll let me go” 

35. “Why are you looking at me like that”

36. “Please be quiet, I can’t even hear myself losing the will to live.”

37. “Take another step, and I can’t be held responsible for my actions.”

38. “Oh well good for you” 

39. “I’m not gonna keep having this conversation” 

40. “I could hold you forever”

41. “Every time I see you, I fall in love with you all over again”

42. “It’s best to not mention what happened last summer.”

43. “Squeeze my hand if you can hear me” 

44. “Don’t hurt him.”

45. “You’re hurting me.”

46. “I’m in love…shit”

47. “Go on, I dare you”

48. “Marry fucking me.”

49. “I was in love with you…once.”

50. “Would you stop coming in through the windows? It scares the hell out of me every time!”

51. “There was a time before all this.”

52. “I don’t want to be alone right now.”

53. “You are my best friend in the whole world, okay?”

54. “Don’t start fearing death, it doesn’t end well.”

55. “I didn’t mean what I said.”

56. “I’m too sober for this.”

57. “You can’t banish me! This is my bed too!”

58. “One more chapter.”

59. “You’re breaking my heart, babe.”

60. “I don’t know why I married you.”

61. “But, I said I love you.”

62. “Why’s there a pregnancy test in the trash?”

63. “I warned you. He warned you. Your freaking mom warned you.”

64. “I’m not jealous.”

65. “I may be an idiot, but I’m your idiot.”

66. “I have fans. More fans than you to be exact.”

67. “Did you enjoy yourself last night?”

68. “…or we can chill in our underwear.”

69. “My horoscope says no.”

70. “Shut up, okay? I’m getting you out of here. We’re going home.”

70. “I love you, but that doesn’t matter anymore.”

71. “This isn’t exactly the best place for a makeout session, but I’m open to anything.”

72. “Do you know how hard I’m trying not to kiss you right now?”

73. “And that’s how you ruin a life. Congratulations.”

74. “I don’t want to have a baby.”

75.  “For some reason I’m attracted to you.” 

76. “I think I picked up your coffee by mistake.”

77.  “I wish I could hate you.” 

78. “This is by far the stupidest plan you’ve ever had. Of course I’m in.” 

79. “I’m not surprised that you murdered him.” 

80. “Is there a special reason, as to why you’re wearing my shirt?” 

80. “Let’s attend a wedding. Together.”

81. “See see no touch.”

82. “Five thousand dollars?!”

83. “I’m human too.”

84. “That cashier is you.”

85. “Sometimes I forget we’re married and not just best friends.”

86. “I hate you so that I can’t love you.”

87. “Let’s play a game. You’re a spy. I’m the ninja.”

88. “Stop, girl/boy in the name of love!”

89. “Hold my hands so he/she can get jealous!”

90. “10 bucks. That’s how much you’ll get being my date.”

90. “I’m pregnant.” Optional add on: “But I don’t love you.”

91. “Make your own.”

92. “Our faces are intertwined. Wait, I mean our fates. Damn autocorrect.”

93. “I appreciate you. Really!”

94. “Shut up! I am a delight!”

95. “The world ended on a Tuesday.”

96. “That’s my writing. And there’s blood.”

97. “Sometimes I just pray for a gun.”

98. “Where did you find that?”

99. “I don’t like it when you cry.”

100. “This may or may not be the first time.”

[pickle-inspector]

100 questions: 1-100. (Or 33 and 59)

WELL DANG SCREW IT I FEEL LIKE OVERSHARING I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE OVERSHARING *CACKLES*

If anyone else wants to reblog the post, it was 100 Questions Also This Is A Link

Have a read more. Warning: So many questions about kissing. SO many. I got progressively more frustrated and I hope you can tell.

1: is there a boy/girl in your life?There are lots of people in my life. Also, no.2: think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them?Mmmmmm, nope. I don’t know what you would count as “hurting me”?3: what do you think of when you hear the word “meow?”...cats. What the heck.4: what’s something you really want right now?Cheesy corn, but Critical Role is on and that requires cooking5: are you afraid of falling in love?I’m not sure it’s possible for me, but I don’t think so?6: do you like the beach?Yeah, sun and sand and water is great.7: have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?See, the couch at my parents’ house has the pull-out footrest things, and Sundays are made for napping. So yes, technically, I have fallen asleep on the same couch as someone else. 8: what’s the background on your cell?Percival Fredrickstein Von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III9: name the last four beds you were sat on?My dog sat on me while I was at home last, otherwise I couldn’t say.10: do you like your phone?I’m super mad that I cracked the glass on the back, but otherwise yes.11: honestly, are things going the way you planned?No, but my plans were sort of nebulous and vague anyway12: who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts?A coworker13: would you rather have a poodle or a rottweiler?DOG.14: which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?I...don’t know? Maybe emotional because that doesn’t heal as quickly usually?15: would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?Depends on the zoo and museum. 16: are you tired?Always.17: how long have you known your 1st phone contact?First? Like, first added to my phone? Probably my mom? So my whole life?18: are they a relative?Assuming my guess was right, then yes. 19: would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes?He’s married; no thanks. 20: when did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with?Baccalaureate, so....three years ago?21: if you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?Sure.22: would you kiss the last person you kissed again?No. Again, married. 23: how many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?None, just a watch.24: is there a certain quote you live by?”Life needs things to live.”25: what’s on your mind?Critical Role.26: do you have any tattoos?No.27: what is your favorite color?Black.28: next time you will kiss someone on the lips?Heck if I know. I don’t even know if I’m gonna kiss anyone ever again? (Also, kissing is gross leave me alone.)29: who are you texting?Nobody is texting me right now, though I should respond to one my mom sent about an hour ago.30: think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch?Why are there so many kissing questions and no.31: have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?Yupp. I’m good at that. 32: do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?Yes.33: do you think anyone has feelings for you?No.34: has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?No. Yes. Wait. I don’t remember. 35: say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you?Seriously. What is with this quiz and kissing? Also, I don’t like when people kiss in front of me.36: were you single on valentines day?Yes.37: are you friends with the last person you kissed? Do you like dogs?Yes, dogs are great. They’re my favorite. Thanks for asking.38: what do your friends call you?Yurii, Yoyo, and Pickle. 39: has anyone upset you in the last week?I dislike most of my coworkers, but I want to punch the General Manager so badly.40: have you ever cried over a text?Over a Tumblr IM, yes.41: where’s your last bruise located?Haven’t got any right now.42: what is it from?See previous question. 43: last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?Every time I’m at work.44: who was the last person you were on the phone with?My dad. Unless you count at work, then some random lady who was making stuff up to get mad at me.45: do you have a favourite pair of shoes?I like my converse. 46: do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?Depends on where I’m doing that day. if it’s work, then screw it, who cares.47: would you ever go bald if it was the style?No.48: do you make supper for your family?I don’t make supper for myself.49: does your bedroom have a door?Yes.50: top 3 web-pages?Tumblr. I don’t actually use other websites.51: do you know anyone who hates shopping?Me. My mom. My sister.52: does anything on your body hurt?Not in particular right now.53: are goodbyes hard for you?Nah.54: what was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?Dr. Pepper.55: how is your hair?In existence. Too long.56: what do you usually do first in the morning?I hit snooze seven times or more.57: do you think two people can last forever?If they are committed to each other, then yes, definitely.58: think back to january 2007, were you single?Oh shoot, that might have been the one January that I wasn’t single? Wow. Good guess.59: green or purple grapes?Green.60: when’s the next time you will give someone a big hug?*shrug* I don’t generally initiate hugs, so I never know.61: do you wish you were somewhere else right now?I’m not at work, so no, I’m good.62: when will be the next time you text someone?The next time someone texts me or I have something I need to say or ask. I’m not psychic. I cannot see the future. Stop asking these questions?63: where will you be 5 hours from now?Sleeping, with any luck.64: what were you doing at 8 this morning.Sleeping.65: this time last year, can you remember who you liked?Yes.66: is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?Sure.67: did you kiss or hug anyone today?Heck no.68: what was your last thought before you went to bed last night?Man, I was working on the OC/universe stuff. It’s what I do while I’m falling asleep.69: have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?Probably.70: how many windows are open on your computer?Five.71: how many fingers do you have?Ten?72: what is your ringtone?Red/Blue title screen song73: how old will you be in 5 months?2674: where is your mum right now?Home.75: why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love?I don’t think I’ve ever been in love.76: have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?Heck no.77: are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago?Technically, perhaps.78: do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7?Yeah, sure.79: is there anyone you know with the name mike?I have a cousin who went by Mike(y) until he got too old and mature for that.80: have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?Not since I was a baby.81: how many people have you liked in the past three months?There were a couple of coworkers I didn’t hate, so I guess I technically--Oh, you mean crushes. No.82: has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days?No.83: will you talk to the person you like tonight?No.84: you’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?First, I don’t drink. Second, guys/girls are not hot. Third, I don’t have IRL friends.85: if your bf/gf was into drugs would you care?Yes, I would. Drugs are expensive and stuff.86: what was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie?I watched a movie.87: who was your last received call from?My Dad.88: if someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you?Who the heck is offering me that much money to burn a butterfly.89: what is something you wish you had more of?Money. Free time. Mostly free time, though more money could mean I have more free time.90: have you ever trusted someone too much?Sure?91: do you sleep with your window open?No.92: do you get along with girls?Sure?93: are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?No.94: does sex mean love?I’m not interested in sex, so sex means bupkis to me.95: you’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?Yes, I’m locked in a room. Why am I locked in a room.96: have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring? How about cats? Sure! Not my favorite, but they’re nice.97: did you sleep alone this week?NO, I HAVE LIKE TEN STUFFED ANIMALS I SHARE THE BED WITH.98: everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you?I have some people I don’t hate, so sure.99: do you believe in love at first sight?No.100: who was the last person that you pinky promise?Heck if I know.

[cheri-translates]

[CN] 100 Days - Lucien (Day 51 - 100)

🍒 Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers for e-mails which have not been released in English servers! 🍒

What’s the 100 Days Companionship Event?

Day 1 - 3: here

Day 4 - 30: here

Day 31 - 50: here

Day 51

I saw the new bracelet you bought, and wonder if I have the fortune to select a matching necklace for you?

Day 52

Since a certain student seems to have high praise for the dried fruits in the research centre, I’ve prepared some. Could I pair them with the white tea from last time?

Day 53

Your record book ended up with me. I accidentally saw quite a number of bold and imaginative questions. Next time, why don’t you ask me directly?

Day 54

It was a little cold last night, but it felt warmer when I saw the light from the house. Looks like temperature is even more subjective than I imagined.

Day 55

I’ve watched that trending video clip you mentioned. It isn’t an alien life form.  It’s just a deep sea creature which has a more ‘casual’ appearance.

Day 56

A new dessert has been released by that dessert shop you often visit. Want me to buy some on my way home tonight?

Day 57

The new intern is rash and quick-tempered. I miss the times when you, the “class prefect”, helped out.

Day 58

I’ve hooked the little felt fox you made with my keys. Each time I look at it, my mood becomes better.

Day 59

One small flower along the roadside is still blooming tenaciously. I wonder if I’ll still see it again the next time I walk by.

Day 60

A curious white kitten sneaked into the laboratory, and left an “already read” paw mark on my experiment report.

Day 61

I heard that during this season, there wouldn’t be many people at the amusement park. We can take a non-cursory visit to it once.

Day 62

The weather has become slightly cooler, and it’s suitable for wearing that overcoat you picked with me the last time.

Day 63

Seeing your cotton slipper and fluffy cartoon pyjamas, I sense that this winter wouldn’t be cold.

Day 64

I came across a fairy tale. There’s a black goat in the story, and it has a pair of beautiful horns… Do you still want to hear the rest?

Day 65

I seem to have improved in my origami skills, and it seems I can now fold more vivid little creatures now.

Day 66

Why do you need to perplex yourself over having a low laughing point? It shows that you can produce the dopamine to be happy over any trivial matter.

Day 67

When I passed by the park, I discovered that the Rosa chinensis we once saw together have turned into colourful chrysanthemums. Time seems to go by exceptionally quickly when signing in with you.

Day 68 (Halloween)

Title: Mysterious story exhibition

I heard there’s a mysterious Halloween story exhibition today. I wonder if a certain little friend who’s filled with curiosity is interested in going tonight?

Day 69

I’ve spent this October very happily. A large part of the reason is because you’re sharing it with me.

Day 70

I chanced on the postcard you sent me before. The handwriting is very cute, and the contents on it are even cuter.

Day 71

There’s a picture stuffed in the crack of the door. Is that bespectacled person conducting experiments me? He looks very engrossed.

Day 72

I haven’t thought of the answer to the riddle you came up with yesterday. Looks like I’ll have to learn from you this time.

Day 73

You mentioned wanting to learn how to make dimsum using yam paste, but couldn’t find the chance to do so. Do you have time today? We can give it a try together.

Day 74

The mornings of this season are especially moving. It’s just that little lazy bugs like you are likely too cold to get out of bed.

Day 75

The coffee you gave me the last time has a very nice taste. I tried preparing it once, but it didn’t have the same taste. Could you tell me your secret?

Day 76

I had a strange dream, and it seems to be indicating something. I’ll tell you about it another day.

Day 77

The weather forecasts says that it might rain today. Remember to bring an umbrella when you head out, just in case.

Day 78

If nobody does things that may not reap results, this world would likely lose some degrees of fun. Don’t you agree?

Day 79 (Single’s Day)

Received your final wishlist for 2020. It so happens that fulfilling each one of them will require an entire winter.

Day 80

You’re asking me if I’ve ever thought of travelling through time? I have. Each time we part ways, I want to travel to the time when we’d meet again.

Day 81

I’ve bought the material you wanted. Is our agreement from last week to have autumn afternoon tea still valid?

Day 82

You seem very busy recently, and I haven’t seen you appearing at the last row of the classroom. Is my “Class President” free to sign the attendance tomorrow?

Day 83

I like every birthday present you give me each year. Of course, my favourite gift is the one I can see at first glance - you.

Day 84 (Lucien’s birthday)

Having gone through yesterday’s “unhappiness”, I’ve prepared double the amount of “happiness” today. Could I share it with you?

Day 85

The place I’ve gone to attend the meeting at is the northern city you mentioned in Moments last year. Perhaps I could follow your footsteps and check in.

Day 86

When I woke up this morning, I realised that it has already started snowing in the city. I won’t enjoy the first snow on my own, which is why I’m sharing it with you immediately.

Day 87

I realised that you changed to bluetooth earpieces. In that case, will the distance between us be as close as when we listen to songs together using a wired earpiece?

Day 88

The rainbows seen in winter are even gentler than the ones in summer.

Day 89

Lately, I’ve been having some trouble sleeping too. This time, it might be your turn to be my little sleep assistant.

Day 90

Thank you for the gloves you gave me. They’re very soft and warm.

Day 91

I enjoy this feeling very much - eating a bowl of piping hot noodles in a warm, small store with you during cold weather.

Day 92

When I was tidying the bookshelf, a card fell out of one of the books you once borrowed. Do you still remember what you wrote on it?

Day 93

Without realising it, the agreed-to conclusion of the signing in is about to arrive. For some reason, I don’t really want it to end.

Day 94

Something to be grateful for is every day that I get to keep you company.

Day 95

A few petals from that pot of flowers you’re tending to fell onto my window sill. I’ve made them into two dried flower bookmarks.

Day 96

Saw a pair of earmuffs which suit you. This way, your ears wouldn’t always be red from the cold.

Day 97

Sorry, I’ve been tidying up data in the laboratory today, and just saw your message. I wonder if it’s too late to agree to your dinner invitation?

Day 98

You don’t always have to meet my expectations, because you often surpass my expectations.

Day 99

The movie salon you mentioned sounds really interesting. If I’m participating in it with you, I'm definitely very willing to go.

[Note] The word ‘salon’ here refers to a social gathering!

Day 100

To me, a hundred days is too short. Even without such an event, my company will definitely not stop at just a hundred days.

[truereviewpage]

How To Make Inexpensive Curtains Look A Lot More Polished & Our New Master Bed!

You haven’t seen our master bedroom in a while (except for small peeks on Instagram) because we owe you a certain curtain-related confession. But first, I get so many questions about our new bed – and why we upgraded from our old Ikea one – that I thought it was time to formally introduce you to this beauty that we got nearly a year ago. Yes, as in last November.

 bed / nightstand / bench / similar art / similar rug / duvet / chandelier / faux plant

Why a new bed? Well, at first glance, our new bed isn’t wildly different from what was there before (which you last saw last May when we blogged about getting the new consignment store rug). Both headboards are a light wheat-colored linen, and they work well in the peaceful low-contrast bedroom we’ve been working towards lately. But the key difference is that this a legit bed – as in, headboard and side/footboards – all upholstered in the same fabric. Previously it was one of those metal frame situations plus a headboard we made ourselves.

And actually, at one point we did have that same headboard attached to a different bed entirely: the Ikea Edland canopy bed that we chopped the posts off of years ago (who remembers Ed the Bed?). But we swapped beds with our guest room at some point when we were over the floating-up-on-legs look for our bedroom (a regular bed frame + bedskirt gave us a more grounded and substantial look). We also found ourselves yearning for a proper boxspring situation for our mattress, which just sat directly on old Ed’s slats.

Our free took-twenty-minutes bed swap was definitely a step in the right direction, but we knew an upholstered bed would look more finished than the bedskirt + metal frame scenario. We actually don’t mind a bedskirt (2 of 3 beds in the beach house have them), but it always bugged me that it would never be the exact same white color as the duvet in here – and since it’s a much bigger room than the beach house bedrooms, you view it from a lot further away and notice that fact a lot more.

So long story long (have you met me?! no story is short), after five years of bed swapping and adding a skirt and reupholstering the headboard, we just went for it and ordered a fully upholstered bed. Not without twenty hours of research and hemming and hawing though (again, have you met me?!).

similar lamps / nightstand / bench / similar art / chandelier / curtain rod

The best thing about buying a new bed for our master bedroom was that it meant we could steal the headboard from our room and reunite it with Ed the Bed and bring them both to the empty beach house last fall, and put them in the middle bedroom. So essentially instead of buying a new bed for the beach house – we got to buy the bed we always wanted FOR OUR MASTER BEDROOM INSTEAD, and use ol’ faithful Ed + our homemade headboard at the beach house, where they totally fit the bill.

similar mobile / gold frames / similar headboard / lamps / pink art / square blanket

So even though he’s seen a few incarnations and lived in three different houses, Ed’s been with us for nearly 8 years (and the headboard has lived on for more than 6). Pretty soon they’ll be welcomed into the 10-year club! (If you haven’t read that post about the items in our home we’ve had for ten years and still love, it’s one of my favorites.) 

But back to our new (*cough… year old… cough*) bed. This post is probably making her feel very unloved so far, since we haven’t even blogged about the upgrade, but that’s far from the truth.

I LOVE THIS BED SO MUCH I AM TEMPTED TO BUY IT AGAIN FOR THE BEACH HOUSE MASTER BEDROOM (and just use that headboard/frame combo in the duplex somewhere). It’s such a nice feeling to have an actual bed after a series of metal frames and headboards attached to the wall or the bed in various ways. It kind of feels like adulting, but not quite as annoying as cleaning the house or buying band-aids every week (am I the only household that goes through approximately 1,000 every three days?! Are the kids eating them?!).

Anyway, my bed BFF is called the Sanford Linen Upholstered Panel Bed and we got it from Wayfair last November. It comes in all of the standard sizes (twin up to california king) and in two colors (the “Talc” color is what we got – and there’s a “Kelly Green” that’s definitely more of a statement). At the moment it’s 30% off, putting a queen bed at $628, and one of the reasons I went for it is because a ton of clean-lined and classic upholstered beds that look like this this are in the $1,000-$2,000 range (like this one and this one), so I love that this is a great neutral color and a timeless shape that looks more expensive than it is.

It doesn’t look NEARLY as dark or gray as it does in the listing photos (which was a pleasant surprise for us – because it really does mean it would work anywhere). I’d call it a warm linen color, that’s just barely on the warmer side of the gray-beige line, but it could completely live in a room with gray or tan walls, which I love. Given our history of moving beds around, the more places a bed can work, the better. And it has a really nice linen-looking texture that makes it a bit more interesting in person than you can probably tell in the website photos:

We also liked that it has these small vertical panels flanking each side of the headboard. The “wings” give it an extra little detail and coziness that our flat DIYed headboard didn’t have (although you could definitely make this version yourself – just upholster the side pieces and attach them in the back with some sort of flat metal bracket).

This bed still requires a boxspring, which we like (feels more like a real adult bed that way, and it’s better for our mattress, we hear) and I’ll warn you that if your mattress isn’t as thick as ours (ours is 12″) there might be a small gap between the top of the mattress and bottom of the headboard… so you might want to add a mattress pad or just place your pillows along the back of the bed in a way that you can’t see that area (sleeping pillows + a few decorative ones could totally cover it).

similar lamp / nightstand / similar art / curtain rod / duvet

I actually realized that there’s a reason for that space, which is: so you can change the sheets more easily. If the headboard squished up against the top of the mattress much tighter, you wouldn’t really be able to change the fitted sheets without a ton of effort – so I actually appreciate that detail.

Also a few people have asked “wait, are the black feet of your bed ugly?” and I didn’t even know what they meant and had to run upstairs and look at them in person, but I guess in the online photos where it’s cut out and placed on a white background they’re really clunky and obvious, but the bed’s feet are set in a bit from the upholstered frame, so they’re basically in the bed’s shadow if that makes sense. I literally never notice them or “register” that there are those little black feet in real life because the upholstered part is pulled forward, so that’s really all you see.

Ok, now that I’ve told you everything you could possibly wonder about our bed…. let’s turn our attention to curtains. BECAUSE CURTAINS ARE HARD. Our old curtains in here had been some wheat-colored cheapies I grabbed at HomeGoods years ago, but after we installed white curtains throughout the entire beach house, I developed what can only be described as an animalistic craving for white curtains in here again.

similar dresser / gold frames / bench / similar rug / similar chair

So much of the room had been beige-ish, that I just thought crisp white curtains would freshen things up and not make the whole space feel like we had a sepia filter on it. So I craigslisted the tan curtains, and on a trip to Ikea sometime last winter we loaded up on three sets of our favorite affordable white curtains (Ikea’s Lenda curtains) for the bedroom. But the reason you haven’t seen an “our bedroom got two updates!” post about this room is because is has taken me nearly a year to finish fixing the curtains (thereby completing this update) so they no longer look like this:

Yup, we lived with them like this for nearly 12 months, and I gotta say, I’m not even ashamed of it. Life is busy, (see: adulting) and curtains can be high maintenance, so they might just end up at the bottom of the list. And this sloppiness underscores the dilemma of Ikea curtains. We LOVE them for their nice heavy white fabric and their affordable price: just $25 for two 98″ tall curtains (which means they’re long enough to go from floor-to-ceiling in a standard eight foot room). And if you have extra tall rooms you can also get two of their 108″ length for $35.

And now for a curtain-related side rant: don’t buy too-short curtains at Target! I don’t even know why anyone makes 86″ curtains because it’s SO MEAN and they’re never tall enough to make a room look as good as it could with 95″ (or taller) curtains!

Unlike Ikea’s cheaper Vivan curtains, the Lenda ones have a decent weight to them – in fact they look extremely similar to curtains sold by West Elm and Pottery Barn but they’re a heckova lot more budget-friendly. But let me tell you… Ikea’s photos of these curtains are so not-selling that when people ask where we get our white curtains and we link to them, 100% of people say “that’s the wrong link” – because they’re actually sold with big tabs on the top and they have these country-looking tiebacks, and they essentially look nothing like this:

They look like this:

I know.

This doesn’t look like the same set of curtains. But it is.

And these are the exact same Lenda curtain panels too. We’ve probably had them in our office for the longest amount of time (four years or so) and they look great. We got two sets for each side of that large window so they’d look extra full – and our entire curtain cost was $50.

woven blinds (pecan color) / desk chair / desk / bench / rug / similar faux plant

But… if you’re someone who just wants curtains that you can throw up on a rod and have them look awesome, these aren’t them. Getting them to look presentable can take a significant amount of effort in our experience, but after it’s all said and done, they can look pretty darn decent. Plus they’re washable (which is a great thing in a house with kids and a dog – or a rental house like our beach houses) and they’re not so expensive that they’re precious – so you can relax and not freak out if kids twirl around in them or hides back there, which is a daily occurrence in our house.

So what are the things we do to turn these formerly-tab-topped curtains into what you see in the photo above? I thought you’d never ask. Here’s my process:

Step 1: Wash them on hot and dry them on high to pre-shrink them (they’ll shrink a ton – maybe 5″, but in a standard height room that’s just fine – and you NEED to preshrink curtains before you hang them. Otherwise if they get dirty later and you launder them, they’ll look like bad highwaters when you hand them back up.

Step 2: Use a sharp pair of scissors to cut off the tabs right above the sewed line where they’re attached along the top edge.

Step 3: Fold the top edge over once to hide where you cut the tabs, making sure the fold goes toward the back of the curtain (facing the window). Once it’s all clipped that fold looks just like a sewed top seam and has a nice finished look.

Step 4: Clip your rings on along the fold. We use 6 ring clips per panel: one on each end and then one on every other vertical seam, which you can see above. Your spacing my be different if you’re using different curtains, but ours are about 10″ apart.

Step 5: Slide two pre-washed & clipped panels onto your curtain rod, and hold it up to determine the best height to install it. Remember to go high and wide around your window, but not so high that the curtains don’t touch the floor, and not so wide that they look flat (volume from the curtains draping is really pretty). We typically go around 8″ beyond the window trim on the sides, and like to hang the rod a few inches below the ceiling, but use the length of your panels to determine the best height.

This was a far as I made it with these new curtains for basically a year, so if yours look something like the messy picture below – don’t worry. We’ve all been there. Well, at least I have. Many times. And I’ve lived to tell the tale. In fact it wasn’t until last week that we finally carried out the final two steps.

Step 6: Iron or steam your curtains. We steamed the curtains at the beach house while they hung in place – but we found that we got the best result with two people doing that (one to hold the curtain taut, the other to steam – this is our steamer, btw). So to get the smoothest result at home with just one person on curtain duty, we took them down and ironed them. I knocked out four of them before bed one night last week, and John did the other two the following evening (which explains why the hairy arm in this picture is his and not mine).

Step 7: Once the curtains are pre-shrunk and fully relaxed, it’s safe to hem them if you need to. Sometimes you get lucky and they shrink enough so that you can hang them high without needing any hemming – but a little is usually necessary for us. I like to use no-sew hem tape, but I tried a new cheater-way to hem these and it worked, so I’m sharing it. NO HEM TAPE OR SEWING REQUIRED!!!

I just unclipped them one clip at a time while standing on a chair and folded them over until I liked the way they hit the floor below (just the slightest little break – like they’re kissing the floor) and reclipped them to hold them that way. The fold of fabric is in the back of the curtain, facing the window, so you don’t see it from the front – it actually just looks like a nice thick top hem when the light shines through.

You can’t really tell that I took a short cut, and it means if they ever shrink in a future washing (or we decide we want more or less fabric touching the floor) we can just adjust them just by unclipping them and changing the fold. Genius? Probably not. Lazy? Most definitely!

Are they the most luxe high-end curtains out there? Nope. Do we think they look nice, hold up well, and add softness & height to a room? Yup. Did we do the entire bedroom for $75? Yup. And that’s less than the cost of one of these stock white 95″ curtain panels (and we got 6 panels!). Getting custom curtains can also be significantly more expensive – and it can make them feel extra precious. They’re also not usually washable which is a huge selling point for me when it comes to these.

Maybe someday we’ll feel fancy enough to splurge on custom curtains. Using them in some of our showhouse projects means we’ve experienced the difference firsthand (really, they look amazing and perfectly graze the floor and don’t even need to be steamed – they arrive totally ready to hang). So this isn’t an anti-custom curtain rant or anything – we just know lots of people who can’t swallow that custom curtain price tag right now, and might want something that feels easier to live with/wash for this season of life. So hopefully this elbow-grease-but-affordable method can help you get SOME sort of window treatments in your house. And you know I won’t judge you if it takes a year to get them finished.

Also, dogs don’t have to adult. I wanna be Burger.

Believe it or not, this isn’t the first time we’ve had white Lenda curtains in this room (but they got stolen for the office at one point). So here’s that story, and more curtain projects/tips from over the years:

Using Iron-Tape To Hem Lenda Curtains

How To Make No-Sew Curtains From Any Fabric

15 Minute Blackout Curtains for $15

18 Tips For Picking The Right Curtains

Psst- Wanna know the paint colors in this room, or any other room in our house? Click here for a whole-house rundown. And if you want to get our free email newsletter (it’s like a bonus post that comes right to your inbox each week) click here to get on the list. 

*This post contains affiliate links*

The post How To Make Inexpensive Curtains Look A Lot More Polished & Our New Master Bed! appeared first on Young House Love.

How To Make Inexpensive Curtains Look A Lot More Polished & Our New Master Bed! published first on https://aireloomreview.tumblr.com/

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How To Make Inexpensive Curtains Look A Lot More Polished & Our New Master Bed!

You haven’t seen our master bedroom in a while (except for small peeks on Instagram) because we owe you a certain curtain-related confession. But first, I get so many questions about our new bed – and why we upgraded from our old Ikea one – that I thought it was time to formally introduce you to this beauty that we got nearly a year ago. Yes, as in last November.

 bed / nightstand / bench / similar art / similar rug / duvet / chandelier / faux plant

Why a new bed? Well, at first glance, our new bed isn’t wildly different from what was there before (which you last saw last May when we blogged about getting the new consignment store rug). Both headboards are a light wheat-colored linen, and they work well in the peaceful low-contrast bedroom we’ve been working towards lately. But the key difference is that this a legit bed – as in, headboard and side/footboards – all upholstered in the same fabric. Previously it was one of those metal frame situations plus a headboard we made ourselves.

And actually, at one point we did have that same headboard attached to a different bed entirely: the Ikea Edland canopy bed that we chopped the posts off of years ago (who remembers Ed the Bed?). But we swapped beds with our guest room at some point when we were over the floating-up-on-legs look for our bedroom (a regular bed frame + bedskirt gave us a more grounded and substantial look). We also found ourselves yearning for a proper boxspring situation for our mattress, which just sat directly on old Ed’s slats.

Our free took-twenty-minutes bed swap was definitely a step in the right direction, but we knew an upholstered bed would look more finished than the bedskirt + metal frame scenario. We actually don’t mind a bedskirt (2 of 3 beds in the beach house have them), but it always bugged me that it would never be the exact same white color as the duvet in here – and since it’s a much bigger room than the beach house bedrooms, you view it from a lot further away and notice that fact a lot more.

So long story long (have you met me?! no story is short), after five years of bed swapping and adding a skirt and reupholstering the headboard, we just went for it and ordered a fully upholstered bed. Not without twenty hours of research and hemming and hawing though (again, have you met me?!).

similar lamps / nightstand / bench / similar art / chandelier / curtain rod

The best thing about buying a new bed for our master bedroom was that it meant we could steal the headboard from our room and reunite it with Ed the Bed and bring them both to the empty beach house last fall, and put them in the middle bedroom. So essentially instead of buying a new bed for the beach house – we got to buy the bed we always wanted FOR OUR MASTER BEDROOM INSTEAD, and use ol’ faithful Ed + our homemade headboard at the beach house, where they totally fit the bill.

similar mobile / gold frames / similar headboard / lamps / pink art / square blanket

So even though he’s seen a few incarnations and lived in three different houses, Ed’s been with us for nearly 8 years (and the headboard has lived on for more than 6). Pretty soon they’ll be welcomed into the 10-year club! (If you haven’t read that post about the items in our home we’ve had for ten years and still love, it’s one of my favorites.) 

But back to our new (*cough… year old… cough*) bed. This post is probably making her feel very unloved so far, since we haven’t even blogged about the upgrade, but that’s far from the truth.

I LOVE THIS BED SO MUCH I AM TEMPTED TO BUY IT AGAIN FOR THE BEACH HOUSE MASTER BEDROOM (and just use that headboard/frame combo in the duplex somewhere). It’s such a nice feeling to have an actual bed after a series of metal frames and headboards attached to the wall or the bed in various ways. It kind of feels like adulting, but not quite as annoying as cleaning the house or buying band-aids every week (am I the only household that goes through approximately 1,000 every three days?! Are the kids eating them?!).

Anyway, my bed BFF is called the Sanford Linen Upholstered Panel Bed and we got it from Wayfair last November. It comes in all of the standard sizes (twin up to california king) and in two colors (the “Talc” color is what we got – and there’s a “Kelly Green” that’s definitely more of a statement). At the moment it’s 30% off, putting a queen bed at $628, and one of the reasons I went for it is because a ton of clean-lined and classic upholstered beds that look like this this are in the $1,000-$2,000 range (like this one and this one), so I love that this is a great neutral color and a timeless shape that looks more expensive than it is.

It doesn’t look NEARLY as dark or gray as it does in the listing photos (which was a pleasant surprise for us – because it really does mean it would work anywhere). I’d call it a warm linen color, that’s just barely on the warmer side of the gray-beige line, but it could completely live in a room with gray or tan walls, which I love. Given our history of moving beds around, the more places a bed can work, the better. And it has a really nice linen-looking texture that makes it a bit more interesting in person than you can probably tell in the website photos:

We also liked that it has these small vertical panels flanking each side of the headboard. The “wings” give it an extra little detail and coziness that our flat DIYed headboard didn’t have (although you could definitely make this version yourself – just upholster the side pieces and attach them in the back with some sort of flat metal bracket).

This bed still requires a boxspring, which we like (feels more like a real adult bed that way, and it’s better for our mattress, we hear) and I’ll warn you that if your mattress isn’t as thick as ours (ours is 12″) there might be a small gap between the top of the mattress and bottom of the headboard… so you might want to add a mattress pad or just place your pillows along the back of the bed in a way that you can’t see that area (sleeping pillows + a few decorative ones could totally cover it).

similar lamp / nightstand / similar art / curtain rod / duvet

I actually realized that there’s a reason for that space, which is: so you can change the sheets more easily. If the headboard squished up against the top of the mattress much tighter, you wouldn’t really be able to change the fitted sheets without a ton of effort – so I actually appreciate that detail.

Also a few people have asked “wait, are the black feet of your bed ugly?” and I didn’t even know what they meant and had to run upstairs and look at them in person, but I guess in the online photos where it’s cut out and placed on a white background they’re really clunky and obvious, but the bed’s feet are set in a bit from the upholstered frame, so they’re basically in the bed’s shadow if that makes sense. I literally never notice them or “register” that there are those little black feet in real life because the upholstered part is pulled forward, so that’s really all you see.

Ok, now that I’ve told you everything you could possibly wonder about our bed…. let’s turn our attention to curtains. BECAUSE CURTAINS ARE HARD. Our old curtains in here had been some wheat-colored cheapies I grabbed at HomeGoods years ago, but after we installed white curtains throughout the entire beach house, I developed what can only be described as an animalistic craving for white curtains in here again.

similar dresser / gold frames / bench / similar rug / similar chair

So much of the room had been beige-ish, that I just thought crisp white curtains would freshen things up and not make the whole space feel like we had a sepia filter on it. So I craigslisted the tan curtains, and on a trip to Ikea sometime last winter we loaded up on three sets of our favorite affordable white curtains (Ikea’s Lenda curtains) for the bedroom. But the reason you haven’t seen an “our bedroom got two updates!” post about this room is because is has taken me nearly a year to finish fixing the curtains (thereby completing this update) so they no longer look like this:

Yup, we lived with them like this for nearly 12 months, and I gotta say, I’m not even ashamed of it. Life is busy, (see: adulting) and curtains can be high maintenance, so they might just end up at the bottom of the list. And this sloppiness underscores the dilemma of Ikea curtains. We LOVE them for their nice heavy white fabric and their affordable price: just $25 for two 98″ tall curtains (which means they’re long enough to go from floor-to-ceiling in a standard eight foot room). And if you have extra tall rooms you can also get two of their 108″ length for $35.

And now for a curtain-related side rant: don’t buy too-short curtains at Target! I don’t even know why anyone makes 86″ curtains because it’s SO MEAN and they’re never tall enough to make a room look as good as it could with 95″ (or taller) curtains!

Unlike Ikea’s cheaper Vivan curtains, the Lenda ones have a decent weight to them – in fact they look extremely similar to curtains sold by West Elm and Pottery Barn but they’re a heckova lot more budget-friendly. But let me tell you… Ikea’s photos of these curtains are so not-selling that when people ask where we get our white curtains and we link to them, 100% of people say “that’s the wrong link” – because they’re actually sold with big tabs on the top and they have these country-looking tiebacks, and they essentially look nothing like this:

They look like this:

I know.

This doesn’t look like the same set of curtains. But it is.

And these are the exact same Lenda curtain panels too. We’ve probably had them in our office for the longest amount of time (four years or so) and they look great. We got two sets for each side of that large window so they’d look extra full – and our entire curtain cost was $50.

woven blinds (pecan color) / desk chair / desk / bench / rug / similar faux plant

But… if you’re someone who just wants curtains that you can throw up on a rod and have them look awesome, these aren’t them. Getting them to look presentable can take a significant amount of effort in our experience, but after it’s all said and done, they can look pretty darn decent. Plus they’re washable (which is a great thing in a house with kids and a dog – or a rental house like our beach houses) and they’re not so expensive that they’re precious – so you can relax and not freak out if kids twirl around in them or hides back there, which is a daily occurrence in our house.

So what are the things we do to turn these formerly-tab-topped curtains into what you see in the photo above? I thought you’d never ask. Here’s my process:

Step 1: Wash them on hot and dry them on high to pre-shrink them (they’ll shrink a ton – maybe 5″, but in a standard height room that’s just fine – and you NEED to preshrink curtains before you hang them. Otherwise if they get dirty later and you launder them, they’ll look like bad highwaters when you hand them back up.

Step 2: Use a sharp pair of scissors to cut off the tabs right above the sewed line where they’re attached along the top edge.

Step 3: Fold the top edge over once to hide where you cut the tabs, making sure the fold goes toward the back of the curtain (facing the window). Once it’s all clipped that fold looks just like a sewed top seam and has a nice finished look.

Step 4: Clip your rings on along the fold. We use 6 ring clips per panel: one on each end and then one on every other vertical seam, which you can see above. Your spacing my be different if you’re using different curtains, but ours are about 10″ apart.

Step 5: Slide two pre-washed & clipped panels onto your curtain rod, and hold it up to determine the best height to install it. Remember to go high and wide around your window, but not so high that the curtains don’t touch the floor, and not so wide that they look flat (volume from the curtains draping is really pretty). We typically go around 8″ beyond the window trim on the sides, and like to hang the rod a few inches below the ceiling, but use the length of your panels to determine the best height.

This was a far as I made it with these new curtains for basically a year, so if yours look something like the messy picture below – don’t worry. We’ve all been there. Well, at least I have. Many times. And I’ve lived to tell the tale. In fact it wasn’t until last week that we finally carried out the final two steps.

Step 6: Iron or steam your curtains. We steamed the curtains at the beach house while they hung in place – but we found that we got the best result with two people doing that (one to hold the curtain taut, the other to steam – this is our steamer, btw). So to get the smoothest result at home with just one person on curtain duty, we took them down and ironed them. I knocked out four of them before bed one night last week, and John did the other two the following evening (which explains why the hairy arm in this picture is his and not mine).

Step 7: Once the curtains are pre-shrunk and fully relaxed, it’s safe to hem them if you need to. Sometimes you get lucky and they shrink enough so that you can hang them high without needing any hemming – but a little is usually necessary for us. I like to use no-sew hem tape, but I tried a new cheater-way to hem these and it worked, so I’m sharing it. NO HEM TAPE OR SEWING REQUIRED!!!

I just unclipped them one clip at a time while standing on a chair and folded them over until I liked the way they hit the floor below (just the slightest little break – like they’re kissing the floor) and reclipped them to hold them that way. The fold of fabric is in the back of the curtain, facing the window, so you don’t see it from the front – it actually just looks like a nice thick top hem when the light shines through.

You can’t really tell that I took a short cut, and it means if they ever shrink in a future washing (or we decide we want more or less fabric touching the floor) we can just adjust them just by unclipping them and changing the fold. Genius? Probably not. Lazy? Most definitely!

Are they the most luxe high-end curtains out there? Nope. Do we think they look nice, hold up well, and add softness & height to a room? Yup. Did we do the entire bedroom for $75? Yup. And that’s less than the cost of one of these stock white 95″ curtain panels (and we got 6 panels!). Getting custom curtains can also be significantly more expensive – and it can make them feel extra precious. They’re also not usually washable which is a huge selling point for me when it comes to these.

Maybe someday we’ll feel fancy enough to splurge on custom curtains. Using them in some of our showhouse projects means we’ve experienced the difference firsthand (really, they look amazing and perfectly graze the floor and don’t even need to be steamed – they arrive totally ready to hang). So this isn’t an anti-custom curtain rant or anything – we just know lots of people who can’t swallow that custom curtain price tag right now, and might want something that feels easier to live with/wash for this season of life. So hopefully this elbow-grease-but-affordable method can help you get SOME sort of window treatments in your house. And you know I won’t judge you if it takes a year to get them finished.

Also, dogs don’t have to adult. I wanna be Burger.

Believe it or not, this isn’t the first time we’ve had white Lenda curtains in this room (but they got stolen for the office at one point). So here’s that story, and more curtain projects/tips from over the years:

Using Iron-Tape To Hem Lenda Curtains

How To Make No-Sew Curtains From Any Fabric

15 Minute Blackout Curtains for $15

18 Tips For Picking The Right Curtains

Psst- Wanna know the paint colors in this room, or any other room in our house? Click here for a whole-house rundown. And if you want to get our free email newsletter (it’s like a bonus post that comes right to your inbox each week) click here to get on the list. 

*This post contains affiliate links*

The post How To Make Inexpensive Curtains Look A Lot More Polished & Our New Master Bed! appeared first on Young House Love.

How To Make Inexpensive Curtains Look A Lot More Polished & Our New Master Bed! published first on https://bakerskitchenslimited.tumblr.com/

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How To Make Inexpensive Curtains Look A Lot More Polished & Our New Master Bed! https://ift.tt/2ImpjYI

You haven’t seen our master bedroom in a while (except for small peeks on Instagram) because we owe you a certain curtain-related confession. But first, I get so many questions about our new bed – and why we upgraded from our old Ikea one – that I thought it was time to formally introduce you to this beauty that we got nearly a year ago. Yes, as in last November.

 bed / nightstand / bench / similar art / similar rug / duvet / chandelier / faux plant

Why a new bed? Well, at first glance, our new bed isn’t wildly different from what was there before (which you last saw last May when we blogged about getting the new consignment store rug). Both headboards are a light wheat-colored linen, and they work well in the peaceful low-contrast bedroom we’ve been working towards lately. But the key difference is that this a legit bed – as in, headboard and side/footboards – all upholstered in the same fabric. Previously it was one of those metal frame situations plus a headboard we made ourselves.

And actually, at one point we did have that same headboard attached to a different bed entirely: the Ikea Edland canopy bed that we chopped the posts off of years ago (who remembers Ed the Bed?). But we swapped beds with our guest room at some point when we were over the floating-up-on-legs look for our bedroom (a regular bed frame + bedskirt gave us a more grounded and substantial look). We also found ourselves yearning for a proper boxspring situation for our mattress, which just sat directly on old Ed’s slats.

Our free took-twenty-minutes bed swap was definitely a step in the right direction, but we knew an upholstered bed would look more finished than the bedskirt + metal frame scenario. We actually don’t mind a bedskirt (2 of 3 beds in the beach house have them), but it always bugged me that it would never be the exact same white color as the duvet in here – and since it’s a much bigger room than the beach house bedrooms, you view it from a lot further away and notice that fact a lot more.

So long story long (have you met me?! no story is short), after five years of bed swapping and adding a skirt and reupholstering the headboard, we just went for it and ordered a fully upholstered bed. Not without twenty hours of research and hemming and hawing though (again, have you met me?!).

similar lamps / nightstand / bench / similar art / chandelier / curtain rod

The best thing about buying a new bed for our master bedroom was that it meant we could steal the headboard from our room and reunite it with Ed the Bed and bring them both to the empty beach house last fall, and put them in the middle bedroom. So essentially instead of buying a new bed for the beach house – we got to buy the bed we always wanted FOR OUR MASTER BEDROOM INSTEAD, and use ol’ faithful Ed + our homemade headboard at the beach house, where they totally fit the bill.

similar mobile / gold frames / similar headboard / lamps / pink art / square blanket

So even though he’s seen a few incarnations and lived in three different houses, Ed’s been with us for nearly 8 years (and the headboard has lived on for more than 6). Pretty soon they’ll be welcomed into the 10-year club! (If you haven’t read that post about the items in our home we’ve had for ten years and still love, it’s one of my favorites.) 

But back to our new (*cough… year old… cough*) bed. This post is probably making her feel very unloved so far, since we haven’t even blogged about the upgrade, but that’s far from the truth.

I LOVE THIS BED SO MUCH I AM TEMPTED TO BUY IT AGAIN FOR THE BEACH HOUSE MASTER BEDROOM (and just use that headboard/frame combo in the duplex somewhere). It’s such a nice feeling to have an actual bed after a series of metal frames and headboards attached to the wall or the bed in various ways. It kind of feels like adulting, but not quite as annoying as cleaning the house or buying band-aids every week (am I the only household that goes through approximately 1,000 every three days?! Are the kids eating them?!).

Anyway, my bed BFF is called the Sanford Linen Upholstered Panel Bed and we got it from Wayfair last November. It comes in all of the standard sizes (twin up to california king) and in two colors (the “Talc” color is what we got – and there’s a “Kelly Green” that’s definitely more of a statement). At the moment it’s 30% off, putting a queen bed at $628, and one of the reasons I went for it is because a ton of clean-lined and classic upholstered beds that look like this this are in the $1,000-$2,000 range (like this one and this one), so I love that this is a great neutral color and a timeless shape that looks more expensive than it is.

It doesn’t look NEARLY as dark or gray as it does in the listing photos (which was a pleasant surprise for us – because it really does mean it would work anywhere). I’d call it a warm linen color, that’s just barely on the warmer side of the gray-beige line, but it could completely live in a room with gray or tan walls, which I love. Given our history of moving beds around, the more places a bed can work, the better. And it has a really nice linen-looking texture that makes it a bit more interesting in person than you can probably tell in the website photos:

We also liked that it has these small vertical panels flanking each side of the headboard. The “wings” give it an extra little detail and coziness that our flat DIYed headboard didn’t have (although you could definitely make this version yourself – just upholster the side pieces and attach them in the back with some sort of flat metal bracket).

This bed still requires a boxspring, which we like (feels more like a real adult bed that way, and it’s better for our mattress, we hear) and I’ll warn you that if your mattress isn’t as thick as ours (ours is 12″) there might be a small gap between the top of the mattress and bottom of the headboard… so you might want to add a mattress pad or just place your pillows along the back of the bed in a way that you can’t see that area (sleeping pillows + a few decorative ones could totally cover it).

similar lamp / nightstand / similar art / curtain rod / duvet

I actually realized that there’s a reason for that space, which is: so you can change the sheets more easily. If the headboard squished up against the top of the mattress much tighter, you wouldn’t really be able to change the fitted sheets without a ton of effort – so I actually appreciate that detail.

Also a few people have asked “wait, are the black feet of your bed ugly?” and I didn’t even know what they meant and had to run upstairs and look at them in person, but I guess in the online photos where it’s cut out and placed on a white background they’re really clunky and obvious, but the bed’s feet are set in a bit from the upholstered frame, so they’re basically in the bed’s shadow if that makes sense. I literally never notice them or “register” that there are those little black feet in real life because the upholstered part is pulled forward, so that’s really all you see.

Ok, now that I’ve told you everything you could possibly wonder about our bed…. let’s turn our attention to curtains. BECAUSE CURTAINS ARE HARD. Our old curtains in here had been some wheat-colored cheapies I grabbed at HomeGoods years ago, but after we installed white curtains throughout the entire beach house, I developed what can only be described as an animalistic craving for white curtains in here again.

similar dresser / gold frames / bench / similar rug / similar chair

So much of the room had been beige-ish, that I just thought crisp white curtains would freshen things up and not make the whole space feel like we had a sepia filter on it. So I craigslisted the tan curtains, and on a trip to Ikea sometime last winter we loaded up on three sets of our favorite affordable white curtains (Ikea’s Lenda curtains) for the bedroom. But the reason you haven’t seen an “our bedroom got two updates!” post about this room is because is has taken me nearly a year to finish fixing the curtains (thereby completing this update) so they no longer look like this:

Yup, we lived with them like this for nearly 12 months, and I gotta say, I’m not even ashamed of it. Life is busy, (see: adulting) and curtains can be high maintenance, so they might just end up at the bottom of the list. And this sloppiness underscores the dilemma of Ikea curtains. We LOVE them for their nice heavy white fabric and their affordable price: just $25 for two 98″ tall curtains (which means they’re long enough to go from floor-to-ceiling in a standard eight foot room). And if you have extra tall rooms you can also get two of their 108″ length for $35.

And now for a curtain-related side rant: don’t buy too-short curtains at Target! I don’t even know why anyone makes 86″ curtains because it’s SO MEAN and they’re never tall enough to make a room look as good as it could with 95″ (or taller) curtains!

Unlike Ikea’s cheaper Vivan curtains, the Lenda ones have a decent weight to them – in fact they look extremely similar to curtains sold by West Elm and Pottery Barn but they’re a heckova lot more budget-friendly. But let me tell you… Ikea’s photos of these curtains are so not-selling that when people ask where we get our white curtains and we link to them, 100% of people say “that’s the wrong link” – because they’re actually sold with big tabs on the top and they have these country-looking tiebacks, and they essentially look nothing like this:

They look like this:

I know.

This doesn’t look like the same set of curtains. But it is.

And these are the exact same Lenda curtain panels too. We’ve probably had them in our office for the longest amount of time (four years or so) and they look great. We got two sets for each side of that large window so they’d look extra full – and our entire curtain cost was $50.

woven blinds (pecan color) / desk chair / desk / bench / rug / similar faux plant

But… if you’re someone who just wants curtains that you can throw up on a rod and have them look awesome, these aren’t them. Getting them to look presentable can take a significant amount of effort in our experience, but after it’s all said and done, they can look pretty darn decent. Plus they’re washable (which is a great thing in a house with kids and a dog – or a rental house like our beach houses) and they’re not so expensive that they’re precious – so you can relax and not freak out if kids twirl around in them or hides back there, which is a daily occurrence in our house.

So what are the things we do to turn these formerly-tab-topped curtains into what you see in the photo above? I thought you’d never ask. Here’s my process:

Step 1: Wash them on hot and dry them on high to pre-shrink them (they’ll shrink a ton – maybe 5″, but in a standard height room that’s just fine – and you NEED to preshrink curtains before you hang them. Otherwise if they get dirty later and you launder them, they’ll look like bad highwaters when you hand them back up.

Step 2: Use a sharp pair of scissors to cut off the tabs right above the sewed line where they’re attached along the top edge.

Step 3: Fold the top edge over once to hide where you cut the tabs, making sure the fold goes toward the back of the curtain (facing the window). Once it’s all clipped that fold looks just like a sewed top seam and has a nice finished look.

Step 4: Clip your rings on along the fold. We use 6 ring clips per panel: one on each end and then one on every other vertical seam, which you can see above. Your spacing my be different if you’re using different curtains, but ours are about 10″ apart.

Step 5: Slide two pre-washed & clipped panels onto your curtain rod, and hold it up to determine the best height to install it. Remember to go high and wide around your window, but not so high that the curtains don’t touch the floor, and not so wide that they look flat (volume from the curtains draping is really pretty). We typically go around 8″ beyond the window trim on the sides, and like to hang the rod a few inches below the ceiling, but use the length of your panels to determine the best height.

This was a far as I made it with these new curtains for basically a year, so if yours look something like the messy picture below – don’t worry. We’ve all been there. Well, at least I have. Many times. And I’ve lived to tell the tale. In fact it wasn’t until last week that we finally carried out the final two steps.

Step 6: Iron or steam your curtains. We steamed the curtains at the beach house while they hung in place – but we found that we got the best result with two people doing that (one to hold the curtain taut, the other to steam – this is our steamer, btw). So to get the smoothest result at home with just one person on curtain duty, we took them down and ironed them. I knocked out four of them before bed one night last week, and John did the other two the following evening (which explains why the hairy arm in this picture is his and not mine).

Step 7: Once the curtains are pre-shrunk and fully relaxed, it’s safe to hem them if you need to. Sometimes you get lucky and they shrink enough so that you can hang them high without needing any hemming – but a little is usually necessary for us. I like to use no-sew hem tape, but I tried a new cheater-way to hem these and it worked, so I’m sharing it. NO HEM TAPE OR SEWING REQUIRED!!!

I just unclipped them one clip at a time while standing on a chair and folded them over until I liked the way they hit the floor below (just the slightest little break – like they’re kissing the floor) and reclipped them to hold them that way. The fold of fabric is in the back of the curtain, facing the window, so you don’t see it from the front – it actually just looks like a nice thick top hem when the light shines through.

You can’t really tell that I took a short cut, and it means if they ever shrink in a future washing (or we decide we want more or less fabric touching the floor) we can just adjust them just by unclipping them and changing the fold. Genius? Probably not. Lazy? Most definitely!

Are they the most luxe high-end curtains out there? Nope. Do we think they look nice, hold up well, and add softness & height to a room? Yup. Did we do the entire bedroom for $75? Yup. And that’s less than the cost of one of these stock white 95″ curtain panels (and we got 6 panels!). Getting custom curtains can also be significantly more expensive – and it can make them feel extra precious. They’re also not usually washable which is a huge selling point for me when it comes to these.

Maybe someday we’ll feel fancy enough to splurge on custom curtains. Using them in some of our showhouse projects means we’ve experienced the difference firsthand (really, they look amazing and perfectly graze the floor and don’t even need to be steamed – they arrive totally ready to hang). So this isn’t an anti-custom curtain rant or anything – we just know lots of people who can’t swallow that custom curtain price tag right now, and might want something that feels easier to live with/wash for this season of life. So hopefully this elbow-grease-but-affordable method can help you get SOME sort of window treatments in your house. And you know I won’t judge you if it takes a year to get them finished.

Also, dogs don’t have to adult. I wanna be Burger.

Believe it or not, this isn’t the first time we’ve had white Lenda curtains in this room (but they got stolen for the office at one point). So here’s that story, and more curtain projects/tips from over the years:

Using Iron-Tape To Hem Lenda Curtains

How To Make No-Sew Curtains From Any Fabric

15 Minute Blackout Curtains for $15

18 Tips For Picking The Right Curtains

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