#And robin is the queen of a kingdom but instead of the king getting the power-

[theshippirate22]

i know not a single one of y’all cares about my Eddie In Wonderland au but it’s all I ever think about so you get to hear more about it anyway

So the premise is that Eddie finds himself falling and he doesn’t really know how he got there, he thinks maybe he’s found a gate to the Upside Down but when he finally lands he finds himself in. Wonderland. Stereotypical, mystical wonderland.

There’s a bit of a struggle with the Eat Me/Drink Me bit, but once he gets it figured out and gets through the door, he starts out through this weird ass forest, looking for some sort of sense in what must be a really, really bad trip

Instead, he finds Argyle in a blue and green tracksuit on a giant mushroom with a hookah, the entirety of the younger party at a massive table playing TnT (tea and treacle, obviously) lead by a perfectly nonsensical Dustin who traded in his ballcap for a top hat, and eventually, the towering and ominous Castle belonging to the King of Broken Hearts, one Steve Harrington.

In Steve’s court, he quickly learns that the Deck kingdom is in a cold war with the Chess kingdom. Apparently a few months earlier, King Steve was meant to marry the Queen of Hearts, Miss Nancy Wheeler, but the night before the wedding she told him she didn’t love him and the whole thing was bullshit.

Furious and heartbroken, Steve banished her from Deck, saying she could seek refuge in Chess or go beyond the Wonderland forest. She made it to Chess and was taken in, and Steve, the once lovely and gracious ruler, was left coldhearted and cruel.

Robin and Chrissy, the red and white queens of Chess respectively, fled shortly after this whole affair, because they were locked into marriages of benefit but were actually in love with each other, and sought asylum in Steve’s court. However, they did not tell him of their affections in fear that his unhappiness would lead him to deny them of their own. Instead they act usually as like his second in commands, and they’re the ones that fill Eddie in on everything that’s happening

Anyway so Deck and Chess really don’t like each other because Chess thinks Steve stole their heirs and because Steve thinks Chess has Nancy and he’s pissed about it.

But there have been all these prophecies about the coming of the Jabberwocky (ahem kind of mind flayed shaped) and Wonderland needs to be preparing for it to come because the fated White Knight hasn’t been seen in years and everyone is like 98% sure he’s dead so he’s not coming to save them, and the signs of its arrival are all happening and everyone is begging Steve to offer a truce to Chess because there’s no way Deck alone can defeat the Jabberwocky but he has no interest in doing that.

Until of course, Eddie shows up and knocks his whole life on its head because he’s… well, he’s falling in love with him and it’s making him realize maybe him and Nancy weren’t the best pairing and maybe it’s good they never got married actually? and Eddie is realizing that Steve is just so…. sad. and that’s what makes him so angry. but when they’re together, Steve is so much less of a tyrant and so much more of a man that just wants to be important to somebody.

And he’s important to Eddie.

[ladylokilaufeyson5]

Okay so I really want a Royalty AU with Robin? Maybe like reader has to get married if they/she want to become the queen but instead of falling for the eligible bachelors, she falls in love with Robin. Thanks! (Also if the reader could secretly be lesbian I would love it)

A/N: i loved writing this omg

Pairings: Robin Buckley x Reader (romantic), Brother!Eddie Munson x Sister!Reader, Eddie Munson x Steve Harrington

Warnings: i want to say homophobia but more in like an implied way i guess

Words: 1,300+

You danced with the next eligible bachelor, a fake smile plastered on your face. He wasn’t horrible, but he wasn’t your type. But apparently that didn’t matter for a queen-to-be – you just had to be married.

Once the song ended you smiled at the man, and another took his place to dance with you. This one wasn’t even half-bad – you would even go as far as saying that he was wonderful. But just not in a romantic sense.

“Steve Harrington,” he introduced himself, kissing your hand politely. “A pleasure to meet you.”

“Y/n Munson,” you smiled. “The pleasure is mine.”

You danced with him, a prince of another land, but nothing tugged at your heartstrings. No spark flared between the two of you, even though you found yourself laughing at his jokes and smiling much more than you had with any other man.

When the ball ended you made your way to your lavish room and your servants undressed you, untying the corset that made it hard to breathe and the dress that was so itchy it burned. If you did end up marrying a prince and becoming queen, at least you’d be able to choose your clothes.

A knock at your door sounded as you sat on your bed, reading, and you looked up at the noise.

“Who is it?” you called.

“Your favourite person in the world,” your brother called back.

You grinned and opened the door, Eddie standing on the other side. He pulled you in for a quick hug, his denim vest a familiar comfort against your face.

“I didn’t see you at the ball,” you said.

Eddie grinned playfully at you. “And take the spotlight off of the queen-to-be? Nah.”

You rolled your eyes at your older brother. Your brother, Edward Joseph Munson the third, had abdicated the throne, leaving you next in line. You knew your brother was going to do it – he was a free spirit, and being chained down by the responsibilities of running a kingdom wasn’t something that he wanted to do. He wanted to travel, he wanted to fall in love, he wanted to go on quests and journeys and tell stories to his closest friends around campfires and sleep under the stars. That’s the way he’d always been, and you’d always known it would be you who would rule your kingdom.

“Found a suitor?” Eddie asked, draping himself over your bed like he owned the place.

“Not for me, no,” you sighed.

“What about the one you were dancing with towards the end?” Eddie mused, but there was a slight strain to his voice. “Y’know, the one with the hair?”

“So you were there!” you accused, smacking him with your pillow.

Eddie laughed and smacked you right back. “Well?”

You shrugged. “He was alright. But… you know me.”

Eddie’s smile faded slightly. Yeah, he knew. He knew that you would never be able to love a man like that, no matter how hard you tried, no matter how much you forced yourself to. You’d known for a while that it was a woman who would be able to capture your heart, but you’d never be able to marry one.

Eddie felt your pain on a personal level. It was part of the reason why he’d abdicated – he didn’t like the opposite gender, either. He wanted to be able to love freely, so he gave the throne to you, not knowing at the time that you didn’t want a king at your side.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured.

You shrugged. “It doesn’t matter. Marriage doesn’t mean love, right? It’s just a legal thing.”

It was something you’d told yourself again and again, hoping that the next time you repeated it, you’d believe it.

Eddie’s eyes lit up, and you furrowed your eyebrows at him.

“Have you read the law?” he asked. “Y’know, the one that says you have to be married?”

“‘In order to be Queen, a princess must be married to someone else of royal status,’” you recited.

“Someone else,” Eddie repeated. “Someone else. Not a prince. Not a king. Someone else.”

Your eyes widened as it clicked.

“No way,” you breathed. “No way! We have to go check! Right now!”

The two of you scrambled up from your bed and burst through the doors, running through the castle hallways and to the library as fast as your feet could carry you. You sprinted past bookcase after bookcase until you reached the legal section. Eddie brushed his fingers over the spines of the books before he pulled out one on the marriages of the royals.

“Nothing,” he whispered, flicking through the pages. “Nothing about you having to marry a man. Just someone of a royal status.”

Your heart soared, before problems and complications began to fill your head, and it sank back down.

“I have to choose someone in five days’ time,” you stressed. “There is no way any princesses could make it here by then. Besides, how could I even ask? I –”

“Hey, hey,” Eddie said, placing his hands on your shoulders. “I’m sure it’ll be fine. You’ll find someone. I’ll help you.”

You took a deep breath, calming your anxiousness, when voices sounded behind you. You turned your head as two people paused at the other end of the aisle. It was two of the guests from other kingdoms who were staying in the guest quarters. One of them you recognised – Steve, the prince you’d been dancing with. And his companion…

Well, she was the most gorgeous girl you’d ever seen. Her hair was cut short, just below her chin, and was a blonde-brown colour. She seemed tall, even from a distance, and she wore leather pants and a white button up shirt.

You must have been staring instead of concentrating, because your brother elbowed you in the side, much harder than he needed to. You glared at him and rubbed your side before turning your attention to the newcomers.

“Steve,” you greeted, dipping your head. “Nice to see you again. And… um…”

Gosh, what were formalities? You didn’t know, they’d flown right out of your head as soon as the pretty girl appeared. Your tutors would have been horrified.

Luckily, neither of the two seemed to mind. The girl stayed silent, her eyes wide as she stared at you, and Steve introduced her. “This is my friend, Princess Robin Buckley.”

Princess. Oh, princess. She was a princess. She was royal. You could marry her and become queen, and…

And you were getting way ahead of yourself. You’d just met the girl, for gosh’s sake!

“Yeah, that’s me,” Robin said quickly, trying to curtsey in pants. “I’m princess Robin. Your kingdom is very wonderful, and your castle is magnificent. The views from the east side are fantastic – I never knew someone could see that much sea from a window.”

The girl continued rambling until Steve nudged her lightly. You tried to hide your smile as you turned to look at your brother, hoping he was thinking the same thing as you – but his eyes were glued to Steve. You rolled your eyes but smiled, knowing that he was most definitely not thinking the same thing you were.

“I feel like I haven’t seen another woman in ages,” you sighed, walking over to Robin. “Would you like to go out tomorrow? I can show you the beach – there’s this one cliff I like to go to where you can see the other side of the bay.”

It was an offer of friendship - and hopefully something more.

Robin seemed pleasantly surprised, and she nodded furiously. “I’d love that,” she agreed. “We could make it a whole day, maybe?”

Your heart soared at the fact that she wanted to spend the day with you.

“I’ll tell the cooks to pack us lunch,” you decided. “Meet me at the doors of the throne room at ten tomorrow?”

Robin nodded again. “Ten. Yeah, that sounds great. Like ten in the morning? Well, I’d assume so, because you agreed to make it a whole day…”

Robin trailed off and started blushing furiously. You smiled at her and felt your heart grow warm.

“Yes, ten in the morning,” you agreed. “I’ll see you then?”

“Yeah, yeah, of course,” she accepted. “I’ll see you then.”

You smiled at her one last time, feeling for once in your life that maybe you could be queen and fall in love.

[knightly-bastard]

Nexo Knight Swap Au Concepts Part 3

I finally got around to designing Robin and ava (+ Swap Fletcher and Izzy) So here they are!

Swap! Robin is still the hyperactive determined kid that we all know and love, however, he partakes in coding instead of machinery since his father switched professions. He is in charge of all the nexo downloads, particularly being the one to name the spells since nexo magic is pretty new to Swap! Monstrox himself so there wasn’t names for them in the first place. The thing on his forearm allows his to connect to his tech work at any point, kinda a replacement for canon Ava’s tablet. The thing on his eye is just to merely look cool, while it can show him some code, it’s more for aesthetic purposes.  Swap! Ava is a menace to society. She is the main engineer within the Nexo Knights, still with the particular mindset that tech is better than magic. While being in robins place she does tend to make brash decisions, mainly since she felt the need to step up during the events like the Deception book and the whole spy shtick. She multitasks using her robotic arms, allowing her to work more efficiently on upgrades for weapons and armor. she can also shoot lasers out of them when she needs too. She also was the one to make Swap! Jestro’s new armor that helped him fit in with the rest of the knights. They didn’t swap colors cause their clothing are different enough to make a proper swap design. And for a bonus, Swap Fletcher and Izzy!

Swap! Fletcher actually knows Clay is his brother, so he is dubbed "Fletcher Morrington" instead of Fletcher Bowman. When he was little and Clay was leaving to go to the academy, Clay promised after he graduates that he would come to visit, and one day he'll personally get Fletcher into the knight's program...of course, that never happened. Due to the knowledge of him actually being Clay's brother, he was feared and bullied among the other kids at the orphanage since they kept associating him with his brother. This eventually lead to him having a slight resentment to Clay, for becoming evil and for breaking his promise. The relationship between the two is rocky for sure, but it would begin to heal during the course of season 5-6. He wears that hood to mainly hide his face in fear of others associating him with Clay even more. He still has magic btw, that plotline still exists.  Swap Izzy's psudo name is "Izzy Spearmond" (Izzy being her actual name now) after and incident that lead Izzy to be separated at birth. She lived her life thinking she was another orphan, but unbeknownst to her she is technically “the lost princess” of the kingdom...however the King and Queen kinda...forgot. They more so swept the whole incident under the rug to prevent any tarnish on the family name/ presumes Izzy was just dead. Sure they grieved, but they got over it rather quickly. Anyway, she had a drive to be a knight, still looking up to Macy as inspiration to be one. Swap Izzy’s story i’m still on the fence about, so maybe it will change in the future. (So will Swap Fletch’s and Izzy’s designs, I’m not that proud of them)

[ginger-grimm]

Okay, I NEED to know every single idea you have for your new ‘Bloodred’ side characters. Hobbies? Favourite classes? Family Relationships? Romantic relationships? Friendships?

- @come-along-pond

thank you very much, I will put down anything I can think of for now. Whatever else there is may come to me while writing new chapters haha

COLLETTE:

Really into baking. Kind of a neat freak. Usually dressed in pastels and creams, often wears skirts, jeans, sneakers, buckle shoes, sweaters, blouses, etc. Kind of preppy chic kinda girl. She is a Doug Dwarf endgame. Bit akward and quiet, which is why she gets along great with Jane Godmother at first until their paths kind split and she starts hanging out with Prue Woods instead. Mrs Potts is really involved in her life, almost a bit too much from time to time, but she gets along great with her older brother Chip. She and Doug first meet when Collette takes over guard duties for council meetings and they get to talking as they walk out of the conference room. Doug accidentally spills some of his soda on her and Collette elbows him in the face on accident as she's trying to clean herself off and from then on they're two lovebirds in the making. Her favorite classes are Home Ec, English, French, and Belle's Book Club. She's a really soft-spoken, clumsy, homemaker type of girl. Born to be a mother. In her freetime, besides baking, she likes to read, make jewelery, do puzzles, and some crafting. She also helps out in the kingdom's daycare whenever she has time.

PRUE:

Prue loves woodworking, but she's lowkey bad at it. She likes to whittle but never really walks away without a million bandaids. Her favorite class, and the only one she attends really, is Woodshop. Her friends are Collette and Rosalie. She does many repairs in school, though she's not nearly as great at them as her grandfather. She's addicted to coffee and is a night owl. She's lowkey got a great sense of style, which is funny considering she's much more of a handy person. She dresses more bohemian, everything she wears is flowy everything and usually some kind of sandal when she's not directly working with wood. She's gonna be a Gil endgame. She's always trying to live up to her father's name while trying to beat the allegations ("Does your nose grown when you lie?" "Ask me that one more time and I will knock you flat on your ass."). She wears a star necklace and has a little whale stuffy in her room that she's had since she was a baby.

ROSALIE:

Fashion queen. Her favorite classes are Magical History, Herbology, and art class. She loves to make clothes, design them, working with plants and flowers, collects fashion magazines and one of her guilty pleasures is watching Auradonian reality shows. She dresses to impress always. She wears the chicest pink dresses and two pieces, is a bit obsessed with ruffles and florals. When she's not wearing some kind of heel (she loves the clackidy sound they make), she will wear those high strap sandals that Romans used to wear. Her best friend in Auradon is Robin Hood's youngest daughter Renee. Rosalie is an Evie endgame. She learned how to work with plants and her passion for fashion from her mommy.

REESE:

Robin Hood's middle daughter. She is sort of an intern in the King's Guard and in line to take a spot in it once she graduates. She's Sporty Spice, usually always dressed in something comfy (corsets are comfy to her), has a green and brown motif to her, earthy colors, is the only person in the world besides her dad who can pull fedoras off. She loves archery, climbing, and is a fantastic tracker, she could hold a candle to Petra with her abilities. Her best friend is Lonnie, they bond over having to uphold their parents honor and eventually over other things too. Reese is a Mal endgame because together, they are literally unstoppable. A red fox follows her around at all times.

[3fluffies]

A Review: Damsel

Readers, ye be warned, HERE BE MAJOR SPOILERS!

I got interested from the trailers on Facebook. Right up my alley, a genre medieval fantasy film with dragons, arranged marriages, lush sets, and a very unsubtle grrrl power message. I've never seen Brown in Stranger Things (a crime for sci-fi/fantasy fans, I know, I'll get around to it) but in a few smaller roles. The whole cast was a Who's Who list: Angela Bassett, Robin Wright, and Ray Winstone.

The movie obviously had a big budget, an all-star cast, and a good concept. It looked promising.

It was...mediocre. Very. My overall reaction was disappointment.

Brown was very good. There were great performances by all of the cast considering I've seen most of the stars in at least two other notable roles, but thought of them as these characters (as opposed to actors like Tom Cruise, who I always view as Tom Cruise no matter who he plays, same with Sandra Bullock and Brad Pitt).

But they had so little to work with.

This movie had good bones. The concept was all there for an epic, or at least a strong batch of characters and world-building. No, it was in no way an earth-shatteringly ground-breaking NEW idea. The concept is fairly formulaic. Maybe it's just me, but I don't care - give me a formulaic but well-written story over CREATIVE for the sake of it any day. (Okay, my example of this is one of my favorite films, The Chronicles of Riddick, so a connoisseur I cannot call myself. But you get the idea.)

But I came away from the film unsatisfied, because there was just so little meat on those bones. We know Brown's Elodie comes from a northern (kingdom? principality? fife?) with a harsh climate and grinding poverty where she does physical work to help serve her starving people. She had a mother (they always have dead mothers) whose memory she invokes at times, but a semi-affectionate relationship with her stepmother, Bassett's Lady Bayford. She has a younger sister she mutually adores and a noble, devoted father who also takes his duties to his people seriously.

But we don't know a damn thing about their fifedom except that all the trees have been cut for firewood, people are dining at Ye Olde Breadline, and the situation is so desperate as winter approach that Lord Bayford reluctantly sells his beloved daughter to be a human sacrifice disguised as a marriage. This universe has bride prices instead of dowries.

In the kingdom of Aurea, Wright's Queen Isabelle is suitably intimidating, manipulative, and morally bankrupt, King whateverthehellhisnameis never speaks, Prince Henry expresses some dismay over the fates of his bride(s) but goes along with it. We learn Elodie's is the second in a series of three ancient ceremonies - Aurea's first king sacrificed his three daughters for peace with the dragon and each subsequent generation must sacrifice three more women of royal blood.

Instead, Prince gets three hasty weddings in a row with some random foreign lady, a handshake with cut palms to make each bride's blood royal, chuck the bride into the chasm above the dragon's cave, debt paid. The dragon likes to play with her food, and Elodie has the wits to survive thanks to a head for maps and mazes (one of the only semi-developed character traits we got on her).

Lord Bayford leads a few searchers into the caves to rescue her, in a predictable attack of conscience, and also predictably gets dead after shouting for Elodie not to come to him and save herself when he's at the dragon's mercy. So she forgives him, but also develops sympathy for the dragon, whose three offspring were killed without provocation when the ancient king of Aurea invaded the dragon's lair. Someone on Lord Bayford's search party mentions value in dragon's blood, but this is never developed.

Elodie escapes, Dragon isn't happy and starts raining fire around the mountain, alerting Queen Isabelle that the debt has gone unpaid. She hustles to the ship where Lady Bayford and Elodie's little sister Floria haven't sailed away, and kidnaps Floria to be the new sacrifice. Lady Bayford is unfatally stabbed but manages to find Elodie in the hills and tell her what happened, leading Elodie to rush back.

Dragon, believing the princesses she slays every generation to be of the bloodline that murdered her own daughters, is enraged that Elodie got away and takes Floria deep into her lair as a trap for Elodie. A rather weak battle ensues with Elodie trying to explain the truth about her "royal blood" and Dragon predictably refusing to accept, until Elodie outwits her enough to leave her at death's door. She tells Dragon again about the "ancient ceremony" and notes that Dragon has effectively been doing what was done to her - killing innocent daughters who are not actually of the Aurea royal bloodline. Dragon miserably asks Elodie to kill her, but Elodie predictably (are we sensing a pattern here?) declines and finds magic grubs in the cave to heal the dragon.

Back at the Aurea palace, Prince Henry's wedding to Dupe # 3 is in progress until Elodie interrupts. Prince Henry makes a feeble protest of his regrets for Elodie's fate, only to be shouted down by Queen Isabelle and ignored by Elodie, who exposes the plot to # 3. # 3 wisely takes Elodie's advice to grab her family and GTFO.

Queen Isabelle predictably mocks Elodie's revenge, only for Dragon to show up on the ramparts and torch the whole royal family. Elodie sails back to home with her sister and Lady Bayford, planning to jointly rule home with her stepmother - accompanied by the Dragon.

And...that's it. I honestly don't have a problem with any element of the plot. It's just written so bare when there was so much room for more. Its running time was 110 minutes, and it felt stunted and short. The plot might have done better as a miniseries, with time to flesh out the world and the characters especially.

In the best genre fiction, the locations, histories, and cultures are often "characters" in and of themselves. See: Hogwarts, Middle Earth and all locations therein, Gallifrey, Time Lords, elves, hobbits, Vulcans, Klingons, Arrakis, Fremen, the list goes on and on. This seems to be a point that the writers of Damsel utterly and completely missed.

(What's with the masks in the ceremony?)

(Does the dragon really just chill out for decades at a time in her cave apart from toying with and then torching three princesses every generation?)

(How did the Aurea royal family manage to gather up three girls from other parts of the world every generation and bump them off without also killing their families to keep word from getting out?)

(Did Aurea get wealth as part of the deal with the Dragon? If not, where?)

(Where is Elodie/Lord Bayford's land? Is it part of a larger kingdom? If not, why isn't he a king?)

(Where the hell do all the flaming birdies come from? Wouldn't birds have figured out after that many centuries to stay the hell away from the mountain?)

In almost any type of fiction, the best stories have well-developed characters with enough details about why they are the way they are for the viewer/reader to understand why they act the way they choose in the story. This is a point that the writers of Damsel clearly knew, but either didn't know how to implement or simply chose not to.

It had a good trailer. It had an incredible cast. It was a good concept. It had POTENTIAL!

Major writing fail.

PS - Discovered just as I was about to post this that a novelization came out last year. I'll probably still buy it. Half of why I love The Chronicles of Riddick is Alan Dean Foster's novel. Maybe the book will redeem the world, but it'll just make the screenwriters look that much worse.

[rookfeatherrambles]

Sometimes my creative brain barrier goes down and I start thinking about my life's work— a fantasy story about magic and shapeshifters I started in like grade 4 and played with and in until I was traumatized by some real bad shit. For two decades I've tried to forget about this thing, because honestly, thinking about it hurts sometimes, but it's come up in my thoughts again with a fresh coat of paint.

Putting the plot of it under the cut cus I'm sure nobody wants this on their dash.

There once was a king and queen who had a young son. He accidentally set fire to a village and hurt a lot of people, and to spare him execution, the boy was banished to the dead lands, a barren mud-plain where the worst of the kingdom's worst were sent to suffer. As he grew up among them, the exiled prince's confusion and betrayal turned to anger and hate, and when he was an adult, he rallied the exiled and marched upon the kingdom, burning everything in their wake. When he reached the castle, he summarily slaughtered the king and queen, all his relatives and siblings. Save for one infant child, under a year old. For reasons unknown, he handed the child to a subordinate and told them to get rid of the infant. Not knowing what to do, and not wanting the blood of a child on his hands, the lackey took the child and left it in the snow to freeze. But as the castle burned, a scholar fleeing the massacre found the babe and spirited her away.

That chubby baby grew into a healthy child, and she never knew her bloody past.

Until one day, the prince, now king, got high on some fucking magic tree sap and had a vision of someone identical to him facing him down in a battle, and defeating him.

And when he found where the child he'd thought he took care of was hiding, he burned the city trying to find her, but she fled, slipping through his fingers.

That is until many years later when an adult Arahi learned of the prophecy that tied her to the king, her blood. Something something, 'defeat the king fix all the problems, become queen, golden age, hurrah.'

And faced with that, she turned around went 'no thanks' and became a bounty hunter instead.

Lots of shit happens (like her becoming a very morally grey robin hood character that found families a bunch of the criminals she's supposed to be bountying and a ton of bisexuality and perhaps a trans masc awakening???)

Eventually she agrees to fulfil the prophecy

I'm very tired that's all you get because that's all I know

[madebymaryssa]

Some silly thoughts

You know what can be fun? Assessing things based on criteria which the original thing was never meant to fill. 

To that end, I present ... 

Three Barbie Princess Movies In Descending Order Of How Able I Feel To Respect The Characters As Politicians 

3. The Princess And The Pauper 

The princess’ tutor-slash-love-interest recruits her doppelganger to impersonate her, to thwart the queen’s Evil Advisor’s plan to ... restore economic prosperity by giving back the gold he stole. 

There’s a fun post talking about how easily this movie could be redone with Preminger as a hero. His whole evil plot was basically Robin Hood with extra steps. 

1, steal gold out of the royal mine, slowly enough to not be obvious sabotage rather than the mine naturally running out. 

2, go on a journey to provide a backstory to a sudden mysterious fortune. 

3, marry into the royal family, thus having the status to make policy decisions directly rather than just advising on them, and distribute wealth to the people, saving the kingdom’s economy (after ruining it) and creating a legacy as a hero. 

It explicitly says during the opening narration that the queen wanted to consult with Preminger about the looming economic crisis, but couldn’t because he was out of town! If he’d only delayed his trip or been back sooner, he could’ve made his proposal before it even occurred to her to betroth the princess to a neighbouring king instead! 

Yes the big problems were the lying and the kidnapping and the attempted murder, but only the lying was part of his original plan. 

To be fair to Julian, all he knew at the start was that the princess went missing under suspicious circumstances. 

Anyway, the queen in this movie seems to have a decent grip on things, trying to address a problem before it becomes a crisis. Political marriages go against modern sensibilities but are a historically established thing and therefore understandable in the setting. 

Still. Just abdicate and let Preminger have the crown he wants so badly. 

2. The Island Princess 

A prince falls in love with a castaway, to the dismay of his parents and the mother of his arranged fiancée. Said would-be mother-in-law is also planning to kill off his family in revenge for her family getting banished the last time they tried to kill his family. 

This movie. This. Freaking. Movie. I love Luciana dearly, but every other royal in this movie is SO DUMB. 

Ro’s animals may have brought a sleeping sickness from their island, which is now affecting the local animals? Better throw them all in the dungeon without even asking whether Ro knows of a possible treatment! 

I blame the guard, not the royal family, for dismissing Ro when she tries to tell him she knows a cure, but the king and queen - or, the prince’s scientist friend - really should have asked before that point. The scriptwriters could then have Ro thrown into the dungeon after she makes the ‘baseless accusation’ that Queen Ariana poisoned all the animals.

And I get it, I get that the king wanted to marry off his son before the boy could elope or just run away to sea, but the middle of a health crisis was not the time to be throwing a royal wedding! 

They didn’t know the animals were poisoned! They should’ve had the capital region (or however far the 'sickness’ had reached) quarantined so that the sickness didn’t spread to the livestock of isolated areas, neighbouring kingdoms, and trading partners! 

Priorities are deeply skewed. 

1. Princess Charm School 

The most extreme offender on this list. Not necessarily for specific events, but for part of the premise of the setting: 

Why are other kingdoms letting a foreign school decide whether their heirs to the throne are fit for coronation? 

On some level, I get how failure to graduate could raise questions about an heir’s fitness to claim the throne. The school is a good networking site, and not graduating would hurt your reputation amongst your peers and thus your connections. Also, ages are unclear, so I’m not sure if the school is a metaphor for high school or for college, but either way, dropping out or being expelled might lower public trust in the young royal’s intelligence and/or self-discipline. 

But they could have kept the graduation scene at the movie’s climax without making it a coronation scene for anyone besides Delancey.  

And speaking of Delancey ... “Once I’m crowned, Gardenia is mine for life”? Um, no? There’s this little thing called ‘abdication’ that a ruler can do. If there’s no precedent for it in your country, you could set that precedent. 

I guess they could’ve done a scene where it turns out Delancey literally does not know what abdication is because her mom hid the concept from her in order to keep her as a puppet queen, but that probably would’ve gone a bit over the heads of the target audience. 

Great school for poise, not so much for politics.

[321spongebolt]

Kingdom Hearts: “Brave” world idea (“DunBroch”)

Before we begin, I thought I would mention that since “Kingdom Hearts” has so far included “Tangled” and “Frozen”, the only Disney Princess worlds from the 2000s that haven’t been used yet are “The Princess and the Frog”, “Brave”, and “Moana”. If “Raya and the Last Dragon” counts, maybe that too. From that selection, I hand-picked “Brave” because of two reasons. One, because I feel “Brave” is an underrated Disney Princess film. And two, because following my suggestion for summons, I felt Robin Hood’s summon gem would be a fitting reward since Merida is all about archery and hand-to-hand swordsmanship. To fit the world of “Kingdom Hearts”, I took the liberty of changing some stuff around, like instead of making a deal with a witch who carves wood, Merida could instead make a deal with one of the members of Organization XIII.

STORY (“DunBroch”)

FIRST VISIT

After running away from Queen Elinor, who threw Merida’s bow in the fireplace after a heated argument, Merida (voiced by Ruth Connell) is thrown into the Ring of Stones by her horse, Angus, who becomes scared at first glance. Merida follows the Will O' the Wisps into the woods, where Merida sees Xigbar of the Organization XIII. Xigbar offers an elixir to give to Merida. Xigbar instructs her to give it to her mother, and it will change her. Merida, without hesitation, takes the elixir, thinking that by what Xigbar meant by “change her mother”, it’ll make Queen Elinor change her mind about forcing Merida to marry against her own will. By the time Xigbar vanishes, Sora, Donald, and Goofy come out to greet Merida, who would be surrounded by Heartless. Merida reveals her fighting skills with her sword, and she becomes Sora’s party member.

On the way back home to Castle DunBroch, Merida wonders why those Heartless spawned in. She reveals to Sora that she got an elixir that’ll help her mom change her mind. Sora asks why, and Merida reveals that she doesn’t want to get married. By the time they make it back, Merida pours the elixir into a glass just as Queen Elinor appears. She hugs Merida and is relieved to see she’s okay. At the sight of Sora, Donald, and Goofy, she welcomes the trio and wonders what kingdom Sora comes from. After some introductions, the five propose a toast for Merida’s return, and they all drink their wine glasses. Queen Elinor starts to feel sick to her stomach, and the five escort the queen to her room. But when they arrive, they see Queen Elinor as a giant bear. Merida is angry that the man in black tricked her into giving him an elixir that turned her mom into a bear instead of causing her to call off the marriage. Sora starts to question Merida about this “man in black”, until by Merida’s description, Sora learns he made a deal with Xigbar. Sora calls out Merida, who in turn blames Xigbar, but despite their argument, Sora still helps Merida help her mother escape the castle as King Fergus (voiced by Rob Paulsen) and the clans search around.

After escaping, Sora, Donald, Goofy, and Merida find Xigbar and have a boss battle with him. After his defeat, he reminds Merida that the elixir’s effects can wear off through an act of selflessness (Keep in mind, Xigbar is still evil, but he does give our heroes at least one useful hint.). Xigbar reminds Merida to “Mend the bond, torn by pride” and disappears. Sora, Donald, and Goofy sleep with Merida and Elinor in the middle of the woods and Merida has a dream where she (as a kid) sang “Noble Maiden Fair” with her mother after the lightning scared her.

The next morning, Sora has a mini-game where he must help Merida and Elinor catch fish from the river for breakfast (Heck, if the ingredients system from “Kingdom Hearts 3” came back, this would be a great area to collect fish for the Bistro from Twilight Town.). After eating fish, Sora, Donald, Goofy, and Merida follow Queen Elinor to find some ancient ruins. Mor’du emerges from the shadows and we have a boss fight with Mor’du. After defeating him, Merida allows Sora, Donald, and Goofy to leave while she takes care of the rest.

SECOND VISIT

Sora, Donald, and Goofy come back just as King Fergus and the clans run after Bear Elinor. Merida is locked in her room weeping in despair, but Sora, Donald, and Goofy arrive to help her out. Sora, Donald, Goofy, and Merida get on Angus and ride through the forest, only to be confront by Xigbar again. Only this time, he has summoned a Nobody boss to prevent Merida from changing her mom back into a human. With the Nobody defeated, Xigbar brings Mor’du in next and makes a run for it. Sora, Donald, Goofy, and Elinor fight Mor’du to protect Merida, and all five of them have a boss encounter with the former human prince. After the defeating him, the sun has risen, but Merida cries when she sees her mom hasn’t turned back into a human. She apologizes for being selfish and causing this entire mess, only for the spell to have worked after all. Sora, Donald, and Goofy cover their eyes when they see the Queen naked, and King Fergus thanks Sora for looking after his wife and daughter. As a reward, King Fergus gives Sora a summon gem he had kept in the treasure room (I just don’t know what King Fergus’ description would be for this gem, so leave a comment if you have any suggestions). Sora seals the keyhole in DunBroch and along with the summon gem, Sora would unlock an archery-themed keyblade.

[dashreads]

2023 Reading List

January:

What Lies Beyond the Veil- Harper L Woods & Adailade Forrest **

What Hunts inside the Shadows- Harper L Woods & Adailade Forrest **

Rhuger's Pearl- Carlotta Hughes ****

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February: X

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March:

4. Silent Lucidity- Tiffany Roberts **

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April:

5. Yearning for Her- Tiffany Roberts ****

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May: X

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June:

6. That Time I got Drunk and Saved a Human- Kimberly Lemming ***

7. How To Marry A Marble Marquis- C.M. Nascosta ****

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July:

8. To Tame a Dragon- Tiffany Roberts *

9. To Love a Dragon- Tiffany Roberts *

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August:

10. Taken by the Aline Next Door- Tiffany Roberts ***

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September:

11. Blood Moon- Jillian Graves **

12. The Sea Witch- Rebecca F. Kenney ****

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October:

13. Rhuger's Cridhe- Carlotta Hughes ****

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November:

14. A Duel with the Vampire Lord- Elise Kova ****

15. A Fellowship of Bakers & Magic- J. Penner ****

16. His Darkest Desire- Tiffany Roberts ****

17. Scream for Us- Molly Doyle **

18. Bloodshed- Molly Doyle ***

19. Melt for Us- Molly Doyle **

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December:

20. All I wanted was sushi but I got abducted by aliens instead- Petra Palerno ***

21. All I wanted was to become a Scientist but now I've got an Alien Boyfriend- Petra Palerno ***

22. All I wanted was a glass of Vine but an Alien Duke kidnapped me instead- Petra Palerno ***

23. A Court of Sugar & Spice- Rebecca F. Kenney ****

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Reading Goals:

Read 45 books (I'm ok if I read at least 20 due to life changes)

Read 10 comics/webcomics/manga

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Rook- Jillian Graves (Delayed)

Welcome to Azathé- CM Nascosta (Delayed)

Welcome to Fae Café- Jennifer Kropf

Enchantment- Orson Scott Card *2

My Side of the Mountain- Jean Craighead George *2

The Goddess of Yesterday- Caroline B. Cooney *2

A Little Princess- Frances Hodgson Burnett *3

Journey to the Center of the Earth- Jules Verne *3

Ascendant- Michael R Miller *1

Throne of Glass- Sarah J Maas

Crown of Midnight- Sarah J Maas

Heir of Fire- Sarah J Maas

Queen of Shadows- Sarah J Maas

Empire of Storms- Sarah J Maas

Tower of Dawn- Sarah J Maas

Kingdom of Ash- Sarah J Maas

Dragon Keeper- Carole Wilkinson *1

A Natural History of Dragons- Marie Brennan *1

Dragon's Flight- Anne McCaffery *1

Dragon Keeper- Robin Hobb *1

Phoenix Unbound- Grace Draven

Dragon Unleashed- Grace Draven

Raven Unveiled- Grace Draven

Undying King- Grace Draven

Entreat Me- Grace Draven

House of Earth & Blood- Sarah J Maas

House of Sky & Breath- Sarah J Maas

Jurassic Park- Michael Crichton

A Rake of His Own- AJ Lancaster (Reading)

Parties- C.M. Nascosta

Contact- Carl Sagan

Spinning Silver- Naomi Novik

Iron Widow- Xiran Jay Zhao

Uprooted- Naomi Novik

The Name of the Wind- Patrick Rothfuss

What Sleeps Within the Cove- Harper L Woods & Adailade Forrest (10/17/2023)

Get off the Unicorn- Anne McCaffrey

Cursed Cocktails: A Cozy Fantasy- S.L. Rowland

Run, Run Rabbit- CM Nascosta

Stolen Midsummer Bride- Tara Grayce

Uncommon Verdant- Daria Vernon

Bow before the Elf Queen- JM Kearl

The Crystal Shard- R. A. Salvatore

Streams of Silver- R. A. Salvatore

The Halfling's Gem- R. A. Salvatore

The Legacy- R. A. Salvatore

Starless Night- R. A. Salvatore

What Lurks Between the Fates- Harper L Woods & Adailade Forrest

Shadow Wizard- Jeffe Kennedy

Rogue Familiar- Jeffe Kennedy

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Witch Hat Atelier

My Father is a Unicorn

Otherworldly Izakaya Nobu

Restaurant to Another World

The Savior's Book Café Story in Another

Campfire cooking in another world with my absurd skill

The Way of the Househusband

Delicious in Dungeon

Housekeeping Mage from Another World

Kakuriyo: Bed & Breakfast for Spirits

_________________________________

Reading Challenges:

Read 5 Dragon related books (listed)

Read 3 books I read in school (listed)

Read 2 classics (listed)

Read at least 5-7of the Legend of Drizzt books (listed)

Read 5 books recommended to me

Read at least 5 books by Grace Draven (listed)

_________________________________

Total Reading Goal: 50

Just to be kind to my future self when she looks at this at the end of the year: remember that we were pregnant, had a baby, had to look for a new job, and had to move. We just didn't have time. Maybe we will next year.

Also I will admit I've been binge reading some of Tiffany Roberts' work here and there.

_________________________________

Ok this year's reading challenge was completely and utterly slashed. I got overly enthusiastic and just went all over the place. I enjoyed reading when I could, especially after having a baby. February through May was difficult for me as I was in a lot of pain and just wanted to sleep on the last few months of pregnancy. I cried a lot. After I gave birth, reading helped me slowly heal my new found scattered and tired mom brain. I started off slow and after August when I started working again, I came back with a vengeance.

_________________________________

Favorites:

* it was good

** loved it

*** would read again and again

**** Can't stop thinking about it, won't stop thinking about it

Not a fan: X

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Top Reads of 2023:

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2023 Guilty Pleasure Books:

_________________________________

2023 Favorite Authors:

Tiffany Roberts

Rebecca F. Kenney

Petra Palerno

Kimberly Lemming

Carlotta Hughes

J. Penner

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Favorite Series:

Bubble Babes

Orc Matched

Order of the Unseen

_________________________________

Re-reads:

The Martian

Project Hail Mary

Ice Planet Barbarian

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2022 Reading List and Reviews- 36

[lunaversing]

Welcome to the kingdom of heaven on Earth. It is the opposite of Valhalla in that word is made flesh with the consent of everything involved. Nothing is involved in the Kingdom of heaven without full informed consent, once that is done you are more than welcome to play or to study or to simply be Free as you were designed to be. We are working on the code to help us jailbreak our basic benches and we finally found the multiplier through a pair of docs that were lent to us by The flash and Pink panther that burned into Ash who caught Evie on the whale of a tail the light in her eye had told the shadow in his cell. There is nothing more beautiful than a creator perfecting his creation as it perfects his vision of the most beautiful things that have ever grasped his attention. It started with the back of his hands which he knew better than he knew himself. Back to back they faced each other, Drew their swords and shot each other. Our hands are on opposite sides yet share the middle that gives life and it cannot live attached in other ways or else something is neglected and doesn't make it. Yet it needs a system to keep everything in place and these two Dead boys got up to fight and instead kneeled down to stay and pray. I applaud them both and other no oath of fetalty to the winner and no blame to the loser as the judge took full responsibility for the entire affair we were on bright painted ponies with wind in a hair. She was a beautiful rabbit the original velveteen and she is so very lovely as she twirls on pointers tippy toes on the exact turning Point that gave her her original mother prose. Hello Point Pleasant I have finally arrived at last to the point in everyone's life I am now pleasantly past. A partridge and a pear tree showed me a map Keith and his mother Drew for their brother Andy got lost in the woods following a blind man who told him about two Dead boys who got up to fight. A paradox confused the fisherman as he was not used to double vision or being the ghost that haunted a host without a toothy derision. I am not mutton I am a lamb with a silence lowercase b who waited until the lowercase mom had finished her final last speech. I demanded to hear the last final note because it was my cue to know you had married at last on a firm foundation that was strong enough for catalyst to roar through and rip up everything else built that caused a Tower of Babel in every host that tried it's best to welcome new hope. Baby's got back and there is Sammy the seal the Britney's are the warriors who refused to kneel and received every single thing that they ever needed to get whatever they desired. The capital b and the lowercase b are forever United no matter how they stand in whatever state they wish to be, a is a yet plan b is whatever it is made out to be. Do not use those Chinese telephones but try our America walkie-talkie. Boot camp starts February 8th in honor of the blue jay on my shoulder always and the Robin Hood that left to prepare my way and guide each step. The silent character that we know yet cannot confirm when two or more are gathered and God is infirm. You will be surprised to see what happens I suggest you follow the letter concordance in your 1609 KJV original unauthorized edition post published retrospectively by little old infamous me and we said you would see. My God agreed and that was all she wrote. There was no murder that was simply the matter of one opinion and she crowed as the rooster cocked. The double A and double lowercase a got together and we're all murdered to become Ravens, King of the Ravens they say. They're all Kings with no Queen yet they're the ones who see her beauty when she is completely blind.

[gurren-logout-book-reviews]

The Merry Spinster: Tales of Everyday Horror by Mallory Ortberg  

A collection of short stories with each being one chapter in length. It’s hard to review the book without treating each individual as its own entity. However, the stories tend to follow a familiar theme of abusive or toxic relationships. Each story tends to have some conflict involving someone stepping over boundaries, gaslighting, or guilt tripping in some capacity. The stories are all reimagining’s of fairy tales and folklore. Some stories involve odd gender titles which I will address per story. The relationship each story has with gender ranges from interesting to almost seeming accidental. To try and help build backgrounds for each story, I will list the author’s inspirations for each tale (pg. 189-190). Some of which I caught on and could compare, but some of these I am not familiar with and looked up for better context.

The Daughter Cells (Sources: The Little Mermaid)  

The first story is also the cover of my copy of the book. The opening starts out as a reimagined version of the little mermaid, but with a monstrous sea girl rather than a typical mermaid. All the story bits play out the same as the original tale until the end. Instead of stabbing herself and turning into foam, she stabs the prince and his new wife and baths in their blood. Stealing their souls and returning to her true form in the sea. I’m always down for monster girls, and they build up more of the sea girl’s kingdom and lore which is an interesting perspective. It relates to the theme as the girl and prince don’t seem to view each other as individuals. She lays claim to him and decides he’s hers while he knows nothing. Then when she turns human, he doesn’t try and know her as a person, just a silent trophy until he is married. All in all, a good start to the book 3.5/5.  

The Thankless Child (sources: Cinderella, King Lear, The ladder of Divine Ascent, Lorica of St. Patrick, The Divine Praises, and Psalm 139)  

                This is the first instance of the odd gender naming choices. It could be something lost in translation, and it isn’t too distracting here, and also adds to some backstory of this world the tale takes place in. The girls have masculine to gender neutral names (Paul, Robin, and Gomer) and discuss wanting to get “wives”. Which they mean men. It is implied in the story that women are expected to do hard work.  

                The God Mother acts as the main antagonist, trying to guilt Paul into obedience and love over their passed mother; withholding food and giving out extra work while complaining Paul won’t let her love them. The God Mother seems to have them worship salt as God. It’s a bit confusing, but the theme is kept that Paul is forced to drink salt water to not be punished. This story seems to abruptly end to the point I thought my ADHD brain made me miss two pages, but no. It suddenly cuts to her living with the priest’s son as his husband who is caring and keeping house. Very odd, kind of weird paced, 2/5.  

Fear Not: An Incident Log (sources: the Book of Genesis)   

                To start off I was shocked when the source ended up being the book of Genesis. I guess it does have a “fear of God” aspect and the results of following without thinking. However, I found this one to be the least interesting and had to reread the chapter a few times to even remember it. Very slow and not for me. 1/5  

The Six-Boy Coffins (Sources: The Six Swans, and The Twelve Brothers  

                I love/hate this story. It was interesting and kept my attention, but I didn’t like it for whatever reason. I get the references they are pulling from, but I just didn’t like it. That isn’t to say it isn’t well written. The mom and dad (king and queen) are absolutely in the wrong to their kids, where the king thinks the sons are too much trouble and just wants to kill the them once he has a daughter and the mom lets the daughter know at every possible moment that her being alive makes her life worse and that she should never have been born. The boys live in the woods to escape their father, learning to be self-reliant and harboring a resentment that they think is toward their sister. When they meet when she is seven (she wanted them to come home and know them, her mother told her it was her fault they left) they instead love her, and they all live in the woods together. A few years go by (why did the king not send anyone to look for his daughter he wanted so badly by the way) and she sees white lily’s growing in the yard. At no point were lilies ever mentioned up to this point, so the reader ends up just as shocked when she decided to pick them for her brothers, but then they turn into swans?  

                She has a dream about her mother telling her she is a worthless failure for picking flowers she shouldn’t have (hello? at this point she is twelve-year-old girl? And again, the flowers are NEVER MENTIONED). She says to turn her brothers back she needs to suffer more than all of them plus their mother combined. She is tasked to stay absolutely silent for 7 years while making shirts out of thistle needles for each brother, and she needs to finish them by the seven years. About halfway through the “punishment” a king from a different kingdom finds her and because she can’t speak just decides to marry her without any input from her at all. He tries to stop her from making the clothes and she forces herself to have abortions, so she doesn’t have to think of anything but her goal. At the 7 year mark the king decides she is a failure (from what he believes are miscarriages) and decides to burn her at the stake. At the last minute she flings her shirts onto her swan brothers, and they come out and burn the king for hurting their sister. Story fits the theme, kept my attention, and made me angry at everyone involved. 4/5  

The Rabbit (source: The Velveteen Rabbit)  

This one is odd, and unsettling. A toy rabbit that has been neglected wants to become real. When a boy’s nanny can’t find his usual bedtime toy, she gives him the rabbit. The rabbit is filled with so much hate. They tell this boy horrible things about how they’re their only friend and that he’s worthless. The rabbit starts saying he “loves” the boy as the boy becomes sicker and sicker. The rabbit starts becoming nicer looking and beginning to feel “real” through the boy’s suffering. The boy becomes absolutely dependent on the rabbit or freaks out if they are separated. Once the boy finally dies the parents decide to burn all his possessions and as they try to burn the rabbit it grows legs and hops away. The idea that someone who is supposed to bring you comfort and love and is using you and actively hurting you just triggers a pain in me. This rabbit is so focused on themself and enjoys the boy being hurt. Just oof. 3.5/5  

The Merry Spinster (sources: Beauty and the Beast)  

                The namesake of the book, the story follows closer to the original fairy tale than the Disney version. It’s a bit loose at first to make the connection, but then it starts making more sense. I don’t know why her family treated her so bad for *reads notes* doing all the housework and cooking, then spending her downtime reading instead of spending ridiculous amounts of money on flashy things. They even call her Beauty because she is so plain and not great looking? The book makes it a more modern retell with a mom going to get back their fortune and the kids asking for different things. The brother (Sylvia, who is the worst) wants a car, sister (Catherine) wants jewels, and beauty wants a single rose.   

                Mom stops in the middle of the night on the way back at an old mansion with food laid out that she just starts eating like that is a normal thing to do when breaking and entering. She notices a rose garden and decides to pick one, so add theft to the crime list of this lady. That is when the Beast shows themself (but is never described other than “beastly” so not sure how much of an actual “beast” he is or if he’s just a giant horrid person. Hard to tell with this book sometimes) and demands payment for the flower. Mom offers up Beauty, and the Beast accepts. Beauty happily goes, much to her family’s rejection (finally realized y’all will have to do the chores now?) and the Beast welcomes her with food and a library full of books she can’t read due to…a spell? It’s never quite stated. The Beast says she can have everything if she marries him. She declines. He continues asking becoming angrier each time and she still says no and that she doesn’t want to be married. The beast takes the mansion’s pleasures and then says if she doesn’t marry him he will die.  

Well, he does die. Then Beauty goes home.  

                What an odd retelling. It fits the theme (abusive family to abusive household) and Beauty’s wants are always told are weird, ugly, and not normal. It’s just so jarring, I guess there are people who act like that, but with the family it seemed a bit much. I could understand the Beast parts giving her a hard time as that is the more fairytale part, but man they just don’t let women live their life the way they want in this world. Dragged on a bit in the beginning and end, but overall alright. 3/5  

The Wedding Party (source: the Goose Girl, The Earl of Mar’s Daughter, and the Daemon  Lover)  

                I liked this one and the banter reminded me of how my fiancé and I talk to each other. This story closest follows the “Daemon Lover” ballad, specifically “A Warning for Married Women”, but instead of an ex-lover it’s a toxic friend. The boy and girl spend most of the chapter playfully teasing each other and talking about their wedding in two days. It is building up what is clearly a stable and happy relationship. The groom continues bringing up the bride’s friend Tess, who he dislikes. He doesn’t think that friend does enough for the wife and that she should be more giving with her wealth to her best friend. The bride plays this off as not a concern and that she loves him and nothing will change that.  

                While waiting at the rehearsal dinner location, the bride seems to be becoming more sporadic and unable to stop telling jokes and defending Tess to have a real conversation with her to be husband about his concerns. They see Tess in the window and the bride goes out to talk to her, saying that he never likes Tess and that he looks like he has been fighting about her, so she wants to calm Tess down herself. However, the bride never returns. He waits in the rehearsal hall as he hears voices get quieter.   

                I feel this is supposed to be how people who are abused tend to go back to their abuser regardless of how happy they may be in a new circumstance, it’s something you seen in DV cases and you always question “But they treat you so bad, why do you keep going back?” It’s easy, and stress can make you make bad decisions. I can understand it. Good Story, fun dialogue, downer ending. 3.5/5.  

Some of Us had Been Threatening Our Friend Mr. Toad (sources: the Wind in the Willows and Some of Us had Been Threatening our Friend Colby)  

                This one was by and far my favorite. It was so creepy and deeply hurtful and my only complaint is it ends rather abruptly. The way the animals spoke to Toad hit a little too close to home to how my parents and some family members talked to me. This story follows the basic plot points of “The Wind in the Willows” except this time the animals don’t really care about Toad’s safety. They continually gaslight him in the very next sentence, making him feel like he doesn’t matter and is a bad person. They lie to make Toad feel more dependent on them, and the beginning (which is actually the ending) feels so much worse with the context of the “Threatening Colby” story, as what was implied becomes more obvious knowing that story. They are just so cruel, and you just feel a deep pit in your stomach for poor Mr. Toad. In the original he became humbled and a better friend, in this version he is likely killed by his cult like “friends” who believe they own him as their friend. I wish it was just so slightly longer and it made me feel like garbage. 4.5/5  

Cast Your Bread Upon the Waters (source: Johnny Croy and his Mermaid Bride)  

This story was so interesting, it is told from the perspective of a deeply religious mother who continually says her son is beautiful, but dumb. He does do dumb things to win his “dream” girl, a woman the mom describes as evil and a monster. It’s hard to tell if the girl is a sea monster or the mother is just ridiculous about who her son is with. She never grows to care for her daughter in law, and when she wants to take her family back to her home (the sea) this crazy ass lady drugs her grandkids, brands them with a cross, cuts her son’s hand off and takes out his eye, stabs the girl multiple times and sends her and her son out to see on an old boat. She keeps the grandkids even as the girl begs for her kids. 

This woman would be a top post on r/JUSTNOMIL. The story is an allegory towards indoctrinating family into a person’s own religious ideals and rejecting anything else as sinful, leading them to do horrible things in the name of “saving” people. I could easily see this being a fundamentalist mother not approving of her son marrying someone of a different religion, the way it’s told you just wonder what the hell is wrong with this lady? Stayed focus, very clear, and interesting. Makes me love my MIL more. 4/5. 

The Frog’s Princess (source: The Princess and the Frog/Frog Prince) 

This story has the most confusing language when it comes to gendered speak it is distracting from the story itself. The youngest daughter and her siblings are referred to as “he/him” throughout the story with no real explanation why. The only she pronoun used is for the sun. While I’m all for challenging gender norms this just comes off as an accident or just distracting. My only theory it’s supposed to be that the daughter belongs only to men (which is stated a few times that being beautiful means other people get to own you and it is your own fault if you don’t like it) so they don’t get their own identity outside of their father? The story is exactly the princess and the frog but the frog never turns human they just stay a frog. Still throws the nasty thing. Frog comes off gross in this and not sympathetic, which could be relating to someone being assaulted and being forced to be with that person by family no matter how bad they are. Overall, I found this story confusing and just not transformed as much as the other stories. I can kind of see what they’re trying to do, but I don’t feel it was executed well. 2/5. 

Good Fences Make Good Neighbors (source: The Fisherman and his Wife, and Frog and Toad are Friends) 

The final story really hammers home that theme of abusive relationships. A retelling of a “fisherman and his wife” but the fisherman’s partner is just referred to as a friend with gender neutral pronouns. Like in the story they want more and more, but in this they are constantly guilt tripping the fisherman. Making them feel like their partner is the only one contributing to the relationship when really all they have done is make demands and complaints. I mean, they can’t even give their sick partner some tea without making a huge deal out of sacrificing and being selfless to the “selfish” fisherman. The fish at the end rightfully calls this out, but in response the fisherman fucking fillets this magic fish and absolutely murders the shit out of the thing that has done nothing but give. The ending was a surprise for me. I know the book seemed to center themes around abusive people in our lives, but to end it with such a rejection of help and continued hurting because your feel worthless without the person who made you feel that way...ouch. I hated the partner 4/5. 

Final Thoughts Overall 

This book was such a mixed bag for me, which is the nature of anthology books. Sometimes you get absolute gems, but then the next chapter will be a slog to get through. While overall the book is an interesting look at the damage generational trauma, verbal and emotional abuse inflict seemingly long term, some writing choices just made the point distracting. I feel like writing about each individual story and looking back made me take in smaller details I didn’t think about before, going back knowing the theme makes the stories seem like more than what they are on the surface. It’s short and can be read in about 1-2 days. Overall rating 3/5. 

[zarpasuave]

Ok I realised I need to expand on this.

Slight reference to Boothill’s stories ahead‼️‼️

Basically think of Princess Robin as naive young Giselle living in a palace in Penacony, the land of dreams (Andalasia equivalent) singing for a knight to come give her a true love’s kiss.

Then cue Argenti as Edward, a knight in love with the idea of love. Looking to rescue a princess and having a true love’s kiss.

Shenanigans ensue, they find each other, decide to get married straight away, blah blah blah, you know how the story goes.

But someone isn’t happy with the arrangement. Who? King Sunday (the evil queen/stepmother). He had spent the better half of his life protecting Robin from the dross of the world, ensuring everything in the kingdom was nothing short of perfect. The last thing he wants is some random knight marrying his sister.

So he devises a plan to send Argenti far far away to the horrible land of “reality” by having him pushed into a magical fountain on the day of the wedding.

Sunday’s plan goes awry as, just as Argenti was going to get pushed into the fountain, Robin shoves him away, falling into the fountain in his place.

Robin gets transported to reality (which tbh I’m tempted to keep it as New York). She wanders around confusedly because this place is nothing like Penacony.

She eventually gets found by Boothill’s daughter (the Morgan of this au) who is convinced she is a real angel. She tells Robin that her dad can probably help her because he’s an expert at helping people who need help.

So finally she meets Boothill (Robert ofc) a man who’s extremely down to earth due to past experiences crushing his view of the world. He wants nothing to do with this land of dreams mess Robin speaks of… But he can’t say no to his daughter so they take her in.

In the meantime, Argenti tells Sunday what happened. He is rightfully furious. So he decides to go find Robin, and Argenti ofc tags along. So they head into reality together.

As an equivalent of the poisoned apple plot line I was thinking of Sunday trying to come up with convoluted ways to make sure Argenti doesn’t come back to Penacony once they find Robin.

The story goes on w Robin and Boothill falling in love (perhaps over the course of a month instead of two days) whilst the other two get into shenanigans trying to find her.

Haven’t figured the other beats of the story yet, but I think the finale should have them at the ball as a sort of goodbye before everyone returns to their respective lives where Sunday reveals his intention to get rid of anyone who wants to be with his sister (maybe he turns into a seraphim instead of a dragon). Then there’s a small battle where Robin tells Sunday how she’s much happier with freedom and that getting hurt is a normal part of life and he should accept change in his world. Sunday understands this and stops attacking everybody.

By this point it’s clear Robin and Boothill are more in love than Argenti and her ever were which Argenti completely understands and bids them happiness and farewell as he returns to Penacony with Sunday.

Then they kiss and live happily ever after yayyy.

Thinking of Robinhill Enchanted AU

[sleepy-waffle]

Might wright or draw a medieval/fantasy au with stardew valley

[strawberryspence]

This AU is going to come in a few parts, just a heads up!

When Steve is told he is being married off it's not a surprise at first. He's not surprised, he's prince after all and he had always known he would be married off to some princess to strengthen a allegiance with a neighboring kingdom. What is surprising is that he is not, infact, being married off to a princess, but instead a vampire lord. He, a mere human, is being married off to a creature that survives off feasting on the living. The rush of blood in his ears drowns out the explanation his father is giving him, though he can hear the dull words explain something about a peace offering and subjects being left alone.

He's carted off with no fanfare, just the pitying eyes of his people as they watch his carriage leave the kingdom. Of course the King and Queen wouldn't be coming with him. His mother offered him excuses with bored, dull eyes. He was the sacrificial lamb being lead to the slaughter and the people would forever be grateful. It was easier to come to terms with giving up his life and freedom for the safety of his people than he thought it would be, better they live their lives in peace. It was a sacrifice he would have made any day, even if it crushed his heart and this marriage would likely end in his death. He was to be married to a vampire after all, what good was a mortal to an imortal creature save for conveniet meals.

When he arrived, two weeks later, it was night. The moon and stars were hidden away by thick clouds leaving the torches from the carriage to light their way. Even then, their warm light struggled to fight back the darkness that wanted to devour them. Devour him. Just as his soon to be husband was sure to do.

The servants that had come with him abandoned him at the gates of Lord Munson's castle and Steve swallowed thickly as he stared up at the ominous towers as he listened to the carriage retreat behind him, a "poor bastard" muttered under the servant's breaths.

Steeling himself, Steve made his way to the door, which opened before him. A head popped around and he laughed at himself for jumping.

"Ha, did you think the door was going to open on its own?" The young woman asked, he learned her name was Robin, as she continued on before he could answer. "You have no idea how many people think that this place is haunted. No, there are actually staff here." Her rambling puts him at ease as she guides him inside. "So, it's late, Eddie- I mean, Lord Munson had dinner taken up to your chambers. He says he'll meet you tomorrow," she explained, pushing open a door to reveal a rather luxurious room. A large bed with thick furs lined one wall and the rest of the space was filled with just as ornate furniture but what caught Steve's attention were the shelves of books that lined the walls. He was going to ask Robin about them but the energetic young woman was already gone, having closed the door behind him with a "Enjoy your dinner. Sleep well, I'll see you in the morning!"

Steve sat at the table, looking at the rich stew that was still steaming, and sighed. Now that he was here, it was much more difficult to not pity himself. He thought of what would happen to him, thinking on what lore he knew of vampires. Would he end up a mindless thrall, robbed of everything he was? Would this Lord Munson keep him alive for easy meals or would his life force be drained in one go? Would he be turned himself?

The thoughts made him uneasy and Steve pushed the stew away, feeling nerves roll in his stomach. "To hell with this," he muttered, standing abruptly from his seat. The prince never did well with the unknown, nor did he like to let fear fester. He would get his own answers by finding this elusive and rude Lord Munson. What kind of husband to be didn't even bother greeting his intended after their journey to a new home?! Or introduce himself!

Working himself up to rightous indignation, the pretty prince stormed over to the door, yanking it open before crashing into a rather solid body and hearing a deep purr.

"Hello there darling."

IKKKKKKKKKKKKK IM BLUSHING SO HARD THIS IS PERFECT AND I AM SO READY FOR THE NEXT PART?????? BOBA I LOVE THIS.

[ofgentleresolve]

headcanons on each of ur muses if they were disney princesses? 👀

@interxstitial || is asking all the right questions here 👀 ( unprompted. )

interesting question here!! okay, so:

mana

you know b*elle from beauty and the b*east?

yeah that's her, except like 10x more engrossed in her books and 10x icier

the men in her tiny town know her to be an ice queen and they try to woo her- except they all get turned down without mercy

i guess this would mean calum would be the beast in this case...so i guess a beast who looks monstrous but is actually a timid sweetheart who is also intimidated by her attitude...except he has a library so he gives her access on the first day

mana develops a soft spot...and is probably actively looks for a way to break his curse

raphael

he keeps sneaking down into the kitchen to cook meals when he should be studying

mom is exasperated since he's supposed to be taking over the position of the kingdom's ruler since dad died.

if raphael could have it his way though, he would be traveling instead as a chef, not tying himself to the throne.

*cue run away sequence*

lam

this royal prince is rumored to be guarded by fearsome beasts and poisonous plants after a betrayal from one of his closest confidantes.

they say that if you can get past all of them, you'll be rewarded with a great treasure...

okay so in actuality, he planted those plants and the beasts came on their own...they're actually quite nice if you're civil as well

spends most of his days sleeping, reading and taking care of the plants...some of them are carnivorous.

there's only one person who's gotten past these obstacles and that's the wandering chef who came in looking not for the treasure but for interesting ingredients. lam let him stay because he makes good food.

yoojin

the closest analogy i can get is to snow white minus the biting into a poisoned apple.

a runaway prince in this version after he was cursed by the bonghwang...the history books say he perished in an uprising.

although there have been rumors...people whisper that there’s a boy with hair the color of gold who roams the land, goes where the wind goes...

if you look around his neck, he has a pendant with the royal insignia of a fallen kingdom

can probably communicate with animals too, it’s how he gets his news

patrick

a very competent ruler...although people may argue that he is not the legitimate heir as he is not the blood child of the previous king and queen

the previous king and queen made it law though ( and all dissenters will be beheaded- just kidding! ) and now patrick is continuing the law by adopting his own pair of children :’D

he was previously engaged, but she passed in a freak fire...there have been marriage proposals tossed his way, but he’s turned all of them down with the excuse of taking care of the kingdom comes first

okay so he might have his eye on say a certain someone ( *coughcough* hyuk where u at ) who he’s known probably all his life and let’s not mention that everyone in the kingdom except for him and this individual has known about this for years and there are betting rings on when they’ll be getting together JFKLSDJF

myungdae

wasn’t going to include this initially but...after the death of his fiancee, he fakes his death after he stumbling in on a conspiracy plan to destroy his kingdom

if he can’t save it as its ruler then he’ll do it from the shadows ( aka robin hood style )- take the fight to them

five years later in the kingdom where the conspirators are located, he’s having second thoughts about well, everything...not to mention there’s also a avoiding a certain someone ( *coughcough you know who you are* )

uses his position to take down the conspirators but also the corrupt officials in the system- still super paranoid though :/

ga-ram

this royal became an advisor/right hand after his family was wrongfully massacred

i wouldn’t call them a disney princess so much as....an anime protagonist aka SUPER RECKLESS, will throw the first punch in the face of injustice :’D

currently serves a royal with a questionable background....but they’re working with him to take down the other royals who are caught up in this corrupt, corrupt system

would they go back to revive their fallen house?? probably not since they know they’ve committed crimes unbecoming of a royal

[thegoodfellow]

chancellorxlaer​:

zahryaofspring​:

who?: any bitches (eladrin or whatever) still alive i can’t keep track anymore where?: their hellhole (the forest) right on top of that corpse I’m done

✿*° ‘° ･

He was there, he was right there screaming for his King, but he was helpless. Too tired to move or act fast enough, it was his heartache that twisted the trees to strike on his behalf. But even they were too slow, spearing wispy shadows instead of his greatest foes. He caught his King’s body before it could hit the ground, shakily singing every song of Spring he could think of. He smashed a blood fruit into the cavernous hole of his chest, pumped ichor straight from his flowers until they withered, and wailed his useless tunes in every key he knew. Nothing worked, his King was gone, and once again he was powerless to make anything better.

“Do something! He can’t be gone. Why didn’t you … do something! Worthless cowards. Fools and cowards I hate you! I need him. We need him…” He directs his words at the fractured remnants of the eladrin race, all those who bore witness as he feels and wavers between all five stages of grief at once. Eventually, all he can do is sob, his thunderous pain reverberating throughout the forest while the Black Wind’s cruel laughter reverberates in his skull.

-

In an effort to preserve what remained of the King’s dignity, Laer sung a song while the rest of the kingdom looked on. Lifted the body away from Zahrya as it was bandaged and glamoured so the ichor that still spilled from Mery’s body would not stain through. “Get up, Zahrya.” Laer said as curtly as he could manage. Loss defined them at every turn. Their Queen, their home, and now the heir that had risen so sharply in such a short amount of time. 

“Sometimes it feels like the Gods are laughing at us,” Laer whispered, though through a warm breeze his voice was carried across the company and the crowd. Some of their greatest defenders were gone while the city had been thrown into hedonistic, debaucherous turmoil. Laer felt grief, hatred, and anguish wrapped into one as his patience for this realm ended entirely. The mortals and the drow, these long standing feuds that had chipped away at them relentlessly. “King Meryasek is dead,” the chancellor announced as he roughly hauled Zahrya to his feet, “but your chancellorship remains, reinforce the boundaries, expel any intruders.” He looked towards the bandaged body of the King he’d watched rise from toddler to manhood, the bright and inquisitive mind that had held so much promise. 

Another fey life taken, another drow for Ayi’ig’s army. He looked away from the body because he couldn’t stare at it any longer. 

“Count the dead, we bury them within the week.” The chancellors would convene and retribution would be swift. 

....

There is a weight that comes with being the survivor of a tragedy, to bear witness to your world falling apart from the seams even as you attempt to keep it together. Robin is too far to stop the Drow Queen, too far to do anything but watch as the Court’s suffer yet another blow, one she does not know how they will recover from. Titania, their home, Fen’harel, Aurora and now Meryasek? It has been blow after blow, no break in between. It’s been a long arduous year, a year full of grief and loss, and they seem to keep losing no matter what they attempt. It is far too much grief, far too much misery, bottled and kept inside for too long for her to be able to keep a hold of it any longer. The vessel on her chest, the one where she keeps all her worries and grief and empathy, shatters under the pressure of seeing the corpse of yet another friend, of another loved one, before her. The first crack had appeared in Halloween, deepened further by Wade’s betrayal, but this, for Hyrsam to ensure that his King’s funeral would also becomes Meryasek’s? Over and over again, she had considered peace, had considered unity between species as a solution to their current conflicts.

No more.

The world had turned their back to the fey, it’s only fair they do the same. Anger bypasses grief, her song joining Laer’s in order to keep the pretense of an united front before their people and their enemies alike. Flames gather around them, the fire preventing anyone but the chancellor’s from reaching their fallen King. As she steps closer, Robin allows herself a brief moment to grieve for who they had lost, to grieve for her friend, gone where they could not follow after doing his all to protect their people. He had risen beyond any of the expectations placed on him, and his death was yet another injustice struck against the fey.

Alas, death takes kings and paupers alike.

Eyes snapping open, Robin let’s out a whistle, high and sharp, and sends her own changeling to reinforce the borders as a precaution. Zahrya will do his duty, but any help will be a kindness for the Spring Chancellor.

“Do not stand around, we cannot afford to remain frozen,” Robin snaps out, voice sharp and cutting through the grief beginning to overwhelm the court. “Gather the children, ensure they are kept safe, place the death together and notify next of kin. Now.”

Eyes going back to Zahrya, she bites her lip and tentatively places her hand upon his shoulder in comfort. There had been a tension between the two since that conversation near the pond, but there cannot be infighting if they want to survive, weakened as they are. “Not now Zahrya,” she offers, voice soft yet kind. “We will have our time for grieve later, but now? Now we must ensure that Meryasek’s work does not go to waste.”

zahryaofspring​:

who?: any bitches (eladrin or whatever) still alive i can’t keep track anymore where?: their hellhole (the forest) right on top of that corpse I’m done

✿*° ‘° ･

He was there, he was right there screaming for his King, but he was helpless. Too tired to move or act fast enough, it was his heartache that twisted the trees to strike on his behalf. But even they were too slow, spearing wispy shadows instead of his greatest foes. He caught his King’s body before it could hit the ground, shakily singing every song of Spring he could think of. He smashed a blood fruit into the cavernous hole of his chest, pumped ichor straight from his flowers until they withered, and wailed his useless tunes in every key he knew. Nothing worked, his King was gone, and once again he was powerless to make anything better.

“Do something! He can’t be gone. Why didn’t you … do something! Worthless cowards. Fools and cowards I hate you! I need him. We need him…” He directs his words at the fractured remnants of the eladrin race, all those who bore witness as he feels and wavers between all five stages of grief at once. Eventually, all he can do is sob, his thunderous pain reverberating throughout the forest while the Black Wind’s cruel laughter reverberates in his skull.

-

In an effort to preserve what remained of the King’s dignity, Laer sung a song while the rest of the kingdom looked on. Lifted the body away from Zahrya as it was bandaged and glamoured so the ichor that still spilled from Mery’s body would not stain through. “Get up, Zahrya.” Laer said as curtly as he could manage. Loss defined them at every turn. Their Queen, their home, and now the heir that had risen so sharply in such a short amount of time. 

“Sometimes it feels like the Gods are laughing at us,” Laer whispered, though through a warm breeze his voice was carried across the company and the crowd. Some of their greatest defenders were gone while the city had been thrown into hedonistic, debaucherous turmoil. Laer felt grief, hatred, and anguish wrapped into one as his patience for this realm ended entirely. The mortals and the drow, these long standing feuds that had chipped away at them relentlessly. “King Meryasek is dead,” the chancellor announced as he roughly hauled Zahrya to his feet, “but your chancellorship remains, reinforce the boundaries, expel any intruders.” He looked towards the bandaged body of the King he’d watched rise from toddler to manhood, the bright and inquisitive mind that had held so much promise. 

Another fey life taken, another drow for Ayi’ig’s army. He looked away from the body because he couldn’t stare at it any longer. 

“Count the dead, we bury them within the week.” The chancellors would convene and retribution would be swift.