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wingedblooms · 2 years ago

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Hidden depths

We know that flowers, and in particular roses, are associated with Elain. Sarah has referred to Elain as a rose bloom in a mud field, a blooming flower in an army camp, and a bloom of color and sunshine even in winter. She embodies light and beauty and color, and has been admired (and hated) for that trait, which her own mother encouraged and belittled:

Elain is pleasant to look at, her mother had once mused while Nesta sat beside her dressing table, a servant silently brushing her mother’s gold-brown hair, but she has no ambition. She does not dream beyond her garden and pretty clothes.

But roses have layers. And that is what makes the rose symbolism in ACOSF even more important compared to what we have previously seen: the carved rose and rose amulet have hidden depths. Secrets that need to be uncovered. Sarah uses both gifts to suggest that there is more to our hopeful seer than meets the eye.

The Carved Rose

After reviewing the chapters around each bonus scene, I realized the carved rose’s appearance actually mirrors Elain’s change over the course of solstice. This may be another hint for her connection to the goddess of fate in CC, whose image remains elusive because she takes too many forms to capture. It certainly seems no coincidence that those we have met with the power of sight, and those who work in intelligence, also take on different forms or change their appearance. I have speculated that Elain’s dogged inquiry of Amren’s ability to change her form might foreshadow her own ability to change form. @kimsnnn noticed that this scene parallels another with Amren and Nesta. In that scene, Nesta pointedly asked about Amren’s silver eyes before we see silver flames surface in her own gaze, and in response, Amren predicts Nesta’s magical eruption at the end of the blood rite. So, there’s a decent chance Elain can change her appearance. In response to her questions, Amren says there’s no going back to being human. But returning to her human life does not make sense at this point, so could there be a different meaning? Might Elain go back in a different way? To a time to when a clever, human warrior lived instead? That would fulfill my wildest seer dreams. Regardless of what happens, I believe the solstice sequence leading up to Azriel’s bonus chapter intentionally hints Elain’s (half-)hidden gifts:

In Chapter 55, Nesta returns to the cottage and finds the rose Papa Archeron carved for Elain on the mantel:

She plucked another figurine from the mantel: a rose carved from a dark sort of wood. She held it in her palm, its solid weight surprising, and traced a finger over one of the petals. “He made this one for Elain. Since it was winter and she missed the flowers.”

Then, in Chapter 56, Nesta draws our attention back to Elain’s rose when she faces the traumatic memory fire conjures of her father’s death. She describes its appearance, half-hidden in shadows and made of a dark wood, and proximity to a primal goddess, who Nesta suspects is the Mother.

It was a fire. Not her father’s neck. Her gaze shifted to the carved wooden rose she’d placed upon the mantel, half-hidden in the shadows beside a figurine of a supple-bodied female, her upraised arms clasping a full moon between them. Some sort of primal goddess—perhaps even the Mother herself. Nesta hadn’t let herself dwell on why she’d felt the need to set the rose there. Why she hadn’t just thrown it in a drawer. Another log cracked, and Nesta flinched. But she remained sitting there. Staring at that carved rose.

So how does this appearance and proximity apply to Elain? Let’s take a look at the next two chapters. In Chapter 57, Sarah first shows us what Elain’s dark side looks like when she wears black and is overshadowed by Nesta:

Elain in black was ridiculous. Yes, she was beautiful, but the color of her long-sleeved, modest gown leeched the brightness from her face. It wore her, rather than the other way around. And he knew the cruelty of the Hewn City troubled her. But she hadn’t hesitated to come. When Feyre had offered to let her remain home, Elain had squared her shoulders and declared that she was a part of this court—and would do whatever was needed. So Elain had let her golden-brown hair down tonight, and pinned it back with twin combs of pearl. He’d never once in the two years he’d known her found Elain to be plain, but wearing black, no matter how much she claimed to be part of this court … It sucked the life from her.

As @thesistersarcheron mentioned in her post, Elain’s dark appearance in the Court of Nightmares (CoN) seems purposefully plain and modest. It lacks the vibrancy we’ve come to associate with her immortal appearance. Is it the clothing, jewelry, lighting, or some magic she possesses? She was the one who admiringly recalled in detail how Nesta used clothing and jewelry to lure a wealthy man away from someone who snubbed her sister. Without that recounting, this entire strategy wouldn’t exist. It intentionally makes us wonder, as it is meant to, about her abrupt change in appearance. Is it possible she borrowed her own sister’s strategy? After all, what good is keen observation if you don’t learn from the behavior of others? And, most importantly, it works: Eris remarks on how Elain, renowned for being the most beautiful sister, is outshined by Nesta. Even the setting is perfect for this strategy since the CoN served as a dark and terrifying facade of the Night Court for centuries to hide the secret, lovely beauty of Velaris.

It’s also important to remember that Elain has experience using her appearance to influence, or mislead, others. She is not afraid of getting her hands dirty for a pretty result, as Rhysand mused in his bonus chapter earlier. In ACOWAR, for example, she also did what was necessary to protect and save humans: she insisted on being the one to convince Graysen to give them sanctuary, given their familiarity, and even proposed a human glamour to ensure he would still listen to and trust her. He loathes the fae, so this strategy made sense and may have worked had Jurian not blown her cover ahead of time. Why is this glamour significant? It dims her immortal glow and makes her appear drab, muted, and ordinary, much like her appearance in the CoN. In fact, Sarah even uses some of the same phrasing:

Gone was the faint glow of immortal health; the face that had become a bit sharper. Gone were the pointed ears, the grace. Muted. Drab—or in the way that someone as beautiful as Elain could be drab. Even her hair seemed to have lost its luster, the gold now brassy, the brown mousy. Elain studied her hands, turning them over. “I hadn’t realized … how ordinary it looked.”

In the very next chapter (58), Sarah draws our attention to Elain’s appearance again as she glows with her usual immortality on solstice in Velaris, home to the Court of Dreams:

“You came,” Elain said behind her, and Nesta started, not having heard her sister approach. She scanned Elain from head to toe, wondering if she’d been taking lessons in stealth either from Azriel or the two half-wraiths she called friends. Gone was the ill-suited black dress from the ball, replaced by a gown of amethyst velvet, her hair half-up and curling down to her waist. She glowed with good health.

Nesta is surprised by Elain’s sudden appearance (again) and scans her from head to toe, as though she can unearth her secrets. Could it be that she is taking lessons in stealth from Azriel or her friends? What has she been doing all this time, in the shadows?

Curiously, she isn’t the first sister to look at Elain in surprise and wonder. In ACOFAS, Feyre and Elain are shopping for solstice, and wisely sensing her sister’s discomfort, Elain helps reframe their task:

“It’s their tradition, though,” Elain countered, her face still flushed with the cold. “One that they fought and died to protect in the war. Perhaps that’s the better way to think of it, rather than feeling guilty. To remember that this day means something to them. All of them, regardless of who has more, who has less, and in celebrating the traditions, even through the presents, we honor those who fought for its very existence, for the peace this city now has.”

For a moment, I just stared at my sister, the wisdom she’d spoken. Not a whisper of those oracular abilities. Just clear eyes and an open expression.

Leveraging her keen observation and long memory, Elain offers timely insight to Feyre and helps her overcome the discomfort she feels about buying gifts when there isn’t a dire need to do so. Surprised by her sister’s wisdom, she looks at her closely. How did she know exactly what to say and when to say it? Did those oracular gifts still exist? There was no whisper of them. Through this exchange, we also learn that gifting means something to Elain. It’s not just about giving and getting more stuff. Her gifts are always useful and chosen just for the receiver, subtly revealing just how much she sees and cares. They spread beauty and joy and hope even in the bleakest of moments.

In the next book, we find out that her gifts from the Cauldron—whatever they are—remain intact, and we see Elain’s keen observation and vivid memory quietly help her other sister. She provides timely insight (again) to Rhysand and Cassian, which in turn brings Nesta joy and beauty and hope on solstice. Neither the CoN scene, where she dances to her heart’s content, nor the musical gift, which gives her endless music at her fingertips, would have happened without her sister’s insight. Our lovely seer sees and understands more than people realize.

I believe it is significant that this parallel of sisterly surprise occurs during the events of solstice both times. First, in a scene where Elain and Feyre learn about the threads of Void and Hope…

“I call it Void. It absorbs the light. Creates a complete lack of color.”

“You made it?” Elain asked, now staring over her shoulder toward the tapestry.

A solemn nod. “A newer experiment of mine. To see how darkness might be made, woven. To see if I could take it farther, deeper than any weaver has before.”

“The silver thread,” Elain asked. “What is that called?”

The weaver paused the loom again, the colorful strings vibrating. She held my sister’s gaze. No attempt at a smile this time. “I call it Hope.” The weaver explained to my sister, “I made it after I mastered Void.”

I stared and stared at the black fabric that was like peering into a pit of hell.

And then stared at the iridescent, living silver thread that cut through it, bright despite the darkness that devoured all other light and color.

…and then again in a solstice sequence where Elain reflects Void and Hope in her appearance, leeched of brightness in the Court of Nightmares and glowing with immortality in the Court of Dreams. Is it a coincidence that, unlike Elain, Nesta glows brightly in a court associated with nightmares? It’s possible that the silver thread embroidering Nesta’s dress is more than a mere thread. And wasn’t it Amren who suggested Nesta would create not a Dread Trove, but a Trove of Nightmares with her powers? On the other side of the coin, Elain is associated with a sleeping garden. Would her powers therefore create a Trove of Dreams? The Night Court, and the High Lord himself of course, embodies both nightmares and dreams.

My friends and I have talked about the Void and Hope scene often and @silverlinedeyes even wrote a post about Elain wearing or using Void in her story. After learning about these threads and what they symbolized, did she learn how to harness Void (darkness) and Hope (iridescent light) in her appearance? How far/deep can she take it? Is it connected to her murky realm, like I have theorized, which links her to the Cauldron and grants her access to Void? Will she use the Void to peer into Hel and create Hope by securing allies, like Aidas and others? I believe that’s exactly what she’s going to do and it’s interesting that there are potential hints (in blue above) for it in the Void and Hope scene.

When she glows on the darkest and longest night of the year, Elain is bright despite the darkness in color. She has developed a particular habit of wearing amethyst on solstice, so I did some investigating. Amethyst is a calming color that is associated with the gemstone. It can change color when exposed to the light (interesting), and appear warm (red) or cool (blue) as well as light or dark. The gemstone is believed to have protective and healing properties. Some even believe it can connect wearers to the divine and produce more soothing dreams, as well as lead to greater understanding and peace. A fitting color for a seer who is connected to gods, shifting, knowledge, and renewal in the Court of Dreams, no?

The Rose Amulet

The solstice sequence leads to Azriel’s bonus chapter, where he gives her a rose amulet (historically used for help/protection) that is strikingly similar to the carved rose and Void and Hope:

The golden necklace seemed ordinary—its chain unremarkable, the amulet tiny enough that it could be dismissed as an everyday charm. It was a small, flat rose fashioned of stained glass, designed so that when held to the light, the true depth of colors would become visible. A thing of secret, lovely beauty.

“It’s beautiful,” she whispered, lifting it from the box. The golden faelight shone through the little glass facets, setting the charm glowing with hues of red and pink and white. Azriel let his shadows whisk away the box as she said softly, “Put it on me?”

Soft steps padded from under the stair archway, and there she was. The faelight gilded Elain’s unbound hair, making her glow like the sun at dawn.

Elain’s appearance and behavior parallels both the rose amulet and carved rose. As a gift, this rose sends a clear message: Azriel knows there is more to Elain than meets the eye. He knows she has hidden depths, and that acknowledgement may be one of the many reasons she embraces it so emphatically.

It is also no coincidence that, like her appearance, her behavior is mostly hidden in the book and bonus. She’s a mystery, or what you might call a secret, lovely beauty. But I think Nesta gives us a big hint, which is then mirrored in the bonus chapter: the carved rose is next to what she believes is the Mother. And it is the Mother that Azriel invokes when they are together. In fact, there is quite a bit of religious language in their encounter…

Letting his scarred fingers touch her immaculate skin.

He prayed she didn’t peer down. Prayed she didn’t understand the shift in his scent.

He’d beg on his knees for a chance to taste it.

Sacrilege for his fingers to touch her.

Just this taste in the dead of the longest night of the year, where only the Mother might witness them.

Offer and permission.

Sarah makes it clear that Azriel is desperate to worship Elain. Is this another hint for her link to the Mother? I speculate about this in a reblog on her murky realm and its connection to divinity and fate. Elain may have even experimented with these powers in ACOSF, starting off as a gentle voice and gradually building toward a luminescent (protective) hand.

Iridescent light began flowing from Nesta’s body. Into Feyre.

Tendrils of light drifted between the sisters. And one, delicate and loving, floated toward Mor. To the bundle in her arms, setting the silent babe within glowing bright as the sun.

The iridescence filled her, filled Feyre, filled the bundle in Mor’s arms, lighting his friend’s face so the shock on it was etched in stark relief.

A bargain. With the Cauldron itself. Yet Cassian could have sworn a luminescent, gentle hand prevented the light from leaving her body altogether.

The Mother. The only being who would see the sacrifice Nesta had made and give a little back. Perhaps it was she who had peered out at them through the Mask.

By the end of ACOSF, we see the pretty result of this influence:

Her father had died for her, with love in his heart, and Nesta held love in her own heart as she pulled the small, carved rose from her pocket and set it upon the gravestone. A permanent marker of the beauty and good he’d tried to bring into the world.

She found Feyre and Elain waiting halfway down the hill, Nyx now dozing peacefully in Elain’s arms. Her sisters beamed, beckoning her to join. And Nesta smiled back, her steps light as she hurried down the hill to meet them.

If Elain can use her seer (which seem to be a combination of oracular and mystic) abilities to help, will she continue to act quietly in the shadows? Or will we finally be able to see what our secretive seer is up to in the next book? I’m personally hoping that Sarah begins to shine a light on these mysterious activities in CC3.

#elain archeron #seer elain #acotar theory #elain theory

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be-ready-when-i-say-go · 2 years ago

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Magnolia Blues--Chapter 6: Psychic: Damage and Healing (Final Part)

Esmeralda ‘Jo’ Jones is new in town, but has already been building big dreams for herself. Eddie Munson knows that the path in his life leads him to just west of 'Nowhere Fast’ as he’s no stranger to the circumstances and how they don’t always work out for some people. When Jo and Eddie meet, it seems like a spark that may or may not catch. But the slowest loves are the ones that mean and hurt the worst.

Black OC X Eddie Munson.

NOTE: All canonical deaths still stand. The gore is NOT described as the main focus in the romance.

Bonus: Deleted Scenes (Fluff, fluff, and more full)

Jo knows when she closes her eyes that the moment the racing thoughts settle and the nothingness creeps in, the grip of the red flashes might take her. And over the weeks and months, Jo stopped trying to fight them when they showed up. Instead she lets each and every one of them wash over her. She lets herself settle. Though whatever is happening is real, it’s all past tense. She knows better now.

When the bats swarm and settle like black specs popping in and out of her vision, she knows the bats have consumed and hurt whatever and whoever they wanted. When the shadowy figure passes along weak themselves, she knows the limping walk is a thing of the past. When the red sky swirls and thunder cracks, it is old cracks and cries. The vines that squelch and slither around are moving in a time that Jo was not aware of.

When the voice pants out just a syllable, which Jo’s never been able to make out clearly but something in her gut says it’s always her name, Jo knows it’s a cry she never could answer. When the sequences jumble themselves--her name first, the bats swirling set, the shadowed limping figured third--she knows the order they are supposed to go.

Jo inhales deeply on a count of three then exhales on a count of four. When the houses that look like the ones in normal Hawkins comes floating up but they are covered in those tentacles and vines, Jo knows it’s something of the before. Not a before that she witnessed or could change, but it is nonetheless a before. When open skies turn into the cracked and open ceilings, Jo knows it could be a during or an after.

Trying to align herself with the advice from the therapist she saw for the grief, Jo tries to just let the images be images. She has thought them to death that summer when they first started and nothing really came of it. They are just images--real, but unable to be affected by her choices or wills right now.

Like a leg that jolts when one falls too quickly into sleep, Jo feels a tap on her chin. It’s gentle like someone used the flats of their knuckles in a lovely gesture. And the nothingness comes back. She is just falling into the grips of sleep.

______________

The doors chime Steve looks up from the counter to spy two new people coming into the store. He greets him as normal and then goes back to working on the display. Another few minutes settle with only the sounds of the patrons talking amongst themselves. The door chimes again. Again Steve glances up to spot Robin, grinning as she walks through the door. “Esmeralda ‘Jo’ Jones soars as she qualifies from the 1992 Olympics. Jones holds nicknames like ‘Lightening Jo’ and ‘Bambi’. After a near perfect streak in her senior year of high school, Jones was recruited by the track team at University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. UNC Chapel Hill is building its brand and reputation as a powerhouse in the track and field sphere. It is not quite there yet, but thanks to superstars like Jones UNC Chapel Hill will continue to build a name for itself and establish itself as one of the top places to be for up and come field stars.’

‘Jones, an explosion of speed and finesse, cites Florence Griffith Joyner as her inspiration professional stating, “As much as Flo-Jo was an inspiration for me to see Black women establishing themselves as professionals in the athletic world, I, too, want to serve as a reminder to future generations of young Black girls that they can be all that they dream of.” When asked who or what else inspires her, Jones responded with, “Love. It feels a bit cliché to say. But there are and were people that loved me deeply and they encouraged me to keep going even when things got tough.” Jones’ brief year at Hawkins High, the year before she went to college, was wrought with personal tragedy where she cites losing a close loved one. But, it would be a dire oversight, not to share that through the personal loss, Jones set a personal record in the 200 meter and her alongside her Hawkins High team set an event record in the 4x spring relay. Jones is slated to compete in the Sprint events, including the 4x relay.’”

Robin slaps the newspaper down. “Our girl is really killing it out there.”

“Is this why you’re ten minutes late? Leaving me to open all on my own,” Steven asks.

“Steve, this is about Jo. Yes, I was ten minutes late. And I would be an additional ten minutes late for her. You’ll get over it. Now, c’mon. You can’t tell me you’re not absolutely bursting with joy at that article.”

“I’m proud of her,” Steve agrees. “She’s been working hard at this goal.”

“Apparently, there is also controversy about her unitard so she had patches made to substitute the pins.”

“They already have bibs pinned to them. Why does it matter about the pins?” Steve counters with a huff.

Robin shrugs. “You know they’ll do whatever they can to undermine someone, I guess. But I’ll admit, she’s much more graceful than I. I would think the pins aren’t as aerodynamic, but that would be something working against Jo and she’s still kicking ass. There also might be concerns about if one falls it would interrupt or cause issues for another runner?”

“Could be that. Sometimes I worry. You know? There’s almost always something and I don’t want that to be stressing her out.”

“She’s tough,” Robin counters. “She’s tougher than any of us.”

#eddie munson #eddie munson x black female character #eddie munson fic #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson x black!oc #stranger things #h writes #steve harrington #nancy wheeler #robin buckley #dustin henderson #lucas sinclair #erica sinclair #max mayfield #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson angst

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vydante · 4 years ago

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Restart | END | Avengers x Male! Reader

I am discontinuing my Restart series because I've simply lost creative juices for it. That's it, no elaborate or other reason. Anyways, I didn't want to just end it on the last chapter, and as someone who loves to overshare (especially if it's unsolicited), I thought some might like to see what drafts I had in plan, going chapter by chapter.

It goes up to Ch. 20 with additional bonus chapters, and chapters where I wasn't sure where they were going to be placed in the timeline.

If you have any comments, let me know! I'd love to read them :)

Here goes! Warning: very long, since the formatting is weird! The reader will be referred to as (Name) and "you", as in the story.

Right after Ch. 12 (Circumvention), are 2 special chapters (High Caliber Bullet) & (America's Sweethearts).

(High Caliber Bullet)'s basic plot was that Barnes, now # amount of weeks since the last chapter, has gained some freedoms and can now go out and about with either (Name) or DAHLIA for supervision (via his phone, and through the cameras everywhere).

In this particular chapter, he basically goes out for a typical grocery run with DAHLIA "accompanying" him, since before, he remembers (Name) telling him that "I won't always be there with you". But something bad happens! Wooo! (Maybe an attempted robbery, I didn't have the details sorted out yet.)

Either way, DAHLIA loses contact with him, and she tries to contact you ASAP, but it takes a little while since your dumbass was asleep the whole time! Wow! The suit had to manually power on and shake you awake.

Anyways, the only thing I had "written down" after that was that, after a failed search attempt for James, you go back home and are greeted with a surprise... "Kabedon"? Or, you're pinned to the walls by James... Or, rather, the Winter Soldier!

You're not sure what's going on, only that, "Wow, Barnes is acting weird. Why is he suddenly Russian? Wh- Okay, wow, he's suddenly gotten a lot closer. Now, wait a fuckin' minute-!"

Either way, you and James make a discovery of a second personality living inside his body- the Soldier! Or Winter, I'm still unsure which I would have gone for. If you're familiar with certain WinterIron tropes, this is one of them. Anyways, that's the end of that chapter, or what I had written so far, anyway.

This chapter is really important to the canon of Restart since it establishes Soldier, but it didn't fit into my initial plans of 10 chapters an arc, so. That's why it's a "special" chapter.

The next "special" chapter after that was (America's Sweethearts). I had written 2 "chunks" of text for this chapter. The main plot is, basically, you and Steve spent a platonic (promise!) Valentine's Day together. Hence the title. Cute, right? This was referenced in Ch. 9 (Revelation) during Future! Steve's reminiscing.

Anyways, below the next text is what I had written for that chapter. It will be in normal text.

No other thoughts on that, so let's move on.

"You live like this?"

In his defense, Steve's apartment wasn't messy in the slightest. In fact, it was the other way around- everything was too clean, too pristine, too detached. The only saving grace he's getting from standing in the middle of his apartment is the fact that compared to the chilly Brooklyn weather, it was almost obnoxiously warm in his apartment.

Not only did he have the heater going on, but he had another separate, portable heater blasting hot air in the corner.

(Sometimes, and only sometimes, Steve will stand in front of the heater and slowly spin around like a rotisserie chicken. The heat feels good, in his defense.)

The heat was something that you, thankfully, didn't comment on as you shed your jacket and slung it around the coat hanger near the door. You're wearing an over-sized tee- Thor's tee, he absentmindedly notes- and some sweats, both like and unlike the (Name) he often sees.

(It's not uncommon for Steve to glance at a newspaper or TV still shot and see you with your hair slicked back and dressed head to toe in a suit so expensive he's confident it costs at least a few years' worths of a typical New Yorker's rent.

Neither is uncommon to see you on the front cover of Men's Magazine, wearing a simple tee that shouldn't look that good on you but still does and posing confidently for the camera.

But despite all that, all of the clearly flattering outfits you could possibly wear at the tips of your fingers, often Steve will see you wear a disparagingly obnoxious, dirty shirt, and an old pair of sweats as your go-to outfit.)

(No, he will never admit that he really likes seeing you like that. Even with the mysterious smudged substance often found on the bottom of your sweats, as if you had swing danced in mud and crude oil.)

Regardless, while he often questions your private life fashion choices (and this is coming from a man who willingly wears khakis), he at least knows why you're wearing what you are, given the fact that he's also dressed in an overused tee and some joggers.

"What's wrong with my apartment? Not up to par with your penthouse standards?" Steve jests.

"Steve. Please." You threw him an unimpressed glare, much to Steve's never-ending amusement.

You glanced back to the inside of the apartment and squinted at it with what Steve could only describe as a rich man's scrutinizing gaze, before shrugging nonchalantly. You strolled into his apartment with a confidence Steve can still never get used to, one that reminds him so much of Tony's, and even Howard on his bad days.

(He understands why Tony doesn't like it when he brings Howard up, as he belatedly realizes that Howard didn't die the same man he knew him as, but he never understood why you've suddenly gotten bitter about Howard as well.)

He follows you into the hallway, and if it weren't for the fact that this was his apartment, he would've looked like a lost puppy following its new owner.

His apartment's not really that big, so it doesn't take long before you've both reached the living room. A simple TV, simple couch, simple table. Nothing really exciting in his living room, but it serves its purposes, in Steve's opinion.

(This is the end of that chunk. Next is where I picked up in writing. Short time skip, they both fall asleep and now Steve's waking up.)

It was the change in the smell that woke him up.

It's always the scent of fresh linen that greeted him early in the morning, something that's become so attuned to his everyday life. So when, instead, popcorn and sweets drifts his way, for a brief second his heart rate jumps.

'What?', his mind asks as he opens his eyes, bleary but cautious.

'Oh,' his mind responds back at him when his eyes drift down to your sleeping form laying splayed right on top of him, body glued to his side. You're mainly hogging the blanket, but he doesn't really mind as he runs hot 24/7.

'Oh', his mind repeats softly, as something deep unfurls from his stomach and rises to his throat, clenching up and unable to say anything as his eyes fixate themselves on your steady breathing. Your lips are too close to his neck, each breath too warm, even for him. His skin burns where it meets yours, and absently he thinks, 'this is nice'.

'Yeah,' he lifts his hand to brush away a strand of hair away from your eyes, 'This is nice.'

Steve blearily throws a glance at the clock on his nightstand. 4 more minutes until he'd typically wake up and start his day with a morning jog.

'No,' his body protests.

'Okay,' his mind agrees without a fight.

He carefully reaches over and presses the silence button on his alarm. Above him, a breathy exhale escapes your lips at the sudden movement, and if possible, you curl closer to him than you were before. He pauses, unsure if you're going to wake up or not, but relax when he realizes that you're still in a deep slumber.

(Another break. Next sentence was supposed to be the final sentence of the chapter.)

In the end, neither of you commented about how Steve had missed his daily morning run as his limbs were straddled in between yours.

Ch. 13 (Upheaval) and 14 (Airlocked) are short in terms of drafting, so I'll combine them into one section here. Ch. 13 (Upheaval) was about taking down SHIELDRA in a better manner than the mess that was CA:TWS. And (Name) also forces Steve and Natasha to fess up immediately about Tony's parent's murderer. ((Name) threatens them.)

As for Ch. 14 (Airlocked), it's pretty much a filler chapter of sorts. (Name) graduates, there's now an official class-action lawsuit against Ross, also now keeping an eye on Baron Zemo, and we see some progression on Barne's therapy session. Not much, but some.

I really was not looking forward to these two chapters, as I knew they were gonna be boring as hell.

Ch. 15 (Spiralling) has actual written chunks. It's basically about the early prevention of Ultron. The Avengers go to a Sokovian HYDRA base, take out baddies, and the Super Twins get captured first- wow! But not before Wanda does... something to (Name), causing you to hallucinate and lose contact with the team- uh oh!

But don't worry! You get run over by a car. Lol. Below is what I had written for it, sans minor text.

A/N: In Ch. 7 (Summer), there was a 'dream-sequence' that happened where (Name) was on Titan with Tony, Peter, Stephen, and the GOTG. I've now decided that in canon, (Name) was not on Titan- instead, you were on Earth instead during IW helping at Wakanda. Just a brief plot-hole wrap-up; let's imply that (Name) had watched video footage of the fight at Titan via Tony's suit afterward, and that's where the nightmare came from. Okay bye.

(VERY abrupt start into the story, not meant to be the start of the chapter in the final draft, just where I wanted to start writing. Intro to Wanda.)

You jerked your head, catching a glimpse of brunette hair in the corner of your eyes. You swung your gauntlet instinctively and made instant contact with whatever was next to you. Flutters of red wisps followed your eyes, and you instantly knew what just happened as a body dropped next to you.

You grunted and leaned onto the nearest wall, watching the girl's limp body with caution. Your shoulder plate lifted, and a tranquilizing dart connected to her thigh.

Just in case.

"Guys, I- I've been- ugh..." You wanted to vomit, the pounding in your head worsening with each millisecond that passes. Already, your surroundings distort you with each blink, walls melting and the floor sinking in on itself. "I've been- com-," you swallowed back your bile, "-compromised... Sending- location... Ergh..."

You didn't even have enough time to hear a response before the whole world around you shifted. You squeezed your eyes shut, trying to calm your thundering heartbeat. The pounding got worse as the armor around you dissipated into nothing but the under-suit you were wearing. Before, where there were the shouting and gunshots, is now replaced with an eerie silence filled with just your laborious breathing.

You didn't know the full extent of what visions you were about to see, but you needed to remember that none of this is real. Scientifically, that was your only safe haven from possibly losing your mind for what's about to come. And it was worse because you had no idea what visions you'd see. Would you see Thanos? The Chitauri, just like your father once had? Or would it be something more close to home; the bunker? Tony's dead body, splayed with vomit around him, frostbitten to the touch and still like a marbled statue?

Ready to go up and arms at whatever it was you're about to see, you cautiously opened your eyes.

(Line break, there's meant to be an "oh shit" line, like "Only, you were met with eyes far too similar to yours." but I still didn't know what I wanted to do for the hallucination sequence. Maybe meeting an older you, a younger you, or your dream life without the Avengers or meta-humans.)

(Below is an abrupt shift in the story; same general setting, but outside POV! What I had was dialogue only, alternating between people in bold, as a POV switch.)

(Name) "Guys, I- I've been- ugh... I've been- com-compromised... Sending- location... Ergh..."

(Steve) "Apex, do you copy? (Name)!"

(Steve) "Shit, (Name) isn't answering! Tony!"

(Tony) "Got his location, he's inside the base. J.A.R.V.I.S., what's his status?"

(J.A.R.V.I.S.) "I'm sorry, Sir, but it appears that I am not in contact with his suit."

(Tony) "Wha- the hell do you mean you're not in contact?!"

(J.A.R.V.I.S.) "I cannot connect to his suit; it appears that Young Sir has somehow deprogrammed me from his suit."

(Tony) "Wha-!"

(J.A.R.V.I.S.) "However, it seems as if there is an A.I. present nonetheless. Though..."

(J.A.R.V.I.S.) "I do not recognize the code. Would you like me to attempt at forming a mode of communication?"

(Tony) "Yeah, just- God, make sure (Name)'s okay, please."

(J.A.R.V.I.S.) "On it."

(J.A.R.V.I.S.) "Establishing a connection."

(DAHLIA) "Mister Stark?"

(Tony) "Wha- I'm sorry- who are you?"

(DAHLIA), ignoring Tony, "An enhanced got to (Name). The operative is down, but (Name)'s experiencing hallucinations. I can't get through to him- you need to get to him, now. I fear he may hurt himself more than he already has."

(DAHLIA) "And if I may be privy to a request?"

(Tony) "What?"

(DAHLIA) "Don't bring Rogers." (I don't remember why I wrote this bit.)

(Steve) "Any updates on (Name)?"

(Tony) "Yep, and by the looks of it," there was a loud boom coming from the base, and as Tony looked up to see an all too familiar suit fly out of the building. Or, rather, flying was an interesting way to put it- it was more of a free-falling more than anything else.

(Steve) "What was that?"

(Tony) "That was (Name), and he's not havin' a great time I'll tell you that."

His voice was light and joking, but he'd be lying if he didn't say that his heart wasn't in his throat by the sight of you flying out of the building and falling back into the forests.

(Line break, another POV switch)

Steve sprinted towards the loud boom, movements quick and calculated, but mind racing a thousand miles an hour. He saw a red and gold glint fly up above him, zipping in and out between trees gracefully.

(Line break, but no switch, same place. Another story POV shift, sort of. Steve makes contact with (Name), or so he thinks.)

"(Name)? Hey, do you copy?"

The suit was eerily silent, glowing eyes that once gave comfort to the soldier now bringing nothing but an awful, gripping dread; one that he'd get when there were Nazi soldiers nearby, but he couldn't tell where even with his enhanced senses. The suit gave away nothing that usually screamed out everything that was you- no head swaying, no restless and constantly shifting feet, only a stillness that looked so unnatural. Almost as if there was no one in there.

"(Name)?"

There was no response from you.

The hairs on Steve's neck stood up, everything in his system suddenly screaming to get out of there, run, leave, get away from the suit, but he ignored it as he took a cautious step forward.

Again, you didn't seem to react.

Then, the suit took a step forward.

Then another one.

And another one.

"(Name)-"

Before he could say anything more, the suit lunged forward. Only for a moment could Steve react, but even he wasn't as fast as you could be when you're in the suit. He raised his shield, ready to be shot at, but only the sound of harsh metal on metal makes it to his ears. By the sounds of it, it sounded like Tony had managed to land a direct hit on you, from wherever position he was at. Cautiously, Steve lowers his shield to look.

But instead of the familiar red and gold suit of armor greeting him, it's the sight of two (color) suits wrestling on the ground with each other that manages to sucker-punch all air from his lungs.

(Basically, you went bat shit insane and got out of the older suit, then prematurely activating the nano suit instead, in a fit of panicked hallucination. The older suit, now operating by DAHLIA, was trying to protect Steve from being ambushed by (Name), and now they're wrestling.)

(Another big break, but I think I had a hallucination sequence from (Name)'s POV planned here. Not sure what I was gonna do here since I planned this like, maybe in 2018, early 2019. It's... 2021 now...)

"-(Name)!"

Your eyes widened as the world around you suddenly shifts out of existence, and instead, you're outside in the dim, snowy alps once again. Someone called out to you, you don't know who, but there's a light in the corner of your eyes that's so goddamn bright. You turn your head in the direction of the light, and amidst all of the yelling and gunshots, DAHLIA's cool, chilling voice rings the loudest in your ear.

"Aborting protoc-"

And then the world turned black.

Ch. 16 (Enflamed) also has written text. Basically, you're recovering from being caught slipping by a car, the team is now aware of certain secrets you've been keeping behind their backs, and you realize that you have to get back to Barnes to let him know you're okay.

This chapter was meant to be focused on the twins, but I guess I forgot that as I was "writing" it. Basically, the gist was that their parent's deaths weren't by officially licensed Stark tech (maybe even a counterfeit since Stark weapons are the best, and don't malfunction as it did in WandaVision ep. 8). Maybe HYDRA was the one that did it in order to recruit more people. Or something like that. Basically, Tony wasn't the one who authorized those weapons to be sold and used there, but it was Stane. Either way, they get their own healthy moment to mourn and lament over it all.

Here's the text below. Italics for a dream sequence, since you were unconscious/ in a coma from being bOnked on by a car.

"Hey, sweetheart."

You smile, turning around to face the voice only to be greeted with lips on yours. You chuckle, amused that this was the first thing you'd be greeted with, but lean into the kiss anyways as you wrapped your fingers around their cheek.

They pull back first, but their eyes are warm as they smile, lingering in the space between the two of you. Where their hands laid on your hips, your skin burned bright hot, but you paid no mind to it.

(There's supposed to be more, maybe foreshadowing, but I stopped here in terms of the dream sequence. Jump cut to another POV, but you're waking up!)

(Name) "Hnng..."

(Steve) "Stay down! You're in no condition to move at all, just- just rest, okay? The doctors- and- your dad are coming."

(Steve) "How're you feeling? You want some water?"

You tried to turn your head to look at the blonde but hissed suddenly.

(Name) "S'nnof'a' b'ch..." (Son of a bitch.)

Steve helped you settle back onto your pillow- which even he'll admit doesn't look like the most comfortable setting in the world.

"Language, (Name)..."

He reprimanded, but there's no heat in his words as he's just so thankful that you're even capable of forming any words, no matter how profane they may be.

Beside him, Clint laughs a bit too loud for comfort. Steve wants to tell him to be quiet, as he's sure you're sensitive to noise right now, but God he can't blame the archer for his overwhelming relief.

Lord knows Clint wasn't the only one to stress over their youngest Avenger.

"First words after a damn coma, and it's 'son of a bitch'! I told you he's a fighter!"

"Of course he is, he's a Stark after all."

All eyes turn to see the billionaire and assassin walk into the room. They look clean and pristine as always, but by the slight sheen of sweat on both of them, Steve knew they rushed here as soon as word spread that you were awake.

(Natasha) "Tooting your own horn a little much there?"

Natasha's smile betrays her words as she looks fondly from the senior Stark to the junior. Even the ironclad wall she has up 24/7 has a soft spot for the team's junior member.

(Especially for the junior member, but you didn't hear that from Steve.)

(Tony) "It's both of our horns, excuse you."

Tony turns his attention to you and places a gentle hand on your shoulder.

"You sure took a hit back there, champ."

"Mmm... 'm feel like a... Nn... A damn Make A W'sh kid...", (Mm, am feeling like a damn Make A Wish kid...) your eyes, though blown out from still being drugged up, wandered across each Avenger. You frowned, then smirked- well, as best as you could, anyways.

"Where's th' Hul'k? T'or?" (Where's the Hulk? Thor? (As a joke, since usually the whole gang visits, but they're missing))

"Relax junior, you're not that special. We can only afford so many Avengers to visit you."

Despite his harsh words, Tony places a kiss right on your forehead. Your eyes flutter closed, lashes delicately batting as Tony leans away.

(Big block of nothing, there were supposed to be more text here, more dialogue or something. Same setting!)

(Tony) "So. We need to talk about what happened back there. Y'know. The brand-smackin' new A.I. that's in your suit- she's been awfully quiet. Oh, and the- lord, the thing's a work of art- the- what is it? Nanite suit? That's in a collar- a collar? I mean, I'm not one to judge questionable fashion statements, but-"

(Steve, or someone else) "Tony."

(Tony) "Right- but, we are going to talk about all that, okay?"

"L'ter, ple's? Am tir'd..." (Later, please? Am tired.)

"An' b'sides, chok'r's fun..." (And besides, chokers are fun.)

(Line break, basically, you remember you have a certain Winter Soldier that's been sitting at home without any word from you.)

’Oh fuck.’

(Big line break, basically, you get discharged from the hospital, and now you visit the safehouse Barnes is in to check up on him.)

It was eerily quiet when you opened the door to the safe house. You limped into the door, thankful that the ride on the way back, there were no paparazzi to see you leave at all. (Really, Happy should get a raise.) Lord knows how much of a rile that'll get out of the news media.

'Avengers' Golden Boy: Fatally Injured?' or something dumb like that.

You'd love to roll your eyes, but the tension that's coiling up in your gut surpasses the want as you slowly step into the house. It's warm, more so than the slow brewing chill that's been tempering outside. James never liked the cold, but even so, the house was warmer than you remembered. His shoes are still near the doorway, in the exact place that you remembered it to be, so he definitely hasn't gone anywhere.

(Though, the alerts that were on your phone from DAHLIA definitely show that he wanted to.)

For a brief moment, you were concerned that there wasn't enough food; but even then, DAHLIA would still be up, so she could place an online order to refill the fridge at a moment's notice, so it's not like James (even with his super-soldiered appetite) would starve himself here.

You quietly slipped out of your shoes, slowly as to not incur another cramp in your back, and stepped into the hallway barefooted. You glance into each room you pass by, but not a single sign of the soldier was anywhere to be found.

You stopped when you stood in front of one specific lounge room; yours and James' favorite lounge room.

Lurking into the room, you glanced around.

The room looked exactly like how it did days before when you were still conscious. There are a few mugs strewn about. Most empty, conjoined in one area of the table (James' area), but there's one that's filled with your favorite drink. A drink that you don't remember making for yourself.

And it's placed right in front of your favorite chair, too. Something squeezes at your heartstrings as you couldn't help but smile fondly.

It's gone cold, you absently note as you dip a finger into it. Wiping your finger on your pants, you grabbed it and the rest of the empty cups, making a note to place them into the dishwasher when you make it into the kitchen.

"James?"

You called out, but only your voice echoed back. The cups quietly rattled with each step, and it's not long before you make it into the kitchen. It, too, looks the same, but there's a thin layer of dust only a clean freak would notice. The sink is empty and clear of any beads of water. Unused for a little bit, you concluded.

Yeesh.

You placed all of the cups into the dishwasher, which was also dry and empty as well. Sighing, you turned on the machine and jumped out of your skin when you felt a pair of built arms wrap themselves around you tightly.

It only takes a split second for you to realize that, no, this is not some ax murderer that's about to choke the life out of you, it's just James.

James who, apparently, is holding you flush against his chest, fingers curling themselves against your bandaged abdomen. You held back a wince of pain, careful not to make your breathing waver, as James nuzzle his whole head against the crook of your neck.

(Honestly, for someone named the Winter Soldier, he sure is warm because whew, boy-)

"Ja-"

"I thought you were gone."

His name is caught in your throat as James' voice- gritty, deep, unused- rumbles into your skin. You freeze, unsure of what to say to that as you shuddered, suddenly breathless as he mouths at your neck. Your ears turn bright red as he takes that moment to speak up, not once letting up on his fingers ghosting a trail on each muscle on your abdomen.

"You were gone. One second you were in my arms, and the next... The next, DAHLIA's tellin' me you're in a damn coma."

You winced, not sure how to respond to both what he said or the growl that accompanied it. You looked up at the camera that was in a nearby corner and threw it a withering glance, feeling slightly betrayed by DAHLIA for telling James that.

Thankfully (or probably not), James isn't really looking for a response as he continues on.

"Моя звездная пыль (My stardust)," Russian slips out, bringing a chill up your spine as bits of Winter spills out from James' fingertips, "The witch got to you, didn't she?"

Goosebumps raised on your skin, and to your silence, James snarled. You can barely feel his teeth graze on your nape, and you really don't know if you should feel embarrassed or something else.

And wow, okay, maybe you should tell James to ease up on the "hug", because holy shit, his grip's getting tighter and it's starting to actually hurt.

(Ah, he might tear the stitches.)

"HYDRA сукa...! Я убью ее...!" (HYDRA bitch...! I'll kill her...!)

You huffed, still red in the face as he hasn't even nudged away from letting you go. You patted his forearm, signaling for him to loosen up his grip, and to his credit, he does. Barely, but it was still something.

"I dunno what ya' just said in Russian, but I know what Hydra сукa means. No cussing in Russian, only in English."

He mumbles something incoherent into your shoulder, rubbing circles into your stomach with a tantalizingly slow speed. You coughed; in literally any other situation this would be one of the hottest things you've ever experienced, but considering that James was more Winter than James right now, and your stomach is literally burning in pain from the rubbing, you opted to ignore the fact that you really liked that James was this close and spoke up.

"Not to alarm you or anything, but uh, if you keep rubbing my stomach like that," your breath hitched, the pain starting to become a little too much, "I'm gonna pass out from the pain," you said, with clenched teeth.

(End of what I had written down. Anyways, not sure where I was gonna go from here.)

Ch. 17-20 are relatively short in terms of what I had written down.

Ch. 17 (Reconditioning) has 3 things typed down:

integrating the twins, thoughts of integrating bucky

supreme distrust between you and the twins

meanwhile maybe thoughts from twins abt you? you're around their age

3rd bullet introduces the idea that they might be love interests. Maybe. Shrugs. That chapter would be heavier on the character developments of the twins, both as their own persons and their relationship with you, specifically. They don't like you because you're Tony's son, still some bitter feelings there, and you don't like them because... Well... there's just a lot of bad feelings. They helped kill J.A.R.V.I.S. in your original timeline. Wanda basically fucked off with Vision. She antagonized Tony. (And there is a hypocrisy there since I would've written you to have done the same thing there. (Name) isn't perfect.)

You just didn't get along with Pietro since, back when he wasn't dead, you were immature and not yet accustomed to dealing with people who're purposefully frustrating/ teasing/ mocking/ etc. Nothing really personal with him, it's Wanda that you had beef with. But you'll get over it one day.

Ch. 18 (Longstanding) is shorter.

you and james have a talk, and after a year or two being solitary, you agree that he should be in the avengers

he joins the avengers

That's it, that's the chapter.

Ch. 19 (Accountability) deals with newer Accords (not a Sokovian one! Just from the proposed need for accountability).

It goes better around this time, as basically all of the Avengers agree to it, with their own caveats of course. Steve especially, but of course, he's willing to work with the governments about it this time around. Also, Peter Parker gets introduced, in accordance with the "underaged enhanced/ superheroes" clause, or some bull like that.

Ch. 20 (Wakanda) is basically the intro to CA:CW but like, civilized. No bombing since Zemo still has his family. Introduces Wakanda, and T'Challa as a potential love interest. If you're interested in IronPanther, I highly recommend reading the IronPanther Collection by Okyverlo on AO3. It's great and got me a lot of interest in T'Challa as a love interest.

As for official chapters with the plot, that's about it. I wasn't sure what to do afterward.

There were some loose ideas I had about what would happen to (Name). Maybe the truth is revealed, that you're actually from the future, and Dr. Strange separates past and future you into two separate bodies. Future! you into your original future body, and past! you into the current body. Past! you still have the same memories and thoughts that future! you had, but with less angst. Future! you is noticeably more depressed and just a bummer. Lol.

And after that, 2023! you would go back to the future where you belonged, and Past! you would stay in the present since, duh, that's still Past! you's original timeline. It's a little confusing when I type it down haha.

I was thinking maybe 2023! you would pair up with Steve since you realized how burdensome it is to continue to resent someone. Now you understood what Tony meant.

And Past! you would definitely pair up with James, but maybe Steve too. A nice lil' polygamous relationship.

Now here's the other, non-official chapters.

2 What If's, and 3 Specials, in the order they're listed at the moment.

What If (2013 Counterpart) plays with an initial idea I had, where Past! (Name) was actually sent into the future into 2023! (Name)'s body during the prologue. Not sure where I was gonna go with this chapter, but I really wanted to mess with that possibility, and show just how immature and teenager-y Past! you were.

What If (Swapped Places) plays with the idea that you and Tony, in the original timeline, had swapped places. You were on Titan with Spiderman, Dr. Strange, and the GOTG, while Tony was on Earth with everyone else. That's all I had planned. Maybe you actually won and managed to get the gauntlet off of Thanos when you realized that Peter Quill was about to go crazy over his ex's death, and you knocked him down in time.

Special (Find My Body, Only At The Oak Tree), deals with you and your depression over the reality that you might have to relive the blip again, and aside from the Avengers, you really don't have anyone else and nothing's worth really living for at this point. I actually have a lot written for this one. Not sure if I wanted this to be canon.

Trigger warning: suicidal tendencies.

(Below is the general idea I had for the plot.)

(names) birthdays across the years so far

we see slow mental deterioration of (name) as he aches

we see as we reach closer and closer to the deadline, (name) dreads even thinking about thanos and wants to die before even looking at him, a symbol of their failure

lowkey highkey suicidal

___

The first time you celebrated your 17th birthday was in 2014.

The second time you celebrated your 17th birthday was also in 2014... Obviously.

The first time you celebrated your 17th birthday, the whole tower was flooded with people who you knew and people who you couldn't care to know. It was filled with what little was left of your friend group outside of the Avengers; it was also filled with the rich, the pompous, the irritating of New York.

You got into a yelling match with your dad that night, over something you couldn't even bother to remember, and stormed off into your room, fuming as the party still went on without their birthday boy present.

(It's always like that as if you're replaceable. Surely, you must be; the Avengers can and will, if need be, exist without you.)

The second time you celebrated your 17th birthday, you told your dad you wanted it to be small and personal. Only the Avengers were there, as a few days ago did you spend a pre-birthday celebration with some of your high school 'friends' (which only mainly consisted of playing Smash Bros Brawl in your room and eating an ungodly amount of junk food as you fake laughed along with their shitty jokes.) (Steve promptly made you burn those calories off in training.).

(What Steve doesn't know is that you purposefully ate that much to train with him; otherwise, you had the whole day off the next day.

You didn't want to be alone.)

It was sweet as everyone gave their gifts to you (which you already knew what it was, but said nothing of it), and as everyone got drunk off of the expensive liquor or Asgardian mead, you quietly snuck out of the building and back into the safe house where James was waiting for you.

(He waits, but how much of it is because he has no other choice?

It is not like that, you keep reminding yourself.

Who is to say, other than you?

James never says anything of it, and you start to wonder if he feels as if he has no choice.

As if he feels like he's been made another prisoner, once again.

At what point, what is separating the distinction between you and HYDRA, in his mind?

You're not too keen on finding out the answer anytime soon.)

The whole way there, you thought of nothing in particular.

You quietly celebrated with him too, shared a few slices of cake he made just for you before you quietly said goodnight to him. He kissed you on the cheek, said a simple goodnight, and slipped away into his own bedroom.

Meanwhile, you spent the rest of the night drinking too much alcohol, alone, in the dark of your room, staring at nothing in particular, thinking about nothing in particular.

The next morning, you jokingly wished you had just died last night as you're bent over the toilet emptying your stomach contents.

___

The first time you celebrated your 18th birthday, you spent it outside in another country with your friends.

The second time you celebrated your 18th birthday party, you rented out a bumper kart arena with the Avengers.

The first time you celebrated your 18th birthday, you tried desperately to hang onto the remaining friends you had outside of the Avengers, a chance to feel normal for once. You practically went hiking across Europe and into Asia over the week of your birthday, and by God did you visit so many places. From the Louvre to the casinos in New Deli, you trekked everywhere with your friends and acted as a cash pig for their endeavors under the guise of celebrating your birthday. Least to say, you always got 'accidentally' blackout drunk on multiple occasions, oblivious to their actions.

Later you found out and cut them off instantly without another word. They didn't seem to notice that you stopped talking to them.

It hurt.

Pointless of you to try to maintain that friendship.

So on your next 18th birthday, having long forgone those friendships ages ago, you suggested going bumper karting with the Avengers. Bruce operated as the 'coach' of sorts, but he seemed to have enjoyed it as well.

It was fun, obviously.

It went on for a few hours, as you all had made up mini-games to play along with as they got bored of chasing after each other aimlessly for half an hour. A few games had you pairing up with some of the Avengers; the other had them actually using their skills to try to maim each other.

(Wanda at one point lifted everyone into the air as Pietro zoomed through the rink; though, he did slip and slam into the wall. Everyone laughed, but it was interrupted as Wanda promptly dropped everyone out of shock.

Everyone was too busy in their own shock as well to notice your labored breathes, wild crazed eyes, or how you clawed viciously at your throat at the sight of Wanda's red wisps. Your fingers were tinted a sick vermilion.

Thankfully, the arena was relatively dim, so no one could tell what just happened.)

It was fun. Everyone didn't hold their shoves back, and when things riled up, it turned into who would break a bone first. No one did, but everyone was definitely sore afterward. Of course, the enhanced ones didn't limp as much, but it made your limp nothing out of the ordinary.

(You tried your most damn not to just collapse completely, both exhaustion and pain threatening to snap your spine into little bits and pieces.

You jokingly wished it did.)

Thankfully, during the whole ordeal, no one noticed how you didn't avoid obvious hits, instead opting to just get harshly jostled in your kart and neck snapped haphazardly to the side at the sudden jolt. Or how you 'accidentally' keep forgetting to put on your seat belt or keep your fingers inside the kart.

Or at least, if they noticed, no one said anything as you limped around the tower the next day, bruises marred everywhere on your skin, a sheen of sweat blanketed on your skin throughout the whole day.

___

The first time you celebrated your 19th birthday, you were too swamped with both college and SI to actually... Celebrate.

You didn't even realize it was your birthday. No one did, actually; it took one of your professors to comment on how your name was trending on Twitter to actually get you to realize what the day was.

But even that didn't change your schedule, and as you moved on with your day, so did Twitter and the Avengers.

You never got to celebrate your 19th birthday, too swamped with other things to care.

The second time you celebrated your 19th birthday, you had too much free time in the world.

It ended up being just like your 17th. The Avengers had a little get-together (they remembered this time; what made it so different?) and all of them got drunk wildly off their asses. Once again, you slipped away from the main lounge, and stalked silently, blank-faced, towards a balcony.

You adjusted your collar appropriately and stood there. You stared outside into the bustling busy streets of New York, the city that never sleeps.

(Strange, that it's named that when often times it's the quietest whenever you're there to see it.)

You spend maybe 10 minutes standing there, staring into the oblivion that is New York.

And then, you climbed onto the railings.

Standing there, there was no rush of adrenaline that coursed its way through your veins, nor was there any fear or dread.

Only an overwhelming and crippling exhaustion that made waves through your body. No longer are you in your 19-year-old body, but your 27th. No longer are you in your younger, former self; one that shone brightly above the others, aspiring as both a heroic figure and one that would help pave the way towards a better, peaceful world.

No, instead, your soul feels like it's settled deep into your bones, an aching tire that keeps rocking and rattling at your already fractured, beaten down body, laughing at how pathetic you look.

(You're so tired.

You just wanted to live normally.

You never can, you eventually come to realize on your first 24th birthday.

That thought, now fully realized, would come to permeate it's way deep into your bones.)

All you wanted to do was to just take one step forward, off of the railing that you're so delicately balanced upon, and dive into air headfirst.

Really, all it takes is just one step.

And truly, you've never felt more at peace as your body dropped from the railings, descended quickly towards the streets below you.

What should've been a quick few seconds of a dive felt like an eternity drowning in a bottomless pool. The lights of New York flashed and beamed at you, but it changed rapidly from one to another. Your throat closes, shuttering, and you want so desperately to start screaming.

Only, no one would hear them.

The winds would carry away your screams, rushing a sound of its own that would overpower yours.

You wonder, absently, was this similar to what Rhodey felt that day?

Well.

You'd never really find out, now, will you?

Too late to ask.

(There's no way to get back home.

You can never see Morgan again- the Morgan that called you her big Care Bear, the Morgan that cried and threw a temper tantrum because you forgot to give her a goodnight kiss.

You can never see mom and dad again- while they're still here, it's just not the same. You'll never get to see the same Pepper who was so relieved just to see you alive after the Battle of Wakanda, even if you were practically on your death bed. You'll never get to see the same Tony who you spent hours crying into the shoulder of after the Blip.

You can never see the same Steve, Natasha, Rhodey, anyone, ever again.

Years spent just trying to be better, to help the world, to mend and build any relationships you could, gone.

And even if they weren't?

There's just no way to get back home anymore. Not back to the person you used to be.)

The next day, you got an earful from your parents when photos of your falling body appear all over the internet. All the meanwhile, you're not really listening to them, just staring right back at them.

Odd.

('When did you start looking at me with contempt?', you'd ask one day.

Tony just stares at you, then out the window. In his hand, he's holding a cup of coffee; in yours, water. You've since stopped drinking anything remotely sugary, caffeinated, or alcoholic, though you've never told anyone why.

'When did you start mistaking concern with contempt.', he responded, though it was more of a statement rather than a question.

You stared at him, then followed his gaze out the window.

Neither of you says anything, even as the hours go by in the blink of an eye.)

(That's all I had written down so far. Not sure where I wanted to go with this afterwards.)

Special (Vapidity, Testament To Absence) deals with future DAHLIA realizing what it means to mourn someone.

The house is empty.

It is an irrelevant thought, DAHLIA notes.

Technically speaking, the house has been empty quite often than not; after all, you were a busy man with an equally busy schedule. Being the CEO of SI and a huge contributing factor to the world's rebuilding made it more or less impossible for you to stay at home for long. Though, she also doesn't linger long in the house, either. But she's still there regardless, even if she's also with you on the other side of the planet for diplomatic reasons.

She knows of the emptiness inside this house; it was never an unfamiliar concept.

But with this emptiness, she's never once associated loneliness with it either.

It's a bit better when Virginia occasionally comes around to the house to do some maintenance. She might even bring along little Morgan with her.

("You keep saying she's a pest, but I know I sure as hell ain't the one that keeps shifting the TV to the kids' channels when she's around," you comment, not even taking your eyes off of the pan. DAHLIA says nothing towards your accusations, instead opting to tell you that you're burning your eggs.

You aren't, but she says nothing amidst your panic.)

A few others occasionally visit, too, much to DAHLIA's internal disapproval.

Rogers used to visit every day ever since she first noted the emptiness. His behavior was also peculiar. He'd prowl around the house, pausing here and there at random parts of the house. He'd often just... Stand there, seemingly looking at nothing for a long period, before jolting back and continue what he was doing. She's thankful that he hasn't noted her silence when he's around.

Often Banner would come along too, and he'd be talking quietly with Rogers. As of recently, they've stopped visiting though. Probably because of the recent news (that (Name) might still be alive, just lost in time), DAHLIA almost bitterly notes.

James ("Just call him Rhodey- literally no one calls him James nowadays." you laugh, eyes crinkling with amusement) visits too. He doesn't linger for long, but he makes sure to check up on DAHLIA, help tend to the flowers... She'd even dare say she wishes he'd visit more often.

Peter also visits here and there as well. He often comes with Morgan and Virginia, but there have been a few occasions where he's come here by himself. He'd spend most of his time in the garden, your favorite place. And when he's alone, she'd given him privacy out of respect, but even at a long distance, she can hear him talking by himself. He'd come back eyes red and swollen, but he's always smiling afterward.

A few others have visited too, but not as often as the others. Though, none of that really helps negate the emptiness she feels as she wordlessly navigates through a routine she devoted herself to after your disappearance.

And the final chapter, Special (Chemically Compromised) is basically a fluff filler with (Name) chaperoning Peter's field trip, inspired by an Instagram post.

Written in bits and pieces, unfinished. Not sure if I wanted it to be romantic (the name implies it in a nerdy way) or just a fun, platonic, "dude you're literally embarrassing me" way.

(Peter) "I can't believe you're doing this...!"

(Name) "What? What's wrong with this?"

Pan to (Name) dressing like he's a Typical, Normal Civilian Man, but it's clearly (Name) Stark, son of Tony Stark, and an Avenger.

(Peter) "I don't need you to chaperone my field trip...! May could've done this-"

(Name) "No, she really couldn't, sweetheart. She's got a busy shift, and even told me that no one else's parents was free."

(Name) "Listen- this really could have gone worse if, say, Tony, knew. God knows Tony would've dropped everythin' and just embarrass ya- he did that shit to me every chance he got," Peter winces, almost forgetting that Tony was still your dad, and a chill ran up his spine as he imagined what it would have been like for you.

(Peter) "But still..."

(Name) "Don't worry, I'll just wear a cap and sunglasses."

(Peter) "That can't possibly work."

(Name) "You'd be surprised- Sam's standin' down there, right near that phone booth."

Peter's head snapped over to where you were pointing at, and indeed, right on the floors of the Manhattan streets, there was a relatively built black guy that's wearing a cap, sunglasses, and a brown leather jacket. Peter tilted his head.

He hasn't been around Sam all that much, but he still knows what the Avenger looked like. But even then, he wasn't sure if that man was actually Sam. He's built right, but Peter can't see much of his hair or eyes. Plus, he's kind of far away.

He squinted at the man, before glancing back at you, now unsure of himself.

(Peter) "That's really the Falcon?"

You stared at him, before snorting.

(Name) "Nah, I'm joshin' ya, that's just some random guy...", you glance at the man, sniffing, "... Probably."

That's... pretty much it. That's all I had for Restart, as far as writing goes.

Now here are some closing thoughts, just to wrap all of this up nice and tight, sort of.

I'm not really happy with how the initial chapters were paced and how they were written. My writing style has mildly changed, and if I had the motivation to, I'd love to rewrite them. But alas, I don't.

I think about this story often; or at least, variations of it. It's like when you daydream, and you restart it but to the left. But unfortunately, writing a plot without too many plot holes while remaining as canonically correct as possible, and making it interesting without being a complete word-by-word remake of the movies, is difficult.

I'm not sure if I would ever pick up this story again, especially since this whole chapter told you what I had in store anyways.

Thank you to those who took the time out of their day to write nice and encouraging comments about this story. It's unfortunate it had to end this way, but I'm glad it happened anyways. And hopefully, it's the same for you.

And remember: the one thing writers love to do is talk about their story! If you have any other comments, questions, or just general thoughts about the story, I'd love to discuss it further!

Anyways. If you're reading this now, thanks for sticking with Restart for as long as you did.

_____

Masterlist

_____

I know I had people on the tagged list, but it’s a bit hard to get them all as URL’s change, so I opted not to. Sorry!

#male reader #avengers x male reader #steve rogers x male reader #bucky barnes x male reader #avengers #reader insert #avengers x reader #restart

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mego42 · 4 years ago

Text

Shamelessly stealing @foxmagpie’s monthly rec thing without the ability to get my life together to do these on a monthly basis so, seasonal recs! So excited to see if I manage to do this again with anything remotely resembling consistency but i’ve been keeping the notes for approximately 43 years (or since ~september, whatever that means) so by god i’m gonna use them.

found my thrill - s_t_c_s / @sothischickshe

Turner POV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

guys turner is SO OBSESSED with Beth and Rio

both canonically and in this fic

it’s gr9

also features a weirdly soothing and relatable cord untangling moment as a metaphor

truly disturbingly relatable turner pov tbh

relentless boomer disdain, always a plus

led to the creation of this monstrosity, not sure what kind of a monster would do that

War In My Mind - mintletters16

Backread!!!!

post-213, gorgeous character study

guaranteed to make you feEl stUfF

I really love the like, cyclical, fractured pattern of Beth’s internal monologue, it gives the whole thing a really affecting at times dreamy, at times haunted vibe

the end twist is *chef’s kiss*

mourning bells - Ejunkiet / @ejunkiet

Backread!!!!

Later s2 era, Rio’s at a funeral, gets drunk and calls Beth

V short, kind of…..mmm, not sweet, but almost? Idk

It’s got a wistful sort of almost/i can be quiet with you vibe that i go extremely bonkers for

delinquents - foxmagpie / @foxmagpie

Lol are any of you actually not reading this yet?

g o d ch 8 where do i start

First off how ABSOLUTELY VERY DARE for the tragic angst that is delinquents!beth boland. This poor baby, this precious bean. MUST PROTEC

SHE’S TRYING HER BEST AND I LOVE HER

zero percent deserves dean’s clammy hands, no i have not forgotten, tattooed on my brain, will never forgive

I also love love love love LOVE the ruby/stan subplot happening

(and ruby’s mom!!!!!) (seriously though you write the best moms)

oh god and baby beth starting to have confusing feelings about rio?????? *chef’s kiss*

p sure i was just like, straight screaming the entire end of the chapter

the dugout is like, pure serotonin

I can’t even talk about the closet

tHe teNsiOn

thank you i will take eleventy billion

don't give it a hand, offer it a soul - medievalraven / @medievalraven

am a desperate heaux for any fic that features rio and mick friendship

you are all incredibly shocked i know

still would not be mad if this swerved into rio x mick fake dating but beth x rio is cool too i guess

Speaking of things i am a desperate heaux for: DIANE!!!!!!!!

and DATING ANNIE???????????? Blessed

honestly this fic is worth it purely for the assertion that mick watches queer eye

Why don't we go to Venus? - watermelonriddles / @bensonstablers

another grief study!

apparently i was working through some stuff in september, idk, that was like 4 years ago

considering it’s the premise of the fic, i don’t think it’s a spoiler to say this fic is canon divergent and working with the premise that rio killed beth in 302

he is uh, not coping well

extremely haunted you might say

lots of marcus and rhea which is a delight!

rhea is to good for him tbh

i said what i said

truly top notch dream (nightmare?) sequences

the conversation at the end is extremely uncalled for

drop the game - Ejunkiet / @ejunkiet

Backread!!!!

Am going to die mad Beth and Rio didn’t hook up in 211 but luckily this fic scratched the itch

(temporarily, it’s a fairly permanent itch)

Bonus rec: missing scene series i wanna do bad things to you featuring 2x02 and 2x04

Viva Voce - zetuslapetus / @querenaxx

Whoops we woke up married Vegas shenanigans!!

So cute!!!!! So sexy!!!!!

What more do you want?

am desperately obsessed with how beth can’t help stalking rio

feels right, feels organic

this makes me feel a lot of stuff about how they could be without their canon garbage between them

🎶 we could’ve had it aaaaaaaaaaall 🎶

you showed me colors (i can't see them with anyone else) - gild_fire / @gild-and-fire

really into the use of color to illustrate beth’s emotional state, i feel like there’s a word for that but idk what it is

UNIMPORTANT

really nice job capturing beth’s inner vulnerability balanced by her outer stubbornness

am DESPERATELY into Mick playing matchmaker

more please???????

Both Sides of the Law - JoeyLee / @joeyjoeylee

LAW SCHOOL AU! I suuuuuuper love Beth and Rio here (alt pov!! a gift!!!!) I love how initially prickly they are, I love how it’s evolving into a grudging respect, I love how INCREDIBLY AND HILARIOUSLY OBSESSED WITH EACH OTHER THEY ARE and neither one of them seems to see it

listen I know we’re all already foaming at the mouth over this one but as it’s gonna go down as one of my all time favorites it bears repeating/rereccing

cannot stress enough how masterful the use of POV is here, both voices feel completely true and distinct and I love how the alternating chapters revisit, reveal and emphasize pieces of each other

i can’t talk about this fic without hyperventilating

I LOVE IT SO MUCH YOU GUYS

the slow burn is going to ACTUALLY KILL ME

rip, no regrats

Earned It - wakeupflawless / @wakeupflawless

spanking

that’s it that’s the pitch

H O T

living for beth’s exit in the first chapter, rio and i are both incredibly into it

second chapter also features violently possessive Rio who cannot deal with anyone messing with his girl so if that’s your thing boy howdy get on it

shake, baby, shake - openhearts

backread!!!!!

according to my bookmarks this was a reread but ???????

must’ve read it in the fugue state that followed reading for a moment we were strangers which is gr9 and I believe I have recced it before. If not, horrible oversight, reccing it now

beth and Rio POV lead up to the bathroom break, beautifully done, low-key feel bad reccing it bc the end point of both chapters makes me want to throw things but it’s super worth it for the tEnsiOn. ENJOY

What the Sea Wants, the Sea Will Have - flashindie / @pynkhues

I’m assuming all of y’all are already reading this

If not OH MY GOD FIX YOUR LIVES

P I R A T E A U

I’m sorry maybe you didn’t hear me piRaTE aU

meticulously researched, brain-meltingly vibrant, already painfully sexy slow-burning PIRATE AU

god where to start okay so first off, the world-building here straight up breaks my brain, sophie’s put in the work and it SHOWS

second, the atmosphere. i’m generally a pretty like, vague mental picture sort of reader but the sensory detail here grabs you by the throat and like, forcibly hauls you in whether your brain’s wired that way or no

and hey speaking of throats if you, like me, go a little funny about the knees at the idea of beth holding a knife to rio’s throat (he’s fine, calm down), there’s a v excellent beth-in-a-barrel moment for you

oh christ and the sexy tension

it’s gonna be a race to see which slow burn takes me out first, this or law school

Stunner - foxmagpie / @foxmagpie

Another high school AU, this time with baby Rio absolutely head over heels for his older sister’s bff

stunner!Rio has an emotional earnestness about him that I feel like delinquents!Rio has already outgrown and it’s so SWEET I can’t get enough

Desperately cute!!!!!!

alL he waNts iS foR beTh tO bE hiS girL

also unreasonably angsty???????

ANN ARBOR IS NOT THAT FAR MEGAN

A Heart's A Heavy Burden - tooshyforthis / @bathroombreaks

Howl’s Moving Castle AU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love Howl’s!!!!!!!!!!!

perfect opp to roast Rio for being a Dramatique Heaux

and it’s gonna be 9 chapters?????? H Y P E

author’s note boldly presumes I did not know I needed this AU when the reality is I did in fact know I needed this AU, I just wasn’t expecting anyone to deliver

so blessed

author also claims to not be team nose stud and yet it features prominently in all its magnificent glory

what is the truth dot gif

A Bit of a Stretch - septiembre / @septiembur

SO????? CUTE?????????

would be on this list for Rio calling Beth E alone tbh

really really really really really love this Rio POV of being settled into a relationship with Beth

It manages to be sweetly domestic af while still holding the edge that makes brio brio which is a neat trick

@septiembur may be a witch

beth’s approach to getting rio to do yoga with her is hilarious and exactly right, canon-typical amounts of subtlety

1000000/10

Post Break-Up Sex - femalegothic / @bethsuglywigs

stg this was called Hit Shuffle

no matter

h O T

with a side of damn i’ve made some questionable choices in my life haven’t i introspection

(no regrats tho)

(esp not with this fic)

not the point of the fic by a long shot but i’m also extremely obsessed with Weed Eddie, so real

She drains my soul... she drains it not - niham87 / @niham87

ABSOLUTELY OBSESSED WITH THIS CONCEPT

am a complete sucker for paranormal world building that satirizes bureaucracy

Is that a trope? If so that’s my favorite

I did it. I’m picking a single favorite. You know what that is growth dot gif

ANYWAY i love the concept, i love the humor, i love beth instantly clicking with annie

I love her and mick’s sort of grudging professional courtesy

Love beth as a champion of environmental responsibility and all of the underworld being like …...okay??

cannot wait to see where this goes

Nine-Tenths - riosnecktattoo / @riosnecktattoo

*INCOHERENT PTERODACTYL SCREECHING*

sometimes i think about rio putting beth’s hair in a ponytail and have to go lie down

science please explain why this rUinS mE

wait hold on i skipped ahead

HEY KIDS DO YOU LIKE UNBEARABLY CUTE DOMESTIC TENDERNESS

opens with rio sleepily holding beth’s hand to his heart so that’s the kind of thing you’ll be dealing with

uGH theY’RE sO CUTe

idk why precisely but rio adding hair ties to his bracelet collection is my undoing every time

Missed Call - foxmagpie / @foxmagpie

Rio doesn’t come home from a job when he’s supposed to. Beth (and I!!!!!!!) slowly loses her mind

Truly a masterpiece of rising tension

Will literally never forgive her for calling this light angst

I was SO STRESSED OUT

The first person to point out there was an author’s note at the beginning I obvs didn’t read is getting blocked

crush - foxmagpie / @foxmagpie

Listen even though this is centered around two OCs, they are OCs FROM a (n iconic) brio fic AND Beth, Ruby and Rio all make cameos (I mean, Rio’s pretty present since he lives in Mar’s mind rent free bc they are THE SWEETEST MOST ADORABLE BEST OF FRIENDS so idk if i’d call it a cameo but whatever)

and even if it didn’t feature any official GG characters I’d still rec is bc that’s mY SON AND this fic is TOO CUTE

I have so many feelings over mar and rio growing up and not knowing how to cope with girls becoming a Thing in their life and how it affects their friendship and mar feeling left behind but (SPOILERS) at the end of the story rio starts feeling that too and it’s so poignant knowing how that’s going to continue in delinquents

while mar may be my son, i also claim elena’s #1 stan status

before you’re like meg you’re only reccing it bc it’s a bday present ask yourselves do i really strike you as the kind of person that wouldn’t be equally obnoxious about this either way?

truly cannot fathom how hard i have fallen for these OCs i don’t normally do that

@foxmagpie is definitely a witch

The Ottoman - Niham87 / @niham87

look i will be the first to admit that i don’t go near as bonkers over the ottoman line in 308 as y’all do

(don’t get me wrong, i love it!!! I love that he laughs and i love that she’s pleased it just doesn’t hit my lose my whole mind button like idk, the dubby or the 306 convo, idk why)

BUT i v v v much love the context this delightful Rio POV pwp gives it

am also absolutely feral for 209 missing scene fic

and anything that captures the complexity of Rio’s s3 feelings for Beth and how twisted they’ve become

so this scratches a bunch of itches, is what i’m trying to say

Bet On It - zetuslapetus / @querenaxx

*INCOHERENT PTERODACTYL SCREECHING*

That’s what my brain does when I think about Beth and Rio meeting in ch 1

am DESPERATELY OBSESSED WITH the tension between the two of them in this fic

I love how it plays with the ways they have to rely on but don’t trust each other

plus FAKE DATING and BED SHARING (fair warning hasn’t happened yet but the set up is there)

originally supposed to be 2 chapters, already up to 4, prayer circle it goes on forever

do you like drugs (tonight) - s_t_c_s / @sothischickshe

v important focus on hydration, other fic should take note

extremely about the use of cut to and then flashback to enhance the ‘we were on drugs’ vibe

speaking of, beth and rio absolutely would take ecstasy to prove they are fun bc they are the exact kind of idiots that would peer pressure themselves

so glad beth kept her purse, got a bit stressed there for a second, clutches in that kind of circumstance are A Risk

not that i would know

FLAWLESS USE OF VOICEMAIL TBH

really love the ongoing denial that they are remotely into each other while proceeding to demonstrate how they are in fact, extremely into each other, great vibe

rio dances

I know my brain broke too

mmmm bacon

Navigate A Broken Path - flashindie / @pynkhues

*INCOHERENT PTERODACTYL SCREECHING*

I have a long standing tradition of getting unreasonably obsessed with side characters so i’m not like, entirely surprised by how obsessed i am with both Mick and Mary Pat but i never in a million years considered them as a ship

AND Y E T

they fit????? so perfectly?????? It’s amazing how she developes them individually enough that i look at them together and think ah yes this makes perfect sense for both characters

and they’re such an amazing foil to Beth and Rio?

can ships have foils? do i know what a foil is?

unimportant

GUYS you dON’T uNDERStAN d

hell i don’t understand

how absolutely very dare you make me care about YET ANOTHER set of gg ‘verse children

do not read this fic if you have no interest in feelings you zero percent asked for

wHA t hAPPeNED iN aLASkA?????????

A Moment’s Silence - femalegothic / @bethsuglywigs

*makes sign of the cross*

y’all are gonna make me rediscover religion

extremely appreciate the author’s note approach to backstory top notch prioritization

listen it’s basically 3k of beth deep throating rio idk what more you need me to say about it

it is…..good stuff

bless the kinkmeme or fest whatever we’re calling it

praise - civillove / @blainesebastian

I mean you had me at “three times rio calls beth a good girl and one time he really means it”

ephemeral rio

I left that note for myself in here in the middle of the night and haven’t the foggiest what i was thinking but i stand by it none the less

okay okay i think i know what i meant, this fic (as do all of my fav civillove brio fics) has this sort of like, liminal, in the quiet moments feel to them that makes the moments and feelings somehow feel like i’m catching a glimpse of something secret and precious???

idk i just really like it okay

Heart and Soul - riosnecktattoo / @riosnecktattoo

oh look more unbearably sweet domestic tenderness, this time to music

thank you ma’am for my life

rio remembers beth used to play piano and gets her one and revoltingly cute shenanigans result

also hilarity

and sexiness

this fic has it all, truly

shout out to mick who sees no reason to keep rio’s feelings to himself

good girls tumblr fic - prettylittlementirosa / @hypermania

cheating and reccing a whole series

It’s my list and i can do what i wanna

stop crying about it, it’s four fics and they’re all AMAZING absolutely impossible to pick a fav

truly flawless characterization, next level ability to capture evocative mood, cannot get enough

three’s a crowd: who knew ballroom dancing while dean watches and grinds his teeth could be so sexy

(trick question everything about that premise sounds A++++ and boy howdy does it live up)

feel it on the way home: rio tries to break up with beth, it goes about as well as you’d expect

(thE angSty tenSioN)

i want to play the game: [from the floor] i’m still not ready to talk about it

(rio/turner, missing scene, 10000000% a taste of what went down in that hotel room)

june after dark: pitch perfect annie pov, really really love the take that Annie is the baby whisperer, can’t fully explain why but it feels incredibly right

(ANNIE X NANCY COULD WORK SO WELL YOU GUYS)

#fingers crossed these links are right i did not double check #i like to live on the edge #truly mind boggling amount of fluff on this list i surprised myself on that one #no i will not at any point get my shit together enough to write out thoughtful commentary this is a shit posting blog first last and always #fic recs #gg fic #nbc good girls #i'll come up with a tag for these if i ever do them again #check back 37 years from now #or ~~~~~~march #whatever that means

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utenthy · 4 years ago

Note

ohhh my head. my head my head reading your phf posts ... they're so fucking good. i haven't read phf in a WHILE and it's one of my favourite pieces of jojo & i agree w you on how it's dubious canon status lets us pick and pull at it. i was wondering if you had any more thoughts on bruno or maybe even abbacchio in it ??? i'd love to hear<3

anon you are my angel my enabler of COURSE i have more thoughts on phf and i would love to share

i’m going to start with bruno. he definitely has More about him in phf than abbacchio does but a lot of it is just afterimpressions of him. there’s a lot of discussion about him as a figure post-mortem and not as much about his motivations and such while alive. he is very much revered within passione which yeah we all knew already from the series but one of the most interesting things is the bonus chapter where trish talks to his mother, and they both come to the conclusion that he was “an awful man.” i especially love trish’s assertion that maybe he tried his best but she still ended up abandoned. that is a really good throughline for bruno’s character. he gets wrapped up in being a savior, all bleeding heart and taking in strays, without giving any thought to what happens when he’s gone. he’s far too self-sacrificial to make any promises to these children you know. at the end of the day he COULDN’T take care of them, was exposing them to even more violence, but was absolutely stuck in this childlike confusion. i already talked a lot about how bruno weaponizes honesty to put him in power over them, too- he doesn’t consider boundaries all that important imo and he barrels right into these interactions with kids like You Are 13 And You Are Broken. But don’t worry! I will give you a purpose in life! i’d like to say bruno struggles with guilt over this but i don’t think he does. i think he is fully convinced that what he is doing is noble. fugo’s dream sequence also tells us a lot about buccellati, or at least fugo’s perception of bruno. he’s an idealist. a dreamer. the implication that they would all end up bound together in a team still in a world where bruno’s intervention could really and truly have changed their life for the better is really sad. if bruno’s father hadn’t died, he would not have to be in the gang. but he’d still try to be a savior. his moral failings towards his team-members in va are just ripple-effects of the way the world failed him. violence unto violence and so on. bruno could have been a good man, but ultimately he wasn’t, he couldn’t see his own wrongs. they were far too normalized for him. he thought involvement in drugs was the end-all be-all of the gang’s problems which really shows how he spent his youth growing completely numb to violent crime

phf has some reallly really interesting stuff irt abbacchio. i really like how fugo and abbacchio are closer partners in this story and it talks about how they would work together on assignments they thought bruno “couldn’t stomach”. all that i said just now about bruno’s dodgy moral code makes it feel ridiculous that i’d condemn him when fugo and abba are right here being FAR more immoral (fugo would much rather they just turn trish in, abbacchio has no problem with the drugs in passione) but at least the two of them never, ever claim to be very moral people. in fact, they have a lot in common in this respect, they both consider themselves to be BAD people. fundamental failures. i love love love the scene where fugo comes to see abbacchio in jail and abbacchio asks him how it is that he keeps on going when he’s a failure too, that he can “see the rot in (his) eyes”. ohhhhhhghghh. and when fugo explains he can keep going because of bruno, abbacchio begs to be given the same mercy. the both of them devote themselves to bruno. to them, he is a good man and a hero. for fugo, i think this goes insofar as he believes that bruno will lead him in the correct direction always, that he is wise and smart and kind and a hero to him. when he breaks that, when he clearly starts harming himself and putting everyone at risk, fugo bows out. abbacchio, however, does NOT do that. his devotion is of a different breed. it’s blind. fugo was still young, and despite everything he said, he had the ability to form more connections to life. he cared deeply for narancia. he wasn’t entirely hopeless, and bruno wasn’t all he had. he was able to make a name for himself in passione from his own successes. abbacchio didn’t, and couldn’t. all he had was bruno, his blind devotion. he did what bruno asked even if that meant sacrificing himself. he’d had the rot permeate him fully before he’d met bruno, and all that kept him afloat was this new cause to lay his life on the line for. abbacchio in the dream sequence is really interesting because he is so much kinder. i think all of their dream counterparts are kind of an idealistic world for fugo. it says fugo and abbacchio were never very close in the real world, despite working together so much. i think perhaps fugo really wanted him to be an adult he could trust, a success story of that similar rot in their eyes he could look up to. proof that redemption was viable! but that wasn’t how it really was. i think abbacchio stayed a slave to that rot up until his death. he was so willing to sacrifice himself because he thought redemption would never, ever be viable. all he could do was make his body into a weapon for a man he thought still had any chance at doing good.

#op #asks #phf #WHEW! LONG POST AGAIN #THANK you so very much for asking

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whats-rambled-rambled · 4 years ago

Text

Smoke&Mirrors - playlist

You can find it on Spotify here.

Let’s start from the beginning:

Imagine Dragons - Smoke and Mirrors

Okay, so with Stuck in reverse series everything started with one song that inspired me to write something, and you know what happened later.

With this new series, the idea came first (prompted by @vaneilla’s wonderful brain, and you know what? I actually went back to check that bit of convo, and it was all because @gallifreyan-uprising did what she did to TP, so I guess thank you both, ladies!), and then I was looking for THE song, that could serve as an inspiration and as a title.

And because all my best ideas come to me while driving, and I had Imagine Dragons in my car’s CD player… BOOM.

//I'm starting to cave

I'm losing my flame

I wanted your truth

But I wanted the pain

To disappear

Dream maker, life taker

Open up my mind

All I believe

Is it a dream

That comes crashing down on me?

All that I hope

Is it just smoke and mirrors?

I want to believe

But all that I know

Is it just smoke and mirrors?//

This just felt so fitting for Reader and her struggle a little later in the series, and smoke and mirrors alone seemed like just what I needed to capture the essence of the main conflict between Neil and R.

Chapter 1: Imagine Dragons - Natural

I had the title, I knew what I wanted to do in the first chapter, but I still had doubts if I could switch to this new dynamic. -Neil being mean? I mean how even-- I needed a good playlist to get myself in the right mood to set the tone for the whole series, and even when I found a few songs that were good enough, I knew that none of them was the one. And then again, on my way to work, this time from my Spotify playlist - Natural. I literally started screaming when I realized that it was exactly what I’d been looking for. Not only because of its badass vibe, but those lyrics, holy shit -

//That's the price you pay

Leave behind your heart and cast away

Just another product of today

Rather be the hunter than the prey

And you're standing on the edge face up

'Cause you're a natural

A beating heart of stone

You gotta be so cold

To make it in this world

Yeah, you're a natural

Living your life cutthroat

You gotta be so cold

Yeah, you're a natural//

This is R. “A beating heart of stone / You gotta be so cold / To make it in this world”. Because she might be all spiky and angry on the outside, but why is she that way? Because she has to. Because nothing ever came easy in her life.

And this is Neil, too. A true natural, as TP calls him. But he also plays a role, because he was put in a position he didn’t want. And not only by TP, but also by R. That scene in the bar? He really hopes to clear the air between them, but she is not ready to listen, and keeps antagonizing him. *sigh* We know how it ends up. Anyway -

bonus: Willyecho - Welcome to the fire

Found this one when I was looking for the vibe, and then those lyrics--:

//I'm focused

I've been watching for the omens

I've been listening to everything you've said

Its been running through my head

Locked and loaded

I've got the feeling that you've noticed

Yeah I've only just begun

I won't stop until it's done

'Til you're broken

So welcome to the fire

I'm the one who lit the night up//

-- because yes, R’s that mad at him, TP, the whole world at this point, really.

Chapter 2: Florence + the Machine - What kind of man

So you know, one of the challenges I’d set for myself for this series was to finally write a proper smut. God, was I stressed out (shoutout to my lovely friends who had to listen to my self-doubting whines for quite some time). And as I knew it was supposed to happen in this chapter, and I already had an appropriate build-up in mind, I needed a song. And it wasn’t this one, although it made its way to the chapter’s playlist. But as I actually wrote the whole thing down… I felt it had that vibe.

//You were on the other side, like always

You could never make you mine//

Oh R, my sweet summer child.

//To let me dangle at a cruel angle

Oh, my feet don't touch the floor

Sometimes you're half in and then you're half out

But you never close the door

What kind of man loves like this?//

And that part is just so fitting with the whole confusion.

bonus: Graffiti Ghosts - Last man standing

The one behind the shooting range sequence:

//Your trigger finger better think about your future

You’re getting twisted thinking I don’t want to shoot ya

I’ve been waiting for a long time

and I’m coming back to get what’s mine

Sick of living with your little double faces

I’m getting itchy and so livid I can taste it

I’ve been waiting for a long time

and I’m swinging til I get what’s mine

but I’m not going down

I’m not going down//

Can’t say that R isn’t fantasizing about shooting Neil at some point, it’s all I’m saying. And the vibe was all right, and worked for the sparring scene as well.

bonus: Zayde Wolf - New Blood

I needed decent background music to write that sparring scene, you know - to hype myself up. And then found this song. Look at the lyrics:

//I spent my whole life chained to the wall

Hunger for more, not afraid to fall

Had to cut a man down to get where I am

But someone had to tumble, and someone had to stand

Don't try to fight, nothin' you can do

I'm gonna run all over you

It's too late to try, there's nothin' you can do

I'm gonna run all over you//

and

//Most of my life was heavy and hard, yeah

So many days, so many scars

But it was all of those years who make who I am, yeah

But I broke through, and here I stand, yeah//

Added to the playlist instantly. You can see it too, right?

bonus: Nothing But Thieves - Itch

I love this band and I’m eternally grateful that my dear friend @connie-nikas itroduced me to their music. Spotify suggested that it fit the mood for the playlist I already had for that part, so I checked the lyrics and YES:

//There's a hunger in my heart

It's full of promise, promise

There's an itch under my skin

It's under my skin, under my skin//

...

//There's a blood red on my shirt

And it's shining, shining

There's a sharp pain from my face

I kinda like it, I like it//

...

//I just wanna love

I just wanna touch

I just wanna see

'Cause I, I just wanna feel something real

Wanna feel something//

It fits more than one moment in the series, but that blood part seemed accurate for sparring, so it stayed in this chapter.

bonus: Dorothy - Wicked ones

Another Spotify suggestion, and it works pretty well for these dumbasses, although this part:

//This night ain't for the faint of heart

For the faint of heart, for the faint of heart

This night ain't for the faint of heart

'Cause the faint of heart gonna fall apart//

--this got me going while I was having heart palpitations as I was getting closer to the locker scene lol.

And then:

//Ain't no sleep when the wicked play

All we do is get laid, uuh uh uuh uuh

Ain't no love when the wicked run

All we do is try to lay off, lay off, lay off

We're the wicked ones, wicked ones//

Fits, right?

bonus: Muse - Undisclosed desires

I -blame- have to thank M for this one, and it was my initial title song for this part. Just see for yourselves:

//I know you've suffered

But I don't want you to hide

It's cold and loveless

I won't let you be denied

Soothing, I'll make you feel pure

Trust me, you can be sure

I want to reconcile the violence in your heart

I want to recognize your beauty's not just a mask

I want to exorcise the demons from your past

I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart

You trick your lovers

That you're wicked and divine

You may be a sinner

But your innocence is mine

Please me, show me how it's done

Tease me, you are the one//

It just -- it’s not only about that one scene. Maybe it would be even better for part 3? Anyway, could be sung to R almost word for word, right?

Chapter 3: Nothing But Thieves - You know me too well

One of my favourites from this band, and I knew it had to be a title of some part of the story. Because:

//I gave you a call

Baby, I could come by, help forget it all

'Cause in this sticky weather, oh, it's really hard to sleep

As you know all too well

And when we dig together, oh, you make me feel so cheap

But I can't help myself

Filthy impetuous soul

I wanna give it to you

Oh, just to see what you do

'Cause I'm so drunk on you

Baby, you're all that I want

I want you all to myself

Oh, but you know me too well//

So yeah, filthy impetuous soul was only fair to use for that bathroom, right?

//And maybe you're right

We don't get on so well, when we lose the high//

That’s them at this point, all right.

//'Cause every love story always end in tragedy

If you wait long enough//

Oh hello, R’s beliefs here, clear as night.

//Renew me 'cause sometimes I forget

Got my own two hands clenched around my neck//

Could be said by both of them at this point, tbh.

bonus: Leann Rimes - Can’t fight the moonlight

So let me be frank - I knew I wanted to put that bathroom scene somewhere for quite some time, so it’s written purely for self-indulgence. I just needed to find an opportunity. And during one of the brainstorming sessions with A (because she was so kind to help me out with figuring things out when I stumbled over certain plot points, and I can’t thank her enough), the idea of karaoke night came to life and she gave me this song and fuck yes! That was it!

One of my favourite Neil headcanons is that he likes cheesy songs, and Coyote Ugly movie has a special place in my heart, so I just knew it was the one for him! Especially because:

//Under the lovers sky

Gonna be with you

And no one's gonna be around

If you think that you won't fall

Well just wait until

'Til the sun goes down//

it’s just perfect if you wanna kinda seduce/kinda embarrass someone, right? And also:

//You can try to resist

Try to hide from my kiss

Don't you know, don't you know

That you, can't fight the moonlight

Deep in the dark, you'll surrender your heart//

Because yes, he wanted to kiss her in that locker room, that’s a thing you do when you’re attracted to someone, right? He thought it was just because of this whole angry sex thing, but was aware of that all the time, that’s why R’s reaction in the bathroom alarms him. I mean it would make him stop anyway, but still.

bonus: Ruelle - Until we go down

The mood progression in this song fried my brain, absolutely amazing!

The lyrics, too:

//And I feel it running through my veins

And I need that fire just to know that I'm awake

Erased, I missed till the break of day

And I need that fire just to know that I'm awake

Until we go down//

bonus: Bishop Briggs - Wild horses

Another song that captures the spirit of what’s going on in R’s head.

//You hold me down in the best way

No quarter from these chains that I've

Slept on my heart for a feeling

Why can't I let my demons out?

Keep screaming into the pillow

Cause your taste still gets me stupid high

Oh glory, I'm a believer

Oh glory, I'm a troubler//

At this point, she’s well aware of the effect Neil has on her, and the internal conflict is strong in this one.

//You call my truth in the worst way

Through the dirty lands of a broken smile

And I swear I'm not a pretender

Sometimes it's love who's the baby's cry

So, I keep on damning the devil

And you keep on saying it's alright

Oh glory, I'm a believer

Oh Lord, I'm holding tight, but//

And the whole vibe of this song, it’s like fuck I’m losing my mind, but I want you and I want you now. Just makes my breath hitch.

bonus: Transviolet - Bloodstream

And as I needed a certain mood, -(ended up actually writing with TENDER in the background because apparently I need a complete opposite mood seeping through my headphones to write any smut at all but anyway...)-, and this song is just...wow.

//Fingertips drip down my spine

Cruel desire, danger in our consequence

You look my way and I lose my…

Hey, you wanna rule the world?

Outlaw love, make you lose control

Hey, hey, boy you got me like whoa

White hot, adrenaline baby

In my veins, you got me praying

Whoa, whoa, whoaaaa

My pretty blue lips begging

Take me, I need you in my bloodstream

Hold me, break me

My breath is for holding, overdose me

I need you in my bloodstream

Hold me, break me, break me//

Hot. I won’t be taking any notes.

Chapter 4: Aimee Mann - Save me

You remember that part 4 was supposed to be the last one? Don’t ask me, I don’t know how I would manage to get that emotional progression from these dumbasses by the end of that part, so I’m glad y’all voted on splitting it into 2 (and then another 2) parts. But I already had a playlist for the finale, and then had to make a new one, and then had too many possible title songs.

Why did this one win? Because in my brain it’s directly connected to my OTP and also fits this part of the story. I battled myself if it was a spoiler or not (and also had trouble getting to terms with R ever admitting that she needs to be saved), but then thought - eh, what the hell, it has the right lyrics and a proper mood, and here it is.

//You look like a perfect fit

For a girl in need of a tourniquet

But can you save me

Come on and save me

If you could save me

From the ranks of the freaks

Who suspect they could never love anyone//

and that shift to this part, oh my heart:

//Except the freaks

Who suspect they could never love anyone

Except the freaks who could never love anyone.//

bonus: Jamie O'Neal - All by myself

Okay, so the car scene was in my mind for a little while, and in the initial outline, aka part 4 is the finale I couldn't find a place for it and thought I might end up making a one shot out of it, so when I actually had enough time to write it into the story, I was so excited!

I was looking for a song, and the first one that came to my mind was Air Supply - All out of love, but I could never beat what Jensen Ackles did in the outtakes of that one Supernatural episode, so I had to abandon that song, sadly. And then I thought about the one with basically the same vibe and *ding ding ding*. And of course Neil would know it. And would know what movie this is from (just look at him and try telling me he doesn’t like British rom-coms, I dare you). And would tease R about it. (and that’s why I used that cover of this song).

//Hard to be sure

Sometimes I feel so insecure

And loves so distant and obscure

Remains the cure

All by myself

Don't wanna be

All by myself

Anymore//

bonus: Meg Myers - Motel

I’ve discovered Meg’s music just because of Spotify’s recommendations, and oh my god, it’s amazing! And this song just felt right for their talk during the stakeout, just look at the lyrics:

//You're weak, broken in a motel

You blink, tears are falling down, down, down

And you're free, free inside your own hell

You speak, someone let me out, out, out

And I can't stop this pain, it only grows

Tell me why I always feel alone

And I can't fight this feeling anymore

Show me what I'm really living for

I wanna love, wanna live, wanna breath, wanna give

But it's hard and it's dark and we're doomed from the start

I wanna love, wanna live, wanna breathe, wanna give

But it's hard and it's dark and I'm falling apart//

ahh, nothing like a good old angst, am I right? Perfect for writing about the more vulnerable sides of them.

bonus: Fear Of Men - Sane

There is just something in this song that resonates deeply, you know?

//I see you drowning

Half flesh half stone

With ambitions that drain your health

You hear me

(Secrets)

You run from me

You hear me

(You hear me)

I know

You hear me

(Secrets)

You run from me

You hear me

(You hear me)

You know, you know, you know

It’s in your eyes when you’re perfectly sane

It’s in your blood when you can’t bear these heavy thoughts again

It’s in your eyes when you’re perfectly sane

It’s in your blood when you can’t bear these heavy thoughts again//

bonus: Laura Doggett - Beautiful undone

That track almost ended up as the title. When I stumbled upon this song, I was completely blown away, as in I-had-it-on-repeat-for-4h-straight blown away.

//I took you walking

Through the murmurations of my mind//

that line just strikes me right through the heart, and it gets even better later:

//I'm looking down and my heart's connected

I'm feeling love from a different view

We learn the most when we least expect it

We learn the most when we break in two//

I don’t think that any of them expects to learn more about each other during that one mission. I mean sure, Neil counts on it, but doesn’t know what it's gonna be. And if she lets him into his head at all.

//You know you're beautiful undone

(Shine on)

So beautiful undone

You look beautiful undone

(Hearts connected)

My boy of blue.//

My boy of blue. I don’t know why it screamed Neil to me, but it did.

//It's the cracks that let the light shine

It's the cracks that let the light shine through.//

And that’s exactly it.

Chapter 5: LAUREL - Blue blood

Okay, THIS song, as soon as I heard it, I was like - this is it, this is her.

//You woke me up for your blue blood

Made me come undone

Can't believe you've been here the whole time

Too nice to pass you by and I can't believe

You've been here the whole time

You made me feel again

Made me dance circles 'round the pieces of your heart

You made me feel again

After the last time, didn't think that I could love//

That “was he always so gorgeous” moment, right? When she just sees him for the first time this way. And is slowly coming to terms with her feelings.

bonus: Prep School - Come as you are

So this one… We all know the original song (or this is my old ass talking), but only when I heard this cover, I really felt it, you know?

//Come as you are, as you were

As I want you to be

As a friend, as a friend

As an old enemy//

Just made me think about R being ready to get to know Neil better. About the shift in their dynamic.

//When I swear that I don't have a gun

No I don't have a gun//

She lets her guard down, and is ready to trust him.

Also - how great is the mood of this song? That crescendo just takes my breath away, and that calmer moment at the end? Good god. Utter perfection.

bonus: Ray LaMontagne - Such a simple thing

I’ve been sitting on this song for quite some time, and just had to find a suitable moment for it. And this was it.

//Tell me what you're feeling

I can take the pain

Tell me that you mean it

That you won't leave again

Tell me what your heart wants

Such a simple thing

My heart is like paper

Yours is like a flame

I can't make you see

If you don't by now

I'll get through these chains

Some how, some how

Take it if you want it

I'm so tired I just don't care

Can't you see how much you hurt me?

It's like I wasn't there//

My heart just aches while I listen to this song. It’s so tender, and yet so heartbreaking.

bonus: Keane - Hamburg sing

When A sent me this song, god, the way I screamed. Because this is so Neil.

//I don't wanna be adored

Don't wanna be first in line

Or make myself heard

I'd like to bring a little light

To shine a light on your life

To make you feel loved

No, I don't wanna be the only one you know

I want to be the place you call home

I lay myself down to make it so

But you don't want to know

I give much more than I'd ever ask for

Will you see me in the end

Or is it just a waste of time?

Trying to be your friend?

Just shine, shine, shine

Shine a little light

Shine a light on my life

And warm me up again//

At this point in the story, he already fell for her hard. And can just hope that she sees him at one point, too.

You know, writing that first really intimate moment between them-- I know I was supposed to be on R’s side, but I knew what was going on in Neil’s head at that point (that’s why I was so happy when Chels asked that one question that made me write Come as you are) and... I don’t know, I’m so soft for this idiot, I just want to hug him.

//Fool, I wonder if you know yourself at all

You know that it could be so simple//

My dumbasses.

Chapter 6: Phantogram - You’re mine

We’re gonna save this one for the very end, just mentioning it here as we move to the next chapter.

bonus: Adna - Night

You know that sad music montage thing that the movies do after a breakup scene or something? This song has that exact vibe.

//Silence grows and you're all i know

Eyes are closed, I'll see your smile, your love

Thinking

This is what

It could be

Knowing

It is all

It would be

In the night

When you see

What i see

In the night when you feel

What i mean

You're my knight

And my dream

And my only sight

Oh you

Stay true//

For me, it’s the beginning of chapter 6. R is almost heartbroken, and that almost comes from the part of her that still thinks that still fights the idea that she might have any feelings for that blonde idiot. Conceal, don't feel, or something. But she’s being haunted by random memories from their time together.

bonus: Snow Patrol - Make this go on forever

This song makes my heart ache and clench and oh my god--

//Please don't let this turn into something it's not

I can only give you everything I've got

I can't be as sorry as you think I should

But I still love you more than anyone else could

All that I keep thinking throughout this whole flight

Is it could take my whole damn life to make this right

This splintered mast I'm holding on won't save me long

Because I know fine well that what I did was wrong//

This works for the sad montage thing I’ve mentioned, but it was all about this line:

//First kiss and the first time that I felt connected to anything//

I was listening to it on my way home one day and my eyes welled up. Because that’s what I wanted both of them to feel right then.

//And I don't know where to look

My words just break and melt

Please just save me from this darkness//

and these lines just brought the image of Neil stumbling over his words and, well, that was it. I knew it had to be done like that.

bonus: Walking On Cars - Speeding Cars

This song is about something different, but there is one part that resonated with the story:

//Even the half smile would have slowed down the time

If I could call you half mine

Maybe this is the safest way to go//

Just fits. Had to be there.

bonus: Etham - Before I lose my mind - Stripped

I think I found this one a while ago, and then it came on when I had Spotify on shuffle, and oh myyyy goooood. That heart-wrenching yearning? So, so on point.

//Look at the state I'm in

I couldn’t say where I've been

Lord knows that it ain't felt like home//

This is as much R’s song, as it is Neil’s.

//I don't know what

I've been running from, running from

Or what I thought I would find

All I know is

You're the only one, only one

I need you tonight

Before I lose my mind//

and this part:

//Don't tell me that I’m too late this time

So much I couldn’t see

With words that I didn't speak

What do I have to do to make you mine?//

This part of the playlist is just utter heartbreak and yearning, but it was only fitting. Just moments before the confession.

bonus: Nick Wilson - Let me hold you

On repeat for the whole part with Neil’s confession. This song is so goddamn beautiful, I can’t--.

//We've been there before

Reaching the end but forgetting the reason we started this for

In all of our flaws

Laid out beneath us, there's no need to keep building up these walls

(Oh we can't go on)

Just let me hold you

I'll run my fingers through your hair

Let our ghost loose

Let me know that you're still there//

bonus: Liz Longley - Rescue my heart

This, on the other hand, started playing right after, and I partially blame it for R’s breakdown. I was just staring at that line about her being afraid to lose him and I was like “where the hell this came from, girl?” and then, as I was trying to push them both further into the plot, but they kinda refused to let each other go, so I was sitting there like “you guys really needed that, huh?”

I know what it sounds like. But when I spend so much time with my characters, really fleshing them out in every possible way, they kinda develop minds of their own, and later they guide me through the dialogue parts, and even sometimes ruin my initial plans. Because they know best how they would behave right then. So all I have to do is just follow them. Or try reasoning with them. (Had a moment like that at the end of the first scene in chapter 6, like had this feeling that R just wanted to dwell on the nature of her relationship with Ives, but I didn’t want to put it there so openly, I was happy with leaving a line here and there, so I had to put my foot down pff - and it switched into that bit about friendships in general)

Right, back to the song:

//Lying to myself I can make it on my own

Making it alone is lonely

Twisting and I'm turning

Oh I'm crashing and I'm burning

So reach out your hand to me

Come down

Rescue my heart I'll drown

Without you//

This is it.

bonus: Madonna - I want you

You know, one of my favourite parts of the writing process is just bumping the ideas around, and I have been blessed to have a wonderful friend such as M, who’s always there when I need to discuss different ideas or just got a bit of dialogue I really want to share. And knowing what I was writing, she sent me this song.

And I’ve been listening to it a lot ever since, and when Neil started his confession, and struggled with words, I wrote: "I want…you.” He moved closer. “The right way.”

I stopped, staring at that line, like really, Neil? This is it? Then the next song from the playlist started playing and:

//I want you the right way

I want you, but I want you to want me too//

So I just sighed and moved on, dropping a short message to M on the way.

bonus: Welshly Arms - Need you tonight

Spotify recommends the best covers, hands down. I love the original song, but this right here? It’s everything.

//How do you feel

I'm lonely

What do you think

Can't take it all

What ya gonna do

Gonna live my life

So slide over here

And give me a moment

Your moves are so raw

I've got to let you know

You're one of my kind

I need you tonight

'Cause I'm not sleeping

There's something about you girl

That makes me sweat//

bonus: TENDER - Afternoon

Every song of theirs is just incredibly sensual, so I thought it was only fair to include one of those for the scene (thank you again A, their music is everything, I swear). And this one was particularly accurate:

//I'm spendin' all of my time tryna open up

Let it breathe, let it breathe

It all comes down

To whether you love me anymore

God, I hope you do

'Cause I can't tell, I can't tell

By the look in your eyes//

bonus: Layla - Weightless

Another one for that moment.

//A silver whisper, take flight and steal into my mouth

An urge to kiss you and let this secret pleasure out

Your touch so tender, a helpless roar of golden play

This youthful slender, hallucinate my woes away

We are weightless

We are invincible

Nothin' like this

Flyin' like cannonballs//

bonus: Rob Simonsen - Soft center

While I was discussing the main plot points with A, we knew there had to be a morning after scene, and she had just a song for it. Utter perfection.

end credits: Phantogram - You’re mine

I know I say it a lot, but when A sent it to me… The way I screamed. I couldn’t believe it. The story was already like 2 parts in, I think? And this song...every line was about them. Every. Goddamn. One. And the overall I just thought to myself “oh, end credits rolling right here.”

//You don't talk to no one

Don't you look at nothing

Focus on me

Look into my eyes

Come a little closer

Let me tell you something

Eat your ego honey

Honey swallow your pride

You don't talk to no one

Don't you look at nothing

Focus on me

Look into my eyes

Come a little closer

Let me tell you something

You ain't going anywhere

'Cause you mine//

And from this part it gets even better:

//I used to be a rifle

Yeah I had my distance,

Whistling like a bullet in the sky//

//I used to be a psycho

Yeah I had my demons,

Crawling like a spider up my spine//

*incoherent screaming*

And the next part took me right back to the very first scene.

//I spotted you the second I walked in the building

I knew that you had let me get you high//

Right? Right???

//I wanna hear the things you say when no-one's listening

But that don't matter anyway...

'Cause you're mine//

And that’s it.

Damn, what a wild ride that was.

Thank you for staying with me until the very end.

#smoke & mirrors #smoke & mirrors playlist #bts smoke & mirrors

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passmeabook · 4 years ago

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Servamp Tarot Analysis: Kamiya Tsurugi

I’ve decided to do an analysis of the tarot cards in Servamp. Many of the meanings are taken straight from the books they were found in because I feel they explain the meaning of the trumps better than my own words could. I’m looking not only at the official tarot cards assigned to characters, but also headcanon unofficial cards that may have been quietly assigned by the author.

First up is Kamiya Tsurugi. The official card assigned to him in canon is The Hanged Man. In this analysis I will also share headcanons of how he has been unofficially assigned the cards of: Justice and Death.

The Hanged Man #12

Number: XII

Alternative Name: The Traitor

Numerology Link: III, The Empress

Astrological Sign: Neptune

Element: Water

Hebrew Letter: Mem

Symbol: Water and the Oceans

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The Hanged Man XII

The Hanged Man Key Meanings:

Transition

Waiting

Sacrifice

Enlightenment

Upright Meaning:

“Events are not moving with speed, but all you can do is wait patiently in the knowledge that the universe has its own plan. The card can also indicate that you may have made sacrifices just now and are eager to see rewards. Unfortunately, you cannot force an outcome that fits with your timetable. There are many other factors about which you can have no knowledge or influence. Therefore, you may also expect delays to travel plans and projects… On a creative level this card appears frequently when a person is feeling frustration with their progress… Another message from the Hanged Man is to try to see things from a new angle.” (Dean).

“In readings the Hanged Man bears the message of independence. Like the Fool, which signified doing what you sensed was best, even if other people thought it foolish, the Hanged Man indicates being who you are, even if others think you have everything backwards. It symbolizes the feeling of being deeply connected to life and can mean a peace that comes after some difficult trial.” (Pollack.).

Feeling trapped

Confined

Self-limiting

Uncertainty

Lack of Direction

Needing Release

Letting Go

Reversed Meaning:

“The Hanged Man reversed can be a sign of rigid thinking and martyrdom. You may need to revise your expectations; what you think you want may not be possible. In this position, the card asks you if you are hanging on to a fantasy that may make you a victim rather than a victor. Take another view and liberate yourself from a contract or other obligation that cannot offer you what you want.” (Dean).

“The trump reversed indicates an inability to get free of social pressure. Rather than listen to our inner selves we do what others expect or demand of us. Our awareness of life always remains second-hand, never a direct experience but only a series of stereotypes, like the person who models his or her behavior on the orders of parents and the actions of movie stars. The card reversed can also mean fighting your inner self in some way. It can mean the person who tries to deny some basic part of himself or simply the person who cannot accept reality and who in some way or other is constantly battling life.” (Pollack.).

Discontentment

Apathy

Disinterest

Stagnation

Impulsiveness

Negative Patterns

Detachment

The Hanged Man understands that his position is a sacrifice he needed to make in order to progress forward. The time he spends dangling from the tree will not be wasted on his journey. The hanging is not death, but life in stillness. It could be a repentance for past wrongdoings or even a calculated step back to rethink the path he will take once he continues on with his journey. If an approach isn’t working then look at things from a different angle to gain a new perspective. This card is one that tells its reader that waiting and suspension are sometimes what you need to do in order to achieve success. Sometimes action is not needed, and one needs to wait patiently for the proper opportunity.

The Message of the Hanged Man:

Use your time wisely.

The Hanged Man & Numerology:

“TAROT SYMBOLISM: Key 12 The Hanged Man. The keyword for the Hanged Man is reversal. The corresponding symbol means oasis, sea, or water. According to the alchemists, water was the basis of all life, the fluid substance that solidified into physical forms… Water was the first mirror in which the reflection always appears upside down. The significance of this card is that things are not as they appear on the surface. You must look beneath the surface for true understanding. The man is suspended by his foot, like a pendulum at rest. His crossed legs form a figure 4, indicative of key 4 Reason. His elbows and head form a triangle with the point down which is an ancient symbol for water. The Hanged Man represents a person who is poised in consciousness and under perfect control… He sees trouble in the world--people unhappy in marriage, in trouble financially and lost because they have no goals--and he knows it is because they all see things upside down. Yet they look at him and think that he is the one who is crazy. The Hanged Man’s philosophy sets him apart from the crowd and, at the same time, brings him peace of mind and perfect contentment.” (Javane and Bunker.) [Emphasis mine.]

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Looking at these meanings and ideas I find that Tsurugi very strongly if not perfectly embodies the Hanged Man.

I speculate that for a majority of the C3 arc Tsurugi is in the position of the reversed Hanged Man. The lines that really stood out to me while researching this were, “Rather than listen to our inner selves we do what others expect or demand of us.” and “In this position, the card asks you if you are hanging on to a fantasy that may make you a victim rather than a victor.” because they seem to fit Tsurugi so well. Tsurugi clings to Touma and the idea of family he idealized Touma as being. Tsurugi also does what others expect of him, and before his breaking away from Touma just did what others wanted him to do. Even in the TAROT SYMBOLISM section that I highlighted the line about things not appearing as they seem on the surface resonated with me about Tsurugi because despite Tsurugi’s smiles on the surface inwardly he has a lot of trauma.

The symbolism the Hanged Man has with the connections to water, the oceans, and the planet Neptune also tie into together with Tsurugi. Water as an element is related to the Cups suit. Cups/Water has the meaning of “I feel”; the suit focuses on emotions and relationships. The planet Neptune, the Roman name for Poseidon the Greek god of the seas, holds the symbolic meanings of: dreams, intuition, and imagination. Which negatively connects to Tsurugi and his inability to metaphorically grow up, dreams and imagination being viewed as childish, but also to his magic Neverland. In the series we’ve seen Tsurugi be visually connected to water rather directly. Both in his drowning before being saved by The Mother/Freya in Ch. 56 “A Windowless Room”/Ch. 57 “Born” and also in the bonus chapter Ch. 57.5 “The Person Searching for the Key” where Tsurugi is underwater behind his locked door. Tsurugi is also an incredibly emotional person, and has worked on coming to terms with his emotions and what he really feels instead of just doing as other people tell him too.

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Tsurugi’s/The Hanged Man’s Dilemma:

A great showing of Tsurugi and his dilemma of choosing between the upright and the reversed meaning of The Hanged Man is in Ch. 52 where Tsurugi is caught between Touma and Junichiro in making his decision to follow Touma’s orders or to heed to Junichiro’s words.

In Ch. 52 we have the scene where Junichirou and Touma are asking Tsurugi to come to a decision. Tsurugi is physically in the position of the Hanged Man, but he’s divided down the middle into a black side and a white side. On the black side where Touma asks him, “Are you going to ignore what I say again?” Tsurugi’s hair follows the course of gravity as if he were standing up, his long length of ribbon does as well, and his hood lays flat against his shoulder. Compare this to the white side, Junichiro’s side: the background is white and Tsurugi’s hair, hood, and ribbon follow the path of gravity that they naturally would if Tsurugi were hanging upside down. This choosing of Touma, and of the reversed meaning of the Hanged Man, allows readers to see that Tsurugi is not following the upright meaning of the Hanged Man, and that his trump has yet to be flipped to the upright position.

In the side by side comparison Tsurugi’s collar is black on Junichiro’s side and white on Touma’s, but when Tsurugi chooses Touma the collar is black. The collar represents both control and Tsurugi allowing others to make decisions for him. The removal of the collar in Ch. 74 represents Tsurugi taking control of his personal agency and decision making.

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Headcanon Tarot Analysis:

Tsurugi is directly portrayed as the Hanged Man in Ch. 50 “The Hanged Man”. The closest version visually of the Hanged Man as it is as a trump card is on the cover page of the chapter. Then we have another section in this chapter later on which portrays Tsurugi as both hero and criminal. Right before this Mahiru has just asked Tsurugi if he has been fighting to protect people all this time. Tsurugi denies this and instead tells Mahiru that to humans he is viewed as a hero, but to vampires he is viewed as a genocider.

What is fascinating is that visually he’s portrayed as physically being in the position of the hanged man, only as both lauded hero and condemned criminal. As the hero of humanity he’s in a upright Hanged Man position. As the criminal he is in a reversed Hanged Man position with a noose. Looking at the two side comparisons I feel that they both represent #11 Justice & #13 Death more so than the Hanged Man, “In the major arcana sequence, the Hanged Man falls after XI, Justice, and before XIII, Death. We had our values on trial in Justice, and now we must hold on until Death, when we can figuratively let go. Death brings transformation, while the Hanged Man prepares to make the sacrifice Death needs so he can move on.” (Dean)

Justice XI

Justice Key Meanings:

Fairness

Balance

Perception

Objectivity

With Tsurugi wearing a cape and a sword I feel it represents a reversed #11 Justice. Tsurugi’s hero is in the upright position for the Hanged Man, but in the reversed position for Justice. Trump XI portrays the personification of upright Justice on a throne with scales and a sword. Important to see is that the Justice trump is not blindfolded, her vision is clear. The scales held in her left hand represent favoring the deserving with the scales of mercy, and the upright sword in her right hand represents seeking retribution for past wrongs with the sword of retribution. The scales also symbolize the thought process put into making a judgement, and weighing both sides of a story. The sword symbolizes the action that results from judgement. The sword, when it is held upright, symbolizes success.

Tsurugi as a reversed Justice fits in many ways. Tsurugi, as an instrument for furthering Touma’s and C3’s plans, is furthering the goals of those that use him via corrupt justice. Vampires are captured we've seen, but are they given legal trials and do they have protected rights? From what we’ve seen of C3 I highly doubt it. Hence why he is in the position of reversed Justice. Tsurugi has often been connected to a sword, and his name can even mean “sword”, look at the sword of hero-Tsurugi. It is covered in blood, but Tsurugi’s arms are held behind his back. The blood on the sword is not boldly in your face, and is even a bit hidden behind Tsurugi and a speech bubble. Tsurugi does not hold the sword in his hand showing that he himself does not actively choose to to make any decisions with the sword, and instead I feel it represents Tsurugi's passivity and his following what others want and will of him. Later on we also see that when Touma manipulates Tsurugi with his spell power Tsurugi becomes blindfolded, and this is perhaps a symbolism of justice being both blind (traditionally) and blinded (corruption hiding the truth).

#11 Justice Reversed

“Reversed, the card indicates dishonesty with yourself and others. It shows an unwillingness to see the meaning of events and shows especially that you are missing some opportunity for a greater understanding of yourself and your life. In outer life it indicates dishonesty and unfair actions or decisions. Sometimes it is others who are unfair to us. The reversed meaning can refer also to unjust legal decisions or to bad treatment from someone. On the other hand we must not allow the suggestion of unfairness to act as an excuse for denying our own responsibility for what happens to us… ‘Nothing can save you but yourself.’” (Pollack.).

“Life goes out of balance as work, relationships, and money issues spiral out of control. A decision may go against you, so there may be dishonesty or a miscarriage of justice. You are treated unfairly, which is compounded by bad advice from a trusted individual. You are not able to speak your truth and feel overruled by those who don’t understand your predicament. It is important to find your voice and stay strong to your values- if you are in the right.” (Dean).

Death XIII

Death Key Meanings:

Decline

Rebirth

Transformations

Change

As the condemned criminal Tsurugi is in the reversed position of the Hanged Man, but he’s also in the upright position for Death. With Tsurugi wearing traditional black and white striped prisoner clothing and have a noose around his neck I feel this gives weight to the idea of connecting him to #13 Death. Tsurugi in this side comparison is on a scaffold. He wears the clothes of a criminal and he seems to be a minute away from hanging. Yet, the noose around his neck is loose. As the Hanged Man trump has told us, the Hanged Man is not going to die. Instead he is merely hanging around waiting. The trump card Death arrives after the Hanged Man as death follows a hanging. Only in the case of the Hanged Man this is a spiritual death and rebirth after a time of contemplation. The black and white colors Tsurugi wears are associated with Death in the thirteen trump. In the trump Death wears black armor and sits astride a white horse while holding a black and white flag in his left hand. The thirteen trump is associated with change, an extreme change in your life to be exact. When I read this page I see Tsurugi’s Reversed Justice representing who he is right now, and that his Upright Death represents that he needs to and will undergo a great change. Especially since the manga is written in Japanese and we read the pages from right to left.

#13 Death Upright

“In diviniatory readings Death signifies a time of change. Often, it indicates a fear of change. In its most positive aspect it shows a clearing away of old habits and rigidness to allow a new life to emerge. In its most negative aspect it indicates a crippling fear of physical death.” (Pollack.).

“Death brings ending and beginnings-sometimes all at once. This is a time of fast and deep transformation and an opportunity to let go of whatever you no longer need. Unlike card XX, Judgement, which signals a process of self-examination, Death’s impact is sudden and may be shocking. You have little control over external events when Death looms, but in time you will be able to see this sharp change in circumstances as a blessing. A break with the past-from relationships and friendships to work that is no longer satisfying-is the only way forward. In this sense, Death can be a release and a relief. Death, after all, is the ultimate reality check, and he leaves you with the bare bones, the truth.” (Dean).

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These are the views I have on Tsurugi and his tarot cards. I also thought about him perhaps having reference to the Ace of Swords, him being C3′s Ace and his name relating to a sword, but just decided to focus on the major arcana for now. Maybe I’ll do another post about that at a later date. I had fun writing this. I hope to make more posts like this in the future, but if I do they will likely be very, very sporadic.

References:

Dean, Liz. The Ultimate Guide to Tarot: A Beginner's Guide to the Cards, Spreads, and Revealing the Mystery of the Tarot. Fair Winds Press, 2015.

Javane, Faith, and Dusty Bunker. Numerology and the Divine Triangle. Whitford Press, 1997.

Pollack, Rachel. Seventy Eight Degrees of Wisdom A Book of Tarot Part 1: The Major Arcana. Aquarian Press, 1980.

#servamp #kamiya tsurugi #servamp meta #servamp tarot analysis #tsurugi kamiya #servamp tarot

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reversemoon255 · 4 years ago

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Digimon Adventure: Last Evolution - Kizuna

I’ve been a fan of Digimon since I first watched it as a kid, but I’m also one of those weird fans where I’m more excited to see the series give us something new rather than treading old ground (I’m not very nostalgic in general), so I wasn’t actually that excited for Kizuna, especially after the terrible experience it was to sit through Tri. Still, the movie surprised me, and grabbed me a lot more than I though it would. I didn’t cry at the ending, but I did well up a bit. Still, this movie isn’t without its problems.

Rather than going over the goods and bads like I normally do, I’m actually going to go through this one chronologically, as I feel it’s the best way to tackle this film’s strengths and flaws. Sit back for a long one, folks.

Chapter 1 (Parrotmon and the First Adventure): We start out with the same intro music we got in the original Digimon Adventure movie. This first section is full of a lot of very purposeful callbacks, like Greymon VS Parrotmon and the recreated evolution sequences. This is the part of the movie where I think this works the best, grabbing people’s nostalgia right at the beginning, getting them to remember the good times with the Digimon before the drama starts. My only, very minor, nitpicky issue is that the Agumon to Greymon sequence is a bit choppier than the original, but it’s also not meant to play 30+ times over the course of two years, so it’s easily forgiven. Also, I’m gonna put PIN 1 in the aurora, because we’ll be coming back to that later.

The animation here is also fantastic (the few moments of off CG aside). It’s been a while since I’ve seen fight scenes this good, and this is probably the best they’ve ever been in Digimon. I also enjoy that Taichi and Yamato are immediately on good terms. So much of Tri was them arguing with each other, so seeing them as friends is nice.

Chapter 2 (The New Normal): Something I didn’t notice the first time, but did on a repeat watch was Sora’s Digivice with its timer ticking down in the opening credits. I’m not a fan of how little Sora was in this movie, especially considering her reinterpretation in the reboot hasn’t been that strong, but I do think the route they went with her was fitting for her character.

Seeing Taichi and Yamato in a rut while everyone else is pursuing their dreams is well done. I definitely feel like I’ve been there before in one form or another, and it’s easy to empathize with. Also, seeing the two of them drinking is so surreal. And them talking about how they have a hard time fitting their Digimon into their lives, only to almost immediately have the idea of losing on them thrust upon them hits very hard on the first watch.

Menoa’s voice... As a native English speaker, hearing people who are supposed to be American in anime only to spout obviously line-read Katakana is always a little vexing to me. I definitely weigh it a bit based on the budget of the show I’m watching, but this is a very big budget movie and they could have gotten a better trainer at the very least to go over the lines with her. Her character is well done, though. I thought she was certainly suspicious my first watch, but on a rewatch I caught more hints, such as her reaction after Izumi mentioned his database.

Chapter 3 (It’s in the Internet): This is where I started falling off a bit. Let me know if this sounds familiar, “Taichi, Izumi, Yamato, and Takeru must battle a Digimon inside the internet. Just as they seem to have the upper hand, it evolves and the children must rely on Omegamon to defeat it.” This particular part of the movie is recycled from Children’s War Game. Even Eosmon darting around the arena with a timer going, being difficult to hit and having to be forced to slow down is reminiscent of how Diablomon was defeated. This really took me out of the film, and it kind of gets worse, but we’ll get there.

Maybe this is me, but I can’t help but feel the whales during Omegamon’s evolution are a callback to Summer Wars >_> I do like the new version of his sword with the flared guard.

Chapter 4 (Some Old Yet Newer Friends): I don’t agree with Menoa’s explanation for why Digimon disappear, but my evidence as to why hasn’t appeared yet, so we’ll put PIN 2 in that. Menoa’s assistant on the other hand was a decent red herring. I wasn’t sure which of them it actually was until the full reveal.

I can’t properly express how excited I was to see Miyoko and Hawkmon after Tri. The 02 crew got so shafted that seeing them here and how involved they were in the plot had me legit excited. There’s actually a ton of 02 love in this movie in the background that I was very appreciative of. That brings me to another point, though, that this movie feels very responsive to Tri. The heavy inclusion of the 02 cast over many of the other original Adventure members, the number of cameos from the final episodes of 02, and a very certain plot point that we’ll stick PIN 3 in for now all point to this. Heck, it was even revealed to be in production near the end of Tri, which was supposed to be the series finalé, except people didn’t like Tri so they apparently didn’t want the series to go out on a sour note (though not a bitter-sweet one).

Chapter 5 (People Change): Can we talk about how Agumon finds Taichi’s stash? It’s a little too real, man. But this scene also brings up the point that the Digimon haven’t really changed since 1999, yet the children have significantly. The Digimon change their appearance and the humans change on the inside. It’s also a little weird how the Digimon aren’t that beat up about saying goodbye. I mean, they don’t want to, but they aren’t crying their eyes out. But we’ll talk about that more when we actually pull out PIN 2.

Also, seeing Sora at the end of this chapter, knowing what’s happening to her is really sad on the second watch.

As a little bonus, I was questioning the Digivice Smart Phones until Taichi turned his off and Izumi’s name popped up. Good show-don’t-tell. That scene also has some great lighting...

Chapter 6 (Better than Himekawa Maki): You definitely feel bad for Menoa. Her story is very (and probably purposefully) similar to that of Himekawa Maki’s from Tri, but in this case we feel more for her because she went through what our leads are going through right now. Her plan makes sense to her because of her tauma. And as we’re talking about the similarities to Tri, I’m going to pull PIN 3 and mention that Taichi and Yamato are going through the same thing that Meiko did. It’s strange that they’re recycling the Tri plot for this, but it works so much better here because our connections to these characters, that we’ve known for years, are so much stronger than those of the new ones introduced in Tri. And it’s 1/10th of the run time, too. It’s almost like Tri was terrible or something O_O

Chapter 7 (Touching Down like a Revenging Hurricane): So now we’re on to a Digimon trapping Chosen Children and reverting them back to children all for the sake of one Chosen Child who has aged up. Man, that sounds familiar. It’s almost as if this plot point was taken from another movie or something...

Look, I wouldn’t harp on it so much if every Adventure + 02 Digimon movie didn’t have plot elements recycled for this film. The beginning was Adventure, the first battle with Eosmon was War Game, Tri is sprinkled throughout, we’re currently on Touchdown, and everything from here up to the final is Revenge of Diablomon. Don’t get me wrong, this was probably on purpose, and they are well integrated, but it pulls me out of the movie super hard. As I’m writing this, I’m on the scene with the 100 Eosmon reveal, just like all the Kuramon. They also do the thing all the Kuramon do where they combine together and defeat Omegamon (by removing his arms, weirdly), only to have two Digimon achieve a new evolution to defeat it.

That being said though, it is, again, handled very well. The damage you see done to Omegamon in these scenes is heartbreaking, and you can certainly feel the weight of the situation.

I also want to pull PIN 1 here, because they bring up the aurora again. There’s never actually an explanation for it, is there? It just shows up one day. It helped Menoa make Eosmon, it drove Parrotmon and apparently other Digimon crazy, but where it came from and why it’s here is never actually explained. I feel like this is bait in case they’re ever at the point where they need another big nostalgia push again and a plot for another movie. But I also don’t want to see that. After Reboot wraps (even though I like it) I’d like to see a new cast, Digimon, and story please.

I also don’t believe a word of anything Menoa says in these scenes, but she does a very good job of pushing Taichi and Yamato’s buttons. I also want to point out, it’s Greymon that isn’t phased by all this and goes on the attack when they’re doubting themselves.

Chapter 8 (An Unreliable Narrator): Time to pull PIN 2.

This is the reason why I don’t believe Menoa. This scene. Menoa kept going on about children losing their infinite possibilities and being unable to supply their Digimon with power, but the Digimon we see going through this situation don’t reflect that. Evolution is a two-way street. We help the Digimon evolve, but in turn they help us evolve, and it is when we reach the pinnacle of our evolution, when the job of the Digimon is done that they disappear. Menoa sped through her evolution because she wanted to become an adult, and when she finally achieved the dream she had set for herself is when Morphomon disappeared, but she’s so traumatized by her disappearance that her views on the situation are negative. This has to be a bad thing, there can’t be a positive reason why the Digimon would disappear. But Agumon and Gabumon are happy. Happy that they could see the great people that Taichi and Yamato turned out to be.

Gotta say, the CG fight with Omegamon and Eosmon (Perfect) isn’t as great as the previous ones. Definitely gets better when we get to Eosmon (Ultimate). This is also a scene where they very easily show the stakes by having Taichi and Yamato getting injured, which we don’t see a lot of, not to mention Omegamon getting sliced up as I said previously.

Also, how many kids got stuck with Numemon as a partner?

Chapter 9 (We’re All Together): I hate that whistle. Every time I hear it in Adventure I start crying. And seeing Sora without Piyomon in these scenes is also heart wrenching on a repeat. I enjoy the others getting involved in the Eosmon fight, but I would have liked it if all the Chosen Children who were captured helped out (though I understand the nightmare that would be aging up all those 02 designs). Overall, just some good, back-to-back emotional moments.

Agumon Bond of Courage and Gabumon Bond of Friendship are decent designs. They definitely feel more newer Digimon than anything that would have appeared in the first season, but that’s ok. It took me a while to get used to Agumon’s new face (it’s kinda weird how human they get; makes me feel like wanted this to be a Bio-Merge). Though brief, their appearance is also beautifully animated.

Seeing Menoa lose Morphomon is also pretty emotional. Actually, this whole ending sequence (y’know, the part of the movie that’s the most itself rather than rehashing old material) is very good, and it’s constant heart-tugs one after another.

Chapter 10 (Goodbye for Now): As I said, there’s a lot of tug-at-your-heartstrings moments throughout the film (especially the ending), but this is the biggest one. This is the one that almost got me. I’m choked up a bit even writing this. It doesn’t help that they end it with a non-movie, realistic cry. But as Gennai said, as long as you have infinite possibilities...

This movie does feel like it embraces the epilogue from 02, and in that epilogue everyone has their Digimon again. And when’s the moment in your life when your life becomes chaotic and hectic and full of infinite possibilities again? The unifying thing everyone in the epilogue has? Kids.

I know that sounds weird, but it makes sense. I can totally imagine Taichi sitting on the couch, and his wife walks in and tells him she’s pregnant, and there’s this stunned silence for a moment, then Agumon pops out from under the cushions and says “How did that happen!?” I’m sure there are other ways it could happen, but that’s the most comedic and “Toei pushing having kids to help with the Japanese population crisis” way I can think of doing it.

I’ll also give special mention to the credits, where they go out of their way to show the 02 Crew with their Digimon, but the main cast without. But, again, we know they get them back. And hopefully they don’t make that movie anytime soon, because I’m sick of Adventure. I’d like new things, please!

Overall, this is a good movie, but it is, to me, heavily hampered by the fact that it is too nostalgic. The animation and writing is fantastic, but that writing is built on the back of elements from the previous movies. If you haven’t watched all those movies multiple times like I have, you’ll probably enjoy it a lot more than I did (and I enjoyed it a lot, still), but be aware. Next time we talk Digi-Shop will probably be about Reboot.

Unless I manage to get my hands on the rest of the Xros Wars toys. (Where are you, MailBirdramon!)

#Digimon #Digimon Adventure #Digimon Adventure tri #Digimon Adventure Last Evolution Kizuna #Last Evolution Kizuna #Last Evolution #Kizuna #Review #Movie

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otakween · 4 years ago

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07 Ghost - Supreme Sugar 1-5

So I bought a bunch of these like a dumbass, even though they’re all online here. I also made the stupid mistake of buying “volume 5″ which is actually just a reprint of volumes 1-3 so basically I bought volumes 1-3 individually and reprints lol. Whoops! Ah well, they’re still nice collector’s items.

Vol. 1

-I knew these were done by the original mangaka team (that’s why I’m discussing them) but apparently there are guest artists here too. That’s really fun, I love seeing characters in other people’s art styles.

-Teito looks cute with the giant bishop hat on

-Bahaha Burupya fuckin drowned. (Frau saved him tho).

-Apparently animals hate Ayanami (except for leopards lol). Just the fact that he was on feeding duty to begin with is pretty hilarious (also, why does the military have flamingos and iguanas?)

-Ayanami said gay rights!! He supports Kuroyuri and Haruse’s love lol

-Okay, the nekomimi chapter felt like it was written by a 12 year old weeb circa 2004 (complete with crack plot line!)

-Turned into a low-key yaoi at the end there which I didn’t really expect. I don’t really likes ships with Teito. He’s just too young and naive, it feels wrong :/

Vol. 2

-Bwahaha I dunno why but I think it’s really funny that the subtitle for this volume is “07-Ghost Fun Book.” It’s not a doujinshi, it’s a fun book :D

-Okay, a Doraemon parody was the last thing I expected. It’s a good thing I know the general premise of Doraemon or I’d be sooo confused lol

-”Drau” pulling the scythe out of his crotch pocket tho...

-Teito looks pretty good with glasses! It makes him feel like a completely different character tho

-I guess Doraemon has a sister (played by Lab in this) I was not aware of this (wait, why does a robot have a sister??)

-Suddenly we get a brief Konatsu x Hyuuga scene at the end there. I think that’s a ship I can get behind

-For some reason there’s a volume 1.5 and it comes after 2? IDK...

-Honestly I feel like I’m getting more enjoyment out of the gorgeous art pages than the comic pages. Kinda wish this was just an art book.

Vol. 3

-For some reason volume 3 is the only one not printed on glossy paper. That kind of makes it charming in its own way tho

-Lol Frau’s a wine mom. Sounds about right

-I guess if I had to pick a Mom character that was closest to Frau in looks it would be Bakugo’s mom, nice and fiery (no pun intended)

-Pffft Hyuuga writing “Zehel” before he dies is a good gag.

-Aw, that dream sequence at the end was really nice :’) You do get kind of sick of them hammering in the Mikage grief, but it is a huge turning point in Teito’s life so I’ll let it slide.

Vol. 4

-Okay, this one was too hard for me to read, flat out. There are no scanlations either. Something about poem writing and sticking something on Ayanami’s back? Why was Frau randomly a pizza guy at one point? -shrug-

-At least I can appreciate the concept art. I liked the doodle of Konatsu eating calorie mate lol (very on brand)

Vol. 5

-Okay, this one is also a Doraemon parody. I had trouble following it at first because I don’t know much about the Doraemon universe lol

-Comic #1 is a bunch of random crack/gag comedy. This style of comedy is so uniquely Japanese I don’t even know how to categorize it (I guess there’s a lot of the boke/tsukkomi dynamic in there). I don’t know why Mikage was in a skirt??

-There’s a lot of concept art in this one that appears to be for the anime rather than the manga. Always nice to see some bonus, behind-the-scenes content

-Ayanami is apparently 6 ft. tall. I wonder if they get this specific about height/weight when designing characters for American cartoons...

-One of Hyuuga’s character notes is “likes katsudon.” Me tho.

-Apparently Labrador is older than Castor and Frau!? Whaaa? That’s kinda unexpected. He definitely looks the most youthful.

-There’s a little short story in this one and my reading comprehension isn’t quite good enough to read something like that yet. I could tell it was Frau x Teito fluff tho. Teito asked Frau to snuggle with him at one point

---

Well, these were nice. Not a ton of substance to them but some nice bonus fun for super fans. I’m a little surprised the obsessive fans didn’t scanlate more of these back in the day, but at least that means I get to practice my Japanese! I wonder how many anime have official doujinshi?? It doesn’t seem super common but maybe I’m wrong.

#07 ghost #supreme sugar

15 notes · View notes

snkpolls · 5 years ago

Text

SnK Chapter 127 Poll Results

The chapter 127 poll closed with 1,993 responses. This month’s poll results were compiled by /u/alooulla, Crunchwrap, Giovata, @momtaku, @shifter-lines and /u/staraves.

Thank you, as always, for your support!

RATE THE CHAPTER 1,888 responses

It’s time to get back on the hype train, y’all! Chapter 127 was a vast improvement over last month’s reception with close to 90% of respondents viewing it favorably. By way of comparison, with chapter 126, that number was only 55%.

Fixed everything I didn't like about 126

This chapter was top quality. Jean and Yelena were great this chapter. Loved Reiner and Annie helping each other. But please Isayama stop torturing Reiner :(

Amazing and I agree with Hange completely

Wow, such an awesome chapter! It's been a while since a chapter like this has made me put my thinking cap to analyze the scenes in more detail and come up with theories regarding what's coming next!

Are there any words sweeter than "Save the world"?

Calm before the Storm in the SNK fashion

Finally Kiyomi! And some talk between the parts. Seeing the dead SC veterans made me cry a lot. I still care about them so much

I still don't like that the SC are just up and going forces with the Warriors, who are nothing more than unforgivable monsters, BUT I can admit the execution this month was much better.

Pretty damn tasty this month, not gonna lie. Hope to see more of that Floch in next month's dish, chef Isayama is a genius.

Guess you could say Gabi haters got a "kick" out of this month

Hahaha

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING WAS YOUR FAVORITE MOMENT? 1,938 responses

Hello JeanMarco fandom? Are you there? This is the fandom of 2020 telling you it’s time to come back to the series if only for a month.

It’s been 84 years but Jean finally learning the dark truth of Marco’s death topped our list of favorite moments with over one-third of the fandom selecting it (35.7%). “Yelena the shit stirrer” was second with 20.6%.This Jean-focused chapter netted Jean the third and fourth favorite spot as well. “Jean and Magath’s argument” and “Jean’s idealistic daydream” tied for third with 7.9% each.

"Erwin being implied to not support the rumbling" I wanted to choose this as one of my favorite scenes along with Hange's "I don't support genocide" <3

The biggest highlight of the chapter definitely has to be Jean punching Reiner upon learning that the latter was responsible for Marco's death. Ever since the truth about Marco's death was revealed a while back, I was awaiting the scene of Jean learning the truth about Marco's death and how he would react towards Reiner regarding it

Why is nobody talking about Yelena and Pieck pleaseeeee

I didn’t think it was possible to love Jean more than I already did but this chapter proved me wrong. I was so glad he finally learned what happened to Marco and at least got that closure.

Loved Yelena messing with everyone's emotions and calling out the truths that nobody wanted to recognize

Jean punching Reiner was my favorite moment of the chapter. Finally that evil fuck is getting what he deserves for what he's done.

The only people Yelena didn’t drag were Pieck and Falco. She has good taste.

Hange acknowledging their failure to stop Eren from getting to this point is 👌👌👌

Jean's and Magath's debate gave the vibes of 'what's older, the chicken or the egg' and I'm living for it lol

I actually found Jean’s dream sequence to be a little unsettling, maybe because of Isayama’s style of not drawing certain facial features clearly, like the eyes. It was almost more foreboding to me than sweet, peaceful, or nice to see.

My favorite moment was the reaction shot where Mikasa was going to charge Annie and everyone is freaking out but the last panel is Levi just sleeping.

I seriously want to see Mikasa vs Annie XD

Jean complementing Hanjis stew is the best moment in the manga

WHO WAS THIS CHAPTER’S MVP? 1,938 responses

With Jean receiving the bulk of the focus and development it’s not a huge surprise that Jean (66.2%) was the landslide winner for chapter MVP, with Yelena (9.9%) as a distant, and we mean distant, second. What is a surprise is that Hange’s culinary creation (9.7%) beat out Hange themself (8.9%) for the number 3 spot.

STAN JEAN KIRSTEIN

yelena best girl 😔💕

I already knew that Hange was a queen, but I'm genuinely surprised with Annie too. While the first made a big part of the fandom shut up (genocide is never justifiable) the second one admitted her crimes and understood Mikasa better than anyone.

I love the chapter. It was satisfying to see Jean find out the truth to Marcos death.

I loved how Jean got focus and how he called everyone out on their bullshit.

Mikasa being a badass again. My girl<3

Hange’s stew!!!!

I love the chapter. It was satisfying to see Jean find out the truth to Marcos death.

I loved how Jean got focus and how he called everyone out on their bullshit.

Awesome, go Hanji ! And Levi ! Though he didn't do anything.

I just want some of Hanji's stew

DO YOU THINK THE GIRL IN JEAN’S DAYDREAM WAS MIKASA? 1,943 responses

Was it Mikasa? Was it a girl with exactly the same hairstyle and scar who just happens to look like an older version of her? Most fans seem to think it was very clearly intended to be Mikasa with solid numbers. Or at the very least, considering the eyes were hidden (a common manga trope to confuse identities), proof that Jean has a definite type.

That woman in Jean's fantasy is very clearly Mikasa, you can even see the scar in one of the panels lol

I can't believe there are people denying it was Mikasa in jean's dream. What the actual fuck?

I think it isn't exactly Mikasa, but Jean *does* have a type and Mikasa heavily influenced it by being his big crush back when all his hormones were firing at 200%.

WHICH STATEMENT DO YOU MOST AGREE WITH REGARDING HANGE’S ANSWER TO JEAN ABOUT GENOCIDE BEING INHERENTLY WRONG? 1,939 responses

Nearly half of respondents (45.1%) agree with Hange that genocide is non-negotiably wrong. However, those that said in certain circumstances it is perhaps unavoidable if one’s enemies are intent upon it (16.6%) or it truly is the last resort (29.9%), responded in numbers too large to be dismissed. Those that claimed it was unabashedly a good thing, lag behind (8.5%). The results of this question would seem to indicate that even the fans that support Eren’s actions are doing so, for the most part, reluctantly; because that's the only way they see Paradis surviving.

Hanji’s rejection of genocide in no uncertain terms—I’ve been waiting for that! I want to frame that panel on my wall!

Finally people are arguing against Eren's crazy ideas. Expected more from Hange's and Jean's points tho, they have the capacity to be more eloquent

Jean is so close to noticing that the rumbling is best for him…

Kinda disappointing to see the group take such a simplistic take on the Rumbling.

Hange wants paradis to die on the moral high ground

Hating on Hange puzzles me, I understand people who support the rumbling, but saying she is bad for wanting to stop the killing of billions is just frustrating to me.

I'm tired of negativity flowing from fanbase. Everyone would like to see genocide; blood and rotten bodies of innocent people, but even Eren doesn't want that!

Genocide is morally and ethically wrong as hanje said which I agree with. What I don't agree with is her acceptance that once eren dies the eldians on paradis are gonna genocide within a few years. That fact that she hadn't thought of anyway to get around this is disappointing.

If it was Isayama’s Intention to make me feel bad for the rest of the world, he should have focused on it for a larger portion of the story cause honestly, they all can burn in hell for all I care. Innocent or not.

HANGE’S CLAIM THAT NONE OF THE DEAD SURVEY CORPS MEMBERS WOULD SUPPORT A RUMBLING WAS FOCUSED ON ERWIN. WHAT DO YOU THINK? 1,938 responses

This poll team member, staring at the camera like Jim from The Office. While Hange has been proven to be a trustworthy character, one with 11/10 intelligence and someone who knew and worked with Erwin on the daily for years and years, and certainly knew him better than anyone aside from Levi, only a third of respondents (36.7%) trust Hange’s judgement on this.

Hanji is right y'all are just dumb

I love how when Isayama wants us to agree with a character he pulls out the Erwin card

I love that years later, Erwin has still not been forgotten.

Erwin would never support a full rumbling to genocide the entire world, and it saddens me that anyone would think otherwise.

We aren’t bad people for supporting Eren. Don’t let the Erwin stans throw hate at us. Erwin would have protected his home too.

WHICH DEAD CHARACTERS DO YOU THINK WOULD SUPPORT THE RUMBLING? 1,783 responses

Kruger (58.3%), Kenny (57.4%) and Zackly (43.9%) top the list of characters we think would support the rumbling. Despite Hange’s confident declaration that no one in the Survey Corps would be so small minded, many disagreed choosing Ymir (31.3%) and Erwin (31%) as characters they think would support the Rumbling.

WHO WON THE DEBATE BETWEEN JEAN AND MAGATH? 1,930 responses

This was definitely a Jean chapter, am I right? At 48.8 percent, Jean definitely won the debate according to most fans. In fact, poor Magath didn’t even get a result worth mentioning; ‘neither’ or ‘Hange’ both got reasonable responses, but this was unarguably a slapdown for Jeanbo!

Jean slapped Magath. Bonus points for including that they were totally ignorant even after the walls were attacked.

Magath's replies to Jean are weak. I believe I can do better than him on countering Jean's points.

Idk when they'll get that it doesn't matter how much they hate each other or who started it.

Magath sucks. "Your people did shitty things to us" stops being an excuse when you do things that are just as bad if not worse than what happened before.

This chapter just showed how fake magath is man wow

The argument felt a little? biased towards the paradis folk? i wasn't too bothered by it, but hey, if jean was going to get to punch reiner then reiner deserved to punch someone for bert too.

The argument of "Who is the real bad guy" was a circular "You're the bad guys!" "No u!" "NO U!" -- but by the end of the chapter, all of the arguing characters put aside their differences as they ~left the forest~

Everyone: *kids fighting*

Hange: *bass boosted* WOULD ANYONE LIKE SOME STEW

ANNIE QUESTIONS WHETHER OR NOT MIKASA COULD KILL EREN. DO YOU THINK MIKASA COULD EVER BRING HERSELF TO KILL EREN? 1,935 responses

Early in the chapter, Mikasa surprises Hange and Jean by stating without hesitation that she will help stop Eren, but when Annie forces her to confront how far she is willing to go, she is clearly reluctant to take extreme measures. Almost half of the respondents (49.1%) believe that this is something Mikasa will never be able to do, with a decently close remainder of respondents saying either yes, she could bring herself to do it (29.1%), or opting not to decide (21.8%).

I don't see Mikasa killing Eren but i ALSO also don't see her doing nothing about it. It's complicated

If she met Eren in her present state, she wouldn't be able to kill him. Perhaps if something else happens between now and then to really strengthen her stance, she could.

I literally have no idea but i have a feeling she will confront him either way

I think she will struggle first, but after she will gain the conviction to do it.

I think she'd be willing to kill him if he showed to be willing to kill the scouts.

Lol at Mikasa learning how to think independently of Eren

She probably won't be able to do it regardless of her conviction because of the Ackerbond, unless Eren allows her to.

Killing eren is kind of extreme isn't it?

She will join Eren!

IF MIKASA CONFRONTS EREN, WHAT OUTCOME DO YOU EXPECT? 1,907 responses

This one was all over the place! Proof if proof were needed of how impossible this particular subject is to predict right now; Mikasa’s strong feelings for Eren haven’t faded even though she has consistently demonstrated an opposition to his goals, and the poor girl is being torn to pieces. However, those that think Mikasa will ultimately be unable to bring herself to stop him if it means killing him are in the majority here. It’s still anyone’s bet though.

I dont think they can talk him out of it, but im not sure if killing him even stops the rumbling, hence i am not sure what to expect from this.

If Annie would turn out to be right with her suspection that Mikasa could turn her back to the alliance?

Mikasa is going to k-word Eren, isn't she? All the focus on her plus the uncomfortable question. Oh dear. Please no Isayama.

I feel like if Mikasa did end up killing Eren, she'd be even more hated than Gabi for killing Sasha.

Eren will accept his death . And itll be a suicide by forcing Mikasa and armin to kill him.

Eren will die because of the immense power his titan needs, Mikasa will be there to say "Farewell, Eren"

Armin will be the one who will finally take Eren down.

Armin and Mikasa try to talk, Armin die, Mikasa have no choice but try to kill Eren. Don't know if she succeed.

Armin is going to die with Eren while they look at the sunrise over the ocean

I don't think he will need to be killed. I believe that Eren will take all his squad to the paths and then they will talk. Eren will finally tell them everything. If he is going to destroy the world, Mikasa most likely will finish him off.

Eren won't be stopped

He'll confide in her and somehow convince her that he's in the right

Her and/or Armin's death(s) would be the only thing to stop Eren

If Mikasa comes into contact with Eren, she will confess her love for him because that's what she was last seen thinking about. If she couldn't do it before, better late than never.

It will be a group effort to finish him off

Mikasa will be killed (likely accidentally by Eren) in the process of trying to talk him around. Ironically, it will be this which finally causes him to question his current course of action.

Maybe she will kill Eren but it will destroy her

She'll let someone else do it. Maybe Jean?

She's probably just gonna scream "Ereh" all over again

Mikasa and Armin will confront Eren, no one will win but no one will die

No one will kill Eren because he's killing himself

IF ANNIE AND MIKASA WERE TO FIGHT NOW, WHO WOULD WIN? 1,932 responses

In this writer's opinion, I always bet on Annie winning their original first fight even though I was (and am) a massive Mikasa fan. Now though, I definitely agree with the majority of those who answered this question. That first fight might be debatable but this second one wouldn’t even be a contest. Mikasa has just had years more of training and growth, and we don’t even know if being in the crystal for so long has left Annie weakened in any way. 63% of respondents think this is Mikasa’s fight to win.

Hope mikasa mikasa fight annie it will be sweet

MAGATH WAS NOT SURPRISED TO DISCOVER THAT KIYOMI WAS WORKING BEHIND MARLEY’S BACK. WHO DO YOU THINK KIYOMI IS TRULY WORKING FOR? 1,917 responses

Close to 74% of those who took the poll this month are still not convinced of Kiyomi being particularly loyal to anybody but herself. Is this a case of reading a book by its cover too soon? Or is she genuinely as snakelike as she appears to be? Just remember that people can still have the capacity to do good whilst putting their own interests first. Unfortunately the opposite is equally true.

She's double agenting everyone, like an arms dealer in a war. She sells to both sides and loses nothing in return

Her nation. She's putting her nations interests first.

She is loyal to Mikasa primarily for selfish reasons, but the rumbling threatens her home too, so she'll probably support Hange and co now.

Plot twist: the Yeagerists have been Kiyomi's pawns, in the next chapter Kiyomi will throw Floch and the Yeagerists under the bus AND pretends she is indeed a hostage.

Kiyomi is working for herself even not for Hizuru and she will double cross everyone

Kiyomi/Kruger/Willy 4D chess conspiracy ftw

I have no idea who's side she's on at this point.

Not conspiring with the Jaegerists but with Zeke and the euthenasia plan.

I have thin hopes she might be working with Eren and Historia who convinced her to join their side.

She lusts for the blue rock

THE PLANE’S FUEL CAPACITY IS MENTIONED AS A LIMITING FACTOR IN FINDING EREN. WHERE DO YOU THINK EREN IS? 1,912 responses

Eren didn’t enable infinite fuel in the PATHS console, and now everyone else has to deal with it. 40.3% of you think Eren has already left for the continent, 36.3% think he’s still on Paradis in his Founding Titan, 16.8% think he’s hiding somewhere in human form, and that leaves 6.6% who think he’s already reached the continent. Does anyone know the MPG on iceburst stone?

I'm going to be honest, I genuinely thought the plane was an aborted arc.

I find it funny that everyone is very concerned with catching up with Eren, even though they have no idea where he is, and have completely forgotten about Zeke. How do they know he's not lying in some rubble somewhere?

I just thought the plane idea was kinda....lame? I don’t know it just felt weird to me.

I can't stop picturing all the Wall Titans holding onto Eren's ribs for dear life as he crosses the ocean because they underestimated how deep it was.

YELENA MENTIONS THE APPEAL OF “SAVING THE WORLD” AS A MOTIVATION. DO YOU THINK SHE JOINED ZEKE PRIMARILY FOR HIS VISION OR WAS THERE ANOTHER FACTOR? 1,910 responses

Nearly a quarter of you said that Yelena served Zeke to further his cause, 20.2% of you said that she did it because she was just really thirsty for Zeke, and 13.2% of you said that it has nothing to do with Zeke, and that she was just looking for fun and fame—in other words, SASUGA, PIECK! The fairly overbearing majority of you though, at 42.1%, said that it was some combination of all of the above answers.

I think Yelena's motivations for following Zeke are partly spiritual. She mentions his titan being godlike, and follows Zeke around like a disciple.

I was quite shocked to learn that Yelena was an average Marleyan herself who just made everything up about her coming from an annexed Marleyan nation and being saved by Zeke in some way.

YELENA BRINGS UP THE MORE RECENT CRIMES COMMITTED BY THE WARRIORS AND THE 104TH. IS THERE AN EQUIVALENCE OR IS ONE SIDE MORE AT FAULT? 1,901 responses

This question had an interesting response, because it was expectedly divided, but not in the way one might have guessed. 34.9% of you said it’s irrelevant whose crimes are greater, 34.1% said that it’s about equal, 30.2% said that the Warriors are most at fault, and only 0.8% of respondents said that the 104th were most at fault. When we see talk of blame, or right and wrong, we normally see a very even split—especially when it comes to Eren, so this is an interesting outcome!

It’s so brilliant on the way it shows war’s true face ... don’t have winners, don’t have losers, it doesn’t matter who started or who finished it, we are fighting each other and for whom? for those who died 2000 years ago? people are just sickening. this chapter showed a lot of that with Yelena’s speech

Fuck Marley, but the sc doesn't have the higher moral ground on the warriors.

They should stop choosing between evils and start forgiving, never forgetting, but forgiving so they all can live together when it all ends one way or the other.

ZOOK YOOGER APPROVES!

JEAN THANKS YELENA FOR HELPING THEM GET ALONG. WAS THAT HER INTENTION? 1,889 responses

A clean 31% of you think that Yelena was “just taking the piss”, by bringing up everybody’s past, and I had to google what that British (Australian?) nonsense means, but hey, you learn something new every day. Following just behind that at 30.7%, you guys said that she wanted to create more conflict for an unspecified reason. 27.6% of you said that she was just venting frustrations, while only 10.7% thought she actually wanted to help Zeke, and bring everyone together to stop Eren.

Looking forward to seeing Yelena roasting everyone in season 4.

Someone should beat magath for being an ass and yelena for being so edgy

WAS JEAN JUSTIFIED IN ATTACKING REINER LIKE THAT? 1,894 responses

Almost three quarters of people thought Jean was justified in giving Reiner a walloping, largely for killing Marco (36.7%), but also to knock sense into Reiner (21.6%). 15.6% thought it was justified but that Jean took it too far, and a fraction fewer (15.2%) thought both guys have been justified in their actions. Just 6% thought the beating wasn’t justified at all, as we readers are well aware of Reiner’s feelings of guilt already. If you expected the sufferboi saga to end any time soon, don’t hold your breath…

I wouldn't say Reiner deserved it, but Jean is definitely justified for it. I don't blame Jean since the guy who killed his "best" friend was sitting right in front of him.

Uuuh YES? Is that even a question? Imagine someone killing your best friend and then calmly talking about it like telling a story.

His feelings are justified, his actions aren't.

Nobody fucking reacts over Yelena stating "Armin stole Bert's power", and instead we're just getting wank over a plot device from 2013: I named Marco.

Yes, but Annie deserved a beating too.

It makes no difference, they both are wrong and bad guys right now

We the audience know Reiner's entire backstory but Jean does not, hence why we feel more sympathy for Reiner than Jean does to him.

No reaction to Bert being eaten by Armin and Porco's already forgotten when he literally died the day before, but more Marco angst? Alright then.

I'd say neither is truly 'justified', but it was an emotional purging they both needed. Jean for his anger over what and who Reiner's taken from him, and Reiner getting what he feels he must receive for what he's done.

He should've killed him

Leave Reiner alone already. He suffered enough. He understands his mistakes. He doesn't need to be punched anymore.

Reiner deserved it, but by now its been too long so it feels out of place.

It's understandable. Jean's hit his breaking point. Reiner I love you but please stop trying to provoke people into causing you bodily harm.

Jean should've hit him harder. And Reiner wanted to be hit cause he knows it himself that he deserves it. Give the boy what he wants 💅

Reiner needs a damn hug goddamnit.

Yes. Revenge is always justifiable

Pretty sure reiner liked it either way

Honestly, when Jean hit Reiner, I felt good. I think that Reiner and Jean will have a better friendship and I'm looking forward to that.

I really don't know.

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT MAGATH STOPPING HIMSELF FROM EXTENDING A HAND TO GABI? 1,886 responses

Magath is a complicated fellow isn’t he? He seems to treat Eldians better than most but has trouble getting over his own prejudices regarding them. Most of you seem to think it was character progression (56%) that he reached out to help Gabi in that moment as a man, instead of as her commanding officer. We shall have to see if Magath’s attitude continues to soften, and if so, could it potentially be a microcosm of the world’s attitude to Eldians in general?

Magath begins to have a real compassion for warriors, especially towards Gabi (already in one of the previous chapters, he had given her a hug).

Foreshadowing, he'll die for her. 100% sure.

Gabi apologized to the Devils, she asked them for help. Magath realized that Gabi is not a brainwashed fanatical degenerate anymore, even she is not on his side.

Good question. It seemed like he only know started to realize that Eldians are people with feelings, fears and hopes too, but didn't know how to interact or if he was even allowed to show that concern after all that time.

He doesn't know how to react to this because Hange's words from earlier struck him deeply.

He fill asham that she act more like an adult than him

He finally starts understanding he was being an ass. Better late than never!

He is not sure how to comfort her. The situation is a tough one.

He realises now that he needs to provide the better future for these young Eldians thus being the guy that will free the Eldians from the discrimination.

He realized that he cares about Eldians a lot and he doesn't see difference between them and other people.

He realizes that he’s one of the reasons why a kid like gabi is suffering and feels like he doesnt have the right to comfort her

He wants to help the warriors but feels guilt about all the pain he caused them

He's a bitch realizing it's kinda his fault

He's only shown to care for Gabi tbh. We've seen him humiliate all the kids over and over even when they were trying to help and give suggestions, so I don't accept it as development and much less as "caring for Eldians".

I really dont know wtf was happening in these panels

When not arguing with Jean, Magath was flabbergasted all the time about Eldians being more human instead of devils he thought them to be, so idk, this reaction kind of goes hand in hand with all that. He's kind of realising they're human as well and he's afraid of feeling compassion for them.

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT JEAN'S TREATMENT OF GABI AFTER THE ACCIDENTAL KICK? 1,905 responses

66.6% agreed that Jean’s softer treatment of Gabi was the cutest shit they’d ever seen, or close to it. 23.5% were neutral on the matter, and a small proportion (4.6%) didn’t really care for it. Then there’s that little bump in 1 voters (5.4%), from those who didn’t like to see any kind of positive treatment of Gabi. My goodness, would Sasha hold a grudge this long?

Bless Jean and his kindness toward Gabi

Gabi is garbage

Gabi sucks

She shouldn't be the one to endure the kick of a seething horseface and explain why the warriors did what they did. Worse even, hiding her own pain to beg her aggressors for help. When her arc is all about leaving the forest, that's disgusting.

Haven't we had enough of Gabi Sue hogging the limelight? And the way she begs the SC to side with her after what she did to Sasha? Disgusting!

It kinda annoyed me that Gabi is apologizing to the 104 when they're the ones who destroyed her home and don't seem to feel guilty about it

idk but i love gabi

Gave the kick moment a 3. +4 because Jean is amazing, but -1 because Gabi should have gotten worse.

It really shows what a great character Gabi is because she can continue for vengeance but she is being a bigger person and choosing a more moral path.

MUCH OF THE CONVERSATION AROUND THE CAMPFIRE WAS REMINISCENT OF WHAT WE DISCUSS IN THE FANDOM. WHICH IDEA WERE YOU MOST HAPPY TO SEE? 1,893 responses

Does Isayama read our posts? You might be forgiven for thinking so, considering the campfire discussions focused on so many different angles; the complexity of the situation was nailed, and the winner was Jean knowing Eren’s actions are best for the island but still morally wrong (35.1%), but Yelena’s little dialogue was appreciated enough to come a close second (31%). This was the moment where all of us felt like our view was taken on board however, and it was brilliantly done.

I wonder if Isayama actively collected all fandom ideas, because he NAILED it. Well, he did his part, right? In showing the complexity of the situation. He can't change the fandom's minds, but he can put his message out there.

Annie confronting Mikasa only to immediately back off, what she pointed out made sense, and yet they didn't even discuss what to do if Eren couldnt be persuaded to stop genocide.

This chapter was a beautiful reflection of the community's arguments.

The panel when they are eating around the campfire looks like 'The Last Supper' of Jesus and his 12 apostles.

+1 for Annie for calling the 104 out on their inability to kill Eren if need be, and for Hange for having some fucking common sense

I liked it more when they were all enemies tbh

WHICH OF THE MORE LIGHT-HEARTED MOMENTS FROM THIS CHAPTER WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 1,898 responses

To me, Hange cheerfully knocking on the window to interrupt Jean’s idyllic daydream was pure comedy; what’s wrong with you people, am I the only one to find that funny? Sigh… Levi waking up to complain about the noise was alright though. I guess. And 50 percent of you seemed to like that one best. Comedy is wasted on you lot.

Sleepy Levi made me laugh out loud!

Levi was wholesome for once

Why would you think of Annie's asking if she's forgiven as a light-hearted moment?

I felt sad and grieved while reading this.

Loved Yelena with Titan Pieck, feel like she won't make it out of this alive and that's a shame since she's pretty interesting

I didn’t like the foodstuff. Isayama can’t make food jokes funny.

Isayama noticed Annie's favorable treatment so often he even slipped a joke about how nobody cares enough about the severity of her crimes to care... Haha...

Wouldanyonelikesomestewwouldanyonelikesomestewwouldanyonelikesomestewwouldanyonelikesomestew

LEVI JOINS THE LIST OF CHARACTERS WITH GLORIOUS BEDHEAD. WHICH HAS BEEN YOUR FAVORITE SO FAR? 1,898 responses

Mikasa’s gravity-defying locks assert dominance with 53.1% of the vote. Mankind’s strongest soldier makes an impressive debut in second place with his moment of dishevelment (21.2%), and Annie’s shaggy mane from all the way back in the Female Titan arc made it to third place (15.1%). We then have Gabi (4.6%) and Eren (4.1%) closely matched, and an honorable mention for Jean’s mild fluff from the days of Uprising (1.9%). Levi’s bedhead this chapter may well be the last in the series!

Levi taking his beauty sleep and being cranky after waking up by all the noise was the cutest thing on the entire manga. And talk about that bed hair... Can I tousle it, please?

[Levi’s] hair jkjkksksks KAWAII

DEATH FLAGS ARE ONCE AGAIN FLYING! WHO DO YOU THINK WON’T MAKE IT OUT OF THIS ARC ALIVE? 1,844 responses

Break out your bingo cards! Love him or hate him, most people agree that Floch has by far the highest chance of meeting his demise at a hardy 67.7% of responses. Just over 50% have voted that Yelena will die; perhaps she’s too much of a wildcard to stick around for the long-term. It’s not looking good for the old guard as many people think Hange and Magath have a good chance of dying, 48.7% and 45.2% respectively. A lot of people have also interpreted Jean’s development this month as an ominous sign (37.9%); it would certainly be one way to follow in his commanders’ footsteps! On the other end of the scale we have the fewest votes for Gabi (8%), Mikasa (8.2%), Falco (9.5%), and Armin (9.8%). Those expecting all four to meet their end are imagining a very grim finale indeed.

Hanji please don't die!

They're gonna kill Floch :(

Can Floch just die? Please?

I feel like hange will come up with a plan to save paradis without genociding.... and then immediately die without telling anyone the plan :)

Fuck annie. just fuck her. i want her to die so fucking badly.

If Hange dies I’ll cry

If Jean fucking die I’ll RIOT !!

Isadistyama knows only too well how much we hate Floch, which obviously means he isn't going to fkn die.

Gabi must die

Someone need to die soon.

Reiner's will to die will keep him alive to the end of the series…

I hope Levi doesn't die.

Really hoping Hange's death wasn't just foreshadowed in this chapter.

Jean will definitely die. Too much protagonism around him in this chapter.

My guess about Mikasa's life chances are now 50/50. 50% dying chances if she would protect Eren by fighting against the alliance and the other 50% having a chance to live a normal life with turning back to her old self

Just not Levi, at least not yet, c'mon we barely got him back :(

Maybe this whole manga is one man's journey trying to die in vain, until he ultimately finds the will to live... Then dies.

Hope they all die

THE PREVIOUS CHAPTER WAS NOT RECEIVED VERY WELL. HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT CHAPTER 126 NOW AFTER HAVING READ THE FOLLOW-UP? 1,891 responses

With the worst rating in recent memory, chapter 126 was a disappointment to many readers, and we even saw some people losing faith in Isayama (the heresy!). So we asked the fandom about their feelings of the previous chapter in retrospect and knowing the continuation.

Surprisingly, the majority of respondents (48.9%) said their opinion of the previous chapter had not changed, but they felt positively about it, with 23% saying their unchanged feelings were negative. A remainder of 28.1% said their opinion of the previous chapter had in fact changed, with 26.1% expressing more positive feelings and 2% feeling more negatively.

A real improvement compared to Chapter 126.

Amazing, picked up on everything I thought 126 needed.

Definitely an improvement upon the last chapter

This chapter remedied most of my issues/concerns from the previous chapter

Chapter 127 was so awesome it made 126 even worse in comparison.

I prefer personally chapter 126, but this chapter had much better pacing

Everybody complaining about 126 were too impatient and short-sighted. This was always what was going to happen and both chapters did exactly what they were supposedly to do.

It really made me feel better about 126

Way better than 126 but still kinda cringe tbh

Much better chapter that made 126 redeemable

AFTER THIS CHAPTER, HOW HAS YOUR OPINION CHANGED ON THE FOLLOWING CHARACTERS?

Due to this chapter being dialogue-centric with character interaction galore, naturally it was bound to have an impact on the characters’ likeability. The significant focus on Jean’s inner turmoil evidently made him skyrocket in the eyes of the fans, with 80.6% of responses to him being on the favorable side, correlating with him being the fandom’s choice of MVP.

Jean's development is top tier.

I am so proud of how far and mature Jean has become! ;-;

Jean continues to show why he's the best character in the series

JEAN CHADSTEIN

JEAN JEAN JEAN JEAN

Other characters receiving a boost in favorability were Yelena, Hange and even Gabi (although in her case by only a smidge).

Yelena was my personal MVP this chapter

Mama Hange is the best

Gabi behaved like an adult and preferred to ask for forgiveness and help (she was adorable).

While many were relieved by Hange’s strong stance, it should be noted that Hange also received significant backlash this chapter, with ¼ of respondents viewing Hange less favorable.

Fuck hange

Hange is just making idiotic shitty points, and she has become one of my most hated character after this chapter. Jean's argument is one of the best, and almost everything he says this chapter made me love him even more.

People saying hange is acting based off emotion .. when literally all eren has done is act based off emotion. of course hange doesnt have a plan yet, eren is literally gonna annihilate the world

Though no characters had an overall less favorable response, Magath’s comments about the Paradis Eldians certainly almost landed him there.

Magath can suck a nut

Fuck off Magath

Magath really annoyed the hell out of me this chapter

ONCE AGAIN ISAYAMA APPEARS TO BE PLAYING WITH OUR EXPECTATIONS OF THE FINAL PANEL. WHICH OUTCOME DO YOU BELIEVE IS MOST LIKELY? 1,824 responses

Dreamt up fantasy or not, this chapter gave us yet another plausible scenario for the long-haired man holding a baby, confirming that Isayama knew what he was doing when he released that final panel, and he will milk the speculation for all it’s worth. With over 50 custom write-in responses of people saying they have no idea, it’s clear we’re all just on Isayama’s wild ride.

The most popular option chosen was that it depicts Eren holding Historia’s child (38.9%), followed by Grisha holding Eren (29.1%), Jean holding Mikasa’s child (14.7%), and Farmer-kun holding Historia’s child (8%). We also found many trends in the write-in answers:

Eren holding his baby with Mikasa (11)

Jean holding Historia's child (9)

Grisha holding Zeke (4)

Eren holding ymir fritz (reborn) (4)

Zeke holding Eren’s child. (3)

Falco holding Gabi's child (2)

Armin holding Historia's child (2)

As well as multiple answers that it’s Isayama injecting himself into the manga. You’re all hilarious.

Eren holding Isayama

plot twist: its isayama's dad holding him. he is free of the manga now

Isayama holding baby Onsen

Some of you had some creative ideas that I enjoyed reading:

Eren holding historia’s dead baby. saying it’s free from this world’s cruelty

Eren holding the Crawling Titan's human form (the one they encountered when heading to the ocean).

The next inheritor of the Founding Titan is holding Historia’s child, Eren sees this as a future memory.

Two marleyans free of eldian rule

Zeke holding Yelena's child

How did that last one get - actually, screw it, I’m on board. #Zelena4Life

We also had some voicing of concern regarding the lack of warning for final panel spoilers. To anyone who was spoiled by the final panel as a result of our actions, we apologise, and we will make sure any future polls that include discussion of external material will be appropriately tagged. This was Crunch’s fault, so please direct all of next month’s hatemail at him. He’s very sorry though.

WHAT DO YOU THINK THE OUTCOME OF THIS UPCOMING BATTLE WILL BE? 1,865 responses

Before they can reach Eren, the Alliance needs to first get past the Jaegerist. Only 12% of respondents expect this to be easy. The vast majority (63.8%) are anticipating an Alliance win but at the cost of major character deaths. On the other end of the spectrum, close to 20% expect the Alliance to be defeated but think they will reach Eren another way. The tiniest percent (4.1%) think that the Jaegerists will win this battle and Eren will be successful.

I hope isayama wont nerf the alliance so hard in the upcoming battle. and pls no stupid death. make it glorious.

5 titan shifters versus a group of Jaegerist, I'm putting all my money on those well rested shifters to deal with a majority of the Jaegerist on the outside while the non-titans sneak in and rescue Kiyomi. And hopefully one of them can kill Floch while they are at it.

Super excited for next chapter! It was good exposition and a good setup for an epic fight! I also kind of hope that now that they've figured out the trick to stop fighting and finding diplomatic ways that they don't directly resort to violence but at least try to find a way to talk with the Jaegerists. If they don't try to talk and find a way around then the lessons learned won't have meant a thing. I'm super happy with the direction of the story

Even if you hate Floch you still have to give him credit for what he as done with taking over Paradis and mobilizing the Yeagerists in anticipation for the alliances next move

I swear if Armin doesn’t either turn into a titan now or in the final battle I’m gonna be saltier than the Dead Sea.

YES, WE ARE GOING THERE... HOW BADASS DID FLOCH LOOK IN THAT FINAL PANEL? 1,888 responses

God help us all... The bird’s nest hair is gone so there is nothing left to distract us from that rockin’ bod and fierce expression. Please know that I am physically in pain that only ¼ of the fandom selected the “Ewwwwww no” option. The rest of us are apparently weak for thicc thighs bound by tight leather straps.

My hat is off to the 9.2% who selected “How ‘bout dat Kiyomi.” You have my respect for maintaining your dignity and opting out of this question entirely.

Floch based

Floch is a CHAD

Floch is a hottie

FLOCH MARRY ME PLEASE I LOVE YOUU

Floch NEEDS to die!!!

FLOCH SHALL REIGN SUPREME!!!

FLOCH THE CHAD

I hate floch but damn is he lookin fine af

AT THIS POINT, AROUND WHICH CHAPTER DO YOU EXPECT THE MANGA WILL CONCLUDE? 1,876 responses

After another set up chapter amidst the scenery of the apocalypse, the chances of this arc wrapping up quickly are slimmer than ever, with only 2.2% of respondents believing the series to be in its final volume and ending at chapter 130. The 138-gang has officially taken over as the majority, with 43.9% of respondents expecting the story to wrap up in ten more chapters, beating out the 37.3% who think we will only get to chapter 134, and the 16.6% who think the story will go even further, to 142 chapters or beyond (for those counting at home, that’s at least midway into 2021).

I find it hard to believe that the story is getting wrapped up so soon… There’s so much that I feel like needs to happen before the story ends

I hope [Isayama] finishes the series without any rush.

I'm unsure if the manga will be able to end in 2020

I thought we were supposed to be approaching the end but now we go on a sidequest to free princess Kiyomi from a miniboss, huh?

The end is near and I already feel sad.

Whatever happens, it's been a wild ride up to this moment. I thank Isayama for everything.

WHAT ARE YOU MOST HOPING TO SEE NEXT CHAPTER? 1,892 responses

Eren’s POV (37.3%), a continuation of the present storyline (21.9%), and the return of Historia (19.1%) are our top hopes and dreams for the upcoming chapter. A major death (6.8%), Reiner finding the will to live (6.0%), news about our boy Zeke (5.6%) and the Rumbling (3.4%) round out the entries.

EREN POV AND HISTORIA POV ALREADY JESUS CHRIST

I'm kinda hoping we get a zeke pov I wonder how he feels abt eren betraying him.

Historia was named because she is history from the story YAMS I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU WHERE IS QUEEN BAE

HISTORIA WHENNNNNNNN???!!!!!!!!

I just miss eren and historia and zeke a lot, they're my favorite characters :(

I just want annie to see her father smh

I have faith in isayama's cruelty and I honestly hope to see someone die

Please get Eren or Historia on the screen for the love of god

Reiner's too tired to die now. Wondering at which time yam will give him a new motivation to live and fight.

I’m still hoping Mikasa and Armin will man up and realize that Eren may not be worth fighting for. Maybe next time!

Hype for that Floch death next chapter, cmon Yams

Watch it burn!

WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 1,797 responses

The percentage of people who primarily discuss the series on Reddit is up from last month, while Tumblr and Discord’s percentage is down. People who don’t discuss the series, but participate in the poll are up 4.1% (of the whole, 73% relative to itself). The top 5 ranking order is: Reddit, I don’t, Facebook, Tumblr, and Discord. I’m surprised by the lack of Discord responses. If you voted Discord, but don’t see many people in your Discord communities aware of the poll, let them (or us!) know!

On that note, I have to give the Snapchat voters a hard time. Snapchat got 6 votes this time. Six. That’s the same as it was last month, but let me put this into perspective for you. Steam got three votes. There are twice as many people who voted Snapchat as there were people who voted Steam. Two. Times. Until I receive evidence to the contrary, I’m electing to believe that this is a Marleyan psyop, and I’m not falling for it.

Regardless of where you discuss the series though, we appreciate your contribution to the poll, and the SnK community as a whole! We literally could not do this without you guys, so thank you!

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE CHAPTER? 406 responses

Nice prelude before the final confrontation(s)

Fantastic chapter with great development for Jean and Reiner.

Overall, this is exactly what I wanted after last chapter's fiasco.

Where is Zeke lmao

Needs more Historia. THEY ARE ALL THERE WHY IS THERE NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THE QUEEN OF PARADIS. ISAYAMA PLZ

Kinda bummed there wasn't more Levi, but I'm always bummed when there's not a lot of Levi.

I don't like where this is going

I can't believe I'll be legit sad if Floch goes.

Erwin would have come up with another way to protect Paradis. He would have blackmailed and sweet-talked all the other diplomats lol. If Erwin was in charge he would have come up with a decisive plan and Eren wouldn't even have had to consider the rumbling, unlike Hange who is all talk but no plan and I guess that's why Erwin had to be nuked out of the story.

F U L L B O C C O

I live for character drama and Jean’s my favourite character so you know I loved this one.

I loved the Pieck x Yelena moment...and I Am Once Again Asking for Historia Comeback.

Mikasa. That’s it, that’s my thoughts,

Meh this arc has really a lot of problems with the characters, basically i dont care for anyone at all except eren and reiner, and that's a major flaw.

[Yelena] pointed everyones hypocrisy out that they aren't just victims who did nothing wrong. Everyone, except of Falco, has cover they hands with blood. It's not just ""muh Marley, muh Eldia or muh Yelena"". Everyone have started sins and are to blame for something. It was a really necessary wake up call, not only for the characters, but for this fandom as well. No matter if this was her intention to create more drama in the group or make them realize that they and not different from each other. GREAT MOMENT and Yelena absolutely slaying 👑

Please just make mikasa ended up with eren in the future. I dont really care bout anything

THE.CHAPTER.THAT.WE.NEEDED.

There really just aren't any good solutions, are there?

Isayama stop messin with my heart

Also I've seen people mad at Magath, but the only two charas I really hated here were Yelena and Floch. Both kinds of people are terrible in real life (usually minus the killing but eh)

Eren is gonna win and kill everyone

Can we stop the SUFFERING XD jokes with Reiner? The torture porn is seriously getting old and unnecessary. Can't believe I had to lower my opinion of him as well.

Every major character during this arc had moments of extreme fragility and desperation. mikasa, connie, armin, hanji, reiner and now jean. i love this because it would be extremely weird for a group of people who constantly put their sanity to test to remain the same (strong and capable of fighting and leading in every situation)

Bless Jean! He is such a good friend. I hope he can heal. That reveal with how Marco really died was very traumatizing. I hope all of the characters can heal.

BTW Isayama..It will be so pathetic if the Manga ended by Mikasa kill Eren..The worst and most unsuccessful end

Better than the previous one for sure. I love dialouges! Still expected Annie to interact with Armin and Levi not just sleeping through all of this like the sleeping beauty.

Annies back, back again. Annie's back, tell a friend.

Another banger

AoT is like good wine, it gets better with time.

AOT makes my life tolerable enough to live, thank you isayama

Boring chapter i wanna see eren ffs

Bitches really do be supporting genocide

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

10/10 as usual

127 was a totally piece of shit

I think jean and pieck will become a thing. if it doesnt, ill be sad lol

I'M AT SOUP

I'm confused.

I'm glad the situation of Marco's death and his importance to Jean was addressed. I just hope this won't be the last we see of it. Jean needs to heal and Reiner needs to do better.

I'm just happy that there will most likely not be a Cringevengers-like ending that seemed not too far-fetched after 126.

I want Eren to live

I want the recipe for that stew

I want to see Mikasa's POV

It feels as if Isayama has read our discussions and merged them into the story. Also I think Jean is the one who understands Eren's motivations the best at this point. Not Armin, not Mikasa.

It seems now that all the pieces are in place. I believe from now until the end will be a constant and crazy ride

It was a great chapter, but where's Eren? Even the "Avengers Team" are wondering.

It was a great chapter, Isayama covered most of the topics that were hanging loose on the last chapter

Real Housewives of Eldia

It was a masterpiece

It was alright.

Some will die, Eren will do some bad shit, but he will fail somehow

MOAR JEANKASA

Monthly dose of Reiner suffering

More Mikasa

More Reiner

None, just AOT

Nostalgic. Especially when Jean learns of Marco's demise.

Not enough action

Not enough suffering for Reiner.

Pie

Pieck Is hekkin cute

Pretty much what I expected after the events of last chapter, in a good way.

Reiner and Gabi both should have gotten so much worse from Jean, they have too much blood on their hands to be even remotely forgivable.

So long as the Jeagerists are resolved this volume, or something wilder - no more build-up. JUST FUCK EVERYTHING UP, ISAYAMAAA (not like GoT fuck it up, but the good kind)

Somebody, please let Reiner sleep and wake up properly

Shit gonna hit the fan so hard

Shit is happening and I'm not ready. Wonder if the anime will make the chapters flow better like in Season 3 Part 1+2?

There going to set something big up soon and everyone will be hype for it but then it will show Marley perspective of the rumbling or something

Eren will succeed! All hail Eren!

This chapter was everything I wanted, thx Yams ily

Lets just say I have new ships

This chapter was intense and I love the debates around the fire.

Too long chatting

Chapter was good but the fandom is at its absolute lowest state at the moment, between the aggressive Eren cultists, warriors and 104 fans attacking one another, and crazy shippers. Stop this clownery

Crazy chapter, looking forward to the next one.

Fuck the Jaegerists, death to all empires. Everybody needs to be a republic already, this is getting old.

Great breath of fresh air chapter. Needed that after the quickly paced 126.

Very good. i don't like the fandom,they are just children. i have always hated them.

Was a fantastic chapter overall and I hope for more of the same next chapter

We really missed Annie

Hype's alive again

I shit you not, He actually turned himself into a pickle. A pickle! He called himself pickle Rick. Now that's the funniest shit I have ever seen.

I liked that yams showed conflict in the gathering of the warriors and the 104th and that they weren’t going to forget each other’s crimes

I loved the arguing and tension in the alliance. I like how most of the chapter was around the campfire.

I prefer this chapter to have been the other half split of the previous one. And this one advanced to slowly, with unnecessary things

I'm still waiting for a crazy plot twist

When will the Ackertalk finally come

Where did mikasa go at then end!!!

YELENA!!!

Yelene spitting facts

Annie turned to alcohol

Im fine if this ends with the alliance stopping Eren but I'll find it dumb if Paradis isnt destroyed by the world afterwards. (which I highly doubt will happen)

It was pretty dope

It was really good but we all know I cannot wait another month for the next chapter release. And yes, I am extremely upset that we won't be getting another Levi x Zeke fight.

Honestly Erwins flashback looked forced, that space could've been used to yelena revealing Eren's location, or confirming who that guy from the building was(shadis?)

Love this shit.

Loved it! It's tied with 121 as my favourite chapter from this arc.

Loved it. Not much to say about this one, since it wasn't nearly as controversial as the last one :P

Hoping the deaths I picked are going to happen and I hope 🤞 that ema talk 2 will happen

I'VE BEEN WAITING TWO YEARS OF MY LIFE FOR THIS. I DON'T EVEN CARE IF I GET CORONAVIRUS I CAN DIE HAPPY.

I’ll die of the corona if eren dies

Jeans pretty cool ngl

pointless volume incoming with pointless battle vs floch. Waste of time

Pretty much what I expected after the events of last chapter, in a good way.

I don't forgive Annie

Thank you Yelena

Jeanstans: Attaboy Jean! Reinerstans: HOW DARE HE?! Reiner: Too bad that didn't kill me.

Loved this chapter but it was mostly playing catchup with the rest of the characters, still needed. Really shows how far ahead eren is.

Genocide supporter fans are just bunch of edgy teenagers. Let's see how they support Genocide when they get massacred irl.

More useless drama for a character who is progressively getting more annoying by the minute (hi Jean)

Since the end of the second world war, japan was reconstructed almost entirely by young people, so probably this story will end showing that with some analogy. making that previous statement, i think it won’t be eren, or any of the older characters, since they lived and did the horrors they did and must somehow pay for it(and specially the PTSD most would have, so they’ll be probably incapacitated in some way), i think it will be Gabi, or maybe Falco or someone else, because they are just lost, Gabi changed her mind and personality so well(progress, developed it), so that’s why i think it would or maybe even should be her. am i expecting too much from Isayama?

I believe in the Time-Loop still. But ya, hope Final Battle is with Levi and Eren teaming up. (Also Mikasa a bit before...)

Honestly wished the first few pages were real. I would love it for Jean and Mikasa to actually get together.

Annie clearly has no big role to play, & I think she’s going to go home & find her father dying. On a more positive note, we finally got some character interaction!!

That soup tho

Why should Mikasa be the one who confronts Eren? lmao According to the final exhibition would Armin be the one who will confront Eren, but I'm sure "talk-no-jutsu" will fail as an outcome. It doesn't worked in chapter 112, why should it be different?.

The award goes to Isayama for being the first person writing a story in which I have absolutely 0 clue about what will happen next. Like I never ever was at such a loss of theories. Never.This is both awsome and frightening. At least for that, props to Isayama

Top-tier

Unfair

I love the cart titan

#snk 127 #snk chapter 127 #snk poll results #snk poll #snk polls.

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