#And ofc generative AI and the question of - if you did not put in the work to learn the skill itself what value does it have

[cyber-harpie]

I am well on my way to having read Every Single Prey Fanwork posted to Ao3

[obsidianpen]

Hello, Pen. I am the author of the document that has been circulating. It’s important to me that no one attacks Greyana or sends any negative comments or posts to her. The point of this information is to restore truth and clarity.

This document was originally intended for moderators of Tomione fandom spaces, to make them aware of the dishonest tactics Greyana has been using to harness fandom spaces to build her own brand. I’m all for writers who want to build an audience to enjoy their good writing, but early into Greyana’s participation in the Tomione fandom, it became clear that she was using fraudulent means: alt accounts posing as readers to build false hype around her story. Her thousands of followers on social media are littered with blank accounts, or “follow bots” which you can purchase from sites like UseViral, MediaMister or AccsMarket. Go take a look at some of the bot-driven services these websites offer, its very revealing.

In general AI claims are very difficult, almost impossible to prove, but Greyana made it easy. She boasted on her Vesperana account that she had written 200,000 words in two months, noting specifically that she had been updating Invictus as she went. Then, anyone can go and check the word counts of some of the tighter clusters of chapters she updated every day, or multiple times a day. There’s a spot where she uploaded 9,559 words in one day, and even 41,606 over two days. The math doesn’t math.

Once other fandom members started catching on, they had conversations about it in the Mud and Blood server. Not all the comments in this conversation were very respectful of Greyana, but the majority of the conversation was rational, and addressing very real concerns that this document proves were valid. These writers were frustrated, and understandably so, because AI use is a very controversial subject, plus the spam was absolutely flooding the fandom, exhasperating everyone. 

What’s most concerning, however, and what made me decide to write this information up, is that Greyana has responded to these instances where she was caught by manipulating the loyalty of those who enjoy her stories: twisting these people into attackers. Several authors have experienced these attacks. They are extremely vile. The attacks are why I have chosen to be anonymous.

Greyana has and continues to label accountability as bullying. I noticed that in her posts today, she had absolutly zero substance to offer as a rebuttal to this information, just a strange recommendation to require ID for Facebook group participants suspected to be purchased accounts (which I suspect she knows is an absurd non-starter for fandom), and a bit of trite gossip that could have come from anywhere. Nearly everyone in the fandom is aware of Greyana’s dishonest behavior, she shouldn’t be surprised that others have questions.

This information I have provided was not weaponized to hurt her, in fact, I did not go distributing links to anyone who wasn’t in a moderator/official rec account.

This is the simple fact: Greyana has not been bullied, she was caught.

If she has more information, or context explaining her actions, I welcome it. Her blatant dishonesty and harmful behavior should immediately change, and personally, I think she owes an apology to everyone she’s lied about and villified.

(okay well ofc i have to post this one).

Thank you for taking the time to put that together. I will now leave it at that. 🌸

[1eos]

i do love that true statements like 'there is no ethical consumption under capitalism' and 'billionaires are the problem' aren't just applied to things we literally have no choice but to participate in like all affordable grocery chains leeching off resources from the global south but things that you, quite literally, don't have to do.

you took a simple sentence about a specific situation to use genai in it's most superfluous way considering chatgpt IS NOT A SEARCH ENGINE and is not guaranteed to even spit out accurate information and the fact that WE HAVE SEARCH ENGINES that do what ppl are using chatgpt for. you won't die if you don't use ai

and i point the finger at generative ai users bc it's not just an environmental issue but a labor issue and a plagiarism issue bc the ~miracle tech~ was trained off the works of artists and writers who did not consent. so. should we just..... give ppl a free pass to feed small artists' work into ai just bc they're not billionaires? do you hate artists? so you're just OKAY with industries being gutted bc of ai? you're probably thinking 'ofc i don't why are you putting words in my mouth' well that's the same shit you just did 😭😭😭😭 not a word was uttered about billionaires. i just think. if ppl CLAIM to care about the ENVIRONMENT the least they can do is not evaporate a bottle of water just to ask ai a question they could simply duckduckgo

and bc i do actually care about the environment. and as an artist, care about not profiting off plagiarism, i will continue to never use genai if i can help it. and if that makes me smug.... so be it. i won't feel bad about it. and i think tone policing on tumblr is infinitely more and more embarrassing.

a lot of y'all would've been at abolitionist meetings going ':( i think it's messed up that you're JUDGING slave owners'. like? yes GIRL, i am judging ppl who can't do the barest minimum to slow down the rate at which capitalism is turning earth into a giant lobster boil 😭😭😭😭

mind you. im not saying you have to spend thousands on an electric car, or buy from local, organic sources you just have to NOT USE ONE application and that's too strict for you? we're cooked bc individuals like benjaminbadger are more upset at a post on niche microblogging website tumblr for being ~smug~ than the fact that the west is so obsessed with convenience they can't can't abscond from a piece of software for a specific purpose that it's not even built to do correctly and, im sorry to say but im feeling a lil judgy about that

'80 degrees in november we're cooked' and yet you still use chatgpt as a search engine

[i-did]

Do you know when the racism and ableism accusations against Nora started? Because back when I was active in 2016/2017 and don't think they were a thing, or were very low-key. Was it something she said or are people just basing it off the things she wrote in the books?

From what I remember, the first time I heard the blanket statement of “Nora is racist/fetishizes gay men” blanket statement was early fall 2019 (which is so ironic for the fandom to say on so many levels lmao). There wasn’t a catalyst or anything, just she went offline 2016 and no new content was coming out and the aftg fandom is such an echo chamber that… an accidental smear campaign happened.

 Before then, I would see occasional “Nora used ableist slur” which… is funny (not that ableism isn’t serious) to me people care more about that than Seth saying the f-slur. IMO this is because with Seth, it clearly shows the character thinking it and not the author who is writing about what will be an end game mlm relationship. 

But anyways! Long story short, it's the fact that she’s an ace/aro woman who wrote a mlm book, and based off of the events in canon. There is no “Nora called me/someone else a slur” it’s “Nora wrote a book where slur(s) are used” and “the Moriyama’s are Japanese.”

Below I put my own opinion on these claims and go into more detail:

CW for discussions of: racism, ableism, mlm fetishization

Fetishization: (and mentions of sexism at the end)

To one question in the EC about her inspo for aftg she jokingly responded how she wanted to write about gay athletes. On other parts of your blog you could see she was a hockey fan and an overall sports fan (anime or otherwise) but I've seen this statement taken out of context and framed as “she's one of those BOYXBOY” shippers. Considering how… well-developed both Andrew and Neil’s relationship is, and it takes them until like the 3rd book and there is a whole complex ass plot going on around, you can see how that's just. Not really true. And considering the fandom is like… 85% women (queer women but still women) and I've gotten into a discussion with someone who is a woman and called Nora a fetishizer and was ignoring my opinions as a mlm, and I really just wanted to say “well what does that make you?” it's a very ironic high horse. She didn’t write 3 all 3 books to put Neil in lingerie pwp or crop-top fem-fatal fashion show, fandom did. 

Also, I talked to an ace/aro friend about this, and she talked to me about how AFTG spoke to her very much so as an ace/aro story. Neil is demisexual, Nora didn’t know of the word at the time of reading it, but she did get an anon asking if Neil was demi after, and she said “had to look it up, and yep, but he doesn't really think about it” (paraphrased). Obviously it would have been cool if andreil were canonly written as wlw by Nora instead, (which would have increased the amount of wlw rep and demi rep) but tbh I don’t think tumblr would have cared about it nearly as much and everyone would just call Neil a cold bitch–like people do with Nora’s other published book with a main character who's a woman. Plus they're her OC’s, not mine. 

The fact is that 50% of all LGBT+ rep in literature is mlm, mostly white mlm, and not written by mlm. I’m not going to hold her to a higher standard than everyone else, she already broke a shit ton of barriers in topics she discusses that otherwise get ignored. I’m grateful to these books for existing even if it's a mlm story written by a woman. I still will prioritize reading mlm written by mlm–and vice versa with wlw– in the way I prioritize reading stories about POC written by POC. But credit where credit is due, this is a very good story, and a very good demi story. 

Ableism:

To me, AFTG is a story about ableism and how we perceive some trauma survivors more worthy than others. Neil and the foxes using ableist language shows how people actually talk. Neil thinks shitty things about Andrew, like the others do too, and thinks he's “psycho”. The story ultimately deconstructs this idea and these perceptions of people. Wymack, someone who says the r-slur (which is still not known by the general population as a slur even in 2021 much less the early 2000s when the book was beginning to be written and what the timeline is based off of) is a character who understands Andrew better than most of the others do, and gives him the most sympathy and understanding despite using words like the m-slur and r-slur. Using these words isn't good, but it is how people talk, and this character talks. Wymack is a playful “name caller” especially when he’s mad, the foxes think Andrew is “crazy” and incapable of humanity and love because of it. They call his meds “antipsychotics” as an assumption and insult in a derogatory way, when really antipsychotics are a very helpful drug for some people who need them. Even Neil thinks these things about Andrew until he learns to care about him. All the foxes are hypocritical to am extent, as people in real life tend to be. Nora herself doesn’t use these or tweet them or something, her characters do to show aspects of their personality and opinions and how they change over time.

Racism:

As for the racism, I've seen people talk about how racial minorities being antagonists is inherently bad, which I think lacks nuance but overall isn't a harmful statement or belief. However, Nora herself said she wrote in the yakuza instead of another gang or mob because she was inspired for AFTG by sports anime, (which often queer-bait for a variety of reasons). I haven’t seen a textual analysis acknowledging the racist undertones surrounding the Moriyama’s as the few characters of color who are also major antagonists, but instead just “Nora is racist”. Wymack having shitty flame tribal tattoo’s is just… a huge 90’s thing and a part of his character design. Her having a character with bad taste in tattoo trends doesn’t mean she's racist. There is the whole how Nicky is handled thing, but that's a whole thing on it’s own. The fandom… really will write Nicky being all “ai ai muy spicy, jaja imma hit on my white–not annoying like me–boyfriend in Spanish. With my booty hole out and open for him ofc.” and as a Mexican mlm I’m like … damn alright. 

I think there is merit to the fact that she writes white as the default* and unless otherwise stated a POC a character was written with the intent to be white is another valid criticism, as well as the fact that the cast is largely white, but everything Nora is accused of I've seen the fandom do worse. That goes to the debate of, is actively writing stereotypes for POC more harmful than no representation at all? And personally I prefer the lack of established race line that lets me ignore Nora’s canon intent of characters to be white and come up with my own HC’s over the fandoms depictions of “zen monk Renee with dark past” “black best friend Matt who got over drugs but is a puppy dog” “ex stripper black Dan who dates Matt” vague tokenism. I HC many of the upperclassmen as POC and do my best to actively give thought behind it and have their own arcs that also avoids the fandom colorism spectrum of “darkest characters we HC go to the back and fandom favorites are in the front and are the lightest.” 

*I however won't criticize her harsher or more than… everyone else who still largely does this in fanfiction regarding AFTG as well as literature in general. This isn't a Nora thing, it's a societal thing, and considering the books came out in like 2014 I'm not gonna hold her to a higher standard than the rest of the world. She's just someone who wrote her personal OC’s and self-published expecting no following. I don’t know her race and I’m not gonna hold her to a higher standard than everyone else just because. 

The criticisms I've seen have always been… ironic IMO, and clearly I have a lot of thoughts on it. I think most people say those things about Nora because they heard them, and it's the woke thing to say and do and don’t critically analyze their actions or anything, but just accept them. 

[pilotheather]

hey i never really watched or followed the chibnall era what was wrong with his writing that made people happy he’s gone

i think this will get you different opinions based on who you ask.

a LOT of people were extremely unhappy with the s12 timeless child plot twist. which, if you don't know: basically he redestroyed gallifrey, and revealed the doctor is not a timelord at all, but was instead the progenitor OF the timelords (a child that kept regenerating, even when they died) and that she was tortured on as a child, being repeatedly killed to realise the secret behind her regenerative abilities, to create the timelord race and then had her mind wiped.

which, im not a fan of. some ppl are? but mostly it panned: lots of ppl are unhappy, bc theyre saying it's "ruining the lore"; personally i dont mind since dw is fast and loose with its canon - and im moreso unhappy about centreing the doctor as, like, the big important chosen one in the universe (like blech) bc its just such a stale narrative decision.

but even before that there was a lot of criticism of chibnalls writing. and again: ur gonna get different opinions on who you ask. there's, uh, for example... a LOT of ppl (off tumblr, mostly) who tout it as sjw bullshit (yawn) bc of jodie and the diverse tardis team. that's bs outrage over nowt, ofc. but like- other than that its just... the writing. yeah, some ppl like it but ik a lot are unahppy with it for different reasons.

and to, like, summarise my own thoughts on chibbers writing: there's LOTS of little things that sort of build up for me. but at the crux of it? personally i dont think the man can write sci-fi - like, at all. thats my own personal main gripe with him. i hear he's good at straightforward drama: whilst ive never seen broadchurch myself, a lot of ppl whose opinions i trust liked it well enough; and furthermore, when it came to torchwood, he did have one or two eps in there that i liked in premise. however, when it comes to sci-fi, i respectfully think he just flounders. like he just cant integrate those other skills he has into a scifi story. the tardis was super overcrowded in s11&s12 (and that brought its own issues) but even still it was sort of... laughable, how much development the companions got. a lot of the time they'd sit there like pints of milk and just?? not really do anything? it got a little better in s12- but its like... he doesnt know how to handle a sci-fi storyline, whilst also exploring the characters in tandem and its like theyre just theyre as objects to move things along. its really fuckin weird.

like, in the most recent episode (last years NY's special, Revolution of the Daleks) the pacing was so strange. there's this whole section in the middle of all the action, where they just STOP and talk inside of the tardis. and don't get me wrong - i dont mind a heart to heart! but a lot of the companions are, like, purely telling and not showing their personality msot of the time - and thats it! its so... stale. they just stand around, state something about themselves and then just do nothing half the time? bc he just doesn't know how to use them in the stories. unlike in rtd or moffat era, where you'd have the companions jumping in and actually interacting with stuff- you'd know its just... like theyre being swept away by the plot. and you could frankly cut them out of almost all of the episodes, replace them with a sonic screwdriver or some other technobabble and it just wouldnt make any damn difference to the vibe of the ep, which is a shame bc they had PROMISE as ideas but they just don't pull their weight.

and i think that's just... super unfortunate. bc a lot of the pull with nuwho especially IS the companions and their personalities and when theyre just flat cardboard cutouts its got no energy. not to mention, like, the companions really facilitate a lot of the plots themselves- not the other way round! having companions ask questions, explore, and make decisions and react to stuff... that's IMPORTANT to really realising a lot of it. there's been a lot of times in eps where i was watching it and i just WANTED desperately for one of them to do something, to ask the doctor about it but like... she kind of just stands around and talks to herself? then there's a canned comment abt how theyre the #fam? its like. ok.

and then its like- maybe if they were being pushed to the side, and the show was servicing plot over characters that would be ONE thing but its also like i get a LOT of insecurity in general from chris when it comes to sci-fi writing, too. which ok, dude. but its like- he'll introduce a concept, but never fully explore it; he'll just drop it, and introduce something else; and then drop that and move on. and its like... we dont get any actual playing with whats going on? its like-

its just all... ultimately very superficial. like ai generated doctor who. i dont want to say it hasnt got heart, but sometimes it really feels like it you know? and a lot of it is just.. flat. because you can bring in lots of cool stuff (visuals, bring back jack, build a found family type, give us a fun quirky doctor) but if you just don't actually put work into making it all happen then its just going to be like, pretty wrapping paper on an empty box, yeah? and so its like- its like theres PIECES in a lot of s11 and s12 that are right, and they're fine, and they could make for good stories but he just doesn't know how to use them. like, at all.

and there's honestly like. a lot of other... smaller things that i could mention. i feel like theres just like... lots of little issues wrong with it all, but theyre all so fundamental and they all just build up and its just- it just culminates in bad writing, man. not moffat type of bad. but just... nothing interesting at best; frustrating at worst.

ofc theres ppl who will disagree with me and like it and thats fine. and theres also ppl who will have other things they dont like abt it that they can bring up. i would advise lookin thru ppl talking abt it on here more, omg. get a nice lil crossection of all the little messes ppl babble on abt.

[aquanology]

Hey~~ so I have nothing in mind right now so I want to talk about 19 days bc firstly why not and secondly I'm boerd soooooo yeah but im just going to talk about why would u watch it and why some ppl like it more than other bl/yaoi(19 days is a Shonen Ai tho) manga and other things ofc so let's get started:

1. why would you watch it?And why do you like it?

Well that is because it really is more complicated i mean the mcs' are all in middle school and they are still developing alot they have thier own fears and life, and yk its kinda of unusual cuz they don't start from i fell in love with that boy or "I did it" with that boy that I have a crush on(they are in middle school so...), it starts more peacefully and yk it progress over time and its not about these boys falling in love its about them growing up, going through thier wounds and treating it slowly, one of its gener/s is slice of life (which is one of best genre for love stories and its relaxing)so this answers these two questions,

Now I want to talk about why most viewers/fans like the second couple(He tian × Mo guan shan) more than the first/main couple (Zhan zheng xi × Jian yi) which is common in alot of love stories not only bl or yaoi, why would u say? Well thats bc writers/Authors make the main couple more safe like the author would put a couple like Zheng xi and Jian yi that are more safe to work on cuz first they're childhood friends they are best friends, so basically they can understand each other easier and accept each other to some limits, but when it comes to the second couple (TianShan) it feels different and alot of viewrs prefer if more than first couple why u may ask? Well that's bc the both of them are completely strangers to each other, at the start they both don't alot about each other or caring about people and yeah it might start as "toxic" but it changes by time bc they get to not only know more about each other (even if it one information) but they get to heal each other wounds and comfort each other, and yeah it won't completely heal but it will feel better than not healing it, so its basically a relationship that changes from toxic to something more wholesome even by a slight bit, anyways im done here and a small note i love both couple they are extremely good and beautiful and its ok to like any of them or even none.

[centrally-unplanned]

Oh for sure, don't worry I would have no expectation for you to know this or anything, but that question was a bit rhetorical - I blogged a bunch about Vicky 3 recently, and actually blogged precisely about this topic when the game was first being developed! It is absolutely true that the "meta" of Vicky 2 was, in part, to absolutely cheese the military by say underfunding your own so you can focus on development and then using micro to outplay the AI. What they wanted to do was eliminate micro as a skillset so that other factors such as tech/industry/leaders become the dominant way to "win", and I approve of that.

To take your post as an excuse to sort of dig into that (sorry for the hijack! ^^) I have two thoughts on that approach. One is that yes, that goal is good, but not only does the system "not work" it doesn't work in extremely unforced ways. Imagine military units were manually controlled but otherwise the system is pretty much the same, and the "base provinces" for fighting are quite big, like the "HQ" units on the map

(you can make em a bit smaller, don't worry about the specifics). So you click a unit to a territory, and then it "enters" the territory and the game does the same exact thing it does now - lots of little battle events trigger, the "random encounter" elements prevent you from micro-massing to constantly outnumber the AI and the provinces are too big for that anyway. Then you win or lose, and if attacking and winning you occupy the province over time.

That absolutely accomplishes 90% of their goal. Almost all wars would be "take armies, throw them at territory I want to conquer, they fight", cheese is way down, and it reduces clicky clicky a ton. Except I can actually control my god damn units so that if something goes wrong, it is my fault and I know how to fix it, as opposed to an AI's fault that I have no clue how to fix.

I think that "player agency" thing is their real achilles heel, because they keep running into the fact that players want to be involved in their wars, and so they have in fact made combat more complex than it is in Vicky 2 in service of making their non-interactive system feel interactive. The UI is such a hot mess, look at this screen that is just for supply bonuses for armies:

That is 16 toggles for each army. Nothing like that exists in Vicky 2 - but ofc it is fake complexity, typically you just toggle on 80% of them and forget it, but you have to do it! And when you build new armies you choose the specific location of every single brigade's barracks, and generals get hired, promoted, die/retire, gotta replace them! Gotta enable one of these 7 different tactics based on infantry/artillery ratios you manually set for each army because no standardized build cloner exists! And if you have 4 cavalry units in your army now you can trigger the Zerg Rush Offense tactic which gives you plus 13 pierce damage against Qing Eunuch Wizard Brigades but if you go full infantry you can cast Wall of Iron for +50% defense, hmmmmm!

That level of complexity is fine, fun even, if you want your game to be a complex war simulation. But didn't you tell me you didn't???? Wasn't that the whole point??? And there is absolutely nothing comparable to putting in the work of toggling 8 supply bonuses and building 30 barrack buildings spread out among your provinces to minimize revolt risk and hiring 4 generals with Adamant Defense tactics to lead an army for it to recieve its order to Enter Korea and have it fuck off into Siberia because the AI thinks that is the same front. It is a hydra of design, everything is warped around the idea that "micro" is bad but micro is defined solely as manually moving units. Trying to make it interesting without that has spiraled out of control.

The second point I want to mention is, okay, you wanna reduce military cheese. I get why you wanted that in Vicky 2, since players would just go on these ahistorical map-painting sprees. But the reason they did that in Vicky 2 is that they didn't have anything else to do? Vicky 2 was complex to figure out, but once you did it was very simple to play. You set up the gov you want, build factories, click the expand button sometimes, research tech. Otherwise you wait...and do military stuff. The military was the only place you could go clicky clicky, it demanded your detailed involvement to execute on. But that is less of a problem with the military, and way more of a problem with the rest of the game.

Vicky 3 absolutely nipped this in the bud. The economy allows and demands a ton of individual decisions - every farm, mine, and factory can be built by the player, even if it doesn't have to be. You can constantly go to the market screen, go "okay what are we short on", and build more farms, set up more trade routes, reduce its use as an input good, etc. Every economic building as a "tech line" for how it produces the good, often multiple tech lines - but they don't upgrade automatically, they are individual toggles that use different goods as inputs and so sometimes you don't want to immediately upgrade, and it is all on this crazy screen:

Set aside the bad UI and some downstream issues right now, as a concept this is good design! As a player I need to make decisions about "how are we upgrading my economy from iron to steel machine tools?" Are we ready? Do I need to build more steel mills in preparation? Maybe set up some iron trade routes for that? This is micro, in a good sense, you as a player need to get involved.

Which means that if you don't want to do a military map painter game, you aren't going to be bored anymore! You will have a ton to do, you don't need to do it at all. You do need to reduce micro, sure, but you can also just fight less in general - that is up to you now. And the diplo system also pushes back against mass-scale conquest. The problem Vicky 2 had has essentially vanished - you don't need to fix it beyond some simple micro reductions that say Hearts of Iron 4 for example already did better.

And when it comes to cheesing the AI with tactics...who really cares? It is a sandbox game! It isn't hard to beat the AI, it isn't a competitive game, what are you achieving with this? Players self-direct every single game, by explicit design. You should aim to reduce the cheese, but you do that by building a simple system that the AI can handle so options for cheese are limited. You don't do it by building a system the AI can't handle and then making the player incapable of fixing the AI's mistakes, so now it is AI versus AI and they are both equally bad. That isn't an answer! That is a punt.

Which I think is part of my core frustration with the system - you can tell they put a ton of work into it, but at the very base it is a fool's errand. Vicky 2's combat system wasn't broken as a core mechanic, it was just executed badly (The combat map has thousands of provinces, you begged for micro! Just don't do that!) in a game that was light on player input. Now you have a totally new game but are fighting the last decade's war, and doing it badly. It seems incredibly avoidable, and has cost them so much time as a dev team for no real purpose.

Was playing Vicky 3 again, a new Japan run with the VFM mod (which helps add more event depth) and I have definitely gotten the hang of the econ system even more, it has its flaws but the core works very well. I have advanced on getting the political system a bit too, can implement reforms and such. And I studied the military, learned where some opaque stuff in the UI is, etc.

So I go to invade Korea to liberate it off the Qing, declaring war while the UK is invading them to double team them. I try to naval invade Korea...and my attacks get "cancelled" because there are British troops in Korea, we aren't the same war. So I have to wait for that war to *finish* to attack, defeating the point of this strat.

I do, I naval invade Korea, but my attack gets blocked up by endless streams of Qing boats that I beat over and over but since they "exist" in the naval zone I can't progress. Meanwhile the Qing do naval landings in the North of Japan, and I beat them a dozen times, but one attack slips through and "lands" in Chubu.

This "shifts" the combat front system from "defend all of Japan from naval invasions" to "now there is a specific front" - and none of my units auto-deploy to it, so that lone invasion force sweeps a bunch of land before I notice it a few days later. I click my armies near Tokyo to deploy to the "front" near Kyoto to fight them off...at which point they all get on boats and try to autodeploy to Kyushu island - technically part of the same front - leaving the path to Tokyo completely empty and allowing the enemy to advance. And when they do reach Tokyo, that becomes a new "front" causing my units that sailed to Kyushu to sail *back*, which then gets cancelled again since sailing is slower than marching and the whole island is taken by the time they get there and since this is a "front redeploy" i guess it doesn't count as a naval invasion?

I pressed one button - deploy to Kansai front - in that entire sequence.

What problem was this system supposed to solve? What wasn't working with "click on army, have it move to territory, fight"? In Hearts of Iron 4, you have AI-managed fronts? But you don't have to do that, you can manually click them too. It just auto-controls the functional, intuitive system for you so you don't have to micro. Here the AI system is the only way anything functions, so if it breaks your military deletes itself and you can't intervene. And it isn't really less micro intensive! Because if you aren't like 24/7 hawk-eyed on the fronts you aren't going to notice when they just decide to Deploy to HQ because one battle was lost and you need to frantically reclick them which will maybe help but you can't be sure because you are only guessing where units will go.

I get btw that if you are fighting on a land border this system at least functions - but it does not function better than Hearts of Iron 4's system there. It is still annoying to have no control when the units path like madmen. But for now doing anything military with island nations is just insane. Maybe I can figure out cheat codes for auto-winning wars just to make the roleplay go smooth lol.

[sohelish]

so I’ve recently finished the quest where you get to meditate and it made me think things...

it’s kinda weird because I didn’t listen into meditation

(like idk I don’t think I can do it my mind starts to wander)

so I’m not sure what the monk talked about however at the end of the quest johnny appears and here’s what’s super odd:

the quest description is basically johnny’s inner comments and during the meditation he kept being all grumpy in the description, saying stuff like the monk’s a fraud and like, if u wanna chill put on my album, blah-blah he doesn’t like meditation ofc he doesn’t

and then when he pops after the quest: a) he says he feels like dog’s shit; b) he doesn’t remember any monk, even tho the monk did leave things behind and if you pay him you do lose money so he is real; c) I think he forgot misty’s name because he goes: talk to... er... misty. talk to misty about it.

+ you can ask the monk a question and I tried all of those

one is: what are you teaching me exactly; and he says something about helping you make a decision in the end

what I’m going on about is ???

the game totally just made me doubt if johnny is sentient at all, like at all at all

there are so many quests about whether an AI is sentient enough to be an AI etc. etc. like the Brendan quest where Brendan himself says he’s just generating phrases in a cool way... however it does make you wonder if he’s still sentient because if he is this aware maybe aware is enough?

(if you help the monks in the pacifist non-lethal way you meet them again and they have a lot of insight about souls and soul copies)

but what got me is...

if meditation is enough to push johnny out and make him forget things and make him lose his grip on v’s consciousness, isn’t he more like an idea than a sentient being?

I honestly don’t know anymore

but I do know that I tried to meditate to stop thinking bad thingsand to combat obsessive thoughts (didn’t work for me xD)

so is... johnny just an obsessive thought?! gasp plot twist

because even hel/v at this point feels at least a little bad about potentially having to kill him

but if he’s not even that real... I mean

you kinda get connected to Brendan and Skippy but when they reset you’re like... huh... not the same as saying goodbye to jackie is it?

okay, comparing AIs to humans is unfair...

take EDI from M.ass Effe.ct or even Legion who was developing sentience before your eyes...

ok I’m rambling, anyway. this quest kinda made me think that johnny’s more like a bunch of complex generated phrases rather than EDI

like idk maybe the monk hinted at the fact that johnny isn’t johnny but is just some of his written memories that kinda created a second personality in v’s head... but only because the basis already existed for it?

anger, desire for a companion in jackie’s place who died. a companion you’re chooms with but also at odds often

lol v desperately wanted a friend and created an imaginary one out of whatever data was stored on the chip and used her anger as a base for it haha

he is a manifestation of v’s anger and desire not to die alone lmao

ok this is sad tho...

[tilltheendwilliwrite]

The Bodyguard

Chapter Ten

Master List  |  Bucky Barnes Master List

Previous Chapter

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x OFC  I Word Count: 5212 Warnings: Fluff, Bucky being Bucky, smexy

This chapter brought to you care of @diinofayce through Coffee Updates. Thanks for your support, hun!

Bucky shuddered gently against Penny, while his mind whirled with her revelation. "You have to tell Steve.”

"I can't. Not just yet.”

"Penelope Grace," he growled against her neck.

"Bucky. Not just yet. I'll tell him when I've gone through all the options, but until that time, how can I place more stress on him? He's off saving the world. He doesn't need to be thinking about me while he's doing it.”

"Penny…” Bucky sighed and looked at her, but gave up when she gave him the stubborn face.

"I'm not giving up, Buck. I won't. I promise, but I have to do this my way.”

"Stubborn as a mule,” Bucky grumbled, tugging her close so he could rest his cheek on the top of Penny's head.

"Ma'am? Sorry to interrupt,” Friday said into the silence. "The detective is back, and he brought friends.”

Bucky growled a second time against Penny, far more feral and angrier than before. "What kind of friends?”

"Special Agent Julie Markov and Special Agent Anthony Barrow of the FBI, and his NYPD Captain, Ryan Harris.”

"Run all three.”

"Bucky.” Penny rested her head on his chest. "I'm too tired and worn out for this.”

"I know, baby girl. You head upstairs and get changed. I'll deal with them until you're ready.” He stroked her hair, then her cheek. “I'll even make you some tea.”

She smiled and nodded. "What will you tell them?”

"As close to the truth as I can. But I think it's better to let SHIELD deal with the money aspect. It's still Hydra. Regular cops aren't equipped to deal with them.

Penny winced. "Um, Buck? We need to talk about the money. I have something to tell you about… all that.”

"Pen?”

"Sergeant? The police are still requesting entrance,” Friday interrupted.

"Did you contact Tamara yet?” he asked, still staring at the fidgeting Penny.

"Miss Smith is on her way. She will be here as soon as she can.”

"Let them up,” Bucky muttered. "Talk fast, Penny.”

"I've been screwing with Hydra's finances for years, so even though they've stolen eighty-two million from me, I've cost them eleven times that much.”

"What!” he shouted.

"Through back channels and anonymous reports to the Attorney General, Miss Rogers has shut down numerous Hydra fronts, false charities, and exposed a number of high powered Hydra supporters. In total, Penelope has removed nine hundred forty-six million, three hundred twenty-seven thousand, four hundred eight dollars and twelve cents from Hydra's coffers,” Friday announced.

"Holy fuck!” Bucky bellowed. "That's motive to kill you, Penny! Why the hell didn't you tell me this earlier?”

"I didn't think it was relevant because they don't know it's me! I swear my trail is untraceable. I've been doing this as long as I've had Marquis, and everything is sent via hardcopy and flash drive to the AG's office. Not even a trace of DNA or a fingerprint left behind. I'm good at this, Bucky. Really good.”

"I want to see it. Your files. Your setup. All of it.”

"It's all in my lab at work.”

"Jesus, Penelope! Anyone could gain access to your damn lab!”

Her hands framed his face. "Shut up for one damn minute and listen!” She waited until he nodded before speaking. "Not my regular lab. My secret lab. The one beneath the building.”

"That's some fucking mad scientist crap, dollface,” he smirked when the shock wore off.

She breathed out a sigh and shot him a wink before returning her satchel of serum to the safe in the wall. “What more would you expect from a literal genius?” she snickered over her shoulder.

“Sergeant Barnes. The police will be arriving in sixty seconds.”

“On it, Friday.” Bucky took one more long look at Penny. “You okay, Pen?”

“Too much exertion today, but I'm steady now. I’ll be fine and down in a few minutes. Don’t shoot anyone unless you have too.”

He beat her to the doorway and took her by the waist. “No more secrets. What you know, I need to know. Promise?”

She tilted her chin up and looked him directly in the eyes. “That’s it. I swear.”

“I believe you, darlin’.” Ducking his head, he kissed her quickly, a swift mating of lips which didn’t last nearly long enough. “Go on,” he murmured when he lifted his head.

“I was going until you sidetracked my brain,” she grumbled, heading down the hall to the secondary set of stairs.

Bucky chuckled as he returned to the living room and took a quick look around. He had weapons stashed everywhere from behind the couch cushions to taped to the undersides of the tables and more in the kitchen. There were four of them coming, all armed, all trained. "Friday, can you turn the kettle on?"

"Of course, Sergeant."

He shook out his flesh arm and rolled the metal one hard, calibrating it from the shoulder down like Stark had shown him. “Give me the rundown, Friday.” Having not bothered to remove the Bluetooth from his ear, she spoke directly to him.

“Special Agent Julie Markov. She is a ten year veteran of the FBI, currently assigned to the Criminal, Cyber, Response, and Services Branch. In her years there she has been accredited with taking down a number of dirty business relating to drug or gang crime, as well as white-collar crime. If I had to guess, Penny’s attack and subsequent investigation by the IRS has caused them to launch an investigation of their own. Her partner, Special Agent Anthony Barrow, is an expert in white-collar crime and computer-based crime. It is perhaps better not to inform them of my presence. Knowing she employed an AI to compile the data on Taft will only cause them to collect a warrant so they may compile their own data apart from what I’ve already done, and poke their noses into parts of Marquis they have no business getting into. I have put together a file with all our relevant information, the reports submitted by Taft, and the real data, cross-referenced and correlated, along with the money trail from the subsidiaries Taft was using.”

“Thought we’d decided to leave it to SHIELD?” Bucky murmured when the door announced their arrival.

“Well, I only gave them the money as far as I could follow prior to Jarvis’ involvement. If we stonewall them, Sergeant, they will not let it go.”

“Tricky girl,” he chuckled.

“The Captain, Ryan Harris. I do not know why he is here,” Friday murmured. “His record is impeccable with only a few minor incidents in his beat cop days. It appears he had difficulty with authority.”

“Don’t we all.” This time, Bucky didn’t meet them at the door but off to one side, his gun in his hand. Once all four were out of the elevator, he stepped silently from the shadows with the weapon pointed at their heads. “That’s far enough.”

“Barnes!” McGilvery snarled. “You really want to get arrested, don’t you?”

“Not particularly,” Bucky muttered, “But there’s four of you and only one of little old me, so I’ll thank you to remove your service weapons slowly, and the backups, and place them on the table one at a time. You can pick them up on your way out.”

“Sergeant,” the woman took a step forward but froze when Bucky arched a brow. “My name is-”

“Special Agent Julie Markov. Ten year veteran with the FBI, CCRSB. I know who you are, ma’am. At the moment, I don’t give a flying fuck if you’re the President. You aren’t coming near Miss Rogers armed. Not after today.”

“We want to talk to you-” McGilvery started in.

“Do I look like I care at all about what you want, McGilvery? Last time you were here you made unfounded accusations in regards to Penelope. How was the phone call from Steve? That go well for you?” The first thing he’d done out of the shower was send in his report to Steve. Not all of it, of course, but enough, including McGilvery and his asinine comments.

Steve may have been flying over the Atlantic on his way to a mission, but nothing would stop him from coming to Penny’s defence. And when Captain America called, you picked up the damn phone. Bucky knew McGilvery had gotten an earful, likely Harris as well.

“That’s why I’m here, Sergeant. To offer my sincerest apologies to Miss Rogers and assure both of you Detective McGilvery will be on his best behaviour from here on out.”

“Fantastic. Weapons. On the table.”

“If you think I’m going to give up my gun because some washed out Avenger tells me to-”

“Barrow!” Markov snapped. “The Sergeant is well within his rights to ask us to remove our weapons. Miss Rogers has been put in mortal danger twice. As head of her security, it's understandable he’d be… distressed having four unknown and armed people anywhere near her.”

“Look at you go, doll. Got it in one. Weapons. Table. Then you can sit in the living room and ask your questions. Or you can get back on that elevator, and we can meet you at SHIELD’s New York office and conduct this interview under Director Fury’s watchful eye.”

Markov was the first to relent, pulling her service weapon from her hip and placing it on the table. She dropped into a slow crouch and added the ankle revolver before moving further into the room. “We can all be civilized, can’t we, gentlemen?”

Harris was second, his service weapon and back up landing beside Markov’s. McGilvery gave his up begrudgingly, but it was Barrow who crossed his arms and glared at Bucky.

“It’s not happening.”

“Then get out of my house.”

Bucky didn’t look; he didn’t need to. Penny’s oddly beating heart had betrayed her the moment she made her way down the hall to the top of the stairs.

“Miss Rogers, we’re FBI. Surely this isn’t necessary.” Barrow turned on the charm as Penny descended the stairs.

She’d changed out of the pink dress but was no less stunning in skinny jeans and a floaty white top covered by a grey sweater. The knot she’d worn in her hair had come loose in their mad run through the hospital, but she’d somehow managed to pile her wealth of blonde curls up on her head. Penny appeared casual, but there was no mistaking the quality of anything she had on.

Poised and polished, she stopped halfway down the stairs with her hand on the railing and let the ice queen out. If it was wrong getting a thrill watching her go cold on people, Bucky didn’t want to be right, because when her eyes went glacial, and her chin jacked up, it kicked him right in the balls with a hard shot of lust.

“I don’t care if you’re the Queen of England. You will remain unarmed in my home, or vacate it immediately. I have been blown up, shot at, and shot at again by people who were supposed to be some form of security or protection. Perhaps you can see why I am reluctant to have anyone enter my home with a weapon.”

Tall at six feet two inches, Barrow still had to tilt his head up to look Penny in the eyes. His skin had taken on a ruddy flush of anger, causing the pock marks from acne scars to surface white in the red. He thrust his hand through his shaggy mop of curling chestnut hair, but finally tugged his service weapon from beneath his arm, and crouched to remove the one at his ankle. Both landed with a thud on the table.

“And the one at your back,” Bucky said.

Narrowed eyes of sharp obsidian glared at him, but Barrow complied and added it to the pile. Bucky lowered his gun and returned it to the holster beneath his arm.

“Excellent. Now, we can finish, and you can all get the hell out.” Penny made her way down the final few stairs.

“If someone wanted you dead, Miss Rogers, removing their gun isn’t going to stop them,” Barrow stated, clearly angry as he stomped toward Penny.

“That’s where you’re wrong, Agent. You could try to hurt me, but that’s why he’s here. And if you think for one moment you could lay a hand on me while there was still a single breath left in the Sergeant’s body, well then, you’d most likely be dead. Right, Buck?”

“Right,” Bucky growled from directly behind Barrow who flinched a lot harder than McGilvery had.

“Damn,” Harris muttered. “He is quiet,” he said to McGilvery who only rolled his eyes.

Penny made her way into the kitchen where she turned off the boiling kettle - thank you Friday - and reached for a teapot made of glass. “Can I get anyone anything?” she asked, adding loose tea to the filter.

“Answers,” grumbled McGilvery.

“I’ll take a tea,” Markov spoke over him.

“Tea would be great,” Harris agreed.

“Coffee?” Barrow asked.

“Fresh out,” Bucky said, leaning against the counter with his arms crossed.

“Bucky. Don’t be an ass.” Penny shoved him in the ribs and stuck a cup beneath the fancy coffee maker of hers. “Strong, super strong, or stand a spoon in it, Agent…?”

“Barrow, ma’am. Special Agent Barrow and this is Special Agent Markov,” he motioned to his partner, “and the stronger, the better.”

She set the dial and walked away to place the teapot and three mugs on the island. “I’m assuming this is about the hospital today?”

“Among other things.” Markov sat on a stool at the island, clearly working to make Penny as comfortable as possible. “Miss Rogers, we don’t believe for a moment you have anything to do with the attack on you at your office or the one that took place today.”

“Ain’t that a relief.” Sarcasm laced Bucky’s voice.

“But we do believe someone is using your company to clean dirty money.”

Penny nodded, not bothering to look at any of them. “And why would you think that?”

“Your profit and loss margins are out of sync,” Barrow said, eyeing Penny like she was fresh meat and he was a vulture.

Bucky plucked an apple from the bowl beside him and flicked a knife out of nothing he used to begin peeling it. He'd never seen four people come to attention so hard before and had to fight not to laugh.

“They’ve been taking bigger risks. Moving larger sums of money at one time and causing red flags to show across the board.” Markov frowned. “But you already knew that, didn’t you?”

“Penny. Wait for Tamara,” Bucky cautioned, the thin strip of red apple peel getting longer.

“She’s stuck in cross traffic, and as Agent Markov has already stated, I'm not a suspect,” Penny murmured, returning for Barrow’s coffee. “His name is Marcus Taft. He's been in charge of finances for my company since the beginning, and from what I’ve been able to piece together, he’s been washing money through my company since the beginning.”

“You didn’t think this information was relevant last night!” McGilvery snapped.

Penny’s head whipped up, and her eyes ran cold a second time. “Before last night I knew nothing about it!”

“McGilvery! Zip it!” Harris snapped. “My apologies, Miss Rogers for your poor treatment at the hands of my officer.”

She waved off his apology. “I care very little for the politics which happen within agencies, Captain, but I won’t tolerate being spoken to and blindsided like that a second time.” She tugged her phone from her back pocket, tapped a half dozen keys and swiped upward. All four of them beeped at roughly the same time. “That is everything you will need to charge Marcus Taft with money laundering, theft, and embezzlement. The financial statements go back ten years, since the beginning of my company, and I’ve followed the money as far as I can. You’ll have to work outward from there.”

Barrow was already scrolling through the document. “This is impossible! You couldn’t possibly compile all this data in one night!”

“Agent Barrow, I build and maintain the most complex set of computer servers in the world, rivalled only by those of Tony Stark. Yes, I assure you, I can put that together in such little time.”

The Duchess in her voice made Bucky's cock throb. He just wanted to pin her to the fridge and kiss the sass right out of her. When he finished peeling the apple, he set a single uniform width strip of apple peel on the counter and began to slice small sections off he ate from the blade.

“Why is some of this blacked out?” McGilvery asked, clearly trying to ignore Bucky and his knife.

Penny placed a jar of honey and a small bowl of sugar on the island. “The redacted files are Government contracts. I can guarantee none of you have security clearance that high.”

“I could get it if I needed it,” Markov muttered, still reading.

“No, Agent. You couldn’t. Not even Captain America has clearance to read those files. You certainly won't obtain clearance to know even the names of those contracts.” All four of them looked at her in surprise. “He may be my brother, but I sure as shit don’t tell him everything,” Penny smirked as she poured the tea.

“I’d like a chance to go over these with you, Miss Rogers,” Barrow said, continuing to scroll.

“That won’t be necessary. It’s all perfectly self-explanatory.”

“Is this the real reason behind the attack on you?” Harris asked. “Rather than the bogus story SHIELD fed us?”

“We suspect so,” Bucky answered when Penny glanced his way. “But can’t rule out a Steve connection until Taft is brought in and questioned.” He held out a piece of apple Penny plucked from the tip of his knife and ate without thought.

Harris shot McGilvery a look.

“I’ll call it in,” the Detective murmured and walked away to use his phone.

“We’re going to want first crack at him. We need to know who he’s been laundering the money for. Unless you figured that part out already?” Markov asked.

Penny shrugged. “Not so far.” She blinked innocently, sipping her tea. When the coffee maker beeped, she retrieved Barrow's cup.

The steely eye Markov observed her for a long moment, but Penny didn’t flinch. If he hadn't been able to hear the odd beat of her heart, Bucky would have assumed she was entirely honest.

“Hm,” Markov hummed. “Now, Sergeant. You want to tell us how you deflected three bullets with your arm?”

“Nope. SHIELD tech. Proprietary information. Clearance would have to come through them.”

She rolled her eyes, Barrow gritted his teeth, but Harris only grinned. It appeared the Captain was having a very good time getting out from behind his desk.

“If I do have questions about this,” Barrow pointed at his phone, “is it alright if I call?”

“If you must. Email is better. I’m good at multitasking,” Penny said, wandering toward Bucky. She leaned into him, hip cocked, and one knee bent to drink her tea. Bucky’s arm went possessively around her waist, solidifying the statement she was making. They were a team, and Bucky the only one of all of them she trusted.

Markov ran an appreciative eye over him before sending Penny a smirk and a nod. Evidently, the Special Agent approved.

“The men at the hospital were hired guns. Both had a reputation for collateral damage and more than two dozen confirmed kills to each of their names. No one is sad to see them go, but we’re going to have to get your statement of what happened,” Harris said.

“Can’t you just use the hospital’s security footage?” Penny asked.

“There are discrepancies in how it looks on film. Why did you stop before you exited the ER? How did you know to turn when you did? Where did your car come from to pick you up when, from what we could tell, you two were alone?”

Bucky scowled at McGilvery returning from his call. “You gonna ask if I’m in on it this time?”

“Are you?”

“Watch it, McGilvery. One day your mouth is gonna run, and you’ll find yourself with fewer teeth,” Bucky warned. “I’ve been a sniper a long ass time. You learn to listen to your instincts, and when the hair rises on the back of your neck, you make a tactical retreat until you figure out why. Something didn’t feel right when we made to leave out the front, so I changed the plan. When the guys who’d been milling around out front came at us with guns drawn, I fired back. Then I got Penny out of there as fast as possible.”

“Picking her up was just a bonus?”

He shifted his glare to Barrow. “Faster that way. She always wears these ankle-bustin’ shoes.”

“You opened fire in a crowded hospital. You could have missed.”

Back to McGilvery. “Like I said. Sniper. I don’t miss. Only one with more accuracy than me is the Hawk.”

“Hawkeye? Clint Barton?”

“Yeah. We done here?” Bucky looked to Markov who seemed to be running the show.

“How’d you move the car?”

“SHIELD tech. Classified.”

McGilvery’s lip curled up into a snarl. “Convenient.”

“We’re done here.” Markov pushed from her stool. “Thank you for the tea, Miss Rogers, and your cooperation. We’ll be in touch.”

“I’ll be plugging that hole by cutting off access to those monetary channels as soon as you pick up Marcus,” Penny said, following them to toward the elevator.

“Ma’am, we can’t let you do that until we get in there and follow-”

Penny cut Barrow off with a raised hand. “And is the Bureau going to compensate me millions of dollars if I leave it open? I’m eighty-two million in the hole as it is these last ten years. You want me to leave those channels available you’d best be able to get me my money back.”

“Close the holes, Miss Rogers,” Markov nodded, returning her gun to her hip.

“Will do, Agent Markov.” Penny smiled at the Captain. “And thank you for coming, Captain. It’s allowed cooler heads to prevail.”

He shook her hand when she offered it. “A pleasure, ma’am.”

“Let’s hope the next time we cross paths it’s at the NYPD Gala.”

“Looking forward to your speech, Miss Rogers.”

“Penny, please,” she smiled. “Well, in a few weeks then.”

They collected their weapons as Bucky watched and got on the elevator. Once the doors closed, Penny sagged into him.

“Whoa, Pen. You okay?”

“Tired,” she sighed. “Need to lay down.”

“And call off Tamara.”

“Did that when I found out she was stuck in traffic. Better she isn’t around for the Marcus bits anyway.”

Bucky swept her up into his arms and took the stairs three at a time as he returned her to her bed. “Rest, Pen.”

“Mm,” she hummed, eyes already closed.

He covered her in her red blanket, pressed a kiss to her forehead, and quietly left the room. He and Friday had work to do. “You let me know if there’s any change in her heart, Friday.”

“Yes, Sergeant. And Sergeant?”

“Yeah, Friday?”

“I am… happy she told you the truth.”

“Now all we have to do is figure out a way to fix her.”

“I have accelerated my work with the artificial heart. Already I have had an increase of ten percent in my success rate when paired with Penny.”

“What’s your success rate at in total, Friday?” he asked, a smidge of hope filling him.

“... ten percent,” Friday whispered. “It is not as easy as it looks.”

“Considering it doesn’t look easy at all...” Bucky sighed, returning to Penny’s office. “Keep working at it. We’ve got to do something. Penny dying isn’t an option.”

“I agree. Sergeant?”

“What, Friday?” He pulled up the images of her original assailants. Something about their use compared to the two hitmen of today seemed… off to him.

“May I have a sample of your blood?”

Bucky froze, then slowly sat back to look at the wall. “Why?”

“I have a hypothesis.”

“Which is?”

“A hypothesis is-”

“I know what hypothesis means, Friday! What is it? Why do you want my blood?”

“I’d… prefer not to say. In case I am wrong.”

Bucky pulled a knife from his sleeve. “How much and where?”

***

Penny dreamed. She dreamed of a soft bed and a hard body beneath her hands. Of warm muscles and quiet moans.

She dreamed of Bucky's hands on her skin, calluses and metal. His lips were soft when she kissed him. They felt even softer moving down her throat and over her chest to pull at her nipple.

A moan escaped her lips. “James…” she sighed.

“Penny,” he whispered, his hands touching her everywhere.  Then his grip tightened, turned bruising.

"You sure grew up pretty,” hissed maliciously against her skin before sharp pain flooded her belly. When he lifted his head, he wasn't Bucky anymore.

Penny screamed herself awake.

“Pen!” Bucky rushed to her side, and she recoiled. “Easy, easy, Penny. It's just me. You're okay.”

He knelt at her bedside while Penny tried to catch her breath. “It wasn't you,” she whispered and threw her arms around him. “It wasn't you.”

“What wasn’t me, baby doll?” he asked, rubbing soothing circles on her back.

“The one who hurt me. I was dreaming of you, and then you were him…”

“Penny.”

“I want to not be afraid anymore. Just for one damn moment, can I not be afraid?” she sobbed.

“It's gonna work out, Pen. You'll see.”

“Will I?” she whispered. “I have six months to save my life. Six. I've spent so much time working to save everyone else; I haven't done any living.” She pushed away and wiped her eyes. “I wanted to travel. See the world. Visit Tokyo, Paris, London. Instead, I've worked myself into an early grave.”

“No!” Bucky took her by the shoulders. “Don't you dare give up!”

“I'm not! But what am I doing it for? What did I do all this,” she thrust a hand out, “for if I'm not enjoying it! No life. No relationships. I may as well be a damn computer for all the good it's doing me!”

“Then change it! Figure it out and change it! Fix your heart and take a fucking vacation! Hell, I'll take you to Paris if that's what you want, but you're not allowed to quit on me, Penny!”

A smirk twitched her lips. “You're gonna take me to Paris, Barnes?”

“Damn right.”

She arched a skeptical brow. “And what would you know of Paris?”

He rocked back on his heels and dragged Penny around so he knelt between her spread knees with her feet dangling from the side of the bed. It made her heart kick in excitement and breath hitch with the same.

“I've been a lot of places, Pen. I know what colour paints the sky over the Eiffel Tower at dawn. I know the Arc looks like it's made of butter at dusk. Like you could reach out and touch it, and it would melt beneath your palm. I've seen the glass of the Louvre's pyramid sparkle after the rain, and ate pastries and drank coffee from cafés along the Rue de Seine.”

“Bucky.” His eyes were like sapphires, dark with want and memories.

“There's a hotel, out of the way and off the tourist track, with the best beds I've ever slept in, piled with blankets and pillows. The windows all have these fragrant flower boxes and Evangeline who runs it waters them each day. She makes breakfast from croissants and mandolins, fruit and cheese, and fresh squeezed orange juice. There are eggs and sausage, bacon and fruit tarts with fresh cream.” Bucky's arms wrapped around her hips and drew her closer, intimately so until her legs were spread wide around his torso, and his face level with her suddenly aching breasts.

She swallowed thickly. “Evangeline, huh?”

“She's seventy if she's a day, with wrinkles and laugh lines, and a head full of curly white hair. I adore her. Learned French just for her.”

“You speak French?” Penny was astounded.

“Oui, et si la dame veut se lever du lit, le dîner peut être servi.”

She blinked at him for a moment before smiling. “Calling me a lady and serving me dinner? Look at you go, turning on the charm. And here you are enticing me out of bed instead of into it. I'm impressed.”

Bucky's arms tightened around her hips. “Darlin’,” he purred. “I assure you, I want you in bed just as bad, but I'm not gonna seduce you after you wake up from that kind of nightmare, especially when you need to eat. Your body's gotta fight ahead of it.”

“You know, you're kinda sweet when you want to be, Barnes,” she smiled and slid her hand through his hair.

A devilish look came into his sapphire eyes. “Baby girl, I can be sweet, or I can be sinful. You fix your heart, and I'll show you just how sinful.” He turned his head and closed his mouth unerringly around her nipple through the fabric of her shirt and bra, granted neither was overly thick, and scraped his teeth over it, making Penny gasp in shocked pleasure. “Then I'll take you to Paris and introduce you to Evangeline.”

He pushed to his feet and drew her up with him, holding her so she was pressed full length to his body without any hope of wiggling away.  When his teeth scraped her ear, she shivered, and a drum beat thudded in her womb.

“And then I'll show you just how soft and sexy the beds can be.” Bucky released her with a wink and sauntered out of the room. “Dinner will be ready in five minutes.”

Penny sat with a thump and pressed her hand to her chest. Her heart raced, but it didn't feel laboured, only excited. He'd seduced her with words and barely a touch, given her an incentive to work toward, but Penny had never been a patient woman when it came to getting what she wanted.

And right now what she wanted most was more of the man whistling as he walked away. The reason she’d been hesitant in agreeing to anything this morning was because she didn’t want to hurt him when he found out the truth. But now he knew. He knew, and he still wanted her. He would be with her till the end, and clearly, he was offering her an incentive to work faster.

But what if she didn’t want to wait that long? What if she still ran out of time? What if this was her last chance to grab for a slice of happiness?

Penny let the sweater fall to the bed behind her. “Two can play that game, Barnes.”

Next Chapter

[stephen-776]

FEH, Stats, History, and Shtuff

As this blog is going to be producing a lot of original content based around FEH (I usually just lurk lol), I think it’s a good idea to give you an idea of my FEH background and how I approach the game.

When Did You Start Playing FEH? Late June 2018. Technically, I started in April 2018, but only long enough to reroll before dropping the game soon after. Summer Innes got me back into the game because I’m weak to manpretty.

Are You F2P? Generally, yes. There is one time in FEH where I spent more money than I wish to admit (and didn’t even get the unit I wanted) and occurred late August. That episode, by the way, is what led me to focus on a small set of units rather than try to roll for everything shiny. At the moment, I’m sitting on 487 orbs and counting.

What Set of Units Do You Focus on? Jugdral units! Fire Emblem: Genealogy of the Holy War is my favorite Fire Emblem game, so rather than chase after every shiny new unit, I decided to focus on summoning only units to complete my Jugdral dex. A common theme is “nobody gets to use my resources except my Jugdral units.”

What’s the difference Between Jugdral units and Genealogy of the Holy War units? Five characters: Olwen, Reinhardt, their alts, and Saias. WT!Olwen and Saias fulfill very important niches in my army, e.g. WT!Olwen is my only green horse. I haven’t actually played Thracia 776; its alleged difficultly terrifies me and there’s no proper fan translation I’m aware of.

Do you have all FE4/5 Units? No, but almost, because Ayra hasn’t been on a banner since I started playing the game. I have gotten every other unit besides her, 5* them, and still in the processing of merging all my copies together.

Wait, so you use Jugdral units exclusively? Almost, but it depends on the mode. Modes that are competitive (i.e. arena and aether raids) or require many units (e.g. arena assault) see non-Jugdral units deployed. But content like chain challenges or hero battles? Jugdral only.

What Tier Are In Arena? Tier 18.5. High tier arena requires a large dedication of resources: you need highly merged units with high BST or “duel” skill who can help spoonfeed kills to your unit. The highest tier has one more orb than I usually get and a lot more feathers, so it simply isn’t worth the investment for me.

What Tier are you Aether Raids? Lift Tier is 21+, and I got there with only one Eir! I think that’s an accomplishment. I put a fair amount of effort into AR, such as learning various AI tricks, because seven Jugdral units (that’s more than a quarter of all Jugdral units) are grail only and I need grails. Arvis is my first +10 grail project ofc.

Do You Plan on Sharing Tips for AR? I plan to make a some blogposts of various tips/tricks in AR on both defense and offense. I don’t claim to the best AR player, and most of these tips/tricks I’ve learned elsewhere. I will also eventually showcase some of my AR offense teams (they are not consistent week-to-week because they need to be tailored with the bonus unit in mind). When I need to showcase an AR defense, I’ll use my old defense as an example; however, it has a clear weakness which is why it was retired.

Why is Fire Emblem 4 your favorite FE game? That’s a hard question to answer! FE4 is known for having big maps. Like really big maps. It creates a sense of scale where it feels like a war is developing in real-time, rather than seeing snapshots of individual battles. It’s not impossible during the course of a chapter to make connections. The story, also, is basically anime Game of Thrones—more so than a typical FE game. Plus, I really like some of the juxtaposition between characters and their children, such as how Eldigan/Ares explore the theme of honor and loyalty. There’s a lot more I can say, but I think it’s a great game.

Do you recommend FE4? That’s… a toughie. The game is honestly old and it shows, and while I do appreciate what the big chapters bring to the table, having three hour chapters is hard (unlike most FE games, you can save once every turn and even has a quasi-autosave option). The game is a hard sell to a more modern FE crowd, but I will say if you like Fire Emblem and want something that’s different, check out FE4.

Any more questions? The ‘ask a question’ tab is turned on for a reason! Feel free to ask me a question!  

[stateofirrelevancy]

Get To Know Me Tag

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people.

Holla @ ma girl @kerrity13​ thx for the tag babe

LAST:

1. Drink: some H and a double shot of O 2. Phone call: To my mom to ask where the olive oil is only to realize olive oil has too many calories and wasn’t worth it dsfjkds so then I tossed it back in the cabinet but it didn’t land upright woops 3. Text message: “she jus wants a friend” sent to my friend Orange who is watching Moana w me right now in response to “why is this fire lady so angry” 4. Song you listen to: Like I said I’m watching Moana so the I Am Moana song but if that doesn’t count then Vanity’s Fair - A Lot Like Birds 5. Time you cried: I actually have no idea?? Sometime in June prolly

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: twice????? bich i aint go on a date once 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Is this the section to make me feel bad bc I never leave my room 8. Been cheated on: refer to #6 9. Lost someone special: Idk I feel like yes like all my grandparents passed away and my uncle on my mom’s side and my aunt on my dad’s side and also v recently my uncle on my dad’s side but like they lived in Pakistan so I rarely saw them ya feel?? 10. Been depressed: I mean I’ve def been super sad but idk if I’d say ~depressed~ 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: refer to #7

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12-14: Orange, yellow, black, in that order.

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: Yes, one of whomstve being @oceansweather my go to drama buddy 16. Fallen out of love: fallen out of what now? u mean when I get over bands I used to like? Then yes Big Time motherfuckin Rush yall broke my tiny heart in two 17. Laughed until you cried:  Def who hasn’t 18. Found out someone was talking about you: I don’t think so?? Like I don’t doubt people do but I ain’t jumpin 2 kno about it 20. Found out who your friends are: I guess?? I mean I’ve basically had the same friends for 5 years lol 21.  Kissed someone on your Facebook list: On the cheeks ya

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: Ok considering I have eight (8) FB friends bc I made my fb to join my college’s group I know all of them considering I only added ppl super close to me lmao 23. Do you have any pets: When my brother lived here I had his cat Glimmer who is a stripper but he moved out and now I’m constantly :( 24. Do you want to change your name: Nah I like my name 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: On the exact day I had a big dinner at home w my family and the weekend after my friends came over! 26. What time do you wake up: If my mom wakes me up then 10 otherwise 11-12:30 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: prolly on tumblr tbfh 28. Name something you can’t wait for: Bojack Horseman season 4!! and new 5sos music ofc.  29. When was the last time you saw your mom? around 2 hrs ago when I went down to make popcorn lol 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: ??? be hot or not dumb either would b k00l 31. What are you listening to right now: I’m watching What The Health now cause Moana ended rksdjlkfsd 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: No?? The only Toms I know are british YouTubers bye 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: ummm myself 34. Most visited website: prolly youtube 35. Mole/s: One on my left pinky, one at the bottom of my left ring finger, one next to my left knee, one above my right eyebrow, one in the pit of my left elbow. 36. Mark/s: I have a huge birth mark on my stomach lmao fun fact it used to look like the US when I was younger 37. Childhood dream: yall I had my life planned THE FUCK out. When I was in fifth grade I decided I would b a pop star like Hannah Montana until I was ~30, and then when my world fame inevitably dissipated, I’d become a doctor like the good little brown girl I thot I was. 38. Hair color: black like my soul 39. Long or short hair: medium length lol 40. Do you have a crush on someone: Calum mf Hood ain’t got eyes for no one else 41. What do you like about yourself: what do I what now 42. Piercings: do my ears getting pierced when I was a baby count asdklfj 43. Blood type: I think B positive?? idk 44. Nicknames? Aky 45. Relationship status: me myself and i are together and in a loving poly relationship 46. Zodiac: Taurus 47. Pronouns: She/Her 48. Favorite TV Show: PARKS AND REC!!! I was jus telling my friend the other day that idt I’ll ever find a show I’ll love more than it. Words can’t describe how much I love P&R yall. 50. Right or left hand: Right but don’t b fooled my left is mf skilled 51. Surgery: nope 52. Hair dyed in different color: I wish!! 53. Sport: who? I don’t know her 55. Vacation: what does this mean like have I been on vacation before?? Then ya lol 56. Pair of trainers: CONVERSE BITCH aint no one else exist in the world but her

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: idk what this question means what is my fave food????????? then,, idfk lasagna 58. Drinking: capri sun could fuck me in the asshole any day 62. Want: ?? death 63. Get married: ya I’m mf down when will a boi wife me tf up 64. Career: idk I really wanna work in AI 65. Hugs or kisses: hugs wtf i aint kiss none but hugs are pure i will fight someone over this 66. Lips or eyes: idk eyes?? 67. Shorter or taller: I guess taller cause im smol 68. Older or younger: older give me a daddy 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: arms gotta b strong to choke me 2 death 71. Sensitive or loud: sensitive I need some1 2 feel emotions for me thx 72. Hook up or relationship: relationship 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: are u saying i have the choice of finally having a cringey fuckboi badboy tm that most every wattpad fic was about 5 yrs ago?? no thanks

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a Stranger: ,,,u kno the answer to that bye 75. Drank hard liquor: this is the section to make me feel bad abt myself reincarnated  76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: no n knock on wood I won’t 77. Turned someone down: ekjfnkdlsn one time a guy asked me to homecoming and I told him homecoming wasn’t my thing and then he saw me at homecoming ekdfjaderdfkalesdf 78. Sex on the first date: uhhh 222 early 4 me 79. Broken someone’s heart: who knows mayb i broke the homecoming guys heart the world may never know 80. Had your heart broken: anytime Calum refuses to acknowledge my existence 81. Been arrested: no but I’ll gladly b put in handcuffs :-) 82. Cried when someone died: ya when my grandma on my mom’s side died. Oh and also when Christina Grimmie died :( 83. Fallen for a friend: idt so

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84: Yourself: ha 85. Miracles: sort of? Like I don’t believe in the magic behind it or whatnot but like winning the lottery would be a miracle bc like it’ so rare ya feel me 86. Love at first sight: nope not one bit 87. Santa Claus: fun anecdote so I’m Muslim and I never understood how Santa knows which houses are for people who celebrate christmas vs those who don’t and so I somehow conjured up the theory that he knows bc he checks each house and if they decorated and have a tree up, they celebrate it. So I was telling my mom this and she’s a vvv blatant person so we was straight up like he doesn’t exist and I was like he does!! and she was like ok then put up decorations and see if he comes and I was like :-( 88. Kiss on the first date: personally too early for me

OTHER:

90. Current best friend name: Idek who would be considered my #1?? Also what happened to question 89 lol 91. Eye color: brown 92. Favorite movie: Camp Rock 2: The Final Jam

I tag @oceansweather @aneverendingreplay @5sowoc @lukescurlies @fuckmemgc @harrqstyles @punk-dinosaur @ovalt @tennisbowels @disasterologiess @hiighriselights and anyone else who wants to