#And now I'm too awake to sleep
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I misread my mentor's message and thought i had a meeting at 7.30 am but turns out the meeting is tomorrow 😔
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I'm so alive and back on my dorym bullshit after orym's sending and dorian feeling like he's missing something he ran away from.
#I'm too awake to sleep now#i will work on 3 hours of sleep let's goooo#critical role#cr spoilers#cr3#dorym
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There is no comic... yet. But perhaps one day there could be.
This took me an entire week to finish. 😵
#my art#animaniacs#anime-niacs comic#Yakko warner#Wakko Warner#Dot Warner#I was gonna add more but I'm tired of working on it plus the bg would have been too busy#I already don't really like the bg but eh#Dot is so fricken hard to draw for some reason#she alone took me several days#now it's 3:30am and I've been awake for 19 hours I need sleep#this is the most elaborate thing I've done in a while
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Stardust (dream x dust) is too good of a ship to be a rarepair *shaking my head profusely*
#Dream helps Dust with his hallucinations#Dust helps Dream with his ocd obsessions#(OCD Dream is canon and true and none can tell me otherwise btw)#They can be non-binary and depressed together#They can be together when their fucked up sleep schedules keeps them awake#...they can smoke together 👉👈#Dream probably sees Nightmare a lot in Dust; in the sense that he understands that Dust was pushed to make a wrong desition#while knowing it was wrong; and that he was a victim of circumstance too#There'd be comprehension in that#And Dust would probably read Dream Just A Bit Too Well when it comes to neglecting their needs#Ough...#dream x dust#dust x dream#stardust ship#utmv#Posting this now cause ppl are sleeping and I can scream into the void yolo#Anyways I'm a sucker for most sanscest ships imma be real#You could give me the most random pair and I'd EAT IT UP.
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I've been awake for 27 hours now 💀
#my brain has been bouncing around unencumbered since i got off work last night#i can't shut it off#i feel so wide awake and like?? hype???#for no apparent reason????#haven't had any caffeine since 3pm yesterday (24 hours ago)#so uh???? hello?????? why?????#i feel pretty upbeat and positive too?????#i even vacuumed my entire apartment an hour ago????#idk but my sleep schedule has been preposterous recently so i'm gonna take this opportunity to try to reset it#gotta stay awake til bedtime now 🫡#my post#softgothbabe#personal#thoughts
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Literally just woke up to my cuboard having collapsed over my head. Didn't even wake up due to the impact, I think. Just to my sister coming into my room with both the cuboard and books, boxes and stuff on the floor and were my head was resting because she heard the crash a room over.
I have a bit of a headache right now, but otherwise I think I'm fine. Tho I don't know what's funnier: us having gotten someone to fix that thing literally less than a week ago and it already collapsing or the fact that said collapse couldn't even wake me up despite very likely having hit me and trashed my tiny room. Hurray to being alive, but what the fuck.
#momento rambles#this is something i've always been worried about happening after it got reattached to the wall again#i would choose to sleep with my head on the opposite side like i should if it didn’t decrease my chance of hearing my alarm in the morning#then again considering this shit didn’t manage to wake me properly i might just be cooked on that front all together huh#it didn't bash my skull in during my sleep like i was paranoid about so the winner is me but still ouch. that alarm might not be worth it#now that i think about it i kinda remember feeling like something had attacked me and a semi distant sounding crashing noise near me#but wasn't awake enough to tell if it was real or not. now that i'm unfortunately awake i can see it wasn't just my imagination#i was too deep in the soushin trenches tonight apparently cuz is that normal to just unconsciously shrug off 💀#anyway i need to bring my brothers to school so i'm going back to sleep and hope my phone alarm will have a better shot at waking me XD#don't mind me just writin down how 2024 tried to assassinate me before i can cross the finish line that is 2025 at like 1AM before i forget
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Hello darkness my old friend (literally)
#power just went out like 30 minutes ago#hurricane milton#I'm too anxious to go to sleep#I should've gone to bed earlier so I could've slept through this#but instead I'm a dumbass awake at 1 am in a hurricane#it's pitch black in here. the only light is coming from my phone.#I don't think the hurricane is strong enough to like. destroy the house. but. um. very scared.#my first hurricane lol#I lived in the Rockies for most of my life far from any beaches#but of course my family has to move to Florida 😒#I'm gonna try to get some sleep now. I'll try to update you all in the morning#hopefully everything will be fine#I think my anxiety is just. not helping. at all.#anyway. good night everyone. stay safe. if you don't see me post in the next 24 hours. well. um. never mind. I'll be fine.
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Oh fuck me fuckme fuck me
#I'm going to start killing people#I need SLEEPY TYLENOL NOWWWWWWW#Mfer laying in bed for 8 hours full awake 🫠 eyes shut. Brain. ACTIVE#IM TRYING SO HARD TO SLEEP JUST BE UNCONSCIOUS#Too late now#Fuck me I have to be aware enough to not kill everybody in this vehicle#Mfing murder nightmare too what the fuck#Set the scene: YouTuber wedding#The man in charge of filming is an asshole to the minimum wage people working there#Like real mean. And one meek guy tries to tell the groom but the groom is kinda a dismissive asshole about it bc he's already paid the guy#So it's too late now. Meek guy keeps getting disrespected and storms out to the parking lot to just leave#Woman who has been witnessing this apparently is gonna kill on meek guys behalf. He does not want this#Woman gets into a fucked up death machine car and drives it into the groom#But not like. Runs him over. There's a fucking saw blade on the front that starts cutting through the bottom of his torso#He was screaming a lot. I'm not sure if he survived or not. But the atmosphere was not fun#Very muddy desaturated colors. Very wet and musty feeling. It was like almost a parking garage#I don't think I'll ever have a dream as scary as the um time-looping cannibal beach dream#But this was just the delightful cherry of not being able to sleep at fucking. ALL .#Literally cried I'm so distressed about not being able to control anything about myself rn#Hhhhh :(((#3rd night in a row I've slept like shit
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This is healthy I think
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#I take a lot of naps#Not on purpose I actually really hate napping#But I'm bed ridden so like#It's very hard to stay awake all day#I thought if I just closed my eyes but I stayed upright I wouldn't sleep#I was wrong#Moldy-flowers#I actually sleep on a mattress on the floor because my bed took to much effort to climb into#Had to get rid of it#Yayyy we love being crippled with no discernable reason no medication and no diagnosis#My highest screen time record was about 19hrs per day#This week it was 16hrs 45min#Peak health#I'm gonna spend 2 hours going downstairs for some ice-cream now#(Not an over exaggeration)#Mm maybe if I can make it I can finally go play mouthwashing#I I got it a few months ago but haven't been able to get up to play it#I got Kinito pet and stardew Valley too!!#Sebastian my emo husband 💞
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there's been too much going on every day for the last several days, waiting for a few days where i canSTOP and BREATHE and have THOUGHTS about ANYTHING and feel NORMAL
#me#after today i want to take some days#of just doing nothing#hopefully i can#yes it's good for me to have stuff to do but i'm still#not used to it enough#and i don't need to be pushed backwards again from being overwhelmed#i woke up just before 4am#because i have to leave by 7am#because i needed time to just#exist awake#without having to rush to get ready to leave when i just woke up#i hate#i hate having to rush out when i was just in bed like5 minutes ago#i would rather wake up sooo early#just to not feel rushed#but now i'm TIRED i want nothing more than to go back to sleep#in summer last year i was waking up at around 4am almost every morning anyway just because i felt like it and it was great#but for winter it feels TOO early#it takes SO long for the sun to come up#HELP I'M TIRED#AND IT'S SO COLD OUTSIDE STOP IT
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If you've never heard an LRAD go off in person, I *genuinely* do not want to hear your opinion about methods of resistance in the US.
#i'm so fucking sick#wifey and i are pretty sure we got COVID so we've been isolating and trying to stay well#this is now at least my 2nd infection though#and you can tell too#wifey has been having trouble keeping me fed and hydrated and CONSCIOUS because I'm so tired I can barely function#this is despite sleeping for 12 hrs a day the past two days#and being fully medicated (or as fully medicated as I can be)#and on top of that my hypotension has been acting up severely since getting sick and I can barely walk 10ft b4 losing consciousness#i've haven't started throwing up my food and water yet but I've come pretty close especially early in the morning#anyway the point is that I am like. visibly being hit with an autoimmune aggravator not just a normal cold#and unfortunately#I'm taking it harder this time than the last#wifey is doing okay and mostly experienced it as a headcold with severe fatigue#she's pretty much better now a week or so out from starting to show symptoms#we....don't like when she gets hit that hard tho because it usually means I'm about to get bodied#pattern is holding so far regrettably lmao#anyway#my point is that I'm sick and angry and grieving and I really want to hit something or set it on fire#but i can't because i can barely move or even stay awake#and this is literally all my personal hell#as a result i am finding that I have a uhhhhhhhhhh unreasonably low threshhold for irritation recently
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I had a dream where a 3rd J.udgment game was announced and M.ine showed up for one split second in the reveal trailer with this super hot evil smirk on his face and Twitter was going batshit crazy over it
Then I woke up and got really disappointed
#ash rambles 💚#you were beautiful 💸#it's like also 6:30am rn#i jolted awake and ran to check twitter just in case something important happened in the y.akuza fandom#but nope. it didnt. at all. now I'm disappointed. and sleepy...#goodnight!!!!#hmm what else is going on in my life..? uhhh. I've got a massive final paper due tomorrow! i should... probably start that haha#I've got this other group project that i don't feel motivated to work on anymore because my group member (absolutely unsolicited)#popped into my DMs and was like 'hey here are some suggestions for your paper' and the comments were just mean as fuck#like what the fuck man. what the actual fuck?? this group member is also like two decades older than me-#but thats alright I'll do it eventually (also because I'm graded on how my group members review me and... if this little bitch gives me a#bad review and fucks up my chances at getting a 4.0 in every class this quarter...........)#hmmmm what else#I've been playing y.akuza 5! i just got to the hunting part. I'm bored. when does this shit get good?#oh and i've been rewatching f.airy t.ail when i have the time#and m.onster too because.. um.... dr. t.enma 👉🏽👈🏽#oh nooo (fake cough) I'm sickkk i need a doctor hahaha preferably a really hot one with a super nice voice and beautiful smile and-#and that's about it for my life updates ajdjshdjaj at least all that I'm comfortable sharing here#I'm still mad about my dream though#like. I'd be fine even if m.ine didnt show up again. maybe he survived and him and ash just decided to disappear off the grid together#but. I WANT THAT THIRD J.UDGMENT GAME#PLEAAASEEE#OH OH!!! ONE MORE UPDATE!!!!#i made a bad financial decision on black friday and now.. once my package arrives... I'LL HAVE EVERY MAINLINE Y.AKUZA GAME IN MY GRASP!!!#I AM SO POWERFULLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#I also bought s.oul hackers 2 bcs it looked interesting. anyone here like it?#hmmm I'm going back to sleep#gn#honk shoo mi mi mi mi
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*Decides to take up school at night to catch up since I'm homeschooled*
*Reaches a lesson explaining sleep*
*Gets curious and looks up which type I am between a long sleeper and short sleeper*
*Discovers I'm a part of 10% of the population and have the "Dolphin Chronotype"*
... Okay, that explains a lot.
#please just... look up what it is. I'm too tired to explain...#... No? Okay fine I will#The Dolphin chronotype basically means I'm more half awake like a dolphin while my other half sleeps#It also means my sleep schedule will always be a wreck and my conditions need to be in a goldilocks zone for me to fall asleep normally#its weird. Why am I so weird???#Why am I so rare actually? It's freaky. I'm like in the below 10% for a ton of things now that I'm realizing it#And yet I look like the most average human being ever#geez-#text post#random
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My Jance fic is slightly 👌🏻 getting out of hand, like
Random Jance enjoyer: How much do you want Jan to suffer in the first chapter?
Me: yes
As I said to my lovely @anxious-witch
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#inspiration strikes at the worse hours#yeah it's 6 am and i'm still awake because i just stopped writing#good morning rio don't worry now I'm going to sleep#i eat angst at breakfast with my cereals#poor jan tho#jance#joker out#<- yeah putting it in the main tag too i'm bold#i'm not surviving while i'm writing it- people won't survive reading it#jan peteh#nace jordan
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i made my idv news sideblog victor-themed bc i thought it'd be cute and silly, oh haha look it's victor delivering the mail
but then one of my mutuals referred to me as victor when talking about the sideblog and made me realise i might(?????) kin him. gonna need 3 - 5 business days to figure this out please hold
#BC LIKE#idk i don't know him super well as a character#but a lot of stuff i do know i'm like. seeing in a different light of “oh shit me too”#i need to look more into him as a character before adding him to the kinlist but. yeah#rambling#silly circle#i wanna go back to bed but alas i have already filled my sleep quota (ten hours)#so my body has decided i must Awake now
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suicide mention tw //
the way i was sobbing earlier bc we buried my younger cousin today who died by suicide and i was like okay i cant breathe i need to distract myself so i went to watch my silly lil show haha cute isekai kbl played eps 5-7 everything is great i'm emotional but it's all good and then. episode 8. literally had to put my phone down i was like u have to be fucking kidding me. maybe everybody saw that coming but i didn't and i was not prepared and my chest hurts
#am i a joke?? WHAT ARE THE ODDS. WHAT#that the show i turn to for a distraction from suicide is PLOT TWIST about suicide.#anyway. idk what to now bc i cant sleep but if i stay awake i keep crying#suicide tw#suicide mention#it was suuuuch a fucking good show unfortunately this was the wrong time for me to see that bit bc i'm sick to my stomach#it just hit too close to home#that's my oversharing for tonight <3
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