#And me personally I’ve been reading shit outside the internet and ig my question was too specific but I am learning a lot on the topic

[starlooove]

Ew is that how I came off with that whole thing

[tarantulas4davey]

HELLO BESTIE I am currently having Ralbert Brainrot and you're the best person go come to for this, obviously,, so PLEASE share! I would like to hear about ufc albert or youtuber race, or dancing partners!! I love them smm

HI YES HELLO USING THIS AS AN EXCUSE TO WRITE UFC FIGHTER AL PART 2 THANKS BABES

i just witnessed a literal crime and i’m Feeling The Rage (boxing judges at mma events can catch these hands) so here is. my brain on anger.

also the first half of this is pretty fight-talk heavy but the second half is more al/ralbert central so message me/send me an ask if i don’t explain something well enough <3

here is the ask i sent to @we-are-inevitable (thanks jac i’m in love with you mwah) and here is part 1 for this au if you haven’t read that one yet !!

also,,,,, this is fairly obvious. but trigger warning for violence/physical fighting, as well as blood. (it’s a rough gig y’all fjdhdb) oh and swearing but that’s pretty much just me LMAO

here i am, bein mad and writing ralbert. therapy time with chandler ig

OK SO

this is after his debut. duh. continuation

i think he’s probably 5 fights in with 5 wins. he’s been running people through, especially with four full camps after a short notice start, and he’s never even seen a decision in the ufc

let’s just say the hype train is moving FAST and it’s moving LOUD

everyone has to have those people that watch their fights just to see them lose, on top of the majority male fan base that have to have a little bit of toxic masculinity and homophobia in there

so there’s A LOT of people that are waiting for him and his hype train to get derailed. but there’s also a fair amount of fans, so you win some you lose some (the way i would die to see this be a real fighter pls)

now albert’s not always the most confident guy, and he’s never been cocky, but none of this shit gets to him. he’s got his coaches, he’s got his friends and he’s got race behind him. he knows he’s got the skills, and he’s got his support system, so who gives a shit what a bunch of cowards on the internet have to say?

and then they put him against someone known for his grappling and stamina. and the “it’s a wrap for dasilva!” bandwagon starts. it happens every time a rising striker and early knockout artist fights a well known grappler with any semblance of later round power (even if al has a background in wrestling and has gone 5 rounds and won outside of the ufc. it’s a bandwagon for a reason)

and it’s not Upsetting, it’s not really getting into his head in any way that’ll make him do worse, but it’s kinda pissing him off. which is bad for his opponent

the last person on earth you want to be fighting is an annoyed albert dasilva who thinks he has something to prove

he works his ass off in camp, and the press tour is a self-assured albert vs. a loudmouth who thinks he’s hot shit cause a few people on twitter think he’ll sweep

and, to be completely honest? it’s starting to look that way 2 rounds in.

it’s a 5 round fight, co-main event on a big card, and so far all al’s opponent has done is pinned him to the cage and kept him there. a few strikes worth anything - at least enough make al’s cheek bleed, no takedowns, which would at least give him some activity, and so submission attempts, so he can’t even gain any ground that way. he’s just- Stuck. and if THIS is how he loses, he’s gonna be pissed

the bell for the second round sounds, and you can actually see al’s chest heaving on camera as he walks to his corner - not because he’s tired or out of breath, but because he’s MAD, and fuck if he’s not going to do something about it

not only that, but he can not only see race and jack standing up by the cage - plus race’s expression, which is slightly annoyed and super anxious, which hurts his chest to think about - but he can hear them too

jack is yelling profanities, as per usual. he doesn’t that regardless of how the fight is going, but it’s less encouraging when you’re the one losing.

race though,,,, race isn’t really yelling, he’s more talking to himself than anything, but he’s close enough to cage and al knows him well enough to figure out what he’s saying. and if the muttered almost-prayers while he paces back and forth weren’t enough, the shiny gold engagement ring on race’s hand definitely is

round 3,,,, let’s just say it goes a little differently than the first 2 had gone.

he opens with a spinning back kick, of all fucking things, and that truly sets the pace

he’s the taller guy by a few inches, like usual, which makes his arms longer. the only reason crushing his against the cage worked is cause the guy he’s fighting cuts weight like a wrestler, so he’s easily got 20 pounds on albert come fight night

but once he finds his rhythm and starts throwing, he starts connecting too. he manages to stay out of range of his opponent and stay his comfortable distance to start t-ing off

this isn’t a one punch power ending. this isn’t a beautiful head kick, or a giant knee, or even just a clean right hook.

this is albert, who’s arms are starting to feel the 3rd round a little bit, hitting this guy with everything he has cause he refuses to lose this fight.

i mean- everyone watched him get up at the start of the round with a set jaw and a scary determined glint in his eye. he’s not a person you fuck with, and he’s definitely not a person you publicly ridicule before being locked in a cage to fight with

the guy he’s fighting is absolutely battered, but he manages to survive until round 4. the first of the championship rounds, something al’s never seen in a ufc fight before, and it feels like the arena is holding its breath

so when al comes out and does the same thing as round 3 to better results - fight ending results - everyone’s a little shocked, honestly

the commentary team’s in disbelief, cause albert is NOT a slow starter, regardless of what this fight would tell you, and the fact he managed a win at all, let alone such a phenomenal one, is fucking astounding

he gets his hand raised, obviously, but the really interesting part is the post fight interview

“albert, man, what changed between round 2 and 3? what second gear did you find?”

“bro, i just— it was pissing me off, honestly. i don’t come in here to get pinned down for 25 minutes. and, y’know, my team gave me good advice. i had all the pieces, straight from the jump, someone just had to force me to put them in place…”

and then he looks over at race, who gives al one of those half grin, half smirks and winks at him, and al just chuckles to himself and finishes answering the question

“the thing that really forced my hand is race. i won’t get cheesy on you, but watching someone who loves and supports you through everything panic cause he’s scared for you - it’s a big motivator. everyone would figure out a lot more of my motivations if they went and watched race’s expressions back instead of whatever the hell i’m doing in here. he’s always been the brains, i’m just the brawn.”

and that’s a better answer than anyone was expecting, plus he’s just had the fight of a lifetime that’s probably earned him a title shot, so he’s done soon after that and gets to have his little in-cage celebration

he hugs his team and jack, who razzes him a little bit as per usual, and makes some dumb quip about going over tapes later like he’s a coach. and then comes race

he hugs him, all tender and cute and also very sweaty cause That’s How It Works, and the camera’s focused on him, so they can tell they’re whispering back and forth. but there’s no mics on them, so what’s said is missed entirely on the audience, but it’s their usual cheesy, in love mess

“congrats, baby. i’m proud of you.”

“oh please. it was 90% you anyway. i meant what i said, it wasn’t just for the cameras.”

“i know that. i’m gonna have to get you back somehow for telling everyone to go back and watch my awful anxious expression. i’ll think of something.”

“i’m sure you will, sweetheart.”

and then al does that awful, adorable lil nose bump thing, and then kisses race. and then jack covers his eyes and whines until they stop like the actual 12 year old boy he is inside

and then they leave the octagon, race and al holding hands, and al throws his arm over jack’s shoulder and shoves his head down and pushes him, cause even though he was just in a literal cage match he’s still a roughhousing teenager at heart

and he’s got interviews and press shit that separates him from his people, and he’s gotta slide that bulletproof mask back down over all the happy and in love shit he’s feeling so he can not smile like an idiot on camera constantly

but every once in awhile he’ll catch jack giving him the finger and laugh before returning it below view of the camera

or he’ll catch race’s eye from where he’s standing behind all the studio lights and do a little wave under the camera and return the wink from earlier, and the unbothered fighter facade will crack a little bit

but he’s not completely convinced that’s such a bad thing

GOD THIS POST IS SO MUCH LONGER THEN I MEANT IT TO BE IM SORRY

but Yeah. Them.

i love this au a helleva lot more than i should but that’s Fine cause i’ve got thoughts for days on it

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #443

“it’s not a life sentence, but a death dream for you”

When was the last time you were in the hospital? Me personally, uhhh sometime in 2017? Why were you there? I had a cyst removal surgery. Do you like Cheez-Its or Cheese Nips better? Cheez-Its. Have you worn headphones at all today? Yeah, I pretty much always do because YouTube is always open and on a video. When was the last time you had blood drawn? A few months ago or something? I'll be getting some drawn shortly though for genetic testing; due to my mom having some dysfunctional cancer prevention gene, all her children are getting tests to see if we inherited it. The last time you got blood drawn, what was the reason? I want to say I was tested for anemia most recently. What color eyes does/did your father have? Brown. What do you daydream most about? Things I wish I didn't daydream about. What is your relation to the last child you spoke to? They're my niece and nephew. Do you believe the Holocaust happened? No fucking shit? Do you prefer zebra stripes, tiger stripes, or leopard spots? Tiger stripes, ig. When did you last see a dog? At my nephew's b-day party a couple weeks ago. Nicole brought her dog Zeke over. Have you ever been in the mountains when the moon and stars were up? No, but omg I wish!!!!!!!!!! Do you know anyone from Canada? Yep. Has a cat ever licked you? Yeah. Roman especially loves to give kisses. Where would you most like to go in your state, etc. that you haven’t been? The Wizard of Oz park, probs. Are you scared to look at your own organs on x-ray or ultrasound? No, that shit's rad. o: Have you ever walked on a frozen lake/river? No, that sketches me out. I'd be afraid of the ice breaking and me falling in. Have you ever seen a volcano? No. Have you ever met an Alaskan? Met in-person, no. But I do have an online friend who's from Alaska. Or may still live there? Idk. Have you ever mowed the lawn (even a little bit)? No. Have any unpleasant public transit stories to tell? Nah. Do you know any German words? Seeing as I took four semesters of the language in high school, I know a good deal. However, my skill has definitely atrophied with time and lack of application. Do you have a passport? No. Are your teeth straight? I mean, mostly. I had braces for too long, but I didn't wear my retainer, so they've moved back some. Would you mind dating someone significantly shorter than you? Yeah, sure. I've never understood why height is an issue for some people. Can you quote the movie Mean Girls? No. I personally never got the craze. Have you ever swam in the Atlantic Ocean? I have. The Pacific? No. Can you make yourself cry? No. Have you ever held a starfish? Not a live one. What would you do if you found out your ex was pregnant/fathered a child? Faint or vomit. Wail. All three. Are you very close to your siblings? No. :/ Can you do CPR? No. Favorite sport to watch in the summer Olympics? I don't care. Ever flushed a fish? Yes. Ever been paid for sex or a sexual favor? No. I wouldn't agree to that. Last friend you talked to online? Sara. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity? No. What is the best ice cream flavor? Vanilla. You have so many topping options. What’s your favorite thing to do outside? Photograph nature, especially wild animals. What would you spend $1,000 on? A big, really pro tattoo. What was the best (non-romantic) night you’ve had? Hm. I don't know. Who did you last lay in a bed/couch/recliner with? Mom and I sat together on the couch some time ago. Do you keep a planner? No. What are you craving right now? I've got a seriously random craving for shell pasta with a nice, meaty tomato sauce. Do you want kids anytime soon? DEFINITELY not soon, but also never. Has anyone ever drunk called/texted you? No. Have you ever slept in the same bed with the last person you kissed? Yeah. What’s the best feeling in the world? Knowing you're in love and really feeling it. What’s something you really want right now, be honest. There's a lot of things. Who in your family do you act like the most? I don't know, really. Who has made the biggest sacrifice for you? My mom, 100%. Do you believe that your first true love can be your only love in life? Of course not. Have you ever kissed under water? Yes. Is there that one guy that you’ll always have feelings for no matter what? Suuuure is. Wish it wasn't like that, but I don't see it ever changing, to be real... Are you 100% over the last person you kissed? 100%? No, I can't say I am entirely. Have your parents ever caught you kissing a guy? "Caught me?" How old is this question meant for? Yes, they've seen me kiss a guy before. If you mean like, seriously kiss-kissing, no. Which one of your exes hates you the most? Probably Jason. Are you named after anyone? No. Well, my middle name has been passed down, but "Brittany" wasn't from anybody else in specific. What reminds you the most of your last relationship? The song "The Only Exception" by Paramore. Have you ever rejected someone but they still wouldn’t give up on you? In elementary school, yes. When growing up, did your family always eat at the dinner table together? Usually, yes, at least when growing up. Sometimes we'd use little tables to eat in the living room though while watching TV. What is the greatest source of happiness in your life? My mom, best friend, and pets. What was the last charity/cause you donated to? I'm unsure, actually. Who was the last person you got a handwritten letter from? Sara! :') Did your parents read bedtime stories to you when you were little? Mom did. Have any of your worst fears ever come true? Yes. The greatest fear I've ever had was losing Jason, and that happened. Is anyone in your family divorced? My parents, for one. My older half-sister has also be divorced because her ex is an absolute piece of manipulative horse shit. Has anyone in your family gotten pregnant as a teenager? I think my mom? No, maybe not... Idk. I ain't doing the math. What’s your greatest talent? If you want a serious answer and not something self-depracating, I suppose writing. Would you ever want to get a master’s degree? It'd be cool, but I've never *actually* wanted to pursue that. Have you ever worn revealing clothing in order to get attention? No. Have you ever been falsely accused of being racist? I've never been accused of being racist, because I'm not. To you, is sex just about physical pleasure, or do you see it as an expression of love and commitment? Absolutely the latter. I could never engage in sex without deep emotional commitment. How many times have you been drunk in the past 6 months? Zero. What’s your favorite French food? I have no idea. What’s the most elaborate recipe you know how to cook? Nothing. Which rooms of your house have doors that lead outside? The living room and kitchen. Best purchase you ever made? My snake. :') Is there anybody you think is hot over the age of 40? I haven't seen him a long time, but boy did I have a thing for James Hetfield in high school. There are defs others, but no one else immediately comes to mind. Have you ever been caught sneaking out? No, because I've never tried to. How many Facebooks have you had? Just the one I still use. Have you ever been punched in the face? No. When was the last time you talked to the first person you kissed? The beginning of February, 2017. What is the latest you have ever slept in? Past 5. Do you have to watch yourself in the mirror while you brush your teeth? No. Do you text when you drive? Fuck no. You couldn't pay me to. What movie do you really want to see that’s out? I don't even know what movies are out right now. Did America really put a man on the moon? Eventually, yes. Call me crazy, but I do believe the supposed first one was faked, though, to "beat" Russia in the space race. Do some research and it's pretty shocking. Would you like to date someone a lot purer than you? Idc. Do you turn your phone off at night when you go to sleep? No, but I turn the brightness down for if I wake up in the middle of the night and want to check the time. Have you slept in a bed with the last person you kissed? Yeah. Has anyone ever told you that they loved you, and you didn’t say it back? Yes. Has anyone ever played a prank on you? What happened? I don't believe so. Do you like tattoos and piercings? Helllll yes. :') What are you really into? Animals, art, some weird Korean guy on the Internet... Do your parents like your best friends? Yes. Have you ever taken a nap with a member of the opposite sex? Yeah. Do you have weak upper body strength? Yes. What color was the last cup you drank from? It's just clear glass. How old is your oldest sibling? I actually don't know her exact age. 30-something. What was the last thing you ate that had nuts in it? A Nature Valley cashew bar I had earlier today. How many pieces did the last puzzle you completed have? I have no idea. Who did you last shake hands with? uhhhhhhhh Has anybody asked you out on a date recently? Nah. When was the last time somebody asked you to be their girlfriend? When Girt asked me out a few years ago. Name something you’re picky about: Food. Who did you last ask for help? My mom. Do you like corn? Yeah. If you were offered to smoke some weed right now, would you accept? Right now I honestly probably would, believe it or not. Honestly, who is the last person to tell you that they love you? My mum. Have you ever made out for more than a half hour straight? Yeah. How do you earn money? The only occasions where I ever and very rarely earn money is if someone (non-family, of course) pays me to take pictures for them. Where were you raised? All you need to know is a crappy town in eastern NC. Are your ears gauged? No, but I want the first holes in my earlobes to be, but only with very small gauges. I just can't figure out how to do it myself, at least with the gauges I have. I think I'm missing something. Explain what triggered your last kiss? We were saying goodbye. Could you go a month without talking to your best friend? I mean I could, but it'd seriously fucking suck. Have you ever made out in a park? No, because I don't do that in public. What are you listening to? "Paint You With My Love" by Marilyn Manson. I wasn't big on the album when it came out, but this is one of the songs that's aight to me. Last thing you said out loud? I gave Venus a little wave and said "hey babe" or something like that like I do sometimes when she's slithering around and looks out towards me. Are you sad? Always at least a little bit. I have been kinda down this evening. Where is your dad? I would hope at home. He's probably watching TV, or maybe in bed.

[1112lw]

Every question!!

SDFFSDFG DAM OK SIS

LONG POST AHEAD IF U LITERALLY WANNA KNOW ME PERSONALLY JUST READ THIS LMFAO

1: Name: Arche/Jupiter, my close friends know my real name so!

2: Age: High school has just been done so try to guess

3: Fears: Heights, oral presentations, the dark

4: 3 things I love: Drawing, men- concept art n stuff like that

5: 4 turns on: Oh here we go- uhh thighs, messy hair? when they give u The Look or when they. say things i will not talk about here HHGBDF n uhhh Arms 👀👀

6: 4 turns off: weird macho attitude, overly confident bullshit, being selfish and fuckboys in general

7: My best friend: not sure what this means but my bff is named Daphnée n i love her and ive known her my whole life so 

8: Sexual orientation: homosexuale

9: My best first date: :))))))) as if

10: How tall am I: sigh. I’m 5″4

11: What do I miss: sometimes i miss the feeling loved ig

12: What time were I born: 12:19

13: Favourite color: pink!

14: Do I have a crush

15: Favourite quote: My senior quote!! “if what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, I’m telling you I’m immortal”

16: Favourite place: well? my room ig? I like my yard too

17: Favourite food: ugh ramen,,,korean dishes are TASTE as fuck but i also like classic ass spaghetti so like lol

18: Do I use sarcasm: does it look like i dont

19: What am I listening to right now: dr.phil LMFAO

20: First thing I notice in new person: Hair and eyes!! also how they laugh

21: Shoe size: Like. a 7-8 in women’s 6 in men’s 

22: Eye color: Hazel/Golden yes bitch let me be special

23: Hair color: it’s either dark brown or golden brown idk

24: Favourite style of clothing: bruv its either kpoppie fuckboy or uwu skirts pastels

25: Ever done a prank call?: no i have anxiety

26: Meaning behind my URL:

27: Favourite movie: rise of the guardians and HTTYD

28: Favourite song: Comeback Home (BTS cover)

29: Favourite band: looks in the camera i dont know nan molla huh

30: How I feel right now: I’m fine im hungry

31: Someone I love: shoutout to my babeys in my server ily

32: My current relationship status: Single(tm)

33: My relationship with my parents: theyre fine ig just a bit tired

34: Favourite holiday:

35: Tattoos and piercing I have: Ear piercings? that’s it

36: Tattoos and piercings I want:

37: The reason I joined Tumblr:

38: Do I and my last ex hate each other? I sure hope not?

39: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? A bit ig?

40: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? Literally no

41: When did I last hold hands? Like last Friday

42: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? 20 minutes

43: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? no i havent shaved in like months

44: Where am I right now? in my room, in quebec, canada

45: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? bitch i sure hope my friends would

46: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? fuck my ears 

47: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? yeah

48: Am I excited for anything? yeah? yeah

49: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? ig? always

50: How often do I wear a fake smile? just at work tbh

51: When was the last time I hugged someone? not long ago i cant tell but my friends r cuddle monsters so 

52: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? i havent kissed anyone so 

53: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? lemme think uhhh no not rlly im not dumb 

54: What is something I disliked about today? i woke up n i thought i had school lol

55: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? oh john cock i want to be ur best friend

56: What do I think about most? i daydream 24/7

57: What’s my strangest talent? uhhh i can put my thumb behind my hand?

58: Do I have any strange phobias? trypophobia, if thats “weird”

59: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? depends on what the video is, mostly behind

60: What was the last lie I told? idk answering to my deadname

61: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? online

62: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? I slightly believe in ghosts? also aliens GOTTA exist so 

63: Do I believe in magic? i think!

64: Do I believe in luck? yeah

65: What’s the weather like right now? very pretty i filmed a video outside!!

66: What was the last book I’ve read? L’Étranger d’Albert Camus in french class

67: Do I like the smell of gasoline? yes my dad’s a mechanic

68: Do I have any nicknames? a lot a lot

69: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? bitch @ my birth #neverforget 

70: Do I spend money or save it? i have 40$ in my name right now

71: Can I touch my nose with a tounge? no

72: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? yes highlighter

73: Favourite animal? cats or otters

74: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? FBISDFD NO WE DONT TALK ABOUT IT

75: What do I think is Satan’s last name idk he can have any last name he wants!!!

76: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? everytime i start hearing “waiting for you anpanman” or “i just wanna go home” 👀👀

77: How can you win my heart? aaahh. be a twink. b fashionable. b funny. cheesy. pls romance me like a npc in the sims 2

78: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? s(he) died smh

79: What is my favorite word? cunt is SUCH a satisfying word

80: My top 5 blogs on tumblr? oh great uh honestly cant be fucked 

81: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? please have brain. PLEASE

82: Do I have any relatives in jail? i sure hope the fuck not?

83: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? either invisibility or mind reading

84: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? ahaaa “what are your intrusive thoughts”

85: What is my current desktop picture? my lesbian sims getting married LMFAO

86: Had sex? no

87: Bought condoms? no

88: Gotten pregnant? NO

89: Failed a class? i think yeah maths last year

90: Kissed a boy? :(((

91: Kissed a girl? no

92: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? no

93: Had job? I have a job rn so 

94: Left the house without my wallet? yeah when i go to school

95: Bullied someone on the internet? define bullying?

96: Had sex in public? virgin squad

97: Played on a sports team? yeah

98: Smoked weed? no ew

99: Did drugs? no ew

100: Smoked cigarettes? NO EW

101: Drank alcohol? yep 

102: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? no i’d die

103: Been overweight? i’m twig

104: Been underweight? i think i was underweight when i was young? i was very Small

105: Been to a wedding? yes very long boring

106: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? bruh. everyday

107: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? probably?

108: Been outside my home country? ONCE

109: Gotten my heart broken? TWICE !

110: Been to a professional sports game? yesss canadians game!!

111: Broken a bone? no

112: Cut myself? not technically 

113: Been to prom? SOON SOON SOON SOSOSNSBFSHDD

114: Been in airplane? once

115: Fly by helicopter? i am not rich bitch

116: What concerts have I been to? noneeee- WAIT NO MARIE MAI

117: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? not sex but for the purpose of pretending i have a penis yes plenty

118: Learned another language? yeah!! i learned english, i almost learned spanish and i’m trynna learn korean now

119: Wore make up? i try!! but i’m not super good

120: Lost my virginity before I was 18? not 18 yet but it’s goin that way

121: Had oral sex? as if 

122: Dyed my hair? i wishhh

123: Voted in a presidential election? I WISH THE ELECTIONS R ONE MONTH B4 MY BIRTHDAY 

124: Rode in an ambulance? nope

125: Had a surgery? yes at a week old 

126: Met someone famous? i think yes but i was super small

127: Stalked someone on a social network? define stalked?

128: Peed outside? yes

129: Been fishing? YES

130: Helped with charity? i think? we do volunteering so 

131: Been rejected by a crush? not directly

132: Broken a mirror? no 

133: What do I want for birthday? boyf......boy..boyff

134: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? oh man uhh maybe 2-3, i dont know their names yet honestly

135: Was I named after anyone? MY DAD NAMED ME AFTER A FUCKIN CLIENT HE MET. as for my actual name now I named myself after my fav video game character. lit

136: Do I like my handwriting? yeah!!

137: What was my favourite toy as a child? bitch hot wheels

138: Favourite Tv Show? hells kitchen,,,,judge judy,,,anythin like that

139: Where do I want to live when older? honestly i wish i could just live in japan or tokyo, or new york? but i will most likely end up in montreal 

140: Play any musical instrument? i used to play the clarinet last year!!

141: One of my scars, how did I get it? the one on my knee, i scratched my desk with my knee 

142: Favourite pizza toping? my dad makes AMAZING sea food pizzas,,,

143: Am I afraid of the dark? a lot

144: Am I afraid of heights? A LOT

145: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? idk prolly? im a bit of a goody two shoes or however u spell it

146: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end: dont we all

147: What I’m really bad at: organizing my anxiety n shit i get overwhelmed

148: What my greatest achievments are: finishing high school 

149: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me: honestly has to be that time someone dug up my vent post about being dysphoric to try to say i hated myself with some dumbass DySphorIa Is SelF HaTRed argument

150: What I’d do if I won in a lottery: pay my parents’ debt off, buy 284223$ of BT21 merch, pay my whole college/uni and transition

151: What do I like about myself: idk i like how i literally do not give a fuck anymore and ive learned to love myself instead of trynna care

152: My closest Tumblr friend: @peptobismol-official​ @ace-landofthesun​ @dorkalisious​ and ana but idk her @ anymore :((( ana pls

153: Something I fantasise about: we dont talk about that

154: Any thoughts on the paranormal?: lit. please stop crawling in my ceiling !

ok now that u know my whole biography. go doxx me ig. bye bye

[violetsystems]

#personal

Life is kind of entering the dark side of the moon hidden under the shadows of the holidays.  I’m taking my mom out for Xi’an food on Thanksgiving day.  We went for Cantonese food last year on Christmas.  She is definitely the more nontraditional side of the family.  My dad is chill too.  He’s relayed to me twice how he doesn’t pay attention to the news.  When his wife turns on the tv he plugs in his new airpods and listens to Shania Twain or something.  Navigating both relationships over the holidays allows me to take comfort in the uniqueness of my situation.  Nothing in my life is very simple and then I sort of take it all in stride.  Both my parents often remark about how proud they are I turned out.  I was always a very quiet and shy kid up until I had to stand up for myself.  Even then I don’t really ever want to be a bother.  But a certain amount of respect for myself has developed over time being left out, passed over and ignored.  So the deafening silence I have for the past is more about moving on out of the shadows and towards the light.  I’ve spent the last twenty years at this point working in a progressive arts environment.  I’ve hit plenty of guardrails trying to stay in my lane.  But I know where I belong regardless.  After awhile what used to frustrate me about self control actually fuels my path forward.  Somebody made a comment about how robotic I respond to everything at work.  It was a low key sleight and I took it that way but wasn’t totally untruthful.  I don’t react much in realms where I don’t control the narrative.  I quit Facebook and Twitter awhile ago.  I don’t feel as hardwired to share everything in my life.  I do take boring pictures on IG to prove I exist.  I was walking down the street the other day and somebody motioned to me and said loudly “So he is real.”  I don’t use tinder so I don’t know what it’s like to justify my existence every ten feet on my lunch break or commute by swiping right or left.  It isn’t like I don’t share my thoughts or bare my soul every Saturday morning on Tumblr.  People have grown to appreciate that this is how I engage with people who really want to know what I’m thinking.  Everybody in real life just talks at you.  A persistent water cooler conversation that goes nowhere.  People announce things in a circle about what they’d do if they had super powers or ran for office and it goes nowhere.  Roleplaying is fun I guess.  I play World of Warcraft.  I’m a Warlock named Overbite.  Over the summer some Christians called me a witch for walking past their protest at the abortion clinic.  It helps me to get into character when I play a paladin.  Really get into the mind of the self righteous you know.  Understand their power.  Freedom of speech in America for what it’s worth doesn’t really get in my way when I realize nobody is listening to anyone but themselves.  I talk a lot openly in my kitchen to myself and my cat about all this.  I played Magic the Gathering the last two years a lot to practice my public speaking.  At least when you announce the rules on a card people have to listen.  These days people are too busy to play so I’m left with these funny games in the street.  In America it’s becoming more like Outback steakhouse.  No rules and too many people leaning to the hard right.  The left hand path is kind of secluded.  Perfect for a moonlight stroll.  As dark as that might be at four pm in the dead of winter.

For what it’s worth I’ve been watching a lot of Watchmen and listening to Nine Inch Nails by myself.  I like to read and work on my finances in a cloud based spreadsheet.  Most of what I read is online.  When it’s not the news or the history of places I barely know it’s quest text or lore on a computer screen.  I’ve been a lot more at ease in some ways.  I’ve been mostly trying to figure out the feeding schedule for my new house guest.  I forget I’ve been feeding that cat twice a day for over a year outdoors.  Surprisingly or not so she is pretty much on the same exact schedule as I am.  The electric bill is sixty percent lower than it’s ever been.  I’m assuming part of that is a more energy efficient refrigerator.  My downstairs neighbors Christmas lights don’t even make a dent in the meter.  My life is kind of peaceful and boring at home.  When I step outside the threshold it can be a different story.  In terms of guardrails I’ve become at peace withjwhere I belong.  Staying out of trouble.  I’ve been swerving around the planet safely for years.  I’ve been transparent on the internet as well.  You can try to cover your tracks as much as you want.  But I don’t believe you can hide from yourself.  A friend on here posted this tweet from Cher talking about Epstein.  It was a pretty strong opinion about creepy rich old men that I respected.  The other part of it struck me a little harder.  Something about powerful and strong men holding on to that power.  Which leads me to think about what it means to be a powerful or strong man in modern times.  For the record I’ve been made to feel just like everybody else quite the opposite.  That none of the good I do ever really matters.  That how I choose to behave online and off however in sync is not seen as power.  And I’m aware that most men have never had to defend themselves or their privileges.  I’m also aware that I identify how I identify.  There’s no need for me to beat you over the head with any of it.  I’ve been online for years and you can ask around.  I’m not saying it wasn’t hard work to be a better man.  I’m not saying anything really.  That’s not for me to prove at this point.   I have nothing to defend other than the power of the identity I live in plain sight.  In truth being open and honest does get you taken advantage of often.  But you learn to handle yourself in dangerous situations.  Some of people’s ideas of friendship and trust can be a little naive.  I’ve been there.  Part of the reason I walked away from making music and performing it was the environment around it.  I found I was locked out and walked away from it out of boredom.  People already know who I am for better or for worse in more places I’ve never visited.  Imagine if I was a piece of shit behind the scenes.  My dirty laundry would be everywhere on the internet by now.  And these days it’s pretty apparent that being a Warlock in Christian America isn’t the same as it is on a PVP server.  War mode is always on if you want it to be.  And the battles go nowhere.  The only random drops I pay attention to are the sale prices on Gore-Tex Chuck Taylors.   The real power being how I manage my finances responsibly.  And nobody here listens unless you’ve got your wallet out anyway.  I don’t have a line item for any of that in my budget.  So I stick to carving out a safe space for myself in a sustainable way and be quiet.  Men have spoken enough at this point.  I amplify the communities and voices that have shaped my thinking on things.  I signal boost and I stay under the radar at the same time.  Unless of course you’ve got Airplay sharing enabled.

Every day I log on to this community I have a conscious choice to share.  I am mindful personally about what kind of message it sends out.  I don’t really judge other people’s curation.  I can say sometimes I’m not into certain things.  I’m not particularly sensitive to a lot of imagery.  I’ve spent twenty years servicing an art school.  I’ve seen plenty of fucked up shit outside of my comfort zone.  Everything has context in a community.  And here online I think we operate with the notion that we are trying to explore the boundaries of our own identities.  We are also trying to conduct this experiment in a safe way.  A lot of people might say I’m a little too cautious.  A lot of people also probably say that I’m a little too straight behind my back.  I guess I know my audience and vice versa.  But I don’t think of this place as an audience.  I’m not out here trying to sell things for profit.  I’m trying to signal boost the things that inspire me aesthetically in a complex way.  Some things I like.  Some things I love and care about dearly.  Some people know exactly what I mean when I hint about things.  And some people are lost and not even paying that close attention.  Some people pop up in my dash and their opinion means the world to me.  The togetherness of being in a place where people understand the nuance and context is freeing.  Nobody asks too many questions.  The interactions I’ve had with people online are always genuine and terse.  I’m not trying to secretly infect myself into people’s lives.  I’m not actively trying to interfere with anyone’s life or image.  I’m also aware that people are appreciative after all this time to trust that.  That kind of responsibility and accountability is an asset in complex and troubling times.  You know you can always count on somebody to be a good person.  There’s a real kind of power there when every other man out there talks the same shit but betrays their words through their actions constantly.  I wake up every day at five am and wander into work at seven thirty.  I’m there an hour before everyone else.  I give people rulers and staplers while I check my mail and post pictures on the internet.  I’ve been attacked over the years more often than anybody will ever realize.  A lot of it was unfair and misinformed.  Years later people know exactly why.  And years later people appreciate why I keep my mouth shut and mind my own business.  I judge myself by ethics nobody ever asks about.  I don’t go with the flow often and yet somehow I’ve travelled the world silently for years by myself.  I got around on human kindness and honesty.  You can never betray that in yourself.  Especially if you are a Warlock.  I’m sure the demons would consume you if you did.  It seems like simple enough logic and mythology.  I do this and stay me however complex that seems because I care.  It’s not conditional on an outcome.  I’ll be truthful I don’t know where any of this is going.  I’m lost in the dark completely.  And yet no one on this planet can be me.  And I know how powerful that is.  It has never been easy.  But It’s worth it for me because I have love in my heart.  The people that I really share it with deeply know just how much of that there is to go around.  It’s something I protect because it’s worth fighting for.  A safe place to be free online as well as off.  Let’s keep fighting that battle first and foremost.  It’s always been the same for me and will be for the immediate future.  It may be dark but I see the light at the end of this tunnel.  Seasonal depression nothwithstanding.  <3 Tim

[suckitsurveys]

How much do you weigh? Too much.

Where do you go when you’re sad? The internet.

If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? I mean, this is kind of a broad question. 

Are you happy with the person you’ve become? Happy enough.

Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? Pretty much. 

What’s the last thing you purchased? Dinner last night. 

Have you ever sat in the back of a police car? I have. 

Have you ever had to call the cops on someone? Yes. 

Are your parents divorced? My father is widdowed

Do you think you can love someone without trusting them? Not fully, no. I think you can care about someone who you don’t trust, but not love them. 

Does the idea of snowpeaked mountains and a large lake sound appealing? I mean, to look at, sure. 

Have you ever lost your luggage at an airport? Nope.

What’s your opinion on people who go hunting for sport? It’s not a culture I know anything about, but it’s always seemed really disrespectful to me.

Have you ever been on a rollercoaster that actually scared you? Yes. 

Do you know anyone who can fluently speak more than two languages? I think so?

The last person who texted you, have you ever fought with them? Yes.

Do you have a fairly fast or slow internet connection? Its horrible here.

Have you ever gone in a sauna? I have! I feel like those were very popular in hotels when I was growing up, but I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen one. 

Out of these colors, which appeals most to you: orange, blue, or green? Blue.

Have you celebrated your birthday yet this year? Nope, it isn’t until Sept.

Is there anything you’re saving up for? Life.

Are you taller than most of your friends? Definitely not. 

Know anyone with a really annoying laugh? Nope.

Have you ever punched someone and broke their nose? Definitely not.

What is the longest time you have gone without sleep? I think it was around 48 hours.

Have you ever been someplace tropical? Nope, I wish though. 

You see an ant on the ground, do you squish it? No.

Have you ever baked a pie? Nope.

What is your favorite social networking site? Tumblr or IG. 

Who was the last person to call you? My dad.

Does anyone in your family tell funny stories? Yeah. 

Do you believe in finders keepers in most situations? Sometimes. 

Is there a war memorial where you live? I’m sure there is. I’m almost positive there is but I cannot think of where/what it is. I’m pretty sure there’s a war museum too. 

Has anyone in your family fought in any of the wars? My grandfather, I believe.

Would you make any changes to your current bedroom? My current bedroom is being packed up to move into my new apartment. 

Has a stray dog ever tried to bite you? Nope, not a stray one. I have been bitten before. 

When riding a bus, do you prefer to sit up front, down back or the middle? In the back.

Have you ever been on a cross-country train ride? Sort of. I took a train back from Arkansas once, which took almost 24 hours. 

Are you normally a person to tell people off? Not unless I’m very close to them and they really, really deserve it.

Do you currently have any bugbites? Nope. Definitely a perk of winter.

Is there currently any caffeine in your system? Nope. I should make tea, I’m feeling very out of sorts right now. 

Look around, are things organized? Definitely not. This place is a fucking mess since my grandmother started staying here permanently and I fucking hate it and feel so fucking guilty for leaving but I definitely can’t stay here. 

Is there any TV show that ended that you wish hadn’t? Nah. 

Know what you’re planning to do after this? Maybe more surveys, but I feel kinda gross and overwhelmed so I might pack more. 

How would you spend a lazy afternoon? Surveys. 

How often do you update your Facebook status? Maybe once a week?

What’s the first thing you’d want to see if you visited New York City? I don’t know. 

When you feel stressed, do you take things out on the wrong people? I try really hard not to take my stress out on anyone.

Do you even wear any jeans other than skinny anymore? Not in a million years. You’d have to cut them from my cold, dead ankles. What do people do with that extra fabric around their legs it makes me so uncomfortable. 

Do you shop at Plato’s Closet? Nope.

What did you talk about at lunch today with your friends? Um. 

Are you sensitive to caffeine? Nope.

Have you ever been ice-blocking? Can’t say that I have.

Would you rather live in Austin, Boulder, Brooklyn or Portland? Maybe Portland? I have a few friends there. 

How do you usually get around? My car. 

Which languages do you wish you could speak fluently in? I have answered this so many times lately what the hell. 

Have you ever been accused of being too clingy? Yup, guys are assholes. 

Have you ever tried yoga? Yeah. 

Do you like Vitamin Water? Nope, I don’t like flavored waters. Except for Clearly Canadian, which I haven’t seen in YEARS. 

What do you think about Kim Kardashian? I don’t.

Can you speak any French? No.

Do you think too little or too much? Both?

Have you ever read anything by Shakespeare? Yeah, when I was in high school.

Do you know anyone with the last name Green? I don’t think so. 

Favorite yogurt flavor? Vanilla or Strawberry. I’m also in love with Chobani Flips. 

Are you creative? Sure. 

What are you listening to? "I Think You’re a Contra” by Vampire Weekend.

What are you doing this weekend? Packing up some more shit and hopefully finally staying in the apartment. 

Are you a neat freak? I can be. 

Does your phone ring or vibrate? Both.

Have you ever gone to see a movie just to make fun of it? Definitely not. What a waste of money.

Is the fear of butterflies a common fear? I don’t know? 

Last place you went besides your house? Liz’s to pick up a TV stand. 

Is your phone a touch screen? Yup.

When you listen to a new song, do you usually play it over and over? If I really like it, then yes.

How do you take your coffee or tea? Coffee with cream, plain tea. 

Ever been to a REAL metal show? Yeah, my friend is in a metal band and I’ve been to a few of his shows for support. 

Do you listen to songs more for the lyrics or the sound? Both?

Have you ever cut your own hair and been satisfied with the outcome? Nope.

Do you multitask well? Yes. 

When was the last time you couldn’t stop smiling? I don’t know. 

Do you like making up nicknames for people? Nope.

Leather or lace? Lace. My wedding dress is blue and lace with sequins and I’ve never been more excited about it!!!! Speaking of, I can’t get a damn tracking number for it, I hope they email me about it soon so i can pick it up!!!!!!!!!

Isn’t cracking your back the best feeling ever? It is one of them, yes. My back is constantly hurting. 

What’s a country you’d love to visit? Mexico.

How much money do you have in your wallet right now? I’m not sure. At least $40.

How much time do you spend on the computer? Too much, probably.

[omar-199x-blog]

first and last time ill post about myself (maybe)

* 1: name omar * 2: Age 19 * 3: Fears oblivion * 4: 3 things I love Food, Art, my girl * 5: turn ons my girl * 6: turn offs everyone else * 7: My best friend savannah then james 2nd just cause he knows me well * 8: Sexual orientation i am a male. penis and all. * 9: My best first date dont remember * 10: How tall am I 5'7 ish lol * 11: What do I miss the way holidays use to feel * 12: What time were I born an inconvenient one * 13: Favourite color lol black, red, grey * 14: Do I have a crush no i have a gf * 15: Favourite quote you get what you give * 16: Favourite place i hate crowds lol but i love the city especially during arts festivals * 17: Favourite food anything home made, steak and seafood are both at the top * 18: Do I use sarcasm when im using english * 19: What am I listening to right now Migos * 20: First thing I notice in new person how much they talk and what about * 21: Shoe size 10.5 US * 22: Eye color brown * 23: Hair color black * 24: Favourite style of clothing ummm... shit if its black, fits loose and is casual enough for hang outs but also stylish for dinner dates, you set * 25: Ever done a prank call? once and the cops came saying it wasnt funny * 27: Meaning behind my URL its my name and i was born in the 90's *shrug* * 28: Favourite movie i love all kinds of movie its hard to pick a favorite * 29: Favourite song gold steps / Neck Deep * 30: Favourite band BMTH/NeckDeep/Deftones * 31: How I feel right now annoyed as always * 32: Someone I love savannah marie * 33: My current relationship status almost a years worth of lovin * 34: My relationship with my parents all up in my life * 35: Favourite holiday christmas/thanksgiving * 36: Tattoos and piercing i have none and none but coming soon * 37: Tattoos and piercing i want a thigh piece that'll be across both a chest piece of the quote i put up there ears and nose but my girl dont like the idea of my nose * 38: The reason I joined Tumblr it was cool in 2013 * 39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? lol kat is a bitch for leading me on into a relationship i thought she was actually gonna dedicate to * 40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? texts and phone calls from my gf * 41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? all the time * 42: When did I last hold hands? last time i saw savannah * 43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? depends on where im headed to * 44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? not in the past 19 years * 45: Where am I right now? on bluemound omw to work * 46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? savannah we usual go out together * 47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? loud unless we chillin and talkin * 48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? about to be neither in like a week but my dad * 49: Am I excited for anything? moving out, tattoos, painting, cooking, working out * 50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? savannah * 51: How often do I wear a fake smile? ehh if im mad u can tell * 52: When was the last time I hugged someone? told my grandparents bye while leaving for work * 53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? id go crazy and probably kill both of them * 54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? lol yeah cause he dont keep secrets well * 55: What is something I disliked about today? i didn't see sav * 56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? André3000, Big Boy, Johnny Depp, Lenny Kravitz, and Post Malone lol ;Posty because he from round my city so we could vibe easily * 57: What do I think about most? life and how im failing or acing it * 58: What’s my strangest talent? it wouldnt be strange to me so idk * 59: Do I have any strange phobias? fuck caterpillars, fuck slugs, and snails whatever phobia that is * 60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? haha both but im usually behind it * 61: What was the last lie I told? im not hungry * 62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online? otp cause idk what to do with my face on facetime * 63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? yes and yes theres greater and more advanced beings than us and also souls dude they can choose to stay or go so like duh * 64: Do I believe in magic? yeah * 65: Do I believe in luck? ya * 66: What’s the weather like right now? breezy i work outside so perfect * 67: What was the last book I’ve read? i start books and halfway start another * 68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? FCUJ YES lol idk why its like dude i should be getting high of this smell but its not making me high wtf * 69: Do I have any nicknames? omii (oh-me) , catfish , choncho * 70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? broke my arm, nose, and ankle * 71: Do I spend money or save it? both when needed * 72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge? no * 73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me? what? no * 74: Favourite animal? red pandas * 75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? at work * 76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? sama * 77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? hey ya / outkast * 78: How can you win my heart? being sav * 79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? "See ya later losers" * 80: What is my favorite word? trudge * 81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr um idk their specific url's but i follow a graffiti one, a music one, a painting one, and some others similar to these * 82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? stop with all the hate man, if someone isn't harming you or effecting your life specifically let them be. let people do what they want to do and dont harm. thats it. * 83: Do I have any relatives in jail? did, he passed away. * 84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? teleportation * 85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? if im hungry because its a yes 100% of the time * 86: What is my current desktop picture? my uncle who passed away * 87: Had sex? ya * 88: Bought condoms? ya * 89: Gotten pregnant? not possible * 90: Failed a class? ya * 91: Kissed a boy? no * 92: Kissed a girl? ya * 93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? ya * 94: Had job? ya * 95: Left the house without my wallet? yes * 96: Bullied someone on the internet? lol ya * 97: Had sex in public? no * 98: Played on a sports team? ya * 99: Smoked weed? ya * 100: Did drugs? ig * 101: Smoked cigarettes? yea * 102: Drank alcohol? yerp * 103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? nah nah i love steak * 104: Been overweight? still am * 105: Been underweight? yea * 106: Been to a wedding? yes * 107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? i guess maybe * 108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? yea * 109: Been outside my home country? yes * 110: Gotten my heart broken? i suppose * 111: Been to a professional sports game? yes * 112: Broken a bone? a couple * 113: Cut myself? by accident * 114: Been to prom? yea * 115: Been in airplane? yes * 116: Fly by helicopter? nah * 117: What concerts have I been to? Kevin Gates, Big Sean, Jeremih, Carnage, RaeSremmurd, Post Malone, Russ, Future, J Cole * 118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? hella nah * 119: Learned another language? spanish * 120: Wore make up? for theater * 121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? yes * 122: Had oral sex? yes * 123: Dyed my hair? no * 124: Voted in a presidential election? no * 125: Rode in an ambulance? recently * 126: Had a surgery? yes * 127: Met someone famous? yes * 128: Stalked someone on a social network? no * 129: Peed outside? yes * 130: Been fishing? many times * 131: Helped with charity? yea * 132: Been rejected by a crush? dont think so * 133: Broken a mirror? no * 134: What do I want for birthday? an apartment * 135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? 4 - 2 boys first 1girl then another boy i only know my first sons name will be Aiden * 136: Was I named after anyone? no * 137: Do I like my handwriting? hell nah * 138: What was my favourite toy as a child? headphones * 139: Favourite Tv Show? shameless, Friends, family guy * 140: Where do I want to live when older? on my own * 141: Play any musical instrument? no * 142: One of my scars, how did I get it? forearm surgery 2 plates 11 screws * 143: Favourite pizza toping? pepperoni * 144: Am I afraid of the dark? sometimes * 145: Am I afraid of heights? no * 146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? yes plenty * 147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? eh life * 148: What I’m really bad at life * 149: What my greatest achievments are finding my gf * 150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me: idk * 151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery get tf outta here and go be alone * 152: What do I like about myself theres only one me * 153: My closest Tumblr friend none * 154: Something I fantasise about eat food from around the world * 155: Any question you’d like how was my day? eh i woke up at 2pm and haven't had any food yet so im pretty grumpy

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #340

“wash the poison from off my skin  /  show me how to be whole again”

What is one thing that you took to show and tell as a kid? I have this oddly specific memory of bringing my little Snorlax plushie for one in pre-k. I remember thinking everyone thought I was weird for liking Pokemon as a girl. Do you remember losing your first tooth? I don't. Have you ever been addicted to a game? What game? I think I was addicted to World of Warcraft at a point, but it's honestly hard to tell. My depression was just so abysmal that it was the one thing I got even a smidge of not even joy, but active distraction out of because the options of what you can do in the game are essentially limitless. Are you afraid to pop a balloon? Not really, but it does make me jump because I don't like loud noises. Name one person you’d like to see this month. Bitch we fighting Covid, stay away from me. When was the last time you laughed when you shouldn’t have? I don’t know. Which was better: the first The Lion King or the second? They're nearly tied, honestly, but I prefer the original. Do any of your grandparents have a tattoo? I KNOW my maternal grandmother didn't, and I don't believe any other grandparent did, either. When was the last time you had a bubble bath? Not since I was a kid. What do you usually buy when you go to the corner store? You mean like, a gas station or dollar store? Something small like that? In that case, I'll usually look for a Mountain Dew Voltage sometimes along with something Reese's-related. Do you believe that your pets feel love towards you? My cat, absofuckinglutely. He so obviously loves me. I know my snake doesn't though, considering reptilian brains just physically aren't capable of creating that emotion. She does, however, obviously trust me and definitely seems to enjoy coming out of her terrarium and thus hanging out by me. Bubbles or sidewalk chalk? I loved drawing with chalk, but I like bubbles more. I just love how they catch light and have such beautiful colors to share. What do you use to tell time when your gone out somewhere? My phone. Are you proud of your body? FUCK no. I wish I still was, goddammit. I used to be so fit, and it's funny, because even back then at like, 118 lbs at 5'4'', I thought I was kinda chubby. Like bitch shut the fuck up. Watermelon or cherries? I honestly don't like either, but I'll definitely pick watermelon over cherries. They're disgusting. What is your all-time favourite song? "False Flags" by Massive Attack. Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character? Biiiiiitch guess lmao. I think everyone has, though. What is the band you’ve listened to most lately? Definitely 3TEETH. Love 'em. Favourite brand of cookies? Hm, good question. They've gotta be good at making SOFT chocolate chip cookies, though. I don't enjoy crunchy cookies nearly as much. If you could meet anyone who lived before your time, who would it be? I don't really know. Oh, y'know, chatting with Edgar Allan Poe would probably be cool. Do you pay for your own things? I literally can't. It's embarrassing. Have you ever been rushed to the hospital in an ambulance? No. What is one thing you’d never want your parents to find out? Certain sexual things I've done, probably. When you were little, did you like Dr. Suess books? Of course. Have you ever felt trapped in a relationship? I felt that way in my friendship with Colleen, but no romantic relationships. What would you consider unforgivable? Rape. Like no, go to hell. Do you like eating out at restaurants? Pre-Covid, yeah. What do you dislike the most about being the gender that you are? Probably how heavily judged women are for having ANYTHING "wrong" with their appearance. You could be five pounds over what is "normal" for your height and you're seen as fat. One strand of body hair, and you're disgusting. Bushy eyebrows, you're now manly. I could go on and on. Do you think that weed/marijuana should be legalized? Yes. Rate your typing speed on a scale from 1 - 10? 10. Do you enjoy tanning? Ugh, no. Just sitting there doing nothing but sweating. Have you ever written anybody an anonymous note? I have not. What is your favorite condiment to go with french fries? Ketchup. Have you ever laid in a hammock? Yeah; we used to have one. It was the best when we lived in the woods. Do you blow dry your hair or do you let it air out? I just let it air dry. Candles or incense? I prefer incense. Can you juggle? No. Your favorite vegetable? Broccoli. Do you catch lizards? No; I don't like terrifying wildlife. I'd much rather just take pictures of the little guys and let them go about their business. If we returned to a world without internet, what aspect of online life would you miss the most? YouTube, haha. It's more unique and personal entertainment than television, imo. Are you craving anything aside from food, and if so, what? I want a new piercinggggg. What was the last change you made to your lifestyle? I'm *trying* to get back into regularly making art, along with reading. I'm also really trying to implement drinking more water into my day. What was the last thing you gave up doing? *shrug* What was the last thing to boost your self-esteem? What sort of things typically make you feel good about yourself? It really, really helped to hear my PHP group enjoy my poem about gay rights so much. I was so terrified and did NOT want my therapist to share it, but it turned out being very beneficial. To answer the second question, it's pretty much stuff like I just mentioned: positive reactions to things I create. When it comes to food, do you prefer crunchy or softer textures? Definitely softer. Do you prefer savory or sweet things for breakfast? Hm. Depends on the day, ig. What is something small that you take extremely personally? I'm blanking. What was going on the last time you couldn’t sleep? I just... couldn't sleep. That's not rare for me. Have you drawn anything recently? I recently drew a picture of a still from Rammstein's "Mutter" music video, and I'm now working on Sara's 'kat Alucard. If you're going somewhere close by, do you walk? No. One simply does not walk in this town and not fear being shot. Do you prefer colorful notebooks over plain ones? I like colorful ones, particularly those with a nice pattern or something on it. What's your most ambitious goal? I'd consider wanting to be a successful freelance photographer to be rather ambitious. Do you know anyone named Alex? Well, knew, by this point. One of my closest online friends that just got a boyfriend and fell off the face of the planet when we used to talk every day. I'm still hurt about it, honestly. What's your favorite kind of pie? I don't like pie because of the crust being so, well... crusty and crumbly. Have you ever chatted someone up and scored a date? No. How far would you go with someone you just met? Not very far at all. All you're getting is a hug, if even that. What's your favorite meal to have for dinner? I mean, it depends on what I feel like having. I don't have a set favorite meal. What do you daydream about? The future, mostly. People I miss. Have you ever known someone online and then met them in person? If so, which website did you meet on? Yes, Sara. <3 We met via YouTube back when it had much more social connection. Have you ever been to the beach? Yeah, a good number of times. When was the last time you were sick and what illness did you have? I don't believe I've been ill in any sort of way since I had that ungodly ear infection a few years ago. Have you ever been kicked out of somewhere? Yeah, Colleen's house. Mom once tried kicking me out of the car one night otw home, but I didn't listen. Have you ever intentionally trolled? No. How many siblings do your parents have? Mom has two brothers and I think one sister, and Dad has one sister. Who last held your hand? My niece or nephew, dragging me somewhere, haha. Have you seen all the Lord of the Rings movies? No, not interested. What was the last thing you watched on YouTube? I'm watching John Wolfe's playthrough of Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs. It's so funny how like... every let's player I watch doesn't enjoy the game, like they miss the incredible symbolism and shy away from the advanced language, and sometimes it's just frustrating to watch them; I only do because I enjoy the game and want to see more people experience it and relive it vicariously. It's very high on my list of favorite games. What sport do you find yourself best at? I wouldn't know; I haven't played any sports in years. I was pretty good at softball as a kid, though. Do you think makeup on guys is freaky or sexy? My opinion shouldn't matter; a man can wear makeup whenever he damn well pleases without worrying what others think. But anyway, I tend to find it attractive, especially if it's goth makeup. Have you ever been accused of a crime you did not commit? No. Do you like pickles? I love dill pickles. What was the craziest moment of your life? Probably just lying in that hospital bed following my OD, my mom and two best friends just sitting there with me. It was such a weird, weird feeling. Like I was just so done, frustrated beyond what I can say. I remember thinking it was almost funny, just how it all built up and went wrong. Where do you spend most of your time? In my room on my bed. What is your favorite muffin? Chocolate chip. Would you ever get a boob job? I already know when/if I lose the weight I want to, it will be kind of a big deal to me and my atrocious body image to get a breast lift. Being overweight ~does things~ you know, and god knows I want every trace of it that can be erased gone. Would you ever go on a reality TV dating show? That's a massive "no" from me, buddy. Would you rather be inside or outside? It depends on where I am and the temperature outside, but generally, inside. Do you like the current president? Well, I voted for him, so I can't shit-talk much. I don't know the true depths of him as a person and all he stands for, though; when I decided I needed to vote, I just did some research on his core values. I don't have any complaints yet, from what I've seen at least, which isn't a lot. Do you whiten your teeth? I've used whitening strips before, but I don't now because they're not that effective. If it's financially plausible at some point in my life, teeth whitening is another thing I want to have medically done because of my previous horrible self-care. My teeth have a clear yellow tint and I hate it. Do you get cold easily? No; it's actually the opposite: I get hot easily. What was the worst sickness you ever had? Probably this one stomach bug I had where I just threw up relentlessly. Like eventually barely even bile would come up; it was just dry heaving. My stomach muscles were in agony. Was your childhood wasted by something? No, thankfully. Would you rather die during an adventure or die like a normal person? A normal person. The idea of having such a sudden death stresses me out for multiple reasons; I mostly don't want my family to just be suddenly devastated, and I honestly want to come to peace with the fact I was dying. Like, find my life's own closure instead of just having it ripped away. Have your parents ever tried to commit suicide? Jesus, I sure hope not. Do you have a gag reflex? A very strong one. Do you ever fantasize about trying drugs? I've wondered before what the effects of weed would be like for me, but "fantasize" is definitely the wrong word. Would you rather have sex before you’re married or wait till marriage? It'd be up to my partner, honestly, because I'm fine with either. What is the nastiest dare you have ever committed? I never did dares because I thought they were stupid. Like I'm not gonna do dumb shit just to show you I can. Do you know anyone who has been raped? I think I might? Have you ever asked someone for a tampon? Yeah. Do you have any exes you can’t stand anymore? No. Are you more of a phone or a computer person? Computer. Do you prefer headphones or earbuds? Earbuds. Headphones are just big and clunky and in the way when you use a laptop in bed, plus they irritate my skin. I like how earbuds actually go in your ears for more direct hearing. Would you ever consider adopting a child with a severe mental illness? If I wanted children, no, because I don't think I'm capable to give a child like that adequate care, being so mentally ill myself. I wouldn't want to risk worsening their condition. Favorite thing to do with a significant other? Play games together, particularly cute multiplayer ones that are more about the experience of playing together versus getting past difficult obstacles and such. Like for example, one of my favorite memories with Jason is simply playing Little Big Planet together. Favorite ice cream topping? I don't like many toppings on my ice cream, but I do love melted hot fudge. First boyfriend/girlfriend’s name? Aaron. Do you support PETA? Considering they are incredibly self-righteous extremists, no. Do you believe in the Big Bang Theory? Well, I believe in some sort of "god" figure that created the universe, so I don't think so. A condensed ball of nothing exploding to create something so extravagant? It sounds pretty far-fetched to me. But then again, maybe that semblance of a "god" I believe in created the universe through that, idk. It doesn't really matter now, though, does it. What happened happened, I'm not very concerned with it. What insect can you not stand the site of? It's more so larvae that I can't stand the sight of, like maggots and stuff. They make me squirm. Do you like Doctor Who? I've only seen one or two episodes, so I can't say. Do you approve of gay marriage? Of course I do. I'm bisexual and would like to get married, so I might marry a woman. Are you into politics? I'm really not. Do you think the world is ending soon? Nah, even though it sure does feel like it sometimes. Ever been to a mosh pit? No, they don't seem very fun at all. Do you like to debate? NO. NO NO NO. Do you like the band System of a Down? Yeah, I do. Are you German? It's a big part of my heritage. Do your parents like your best friend? Yes. Who’s someone you can act your complete self around? Sara, 100%. She's the only person I feel entirely comfortable around when it comes to being myself. Do you believe in Friday the 13th? I don't believe in there being any supernatural power to it, no. Who is your favorite rapper? Eminem. What age is your youngest aunt? Uhhhh I have no idea. Do you like bowling? Sure, it's fun. Do you like roasting marshmallows on a bonfire? I do. What shows or characters scared you as a child? Ghostface from the Scream series was my worst fucking nightmare. I couldn't even see pictures of him without crying. The King Ramses guy from Courage the Cowardly Dog also gave me a number of nightmares. Something about the way he was animated was very unnatural and unnerving to me.