#And like… Ada don’t you remember what he did to you only like idk LAST NIGHT I DOUBT THE HAS THE BEST INTENTIONS FOR YOU

[sapphire-weapon]

Ada/Leon still clearly are into each other though, and I disagree with the idea that the Remakes made it so they aren’t/or they hadn't developed in or past 4.

In the 2RE round-table development video they spoke about how Aeon needed more interaction first before falling in love like they did in the OG.

4R isn't the latest we've seen of Leon and Ada chronologically. After 4R, we see them again in Damnation, where Ada insinuates they had some kind of romantic night together we never got to see, and then in 6 we see Leon tell Chris firmly that he'll defend and keep Ada alive, even under the possibility that she may have killed innocent people (even if this ended up just being Carla).

The remakes still lead into the later games, after all. Leon's feelings in 4R don't change how he feels in 6 - it just means he developed differently than we assumed. Last we've seen of them chronologically their relationship has only gotten closer, with both of them caring about each other more and more.

I guess you didn't catch Leon's constant head tilt after Ada comes into scene and also his immediate action when he saw Ada's captured. The man didn't spare a single second and even told Ashley that he knows it's a fucking trap but he's going in.

Remember, people often say things not exactly how they feel. I picked up all the small body language and actions that Leon and Ada do for each other that I firmly believe these 2 have a real thing for each other and the bond is not going to be broken no matter what.

The most telling sign to me is when Leon and Ada are on the speedboat, Leon tried to get an answer from Ada about what happened at Raccoon City and Ada never gave him a straight answer. This is not how a man who's moved on would act. If Leon moved on, he would not have even asked that question.

I don’t understand how people believe that just because there was no declaration of love given in OG2, or constant flirting like in OG4 that means they don’t like each-other anymore? If anything they just made their relationship more realistic which was their intention.

How are you really trying to justify the things that happen in games that were released in 2019 and 2023 with things that came out a decade prior? That doesn't make any sense, anon.

Damnation and RE6 came out in 2012 -- years and YEARS before the development of the games that we're talking about. The decision to pull back from the ship seems to have been made as a result of the backlash to RE6, so you can't point to RE6 and go, "this is proof that they're still dedicated to the ship." Like.

Come on, man. The response to my point of "They rewrote RE2 and RE4 to erase the romantic connection between Leon and Ada" is not "but look at the romantic connection they wrote in before that." Yeah, no kidding. You can't erase something that was never there in the first place.

I also don't understand how any of the things you're pointing at in RE4make are indicative of a romantic interest.

Tilting your head at someone is not a romantic gesture.

Refusing to leave someone to be tied up for slaughter is not a romantic gesture.

Asking someone if they have literally changed who they are as a person because you don't like/respect/want to be around the person they are/were is ABSOLUTELY NOT a romantic gesture -- and, in fact, is the complete and total opposite of what romance should be.

Like, let me just state, for the record: if a man asks you to change who you are for him, GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM HIM AND OUT OF THAT RELATIONSHIP. That's not a relationship that you want to be in. Period.

And, also for the record: Leon wasn't going to ask the question on the boat, because he didn't see the point in asking the question, and he even says up front that he doesn't trust her to be honest with him. He only asked it because Ada pulled it out of him, and he expected nothing less than the answer he got. I don't know how you read that as romantic and not as, idk, someone who's still trying to process the anger they feel over the trauma that they've endured. Feeling as though you still don't have closure with someone due to a traumatic event involving them is not romantic.

And it's not just the fact that they removed the declaration of love that's my point. In a vacuum and by itself, no, you're right, that doesn't mean anything. But to remove that declaration of love and then replace it with "As much as I wanted to trust you... I didn't [ever trust you at all]."? The intentions of the writers are made crystal clear when you consider those two things in tandem -- especially when you also factor in Leon acting like a total cunt to Ada throughout the entirety of RE4make for absolutely no reason other than petty childishness.

In Remake canon, it seems pretty clear to me that the relationship has been rewritten to be one-sided unrequited Ada having fallen for Leon, which sucks, because he treats her like shit and she shouldn't have to take that -- let alone be okay with taking it -- from anyone, least of all him.

[timdrakesbussy]

had a weird dream when i nap but it’s like the last 50 minutes because i don’t remember the rest and that i’m pretty sure it’s not weird UNTIL that last 50 minutes.

so like i was suddenly in a mansion? and i’m not me but a blonde lady in i think italy? and i was talking about decorations to my (i think) butler and then the whole room turns blue and the painting changed from that blonde lady to a pale dark haired lady (she reminds me of hedy lamarr) and i looked at the mirror to see that i am that dark haired lady.

but when i walked down the stairs, the mansion turns to some sort of apartment? but instead of units it’s like an open room and they all reminds me of a lower income houses i see in indonesia (complete with that shade of green wall). the first room i saw is from a guy who is a butcher and had two adopted sons, the room below it is locked. and when i go lower, i’m suddenly in a classroom.

i am no longer that dark haired lady, but instead i’m an indonesian high school student but i’m pretty sure it’s linda from dreadout. but i’m not there because i left the classroom and suddenly was in a sewer. i’m still linda, just in a sewer (there’s no sewers in the dreadout games) and then there were buttons on the bottom corners, like i was in some sort of mobile game and i am both linda and the one controlling her.

i went up and i appeared in that mansion again, but now it’s just a room and there were two doors that were cracked open. both show some sort of cult rituals, like what the fuck. i didn’t open them because i care about my life, thank you very much. so i just went down again.

the man right below my room called linda (yes i’m still linda) to come inside because he had something to say. and they talked about the neighbor that kept their room locked (which is weird since yk… open room for the guy and apparently also mine), idk what they’re talking about but it shocked linda to the point of her covering her mouth and then the man just fucking hang himself using the meat hook and let himself rolled till both of his adopted sons (i remember one of the son is named orion while the other starts with m but i don’t remember what, montague maybe? those two are NAWT indonesian names ffs) saw his body and they did not react to anything.

i control linda to get the fuck out of there because i don’t want to deal with all of that 😭😭😭 went up to my room, the cultists were still muttering their praises to whatever they were worshipping while eating (more like devouring) sacramental breads.

linda went down again to see the butcher’s assistants gagging and were terrified by the sight of their boss with hook in his throat, she continued to go down till she was in the classroom. now, this is where it all went full dreadout with the teacher as a hostile ghost that she needs to defeat.

and then i woke up, but not.

i’m on my bed, i saw the two kpop posters on my wall like i always do when i woke up, and my sister was talking with what i thought was her boyfriend (i sleep on a bunk bed). so i wanted to go down from my bed, only to realize that no, i’m not me and no, that’s not my sister.

i am apparently sebastian from stardew valley and my sister was maru, and sebastian did not go down but it was his spirit because he fucking died and on that bed was his body. maru stood up next to him and saw his body, she screamed and i woke up.

again, i am not.

this time i don’t remember who i am, but i’m from a video game. i think it was john from rdr. again, i tried to get off my bed only to repeat that i woke up.

but again, i am not.

this repeats with different characters that i lost count UNTIL i woke up as ada wong. she climb down and BAM, i finally woke up. and i know i finally am because i can feel my arms and they’re sore. also i can hear my sister talk on her phone again and apparently it’s not her boyfriend but someone she met on roblox.

so yeah, wild dream.

[peakyblindersxx]

May I request a john smut in which, despite being the cocky beast that he usually is, he manages to get all gentle and intense when, after years of mutual pining, he finally makes love to ada's best friend who's younger and totally inexperienced. Idk I just need this to be fucking intense, like John suffocating his desire for ages and now finally indulging in his worst temptation and showing her what lust is... please i'll burn in hellll

a/n: first of all let me say: this killed me. like, it’s literally all i can think about. god help me. but thank you so fucking much for requesting this bc i liked it sooo much that i decided to make a mini series out of it with the help of my babe @stxdyblr-2k who was sweet enough to offer to ghostwrite on the series 🥰 and to all my other angels who requested fics, don’t worry i will get them done! just wanna give you guys the best quality work i can. my 1st priority are some tommy requests i got, as well as some michael ones after :)

love, abi xxx

whiskey business - john shelby x reader (1 of ?)

warnings: nsfw! eventual smut, slow burn, john being sexy as all hell but also soft

John couldn’t tear his eyes off of you. From the moment you walked into the Garrison, arm loosely linked with Ada’s, clad in a black lace dress that hugged you just right, he couldn’t stop staring. Even Tommy and Arthur had noticed, cracking some joke about him being pussy whipped. The words floated right over his head, his mind on one thing only. The last time he had seen you, you were barely eighteen, cheeks pink as you waved goodbye out the train window to Ada as she sobbed. Ada had always had a flair for the dramatic, but the two of you had practically been attached at the hip your entire lives. So, he consoled her, reminding her that university wasn’t forever, that you would be back soon enough. And back, you were, red-stained lips sipping at a glass of something that Ada had practically shoved in your face. You weren’t a girl anymore, black heels crossed at the ankle as you sat across the room in a booth, laughing as Ada waved her arms, telling some sort of story.

“Just fuckin’ talk to ‘er, John-boy,” Arthur’s voice cut through John’s train of thought like a sharp knife, and he focused his eyes on his two brothers sitting at the booth across from him, clouds of smoke from Tommy’s incessant smoking heavy in the air around them.

“Fuck off,” John returned as he stood, earning a chuckle from Tommy.

“That’s right,” Arthur shouted as John made his way towards the bar, rolling his eyes at his older brothers. “Make sure you show her a real good time, eh?” Arthur’s voice was soon drowned out by the crowd around John, as they parted to let him walk through. He didn’t even see them, his eyes trained on your smile. Fuck, you were pretty.

***

“So, then I fucking kicked him in the balls.” Ada’s eyes sparkled triumphantly as she recalled the time she’d incited a riot, managing to cause great injury to a certain part of a policeman’s body. She did so casually, like it was no big deal. You couldn’t control your laughter as Ada grinned, pleased that she’d been able to make you laugh. “Fuckin’ missed you, Y/N,” she professed, shooting the rest of her gin and gesturing at the bartender to “leave the fuckin’ bottle, already.”

“Missed you too,” you smiled back at her, happy to be back in Birmingham in the company of an old friend. London was beautiful, but lonely. There was something inside you that missed the dirty streets, the crowded pubs bursting with familiar faces.

“Had to come over here myself to make sure it was you,” A deep voice interrupted your reverie and you looked up to see none other than Ada’s older brother John, looking even handsomer than the last time you’d seen him, in a grey-three piece suit, a cigar hanging from his lips. You’d had the hugest crush on him growing up, and the butterflies swimming around in your stomach seemed to confirm that you still found the tallest Shelby brother irresistible.

“Hi, John,” You offered him a shy smile and scooched over as he slid into the booth next to you, leaning in to press a chaste kiss to your cheek. You couldn’t help but drink in the smell of his cologne, the various drinks that Ada had encouraged you to down making you press yourself closer to him.

“M’kay, if you’re going to fuck, at least wait until I’m gone.” Ada’s voice snapped you out of it and you looked away, a pink blush staining your cheeks.

“Says the one who managed to fuck three of my best mates before you left school,” John retorted, causing Ada to roll her eyes, shooting her whiskey and pouring the three of you another glass each.

“I feel like getting drunk, and I’m not doing it alone,” Ada announced, causing both you and John to crack a smile at her forcefulness.

“Good thing we took a cab here,” you returned, before shooting your whiskey. If you were going to have to stare at John all night, you thought, you might as well be drunk doing it. Wasn’t like he was going to be staring back.

***

Ada was shitfaced, dancing in the middle of the pub. Luckily, Isaiah had stepped in as her partner, making sure her stumbling didn’t cause her to trip and fall. Unluckily for you, this left a tipsy you and John alone tucked into a booth in the corner of the room, out of view. The conversation was friendly, and you were trying your best to keep your mind off the way you could see John’s forearms practically bulging out of his suit. It wasn’t fair, you thought to yourself, for him to walk around looking like that. Especially when you knew that he was probably fucking the latest movie star, or something. It was almost impossible for you to keep your head straight, yet you managed to keep it civil. However, you couldn’t help your gaze from drifting to his lips. God, they were so pink and looked so soft, it was unfair. You couldn’t stop yourself from imagining how they’d feel on your mouth, let alone other parts of your body. Jesus, you were fucked.

A third of a bottle of whiskey later, you couldn’t help but let yourself slide closer to him, heart beating fast in your chest as you sat tucked into his side, his arm around you as you laughed at a joke he’d made, something about the stick up Tommy’s ass. Your eyes shone as they met his blue ones, his arm sliding down until his fingers were brushing against your waist, radiating heat into your skin.

“Y’know, I’d tell you how fuckin’ pretty you look tonight, but I think you already know that,” John rumbled into your ear, lips just barely brushing against your neck. Your breath hitched, and he noticed, a small grin spreading across his lips.

“You’re something else, you know that?” You shot back, a small smile threatening to take over your lips.

“M’not just sayin’ that. Couldn’t take my eyes off ‘ya, since you walked in.” John wasn’t kidding. For a second you didn’t know how to reply, staring up at him with a slight look of disbelief. The whiskey, however, had other plans, and had decided to respond for you.

“Can't keep your hands off me now." You smirked, waiting for him to escalate the moment, anticipation and liquor silencing the blaring alarm in your mind. God, you shouldn't want him as badly as you do.

"Can you blame me?" He muttered, dragging his fingers across the lace of your dress, tracing the pattern's loops absentmindedly, watching your jaw tense and lips part to take a gasping breath, your jacket having long vanished into the chaos of the pub. Your arms wound themselves around his neck, fingers twisting into his short hair. "Fucking come 'ere lass."

His strong arms lifted you onto his knee, gripping a thigh to help you balance, the friction of his rough hand against the stiff fabric pushing your dress up slightly. The need for more and the desire to know him completely intoxicated you far more than anything from a bottle; you'd never felt as though you were on fire from your drunk hookups. His fingers found the zip of your dress, tugging it down desperately, gripping the flesh of your exposed shoulder blades. A small groan erupted from your lips as you felt him chuckle below you, pressing a thumb to your lips to quieten you.

"John," you whined, pouting playfully against his thumb.

"I'll sort you out, I swear," He muttered, slipping his thumb between your lips. Instinctively, you sucked, locking eyes with him, his hand straying from your back to roughly grab your jaw, holding your gaze. "But if you're going to scream your 'ead off, we'll get caught."

"You wish you could make me scream, John-lad."

"Come off it, I could ruin you, Y/N." He stated, lifting your jaw, as though memorising the construction of your face, tone brimming with a cocky confidence only John could make attractive. "You want that?"

"More than anything." The words tumbled out of your mouth thoughtlessly, watching how his jaw tightened in response as you attempted to read his expression. He studied you for what must've only been a few seconds, but the moment passed so slowly, you could barely remember what it felt like to not be examined by his dominating blue eyed stare.

His grip guided your face to his, fingers tilting your chin so John's lips could brush against yours, before pulling you into a heated almost aggressive kiss, the straps of your dress barely grazing your shoulders, the hem of your dress bunching around your waist as he reached down your back to grab your bum in a firm squeeze. Your mouth gaped open in a gasp of pleasure, John taking the moment to run his tongue against your lips, gaining access and deepening the kiss. You were so caught up in the thrill of John's seduction that you hadn't noticed his hand suddenly pull away after moving your skimpy underwear to one side. You had instinctively ground your hips against him, he'd broken the kiss to let out a string of curses, complimenting you through his quickening breaths (“Fuckin’ wet for me already, aye?”), gripping your thigh. But as soon as he had pulled the thin silk from your thighs, the atmosphere shifted, his lip curling in frustration as his hands left your skin as though your flesh was suddenly scalding.

"John?" You prompted, resting a hand on his shoulder, noticing the dark shadows under his eyes for the first time.

"It's getting late."

"What?" Your voice sounded high and whiny, you mentally scolded yourself for sounding so needy. It was embarrassing to be rejected by the man you've admired for many years, but even worse to be openly vulnerable and so pathetic in front of your best friend's brother.

Ada.

Oh fuck.

Realisation hit you, it was either that or the unholy quantity of alcohol you'd downed which turned your stomach. You had gone too far this time. It was one thing to flirt with John and desire him from a distance, it was an absolute betrayal to have sex with him, knowing Ada's insecurity about being used to get close to her gangster brothers- sex, power and politics. You had sworn during those tearful walks around the canal that you'd never hurt her. You couldn't do that to her.

Your sudden panic must've been obvious, you tried to stand up from John's lap, stumbling slightly, only regaining balance due to a sudden arm across your back, anchoring you upright.

"No one has to know. It's our secret yeah?" He muttered into your ear, his words comforting.

You nodded silently, the reality of the situation settling in. Your hands are shaking by your sides, John catches them, locking his fingers with yours.

"It's fine, now. Nothing happened yeah?" He stood up in front of you, his muscular physique looming before you, the creases across his torso reminding you that just a few minutes ago his body was under yours, he was breathless, needing your skin against his, desperate and vulnerable. "I'll zip you up. Turn around."

His hands dropped from yours to fumble clumsily with your zip, struggling in the gloom and fog of intoxication, he eventually succeeded, the lace clinging to the curve of your hips, waist, back and chest again. You wished it was him instead that was skimming your figure but you pushed the thought away with a simple, "Thanks."

"I'll walk you home yeah?" He offered, as he straightens your skirt and his tie, allowing you to fix his crumpled shirt collar and the row of shining buttons below his throat which you'd ripped open as he whispered dirty nonsense in your ear, smirking at how you arched your back and swore back at him through your moans.

"Isaiah already said he would, it'd be better for us both that way. You know how people around here talk." You replied, glancing at the mirror on the wall of the booth to quickly smooth your tousled hair. Despite only recently returning to Small Heath, you'd already encountered the rife gossiping and quickly realised your neighbour was incapable of minding his own business. "Nobody has to know, right?"

John nodded, disappointed but appreciating your rationale and quick thinking despite your state, "Right."

"Good night, John," You said politely, ignoring the tension in his tone and the sudden soft sadness of his eyes, turning your back and walking to the door. Back to the sticky dance floor, back to Ada, Isaiah, Finn, Tokyo, back to spilling drinks, ashing cigarettes, back to noise, safety and far from the man who made your morals vanish with the same lines he uses on probably every single one of his conquests. Fuck it. You were going to enjoy it, you sped up your pace in your heels, trying to ignore your shaking legs. You tried to ignore the guilty twang in your gut when Ada screamed your name across the pub and stumbled over, dragging some lad on her arm, pressing drunken kisses to your forehead and cheeks.

You couldn't help but look back to see his shadow sloping away into the darkness of the booths closer to the dance floor, being bullied mercilessly by his brothers you assumed. You watched him fake a smirk, take the knuckles to his brow from Arthur, snap an insult back to Thomas and settle into his rightful seat. You only shifted your gaze to Ada for a moment but when you looked back up, he was staring at you, jaw tense, icy stare burning into yours, arms folded on the table, the gold chains of his sleeve garters barely glinting in the dim light. He looked away but you could see his cheeks were flushed with blood even in the glow of the oil lamps.

Pretending nothing happened was going to be impossible.

***

to be continued!

[yanderes-galore]

Okay but Emile meeting a listener at the mansion who actually was a patient at the same place and was friends with him before she got released but she’d still visit him regularly. And now at the mansion old feelings are coming up while he was always protective of her at the sanitarium now he’s a yan

Sure! I've been playing him recently and I love him! Idk what you meant by listener so I tried my best ;;;

I'm also speculating on why/how he came to the manor, I don't actually know-

Yandere! Emil with Patient! Darling

Possible Trigger Warnings: Yandere behavior such as a forced relationship, kidnapping, manipulation, mentioned violence, mentioned murder.

- Emil didn't know who due to his Amnesia, but he knew someone used to visit him all the time.

- He'd be given electro shock therapy all the time, only relying on Ada to help relieve his pain for the longest time.

- Then he remembered meeting someone else.

- Another patient who visited him often.

- It was a woman, he remembered that.

- But her appearance was completely blank to him.

- She would speak to him all the time, soothing him from his aching head.

- Emil remembered being really attached to her. He also remembered being distraught.

- Whenever she was gone, he wanted to scream.

- He felt he was missing an anchor, panicking before being hypnotized by Ada's whistle again.

- Yet, she'd come back.

- She acted as a pain killer.

- One time, faintly in his memory, he clung to her.

- She even hugged him back.

- It was the last memory he had of her before he realized she was gone.

- He was worried and always scared after that.

- She was gone, now he only had Ada....

- After escaping the asylum with Ada, they had fled to the manor.

- He wasn't expecting to be filled with past memories.

- You, he saw you at the dining room table.

- It clicked within him. You were the woman who he had been meeting with at the asylum.

- He had found you again.

- Ada seemed to remember you, too, but she chose not to interact with you.

- Emil desperately wanted to speak with you, but Ada dragged him off to their room in the manor.

- So, he waited until night.

- Despite the ring Ada gave him on his finger, he knew he belonged with you.

- He knocks on your door, visibly nervous.

- You open it, eyes wide with surprise and confusion

- "Emil...? You came here too?"

- His excitement was boiling over, he couldn't help but smile genuinely for the first time since the asylum.

- "(Y/N)! I missed you....."

- Emil is a clingy and obedient Yandere.

- He yearns to protect you unconditionally in exchange for affection.

- He acts like a lost puppy without you.

- He's also scared to lose you again, like at the asylum.

- Despite Ada telling him to stay away from you, he feels he can't.

- Ada may have helped him escape from his torture, but you understood him better.

- As a fellow patient, you understood what he had been going through better.

- He felt he could connect better with you.

- Emil also probably has anxiety, feeling Ada might hurt you as he adores you more.

- Emil feels he can't leave you alone.

- His attachment to you actually makes him distrust Ada.

- If Ada did try to hurt you, Emil is running to you right away.

- He's blocking Ada from you, an aggressive expression on his face.

- Emil would do anything for you as long as he can stay close, this would include kidnapping and murder.

- You may not command him to do it, but if he sees someone near you he doesn't like he will go after them.

- He feels you're right for him.

- No one else should be near you as they might hurt you like how he was hurt.

- Next thing you know, Emil is locking you in your room with him.

- "You can't go out there, (Y/N)...What if Ada hurts you?"

- Emil then takes off the ring he has and throws it aside.

- "You only need to have me now, let me return the favor of what you did all those years ago...."

[opheliasbrokenmind]

heartbreaker - tommy shelby

hiiii, i’m back on my obsession with this man... i was going to write something short but then i couldn’t control myself and this happened. let me know your thoughts, feedback is always welcomed <3 

and idk what kind of writing is this, since i find it hard & scary to write a full one shot but i know this isn’t a hc or drabble as well, i only hope you enjoy it :)) and i’m free for three weeks and i’m waiting for your tommy requests as always

gif is not mine, credits to the owner

being the most reckless teenage girl in small heath, it wasn’t a surprise you hung out with the blue-eyed princess, ada shelby

it all started when you were barely ten, going to the same school

soon you were sharing a desk and tons of laughs

even the teachers failed to make you silent. if they tried to separate you two, you’d cause a huge mess in the classroom

spending time at shelbys after a long school day, chatting all afternoon in her room, ada complaining about her brothers and you giggling at her words

one day you laid your hands on a book and it was it, you were telling stories to ada all day long

you started talking about how small the small heath really was, a tiny world which you decided to leave the first chance you got

then you were fifteen, a young soul with wildness, searching for every kind of trouble possible 

ada on your arm, going on dates with boys you knew from school, sneaking out all the time

but ada wasn’t the same, thanks to her overprotective brothers. they believed you were a bad influence for her but your souls were bonded

and that never stopped john from taking you out a night, getting you a drink and kissing your lips 

you weren’t looking for a strong relationship and neither did he so it was just a few days and a few more kisses, none of the family members knowing it - or you both thought that

you were hanging out with a boy for a few months, then you were over it in a day. next week, you were going to pictures with another guy, laughing and enjoying your life

ada insisted you spent many nights with her, you girls talking about everything and by the time you were seventeen, you thought her older brother tommy looked quite good

one night you woke up, walking downstairs to have a glass of water and there he was, sipping tea in the middle of the night

‘what are you doing, tom?’ you asked, your eyes still trying to adjust to the light as you frowned, wondering if something was wrong

‘i’m thinking. care to join me for a cup of tea?’ he suggested and well, who were you to say no?

you took the chair next to him and watched him bringing you a cup and pouring you hot tea. the view seemed and felt too regular to you, you’ve seen him doing the same for his siblings for thousand times

just before you reached for the sugar, he leaned forward and put the exact amount of sugar you used. you didn’t say anything as he looked at you, you watched his fingers holding the hot cup, knuckles almost white

‘what are you thinking?’ you asked shyly, you weren’t so close with him unlike other shelbys. john was a friend, arthur was like a brother but tommy? you didn’t know what was he to you

he was the brother who tried to keep ada on the line and you were the distracter. the young, reckless friend filled with passion for everything. you were excited about books, boys and anything life had to offer you

‘the war, the soldiers’ he said like he was talking about the weather

‘what? you’re not thinking about going there, are you?’ you frowned immediately, leaning in to look directly into his eyes

‘i don’t know, feels like i should be there like the other boys’ he said the truth and you grabbed his wrist, an annoyed look plastered on your face ‘are you serious? don’t act like a fool, tom’

his name sounded harsh on your lips, like the times he spotted you and ada at the pub, taking you back home as you resisted. even though he was seven years older than you, you were never afraid to say his name as you wished

‘do you think it’s a joke, y/n?’ he asked, his blue orbs focused on you, ignoring your glued fingers on his arm

‘your family needs you here, not in a shithole in france. you’ll go there and what? that’ll prove something to the people? or you’ll end up as a man with no grave? leaving these people here just with pain?’ you hissed, glaring at him as you let go of his arm

‘you speak like i don’t care about them. i want to protect this country so they’ll be safe’ he explained calmly

‘you can’t leave them’ you said but it came out as a whisper, you almost said ‘us’ instead of ‘them’. tommy watched you staring at the tea and he tried to guess what was going on inside your head

‘as if you like me, y/n’ he faked a smile in an attempt to cheer you a bit but it only made you angrier, ‘fuck you, tom’ you hoped he didn’t see the blush rising to your cheeks and turned your head away from him

‘that’s not what you’ve said to john, huh?’ he couldn’t control the words so when you heard him, your lips parted with surprise. ‘i don’t have to defend myself to you, that was two years ago’

‘i saw you two, then you broke his heart’ he let it out and you didn’t know what to say, ‘it wasn’t something serious and that was before martha, he looks very happy now’

‘that’s just what you do, right? breaking hearts and moving on’ his words caught you off guard and you thought he was trying to change the war subject. if he wanted to argue, you were up for it

‘it’s not my problem if boys are that fragile. maybe they should, you know, grow up’ you said simply, waiting for another smart answer

‘grow up and what, break your heart?’ he asked back and you found yourself smiling, ‘oh, no. i’m the heartbreaker here. they should look for a girl who’ll marry them and stand them’

‘wise words for a little girl’ he said as he smiled, a real one this time. ‘little girl? i’m almost eighteen and i remember, your girlfriend isn’t too older than me’ with the mention of greta, his smile fell off and you could tell something was wrong

‘what’s wrong, is she okay?’ you asked and waited impatiently for an answer. ‘she’s sick, i-’ he stopped and shook his head slowly, ‘i don’t know what to do, she’s not getting better, just worse and.. her parents don’t let me see her’

‘i’m so sorry’ you managed to say and when he looked at you, he knew you meant it. ‘why didn’t you tell....’ you were going to ask if the other shelbys knew but it sounded ridiculous in your head

‘i don’t know how to. whatever, i shouldn’t have told you, too’

‘you know, i’m not your enemy. yet it looks like you’re searching for more, huh?’ he was thinking of an answer but you weren’t waiting for one, you got up and walked to the stairs, leaving him with his thoughts

that was the last time tommy saw you, you disappeared for the next days and soon he found out from ada, your aunt passed away and you moved to london with your mom

unlike her shy, sweet sister greta, kitty jurossi was outgoing and she happened to be a friend of a friend of yours. before you left for london, you managed to persuade your mother to go and speak to her family

with that, tommy shelby was allowed to stand by his first love and hold her hand for three months until she closed her eyes and never opened them again

days after her funeral, he’d learn the reason why her parents let him stay with her. then he signed up for war, leaving without looking back. in the end, there was nothing for him to stay

meanwhile, you were discovering the london, meeting with new people and trying not to think of small heath. of course, you were missing your best friend but ada and you both knew you’d escape the small town with the first chance you got

ada’s response to your letter arrived months later, letting you know greta was dead and the shelby men were in france, fighting for the king

it made you sick for days, unfamiliar nausea bothering you all day, making your whole body ache. you were worried for the shelby men you grew up with and for the women waiting for their family

the war continued mercilessly and at some point you even thought about writing the boys a letter but you didn’t know what to say after leaving them without a word

then it was all over. ada wrote to you, telling you they all returned yet everything was different now. the way tommy turned and the lack of sincerity in john’s smiles. he used to laugh, you thought

you were living on your own in london when you got another letter from ada, it was bad news. apparently freddie was dead, which made you cry on the carpet on your hallway, remembering the boy ada used to talk about years ago. ‘now it’s just me and karl, y/n. i’m leaving this hell, probably coming to london’

but she forgot to give you a new address and you never dared to write to shelbys, asking about ada. you guessed they didn’t hear from her as well, since she left with a broken heart and rage

one day you couldn’t find a book at the bookshop so you made your way to the library, looking for a worker to help you. there she was, the best friend you ever had

‘ada?’ you asked and it was it, you were reunited. spending days talking about everything that happened after you left with lots of hugs, glasses of wine and cups of tea

you started to spend most of the week at her house and of course, karl loved you. it was as if you never parted away, you were happy again

she learned you were continuing your career as a heartbreaker with londoners. ‘heartbreaker, huh? is there anyone nowadays, y/n sweetheart?’

‘oh no, i used to hang around with a writer. he was saying i was his muse all the time and you know, it’s nice to hear things like that. then he left the fucking country, saying he wasn’t productive with all the noise in the city’

‘someone sounds angry’ she teased and you laughed, ‘i was but i don’t care much. i mean, i couldn’t leave here and move to the countryside, raising chickens. i need the wildness in this crazy city’

soon you were going to the parties together, good looking men and booze surrounding you all the time

it was your birthday when you went to have dinner at a nice restaurant, then met with your other friends in a nightclub

you would say both of you could handle your drinks but when it was almost midnight, you thought ‘fuck it, we can mess for once’ then the rest of it was a little bit blurry

you could remember the girls dropping you to ada’s flat and ada going to her room. you lit a cigarette and once it was finished, you thought how soft was the carpet at the living room. even it was an uncomfortable surface, you slept like a baby

that’s why you didn’t hear the knock on the door. then with a little force, it opened. thomas shelby walked in, cursing underneath his breath 

he stepped in and saw a body laying on the ground, a woman, wearing a short silk dress and tommy walked to her with fear, his heartbeat quickening

then he realised it was you, after all those years. you were breathing, thank god. so he gently shook you, ‘y/n’ your name sounded like a pray on his lips

you sighed and opened your eyes slowly, only to see a man kneeling beside you and that man happened to have a face of a ghost from your past, tommy shelby himself

‘tom?’ you asked and you thought it didn’t feel real. ‘i’m still that drunk, huh?’ you chuckled softly but when you looked again, he was still there

‘it’s not a dream, y/n. i’m here and i see, you haven’t changed, not even a bit’ he sounded kinda angry, frustrated because the state he found you in

you frowned and watched him, ‘and here i was, thinking i got prettier’ he rolled his eyes but soon enough you were both smiling

‘you are’ he let it out and you stared at him, ‘that means i wasn’t pretty back then?’ this time his smile was wider, ‘i didn’t say that’ it was surprising you both, you were talking like you weren’t strangers now

it was weird yet comforting, familiar just like the last time you spoke, years ago. you could see he was a man now, a beautiful one with hands covered with blood you couldn’t see

and there you were, he thought. still a heartbreaker with an angel’s face

[altsvu]

unusual reunion

pairing: sonny carisi x female reader

wc: 1296

tw: mentions of COVID-19, rape, a bit of violence and blood, swearing, shameless flirting

a/n: this oneshot is based on law and order svu 22x06!! this was something that i thought of out of the blue, and this is for @sweetcannolicarisi ‘s “Candy Hearts” soul mate bingo square! i wrote this to have a set portion of it to be real life because of the hospital setting. the italics are flashbacks/reader thoughts. there are also some lyrics from streets by doja cat which are bolded and italicized!

taglist: @detective-giggles, @lapaquerette (idk if you wanted to be tagged, but i did it just in case!)

You were just getting off your break after finishing half of your 12 hour shift at Mercy Hospital, when your phone rang. You were completely drained from calling doctors and nursing staff all morning and you couldn’t bear to pick up the phone once again. That is, until you saw who was calling.

Liv.

She only really called you during work hours when something was wrong.

“Hey Liv.” you said when you picked up the phone.

“Y/N. Hi. Are you working a shift right now?”

“Yeah, I actually just got off break.”

You could hear the worry in Liv’s voice. “Okay, um, Sonny’s hurt. Do you think you could do a check up on him?”

You froze when you heard his name on the phone. This was the first time you heard of him since he became an ADA. When he was a detective, you would see him all the time in the hospital when he had to interview female victims that were raped and had injuries following the assault, interview doctors involved in a case, talk to children of abandoned families and abuse, and ask doctors and nurses for results on a patient. He even talked to you from time to time, seeing as you worked in the department that dealt with women and kids, and every time he did, you noticed more and more things you liked about him. It got to the point where he asked you to share a drink or two with him after your shift one day. The two of you weren’t really in any relationship, you just became close friends. You helped him study for his bar exam and celebrated with a few drinks when he passed. You had a schedule for talking on the phone, first every Friday night at 11:30pm, then talking on every break you had. All was well between you two. Until he stopped calling and showing up.

“Yes, of course I can. I can set up a room for him.”

Liv sighed of relief. “Thank you so much. I owe you one.”

•••

“Hey, Y/N, there’s someone for you.” one of your colleagues said.

“Okay thanks.” you said, getting up, adjusting your stethoscope and mask and going out to the waiting area. When you saw Sonny, you were horrified. What the hell happened to his face?

On the other hand, when Sonny saw you, his eyes lit up.

“Y/N, thank you so much for doing this.”

“My pleasure. I love helping out my friends.” you paused, your eyes drifting to Sonny’s face. Snapping your attention back to Liv, you asked her if she had to step back to work, in which she said yes. You reassured her that Sonny would be safe in your hands and when she left, you smiled with your eyes and led him to the room you set up for him.

“Sonny, what happened?” you asked softly as you washed your hands.

“I was talking with the powerful judge and their defense and... well things got out of hand.”

“Gallagher? The one running for attorney general?”

“How-“

You let out a slight chuckle. “I saw his half assed excuses on the news the other day.” Bringing over some of the tools and supplies needed, you continued. “So, lemme guess, he threatened to fight and you went for it.

“He called me a dago. And called my suit cheap.”

You were about to apply some alcohol to the gash on the side of his head when you stopped. “He called you that? That’s not okay. He disgusts me. And... your suit is nowhere near cheap. It’s quite beautiful and expensive looking if you ask me.”

“You really think so?”

“Of course I do.”

“Something tells me it’s more than just the suit.” you proceeded to take his mask off so you could clean some of the blood under it when his hands found his way to yours.

“What are you talking about?” you faltered.

Sonny gently pushed your hands away and took off his mask, setting it aside. “We’ve known each other for how long now?”

“About 5 years.”

“Remember when I took you out that one night after your shift?”

A smile crept up on your face under your mask.

“Yeah... I wanted to change out of my scrubs and you waited for me outside of my apartment. When I came out you were breathless.”

When you opened the door, Sonny looked astonished. “Jesus, Y/N. You look amazing.” You felt so confident in your blouse and skirt combo and Sonny liked it. “Thank you, I’m glad you were willing to wait for me.”

“It was a really good night. Probably one of the best nights I’ve ever had after a shift.” you concluded.

“Yeah me too.” Sonny said looking into your eyes. After a pause, he whispered, “Y/N, what the actual fuck are we doing?”

You reached for the alcohol pads and started cleaning off the blood from his face. “I don’t know Sonny. There must have been a reason for the silence.”

Sonny winced from the cool alcohol touching his open wound. He liked how gentle you were with him even though you and him talked less and less during quarantine. He actually thought you hated him. “This is about when I finally became an ADA. Y/N, don’t get me wrong, I thought of you every day. I wanted to surprise you, show you how much I missed you and then COVID-19 hit. Quarantine made me miss you even more, and you were working tirelessly so I knew I couldn’t bother you.”

You finished cleaning off all the blood, trying to process everything Sonny was saying. He missed you? He thought of you everyday? Did it actually mean something?

“I really am sorry.” he whispered. After washing your hands again and setting up the tools to give him stitches, you looked back in his eyes. Here he was, spilling his heart out to you, expressing his love for you, and you couldn’t even do anything about it.

“Don’t apologize. You didn’t do anything wrong. Quarantine really fucked me over and I should’ve went to you for help. And I should’ve been there when you started out as an ADA. I’m the one who’s truly sorry.”

“Hey. You’re one of the biggest reasons why I was able to become the person I am today.”

You bit your lip. “You really think that?” Sonny nodded in response. You slipped on a pair of gloves and proceeded to give Sonny his stitches. “Can I tell you something that I’ve been meaning to tell you?”

“Anything.” you replied.

“Well, in my head, we belong. And I can’t be without you.” Sonny admitted. “I think you’re my soul mate, we were meant to be. It justifies the amount of times we ran into each other.”

“Well can I tell you something back?” you said, finishing up the last of the stitches.

“Anything- fuck.” he whispered as he felt some of the stitching.

You let out a soft giggle as you finished the last stitch. You cleaned up the area, washing your hands as well, and stood in front of him. “Sonny, I’ve been thinking about you a lot as well. I didn’t know how to approach you, even before the pandemic when we were spending so much time together. I found it hard to find someone like you, after everything, all signs pointed back to... you.”

“I’m here right now with you. Why don’t we make things official?” Sonny whispered. He reached over to your face and pulled off your mask.

“Why not?” you whispered back, letting Sonny pull you closer into a deep passionate kiss.

That had to be the most amazing kiss you’ve ever received.

[windsweptlassie]

On Love

So as you know I made this uquiz with an open-ended question at the end, tell me something about love, and I’ve gotten the most wonderful responses! They range from descriptions of wonderful partners: 

Lauren: oh, how long I went without being myself until I met him and he showed me who I truly was and that my worth was higher than I ever thought was possible

Levi: I love who we are with each other. I love who I am with you. In your company I am me. In your company I am the best of me. The best with the best, I've told you. I wouldn't give you up for anything

Daniel: i fell in love for the first time when i was 17... at the time, i didn’t realize it was the first time, i thought i’d been in love before, a couple times actually, but falling in love at 17 was such a fulfilling experience, it felt so forceful yet so right. it’s when i first truly understood what love was. never before had i felt so understood and so cared for as i did when i was in love with her, and she was in love with me. it’s been nearly 4 years since then, and nearly 3 years since we broke up and stopped talking, and still, i think about her almost every day. i’ve never known anyone like her; to me, she was love itself.

El: oh i’m in love with everyone that i know op!!! especially my girlfriend, of course ,but also my friends and my family and random people on the street and uh

Grace: i’ve met my soulmate and we plan on getting an apartment and marrying after college

A: I’m going to ask the woman I love to marry me and I just wanted to tell someone because I am so excited

Jeremy: you ever have that feeling where basically after years of denying that someone couldnt understand you in a way or love you and then the next thing you know you happen to find that person and its just great from then on out? idk how to explain it anyways I love my boyfriend so much he means the world to me

Lucy: i am so happy i have found the one i love

to descriptions of best friends and favorite people:

Nightbyrd: Love is a hug from an alzheimer's patient who hasn't the foggiest idea who you are, but they know you're worth hugging.

H: I have been doing so much yoga with my roommate recently!! It's a great way to center my mind for an hour

Riv: [platonic] i’ve literally never met anyone who understands me in the way that my best friends do. they’re literally the best people in the whole world and i genuinely don’t know what i’d do without them. i love them with my whole heart

Cillian: when i talk about how much i love my best friend i get so teary eyed because i cant believe that such a genuinely wonderful person wants to speak to me every day - i care for her more than anyone else on this planet

O: my two besties are my sources of happiness and they’re so pretty i would die for them :D

to beautiful quotes:

Kai: "you have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love, I love, I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on." DARCYYYY PLS MY HEART CANT HANDLW THIS PAIN

Dorian: When the plane went down in San Francisco, I thought of my friend M. He’s obsessed with plane crashes. He memorizes the wrecked metal details, ____the clear cool skies cut by black scars of smoke. Once, while driving, he told me about all the crashes: The one in blue Kentucky, in yellow Iowa. How people go on, and how people don’t. It was almost a year before I learned that his brother was a pilot. I can’t help it, I love the way men love. (accident report in the tall, tall weeds- ada limon, bright dead things)

Adam: every day I think about lemony snicket I will love you if I never see you again I will love you if I see you every Tuesday or however it goes. and it KILLS ME. love only fits in small things

Hero: “Your heart beats in my ribs and mine in yours, and both in God’s… The divine magnet is in you, and my magnet responds.” - Herman Melville to Nathaniel Hawthorne

Mary: "Love is watching someone die."

Alex: "meet me at blue diner, i'll take coffee and talk about nothing baby"

Sparrow: "How dare you love me like you've never known fear?" and "For you, the world," and "Darling, I was born to press my head between your shoulder blades," and "Will you start where I end?"

V: " You want to die for love. You always have. " and "someone will remember us, I say, even in another time" are living rent free in my mind 24/7 and I'm shaking. When will I finally be not the only one falling ?

Sahar K: To love another person is to see the face of god!!!

Miriam: all the love in the world is useless when there is total lack of understanding- kafka

Juls: Don’t you think they are maybe the same? Love and attention

to practices of love:

Leo; i love feeling happy bc somebody that i love is happy and comfortable....like its not about me i just love seeing you smile. we are safe together...idk i just feel it bro

A: I like to think love is leaning on each other during the light or dark days. Its a personal mission of mine to find out who I am and what I want. Yet I never seem to find my place in this world and as I look and look , I realise the only place I can be myself even with or without the efforts to find myself was done on that day or not, I am always tired so shall I lean on you? And you can lean on me as well. I shall be your fig tree and you shall be my favourite willow tree.

L: It's too late at night to be soul searching, but it's a journey we all seem to find ourselves on these days.

Anthi: feeling safe and at home, I guess (also I love frogs)

Julia: ive found that loving someone is like becoming your own thesaurus. you have to find or come up with infinite ways to say, you’re beautiful, or, i love you. it’s a gift

Galexies: ive been writing letters to the person i'd love one day since i was 14. i write them in a little journal usually, but i've been digitizing them into emails and sending them to one account that i'll give to them someday. i'd like to put pictures, but i haven't been outside much recently so theres that. i wonder if they'd like the sunsets i have on file, or if they'd find my cat cute in a bowtie.

Caeles: Love is sharing fruit slices and making someone tea at random

Dundy: Love is sending your friends cursed shit and watching them react in horror

to crushes and potential loves: 

Jess: I have a crush on my roommate. It sucks, but it's also wonderful. I get to be around him all the time when we're at school. we share a life together; it's rather domestic. I think a lot about marrying him and being domestic with him forever. It won't happen, and I'll move on eventually, but I'll be happy with him for as long as I can. I hope you feel loved tonight, because you are. Sleep well.

Aki: I so desperately want to believe that love is fake because I’ve seen what happens when loved ones leave but whenever I start to convince myself that I’ll never love anyone my best friend messages me telling me she loves me. She’s the only person I’ve ever pictured having a future with but love scares me and I don’t really know what to do but I think as long as she’s with me in some way, I’ll be fine

Hi: her her i keep thinking abt her.... gonna see her in 8 days or so i really miss her. its ok if shes never gonna love me like i want her to really being her friend spending time with her makes me the happiest girl on earth.... outsold antidepressants

Kit: this guy i have a crush on has hypnotically dark brown eyes and he's wonderful and shows me kindness like no one else

Juno: my crush has all the stars in his eyes

Mads: When I have the courage to meet my eyes with hers, the world stands still

Be Nice To Me: Look bro I never do these but I am yearning to hold them SO badly right now and someone needs to know it besides me

to the trials of love: 

Pppppp: I just wanna love like from the movies and what I read about.. but everyone tells me that that’s fictional and rare to find in the real world and it sucks bc it seems like all the guys I’ve met are terrible and the norms of society are all about not respecting women and uthdjdjdk

Manny: I have been in love before and I will be again but I’m not now and I miss it

Ok: I don't think I've ever been in love, though I love many people. I am waiting for the day I look at someone and can say, YES. IT'S YOU.

Chloe: idk rn i'm like okay with my love and i'm happy so we'll see i'm just a little cautious rn bc my last partner told me i didn't know how to love

L: love is so fucking complicated I don't even know where to start

Corrin: He’s not real and it worried me that I will never allow myself to live or be loved because I will always be waiting for him

Sean: Good luck it dont exist

Serena: i want 2 b in love :(( </3

13: I don’t know anymore

M: I just really don’t like dealing with it lol

to beloved characters: 

Janaya: I’m madly in love with my comfort and kin character and I hope maybe in the afterlife I can relive a life with him in some sort of dimension

Jhgjdf: when i was a kid i had a crush on ash ketchum from pokemon and id always daydream about being a female pkmn trainer and meeting him and we fall in love

to advice and prose: 

Mikolai: Love is earth, gentle and soft at first flight but upon being broken, drowns you in the dry choking wastes of its consequences...

Thex: Your hands will not go cold without someone to hold them. I am here. I will be here.

Kat: it is the nearest proof to god that i find myself surrounded by people who love in a way that complements so wonderfully the way i love

H: believe in love out of spite believe in love to prove everyone wrong believe in love because you were told not to and we will not do what we’re told anymore believe in love because it’s the strongest act of teenage rebellion we have left believe in love because it’s easier not to and when is easy worth doing? believe in love because everything says otherwise but you are untouchable, you are your own, you are not made by their design believe in love because, perhaps, you are love

Ali: I used to want a kind of love that feels like coming home and now I want nothing more than to be away from home on many different adventures

Em: you dont need to love yourself to accept it from others

to the small, the simple, and the sweet:

Ireal: Poems

O: Flowers

Fay: ah im sorry that i’m feeling unmotivated but you are very kind.

Ad: we love LOVE

A: <3

Isak: small things

H: intense

Hey: Listening to a clock ticking away

S: her

E: <3

Hania: Amorous, I adore that word ^^

Catboy: wholesome

J: i love love so much it hurts

Emmy: hi i love the song darkest of discos!! try and give it a listen!! <3

Nora: Love is painful, but most of the time love is great

Ariel: i like the comfort it can bring

M: i love love

to food!

Cool Whip: Matzoh ball soup!!

Woop: I love sausages.... I hope that's ok with you?

and animals too <3

Nee: hmm i have pet geckos and i love them very much!

96: raccoons ????

DJ Big Penis: cats

:3: I Love frogs,,, love is stored in the frog,,,

I hope that this serves as a sweet compilation of what love means! Love to all of you, it warms my heart so much to hear about your people and your geckos and your characters and soup and all the songs and quotes you love. <3 Strength to all of you who are figuring out to do about your feelings for your crush, and congratulations to you who are proposing or moving in with your person! Your words are a source of light to me, truly.

[pleaseleavemetowrite]

All my troubles on the burning pile | Tomas Shelby

warning! I don’t know all that much about the show, I’ve seen a total of 1 season so if anything is wrong please just ignore it for the sake of the fic

this also takes place before the events of the show, like significantly before. Also Tommy is probably ooc but idk i like it 

Also if (Y/n) is annoying at some points just please keep in mind that during some parts she’s literally a six year old 

———————————————————————

Small Heath remembered the day the men got sent away for war vividly. Boys were swept away from their families arms far too young, Fathers were dragged away from their children, and lovers were ripped away from each other some old and some young. It's hard to forget a day like that. But that is only increased when a roaring fire illuminated for what seemed to be miles from the old field where it originated.  Some would tell you it seemed like hellfire, nothing but retaliation from a stupid teenager who felt too much and didn't have enough discipline. Others would tell you it was a heartbreaking scene, a pitiful display of how everyone felt to some capacity. But only (Y/n) would be able to tell you how it really was, an explosion of too much yet not enough. Like being in a limbo where nothing feels real but the consequences do. 

She remembered her friends telling her to go as it looked dreadful but she told them to simply get lost if they didn't like it, then telling her youngest brother to just go home and tell mum that she'll be back soon. Then as pitch black settled in the sky, she remembers Ada Shelby approaching her, the fire building in intensity and height, and simply pulling her close. Hugging her. And (Y/n) broke. All the rage bubbling up became still and transformed to immense despair, tying her insides into knots and clouding everything. She felt cold despite the building heat of the flames that danced in the air. 

Ada rubbed circles in the older girls skin, soothing her slightly. Ada already missed her brothers dearly and couldn't imagine how (Y/n) was feeling. With the idea of marriage going from a realistic event to something that couldn't even be guaranteed, (Y/n) was going to have a few rough years ahead of her if she carried on the way she was. 

"Always the firebug, eh?" The nickname easily slipped out the younger girl's mouth. (Y/n)'s mouth slightly uplifted at the familiar nickname. (Y/n) had known the Shelby family ever since she was young with her being the same age as Tommy and seemingly clinging to the boy like glue it was inevitable she would grow attached to the rest of the family like they did to her in return. However, that doesn't mean that they were exempt from the surprise that was her impromptu fire starting but after knowing (Y/n) for a while to became easy for them to guess when a fire was upon them. And because of this, the nickname of firebug seemed to be obvious. 

The Shelby family remembers the day that (Y/n) started her first fire in the abandoned field. She was no older 6. Having grabbed a hold of a lighter from god knows where and gathering as many sticks as she could and setting them aflame. However, it also turns out that children don't know a lot about how lighters or how fast a fire can spread. So, (Y/n) accidently sprung the lighter to life again and burned her hand, dropping the lighter and setting the dead grass alight a long with it. And while (Y/n) couldn't stop the screams that escaped her she also couldn't stop the excitement she felt from seeing the flames lick at the ground. And coincidently, Tommy had gone looking for the girl as she had been gone for around an hour which wouldn't have been strange for other people their age, but (Y/n) wasn't normal. She practically wouldn't leave him be until the sunset and they were called to their respective houses, so her sudden absence was a little worrying for the young boy. And he ran as fast he could once he heard the familiar shriek he had grown to know in the short time he had known her. 

There she was, the lighter on the burning floor as she backed away from the flames that seemed to follow her until she bumped into someone. She was startled and feared being in trouble so she quickly turned around and seemed relived to find Tommy, her new best friend. She quickly hugged the shorter boy, "My hero! It's too bad I'm taller then you." Tommy rolled his eyes, "What is that!?" He nodded at the fire.

Despite her previous comment, (Y/n) suddenly felt quite small. The fear of losing her new friend gripped at her, making her small limbs lock up. "It doesn't matter ok! It's alwayyys rainy so it will be gone soon anyway, so stop being stupid." (Y/n) suddenly became defensive, gripping her burned hand but stopping once she remembered how much it hurt. And suddenly, (Y/n) began to cry as she realized it may not rain and she will in fact get in trouble and damn did her hand hurt. Tommy became alarmed at her sudden tears, and noticed her hand. "You don't need to cry! Can't your mum just help your hand." "But Tommy! What if it doesn't rain." Tommy was now confused he didn't see what the rain had to do with the burn on her hand. 

But that didn't matter either, as with seeming perfect timing, it began to rain. Heavily. This relieved the girl, seeming to not care about her injury anymore. Tommy however, did still care and insisted on walking her to her house despite his house being on the other end of the street. This then lead to (Y/n) having a bandage on her hand and Tommy having a cold for a week. It was then that the Shelby's and (L/n)'s knew it wouldn't be the last time something like that happened. 

One incident that not everyone knew about was yet another fire that was caused by (Y/n) at around 15. She had once again decided she wanted fire but this time Tommy was by her side, holding a box of broken items. Some of them belonging to the pair some it being something neither of them seemed to fully recognize. "You can't keep at this you know, someone will catch you one day and doubt they will forgive you so easily." Tommy said, his voice even, he wasn't mad at her. He just knew of what may happen if she is caught by someone other then him or his brothers. (Y/n) nodded as the fire sprung to life, and gestured for Tommy to throw the box in. Wordlessly, Tommy threw it in.

However, due to the density of some of the times, not everything in the box was catching fire. So carefully, Tommy began to kick the box trying to make it catch. But he didn't seem to see that it worked and that the flames were growing. (Y/n) panicking, pulled Tommy back and watched as the fire grew right where he was previously. Tommy looked down at her in gratitude as she looked away, as although she would never say it aloud she had been harboring feelings for Tommy for some time now. And before she could say anything, Tommy said, "My hero! too bad I'm taller then you." A grin tugging at his lips as he saw (Y/n) begin to laugh in disbelief at the vaguely familiar statement. "Thomas Shelby! you tosser." She gently pushed him, laughing lightly.  

"Well there goes all my troubles on the burning pile." (Y/n) said smiling, as Tommy wrapped his arm around her shoulder, tugging her body towards his. "And if you catch fire?" Tommy asked, despite the statement being extremely hypocritical from him because of what had just had happened. "Then I'll change my aim and throw my woes at the world instead." (Y/n) said gazing into the flames in front of her. "I wouldn't expect anything less." Silence followed Tommy's statement. It was comforting, as the cool summers evening began to start its slow conclusion, the warmth of the fire fought any possible cold breeze and the two teenagers stayed close and unaware the other was trying to ignore their feelings. 

However, it seems that their feelings were too much to simply move aside as that very night the pair confessed, much to their friends and families' relief. 

(Y/n) was pulled out of her reminiscent daze when Ada asked, "What are you burning?" "My troubles." Ada seemed to understand the vague statement. "I assume soon you'll be burning letters that "aren't quite right" soon?" Ada asked a light teasing tone in her voice in a hope to lighten the mood. It seemed to work as (Y/n) replied, "And you expected anything less?" Ada lightly shook her head as she smiled at the woman she'd grown to see as a sister. "He'll be back one day (Y/n)" "Well I sure hope so the tosser still has to make me his wife." 

The two young women laughed, still worried for the future but feeling better then they did before. 

[leggyorlandomiddleearth]

Marry Me (Legolas)

Warnings: Mentions of death and is depressing so if you don't wanna cry, SKIP THIS-

Requested by habbits_of_hobbits on Wattpad.

Alethia (I'M SORRY BUT I LOVE THAT NAME SO MUCH) is Legolas' best friend. I don't wanna say anything else.

Italic words mean they're speaking in ELVISH. I was too lazy to search up the elvish words so-

TOO BAD-

Also it's not EXACTLY what you asked but I couldn't resist XD

ONE-SHOT BECAUSE I SERIOUSLY COULDN'T DO ANYTHING ELSE-

__________________________________________________________

Legolas'(s?) P.O.V.

"Lathia, you and your group will search this half of the village and the rest come with me," I ordered.

My heart was pounding. I hope she was okay. Her house was burned and I didn't see her anywhere. We had gathered as many villagers as we could from the burning village. Orcs had come to this village and killed many people. We had gotten there 10 minutes after they attacked.

Most of the village was on fire, and only 3/4 of the villagers remained. My heart hurt as I saw families hug their loved ones, not breathing, but separated. Sent to another world. Most of the dead were parents. What would happen to all these kids who had lost their parents, I did not want to know. I just hoped they would find comfort.

"Let's go!" I commanded. I urged my horse forward. We split up to search our own sides.

"Find anyone who is still alive and needs help. Get them to the makeshift medical station immediatly." I say. I urge my horse to gallop towards her house. Everything was burnt except for the safe I had given her for her begetting day. (Birthday)

I jump off my horse and go to the safe. Entering the password, I open it. There were many things in there, including the wolf I had whittled her. I smile at that memory.

(This is a memory now)

"SURPRISE!" I yell while jumping out of my hiding place and hugging her.

She squeals. "Legolas! Don't scare me like that again! I might have thrown this whittling knife at you!"

I look at the deformed block of whittling wood in her hand as I let go of her. "What is that?" I ask, making fun of the block of wood.

She huffs out a breath. "It's supposed to be a wolf. Ada had taught me how to whittle when I was three. I'm TRYING to remember..." she says, sadly. Her father had died in a war to protect Mirkwood.

"Hmmm... Maybe I can do that for you!" I say.

Her eyes widen. "Really?! You'd whittle a wolf for me?!" she asks excitedly.

I grin. "Of course! After all, today's your birthday, silly!" I laugh.

The afternoon was spent whittling the wolf I gave to her for her birthday. She loved it.

(Memory ends)

I also saw the little tools she used to pick locks and the tiny whittled creatures her father had given her. But I saw something new. I picked up a letter.

Legolas,

I promised that I wouldn't get sad that I left Mirkwood, but I couldn't help it. You're my best friend and I couldn't bear not seeing you. If you can, meet me in the gardens.

XOXO,

Your best friend <3

That's where she must be.

I jump onto my horse and gallop towards the gardens. There's a piece of paper hanging from a string attatched to the tree. I get off my horse and turn the paper around to look at what's written.

Doing great Leggy! Keep walking forward!

I smile at the mention of my nickname. Walking forward, I see lights hung up and another piece of paper.

I love your smile! Keep smiling for me!

I laugh. Of course she'd say that.

Walking forward, there's another paper.

ALMOST there!

I walk, then decide to run excitedly. I see lights! Not JUST lights, but candle lights! A scent fills my nose. There's peppermint, which is how Alethia smells like, and...

No. It can't be. Orc blood-mixed with...

Elven blood.

I dash into the clearing as fast as I can. I slow down as I see corpse upon corpse of orcs layed about the path, each having a slice at their throat, the signature mark of her dagger.

Then, I see her. She looked beautiful. Her blue hair was in an updo and she was wearing a green flowy dress. The only thing that wasn't perfect was the sword sticking out of her stomach.

"ALETHIA!" I cry out, rushing to her and falling to my knees. I cradle her head in my lap.

"Legolas," she whimpers, looking up at me. I lay her head back down.

"Shh, don't move, Alethia." I say, trying to soothe her, and in the process, myself.

"Legolas, I'm not going to make it," she gasps out.

"No, you will, I'll make sure of it."

"Legolas, look at me," she says, cupping my face to look at hers.

"I brought you here so I could tell you something," she says, looking at me for permission to continue. I nod.

"Legolas, do you know how crazy you are? With your flawless hair and charming smile?" she asks. I smile.

"You were always there for me, pulling me up when I needed it the most. I thank you for that. And I'm sorry I didn't have the time to tell you that I-I-I love you," she says, shaking due to coughing fits.

"I love you, Legolas. I love your good, your bad, and everything in between. I love your kindness, your happiness, and how much you care about EVERYTHING and EVERYONE. I love how stubborn you are and how you will stand up for what you believe in, no matter what. So, I have one last question," she pauses to grab a box.

She opens the box and tears fall out of my eyes. "Will you be mine?"

Inside is a ring with a golden band and a greenleaf on top of it. "Yes," I say.

She smiles and leans in to kiss me. I kiss her, but I don't feel her kiss back. I pull back in confusion. Her hand was limp but her eyes were closed and she had the beautiful smile on her face.

"Alethia," I whisper.

"Alethia," I say more urgently.

I check for her pulse...

None. There's none. I... lost her...

I let out a cry. "Alethia! Please, love! Come back to me! I NEED YOU! I love you!" I scream desperately.

I grasp her hand and kiss it many times. "I love you, PLEASE come back," I repeat it over and over again and again.

Hours pass and my voice is hoarse, but the tears haven't stopped.

King Thranduil rushes into the clearing. "Legolas," he breathes out, looking at the scene.

He kneels down and puts a hand on my shoulder.

"I loved her," I whisper. "But they took her."

Thranduil smiles sadly. I take the box and slip on the ring. It fits perfectly. I lift her limp body and carry it to where we would bury her.

Ever since we buried her, I would bring her strawberries, her favorite food. I would sit there and talk to her, hoping that she would come back to me.

I missed her. I loved her. She was my everything. My Alethia was taken from me... and it was unforgivable.

____________________________________________

Y'ALL HAVE NO IDEA HOW MANY TIMES I CRIED WHILE WRITING THIS-

OK I'M SORRY BUT NOW HERE ARE SOME GIFTS-

IDK IF ALREADY DID THAT

AAAAAAAAAND GOOD BYE

[nineteenninety-six]

Crooner

REQUEST:  Hi! I love your writing and I have a little request since I’m in quarantine and so down and bored. I don’t know if you’ll be able to do it but here it goes! Pairing Tommy Shelby x reader, they were together for a while but they split bc Tommy is focused in work and the f!reader (or OC) is tired of Tommy’s cheating so she goes to London and stays with Ada and there she meets a crooner (Alex Turner it’s in my head haha) and Tommy is searching for him bc is an important communist and +  + and when Tommy finds him the reader is flirting with him so Tommy goes to Ada’s to tell her about the crooner. The reader comes back to Ada’s and starts telling her about the crooner how handsome and awesome he is etc even though Ada tries to stop her and Tommy hears until he is so pissed off that he comes where they are and idk how it ends between Tommy and reader actually haha bad prompt I know but maybe you could use the idea. Thanks, I’ll keep reading and I hope you’re okay! 💖

I know this is bad but I really struggled with it and I’m p sure, it’s been in my inbox for like 2 months and it needed it to be done and I’m not going to do a 2nd part, it was hard enough to do this one.

I’ve been watching NCIS on Netflix recently and I never realised how funny it was lmao

“You’re not serious.” Tommy gaped

“I am.”

Tommy stared at the woman in front of him in shock. After several years together, (Y/N) had decided to end the relationship, she had reached her limit of lonely night after lonely night along with Tommy’s lack of presence, in general, made her realise that their relationship was very one-sided with her being the only one who made an effort, not to mention her suspicions of him cheating.

“Why?”

“Why?” (Y/N) scoffed, “You’re not that clueless, are you?”

“(Y/N)--”

“Tommy, you are practically married to your work!”  

“Without my work, we wouldn’t be where we are!”

“That’s not what I’m saying, Tommy!” (Y/N) bit back

“Then, what are you saying?!”

“There’s a difference between being invested in your work and being so involved that you start to push the people around you away!”

Like every conversation they’ve had over the past month, it descended into a shouting match. It was another reason which prompted (Y/N) to leave, the fact that they couldn’t even have a conversation that didn’t end with one of them storming out in anger was a problem.

“Where are you going?” Tommy asked with a resigned sigh.

“London. I’m going to stay with Ada.” 

“Alright.” Tommy nodded at her before turning around and leaving the room.

(Y/N) rolled her eyes at his overdramatic behaviour before picking up her bags and leaving the house. She wanted to leave Small Heath as soon as possible.

-----------------------------------------

(Y/N) had settled into London nicely, Ada had gotten her a job at the library and she hadn’t seen nor heard of Tommy since she had left Birmingham. She knew that Ada kept in contact him with him but the other woman had thankfully never brought his name up.

Ada decided to take her to a small club one evening, for a girls night out. The club was full but not packed and on that particular evening, there was a band performing who’s singer sparked something in her. As soon as he began singing, she was starstruck, her eyes never left him and her mouth was slightly agape, it didn’t help that he had noticed her gaze and threw her smirks, winks as he was performing. The man was handsome, with his dark hair and dark coloured eyes, he had a certain allure to him. 

Ada watched in amusement as her friend watched the band with rapt attention until they finished their set and it was only then was she able to snap out of her daze.

“Wow…”

Ada giggled, “You see something you like?”

“Ada!” (Y/N) shrieked, “It’s not like that.”

Ada continued to laugh, not believing her words before she abruptly stopped, her eyes going wide once she spotted something behind (Y/N), who didn’t notice Ada’s sudden silence.

“Hi…” The person behind (Y/N) whispered, causing the woman to gasp and turn around in shock.

“Hi…” (Y/N) whispered back, eyes wide.

“I’m Alex.” He grinned and stuck out his hand for her to shake, “I saw you from the stage. Did you like the songs?”

“(Y/N).” She shook his hand, “Yeah, I thought they were great.”

Alex smiled at her causing a rush of heat to flood to her cheeks. He was as charming as he was handsome.

“Would you like to go out together sometime?”

“I-I uh...sure! Absolutely.” (Y/N) stuttered.

“Heard of ‘The Ivy’?” 

(Y/N) nodded.

“How does Wednesday at five sound?” Alex asked.

“Sounds great.” (Y/N) smiled at Alex.

“Great.” With one last smile and wink, Alex left the women.

Once she was sure he was out of hearing distance, (Y/N) squealed with Ada, unable to believe what just happened.

“Holy shit..” (Y/N) breathed.

“You’re telling me.” Ada sighs

Wednesday came quicker than (Y/N) expected and before she knew it, she was stood in front of a mirror, looking over of her outfit one last time before she had to leave and after a thumbs up and a wish of good luck for Ada, she was off to The Ivy.

The more time (Y/N) spent with Alex, the more she fell for him. He was gorgeous, charming, and a gentleman, she was falling hard and she couldn’t find it in herself to care. Alex was also safe, he wasn’t involved in any gangs or bad business as far as she knew, and it was the complete opposite of Tommy.

While (Y/N) was on her date, Tommy had travelled down to London to meet with Ada, he knew she still had communist ties even though Freddie had died and he needed her help with tracking down someone in particular.

“I need contact with your communist friends Ada.” Tommy pushed past his sister and walked into his house.

“They’re not my friends, Tommy.” Ada rolled her eyes.

“Right, you call them comrades don’t you?” Tommy sarcastically said.

“Tommy.” Ada wasn’t in the mood to deal with Tommy and his attitude.

Tommy pulled a photo out of his pocket and showed to Ada, “His name is Alex Turner and I need him.”

Ada blinked in shock at the photo that laid before her, it was the man from Saturday, the one who (Y/N) was currently on a date with and she was most definitely not going to tell Tommy anything about him.

“I’ve never seen him or heard of him,” Ada said nonchalantly.

Tommy huffs, “That’s why I want you to contact your friends Ada.”

“If it’s so important Tommy, then you can contact them yourself.”

Then opened his mouth to bite back but was interrupted but the front door opening and you voice ringing loudly through the house.

“Ada! Ada! Oh my god, Alex is so perfect and we’re going on a second date on Saturday.” (Y/N) gushed as she walked through the house, trying to find her friend.

Ada quickly motioned her brother into the kitchen before she rushed out to meet her friend.

“(Y/N)!” Ada met her friend in the hallway just before the kitchen and quickly turned her around and dragged her to the living room, “A second date already? You must seriously like him.”

“I do. He’s such a breath of fresh air.” (Y/N) confessed, “It’s so peaceful compared to Tommy.”

Tommy had overheard everything in the Kitchen and he lost his patience at what heard and stormed into the living room, surprising the women who sat there,

“One month and you’ve already moved on?” Tommy scoffed as he stopped in front of them.

“Tommy? What are you doing here?” (Y/N) stood up, confused

“Can’t I visit my sister?” Tommy sarcastically ask

“You know that not what I meant!” (Y/N) huffed, already frustrated with him.

“Who are you going out with?” Tommy changed the conversation back to the original topic.

“It’s none of your business. God, it’s times like these that I’m really grateful that I’m no longer with you. You’re a controlling freak!” With one last glare, (Y/N) stormed out of the room.

Tommy turned to his sister and raised his eyebrows but she merely shrugged, not wanting to get involved but she did believe, (Y/N) had a point,  Tommy had a tendency to be ‘too much’.

Tommy huffed at his sister’s lack of reaction and left the house in a strop, too angry to remember the original reason why he came to Ada’s in the first place. 

[merakiaes]

See You On The Other Side - John Shelby

Pairing: John Shelby x reader

Requested: No.

Prompts: None. 

Warnings/notes: A bit of angst maybe? Idk hahah. This is something I had lying around in my drafts. I haven’t been able to do any requests today because I’ve been busy with my family, and I’ve also had a migraine sooo yeah, this is the best I can do today xD Not read through, but I hope you like it xx

Wordcount: 1982

Summary: A letter to John. 

I remember the first time I looked into your eyes and felt my entire world flip, the first time I saw you smile, and knew that I was in trouble.

I had been across the room, tangled up in my own imagination, when came up to me. By the time you had said hello, we had already spent a lifetime together, and from the moment we started talking I knew that I wanted you around.

I knew right away that you were it for me. There were no reservations or second thoughts, I saw you and in an instant knew in my bones, my soul had known your soul lifetimes ago.

I had never experienced such a true and genuine state of happiness until I met you. Every day, I woke up with a smile on my lips, wondering what trouble you were going to get us into today.

I was there for all of it, the countless of scoldings from Arthur, the cuffs around the back of our heads from Pol and running from the coppers whenever you thought it wise to steal me a bouquet of flowers from old Anderson’s flower shop.

It’s those memories I treasure the most. The times we would go on midnight walks, kiss under the starry sky or in front of the fire, and wake up in each other’s arms would leave my chest and stomach fluttering with butterflies, too.

But it was when you were up to no good that you were truly yourself. Truly free. If only you knew how much those little moments with you mattered to me, how treasured they are.

It’s two in the morning when I write this. I can’t sleep, because I miss you so much. I miss you so much it physically pains me, just like I did last night, and just like I will tomorrow when I wake up without you. Again.

Polly, your brothers, and the kids help me through it. God, you should see them, John. They’re growing so much, so fast, and they look more and more like you for every day that passes.

Every time I look into their eyes, it both pains me and makes me feel all warm inside. They’ve got your eyes, all of them. Your deep, sparkling Shelby blue eyes. The very same ones I fell for.

They miss you, too, but they’re doing good. Better than me, at least. I guess it’s because they’re not really old enough to know what’s going on.

Katie and Harry understand the situation for what it is, but they’re still too young to really be able to grasp the seriousness of it. And Isabelle, Mia, Eric, Noah and Nick don’t understand it at all.

They don’t understand why you’re not coming home at night, why you’re not there to help them get ready in the mornings.

And even though I know it’s wrong of me to keep them in the dark, I can’t bring myself to tell them the truth when they come home from school every day with notes and drawings for you. It would break their little hearts and I can’t bear the thought of them feeling like this.

Katie and Harry write you letters, to back up my lies and make them more believable for the others, and all of it has just been piling up at the back of the wardrobe, stored away behind your clothes behind the loose wooden panel where you used to hide the cigars you told me you quit countless of times.

I bet you didn’t know I knew about that, huh?

The truth is, I always knew. I could smell it on your clothes and hands every night when you came home, no matter how much you tried to hide it with soap and cologne. That, and Harry came and told me the second he had caught you and you had made him promise not to tell me.

He truly is a mommy’s boy at heart. I always tried telling you.

But Katie was your girl.  Everyone misses you, but she’s taken it the hardest.

I gave her the locket you gave me for our two year anniversary. The one with the picture of you and me on our wedding day. The only time she takes it off is when she sleeps, but even then, she never lets go of it.

She stopped wetting the bed, though, and she’s doing great in school. Harry, Isabelle, Mia, and Eric are, too, and all of them like math the best, just like you did.

Nick just learned how to write his name. He writes the ‘K’ backward, but he still learned earlier than the others. I’ve been teaching him a few short words myself, and I’ve started to teach Finn how to read.

He misses you really much. He blames himself. I don’t know why. He had nothing to do with what happened. But then again, I guess there’s no logic in grief.

He’s grown up a lot, both mentally and physically. He’s taller than all of your brothers now, and he’s added some muscle by boxing. But he’s still the same, sweet boy he was when you left.

He tries to be hard, though. He drinks, smokes, fights, takes drugs, and he’s been seeing prostitutes and taking on a much bigger part in the Peaky Blinders.

God, he tries so hard to be you. But every time he even comes close, he breaks down again, and every time that happens, he comes here.

He’s been staying over at our house more often than he’s home this past year, but I’m not complaining. He helps out around the house, keeps his cousins happy and occupied while I get the things I need to do done, and in return, he gives me something else to think about.

Polly says he feels your presence through me and the kids. She tells me they all do.

They’ve all been coming around for dinner every Sunday, and I have to sit in your chair every time. It makes me dizzy because I feel your presence stronger there than anywhere else. But I have no choice because Noah starts crying if anyone else even comes near it.

Those dinners are the only time during the weeks that I’m able to get my thoughts off of you, but it doesn’t last forever.

The minute they’re gone and the kids are asleep, I’m alone again, and being alone was never this hard before I met you.

Ada’s been trying to set me up with other men, but I can’t even bring myself to imagine giving my heart away to someone else.

I know that, when we thought you were going to be hanged for blowing up the train, you said that you wanted me to move on and be happy when you were gone.

I know that was your last request. Your dying wish. But I just can’t honor it.

When it comes down to it, you’re the only one I want. You’re the only one I can imagine myself with. Your hands are the only hands I want to hold, your lips are the only lips I ever want to kiss. You’re the only one I think about when a love song comes on the radio and the very last thought running through my head before I drift off to sleep. You’re the absolute only person I could ever see myself happy with.

I won’t ever be able to move on from you, because no amount of time, distance, nothing could separate us. Because I know that we were right, that we were real, that you’ll be waiting for me among the stars, and that I’ll come to find you again when I’m ready.

I just want to go back. To the time before it was too late.

There were a million things I wanted to say to you, but goodbye was not one of them. But even a million words will not bring you back, and neither will a million tears. I know because I’ve tried and I’ve cried. God knows I’ve cried.

I think of you every night before I fall asleep. The words you said. The way you looked. The things we laughed about, the silent moments we shared. And when I dream, I dream of you. Because it’s about you, it’s always about you.

I wish I could see you one more time, see you come walking through the door, so that I can say goodbye the way that I wanted. But I know that’s impossible because I realize if I got my way, I’d never say goodbye at all.

Today is the three year anniversary of the day that I lost you. And for a time it felt as though my life had ended too.

But the loss of you has taught me many things and now I face each day with hope and happy memories to help me on my way. And even though I’m full of sadness that you’re no longer by my side, your influence still guides me and I still feel you near.

I found a picture of you that I hadn’t seen in a while yesterday. I held it in my hands, lost for a moment in your smile.

It made me cry, but for the first time, not out of sadness. I cried from happiness because I knew that wherever you are now, I know in my heart that you’re still laughing and smiling like it’s your last day alive.

Rather than grieving that what we once had is now gone, I realize how truly lucky I am to have had something that makes saying goodbye this hard, and I smiled through my tears. A genuine smile, as I thanked God for the memories you’ve given us.

What we shared will never die. It lives within my heart, bringing me strength and comfort while we are apart. And I know that we will one day be together again.

I hope that you can see me, see us, and know that you’ll never be forgotten, that we’ll hold on until the day we get to see you again. Because there’s no one like you, John Shelby, and there will never be another that we can love like we did you.

I love you. It will only ever be you. As long as I live, as long as I breathe, with every beat of my heart, I will be yours and yours only, because you’re my forever. Forever my forever.

Yours truly, (Y/N).

You felt the warm, salty tears sting your eyes as you gazed upon the letters engraved into the gray, smooth stone; seventeen letters that built the name of the man who had changed your life forever.

Your legs were aching from having crouched down for so long, but you couldn’t be bothered to care, the violent thudding of your heart and the flurry of thoughts running through your brain pushing away everything else.

When a careful hand clasped down on your shoulder from behind, you flinched, the light touch bringing you back to reality and forcing you to blink the tears of your eyes.

“It’s time to say goodbye, love.” Polly spoke from behind you in a soft, careful tone, giving your shoulder another squeeze.

You swallowed, giving the stone another long look before finally pushing yourself back up into your full height.

Sniffling, you reached down and shakily put the flowers in front of the stone, tucking the letter you had written only hours before behind them to shield it from the rain.

Straightening yourself up, you shook your head. “No. It’s not goodbye. It’ll never be goodbye. It’s simply a ‘see you later’.” You said and finally smiled, because you knew deep in your heart, that you would see him at the other side of the stars.

[amostimprobabledream]

My thoughts on Peaky Blinders...

Now I’ve finished Season Five, I wanted to get out my thoughts/ideas/opinions regarding the show. So strap in! - So first of all, the fucking cinematopgraphy in this series is gorgeous. You could take almost any scene and it looks like a painting. The lighting, the way it’s staged, it’s all just so visually pleasing to look at. My inner film student was just sighing dreamily at the shot composition. There’s a shot of John, Arthur and Tommy walking somewhere and you could fucking frame it and put it in your wall. - CILLIAN MURPHY, CILLIAN MURPHY, CILLIAN MURPHY. I mean, I always knew he was a good actor and also a pretty one, I think the role I remember him best in is Batman Begins, but holy shit, I never realised how hot he is until like two months ago. I know he apparently hates his Tommy haircut, but good lord, he can pull it off. The cheekbones! The eyes! The eyelashes! The sexy voice! Needless to say I saw him and immediately developed the biggest fucking crush. Apparently when I talk about Tommy to people my face goes pink. Thank you so much, show, for enlightening me to this human. Tommy is such a fantastic character, and I do wonder if another actor could pull him off quite as well. So much debate over his actions, motives, mindset, etc. I could probably write essays about the complexities of Tommy, but I won’t because this is a long-ass post anyway. He’s such a boss and I would die for him. - I actually really like Arthur??? So the very first clip of PB I ever saw was accidental, when I happened to turn the TV on and the Blinders were taking over the Eden Club and Arthur was glassing a guy in the face. I thought, “Oh, he’s probably like the dangerous thug character everyone is scared of.” (I didn’t know he’s Tommy’s brother at the time.) But actually he’s kind of endearing despite being the Shelby’s pitbull? Idk, the concept of the “failure” elder brother, how Arthur is the character the verbalises PTSD the most out of everyone, how one minute he can be lashing out like a rabid bear and then sobbing like a kid the next... I’m always like, “Oh, Arthur,” because you can see he wants to be a better person, but he just...doesn’t know how. - JOOOHN. I miss him! And it’s weird because in the early parts of the Season John doesn’t DO much but tag around after Tommy and Arthur, but his marriage to Esme is actually So Good and again, he’s actually kind of a softboi under the hard gangster act. (Also his “Do THIS, John, Do THAT, John, KILL YOUR FOOKIN’ TEACHER, JOHN!” is so fucking good.) He kind of provides a lightness when contrasted to Tommy and Arthur that I really do miss, because the last two Seasons have been very grim and I think John’s absence has something to do with it. I liked Esme too, even if she’s a stroppy bitch, her love for John but resentment of her role in the family and also she’s HELLA PRETTY. I’m sad her character has gone for now, but at least she wasn’t killed off. - I also love Ada a lot - I was really shocked when I read that Sophie Rundle hasn’t been acting all that long before she got the part in PB, because honestly she’s very good! And her concept again is a fun one - the only girl in a family of violent gangster boys. (Or as Freddy puts it, “The only princess”, which she is.) Having said that, I’m not sure how I feel about Ada’s character arc over the course of the season. In One she came off as kind of childish and still sort of stuck in her Rebellious Teen phase, then she became a mother and Freddie died, then in Season Two she’s trying to distance herself from the family and go legit, then in Season Four and Five she’s helping run the business and taking money from Tommy. Idk, I wish she’d play a more major role like her brothers because her motivations seem to change based on what the screenwriter wants, not what feels natural for her. Plus it annoys me that Ada blamed Ben Younger’s death on Tommy, but Tommy gets a lot of blame for things that aren’t his fault so I guess he’s used to it. Still, Ada is still a lot of fun when she does get to play a big role and gets some great lines later on. “Tommy Shelby is going to stop a revolution with his cock.” - POLLY, MY QUEEN! Easily the best woman on the show (sorry, Ada) and such a fucking badass. She’s definitely the voice of reason within the family and conflicting loyalty is a really interesting theme that gets explored with her, between her arguing nephews and niece, between her family or whether she wants to marry again and leave, her relationship with Michael, it’s all so great. Helen McRory is such a brilliant addition to the show. Also I love that Polly kinda represents women taking over after all the men went away to war and now they’re back, but the women aren’t just going to creep back into the house - World War One changed the workplace forever for women and I think Polly being the second in command after Tommy reflects that really well. - I think overall my favourite seasons have been Seasons One, Two and Four, I tend to find I get a bit bored in Peaky Blinders whenever it gets especially heavy on politics like in Season Three and Five and I admittedly kind of miss the simplicity of the early days of the show when it was about horse-racing, but the Changretta vs Shelby feud was genuinely really gripping and Adrien Brody was also Very Good. (I mean, I couldn’t take him seriously because of Brodyquest, but I like him a lot.) - I HATE GRACE. There, I said it. And honestly I have SO MUCH to say on why I hate her and also why I think she is the epitome of bad writing that has happened on this show that I might as well save it for a whole nother post, but Tommy and Grace’s relationship always felt so unnatural and forced to me, like they are in love because the screenwriter said so - Grace is the only woman Tommy knows who isn’t related to him and also because it pisses off Campbell. Like, she was tolerable if highly irritating in Season One, but then Two came along and she just got worse and worse. She’s annoyingly convinced she’s better than everyone else, pulls off a LOT of questionable shit that NO-ONE except Polly ever pulls her up on and Tommy repeatedly pining over a woman who lied to him and betrayed him makes no goddamn sense. I wish Stephen Knight would just let him get over her, because her showing up over and over again in the show after the bitch died two Seasons ago is so infuriating I want to throw my remote at the TV. The best bit of Season Three was someone finally putting a bullet in her, honestly. /rant - On that note, I really wish that they’d use May properly. She was introduced in Season Two and honestly her chemistry with Tommy is about a thousand times more believable than anything he had with Guuuhrayce and also May doesn’t consistently talk in that annoying, breathy voice and also she doesn’t shamelessly manipulate Tommy constantly. It’s too bad Stephen Knight couldn’t get Charlotte Riley back for Season Three owing to her pregnancy, because I think the trajectory of the show would have been very different. But her scene where she spoke about her husband and tried to hide that she was crying? So good. The fucking Face Tommy gives her when she asks for a mixer in her gin? Priceless. Agh - May’s been chronically underused in the show but she keeps getting mentioned every now and then, so I’m hoping there are plans for her to come back in Season Six. I really like her and I honestly think Tommy/May has been the best relationship he’s had, because it’s the only one that’s felt A) Natural and B) Equal. - Lizzie Stark. Okay, so I have mixed feelings about Lizzie. I liked her in Seasons One and Two, because she was this down-on-her-luck woman who was treated like crap by everyone, but she wasn’t wholly without her own flaws or personality - she did lie to John and Tommy did act in his brother’s best interests to tell him the truth. The scenes she had with Tommy in Season Two when he promotes her to his secretary were honestly very cute and my heart broke for her when that solider nearly (?) raped her in Season Two and she cried in John’s arms. But over time she’s started to irritate me. I know that people feel bad for her because Tommy honestly does treat her badly at times, though other times she’s also one of the few people he’s nice to, their relationship is complicated. But truthfully I don’t see Tommy/Lizzie every working out properly because Lizzie was a whore. She’s always been Tommy’s inferior and while I do think he cares for her, she never seems to think it’s enough. He doesn’t love her enough and she’s never satisfied with it and she’s always resentful of him. But you can’t FORCE someone to love you and it’s interesting that the minute she learned she was pregnant, you could see her thinking of how to make this work. She pulled the Baby Trap on him just like Grace did and got married like she wanted, but Tommy still doesn’t truly see her as his equal. And honestly, I don’t think she’s smart enough for him. Add that to Lizzie being EXTREMELY petty to other women (including her being really rude to May and slut-shaming her - bit rich from you, isn’t it, Lizzie?), and I don’t think they have a healthy relationship. I do like little Ruby a lot (way more than Charles, who is a spoiled brat because he’s Grace’s son and has a martyred dead mummy), but honestly I don’t see Tommy/Lizzie working out. I just hope that she doesn’t leave and take Ruby, I think it’d break Tommy to have his daughter taken away from him. - Alfie Solomons. So...I have to confess I have mixed feelings about Alfie. I liked him in Season Two because he’s batshit crazy, Tom Hardy is clearly having the time of his life and it’s refreshing to have a rival to Tommy who isn’t cartoonishly evil like Billy Kimber or Sabini. He ties into Season Two very well and yeah, I can see why he’s so popular. Also he’s pretty attractive, so that always helps. But. Alfie is starting to come across a bit like a creator’s pet to me. He consistently betrays Tommy every goddamn Season and while I know the fandom love to joke about this, it’s pretty inexplicable that Tommy would bother to continue to do business with him after being burned so many times and now it turns out he’s alive. Why? Why bring Alfie back? I feel like he was brought back because he’s a fan favourite and to add another suspect to who betrayed Tommy. I don’t hate Alfie at all, but I am starting to wish he’d face actual consequences for his actions, considering every Peaky Blinders character who fucks with the Peaky Blinders tend to suffer horribly for it, but not Alfie...for some reason. - Michael. Okay so Michael’s actor is pretty damn good and I thought it was cute that he and John’s actors are actually brother irl - you can see the resemblance. And honestly bringing back Polly’s missing kids was a really clever idea because there’s a family tie, but one that isn’t so strong you can always be sure of where his loyalties lie. His subplot with Father Hughes in Season Three was both very sad and very well done - I was cheering him on the whole way. But Season Five has made my opinion of Michael take a dramatic nosedive. He’s gone from sorta-sympathetic to an entitled brat almost overnight. I get he’s probably salty about being banished to America by Tommy in Season Four, but where has this sudden desire to rule the company come from? How did he meet Gina? Is he lying about Gina being pregnant because he figured it’d win him sympathy? I don’t know. He’s changed so drastically, and when Polly gave him that slap, I think she was doing what everyone wanted to. It’s too bad they just wrote Anna off as being dead, though, Michael having a sister and Polly a daughter would have been interesting. - The music?? Is so good?? I love it! Especially the themesong, obviously, but so much of it is always ON POINT. It makes me wanna buy the entire soundtrack. - Unpopular opinion, but I think Campbell was the best antagonist of the show, mainly because he was a vile person but still believable and had the best dynamic with Tommy.  - Season Five was honestly kind of hit-and-miss for me, it seemed like a lot of people are pissed at Tommy for fairly silly reasons in the beginning and I just didn’t find the political subplot all that interesting...but I still will definitely tune into Season Six. (Also these are all just opinions, so please don’t send me hate if you don’t like something I’ve said. Ain’t nobody got time for that.)

[changji]

Here we go I’m finally continuing our convo from like,, last week LOL but anyway 4-5k for an apartment I’m HOLLERING (yes i did it so you’d laugh) I’ve never lived in an apartment before but I’m pretty sure that’s really expensive for one sksks. Also personal chromebooks? My school literally can’t relate we share them with the rest of the students in the school. Tbh I don’t remember much from twilight so I’ll agree w you so that we don’t fight 🥺🥺

I normally go ham when I’m in a pool,, like I’ll start off w my hair up bc I don’t wanna get it wet but when I leave the pool everywhere is soaked. I haven’t played chicken in years?? Oml last time I played I was on my cousins shoulders and I was Puny. Haha most ppl are like “it can’t be that cold here right” and I’m “oh no it gets COLD” which I hate (but it’s colder in the territories so I’m thankful for where I’m at)

I’d rather it be hotter than colder bc at least there’s ac. I mean there’s heat but at least I can still walk outside without snow and ice everywhere. Don’t even get me started on freezing rain and winter tires and shovelling snow and OEUFIHD as you can see I hate the winter here. Tim hortons is so good I literally inhale iced capps 24/7. They’re pretty much blended frozen coffee but it tastes a lot better than it sounds!! I like to think of it as the Canadian pride and joy

I’ve actually never had timmies canned coffee… i’ve had the keurig pods things but they don’t taste as good as getting them from an actual timmies. But hey you never know maybe we will drink from ice bergs one day LOL. I’ll never back out from being your soulmate we’re literally meant To Be 😤😤 iced blonde vanilla lattes are so Good I’d probably inhale them as much as I do with iced capps if they weren’t so expensive

I didn’t even know that milk was a good portion of the drink,, when I saw a starbucks barista fill my cup with 80% milk I was like “hold up what” Your smoothies must be really good if your family specifically wake you up so that you can make them some hhh baker arella? More like smoothie expert arella. i usually make smoothies with whatever works and is in my fridge, but mango will always have my heart

People who eat pancakes plain should be banned from the world that’s disgusting,, you’re literally eating cooked flour,,,,,, I actually haven’t had waffles in 4 years oopsFrench is a mandatory course in grade 9 where I live but then after that you can choose if you wanna continue it or not. ASL classes seem so cool, I would totally take it if it were an option here. German & Japanese seem so hard; I look at the words and here ppl speaking it and I’m like ??? woah okay what’s happening

I’m terrible at English too, but then again I suck at every language? Is that even possible?? Jisung’s literally talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular skskdkf I am a Chan stan but Jisung wrecks me SO hard I can’t with this man. Pls don’t hurt my head too much with the fic I only have one braincell left bit ilyt 🥺 now I wanna try peet’s but I’m probably not going to the US for a hot minute 😔😔

(AJSDHJF I HIT THE LIMIT OF ASKS IM CRYINF) I saw what happened with ur Jisung drawing and I feel your frustration?? I was drawing a photo for an English presentation on photoshop and instead of closing my reference photo tab I closed the drawing (and i didn’t save it beforehand) so I lost the entire thing. Just thinking about it again makes me So Mad like,, how dumb can I be I literally can’t believe I did that!!

School sucks the life outta me I’m dreading going back and school starts in a little over a month? Fav vampire fic PLS I’m honoured. We fr out here as coffee soulmates look at us go 🤧👊

-

it’s so expensive like. whomst. I LOVE IT WHEN PPL SAY HOLLERING ITS SO FUNNY (ur so cute ily). living in an apartment is just Constant Stress esp bc i always accidentally slam a door open and make a hole in the wall and we have to pay but like i never learn LOL. the chrome books suck tho 😪 i would never fight w u LOL but i love twilight hhhh

today i just learned what “go ham” means like. i never knew. idk if i’m uncultured or ur weird (BUT ACCORDING TO CHAN WEIRS IS GOOD AND HES RIGHT.) i hate swimming sksks i burn easily and im Not here for it. i see why u would prefer the heat esp w snow, but i don’t have snow so i like winter LOL. i feel like i would die if i had to shovel snow like. i tried gardening and i gave up in .2 seconds. it was tough.

ooh an ice capp is like a frappuccino? i used to love them but they became too sweet. i believe in lattes and lattes only. keurig never tastes as good as the OG, i’ve had starbucks, dunkins, and peet’s keurig cups but it’ll never live up 😪 u r my soulmate and i snatched u, u can’t leave even if u wanted. period. LATTES ARE EXPENSIVE like. i pay $6.70 or smth like that bc of the vanilla flavoring and the extra shots. makes me wanna yeet myself off a bridge but there aren’t lattes in hell.

RIGHT omg the first time i saw them make it i was like. where r u giving me a cup of MILK but it tastes good so it’s okay. my stomach has not been cooperating and hurts whenever i get normal milk so i have to ask for almond and pay an extra 25 cents. like damn i $7 for a cup of coffee. but it’s okay it’s still good 🤧

& SMOOTHIE MASTER ARELLA HHHH my family is also Lazy like. it’s not hard to make a smoothie u FOOLS but i mean ig. they’ll just be hoes and force me to make them 😤 but it’s fine bc when i make the smoothies i’m let off of washing dishes 🤪

if u eat a pancake plain ur wrong on so many levels. it’s so painful to see. like. WHY. and cooked flour,,,, ada ur so funny omg waffles are so good like. it’s crispy but pancakes get soggy and it’s Gross. not here for it

i suck @ all languages too like grammar who? i only know keyboard smashes and incoherent screams. jisung is amazing and i love him w my whole soul. he’s such a good wrecker like whY are u so perfect?? i was bin biased but jisung came and made me double biased 🤧 i’m unloyal.

i don’t believe in no brain cells i believe in broken hearts and that’s what this fic is going for. angst angst and angst. i’ll send u peet’s and u send me tim hortons i look forward to gross and melted coffee 🤪

WLSKKSSK TUMBLR RLY OUT HERE UR SO CUTE AHHH i screamed for a good 5 minutes. i’m still upset. like. why did i do this to myself arella u big dumb. omg and did u save urself for the presentation? it’s worse for u bc like. it’s for school 😔 we can be dumb hoes together it’s okay

OVER A MONTH WHEN DO U START i have 2 weeks and a half. 3 weeks? i start on a thursday which is weird but Go Off. i’m gonna drop a class i’m not up for 7 classes esp w an AP and 3 honors 🤧 why did i take those classes i’m actually an idiot hhhhh

i stan ada and ada only (jk binsung but yk what they don’t count) stan TALENT my coffee soulmate ily

[filzmonster]

song-of-amethyst replied to your post

“Top 5 Ships of my heart Rules: list 5 of your OTPs and tag 5 people. I...”

GilBreak is no crackship, they're totally valid! :D Do you see a lot of people say they are the other's left eye? <3 (also, I don't like to admit how much I relate to the tragic ships thing but here we are) On a more personal notes though I'm very interested in the PH crackships :p *has quite a lot of these too*

Oh look, I’m procrastinating again 

nladsfhalksfhasdf I feel so validated right now ?? :’) Honestly I feel like there are not that much people in the fandom that actively ship them and I’m just here ?? starving for content ?? xD 

(I mean. looking at the fandoms we’re in there’s not much of a choice we have but to let our hearts be broken by the same couple of idiots over and over again. It’s heaven for masochists.)

Oh boy. I show you mine if you show me yours I’ll put it under a read more since I can already see myself escalating with this. Also most of the crack ships basically boil down to Gilbert x Anyone Else b/c that’s just the kind of trash I am  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Gilbert x Reim

I fully blame that one special manga scene for this ship. The one in which they are having a tea party and Sharon tells Break that Gilbert learned how to cook because of him and then Gilbert spends two pages gushing about hOW AWESOME REIM IS and that just kinda did it for me (together with all the other little scenes these two get throughout the manga). Because when you think about it, they are very close age-wise, they probably spend a lot of time together and they both bond over what an asshole Break can be. THERE’S POTENTIAL THERE OKAY. Also they would have a very healthy, supportive relationship and it would just be the purest thing ever ?? So yeah. totally shipping them.

Gilbert x Lottie

I FULLY BLAME THE OTHER SPECIAL MANGA SCENE FOR THIS OKAY. The one in Last Dance ?? Where Lottie and Gilbert are bugging Reim b/c they found out he proposed to Sharon. IDK it just hit me how nice their dynamic seemed over those short couple of pages ?? Also I feel like they would really understand each other - they both have Master issues, they are both Baskervilles, they both lost people they cared about, they both had to do horrible things, they both got betrayed by Jack, they both had a special connection with Oswald/Glen, they are both kinda mother hens let’s be real. But they still did very different things with their common ground. Gilbert chose to sort of abandon Oswald/Glen because he couldn’t accept his decisions, while Lottie chose to stop him but still stayed by his side instead. They could talk about these things and it would be such an interesting conversation!! Aaaand someone in the fandom once said that since Lottie likes to cook too, she could help Gilbert learn how to cook with only one hand and just !! imagine !! the cuteness !!

Okay this is the part where it gets really crack-y okay pls don’t judge too hard

Leo x Gilbert

HEAR ME OUT. Bonding over Elliot’s death ?? Bonding over Oswald ?? Bonding over that whole Glen Baskerville thing in general ?? Bonding over Vincent being a self-sacrificing idiot ?? Bonding over Oz & Oz’ death ?? Just. Them being there for each other in ways no one else could be there for them. They are both servants. They are both kind of Glen B. (even though Gilbert isn’t anymore but like. he was supposed to be, he grew up being prepared to take over that role, something must have stuck) They both lost the same people. It probably wouldn’t be like. a very good (as in healthy and based on trust, true love) relationship, but it would be an interesting, darker one. It also probably wouldn’t last but that’s not the point of shipping anyway is it ?? 

Gilbert x The other Nightray siblings

Okay. This one is. Going to take a while to explain. I once read a pretty dark Gilbert x Vanessa fanfiction and that was when it just ?? occured to me that while we don’t get to see much of the other Nightray siblings (RIP I guess) except for Elliot (with whom I do not ship Gilbert with because they actually have a brother-brother bond in my eyes tbh) they still have potential to have interesting dynamics with Gilbert (and Vincent, too, so I guess I ship Vincent with them, too). Especially when you look at it from a ‘we are using each other for things’ point of view. Like them using Gilbert to try and get to Raven’s power or just using him for the Nightray’s dirty work in general. Gilbert using them for information he could pass on to Break. The Nightrays are already a pretty dysfunctional bunch so why not add that kind of dysfunctional relationship/dynamic, too ??

Gilbert x Sharon

I don’t have an excuse for this, they are just both really nice & caring characters and they would deserve each other okay. With that said:

Vincent x Sharon

If I remember correctly, Jun once stated that an arranged marriage between Vincent and Sharon was supposed to be a plot point in the manga so ?? I could see it work in a ‘we are both highly political and totally maybe not on the same side so we’ll just really use each other for our own gain and whups what do you mean we could also team up and be badass together ??’ way. Break would probably kill Vincent first though so 

Break x Rufus Barma

I once got a fanfiction promopt for them so. I blame the person who prompted me. I can’t un-see it, you know ?? B/c once I started to think about their potential dynamic in order to write the fanfic, tHE DYNAMIC WAS JUST THERE OKAY. IT WAS JUST THERE. and it would work ?? I mean. The relationship between these two would probably be based on them constantly trading secrets and informations with each other and trying to out-plot the other one, but they could still be a pretty good couple. Much like Vincent x Sharon: they would just team up and screw over everybode else together.

Oswald/Glen x that Nightray dude that warned him about Jack

b/c why not ?? We know next to nothing about that guy so why not make him someone who cared about Oswald and tried to give him some love because Oswald dESERVES IT OKAY.

Jack x Arthur Barma

Again: why not ? Arthur totally had a crush on him and it would make Jack betraying him so much more brutal and cold hearted (or Jack was actually also in love with him but his obsession with Lacie was still stronger).

Jack x Miranda Barma

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (honestly if I wouldn’t read Jack as kinda grey-ace / not interested in other people besides Oswald and Lacie, these two could just have some kind of. friends with benefits relationship without the being actual friends part.)

Ada x Vanessa

It would be like Romeo and Juliet but gay They could either be using each other to get information, or they could be actually in love and just. be tragically seperated by their family feud. 

Lottie x Sharon

The female power couple I deserve. They are both Queens. They both care a lot about the people important to them. They are both willing to make sacrifices and they are both very smart on an emotional level. Also they could totally bond about the dumb men in their lives.

Oz x Break

... I don’t even know why myself. They are just very similar to each other and it would be like one bunny bumping heads with another bunny.

Reim x Lottie

J U S T. do it for the aesthetic, if not for anything else ?? They are both really smart and - out of their respective groups - the ones who look like they have their life together the most but actually don’t

Elliot x Alice

No idea where that one is coming from tbh, they just seem like they would kinda. click. with each other. also imagine the look on Oz’ and Gilbert’s faces

Alice x Gilbert

In a world where the Tragedy Of Sablier never happened, these two grow up together and have a very ‘slow burn childhood friends to lovers’ trope going on. f i g h t     m e one day Gilbert is sad so Alice gives him a very cute stuffed rabbit (“this one always protects me when I’m sad I can lend him to you”) and from then on they just share the stuffed rabbit with each other as their protector 

I ... I think that’s it. I’m not even sure if you read until here tbh xD Like I said, please try not to judge too hard, a lot of these are very lowkey ships. aLSO FEEL FREE TO TELL ME YOURS PLEASE I AM CURIOUS TOO !!

[9misorai]

Don't mind me. Just scroll down. Just want to ramble a bit about my fics--

--idk if I should put it on my sideblog. Ah, I need to think about it in the future.

There are two fics that actually is a series (you could say that), Grayscale and Pertanyaan Kelima(literally means Fifth Question) (which will be abbreviated as G and PK). G was published some months after PK, but actually, PK's idea was appeared after G's idea.

In short, I have an idea for a fic with Kaizo as its main character, I want to establish my opinion about how Kaizo sees Fang. When I was constructed the rough idea for G, another thought came to me: but what a out how Fang sees Kaizo? Wouldn't I want to write it too? I could write it for the sequel of G, I thought.

So, I have the general idea for PK while typing for G's story.

But then I stucked. Finding mood to write Kaizo was REALLY hard, so I opened another doc and wrote the first few paragraphs of PK and it was SO much easier to find mood to write Fang. But that time, PK is still written to be G's sequel, so I stopped in the middle and tried to finish G and watched the last three episode of bbb s3 so I could find the mood (I........can't believe I did this LOL I even remembered ALL Kaizo's line asdfghjkl).

I had G's draft rewritten for at least twice and I still don't find the mood. So I was like, "ah screw it! I will write PK first I don't even care anymore if it was written to be G's sequel". So I did.

A few days after I published PK, and reread it as a reader, then I have another rough idea for G's story. Yes, the first, second, and third draft for G were very very very different from the finished piece. The original G's idea was the story after ep26, although the concept was same: Kaizo's opinion about Fang. And his opinion in both draft was same as well. But with the new idea, I could wrote it much easier, I didn't even know why.

But, unlike the first idea, Kaizo's opinion about Fang wasn't the highlight. Rather, the highlight on the story is Kaizo's opinion about himself, which lead to some paragraph of opinion on Fang because, after all, they're related by blood.

And that made me thing, was PK still the sequel of G? Were PK and G still related to one another? As the writer of both fics, I could say yes because I know the connections in both works. But as the reader? It's not like I was underestimating the readers. I know very well that the readers are clever, but I doubted people would connect those two fic just how I, as the writter, connected both. So I decided that both fic, after all, is not related and not a prequel/sequel.

But what exactly was related in both fic? I have said it above: Fang's opinion on Kaizo and Kaizo's opinion on Fang. In PK, I wrote this:

Sepanjang yang Fang ingat, Fang merasakan banyak perasaan pada Kaizo. Fang menghormati kakaknya. Kakaknya adalah kaptennya. Ia menghormati, menaati, sekaligus menakuti Kaizo.

Bagaimana dengan menyayangi?

So I wrote Fang didn't know what he felt for his brother, but he knew what he felt for his captain, albeit both are same person. 'Fang menghormati kakaknya' means Fang thought he respected the brother, but then he remembered that 'Kakaknya adalah kaptennya' means that it was not the brother who he respected, rather the captain, and it followed with how he felt afterwards 'menghormati, menaati, sekaligus menakuti' respected, obeyed, and feared. That's how he felt about the captain. But what about as a brother? Is there any brother love in Fang's heart? He didn't know. He didn't even know his feeling.

And now, continue to G. I wrote this in G:

Kaizo dan Pang adalah adik kakak—tidak mengherankan, melihat kemiripan netra dan rambut dari keduanya. Kaizo pun mendapat konsekuensi dari adiknya sendiri—dikhianati, diragukan, bahkan mungkin dibenci. Kaizo tidak tahu dan tidak yakin ingin tahu bagaimana perasaan si kecil Pang padanya.

Kalau boleh Kaizo berkata kejam, kalau boleh mengatakan apapun tanpa memikirkan perasaan orang lain, kalau boleh mengungkapkan apa yang sejujurnya apa yang ada di dalam hati, Kaizo tidak memandang Pang lebih dari seorang prajurit di pasukannya.

Kemudian Kaizo teringat. Dia memang boleh.

(Namun bukan berarti dia ingin.)

This is probably my favorite lines in G, if not in all my fics.

Kaizo remembered that he and Pang were, indeed, siblings. Kaizo knew very well too that Pang wasn't happy to be lived with him, because Kaizo had been 'dikhianati, diragukan, bahkan mungkin dibenci'--betrayed, doubted, or even hated, by Pang. But then he thought, it didn't matter how Pang felt toward him--he didn't know and didn't want to know how Pang felt.

Did you see the connection? In PK, Fang said he didn't know what he felt for Kaizo. And in G, Kaizo didn't want to know Fang's feeling either. Ironic, eh?

But then it followed with how Kaizo sees Fang: only as a soldier. Nothing more. Although sometimes he hoped he could see Fang not just as soldier, but he couldn't. And probably wouldn't. And didn't want to either.

Did you see the second connection? Kaizo in G gave his opinion that Fang was only one of his subordinate, one of the soldier, not brother at all. While Fang in PK, too, only said his feeling to Kaizo as a Captain, as a soldier too, not as a brother.

THAT was why I wanted to make PK as G's sequel. But in the end, the connections are too weak, and everyone can read both fics as a stand alone.

So yeah. It's like that.

[pluckyredhead]

Daredevil 101: Echo

Thanks for sticking with me through “Guardian Devil,” friends. Brighter days are ahead of us! Well, not for Matt, he’s going to continue to be abjectly miserable for about 12 years, but the comics are a lot better.

Today, Matt tries to process Karen’s death with a little rebound in “Parts of a Hole.” This is written by David Mack and the art is a collaborative process between him and Joe Quesada, blending Quesada’s more traditional (though still very experimental for the time) work with Mack’s paintings. The result is a book that definitely has some rough patches, but is visually stunning. (If Mack’s work looks familiar, it’s probably because his Alias covers were the inspiration for the Jessica Jones opening credits.)

[ETA: I was incorrect about the above - Mack did thumbnail layouts but the art is all Quesada.]

Also, it introduces Echo, and she’s the best.

This is how it starts:

Yeah, Matt’s not in a great headspace these days.

I think this page is mostly Quesada, with some Mack influences in the background and hand lettering. I’d love to know their creative process for this story, because this was still the early days of digital art and sending huge files to collab on was no small thing.

With the new headquarters of Nelson and Murdock still under construction, Matt seems to spend most of his time wandering around his palatial home in a robe, playing piano:

This isn’t really plot-relevant, but I couldn’t deprive you guys of it. Also, Matt must have made an insane salary working for Rosalind because he had no savings when she hired him and yet he apparently bounced back enough to get a place in Manhattan with floor-to-ceiling windows and fill it with a grand piano. (Quesada is the king of giving Matt ludicrous, implausibly expensive surroundings; in another miniseries Matt has an entire room dedicated to his collection of Japanese armor and weaponry.)

Matt is not the only piano player in this story, though. Meet Maya Lopez:

Maya is Cheyenne (and presumably Latina, going by her last name, though that’s not confirmed in the text). She was born deaf, but she can remember and perfectly mimic anything she sees. When her father, Willie “Crazy Horse” Lincoln, was killed, his employer became her legal guardian. Once the guardian realized she was a prodigy, he spared no expense getting her the best schools and tutors to allow her to develop her gifts to their full potential.

Maya is a celebrated concert pianist, boxer, performance artist, and more. Her body does everything she asks of it, and audiences love her story of overcoming the odds. (Don’t let the childish drawings fool you - she’s about Matt’s age. I like the conceit artistically, but it does make her come off as much younger than him or somehow emotionally arrested. I mean, I guess she is, since she hasn’t made peace with her father’s death, but no one’s more emotionally arrested that Matthew M. Murdock.)

And who is her munificent guardian? Oh, just Wilson Fisk.

Fisk’s narration at the bottom picks up some of the themes of “Guardian Devil” - that Matt’s problems are because the women in his life have failed him - and it’s gross. Also gross? That he’s about to pimp out his foster daughter in yet another effort to destroy Matt from the inside. STOP TRYING TO BREAK HIS HEART, WILSON. JUST FUCKING SHOOT HIM.

But yeah, even though Fisk does seem to genuinely care about Maya - and she loves him and has no idea he’s anything but a legitimate “spice dealer” - he also recognizes that Matt will be drawn to her due to their shared life experiences, and so he sends her to see him on some legal pretense.

Before that, though, Matt and Foggy have a client (who they’re seeing at Matt’s house, since the office is under construction). His name is Lenny, he’s a former employee of Fisk’s who wants to flip on him, and he’s got a speech impediment that Matt has no trouble with but Foggy can’t quite get a handle on:

The bullet grazes Matt’s cheek - and kills Lenny. Matt suits up and takes down the sniper - a weirdo of a hired killer named Murphy - but it’s too late to save their client.

The next day, Matt’s a little stiff and concussed, but Foggy’s a mess:

I think Foggy’s OTT emotional reaction here is supposed to be comic relief, but it’s worth remembering that in the last storyline Foggy was drugged and sexually assaulted, arrested on false charges, fired by his own mother because she thought he was a rapist, and lost his second best friend in the world to a horribly violent murder. So yeah, not a shock that he’s fragile right now:

Anyway, drink it in, friends: Matt holding Foggy while he cries and then someone assuming they’re boyfriends. Also, presumably Matt heard Maya come in but decided that Foggy was more important. Aw.

Maya tells Matt about the flimsy legal pretense Fisk sent her there on and they make plans to meet to discuss it in more detail while he’s wearing pants. (She’s an expert lip reader so as long as they’re facing each other there’s no problem with communication.) Matt is charmed because Maya is adorable and smells really good and Matt is profoundly vulnerable right now and also, as Wolverine once put it, “the biggest himbo that ever wore a pair of tights.” (That line is CANON, folks!)

Next, Maya goes to see Fisk and ask him a very important question:

Who killed Maya’s father? Why, Daredevil, of course.

Having a specific person to blame has a profound effect on Maya. She does her best to process this new information through her art, in a one-woman show she writes and choreographs called Echo:

The handprint on her face represents the bloody handprint her father left there as he died. (This page is pure Mack, btw.)

But just performing it isn’t enough. She needs revenge.

But first, she needs to meet Matt Murdock for coffee!

I love Maya’s description of Matt up there, which could come out of pretty much anything on AO3 today. (Maybe Charlie Cox really took this comic to heart while he was researching the character?) I also love that she is serving up a serious 1999 Look (TM) while he looks like a pallbearer.

Anyway, they are utterly smitten with one another and it’s super cute. They agree to see each other again and part happily.

A few hours later, Echo attacks Daredevil:

Right, so Matt obviously knows immediately that it’s Maya - I’m not even sure he knows she’s wearing a costume. (And the handprint doesn’t really hide her face anyway.) But unless Maya stops for long enough to read his lips, she’ll have no idea it’s Matt (even though he tries to tell her right away, which is admirable, but dude, don’t ever tell Foggy about that).

I have to say, Maya’s costume makes sense for “I’m a dancer in the late 90s who is gonna go do some parkour and kill a guy, what do I have in my closet that works?” but it’s pretty half-assed design-wise. It’s...a sports bra and pants and Docs. The feathers are a really lazy “Also, Native American!” addition. My kingdom for a redesign and series by a Native artist. (Maya’s plotline here only touches on her Cheyenne heritage in passing, but there’s a later vision quest storyline that’s...dicey.)

The fight is broken up when some kids appear and Maya doesn’t want them witnessing violence. Matt’s left trying to figure out why Maya’s trying to kill him.

Meanwhile, the Lenny case isn’t over! See, Lenny has a twin brother named Larry, and both he and Murphy (the sniper) are willing to testify against Fisk. The DA’s office makes Foggy a special ADA due to his familiarity with Fisk’s history and general badassery. To rattle him, Fisk hires Rosalind:

The absolute pair on you, Franklin. My God.

Taking this case is a sublimely shitty move on Rosalind’s part, of course, on multiple levels. (And yes, I know I said last time it would be the last time we saw her, but I’d forgotten about this. She’ll be back one more time in a few years, too.)

Foggy loses...and kind of flips out, openly calling Fisk a murderer and accusing him of buying off the jury. It’s not stated outright, but I have to imagine his mother coolly opposing him in court after abandoning him without a second thought didn’t help his emotional state.

As Fisk leaves the court, he’s attacked by Larry, looking to avenge his brother. Daredevil shows up, but too late:

Fisk falls into the river and is presumed dead. Matt takes the gun from Larry and is photographed holding it - and Maya, seeing the photos and the headlines, thinks Daredevil just killed her second father.

Meanwhile Foggy, still in his role as an ADA (with no acknowledgment from the story that he used to be DA), is tearing through Fisk’s organization while, uh, Matt faps to it:

ILU FOGGY YOU BEAUTIFUL AVOCADO

Oh, but Fisk’s not dead, of course:

Nope, just hanging out in the sewer eating rats. This is like the third time, idk why Daredevil characters always end up in the sewers but they super do.

Oh, and we get so Fisk backstory which clearly informed the show:

Baby Fisk kills some random dude with a hammer, not his dad - we don’t actually know what happens to his parents - but the hammer is there, as is the working class household full of fighting.

Meanwhile, Echo goes after Daredevil again - but when the cut from the earlier bullet graze opens up on his cheek, she remembers Matt’s injury and finally recognizes him:

Sigh. Did we really need that much sideboob, Quesada?

Anyway, Maya finally draws the inevitable conclusion: Fisk killed her father, not Daredevil. It’s not entirely clear why Willie would’ve asked his murderer to care for his child or why Fisk did it (side note: I’d love to know what kind of relationship, if any, Maya had with Fisk’s son).

And so Maya finally confronts her father’s killer:

Maya leaves town to figure herself out. Matt returns to the slow process of healing. And Fisk? Fisk gets the ironic ending. I’m not sure exactly where Maya shot him, but, well...

Next up: Bendis!