#And it's gonna put a pin in kind of a lot of the plans we have for our life

[pass1onepr1ncess]

And what if I draw Trish with mobility aides? What then? Who's gonna stop me? Absolutely no one, that's who

[inbabylontheywept]

i did wrestling in middle school. on one hand, i was actually quite good at it, which was nice. being good at any sport was a new achievement for me. on the other hand, i was bi, and i was trying very hard not to notice that i was bi, and getting folded into knots by very kind, very muscular dorks made that task somewhat difficult.

adding fire to the problem was that my parents and my grandparents wanted to watch my matches, because they were very proud that their Gangly Nerd Son was actually Sporting, and they wanted to cheer me on. which would've been sweet and all, but if there are four people you do not want there during a key part of your Burgeoning Sexual Awakening, it is your mom and your dad and your grandma and your grandpa.

right? i mean, imagine some guy's got your head in his armpit, and you're going you know, old sweat smells bad, but fresh sweat has a sort of and then you make eye contact with your grandpa in the stands and you remember you're swearing spandex so if you pop a boner people aren't just going to be able to see the outline, they're going to be able to count the veins, and the only way you will be able to restore your family's honor after that would be by moving to siberia and renouncing joy, forever. that, or lift your entire body up by your kneck then twist 180 degrees without paralyzing yourself.

it’s a lot of pressure, is what i’m saying.

still it did motivate me to win my matches really fast. because i was so tall and skinny, i was stupidly good at the double leg takedown, and then once someone was knocked down, i'd just do the half nelson and kind of flip em over for the pin. then the ref would count to three and i’d win. EZPZ.

i had one match where that went great. won in the first ten seconds, sat back down, and prepared myself for a good hour or two of doing fuck all. didn't even feel bad the parents/grandparents were gonna be bored. the matches went up from me in 5 pound increments (i was in the 115 lbs division) and it was going great until we got to the 145 lbs division. the other school's wrestler stepped onto the mat, and she turned out to be a girl so our guy flipped, because for straight guys, wrestling a girl is not a pleasant experience.

i'm not entirely unsympathetic. my experience wrestling dudes was definitely a little traumatic. but also, i dealt. guy could've dealt too. instead, he refused to wrestle, and the coach went - fine. not even worth fighting over.

so he went to the 140 pounder, and that guy said, nosir, my mom said mormons can't wrestle girls. next guy down, 135 pounder, now he knew he could pull the same card and thus did. 130 pounder, 125, both tapped out. he got to the 120 guy, and that guy was catholic, but he said he was considering being mormon, and thus would have to pass. as a precaution.

coach blew up a little at that. he said "is there anyone - anyone - on this entire goddamn team that is willing to wrestle a girl?" and then he pointed at me and said "YOU. MAT. GO."

and i'll be real, if i'd been paying more attention, i'd have pulled the mormon card too, but i'd just been putting all that audio into a buffer file because i was reading, so i was halfway across the mat before i even processed what had been said and by then it was too late to turn back.

still i had a plan. and my plan - my beautiful, perfect plan - was to do what i'd always done. tackle, flip, pin, win. sit down. read. bore my family to death. move on.

i got the first part right. she was bigger than me, but she wasn't taller. just an incredibly stout woman. god built me like a snake with glasses, just as he built her like a combat cube. the problem was the half nelson. soon as she was down, i tried hooking my arm under hers from behind and for both genders, the defense for this move is just clamping your arms really fucking tight against your sides. if you're a guy, that's whatever, but if you're a girl - especially if you're god's chosen combat cube - that pins your opponents hand right against your boob.

so, i got the hook in, she clamped, my whole arm pressed against something soft, my coach was yelling THE HALF NELSON. BABYLON! JUST FINISH IT! FINISH THE HALF NELSON! and i was just trying to press hard enough to finish, when then my brain went

...oh.

and i flipped out. of course i flipped out. i like girls, and touching a boob is an elemental experience, and i was not ready. i was not prepared. i had not committed the sacred rites. i recoiled like i'd just brushed my arm against the surface of the sun, stood up, and backed away. nobody in the room knew why i'd given up. all they saw was me, right about to win, suddenly flailing around and scrambling. so everyone started screaming at me to just get the half nelson again, and i couldn't really yell back there's a fuckin' boob in the way and it was very distressing, and the only way i could think of to make them stop was just doing it over again the right way.

so i did.

i hunkered down and prepared myself for Wrasslin' Attempt #2: The Sequel.

i knocked her down again, EZPZ. i went for the half nelson again, but she knew what i was about to do so she super clamped, and i knew she was gonna super clamp, so i wound my arm back like a pop-eye cartoon punch before swinging my arm through the gap between her bicep and her side, but the amount of time i spent winding back super signalled what i was about to to do, which gave her time to clamp even harder, which somehow redirected the entire force of the popeye punch to the bottom of her bra.

it spat out a single boob the same way an action hero might spit out one single tooth after getting a solid crack across the jaw. as if to say:

*ptooie.* "that all you got?"

i did not actually see this. my experience was that first there was an arm, then there was a bit of boob, but i was braced, i was ready, forward at all costs, tatakae motherfuckers, and then the boob went away, and i didn't know where it went but my team, and the audience, and everyone who was in front of me, they all gasped like i just kicked them in the stomach. except for my coach. he was behind me, and thus one of the four people in the room who did not see the boob. now my mom, my dad, my grandma, and my grandpa, they all got flashed but nooooooo, coach thunderbutt was behind me, and he didn't see shit so he was still yelling NOOOOOO BABYLON WHAT ARE YOU DOING JUST FINISH THE NELSON! GO FOR THE KILL! BABYLON! BABYLON!

but i did not go for the kill. i stood up and she stuffed her boob back real fast, and we just kind of circled each other awkwardly until time ran out and i won on points. that's not technically allowed, but the ref had some mercy on me.

my coach did not.

i barely had time to sit down before he strode over to the bench to chew me out.

"babylon," he said, in that very calm way people get when they're too pissed to yell. "why didn't you pin?"

and i didn't know how to say well coach, i tried, but there was a boob, and it kept getting in the way, and my mom was watching, and so was my dad, and so was his dad, and his mom, and god (like bible god) and that's a can of worms because i'm pretty sure he was already mad at me, and i'm wearing spandex, and i think i might have to move to siberia, so instead i said

"i uh. i forgot how to do the half nelson."

which is actually impossible. forgetting how to do the half nelson is like forgetting how to swallow your spit.

and he looked at me, like i was the dumbest person in the entire world, and i looked through him like i'd just survived my 250th day in a trench at verdun, and he said: fine.

fine.

but we're all going to practice it for an hour tomorrow because you forgot.

and then he left.

and my buddies had the gall to be salty about it. i got so many comments saying "dude, why didn't you just tell him the truth?" and i said "you can if you care so damn much. you could've wrestled the girl too. maybe someone else should do the hard thing today."

but they didn't. so the next day, we did an hour of half nelson drills, and i spent a decent amount of time getting thrown around the mat, and it was pleasant in exactly the way that i hated and the year after that, to the surprise of everyone but myself, i quit wrestling and joined the trivia team.

and if you want more reasons to love my mom, my grandpa joked after the match that i might have to talk to my bishop about it, and my mom told him he would be allowed to make jokes after he stood in front of a crowd of 110 people in spandex underpants while wrestling a woman that was not his wife.

he paused for almost five seconds after that. then he said: aw. hell. sorry babylon.

and i'd have preferred my apology from god, but getting it from him was pretty good too.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

End Game 1

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as noncon/dubcon, age gap, stalking, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: Your gaming buddy asks to meet up but it doesn't go exactly as planned.

Characters: Andy Barber

Note: get ready for the hate.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

The tunnel lights up ahead of you, revealing the cubic rock walls as you plant torches in your stead. The eerie soundtrack of night time and the ominous groan of zombies looming somewhere in the cave have you uptight. Silently, you press on, digging and mining mindlessly, fingers mashing the buttons on your controller. 

“Hey, where are you?” Jacob’s voice startles you. 

You nearly forgot you’re playing co-op. You sniff and shake your head, cursing aloud as your shock has you succumbing to the arrow of a sneaky skeleton. You sigh as your possessions scatter and you spawn back in your bed. 

“Back home,” you say glumly, “just ate it.” 

“Ah, damn,” his deep voice rolls in your noise-cancelling headset, “sorry, hope that wasn’t me.” 

“No, I wasn’t paying attention,” you hum and sigh.  

“Ah,” he accepts and lets silence linger before he clicks his tongue, “what’s going on? Everything alright?” 

“Yeah, yeah,” you put the controller down, your avatar sitting on the geometric bed, “I just...” you stretch your neck and massage your scalp around the thick band of the headset, “got a lot on my mind.” 

“Right. I thought you were all done exams,” he says. 

“I am, but... packing. Going home. I called my old boss and turns out I’m not gonna have a job this summer. Gotta start over,” you yawn and rub your eyes, “what about you? Final exam tomorrow?” 

“Uh... yeah,” he hesitates as if he forgot. You do wonder why he isn’t cramming right now. You could never play minecraft all night the day before a final. “Easy stuff. I’m not worried.” 

You scoff. You wish you could say the same. All you’ve done is worry those last two weeks. Exams, getting home, getting a job. Your grandmother won’t very happy to find out you’ll be slumming it for a while. At least you tucked away some money through the semester. 

“Hey, if you need a few bucks...” Jacob offers. 

“What? Are you crazy? No way,” you exclaim, “really, no, I couldn’t. I’ll be fine. I just... I hate looking for jobs. You know how it is. Friggin awkward.” 

“It’s not a big deal. My dad sent me my birthday money so...” 

“Uh uh,” you deny him again, “that’s way too much. I couldn’t-- we haven’t even met.” 

“Mm, yeah, about that,” he exhales into his microphone, “I, uh, got an extra ticket to this Con. I figured out that’s it like the midway point between us so...” 

“A con? Oh, wow--” 

“Yeah, but I get that it would be expensive so maybe I could pay for your trip?” 

“Jacob,” you wiggle the controller restlessly, “I can't accept that. It’s so nice but... it’s a lot.” 

“I wouldn’t offer it was too much,” his voice is soft, meek, and defeated. You feel bad but you would feel worse taking advantage of his kindness. “We’ve been talking all year. I just figured it would be a good chance to meet up. It would be in public and something we both like so...” 

You scratch your neck as it speckles with heat. You don’t know what’s more insulting; yes or no. 

“Can I think about it?” You ask thinly. 

The line is quiet. You look at the screen and it goes dim from your idling. You hit the analog stick and fix your headphones. 

“Jacob?” You murmur. 

“Sure, think about it,” he says, his voice raspy and rocky. It’s strange. You’ve seen him in pictures and his voice doesn’t really match his appearance. He sounds a lot older than he looks. “It’s next month so lots of time.” 

“I’m sorry,” you cringe. “I just wouldn’t want to waste your money.” 

“Trust me, it wouldn’t be a waste,” he insists, “this last year has sucked. So much. You got me through it all.” His microphone scuffs, “studying, exams, all that stuff. It’s tough making new friends. Seems like everyone here knows each other from high school.” 

“Yeah, totally,” you agree.  

You’re not exactly the most popular person. You have people you know in each class but not too many friends you hang out with outside the lecture hall or library. So far, not too many people want to spend hours mining digital gold or racing cartoon characters around a rainbow track. 

“Well, you should probably get some sleep,” you yawn, “you got your big exam and... I gotta keep packing. Gotta catch the greyhound tomorrow night.” 

“Sure, uh, yeah, right,” his disappointment is potent, “hey, will you text me when you get home? Just so I know you made it.” He snorts, “god, I sound like my dad right now.” 

“Oh, of course,” you chirp back, “I’ll try to remember. Might be late.” 

“That’s fine. Just as long as you let me know.” 

“Don’t worry about me,” you assure him, “not ‘til I have to face my grandma. Ha.” 

“Yeah, good luck with that,” he says, “well... er...” 

“Good night,” you finish for him, “let me know how the exam goes too.” 

“Will do,” his timbre gets even lower, “night.” 

You sign off and shut down the console. Another yawn flows through you and waters in your eyes. You should sleep, you got a long day waiting for you, but you know it won’t be easy. Not with so much on your mind, not least of all, Jacob’s invitation. 

🎮

You text Jacob as you get on the bus, to make sure he doesn’t worry. It’s so sweet that he does, even some of your girlfriends don’t bother that much. Not that you mind the ‘hey, bitch’ Janet sends you every now and again to make sure you’re still alive. 

You fall asleep on the bus. You’ve never been one to sleep while travelling but you’re exhausted from a night of anxious tossing and turning. After spending all day packing up the last of your things and scouring your dorm room, you’re beat to hell. 

It’s midnight as you get to your grandmother’s house. She’s up reading another Stephen King classic in her rocking chair. She’s always been a night owl and a voracious book hound. She grumbles at you but doesn’t bother to ask how your trip was. 

“Hey, grandma,” you hike up your bag and smile.  

She growls again, eyes not leaving the page. You should know better by now not to interrupt her. You shoulder on and head down to the spare room where you spent most of your high-school career. You shut the door gently as the old hardwood floors creak with your weight and you drop your bag on the squeaky bed. 

You fish out your phone and plug it in as the battery flashes red with only two percent left. You leave it on the night table and stretch out, not bothering to change out of your hoodie and jeans. It’s not long before you descend back into the same dreams that marked your journey home. 

You wake up to buzzing. Your phone shakes the nightstand, rattling it against the bed frame. You groan and roll onto your side, reaching blindly for offending object. You hit the side button to dismiss the call.  

You blink away the bleariness and focus on the screen. Along with the missed call are several text messages. You squint as you expand the notifications. Jacob! You forgot to message. 

‘Hey, you home?’ 

‘Checking in. Must be busy getting settled in. Just let me know when you’re safe.’ 

‘Not meaning to be weird but everything okay?’ 

‘Please answer me. I’m worried.’ 

You drag your thumb around the keyboard, letting it predict your words; ‘sorry! I was so tired. Home now and safe 😊' 

Three dots pop up then swoop away. You frown as the same thing happens several times before a response appears. 

‘Was really worried. Thanks for finally answering. Been up all night.’ 

You’re stunned by the terse response. Yeah, you forgot to answer but he doesn’t need to worry that much. You frown and shift onto your side. 

‘Srry again. Tired. Talk in morning. Night.’ 

You turn your phone on silent and plug it back into the cord. You do feel bad but you’re too exhausted to let it keep you up. Besides, you need your sleep. You have lots of job hunting to do in the morning. Not to mention, your grandmother to face. 

🎮

You let Jacob cool down after your return home. Rather, he doesn’t text and you’re too distracted to do the same. As much as you’d like to sit around and game, your grandmother was as disappointed as you expected with your employment status, even when you gave her the money you had left in your emergency fund. 

After a week, you finally get a bite. It’s nothing special. There’s a seasonal ice cream shop in a booth shaped like a vanilla cone that needs a cashier on weeknights. It’s less than full time hours but it’s better than nothing. It will be strange working with high school juniors but you can’t afford to be picky. 

‘Game tonight?’ The text interrupts your first shift. You don’t have a chance to answer as a family approaches the window to order. 

You get them the soft serve and take their payment, bidding them a good evening with their vanilla points already drooping in the summer heat. You glance around at the mostly empty picnic tables. Soccer practice will end soon and you’ll be overloaded with eight-year-olds. 

‘Srry. New job. 1st shift. Maybe tmrw.’ 

‘New job? Congrats. Why didn’t you tell me?’ 

You sigh.  

‘Time got ahead of me.’ 

‘Same. Catch up tomorrow then. Minecraft?’ 

‘Sure. Tmrw.’ 

You slip your phone away. A mother and daughter approach and ask for a sundae and a banana split. As much as you love ice cream, working with it hasn’t tested your cravings very much. In fact, you might be falling out of love with it. The smell of vanilla and overly sweetened strawberries is kind of gross when it’s all you breathe. 

As you watch the happy customers walk away, you smile. Maybe it will be good to get some mining done. It will take your mind off of everything else. Hell, it might even make you feel like you’re doing something useful. 

🎮

“Shit, oh, sorry,” Jacob corrects himself. You always think it's kind of funny how he doesn’t like to swear. “My diamond armor.” 

“Oh no,” you utter, “where are you? I’ll grab your stuff.” 

He gives his coordinates and you turn around, leaping over the green blocks to make your way there. Despite your reticence at the beginning, you’re feeling better about the session. He wasn’t as tense as he seemed in his texts. 

“So, uh, did you think about the con?” Jacob asks. 

“The con? I almost forgot. When is it?” 

He gives the dates and you hum. Your chest flutters at the thought still. You’re not stupid. Meeting people IRL is not like online, no matter how many hours you’ve mined together. As much as you enjoy chatting with Jacob, you don’t know about meeting up. 

“I get it if you can’t get the time off but my offer still stands to cover the trip. If you wanna stay the night, I’ll even get an airBnB.” 

“Oh, wow, that’s a lot. I’m working now. I could put in,” you offer.  

“Is that a yes?” He asks hopefully. 

“I don’t know... I mean, I’ll have to look into it,” you say evasively. “Talk to my boss and grandma and all that.” 

“Right, right,” he tries to sound unbothered, “makes sense. Of course, no pressure. How about I send you the ticket either way? Haven’t got anyone else to bite.” 

“Oh, well, hold off, I wouldn’t want to take it and not use it,” you collect his weapons and armor from the ground in the game. 

It’s silent as you focus on getting every little thing. 

“Sorry, did I freak you out?” He asks, “I’m really not trying to pressure you, just got excited thinking about it.” 

“I know, Jacob, it’s not that, it’s just... a lot.” 

“Totally get it,” he intones, “let me know whenever you got an answer. Uh, where are you? I’m tryna find you.” 

“Just stay there, I'll come back to the house,” you assure him, happy to focus on the game instead. 

Still, you can’t entirely lose yourself in it. You’re sure he’s a nice guy. From pictures, he’s less than scary, and he’s never been anything but friendly. It’s not like the other dudes you meet online who jump to asking about your bra size and all that. It just isn’t smart. 

Well, maybe if you don’t show up alone. You know what con he’s talking about and Kara from Econ lives near there. You could probably convince her to meet up. Hm, that might work. 

Just like you told him, you’ll have to think about it. 

[megamindsecretlair]

WIP Tuesday

Buckle up babes, it's going to be a long post!

I come before you humble, hat in hand. I know I been wilding ya'll. I know there's a lot of fics I need to update and get back to. I haven't forgotten! And since there are...so many new people thanks to my Terry fics, what a great time to call myself out chuz ya'll too nice to do so! I saw @nerdieforpedro do this a few weeks ago? Forgive me for not tagging the person you got it from, but I am tiredt, chilleee.

Current focus: Terry got my whole heart, ya'll. Every fic I read of him, I just want to go hop in the booth myself and get to writing. Ya'll inspire me every damn day, it's magical. There is a filthy, disgusting, mean, despicable fic I wanna write with him. But alas, he is not the only one I write for.

Girl, there's how many series????? Listen, the muse wants what it wants. 11 series in total. Chillee, why I do dissssss. Some are closer to finishing than others. So let's count them out (click the links to learn more):

Be My Little Darling - Loki series | It Started With a Whisper - Sam Wilson series | Midnight Sin - Vampire Tyrone series | Blackbird - Mob Boss Fontaine | Camp Wanderlust - Franklin Saint series | What You Deserve - Homewrecker Stunna | Runaway Lover - Professor Stunna | If I Took You Home - Kevin Atwater | Kill Her Softly - Zyair Malloy | A Taste of the Divine - Yakuza Sukuna | We Are the Night - Qimir

Frenn, that's a lot, do you sleep? Are you okay? Blink twice if you need help. I'm promise I'm good ya'll, I just love writing and I love interacting with ya'll. You have NO idea how much each and every single one of ya'll mean to me. I love the support, I love the comments, I love the reblogs. I'm trying not to disappoint folks, I was on a schedule and well, life happened. I can course correct, I promise. Just gon' take me a little minute. Let me close the smaller series first!

Okay, surely that's it right, frenn? Ahh no, because there's also the asks that have been piling up. Per my pinned post, you know that I have a scatterbrain. Some asks I deleted because they're too similar to what I've done before. Some I'm still trying to picture before I start writing. But the ones I've kept? At last tally it is...33. Some are similar and I'm going to combine them, but yeahhhhh. This isn't a callout post, keep sending those requests in! Just know it's gonna take me a smoooooooth minute. Also, welcome new people, welcome! But not everything needs a part two, I promise. If I write "The End" at the bottom, that truly means the end. No part 2 planned, ain't trynna write a part two. I want to move on sometimes. I love you, but I'll be writing until I'm gray if everything got a part 2. And I wanna get paid for my writing. Which brings me tooo...

Umm, umm, what's this I hear about a book??? Yes! I am actually writing a book based on an ask I received. It was a sweet ask about what kind of story would go with "Handwritten Letter". I said it gave friends to lovers, she fell first, he fell harder type of vibes. It has morphed into dark academia about a shy girl just trying to come into her own. It's a combo of and a love letter about girls like me, girls like you, each and every person who identifies as a Soft Black Girl. And I already have *so* many ideas about other books I want to do. There will be one based on the Mr. Black series I wrote. There will also be a vampire one! I just can't decide yet which will be the second book I put out. I'm leaning towards vampire because Terry is HEAVY on the brain ya'll. And he'd make a sexy vamp. But anywhooo...

I say all this to say that I'm not a machine. I'm not that quick despite appearances. I may not seem like I have any chill, but I've been fantasizing and turning over these fics in my head for days or weeks before I sit down to write. And I'm not saying to stop. Your support is exactly why I feel good enough about my writing to sit and write an entire book! I want to be a full time author. I want to share my ideas with the world. I'm just slow lmfaoooooo.

In the mean time, I hope you're hitting up all these amazing writers on here. I hope you're commenting and reblogging and showing love on here. I will keep saying it. This site will DIE and these BLACK writers will LEAVE if people keep stealing, not commenting, not reblogging, asking for part 2s and never showing love. Fandom is a community, not a pillar. No one know it's you behind that avatar, go crazy! Go nuts. Show nuts. whatever.

Love, love, love you all. If you read this far, drop something funny in the comments. Or go unhinged in my asks about Terry. Don't get me started about that man, but go awff about him because that's my baby favaaa.

no pressure tags: @chaos-4baby @j0kers-light @umber-cinders @harmshake @planetblaque @babybratzmaraj @soft-persephone

[thehorrorsoftheblackbunnymask]

This is for the high school AU because I completely forgot Liu was there, but can we get some head cannons for him?

High School AU Liu Headcanons

Warnings: Violence, Manipulation, rape mentioned but it's brief, alcohol.

Bro is a loner like EJ, but just like EJ it's by choice. Liu isn't really the type to want a lot of attention, and honestly wants to be mostly unknown.

Liu doesn't really do drugs like the rest of the people in the High School AU, but he does drink alcohol, he has a whole stash hidden in his closet. After what Jeff did to him, bro is still severely traumatized, even tho he forgave him, so he copes through alcohol. One time his parents found it and he was grounded for over a year, but that was his freshman year, he's grown now.

He found out about you through his brother. The two of them were walking home together and Jeff just wouldn't shut up about you, so this caused Liu to try to figure out who you were.

The moment Liu saw you, he fell in love. The way you walked, the way you talked, and just your overall appearance was like a drug to him. He came up to you after school when you were sitting on the curb waiting for your friends to leave their classed. Liu is a charmer and kinda flirtous, so that's what he did when he came up to you. The two if you talked for a while, and he made you blush a few times and got you to laugh.

Liu is so protective it's not even funny. Bro doesn't take shit from nobody, not even his own brother, and it's caused him to get into a shit ton of fights, and Sully instigated most of them.

Liu on his own is such a sweetheart, or that's what he wants you to think. He always offering to walk you home and giving you gifts. But this boy is crazy two faced, Sully doesn't influence him as much as he let's on. Liu is extremely smart and plans his moves carefully, so whenever he slips and let's his darker side shows, he lies and says it was Sully, even if Sully wasn't active.

Not gonna lie to you, Liu is extremely arrogant and full of himself, just like his brother. It's not obvious at first, but if you pay attention to his words and actions you start to catch on, but once you two start dating it's just so obvious.

Liu's main goal is to get you to date him, mostly because he has a massive crush on you, but also he doesn't want anyone else to have you. But once you two start dating, that's when you realize how much of a monster he is.

You didn't know he was an alcoholic until the two of you started dating. When you came to his house, he opened his closet and pulled put a bottle of liquor. And he's a violent, Emotional drunk too, so if you say something that pissed him off, you better run.

Liu is also extremely patient, which is a positive and a negative. He's willing to wait months until the two of you start dating, but if you're crying and pissed off at him because he said something that actually cut deep, he'll just sit there and wait for you to stop. Liu's pretty apathetic, and he may be extremely protective over you, he can honestly care less when you're mad at him because he hurt your feelings while he was drunk.

He kinda has a EJ situation going on. Kind, caring, calm and mysterious at first, but once you two start dating, you're trapped. Because Liu is possessive, once he has you, he's not letting you leave him. The moment you bring it up, Sully would slap you, not Liu, Sully.

You know about Sully, but you never actuly got meet or interact with him, and once you do, you never wanted to leave Liu so fast. Sully is a monster, he's pinned you down and placed a gun to your head, begging you to try and fight back, and he pulled the trigger to. You though you died, but then you heard, laughing? When you opened your eyes, Sully was laughing while saying that the gun was empty, and how cute you looked all scared and shit.

One thing about Liu too is that he could care less about sex. His sex drive is so fucking low, and he'd rather beat the shit out of you if you fucked up then fuck you. So, unlike most of the people in this AU, he's not a rapist. He respects your sexual boundaries and he also could care less about sex.

[rosepetalkitty]

hi hey hello please read this its important info!!

about!!!

what is this? who am i?

hi hi hi!!! finally caved and made an nsfw/kink altblog. no i will not be linking this to my main blog even if u know me there. i doubt im ever gonna post anything thats just outright sexual here bc im acespec and not really into that stuff very much but like kink is such a fun topic so that'll come up a lot. also for the record, this is not a "men dni" page but i am generally sapphic.

call me Rose if you're subby or rosie if you want me to be ^-^ my pronouns are she/her, kit/kitty and ella (es.), i'm an 18y/o trans girl, and i've been diagnosed with adhd, autism and tourettes, among other things.

also, as of october 30th, 2024, i am a voice actress!!! my audios are posted on my reddit page!!! i don't do commissions (yet!) but im happy to take suggestions, so if you have an idea, shoot me an ask!!

and uhhh dunno what else i was gonna say. plspls send me asks i love the attention!!! i'll leave anons on until it becomes a problem~ anyways uh yeah! enjoy!

please read below the break for more information, especially if you plan on interacting with this blog!!

where you can reach me:

here, obviously, though tumblr dms are pretty bad. on the bright side this is like zero effort. you're on tumblr, im on tumblr, yay

simplex! you can click that link to add me, and if you don't have simplex it'll explain to you how to set it up, which is super duper easy. it's really really great privacy wise!! i would very much appreciate it if you send me a tumblr dm telling me your simplex display name so that i know who's who.

discord. my discord tag is the same as my url here. i do prefer simplex over discord though (mostly cuz i don't switch discord accounts on my phone bcuz it's a pain, and also bcuz of the privacy thing)

regarding my roommate, myrrh

as of writing (2024-11-08), myrrh (murmur unless you have been given permission to use the prior! check baa pinned before interacting with bah!) and i are now comfortable interacting on tumblr. this is awesome because discussing kink as an interest is great and ba's my bestie, but i need to make this incredibly clear:

we are strictly platonic! we are not dating, we are not fwb, we do not do any kinky or sexual stuff together at all and never will. we chat about kink and sometimes make jokes about it at each other's expense, but we are friends who live together, not partners. do not insinuate otherwise, it makes both of us very uncomfortable.

An important note about dominance...

If you're exclusively a dom(me) you can skip this, otherwise I would appreciate it if you could at least skim it.

i do not like the expectation that i will be dominant at any given time, but I do enjoy showing some dominance sometimes, in some situations. I do enjoy being a brat, when I'm not already feeling really subby but want to be put in my place.

Hell, I do enjoy hypnotizing people. A lot, actually. I've been a hypnotist (in both a purely for fun way and occasionally a kink way depending on the person) for a relatively large number of people over the past several years, including in person for a handful of people, though much less so in the past year or so. I would love to make files for people to listen to, and I totally would if I had the creative energy and a private space to record (reminder that I live in a college dorm and have a roommate — they're awesome, but we don't have that kind of relationship and have zero intentions of changing that ever).

The problem is, I get burnt out very quickly if I force myself to be dominant when my brain isn't just doing it spontaneously. How do I know? In past relationships my partners saw me as a switch, and expected me to dominate them as much as they dominated me. I really can't do that. My dominance is as much within my control as my hyperfixations — I can make good use of it when it's there, but when it isn't there's nothing I can do to force it without causing myself lots of stress and burnout.

For that reason I'm not willing to be your domme or anyone else's. Instead of seeing me as a switch, please consider me a sub who can be dominant sometimes. I can't do it on demand, and I can't promise that I will be able to do it for any given person at any given time.

some links!

you can send me praise here!!!!

i write my stories on this neocities page now!

and here are some posts that are significant to me for one reason or another

this blog is a persona, a ranty short essay about identity, emotional freedom, masking and what it really means to know Me

my first real audio post!! oh my goddess this was so exciting!!!

on fear regarding human domestication guide, and on my hope to someday overcome it

some notes for the page!

if ive tagged a post with #pull my trigger! then that means im ok with ppl playing with my brain in the notes!! otherwise, please just message me directly. im always okie with dms.

posts with #mean rosie on them have me teasing/messing with/bullying (in a /lh way) other people~ don't ask me to do this to you unless it's like a reblog responding to me doing that to you or smth. i don't usually enjoy showing dominance like that. sometimes im just the flavor of brat that likes to tease people. other times i do kinda feel a little bit dominant but. meh. even then ill pretty much always slip down into good girl mode on the spot if anyone shows any dominance towards me, usually even more so than i would normally.

posts tagged #angel rosie are ones where im feeling especially subby/obedient, if you're looking for topics that will get me into good girl mode here's the tag to filter by

#rosie rambles and #rosie rants go on serious/out of theme posts, with the latter being for emotionally heavy ones

plspls ask me about my triggers, my kinks, etcetc!!! i love getting told to answer questions >w<

dni list

any adult is free to view my page. minors, please leave. im serious. that said, there are certain things that will get you blocked from interacting with my page, so if your blog falls into any of these categories please kindly just look, don't touch.

agepl@y

transphobes, and anyone else who doesn't think trans women are women

s!ssy, crossdressing and detrans themed pages. i have nothing against you for liking that stuff, but it makes me really uncomfortable because of some past experiences. please dni.

blank blogs, no age in bio or pinned, blogs that seem to just be spam reblogging everything, etc. sometimes this is case by case — "18+" is usually not chill, but "20s" or "30s" usually is. if you have nothing at all that's a nope. having a pfp is important, by the way.

blogs that just spam ai generated pictures. im sure youre chill, but ai pictures take the humanity out of your blog and frankly just look bad. posting one here or there on an otherwise human blog is thin ice, but i care a little less when there's other content too, as long as your other content is good.

my kinks, my limits my triggers

obviously im very very into hypnosis, especially intelligence play (aka dumbification), especially especially when there are bimbo themes involved. im also into everything on this list (in no particular order), but its definitely not exhaustive because theres things ive never tried before. please try new things on me!

light/medium bondage

pet play (as a kitty or a bunny, totes open to others but those are ones i luv)

spanking and other light pain, including light scratching/marking

being groped

praise and degradation, especially when its condescending

gentle doms (not that other styles are bad, but gentle+manipulative+condescending+possessive is my favorite)

other people picking my clothes

physical affection (headpats, scritchies, cuddles, kisses)

medical play (very specifically anesthesia, limited interest in other parts of it)

gaslighting

exhibitionism (especially when im being shown off)

behavior modification (especially clicker training!)

edging and denial

i have a voice kink for certain types of voices. generally my favorites are deep femme voices with really soft tones that get sharp to add emphasis to certain words like "drop" or "now". i also sometimes like higher softer masc voices, but deep or rough masc voices make me uncomfortable most of the time. if you want me to give you examples of hypnotists on the internet whose files i like, please send an ask or dm me.

when im in control (especially when it's about my audios!!!), i love being told how i make you feel, what you think of me, etc, so go on, feed my ego ;)

sooo yeah!! next are my soft limits — things i don't necessarily love but can tolerate in an otherwise fun context. please ask before acting on these because i would generally prefer to avoid them.

hypno audios narrated by text to speech — most of them are just grating and i can't relax with them.

"brainwashing" files that are just someone saying the same thing over and over with no induction or deepener or triggers or anything to put me under. i need to be in trance before that stuff does anything.

"hypnosis audios" that have loud music, or where the script is turned into a song. i've heard it done well maybe once or twice, i've heard it done wrong a million times.

hypnosis content as long form videos, especially when i need to read text in the video. my eyes get exhausted from staring at a screen for too long. i really really prefer audio, and text is good too, but videos longer than a couple minutes are rough.

and finally, here are my hard limits. please don't bring these things up. full stop. these are non-negotiable.

everything on my dni list

the drugs haloperidol/haldol, lorazepam/ativan and promethazine/phenergan

heavy pain

blood, knives/sharps, heavy scratching/marking

being asked/"forced" (i can and will block you if you're pushy) to send pictures or videos. audio is a hard maybe and very much depends on dysphoria at that moment and vibes. but yeah pictures and videos are a no-go.

being sent dick pics. please don't. im not into that. other pics are probably fine as long as you're chill.

extended degradation with no praise (i start having genuine self image issues past a certain point - i like being degraded, having my behavior changed, and then being praised as a reinforcement mechanism)

intox play, especially alcohol and weed. it scares me because of some past experiences. this is specifically about being intoxicated in the traditional sense (drunk/high), so like for example being sedated is something im cool with (and actually love the idea of)

feeding kink stuff

and here are some of my hypnotic triggers, in no particular order

"brain goes bye bye" melts my brain and makes it really hard to think

"control goes bye bye" takes control of my brain and my body away so that i just do as im told

"memories go bye bye" makes it really hard to remember anything for a while, which mostly just shuts my brain off. these first three are all from Miss Lilith, i love her files~ <3

"sleep" and "drop" both put me under, to varying degrees of success. might take multiple uses to really take me down deep, and really everything works better with a snap

"good girl" makes me happy and a tiny bit more obedient

"look here", "listen" and "focus" draw in my attention and make it hard to look away from/ignore whatever is being shown/said to me. they also usually make me more suggestible.

"lightning" makes me feel weak and dazed and when im like that "thunder" puts me under and gets me really floaty and fuzzy

"submit and obey" makes me obedient and super duper suggestible

i have a lot more, im just not remembering them all right now. theres probably dozens in my brain from all the files ive conditioned myself with over the years

[bullet-prooflove]

Slowdancing in the Parking Lot Prompt List

Please check the updated character list on my pinned post to see who I am writing for before submitting a prompt!

Also read the rules and do not forget to put the entire prompt into your ask!

I'm rememberin' I promised to forget you now

Singing for you darlin' in the same old way I first saw you

The last time I was in the back of a cop car I fell in love

Watchin' your red dress fall to the floor

Corner pocket at 12 AM

I'm undressing you in my head, my bed

Let's get some candles burnin' And some records turnin'

And the only thing I wanna do is find a spot Stop this car and throw it in park and get just Slow dance with you

My face on a cold window trying to sober up

I can still recall the words you said to me back then

All the lights down low take it nice and slow

But it's rainin', and I'm callin' drunk

Hoping for a slow song to come on the radio now

Midnight into morning with you

And if you leave just give me one more night

Let's lay in the dead grass Stare at the stars

So I've been thinkin' we need A little time alone

I ain't proud of all the punches that I've thrown

So whatcha say we cancel our plans? Tonight, I'm only gonna be your man

Right now he's got a bargain that he's taken too far

Getting close to you Making the most of whatever we got

I gave your name as my emergency phone call

The way your body's movin' Keep doin' what you're doin' To me all night long

Let's just leave here 'Cause there's nothing left to see

Honey, it rang and rang, even the cops thought you were wrong for hangin' up

I'll rot with all the burnouts in the cell

Writin' our love song

Love that look in your eye

And I still see you walking away And I tried to say I'm sorry

But she won't believe you When you fall down on your knees

We were more than friends from the start

Even if it's just a slow dance in a parking lot

I'm saving you from sharing All the things that I've been through

The things you're looking for Are the things I'll never be

And I don't care what song comes next I'm falling right here, 

Let the passion take us to a higher place Makin' the kind of love we make

Cause there's no one That you'll find that's quite like me

"Son, are you a danger to yourself?"

Ain't nobody get you like I do

What I'd give to have you back and in my arms again

Well, there ain't no way, baby To get me out this house When you look this good

"Son, why do you do this to yourself?"

Girl, I wonder, should we make another mistake?

She's wearing an old dress

And I couldn't find the words to make you stay

Let's wait, I swear she'll call me back

Next to me tonight That's the ecstasy I like

And do you want to take my broken heart?

Don't get me wrong No I don't want to hurt you

And I tried to keep you wrapped in my arms

He's sitting in the corner with a six pack of Corona

So listen to me girl You're just wasting precious time

Hiding all my feelings in the dark

I'd change that in a heartbeat just to feel your body

And I still see your fingerprints Running across my frostbit skin

You think you know me so well Who gave you the lowdown

[writeandsurvive]

Maybe we can get some Parker x pregnant!reader? Maybe with some angst? I love your writing so much

You asked for some angst, I shall deliver. 🫣 hope it's what you wanted!! Thank you for your kind words ❤️

(yes, I'm a bit obsessed with the band Måneskin)

Warnings: pregnant!reader, false alarm, hospital, bed rest, cheating, Alden screwing up big time, lots of crying

I wanna hate you ~ Alden Parker

You didn't know how you were going to go through this. It was supposed to be the most amazing time of your life, an incredible experience, but everything was ruined. Stroking at your belly, you kept replaying the past week in your mind and cried.

It was your second anniversary with Alden. You had plans to have an early dinner at the restaurant he took you two years ago and then go to a concert. Your boyfriend wasn't fond of the idea, as you're entering your third trimester, but you definitely wanted to. It was a band you've been dying to see for ages, got Alden to love their music, and luckily there was a specific area for disabled people and pregnant ladies like you. Everything would be perfect.

Except that you couldn't figure out what to wear. You spent hours trying on different outfits, some were maternity clothes that you hated, some were your usual clothes you didn't fit anymore. "Baby, I love you so much, but you make me so big." You told your unborn child. "I want to look pretty for your daddy, but nothing fits." You sighed, taking one more look at yourself in the mirror. Nope, not this outfit.

You changed one more time, to put the dress you had in the maybe pile. "I guess that could work with my doc martens." You tried to convince yourself. "It's gonna be your first concert, baby! I hope they'll play Coraline. Let's put it on." You grabbed your phone and played 'Coraline' by Måneskin, the band you were seeing tonight. You and Alden agreed to keep the gender a surprise till birth, but if it's a baby girl, she'd be named Coraline because of that particular song.

Listening to your Måneskin playlist, you finished getting ready. It was after putting on lipstick that you realized you still haven't heard about Alden. Checking the time and realizing how late it already was, you called him. No answer. You waited a few minutes and tried again. Same. "Alden, don't do this to me." Obviously, his work asks a lot, and you're very much aware of that, but Alden always makes a point to be there for the special occasion. He wouldn't miss it, unless there was an emergency. So, that's where your mind went.

You decided to text Kasie.

You: Hey boo! 😘 I was wondering if my man was near you or if there was an explanation as to why he's not answering?

Kasie typed, stopped, typed again and stopped. It took a few minutes to get an answer.

Kas: Hey babe ❤️ Sorry but I left the office a while ago, no idea where he's at! Wants me to ring him on Bandium?

You: Did everyone else leave too?

Kas: Idk, Parker was still there when I left.

You: Okay, thanks for answering love!

Kas: Of course, keep me updated. ❤️

An hour later, still nothing. No answer, no text, nothing. You should already be at the restaurant but instead, you didn't know where Alden was, what he was doing or even if he was okay. Your anxiety level was extremely high, which wasn't good for the baby. Kasie stayed on the phone with you and offered to pin his phone.

You gave in and told her to.

"Huh, that's weird." She said.

"What?! Where is he? Please don't tell me he's at a hospital or something." You were on the verge of crying.

"No no, not at all. He's like an hour away from DC. Got the address but it doesn't seem to be anything particular."

"What does it mean?"

"Well, do you know someone who lives on (address)?"

You thought for a moment. "No, no one! Can't you find out who lives there?"

"Pinning Parker's phone is already very unethical--"

"You're right, sorry. Thank you for doing this, I owe you one."

"You're growing my godchild inside of you, we're even." She managed to get a small laugh out of you despite the situation.

Everything went through your mind, you imagined every possibility as to what was going on, what happened to the father of your child. It was driving you crazy, you were pacing around the entire apartment, texting back and forth to his team, who had all left work a while ago after they closed their case. But somehow, you had this nagging feeling that they were hiding something from you. From the beginning of the relationship, you knew Alden couldn't tell you much about his job and you were okay with that. But that night, you were not. You needed to know.

You needed him.

By the time he finally came back home, you were a complete mess. You rushed to the door as soon as the noises of keys reached your ears. You jumped into his arms, the baby bump getting in the way. "Thank god you're okay!" You cried in his neck.

"I'm sorry, baby. I'm so so sorry." He hugged you back, as tight as he could. Your anxiety dropped down, as you were finally able to breathe again. No idea what happened yet, but at least he was there, alive and well.

You let go reluctantly and scanned him entirely, making sure he wasn't hurt anywhere. But what caught your attention was the tears in his eyes. His hands were resting on your belly, and the baby was clearly awake, probably aware that daddy was home. Alden dropped to his knees in front of you, kissing your bump, and apologizing over and over again.

"What happened, baby? Are you okay? Where were you?"

He looked up to you, tears rolling down his cheeks. You grabbed them softly, catching them with your thumbs. "Talk to me." You whispered, still crying too.

"I shouldn't -- I should've never --" he broke eye contact to press his forehead against your baby bump. "I'm sorry, to both of you."

After a moment there, you managed to get Alden to follow inside the apartment. Sitting on the couch, with a huge sigh of relief - it was getting harder and harder to carry this tiny human - Den dropped his head on your lap. You stroked his hair and waited for him to talk.

"I made a huge mistake." He finally said. "The biggest mistake of my life."

"What would that be?" Anxiety was coming back in a rush.

"Please don't leave me. Please, I will do anything for you--"

"Alden, you have to tell me what you did, right now."

"I slept with my ex."

And just like that, your entire world fell apart. Your heart broke into thousands of pieces. Silently, and quiet slowly, you pushed his head off your lap. Alden tried to hold onto you but knew he had to let go. His touch was the last thing you wanted at this very moment. You tried to stand up but your legs immediately gave up, finding yourself back on the couch but further from him. His reflex kicked him as he tried to catch you but you snapped his arms off. "Don't touch me." You couldn't look at him.

"I'm so sorry, baby. I know you hate me right now, but--"

"Shut the fuck up."

He did.

You stayed silent for a very long moment, tears of anger and heartbreak covering your cheeks. But the worst was what you were feeling in your lower abdomen. That pain was not normal. In your mind, you talked to your baby. "Honey, it's okay. It's gonna be okay. Stay inside." But you let out a muffled scream and curse when a sharper pain hit.

Alden was quick on his knees next to you, asking if there was something wrong with the baby. Between the long hours of waiting and now this, something wrong was definitely happening. "Drive me to the hospital."

Alden was asking a bunch of questions as he helped you to the car. You didn't understand any of them, as the pain was increasing and you were silently begging your baby to be okay, telling him and her that it was going to be fine. You hoped you could believe it.

"If anything happens to my baby, Alden, I want you out of my life, for-fucking-ever."

He stayed silent because nothing he'd say would be good enough.

~

It was the longest hours of Alden's life. He wasn't allowed in as the doctors were checking up on you and his child. Alone in the hallway, he cried. He wished he could be outside of his body to give himself a beating down. He deserved it. If you left him, he'd deserve it too. He screwed up, he ruined the best thing he ever had and for what? His first love he hadn't seen in over 30 years?

If anything happened to you and/or the baby, Alden would never recover. He'd never forgive himself.

He kept going over to the front desk, asking for news. He grabbed every nurse and doctor he saw. Finally, the nurse he remembered taking you in earlier came up to him.

"How are they? Where are they?" He probably looked like a lunatic, but didn't care. She invited him to sit down but he refused. "Tell me where are my wife and kid!" He yelled.

"They are fine, sir. I'll be taking you to them in a minute. We'll be keeping your wife here at least for the night and as of right now, she's on strict bed rest."

It was fine. He'd take the next three months off if he had to.

The nurse took Alden to you.

Laying down on the bed, with a monitor on your baby bump, you turned your head away when you saw him coming in. "God, I was so scared." He dried his tears off as he approached the bed. "Can I?" He asked, his hand a few inches from your belly. You nodded and he gently touched and stroked where the product of your love was. "How are you feeling?"

You let out a humorless laugh. "You fucking kidding right? I almost lost her, Alden!"

He locked eyes with you. "H--her?"

You sighed. "The doc didn't know I didn't know the gender." You explained.

"We're having a babygirl," his emotions were all over the place, he cried again.

You allowed him to stay after he begged, as long as he stayed silent. You wanted to sleep, feeling both physically and mentally exhausted, but it never came. You stayed awake, feeling Alden's presence on the chair next to your bed. He was looking at you, looking at your belly, looking at the machines. It was only when you saw him typing on his phone that you broke the silence. "Texting her while I'm next to you, Parker?" You asked, in the coldest ton you've ever used.

"God, no! Absolutely not! Baby, I --" he sighed and stopped what he wanted to say. "I'm just writing some stuff down so I don't forget." He showed you his phone but you turned your face away.

After another silence, as you were stroking your belly, you broke into tears. You cried like a baby, having no more self control. Alden didn't hesitate long before moving to the bed, and bringing you to his chest. The only reason you didn't push him off was that you didn't have the strength. "How could you?" You struggled to say.

"I don't know. I wish I could give you a reasonable explanation but there's none. I'm a fucking jerk who ruined the best thing that ever happened to him." He held you tight, breathing in your shampoo. "There's nothing I wouldn't do to get your forgiveness. If you just let me--"

"I hate you." You simply said.

A week later

Back home, you've been on bed rest per doctor's orders. Alden had taken some time off work, even though you didn't want him to. You wished you could just tell him off, leave the apartment, leave town even but you couldn't go anywhere with your baby girl inside you. Plus, as much as you hated his guts, he's your daughter's father, no matter what. You'd never let your girl grow up with her daddy.

Alden tried to talk to you numerous times but you always shut him off. He made sure you had proper meals everyday, and you forced yourself to eat for your daughter. He'd bring your favorite snacks and refill your water, leave flowers on your nightstand, and buy books. He offered you massages (turned them down), offered to brush your hair (turned him down), offered to play games to keep you busy (turned him down). And every afternoon, he'd play piano in the living room, making you cry every single time.

The only time you allowed him to stay near you was when he asked if he could read something to his daughter. He would grab a baby book and read it to your belly. Sometimes, your girl would be completely still, and other times, she'd move and kick around a lot. The only way for her to calm down? Feeling daddy's hand.

You wanted to hate him so bad, and a part of you really did. But when he was there, talking to his daughter, you couldn't. And it hurt.

Your sleep schedule was a mess and babygirl wasn't helping at all. It was 3am, you were utterly exhausted - yes, despite the bed rest -, and your daughter was taking your uterus for a gym. Or a dancefloor.

On the verge of a meltdown, you texted Alden who had been sleeping on the couch since the hospital. The guest room had already been turned into the nursery.

You: You sleeping?

Hearing his phone ping from the living room, it didn't take long until he was knocking at the bedroom door. "Are you okay? Do you need something?" He asked, after you told him to come in.

"I need you to calm her, please." He heard the exhaustion in your voice.

Alden walked over to the bed. "Is it okay if I lay down?"

"I guess."

He laid down next to you, above the covers. Despite the dark, you could sense he was in his useless night shorts and shirtless. You did hate him a little.

He put a hand in your belly, "Shh, babygirl. It's time to sleep now, mama is tired." He stroked your skin exactly where he felt a kick. "Hush, little baby don't say a word. Papa's gonna buy you a mocking bird. And if that mocking bird don't sing. Papa's gonna buy you a diamond ring..." He sang softly.

"Why did you do this, Alden?" You cried.

He took a deep breath. "I think I needed closure. I-- it was like 16 years old me took over and forgot everything else." You felt his free hand grabbing yours. "I know it's no excuse."

"It didn't have to involve sex."

"You're absolutely right." He squeezed your hand, his mind having a victory dance that you weren't pulling away. "It shouldn't have. I'm willing to do anything, my love. Jeremy gave me the contact of the therapist him and Josie went to, after the accident. Will you agree to give it a try?"

Your daughter was calming down. Daddy's power.

"Maybe." You answered.

"I'll take it." You heard him sniff. It'd be too easy and too soon to reach out for a hug, no matter how much you needed it. "I love the two of you more than anything in this world. I hate myself for what I did."

You didn't answer, couldn't.

You didn't realize how cold it was outside the blankets until you felt Alden shivering by your side. The man had been above the covers the entire time. "Get under the blanket, Alden."

"Are you sure? I may-- fall asleep here if I do,"

"It's fine. Just -- don't cuddle me."

He respected your barrier. You thought you heard him snore not too long after.

"I want to hate your guts so bad, but what they said is true. Sometimes, the person who hurts you is the only one who can make the pain go away. Don't ever hurt me again, please."

He wasn't asleep. He squeezed your hand as an acknowledgment.

[checkoutmybookshelf]

Rereading The Fellowship of the Ring for the First Time in Fifteen Years

The more of this book I read, the less reasonable it seems to call this a reread. I definitely internalized almost nothing of this book the first time around. This time around though, we have fun things like Gandalf army crawling around Rivendell to troll Pippin, Boromir being the single person of the big folk to actually be practically concerned about the hobbits in the wild, and a personified and deeply pissed off mountain. So let's talk chapter three, "The Ring Goes South."

Literally the majority of the time we spend with the hobbits in Rivendell is in meetings. We JUST got out of the council meeting--which was a hell of an infodump chapter and frankly my head is STILL spinning over it--and now the hobbits are in Bilbo's room having their own little meeting. This is also kind of where I'm really starting to see the big folk totally disregard Merry and Frodo's relationship and lump Merry in with Pippin, because it's not even a QUESTION at first that Merry and Pippin will go along with Frodo and Sam. Which like...again...MERRY IS SOLIDLY 95% OF THE REASON THEY MADE IT OUT OF THE SHIRE AND TO BREE SAFELY. GIVE THE HOBBIT THE DAMN CREDIT HE DESERVES!!!

I can't say I'm not enjoying the Gandalf trolling Pippin dynamic, but it's wildly unfair to lump Merry into that, and frankly I cannot wait until our hobbit gets to Rohan and gets his own little adventure, because he deserves it.

In the meantime, however, all points to Sam for gently calling out that they'll "just wait long enough for winter to come" before leaving Rivendell to start their quest. I grew up in Alaska, and I am EXTREMELY with Sam on this one. A bigass quest in the winter is doable, if you're prepared and know how not to die of stupid or exposure or cold, but it is going to SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.

I also deeply approve of Bilbo pinning the blame for THAT precisely where it belongs:

"That can't be helped," said Bilbo. "It's your fault partly, Frodo my lad: insisting on waiting for my birthday. A funny way of honoring it, I can't help thinking. Not the day I would have chosen for letting the S.-B.s into Bag End. But there it is: you can't wait now till spring; and you can't go till the reports come back."

The SHAAAAAAAAAAAAADE on Frodo giving Lobelia Sackville-Baggins Bag End on Bilbo's birthday there is amazing, and honestly this is an excellent point. That said though, it's also just a biiiiiiiiiiit harsh on Bilbo's part to blame Frodo for making a plan without full information. We do the best we can with the information we have at any given point, and I rather think that given his druthers--a a lack of Black Riders on the road--Frodo might have spent longer in Crickhollow and Bree, which could have meant that they would have been off on this trip in the spring. That would also have been entirely too late to do anything useful, but there you go.

We do just casually spend two months in Rivendell though, so it's literally the end of December before they get word that eight of the nine Black Riders were successfully de-horsed and de-cloaked by the rushing waters at the ford, which clears the party to officially form up and leave Rivendell.

I am not gonna lie, having largely grown up on the movies, I find it absofuckingloutely hilarious that Peter Jackson just kind of went, "Let's do 'I am Spartacus' during the council of Elrond to put the party together" and Elrond is basically like, "Nine companions...Cool beans!" And I have now discovered that the actual way this went down was a lot more "I am Elf Daddy, Hear Me Roar":

"And I will choose you companions to go with you, as far as they will or fortune allows. The number must be few, since your hope is speed and secrecy. [...] The Company of the Ring shall be Nine; and the Nine Walkers shall be set against the Nine Riders that are evil."

Ok, cool; they're an explicit parallel to the Black Riders. And thank you Tolkien for trying to subvert the dreaded movie title mention, even if Peter Jackson didn't take the hint and got cute with it (affectionately). I will say though, Elrond might have...ASKED FRODO if there was anyone in particular he wanted with him while he walked to hell. Like, this should have been a conversation, not a declaration. I grant, Frodo wouldn't have known all of what he'd need, but damn Elrond, way to not even bother to ASK.

Which is also why I am grateful Gandalf pipes up when Pippin insists that he and Merry are going. Because not only does Gandalf make up for the trolling a bit here, he also is willing to respect hobbits' desires more than LITERALLY ANYONE ELSE UP TO THIS POINT. Here's how this bit goes down:

"We don't want to be left behind. We want to go with Frodo." "That is because you do not understand and cannot imagine what lies ahead," said Elrond. "Neither does Frodo," said Gandalf, unexpectedly supporting Pippin. "Nor do any of us see clearly. It is true that if these hobbits understood the danger, they would not dare to go. But they would still wish to, or wish that they dared, and be shamed and unhappy. I think, Elrond. that in this matter it would be well to trust rather to their friendship than to great wisdom."

THEY ARE NOT CHILDREN JUST BECAUSE THEY'RE SHORT, ELROND. Frodo is like fully in his hobbit 30s, and everyone else is a legal hobbit adult. They get to make their own choices, even if your ass doesn't like them. And THANK YOU GANDALF for supporting hobbit agency at this time. Honest to christ, it's like big folk see small folk and go "child" and as a short woman (five foot one on a good day) this is deeply irritating to me. Height isn't some indicator of adulthood and intelligence. It's an indicator of HEIGHT.

And sure, even if the hobbits have no fucking clue what they're in for, that's not like...wildly unusual for newly adulted adults. We make all sorts of decisions in our early twenties (or have them made for us *glares in military drafts and student loans*) that we absolutely would not have made given more life experience. Like...welcome to adulthood, sit the fuck down Elrond.

Which he eventually does, we sort out the company roster, and everyone fucks off to go get kitted up.

Anduril just gets casually reforged so Aragorn can have a sword that is actually USEFUL on this leg of the trip. My favorite thing though? Absolutely has to be Bilbo's CASUAL DISREGARD FOR RIVENDELL'S ARCHITECURE:

"Here is your sword," he said. "But it was broken, you know. I took it to keep it safe but I've forgotten to ask if the smiths could mend it. No time now. So I thought, perhaps, you would care to have this, don't you know?" He took from the box a small sword in an old shabby leather scabbard. Then he drew it, and its polished and well-tended blade glittered suddenly, cold and bright. "This is Sting," he said, and thrust it with little effort deep into a wooden beam.

The absolute HELL I would have caught from literally everyone if I ever casually plunged a sword into someone else's house doesn't even bear thinking about. I also appreciate the casual hobbity disregard for Frodo's own sword. Like, it was broken, and Bilbo just...forgot to get it fixed? Part of me is like, "Well, he IS a hobbit," and the rest of me is like "THE FUCK YOU FORGOT, SIR. THIS IS A PLOY TO SET YOUR NEPHEW AND HEIR OFF WITH A SWORD YOU TRUST." Which is deeply relatable and honestly super adorably parental, especially since it is ABSOLUTELY Bilbo's fault that Frodo ended up in this position. (Yeah that might be harsh and it might ignore the Ring's own agency, but I stand by "magic rings shouldn't be passed down to unsuspecting nephews" thing.)

I do appreciate that Frodo gets Sting though, because that sword served Bilbo well in The Hobbit, and even I can appreciate the value of the inheritance that Sting brings to the quest in general and Bilbo in particular. Same with the Mithril shirt--although the word Mithril is not used in this chapter!!! Bilbo refers to it as dwarf-mail, and I would need to go back and look at The Hobbit to see if he knows it's Mithril there and I cannot currently be bothered.

What is really adorable is that Frodo takes one look at this thing--and its matching pearl and crystal belt--and goes "I should look - well, I don't think I should look right in it." And Bilbo AGREES!!! But it's darling, really, because he does the hobbitiest thing imaginable to get the protective gear on the nephew:

"Just what I said myself," said Bilbo. "But never mind about looks. You can wear it under your outer clothes. Come on! You must share this secret with me. Don't tell anybody else! But I should feel happier if I knew you were wearing it. I have a fancy it would turn even the knives of the Black Riders," he ended in a low voice.

The masterful parenting skills on display here. First, we validate the kid's feelings that yeah, it looks pretty stupid. But hey, nobody has to see, and it can be our cool little secret! And it would make me, your beloved, frail, old Uncle Bilbo feel better if you did. Do you WANT to get stabbed again? Because not wearing this is how you get stabbed again. This is literally just Bilbo running through the parenting manual at warp speed, and I kind of love it. Because ultimately, the Mithril goes on, and it will end up saving Frodo's ass.

Although admittedly it's not going to do much on Caradhras.

It then takes three and a half pages to get everyone out the goddamn gate, but a third of the way into this chapter, we do FINALLY get the fellowship setting forth. Before they can get out the door though, Elrond spends a weird amount of time going "EVERYONE IS A VOLUNTEER. THEY CAN LEAVE WHENEVER THEY WANT." It has very "Covering my ass to not get sued" vibes, and frankly while I appreciate the clarity--and yes, I get it, the choice to stay together is what makes the bonds strong more than some oath--CAN WE PLEASE GET THE HELL ON THE ROAD ALREADY???

It is getting toward January, so walking to the mountains is cold and windy and miserable but probably also deeply boring, so Tolkien kind of glosses over that until we get to the Misty Mountains and we get like fifteen names for each peak that I'm not spending time on because I don't care. The important thing is that we have to go up the Redhorn Gate on Caradhras and head for the Dimrill Dale, where we will descend the Dimrill Stair toward the Mirrormere and River Silverlode. Got it.

It does not take long for Aragorn to get anxious because the patterns of the land are disrupted, and I love that as per usual, when something important happens, it's Sam who is there. When the crebain pull their little flyover, it's Sam whose watch Aragorn shares, SAM who actually first sees the dark patch that heralds the spy birds, and Sam whose eyes we see them through. Sam is the keeper of knowledge for our hobbits, and I adore that this pattern is still standing strong, even if it means that these people can't stay secret or hidden for longer than a few days if their damn lives depend on it. Literally at no point have the forces of Mordor not known that the ring is moving, and they've generally had a rough sense of where it is too. Even Gandalf is over here going, "and I have no freaking clue how we're getting over the Redhorn Gate unseen, but we will burn that bridge when we get to it."

Unfortunately, by the time they actually do get to Caradhras, weather seems to be moving in, and Wizard Daddy and King of Gondor Daddy are fighting about the route and refusing to ask for directions:

"Winter deepens behind us, [...] the weather may prove a more deadly enemy than any. What do you think of your course now, Aragorn?" [...] "I think no good of our course from beginning to end, as you well know, Gandalf," answered Aragorn. [...] "But there is another way, and not by the pass of Caradhras: the dark and secret way that we have spoken of." "But let us not speak of it again! Not yet." [...] "We must decide before we go further," answered Gandalf.

But ultimately, they opt to go over the mountain, with Boromir super wisely piping up as the expert on traveling in deadly winter that hey, MAYBE THEY SHOULD BRING SOME FIREWOOD, because "it will not help us to keep so secret that we are frozen to death."

Like, Aragorn is a ranger, but he isn't used to these altitudes. Gandalf and Legolas aren't bothered by snow. Gimli is...a dwarf. But Boromir has probably seen people die in snow and cold, and I'd bet he knows that thanks to the weird thing where people who are smaller have higher surface-area-to-volume ratios and lose body heat faster. Boromir and Aragorn are big dudes, but the hobbits are literally child-sized. They're going to be in more danger from cold faster. So YEAH, bring the extra fire wood.

Oh, and hey, Gimli? THIS MIGHT HAVE BEEN THE MOMENT TO MENTION THAT CARADHRAS HATES ELVES AND WIZARDS. I PERHAPS WOULD NOT HAVE WAITED UNTIL YOU WERE EYEBALL DEEP IN AN UNNATURAL SNOWSTORM TO MENTION THIS.

Seriously, they get partway up this mountain, and Gandalf and Aragorn are still having a pissing contest about the route they're now actively on, Boromir is hypothesizing that Sauron is yeeting a blizzard at them, AND NOT A GODDAMN WORD FROM GIMLI until the next day when Boromir is hearing fell voices in the air and BIGASS STONES ARE FALLING ON THEIR HEADS. And even then, it's not the full explanation we'll get in another couple pages, it's:

"Caradhras was called the Cruel, and had an ill name," said Gimli, "long years gao, when rumour of Sauron had not been heard in these lands."

Like, sure, ok. It's a mean, grouchy mountain. BUT AGAIN, MAYBE WE COULD HAVE PICKED A DIFFERENT ROUTE IF WE KNEW IT SPECIFICALLY HATED ELVES AND WIZARDS.

This heralds probably the worst night that the company spends on this mountain. They have almost no cover, the snow nearly buries the hobbits, and had Boromir not been watching, they'd have fallen asleep and suffocated to death under snow or frozen to death. And it is SUPER clear that Gandalf doesn't understand how biology works, because in response to Boromir's "This will be the death of the halflings" (which, YEAH, no kidding!!!), Gandalf pulls out the Elven liquor. Specifically miruvor, or the cordial of Imladris, but that means jack to me at this point other than IT IS NOT ENOUGH TO KEEP THE HOBBITS ALIVE IN A MOUNTAIN BLIZZARD IN JANUARY.

Ultimately it's Boromir's foresight to bring some goddamn fuel and light a fire that keeps the hobbits alive, and frankly as someone who grew up where it could hit minus 50 Fahrenheit, Gandalf is no longer allowed to lead on mountains. If Boromir hadn't been there, they would have had four dead hobbits on their hands. Like, yes, eyes on the prize, but PERHAPS NOT AT THE EXPENSE OF THE LIFE OF THE RINGBEARER LESS THAN A MONTH INTO THE JOURNEY???

At this point, Gimli calls for, and is granted, a retreat, because the mountain is absolutely going to kill all their asses. Boromir again gets MEGA points for being the beefiest of beefy warrior men and breaking a trail to get everyone else down--WHILE CARRYING MERRY AND PIPPIN. Like, quite literally this bear of a man has one hobbit piggyback, one clinging to his front like a monkey, and STILL manages to keep clearing and widening the path for everyone behind him. And this goes on for like another day or two as they get off murder mountain.

Quite literally I am gonna need everyone to stop what they're doing and acknowledge that Boromir pulled everyone's asses out of the fire that Aragorn and Gandalf bickered them into. Like, I'm not gonna say this man was done completely dirty by the movie, because he gets little "protector of the hobbits' physical well-being" moments throughout, but HOLY TITS WAS THAT SCALED DOWN.

I think I'll leave it here, with Caradhras having quite handily handed the fellowship their asses, and Boromir being the only reason that the hobbits survived that little foray into mountain passes. Like, they gave it the old college try, and I'm sure that probably seemed like the least bad of all the shitty options for travel in front of them, but if anything was DESIGNED to murder the hobbits in their little hairy tracks, it was the angry, Elf and Wizard hating mountain that can yeet stones and whip up killer blizzards...

[ashamedart]

I'm trying out my first (kind of) g/t fic on here ahaha I'm so scared

Things not seen (title may change)

Chapter 1: The Demon

… the bell rings. Oh. I forgot I was in school… it’s the last period on the day before spring break, and it’s… terrifying. I’m graduating so soon... I snap back to attention and quickly start piling all my stuff in my backpack. A few mechanical pencils, lots of books, a sketchbook and a writing notebook… I don’t need half of the things I bring to school, but I still want to. And I feel like I should. I walk out the classroom door, avoiding eye contact with my teacher and classmates, and into the crowded hallway, packed with noise. I practically press myself against the walls to try to avoid physical contact. Thankfully, I make it outside without being trampled by the horde. It’s at one of those temperatures that makes it a bit too warm with my sweater on, and a bit too cold with it off. I feel a hand on my shoulder and jump, spinning around to be greeted by Fiona’s grinning face. She’s always been bolder than me in terms of the way she dresses, her outfit consisting of a pink sweater over a short black skirt, fishnet tights, and combat boots. There are little things in her hair, stickers on her shoes, and pins of games and shows all over her bag. I could never just have my interests on display like that…

“Oh. Um. Hi.” “Hi!!”

“Are we going to the tree today?” “I would love to, but… actually, I came to find you to tell you something… I’m gonna be gone for the whole break.”

My heart sinks, but I put on a smile.

“Really? Where to?”

“Ireland! My dad’s taking me to see my grandma and uncles.” Ireland!? She’s going to a different country!? But I was looking forward to spending the break with her! I had basically everything planned! “Oh, wow! Heh, lucky you… when do you leave?” “Uh… sometime soon?” “... like, today?” “Yeah.” “What?? That’s something you have to pay attention to!” “I dunno, my parents’ll let me know.” “You don’t know when you’re leaving! Don’t you need to pack or anything??” “Oh, I already did, like, a week ago.” “Thank goodness, why didn’t you say that??” “Why would I, you didn’t ask.”

“... I don’t know, but it would have been nice.” “You assume I wouldn’t-” There’s a muffled pinging sound. Fiona pulls her phone out of her pocket, sighing, and stops the sound. She opens her phone and I can see her looking at texts.

“What was that?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah. My dad pinged my phone because I missed some texts from him. Asking where I am. Guess it’s time to go soon.” “Already?? I thought you meant, like tomorrow!” “Nah, I guess it’s now. Hey, don’t worry, you’ll be fine on your own.”

“... I wasn’t thinking that.” “I know you-” Her phone pings again, and she has to once again stop the sound.

“Fuck, okay, sorry Mallory. I’ll see you when we get back, I guess! I’ll text you nonstop!” She gives me a quick hug and sprints off. … I’ll be without my best and only friend for two weeks. I’m not a very sociable person, but one friend was all I thought I wanted and needed. Turns out, it just means I have nothing to do when she’s gone. … what do I do now? Just… go alone? … I guess. Better than being home all break. I slowly begin to make my way to the treeline behind the high school. Even though I’ve done it so many times before, it feels… wrong, going alone. I walk down the slightly beaten path to the treehouse. I put ribbons in the bushes and trees to mark the way to go, but I’ve done this so many times that I don’t even need them anymore. I recognise each tree, every patch of flowers, the creek flowing through the path…

And there it is.

A giant oak tree with a large treehouse resting in its branches. There’s a woven swing hanging from a limb, a hollow on one side with pillows and blankets piled in it, a ladder leading up to the 10 foot tall door, as well as the platforms around the tree. It’s a big treehouse, with a high ceiling, a balcony, closet, windows, and trapdoor to the roof. I didn’t build it, of course, I just found it and repaired it with Fiona and her mom. It really is beautiful, I could just stand here for a while. But I won’t, I didn’t come here to stand here and stare at the treehouse, I came here to go inside. I move to grab the rungs of the ladder, but freeze halfway there. It sounds like something’s up there. I feel my heart skip a beat. Slowly and quietly, I ascend the ladder and creep over to the door. I have to cover my mouth to keep myself from screaming, and duck out of the doorway. There is someone in there. Or, something… it isn’t human… whatever it is, it has a humanoid shape, but is way too big to be a human. … it’s flipping through my notebooks. My blood boils over with rage, despite the lingering fear. How DARE it!? Without thinking, I stomp into the treehouse and look around, picking up a fairly large stick and hurling it at the thing.

“WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!? GIVE ME THAT!!”

It pauses, and its gaze slowly shifts to me. I freeze, fear filling my mind as I realise what I did, but I try to hold my ground and seem somewhat intimidating.

“... th-that’s m-mine…”

Shit, I’m stuttering… it rises to its feet and approaches me. I instinctively back away until my back hits the wall…

“S-stay back!”

It continues in its approach, coming to a stop right in front of me, absolutely towering over me. I want to scream, run, shut my eyes, but I can’t move, other than trembling. It holds out its hand, the one with my sketchbook in it. … is it actually giving it back?? I glance between its face and the book in its hand, before quickly snatching it and stepping back. It also steps back. It’s huge, at least twenty feet tall, with tan skin, pink hair, and icy blue eyes with black sclera. It has a thick reptilian tail with a tuft of pink hair at the end, two small black horns, and I’ve caught glimpses of claws on its hands and sharp behind its lips. I have no idea what it could be…

“Is this your house?

… it talks. … I did not expect it to talk. Its voice is fairly deep with no real distinctive gender, but does possibly sound more feminine. I take a deep breath and try to talk.

“Y-y-yes…”

Still stuttering….

“Oh. … I’m sorry I was in here, then. I just smelled something good…”

Smelled something..? I glance over at the shoe box of snacks in the closet. Maybe it’ll leave if I give it something. Or at least be less likely to kill me...

“... my, uh… m-my snacks? Y-you can h-have some.. i-in the cl-closet…”

It walks over to the closet and takes the box down. It glances back at me before hesitantly opening it and looking through it. I cautiously take a step closer to the giant…

… it’s wearing clothes. I hadn’t registered that before, likely due to shock, anger, and/or fear.. but it is. A black cloak, jeans, boots, and… glasses. Where did it get glasses? Wait, where did it get any clothes that fit it? Why am I wondering this about it? … what do I think I should be wondering about it? It pulls out a plastic baggie of homemade chocolate chip cookies. I forgot I had those. I made them a few days ago. They’re a little lopsided, but still pretty good.

“What are these?”

… really? It doesn’t know what cookies are?? … it’s baffling, but it does make some sense. I don’t know where it would have access to cookies, being a giant monster…

“... th-those? Cookies? Th-they’re, uh, sweet f-food?”

It stares at me for a moment before looking back down at the bag and taking one of the cookies out of the bag and examining it. It hesitantly raises the treat to its mouth and takes a bite. Its eyes widen and I can see its face light up…

“WHERE DO YOU GET THESE!?”

Ow- oh wow it’s loud..

“I-I, uh… I made them…”

“You can MAKE these!?”

“Yeah? Just, uh, flour, sugar, sometimes chocolate, a few other things, and heat it up.”

“What’s chocolate?”

It quickly finishes the rest of the cookie. … it doesn’t know chocolate either, huh… how am I supposed to explain chocolate to someone that’s never had it? It’s such a unique flavour…

“Chocolate is, uh… how do I… th-there’s a box of chocolate at the bottom of the box somewhere… the big plastic-wrapped thing. .. brown.”

It digs through the box for the bar of chocolate, slowly removing it from the container. It glances back at me again. It struggles a bit, figuring out how to go about opening the wrapper with its large hands, but does get it pretty fast, tearing off the wrapper and biting a small piece off the corner. You could practically see the stars in its eyes, its tail thumping against the floor. I instinctively recoil at the sound, but… it suddenly seems much less intimidating…

“I think I LOVE chocolate!!”

“Yeah, it’s, uh… pretty good… you’ve really never had any chocolate before..?”

“No. I can’t really just walk into wherever you get it.”

… that’s… fair. A giant… demon thing (?) anywhere too close to the town would be a disaster… I watch it finish off the rest of the chocolate bar in one bite.

“... what are you..?”

“Wh- me? … uh… honestly, the best answer I can give you is ‘a monster…’”

“So… you don’t… know?”

“I’ve never seen another thing like me, and humans definitely don’t know what I am, so nobody’s ever told me…”

That’s… kind of sad… I wonder where it came from, what its life is like… I let out an involuntary yawn. Everything that’s happened today has been pretty exhausting… it’s probably starting to get late, too… I pull out my phone to check the time. The numbers across the lock screen reading 6:26. … it’s 6:26! I was supposed to be home almost 30 minutes ago!! No, I almost never come home more than a minute late!

“... is something wrong?"

“I-I was supposed to be home a while ago…”

“... isn’t this your house?”

“Oh, uh- no, I don’t live here. I guess it is my house, but I don’t live here, I only come here a lot. I live somewhere else. And my mom’s gonna be pissed that I wasn’t there half an hour ago…”

… it stares at me for a moment, then gets up and starts to descend the ladder. I don’t know if I want it to leave or not…

“A-are you leaving?”

It holds its hand up to me from the ground and smiles. … should I…

“Do you want me to take it..?”

Its smile grows wider. I guess I’ll take that as a ‘yes.’ I walk out of the doorway and glance cautiously between its face and hand. I don't really trust it, but... I cautiously place my hand in its much larger one. … it suddenly grips my arm and lifts me off my feet, lowering me down onto its shoulder. I let out a startled squeak and wrap my arms around its neck as my feet touch the fabric of its cloak, terrified once again.

“So, which way’s your house?”

“Uh… th-that way…?”

I say shakily and point in the general direction of my house. I’ve been here so many times, I know the way back. … is it going to take me there..?

“Alright, hold on!”

"wh-"

Before I can fully register its words, it sprints off in the direction I pointed it in. I shut my eyes and press myself against its head, my cheeks hot and heart beating fast, afraid to open my eyes and see myself falling… It’s terrifying, but… the cool evening air, warmth of the creature under and next to me, wind against my face and hair… it’s exhilarating… and oddly comforting… I slowly open my eyes, squinting them in an attempt to block out the wind rushing at them. It’s going so fast, things are rushing past me in a blur. I have so many questions and theories about it… I see my house appearing through the treeline.

“Ah- th-there! Stop here!”

It comes screeching to a halt, the momentum causing it to fall forward onto its face, and myself to fall off its shoulder and land in the dirt. I push myself upright  and brush myself off, looking over at the creature. It groans and sits up, cleaning its glasses off on its sweater. I softly laugh at the sight, and it smiles awkwardly at me.

“I probably shouldn’t go any further…”

“Yeah, people would really freak out, wouldn’t they? … w-well, uh… goodbye… I guess…” I don’t know what else to say. I turn and begin walking to my house when it puts its glasses back on and speaks for the last time.

“Emory.”

I turn back towards it.

“... what?”

“Ah- my name. It’s Emory.”

Emory. It’s a strangely human name for them, but it’s nice. It fits.

“Emory… it’s nice to meet you. I’m Mallory.”

They smile and wave at me, before slowly disappearing into the darkness of the surrounding woods… 

*******************************************************************

... wow. It’s hard to believe any of that just happened… I’m so tired… I turn back towards my house and prepare myself for what’s going to happen when I cross the threshold of the front door. And I approach. I stand before the entrance to my house, heart pounding. I reach into my pocket to pull out my phone and check the time again, as if I thought it might have somehow gone back. 6:31. … I steel myself and place my hand on the knob to slowly turn it, just opening the door a crack, attempting to sneak in as quietly as I can. The sound of the door creaking and clicking shut echoes through the house, seeming loud as thunder. I can already hear the sound of her green slippers stomping against the floor, approaching  from the living room, and wince. When I turn, I can practically see the smoke pouring out of her ears like a tea kettle. I flash a sheepish smile and force a small wave.

“H-heeyy, mom…”

“Excuse me?? Take this seriously, I was worried! WHERE have you BEEN!? You never come home this late without letting me know first!”

“I know. I’m sorry, I just lost track of time…”

“NO. You don’t ‘lose track of time,’ you’re always here early! So what happened? Why didn’t you tell me?? Was it that friend of yours? Were you at a party?? Did you do drugs!? Is there a boy!?” “What!? Mom, no, I hate parties. And Fiona isn't bad... I’m telling the truth, I was just reading and lost track of time…” I really hope I don't look like I'm lying. Besides, I don’t even like guys. Not that I would ever say that in front of her. I have do idea how she would react. She narrows her eyes at me, having to look up a bit. “Well. This is your first strike. I’m trusting that you’re telling the truth because I believe you’re a good kid who wouldn’t do that. But, you still got home very late, so no dinner, and get to your room.” “Yes, ma’am…”

I quietly begin to ascend the stairs to my room. I hated that. I hate that she treats me like a fucking child who can’t take care of herself. I know she loves me, and she’s just protective, but it can be humiliating… I slam the door shut behind me and wince, hoping she didn’t hear that. … thankfully, I don’t hear anything but my dad’s snoring coming from the other room. He tends to work a lot and sleep in. I feel kind of bad for him. … I might go to sleep early, too… everything that happened today has been exhausting… I flip the lights off and turn on the white noise machine. With all the noise from the other room, I need it to sleep. I climb up onto my bed, not bothering to change into pyjamas, just throwing off my shirt and skirt. I lie down and cover myself with the blankets, and as I stare up at the glowing stars stuck to my ceiling, my brain runs through today’s events. Was that even real..? My mind feels so fuzzy now as my eyelids fall over my eyes.

Ugh... I’m so… tired…

So I'm a very beginner writer, I'm not great at coming up with names, and I feel like this story might be too rushed. I am okay with and encourage constructive criticism. I am in love with these characters and they will appear again on here :D

[prettysymbiosis]

I’ve been trying to get these thoughts out for days but basically I feel like the unifying theory of s16 (as I see it) is a conscious exploration of the dichotomy between sunny as a classically bold and brash pee pee poo poo comedy and sunny as a thoughtful, nuanced and subtle show about flawed people and also about itself, at times (by that I mean the meta isn’t always about macdennis or the other characters but about sunny itself - win an award, clip show, big mo, etc). the trailer actually captures this dichotomy well through the dialogue clips and animations, as well as the pinned comment which said “get ready for a whole lot of subtlety.” it’s still so baffling to me that sunny can simultaneously read as one of the most loud, obnoxious, unsubtle shows ever on television, OR it can be so subtle and allegorical in the writing of later seasons that most viewers would think people like us are crazy for reading so much into it even though we’re really not. this kind of self-reflective flavor is another product of the rewatch/podcast project which has been almost universally agreed to have had a very positive effect on the writing.

anyway having said that, I want to just share my notes on the first two episodes without trying to edit them too much. I’m bolding the points that I personally haven’t seen anyone else mention yet and putting a 😎 next to ones that evoke a Classic Sunny VibeTM because that’s important to the experiment of this season.

the gang inflates

macden fun/domestic/DUMB again 😎

something something never committing to the couch when it was absurd not to and it ended up costing them so much macdennis blah blah

dennis hanging up on dee was so funny to me oops 😎

and the WHOLE dee (as a character and specifically the female character) thing about being minimized to an absurd degree. I like to think the bog was a turning point for dee and the show is gonna do better by her now hopefully by recognizing her plight in a more serious way, like the way the guys have been doing?

are mac and dennis…… you know…… like for real??? as many have said, it could totally be revealed kind of retroactively to undercut the shock and be like “honestly we’re surprised you didn’t notice sooner” I feel like that is something rcg would do. suggestive clues:

“I don’t wanna talk to you about–” “a TON”

or is dennis like well that’s news to me jealous vibes??

“I figured you were man” ??

“I’m getting a little concerned about our nut”

“you truly have no reason to be sleeping with frank”

they specifically put a lil reaction shot of dennis after mac says “that’s a lotta blowin” a la the lil grin in gets romantic and, well, I just think that’s a choice that was made

“it’s not homophobic” is that so?????

when mac is like “you think we got rid of our furniture too soon/that the business plan won’t work” it’s kinda like no it’s not the committing to what they have, it’s that mac still has big denial problems and dennis can’t work with that… maybe? but so does dennis tbh

in a show-meta sense it’s like, we should be less worried about whether the gay gay-ass love story will alienate people and more worried about how these characters are too ridiculous to even let the love story play out effectively. they need mental health days if we are ever to have nice things

it’s possible mac denying his reaction to the allergy has to do with his body dysmorphia?

also it occurred to me that maybe part of why rob is clean-shaven this season is so they could do those prosthetics more easily?

those handprints though…. I hate everything

oh also just the bed scene. its existence

the zoomed in neck touch of course

“I’m not going to do it!” “..okay” dennis keepin his cool :)

mac’s shirt! COOLER HEADS PREVAIL

just the sheer silliness of inflatable furniture - is there some metaphor here lol?

in a general sense could inflates be taken to mean flanderizes? also maybe it’s just implied but I noticed I hadn’t actually seen anyone mention inflation as a sexual kink and like, that was part of the intention right? if so, 😎

charlie “uhhhhhhhh… yep.” poor charlie :( he doesn’t want to live in a maze (like a rat)

“well then you’re just like being a predator” :( so here for charlie calling out bullshit with frank and mrs. mac and even his own mom so far in these first two eps

charlie just giving up and yelling in frustration which is kinda what bonnie does in ep2 (and ep3 based on trailer)

the gross horny male objectifying thing 😎

rob put his whole pussy into this episode

charlie saying “I don’t get why he doesn’t take me seriously” and dee saying “that’s gotta be maddening” 🙃

cats in the alley my loves 😎

gluing dee a pillow on the wall <3

“consider it an offering” “of war??” this says so much. must everything be a conflict?

charlie’s hair looks so crazy and good in the sleepover scene and also he’s so smart

charlie asks frank to “return everything to the status quo” by the end of the episode, sitcom style. full reset, no progression. except charlie is asking that frank not endlessly take advantage of the fact that mac and den can’t figure their shit out, not totally push dee out just because it’s easy, not make light of the trauma charlie has from what happened to him. all that stuff IS the status quo! so what is he really asking for? this is one of the bits of writing that I think is also about the show as a show, and how they’ve approached these dynamics forever. 

it’s funny that people are saying this season is such a return to form because it is, but it’s also so much more self-aware of what that form is/was and how deeper elements can coexist within it. they’re really walking with a foot in both worlds here and they’re doing it well. love this for them and for us, the people who know what it’s always sunny in philadelphia is REALLY about

“we’ll take you to the hospital, and they’ll have nuts. and you can– you can die there.” hahahah

[yakool-foolio]

Okay, now on the other end of things

Morality wise, what about the NDA? Like they're the "good guys" in the story but who's the morally best and worst in your opinion? Also Kurumi as well if you want, because she kind of counts as am honorary NDA member ig?

Ooooooooh man this is a whole other can of worms, isn't it? Ranking the peacekeepers on their morality is much more cut n dry, but there's a whole lot more to think about when discussing the much more nuanced ethics each detective has. So to not devolve into too much chaos, I'll once again only be basing my ranking off of what is seen in canon in the game, so no talk of Number One Yuma (though that is definitely its own decisive topic, which will become evident soon). And as usual the list will go from best to worst, so we'll ease ourselves in before really diving into the nuance.

To start us off is the lovely Fubuki! Oh, you sweet summer child. The most morally sound out of all the detectives. Not a single bad bone in her body. She may be uneducated about many things in the world, but that doesn't stop her from being inherently kind and sweet, even with her unconventional compliments.

Next in line is Halara! I was honestly a little conflicted on whether they would be placed above or below Desuhiko, but I after some thinking, I believe Halara has the moral high ground. Obviously their stinginess and greed lowers their score, but the road is paved with good intentions. The reason they ask for so much money is so they can put it toward a program to help save cats! Even though they have trust issues with people, they care deeply about animals. And once they do gain some trust in human allies like Fubuki and Desuhiko, they say that their companionship is considered enough payment for the time being when partaking in casual investigations.

Climbing down to the next rung is Desuhiko. He's definitely got some issues with his ethics regarding his flirtatiousness. He is not afraid to flirt with any woman he meets and that is not good. Thankfully, he doesn't necessarily force any interaction and does back off when scolded or ignored enough, but that doesn't make his words any less uncomfortable. He needs to learn some self control or else he's gonna get a boot to the head.

Now here's where things get really interesting. Vivia takes third place in moral deviance. This is without going into the possible meanings of the teardrop tattoo, god forbid I bring up the idea of him murdering someone or being part of a gang; things would get much worse if I did. Even then, Vivia's overreaction to Yuma's determination to expose the truth definitely sits him firmly on the lower end of the ranking. He threatened to kill Yuma just so they could go back to living in blissful ignorance of Yakou's involvement in the case. He only resigned from his murderous intentions after hearing Yakou's spirit, calming him down and making him realize that he can't turn away from the truth and has to believe in his heart (kinda gay ngl). Vivia as a whole is harder to exactly pin down with his moral grayness regarding honesty, but ya can't really ignore the intention to slit someone's throat open, can ya?

And now we reach the actual murderer: heyo Yakou. Despite all the manipulation pulled by Yomi and Makoto, Yakou didn't have to kill Huesca. He did it for vengeance and atonement, leading all his detectives into the lion's den in order to execute his plan. Despite taking advantage of his allies, he undoubtedly had good intentions and is a very good soul overall. He wanted to bring justice to his wife who died because of an absolutely awful man and make up for not being able to save her. But murder is still murder, regardless of motive (I would say to put a pin in this, but I don't need to when the topic is coming up again right around the corner).

And here's the actual mass-murderer: Yuma! Now I know this may come as a shocker (or not depending on how much this game has been rotating in your brain like it has with mine), but Yuma is far from innocent, as much as we love to call him 'baby.' With the help of Shinigami, Yuma has killed many culprits. It can be argued that the very first reaping of Hitman Zilch doesn't fall under the same umbrella of awareness of his crime, but he still killed him! And afterward, Yuma made the decision to enter the labyrinth knowing that the culprits would die. He didn't have to use the labyrinths. It's especially egregious in chapter 3 when help was already on the way and would've put a stop to Dominic smashing Yuma to bits since they had the culprit with them! A death could've been avoided, but hindsight is not Yuma's Forte. And like I said, this isn't even talking about the corrupt fuckery of the WDO and what Yuma might've done as Number One.

[spunsugarmusings]

Mun's Playlists Starter Sentences: Yandere Edition

From the mixed-up playlists of the creator of spunsugarmusings, here's a lyric starter meme based on the theme of yanderes. Trigger warnings for stalking, violence, kidnapping, murder, and blood. Change pronouns as necessary! Some of these songs DO contain gendered pronouns, and some have been edited for clarity!

"Sweetheart, please don't yell at me."

"It really isn't hard to see the truth that's rotting underneath."

Do you really think I'm out of line tonight?!"

"If you play my game, she might just make it out alive!"

"I'm not asking much, just give me your heart and put no one else above me."

"Go on, say you love me!"

"Without you my life means nothing!"

"I'll always see behind your smoke and mirrors."

"I know you love me deep inside."

"You're simply caught up in her lie, so I will cut you free myself."

"If you still won't accept it, you're gonna regret it!"

"I will devour your soul and make you wholly mine, so that you will belong to me for the rest of time."

"I want you to know that I only do this out of love."

"You're creepy when you're kind."

"You'd kill for me?"

"I'm a doll in your hands."

"You chucked me out like I was trash, for that you should be dead!"

"They're keeping you away from me!"

"They made you blind, messed up your mind, but I can set you free!"

"I was meant to be yours."

"You were meant to be mine! I am all that you need!"

"Sure you're scared, I've been there!"

"Please don't leave me alone. You were all I could trust "

"I'm a collector of beautiful things."

"I capture and keep them and pin down their wings."

"She will be my most precious prize."

"I have collected a beautiful dream."

"Cutting you up will be so refreshing for me."

"Laughing gas can be so much fun!"

"I just feel the need to be getting a little of you and a lot of bloodletting."

"This is no orthodox beheading!"

"I'm all out of hurt, you used up all I've got!"

"Everything you do, I'm obsessed with you."

"I don't mean to scare you, but you're just so cute!"

"I wanna cut you up and put you in my oven just to bake."

"I'd love to wipe these other bitches out so it's just you and me."

"The thought of caring for anyone makes me want to scream."

"Should I be scared?"

"You were comforting and quiet, how did love become so violent?"

"Everything was so sweet, until you tried to kill me."

"You never seem to notice when I follow you home."

"Just know I'm not the sinister type."

"I murdered half the town and left you love notes on their headstones."

"You die like angels sing."

"I want you stuffed into my mouth."

"But love, I'd never hurt you."

"I was born only to share my love with you."

"You are mine and we will never be apart!"

"Do anything, I won't refuse! Just to prove I love you more, don't you see?"

"I will burn in the flame every trace of her name!"

"I'll make you see, force you to be in love with me externally."

"Can't you see, you belong to me?"

"Goodness you're bleeding, what a wonderful feeling!"

"Tasting your blood means I love you!"

"Do you wanna let me tie you to the back of my Ferrari?"

"Will you let me cut your head off if I tell you that I'm sorry?"

"You're mine and I'm yours! If I'm sick, you're the cure!"

"I can't be sorry when her ending was overdue."

"Don't wanna come on strong, but babe, my patience is nearly gone."

"The only one worthy to be with you's me."

"When I'm done there won't be anybody left to stand between you and me."

"You'll be my local hero, you'll be my role model, and don't fail me now."

"I'm your biggest fan, it's so good to finally meet you!"

"Don't you think I deserve better after all that we've been through?"

"I will love you liked you died a martyr for me."

"Don't look so shocked, it's not the way I planned it!"

"Don't you fight back!"

"This'll hurt less if you just submit!"

"They don't know you, not like I do."

"One day you will learn to love me."

"One day you will thank me, you'll see."

"If I can't have you, no one can."

"Only you and I were meant to be forever."

"I would be the one to hold you down, kiss you so hard, I'd take your breath away."

"You speak to me in riddles and you speak to me in rhymes."

"My body aches to breathe your breath."

"Your words keep me alive!"

"Nothing stands between us here, and I won't be denied!"

"I've been thinking about you all the time, hope that's alright."

"My god, what a sight, to see you dancing around the room like you're alone!"

"I can't let you know, 'cause I need you so!"

"If you look into my eyes, you'll see the recipe is true!"

"The key ingredient is you!"

"Just remember, darling, through the years; you belong to me."

"Play along, they'll move onto somebody new."

"Save your complaints 'til they're gone and won't hear."

"You deserve your own picture frame."

"It would be a shame if you were to break."

"Formaldehyde ensures that you will stay the same."

"You used to fly so high, or was that just the lie?"

"Let's keep you safely locked away."

"Even if you run, I will find you."

"I decided I wanted you; now I know I need you."

"I couldn't help myself, I just took you."

"Better make yourself at home, you're here to stay!"

"Never leave my side."

[punkeropercyjackson]

Here's the downlow on the 'You can't be punk if you have [interest here]!!!' and 'You're gatekeeping punk by saying i can't like [same thing] and be a part of it!!!' discourse:There are many ways to be punk.There are many things that can make you inherently NOT punk unless you change them about yourself.I'm gonna use myself as an example so you can understand what i mean with specifics:

I'm afrolatina.I'm extremely feminine,pastel,super goofy and i wear skirts and stockings and sweaters and do my makeup in 2000s styles.I'm autistic and some of my special interests are kidcore and the indie genre,including listening to stereotypical transmasc/nonbinary bands like The Front Bottoms and being fandoms like Adventure Time and MLP.I haven't been able to go to protests or deface public property yet because my current living situation would put my life at risk if i did.None of this makes me punk nor disqualifies me from it

I've read a lot of punk history and will continue until i literally can't find stuff i haven't.I'm a socialist.I'm learning to diy.I listen to punk music.Because of all the restaurant chain boycotts that have been going on,i've stopped buying from the ones i used to go to and looked up recipes on how to make their foods so i can still eat them but not give them support and similarly,i've decided to buy all my merch from media i like either secondhand or much preferably fanmade so i can support small artists with a focus on ones of color and trans and disabled ones.I save up spare money and have lied to my relatives to get them to give me more so i can donate to causes.I spread awareness about people in need so others can help them too.I do my best to be as respectful as possible in a humanizing way to minorities i'm not a part of and have erased my conservative family's teachings

I plan to get piercings,a battle jacket from a thrift store and load it with patches i made and pins bought from punk bussinesses and my current style is inherently gnc by virtue of me being both a man and a woman and i'm gonna present pastel punk specifically and that'll make it even moreso.I'm a firm believer in rights for all minorities with children being one of the main one's because i'm an eldest sibling and that made it so i ended up befriending a lot younger people enough that we consider eachother siblings too and a few of them even call me their parent because their actual ones are abusive and that's what made me go so hard for children's rights to begin with,especially since in almost all their cases it was motivated by them queer or neurodivergent or so forth,and a few of them have gone punk too because i inspired them to.This makes me punk and the first part dosen't invalidate that in any way,it's just another part of who i am because i'm a human person and therefore multifaced

And that's just the thing-Hobbies and tastes and most styles aren't inherently punk.There's tons,TONS of punk subgenres for a reason.Yes,they're are ones that make it so you can't be punk and yes,there's also ones that would you make a dumbass if you said they're the same as that.Punk has rules.You can be punk and be edgy,femme,indie and everything inbetween.You CAN'T be punk if you don't actually have our ideologies and do our cultural requirements because punk is not a universal heritage.You're not unpunk for not living up to the most popular imagine of us even though you have the personality and fufill the actions.You're unpunk if you prioritize fitting in over being kind and don't help out minorities to prioritize oppressors even though they're the ones you're supposedly fighting for and cry 'cencorship and purity culture' when people think you're gross for having age/raceplay and incest and noncon kinks and sexualizing minors even if they're not 'real' or it's 'just pretend' when there's actual harmful cencorship and when purity culture is about christians historical abuse of young women using their sexualities against them to cater to men.Los Punkeros son asunto serio,no mamen

[astronnova]

Hello! I hope your week is fine. I'd like to ask, in your reblog of Wukong's Mess, you mention that Macaque is being hypocritical, especially during the mountain prison fight. Can you elaborate on that? I'd also like to know your opinion on Sun Wukong, and why his side of the story has been silent and unspoken for so long. Eat you fruits and sleep early!

Side note: do you think, in Shadowplay, the story that Macaque tells us, is in actuality similar to what happened with MK and SWK when the latter witnessed LBD's return, a vision of MK being burned, which spurred him on mission to stop her while keeping MK in the dark about the reason for his "trip" in s2 beginning?

hi hi!!!! i'm doing good!!! hope ur doing well too :333 thanks for ur question!!

this got longer then i thought it would. also wanna write up a short disclaimer that no, i don't hate macaque. i like him alot, he's one of my favorite characters, but he's also a really bad person LOL and im just writing about the fact he is. i like that he's a flamboyant asshole, that kind of character is fun to me.

macaque has shown a lot of hypocritical moments during the show, some of the more memorable ones being in season 4, though he's done this before.

s4ep10 when macaque gives his (questionable) advice to MK and talks about how LBD and azure have been trying to get in his head and a bit about how MK's grown paranoid about that. totally not gonna mention that macaque was the one who originally turned MK into a more dependent and paranoid guy. nope. let's not talk about that at all. he's such a freak goblin

macaque insists that wukong left him behind or abandoned him during shadowplay and in season 3, but in season 4 we learn that macaque was the one to leave wukong under the mountain when wukong needed him most.

during their argument under the mountain, wukong says "...because you always rush to my rescue!" while he's upset. mean thing to say, but it's built in some truth if macaque's actions from the show are anything to go by. at every major conflict he's apart of, he flees to save his own skin. we love a cowardly weido! #slay. macaque counters this with "no, that's you! you're the one that's always running off, looking for more sources of power, sources of immortality!" which also has some truth to it, but the difference is wukong hasn't been fleeing any battles to leave macaque, he's been training and climbing the ranks in heaven to grow stronger to protect macaque and the mountain.

when macaque says "not the great sage, he's got to drag everyone else into his mess!" he's retroactively trying to take the blame of the attack on heaven off himself and the brotherhood and place it completely on wukong. macaque's acting as if he was unwilling and forced into the attack when he could have said no at any time. he's acting as if wukong forced everyone to help him when in reality to plan was mostly azure's, wukong was just their strongest fighter and the one who ultimately led the charge. macaque has a habit of doing this though, removing himself from a problem while pointing the blame at wukong. put a pin in that

wukong even says back to macaque that "you're not in this mess! you're still free!" which is. completely true. macaque's fine, wukong's the one paying for the entire brotherhood, including macaque's, involvement in the attack. and macaques out here yelling at wukong for it as if he isn't gonna be here for what he thinks to be eternity. macaque's fine, is what im trying to say here. macaque's not payin' for jack shit. wukong even says right after that that all of his training and "running off" was him working to protect the mountain and macaque. he says "everything i did, i did it for us!" and then macaque shuts him down and calls him selfish again, even though its pretty clear (with knowledge from jttw AND lmk) that what wukong's saying is true. macaque even calls him an "obsessive demon" which is so funny, thats like. stop yelling at the kettle, pot. macaque's entire identity is based around wukong, ur such a little hypocrite. if oneo f them had to be the obsessive demon, it would be macaque.

macaque then goes on to say that "i told you going against the jade emperor was a bad idea, but no, wukong doesn't listen to anyone! he just does whatever he wants!" which this whole statement is just so weak on his end. macaque warns wukong once, and thats when azure first brings up the idea of going against the jade emperor. he says something along the lines of "idk about this wukong, going against the jade emperor could have some consequences". wukong quickly reassures him and macaque smiles and is like "okay wukong, whatever you say". he says that very fondly. macaque's "warning" to wukong isn't much of a warning, it was a small thought that he quickly drops because wukong says it's going to be okay. macaque and wukong were extremely close, they should know the other's personality. macaque would have known that just a small, off-hand comment wouldn't even be considered a warning to someone as headstrong as wukong.

we can headcanon and imagine all we want that maybe macaque and wukong talked more about it, maybe they even argued about it, but none of that speculation means anything because canon only ever shows us macaque casually mentioning potential consequences that both macaque and wukong ignore. obviously to the characters, including macaque, the consequences weren't really that important if they never brought it up again. macaque is Once Again forcing more blame on wukong as if he didn't have an equal part in the attack or the planning leading up to it.

i mean, look at wukong's face here in response to macaque saying that! that looks like the shocked face somebody makes when they hear someone say they did/said something they know they didn't. that, along with the "obsessive demon" insult has wukong making a "what the actual fuck?!" kind of face. the one where you're shocked the other person even has the audacity to practically lie right to your face, yknow?

"you put yourself here, not me" macaque says, then he destroys the peach and leaves it on the ground in front of wukong, basically as an act of severing ties. macaque has, in his mind, been innocent the whole time and has no reason to try and stick around and help wukong because, he thinks, "well it's not my fault any of this happened". macaque is constantly playing the blame game, i think it's his favorite

NOW! onto this:

I'd also like to know your opinion on Sun Wukong, and why his side of the story has been silent and unspoken for so long. Eat you fruits and sleep early!

first of all, love eating fruits! apples are very good. secondly, i uh. sleep early. yeah. oops..................... (i went to bed at 2:30 am last night).......... but we're workin on it!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL

I have a lot of things I could say about Wukong. a lot of things that i won't for the sake of brevity but in general, Sun Wukong reads as someone who's tired and wanting desperately to move on, while also feeling an innate responsibility to keep helping the world and defending people from large threats. that's why he takes on MK as a successor, because he wants a way to almost "pass on" into obscurity so MK can be the next hero. MK's young, excited, and in his prime while wukong is old, tired, and bogged down with all of his past mistakes that no one ever lets him forget. he's surprisingly really realistic and well rounded compared to the rest of the, ill be real, close to flat cast, which is what drew me to his character. he doesn't feel as tropey as the rest of the cast, he feels like you could assign him a trope but it won't ever perfectly describe him, which is really cool. he perfectly embodies his original character purpose, to represent the power of the mind, as he's constantly changing and growing and learning from mistakes. that's what makes him such a realistic character! he's built to be extremely human even if he's an overpowered stone monkey.

wukong isn't the type of guy to really open up about what he's thinking and spill his insecurities. during the journey, a lot of times wukong would point out a demon threat or would come up with ways to stop threats against tripitaka who, 9/10 times didn't believe him or punished him for his ideas. wukong's basically internalized the idea that he needs to play his cards really close to his chest, which includes his plans for fighting back against something or his own feelings. hell, wukong's only really started opening up to MK in season 4, and he barely does! the only time he ever truly opens up is in the s4 special where he's basically given up. and even then he's filtering himself and not explaining his side of things, just his emotions. its a start tho

that's basically why wukong's taking so long to explain his side of the story on anything, its difficult to have him do so and have it be in character because his major traits are about being closed off emotionally. unfortunately because hes taking so long to open up, the fandom seems to be believing macaque and the villains more and more, painting this really nasty view of wukong which is. so odd to me.

i also have some gripes with the writers for not using the only tool that could almost force wukong to open up or show his side of the story to do that. they show a couple snippets of wukong's past, but it's all pre journey stuff and it all includes macaque. we never learn his side of the story about killing the camel ridge trio or his fight with macaque that led to macaque's death. we don't even hear his own inner monologue or thoughts! and now the scroll is effectively out of play, so we arent even gonna get to see that stuff. which sucks

Side note: do you think, in Shadowplay, the story that Macaque tells us, is in actuality similar to what happened with MK and SWK when the latter witnessed LBD's return, a vision of MK being burned, which spurred him on mission to stop her while keeping MK in the dark about the reason for his "trip" in s2 beginning?

okay, for this one it's complicated. so, yes and no.

macaque only does the shadow play to torture MK and make him feel even more insecure about wukong. he says it himself at the end of the episode, it's why he gives up on the fight so quickly, he just wanted to torture MK, mostly for fun. (is this how you get your sick kicks?!)

MK has a habit of mimicking and internalizing everyone else's words and personalities. the most obvious example is how at the end of season 1, in s1e9 his entire personality changes when macaque trains him, and macaque plants the seeds of insecurity in MK's mind about wukong "abandoning" him. it gets even worse in shadowplay in s2, because thats when MK really start's thinking wukong's abandoned him and he's really putting himself in macaque's headspace. bro stop!!!!!!!! he's evil!!!! stop!!!!! he's a liar!!!!! get out of there mk!!!

so anyway, macaque's whole point is that wukong "abandoned" him to go be a hotshot in heaven and then to go on the journey and make new and cooler friends, and now MK's worried that wukong just did that again but to him. macaque knows wukong's not around, too, which makes this "lesson" easier to tell MK since wukong's not there to defend himself or to explain the truth to MK. macaque's goal though with the shadow play is to insult MK by comparing him to wukong. he's trying to fuck with MK and make him feel shittier, that's why he kidnaps MK's friends, because he wants to be like "wow you didn't even notice they were gone! ur such a bad person lol! just like wukong the hero!" when in reality MK's put himself in macaque's role as the warrior and is just thinking all of his friends abandoned him. he knew they weren't around but he assumed they just didn't want to be with him, not that they were actually captured. it's a whole mess that just makes MK feel even worse by the end of it, but it's still an interesting episode that says a lot about the characters.

so, partially, yes, the shadowplay is similar to wukong leaving mk during season 2 when you look at it through MK's point of view. but objectively? it's not even close.

in reality, we the audience know that wukong isn't just going on vacation, he's actively looking for ways to stop the lady bone demon and doing research. he's finding ancient temples and scouring through their information, he's interrogating anyone who might have a clue, he's very active this season, we just only get clips of what he's doing while we focus on MK. we see multiple instances of him searching for answers, we know he's trying to stop LBD. he isn't really fucking off and doing nothing (but for some reason the fandom thinks he did because pigsy says that??? so).

wukong leaves MK because he's trying to protect him. he trusts MK's ability enough to deal with the occasional monster of the week at megaopolis, but he doesn't think MK's ready for a bigger threat like LBD. he's still communicating with MK to give him advice, but he knows MK knows the basics and can handle himself well, he just needs the occasional push. he's not intentionally abandoning him, he's keeping him out of harms way because he believes MK isn't ready for a world ending threat.

so basically: we know that macaque is trauma dumping and twisting the context of the story to make him seem like some sort of victim that was left behind, that MK is internalizing the story to mean that wukong is abandoning him, and that wukong isn't doing any of that and is trying to protect him. it's a big narrative mess but it's a good one! we the audience know MK's going down a bad path for his mental health and we know that wukong isn't doing any of that because we can see it through wukong's words and actions that he cares about MK and is trying to help him while keeping him safe. unfortunately, wukong's a little too late coming back to the city and LBD starts her plan before wukong can stop her.

sorry this got so long! i think about them a lot

[midnightshard06]

Fictober Day 18: "You always have a plan"

You can check it out on ao3 here if you prefer.

Summary: Mephiles get's ready to tell Shadow about his mistake in the past. He's gets help from an unexpected visitor.

Set in my Lost and Found AU (Sort of a continuation from this fic)

Warnings: None

Word Count: ~700 words

“Are you sure you don’t want me with you when you tell him?” Silver shifted his weight from foot to foot.

“Quite.” Mephiles folded his hands behind his back. “I… will be fine. I have a plan.”

“You always have a plan.” Silver chuckled. “Hope it works out. I’ll be in the garden after you narrowly escape death.” The white hedgehog waved before walking off.

Mephiles pinned his ears down as he watched Silver’s retreating back. Yes, he had a plan. A plan that certainly would work out just fine. “You just gonna keep standing there or are you gonna walk in?” Wonderful, nearly the last person he wanted to see. Sonic leaned against a wall nearby, a smug look on his face.

“I thought you were still out for a couple days?” Mephiles kept his voice even.

“Thought I’d drop back in early. Surprise everyone. Wanted to make sure I actually caught Shadow’s brother this time…” Sonic’s expression shifted into something more neutral. “Good to finally meet you, well meet you again.” He tapped his chin. “Let’s see… it can’t have been long since we met in the past if you’re here to do what I think you are.” He hummed. “Time travel is all confusing though.” He shrugged.

“Is there a point to you confronting me now?” Mephiles found that his patience truly ran thin when it came to Sonic. 

Sonic blinked in confusion for a moment before realization passed over his face. “Oh yeah. A lot of stuff hasn’t happened for you yet.” He put his hands together. “How about I go in with you, then Shads won’t get super upset at you. Cause if I remember right it was kinda my fault we met in the past that first time.”

“First time?” Mephiles felt his eye twitch. Had he truly failed to stay out of sight on multiple occasions?

“Spoilers.” Sonic chuckled. “Now c’mon, unless you want to face Shadow alone.”

“Very well.” Mephiles let his displeasure at the situation seep into his voice, but Sonic seemed unphased.

“Comin in Shads!” Sonic yelled before opening the door Mephiles had been standing in front of. Mephiles watched from the doorway as Sonic strode up to Shadow and placed a kiss on his head. “Surprised?”

“I didn’t realize you were coming back so soon.” Shadow sounded pleased and Mephiles fought the urge to sink into the shadows and slink away.

“Decided to head back early.” Sonic leaned back. “Plus this way I get to help out him.” He gestured to Mephiles.

Shadow turned a sharp gaze onto him. “What did you do?”

“Not even going to give me the benefit of the doubt?” Mephiles raised a brow. “For all you know I am coming to report something good.” Shadow gave him a flat look and he raised his arms in surrender. “Fine. I may have… had a blunder in the past.” Time to put his plan into motion. Hopefully Sonic’s presence would keep the hedgehog hybrid calmer.

“What kind of blunder?” Shadow’s eyes narrowed.

Before Mephiles could continue Sonic jumped in. “He met me. Which is not really his fault from what I remember. Pretty sure he was trying to avoid me but I got nosey cause he looked like you.” He pat Shadow on the arm.

Well, so much for his plan but perhaps this was better. This Shadow seemed a good deal more volatile at times after all. It made it hard to plan when he was involved. “Indeed. Me and Silver were observing the plant life and infrastructure of a park when I noticed Sonic and his fox friend passing by. I attempted to get myself and Silver out of sight but Sonic confronted me after Silver had departed.”

Shadow glanced between Mephiles and Sonic several times before sighing. “Fine. As long as Silver wasn’t spotted.”

“Can confirm I never met the guy until you found him.” Sonic gave Shadow a side hug. 

“If that’s the case…” Shadow huffed. “Then you and Silver can continue on as normal. Just try to not let it happen again.” The massive grin Sonic gave Mephiles did not instill him with confidence that this would be the last time they’d be having this conversation.