#And it looks like each idol group represents a different one holy shit

[rev-velvet]

Hey everyone how's it-OH GOOD HEAVES!!!

THE THEME IS PAST VS. PRESENT VS. FUTURE!!?!!

[sanstropfremir]

the hotly anticipated kingdom episode 7 review is here!!

this episode was a lot less spectacle-y than the last one (the last episode with stages, i mean), and i think that was a good choice for all the groups on the whole to tone it down on the run up to the finale, because at the rate everyone was headed there would be no room to go any higher. i'm very glad that there was actually a collab stage and not just a song swap, especially because it gives a chance for the boys to work together and make friends when they otherwise arent going to be able to interact much. love love love to see them making friends and having fun doing these stages!

i'm not really sure why mnet didnt put the vocal stage this episode, because what on earth else are they going to put in the next episode with it??? i know it's a content stretch but still, it seems like a weird choice to me. anyways, there’s four stages for me to talk about this time and i'm going to try to not ramble out of control, but we’ll see. i did enjoy watching all of these, but we’ve all got favourites and i'm going to rank by which group i liked better out of the two for each stage, and then i put a few conclusions at the end. strap in folks this is another long one.

rap stages

skz + btob + atz

i was actually really surprised at how much i liked this stage. i would not classify myself as a rap fan and believe it or not i actually do not place a lot of importance on lyrics when enjoying music. although i have very high lyric retention and comprehension, i focus more on the sound than the literal words, so a fair amount of rap is swing-and-a-miss in my personal listening. plus when you add a language barrier on top of that, a lot of the nuance and technical skill of it just flies over my head. so i really dont have much to say about the sonic elements this time around, sorry. also.....i know i joked that nobody from the kingdom staff is reading my reviews.....but is someone from the kingdom staff reading my reviews????? i specifically mentioned that i think skz should do an art themed stage and then we got one????? i know i manifested the punk ateez stage but did i manifest this also??? am i just that powerful???

costume

obviously these are pretty basic rap/hiphop stage looks, but the white was a really good choice for visibility’s sake, and also thematically: it reflects the colours in the lighting really well.

i am DYING to know who the designer of minhyuks jacket is. if somebody knows please tell me i love it so much. it looks like some of the recent belted jackets that dior was putting out, but the drawing on the front armscythe piece reminds me of the superm/kim junggi collab for tiger inside. say whatever you want about superm, but you cannot deny that that is not some of the coolest merch on the kpop scene.

loved the traditional korean elements that came through in addition to the western references: the screens, hongjoong’s fan, minhyuk’s big fuckoff brush, the masks, and the sleeves on the dancers at minhyuk’s bit. those are a costume feature from a style of korean traditional masked dance called bongsan talchum. the masks themselves are versions of hahoetal masks, which are used in a very specific archetypal ritual dance in andong. i think these are imae masks, who is the servant/fool archetype that mocks the nobleman and the scholar. i suspect that was a deliberate choice, but i can only speculate.

another point about the masks which is not relevant but maybe a fun fact for people who don’t know. i actually thought at first that they were western theatre half masks, which are a very old style of mask that, like with hahoetal masks, represent a number of archetypes/stock characters. maskwork is a very common training practice in theatre schools, because it teaches body language and control, because half your face is covered and you cannot speak in your own voice (sometimes you cannot speak at all, this is one of the rules of full mask). the tradition of usings masks to portray emotion goes all the way back to the ancient greek chorus, but more commonly people in the west sometimes know it from the italian commedia dell’arte, of which you will have definitely seen some of the character archetypes before. i just find it neat that the same types of art pop up in different places seemingly independently of each other. humans are cool.

set

not much to say here, it's pretty bare with just some propwork. thought the screen use was fun and they used it smartly in a couple of transitions. 

thought changbin’s bit of ‘interrupting’ the artists was cute and fun. there’s obviously a picasso reference there, and the four technicolour paintings are a reference to andy warhol’s pop art silkscreen portraits, most famously of marilyn monroe, but he also did many other celebrities in the 70s and 80s.

lighting

i LOVED this lighting. super bright and fun, lots of use of colour, obviously. the projections were there to enhance the visuals and weren’t distracting in any way. i thought the transition to black and white/ink with minhyuk was smart and had good contrast, it gave a strong rhythm to build back up to for the climax.

sound

bang chan’s ‘spelling colour with a u’ bit had me SCREAMING with laughter. we spell colour with a u normally bang chan, the americans are the ones that are wrong. 

staging

i don’t really have a whole lot to say here, it was pretty straightforward and fun. like i’ve said in previous reviews, i wish they were more conscious of the steadicam direction and would stop showing extended bits of the production crew. at least everyone was wearing full blacks this time.

fun use of the upward angle combined with the groundwork/leg choreo during hongjoong’s verse, that was a highlight for me.

sf9 + tbz + ikon

nothing against this stage, the other one just hit harder for me. bobby is the best rapper on the show and he really carried this stage with his charisma. he’s a fun performer to watch and he knows how to command a space. i'm sure there’s technical notes that people have about the raps themselves, but i'm here looking at visuals as a priority, which i'm sure you’ve all grasped at this point.

costume

these were clearly extensions of these idol’s personal styles, with is a perfectly fine choice, especially for a rap stage where the emphasis is more on authorship. LOVED bobby’s 11yro girl at recess look.

amusing that both rap stages involved paint in some way? loved the backup dancers shooting supersoakers filled with paint at them, but i wish i knew the reason for it? i'm glad i saw this stage first because i would have been underwhelmed by the paint throwing if i had seen this after rainbow bonanza.

set

almost no set at all here, just a few props. i'm not judging as harshly on lack of set this round because these stages are meant to be more about skill than anything else. 

lighting

i loved the projections, i thought they were unobtrusive and i admit, i LOVE outer space themed anything.

i liked that they did more concert lighting and had no projections in the first half to put more focus on the performers, it really highlighted the fact that this stage was about them, and not about anything extraneous.

sound

it was indeed a song.

staging

i do wish there had been a bit more control of the space, because it did look very empty at some parts and they could have staved that off by keeping tighter camera shots. this stage is so fucking big, holy shit.

they really brought their onstage chemistry and they looked like they were having a blast, which FINALLY!! 

i actually really liked hwiyoung’s opening, i think there was a lot of potential there for some sharp contrast work that i wish had been played through a little more, especially with the cool white light overtop the black costumes. it actually reminded me a bit of the intro in the music video from a rapper i do actually listen to, bewhy’s gottasadae.

glad to see some more use of camera effects with the black and white, but why did they do it over the paint throwing? it just made the trajectory of the paint invisible because there was no colour contrast.

performance stages

sf9 + tbz + ikon

ok obviously im gonna have a lot more to say about the performance stages, nobody is surprised there. this one was the better constructed of the two and my personal pick for better stage, but i actually liked watching the both of them equally.

costume

king shit, literally. we love contemporary hanbok in this house. there was good colour and style distinction between the three of them without clashing. 

costume change was fun and neatly blocked, it's pretty common to see backup dancers and chorus hiding quickchanges but i liked how this was a more unusual formation.

taeyang rocking the organza skirt and the big purple eyeshadow, thank you for keeping it cunty as always.

i really liked juyeon’s underlayer look. finally we get a good tbz costume look thats thematically relevant!

set

like all the stages this round, pretty minimal. the setting was almost entirely established through the costumes and the projections, which is some really good designwork. it's pretty much just the litters (the lifted chairs they entered on), and some smaller props. they managed to not make the stage feel empty because there was a lot of projection visuals to compensate, which is difficult to do without being overbearing, but i think they mostly pulled it off.

i originally thought it was gonna be weird to try and mesh the traditional korean architectural aesthetic with the weird mnet deco, but i ended up not noticing it as much as i thought i would.

lighting

like i just said, projections very well done and do a fantastic job of conveying setting without being overly distracting. like with the atz/skz/btob rap stage there’s a really broad range of colour use here that they offset by brightening and properly fill lighting the faces so you can actually see what’s happening.

the use of the strobing lasers and more concert style lighting fit really well with the change in the music from traditional instrument sounds to electronica and the more hiphop/isolated movements.

sound

i liked it well enough! i think it had a good arc that we can see echoed through the rest of the piece, like previously stated in the lighting and movement style. 

staging

like i mentioned with the quickchange, there was some really interesting formations using the backup dancers here, especially as a lead toward/away from the camera

having the three of them enter on litters; again, literal king shit, love to see it.

this has a pretty clear narrative that doesnt really need an external explanation, which is good. i have to assume that the burning of the paper with 妃 (concubine) is intended to be a gesture of ‘burning’ the love out of their hearts, but that was the only thing i'm still confused on. this may very well turn out to be a reference to a specific story that i just have no idea what it is, but we’ll see once the subs are out!

i loved juyeons solo bit with the alcohol drinking and the table flip, that was the choreographic highlight for me. i just really wish he would use the other muscles in his face more often. we know youre pretty, you dont have to blue steel your way through all your performances!! take a page out of donghyuk’s book and make some ugly faces, it's good for you!!

i though taeyang’s swordwork was fine, but since i do actually have a decade of sword training i'm very judgemental. it's not bad, he obviously has practiced with the weapon and he knows how to control it, but he doesn’t have the same understanding as someone who has trained with a sword as a weapon and not just as a prop. if we hadn’t seen another stage with swordwork in it i probably wouldn’t have brought this up (that's a lie, i still would have brought it up, i have a third dan), but you can really see the difference between how minhyuk moves with his sword and how taeyang moves. a lot of this has to do with the proper weighting of the blade, which i mention briefly in my second episode review in btob’s section (and also this ask here, where i talk about properly weighted weapons in relation to the gun choreo in sf9’s and ateez’s previous stages); minhyuk is likely using a ‘real’ sword (it’s blunted but still made using proper methods and materials), and taeyang is using a cheaper-made replica (unless you’re doing full contact striking a LOT there’s no way a properly made blade breaks like that. also you would never tape it together hello??? respect the blade). if you know what you’re looking for, you can tell from the movements themselves when someone has training. minhyuk did a load of real training for a film where he was a swordsman, and you can tell; the sword is an extension of his arm, all the movements lead with the tip of the blade first, because that’s your first, your fastest, and your most dangerous point. you do 90% of your cutting with the first eight inches of blade, but it takes a lot of specific training to get your hands and arms to a place where that kind of movement is possible. taeyang’s movements are driven from his hands, which is unsurprising, because that’s where he’s used to his extensions stopping. the tip follows rather than leads. wow this got insanely sidetracked i hope you liked this crash course on swordwork.

this is pretty much what i expected to see from this unit. these three groups all have standout soloists, so i wasn’t surprised to see these three boys as the picks. juyeon and taeyang especially, theyre both from groups that are more likely to do experimental stages and choreography that highlights them as soloists and skilled dancers.

skz + btob + atz

this was a letdown from ateez’s last two stages, because they knocked those out of the park, but it's only fair that they have a bit of a fall. that being said, i did really enjoy watching this for its sheer ridiculousness; i’m forgiving the wolf concept this time because well, it’s wolf. you can't cover wolf and not do a wolf concept, that’s against the law. also, like i’ve said before, i'm all for dark concepts IF you give them thematic weight. is it on the nose? yes. is it thematically relevant? also yes. is it dumb? also also yes, but that’s never stopped a single kpop group in the history of ever.

costume

friendship restored with ateez stylists, rivalry started with skz stylists. the fur shoulder fluffs??? stupid and i love them. perfect in every way. however i keep seeing the same fucking costumes on the skz boys and i will come directly for the stylists at jype if they dont get their shit together. be! more! creative!!!

i really really wish they had gone more 2013 kpop with it, we need more of that ugly ridiculous styling. peniel was actually pretty close, with the overly long tunic and those yellow lenses. very vixx on and on (yes i know they were vampires from outer space, let me live)

i actually thought the wolf gloves were fun? the small bits of uv paint actually worked instead of looking out of place, and i'm glad they put them on wooyoung because the uglier an outfit, the better he pulls it off. 

set

same dice, just the long table and the camo net at the beginning, which i thought was unnecessary. the table was useful for levels though, so happy to see they utilized that.

lighting

there is so much happening all the time. lots of lasers. it's definitely aiming for camp territory, and i dont actually hate it as much as i did on my first watch. it actually wasn’t as dark as i thought either, because its mostly lit with blue and amber. but it doesn’t really have that great of an arc and its not really that good on the whole.

the projections are a bit much for me, but that’s only when i'm actually looking at them. true to form, i didn’t even notice the excess of red slashes until like my fourth rewatch because i was too busy watching the performers.

sound

rookie exo my beloved. the original wolf goes so hard for absolutely no reason, so i’m not knocking this stage for being ridiculous. in fact it should have been more ridiculous. i think they did a fine job updating the song for a.....less 2013 sound. 

i like that they didn’t bother to live sing the stage even though they recorded vocals for it, it gave them all a chance to actually focus on just the dance.

that being said, i am kind of missing all the adlibs from the original. but even though there’s some strong vocalists in this unit, they aren’t made of the same stuff as baekhyun, luhan, chen, AND d.o.

i literally just realized that peniel had already debuted when this song came out AND is technically exo���s senior because btob debuted like two weeks before exo officially did.....oh no

staging

choreographically this feels a lot more like the skz stages that we’ve seen rather than the ateez ones, so i'm curious as to who the choreographer was. 

the tricking was definitely more ridiculous in this one, but i can't really say any of it was there for no reason because it all had elements of fighting in it. the scale of the tricks was quite large though and not very well blended with the rest of the choreo, which ending up making them look awkward. i thought it was a nice detail that they shone a green toplight on the dancers that made up the cliff wooyoung climbed up so that it looked like there was grass on it. cute.

the blocking is lacking a lot of fluidity, and i think that’s partially the scale of the tricking and also the editing, because this editing is TERRIBLE. there’s so much cutting, why is there so much cutting!! haven’t we already learned that longtakes are the best for this???

there’s a lot of stuff here that had good potential but could have been pushed a little farther. i feel like i say this for every mediocre stage, but what can i say, i'm good at constructive criticism. 

they should have given more showcase to the tree and the scratching arms; it's the most iconic move!! i also wish they had kept some kind of iteration of the different unit ‘leaping’ in over the exiting one, i always thought that part of the original choreo was really fun and did a lot for establishing them as wolves. 

i LOVED peniel entering with all those backup dancers in chains, thats some fucking iconic shit. very ‘im the alpha wolf,’ which is valid because he’s like at LEAST five years older than everyone else on the stage. i wish that instead of being the backup dancers it was the actual members, because THAT would have been an image. theyre all wearing harnesses and collars anyways, just clip em in! he’d be like one of those dogwalkers!

me last week: specifically talking about how krump is an uncommon style in kpop and it's very hard to get right kingdom, throwing the manifesting dodgeball at me for the third time: here would you like a KRUMP SOLO?

if you didnt believe me before that krump is hard to get right, i sure hope you do now. peniel did fine, but you can see how easily you can veer off into looking ridiculous.

some conclusions

i mentioned this really briefly in an ask i got earlier today, but i do think it's important to establish that the two performance units are doing two different types of performances. i can understand why people are underwhelmed by the atz/skz/btob stage and wanted it to be less of a traditional kpop dance stage and more like the experimental stages we’ve been seeing for the last few weeks. and i agree! i think they could have done more with it. but i also think that this kind of stage was a good choice for this particular subunit. unlike with the sf9/tbz/ikon unit, there are not really any standout technical soloists in ateez or skz. ateez has, in my opinion, the highest ratio of dancers with actual stage presence of any of the 4th gen groups ive seen. they’re at a solid 75% for any given performance, and occasionally they can bump that higher depending on the stage. that high of a stat is rare. it's extremely rare for a group to have all its members have good stage presence (i can think of like, maybe two or three?), and to get over 50% is pretty damn impressive. but ateez’s strength isn’t in how good they individually are as dancers, but it's in how well they work together. there’s a reason why they put FIVE of them in the performance unit. one of the first things i said about ateez to hanya is ‘i love wooyoung but he doesn’t stand out when he's not centre.’ which is for good reason!! he’s not supposed to! they all willingly give up centre and take it back when they need to, because they have that charisma. there’s a very cohesive push and pull to watching ateez that speaks to their strengths as performers. dancing in a group where you are all meant to be equal is a very different skill than just being a talented soloist. you have to understand what to prioritize in a different way. taemin dances differently with shinee that he does in his solo career, especially since they’ve been back. he understands when to step back; more often than not i find key to be the standout dancer in shinee choreo.

this is a very long winded way of saying that wolf was a good choice for them even though the stage didn’t turn out as well as it could have. also the fact that they made a cohesive performance at all, with a week of rehearsal and while working with essentially strangers is a feat and speaks to all of their skill at their job. performing in a group is a huge part of kpop, and they did call this the performance stage, and not the dance stage.

i'm not entirely sure on what the breakdown is on why each of the subunits were formed. i know the team sizes are extremely uneven, with sf9/tbz/ikon clocking in at 26 people and atz/skz/btob clocking in at 17 (i'm not counting changsub because he's not there and probably has a scheduling conflict), which is like, a whole extra group of difference. but atz/skz/btob utilizing their whole groups for each of the units (5/3/1 for performance, 1/3/1 for rap, and 1/1/1 for vocal, for 7/7/3 total), verses sf9/tbz/ikon only bringing out six people for these two stages and then six for the vocal stage is......weird? that's over half of their group number that’s not performing. i do think the groups brought out their standout performers and made smart choices with the stages but the balance still strikes me as odd. i do wish tbz had actually done some group choreo because they are very strong group performers and it would have been fun to watch.

ateez really played the long game here, good job boys. teaming up with the group who gets the highest fan votes AND the group with the strongest technical skills? i see you.

i think this is probably too wild of an assumption and is only based on circumstantial evidence but.....i think hongjoong might actually have a lot more creative sway than i previously thought. all the stages he’s been a part of have been very well designed, and i know he provided suggestions for the two ateez stages prior to this... i’m probably thinking too much. 

ok you know what i know there were some other points in my brain somewhere but this is already 4000 words so i’m going to stop. if i remember anything else its probably gonna end up in the answer to some of the asks i’m inevitably going to get because i think my opinions on these ones are a little bit more controversial, whoops!

not entirely sure if ill do an extensive review for next week’s stage, because i'm not really a ballad fan and i dont really do vocal reviews, but i could do a quick one. i guess it also depends on what else they put in the episode. we’ll see!!

[back-to-swift]

How I Became A Swiftie...

So, I was at this camp in 5th grade for a school field trip. I was 10. The counselors at this camp were singing Love Story the whole time we were there and I was like, ‘What is this song?!?!’ When I got home, I immediately looked it up and I fell in love with what I was hearing!! A few days later, I told my mom about this singer, Taylor Swift, and she drove me to Target and bought me Fearless. Not too long after that, she bought me the debut album as a surprise and omg I was instantly OBSESSED with both of these masterpieces!! I told all my friends and got some of them hooked! I would literally spend HOURS of my days locked in my room listening, singing, dancing, and even writing my own versions of these songs!! My whole life became Taylor! I looked up to her SO much! Fearless still holds such a special place in my heart because it was the first Taylor album that I ever listened to and the songs just bring back this feeling of nostalgia. They’re very special to me, so that album will always be one of my favs!

Fast forward to 2010 when Speak Now came out!! I was in 7th grade and that one really impacted me, as well. Junior high is an interesting stage in life because you’re trying to figure out who you are and you’re experiencing certain emotions for the first time. For me, I had this huge crush on my best friend at the time, so these songs really struck a chord with me. What really helped me through this time in my life was the prologue that she wrote for the lyric booklet. I also looked back at the Fearless prologue as well. Some quotes that stood out specifically are, “Words can break someone into a million pieces, but they can also put them back together. I hope you use yours for good, because the only words you’ll regret more than the ones left unsaid are the ones that you use to intentionally hurt someone,” and, “...I think the words you stop yourself from saying are the ones that will haunt you the longest.” Also, “There is a time for silence. There is a time for waiting your turn. But if you know how you feel, and you so clearly know what you need to say, you’ll know it. I don’t think you should wait, I think you should speak now.” The main quote that really really stuck with me and still sticks with me to this day is, “Fearless is having the courage to say goodbye to someone who only hurts you, even if you can’t breathe without them. I think it’s fearless to fall for your best friend, even though he’s in love with someone else.” When I took in these messages that I know came straight from Taylor’s heart, they helped me tell my best friend, and when he didn’t like me back in that way, these words also helped me be okay with that. When he fell for my other best friend, Taylor’s words helped me accept that, too. These albums became the soundtrack to my life. These songs made me feel less alone. They made me feel like somebody got me, somebody understood exactly what I was feeling. And even though I didn’t know her personally, I knew she was there for me. That’s when I knew she would start to mean so much more to me than just a singer I look up to. She started to feel more like a friend or an older sister who had all the advice I’d ever need.

In 2012, Red was released. It was my freshman year of high school. It was a time where everything was changing. I had changed schools for the first time in my entire life and I was still desperately trying to get over my best friend. This album came out at the perfect time. Songs like I Almost Do and All Too Well made me feel, again, like Taylor knew exactly what I was feeling. It was one of the saddest times in my life for a plethora of reasons. I felt insecure, I had to come to terms with the fact that this boy would never like me and I had to watch him and feel him grow further and further away from me, I felt lonely, I was fighting with my parents a lot, and I just was not happy, at all. The first few years of high school be like that sometimes, but thanks to Taylor, I didn’t have to feel completely hopeless and lost. I didn’t really understand the album fully at the time, but the songs on it that did resonate with me became a huge part of my life.

1989 came out when I was FINALLY getting over all that sadness and insecurity. I finally found the strength to let go of that guy and I finally had a solid group of friends who accepted me and loved me for me. I was getting along with my parents and I just felt a little more free. And what better album to become the new soundtrack to my life than 1989?? An album that is literally about freedom and becoming comfortable with where you’re at in life. Another reason why I loved this specific era was because it was the first time I ever got to go to a Taylor concert!! I was absolutely in love with the songs on 1989!!!! I went to the San Diego show with my best friend. We were at the very top, but it was truly one of my favorite nights ever. It still is to this day!!! I had just started my senior year of high school when I went to this concert. I was also new to the Tumblr scene and other fans inspired me to do a project. I cut out probably 100 colorful hearts and I brought them with me. When I got to my seat, I passed them out to people around me and I told them to hold them up during Clean. I wanted to show my love and appreciation to Taylor through that. I seriously can’t thank her enough for writing, “She lost him, but she found herself, and somehow that was everything.” That quote is exactly what I needed and it became my life motto! That night was so special and it’s one I’ll never forget.

Now, let me talk about reputation, which is personally, my favorite album ever!! I was a sophomore in college and omg, I was absolutely completely in love with everything about this album and this era!!! I still am!!! When Look What You Made Me Do dropped, I was driving. I blasted it all the way home and I swear, I SCREAMED every single time I listened to, “The old Taylor can’t come to the phone right now. Why? Oh, cause she’s dead!” I am not kidding you!!! I was OBSESSED and also SHOOK. I was blasting it in my car outside my house and my mom came out and was like, “What are you doing?” And I told her that Taylor Swift just released the greatest song ever!!! When the whole album came out, my best friend and I filmed our reactions to every song. We screamed, we cried, we fell on the floor, we laughed, and we smiled. We still watch those videos and die laughing at ourselves being so shook every few months. I was fully immersed into this era because it was different and it was dark and sassy. 

When I first heard Gorgeous, I felt like the Taylor Swift entered into my mind and wrote exactly what I was feeling and how I acted whenever I liked someone. It was seriously so accurate, I was actually scared like WHAT?!?! Did I meet Taylor and tell her about my life and I just don’t remember or…??? Anyway, this era is special to me because I got to see my idol from the front row for the very first time in that whole decade of loving and supporting her. We got to our seats on the floor at the Pasadena show, but we couldn’t see ANYTHING because these tall guys were in front of us. So, my friend went over to the Shake It Off B-stage and asked security if we could stand there. Sure enough, she told us we could!!!! So we got to be front row!!! And I was on the edge right where there was a little opening for her to come out and go to the other B-stage. So, after that set, right before Blank Space, she walked right next to me. And I mean, if I reached out my arm, not even halfway, I would be touching her. Of course, I was too in shock to do anything, but holy shit!!!! THAT was the most iconic moment I’ve ever lived through. AND on top of it all, my friend won tickets for the next night!!! And that was the night Selena Gomez came out, AKA my other QUEEN!!!! I fell on the floor and cried, okay?? The two best nights of my life, honestly.

Anyway, I wrote this all to say that I cannot find the words to describe how grateful I am for Taylor Swift. She has been here for me for 11 years of my life… that is more than half of my existence. Her words made me feel less alone when times got hard, and they also made me feel more alive when times were good. I appreciate her for always being kind to us, sticking by us through all the ups and downs, and going out of her way to make us smile. I will never ever be able to thank her enough for writing the soundtrack for my life and for being the big sister I never had. I didn’t realize until right now, as I’m writing this, that each album came out at the perfect time in my life. Each album represents and fits each stage of life that I was experiencing at the time of each release. I can’t even tell you how much I love this woman and I will always look up to her. She means the world to me and I can only hope to meet her, hug her, and tell her exactly how thankful I am for her and how much I love and appreciate her. I can’t wait to hear Lover and analyze every word when it comes out! Thank you, Taylor, for everything.

Love, Carly

@taylorswift @taylornation

[snugglyporos]

Okay ya’ll I have to rant for a good minute about the Fate series because my stupid autistic brain has been hyper focusing on it for the past four hours and I need to put these thoughts down or I’ll never get rid of them. 

I’m so... disappointed? frustrated? mad? Idk what I think. It’s all of these things to see such a great idea executed so awfully. So lazily. So incompetently. 

Because I can’t help constantly engaging with it and going ‘you know, this would be really good if they just did x.’ There’s so many monumental moments of stupidity that I can’t help but go ‘wow that’s dumb as hell.’

There’s a rule in fiction where the larger the stakes are, the more complex and unwieldy it gets, because it effects more things. That’s why usually the best fiction involves low stakes overall, or personal stakes, because you don’t need to then consider the cosmological complications of your story. Having a story that involves magic, time travel, secret organizations, multiple illuminati organizations on top of those, and countless other bullshit does not make for a coherent or compelling story. 

I’ve said before that one thing I hate is the idea of a ‘world organization.’ It’s lazy as hell. If Russia and China couldn’t get along when they were both communist, the idea that the entire world with all its varying ideologies and ethnic groups could be run by one group of people is nonsense. People can barely coexist with others like themselves. Furthermore, in our age of nationalism, the idea that say, China would have their top brass subserviant to western illumiati is stupid. It’s also stupid in the reverse. The idea that all of ANYTHING is ruled by one group of people is stupid and it makes you look lazy to write things like that.

Second, trying to put your story in the ‘real world’ or any image of it while claiming that all the world’s mages belong to one organization while ‘the church’ that runs all religions exists is stupid. It defies belief. It also wouldn’t be an issue if they weren’t dead set on trying to explain how this goes on in the ‘real world’. 

Also, apparently time travel exists. Also, all of human history was erased. Yet somehow they go back in time, and summon people from the future. You know, going back to a time that doesn’t exist, and summoning people from the future who haven’t been born yet, who also don’t exist. Time travel is ALWAYS stupid. It’s ALWAYS bad. Always. Because the core notions and questions that it brings up immediately reveal why it is stupid. Let’s say you sent one person back in time. If you witnessed it, and didn’t go with them, you should now not exist. Why? Because the act of something being somewhere that it wasn’t before creates a paradox. The only way it doesn’t is if the world you lived in is the same world where they went back in time, and that raises questions about fate and free will, and most authors simply aren’t interested in getting that metaphysical, and as such render their stories incredibly stupid. 

But! Let’s try, for the sake of arguement, to put aside all this nonsense. Does the core idea of the story make sense? Are there clear, defined rules? No! Nothing makes any goddamn sense. Apparently, magic exists, but then there are magic circuts, which aren’t explained. The rules about everything is not explained and is frequently contradicted. Example. Who can be summoned, and how? Sometimes, it’s anyone. Sometimes, it’s different versions of someone. Sometimes, it requires a piece attached to that someone. Sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes, where the person is summoned changes how powerful they are, and sometimes it doesn’t.

But they can’t even get their basic shit right. Example: is Dracula a vampire or is he not? Because the series can’t decide if it wants to allow people from history OR people from fiction to be summoned, it can’t decide if someone like Vlad III is undead or not. Are you going with the version of history where he was an insane, murderous, nationalistic king? Or are you going with the version from the story of Dracula, a work of fiction? You can’t have it both ways!

Here’s another example: can you summon gods or not? Heracles is summoned, and Heracles is a god. He was literally made into a god at the end of his own story. Even if you go ‘well, the version that people can summon is his non-god self from before the end’ he is still a demigod. Which means that you’re now getting into weird territory where it’s unclear who and what counts as someone who can be summoned.

But then you get into having to think about all the weird historical revisionism that the series plays with. Look, historical fiction can be fine. What I don’t understand is the series’ weird fixation with turning some of histories worst individuals into anime girls. You could certainly, for example, make a version of King Arthur where all the sexes are switched. Granted, a whole lot of the story wouldn’t work, because characters like Morgan Le Fay and Mordred no longer work in their story roles anymore. But you could, theoretically do it. 

What I don’t get is why the series says, ‘you know who we should depict as a kind and gentle anime babe? Nero.” You know, the Nero who kicked his pregnant wife to death, castrated a man and forced him to marry him, put on plays that people were forced to attend and then executed anyone who yawned or sneezed during his performances, and who built a private lake where the Colosseum now is, put a floating house on it, and had the ceiling have an accurate replica of the starry night sky using precious gems, only to then remark that ‘now I can live like a human being.’ Yeah, that Nero. Clearly, this just screams that we need to depict them as being a kind and gentle ruler, and not say, an unstable psychopath who sees himself as a literal god walking upon the earth. 

But that’s not even their worst offence. They turn Elizabeth Bathory into a pop idol. You know, one of histories worst serial killers? The person who had innocent women murdered and then bathed in their blood? Yes, clearly that is someone we should portray as an innocent girl. 

And it’s not like history is lacking in great women who did fantastic things. There are scores of heroines to choose from if you want to use them. You don’t need to pick serial killers and sex change the most insane emperors.

But even some of the ones they do pick don’t make sense. Why the fuck is Marie Antoinette considered a ‘heroic spirit?’ If we go by her in popular myth, she’s best known for something she didn’t say, which is ‘let them eat cake.’ Why the fuck did that mean ‘let’s make her someone who is entirely misunderstood and loves the peasants?’ Also, why a ‘rider’ and choose her for that because of her being pulled in a cart to her execution? The fuck?

It beggars belief. It utterly confounds the mind. It’s lazy, and its shoddy. Almost as shoddy as the notion of ‘classes’ which makes no sense and apparently has a heirarchy, which itself makes no sense if the whole point of having people fight is to decide something. Having people fight where someone gets an innately better class at random makes no sense. Hell, having classes at all makes no sense. Having it be okay for the things you summon to kill those who summoned them to win makes no sense, because if all you needed to do was kill each other, you don’t need heroes to do that! 

Hell, the fact that they’re fighting over the ‘holy grail’ and that it was made in japan is nonsense already. The holy grail is literally arthurian legend. I know japan gets a pass for this shit, but I don’t know why. Everyone rolls their eyes when they say that ancient egyptians look exactly like modern day japanese people, but apparently it’s also okay that they just straight up steal something from arthurian legend as a premise... and then entirely botch that premise or understanding anything ABOUT it. 

Here’s an idea. If you’re going to use the holy grail as your plot device, you know the thing Jesus drank out of at the last supper, maybe don’t then say that people can just make them all over the place? That’d be like if in the last crusade, all of the cups that Indiana Jones found were all capable of being the holy grail. It’s stupid.

Why is it so hard to just do something simple? You don’t need to overcomplicate this shit. Grab some characters who each want a thing they can’t have, have them be represented by some great hero, have them fight for that thing, and you’re done! You don’t need to bring time travel, the illuminati, nonsense magical rules, and metaphysical shit into this! 

Again, maybe the creators have no desire to do anything other than try and see how many awful historical people they can put boobs on. It’s starting to remind me of that book that went around a few years back where someone drew history’s greatest murderers as anime babes, so you could see guys like Stalin, Hitler, and Pol Pot as big tiddy anime girls. Why? Idk. 

But if the series wants to do that, if all it wants to do is wallow around in its own shit, it’s taking way too much time and effort trying to make up stupid nonsense. It’s just so frustrating and disappointing to see an idea with such promise be farted away by people who clearly do not give a shit about what they’re making in the slightest. It’s a damn shame.

[quell-tea-salon]

THE IDOLM@STER SideM 3rdLIVE TOUR report - Makuhari Day 2

The group lineup for Day 2: Dramatic Stars, S.E.M, Cafe Parade, Altessimo, and Legenders. (See set list here.)

Suffice to say, this DraSta/SEM/LegeP died and went to heaven. I had an AltessimoP sitting to my left and a SEM-P on the other side; we pretty much took turns dying throughout the 3.5-hour concert LOL. Also today I had a much better seat compared to yesterday’s live-viewing, which allowed me to appreciate the show even more!! For starters, I could actually see the whole screen this time....

Karino Sho was the MC for today; he gave his signature “SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO desu” greeting, and told us that the concept for today’s performances was “Show!” ....Then proceeded to make a pun of it with his name wwww

With all the groups present on stage, the first song was Reason!!, followed by Cafe’s Reversed Masquerade. Lege took the stage for Symphonic Brave, then it was Alte’s turn for Tone’s Destiny. So far all songs that were in yesterday’s set list.

AND THEN

MY DREAMS CAME TRUE

I GOT TO HEAR SEM SING SAYONARA SUMMER HOLIDAY!!!!! SEM! SUMMER! HOLIDAY!!!! HOLY SHIT DEM HIP THRUSTS UGH SENSEI NOT IN FRONT OF YOUR STUDENTS!!! Yoshiki was downright OBSCENE enokiya's singing was shaky as usual and Totto’s dancing is still stiff (so endearing ;w;) but honestly it didn't matter bc IT'S SEMMMMM

And without giving us time to recover DRASTA BURST ONTO THE STAGE FOR MOON NIGHT NO SEI NI SHITE AND I SCREAMED SO LOUD SKSHAKSHSJDBNAJDHSKDJDN THEY GAVE US THE SLY LOOKS AND BEDROOM EYES AND NAUGHTY WINKS AND LIP-LICKING AND "OIDE ♥" IT WAS HORRIBLE I DIED ABOUT 50000 TIMES you could tell they were having the time of their lives performing it too T_T My throat pretty much died since I was making dying whale sounds the entire time lol i tried not to use my voice after that but the set list continued to be amazing so I couldn’t stop myself from screaming cheering and joining in the song calls.....

After allowing us a short break by way of talk time, part 2 kicked off with Kamiya’s solo A Cup of Happiness! His dance routine included the use of a sparkly pink cane >< So cute and stylish....... Halfway through the song Legenders’ Amehiko and Chris joined him on stage with their own white canes and i freaked out omggggggggg this three make such a handsome picture T_T God, Chris’ long legs and fashion model proportions.,.....

The rest of Cafe Parade joined Kamiya on stage for Cafe Parade! (my fav song of theirs!), and after that was Rei-chan’s solo Echoes My Note, and Alte’s first single The 1st Movement. The AlteP next to me was whimpering the entire time ;w;

I lost my shit again when Lege hopped on stage for String of Fate....... I’ve wanted to watch this R18 performance since forever........ Amehiko’s voice is so smooth and gorgeous and deadly, it’s almost hilarious that his seiyuu Kasama-san is a total gentleman who loves cats and has the temperament of a marshmallow T_T However the strongest singer was probably Fuumin, he hit all the notes consistently (and looked beautiful from every angle gdi).

After another talk break, part 3 began with SEM's Infinite Possibilities!!!! Another classic hit from SideM...... Every time Totto unleashed his magnificent vibrato at "koeTEEEEEEE" we'd burst into cheers!!! They used the pink laser guns in the choreography too, so cute ><

Next was Alte’s Never End Opus....... The famed performance that reduces everyone to tears......... My AlteP buddy was sobbing and even I felt my eyes prickle........ Such a beautiful, heart-wrenching song T_____T

Dramatic Nonfiction!!!! This is my 2nd fav song from DraSta after Moon Night and i know i keep repeating myself, but i’m SO happy that i got to hear them perform this live T_______T It’s uncharacteristically moody for DraSta, the dance choreograph is sexy af and IN THE SECOND VERSE THEY HAD A CAMERAMAN WITH THEM ON STAGE AND THEY UNLEASHED /MAXIMUM/ FANSERVICE AT THE CAMERA DURING THEIR SOLO LINES UGHHHHHHHHHHH I HATE DRASTA, JUST KILL ME (THEY KILLED ME) At that moment I was actually grateful to be at a live-viewing instead of the venue 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

Then Cafe Parade hopped on board the the rail trolleys for A La Carte Freedom, throwing rubber balls at the audience like HiJo yesterday. Later they apologised for throwing too hard and hoped that they didn’t hurt anyone wwwwwwwwwww

Another talk break, then Legenders kicked off part 4 with Legacy of Spirit. LegeP represent!!!

Next was Maitaru’s solo This Is It. Singing’s definitely not one of Enokiya’s strong points, but he’s cute and rly fun to watch, even more so when you know what he’s like irl and thus how seriously he takes his work wwwwwww Teru and Saki-chan jumped in as backup dancers, they were both so sexy and cute (srsly Saki-chan was KILLING IT) and i hate Teru for winking at the camera ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; I love watching Shugon dance, he has so much energy in his movements!!!! Truly a Physical idol <333

The next song began with a minute of taiko drums and we were like “Oh???? Who’s this????? Could it be....???” Then SEM appeared on stage in ouendan outfits and we SCREAMED!!!!!! They recited the senseis’ lines cheering on the students from that scene in ep5 and even did the VICTORY! group pose IT WAS SO GOOD T_____T They shed the ouendan gakuran coats for the song (From Teacher to Future!) though haha. During yesterday’s performance Jirou just kinda collapsed onto the stairs in a fit of exhaustion... Today Hazama-sensei sat on the stairs with his face in his hands ;w; Sensei ganbareeeee

DraSta returned to the stage for Arrive To Star. Tbh it’s probably my least fav out of their songs, along the lines of Starlight Celebrate, which i also wasn’t too fond of until recently (it grew on me). But i do know how important this song is for them as a team, and i’m always grateful for DraSta live performances... IMO they truly are one of the strongest teams in SideM vocally, even if Taku doesn’t always do well live.

DraSta remained on stage and SEM joined them to perform a DraSEM version of Ryuusei Parade!!!!! Nothing beats the original DraSEMJupi version (which we got to hear yesterday!) but i love this song to bits and i love DraSEM, plus it’s highly unlikely that we’ll get to hear this rendition anywhere else, so this was truly a performance to remember *____*

Eternal Phantasia!!!!!! I was hoping that they’d perform this today as it wasn’t in yesterday’s set list T______T This majestic, uplifting song was the perfect lead in to the ending sequence - BeyoDori, followed by encore (they changed into 3rdLive coloured T-shirts for this) songs Glorious Ro@d and the SideM staple Drive A Live :D

As the cast made their final exit from the stage, almost everyone made cute poses at the camera.... DraSta were the last group to leave and those ASSHOLES did a SYNCHRONISED BLOW-KISS at us sahjgfdlDGHLsdfghlfSD I WRECKED MY THROAT FROM SCREAMING AND ALMOST CRIED FROM SHOCK, THANKS A LOT!!!!!!!!!

Other stuff:

Totto is an amazing singer and is always in stoic Hazama-sensei mode during performances, but when he talks his endearing awkward side comes out ;w; Usually Enokiya teases him about it and Yoshiki runs damage control, but today Yoshiki just stood back and Totto complained that recently Yoshiki's been giving him the cold shoulder wwww

Speaking of Enokiya, every time it was his turn to talk he’d break character and yell “LET’S PAAAAAAARTTTTYYYYYYYYYYY” (or smth like that) wwwwwwww The first time he did it Yoshiki’s like “who ARE you???” and Enokiya goes “Well it’s hard on me when i have to follow Totto’s awkward talk time” and Yoshiki retorts with “You just made it hard for me too” LOL

When Cafe Parade said that they’d like to see SEM have their turn on the trolleys, SEM asked if they could throw balls as well, and someone suggested that they throw chalk instead since they’re teachers wwwwww Yoshiki tried to shut down the conversation, saying that he has never met a teacher that actually throws chalk at students, but both Totto and Enokiya raised their hands wwwwwwwwwwww

Since yesterday each and every one of Kasama-san’s messages were heart-meltingly lovely and sincere, and today was no different..... In his farewell message he borrowed lines from Amehiko’s marriage proposal from the mobage event, making everyone squeal/sigh... Kasama-san.....

Ama-chan gave us a very sweet message which almost sounded like a marriage proposal “Please stay by my (our) side forever” so Makonyan imitated Ume’s wedding-proposal-on-one-knee pose from yesterday, and Maria mimed biting his glove wwwww

Fu-kun (Shirou) tweeted: “Yesterday Beit proposed to me, but today I was swept away by DraSta” L O L add SEM’s SSH to that and you have: marriage proposal from Beit -> breakup with SEM -> elope with DraSta

Taso shared that due to individual busy schedules DraSta actually couldn’t meet up for rehearsals, so the first time they managed to rehearse as a group was on the day itself of Makuhari Day 1 (yesterday). Taku joked that he was relieved to see Taso still alive www

It’s no surprise that all three members of DraSta are pretty handsy people (they touch each other a lot so you can tell that they’re really close friends ;w;) but today i noticed that Taso always had a hand on Shugon’s shoulder or back whenever Shugon was speaking ;___; cuteee

During his farewell message Taso said that DraSta’s bond as a team had become even stronger while performing together in the concert, and he believes that Kaoru feels the same about Teru and Tsubasa. Shugon, with the biggest grin on his face, put his arm around Taso’s shoulder and pulled him close, going “Aw, you!”, and Taku chipped in with his Tsubasa voice “Kaoru-san, are you feeling shy ^^?” Taso immediately switched into Kaoru mode and retorted “Shut up, it’s your turn to speak! ///” *UGLY CRYING*

Taku seemed to be in good spirits and didn’t appear to have any injuries, but while the camera was zoomed in on him for his farewell speech i noticed that his thumb was bandaged and his microphone had a handle attached to it. I didn’t notice this yesterday, but then again I could only see half the screen from my first-row seat. If my guess is correct, he probably injured his thumb in yesterday’s accident, and the handle was added to the mic to help with his grip. I’m relieved that he wasn’t seriously hurt T_T Rest well, Taku-chan ><

The next concert will be held two weeks later in Miyagi! I’m attending the LV for day 2. In the meantime, I’ll focus on letting my dead throat recover, so I can kill it all over again in two weeks ^^

[iknownothingihearnothing]

Sense8 Recap: “Who Am I?”

Alrighty, my first recap back from the dead. And I don’t mean as a vampire.

Sense8 is my new obsession. It’s definitely sci-fi, and I always say “Eh, I don’t really like sci-fi. I prefer stuff more grounded in reality.” Yet, my favorite shows are stuff like Game of Thrones and, of course, my beloved Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel. 

I think what really appealed to me about Sense8 was that it isn’t all about pretty white Americans doing pretty white American stuff while being in peril. Don’t get me wrong, the actors are certainly pretty, but they come from all backgrounds, in all different parts of the world. I really dig this Diversity Revolution we’re having nowadays. The television audience is demanding that more types of people are represented and that’s awesome.

Now, I admit that I got into Sense8 originally for one reason. Well, one actor, really:

Hallo, mein Herr! Wie geht’s dir? 

I love Max Riemelt. Like, adore to the point where it should be considered unhealthy but I digress. I have total Max Riemeltitis. See, I love German movies, and Max up there is A Pretty Big Deal in Germany. He’s been working for many years. And I, as a fan, have come to appreciate his body of work...as well as his body.

Eh? Eh?

Hashtag-bad-joke. 

No but seriously. If you wanna check out the guy’s earlier work, watch The Wave, After the Fall, and The German Friend. 

So, I started watching Sense8 for one actor but was drawn in because it’s awesome. All the cast is great in their parts. Yes, they are connected via this psychic thingie but I also enjoy watching their individual lives unfold. Additionally, it helps that our couples have crazy chemistry with each other. 

Especially Kala and Wolfgang. Holy crap! Those two sizzle like pancakes on the griddle.

(This man is a Pancake Artiste and my soulmate.)

I totes ship couples who are undeniably hot for each other but can’t be together ‘cause Reasons. See: the Buffy and Angel UST Factor. 

Good Lord, those two make me wanna kill myself. In a good way. If that’s possible. Y’all B/Aers know what I mean. 

Sense8 explores all the beautiful layers and complexities that make up this insanity that is the human condition. It asks, what does it mean to be human while at the same time making us wonder what the hell is going on. 

Now, on to the episode! We open on Will and Riley, our steadfast Already There couple. Will is tossing and turning. Daryl Hannah Angelica is idling on the staircase, all ghosty because she’s dead and stuff, begging Will for help. Will, for a little refresher, has been trying to help the other sensates with psychic showdowns with Whispers via heroin injections. To double the irony, he’s a cop and has kept his body a temple, yet now he’s a heroin addict. 

In the dream...or is it a memory?...Whispers has a bunch of electrodes attached to his head while he stands next to Angelica and taps stuff into a computer. Some dude, likely a fellow sensate, is strapped to an operating table and seems to be dying. When he wakes up like this--

--Angelica expresses a wee bit o’ trepidation at what they’re doing. Yeah, I’d follow that gut instinct, Angie. 

Whispers, being Mad Evil, holds her hand and kisses her and is all--

I would not trust Whispers to catch me in a Trust Circle. I bet he’d just let me fall to the cold, hard ground. And laugh.

So Zombie Sensate, who kinda looks like Drake, wakes up all Zombied and immediately, under Whispers’ command, it seems, slits some poor schmuck’s throat open.

It’s gross.

Icky!

Angelica says it’s all her fault. Will screams and gasps (I think--Deaf Chick here) and Riley wakes up, soothing him, letting him know that it’s okay and he’s safe. D’aww. Those two are so sweet.

Checking in with Nomi, Amanita, and Mama Caplan, they are tromping through a research facility in San Fran looking for info on genetics. Nomi coyly brings up “homo-sensoriums” with their guide, which are apparently what are Amazing 8 are. So, really, they are, like, a whole new specie of human. That’s nucking futs!

Their guide suggests they go see a Dr. Kolovi at the University of Chicago for more info. She doesn’t agree with his views personally but hey! Who knows, he could be right. People thought Darwin was cracked for his theory of evolution. She tells Nomi a homo-sensorium could walk into her office one day and she’d have no idea. The shit-eating grin Nomi sends her is, well, shit-eating.

Over to Lito, Hernando, and Dani in Mexico City (Isn’t it weird that all the sensates live in *really* populated cities? Mexico City, San Fran, Chitown, London, Berlin, Nairobi, Seoul, Mumbai. No one’s from, like, Bumfuck, Louisiana or Kangaroo Fart, Australia.). Lito and Dani are getting ready for the premiere of Lito’s movie. Remember, he’s been un-closeted ever since Dani’s assdick of an ex leaked her smexy photos. It’s the first real red carpet event Lito’s attended since his outing, and he’s trying to get Hernando to attend. He enlists Dani’s help, and he eventually acquiesces. They kiss--

--while Lito has a mouth full of toothpaste. Look, man. I like a dude with minty breath as much as the next person. In fact, I prefer it. I certainly don’t wanna mack on a guy with breath stinking of Doritos. But there’s such a thing as too fresh, you know what I mean?

Then, as Lito presumably leaves to actually spit out that toothpaste, Hernando wonders if he should be careful what he wished for--being out and proud with his man. 

In Nairobi, Capheus is driving the Van DAMN and it’s interspersed with shots of Lito, Hernando, and Dani getting out of the limo to attend the movie premiere of..I forget what it’s called but the poster features Lito with a nun and a church in the background so you KNOW it’s horridly amazing. Once at the red carpet, a fan gifts Lito with a heart-shaped balloon, which he hesitates to take but does with a thanks. The reporter, Mariana, immediately is on the prowl. She wants to know about those pictures. You know, THOSE pictures. Lito is obviously a bit taken aback and stutters that she went right for the jugular.

Red carpet speak for--

Then she needles him further, demanding to know if he’s denying the allegations and that if he’s a homosexual. Poor Lito asks why that matters and Mariana justifies, “It matters to the fans!” That’s what they all say to get the scoop, innit? 

In Nairobi, Capheus is also being interviewed by a lady who works for the local television station. She wants to know why he is called Van DAMN and he asks her if she’s ever seen Lionheart.

She snipes back that she doesn’t watch movies that glorify violence, ones where the white dude saves the world. 

On the red carpet, Mariana needles Lito a bit further by asking if Hernando is the guy from the photos; she didn’t recognize him with his clothes on. Lito tells her her problem is her lack of understanding and Nomi steps in to point out that labels are the opposite of understanding. 

While at the same time, in Nairobi, the reporter is giving Capheus a hard time about idolizing Jean-Claude because he’s white. Sun steps in to ask what courage has to do with a color of a man’s skin.

Yes! In yo’ faces, Mean Reporter Ladies!

Faced with animosity from both reporters, both Lito and Capheus give a speech about just being a kid growing up watching movies with their moms and aunties but they are not those same people anymore. And when they are asked who they are now, there is a montage of all the awesome stuff that has transpired over the course of the series, and they answer simultaneously that who they are now doesn’t matter because everyone’s their own person. And stuff.

Then they both hug it out in their psychic bro connection thing.

The sensates lucked out. They all truly get along, trust, and respect each other. And we’ll learn over the course of the season that that’s not always the case. I love watching these guys interact, whether it’s coming together to protect one of their own and take down a Bad Guy or just to chill. Lito and Capheus should have more scenes together. 

Zakia, the Nairobi reporter introduces herself as, looks intrigued. Mariana just looks pissed off. 

In the theatre, as Lito on the screen ambles through a cemetery, Lito in his seat tells Hernando a big scene is a-comin’. That big scene is a kiss. Unfortunately, instead of titillating the masses, the crowd just starts laughing. It’s an embarrassing and sad moment for poor Lito and makes me wanna hug him. 

 In Nairobi, Zakia appears, now dressed in street clothes. She wants to apologize for rustling Capheus’ jimmies earlier. He spoke such beautiful words (a lot of them thanks to Lito; Lito is gonna help get him laid) and they moved Zakia. Would Capheus like to join her for a bite to eat?

I love Jela. We could all use a Jela in our lives. Man or woman.

Our next two sensates are our Buffy and Angel of the group. I’m pretty sure there’s no curse involved with these two, however. At least, not that kind of curse. So Kala and Rajan are buying their first house, and Rajan must make a shizload of cashmoney because that is a Cribs-worthy house. Swimming pool and all. It’s so awesome, the whole family stops to take a selfie while they’re exploring so they can brag share their happiness. 

In Berlin, meanwhile, Wolfie and Felix are partying it up in some underground club, getting shitfaced, because that is what they do--that is, other than steal and shoot things. There are quite a bit of club scenes featured in Wolfie’s stories and that’s not just because he’s a badass. I have a few friends in Berlin that tell me you can’t throw a rock in the city these days without hitting the entrance to some illicit club somewhere.

Here’s my favorite German getting more shitfaced.

Entschuldigung...hast du den... *gurgles, smashes through the door*

Some Shady McShade dude comes by their table, introducing himself as Sebastian Fuchs--

*Gigglesnort*. Look, I know. I KNOW, it’s immature and the name means “Fox” in German, okay, I KNOW, and it’s pronounced FOOKS, I KNOW! But...come on, Wachowskis! There are SO many German surnames. Y’all couldn’t think of a better one? A less...non four letter word sounding and looking one? This show is meant for an English-speaking audience, after all. 

I mean, there’s a reason that village in Austria keeps getting its welcome sign stolen by American soldiers stationed overseas, you know. It’s because it says WELCOME TO FUCKING. 

If you can’t read German that says “Please, not so fast”. It’s like they were asking for it. 

Sebastian Fuchs asks Felix if he likes his club. Felix thinks it fucking rocks. Sebastian then decides to just...give it to him. 

Hm. Nothing weird there.

Capheus and Zakia are getting that bite. Zakia wonders how he can be so optimistic. She guesses she’s seen too much bad shit. Capheus counters that her simply being a lady journalist would not have been possible in their grandmas’ day and age. Which is very true. You’ve gotta keep getting up in the morning, he continues, and hope each day will be better than the last. Zakia smiles. 

Back to Will and Riley. Will seems to be having another dreamemory. This time there’s...a house? And there’s Whispers. He’s standing with a lady. Maybe his wife? And kid, riding a horsey?

Yep, she’s his wife. I know because--

Damn. His wife and Angelica. Whispers is a pimp. An evil pimp.

Riley hastily grabs a notepad and asks Will if he managed to get a name. He didn’t but he saw his wife. He’s getting closer. 

Next we have Kala working in her lab when Riley anxiously mind-visits her to tell her that Will is conked out. She mind-rushes to their loft with her supply of medicines to increase his vitamin intake and...science. But, she cautions, this can’t continue for much longer.

All together now--

The poor dude can’t be addicted to heroin for much longer, you say? No shit. 

Nomi, Amanita, and Bug have been trying to do their hacking thang but they cannot seem to crack into the BPO facility in Iceland. Every time they try, they’re very nearly traced and Bug is forced to go apeshit on some innocent laptop. “They’re almost as paranoid as I am!” he exclaims. 

BPO is full of tin foil hatters. 

At the loft, all the sensates are gathered around a still unconscious Will. His chi is low, Sun says. Will has fought hard for them, Capheus adds, but this is a battle he can no longer fight alone. Then Wolfgang steps out of the shadows like a badass and demands Riley not give up on him, as he wouldn’t give up on any of them.

Contrasting with this rather ominous scene is the Rasal family gathered around on the beautiful terrace of their new home in stunning Mumbai. Rajan’s dad has an announcement: he’s gonna run for office. Kala’s father chokes on his wine. Rajan’s mom is supportive but looks skeptical. Kala’s eyes say “oh shit”. 

In Chicago, Nomi and Amanita run to attend a seminar conducted by Prof. Kolovi. In his lecture, he alleges that homo sapiens came along and wiped other species out. So, basically, we’re murderers. Survival of the fittest and all that. Afterwards, they ask him if, as in his book, he believes homo sensorium still exist. He thinks it’s possible or that we inherited some of their traits. Then Neets asks him about a former student of his, a Dr. Matheson. She whips out a photo, and Kolovi recognizes him but he has no idea how to get in touch with the dude. 

On the way out of campus, Neets figures Kolovi could either be an absent-minded professor or a really cunning liar. 

At the loft, Riley is feeding Will this weird Icelandic goop when Whispers shows up. Will seems to have the upper hand on the situation at first, guessing that he is in a facility somewhere in London merely by his suit, the sound of shoes on the floor, the lack of air conditioning, etc. But Whispers quickly retaliates, letting him know that he’s a “fucking amateur”. “They” know that he and Riley are still in Iceland, that they never left. Whispers and his Evil Inc. can hear the birds and the ocean, they know that goop comes from Iceland. It won’t be long before they’ll track down their exact location. Pretty soon they will hear helicopters and Riley will be his. 

That’s when Riley injects the heroin and Whispers goes bye bye. And then shuts the recording of the “birds and sea” off. Leaves the loft. And goes to meet her daddy. In Amsterdam.

They totally fooled Whispers. They’re not in Iceland. 

I love Riley’s dad. I think he should be in every episode, musically narrating everything that’s happening. Of course, since I am Deaf Chick, it’ll mostly be toneless for me but who cares? He is a delight.

See, apparently, Riley has been getting food and meds--Icelandic food and meds, specifically to further the ruse that they’re still in Iceland--from Daddy. He’s been smuggling it all into the Netherlands. But of course, as a spy, he needs to dress the part. 

They’re obviously so happy to see each other and it warms my cold, dead heart. Daddy is on his way to Vienna to perform with the Vienna Philharmonic, because he is that awesome. He also has more goop for Riley. And he worries. 

Still in Chitown, Neets and Nomi go to see this lady Will urged them to drop unannounced to see. She is Sarah’s mother. Sarah, as you may recall, was the kidnap and murder victim young Will saw in his mind last season. 

They ring the doorbell, Mind-Will in tow, Nomi all insecure, telling the woman stutteringly that she’s sorry and this is gonna sound all awks but--

Thankfully, the woman knows already what they’re there for. They’ve seen her daughter, yes? They go inside. The lady brings up her first visitor, a young boy at the time named Will. Her husband didn’t buy it, she said. He thought it was a load of crap and they were being taken for a ride.

The woman, Helen, goes on to add that Will returned when he graduated Cop School, where he confessed to seeing Sarah. Other people besides Will came to share stories of her also. Strangers, she said. Strangers we recognize. Jonas. Angelica. And Dr. Matheson. “Such a nice man.”

Dr. Matheson is Whispers.

Dr. Matheson killed Sarah.

Helen does not have the best judge of character. 

Turns out, they met in the G&T program, of which Sarah was part. Dr. Matheson was her tutor. He walked her home one day and...ugh. Will has not forgotten. Will is going to avenge Sarah’s death.

Cut to Wolfie. He’s watching a tiger pace a cage at the Berlin Zoo in the Tiergarten. Sun appears next to him to ask why the zoo. His mother used to take him there after she and his father fought.

Kay, how adorbs his Little Wolfie?

I want to pinch his little freckled cheeks like my Yiddish Grandma.

That adorable kid will grow up to be Berlin’s biggest badass, who kills his asshole cousin with a rocket launcher. 

Sun muses that cages are hard. Wolfgang counters that waiting is harder. And that;s when Will appears, all sweaty. They know he’s having a dreamvision. Riley, at his side, rushes to tend to him while in his dream, Will explores some sort of fancy office. Riley rushes to alert Kala, who mind-warps to Will to check his vitals and inject him. Then they all descend upon his office. In London.

Will was right.

Nomi uses her hackabilities to track down Whispers. They quickly get leads on his corporate letterhead...

...his boss’s class ring...

..even where the clay dog on his desk is from...

...and that he’s got kids.

Nomi and her crack team find it all within minutes. 

Whispers is busted. And he looks terrified.

Meanwhile, Boss Man is all--

All the while, Nomi is tracking down who this guy is. After a few nos from Will, they’ve got it. He’s Richard Wilson Croome. Whispers/Matheson is astonished at being compromised, spills all his blockers, and scampers out of the office.

In addition, it was kind of cathartic to see Whispers cowtowing and being cowed by Boss Man. He thinks he’s top dog when in reality he’s just a cog in the machine. It’s awesome for the Amazing 8 and us and humbling for His Majesty.

Will concludes the episode by grabbing Whispers by the lapels and biting  THIS fantabulous line: 

“You think you’re hunting us? We’re coming for YOU.”

BAM!

What a great opening! And that last line? Woo, gave me chills, it did. I swear, all these actors are fucking fantastic. And I read they’ve become a sort of family, more so than other ensemble castmates even, because they travel the world together for their show. It’s pretty cool. I can’t wait for more! It’s my new THANG!