#And if you do send me another rude message I'm just going to block you so that you don't have to decide on whether or not to follow me.

[justanothersyscourse]

I think this blog is blocked by fewer people that have heard the rumors and lies going around. I hope you'll read this. There are three sides to every story-- yours, theirs, and the truth.

I deserve to get my side out there so people can make informed decisions about who to follow or block, or whatever it is you need to do. It's okay not to support me, but do it for the right reasons.

I also run sysmedsaresexist, and I'm currently being accused of harassing a minor and sending random ass asks left, right and center.

Listen, if you got an ask where the person didn't say, "this is SAS," it's not from me. I HATE asks. On the rare occasion that I send them, I always tell people who I am. I am well aware that I'm a controversial figure. I want people to know who they're interacting with when I talk to them. I am old. It's important that I'm honest with the people I interact with. A lot of people really stepped up to support me, but I would like people to stop. Unfortunately, it's doing more harm than good.

With every one of these messages people send in support of me, the rumors get worse.

I want to defend myself, but I don't know how.

Send a vent to a vent blog that just actively lied about me? They won't post it. (They didn't, I just checked)

So I'll post it myself. You can make your own decision. All posts I've made on the topic are linked here (it's 5, compared to the DOZENS AEV has posted)

This will be my last post on the topic, and I hope that the people spreading these rumors will leave me alone. You've done more damage and harm to me than you know, and without any remorse or apology.

Ask sent to @anti-endo-haven :

I'm SAS and I'm so hurt.

I have not sent ANY anons to AEV, at all, at any point. I have not ASKED anyone to help me in this,

I made 5 posts. They have made about 50 at this point, all cruel.

The first was to AEV on their first post, which was NOT as rude as people say. I said, look webmd and mayo clinic isn't going to hold up to some of the articles that endos are throwing at us. Try some of these. I said, look, you're going to get really tired of hearing the same endo arguments. Here's some points you can throw back at them.

NOT TO MENTION THE MISINFORMATION IN THE POST. Dissociation is only trauma based? Incorrect. Maybe you should reconsider whether you're ready to be in these conversations.

That response was hidden.

The second post, I was correcting an endo that DID wasn't a trauma disorder. I tagged AEV and said, "see, you can be nice about corrections, and these are the kind of sources you should use."

I was blocked.

THIS IS WHEN I CHANGED LABELS. I was so disappointed in the community that I said fuck that, that's not what I want to be, I don't support this behavior. That's another person that AEV turned pro endo. Good job.

Then I saw the anon saying I was an endo. I used my other blog to POLITELY say, "This isn't true, please stop posting about me like this." This post is still on JAS, I didn't delete it like people are claiming

The fourth post was me making my own public post saying, "this child is throwing a tantrum over corrections. Now l'm pissed and I have to make my own public post so people don't believe those lies." This was the first rude post. I called AEV a blemish, and here's why.

I just made a MASSIVE post about dissociation that is actively being spread within the endo community now. All because I changed my label. I don't care if you all want to block me, but don't pretend that you're all doing anything to help by making bad resources for an audience that already believes the same stuff (all these new antis). Now all the new ones are spreading the same bad sources that don't hold up, and we all (yes, you, me, them, the next CDD system in line) look bad for it.

AEV couldn't provide a single source that said DID WAS trauma based, only "usually" trauma based. AEV actually made antis TURN PRO ENDO, because they used so many sources that said "usually". I offered him sources that said it WAS trauma based.

I'm not kidding, you can find the people that changed sides on sophieinwonderland's blog. This is what happened. I don't need to be polite as pie to people inadvertently harming the CDD community, but I certainly wasn't rude about it

My final post, the fifth post, on the subject was the sad one. "My main was leaked." There are people that stalk my blogs. They send me threats and long asks about the things they'd do to me if they found me. When sophie first came to tumblr, I'd get asks about what people wanted ghost to do to me. In the past, every time a new doxxer comes out of their gross hole, I start getting doxxing threats. l've had people get close to my area.

My main being released means those people are one step closer to actually finding me. It means I'm now getting these kinds of messages in my only safe space.

And the anon who sent my main admitted it was done maliciously. We had a falling out like two years ago, because their asks were getting creepy. When I APOLOGIZED TO THEM for ever hurting them because of my own avoidance issues, and told them that on this post, their response was, "well I enjoyed sending them so fuck you." If I ever find that post deleted, I've got a screenshot. You were NOT a minor at the time, you're an adult.

... Nice, really mature. You're definitely safe for minors.

Hey, also, minors, if an adult you just met online calls you "my kiddo", don't respond with an ovo face. Run.

Adults, if you call a minor your kiddo and they're like, owo really, I'm your kiddo? Fucking run.

Anyways.

I haven't said anything since. What can say. My main is out and I'm getting threats on it. Currently. Not "in the future," like the person said. It's happening NOW.

What do all you people want from me? I AM trying to leave you all alone. Stop saying such terrible things about me, godDAMN. I am not harassing minors. I don't want to harass anyone.

WHAT DID I ACTUALLY DO WRONG? I don't understand.

You're not the good guys you think you all are.

Not anymore.

I don't know that you ever were.

[slutshamethesquirrels]

Shamesy's Declassified Fanfic Writing Survival Guide - Part 3

Help! The world is burning and everything sucks!

hi hi friends!!! welcome back to the fanfic writing survival guide!

today i'm gonna cover a bit of a "no-no" topic, if you will. its something i've been struggling a lot with here recently and something i'm witnessing other authors go through as well: writer's block... or, at least, what you might think is writers block.

today, we'll be talking about what to do when you lose interest in your fic. and, respectively (possibly more importantly), what not to do.

1) Beat yourself up

Look, I know, I know. Theres a chance right now you're kicking yourself and loosing ur marbs because your little writer peanut brain has convinced you that you are satan's incarnate and everyone hates you and wants you to die.

this is, undeniably, untrue. i implore you to do whatever it takes to get out of this headspace before you do anything at all. go outside, touch some grass, maybe eat a bug, just really get in touch with the real breathing world with no fictional dick n balls for a while. however long it takes to realize your intrinsic value is not tied to the fictional dick n balls. there are no fictional dick n balls out there, friends. only real ones.

here u go, look at this:

feel better yet? if not, keep staring until you do. it'll get funny eventually, i swear.

2) Force yourself to write the damn thing anyway

this is only gonna result in a sub-par product, and your readers can tell. no, they can, i promise. it's always evident to me when an author has lost steam.

i dont want ur poo poo writing, and neither does anyone else. i would rather you abandon it entirely than ruin it-- AHT AHT! TAKE UR FINGERS OFF THE KEYBOARD RN!!! NO!!! BAD FIC AUTHOR!! BAD!!

3) Think you owe your readers anything

another controversial statement but what am i good for if not being a big ole bitch??

look, we love our readers. we ALL do but you simply cannot pour from an empty cup for them. you come first, your mental health and general health comes first. your interests come first and your wants and needs come first. if they want superhot!chad!alphamale!jimmy neutron x reader or whatever that fucking badly, they can write it themselves.

1) Write other things!

Yep yep!!! Write a one shot, a drabble, a personal self indulgent story, some poetry, whatever floats your boat!!

Remember, this is supposed to be fun! You are allowed to indulge in whatever you want to, shocker, I know!!! the world is your oyster baby! branch out to other fandoms, re-visit old dead writings you've re-gained interest in, write a character you don't usually write, jump on a roleplay forum and just chill, my dude. kick back and remember why you enjoyed it!

2) Put it on hiatus!

"NOOOOOO!" the readers shout and then immediately explode. "YEEEESSSSSS!" I respond just as violently. Seriously, push it away from your nog for a bit. Let it rest. I would rather see a good chapter from you in six months from now then to get something soulless. If you just cant rn, thats fine!!

3) Grab a buddy and have them critique you

god, i will forever be in debt to @vallification for having this type of friendship with me.

we often think of critique and feedback as a negative, but it can often breathe a new life into your work!! message your most down to earth and honest bud, send the draft over and just say "hey i fucking hate this why do i hate this" and chances are a pair of fresh eyes will be able to point out things to you you didn't see before. nut up and quit being a baby, we all have shit we can improve on. who are you, jesus christ? if yes, could you PLEASE answer my prayers and send me a hot n' spicy mcchicken to my door via drone and/or angelic delivery?? im not asking for much, dude its the best fast food sandwich.

"but shamesy, im super hermit basement dweller core and don't have a friend thats kind of a bitch that would--" yes the fart you do. im right fucking here, rude ass <3 my dm's and asks are always open.

3A) Bounce ideas off said homie

again, val could absolutely sit on my face for this. we throw ideas back and forth constantly. you have no idea how absolutely megamind brain your dogs can be until you ask them.

4) Just start virtually sharting onto a page

this is how suguru blue AND a first time for everything were created!!

just start typing and see what happens! sometimes it doesn't work out (#shamesy's failed ficlets ) but no matter the case it'll help you loosen up a little

5) Take your writing on the go!!

ooooo I LOVE THIS ONE!! Take your laptop or phone to the park, the beach, a coffee shop or cafe and just make it feel less like work and more like play! this can do WONDERS for your creativity! the library is also a great place, because you have so much literary inspiration to quickly reference!

hope this helps!! you can check out my masterlist to find the other two survival guides as well as all my writings! stay cooch!!!

[cleverthylacine]

Okay. Wow. (also feel free to circulate this post to people even if they don't like me)

I didn't want to make a post like this but things have gone too far. I am still not mentioning names. If you know you know, if you don't know, ignore this post and be happy that you don't know.

Yesterday I went on a blitz of blocking people I was told had been sharing my private DMs and talking shit about me behind my back with an artist who is freaked out that I told them I wouldn't take down a reblog, and then explained that they are popular with RavWave shippers, and that I didn't know who they were until other shippers sent me their stuff, because their art does look shippy to us.

It seems that a lot of the people who are really mad about this (and you're welcome to share this one post of mine with those people, though I do not appreciate that their friends have been stalking my blog in general) think that I was trying to ARGUE with that person.

Much as their motivation in drawing the art was not to depict my OTP, my motivation in telling them that they accidentally did was not to argue with them about how they should view the relationship. It was information about why people get what is apparently the wrong idea about their art.

If I were writing or drawing something that was being misinterpreted all over creation, I would want to know why.

Then I would be armed with the knowledge to decide whether or not I wanted to do things differently in the future.

"I don't care what those people think" is a valid decision. So is "hmm, maybe she has a point." Whichever decision I made, I'd want to make it as an informed decision.

I feel a little sorry about this giant misunderstanding, but I'm absolutely disinclined to apologise because:

Their first message to me was insulting. Many people believe that it was a "polite request". But polite words can be used in a thoroughly rude and nasty way. There is no nice way to tell someone that you think they're so nasty you don't want your public posts appearing on their blog.

Saying no to requests is a thing that people are allowed to do.

Their second message to me, which evaded my block because it was sent to another account, was blatantly offensive and went into the quality of my family and relationships. I didn't respond to that because I'd have gone off.

They have their friends stalking my blog and have admitted to doing so, and have responded to venting on my part by vagueblogging in my own blogs by telling everyone that they're the person I am annoyed with and here are the receipts. Seriously, wtf?

I only know this because I'm trying to block all the assholes who are reposting my personal conversations with them, a thing i only know because a friend of mine told me so after receiving a demand they unfriend me.

This person and their friends are sending anon asks to my friends, or in one case, publicly demanding in an RP community, that people who want to interact with them unfollow me, because they will not interact with anyone who interacts with me. Go the fuck back to high school, Regina.

Don't put icing and sprinkles on a pile of shit and tell yourself you gave someone a chocolate cake. This person has never been "nice" to me.

Under the cut: why IDW Ravage would never allow herself to be handled like a pet cat, and why RavWave shippers feel the same way about the Earthspark deleted scenes, even though we know that's probably not what the showrunners meant us to think.

I have come to the conclusion that's it's just another case of antis thinking that if you can see two people in a non-platonic relationship that they think of as family, you're just nasty. Especially if the feline shaped character is being handled like a pet cat.

But the person who said "I look disrespectfully on anyone who ships this, that's just a goof and his cat" has missed the entire point of these characters' relationship. Soundwave would never treat or handle Ravage like she was a pet cat.

Anyone else who says RavWave shippers are nasty because "it's NoRMaL to handle your cat that way" is fundamentally not getting who Ravage is and how she feels about being touched.

Ravage is a sapient adult mech with a full range of sapient adult feelings, and touching her like she's an animal is a microaggression or a macroaggression, depending upon where and how you touch her. The oppression of beastformers is a big fucking thing in IDW 2005. Other beastformers also complain about constantly having to deal with unwanted and disrespectful touching. (Fortress Maximus is a known offender.)

IDW Ravage is sleeping in Megatron's bed throughout MTMTE (when she's under it, she's guarding him). She only allows him to touch her neck in front of others...because behaving like a pet cat increases the chances that people will treat her like one.

(She almost cut Nautica several times. That's another character I ship her with, because what would be funnier than her realising that this actually is a whole ass person and if she can't stop touching her, she might actually be attracted to her?)

(Note: Canonically, Ravage in IDW uses he/him, and I do know that. However, about half the fandom writes Ravage as female. I'm in that half.)

BTW, I feel exactly the same way about the Earthspark deleted scenes. Every RavWave shipper on the planet does. We've talked about it. We realise that the artists and showrunners probably intended it to be innocent on the grounds that she is a cat. But we are also people who like to write her as an adult Decepticon officer with agency and self-respect who wouldn't behave like that in front of other people unless they knew he has privileges they don't.

I am aware that half the fandom draws Ravage art that's basically cat memes. (I hate that so much. But as a proshipper, I recognise people have the right to depict characters any way they want. That doesn't mean I haven't had to vent to people like @bitegore and @miner16 to keep myself from saying something.)

Also, I strongly suggest that people who get this worked up about misinterpretations of their art or writing do not become professional creators. As a member of fandom since the 1970s, I'm kind of super extremely aware that most of what fandom does is counter to what the creator intended, and frequently that's the point.

I'm also kind of super extremely aware that if you don't have loads of people reinterpreting and remixing your work and your characters, that actually means nobody cares about your work enough to have blorbo feels about your characters.

(The side poll, which came from another blog and mentioned no names, was an irritated attempt to find out whether people really do think it's normal to cuddle your mom that way, because the second message insinuated that my mother and I must have a terrible relationship because we don't touch each other like that. I kinda wanted to know what people who were not predisposed to take my side and did not know what was going on would think of that idea, because I really do not think most people touch their mothers like that; their mothers aren't nonsapient animals and would thus consider it weird and inappropriate.)

[seriouslysam8]

Hi Sam, I’m a huge fan of all your series and your writing. You inspired me to write, but sometimes when I compare my writing to other, mine for a lack of better word, sucks. I get so embarrassed that I often delete it or never look at it again. I would say I'm an okay writer but I know I have a lot to work on. I received an anon message a while ago telling me my story was horrible and a few other things so I stopped after that because... well I just felt ashamed. I turned off my asks after that. Do you have any advice? Do you ever feel like this? And how do you overcome it? How do you deal with the negative feedback?

This just breaks my heart.

I have felt like this a lot. When I first got back into the fandom, my stories were ripped to shreds. I was told my headcanons were all wrong and was told who I should read because they had better headcanons than me and I could learn a thing or two. I was told my AUs were stupid and that put me off to writing AUs for the longest time. I felt like I was boxed in and creativity wasn’t appreciated. I have gotten a lot of negative feedback to the point where I almost quit writing for the fandom multiple times. I have deleted some stories and abandoned some stories from when I first started writing.

Here’s the thing, people are mean. People are cruel. For some reason, people think that since nobody can see their face and they can go on anonymous, it’s acceptable to be rude and blunt and just a plain mean asshole. They say things they’d never say to someone’s face because they’re a coward and hide behind a keyboard.

I know how hard it is to drown out those awful people. I fret and worry still when I write that I’ll get hate for something. I’ve taken to blocking certain tumblrs, ignoring some asks, and separating myself from toxic spaces within the fandom. I’ve just deleted negative reviews and tried to put them out of my mind, because what else can I do?

This is why I always ask people to review if they like a story. Because if everyone who followed a story reviewed and said something nice, it drowns out the hate and the meanness. It’s easier to keep writing when you have people who are encouraging and nice. I’ll never understand how someone can read something they enjoy for free that takes days to write and edit and not even leave a review to encourage the writer to keep going. It’s not a lot to ask.

I don’t think you’re alone. I see so many authors abandon stories because nobody reviews or they only get negative reviews. I’ve done that as well. Then I see readers complaining that a story has been abandoned but I bet they never once left a gushing review. A little bit of kindness goes a long way. Unfortunately, not many people want to be kind.

I have a small group of readers who review everything I write. I love them. I write for them. I’ve become friends with a few of them. I am so grateful and I keep writing for them and only them. I had someone private message me the other day asking if I took requests and I said no because that person has never once left me a review. I thought, why would I take a request to write a story they want if they never once have shown me any love? So I write for my besties who always review and I focus on the love and appreciation they have shown me story after story after story.

The best advice I can give you is don’t stop. You’re just starting out writing. Do you want me to send you my first story I wrote back in the fandom?? I deleted it because it was so terrible. But you’ll never get better if you don’t keep writing. You kind of just figure things out as you go. You’ll only get better and better if you soldier on. You will get those cheerleaders who love your stories and make it all worth it.

I am always open to talking. Just send me a private message on tumblr or discord and I am more than happy to encourage you and help you as much as I can. I think we all need to support one another and show some love to creators.

[starlightandetherealshadows]

an assortment of author rambles (7/24)

Hi honeybees,

I have a couple of things I need to address before they get out of hand. There’s also some updates in this mix. ༘⋆♡⸝⸝💌⊹。°˖➴

I’m endlessly appreciative of the people who are supportive; the plethora of asks I’ve received that have been sweet and thoughtful have warmed my heart.

I’ve gotten a few messages that go something along the lines of “do ___ or I won’t read your IF” or “thanks for making ___ change, I’ll still be reading” and it’s pissed me off enough to address it.

It’s physically impossible for me to please everyone. Do not send me messages like this. You will be blocked. Yes, even if you’re saying you’re still reading my story. Because you’re not saying it out of interest and out of love for the world I’m creating, you’re saying that because you got your way.

I have different options of approaching my interactions on here. I would prefer to be transparent with you all in my writing process; I also don’t want to create false expectations by not updating you all on ‘major’ story changes. Authors change elements of their story all the time. It's part of the game.

That being said, I have the ability to just write my story and post updates when it’s necessary. There’s no obligation to be interactive. Not ideal for me and my personality type, but if it saves me stress and prevents me from receiving rude, entitled messages, then so be it.

If I need to, I'll turn off anonymous asks for the time being.

Anyways, updates.

To everyone that's sent in their thoughts on MC stat checks or romance routes, I did read all your messages and thank you for your opinions! I didn't respond to all of them, but they are appreciated.

The V romance isn't working and i have to remove them as a triad RO. It's like putting a square peg in a round hole and hoping no one notices. Polyamorous people or people who want to experience a healthy, equal triad relationship deserve better than what the V romance would turn into. With that in mind...

V-type poly with V and MC dating Zero and not each other still works just fine. Any and all MC's can romance Zero, can still fight with V and gain friendship/rivalry with them.

If V is removed as a RO outside of the v-type poly, that means I would add another as an official RO. I'm between Carter and Delphine. Leaning towards Delphine because she's gorgeous and sapphic and I adore her. She would be introduced a few chapters in. Carter and Maggie would remain as flings/possible additions to the group scattered throughout. That would make the official RO's A, C, D, X, Z.

No MC stat checks to initiate any of the RO routes. If there are some incompatibilities, that will be a conversation with the RO and you might get more of a slow burn romance (ex. stoic MC's with C) There might be personality/stat checks to initiate certain moments in the romance (ex. if you're a very sarcastic MC, your RO may not think you mean your affections and you'll have to put in the work to convince them)

I'm gonna get to everyone's asks!! (eventually) I work during the day and I'm writing essays for my medical school applications which take up a lot of my time. So if it's been a while since you've sent your ask, don't worry. I'll get to it! Especially if it's a RO reaction or lore related, those take me much longer to write and cost more energy. But i do love chatting with y'all, so I try to carve out some time for that.

Do not send asks complaining about the changes; they will be ignored and/or deleted. I share them to be transparent.

Okay I think that's it for now. Thank you again for all the amazing messages y'all have sent and I'm sorry for this tone switch, just needed to clear this up. ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

I'll be online later tonight to answer more fun asks and be silly goofy with y'all!! (and if you read all this, thank you for reading my lil novel of a post)

All my love,

Cheye

[dracanianwyvern]

Fuck it. Long post incoming, which hopefully will be my final shit on this whole drama. Below the cut, read if you want.

While yes, you made the tpc tags kerf, that does not mean you can try and gatekeep somebody out of another tag they made. If you don't want to see somebody in a tag you made, just block them. You do not have to gatekeep a tag of a community they are in, it just comes off as rude.

Also, this next bit is directed at both you and cintagonisupset, if you did not want a debate over something you posted make it clear on the post otherwise others will debate with you about it. Also, you both intruded on a conversation between two blogs. Yes it was on one of your posts, but you were not involved in the conversation. You could of handled this situation very differently, but you didn't.

You two instigated the whole drama just by wording a request wrong and then going out of your way to harass those with a different opinion to you, while yes you most likely had your reasonings behind it... it most likely isn't a good enough reason to have done what you did.

Next section? Cintagonisupset, this is mainly about you now.

From what I've heard, you've been an absolute dick to a multitude of people and from the confidence of others speaking up from this current drama, they're speaking up. Not to mention, you haven't given your side of these new issues. So, I cannot even be in your side for all this drama from the hole you have dug yourself into here. Karma is collecting your debts, and OH BOY will it be messy. You did this to yourself, nobody can help you now.

Dulcetmoony, don't think your getting off the hook either.

You had said you were willing to talk it out with those you affected, only to apologise and then block goldy before they could respond. You weren't involved from the start, yet you jumped in anyway to defend your friends. I get that, but you could have been WAY MORE civil about it. But you weren't, and here we are instead.

I'm willing to tear into myself here too., I know I'm not above what I've contributed.

I got involved, I sent an anon hate ask which I still regret even though the one I sent it too has forgiven me for it. I got involved by sending the information to prettybeegkittykat via some asks, therefore "stirring the pot" [captain-kretsnik's words, not mine] more then it already had been. I caused myself to loose a mutual over this, however in my eyes? I shouldn't be blaming myself for a good portion of this, yet I am. Plus, I had been planning on creating art for captain-kretsnik at some point. Never got round to it.

Finally, a message to all involved.

This could have been handled alot better then it was, but now? Now we've got to deal with the pit we all helped dig, and karma will not let it go by cleanly for some. This is one deep pit, and it appears it might go deeper. I've already tried to fill in my contribution to this hole, both with the two past posts relating to it and now this one. I hope you all can do the same.

[kyra45]

This is kind of sad but I think I know what's going on. You posted some harassing anons, and people blocked you maybe because they didn't want to see things like that (based on how somesone said not to post that content untagged,) then someone sent rude asks and now you're attributing it to one person who blocked you. Do you know how many other people blocked you? What evidence do you even actually have that proves they're connected to the asks? I blocked you too! You say you're trying to avoid drama or smearing other people but you're just making passive aggressive remarks trying to smear them like a concern troll, truly despicable, rethink your life.

I've been following you on another blog for a while, and it's very obvious what the url is because you've been posting their posts left and right for days. And if sending an ask telling you my thoughts is "harassment" just because it's calling you out on something you've done that isn't nice, I don't know what to say, holy crap. What.

The only reason I'm still here is because I'm scared you're going to call me out for blocking you too. And the whole "please don't harass them" after practically spelling out their name (what other blog calls themselves "scam archive" that has interacted with you?) is like putting a pile of meat in the middle of a pack of dogs and expecting them not to lunge for it. It's fake kindness. It's like people making callouts and telling people "don't harass them", it never works lol. Now I'm really mad lol, christ. I was expecting better from this blog.

Literally know that and read it, the emphasis is on NOT REPLYING. Takes half a second to delete the messages as they come in. You're feeding and enabling them and they're getting a laugh out of it.

But sure, I’m lying about the asks I got that made me cut ties with someone. I even had the original post not rebloggble because I didn’t want it to go anywhere.

Before the last ask, I was literally told “Saying you can’t do anything is learned helplessness” when i had explained:

1. My stalker uses a VPN

2. VPN’s get around blocks

3. My stalker can/will make multiple accounts to send me asks even if I’ve continue ignoring/blocking them

I am also making this post not rebloggable but apparently I’m ‘lying’ and acting ‘suspicious’ just because the whole situation made me extremely uncomfortable and I don’t like discussing it to people using anonymous. These asks only stopped when I blocked someone and no more has been sent since. While I can’t say for sure it was who I think it was, I remain clear when I say don’t harass them. I’m still doing what I do here.

But don’t you dare come here and dismiss what I went through and accuse me of something. They talked to me and all they did was call me a child and blame me for harassment towards them when I don’t condone anyone sending it. I’m not a child. But if the harassment is that bad then I’m sorry but I’m not telling people to go harass anyone in any fashion and it’s not my fault if someone does it. If they say I sent them their lying and I make it quite clear that no one should be getting harassed just because I talk about them.

Do you think people will publicly admit to sending someone anon hate on this hellsite? No. Because we all know what would end up happening.

[auxiliarydetective]

Thank you for your response but literally I'm not sure how to take it at face value because I witness on real time you reblogging stuff for the fyeah blog and there's a number of people you passed over whilst acknowledging others. I just take it because you know them but it's put me off big style because handpicking 'popular' creators to interact with is pretty common on here. I know you can't interact with everyone but it's just suspicious you only pick people with their posts commanding a lot of notes. There's a lot of random people making OCs so I'm guessing you're making sure what is most beneficial to you subconsciously

Don't worry about it we interact with the community in different ways so it's cool you do it your way and I'll just keep away and do my own little thing and won't tag the fyeah blog etc

I think there's been a misunderstanding here. If you want reach, tag the fyeah blog. That's the best way I know and how I met the friends I have right now. I reblog stuff for the fyeah blog, yes. But I only reblog stuff for the fyeah blog that has the fyeah tag. That's how fyeah blogs work. The fyeah blog is an old concept and I'm just a worker bee for one of them. The people whose posts I reblog have that many notes probably because they got reach through the fyeah blog or through the ocappreciation blog. You've got your causalities mixed up, but I get why that would happen. There's no way to tell when a post got its notes. Also I tend to be fairly late on some of the reblogs because I'm busy studying, so that might be another reason.

If the people I passed over have the tag #fyeahonepieceocs on their posts, I honestly don't know how I managed to miss them. We had a phase where all mods were busy and nobody had the time to reblog anything, but I was convinced that we had caught up. If the posts are older than the fyeah blog then that's also a possible reason. The only other reason I could think of is that I could have someone blocked, but I don't block any blogs except ones that look strikingly like bots. Which, for any new Tumblr users: If you haven't changed your profile picture and don't have a description or anything, people will assume you're a bot and block you just to be safe. That's nothing against you personally, that's basic Tumblr safety.

Either way, my point being: I don't reblog posts based on popularity, I reblog posts solely based on whether they have a certain tag, which is stated in the blog description. If there's posts that I'm missing, please let me know. The process for fyeah blog reblogging is literally: I check the fyeah tag, then I queue all the posts since my last check in chronological order. That's it.

My second point: Please, do the opposite of what you said in your last paragraph. I'm asking you to send me a message so I can get to see your OCs. How do you expect me do find your OCs if I don't even know what your URL is? Or just send me your post somehow? If you want me to appreciate your OC, I need to see it, so let me see it.

I hope this cleared things up in case you were confused about how reblogging for the fyeah blog works. If this is a me problem of me not seeing posts in the fyeah tag, I can try asking someone else to help out, but otherwise I don't know how to help you. We as a mod team do not have the capacity to go through the entire one piece oc tag, especially since I'm currently solo-ing the blog because everyone else is busy, so we narrow it down to just the fyeah tag. If your post isn't in that tag, that's not our fault.

Once again, hope this helped, hope it didn't come off as rude and hope to get a message from you with your OCs!

[taee]

All power to you for loving it but I fucking hate it. What are they even trying to say in the chorus? For real please explain.

Oh wow. I've never had someone demand something in such a rude way before but today's your good day, I'll humor you.

Funny how you decided to only focus and pick on the english lyrics in the chorus among the other korean lyrics in the entire song by a korean singer but you do you I guess. I'm not saying you can't have your own opinion, you can. And I know it reads awkwardly in english but I believe its fair to look at the entire song and the message it is trying to put across carefully before making your judgement and sending this in literally right after listening to the song.

Before I start, please know that these are just MY own interpretation of the song, from MY own perspective. More under the cut.

Yoongi said the song conveys the message he wanted to tell himself, and that it was written when he couldn't do anything during Covid-19, when he thought he 'lost' everything.

"So time is yet now Right here to go"

I'd assume what he meant here is that the sense of time is lost. Time is flowing by so readily that now doesn't feel like now anymore. Notice how so many of the scenes in the mv have different lightings to show different times of the day? In a blink of an eye its sunset, another sip of his coffee and its day time again. I'm sure I don't need to talk about how the pandemic has distorted the sense of time for some of us.

"I know you know Anything does know"

I believe this refers to the fact that he knows he needs to face up to something or to break out from a certain cycle. Perhaps regarding coming to terms with the fact that something is lost or gone? Since he does also sing: "So far away, you’re gone Getting far away Too far away, you’re gone I know I have to know"

And then in the next one:

"Nobody doesn't know anymore"

Its a double negative so it basically means everyone knows now. Maybe at the end of everything he does come to a conclusion. On why he is feeling a certain way or why things turn out to be what they are.

Again I need to stress that these are just MY own views. They may or may not reflect Yoongi's own thoughts. I only said so much because you asked me to explain, and so I did. If you still hate the song, that's okay! I love it and I will continue to rave about it, just so you know you can block me if you're following me so you won't have to witness me filling your dash with content about the song you hate. Have a great day ahead!

[t-lostinworlds]

no, your likes aren't public, but i saw that you did like it when i was going to block everyone who interacted with that rude post and i was just shocked that you, someone i genuinely respected, did. you can rail against me being a 'bad' friend all you want, but i don't get why you can't see how that MIGHT be a little upsetting especially when you've made friendships over this fandom?

you can say the post wasn't that serious all you want, but genuinely, this about the same person who just a few months ago said that he was dealing with anxiety over seeing the mean crap people say about him online, and that WAS mean crap. there's just SO many better ways to express that you want him to work rather than calling him 'fucking pathetic'. like that is just wild to me and two faced as hell when no one here had any problem with him taking some time off when he was recently at home.

it just truly sucks that so few of the people i'm friends with here have the maturity to realize that it's just simply not a big deal if he's in a relationship. of all the things for yall to be mad at him over, THAT really takes the cake. anyways, i absolutely stand by what i said. aiming that amount of vitriol to a dude who has done NOTHING wrong is making this fandom just miserable and i truly cannot believe it happens over and over again every time he's seen with her. it's toxic and i'm just so frustrated you can't see that.

honestly, how will i even know who you are when you're sending me asks ON ANON. bro, my dms are open to EVERYONE. literally anyone can send me a message whether i follow them or not. i have that open so people can reach out to me any time they want whoever they might be but you choose to send me this as an ask over ANON. do you know what message that sends me? you want this public. you won't say this shit to my face bc then it's just you and me having a conversation. but you want to let all the people know how much of a 'horrible person' i am so then you can have more anons to back you up. bc power in numbers right? until someone is driven off this site? what kind of friend does that make you?

and all because i liked a post. it's actually funny how you got all of those claims from me liking ONE SINGLE POST. you're accusing me of attacking tom, of berating his whole entire being, of disregarding his mental health when all i did was like a post that said they missed the days when tom was seen as an individual. and i honestly don't see where your problem with that is. why is it such a crime for people to want to support his craft and his craft alone? and fine, the language was a bit offhanded but i've literally seen people call him WORSE THINGS on actual sites he can SEE. hell i saw another post in the tags that spoke meaner things about him which i don't even agree with. but me liking a post that deadass wasn't so fucking deep and was literally one single sentence compared to a whole article is suddenly a testament to my whole being and how awful i am? why are you acting like i've made such a disgusting take when I DIDN'T EVEN MAKE THE DAMN POST. it's such a crime to fucking like things without it having a deeper meaning nowadays huh?

i honestly really want you to show me all the times i made a big deal out of this relationship. or me being mad over it bc it honestly feels like you're just dumping this all on me just to get your frustration towards other people out. bc by this point, you're just putting words in my mouth. is it bc i'm not reblogging stalkerish photos of them? is it bc i have said NOTHING about it instead cooing and awwing at every picture? is that why you immediately came to a conclusion that i have such a problem with him being in a relationship bc i am not waving a big banner that they look so darn cute together?

and you know what, i wasn't going to add this but fuck it. i'm pissed now. it's so fucking rich of you to keep talking about his mental health and how i'm causing so much damage to it when i have said nothing bad about this guy in my own posts or made my own takes on a site he has no idea exists when you're not even stopping to think about what you are doing to my mental health by coming to my own safe space guns blazing accusing me of shit i didn't even do. a bit hypocritical if you ask me. or maybe i just need to be rich and famous for you to actually care about that too.

[thewarpath]

#THEWARPATH is an independent & selective roleplay blog ft. PANAM PALMER of cd projekt red's CYBERPUNK 2077.

RULES.

when  it  comes  to  following,  i  do  consider  myself  selective  because  i'd  rather  have  a  dashboard  filled  with  content  that  i  enjoy  seeing.  i tend  to  forgo  following  people  who  seem  to  be  fans  of  discourse  surrounding  entertainment  rather  than  entertainment  itself,  so  if  i  find  that  your  blog  mostly  consists  of  "hot  takes"  and  "unpopular  opinions"  then  i  will  be  uninterested.  similarly,  if  you  participate  in  call-out  culture,  drama,  witch-hunting,  moral  grandstanding  and  the  like,  then  i  will  be  uninterested.  i made  this  blog  for  fun  and  i want  to  befriend  people  who  are  here  for  fun,  not  to  be  miserable.

also,  i  ask  that  you  only  follow  this  blog  if  you  truly  intend  to  interact.  i  don't  accumulate  followers  for  the  hell  of  it  and  i don't  want  to  be  treated  as  just  another  number  to  a  person's  amount  of  followers.  i  will  take  the  initiative  to  get  things  going  but  should  i  feel  that  you  are  not  reciprocating  my  efforts  after  some  time,  i  will  soft-block  you.  rp  is  a  two-way  street.  this  isn't  to  say  that  i  expect  speedy  replies  or  nonstop  activity  from  you,  just  don't  make  it  seem  as  though  i  have  to  chase  you  because  i  won't.

speaking  of  replies  and  activity,  i  may  be  slow  sometimes,  i  may  be  fast  sometimes,  it  all  depends  on  my  mood  and  the  state  of  affairs  in  my  personal  life,  really.  needless  to  say,  this  is  a  hobby,  so  i  will  get  around  to  things  at  my  leisure.  please  do  not  act  entitled  to  my  time.  if  you  are  concerned  about  whether  I  have  seen  something  that  you  sent  or  the  status  of  our  thread,  feel  free  to  make  that  known  to  me.

i'm  going  to  be  blunt  here  and  admit  that  i  love  having  romantic  and  sexual  connections  for  my  muse!  if  you  see  a  prompt  where  it's  implied  that  the  two  of  our  muses  are  partners,  fuck  buddies,  friends  with  benefits  or  whatnot,  and  you  want  to  send  something,  send  away.  or  we  can  plot  and  discuss  ideas  and  possibilities.  or  we  can  just  do  a  build-up/slow-burn  and  see  where  the  chemistry  takes  things.  all  in  all,  don't  be  shy  if  you  want  some  panam.

now,  i believe  i  should  mention  that  i'm  okay  with  writing  nsfw topics  and  i'm  old  enough  to  do  so.  i  don't  tag  the  common  triggers.  considering  i'm  roleplaying  a  character  from  cyberpunk 2077,  violence,  blood,  gore,  exploitation,  genocide,  etc.,  will  likely  be  depicted  in  abundance  here  whether  through  images  or  writing.  if  that  isn't  something  you  can  handle,  simply  do  not  follow.  any  depictions  that  are  particularly  egregious  or  jarring  may  be  tagged,  but  I  doubt  i'm  going  to  go  out  of  my  way  to  reblog  anything  that  fits  this  criteria,  honestly.

i'm  okay  with  fight  threads!  altercations  are  bound  to  happen  given  that  panam  is  a  bit  standoffish.  if  plotting  these  types  of  threads  are  easier  for  you,  come  message  me  and  we  can  plot,  but  i'm  fine  if  it  just  happens  spontaneously  and  we  wing  it!

i  repeat:  panam is a bit standoffish.  her  views  and  opinions  are  not  reflective  of  my  own.  i'm  not  projecting  myself  onto  her  in  any  way.  her  being  rude  to  your  muse  isn't  indicative  of  how  i,  the  mun,  feel  about  your  muse or you, as the mun.

please  reblog  everything  from  the  source.  i  don't  want  my  activity  feed  to  be  cluttered  so  i  can  keep  track  of  interactions.

please  respond  to  my  answer  to  an  ic  message  you  sent  in  a  separate  post,  do  not  reblog  the  post  containing  the  message/answer  itself.

as for the mun, you can call me belle and refer to me with she/her pronouns!  i am over the age of 21, and  i  have  discord  and  it  will  be  made  available  to  mutuals  who  ask  for  it. 

ABOUT.

NAME: panam palmer. AGE: 26-33 years old ( verse dependent ). GENDER: female. CLAN: aldecaldos. RESIDENCE: the badlands, nusa.

while she'd be the first to admit that she's impulsive and acts before she thinks, her heart is usually in the right place with the intentions behind her actions, even if they are executed recklessly. panam is unwilling to yield when it comes to the things that are important to her, such as the direction of the aldecaldo clan, for example. saul bright, the leader, wants the clan to merge with a corporation to ensure the clan's longevity, while panam believes doing so would sacrifice their freedom, a privilege that is exclusive to nomads and ought to be one they keep in a world that's rapidly becoming enslaved by corporations. their differences in opinion naturally leads to conflict, shouting match after shouting match ensues, and panam decides to head to night city to live independently as a mercenary, leaving her family behind. some of her close friends advise against it, but being stubborn, she proceeds anyway and quickly finds out why they were opposed to her decision. in night city, she gets work under rogue and is partnered with a guy named nash, who ends up betraying her during an assignment to deliver merchandise, both stealing the merchandise and her thornton vehicle. panam then found out he was raffen shiv, a derogatory name for sociopathic nomads who were banished from their own families for some egregious reason. enraged, panam went to rogue and expressed her indignation, and rogue coldly tells panam to resolve the matter herself.

so, with the help of v, a mercenary sent by rogue, panam was able to retrieve the merchandise and bring it to 6th street, the buyers, and retrieve her thorton in exchange for helping v with their business in the badlands.

after being exposed to the treacherous and cutthroat nature of night city, panam returned to the badlands and her family with her tail tucked between her legs, though remained too stubborn to admit that some of them were right that she'd hate it there and would eventually find her way back home.

and she was welcomed back, but her quarrels with saul continued. even though the two of them went out of their way to save each other on separate occasions because they're family, they still disagree on what the clan's future should look like. it's only a matter of time before one backs down or things come to a head...

[jinx-on-mars-19xx]

Look who's back! Or maybe I have multiple bullies. I blocked whoever it is but I can't pass up the hypocrisy of this message.

Do they not realize THEY'RE the reason I feel so easily anxious and hurt by things? I get anxiety every time I open Tumblr anymore because I'm always expecting an anon bully. When I scrolled through that page I didn't know if it was a bot or not, I actually haven't dealt with bots much. I don't know what to look for if they're not soliciting me in messages. Because of shit like this I'm actually quite nervous to interact much at all anymore because who knows when it might end up like this.

It would have been just as easy to say "hey that was probably a bot. Don't worry!" But instead they needed to be an asshole. That post that the "bot" used and seemingly insulted was from a very traumatic day so I was upset seeing it used for something rude. I hope not having empathy makes your life easier, but I'm done letting you fuck with me.

I have a few theories on who it is, which if I'm right (because they ask things I've only told a few people) I'm genuinely disturbed and disgusted. If I'm right two of their pages are blocked already but I know they have more. I'm just sorry for anyone who feels the need to do this.

I truly hope their life gets better, I can't imagine needing to find someone who's self admittedly physically and mentally sick, weak, and constantly anxious. I have a severe fear of people and I'll freely say this has set me back. I don't see weakness in admitting when I'm hurt or upset and I'm genuinely so sorry for them that they see shame in that. I'm still here and I'm still fighting to get better without needing to cause pain in the process. I don't truly believe this is over because I know they can easily make another. But I hope they can get past whatever is bothering them so much and stop needing to act like this.

To all my other mutuals, I hope you're doing well. I think a lot of you are here because I'm just real, I don't really hide shit. I try to make this a nice place for everyone and I apologize there are bullies trying to mess that up. I don't plan to let them make me go away because there's so much more love than hate. I'm sending you all so much love! Have an amazing rest of your weekend 🖤🩷🖤

[rail-jack]

Wait, what’s the full deal on Mara? She has me blocked too but for other “crimes” lmao

Every system and alter in the fandom, who has this somewhere visible on their profile, has been blocked by her which equates to 0 alters or systems in her stex server. Which is equal to actively excluding and discriminating based on disability and neurodivergency.

Our crime is simply existing. A lot of the alters in the fandom haven't been allowed the chance to interact or even know that there is another stex server besides the one that @gb-diesellok owns. I saw an ask where she said she is happy we found a place or something like that.

But that is because she basically forced Greaseball to make his own community where he would not be bothered for simply existing as he is. He has been told that Marastriker has made people believe that he is a problem person when it is simply not the case. He was treated atrociously. He was treated in a way that would fucking infuriate and trigger every trans person. I say trans because alters can experience a lot of the same feelings trans people do about our body, gender, personal identity, ect..

He was basically told 'i don't see you as Greaseball so I'm not calling you Greaseball. Pick a different name because i will not call you that" How would you feel if you were told that you should change your name to be allowed to still be part of a community? To be told that people won't respect your identity and choose to call you something else because THEY don't feel comfortable about your name? To be told that your name 'doesn't really matter' and if you can't compromise you will be kicked out from the community? Because that's what happened to him.

To be invited back?? and then told "I won't force anyone to be nice to you" when all he wanted was for the actual mods to not be so obvious in ignoring him until they found the most petty thing to cause an issue about (a single deleted message) because wel he was told he doesn't deserve special treatment (asking to be called his own name is a basic right, not special treatment )

but some specific person who is the owner's friend does get special treatment because of memory issues. Despite at the time the rule was dont abuse deleting messages (all members were allowed to delete messages) and apparently deleting a single message is abuse of the ability. Why not just get rid of this permission from the roles? That is not Greaseball's problem. It is a problem with a rule that allows it and the mods having it against him and twisting a rule to punish him for doing what was allowed in the first place.

I could go on. He has been painted as some mean and rude person but neither he nor I have been given a list of things he has done wrong. She just needs to say she fucking hates people that aren't the "Correct" or "Accepted" type of neurodivergent. Because that is the message she is sending to a whole group of people who just want to interact with everyone else but aren't allowed to because they are being gatekept from a fan community server based on what they are. (Unless the wording has since changed)

Greaseball has taken back his acceptance of her apology because he believes it was simply for face saving so she can appear friendly to new faces who don't know he isn't the first to be treated like shit. Everything she has done has been swept under the rug because if you speak up. The flying monkeys will begin to dm you and then leak your dms to her. Like please be a little less fucked up??? You don't have to involve all your friends because you just don't want to be nice to the guy named Greaseball?

Don't know, does any of that ring a bell to you? Have you been treated like this?

And you know she might go "oh don't bring up drama" it's not drama if it's fucking true. She just wants to silence her victims.

[cacodaemonia]

I wanted to thank someone who recently messaged me with information I had been unaware of regarding @leias-left-hair-bun having said some racist and transphobic things and then been dismissive and rude to those who tried to explain to her why those things were hurtful. To be clear, this is not a call-out post so people will go harass her (if she comes back online). Don't do that. But since I didn't know about it, I thought others might not as well, and I'm sure many of you would like to be aware of this kind of thing, as I wish I had been.

I won't name names, but to the person who alerted me, thank you again! I spend very little time on Tumblr, block and filter a lot of usernames, and don't scroll, so I'm very grateful that this individual took the time to have a conversation with me rather than sending vague anon asks, like a couple I've gotten in the past few months and just went ??? at.

I also wanted to apologize for hurting anyone inadvertently with my lack of knowledge. I didn't intend to hurt anyone, but it doesn't matter that I didn't know—I should still apologize. And I realize that's probably worthless, but it's all I have to offer besides letting people know the basics of what happened.

@omiomicron, @leeleebee, @alamogirl80, and I approached LLHB (only one of us spoke with her so it wouldn't seem like we were ganging up) as people who have been friendly with her, though I know others have done the same to no effect. It was made clear that we wanted to help her understand why she had hurt people in order to prevent her from doing further harm, but also that we didn't think she had done harm intentionally. Harm is still harm, whether or not it was intentional, but in any case, she refused to accept any responsibility for the things she's said, and was more focused on semantics and her opinion on other people’s pain, rather than the pain itself.

I'm a firm believer that, when you know better, you should do better, so when LLHB simply insisted we would have to agree to disagree over some very serious, fundamental issues, we decided the conversation was over and blocked her.

As I said, this is not a call-out post, but I think the matter is serious enough that I had to point out who was involved or it would just be another useless vague post. Everyone is racist to some degree or another because of the society we live in, and that's not an indictment of anyone's character, but if you are given an opportunity to change your views and behavior, and don't take it, that's something that shouldn't be overlooked.

The specifics of this instance aside, I want to talk about why this situation occurred in the first place.

The individual who kindly contacted me also pointed out how things become very siloed on Tumblr, since people often have to block others for their own sanity. I, for example, block many usernames and filter those usernames from tags and post content so that I don't see their posts when people I follow reblog from them.

Related to this, a couple months ago a friend of mine pointed out something I hadn't realized: in TCW fandom there's a small group of very aggressive, vocal antis who lumped in "problematic" shippers with racists, pedophiles, TERFs, etc. We were constantly bombarded with vague but abusive messages made up only of buzz words meant to evoke moral panic over fictional writing. The messages were so abusively vague and hurtful that it was a matter of protecting one's mental health to ignore them. I want to make it clear that calling out racism is not harassment nor being abusive. However when antis conflate legitimate criticisms of racism with shipping discourse it is very hard to separate out which were genuine call outs of racism and which were harassment under the guise of performative action. Antis do use racism as a buzz word in their harmful repertoire but not all racist call outs are anti behavior.

It's really unfortunate, too, because I and many people I know started out supporting the unwhitewashTBB movement and those heading it. Most of us have the same anti-racist goals in RL, after all—though I choose not to participate in activism on Tumblr because I personally think it's one of the worst places for it. But when I saw how hateful and cruel many of the people in that movement were to others (including BIPOC with differing opinions on fandom issues), I stopped reblogging their stuff and eventually unfollowed and blocked them. My opinions on racism and whitewashing haven't changed, but because of that movement's obsession with policing others' opinions on fandom matters, and viciously attacking anyone who disagrees on fandom matters, I stopped supporting them.

To be clear, this is not an excuse for my own ignorance of LLHB's behavior, but more an observation of how unproductive it is to try and lump fandom discourse together with RL issues like racism. While fandom racism and racist media is a big issue and people should be educated on it, the problem is people are unable to separate fandom discourse from it. This is the package deal of being in fandom but a clear separation of fiction and reality would minimize incidents like this.

In any case, all this has made me realize that interacting on Tumblr in anything more than a cursory, fandom-only way is a waste of time for me and only opens the door to cause harm. I'll also admit to being pretty damn salty that, while I stood up to the antis to take the heat off others and try to make people less fearful of openly shipping clone characters together, only one person could be bothered to tell me I was associating with someone who had said nasty things and point me in the direction of evidence.

I'm in fandom to escape from the trash fire that is real life, as are many of my friends—BIPOC, white, queer, neurodivergent, etc.—and I recognize that my ability to nope out of this situation is a privilege that many people don't have. But I'm not going to sacrifice my own mental health to be involved in a community that is toxic and harmful towards anyone who has differing opinions on fandom issues. It's not just racism anymore but rather anything that doesn't fit into some groups' ever shifting moral goalpost. I am not on Tumblr 24/7, and I don't feel that anyone should be held accountable for missing out on the avalanche of posts related to fandom discourse and drama. Personally, I don't have the spoons for any of that bullshit.

I still don't condone racism but from now on I'll be filtering anything relating to discourse, RL issues, antis, fandom police, etc. and will probably not read or respond to comments on or reblogs of this post.

[mother-atiny]

Not My Type | Choi San

Genre - Angst

Warnings - San is a bit of a jerk, may be triggering to some who have been through similar situations.

Word Count - 1k

Since middle school, you've liked San. You flirt with him but only hang out as friends. Your decision today was to finally share with him how you feel... again, after years of falling for him.

Laughing as you both sat on the couch, you said, "San, could I tell you something?".

"Not if it's about you liking me," He said with a smile, although he sounded rude.

"Well, I have nothing to say then," you pouted.

San sighed loudly and set his drink down on the table, "Y/n stop asking, it's never going to happen".

Although the words he said hurt you, you pretended you were fine, and you guys continued watching your movie.

~2 years later~

You have chased after San repeatedly, although he rejected you because he kept sending you mixed emotions.

One day he would be really clingy and lovely and the next day he would be totally rude and standoffish.

But today you two went to a party with him at your friend's house. What was going to happen that night changed your relationship forever?

"Come on Y/n!" He yelled, pulling you with him through the house. He was holding your hand and you couldn't help but feel butterflies when your fingers touched.

"San, I only came for the food!" You whined.

"Sweetie~", He whined.

San held onto your hand tightly now, begging you to follow him. But you couldn't. It hurt so much for him to treat you one way but to think of the total opposite.

"Don't call me that," you snapped.

San let go of your hand and looked at you, shocked.

Typically, you weren't so rude to him, but you were tired of these games.

"Y/n what is your deal?" San asked quietly.

He looked around to make sure he wasn't making a scene.

"San, you can't go holding my hand and making me feel like you like me when you don't... it hurts me," you whispered.

San rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. "Y/n this again?!" He yelled. Everyone looked in your direction, "Y/n it's never going to happen! Okay? You are not my type! And if we can't be friends just because you can't help but like me... then I guess we can't be friends anymore.," his words were harsh, and they stabbed you like a sword.

"Fine, ", was all you said before you turned around and walked out of the house.

San didn't call for you to stop, instead he just rolled his eyes and walked to the dance floor. A girl got close to him and wrapped her arms around his neck. San had driven you to the party, so you had to walk home... alone. A part of you missed San, but another part hated him. He had humiliated you in front of kids from your school.

Although you knew everyone wouldn't give a crap about you, they still knew who San was and they were going to be talking about that girl who wouldn't stop chasing him. You felt stupid for trying so hard, for trying to be more than friends...

You got home and went straight to your room. Luckily, your parents weren't home to see you cry...

~4 months later~

You and San haven't even talked to each other for a long time now. You blocked him on all your social media, text messaging, and phone calls. You figured he'd done the same, but you were wrong. In reality, he was a wreck. He had tried calling you after the party, but you never answered. He tried talking to you at school but you always ignored him... He had finally realized what a huge mistake he had made...

"Woo, I don't know what to do... I really miss Y/N, I was thinking right that night at the party," San said with his head in his hands.

Wooyoung scoffed, "Dude, even I thought you were being a dick. Who the hell tells their best friend in front of the whole school that she's not his type?" Wooyoung flicked his forehead. "You are a dumbass sometimes."

"I think I like her... more than a friend.,"

Wooyoung choked on his drink, "What? Dude, you ruined that months ago. Move on, you're probably not her type anymore.," He laughed at his joke. San glared at him and stood up. "I'm going to tell y/n that I like her... maybe it will fix our friendship.," He smiled hopefully as Wooyoung shook his head.

San walked down the corridor looking for you. Once he saw you, he stopped and looked at the scene before him. You were standing at your locker, but something about you was different. Maybe you changed your hair, maybe you had lost weight (Yass by dropping sans ass), but something about you seemed unreal, so beautiful.

"Hey Y/N!".

San ran to you.

As soon as you saw him, you walked away faster, but he grabbed your arm and you felt the butterflies from before.

"Yes, San," you snapped, ripping your arm from his grip.

"Y/n I like you... I didn't know it before, but I can't live without you," San said, seeming really genuine.

"San," you paused and looked at his hopeful face, "You're going to have to learn to live without me. " You spoke coldly, and he looked crushed.

"But Y/n, we are friends" He cried. He grabbed your hand again.

You pulled it away, "San, things will never be the same... but I'm willing to give you another chance to prove yourself.," You sighed.

San gasped. He jumped towards you and hugged you.

"Y/n I love you. " He kissed your cheek. He looked back at you, who looked disgusted.

"Let's not do that. " You pushed him away from you slightly.

He jumped back and nodded his head, "Y/n I have to go! Promise me you'll meet me after school?" He begged.

You rolled your eyes, "Fine".

"But we are not dating! got it?" You snapped, pointing your finger at him.

He nodded his head and ran down the hall. He jumped up as he ran and he was laughing and a part of you felt happy... You knew he was happy, that's for sure.

Oh, how would you tell him you were already seeing someone....

[vaveyard]

I'm the anon from Portugal who asked if americans really ask each other "what are you". I did not think my question would cause so many problems, so I wanted to explain. I saw many people tell you about other websites and in fact that day I was directed (?) to your blog from another site where we discuss authors behaving badly. We were talking about how some authors use their ancestry as a "pass" for bad representation and spreading stereotypes, someone mentioned you and posted screen shots of your tiktoks and comments where you say you're Italian even though you're not, so I got curious and checked your blog and after reading some posts (which were already asking you about your nationality) I asked a question. Just that one. You can blame it all on me I just think it's a strange thing to do.

People told me to check your blog in the past days as well because of the various questions you received and how your fans reacted all blaming me but I was too busy. Now I've got some time and I wanted to clear things.

This whole situation looks very silly to me but some fans have found some portuguese book blogs and were very nasty in the comment sections and have accuses the bloggers of harassment because they think they're me. This whole situation started because I sent 1 anonymous question. I don't think I was aggressive, I was just confused and curious in my question. In your answers to those anons there is also people accusing them of "being caught lying" (idk if it's the right terms, I can't remember) because they're secretly all... me? Or how you said "shooting off a bunch of anons at once it's stupid" when you answered my question. I don't understand.

Anyway the whole thing is making me feel very bad and guilty so I'm trying to understand what to do because other people are being harassed because of me and I don't understand why

I can message you directly (so without anon) if it makes you feel better, so you can see my blog name and block me? That way you will know that next time it's not me sending questions. Knowing your fans I am too afraid to send this ask off anon now, but in DM I can share my blog name.

I have only ever sent you 1 question. This is my second one ever. And other book bloggers have nothing to do with it.

Sorry if parts of this are not very understandable I'm just a bit agitated by the whole situation and not making much sense, english isn't my language so it's extra difficult to explain

Please remember that as a public figure you have power over readers and what you say against someone can have a bad affect on many people

I'll repost the answer I gave you on your previous DM, in which you did say I was "lying about my nationality" and "pretending to be European." There was also something about Americans pretending "Murica" is the best country on earth but then saying they're from somewhere else. I don't know what your intention was in couching your question that way, or what tone you wanted to impart, but it certainly didn't come off as pure confusion or curiosity.

My response to your ask: "Hon, I think the disconnect here is the way white Americans talk about heritage. I’m a white American, that’s obvious, no one is asking me whether or not I’m white. They’re asking about my background. We’ve gone over this."

I then said: "Why keep asking the same questions if you’re going to keep ignoring my answers? And again, shooting off a bunch of anons at once is pretty silly."

I received several messages (with varying degrees of rudeness) about my background as well as a message saying I was going to look like a fat cow on my wedding day all at the same time. Your was in the middle of that grouping. So you can understand why it seemed to all be coming from the same or an organized source? And, this is the internet. I'm responding to anonymous comments. I truly have no way of knowing where things are coming from for sure, or if anyone is who they claim to be. I have to use simple logic here.

I really don't know whats going on outside whatever notifications I get on my own tumblr, so I can't speak to what's happening on other blogs in other languages. No one has ever linked me to anything or given me a website to check. I certainly don't want anyone bothering anyone else on my behalf. I've said that in the past and that's also just...obvious. I also don't think I have very vocal fans, in my experience, but that's just my perception.

In regards to Tumblr specifically, I don't think someone else's reblog or reply to an anonymous message I received and answered is fair to ascribe to me. The only way I can respond to an anon is to post it publicly. So unfortunately, that makes it fair game for other Tumblr users by nature of the message? I can't change the structure of Tumblr. And I can't control how someone else on Tumblr responds to my anons. I can only control how I respond. The only other option I see to stop "accusers" responding to what my anons send is for me to not respond to anons entirely. And I don't think that's fair either. I really don't know what is desired of me here.

I do agree, the situation is very silly. And I also agree, what I say can have an effect on others. I do ask that people on the other side of the inbox remember that too. The messages sent to creators, anonymous or otherwise, are not without weight either.