#And if she really is retiring after this tourney

[gallusrostromegalus]

Concerning the "in front of 200 witnesses" part of the Kenpachi Succession, does that mean that if too many people die they have to postpone it until they can get more people who want the job, or do they specifically collect 200 people who won't be participating in that tourney to watch?

In AEIWAM, the current rules for the 11th Division Captaincy are:

THE 11TH DIVISION RULE: To become captain of the 11th Division, you must defeat the current 11th Division Captain

This was the first and only rule Yachiru Unohana made regarding succession of the Captaincy of the 11th division. This Means:

The 11th Division does not accept appointed captains- either by the usual process, a nominee of the central 46, or some noble house- and if you try to become captain without defeating the previous one (or now, adhering to The Amendments), the members of the 11th WILL kill you for trying.

The right to challenge the captain is available to anyone that is not expressly an enemy of the court guard. For example: No Sternritter could take over the 11th by killing Zaraki Kenpachi, because they are declared enemies. A Very Large Lizard could eat him and become captain though, because Soul Society is not currently at war with Very Large Lizards.

People with the express right to challenge for the right of captaincy includes but not limited to: Current Shinigami, Retired Shinigami, Students of Shinigami Academy, Various Animals, Peasants, Kami, Theoretically a Hollow if they weren't in jail for eating people somehow?, politicians if they CAN use a sword right, Mothman...

While this rule does generally keep with Unohana's intent that the 11th only ever be commanded by someone who understood what battle was all about and would walk with their troops, it did also lead to kind of a lot of backstabbing and murder and general disarray as people constantly jockeyed for the position. Since then, Yamamoto has had to make a few Addendums in order to, you know, keep the 11th actually running:

Amendment 1: The 11th Division Rule applies ONLY to the 11th Division. You must follow the normal means of becoming a captain (passing the captain's exam with 3 other captains as witnesses, or getting the vote of confidence of other captains in a vote.) to become captain of any other division.

This a notable rule because literally the week after Unohana established the rule, some moron tried to claim that he should be allowed to command the 3rd, because he'd killed the 3rd division captain* in a bar fight. The moron was summarily incinerated on the spot, but Yamamoto decided to make sure to put it in writing, so he would not have to deal with That Stupidity again.

*allegedly. Kinroku was a slippery little fuck ans Yamamoto was never 100% certain if the mangled human remains wearing Kinroku's glasses really were him or if he had done a runner to enjoy his retirement in peace.

Yamamoto would instead be forced to deal with other, much worse stupidity.

Unohana Kenpachi held her position as the Captain of the 11th Division for well over a century after she established that sucession rule, until an Unwitnessed fight in the North 80th or "Zaraki" District inured her already-compromised left lung to the point that it needed to be removed. She was defeated in battle (by point of surrender) by her first lieutenant the day after she got out of the hospital, much to her satisfaction.

Trouble was, Captain Kuzuri Kenpachi was then BESET with constant challenges to her authority, assassination attempts and so much resistance she could hardly get the Division in line long enough to do it's job, and the fatalities from Kuzuri defending her life and job were starting to add up, so Yamamoto instituted the second addendums to the rules:

Amendment Two: Conditions Of Functionality

2.1: You must duel The Current Captain Of the 11th Division, in a one-on-one duel, after expressly challenging them for the right to be Captain.

This Means NO:

Ganging up on the captain (this is to prove your individual worthiness, not your choreography skills)

Assassinations (go apply yourself over at the 2nd division),

No randomly killing your boss, and declaring it a challenge to get out of murder charges after the fact.

2.2: This Duel must be witnessed by at least 200 people who do not have political, financial or other motivation to lie about the events later.

Yamamoto needs to be DAMN SURE you actually followed the above rules.

2.2.1: At least two of those witnesses need to be 10th seat or higher officers from two different divisions from both each other and the division the challenger might belong to.

-And that some rich asshole didn't just pay 200 people to say that's what happened.

If you're going to do a political conspiracy, put some EFFORT in.

2.3: Defeat can be defined before combat if both participants agree to the terms. For instance, they can decide to end combat when one participant: Starts bleeding, leaves an agreed-upon arena, stays down for a 10 count, is rendered unconscious, or surrenders. If no terms are negotiated, the duel is to be to the death, even if one participant is unable to fight.

Kuzuri please, the body count is starting to interfere with recruitment.

After that, since the challengers had to actually try to fight Kuzuri fairly, the frequency of attempts went down to a manageable level, and the quality of challengers steadily improved until she was defeated on the terms of a ten-count 78 years into her captaincy by another Shinigami, who became the third captain of the Division, Mizutsuga Kenpachi.

Mizutsuga lead the 11th Division for 98 years before suddenly dying in a bizarre case of Cicutoxin Poisoning from eating Water Hemlock, misidentified as the Division's perfectly edible flower, Yarrow. Then followed a bit of a struggle- Nobody was quite sure HOW to appoint the next captain, and there were not a lot of people eager to take the job. So Yamamoto was forced to create:

Amendment Three: In Case Of No Succession:

3.1 If The Current Captain is not available to answer challenges due to being already dead, in jail, a coward, turned into a rat, lost in another dimension, or whatever, they are assumed to have surrendered the post. 3.2 Yamamoto will dictate A) If the current captain of the is in fact, not available and not just locked in a closet or otherwise being prevented from accepting the challenge by subterfuge. B) The terms of the battle that will be held to determine the next captain. 3.3 Please do not make him do this, he WILL be a Petty Asshole about it.

Frustrated that he'd had to micro-managed the 11th division's sucession twice now, Yamamoto ordered a Battle Royale and the last one still in the fight would be the new captain, leading to the appointment of Kiiro Kenpachi.

It turned out that the Battle Royale had not been Yamamoto's best plan, because Kiiro was less the Soul Society's strongest Swordsman and more Soul Society's most evasive little coward, who had simply remained hidden until all but the last few comppettitors were left, and exhausted. He governed the 11th division in much the same way, by managing to avoid doing his work, any responsibility and any challenge to his paycheck by Simply Not Being There, which is a great way to survive a war and a terrible way to run emergency services. after a mere 12 years of this malarkey, Yamamoto created:

Amendment Four: No Wiggling Out Of This One

4.1: For all 24 hours of November 11th every year, The Current Captain is REQUIRED to answer any challenge to their seat.

4.2: The rest of the year, the captain can choose to accept or turn a challenger down and tell them to get in line on Nov. 11th, or agree to answer the challenge at an agreed specified time and place. Like when they're not in the middle of an assignment.

Fearing for the safety of his life and his lucrative job, Kiiro arranged a tournament so that not only was HIS job up for grabs, so were the positions of all the seated officers, and the ensuing riot destroyed a large portion of the city and by the time the fires had been put out, it was November 12th, and Kiiro was still alive.

4.3: The Current Captain will make themselves available for challenge OUTSIDE the Seireitei in an area reasonably devoid of habitation but still accessible, with the presence of both:

the 4th division (to manage casualties)

another division (to keep the riot from spreading. We'll take turns doing this shit job.)

The New seated officers that had won their positions the previous year were also not fans of Kiiro, and traditionalists, and persuaded Yamamoto to add:

4.4: On November 11th, a ranking tournament will be held to determine the 200 strongest participants, who will then form that year's 11th Division.

Anyone not currently an enemy of the state is welcome to participate in the tournament

After they sign a wavier that we are not liable for damages done to them.

4.4.2 If any participant make it into the top 200, may immediately become shinigami and members of the 11th division without having to go through the Shigami academy

Studying is still recommended and free tuition will be offered

The top 20 ranked participants will become the new seated officer, with the top-ranked participant becoming the new captain.

4.4.3: FAILURE to participate in the tournament without sufficient excuse will result in immediate termination of your position and firing from the gotei-13.

The validity of any excuse will be determined by both presiding captains, who must both agree that the excuse is valid.

The following year the noise and scent of blood from "Eleventh Division Tryout Day" attracted the attention of an exceptionally large and powerful Tree Goana, who immediately devoured Kiiro Kenpachi, and, with nobody else wishing to become reptile snacks, became Tokagero Kenpachi, who served for 234 years before her disappearance, the longest term of any 11th Division Captain.

Yamamoto has not needed to manage the succession of 11th Division Captains since then, save to crack an eye open after the arrest and imprisonment of the 8th captain of the 11th, Azashiro Kenpachi, when his lieutenant proposed holding that year's tryout day a few weeks early instead, and abiding by those results until at least the following year, and nodding in agreement. Now THAT is how you manage.

So to actually answer your question: the 200 witnesses thing was ORIGINALLY to make sure that the rules of succession were being followed, but it has since morphed into a "Make sure there are 200 people alive to actually BE the 11th Division" thing, a "Contain the Riot" thing AND a "Unohana likes checking in on her old division and watching the carnage" thing.

[sourcherryandsprinkles]

HOUSE OF THE DRAGON / GAME OF THRONES CHARACTERS MASTERPOST

*= smut

DAEMON TARGARYEN

Baby-making duty *

You and Daemon try to conceive a baby, but your body is not cooperating...so Daemon keeps trying and doesn't care who hears

His wife’s bed *

Daemon takes pleasure fucking his mistress in his wife's bed

Illicit affair *

You get marries to another lord, but you and Daemon see each other in secret

A Song of heart and blood (multi-part) *

After an horrible prophetical dream, you find yourself traveling through time to try and save your sister, Daenerys, from her fatal ascension to the Iron Throne. During your mission, your heart derives you from your duty and you fall in love with your ancestor

Taking care of my dragon

After getting his pride hurt at the tourney, Daemon needs help to calm down and unwind

Warrior woman Velaryon!Reader

You accompany your father and brother to fight the war in the Stepstones. Daemon falls in love with you and your attitude

AEMOND TARGARYEN

Alone in our bed

The queen sent Aemond on a mission so you have no other choice but to pleasure yourself

Baratheon sisters *

Aemond needs to pick one of Lord Borros' daughters to marry

Bedding ceremony Baratheon!Reader

The Westerosi tradition include a bedding ceremony. You are not comfortable with this

Bigger than the whole sky

TW: Miscarriage (inspired by Bigger than the whole sky by Taylor Swift)

Brothel visit

Aegon takes his brother to a brothel

But Father I love him Daemon daughter!Reader

Your father hates the man that you love...so you sneak out to see him

Dirty letters *

You surprise Aemond in your chamber when you visit King's Landing

Don't look at my eye

You take care of Aemond

False god *

Jealous!Aemond and his wife retire from the festivities for some alone time

Guilt | brother worker!reader

Emotional Aemond at the brothel

Smallfolk lover

When the smallfolk riots in the city, Aemond come to get you to live at the Keep with him

Summer swim

You take Aemond skinny dipping on a hot summer day

Naughty dreams | Jacaerys twin!Reader *

Aemond wants his niece to sit on his face

Midnight rain

AEGON II TARGARYEN

Bathing

Aegon asks his wife to join him in his bath

Breaking fast *

Aegon wakes you with his mouth

Corruption * Velaryon!Reader

Aegon corrupt his nice during her visit in the capital

A Dragon's fury

The Blacks kidnaps Aegon's wife

Grief

You comfort a crying Aegon following the murder of his son

Heir to the throne *

You and Aegon makes an heir on the Iron Throne

Inappropriate touches

Your husband, Aegon, likes to touch you inappropriately during public appearances

Jealousy, jealousy

Aegon finds his sister at the brothel with another man

Mine modern AU

Daeron flirts with his brother's girlfriend. Aegon gets jealous

The Secret of Rook's Rest

Aegon tells you what really happened at Rook's Rest

My sweet prince *

Aegon has a secret girlfriend in Fleabottom

Take me to bed, husband * Velaryon!Reader

On your wedding day, you and Aegon sneak out of the feast to consummate your marriage

Was it worth the price? sister!Reader

You confront Aemond after Rook's Rest. Aegon sense your distress and safe you from his brother

JACAERYS VELARYON

Battle of the Gullet

You save Jacaerys during the Battle of the Gullet

Croissants s'il-vous-plait Modern AU

You accept to tutor hockey player Jace in french

Drunk confessions modern college AU

Jacaerys takes his drunk best friend home after a party. She confesses things she would never say sober

Dragonseed

You get sent on a mission on Silverwing and Jacaerys is worried about you, so he decides to search for you...in the middle of the night. Feelings come out.

Falling for winter Cregan Stark sister!Reader

When Jacaerys was sent to the North to ask Cregan Stark for his support for his mother's claim and ends up falling for Lord Stark’s sister.

Father

You and Jacaerys talk about fathers

He loves her...he loves us

Jacaerys had feelings for Baela, but he is faithful to you. All changes when he learns he is going to be a father

Home Alicent daughter!Reader

Jacaerys doesn't feel at home in King's Landing...so he's going back to Dragonstone

I can't breathe without him

Jacaerys has difficulty dealing with the loss of his brother

I think there's been a glitch Hockey player!Jacaerys *

Being friends with benefits with college hockey player Jacaerys

Kiss from the North *

Jacaerys returns from Winterfell with some new knowledge

Goodbye goodbye

Preparing for Lucerys' funerals

Lucerys

Jacaerys returned from Winterfell with bad news waiting at home

My sister's bastard

When you get pregnant, Jacaerys offers to pretend the baby is his to keep you both safe

Sword training

Jacaerys teaching his wife how to fight

CREGAN STARK

Bath for two? *

Cregan joins you in the bath

Burn them all

Cregan recieves the news of your mother, Rheanys, passing during the battle at Rook's Rest. You want revenge

Protector

After getting captured by Sylas the Grim, trauma ensue

Take me as you please *

Cregan has been spending all his time in his study and is getting moody. His wife knows how to calm his mood

Yours to take *

After Aegon is crowned, you no longer plan to marry Aemond. You find yourself in the arms of Cregan Stark

JON SNOW

I’ll keep your bed warm

Need a hand?

What happens in the cave, stays in the cave |  Jeor Mormont daughter!Reader *

[hannahhook7744]

got any Auradon prep hc ?

This is a mix of canon info and headcanons on Auradon Prep I have;

Headcanons:

You know Askauradonprep? Well, there actually is a couple of social media accounts run by someone who goes by that name and goes to Auradon Prep. No one knows who they are. They answer all sorts of questions regarding Auradon Prep, its various students and staff, its urban legends, and on a good day, just random questions.

They stop doing plays about the RECENT past (i.e no more plays about Maleficent and Snow White) and start doing plays on various books, urban legends, and other things instead.

They have a lot more clubs than mentioned in canon and Doug is in a surprising amount of them. No one knows how he has the time.

FG eventually retires/takes short of a break so she can learn more about teenagers/human children in general.

Mr. Deley, after getting thoroughly chewed out by Coach Jenkins and Fairy Godmother when they get word of him threatening to expel Evie over a first time offense, apologizes and educates himself on isle culture.

The History of Woodsmen and Pirates class was inaccurate until ACTUAL pirate children started attending Auradon Prep. There was then a complete overhaul of the class.

They have a good school counselor.

Canon:

The school colors are blue and gold.

Their Mascot appears to be a knight and horse duo. 

There is a statue of Beast outside. 

The school is quite big and the food they serve isn’t typical public school food.

You aren’t really supposed to go into the kitchen (especially after curfew) but most of the staff tend to turn a blind eye as long as too much food isn’t missing and as long as the kitchen is back to the state it was when the kitchen staff left it by the time a student leaves.

Auradon Prep in canon, has an ‘Auradon Prep Spirit Book: Highlights and Memories’ book and has yearbooks and an Insider’s Handbook. As well as ‘The Villains Kids’ Guide’ for the newer vks (none of these seem to be proofread by the staff, btw).

Judging by the class schedule found in ‘Secrets of Auradon Prep: an Insider’s Handbook’, classes are held from 8:00 AM to 3:00 PM (or 15:00 for non Americans). 

Based on the same schedule, All students have a homeroom as well as 8 total classes, 1 free block, and daily lunch that they alternate between during the week. All cut up to be hourly.

They also have an annual events calendar/roster that everyone seems to have access to. On this calendar/roster, there are activities such as: Auditions for School Play, Unification Day Holiday, Spirit Day, Family Day, School Closed for Fairy Convention, Heroes and Heroines Festival, Annual Knights Ball, Annual Singing Competition, King Beast Honorary Holiday, Archery Finals, Tourney Final, Science Fair, Hip Hop Dance Contest, and Coronation.

Since Lonnie was able to sneak cameras in without anyone noticing and all the kids are all to sneak out without being noticed, security is either very bad, very limited, or non-existent. 

They do the ‘A-F’ Grading system. 

The sports they have are but not limited to: Archery, Tourney, and Swords & Shields/R.O.A.R. They likely have other sports/clubs as well.

------------------------------------------------------------

If anyone is interested in more canon info about the school, lmk and I'll see what I can find in the yearbook, spirit book, Audrey's Diary, insider's hand guide, and Vk Guide.

If anyone wants to add to the canon info, feel free to!

[hestusjamsession]

I’ve been depressed so I decided to do what normal people do when they’re depressed and make a list of my favorite Legend of Zelda fanfics thus far. I think I’ll make a Linked Universe one next.

Almost all of these fics are finished and most are multi chapter. Some are quite long too. I also tried to include a variety of ships and stuff. I’m a multi-opportunity shipper, what can I say?

I know a few of the authors are here on Tumblr but I can’t for the life of me find them. So if anyone knows the usernames of the authors so I can tag them I’d appreciate it.

Anyway…

*cracks knuckles*

1. Make a Wish, Make it Count by LiliansMalice

Three very different people get forced to work together to find a powerful relic that can grant them wishes and solve their (admittedly pretty bad) problems.

It’s got angst, it’s got humor, it’s got found family vibes. And demons. Lots and lots of demons. Such a good read y’all need to check it out. Also, if anyone knows of any more fics like this let me know!

2. Honor Among Thieves by DawnTheRithmatist

The Master Sword has been stolen and as things start to go missing around the castle Zelda decides to do some digging which ends up with her becoming pen pals with a wanted thief.

Zelink fic which Link goes full rogue and koroks are eager accomplices.

3. Beating Around the Bush by Umbreonix

Revali retires from the air force and becomes a remote bush pilot. His life is all well and good (if boring) until a slightly feral researcher from the University of Central Hyrule derails his entire life.

This fic is genuinely hilarious and also heartwarming. Umbreonix writes Revali so well. Revlink fic with a modern spin. (Side note, the fic “Finding Link” by the same author is also really good)

4. Displaced by Socksock

What do you do once you’ve saved the day? Yeah, Link and Zelda don’t know either. But Link has monsters to kill and cool new outfits to find and Zelda has massive bridges to rebuild and loyal knights to smooch so they’ll be ok.

This was one of the first fics I read after beating BOTW. Novel length Zelink goodness with lots of humor and healing and Link dressing up like Tingle because he’s like that.

5. K.K. Love Song by Socksock

Anything by Socksock is gonna be great but this fic literally kept me sane while I was working on site during the Pandemic. Oklahoma be like that.

Modern Zelink fic where the hot new Shiekah Slate game Animal Crossing brings a Princess and a cook closer together. Link apparently does a good KK impression.

6. Nothing More, Nothing Less by Farbsturz

Ravio, Bearer of the Triforce of Wisdom, must head to Hyrule to help it’s Hero defeat the Calamity. Ravio, Bearer of the Triforce of Wisdom, is not sure about this.

Ravio plays Breath of the Wild. Or- the Ravlink fic you didn’t know you wanted.

7. The Queen’s Tournament by AshleysWrittenWords

In order to become Queen, Princess Zelda must marry. Zelda’s plan? Part 1: Host a tournament were the winner gets her hand in marriage. Part 2: Enter said tournament in disguise so she can, to quote Merida from Brave “shoot for her own hand”. And it all goes according to plan until Link decides to enter the tourney as well.

I THINK I might have read this, or something very similar, once upon a time on Fanfiction.net. Twilight Princess-ish Zelink.

8. Branded by Embyrinitalics

In a land haunted by war, two lonely people find solace within each other.

This one’s got a somber vibe to it, but it’s beautifully written and it hits me in the shipper feels so yeah.

9. The Wolf of Farore by Wayward_Chronicler

The Legend of Zelda meets The Witcher in a fic that is technically not finished but has 71 chapters and more character cameos than you can swing a sword at.

Long fic fam this one’s for you. 😘

10. Interim by Starkraving

Link and Zelda have just defeated the Calamity and are wandering Hyrule when they meet a strangely familiar Gerudo who wants to buy Link’s giant horse and has no idea what he’s about to get roped into.

The Link/Zelda/Gan fic filled with angst, humor and lots of Gerudo grammar lessons.

This was the other fic I read right after beating BOTW. Fair warning- its rated E so it’s got spicy parts to it. But if you don’t mind that it’s a fantastic read.

11. Re-Domestication by AnthemXIX

The description says it best: ��A semi-feral amnesiac and his wolf guardian try to get along with the locals.”

A really good BOTW Link and Wolf Link fic that isn’t Linked Universe related (Though the author has written several really good LU fics as well). It’s part of a series and they’re all really good.

12. Secrets of the Shadows by @skyloftian-nutcase

When Link goes missing, Rusl finds a wolf instead of his adopted son and ends up making a terrible mistake. Hopefully he can make it to Kakariko in time to rectify it.

Papa Rusl angst because it’s good for the soul.

[gxldencity]

❗ for dolores and august!

❗- What are the highest priorities to this oc (at a point in their life of your choosing)?

Dolores - a little peek into her situation in veilguard ig so so aside from all the stuff that's related to the shadow dragons and well...solas, dolores's highest priority is finding domenico, her little brother. idk how he went missing yet besides that i want Lucanis to be involved in that incident somehow (maybe even the reason why domenico went missing) and am gonna try to connect it into the reason why Dolores joined the shadow dragons.

But :) before that, her highest priority was ensuring that domenico gets the best education he could as a somniari. A bunch of dreamers just started popping out of nowhere after the Breach. Domenico was, unfortunately one of them. He was 12, Dolores was 17 and it did become a problem for the (former) Antivan Circle of Magi Isolationists commune they had in the woods. Both of them were kicked out and rather than dying in the woods or being kidnapped by the Crows, Dolores trusted this random man (Feynriel) in her dreams and booked it out of Antiva City to the nearest boat to Minrathous.

Once she got to Minrathous, she met up with Feynriel who introduced them to the new cohort of somniaris. A few of them were mages like Domenico and Dolores but some had never exhibited any magic before. From then on, Dolores supported her brother in any way she could and making sure he was apprenticed to the right enchanter after passing his Harrowing. (She never did hers and didn't do the Tevinter equivalent of it). She worked at a bunch of odd jobs to fund her brother's expenses before settling to work at a tea and book shop as an assistant to the owner.

The other semi high priority for Dolores that's tangentially related is to hide her (and Domenico's) elven heritage from all those high ranking Altus that would be training Domenico. They mostly pass as human without the elf ears so Dolores keeps her hair long and thick to hide the small little points in her ears. She also changed her last name to whatever the Shadow Dragons last name is and adapted a Tevene accent to sound less Antivan (which was helpful after a certain Antivan Crow killed 40 magisters at a party and the Magisterium ordered a Search for any information on the assassin)

August - Before the Mourn Watch and before his family, Augustine's highest priority was glory and adventure. His parents didn't come from money. They were simple tailors from Cumberland and expected August to inherit the business. August was always fascinated about the heroes of old—of the famed Pentaghast dragon slayers, of Garahel and the Wardens and of course, Ser Aveline.

So every coin he earned from the tailoring business, August put it towards funds in finding a master who could train him. Preferably Orlesian since he wanted to be a Chevalier like Ser Aveline was.

Anyway, after 10 long years of saving up coin, August finally found one in Ser Théo de Lydes, a retired Orlesian chevalier who moved to Cumberland. Claims to have Pentaghast ancestry (but so does everyone in Nevarra). Augustine went to his house every morning to try to persuade the old man to train him until Théo agreed. Basically, the old man spent years training Augustine to be a knight :), until he was fit to compete in the Grand Tourney. He did really well for his first showing btw!

[suitcasetales]

My Kind of a Business Trip

720

That’s how many days from now I will qualify for Medicare. When your job is stressful and lonely like mine, you think about things like that. I also think that I really don’t want to work 720 more days. (Heck, I don’t even want to work 20 more days!) I daydream about the freedoms retirement will bring…freedoms like saying yes to a friend when she invites us to accompany her on a business trip.

So, here we were in Greenville, South Carolina, earlier this week, thanks to our friend Wendy attending a business conference there. She wanted to take her dog Bailey and had already reserved dog-friendly accommodations. Janet, Cokie and I were along for the ride, watching, exercising and entertaining Bailey (and ourselves) while Wendy worked.

If you drive Interstate 85, Greenville is between “the big peach” (Gaffney, South Carolina’s iconic water tower) and Atlanta. I have read bits and pieces about it over the years, especially in regards to it being a good destination for outdoors adventures so we looked forward to exploring it. Like Richmond, a river runs through it, too, the Reedy River.

Greenville has also become a popular host city for women’s and men’s basketball tournaments and I can certainly see why. Janet and I have been to 19 Women’s Final Fours, and several regional and conference tournaments so we know a good tourney town when we see one. This is definitely a good tourney town. A mile-long Main Street is chock full of hotels and restaurants and gets bonus points for a large independent bookstore and a branch of the Mast General Store. In fact, we arrived Sunday afternoon around half-time of the SEC women’s basketball championship game in the 15,000-seat arena, also downtown. It was fun seeing fans in the restaurants and along the sidewalks after South Carolina had been crowned champions and brought back a lot of memories.

After the 6-hour drive, unpacking and getting settled in the hotel Sunday, we were all in need of some exercise. Bailey is always up for a walk but as most of you know, Cokie is not. But sometimes, in a brand new situation, we can cajole her in to doing something, probably because she’s too scared to not go with us. Sunday may have been the greatest accomplishment yet because the five of us walked about a mile down a busy sidewalk to the “Falls Park on the Reedy.” There was traffic, there was loud music, there were other dogs, there were kids, there were strollers and there were people wanting to say hello. And besides her and Janet’s feet getting tangled up, causing Janet to fall hard in the middle of an intersection (bruises and abrasions but luckily no broken bones or re-injury to her surgically repaired shoulder), it was an extremely successful outing. She’ll never do it again, but hey, she did it once!

Monday morning, with Wendy off to her convention, we drove the dogs to McPherson Park. As the oldest park in Greenville, and listed on the National Register of Historic Place, I had envisioned a sprawling Forest Hill-ish Park [in Richmond)] but alas, it was a small park and we barely were able to get Cokie around it at all. We returned to the hotel, got the dogs settled and went off to hike part of the Swamp Rabbit Trail.

The paved Trail is mostly along a former railroad bed on which a train nicknamed “the swamp rabbit” traveled. The train was named after a native critter, the swamp rabbit. It is 22 miles in length and runs through the city and out to a town called Travelers Rest. To access it from our hotel, we walked a mile down Main Street and then picked it up at The Falls. We walked northwest until arriving at a brand new city park named Unity Park. This park has a lot of cool features but none better than the tribute wall. Small steps but important steps.

Janet and I returned to town and had lunch on the terrace of Passerelle Bistro, overlooking the falls. The Garden Club and the City have done a lovely job with the landscaping in that highly visited area. Historically, there were a lot of mills along the Reedy River and remnants of those are seen along the river bank, from brick walls to renovated buildings now used for event spaces.

After lunch, we walked through the lobby of the Grand Bohemian Lodge across the river. Built in the “parkitecture” style, the grand lobby was even more impressive than the exterior — 4-sided fireplace, beautiful artwork with natural, regional and Native American influences, comfy chairs, shelves full of books, lots of framed arrowheads, etc. I imagine it’s expensive stay there but if you want to treat yourself or your sweetie, go for it!

The rest of the day was leisurely, certainly what I needed. And it sure didn’t hurt that it was warm and sunny. Janet’s knee was sore and swollen from her fall on Sunday so she iced it while we sat outside and read.

For dinner Monday night, we walked back down the falls area and ate at “Pomegranate on Main.” A Persian restaurant, the food was delicious. We shared three appetizers and enjoyed entrees of shrimp kabobs, lamb and vegetarian stew. Yum, yum, yum.

Tuesday’s weather was even better so we took the dogs to Paris Mountain State Park. It was only seven miles from our hotel — definitely one of the factors in Greenville being a good outdoors destination. Janet studied the trail map and identified a moderate trail that we could hop onto directly from a parking lot, a major requisite for hiking with Cokie. Although only 2.3 miles, it was a good cardiac workout and without much shade (but fresh water for the dogs in several places), it was enough for Cokie. We moved the truck closer to the visitor center, one of a number of buildings in the park built by the CCC in the 1930’s. Janet, Bailey and I walked the mile-long loop around the swimming lake before enjoying the picnic lunch we had brought along.

Tuesday night, we tagged along with Wendy to a convention event. The local hosts had advertised regional southern cuisine and a concert by Greenville’s most famous musician. We expected barbecue but surprisingly, there was none. Boiled peanuts, a Southern tradition that I have never embraced, was the appetizer; needless to say, we all passed on it. There were 4 different food tables — shrimp & grits; fried chicken with mashed potatoes and broccolini; crab cakes, corn maque choux and green beans; and two varieties of mac & cheese, one with lobster. What’s not to like? On top of that, there were three desserts — one of which was especially enjoyed by one of us — so we did not go away hungry or dissatisfied.

And the musician? Edwin McCain. He had a Top 5 single in 1998 with his song “I’ll Be.” I did not know him by name but I did recognize the song when he performed it. He joked that he was one hit song away from being the best pizza delivery guy ever. I saw him leaving later driving a BMW so he must be doing alright.

Wendy scored us a 2:00 checkout on Wednesday, giving us plenty of time for another adventure with the dogs while the convention wrapped up. A seven mile drive in another direction took us to the Conestee Nature Preserve. We found a perfect parking spot by a trailhead and hopped on to a trail. Three-and-a-half miles later, Cokie the Brave had walked along a sidewalk, between empty baseball fields and past a children’s playground. The piece de resistance of this Preserve was the loop trail around West Bay where we walked along marshland, across many boardwalks and saw a lot of waterfowl and nests. I would love to visit it with a good pair of binoculars and some of my birding friends. [You know who you are!] It was a nice way to wrap up this mini-vacation.

We had one more thing we wanted to eat before leaving Greenville. One of the footbridges across the Reedy River is named the Eugenia Duke Bridge. It turns out that she is the woman who developed Duke’s Mayonnaise. The history board by the bridge told how she sold her recipe to C.F. Sauer here in Richmond; we knew Sauer owned it but we didn’t know the background story. On the way back from the State Park on Tuesday, we had passed by the “since 1917” Duke Sandwich Company. While Janet stayed with the dogs and finished up our packing, I went and picked up lunch. I had an egg-salad sandwich on toast and Janet had deluxe grilled pimento and bacon sandwich. And for one more treat before the six-hour drive north, I had some excellent banana pudding and I bought slices of chocolate cream pie for Janet and Wendy.

Returning to work on Thursday, it didn’t take five minutes for me to question why I continue to work and not find a way to retire early. But back to this trip and Wendy’s generosity in inviting us to tag along on her business trip, Greenville did not disappoint and I would go back anytime for more hiking and more eating.

Eat. Hike. Eat. Hike. A perfect business trip and definitely what the doctor ordered but what it really sounds like is the perfect retirement.

[undercityrezident]

My pleas were answered! Three episodes for the battle between Ash and Cynthia! Thank goodness, because if any match deserved three episodes, it was this one.

This is definitely a good thing, because if the pokemon had gone down any faster, I would’ve been a bit disappointed. And even at the end of the second episode, we have a fair bit of battle to go yet!

I have a question to ask before the actual reflection on the battle, namely why we’re getting all these random and seemingly pointless cutaways to Team Rocket... and in particular, Morpeko chowing down? If we’re not going to devote that screen time to the battle, I’d much rather more to see more cameos from Ash’s friends, or his pokemon back at the ranch more than seeing Morpeko stuffing their face. At least we got a quirky cut of Infernape nearly decking Professor Oak a few times when they saw Lucario using bullet punch. I’d love to see more of that sort of thing with Ash’s other mons emulating those they’re watching fight! At the very least, we got a bit more of Goh commentating on Ash. As a nice bonus, we even got an appearance of Cinderace to support their BF, Lucario, when they finally came out. I actually really do love those two and how supportive they are of each other, and I’m glad that was reflected in this battle.

But for the actual battle, we got to see Ash’s bite-y, mish-mashed fossil dragon put some good work in this battle. It is sometimes hard to take Dracovish seriously, but credit to them this time around as it really did get serious, taking on the poison from Roserade, in addition to the other pummelling offered by the grass-type as well as a quick exchange with Garchomp.

As a note, regarding Roserade, it’s great to see that Cynthia really does have a powerful grasp on how to use her pokemon in battle. And it’s not just in how she consistently swaps in and out, uses moves effectively and deceptively, and plays all sorts of mind-games with Ash, but also subverts our expectations with how we expected will-o-the-wisp’s burn effect to come in handy later.

Turns out Roserade’s ability, natural cure, nullified that inconvenience, putting another thorn in Ash’s side. It’s yet another way she knows how to use her pokemon to put Ash off-balance yet again, mentally and on the battlefield.

We do get a bit of an interesting moment with Ash letting Dracovish battle on, even though he intended to recall it. And to add to that, I really like how Cynthia acknowledged that action, and perhaps even admires it, while admitting that this is still an opportunity for her in the battle. She isn’t going to let Ash get away with it as we see in the following battle between Dracovish and Milotic (whose ability is marvel scale, based on that shimmer it had on its body once in a while? Nice little touch animators, if that was the intention).

I’m glad we got a bit of a callback to Cynthia’s previous battle with Iris in how she was planning to try and take out Dracovish in the same manner as she took out Iris’ Dragonite. Ash must’ve been watching pretty closely back then, as he wasn’t about to let Cynthia get away with that trick again unscathed. While it was surely the end of Dracovish, he didn’t go down without a fight, leaving Ash a chance to try and make up some ground. That goofy mismatched fossil definitely deserves a salute, because they definitely took this match seriously.

Then we get to Sirfetch’d, a contender who had a lot of ups and downs in this battle. We get a fierce reminder that Stealth Rock, set up by Garchomp earlier, is still a hazard for Ash.

Now, Ash is no stranger to eradicating these sorts of issues. Recall that Ash basically blew up the battlefield to destroy a set of toxic spikes Paul set up in their match in the Sinnoh League.

But the application of brutal swing in this match was a bit odd... at least in my opinion.

Hear me out: the idea behind stealth rock is that they’re all invisible, and thus, hard to get rid of in any way other than a massive area-of-effect move. I would’ve actually very much welcomed a callback to Ash’s maneuver with Infernape to upturn the field and fizzle out the toxic spikes. I can most certainly see Sirfetch’d doing something outrageous to propel itself high into the air, and then turning a Meteor Assault down to the earth itself to break the field and have the resulting sundered battlefield propel pieces of itself upwards en masse to eradicate all the stealth rocks and deal damage to Milotic to boot.

To me, that’s far more impressive and has much more precedent in the anime than throwing your shield out Captain America style to somehow knock out all the Stealth Rocks blind. I will admit transferring a move into the shield is an idea that I do like, and I hope it can be applied in another creative way in the future, but this one felt a bit... off. I think they were trying to emulate the concept of Rapid Spin clearing hazards, but it didn’t really resonate with me that much.

Ah... maybe I’m just biased to Ash blowing up the battlefield once in a while. And maybe because I loved the paralleled idea of him doing it to not just one Sinnoan opponent, but two.

But I had to admit, I had to stifle a laugh when Sirfetch’d did that cheeky little “assuming his default stance” pose after defeating Milotic. If nothing else, Ash’s pokemon have a lot of great character, and that’s why I can’t help but love them.

Then on top of that, we got treated to a pretty neat clash between Sirfetch’d and Garchomp. However, we’re quickly reminded why... Garchomp... is... fucking... terrifying.

Even with that little stagger Garchomp took after the clash between Draco Meteor and Meteor Assault (oh hey... dual meteor moves... nice...), it was pretty hardcore to see that, even knocked out, that damn “paragon of chivalry” that is Sirfetch’d managed to stay on their feet. I’m glad to see Ash’s mons are getting some good rep in the second half of this battle, even against the imposing mountain that is Cynthia and her powerful team.

Then we come to the setup for the conclusion to this trio of battle episodes. Lucario versus Togekiss. All battle, Ash has been dreading the arrival of Mega Garchomp, and even in the waiting room, they’re all quietly anticipating how Cynthia is going to mega evolution into play yet again.

But after some touch and go battling between the pair, Cynthia acknowledges Ash’s strength of will, and decides she needs to shock Ash yet again, another blow to his mental preparedness, by unveiling a dynamax band.

Admittedly, I did not see this coming, but it would make sense for Cynthia, a prolific and versatile champion, to master more than just one of the major pokemon enhancing trio of abilities. I can faintly imagine a z-ring hiding under that other sleeve too, perhaps.

Regardless, Ash now has to endure the wrath of Dynamax Togekiss, backed up by the ever powerful, ever vigilant Garchomp, with only his Lucario to withstand them.

I have to say, this battle has left me wanting more. Though I’m not absolutely frothing at the mouth for how amazing this battle is, I’m still generally impressed, barring a few “huh” moments. The character of Ash’s mons is shining through in this battle, but Cynthia is really putting the nails to him. I’m just hoping that, in the next episode, this battle comes to a satisfying conclusion.

We all can probably guess that Ash will win, given the hype train leading up to Ash versus Leon that’s been brewing all season, but I really want Cynthia to make him earn it in a way that does take me by surprise, as Ash usually does, but not in a way that leaves me saying “really?” like I did with that brutal swing shield maneuver.

Let’s see if we can stick the landing...

[winter-fox-queen]

Master List of My Writing

Just in case you’re like, “I want to read her silly stuff” I have decided to provide an easy place to find it.

Frankie Morales:

I Only Have Myself to Blame -- A fix-it-fic explaining that the bullshit coke wrap really was bullshit, and that our resident cinnamon roll is completely innocent.  :)  

We all Deserve a Fairy Tale -- a modern day piece of fluff that will hopefully cheer and entertain, Frankie meets a small press author and she falls for him.  Is this finally her chance get her happy ending?

Chapter one

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Writer Wednesdays:

No Cheap Thrill -- Jack Daniels/Agent Whiskey -- a thief is after a prize on a steam ship during a themed poker tourney, but will a certain Statesman agent get in her way?

Small Gambles -- Ezra from Prospect gets a new arm from a less than savory black market doctor, who ends up needing a little help of their own.

The Open Road is Full of Hope — Marcus Pike takes himself in a road trip to give himself some distance, he finds you along the way.

Albatross:  Frankie wanted to give you your dream vacation, but of course angst ensues because the money he wants to use for it is not exactly legal...

The Gentry’s Gifts — modern Pero, he dreams about your every night, but it will take magic…and a vampire…to get you together.

The Gentry‘s Gifts: Max Phillips — Max Phillips was not always an ass. He made some mistakes and took a wrong turn, but an offer from a retiring fairy godmother might give him the change to set things right.

Dragon’s Lair — Frankie meet cute, when he goes to an arcade.

Hope:

Hope is based off the Instyle video.  @hnt-escape and I worked together to create a series of stories...hers were poems, mine were prose.  

Arrival

Here’s Looking at You

Wait

Debts No Honest Man Can Pay

The Wheel

Final Bets

The Thief

Kisses Like Wine — An international thief makes off with your family’s greatest treasure. He dares you to come find him…and leads you on a dance that will change your life forever.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Oberyn Martell

A Rose for Dorne 1

A Rose for Dorne 2

The reader is a survivor of assault, and Oberyn and Ellaria take you under their wings, helping you heal. M/F, M/F/F glazed past smut (not much smut really, implied.) and very heavy issues.

Fire Meet Gasoline:

It’s Dangerous to Fall in Love

Ache for Love, Ache for Us

Certain With Desire

I got All I Need, When You Came After Me

And I Can Barely Breathe

But I Want What I Want

But it’s a Bad Bet, Certain Death

Only Smoke is Left

We Were Meant for Each Other

Javier Peña

Chivalry

[starksinthenorth]

Daella Targaryen Rewrite Ideas

I'm playing around with re-writing the Jaehaerys and Alysanne family ties because it annoys me so much. Current obsession is Daella and Viserra, but this post is focusing on Daella. Some ideas, which may not jive together well:

Daella and Vaegon are twins, which is why people assume he'd marry her over Maegelle, who was similarly close to his age. (Alternatively Baelon and Alyssa are twins or Alyssa and Maegelle. I definitely want a set of twins in this AU).

Like Vaegon, Daella actually really enjoys gaining knowledge. After the bee and cat incidents, she tells her parents that "libraries are safer than gardens." Unlike Vaegon, Daella can't read. She's not stupid and unable, but rather has several signs of dyslexia that they aren't able to recognize in Westeros. Instead, she learns by listening, especially at her mother's women's courts.

Daella marries Rodrik Arryn's second son, much to her father's chagrin. Jaehaerys was hoping to make a dynastic match and have the Arryns be blood relatives to the throne. But she was given a choice of a few lords and Rodrik's heir was already promised to a girl from the Vale. Her husband is actually a year or four younger than Daella, so they wait to get married. He's really into the Vale's courtesies and courtly traditions. While trained as a knight, she likes him for the same reasons she liked the Blackwood boy, except that her husband also follows the Faith.

Daella is a really good singer and especially likes the really long epic songs.

They have three children and she does not die giving birth. Her husband dies in a fight with the wild men of the Vale.

Daella's first son, Jasper, is a great knight who avenges his father and eventually joins the kingsguard when he's in his 20s. Her second son, Aenar, fosters on Driftmark and is a close companion to his cousin Laenor (aka they dated for a while). Eventually, Aenar is the knight of the gates of the Moon, but then becomes one of the regents for and advisor to his cousin/niece, Jeyne the Maiden of the Vale.

Her daughter, Aemma, does become queen of Westeros through a marriage to Viserys I. However, Aemma is not a child bride and the wedding is arranged during the Great Council of 101 to secure the competing claims to the Iron Throne and the vote of the Vale.

Both of Aemma's sons die during the once. Jasper, a kingsguard knight, will surprise the realm when he swears allegiance to Aegon II rather than his own niece. He dies defending Helaena from Blood and Cheese. Aenar will be on the black council and die fighting in some battle or another.

Daella dies before this happens, though. After Aemma's death, she retires to the Motherhouse of Maris in the Vale, leaving once a year to visit her granddaughter. She dies before Viserys and Alicent's anniversary tourney, probably in her 40s (I'm changing some of the birth dates of the Targaryen kids because I can).

[pricemarshfield]

captain

Written for Day 7 of @acocweek​; Romance + Saccharina. Read on AO3 here.

"I'll be sending Annabelle Cheddar as my diplomat for the discussion of how Candia's new borders affects the Dairy Islands," says Primsy Coldbottle in her letter. It's not a big deal, thankfully. The Dairy Islands hadn't really lost any land, or even much sea, after Liam's Wish. It mostly dug into Fructera, into Ceresia, even into the edges of Vegetania. Considerate, to leave the Meatlands and the Islands out of it.

But magic's always been a good thing, so Saccharina's not surprised.

"Cool that I get to see Annabelle again," says Ruby. "Did I ever tell you Jet had a crush on her? I mean, I'm pretty sure anyway."

"No," says Saccharina. "This is the Annabelle Cheddar who rejected her throne because she didn't want to get married, right?"

"Yeah! Don't talk to her about it, though. Jet brought it up during the tourney and Annabelle asked her not to again." Ruby's face twists a little, like it always does if they talk about Jet, and adds, "Guess she won't."

"Well," Saccharina says. "Thank you for telling me. You said Jet liked her?"

"She just really wanted to impress her," says Ruby. "I mean, I did, too, but Jet fully gave her Emperor Uvano's boon and told her she wouldn't marry anyone in front of everybody."

Saccharina laughs. As always, Jet sounds like someone she would've loved to meet, to know as a sister. It doesn't hurt in the same way everyone who knew her hurts, Saccharina knows that, more a dull ache than a stabbing pain, but it's still...rough, sometimes. "So. Anything else I need to avoid for Annabelle?"

"I'll be honest," Ruby says. "I don't think you can do worse than we all did already. Theo insulted her honor pretty badly. Liam propositioned her using his parents."

Saccharina snorts. "Sounds like him."

"He's a weird guy," says Ruby fondly. "But I think that's everything. Just don't be--you know. 'Candian'." She says that with exaggerated air quotes. "Apparently pissing contests aren't a literal thing in other places in Calorum."

"I know!" says Saccharina. "I grew up in the Dairy Islands, remember?" She can't quite make eye contact with Ruby when she says it, and it comes out a little higher-pitched than she meant it to, but Ruby doesn't push, and they get through it with neither of them crying or pulling weapons.

"There is one thing," Ruby says. "Um."

"Did she know about--Amethar and Caramelinda's wedding?" Saccharina asks. It's still a point of contention, even though it ended up not mattering too much, with Amethar as Emperor.

"No," Ruby adds, and Sacchrina breaths out a sigh of relief. "But she was as upset about Port Syrup as I was."

"I didn't--"

"I know," Ruby says. "And Cinnamon's different now, and you weren't there. But she probably doesn't know that."

"Great!" Saccharina says. "I've got a lot of experience with people I admired and wanted to meet hating me. It'll be fine."

"That's--wait, you admired Annabelle?" Ruby asks, skipping over the part Saccharina already regrets saying. "Why?"

"She didn't want to do what they wanted her to do!" Saccharina says brightly. "I heard about it when I was still captain on my first ship. Plus, her navy never bothered me."

"That's because you mostly raided Candia," Ruby points out, and Saccharina shrugs.

"I wish she'd have been queen instead," Saccharina says with a little sigh. Ruby narrows her eyes. "I love Primsy, but it would have been fun to have another ruler around my age, you know?"

"Not really," Ruby says, voice gone conspiratorial for some reason. "Why?"

"Just would be," Saccharina says. "Why's your face doing that?"

"Doing what?" Ruby asks, failing to hide her smile. "I'm just thinking about how much you're like Jet."

"Thanks?" Saccharina says, knowing that to Ruby, that's the highest of compliments. But it doesn't really fit the conversa--wait.

"I do not have a crush on Annabelle Cheddar."

"Are you sure?" Ruby says, and dodges when Saccharina sends a handful of harmless sparks her way. "I mean, you just seem like you'd like to have an excuse to see her. It's not like Liam's the only one of us who can have a political marriage."

"Liam liked Primsy and you know that," Saccharina says grumpily. "Also, I'm the Queen and I have a dragon. I don't need to marry for political reasons. And I wouldn't anyway! And neither would Annabelle, that's why I even heard of her!"

"Sure, sure," says Ruby. "Don't worry. I get it."

"I don't think you do!" Saccharina says, and even though she's annoyed, there's a little rush of warmth at the banter, at getting to be teased for something so simple. Especially since it's completely ridiculous.

---

Annabelle Cheddar is tall and handsome and Saccharina maybe gets where Jet was coming from, is the thing.

"Your Majesty," she says. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

"You as well," says Saccharina. "I've heard of your accomplishments from my sister. Thank you for helping my family after--well. After."

"Of course," Annabelle says with a little nod. "It was the right thing to do."

Saccharina's not sure if Annabelle means right morally or politically, but either way, she'll take it. "Still. Candia appreciates their allies in the Dairy Islands."

"Hopefully for these taxes," Annabelle says with a small grimace. "I have to say, this political stuff isn't exactly my forte."

"Aren't you a sailor?" Saccharina asks, lounging in the comfiest chair she's found so far in Castle Candy. Annabelle sits across from her, sword at her side, casual in a way Saccharina still can't quite manage, even with family around her.

"I was," Annabelle says, and there's open grief in the way her head ducks. "My ship, the Colby, sank after House Bleu attacked us to try and kill Primsy. I'm very glad your sisters were there to help us; we wouldn't have been able to save her or ourselves without them."

"I'm glad," Saccharina says, because she'd never have gotten this far without the support of the Dairy Islands, and also because it's very, very cool to see the woman sitting across from her.

"What about you?" Annabelle says. "Captain of the Frosted Fleet's in one of your titles, isn't it?"

Saccharina nods. "I haven't been on the Dairy Sea in so long, but I met most of my people when I was still--"

"Pirating?" Annabelle says, and Saccharina nods with only a little embarrassment. She's past being ashamed of what she needed to do to survive, but it's a little harder to connect to it from a castle rather than a cave. "Well, thanks for not attacking the Islands as much as you could."

Saccharina had drowned an island and doesn't regret it to this day, but she hadn't wanted to attack anyone other than the nuns. Some small and stupid part of her had hoped that her mom was alive, would come back to her if she held back the worst parts of herself.

"My issues were always with Candia," Saccharina lies, and Annabelle laughs.

---

The border issues are easy; they both still pay the same amount to the Concord, because the Dairy Islands lost almost nothing to Candia's borders changing, and none of the other nations are willing to muscle in on the oldest and strongest alliance between any two nations of Calorum.

But Annabelle doesn't just leave. When Saccharina works up the courage to ask her about it, hoping it won't come across as asking her to leave or, worse, hoping she'll stay, Annabelle just says, "I don't have much else to do. Primsy's been enjoying ruling and she's more than safe with the spirits of the wide sea protecting her. Thanks for that, by the way!"

"I think that one's Liam's fault, actually," Saccharina says. "I helped wake a few of the Meatlanders beast spirits, but Liam's wish spread magic as well as sugar."

"Sweet of him," Annabelle says wryly. "If he hurts Primsy, you know we'll go to war for it, right?"

"If he hurts Primsy, I'll be on your side," Saccharina says, and Annabelle claps a hand on her shoulder. Saccharina's face is so warm, what the hell, she normally runs almost freezing.

"Good woman," Annabelle says, and Saccharina turns her head just long enough to see Ruby make another face at her. "What's that about?"

"Just sister things!" Saccharina says quickly. Too quickly? She doesn't want to embarrass herself in front of a new friend(?), even if it's just because Ruby has a ridiculous guess about something that isn't even a real thing, anyway, so it isn't a big deal.

"I wouldn't know about that," Annabelle says, voice heavy with regret.

"We've never talked about--you know," Saccharina says.

"Just with leaving it at that, you've had more tact than the rest of your family put together, your Majesty," Annabelle says. "I'd rather not discuss the great shame of my life in a room with other people."

"Great shame?" Saccharina asks, disbelieving, before shaking her head. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to pry."

"Forgiven," Annabelle says, a smile at the corner of her mouth. Saccharina keeps her eyes on it for a little long; she has a nice smile, that's all. "I might retire for the night; Candian celebrations are a bit much for me. Good night, your Majesty."

Then Annabelle does the wildest thing; takes Saccharina's hand, gently kisses the back of it, and leaves while Saccharina stares into nothing about it.

"So," Ruby says, and Saccharina does not hit her with the Winterscoop, because she is a good and forgiving person. "How's that not-having-a-crush-on-Annabelle going?"

"I--don't," Saccharina says, but this time it comes out weird and stilted. "I mean, anyone would be flustered by Annabelle Cheddar kissing their hand."

"No," Ruby says, then pauses. "Well, yeah, but it's not just that. You spend so much time with her, and she doesn't even have a reason to be here anymore!"

"She's just bored," Saccharina says. "She's not in charge of running the Dairy Islands, she's basically just on vacation."

"Saccharina," Ruby says. "I say this as your sister, who l--I say this as your sister."

"I'm going to be distracted by that until you finish the thought."

"I don't think I can right now and if you push it I will tell Annabelle that you stared off into space for a solid minute after that," Ruby says, and Saccharina should've let Cinnamon eat her, probably. "But listen. I really think you should just tell Annabelle you like her."

"I don't even like her," Saccharina says. "Also, even if I did, hypothetically, she's pretty vocally not interested in romance. Besides, I'm busy with Candia. And I still have to try and bring back magic in other countries, too."

"Wow," Ruby says. "Do you have any other excuses, or do you think you're all done?"

Saccharina crosses her arms and tries to glare at her sister, but it's hard to stay annoyed when the person you're mad at keeps giggling.

"Trust me, okay?" Ruby says. "Tell her."

---

Saccharina does not tell her anything. There isn't even anything to tell. It's not as though Saccharina's never had crushes before--when she met Gooey, she wanted to be just like her for the first few months until their relationship mellowed out into friendship and fierce loyalty.

This isn't that! It's just respect and admiration for someone who helped make sure that her family was safe, helped her win a war and take a throne, albeit indirectly.

It's just that she's getting used to having Annabelle around, even if she's not quite used to everything Annabelle does. Annabelle, who sits at her side every dinner after the hand kiss incident, who tells her stories about storms on the sea that make them sound like something new to Saccharina, who listens when Saccharina tells her about what magic feels like.

"I wish you had it," Saccharina admits, hopes Annabelle doesn't hate her for it. "I know magic is--I know not a lot of people in the Dairy Islands trust it. But it's something beautiful."

"I won't pretend I didn't have my suspicions," Annabelle says. "Especially after Port Syrup."

"Oh, you don't need to worry about Cinnamon," Saccharina interrupts. "He ate from Liam's weird tree so now he's not connected to the Hungry One anymore."

"...right," Annabelle says. "I don't think I'll ever get used to you Candians, actually. Sometimes you open your mouth and the most wild assortment of words I've ever heard comes out and you act like it's totally normal."

"It is normal," Saccharina says. "That's--it's hard to say, but magic is normal. It was just buried. I'm trying to unbury it. Everyone should have it, not just Candians."

"You sure?" Annabelle asks. "Because you know the other countries might come after us if they have magic enough to make a real go of it."

The thing she should focus on in that sentence is not us, but Saccharina's heart flutters a little at it anyway.

There might be something to Ruby's theory.

---

"You're leaving?" Saccharina asks, feeling, irrationally, betrayed. Annabelle had never promised to stay by her side, all but admitted she was only waiting for something better to come along so she didn't have to stay with the wild Candians. But it hurts anyway, knowing someone else is leaving Saccharina.

It doesn't help that Ruby's found that flyer for the Swirler Sisters, either. She loves Cinnamon and he loves her but it's not the same without people around.

"Primsy's built me another ship," Annabelle says. "It's not--nothing will replace the Colby, but my crew's itching to get back to sea, and I am, too. You've been incredibly welcoming, Your Majesty, and this is not at all about your hospitality."

"Good," Saccharina says, because she does still take pride in their guest rooms. "I--it was good to get to know you. I'll miss you."

"You've got those white chocolate ravens, yeah?" Annabelle asks, standing a little straighter.

"I--yes," Saccharina says, confused by the non-sequiter.

"Can they carry letters?"

"I don't see why not," Saccharina says.

"Good," Annabelle says, and tilts up Saccharina's face so that she's looking right into Annabelle's eyes. "Now I hope I'm not misreading things."

"Um," Saccharina says, heart beating so fast she can feel it in her ears.

"And I still don't plan to marry, even if it is to a woman as impressive as you," Annabelle continues, and Saccharina feels lightning spark in her fingertips. "Bulb above, Candians."

"I'd love to send you letters," Saccharina says, brain finally catching up, and Annabelle grins. "Are you going to kiss me or am I just going crazy?"

"Well, crazy is part and parcel of your family, your Majesty," Annabelle says, and kisses Saccharina's frown away.

---

"You owe me thirty gold pieces," Ruby tells Swifty, staring at this from the ramparts. Saccharina really needs to learn to have private conversations in places where there aren't any hiding places for her.

"I could just push you off," he says, gesturing with his knife to emphasize it, but throws some gold at her, so Ruby doesn't think he's actually that upset.

[luna-eclipse2000]

Shingeki no Danganronpa

Chapter 1, part 1

So I started this story last year when the Danganronpa craze happened but I still wanna post it because I think it’s a pretty alright take on the game. I put a hashtag of the name of this series so the parts are easy to find. (ie. Shingeki no Danganronpa Chapter 1)

——————————————————————————

Hope’s Peak High. A school so large that it towers over all the other buildings in this bustling urban area. Some people say that the school is like it’s at the centre of the world, which I agree to. Except, it is at the centre of the entire world. Everyone knows about this school and how prestigious it is. Anybody who’s anybody dreams of getting that fateful acceptance letter from administration. They say that if you come here and manage to graduate, you’ll be set for life. I’m not the most interesting person in the world, so it was a complete shock when I got a letter saying that they want me to attend. The only award I’ve ever won was a runner’s up ribbon in a fishing tourney. My letter told me that I’m the ‘Ultimate Lucky Student’, which sounds like complete horse shit in my opinion.

I get good grades, sure, but nothing as skyrocketing as some of the people who get in for a purpose. I still accepted the opportunity because I’m not an idiot. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity and there’s no way that I’ll give it up because I feel like I don’t belong there... which I definitely feel like. I would’ve just assumed that they got the wrong person but they don’t send acceptance letters to the wrong house, it hasn’t happened in the fifty years the school’s been running for, and I’m pretty sure that the name (f/n) (l/n) isn’t common in this area. So here I now stand, in front of the massive school. It’s even more impressive and intimidating in person. Before I arrived, I did a small Google search on who was going to be in my class and it ranges from more mundane things like the Ultimate Cleaner to the Ultimate Strategist. But, despite my uncertainty of my presence, I put on a brave face and walk through the entrance gates... only to start feeling dizzy and nauseous, like I’m in one of those crazy amusement park rides where you spin in a circle very quickly and the floor drops. No sooner do I start feeling this way, do I black out.

~~~~~

“The hell just happened?” I ask myself as I open my eyes and take a look at my surroundings. I seem to be in a classroom because of all the desks and the blackboard up front, but there’s no windows. Just big metal plates with even bigger bolts and screws holding them in place. “Huh. Weird. Maybe that just shows some new part of the school they’re building and they don’t want any one to see it until it’s finished?” I wonder as I stand up from the desk. I look around but don’t see any bags, even mine is gone. When I turned back to my desk, I notice a slightly folded piece of paper on it, so I pick it up out of curiosity.

Hey there, new kid! The next semester is about to start. Starting today, this school will be your entire world.

“Knew it was the centre of the world.” I think to myself and then place the card down. It didn’t look very professional as it was written in black and red pencil crayon, but it’s a high school so I doubt there are any kids. And if there were, I would have to report them to cops for child labour. I look up at the clock and see that’s it’s eight. “How long was I out for? An hour probably, maybe less. Wait, doesn’t this school start at eight? Where’s all the students? And the teachers? Maybe I read the time wrong on the letter.”

I then go out of the classroom and notice the weird magenta and purple look of the halls and cringe at the contrast. “Ok, what the hell is with this hallway? And, again, where are all the people? I know that eight am isn’t very early, at least not so early that it’s a ghost town. Oh, shit, maybe there’s an assembly!”

I begin to race down the hall and pass by a red door that feels too eerily out of place but I shake the feeling off and head towards the main hall. Once I arrive, I see that everyone else is already there. “Hey, look! Someone else is here!” Someone says. “So that makes fifteen of us.” Someone else points out. “So, you’re all new as well?” I ask them. “No, we’re here for shits and giggles.” A boy with black hair and sharp steel grey eyes rudely answers. I laugh awkwardly. “Who shoved a stick up your ass?”

He clicks his tongue in annoyance. “Anyways, I’m (f/n) (l/n).” I introduce myself. “Sorry I’m late. When I entered the school I just blacked out or some shit. It was really weird.”

“You too?” A short blonde girl asks. “That’s what happened to the rest of us! At first, I thought it was just nerves. But then everyone started to realize that we all blacked out.”

“Yes. This is rather a strange situation.” A boy with blond hair that’s tied back a bit and glasses says. “I’ve never heard of fifteen people blacking out at different times at the same place on the same day.”

“We were drugged!” Someone speaks up. Everyone goes quiet as we turn our attention to the person who spoke. She’s rather tall and has brown hair, and wears glasses. “Oh, come on! I was just joking to lighten the mood! And ease the tension that’s growing because it’s making me a biiiit uncomfortable.”

“So then how about we just introduce ourselves then?” A black haired boy with freckles suggests. “That way we can ease the tension without freaking everyone out.”

I immediately feel calmer after he speaks. He’s got some kind of... energy or something around him. The first person I go up to is the short blonde girl with blue eyes. “Oh, hello! I’m Krista Lenz.”

Krista Lenz. She’s the Ultimate Volunteer. She volunteers all of her free time to shelters, reading to kids, helping the city, going in to retirement/nursing homes, helping out in hospitals and keeping veterans company. She’s even gone abroad to help build homes. She’s known online as Angel, and I can totally see why. Not just because of her noble acts, but because she looks so pure and innocent. Like a little angel. “Well, it’s actually Historia Reiss but that’s hard for kids and seniors to pronounce and spell so I just came up with the fake name.” Krista explains. “No way, seriously?” I ask her. “Doesn’t it bother you that you’re popular with a name that isn’t technically yours?”

She giggles cutely. “Singers do it all the time, don’t they? Katy Perry’s last name is actually Hudson but she didn’t want to get confused for the actress, Kate Hudson.”

“Oh, right, yeah.” I say awkwardly and then move onto the next person.

I decide to go up to the the boy who suggested introductions. “Hi! I’m Marco Bodt. It’s nice to meet you!”

Ah, yes. Marco Bodt, the Ultimate Peacekeeper. He tries to help different countries bring peace to them so no more wars break out. He’s also proposed that they follow England in having a special force of officers who carry guns while the majority only carry nightsticks. He’s also won a Nobel peace prize. “So, what are you here for?” Marco asks me. “Oh, nothing special. I’m not that important.” I say. “Nonsense! You were accepted, right?” Marco says. “I got chosen by chance to be the lucky student.” I tell him. “See?” Marco says. “Out of everyone in the world that they put into chance, you got chosen! Not Diana across town. And the letter even said you were the Ultimate Lucky Student as a result, that accounts for something, right?”

I smile thankfully and go to say something else but hear shouting instead. “What the fuck did you call me, you suicidal bastard?!”

“I called you a horse face, horse face!” The other person responds just as angrily. “Oh, geez.” Marco says. “Sorry, I’m gonna go break them up so there isn’t a murder or anything.”

Marco then heads off to go calm the two boys down. I roll my eyes. “Teenage boys. Why are they like this?”

I head off to another boy, but he doesn’t have any hair. Or at least very little, short, stubby hairs. “Hi, I’m Connie Springer!”

Connie Springer is the Ultimate Prankster. He’s pulled pranks on a various number of people, none of which were very tame. He’s pranked politicians and celebrities. He’s helped talk show hosts prank their audiences and even pranked a military general. I honestly don’t know how he got away with his life for that one, especially since I heard how strict and unforgiving the general is. “It’s nice to meet you, Connie.” I say. “How’d you even escape General Shadis after putting Veet in his shampoo and then switching his toothpaste for actual sewerage?”

“Not easily, I’ll tell you that.” Connie responds with a laugh.

I then move onto the next person. A girl with black hair and grey eyes standing beside a boy with brown hair and beautiful turquoise eyes that I’m honestly jealous of. “Hi. I’m Eren Jaeger and this is Mikasa Ackerman.”

Eren Jaeger. The Ultimate Freedom Fighter. He leads various protests to allow people more rights and be more free, and he also runs different projects that aid in getting people free from their situation. Mikasa Ackerman is his adopted sister and is basically known as his knight in shining armour because of her saving Eren from all the aggressive people he’s encountered. She’s the Ultimate Protector. She protects students at school from bullies, and protects her brother, Eren, from everything. She’s been known to intimated police and SWAT teams, who are already trying to get her to join their force. Marco’s even been seen with them from time to time when he knows it could get very ugly. “What you’ve been doing is quite admirable, Eren.” I compliment him. “It’s great of you to stand up for complete strangers.”

He bashfully puts a hand on the back of his neck with a light blush and smile. “Thanks. Everyone deserves to have freedom so I just stand up for those who’s voices are drowned out by every day noise.”

I turn to Mikasa. “And you’re pretty brave to tell SWAT officers off.”

She just shrugs. “I don’t see it as brave.”

I nod and then go to the next person. Well, group. A tall boy with dark brown hair who seems to be sweating a lot, a blond boy who’s pretty buff, and a short blond girl who gives off as much warmth as an iceberg in a blizzard. “Hi. I’m (f/n) (l/n).” I introduce myself to them. They all look at me and I see the blond smirk. “Nah, cute is what you are.” He says to me. I can feel my cheeks start to burn at his pick-up line. “Oh, well, uh, thank you.”

“I’m Reiner Braun. This guy here’s Bertolt Hoover, and this is Annie Leonhart.”

Reiner Braun’s the Ultimate Blacksmith. He looks much more like a sports guy but when you see what he makes, you know that his talents lie with making armour and weapons. He makes them professionally for people who want a real replica of what medieval knights had, cosplayers, and medieval dinner shows. He’s won more than fifty competitions for blacksmithing. Bertolt Hoover is the Ultimate Deceit. He’s gotten away with a bunch of different crimes because of his shy and timid nature that makes him fade more into the background. Annie Leonhart is the Ultimate Fighter. Her father put her into boxing when she was a kid and beat the instructor on her first day so she started to train professionally. “So, what do you think about us being a thing when school really gets started, huh?” Reiner flirts. “Reiner, shut up.” Annie orders her friend. “Thanks for the offer.” I say. “It’s really tempting, but I have to decline.”

I quickly leave the trio to go introduce myself to a girl with auburn hair tied up into a ponytail. “Hi! I’m Sasha Braus!”

Sasha Braus runs a successful food critic website and tries food from all over the world including octopus, fried spiders and escamol. She’s friends with a bunch of different famous chefs like Gordon Ramsey and Rachel Ray. She’s also judged on a number of cooking shows and won every eating contest she’s competed in which is why she’s the Ultimate Foodie. “So, uh, when do you think we’ll get to eat?” Sasha asks me. I think for a second. “Not sure. We’ll probably have the orientation meeting and then be given a tour of the school, which will take a while, so probably not until at least eleven.”

She pouts. That’s when I notice a smell. “What the hell is that?”

“Oh, it’s a potato.” Sasha says and pulls out a whole baked potato from her jacket pocket. “Where the hell did you find a potato?!” I ask her. “Well when I woke up, I was really hungry. But my bag wasn’t with me that carried all my snacks. So before I came to the main hall, I decided to go find the dining hall. The potato was just kind of... there. Like it was waiting for me to eat it.” Sasha says and then breaks off a piece. “You want half?”

I look at the piece and see that it’s more like a quarter but I’m not hungry anyway so I politely decline. “More for me then!”

I laugh at her and then turn and see the black haired male with the stick up his ass. “Let’s get this over with.” I think to myself as I make my way over. “Hi.” I greet him. His cold eyes land on me and I instantly feel like I committed a felony or something. “Levi Ackerman.”

Levi Ackerman, distant cousin of Mikasa Ackerman, according to tabloids, who’s the Ultimate Cleaner. Apparently he grew up in the shittiest part of the city where the rats are almost the size of feet, which is where his obsession for cleanliness came from. He cleans up any vandalism from the streets and enforces no littering. He’s run mass city, beach and ocean clean ups. I decide that it’s best to leave him alone so I turn to the brown haired girl beside him who’s wearing glasses. “Hiii! I’m Hanji Zoë! The Ultimate Scientist! Also I’m non-binary, just so you know.”

Hanji Zoë definitely lives up to the title. They found a new element when they were ten and they had to do their science work from home so a university chemist and biologist could come tutor them. They even created a new cell that can protect the body from diseases like TB, certain cancers, and certain joint problems. She also won a Nobel prize. “It’s nice to meet you.” I say. “Great job on getting that Nobel prize for your cell creation!”

“Thank you, but it was nothing.” Hanji brushes my compliment off. “I don’t need an award to tell me that I helped millions of people for me to know it. Sorry, did that sound cocky?”

“No, no! It’s ok! I understand what you mean.” I tell them and then go off to the blond boy with glasses. “Hi. I’m Armin Arlert.”

Armin Arlert. The Ultimate Strategist who came up with his first strategy to get out of the orphanage he was placed in and go completely unnoticed when he was eight. After that, he started working with the military and with him on their side, there are much fewer casualties for them... but not for the other side. “So, your strategies are pretty damn good.” I say. “How on earth do you come up with them?”

“Oh, I don’t know. It just kind of happens.” Armin says awkwardly. “You get nervous about speaking about your brain, don’t you?” I ask him. He chuckles with a small blush. “Was I that obvious?”

“It’s ok. I get it. You help the military to make sure that they don’t lose as many soldiers as the other side.” I say. He nods shyly, so I move onto the next person. She has brown hair tied back into a flat ponytail. “Hi. I’m (f/n).” I introduce myself. “Ymir.” She introduces herself.

With the lack of a last name, and not hearing about her at all online, I just nod my head awkwardly and go introduce myself to the final person. He’s talking to Marco and has interesting hair. It’s ash blond with a brown undercut. “Hi, I’m (f/n) (l/n).” I introduce myself. The boy turns around and I get bit startled by his amber eyes. Eren has pretty eyes, but this guy is a full on pretty boy. He gives me a grin and I can tell he knows it, too. “Hey, Jean Kirschtein.”

Jean Kirschtein is the Ultimate Equestrian. He’s been riding horses ever since he could walk because he grew up on a farm. He entered his first equestrian competition when he was seven and has won first every year. He helps take care of horses from his own to others and even helps beginners with picking out which horse they should ride first. He even runs riding lessons at the farms for said beginners. “So, I heard that you’re the Ultimate Lucky Student, eh?” Jean asks. “Could I have some of that luck to take you horse riding?”

“Keep it PG at school, horse face!” We hear Eren mock. “I don’t have a horse face!” Jean shouts at him. “And I wasn’t implying anything!”

He’s obviously a bit embarrassed and flustered. “Alright, alright. Calm down. He’s just doing it to rile you up.” Marco says to Jean. “If it’s any consolation, I don’t think you look like a horse.” I tell him.

Just as I finish saying that, a bell goes off. “Ahem! Ahem! Testing, testing! Mic check, one, two! This is a test of the school’s broadcast system! Am I on? Can everyone hear me? Ok, well then...!” A voice speaks through the PA system. “Ahh, to all incoming students! I would like to begin the entrance ceremony at... right now! Please make your way to the gymnasium at your earliest convenience... That’s all. I’ll be waiting!”

“Is that voice not sitting well with anyone else or is my stomach feeling squirmy because of the potato I stole?” Sasha asks us. “No. It definitely feels odd.” Marco agrees with her. “We don’t have time for this, brats. Let’s just get on with this so I can clean. This place is absolutely filthy.” Levi says monotonously with a hint of disgust as he walks away from the group and towards the gym. I look at Jean and Marco and the three of us follow him, followed by everyone else. We all make it to the gym in a few short minutes. I see Hanji go towards the trophy case and look straight at this gold and purple katana. “Oo, pretty!” They exclaim and then touch the handle but immediately retract their hand. “Damn, that thing is absolutely coated in gold dust! My hand looks like El Dorado!”

“Um... anyone else find it weird that the hall’s are completely empty?” Krista asks as we enter the gym itself. “I haven’t even heard any other classes going in the classrooms.”

“Yeah, man. I’m getting weirded out, now.” Connie agrees with her. “And did anyone else notice that there were machine guns in front of the entrance which looked like a vault door?” Eren asks. “It’s probably nothing, Eren.” Mikasa says. “Why would they have machine guns in a school?”

He nods but I see him shift uncomfortably. “Hey there, howdy, hello!” The voice from earlier greets. “Is everyone here? Good! Then let’s get things rolling!”

We all look towards the stage which has a podium in the centre and the school crest above it, which are two wings; one white and one blue. As we await our headmaster to walk on stage, a black and white teddy bear pops up and lands on the podium. I hear Connie snort back a laugh. “A teddy bear?” Krista asks in confusion. “I’m not a teddy bear!” The bear says lowly. “I... am... Monokuma! And I am this school’s headmaster!”

I try to wrap my head around what’s happening. A teddy bear- er, uh, Monokuma is our headmaster who’s mouth doesn’t even move when he’s talking. I look around at all my classmates, particularly Connie, to see if this is a joke of his, but everyone looks just as confused as I am. Except Annie but she’s devoid of all of emotion. Hell, even Levi has an eyebrow quirked at the oddness. “Nice to meet you all!”

“Ok, Connie.” Reiner says. “This was hilarious, best prank you’ve ever pulled! But can you turn off the teddy bear now?”

“I’m not doing this, I swear! You guys can search me for a remote or whatever.” Connie responds. “I don’t think he has the intelligence needed to build that. No offence, Connie.” Armin says. I see Connie look slightly offended at the words. “I told you already, I’m not a teddy bear... I’m Monokuma! And I’m your headmaster!” Monokuma shouts angrily as he moves his arms up to display further emotion. “AH! It moved!” Sasha screeches. “No shit, Sherlock.” Levi mumbles. “Oh, calm down, everyone! It’s obviously just a remote controlled toy!” Hanji says. “How dare you compare me to a child’s plaything!” Monokuma says. “You’ve cut me deep. Deeper than the Mariana Trench... My remote control system is so complex, even the folks in the Military Police can’t recreate or even comprehend it! Then again, that place is full of nitwits! Now then, moving on! We really must hurry and get started... Everyone, stand at attention and bow! And... good morning!”

Marco does as he’s told. “Good morning, sir!”

“Marco, stand up.” Jean whispers and pulls the boy up from his bow. “Don’t fall for this shit.”

“Now then, let us commence with a most noteworthy and memorable entrance ceremony!” Monokuma says. “First, let’s talk a bit about what your school life here will be like. Now, ah, make no mistake- you few students, so full of potential, represent the hope of the world. And to protect such splendid hope... you will all live a communal life together solely within the confines of this school. Everyone will live in harmony together, and adhere to the school’s rules and regulations. Ah, now then... regarding the end date of this communal life... there isn’t one! In other words, you’ll all be here until the day you die! Such is the school life you’ve been assigned.”

“Until we die? What kind of fucked up bullshit is this?” Levi asks. “Oh, but fear not!” Monokuma assures us. “We have quite an abundant budget, so you won’t lack for all the common conveniences.”

“That’s still not very comforting.” I tell him. “You gotta be screwing with us!” Connie says. “I am not screwing with you!” Monokuma shouts angrily. “I am no liar, of that you can be 100% sure. Ah, and just for your information... you’re completely cut off from the outside world. So you don’t have to worry about that dirty, dirty land beyond these walls ever again!”

I feel my pockets for my phone. “They took our phones!” I announce. Everyone then starts to check themselves for theirs, too. “So, then... all those metal plates all over the school... they’re there to keep us trapped in here?” Reiner asks him. “That’s exactly what they’re there for.” Monokuma confirms. “No matter how much you may yell and scream for help... help will not come. So with all that in mind, feel free to live out your life here with reckless abandon!”

“Come on, what the hell is this? It’s not funny!” Eren asks. “You all keep saying this is a lie, or a joke.” Monokuma says. “A bunch of skeptics, all of you. But I guess you can’t help it, huh? You all grew up in an age where you’re taught to doubt your neighbour... Well, you’ll have plenty of time to find out whether or not what I say is true. And when that time comes, you’ll see with your own eyes that I speak the undeniable truth.” Monokuma answers Eren.

“I don’t want to live here forever! This is bullshit!” Jean shouts nervously. No one else looks pleased with the news. “Come, now. What’s the matter with all of you? You decided of your own free will to attend Hope’s Peak Academy, didn’t you? And now, before the entrance ceremony is even finished, you’ve already decided that you want to leave? Oh, but you know... I guess I did forget to mention one thing. There is one way for you to leave the school...” Monokuma leaves us in hopeful suspense.

“Spit it out, already.” Annie orders. “Ok, ok! Calm down!” Monokuma says. “As headmaster, I’ve crafted a special clause for those of you who would like to leave! I call it... the Graduation Clause! Now, let me tell you about this fun little rule. As I mentioned, in order to maintain an environment of harmony here, we rely on a communal lifestyle. And if someone were to disrupt that harmony, they, and they alone, would be allowed to leave the school. That, my students, is the Graduation Clause!”

“So by disrupting the peace, all we need to do is fling shit, literally, at people and we can just... go?” Levi asks with a hint of skepticism in his voice. Monokuma laughs. “No. Not exactly. But... if someone were murder another. (“Murder?!” We all repeat in shock) Stabbing, strangling, bludgeoning, crushing, hacking, drowning, igniting, how you do it doesn’t matter. You must kill someone if you want to leave. It’s as simple as that. The rest is up to you. Give it your all to achieve the best outcome in the worst way possible!”

The air goes suffocatingly thick as we all process the situation at hand. We’re trapped in here for life unless we commit murder. There’s no way to contact the outside world, all the windows are boarded up with giant plates of metal, and our headmaster is a complete psycho. No one wants to believe this. It’s something straight out of a horror movie or a TV show created by someone seriously fucked up. Monokuma’s laugh brings us all out of our stupor. “I bet that got your brain juices flowing! Beats the heck out of a human catching a salmon, huh? Like I said before, you guys are the hope of the world. But you know... taking that hope and seeing it get murdered creates a darkened shadow of despair. And I just find that so. Darn. Exciting!”

“You’re insane!” Krista exclaims as she starts to cry a bit. “You guys just don’t get it, do you?” Monokuma asks. “‘Let us go, let us go!’ You keep on saying the same thing over and over and over and over...! Listen. From this moment on, this school is your home, your life, your world. Got it? And you can kill as much as you wanna kill! So go ahead! Go on a kill-kill-killing spree!”

No one makes a move, or a sound, for a good few seconds until Mikasa walks up to the podium. She just stands there. “Eh? Well what do you want?” Monokuma asks her. When he finishes speaking, she grabs him by his little bear neck and lifts him off the ground. Monokuma waves his arms up and down. “I don’t know if you’re a toy, and, frankly, I don’t care, but you just threatened myself, Eren and everyone else here with murder. If it’s murder you want, it’s murder you’ll get.” Mikasa says and pulls out a pocketknife from her pants pocket. “Waah! Violence against the headmaster is in violation of school regulations!” Monokuma shouts. “You never said that before.” Mikasa says stoically. “And all we need to do is disturb the peace to leave, right? So all I need to do is pull out your stuffing and I’ll get to leave. And since you won’t be around, I’ll take everyone here with me.”

He doesn’t respond except for some kind of beeping. “Is he shutting down?” I question. The beeping then gets louder and more frequent. I then hear a gasp come from behind me. “Throw it!” Hanji instructs. “What?” Mikasa responds. “Throw the damn bear! He’s gonna explode!” Hanji explains. Mikasa immediately throws the bear away and then throws herself onto Eren so he doesn’t get hurt as Monokuma explodes.

I jump from the sudden sound and hear Krista squeak in surprise. “Well, shit. That really throws the reality of this situation in our faces.” Levi says with his usual emotionless voice, but there’s a hint of nervousness behind it. “Wait, guys, Mikasa still killed it!” I point out. “Yeah! The bastard bear’s destroyed!” Eren cheers. “Uh... I-I wouldn’t be so sure...” Armin speaks up as Monokuma reappears on the podium. “Nice try! But it’ll take a lot more than a silly explosion to kill me!”

“Oh, come on! What the hell is this?!” Reiner shouts. “So I was almost killed for nothing?” Mikasa asks. “Of course! You violated one of the school regulations, after all. I’ll let you off with a warning this time, but you’d better be careful from now on. Any naughty boy or girl who violates my rules won’t get off with just a little swat on the butt.” Monokuma threatens. I swear I see a vein on his forehead pop out from the anger. “Wait... if you exploded... and you’re back... does that mean that there are more of you?” Hanji asks him. “Mhm! Yup! There’s also surveillance cameras installed everywhere so I’ll be able to see if you break the rules. Then it’s bye-bye birdie! Now that that’s out of the way, to commemorate your joyous entry into our school, I have a little something for you...” Monokuma says and then flat tablets appear before each of us from the ground. “This is your official student handbook! Pretty cool, huh? As you can see, it’s fully digital. So naturally, we called it... the E-Handbook!”

“Wow... I wonder how many brain cells it took to come up with that?” Hanji says sarcastically. “Ignoring that rude comment, this handbook is absolutely vital to a healthy school life, so don’t lose it! When you start it up, it will display your name. Always make sure you have the right one! Now, this is not your everyday notebook. It has so many more uses than that! Also, it’s completely waterproof. Splash it, wash it, drown it, it’ll keep ticking! And thanks to its space-age design, it can withstand an impact force of up to ten tons. It’s very resistant! It contains all of our school regulations, so make sure you review them thoroughly! You’ll hear me say this a lot, but any violation of school regulations will not be tolerated.”

“This is gonna get pretty fucking annoying.” Ymir groans. “Well, then, don’t violate the rules and you won’t hear it often, sweets. (“Sweets?! Why you-!” Ymir growls but refuses to move so nothing else happens.) Rules restrict, yes, but they also protect. Society, for example, would be utter chaos without laws. (“It’s got a point...” Annie agrees with Monokuma). The same thing applies here! Which is why it’s crucial that we have strict punishments in place for violators. Ok, well... that brings our entrance ceremony to a close! Please enjoy your abundantly dreary school life! See ya!” Monokuma says before disappearing.

With him now gone, we all have time to properly process what we were all just told. I can feel the fear lingering in the air. This school is wrongfully named after Hope. Like he said, the opposite of hope is despair... which is the state that all of us are currently in.

[irene-sadler]

Sir Reynard and the Red Knight

(aka “The Tournament”)

`       Had Isbel made it rain? Meve thought maybe Gascon was onto something, but knew better than to ask. Regardless, the weather had changed by morning to a chill wind and cloudy sky which warmed to a damp, but rainless, afternoon. Possibly it was pleasant enough for those observing the proceedings and eating roasted nuts; she herself was drenched in sweat and could see only a small, square piece of the world beyond the two-inch thickness of leather, eighth-inch of steel, and heavy coat of dull black paint that separated her head from the outside world. Her view of the day was of pale gray skies, floating colorful banners, and the back of Bohault’s armor directly in front of her.

             (“The tourney armor is not quite what you’re used to wearing.” Reynard had advised her, the night before. “It’s heavier and thicker.”

           He’d considered the hastily-painted set he’d loaned her, frowning doubtfully.

           “I must admit, I’m concerned that a few of these knights might recognize my armor even with the black paint, but will of course know I’m not in it; luckily it will be hard for them to say much about it if you arrive with no time to spare. Of course, a real professional can generally tell who is wearing a set of armor by the way they fight, whatever disguise they may employ, but they’ve never seen you fight, and even if they know my armor, and they know me, they may not figure out the discrepancy before it’s too late; for them, I mean.”

           She’d grinned, gap-toothed and wolfish.)

           She wasn’t smiling then, because of her jangling nerves, but he was right. It was impossible to see much of anything through the helm, much less recognize an individual knight, or realize that someone wasn’t really a knight. The roped-off lists teemed with a shifting, crushing press of horses and people – knights, footmen, valets, and Gascon, visible in the front of the mass, talking to Reynard, although she had no idea what they were saying, between the din of the crowd in the distance and the rattle of armor directly around her.

             (“You won’t be able to hear much of anything, what with the crowd and the helm,” Reynard had continued, with a smile that almost matched hers, “It’s easiest to just listen for trumpets. The first you’ll hear are a warning to prepare yourself.”)

           She heard a distant blare of instruments through the metal and leather that protected her head; her destrier, a massive bay animal, twitched his ears at the sound and sidled gently away from her neighbors, carrying her footmen and valets along with him like lesser celestial bodies. She sat still as he completed his movement and then stood patiently, unaffected by the din or by the dramatics of any of the horses near him. A veteran, she noted with appreciation; she’d borrowed him, like the armor, from Reynard, and wasn’t sure which of the two she valued more at that moment.

             (“The second time you hear horns will be when the melee is over. Once all is in order, they’ll cut the ropes; you’ve seen this done, of course. After that you may fight whoever you come across who is on th’ opposing side. As you aren’t a famous, or infamous, knight, nobody will single you out in particular, and all you need to worry about to succeed is staying on your horse – but you’ve been in plenty of real battles, and you know that. I think you’ll do very well, under the circumstances.”)

             The mass of men and animals waited; a drift of wood smoke floated over them and found its way through the little gap in Meve’s visor. Her eyes watered; she battled the urge to sneeze, lost, and, at that moment of weakness, the pack suddenly surged forward, carrying herself and her horse along with it. She juggled her lance and the reins for a moment, then noted the frustrated cant of her horse’s ears as he broke into a slow, heavy trot with the rest of the mass of rattling, encumbered men. It occurred to her that the animal knew more about his business than she did, so she dropped the reins, couched her lance, and knocked down her first attacker by instinct as much as skill. The spear shattered on impact with his breastplate and she continued on her way, dropping the useless splinters and happily shifting to more familiar tactics.

             (Reynard’s face had turned unsure again, as he spoke. She suspected he was more nervous than she was, herself.

“- you’ll do very well unless, of course, you fall off, and then it’s anyone’s guess. You fight well on foot, better than I do, in fact, but it’s still best for you to stay mounted; mine will do his best to keep you aboard if he possibly can.”)

 With a lance, she was awkward at best, but with a mace, she was perfectly competent. Reynard’s horse needed no guidance, and she battered her way through one, then another, of the defendant knights, as they happened to pass into her narrow view. She smashed through the lance of the first as he tilted at her, turned back after him, shoved him to the ground with her shield, and kept going. The second knight she recognized with satisfaction - he was dressed in red armor and had, seeing her unstoppable approach, moved to block her way. Her horse turned himself obligingly to put her alongside. She swung, experimentally, was easily blocked on his shield, and deflected an answering sword-blow with her own. Her next swing was delivered with the full force of her personal dislike behind it. The hit dented the stranger’s shield and splintered her mace; the head flew off into the air. They paused, staring at the splintered handle of her weapon in mutual astonishment.

             (“But if you fall, Meve, you ought to yield; Bohault and th’ others will keep you in one piece. At least, I hope they will,” Reynard added, with a doubtful frown, which he shook off sharply. “Yes, they will, you’ll be fine. However, should you lose your helm-“

           “Oh,” she said, taking his hand and steering him away from the armor, “Not to worry; I’ll wear a knit hat to cover my hair, and nobody will notice. Although, I do wish Isbel hadn’t refused to charm the thing so it wouldn’t come off at all, but I suppose that’d be an unfair advantage.”)

           The moment was interrupted as someone hit the back of her helm from behind, a clanging blow that crashed her off her horse and into the clinging mud below. Isbel had most definitely caused the rainstorm, Meve reflected distractedly, as someone immediately dragged her up out of the muck and onto her feet. The stolid, middle-aged face of Bohault loomed overhead. He released her as she dragged her sword out of its sheath, and shouted an angry negative at whatever he was saying. She abandoned the horse and her shield, pushed Gaspar out of her way, and strode off in search of a new target, ignoring her ringing ears. Close by, one of her allies was scrambling backward, under desperate siege by a pair of opponents; she dealt one a hard punch to the helm with her armored fist, closed with the second and disarmed him with a clever twist of her weapon that sent his sword flying, turned back to her first victim, and scowled in disgust as the knight rapidly backed away from her and made his escape.

The man she’d rescued was floundering in the mud with his helm crooked; Meve made a momentary search, turning her entire torso to see through her visor, for his footmen, saw none, dropped her sword in the mud, and, gritting her teeth through her growing exhaustion, dragged him back onto his feet with both hands. She recognized his face with a flash of annoyance, noticed that his right arm was most probably broken, from the way his shield was awkwardly hanging, and sighed. Over his shoulder, Meve spotted the red knight coming for her, himself unhorsed; she hesitated, then raised her empty hand significantly, and, as he accordingly changed course and passed her by, reluctantly signaled to Bohault. The cavalryman and her own footmen circled around, blackjacks held against the thinning remains of the melee.

             (“You’ll get tired, sooner than you think, my dear, but recall that this isn’t a real battle, and you may quit the field at any time, even if the fight hasn’t ended yet.”

           She’d scoffed at the idea. Reynard smiled and shook his head at her.)

             “There’s no shame in retiring early, so long as you put in a valiant effort,” Reynard had said; she repeated his rhetoric to Ethan, just before Isbel snapped the squire’s right shoulder back into place. The youth had nothing to say in response, but managed to nod to convey that he accepted her comments as an absolute truth, given by his Queen, before he fainted dead away. She sighed, rubbed her aching neck, and prepared herself for another lecture from the sorceress, but to her mild surprise the older woman only nodded approvingly at her.

           “You’re wanted, ma’am,” Pug announced, sticking her head into the room, “And the Duke of Dogs warns that you’ve won some prize or something, and ought t’ prepare according.”

           “They’ve been saying that the black knight is in love with a princess who was turned by magic into a swan,” Isbel remarked. “And that he is searching for a way to turn her back; as part of his quest, he has taken a vow of silence, so that he neither speaks nor removes his helmet. I’ve no idea how these rumors began circulating, obviously.”

           “Fantastic,” Meve mumbled, reaching for her helm. “A swan, is it? Sound most inconvenient; for the knight, I mean. I’m sure the lady is quite content.”

             The prize was granted by the middle-aged wife of the defendant Baron, smugly standing in for the mysteriously absent Queen; Meve recognized the woman from the previous day’s jousting even through her narrow view. She was exhausted, but Reynard’s horse carried her to receive her due, again without any instruction on her part, and her mud-spattered armor disguised her slight shaking. Somewhere beyond her metal shell, a man haughtily announced, “Behold here this noble lady, accompanied by my lords the judges, who have come to give you the tourney prize, because you have been judged the knight who has fought best today in the melee of the tourney, and my lady prays that you will take it with good will.”

           She did, after a short pause before she realized she was being addressed, said nothing at all in response but only bowed, a motion made necessarily awkward by the weight of metal she wore, and then rode away.

             There was no avoiding either the feast or dance that night, and Meve’s dwindling morale was not improved on realizing she would be unable to avoid the Baroness, either; she didn’t dislike the woman, but her patience for small talk was limited, at the best of times, and almost nonexistent after her long day. Luckily, the older woman only eyed her speculatively for a moment as she sat down and then tactfully made uninteresting conversation on occasion. The evening therefore wore on tiresomely, but mostly in silence, until she nodded toward Gascon and his admirers and remarked to Meve, “I believe they grow them without brains, these days; you’d best keep that one in green away from your friend. Do you see her circling? A grasping creature; harpies don’t compare.”

           Meve, quite familiar with the behavior of harpies, considered the subject with an analytical eye and said, thoughtfully, “Hmm.”

           A few minutes later, they were deep in a detailed discussion of the merits and backgrounds of the women in the hall, and then, after another drink or two, the men as well; it carried them companionably until Gascon escaped the crowd and joined them. He flopped into the seat nearest Meve, uninvited, and consumed the rest of her drink with a dramatic sigh. The Baroness stared blandly at him; Meve rolled her eyes toward the other woman.

           “This is awful,” Gascon complained, “I don’t know how the two of you do this full-time. I think I was pretty rude, though; maybe most of those people won’t want to talk t’ me again.”

           “You get used to it, after a few decades – oh, what now?” Meve asked irritably, as the door to the hall banged open and an armed man strode confidently through. Conversation in the hall ceased instantly, as everyone else looked curiously at the newcomer: a soldier, Meve suspected from his patchwork armor of mail and leather and extensive mustache, or perhaps a mercenary. The stranger looked around himself, bowed toward the Queen and Baroness and said, politely enough, “Good evening; I’m looking for Sir Reynard Odo.”

           “Really? What for?” Gascon asked him, intrigued, but the knight stood up before the stranger could answer.

           “Yes? Can I help you?” he asked; Meve sighed as the stranger immediately declared, “My master, Sir Holt of the Fen, represents that you have offended his honor and demands that you apologize or else face the consequences.”

           “Who?” The Duke asked in a carrying whisper, blinking.

           “The red knight; you remember him,” Meve explained, much more quietly. “What did you do, Count Odo?” she asked, louder. The Count shrugged modestly.

           “He annoyed me yesterday evening, my lady,” he replied, “And so I threw him up some stairs. No, sir, I won’t apologize,” he continued, to the messenger. “Would do it again, in fact, given the chance.”

           Gascon grinned; the Baroness smirked; Meve had to duck her head slightly to hide her own slightly surprised smile. A whisper of comment and a few laughs went around the room; the stranger ignored them.

           “In that case, he challenges you to a duel, to restore his honor by force, says you are a recreant knight and no gentleman, and-“

           “Yes, yes,” Reynard interrupted, uncharacteristically impatient, “Gascon, would you mind arranging the details?”

           “Not at all,” he said, lightly. “Do you prefer swords, or something else?”

           “Doesn’t matter to me,” the knight replied, bowed to all present, and shot a quick glance at the Queen. She nodded, very slightly; he left the hall without another word.

           “Well,” she said to Gascon, as the stranger made his exit and the general din resumed, “I suppose we’ll be imposing on your hospitality for a few more days, then.”

           “Stay as long as you want,” Gascon replied cheerily.

             “I’m not surprised he wants to fight me,” Reynard was saying much later, sitting complacently with his legs stretched toward the inferno in Gascon’s fireplace and the knight who’d fought best that day resting her head in his lap, “But I did expect Sir Holt would choose a less melodramatic moment, if he called me out. These things would never fly in the royal court; you’d never get away with giving the melee prize to an unnamed knight who was dismounted and resigned early, no matter how gallantly he behaved toward his allies, or how well he fought beforehand. At least, not without any hurt feelings or complaints - not that I didn’t hear my share even here. Nor with trying to duel a judge of the tournament, for that matter, before it was yet officially over -”

           “She,” Meve interrupted, to redirect his lecture, “How well she fought. And I’ll give prizes in my court as I see fit, sir.”

           “Won’t be able to win all of ‘em yourself so easily, there,” he answered, “I thought you had fallen asleep; did I wake you?”

           “Resting my eyes only, my love,” she said, “I can hear well enough despite.”

           “It’s a fine trophy you’ve won,” Gascon said, examining the ruby-studded ring she’d been awarded with professional appreciation, “What will you do with it?”

           “Why, give it to the next swan I come across, naturally,” she said; Reynard almost laughed.

           “Say, Reynard,” the Duke continued, as if nothing unusual had happened, “Lord knows I’ve annoyed you hundreds of times, and yet you’ve never thrown me up some stairs. What gives?”

           “Did I say annoyed? I meant something else,” the knight replied, with an automatic glance at Meve. She raised an inquiring eyebrow up at him, smiled as he looked cagily away, and made no attempt to hide her gratification at his embarrassment.

           “Oh,” Gascon said, with an ironic smirk, tossed the ring to Reynard, and continued, inexplicably, “I get it. Well, I went against Sir Holt in the jousts th’ other day, and I don’t think he’s all that good of a fighter.”

           “He knocked you down in a single pass,” Meve noted.

           “Exactly;  nearly anyone else could have done it just as easily, so it proves no particular skill on his part.”

           “Yes, well, I fought him in the melee, and I think he’s more than passing good; you’ve your work cut out for you, Reynard. Although,” Meve added, “I should have beaten him in th’ end, without having to stop and rescue that squire of yours again, Gascon.”

           “No doubt,” Gascon agreed, with no obvious sarcasm. “Well, seems you’ve preparations to make, Reynard, so I’ll leave you to it. Don’t stay up too late.”

             Thick fog had settled in over the fort by the next morning; the Queen sent dozens of courtiers and retainers on their way before noon, moving very stiffly even to an unsuspecting eye, but otherwise appearing her usual self. The Duke, on the other hand, was visibly hungover and surly on top of it. The Baroness regarded her with a faint, amused smile, but said nothing of note to as she departed; Meve concluded that, probably, the older woman had gotten the wrong idea altogether about her relationship with Gascon, but it was too late to explain, even if she’d cared to bother. The only trouble with her and Reynard’s affair, she reflected, was that its private nature meant almost nobody else had any idea it existed, causing the occasional inconvenience.

           She managed the rest of the departures with casual patience. Those few of Gascon’s admirers who were truly dedicated braved his short answers and dull, stupid glare, to no profit - he had no obvious interest in any of the women, no matter what they tried. Reynard watched the proceedings on and off from a distance, saying nothing, but conveniently vanishing during the brief appearance and hasty departure of the red knight. By midafternoon, the last of the visitors were gone, leaving only the lesser mob of Meve’s own retinue. Gascon, who had suddenly recovered from his hangover and moodiness, departed for a conference with the enemy and returned late in the evening.

           “Sir Holt’s agreed to fight with th’ usual weapons, but not now. He says he wishes to postpone until some point in the near future; claims that his shield arm is injured from the melee due to a particularly hard hit, and he is, therefore, not prepared to restore his honor immediately,” he reported, helping himself to Reynard’s dinner. Meve smiled smugly.

           “So,” Reynard said, yielding over his mostly untouched plate and looking unusually irritated, “There was really no reason for him to interrupt your feast with this nonsense, yesterday.”

           “Well, he doesn’t wear that ridiculous red armor because he’s th’ uninteresting but considerate type, like yourself, my friend.”

           “I suppose I ought to go back to Rivia Castle tomorrow, then,” said Meve, without much enthusiasm, as Reynard rolled his eyes and Gascon grinned cheekily at him. “Two weeks away from court is, perhaps, a little long; I wouldn’t want them to start getting creative ideas in my absence.”

           “I’ll go too; no need to await Sir Holt’s recovery here instead of there,” Reynard said quickly.

           “Or you could stay here,” Gascon said hopefully, “Sure, it’ll take a few weeks, but by then it’ll be hunting season, which you shouldn’t miss - boars, should it snow early in the season, deer if it don’t, foxes either way - you’d be home in no less than two months, I figure, when all’s said and done.”

           The minor argument that immediately ensued brought Meve to a sudden conclusion; she considered that she wasn’t sure how, exactly, she could have missed the now very obvious reason for Gascon’s moodiness as she interrupted them:

           “Gascon, we aren’t parting forever or even departing on a long journey to distant Kovir, only going home, which is a few days’ ride from here at most; you may visit us at any time you choose.”

           Reynard glanced sharply at her and then adopted a distant frown. The Duke stared, apparently speechless for once; she looked back at him impassively until he said, “You spend far too much time with that sorceress; you’re acquiring a certain similarity of expression. Have you noticed it, Reynard?”

           “No,” the knight said stiffly.

           “Anyway,” Gascon continued, “I know all that, obviously, and, well, I’ll be honest: it does feel strangely isolated, out here by myself, after we all spent so much time together before; the two of you have each other, perhaps as a result you don’t feel the same - although don’t get me wrong, I’m very happy for you both; no two people that I know suit each other better - but you’re right, it’s not as if I couldn’t make it to the capitol more often; it’s less simple for you to both drop everything and come all the way here, unless it’s with a good excuse like the tournament. I knew it’d work a charm.”

           He ran out of breath on his final, slightly triumphant phrase and stopped; Reynard looked thoughtfully from Gascon to Meve, whose victorious smile had quickly faded to a stunned, slightly hurt stare.

           “Perhaps,” he said carefully, “You might have said something about this earlier, instead of delaying and inventing plots, or been less cagey about it all week - in short, you could, generally, have handled this better, but,” he continued, a little louder as Meve opened her mouth to interrupt him, “We’ve all benefited, I think, from this - diversion, one way or another, so no lasting harm done.”

           Meve mumbled something under her breath, frowning.

           “The next time that you want to get together, however, you might find it convenient to just ask us, without any schemes to bring it about.”

           “Yes, of course,” Gascon said, “You’re right. Should I apologize?”

           “Not to me.”

           Meve shook her head at him, but Gascon said, “I’m sorry, Meve. How do people usually apologize, at court? Flowers? A card? Or I could let Sir Reynard knock me off a horse, like he will Sir Holt?”

           “No,” she said, “I can knock you off horses myself perfectly well.”

           “I await your summons, then,” he said, venturing a hopeful grin, “Or I could send a fruit basket; we will soon be well-supplied with apples -”

           “Look,” she said, finally cracking an amused smile despite herself, “It’s fine; I forgive you. Just - just don’t be such an ass, next time.”

           “I will never be an ass again,” he announced, mouthed thank you to Reynard, bowed gallantly, and then prudently departed. Meve stared at the spot on the floor where he’d been standing for a long moment, then sighed, cracked her aching neck and sat in Reynard’s lap, frowning.

           “That man is a disaster,” she remarked.

           “Do you want me to fight him, too?” he asked; she ran her fingers through his hair and said, fondly, “No, thank you. I don’t think a knock on the head will be of much use, here; Gascon will have to sort himself out some other way, I’m afraid. If he can.”

           “And what about you?”

           “Me? Well, I’m all right, I suppose.”

           Reynard looked up at her, frowning doubtfully.

           “Really,” she claimed. “Gascon does have one thing right; having you around makes the more difficult days easier to get through.”

           He looked less dubious; she grinned, kissed him, and added, “Although th’ effect might be in part a result of that hit I took in the melee; a knock on the head can solve one’s problems every so often, though not quite so often as it causes them.”

           “A good thing your head is so hard, then,” he noted with a smile.

[kristiemewisstan]

Did Arod retire from the national team or just stop getting called up cuz like she’s still really good and my immense confusion as to why she’s not on the national team anymore needs an answer lol

When she was out pregnant with Luke and after having him in 2016 she never really made it back. I think it’s just really stiff competition within the forwards on the team because of the talent level. Don’t get me wrong, I would be one of the first people to say she deserves to be on the team, but Jill just never really called her up again for a major tourney. Then in 2017 she tore her ACL during club season and worked her way back in 2018 for some friendlies and TON but didn’t get playing time. She never officially retired so she is still available for a call up in the future. We will see what Vlatko will do after this tournament.

[unofficialkfamtranscripts]

King Falls AM - Episode Four: Wolves Gone Wild

View in Google Docs

Summary: June 15, 2015 - With Sammy & Ben in contention over a forced apology regarding the Bass Tournament, a full moon causes all hell to break loose on the outskirts of King Falls.

[Podcast intro music]

[KFAM rock intro music]

Ben Top of the hour here on King Falls AM, that’s 660 on the AM dial. And we’re live here on this crisp, King Falls evening. It’s a full moon, and you know what that means, so be careful out there. It’s four AM, on the dot, and as per instructed by Merv, the station manager, who we will be—

Sammy [agitated] You’re really gonna play that.

Ben [sarcastically] Oh look who’s talking again, everybody! Sammy Stevens, ladies and gents.

Sammy Very funny, Ben. You know, we’ve played this apology enough. let’s just get back on track, how ‘bout it?

Ben Gotta do it.

[radio static as recording begins]

Sammy Hello, this is Sammy Stevens and I’m sitting here with Ben Arnold, your co-host of King Falls AM.

[record scratch]

Sammy No! We aren’t doing this, Ben.

Ben Sammy! I’m gonna have to file a report if we don’t play this apology at the top of every hour.

Sammy Write it up!

Ben I don’t want to!

Sammy Then don’t.

Ben Sammy— can we talk about this? Folks, uh, we’re just gonna take a quick break for—

Sammy No break, no apology, you wanna play that tape?

Ben No, but we have to!

Sammy Fine. You know what? We’ll do this one live, kids, and *angry laugh/huff* boy are you in for a treat.

Ben I don’t know, I—

Sammy [mildly outraged] So there’s a note, on the board, when we came in. We’re to record an apology to you, the dear listeners and residents of King Falls—

Ben Merv simply asked that we apologize for… creating a controversy at the 55th annual—

Sammy We talk about the news here. Relevant subjects that affect this town. What we don’t do- *angry laughing* What we would never do, is apologize for trying to cover a breaking news story! A dead body at a public event that King Falls AM is covering is News.

Ben Maybe Mayor Grisham went a little overboard kicking us out- I’m not saying he didn’t, but—

Sammy [outrage continues] If I owned this station! If I owned the station? I’d go after him. I mean, why isn’t Merv mad at Grisham. Why is this on us? [softer] Have you even met Merv, Ben?

Ben Yes— I mean… not in person, but— Look, we have a show to keep on track: in a few minutes we’ll be speaking with both of the winners of the 55th annual Bass Tournament—

Sammy How ‘bout this. How ‘bout we open up the phone lines and talk about how the good Mayor Grisham is strongarming the media—

[static]

Announcer This Sunday evening, at 7PM, we say goodbye to longtime host of King Falls Sewing Corner, Esther Rollens, the way she would’ve wanted us to.

Esther [old, wavering voice] Talkin’ about life, talkin’ about love, and crochetin’ a mean doily while we’re at it!

Announcer While we will all miss Esther’s sweet stitchery tips and needlepoint mastery, we’ll miss Esther even more.

Esther We’ll darn your socks, and maybe even darn your men to heck, while we’re at it.

Announcer We’ll reminisce and play clips from Sewing Corner’s illustrious twenty-four year run. As well as a live music tribute from Esther’s favourite band.

[heavy metal music] ♪WAKE UP. YOU’LL SEE.♪

Esther Ohh, I just love these boys! All possible states. [heavy metal music fades out] Always remember: bad times never last. But badasses certainly do! We’ll see you soon, King Falls!

Announcer Hopefully not too soon, Esther. 7PM, this Sunday. Help us say goodbye to King Falls’ most bitchin’ granny.

[heavy metal music resumes] ♪*SCREAMING* I WILL NEVER REESST. UNTIL I WALK IN THE SUNSET. BURN ME UP IN FLAAMES.♪

[heavy metal fades out]

Ben I didn’t cut you off, Sammy!

Sammy Real mature, Ben.

Ben You were looking right at me, I didn’t even touch the board! And you know Esther Rollens was slated for 4:32 AM! I’d never.

Sammy [sarcastically] Oh, oh, okay, it must’ve been General Abilene, right?

Ben You know he’s in Sweetzer Fore- Sheesh. Can’t you just take some calls? You’re killing me. Line 6!

Cecil Sheffield [Cecil’s voice is old and slurred] Benjamin Arnold! Mr. Sheffield here! Why’re you on- the radio?

Ben [muttered] Crap. Bass Tournament winners were scheduled for two minutes ago. I-I’m gonna call the other—

Sammy Oh! So we can talk about the tournament, we just can’t talk about the dead body.

Ben Sammy.

Sammy Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Mr. Cecil Sheffield to the show, uh, co-winner of the 55th annual King Falls Bass Tourney.

Ben It’s great to have you. Mr. Sheffield.

Cecil It’ss good to be taalkin’ to you fellas too! Benn, how’re yer grades holdin’ up this year?

Ben Uhh, I- *confused laugh* I- I graduated uh- already. Sev-several years ago—

Cecil No more late papers thiss semester, Mr. Arrnold.

Sammy Yeah, Ben! No more late papers!

Ben *deep breath* For those of you who don’t know: Mr. Sheffield was my history teacher at King Falls High School. [embarrassed and tense] Shouldn’t he be retired by now?

Cecil [singing] ♫Riiiiiising miidst the goooolden orrrange, graaandly iiin tooo th— bluuuee, reeeeeaches our dear aaaaalma maater—♫

Sammy *clapping sarcastically* There ya have it folks! Mr. Cecil Sheffield, winner of this year’s King Falls Idol.

Cecil Go Faaallls! I rreally lovve talkin’ t’ you guuys.

Ben [awkwardly] And we… love talking to you.

Sammy How ‘bout we talk about the big win at the tournament, huh? You split the grand prize, $500 and a bass boat, is that correct?

Cecil Ohh it was awwesome. Staandin’ up there at the podium with ma’ good friend Herrschel! I’m happy t’ shaare the prriize wi’ such a great man! I haven’ gotten a channce to uuse the new booat- uhh… yet—

Ben Aaand, we’ve got Herschel Baumgartner!

Sammy Sorry to cut you off, Cecil. Herschel, you’re live on King Fal-

Herschel [angry as always] You usurpin’, unsportsmanlike, son of a b[bleep]h filth! I know all you were colludin’ against me this year. It’s a conspiracy!

Sammy I’m sorry, what now, Mr. Baumgartner?

Herschel You know exactly what I’m talkin’ about, Big City.

Ben We actually don’t, Mr. Baumgartner.

Herschel Don’t mouth off to me, you conspirin’ little bag of d[bleep]ks!

Sammy Hey! Hey, hey, Herschel! No one is conspiring against anybody here! You should be happy right now, this is what, your fourth time winning the tournament? Granted, let’s be honest, a cadaver should probably give this one an asterisk.

Ben [eagerly] 1989,1992, and now back-to-back titles in 2014 and 2015. You’re the first ever to have four titles!

Herschel [hesitantly] W-wellll, when you put it like that, I guess. I never thought o’ it that way. I was just so red-faced about someone pokin’ a hole in the bottom of my boat right after I caught my last fish. Old Cecil wouldn’t’ve come close if some boobstain hadn’t’a messed with my damn boat!

Ben Kingsie got ya!

Herschel [mocking] It wasn’t Kingsie; that serpenty little b[bleep]h!

Cecil Iss that Herrschel? Hooww ya doin’ buddy? I’miss ya. Why dontcha answer when I calll?

Herschel [back to angry] Cecil! You cheatin’ dog pecker! I’d know-what-it was you who sunk my battleship! You couldn’t stand to have me win all by myself this year you limp-d[bleep]ked drunkard!

Ben Ooh-[worried]Haah! We’re gonna have to ask you. to watch your language. Mr. Baumgartner.

Herschel Now you listen here, you motherf[bleep]—

[dial tone]

Sammy Hello?

Ben Sorry Sammy. Merv’s already not happy, let’s not have the FCC[1]join him?

Sammy You know, you’re gettin’ real good with that dump button trigger finger tonight, Ben.

Ben I told you I didn’t dump you! Herschel, yes, but not you.

Sammy Y- *huff/laugh* You were so right about this full moon tonight, Ben.

Ben [mumbled] This is a nightmare.

Sammy [seriously] Hey. I’m sorry. Okay? I shouldn’t have gotten so fired up.

Ben You and Herschel both- You know how hard I work on this schedule? Don’t… puppy dog eye me, Sammy.

Sammy Hey, I’m just tryin’ to ice this apology cake, buddy.

Ben … 6:20, you buy me a stack of pancakes, at Rose’s Diner, and… we’ll call it even.

Sammy Sounds like a plan. So you’ve heard our story King Falls, now let’s hear—

Ben Good grief, we’ve got line 2, he’s in a panic.

Sammy Aren’t we all? You’re on the air with Sammy and Ben, what can we—

Line 2 [overly dramatic] No time for pleasantries- I need the law!

[small dogs barking in bg throughout call]

Ben Sir, uh, 911 is probably your best bet.

Sammy Or maybe tweet Troy and hashtag “KingFalls911” [half-muttered] I dunno.

Line 2 You silly Sallys. I’ve already called, the deputy is on the way. But I’m havin’ a terrible night, and I don’t appreciate the two of you makin’ it worse!

Ben Wait, is this- Archie Simmons?

Archie [sing-song] The one and onlyy.

Ben Is there something wrong out at the Pomchi Palace?

Sammy Pomchi? What the hell is a “pomchi”?

Archie Oh my gawd, read a book Sammy.

Ben It’s a dog— breed, half pomeranian, half chihuahua.

Sammy Oh! So Archie’s a professional dog breeder.

Archie Best bitches in the tri-state area!

Ben [flatly] That’s their motto.

Archie [softly aside, cooing] That’s a good baby, Daddy loves you! What’s that? That angry, mean werewolf violated you? Don’t you worry, Daddy will make. him. pay.

Sammy Did he just say “werewolf?”

Archie You betchyer bottom dollar I did!

Sammy Ben, I- I can’t.

Ben T-tell us what’s going on, Archie.

Archie Well, I live offa Route-72, damn near out of town. It’s usually nice and quiet [muttering](except for those damn trashy rednecks in their trailer park every damn Saturday night!)

Ben Buuut, tonight, it’s not nice and quiet?

Archie Hell no! I woke up to the most godawful squawlin’. I mean it sounded like a freight train hit a barrel a’ screamin’ billygoats. Half a step below a damn eight f[bleep] bottle rocket.

Ben That is vivid!

Sammy [being a smart-aleck] Dare I say, was it a half-man, half-wolf?

Ben [unimpressed] Good job, Sammy.

Sammy [quietly] Please don’t encourage this.

Archie It was so terrible a noise, I thought I might’a dreamed it. But then I heard it again!

Sammy Go on.

Archie So I threw on my slippers, and I went runnin’ towards the back of the house— an’ I’m scared, because I just paid— well, I paid a bundle for a couple’a these new pomchi bitches? So I’m worried that maybe Rufus (that’s my labradoodle)—

Sammy Labradoodl—?

Ben [quickly] Labrador-poodle mix.

Archie Damnit, Google it fellas and keep up. I’m worried that Rufus is maybe snuck in the backyard and roughed up the new pomchis? So I rushed toward the back and Rufus is in the Florida Room— just a-growlin’ mind you— so it wasn’t him. So I burst open the back door, and what do I see??

Ben What-ahh… wh-wh-what did you see?

Archie [increasingly distressed I see a half-man, half-dog, bent over hunchin’ the hell out of my twenty-four-hundred-dollar Princess Von Barktooth!

Ben Not Princess Von Barktooth!

Sammy Okay, so you run outside in your slippers, and you see some skeezy pervert, and he’s got your dog—

Archie In the biblical sense! But the maaan was A. Werewolf.

Sammy Are we really talkin’ about wolf-man werewolves, here? *laughs* I’m sorry Ben—

Archie You shouldn’ be sorryin’ to Beeen! He’s not the one who’s been sodomized by a damn man-wolf! And now I gotta stay up all night watchin’ the princess and dealin’ with the law! Lord knows I’m worried that this leads to long term emotional distress, or, worse. [distraught] An’ we can just throw out winnin’ the Westminster trophy!![2] That was not in our five year plAN!!!

Ben I have to. What- Was the five year plan?

Archie [soft and rushed] Princess Von Barktooth was supposed to fall in love with another purebred pomchi, who sweeps her off her feet, holds open all the doggy doors for her, shares all his treats. *giggles* [to the dog] Isn’t that right lil princess?

Sammy [derisively] This is just silly. I mean it was obviously just a creep with serious issues, not a mythical—

Archie Are you callin’ me a liar? I saw that abomination with my own two baby blues.

Ben S-Sammy likes to look at these paranormal events from all angles, Archie.

Archie Well the angle that I saw it at was a G-D crime against humanity and dogmanity alike! The beast man looked at me, evil in his eyes, and desire in his heart, tossed my princess like a ragdoll, howled at the moon like the wretched demon that he is and scampered off!!

Ben Ar-Archie have- have you had issues with the werewolves before?

Archie Oh-my-gosh, who hasn’t? Ol’ Dylan hillbilly Baxter used to pepper buckshot those chicken-thievin’ shapeshiftin’ sons-of-bitches!

Sammy Brass tacks[3] here; Is Princess Von Barktooth okay?

Archie Needless to saayy, we are more than a bit shaken by this turn of events.

Sammy Have you looked into silver bullets? eBay? Amazon Prime?

Archie You come out here the next full moon you sassy Sally and I’ll show you more werewolves than you can shake a d[bleep]k at… Aw, I just heard Deputy Troy pull up, I gotta go, boys. [click]

[dial tone]

Ben Th-thanks for letting all of us know that there’s been some activity on the wolf front, Archie.

Sam This is just too much. Look, stay safe, Archie, listening public. I’m not saying that there’s werewolves on the loose—

Ben There are.

Sammy *laugh/huff* Ben. Everyone stay safe. There’s definitely something in the air tonight.

Ben Oh no. Sammy *heavy breath* Can you take Line One?

Sammy Do I even want to ask?

Finn [panicked] Sammy?! Ben?! It’s bad! It’s real bad, y’ know?!

Sammy Are you alright, Finn?

Finn [still strained and panicked] I-I didn’t.. even see him comin’! Musta run head-long through the truck on my blind side!

Sammy Who did? What’s going on?

Ben Finn hit a dog, off Route 72.

Sammy You’re f[bleep]king kidding.

Finn [distraught, almost crying] This poor little guy! I feel so bad, y’know? [less scared, more nervous] Actually. He’s not that little.

Ben Finn, are you still in your truck?

Finn Oh yeah, but I stopped it when I hit the fella… I’ma shakin’ somethin’ awful here.

Sammy [“not” worried] I think you should start the truck up, and just keep on movin’.

Finn … I think he’s still alive! I’m goin’ out to do the right thing an’ check this out, Sammy.

Ben Sammy’s right. Keep—

Finn I’m outside the truck! Headin’ back towards the pooch!

Sammy Get back in the truck, Finn! [quietly aside] Uh, you know, because it could be a- a coyote or something, n-not a were- you know.

Finn Oh my. This poor fella don’t look too good. This looks— Whoa now!

Ben Move your maple lovin’ ass, Finn!

Finn It’s two-leg runnin’ at me boys! What the f[bleep]k!

Sammy Finn? Finn?!

[sounds of a struggle, garbled words, then howling]

[KFAM outro]

[CREDITS]

References

[1] FCC - The Federal Communications Commission is an independent agency of the United States government that regulates communications by radio, television, wire, satellite, and cable across the United States.

[2] Westminster trophy - The Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show is an all-breed conformation show that has been hosted in New York City annually since 1877.

[3] Brass tacks - n. details of immediate practical importance —usually used in the phrase “get down to brass tacks”

[thornfield13713]

can you describe your 3 affairs of the court characters? I've finished part 1 and I'd like to see how your choices are different or the same as mine

Okay!

So, I’m going to start with Don Diego de Rivera, because he’s the least developed of my characters, mostly because I only really played him through the first game because he ran off with Gabriel de Mendosa instead of pursuing the Monarch. Diego was a fairly textbook rebellious-princess type. He liked magic and magical combat, he had a great deal of personal charm, if little academic skill, and he wasn’t especially ambitious either. At least, not where marriage was concerned - he had his share of ambitions about proving himself as a magical warrior. Diego ended up going to the tourney with the king with the specific intention of showing how talented he is, and in the hope of winning a commission. Along the way, he was charmed by King Agustin, but lost interest pretty quickly after it became clear that there was no prospect of his being able to pursue any of his own ambitions as the King’s lover. Thus, he ended up running away with Gabriel de Mendosa, defying and abandoning his family in the process.

Violeta de Castillo is probably next on the list in terms of how developed she is. Violeta is, as the name would imply, a bit of a shrinking violet. She’s a romantic, and also a timid young woman brought up to understand how grateful to her betters she should be for giving her a chance at court. She’s also a very well-read scholar with a talent for manipulation that is largely a result of having been brought up to believe she had no real right to ask anyone for anything directly. She’s also plain, shy and lacking in social graces. She’s swept off her feet by the monarch, and ends up snubbing the much safer Carlos Torres due to her excessively romantic view of Agustin. She was never ruthless enough to get her rival Queen Ines out of the way, and thus settled into the position of being the King’s mistress. This was not great for her personal development. As Queen Consort, Violeta might have felt it her duty to take a greater political role. As the King’s mistress, his Grey Mouse, she felt that to take an active part in politics would be to exceed her place and risk her position. Thus, she ended up quite depressingly passive - due to her reluctance to get involved in politics, she was unable to push for the betrothal for Juanita she wanted, was not ruthless enough to secure a Life Mage child, and only barely managed to put an end to the King’s affair with young Adelita de Delgado. Violeta only really comes into her own in the third game, when she is confronted with the fact that, yes, she is a capable political actor in her own right who has been hiding her light under a bushel and wasting her talents by staying out of politics. That this discovery coincides with the beginning of her affair with Luis de Vega isn’t a coincidence - she finally has the support to bolster her until she can develop confidence on her own, without any attempt to manipulate her one way or another. After this, she starts acting more decisively, first to save as many of the falsely-accused cooks from Agustin’s rage as she can, and then to prove Tomas de Reyes’ conspiracy to Agustin. Unfortunately, it becomes quite clear that Agustin was unstable and homicidal long before Tomas entered the picture, and Violeta resorts to poison. And succeeds. Unfortunately, this puts her in a rather tense position - Juanita is still out there, and is the legitimate heir, as Violeta’s two sons are a) bastards and b) Death Mages, making them ineligible for the throne twice over. Thus, Violeta sees the writing on the wall and retires to the countryside with her sons, where she is then joined by her lover, Luis de Vega. They live there happily for about the next decade, until Queen Juana, on her deathbed, calls for their return to court, as she is childless and this makes her bastard half-brother Ricardo the heir to the Iberian throne, with Violeta stepping into the role of being his chief advisor.

Catalina de Flores breaks both of these patterns. She’s the unapologetically ambitious, conniving, ruthless one here, but there’s a lot more going on under the surface. Catalina is well-read and well-educated and very charming indeed, with basically no talent for magic. She comes to Court looking to make a name for herself and influence important decisions. And then she falls in love with Gabriela de Mendosa and, for a while, contemplates the idea of running away with her and throwing everything away for love. But she can’t. Her family are depending on her, and she has ambitions of her own. So she sends Gabriela away, and connives her way to the throne. She tries to get King Consort Esteban put aside, and succeeds in getting him executed for adultery, and rises to become Queen Consort herself. And then a few years later she has a Death Mage son, and immediately decides that she absolutely needs to ensure a Life Mage heir if she wants to keep her head. She ends up assassinating her brother-in-law to secure this, devastating her sister and niece. This is one of the few crimes she’s committed that Catalina actually feels remorse for - she does genuinely love her sister, and if she’d known how much Magdalena loved her husband, she’d never have agreed to it - and the other crime she actually regrets is trying to get her stepdaughter Juanita disinherited, and succeeding in getting her executed. She really should have known better, given the fate of Juanita’s father, but she assumed that Agustina wouldn’t murder her own child, even if she was certain that no such protection would extend to the child’s other parent. Still, her position is secure. Her second son Antonio is born a Life Mage, and unchallenged heir to the throne. Her rivals are all dead. And then Gabriela de Mendosa comes back and she gets into a lot more trouble. She backs Gabriela’s innovation with the Death Rods, and thus earns the enmity of her former ally Luis de Vega. And, not long later, she begins a discreet affair with Gabriela. She saves the cooks by passing the blame to the court physician, sets Agustina on the vengeful Aguilar family, and has Tomas de Reyes assassinated by using one of his former pawns against him. Finally, though, she and Gabriela form an alliance, launch a revolt of commoners using Death Rods, and Catalina takes the throne as Lady Regent for her son Antonio, signing the first Great Charter of rights to begin her reign.

[too-much-jonerys]

Discussion and Story Time: What is your Jonerys/GoT backstory?

When, how and why did you get into the fandom and ship?

This is mine. Please allow for my essay to commence:

Intro to Game of Thrones

I first learned about GoT in 2010. I didn't know anything about the story other than it seemed like my kind of thing (medieval, accents, murder, etc.). Oddly enough, my interest started when I was doing fancasts for The Hunger Games on a message board. I thought Isaac was a girl when I saw the pic of him with an bow and said, "She'd be a decent Katniss". Realized that "Actually, no... but who is that dark-haired beauty next to him? Gale?" It was Kit. Kit HarRington back then because IMDb and everywhere was misspelling his name. Only three pictures of Kit existed on the internet at that time, but I remembered thinking "He looks a little small for Gale, but I'd tap it for sure."

Side Note: This was also back when Tamzin Merchant, whom I recognized from Pride & Prejudice, was listed as Daenerys.

But at the time I didn't have HBO, so I kind of put it out of my mind.

Fast forward to April/May 2011, I was working on The Hunger Games movie in NC and was staying in a hotel one night. Game of Thrones came on and I was like "Hell yeah! It's that show with that guy!" First episode I saw was the tourney where the Mountain beheaded his horse. I was like "Wha... WHAT THE FUCK AM I WATCHING?!" and continued watching. It only showed up to episode 8 that night, but it stuck with me. Still, I didn't pick it back up again later until that summer, SDCC 2011.

Intro to Jonerys

So, SDCC 2011 was a major turning point. I was following SDCC that year coverage in hopes of more THG stuff and GoT popped up. I was like "There it is again!" It just kept coming back and pulling me in. If you remember that was its first SDCC appearance and Kit, Emilia, Lena, Peter, Nikolaj, Jason, etc. were there.

I was thrist-watching interviews with Kit which at the time always coincided with Emilia's interviews. So, while I was learning all about my new boo thang, I was getting introduced to the adorable little bean that is Emilia Clarke. For what little info there was about Kit, amplify that secrecy by 20 for Emilia.

Does anyone remember when no one knew when her birthday was or how old she was? May or April, 1st or 7th or 28th, 1986 or 87 or 90. No one knew for an oddly long time. We were all ass wrong btw.

Side Note: Word of the IMDb boards was that Kit was there with his dark-haired girlfriend. I admittedly initially thought that was Emilia. It wasn't. It was Heather (? Hannah? Something with an H).

Anyway, their interactions were absolutely adorable. So much so that I hadn't realized that their characters didn't know each other. I hadn't seen the full season by then so I didn't know if they met in the last two eps. I just knew that their actors were absolutely beautiful and really cute together. So I peaked around the interwebz:

"Do they fuck," I asked with sophistication and class.

It was a bit of a question mark back then, but the general concensus was "No." Then I asked the real, pivotal question:

"Do their characters fuck?"

And with that question, I was led into the abyss that was Jonerys (simply Jon x Daenerys then). To call it a rabbit hole is an understatement. This was a black hole. A void. I fell into nearly 20 years of theories, backstories, book quotes, prophecies, R+L=J, Targcest. It was the wildest ride ever, and I emerged from the other side bald and foaming at the mouth. But, all I knew was that I was all in. These ice and fire assholes were going to be in love and by George(R. R. Martin) everyone was going to hear about it from me.

Just imagine me knocking on your door with a pamphlet asking "Do you have time to talk about our Azor Ahai, Jonerys?" I was hooked. I skipped classes to read/watch GoT. I read all the books. All the Wiki pages and message boards. Got my mom invested in it so much so that we bought HBO solely for GoT season 2. I came on here yelling about my love of it and made some friends that way. One of my buddies and I spent years trying to make our Jonerys ship name "SnowStorm" happen on Tumblr. So I was very pleased when it took off after all that time. The ship was more than pretty actors to me. It actually made perfect literary sense in its own.

I helped fight off the naysayers and haters (which were mostly Stannis fanboys then). I watched fan videos and scraped up whatever little morsels of good ship content were given. All while being told "That pairing ain't gonna happen. You guys are all just crazy. They won't even meet." All while knowing that someday, somehow this damned ship of mine would feed me, and I would feast in abundance (and drink the haters' tears).

So, seeing how mainstream and CANON it is now is just so gratifying. I don't fight the haters anymore, because I'm retired. I spend my days drinking up boatsex, dreaming of Targ babies and remembering back when all of that was simply written off as the far-fetched nonsense of "crazy fangirls."

*Eliza Hamilton voice* "Look at where we are. Look at where we started."