#And how I am so glad I decided to make five of them instead of three

[pukicho]

I know they came out like a whole month ago but have you played or watched the new chapters of deltarune? 3 and 4 I mean.

I played Act 1 of Deltarune when the demo released five years ago and to be honest, I didn't really like it. It felt juvenile to me, it lacked the balance and mood and confidence that Undertale had in its writing. Even the music felt less confident to my ears. To be even more cynical, it simply felt superfluous, especially because Undertale already existed.

Mind you, I played Undertale the day it came out, so I've been a fan for a long time - I even made some shitty Undertale remixes back in the day - but I guess I thought I had simply outgrown Toby's writing style and humor by the time Deltarune came out, and merely accepted that I was not going to engage with it any further.

Despite a feeling of melancholy, I was still glad to see Toby making games for people to enjoy, but I was out.

Anyways, I decided to play Chapters 2, 3, and 4 a month ago out of boredom, and it turns out, I was WRONG. ABOUT THE WHOLE THING.

I genuinely believe that if he manages to stick the landing for the remaining 3 chapters this will become my single-favorite story ever told in a video game. Perhaps that seems a bit extreme, but it isn't. This game really is a roided-out version of Undertale. Stronger in every way, Improved across the board, and boy, that Toby, he's still got it.

I don't know how he manages to imbue his characters with so much LIFE - they're so tangible and earnestly-written - Susie especially, what a good character. Usually, I struggle to endear myself AT ALL to the characters in a story, even really well-written ones - because I'm a sack of shit - but somehow, here I am caring about Toby's purple dinosaur and goat.

I want to talk about the instanced-dialogue system in Deltarune: It's really fucking impressive. Apart from the dialogue itself being extremely well-realized in chapters 2-3-4, It's staggering how many variations on a given-scene there are based on small, seemingly-innocuous decisions made by the player during a given playthrough. I guarantee you, new bits of dialogue will be discovered years down the line that are only triggered by super specific criteria, because toby is just like that.

Every section of the game feels rife with hidden interaction. It gives the game a very mysterious element that only doubles in mysteriousness as you delve deeper into Deltarune's hidden nooks and crannies. Some secrets in Deltarune are so abstract that I almost feel like we're hitting Yume Nikki-levels of low fidelity RPG-maker weirdness, and I love that.

The music is also good.

Tobert successfully straddles the line between absurdity and sincerity so confidently in Deltarune that things that SHOULD be cringe-inducing simply end up feeling charming and whimsical instead. The story is good, the characters are good, the deeper themes and secret allusions are much more mature and complex than I had expected them to be, and I am very impressed by the writing in general, and the level of quality it reaches. And of course, the gameplay is just Undertale, so it fucking rocks.

That sly fox did it again.

[miraculouslumination]

Can we please bring back 20 episode seasons again. Please. Can we please NOT make 5-10 episodes a season the new "MAXIMUM". I am not asking by the way despite my usage of please. I am demanding but through gritted teeth, politely.

[afictionalwhor3]

Welcome Home

A/N: Hello all, firstly thank you for all the love you guys have shown to my fics now that they are in a masterlist I greatly appreciate it. I promise I am trying to get more fics out, but with my class schedule it is difficult, but I am doing my best. For now enjoy this Cregan smut I have been manifesting for a hot min. Divider by @dingusfreakhxrrington

Summary: Cregan love language is physical touch and he uses it to show how much he missed you

Warnings: 18+, Minors do not interact, oral (f!receiving), overstimulation

Word Count: 1.6k

Cregan's love language always has and always will be physical touch. When you two are walking through Winterfell, he makes sure your arm is wrapped tightly around his bicep. During his meetings, he likes to have you by his side so he can keep a hand on your leg or hip. Since the night you were married, he has insisted that the two of you share a bed where each and every night he tucks you into his side and uses his body to keep you warm through the long Winterfell nights.

Winter has just broken in the North, and despite the warmer seasons coming it was still chronically cold. Northerners this time of year opted for their lighter leathers and pelts. Since the weather finally broke, a group of men including your Lord Husband, left to hunt. It has been five nights since Cregan left, and you sighed as you read the latest edition to your extensive collection by the fire. The moon hung high in the sky as a light fire warmed your and Cregan's chambers. A yawn took over your body as you stood up to stretch your limbs. You decided it was time to venture into the comfortable confines of your bed, so you marked your page and placed it on the small table next to the sofa. You preceded to take your robe off, but before you could do so a knock was heard at your door.

You quickly pulled your robe over your shoulders and tied it up. You walked over to the door reasonably confused about who could need you this late into the night. "You may come in" You call out watching suspiciously as the door opens slowly and Cregan's frame comes into view. A large smile brightens your features as you barely let him enter the door before you practically jump into his arms. You wrap your arms around his neck while also burying your head where his neck meets his shoulder. You breathe him in despite the days since his last bath, the natural musk and woodsy smell was so uniquely Cregan and pleasantly familiar. Cregan wraps his arms around your waist holding you equally as tight as he puts his forehead on yours.

"Hello, my sweet wife," He whispers his voice husky probably due to the days of being in the woods. He presses a chaste kiss to your lips and you watch as a small smile takes over his handsome features. You laugh softly taking your hands and running them across his back and chest checking for any injuries,

"Are you hurt? You weren't supposed to return until the morrow?" You say happily confused about your husband's presence, but also equally concerned something could be wrong. He grabs your hands stopping you in your tracks. He brings each to his mouth laying kisses on both as he looks at you holding your hands in his,

"With winter being over, the men wanted to get back to their families. They were tired and wished to return home. I would have waited until the dawn when it was safer, but they insisted so here I am" He says pressing a kiss to both wrists "And now that I'm back I am glad for the push. I have missed you greatly Y/N" He says and you cannot stop the goofy smile that has been on your face since he walked in. It is your turn to place a kiss against his lips before you pull away to look at him.

"I was just about to get to bed if you would like to join me," You say teasing already knowing the answer. Cregan does not respond, however, and instead opts to pick you up. He easily lifts you off your feet and walks you to your bed, laying you down gently. The plushness of the blankets that greeted you upon your rest soothed your back. You maintained eye contact with Cregan while slowly untying your robe. He bites his lip watching your every move while he himself does his best to take off his pelts, leathers, and small clothes as quickly as possible. In the meantime, you slip the robe from your body and let it find its way to the floor. You start to move the straps of your own small clothes when Cregan stops you pressing his lips to yours in a searing kiss,

"Allow me" He whispers against your lips before kissing down your jaw, to your neck, and then your shoulder where your strap resided. As he slid the straps off you, his lips followed all the skin he touched. He did the same thing to both sides until you lay naked before your husband. Cregan took a deep breath as he took you as if it were the first time all over again, "The gods have truly blessed me," He whispered before pressing a kiss to your navel and then traveling down to your sex. Cregan was a fan of teasing you, loving to see you desperate for a pleasure only he could provide, but tonight he wasted no time attaching his lips to your bud which caused you to moan loudly. Your eyes rolled back to your head as your hands instinctively flew to pull at his brown locks. Cregan looked at you one last time before closing his eyes to enjoy his meal.

Typically you liked to maintain a semblance of your ladyhood by controlling your moans, but tonight your moans of pleasure would be heard throughout the North. Possibly the seven kingdoms if they listened hard enough. You felt your hips grinding against Cregan's face and the way he slid one of his perfect fingers inside of you finding your spot with ease. Yet all you could process was the white-hot pleasure that was shooting from the top of your head to your toes causing them to curl. "Cregan, Husband, I am close. So close oh gods!" You exclaim holding Cregan in place as you get a glimpse of him consumed in eating your sweet cunt and that sends you over the edge. Your back arches and to any unfortunate soul walking past your chambers the sounds were equivalent to that of a pleasure house as you allowed your release to coat Cregan's lips and chin.

You began to come down from your high when you felt Cregan's arms wrap around your hips holding you open for him and if it was possible get deeper in your pussy. To no avail your hands tried to push him away as you shook your head, "Cregan please I can't. So sensitive" You plead with him, but you knew better than to try to stop him when he got like this. All you could do was cling to your sheets as the sounds of him eating your pussy became even more vulgar sounding more akin to a beast who hadn't eaten in days. In a way, you guessed you could describe Cregan that way.

The pleasure was all-consuming as you felt hot tears run down your face. It was all too much, the way Cregan's expert tongue navigated your cunt had you seeing stars. Suddenly you cursed the hot springs that lie underneath Winterfell, for a thin sheen of sweat had begun to stick to your soft skin. Without warning you felt that familiar band in your belly beginning to tighten up and for the second time in as many minutes, you felt yourself close to your peak. "Cregan, please my love. Please don't stop m'close. So close" You whispered while your hips thrashed wildly against his mouth. You were running rapidly towards a release you knew would take over your whole body. And for the first time since he began Cregan opened his eyes to take in your utterly blissed-out state. The frizziness of your hair, the heaving of your chest, and the sweat that gave you a beautiful glow in the moonlight only spurred him on. He slipped two fingers into you and curled them in a way that had your vision going almost black. His tongue continued to perform tricks on your swollen bud and you knew it wouldn't be long now.

"Come for me sweet girl. I got you" He whispers into your heat which sends you falling off the edge of blinding pleasure. It feels as if every nerve in your body is alight while your legs shake desperately in Cregan's hold. Somewhere along the way, everything gets quiet and your vision goes black. When you come to again you slowly open your legs and find Cregan coming back to the bed with a wet rag and gently cleaning you up. You whimper at his touch your body tensing as he shushes you tenderly "I know. I'll be gentle" He says reassuringly. Once you are clean to his satisfaction, Cregan places the rag on the floor along with your pile of clothes. He then gets into your bed finessing you and himself underneath the blankets. The weight of those, combined with Cregan's heavy arm across your middle and his chest against your side has you rapidly losing the battle of sleep. But before you can drift off you manage to get your eyes open enough to look at him and place a hand on his warm cheek. He looks adoringly at you his thumb running soothing across your side as you whisper,

"What about you my love? Do you not wish me to pleasure you as well?" You asked curiously using your free hand to reach down to which Cregan quickly grabbed it kissing your wrist once again,

"Please wife do not worry about me. You are tired and you will need your rest for what I have planned for the morning. Maybe Essos will be able to hear you when I am done," He teases kissing your temple now and releasing your hand. You felt heat rising to your face but in your tiredness, a dopey smile made its way onto your face.

"Well, then I hope Essos is ready for a show. The realm must bear witness to how grateful I am to have my husband back" You say before sleep finally overcomes your worn-out body.

[voxsmistress]

Mama Didn't Raise No Bimbo - Part SEVEN

Two Parts of the story in one day you guys really are lucky!! How is Y/n going to cope when one Vee is flirty, the other manipulative and the other wants to just help her get in a hot steamy shower ...

Trigger warning: a bit of violence

Part One / Part Two / Part Three / Part Four / Part Five / Part Six / Part Seven / Part Eight / Part Nine / Part Ten / Part Eleven / Part Twelve / Part Thirteen / Part Fourteen / Part Fifteen / Part Sixteen

Three heads all explode, one after the other. The only mishap was you were so very close to the splash zone. Groaning to yourself you wipe your cheek with your hand, covered in warm blood you grumble. Gross. Pulling out a pack of tissues from your dropped purse you quickly scrub where you saw had landed but there was no way of getting rid of all of it … biting your lip you decide to carry on walking to the Vee Tower. You did after all have an appointment.

-----

Pushing the door to enter The Vee Tower you ignore the receptionist who tried to make eye contact with you, jabbing the button to the elevator you scrunch your nose up as you notice the blood under your nails. Ew. Gross.

At the ding you climb into the elevator, focused on cleaning your nails and not noticing how the camera moved to focus on you. After a few moments you heard another ding, not paying attention to your surroundings as you noticed you got blood on your boots as well – jeez killing sinners was a messy business - you manage to walk directly into a certain Vee. And not the one you were meant to be meeting. A small squeak escaped your lips as you began to tumble backwards from recoiling however two large, gloved hands grasped your waist pulling you back up firmly against a red coat stopping your fall.

“Woah now Princessa, if you wanted to jump my bones you just had to say”, his mischievous tinted gaze lowered to your own. His mocking smile dropped a little when he registered the state you were in.  

Gripping your chin firmly with his fingers, not letting you move an inch but making sure your gaze  was solely on him: “what has happened?”  That playful tone to his voice was gone but instead was scarily low for him, a snarl lingering under every word. Trying to shake your head but due to his fingers you couldn’t do much, you raise your own hand to try pry his fingers off. Thwarted before you even had a chance to touch him, he clutched both your hands in his other pair holding them down by your waist. This was not fair! Please tell me you didn’t have to use your shriek more than once today?

“Why the fuck do you look like you’ve drowned yourself in blood, the fuck do I have to kill little one?” His mouth was pulled up in a sinister sneer, his gold tooth flashing while his fingers dug into your chin more making you wince.

“It doesn’t matter Valentino, honest” you try to convince the Moth Overlord, the way his fingers squeezed your hips at your answer you just knew he didn’t believe you. But his grip on your chin lessened and allowed you to pull away from it. Scrunching your face you try to ease the little bit of pain.

“It matters Princessa. So again, I ask. Who. Do. I. Have. To. Kill?” At each pause he squeezed either your hands or your waist, not enough to hurt but enough to make you gasp a little bit.

A blue clawed hand appeared in your vision, resting on Valentino’s arm. You both looked to your side to see Vox there with a concerned expression. You’re not sure you’ve ever been so glad to see the TV Demon.

“Now Val, how about you let our little songbird go and we sort this like civilised demons, yes?” A growl from Valentino made you believe he really didn’t want to have a civilised conversation.

“Not until I find out who the fuck has done this to her. Look at the state of her!” Why the hell did he care? He allowed your hands to go free but his two hands stayed locked on your waist.

“Yes, I can see y/n is looking at bit … er … out of sorts but I am sure there is a reasonable explanation as to why, right Y/n?” Nodding in agreement you try to smile convincingly up at Valentino but flinched when you moved your head too fast, the cut on your neck was stinging like a bitch.

“Before we get into all of that, I don’t suppose I could borrow a shower? I’d love to get this crap off me”, you ask motioning at your blood splattered body. Plus, it would give you extra time to think up an explanation on how you ‘killed’ the sinners.  Vox chuckled at your grossed out expression you go to move but couldn’t even make a step away from Valentino as he forced your attention back on him when he waved a gold enamel gun around in front of you both.

“Not before we get names!” He snarled. Seeing how Vox’s method wasn’t exactly working in calming him down you sighed under your breath. Guess it was down to you. Where on earth was Velvette?

Grabbing the waving hand that held the gun you pulled it so it was resting on your waist next to the other one. His tinted gaze now on yours, feeling the tension in his arms you smile softly up at the Overlord. Try to work your charm y/n.

“There’s no need for names, no need for shooting or killing any one as they’re already dead, okay Valentino?” You gently explain, tugging the gun out of his grasp and quickly pulling it behind your back. Cold fingers slipped it from your grasp, spying Vox putting the gun in his jacket pocket you breath a bit easier. The main threat sorted, now to calm the hot head down more.

“They are dead. How?” He demands, glaring at Vox who had taken a seat on one of the sofa’s dotted around Velvette’s studio. Probably grumpy that he had taken his favourite toy away.

“It doesn’t matter how, just know that they are dead”. You place your hands on his that were still on your hips, giving them a squeeze to try and drive your point home.

“It does matter I wan”-

“-Perhaps now that the threat is gone, Velvette can show Y/n where she can shower and get a change of clothes before we start to question her? Hmm?” Giving Valentino your best winning smile, he hums under his breath before nodding after a few moments. You thought you were free until he dragged you close by your hips - so much so that your chest brushed against the fur of his coat. He loomed over you with a flirty expression on his face. Oh dear.

“Are you in such a hurry to leave my arms Y/n? I just know you have been enjoying it, mi cariño, perhaps we can make this a regular thing?” Blushing at feeling a certain part of him that really enjoyed me being pressed up against him a bit too much, you chuckled nervously while pushing yourself away by using both of your hands against his chest. Even if you did which you totally did but wasn’t admitting the last person you would admit that too was the flirty Overlord.  

“Whatever keeps you happy slim, but right now the one thing I am craving more than anything is a hot shower, so if you’ll excuse me”, he finally allows you to escape from his grip. A smug smirk tugged at his lips as he pulled a long cigarette from inside his coat. You could still feel the hot imprints of his hands on your hips.

Vox stopped typing on his phone when he saw you were now free from the clingy Valentino, a charming smile once more on his face as he stands up.

“Now let’s get you cleaned up my dear, you know us Vee’s are known for our perfection, and we can’t have you destroying that reputation for us now, can we?” He joked – or you hoped he was joking but maybe there was a subtle threat under that charming voice – as he showed you back towards the elevator. Pressing the button, it arrives almost immediately. Huh. Weird. Stepping inside you didn’t expect Vox to follow you in. You certainly didn’t expect when the doors shut him to turn to you with a shit-eating grin. Like he knew something that you didn’t. And you really didn’t like that.

“So tell me, how did you kill the sinners, y/n?” The hairs on the back of your neck started to stand up. He knew. Licking your bottom lip nervously you shrugged.

“Ah with a – uh - with a knife” you wanted to look away from him, he was making you more and more nervous but his gaze had you locked in. Dammit!

“Liar” you started to sweat with that one word.  You should have been more careful! You should have checked around you before you used your power. But you didn’t think. You reacted. And now one of the main people you didn’t want to know about your power knew within a week of knowing you. How had you managed to keep it a secret from basically everyone else in Hell and this damn TV Demon found out within days? A blinking from the corner of the elevator made you seethe. He’d warned you. He told you he owned most of the cameras in Pentagram City.

These are the consequences of your own actions come to bite you in the ass.

“Hell’s full of them, what is one more?” you ask, trying to distract him from the conversation. At his unamused look you guessed that didn’t work. “Are you going to show anyone?” biting your lip nervously you could see numerous ideas working through his head, he now had something to hold over your head. What would he ask in exchange for your secret?

“Now y/n do you really think I would show anyone that footage?” His shit-eating grin pissed you off to no end.

“What is it you want in exchange Vox?” You wanted to cut the bullshit and see what the cards had in store for you.

“Your loyalty, to us Vee’s”, he leant against the side of the elevator eyeing you up. Your loyalty?

“My loyalty? What does that entail?”

His grin grew menacingly – his screen glitched red for a second as his eye started to warp again. Pushing yourself back against the other wall you glared up at him, ready to start shrieking again you both were surprised by the door opening and an aggravated Velvette snarling at you both.

“The fuck happened to you?” Thank Lucifer for Velvette! Pushing off against the wall you quickly made your way off the elevator to relative safety. You nearly made it till a cold hand clutched at your wrist as you were fully out of the elevator. Peeking at the TV Demon over your shoulder his expression was much more relaxed than a moment ago, but a mischievous glint danced in his eyes.

“Enjoy your shower, Y/n. We will see you after it, we have much to discuss” he crooned at you. Smirk growing when your gaze narrowed. Yanking your wrist out of his grip you stepped away. Winking as he disappeared when the elevator doors shut you released a nervous breath. Facing the other Overlord who was eyeing you up, displeased with what she was seeing she tutted at you.

“You gotta learn to step away when things go boom babe, blood is not kind to your clothes! Come on, lets get you cleaned up”, she slips her hand into yours pulling you through a living room and into a massive bathroom. Wait … she’s not gonna clean you right?

Tag List:

@tasha-1994  @azullynxx  @reath-solia @leathesimp @klorinda

[scribblesofagoonerr]

Turmoil of events...

This update might be a bit all over the place. I'm still ill, but I had a spark to write, even if it doesn't make much sense at all.

Credit to @alotofpockets for the idea on this update; I am very grateful for her help!

⟫ part 1

After being sick for five days, it became apparent that having the flu was not enjoyable. You spent most of the week confined to your bed, wrapped in blankets, with a noticeable pile of used tissues beside you. You felt cold one moment and hot the next, shivering uncontrollably.

You had been feeling completely miserable. However, the good news was that you were starting to feel better just in time for the training session ahead of the away game against Bristol.

Although, your team's mothers held differing opinions on the matter.

"Maybe you should take a few more days to recover" Beth suggests, shaking her head. "I still don't think this is a good idea" she adds.

"Why? I feel better now" It's not a complete lie. You do feel better, although you're still slightly sniffling and your head is pounding a little bit too much. Overall, you did feel better than previously.

"I just don't think it's a good idea" Beth says, pursing her lips and turns to look at Viv, seeking her input.

The Dutch shakes her head in agreement and adds, "There's no harm in taking extra time to feel better. You don't want to push yourself and make yourself worse" she tells you.

You try your best to resist the urge to inwardly groan at the two of them, "Seriously? Come on. I'll be fine! I have to get back into the squad-- You know that the nations league games are coming up soon so I need to get minutes" You know that it's important to play; you can't be sidelined instead.

"There'll be plenty of chances for that" Viv tells you with a frown, but she can't help but be concerned about how much you've been pushing yourself.

"I can't be sidelined, I need minutes!" You exclaim before you storm off to finish getting ready for training.

"That kid is..." Beth begins to speak.

"Stubborn" Viv finishes the blondes' sentence.

Beth can't help but chuckle slightly, "Well, that's one word for it now, huh?" she jokes.

"If you're talking about Y/N, then she's definitely stubborn," Laura chips in, amusedly, as she appears in the kitchen. "What happened this time?" she wonders.

"Y/N wants to go to training apparently" Beth exhales a sigh and shakes her head. "It's a bad idea" she states.

"It's definitely a bad idea" Laura replies in agreement with the blonde, she knew how stubborn you could be at times.

"Well, hopefully Jonas will realise that's not ready to be playing in the game yet" Viv tells them as she exhales a sigh.

Apparently, Y/N had done an excellent job of persuading Jonas and the coaching staff that she was fit to play. Therefore, it was not surprising when she secured a spot in the starting eleven for the upcoming game.

This game is significant as Viv is set to return to the pitch, being subbed on during the second half.

"Oh dear" Beth mumbles as she shook her head.

Viv exhales a sigh, "This is not good" she states.

"I'm glad to see that Y/N is feeling better. It'll be good to have her in the starting lineup," Steph says as she looks over to where Kyra and Y/N are joking around on the bus.

"Except that she's not better. We told her she should take more time, but you know what Y/N is like..." Beth remarks.

"Stubborn" Steph pipes in, amusedly.

Beth and Viv both nod in agreement with the woman.

Jen furrows her eyebrows, "You mean she's still sick? I can't see this going well then" she confesses.

"It really isn't going to" Beth exhales a sigh.

"We can't get involved though and decide things for her, or she'd be upset with us for that" Viv states knowingly.

"Yeah, you're right there, Viv" Beth replies in agreement with her girlfriend as she looks over at you, realising that she couldn't say anything and sway the decision or it would backfire on her.

"Cheater!" Y/N shouts aloud, glaring at the australian girl sat opposite her. "Stop cheating!" You protest.

"How am I a cheat? You can't even cheat at Uno!" Kyra delcares with a smug smirk on her face.

"Easy there Y/N, it's just a game now" Laura states, amusedly, although she isn't playing, she's joined all of you on the coach to the game to watch it.

"Nah! Kyra's cheating!" You continue to scowl at the girl while crossing your arms.

"How did I?" Kyra's smug look was starting to annoy you even more.

"You know you did-- You looked at my cards!" You break out into a sudden loud cough as you get worked up, shooting further glares at the 21-year-old.

"You want some water for that cough?" Laura wonders, concerned.

"I'm fine!" You shake your head in protest.

"I thought you said you were better--" Kyra's words are cut off.

"I am, I'm totally fine. It's just a tickle!" You protest, shaking your head as you try and avoid coughing again.

The rest of the girls' don't seem so convinced about it as Kyra and you continue to play uno, under the watchful eye of the rest of the girls.

"Kyra! Stop cheating!" You shout aloud, fed up off the girl constantly cheating with the game and trying to look at your cards.

"Less of the bickering now children" Katie chips in as she laughs, shaking her head from where she sits beside Caitlin.

"There's only one actual child here" You remark, continuing to cross your arms and scowl at the Aussie girl in front of you.

"What's going on?" Alessia wonders, glancing at the two of you confused as she sits in front with Vic.

"Kyra is being a massive cheat!" You exclaim aloud, pointing your finger in the girls' direction accusingly.

"Sure, go and tattle. That's real mature of you kid" Kyra states, smirking cockily.

"Says the 21-year-old whos' acting immature" You remark as the girls all watch you and Kyra bicker amusedly.

"You're being dramatic, Y/N. It's just a game now" Kyra states doing everything in her that she can to wind you up.

"KYRA!" You lunge towards the older girl.

"Y/N!" Kyra shouts back.

"Girls, they're fighting again. Might want to sort that out?" Katie jokes glancing between Beth, Viv and Steph as she watches the two of you almost attempt to wrestle with eachother.

"Kyra, cut it out. Stop winding Y/N up" Steph scolds the younger Aussie girl.

"Kyra, stop winding Y/N up" Steph scolds the younger Aussie girl.

"Y/N you need to calm down, it's just a game. Take it easy" Beth scolds, shaking her head. "Viv, would you talk to her? She'll listen to you" she turns to her girlfriend for help.

"Y/N" Viv scolds you with a knowing firm look

"Sorry" Both you and Kyra apologise after being told off like 2 misbehaved kids, at least you had an excuse that you were an actual kid.

"Handled it like a pro there, girls" Katie jokes with them.

"Well, we've got a few years experience, eh?" Beth remarks to the Irish women.

"It's like I'm permanently babystting" Steph huffs and rolls her eyes. "Caitlin, it's your turn next!" she insists to the fellow Aussie, while the rest of the girls just laugh.

At first the warm-up is going successful, you run with the rest of the girls to warm up and try and obtain the energy needed, you're feeling good and motivated about the game.

It's going well until it's not...

You can't help but wobble slightly as there's a light pounding in the back of your head, you just put it down to dehydration instead rather than the after-effects of illness instead.

"You alright, Y/N?" Lia notices you stumble slightly and frowns.

"I... I'm good" You're crouching over slightly as you feel out of breath but you try and play it off like its' nothing instead.

"You're sure?" Lia checks in as she's not too keen to give up on the conversation yet.

"Oh yeah I'm great, I'm totally fine" You insist as you try and push off the terrible feeling that you felt looming; You couldn't afford to miss this game due to illness.

"Y/N..." Lia still doesn't look totally convinced, but she knows better than to try and push you.

"I'm fine, really Lia... Uh huh, yep I'm cool" You nod and quickly run off in the opposite direction to avoid any further questions and concerns.

"Okay, kid. This is it, your time to shine!" Katie's enthusiastic voice comes from behind you in the lineup. "Are you ready for this?" she asks.

You were reluctant to acknowledge that your headache was intensifying. The throbbing sensation in your temple caused you to tightly shut your eyes, and the noise emanating from the crowd only made it worse.

It's worth mentioning that your throat feels somewhat scratchy again. However, you have to play in this game, so you pretend it's nothing and that you're fine.

"I was born ready, let's go!" You cheer and try to be like your usual upbeat self, but never mind how terrible you still feel.

"Let's go girls!" Kim exclaims, leading the team onto the pitch alongside the Bristol team.

As you walk out to the pitch with the rest of your team, you try to keep up the facade of looking happy. You attempt to block out the pounding feeling in your temple, knowing that you only have to make it through 90 minutes before you can finally flop down and fall asleep once again.

As soon as the whistle blows and the game starts, you get your first touch on the ball and begin racing all over the pitch. Despite fighting off the flu, you don't give Bristol a chance to gain possession of the ball.

It all happened too quickly for you to realise what is happening at that moment. The team is 2-1 ahead of Bristol when everything went wrong.

You went to intercept the ball, a simple move that you had done plenty of times. Suddenly, as you got your toe on the ball, ready to pass it in the direction of Alessia, you felt a sudden pop in your knee, followed by a sharp pain that felt excruciating.

"Agh!" You scream as you fall down onto the pitch in agony.

"Y/N!" Beth is the first to crouch beside you, concern spread across her face. "What's happened?" she questions, worriedly.

The sound of the whistle echoes through the stadium as the girls rush to your side to check on you; the noise is suddenly silent as the crowd of fans watches on in despair as Arsenal's wonder kid falls down on the pitch.

"What hurts-- What's happened?" Katie asks, concerningly as she joins you on the other side.

The tears well up in your eyes as you clutch your knee to stop the pain, "My knee... It's my knee!" You exclaim, letting out a sound of whimpering. "I heard it... I heard the pop!" You add.

"It's okay, Y/N. Don't panic; everything is going to be fine" Viv says as she quickly comes to your side. She had been subbed on to replace Alessia, but you couldn't help but feel awful. This was supposed to be Viv's comeback, her return to the pitch after her ACL injury, and instead, you selfishly took the spotlight away from her.

You could see the girls exchanging looks as they signalled for medics. It's at that moment that you realise you have made a grave mistake. Even though nobody spoke, it was clear that the situation was not good.

© scribblesofagoonerr

[theangrycomet-art]

So about your red guys don't die au, I'd love to know more about!!!! It makes me feel happy, first off right before I stumbled upon it I was like "wow I sure wish some makes a tfp au where Cliffjumper doesn't die because he's one of my favorite characters" and then I scroll down some more and see it here! Like how funny is that!

I'm glad people seem to be enjoying it so far! There is not enough justice for Cliffjumper truly. Me throwing in Ironhide is purely bias and I am not above admitting so; i think he's fun and highly underrated.

I'm doodling as ideas come to me as I gradually watch the show with my sibling and seeing where I can fit in my guys, so not a whole lot is set in stone, but I've got some pretty minor tweaks to how the first episode(movie? five-parter?) would go.

Starscream doesn't outright kill Cliffjumper (obvs) instead keeping alive just enough to try and pry information out of him (of course, Starscream is stuck dealing with the mech who claimed a secret coded message from Optimus Prime was the Autobot leader stating that Megatron smelled like Unicron's armpit so brute force was met with very little success)

Most of Cliffjjumper's injuries were acquired during the interogation but what screws him over in the long term is his exposure to Dark Energon. Megatron decides to test out the start of his "new army" (a small legion of revived vehicons) on the battered bot

The Autobots rescue mission was successful but CJ is BAD condition (being cut clean in two is never fun even if you hadn't been through 3 days worth of Starscream) and Ironhide was even able to secure a bit of energon

this resparks the argument between Ratchet and Ironhide on where their limited energon supplly should be focused on: weponry or medicine

If Ironhide had been able to upgrade Cliffjumper's arsenal like he'd wanted he wouldn't have been so easily captured

If Ratchet had been able to keep a supply on hand Cliffjumper they wouldn't have needed to worry about whether they had enough to to properly flush the crud (Dark Energon) out of his systems

Since Ratchet has to focus on treating and stabilizing Cliffjumper, Ironhide is the one to accompany Optimus to the Graveyard and confront the army of the undead (for the record, his plasma blade upgrades worked fantastically thank you very much!)

Preoccupied with CJ in the MedBay, Ratchet hardly registers the chaos until he's brought more injured idiots

the rest of the episode goes about the same, with Cliffjumper stabilized but in stasis for a while to let him rest/recover a bit

Oh! And CJ does get a little buddy of his own down the way, but that's later down the line. (he fights it the entire time too)

(Ironhide, if only to annoy Ratchet, gets along with all the kids. He's the fun uncle who gives them guns when Mom (Optimus) isn't looking.)

[ionlyeverwantedtobeyourequal]

Don’t ever tell yourself that you’re not enough, I am certain that you’re truly fine

Part Fourteen

ot8 x reader

Word Count: 781

Just a warning, this is my first fanfic! It does have age regression themes, so if you’re not a fan, I ask that you respectfully just don’t read it <3 also, this will definitely have some angst

!THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION!

Sorry it took me forever to post! I hope this chapter is okay

It is finally game night, something you’ve been looking forward to all week. Arriving at the dorm, you see chaos break out. Felix and Seungmin in the kitchen, burning whatever they were trying to make. Chris and Changbin in the living room, you’re assuming trying to work on their album while yelling for Han who doesn’t seem to hear them. Hyunjin and Jeongin playing some video game in the living room. And Minho, well you also don’t know where he is. You notice the dorm a mess as well while you stand in the doorway, observing. No one notices you, which makes you realize they all must be stressed in some way. You decide to make your way to the kitchen first, seeming like that’s the best option.

“What are you two trying to do?” You ask, chuckling at the huge mess they both made.

Felix and Seungmin look at each other, then you. “We saw a recipe on TikTok…” Felix says, then looks at the mess around him, “it didn’t go as planned.”

“Oh and instead of how we usually play games or watch movies, we thought we can watch some SKZ code episodes.” Seungmin says to you causally since he knows it wouldn’t be a big deal to you.

As he tells you this, you start helping them clean up the mess they made in the kitchen. “Do yall have any in mind?” You ask curiously.

“Most of us wanted to watch the SKZ family episodes.” Those words out to seungmins mouth causes you to stiffen slightly. Those were your favorite ones, but everytime you watched them, you slipped into littlespace. And you only slipped for one reason, Minho.

You let out a nervous laugh, “did you all agree to those?”

“Pretty much, yeah,” Felix replies this time. “I thought you enjoyed them.”

You put on a smile, trying not to think about the possible outcome. “I do enjoy them, I’m glad yall chose that.”

“I don’t believe you,” Seungmin says.

Before he can say anything else, Minho walks into the kitchen. “What the hell happened to my kitchen?” He says in surprise, his eyes wide as he looks at you, Felix, and Seungmin.

“They did it,” you say quickly, pointing to Felix and Seungmin. “I’m trying to help clean up.”

Minho walks around the counter and grabs your hand, “you are not helping them clean a mess they made.” Minho walks with you to the living room, but says a bit loudly “everyone, wrap up what you all are doing. Me and (y/n) will start the videos without any of you!”

Within five minutes, all nine of you are in the living room. You decide to sit furthest from Minho as possible, knowing if yall are watching the family episodes, you need to try not to think about Minho too much. Minho notices but doesn’t mention it, he stays sitting at the other end of the couch.

When everyone gets comfortable, Jeongin puts on the episode from a few years ago, when it’s just the eight of them. As the video plays, everyone laughs throughout it, making comments. No one notices how everytime “auntie Lina” goes on screen, you become quieter, more focused. You try your best to hold yourself together, to not let your mind slip. But by the time the newest one plays, and you see Minho in a dress, you can’t hold back anymore.

“Eomma!” You say with a giggle and the guys freeze. You look at Minho, and give the most innocent smile, “Eomma is pretty!”

This causes Minho to become flustered and shocked, but he clears his throat knowing he doesn’t want you to think his reaction is for a negative reason. “M-Me?” He stutters, and he mentally slaps himself for it.

“The prettiest!” You tell him when another scene pops up and Jeongin pauses it. The others all look at Minho, but Chris and Han look at Minho with admiration. Seeing Minhos expression of love, you quickly get up and sit next to Minho, wanting to be closer. “Is it okay I call you Eomma?” You ask softly, suddenly feeling self conscious since you only called Minho that in secret when you feel little.

Without another thought, he gently grabs you and places you on his lap, hugging you close to his chest. “I am happy to be your Eomma, my sweet girl.”

After sometime, Jeongin presses play and everyone laughs and makes comments just like before. But now, Minho keeps you in his lap, holding you close and gives you soft kisses on the top of you head, and quiet reminder that he is more than happy to be your “Eomma”.

(If anyone has requests for future chapters or just one-shots, feel free to let me know!)

(Taglist is open)

TAGLIST: @puppyminnnie @galaxy4489 @xxeiraxx @yunhospuppy @pixie0627 @skzlover24 @iiaammllaayy

[witchinatree]

i have posted a LOT about the issues i had with season 4 of TUA but i'm going to say everything i've been thinking right here right now. i cannot get this shit out of my head.

i think a lot of it ties back to the flaws i noticed in season 3, they tried to take on too much and abandoned the previous storylines that were waiting for them (viktor's traumatic relationship with leonard, five's trauma in general, lila's parents dying because of five, DAVE, etc etc) and we were all expecting them to tie it all together in season 4

instead they just.. added more..???? jennifer and abigail were thrown in late season 3 and were just suddenly supposed to be super important to us (they were not.) the subway that takes you to other timelines (objectively cool as fuck, why is this only introduced in the last season of The Timeline Show)

and i'm still really upset that reginald is an alien because it makes no fucking sense. i always assumed he created the mystery 43 babies (why else would he seek them out and already have a plan for them) but the alien route was.. ill-fitting. i think it would've worked better if he fell in love with abigail, who was an alien and created marigold, and then his hubris and curiosity was what unleashed it into the world and doomed the timeline. "sure this mystery chemical destroyed the planet my wife is from but i'm reginald hargreeves so that won't happen to me!" [happens to him] also i wish abigail was not just used as "see! abuser not so bad! abuser have wife! he love wife :]" because. what. and then her weird complaints about reginald in episode 6 that came out of nowhere confused me. they just should've written her entirely different if they were gonna have her at all

AAALSO i hated that they regressed all of the characters back to how they were in season 1 (or worse??). luther was living in the old umbrella academy building because apparently he will never leave it?? after everything?? diego's life was different but he was still doing this weird job shit (discount batman and mail carrier are the same thing) and he was miserable with his loving wife and kids (who ARE you.). allison's husband left her again (what the hell raymond) and she was still the neglectful single mother of claire?? after EVERYTHING I KNOW I ALREADY SAID THAT BUT GOD. klaus actually had something going for him, if only his recovery wasn't made into a joke, and then he relapsed and got kidnapped and was just very.. season 1 klaus.. but with no ghost ben anymore. five.. eugh. he was not season 1 five he was just NotFive. crazy how they had a magnus archives crossover and just brought in NotThem to take five am i right guys. ben's also different because it's not the same ben from season 1 but they just made him really fucking mean. like worse than season 3 because there wasn't that underlying "please i just want to be loved" thing. crypto bro ben was funny as fuck though. and VIKTOR just fucked off by himself after working so hard to be part of the family again. glad he got to transition and become canada's #1 manslut but jesus, just abandoned everything you did to be part of the family huh.

my vision for the ending of TUA would go something like this

ending of season 3, pretty much the same but they all have their powers and reginald's head getting sliced in half did not reveal him to be some alien freak. also at some point abigail would have been introduced. i don't feel like rewriting season 3 too okay i'm cutting corners.

luther finds sloane when he goes back to where the umbrella academy building used to be, but it's now a very lovely apartment that the two of them live in together. they host all of the family gatherings for sentimental and space reasons. i think luther would explore the stripper idea but decide not to follow it because of sloane. sloane would be fine with it but luther would still get worried.

diego and lila live in the same house somewhat nearby. lila's family (they do get to be alive but lila does have to overcome the trauma of losing them while simultaneously getting them back) are their neighbors, it was the compromise they came to because diego wanted their house to be their space but lila wanted her family close. they have three kids who are each loved and names get to be in the fucking show. (looking at you mystery twin. grace and coco (?) didn't really get much attention either). they have a big backyard that the kids all play in together when they're visiting

allison and ray are still together and they have claire (maybe another kid...) they also live somewhat nearby the rest of the umbrella family because i refuse to let them separate. i don't have much to say about them other than RAY DID NOT WALK OUT ON HER.

klaus and dave live in allison and ray's neighborhood. maybe they adopted a kid? maybe they didn't? i think their family would be really cute either way. klaus is still overcoming his addiction and dave supports him through it. it's not made into a joke and actually gives klaus a lot of depth and emotional moments. also just in general dave meeting the rest of the family would be really really sweet

five gets to retire. he lives with viktor in my mind. full circle on viktor being the person who always waited for him and offered him a place to stay after he got home in season 1. five would not actually be getting a retirement pay because he has never had a real job so he's just vik's roommate now. he could have a romance plotline with a woman working at the department store down the street named delores. she looks familiar.

ben lives alone and works at a tech company? honestly i don't know what i would do with him in the pre-plot but it would not be put him in jail?? me personally. i think he would probably move further away than everyone else but stay close enough so he could visit sloane sometimes. he still feels like an outsider but doesn't know how to tell the umbrellas he wants to be their brother now

and viktor lives with sissy harlan and five (previously mentioned). his transition gets to actually be explored (PLEASE.), harlan is in therapy, and sissy is a strong working woman!! again i don't really know what to do with him pre-plot. just know he's the happiest he's ever been!!!

and just in general, a lot of this happiness from all of them comes from their powers and that they can finally be one big happy family together (whether ben likes it or not). setting up the inherent tragedy that comes with perfection

episode 1 opens by showing everything i just explained, the tragedy of getting everything you want or whatever the title was. their powers are still integral to their lives. they're either tied to their careers (luther would probably be like a wrestler or something again, diego could try police work again because i want that to be explored) or other aspects of their existence (allison still finds herself doubting how much of her life is real, klaus' relapses are always caused by his trauma surrounding ghosts, five sometimes space jumps when he wants to be alone [also i think he could feel some sort of shame/guilt because he lives with viktor and can't really contribute much without the commission. not really his fault though because of his insanely fucked timeline], ben uses the squid to carry things or grab things that are far away, and viktor plays the violin to help him remind himself that he is in control of his power now, and he won't end the world again)

the main conflict starts when ben meets a new woman named jennifer and shakes her hand when introducing himself (starting the marigold/durango reaction that builds very slowly throughout the season.) it could be romantic but i think it's just devestating. they're slowly realizing they're losing everything they worked so hard for because of something they can't control

yadda yadda yadda figuring shit out while also having conflicts in their life from the earlier seasons and it culminates in the old umbrella academy building, viktor is the only person who can remove the durango and marigold from ben and jennifer and save the world. he finally gets to be the hero, be the one to stop the end of the world instead of cause it, but he needs to take the marigold from each of the siblings in order to balance the amount of durango jennifer had (no idk why he would let the other like 30 something marigold kids keep theirs i really don't know how to fix that. why would they do this to me)

each of the siblings have to give up part of their lives, part of their identities, and it's hard for them!!! they struggle a lot to agree to do it!!! and it's also harder for them because they don't know if viktor will survive doing this. but he's the only one who can? is his life more important than the existence of everything and everyone? ultimately, they all give up their marigold, and viktor takes all of it and the durango to save everyone. it cancels itself out and stops the cleanse reaction, and i think it would kill viktor (but it doesn't have to). we see that same clip of the 'perfect world' but they get to be in it. they were never the problem. lila and diego play in the park with their kids. allison ray and claire are walking together. klaus and dave are talking on a bench. luther and sloane are carrying a large basket of food. ben and five are helping them set up the picnic. harlan is sitting in the grass with sissy next to him. each of the adults have a small violin tattoo on their wrists. their lives will never be as perfect as they were before, but they can finally just rest and move on. because it was never their fault.

also reginald dies. fuck that guy

[seiya-starsniper]

hello hello i see you're open to prompts 👀

how about #20"I'm just going to lie right here" for dreamling (or any ship you prefer 👀)

happy writing, my dear 💜✨️

HEY SO REMEMBER THIS PROMPT YOU SENT ME FIVE MONTHS AGO??? Apparently it took me getting another prompt to finally come up with an idea for it, so I've gone and combined the two 😄💖 Gentle Prompts Here and Soft Prompts Here (I'll still accept prompts from both because I am a fluff machine)

-------------

Hob knows something is wrong as soon as his roommate enters their shared apartment and slams the door behind him.

“Morph? You all right?” Hob calls out, pausing his movie and turning to the entryway where Morpheus is angrily pulling off his shoes and shoving his coat onto the hooks. He also practically slams his keys down into the tray on the side table by the door, and Hob winces at the loud clang that echoes through the apartment. He considers asking Morpheus again if he’s all right, but decides to let his moody roommate come to him instead. 

Something is definitely very wrong if his roommate is making this much noise. Morpheus Endless is normally so quiet of a roommate that Hob doesn’t always notice when the other man is even in the apartment at the same time as him. Morpheus was so silent and unassuming that Hob had felt like he was being haunted by a ghost rather than living with a real person the first few months they started living together. Hob would be jump-scared in his own kitchen simply by turning around and finding Morpheus there right behind him. He had no idea another person could walk so quietly. The worst time had been in the bathroom, when Hob had accidentally squirted half a tube of toothpaste all over the other man’s black shirt. From that point forward, Morpheus had started knocking along the walls wherever he walked, so that Hob would know where he was at any given moment.

Still, the pale man was an ideal roommate otherwise, if not a little socially awkward at times. On top of his eerily quiet nature, it had taken months for Hob to get Morpheus to even say more than five words to him whenever they were in the same room together. Hob had first thought Morpheus was just disinterested in being friendly all together, but then one night, like a cat, his roommate peeked his head out of his room to the smell of Hob cooking dinner. Hob has since learned to let Morpheus come to him, instead of trying to impress on the man himself.

Hob’s efforts seem to now be paying off, for instead of stomping off to his bedroom to sulk about whatever it is, Morpheus instead makes his way over to the couch and plants himself directly in front of Hob’s line of vision. Hob tries to give his best reassuring smile as he stares up at the pale man.

“Bad day?” Hob asks gently. “I’m happy to listen, if you’d like. Looks like you could use a hug too.”

Morpheus doesn’t answer, he simply sways somewhat unsteadily for a few moments, before he practically collapses onto the couch. The only problem is, Hob is still very much sitting on said couch, and instead of aiming for the empty spot next to him, Hob instead finds himself with an armful of gangly limbs and untamed hair. 

“Oof,” Hob grunts as he takes on the unexpected weight. Hug it is, then. Morpheus isn’t heavy by any means, but it still takes a moment for Hob to adjust to having what is effectively an oversized cat suddenly in his lap. Hob eventually manages to wiggle his arms out from under Morpheus, before wrapping them around the pale man and pulling him against his chest. Morpheus immediately takes the cue and buries his face in Hob’s shoulder, shaking like a leaf and failing to keep his breathing even.

“Hey, hey, you’re okay, it’s all right,” Hob soothes, rubbing at Morpheus’s back. His roommate is freezing from the cold weather outside, but he’s quickly warming up the longer Hob holds him.

Hob doesn’t know what it is that’s upset Morpheus so much, but whatever it is, he’s glad that his roommate isn’t trying to deal with it alone, that they’ve come far enough in their friendship (though Morpheus has yet to call him a friend at this point) for him to show Hob this vulnerable side of him. 

The only downside to this is that this newfound vulnerability is doing absolutely nothing to help Hob’s teeny tiny, absolutely miniscule crush on his roommate. But that’s neither here nor there. Hob tucks the yearning feelings that arise from their newfound intimacy quietly behind his ribs and focuses all his energy into comforting Morpheus instead. 

“Do you…want to talk about it?” Hob asks Morpheus. 

A soft inhale. Then a shake of the head against his shoulder. The motion alerts Hob to the fact that his shoulder is damp, and the realization makes his heart lurch up into his throat. He wants to go out and find whoever or whatever it is that’s upset Morpheus so much and give them an introduction to his fists.

“Okay…” Hob continues, taking a deep breath and trying to calm himself down. He’s here for comfort, not to be a white knight. “That’s fine, we don’t need to get into it. Uhm…can I readjust though? This position’s a bit uncomfortable.”

There’s a short pause, and then eventually, Hob feels Morpheus nod against his shoulder.  

Moving Morpheus is a fairly easy task. If Hob didn’t know any better, he’d think his roommate had been replaced by some sort of mannequin from the way he lets Hob manhandle him so easily. He seems to be mostly aware of what’s happening, which is good, but it’s clear he’s no in any sort of headspace for conversation just yet.

Eventually, Hob is able to rearrange them so that he’s lying with his back resting on the arm of the couch, and Morpheus is sprawled on top of him. Their legs are tangled together and Hob’s also thrown the large throw blanket over them for good measure. Morpheus, of course, reburies his head in Hob’s shoulder, and Hob takes the opportunity to wrap his arms around his roommate’s shoulders once more, rubbing soothing circle’s into the other man’s back.

“See, that’s better now, isn’t it?” Hob asks gently. “Nothing beats a good hug and a cuddle on the couch when you’ve had a bad day.”

Morpheus hums, but otherwise doesn’t offer any other sort of verbal reply. It’s a start.

“You can stay as long as you like,” Hob adds. “I’m just going to lay right here until you decide you want to move.”

“Then you’ll be here until tomorrow,” Morpheus croaks, his voice clearly cracked from crying.

Hob laughs and moves his hand up from Morpheus’s back to ruffle the man’s messy black hair. Morpheus groans in annoyance and bats his hand away, but otherwise does not move from his chin perch on Hob’s shoulder. Somehow, Morpheus's hair looks exactly the same.

“There you are,” Hob says, his voice fond. “Was starting to worry you’d gone mute on me.”

“No,” Morpheus says. “...I still don’t want to talk about it.”

“That’s fine,” Hob replies, then adds, “and we can stay here until tomorrow, really, if you like. But I will need to pee at some point.”

Morpheus huffs. “I suppose that is acceptable.”

“Can I tempt you with some food too?” Hob asks. “I’ll even feed it to you if you’d like.”

“That won’t be necessary,” Morpheus replies. “I can feed myself.”

“All right,” Hob says, shrugging and shifting himself into a more comfortable lying position. “Need anything else? Want to take a nap?”

Morpheus doesn’t answer for some time, and Hob almost thinks the man fell asleep on him already, but then his roommate readjusts his limbs as well and moves his body downwards until his head is resting on Hob’s chest. Hob wants to cry at how adorable he looks, at how right it feels that their bodies fit together so perfectly, like they were made for each other. 

“A nap sounds nice,” Morpheus finally replies, mumbling quietly into Hob’s chest. “And perhaps food when we wake up.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Hob agrees. He already knows he’s going to be ordering take-out for tonight, but come tomorrow, he’s going to make all of Morpheus’s favorite foods for the rest of his week. For the rest of his life, if he’d let him.

It doesn’t take terribly long for Morpheus to fall asleep on him, and Hob resists the urge to plant a kiss in the man’s hair, settling instead for gently rubbing at Morpheus’s back. Hob falls asleep not too long after his roommate, and when he dreams, he dreams of a home filled with warmth and joy and love.

[shaotie]

What D.I.D I Do Wrong? - Short 1

Therapy and Trauma

(see the end for notes)

🔹🔹🔹

~One Year Post Krang Invasion~

"How long were you in the prison dimension?"

Leo shifted uncomfortably in his chair, shooting his eyes down and gripping the armrests a little tighter. He gave the cushioned couch in his yokai therapist's office a quick glance - wishing he had chosen to sit there instead when he first arrived because he could have cuddled into one of the pillows for comfort and hidden away a little bit behind it.

But he hadn't chosen that spot.

Why not?

Oh. Right. Orado had taken over the moment Jocelyn - Leo's skunk yokai therapist - opened the door and greeted him with her usual warm, grinning face.

As if he was in a robotic body and someone else had taken the controls, Leo had watched through his own eyes while Orado confidently walked into the office and promptly sat his turtle bum in the chair because it was the most defensible position out of the choice between the couch and the chair.

Orado - a dominate aspect of Leo's shattered personality - took control and picked to be in the best position possible to protect Leo.

Because apparently that was the sort of thing that happened to a person who was raised by an emotionally neglectful parent and later suffered through a series of traumatic events that triggered the symptoms of dissociative identity disorder.

Leo kept his eyes down, visibly curling in on himself and looking at the cuff to his hoodie sleeve as he picked at it.

"Who am I talking with now?" Jocelyn kindly asked him.

Boo.

Self conscious, insecure, passive, fearful little Boo, who felt like a manifestation of Leo as a child inside his teenage turtle mind.

There was no doubt in Leo's fractured mind that Boo was sitting up front with him right now - likely because some other aspect of his personality shoved him there to be a support because Boo never presented himself voluntarily unless he felt they were in a safe environment.

The thought of having to answer the first question Jocelyn asked (about the prison dimension) made Leo curl in on himself a little more - wishing he could shrink down into the size of the ink blot stained on his well-worn blue comfort hoodie and make himself all but disappear.

"Uh . . . I'm ah..."

He picked at his sleeve cuff some more, poking and pinching the wet spot from when his Cleo persona had been anxiously chewing on it in the waiting room, and told her: "I'm Leo, but Boo's here too."

"Thank you for telling me, Leo. I know that Boo likes to be heard, do you think I can ask him a question?"

"Mm hmm," Leo hummed in reply, nodding his head but keeping it pointed down with his eyes on the sleeve of his hoodie.

"I'm glad you're with us Boo, I have a question for you."

Jocelyn's voice took on a slightly high-pitched intonation as though she really was talking to a little child - all without losing the kindness and empathy she used that drew Leo to her in the first place (and helped him decide to stick with her after unsuccessfully going through five psychologists prior).

"Can you tell me about the bad place? Do you remember it?" Jocelyn asked, substituting the words 'prison dimension' with 'bad place' for Boo's sake.

Boo sniffled.

Cleo shared the front with them.

Leo closed his eyes to shut out the visual stimuli that was adding to his mounting fear because of how easily Cleo was overstimulated by lights and movements, and how the child-like Boo aspect of his personality was of the mindset that seeing meant being seen - aka not seeing meant not being seen.

And Leo slunk back a little into his mindscape.

This time when he spoke, the slider's voice came out sounding a little more high-pitched and childish because his fear was mounting, so he asked Boo to take the lead in talking - giving Leo a glass wall of sorts to hide behind.

"Yeah, I was there, I remember-WHAT did you DO to him!?"

Taking control of Leo's body Orado stood him on his feet, fists clenched and staring down Leo's therapist like he was a proud, mighty samurai staring down the enemy on the battle line.

Jocelyn tensed a little - not from anger but worry, not knowing exactly which personality was in the front right now but being aware that only Leo's dominate personas had the capacity to take control like that, and that one of Leo's two dominate personalities had the potential to explode in uncontrolled, violent outbursts.

That tension became slightly evident in her tone of voice when she asked: "Who in control now?"

Narrowing his eyes in anger, Orado answered: "Wouldn't you like to know."

Jocelyn breathed a sigh of relief because she knew now that she was talking to Orado and not the potentially explosive and wildly unpredictable Cleo.

But that also came with its own set of challenges because Orado firmly refused to share any information he believed could potentially threaten the person he swore to protect above all others - that person being Leo.

And in Orado's eyes Jocelyn was a stranger, an outsider to their family, so that made her more than someone to be distrustful of - it made her the enemy.

Orado pushed Leo from the mindscape where he was hiding into the back of his subconscious where he was the safest, so he wouldn't be present for this potentially triggering conversation. Meaning that once he was given back control of himself, Leo would have absolutely no memory of events that occured from the moment Orado pushed him away to whenever he decided it was safe to relinquish his control.

From Leo's perspective, no matter how much time passed in reality it would be nothing more than a split second flash of time - as though he had been teleported into the future in the blink of an eye.

Crossing his stiff arms and standing tall and erect in a way that showed off his confidence, Orado firmly demanded of Leo's psychologist:

"I turned my back for three seconds..."

He paused for emphasis and to glare at her.

"And when I come back Leo's hiding behind Boo because you," he thrust a hand out to point a finger at her before folding it back with the other flush to his chest, "...triggered him. A-gain."

Leo's therapist had years of experience helping patients who suffer from dissociative identity disorder, so her response - as always - was just as kind and gentle as the smile on her face.

"You are doing a good job protecting Leonardo."

"Lee-o, he's not Leonardo," Oredo corrected, indicating 'Leonardo' was a new budding distinct personality taking shape inside Leo's shattered mind - but relaxing his tone of voice slightly because he was arrogant and felt deserving of praise.

"Ah."

Jocelyn wrote something down in her notebook, commenting as she did so: "There's seven personalities inside Leo's mind now?"

"Eight. Get it right and learn to pay attention," Orado snapped with an angry scowl.

"My mistake," came the calm, gentle reply.

Orado looked her up and down condescendingly, keeping his stiff composure and scowl on his face as he watched her carefully for any sign that her presence might in some way pose a threat to the whole of him.

That 'whole' being Leo, who had hidden away in the dissociative void the moment Orado took control and pushed him to the far back of his subconscious.

Then, just as abruptly as Orado first presented himself Leo's body language shifted - relaxing but still standing confidently and uncrossing his arms to rest his hands on his hips - as Orado stepped aside to let another persona by the name of Leon take control on Leo's left side, while Cleo watched through his right eye.

In a smug, condescending tone of voice, Leon told Jocelyn: "If you wanna ask any of your silly little questions hurry up and get them over with cuz Leo's in the void and like the loser he is he's dragging me down."

Jocelyn knew from personal experience that when Leo went into what was referred to as 'the void' there was the risk of him dragging down all the other personalities with him, leaving him in a catatonic state for anywhere from minutes to hours - sometimes days at a time.

She also knew that both Orado and Leon were factual, blunt, and to the point, so if either one of them were going to answer any questions at all they had to be simple, straight-forward, and to the point without any of the fluff thrown in often referred to as 'pleasantries' or 'polite conversation'. So overlooking Leon's dig at the person who he was really a part of, she commented:

"According to the mystic scans we performed, Leo aged ten months in the time frame his brothers aged two, indicating he was in the prison dimension for eight months."

"Give her a cookie, she can do simple math," Leon replied as his sarcastic way of saying she was right.

Since Leo had already dipped into the void, Leon knew there was no time left for him to have a little 'fun' while the main person was away, so without another word he slipped back into the mindscape and let himself succumb to the void as well, and Orado took his place. Which was indicated by Leo's shift in body language - going back to tensing his body and crossing his arms. But when he opened his mouth to say something he too was pulled under - along Cleo and the rest of Leo's internal personalities - leaving one alone in his conscious mindscape.

Once again Leo's body language abruptly shifted as the kind-hearted Penelope took the front. His entire body language softened, she uncrossed his arms, and even offered a small smile to the one who was helping her dear Leo come to terms with the terrible atrocities he had to suffer through that led all of this happening to him.

"I need to sit," Penelope told Jocelyn in a soft, tender tone of voice that took on a slightly feminine tone - as much as Leo's vocal cords would allow - because this personality took on a female persona.

She was also a manifestation of all that was kind and good inside of Leo.

His empathy

tender compassion

love

kindness

and loyalty

all rolled into one gentle person.

Penelope sat hunched over a little with Leo's elbow on the arm of the chair, his hand covering his forehead and part of his face, and his head down with his eyes closed.

She also tugged on the bottom of Leo's blue hoodie to cover his legs a little more because she was by far the most modest of the bunch and didn't like that Leo (and his other personalities) chose to wear a much-too-short (in her opinion) pair of black shorts that didn't in any way cover his legs and also didn't as much as come down below the bottom lip of his shell - meaning it looked to others like he wasn't wearing anything at all below the waist.

"Who do I have now?" Jocelyn sweetly inquired.

"Pe . . .nelope, but..."

Penelope groaned, fighting against the pull dragging her under with Leo and the rest of his shattered mind.

"I'm . . . slipping . . . into the void. Mmmn . . . I don't have much time left."

Jocelyn tried to help by giving Penelope quiet to focus her thoughts on staying in the front of Leo's mind, hopeful she would be able to pull Leo out of the void - or at least to the edge of it so they didn't all go catatonic. But once this persona realized that would be impossible, she mustered her mental energy to ask: "Is Leo here alone?"

Not that she didn't remember Raph accompanied Leo to this appointment, but she wasn't sure if he was still there in the waiting room.

"Raphael came as well, he told me he'll stay in the waiting room until Leo's done," Jocelyn reassured.

"Good," came the one-word reply - but only because she didn't have the mental energy she needed to tack her usual 'thank you' on to the end.

At that confirmation that Leo would be cared for externally by his big brother - that he would be safe away from home without someone taking the lead inside his mind - Penelope gave in to the pull dragging her under into the void.

And everything went dark.

🔹🔹🔹

Leo didn't know how long he had gone catatonic this time, the only frame of reference he had was that the familiar smell of freshly cooked eggs and bacon helped to rouse him back from the void, and that he was sitting at the kitchen table when he regained awareness, blinking the world into focus.

And there in front of him was a plate of scrambled eggs, bacon, and hashbrowns.

The conversation abruptly hushed when Leo's family realized he was mentally there with them now, and after blinking away the hazy fog around his vision he gazed around at his siblings - his three turtle brothers and honorary human brother - who were one and all sitting with him at the table, each of them with a plate full of similar breakfast items, indicating their meal had just begun.

Pushing through the dazed confusion and grogginess of leaving the void, Leo came to realize they were eating breakfast, which meant they were either having one of their rare breakfast-for-supper evening meals or he had succumb to the void for the better part of a day and into the night.

"Good, you're awake I won't have to tube feed you now," was the first bland greeting he received from his family - that being his factually-minded twin Donnie who himself dealt with stress by hiding behind a facade of scientific data collecting and who at the moment was clicking on his wrist tech, inputting the time his traumatized brother mentally returned from his dissociative state of mental inactivity to add to the list.

Leo instantly felt self-conscious from that callous comment and Mikey roughly elbowed Donnie for his rude remark, prompting the softshell to stare at him while shrugging his shoulders and miming the word 'what' because he didn't understand what he did wrong.

That whole interaction combined by the uncomfortableness of being under eight sets of eyes made Cleo protectively rise to the surface.

Cleo being the most insecure, flighty aspect of Leo's personality who was basically a personification of his fears, anxieties, and intense emotions all rolled into one.

The one who was also super sensitive to lights, sounds, movements - any sensory input Leo's brain had to process.

She was also the one who felt every residual crack in Leo's shell from Krang Prime's torturous attack, who felt the acid rise in Leo's throat from the anxiety and pain of too many eyes, too bright lights, too many scents, too much movement too much toomuchTOOMUCH!!!

And just to help tip him over the edge, Leo was at the breakfast table wearing his black shorts and nothing else.

Shorts!?

Leo wore his pyjamas to the breakfast table!

His pyjamas! Not his shorts!!!

He wore his pyjamas because he was supposed to wake up, scroll through short videos in bed on his phone, eat breaky with his fam, and then change after he showered - after breaky!

They all knew that! (Or if they didn't they should have!!)

But judging by the clean sense to his skin and the faint scent of Leo's raspberry body wash, someone had showered him during his catatonic state not too long ago.

"Where's my pyjamas?"

The shy voice coming out sounding like a barely audible whisper stopped the conversation that was directed his way but had faded into the background in Leo's mind because of the internal torment he was currently dealing with.

With a big, toothy, nervous grin Raph asked his little brother: "Whaaat was that buddy?"

Leo - or rather Cleo - snapped his head up to glare at Raph.

"My pyjamas my pyjamas WHERE ARE MY PYJAMAS!!?"

Everybody tensed at that sudden outburst, worried the food, dishes, anything within reach was about to go flying.

Donnie pulled his plate closer and protectively shielded it from his unpredictable brother with his arm before stuffing food in his face as quickly as possible before Leo inevitably turned violent and smashed every plate, glass, and mug on the table.

"Uhhh, you showered and..." "NONONONOOOOO!!!"

Cleo grasped the sides of Leo's head so tightly his nails were digging in, threatening to draw blood.

"We shower AFTER breakfast! AFTER!!! HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW THAT YET!!!" Cleo screamed at Raph, with Leo's voice sounding hoarse as she gave him a sore throat from the intensity and volume of her words.

"I'll get them for you!" Mikey instantly offered. He jumped up to zip out of the room and Leo sat back in his chair, lowered his hands, blinked a few times in quick succession, and then looked in shock at his family who were all staring at him expectantly with their mouths agape and their eyes wide open.

"What did I do wrong?" Leo asked them fearfully, having no memory of the past few minutes when Cleo was in control that ended by Mikey doing the simple but significant task of offering to fix this whole mental breakdown by getting Leo's pjs for him.

The only thing he knew was that he blinked into awareness from the void, looked down at himself to see that he wasn't wearing his pyjamas, and then the next thing he knew his family were all staring at him like they had seen a ghost.

Raph was about to reassure him that he didn't do anything wrong (this time), but when he reached a hand out to rest it on top of his brother's Leo pulled away, jumped to his feet, blurted out: "I don't wanna know," and high-tailed it to his room - ignoring Mikey along the way who was heading back to the kitchen carrying his stripped blue pyjamas for some reason.

Mikey said something to him on his way past - or at least Leo thought he said something to him, his little brother might have been taking to himself, he wasn't paying attention. Instead he ran into his bedroom and slammed the door shut behind him - the one he asked Donnie to install sometime after the invasion in place of the blue curtain he previously had for a door, so he could be afforded more privacy when he needed it.

Leo proceeded to hide away in his room for the rest of that day, doom scrolling on his phone and hiding under his blankets any time anyone came in - not even leaving to eat, so Mikey kindly brought his meals to him.

Again.

Because this wasn't an uncommon occurrence for the traumatized turtle whose life had been completely turned upside down and who just wanted to be normal again.

🔹🔹🔹

Notes:

There's more background info on Leo's alternate personalities you can find in the masterpost linked below.

I don't know if I'm ever going to write a full au based on Leo having dissociative identity disorder, as of now the plan is to post a few short stories here on tumblr as I write them 💚🐢

🔹🔹🔹

🔹What D.I.D I Do Wrong? Masterpost

🔹My Main Masterpost

[tgmsunmontue]

To wake, perchance to dream 5/6

Hangster - Jake wakes up ~13 years in the future and thinks he has amnesia. Instead it's a glimpse of what his life could be. When he wakes up right before being called back to Top Gun for the special detachment he's going to try his damndest to make that future come true...

ONE TWO THREE FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

                He bangs on the door, keeps up a constant steady bang which is impossible to ignore for all that it’s really fucking irritating and also making his knuckles ache.

                “What do you want Hangman?” Bradley snaps, door being pulled open beneath his raised hand. He looks like shit, bags under his eyes, angry and tired and also like the best thing Jake’s ever seen.

                Alive.

                “I’m here to sleep with you.”

                Bradley immediately tries to shut the door but Jake’s faster, foot shooting out to jam the door open and he ignores Bradley scowling at him.

                “Fuck off. I’m not in the mood for sex Hangman, move your foot.”

                “No. I didn’t say sex. I said sleep. Our nightmares can keep each other company. Come on, I bought us some tea.”

                “You – what?” Bradley blinks at him. “I don’t like tea.”

                “Yeah well, suck it up buttercup, we’re drinking tea and holding each other because I’m betting you’re dreaming of dying, and I’m dreaming of you dying, and neither of us are getting any fucking sleep. So. Let’s just give it a shot.”

                “Do we have to?” Bradley grouches and Jake pushes a little and the door opens a fraction more.

                “Yes. We do.”

                “You’re not going to leave are you?”

                “Nope.”

                “Ugh. Fine.”

                He’s a little surprised at how easily Bradley has given in, had expected more of a fight given the last few days between them, but maybe he’s just as tired as Jake is feeling and quite frankly desperate to try anything for a decent night’s sleep and also doesn’t have the energy to fight. Whatever it is, Jake is going to take advantage and he pushes past, grocery bag clutched in his other hand. After sending a quick message to Javy he turns his phone off and then holds out his hand for Bradley’s phone.

                “What?”

                “No screens. Give me your phone. We’re going to try and actually fucking sleep so we don’t get mistaken for the walking dead next time we’re out in public. Come on. You wake up and need a distraction you wake me up.”

                “I thought you said you were here to sleep.”

                “Wake me up to talk asshole, you keep bringing up sex I’m going to get the wrong idea. Now do you have a kettle or am I doing this old-school?”                 Bradley blinks at hum dumbly but pulls out a kettle that’s covered in dust. He gives it a quick wipe down and then rinses it out a couple of times before deciding that boiling water should kill anything else that might still be there. Bradley just watches him in silence, either too tired to make conversation or unable to figure out what to say.

                He makes the tea and is glad he also bought some honey at the same time, spoons a little into each mug and then slides it across the bench. Bradley is of course looking at it with a combination of distrust and distaste. But Jake’s thinking of when Bradley made it for him the first time, his surprise at liking the taste. It’s a little loop closing; Bradley being the first one to make it for him, and now he’s the first one making it for Bradley; it feels significant somehow. The scent now throws him back to feeling scared shitless and confused and yet not unmoored, somehow tethered to the man who is sniffing at the mug like he half-expects Jake to have poisoned it.

                “What is this?”

                “Vanilla, honey and –”

                “That’s not tea…”

                “Chamomile,” Jake finishes. “It’s an herbal tea.”

                Bradley takes a sip and Jake has to force himself not to react at the look of pleasant surprise that appears on Bradley’s face.

                “It’s not bad.”

                “Mmm. Don’t sound so surprised. I’m full of good ideas.”

                That earns him a derisive snort and eyeroll, so unfortunately the tea doesn’t seem to have improved Bradley’s attitude at all, he really doesn’t seem to want Jake there. The silence between them is awkward rather than comfortable, but he ignores it, forces himself to just breathe and relax. Closes his eyes so he can pretend Bradley isn’t staring at him in confusion. It’s weirdly peaceful, just the sound of their breathing, quiet sips of their drinks, hum of the refrigerator. He’s tired enough that he finds himself almost dozing off, drifting and he stands, leaves his tea not quite finished.

                “Come on. Bed.”

                Bradley doesn’t argue, simply follows him despite it being his own house, but Jake is pleased to note that he finished his tea. For some reason though Bradley has gotten wound up again, tight and combative, angry again at Jake’s mere presence and he takes a quiet deep breath and reminds himself. Patience.

                “You got a spare toothbrush or something I can use?”

                Whatever good manners Bradley was raised with kick in because he grudgingly finds a spare brush still in a packet and shoves it toward him and Jake takes it with a saccharine sweet smile, refusing to rise to the bait or match Bradley’s attitude. Bradley stands beside him and brushes his own teeth and washes his face, and the bathroom lighting do the dark circle under either of their eyes any favors. Then Bradley is stripping off his clothes, fast and angry and Jake knows that the anger is directed at him. Probably. Maybe. Seems a safe bet.

                Of course, Bradley naked is still a gorgeous sight to behold, although he’s got bruises in varying stages of discoloration from the mission and he winces. Waits for him to grab something to pull on but instead he’s pulling back the duvet of his bed and –

                “You really sleep naked Rooster?”

                “When I’m on leave? Yes,” Bradley says, almost spitting the words like a challenge and Jake bites his lip, nods his head once and then promptly pulls his own t-shirt over his head.

                “Okay then. Nothing I ain’t seen already.”

                “What are you doing!”

                “When in Rome…”

                That leaves Bradley gaping a bit like a fish, but Jake has no shame in his nakedness, and like he’d just said, they have seen each other naked and have even been naked with each other in this very bed, so he’s not quite sure what Bradley’s all worried about now. Even if there was sex on the cards it would be a solo fucking flight because he’s too tired and he really hopes that he gets a decent night’s sleep as much as Bradley. He was only half-joking about them being mistaken for the walking dead. Bradley has busied himself with sliding into the bed, turning off the light and leaving Jake to fumble the last little bit as his eyes adjust to the dark room.

                He slides into the bed and presses himself against Bradley’s body, rolls his eyes when he feels how tense he is, shimmies and pushes him until they’re in the same position where he’s once again holding him, which he thinks is what he needs right now. To wake up with Bradley very much alive and breathing and in his arms. The memories of the mission and his future making his nightmares feel far too painful at what he almost lost. He has to fight every instinct to just slide a hand along Bradley’s jaw and kiss him.

                “Rooster. Brad- shaw,” he says, almost calling him Bradley. He desperately wants to call him Bradley again. One day he hopes to also be Bradshaw. “Seriously. Just… it’ll be good to be near someone right? Fucking relax already.”

                Just like that the fight seems to just dissipate and Bradley slumps with a sigh.

                “Yeah. Probably. Night.”

                “Night.”

…            …            …

                It was too much to hope for that being that tired would mean a dreamless sleep. He wakes with a gasp, stomach muscles and throat clenched tight. He immediately goes to apologize for waking Bradley, only to find the bed empty. The light under the bathroom door is on though and he pads over and taps at it quietly, strains his ears.

                “Bradshaw…”

                “Yeah…”

                “You okay?”

                “Yeah. Sorry. Didn’t mean to wake you…”

                Jake bites his lip and sucks in a deep breath, tries the door handle and isn’t sure whether he’s surprised or not to find it turning under his hand, not locking him out.

                “You didn’t wake me. I just had a nightmare myself…”

                “In the couple of minutes I was gone?”

                “Apparently…” Jake says, taking in just how pale Bradley is in the harsh light of the bathroom, the faint scent of vomit lingering in the air. “Rinse your mouth and come back to bed.”

                “Bossy.”

                Jake smirks but doesn’t bother offering any form of counter-argument, not when there isn’t any point and the Bradley he loves would do anything for him anyway.

…            …            …

                He makes Bradley spoon up behind him this time, needs to feel his arms around him after the grasping emptiness that featured in his most recent nightmare. He can tell Bradley isn’t sleepy, wonders whether they should get up and have another cup of tea but it’s dark and he’s warm, doesn’t particularly want to move. Although…

                “You want to make out for a bit?”

                “Thought you didn’t come here for sex.”

                “I didn’t. But if it’ll help…”

                Bradley snorts at that, but Jake doesn’t miss his fingers stroking over his hip and he smiles into the darkness and presses his ass back against Bradley’s bare cock, feels Bradley’s hips and cock jerk a little. At least they’ll save time already being naked.

…            …            …

                They sleep well past midday and Jake counts that as a win, although they’re both groggy like they’ve somehow got terrible hangovers. Bradley pours him coffee and Jake blinks at it, then goes looking for the sugar and creamer, doctoring his mug until it’s more to his tastes before realizing that this Bradley has only ever seen him drink black coffee. But he wants to make this Bradley that Bradley, so he’s going to have to let him know these things about him.

                Patience.

                They move around each other cautiously and Jake’s fingers itch with the desire to simply reach out and touch, because he wants. The first time he tries though Bradley flinches and it makes him pull back his hand like he’s burnt, not sure whether he should apologize or not. Touching when they’re in bed, or heading toward bed is okay, but otherwise… not okay. He grits his teeth and wonders if, or rather, when, that will change.

                Patience.

                They hang out with the other Daggers and Bradley acts like nothing has changed between them, that nothing is changing. He sneers at Jake’s flirtations like he doesn’t know Jake will be following him home. Looks lost and guilty in equal parts and the only thing that is holding Jake together some days is vague memories.

                Patience.

                The tea drinking becomes a nightly ritual, because while they both agree that black tea is disgusting, the combination of chamomile, vanilla and honey is soothing enough that they both start enjoying making it.

                “Where did you get the tea from anyway?”

                “The grocery store. Nothing magical or mystical about it...”

                Bradley gives him a look.

                “Sorry. Private joke. I'll tell you one day.”

                Patience.

                Bradley spends time with Maverick, comes back sometimes with red-rimmed eyes and Jake wonders if Bradley and Maverick cry together or if Bradley just drives somewhere and cries by himself. He doesn’t ask. Instead he helps with the demolition and restoration of his house. It gives him something to do and he likes it. Likes it more when Bradley works beside him, and it makes him think of the photos of them covered in paint. He knows he’s not crazy.

                Patience.

                Fuck he hopes he’s not crazy.

                Patience.

…            …            …

                He’s almost asleep when he hears it.

                “I’m sorry,” Bradley says, voice so quiet Jake can tell he’s whispering just in case Jake is somehow miraculously already asleep. He probably hopes that Jake is asleep.

                “What for this time?”

                “Fuck off, I’m trying to apologize.”

                “And I am legitimately asking what it is you think you need to apologize for,” Jake says, gritting his teeth to keep his voice calm.

                “Oh.”

                “Oh he says… maybe stop assuming I’m making a dig with every word out of my mouth.”

                “Sorry for that too I guess…” Bradley says and Jake lets out a quiet sigh, decides to just give in to the urge and presses a gentle kiss to the bicep muscle his head is currently partially cushioned on.

                “I wanted to say sorry for… using you. I feel like I’ve been using you. It’s been making me feel like shit.”

                Oh. He’s talking about the sex they’ve been having. It puts a different view on their interactions, the guilt-ridden looks Bradley keeps shooting his way, his whole hot-cold attitude and Jake shakes his head slightly.

                “Roo… Bradley. Do I come across to you as someone who lets himself be somewhere he doesn’t want to be?”

                “No.”

                “Did I ever seem like I wasn’t enjoying myself?”

                “No.”

                “Do you think if I hadn’t wanted… any of what’s happened between us in the last couple of weeks I would have said something.”

                “You have said something.”

                “I have. So. You can put those little worries away and ignore them. People might call me blunt and tactless but my partners have always known where they stood with me.”

                “Am I your partner now?”

                Jake freezes.

                “Well, position is vacant and I am taking applications.”

                “There an interview process?”

                “Well, yes. And you already passed that with flying colors. Was a practical demonstration after all…”

                “You’re a bit of a dork.”

                “Lies and slander…”

                “Oh my god, you are…”

                “No one’ll believe you…”

                “Coyote would.”

                “He already knows.”

                “Yeah, I guess he would.”

                “Go to sleep Bradshaw.”

                To his surprise, he does.

…            …            …

                The next time Bradley goes to visit Maverick he takes Jake with him, he hadn’t asked before exactly where Bradley went to do this, trusts Bradley enough to just sit beside him as he drives further out into the desert and then he sees the hangars and he’s not even surprised.

                “Does he live out here?”

                “Well, when he’s not staying at Penny’s…”

                “They together?” Jake asks, his memory of them, the one family dinner he’d gotten to be part of, settling around him.

                “Yeah. On again, and probably for good. Think Mav is scared of Amelia.”

                “Amelia…” Jake breathes. Another piece slots into place. Best person ever.

                “Yeah. Penny’s daughter. She gave Mav the shovel talk. Teenage girls are terrifying man.”

                Jake reaches his hand out, tentative and trying to broadcast his movements because Bradley is driving and this is maybe a really fucking bad idea, but he thinks something has changed. Fortunately something has changed, because Bradley shoots him a small sincere smile, turns his hand where it’s resting on the gear shift and lets Jake lace their fingers together before he has to let go a few moments later to change down gear and catches the fact that he’s still smiling.

…            …            …

                The sound of crying wakes him and he lies there silently for a few moments, wonders whether he should ignore it, or get up and go and comfort him. It takes him not even a second to decide and he takes the duvet from the bed to wrap them both in, settles behind him and rests his head against the broad expanse of Bradley’s back as he hunches over his clasped legs, breath coming in wracking sobs. Jake doesn’t say anything, just sits there and hopes like hell it’s enough.

…            …            …

                “I think I’m going to propose.”

                “That’s great man, congratulations. When you know, you know huh?”

                “Yeah. She’s just… she’s amazing.”

                “Yeah. She is. Don’t sell yourself short though. You’re pretty amazing too. I expect to be best man.”

                “Of course. Who else would I ask?”

…            …            …

                “I want to break up.”

                “Do you now? Well. Tough shit. We’re not breaking up.”

                “Bit hard for you to have a relationship with someone who isn’t around Hangman.”

                “You planning on going somewhere Rooster? I never thought you were a quitter, and yet here you are. Quitting us before we’ve even reached the start line!”

                “What us?! What start line!”

                “An actual proper relationship, not this semi-limbo phase while we’re both on leave. Playing house with no actual conversation about what we’re doing!”

                “I don’t want to talk about it!”

                “Yeah, no shit Rooster. Color me shocked. You don’t want to talk about anything! What are you so afraid of?”

                “You!” Bradley snaps, and Jake pulls back like he’s been slapped, the hurt and anguish in Bradley’s voice hurting like he has actually been hit. “I’m afraid of you!”

                “What?”

                “You… you could hurt me so badly. I can’t…”

                “Can’t what?” Jake asks, voice quiet and throat tight, tears threatening to spill over, because if it’s really what Bradley needs, or wants, then he will let him go…

                “I can’t lose you too. You’ll leave too…”

                “Jesus Bradley… so you think trying to run me off is a better option?”

                Bradley is crying, shrugging and sniffing through his tears and Jake lets his own tears spill over.

                “You are the biggest fucking idiot, I swear to god. I am in love with you Bradley Bradshaw. I will put up with a lot of your shit. And I mean a lot. You are not getting rid of me as easily as all that.”

                “You’re in love with me?”

                “Yeah. I also called you a fucking idiot.”

                “I love you too. I’m sorry.”

                “For being an idiot? It’s okay. I love that part of you too.”

…            …            …

                The first time Bradley kisses him in front of the other Daggers he hears two bottles of beer smash to the ground and all conversation around them ceases.

                “Since when was that a thing?” Omaha asks, hand waving between him and Bradley.

                He raises an eyebrow at Bradley, leaving it to him to lead the answers, because he will follow his lead. He’s not going to admit to anyone that he’s already started practicing writing Jake Bradshaw as his new signature. Yale and Harvard are exchanging money, while Coyote and Phoenix are both muttering fucking finally under their breath and Jake guesses they’ve both heard all about it from either him or Bradley. Payback, Fanboy and Bob are just nodding and smiling, like they’re genuinely happy for them, which is sort of nice. Halo is looking genuinely shocked, as is Fritz, and it’s their bottles of beer that both slipped from their hands, and he’s going to give them shit about that later.

…            …            …

                Family dinner.

                Holy shit.

                Even though he’s done this before, he knew they already liked him then. So. He guesses they’ll like him eventually even if he completely fucks it up tonight. He still wants to make a good impression though. Maverick already likes him. Well, he’s pretty sure Maverick likes him. Saving someone’s life generally helps in that regard, which may also help put him in Penny’s good books when it comes down to it.

                So.

                It’s just Amelia he has to somehow impress. And as Bradley had said, teenage girls are scary. It’s not like he can take her a bottle of wine or flowers… He’s still stressing about it when Bradley knocks on Penny’s front door, flowers and wine both in hand. He hands them over to Penny who accepts them graciously while Maverick makes a comment about the fact she owns a bar. Then he’s being introduced formally to Amelia Benjamin and she’s so very clearly the person who fits into their family in the future that Jake can’t help the easy grin he gives her. She looks him up and down, a slender eyebrow raised and Jake just keeps grinning.

                “Wow. What does he see in you?”

                “Hey!” Bradley protests and Jake squeezes Bradley to him, gives him a wink.

                “Wouldn’t you like to know…” Jake quips, and then immediately regrets it, realizes this isn’t the Amelia of ten plus years in the future and that was wildly inappropriate. But Maverick is laughing, Penny huffing in amusement, and Amelia’s nose is scrunched up, eyes rolling like they’re all being gross and Jake knows now why she’s in his phone as best person ever. “Think I’ve just found a partner in crime Bradshaw, someone else to give you shit when I’m not around.”

                “Like you need help with that…”

                “I need all the help I can get.”

…            …            …

                He isn’t oblivious to it. He notices the return of the nightmares as soon as they get new assignments, even if the assignment is currently to stay as one specialized squadron. He doesn’t know when Bradley retires from the Navy, but he knows he does. He also knows Bradley hasn’t yet been cleared for flying, and he knows it could be any combination of factors, but the nightmares are a definite clue pointing to something not physical.

                Patience.

                “Why did you become an aviator?”

                “Always wanted to fly…”

                “Like you dad?”

                “Yeah. And Mav.”

                “So… it was your dream?”

                “Yeah. I guess so.”

                “Is it still your dream?” Jake asks, words soft against the skin of Bradley’s neck, lips placing a gentle kiss.

                “What do you mean?”

                “Just… it’s okay to have new dreams and follow them instead. If there is something you think you might want more.”

                “I love flying.”

                “You don’t have to stop flying. But maybe it doesn’t need to be your job anymore…”

                “What the fuck Jake? Are you trying to get me to quit?”

                “No. I’m not trying to get you to do anything. You know what I want more than anything?”

                “What?”

                “For you to be happy. To sleep through the night again once in a while…”

                “So this is about my nightmares?”

                “No. Well. Yes, a little I guess. But only because I’m worried about you,” Jake says, and he knows Bradley’s getting agitated, so he shifts to sit in his lap, throwing his full body weight onto Bradley’s thighs and pressing him into the sofa. Bradley could throw him off if he really wanted to, but Jake loops his hands behind his head and lets his fingers run through the shorter strands of hair at his nape.

                “Bradley. I love you. I love you as a kick ass naval aviator. I love you as Maverick’s godson, as my boyfriend, and Nix’s best friend. I’ll love you no matter what. Okay?”

                “Yeah. Okay.”

                “You want to share anything with the class?”

                “I’ve not passed my psych evaluation.”

                He bites back the immediate yeah, no shit that jumps to the tip of his tongue.

                “Do you want to?”

                “What?”

                “Do you want to fly with the Navy again?”

                “Yes! Of course I do.”

                “Then you put in the work. We know how to work hard.”

                “That’s what my therapist said. Well. That and it can take time and everyone’s journey is their own…” he groans, like he’s exasperated and Jake smiles down at him.

                “Your therapist sounds like a very smart person…”

                “Since when do you think so highly of therapists?”

                “I know a therapist who is the smartest person I know,” Jake says, and refuses to say any more despite Bradley’s best efforts.

SIX

[not-the-conversation-starter]

The Death Of A Website.

tl;dr click source to see an AU of my blog.

As many of you may not have heard, Cohost has gone read only. The website infamous for "Zero Discoverability" and its users "Not Being Funny." Servers will close down at the end of 2024, if not earlier, being backed up on the Internet Archive before that. Since their user counts were still low after 2 years (about half of all sign ups ever were from people evacuating twitter, which then didn't know how to use the site so most left almost immediately. Kind of hilarious) they didn't feel like anymore money bleeding OR the fact that a staff of only four people being on call 24/7 was worth it anymore.

However,

the people who DID use the site loved it. And they did some genuinely cool things on it, far cooler than anything I ever saw even in the glory days of Tumblr. You know, like Finn and Jake hi-fiving between 2 posts. Stuff like a playable maze, or a fully navigable 3d room you move around in with your mouse entirely within a post. They really did some cool stuff.

There were also a ton of really talented people, people like the composer Lena Raine(Celeste/Minecraft) who loved the site because you could just. Actually talk to people on it! Without an algorithm to boost their posts, the only people who saw it were genuinely looking for it.

Also some of them were just good posters, we did get Pikmin 18 billion and eleven from Cohost after all.

The point is, I think if anyone outside of Cohost actually knew what was being done on Cohost, it would of succeeded. There would of been enough active users for them to invest more. If I knew about all of this I would of been there way more!

But rather than just you blindly believing me, I decided to spend (almost) every hour I would of on Tumblr, on Cohost instead. Clicking that link, or the source, or the link on the source above in the tl;dr, will take you to my Cohost blog. At least while it's still read-only.

If you've ever wondered what people would post on a dying website,

If you ever wondered what some of the best posts people were making on Cohost that got shared again in its last dying moments were,

If you want some reference for what inside jokes would look like to an outsider,

If you're just bored and need something to scroll through,

if you ever wondered what I would of reblogged on that website if I remembered my password easily enough to log back in easily...

You should check it out. I reblogged a lot, but the first page or 2 (every 20 posts, I kept trying to stop but I got sentimental and reblogged more) is pretty much just people's last posts. I'd say give it 3 pages to see if you're interested or not in exploring more of what the website has to offer.

I reblogged all kinds of posts. Goodbyes, sarcastic hellos, mourning, long speeches about the spirit of Cohost set to sad music, nothing burgers, inside jokes I didn't understand, The New Garfield, posts I flat out didn't read past the title because they were too long and I just wanted to move on really there's a lot of posts to archive, CSS crimes, stuff I found funny, "Where to find me" and webrings and website posts for people I never knew, Love Honk, reviews for movies and games I never intend to play or watch, 88x31 buttons, music recommendations and history, entire games, signing up for RSS feeds, asks and answers related to other stuff I didn't share on accident, regular memes, Intern Secretary Eggbug, a post that's just an image hosted off-site so it'll update even after readonly, and so on.

(Nothing overtly NSFW. Tag search still works if you want that)

You could think of my blog as a small encapsulation of a small website. There's only 60 pages, including the ones from before the announcement from me just rarely using the site!

One that I, personally, am sad is gone. That I'm glad I got to see at least in its dying days. That I genuinely hope someone makes another attempt at creating.

[sassycheesecake]

Uncle!Osamu who has just having a regular day at his onigiri restaurant when the entrance doorbell chimes, followed by squeals of excitement of a twin pair, one boy, one girl.

The gray-eyed man looks at the direction of the voices, happy to see his niece and nephew again after not seeing them for almost two weeks.

The girl of the twin pair has dark brown hair and your eyes, while the boy has your hair color and hazel brown eyes.

Today, both of them are wearing matching MSBY training suits, a gift from uncle Hinata and uncle Bokuto.

As uncle!Osamu engulfs the five-year-olds in a big hug, his brother walks in, a tired look adorning his usual confident, cheeky expression.

Now Atsumu Miya, Setter of the MSBY Black Jackals looks like he hasn’t slept properly in a couple months.

He looks like he's been through hell and as a father, he is more than justified to look like hell.

After all, he was a child once and along with Osamu they both always got into trouble. His mother was a single parent and how she managed two raise two boys with a job all by herself without having to give up the twins for adoption is still a mystery to Atsumu.

As Osamu looks at his brother, he notices that the Setter's hair is unruly, he has dark circles under his eyes and is looking at his children with a scolding look on his face.

"I told ya brats a million times not ta run across the street when we go see uncle Samu. If ya get hit by a car, mommy will kill me and marry yer uncle instead."

"Would that be so bad?" Osamu grins in mischief at his twin, letting go of the kids, who apologize to their father with apologetic and guilty looks.

"Shut yer trap, I am too tired ta deal with ya right now. I came ta ask for a favor." Atsumu trots over to the bar stools in front of the counter, ignoring the hushed whispers of excitement from some of the costumers.

"Don’t curse in front of yer kids, they’ll pick up that habit. What do ya want?" Osamu turns around to prepare some lunch for his niece and nephew.

"Can ya watch the kids this weekend? I have been wantin' some alone time with (Y/N) and these little shits interrupt every damn time." The blonde leans over the counter and quietly hisses at the ravenette.

"Sorry, but no." Osamu declines.

"Please, please, pweeeeeaaaaaase can ya watch ‘em this weekend? I can’t even remember the last time I had sex with (Y/N)! And my dick is about to fall off from the pent up frustration of games, takin’ care of the kids and tryin’ ta get alone time with my wife!"

Osamu huffs annoyed at his plea, he already has plans for the weekend, sleeping in, to be more precise.

"Welcome to family life. I can’t Tsumu. I already have plans." The ravenette explains, giving each of the twins a pair of grilled salmon cream cheese onigiris, your favorite and also the twins’.

"Oh yeah? What do ya have planned huh? Ya got no marriage, no kids, no responsibilities, if I remember correctly. I call bullshit." Atsumu stares at his brother with a skeptical expression, seeing that Osamu is walking to the back, he decides to follow after him into the back, telling his offspring to stay put.

"I really want ta sleep in this weekend and I have been wantin’ to ask that girl out from the book store down the street. The brunette I told ya about?" Osamu takes a few bags of rice and hands it to his brother, who takes them without hesitation.

"The only thing that’s in my memory department right now is the Paw Patrol intro theme song, along with ‘We don’t talk about Bruno’ in like 15 different languages."

To be honest, Osamu is glad that he doesn’t have kids yet.

Taking two more bags, both brothers make their way to the kitchen area, where Osamu starts up a few new batches of cooked rice.

Atsumu also puts the rice bags down, staring almost pleadingly at his brother.

"Do ya want me ta go down on my knees for ya and beg? I ain’t asking for much, just please, watch them this weekend. Just one weekend. I really need it and so does Atsumu junior."

"Please don’t talk about yer dick in my product storage, ya will ruin my food." Osamu scoffs in disgust.

"Seriously, what do I gotta do ta make ya watch 'em? Name it." Atsumu keeps trying to persuade his brother.

Osamu pretends to think and after watching his brother who looks so desperate it's almost funny, sighs in defeat and agrees to watch the little rascals this weekend.

"Fine, I'll watch 'em this weekend but ya owe me. That was ma only free weekend in a while."

"Whatever ya want bro, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!" Atsumu jumps up and down in excitement like a little kid and hugs his brother while he jumps and down.

"Get off of me, ya dumb idiot. I'll said I'll watch 'em for a weekend, not adopt them." Osamu shoves his brother off and straightens out his cooking uniform.

Atsumu literally glows in excitement and happiness and immediately calls his wife, walking back out to check on his children.

As Osamu watches him leave, he sighs deeply.

What have I gotten myself into?

[inawickedlittletown]

I've Been Waiting for the Tides to Change (bucktommy one-shot)

Summary: It was itching at him, the pull that he felt towards Evan. He hadn’t been attracted to someone that quickly in a long while and the thing was that Tommy got it. He got how scary it was to come out and the bravery it took to not only admit that to yourself, but also to everyone else.

-

Or 7x05 from Tommy's perspective and what happens after the coffee date.

Words: 4,987

On Ao3

-

“How’d the date go?” 

Tommy slowly put his sandwich down. He chewed on the food in his mouth, glad that it gave him time to think. Lucy dropped into the chair across from him, tearing the stem of a green apple off. 

“It was good,” he said, took a sip of his water. “He’s a really interesting guy.” 

Lucy smiled easily. “That’s great. Seeing him again?” 

“Uh, maybe. I don’t know yet. Kinda up to him, I guess. How was your time off?” 

She groaned, still playing with her apple instead of eating it. “I love my parents. Not so sure about my siblings. Either way, it always reminds me how happy I am living far away from all of them. I did hear I missed a visit from the 118.”

“I forgot you worked with them for a bit,” Tommy said. 

Lucy grinned. “It was fun. They’re an interesting lot. Tight knit.”

“That they are,” Tommy said. 

“I’m glad you were here to help them out,” Lucy said. “I get it, you know, I would have done it too. They’re family over there.” 

She gave him a knowing look that spoke of how obvious the Chief had been about taking the credit for the whole thing. At least none of them had lost their jobs. Tommy hadn’t even given it a second thought after Chim called and then showed up five minutes later with Evan and Eddie. 

“That they are,” Tommy said. He took another bite of his sandwich and wondered when he would hear from any of them again. When he would hear from Evan. 

Tommy didn’t want to push. Evan was clearly still trying to figure things out and he didn’t think there was room for him in that, not when his very presence made Evan so nervous. Tommy hadn’t known for sure until Evan said it, that it was the first time he was on a date with a man — a “dude” as Evan put it. He’d suspected, but seeing him get so flustered and panicked had left Tommy with few options but to cut the date short. 

He’d seen the disappointment written in Evan’s face and it had taken everything in Tommy to not offer up more than just the truth, that Evan wasn’t ready. 

It was just that before Evan got in his head about it, things had been going really well. 

They’d texted a little to make plans, deciding it was best to just meet up at the restaurant. Tommy had arrived a little earlier only to find Evan getting out of his uber. He’d smiled so wide when seeing Tommy, the dimple on his cheek coming through. He was so painfully gorgeous. 

It hadn’t been hard to tell that Evan was a little nervous, but he was enthusiastic too. Their conversation came easy. Evan was interested in what Tommy had to say and he responded not only with questions and observations but linked it to his own train of thought. They laughed a lot, had comfortable silences that could be used for focusing on their food, and then went back to talking. All in all, it was one of the better dates that Tommy had been on. That is until Evan realized they were on a date. 

Well, no, it wasn’t that he hadn’t known it was a date…as much as that he’d let himself be immersed in it. When that was suddenly broken by the arrival of the check, it had brought something else out in Evan. Nerves and worry and panic. His body had literally tensed up. Eddie appearing hadn’t helped at all, but Eddie was also as oblivious as they came. Tommy didn’t think that Eddie would have caught on even if he and Evan were holding hands across the table. 

Tommy didn’t know the next move, not really. So, he decided it was better if he let Evan reach out first. It was his move. Tommy didn’t want to push and if Evan really was that bothered by the idea that he was more than just an ally, then it was for the better. 

A few days later found him with Lucy headed out on a call. Med-evac. 

“Hey, you didn’t say, your guy call yet?” 

“He’s not out,” Tommy said because it was true and also because he didn’t want Lucy to press for details and figure out just who Tommy had gone on a date with. 

“Oh,” Lucy said. “That a problem?” 

Tommy didn’t answer for a moment. He focused on flying for a bit. “No,” he settled on. “It’s not a problem. It’s just muddled, I was his first date with a guy and he’s still figuring things out. I don’t want to add to everything he’s already trying to figure out.” 

Lucy shot him a smile. “You’re a good one, Tommy.” 

At one point in his life, Tommy hadn’t known that he would be able to talk about things like this so easily. He’d been so deep in denial, lying to himself and everyone else, and unaware that there was a light at the end of the tunnel. He liked to give himself some credit, but a lot of it also went to Hen. After she arrived at the 118, Tommy just couldn’t help but listen. Hen was loud and proud and more than anything an inspiration. 

He didn’t fully embrace that part of himself until he left the 118, but he felt such a relief when he did, but also when the world didn’t fall apart. People were more accepting than anyone really realized. 

When they got back to Harbor, Lucy helped him clean the chopper. 

“I can tell you like him,” Lucy said. “You wouldn’t be waiting to see if he’ll reach out if you didn’t.” 

“And why don’t we discuss your love life?” Tommy shot back. 

“Maybe because mine isn’t as exciting right now and we’ve discussed it plenty. What happened on this date exactly?”

He eyed Lucy and then sighed. She wasn’t wrong. They did often spend a lot of time talking about her dates. At the moment she was single, but knowing Lucy it wouldn’t take long before someone caught her eye. 

“Okay. So, date is going great. Good conversation. Good vibes. He’s smart. He’s funny. We’re clicking in so many ways and did I mention how adorable he is? Anyway, the whole time he’s a bit nervous, but it’s a first date that’s all normal. But I think it hit him that he was on a date with a guy and he got a little self-conscious and we’re kinda talking about it and I’m bringing up my own experiences when his best friend walks in.”

“Oh no,” Lucy said. 

Tommy grimaced. “Yeah, and his friend spots us and immediately comes over with his date and his friend has no idea we’re on a date.”

“But your guy freaked out,” Lucy said. 

“Yeah. Big time. Said some nonsense about us going to pick up girls, just…” he trailed off and hung his head a bit. 

“Overcorrected,” Lucy filled in. “So what did you do?” 

“Well, we left the restaurant and we were supposed to go to a movie, but I just couldn’t…I felt like I was pushing him into doing more than he’s ready for.”

“And you haven’t spoken to him since?” 

He shook his head. “I thought about it. Checking in with him, but I don’t even know if he wants to hear from me and maybe it’s better if he takes some time to figure things out. I don’t know.” 

Lucy turned to face him entirely. Her blond hair fluttered with the wind. “I get that, but if he’s as skittish as you’re saying then maybe he needs you to call first.”

It was itching at him, the pull that he felt towards Evan. He hadn’t been attracted to someone that quickly in a long while and the thing was that Tommy got it. He got how scary it was to come out and the bravery it took to not only admit that to yourself, but also to everyone else. 

“I don’t know,” Tommy said. 

“Hey, it’s all on you,” Lucy said. 

He did think about it when he got home. Lucy did have a point that Evan might just need some prompting. Tommy did like him, he was interested in getting to know him and certainly interested in a lot more. He also had to look out for himself. As good as the date had gone, it was one date. He and Evan didn’t really know each other. A lot of what Tommy knew came from little tidbits from Eddie and Christopher. It wasn’t much to go on, and maybe it was better to end things before they went downhill. 

Tommy resigned himself to not hearing from Evan. He would hear about him from Eddie, maybe even see him eventually and they might become friends or Evan might be more prepared. 

So, when Evan called, Tommy almost stared at his phone too long and only just managed to pick up before the call went to voicemail. 

“Evan?” 

“Hi,” Evan said. He sounded breathy. “Hi, Tommy. I was…well, I was wondering if you would meet me for coffee.”

Evan sounded nervous, but also sure. He waited too long to answer, so Evan spoke again. 

“If you want, I mean…I’ll understand if you don’t.”

“When?” Tommy asked. 

“Is tomorrow good?” Evan sounded eager. 

“Yeah, Evan. Tomorrow’s good.”

“Good. Good. Great. I’ll — I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

Evan hung up and not a minute later Tommy got a text with a link to a cafe and a time. He sent back a thumbs up.

The next day, his nerves were mixed with anticipation. For a very short moment right before he arrived at the cafe, he wondered if it was a good idea. Then, he decided that of course it was. Even if all that came out of it was Evan wanting to be just friends, that was still worth seeing through. 

Evan was already seated. He’d even bought Tommy coffee. He looked cute, all eager and determined. Nervous too. Tommy could see himself falling for him and that was dangerous. 

The coffee tasted awful. It was coffee masked by milk and sugar. Tommy did for a moment wonder if this was Evan’s own coffee order and that was more than a little concerning. 

“Seems there are a lot of things we don’t know about each other,” Evan said. 

He was gorgeous, and while he was definitely right that they didn’t know each other at all, Tommy wanted to know him. He wanted to know everything about him. 

“Practically everything,” Tommy said. 

“Well I — I would like to change that,” Evan said and he looked right at Tommy. “First, I need to apologize for the way I behaved the other night.”

“You have nothing to apologize for,” he was quick to say because in Tommy’s eyes he didn’t. 

“No, I — I do,” Evan said and he was so serious. Earnest. 

“No,” Tommy repeated, shaking his head a little and hoping that Evan got where Tommy had been coming from. “I didn’t cut things short because you behaved badly. I did it because I didn’t want to pressure you.”

“Still the way I reacted was not my proudest moment.” 

“Noted.” 

“Uh, so you said before, um, that…that you don’t think I’m ready,” Evan said and the nervous energy was back.

Tommy braced himself because this was the moment when Evan made a decision. He would shut down anything romantic between them or he would ask Tommy to wait or he would—

“And the truth is I don’t know what I’m ready for, but I am ready for something and I think maybe that something could be with you.” 

He couldn’t tell if Evan was saying it in some effort to convince Tommy or what, but the way he looked at him was so hopeful. There was confidence there too, like Evan was embracing that it was okay not to know and it was also okay to be honest and hopeful. 

“You already know that I’m interested,” Tommy said. 

He would take whatever pace Evan wanted to set…would do whatever Evan wanted. It was scary how invested he was in it already and this something that Evan wanted hadn’t even been defined. 

Tommy didn’t expect for Evan to jump right in with, “Come with me to my sister’s wedding.”

He laughed in surprise. “What?”

Evan barreled on. “I want you to be my date at my sister’s wedding.”

Tommy didn’t know what to think. He didn’t know how he was supposed to handle that. It had been barely a week since they kissed and even less than that since their date where Evan had babbled on in a feeble attempt to cover up for something Eddie hadn’t even suspected. And now he wanted Tommy to be his date at his sister’s wedding. 

“Evan,” he said and he meant it to come out incredulous. 

“Come on,” Evan said. “I’m serious. Listen, you…you already know half the people there and…and she wants to meet you.”

He’d told her about him. Evan had told his sister about him and probably so much more. Come out to her, maybe. Discussed his feelings and his new found identity. Told her about Tommy which was…wow. This wasn’t at all what Tommy had expected. In for a penny, in for a pound and all that. Evan did nothing by halves. 

“Are you absolutely sure about this?”

Evan was smiling. He wasn’t rushing into this without thinking, or at least he was doing an amazing job at faking that he hadn’t just asked Tommy on a whim. 

“Yes, I’m sure. There’s going to be free food and I need someone to dance with.”

“Okay”

“Yeah?” Evan asked with just a tinge of surprise as if he had somehow still expected Tommy to put up a fight

“Yeah,” Tommy said. 

“Okay, great,” Evan said and he was quite literally shinning. 

Evan was amazing. His face was open and happy and when his hand came to rest atop Tommy’s, he felt himself go warm. Evan’s thumb was moving over his fingers and he placed his other hand over Evan’s, cradling it there and feeling such a deep connection with this gorgeous boy who was so brave and so wonderful and who didn’t seem to care one bit that they were in a very public place holding hands across a table. 

“So,” Evan said, “and this is very important, how do you take your coffee?” 

Tommy chuckled. “Medium roast black with cinnamon and two sugars.”

“Noted,” Evan said. He was still smiling. 

“You told your sister about me.” 

His cheeks flushed pink. In the light of day it was glorious. 

“I didn’t mean to,” Evan admitted. “I started off by telling her that I’d lied to Eddie while I was on a date and then I slipped with the pronoun. Didn’t even catch it until she pointed it out. But it felt…it felt good once she knew. Maddie’s great, she’s going to love you.” 

Tommy couldn’t quite believe how quickly Evan had gone from a nervous wreck, to talking to a family member about being into men. 

Evan did frown a little, then. “I, uh, I also told Eddie.”

Maddie was one thing. Telling Eddie…that was — after the lengths that Evan had gone to throw Eddie off, Tommy almost hadn’t expected it. Of course, Eddie would be at the wedding…all of Evan’s firehouse and probably other family and Evan wanted him there at his side, he wanted to dance with him. He didn’t just want Tommy as a friend, he wanted him as his date and he didn’t care at all how loud it would be for anyone that didn’t already know. 

“He was a little shocked, but it went alright,” Buck said. “He’s…he’s the one that told me I should call you.”

“I should thank him, then,” Tommy said. 

Evan shrugged. “He might be a bit busy.” 

“Right, his girlfriend was moving in.” 

“And is now moving back out,” Evan said. “Are you…do you have anything going on today?” 

Tommy shook his head. “Not until later. I’ve got an overnight shift. Why?” 

“Well,” Evan said, “I’d really like to keep hanging out with you.”

“Alright,” Tommy said and couldn’t help but smile. “Do you have anything in mind?”

Evan tilted his head to the left. “I do, actually.”

Evan’s idea turned out to be the California Science Center. Tommy hadn’t expected it, but then it seemed like Evan was out to surprise him. Evan drove them and it gave Tommy time to admire him. He looked good behind the wheel of a car, especially when his hand was shifting gears and Tommy could trace his tendons with his eyes. He really was gorgeous. 

Tommy noticed the signs for the Science Center as they approached it. 

“Really?” 

Buck’s cheeks pinked. “There’s a new exhibit,” he said. 

Tommy had never been into museums or art shows or any of that stuff. The last time he’d probably stepped foot in one — other than a call back when he was with the 118 — was some field trip with school. He didn’t think he’d ever even been to the California Science Center. 

“On what?” Tommy asked, curious. 

“Da Vinci,” Evan said after they’d parked. When he turned to look at Tommy he looked a bit deflated, as if he could tell that Tommy wasn’t all that excited. 

“I’m getting this all wrong again, aren’t I,” Evan said. 

Tommy shook his head at once. “No. No, you’re not. Now come on, Da Vinci, you say, was he the one that cut off his ear?” 

Evan laughed. “No, Tommy. As far as I know he had both his ears at death. That was Van Gogh. And hey, now I know one more thing about you.” 

“What’s that?” 

“Art isn’t your thing. It isn’t really mine either, to be clear.” 

“If it isn’t your thing, then, why—” Tommy motioned towards the building they were walking towards. 

Evan looked amused more than anything, his lips tilted up and his eyes squinting a little in the sun. 

“I like science,” Evan said. There was wonder in his eyes that remained even when he stopped just outside the door of the building to turn to look directly at Tommy. “And when I saw this exhibit, it made me think of you.” 

“Me?” He said, more than a little shocked. 

Evan nodded. “Aviation,” he said. “Da Vinci’s flying machine. I think he called it an ornithopter.”

And that…that was incredibly sweet. He didn’t say it outloud, but it was possible that his face said it all considering how wide Evan smiled back at him. 

“Come on,” Evan said and he grabbed Tommy’s hand, pulling him towards the door. 

Tommy’s mind went blank. He felt the calluses on Evan’s fingers, knew his own hands held some too. Evan’s hands were solid, and his hold was gentle but sure. Tommy hadn’t held hands with too many people, not like this. He barely noticed getting inside or Evan leading him past the lobby and towards the Da Vinci exhibit. 

“Here it is,” Evan said.

It was some kind of flying bicycle thing and it was sort of amazing. Not because it could have ever flown, but because Tommy could see that there had been a lot of thought and imagination put to the creation of it. 

Tommy had never experienced a museum quite like his experience with Evan. None of it was boring. There was plenty to look at within the Da Vinci exhibit. After the ornithopter there was the aerial screw and Tommy knew machinery — he especially knew helicopters and he could tell readily enough where other inventors had taken these ideas and improved on them until they arrived at something that could actually fly.

Evan had facts to add to the information on the placards, he got animated as he explained something that was so random and yet connected to whatever display they were in front of that Tommy was sure more than one person had assumed he was some kind of guide. He was brilliant and amazing and Tommy never wanted to stop looking at him. 

They didn’t hold hands the whole time, but they stood so close that their shoulders were always brushing. They were unmistakably together. Evan showed not one ounce of caring for who might notice, not even when some eyes stayed on them long enough to show some disdain. 

When Evan wasn’t looking at a display or gushing facts out, his attention was on Tommy. They got to know each other and the more that he discovered about Evan, the more he liked him. 

“Did you enjoy yourself?” Evan asked when they were on their way out. 

“I did.” 

Evan ducked his head. “Good. Thought maybe you wouldn’t.” 

“I think it’s all down to the company,” Tommy said. “This wouldn’t have been nearly as fun if I didn’t have you as my guide.”

He blushed so pretty. Tommy hoped that it would never stop happening. 

“Good second date,” Evan said. 

“I don’t believe it’s over yet,” Tommy said.  

“No?” Evan asked, still smiling and still blushing. 

“How about some lunch, Evan?” 

When Tommy had agreed to coffee, he hadn’t known he’d be spending most of the day with Evan. It was a good thing he didn’t have any other plans, although come to think of it he would have probably canceled them. 

“Sounds like a plan,” Evan said. 

An hour later they were seated across from each other. Evan was telling him about all the time he’d spent driving around the country when he was younger and Tommy was enthralled. 

“I was searching for somewhere to belong,” Evan said. “I never quite fit with my parents. Once Maddie was out of the house it got even harder and then she got me out…and I just kept moving until I stepped foot in the 118.”

Tommy nodded. It was funny, the timing of things. Tommy had left and Evan had taken his spot essentially. He didn’t know if Evan had put that together, not that it really mattered. Tommy had always aimed to get back in the air, he had no regrets about leaving or where it had led him. He did wonder about what he would have made of Evan if he had been there while he was rookie. It wouldn’t have been this, that’s for certain. 

“It’s so different over there now,” Tommy said. 

“It didn’t come easy,” Evan said. “I was such a dumb kid. Bobby fired me.”

Tommy laughed and he was reminded of Sal. “What did you do?”

Evan expressed himself with his whole body. He ducked his head and his hands were up as if ready to form the explanation. 

“It — it doesn’t matter,” Evan said, his words coming out stuttered and quick and a blush rising on his cheeks. “Point is that we’ve come a long way.”

Tommy eyed him. Whatever it was, he was obviously not proud of it and Tommy wouldn’t press despite his curiosity. One day maybe Evan would tell him. 

When they were done, they fought over the check. 

“You paid last time,” Evan said. 

“You paid at the exhibit,” Tommy said. They were each holding an end of the little black book. “And you got the coffee this morning.” 

“You didn’t even drink it,” Evan said. 

Tommy pulled the book towards him. Evan narrowed his eyes. 

“If you let me pay this time, then you can take care of our next date,” Tommy said. 

Evan’s cheeks went pink. His grip slacked. “Our next date?” 

Tommy put the book on his lap. “I know you asked me to your sister’s wedding, but I’d like to see you before then, Evan.” 

Evan nodded. Tommy slipped his credit card in the slot. 

They had left his car back by the cafe, and Evan insisted on driving him back instead of letting him take an uber. When Tommy tried to make a point for how it wasn’t necessary, Evan just shook his head. 

“I don’t want to end this yet,” Evan said.

Tommy found he agreed with him, but Tommy knew that the anticipation for the next time he saw Evan would hold him over. When Evan got out of the car before Tommy could after they parked, he didn’t expect to be walked to his truck. 

“This day was amazing,” Evan said. 

“It really was,” Tommy said. 

Evan was smiling, eyes ducked down to the ground. When he looked up again, he seemed to have come to a conclusion. “Can I—”

“What?” Tommy asked. 

Evan inhaled a breath. “I just…I’d like to kiss you again.” 

Oh. Evan’s tongue dipped out from between his lips, and then it was gone again. He was red and his eyes were blown wide. 

“Yes,” Tommy breathed. He shifted closer. 

Evan’s hand was shaking when it touched his cheek, but Tommy leaned into it and Evan’s thumb moved over his skin, leaving a trail of fire. Their eyes were locked into each other and Tommy could get lost in that blue. He felt Evan’s breath on his skin and Tommy had to restrain himself from leaving in, letting Evan do it instead. It was chaste, similar to the first kiss and yet when their lips brushed together, it sparked something. He wanted to push closer, to lick into Evan’s mouth and taste him. Instead he settled for touching Evan’s chest. He could feel how wildly his heart was beating as his hand climbed up to Evan’s neck, touching the warm soft skin. 

When Tommy stepped back, Evan almost seemed to chase him. Tommy chuckled between them and it took everything not to grasp Evan and kiss him again. 

“I’ll see you soon, Evan.” 

“Stay safe tonight,” Evan responded. 

When he got to work some hours later, Tommy couldn’t keep the smile off his face. Lucy noticed it immediately and she cornered him. 

“Spill,” she said. 

“He called. We went for coffee this morning and spent the whole day together.” 

She made a noise of excitement. “The whole day! That’s great.” 

“It is. He’s amazing, Lucy. Evan is…he’s everything I’ve always dreamed of and never knew was out there.” 

“Evan is it,” Lucy said, a glint in her eye. “Didn’t you say he wasn’t out?”

Tommy froze. “Uh, turns out his closet was badly constructed. He, uh, he asked me to a wedding.”

Lucy was staring at him, mouth agape. “Wait, wait, wait, back up, Kinard, you’ve hardly been on a second date and you’re already going to a wedding with him. Last time we spoke you thought he wasn’t even going to call and…wow, this is—”

“I know,” Tommy said. 

Maybe he should have been more concerned about it, but Tommy found that he wasn’t. It was about him and Evan, and Evan was clearly comfortable with bringing him along as a date otherwise he wouldn’t have asked. And somehow, Tommy just knew that if things did somehow go wrong, that they would get through it. 

“That’s a lot of pressure,” Lucy said. “Meeting the family and his friends, I’d assume.” 

“It helps that I know a lot of his friends already,” Tommy said and it was exactly what Evan had said to him. 

“Evan,” Lucy repeated and Tommy saw it the moment realization hit. “Not Evan Buckley? You’re…Tommy, tell me you’re not dating Buck.” 

“I can’t. I am.” 

The shock went right into laughter, loud and ridiculous laughter in a way that Lucy rarely ever laughed. 

“Wow,” she said and she was still laughing. “I — wow…this makes so much sense.”

“What does?” 

“All of it. Him. You. Your first date. The wedding.” 

Tommy stared at her waiting for elaboration, but it seemed that she was still processing. 

“What about it?” Tommy asked, when he couldn’t wait any longer. 

“It’s just that I know you, and I know him, and I can see it. You two together, it could work if neither of you get in your own way. You care about him, and while I didn’t expect him to be into men, that makes sense too.”

Tommy couldn’t help his smile. Lucy’s however faded and she looked a little more serious. 

“There’s something I should tell you,” she said. 

“What is it?” 

Lucy regarded him for a long moment. “I’m saying this for the sake of transparency. Buck and I kissed once.”

“Oh,” Tommy said. 

She grimaced. “We were very drunk. This shouldn’t change anything for you two, this is about us. I didn’t want to keep that from you and I’m sure Buck will tell you, just like I’m telling you, it meant nothing and nothing ever happened after.” 

Tommy had no right to judge. They hadn’t really talked past relationships, but he got the sense that Buck hadn’t had the best luck in that department. They were the same that way. Whatever had happened between him and Lucy was in the past. 

“He’s a good kisser, isn’t he?” Tommy asked.

Lucy’s smile returned. She looked relieved. “From what I can remember, yes. I get it, Tommy, man’s hot.” 

“Yes, he is.” 

He was more than that too. So much more. Tommy already loved everything that he knew so far and that was just the surface. 

“When are you seeing him again?” Lucy asked. 

“Soon.”

“And you can’t wait, can you,” Lucy said. 

His face probably said it all. A whole day he’d spent with Evan and he was ready to see him again already. It was going to be far too easy to fall for him, it was as scary as it was exciting and Tommy was ready for it. 

[r0th3freak4rtist]

No hate to you!!! I love your work and I hope you don’t take my words as harsh or hateful!!

I do kinda feel like the comic you made about Pomni and Caine kissing felt off in the ending…Pomni went from suddenly being the one encouraging Caine to hating the relationship in an instant….if you really wanted to go that route, a suggestion would have been that she keeps all that negative feelings inside and ends up only speaking hollow words to Caine, while hurting herself on the inside. She would just ignore him for a while instead of yelling at him five minutes after they kiss…or another route could have been she was the one spiraling before and Caine was the one who gave her encouragement and initiate a kiss, causing a moment of peace, only for Pomni to blow up and feel that it was wrong and just say she wants to feel something, anything, real and saying Caine is everything but real….

Again, no hate!! Love your work!! Please never stop drawing showtime 💖

I'm not offended at all ! I'm really glad to have your opinion 👍🏻

The comic is more like a concept, I mean, it could be canon in the "au" I am imagining, but I am not quite sure if that's exactly how it would go...? IDK if I was clear. Anyway, the kind of relationship I had imagined for Pomni and Caine (while I was makeing that comic), I don't know if everyone understood it but I was inspired by a Steven Universe episode, and I thought of them as Pearl and Rose. More or less, their "love story" would go like that, with Caine finding himself inspired by Pomni's stubbornness with the fact she "can't get out" from that digital world, giving him the desire to break his programming and become "someone real" in a certain way.

But Thoses things you're saying turns out to be very helpfull, so Thx ver much ♡

Ps: In the end, I was trying to show how Caine was aware of how fragile Pomni's mind was becoming, so he decided to return to his programming to protect her...somehow

[f1bordeaux]

If You Cared (Part 4) | mv1

It's been years since you've indulged in a vacation. What better time is there than summer? Your family, the beach house in Italy-it seems perfect. But, for things to be just like good old times, your family needs to invite his. So of course you are having mixed feelings as the boy who broke your heart re-enters your life like nothing happened. Warnings: Suggestive content in the beginning, implied nudity, angst Pairing: Max Verstappen x Reader Word count: 2.3k Poetry style | Story style A/n: One more part left! I decided to do 5 chapters instead of only 4, so the next part is the last part. This was kinda rushed, sorry if you can tell, but I'm leaving soon and I really wanted to finish this up for you guys so you weren't waiting for two months lmao. I'll come back one day and revise it, but ur stuck with this for now. Enjoy! Part 5 will be up tomorrow <;3 Part One|Part Two|Part Three|Part Four|Part Five

“Goodnight!” You waved as your mom and dad sombered down the hall. Finally.

You ran into your room, reaching for your phone on your desk. Max’s contact was the first one to pop up. Come up. You sent.

Victoria and I are still in the living room chatting. I’m trying to get up there. He sent back immediately. 

I’ll be waiting, just come in. Don’t knock. With that, you set your phone down and cracked open your window. A thick, cold gust of wind blew in. It would rain soon, a perfect background noise for what was about to happen. You smirked thinking about it. You smirked thinking about how worked up you made Max on the yacht, just to say in the end, “You have to wait until we get home to do anything more than kiss.”

This would be fun.

The only light in the room was coming from a lamp on your desk. It created a warm, soft, dreamy atmosphere. Your sheets seemed softer than normal, your pillow seemed thicker than normal, the wood on your feet seemed colder than normal. Maybe it was the exhaustion finally setting in from the day on the boat, but your senses were heightened. You wondered what it would feel like to kiss Max again. Would it be different? Would it feel better?

Only a few more minutes would pass before your door opened so quietly that you almost didn’t notice. Max slid in through the crack, a smile on his lips. “Hello.” He said.

“Glad to see you could make it.”

“I wouldn’t pass this up for the world.” He said, sitting next to you on your bed. His arms wrapped around you, pulling your body into a tight embrace. You both fell backwards, giggling as your bodies hit the bed. At once, you both closed your eyes just basking in each other's body heat and feeling your breath on one another's skin.

Your legs dangled off the bed, and when you realized, you pulled them up and curled into Max. He just hummed softly, placing a kiss on the top of your head. It would be so easy to just fall asleep. To just postpone this until later. What if you both just…

“Hey.” He whispered.

You blinked slowly, taking in the now different view. The two of you were now laying normally on your bed, your body being held by Max still. It was raining pretty hard outside. You could hear it clearly through your open window. The lamp was off now and the alarm clock on your desk read 4:55 AM. You remembered it being only midnight.

“Hi.” You whispered back. Max drew stars on your cheek, smiling as you looked up at him with gleaming eyes. You were always so amazed by him, it didn’t take a scientist to figure that out. He could honestly say that he felt the same about you.

“We fell asleep.”

“Yeah,” You tucked your head into his chest. His shirt smelled of sunscreen and salt. “I guess we did.”

“Do you feel alright?”

You just nodded, not pulling your face away from his body. He, however, reached his hand under your chin, pulling your face just a few inches below his. Even in the dark you could see the outline of his features. You could see his lips, his beautiful eyes, his nose, his messy hair. As you studied his face, he studied yours. It was like you both got lost in one another. These moments had been more frequent lately. You enjoyed every second of them.

“If you want something, Max,” You smirked, inching closer. “Just ask.”

You watched his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed. “Can I kiss you?”

“Anytime.”

It happened in a flash, his lips connected to yours in a rushed haze. His hand came to the small of your back pulling your pelvis into his. His other hand gripped the back of your head with such force that a small moan slipped into the kiss. Max loved it. He wanted you to do it again and again. You remained like this for only a few seconds before he flipped you onto your back, pulling away as he did so.

“God,” He whispered. “You look so good. How’d I get so lucky?”

You just looked away, hiding underneath your arm. Max pulled it away, insisting that he wanted to admire your blissed out look. The rain picked up outside. You felt so happy that you could cry. This was a moment you’d been wanting with Max since you were a teenager. Honestly, this made you have a hopeful outlook for the future. He wouldn’t have sex with you then just leave. Surely this was the beginning of something new, something you’d wanted for years.

“Can I take your shirt off?”

You nodded, lifting your arms straight up so he could slide it off. “Now yours,” You instructed.

“Yes ma’am.”

Your body was humming in pure ecstasy as his bare skin was flush against yours. He stared at you for a few seconds, looking at your face, then your body, then your lips. He was practically drooling as he consumed the image before him. Not only was this a dream come true for you, but it was for him, too. He’d always had eyes for you, he’d always wanted to feel and kiss you. As much as he was your first crush, you were his. His first kiss was also you, even though he lied at the time and said he’d been with plenty of girls. He was determined to do things right this time, to not be idiotic or selfish, to not be doubtful or despondent.

Max kissed your neck before moving down to place small kisses on your chest. They were quick, his lips moving to another spot only seconds after attaching to the first. “Max,” You moaned, hand entwined in his hair. “Give me more.”

He looked up, a smile on his face. “More?”

You nodded. “More.”

-

“We’re going to be late!” Your mom yelled from down the hall.

Right, this was not what you were supposed to be doing. “Max, we gotta go.” You gasped, pulling away from him.

Max frowned, adjusting his tie as you walked to your desk to reapply your jewelry. “I was having fun.”

The ‘fun’ he was talking about was having you pushed into the wall of your bedroom as the two of you feverishly made out. This had become rather common in the past few days. Ever since the night on the yacht, the dynamic between the two of you had changed from best friends with a mutual crush to best friends with benefits. Max used these benefits every chance he got. Even if it was ten minutes before a big formal charity ball.

You stepped in front of the mirror to admire your outfit. A long, skin tight, wine-red dress clung to your body. There was a slit up the left leg. Your hair was up, your makeup was done perfectly, you were flawless. Max stepped into the mirror, too, his arms wrapping around your waist and his chin resting on your shoulder.

“You look stunning, baby.” Max whispered in your ear. Your skin began to rise with chills. “So good.”

“You do too, Max.” You turned to kiss him on the cheek. He wore a black suit and tie, but somehow he made the simple outfit look so complex, so elegant, so royal. “Let's go.”

He opened your door for you, extending an arm as you walked by. When the two of you walked down the stairs, everyone looked. It truly was like two members of a royal family were walking into the room. Your dad whistled, your mom and Max’s pulled out their phones to take photos, Victoria smiled, holding onto her husband, Luca and Mia shared-concerning glances? Mia-without a doubt-looked worried. Like, next level worried. Cat just got hit by a car worried.

“You two look phenomenal.” Sophie said.

“Thanks, mom.” Max responded.

The eleven of you were all dressed to impress. The cameras would surely find their way to you, tonight. This charity ball was something you attended every summer, but now that Max was a celebrity who had millions of people watching his every move, cameras were going to be present. So, you all took a little extra time to look good. Luca wondered if any girls would see his photo and ask about him. Max boosted his ego and said, “Maybe.”

When you all got there, the venue was packed. A small, round table had the name cards for you, Max, your siblings and Victoria’s family. Your parents and Sophie were elsewhere, sitting at a table with high-end contributors who were older than dust.

You were on one side of Max, his brother-in-law was on the other. Mia was on the opposite side of the table and still she carried this worrying look. Was she sick? “Mia?” You asked. “Are you alright?”

“I-um,” She looked at Max. He looked away, tapping on the table to get his little nephew's attention. “Yes. I am ok.”

“Are you sure? I can drive you home.”

“Yes, y/n. I’m alright.”

Odd. All night she would furrow her brows, frown, sigh or just be overall sad whenever you and Max whispered in each others ears, whenever his hand came to rest on your knee, whenever he fed you a piece of food, whenever you leaned into his shoulder while laughing. Luca began leaning into her, whispering something that you couldn’t quite hear.

“So, Max. You leave soon, right?” She started up.

He cleared his throat, setting his napkin on the table. “I do, yeah. Four days.”

Your heart began to pang in your chest. How could you have forgotten? The three weeks Max spent with you were almost up. You two would have to go your own ways now. You were hopeful, however. This hurt way less than the first time it happened.

“What comes next for,” Mia waved her hand between the two of you. “This?”

You sighed. Why was she being so rude? “Mia-”

“What do you mean?” Max asked.

She sipped from her wine glass, setting it back down with such force that a bit splashed out over the side. “When you go back to Monaco and she goes back to the states. What happens then? Are you gonna break her heart again?”

“Mia! Enough.” You corrected her. “What is your problem tonight-you know what, no. Not even tonight. You’ve been a bitch to Max for the past week. Why?”

“I don’t know. Why don’t you explain, Max.” She turned her whole body to face Luca who sat to her right. “Or you can explain, Luca.”

Luca almost spit out his water. “Me?”

“What are you talking about?” You asked. You slowly turned to look at Max. His hand came from off your thigh to the wine glass in front of him. He downed the last of the red liquid, almost as if he was refusing to speak.

“Nobody? No takers?” Mia proceeded. “Fine then, I’ll tell y/n.”

At that moment, at that table, your summer crumbled. No longer would the sun feel as warm, would the beach feel as calming, would Elba feel as homely, would Max feel so wonderful. All the worries you had, all the wonders that plagued your mind, all of the what ifs, all of the maybes-everything came crashing down. Everything became a slew of nevers, of goodbyes, of I would just rather forget you’s.

Mia sighed. “Y/n, Luca bet Max that he wouldn’t be able to kiss you this summer. And he took it.”

“He bet what?” You asked. “What do you mean?”

“At dinner on the first night you got up to go to the bathroom. When you were gone, Luca bet Max one hundred dollars that he couldn’t get you to kiss him. Max took the bet and said that he could make it happen.”

Oh. So, was it real? Was any of it real? The first night after dinner when he sat next to you by the pool, was he just trying to win the bet? When he stayed home to watch the sunrise with you, was he just trying to win the bet? When he apologized, was it just a step in his plan to win the bet? Wherever you and him would ride together in his car, go to the beach together, play games together, fall asleep on the couch together-was it for his bet? When you first kissed, did he feel good because of you or because he knew he beat Luca?

“Max,” You practically whispered. “Tell me she’s lying.”

He said nothing. There was now this deafening silence hanging over the table. You felt sick. Why wouldn’t Max just look at you and say that it was fake, that Mia was making shit up?

“Max, please.” You begged. Tears formed in your eyes. “Why wont you say anything?”

“It’s true.” Was all he said. He didn’t look at you, he looked at Luca. So you looked at Luca. He hung his head as soon as you made eye contact with him.

“How could you-why did you-Mia. How’d you find out?” Was your next question.

“Luca was playing video games with one of his friends talking about it,” She said. “And I overheard it and made him explain it all.”

“Luca, how could you do that to me?” Your voice was so quiet, so close to breaking. “You’re my brother.”

“Y/n, I-”

You stood up, chair scratching the floor as you did so. With quick, long steps, you darted out of the dining venue. Mia was quick to follow. Max didn’t get up, neither did Luca. Not that you cared anymore. There was one thing you wanted and it wasn’t an apology from anyone, it was the first flight back to New York.

You’d done it again. He’d done it again.

Max Verstappen once again had broken your heart and didn't bother to watch you cry or attempt to apologize.

How foolish of you to fall once again.