#And half the people there i dont want to see.......
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Guys... I just checked up on the notes on this post (as I do relatively regularly), to block any people attacking me for this post before others see this and get hurt. Here are some things I've spotted:
"they're all scams" no they arent!! some are, but without proper research you cant just decide on a whim that its just some awful person trying to get your money. if you think they are all scams, dont reblog this post because clearly you can't even consider that some people arent liars and i dont want you here
more of these blogs. on this post. asking for donations. sorry honey but you are in the absolute WRONG place. im fairly sure that anyone doing this is a scammer, but like seriously? this is a post for people that dont have the money for it? what outcome do you expect
people mentioning DMs! this is another issue- these people are coming into your private messages. to beg for money and guilt you. I basically only want dms from friends, but if someone needed to tell me something in private that wont hurt me, im not gonna stop them
obviously the haters. wooow. thank you.
the sheer amount of people that skimmed half of the post and made a conclusion about it. you see "i dont want them", see red and get mad about me. there are like? 10 paragraphs worth of detailed and fair information. its not my fault if you decide to send hate without any reason
"free palestine" ITS NOT JUST PALESTINE. IM NOT A ZIONIST OR WHATEVER YOU THINK. i get these asks from middleclass Americans that cant afford healthcare. im not being biased. i dont want them. deal with it
look, this post has caused me so much harm. you guys get that right? every time this post gets bigger I get another ask. i get hate anons a lot. i check this post so that you guys dont have to see the harassment. this post wasnt meant to blow up. it was for me and me only. my blog. not yours. i didnt want over 6000 people to find this. every time this is shared, it becomes more likely that i recieve this hate. and im a mentally ill minor. I cant cope with it like an aloof, stable adult can. if you so desperately need this on your blog, repost without any credit. i might turn off reblogs because at this point, helping 100 people isn't worth the 10 hate anons that come along with it. i cant deal with this. this post cant even be deleted can it? its still reposted and reblogged all over tumblr. its always gonna be traced back to me
so thanks guys, for all your unwanted support. you invited people here that want me dead
Please do not send me asks for donations
Here's why:
I have NO money to give you
I'm not a popular enough blog that I will give you any reach
I am a minor, and most of my followers are too
It makes me feel extremely guilty
Seeing pictures of injuries or hospitals etc are triggering for me (which are in most intro posts for this sort of thing)
They are always worded in a way that makes me feel like I am a murderer if I don't donate
It makes me feel uncomfortable
I said I don't want them, and my boundaries should be respected
I can't tell what is a bot and what isn't (although I know a large portion of them are NOT bots)
I get a lot of spam from this. It is disappointing to see 10 new asks in my inbox just to be the same ask for donations over and over
Please, just respect the fact that I have said this.
If you want this in your pinned post, please don't credit me. You can copy the words or take a screenshot with my username cropped out. You can reblog this but please don't go on about how awful you find it. I get it, but also if you spiral two much you might end up accidentally saying something bad. This post has led to a lot of hate anons and harassment, so I would rather not have too much attention. Thanks...
Edits, boundaries and facts below (probably for the best if you read them too- especially if you are considering sending me hate)
Edit: To all the people reblogging this, I'm sorry you have had to deal with this too. And yes, you can put this in your pinned post! Stay safe <3
Edit 2: I am pro Palestine and want to do everything I can to help but I'm not financially or mentally well enough to do much. I'm not in support of these people dying. Also, this post isn't just about Palestine. It's about ALL asks for donations. I'm not doing favouritism or racism. I just can't deal with it. Don't harass me for expressing boundaries.
Edit 3: Yes, this post might seem controversial. But I did literally make this for my own personal experience and didn't expect it to get more than 12 notes or so. You can agree with this post, pin this post, reblog this post, I don't care really. But don't add opposing views because quite frankly, it's none of your business. It's not my problem and I didn't mean for this post to get so many notes. Edit 2 mostly covered what I'm trying to say here, but don't use the number of notes as an excuse to fight me. I just want a peaceful Tumblr experience. Also, if you are reblogging this, don't trauma dump. I keep notifications on for this post so that I can block people harassing me before shit escalates, so I can see every reblog. You can screenshot and repost if you want to talk about your problems, but honestly its no better seeing people saying "I'm bankrupt and I just got kicked out by my family. I also have a history of abuse and those images are so triggering that I want to die". That doesn't help me. Make your own post to say that. Please
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Random dream saga continues but its before me sleeping so… yeah anyways not keeping track anymore
BUT!!!
Drag Racer! Soap got me on a chokehold right now.
He’s definitely the type of gut to skid down the track with zero care for the street rules, quickly speeding down as fast as possible against his opponents— even scaring them sometimes by going a little to near to them with a drift or a rev.
Drag Racer! Soap totally mods his own cars, spending all of his precious time and money to make it to his taste and to make sure its in peak condition before every race.
Drag Racer! Soap reads people so well that by the time he races them- he’s got them in the palm of his hands. Skidding past them and performing drinks at high speeds right in front of them.
Mechanic! Ghost would always scold Johnny for altering the fixes he made on his car and for the amount money he spends on materials to “fix it up” himself.
Mechanic! Ghost soon becomes a part of his “team” that Johnny was making (for some reason) and is the consultant to the secrets of making Soap’s car peak and not like any other.
Sponsor! Price is a rich man that loves making his bets on racing, and one day sees Soap and his races— immediately betting on him and winning more than half pot all for him.
Sponsor! Price shares those winnings with Soap— who is more than happy to get extra funds, in which Price notices, so he gives him an offer with him as his sponsor.
Sponsor! Price shakes on their terms and is providing the best services and facilities for Soap and his team to use.
Strategist! Gaz is both an information collector and a fellow racer Soap managed to convince to join him and his crew.
Strategist! Gaz was the one providing Soap with all the necessary connections, from him being a rookie racer to an all-star well-known racer that’s broken records.
Strategist! Gaz races Soap and challenges him often, not to just test his car’s continuous and never ending updates— but to also show off his own skills that he picked up as a racer, sometimes being able to smoke Soap in the ass.
(And maybe i dont know, have you also as an unnamed infamous racer but currently under the guise as their cheerleader— wanting to know the secrets behind Soap’s car and if it so happened to be, the rest of his team as well)
#sevs yaps#no beta we die like soap#unedited#crackfic#cod mw2#cod x reader#tf 141 x reader#tf 141 x you#tf 141 poly#soap x reader#price x reader#ghost x reader#gaz x reader#im goin un poco loco ty
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…look for the light
joel miller x f!reader | 2.7k
pairing: joel miller (tlou) x fem reader
content: you're tired of hearing that old slogan from the fireflies...but maybe you should give it a chance.
notes: 18+ minors dni, eventual smut for the girlies (smfh + side eye) also unprotected in the heat of the moment unfortunately…dont be like them! angst because it's my specialty, mental health depictions (illusions to death, depression, etc. do not read if that's a serious trigger) this takes place in the time jump between tlou 1 and tlou 2…tons of existential crisis otw, grief, everything unfortunately…and i still don’t believe in proofreading
also this is the longest i've written so far...of course it involves joel too...hashtag need that.
࿐ ࿔*:·゚🍂🌿༄。° ° 。༄🌿🍂·゚*࿔ ࿐
You hadn’t arrived in Jackson on your own. At the time, you were one of a family of four. As time passed, the number dwindled along with your will to live. Back when everything was normal--or as normal as it could’ve been in a world that corrupt, you saw a therapist. You knew it was in their career description to listen. It helped sometimes, others it didn’t. Overall, though, you’d say they’d done a shit job if at the first sign of loss, you wanted to cease to exist.
When you weren’t overthinking, you found yourself on patrol. It became ironic that you rejoiced at the sight of a fresh dead body. Knowing that the person before you had made a mistake you could now avoid lit a small fire in you. The flame didn’t last long though, quickly blown out every day with a speed just as fast as its ignition.
To be candid, there was this guy. Well, this man. You couldn’t do him the injustice of calling him anything but a man. You saw him often--sometimes to himself, others with this girl. No matter the circumstance, though, he rarely spoke. You liked that. Something about people who acknowledged their capability to not speak made you extremely happy. Silence is a valid option.
As an observer, you learned his name was Joel, the girl Ellie. They’d arrived about the same time as you, which explained the lack of interaction. This was, of course, aside from glances, the fake half-ass smiles you exchanged, and your time on patrol together.
Unfortunately, he was the worst. It absolutely burned you up. That, and the fact that even when he annoyed you, you wanted to have extremely private time with him.
The first time you actually spoke, he’d found you by a stream. You didn’t know he was showing the girl, Ellie, something that day. But as you lay with your eyes closed, taking in the sunlight--a shadow cascaded over you.
You opened one eye to see who’d stepped in the way. Before you could get a word out, he spoke, “You from Jackson?”
“Who’s asking?” You created a sort of visor over your eyes with your hand.
He huffed, “someone from Jackson.”
Resuming your position on the ground, you spoke, “You some sort of Jackson cop? You seem like the cop type.”
He scoffed. You realized he did that a lot, not speaking, making annoyed sounds. Not answering questions directly.
“You should get back.”
With a quirked brow, you replied, “I’m good, thanks.”
“Wasn’t really a question.”
“Didn’t say it was.”
By this point you’d opened your eyes again, surveying the man. You kind of felt bad for being snippy but honestly, he interrupted your “alone with my thoughts” time. Some people can cope without thinking of the same incidents in a constant loop. Not you--you liked the hurt. It reminded you to be safe. To not trust people.
Even in that position, though, you observed the man. He looked rough, but in a way that motioned toward experience. There were hints of gray in his hair, yet he didn’t look old. His shirt was slightly opened, tattered. The sheen of sweat covering him made him all the more alluring in the sunlight.
“Are you gonna get the hell up and get a move on or what?”
You didn’t know him at the time, or that he was trying to surprise Ellie on her birthday. Even worse, that on this day, he’d thought of his daughter. He was coping. Anyone or anything out of place was shattering the amazing plan he had made to go a day without feeling like a disappointment.
He didn’t know that your “alone with my thoughts” time often consisted of thinking of your family. You’d willed yourself to shut your eyes tight, picturing those you lost; it was the only time you could see them. If you got lucky, you could dream of them. If you were unlucky, you’d see images of their mangled bodies.
It seemed that even awake, your luck was the fucking worst.
With swift and silent movements, you stood and turned to leave. Avoiding eye contact was the only way to hide the tears prickling in your eyes.
“Dude,” a young voice called out, “you hurt her feelings!”
“Fuck, I didn’t mean to, Ellie!”
Like you said, he was the worst. But you definitely took it to the next level at every opportunity.
That’s how you found yourself on patrol with Joel giving him the silent treatment. It was customary at this point. If you two went alone, he would bark out orders, you’d follow if you felt like it. If someone else happened to be there, you two would rely on an unspoken rule to only speak to them and not one another. It worked…until today.
Entrapment wasn’t a new feeling for you. Often on patrol specifically, you would have to maneuver your way out of dangerous positions to return. But the realization of there being nobody to return to hit you today. So even when Joel and Jesse said to stay back, you proceeded. It was a miracle none of you three were bitten or worse. Your reckless act left the trek back to Jackson completely silent.
When you reached the gate safely, Jesse spoke first. It was obvious he was shaken up but even more annoyed with you. “Kinda fucked up you did that. Did you even consider that you would put me and Joel in danger?”
“Nobody told you to follow me, to be honest.”
“I don’t give a fuck! When we leave, we work together… or we don’t go.”
Joel shook his head silently, observing the way Jesse continued to rip into you. You continued the back and forth until Jesse hit extremely low.
“Look, I know you lost people…I remember them-”
You spoke over him, a finger out in warning, “Don’t-”
“And just because you feel like there is no worth left in your sorry ass life, doesn’t mean I wanna die right now. Not for you. Not on a stupid patrol mission.”
It felt like he punched you. Square in the face. The way your breath left you was unlike anything you’d ever experienced. Not since the day you realized your entire family was gone. As a result of that day, you grew accustomed to silent walks back to your house. You got used to the sounds your house made between the silence.
You didn’t hear Joel’s faint footsteps and persistent calls to you as he followed behind. It wasn’t until the unusual sound of your door not immediately closing behind you that you turned around to see him there.
“You didn’t even stop him, you just stood there like you always do!”
His signature sigh and no response. Just a sort of expectant look on his face.
“Get. Out. Please.”
You begged him to leave, your voice breaking. It was somewhere in the midst of you slowly falling toward the floor that he reached you. He knew what you were experiencing right now. The dull panging in your body, a faint scream at you, and a feeling that of anyone it should’ve been you to go, not your family.
He didn’t want to admit that he recognized the bubble of sadness around you, as he’d be forced to acknowledge his own. The least he could do was to comfort you in a way he had yearned for when he lost Sarah. When he lost Tess. When he thought Tommy was gone. But he failed, as he always did, crying with you.
He urged you to quiet your sobs, “It’s okay, shhh.”
His attempts at soothing you were a sort of reassurance to himself--that it was okay. It could be okay. He eventually grasped your face, too, forcing you to look at him. He wanted you to believe him, despite the lack of conviction in his voice. The eye contact shocked you both. You had never seen the man cry let alone been this close to him. From a distance, it's easy to think that any dark-colored eye is just black but his…
“Brown…” You mumbled incoherently.
“What?”
“Your eyes. I’ve never really looked at ‘em.”
He was confused, “yeah, brown.”
“It's just that, it's easy to overlook things…” when you’re so stuck in the past, you wanted to say. But you left it. You had a feeling he understood.
It was hard to not lean into his touch, even harder to not want to be near him. He noticed you staring, but there was still so much left unsaid. Thinking about it, he never really allowed himself to carry out a conversation with you. But there was an unspoken attraction between you. It was easy to minimize said attraction to one where you needed each other. It was suffice to say that it was more tantamount to the way particles were reliant on one another. Even more, the way symbiosis occurred. Despite the urge to push one another away, you knew that you did, in fact, need each other.
If not for a long time, at least for now.
Without a word, you pushed up a bit, meeting your lips with his. He was obviously taken aback; there was so much behind the kiss…but he couldn’t bring himself to care.
You pulled at his shirt, that damned shirt he always liked to wear. Always opened slightly, but never enough to give you what you needed.
“Can I?” You broke the kiss and motioned toward the buttons, breaking eye contact for a second.
Joel let out a characteristic sound, affirming you, “Mhm, yeah…”
You moved your hands lower, stopping at the close of his top. “Are you sure?”
The man understood you. The shirt acted as a sort of metaphorical barrier between the two of you. As much as it scared the both of you to cross that line, there was an unspoken respect for one another.
He noticed your apprehension, bearing the task of taking down that wall for you both.
Joel unbuttoned his shirt, slowly, intentional in his action.
He watched you shiver, “I haven’t…I want…I mean-”
That same alluring stare maintained its gaze at you, Joel allowing you the time to process and say what you wanted to.
“I want to feel…be close to you. Not because I want to use you or something…I just,” You searched for words that seemed to escape you.
His words interrupted your thought process, a gentle but calloused hand returning to your face.
“You don’t have to have a reason. Use me.”
That was enough to make you attack him full force. You’d thought of each other so long that there was an urgency. There wasn’t time for niceties or the pleasantries of preparing yourself for him. You just wanted each other immediately.
The trail of clothing that led to your room was something out of one of those old movies you watched. Before everything went to shit. You allowed yourself a smirk at the thought--Joel hot on your trail.
Joel observed how clean your place was. He was one to keep tidy, too. Not for the thought of expecting someone, but for lack of people except him. There were few things he held near and dear, so a large space like his home was often unused save for his bed and couch. It seemed you echoed this thought, and that made him even more eager. Knowing you had so much in common made him insatiable.
You found yourselves kissing again, seeking comfort in each other. It was sweet and slow. You couldn’t handle it, the lack of him.
“Joel, please,” you backed towards the bed. Now fully available for him. With you demanding everything be so structured to protect yourself these days, you were willing to let go for once.
He didn’t say anything, he never did. But the way he hovered over you, maintained eye contact and pushed into you said enough.
His pace was somewhere between painfully slow and slower. He felt your wetness, the way you were ready for him already, and it made him harder. He knew he wouldn’t last long if he went any faster.
You reached up, pushing the hair out of his face. It was a distraction from how good it felt, even the purposely slow pressure, but you wanted more.
You bucked up into him. He hissed and grunted in your ear, that’s new.
The southern drawl was even more apparent on the man. “Shit. I’m tryin’ to…make it last,” his head met your shoulder, breath against your skin. “Cant.”
“Don’t.”
You couldn’t see his face, but you figured a look of surprise flashed there. It only took a second for him to pick up the pace. Those grunts filled the room; his wordless communication was now music to your ears.
You continued that way for not much longer--but the high was unlike any other. He reached down to rub between you, making sure you’d finish. The thought of him caring about you in that way and the pointed pressure of his strong hands doing so was enough to make your body pulse against him.
He pushed you back down, keeping you still, “Don’t move, baby.”
It was a lot.
His movements became even more erratic, but it felt so damn good.
“Where should I?”
You arched a brow, “You want a little Joel running around here somewhere?”
He chuckled, so sweetly, too. Fuck.
“Wow, even full like this you still got a mouth on ya. I’m gonna work on that.”
He pulled out suddenly, and before you could even complain, latched his mouth onto you until he finished and your voice went dry from calling out his name.
Okay…
The usual urge to freshen up never came. The smell of Joel was all over you, and you liked it that way. You breathed in and out, processing what happened, fighting to stay awake. The sound of the man’s snores was enough to keep you awake in itself.
It wasn’t until you heard the snores stop and Joel stirring that you spoke again.
“I’m sorry.”
Joel turned his head toward you, clearly still half asleep, “For?”
“For that day, in the woods, when we first met. I was mean.”
“I understand. A random guy shows up asking questions. You get defensive. It happens to the best of ‘em.”
There was silence. One long enough that Joel sat up to get out of bed--you stopped him when you spoke.
“I was thinking of my family,” a pause, and with it, your eyes burned a bit. “I don’t know why I act the way I do. I don’t know why I’m… harsh. Part of me thinks it's because they are always looking at who I have become and are so disappointed. The other part of me thinks that they don’t see me at all…or that they can’t…that there’s nothing more after this. I dunno which feels worse but I know it drives me fucking crazy.”
He silently reached for your hand, deliberate in his response. “I like to think that the big moments we share with the people we lose are more important than anything after.” He nodded, assuring himself before continuing. “Good or bad, their memory only survives as long as we are thinking of them.” He paused to look toward his wrist, almost out of muscle memory. “Our families may not be here, but even mentioning them proves that they were real. I know my baby girl was real, I can’t fail her by going on like she wasn’t.” He inched closer to you, “If it takes me being sad to know that there was someone I loved here before, I’ll stomach it any day.”
You nodded slightly.
“Thanks.”
A hum resonated from him, and he made his way out of your house. He was elusive as always, and definitely just as attractive..if not more so now. But his words stuck with you.
That stupid catchphrase from the Fireflies…you’d heard it often. The aftershocks of the group persisted even after they’d slowly dwindled in numbers. When you’re lost in the darkness…
Wiping your eyes, you pulled the covers back a bit more. A lot of time had passed, but for the first time in a while, you didn’t feel like it was ripped from you.
After a few minutes, the Sun started to rise, heat emanating from your window. You felt the warmth slowly reach your face--closing your eyes.
For once, you’d look forward to sleep, and even more, the possibility of dreaming.
#angst#jaggedamethyst#joel miller#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#joel miller smut#joel miller fic#tlou#tlou fic#joel tlou#the last of us#joel the last of us#joel miller x y/n#joel miller fanfiction#tlou fanfiction#the last of us hbo#tlou joel
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an update:
hey friends a lot of people have been asking where ive been on other socials and im sorry for being m.i.a and ignoring everyone’s worries. im not getting into it right now and i dont know if i want to talk about the details publicly.
i deleted tumblr from my phone about two and a half weeks ago and ive had a friend keeping a queue going on main for me. it might be that way permanently now i don’t know. I don’t know that I want to come back to tumblr if im being honest. a lot of things happened and i just can’t handle seeing certain people anymore so i’ve been hanging out on two of the more safer socials where tumblr people people generally leave me alone. not that im upset with you any of you or anything it’s more of a personal relationship and it just turned me off of basically everything and i just can’t handle a lot right now.
i didn’t want to stop posting my own content for obvious reasons but i really can’t bring myself to come back it’s too hard and my heart can’t handle it right now. i also haven’t taken any new photos or anything and as of right now i don’t really feel super comfortable in sharing my body in that way. situations have made me feel disgusting as a person and i can’t look at myself. im trying to post more on ig to boost myself back up but i don’t know my self image is kind of ruined now. plus i’ve lost 15lbs from stress and inability to eat because of it and with how many people already harass and bully me for how scrawny i am i don’t want to subject myself in my current mental state to even the possibility of anyone saying anything.
but like i said i have a friend running main for me and i might have them run this account too and my pepper page just because i do want to go back to making content i just dont know if i can handle posting or being in certain spaces right now.
on top of what im currently dealing with in my personal life this is just a really hard time for me in general because of the holiday season and close to the anniversary of my best friends death so i tend to shut down a little anyway it’s just my entire world came crashing down again and im honestly starting to give up on even existing. i know im being melodramatic and i need to suck it up and just go back to status quo it’s just really hard this time and i cant force myself into a positive headspace like i used to even for a second. i have honestly never felt this empty and i barely know who i am or what my worth is anymore.
i dont know if i’ll turn my asks back on. my friend offered to answer anything for me but its better for my mental health if i dont because i know people will ask questions and i dont trust myself to not completely go off on a tangent. im sorry i know im rambling but i feel like a proper update with zero room for misunderstanding is needed and i dont want to sugarcoat or lie to any of you to make myself seem or feel better cuz i respect the hell out of you guys and you deserve honesty if for nothing else. and i appreciate so fucking much you all continuing to support me and hype me up through all the bullshit life keeps throwing at me.
im mostly on ig and threads right now and on threads im talking about games and movies with new people im meeting and it’s been really helping through shit. if you follow me on snap you saw me say im thinking about deleting everything. my accounts are still up and as long as my friend still wants to help me out i’ll at least have a queue running on main but i’ve deleted every social app other than ig and threads. i wholeheartedly planned on deleting snap last night but it’s the only way some of you get any updates from me so for now i wont delete it but i might make a new one instead just to get away from situations that are bringing me down. we’ll see. if I make a new snap i’ll post it everywhere n put it in my bios. that being said i don’t have a private/nsfw snap and i wont make one im sorry. i still wont sell content outside of what i post on peppers and i wont do customs im sorry. maybe in the future but right now i need to focus on myself and getting out of this headspace before i do anything else.
but truly thank you for sticking with me and just genuinely being the best crew around. i promise to try my best to get out of this mess of a headspace im in as quickly as possible and im really sorry for basically abandoning everything again but i really am hopeful for the future and just trying to focus on myself and my happiness at the moment 🙏🏻🧡
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if we could stay connected, just like this
#ok last orbit niigo post im emubrained again and also i miss leoneed#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#mizuki5 spoilers#proseka#mizuki akiyama#mizu5#nightcord at 25:00#hurray !#meltdown released an amazing translation of the event so i read it and had my final cathartic transgender cry about it#and now i have ~4 assignments due on friday so i have to stop drawing mizuki. sad.#i recommend everyone watch meltdown's translation#please. its very good and better than the mtls floating around#i Get why people wanted to see it translated asap like i Get it i didnt understand half of the wordplay or kanji but like . wah#its so crazy how this event breached containment n how many people are rooting for mizuki even tho they dont play the game so i just#think its a shame that the translation everyones reading isnt really accurate/lacks the nuances.. Ok sorrynits a good event.#ive just been thinking abiut that for a few days and i love talking in tags. Adios#real Orbit heads will know this is an Heartorbit reference (that tarot card sketch i did almost 2 years ago and said i would finish)#(i havent finished shit)
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Bonus round! Do you use a queue tag?
#ive been super curious about this because people seem to have really strong opinions on the queue! so many people seem to HATE it#but i love using the queue! i dont really know exactly why i like it so much- i started using in like... 2016 and its a fundamental part of#my tumblr experience now. i think i started off just using it for offline hours so id hit most my american mutuals (/ for aes posts)#but these days basically everything goes in my queue (cept time sensitive things & like. current hype and original posts-#anything 'normal' posting is in the queue)#idk it feels. nice to me! i like to spread out my posting and not rb 30 things in half an hour and then disappear for the rest of the day#esp since my spaces are so circular- the same post runs on my dash a dozen times minimum. and i get to put it on ur dash a week late!!!#and its so nice to have small interactions with mutuals in incompatible timezones; to open up my notifications in the morning#and go: oh! my friends were here <3#its such a Part of the tumblr experience for me i dont think i could ever truly change now. maybe switch to timed queueing#but my availability changes so much i prefer to just. know i guess#but (i am so sorry for all that) im curious about how other people feel!!!!!! itd be so interesting to hear abt why people do/do not like i#i know some people like the experience of spamming and going. some people think it makes this seem to much like influencing or whatever#everyone has their reasons and i want to know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#nyxtalks#poll#queue#no see answers option because you must fall into one of these
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Uuuh I told mom I'd go home for the rest of the week and im.... Mmmmm regret
#miranda talking shit#I mean i got nothing else to do technically. And magnus will be off work tomorrow and only work friday#And oliver is sick and off during the weekend ... So i wont see them either... Theres Fabian but atm i think hes tired of me#Idk if hes just tired in general or if its bc of mt... Situation and hes jealous so dont want to talk much but yeaa#And maya is spending new years with parents so probably cant see her this weekend either...#I want to see mom and my old cat but brother and dad... No nope. Going home always gets me in unstable moods#I havent cried now for many dqye but i guarantee ill be crying first night home . The place have too many bad memories#Most complicated relationship for me is literally my childhood home . Like the place but i remember too much bad#And half the people there i dont want to see.......
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They are the Villains in the Story Emma if yourecwith thrm thats you. I feel gor your family and friend if they have to suffer forvegat uou did. The rest of uour family woild never ecer hsve gotten involved. Thpse smericans ate totten in the new year those people who got you involved are dead all if them. We know eho they ate now one by one ill kill dvery kast kne of then. Then my ikrsinans go iver to france. So ill see you doin its settled dong say another fuckn word yo anyone tilmyiu come see me. Not a fuckn word anyone asks you snything Emma say you hitta fo this. If not i gotta do ehat i gotta do. Ill start by hinting trans people in Toronto. So i guess your stupid fucon idiog team lost rh. Uou want my protction you want ny help just like ehen you scr in kne of uour idiot movies it costs. You font come up and torch your old mans vineyard. See ya soom. Catherine srnd herbon her i wanna see her soon or you and I are leaving this earth together. Emilys right Emma. You shouldnt have done what you did . Emily is right not you.. im stating yo think shes way smarter yhsn youll ever be. Youre half french they have a heart now you gotta act likd you have one too. Its no joke wotld ill hamner her into oblivion. See ya soon Emma. If not ill always love you but now youre becoming a serious diatraction to me. Do if you font maje good uou gotta go. Period its not a question of if but when. You love me anyway come see me vome meet the face of God. You wsnt your smetican feiends shot talk to them. For now dont soeak to snyone about yhos ever vbegore you speak to me. See ya doin ir i eont rver see uiu anywhere. No your soul will be cast. Uour good family snd friends even if i kill them will go on. Theyll be sad like i am now when uiu never show up.
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Would do the entire dialogue but drawing Bonnie crying is the bane of my existence! HA
Anyway my reaction to when this entire dialogue was over was just. Hihi.
#in stars and time#isat#pipposketchdump#isat fanart#isat siffrin#isat bonnie#isat boniface#also don't they kinda say everything they want Sif to do?#at least on the first half of it.#like#i want to hug you like i do with isa and mira#i want you to talk to me about things specially about your eye#it is my fault that youre half blind now#talk to me. blame me for it. dont just leave it in silence. dont look at it like it means nothing.#in fact#look at me I'm not a child#look at me#but hey I have a hard time reading people#specially kids#so take it with a grain of salt#but I cant look at all that dialogue and not see it like a desperate scream of PLEASE STOP SEEING ME AS A CHILD AND TALK WITH ME ABOUT THAT#I'M HERE. I CAN HEAR YOU.#LOOK. AT. ME.#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers
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The one you gravitate towards the first time playing any cRPGs. Included Pillars of Eternity races and Divinity Original Sin ones.
#baldur's gate 3#divinity original sin 2#pillars of eternity#dnd#baldur's gate#separated out the tieflings since i know these will be a popular option and i didn't want to lump them with weird humanoids since#i dont think that many people go for those and i want to see my fellow weirdos#bc yes now that im replaying bg2 and pillars and divinity i am playing exclusively as either half-orcs or aumaua or the undead.....#nothing screams im nonbinary more than my first race choices in a given video game being everything but human or elf#dungeons and dragons#poll#polls
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"saiki is too mean to toritsuka-" i dont give a shit, he shouldve beat the shit out of him actually
#'he almost broke his arm-!' ok why didnt he snap it on half#does this count as character hate#i like him as a character i just dont like when people see him as a victim#'how he treats toritsuka is proof that saikis a sadist' or maybe have u considered that MOST normal people want to beat on perverts#just saying#uve never thought about breaking a perverts arm?? psh lame#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#meows post
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i know i am not at all a big creator i'm just some guy with some internet access and an account and friends but even then all of this, fandom, internet fun, its all become so incredibly insufferable to be in? the only reason i made a tumblr was so i could post my art online and maybe get some validation and silly for it, and because there were strangers on the internet who would share the same opinions as me and we could interact via shared interests and love for content we both enjoy but never actually ever know each other personally and as someone whos been in the undertale fandom since i was like. a genuine child, how did fandom culture go from fun and joyous to genuinely exhausting and like walking through a landmine? i understand trying to weed out all the genuinely shitty people, but like, atleast on my side with my friends, and of course one of the bigger online presences in them being kia, why is it so unimaginable that people are friends with eachother outside of fandom discourse that doesnt hold a single candle to anything in real life? i'll tell you this much; whatever shit my friends like to draw doesn't do anything to me in the real world all of this "blocklist" shit (which, by the way, never has to be made public, if you really want a blocklist make it in private or dm people if they want it), is so dangerous and it's absolutely insane and incredible to me that nobody in the rabid anti spaces can see it as a genuine danger that has real world consequences until things don't exactly go "the way they wanted" why are you airing out, generally average and pretty fucking normal, people and artists around on a list expecting whoever's on the internet to see it and have an ounce of etiquette? and, actually, why are you even willing to put out public lists in the first place? does it not fill you with regret? i fucking hate dreammare as a ship and i dont like the shit that people would consider proship, if anything i'm pretty normal, i just dont give a fuck about what people do in their own little spaces because i can choose not to go in there. so why are you choosing to put me out on a list as if i personally hurt you? like i drew incest brothers and sisters kissing with nsfw written all over it or some shit? brother the only social media that i post publicly on for the world to see is this one!! tldr please leave me the fuck alone and have some idk, sympathy? i dont look on tumblr much, i'm busy you know, living on my own barely a year after turning 18, its not very fun running the risk of harassment, and knowing that people are stalking you and your friendgroup constantly over shit that doesn't fucking matter to you
#beef meister#this was kind of all over the place#im just fucking tired??? i dont know dude#its like people see “oh god someone doesnt want to be apart of exhausting hateful discourse!! they obviously ship incest!!!”#have you ever considered that maybe someone just doesnt like hate#or hating others#i dont care about what people think of me and i dont think anyone cares about what i think of them unless i know them personally#i only follow people on tumblr for their artwork and content because it caters to my interests#shocking announcement that someone doesnt let internet drama run their life and how they view their relationships with others#its also annoying#considering the fact most of the people doing dumb shit like this are younger than me#but at their age i still had half the fucking brain to you know#be a decent human being#i genuinely cannot understand nor fathom how you have the energy to hold so much hate for people you will never meet irl#i dont even have the energy to hate my abusers bro what fent are you all taking#rant over i guess#leave me out of your stupid fucking chronically online drama that i literally dont care about!!!!! i use tumblr to bring myself joy#so leave me out!!!!!!!!!!!! dont fucking talk about me regarding that shit nor ask me about it i dont FUCKING CARE!!!!!!!!!
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#agatha#agatha all along#can you tell that im so so soooooo bitter about the finale#like i get that some people loved it#good for you#i dont and i'm dying on this hill#yall have every right to be happy about it and talk about how happy you are about it!! but pls keep to your lane#i spent two hours going through the agatha all along tag and there were a handful of people going#the finale wasnt that bad look at the bright side you should be happy about how it ended#bitch. dont tell me how i should enjoy my media#why did she see the darkhold in the cradle and why that reaction?#'is the how nicky died' i dont understand how that prompted her to take such a huge risk#also??? why does rio wanna see agatha die so badly??#and when she did die where was rio? all that build up and fighting without any conclusion to it??#rio just disappeared no conclusion no confrontation not even a word before she kissed Rio and gave her what she wanted which is her death#the build up was really good but the pay off really fell flat and felt rush and agatha ended up feeling like shes sidelined in her own show#even when she had tons of screen time! it just fell flat like agatha deserves better she deserved change and growth and development#she deserved confrontation and facing her feelings not all this continued avoidance and shifting focus onto Billy#she's done too much to have this half assed conclusion to her arc that was built to set up someone elses story like the direction it went#was so gross like every other character had really well written and developed story arcs and conclusions and hers was just???? deflated???#im not even asking for a full on backstory about their relationship bc the show isnt about agatha x rio lmao#them having a happy ending doesnt make narrative sense. what im asking is simply tie up the threads they sewed into the narrative
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crackship okay
having fun + playing idk
#dont judge me#my friends and i thought this would be a good crackship#half serious about this#dfac#abibaz#those are the only two fandom tags im using i dont want alot of people seeing this i will die maybe#have fun i guess bye bye#cw blood
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Love deeply platonic relationships where two individuals are practically platonic soulmates who care for each other deeply and have changed each other’s life significantly.
Hate it when the fandom sees is as romantic tho.
#its a huge annoyance of mine#proud bakudeku togachako platonic believer#maybe its cause im getting sick of the high amount of romance (canon and fanon) that is literally everywhere#when do i get to have my platonic soulmates that are portrayed correctly#like im sorry i dont look at their relationship and immediately wash it down ti romance#especially when its all ‘implied’ when their relationship has been so hevuoy traumatising they can’t be romantic because thats not how#theyve functioned this entire time#can this apso apply to lava#like lego ninjago lava#like yh no i aint hating on any of these shippers for any of these ships#but oh my GOD i need content that would fit canon#no i dont think theyd hide away in a corner and make out#and no i dont think theyd use pet names#except kai he definitely would call people baby randomly#and toga seems like teh type to say sweetheart or cutie often#but like in the way people say in a platonic sense#platonic#platonic soulmates#ugh i love platonic soulmates#its so mych cuter then romantic half the time when im looking for fluff#like please no i dont wanna see people making out and being committed i want people cuddling with no weirdness#this cant just be a me thing#please 😭
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"Seungmin would be SO hot if he got muscle like, can you imagine?" You would be hotter if you shut your mouth but we can't always get what we want so <3
#the amount of times ive seen this exact comment or sentiment over the past 6ish months in particular#truly pissing me off <3#like first things first- hes already handsome so if you dont see that... its fine. we all have different tastes but also be quiet <3#but like we know first hand from him that he isnt particularly interested in the gym and working out#hes not a changbin. its not his thing- he goes to keep up stamina for live shows#and the fact hes been very specific in saying so any time anyone mentions him working out and going to the gym is so like......#its kinda obvious that hes doing a polite 'please dont hassle me about getting bigger' so he makes sure to always go Its For Endurance#and yet i still see this and also. um theres other members who are muscley so why does seungmin also have to follow that route?#like if you want muscle theres people you can go look at... but also half these people cant even identify actual healthy muscle#vs. someone being so skinny that they have no fat on them and somehow think thats real muscle so like lol#its been so specifically the past half a year tho like whats that about why#its really one of those be quiet im so tired#well on the otherhand i was so stressed about my doctors appointment but now annoyance took the worries place so 🤷♀️#like its funny how X should lose weight comments are recognised for being shitty but the 'x should totally change his physique' is chill tho#like if seungmin organically of his own accord ever becomes a muscle bro bc /he/ wants that than for sure i'll be like Woo go seungmin !!#but only if he wants it. not the fans being annoying not bc of staff or beauty standards not bc of the other guys
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