#And also in that some trans people are in fact

[ammstify]

So I wanted to (for funsies!) throw in my two scents as a moot who has been involved in the Arcane fandom, but like not a vocal member other than some reblogs?

[THIS IS A LONG ONE APOLOGIES :'3] One of the biggest discourses currently right now, in the fandom, besides some of the fumbling with the more politically intricate storytelling, is COMPLETELY about the fact that the two male characters, Viktor and Jayce (Jayvik), are being shipped at all. Quite a few people have harassed fans and folks for merely suggesting the idea, some being hardcore straight shippers of Jayce and Mel (Jaymel), while others are (sadly) the shippers of the lesbian couple Caitlyn and Vi (or Caitvi).

At lot of this is focusing on the insistence of what is "canon", with many folks putting jayvik shippers down for that, along with viewing them as "degenerates" or "gross straight women fetishizing gay men" or "ignoring the canon lesbian ship willfully", which is all.... Just wrong.

A lot of the fans I've seen are queer, with one of my favorite artists @/hexhomos, being a trans man who prior to Arcane, has extensive HISTORY about shipping the League of Legends versions of Viktor and Jayce, but also minimally Cait and Vi. There are also other artists who are trans, lesbians, nonbinary, and many other forms of queer too, so the statement of it being just "straight women" or "degenerates" just... Bothers me so hard.

Hell, even I'M QUEER, and happily ship Viktor and Jayce, because their story was intrinsically romantic to me and reminded me of the soulmates sort of relationship Vash and Wolfwood have in Trigun.

And truthfully, it sucks that they can't be canon like Cait and Vi, who also have a very interesting, complicated, and beautiful relationship where the fight but work together to fix things. It makes me happy though that fans from League, or those who began with Arcane did get to see these ladies finally be together in animation, and trust me I was on the edge of my seat waiting for their first kiss and first time together!

And, it also sucks you don't see much of them, because you kinda have to brave through Tumblr or Bluesky's algorithmic waters to find content of them! Which in turn, creates this false view that folks are lifting the (mostly) noncanon gay relationship above the canon lesbian relationship and making them seem more important, which in turn makes many fans of Caitvi, or lesbian/female fans feel lesser represented. But it shouldn't have to be that way!

As for Jayce and Mel [MINOR SPOILERS], I did ship them before S2 and its ending, and realized in episode 6 that the two of them basically had broken up! They vocally disagree with each other, and while it isn't spelled out, they're no longer romantically or sexually interested in one another, and decided to simply go forward as allies in war, and continue their lives focusing on their goals.

And lastly, for the insistence it's not canon well... It's not my fault that the writers made a seemingly queer-like, romantic, soulmate relationship between two men, who's lives are entwined in every universe. Like if you made Viktor a woman, or switched him with Mel, pretty much everyone would go "OH MY GOD ITS ROMANTIC!"

But yeah, there's my two cents. It sucks to see that people view only straight or lesbian relationships as more "okay" (especially only if the latter is considered 100% canon, cause trust me, some folk in this world try to insist vi is bisexual and into jayce/men to this day), and I hope that one day we CAN have both f/f and m/m relationships further normalized in media and taken more seriously alongside m/f relationships and other queer relationships.

(also for the fanfic well... A majority of mainstream content usually is centered around M/F ships, but I'm genuinely shocked that F/F fanfic is so low... I guess its just more popular in the fanfic sphere to write M/M fanfic :'3)

reblog if you prioritize women to the point you mock people for liking m/f or m/m ships. im insane

[butchsenshi]

that one post about how tme/tma is useless specidically because 'transphobes arent just gonna STOP BEING TRANSPHOBIC because you tell them youre tme!' is really insane to me because . they do . they have on multiple occasions . the amount of time ive gotten transmisogynistic hate and have told them im not transfem theyve immediately softened up and stopped being as violently nasty to me . if they continue to be its usually because they think im lying about not being transfem

like . yeah there are some transmisogynists who are Also nasty to transmascs but acting like NOBODY EVER changes their tune once they learn youre a different type of trans is very fucking ignorant and proves to me you have no idea what youre talking about lol

this also ignores the fact that these people only count getting hate comments on the internet as #real transphobia but we have to take baby steps with them i guess .

[doberbutts]

I’m kinda new to tumblr so idk if this is like, improper, but that recent shit about your folks sucking was rough. just like, to read. I can’t even imagine how hard it sucks to be there right now. but idk I wanted to shoot an anonymous ask and just be like “hey you’re gonna make it” which I know you already know but figured it would be nice to hear from someone else too, so. hang in there fellow trans person and fuck your family’s behavior

Oh I never did really fully explain what was happening did I?

My great aunt died on December 1 and it wasn't particularly unexpected (she was very old, and her husband died a few years ago on Dec 3) but it was quite sudden and without much warning. I drove to my parents' house to mourn and help with funeral arrangements and it was my first time visiting since right before covid and also since starting medical transition. I figured I'd be enduring a lot of misgendering and the like but wanted to be there for my aunt because I had a lot of wonderful memories of celebrating Christmas at her house with her and my uncle.

An assortment of little comments added up over the next 24 hours until my mother effectively called me stupid unprompted to my face as I drove her from my sister's house back to her own, because I'd said that my niece and nephew were quite smart and that wasn't an abnormality within our family. This is referring to my graduating at 16 and testing well into genius for my IQ, my sister winning several national awards for her poetry and essays, my adult nephew graduating at 17 and only because of an August birthday, both of my parents having masters degrees they earned on scholarships they were given due to their own strong writing, etc and now my niece is skipping a grade and my nephew is averaging well above his grade level and likely will skip a grade too. So I said something about being a family of smart kids and my mom more or less went "well one of my kids isn't very bright" and then looked hard at me.

I'm the only college drop out of my siblings, and with a worse gpa. It's also not the first time she's called me stupid but normally not in so many words or out of left field like that so it cut pretty deep especially considering all the other bs I'd been putting up with since arriving.

I voiced discomfort with what I had (correctly) assumed she meant as a joke, which turned into an argument, which made me have the realization that this is not my home and has not been my home in some time and in fact the reason my mental health improved rapidly when I left is because I got away from her and all of her nasty little comments she doesn't think are a big deal and now I'm having a panic attack and oh- this is a trauma response. I am back in the same house, the same bedroom, the same situation, and I am being triggered, and I am having a trauma freak out, and it has been a very long time since this place and these people have been anything but detrimental to me.

TO HER CREDIT she did come into my bedroom late that night and stated that she couldn't sleep because she felt awful because clearly she seriously misstepped and did not actually mean to hurt me this badly but at that point the damage was done. We talked it out and then we both cried ourselves to sleep in our respective bedrooms and then I woke up with covid the next day and drove the 5 hours back home so I could access healthcare in my state with my state insurance.

And I don't think I will ever go back there willingly, at least not to stay overnight. I'll come up with a reason that I have to stay at a hotel or something.

So anyway long story short the issue was relatively shortlived and I am now back to normal but WOW that was a BAD night. I have not had a night like that in a very long time.

[bunnyboy-juice]

everyone saying "thank god i didnt see this specific post that inspired this" as if this is about one specific issue and not the ways that even self proclaimed allies who clutch their pearls and "would NEVER!!!" do this are also. some of the ones doing this by never speaking about transfem butches or uplifting transfem butch experiences to the point nearly every single trans woman who is/was butch who has interacted with this post has lamented the fact that they dont feel welcome or comfortable calling themselves butch bc of the way OTHERS expect butches - even if they know on some level it is a role they Want to fill or be able to explore. its being married to a transfem butch and loving her for 4 years and knowing the loneliness and frustration she experiences as a trans woman who is Butch. its the fact that talking about transmisogyny esp within butch/femme realms is frequently defanged to be about general misogyny (and yes, assuming butch = transmasc is also misogynistic towards cis butches and i did not do a good enough job in my original post in emphasizing i was focusing on Transness within butch/femme spaces so ik im to blame for those comments on here but also. my post isnt the only one this happens to. why cant one conversation about transmisogyny stay about transmisogyny w/o also reorienting to include cis ppl). its RARELY seeing anything about femme4butch or butch4butch dynamics that highlight the beautiful experiences that is being with and loving butch trans women unless its specifically a post about t4t dynamics (and even then if its written by anyone but trans women or the people who actually love them, chances are the "transness" evoked in the post is largely transmasculinity, even with a haphazard "on E" tossed in when talking about hrt). its seeing people more willing to clown on the "butch = transmasc" crowd than they are willing to uplift and love trans women who are butch (unless its to oggle)(and this definitely isnt the first post ive made about transness and butchness, but it Is the first one thats gotten this many notes in a single day bc "i love you butch trans women" as a solo statement or even the focus isnt enough i guess). its, even in the VERY limited appreciation of butch bottoms, the way they are all assumed to be he/him pussy havers by default and that trans women, especially butch trans women, are cornered into being tops and doms even when they dont want to be and have to BEG for people to desire them. it's in the way y'all clutch your pearls and pat yourselves on the back for being allies but wont even talk to butch trans women unless its to get her to top you.

to the transfem butches who may end up reading this: i love that you are you. i love the way you love femmes, especially femmes like me who also are pushed to the side in favor of stereotypes on how butches/femmes "Are/Should Be". i love the way you embrace your masculinity and wear it as a badge of pride and honor. i love you even when you are feeling the worst about yourself and your relationship to your butchness. i love you when you stand firm that you are a butch woman when others dont acknowledge your presence or misgender you for being You. i love you when you Insist people respect you. i love having the honor of having held space and love for so many of you already. i love knowing you exist. your butchness is so special and you are so special. i am so sorry for the ways people sometimes overlook your existence. i am so sorry that so many posts, including mine, focus more on the frustrations towards how people treat you than expressing this love. i am so sorry for the ways people have dismissed your perspectives on butchness in favor of appealing to the masses. i wish i could make everyone see how wonderful and special it is to love and be loved by a butch trans woman not for what she does To/For me but because your sheer existence enriches everything in my life. you make my world technicolor and i am forever grateful to every single butch trans woman i have met, will meet, or will never meet. i love you.

you guys know butch =/= taking T right? you guys know dyke masculinity is not correlated to being transmasc right? you guys know that even your silly jokes where you flatten butchness to taking T/being transmasc is extremely transmisogynistic right?

[butchpeace]

I want to have an important discussion: This is a disclaimer that I'm not seeking to cause trouble but need to get this off my chest. I've seen you give advice to many young women on here and hope you have something to say here. Of course, feel free to delete the ask if it's too much. I'm a heterosexual female who spent time in radical feminist spaces as a teenager. Growing up, I struggled with being the only female in a socially conservative, religious and immigrant household. The trifecta of hell. I started wishing to be a boy ever since I was a young girl because I hated how I was treated for being female by my family.

I got into radical feminist spaces as a teenager, after my brief stint as a trans-identified female and, I can honestly say, it didn't help in a way that mattered. Sure, it was nice to have other women who related to my experience, but can we talk about the corrosive hatred that goes on in these spaces? It exacerbated my dislike and discomfort with being female with all the talk about being oppressed and hated systematically by men. How does a young, heterosexual girl process that and still go on to have healthy, normal relationship with men?

What's the end goal with radical feminism, exactly? A young girl peaks and is aware, but then what? Naturally, she'll have negative feelings towards men and the patriarchy, and because radical feminism is not interested in bridging understanding between men and women, we're left with two paths: we embrace the cope of trad women or we suffer more while "aware".

Let's face it: I genuinely don't believe that women's liberation is possible with an antagonistic view towards men or even at all. As much as I hate to say it, we see what happened to the women under Taliban. Men allowed and supported feminism for their own interest. If the male government didn't see value to it, it would have been crushed and done with. Men have been in power for centuries, across many, if not all aspects of the world. And they also have women (likely heterosexual) willing to support them because the path of least resistance is safer for them. I don't want to put down women here, but what else can I say?

I don't believe in female separatism and such a proposed, isolating and unrealistic "solution" makes me wonder if radical feminists know, acknowledge and work with the simple fact that the majority of women are heterosexual, so we have an innate attraction to men that wasn't "conditioned" and can't go away once you've gone to enough feminist meet-ups. Or is radical feminism realistically only for lesbians who can naturally decenter men romantically and be completely fine.

I still believe in radical feminism and its ideas. I don't believe men are innocent, but I'm trying to overcome my hatred towards them because it accomplished nothing. I'm realizing that radical feminism, in its current state, isn't providing answers for me, but I'm sure some other heterosexual women would agree. What's the solution here? I still think radical feminism is an important part of my life, but I'm also done sticking my head in the sand. It's really bringing back my old feelings of wanting to transition. Sorry for being a gender traitor.

I have a more nuanced look at all of this than some people do, so I don’t think everyone will agree with me. But…

Personally I believe that being aware of how patriarchal oppression works is always a net positive, even though it hurts to be aware. Understanding the problem is how we learn to fight back and change things.

I 100% hear what you’re saying though about toxicity in online communities and how the hatred and fear of men can snowball to an unnecessary degree. I see it too and I don’t like it. But generally that kind of attitude is coming from women who have been seriously harmed by men and need a place to vent about it. At what point these spaces and that attitude become unhealthy for them is an individual question.

So yeah there’s some bad vibes. But the solution isn’t to turn our backs on feminism. The solution is to shift to doing work that has real life meaning, and the potential to make real life change in the lives of women. Radical feminism wasn’t ever just about sitting in a room together and complaining about men. It’s about taking those feelings, and our understanding of gender oppression, and turning it into action. Whatever form that action takes.

I also think that the whole concept of separatism is poorly understood in the online community. Not many people are truly advocating for everyone to live in female-only communes and never interact with males. Although that is important for us to have as an option.

I think the general goal of separatism can be looked at more broadly - It’s about creating female only spaces that we can use when we need them. Domestic violence shelters, women’s organizations, even book clubs and female-only friend groups are all part of the goal. That way, separatism is woven into our daily lives in ways that support us and help us heal.

We need places where we can support each other’s mental and physical health, do consciousness raising, and talk about activism outside of male influence. That’s separatism.

At the very least, heterosexual women can benefit from temporarily having a female-only space after they’ve been victimized or harmed by a man. Eventually going back into the wider world and having relationships with men again shouldn’t be seen as a sign of betrayal. It’s natural for everyone to want love and companionship with someone they’re attracted to.

A lot of people would disagree with me on that last point, and say that male-attracted women should just never have sex or a relationship. I think that’s unrealistic, and the broader goal is to decenter men.

So many women put a man at the center of their world, put all their care and effort into that man, to the point that she isn’t taking care of herself and she’s disconnected from other women. That leaves her vulnerable to abuse and manipulation. That’s the problem that radical feminism wants to solve.

Thinking of it that way, the goal would be to take care of yourself first, cultivate female-only spaces and relationships, and essentially just put the men in your life secondary to your own wellbeing.

No shade at all to anyone, but I think a lot of women are using radblr as an “I hate men” space rather than really learning about what radical feminists were saying and trying to turn that into productive action.

Edit to add: Also, if you don’t find that you relate to radical feminism specifically, there are plenty of other schools of thought within feminism. “Radical feminism”, at least online, seems to me like it’s a catch all for everyone who doesn’t agree with the more mainstream form of liberal feminism. But we’re all individuals with our own ideas, forming our own opinions, and that’s what it’s all about! The important thing isn’t what label you use, it’s what you’re doing.

[radfemfessing]

idk whats so complicated about the biphobia thing. It's not homophobia, duh. Bi people face homophobia of course but that's not unique to bisexuality, also duh. Bisexuality especially in women has A TON of horrible stereotypes attached to it which according to statistics and literally any conversation with bi women cause real, physical harm. And I am not talking about lesbians being careful around dating bi women because they had bad experiences with them, holy shit! Lesbians setting boundaries and talking about how some bi women left them for men, set them up to be raped by their Nigel etc is NOT biphobia. Hell, I am bi and I am careful when I am dating other bi women because of these reasons. Lesbians aren't oppressing bi women, lesbians aren't the ones causing the high abuse statistics for bi women. STRAIGHT (and bi) MEN are causing this. Bisexuality being associated with: always being a cheater, being sexually available to everyone, always being down for a threesome, never being sexually satisfied, being sex addicts, being confused little dumb dumbs, can't choose who to date because they will end up with dick anyways, need to be controlled because they are cheaters etc etc. And these things cause real harm to bi women. Those are things that are associated with women who are attracted to both sexes. This is unique to bi women. A lot of men who push these myths are also not homophobic. Lots of leftist men believe this shit, lots of bi men and gay men as well. A unique form of prejudice and violence against bi women exists, it has consequences, we need to acknowledge and talk about it. You don't need to like or date bi women to acknowledge this. And yea, bi women calling themselves lesbians is homophobic shit. Bi women in relationships with men hold privilege over lesbians. Bi women spewing "sexuality is fluid" shit is also homophobic and extremely harmful. Denying all that is naive. But like.. All of that still doesnt change the fact that bi women face a unique kind of oppression and harm because of their sexuality. You can talk about the problematic shit some bi women are doing and still acknowledge that. If we keep ignoring all the disgusting shit associated with bi women and to which consequences it leads, we are setting more women up to call themselves "anything but bi". Demisexual, pansexual, bullcrap! Honestly, if I was growing up right now I wouldn't want to call myself bi. I don't want to be the confused, sexual available to everyone sex addict who needs to be beaten up by a man so she doesn't cheat. Or the "available SSA person" who is available to get raped by trans people so they leave homosexual people alone. That doesn't sound like something I want to be. And if I had known as a kid that I would end up being harrassed, raped, and abused for being and bi and for setting boundaries as a bi woman, I would have never proudly announced it to other people. This is a complicated, nuanced discussion. But it leads to nowhere on here. You are all smarter than this. I hope. I hate the term "Biphobia" honestly because I have never seen it lead to a constructive discussion. I also think it doesnt address the fact that its bi WOMEN who face this and that bi men often times participate in it. So idk. I dont have a solution, I am just angry and annoyed lmao

🍼

[genderqueerdykes]

Hello, yesterday I tried posting something to you but was met with a lot of setbacks. I'm a trans woman who wants to give her ideas on this trans infighting between trans men and women. Before I start I want to say that one of your prior asks said how porn of trans women was in the "#transmen" - literally the only people I see who see that and actually like it are chasers who don't know any better (or just don't care). It invalidates gender for both trans men AND trans women (I mean if these people were bigender, that's another story but...it's clearly not as I don't think chasers are THAT into trans terminology, we're just "chicks with dicks" or "boys with clits" - if even THAT is the nuance taken). Especially as the hastags on the post are normally anything to do with being trans, including TERF shit. I wanted to reply to that ask but...Tumblr must hate me for some reason. This may be perceived as a "simplistic" take from all the posts and asks but...to start with, I don't think it's right to paint all men as being beneficiaries to patriarchal society. Many of them just aren't. Those who fall down Tate and Incel pipelines aren't secure, thriving men. They're struggling with their own bullshit. Now there are plenty of women who also have little groups that fall into that category (Tradwife and Radfem). We all have the ability to fall down those pipelines though. We all have the ability to be shitty people to eachother (if you're an adult, chances are you ARE someone's "shitty person" in a story). The thing is we need to recognize our similarities over our differences. In some respects...yes I would say we need to do this for said groups I mentioned. It'll probably take years but...I don't see it as impossible (one of my toxic traits is believing people can do better) Also, just a quick note - Trans rights are clearly on the chopping block and will be for the next 4 years. This infighting will ONLY be an easy distraction for that to happen.

thank you so much for stopping by!

tumblr keeps randomly restricting who can and can't respond to my posts. it's not me. i do not watch my posts that closely. i will delete replies and block people if they're being shitheads and i notice it but generally my posts are kind of free reign for people to have discussion on because i literally cannot control everyone who interacts with my blog that would be impossible. thanks for sending an ask though!

Before I start I want to say that one of your prior asks said how porn of trans women was in the "#transmen" - literally the only people I see who see that and actually like it are chasers who don't know any better (or just don't care). It invalidates gender for both trans men AND trans women (I mean if these people were bigender, that's another story but…it's clearly not as I don't think chasers are THAT into trans terminology, we're just "chicks with dicks" or "boys with clits" - if even THAT is the nuance taken). Especially as the hastags on the post are normally anything to do with being trans, including TERF shit. I wanted to reply to that ask but…Tumblr must hate me for some reason.

agreed, wholeheartedly. many people have pointed out it's bots doing this, but it doesn't change the fact that it's very upsetting for anyone to see this kind of thing overwhelming their tags when they're just trying to talk to people and find community. even if it's bots doing this it doesn't change how dysphoric it is to go into a tag for your given gender and feel unrepresented in your own tag, somehow. it's not right.

and i have noticed like. i'm not sex or kink negative. far from it. but it really seems like people do not understand how to appropriately tag fetish content and por n. like it's really getting out of control at this point. i have another ask about this that i'll answer as well. trans sexuality is so important. like so, so important. it's holy, it's beautiful. it shouldn't be censored. however there's a problem with por n and erotica being just about the only text + photo posts in SO many queer tags. people seem to be trying to use tumblr as a queer erotica sight at this point and it's very uncomfortable

what you've mentioned is something i've noticed. it's one thing to have a fetish and to use fetishizing language in a private space but people are not doing a good job of keeping their content out of general queer tags. like the transmasc, trans man, transfem, trans women, butch, lesbian and nonbinary tags really do not need to be this full of por n and erotica, y'all. it's getting out of hand. i'm talking about just the general tags for these things. there are a lot of people wanting to connect with other people who identify this way who do not want to do so sexually or do not have a kink relating to their gender

also nobody really seems to give a shit about asexuals, either, and anyone else who is sex repulsed. it's frustrating as all hell.

i appreciate you for taking the time to send this! thank you very might! i really appreciate your insight!

[specialagentartemis]

Women’s rights are human rights. Trans rights are human rights. Trans rights are women’s rights. All of these things are true

[snekdood]

notice how when you hear about all these rich white men in high positions of power doing heinous shit, none of them end up being trans men or mascs 🤔 but surely we're just as privileged as any other cis guy right?

[tuttle-did-it]

It's literally a choice he makes every single day-- except when he is a solid and his powers are stripped.

Whether he was trying to impress Mora or not, whether it was initially learned gender or not, the fact is that every day, Odo has the choice of being absolutely ANYTHING he wants. That is the identities he has settled in, and presents every time he is not using his goopy powers.

Yes, he is limited in his powers, no he is not great at what he does. But he is good enough at controlling his powers to look like a rat if he wants, so he absolutely could have chosen to present as female. There are women all over the station. If he can make himself look like a rat, I don't think popping on boobs and going for a more traditionally feminine look is out of order, here. Or even just exploring, 'I am a changeling, I do not have a gender.' 'Then why do people refer to you as he?'

He's got people like Dax who has a very open concept of gender. There is a man who gets pregnant several times on DS9. He has women like Kira and Dax who are very powerful, strong women. He doesn't need to be male to do his duties. He CHOOSES this every day.

Would I, as an agender trans person, have loved if they had played with this, more? Absolutely. I would have much preferred when he meets the other Changelings, they have a completely different view on identity. The fact that they look like Odo never makes sense-- we see they can mimic anyone perfectly. Odo says he looks the way he does because he is bad at his powers. So the changelings never should have looked like him. They should have had a completely different look, and I would have loved of they were all agender-- or if the conversation if gender had come up for their species.

Regardless, even if this it's learned behaviour from Mora, when he learns to better control his powers, Odo STILL chooses to be male.Mora didn't give him a gendered name. Mora called him 'unknown sample.' In fact, when we see him hundreds of years old, and he has clearly mastered his powers and can be literally anything in the entire universe, he still chooses to be male.

It may have started because wanted to connect with Mora, but he ran AWAY from Mora, and wanted nothing to do with Mora-- and STILL REPRESENTED HIMSELF EVERY SINGLE DAY AS A MALE. He could have been like fuck you, Mora, I won't be anything like you! And gone for something else. And I also find out ridiculous to believe that Mora was the only influence in his life.

Do I think when he was learning to control his powers, maybe he played around with this? Looking like a woman, imitating what other cultures liked like? Headcanon, yep. And do I think everyone on the station would have been cool with him if he showed up to work looking like a woman? Yes, I do. Everyone would just be like 'how do you want us to refer to you? Still Odo? Cool. Any pronouns? Oh, okay. So today it's she/her. Yesterday was them. Tomorrow is he. Got it.'

But whether it was because the writers didn't have the imagination or desire to fuck with this storyline, or Berman K-O'd any attempt of gender fluidity for anyone, including Odo, the result is this:

Every single moment, Odo still repeatedly chooses his identity.

Do I think if it were made today, they would have done a lot more with this? Yes. I think it would be more likely they would do some fun things with Odo's gendered identity. That would have been great. But that did not happen. And we have what we have.

Every day, Odo-- fully aware there are millions of choices for his appearances and presentations of self-- still intentionally forms into a male identity. Infinite diversity in infinite combinations, and our basic idiot chooses a hetero white male. But he still chooses. Would I make that choice if I could be *anything‽* fuck no. But he did.

In fact, when the changelings take away his powers, they say: 'we gave him what he wants. To be solid.' But he is a male solid. If there were any flexibility or fluidity in this man's gender, them reading his mind/will would be the time we would see that. He remains a male.

I don't understand how a changeling-- who can be literally anything-- choosing to present as a male is not considered intentional. He literally chooses every single moment he is not goop to present as a male.

some people say that odo’s feelings for kira are forced but personally i get him. all she has to do is smile and i, too, am happy beyond reason

[picnokinesis]

Thoughts on Different Types of Representation in Doctor Who (and how fandom responds to it)

So I watched Rogue last night and - okay first, oh my days, absolutely ADORED it, this is definitely my favourite episode of this season, it was just so much FUN and it hooked me right from the start. And then the queerness! I was actually thinking to myself whilst watching it how wonderful it was because it felt like a queer story in a way that wasn't like, showboating about how progressive it was? [editorial aside: this is not comparing it to anything in particular, just a general observation]. The characters were just queer, within this wild and wonderful sci-fi story, but also their queerness wasn't the Only Character Trait they had and their story didn't resolve around their queerness, but their queerness was crucial to the plot in a way that was just lovely to see - and as a writer myself, it's personally the way I love to see our stories being told.

But then I made the mistake of going into the tag - always a foolish thing to do, because for some reason everyone loves to praise this era by criticising the previous era (as if it hasn't been criticised enough...like we know most of y'all hate Chris Chibnall for committing no worse crimes than Moffat and RTD before him...we know). And I found a couple of folks talking about how this episode alone did more for queer representation than the entirety of thirteen's era, whiiiiich at first really Peeved Me Off - like didn't these people understand how important Yaz's arc (especially Eve of the Daleks) was to a LOT of people? But then I was like 'well actually this is interesting', right? Because I think there's two very different kinds of representation going on here - and they're both very important in different ways, but one tends to get lauded as brilliant rep and one always gets put down as not good enough, or even bad rep. And what's the main difference? Whether the characters have a gay kiss or not.

So I just thought I'd share some of my thoughts and feelings on this, and why I think both these kinds of rep are equally important! To be clear from the get-go though - this is definitely not me ragging on anyone who likes more about one than the other (in fact, I think everyone likes one more than the other). This is merely a personal essay about it and the frustrations that comes when people in general do lift one up over the other. I'm gonna put it under the cut though, because it might get a bit long!

So, back when Eve of the Daleks aired, I remember having a lot of conversations about the representation in that episode - in particular with a very good friend of mine, who is a lesbian. And we realised that when it came to rep, we both actually wanted pretty different things. I'm aroace and genderfluid, and so a lot of what I saw in how thirteen was written - especially in terms of her gender (or lack thereof), and also her apparent lack of attraction (at least, in how I read it) was just incredibly affirming to me. I've never EVER seen a character on screen that I could see myself in both in terms of sexuality and gender. Whereas my friend saw things quite differently - thirteen was a lesbian, and they wanted to see that kiss between these two characters, because for them too, it was so rare to see that, and, in their words, they wanted to have their cake and eat it too. And we both realised that the reason that queer representation can feel so intense and important is, simply, because there isn't enough of it. We're all desperately reaching for the same small portion - and none of it is ever going to please everyone, or resonate with everyone. The stakes are too high.

So then, when there wasn't this dramatic romantic ending to Yaz's story, when there was no queer kiss, I was very sad for my friend, who didn't get that representation, but so painfully relieved for myself - because I got mine. So then it sucked a lot to see a lot of people getting really angry that this wasn't queer representation, that this was even homophobic - I even had someone tell me that aromantic representation in this regard was always going to be homophobic, because no-one would ever write it to be aro rep, and would instead only ever write it to avoid writing a gay kiss. And the thing that got me the most was that, REGARDLESS of whether they kissed or not, regardless of how you read either of the characters, there was one thing that was certain:

Yaz was queer. In text. Her emotional plotline centred around her realising that she was attracted to the Doctor (who was presenting as a woman - although, again, I don't think she really identified as such). The fact that she and the Doctor didn't get together by the end does not erase that fact.

They didn't kiss - but so what? Are queer people only queer when they're kissing someone of the same gender, or having gay sex? Are queer people not queer in their day to day lives, when they're not doing any of those things? Are queer people not queer when they're not dating? Are queer people not queer when they're trans, when they're ace, when they're aro, when their queerness doesn't resolve around attraction to the same gender?

And, to be honest, I think a lot of my feelings around this stem from the sort of exclusionist rhetoric that we saw a LOT of towards the ace/aro community back in 2012 that we still see now, that we're seeing towards the trans community now, that we're still seeing towards bi people, for pete's sake. It's this in-community infighting, pushing each other down to try and get up to the top, to keep all the "resources" for "the people who really need it", and it causes a serious amount of harm - but the truth is (and to bring this back to doctor who) that it all comes back to what me and my friend were discussing. We're all scared, all desperate to be seen - and when we are seen, it's the most incredible experience and the idea of losing that (or having someone else undermine it) feels inexpressibly awful. Having the thirteenth doctor...I suddenly realised this is what all the straight cis white dudes get all the time. She was like me, and that was indescribable. And then losing her - and having RTD not even be able to have a man wear her clothes because he was too worried about what the tabloids would say to be able to show a gnc person on tv...and then constantly described her as The Woman Doctor for the next entire episode - that hurt. A lot.

I've spoken to other friends who felt so seen in the character of Yaz - those people who realised they were queer later in life, those who fall in love with people and it doesn't end up going anywhere, those who don't get the whirlwind queer romances that people often call 'good representation'. Myself and many of my aspec friends have felt so seen in thirteen's almost entirely romance-less arc, and myself and my trans/genderqueer friends felt very seen in the way that thirteen's character would have been exactly the same if she'd been a man - the only difference was how the other characters around her interacted with her. Gender was something that happened to her. And when I watch episodes like Rogue, even though I don't relate to that representation, I just feel overwhelmed with joy because I know how important it will be to others that I care about. I think my sadness then comes from the fact that the way Thirteen and Yaz were written are just as important to me and many people that I know, but because they didn't kiss, it's not considered queer enough. Am I not queer enough, then? Are my friends not queer enough?

We need more episodes like Rogue, like The Parting of Ways, like Praxeus, like The Doctor Falls, because they are unquestionably and unapologetically queer, in a way that can't be avoided. We also need more episodes like Eve of the Daleks, like The Haunting of the Villa Diodati, like the rest of thirteen's era where the representation is an undercurrent throughout the whole story - but also undeniable, in a way that Yaz's story arc is, even if it doesn't end in a kiss, even if it doesn't end neatly and happily. Personally, I definitely would love to see more stories focused on aromanticism and on transness (especially ones that are written by trans people for trans people, rather than by cis people for cis people), but that's probably going to be down to people like me and other writers that I know actually getting into the script writing industry - and that depends on the people who are already there letting us in. One thing that I've always appreciated about Chibnall is that, after leaving Doctor Who, he began a programme for training up new showrunners with ITV, because: "showrunners are the gatekeepers and too many of the gatekeepers look like me."

Anyway, I probably have more thoughts that I've forgotten, but that's generally the gist of it. I think the more we fight over whether rep is 'good' or 'bad', relating to whether we see ourselves in it or not (rather than 'is this genuinely harmful or unhelpful', which I think is a more crucial question) the more the waters get muddied. We have different needs and wants, and no single episode is going to represent every facet of our community. But each episode, each story like this is a step in the right direction - and even rep that isn't perfect (I have thoughts about The Star Beast, for example) is still extremely positive and important, and definitely something that should be celebrated, even as we keep looking to the future for what we would like to see done differently, done better. And some day, I hope, there'll be so much queer rep, it'll be so normal, that those stakes won't feel so high anymore. It won't feel like everything hangs on how a certain show or storyline or episode is written. We'll all be seen. And that will be absolutely fantastic.

[starwikia]

suicide cw

look i have been in this area before mentally. it sucks and i wouldn’t wish this on anyone. but, and this is going to sound callous, but i don’t feel any sympathy for james somerton. even if i hope he’s like. not dead. But thats all the amount of goodwill im willing to give him. The more i think about this really, the more angry i am. 

ngl this entire situation is another example of how white people weaponize their mental illness to avoid consequences. Im seeing it in real time.

this man has a continuous habit of using self-harm as a get-out-of-jail-for-free card. in both of his apologies, he has worded his supposed attempts in ways that were clearly meant to guilt people who displayed his plagiarism and overall horrendous history of racism and misogyny. i say supposed because, while i’m not saying those are lies and this would he such a fucked up thing to lie about that i don’t want to think he has, unfortunately, it’s been proven again and again that his word can’t be trusted, as he’s known to lie to try get out of consequences. Hes a proven liar. him lying about this is actually the best case scenario, because no one should go through this entire situation, wouldnt wish this on anyone, but you can only do this so often before people stop sympathizing with you. is this callous? Yeah, but like. I’m actually fucking angry he cant straight up take no as an answer. that this is how he reacts realizing he cant be one of the Cool Kidz™️ on youtube anymore. he acts like he DESERVES a career, like its not a privilege hes lost due to his own actions.

He lied about apologizing and forgiving people, he lied about giving the money to hbomberguy to give to ppl he ripped off (yknow, instead of doing it himself), he lied about the jessie gender situation and rewrote the narrative to make it so he isnt the bad guy, and hes the victim all along actually!

you can’t tell me that supposed last message of his isn’t meant to be a 13 reasons why esq attempt to deflect the blame “look i’m going to kill myself and it’s all YOUR PEOPLES FAULT for not letting me achieve my DREAM of being filmmaker IN PEACE!!! I just wanted Nick’s (the guy who I have thrown under the bus again and again) portfolio up!! Im just being a good friend dont you all FEEL BAD” he refuses to take ANY ACCOUNTABILITY of any of his actions and he IS STILL trying to shove the blame over to other people again.

it’s also pretty ironic people are like “uhhh well hbomber’s fans harassed him!!!” like hbomber outright told people NOT to HARASS JAMES!!! ALSO acting as if james doesn’t have a very real documented history of STRAIGHT UP sending his fans to harass and threaten smaller creators, more notably women, trans, and bipoc creators. especially after he’s stolen typically very personal anecdotes so he could profit from them. so why can he do it but the second people are like “hey this guys an actual piece of shit.” and he can’t handle it suddenly people are trying to white knight his shit? like no he doesn’t get that. he doesn’t get that at all just because he couldn’t handle the consequences of his actions. 

what? were supposed to stay quiet about a man profiting off of other minorities because he wanted to be the spokesman for all gay people? people tried to solve this on a smaller, more private scales for YEARS and he kept doing it. it was clear that the giant public video was the ONLY way to get people to notice. HE WOULDVE GOTTEN AWAY WITH STEALING 87 FUCKING THOUSANDS WORTH OF DOLLARS. HE CANT HANDLE THE FACT HE CANT GET AWAY WITH IT. 

am i supposed to feel bad for the guy who basically threatened a trans woman with the police? i don’t care what anyone says, it’s so fucking obvious that he threatened jessie by implying he was getting the police involved in their conflict. what am i supposed to act like that didn’t happen? are we supposed to pretend like he didn’t glorify nazi’s and outright said that gay people made up a good chunk of the nazis? That he didnt say america joined ww2 bc they were jealous of the NAZIS. WHAT WOULD POSSESS YOU TO FUCKING SAY THAT. but then? He gives women (not even women most of the time, he misgenders nonbinary ppl constantly) shit for writing mlm. are we supposed to act like he doesn’t straight-up sees himself superior and better than people of color and steals their works to put himself on a pedestal? Are we supposed to act like he didnt spit on our elders by saying “only the boring gays survived aids” like man! Fuck you! He BLANTANTLY MAKES UP HISTORY TO PUT HIMSELF ON A PEDESTAL!! HE ACTIVELY TRIED TO REWRITE LGBT HISTORY TO SUIT HIS FUCKED UP NARRATIVES!

yes this sucks ! no one deserves this but no one should be making him a martyr. Thats what he fucking WANTS! He wants to be immortalized as a victim!! (again, supposedly, it was reported hes alive but its not confirmed).

The shit he got isnt near the amount of fucking callous behavior hes done again and again. Again, to drill this point, EVEN IF HE DIDNT CALL THE POLICE HE THREATENED A TRANS WOMAN INTO THINKING HE DID!!! The fact he tried to use a head injury to justify years of the outright ghoulish shit fucking astounds me. Why the fuck did anyone in his life thought it was a good idea to let him TRY to come back. in the end, he had options. he didn’t need to try to make a comeback. HE DIDNT NEED TO FUCKING LIE OR IGNORE THE SHIT HE WAS CALLED OUT ON the reality is, he wanted to come back thinking he could shove it under the rug, was told that no dude, you’re not allowed to be a youtuber anymore. you’re done. you need to move on and went full nuclear. it’s not on anyone’s hands but his own. HES BEEN DOING THIS TO HIMSELF!! But nah man we cant call his shit out bc hell may or may not kill himself. Fuck the other minorities who have the same issues but worse and sometimes BECAUSE of him. This is going to SUCKKKK so bad when other ppl, specifically white gays, are going to weaponize this shit to get away with their stuff.

[commonboa]

I feel like a lot of people on here say cishet white man when talking about men they perceive as being unequivocally privileged because they know they should but don't really understand what the differences in experiences are between a white and black man a cis and trans man etc

it's like they think every man regardless of identity gets unlimited access to male privilege with just a little bit of discrimination on top if they're marginalized. this also plays into the whole “thats just transphobia” or “thats just racism” schtick; seeing the male experience of oppression as the default and completely ignoring any semblance of intersectionality.

tldr: people on tumblr dont see marginalized men's experiences as meaningfully different from the experiences of patriarchal men

[tommy-shut-up-challenge]

I need to talk about my perspective because i see this take all over for years and its been frustrating to watch. disclaimer: i have one disability that makes math hard (among other things, but my focus will be on math classes) and one that affects my cognitive functioning. The cognitive one is more recent and makes the learning one more difficult. If I made a spelling or grammar error that makes this hard to read please tell me. I have issues typing and spelling and spell check only does so much.

This is all to answer your question of "why would you want that word in particular?"

So some background. I have a disorder that meant always missing lunch to finish math tests and using a calculator when other students couldn't in later years. My peers noticed, ofc. And tweens/teens are vicious, so i got bullied for being 'stupid,' slow,' and r-word. The slur is the one they liked the best. More taboo ig.

Yeah. The rword means slow, stupid, and all the other words you used. But, and I'm not blaming you for anything here because I used to think like this too, slow and stupid aren't insults. or at least they shouldn't be. When viewing being slow as an insult you also imply it is inferior in some way. That is ableism, and it's so common in our world that people don't even realise it.

The words stupid and dumb also come from the same place, although the meaning has changed enough it's not even remotely as offensive. That's a different conversation that is a lot more complex tho.

you state "with like fag or whatever that at least is referring to your actual identity... the rslur [is] attacking how someone behaves or comes off to others more than what they actually are" I have a disorder that makes me slower at calculations than my peers. I AM slow. That's a part of who I actually am. it's not what I come off as or behave as. My disabilities are just as much a part of my identity as my status as a trans person. Another product of the unnoticed ableism in our world is people not seeing disability as a part of the person who has it and more like baggage they pack around. (See: autistic person vs. person with autism argument.)

I am slow, I am dimwitted, and I am retarded. There is not morality to assign to it, and none of those words should be insults. I am not less for being slow. Stating facts about who I am is not self-depreciation or insulting. I should not have grown up in a world that allowed descriptions of the way my brain works (slowly) to be insulting, but I did so I turned them into labels.

And it did a phenomenal job of protecting me since it took away the words people used to hurt me.

i will honestly never understand the urge to reclaim the r slur like . it’s got the fucking ooze on it why would you want to even touch that

[s0lemnhypn0s]

By all means, Crocodile is only implied trans and not yet confirmed as a trans man. However, the fact the entire fandom talks about him in such creepy and transphobic ways is reason enough for me to refuse to budge on him being a trans man. Nope. Not just a theory, thats a trans man. As far as I'm concerned it's canon.

[contagious-watermelon]

if i hear one more person unironically identifying themself as afab or amab I'm gonna start biting