#And also in that some trans people are in fact

[sthilarions]

Okay on the subject of Charles inviting Crystal to live in his and Edwin’s home against Edwin’s wishes (and then bringing her to Port Townsend with them, also largely against Edwin’s wishes)

Now, to start with, I want to establish that from a character point of view this is very understandable. Charles sees a damsel in distress and moves in to protect, he sees someone pretty and fun and Edwin-like and alive and wants to engage, it’s all very understandable top to bottom

But the thing is I’ve seen a lot of people say this was actually necessary in general, not just understandable given Charles’s personality, on the basis that Crystal had amnesia and nowhere to go, and, uh, that is not the case, because hotels exist, my friend, and are a much better place to put up someone in distress than on a three foot long loveseat in a presumably one-room office inhabited by beings that work in it 24/7 (who notably do not sleep). Like, the living situation Charles arranged for Crystal here is not a good one for a living person who has joints and a spine and needs sleep and food and fuckin’ tampons! And is there a functioning bathroom anywhere in that building, on that note?

“But hotels cost money and Crystal doesn’t have any,” you say. Uh-huh. You know what else costs money? A last-minute trans-Atlantic flight (or series of several flights, rather, given that they’re going to the West Coast).

They get Crystal on a plane from London to Washington seemingly same-day, and seem to fully intend to pay for a return flight also same day. (And may have also paid for seats for themselves, given that we were told they travelled with her, unless they sat cross-legged in the aisle and let people walk through them for like 18 hours.) Do you have any idea how expensive that is? They can afford to put Crystal in a hotel for MONTHS with that amount of money.

They a) clearly have modern-day living-human currency b) have it in significant quantities and c) are willing to spend it on Crystal. They are fully capable of putting her up in a hotel for a little while.

(And if they pulled supernatural bullshit on the level required to get someone through customs and TSA without a ticket, instead of paying, then they could also pull that level of Jedi mind trick or whatever to get her a free hotel room.)

I have seen the “you don’t understand the realities of being a teenage girl of color” argument and yeah, maybe, but… not to be indelicate but I do understand the realities of a) different types of homelessness and b) being a teenage girl trying to sleep in a room with two awake teenage boys to whom you owe your current survival, who may seem nice but who at any moment could decide you should transition to being street-homeless if you don’t please them, one of whom you already know is attracted to you. Like, physical logistics aside, this is not an emotionally healthy situation for a traumatized homeless teenage girl.

Charles’s actions were fully understandable from a character point of view but they were also very much not rational or necessary or even, with the knowledge they had at the time (ie they thought David was gone), in Crystal’s best interest. The physical logistical issues probably didn’t occur to Charles, because he hasn’t had to deal with them for decades (and some of them not at all), and the issues with power dynamics definitely didn’t occur to him for a variety of reasons, but the fact is that the living situation Charles tried to put her in was not good! He was acting in a way he thought was protective but was actually selfish and that’s a fully natural and even endearing character flaw but it is a flaw and there’s no point erasing that.

[fangirl-nadir]

I saw some people arguing that it's good that Pleakley didn't crossdress in the new Lilo and Stitch, because the original scene is based in dated, transphobic tropes. And I dunno, that's been on my mind a lot recently and I wanted to give my two cents.

To preface this, I am genderqueer but I don't id as trans. I am not trying to speak over trans voices. This is just how I, a queer autistic person who just watched the original movie for the first time maybe a week ago, read that whole arc.

From the very beginning of the movie it's made clear that Pleakley is seen as a bit of a joke amongst the alien council. No one takes him seriously, he is physically so much less intimidating than any of them, and the fact that he cares about Earth is treated as this novel thing for the rest of the council. Pleakley seems to think that by recovering Stitch without harming any humans will make the council respect him and maybe he'll finally feel valid in his identity?

When they arrive at Earth, Pleakley crossdresses to try and blend in, probably mimicking the honeymooners he sees everywhere. And... He seems to enjoy it? He puts effort into his appearance, unlike a lot of other "men dressing up as women" characters at the time who are clearly meant to look comical, who visibly aren't even trying to pass. And then later on when he's camping out with Jumba and he secretly dresses up more feminine? Even in private when he's not trying to go undercover?

If it had just been that first scene at the dinner theater then yeah, I'd pass the whole crossdressing off as a dated joke. But that scene later on is framed in such an intimate way, I can only imagine that someone on the writing team was well aware of the implications they were making. The way Pleakley admires his femininity, his embarrassment when Jumba teases him for it, while also sticking to his guns? That whole scene is SO egg coded. How someone could have written it without being aware of the trans implications seems unlikely.

Maybe the bit did start as transphobic. But it is my genuine belief that it was allowed to evolve beyond that and stand on its own merits. The entire movie is surprisingly progressive for a Disney movie, I wouldn't be surprised if the trans commentary was completely deliberate too.

[annie-ave]

t.w. sexual coercion/sexual content

for the TRA's stalking my blog rn)

i actually have slept with a transwoman before y'know.

it was summer after i got out of highschool, i was on dating apps screwing around trying to forget the female best friend i was in love with, hooking up with random men who were six years older than me in random parking lots. damaging myself emotionally basically, because that's what everyone else was doing.

it was consensual sex, although she did insist on not using a condom bc she "couldn't get me pregnant".

I found out later that the relatively short time she'd been on cross sex hormones meant she could, in fact, get me pregnant. I paid for the emergency contraception myself without even asking (even though i was broke af and had just been kicked out by my parents for fucking women) because I didn't want to risk hurting her feelings on her sex and causing dysphoria.

I was 18 and a massive TRA who cared about everyone's comfort but my own.

For years afterwards, i let her talk down to me about how i'm more clocky than she is as a teenager transitioner, what with my hairy arms, PCOS stubble, and stocky shoulders.

It bruised me a bit then, but I prided myself on being a good ally. I shut my mouth because I'd learned from all my liberal feminist instagram activism pages that trans women were the most vulnerable of ALL women, and that they needed to be protected.

Socialized female in a Catholic home with a stay-at-home mother who left a six-figure salary to stay at home and raise my dads children so he could further his career, i'd been brought up to believe that self-sacrifice in women is a heavenly-endowed virtue.

As an annoying lefty from a really early age (still am despite the amount of ppl who want to insist im not a socialist bc i dont believe female people have a dick and balls), I always really LOVED the self-sacrificial aspect of modern activism.

The idea that I could be alleviating some woman's pain by taking on some of it as mine, even if it meant biting my tongue, was legitimately appealing especially because i'd been brought up to believe this was a woman's role.

This transwoman regularly posted online about her extensive drug use and wanting to kill herself so she could be reborn as a woman (even AFTER bottom surgery). I sent her long voicemails consoling her, trying to convince her she looked perfectly feminine on the outside. More feminine than ME certainly!!

And I wasn't lying. She does, she's stunning. When I was a TRA I'd pull up her photos at the dinner table to show my parents how feminine she was.

"Can you really say she's a MAN!" I'd shout, perfectly unaware of the misogyny inherent in assuming "looking feminine" defines womanhood.

I'd find that out for when we attended a sex party together (I went wild and hedonistic after leaving my Catholic household for undergrad, and many of these stories are regrettable but instructive).

I attended with my lover at the time, a sweet butch who was nonbinary herself. there was already a little tension in her attendance. The transwoman i'd slept with confessed, as if this was some horrid secret, that she'd matched with my lover on tinder and was almost convinced she didnt want to slep with her her becasue she was a transwoman.

I knew for a fact my lover had was a lesbian who had trauma with dicks. I also thought it would have been perfectly alright if she just didn't want dick. I had an embryonic idea that it was pretty misogynistic gay men weren't expected to want vagina to the same extent.

But i didn't want to think about that. I KNEW genital preferences were a "TERF dogwhistle".

So when she started pouting at the party after being rejected by my lover. for the second time (talkig sadly to me about how my lover didnt even want to KISS her, and that kissing had nothing to do with her dick and how it was so sooooooo horribly unfair that she didn't have a vagina of her very own) I did feel bad for her. I did see she was in pain. I didn't want her to be in pain. I didn't want my lover to be pilloried for transphobia.

when she asked me if i'd kiss her instead, it didn't seem like a hard decision to let her, even though I had zero sexual interest in her after our first encounter.

i didn't say no- I let her grope me a bit without asking, and consented to touching her chest in return. I did refuse to go further.

it didn't matter. she accused my lover of being a TERF the next day. my lover who also identified as trans.

I still visited her in L.A. after her bottom surgery. This was when I was halfway through discovering radical feminism, and still feeling like a bigot for thinking that the research on children transitioning was actually pretty low quality. I internalized what all my friends told me about TERFS, but I'd also accepted I agreed with radfems. I confided in my partner about how evil I was, convinced i'd be single afterwards. My partner told me I would be ok, as long as I didn't start speaking up about it. how really everyone kind of had these feelings and its most important we let people make their own choices. So i decided to bite my tongue some more. and then she asked me to come see her in L.A.

When I saw her she was still in a lot of pain, especially when dilating (but very happy with her results on the whole). She wasn't well enough to go get food with me so I held her hand and got her water while she lay in her hotel room bed.

I've also seen her since I peaked fully, and despite what some of you might think, no dear reader I did not decide to be awful to her about her transition for no reason, use the "wrong" pronouns, say she looked manly (she doesn't), or tell her I was a radfem.

I didn't see a reason too.

Some part of me didn't want to hurt her, but it was also a pragmatic decision given the kind of online reach she has.

We happened to both be in the same city on vacation so we met for dinner. She regaled me with stories of the sex parties she's been participating in since I left for grad school, complaining that at a recent one only 4/10 of the girls there wanted to sleep with her even though she HAS a vagina now!

she didn't seem to think about the possibility that "a vagina" is not the sole determinant of whether a lesbian would want to sleep with you or not. i see her posting on instagram sometimes about how that hoagie murdereress is a victim of state violence.

i do still reach out to her when i see her struggling. i'm not heartless, but i fully confess to feeling differently when I see her featured as a transitioning success story in the news.

We come from a conservative state originally, and she really likes the camera.

i realize that at this point she can't go back even if she wanted too, and like many (if not most!) radfems i dont support banning HRT for adults partially because I worry about the health impacts of people who have gotten so many surgeries that their bodies physically are unable to create their natal hormones.

I don't want anyone to be hurt no matter how much you think I do. But I no longer believe that means I have to stay quiet and prostrate myself to the idea that humans can change sex.

and I want every female person reading this to know, you do NOT have to sleep with anyone you don't enthusiastically want to sleep with. Self sacrifice in women is NOT a unilateral virtue.

[la-principessa-nuova]

kind of a rambly addition, but i don’t have time to edit it down or reorganize it atm:

especially that part about not really experiencing anything like what guys do growing up. like think about the concept of “male socialization” and what it’s used to imply, that we grew up getting all the same ideas and habits and things instilled in us that men do, that we are in some way now forever more like men than women in some way because we were held to the expectations that men were.

But even for those of us who didn’t transition until adulthood, those expectations affect us *very* differently than they did boys, and not all of the “socialization” we received was more like what they did. I learned the expectations for girls and for boys and I felt like I had to live up to both. Yes, I had some behaviors instilled in me that were expected of boys, like making fart jokes or whatever, but the disgusting views of women that some of my classmates learned, i never was even remotely comfortable with, because they always felt like they were about me. I know there were a few jokes i made at times that I made to fit in that felt bad to say, but no more than my cis sister (in fact much less).

For instance, my experience of being in a boy’s locker room was pretty much exactly how I would imagine most girls’ experience would be being in there, not just in hearing what they said and being horrified but also like the feelings of being in a room full of rowdy bows and having to undress and feeling scared (except not fully realizing why). And as a fat trans girl, that even extended to knowing they’d start making comments about my boobs if i took my shirt off while anyone could see (i learned pretty quickly how to change my shirt without taking it off). And the comments they made were technically the same, so even though i knew they were teasing logically, i couldn’t help *feeling* the things i would feel if they weren’t teasing (the same way i couldn’t help but feel worried that certain male acquaintances — like people I was friendly with but didn’t know enough to fully trust — I was alone with would try to make a move on me even though it made no sense bc they were straight).

And I think there’s this assumption that on some level being held to male standards made me do male behaviors and the positive reinforcement for it caused me to internalize some of this and become more like that, and like maybe there are some very minor, surface-level ways that happened, like leading me to explore my interest in video games but not learning anything about makeup until I started transitioning, and like I learned some skills that I was expected to have, but only really where my innate interests overlapped with things that are acceptable for boys. Honestly all the examples I can think of are things I have in common with my cis sister, lol.

But for the deeper things, there was a balancing force of dysphoria that not only canceled it out but pushed me *far* away from those things. Because being told to do something that I like might get me to explore it more, but being told to do something that makes me feel bad (in an at-the-time-inexplicable way) makes me specifically hate that and want to avoid it at all costs. The times I tried to conform are the darkest moments of my life that made me hate myself and feel like I would never be able to progress in life socially or romantically.

Basically in my experience, all the things in my life that could be called “male socialization” were just things where I wasn’t held to one of the misogynist standards (e.g. one I didn’t internalize and apply to myself) and so I gravitated more towards that direction, and all the things that TERFs primarily mean when they say “male socialization” are things where I experienced something between the “female socialization” version and psychological torture.

So yeah, I play video games and use power tools and I don’t always cross my legs, but I still grew up tormented by misogyny and fearing being left alone with men. I still felt pressure to conform to what the other girls in my classes were doing and was always surprised when i met my friends’ sisters and kinda wished i was friends with them instead.

My “socialization” didn’t lead me to be in some way inherently masculine, it lead me to apply Occam’s Razor and realize that so many things that had never made sense actually made perfect sense if I was a woman.

Plus, it’s based around the philosophical idea of “Tabula Rasa” (Latin for “blank slate”), that the human mind is a blank slate and everything about who we are is determined through experience in life, known as socialization. If this theory were correct, it would mean that people are a product of their socialization and two people subjected to the same situation would behave the same way. But it’s not true, and evidence-based psychology does not support it at all. Obviously we are all the effect of some combination of our biology and our upbringing.

cc @psychicbirdstarlight (since i reblogged down the chain)

going to start using this for every dipshit post i see on here

[rh1ncodontypus]

Actually, I'm still going.

TL;DR

Two days is nothing in real life time.

Content creators are human. We should treat them as such.

Equating morality to the content people consume is not a "one-size-fits-all" strategy.

This is in no way equivalent to what happened with Iskall.

Do I agree with Skizz having mods that support MAGA? No, not at all. I think he deserves the benefit of the doubt, at the very least.

Two days is nothing in real life time.

I think people are jumping the gun with the current information we have. I think Skizz hasn't had the chance to really do anything yet. Hell, I don't think ANY of the Hermits have had the chance to do anything yet, let alone think. I feel like we've been spoiled with in-real time updates. I don't think it's fair to expect Skizz, or anyone for that matter, to reply or act right this second or else.

Content creators are human. We should treat them as such.

TL;DR: This man has just bumped headfirst into the Paradox of Tolerance. Give him a second.

Generally the definition of tolerance has been maintaining a neutral opinion. This was especially the case with Gen X/Millennials. We have different opinions and we work together anyway. I probably don't have to inform you that's much harder to do in the present, if I'm putting it lightly.

I don't think Skizz is transphobic. I don't think he looked at his mods and decided to hire two of them because they're MAGA. Don't get me wrong; I am not defending having mods that are MAGA. I think that five years ago, he needed people to moderate his chat and he thought those mods did fine. This circles back to the definition of tolerance.

Right now, Skizz is facing the paradox of tolerance. It's up to him what he does with it. And honestly, this might be the first time he's having to think about this. He's a white cis man, which means he occupies a position of incredible privilege (that is not a moral judgment).

And you know what? Trans rights are divisive and the fact they're divisive sucks. I'm saying this as a trans person. You post something about trans rights and you have people fighting on your post in 0.2 seconds with increasing levels of hostility. I don't blame anyone for not knowing how to deal with that on livestream, or wanting to maintain neutrality, as much as it disappoints me.

In the wider scheme of things, Skizz is new to being a full-time content creator. He's probably never dealt with a situation like this before.

I feel like people were quick to assume malice or hostility. So I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt and I hope other people are, too. I also don't think this is the cardinal sin that some people are treating it as.

Equating morality to the content people consume is not a "one-size-fits-all" strategy.

I'm already seeing posts encouraging people to boycott his content and heavily implying that someone is a bad person if they don't. You've probably heard of the situation with J.K. Rowling. The reason people are calling for a complete boycott is because any support or money actively enables her transphobic actions and platform.

Separating content from content creator is complicated. I acknowledge that. But applying the morality = content consumption runs the danger of turning into "I am a good person because I only consume pure content™ and this person is bad because they consume the bad content." I don't think that's the way we should be judging people.

This is in no way equivalent to what happened with Iskall.

If this situation is a 10, then what happened with Iskall is a 120. Iskall's situation had tangible victims and was happening over an extended period of time.

Do I agree with Skizz having mods that support MAGA? No, not at all. I think he deserves the benefit of the doubt, at the very least.

[boxturret]

Mata Nui, The Great Spirit

Hello, how do you feel about painting legoes? I think its fun.

Read on to see the terrible, unethical building process.

Many crimes were committed and I will likely be put to death soon.

Recently I completed quite a large project, painting this huge model kit of the Great Spirit Mata Nui. The kit in question is GiiKei's really impressive build, the instructions of which you can purchase here:

I was quite happy to see they cited my 3d model as reference, along with the original ideas submission. Fun fact: I really liked that ideas submission and made an account just to support it, but something about the proportions never sat right with me, and it was one of the things that motivated me to make that 3d model! So its fun to see it get used in the creation of another model :) And now here I am building it. Full circle.

Now, full disclosure, this is made from third party parts, I did test it on bricklink and it would have easily doubled the price, even before shipping from about half a dozen international stores. I kinda just bought this on impulse, it was pretty cheap and on sale and it was a gamble it would come at all really. But a week ago a nondescript bag came and inside it were sixteen hundred parts of honestly pretty good quality.

I think a couple parts used weren't in their parts catalogue so they had to be 3d printed, but even these were pretty acceptable. Actually in a way some parts were better, because this flame piece was pure red, instead of a mix of red and yellow as all branded parts are.

Some bits had a bit of a tight fit, and I drilled out the middle of the pistons, but I would have done that anyway to accommodate the painting. All in all, really good, was only missing one non essential part.

You can debate the ethics of stuff like this, but either I bought the instructions and paid a company in china X for the parts or I bought the instructions and paid a bunch of unrelated people X*2 for the parts, either way the creator gets the same amount. And I can say I wasn't going to build this off bricklinking parts. For various reasons I'm kinda done with bricklink*.

So after quite a few hour's work I had this lovely fellow. I must say, the design is quite good, its well articulated and has a lot of good build techniques. The head is both the strongest and the weakest part really.

I love the eye assembly, its built to allow for lighting, but it also cleverly includes natural light piping, and the kit comes with 4 sets of eyes, trans red and green for lighting and solid green and pink for display. Even has a little wrench to help swap out the parts.

On top of all of this the mouth is even articulated! So much shoved in such a small package. Unfortunately it does come at a cost, as its incredibly unstable. its a lot of 1 stud wide assemblies held together at odd distances with bars. I think the end result looks good, but its so easy for it to fall apart or get misaligned

Which is why, the instant I finished building this I decided to take it apart again and go at it with a tube of glue.

I glued large parts of this model together. I would happily do it again.

I'm not even going to hide behind any sort of "oh it wasn't real legoes so its fine" excuse, I would have 100% done this with "real" parts. Same with the painting really, I'm sick and tired of hiding behind the excuse that its acrylic so it can wash off, yes, technically, but it would take so much effort and the paints would probably stain some of the parts anyway. If something can benefit from paint or glue I'm not going to hold off just because the parts have a certain company's name on them. They're not sacred.

I can just use mineral spirits to undo everything anyway.

From the moment I saw the original ideas submission I knew: I wanted to paint it.

The GSR is a massive robot that's lain on the bottom of the ocean for millennia, and it reflects that with how dirty and rusty it is, its such an important aspect for me. And personally I quite like painting rust. It seems to be something I end up doing quite a lot.

So basically over the next couple of days I glued everything I felt needed glue, separated the model out in to several chunks, and then began painting.

First I primed it.

Then I did a black wash.

Then I started painting on the rust!

And then I realised I'd made a terrible mistake and redid everything.... Basically I kinda overestimated how much the black wash would fill in the nooks and crannies of the parts, so starting with a light primer base coat meant I was spending an inordinate amount of time trying to fill in all those little gaps and it was taking forever. So I made the correct decision of giving everything a coat of black paint first, and THEN moving on to the rust.

And after that everything went super smooth. Its really important to be open to admitting you made a mistake, and even if it will take more time its for the best to just start over.

For the bits of silver I used a similar technique to how I applied extra streaks of rust to my infected masks. It was a very enjoyable process.

After a quick coat of varnish and a day left to sit everything could go back together!

This guy is massive, around 50cm tall.

The back of the legs is by far the most interesting part of the model.

I especially like these movable pistons.

I did attempt to protect the light piping, and was somewhat successful.

The model is quiet poseable while at the same time feeling quite stable. Every joint in the legs is doubled. On thing I think is lacking is the ability for it to splay the arms completely out. But I can forgive it since, as I learned when rigging the 3d model, the arm pistons...don't really allow it. And the fact that this model actually has working arm pistons is much more of a positive in my mind.

In any case, you can just remove the pin holding the arms in and do it manually.

You may have noticed my old Mata Nui Island 3d print along with all the parts earlier. Well by some weird coincidence, they kinda match up proportion wise, ie the mouth and eye are roughly at the right places to be under the volcano and bay, respectively.

So that was a happy accident, and now I have a good way of showing how big the GSR is compared to the island.

Its big. And this is the logical size, not the insane 40000000000000 foot number thrown about by some. I have a series of posts about the various sizes of things because I find it interesting.

So in summation, I really couldn't be happier with this. The model design was great, I had a fun time painting it, and now I have a GSR model the size of a small child to display somewhere in my room. I've long been thinking of 3d printing my model, but this has really reduced my need for that. Also with recent duck related developments I've been made aware of how woefully inaccurate my model really is, and have to redo it at some point.

I have reached the maximum number of images per post. I might make a gallery post later. Good night. Have a nice weekend.

*come to bricklink and pay hundreds of dollars for the privilege of getting a smashed mask in the mail. And don't you dare expect a full refund. Not a single part in this kit was damaged and it came in a bag! You can see this guy lying in the background of some shots.

[ouaw-facts-i-just-made-up]

ok so I want to talk about my idea of trans kremy. I don't think he realised it until he was like mid 30's, I'd go as far to say that he only fully realised it after being around Gideon for a while.

I think he would've "pretended" to be a guy while doing some scam because people listen to men more, then went "oh this is kind of nice" then continued doing it until he eventually realised that he liked being a guy even when it wasn't useful. He still wanted to be a guy when the theatrics were dropped, and eventually he just decided to do so. I also think he would've had an easier time passing than most(since alligators main diphoric trait is size, he can get away by just saying he's short/was the runt[which I also think he was]), he does have pretty bad voice dysphoria though me thinks

This is a true fact.

Its never too late to learn something about yourself Kremy!

Im actually intrigued by how Gideon would react with this, obviously not mean but would he be like "I'm kind of confused" or more like "welp this is what's happening now. My best friend Kremy is a man now". Either possibility has potential for some cute and sweet moments.

The voice dysphoria 😔 Kremy probably practices too much, to the point his throat hurts. He needs it to be perfect and he can't automatically will it to be so, partly because thats not how vocal cords work but mostly because he thinks he sounds way more feminine then he actually does. Your brain is mean to you sometimes. His friends probably hype him up, compliment his voice and all that. It helps a little, and thats what counts.

[gu-ro]

I have SO MANY FUCKING FEELINGS about this scene.

Ok so

A) trans vibes. Eli was born a boy, and thats part of what she's expressing here, and Oskar just rolls with it. One of big themes of the book is the isolation inherent to growing up queer in an environment that doesnt have the space for you. The fact that Oskar is unfazed by this is sweet but also shows that Oskar is also probably a bit queer. Throughout the book he's bullied by peers to the point of it basically being a hate crime. This book pulls a reverse uno on who the monster is. Yes Eli is a vampire but she's not the evil one in the story. She just needs to survive.

B) the other big thing is that the book parallels vamparism and sexual trauma. How its this parasitic cancer that lurks in the corners of society people want to ignore. Eli has had many lifetimes worth of sexual trauma imposed on her. Her birth into vampirism was castration and was subsequently kept as a sex-slave-blood-bag. After escaping she learned that toxic men will give her things she needs if she allows them physical access to her. Some people misconstrue this in the same way people do Lolita, where in lolita its an unreliable narrator describing what he's deluded himself into thinking is happening. Similarly people ascribe adult levels of intention to Eli, claiming that she IS manipulative but its important to remember that Eli is 12. Eli is not an adult. If Eli is engaging in this behavior its because she's heavily traumatized.

So when Oskar asks her to date- and she asks "do you do anything special" sure it could be read as childhood innocence, but really its her asking "do I have to fuck you". In the book the interaction goes further. Initially, he's turned down, and Oskar is clearly sad, so Eli offers to kiss him to make him feel better. This showing she's clearly internalized that she can placate people and smooth things over by allowing access to herself physically.

Oskar however is a late bloomer. In the book its established that he doesnt understand sex. He finds a playboy magazine in the basement of his apartment complex and is mostly confused. So his answer here is of course that of a child. No of course theres nothing special beyond their intention. Only then does Eli agree.

Eli gets to BE a child here. For the first time in 400 years Eli gets to have an age appropriate relationship and BE a child again.

And Jesus fuck wow.

As someone who has a long history of sexual trauma I see myself a lot in Eli. This part of the book is so sweet and healing to me.

Let the Right One In (2008) | dir. Tomas Alfredson  

[marxistlesbianist]

Ofc I am sympathetic to trans women who are scared to leap into a movement still largely dominated by cis men—such fear is not unjustified! The solution, though, should be for proletarian trans women to organize together as proletarians, and enter into the wider socialist movement with the understanding that we have each other's backs. Trans siblinghood is not an entirely useless concept, we just need to apply it to the right context.

I think the part where this loses me is, it does sort of instinctively ring the same way as "change the movement from within", the mantra of every capitalism-reformer. I'm worried it'll be exactly as effective here as it is there, which is to say, not very? "The smart sheep will go somewhere else and the naïve sheep will be eaten and processed" and all that. am I wrong?

The problem with "change the movement from within" as a call from capitalist reformers is that the class nature of the bourgeois dictatorship does not allow for proletarian reforms, not that changing things from within is inherrently bad. The difference between our relationship to capitalist governments and to the movement for socialism is our class interests are incompatable with the former and identicle to the latter.

Transmisogyny is a fundamental pillar of patriarchy, which is in tern a fundamental pillar of capitalism. There is no way to do capitalism without the unpaid labor of women, or without "reserve army" of unemployed proletarians which so many trans women fall into. Similarly, there is no way to build a medical system that fully caters to people's actual needs and respects their autonomy so long as it exists under capitalism. Socialism is capable of adopting conservative attitudes, but its non-exploitative nature gives such attitudes no firm grounding. The majority of trans women will only be liberated through the overthrow of capitalism, we also are very far from situated to overthrow capitalism on our own. Only the proletariat as a whole (both for its size and economic standing) is able to accomplish this revolution.

Of course, there are plenty of proletarians who individually benefit from transmisogyny and fight to uphold it, but this doesn't change the fact that the proletariat as a class is not advantaged. Any underclass of hyperexploited people allows the bourgeoisie to drive everyone's wages down, and hinders the the ability of all exploited peoples to take control of our workplaces, our cities, etc. Transmisogynists who divide the labor movement and perpetuate the exploitation of some for the benefit of others are just another kind of opportunist who needs to be dealt with as such. The material conditions in the imperial core have heretofor been ripe for this sort of opportunism, but through conscious struggle we are able to change the material conditions.

This is why I advocate for proletarian trans women to band together here. The pervasiveness of transmisogyny which the bourgeoisie perpetuates (it's not the working class putting trans women on blast in the mass media 24/7) makes it so that any organization will trend in this direction without a conscious push against it. We need to build that conscious push. We are capable of doing this within proletarian organizations because, though the particulars of our exploitation may differ, our exploiters are the same.

[valleyian]

Thoughts on Tom Felton and Cursed Childs new casting

Oh boy, time for another long rant nobody asked for because I legit cannot go any longer without expressing my utter devastation and anger at this.

Let’s start with this. I hate JKR, and due to Toms connection and support of her, I hate him by proxy. Here’s what made HPCC stand out from the regular franchise. The casting was diverse, nuanced and even bold at some times, with multiple trans and queer actors having gotten lead roles. What does adding Tom Felton to the mix do? Ruin that “safe” environment that previously was made by trans/queer actors to spite JKR. The entire rewrite, the actors who helped shape the show for I inclusivity, that’s all gone now.

And before it’s mentioned, I know HPCC could never be a truly safe space for queer and trans people due to it being a part of the HP franchise. However in all of its years running, there have been so many castings of specifically queer actors to the point it feels like type casting. The changes to the script issued by trans/queer actors is also so important to acknowledge, because it combats at least SOME of JKRs stances. Previously I had assumed the HPCC show had taken their stance by doing these diverse castings. Now it is clear they’d rather prioritise money and profit.

Which leads to the next point, being that this is so obviously a cashgrab. I know HPCC isn’t selling well, especially because these past few months they’ve been doing so many collabs with old actors in a desperate attempt to stay relevant, in addition to the Brazil prod being cancelled. What breaks my heart is that HPCC BW does Genuenly have good and specifically queer fan base, that see nuances and good in the show. Not to sound sappy, but the “actual fans” of the show are what makes being in this fandom so fun. People who go to see the actors and appreciate what the show has previously stood for, especially after the rewrite.

Now the show is going to infiltrated by Draco fangirls who couldn’t give to shits about the actual show, and are only there to thirst over a middle aged man past his prime. Stage door is a nightmare, and rip to ANY new actor, especially Draco actors that will cover for him, because nobody is going to acknowledge em anymore. The fact the show is about ALBUS and SCORPIUS, yet the show is advertising more about Draco now, who mind you has like 30 min screen time in the films and even less on stage. Plus I bet there will be an influx of hate towards the actual plot of the show, because BW is running with the new even shorter script, which in my honest opinion sucks.

Lastly, Toms involvement in the show I believe will force the BW actors to be more careful about their outspokenness against JKR, in addition to NDAs being stricter. Previously BW had gotten away with so much, like nearly kisses on stages, and so many other things that and undeniably queer coded. Having Tom, and then by proxy JKR be this close to the show will ruin all that. Not only that but I doubt and hope no trans/queer actor would feel safe sharing a stage with him. Idc if he’s not directly transphobic or homophobic, he has chosen to side with JKR and that’s enough for me to not like him. Previous actors, and current ones now at West-End, constantly repost stuff about trans rights and are vocal about their political views. Being political is a part of theatre, and queer identity and the creative arts. This casting ruins that entirely, and just goes to show how in the end they’re willing to negate 4 years of the progress they made for a quick buck.

Good luck to my US fans out there 🫡🫡

[tuttle-did-it]

M*A*S*H is and was incredibly brilliant.

There are a few things I do find cringy. Season 1 in particular had a lot of unnecessary rape jokes and sexism. This did improve once Alda took over the writer’s room.

They carried Oliver’s incredibly racist nickname from the books, and rather than deal with that in the show, they just disappear him. The show is incredibly white. They could have made an episode where he said ‘hey you know, don’t call me that. It’s a racist nickname some horrible republican white man [named Hooker] gave me. I put up with it for a long time, but I am just tired of it.’ And they could have used that moment to address that ‘yeah, it’s a racist name and it we shouldn’t be saying it. Sorry, Oliver.’ Instead, the white writers just wrote him out of the show cos they didn’t really know how to write a Black character.

Klinger can occasionally be quite queerphobic whenever someone assumes he might be trans or gay. Exceptionally so, in fact. Frustratingly so— to the point where I do have mixed feelings about holding him up as a queer icon.

The show is incredibly male- the nurses are literally A, B, C (Able, Baker, Chapman, etc) and only in later years are they even acknowledged regularly or given much personality beyond being chased by the Swamp Rats.

(And this is just a personal irritation but the continuity just sucks. They change people’s backgrounds, family dynamic, marital status, age, etc with a roll of the dice and I find it irritating. )

I love M*A*S*H enough to have done a PhD on it. I have M*A*S*H tattoos. M*A*S*H is an excellent show despite all of this. Some of the best TV I’ve ever seen. But there are some pretty big flaws in this show.

I think those flaws are important to recognise. I still believe M*A*S*H is one of the best shows to ever be in television. But it does have moments where it did not live up to its potential. And I do think that needs to be recognised and understood.

One also must remember that the skeleton for the show came from Hooker’s novels. Hooker wrote Hawkeye based off himself— and Hawkeye— the protagonist— was basically Frank Burns. The writers did throw 99% of the books away to use their own research with doctors who served in Korea (they even went to Korea to interview people there about the M*A*S*H units). But the racist, sexist and super white skeletons of Hooker’s books was used.

So frankly it is a miracle the M*A*S*H TV show was as incredible as it was. Despite the flaws, everyone in the show— especially Alda— were indeed fighting constantly to make the show better. To find a new high bar. They really wanted to make a quality, meaningful show— and despite these flaws, they absolutely did. And for their era they were light years ahead of a lot of TV at the time. And they were limited in their time, as we all are, with what their society around them was.

But regardless, M*A*S*H was, and is, an incredible show that d good their best to be progressive.

Alan Alda’s send off to Loretta Swit

[finchfin]

List 5 facts about your favorite sim. Then, send this to 10 simblrs whose sims you adore. 🧡

Ahh thank you! I did Thistle first today in the other ask...might as well do my other nonbinary icon who I've been missing like a mf lately (my beloved Phoenix)

(I don't think I ever posted many of their hot weather outfits but they were some of my favorites...the backwards cap is so good on them...)

Phoenix has a thing for artists. Genuinely. Their first crush was on Cass, an artist-we all know this. But something no one knows?

They randomly got a crush on Linh at some point as well, @philodendrontrait's DIY artist queen. I never included it in posts bc it never amounted to anything gameplay wise. My goal for Phoenix's teenage years was to have them break some hearts, sleep around a bit--and then in a hilarious twist of fate the only people they liked were the two asexuals, and their chemistry with Cass was so good they basically just had a happy relationship for a while until they fucked it up beyond repair lmfao. Then they fell in love with Vivienne later, who is also an artist. None of this was intentional but it was sure as hell consistent!

2. Building on Phoenix's thing for artists-I think in spirit they were an artist too. They autonomously maxed the painting skill because whenever they weren't baking, they beelined straight for the easel and just would not stop painting. I eventually leaned into it and just let them do it bc I thought it was cute.

3. I somewhat planned out Phoenix being trans, but initially I was going to have them fully transition into a woman because I wanted my heir to be a trans butch lesbian. Not specifically for the orange gen for any reason--I just realized that although I've had many lesbian heirs, none of them were butches and that was a crime against nature. So I just had my sights set on my next heir being a butch. Phoenix wanting to use they/them pronouns as a child was supposed to be a stepping stone into transitioning to she/her, since their parent was nonbinary they were following in Thistle's footsteps at first until they would realize that they weren't quite the same. As they got older, that idea started to fit their character less and less, and the nonbinary identity started to fit them more than my initial plans-so while they are transfem, they are a nonbinary lesbian like me! My only other nonbinary lesbian in the legacy was Pepper's sibling, Nane, who I loved so dearly I almost had them be the heir (but I had my mind set on having my founder be a woman so Pepper won out in the end). I've had multiple nonbinary heirs before but none of them were lesbians until Phoenix. I have no clue why.

4. I don't remember the exact number that was in their safe, but it was over 200k. Phoenix and Vivienne were making fucking bank. I know the rules say that the pink gen grew up poor, but that is simply not what happened. I made so much money with businesses and hobbies. It was so fun. I never got past a 3 star business for either of them though-Nerine aged up just before Vivienne hit 4 stars and Phoenix fucking died so rip to the bakery I loved so much.

5. One of the requirements for maxing the public enemy sim was to witness the death of another sim. I more enjoyed Phoenix's gameplay as a baker rather than a criminal (which I think tracks for both the generation and Phoenix themself), so while I did complete this and had some posts addressing it, I never ended up posting them because they just weren't really that important. There was some random guy making fun of the dead Thayer legacy members at the family graveyard when Phoenix was dropping off a grave...you can figure out the rest.

[ghouuuuuuuul]

like, is it a hot take if i say that calling people or referring to their bodies as 'afab' is de- and misgendering or is that too much. why are you calling them female. if saying the word vulva or vagina or uterus or ovaries or breasts is to squicky for you, use a euphemism. stop calling people female. calling people afab is still calling people female and i thought we all agreed that is socially unacceptable.

ignoring some other points that tie into this, it's really frustrating as an intersex man in the transmasc community that i am on some level expected to be okay with calling myself female. in no other trans space or intersex space ive been in has this been the case.

[snekdood]

notice how when you hear about all these rich white men in high positions of power doing heinous shit, none of them end up being trans men or mascs 🤔 but surely we're just as privileged as any other cis guy right?

[picnokinesis]

Thoughts on Different Types of Representation in Doctor Who (and how fandom responds to it)

So I watched Rogue last night and - okay first, oh my days, absolutely ADORED it, this is definitely my favourite episode of this season, it was just so much FUN and it hooked me right from the start. And then the queerness! I was actually thinking to myself whilst watching it how wonderful it was because it felt like a queer story in a way that wasn't like, showboating about how progressive it was? [editorial aside: this is not comparing it to anything in particular, just a general observation]. The characters were just queer, within this wild and wonderful sci-fi story, but also their queerness wasn't the Only Character Trait they had and their story didn't resolve around their queerness, but their queerness was crucial to the plot in a way that was just lovely to see - and as a writer myself, it's personally the way I love to see our stories being told.

But then I made the mistake of going into the tag - always a foolish thing to do, because for some reason everyone loves to praise this era by criticising the previous era (as if it hasn't been criticised enough...like we know most of y'all hate Chris Chibnall for committing no worse crimes than Moffat and RTD before him...we know). And I found a couple of folks talking about how this episode alone did more for queer representation than the entirety of thirteen's era, whiiiiich at first really Peeved Me Off - like didn't these people understand how important Yaz's arc (especially Eve of the Daleks) was to a LOT of people? But then I was like 'well actually this is interesting', right? Because I think there's two very different kinds of representation going on here - and they're both very important in different ways, but one tends to get lauded as brilliant rep and one always gets put down as not good enough, or even bad rep. And what's the main difference? Whether the characters have a gay kiss or not.

So I just thought I'd share some of my thoughts and feelings on this, and why I think both these kinds of rep are equally important! To be clear from the get-go though - this is definitely not me ragging on anyone who likes more about one than the other (in fact, I think everyone likes one more than the other). This is merely a personal essay about it and the frustrations that comes when people in general do lift one up over the other. I'm gonna put it under the cut though, because it might get a bit long!

So, back when Eve of the Daleks aired, I remember having a lot of conversations about the representation in that episode - in particular with a very good friend of mine, who is a lesbian. And we realised that when it came to rep, we both actually wanted pretty different things. I'm aroace and genderfluid, and so a lot of what I saw in how thirteen was written - especially in terms of her gender (or lack thereof), and also her apparent lack of attraction (at least, in how I read it) was just incredibly affirming to me. I've never EVER seen a character on screen that I could see myself in both in terms of sexuality and gender. Whereas my friend saw things quite differently - thirteen was a lesbian, and they wanted to see that kiss between these two characters, because for them too, it was so rare to see that, and, in their words, they wanted to have their cake and eat it too. And we both realised that the reason that queer representation can feel so intense and important is, simply, because there isn't enough of it. We're all desperately reaching for the same small portion - and none of it is ever going to please everyone, or resonate with everyone. The stakes are too high.

So then, when there wasn't this dramatic romantic ending to Yaz's story, when there was no queer kiss, I was very sad for my friend, who didn't get that representation, but so painfully relieved for myself - because I got mine. So then it sucked a lot to see a lot of people getting really angry that this wasn't queer representation, that this was even homophobic - I even had someone tell me that aromantic representation in this regard was always going to be homophobic, because no-one would ever write it to be aro rep, and would instead only ever write it to avoid writing a gay kiss. And the thing that got me the most was that, REGARDLESS of whether they kissed or not, regardless of how you read either of the characters, there was one thing that was certain:

Yaz was queer. In text. Her emotional plotline centred around her realising that she was attracted to the Doctor (who was presenting as a woman - although, again, I don't think she really identified as such). The fact that she and the Doctor didn't get together by the end does not erase that fact.

They didn't kiss - but so what? Are queer people only queer when they're kissing someone of the same gender, or having gay sex? Are queer people not queer in their day to day lives, when they're not doing any of those things? Are queer people not queer when they're not dating? Are queer people not queer when they're trans, when they're ace, when they're aro, when their queerness doesn't resolve around attraction to the same gender?

And, to be honest, I think a lot of my feelings around this stem from the sort of exclusionist rhetoric that we saw a LOT of towards the ace/aro community back in 2012 that we still see now, that we're seeing towards the trans community now, that we're still seeing towards bi people, for pete's sake. It's this in-community infighting, pushing each other down to try and get up to the top, to keep all the "resources" for "the people who really need it", and it causes a serious amount of harm - but the truth is (and to bring this back to doctor who) that it all comes back to what me and my friend were discussing. We're all scared, all desperate to be seen - and when we are seen, it's the most incredible experience and the idea of losing that (or having someone else undermine it) feels inexpressibly awful. Having the thirteenth doctor...I suddenly realised this is what all the straight cis white dudes get all the time. She was like me, and that was indescribable. And then losing her - and having RTD not even be able to have a man wear her clothes because he was too worried about what the tabloids would say to be able to show a gnc person on tv...and then constantly described her as The Woman Doctor for the next entire episode - that hurt. A lot.

I've spoken to other friends who felt so seen in the character of Yaz - those people who realised they were queer later in life, those who fall in love with people and it doesn't end up going anywhere, those who don't get the whirlwind queer romances that people often call 'good representation'. Myself and many of my aspec friends have felt so seen in thirteen's almost entirely romance-less arc, and myself and my trans/genderqueer friends felt very seen in the way that thirteen's character would have been exactly the same if she'd been a man - the only difference was how the other characters around her interacted with her. Gender was something that happened to her. And when I watch episodes like Rogue, even though I don't relate to that representation, I just feel overwhelmed with joy because I know how important it will be to others that I care about. I think my sadness then comes from the fact that the way Thirteen and Yaz were written are just as important to me and many people that I know, but because they didn't kiss, it's not considered queer enough. Am I not queer enough, then? Are my friends not queer enough?

We need more episodes like Rogue, like The Parting of Ways, like Praxeus, like The Doctor Falls, because they are unquestionably and unapologetically queer, in a way that can't be avoided. We also need more episodes like Eve of the Daleks, like The Haunting of the Villa Diodati, like the rest of thirteen's era where the representation is an undercurrent throughout the whole story - but also undeniable, in a way that Yaz's story arc is, even if it doesn't end in a kiss, even if it doesn't end neatly and happily. Personally, I definitely would love to see more stories focused on aromanticism and on transness (especially ones that are written by trans people for trans people, rather than by cis people for cis people), but that's probably going to be down to people like me and other writers that I know actually getting into the script writing industry - and that depends on the people who are already there letting us in. One thing that I've always appreciated about Chibnall is that, after leaving Doctor Who, he began a programme for training up new showrunners with ITV, because: "showrunners are the gatekeepers and too many of the gatekeepers look like me."

Anyway, I probably have more thoughts that I've forgotten, but that's generally the gist of it. I think the more we fight over whether rep is 'good' or 'bad', relating to whether we see ourselves in it or not (rather than 'is this genuinely harmful or unhelpful', which I think is a more crucial question) the more the waters get muddied. We have different needs and wants, and no single episode is going to represent every facet of our community. But each episode, each story like this is a step in the right direction - and even rep that isn't perfect (I have thoughts about The Star Beast, for example) is still extremely positive and important, and definitely something that should be celebrated, even as we keep looking to the future for what we would like to see done differently, done better. And some day, I hope, there'll be so much queer rep, it'll be so normal, that those stakes won't feel so high anymore. It won't feel like everything hangs on how a certain show or storyline or episode is written. We'll all be seen. And that will be absolutely fantastic.

[deadandphilgames]

life update o_0