#And I did 12 of said hours yesterday LMAO

[zelda7999]

Disfaiust and Aegroul goin' for a stroll!~ Wonder what they're talking about...

Aegroul belongs to the lovely @secretsinthesilentdark! :D Disfaiust is my Sona/OC

I wanted to murder friend, and therefore I went all out 💛 hehehehe

[charlesswife]

Una Noche En Mónaco i

Vaya noche la de anoche. (What a night last night)

unem master list

pairing: charles leclerc x latina! reader

summary: after a one night stand between you and charles, charles continues on with his f1 career. until two months later, you come back claiming to be pregnant with his child.

warning: bad writing, charles is a bit of an asshole at first, is going to be a series. google translate because I do not speak french. teen pregnancy (very cliche, I know. I'm sorry)

a/n: this is based on the idea i posted yesterday, which you all seem to like a lot. i want to clarify that english isn't my first language so please be kind if you see any error, i am trying my best. Also I am very new to formula one, i am binge watching drive to survive and the races. also i hope the timeline is correct lmao. ALSO i am not very great at writing smut so don't expect to see smut until i get better at writing it. enjoy!

word count: 1,771

Just to clarify: If I'm not wrong. In 2018, Charles was 20, turning 21 in that year. Reader is going to have an age gap of two years. So reader is 18 turning 19.

gif is not mine! i love this gif tho, he looks so good.

March 2018

Everything from last night was a blur. I remember his green eyes on me. And then his lips. And then his skin. And then a bit more. 

The music was louder than my thoughts. Monaco is a beautiful country with even more beautiful people. 

Steph grabbed my hand and dragged me to the bar. "One Jack Daniel's with coke and one Cosmopolitan, please." She told the bartender. 

"Cosmopolitan?" I asked. 

"Oh girl, it's so good. It's vodka with cranberry juice, lemon juice, syrup, and..." She stopped for a second while her eyes drifted to something behind me. "Oh god, he's cute." I was going to turn around and look until she stopped me. "Wait, don't turn yet!"

By that time, the bartender put our drinks in front of us. I thanked him. "Girl, he's looking at you."

"Is he your kind of cute or mine?" 

"I would do it sober, on a Monday." Okay. I have to turn around and see said man. "If he wants anything, he'll come to us." She dragged me to another part of the bar. 

We danced and drank, and slowly I was forgetting about the 'gorgeous' man. I checked my phone. 12:00. 

It has been two hours since we got to the bar. 

When the song ended, we headed to the bar area, I asked the bartender for another drink. "Wait here, I have to run to the bathroom," Steph yelled in my ear and then made a beeline to the bathroom. I took the scenery in. The music was louder than before and everyone was dancing to a song I don't know of. 

The bartender put the drink in front of me, and I thanked him again. I lost count of how many times I have thanked him. 

"This is your fourth drink, is it not?" I heard a male voice next to me. I turned to see the owner of the voice. 

Green eyes. Dimpled smile. His body leaned to mine. 

"You're keeping tabs on me?" I asked.

"Hard not to," he said. He turned to the bartender and said, "Fermer la onglet. apporte-elle de l'eau. Je paierai la facture." (Close the tab, and bring her some water. I will pay for her bill.) The bartender nodded. The man turned to me again. 

"What did you tell him?" I'm not even going to lie. His accent was very sexy. 

"Nothing much. C'mon. Let's dance." he grabbed my hand and dragged me to the dance floor. 

He pulled me close to his body. Very close. His green eyes and hands were all over me. And I let him.

He leaned closer to my ear and said, "So are you going to tell me your name or will I only know as the beautiful foreign girl?" 

"You think I'm beautiful?" I asked laughing a bit. 

"Everybody in this room thinks you are beautiful," he smiled, "So?" 

"y/n," I told him. He repeated my name again, trying to see how my name feels on his lips. "And you?" I asked him. 

"Charles" I repeated his name and his smile got wider. Deepening his dimples. "Leclerc" 

Somewhere in the room, a phone rang. I was entangled with Charles that I just let it ring. His face is so calm, without worries. 

"I can feel you staring at me, mon cherie," he murmured. "do you always stare at people when you wake up?"

"Not always," I said. "you're the only exception." He smiled at my comment and opened his eyes. 

"Hello" 

"Hi," I whispered. 

"Was that your phone or mine?" He asked. 

"I don't know. If it's important, they'll ring again." As soon as the words left my mouth. The phone rang again. I let out a little whine that made Charles laugh. 

"That's your phone, that's not my ringtone." I got out of bed and looked for the phone. 

"I can feel you staring at me, mon cherie" I mocked him. 

"A sight like you should be stared at all the time." I smiled at his comment. I found my phone in between the pile of clothes that was left on the floor. Steph <3 appeared on my screen.

I lay on the bed again with Charles and answered the phone. 

"Hey bitch, I've been calling you all morning" 

"Sorry" I answered "I just woke up" 

"Are you still with the French boy?" Steph asked with a joking tone. I can't remember most of last night. But she knows about Charles and the fact he speaks French.

"I'm Monegasque," He said a bit loud, just for her to hear. 

"He says he's Monegasque" I repeated. 

"Uhhh, native. I like it. Well, text me when you're on your way back" With that, she hangs up. I looked back at Charles. 

"So, another round?" 

At first, Steph was excited for me. She was hoping for Charles to be the next thing to occupy my mind instead of my parents.

She wasn't wrong. The Monegasque lived in my mind rent-free for the past month. Especially after I found out I was pregnant. 

Two pink lines.

Positive. 

"So? What does it say?" Steph asked. I didn't say anything. Tears started to form in my eyes. "Oh god, I need a drink" She disappeared from the bathroom to the kitchen. 

Steph made me take a pregnancy test after several different random cravings that I had. She had enough of me after I ate a burger with extra extra pickles, and then more pickles on the side. For context, I hate pickles, with my life. 

Fuck. 

"y/n... what are you gonna do?" I haven't realized that she came back into the room, a glass of wine in her hand. 

"well... what's done it's done. it's my responsibility to take care so it." I answered. 

"Yeah! But so it's his! He has to be responsible too!" she yelled. 

I let the tears run down my face. "And how?! I don't have his number! It's not like I could just send him a text saying 'Hey! remember when we fucked a month ago? well, I'm pregnant now, congrats! be responsible and take care of it" 

Steph stayed quiet for a moment, just staring at me. After a while, she said, "Do you think he is on Instagram? I mean, think about it, almost everyone is on Instagram." she waved her wine at me. 

"And if he's not?" my voice broke for a moment. This is all too much for me. I am overwhelmed and drowning in my own feelings. 

"We can only hope so." She put her wine on top of the dresser and reached for her back pocket for her phone. "What was his name again?" 

"Charles," I said. 

"Love, I'm going to need more than that"

"Umm... His last name was a hard one. It was Lec... Lec-something"

For a moment, she looked at me and then back at her phone. "Leclerc?" She asked, doubt very clear in her voice.

"Yes! Leclerc. Why? Did you find him? You should get a job in the FBI" I commented while fidgeting with my hands. I was very nervous. 

"Is it him?" She turned her phone towards me. The first thing I see was a black and white picture of Charles sitting on top of a counter with an Alfa Romeo jacket. The date was March 4, 2018. Just a few days before we met. 

"Yes," I confirmed, "Wow, you are better than a PI" She slide her finger up a little and I looked at the username. Charles_leclerc with a verified check. "He's verified? Why is he verified?" I felt my heart going eighty miles per hour. 

"You fucked and got pregnant by a Formula One driver," Steph said, in a monotone voice. 

Oh fuck. 

"What do I do now?" I asked her as I made my way to my bed to sit down. 

"Well, you know who he is now. You just gotta find a way to find him and tell him." She said as she sat down and wrapped her arms around me. 

Yeah. Right. Like that's going to be easy. 

May 2018 

"When will the phase of puking stops when pregnant?" I asked Steph as I rubbed my small bump. 

"You're asking the wrong person. I am not Google" She replied. 

"You would be more awesome if you were Google" I joked as I sat at the dinner table.

The aroma of pho and fried dumplings is drugging me right now. Steph is a great chef. So am I, but I hate washing dishes. 

I am glad I have Steph to take care of me. Steph has been my best friend for the longest, she's a year older than me, but she treats me and takes care of me as if I'm her daughter. She was there for me when my parents died. She dropped everything and came with me across the world. And now she's taking care of me while being pregnant. I truly don't know what I would do without her. 

Steph served me chicken pho and eight delicious fried pork dumplings. I waited for her to sit down. 

She glanced at me for a second and then smiled. "You look like a child, waiting for permission to eat." 

I laughed. "Well, I'm sorry I waited for you," I said as I grabbed the spoon and put some of the broth in it, and then took it to my mouth. It is so savory. "This is so good" I grabbed the chopsticks and grabbed a dumpling. I blow a bit into it so I don't burn myself. I took a big bite. "Oh my gosh, this is the best dumpling." 

"You know what's better than a fried dumpling?" she asked while she wiggled her eyebrows. 

"A soup dumpling!" I said. As soon as the words left my mouth, I heard a ting! coming from my phone. I thought my phone was in silence. We both laughed a bit at the timing and sound of the phone. 

I turned my phone, immediately illuminating from the raise to wake mode. My smile dropped. 

+377 123 456 7890 

Hey, this is Charles. I'm in Monaco for a few weeks, mon cherie. Do you want to meet? 😉

I slammed my phone back to the table and looked at Steph. "What?" she asked. I looked back at my phone, making sure it wasn't a hallucination in my head. The text message was still there. 

With shaken hands, I hand her my phone while I eat the other portion of the dumpling. She looked at the text, then at me. "Oh fuck..."

Oh fuck indeed. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Ahhhhhh!!!!! This is the first chapter of many more to come! Please let me know what you think of it. I would very much appreciate any type of comment, whether it is your opinion or just anything! It would def motive me more to keep going.

@mac-daddy-210 @infinite-wanders @rbrsavage @itsyogurlkel @bbygrlllllll @nerdreader @imnotcryingyouare1 @killerangel88 @obx-mylove-things-blog @triorion @daniellarogers @insssanemindd @bosinclairsgff

[thatswhatsushesaid]

tagged (kinda) by @mingguangsword!

i lost my first draft of this post 😭 let's try again.

1. why did you choose your url? because i am weak for puns, and because i am actually su she. weepy yet defensive lestat de lioncourt at the end of s2 voice, i am him, he is me.

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them. a whole whack of them:

@dailyayao which is just daily screenshots and scans of jin guangyao from all versions of the mdzs canon

@yaozongzhupressoffice my neglected satire blog where i answer asks and reblog stuff in-character as yao-zongzhu. occasionally will make references to his entirely heterosexual feelings for his very good friend ouyang-zongzhu in the tags.

@itwasabeautifulwebbing my minthara baenre from baldur's gate 3 simping blog lol. it's also turning into a catch-all for various video game nonsense, tho i'm definitely not as active there as i am here.

@fakerashid same deal as above, just for armand from amc's interview with the vampire.

3. how long have you been on tumblr? i first joined back in 2011 with a different username back in the migration of the dragon age fandom from livejournal to tumblr, and have been kicking around in some form or another ever since.

4. do you have a queue tag? sure do! 'moling queue' because, as i said, i'm weak for puns.

5. why did you start your blog in the first place? originally this blog had a different username, and i started it with the intention of cross-posting very serious horror fiction thinkpieces from a wordpress site. obviously i stopped doing that and have been enjoying myself a lot more here since i stopped taking myself so seriously lmao.

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp? i don't understand the question, that's literally me, su-zongzhu. (please god recognize this is a joke)

7. why did you choose your header? i just think jgy and sms look very powerful and dapper together in that scene. 😌

8. what’s your post with the most notes? some unfortunate ides of march shitpost that broke containment within an hour, i have it muted and hope to never think about it again.

9. how many mutuals do you have? no idea. lots? lots and lots?

10. how many followers do you have? 1271 as of this morning.

11. how many people do you follow? apparently 400 on the nose

12. have you ever made a shitpost? absolutely not, i don't have a sense of humour or believe in laughter.

13. how often do you use tumblr each day? every time my attention wanders pretty much lmfao (despondent)

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? never!!!! 😬

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts? i ignore them.

16. do you like tag games? yes!

17. do you like ask games? "i love them, but i don't like chain asks" <- same hat

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? "probably ray" <- oh no oh dear 😬 i think if i qualify as tumblr famous (doubt.jpeg) then probably a bunch of my mutuals are, too.

19. do you have a crush on a mutual? i am boring and married so no.

20. what is the last song you listened to? this performance of the famous "flowing water" composition for the guqin.

21. what are you currently watching? nirvana in fire, and it's consumed my soul. mei changsu 👀...... /clenches my fist

22. sweet/ savoury/ spicy? "savory"! <- correct!!!

23. what is your current relationship status? "literally on my way to break up with someone T_T i'll be single in a few hours!!!" <- omg fennel!!??? um, as i said above, i'm married! no plans to divorce mr. sushesaid, he surprised me with flowers and takeout from my favourite indian restaurant yesterday because i was having a rough day.

24. what is your current obsession? jin guangyao. it's still jin guangyao. it's probably going to be jin guangyao this time next year too.

25. what are nine albums/ songs you've been listening to lately?

it's not an album, but basically all of the ensemble and solo performances by zi de guqin studio on youtube.

return to cookie mountain, tv on the radio

the wellermen's album of shanties and other arranged covers

the hades 2 videogame soundtrack

the baldur's gate 3 videogame soundtrack

the chain, fleetwood mac

all of the lyrical ballads from the kentucky route zero videogame soundtrack (are u noticing a pattern, because i am)

the haven videogame soundtrack

the assassin's creed valhalla videogame soundtrack

tagging: @ratheralark @holy--milk @carnivorous-horses-lover @sunriseverse @watertightvines @frodo-of-the-nine-fingers @confusion-and-more @occasionalinanity @varethinsilico @thepurplewombat @peacocksdance and anyone else who puts eyes on this thing and feels moved to complete it.

[yusufs-stew-of-romance]

My transcript of Arjen Lubach's interview with Marwan Kenzari. DO NOT REUPLOAD I tried my best - it was a fun interview, and they were both being little shits lmao, there was a great really joke-y vibe.

AL: "My guest is a Haagse (indicating he's from Den Haag) Hollywood star. Yesterday evening he was attending the premiere of Black Adam, and today he's at the desk of White Arjen, also very cool. He shines next to the greatest stars in the coolest movies." [cut to montage of TOG, Instinct, MOTO, Aladdin] AL: "We saw him in The Old Guard, Instinct, Murder on the Orient Express, Aladdin, and unfortunately we couldn't afford to pay for more fragments. Give it up for Marwan Kenzari!" TS 00.52

AL: "What nice of you to be here!" MK: "Yes, thank you for allowing me to be here." AL: "Sure! How are you?" MK: "I'm good!" AL: "Great. Now that we have that out of the way. You flew in straight from London, I believe, this afternoon, right? Yesterday the premiere of BA. How was the premiere?" MK: "Eh, big! and it's always at Leicester Square and and that's ehm, yeah, a lot of fans (in attendence.) The subject of this movie has a big loyal fanbase in itself." AL: "Because it's DC comics, right?" MK: "Yes, exactly" AL: "And that's one of those super-hero worlds." MK: "Yes, so it was really exciting, everyone was there, it was gezellig (cozy/he had a good time with the cast), eh, the showing of the movie went well, so it was - I was happy/glad I got to go and attend." AL: "How nice! We have a picture of the premiere, and it doesn't match with how chill you are right now. Because, I see you standing there with - who do we see - the Rock, right? Dwayne Johnson, Pierce Brosnan..." MK: "Aldis Hodge, Noah Centineo…" AL: "This was from last night! and now you're here in our funky small VPRO studio." MK: "Yes, exactly that." AL: "So, something about Black adam. We also have a short fragment of the trailer.. (MK: yes), ehm, shall we just watch it? And then after I have a question for you about it." MK: "That's okay." AL: "Let's watch it."

[BA trailer plays]

TS 2:23

AL: "Yes, so, you have a big role in this movie, and yet you're nowhere to be seen in this trailer. Are you sure you made it into the final cut of the movie?" MK: "You never know! No, no, I never said I had a big role." AL: "Yeah, okay." MK: "but it's ehm," AL: " But you were on the red carpet with 5 famous - so that was my assumption..." MK: "Yes, well, they allowed me to participate and I'm really happy they did but they - the way they shape the trailer and how they cut it, that in itself is a world of its own - I don't want to talk it right for them, but they have their reasons to why they cut me out in places where they could've left me in, and that's uh, it's a spoiler sensitive role, let's put it that way." AL: "Ah, so that's it. Okay, later we're having an after-party so we can speculate about this there."

TS 3:12

AL: "What can you tell me about the film, about it's contents? What's the story?" MK: "Well, like you said, it's DC comics so it's the world of a couple of really famous hero's like Wonder woman, Batman, Superman, and it's a complex story - have you got time?" AL: "Eh, not really no but make an effort." MK: "Well the story takes place in a fictive city, ehm, eh, in a fictive country I should say, we follow a young lady, a rebel against the current regime, and the government is feverishly digging for an important, eh, kind of product which is called Eternium and," AL: "This is going to be really long isnt it?" MK: "Yeah, well I'll try to summarize it in two sentences then Dwayne Johnson plays Black Adam who's actually a slave from five thousand years ago who gets brought back to life present day," AL: "wow" Mk, undisturbed: "BY THE SEARCH FOR THIS CROWN made of eternium… yes." MK: "And then I've actually left out so much of the story." AL: "Yes, I hope about two hours of movie you've left out."

TS 4:43

AL: "You've also done a lot of Dutch movies, Wolf and De Oost and these kinds of projects. Have you noticed any big differences between those and American movie sets? So not so much working with actors, but differences in logistics and these kind of things?" MK: "At it's core, no not really, because making film is a beautiful process of just searching. The morning you show up on set to do scenes, those scenes don't exist yet - maybe only on paper. So the process is maybe the same, but there's different budgets and you're working with people with forty years of experience, and, everything can be done/nothing is impossible, and the construction - it's like using a different muscle to come to these scenes (in shaping them), but in the end it's just a search for the story you're trying to tell." AL: "Did we lose you forever to Hollywood or are you coming back to the Netherlands to do stuff here as well?" MK: "I don't - I don't get to make these calls." AL: "No no you have to make a decision right now!" MK: "No, no what I'm trying to say is that I don't know! I am ALLOWED to play in these films (as in he's lucky to being cast), and I'm grateful that I am allowed, and if it's a Dutch movie I am just as happy." AL: "You're such a humble man." MK: "oh, that's all fake." AL: "I immediately believe that, and a great actor apparently."

TS 5:51

AL: "Can you say anything about upcoming projects?" MK: "Yes, so we just shot the sequel to the Old Guard, a movie for Netflix with Charlize Theron in the main lead, and, among others, Matthias Schoenaerts, Luca Marinelli, Chiwetel Ejiofor, and this time in part 2 Una Therman and Henry Golding, so a huge, amazing, diverse cast of hardworking actors which results in all kinds of bruises and injuries and a dislocated shoulder and a thumb -" AL: "What? Because they're so disciplined that when you make a mistake they beat you into the floor or? How did these wounds get to be in this story? It's because they take this role so seriously they forget the physical objects or something? Like... gravity?" MK: "Yeah no, it's just because you're shooting 80 days of 12hour shoots and sometimes you bump your knee." AL: "And then you just go through it." MK: "Yeah." AL: "Yeah wow okay, awesome."

AL: "Are you ever standing still with the fact that you get to do all these cool stuff like, wondering what you're doing there or are you taking it a bit for granted? (laughs) I'm filling in for you (apologetic)" MK: "No no, I would lie if I said it wasn't special, but I also got to meet Remco Campert (a famous Dutch poet) in the Vondelpark, which is probably my highest point of being starstruck." AL: That's also nice. Fuck you Charlize Theron. eh. No, I was kidding" (fuck you as in marwan not being starstruck for her lmao) MK: "He was making a joke!" AL "I'm a huge fan please come to the show." AL: "yeah, I'm really excited about the film, black adam, I haven't seen it yet. I wasn't allowed to see it yet you guys were really stern on that so I am really curious, I'm definitely going to check it out. Good luck for all your future projects. Thank you, Marwan Kenzari!"

[kinetic-elaboration]

December 12: Work Shit

Today was such a shitty day. And for the most dumb-fuck reasons too. There was work drama in the morning so incredibly inane I am embarrassed to post about it in a pubic space but the tl;dr of it is that I had no opinions about the thing, but was still the brunt of others’ (an other’s really) annoyance about it. We kept saying ‘it’s not personal’ as we spoke harshly to each but it felt SO personal, and I just couldn’t get over it for pretty much the rest of the day. I am quite sure it wounded me more and affected me for longer than anyone else. I want to be like ‘please don’t do this to me, I am a sensitive flower, I am easily emotionally decimated’ but also like ‘I am not bothered at all (lying), I am strong and fine, I am above this, I am not engaging because there is nothing to engage with.’

Again, there was nothing to engage with. But it just made me feel so shitty. I still feel kind of sad even now, to be honest. I was so bummed out and tired that I took a nap as soon as I got home (after a bus ride sitting in front of someone who was yelling into their phone and kept saying ‘no one can hear me! It’s the bus!’—um? We can all hear you because it’s the bus?). There was probably nothing else for me to do but of course now I am up late because it takes a while to wake up again from a nap, then I am all riled up and easily distracted. So I will go to sleep at a stupid hour again, and also have accomplished nothing with my paltry post-work hours.

Fuck I’m so depressed. This is such a depressing train of thought.

Anyway, yesterday I mentioned at work that I had never seen a single episode of Doctor Who (this is the truth: I think I saw a partial episode on TV, but not even the whole thing) and this shocked my co-worker considerably. She said it was incredibly surprising of me or something of that nature. And I do not know how to take this. I mean, probably what she means is ‘you are known as someone who likes science fiction and is rather nerdy’ and these are true things and also positive reputations to have. But I have literally never given the slightest fuck about Doctor Who lmao. I can’t tell you why, but it obviously doesn’t feel weird to me that I don’t because I never have! Obviously I’ve been in a lot of spaces that are sort of Who-adjacent (fandom, tumblr, nerd-dom, crossover appeal with other stuff I like) but it’s never been tempting or intriguing at all. It’s not on my list.

What I said was just like… a non-answer that sounded like an answer based on my tone of voice. Like, ‘Hmmm, well I’ve seen a partial episode on TV and I’ve seen Torchwood.’ This is all true but does not at all address the surprise or the reasons of my not being interested. I was surprised by her surprise, I don’t have good reasons, and also all I could say would probably read as insulting to Who fans, one of whom was in the room.

I think part of it is, honestly, that my mom isn’t into Doctor Who, and so I did not have anyone getting me into it at a formative time. Not that people can’t get into Who independently and not that I haven’t gotten into things independently but I just… I really think that in this particular instance, if she had been into it, I would have been. My mom being into Torchwood is the reason I watched it (well… 2-ish seasons). She thinks Who is a kids’ show and while it’s probably more a family show, that opinion really influenced my non-desire to watch it.

Another part is that I’m sort of a sci-fi poser in a way. I hate to admit it but it’s true. I love that people think of me as a sci fi fan and I think of myself that way too but I am NOT well read. I’m more like an ST:TOS fan with aspirations to sci fi fandom. This isn’t to say I want to pick up Who (or Dune, the other piece of science fiction I was strangely assumed to be familiar with), but I do want to be more well-read in some classic sci fi literature, as well as be more aware of like modern sci fi stuff. Especially books. There are very few sci fi TV series that interest me. A couple but not a ton.

I also have a weird definition of science fiction which is, it’s science fiction if it FEELS like science fiction to me, personally, the arbiter of all things. Some media are in the sense that they can’t be anything else, I guess, but they don’t feel like science fiction to me and so I’m not interested, which is a weird and irrational and unreasonable thing for me to say, but it’s the middle of the night and I’m sad so there it is.

[hayleylwong]

reflection 05-03-2023

7:39pm - today feels better than yesterday. i woke up at 12:30 after getting probably around 6 hours of sleep, and went to talk to people after getting ready. i ate drey sushi while i was getting ready. i did laundry yesterday so i actually got dressed and it was worth it bc kayla said she liked my top. i ate a croissant and yerba mate with kadee on janss steps it was very relaxing and a happy time. then i was able to be productive in the afternoon it was weird that i didn’t feel that drained while i was doing it. i think it was because of the yerb. i even had time to do some actual schoolwork and took notes on an orgo lecture from last week. i am worried about later tonight but at least my workout clothes will be clean today.

update from yesterday: we went to universal overlook and then he drove me around his hometown lmao. he couldn’t get too close to his house bc he didnt want to activate the ring camera 💀💀 it felt weird. what is w guys and viewpoints. at least the words ‘i know a spot’ were not said out loud. i wish i could have seen my club friends it seemed like they had fun last night.

8:07pm - i did not take notes on orgo i did not understand the first five minutes. i will do math instead i think and deal w that later.

8:27 - i cannot find my lulu align tank. i thought i washed it yday so idk where it could have gone. this is a sad day unless i find it later.

12:17 - i got feast w chelsea and kelly. it is cold but still okay. i am going to eat the egg even though i hate egg yolk.

<3

[malevolententity]

hello season 2 i am in Pain

project 4

to start this off. you all must know that i loath granny squares. i think theyre Fine to make as a boredom time killer! theyre fairly easy to work up! but making Pieces. Making Whole Ass Projects Out Of Squares? killing myself. killing god even. killing every pattern maker and every urge in me to Make the thing.

i hate this bag with a passion. i like it because the mushrooms are cute! its made entirely of scrap yarn that couldnt be used in other projects but a granny square project was perfect! the entire point of this bag is to put in every piece i make, that i keep, while watching ordem into this! it shall serve its purpose well. but i hate it. i hate this thing so much.

this wretched thing took about 14 hours? i started it 2 hours into season 2. i finished this bag with about 10 minutes to spare on episode 4. this is a 14 hour bag and i hate my life with a passion but its okay because i made something to hold things i like more LMAO.

i am though very proud of it working out colorwise as well as it did since its made of all scrap yarn. the handle doesnt work as Well as i was hoping but i think it still pulls all the blues nicely for the most part. and again its just a think to hold projects for the moment unless i end up gifting it. for not proper planning i Do like it even if i kinda hate it xD

season thoughts so far

dude luis can not catch a break like i Know both deaths of his so far have been purposeful by his own hand. but like what the fuck dude, he can not have a character that lives to see episode 4 huh. i like the big weird spider ngl i hope we get a fucked up brocket or a fucked up bear with whatever the fuck is going on in the forest. m kinda neutral on arthur right now but i know he'll grow on me as we get more episodes in, god m gonna miss cris and esp what growth we coulda had between cris and cesar but i know its probably gonna kick off a wonderful cesar arc. assuming he survives to see said arc.

still big fan of joui, in love with the entire conversation between joui and liz surrounding The Stairs Incident hes soooooo. that fucking conversation took me out. i cant wait to see what happens next and who the next casualty is because i knew getting into it, but esp now that this is a no holds series, you will just die and have to learn how to keep going. since i dont check the wiki m really interested to see if luis comes back in the next? 12 episodes i think are left? with a new character or if hes just gone from the season and i gotta wait for season 3 to see him again.

and sadly :( i can not watch anymore ordem for the next little bit even tho i have a project and yarn all picked out because i hurt my wrist yesterday while crocheting and did the Silly of finishing this piece today even with slight pain. so m gonna be kind to myself a rest a few days even tho i reaaaally wanna see whats in this fucked up bone house???? human skull effigy house its Gotta be something interesting. but until then. i shall simply enjoy normal streams and learning more portuguese

[starry-hughes]

I support star rights and star wrongs. Complain about them roommates baby

LMAO

okay

fine twist my arm 🤭🤭

yesterday or saturday they came into my room and they were complaining about how they feel gross and disgusting when they walk into the apartment because it’s dirty. and the reason i had slacked on cleaning was because i was busy and hungover all weekend and have basically only been sleeping at the house for the last two weeks.

and then they proceeded to just not clean and sit on the couch while i cooked everyone dinner and then i was tired and i wake up at 6:15am and they sleep in to 11-12 and so i asked them if they could please clean up and they said sure and then they didn’t

and they were home all day, still complaining about the apartment being dirty. and it’s really just cluttered with their shit. like i spend most of my time in my room and the stuff that is cluttering the living room, i swear on my momma, is none of mine. the most i can think of is the fact that my printer is in the book nook because i had to move it out of my room for something or my shoes that are next to the shoe rack

but the rest is theirs. and then i come home after they had been awake since noon and didn’t work until 5pm, and the house is still a mess. i did all the dishes, found the missing dishes in their room, cleaned up their trash (empty sodas, half eaten apples, empty containers) in the living room before even changing from work clothes or using the bathroom

and i’m just livid. but i feel like im not understanding it because they work 2 on 3 off or 3 on 2 off, 12 hour shifts so i understand that they are tired and work nights sometimes but i’m also tired. i work m-f, wake up at 6:15am and get home at 5pm-5:30pm and i know i only work 8 hours a day but im exhausted too and i do the dishes and wipe down the stove and buy the cleaning supplies and pick up the trash.

i did not mean to ramble so long im so sorry

[itsjaywalkers]

hello laurie!! <3 insane commute nonnie here (again) omg i read oby yesterday omw to class (ended up staying at my friend's again bc his roommate was still out. sadly he's back) and i should not have done that bc OMG?? BABE I WAS LITERALLY THINKING ABT THEM THE WHOLE TIME UT GOT SO BAD I SAW MY PROFESSOR (he doesn't even look like james. he's just fit in a 'Hear me out guys...' way)N BLUSHED I WAS ACTUALLY GIGGLING AT RANDOM TIMES THINKING ABT THEM also like. sirius n regulus in this😭😭 regulus cursing sirius out for being a good brother is so real to me as someone with 12 year older brother bc he spent my entire childhood terrorizing me n now he's the sweetest person Ever. not even in an evil way he's just genuinely nice to me so if i ever complain abt him everyone goes ??? YOUR brother??? its so annoying (i love him). just reg veing grumpy<3 he's my fav little purse man and ok oh god never thought i'd say this. i have NEVER gotten the whole daddy thing but now im just🧍‍♂️bc i need to call james potter daddy while he fucks me what who said that also like. extreme apologies for how extremely inappropriate this might've gotten i was up all night studying for a quiz we have today (cannot catch a break w these ppl istg) n i swear my brain refuses to function and i have no idea!!! (please pray for me) also i hope you're doing great<3 sadly i do know work and adult things but im glad to know that nothing bad's going on!! you deserve the best<33 also i Absolutely get being funnier in your mother tongue sometimes i have these sudden thoughts n they're soo funny but i have to translate them which is like. okay but the vibes change istg!! i usually end texting my siblings abt it bc someone deserves to know how absolutely funny i am!! (all i do is make dad jokes) and (im actually so sorry bc ik you prob dont mind the book-long asks but its still!! so embarrassing!! like girl why are you yapping sm!!) i haven't read the 2nd part yet (i read the first part n just stared ahead blankly for like an hour after i read the 1st part. it did things to me) but im gonna read it after my quiz as a little treat<3 thank you for writing them sm!!!<3

HI BABE <333 sorry it took me so long to get back to u, life has been soooo hectic istg

AND OMG IM STILL SO SHY ABOUT U READING OBY but i'm so glad u enjoyed it and that it had the desired effect, it's definitely not the type of story u should read in class or just like . in front of ppl . i don't blame u for getting all flustered around ur professor even if he doesn't look anything like james. it's just the vibe yk??? you're literally so real for that

sirius and reg in oby are !! so important to me !! i feel like they have the best relationship in all of my fics, bc they're on good terms on nothing happens too but they argue . a lot . and they're gonna have some issues down the line. and they're also very close in the boxer au but there's still gonna be a lot of angst regarding their relationship. in oby, tho, they're just brothers <3 they love each other so much <3 and i'm so glad i'm portraying their dynamic accurately bc a lot of their convos are based on stuff me and my sisters have talked/fought about lmao

LISTENNNN I ALSO WASN'T INTO THE WHOLE DADDY THING like i didn't mind it and i read it occassionally but i didn't seek it out. but now that i'm actively writing it . well . i guess i kinda get the appeal (girl who doesn't even have a daddy kink) SO I GET U I REALLY DO

u don't have to apologiseeee i'm always happy to open horny hours especially if it's for james potter <3 and also i know it's been a few days but i hope the quiz went well and that u never do that again bc u need to rest!! i mean it!!

i'm doing quite well actually!! work's been a nightmare but apart from that i'm great!! i recently moved into a new flat with two friends and the place is soooo nice i'm in love with it i can't believe it's ours <333 AND SAMEEEE i always complain about it to my sisters or my spanish friends bc it annoys me to no end like . i'm literally soooo funny and it pains me that you'll never realise bc it's only when i speak in my first language ugh

I REALLY DON'T MIND THEM BABE IN FACT I LOVE THEM NEVER STOP and don't apologise again i'll kick ur ass!!! and god you're so very sweet to me, i hope u enjoyed/enjoy it and i'm sending u the biggest hug + forehead kissie in the world MWAH <3

[1901ghost]

1. What are you wearing? Short jeans, pink blouse and a pink bow.

2. Ever been in love? Of course, even though I don’t want to do that anymore.

3. Ever had a terrible breakup? Yup.

4. How tall are you? 1,56cm (5ft3).

5. How much do you weigh? Around 54 kg.

6. Any tattoos you want? None. I don’t like them, but respect them.

7. Any piercings you want? Nope. Not my favorite thing.

8. OTP? A what? I'm🤡

9. Favourite show(s)? Anne with An E, Monster: The Jeffrey Dahmer Story, Malcolm in the Middle and Courage the Cowardly dog.

10. Favourite band? The Beatles 💕 then Queen

11. Something you miss? I miss my ballet and French classes, I miss the time where I didn’t have to worry about money.

12. Favourite song(s)? Well, there are many but the ones I have been listening to often for now are: Little Lamb Dragonfly, Maybe I’m Amazed, Hey Jude, Put your Records on by Corinne Bailey Rae, Starman by David Bowie, It’s all over now baby blue by Joan Baez, Romance in Durango and I Want you by Bob Dylan, Get it While you Can by Janis Joplin, Love you by Syd Barrett, Radio by Lana del Rey, All my loving by The Beatles, Führe Mich, Roter Sand and Dalai Lama by Rammstein, Ach so Gern and Platz Eins by Till Lindemann and Sola by Jorge Rigó.

13. How old are you? 31.

14. Zodiac Sign? Capricorn like Joan Baez, Janis Joplin, Elvis, Pattie Smith, Till Lindemann, David Bowie and Syd Barrett:)

15. Hair Colour? Dark Brown.

16. Favourite Quote? Many. “Kiss me, and you will see how important I am” ~Sylvia Plath

17. Favourite singer? Paul McCartney, Ringo Starr, Janis Joplin, Freddie Mercury, Lana del Rey, Corinne Bailey Rae, Leanne la Havas, Robert Plant, Jim Morrison, Syd Barrett, France Gall, Joan Baez, Till Lindemann and more.

18. Favorite color(s)? Pink, purple and black.

19. Loud music or soft music? Both actually, quiet music low and hard music louder.

20. Where do you go when you’re sad? I like to be in nature.

21. How long does it take you to shower? 30 minutes/one hour lmao, I have curly hair and it’s high maintenance.

22. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? 20 or 30 minutes.

23. Ever been in a physical fight? Nope, I'm pretty calm. Back in 2006 I had to kick a guy because he was already bullying me too much and the principal didn’t want to take action because she said he did that because he had a crush on me, so I had to put a stop myself and grabbed him by the shirt and kicked him on the head and stomach. He stopped bullying me after that.

24. Turn on(s)? Effective communicator, emotionally responsible, empathetic, being kind to others, helping others, respectful towards others, someone who doesn’t like conflict and prefers peace, that isn’t too negative, compassion, monogamous, good sense of humour, groovy sense of style, good taste in music, non-verbal communication, respecting my tastes, open minded but has their own opinions, willing to love on me, being able to let go and be free with me, piercing eyes, nice smile, pale, big shaped, being able to understand me.

25. Turn off(s)? Manipulation or gaslighting, being disrespectful, selfish, inappropriate jokes, misogynistic, speciesist, homophobic, edgy, believing that you are better than everyone, doesn’t support abortion or hates any kind of human rights movement, not being grateful or not having class, not respecting my tastes, etc, etc.

26. The reason I joined Tumblr? I wanted to get into a place where I can share my nonsense and taste, share my thoughts and my love for life. Twitter and Facebook are too toxic, so full of hate and spiteful people. The community here is pretty good💖✨.

27. Fears? Many people are afraid of the death of oneself but I am more afraid of the death of my loved ones, height and chainsaws scare me to death and I’m scared of soldiers and policemen.

28. Last thing that made you cry? A video about a 1 month old puppy being rescued from the river but he died anyway.

29. Last time you cried? Yesterday :(

30. Meaning behind your URL? 1901 Ghost is because I looove everything Victorian and Edwardian Era, I also love the Roaring Twenties the 60’s and 70’s, but Victorian-Edwardian Era is so meaningful to me, so you will see more of that in my Tumblr wall.

31. Last book you read? Anne of the Green Gables.

32. Last song you listened to? Mamunia by Paul McCartney.

33. Last show you watched? Anne with an E.

34. Last person you talked to? My mom and my sister.

35. The relationship between you and the person you last texted? They my mom and sis and relationship is bunderful!

36. Favorite food? Tofu. If you want to win my heart, gimme some good tofu:)

37.Place you want to visit? I want to go to Brazil, Holland and Switzerland :’)

38. Last place you were? At my fave coffee shop.

39. Do you have a crush? Yup, a guy manager from DD :(

40. Last time you kissed someone? Haven’t kissed anyone yet. I know it’s weird that someone in their 30’s hasn’t experienced any of that, but I want to be kissed by the person that will be my life partner. I’m too conservative regarding that.

41. Last time you were insulted and what was it? It's weird that people insult me because I don't usually do bad things and mostly when I'm surrounded by people they rarely notice me, so I really don't remember when they last insulted me.

42. What color underwear are you wearing? Calm down darling

43. What colour shirt are you wearing? Pink.

44. What colour bottoms are you wearing? Light blue short jeans.

45. Wearing any bracelets? Yep, one that my little nephew gave me that has my name on it.

46. Last sport you played? I know it’s an art form but it’s also physical form, I did ballet.

47. Last song you sang? Radio by Lana del Rey

48. Last prank call you remember doing? Idk, maybe when I was younger and called someone to tell them I was the devil lol

49. Last time you hung out with someone? Loooooooooong time ago.

50. Favourite movie(s)? Sunrise 1927, One Week 1927, Aelita 1927, Wings 1927, Picnic at the Hanging Rock, Aimeé and Jaguar, Pearl 2022, anything silent film especially if it’s from Buster Keaton 💕

[daisyvstheworld]

Day 5 - Jan 5 - Stockholm

I slept SO good this night after only getting like 4 hours of sleep the night before and then walking around for nearly 12 hours. I knocked out at 11pm and woke up in the morning when the girl above me checked out, but fell back asleep until 10:30😂 by that time, the guy had checked out too.

This was far past when I was planning to get up and go explore but after the day I had yesterday, it was fine lol. Also it was snowing even more so I was in no rush.

I left around 11am and head to Lilleg bakery again to see if they had semla. They didn’t 😩 but they had a SAFFRON bun this time which the lady said was seasonal so I got that and the cardamom bun. Ate the saffron bun and started off again.

I just had a general walking plan to see more of the city. Because of all the snow, the parks were filled with children sledding, parents dragging their kids on sled, and people ice skating in the parks. It was super cute! The foam pads + one less pair of socks was an incredible combo - my toes didn’t hurt at all!

I eventually got to the Stockholm Public Library which was super pretty - I got a couple more British crime mystery novels added to my list of books to read.

From there, I walked by Accenture lol. Snuck some photos in while employees were walking out.

From there, walked to Mr Cake and finally got some semla. Holy bejeesus it’s so freaking sweet!!! It’s like a huge dollop of cream on top of a super sweet almond paste and that’s sandwiched into a sweet bread. The bread was good (bc of the cardamom) but otherwise I wouldn’t get semla again 😂 but it’s a winter treat so maybe I’m doing it wrong. I also started Pachinko on my kindle!

I walked around the KHT university campus real quick and then through Ostermalm before heading down to the Royal Armoury.

The Royal Armoury was quite cool - ngl. And it was free bc it was Thursday! And open late. They had a weird manga exhibit, felt a little weird about that one lmao.

After that, I realized that the sun had set and I did not want to walk to Sodermalm and through the West Islands back home, so I just strolled through Gamla Stan again, caved and bought the $10 espresso cup, and ordered a shrimp sandwich at Cafe Schweitzer for freaking $18.90 💀 I sat for a good hour or so reading Pachinko which got so spicy!! The shrimp sandwich was super filling it took me a while to finish too. Also my tummy hurt from the egg salad 🥺

After that I started walking back through the parliament building/bridge. I thought I knew where to go and walked all the way back to Ostermalm lmao.. like 10/15 blocks the wrong direction. I remember looking up to see this clock I took a video of earlier and was like HOLD UP and did a quick 180.

I stopped by Pressbryrian or whatever it get gummies for Dahlia and Susy/kids, then went back to the hostel, gulped down water, showered and pre-packed.

[runfast-runfar]

Life Lately

1/29/2023

✨ life has been very up and down lately. Long story short, my current therapist who I love so much, said her supervisor will only allow her to continue working with me if I get higher care help with food stuff. So I did and have a dietician and an Ed therapist which I’ve been doing for a month now, but I literally can not afford it. I’m spending almost $600 a week (and making $800 a week) and so I can’t save any money, can’t pay off my credit card, can’t buy groceries consistently… it’s just added more stress not really resolved anything. Plus the two new therapist I am seeing I don’t really like very much, they’re not telling me ANYTHING I don’t already know… it’s that I’m not ready to fully recover. And I hate that if I’m not, the way the system is set up is to have the therapists you do have have to stop working with you to encourage “higher care” but if I can’t afford basic specialized care… how tf is higher care an option??! Ugh. It’s a mess.

I have my therapy with my long term therapist I love on Tuesday, and I’m going to talk to her about it all. I’m really REALLY hoping we can find a way for me to do my best alone and then still work together (she’s not licensed yet, she’s an associate hence having to follow her supervisors authority to a T). But I will be crushed if I can’t see her, but I genuinely can’t afford more than 1 therapist a week and i don’t want to see either other therapist over her.

✨ anyway, that’s the shitty stuff. But other things in life are pretty positive atm! Work is going well, and I am liking it as much as one can like a level entry, out of college in a field they don’t particularly want to be in, as much as could be expected lmao

But I did speak to my manager and put in some boundaries with my available work hours (I was pulling 10-12 hour days bc of my commute) and so I now leave the office at 4 instead of 5:30 three days a week cutting almost 3 hours off my work day on M, W, and F’s which has been SO needed!! Proud of myself for asserting those boundaries tbh!

✨ I went running last weekend for the first time in almost 3 months, and it actually went great! Definitely slower and that is hard to come to terms with, but I went out again this morning for another 30 minute run and I am trying to just remain grateful running is back in my life!! And I am going to try running 3 days a week for 30 minute sessions for a few weeks to see how it goes, then increase it slowly if it goes smooth!! 🤞🤞

✨ some yummy foods lately I’m obsessed with; it looks gross but is SO tasty… mashed banana with maple syrup, pb, and cinnamon on top of freshly made bread!! And then I had steel cut oats for the first time yesterday and omg game changer!!!

✨ thea is her usual, perfect, adorable, derpy self (ignore my mass pile of stuffed animals)

✨ my brother is hopefully getting a job he’s been interviewing for for a month in the next week or so, and if he does we will be looking to move out in the next month or so!! (Hence needing to be able save money/have an income…) bc I need to not live at home anymore.

✨ speaking of saving though… I did have the plan to buy myself a ps5 when I officially landed my first big girl post college job, and they just got restocked so I bought one!!! So now I reallyyyy can’t afford therapy lmao 😅 I mean I can for $110 a week with my one therapist, not $600 a week for three lol

So that comes on Wednesday so next weekend I know what I’ll be doing all day Saturday and Sunday lmao

I bought the new ratchet and clank game and then also the last of us part 1 (the show is SO good!!) and I’m so excited!!

✨ I went to the humane society last weekend and then again this weekend and it feels SO good to be going back! I hadn’t gone since September of last year due to the new job and just the anxiety and sadness around some of the animals there for so long. But I loved getting to be back! I walked this 4 month old husky named Zeus, and then Oso I TLC’d and did some mental stimulation games and he’s such a sweetie pie ugh I love them all!!!

✨ today has been a nice, somewhat lazy day! Slept in until 8am and then went on a 30 minute run, then stopped at the farmers market for a few things, came home and did a 30 minute intervals and arms peloton class with Robin Arzon :) Then I watched M3gan (lol wild!), and now I’m watching Get Out while drawing in bed with a few candles lit!

✨ not thrilled about the work week ahead, I appreciate having a job a lot but I am definitely only planning on staying at this place for a year or 2 max and then I want to segue back to social sciences bc tech is not for me long term!

✨ I want to watch one more “scary” movie (or like thriller type movie like M3gan or Get Out) tonight so any suggestions I would love! :)

✨ well, I hope you’re all doing well, and have a lovely Sunday to finish up your weekend!!

[kyber-crystal]

rendezvous at midnight || jake “hangman” seresin

summary: you’ve always been good at handling any obstacle thrown your way. but when the clock starts ticking and you find yourself next to hangman, things change. could the new year bring with it a newfound love? maybe...

words: ~1.8k

warnings: mentions of alcohol, minor rivals-to-lovers trope but that’s it. this is mostly pretty fluffy!

a/n: so i had to repost this bc it flopped so hard...idk what’s happening to my fics lmao. i deeply apologize, this was really rushed and poorly written

It was only a matter of seconds before you choked to death.

You weren’t actually dying, but that was what it felt like. After growing accustomed to being in uniform most of the time, the switch to fine silk felt strange. Goosebumps rose up on your skin as you sat down at the bar and adjusted the strap of your form-fitting dress. 

As pretty and pearlescent as it was, it did little to keep you warm amidst the crowded area. 

You had practiced walking in heels in the morning until your ankles turned bright red. If you could ensure that you wouldn’t fall in front of everyone, you’d take all necessary steps to get there.

“How’s my favorite girl doing?” Penny offered you a warm smile and a sparkling glass of liquor. “Are you holding up okay?”

“Tired,” you explained. “I didn’t sleep last night.”

“Too busy thinking about him?”

“Come on, it’s not like that,” you groaned as you finished off your drink. “You know it’s not like that.”

“I know it is like that,” she quipped. 

“We compete. We don’t fall in love,” you said. “That’s what we do. We’re not going any farther than snarky insults.”

“Go find him. There’s half an hour ‘til the clock strikes 12,” It almost sounded like she was hinting at something. “Then you start fresh. Begin again. No rivalry. And if you’re lucky, you can steal a kiss or two.”

“Penny!” 

“What? I’m only giving you suggestions. Now shoo. I’m not letting you get drunk again and force poor Bob and Mav to drag you home.”

“Fine,” you exhaled as you set your glass down and got up. “I’ll catch you later…unless you’re too busy with one certain captain…”

Penny rolled her eyes and waved you off, trying not to smile. 

You found him standing alone in the corner, nursing a glass of tequila and looking quite content. Seeing his slim, toned figure under the dim bar lights tugged at your heartstrings. The man truly was a sight for sore eyes, save the rivalry…and ego…and overcompetitive nature.

“Tired already?” you asked. Hangman looked up, and the corners of his mouth turned up a bit. “It’s a lot, isn’t it.”

“Sure is,” he chuckled. “You look…incredible, darling.”

“Thank you,” you smiled, suddenly feeling nervous in front of him. “You do, too.”

“Hard to believe it’s almost January. It feels like we got here yesterday.”

“I don’t believe in time. This isn’t real,” you shook your head and laughed. “Things go by way too fast for me to process anything. I’m in denial of the fact that none of us knew each other five years ago.”

“Coyote and Payback weren’t best friends. Let that sink in,” Hangman added on. “Neither were Bob and Phoenix.”

“There’s no way…”

“Part of me misses how we used to be, though. Before the academy.”

“Jake, we fought all the time through college,” you reminded him. “Why would you want to go back to it?”

“Well…the year’s almost over. Might as well turn over a new leaf,” he held a hand out to you. “What do you say?”

“Okay.” You smiled, and shook his hand. “I like the sound of that.”

“It’s like they’re sucked into their own bubble. Lost in their own little world,” Payback observed the two of you laughing together. “Y’know, the tiny city in the Lorax? Like that, but make it naval aviators. It’s cute.”

“It would be cuter if they would just kiss already,” Fanboy groaned. “How long has it been? Four years?”

“‘Cause Seresin’s dumb ass thinks that insulting Y/N all the time is the ultimate way to win her over. None of his thousand attempts have come across to her clear enough yet,” Coyote backed up. “But we gotta give ‘em time. That’s all we can do right now.”

“I guess so…”

“Jake. If you keep chugging your tequila like that, you’ll regret it,” you warned. “Starting the new year with a hangover isn’t the way to go.”

“You said my first name.”

“Did you even hear what I said after that?”

“You’ve never said my first name before,” Hangman observed. “But now you did. It’s nice. I like the change.”

You couldn’t bring yourself to get annoyed, not when he was looking at you the way he currently was. Eyes once filled with hardness and frustration now softened at the sight of you.

“Hold still.” Your brows furrowed in concentration as you reached up to fix his tie. “Your tie’s all crooked.”

Your fingers accidentally brushed against his skin, and electricity shot through your body. You stood there, frozen for a moment, before bringing them down—and his eyes stayed on you the whole time.

“There,” you stated, dusting your hands off. It was a miracle that you could utter even a word without your voice trembling. “Good as new.”

“Thanks.”

The awkward silence that fell over you afterward was rather heavy. You didn’t know how long it lasted for, standing there, avoiding intense eye contact while trying not to melt into the floor.

A series of loud voices snapped you out of your awkward moment. Everyone had gathered around the bar, watching the TV and counting out loud. Thirty seconds left…so you let Hangman take your hand and lead you closer to the scene. 

You didn’t say anything, even when he kept his grip on your hand and looked up at the screen. You found that you liked the company and didn’t want him to let go of you.

15, 14, 13, 12

11, 10, 9, 8

Hangman turned towards you once again. “Y/N.”

“Yeah?”

“I’m going to kiss you.”

“Okay.” The word was out of your mouth before you could stop yourself. 

7, 6

5, 4

His hand slid up to your cheek. The air in the room grew impossibly thicker, and you face felt hotter.

3, 2, 1...and like a flash of lightning, his lips are on yours and you melt into his touch. You can feel the heat radiating from his skin and you hold onto his shoulders to keep your balance. Both of you are most likely a bit tipsy but that does little to slow down the butterflies in your stomach. He’s everywhere and you’re on fire and you should stop yourselves at this point but you don’t. You can’t, because you don’t want to. How could you have imagined that his lips would feel so perfect; so delicately warm and soft against yours; that with one small gesture, he could break down the walls you tried so hard to build up around your heart. He was here, but he was everywhere, too. 

When you finally break apart, you’re dazed and confused. You’re too out of it to notice Bob and Coyote exchanging wads of cash, or that it’s already several minutes past twelve. Your head is spinning, and your knees feel weak. 

It’s a miracle that you make it home that night without passing out.

It was only a kiss, you tell yourself. That’s all it was supposed to be. But it still manages to creep its way into your dreams, into your sleep, and sinks into your skin—you can’t escape it. What had only lasted for a few minutes was taking up your entire day and sucking all the energy from your body. You wanted to crawl into a deep hole and stay there forever—at least in the darkness, nobody could visualize your embarrassment. And your reddening face. And the way you clung to him like there was no tomorrow.

“The queen has finally emerged from her beauty sleep.” Maverick looked amused as you lifted your head off your desk and blinked. “Welcome back.”

“Sorry, Mav,” you mumbled as you rubbed your eyes. 

He gave you a look that seemed to say he understood what was going on. “It’s okay. Now back to what I was saying…”

It was like you were dragging your feet through rivers of mud. You could still feel him. His lips ghosting over yours, hands leaving the imprint of his tantalizing touch on your waist. You couldn’t get the feeling out of your head…but how could you? This was Hangman, and Hangman was a difficult person to forget—he was everything and you hated to love it.

After the day’s lesson finished, you were out of there and in the dining hall as fast as possible. 

“You look like you saw your morals fly right out the window,” Fanboy noted as he set his tray down and sat next to you. 

“Because they did,” you muttered. “New year, new me? More like new year, and old habits die hard.”

“I wouldn’t call your feelings for Seresin an old habit. They’ve always been there. It came to you naturally.”

“Shut up before I throw this juicebox at you.”

“You should do something, you know. You kissed.”

“And we had both been drinking before. He only initiated it because of the liquor confidence boost.”

“So? That doesn’t change how he was looking at you before. He was standing over there waiting for you to come to him,” Fanboy argued. “Give the man a chance. You ran away too fast last night.”

“Fine. But you owe me dinner tomorrow.”

“Deal.”

Can we talk?

You typed out a quick Meet by the docks before grabbing your purse and heading out the door. He was already there when you arrived.

“Hey…” you began.

“Hey.”

You stood there in silence as he started to speak. “So, about last night. I wasn’t drunk, at least, not enough to forget what I said or did. I hope you weren’t? I wouldn’t want to take advantage of you.”

“I wasn’t.” 

“Okay, good.”

“Yeah.”

“Great.”

Right then, you became all too aware of the way he was gazing at you—alcohol or not, the look in Hangman’s eyes was the exact same as the one last night…and you felt your pulse start racing. Had he always stared at you that way but you were too oblivious to notice? 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” your voice came out so quiet that he almost missed what you said. 

“Sweetheart, I don’t know how else to look at you.”

You felt your cheeks grow hot. It was only a kiss. Nothing more. 

“You didn’t do it out of pity, right?”

“I couldn’t do that to you or myself. I didn’t do it on accident, Y/N. It wasn’t a mistake.”

“Oh.”

You took three steps toward him, enough to be mere inches away from his face. His arms wrapped around you on instinct and you let him pull you close. Then when he tilted his head down to kiss you again, you let him, and the butterflies remained. 

He was here, and he was everywhere, too.

tags, including those who may be interested: @queenbbarnes​ @walkonthewiidside​ @sarcastic-sourwolf​ @totomoshi​ @sebastianstangirl01​ @altheadarling​ @hay-9105​ @purelyfiction​ @93joons​ @yeehawnana​ @lunamoonbby​ @hazelgirl355​ @multifandom-fangirl4​ @paintballkid711​ @lyn-lc​ @azari-anna​ @thelifeofthelifeofme​ @spawn0fsatan​ @milestomaverick​ @newlibrary​ @ellabellabus07​ @criminalyetminimal​ @whatlovegattado​ @lets-be-gay-for-the-angel​ @hufflepuffprincesse​ @ice-mans-world​ @burnedbrisket​ @fangirlinc​ @marveljunkie45​ @knowledgefulbutterfly​ @levis-butterfingers​ @organabanks​ @coastingline​ @skylynch03​ @chaoticassidy​ @hbstre​ @mercury-mae​ @light-the-moon​ @winteryoungie​ @aie1840​ @thisismypointofview​ @minivture​ @teacactusworld​ @icemansgirl1999​​ @cherry-waved​ @vane28282​ @worldsoldestpizzaslice

[morallygay]

🟩⬜️⬛️ Animes for aro/ace people - Part 1 ⬛️⬜️🟪

part 2 here

Including:

-shows in which (a) character(s) has/have shown lack of interest or disinterest in romance and/or sex🔻

-shows that as a whole have little to no romance and/or sex in them or are not romance focused🔹

I encourage anyone to reply/reblog with ideas/suggestions of animes that could qualify (especially aroallo people since you are the least represented and, basically being the opposite myself, I will not necessarily notice it). This is an ever expanding list (in theory. when i remember to come back to it) :)

This is a completely personal list based on what animes made me consciously think “aspec vibes”; it’s not guaranteed that you vibe with my taste, but surely a few people will, and this is for them. Since I’ve seen a lot of animes while aroace, I’m one of the few people who could make this post, so here, finally I made it.

To me canon and the intentions of the author are very important and obviously change completely the context of the ‘representation’. The worst feeling is expecting representation and being disappointed and invalidated, so I will make clear what kind and level of representation it is and if intended (to my understanding/intuition) or not. Let’s start by saying that, in case you were born yesterday, we don’t exist according to media and anime is no exception so expect most of those to not canonically be aromantic or asexual, and that even if the author intended in some cases to make them in practice aro/ace, it is most likely in a way that is oblivious to the actual existence of these orientations (the words are never used for sure), ex. it’s supposed to be a quirk / personality trait and not an actual sexuality. Also I have a taste for seinen so there will be an overrepresentation of that. With that said, let’s go.

"Saiki Kusuo No Psi Nan" / "The Disastrous Life Of Saiki K" (like 50 episodes but you will not see the time pass)🔻

Definitely the n.1 aroace anime. It’s a comedy. The protagonist is an absolute aroace icon. He explicitly expressed multiple times that he doesn't get and is disinterested in romance/sex and those facts are pillars of the show and the comedy. He loves sweets. You can also see him as demi. However the (aro/ace) label is obviously never used since the author is probably unaware of this sexuality's existence. It's the kind of representation that is not intended as representation. He is ‘nonhuman’ aroace rep; the fact that he is a psychic and basically a god is intended as the reason for his lack of interest/attraction.

warning: in season 3 he loses his powers and it is implied that because of that he is now a Normal boy and therefore allo. and he shows attraction for the first and only time in the commercial breaks animations lmao. traumatizing 😔. that didn’t happen in the manga anyway so just bear with it and ignore it.

Otherwise there is a lot of romance in this show and instances of sexual attraction, and it has a lot of other problems. It probably doesn’t pass the bechdel test for like the first and a half season. But it really is funny— hilarious even. It’s also very problematic. Still definitely recommend and it is very empowering to watch as an aroace, but keeping all that in mind.

“Barakamon” (12 episodes)🔻

The protagonist is canonically asexual in the manga apparently. I haven’t read it but in the anime at least he did in fact show disinterest and confusion over sexual attraction. No info romantic orientation-wise. It isn’t perfect (there was a whole thing about a character that is a homophobic fujoshi and other instances of unfunny humor like that) but it’s an cute slice of life I suppose.

“Dr Stone” (35 episodes + 3rd season coming soon)🔻

The protagonist never showed romantic or sexual attraction and explicitly showed disinterest to both at times. He literally got married for practical reasons and divorced hours later. Aroace king. Here too his lack of interest may be intended as a joke to show that he is Logical and too busy with Science to have time for bullshit like “love”, but it’s not like he can’t be both so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. There is some annoying fanservice and the female characters have terrifying eyes as you can see above but I digress, overall it’s really good + there’s other types of queer rep in the manga apparently but I haven’t read it yet.

“Ore Monogatari” / “My Love Story” (24 episodes)🔻

A very sweet and good romance anime. In this one the side character (on the right) is heavily implied to be on both the aromantic and asexual spectrums, and there was a whole mini-arc about him and that near the end of the anime. Very wholesome.

“Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun” / “Monthly Girls’ Nozaki-kun” (12 episodes + 1 OVA)🔻

A hilarious romantic comedy that I highly recommend in general. The protagonist’s crush is super aroace in the anime and it’s very funny and validating/empowering. It’s supposed to be read as him being oblivious for the sake of comedy, and he still is her love interest so in the manga — which goes much further — he slowly starts to develop feelings too. I see him as demiromantic. There are 2 other characters that have shown confusion / lack of interest about sexual attraction (one only appears in the manga) that I see as alloace. Also everyone (yes the aroace guy included) is bi. Not canonically of course but yeah. Watch it (unless you’re the type that doesn’t do ships, then you can pass on this one).

“Shingeki No Kyojin” / “Attack On Titan” (87 episodes + the last season coming soon)🔹

Classic masterpiece in the making but I’m not here to talk about that. Romance exists in the show in the way that it exists in real life so it would be unrealistic to not have it. The show itself is not focused on romance at all, and there is no unnecessary forced romance either. The female characters are not sexualized at all and there are virtually no comment/scene that show sexual attraction, to the point where I wonder if isayama (the author) is not asexual as well. This is a show where it’s hard to find any characters who you can prove are allo; this is how irrelevant both romance and sexual attraction are.

“Beelzebub” (60 episodes)🔻

This one is a mostly episodic comedy. The protagonist has big aroace vibes. He is supposed to be read as oblivious (which he also definitely is, but I see him as both) and too dumb to be horny or something. There is a lot of fanservice (respectful one though (well, as respectful as fanservice can be??)) and his best friend’s entire personality is being a pervert and that’s really annoying. Plus one of the main recurring characters is a ‘predatory gay’ walking joke. Despite my very low tolerance for stuff like that I still personally somehow love this anime and find it very funny in the end. I haven’t read the manga.

“Yagate Kimi Ni Naru” / “Bloom Into You” (13 episodes)🔻

A wlw romance in which the protagonist is aspec, and this is obviously relevant and touched upon. Definitely arospec and most likely acespec too (can’t remember exactly). There is also an aromantic side character that enjoys consuming romance but has zero interest in personally participating in it.

“Banana Fish” (24 episodes)🔹(🔻)

The 2 main characters are mlm love interests, and their relationship isn’t sexual at all. The show itself does deal with the theme of sexual abuse, and it’s a recurring relevant topic so trigger warning for that (but not in a romanticized/fetishized way at all). Their relationship being romantic is technically not canon either but it’s subtext (the kind that if it was straight no one would question it). They’re called “best friends 😊” to the end lol so. yeah. It can be frustrating from a gay rep standpoint but at the same time also right up your alley if you want queerplatonic greyromantic (asexual) stuff.

This one is a bit of a tangent but mlm rep in anime that isn’t sexual is so rare so I wanted to include it since I’m an mlm aspec and this is just like me fr. Also it’s a must watch in general.

“Paripi Koumei” / “Ya Boy Kongming” (12 episodes)🔹

This anime is wild (complimentary). The main theme is music, but this description can’t do it justice. Anyway the show is completely devoid of romance (at least as of now with 1 season. I haven’t read the manga) but full of sweet friendships and heartwarming interactions. The kind of thing to show to someone who says that romance is a necessary part of humanity and that life is less meaningful without it. I totally headcanon the protag (blonde girl) as aro.

“Acca 13” (12 episodes)🔹

A seriously underrated show. This one is on this list because it was very satisfying to watch as an aroace person. There is no focus on romance. There are characters who are attracted to other characters but it’s not relevant or used for frustrating unnecessary drama or anything, it’s actually in a very refreshingly chill, matter-of-fact way, and it never goes farther than that. It’s so unique in this way I can’t really explain it well, but it’s pretty cool.

[hornystiel]

hey this is totally random and we don’t know each other but I found your blog through the #terminated blog tag. Tumblr terminated my main blog of 12 years (along with its side blogs) yesterday! Literally out of nowhere. I was creating and posting gifs a few hours before it happened even. Can you please let me know how you managed to get your blog back? I’m really freaking out cuz I have SO MUCH original content on one of my sideblogs 💔 I’ve sent in the message to tumblr support - no response

hi! i had the same problem this summer and the support wasn't responding for some time but they did eventually. I wrote to them three times because my blog was actually deleted two times in the span of several days idek why so it was good I wrote a few times because by the time they got to my second email my blog was deleted again lmao. in the end they said it was some kind of glitch and restored all functionality. before termination my message icon was missing and my responses/tags etc weren't visible for anybody. people say there's no shadowbanning here but then idk what to call it.

tldr it takes the support a few days to get back to you plus sometimes the mail gets eaten so you can try writing to them again after a few days but I don't think spamming them will work so take your time. I know perfectly well how upsetting the whole thing is because my blog is 12 years old too.

wishing you all the luck in getting everything back!

[zelkam]

I was tagged by @haleths - thank you!! 💕💖💗

name: aneta

star sign: aquarius

height: 5'5"/165 cm

time: 12:55pm

birthday: 26th january

favourite bands/artists: stray kids, blackpink, loona, fall out boy, billy talent, grandson

last movie: chef (2014) and it was okay but also nothing special

last show: Extraordinary Attorney Woo and for whatever reason Netflix doesn't let me to watch some of the newest episodes that were already released

when did i create this blog: 2011 I think, but also I had to remake it in 2014 bc I accidentally deleted the whole account instead of just a vintage aes sideblog 🙃

what i post: whatever I like but also I'd say cql/mdzs + a bit of other media that I like and the rest is just memes and gay stuff

last thing i googled: 'charlotte warsaw' because I stopped by there for breakfast with my friend and I wanted to show someone else a pic of the interior

other blogs: an art blog @zelkams-art and a studyblr @anetastudies

do i get asks: not as often as I used to a few years back but yeh sometimes someone stops by

following: 1140 but a lot of them are artists that obv don't post daily

average hours of sleep: 6-8 hours usually, since I try to sleep a normal amount now bc my days are exhausting and you just need to have energy

instruments: none hah

what i’m wearing: black sweatpants, tank top, hoodie

dream job: I always said 'scientist' here but now that I actually have this as my job I don't know if I will be able to keep it up forever lmao

dream trip: touring some cool cities with my friends and just having fun

nationality: polish

favourite songs: back door by stray kids, gashina by sunmi, just one yesterday by fall out boy, star (english ver) by loona, what you're made of by arrested youth, everything black by unlike pluto

last book i’ve read: still reading gone girl even tho it's been so long already

top 3 fictional universes i’d like to live in: uhhh middle earth but in one if the elven cities, then mdzs/cql but probably gusu/cloud recesses bc it's super pretty and the climate seems perfect, then for the last one I really have no idea

Tagging @evakant @jingyismom @fangrui @yilinglaozu - ofc only if you want to!