#And Each Portrait Got Crazier | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

helnjk · 4 years ago

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Crazier - F.W.

Fred Weasley x fem!reader

This was written for @vivianweasley ‘s 400 writing challenge! I used the song Crazier (by Taylor Swift) from the Hannah Montana movie hihi. Congrats on the milestone lovely ❤️ I hope you enjoy 🧚🏼‍♀️

Word count: 2.6k

Warnings: just fluff! and wedding vibes 💗

A/N: ok but this song is ADORABLE ! it makes me so giddy when I listen to it (& i did, A LOT, especially in the process of writing this)

Flashbacks are italicized

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Feels like I'm falling and I'm lost in your eyes

There was something special about a war time wedding.

The atmosphere surrounding the Burrow seemed to glow in the morning light. The gentle breeze rustled the surrounding fields and the sun was just peaking across the horizon. Champagne colored rays burst from between the clouds littered in the sky, providing warmth for anyone who found themselves outside. Despite the early hour, the residents (and guests) of the Weasley household were already up, busying themselves with tasks that Molly had assigned them.

You found yourself still wrapped in your fluffy dressing gown, nursing a warm cup of tea in your hands as you directed Fred and George. You three were in charge of making sure the flowers, arches, and chairs were all ready for the upcoming ceremony. A smile couldn’t help but inch its way onto your face as you watched Fred jokingly shove George and cause him to lose his footing for a moment.

The soft laugh that escaped your lips caught his attention and your eyes locked. Brown eyes glimmered with mischief and adoration met yours and you couldn’t help the fluttering of butterflies in your stomach.

“Oi! Be nice to your brother, Fred!” You called out as George once again lost his balance, “We don’t want him losing any other body part!”

“Don’t be silly, Y/N.” He retorted, pretending to look like he wasn’t about to send a jelly-legs jinx his brother’s way, “He’s a big boy, he can handle it!”

You made your way towards the boys who couldn’t stop roughhousing with each other now, “Well regardless, we’ve got to get the flowers and arches up and perfect before your mother comes and has a right fit!”

Slightly amused at how much you reminded them of their mother in that moment, the twins stopped horsing around and actually got their wands out to be as efficient as possible. You were able to get back to peacefully sipping on your tea and telling them where they should put certain flowers and which arch belonged where.

The sun was fully risen when the three of you finished, standing side by side admiring your handiwork.

“Great job team!” George announces, patting both you and Fred on the shoulder before turning on his heel, “I’m gonna go check and see if mom’s made some food! I’m starving!”

Before you could follow him, Fred’s arm wrapped around your waist and pulled you from behind. Your back connected with his chest in a huff, and he placed his head on your shoulder, “Yes, Freddie?” You giggled.

“Nothing love,” He kissed the side of your neck, “Just love you, is all.”

Your heart fluttered at the simple words and you practically melted in his arms, “Where’d that come from?”

“The whole atmosphere of today, of the wedding, I dunno” He hummed, “It just made me think of seeing you walk down the aisle in a white dress in the future.”

Turning around in his grasp and wrapping your arms around his neck, your eyes met and it was the most genuine and sincere you had ever seen Fred look. It made your heart stutter and butterflies fill your stomach.

“You’re such a sap, Fred Weasley,” There was no malice in your voice, just adoration for the wonderful man in front of you.

“Only for you darling.”

Bill and Fleur’s wedding was nothing short of magical.

The moment the blushing bride walked down the aisle, the crowd seemed to freeze in awe of her beauty. But nothing could compare to how she glowed the moment she reached the arms of her loving husband.

As the newlyweds shared a loving kiss, your eyes locked with Fred’s and you were struck with the image of him in his best dress robes, pulling you in for a sweet kiss just like the one happening in front of you. When the redhead sent you a cheeky wink from across the room, you had no doubt in your mind that you wanted to marry him one day.

You couldn’t help but reminisce on the years past and how your relationship with the cheeky mischief maker developed.

I watched from a distance as you made life your own

Laughs rang through the crowded hallway as the Weasley twins rushed to get away from Filch. You rolled your eyes at their antics, but a small smirk graced your lips. Being yearmates and housemates with the rambunctious pair for four years now had allowed you to grow used to their mischievous pranks and their witty ideas.

“Oi, watch it Weasley!” You teased, turning to face the boys who nearly knocked you over in their rush to get away from the cranky caretaker.

“Sorry, Y/L/N!” One of them yelled over his shoulder, before the pair of them rounded the corner and disappeared from view.

Despite being in the same year and house as the twins, that was usually the most interaction you would have with them. Nothing against them, but you had your own group of friends and they had theirs. As much as you admired their mischief and wit, that wasn’t really your thing. You preferred to keep to yourself or your little group of friends, not fading into the shadows but not exactly stepping into the spotlight either.

When you were accidentally on the receiving end of their pranks meant for Snape, though, the twins forced themselves into your life.

You were sat on one of the beds in the hospital wing, waiting while Madam Pomfrey puttered around looking for some bruise cream and muttering under her breath about how dangerous the twins could be. You hid your smile behind your hand, it honestly wasn’t all that bad, you just had a bruise on your cheek and one on your shoulder. They were both sore and aching, but you knew it could be fixed in no time.

Before the mediwitch could apply any salve to your exposed shoulder, the twins burst into the hospital wing.

“Y/N!” One of them, you thought maybe George, yelled.

“Oh Merlin, we’re so sorry!” The other twin said as they reached you.

Madam Pomfrey began to protest the twins’ presence, but you were quick to reply, “It’s fine you guys. Madam Pomfrey’s just about to fix me up and I’ll be good as new!”

The rest of the week, the twins didn’t leave you alone. Constantly opening doors and pulling out chairs for you, the pair of them weaseled their way into your daily routine. You could feel them wriggling their way into your heart too, and you knew that there was no going back now.

Every sky was your own kind of blue

And I wanted to know how that would feel

“Y/N?” You turned around to the source of the voice only to be face to face with none other than Fred Weasley.

“Fred,” You breathed, hitching the books in your arms a little higher and tighter, “What’s up? Do you need something?”

The castle was decorated beautifully for the Christmas hols, and more importantly to impress the Beauxbatons and Durmstrang guests you were hosting that year, but you were in a bit of a rush and you couldn’t really stop and chat. The professors had made sure to assign as much schoolwork as possible before the break began, which meant you were scrambling to finish everything on time.

You noticed Fred rock back on his heels and shove his hands in the pockets of his robes, “Are you alright?” You asked.

“Huh? Oh yeah, I’m brilliant really,” He muttered, his eyes shifting around and his ears tinging pink ever so slightly.

“O-kay,” You said, “Sorry, Fred but I’m rushing to get some coursework finished. I’ll talk to you later, yeah?”

“Yeah, of course.” He mumbled as you turned on your heel and rushed away. His shoulders slumped slightly, “Bloody idiot, couldn’t get a word out of your mouth…”

Unknown to you, Fred walked all the way back to the common room muttering under his breath. The Yule Ball was coming up and the only person he wanted to take was you, he just needed to buck up enough courage to actually ask you. Every time he tried, though, he clammed up and nothing could come out of his mouth.

When you climbed through the portrait hole a while later, he was still sat on one of the couches, staring at the fireplace and brainstorming ideas of how he could gather up some of his Gryffindor courage and ask you a simple question. He actually made it a point to write down a few of them on some parchment, but most of them were crossed out.

Sonorus charm during breakfast

Sending her a letter (? possible)

Ask Hermione to ask her for me

He hadn’t noticed that you came in, so when you plopped down on the couch beside him, he almost jumped out of his seat. He looked right suspicious to you, trying to shove the piece of parchment he was holding back into the pocket of his robes. Knowing the kind of mischief he could cause you, you did what any other sane person would do.

“Accio parchment.” You said, pointing your wand at his robes. The paper flew out and into your open palm.

“No, Y/N-” He protested, but you stood up quickly and got out of his grabbing reach.

“What’s this Fred? Haven’t gotten any good ideas to ask someone to the Yule Ball?” You teased after skimming over his messy notes.

At that moment he thanked Merlin and Morgana that he hadn’t actually written down your name. Still, his ears and neck were pink and he could feel his face grow hot as you read over the dumb ideas he wrote down.

“That’s none of your business, don’t you think?” He mumbled, taking the parchment out of your hands and sticking it back safely in his pocket.

“Oh alright,” You smiled, “Just teasing!”

He nodded quickly then proceeded to make his way to the staircase, wanting to just curl up in bed and scream into his pillow. Something stopped him, though. He paused right at the doorway and turned to face you slowly.

“Y/N?” He said.

“Yeah, Fred?” You asked, busy trying to smooth down the disheveled uniform and hair that came from running away from him so quickly a few minutes before. You weren’t paying as much attention to the redhead as you should’ve, adjusting the strap of your bag on your shoulder.

“Do you want to go to the Yule Ball with me?”

His question rang through the empty common room and made you pause what you were doing.

“Sorry, what?” You asked, turning to look at him.

“Erm, I asked if you wanted to go to the Yule Ball with me,” He mumbled, rocking back on his heels.

A slow smile spread across your face, “Of course! I’d love to.”

“Great!” He nearly yelled, “Great, yeah. I can’t wait!”

You stood at the top of the staircase, your gown swishing gently as you made your way to where the rest of the students were waiting. Fred’s hair could easily be spotted above the crowd, so you weaved your way through to him.

When his eyes found yours the world seemed to stop. Blood rushed to his ears and his breath came out in short puffs. His vision seemed to tunnel and the only thing he could see was you. You looked absolutely stunning.

“Wow,” He breathed once you reached him, “I think I’ve just died and gone to heaven. You look phenomenal, Y/N.”

Your heart stuttered at the compliment, “Thanks, Fred. You look great too.”

Fred was nothing short of the perfect date. He held your waist as the two of you entered the Great Hall, held your seat out for you as you reached your table, and took your hand to lead you to the dance floor when it was time for the waltz. The both of you weren’t great dancers, but you stumbled and giggled through the whole thing with smiles on your faces.

When the two of you grew tired of dancing, he gently whispered in your ear, “D’you wanna get out of here?”

“Sure,” You smiled.

In a moment of bravery, you took his hand in yours as the two of you walked leisurely through the snow filled grounds. Heart still beating in your chest, you stole a glance in his direction. To your surprise, he wore a goofy smile on his face and his ears were slightly tinged pink. Instead of letting go, he squeezed your hand and led you to an empty bench.

You sat in peaceful silence for a few minutes, taking in the gorgeous decorations made for the ball, but after a while you asked “Knut for your thoughts?”

Fred turned to face you slightly and let out a small puff of breath, “I’ve actually wanted to talk to you about something.”

Your brows furrowed in concern, “What’s up?”

“I fancy the hell out of you, Y/N.” He breathed nervously, tucking a piece of hair behind his ear and staring at the ground.

“Oh Fred, I really fancy you too.” You grinned giddily, a small laugh leaving your lips.

His eyes widened at your statement and his grin seemed to match yours, “What’s so funny then?”

“Nothing,” You shrugged, snaking your arms around his neck, “I’ve just fancied you for so long, I just didn’t think you’d actually feel the same for me.”

Instead of replying, Fred swooped down and pressed a searing kiss on your lips. You gasped slightly, not expecting his lips to be on yours, but soon you melted into his touch. His arms wrapped around your waist before the two of you broke apart.

“That answer your question?” He breathed, going back in to peck your lips again and again until you were giggling and playfully slapping him on the chest.

“You’re really something else, Weasley.”

You lift my feet off the ground

You spin me around

You make me crazier crazier

“D’you wanna get out of here?” A familiar voice asked in your ear as strong arms wrapped around your waist.

“Now where have I heard that before?” You teased, placing a soft peck on Fred’s lips.

The wedding reception was in full swing now, a crowd of redheads filling the tent. You were standing to the side, taking in just how much happiness this event sparked in your life and in so many others’. It was as if the world stopped to celebrate the love that Bill and Fleur clearly felt for each other.

Without answering you, Fred merely took your hand in his and led you out into the dusk. The breeze cooling down your slightly warm skin.

“Care for a dance?” He grinned at you, holding out his hand when you two had reached a relatively empty area in the surrounding field.

“I thought you’d never ask,” You joked, taking his hand and putting your other one on his shoulder.

Gently, the two of you swayed together as the sun finally set beyond the horizon and as the first few stars appeared above you. No music was playing, nor was it needed, as you were wrapped around the love of your life.

He sighed contentedly, “When all this is over and we’ve won the war, I’m going to marry you.”

“Good,” You said confidently, “Because I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Fred Weasley.”

#vivianweasley400wc #Fred Weasley #Fred Weasley imagine #Fred Weasley imagines #Fred Weasley fic #Fred Weasley fics #Fred Weasley x reader #Fred Weasley x y/n

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someonefantastic · 4 years ago

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I'm Gonna Give You All My Heart Can Give

Welcome one and all to the first day of psychmas! Find the prompts here. I had fun writing this one, I always love doing narratives and especially ones on Juliet. Hope y'all enjoy! Summary: Juliet O'Hara has spent four Christmases with Shawn and Gus since moving to San Fransisco. Each one is memorable for different reasons. Prompt: Gifts also on ao3 ___

The first Christmas since moving to San Francisco is quiet and calm. It’s just her, Shawn, and Gus. All three of them had traveled to Santa Barbara a few days before to have a Christmas party with the Lassiter’s and Henry and as much fun as that was, she’s thankful to be spending Christmas alone with her fiancé and his best friend.

She’s the last one to get her gift. Gus had gone first, receiving noise-canceling headphones from her and pretending not to see Shawn’s smug face or hear his comments about needing them later. Shawn had given him a detailed map of all the best food places in San Francisco along with the promise that he’d drop anything and go with him whenever he asked.

Shawn had absolutely loved the shiny wrapping paper that she used, spending more time playing with that than actually opening up the present but she didn’t mind. The look on his face as he unwrapped a black hoodie with the words “psychphrancisco” written in red was more than enough to make up for it. And he nearly cried at Gus’ gift, a signed certificate from both Chief Vick and Chief Lassiter thanking them for their consulting services over the past eight years.

Finally, it’s her turn. Gus hands her a small red wrapped box and she bursts into a huge grin upon opening it. It’s a small framed photo of the three of them, plus Carlton, taken during one of their first post case celebratory hangouts. Their faces are younger, less worn by time and stress but the signs of friendship and that underlying bond is very prevalent.

And then Shawn silently slides her another box. The wrapping screams “Gus”. It’s blue with white snowflakes, a gold ribbon down the middle, tied into a bow. The edges are neat and straight and she can barely see the small bits of tape holding the package together. But the gift inside is clearly from Shawn.

It’s two pictures, side by side on one sheet of paper, she and Shawn drawn out in beautiful detail and adorned with watercolor. In one they’re standing in front of their old house in Santa Barbara and the other in front of their loft’s entrance in San Francisco. Her hair is longer in the second picture, a sign of time past but their smiles are all the same, just happy to be together. Below in beautiful letters, swooping and scrawling- a skill that she knows he picked up from his dad- is written: “Home is Wherever You Are”.

Her breath catches in her throat, tears pricking in the corner of her eyes and they threaten to spill over when she notices the glinting ring on her left hand in the second picture. It’s a little artist’s touch- after all the real ring had been stolen- but it makes her heart swell with emotion.

Shawn places his hand on her knee, squeezing slightly and she beams at him. He gives her a lopsided grin and she notes just how cute he is. She’s so glad to be engaged to him.

The second Christmas in San Francisco is a little larger and a little crazier. The Lassiters, Vicks, and Henry all cram into their loft, Christmas music playing and conversation ringing throughout. She loves having a big Christmas, after all, it’s what she grew up with, but a small part of her mourns the loss of it being just the three of them. She also wishes she was actually married this Christmas but that’s something she’ll never tell anyone.

The gift exchange is hectic, with multiple people scrambling and opening their boxes. There’s a lot that she can’t quite recall but she will never forget the look on Iris’ face as she unwraps Juliet’s gift. A soccer ball. It’s white with pink and black stripes and nearly takes out a lamp or two but Iris makes her pinky swear that she’ll take her to go play a match sometime.

This time, Shawn’s gift to her is wrinkled, the wrapping paper sticking out on the edges and massive pieces of tape holding the whole thing together. He clearly wrapped it and the image of him wrestling with paper and tape is enough to make her smile. It’s a small heater for her office as she’d been complaining about the cold atmosphere for weeks now. She’s touched that he would think of something to make her life a little better but that’s just who Shawn is, always listening and meeting her needs. (She’s a little disappointed, however, that it’s not an engagement ring.)

Juliet would never consider herself a resentful person but by the time the third Christmas rolls around, she’s a bit peeved. Her and Shawn are no closer to being married. In fact, he seems to actually be going backwards in their relationship. She’s caught him a few times slipping and calling her his “girlfriend” instead of “fiancée” and she’s spent way too much time wondering if he’ll ever actually be ready to be married. She loves him regardless and thinks that if he ever decides that he doesn’t want to get married, she’ll stay but it’s exhausting having no clue what he’s thinking.

They go to Santa Barbara for this Christmas, spending it in the Lassiter’s house along with Henry and Gus. (The Vick’s decided to spend Christmas in Detroit with Karen’s family.) Shawn makes a joke about sneaking off into his old bedroom and she has to gently remind him that that’s now Lily’s room and there will be no sneaking off tonight.

He pouts for a minute and then Carlton announces that they’re opening up gifts and his attention is elsewhere. She loves it when his eyes light up like that.

He bagged his gift this year. It’s a plain red bag with way too much tissue paper but he’s smiling so big that she’s very distracted from the packaging anyways.

Inside is a hair dryer. The exact make and model as the one on her Christmas list. It’s sweet and practical and exactly what she wanted. And yet… there’s a small part of her that is a little sad. She’d grown so accustomed to his thoughtful gifts that were slightly out of the box in his own quirky way. But she later reprimands herself for thinking that way. At least she got a gift from him. At least he was so kind as to get her something she wanted. At least she has him. It’s not too bad, and sure it’s no engagement ring or mindful gift but having him should be enough. So why does she feel like she’s nearing her breaking point?

Their fourth Christmas together is much, much different. It’s just the three of them again but this time… this time there’s a silver band on her left hand, the diamond glinting every time it catches a stream of light.

She had worried for weeks leading up to December that this Christmas was going to be just like the last ones, another year of engagement with no ring, no sign of commitment from Shawn. But he had surprised her, like he always did, with the best gift of all. They had done it, actually gotten married, standing on that pier. She was bruised and battered, they hadn’t slept in hours and their officiant was a criminal. It was unconventional all right but she wouldn’t change it for the world.

This Christmas she was spending it with her husband. The word still made her giddy and she didn’t know if she’d ever grow tired of referring to Shawn as that. She certainly hoped she wouldn’t.

They’re huddled around the Christmas tree, all three of them decked out in matching red flannel pajamas- Shawn’s idea. Gus comments for the third time that day (and probably the twentieth time since they got married) that he’s going to move out soon, give the newlyweds some space but she just shakes her head, placing a hand on his knee and telling him that he can stay as long as he needs. He is family after all.

Shawn nearly chucks his gift at Gus who in turn shoots him a dirty look. The expression quickly falls, however, when he unwraps it. It’s a beautiful portrait of the three of them sitting on the couch and laughing at a movie. Shawn grins, nudging Gus’ arm, and tells him how even when he moves out, he’ll always be family and more than welcome. She wholeheartedly agrees.

He grabs her gift next, it’s small and flat but a grin bursts across his face as he opens it. A Wonder Woman comic sits in his hands- the first comic they ever bought together- its cover signed by Gal Godot herself. She doesn’t tell him that she waited three hours in line to get that signed or went to 18 different comic book shops to find that specific issue. Inside is a note card from Juliet telling him how much she appreciates his friendship and Shawn has to gingerly take the comic book away from him before he bursts into tears.

And when he hugs them both, she doesn’t mind his sobbing or the slight awkwardness of the embrace. Instead, she thinks that part of her is going to miss living with her husband’s best friend- no- her brother-in-law.

Gus’s gift to her is equally as sweet. It’s a coin, carved with the words Detective Juliet O’Hara-Spencer, and she wonders when he had time to add that last bit or if he had known all along. Regardless, she’s just thankful to share something so special with him.

Shawn slides her his gift after she finishes thanking Gus, a small dopey smile on his face. The wrapping is neater this year but it still points out at the occasional odd angle and too much tape was involved. She gasps as she unwraps it, revealing a green snuggie- the perfect excuse for warm cuddles. It’s soft against her skin and she immediately slips her arms into it, allowing the fabric to encase her small frame. It’s a bit large and he waggles his eyebrows as he tells her it’s made for two. Even if it wasn’t, they’d surely find a way to share it.

Hours later, when they’re all piled onto the couch watching Gremlins, the snuggie wrapped around her and Shawn, she thinks this is the best Christmas in San Francisco yet.

#psychmas2020 #psych #psych fanfic #juliet o'hara #burton guster #shawn spencer #shules #and they were roommates #fanfic #christmas

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wonwuism · 5 years ago

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Chapter 3.

Tuesday | NYC Institute of the Arts | Rooftop Café17 | 01:47 pm

“I’m not saying tie dye is ugly, I’m just saying there’s a reason it’s never been used in fashion before. Like, ever.”

“Sounds like you just think it’s ugly.”

Wonwoo wasn’t really paying attention to his friends. Whenever Vernon and Minghao started yet another discussion about fashion he usually zoned out into his own thoughts until they decided to let him decide who was right, as if he understood what they were even talking about. There was a good reason that he designed games and they designed clothing.

“Wonwoo what do you think about multi colored clothes?” Wonwoo looked over at his friends and thought for a second.

“Depends. If you’re talking about color blocking, I love it. If you’re asking me if I think Vernons shirt is ugly. I do. I hate it.” Minghao threw his head back in laughter and clapped his hands so loud, people around them started looking where the sound was coming from.

“You’re both assholes, you know that right?” Vernon took an angry bite from his chicken sandwich. Wonwoo chewed on his cheek instead. He wasn’t hungry today. It had been three days since he scribbled his e-mail address on a post it note for Mingyu to take. He wasn’t even sure why he was thinking about it so much, but just the thought of Mingyu never actually sending the pictures kept running through his mind. After thinking about it for another five minutes he couldn’t take it any longer.

“Hey guys?” The two mouths that had been excitedly talking about their weekend and the weird night out they’d had both shut and his friends shifted their focus on Wonwoo now.

“How long do you think it takes for a photographer to, you know, edit pictures?” Minghao raised his eyebrows in suspicion, since this was so obviously not a Wonwoo kind of question. Vernon, however, never really questioned anything and reacted right away.

“Well, it depends on how many shots they took and how much editing those shots need in terms of photoshop and stuff.”

“They’re just portrait shots of one guy that someone took at the shop. I was wondering when he’s going to e-mail them to me.” Vernon opened his mouth to answer, but Minghao beat him to it. As usual he could see right through Wonwoo as well as Jun did. It was something about his Chinese friends that made it impossible to hide things from them.

“Are you waiting for the pictures or for him to contact you?” It was Vernons turn to raise his eyebrows now and before Wonwoo could even think of an answer, Minghao spoke again.

“You’re usually never impatient, much less when it’s about something you don’t really care about, like, I don’t know, pictures from the flower shop. Spill it Wonwoo, who is this guy.”

Wonwoo let out a breath. They got him. He shouldn’t have asked them about it and just waited it out. Now he was going to tell them all about his dumb crush and they were going to ask him about it all the time. He could feel the panic under his skin, knocking at his bones again, but he calmed himself down. He wasn’t going to let it get to him over something as silly as this. Vernon and Minghao were his friends and even though they didn’t know about his anxiety disorder, they wouldn’t make fun of him for anything. They never judged anyone and they wouldn’t start now.

“Okay, so-“ Two bodies turned his way dramatically. “All I know really, is that his name is Mingyu and that he’s a photographer. He said that the shots were for his portfolio as well as the model’s, so I doubt he’s a professional. Oh and he’s straight.”

“He’s straight?”

“Yeah I know, but I was already kind of crushing on him when he told me that he thinks he doesn’t like guys, so it was a little too late for me to do anything about it.”

Both boys nodded and Wonwoo saw them think about answers to questions he didn’t ask. They were looking for solutions for problems that didn’t exist yet, and even though he loved his friends for it, he didn’t need to hear their two cents on the situation, so he cut them off.

“Don’t worry though, he’ll send the pictures soon and that’ll be the end of it.”

Before another word was said, Wonwoo could see Juliette walk their way. She always walked so lightly, like nothing was weighing her down. Her brown ponytail swung across her back and she seemed to glow in the light that beamed down on the rooftop café. She was the prettiest girl Wonwoo knew. He waved at her to divert attention from his miserable story and all was forgotten when Vernon saw his girlfriend come over.

“Hey guys!” She pecked Vernon’s cheek and took a seat next to him. Vernon looked at her with stars in his eyes for a second and Wonwoo felt a little jealous as usual. Who could blame him though. The two had been in love since they talked for the first time and had been together for 5 years now, still as in love as they’d been that first day. They were the couple that handled their problems before talking to anyone else about them and the kind of couple that got along with each other’s friends well, but still gave each other enough space to live their own lives. They were the kind of couple to sit next to each other after being together for 5 years and still secretly hold hands under the table just because they liked it. It was cute.

“Hey, what’s up? Don’t you have class now?” Vernon asked. She shook her head and made a pouty face. “It got cancelled because miss Claudette fell ill. She’s my favorite teacher though, so I hope she gets better soon. And I really like her class, so I’m a little sad now.” She shrugged her shoulders and took a sip of her coffee. “Hey Jules?” It was Minghao. She raised her eyebrows at him and hummed a response.

“Do you know anyone in photography by the name Mingyu?” Wonwoo almost choked on his spit and avoided Vernon’s surprised look to shoot daggers from his eyes at Minghao. Juliette was sweet and he trusted her for sure, but Minghao knew that Wonwoo didn’t like talking about his personal stuff to people.

“Mingyu? Uhhhh Mingyu, Mingyu, Mingyu… No, I don’t think I know him. There’s a Min-gi, though. Maybe that’s the one you’re looking for?” Minghao turned to look at Wonwoo who shook his head no. “No, it’s definitely Min-gyu. Kim Mingyu, I think.”

“No, I don’t think we have anyone in the photography department with that name, sorry.” She didn’t ask any more information and Wonwoo was glad. She was like Vernon in a way that they were willing to help you as much as you needed them to, but they didn’t push you to tell them more.

“It’s okay,” he said. “It’s not really important anyway. I have to go, though. See you guys around.” He took his own empty cup and other trash off the table to throw it away and the others waved at him before he walked off. He didn’t really have to go. He was just leaving because they were talking about him too much for his liking. Wonwoo knew that they were just going to continue without him now, but as long as he wasn’t there to hear it, he didn’t really mind.

Wonwoo debated on whether to go home or to the flower shop to work on his project, but a text from Jihoon already decided for him.

Jihoon: I’m in WOOZI mode

He chuckled. Whenever he got that text he knew what time it was. Jihoon was in a huge producing flow and was making magic in their room. WOOZI was the name he produced under and this simple text let Wonwoo know not to come home for a while to not disturb the process. Some people would’ve thought it’s annoying not to be able to go home, but Wonwoo didn’t mind. It had been a while since Jihoon had sent him anything like this or let him hear a new song, so Wonwoo put his phone into his pocket and was on his way to the shop.

Tuesday | Pledis Flowers | 06:03 pm

Wonwoo was debating on what he would have for dinner. He’d been working on his game for a while without making a lot of progress for a few hours. He could get some Mexican takeout and treat Jihoon for doing well today. He was just about to text if his roommate had dinner plans yet, when his e-mail app showed a notification. Heart beating, fingers shaking, breath quickening. Wonwoo opened the e-mail and there it was. Mingyu’s name.

Hey Wonwoo!

I attached a folder with the shots I ended up choosing for my portfolio :)

I hope you like them enough to put them on the website!

I also added some tulips that I took a picture of the other day because I know you like flowers. Or I think you do, since you work in the flower shop haha

Anyway let me know what you think,

Mingyu

Wonwoo didn’t miss the way Mingyu added 10 numbers under his name. He gave Wonwoo his phone number. Wonwoo scolded himself for thinking too much about it. It just meant he preferred to discuss the pictures over the phone. That’s it.

With one click on the attached folder, Wonwoo held his breath. Jeonghan looked more like an angel than ever in these pictures. The lighting from outside hit his features perfectly and Wonwoo took a moment to appreciate the color correcting Mingyu had done to the pictures. They looked amazing and professional.

The last picture just showed an unedited shot of some pink and yellow tulips that made Wonwoo smile. He felt proud for somehow being a small part of this and he called Joshua over to show him the pictures. Seungcheol was with a customer and Wonwoo knew he didn’t really care much for the pictures anyway.

Josh stood behind him as Wonwoo opened the first one and with every new picture he could just feelJoshua go crazier. None of them said anything until the last picture was on the screen. “That’s all of them,” Wonwoo said. He looked over to his colleague to see what he could only describe as a man in love. Joshua was still staring at the screen with eyes glazed over, like his mind wasn’t really in the room anymore. “I’m in love with him. Good god, I’m so in love Wonwoo. I need to see him again.”

Wonwoo gave him a soft smile. He’d never seen Joshua like this. Usually it was all overly confident remarks and flirting, but the way he was looking at the pictures right now told Wonwoo that this time things might be different. He clicked the picture off the screen and it now showed the e-mail Mingyu sent him. He was about to close that tab, too, when Joshua stopped him.

“Wait, he gave you his phone number?” Big eyes stared at Wonwoo and he felt slightly uncomfortable at the fact that Joshua knew about it now. It had felt kind of secret before, and Wonwoo realized he actually liked it like that.

“Um, yeah, I think he wants me to let him know if I like the pictures that way.” Joshua all of a sudden seemed to be completely back into reality and he was almost shaking with excitement. “Wonwoo, this is perfect! You can help me get to Jeonghan through Mingyu! You have to call him right now! Please?”

Wonwoo thought about it. He didn’t want to ask Mingyu to help out arrange things for Joshua. Especially since he’d already mentioned he doesn’t like to get into other people’s personal business. What if he felt used or even got mad at Wonwoo for suggesting it?

“Not right now, but I’ll see what I can do, okay? But if I get too nervous about it please don’t be mad. I’m not even sure if I even have the guts to call him at all.”

Joshua nodded. He understood. “Yeah, that’s okay, just think about it, okay? You wanna grab dinner together? I’m craving pancakes.” Wonwoo shook his head no and told Josh he was probably going to treat Jihoon to Mexican food, since he worked hard today.

They talked a little about the pictures with Seungcheol while they worked on cleaning and organizing the shop and Wonwoo walked out with them to close for the day before waving them off and walking the other way to take a subway to his dorm. He decided that he’d just order takeout and pick it up before heading into the dorms without even asking Jihoon. He knew the boy probably hadn’t been outside anyway, so Wonwoo thought he could take the risk.

Tuesday | Wonwoo’s dorm room | 09:16 pm

Leftover takeout was on the floor and soft hip hop was playing in the background. Jihoon had told Wonwoo all about his new tracks and said that taking a walk the other day had really helped him out, so he decided to go for a walk every night from now on.

Wonwoo had his eyes closed and he listened to the sounds coming from Jihoons speakers. He didn’t hear the lyrics though. All Wonwoo could think about right now were ten little numbers. They spun around his head in a loop, demanding his attention. They made him nervous to no extent, but he knew they wouldn’t stop their torture until he pressed them into the screen on his phone and clicked the call button.

And he wanted to, he realized. He wanted to call Mingyu and talk about the pictures, just to hear his voice. Maybe they could talk about other things, like why Mingyu wasn’t majoring in photography and what he did do. Wonwoo didn’t know if he’d have the balls to ask about it, though. But he was going to call him right now. He had to.

Quickly, so he didn’t have any room to change his mind, Wonwoo pressed the numbers into his screen. He only saw them twice in the e-mail, but it had been enough to know them by heart already. Wonwoo blamed it on being a visual learner. With a shaky thumb he put the phone to his ear to hear it ring.

Pick up. Don’t pick up. Don’t. Don’t. Pick up. Pick up. Pick up. No, don’t-

“Hello?” Shit.

“Hi, um… Is this- is this Mingyu?”

“Yeah this is he. Wait, Wonwoo is that you?” As every time, Mingyu switching to Korean made Wonwoo feel comfortable and a little light inside.

“Yeah, it’s me, hi.” He should’ve thought about what to say. This was awkward. Mingyu was going to think he’s weird. Great job Wonwoo.

“Oh hi! I’m so glad you called!” Mingyu sounded like the overexcited puppy that Wonwoo remembered, and it made him think that maybe this wasn’t all that awkward as long as Mingyu kept talking to him like this.

“Did you see the pictures I sent you? Wait, of course you did. You wouldn’t have called if you didn’t.” Wonwoo’s heart fluttered, because Mingyu was also nervous. “Yeah, I did. They were wonderful. So pretty.”

“Wonderful. I don’t think anyone’s said that about my pictures before. It sounds nice. Thank you.” It took a few seconds of silence to realize Mingyu couldn’t see him smile and Wonwoo felt a little stupid, but then Mingyu talked again and Wonwoo wondered if he didn’t hate the fact that Wonwoo was so quiet.

“So, I was thinking. I’ve been working on my portfolio for a while, but- I’m really bad at the whole design part of it. I can’t seem to make it look nice, no matter what I do. Would you, only if you want to, please help me out with it? Just give me some advice about coloring maybe, or placement? I’m really at the end of my wits here. I’ve spent hours on it already, but it still…” he laughed. “Yeah it looks like shit.”

Wonwoo laughed too. He liked that Mingyu was asking him for help. Not just because it’s him, but because it was a good thing that Mingyu wasn’t afraid to own up to his mistakes and it’s something that Wonwoo found to be a sign of good character. His mom had taught him that back when he was small. She also said Wonwoo was a little too good at it, since he saw mistakes that he didn’t even make. She was always right.

“Do you want to send it to me so I can make notes on it?”

“Actually, I think it’s best if we meet up. Is that okay with you?”

Wonwoo’s heart quickened and he tried not to breathe too fast so Mingyu would hear it. It was fine, this was fine. It was completely okay.

“You can pick the place if it makes you feel more comfortable.”

There it was again. Mingyu sensing Wonwoo’s anxiety, even through the distance of a phone call. Mingyu taking steps back to make him feel more at ease. Whether that be physical steps like the first time they met, or just a step back in his excitement over the phone, because he could tell it overwhelmed Wonwoo.

“Yeah, we can meet. I’ll think about the place. Is it okay if I text you about when and where?” All of a sudden being on the phone with Mingyu felt too close for Wonwoo and he wanted to get away from it.

“Oh, okay, yeah that should be fine. I’m available any night this week except for Friday.”

“Okay, I’ll see when I’m free. Goodnight Mingyu.”

“Wonwoo?”

“Yeah?”

“Were the flowers wonderful as well?”

Wonwoo closed his eyes so hard he saw white and all of a sudden he wanted to scream, or cry, or hit something. Mingyu was so incredibly nice to him and Wonwoo didn’t want him to. It was too much.

“They were,” he managed to squeak out.

“Good. Goodnight Wonwoo.”

Wonwoo hung up the phone and immediately a wave of panic hit him. Terrible thoughts washed over him. Thoughts that told him lies and that made him feel horrible about himself. Wonwoo curled himself up into a ball on his bed and tried to calm his breathing. The music in the background was so loud. Way too loud. But Wonwoo was frozen, so he couldn’t move to turn it down.

For twenty minutes Wonwoo panicked. His breathing went wild and his heart exploded with every beat. His hands shook and his head hurt so bad he wanted to split it in half to let out the monster hiding in his skull. After those twenty minutes his body gave up on him for the night, too exhausted to do anything else. Wonwoo fell into a restless sleep filled with scenarios in which he ruined everything.

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aures-rose · 4 years ago

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Disclaimer: Very much and very little have happened since my last update. I broke my ankle last month and that’s kept me from really roleplaying and writing like I might normally in frequency, quality, and duration. Despite this, I have a lot to write since a lot of this happened before my incident. Anyways! To the entry!

Dear Diary,

So much has happened since my last entry! Where do I even start? I had my first practical potions lesson this year! Deputy Headmistress is teaching it, and she had a cauldron of a love potion called Amortentia. It smelled like firewood and the ocean and flowers, wisteria I think. Maybe lavender. Someone, I think it was Eve, said it smells like whatever you find the most attractive. So I guess I like campfires by the sea. Which makes sense actually, we always had that campfire under the pergola where Mother’s wisteria grew. Anyways, Eve and I brewed the Antidote to Common Poisons which seems like a useful thing to be able to brew. I didn’t even know I could brew, but I didn’t mess up!

After class, Eve and I went down to the campsite near Dumbledore’s grave and we hung out for a while. She told me how she and Marigold had talked about doing a group Halloween costume for the bash this year as plants that can be found in the forest. Eve really likes herbology you see and she got a book from her mum about different plants, I think she said they may have been Victorian plants, I can’t remember. She was talking about going as some kind of mushroom and I had the idea of being a rose, with a paper mache rose head on or something.

Later on I ran into Margo again. She was heading back to the common room and since I knew a shortcut through Lady Prudence, I showed it to Margo. I told her it really pays off to talk to the portraits in school and she said she’d have to talk to more of them. She invited me into the first year dorm where she was supposed to meet Venus- another first year. Venus was going to tell Margo a secret. Margo took me to their dorm and introduced me to Venus who seems really nice and likes plants. Her mum plays music too, piano I think she said. I promised to show her where the music room is sometime, a lot of first years seem to not know about it, I guess because we have no music professor this year. Venus and Margo both showed me their beds, Margo likes plants and Venus also likes stars! Then Venus told us she’d overheard a friend talking to a boy and she’d learned of a secret room through one of the portraits. She was supposed to show us the next day but I ended up being really busy. I’ll have to ask Margo to show me sometime. Also, I think I really like the name Venus. I know it’s a planet and a Roman Goddess, but I like it because how romantic it sounds.

Anyways, I had Herbology with Eve next. I really do hate Herbology. I mean, I like looking at flowers and plants but I just don’t get it. But in class we were collecting mushrooms from the edge of the forest. Venus asked me to partner with her but I’d already partnered with Eve so I had to tell her no. Eve and I talked about herbology for a while and mostly she picked all the mushrooms with these really nice scissors she had. After class, we sat in the courtyard and talked. We decided instead of going by the dock, we were going to sneak brooms and fly to a secret place on the castle which will become our secret place. We’ll bring supplies like blankets and stuff and we’ll hide out there for our sleepover.

We also talked about Ghoul Studies because it was going to be our next class. We talked about Professor Esper and how romantically he talks and also how he wears… a flower on his suit which Eve says represents mourning, or it did in Victorian times. I wonder if Professor Esper is mourning a long dead sweetheart from his days as a student. Wouldn’t that be romantic? In class the Head Boy, Elliott sat near us and we both told him we’d bet money on him with Nora for the TriWizard Cup. Professor Esper also had asked Eve to cast a spell and levitate all the homework to his desk but she couldn’t do it. She asked me for help and I was actually able to do it!

Then came DADA. Not the good DADA though. No. DADA with stupid Professor Vikander. Can you believe he took TWENTY POINTS from Gryffindor just because some boy’s spell backfired? That made me so mad! My blood actually started to boil, I swear! Actually, my hands did get really hot and so did my face and the edges of my eyes got real blurry like… I couldn’t help it and I ended up yelling at Professor Vikander. I… said some not nice things about how he didn’t care about his students and I wished I was a Hufflepuff because Professor Priaulx is better and actually cares. I can’t believe he let me get away with everything I said, really. Tom and Eve were trying really hard to calm me down and I think that’s the only reason I really left the class. It’s so embarrassing getting angry like that. I need to remember to take my calming drought always. Anyways, we were making our way down the tower and there was a crowd at the bottom. And in that crowd was the boy who’d lost us all those points. I couldn’t help myself! I tried to petrify him… from there it all went crazy. Everything happened so fast but Eve tackled me and my spell hit Talula I think. Elliott came down and pulled Eve off me and she explained she wasn’t attacking me, she was trying to stop me and then everything got even crazier!! I don’t remember everything that happened because Eve surprised me so bad and I started to feel really embarrassed and ended up crying. Eventually Professor Vikander came down and everything was still crazy but Talula gave me a calming drought bc the one in my backpack got shattered. Then Professor Vikander sent Eve and I to the Hospital Wing. I apologised to her there and she told me I had nothing to be sorry for and…. That Lex… Lex Ashworth had said something very cruel. He’d been talking to Aloy but he called her a fire flinging freak and… I mean… sure, he was mad at Aloy but… if that’s what Lex thinks of her… what about Talula? Or me? My family? I come from a line of fire flinging freaks even if I’ve never managed it myself…

After that, I kind of laid low for a while, avoiding everyone. Especially since… after that, my eye got even worse. I don’t know why but instead of two pupils, now there’s three. Am I doomed to just keep getting more and more? Will my other eye become freaky next? I don’t know what to do about it but I can’t keep ignoring it so I’ve been trying to do research on curses and what kind might have caused this. I plan on speaking to Professor Macauley about it as soon as possible and if he doesn’t have answers I’ll go to Professor Blightly and then O'Keeffe if she doesn’t. I have to figure this out and how to go back to normal or at least how to stop it.

Then it was announced there was going to be a fashion show. I don’t know anything about fashion and I don’t really care but Gwyn, my mentor, was running the meeting so I decided to go to support her. Somehow I ended up being chosen to represent our house in the casual category. I ended up wearing my red jumper dress with a white t-shirt, a red flower crown of flowers I don’t know what they’re called but they remind me of the Christmas flowers, red flags, my red backpack, and of course, my violin case. I also put stars on my face, because I like decorating myself. The fashion show was really scary honestly but Talula put some lipgloss on me and everyone was really supportive. It was scary walking on stage on front of everyone and I was afraid I’d like or fall off stage but I did it! And I never want to do it again! I’d watch it again though!

Talula also ran a club called Spark Club this month. Spark Club is where you can meet new friends or dates. I only wanted friends so I put that when I signed up. Somehow Talula pairs you with three people, I don’t know how, and you spend a few minutes talking and getting to know each other with the talk starter Tal gives you. My first pair was Bailey but I think he was late getting there so Margo and her match, Dana, who is a first year in our house talked to me for a little bit. Margo said I could be a model because of how tall I am but I definitely don’t want that. Eventually Bailey showed up and we talked about getting into trouble a little bit. My next pair was named Gage but he never showed up so I sat around and watched everyone else for a bit. Lastly, I was paired with Eve! Talula said we were too cute not to pair up and I told Eve it was destiny! She was talking to an older student named Romi Clementine. Romi is a fourth year I think and she’s really pretty, like a doll. She was even dressed like a doll in this frilly red dress. She said she liked charms and Homemaking Magic and that the Spark Club was a little too noisy for her which I totally get.

Oh, Eve also gave me a book at Spark Club. It’s called Coraline and she said she wanted us to choose characters from the book for our Halloween costumes instead. I’m going to start reading it tonight, just as soon as I finish writing in you. She said it was one of her favourite books and I think it’s nice to see what your friends like if you want to get close to them. She also said she’d like it if we all started a book club. So I’m going to read some of this and then maybe we can sit around and have a talk about it!

Oh! The Triwizard Tournament is closing in, I don’t remember if I told you but Hogwarts is hosting it this year. Saturday the other schools arrived. It was amazing. The Beauxbatons students are so elegant and graceful! They arrived in a blue flying carriage pulled by winged horses that were all golden! When their Headmistress stepped out she looked like an ice princess with all these feathers on her dress. Then the students came out with all this beautiful water magic and there were golden sparks and it was all amazing. The Durmstrang students were intimidating! It’s crazy to me to think that if Grandmother Banon had remained in Bulgaria, I could have been a Durmstrang student too. I couldn’t imagine that! They’re so serious and like… They arrived in a ship that came out of the lake, bursting through the ice alongside all these patronuses! The students came marching off the ship with these torches held over their heads and then the flames leapt from their torches and made this arc and the Deputy Headmistress came marching off. I don’t think anyone’s seen the Headmaster yet, apparently he wasn’t feeling well.

There was also a HUGE feast where Headmistress O’Keeffe explained all the rules of the tournament, apparently you can only participate if you’re 17. Then she revealed the Goblet of Fire! It’s got these blue flames and it was super cool to watch. There’s also these blue flames around the Goblet which apparently keeps anyone under 17 from trying to put their name in. I wonder who will be chosen from each school… I can’t imagine being chosen for Hogwarts… I hope though… I hope one day I can be in the Triwizard Tournament. Could you imagine? Aures Truegarden, Triwizard Tournament Champion. I’ve heard some students talk about trying to sneak their names into the Goblet but I’m not ready and I know that. I’m still just a kid. But one day!

That’s almost everything, I think. The only thing left is to tell you I’ve found a new project! I’m going to try to learn a musical piece called The Devil’s Trill. It’s by Tartini. I was reading a music book and I found a story about it and really wanted to learn it after that. This composer, Giuseppe Tartini was having a hard time making money as a violinist. He decided he wanted to die- that’s sad isn’t it?- but before he did, he wanted the chance to dream for one last night. That night he dreamed of the devil! Or is it, a devil? Anyways, he told his friend,some French astronomer that he dreamed the devil came and asked him to be his teacher. At the end of their lesson, Tartini gave the devil his violin and asked him to play, to see how good the Devil was. The devil played so amazingly that it took Tartini’s breath away. How I wish I could play that well. Anyways, Tartini woke up with a jolly and jumped out of bed, immediately writing down the sonata and trying to catch what he’d heard in his dream. The Sonata became super successful! Everyone said that you could hear bells and chimes during the performance and that it felt like the room was getting smaller and smaller but Tartini said it was nowhere near as perfect as what he heard in his dream. I want to learn to play The Devil’s Trill and make people feel something. Anyways, I should start this book but… goodnight diary! Thanks for always listening!</p>

#roleplay #harry potter roleplay #second life roleplay #veela #Gryffindor #mischief managed #second life

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saltyslack-toast · 4 years ago

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#Knock The Book 2: The Devil All the Time

WELL, I MADE IT TO THE 2nd BOOK REVIEW OF MINE, MEANS THAT I’M A PASSIONATE AND PERSISTENT BITCH, PERIODT. No actually I’m just bored and got really nothing to do, so here I am making judgmental, invalid and uncritical book review just to ease my guilt for doing nothing at home (just so my mom see me working through my laptop).

Okay The Devil All the Time is actually my first English book. The story of how I got this book as a matter of fact is quite irritating and funny at the same time. My uni friend, she saw this book in a modest book bazaar near her hometown. She was reading the title and the word ‘devil’ just remind her of me, she bought it and just gave it straight to me…... I’m sad but like thankful???

It’s a secondhand and hardcover book but I don’t really mind, considering the fact that the quality is still very nice though, except the worn spots stained all over the cover that make the book looks very old. My friend bought this only for RP 25.000, yes dude you’re not misread this shit, it was THAT CHEAP (whoever sell and own this book before me, I really appreciate it). Although if you want to buy the new one, you can get this book for USD 26.95 which converted in rupiah would be RP 407.500, yeah its cost pretty fancy for broke students like us and I don’t know if the book’s supposed to be available in your local bookstore but I think you can find it in worldwide shipping online store like amazon or any other shop perhaps. The book’s cover illustrate a dying white mutt hanging on the ‘log’ and bunch of cross everywhere, the cover is actually make sense when you read the book. It published in 2011 by doubleday in United States of America. The Author is Donald Ray Pollock, and you can find the sum information about his background written on the cover, but based form the book’s cover you can also check his website in donaldraypollock.com but when I checked, I’m not sure if it’s really his website since it just like pest control website (LMAOO I HAD NO IDEA FR). Anyway,

Let’s go breaking down the book!

“… Too much religion could be as bad as too little, maybe even worse, but moderation was just not in her husband’s nature”

The whole story in this book, basically give you portraits regarding the life of lunatics in the time after WWII. Nope, there is no sums up about the events happened in that moment so chill y’all non-historical enthusiast bitches. This book gonna give you a bizarre experience reading it, the first 10 pages of this book was already psychedelic, I assure that shit. Have you watched Games of Thrones series on HBO? It’s chilling right how Ned Stark, the protagonist of the main series died in the first season???? EXACTLY that was the vibes u got after reading the first chapter and get crazier every time u read forward. By the way, this book embodied 7 chapters and 55 sub-chapters, the chapter in odd and even numbers has 2 different main focuses on each characteristic exist, here I sum it up for you:

On the odd numbers chapters (1, 3, and so on), the central story of these chapters is circling among the family of Willard Russel, his Mom Emma and Uncle Earskell and also those 2 insane peeps Roy Laferty and Theodore. Willard Russel used to be a navy army and a bit skeptical dealing with religion issues just like his uncle, but his mom has always been a devoted worshiper. Willard married to the beautiful and kind-hearted women named Charlotte and they was given a son named Arvin Eugene Russel, everything was normal until Charlotte got sick and Willard gone crazy praying to god for his wife’s recovery and poor little Arvin has to suffer the predicament by his own self. Their stories always give me religious-fanaticism-gloomy vibes (is that even make sense??). Don’t even get me started with the life stories of the two brutes-ass man, Roy Laferty and Theodore they were used to be ‘preacher’ in Emma and young Willard’s Church. Nothing I could say further because it’s gonna be a major spoiler for you, but their stories really giving you insights of how frustration and fanaticism allow people to do something beyond their common sense.

“You remember what I told you the other day?” He asked Arvin

“About the boys on the bus?,”

“Well, that’s what I meant, you just got to pick the right time”

On the even numbers chapters (2, 4, and so on), the main tales is pertaining on the journey of Handerson couple, Carl and Sandy. They were like the Bonnie and Clyde but sad and exploitative version in this book. Carl is a ‘photographer’ and sandy working as a waitress in a café called Wooden Spoon (Which the place where Charlotte used to work as a waitress and the place she met Willard for the first time as well). During summertime they got this ‘ritual’ ((but not in a religious way)) where they drive to different states and give a ride to the hitchhikers found on the way, then Carl forcefully offer them to fuck Sandy for free (HIS OWN WIFE) while he took pictures of them fucking and after that Carl kill them and take all the money those hitchhikers got in their pocket (dude I can’t even judge anything). But to be honest, I’m not a fan of these two characters because they were all so ANNOYING to death. And then there is Bodecker Lee who’s a police and also Sandy’s brother, ok that’s it, I’m not gonna give you any spoilers.

“… He went down the street and sat on a bench in a park the rest of the day thinking about killing himself instead. Something broke in him that day. For the first time he could see that his whole life added up to absolutely nothing…”

You might be confused since there are quite a lot of keen characters in this book but there’s a point where all these bitches are relating to each other, so chill y’all impatient gripe-ass. Overall, the flow of the story is undoubtedly interesting for you to keep going throughout the whole story, because every phase gonna make you wondering about next things happened to them. But, the transitions among every chapters is quite uncomfortable for me, because sometimes when the story has reached its climax there is no resolutions coming to solve the problem immediately, and you’re faced to read the new chapter with a whole different setting and characters so it’s kind of ruining the vibes and emotions the book has made me, but again this just my personal preference so please don’t judge (while everything I did right now is judging inaccurately).

“He realized that he would never preach again, but that was all right. He’d never been much good at it anyway. Most people just wanted to hear the cripple play”

However, what I like the most from this book is the deepening of every character exists is so fascinating, even for just the side or supporting character (for god sake I’m sorry idk what to called a character that isn’t the main one), for example a bus driver in Meade, Ohio which Willard talked to when he was on the way home after the war ended, the narration wrapped and portraits the driver’s life perfectly without make us bored, and there’s still a bunch of interesting narration about the life of the side characters in this book that also as odds and intriguing as the main character’s background (jesus, everything happened and everyone in this book is just so strange and peculiar I swear to god). The story finished in a most tragic-beautiful but still gloomy way, even though it’s quite predictable but still a very good closing for me personally. To be noted, on the way to the end of the story, there will be emerge another asshole priest character named Preston Teagardin, ready to shake you up until you finish the book. But still, let’s said this particular ‘last minute character’ has proving that the author is paying so much attention of how the story ended isn’t leaving any 'rush-made' impression (this shit might confused you I’m sorry my English hasn’t got any better *sorry hand sign* *sorry hand sign* *sorry hand sign*). # hashtag attention to the detail bro.

Holy crap, that’s the first time I’m almost able to cut all the bullshit I intend to bring it up here.

This book is one of my top 5 books that you have to read once in a life time (although I haven’t discover the other four, omg im sorry y’all). Little information for you that the first time I read this book (yeah I read it for quite few times) is when the campaign of presidential election era, which in Indonesia the religious are pretty sentimental issues, some of the people in my country suddenly became those annoying fanatical preachers, man I can’t stand it. And this book is just precisely relating to that condition and I get to know at least a glance of what the heck odds things happened in their minds, since you know fanaticism and stupidity doesn’t hit only on particular group of religions, race, gender or anything, we can all be stupid and brainless (especially me because I basically have no brain). There probably quite many scenes that is pretty disturbing to read (I don’t know if people could be triggered by it???? But I guess so) so yeah a bit warning. Overall, I genuinely recommend this book for you guys because every element in this book is almost perfect, the storylines, bold characters, and the RARE AND STRANGE AND SENSITIVE topic promote by the author in this novel is totally a BOOM. Don’t worry reading this book not going to give you those agnostic and atheist vibes HAHA chill I still consider myself a devoted Muslim tho (hashtag masyaallah ukthi).

By the way before I wrapped it up, I hear that this book will be made into a netflix film. WELL, of course I’m excited because the casts are so amazing, and I love Netflix adaptation and I enjoy watch movies as much as I read books (again, unnecessary information of mine *sorry hand sign*). I found that the release date is postponed from the origin plan in 15th May (which is three days ago from I posted this on my page) due to I don’t know perhaps corona because that bitch has ruined everyone in the world’s schedule, but for real I can’t find the exact information regarding to the updated release date, so while you wait the film to launch, why don’t you just go read the book first? I assure you this one not gonna give you any disappointment.

I think that would be it for this 2nd rubbish book review of mine. Although, I think I made a little progressive from the first one (OR MAYBE NOT???? I’M SORRY Y’ALL) but of course there’s still much deficiency I served. Still, I hope my writing get better in the process of making this whole novel of reviewing book inaccurately. To be honest, I wrote this shit not for getting any engagements or audience but for my own satisfied HAHA. So yeah I’m literally comfortable writing for nothing. But bitch guess what I’m just gonna keep going, until I could professionally writing and make it for a living? Well, amen for that.

Xiao, See you in Advance!

#book #book quotes #bookaholic #booknerd #book review #the devil all the time #donald ray pollock #religion #review #novel #thriller #psychological #tom holland #robert pattinson #bill skasgård #sebastian stan

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multifandomfic20 · 5 years ago

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Everything we’ve been through Part 1

A/N: this is my first part in my multiple part series following the Marauders journey each chapter is a school year. also I wrote Peter in but if you notice he doesn’t say a lot in my fic it’s because I had a really hard time writing him this is a eventual wolfstar fic but it’s a slow burn. Let me know your know your guys thoughts and if you have any questions about the fic feel free to dm or send a ask

Summary: Remus’ first year at Hogwarts was crazier than he expected

The day Remus got is Hogwarts letter was the happiest day of his life, the day started of normal he was eating breakfast with his mom and dad and they were having normal conversations his mom was talking to his dad about the latest ministry law that had gone into effect “Lyall I just don’t think it’s reasonable to not have a due process for people who are being arrested what if they are being falsely accused?” “Hope you are not being reasonable these are serious criminals why should they get any rights” and before Hope could respond there was a knock on their door.

“Remus honey will you go get the door?” Hope asked gently. Remus got up and went to answer the door when he opened the door there was a middle aged woman in green robes “hello Remus I’m here to talk to you and your parents may I come in?” Remus not knowing what to do stepped aside and let her in

“Remus honey who is it?” Hope asked as she came into the living room where Remus and the strange lady were “Professor Mcgonagall what are you doing here?” “I’m here to discuss Remus’ education at Hogwarts along to deliver Remus’ letter. Here is your letter Remus”

Remus grabbed the letter excitedly and opened it while Remus was opening the letter Hope and Lyall were looking at Mcgonagall like she was crazy “but he’s a werewolf” Lyall blurted out and before Hope could smack him Remus dropped the letter and went and hid

“Remus headmaster Dumbldore and I are both aware of your condition as will your teachers at Hogwarts should you choose to accept may I also mention that there will be a special place for you to have your transformations in a safe space” Remus came back out from hiding and looked at his parents “so there will be a space for him to have safe transformations and also he won’t be singled out and no one other than the staff will know” Hope asked “that is correct the letter has all the supplies he will need for Hogwarts this upcoming year, now if you’ll excuse me I must return to Hogwarts I look forward to seeing you there Remus” Mcgonagall smiled at Remus then apparated out of the house.

Later that night Remus was rereading the letter when he heard his parents arguing. “Hope there is know way we can send him to Hogwarts what if the wrong person finds out he’s a werewolf and they come after not only him but us?” “Lyall he deserves to have a normal childhood and it’s not his fault he is who he is and Mcgonagall said he would be protected and I trust Dumbledore” “fine” “good can we go to bed now” yes my love” then Remus stopped hearing them so he turned off his flashlight and went to sleep himself.

Now it’s September 1st and Remus is at the train station saying goodbye to his parents “Remus be careful and make some friends Hogwarts will be the best time of your life I love you so much” Hope says then she pulls Remus into a hug “I love you too mom” then Lyall pats him on the back “have fun son”

Remus hears the engine on the train and runs up and boards the train and as soon as he gets on he bumps into somebody “I’m so sorry” and before Remus can continue the boy who has extremely crazy hair laughs “It’s cool, I’m James Potter by the way. Would you like to sit together?” “yeah that would be great I’m Remus Lupin by the way” “nice to meet you oh look there is a compartment with only two other boys in it” they walk in “I’m James this is Remus can we sit with you guys?” “sure I’m Sirius this is Peter”

Remus noticed that Sirius was unbelievably attractive “Sirius as in Sirius Black?” James asked “yep that’s me you are very clearly James Potter, don’t be spooked by the name I hate my family as much as your family hates my family” Remus noticed that Sirius and James were both very confident where Peter and himself were more shy.

“So what house do guys want to be into?” Peter asked “Gryffindor obviously” James said instantly “any house other than slytherin but preferably Gryffindor” Sirius said after James “I’m thinking I would be best in probably best in hufflepuff” Remus said all of them turned to him and Sirius asked “why hufflepuff you seem like either a Ravenclaw or a Gryffidor to me” Remus didn’t say anything only pulled out a huge book “I’m going to read for a little bit but be as loud as you want I don’t mind” the other three talked the rest of the way to Hogwarts while Remus was stressing over how this was gonna work.

Eventually they made it to Hogwarts and everyone was getting off the train. Once all the first years were gathered and by the entrance hall Mcgonagall came in, “Welcome to Hogwarts, The start-of-term banquet will begin shortly, but before you take your seats in the Great Hall, you will be sorted into your houses. The Sorting is a very important ceremony because, while you are here, your house will be something like your family within Hogwarts. You will have classes with the rest of your house, sleep in your house dormitory and spend free time in your house common room. The four houses are called Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and Slytherin. Each house has its own noble history and each has produced outstanding witches and wizards. While you are at Hogwarts, your triumphs will earn your house points, while any rule-breaking will lose house points. At the end of the year, the house with the most points is awarded the House Cup, a great honour. I hope each of you will be a credit to whichever house becomes yours. The Sorting Ceremony will take place in a few minutes in front of the rest of the school. I suggest you all smarted yourselves up as much as you can while you are waiting. When I call your name, you will put on the hat and sit on the stool to be sorted”

Remus didn’t really pay attention until he heard James name being called “Potter, James” almost as soon as the hat was placed on his head the sorting hat shouted “Gryffindor” then he hears “Evans, Lily” she was a beautiful redhead and when he looked over to the Gryffindor table James was staring.

The sorting hat was on her head for a little while then it yelled “Gryffindor” “Pettigrew, Peter” the hat was on for a couple minutes then yelled “Gryffindor” “Black, Sirius” the hat was on for a short time then yelled “Gryffindor”

Almost everyone in the great hall was surprised once Mcgonagall got her composer which didn’t take long she continued “Snape, Severus” the hat had barely been placed on his head when it shouted “Slytherin” “Lupin, Remus” Remus sat down on the stool “ah your a tricky one and a werewolf I see” Remus was stressing when the hat continued “oh don’t worry secret is safe with me now what house should I put you in clearly not Slytherin ah what about Ravenclaw no that won’t work” “please pick Hufflepuff” “nah, you're not the Hufflepuff type I have my decision” “no please no” Remus thought then the sorting had yelled “Gryffindor”

Dinner passed in a blur Remus ended up sitting with James, Peter and Sirius. After dinner was finished Mcgonagall came up and all the Gryffindors shrank down not knowing why she was there “Remus will you please follow me to my office I need to have a word with you” Remus nodded and stood up to follow her.

Once they left Sirius looks over to James and Peter “I wonder what that was about” Sirius said “I don’t know but it looks like the perfects are gathering everyone and we should go before poor Peter passes out from tiredness”

Meanwhile in Mcgonagall’s office Remus walked in and saw headmaster Dumbledore and someone else were there “sit down Remus” Dumbledore told him Remus sat down then he continued “Remus this is Madam Pomfrey she will be the one to help you after your transfermations, now let’s go over how this will work”

After the conversation Mcgonagall escorted Remus back to the Gryffindor common room “Remus you need to be careful you have a very big secret that is important who knows, so just be careful” when she finished her sentence the reached the common room “I will be careful professor” Remus said at that she smiled “your password is kidney beans” at that the portrait opened.

Remus walked inside and as soon as he did someone walked into him “oh my gosh I’m so sorry I was reading my book and not paying attention and now I’m rambling, I’m Lily” Remus smiled “I’m Remus what book are you reading?” “Hamlet It’s by William Shakespere” “oh I’ve read that one it’s very interesting” Lily smiled and then was called over by one of the other girls.

Remus Saw James and Sirius sitting on the couch “Oi Remus where have you been?” Sirius asked, Remus didn’t know how to answer Sirius’s question then he figured it out “My mom gets sick a lot so Professor Mcgonagall took me to her office to discuss when I would go visit my mother” James and Sirius both looked at him sympathetically.

Remus felt uncomfortable and wanted to change the subject “so Sirius tell us about your family” now Sirius looked uncomfortable but he quickly covered it up “well I have a younger brother we are pretty close my parents will kill me when they find out I’m in Gryffindor, but I don’t care because I hate them anyway. What about you James tells us about your family” “well I’m an only child my family and I are really close and my dad gave me this” and James pulls out a corner on an invisibility cloak Sirius and Remus both gape at it, “imagine all the pranks we could play with this” Sirius says James tucks the cloak away.

A perfect comes up to them “It’s lights out guys, you three along with Peter Pettergrew are sharing a dorm” they all walk to their dorm and get in their pajamas and go to bed. Remus was the first to wake up, he just layed in bed for a little while thinking when he looked at the clock it was 6:00 a.m.

Remus decided he was going to get up and get ready, he went to take a shower and when he touched the faucet it burned his hand “ahhh” he moaned in pain, he quickly grabbed a washcloth and turned off the faucet he left the bathroom and went to his trunk for his first aid kit after he finished banaging his hand he heard Sirius stirring, Remus quickly put his stuff away and grabbed his clothes.

Sirius sat up “Remus what happened to your hand? Are you ok?” “yeah I’m ok, I just cut my hand” “let me see” “no it’s ok, I’m going to breakfast if you want to come with” “yeah okay I’ll come with you just let me get dressed” “ok I’ll wait for you in the common room”

Remus walked out of the dorms and down the stairs into the common room, he saw Lily on the couch and decided to go talk to her “hey Lily how’d you sleep?” “hey Remus I slept great” she was about to ask him about him then she saw his hand “Remus are you ok? What happened to your hand? You should go see the nurse” “Lily I’m fine, I just cut my hand I don’t need to go see the nurse” just then Sirius came down “hey Remus you ready to go to breakfast” “yeah I’m ready, are James and Peter still sleeping?” “yeah they’ll probably sleep through breakfast” “ok let’s go”

When they walked into the great hall at this point everyone was waking up and coming to breakfast. Sirius and Remus sat down to start eating when he noticed all the dishes that held the food were made of silver so he carefully grabbed a piece of toast and that was it “Remus aren’t you going to eat more than that?” “no I’m not really hungry” which was a lie he was starving but he didn’t want to risk burning himself.

Before Sirius could continue to ask questions owls swooped in, Remus got two letter and so did Sirius but he noticed Sirius fidgeting and that’s when he noticed one of the letters was actually a howler before Remus could say anything the howler exploded “SIRIUS ORION BLACK HOW DARE YOU BETRAY THIS FAMILY LIKE THIS YOU CAN EXPECT SERVE PUNISHMENT WHEN YOU GET HOME. THE DISRESPECT AFTER EVERYTHING YOUR FATHER AND I HAVE DONE FOR YOU THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY US IS BY BEING AN AWFUL GRYFFINDOR YOU ABSOLUTE DISGRACE YOU SHOULD HAVE NEVER BEEN BORN AT ALL. ALL YOU ARE IS A DISAPPOINTMENT”

Everyone was staring at Sirius including the professors Sirius looked like he was ready to cry but then quickly covered his emotions and read his second letter then he looked at Remus “who are your letters from?” Remus could tell he didn’t want to talk about the howler so he opened the letters quickly skimmed it “my mom and my dad what about you?” “my cousin Andromeda she’s the only other Black not in Slytherin”

Mcgonagall came and gave everyone their class schedule and that’s when James and Peter walked in and sat down next to Sirius and Remus “you could have at least woke us up,” James said as he was fixing his food “well be aren’t your babysitters James” Sirius said playfully Remus laughed and looked at the class schedule “it looks like we have transformation first”

They all ate and talked and made jokes until it was time to go to class. When they got to class the four of them sat down together after the lesson they were all gathering their things and getting up to leave “Remus can I have a word with you?” all the boys stopped and waited for Mcgonagall to talk “not you three just Remus” the other three gave Remus a look but left and shut the door.

Mcgonagall cast a silencing charm “since they are probably going to try to listen, what happened to your hand Remus?” Remus shrugged “it’s nothing professor” “Remus let me see your hand” Remus held up his hand and she undid the bangide and looked at it “how’d you burn your hand?” Mcgonagall asked “I touched the shower faucet and didn’t realise it was silver so it burned me” “Remus you should have this looked at this by Madam Promfrey” Remus shook his head “if I go get it looked at I’ll be late to charms” “Remus I’m taking you to Madam Promfrey and it’s not up for negotiation”

She walked over to the doors and beckoned him over “I don’t have any classes for an hour now let’s go” she opened the door and Sirius James and Peter all almost fell over “you boys should be getting to charms don’t be late or I’ll be forced take points” the boys were speechless but then Sirius spoke up “what about Remus?” “Remus will be coming with me now get to class and don’t make me tell you again”

The three of them walked away even though Sirius looked upset “come along Remus” they went to Madam Promfrey’s and got his hand looked at and rebandaged then Mcgonagall walked Remus to charms class. Remus walked in and sat with the boys.

Remus and the other three quickly got into a schedule and were pretty close and it was now mid September. They were all in the common room one day Remus was reading a book Sirius and James were playing chess and Peter was watching when James suggested “we should pull an epic prank” “what kind of prank James?” Sirius asked “well we could use the cloak and sneak up on snape and pour a pompion potion into his pumpkin juice” James suggested “as long as we don’t get caught it sounds fun and harmless since the potion wears off” Remus said.

Remus agreed and Sirius and Peter nodded their heads “great! We’ll do it tonight at dinner” James said happily “do what?” Lily Evans asked “nothing Evans” Sirius and James both said. It was now dinner time and Remus and James had boiled the potion, and now all four of them were under the invisibility cloak with the potion in James hand they quietly walked up to Snape who hated all four of them especially James and Sirius when all four of them were right behind Snape James poured the potion into Snape’s pumpkin juice and then they quickly shuffled out of the great hall took off the cloak tucked it into Remus bag.

They walked back into the great hall like nothing had happened and as soon as they walked in Snape took a drink of his juice and as soon as he did his head turned into a pumpkin they all burst out laughing as did almost everyone in the great hall after Mcgonagall rushed over to him and smelt his juice she realised what had happened to his head “Snape your head will be like that for about a hour please go see Madam Promfrey please”

Mcgonagall walked over towards the four of them and the four of them quickly went to sit down when Mcgonagall stopped them “boys” she said sternly they all stopped and turned to her and tried to look innocent “Mr. Snape seems to think the four of you are behind the prank that was pulled on him” Remus was the one to speak “Professor it wasn’t us we did laugh at it but almost the whole great hall did”

Mcgonagall actually seemed to believe them “fine you may go, also Remus remember what I told you the first day please” and then she walked off “mate what was that about?” James asked “it was nothing, let’s just eat after our first of many successful pranks” they all smiled and walked to the table and sat down and ate Remus still having to be careful only took a little food.

“Remus you should eat more than that you’ve barely eaten all day” Sirius said worriedly “Sirius I’m fine, I’m not that hungry” which was a lie “Remus you always say that but you need to eat” this time it was James that spoke up worriedly Remus could feel himself starting to get upset so he just stood up before they could continue “guys I’m not feeling so good I’m going to head to the dorm. I’m really not hungry and I’m fine with the amount I eat” Sirius went to say something but before he could Remus walked off.

He ended up at the astronomy tower. Remus sat on the edge of the wall and at that moment he felt absolutely awful and he just couldn’t stop and tears just welled up in his eyes and spilled over and then he couldn’t stop crying “why do I have to be who I am, why can’t it all just stop I can’t do this anymore” and at that moment Remus had never felt so awful and he considered just falling off the tower but before he could he felt someone grab his shoulder

“Remus what are you doing? Were you considering jumping down?” Remus didn’t know what to say to Professor Mcgonagall so he just nodded his head “Remus honey why would you ever consider that?” “What other option do I have how am I supposed to survive the rest of my life being who I am? I’m a monster” “Remus that is never the option you are not a monster. You can’t help who you are, but you doing that won't help anything imagine what your mother would do if something happened to you”

Remus broke down crying at that and Mcgonagall pulled Remus into a hug “Remus will you please come with me to Madam Promfrey’s office?” Remus nodded and they walked down to Promfrey’s together. When they arrived, Promfrey was surprised to see them.

“Professor Mcgonagall what are you and Remus doing here” “Remus honey will you sit down so I can talk to Madam Promfrey?” Remus nodded and sat on the bed while Mcgonagall and Promfrey walked to her office “Poppy I went up to the astronomy tower and I saw Remus and he was about to jump”

Promfrey gasped and then Mcgonagall continued “I’m worried about him so I don’t know what to do. Do you still have you still your psychologist friend of yours?” “I do, what are you thinking?” well do you think you could get him to come here tomorrow but under the raider?” Promfrey nodded “well I think we should have Remus stay here overnight and then have your friend come talk with him tomorrow and obviously Remus being excused from classes tomorrow. I’ll double check with Headmaster Dumbledore to see what he thinks”

They both walked out to where Remus was and Mcgonagall crouched down “Remus would you be okay staying here tonight and then meeting one of Madam Promfrey’s friends?” Remus nodded “okay I have to go right now but if you need me at all just tell Promfrey and don’t be afraid to tell her and I’ll come right away okay?” “yes” “good I’ll be back tomorrow to come see you and also bring you breakfast”

Remus started to tear up but nodded and Mcgonagall pulled Remus into a hug after the hug she walked off. The next morning Mcgonagall was walking down to breakfast to get Remus something to eat. She almost walked into James, Sirius, and Peter they all looked concerned.

Sirius was the one to speak “Professor have you seen Remus he said he wasn’t feeling well and was going to the dorms and when the three of us went to check on him he wasn’t in the dorm and didn’t come to the dorm the whole night and I know he didn’t just crash for a couple hours because I stayed up all night waiting for him” “Remus is in the hospital wing but before you running to see him he can’t have visitors right now or all day until he is released” “what happened to him is he ok?” they all asked “that is very personal and it is up to Remus to tell you now please go to breakfast and don’t be late to class”

Mcgonagall walked into the great hall and fixed a plate with lots of stuff and then grabbed an apple then went and said something to Dumbledore and left. They all sat down “do you think we could sneak in with the invisibility cloak and see Remus?” James suggested “yes!” Sirius said and then he went to run to the dorms then James grabbed SIrius “let’s be a little more discreet yeah?” “fine James how are we supposed to be discrete “it’s not like anyone knows we have it so let’s just get up slowly and it’s not like anyone can stop us” Peter suggested “perfect plan Peter!” James said.

They went to the dorms to get the cloak. Meanwhile Mcgonagall had just reached the hospital wing and then she walked in and saw Remus stur in his sleep and start to wake up she thought he looked so relaxed and it made her happy seeing him like that. Remus sat up “Professor Mcgonagall what are you doing here?” Mcgonagall shut the door and then walked over to him and sat down, “I told you I would bring you breakfast so I grabbed you some food to eat” then Mcgonagall cast a silencing charm and locked the door “now eat your food”

Remus started eating and then stopped “are you staying?” Mcgonagall sighed “I thought I would just stay here to make sure you’re okay. Is that okay?” Remus nodded then she heard bang at the door and she turned at looked at Remus who looked scared “Remus honey whoever is there can’t hear us and they can’t use a spell to unlock the door because it’s a different type of locking spell that is not taught at Hogwarts”

And as soon as she said that Madam Promfrey walked in “hi Remus how are you today?” she also nodded in greeting at Mcgonagall “I’m okay” “well would it be ok if one of my friends came and talked to you today?” “what about classes?” Remus asked “Remus Headmaster Dumbledore and I both agree that it would be best to give you the day off” Mcgonagall added “sure” Remus said quietly “okay Remus now I have to go prepare for classes I will come check on you later ok?” Remus nodded.

As soon as Mcgonagall walked out of the room she ran into something and three boys fell out of nowhere, she noticed it was Sirius, James, and Peter and that they had been under an invisibility cloak “what on earth are you three doing? And where did you get this?” and she holds up the invisibility cloak “Professor what are you doing here?” James asks nervously “that is not your concern now answer my questions?” “we just wanted to make sure Remus was ok, please don’t take away the cloak my father gave it to me it’s been in our family for centuries”

Mcgonagall sighed “Mr. Potter this is not a toy but on account of this being a potter heir loom I won’t take it however you three boys have detention every night with me for a month. And for the rest of today you will be supervised by either a teacher or a perfect till lights out and if your behavior is ok it will only be today if not it will be a week. Now come along with me to my office transformation is your first class and I have to prepare”

The boys looked like they were about to object “boys if I hear even a single complaint I will double your punishment” they all shut up and followed her to her office. After Transfiguration Mcgongall had a Gryffindor prefect walk them to their next class and at lunch a perfect was sitting by them.

“Black where is Remus?” Lily asked “none of your business Evans” “he’s not your pet Black but it looks you three are other peoples pets” “back off Evans” Sirius growled “look Evans Remus is in the hospital wing but we don’t know why and Mcgonagall won’t let us see him, so Sirius is upset and we also got caught trying to sneak in and see him and this is part of our punishment” James said “wait so you're his supposed friends and you don’t know what’s wrong?” Lily asked “correct” Peter said.

Remus ended up talking with Promfreys friend for like four or five hours and after that Mcgonagall came and saw him and said he could go back to the dorms whenever he wanted, Remus wanted to study so he decided to go back then Mcgonagall walked back to the Gryffindor common room “Remus if you ever need anything my door is always open please come talk to me when to me when your upset okay?” “okay, Professor thank you for everything”

He walked through the portrait hole and as soon as he did Sirius, James, and Peter all came running up to him “Remus are you okay?” Sirius asked “I’m fine Sirius I just got sick but I’m better now” “well we actually have detention” James said looking at the clock “why do you guys have detention?” “because we were trying to come see you and Mcgonagall caught us after she had said no to coming a visiting you,” Sirius said.

Remus was shocked that they cared that much “come on Perfect we don’t have all day, places to be people to see” James said “we’ll be back in a little bit I left my notes for you on your bed so you can study like I know you want to” Sirius said then they all walked off.

The next week flew by James, Sirius, and Peter no longer had to have 24 hour supervision but they still had detention and the full moon was tomorrow and Remus was feeling awful he was tired, cranky, and he hurt “Remus tomorrow night we should pull another amazing prank” Sirius said to him at breakfast “not tomorrow Sirius I don’t feel like it, you guys can” “but it’s no fun when it’s just the three of us” James whined “guys I don’t feel up to it maybe another time”

Remus walked off and ended up walking to Mcgonagall’s office, he knocked and as soon as he did the door opened and he saw the Headmaster and Mcgonagall “ah Remus how wonderful to see you now I must be going good talking with you Minerva” after he left Remus was just standing there “Remus honey sit down” Remus sat down “now what can I do for you Remus?” Remus had ended up talking to Mcgonagall. They were both almost late luckily Remus had charms which was only a few classrooms down. “Remus if you’re late give this note to Flitwick” Remus nodded and walked off.

He got there just as class was starting and he sat next to James. It was the night of the full moon, it was right before he had to go to the hospital wing the boys were all in the dorm and Remus got up to leave “Oi Remus where are you going?” Sirius asked as he messed with his wand “I’m going to visit my mother remember she gets sick a lot so I have to go visit her” Remus walked out of the dorm to the hospital wing.

”Remus just on time how are you feeling?” Madam Promfrey asked “I’m okay I hurt but that’s nothing new” Promfrey sighed “okay well I’m going to walk you down to the shrieking shack where the whomping willow has been placed” “you don’t have to come with me if you don’t want to” Remus said “nonsense I’m coming with you plus I need to show you how to get past the willow” Remus just nodded and they walked to the whomping willow.

“Ok Remus how you get past is you tickle the branch right here” and she deminstraighted and the willow stopped moving “now I will come check on you as soon as the moon has set okay?” “you don’t have to it won’t be a pretty sight I wouldn’t want to upset you” Promfrey sighed “of course I’m going to come check on you don’t be ridiculous”

Remus went through the willow and closed the door and went upstairs and then the moon rised and he transformed. The next thing he knew he was in the hospital wing in a private room “Remus your awake we were getting worried for a little bit let me go grab Pomfrey” Mcgonagall said and stood up to go get Madam Pomfrey, Remus was surprised to see Mcgonagall sitting in the chair but then he was trying to figure out how long he had been out.

Mcgonagall and Promfrey both walked in Madam Pomfrey came over “Remus how do you feel? I know you must hurt” Remus went to sit up but that hurt and he winced Mcgonagall helped him sit up “this moon was hard the wolf doesn't like new places” then they heard a bang outside the room and Remus shrank down “it’s ok Remus I’m sure it’s just a student who is being dramatic” Promfrey said “I’ll go check on them” Promfrey walked out of the room. “How long have I been out?” Remus asked Mcgonagall “it’s currently dinner time” Mcgonagall said.

Remus ended up staying in the hospital wing till the next night luckily it had been the weekend so he didn’t miss any school. Remus walked into the common room just after dinner Sunday night “Remus your back we thought you were never going to come back” Sirius said as he ran up to him.

Time quickly flew by and it was the day before Halloween and the four boys were plotting their Halloween prank that they had been planning for a month when the portrait hole opened and Mcgonagall walked in everybody in the Gryffindor common room was confused as to why their head of house was there “Mr. Lupin will you please come with me” she looked very serious the four boys exchanged a look thinking they were in trouble and she was questioning one at a time.

Remus stood up and walked to Mcgonagall “is something wrong Professor?” Remus asked “Remus please just come with me” they both walked out of the common room “do you think she knows about the prank?” Peter asked “I don’t know mate” James said.

Mcgonagall walked Remus to her office and when they entered he saw Headmaster Dumbledore “Remus why don’t you have a seat” Dumbledore said, “am I in trouble Professor?” he asked Dumbledore “no Remus your not in trouble we just have something to tell you” Mcgonagall said “Remus I don’t know how to tell you this but someone attacked your mother she didn’t make it” Dumbledore said.

Remus was in shock and didn’t believe it “that can’t be true she owled me yesterday saying everything was ok” Remus said “Remus” Mcgonagall said “no no please, no” Remus said and he broke down sobbing Mcgonagall pulled him into a hug and Remus sat there sobbing for probably half an hour “can I go home and see my father?” Remus asked and then Dumbledore went to the floo and talked to Lyall.

Dumbledore came out of the floo “Remus your father says you can go home he apparently already has the funeral planned for tomorrow” Remus started crying more “can I go now?” “yes you can and once you get there I will get you your stuff” Mcgonagall said and then Remus floo’d to his house.

Mcgonagall sighed “I don’t know if he will ever recover from this Headmaster” Dumbledore sighed “I don’t know Minerva all we can do is be there for him” Mcgonagall nodded “I’m going to get his stuff and bring it to him” and Mcgonagall walked out of her office.

She walked into the Gryffindor common room and again everyone looked nervous but Sirius, James, and Peter all ran up to Mcgonagall “where is Remus? Is he okay?” Sirius asked “Remus had something very personal come up I’m just grabbing some things for him” Mcgonagall said “what’s wrong?” James asked “Mr. Potter that is not your concern ''yes it is, he’s our friend” Sirius said. “Mr. Black there are some things you don’t understand when Remus comes back it is his choice whether or not he tells you. But if I find out you pressured him into telling you I will personally make sure you have detention for the rest of your first year, is that understood?” they all nodded and walked back to the couch.

Mcgonagall had gone and dropped off Remus’ stuff and saw he was hiding in his room crying while Mr. Lupin was surrounded by people, she gave her condolences and went up to Remus’ room and sat with him for awhile and then returned to Hogwarts.

It had been two days and the three boys still hadn’t seen Remus. They just got done pulling a prank on Slytherins, they walked into their dorm and saw Remus. All three of them ran over to Remus “Remus are you okay?” Sirius and James asked at the same time.

Remus just looked up at them and shrugged, when the three boys looked at him, his eyes were super red and puffy “Remus what’s wrong?” Sirius asked Remus almost burst into tears but held himself back “it’s my mom” and that’s when he broke down in tears “what’s wrong with your mom?” Peter asked “she’s dead” and that’s when he started sobbing.

Sirius pulled him into a hug and just held him while he was sobbing. After like fifteen minutes Remus pulled away “what happened?” Peter asked and James smacked him “she was attacked” was all Remus said “Remus I’m so sorry” Sirius said.

Time had quickly flown by the three boys made sure to constantly keep Remus distracted and happy and they had gotten a couple detentions for getting caught pulling pranks but they were focused on making Remus smile.

Tonight was the night of the full moon Remus had been cranky all day and the boys just thought it was about his mother so they were trying to cheer him up “Remus let’s go play in the snow” Sirius suggested “I don’t feel like it Sirius, I think I’m just going to go to the library” Sirius sighed he didn’t want to upset Remus by pushing him into doing something he didn’t want to do “okay if that’s what you want”

As Remus was walking away Sirius noticed that Remus looked ill. It was lunch time when the three boys saw Remus and he looked really ill “hey Rem are you ok? You look ill” Sirius asked “I’m fine Sirius just tired” Remus sighed “you really don’t look good Remus” Lily said “but out Evans” Sirius said “he’s not your property Black” Lily said “both of you I’m fine” Remus said to both of them.

It was night time and the boys were getting ready for bed when Remus stood up to leave “Oi Rem where are you going?” James asked, Remus didn’t know what to say “um my father needs to see me, so I’m going back home” and Remus left.

“Anyone else think Remus is lying?” Sirius asked “no I think so too we should follow him under the invisibility cloak” James said, they all agreed and got the cloak and quickly followed after Remus.

They were like ten feet behind Remus as they followed him as he went to Madam Promfrey and out to the whomping willow where Promfrey left Remus “what is he doing?” Peter whispered “I don’t know let’s follow him” James said, they followed him into the shrieking shack and they were climbing up the stairs after Remus when they suddenly saw Remus transforming into a werewolf “run” was all Sirius could say and that’s when the wolf noticed them and chased after them they had almost made it out when the werewolf clawed James foot the other two boys pulled James and they ran and made it to the entrance of Hogwarts and collapsed.

When Sirius looked up he noticed Mcgonagall and she was walking towards them “what in heaven's name are you three boys doing out here?” and that’s when she looked down and saw James ankle which was bleeding pretty bad “oh boys tell you didn’t do what I think you did” Mcgonagall said as she was picking up James to take to the hospital wing “we didn’t know Professor we knew Remus was lying when he told us where he was going tonight so we decided to follow him” Sirius explained as they were walking to the hospital wing.

When they arrived at the hospital wing Madam Promfrey had just arrived there as well “boys you could have died tonight and that would have killed Remus” Mcgonagall said as she sat james on the hospital bed “what in heaven’s name happened” Promfrey asked and then looked at James ankle and gasped “did the boys?” and she couldn’t even finish her sentence “yep” was all Mcgonagall said “James ankle is the only damage but his ankle didn’t look good to me” Mcgonagall said

Madam Promfrey examined James ankle and cast a charm to stop the bleeding “it looks like the wolf nicked one of you bones and cracked it, I can heal the bone but it’s going to hurt to walk on I’m going to put a bandage on it then give you a set of crutches that you have to use for the next 24 hours”

While Promfrey was bandaging James ankle Sirius decided now was the time to ask questions “how long has Remus been a werewolf? Why didn’t he tell us? Is he going to be okay?” Mcgonagall sighed “Mr. Black those are questions to ask Remus, and don’t make him feel like you hate him. Also how do you three feel about this?” the three boys looked at each other, “it’s not Remus fault and we won't tell anyone” Sirius said “yeah” James and Peter agreed.

After James ankle was bandaged up and he the crutches they were sent back to the dorm when they walked in everyone stopped and looked at them “you okay mate?” Frank Longbottom asked James “yeah, I hurt my ankle and can’t walk on it for 24 hours” James explained.

None of the boys slept that night and as soon as the moon set they walked down to the hospital wing where they saw Madam Promfrey in her office it had probably taken them half an hour to get to the hospital wing because of James crutches “where is Remus can we see him?” Sirius asked “you have to wait about a half hour then I will let you see him” Promfrey said. They nodded and sat in some empty waiting chairs.

After half an hour of waiting Promfrey went to check on Remus, when she came out she walked over to the boys “Remus is awake, I’m fair warning you he isn’t a pretty sight and I don’t want you to freak out in front of him so if any of you don’t think you can handle it do not go in there” the three boys looked at each other “we are going” James said.

When they walked in Remus turned his head thinking it was Mcgonagall and then when he saw the boys he freaked out “what are you three doing here? You shouldn’t be here?” Remus said quickly “Rem it’s alright we know and we don’t care” Sirius said Remus looked at James and saw his ankle “I did that to you didn’t I? I could have killed you three” James sighed and sat down in one of the chairs “Rem it wasn’t your fault, I don't care. Plus the bandage makes me look cool” Remus laughed at that “so Moony we brought you some chocolate” Sirius said “Moony?” Remus asked “yeah it’s the nickname we came up with for you” Remus laughed again.

The four boys were enjoying the chocolate when Mcgonagall walked in “hello Remus I brought you breakfast and a book” Remus looked all excited when he heard her say she brought a book. Mcgonagall walked over set his stuff down and kissed Remus’ forehead “you three don’t be late to class” Mcgonagall said as she walked out.

The three boys were surprised at how Mcgonagall treated Remus but didn’t say anything, then Madam Promfrey walked in “you three it’s time to leave you may come back for lunch” they sighed and left.

“So they know now how do you feel?” Madam Promfrey asked Remus “it’s weird because even though I hurt James they weren’t afraid of me” “see Remus I told you not everyone would care about it and those three seem like a good group of friends” Promfrey said “they are” is all Remus said before he started to fall asleep.

After the day of the full moon they all got closer and they always did their best to cheer Remus up when he was upset about his mom but what they didn’t know was that every night Remus silently cried himself to sleep one night Sirius had woken up because of a nightmare when he heard sniffling coming from Remus bed so Sirius walked over “Moony are you okay? Can I open the curtain?”and the sniffling suddenly stopped “SIrius why are you awake?” Sirius slowly opened the curtain and saw Remus eyes were red and puffy “what’s wrong Moony?” even though Sirius was pretty sure he knew the answer “I miss her so much Sirius” Remus sobbed and Sirius held him as he sobbed and they both ended up falling asleep like that.

“Moony, Sirius wake up!” James said they both groaned “it’s too early James” Sirius said as he yawned “Peter and I want to go play in the snow come on!” James said as he jumped on Remus bed “ugh James it’s Saturday it’s unnatural to be up this early” Remus said “it’s 10:00 a.m.” Peter said now jumping on the bed “fine we’ll get up” Remus said.

They ended up playing in the snow for hours “is everyone staying here for Christmas?” Peter asked “I am” James said and Remus and Sirius both nodded “cool so we have to play an epic Christmas prank” Peter said “that’s a great idea Peter!” Sirius said excitedly “it will be the best prank ever played at Hogwarts” James said.

They have been planning their prank and they decided they were going to have the entire Great Hall floor turn into ice and have giant snowmen chasing people around throwing snowballs at them. They had found the charms they needed and had cast the charms that were set to go off at breakfast.

Remus was the first to wake up there are several presents and a letter from his father he gets up and jumps on Sirius bed “wake up it’s Christmas!” Sirius groaned but rolled over and opened his eyes and Remus heard the other two wake up James quickly sat up “presents!” James yelled, they all got there presents Remus opened his there was candy from the boys, a Gryffindor hoodie from Mcgonagall and then the letter from his dad, Remus opened the letter and it read “Dear Remus, don’t bother coming home this summer I don’t want you, so find another place to stay because I never want to see you again, you are no longer my son never speak to me again you Monster. From: Lyall Lupin” Remus was in shock at the letter and broke down into tears Sirius noticed Remus crying and got up “Moony what’s wrong?” Sirius asked. Remus just handed Sirius the letter Sirius was so shocked he didn’t know what to say.

James looked over and noticed the change in demour “what’s wrong Rem?” James asked “he got a letter from his dad” Sirius answered for Remus. Sirius handed the letter to James for him to read after James read the letter he sighed “Moony he’s not right you’re not a monster, you know that right?” Remus shook his head “of course I’m a monster my own father wants nothing to do with me” Remus sobbed Sirius grabbed Remus’ shoulder “you are not a monster Moony!” Sirius said “Moony your father is the problem not you” James said Remus just cried on Sirius’ shoulder.

After awhile Remus sat up “okay we need to go down to breakfast or we are going to miss the prank” Remus said as he bottled up his emotions the other three boys gave each other a look but decided to drop the subject of Remus’ dad “okay let’s go!” Sirius said and the four boys walked down to the great hall and sat down waiting for the prank which was set to happen in one minute. They sat there anxiously until they heard people gasping and looked down to see the floors were turned to ice.

After the floor turned to ice there was suddenly a bang at the door and giant snowmen came storming in and started throwing snowballs at people including the Professor’s and the great hall quickly erupted into a snowball fight after awhile of the students and some of the Professor’s throwing snowballs at each other Mcgonagall stood up and cast a spell that melted the ice and snowmen and then she walked up to the four boys she knew were responsible for the prank.

“My office boys” Mcgonagall said to Remus, James, Peter, and Sirius all four of them sighed and followed her to her office. Once they were inside the office “I know you four were responsible for the prank but my question is how did you learn those spells they are fourth year charms” Mcgonagall said “I found them in a book and we all learned them” Remus said Mcgonagall sighed “very well your four will have one week of detention” “okay the four boys said Mcgonagall then said “you may go”

As the four boys were leaving Sirius hesitated but then stayed and after the other three left shut the door and cast a silencing charm “is there something you need Mr. Black?” Sirius didn’t know what to say but just blurted out “I’m worried about Remus” Mcgonagall looked at him thoughtfully “why so?” she asked “he got a letter from his father and it pretty much said that he wasn’t welcome home anymore and that Remus was a monster” Sirius said, Mcgonagall didn’t know what to say then she said “I will talk to him thank you for informing me” Sirius nodded and then walked out.

When Sirius walked out the other three boys were all standing there “what was that about?” Remus asked “oh it was just something about my parents” Sirius said as they walked back to the great hall to actually eat when they sat down all of the days owls flew in and one dropped a letter off at Remus. Remus was shocked he got a letter and when he looked at the outside of it, it didn’t say who it was from Remus opened the letter and started reading

“Dear Remus my beautiful baby boy if you are getting this letter it means that something has happened to me but there is still something that I have to tell you that you deserve to know, your father is receiving a similar letter I have lied to you and your father since before you were born and it’s time I come clean you believe your father is Lyall Lupin which is what I told you and your father but that isn’t true there was a point when your father and I were seperated and I met someone I instantly fell for and I ended up pregnant with you and I didn’t know how my family was going to react because I was still technically married to your father so I chickened out and told your biological father that I was pregnant with your fathers baby and that I was getting back with him and for me to keep it a secret I never talked to your biological father again, I’m so sorry I lied to you Remus I didn’t know how to tell you and I was afraid you would hate me for not being brave. Remus baby I love you so much I hope you can forgive me I love you forever. Love Mom xoxo

Remus stared at the letter in shock there were so many thoughts going through his head at that moment but all of a sudden he just got up and ran off, Sirius got up and followed him but he ended up losing him because Remus was so fast. Remus had ran to Mcgonagall’s office and knocked and as soon as he did he saw all four head of houses and Dumbledore in her office and Remus suddenly felt very awkward since he was on the verge of tears Mcgonagall must have noticed because she then said “well I think this meeting is over if you would please let yourself out that would be appreciated” everyone walked out after that.

“What can I do for you Remus?” Mcgonagall asked in her calm and soothing voice Remus just handed her the letter and started sobbing Mcgonagall embraced him. She read the letter while holding Remus. After Mcgonagall read the letter she looked down at Remus and didn’t know what to say then Remus “my whole life has been lie” Mcgonagall sighed and hugged him tighter “Remus just because of this doesn’t mean your mom didn’t love you, she was just didn’t know how to tell you” Remus just sobbed on her and then said “so that’s why my father sent his letter this morning” Mcgonagall sighed “probably” Mcgonagall said.

Remus looked up at her “you knew about the letter my father sent?” Remus asked “yeah I did” Mcgonagall answered “how did you find out?” Remus asked and Mcgonagall sighed “Sirius told you didn’t he?” Remus asked “yes he did, but don’t be mad at him he was just worried about you” Mcgonagall said Remus just nodded and hugged Mcgonagall tighter.

After about half an hour someone knocked on the door and Remus pulled away from Mcgonagall. Mcgonagall looked over to Remus to make sure he was okay with someone coming in and Remus nodded “come in” Mcgonagall said and as soon as Mcgonagall said come in Sirius barged in and he spotted Remus he sighed “there you are Rem we were worried about. Are you okay?”

Remus just handed Sirius the letter and Sirius read it then set the letter down and pulled Remus into a hug and said “I’m so sorry Moony I can’t even imagine what you are going through but you have to know your mother loved you and James, Peter, and I are here for you” Remus just hugged Sirius tighter and the rest of the day flew by with James, and Peter found out what happened and they were all there for Remus and worked hard to cheer him up.

It was coming to the end of the first year and the four and become known for as the pranksters of the school and they had started calling themselves the Marauders one day Remus was sitting in the library studying when Lily Evans approached him “hey Remus are you excited to go home and see your family” Remus flinched when she said that but covered up his emotions “yeah I am” Remus lied “me too, but I’m going to miss it here” Lily said and then Sirius came skipping into the library “hey Moony wanna come pull some prank with James, Peter, and I” and then he noticed Lily “what are you doing here Evans?” Lily scoffed and said “it’s the library Black everyone can be here. You three are so immature I don’t why you hang out with them Remus” this time Sirius scoffed but before Sirius could say anything Remus said “they are my friends Lily, sure Sirius I’ll come with you three just let me put my stuff in my bag” Lily just sighed and walked away.

As soon as Lily walked away Remus’ facade fell and his eyes started watering and Sirius noticed right away “Moony what’s wrong?” Sirius asked “Lily didn’t mean to but she asked me if I was excited to go home and see my family” Remus said sadly “oh Moony it will be ok maybe you could stay with James you don’t want to stay with me my family is the worst” Sirius said “Sirius it wouldn’t work nothing will work because of my monthly problem” Remus said as he started to walk off and Sirius followed him but they almost ran into Mcgonagall “Remus I was actually looking for you” Mcgonagall said “can I talk to you in private?” Mcgonagall asked “sure” Remus said and they walked to her office.

“Is something wrong professor?” Remus asked worriedly “nothing is wrong I just wanted to ask you something” Mcgonagall said “what’s your question Professor?” Remus asked “I know you are probably stressing about where you are going to stay this summer with everything that’s happened this year but how would you like to stay with me this summer? You don’t have to and don’t feel pressured to say yes” Mcgonagall said.

Remus was shocked and didn’t know what to say but just blurted out “you want me to stay with you?” Mcgonagall nodded “I don’t want to be a burden to you” Remus then said “you could never be a burden to me Remus” Mcgonagall said “I want to stay with you” Remus said “that’s great Remus we’ll discuss later, is that okay?” Mcgonagall said and Remus nodded and walked out of her office. Remus had told the other three about what Mcgonagall had said “see Moony I told you everything would work out” Sirius said “now let’s prank some Slytherins” James said.

The rest of the year quickly flew by and now it was the day everyone was going home but because Remus was staying with Mcgonagall he wasn’t taking the train so he was saying goodbye to the boys before they left “I can’t believe we have to wait all summer to see each other” Sirius whined and the other three boys laughed then James said “make sure you owl us and tell how you are doing and if we have to come rescue you from Mcgonagall” James said and Remus laughed “make sure you three owl me too I want to know how your summer is going” Remus said and Sirius quickly hugged Remus and then they had to leave for the train. Remus had walked over to Mcgonagall and sat next to her “I’m going to miss them this summer” Remus said “well you will be able to owl them whenever you want now are you ready to see your new home for the summer?” Mcgonagall asked and Remus nodded.

#harry potter fanfiction #marauders era #marauders era fic #marauders fanfiction #wolfstar #wolfstar fic #wolfstar slowburn #james potter #remus x sirius #remus lupin #sirius black #lily evans #professor mcgonagall

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alindakb · 5 years ago

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Letters to my Parents - Monday 8 November 1993 - by Alinda

Monday 8 November 1993

Hi Mom & Dad,

Professor Lupin told me he used to be friends with you both. I can’t believe it. After all these years I finally know someone who knew you both and could tell me about you. I figured this out during Halloween. You remember me telling you that Halloween was the first day my classmates were allowed to go to Hogsmeade. Well, I had to stay behind all by myself. Draco first wanted to stay with me at the castle. He hates that he had to go without me, but Blaise and I convinced him to go.

When they were all getting ready to go, Draco gave me a long kiss goodbye and promised that he would bring back lots of sweets from Honeydukes. Greg yelled at us to stop being so pathetic and that we can snug again when they come back in time for the feast. And we both knew he was right, but still, I’m so used to always be around Draco that it was weird saying goodbye to him.

After that, I just wandered through the castle. I didn’t want to go back to the common room and be reminded that Draco was out having fun with all our friends. For a moment I considered going to the library and do some homework, but I prefer to do my homework when Draco or Hermione are around to help me when I get stuck. Really I wouldn’t get the grades I have if it wasn’t for their help. We started our little study group again in the library. We go there every Wednesday afternoon after class. It’s me, Draco, Blaise, Greg, Daphne, Hermione and Luna. The other Gryffindors don’t really hang out with us anymore. I’ll tell you all about why in a bit, first I want to explain how I figured out that Professor Lupin was a friend of yours.

I wandered around the castle before I decided to go the Owlery to see Hedwig. Only I never made it. Professor Lupin called out to me from his office when I passed by. He asked me where Draco was and I told him that he was at Hogsmeade with the rest of our friends. And then Professor Lupin showed me a Grindylow to cheer me up. A Grindylow is a sickly green creature with sharp little horns and long spindly fingers. The professor explained that they are water demons and that they were easier to handle than the Kappas we studied in the lessons before that.

After that we had tea and Professor Lupin asked about Draco, if he was doing okay after the Bogart incident. I told him all was fine. I didn’t have it in me to tell him that Draco has nightmares still and then just clutches onto me when I wake him and cries. I don’t know what to do to make it any better. I told him I wasn’t going to die any time soon, and I know he knows I don’t want to die anymore, but the nightmares won’t stop. I asked Miss Davis if she knew what we could do about them, but she said it will just take time. Really she’s becoming more useless every day.

While the Professor and I were having tea Professor Snape came by to bring Lupin a potion because he’d been feeling a little off-colour. It was weird seeing them interact. I don’t think they like each other very much. And it didn’t look like Snape made the potion out of kindness, more because someone ordered him to do it. Like when I get when I don’t want to make my homework. They hardly spoke more than three words at each other. Professor Lupin didn’t even thank Professor Snape for the potion, he just drowned it quickly and placed the smoking goblet on his desk. And then I saw it, the picture on Professor Lupin’s desk. It contained both of you, a younger Professor Lupin and two other young men I didn’t recognise. And it just shocked me, seeing you there in that picture, big smiles on your faces.

Professor Lupin told me that you, dad, were one of his best friends when he was a student at Hogwarts. I just nodded and then walked out of his office. You both had looked so happy in that picture, surrounded by friends and I really missed you both. I ran down to the dungeons and cried into my sheets until Draco came back with bags filled with sweets. I asked him about his day, and he told me all about visiting Dervish and Banges, Zonko's Joke Shop, the Three Broomsticks and the Post Office. It seems Hermione had gone a little crazy there, completely fascinated with the colour-coded owls.

Professor Lupin took me apart for our next DADA lesson and told me that if I ever wanted to talk to him about you I was always welcome to come by for a cup of tea. I told him I would, but I haven’t gone to see him yet. I’m a little scared of what he will tell me. What if you are different than I imagined? What if you hated gay people? What if he would tell me you would never approve of Draco and me being a couple. I don’t want to hear that. I rather have my fantasy about who you are than finding out you were horrible people. Draco says it will be okay, that I was a kind soul and that at least one of my parents must have given it to me. Maybe he’s right, but I’m still scared. Even though I get more curious every day about how you were really like.

After the Halloween feast, which was great and a lot of fun, I just wanted to crawl into bed with Draco and kiss all my worries away. But we had hardly brushed our teeth when we were all ordered to go back to the Great Hall. When we arrived there, Hermione made her way over to us and told us that The Fat Lady, the portrait that guarded the Gryffindor dormitories had vanished and that her portrait had been slashed so viciously that strips of canvas littered the floor. According to Peeves it had been Sirius Black trying to get into Gryffindor Tower.

We got to spend the night in the Great Hall while the Professors searched the castle. Headmaster Dumbledore waved his wand around to clear the Hall of all the tables and make purple sleeping bags appear. The colour of the sleeping bags lightened the mood a little when Blaise joked that Dumbledore was as gay as they get with his love for purple. We all crammed together in a corner (we is Blaise, Greg, Daphne, Luna, Hermione, Draco and I) and wondered how Black had gotten into the castle. Which turned into a lesson from Hermione about how the castle was protected and you can’t apparate in. And then Draco wondered out loud why Black had gone for Gryffindor Tower when it was Harry he wanted to kill. Well, you can imagine that this was a shock to all our other friends and we had to explain to them that I had overheard the Tonks family when they had a fight about telling me or not. We think that maybe Black thinks I’m in Gryffindor since both of my parents were in Gryffindor. That it was a mistake on his part.

The days after Halloween, everyone in the castle talked about Sirius Black. The theories about how he made it inside became crazier by the day. Hannah Abbott from Hufflepuff is convinced that Black can turn into a flowering shrub. It’s kind of funny how sure she is of herself. Hermione is just annoyed by it all. She says that having Sir Cadogan as the guardian of their door is driving everyone insane. I’m glad we just have a piece of wall and no crazy portrait guarding our dormitories.

But that’s not the worst. Since Black had been spotted in the castle, teachers all find excuses to walk along with me to my next class. Draco loves complaining about that, it takes away all our changes to sneak into one of the many alcoves and snug a little between classes. And then Professor Snape called me into his office to tell me that Black might want to kill me. I told him I already knew. He just shook his head and said he should have known. He gave me some new rule for my safety. I’m not aloud to go anywhere after dark without a teacher and I should not spend to much time alone. Not that Professor Snape was worried I’ll be alone much since it seems impossible to separate me from Mister Malfoy. And he assigned Madam Hooch to oversee our Quidditch training. He wouldn’t want Slytherin to lose another match because I can’t train at night.

Talking about Quidditch. You remember me telling you that Draco was fighting with his hair the entire match. Well, Daphne showed me how to make a French Braid around the sides of his head so the shorter hairs won’t pull out of the ponytail so easily. And ever since then I’ve been braiding Draco’s hair every morning. First, it was just to practice, so it will be perfect by the time we have to play our next match. But now it’s more because I like doing it, and Draco loves it when I touch his hair and brush my fingers lightly over his head. Daphne says it’s sweet and Greg just thinks it’s a weird gay thing he will never understand.

And I need to tell you still why we hardly hang out with the other Gryffindors anymore. Well, it’s really simple. Hermione and Ron are fighting again. I don’t even know what’s about this time. But they don’t talk and avoid each other like the plague. So Ron and his friends don’t hang out with us anymore. Draco isn’t too worried about it. Said it’s easier when he doesn’t have to give Neville evil looks all the time because he’s staring at me. I don’t think Neville stares that much, but Draco is convinced that Neville has the hots for me. Blaise is a bit more disappointed by it all, he liked hanging out with Seamus. He says it’s one of the few people in this school he can gossip with about girls. And of course Greg was all bother by this and Blaise just told him it’s no fun with to talk girl with him because he can only talk of that one girl he likes.

Well, I think that’s all for now, I’ll write to you again soon. Draco just finished his shower and I have to go braid his hair so we can go get some breakfast.

Love you,

Harry James Potter.

#letters to my parents #drarry #Harry Potter #Draco Malfoy #harry in slytherin #remus lupin #severus snape #halloween #sirius black #AlindasStories

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thinkaboutnetwork-blog · 7 years ago

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1950s Experiment Asked Artist To Take LSD And Draw The Same Portrait 9 Times, And Each Portrait Got Crazier

In the 1950s the US government did a lot of experiments with psychotomimetic drugs (in fact, as anybody who’s seen or read ‘The Men Who Stare At Goats’ will know, the US government used to do all sorts of weird and wonderful experiments). One of these experiments included feeding human test subjects measured quantities of LSD and then monitoring their ensuing behavior.

In one particular…

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#1950s Experiment Asked Artist To Take LSD And Draw The Same Portrait 9 Times #a University of California-Irvine psychiatrist known for his work on acid #And Each Portrait Got Crazier #and his drawings (which were recently uploaded by somebody called juraganyeri) capture in fascinating detail the various stages of his hallu #and is generally agitated - responds slowly to the suggestion he might like to draw some more. He has become largely non verbal. &039;I am.#and please #as anybody who&039;s seen or read &039;The Men Who Stare At Goats&039; will know #because I know. I know&039; - (this saying is then repeated many times) Patient... Read More Report Add a comment... POST Petra Christovová #but I won&039;t #but it doesn&039;t take long before the artist&039;s perception of reality starts to warp #but now those of my drawing are not. The outline of my hand is going weird too. It&039;s not a very good drawing is it? I give up - I&039;#but very vivid - everything is changing colour. My hand must follow the bold sweep of the lines. I feel as if my consciousness is situated i #changing media to pen and water colour.) &039;This will be the best drawing #don&039;t try this at home. 1 Time: 20 Minutes After The First Dose (50ug) Time: 20 Minutes After The First Dose (50ug) An attending docto #from the beginning of his trip right through to his comedown. See for yourself below #gave an artist an activity box full of crayons and asked him to drawing his experiences on LSD. And as you can see from these 9 illuminating #I think it&039;s starting to wear off. This is a pretty good drawing - this pencil is mighty hard to hold&039; - (he is holding a crayon).#I want to go home now.&039;#In the 1950s the US government did a lot of experiments with psychotomimetic drugs (in fact #intersecting the space in complex variations. It&039;s an hour and a half before he settles down to draw again - he appears over the effect #it is bad and uninteresting #like the first one #my elbow... my tongue&039;. Report Add a comment... POST Mibo Dumplings 11 hours ago Honestly this is better than what I can do 8 ReplyView #no break!&039; Upon completing the drawing the patient starts laughing #only better. If I&039;m not careful I&039;ll lose control of my movements #Oscar Janiger #so clearly. This... you... it&039;s all... I&039;m having a little trouble controlling this pencil. It seems to want to keep going.&039;#spending approximately 2 hours lying #the results are just as trippy as you&039;d expect. Things start out normally enough #the US government used to do all sorts of weird and wonderful experiments). One of these experiments included feeding human test subjects me

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id-rather-be-an-outsider · 3 years ago

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Together, To. Get. Her.

Najma Ali x The Scarecrow

summary: The ebbs and flows of Najma Ali and The Scarecrow’s relationship as they come together and come apart again and again.

word count: 2886

a/n: hi! I wrote this story mostly for myself, but this is just another look into the journey of my OCs, (one survivor, one killer) as tagged up top, features 3 canon survivors and 1 canon killer :) timeline takes place before and after Sacrificial Lamb, which you can find in my masterlist below! enjoy!

masterlist

I’ve been sitting in this waiting room for what feels like ages, the secretary insisting the founder is running late and that it’s unusual for them. Probably stuck on the toilet, I guess to myself. That’s all these old men ever do. Instead of letting myself succumb to death to escape this boredom, I take to exploring the art around the room. Portraits, scenes of modernity done in a classical style, abstract works are all here, and somehow the collection all seems to fit together. It’s not the colors or the style, but... something about how it makes me feel. I can’t quite put my finger on the feeling. To give the founder some credit, they have good taste.

“I’m so sorry I’m late! My cat got out and I had to catch her after she got scared by a dog!” A girl about my age runs in the room, dressed in a smart suit, curls wild and eyes wide.

I quirk a brow at her. “Who are you?”

“O’Flann, the person you’re meeting with today.”

“Are you sure?” I ask, “With a name as old as that I expected to find someone entirely different.”

“Nope, just me. Sorry if you thought you’d be meeting someone rich or famous. I’m just in university.” She says, one hand on her hip. She pulls open the door. “Shall we?” I follow after her, finding it odd that she isn’t talking herself up. Most business people do.

“So, who were those paintings created by?” I ask, curiosity getting the better of me.

She glances back at me as she briskly paces down the hallway. “In the front room? My students. I told them to embody oddness.”

“Well, they certainly are odd.” I observe.

“Yes, I was hoping to show them how similar our minds can be. Part of my work here is showing the world how art can be used to learn about the human beliefs.”

“And what does your art say about your beliefs?” I press.

She comes to a stop, holding open a door for me. “Probably that I believe my mind is a mess after all the grief it’s given me.” I pass through, and find us alone, with some colored pencils and different shades of grey and brown paper sitting on a large table. “So, here are my ideas, but feel free to propose any of your own or add anything to it.” She rattles off about ten different options, and I try to note which ones are preferable for my image. We whittle it down to sculptures of dresses and draft up ideas from there. The crazier the better, she says, and for once, I agree. We come up with six total, each using a different medium. They’re outlandish for sure, but still very beautiful. I can’t help but stare at her, so focused on generating ideas she doesn’t even notice. What goes on in a mind that creative?

“Alright, coffee next week?” She says at the end of our session, “So we can discuss progress of the sculptures and plan your speaking engagement with the kids.”

I nod my head. “Sounds like a plan.” That night, I go to sleep looking forward just the slightest bit to our next meeting. There’s something about her that’s... intriguing, to say the least. It’s refreshing to meet someone so different than the people I usually bump into in my line of work.

“What do you mean?” I ask, not wanting to believe my ears.

“Well,” She says awkwardly, “I just... I don’t see how we can continue like this. Our relationship, as much as I enjoy it, is already strained by the distance. And now I’m going to be going on that research trip, and my phone likely won’t have any service. I want to be fully focused while I’m there, not...”

“Thinking about me.” I supply.

“It sounds shitty when you put it that way, but... yea.”

“Maybe that’s because it is shitty.” I state coldly.

Oasis sighs. “Yea... I know. You’re allowed to be mad.”

“I’m not.” I lie.

“Yes you are, I know you are. It is shitty of me.” She says.

It’s my turn to sigh. “But maybe it’s for the best.” I concede. “What if I came back?”

Her tone shifts. “Uh-um, I mean, I don’t know. If we connect like last time, then I have no opposition to it, but...”

“But you don’t want me to count on it.”

She tries to put a positive spin on it. “More like I don’t want you to feel like you have to wait for me. There are plenty of good people out there for you, a lot better than me and what I can give, which is pretty minimal by comparison. I don’t want you to give any of those opportunities up.”

I play along. “You’re not wrong. I’ll bounce back and take a look around. But if I land on you again, I can’t help it.”

“As long as you’re not just settling for me.” She reminds me.

“I’m not.” I say. We say our goodbyes, and I sit in melancholy, telling myself crying isn’t worth it, while also pushing away the thought that she’s the only one worth crying over.

It’s been weeks since Tapp and I started searching for her together. My initial suspicions proved to be more than likely correct. I can tell that all the fact-finding, connecting evidence, and all the other ‘Detective Stuff’ Tapp does is just his way of competing against me. He’s cold and unamusing, and looks at me like I’m a threat. I might as well be. I don’t know what Oasis saw in him beyond looks and a track record of success. At least I know her type, now. Was I just another underdog to her? She seems to collect them.

“Tapp,” I prompt one night. “Who do you think is responsible for the murders?”

“Which ones?” He asks.

“Of the four teens.”

He doesn’t meet my eye. “I don’t think Oasis could’ve done it. She’s too gentle.” Images of her goofing off with her students, laughter filling the air, come to mind. Then, juxtaposed, the pictures Tapp showed me of the way those teens were butchered. Maybe they deserved it after all the bodies they buried. But still... it’s gruesome to think about. “But the evidence seems to point that way, since she’s the only one not yet confirmed dead.”

“What will happen to her when we find her?”

He suggests, “Maybe she’s committed to a mental hospital for awhile with an insanity plea. Maybe she’s let off free since it was self-defense. With the forensics showing those teens responsible for the other murders, she might be able to spin the story that way.”

“Spin the story?” I question, eyes narrowed.

He shrugs. “The way they were torn up? It’s more than just self-defense. It’s revenge, for what they did to her.”

“What if she’s being set up?” I counter.

“Then whoever the hell set her up knows how to play their hand without leaving a trace of their existence. Perhaps the same person that helped her vanish into thin air.” He puts his hand on his chin, deep in thought.

I stand up. “You said it yourself, the fog helped her disappear. Thinking like that is getting us nowhere.”

He points out, “I’ve come across some crazy muhfuckas before. Creating a fog for cover while they snatched her isn’t so outlandish to be impossible. We’d just have to figure out who had the money, time and ability to pull a heist like that off.”

I scoff. “I’m going outside. Maybe you should get some fresh air so you don’t dig into any more conspiracies. It’s not helping her.”

He scowls. “You’re the one who entertained the idea in the first place.”

“Not like that, I didn’t.” I argue.

I chill by his cruiser, closing my eyes. Why am I even doing this? Am I just trying to prove to her that I still care? That she shouldn’t have left me? Am I doing a good deed for public praise? I don’t know. Everything was so much simpler before. I only worried about myself, and what would help me the most.

Then she came along, and her attitude toward life was intoxicating. I danced around this drunken idea of building a future with her, giving up the fame, the chance to be rich beyond belief. But she’s such a free spirit, she can never be tied down for too long. Whereas most people are enamored with me, she got bored, and moved on to her next catch. This Tapp fucker.

I feel myself scowling just from thinking about him. What does he have that I don’t? Nothing. If the question were the other way around, he’d be nothing in comparison to me. All he does is solve cases after the crime happens. He doesn’t prevent anything. He doesn’t save people. But-

“Justice, justice matters,” Oasis said, sitting at the café table, sipping on her mocha, “To society, to the families of the victims, to the victims themselves. That’s why the movement is so close to my heart. I know what it feels like to not get justice. To be told that my pain, and by extension, myself, doesn’t matter. I know what it’s like to be given nothing, and to have people above me tell me I have to be satisfied with that - that if I dare take more than what little I have, I’ll lose it all, and then some. It doesn’t sit right with me. It’s not a satisfying world to live in. It needs to change. It must change.”

She could monologue for hours about the different social efforts in her city. Justice and fairness was always at the root of it. So that’s what this is? She wants a hero, not just a media mogul. Tapp’s a hero. I’m not. I’m a self-serving celebrity. If I want her back, then I have to be the one to find her. I’m filled with a new resolve.

I hear a scream in the distance. My head snaps in the direction of the sound, and I see a bucket hat just barely rising above a nearby field of wheat. The same bucket hat Oasis was wearing when she went missing. Only, she’s running away from me. She must not be able to see. I run to the edge of the wheat. It’s dusk, somewhat foggy. I hadn’t realized how much time had passed. I look back at the police station, barely discernible through the mist. Do I go back and get him?

No. “Oasis!” I yell, cupping my hands on either side of my mouth to amplify my voice. “Oasis!” No answer. “Oas-“

“Help!” A scream resounds back. Not one I recognize, but their voice sounds raw, scratchy. “Help me!”

Something about their screams sends shivers down my spine. But who else is gonna hear them? “Where are you?” I call to them. “Follow my voice!”

“I can’t, they’re gonna find me!” They cry.

“Who?” I reply, trying to see if I can locate them myself. I step into the wheat, and suddenly it looks much taller than it did from the outside. “Who’s gonna find you?”

“The Scarecrow.” They murmur, and it sounds like its next to my ear. I turn, slowly, and am face to face with her. I jump back, caught off guard. Curls. Bucket hat. Overalls. Mask. Sunflowers.

“Oasis? Is that you?” I ask warily, reaching out a tentative hand. She slowly reaches back. I feel an overwhelming urge to retract my arm, run away, but it makes no sense. She envelops me in a hug. It feels like her hugs, it must be her. “Oasis. I found you. Let’s go home.” I hug her back.

A splitting pain erupts in my back in the next second- I feel my muscles twist, and I fall to ground, blood leaking out from the injury. I cry out, fear flooding my veins. I crawl backwards, away from her, toward the police station, but when I glance behind me, all I see is wheat. She steps toward me, not quite looking at me, more so following the sound of me. I stop moving, trying to hush up. She also freezes. Shakily, she moves around, feeling the wheat around her, and I ever so carefully lift myself up, silence being my only protector, sneaking away. She’s obviously not sane anymore. I need to escape. I need to find Tapp. No use in being the hero if I wind up dead-

A snap echoes under my feet. I look down, seeing a broken twig. Why? “Found you.” Oasis says, and charges at me. She produces a knife from her pocket, flipping it open. She brings it down with the force of an animal fighting for their life, lodging it in my arm and twisting again. I scream in agony, crying, thinking it won’t ever end. Then she picks me up, tossing me over her shoulder like I don’t tower a foot over her, holding me there with one arm.

Whatever happened to her, she’s stronger, blind, savage - how do I make sense of this all? All I know is I don’t want to die this way. As futile as it is, I start wiggling, hitting her back weakly, trying to get off her shoulder, until she stops, grabbing me with her other arm, and throws me up and away from her. Everything is so hazy, I don’t know why, but when a giant hook rips through the flesh on my shoulder, I sob. She’s leaving me like this? Would’ve been better for her to finish me off.

I can’t tell you how long I’ve hung there for, but I’m almost stabbed in the chest when a giant, thorn-like entity appears out of nowhere. I push and push it back as hard as I can, struggling for my life, not that I expect to survive, and wonder to myself: What kind of world is this? Where is Tapp? Surely he’d notice my being gone by now. What happened to Oasis? Why is this happening to me?

My hand slips, and the razor sharp thorn plunges into my chest. I can’t even scream, blood flooding my throat, choking me. It hurts so bad. Everything goes black as my head lols forward, hanging down.

I wake up by a campfire. I jerk into a sitting position, checking my body for injury - but I feel fine, and I see nothing. My clothes are covered in dirt. I look over and see a girl sitting on a log, strumming a guitar. The song sounds beautiful, and dark - the tone matching the terrible dream I just had.

She pauses her playing to say, “That wasn’t a dream. My name’s Kate. I don’t know how you got here, but welcome to the Fog.”

I’m on the edge of the field. It feels like it’s been months since I got trapped in here. The pain of seeing the person I loved become the villain, time and time again, is unbearable. I cry every night. But right now, I’m running away from the Trapper. One of my friends, Meg, is his obsession. I’m running along the edge of the map, looking for totems, when I hear her. “Najma!” From just outside. Her voice sounds different, frantic. “Najma, it’s me! Oasis! I- The Entity let me go! I have my sight back! I’m here to get you out!” I freeze in place. “Najma, please! Please answer me! If you’re still there, that is.” She sounds a little closer. “If you don’t answer, I’ll come in there looking for you myself!”

“No! Don’t do that!” I plead.

“Why not?” She asks.

“That’s how I got trapped here. Looking for you.” I say, quieter.

“Najma...” Oasis says. “I’m so sorry.”

“You didn’t seem very sorry when you were busy gouging out my eyes!” I shout.

“That wasn’t me- I mean- it was my body, but I had no control. I had to do it. I hated every second of it. I have nightmares about it now.” She admits.

“How did you get out?” I ask.

“David found me. He came looking for me, and I guess the Entity just spit me out. New eyes, new hair color, even.” She says, with a hint of intimacy when using Tapp’s first name. I bite back my annoyance.

“Let me see you!” I say, “We can jump!”

“Okay, uh, on three!” She responds.

We count, and launch ourselves into the air. She sounds so close, but when I catch sight of her, she looks kilometers away.

“What happened?” She calls, “I thought you were nearby!”

“I was!” I shout, “I- I don’t know! The Fog doesn’t work like normal!”

“Shit,” She says, “I’m coming in!”

“No!” I say, then hear my heartbeat in my ears. “Don’t! He’s coming!” And start running.

“Who? Who’s coming?” She asks.

“The Trapper!” I hear a trap go off, and Oasis screams.

“Najma, run!” I hear her get felled by the tall man, and go as fast as my legs can carry me. Oasis is here. She’s in the Fog. As herself, this time. Does this mean we can all escape?

#outsider writes #dbd moodboard #dbd #dbd oc survivor #dbd oc killer #dbd najma ali #dbd the scarecrow #dead by daylight #dbd kate #kate denson #dbd david tapp #detective david tapp #dbd meg #meg thomas

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straight-outta-hobbiton · 7 years ago

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On Sirius Black and the Black Family Dynamics

So, something interesting I just realized.

In Grimmauld Place, Sirius still has a bedroom. Like, canonically, he sleeps in the room that used to be his growing up. It still has his posters all over the walls and everything. On top of that, it has a letter sent from Lily in 1981.

While I recognize JKR is shit at keeping timelines, it made me think— for the placement of that letter to work, Sirius must have been either living in the house or stayed over regularly enough that it wouldn’t be unusual for him to leave things like letters from his friends lying around.

According to Sirius, Walburga was basically an alt-right stand-in, and thanks to the portrait, we have no reason to disbelieve him. But here’s the thing— even after she blasted him off the family tapestry, she left his room alone. Yeah, there were permanent sticking charms on his posters and whatnot, but considering the implied magical ability both she and Orion Black had they probably could have gotten rid of it all anyway, turning the room into another guest room or an office or a torture chamber or whatever. But they didn’t. They left it just as it was.

This, to me, implies that they expected their son to come home, whether it be because he has nowhere else to go or because he learned his lesson and was willing to return on their terms. Since he still became Lord Black after they died, I can’t imagine they legally disowned him/wrote him out of the will, considering they were filthy rich Purebloods with appropriately-thinking family out the ass.

So, Walburga and Orion expect their elder son to come home, and he doesn’t. He moves in with the Potters, then inherits a small fortune from an uncle that basically wipes away any chances of the first scenario happening, leading to the fury and blasting of Alphard Black’s portrait off the family tapestry. Still, they don’t destroy his room. They leave it there.

Then, at some point in 1979, Regulus dies, and so does Orion. Walburga is suddenly completely alone, her husband (to whom she was happily married, according to a couple of different sites) and her perfect, albeit younger son, who did the right thing and joined the Death Eaters. She’s older, she’s sick with grief, and she’s pretty much lost everything that a proper Pureblood lady ever wants in the world.

I theorize that she and Sirius contacted each other again somehow, either Walburga writing to Sirius about the death of his brother and father or Sirius contacting her with condolences, though I think the first is probably more likely, since Regulus ‘disappeared’ rather than just straight up died. So they come back into contact again.

Sirius is a kid who was abused by his parents, at least emotionally, probably physically. You figure he probably spent most of his childhood before running away doing his best to be accepted by his parents, to be loved and understood even though he knew deep down inside that they would never accept him as he was. Still, he tried— he probably got good grades, probably tried to do things he thought might make his father proud or his mother smile in between bouts of rebellious, probably self-destructive anger. And while he’s mostly gotten over the people-pleaser thing— after all, they’ve still got Regulus, the better son, and anyway he’s got his friends and a job and a purpose beyond that sort of stuff— when he gets the news that his brother (who he loved, even if he turned out to be a no-good Death Eater) and his father (who taught him how to fly and cast his first spells but always let his mother have her way when Sirius did something wrong) are dead, he still grieves. Nobody else can understand it, really, so he goes to his mother, the only other person in the world who feels at least a little bit like he does.

His mom’s still a bitch. She’s still mean, and hates his friends and his life and his beliefs and his choices, but she’s older now, worn down by the sudden shock of losing just about everything she cherished within a single year. But she lets him in, lets him sit across the table with a cup of tea with her in silence, lets him ask about her health and if she knows how Regulus died (because even if he’s technically missing, they both know that he’s dead). Eventually, of course, the meeting goes bad, and he slams the door behind him as he goes.

But he comes back.

He starts... visiting. It’s never comfortable, their conversations always on a knife’s edge between superficial small talk and full-blown arguments. He hates that he can’t say anything about his life, about how James and Lily got married and how Remus has a new job, because it’ll just lead to insults about his Mudblood friends. He hates that she’ll just bring up shit he does that she doesn’t agree with and tell him why he’s being stupid by getting involved with Dumbledore, and he just has to sit and take it because God forbid he brings up how well Regulus’ involvement with the Dark Lord went.

She doesn’t seem to mind that he visits, though, and as time passes, she starts getting obviously weaker, physically, magically, and mentally. She starts talking to him like she did when he was a kid in between those angry outbursts, before he proved to be nothing but a bloodtraitor, shaming his good family name by running around with Dumbledore’s lot. And the little kid in Sirius— the one still desperate for approval from his mother— eats it up, prompting him to visit more, even maybe spend a few nights in the house. It’s not perfect— more often than not, she still seems to hate him— but there’s just enough sweetness on Walburga’s part that makes Sirius think that maybe, maybe he could change her mind, maybe he could get this to work even though it definitely won’t.

She’s pleased when Harry’s born and he’s named godson, even if the brat’s only a halfblood, because an alliance with the Potters is a step in the right direction, even if they aren’t Sacred Twenty-Eight. She lets him show her pictures, and remarks how lucky his godson is to take after his father, and even on one occasion meets him, when a babysitting Sirius pops in to pick up a present for Harry he’d left at Grimmauld. But she’s still getting worse, still getting sicker and crazier and meaner despite all this.

Eventually, of course, Sirius’ visits stop, and Walburga finds out he’s in Azkaban thanks to the Prophet. She gets sicker, and weaker, and eventually dies in 1985, leaving behind only her family name and holdings and a hope that maybe someday, Sirius will be freed, and he’ll do what’s right by the family.

Sirius told Harry he never came back to Grimmauld after he ran away. I think it’s more interesting if he was lying.

#sirius black #walburga black #orion black #harry potter #harry potter headcanon

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dracoskullonmain · 6 years ago

Note

For the writing prompts: she was fearless and crazier than him, she was his queen. And God save anyone who dares to hurt his queen. Its from Suicide squad if u need the ref.

Thank you for the prompt!I’m sorry about how long it took to get to this, the past few weeks have been kinda chaotic. Had a scare about my hard drive failing, but to make up for it, i kinda got carried away with writing this one… I hope you like 6 pages, because oh man i got so carried away…Also, i modified the phrase a bit to suit the moment, hope you don’t mind! This is a continuation of the last prompt, and there will be a third part that covers what was really going on behind the scenes. I Hope you enjoy!

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He had thought everything was going to be alright. Sitting in the darkness of his expansive bedroom, Adrien repeated it to himself over and over and over again.

It was going to be alright.It was going to be alright.It was going to be alright

The storm was heavy, rain falling in thick sheets across the parisian sky for as far as the eye could see. Each drop made a heavy beat, conducting a natural orchestra on the rooftops and streets below. From inside his large, dark, empty room, all Adrien could hear was that rain beating on his windows, tapping away to a tune only mother nature could tell. It was maddening.He tried not to think about what he’d done, why he was sitting here in the dark. Why he felt so… disgusting. “”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“`Only two hours earlier he had sat down for dinner with his father, a chipper and happy young man who had everything in the world. A caring if not cold father, a loving but detached partner, a class full of friends and smiling faces and a place away from this cold abode. Striding into the room, he was sure to wipe away the cheerfulness from his face before he sat down, lest his father try to pry into his business. It was a dance he’d practiced every day, every time he came to this room. After this, he would head to his room for piano lessons as was his usual routine.This was not a usual day. Adrien took his seat, and immediately his father entered the room. Something seemed off in the air surrounding the older man. He seemed… happy? Father being happy was such a foreign thing. Two years of his cold existence had wiped away any memory of what Gabriel looked like when he was genuinely happy. It seemed he was less accustomed to hiding it then Adrien was, because he realized his mistake and schooled his expression in a heartbeat. Adrien expected him to sit. Instead he stood behind the chair, setting down his papers before he cleared his throat to talk. “Adrien.” The younger blonde boy turned his full attention to his father, carefully setting his hands in his lap in the image of perfect obedience. “I wanted to discuss with you something. Would you mind if we delayed dinner for a moment?” It was almost hilarious. Adrien knew from years of experience the question was a demand thinly masked as the idea of choice. Still he would not deny his father the courtesy and nodded his consent. “Adrien… Do you… miss your mother?” The question was so tentative, as if he was stretching a foot gently out onto a frozen lake to test the strength of the ice. Was he afraid that Adrien might say no?“Ofcourse father… I think of her every day.” The question of why his father would ask such a thing laced the words, begging for an answer.An answer Gabriel quickly supplied. “So do i… I know this must seem strange to you, but hypothetically, What would you do if you had the chance to bring her home?” Hypothetical questions. Gabriel loved using those. It was a kind of trap usually. What was he looking to gain from Adrien this time? Well, it didn’t hurt to give a good answer. “I’d take it, i would think. Why?” Gabriel seemed to consider the answer carefully for a long moment. He seemed to be mulling over his words like he sometimes did, looking for just the right combination. Adrien got a chance to notice Nathalie in the doorway, a strange look on her usually expressionless face. Was she upset about something?His father’s words brought his attention back to the conversation. “Adrien, I want to confess something to you. For the past two years since your mother’s disappearance, i have been spending most of my time looking into bringing your mother home. It has been a long two years, filled with a countless hours and sleepless nights of research and meticulous planning. I am the closest i’ve ever been to finding her, but i need your help.”Adrien couldn’t comprehend the full meaning of his father’s words, but at that moment he didn’t feel the need to. His mother was close to coming home? He really did miss his mother. Oh how wonderful it would be to see her again! The house wouldn’t be so gloomy if she was here. They could put a real family portrait up again, not that dark drab forced image. Gabriel must have caught on to his enthusiasm, as he pressed on. “But before i can ask for your help, i need to make two admissions.” That did not sound good to Adrien. He gripped onto the seat in anticipation.“First, i know that you are Chat Noir.” Adrien’s heart had stopped for a tick. He knew? For how long?! The question must have broadcasted on his face because Gabriel was quick to answer. “I’ve known for a short while now. A month, give or take. But it’s not important. I’m not upset with you. Actually, i’m glad it’s you. It is wonderful world experience and does wonders for your personal image. But i digress.” Adrien felt his fingers go numb as he struggled to maintain his expressionless position. A cold feeling was settling over him. What could possibly carry behind the news of knowing his secret identity?“Now, i want you to understand, what i’m about to say is a bit… shocking, but i need you to hear me out before you say or do anything, Alright?” Gabriel seemed to genuinely care for Adrien’s response. He sounded downright worried. Adrien on the other hand wasn’t sure what to say or think anymore. He just nodded along. Gabriel breathed a small sigh. “Good. Now… Adrien, I am Hawkmoth.” Everything stopped working. Thoughts began to cram up with questions in his mouth, fighting for the chance to get into open air. He was choking as the world started to spin. Nathalie’s palm found his back, striking squarely between the shoulders to force the air out of him before he took a sharp inhale. She was trying to get him to breath and calm down, but Gabriel was just being… Gabriel. He’d stood up straight again, pinching the bridge of his nose as he took deep breaths to keep from doing or saying something incredibly hurtful. At least Nathalie was trying. But dear gods did the man seriously expect Adrien to just take this news with ease?! Was it April first? This had to be a sick joke. “Adrien, please breath normally and listen for a moment.” Gabriel commanded as he strode around the table to pull the seat out beside Adrien. He casually took the spot with the utmost dignity, as if he wasn’t the pretentious monster that terrorized Paris for two long years. “Adrien, i need you to listen to me for a moment. Do not falter now. I taught you better than that. Now, listen to me. I have made several mistakes in the last two years, but i want you to know /why/. I discovered that, through the combined powers of the Ladybug and Black Cat miraculous, it is possible to alter reality. With them, any number of things are possible, and yes, that includes bringing back someone dear. It’s a simple thing really, but i had the wrong idea in my approach. I used the Butterfly miraculous in the hopes of drawing out the other two. But i had a realization. I didn’t need to do any of this. It was all a horrible idea born from desperation and spite. I have no intentions of doing evil with the two miraculous, just getting your mother back. It’s all i’ve ever wanted.” Adrien glanced to Nathalie who now stood behind Gabriel, her expression melting to one of pity and remorse. In it he could see the truth of Gabriel’s words. The long nights awake, the weeks gone from home. The blonde boy knew how Nathalie secretly wished Gabriel would move on, but she would never voice her opinions. He returned his attention to Gabriel, who now slumped forward in his chair, looking at his hands. “Adrien… this is where i ask for your help. I don’t want to take the miraculous by force. I just want your mother back. I am willing to give up the butterfly for this. I’m not asking you to give up your miraculous, or being Chat Noir. I’m offering a solution. Lend me the black cat for a single moment so that i can wish for your mother back, and in turn i give up the butterfly. Hawkmoth slips into obscurity. Nothing will be between you and Ladybug anymore. And your mother, sweet Emilie, will be back home again. Would you be willing?”Adrien feld numb inside. This was all too much. His father was Hawkmoth? He’d been akumatizing people over the years just to bring back Emilie? Gabriel was a smart man, would he seriously stoop to such lows… He knew the answer to that. Adrien had watched his father’s rapid decline since the news had reached home. His father truly loved Emilie with all his heart, and he had always been the type to go the extra mile when it came to anything in his life, especially her. Adrien really couldn’t blame him, could he? Having jumped in front of enough akumas in the last two years to know that he and his father were a lot alike in how much they were willing to give up for the person they loved. Adrien turned his gaze back to his father. The look cast in those sullen eyes spoke of the desperation and hopefulness he had. He needed Adrien now more then ever to help him get back the woman he loved. Plagg remained strangely quiet in his pocket, as if he too was stunned into silence. Or he was just watching to see how this all played out. Adrien could not deny that this was a better alternative than to fight his own father for the miraculous. In any case, he and Ladybug would have to get the miraculous from Hawkmoth somehow. If they just let him borrow them, then everything would turn out for the better. His mother would be back, hawkmoth would be gone, Gabriel would have Emilie to counterbalance his negativity and ease up on Adrien. Without Hawkmoth, Ladybug and he were free to become friends without the occasional akuma getting in the way. Chat Noir would be a hero, he’d finally earn his father’s praise. Maybe he was crazy, but two years of akumas on and off almost every day was taxing enough. Logically, everyone won. And when had he ever known his father to lie to him like this? After All, he’d come clean about being hawkmoth. Now Adrien knew, he could tell Ladybug and Master Fu. All five of the miraculous could come here and force it out of Gabriel if he turned on his word. Adrien drew in a deep breath. “Alright… What can i do?” Gabriel seemed to light up at his response, taking a small handkerchief from his pocket to wipe away some of the tears that had threatened to stream down his usually stone cold face. “Nothing, yet. If you are willing, then i will need to go speak to Ladybug and ask her to come here so that i can borrow the miraculouses in both your presence. Hopefully, it will go as smoothly as our conversation has. If you are alright, it would be acceptable if you take your lunch to your room before you start practice. I will dine when i return.” The older man began to stand, before leaning down to wrap his arms around his son’s shoulders for a warm hug. It felt so meaningful and warm Adrien almost wanted to cry. “Thank you Adrien… I know this must be had for you. So go enjoy your lunch, and soon you can meet Ladybug without pretenses. Alright?” Adrien nodded, accepting the motion gracefully before Gabriel stepped away and removed his glasses to wipe his eyes once more. Nathalie escorted Adrien out of the room, glancing over the boy for a moment to watch Gabriel’s expression harden with eyes cast to the bottle in his hands marked with an eye and a teardrop. Adrien was ecstatic, eagerly chomping away at the mixed salad in his lap as he excitedly stalked the Ladyblog. All he could think of was how close this whole thing was coming to a close! And Ladybug! She would be here! In his house! Unmasked finally! Plagg remained quiet though, which began to niggle at Adrien’s thoughts till he sat the empty bowl beside the still full plate of Camembert cheese. “Plagg? Aren’t you excited?” He asked tentatively. Only then did it occur to him that he had failed to ask his kwami about where he sat in this whole thing. Plagg was one of the kwami involved, he had a say as well. The floating miniature black cat gave him a glance before letting out a sharp sigh. “Kid, look. That wish your father wants to make? It’s not a harmless deal. He was correct, technically. I can’t believe i actually heard all that, but he wasn’t wrong per say. A wish like that is much simpler then changing history, or wishing up an army. One person isn’t so bad… But it still has consequences. Did you even think about that?” With The kwami’s sharp and harsh gaze upon him, Adrien wilted in his seat. “No… I hadn’t. I’m sorry plagg. What kind of consequence would it have?” Plagg seemed to consider that for a moment. “Honestly… i don’t know. I don’t imagine it’ll be reality changing. What’s the saying from that show you watched? “Equivalent Exchange?” Ya. Like that. Something of equal value must be given. Gabriel may disappear for her, or maybe lose all his fortune and business. It’s hard to say. Tikki and I don’t get a say in it. We’re just the power supply.”Adrien could feel the weight of the situation settling on his shoulders, robbing him of his excitement. Did his father know this? Surely not if he was going to go to this much trouble to go through with it. “Does the butterfly kwami know?” Plagg looked a bit surprised, then sighed again. “Doubtful. Tikki and i don’t like to share details of it outside the guardians, as it can get messy if another kwami is forced to reveal anything. We didn’t even tell the guardians that much…”Anxiety and fear mounted inside Adrien’s chest. If his dad made the wish unknowingly, he could hurt himself. But he was going to get Ladybug and bring her here for the wish. That meant Adrien had a chance to explain the situation before anything happens. Maybe if they brought in Master Fu, they could find a better solution. All in all, he’d have to wait till his father came back. Nathalie knocked on the door. “Adrien, if you are done, it’s time for you to practice the Piano. I’m going to accompany your father, so your bodyguard is going to stay here with you till we get back.” Nathalie usually made sure he was doing his lessons, since he’d betrayed his father’s trust when he skipped out to go try to see the last movie his mother was in. Poor Gorilla got akumatized over that… which was a dark thought to think about. ”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”`So here Adrien was now, finished with his practice, sitting quietly as he watched the time pass. Every second since his father and Nathalie left felt like a millennia. Worry and doubt plagued his mind as he stared out into the dark skies from his room. What if things went wrong? What if Ladybug didn’t take it well? There were so many things he hadn’t thought of before now. Why had he said yes so easily?!He was supposed to be studying Chinese now, but Gorilla understood his nervousness. Still, his stoic as ever bodyguard insisted that he not indulge in frivolous activities like the computer or tv. He didn’t say it, he just made that usual growl and head shake if Adrien even tried for either. Adrien was growing restless. If Gabriel was going to meet Ladybug, he’d do so as Hawkmoth to get her attention. He’d need the media to broadcast it. There had to be something online about it…Masking any signs of his unease, Adrien politely asked Gorilla if he could use the restroom. Courtesy was still a thing after all. The guard seemed hesitant for a moment, but nodded. Adrien quickly sequestered himself into his bathroom, slipped on a pair of earbuds, and immediately took to the internet to find out what was going on.Pure Chaos. Everything was in pure chaos! Adrien mumbled as swear as Plagg flew in to look over his shoulder. Half of Paris was in chaos, people running in a silent panic as a wave of akuma swarmed about. The other miraculous users were present, doing what they could to stem the tide. Carapace was herding citizens and shielding them from hits, dozens of Rena Rouges were baiting and distracting, and Queen Bee was dancing about, hair messed up and looking royally upset about it as she took her anger out on any akuma with her spinning top. Two akumas floated over the crowds, one looked like a DJ maxed out, pumping out waves of red energy at everything below him. It must have been a noise canceling power. The one beside him was a tall woman dressed in black with a red streak in her hair. Nathalie. The camera turned to the Notre Dame, and zoomed in. There atop the North tower of the church was Ladybug, facing down Hawkmoth in a deadly dance. She was alone with his father, fighting for her life against an opponent who clearly had years of experience on her. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. Chat Noir was supposed to help close the gap between them!As he watched, anger, disgust, and sadness welling up in his chest until they merged together in an unholy fire that spread through his limbs. He’d been lied to. Gabriel lied to him. Hawkmoth was assaulting Ladybug on the Notre Dame, and where was her partner? Sitting at home, twiddling his thumbs as he waited for a liar to come home!She was fearless, and crazier than him. She was his Ladybug, And no kwami was going to save anyone who dared to hurt his ladybug. Not even his own father.

#Dracoskull ask challenge #miraculous ladybug #adrien agreste #gabriel agreste #nathalie sancoeur #My hand slipped #My hand slipped very hard.

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vsionvry · 4 years ago

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To My Sisters: Photographer Liv Latricia Habel On Her Resilient Self-Portrait Series ‘Diasporan Daughters’

Danish American photographer Liv Latricia Habel is the creator of the reflective visual diary ‘Diasporan Daughters’. It’s a moving series of self-portraits that explore her take on what it means to be a mixed Black woman, and what it is to be seen as a mixed Black woman in Denmark. Raised in Germany by her mum and currently living in Copenhagen, Liv’s series comments on her personal experiences of being one of the few brown faces in her community growing up. She also dives into her connections with America and her different relationships with religion. This interesting combination of personal lived experiences informs not only the style of her photographs but also the meanings behind them. Liv explores societal expectations, her personal views, representation and resilience through her images. I got the pleasure to sit down with her (over Zoom) and talk all things self-love, fighting spirit, sisterhood, alter egos, and the craziness that is code-switching.

RC: Hey Liv. how are you doing?

LH: I’m doing good, I’ve just moved to a new apartment.

RC: That sounds fun; you get to decorate a new space. Do you do all that feng shui stuff?

LH: I don’t really know anything about that [laughs]

RC: Neither do I! You just put what feels right wherever.

LH: Right, exactly. How are you?

RC: I’m doing good too, tired but good! I’m happy I got to hop on this call with you though, it’s a cool change of pace.

RC: So do you study film or photography or something else creative?

LH: Yeah, I study at Copenhagen Film and Photography School. It's a one year compact course and it’s ending this December. I also studied Visual Communications a few years ago.

RC: Ooh, that’s a good combo, they work together well.

LH: Right now I’m using my skills, but it's not really what I want to work with.

RC: What do you want to work with?

LH: Photography!

RC: [laughs] I like that.

LH: I like working with photography, but it’s not my main income.

RC: Sometimes you need a plan B to help your plan A.

LH: Yeah.

RC: So is the book Diasporan Daughters a project for school or a personal project?

LH: This is a personal project, my evaluation project for school is about young female and Black artists, which I’ve been photographing.

RC: That’s super relevant nowadays, it’s also nice to do a little showcasing because all this talent is there, but not a lot of people know about it.

LH: Yeah, exactly.

RC: I was wondering what made you come up with this project?

LH: [laughs] Okay the interview is starting!

I came up with it because of my own story. My mum is Danish and my dad’s Black American. I grew up in Germany with my mum who’s white and with my white family. My school and community were totally white, so I spent my childhood and adolescent life learning to look like everyone else. I couldn’t mirror myself in anyone around me, neither in my family nor my friends till I was 19 and moved to Copenhagen and found my own community and friends.

RC: Oh wow!

LH: I was 20 when I had my first Black friend and started having contact with my family in the US, so it wasn’t that many years ago. I think of it as being a chameleon sometimes since I have so many identities that frame who I am today. I guess everyone has different identities and we can code-switch when we talk and adapt. Which is just superhuman! But for me, as a mixed Black woman, it's even crazier because of the way I grew up: I have so many identities. There are the ones that I’ve been living with, but also the identities society has given to me – which are a reflection of structural racism too. So you know, when I’m walking down the street in a specific neighborhood in Copenhagen, where there’s a lot of sex workers, and I’ve dressed up, and look good: men directly ask me how much I am.

RC: Really?!

LH: Or if it’s another situation where I might be confused for someone else, only because of my skin color.

RC: I definitely felt that through the book because there were a lot of photographs of you in different settings.

LH: Some of the portraits, I can definitely see myself in, I mean one of them is my alter ego.

RC: Ah which one is that one?!

LH: The one where I’m sitting with the pink bandana.

RC: Boss lady?!

LH: Yeah, its me when I’m the best me [laughs]

RC: That’s really cool, cause it's not only different identities you’re exploring but different versions of yourself as well.

LH: Exactly. It's different versions of myself, that’s what I mean by identities actually. Some of the images aren’t me, but what society thinks of me. Like my expereinces of being mistaken as a sex worker or cleaning lady. They’re stigmatized stereotypes of a Black woman in white society.

“There are the ones that I’ve been living with, but also the identities society has given to me..”

RC: I like that! It’s an ongoing story, you can add more as you go.

RC: Why did you decide to title your series Diasporan Daughters?

LH: Hmm, being part of the Black diaspora means everything in terms of my looks to me and society. It is also such a big part of who I am, and the title refers to all the women and girls who are part of the Black diaspora. That obviously includes the African diaspora, but for me, being part of the Black diaspora means more since my African roots are pretty far away [laughs].

RC: It felt like a love letter where you said ‘I’m writing this for me, but also for you’. That’s a sweet idea I think.

LH: It is! In the beginning of the book it says “For my Sisters”.

LH: Each one of us is unique with our individual experiences, but we have a lot in common. Especially when you’re living in the diaspora. I guess it's a different experience to be a Ghanian woman living in Accra for example, where you were born and grew up surrounded by a lot of other Black women. I imagine that experience differs to mine: living as a Black woman in a white dominated society. So the book is mainly for my sisters in the diaspora.

RC: I also saw one of your images was of you standing beside the Queen Mary statue in Copenhagen. She’s a very powerful woman, why did you feel it was important to take that photo?

LH: I wanted to add this archetype of a fighting personality. And for me, this picture has connections to the Black Panther movement. At the same time, this image also connects to the Black Lives Matter movement that has been expanding worldwide in 2020 after Breonna Taylor and George Floyd's murder. For me, the only public symbol fighting the Black struggle that exists here in Denmark, is the Queen Mary statue. She means so much because she led the labour riots of former slaves and plantation workers in the then Danish colonised West Indies. So, it’s all connected for me: fighting for your liberty as a Black person since slavery till today.

RC: She’s also powerful because of the scale. The statue is a lot bigger than many others in Copenhagen, so when you get there, you have to look up. I was almost thinking, is this really here? It is one of the only public images of a Black woman – there should be more!

LH: Definitely. For me, this image is not the strongest stylistically in the book, but its content definitely says a lot more than a lot of the other pictures because it has so much more depth.

RC: You’ve spoken about people of color’s experiences, not only in Denmark, but around the world too. There was one photo where you were wearing a red scarf, I was wondering if that had anything to do with the Burqa Ban in Denmark, or if there was any connection with that?

LH: That’s a good question. No, it doesn’t actually. My dad’s family is Muslim, so I got the whole outfit from my aunt. I grew up pretty nonreligious; I only went to church on Christmas, and I had a Confirmation because of the presents and because everyone else in my class had one – so that’s been my relationship with religion. Being in Philly and celebrating Eid made me experience a different religion that’s part of me. I’ll probably never get into Islam because I disagree with parts that I think can be problematic, as a lot of other religions around the world can be. As a Black woman wearing a sign of God means so much, because if you’re walking around in the streets as a brown or Black woman wearing a hijab, you’re looked at way more than if you’re not wearing a scarf. I’ve only worn a hijab once for Eid with my family, but when I’m wearing a scarf just for a bad hair day, I can get looked at differently.

RC: Yeah, I guess you can pick it up.

LH: Yes exactly, the photo comments on that, and also for the little part of me that’s Muslim too.

RC: That’s really nice, that you recognize these different dimensions and layers to yourself. It’s not just ‘I didn’t grow up with this, so I’m going to ignore it’, I think that’s quite a powerful photo in your collection.

LH: Thank you, there's also just so much stigma connected to being a Muslim woman and wearing a headscarf, niqab or burqa I find, especially here in Denmark, politically, it’s often connected to Islamophobia.

RC: The other thing I wanted to ask about was the types of text you include in your book. You have poetry from Maya Angelou and lyrics from Cardi B’s and Megan Thee Stallion’s song WAP.

LH: I’ve known the poem from Maya Angelou for some years, and I think it’s a very beautiful poem. I actually have to look up when it was written – it was published around 25 years ago. But it expresses how important it is to have self-worth, self-esteem, show who you are, and to be proud of who you are and every bit of yourself. That’s why I chose it, and WAP, I just think it’s a hilarious song, and I think since Lil’ Kim, Missy Elliott and other female pioneers in Hip Hop have been rapping about femininity, being in control of their own sexuality, and about sex in general. WAP is just the biggest 2020 example of how women should express that part of themselves. It’s a very extroverted song, whereas the Phenomenal Women poem is very ‘You have to stand up for yourself, but you don’t have to shout it out’. WAP, on the other hand, is ‘You shout it out!’- [laughs].

RC: I think that’s pretty interesting because they both talk about the strength and resilience of a woman just in very different ways.

LH: I also added an extract from the report of the African American Policy Forum. It is a list of all the African American women who have been killed by police brutality. And that’s a list of 48 women who have been murdered or died in detention because of the color of their skin. This is only the official list you know –

RC: Somethings aren’t documented…

LH: Yeah, exactly! Where have you actually seen the book?

RC: I saw a version of it online! So I did some stalking [laughs].

LH: Ahh okay, well done! I’ve actually changed a bit of the layout of those names from the online version. I’ve put the names of the women who have died in the same year in the same paragraph. Since 2011, there's been so many murders. The rate has been increasing, but I find that we don’t talk about it as much as the Black men being murdered in the US.

RC: Is that why you felt it was important to showcase it in your book?

LH: Yes, it's definitely a different rate when we talk about the US. In my experience, we talk a lot about men, and how they are targeted more in terms of police brutality. But after George Floyd, there weren’t that many people talking about Breonna Taylor in my circles, which happened three months before. Even my mum’s friend was like ‘Who’s Breonna Taylor?' and I was like ‘Yoo, educate yourself!’ So that’s why I added them. Also, I’m a woman myself!

RC: You gotta work in your own interest –

LH: Exactly! I can't relate to the men, but I can represent us.

RC: It’s a solidarity moment. What do you hope people take away from your book?

LH: So I hope that everyone who sees and reads it can get something positive, meaningful, and forceful out of it, which they can translate into something that drives them. Secondly, when I’m a bigger photographer and if..

no, when the book gets -

RC: Yes! WHEN! You have to manifest!

LH: [laughs] Yes, when the book is out there on bookshelves, I hope I can also be a representative Black face for young mixed Black kids and girls. Now I’m also saying mixed because I’m that myself, but it'd just be good to get more representation out there. My biggest dream as a child was just to see someone who looks like me in this Western world.

RC: Do you think that would have helped you when you were younger in Germany?

LH: For sure! That said, I’m also extremely privileged because I’m light skinned. Knowing that, It’s very much like standing in between two worlds especially when I’ve only grown up with one side. I’m always thinking I’m not white enough or not Black enough and trying to find an in-between. So with the book, I wanted to acknowledge that you can be as many different parts of yourself as you want to be

RC: You don’t have to choose.

LH: Exactly, you don’t need to choose!

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