#And Dr. Roy Boss

[cozza-frenzy]

Just a small sample of some of the alters currently in our system. Wherever possible, these were drawn either by the alters themselves, or with co-conscious input from them - sharing our front at the same time as me, Terry. Things have been very hard for us lately. But I look at these pictures, and I see us. I see our weird, wonderful, happy family, and I know we've survived worse than this and we'll survive whatever else comes our way, too. It's ironic that we're stronger together when separated but... such is life, I suppose. 30 years of trauma finally catching up to us, 30 years of memories finally coming back to us, and we're all along for the ride. It was horrific abuse and trauma that made us like this. But we get to decide what our future is.

[wokeuplaughing]

I feel like the reason my opinions on solid snakes games versus the games with big boss at the center differ in the way they do is because the ultimate tragedy within the games where solid snake is at the center is largely independent of each other. there are definite elements of tragedy primarily with otacon (sniper wolf, emma, naomi, the common misogynistic theme is there of course) but those character's deaths do not compare to a character like the boss, whose death is profound because the tragedy of her death is still addressed both metaphorically (the result of her death) and directly (the feelings towards her death.) creating an allegory between liquid snake and her for a moment but the result of liquid's death (liquid ocelot) is the center of the narrative but the only one who views it from a personal standpoint is snake so a lot of the metaphor for what he represents relies on snake's perspective. so all of this being rambled off I think the way tragedy is facilitated in games like mgs1 and mgs4 do not compare to the tragedy of mgs3 and peace walker because of the way characters are utilized within the narrative.

[hotvintagepoll]

this is a poll for a movie that doesn't exist.

It is vintage times. The powers that be have decided to again remake the classic vampire novel Dracula for the screen. in an amazing show of inter-studio solidarity, Hollywood’s most elite hotties are up for the starring roles. the producers know whoever they cast will greatly impact the genre, quality, and tone of the finished film, so they are turning to their wisest voices for guidance.

you are the new casting director for this star-studded epic. choose your players wisely.

Previously cast:

Jonathan Harker—Jimmy Stewart

The Old Woman—Martita Hunt

Count Dracula—Gloria Holden

Mina Murray—Setsuko Hara

Lucy Westenra—Judy Garland

The Three Voluptuous Women—Betty Grable, Marilyn Monroe, and Lauren Bacall

The Agonized Mother—Mary Philbin (rip)

Dr. Jack Seward—Vincent Price

Quincey P. Morris—Toshiro Mifune

Arthur Holmwood—Sidney Poitier

R.M. Renfield—Conrad Veidt

The Captain of the Demeter—Omar Sharif (rip)

The First Mate of the Demeter—Leonard Nimoy (rip)

Mr. Swales—Ed Wynn (rip)

The Correspondent for The Daily Graph—Ethel Waters

Dracula in dog form—Frank Oz with a puppet

Sister Agatha—Angela Lansbury

Mrs. Westenra—Gladys Cooper

Dracula's solicitors—Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee

Dr. Van Helsing—Orson Welles

Mr. Hawkins is Jonathan's kindly boss, who makes him partner and leaves everything to him in his will. I'm sure the will part is not relevant to the story and does not indicate his imminent demise.

[insufferableprotagonistpoll]

Please note that a character currently needs at least 3 submissions to make it into the poll

That said:

Has 3 Submissions or more:

Achilles - The Iliad

Adrien Agreste - Miraculous Ladybug

Alexander Hamilton - Hamilton

Batman - DC

Blitzo - Helluva Boss

Charlie Morningstar - Hazbin Hotel

Claire Fraser - Outlander

Clary Fray/Fairchild - Shadowhunters

Daphne Bridgerton - Bridgerton

Dean Winchester - Supernatural

Dr. Heinrich Faust - Goethes Faust

Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way - My Immortal

Edward Elric - Fullmetal Alchemist

Elena Gilbert - Vampire Diaries

Feyre Archeron - A Court Of Thorns And Roses

Frasier Crane - Frasier

Gray Wing - Warrior Cats

Holden Caulfield - The Catcher in the Rye

Jimmy - Mouthwashing

Joker - Persona 5

Kirito - Sword Art Online

Kohaku - Dr. Stone

Makoto Itou - School Days

Marinette Dupain-Cheng - Miraculous Ladybug

Navier - Remarried Princess

Nesta Archeron - A Court of Thorns and Roses

Quentin Coldwater - The Magicians (books)

Scott Pilgrim - Scott Pilgrim

Tim Jackson Drake - DC

Tom Paris - Star Trek: Voyager

Victor Frankenstein - Frankenstein, or the Modern Prometheus

Yukitero "Yukki" Amano - Future Diary

Has 2 Submissions:

Animal Crossing New Horizons' Player Character - Animal Crossing New Horizons

Arthur Pendragon - BBC Merlin

Bakugou Katsuki - My Hero Academia

BEOWULF - BEOWULF

Bloom Peters - Winx Club

Claire - Ship It

Dawson Leery - Dawson’s Creek

Duck Dodgers - Duck Dodgers in the 24 1/2 century

Eikichi Onizuka - Great Teacher Onizuka

Elizabeth - Bioshock Burial at Sea

Elric of Melniborne - The Elric Saga

Emiya Shirou - Fate Stay Night

Eren Jaegar - Shingeki no Kyojin

Ezra Bridger - Star Wars Rebels

Hazel Lancester - The Fault In Our Stars

Jack Torrance - The Shining

James Bond - James Bond

Jaune Arc - RWBY

John Proctor - The Crucible

Odysseus - The Odyssey

Oliver Armstrong - Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood

Peppa Pig - Peppa Pig

Piper - Orange is the new Black

Rhaenyra Targaryen - House of the Dragon

Riley Matthews - Girl Meets World

Roy Musang - Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood

Sasuke - Naruto

Sheldon Cooper - Big Bang Theory

Shen Qingqiu (Shen Yuan) - Scum Villain’s Self Saving System

Snow Villiers - Final Fantasy 13

Wade Watts - Ready Player One

William Afton - FNaF Ultimate Custom Night

Zack Morris - Saved by the Bell

Has 1 Submission

Ahsoka - Ahsoka Disney+

Ahsoka Tano - Star Wars: The Clone Wars

Akiyama Shun - Ryu Ga Gotoku/Yakuza

Aragorn - Lord of the Rings

Arek - So This Is Ever After

Ataru Moroboshi - Urusei Yatsura

August Landry - One Last Stop

Ayin - Lobotomy Corporation

Beatrice "Tris" Prior - Divergent

Betty Cooper - Riverdale

Bill Dickey - The Eltingville Club/Welcome to Eltingville

Billy Buddy/Dr. Horrible - Dr. Horrible's Sing Along

Billy Hatcher - Billy Hatcher and the giant egg

Black Star - Soul Eater

Blake - Pokemon Adventures Black 2 and White 2

Bubsy - Bubsy 3D

Caleb Widogast - Critical Role

character Tommy - Dream SMP

Charley Pollard - Doctor Who

Charlie - Charlie's Inferno - That Handsome Devil

Choromatsu Matsuno - Osomatsu-san

Claire Danvers - Morganville Vampires

Clear Sky/Skystar - Warrior Cats

Colin Bridgerton - Bridgerton

Corrin - Fire Emblem Fates

Cory Matthews - Boy Meets World

Dal - Star Trek Prodigy

Damian Wayne - DC

Damon Salvatore - The Vampire Diaries

Daniel X - The Dangerous Days of Daniel X

Data - Star Trek The Next Generation

Dorrigo Evans - The Narrow Road to the Deep North book

Doug Eiffel - Wolf 359

Drizzt Do'Urden - Legend of Drizzt

Dr. Hanna Heath - People of the Book

Ellison Oswalt - Sinister

Emma Nelson - Degrassi: The Next Generation

Equality 7-2521 - Anthem

Frankie Landau Banks - The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau Banks

Galadriel Higgins - The Scholomance Trilogy

Geralt of Rivia - The Last Wish, The Witcher books

Go Siwon - A Guy Like You

Hamlet - Hamlet

Haruto Kirishima - A Town Where You Live

Haruyuki Arita - Accel World

Heathcliff - Wuthering Heights

Hermione Granger - Harry Potter

Homer Simpson - The Simpson

Howard Roark - The Fountainhead

Humbert Humbert - Lolita

James Bond - The Sean Connery James Bond Movies

James Holden - The Expanse book series

Jaypaw - Warrior Cats

Jean-Luc Picard - Star Trek The Next Generation

Jeff Winger - Community

Jim Hopper - Stranger Things

JJ - Cocomelon

Joaquin Monegro - Abel Sánchez

Jon Snow - ASoIaF

Jotaro Kujo - Jojo's Bizarre Adventure

Joy - Inside Out

Jughead Jones - Riverdale

Kade - Down to Earth Webtoon

Kazuya Tsukasa - Kamen Rider Decade

Kai - The Witch King

Kang Jinha - A Guy Like You

Katara - Avatar the Last Airbender

Katnis - Hunger Games

Kaz Kaan - Neo Yokio

Keiichi Maebara - Higurashi when they cry

Kelsier - Mistborn

Khai - Theory of Love - Thai BL Show

King Arthur - King Arthur: Legend of the Sword (2017)

Korra - Avatar: Legend of Korra

Koyomi Araragi - The Monogatari series

Kun-chan - Mirai

Lelouch Lamperouge - Code Geass

Leroy Jethro Gibbs - NCIS

Lily Blossom Bloom - It Ends With Us

Lionblaze - Warriors (Power of Three and Omen of the Stars)

Luna - Retro

Luffy - One Piece

Lyn - Fire Emblem

Makoto Naegi - Danganronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc

Mal - Firefly

Manaow - Love Senior

Mark Watney - The Martian

Mary Poppins - Walt Disney's Mary Poppins

Merlin - BBC Merlin

Meursault - The Stranger

Mia - La La Land

Michael Burnham - Star Trek: Discovery

Mike Wheeler - Stranger Things

Miyo Sasaki - A Whisker Away

Mordecai - Regular Show

Nancy Botwin - Weeds

Natsuki Subaru - Re:Zero

Nick Carraway - The Great Gatsby

Nicole - Class of 09

Nightheart - Warrior Cats

North Italy - Hetalia

Okajima ""Rock"" Rokuro - Black Lagoon (Anime)

Okazaki Tomoya - Clannad

Okonkwo - Things Fall Apart (Chinua Achebe)

Otis Milburn - Sex Education

Patrick Bateman - American Psycho

Piper McLean - Heroes of Olympus

Pippa Fitz-Amobi - A Good Girl’s Guide to Murder

Ramona Flowers - Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World

Ramsey Snow - Game of Thrones

Rebecca Bunch - Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (TV show)

Remy the Rat - Ratatouille

Richard Cypher - Sword of Truth

Robert Langdon - The Da Vinci Code

Rodion Raskolnikov - Crime and Punishment

Rorschach - Watchmen

Rory Gilmore - Gilmore Girls

Ruby - Max & Ruby

Ryo Saeba - City Hunter

Sabrina Grimm - The Sisters Grimm

Sabrina Spellman - Chilling Adventures of Sabrina

Sami Reese - Little White Lie

Satou Kazuma - Konosuba

Senku Ishigami - Doctor Stone

Serena - Pokemon

Sherlock Holmes - BBC Sherlock

Shiori - Six Crimson Cranes

Shrek - Shrek

Souji Tendou - Kamen Rider Kabuto

Spike Witwicky - Transformers IDW comics

Star Butterfly - Star vs The Forces of Evil

Stiles Stilinski - Teen Wolf

Sydney Atherton - The Beetle

Tai Kamiya - Digimon Adventure

Takao - Garden of Words

Tara Webster - Dance Academy

Tarl Cabot - The Gor Chronicles

Teriella Rufeon - My Husband Changes Every Night

The Beheaded - Dead Cells

Tom Wachowski - The Sonic Movies

Traveller - Genshin Impact

Ukiyo Ace - Kamen Rider Geats

Vanellope von Schweetz - Ralph Breaks the internet

Velvet Crowe - Tales of Bersia

Violetta - Disney's Violetta

Winston Smith - 1984

Wolverine - X-Men

Wreck it Ralph - Ralph Breaks the Internet

Yu/Ai - Final Fantasy Unlimited

Yuri Zhivago - Doctor Zhivago

Yuusaku Godai - Maison Ikkoku

Available for Resubmission (needs at least 1 resubmission to participate)

Aang - Avatar: The Last Airbender

Alex Eagleston - YIIK

Anakin Skywalker - Star Wars

Aquamarin Hoshino - Oshi No Ko

Ash Ketchum - Pokemon

Atsuko Kagiri/Akko - Little Witch Academia

Beca Mitchell - Pitch Perfect

Brambleclaw - Warrior Cats

Coriolanus Snow - The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes

Eragon - Eragon/Inheritance Cycle

Erika Shinohara - Ookami shoujo to kuro ouji

Frank Reagan - Blue Bloods

Gregory - FNaF Security Breach

Harry Dresden - The Dresden Files

Harry DuBois - Disco Elysium

Katarina Claes - My Next Life as a Villainess

Kiris - On the Emperor's Lap

Kvothe - The Kingkiller Chronicles

Kyouya Sata - Ookami shoujo to kuro ouji

Mal - Descendants

Naofumi Iwatani - The Rising of the Shield Hero

Peter Pan - Peter Pan

Pucca - Pucca

Rand al'Thor - Wheel of Time

Rey - Star Wars

Rintaro Okabe - Steins;Gate

Scott McCall - Teen Wolf

Skullduggery Pleasant - Skullduggery Pleasant

Sophie Foster - Keeper of the Lost Cities

Stolas - Helluva Boss

Stuart Little - Stuart Little

The Tenth Doctor - Doctor Who

Tori Vega - Victorious

Wanda Maximoff - MCU

Wei (Ying) Wuxian - Mo Dao Zu Shi

Xander Harris - Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Y/N - Fanfiction

Currently unavailable for a new Round:

Aelin Ashryver Galathynius/Celaena Sardothien - Throne of Glass

Artemis Fowl - Artemis Fowl

Bella Swan - Twilight

Bloom Peters - Fate: The Winx Saga

Bojack Horseman - Bojack Horseman

Caillou - Caillou

Dr Gregory House - House MD

Elsa - Frozen

Evan Hansen - Dear Evan Hansen

Ferris Bueller - Ferris Bueller's Day off

Harry Potter - Harry Potter

Heywood Floyd - Space Odyssey

Izuku (Deku) Midoriya - Boku no Hero Academia

Kazuya Kinoshita - Rent-a-Girlfriend

Light Yagami - Death Note

Meliodas - Seven Deadly Sins

Oscar - Shark Tale

Owen Grady - Jurassic World

Peter Griffin - Family Guy

Rachel Berry - Glee

Richard Rahl - Seeker of Truth/Legend of the Seeker

Robin - Teen Titans Go

Ross Geller - Friends

Ted Mosby - How I Met Your Mother

Tony Stark - MCU

Velma - Velma

Walter White - Breaking Bad

Zoey Redbird - The House of Night

[thetarttfuldickhead]

Roy wakes, fully hard and – two seconds later, when the details of the dream return to him – fully panicked.

Fuck.

---

It’s not like he’s never had sex dreams before. Come on. But none of them had featured men (except that weird one about Lee Pace in a banana costume and that hadn’t left him so much turned on as thoroughly confused) and abso-fucking-lutely not a single one of them had starred Jamie Tartt.

Jamie Tartt, who is now standing right in front of him in the dressing room, saying something about football something something, right Coach, something free kicks, and all Roy can think about is how he now has a very vivid idea of what those lips would look like when wrapped around his cock.

Jamie pushes a strand of hair of out of his eyes. They look grey now; in Roy’s dream they were green-tinting-towards-brown and heavy-lidded with lust as Roy had pushed him back on the bed— 

Roy can’t stand it. Except one very specific part of him apparently can and no, no, fuck no, he’s not doing this. Without a word he turns on his heel and walks away, ignoring Jamie’s surprised objection.

Fuck.

---

Training is a nightmare.

The only way Roy can get through it at all is by not sparing Jamie a single glance. (Jamie running, dribbling, shooting; Jamie turning and twisting, as graceful as water; Jamie with hair damp with sweat and calling out to the others with that eager voice that had called out Roy’s name last night.) It’s really fucking difficult, though, because he’s used to always keeping at least half an eye on Jamie these days, no matter what else is going on. Besides, the prick’s everywhere, rushing around the pitch like the fucking Duracell Bunny on speed. Roy clearly made a huge mistake ever pushing him towards the heights of endurance because the little shit just. won’t. stop. 

Roy’s attempts at avoidance don’t go unnoticed, either. He can feel the eyes of Beard and Nate on him; can see the way the other players look from him to Jamie and mutter among themselves. 

He makes them run suicides until they collapse just to shut them up and when Jamie is the only one still on his feet Roy tells Beard that oh fuck, he has a really important meeting he needs to go to right now, he fucking forgot about it and now he’s running late, could Beard and Nate finish this up please, and of course Roy doesn’t flee from the pitch because Roy Kent doesn’t fucking flee from anything. He walks off rather hurriedly, sure, but that’s just to properly sell the lie of the meeting he’s in a rush to. 

“Yeah, something is definitively up with him and Jamie,” he hears Beard mutter to Nate as he walks off.

Fuck.

---

He withdraws to the supply cupboard where he’s not likely to be disturbed, or found. He’s not hiding, obviously; he just needs a few moments to himself, to gather his wits. He’d drive home, except he actually does have a meeting with Rebecca in a couple of hours, and she is the one person he daren’t piss off. Not because she’s terrifying – although she can be, a fact that Roy respects immensely – but because she’ll know that something is off if he doesn’t show and unlike everyone else she has both the guts and the capacity to force it out of him.

In a farcical turn of events, which he entirely blames on Dr. Sharon (and maybe also on Keeley and Jamie a little, for their absurd and sometimes infectious tendency towards emotional honesty), Roy thinks that maybe he wouldn’t mind talking to someone about this. Maybe it would… help? Give him some perspective on things? 

Problems is, there’s no one he can talk to, is there? Jamie is right out, for obvious reasons, and while this would probably be right up the Diamond Dogs’ alley, there’s no fucking way Roy is telling his fellow coaches and the club’s director of football operations about having a wet dream about the team’s star player. Apart from the utter mortification of it, it’s hardly fair on Jamie, having almost all his bosses discuss him like that. Even if it’s not the real Jamie they’d be discussing, really, just the very bendable and delightfully masochistic Jamie that’s taken shameless residence in Roy’s battered mind. 

He can’t talk to Rebecca, for the same reason, even though he’s pretty sure she’d be able to say something clever enough and cutting enough that he’d snap right out of whatever the hell this is. Maybe she’d declare him clinically insane and unfit for duty and have him carted off to an asylum or some shit, and as much as that would suck it’d be a bit of a relief, honestly. At least he wouldn’t near twist his neck off his shoulders trying to avoid looking at Jamie. 

Jamie would probably come and visit him, the fucking arsehole.

And Roy can’t talk to Keeley, either, because even though she’s probably the best person to bring this to and the person he’d most like to talk to, she’s been clear about having no interest in sorting Roy and Jamie’s shit out for them. Besides, he doesn’t want to somehow give her the idea that he’s over her. He’s not. He had a pretty wild dream about her just the other week, and—

For a brief moment, he’s assailed by the image of Keeley and Jamie tangled on Roy’s mattress, looking up at him with twin smiles and—

In spite of the cupboard being rather chilly, Roy starts to sweat. Desperately, he crosses his legs and forces his mind back to the time when he took a chug of orange juice only for it to be egg yolk and he nearly threw up. 

It doesn’t really help. He’s still turned on, only now he’s feeling sick too. 

He could talk to Dr. Sharon, he guesses, but Dr. Sharon is travelling southern France for the rest of the week.

Roy won’t last that long.

Fuck. 

--- 

The door to the cupboard is pulled open with enough force to almost startle Roy off of the bucket he’s sat on. 

“All right, what the fuck’s going on, man?” Jamie demands, without even having the decency to look surprised at finding Roy hiding hanging out among the mops and micro fibre cloths. “Did you hit your head and forget the last two years or something?”

“Of course not,” Roy mutters, determinedly not looking up from the computer precariously balanced on his lap.

“Then why the fuck are you ignoring me? The lads all think I did something really bad!” There’s a plaintive note in Jamie’s voice, reminding Roy of the noises dream-Jamie had made when Roy— 

Roy closes his eyes. He can’t go on like this. He’s pretty sure that if he could just get a day or two – three or four tops, absolutely no more than five – away from Jamie, away from these constant reminders, the details of the dream would fade away, and his desire with it – but they have a game the day after tomorrow, so that’s not going to happen, and he can’t keep avoiding Jamie until then. It’d be bad for the team – not to mention that he can’t really stomach the hurt he hears in Jamie’s voice.

Nothing for it, then. Fuck it all to hell.

“I had a sex dream,” he grits out, carefully looking to the doorframe right next to Jamie’s face, so that he can catch Jamie’s reactions without having to look him in the eye.

Jamie doesn’t react much, just cocks his head to the side. “You had a sex dream about me?”

“Did I say it was about you, you muppet?!” Conceited prick.

“Uh, no, but it was? You wouldn’t be all weird about it if wasn’t.” Trust Jamie to always choose the worst moments to be insightful and reasonable. He’s doing it just to be contrary, Roy’s sure of it. 

Jamie’s watching him expectantly, as if believing Roy will elaborate or explain further. Roy doesn’t say a word. Roy is busy stonily inspecting a small speck of dirt on the wall next to Jamie’s face.

Eventually, Jamie lets out a long sigh and rolls his eyes. “Fine. What’s the big deal then?” 

Now Roy’s eyes snap to Jamie’s face, because what the hell? “What do you mean, what’s the big deal? You don’t think it’s a little weird and really fucking uncomfortable that I, Roy Kent, had a sex dream about you, Jamie Tartt? I’m your fucking coach! We’re friends!”

Jamie makes a face, like Roy’s being the insane one. “Roy, mate, you’ve seen the wall in my old bedroom. Bunch of half-naked girls and you, right? You never did the math on that?” 

Roy has, in fact, never done the math on that. Hasn’t realize there as math to do. “You were impressed by my prowess as a football player,” he tries feebly.

Jamie rolls his eyes. “Um, yeah. Which is hot.”

“… oh.”

Roy doesn’t know what else to say to that. Doesn’t know how to feel about that. Hasn’t the faintest idea about how to even begin to process it.

Jamie is watching him with a small frown. He looks concerned, pitying almost, which makes Roy want to go throw himself in the Thames more than anything else in this discussion has.

“So,” Jamie says eventually, speaking slowly, like he’s trying very hard to find the right words, “all these years and you never once figured that this whole thing we’ve got going, all this fucking tension, that it was… you know… just a little bit sexual?”

“No.”

“What, never?”

“No.” 

“That’s fucking mental, man.” Jamie looks like he doesn’t know whether to be incredulous or impressed. Then his eyes widen. “Ooh, is this because men getting with other men was illegal when you were a kid back in the dark ages? They burned people alive and shit, so you’re, like, repressed and stuff?”

Roy is about to bite his head off for pulling out fucking stupid ha ha you’re so old jokes now, except there’s something in Jamie’s eyes giving him the distinct impression that maybe Jamie is deliberatedly being a prick, doing it for Roy’s sake, trying to offer him a sense of normalcy or something, and that’s actually quite sweet, isn’t it? Only that thought has Roy’s heart doing something weird and stupid, so actually no, back to Jamie just being a prick.

“We’re in love with Keeley,” he says, and he means for it to be gruff, but it comes out pleading more than anything else.

“Yeah, I know.” Jamie sounds exasperated. “None of this means we ain’t. Fucking hell, mate, tension’s just tension, yeah, no need to fucking act on it if you don’t want to. And dreams are just dreams. I’m mad fit, you see me running around doing impressive shit all day, course you’re gonna dream about me, be weirder if you didn’t. Bet half the team do the same, anyway. It doesn’t have to mean anything.” Jamie crosses his arms, and looks as serious and decisive as Jamie ever does. “Listen, Coach, we’re playing West Ham this Saturday, and you need to stop being weird about this and start coaching me and not freak everyone out.”

Roy doesn’t ask him what Jamie think he’s been trying to do all day. Not his fault Jamie’s been right there, all pretty eyes and strong thighs and distracting lips and shit. But he doesn’t say that; instead, he sighs, because Jamie, infuriatingly, has a point. “Yeah. Okay. But… just give me a fucking minute. Go get changed and I’ll be there in fifteen, all professional and shit.”

“Great. See you then, Coach.”

Jamie turns and as he walks away Roy can’t help his gaze sliding down to Jamie’s arse, noticing the way the blue shorts cling to the round buttocks, leaving little enough to the imagination, only Roy is imagining what they’d look like sans shorts and red from Roy’s fingers and palm, wondering if the reality would match the dream.

Fuck. 

---

Dreams are just dreams. Roy tells Dr. Sharon as much during their next appointment, because even though talking to Jamie helped him pull himself together just enough to muddle through the rest of the week with his sanity mostly intact, he’s still feeling rather rattled by the whole mess. Untethered. 

Jamie’s been brilliant, carrying on as if nothing’s changed between them. Somehow, that hasn’t helped as much as Roy would’ve thought it would. 

Dr. Sharon listens carefully and without judgement, as she always does. “You’ve had dreams before,” she notes once Roy’s fallen silent. “I’m sure some of them have been strange or unsettling. Has any of them ever affected you like this?” 

“No. Like I said, it’s just dreams, right? It’s not real. Shouldn’t affect me. Never fucking does, not even the sexy ones, usually.”

“Right. So why do you think this one was different?”

Roy stares at her. She returns his stare calmly, patiently. Waits, watching him, until he can’t help but catch the shape of it reflected back at him in her kind eyes.

Fuck. 

---

“What if I don’t want it to be just a dream?” 

“Eh?” 

Jamie’s peering at him through the open door, looking like he’s wondering what Roy is doing showing up unannounced and spouting nonsense on his doorstep at half past three on a rest day. 

Which, okay, fair enough. 

“What if I don’t want it to be just a dream?” Roy repeats, a little slower this time. 

For another moment, Jamie just stares at him. Then his eyes widen, lightening up with delight. “Oh! You mean… ?” He gestures between them.

“Yeah,” Roy says and then he’s being pulled into the hallway by his jacket and he has time to think that that they really need to figure out how Keeley fits into all of this and then he has his arms around a body that is firm and solid and there and Jamie Tartt is kissing him and it’s not a dream at all. 

Fuck. Oh, fuck… !

[toxicroyjamie]

Do you think Ted was a good coach?

Oof. Controversy!

This is a loaded question, because if you look at his end results, you can't deny that he's a "good coach" in the sense that he was able to completely turn the team around and take them to the top of the league. He was definitely doing something right!!

However I feel like I can't really call him a "good coach" with my whole chest because he doesn't know ANYTHING about the sport he's coaching, nor does he really seem to make any effort to learn (like, he doesn't understand the offside rule until 3 years after starting the job. Why?) He's certainly good as part of a coaching team, because he's excellent at building relationships and connecting with his players, but he would be nowhere without Beard, Nate, and Roy, because at the end of the day a team just can't be successful if their coaches don't know anything about the strategy/technique of the game.

Also, Ted's expertise is in coaching kids, not adult professionals, and that really shows in how he handles Richmond sometimes. His whole "winning isn't what's important, it's all about teamwork and having fun and being the best version of yourself :)" is a fantastic mindset for, say, the coach of a little league team, but (as Beard points out) not as wonderful for coaching professionals whose whole job is winning. They're not there to have fun and learn the value of teamwork, they're there to win. I get that the return to football as a fun childhood hobby is a theme on the show, and there's nothing wrong with that, but I feel like Ted doesn't always fully understand the gravity of the sport for people who are truly invested, and he doesn't always do a great job of balancing "having fun and growing as individuals" with like. Doing what these men are paid millions of dollars to do.

As a preschool teacher, I think the way Ted handles conflict is also very reminiscent of how adults handle conflict between young children, which is another thing that would make him a fantastic coach for a kids' team but works against him in a professional setting. In s2, for example, rather than just going to Roy as a superior speaking to an employee and telling him to get over himself and coach Jamie because he's a grownup and that's his job, he tries to get Roy and Jamie to talk it out and come to a resolution like they're two kindergarteners fighting over a toy. He was doing Social Emotional Learning on them, and even though it ultimately benefitted them as individuals, it was not the best or quickest way to deal with a workplace conflict like that between two adults. Can you imagine going to your boss like "hey, the person who's supposed to be training me won't talk to me at all or answer any of my questions and I'm kind of lost" and they were like "lol and what do you expect me to do about that? That's on you, I'm not gonna tell him what to do" insanity

TL;DR I think Ted is fantastic with people and that's a huge asset to him in coaching, but I don't think he knows anywhere near enough about soccer to be a bona fide "good coach" of a professional team. I also think the way he handles his players and their conflicts would be an asset to him if he were a kids' coach or a teacher, but sometimes is frustrating and infantilizing when applied to professionals

[danthepest]

So with the Metal Gear Collection out now (of debatable quality), I figured I'd make a short, handy list of the chronological order of these games, and a short summary of what they're about. I'll try to be as vague and spoiler free as possible.

1 - Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater - Takes place in 1964 during the Cold War. CIA operative and FOX unit member Naked Snake is sent to Russia and has to survive the jungle (don't ask, just roll with it) to stop the development and deployment of a new kind of ultimate weapon, the Shagohod. Things are not what they seem and the political machinations of both the United States of America and Russia will have severe repercussions for the rest of the series. Most of all, it will affect Naked Snake and his legacy.

2 - Metal Gear Solid: Portable Ops - Takes place in 1970. FOX has seemingly gone rogue and started a revolt in San Hieronymo. Naked Snake begins to build his own resistance with the help of Roy Campbell. (The game is only available for PSP and while it was touted as a "missing link" between Snake Eater and Metal Gear 1, it hasn't been mentioned or referenced since. Easily skippable.)

3 - Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker - Takes place in 1974 in Costa Rica. Naked Snake and Kazuhira Miller begin building their private military company Militaires Sans Frontières. As they uncover the truth behind the strife in Costa Rica, Snake's past during the Snake Eater incident comes back to haunt him. (Originally a PSP game, it was included in the PS3 HD collection. This was also billed as a "missing link". Up to you if agree. Definitely need to play this to understand the next game.)

4 - Metal Gear Solid V: Ground Zeroes - Takes place in 1975. After the Peace Walker Incident, one of MSF's own people goes to Cuba on a failed rescue mission and Naked Snake goes in alone to retrieve his man and the person he came to rescue. Serves as an epilogue to Peace Walker and a prologue to the next game.

5 - Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain - Takes place in 1984, primarily in Afghanistan. Ten years after what happens in Ground Zeroes, Naked Snake is rechristened Venom Snake and is rebuilding his forces with Miller, naming themselves Diamond Dogs. They prepare to strike back at the organization that has been targeting them for the last 10 years. A startling truth is revealed and strong alliances shatter.

6 - Metal Gear - Takes place in 1995. FOXHOUND unit rookie, Solid Snake is sent into the fortified state, Outer Heaven, to rescue FOXHOUND veteran Gray Fox and discover the secret behind Outer Heaven's nuclear weapon, the Metal Gear, and the identity of its leader.

7 - Metal Gear 2: Solid Snake - Takes place in 1999. Dr. Kio Marv has bio-engineered a new fuel and energy source that would reduce the consumption of oil. Military forces belonging to Zanzibar Land kidnap the doctor, intending to control the world's oil supply and hold the world hostage as well as stockpiling nuclear weapons. New FOXHOUND commander Roy Campbell forces Solid Snake out of retirement to infiltrate Zanzibar Land and rescue Dr. Kio Marv. Solid Snake is forced to face those he once considered friends and mentors.

8 - Metal Gear Solid - Takes place in 2005. FOXHOUND rebels against the US government and takes over the Alaskan island Shadow Moses, which contains a nuclear weapons disposal facility. Among their demands is the body of Big Boss who is considered the greatest soldier that ever lived. They wish to use his genes to create an army of super soldiers. At the behest of the Secretary of Defense, Roy Campbell once again has to ask Solid Snake out of retirement for one last solo mission. Solid Snake is forced to confront who he is, where he came from and what it is he's fighting for.

9 - Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty - Takes place in 2007 and 2009. In 2007, the anti-terrorist organization Philanthropy learns that a new Metal Gear is being transported through the Hudson river and attempt to stop it. They are thwarted by Russian mercenaries and the tanker is blown up as they get away with said Metal Gear.

In 2009, FOXHOUND operative Raiden is sent to infiltrate the Big Shell, a large decontamination facility that has been taken over by a terrorist faction calling themselves the Sons of Liberty. Raiden must neutralize the threat and save the hostages. However, Raiden will soon learn of a conspiracy that dates back to even before the Cold War and begin to question his own existence.

10 - Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots - Takes place in 2014. War has changed. War has become a commodity and has created what is known as the War Economy. Old Snake is tasked with putting a stop to the madness as well as put an end to a personal war that started as far back as 1964. (So far, this is exclusively a PS3 title, but there is hope that it will be released for PC in a further Metal Gear Collection)

11 - Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance - Takes place in 2018. Raiden has made peace with his lot in life and is trying to support his family by working as a military trainer and VIP bodyguard among other things. While protecting a VIP, Raiden is ambushed and utterly defeated by a cyborg that is part of a larger organization. Raiden begins his quest of vengeance and will finally see if he can put his past behind him.

And there you have it! Dunno really what prompted me to do this, but hey, maybe someone out there will find this helpful or interesting or intriguing or whatever.

[solosergiohd]

Solo Sergio Battle Royale: 1992/2002/2012/2022

Rosters

Class Of 2022:

Sergio Limon Ponce

1992:

Kirby

Meta Knight

Aladdin

Jasmine

Jafar

Batman

The Joker

Cyclops

Wolverine

Magneto

Sonic

Tails

Sailor Moon

Scorpion

Sub Zero

Terry Bogard

Mai Shiranui

2002:

Sora

Stitch

Gantu

Ratchet & Clank

Kim Possible

Shego

Dr. Drakken

Numbuh 1

Father

Jimmy Neutron

Shantae

Sly Cooper

Carmelita Fox

Rikochet

The Hacker (CyberChase)

Fox McCloud

Krystal

Sceptile

Blaziken

Swampert

Gardevoir

Ty The Tasmanian Tiger

Spyro

Samus Aran

Meta Ridley

Dark Samus

Naruto Uzumaki

Saskue Uchiha

Sakura Haruno

Kakashi Hatake

Rock Lee

Spider-Man

Mega Man EXE

Roy (Fire Emblem)

Kos-Mos

Kid Muscle

Blinx

Parappa The Rapper

Bomberman

Pac-Man

Starfy

Nightmare (Soul Calibur)

2012:

Wreck-it Ralph

Fix-it Felix Jr.

Korra

Amon

Dipper Pines/Mabel Pines

Stan Pines

Bill Cipher

Jack Frost

Leonardo

Donatello

Raphael

Michelangelo

Shredder

Merida

Pit

Dark Pit

Lucina

Chrom

Mavis Dracula

Jotaro Kujo

Dio

Kat (Gravity Rush)

Tree Rex

Bouncer

Filia

Ms. Fortune

Valentine

Maxwell (Scribblenauts)

Randy Cunningham

Zoe Trent

Chiaki Nanami

Kirito

Asuna Yuuki

Juliet Sterling

Dillon

Asura

2022:

Mr. Wolf

Diane Foxington

Pibby

Cuphead

Mugman

Ms. Chalice

The Devil

Meilin Lee

Charlie & Pim

Puss In Boots

Kitty Softpaws

Death Wolf

Meowscarada

Skeledirge

Quaquaval

Buzz Lightyear

Emperor Zurg

Krypto The Superdog

Edge (Mario + Rabbids Sparks of Hope)

Sash Lilac

Carol Tea

Milla Basset

Loid Forger

Yor Forger

Klonoa

Optimus Prime

Audery Drew & Bendy

Gretel Grant-Gomez

Noah (Xenoblade Chronicles 3)

Mio (Xenoblade Chronicles 3)

Crypto (Destroy All Humans! 2 Reprobed)

Denji

Kao The Kangaroo

Reindog

Gorogong

Thundatross

Final Boss Character Unlocked:

Lardon Demon

2022-2024 (c) Raw Thrills, Inc

Characters (c) Universal Studios / Nintendo / HAL Laboratory / Disney / DreamWorks Animation / SQUARE ENIX CO., LTD / Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc. / Adult Swim / StudioMDHR / Sucker Punch Productions / Player First Games / Insomniac Games / Nickelodeon / DC / Cartoon Network / Marvel / SEGA / WB Games / SNK CORPORATION / WayForward / PBS Kids / Pokémon / Creatures Inc. / GAME FREAK inc. / Krome Studios / SHUEISHA INC. / CAPCOM CO., LTD / INTELLIGENT SYSTEMS / BANDAI NAMCO Entertainment Inc. / MONOLITHSOFT / Microsoft / Artoon / NaNaOn-Sha / Konami Digital Entertainment Inc. / Pixar Animation / Sony Pictures Animation / Activision / Skybound / Hasbro / CAPCOM U.S.A., INC. / Ubisoft Entertainment / GalaxyTrail / TheMeatly Games / THQ NORDIC / Passion Republic Games

[morally-grey-girlbosses]

Bracket is up! Matchups are in text form under the cut. Reminder that all of these matchups were chosen randomly, and that this bracket will be run in a double elimination style, so a character failing out in round one does NOT prevent them from proceeding into the tournament.

Ursula Boulton (Merge Mansion) vs. Betty Grof (Adventure Time)

Evelyn Wang (Everything Everywhere All At Once) vs. The Coin / Boss (Blaseball)

Morgan Le Fay (Fate) vs. Edelgard Von Hresvelg (Fire Emblem: Three Houses)

IMOGEN (Stellar Firma) vs. Amalexia (Elder Scrolls)

Maeby Funke (Arrested Development) vs. Manon Blackbeak (Throne of Glass)

Taylor Hebert / Skitter (Worm) vs. GLaDOS / Caroline (Portal)

Cleo DeNile (Monster High) vs. Nico Robin (One Piece)

Helen Richardson / The Distortion (The Magnus Archives) vs. Calanthe (The Witcher)

Irving Braxiatel (Thieves & Tardises) vs. Nefera DeNile (Monster High)

Alina Starkov (Shadow & Bone) vs. Lady Barbrey Dustin (A Song Of Ice & Fire)

Eclipsa Butterfly (Star vs. the Forces of Evil) vs. Jennifer Check (Jennifer’s Body)

Moira O’Deorain (Overwatch) vs. Captain Jack Sparrow (Pirates of the Carribbean)

Iron Maiden Jeanne (Shaman King) vs. Artemis (Greek Myth)

Tomie Kawakami (Tomie) vs. Dame Obsidian (Murdle)

Rachel (Animorphs) vs. Juri Han (Street Fighter)

Shego (Kim Possible) vs. Asajj Ventress (Star Wars)

Tabitha Scarlet (Scarlet Hollow) vs. Morte Asherah (Sands of Destruction)

Theresa (Fable) vs. Morgana Pendragon/Le Fey (BBC Merlin)

Nailgun Sue (IRL) vs. The Witch (Into the Woods)

Chara / The Fallen Human (Undertale) vs. Nimona (Nimona)

Klaasje Amandou (Disco Elysium) vs. Margot “gottiewrites” Garcia (An Unauthorized Fan Treatise)

Prince Ianthe Naberius the First, the Lyctor Prince, the Saint of Awe, previously known as Ianthe Tridentarius, the Princess of Ida, heir to the House of the Third, Mouth of the Emperor, the Procession, House of the Shining Dead (The Locked Tomb) vs. Baru Cormorant (The Masquerade Series)

Anna Croft (Omniscient Reader’s Viewpoint) vs. Sailor Galaxia (Sailor Moon)

Ms. Pauling (Team Fortress 2) vs. Lady Alcina Dimitrescu (Resident Evil)

Charlie Magne/Morningstar (Hazbin Hotel) vs. Vriska Serket (Homestuck)

Willie Jack (Reservation Dogs) vs. Gretchen Klein (The Wilds)

Rachel (Tower of God) vs. Galadriel (Lord of the Rings)

Charlie (Don’t Starve) vs. Pomegranate Cookie (Cookie Run)

Rose Quartz / Pink Diamond (Steven Universe) vs. Filo (Shield Hero)

Tokiko Shigure (Ai: The Somnium Files) vs. Sandy (TokiDoki Cactus Friends)

Shion Sonozaki (Higurashi When They Cry) vs. Banica Conchita (Evillious Chronicles)

Mima (Touhou) vs. Yūko Ichihara (xxxHolic)

Yuno Gasai (Future Diary) vs. Laerynn Coramar-Seelie (Critical Role)

Riza Hawkeye (Fullmetal Alchemist) vs. Granny Weatherwax (Discworld)

Catherine Earnshaw (Wuthering Heights) vs. Susie Haltmann (Kirby: Planet Robobot)

Lae’Zel (Baldur’s Gate 3) vs. Starlight Glimmer (My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic)

Dr. Frank-N-Furter (Rocky Horror Picture Show) vs. Angela (Library of Ruina)

Miranda Vanderbilt (Monster Prom) vs. Jinx (Arcane / League of Legends)

Rose Thorburn Jr. (Pact) vs. Eva (Umineko When They Cry)

Empress Phillipa Georgiou (Star Trek) vs. Shiv Roy (Succession)

Paige Duplass (The Silt Verses) vs. Akua Sahelian (A Practical Guide to Evil)

Poison Ivy (DCEU) vs. Nickel (IDW Transformers)

Joyce Messier (Disco Elysium) vs. Reagan Ridley (Inside Job)

Kalina (Fantasy High) vs. MegaGirl (Starship)

Sloane Parker (Eidolon Playtest) vs. Power (Chainsaw Man)

Marcille Donato (Dungeon Meshi) vs. Raiden Ei / Beelzebul (Genshin)

Patty Bladell (Insatiable) vs. Remy “Thirteen” Hadley (House MD)

Tanya von Degurechaff (The Saga of Tanya the Evil) vs. Fang Runin (The Poppy War)

Nomi Malone (Showgirls) vs. Han Sooyoung (Omniscient Reader’s Viewpoint)

Wu Zetian (The Iron Widow) vs. Lariska (Bionicle)

Teresa Agnes (Maze Runner) vs. Emma Perkins (Hatchetfield Series)

Lucrecia Mux / Maligula (Psychonauts) vs. Nadja of Antipaxos (What We Do In The Shadows)

Akako Koizumi (Magic Kaito) vs. Junko Enoshima (Danganronpa)

Blackberry (Chicory: A Colorful Tale) vs. Malva (Pokemon)

Vermouth (Detective Conan) vs. Kumoko / Shiraori (So I’m a Spider So What)

Eleanor (Do Revenge) vs. Bryony Halbech (Red Valley)

Asuka Langley Soryu (Neon Genesis Evangelion) vs. Terezi Pyrope (Homestuck)

Leliana (Dragon Age) vs. Archbishop Rhea/Seiros (Fire Emblem: Three Houses)

Grimora (Inscryption) vs. Anthy Himemiya (Revolutionary Girl Utena)

Audrey Redheart (Wandersong) vs. Kyoko Sakura (Puella Magi Madoka Magic)

Fujiko Mine (Lupin III) vs. O-Ren Ishii (Kill Bill)

Anne (WOE.BEGONE) vs. Gwendolyn Poole (Marvel Comics)

Lappland Saluzzo (Arknights) vs. Avrana Kern (Children of Time)

Harley Quinn (DCEU) vs. Cassandra Jones (Rise of the TMNT)

Faith Lehane (Buffy the Vampire Slayer) vs. Rosalyne-Kruzchka Lohefalte / La Signora (Genshin Impact)

Revan (Star Wars) vs Rue Kuroha / Princess Kraehe (Princess Tutu)

Eve (The Bible) vs. Prospera Mercury (Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch From Mercury)

May Angelica Jones Goodwin (It Takes Two) vs. Elle Williams (The Last of Us)

Marina (Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas) vs. Naksu / Mudeok (Alchemy of Souls)

Patrick Bateman (American Psycho) vs. Sucre (OFF)

SHODAN (System Shock) vs. Cocolia (Honkai: Star Rail)

Alana Bloom (NBC Hannibal) vs. Halea Haumea (Phantomarine)

Delirium of the Endless (The Sandman) vs. Arcee (IDW Transformers)

Morganthe (Wizard 101) vs. Wu Zetian (History)

Jude Duarte (Folk of the Air) vs. Miranda Pryce (Wolf 359)

Perihelion/ART (The Murderbot Diaries) vs. Kanamori Sayaka (Keep your Hands off Eizouken!)

Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum (Adventure Time) vs. Anais Watterson (The Amazing World of Gumball)

Croix Meridies (Little Witch Academia) vs. Lady Macbeth (Macbeth)

Harrowhark Nonagesmius (The Locked Tomb) vs. Big Mama (Rise of the TMNT)

Katherine Pierce (The Vampire Diaries) vs. White Gladys the Orca (IRL)

Doctor Carmilla (Doctor Carmilla & the Mechanisms) vs. The Handler (Umbrella Academy)

Catra (She-Ra & The Princesses of Power) vs. Liliana Vess (Magic: The Gathering)

Jasnah Kholin (Stormlight Archive) vs. Liraz (Daughter of Smoke & Bone)

Lilith Clawthorne (TOH) vs. Medea (Greek Myth)

Odin (The Bifrost Incident) vs. Enma Ai (Jigoku Shoujo)

Mordred (Fate) vs. Nana Daiba (Revue Starlight)

Beatrice (Umineko When They Cry) vs. Hester Shaw (Mortal Engines)

Balalaika (Black Lagoon) vs. Any Female Praying Mantis (IRL)

Veronica Sawyer (Heathers) vs. W (Arknights)

Angelica Pickles (Rugrats/All Grown Up) vs. Eleanor Guthry (Black Sails)

Asha Rahiro (Kubera One Last God) vs. Willow Rosenberg (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

The Administrator (Team Fortress 2) vs. Shadowheart (Baldur’s Gate 3)

Noi (Dorohedro) vs. Leopardstar (Warrior Cats)

Sue Miley (Your Turn to Die) vs. Beatrix Kiddo (Kill Bill)

Juliette Cai (These Violent Delights) vs. Rat God (Mad Rat Dead)

Petra Solano (Jane the Virgin) vs. Kycilia Zabi (Mobile Suit Gundam)

Franziska Von Karma (Ace Attorney) vs. Monika (Doki Doki Literature Club)

Anne Boleyn (History) vs. Cinder Fall (RWBY)

Kokomi Teruhashi (Disastrous life of Saiki K) vs. Major Margaret Houlihan (M*A*S*H)

Mrs. Lovett (Sweeney Todd) vs. Enyo (Granblue Fantasy)

Claudia (Interview with the Vampire) vs. Essun/Syenite/Damaya (Broken Earth Trilogy)

Lady Eboshi (Princess Mononoke) vs. Lady Maria of the Astral Clocktower (Bloodborne)

Entrapta (She-Ra & The Princesses of Power) vs. Ilsa Faust (Mission: Impossible)

Princess Azula (Avatar: The Last Airbender) vs. Dahlia Hawthorne (Ace Attorney)

Samantha Groves / Root (Person of Interest) vs. Charlotte “Lottie” Matthews (Yellowjackets)

Shanoa (Castlevania) vs. Sally Reed (Barry)

Evil Lynn (He-Man) vs. Makima (Chainsaw Man)

Mabel Pines (Gravity Falls) vs. Raphaella La Coginzi (Doctor Carmilla & The Mechanisms)

Edalyn Clawthorne (The Owl House) vs. Yennefer of Vengerberg (The Witcher)

Toriel Dreemurr (Undertale) vs. Monaco (Hetalia: Axis Powers)

Elizabeth Swann (Pirates of the Carribbean) vs. Vala Mal Doran (Stargate)

Wanda Maximoff (MCU) vs. Adelina Amouteru (Young Elites)

Mapleshade (Warrior Cats) vs. Amy Dunne (Gone Girl)

Gertrude Robinson (The Magnus Archives) vs. Hornet (Hollow Knight)

Homura Akemi (Puella Magi Madoka Magica) vs. PearlescentMoon (Double Life SMP)

Lady Bone Demon (Lego Monkie Kid) vs. Annabeth Chase (Percy Jackson Series)

Jung Sun Ah (Devil Judge) vs. Muu Kusonoski (Milgram)

Romanadvoratrelundar (Doctor Who) vs. Electra (Starlight Express)

Rouge the Bat (Sonic the Hedgehog) vs. Akane Kurashiki (Zero Escape)

Wen Qing (The Untamed) vs. Yubel (Yu-Gi-Oh)

Ponyo (Ponyo) vs. Renata Glasc (League of Legends)

Aubrey (OMORI) vs. Menou (The Executioner and Her Way of Life)

Olivia Octavius (Into the Spiderverse) vs. Anna Limon (Mabel)

HG Wells (Warehouse 13) vs. The Shapeshifter (Odd Squad)

Miles “Tails” Prowler (Sonic the Hedgehog) vs. Isabella (Promised Neverland)

Riley Grace Davis / Bonesaw (Worm) vs. The Fairy Godmother (Shrek 2)

Misty Quigley (Yellowjackets) vs. Nami (One Piece)

Olivier Mira Armstrong (Fullmetal Alchemist) vs. Lucretia (The Adventure Zone: Balance)

[cozza-frenzy]

Systober Day 18 - Most Eccentric Alter - Roy (He/It/Dark) HELLO! Don't be shy, come on now - pull up a chair, don't mind the various ray guns and deadly lasers. I don't judge whoever decides to set foot in my lair; not unless they're pointing at me and uttering something idiotic like "Stop, you foul fiend!", in which case I immediately start looking for a carefully concealed lever to pull... ...Where was I? Ah yes; haven't you ever felt just a little bit wicked? A little bit dastardly? Haven't you ever wanted to rip off your pathetically normal skin, and reveal it was all but a disguise for the cackling fiend that lurked deep within your heart? Haven't you ever wanted to throw back your head with maniacal laughter while lightning strikes, bats take flight, tubes of green stuff bubble, and somewhere in the background something explodes? Well we did, and that's what gave rise to me; Dr. Boss to my enemies, or Roy to my friends, of which I have surprisingly many! I'm our repressed interest in the creepy, gross and outright bizarre. I'm the part of us that snuck book series like Cirque Du Freak and Goosebumps under the bedsheets, who desperately wanted a Doctor Dreadful Freaky Food Lab for Christmas, who loved monster finger puppets, rubber spiders, and gummi bugs full of bursting jelly. I'm a lot more than that besides, of course. I'm our anger holder; helping to keep thoughts of violence and revenge away from those who might become distressed - or worse, act on them. I'm our inner world's physician; I treat sick and injured alters, make sure the body's minor injuries and illnesses get proper treatment, and talk to doctors on our behalf. I'm a proud adoptive father to Trillian, have two wonderful partners, and I make a damn good chocolate lava cake. But even in a "Kill The Cook" apron I am still a villain, of course - and if you cross me, I'll become the one in your story. Now; since you're here, would you care to peruse our extensive catalog of mutagenic serums? They come in both stable and unstable variants, and your choice of five fruity flavors! - Roy

[peraltiagos-paper-rings]

My thoughts on the ways in which Rebecca could become a mother:

Miracle pregnancy via Dutch boat house guy……..0/10 honestly I just think including a rape storyline in this pretty wholesome show would be gross and unnecessary, also it’s pretty clearly shown that Rebecca’s fertility doctor told her she wouldn’t be able to get pregnant

Miracle pregnancy via someone else…….meh it would seem rushed at this point unless they did a timejump in the finale where she has kids with someone idk, and again her fertility doctor told her she can’t have kids. 1/10 but also 0/10 if she gets pregnant by sam let’s not bring that back thanks

Something happens to Sassy and she adopts Nora. 3/10 I don’t really want anything to happen to Sassy 😭

She gets together with Roy’s sister and becomes a stepmother to Phoebe. ehhh 5/10 we don’t know Roy’s sister so this would feel kind of random but I guess it’s not the worst option

She gets together with Roy and becomes aunt/mother figure to Phoebe - 2/10 this just seems unlikely and weird to me lol and also I need my Roykeeley endgame

Something happens to Roy’s sister and she adopts Phoebe…1/10 lmao she doesn’t know Phoebe or Roy’s sister and this just wouldn’t make sense, if anything happened to Roy’s sister surely Roy would get custody of Phoebe.

She gets with Trent’s ex-wife and becomes stepmother to the Crimmlet - uhhhhh 3/10 idk again this would just seem kind of random and like we’ve only got 4 episodes left and we haven’t even met either of these characters

Something happens to both Trent and his ex-wife and she adopts the Crimmlet - 2/10 this seems random and illogical much like the idea of her adopting Phoebe and also I don’t want anything bad happening to Trent lol

She becomes a mother figure to the team or to certain members of the team - hmmmm 4/10 idk I love me some found family but she isn’t that much older than most of them and she’s their boss and I don’t think there’s ever been any indication that any of them see her as a mother figure (and idk why they would just start to now??)

She realises that she is basically a mother figure to Nora - 8/10 love Nora and this would be cute for her to realise that she doesn’t have to have kids of her own to be like a mother to someone

She gets with Ted and becomes stepmother to Henry. 10/10 this is the best option out of all of them tbh, not sure how likely this is to happen though because if they wanted to hint at a possible motherly bond they could have had her interact with Henry last episode so idk

She gets with Michelle and becomes stepmother to Henry…4/10 would love for Michelle to dump Dr Jake’s ass but I don’t think the writers would throw together 2 characters who have never interacted and also Rebecca wouldn’t do that to Ted 😤

She gets with Bex and becomes stepmother to Diane. 6/10 they haven’t really interacted but I would love to see Bex leave Rupert and cut him out of her and Diane’s life 🥰

She adopts Diane…5/10 would love for Rupert to die but don’t really want anything to happen to Bex, she hasn’t done anything to deserve that

She adopts some random new child. 7/10 I guess this is fine and cool I don’t see a massive problem with this

of course there’s also the possibility that the psychic was lying or a fraud, which would seem like a bummer ending tbh and also they’ve been heavily hinting that there is something to what she’s saying (with the green matchbooks and the being upside down and wet thing) so…yeah I think that would just disappoint the audience if they just went “no she was wrong and that didn’t mean anything lol”

[givemeuniversalcrossovers]

Mario Sunshine remake/Sequel where its a canonically few years on from the last sunshine game and Bowser Jr is a bit older and a bit bigger and hears that the Mario and Princess are going back to the island on holiday and goes huh, well, I'm bigger. I think I'm gonna get that Mario.

And thus plans to kidnap Princess Peach again to try again because he's gotten bigger he's got a bigger ego big man syndrome but he's not dumb he recruits his siblings too because hey potentially fighting / messing with Mario AND warm holiday fun times. I feel like Wendy would love it like yes relaxation Sun and fun. So they go to cause mayhem, Bowser probably knows they're up to something since they all just leave but eh, they'll holler if they need help they're getting older he trusts they'll be okay, maybe sends Kamek to spy/for updates he doesn't wanna be a helicopter parent but also wants to see how well they do and be ready to leap in and help if necessary. It'll mean that each area likely has a Koopalings boss or two so fun spicing it up from last time with obviously some old bosses thrown in.

They don't realise though that Luigi got sent in advance as bait pretending to be Peach arriving early blacked out plane windows guards with umbrellas to hide the 'princess' from view ect, just in case of a repeat of last time/bowsers shows up so at least if they do cause problems the Princess can be kept out of the way as Mario arrives to fix things. So the Koopalings show up and go to the hotel demanding for the Princess' room, don't question the fact they're given her room number no problem and go and grab 'her' hastily tied up gagged and in a sack or something. Poor Luigi was probably just out/was going in the shower getting dressed/not yet undressed (no nakey weegie here) and the steam obscured the Koopas vision and so he got snagged.

And thus game begins Mario has to go save his brother who was kidnapped, recollecting suns in the process ect like a good person since the Koopalings probably screwed with them too and paint absolutely everywhere with probably color coordination/pattern coordination to each Koopa so you can guess who's in which level like pink hearts for Wendy, crazy multicolor swirls for i believe Larry or iggy whichever the hyperactive one is ect. At some point in the game there's a cutscene of the Koopalings all enjoying the steamy warm flying jacuzzi, some nursing wounds after a beat up from Mario and probably Wendy maybe Roy Roy strikes me as empathetic is like hey it kinda feels unfair to have Peach tied up in a sack in a floating cage while we enjoy the hot water, maybe we should let her out for a bit? And after some debating Jr mentioning that well she didn't want to join him and dad last time they agree cause like they all kinda like momma Peach even if they know she's not really their mom they're more here for fun than malice so it feels right to let her enjoy the warm water and drinks with them. Ludwig waves his wand and the cage floats down and they open it taking off the sack and, "LUIGI???" They're all fucking stunned cause???? The green one??? What?? Where's Peach?? How?? When?? Ludwig did you mess up your magic and swap them??? Promptly starting a major uproar argument between all the siblings over who cocked this up big time. Luigi is just eehhhehe. He's very awkward. At one point one of them is like well I mean sometimes hes there when beating dad this might stall Mario for a bit, plus we can always still get Peach later and that'll be two captives over Mario. This settles them as they murmur agreements and Ludwig magics more drinks which definitely helps ease over the mood, they're probably drinking pg safe coconuts with straws no tropical island drinks here if you get my drift they're probably not old enough to drink alcohol XD. One of them puts Luigi on the floating duck in the middle of the water so he can't escape and puts a drink in his tied hands adjusting the knots so he has enough mobility to lift it to drink from the straw.

Meanwhile Bowser? Absolutely cackling losing his shit laughing at his kids rookie mistake of not questioning the lack of resistance. He loves his kids but he is gonna laugh at the cock up. But he is proud they're doing well despite that but he's on the throne wheezing and has dented his arm rest from banging his fist down in laughing hysteria.

Another cutscene later in the game, Luigi still on the duck drinking coconut drink as Ludwig complains to him about something maybe his siblings not appreciating music as Luigi nods his head understandingly. Every so often there's a cutscene with a Koopaling just kinda talking to Luigi while he floats on his duck it's for character building and just funny imagining him just stuck duck floating around as the kids talk to him. Maybe at one point he's actually in the water floating on his back while Junior floats beside him also on his back like "I just worry ill never surpass my dad you know? Like, I'll always just be Junior. A smaller Bowser. A shadow of my father's glory." and Luigi balancing a coconut drink on his stomach is like "Hmm. I knowa what you mean." just lmao bonding floating about together, "Illa say you're definitely a lotta more scary then you were, youra growing into your own person with your owna style. Working witha your siblings very clever." and Junior scoffs and is like "It's nothing my dad's never done we've always helped him." and Luigi counters, "But, youra helping eacha other, Morton has beena here twice healed up went backa out there, Ludwig hasa boosted Wendy and Lemmy witha magic already fora rematches. Thata will be keepinga Mario on his toes. Workinga with other bosses too, tricky stuff, you have good ideas." just lmao being nice he knows what it's like to be in a shadow and he is kinda terrified and impressed by juniors game plan with the Koopalings being able to swap back recharge swap back in. Plus he doesn't know if the Koopas temper will shift so genuine compliments and peace keeping so he's not drowned.

This game definitely is probably longer and harder with the kids getting stronger and coming back for more but eventually they'll reach their limit unable to go back to fighting. In cutscenes they'll be seen sat out the water or in the water with bandages looking too tired to go back and fight. The end fight is likely with Junior at the jacuzzi his siblings tho tired lend some help making it very difficult but their attacks are infrequent and slow. Maybe Bowser shows up probably right at the end after beating junior but I don't think he'd join the end fight/be a final surprise boss, the kids did a good fight but they've lost and he doesn't think they'd want him jumping in stealing their fight so he shows up as the escape assist and they all escape to dad cause ya know a good future king knows when to retreat. And like you get Luigi back the kids noticeably waving bye to him Junior saying "I'll see you next time Luigi! And I'll get you Mario!!!" as Luigi shyly laughs cause oh no what has he started. Ends happy Peach arrives they all enjoy their holiday, though Luigi absolutely passes out at his hotel room on his bed as he's thoroughly holidayed out. Mario and Peach walk the beach together into the sunset chatting and laughing.

Cut to bowsers Castle of kamek helping heal the kids up while Bowser absolutely lovingly laughs at and bullies his kids for the hotel mix up and junior is very embarrassed before Bowser scoops him into a playful noogie saying "I couldn't be more proud of you!" and Junior just??? "but we failed to get peach??" and Bowser laughs and is like "you think /I/ succeeded the first time I tried?? It went horribly wrong and blew up in my face! You actually kidnapped someone, Mario was terrified and you all planned to raise the stakes if given the chance adapting to the situation. You did really brilliantly." just tells his kids how good of a job they did but also laughs and is like "oh the old wrong hotel room trick" wiping his eye from crying laughing. Let him lovingly rib on his kids XD bullying is a love language.

[29625]

Blade Runner/Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? AU.

Blade runner/replicant! Slider x Blade runner Maverick.

Contains a bit of NSFW discussion and huge spoilers of both works.

This is a sort of mish-mash of both the movie adaptation and the original novel. While Deckard is clearly a human in the original while coded as a replicant in the Final Cut version of the film. The interesting thing about Deckard is the difference in his character in the novel and the film. While Deckard in the novel is portrayed as very…human, overtly showing distress, desire, anger and jealousy, the film depicts him being colder and less human, almost like a replicant himself as he does his job. (He, a supposed “hero” shoots a female replicant from the back—in that day and age!)

I also LOVE to see his respective characterization getting mixed; Slider being his jokey self while struggling to make sense of his identity, or Maverick slowly getting more and more protective of his partner along the way. In addition, the novel features another blade runner/bounty hunter called Resch—who Deckard suspects to be an andy/replicant (and I honestly LOVE his character. The scene where he gets so defensive about being an andy that he overkills an android? GOD.) In this AU, I’ve set Slimav as partners in “retiring” replicants, as in the collaboration between Deckard and Resch in the novel—with a twist. A romantic twist in the same fashion of Deckard/Rachael in the movie. Sex to restore each other’s blurred, messy identities. A kiss to make sure they are there, together. Confusion and affection. Anger and passion. Desperation mixed with equally intense desire for each other’s touch and comfort.

The deal is, Slimav but Blade Runner. The Tyrell Corp.—now we have Dr. Charlotte Blackwood! (I love Charlie. I will let her explore my body like WTF girl!!!! Ur gorgeous and educated and everything!!!!!!!!!! Leave that man!!!!!!!!!!). She is the one who created the Nexus 8–Slider, that is—with an implanted memory, reduced/more human-like stamina, reproductive capacity, and no expiration date assigned. The Nexus 8 promises, as she claims, the next-gen of human race—and Slider is the pilot version of the series. She and her team want to test his capabilities while also flying under the radar of the authorities, particularly when there’s a group of rebel replicants lingering around. So she contacts LAPD and Maverick and “offers” to “lend” another blade runner to do the job. Of course Slider has to take the VK test because why not. Why not let them experience that sexual tension.

The rebel replicants? We’ve got Mr. Iceman (Roy Batty). I’m still thinking about how to cast other replicants but Iceman as Roy just makes sense to me. In the novel, it is implied that Rachael and Pris (who is Roy’s partner in the film but just an accomplice in the novel) are created using the same mold, looking identical to one another while being different in their positions/classes. I’m usually a IceSarah shipper (and I will DEFINITELY write them in the future!!!) so whether to cast Sarah as Pris or as Zhora (who’s also got an important, very magnificent role in both the novel and the film; cornering Resch to the edge of identity crisis in the former and making Deckard question his job and his affection towards Rachael in the movie) is the biiiig question for me. Who knows? Maybe we can go batshit crazy and make it Slimav AND Slice!

Also, maybe this is a hot take but Charlie/Carole (as J. F. Sebastian in the film). An unhinged genius who only truly loves her creations that are replicants and an equally unhinged engineer who is devoted to fulfilling her boss’s desire. C’mon, I believe she can pull off that awkward yet somewhat eerie vibes while making it cute.

And Gaff. Do you know who plays Gaff in this scenario? Goose. That’s it. I said what I said. I love how Gaff treats Deckard like his dog in the film, hitting him with his cane and turning a blind eye at his betrayal almost whimsically. Dark Goode lovers rise up. Rise up and make the tension turn all the way up.

[strangesmallbard]

i do hesitate to end shiv criticism with acknowledgment of her privilege. obviously no one has to empathize with shiv roy personally—once you break away from the Aristotelian drama, it’s really hard to empathize with a woman who covers up sexual assault and just made 3 million dollars from that deal—but her positionally reveals the lie capitalist patriarchy sells, and white cishet women often eat up. by further acknowledging shiv’s marginalization in her own cultural context, we can better understand white supremacy, misogyny, capitalism, and power.

for example: the baby. white supremacy needs more white, able bodies. according to the white supremacist belief system, these babies come from white, able-bodied cisgender heterosexual women (the only true women to people who ascribe to this belief system.) a woman is a wife and a womb. she derives all her power from her husband and her children. in the usa, power and capital are synonymous.

logically, shiv should be able to wield her considerable privilege (money) to break the glass ceiling. but she can’t. logan infantilized her; even though he could logically realize she was the ideal heir, she would always be his little girl. tom never could stomach his subservient role; that was bound to explode, eventually. her brothers sexualize and demean her; even though they love her, they would never accept her as the boss.

in s4, shiv tries to use mattson, only to be used in turn. mattson logically knows shiv is smart and capable, but most of all, he wanted to fuck her. any respect derived from his attraction to her; when he realizes she’s pregnant with another guy’s baby, he loses this respect. he’s also super fucking weird about women and doesn’t like when they’re powerful. shiv knows this information, and thinks she can play it smart enough to come out on top. but the heterocapitalist patriarchy swings the hammer, and shiv has to rely on the husband she once controlled for power, in the end. (and we cannot victim blame here—again, you don’t have to empathize with shiv to understand how everything went down.)

tl;dr - shiv roy can use her own considerable capital to gain power, but not ultimate power nor respect. even if she did win the job, she’d have to contend with misogyny tenfold. she’s the kingmaker and never the king. her brothers elected a fascist for president and her husband is in charge of her father’s company. we cannot diminish the role of kingmaker in reifying these harmful systems, but we can examine its many nuances to learn more about them.

[dolphs-world]

Polar Pass ~ Finally, the Ideal Roster

Excluding what I have already discussed, there are 16 characters I would change. Starting with 3rd party characters and the Ultimate DLC: Crash/Cortex for (and Coco/Nina because I got rid of Chrom because I got rid of Roy) Pyra/Mythra and Rayman for Min Min. I have already gone over these characters but I'll add some more points. We already had Shulk representing Xenoblade, we did not need more. No one cares about Arms and replacing Min Min with Rayman makes a lot of sense due to reach of their limbs. Throughout this list a lot of replacements are going to be with some similar (and also a lot won't be). For other 3rd party reps I have taken out all of the Mii fighters. The Mii fighters are lame and the Wii series of games was already represented by Wii Fit Trainer, who is a character I don't like to play as but is a very unique addition to the roster. Instead I put in Professor Layton and Bomberman, because I love Professor Layton and I love my friend who suggested Bomberman, and Raiden. Not from Mortal Kombat, although another good choice, but from MGS. MGS kicks ass and I think a tactical super soldier guerilla warfare guy works against a robotic ninja. There needs to be more unique weapon based characters in Smash like spearmen, bombers, and cybernetic ninjas. Raiden is the second most unique character and star of his own game and that's why he's in. For Pokemon: Gardevoir for Jigglypuff, Smeargle for Pichu, and Oshawott for Roy (haha). You can keep Mewtwo, I understand how important they and that first Gen of Pokemon are. Keeping along with replacing Melee characters, Eggplant Man for Dr. Mario and Krystal for Falco. Capitalising on the Mario Movie and the fact that Wrecking Crew already has a stage in smash, and is much better than all the other one off games on NES, is why Eggplant Man is in. Krystal has an ice spear and Falco is mean. Fox, Krystal, and especially Wolf are also way more sexy than Falco. Last two 3rd party reps: Tetris for Isabelle and Eggman for Bowser Jr. . I'm sorry, Isabelle is still lame and Tetris is the best selling game. I do not have to defend myself here. Eggman? Why him above the rest? Simple, everyone else is too much like Sonic. Same thing with MGS, why put in The Boss or Liquid Snake when Raiden is really unique? Tails, Knuckles, Shadow? Too much like Sonic. Eggman is the most distinct and a good replacement for Bowser Jr. who relys on tech. Also, despite making up a lot of villains in platformers, there's not a single mad scientist in Smash (except for Cortex now but shhh). It's Eggman! Now, I'm sorry Mario/Yoshi/Wario, I'm sorry Metroid, I'm sorry Pikmin. No new reps for you. Paper Mario, Shy Guy, Ashley, Chozo, Bulborb. All great choices, the honourable mentions, but I don't think anyone else deserves more reps as bad as Zelda. Darunia for Young Link, Midna for Toon Link, Hestu for Robin, and Tingle for Corrin. Hey, did you know, FE has only sold twice as much as Pikmin? Did you know FE's best selling game has sold a comparable amount to the best selling Pikmin game? I understand, numbers isn't causal to influence and Metroid has similar sales to FE. But 6 is too many. Zelda deserves them WAY more. But why these characters? They are a good representation of species or beloved or really weird. Gorons and Koroks are really cool and show how much more there is to Zelda than elves and a Captain Falcon Clone. Midna is the best companion in any Zelda game. And Tingle is Tingle! There you have it, a roster that gives Zelda and Pokemon its do credits, has very a reasonable amount of 3rd party reps, gives a little more to MGS and Sonic, and shows off a more interesting side of Nintendo's history. The Ultimate Showdown.

[eyesonstars-feetonground]

Ted Lasso 3x12: Why the Finale Felt a Bit Hollow

I genuinely think the only way to end Ted’s arc was to have him return to Henry. There’s no world in which he would ask his son to move across the world to him, much less not return to him. And so much of Ted’s pain is centered around being far from Henry. In a way, being a parent does really overshadow every other part of your life...some are saying Ted has gotten reduced down to just his fatherhood, but the point is that for him, and for a lot of parents, your child is your number one priority even if there’s a thousand more things on the other side of the scale. Henry needs him, and Richmond doesn’t, so there’s no way to justify the distance that Ted himself admits he keeps partly because he’s afraid of when Henry will leave him. It is beautiful that he can be confident now and take up the space he deserves in Kansas, in his son’s life. I hope Michelle gets it together, and hopefully that scene with Dr. Jacob being an asshole is what that’s about. 

I will read a hundred fics about Ted staying with Richmond to soothe the pain, and I’ve been rotating it in my mind all day. I also don’t particularly ship anyone but Roy and Jamie, so Ted’s ending isn’t about that for me. 

However, what really bugged me is that it seems like the show is treating Ted moving away to Kansas as if he will literally never talk to or see these people again, as if he didn’t involve himself with Henry’s life as much as possible from an ocean away. Why would the inverse not hold true with his other family, with his platonic soulmate and best friend(s) and pseudo child?? I am definitely buying into the dream sequence theory at the end bc otherwise that is what really pushes this into sad territory for me...why would he not be a part of those memories, those futures to come, as a friend and family member?

It seemed like the show couldn’t decide, like Ted was checked out of all of these emotional goodbyes where other people tried to tell him over and over again that they loved him and wanted him, without showing deep sadness or telling them to visit or giving a rambling Ted story. I’m hoping that’s because it’s a huge life change, but not one that moves him to sadness, because he’ll continue being there for them, and they’ll continue being there for him. 

I would have loved some reassurance though...Ted promising to call every day at Biscuits with the Boss time...Rebecca giving him a permanent airfare ticket so he can be flying in and out all the time, bringing Henry with him! Ted going to Richmond games whenever he can, Ted remembering birthdays and going to the book release and taking up space when the Higgins get everyone together. Ted showing back up with Henry, Sleepless in Seattle style, being greeted by Rebecca and the rest of the team to spend weeks and months back in his other home. Ted getting FaceTimed for advice about relationships and promotions and girl talk and the Diamond Dogs group chat and how to make a Richmond charity or women’s team or kid’s outreach program (best way to make Rebecca a mom in my opinion). Ted being a consultant bc Rebecca refuses to take him off the payroll until they win the whole thing, Ted being loved by the fans and journos even from afar, even years later. Ted being happy to be in London as a tourist with his son, with all that wonder and joy and optimism now that he can resolve the ache of both of his lives being one life! And vice versa, Rebecca and Beard constantly visiting, dragging Keeley or Roy or Nate with them, the players spending off season learning about Kansas and playing with Henry, celebrating holidays together !! The fans who now own 49% of the club being ok with some of its budget being “wasted” just making sure Ted and the team continue to be with each other in some way. Ted visiting and being greeted by all the people he talks to during his morning routine as if he never left. 

I just hope that he’s not cutting himself out of his community. It is about you, Ted. It is. 

Hope he creates a beautiful, whole life in Kansas (ideally in my mind he coaches a women’s soccer team there and then eventually moves back to Richmond to coach their women’s soccer team like years in the future, once Henry is an adult), but also continues therapy enough to know that he isn’t Mary Poppins!! He’s a Dorothy that loved Oz, he’s a Maria that deserves the Von Trapps. He’s the main character, he’s not a magical mentor type. He has immensely wealthy people who love him, he can make it work both ways. Some of the money that could have been his salary can instead be his travel and phone bill money. 

It’s a dream sequence not only because it had some truly unrealistic stuff in it (Jane and Beard getting married at Stonehenge, Rebecca meeting Dutch man despite the magic of their story being its ephemeral nature, Jamie with his dad, Trent taking out so much of Ted from the book cover/title after he said he wouldn’t change anything) but because, for me, the only part of the finale that was truly disappointing was the regression of Ted thinking he exists only to make those moments possible for others, with no place for himself within them. 

In a finale that didn’t really feel like an ending (in a good way!), where so many storylines didn’t get resolved because the point is that the characters will keep growing and changing and evolving beyond what we see of them, because now they have the tools to do that, I can’t Believe that the one hard ending we got was Ted’s life with Richmond. So I won’t.