#Amsha and Richard's A++ parenting

[walkingstackofbooks]

Too many DBIP feelings! #1

I rewatched DBIP yesterday and a few things really struck me that either hadn't before or that I'd forgotten. This then became far longer a post than I'd imagined, so I've ended up splitting it into 5 different (much shorter!) ones. Part 2: Richard's arguing tactics Part 3: Amsha's manipulations Part 4: Their 'apologies' Part 5: Their disregard for Julian's wants

Part 1: Richard's insecurity over Julian's enhancements

Over time, I've come to assume that this was more in my head than in canon. But not, it's right there on the screen and it makes me furious. A long time ago, I mused that Julian's image of himself as "unnatural" might have come from the unknowing, offhand comments of playground bullies, but actually... from these conversations, I think Richard himself could well have described Julian's intelligence as "unnatural" during his childhood.

"We're not as bright as he is. We don't have your gifted intellect so we can't see the perfectly obvious." "You're so smart. You know so much that you can stand there and judge us. But you're still not smart enough to see that we saved you from a lifetime of remedial education and underachievement!"

He just cannot stand Julian being able to hold his own in an argument. His own intelligence is such a point of pride that he cannot allow his son to be smarter than him, despite him literally desigining Julian that way. He claims that genetic enhancements are nothing to be ashamed of - that, if anything Julian's "a little more" human for them - yet he's constantly putting Julian down for using his intellet in any way that Richard disagrees with. ("You could've done research back on Earth. I told you that five years ago." AS THOUGH JULIAN DIDN'T KNOW THAT.)

[unopposablethumbsao3]

Okay okay okay the thing Garak and Julian fight most about once Julian's on C-Prime is the fact that Garak insists on framing Julian's augmentations as a reason he's superior to other humans and Julian gets really pissed about the eugenics of it all (none of the Cardassians understand this)

It finally comes to a head after Julian's spent more than twenty four consecutive hours in the clinic, he's performed seven surgeries in that time and saved six lives, he's fucking wrecked and Garak tries to help by pointing out that without the augmentations he couldn't possibly have saved even that many and instead of shouting at Garak or storming off to clear his head, Julian just starts sobbing inconsolably

And now Garak has to deal with the fact that even if he can't understand how Julian feels about his augmentations, he has to respect it and also now he's going to have to do some very fancy footwork to make it up to him

[unopposablethumbsao3]

This is the garashir dynamic though

the purpose of friends is to have people who unconditionally hate your shitty exes & relatives. like maybe YOU have a complex relationship with your father but i sure don't. i'm outside his house with a gun. he's not the unforgivable asshole who raised me he's just an unforgivable asshole

[sarking]

10 things for 10 people you’d like to know better!

tagged by @serenabenson

last song: Friday is kind of a blur, so I'm not actually sure. On the radio during one of the attempts to get home from the vet, I know I heard a Taylor Swift song from 1989 (or was it Lover? or both?) and that incredibly annoying Sabrina Carpenter song (narrow it down less, I know). I also heard an early 2000s era Fall Out Boy song (not Sugar, We're Going Down, but I can't remember what) playing in the back at the vet's office. I think the Fall Out Boy song was last because I was not in the mood for the radio on the way home the second time. (It's fine; one of the kittens had a vaccine reaction and we were barely home before I had to scoop him up and take him back for some steroids and benadryl.)

last book: The Mermaid of Black Conch. I have been reading it since July 15. So that's how that's going. I should go back to The Things They Carried, which I started reading during the Bush (dubya) administration.

last movie: Does Martha count? And the number of times I think about it every week is not going down. She tries to sell me kitty litter and I think about her relationship with her father. I have to prune my black raspberry bushes and I think about her moving into dilapidated houses. I watch the news and I think about how someone should arrange for her and Hillary Clinton to get five minutes in room with James Comey. I see an add for that Lumi deodorant and I think about her talking about going to the gynecologist before going to prison. Do you see. It does not stop. Martha, Martha, Martha.

last tv show: Did I watch DS9 last night before bed? Maybe? If not that, SVU.

favorite color: Yellow.

sweet, savory, or spicy: Can I mix the sweet and spicy, please? (I had Chili Honey Garlic Salmon Bowls for dinner, except in plate form.)

relationship status: Single.

last thing i googled: The title of the book I read to make sure I wasn't missing a word and Comey's first name, tbh. Before that, AVP to DFW flights.

current obsession: Garak/Bashir. Or more specifically, Garak and Bashir and their parents. How did Enabran Tain and Amsha and Richard Bashir, operating in different cultures and from different motivations, manage to fuck up their kids in such a way that they'd be perfect for each other? How much would they hate it? And can I get 125k of slow burn fake dating to piss off the Bashirs during an unwanted visit, only for Tain to show up on the station and complicate matters dramatically?

looking forward to: The green shelves were outside the home improvement store the other day and had a big "Bonnie plants coming soon" sign hanging on them, so I am looking forward to plants. Also, to the flower on my split rock opening. (I bought it with the flower; I am not good at keeping split rocks alive.) To wearing shorts, or at least not a winter coat and dark colors. To setting up the pool and wearing the bathing suits I got for Christmas, even though I have forgotten what they look like. To the fact it will be daylight even later tomorrow than it was today.

tagging: @malkaleh, @peapods42, @winged-mammal, @momentia, @jesidres, @catelyngrant, @missparker, @funkasarusrex, @programmedradly, @zz9pzza

[bijoumikhawal]

I am #projecting but Amsha and Richard are both exactly the kind of parents to tell their kids shit like "never write anything down you don't want seen by a judge" and to have like. Extended conversations about that nature of outsider perception and decontextualization SPECIFICALLY to maintain control over their kid

[cucumbermoon]

Star Trek is awesome for exploring all the ways that people can be bad parents. I don’t say that facetiously; I mean it. There are a lot of ways to screw up as a parent, even when you have the highest hopes and the best intentions, and Star Trek explores that topic with depth and finesse.

I can not stress enough that in Star Trek, Amanda Grayson being an incredibly loving wife AND shitty parent is a feature, not a bug. She loves Sarek with her whole heart. And as much as she loves Spock, every single time she has to choose between them, she'll back Sarek. Spock grew up knowing his mom loved him, but that she also did not understand him and would never have his back.

Before people in the mainstream even had the vocabulary to describe what they were seeing, they understood on a gut level that Spock was a neurodivergent, mixed race adult son of two incredibly charismatic and successful parents.

There are so many layers of relatability here.

A surprising lot of people in very loving and devoted marriages aren't great parents. An unsurprising lot of powerful people with prestigious careers also aren't great parents.

Folks who grew up with parents who were great at their jobs and devoted to one another but who just couldn't relate to or understand their kids could see themselves in Spock. Moreover, he demonstrated that if they took a path radically different from what their parents wanted, they could become incredibly successful and even well liked in a whole different sphere.

Most of all, for folks who could see how much their parents adored one another but never felt like that love extended to them, there is something profound in the way Kirk looks at Spock like he hangs the stars in the sky. He's a source of hope that even if you grew up as your family's ugly duckling, if you get out from under their influence you can find someone who will perceive you as a swan.

[walkingstackofbooks]

Too many DBIP feelings! #3

Part 1: Richard's insecurity over Julian's enhancements Part 2: Richard's arguing tactics Part 4: Their 'apologies' Part 5: Their disregard for Julian's wants

Part 3: Amsha's manipulations

Oh, she's just awful. First off, it was really noticeable how much she forces Julian to hug or touch her -- the first scene in Sisko's office, in particular, when he's so clearly uncomfortable.

And then she tries to make herself into this mediator, but she's not a good one. She loves Richard -- she talks about his stacks of drawings like their endearing, she's very affectionate with him, and while she will say something if she thinks he's going to far, I don't think it's necessarily because she disagrees with him, but because she knows how he said it will send Julian away. But she also is, in a way, happy to make out that Richard is the "bad parent" to keep her position as the neutral, loving parent intact. She makes Richard 'apologise', she takes none of the blame for the genetic engineering -- once again, I am going to call this behaviour gaslighting. Amsha is constantly manufacturing this image of her own reasonableness and love for Julian as opposed to his father's tendency to fly off the handle, and this is supposed to absolve her of any reponsibility she has for neglecting Julain's needs.

In my view, Amsha only interested in making Julian return her "love" for him (and to a lesser extent, Richard's too). In that second conversation, she initially makes a small plea for him to "listen to his father" (causing Julian to physically move away from her hand on his shoulder) -- and then allows them to continue with their argument, until it gets to the point where Julian implies they're both unloving. Her anger clearly takes Julian aback; she's the one here who attacks his feelings as unreasonable and makes him back down into silence. And then her entire argument is all about her feelings. To paraphrase: "Watching you struggle made me feel bad."

Then she says this: "You can condemn us for what we did. You can say it's illegal or immoral or whatever you want to say, but you have to understand that we didn't do it because we were ashamed, but because you were our son and we loved you."

i.e: "I know you think it was wrong, and I'll even let you say that, but you are not allowed to think that we don't love you."

And if Julian has to believe that his parents' motive was their love for him, then, actually... is he really allowed to condemn them? Or is that just lip service, again, to make Amsha sound reasonable and accommodating?

[worflesbian]

reverse unpopular opinion..... worf as a father/his relationship with alexander :)

ZOE. you knew exactly what you were doing sending this to me thank you SO much <3

i genuinely believe that worf and alexander's relationship is a really strong storyline and one of the best examples of a less-than-perfect parent/child dynamic in star trek. i've talked a lot about how worf was put in an incredibly difficult position suddenly becoming a single parent in early next gen, and i think his various ensuing failures towards alexander are realistic and accurate to his situation, and give insight into his flaws as a character (i.e. the stuff of compelling tv). the fact that worf seeks deanna's help throughout the following seasons is a crucial indication that he doesn't want to be failing his son the way he is, but the way he often ignores or struggles to follow her advice is, as mentioned, a realistic depiction of how people don't change overnight. by the end of next gen, episodes like firstborn show how much worf has changed for the better as a parent -- he's not perfect, but he's trying, and over the years it's paying off. and i Love how painfully true to life that is!!

this is why i used to resent that alexander was so absent from ds9 - i felt like things were finally looking up for their relationship at the end of next gen, and then the ds9 writers wrote alexander out again. however, i actually just rewatched way of the warrior this morning and it kind of changed my mind when miles asks about alexander and worf says that he's "much happier living with his grandparents on earth" - it's the kind of line that seems innocuous but has SO many implications when you dig into it! worf doesn't realise that he's fucking up by abandoning his son because he genuienly believes that alexander is happiest when he's not with worf. it's the root of worf's parenting struggles from the start: he's so scared of failing that he can't bring himself to confront the ways he's actually failing. which again is painfully true to life!

i think the thing i love most about their relationship is alexander's return in sons and daughters. i've talked a lot about that episode but i just can't think of another time on star trek where they've shown a child confront their parent with their failings and how awfully they've hurt them and show not only the process of that parent realising what they've done, but the genuine apology and reconciliation that follows. i think alexander gets the kind of admission of guilt and acceptance of consequence from worf that odo deserved, but could never realistically get, from dr mora, or julian from richard and amsha bashir. i love it because it shouldn't be on alexander to step up and confront his father, but a lot of things have happened to the both of them that shouldn't have, and it's so important to me that they show it get messy, that they show worf really lashing out at his own son, before they show the reconciliation. that combination of real hurt and real accountability is what makes them, in my opinion, the best depiction of this kind of dynamic in any trek show i've seen.

[youngpettyqueen]

Miles calling Julian 'Jules' one (1) time is probably a writing fuck up and yet it lives rent free in my head 24/7 and its gotten to the point where I do need to write a super niche fic about my hyper specific headcanons about how that comes about that maybe 2 other people would read

I have visions of a Rascals-esque episode where Julian gets de-aged due to a time anomaly or some fuckshit but unlike Rascals Julian is just fully a 5 year old. no memories of his adulthood or anything. pre-augmentations, pre-enhancements, pre-everything little Jules Bashir is now on the station and they've gotta deal with it. and I mean, who better to care for Jules than Miles and Keiko- who are both very good parents, and also they've dealt with this sort of thing before

this entire thing is self-indulgent on every level because I want an excuse to get into my really specific headcanons with Julian and disability. like we know I hc Julian as being audhd. but as a kid, as Jules, I think he was non-verbal. I also think he had dyspraxia. he doesnt name anything when he talks about what he was like pre-augmentations, he keeps it vague, and leaning into that I think Miles would only have a vague idea of what to expect when interacting with Jules, and he finds himself completely unprepared for what Jules is actually like. and also trans Julian supremacy and I dont think he really tells people he's trans so Miles is also not expecting Jules to be a 5 year old girl

I imagine Miles is maybe expecting Jules to be very similar to Julian and to be very chatty and extroverted, but more awkward, and maybe just not understanding a lot of things. instead, Jules doesnt speak beyond a few words and vocalizations. she moves constantly, but its mostly fidgeting and stimming- she doesnt like to walk, and shes very clumsy and bumps into things and falls down a lot. Miles and Keiko spend most of the time carrying her around on their hips, like they would Molly. she doesnt like being around lots of people, and is very easily overwhelmed. they figure out very quickly that shes a very good hider, because she scares the absolute shit out of them when she takes off and it takes a solid 3 hours to find her

they do figure things out pretty quickly. she gets overwhelmed by noise easily, so Miles has some headphones replicated for her- smaller versions of the ones he has for ear protection. Jules communicates mostly through body language, pointing at things and smacking things and grunting a lot, but they cant figure out what she means. Keiko roots through her old school supplies and gets Jadzia to turn a PADD into a communication device. Jules absolutely fucking LOOOOVES the PADD and they make a strap for it so that she can carry it everywhere. turns out shes very inquisitive- shes constantly using the PADD to ask 'whats that? what's that? what's that?' about basically everything

the thing they have the hardest time with is that things dont stick easily for Jules. Miles and Keiko are answering the same questions over and over, but she just cant retain a lot of what shes taught. she gets things mixed up a lot, and is confused easily. she cant read at all and has a hard time figuring out what pictures are depicting. the PADD is very helpful, but also very basic with visuals, because Jules just cant comprehend words or more complex visuals. she gets frustrated really easily and cries, and its really hard to calm her down. she has a lot of sensory issues and cant communicate exactly what upsets her about how things feel, leading to a lot of trial and error, and several thrown utensils and spilled plates and bowls

still, Miles and Keiko handle it all. Jules feels safest with Miles and clings to him a lot. he does a lot of his work during this time with Jules in one arm, her headphones on, big curious eyes watching him work. but, in the evenings, when Jules is tired, she curls up close to Keiko on the couch, and Keiko strokes her short hair, while Jules runs her hands over the soft material of Keiko's skirt. Jules and Molly get along- they dont play together, but Molly will read little stories to Jules, and makes silly voices that make Jules laugh. Jules is so gentle with Kirayoshi- she won't hold him, but she gently strokes his hair, and hums at him, and Keiko recognizes the lullaby shes trying to echo

sure, she isnt the easiest child. but at the end of the day, accommodating her isnt the hardest thing Miles and Keiko have ever done. Miles thinks back to how Julian described himself as a kid, thinks about the fuss his parents made about how they couldnt deal with the guilt and heartbreak of watching their child fall behind. he thinks of after that, Julian quietly wondering if maybe his parents were just trying to make things easier for him. maybe they did have good intentions. he's wondered the same thing himself. maybe in their own way, they thought they were doing the right thing

he's thinking about this while he's holding Jules, curled up against him and asleep. he's barely slept these last few days, he's about at wit's end trying to handle all of this, he misses his Julian and he wants him back. but when he looks at Jules, theres no resentment. he isnt even annoyed. she drives him up a wall, but shes a kid- thats her job in life. as for the cognitive piece, well. they can figure all that out if they need to. he laughs at himself a bit- thinking ahead about Jules' future already, those dad instincts kicking in. doesnt hurt to be prepared, he tells himself. just in case

it occurs to him, as he's dozing off himself, that genetic enhancement and DNA re-sequencing dont cross his mind. not once. and when he looks at Jules with tired eyes, feels the peaceful rise and fall of her back under his hand, he finds that he cant imagine himself doing it. cant imagine taking this child in, and telling people how to cut and paste and re-arrange her DNA. he cant imagine wanting to make her into anything but the child she already is. he cant imagine thinking that she was so difficult, so far behind, that she had to be changed into an entirely different person. he loves Julian, he wouldnt change Julian for anything, but he finds himself loving Jules, too. he wouldnt change her, either. not a single thing

Keiko sees the anger behind his eyes when they put Jules to bed for the night. she asks him about it after they shut the door. Miles stands at the door for a moment, thinking about that little kid inside that he cant save from what's to come. and he just tells Keiko- "Richard and Amsha Bashir can go to hell."

[walkingstackofbooks]

I always figured that if his parents were ableist in the 2370s, them being homophobic isn't such a massive leap. Especially with his dad being so obsessed about Julian being his "legacy" - I can imagine them wanting him to have a wife and "proper" children of his own no matter what modern medicine is capable of.

"it doesn't make any logical sense for julian to have hang-ups about being queer in the 2370s" is an objectively, factually correct take.

but I need julian bashir to have just bare minimum enough internalized homophobia for 'one of your girls' to be a garak pov garashir song

[walkingstackofbooks]

Too many DBIP feelings! #5

Part 1: Richard's insecurity over Julian's enhancements Part 2: Richard's arguing tactics Part 3: Amsha's manipulations Part 4: Their 'apologies'

Part 5: Their disregard for Julian's wants

I feel like the previous points have covered this to an extent, but there's a big one which, previously, I've managed to overlook.

At the end of the second conversation, Amsha, in all her reasonableness, finally seems to start listening to Julian. She's shared her feelings, assured him they love him, and asks him "What do you want to do?", to which he, of course, responds with a weary "Nothing".

AND THEN THEY COMPLETELY DISREGARD THIS.

AND THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE THE BASIS FOR JULIAN'S FORGIVENESS OF THEM?!

I mean, luckily for Julian, it worked out. But they had no basis to assume that Sisko could do anything, and they had no right to go behind Julian's back in the way that they did!

And this is something I've said before, but I also HATE how it's framed that Richard is going to prison "in exchange" for Julian's career. Why should Julian have to bear any of the responsibility for Richard going to prison, when it was Richard's choice to do something illegal that carries a prison sentence? But as it is, Julian would presumably be portrayed as unreasonable if, after this 'sarifice', he didn't forgive his parents and 'accept their love'. Gahhhhhhh. It's just another, horrible manipulation -- and while I don't believe his parents had that much power over how it played out, they must have been going into Sisko's office with some sort of similar agenda on the cards.

["He pleads guilty to illegal genetic engineering and in exchange you stay in the service."

Writing this post, and thinking about this quote, has started me wondering how exactly the conversation went down, because "I'll come quietly if you let him stay in Starfleet" isn't exactly a flex. Unless, of course, Richard has threatened to make this a very embarrassing, public, courtroom drama for Starfleet if the plea deal isn't made -- exactly the type of fuss Julian explicitly didn't want.

I know that Sisko's very good at making his case, and it might all have been his influence. But I can't help wondering if that was the only reason "Richard pleading guilty" would be seen as a good enough reason to acquit Julian, when whether he did or not, they now have evidence of his wrongdoing.]

[undeadcalico]

TW: eugenics and ableism

I think it’s really important to bring up things about Amsha Bashir aside from her involvement in Julian’s genetic engineering.

Amsha has a tendency to placate and excuse when Richard hurts or upsets Julian and I’m glad this is shown in the show, but I wanted to address and talk about it more.

What his parents did to him and the way Richard handles Julian’s grief about having been genetically modified is easier to tell when it comes to ways Julian has been harmed. A more subtle form of harm is having a parent defend or change the subject when the other parent says or does something harmful, without even acknowledging or trying to understand the child’s feelings or thoughts about the situation.

Scenes from Doctor Bashir, I Presume?

Richard: “Despite what the authorities would like us to believe, genetic engineering is nothing to be ashamed of. You’re not any less human than anyone else. In fact, you’re a little more.”

Amsha: “We didn’t come here to start another fight. Let’s just, try to get through this.”

Richard equates societal standards of intelligence with what makes someone more or less human, and there’s the implication that he saw Julian as less human before they had him modified. This was brushed off by Amsha and she wasn’t upset with his comment, she just didn’t want there to be another argument.

Amsha: “You don’t know. You’ve never had a child. You don’t know what it’s like to watch your son… to watch him fall a little further behind every day. You know he’s trying, but… something’s holding him back. You don’t know what it’s like to stay up every night worrying that maybe… it’s your fault. Maybe you did something wrong during the pregnancy, maybe you weren’t careful enough, or maybe there’s something wrong with you. Maybe you passed on a genetic defect without even knowing it. You can condemn us for what we did, you can say it’s illegal or immoral or whatever you want to say, but you have to understand that we didn’t do it because we were ashamed. It was because you’re our son, and we loved you.” (argument ends and Amsha hugs Julian)

I’m aware she does love Julian and didn’t intend to hurt him. It’s fair for Amsha to feel distressed about raising a disabled child. It’s difficult, society is often unaccepting, it’s hard to find resources, many teachers and even doctors are dismissive and non-understanding, etc. (does not make the genetic modifications done on Julian ok, but it is ok to struggle and be distressed about things)

But Julian was talking about how their decision to change his brain to the point where they essentially killed the son they originally had greatly harmed him. He was talking about how they decided he was worthless and wouldn’t amount to much, if anything, at 6 years old.

At the same time, Richard was continuously defending him and Amsha’s decision and belittling Julian for feeling the way he did about the situation. Amsha didn’t say anything about this. Even if she was afraid to intensify the argument, she could have acknowledged or validated Julian’s feelings in some way, but she didn’t. She continued helping Richard in defending their actions, although she was nicer/more polite about it.

Just wanted to discuss this aspect more in detail, since it’s shown but not really addressed in the episode

[walkingstackofbooks]

I definitely don't think ADHD's a stretch, and potentially bipolar too, yeah. I could quite easily see him refusing to seek out treatment to help manage either of them, because he doesn't care how it affects those around him. I can imagine his family becoming estranged from him after years of trying to help once it starts becoming an exercise in not knowing how to explain why he should care about other people.

Also potentially, in a headcanon where Richard was bipolar (I don't think BPD quite works, but that's just me) it could also add to Amsha's whole "he's just doing his best, don't be so hard on him" thing. I can totally imagine the both of them blaming Richard's most recent downward spiral on Julian, and Amsha being really protective of Richard's "mental health" at the expense of Julian's 🙃

On this note actually, I've recently been turning over the idea that Julian could have BPD that he usually manages well with medication. (Partly because he has so many similarities with the way my housemate describes BPD as affecting him.. 😅) I can imagine him being quite careful and deliberate about the way he forms relationships, because he knows he's liable to become extremely intense or push them away if he lets his feelings take too much control. There are also definitely times where his mood seems to switch quite rapidly, plus there's the frequent feeling of loneliness and emptiness, and the times he acts impulsively in ways that could harm him.

(Although, now I'm thinking about it in definite words rather than half-thought-out headcanons, I realise that whatever medication he was on would have to be really long-lasting to make sense with his time in Camp 371... Hmm..)

out of curiosity, does anyone Armchair Diagnoses Richard Bashir as having ADHD or a mood disorder, what with the fleeting interests and inability to hold on a job for long plus apples (Jules' neurodivergence) not falling far from trees (could run in the family)? or is that terribly reductive?

[quasi-normalcy]

"Dark Frontier" is a bad episode in general and I've never particularly liked it, but rewatching it as an adult makes me additionally annoyed with what horrible fucking parents Magnus and Erin Hansen are. "Oh yeah, let's bring our preschool-aged child with us on an unregistered Borg safari! Lol, we're sneaking across the Neutral Zone now based on a rumour! With our PRESCHOOL-AGED CHILD. Oh, looks like these legendary invincible cyborgs not only are REAL, they also practise forced assimilation of other species! Well, we'd better follow them through this transwarp conduit to their territory at the other end of the Galaxy! WITH OUR PRESCHOOL-AGED CHILD"

Right up there with Richard and Amsha Bashir in the running for the Star Trek 'parents of the year' award.

[littlewalken]

If Garak and Bashir's parents had ever met it would totally turn into a who can bash their son the most contest between Tain and Richard. Amsha would be wavering between thinking they were right to have Julian "fixed" and realizing perhaps they were wrong, depending on your take on her. Mila would struggle harder and harder to keep her composure and not just blast the Bashirs into oblivion. Tobin would 'hate to interrupt but could the boys help me with something' and spend the rest of the night hugging Garak and Bashir and sobbing while trying to convince Mila not to poison the other three.

[ofhouseadama]

how would Garak meeting Bashir’s parents go

Garak puts on the performance of his LIFE and wins an award for most charming son-in-law but absolutely despises Richard and is lukewarm on Amsha. I think if it came down to necessity, he'd threaten Richard so that he'd stop fucking with Julian's medical career on Cardassia but for the most part, Garak knows Julian can handle himself.

He'll wait for an invitation to step in, because he knows that if either Julian's parents step one toe out of line in regards to their children, who do need defending, Julian will go nuclear. Julian's not tolerating that. And it's up to Julian to decide what he wants to tolerate for himself.