#AmberWilson

[oldmanffucker]

my first instinct upon seeing this was to get angry and want to hit this person with hammers, but actually I want to talk about this.

this post, and I didn't even want to click in the read the rest bc it made me to sad to see, is saying that Wilson and Amber only dated for a maximum of three months, so should he really be this torn up about her loss?

So, as a grief support specialist and house fan, let's talk about it.

First and foremost, it's the depth, not the length, of a relationship that matters. Quality over quantity, all of that. Of course. But also, if we look at Amber and Wilson's relationship itself, this is kind of the first time Wilson is in a relationship that feels really good to him. Amber doesn't just want Wilson bc she needs him and needs to be put first by him, she wants him to take care of himself too. He's being challenged for the first time (in a romantic context) (canonically) to not put himself on the back burner for everyone else, but to think about what Wilson wants. House, of course, does this too, but in different ways. Which is also to say that Amber is a revelation for him because she is like House--House who is his longest and arguably only real friend, the person he trusts the most, is most able to be himself around. And now he's found this person who he can feel all that in a romantic and sexual context too.

Which is all to say that this relationship wasn't like any other three month fling he had, this one had a depth to it from the very beginning that was really important and profound to Wilson, and was changing some parts of himself in a way that was really kind of life altering, even as it was also pretty subtle in many ways to the casual viewer.

This, plus the fact that her death itself was really sudden, very traumatic, and prolonged (a couple days and many really traumatic failed attempts to save her life, including his best friend risking his life for her), really adds up to someone being profoundly affected by this loss.

But beyond this, Wilson did not only experience the loss of Amber with her death. There are losses we grieve beyond simply dying. The whole experience before finding out she was even missing and hurt, of seeing House without memory, of even for a little while thinking they may have had an affair, of watching House kill himself (literally) to bring back his memories - this portion of the situation alone is an experience of a loss of safety. He's realizing that life is random, and terrifying in a whole new way than he may have known it before. His best friend was in a bus accident. Life is random and he could have died. There is no guaranteed safety. His best friend who knows everything suddenly knows nothing. A loss of the status quo, of what he's assumed is the way things are. he's watching his best friend go to extreme lengths in order to capture his memories. he's watching his best friend fucking die on a bus floor as he tries to revive him with his boss. Loss of control, loss of the norm, loss of the future they could have had if none of this happened.

THEN.!! He's made aware that Amber was involved in all of this. And we don't know where she is or how she's doing. He's now been introduced to ambiguous loss (which he has experienced at great length with his brother who went missing, and is now experiencing again). Now they have to find Amber. Okay and now they've found her and she's in a coma and really on the brink of death. And this too is an ambiguous loss of another variety. He's experiencing both sides of ambiguous loss about Amber back to back (1. Physical absence and psychological presence (ex. someone missing/estranged) 2. Physical presence and psychological absence (ex. parent w dementia, someone in a coma))

He then has to skip over the grieving part and jump into problem solving and trying to keep her alive. and then his boy best friend has to risk his life for amber and wilson and almost die. And then Wilson has to realize that now, his kind of technically-alive-but-not girlfriend, he has to let her go. And she's woken up and he has mere moments to say his goodbyes and I love you's.

And ALL OF THAT is just the loss itself.

Then he is "grieving" or "mourning" in the way that is generally understood by the average person. If you ask the average person (esp in the US) what grief is, they'd usually point to this--after someone dies when you're sad--and none of the many paragraphs of grief and loss grappling I wrote about just before that.

The average bereavement leave is 3 days. Grief will invariably last more than three days. The amount of time we see Wilson grieving is frankly, really fucking regular. Even for a death less fraught and traumatic (subjectively) than this one.

Besides all of this, there are a number of different grief styles, and I think that Wilson's grief style is that of the Intuitive, or Heart, Griever (isn't that just perfect? I wonder if the writers knew that when they named the episode Wilson's Heart...).

This type of griever is more overtly emotional than the Intellectual, or Head, Griever (the other 2 styles are the Blended, or Head & Heart Griever, and the Dissonant, or Head vs Heart Griever). But is again, really common! Perhaps the asker of this original Reddit question is a head griever, or a dissonant griever, or perhaps even someone who has never yet had to grieve, and has only been fed the myths about grief, and they're trying to make sense of such a large grief.

There is no right way to grieve, there is no correct length of time that that grieving should last. There's no correct amount of time you are allowed to know someone before you grieve their death or pain. The way you grieve is the way you need to grieve, you simply have to try to honor it.

(I don't have a reddit so I can't respond to this directly, but feel free to link this in the responses to the post itself if you feel so inclined)

[draculovemp3]

"You know you can't keep doing this," she laughs, cupping Wilson's cheek with her hand.

-> amber/wilson ... :3

THEM…..!!!!! Sweetiehearts I love you forever….

“You know you can’t keep doing this,” she laughs, cupping Wilson’s cheek with her hand.

“What? Dance with my beautiful girlfriend?” She rolls her eyes but the expression’s betrayed by her swaying along.

“Last time you distracted me from the oven, our salmon was burnt.”

A turn up on the radio’s volume, “I’ve honed my craft,” Wilson jerks and dances in the most dreadful way. She stares at him and he gets that cute, kinda ditzy embarrassed-while-fond face of his. Her heart beats something sweet and strong.

Send me a pairing and a sentence, I'll write the next five(ish/or more!) sentences

[buckysoldatbarnes]

they way house risked his life because wilson asked him to... the way house didn’t want to wake up from his coma because he didn’t want to live with wilson hating him.... wilson going home to find amber’s note on their bed... season 4 episode 16 wilson’s heart i will never be over you

[papimilo]

This pretty lady was ready for her sixth year anniversary photoshoot. #makeupbymilo’s Flawless Glam on @liliana8300 #milorojas @papimilo #fortlauderdale #florida #💕 _________________________________________________________ #makeupartists_worldwide #amberwilson #makeupartist #miamimakeupartist #cuteassboys #papimilo #beautifulpeople #prettygirls #ftl #makeuplife #dimple #makeupartistworldwide #makeupartistsworldwide #picoftheday #fortlauderdale #instamakeup #sixthyearanniversary #pictureoftoday #glam #photoshoot #photographyoftheday #lifestyleblogger #lifestyle #makeuplooks #makeuplife #makeupoftheday #photoshootmakeup (at Fort Lauderdale, Florida) https://www.instagram.com/p/B9UXGYbgJ8_/?igshid=njjoeaa4g060

[tracyyounggwynn-blog]

My first EYE KANDY! 57 this year and finally adding a little glamour to my makeup! Thank you, Amber Hutson Wilson❤️#tracygwynn #goddessart123 #theoriginaltracyyoung #theoriginaltracygwynn #eyekandy #amberwilson (at Danville, Virginia)

[theindiejunkie-blog]

Lights Out, Words Gone - Bombay Bicycle Club [WFUV]

A Different Kind of Fix is my favorite among all the albums/EP's they've released.

[Amber Wilson doing the back-up vocals here.]

  Source: TheAlternateSide

[ofmonsterrsandmen]

PLEASE HELP IN ANYWAY #AMBERWAY

Amber Duncan Wilson was a young lady at my high school who just graduated. She had a Promising future in education family and friends. This Sunday, Amber was walking home with her friend when suddenly a couple of men came up to her. They were trying to Rob her. They took her belongings and also.. Took her life with a shot to the head. I didn't know her personally, but I've heard many things about her. Always a smile on that beautiful face. All I ask is that you spread the word #Amberway in ANYWAY! Twitter, Tumblr,Facebook,instagram..etc. PLEASE REBLOG. We don't want money we just want her story to be heard. REBLOGGING wont hurt your blog.

More info is HERE

[draculovemp3]

are there any entries about wilson do you think..❓. ilove how you said hed keep it (bible esque piece to him) after shes gone. would he go through it? gosh her diary... her diary ☹🥺🥺

Her diaryyyyy☹️☹️☹️🥺i actually had a thought ab that but i wanted to keep the particular og thoughts all about her🤞 her very first entry about him wasnt a declaration of attraction or anything but like House’s own first time observations about Wilson she found him Interesting. Wondered why he hung around so much Etcetera… then comes her kicked out of the reality comp. A scathing entry. Next day or two. The Wilson entry… warmer feelings hm ?? In the peak of their relationship wilson-related entries are half cuteshitty drawings of him in the comfort of their home/dates and half offhand mentions that show how much their life’s blended together… Wilson is one of the first ppl to make her feel she doesn’t need to hide her more vulnerable thoughts in writing form only🧎 aughhh Wilson I think would in a weak(er) moment start reading it but a few pages in, the everyday nature of it+his feeling like he’s invading her privacy when she’s not Even There(she is to him!!! He’s surrounded by Her!!!) he’s too upset to ever keep reading and he guards em like she did . Of all the stuff he throws out when he moves, her diaries(and pictures) are what he knows he’ll keep the longest 🙁It’s enough to know it’s Her writing & drawings in there

[papimilo]

I came, I saw, I contoured. #makeupbymilo’s Flawless Glam on @amberw790 #fortlauderdale #florida #💕 _________________________________________________________ #makeupartists_worldwide #amberwilson #makeupartist #miamimakeupartist #beautifulpeople #prettygirls #makeuplife #dimple #makeupartistworldwide #makeupartistsworldwide #picoftheday #instamakeup #piercingeyes #pictureoftoday #glam #photographyoftheday #lifestyleblogger #lifestyle #makeuplooks #makeuplife #makeupoftheday (at Las Olas) https://www.instagram.com/p/B9NNSk4g5Cg/?igshid=1cqcw1xw6d64u

[papimilo]

In 2020 you even got to look good for radio; radio row that is. #makeupbymilo’s Flawless Glam on @amberw790 #fortlauderdale #florida #💕 _________________________________________________________ #makeupartists_worldwide #amberwilson #superbowl2020 #makeupartist #miamimakeupartist #beautifulpeople #prettygirls #makeuplife #bossbabe #makeupartistworldwide #makeupartistsworldwide #picoftheday #instamakeup #pictureoftoday #glam #boss #photographyoftheday #superbowl54 #lifestyleblogger #daytimeglam #radiorow #lifestyle #makeuplooks #makeuplife #makeupoftheday #photographybymilo (at Fort Lauderdale, Florida) https://www.instagram.com/p/B8CgufXguF0/?igshid=13hdgoeyu5dyw