#Am I the only person obsessed with Florida water it smells SO good

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

All the Hispanics in the chat know Miguel smell like this. He smell like Florida Water

Am I the only one who understands. Am I the only one who knows this secret about Miguel. He smells like Florida Water. Like a Mexican grandma's altar. Like citrus and clove and SWEETNESS. He smells GOOD AS HELL

[the-angry-pixie]

Just a buttload of questions

I was tagged by the lovely @jessiohhh. Thank you chickadee. Took me forever to finish, but I got there. :D 

Apparently this is to help you get to know your tumblr peeps better. 

Gonna put most of these under a cut to save y’alls dashes.

1. Do you prefer writing with a black pen or blue pen? I guess if I had to choose it would be black. I don’t know why. A good black ballpoint is a lovely thing to have.

2. Would you prefer to live in the country or city? Depends what stage of my life I am in. I want to retire to the country but otherwise wanna live in the city.

3. If you could learn a new skill what would it be? To sew and make clothes. Gosh how different my life (and my wardrobe) would be if I could fix clothes, alter clothes, MAKE clothes. I want this skill so much!

4. Do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? Don’t drink coffee. My tea has half a sugar. I worked my way all the way down from two sugars and I’m proud. :)

5. What was your favourite book as a child? My Dad used to read me Enid Blyton books when I was little. My favourite series was probably The Naughtiest Girl in the School series.

6. Do you prefer baths or showers? Definitely showers. I want to like baths, but whenever I take one I just feel sweaty and gross.

7. If you could be a mythical creature, which one would it be? A fairy. I’ve been obsessed with fairies since I was little.

8. Paper or electronic books? Probably electronic books. Easier to read and travel. 

9. What is your favourite item of clothing? Gosh I don’t know. I literally sat here thinking about it for a couple of minutes and I can’t pick a favourite. I guess by default it falls to the item that I wear the MOST which would be my black combat boots. I wear them almost constantly.

10. Do you like your name or would you like to change it? Nah I tend to think Laura is a bit boring. I like my middle name Eileen though.

11. Who is a mentor to you? I’m kind of without one at the moment. Thats just the situation my current life is in right now. 

12. Would you like to be famous and if so, what for? I would like to be “Author Famous”. Like have soooooo much money, and dedicated fans who like my work. But nobody recognises me in the street. 

13. Are you a restless sleeper? Yes.

14. Do you consider yourself a romantic person? No, not in the conventional sense.

15. Which element best represents you? I wish I was earth but I would say probably water. Can be dangerous or calm. Flexible. 

16. Who do you want to be closer to? Hmmm I feel bad that I’m not closer to my godson. But ya see, he’s an annoying lil shit. At least the stage he’s going through right now is really obnoxious. So spending time with him is just... not fun.

17. Do you miss someone at the moment? All my Canada friends.

18. Tell us about an early childhood memory. I’ve talked about early childhood memories on here a lot. I don’t want to repeat a story so lemme think a moment..... I remember being obsessed with pressing buttons when I was younger. I mean, most kids are. But you see my family lived on a dairy farm, and in the dairy where we milked the cows and stored the milk there was like... a WALL OF BUTTONS. And levers, and switches and other doo-dads. And like... I just wanted to press them all. But I wasn’t allowed. Obviously. Only at certain times during the day would my father call me over and lift me up so I could press one particular button. So yeah, I remember that. “Helping” my Dad in the dairy and being excited whenever I got to press the buttons. I never even got old enough to learn what the buttons did before we moved off our farm. :(

19. What is the strangest thing you have eaten? Hmmm, probably escargot. Snails. They were delicious.

20. What are you most thankful for? My newborn nephew.

21. Do you like spicy food? Yes. But spicy food does not like me.

22. Have you ever met someone famous? Yeah last year I was working on a feature film that had a Disney starlet working on it.

23. Do you keep a diary or journal? No way. Too hard. The only time I keep journals is for really important stuff that needs documentation. Like a medical journal when I’m sick. Or an anxiety journal when my GAD gets real bad.

24. Do you prefer to use a pen or a pencil? Pen I guess.

25. What is your star sign? Libra

26. Do you like your cereal soggy or crunchy? Bit of both. If you can get a mouthful with both then thats like... bliss.

27. What would you want your legacy to be? Do I need to want it to be anything? Cause I don’t. Like I don’t really care all that much. Maybe I will later in life.

28. Do you like reading, what was the last book you read? I dont think its accurate to say I like reading when I literally never do it anymore. Except for fanfic. I listen to audiobooks a bit. I just finished listening to The Stand by Stephen King.

29. How do you show someone you love them? Cuddles, I’m a cuddler.

30. Do you like ice in your drinks? Yes.

31. What are you afraid of? Wasted potential and never really getting where I want to get.

32. What is your favourite scent? That smell after a sun shower. Everything is wet and the sun is making it evaporate into the atmosphere. Love that smell.

33. Do you address older people by their name or surname? Not to be cheeky but like, context is a thing. Depends on the context.

34. If money was not a factor, how would you live your life? Not terribly different. I would still work. I guess I would travel a lot more. Since that is something that I would love to do but can’t because I don’t have the funds.

35. Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? Theyre both the same level of scary to me. Yes, I suffer from an irrational fear of pool sharks. So I guess I would go ocean because at least with the ocean you have the surf waves to make it fun.

36. What would you do if you found £50 on the ground? Look around to see if someone had dropped it, then if there was no one, pocket it.

37. Have you ever seen a shooting star? Yes. Last time I went camping there was a meteor shower. Wait, do they count as shooting stars? If not then no.

38. What is the one thing you would want to teach your children? Compassion.

39. If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? I want to get a bunch of babies-breath flowers tattooed in the middle of my back. Its so specific because I plan my tattoos for a long time before I get them.

40. What can you hear now? The fish tank filter at my brothers house.

41. Where do you feel the safest? In my bedroom. In my bed. Laptop and phone and kitty nearby.

42. What is the one thing you want to overcome/conquer? My fear of relationships and emotional intimacy.

43. If you could travel back to any era, what would it be? I honestly don’t know. There are a lot of cool places (but like, usually only if youre in the upperclass). Ancient Greece maybe? Jane Austen era? Woodstock? I can’t decide.

44. What is your most used emoji? This lil dude. 🙃 I prefer it to the regular smiley face.

45. Describe yourself using one word. eclectic

46. What do you regret the most? Not having my mental health issues diagnosed at an earlier age.

47. Last movie you saw? In the cinemas? A Beautiful Day in the Neighbourhood back in January (actually got my wallet out and looked at my ticket stubs). Just in general - I watched The Florida Project last night with my bro.

48. Last tv show you watched? My Little Pony. Been watching episodes to help me fall asleep.

49. Invent a word and it’s meaning. Derp-a-derp. My bro and I have been saying that over the last few days when we can’t remember the word we are trying to say. Like “go get me the derp-a-derp” or “what was I saying about the derp-a-derp”. Its a good placeholder.

-----

Annnnnd imma taaaaaaag.... like I said, this is a long one so no pressure (it took me like a week to get through all the questions).... anyway I tag @hichie, @thepragmaticrebel, @heavensdick and @serendipitous-magic.

[let-it-raines]

Catch Me If You Can (12/?)

298 days. That’s how long Killian Jones was away from a baseball field. It’s less than a year, only part of a season for him, but it might as well have lasted a decade as he alternated between physical therapy and spending an excessive amount of time sitting on his couch.

But then he came back and won the World Series.

It’s something no one saw coming, and it’s certainly not something anyone who knows about his arm would predict. Now it’s a new season with new possibilities, and anything could happen. On-field reporter Emma Swan will be there to cover it all even if she is not his biggest fan right now.

Asking her out live on-air will do that.

Rating: Mature

A/N: Sorry not sorry for giving my main man Rafa’s ass a shoutout in this chapter. Can you guys tell that the summer tennis season was in full swing when I was writing this? 🎾 

Thanks to @resident-of-storybrooke for reading through a massive amount of words and saying positive things about them to feed my ego. 

Found on AO3: Beginning | Current

Tumblr: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 |

Tag list: @eala-captian @mariakov81 @ultraluckycatnd @royalswan @shey-starsfury @sals86 @iam2307 @ashley-knightingale @karenfrommisthaven @skyewardolicitycloisdelena91 @scientificapricot @captswanis4vr @ultimiflos @jamif @idristardis @nikkiemms @resident-of-storybrooke @tiganasummertree @wellhellotragic @bmbbcs4evr @onceuponaprincessworld @jennjenn615 @mayquita @captainsjedi @teamhook @notoriouscs @kmomof4 @ekr032-blog-blog @cs-forlife @andiirivera @jonirobinson64 @galaxyzxstark @qualitycoffeethings @thejollyroger-writer

-/-

Emma: Can you do me a favor?

Killian: I feel like I need to know the favor before I say yes to that.

Emma: You’re no fun.

Killian: I have been reliably informed by my nieces that I am fun.

Emma: It’s great that you mention your nieces, because the favor is for my nephew.

Killian: Well, you should have said that first.

Emma: You’re the worst.

Killian: What do you need, Swan?

Emma: Like a month ago, I told Leo that I could get you to sign a hat for him, and I was just reminded that I haven’t done that yet.

Killian: Ah, so now I know why you’re really dating me.

Emma: Exactly.

Killian: I can most definitely get your nephew a signed hat. I’ll give it to you tonight?

Emma: Perfect. I can’t thank you enough.

Killian: You could come over on our off day tomorrow?

Emma: I like that idea. We’ve pretty much only texted for two weeks.

Killian: Or talked with a camera in our faces.

Emma: Exactly. See you tonight. I hope you have fun sitting in the dugout the entire time.

Killian: I’ve had a pretty woman sitting next to me the last few games, so it’s enjoyable.

Emma: Julia Roberts????

Emma: Okay, I really have to go, but don’t forget about the signed hat. It’s the only way that I’m going to come over tomorrow.

Killian chuckles at Emma’s last text before closing out his phone and placing it in the front pocket of his sweatpants as thunder roars to life outside, shaking the glass panes of his window as rain starts to fall from above. It’s a light sprinkling for about thirty seconds before a torrential downpour starts taking place, the sounds of the city drowned out by the late May storm that’s happening outside. He knew there was a chance that it was coming, has checked the weather obsessively as he tends to do whenever there’s the possibility of rain, and all he can do is hope that it’s a quick summer storm that dissipates long before tonight’s game so that the field can dry enough for them to play.

If this thunder and lightning continues, however, he doesn’t think that anyone will be stepping onto the field tonight.

Humming to himself, he steps away from his window and walks the few steps to the kitchen, opening the refrigerator to find the ingredients he wants for an omelet and setting them out on the countertops. It takes him but a few moments to piddle around and start cooking himself a late breakfast, his coffee maker brewing behind him as the smell of coffee fills his nose, and soon enough, he’s raking his fork through his omelet so that metal scratches against glass as the rain continues to pour down outside, the sky only lightened by the occasional flash of light. It’s been a good while since it stormed like this, and oddly, he finds it relaxing.

Likely, it helps that he’s in the safety of his apartment and not currently wandering the streets of Manhattan trying to find somewhere to wait this thing out like so many others are.

When he’s finished eating his food, he settles back down on the couch and continues to watch the tennis match that’s playing, idly following along with the tournament as he scrolls through his phone and Instagram. He doesn’t follow that many people, mostly only his family and work-related things, so he sees a picture of Will and Belle smiling at the camera from the date that he knows they went on the other night, another photo of Elsa and the girls on Addy’s last day of kindergarten (how is his niece old enough to be finished with kindergarten?), and then one of Emma sitting with Ruby, the brightest smiles on their faces. They went out last night to celebrate Ruby’s boyfriend getting a raise, and while he hasn’t asked how the night went, it looks like it was a nice time.

And Emma is up early this morning, so she must not be too hungover. He’s both interested and terrified to know what his girlfriend would be like hungover.

His girlfriend.

They didn’t explicitly say the words, but they aren’t dating anyone else, aren’t planning on dating anyone else, so that’s what Emma is to him, right? It sounds childish and juvenile in a way, but it’s also…exhilarating. He never planned on feeling this way about a woman again, never planned on wanting to receive texts and have late-night phone conversations or hushed rendezvous in this little secluded corner outside of the clubhouse.  

He’s really starting to like that secluded corner.

He’s most definitely starting to fall in love with Emma. He’s not…he’s not quite there yet, but he knows that it’s coming.

Terrifying. Exhilarating. Wonderful. Every feeling all at once.

His phone buzzes in his hand, Ariel’s contact popping up at the top of the screen.

Ariel: Game is cancelled for tonight. You have three days off now, but don’t just sit on your ass. Do some exercises.Get Will or Robin to practice some pitches with you. Work out that arm.I’m sure Al will text you in a minute.

Killian: I was thinking about living a sedentary life, actually. I’d like to really screw the team over again whenwe’re currently leading the AL East and have another home series against the Sox coming up.

Ariel: Don’t be an ass.

Killian: I promise that I will exercise. I already did my run this morning.

Ariel: Good boy.

Killian: I am not your dog.

Ariel: That’s debatable. You and Max are similar. I’ll talk to you later. I think Eric and I are finally going to repaint the living room.

He’s just about to close his phone when another message pops up, this time one he’s definitely not going to ignore.

Elsa: I heard the game is cancelled tonight, and that means you’re coming over for dinner. No questions asked. We changed Sunday night dinner since you’re pitching against the Sox that night and we can’t miss that. Liam insisted.

Elsa: And Anna is cooking tonight.

Elsa Jones knows all, and he loves her for it.

-/-

“Look at the paper that Mrs. Johnson gave me,” Addy tells him as she stacks a certificate on top of the toys already sitting in his lap, several things from Lucy but mostly arts and crafts that Addy has decided she must show off by drowning him with them. It’s this or drown in the rain that’s still going on outside. “It’s because I’m smart.”

“I can see that. I think you get that from me.”

“I get it from Mommy.”

“Well, that too,” he chuckles, flexing his toes in his sneakers so that his feet don’t fall asleep, the slight tingling sensation already appearing.

“Killian,” Lucy whispers, coming up to him with a stuffed giraffe that’s bigger than she is and placing it next to him, “I have a giraffe.”

“I don’t think that’s smelly enough to be a giraffe, little love.”

“I gave her a bath.”

“Ah,” he sighs, Lucy very obviously not getting his joke. He’s still trying to figure her out, her seriousness extremely unlike Addy’s loud and boisterous personality, but he gets that. She’s likely overpowered by her older sister, and he can understand that. So, the younger siblings very obviously have to stick together. It’s in all of the unwritten rules. “Did you use soap?”

“Yep.” “What about water?”

“Uh huh.”

“Hmm, okay.” He taps his chin as he thinks before reaching forward and bopping her nose so that it scrunches up on her face. “What about peanut butter?”

“No,” she giggles, her smile lighting up her face as she pets the giraffe before pressing it forward so that it’s giving him kisses. At least, that’s what she’s told him before, so he assumes that’s what is happening now. “Peanut butter is too sticky.”

“And it’s for eating,” Addison says before she’s placing yet another drawing on top of his lap. Where does the kid get the supplies for this? There’s no way it’s all coming from her school.

“Speaking of that, what do the two of you say about us leaving your playroom and going down to the kitchen to see when I can get some food in my belly. I’m a growing boy. I need my food.”

“You’re not growing anymore because you’re an adult.”

He winks at Addy, amusement running over every inch of him. “That’s what you think, sweetheart.”

Carefully, he starts undoing the pile that’s been covering him, making sure not to rip any of the papers or stack the stuffed animals in the wrong way, before he stands from the ground, his knees popping the slightest bit. That was an awkward position for him to sit in for a long time, hence the feet that fell asleep, and he definitely doesn’t need to be hurting himself in unconventional ways when he’s already prone to injury. His arm has felt fine since Florida, all of his games pitched until the fourth or fifth inning, and he’s convinced himself that it was simply a one-time thing. It’s not going to get that bad again.

He won’t let it.

He can’t. He won’t miss any other physical therapy sessions with Archie, and he’s not going to overdo it.

“Alright,” he laughs, leaning down and scooping each girl up over his shoulders to the sound of their giggles, “let’s go find out what your Aunt Anna is cooking for dinner.”

They’re still so small right now, but with Addy turning six at the end of June, he’s not sure how long he’s going to be able to hold both of them at once as he walks down the stairs of the townhome from their playroom to the kitchen where he can already hear everyone who wasn’t pawned off onto the kids talking.

“Killian,” Elsa scolds the moment she sees him, “put them down. Your shoulder.”

“It’s fine, Els,” he huffs even as he puts them on the ground, a slight bit of relief running through his body. “I can pick my nieces up.”

“But – ”

“I am fine,” he promises, stepping into the room to brush his lips over Elsa’s temple. “It smells good in here. What are we eating?”

“Stuffed shells,” Anna answers as she chops up a cucumber, hopefully for a salad and not the stuffed shells. “I had some leftover marinara sauce and wanted to use it.”

“Bless you,” he sighs, resting his elbows against the countertop. “Are your parents coming tonight?”

“They are stubborn and refuse to come to Sunday dinners when it’s not on a Sunday,” Anna tells him as she presses up on her toes to check in the oven. “They do not understand baseball in the way that we understand it.”

“To be fair, it’s not like someone they’re related to is a player,” Kris says.

“Hey, I am a not-so-distant relative by marriage, thank you very much.”

“I’m their son-in-law,” Kris adds, a slight roll of his eyes as he eats a roll, “and sometimes they don’t even acknowledge me.”

“Well, that’s just because they don’t think your job is a real job, sweetie.”

“Someone has to decorate the city for Christmas! It’s real! Killian plays a sport for a living!”

“Hey, hey, hey,” Killian playfully scoffs, cutting his toward Kris, “we don’t have to shit on my job to build yours up.”

“Language,” Liam warns before he takes a sip of his beer. All of them look over to the girls only to find that neither are paying any attention to them. Good. he doesn’t want to be the reason they start cursing. That is not something he’s going to have blamed on him. “And we all love the Karlssons, but they are definitely a little more old-fashioned on things. I’m a doctor, though, so I don’t have to worry about any of their judgment.”

Elsa chuckles before she slaps Liam’s shoulder, her eyes practically rolling to the back of her head. “Don’t be a jerk when you are far too invested in your brother’s career and have Kris come and decorate the house every year. A job is a job, and they have two really cool ones.”

“I was kidding, darling.” He leans in and presses his lips against Elsa’s, lingering a little too long, but that’s how they are sometimes. It’s sweet and awful all at once, and it makes him wish that he could bring Emma along to things like this instead of being the fifth wheel, seventh if Addy and Lucy can be considered a pair. “Killian, how are you handling having so many unexpected days off? I’m surprised you can even sit still when you’re so used to having something to do.”

Killian shrugs his shoulders, his nails tapping against the countertop as he feels four pairs of eyes staring at him and waiting for him to answer. “I mean, I wasn’t playing any of these days anyways, so I did my workouts at home today instead of going into work. Tomorrow will be the same, and then we’ll have games again.”

“Oh. You have tomorrow off?” Elsa asks, her eyes lighting up.

“Uh, yeah, I should. I’ve just got to do some weight training exercises and do my shoulder exercises. Why?”

“Do you want to watch the girls?”

Oh.

Shit.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

Reaching up to scratch behind his ears, he tries to think of an excuse, any excuse, but is coming up all kinds of short. Dammit.

(He’s probably going to be the reason Addy and Lucy start cursing.)

“I’m a little busy, love.”

“It’s your off day. What could you possibly be doing?”

“Doctor’s appointment and then a few errands,” he lies, enough guilt festering in his stomach that he may as well go ahead and schedule an appointment for his stomach. Then he won’t have really lied, right? “By the time I get everything done, you’ll practically be off work. I can spend another day with them, though. I’ll take them out to eat or to the park or even the zoo.”

“What kind of doctor’s appointment? Everything okay?”

“Just a normal check-up.” He clicks his tongue, his toes bouncing him up and down on the floor. “So, everyone’s coming on Sunday, right? Let me know where you want to sit, and I’ll get Ariel to arrange everything.”

It’s the most obvious change in conversation that he can think of, but it’s also literally all he can think of. He’s an asshole for telling Elsa he can’t spend time with the girls, but he was kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place there. It’s either disappoint his nieces or disappoint Emma, and while he’d like to disappoint no one, that’s not really an option. He had plans with Emma first, and that’s what he’s going to stick to. Maybe one day they’ll be in a situation where he can take the girls with him, and all four of them can do something without him having to lie to his family.

Today is not that day.

They’ll figure it all out.

There’s another loud crash of thunder outside, and his head turns to the side to look at the darkness outside. He’s not sure if this rain is every going to stop, and he’s really kind of dreading going home in this weather.

“Do you remember when we were younger, and you used to try to get struck by lightning?”

“Because I’m an idiot,” Killian chuckles to Liam, leaning back from the countertop and pulling a barstool out to sit on. “I thought I’d be Thor or something if I got struck by lightning.”

“That’s pretty cute, actually,” Anna gushes. “Elsa used to think that she could control the snow because she’d ask for it to snow and it usually would.”

“Anna,” Elsa laughs as she buries her face in her hands, “why are you always sharing such weird things about me?”

“Because Liam was sharing weird things about Killian, and I thought it would be funny.”

“Growing up, you guys spent December in Norway,” Liam points out while he rubs his wife’s back. “It snowed all the time. Of course you thought you could control the snow. That’s cute, sweetheart. You and Killian think you can control the weather.”

“Els, are you feeling attacked right now?” he asks.

“Absolutely.”

“I think we should get more food than everyone else for this torture.”

Elsa peeks through her fingers with a smile. “I like the way you think.”

-/-

“A signed hat, just as you requested, milady.” Killian holds the hat he signed for Leo out to Emma as he mockingly bows down in front of her while motioning her into his apartment.

“You’re so dramatic,” she laughs even as she takes the hat, placing it between her fingers before she’s wrapping her arms around his neck and slowly sliding her lips over his, her teeth already nibbling as his hands find her hips, tugging them closer to his. Bloody hell has he missed being able to do this and feeling the warmth of Emma even if she is chilled by the rain. “Thank you for that hat.”

“No problem,” he murmurs against her mouth before he closes the door with his foot and backs Emma up against it so that their bodies can press further together, her mouth opening for him as their tongues curl together in a slow, warm heat that’s simmering over every inch of him. Emma’s fingers are nimble against the back of his neck, and when she cants her hips up, brushing where he’s already half-hard against her, he groans into her mouth, weeks and months of wanting starting to boil within him. It’s hungry and rough, and he has to stop himself from stripping them out of their clothes right then and there by pecking her mouth two times before resting his forehead against hers and inhaling a sharp breath. “Hi, Swan.”

“Hi,” she sighs as her hand falls from his hair to rest on his chest, right over his wildly beating heart. She can likely feel it. “We probably should have said that first.”

“Eh, I liked our greeting better.”

She blinks up at him, her face bare of makeup so that her lashes are blonde, and her freckles are showing, before she smiles a smile so bright that he figures that happiness can be tasted on her tongue.

“It was a good greeting. I approve.”

“Me – ” he presses the inch forward to kiss the smile, “ – too. Have you eaten?”

“It’s seven in the morning. No, I haven’t eaten.”

“That’s what I figured. You want to order in, or do you want me to make you something?”

Emma hums, her bottom lips pulled between her teeth as she thinks. “You can cook. I’m here to use you for your autograph skills, your cooking, and your cable.”

“What about me?”

“You’re on the list somewhere.” Emma giggles when he runs his fingers against the skin above her shorts, and he catalogs that spot away in the back of his mind because he can most definitely use that in the future. “I’m going to get to the TV part first, though, because Roland Garros is on, and there are some matches I want to watch.”

“It’s already on.”

“I like the way that you roll, twenty-nine.”

She pushes off of him and walks the few feet into his living room, flopping down on the couch and immediately resting her feet up on his coffee table. It’s a comfortable move, and he likes that Emma feels comfortable in his home. He’ll never quite get over that. All of their private moments are here or in one of their hotel rooms when they’re on the road, and as much as he sometimes loves those rooms, nothing compares to this.

He ate too much yesterday, Anna’s stuffed shells and rolls still residing in his stomach, so he only bothers to make enough batter to make Emma a waffle since she never said what she wanted, even when he just prodded her for more information. He knows that she likes them considering she’s always eating them in the hotel dining rooms, and since the other option that came to him was a grilled cheese sandwich at seven in the morning, he figures a waffle will have to do. He very much doubts Emma is going to complain when he’s found that the way to her heart is most definitely food.

Junk food specifically.

When the waffle maker beeps several minutes later, he opens it up and plates Emma’s food, grabbing some fruit out of the fridge and topping it. He most definitely sneaks away a few of her blackberries, but, really, he deserves that. He cooked after all.

(And this is his apartment.)

“Thank you,” Emma says when he places it in her lap before sitting down next to her on the couch, their shoulders hitting together before he wraps his arm over the back of the couch, his fingers tapping against her shoulder. She leans to the side and presses a kiss to his cheek. “You’re sweet.”

“Oh, I most definitely know.”

Her eyes roll. “You didn’t want to eat?”

He groans at the thought. He’s already gotten up and done some of his stretches, drinking a protein shake, and he probably won’t eat anything else serious until tonight. “I ate too much yesterday, and I’ve had this really bad influence on me lately for how I’m eating so I’m trying to be better.”

“Sorry not sorry,” she mumbles, her cheeks puffed out with waffles inside. Did she just stuff the entire thing in there? There’s a thwack of a tennis ball against a racket on his television screen, and he turns his attention from Emma chewing to watch Rafael Nadal slide against red clay, making it all look effortless even when Killian knows that nothing about being an athlete is effortless, not even natural talent. “Damn,” Emma sighs, “that is one good ass.”

If he was eating, he’d choke on his food.

“W-what?” he sputters out, looking between the TV and Emma.

She pokes her fork at the screen, waving it in the air. “Rafa’s ass. That’s, like, a dream ass. Just look at it.”

His mouth is gaping open as he looks between Emma putting her plate of food on the coffee table and the television screen, his eyes taking in another man’s ass like this is the most normal conversation for him to be having before eight in the morning. But then again, when is anything about his relationship with Emma normal?

“I mean, it’s okay,” he lies, sinking down a little further in the couch as a ball launches into the air. “I’ve been told time and time again that my ass is pretty good too.”

Why in the world did he say that? What is wrong with him?

“I mean, you have a good ass that I very much appreciate, but no one has an ass like…that. It’s insane.”

“Should I feel insecure about the fact that you’re admiring another man’s ass?”

“No,” she promises, not even bothering to look at him as she pats his thigh, her hand likely a little higher than she intended as he grits his teeth at the touch, “but you should admire this man’s body. And his tan. People would pay a lot of money for a tan like that.” She twists her head to the side to look at him, quirking her brow. “What?”

“Nothing, nothing,” he laughs as he reaches down to her hand and threads their fingers together, bringing her knuckles up to his lips to brush a kiss there, “I’m simply coming to the realization that my girlfriend as a thing for other athletes.”

“Step up your game, Jones.”

“I’ll try, I’ll try. I didn’t know I had any competition, so I was unprepared.”

“That is shame. I look forward to seeing how you make up for it.”

“I’ll start thinking.”

They lapse into easy conversation like they always do when they’re together, and despite all of their early complications and some of the complications that they still have, that’s what this relationship is…easy. He’s got no clue why Emma agreed to his crazy plan, but she did. That’s all that matters. As the rain continues to pour down outside for the second day in a row, he tells her about his day yesterday and how ridiculous his family is in their group meals and constant conversation. He loves them, but he imagines that to anyone else, it would be overwhelming to come into that environment. Emma shares that she spent her morning with David yesterday, hence the reminder of the autographed hat, and tells him that Ruth is planning on coming into town sometime in June. He can’t tell if she’s happy or nervous about that, but he imagines it’s somewhere in between for how Emma feels about her foster mother and the distance there.

Families and almost-families and non-families are all so damn complicated, and as fucked up as his past family life is, it makes him thankful for what he has now. They’ve gotten him through some of his darkest times, and very few people make him smile in the way that they do.

Emma.

Emma makes him smile like that.

As the morning passes, tennis ending and Netflix being switched on instead, Emma relaxes further into him, and he finds that under the dull roll of rain, nothing and no one else exists outside of the two of them. His fingers trace the skin of her upper thigh, an absentminded motion that becomes more focused when he sees small little bumps rising over her pale skin. He never thought he could enjoy the sight of pale skin so much until he saw the way Emma’s thighs look in these shorts.

She is exquisite.

“Killian,” she gasps when his nails move to her inner thigh, and when he looks over to her with a smirk, he can see the blush rising on her cheeks as her lips part and her eyes blacken with desire.

He’s wanted this for far too long, even with the short time that they’ve been together, and it’s what has him leaning into her and cupping her cheek with his palm, his thumb pressing into her bottom lip to open her up into him so that he can lick into her mouth with absolutely no hesitation, another warm, toe-curling slide that has Emma sighing into him as her hands grapple to grab onto his shirt.

It’s a quick escalation, something he can’t quite keep track of with the way that she feels under him, moving against him, and the only coherent thought that he has is the fact that this couch must be damn lucky for everything that’s happened on it.

Which is a ridiculous thought.

Desire continues to run through him, vibrations moving down each of his vertebrae and to the base of his spine, and the little sounds that Emma is making are nearly driving him into madness at the thought of sliding into her, feeling the slick heat and tight walls and…

“Ah fuck,” he murmurs into Emma’s neck, physically and mentally cursing himself.

“What?” she gasps, still rolling her hips up as her nails scratch across his biceps.

“I don’t have any condoms.”

“Oh? I – ”

“I can go buy some from the Duane Reade right across the street. It won’t be any problem, love.” He pulls back from Emma with a hiss, his pants incredibly tight despite the elastic band, only for her to yank him back down, their bodies melding together. “W-what?”

“Later,” she speaks against his lips, and it’s only now that he sees the utter darkness in her eyes, hears the deep desire in her voice. “We’ll get condoms later. We can do other things until then.”

Well those words go straight to his groin.

He arches a brow as he rolls his hips into Emma’s, his hardness meeting her softness through clothes, and she lets out a moan that he wants to memorize for all of eternity. “Yeah? Like what?”

Emma rolls her eyes, but there’s still the slightest bit of a smile on her face. “You’re a baseball player. Don’t you know about all of the bases? I feel like we’ve talked about this before.”

Killian has to press his mouth into the skin of her collarbone, his laugh muffled and the vibrations of it working their way through Emma as his fingers trace the hem of her shorts, dipping just below the elastic waist so that he can feel the edges of her underwear.

Fucking hell.

“I hate you for making that joke,” he sighs against her. His left hand keeps getting lower as his right moves higher and higher until his fingertips are ghosting over the soft swell of her breast. “You are ridiculous.”

“But you like it.”

“And I imagine,” he whispers as he bites down onto her collarbone and readjusts himself so that his knee is between her thighs and that his fingers are brushing against her clit, “that you like this.”

Emma lets out a sharp gasp, and he looks up to see her practically panting at his touch and at the slow circles that he’s working to build her up all the while he palms her breast, her nipple pressed between his thumb and forefinger. It may have been some time, but he knows that it’s not a lot of pressure, just a simple up and down motion between her bundle of nerves and her opening, but from the sounds Emma is making and the way her body is moving, he knows that he’s got a pretty good rhythm going on.

“So, you like that?” he murmurs into her neck as his fingers slip inside of her, curling the slightest bit.

“Oh, fuck yes.”

“That’s a good girl then.”

It’s almost overwhelming for him to see Emma like this, to see her lose her composure, her careful words and guarded heart, and he rather likes the way that he’s making her fall apart and under his touch, several curses and mutterings escaping her kiss-swollen lips as he tests out what she likes and what she doesn’t, letting her instruct him when she needs to.

Emma Swan sprawled out on his couch coming apart under his touch is something he always knew would be so damn wonderful but that he never thought would happen. It seemed to be too much of a dream.

With two more thrusts of his fingers and one circle around her clit, she goes quiet, her eyelids pressing together and her lips parting, and he presses up to cover her mouth with his, capturing the gentle moan himself as he works her through her orgasm, maybe even riling her up some more as his hips rolls against her thigh, desperately seeking some kind of friction.

This is like some kind of pleasant torture for him, and he wants both to stay like this forever but also needs more.

“I knew you knew the bases,” is the first thing she mutters afterwards, and he drops his forehead against hers, his nose pressing into her cheek so that he can breathe her on while he tries to regulate his breathing and his pounding heart.

“No more jokes about my job, love. They’re cheesy as hell, and if we’re not careful, I’m going to have an erection while on the mound.”

“Oh my God…there’s about five opportunities for a dirty joke right there.”

“I know, I know,” he chuckles, softly kissing her as he starts to focus on their surroundings and the reality of the step forward in their relationship that they just took hitting him. “You okay, Emma?”

“Yeah,” she promises, nodding her head and cupping his cheeks as she smiles that beautiful smile, this time a little more sated than usual. “I’m more than okay.”

His phone buzzes in his pocket, and he pulls it out so that he can turn it off only to see a text from Al pop up.

Al Dalton: I’m calling a mandatory practice in an hour. Be there.

“What?” Emma questions when he groans. Instead of answering, he simply hands his phone to her, letting her read the message. “Oh, that really sucks.”

“You’re telling me. I was having a much better time here.”

Emma adjusts herself under him so that he’s no longer covering her body, and he sits down against the couch, adjusting his joggers and thinking of every boner killer that he can possibly think of. He probably just needs a cold, bracing shower.

“Go to practice,” Emma sighs, a slight smile on her face, as she makes an attempt at fixing her hair. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay? You’ve got to kick some Boston ass. And then maybe when that’s all over, we can continue what we started.”

“You have no idea how much I’d like that.”

She nods to his crotch with a smirk. “I think I do.”

[scottidols]

14, 15 Ur dumb

What? 1-60? Omg, thank you so much for doing this completely unprovoked!1) Put your iTunes on shuffle. Give me the first 6 songs that pop up.I don’t have iTunes so here’s from my Spotify:Fall Out Boy - Save Rock And RollWATERS - Ones You Had BeforeOf Monsters and Men - Love Love LoveMKTO - Just Imagine ItMarianas Trench - Truth Or DareHamilton - Cabinet Battle #22) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?Uuhh Jeff Probst? To get the survivor gig going3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.It dropped the quiver on the altar.4) What do you think about most?Reality TV and Love. 5) Ever had a poem or song written about you?Not really, but kind of! A good fried commissioned to have a song written about our group and my name was in it! 6) Do you have any strange phobias?I don’t like eating/drinking after people, and I absolutely fucking hate armadillos.7) What’s your religion?Christianity, Non-denominational8) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?Internally complaining about being outside9) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?AJR10) What was the last lie you told?I don’t remember, but it’s almost definitely something D&D related 11) Do you believe in karma?Eh. Kinda? Not like... “Karma” per se, but something along the lines for sure.12) What does your URL mean?I go by Scott, and “Idols” is just because I love Survivor.13) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?Laziness; Luck?14) Who is your celebrity crush?Uuhhh god, Tom Holland?15) How do you vent your anger?Writing16) Do you have a collection of anything?Half filled notebooks I guess?17) Are you happy with the person you’ve become?I’m working on it! :)18) What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?Oh, when I’d play that mancala game and the marbles would scratch that one way? Hate that. I love the sound of boys laughing- I know I’m super gay. 19) What’s your biggest “what if”?The only What if’s I have are self deprecating so I tend to ignore them- nothing but eyes on the future.20) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?Ehhhh... not really. I mean, anything’s possible, so I can’t rule them out, but if I go my entire life without ever seeing any sign of either of those things I won’t be surprised.21) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.So despite other answers I’m actually outside right now, so... tree, and air.22) Smell the air. What do you smell?Dogs. 23) What’s the worst place you have ever been to?Oh! I got a sad one, so when I was like 3 or whatever my mom was deemed unfit to take care of me since she didn’t own a house and was just taking me from trailer to trailer before she’d get kicked out by a friend for her intense drinking and smoking. Anyways I was taken to a child services place that was really horrific as it was just like 50 children all crying because they miss their families and they didn’t have enough beds for all of us so I slept on the ground. 24) Most attractive singer/s of your opposite gender?Female singers? Zendaya is absolutely stunning. Demi Lovato and Ariana Grande too. Tbh all women are beautiful wtf is this question. 25) To you, what is the meaning of life?Just, do what makes you happy, and don’t be a dick to those around you.26) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?Nope!27) What was the last movie you saw?I think it was The Greatest Showman (again). 28) What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?Nothing major really. One time I sprained my wrist when I was in like, 3rd grade?29) Do you have any obsessions right now?Always obsessed with Survivor and URealms, but I’ve also been rewatching Gravity Falls30) Ever had a rumor spread about you?Idk! Maybe!31) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?Nope. I always try to find forgiveness. I can’t deal with being angry, it just makes me feel gross.32) What is your astrological sign?Leo!33) What’s the last thing you purchased?A large pizza and some stick-shaped foods!34) Love or lust?Love35) In a relationship?Yes!36) How many relationships have you had?Two37) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?Charisma, and being able to love both yourself and those around you.38) Where is your best friend?Florida!39) What were you doing last night at 12 AM?Sleeping, the fuck?40) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?Probably not dksksksksks41) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?JOKES ON YOU! I work at a dog-place where we look after dogs and take care of them, soooooo, win-win!42) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?A) I’m fucking telling everyone. Putting this shit up on YouTube. Let’s get it viral. B) Well if the video blows up use my new found fame to spread love and acceptance, if not I guess I’m blowing my money on traveling. C) Hard to say. I want to say no, though.43) What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?Set It Off - Upside Down44) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?Communication, Mutual Respect, Love.45) How can I win your heart?Be kind and courteous, and then also buy me a bunch of things for quicker results46) Can insanity bring on more creativity?I mean, I’m not gonna SUPPORT insanity.47) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?Getting super addicted to gameshows has honestly kinda opened a lot of doors for me and what’s allowed me to get to know a lot of great people.48) What would you want to be written on your tombstone?Whatever tbh, Imma be dead either way. 49) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word “heart.”Love.50) Basic question; what’s your favorite color/colors?Gold...?51) What is your current desktop picture?Just a basic preset one from Microsoft.52) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?No, definitely not.53) What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?I... don’t know? I’m faaaiiiirly open? Ask me anything!54) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?Unrealistic, would never eat vegetables. But for the super power part, I always thought teleportation would be the best- travel costs? Irrelevant. Never late to anywhere ever again. 55) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?I don’t... want to say the no cut run. But... the no cut run.56) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?No thanks, I’ll keep ‘em.57) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?/MUSIC/ Celebrity? God I don’t know, fucking, Brendan Urie? Is he gay? Idk.58) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?Uuhh California?59) Ever been on a plane?Yes, the first time was just earlier this year!60) Give me your top 5 hottest celebrities. Nyle DiMarco is the hottest person to ever live. Tom Holland, John Boyega, Lucky Blue Smith and Zach Miko are all hot too.

[got-to-tomago-blog]

MADISON’S QUESTIONAIRE

*PERSONAL DETAILS*

Nicknames? Maddie. Although I guess technically Madison is a 'nickname' ;)

Where do you live? Right next door!

What’s your age? 17, dancing queen

Hair color? Dark brown

Eye color? Darker brown

Height? really short, like 5'2"

Date of Birth? December 29

What’s your star sign? Capricorn!

Element? Earth probably.

How many siblings? one (1)

How many pets? zero but I already have a bunch of cat names planned out for my future two cats

Obsessions?

    I want to wipe out all the sad ideas that come to me when I am holding you    I want to erase every nasty thought that bugs me every day of every week

Bad habits?

     When my fingernails get too long I pick at it, I procrastinate a lot, and I also get random ticks (ie drumming my fingers, clucking my tongue it goes on)

Phobias? I would say death, but honestly, it's probably life

*ABOUT YOU* What makes you happy?

     Being with friends I trust. Watching an entertaining show/movie/gameplay

What really irritates you?

     Apathetic people.

What makes you sad?

    Me. Capitalism. The pressures and expectations that society puts on individuals.

What makes you angry?

    People who don't care about other people's feelings. When someone says that it's required to stand for the Pledge of the Allegiance. The rampant racism and sexism and honestly discrimination in general that we humans seem naturally so inclined to.    

What makes you scared?

    The thought of how our universe and everything in it will disappear and we humans will only be a blip in that timeframe. But perhaps that isn't really scary.

    New answer: Trump. Guns. 

Who is your best friend? 

   I have like three best friends outside of bdrp: Rose, Abigail and Riley.

Ever broken a bone?

    Nah. The closest is when I twisted my ankle.

What was the last CD you bought?

    I myself haven't bought any. But like as a family, pretty sure it was Legally Blonde.

What was the last book you read?

    Throwback to middle school with the Raven Boy series.

Who was the last person you spoke to?

     The bus driver haha.

What was the last thing you ate?

    Cookies (that Riley gave me) and yogurt. 

What was the last thing you drank?

    The answer should be water, but it's juice.

What’s the best thing you’ve ever bought?

     I'm young I don't really pay expensive things. I would have to say that of the things that I know that I bought is the book Battle Royale.

What’s the worst thing you’ve ever bought?

    I bought a lot of food in my life, some pretty crappy.

What’s the best thing you’ve ever been given?

     I love my parents <3. They got me a violin (several but they sold some back), my Bose headphones, and my drawing tablet (that I should use more).

What’s the worst thing you’ve ever been given?

    Idk my parents sort of know what we want and my grandparents can't really give me anything and I don't remember bad gifts from elementary school friends. But our family gifted ourselves a guitar which my mom wanted but promptly said that the strings hurt her fingers so probably that. 

What are your future goals?

    Happiness, success, and love. 

Describe your bedroom?

     It's pretty small and the walls are yellow and pink with a sticker tree with birds it's pretty cool. I have a bed, dresser and a lil vanity table that has a lot of random stuff on it. 

Who do you consider the most beautiful woman in the world?

  Lupita Nyong'o, Song Ji Hyo, Ashley Moore, IU, Emma Watson

Who do you consider the most handsome man in the world?

  Taron Egerton, Avan Jogia, Lee Jong Suk, Song Joong Ki, Dave Franco

Favorite thing to do on a hot summers day? 

  Eat ice cream

Favorite thing to do on a snowy winters day? 

  Eat ice cream (but inside)

If you were granted 3 wishes, what would they be?

  To use the popular loophole, wish for more wishes. If that's not the case, my wishes would be: world peace, no need to sleep, and the ability to focus on what I want to without getting distracted.

If you could go back in time to see or change something, when would it be and what would you do?

Well, if it was possible for Riley to get professional help without trying to commit suicide that would be awesome. 

/

Doing the extra credit my freshman year for English so I would get an A instead of a 89. Sitting with someone else in sophomore year math class so it would be entertaining and I could avoid the only B I'm gonna get in math during high school. 

/

Doing something about Ryan my freshman or sophomore year. Doing something about Joey.

/

Regretting less. 

What’s the first thing you think about when you wake up?

  Going back to sleep. 

Do you believe in the after-life?

  Yep.

Where do you see yourself in 10 years time?

  I'll be 27, but that also gives me no sense of time. Probably at a nice office job or graduate school.

What’s the funniest joke you’ve ever been told? 

  Nice shoes, wanna fuck? 

or: This fibonacci joke is as bad as the last two you heard combined

Any hidden talents?

    I once fell asleep while standing. 

Dream job?

  My dream dream job would probably be being a popular actress but also 1) that would never happen and 2) that sounds stressful. So my other dream job is being the position right under the CEO of a very successful company.

Who is your hero?

  you <3

Describe yourself in 3 words: 

  Nice (get it? if not I can explain it to you in discord), smart, passionate

*FAVORITES*

Favorite color? Purple and black

Favorite number? 25

Favorite animal? Pandas and cats.

Favorite sport (to play)? Lol. 

Favorite sport (to watch)? I watch football a lot actually. But have you /seen/ badminton games of professionals it's insane

Favorite Show(s)?

  Too much honestly. KShows: Running Man, the Genius, Problematic Men. Western: Miraculous Ladybug, Misfits, Project Runway and Big Brother as my guilty pleasure

Favorite movies?

  Excluding Disney movies because I love all of them, I highly recommend the Cabin in the Woods, Truman Show, 10 Things I Hate About You, and Old Boy. From there, it's like a tree with tons of movie options.

Favorite band?

  The rubber ones that can change into shapes

jk, the only 'bands' I really like are Kpop, so 2NE1 (rip), BTS, Blackpink and Big Bang.

Favorite song?

  I love Savages by Marina and the Diamonds, Crybaby by Melanie Martinez, and Whistle by Blackpink.

Favorite room in the house?

  My bedroom's pretty cool, I just don't spend a lot of time in there

Favorite food? 

  Chocolate. I also like a large variety of fruit

Favorite drink?

  Apple juice hands down. Besides that, there's this Korean drink called 2% that's really good.

Favorite place?

  Bed? Wizarding World in Orlando Studios, Florida was pretty awesome, and South Korea has some great places. And of course, our expensive home Disney World.

Favorite cartoon character?

  Blossom from Powerpuff girls, Kim Possible from well, ya know, and to continue this trend, Wendy from Gravity Falls.

Favorite day of the week? Saturday.

Favorite day of the year? December 28

Favorite season? Fall

Favorite Holiday? Christmas

Favorite girls name?

  Madison (haha) but I also like the name Victoria. ngl Petrana is a pretty good name too.

Favorite boys name? Ryan

Favorite country? South Korea? Countries are pretty problematic tbh

Favorite smell? Dollar bills ;)

Favorite sound? Fire crackling

Favorite accent? Gonna be stereotypical here and say British.

Favorite Ships (in or our of BDRP)?

  Too much to list in bdrp so I'm just gonna go outside BDRP.  Percy/Annabeth, James/Lily, Spartace (from Running Man), Jungwan/Dukseon (from Reply 1988). I’m not a huge shipper tbh.

Favorite Fandoms? 

  All the fandoms I'm in are basically my favorites (except Gravity Falls to a certain point cuz that fandom has a very big 'weird' side). Disney of course, Harry Potter, PJO/Heroes of Olympus, Miraculous Ladybug (a bit). The Genius, Undertale, Cuphead (to another certain extent I don't play it but man the art is gorgeous), Bright Sessions (!)

*PREFERENCES* Coke or Pepsi? I don't drink either, not a huge fan of fizzy drinks

Pen or Pencil? Pen

Day or Night? Night

Cat or Dog?Cat

Summer or Winter? Winter

T.V. or Radio? Radio (gotta listen to those tunes in the car)

Brains or Beauty? Brains

Cup or Mug? Cup

Tea or Coffee?Tea (i'm not a huge fan of coffee either ngl)

Gold or Silver? Gold

Brush or Comb? Comb

City or Country?City

Early or Late riser? Late late

Blond or Brunette? This is bias against black haired people 😔 so blonde

Scary or Romantic movies? ooOooo idk this one's tough. If it was books it would be romance hands down, but since it's movie I'll say scary

Board or Computer games? Computer games

Half full or Half empty? Half full

  Happy and poor or Sad and rich? man this was tougher than you would think. But since it's based off how I don't think I could actually be 'happy' while poor, I will choose happy and poor. 

Glasses or Contacts? Glasses.

Flowers or Chocolates? Chocolate

Love or Money? Love

Hugs or Kisses? Hugs

~~

And there you have it!

[bey0nd-my-thoughts]

1-99

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

-- Bad at Love // Halsey, Don’t Play // Halsey, Alarm // Anne Marie, Bonfire // Childish Gambino, Deadroses // Blackbear, Jump // Rihanna

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

-- Halsey

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

-- But then someone explained to me: “that’s what editing rooms are for.”

4: What do you think about most?

-- Getting Wrigley soon

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?

-- “I get off at 2 and then could come pick ya up”

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

-- with clothes on

7: What’s your strangest talent?

-- i have no talents lmao

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)

-- Girls are hot af. Boys scare me.

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

-- yea

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?

-- yesterday

11: Do you have any strange phobias?

-- I hate elevators

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

-- yea

13: What’s your religion?

-- i don’t really do much with religious stuff

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

-- going to my jeep or leaving my jeep

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

-- behind it

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

-- not a band but halsey is my love

17: What was the last lie you told?

-- that i wasn’t hungry

18: Do you believe in karma?

-- absolutely

19: What does your URL mean?

-- i think everything i have done in my life or shit that has happened is beyond what i could have ever thought i’d do

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

-- love for both..

21: Who is your celebrity crush?

-- amber heard

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

-- no

23: How do you vent your anger?

-- i smoke weed and get petty af

24: Do you have a collection of anything?

-- not really

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

-- facetime is my fav

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

-- not really

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

-- hate knives on a plate. i love music.

28: What’s your biggest “what if”?

-- a girl i was with end of last year who i fucked over for my shitty ex all because i was at same college as my ex

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

-- yes and no

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

-- right; wall. left; water bottle

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

-- mouthwash

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

-- a college in iowa i hated

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

-- west

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

-- justin bieber

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

-- love

36: Define Art.

-- getting your emotions and thoughts out into the world in a beautiful way

37: Do you believe in luck?

-- yes

38: What’s the weather like right now?

-- 72 and sunny

39: What time is it?

-- 9:10am

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

-- i do, and no but other people have crashed w me in the car. i hate ptsd from an accident and i am a miserable passenger so that’s why i always ask if i can drive places

41: What was the last book you read?

-- i have been reading “if i did it” about OJ Simpson

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

-- yea

43: Do you have any nicknames?

-- tay, tay tay, tator tot, tator thot, twat, tdub, waterfountain

44: What was the last film you saw?

-- i went and saw Rough Night last night

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

-- I broke my cheekbone and eye socket area two years ago on 4th of July playing softball

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?

-- yea

47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

-- halsey’s new album

48: What’s your sexual orientation?

-- lesbian

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

-- yup

50: Do you believe in magic?

-- depends

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

-- yes

52: What is your astrological sign?

-- virgo

53: Do you save money or spend it?

-- save then binge spend

54: What’s the last thing you purchased?

-- a tattoo gun..

55: Love or lust?

-- love

56: In a relationship?

-- nope

57: How many relationships have you had?

-- only one really serious, official one

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

-- no

59: Where were you yesterday?

-- all over going shopping and going to movie 

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

-- yes, my shirt is pink

61: Are you wearing socks right now?

-- yes

62: What’s your favorite animal?

-- dog

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

-- my personality sometimes is pretty great

64: Where is your best friend?

-- one is in wisconsin and one is in arizona

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.

-- i cant name any now

66: What is your heritage?

-- idk

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

-- stick and poke tattoo

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?

-- idk

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

-- nah

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

-- yes bc i go above and beyond for those closest to me

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

-- get my ass fired. i would save the dog

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

-- a) yes ; b) i would travel as much as i could ; c) yes..

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

-- trust. love isn’t anything without trust..

74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

-- jump // rihanna

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

-- 5117

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

-- trust and communication. be my best friend as much as you are my girlfriend

77: How can I win your heart?

-- be honest with me and compliment me sometimes and get along with my family

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?

-- yes

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

-- moving to arizona

80: What size shoes do you wear?

-- 8.5

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

-- something about how i have overcome so much shit in my lifetime

82: What is your favorite word?

-- supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

-- love

84: What is a saying you say a lot?

-- wow

85: What’s the last song you listened to?

-- deadroses // blackbear

86: Basic question; what’s your favorite color/colors?

-- purple

87: What is your current desktop picture?

-- me and two of my friends from asu

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

-- my abusive ex

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

-- “what drugs have you done?”

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

-- ask wtf they are doing there

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

-- fly

92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

-- i went a huge rave festival in arizona and it was the most fun i’ve ever had so i’d go back to that

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

-- everything my ex did to me and also my car crash

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

-- HALSEY

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

-- florida

96: Do you have any relatives in jail?

-- yes but i think he recently got out

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

-- yes

98: Ever been on a plane?

-- yes

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

-- get trump and pence out of the goddamn white house

[schizopagan]

Get to know me... 1) Sexuality? Complicated and unhealthy 
2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? Brandon Boyd
3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17. "-nam War Memorial in Washington D.C. In this very powerful and moving place,"
4) What do you think about most? Freedom from my abuser
5) What does your latest text message from someone else say? "Pravastatin and lock top lock and close door glass"
6) Do you sleep with or without clothes on? With clothes on 
7) What’s your strangest talent? Catching things that suddenly fall before they hit the ground 
8) Girls…. (finish the sentence); Boys…. (finish the sentence) Girls are pretty fucking awesome. Boys can be awesome too, I just wish they were nice.
9) Ever had a poem or song written about you? I wrote a poem about myself in junior high. I was a Christian then. Paint walls white Shut windows tight Feel the room cold as the night Sit still and blow out the light Plunge into abyss Kick down door Trip, fall to floor Lay there, stay there, move no more Be the fool just as before No better than this Must defeat Must rise to meet Bright face shining, peace complete Strength to help thee to thy feet Break from killer's kiss Shining face shall show thee grace Walk with thee at steady pace Stay until you finish race Welcome you to bliss.
10) When is the last time you played the air guitar? I don't think I ever have.
11) Do you have any strange phobias? I have a phobia of being on the phone.
12) Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose? I stuck a small ball up my nose when I was little. Thankfully, it occurred to me to blow it out.
13) What’s your religion? I don't have a religion exactly, but I am into Witchcraft.
14) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? Checking on/watering my plants, or watching the dog
15) Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Behind the camera, definitely
16) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band? Coheed & Cambria. They got me through some seriously hard times.
17) What was the last lie you told? I'm fine.
18) Do you believe in karma? Mmm...I don't know. I think it's hard to obtain evidence of karma, but it's a possibility.
19) What does your URL mean? I have schizoaffective disorder, and I'm a relatively new Pagan.
20) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength? My greatest weakness I can think of is fear of people. I don't know that I have any strengths, other than that I'm still holding on.
21) Who is your celebrity crush? It changes from time to time, but currently it's Kim Namjoon, a Korean rapper. He's not that pretty really, but I love the sound of his voice.
22) Have you ever gone skinny dipping? Nope
23) How do you vent your anger? I hold it in because I can't take it when someone gets mad at me, even if I think I'm right.
24) Do you have a collection of anything? I collect toys that I find laying around.
25) Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? Both freak me the fuck out, but if I had to choose I'd pick the phone.
26) Are you happy with the person you’ve become? I'm happier than I was when I was a Christian, but I'm not sure that really answers the question. I guess I'll say I may be getting there.
27) What’s a sound you hate; sound you love? I hate the sound of my abuser's voice. I love the sound of good melodies and harmonies.
28) What’s your biggest “what if”? What if I'm stuck living with my abuser for the rest of my life?
29) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Ghosts are a possibility, but I've never met one. I do believe in aliens. I think the universe is just too damn vast to have life only on earth.
30) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm. My right arm just feels the air from my fan. My left arm touches the northern wall of my room.
31) Smell the air. What do you smell? I smell my own BO, I haven't had a shower in 3 weeks.
32) What’s the worst place you have ever been to? The King's Academy, where I went to school from Kindergarten to 9th grade
33) Choose East Coast or West Coast? I've never been to the west coast, so I'm stuck with the east coast. I live in south Florida.
34) Most attractive singer of your opposite gender? Do Kyungsoo, another Korean. He may be short, but I do not care. He's beautiful to me, and his voice is amazing.
35) To you, what is the meaning of life? It varies from being to being.
36) Define Art. Definition 1) expression of one's feelings. Definition 2) depiction of one's surroundings. That's about the best I can do, although I get the feeling my definitions fall short.
37) Do you believe in luck? That's a tough one, I really don't know.
38) What’s the weather like right now? 78 degrees, no real breeze, skies partly cloudy 
39) What time is it? 2:23am
40) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed? Yes, and yes. But it was the other girl's fault. I was driving the speed limit going straight through a green light, and the other girl was on the other side making a left turn. She didn't have an arrow, so she was supposed to wait for me. But she didn't see me, and started making her turn when I was right up on her. I slammed the brakes, but it was too late. 
41) What was the last book you read? Striped Ice Cream by Joan M. Lexau 
42) Do you like the smell of gasoline? Yes
43) Do you have any nicknames? Chrissy, Spoo Pooka, Poota, Buttons, Christal Louise
44) What was the last movie you saw? Babies. Such a cute movie
45) What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? Just a knee scrape
46) Have you ever caught a butterfly? Yes
47) Do you have any obsessions right now? Kpop
48) What’s your sexual orientation? I don't quite know...? Like I do find some people attractive, but I have no interest whatsoever in sexual intercourse. 
49) Ever had a rumor spread about you? Yeah, back in middle school I had a rumor spread about me that I was in love with one of my friends. I'm black and he was white, so it was kind of a big deal. Some people thought that the Bible said you weren't supposed to date outside your race, so it was really embarrassing.
50) Do you believe in magic? I've only tried very little, but I still lean toward yes.
51) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? Not with the little things, like if someone ate my food, or borrowed something without asking, stuff like that. But deep pain that lasts for the rest of my life does not get forgiven.
52) What is your astrological sign? Scorpio
53) Do you save money or spend it? Spend it
54) What’s the last thing you purchased? Just some food stuffs from Walmart 
55) Love or lust? Love please
56) In a relationship? I've never even been on a date.
57) How many relationships have you had? 0, big fat ostrich egg
58) Can you touch your nose with your tongue? Nope
59) Where were you yesterday? Home all day
60) Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you? Some pink underwear 
61) Are you wearing socks right now? Always, unless it's absolutely sweltering 
62) What’s your favorite animal? Cats, domestic and feral
63) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you? Kindness 
64) Where is your best friend? You mean my older sister? Either at her house, or at her boyfriend's house
65) Spit or swallow?(; Spit or swallow what? Saliva? Swallow, I think spitting saliva is gross unless you have a cold and can't stop salivating.
66) What is your heritage? Well I'm basically African American, but I don't know what African country my ancestors were from. I was also told that my family has Cherokee in our blood, but I can't verify that.
67) What were you doing last night at 12 AM? I was either trying to sleep, or I was checking all my social media.
68) What do you think is Satan’s last name? According to Christianity, which I think is where Satan came from, he used to be an angel, and they didn't have last names. Or do you mean a human that I think is really evil? I couldn't choose just one.
69) Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off? You can't ask me that!
70) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend? I suppose so, I think I'm alright.
71) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do? Assuming I can swim? Save the dog, of course! It's hard to imagine though, because dogs are generally good swimmers. Right?
72) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid? I would probably end up telling my mom. I think I would just live my last days normally. I would only be afraid if death was going to be painful. I have a very low pain threshold.
73) You can only have one of these things; trust or love. I trust no one, so I guess I'll take love.
74) What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? Between the Rent and Me by...Snowden? I forget who it's by.
75) What are the last four digits in your cell phone number? Now why would you need to know that?
76) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship? I want trust, love, and longevity.
77) How can I win your heart? Smile at me genuinely in a way that is neither creepy nor flirtatious. This tells me that I have your positive attention, and that you are not a threat. Give me a compliment that is neither creepy nor flirtatious. This is just more normal-person treatment for me, and if I believe you it'll make me feel really good. Don't be a Christian, you will lose my trust immediately. Be somewhere in between smart and stupid. You can have a talent, but you better not be a genius. I could go on...
78) Can insanity bring on more creativity? Define "insanity" first.
79) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far? Quitting Christianity 
80) What size shoes do you wear? 11
81) What would you want to be written on your tombstone? Oh I don't care about that.
82) What is your favorite word? I like the sound of the word "androgynous".
83) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart. Break
84) What is a saying you say a lot? "Change is the only constant."
85) What’s the last song you listened to? BTS Cypher 4. Yes, it's Korean. 
86) Basic question; what’s your favorite color/colors? Deep purple, and deep green
87) What is your current desktop picture? The Atlantic Ocean 
88) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be? My abuser
89) What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on? Number 69
90) One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do? Pass out
91) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power? Invisibility 
92) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again? The moment when I became the fastest runner in my Kindergarten class
93) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? Can I erase my whole childhood? Oh wait no, wouldn't wanna erase the day I became the fastest runner in my Kindergarten class...
94) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be? I don't want to have sex so...if we were just going to have a slumber party I guess I'd give Brandon Boyd a shot.
95) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? NYC. Can I take my sister?
96) Do you have any relatives in jail? My uncle went to jail once. If I remember correctly, he was trying to steal some sea turtle eggs.
97) Have you ever thrown up in the car? Yes, but it wasn't car sickness, it was having taken my antipsychotic without food.
98) Ever been on a plane? Yes
99) If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say? Good morning! My name is Christal B- and I'm looking for a friend. I am: schizoaffective, a budding Witch, black, shy, introverted, in school part time pursuing an AS in Environmental Science, unemployed, living with my parents, a little chubby, 5'7", punkish, emotionally sensitive, and overall fairly decent I would say. I have: a learning disability, athsma, a car, no pets, and no children. I like: plants, animals (wild and domestic), food, books, traveling, MUSIC, clothes, art, and thunderstorms. I dislike: sports, sex, drugs, and alcohol. I'm serious. I'd like you to be: kind, understanding, reasonably intelligent, and interested in some of the same things. If you have any questions please ask, and if you think we might get along please contact me. I can be found on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, and Tumblr. Thank you for taking the time to listen, and have a wonderful day.

[toomanysurveys9]

Coffee mugs, teacups, or water bottles? Shot glasses. If I had to pick out of these three, though, probably coffee mugs. Even though I don’t drink nearly enough coffee to make buying many worth it. Bubblegum or cotton candy? Depends what it is if you mean flavoring. If you mean actual candy, bubblegum. How did your elementary school teachers describe you? Quiet, but a good student. I did extremely well in school. The only subject I really struggled with was math. Do you prefer to drink soda from cans, bottles or cups? I don’t care. Earbuds or headphones? Earbuds for sure.

Movies or TV? TV shows usually. Favorite smell in the summer? Freshly mowed grass, but I’m allergic. Game you were best at in P.E./gym? I hated P.E. I wasn’t very good at any of the games that I recall. What do you have for breakfast on an average day? Cold cereal, if I even eat breakfast. Name of your favorite playlist? My songs for Wy and Ellie on Spotify. Lanyard or key ring? Lanyard, but I have a key ring. Favorite non-chocolate candy? Lately, laffy taffy. Which is weird. Favorite book you had to read for school? To Kill a Mockingbird actually. Most comfortable position to sit in? I don’t know.

Most frequently worn pair of shoes? Under armor ones. Ideal weather? Cool enough for a sweater, but not overly so. A little rain never hurts either. Pencils or pens? Pens, generally. Unless it’s something I might make a lot of mistakes on. Then I prefer pencils, of course. Obsession from childhood? I don’t know. As a child I loved books. Barbies when I was quite a bit younger. Favorite crystal? I don’t have any. Favorite activity to do in warm weather? Stay in the A/C and read a book. Lol. Or go to the lake and go swimming. Take my kiddos to the park or the zoo. Favorite activity to do in cold weather? Sleep. Movie day with the kiddos. Five songs to describe you? They’d all be sad songs right now. Best way for someone to bond with you? Oh boy. Uhh. Get drunk with me? Or play dates with our kids? Top 5 favorite Vines? I don’t have any favorite vines. I never really got into them. Ads you have stuck in your head? None currently. Average time you fall asleep? Way too late. I try to be in bed by 10:30 during the week, but it takes forever to actually fall asleep. What is the first meme you remember seeing? I don’t know. There have been so many. They all sort of blur together. Suitcase, duffel bag, or backpack? I usually use a backpack. Unless it’s a pretty long trip.. Then we all just use our giant duffel bag. Lemonade or tea? Lemonade. Tea hurts my stomach. Last person you texted? Either Jacob or Jade. Probably Jade? Jacket pockets or pants pockets? Pants, because I usually take my jacket off. Favorite type of jacket? I don’t really care for jackets. I prefer hoodies. Favorite scent for soap? I have so many I love from Bath and Body Works! My top two favorites are probably watermelon lemonade and pumpkin cupcake. I think those are their names. Sci-fi, fantasy, or superheroes? It’s a toss up between fantasy and superheroes. I love Marvel, but I also love fantasy things. What clothes do you sleep in? Depends. Sometimes I wear pajama pants and a tshirt, and other times I wear boy shorts and a tshirt. Favorite type of cheese? Depends what I am using it for. If I’m eating it by itself, Colby jack.  What saying or quote do you live by? Always keep fighting. What are you currently stressed about? Life in general. We need to get caught up on bills. Plus Christmas. Plus our Florida trip is going to be here before we know it. And that’s not even mentioning the emotional bullshit I have going on right now. Favorite font? I don’t know anymore. What did you learn from your first job? That I hated working in the food industry, with a passion. Especially fast food. Favorite fairy tale? I like the Grimm ones. Favorite tradition? I started doing Elf on a Shelf with my kids. That can be fun. Talent you’re proud of having? I don’t know. I used to be okay at singing but I stopped for so long, I don’t think I can anymore. If you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? "Fuck.” HA. If you were an anime character, what genre of anime would it be? I am not really into anime so I couldn’t tell ya. Character you relate to? Sam Winchester. Favorite website from your childhood? Myspace I guess. Any scars? I have one on my right elbow from my time at McDonald’s. A shift manager pushed me into a fryer I had just pulled out. And then I got yelled at for taking too long to care for it. It was one hell of a blister. Easily a second degree burn. Favorite flower? Lilacs. Any good luck charms? Nope. Least favorite flavor of food or drink? Fishy flavors for foods, or super spicy. And for drinks.. black licorice. I guess that flavor also counts for food too. Left or right handed? I am right handed. Least favorite pattern? I don’t know. Any that look too old lady-ish I guess. I know. It’s very subjective, but it’s the best answer I got. Worst subject in school? Math or chemistry.  Favorite weird flavor combo? I don’t know. When I was pregnant, I liked nacho cheese Doritos with BBQ sauce. I can’t think of any weird combos I currently like. When did you lose your first tooth? I don’t know. I was probably six years old or so. Favorite potato food? Either fried potatoes my mom makes, or mashed potatoes. Gas station coffee or grocery store sushi? I don’t eat sushi, so coffee it is. Earth tones or jewel tones? Earth for the most part. Do you call them fireflies or lightning bugs? lightening bugs. PC or console gaming? Consoles. Although I’m not much of a gamer. Writing or drawing? Writing. I can’t draw to save my life. Podcasts or talk radio? Barbie or Polly Pocket? Fairy tales or mythology? More specifically, Greek mythology.

Cookies or cupcakes? Your greatest fear? Something happening to my babies. Your greatest wish? Be the best mom I can, and for my babies to know I love them more than anything and did the best I could. Who would you put before everyone else? My kids. Lamps, overhead lights, fairy lights, or sunlight? Overhead I guess. Nicknames? Marley, Marley Harley, and Lina are the most frequently used ones. Favorite season? Spring. Favorite app on your phone? Probably Tumblr or Pinterest. What is your desktop background? My kids, of course. How many phone numbers do you have memorized? Three? Favorite historical era?

Like ancient Egypt or Greece.

[mchenryjd]

2017 in Review

Necessarily incomplete, mostly for my personal record. I will probably regret this.

MOVIES

10.  mother!

Got to a screening late, had to sit in the third show, could barely tell what was happening and spent most of the movie staring at J. Law’s flared nostrils. An ideal viewing experience.

9.     Personal Shopper

Nothing captures the purposeful emptiness of spending time online like Kristen Stewart texting a ghost.

8.     Get Out

I kept telling my dad this movie was funny to get him to see it, not realizing he didn’t already know it was a horror movie. Afterwards, he texted me, “that was not a comedy!” Feels like that’s enough a metaphor. Daniel Kaluuya for best actor.

7.     Star Wars: The Last Jedi

A Star Wars movie about loving Star Wars movies, which means loving the epic, silly struggle between good and epic, loving the spiral staircase that is John Williams’s force theme, loving it when character always do the coolest possible thing followed by the next coolest possible thing, loving dumb furry creatures and sarcastic slimy ones, loving it when characters kiss when you want them to kiss, loving the hundred-million-dollar sandbox of it all. After the constricted dance steps of The Force Awakens and Rogue One, give me this bleeding freestyle any day.

6.     Phantom Thread

Finally, proof that everyone in a serious relationship has lost it.

5.     Call Me By Your Name

I refuse to believe that being stuck in rural Italy would be anything other than deadly boring and if my father insisted on turning everything into a lecture on classical art, I would run away. Also, there’s a contrast between the book (vague on the details of place and time, vividly specific on matters of sex) and the film (more contextually specific, sexier, but less horny than the original). Also, who am I kidding, I was moved and unsettled by the force of the thing. *Michael Stuhlbarg voice* Pray you get a chance to fall in love like this.

4.     Dunkirk

Having your tense, churning, clanking, thrumming, score transform into Elgar right when the beautiful, imperiled young heroes are reading a stirring speech (and Tom Hardy is heroically sacrificing himself in what looks like the middle of a Turner painting) is a level of craft so deft if feels like cheating, but it works.

3.     BPM

A film about a community in danger that acts as both a memorial to and rallying cry for that community. Uncompromising, accommodating, queer in the best way, BPM makes you want to cry and go dancing at the same time.

2.     Columbus

The kind of movie that makes you want to get in a car and keep driving until you find something beautiful, it has stuck and expanded in my memory ever since I saw it over the summer. Like the architecture that looms large in the setting, the plot can feel uncomfortably schematic – John Cho wants to leave and gets  stuck, Haley Lu Richardson is stuck and gets to leave. The question is how people live within, and blur the edges of, those confines. John Cho has a winning, curdled decency; Haley Lu Richardson gives the hardest kind of performance, in that she often seems unaware of her character’s own wants. I’d watch her quietly assemble dinner for hours on end.

1.     Lady Bird  

A movie that feels less plotted and more prefigured – every fight between Lady Bird has happened before, every high school landmark lumbers by with inevitability, every boy disappoints in the way you expect. What redeems all this? Paying attention, which is also love, in this movie’s pseudo-religious sense. Between Lady Bird and Marion, between Lady Bird and Julie, between Lady Bird and Sacramento. Watch people closely, as Greta Gerwig does, and they reveal glimmers of themselves (I know so little, and yet everything, about Stephen McKinley Henderson’s drama teacher from a few moments that feel perfect, in the sense of contained, past-tense completeness). It’ll all so ordinary. Fall in love with it.

Honorable mentions: Regina Hall’s speech about friendship in Girls Trip, Sally Hawkins tracing a droplet with her finger in The Shape of Water, Meryl Streep on the phone in The Post, Cara Delevingne in Valerian, Rihanna in Valerian, the part where the ghost jumped off the building in A Ghost Story, the fact that Power Rangers was surprisingly good, the soldier who gasps as Diana whips out her hair in the trenches in Wonder Woman, Ansel Elgort’s jacket in Baby Driver, whenever anyone tried to explain anything in Alien: Covenant, Elisabeth Moss in The Square, Anh Seo-hyun feeding Okja in Okja, Lois Smith being in movies, the kids eating ice cream in The Florida Project, the Game of Thrones joke in Logan Lucky, Vella Lovell in The Big Sick, and finally, most preciously, the moment in Home Again where Reese Witherspoon kissed Michael Sheen and someone in my theater shouted “she’s not feeling it!”

TELEVISION

10.  The Good Doctor

Listen, he’s a good doctor.

9.     Riverdale

They’re hot. They’re angsty. They do drugs that look like Pixy-Stix. They never seem to do homework. They love to hook-up in weird locations. They have terrible taste in karaoke songs. They love hair dye, and a well-defined eyebrow. They have really hot parents. They’re TV teens! I love it.

8.     Insecure

This is just to say that I am far too invested in Molly’s happiness as a person. I would also like to view a full season of Due North.

7.     American Vandal

From Alex Trimboli to Christa Carlyle, the best names on TV are on this show. Also the best reenactments, and somehow the most incisive take on what fuels, and results from TV’s true-crime obsession. Jimmy Tatro mumbling!

6.     Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

More shows should take the opportunity to explode in their third seasons, rocket forward at full speed, diagnose their main characters, and give Josh Groban wonderful, unexplainable cameos.

5.     Alias Grace

A show that conjured a performance for the ages out of Sarah Gadon and somehow made Zachary Levi palatable as a dramatic actor, this miracle of collaboration between Mary Harron and Sarah Polley is all the better for being binged. Down it in an afternoon, think of Grace under her black veil, daring you to disbelieve her, for years to come.

4.     Twin Peaks: The Return

A show that drove nostalgia into itself like a knife to the chest. Totally absurd. The best revival/exorcism yet on TV.

3.     Please Like Me

“Sorry about your life.” “I’m sorry about your life.” In a time when things tend to peter out, what a final season, in which everything goes to shit and then some. Maybe TV’s most prickly comedy, Please Like Me’s heart is of the “stumble along and keep going” sort and never does it test itself as much as it did with this bleak, pastel final statement.

2.     The Leftovers

Do you believe Nora Durst’s story? Sometimes I do. Sometimes I think it sounds ridiculous. Sometimes I relax in the comfortable, academic premise that it only matters that Kevin does. It’s a haunting idea, though, this image of world even emptier than The Leftovers’s own, where it’s possible to wander for untold time in darkness. Carrie Coon’s description of it is a kind of journey to the underworld – we’re there with her, maybe, and then we make it back, maybe. The trick of The Leftovers is the wound’s never fully healed.

1.     Halt and Catch Fire

The world changes. People sorta don’t.

Honorable mentions: the twist in The Good Place, the Taylor Swift demon character in Neo Yokio, Claire Foy on The Crown, Vanessa Kirby on The Crown, the stand-up in The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Cristin Milioti in Black Mirror, the televised Academy Awards ceremony, the weeks when Netflix didn’t release new TV shows I had to watch, Girls’s “American Bitch,” the fact that Adam Driver is both in Girls and Star Wars, Keri Russell and Matthew Rhys performances on The Americans (and life in Brooklyn), the moments in Game of Thrones that were good enough to make me stop thinking about what people would write about Game of Thrones, season 2 of The Magicians’s resistance to any sort of plot logic, Jane the Virgin’s narrator, Nicole Kidman at therapy on Big Little Lies, Reese Witherspoon’s production of Avenue Q in Big Little Lies, Alexis Bledel holding things in The Handmaid’s Tale, Maggie Gyllenhaal directing porn in The Deuce, Alison Brie’s terrible Russian accent in Glow, Maya Rudolph in Big Mouth, Cush Jumbo miming oral sex with a pen in court in The Good Fight, the calming experience of watching new episodes of Superstore and Great News on Fridays, Eden Sher in The Middle, the fake books they make up for Younger, and Rihanna livestreaming herself watching Bates Motel.

THEATER

10.  Indecent

History, identity, community all mangled together in something that’s both excavation and revivification. I’m so mad I didn’t get to see it with my mom.

9.     Mary Jane

A nightmare that goes from bad to worse, which Carrie Coon performed with the endurance of a saint.

8.     SpongeBob SquarePants

Highlights: The tap number, the Fiddler on the Roof joke, the many uses of pool noodles, David Zinn’s design in general, the arms, the volcano setpiece, the fact that somehow I kept laughing for two-and-a-half hours at something SpongeBob SquarePants. Tina Landau, you’re a hero.

7.     Hello, Dolly!

I had a wonderful viewing experience like this, in that I sat alone on an aisle next to an older gay man who turned to me right when the curtain came down on the first act and said, “man, we love Bette.” (Shout out to any and all gags involving the whale.)

6.     Groundhog Day

Proof you can dig deeper into the material you’re adapting and still find more. Sometimes, the funniest gags come out of old-fashioned repetition. Andy Karl has the Rolex-like ability to make it all speed by without revealing any of the ticks, and then wallop you in the second act.  

5.     The Glass Menagerie

A lot of unconventional ideas piled onto each other that go so far into strange territory that they loop back around to being immediate. Maybe distant to some, but enough to unsettle me. I can still smell the onstage rain.

4.     The Wolves

A sign of a good play is probably that you remain invested in the characters long after you see it, and I’m going to spend so much time worrying about all the girls on the soccer team in The Wolves for the rest of my life.

3.     The Band’s Visit

Katrina Lenk has a gorgeous voice. Tony Shalhoub is restrained to the point that he could move his baton with nanometer accuracy. The songs are transporting. But most of all, The Band’s Visit manages to capture loneliness better than nearly any musical I’ve seen. Everyone, audience included, experiences something together, and then it all, slowly, both lingers and drifts apart.

2.     A Doll’s House, Part 2

What, you think I wasn’t going to include a play with a Laurie Metcalf performance? ADHP2 is perhaps clever to a fault in its set-up, but in the right hands, it turns into something both funny and moving – a story about what it takes to become a complete person, in or outside the influence of other people. Nora’s monologue about living in silence near the end is the full of the kind of simple statements that are so hard to act, and so brilliant when done just right.

1.     The Antipodes

Both an extended meditation on what it means to run out of stories and a brutal subtweet of Los Angeles, The Antipodes is my kind of play, in that it’s mostly people talking, Josh Charles is involved and very disgruntled, and everyone eats a lot of take out.

Honorable mentions: the music in Sunday in the Park With George, the pies in Sweeney Todd, the ensemble of Come From Away, seeing Dave Malloy in The Great Comet of 1812, Alex Newell’s “Mama Will Provide” in Once on This Island, Cate Blanchet having fun in The Present, Imelda Staunton in the NTLive Follies, Michael Urie in Torch Song, Patti LuPone’s accent(s) in War Paint, Ashley Park in KPOP, and Gleb.