#Alzheimer’s tw

[hmslusitania]

Listening to a Bastille song the first time: hell yeah! This is a bop! I’m in! I am vibing!

Listening to that same Bastille song the fifth time: I think this is about Alzheimer’s

[thelightofthingshopedfor]

…well fuck, just found out my grandma finally got an official Alzheimer’s diagnosis.

[theosconfessions]

if youd like to read the stephens from the beginning you can over here:)

if youd like to read the stephens continued you can over here:)

@ohsosims

theo: thanks for taking me lils. dustys kinda swamped with the babies..everything.. last thing he needed was to hear all that shit.

lillie: all that shit is your health, theo. im sure he wouldnt have minded.plus he shouldve been there. as much as we joke about it.act like it. im not your wife,theo..and that was..heavy news.

theo: thats why i didnt him there.i knew it wasnt going to be great. BUT

lillie: no but theo. not on this

theo: the last time something like this happened..my husband got so stressed out he had a stroke. im trying to avoid that. he knows somethings going on lillie... with my memory..all of it BUT

lillie: honey i get that. but this is your LIFE..and he is going to be the one taking care of you when

theo: if

lillie: if..this gets even worse...im going to be blunt here..because thats the only way i know youre going to hear me, okay. so dont be mad.

theo: k well .. in general im always angry but sure.

lillie: you do not have a for sure diagnosis yet

theo: no

lillie: but i feel like you KNOW something is wrong.

theo: i do but the doctors not even sure yet

lillie:but he has a good idea that it may very well be alzheimers

theo: or i could just be going senile.. normally.. which is fun. both great news

lillie:nothing about your memory loss is normal,theo. tell your husband..before it gets worse...

theo: you dont know that it will. im good

lillie: theo be realistic. just this once. for dustin. for me. for OUR kids together too. prepare just in case

theo: just in case..ok

[the-friendly-entity]

[ ~"Service Digimons"~ ] - Digimon

A Company as saw interest in the Digimons as they could work for special works to help humans! they closely analyze each Digimon with no exception of who could work to help humans in different situations and health circumstance, Once the analysis/investigation and Training and modified Data as been made to these Digimon, they start working on help specific humans!

What contains? Sensitive Content, Mention of Death, Mention of Depression, Mention of Illness, Mention of Suicide

Can be visualized as? Guardians/Caretakers

Grizzlymon - Allergy Detector

-If the Tamer suffers allergy to fur, this Digimon (or other fur kind) is not given, but if is good to go, he does an amazing job detecting his surroundings and objects that are dangerous to his Tamer

-Are you allergic to some specific stuff? specific kinds of plants, fabrics, ingredients, and materials?, etc, this Digimon will keep his nose on alert to detect anything you are dangerous of!

-Grizzlymon will always keep you away from what hurt you and do an allergy reaction, someone offering you food? nope! he will be on the way and avoid the food touch or you smell it if he find it have something is a no no or the food in general is dangerous for you

-if sadly you get an Allergy reaction, he always has a small backpack with the medicine needed to stop it in time! if the Allergy gets soo much into your system he will fastly get you to the nearest hospital as fast as possible

Angemon - Alzheimer

-This Digimon is perfect if you suffer of a memory loss, and always makes sure you feel safe and never lost or disoriented, being around Angemon always know you will feel safe

-You forgot something? very important? Angemon is always there to remind you, or always remind you ahead before anything important, even if you lose track in the middle of nowhere he always reminds you what was you doing

-You forgot yourself? dont freak out, Angemon will be there to remind you who you are, with a lot of videos, photos, and anything that would make you click back to remember

-Angemo is your guardian angel and will be there to never forget, even if you forget stuff, you will still feel safe, knowing Angemon is there to help you, his safe aura always make you know you will never be lost

Antylamon - Guardian

-Such a big bunny protector! Antylamon is one of the best Digimon to help humans who need to keep an eye on their health due they are very fragile if they break their own limits without noticed

-What I'm referring too? expressing their emotions too much, too happy, too angry, too sad, anything is too much of they health and heart, Antylamon will be there to calm them down to avoid they health is in danger

-If they Tamer is too excited running around, Antylamon will be there to gently put his hand on the way and keep him calm, having a hard time almost like a time bomb is going to blow due how much sadness feels, Antylamon carefully cuddles with you and try to keep you clam as possible, you are in you right to cry, but do it carefully, Antylamon is worried about you!

-Antylamon will be always in your side to make sure you are in a calm state, you dont overwork yourself and you dont hurt yourself by accident, Antylamon understands if you feel limited, and will make sure you dont feel that way, will always find a way you enjoy without that feeling of be limited

ToyAgumon - Autims/ADHD

-A perfect cutie one to such Tamers! there will always joy around this little fella! you would never feel uncomfortable or weird, accepted and always belong to someone!

-ToyAgumon is perfect to help you feel safe, loud sounds? he will warn ya!, Things you can't understand? he got you! hard to keep track of things? he will give a hand! hard to socialize? dont worry! he will your voice!

-If the voices in your head are too much to take it, he will cuddle with you and be the only voice you can hear, you are close to having a meltdown? no no! he will make sure that does not happen! sure to act fast before it happens!

-He also make sure you dont overwork yourself or dont overthink yourself, you are safe! its ok!, ToyAgumon due is a block toy he the perfect toy you can use, always take him apart and put him back together! even make something new! he dont mind, as long you happy!

Oleamon - Blindness

-One of the perfect Digimons who help people who can't see! due to her long arms, can always have close and you always know she is near you, always guide you where you need to go!

-Even if the two go separate, she can emit her aroma and you will always know where to go to find her! and Oleamon can do the same, use her tongue to move in the air to try to find your scent to find you!

-You always will be protected, from any insect to anything around you that could hurt you, she always tries to describe you a vision of around you if you ask or if is necessary, mostly she will say it if she sees the place have full of stuff or have a dangerous stuff she point ou so make sure you know!

-Even is scared for others see Oleamon, that was the intention, blind people can't see a scary thing but others do, was intentionally made so people dont try to do anything funny to you, Oleamon will scarry for others but always an angel for you!

Strabimon - Deaf

-A lot of Digimon have this role, and Strabimon is no exception! With his big hands, he can help you communicate and let you know anything that is happening! you will not miss anything that others are saying!

-Is amazing to communicate, if someone wants to talk but does not know how to do sign language, Strabimon is a big help to help both sides, you with sign language and what the person is saying, and the person to translate what you are saying in sign language

-He can even describe things you dont know how sound, and music? he would tell you the meaning of the lyrics and how the music "feels", same as another kind of sounds like wood and such

-He will be the first one to take action fast if he hears something dangerous, a car coming so fast? or an explosion? anything you cant hear he fastly takes you and puts you in a safe place, of course, explaining to you what happened, you always have for sure Strabimon is there to keep you safe in a muted world

Beelzemon - Lupus (this also applies to any other kind of risk Illness)

-Dont get me wrong, when almost all digimons can help to service humans to help them, I mean it, Beelzemon is no exception to this, being a guardian to does people who have almost death sentences

-He always has his jacket full of medicine, and always knows what time you need to drink your medicine or you need to take it due to unexpected attacks, he wants you to stay in home, but he understands why his purpose, to at least bring freedom and happiness in such heavy situation

-You are mostly on his motorcycle, always slow while you are outside, rare times you can be down and walk around, mostly places Beelzemon knows you can be safe without much risk, of course, always remind you or stop you if you put you life in danger

-the good thing about having a motorcycle is if you are suffering a horrible attack and medicine is not helping, he can go fast to the nearest hospital to take you to emergency, of course, he always makes sure the way to the hospital is safe

Puppetmon - Paralysis

-Puppetmon is a good companion with people who suffer who paralysis! can be not really heavy paralysis or complete paralysis, in either case, he is there to help!

-He will help with things you can't do, put your clothes on? eat? take a bath? anything you need you cant do he will help you, he make sure to you dont think you weak for be that way, is not your fault and never will

-the choice was not randomly, thanks to Puppetmon wires he can help paralysis people to try to move, any part of the body cant move, will do small training session, using you as a puppet but for help you your body move, carefully and make sure you are not hurt

-if the small training session is working out, seeing the result your body slowly is responding back to your orders, Puppetmon will let you do the work to you get better, he will continue helping you, but will be less and less as see things are getting better, and mostly he happy and proud of you are recovering!

Swanmon - Parental Figure

-This Digimon is perfect you ever loss a parental figure or never have a parent, Swanmon will be that parental figure you never have, always make you feel welcome and love you as you was her child all along

-She will be your voice of reason, helping you in decisions a parental figure always do, always asking you about your day, if you are ok, you need something? she made you some snacks!

-You can always count she will be there if you need to cry a shoulder, dont feel ashamed, she there for you and to hear you, helping you and clean does tears, she always make sure you are ok to cry

-Never feel ashamed of having Swammon as your Service Digimon, everyone deserves to have a parental figure, no matter how independent you are, family is part of everyone's life, and is ok to depend on them sometimes

Monzaemon - Depression

-Monzaemon is one of the popular Digimon when comes to depression! a very carrying Digimon, always make sure you are happy and mostly accepted! is almost like being near him you space out of the horrible world

-Monzaemon will slow with you, helping you part of part what is the cause of your depression, what are the things you are that way and try to fix it, if are things is out of his hand he try to change it to better things or found solucions in long term will be fix! anything of could be, will find a way to fix it

-He will advoid anything could be dangerous, knifes very high place, things can be use as a White weapon, High places and such is a big no no, you will always have a ballon on your back, mostly to Monzaemon keep track of you and if you even try to jump on a high place, welp, enjoy floating until you arrive to the floor

-He only uses his attack ´Heart Attacks´ if is need it, if you was going to do something very dangerous he cant stop you right there, using Heart Attacks to keep you inside of the heart bubble and having only happy feelings, to prevent you to do a mistake you will regret

[scpaesthetics]

SCP Aesthetics: 3890 (requested by @dewnose2, written by @tanhony)

My name is Elizabeth Graham. My name is Elizabeth Graham. My name is Elizabeth Graham. I can't forget that now. This page is my memory. (blue, memory, doubles)

requests are open.

[coffinup]

Relief in Grief: Is it ok to be glad they're gone?

Grief, especially in western society, is a complicated thing. In the U.S. especially, we have certain expectations when it comes to the death of a family member, friend or loved one. There's an odd dichotomy of "feel bad, but don't feel too bad because it makes people uncomfortable, don't grieve for too long because you have to go back to work, but also if you don't grieve you're weird or deranged." It feels like there's no winning. As a result, a lot of people don't really know how to grieve. A lot of people frame their grief around other people's expectations of how they SHOULD be grieving. A lot of times it can depend on your relationship with the person that died. You're expected to be devastated by the death of a spouse, a parent, a child, or a significant other.

But what if, accompanied with sadness, there's also a sense of... a weight off? Maybe that person was suffering from an illness for a long time, or had a slow decline. Maybe that took a lot of time, emotional effort, money, and resources out of you. From visits to the hospital or care center, to bills, to remembering to remind them to take their medication, to making sure they were simply not lonely. Or maybe you had a strained relationship with that person, and now you're realizing you don't have to fight that battle or walk on eggshells anymore.

When my grandma developed Alzheimer's which progressed into dementia, it was a long and slow decline until her eventual passing. With each subsequent month, my mom took more trips to see her, and had to spend more time and energy to make sure her mom was taken care of and comfortable. It was also an emotionally taxing time, since my grandma was very resistant to being placed in a care center, and then to a memory care facility, and then hospice. There were times when she was mean; she had sundowning pretty bad. She started to forget more and more people, daily activities, and even basic skills. In the end, she could only remember my mom's name, and nothing else. Watching her mother decline was brutal on my mom, but she still did everything she could for her.

When grandma eventually passed, I could feel it, we all could. The relief of "She's finally not suffering, we're finally done taking care of her. We can finally move on with our lives." and no one really wanted to talk about it. Because we should feel sad right? And we were, we remembered all the great times with her, her funny and snarky personality before she got Alzheimer's, her cooking, her intricate crochet creations, her love of the Iowa Hawkeyes, the Christmas parties, and how all of that was gone now, in the past. At the same time, the way she was in the end was hard, it was frustrating, and it was emotionally and physically taxing. And you know what?

It's ok that we were relieved it was over. It's ok that we felt both sad and glad. Because we all did what we could for her till the very end, and that's all any of us could do.

When the death of a loved one is inevitable, we often stretch ourselves thin to make sure we make every moment count. We get anticipatory grief, and that can make the weight feel much heavier. It's worse if, like in the case of my grandma, we slowly see that person becoming someone very different from what we remembered. That person can become mean because they're confused, they don't understand what's happening to them. They can become detached or non-verbal as their mind and body slowly degrades. Or maybe they were always a difficult person to deal with, and their antemortem period is all the more strained.

When people feel like they're not allowed to express their true thoughts or feelings, it can complicate the grief process. Death is natural, but it's also complex, because people are complex.

I cannot tell you how many people's posture loosens dramatically when I say "It's ok to feel however you're feeling, it's ok to feel some relief now that it's over". Because so many people think they need to put on a certain image for everyone else.

When you're in a position like my mom was, where she was one of the only people who really was close to grandma in her final days, it can feel like no one else really understands. No one else got to go through the verbal abuse, the anger, frustration, and fear. They were allowed to remember grandma how she was. She and so many other people who go through something like that feel like if they complain at all, that it's disrespectful to the memory of that person who died.

But each grief journey is unique, and each relationship is different. If you can, find a person who you can express your true feelings to about the situation. For some people, that person is going to be the funeral director. Someone who sees so many different types of people, grief stories, and types of death. And that's ok. When you're in arrangements, it's ok to say "I'm glad they're not suffering anymore. I just want this whole thing to be over so I can move on."

That's also why having a viewing can be helpful; you get to see that person one last time, peaceful and at rest. But I'll save that topic for another post.

It's ok to feel many different things at once. Because humans are complex, we can feel sad and relieved at the same time. We can feel pain and joy simultaneously, hurt and comfort. Allow yourself all of those feelings, find someone who you can talk to in confidence about them. If you didn't have a good relationship with the person that died, tell a friend, write it down in a journal, express it to the funeral director. Have a private channel that you can get that feeling out into the open, acknowledge it, sit with it, and move through it. And take comfort in the freedom and relief that brings.

If any of you out there would like more resources on coping with grief and loss, Talk Death has many articles and links to things that can help. I'm not affiliated with them, but I find them to be an extremely useful and encouraging resource for helping with these heavy topics, as well as education around death, dying and everything that goes with it. Funeral homes also will sometimes have a counselor on staff that you can talk to, or at least a referral for one. If you have the time and monetary means, these people can be extremely helpful. Or maybe you'll feel more comfortable with an End of Life Doula, who can help you navigate the aftermath. These people are not licensed counselors, but they can connect you to resources, give you guidance through your grief, and help you through the next steps.

Remember to be kind to yourself, and to not feel like you have to conform to other people's expectations of how you should feel.

Love and hugs to you all.

-Memento Mori-

[roboticnebula]

Trick or treat!

You get a… trick?

This is a snippet from a fic concept I’m exploring but still hesitant to actually write! It started out as a silly ‘Barry and Jay are in a passive-aggressive argument and Alan and Hal do not understand how is it the speedsters are fighting instead of them’. And then it got... sad.

Background AlanJay and Halbarry.

Jay is aware he and Barry are arguing over two barely distinguishable shades of beige paint for the guest room, but their fight isn’t really about the paint color anyways. Alan and Hal made themselves scarce a few hours ago, the moment Jay commented he didn’t want his guest room to be the same shade as Barry’s sweater vests, and Barry immediately retorted it was a good thing Jay wouldn’t actually be the one sleeping in the room then.

This was after a long debate over paint swatches, where both Alan and Hal’s inputs that the room should have a nice non-beige color, had gone entirely unheard. The lanterns had realized they were standing in the blast zone and been unwilling to risk becoming collateral damage. Jay is glad to see that after all these long years with them, the GLs are finally starting to be smart about the whole fearless thing.  

It’s a good thing they left when they did too, because paint started flying quickly after. The walls of the guest room are absolutely atrocious right now, randomly sploshed with paint and primer, a whole gallon wasted and spilled all over the floor, but Barry and Jay have retreated to the kitchen to wash up and calm down. Jay is leaning against the counter, waiting for the water to boil for his tea. He’s got paint in his hair, but hasn’t bothered to try and get it off, only rolled up his sleeves and washed his hands. Barry is very quiet as he scrubs his arms and forehead free of the paint, his annoyance is palpable in the air, and Jay doesn’t know why he’s so irritated when he insisted on helping out with repainting the room.

Barry won’t leave him alone these days, it’s annoying.

“Did you go get that extra gallon from the garage, yet?” Jay asks him, gruffly.

Something flashes in Barry’s eyes: sad, scared, quickly buried, and Jay realises it’s not the first time he’s asked.

“Yes,” says Barry.

For the first time all day, his tone is light and neutral, instead of passive aggressive, and the patience behind it annoys Jay even more, a flush of rage crawling up his throat. The phone is deadly quiet on the countertop between them, and Jay vacillates between grateful and irritated that Barry is handling him with kid gloves.

They both know what diagnostic is coming: it’s why Jay hasn’t actually kicked Barry out of his house yet, even if he’s still mad at him for confronting him about this and convincing him to go get tested. Jay didn’t want to be alone when he got the call. Jay didn’t want to get the call at all, doesn’t want to have to break the news to Alan and have Barry, Wally, Bart and the others worry. He wants to stay in denial, wants more time. At 90, Jay hasn’t been bitter about slowing down until this very moment: when it gives his own damned mind the chance to fall apart at the seams.

Barry is saying something about the quality of the wall primer when he’s interrupted by the shrill ringtone of the phone. They both fall quiet and stare at it, their fight entirely forgotten. Barry practically falls in the seat in front of Jay, but doesn’t press: they’re both stretching the seconds of this moment, remain on the cusp of change before it becomes irreversible.    

Jay’s first instinct is to run the phone to the Atlantic Ocean and chuck it, but he focuses on Barry and catches his own reflection in the oven door behind him. They both look ridiculous, the first two Flashes, covered in paint, and childishly arguing. He laughs, slightly hysterical, but also absolutely delighted. He looks at Barry and thinks: this man is my legacy, I would not choose any other and it gives him the courage he needs. He stays standing up, picks up the phone and places it down on speaker between them.

“Mr. Garrick, this is Dr. Brady. I have your test results in front of me and I’m sorry but I have some bad news.”

---

The idea would be to explore speedster physiology as they age/effects of the speed force long term/what that healing factor can handle, but also how chosen family can rally around you when you’re dealing with something like Alzheimer.

Apart from some stray notes and drafts, this snippet is all I have to show for it for now.

Thank you for the ask, I hope you enjoyed! Happy Halloween!

[strawberryspence]

I wrote this so I can remix it. This fic but Steddie version. Steve's concussions comes back biting his ass at 55, this time in the form of Alzheimer's. He starts forgetting about stuff, starts forgetting about where he placed his keys, forgetting about dates.

Then it progresses to something worse, Steve starts going to places and completely forgets where he is, he forgets what he's doing in the middle of the day, forgets how to drive. The tipping edge is when completely forgets who Max is.

They bring him to the Doctor, and the Doctor diagnoses him with Alzheimer's.

It's Eddie's worst fear brought to life. The love of his life slowly forgetting him, slowly forgetting the life they've built together. The strongest man he's ever known, the same man who carried his half bleeding body while he was also bleeding out of hell, he's health deteriorating in front of him.

Steve tries to track it all down, tries to write as much as possible, scrap books for a whole week straight, piecing together pieces of memories.

There's good and bad days. Steve almost always remembers Eddie. Robin moves to their home, bringing Nancy with her. It's exactly how they lived in the 90's but now Steve's the one they take care of.

The good days are the best. Steve can walk on his own, and do stuff on his own. He knows his way in his own home. He calls the Party, asks them how they are and talks to their kids and asks them how they are. He eats dinner with the girls and Eddie, asks them how work is. They sleep together, it's like any other normal night with his husband.

The bad days. The bad days come frequent. Eddie can handle it. Steve has taken care of each and everyone of them in the last 35 years, this is nothing. But there are days when he can't, when he can't handle the vacant look in his lover's eyes, that's when Robin and Nance takes over.

There are days where it's so bad they can't even call it bad. Eddie will give Robin and Nance a look and they will know. It's okay, Eddie can do this. He can open a scrap book and show Steve their wedding day. He can tell him that Will and Mike, yeah, they got married too. Max and Lucas have kids. El's a daycare teacher. Dustin's a doctor. He can retell their life story to him because he's always done this. He can tell Steve for what he thinks is the 22nd time, that Hop died back in 2019 from lung cancer. He can tell Steve that Joyce passed away 6 months after that. He can hold him through the grief again. He can hold him as he mourns over his adoptive parents death like he hasn't before.

Eddie will love him through the world ending, through storm and rain, through heaven and earth opening up. There's nothing that can make him stop loving this man.

The kids visit frequently. They don't care if it's a bad day or a good day. They visit Steve when they can. Brings old photos and new stories. The flights get pretty expensive, but no one fucking cares.

Robin isn't even phased. She will love and care for him in any shape or form, even if there's days where he doesn't know who she is. She's been there for everything in his life and she swears not even Alzheimer's can tear her apart from her soulmate. Steve can forget about her, but Robin knows his soul will never do.

This is nothing. Because this is Steve. Steve who took care of them since they were as young as 13. Steve who didn't stop caring for them even if they were well into their 30's. Steve who airmails them a care package when they're sick, when you're close enough he will make you a bowl of soup. Steve who knitted them scarfs and mittens for one christmas because he can't stand seeing them cold. Steve who offered up his life for them and will still do it today without a doubt.

It's nothing. Because it's for Steve.

[vesselandmoon]

Sundowning

Since I got ahead of myself I decided to post the story version of this first, I thought it only made sense to also post my own take that is not in that format.

I swear I will attempt to be concise and not ramble, but no promises.

When I first saw the title of the album I thought it was a little odd but it stirred some memories of a deceased relative that struggled with this. For that reason I will TW sundowning as well as dementia and Alzheimer's, just in case. Also, the little personal experience backstory here will be between the asterisks if you wish to skip it.

***

That being said, I recall how she was during the day. Of course, we are talking about a woman well into her nineties at the time so there was very little that she did besides watch television. Evangelical preachers and the news more often than not. She wasn't bed ridden or anything of that nature and other than typical ailments for her age, she was rather healthy. Days were slow and quiet.

But as late afternoon crept in, tension built in the house. As she was able to stay home until her passing, she was accompanied at all times by at least one other person, be it family or hired ladies that assisted in her care. She would become confused, agitated, and paranoid. I won't go any further into it, but what I experienced made me wonder about Vessel.

***

Why the title of Sundowning when that is usually reserved for individuals suffering from dementia and Alzheimer's? Then I considered it as less of something he could not help, and more of a state he suffered as a result of knowing Sleep was coming. This plays up on my thought of Sleep being a separate entity that can (in some way) possess Vessel. Sleep isn't always there, but when he is, Vessel can feel him coming.

See, in lore context I wonder... when it's sundown you're growing closer to the time to sleep. Night is settling in and there is only so much time left before you must sleep. Fighting that sleep is always an option but rarely has positive consequences.

Vessel obviously doesn't have dementia so what if it's more in the sense that the night is coming and so is Sleep? I assume Sleep does not join Vessel every night, mostly because I believe that Sleep finds ways to manipulate Vessel and keep him in a state of longing or desire and what better way to do that than by living by the adage "absence makes the heart grow fonder". Let Vessel suffer through the night alone and when Sleep is present, it would bring so much relief, that Vessel would see the encounter as worth it no matter how unfulfilled he feels in the morning.

The prospect of the encounter could cause Vessel to pace and grow agitated or confused on how to feel about it. Seeking some kind of companionship to not be alone through the night, which is when most people struggle with loneliness, while also knowing that what's coming might not leave him feeling as fulfilled as he hopes.

This would tie in with my thoughts on Thread the Needle but that is for another post. However, I will say that it is the idea of giving his all to Sleep while accepting the bare minimum in return. I can relate to Vessel's side of that. I'm not proud to admit it, but when I was younger I obsessed with someone very similar. Only at night did they acknowledge my presence and they gave me just enough to keep me craving more. I was afraid of being alone, afraid of losing them, so I allowed a lot of things to happen just for the sake of the relationship. I'm still fighting the consequences of that.

A bit of a personal take I suppose, but aren't we all projecting just a little?

[lcngdays]

not my grandpa having the insane notion that i'm gonna quit my summer job and come work as a carer for my grandma who has late stage dementia

[lucky-whispers]

I feel like every time I see a sad q!BBH post about his death or his memory loss a little bit more of me breaks. There's something so horribly similar that's going on in my life that it is just gut wrenching to see the similarities. The way he stares off into space, the way he is trying so damn hard, the way that even if he returns, it will never be the same (or at least it probably won't be- I haven't had time to watch the newer streams).

I genuinely had to stop watching one of his streams because it's already such a struggle to see it in real life and not being able to escape, but this one place where I was supposed to be able to laugh and cry and shut it off suddenly got so much more real.

Sorry for the sort of vent-y post just rough day haha

[mynamesnotdahlia]

Will simon forget that betty isnt technically around because that happens with dementia right(?)

Absolutely. He tends to think of her as being away but not gone, like he could just go in the other room and find her there, or that she's on a trip.

He talks about her a lot and it's one of the main ways people have found to calm him down, to ask him about stuff with Betty gets him less agitated. When he gets more prone to wandering he tends to get confused and default to looking for her to try and figure out what he was doing. There's been a couple times where he gets brought back to PB and Marcy by a helpful candy citizen who found him wandering calling for her. He might default to calling women around him Betty or Princess and it can be hard to tell if it's a placeholder name or if he genuinely thinks she's there.

[dimas-favorite]

Today is important.

[ethereal-bumble-bee]

One Minute of Silence (Based off of Everywhere at the End of Time)

Note: just some feelings and stuff I wanted to get out, lol (this isn’t a vent on my part necessarily, just some emotional writing, it’s not even in my perspective lol). This is based off of the project “Everywhere at the End of Time”, so major warnings for dementia, Alzheimer’s, grief, memory loss mentions, and death. Please read with caution— love y’all!!!

(p.s.— the “one minute of silence” won’t make sense unless you know the project, but you don’t have to listen to it to know, you can just look it up. Again, listen with caution 👍)

Your limbs are stiff and still; the robotic, dull movements of a man whose soul is long dead but whose body won’t accept it. It’s been so many years, so many years… Why are you still holding on?

Your memories are quickly fading into distorted static and distant space, blurred and hazy. How long have you been in the darkness?

Family, friends, lovers— you had them, right? Who were they? Why can’t you remember their names? 

Some people are fortunate enough to be left in the past, reliving their childhoods in the husk of a body they used to have. Why do you have to go back? You can’t shake the feeling that you’ve been here before.

Have you forgotten even how to speak kindly? Your words come out angry, harsh, twisted curses flying from a brain that’s long since lost its filter. You don’t mean it. They know you don’t mean it.

They miss you. Sometimes, they come to stay with you… did they visit today? For who should you be waiting to walk into the room?

A dull thumping noise breaks through the chaos. Is it God, knocking on your door to call you home? The nurse strides through the door, a bored look on her face and an orange bottle of pills in hand. It’s six p.m.— time for your memantine.

Of course they’re not coming to visit. They stopped showing up years ago, when you could no longer recognize their faces.

Did you know, when you were young and healthy, that it would come to this? Mama, Papa, every soul before you, none of them had to die alone. You can’t remember the names of the people who should be here, holding your hand. Your fingers are gnarled, scratched. You’re tired.

The pills don’t work. Nothing works. You’re a shell of who you used to be… who did you used to be? Will you ever be that person again, the one who knew who they were, knew where you were at and why you were there and the time of day and the name of your doctor and your favorite color and your favorite music and how you wanted to die.

A burst of clarity. Is it gone? Are you free? Finally, you remember, you know. Oh, what a joyous day, you want to go home—

One minute of silence. In memoriam.

[nabwastaken]

so true bestie

[dieletztepanzerhexe]

p*triotic mood in the alzheimer's ward in my hospital