#Although. There's something very funny about him being literally the only character to die in the main manga lol

[kyouka-supremacy]

The only thing better than Akutagawa dying is Akutagawa dying TWICE

[tyttamarzh]

Just some late night thoughts.

For some reason January 21 is a special day in many ways for Missa Cubito…

21 de enero de 2023

Missa death in MCExtremo. In that series he had great character development, at first he was just a scared baby who didn't know the world, everyone had to take care of him, because with the slightest carelessness he would die (literally, they were distracted for a second and Missa looked at an ender and died, because he "did not know what it was"). He spent the first few days very scared, locked up at home, until after dying and reviving due to a bug, he decided that it was time to live that life to the fullest and decided to leave his crib and go out to face danger. He learned to fight being trained by none other than Spreen and Shadoune, learned to water bucket clutch with Rubius and became brave when facing mobs (sometimes recklessly). His new way of approaching life scared Q (it even cost him a life to him to this one) but for Missa it was very effective, because after losing practically 3 lives in 2 days being a scared guy, he managed to survive until day 5 with his brave attitude (even if he survived that day, he was able to reach the final) he was so full of confidence when fighting and decided that now that he was no longer the smallest of the team he was going to protect his friends, especially Q, who was the fearful one of the group now… and that's how he took too many risks and ended up dying, being something very shocking not only for his team but for everyone in the series and for the viewers, really, Twitter was flooded with fanarts and people crying about his death (even Missa said that an aunt called him because she thought something had happened in the real life).

That was very important because before that series almost no one knew Missa Cubito, he was just "the guy who died too quickly in Dedsafio" or "The funny guy who hopefully managed to get too far in siqud craft games". But in those 5 days (5 days of consecutive streams, it was heaven for the missaurios), he won over the internet with the story of his growth and death (Even today people say that the best thing about that series was having the "team vacio legal" and Missa was the heart of that team). I think that was the moment when Missa cubito separated from Missa Youtuber and became her own character.

But that was a sad day, because that day Missa Cubito lost the first family he had found.

This was the moment he died, fighting like a warrior:

January 21, 2024

Llegamos al día de hoy.

Missa wakes up in the QSMP prison and reunites with his family, it was the first time that Missa, Philza and Chayanne were together at the same time since April. Not only that, but he now officially adopts Tallulah as his daughter. Despite the adverse circumstances, his family has finally been reunited and grown (although Missa already considered Tallulah his daughter, now it is official and she calls him dad).

Despite being another universe, Missa is still the kind boy who wins everyone's hearts. Missa behaved politely with the guards, being mannerly when referring to them by saying "please and thank you" and greeting everyone very kindly.

He was very nice with the eggs, even with the ones he didn't know, and he refused to hit Dapper even though he was hitting him, Missa just said: "I'm never going to hit you or do anything to hurt you."

Missa was very happy to spend time with Phil, when he spent a long time losing sight of him, he would ask where he was and look for him.

The moment of the kiss (or the kisses) was something WTF I really didn't think that one day they would kiss and definitely I imagined many scenaries, but in no way I believed it would be that way, but that's what makes it special. They are not an ordinary couple, whether platonic or whatever they called it, whatever they have is special and I guess that was a special way for it to happen. Phil probably would never have dared to ask him to kiss him in another context and that's fine, because it seems like that would be the only way for it to happen (even if they both wanted it, I don't think it would have happened in another context).

It is worth mentioning that the moments of Philza being jealous and him reaffirming that he was married and being loyal to him was something I really didn't expect. After so much time apart, they still have that unique dynamic.

The day in prison was filled with so many things, but I can say that for the first time in a long time, Missa felt fully loved, not only by being with his children and his husband, but also by all those friendly interactions he was with others and that he could not have before on the island, because the first days he was extremely shy and did not separate himself from Roier and the friends he knew and after he only connected sporadically, meeting Foolish, BBH and rarely Philza.

Something curious that Missa Himself mentioned was that the previous times he was with Phil it was more of "ohh I miss you" but they didn't amount to anything more and today he was very happy because they were able to hang out together and do more things bonding with his family.

When he and Chay freed the turtle it was adorable, then the 4 of them doing the tasks, that was a unique moment and he was very happy singing for his family (being so nervous that he forgot the words to his own songs).

His bond with Phil strengthened and they didn't have to do much, that simple moment of the two of them talking about tacos and memes was something very cozy that they needed to do a long time ago. Just as the moment when they took the children for a walk with the llamas was something so sweet for this family that they almost forgot that they were in a prison, because it seemed more like a picnic in the park.

It really was a great advance, probably what happened today will help Missa a lot to grow and leave his self-esteem problems behind. He is important, he is loved and he is useful to his family.

Missa was a trend today, as it was last year, but the big difference is that this was a happy day because somehow, today he got his family back, that big family that he hadn't had in a long time and that he wanted so much and deserved.

The parallel of how he left today:

He is happy, laughing with his husband and children :')

[chaoticgoodthief]

More STP Thoughts

So I did this thing earlier but now I'm thinking... There's games that the voices would play... but then there's something else that I can't stop thinking about. What would be the most interesting game characters for the voices to be? Say that after the Construct shatters, they're all thrown into being their own Player Character of different games.

Contrarian is probably the easiest in my mind. Stanley from The Stanley Parable, same as he would probably enjoy playing. It's a game in which he is in a constant loop of disobeying the whims of an angry British Narrator with a capital N who has very strong opinions on what the correct path is. And would be fun to try pull him out of there, because I'd bet my life savings that the Narrator would guilt-trip him about it. And *eyes my TSP ships* it might get a bit... awkward.

Opportunist, a voice that I didn't have any clue what to do with before but now have the perfect idea. Lamb from Cult of the Lamb. Manipulative, obeying a higher deity but ultimately self-serving, made a deal in exchange for his own freedom only to (potentially) disobey when his own life is at stake. Originally was planning for Broken in this role because of the whole Priest to a cruel god, but Opportunist just works better. A really inflated ego from defeating and enslaving a god plus things turning out extremely beneficial to him will make he really hard to convince to leave.

Cold... well, there are multiple options here. I'm not going with Flowey because I think he just doesn't have it in him to be that chirpy, even as an act. Although that would be funny for the other voices to deal with... Instead, I'm going to go with Batter from OFF. It's not as big of a game as the others, but I really think it works. Think Genocide Route Frisk, but there's no other choice but to kill everything. Wipe the world of any life at all, do whatever it takes to complete his task, no matter who has to die to achieve it. Getting him to stop trying to "purify" the voices for long enough to listen to them would be one of the hardest parts, but at least he can't attack during dialogue.

Paranoid is another one that I didn't really have any ideas on until lately. But now I have the Doorman from That's Not My Neighbor. Sure, there's a bit of a more Skeptic role with the whole question them until they reveal the truth, but I think it still works. I mean the whole Nightmares and distrust of what's real and what's fake... it was a tough choice but ultimately Paranoid works a bit better in a horror setting than Skeptic. And getting him out of there. Oh, I don't even know how the other voices will drag him out of his safe little office.

Smitten... Oh, Smitten I'm so sorry. The unnamed protagonist of Doki Doki Literature Club! Has good intentions (just falling in love with a girl), believes he's in a romance story until too late. I wouldn't be surprised if this scars him for life. I'm not sure if he would even make it to the end before breaking down completely. He doesn't even have Cold to do all the emotional repression for him. Even if he is probably the easiest to convince into leaving, getting him to even be responsive again would probably be a struggle.

Hero would probably be the one having to convince to others to leave, to be honest. Sorry buddy. Someone has to do it and I'm afraid you are just the best fit for the role. At least LQ might be there to help you. Might.

I'm not really familiar with any games that work well for the other voices so please let me know your thoughts if you have any ideas! The more painful the better 😈

Edit 1 (suggestion from an anon ask):

Broken as the protagonist from Do Not Take This Cat Home. Gosh, this was so perfect. The game is literally a metaphor for abusive relationships, he's trapped in a endless loop repeatedly meeting his abuser and dying by their whims. He's lonely, desperate, and just wanting a companion and to make that companion happy with him. Please take him out. He's going need to be dragged kicking and screaming because he is very likely not going to be able to get the good ending by himself.

Edit 2 (Another anon suggestion 😈):

Cheated as the player in Buckshot Roulette. Wow. A lot of the voices work really well in other indie horror games and Cheated is no different. There is nothing but the game. A Russian roulette game with multiple twists and changes, but at the end of the day that same back and forth of each one trying to win. Back and forth and back and forth. Trying to use new tricks to win the same game. One of them has to die. But no matter who does, neither truly wins. Will he even want to leave until the game is "over"? Probably not. Please drag him out, he's going mad trying to win a loser's game. I love this.

Edit 3 (More anon suggestions yay!!!):

Hunted as the Slugcat from Rain World. Literally trapped in an endless circle of death and rebirth, escaping getting eaten, killed by the elements, or starving to death. I've said about every single suggestion, but I honestly think this fits extremely well. There are even little changes to the story you can make dependent on which path you chose! (Monk, Survivor, Hunter). Will also probably attack whoever tries pull him out because cat > bird and I think that's funny so that's also a win :D

Edit 4 (Suggestion from @gallus-mundus):

Skeptic as the player from Exit 8. Hahahaha wow almost none of the voices actually left the horror genre, did they? But YES. This works so well for him. Sure, the deductions are very limited, but it's not really like he did that many in the game to be honest. His chronic overthinker ass is not beating the game (read: chaining yourself to the wall, you absolute dumbass). There's a time limit, even if he does manage to figure out the trick to escaping I really don't think he is going to make it out alone. At least he should be reasonably easy to convince to leave compared to the rest...

Edit 5

Stubborn as V1 from Ultrakill. Finally, another voice that escape the horror genre! Not a perfect fit, but pretty neat in my humble opinion. Literally running on bloodshed, a sense of duty/purpose to fight, but often also characterised as someone that enjoys the fight itself. And... *Side-eyes at Gabriel/V1* yeah, that type of relationship looks... familiar. Good luck getting him out of there, he's discovered the wonderous world of modern weaponry. (Alternatively, if he's taken out at the end of the game... yeah probably not in that good of an emotional state either.)

WOOOO YEAH FINALLY DONE!!! THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR HELP!!!

[inkedwingss]

I'm not big on anime, and usually skip the intro, but I need to talk about some reasons I find Bubble to be so brilliant.

Spoiler alert.

1. The little mermaid was one of my special interests for years, so yes, there is that.

2. The pure, tender but also "I will die/kill for you" love story. Beautifully done, even when we understand their fate, it doesn't discourage you from watching and it does not disappoint;

3. Good plot with cool characters that actually add to the story.Hibiki and Kai's development, first on that big jump when Kai shows how much of a true leader and self-sacrificing person he is, so we understand it was never jealousy but his desire to be useful and relevant - love how they animated that moment -, and then when Hibiki, that does everything alone, asks Kai directly, in front of everyone, to go with him. These are just two of my favourite moments, but let's keep moving.

4. The quality of the animation itself. Seriously, animating can be a pain but animating parkour? The camera movements are sick, and the dynamic is amazing! Parkour is not a cool background: they are fully committed. Also, they pay attention to other details (like Hibiki's freaking headphones flying on that epic scene) that make all the difference. I could post a ton of pictures about the poetry of it all, but I'm gonna stick with those four.

5. The way they portray neurodiversity: casually, naturally, and with its inherent value. It's a relief to see someone like Hibiki being a pro at something that is not what we usually see in this type of character. Enough with the chess player/reader/tech genius autistic characters. People can have other abilities! Other needs, other characteristics. They can be relevant because of what makes them different, even if it's "small", like an auditory hypersensitivity. This was something very special, and I quite like how this post talks about it.

Also, who doesn't like apocalyptical scenarios nowadays?

A lot of spoilers ahead:

At the very start, Hibiki falls from the tower and Uta follows him, presumably to save him. As he drowns, the bubbles of his breath meet Uta, and they merge into something that resembles a supernova. This is going to be referenced later by Makoto: "It's said that the world repeatedly collapses and rebuilds. Assembles, bursts. Scatters. Then assembles again..."

Uta becomes a human through him, quite literally. As she grows into multiple bubbles, we see a poster on the train with a girl on it, and the similarity between them suggests that she used that as an inspiration for her human form - although her hair is blue, which brings her authenticity forward. Funny enough, the poster says "beyond the border". Then, still underwater, they touch (kiss, in my opinion, for the sake of Hibiki's need for oxygen), but her human form is not affected by touching him like it happens when they are on the surface - beyond the border.

It's also interesting to think about the many layers of the word "bubble", not only as an obvious reference to the original fairy tale. A bubble can be a cage or a protection. When underwater, it holds the air, and "air", "breath" and "wind" are terms extensively used in literature and in various religions to refer to our spirit. We also have a similar situation with "sound" and "music" being connected to frequency and the creation of the world. We know Uta signs and her name means music, in Japanese. A name that was given to her by Hibiki, by the way, which I love, and definitely means a lot to me for so many different reasons.

With all that said, I believe there is a reason why Hibiki and Uta's parkour movements are synchronized and their hair is so similar (with rebel strains on the top of their heads). This sense of oneness is brilliant, and she chose it. She chose to follow him. In the same way she chose to use the shape of that girl in the poster, she chose to conform herself to Hibiki's image - which, to me, is the greatest way of showing admiration and love, the act of considering the "object" of your love so high that they inspire you, they influence you! They change you/ in the end, allowing you to become yourself.

I also like the way they chose to approach our post-modern dilemmas, like doing dangerous stuff for views, the collective "orphan" feeling, as well as this "danger" and "independence" that they "seek" as a way of escaping the ridiculous reality outside (or are they pushed to it?). As a result, they end up living inside another bubble, the bubble that actually originated their trauma. When they choose to live and thrive on their own terms inside that doomed place, it's just a weird but relatable type of irony.

Now, let's talk about the end. I absolutely love the end? Like yeah, smashed my heart, and I'm gonna cry again every time I watch, amazing voice work and all, but that final scene has tons of hope and an amazing perspective of what truly happens when we have a connection (love), which is it never dies.

Love does not die. It lives inside us, and it changes us, and it becomes part of us. It is true that love suffers, but isn't that a consolation? The reality is that suffering can not be avoided unless you want to live a meaningless life, isolated with your headphones, struggling to be yourself, to find your path, wishing you could cease your own existence.

It even makes me think that we can only be ourselves through others.

Society is all about being independent nowadays, but this is just pure bullshit. Our level of co-dependency is higher than we think it is. Without love (connection), all will die. We die, and I mean this literally.

That's why, in my opinion, Hibiki says he wants to leave at the beginning of the movie. He is not going to leave the bubble. Why would he? I believe he wants to leave. You can tell his actions are not only autistic traits or trauma response, and that he is not deliberately rude - they are clear signs of depression: he is just not interested. He is somewhere else, a place no one can reach, detached. He threw the flag after a victory because it didn't matter. It's that stage where we look bored, rude, cold... But we are actually sinking.

Well, if I'm right and he wants to end it, he still needs to understand what that sound is, that song, that calling. So when he goes to the tower, it seems to me he is actually fine with risking everything for it. Hibiki is confident in his skills, but also smart enough to know how dangerous it is. It's better if he dies trying, though, right? The need to find meaning is more important, so he doesn't care if the answer costs his life; he has nothing to lose.

In fact, maybe it's something to win because in the worst scenario, he would not be taking his own life, he would be trying really hard to find the purpose and dying for it. It's a good excuse to die.

This search for meaning is present in the whole crew, but here I have literally so many things in my mind that I can't type, so I will jump to the conclusion that the purpose is found in the community.

And that's the most precious thing Uta did. Since her first moments with them, she was bringing them together in her own way (in chaos, with crazy chickens), and birthing a new pattern. Because of her giving nature, her surrender, her love, and her being, all of them end up overcoming whatever patterns were holding them back before, and that's why I said we can only be ourselves through others. Community is powerful beyond measure when its foundation is true love.

But above that, sometimes there is that one special connection, that powerful type of love, that will change everything, that strong and pure love that is just... Something else. And we crave that. As humans, we crave spiritual, deep, mystical connections. We crave the things that are beyond. That we can feel but can't fully explain. We crave love in its deepest, most consuming levels.

"Love suffers all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends."

I truly hope we can all be found by it.

[everygame]

Hi-Fi Rush

Developed/Published by: Tango Gameworks / Bethesda Released: 25/01/2023 Completed: 09/12/2023 Completion: Finished it!

I loved this.

I’m not quite sure why, but saying so feels very exposing. Maybe it’s because before playing Hi-Fi Rush I had no idea what it actually was, and the game’s bright anime-adjacent stylings somewhat had me discounting it out of hand, so I assume the extremely cool people who read this would be doing the same.

Maybe it’s also just that Hi-Fi Rush is… pretty straightforward? It’s not particularly trying to move the medium forward (although I think it does some clever stuff) it’s just trying to be very, very good at what it’s doing. And what it’s doing, actually, isn’t so much “anime” as “full on Sega blue skies” while being an incredible competent 3D action platformer/brawler with a likable (dare I say loveable) cast of heroic misfits telling a simple but effectively structured narrative with some very savvy music choices.

The thing is that… succeeding at something that hits that many beats isn’t actually… easy? Something I’m most struck by is actually those characters. By now we’ve all seen the nadir of Marvel-inspired quip-a-thons thanks to the likes of that Forsaken trailer, but even looking at something like, say, Guardians of the Galaxy, where they have something that (at least previously) had worked, it’s remarkable how flat it falls. Here, you have a goofy, act-first-think-later hero, Chai, the cleverer-than-him female leader, Peppermint, the funny robot, CNMN, etc. in a very simple “baddies are doing bad things, let’s get the different things we need to defeat them” story, but it completely pops because there’s been care to keep the story rolling naturally so you flow through it and grow into caring about them. I’m so insanely curmugeonly that I can’t believed to ride that line for me. But they did!

Now you could say, “ah, but the secret weapon here is that the game uses actual songs that you actually like! That always works!” But it doesn’t work if all the pieces don’t fit together. There’s no better example than one of the game’s latter levels that uses The Prodigy’s Invaders Must Die. It plays at a moment where narratively all hell is breaking loose. It feels like you’re in a climax of an action movie, not just because the music is playing, but because the story has taken you there. That the level design is clever enough to cool down, let the music pull back a little, and then kick it back in for a climax? Absolute chef kiss.

(It only really gets better from there, too. Ending strong is rarely something I think video games aspire to, but Hi Fi Rush is sensibly around the 10 hour mark and the last three levels or so rip. Did the appearance of The Joy Formidable on the soundtrack literally make me emotional? Yes. Yes it did.)

Now interestingly, I haven’t actually played any other Tango Gameworks titles so I don’t really know if I should have expected rock-solid play, but either way I was surprised by how well it does. What makes Hi Fi Rush genius, I think, is that it takes a type of game I am incapable of not button-mashing through and adds a rhythm action component that doesn’t expect but rather, uh… politely asks you to hit your combos on rhythm. And it works!

I can criticise it, somewhat, however They quickly add quite a lot of subtleties to the combat and don’t tutoralise them heavily enough–I didn’t understand how to use Chai’s “partner combos” until well over half-way through the game, and I don’t know if I ever got comfortable with parries because standing around waiting for enemies to attack seemed the antithesis of everything else I was doing. There end up being a lot of buttons and you have to internalise the order of your partners and switching between them rapidly in situations where there are like 3 different kinds of enemies at once meaning at times combat is just a total stramash. But even then, there’s always the beat to follow. It’s very clever.

Anyway. I loved this. It’s one of my favourite things I’ve played in years. Your mileage may vary!

Will I ever play it again? When it finished I wanted to play it more. That literally never happens. I sort of hope there’s a sequel, but the story of this is so pleasantly complete that I’m not sure if there should be one.

Final Thought: I may also be a bit of a sucker for this game because you’re always accompanied by a black cat. Inspired by the game director’s!

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[hikennosabo]

trimax volume 6 random thoughts

chapter 1:

oh, hey, it's the guy from the 98 anime!..... or not?!

i'm not keeping track of this TOO closely, so there may be other instances of this that i missed, but the guy from 98 episode 1 also showed up in trimax chapter 7. it makes me wonder if nightow provided character designs/ideas to the 98 team, or if it's the other way around and he decided to incorporate anime-original characters into the manga. either way: neat!

HAVE I MENTIONED I LOVE MERYL, BY THE WAY.

i love the bits of characterization we've been getting for her. she (and milly) are our tie to humanity, after all

i must say it is nice to have a goofy fight after... all that in volume 5. and before... the rest of volume 6.

chapter 2:

aaaand now we start the next chapter with wolfwood's nightmare/flashback! hurts just a little bit! (the trio IS kinda serving tho ngl... when you have a fashion show at 7 but need to terrorize the orphanage at 6)

^ completely and 100% unironically, they were in love here.

i just... ugh. this is such a vashwood chapter. the absolute trust and fighting together completely seamlessly, they are just. ugh. ughhhhh. this kind of trust just GETS to me.... sorry. i'm normal about them. i'm NORMALLLLLLaauughghghgh

ANYWAY. chekhov's table made me laugh

i am physically restraining myself from going crazy over vw again as i reread this chapter to write this post.

anyway anyway. ww calling himself "nicholas" is cute :)

just kidding one more vw comment as a treat

HE'S SO IN LOVE. FUUUUUCK.

chapter 3:

legato continues to be fascinating to me. i'm observing him like a bug in a jar. which is appropriate, considering...

WHEN I CALLED HIM A BAGWORM IN THAT ONE POST I WAS JOKINGGGGG I WAS JOKING!!! THIS MADE ME LAUGH FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES STRAIGHT WHY DID SHE HANG HIM FROM THE CEILINGGGG IT'S SO FUNNY

this is actually making me fucking cry.

...i got so distracted laughing at bagworm legato that i almost forgot to say literally anything else about the chapter, but anything else i have to say mostly boils down to "wow, legato is such a freak (affectionate)"

also, whenever something that was in tristamp is brought up i feel like the leonardo dicaprio pointing meme. like "oh hey, i know this!" going into this manga with prior knowledge from stampede is... an interesting experience. all that being said, i can't WAIT to see more of the manga version of double fang. oh nightow we're really in it now

chapter 4:

oh, finally, FINALLY!!! last volume i asked where the knives nuance was and now we're FINALLY getting some knuance, thank god. seeing knives react to just how badly humans treat plants is SO effective. and we're not even up to the juicy part yet. it makes me want to eat glass.

speaking of eating glass.

i thought something like this might've been the case, but still... this hurts to read.

i want to eat glass!!!! fuck!!! this reveal is so insane, it's like monkey's paw of "this is a way knives can be defeated, but by the same method, vash is closer to death than knives is." WE don't want vash to die, and neither does knives, and this chapter is the first (and possibly the only, idk) time the reader's feelings and knives's feelings are... well, aligned. at least in a sense.

chapter 5:

this chapter is really something, because it starts off almost seeming like another lighthearted "we're in a random town fighting a goofy enemy of the month" romp much like the early chapters were, heck like chapter 1 of this very volume. but it's just wearing the skin of that. which is, y'know. the thesis of this entire chapter. smiling to hide the pain and all that.

i don't think i can really... articulate anything of substance. the chapter just kind of... speaks for itself, i think.

although i DID laugh at ww trying to enjoy his noodles and failing, and also the phrase "needle-noggin-isms." thanks for providing some levity, we actually really do need it.

chapter 6:

ohhh boy we are REALLY in it now!!

i enjoy seeing knives ponder like this. legs crossed, arm slung over his face... i don't know. maybe it's because i myself sometimes lounge in this pose.

what exactly is he thinking about, i wonder. that in awakening/forcing vash to use his powers, he unintentionally pushed him closer to death? maybe? i don't know. either way it's very on-the-nose for what their relationship has been like.

and then of course we cut to this shot of vash, looking in a mirror created by knives's slice

this shot is making me think a lot and i'm reading too much into it, but- obviously the reflection puts vash's beauty mark on the opposite side, so there's the knives resemblance, so also, i suppose vash must see knives every time he looks in the mirror, right? also vash looking at his reflection featuring his own black hair- which we're all still thinking about... i dont know. i dont even know if this is anything LOL. i feel like i have the dots but i'm failing to articulate the connection. anyway

this made me laugh. thanks for the levity again, wolfwood :)

BECAUSE WE'RE GONNA NEED ALL THE COMIC RELIEF WE CAN GET, BABY!!!

maybe i'm just insane for this because it's Generic Party Imagery but the specific combination of rem flashback + party popper + funny glasses makes me think of the similar scene in 98 when the seeds crew celebrates finding planet gunsmoke. like is this another instance of nightow nabbing stuff from 98 or am i just making things up.

the twins are so cute and baby knives smiles so much, i want to microwave myself.

knives wants to believe in humanity. man. MAN!!!!!

what comes next... i'm absolutely carrying my prior stampede knowledge into this, but fuck, man. fuck. even then, i know that stampede didn't show everything, so i don't even fully know what to expect. which is fun! but i can't believe the volume ends right in the middle of the flashback, MAN!!!

[nebulouscoffee]

for the ask game star trek voyager!!

Thank you sm friend! I already answered a couple of these, but the great thing about being very indecisive is I can give different answers each time <3

Favourite character: B'Elanna Torres, although Kathryn Janeway is a close second (I do have a Janeway-themed url, after all😌)

Second favourite character: okay, I'll talk about Janeway here! Gosh what a deeply flawed individual. She's awesome, and yes, incredibly charismatic and badass, but she's also haunted, complex, and scarily capable of hurting those closest to her (which she does. Like, a lot.) She ends up in charge of a seemingly endless mission, and she cannot afford to crack- not in front of her crew, and not even really in secret- so she begins this seven-year process of what basically amounts to dehumanising herself. Her arc is almost like a long-form merging with Voyager the ship- she is Voyager, and Voyager is her! She will protect her crew and bring them home. She will ensure they get to survive. (What happens to her? Well, she knows she can and will never be the same, but she can't and doesn't think about that right now). She made a mistake and her crew paid the price and the guilt of this eats at her every day, but she cannot afford to acknowledge it or she'll go insane. She tries so hard to stick to her principles but once she's violated a few she starts thinking of her soul as this already-corrupted thing- she knows she can live with it, so why not do something else that's a bit messed up! Better me than any of my crew, right! Like- no wonder she couldn't move on with her life once Voyager reached the Alpha Quadrant in the Endgame timeline. No wonder she had to travel back in time to die in the past. She is so changed by the events of this show that the past the only place she can truly belong. Ugh!!!! I have so many feelings about her!!

Least favourite character: I dislike voyager!Q so much I actually skip all his episodes on rewatch lmao. And I'm someone who actually quite enjoys him on TNG! He's this all-powerful all-knowing omnipotent being who could literally be off anywhere any time doing anything he wanted, and yet he chooses to keep coming back to this one starship just to flirt with the most boring man alive. He literally got kicked out of the Q Continuum for having too much of a hyperfixation on his blorbo. That's funny! And compelling! Unfortunately the Voyager writers did not understand what made this work and decided his only trait was *irritates everybody* (including the audience lol). What he and Picard had was a funny back and forth, a snarky Quodo-style "these horrible old men deserve each other" rivalry. What he and Janeway have is sexual harassment played for laughs 🙃

The character I'm most like: Kes - I went into more detail here :)

Favourite pairing: B7 if we're talking non-canon ships! From canon, uhhhh I guess whatever was going on between Janeway and Chakotay in 'Resolutions' & Tom/B'Elanna before they got together

Least favourite pairing: I don't know if I have one? C7 is the popular answer but I literally straight up forget it exists because it's such a small part of the show, like it doesn't even show up for reals until the finale. I'm not a fan of the way they wrote Tom/B'Elanna for basically all of S5 and S6, and the damage control they did in S7 wasn't bad imo but also felt too little too late. I also dislike Kes/Neelix, though I do think it had potential to be a really interesting breakup arc lol

Favourite moment: That scene from 'Year of Hell' where Janeway has given the order to abandon ship and everyone else is so reluctant to desert the bridge and it looks soooo banged up but she still won't abandon it.... and then Tuvok gives her that hug goodbye..... and she glances at that little gift Chakotay made for her which she didn't have the heart to recycle..... and she talks about what Voyager means to her, and why she has to go down with the ship...... my heart😭

Rating out of 10: Objectively an 8/10, I think the early seasons are GREAT and around midway through they do sort of run out of ideas thanks to their commitment to being as episodic as possible and sidelining more than half the main cast as well as refusing to let the guest cast build up or develop. The show genuinely suffers for it imo! There's a lot of wasted potential, as well as biases of the time that prevented it from reaching true heights- I also wholeheartedly think this show ruined the Borg lol, now 75% more human and 200% less intimidating! However it's also got so many positives- I adore all the main characters so much, and the premise itself gives me so many feels that in my heart it's an 11/10🥰

[susie-dreemurr]

(Was out so liveblogs of where I stopped in HXH election arc up till beginning of ep 144 were written in notes app. It’s long .)

Lmaooo even Hisoka is like “bitch you think Killua loved you? Tf is wrong with you”

Oh my God Pariston is a fucking influencer

Let’s fucking go

LEORIO. AND KURAPIKA. ALALUIEA

Gon is LITERALLY IN THE SAME TOWN as Gin but he can’t go see him because he’s in a coma. Fuck everything and FUCK GIN

LEORIO THE GOAT I LITERALLY DAYDREAMED ABOUT A CHARACTER TELLING EXACTLY THIS TO GIN. LEORIO JUST LIKE ME FR FR

LEORIO THTE GOAT PUNCHED GIN IN THTE FACT AND TOLD HIM TO “DIE YOU ASSHOLE” THATS MY BOY

LETS GOOOO LEORIO PUNCHING GIN IN THE FACE NOT ONLY SAVED THE ELECTION BUT ALSO MADE HIM GET THIRD PLACE IN CANDITACY. GIN DYING IS WHAT THE PEOPLE WANT. GIVE IT TO THEM. I love democracy

Please Leorio win this election it would be so fucking funny. If not you then Morel because Bisky is too cool to be president as wel so

HELP “Gin Freecs o vagabundo dos Zodíacos. Foram votos de pena que o colocaram aqui?” Quem quer que for o comentarista (não posso ouvir a voz mas acho que é o feijão verde) te amo.

ILLUMI FUCKING DISOWNED HIM

Also I never mentioned it before but. Everyone but Killua deadass misgendering Alluka. Zoldyck family (aside of Killua and Alluka herself) will be killed in the gender war.

Btw Ginger Hisoka is strange to see can your hair go back to being pink-ish. Also can’t believe he’s the tamer one out of tbh he two Illumi really is unhinged

… did hisoka intentionally rile him up to show people Illumi is here. Because as soon as he found out there were rules Killua knew, maybe he’d be hoping then that Gon would be able to be saved after all. He wants to fight him so bad— HEP THE SHOW LITERALLY STATED THIS RIGHT AFTER. Unfortunately I know Hisoka well enough to tell.

“Alluka, if I were the only person in the whole world who loved you, would you be alright?” Fuck he’s asking that because he knows. He knows they don’t love her. At the very least, they don’t show it not even a little bit.

And yet all Alluka can hear is that there is someone in the world who loves her. All she can hear is she’s loved, after all.

Btw given that “you could have fought the president or those ants had you not been playing tag with Chrollo” so I’m assuming that the reason Kurapika isn’t going to Gon is because he’s back to hunting the Phantom Trouoe

NAOOOOOO GOTOH PUTA QUE PARIU. Tem algum jeito dele sobreviver com esse pescoço não :((( uma das duas únicas pessoas boa pro Killua nessa casa….

You know I was thinking to myself more jokingly that I was so starved for girls in shonen interacting that Canary and Amane are yuri to me, but… “You’re cute when you let lose a little” 🤨🏳️‍🌈? Canary do you have something to share with the class. (And then Amane blushes.)

HELP. Illumi and Hisoka “need more people” but neither of them have any friends aside of MAYBE each other so Illumi has to resort to brainwashing. Ok the cringe & fail duo

Ok is it bad that I’m rooting for the Anti-Netero faction. Like they make a good point (the exam allows to many crazy ass murderers in) … although their speech isn’t good, but like. Politics.

NO WAY GIN DIDNT EVEN SHOW UP JUSTIFY HIS LOSS. Cringe & fail.

Fucking. Hisoka trying to sabotage Illumi with a fake map but Illumi having a real one so Hisoka is just like “ah. Never mind.” Anyway fucking insane that we have to rely on Hisoka of all people

Btw I’m like 99% sure Amane is the “spy” Illumi is talking about so RIP my Yuri. Oh well, what fictional gay couple didn’t betray each other at least once, right?

Oh Tsubone was the spy. Nvm.

HES CRYING NOOO KILLUA :((( also fucking creepy too Illumi godamnit

KILLUA DISOWNING LETS GO

Hisoka don’t you dare do what I think you will. Get this murder card OUT of the hospital

Oh thank God it wasn’t gonna target Gon or Morel

Lets go call Gin’s ass out Pokémon character looking girl

[ericmicael]

What will Olaf's plot be in "Frozen 3"?

Before starting I have to remember the whole situation involving the "definite death of Olaf" that surrounded F2. I heard a lot of rumors that Josh Gad wanted Olaf to die a final death in F2, and after the movie came out he was the only one who made a post, on Twitter I think, with a farewell tone to the character, but then a while then the Olaf series premiered on YouTube. Whether this situation is something real or a theory exaggerated by fans like that concept art of Elsa thawed that would prove that in the original ending Elsa would end up frozen in the movie, I love how the greatest proof of this theory is an art that is literally the opposite of the theory. But anyway I don't think we should forget about this theory/rumor involving Olaf.

I think there's a chance Olaf dies permanently? Other than Sven who could "replace" him with the baby reindeer, I don't see Bruni or the Snoogies replacing the snowman. The character is very vocal. But like I said, it's good not to forget this theory.

And in fact only Kristoff and Sven did not pass through a life risk in the franchise films (although Elsa and Anna being frozen are closer to paralysis, and Olaf technically did not die in F2, but we can consider both cases as life risks).

I think the two most popular Olaf arcs in theories are:

Olaf reaching adolescence or adulthood

Olaf getting a girlfriend

Olaf is one of the main reasons for building my theory that "Frozen 3" will address the Industrial Revolution. But I don't think that even if this proves true, the character won't contribute as much, unless he's a fan of books about basic machinery like the trains that have already appeared in comics.

If, along with reading books, Olaf continues his F2 plot of starting to go through the phases of life (in "Frozen 3" he will probably be at least 6 years old, which is perhaps equivalent to 12/13 years old), approaching more delicate and serious themes one being that of the other popular theory: romance.

Olaf gets a girlfriend named Samantha to pay homage to F2's "The Ring" joke. It couldn't be someone created by Elsa because it would be incest, so I thought: what if it was a troll? I wouldn't be against the idea and would help deepen the plot of magical creatures, which is one of the most ignored things in the franchise.

But if only Olaf and Sven got girlfriends it would be funny to say the least tragic. The franchise started explicitly tackling LGBT themes, including lesbian couples, and having Elsa give a speech advocating that independent women can date, and in the end, only non-human sidekicks have romance? I've already said that I'm content with the subtext and extra material involving Elsa, but damn.

[chocobox]

the fact that my threeeee biggest love heart guys are england and edgeworth and levi gives me many thoughts. because they all kind of occupy the same character niche and have at different times been associated with each other because of it. and are also all very popular fan favorites. in, again, a very specific niche. but i don't really tend to relate with their fanbases because despite their popularity, there aren't a lot of people who i feel like them the same way i do? not intended as an "I'm different and thus more special" dig but like. i am different, and it can be isolating. because i just don't relate to their fans in a very mundane way. so i sit over here playing toys with them on my own. (i don't think people ostracize me on purpose i'm just shy and a bit socially inept.)

also, i think it's funny that they get associated with each other because while i can see the superficial similarities, there are also substantial differences in each of them, to the degree that it would probably be very fun to graph out. like, they're all into having a 'refined' image, and that trait can often be conflated when comparisons are drawn, but they all approach it from a very specific life experience, with incredibly different behaviors around it.

for edgeworth, this 'refined' behavior is something very natural for him, he's kind of always acted like a stuffy snob, and then that behavior got exacerbated by being raised in an abusive, wealthy environment. it's something he couldn't shake if he tried, because it's just how he's learned to experience the world, and the most prominent way his taste had been shaped. he's also really refined and picky when it comes to what he considers to be elegance.

as for england, a persona of being a 'refined gentleman' is something he deeply enjoys performing, but it kind of just is a performance. he's very proud of it in a way you'd only be if you were doing a good job at something foreign to you, which makes sense given it's not something he even really could have grown up in. he's awkward with it, and not actually very refined, but he has an attraction to it and he does have the privilege of consistent exposure to it. he's not necessarily bad at playing the part and it'd be disingenuous to say it isn't a big part of who he is, but generally, his more crass and shitty self always wins out. although he may criticize others, his own bad taste always shines through, because you can't really fake that. being elegant and refined is something he wants to be seen as, but he'll always have an inclination towards counter-culture styles and behaviors in a way that feels much more true to his personality, because he always has been, and always will be, rough around the edges. it's most comfortable for him to embrace that, and his enjoyment of performing gentlemanly behavior, in and of itself, is an offshoot of these off-kilter traits. it's still about maintaining superiority and pride in a very nasty way. (IM GOING TO SCREAM I WANT TO TIE HIM UP IN A JET PLANE AND FLY IT INTO A MOUNTAIN AND EXPLODE IN IT WITH HIM)

and then you have levi, for whom the idea of elegance is, in truth, almost completely foreign. he has spent his entire life in poverty and conflict, and he doesn't actually like rich people (setting him apart from england and edgeworth, who ARE both very well off.) he had to fight to survive and spent most of that time in filthy surroundings, and indulging in things he finds to be respectable is a way of keeping himself sane. he would never, ever don 'respectful' or 'gentlemanly' behavior the way the other two i've discussed here do, because it's not the point. maintaining cleanliness, liking tea, and having an affinity for types of dress derived from formality all comes from a simple desire for happiness and stability. in 'bad boy', it's literally established that the reason he likes many of the things he does is because he always admired his mother's refined elegance (🤪🤪🤪🤪im going to die) and has shaped himself around her in every way he can choose to, even despite the violence and cruelty he was forced to learn. it helps his self esteem, and also helps to keep her with him in a tangible way. he emulates superficial things that make him feel better and closer to her, and i don't think he even considers changing his personality to fit the matching image of refinement. after all of the suffering he has experienced in impoverished filth, he just wants nice things. he craves stability, and his snobbish behaviors and specific inclinations (respectively, the way his life has hardened him and the only things he can find simple comfort in despite said hardening) all come from his basic desire for a good life that he has never been allowed.

So thats just like one of the thinfs that they seem similar on but arent actually haha

[demonsfate]

1, 2, 3, 4.

canon questionnaire // accepting . . .

1. What made you pick up this character?

I found Jin to be a very interesting character when I started learning about him! Although Jin is a "stoic" archetype, I found him to be interesting compared to a lotta stoic characters, and I found him to be interesting compared to other fighting games characters (especially the main characters). I loved that Jin was a stoic, but still a very caring guy and not literally emotionless / cold. I loved that Hwoarang tries to be his rival, but often, Jin doesn't really share the same enthusiasm for the rivalry. I just found Jin to be a subversion of many tropes 'cos of the things I mentioned.

It was watching his Tag 1 ending that really made me love him, though. A lotta ppl took it as Jin LITERALLY not being able to kill Kazuya because Jun or something stopped him. I don't... really agree with that and I didn't see it as that to begin with. As for one thing, Jun nor Angel or even present lol. Yes, Jin looks down at his shaky hands, which a lotta ppl took for Jin being confused as to why he can't kill Kazuya. But honestly, WHAT I THOUGHT was happening was that Jin wanted to kill Kazuya, but then realization hit him; he's about to kill his own father. Jin stops himself after this and looks down at his hands in horror because of this. And that, along with Tek4, is what made me really fall in love with Jin and wanted to write him. I loved how he was the good guy, but still struggled with the age old question of "is killing always a bad thing, or do some people really deserve to die?" Yes, there are LOTS of media with this same question. But the thing is... usually characters like Batman or Superman are already so sure of the answer, and they have to debate it with other characters. With Jin, he really doesn't know what the right answer is. It's something he struggles with, and understandably so.

Funny enough is that I had no idea about the Tekken lore, I literally knew nothing about it despite playing it since my very early childhood. So I definitely had no knowledge about Tekken 6, so everything was a surprise when I first saw it. And guess what? I hated Tekken 6 so much that I nearly considered NOT writing Jin. Like Tek6 was almost the reason this blog never got made. I was considering maybe just writing Tek3-Tek4 Jin and nothing else, or not making the blog at all. Even though a lotta people trash Tekken 7's story. The good thing about it is that... it DID give me inspiration on how I could "fix" Tekken 6 and still write beyond Tekken 4 on this blog. Thus, becoming canon divergent and saying that Devil Jin was responsible for the war, not Jin.

An interesting thing is that I wasn't nearly as interested in Devil when I first started this blog. In fact, I believe my early promos would just say "ft. Devil Jin" and sometimes make a joke that he has to be around because it's hard to write Jin without him. Which was how I truly felt at the time. A very early icon and dashboard header for this blog featured Jin only. Yet as I learned more about the series and I wrote the two more, I realized just how much I love Devil. Like Devil has become a very integral part of this blog, and he IS just AS IMPORTANT as Jin is now!! Like I really do consider Devil on the same level of importance - he's not just a side muse or anything, he's as main as Jin is! In fact, the primary focus of this blog had quickly become focusing on Jin and Devil's relationship as I found it particularly fascinating. So it was wild to think there was a time I didn't care for Devil as much. But I made this blog pretty early on when I just got into the lore, so I still wasn't as familiar with it as I am now!

Sorry for writing a book based on THE FIRST QUESTION you sent me lol! A quick fun fact is that I almost considered writing Heihachi, too.

2. How did you get into this franchise/fandom?

Well as I said, I actually played the game as a small wee child thing! Probs when I was only like 6 years old or younger! My mains used to be Xiaoyu and Eddy back then lol :P But strangely enough, despite it being one of my fav games to play with my bros when I was a kid, I never got into the lore until fairly recently. (Nearly 2 years ago I guess?) And that happened because my brother for some reason decided to buy all the Tekken games lol. So I watched him play through them, and then that's when I realized how much I was really liking the concepts and the characters - especially Jin, of course as I explained above!

3. What’s the best thing about the show/series/books/comics/etc.?

The games are fun to play lol! But really, if we're not talking gameplay wise. I just really love the characters. I think the game has a colorful cast of characters that are all highly unique, wild, or funny. They're also all wonderfully designed, too.

4. What’s the worst thing about the show/series/books/comics/etc.?

The handing of the characters, or the lore in general. Jin being the worst case of course because hoo boy, Tekken 6 has definitely ruined Jin's character. Even with Tekken 8 trying to "fix him", it still didn't undo the damages of Tekken 6. But really. Tekken as a series is FULL of amazing concepts, yet they always get messed up because of inconsistences, retcons, dropped plots, drastic changes for no good reason, etc etc. Characters being completely changed from what they were, characters being turned into jokes, characters just being useless. It just gets frustrating.

[kyouka-supremacy]

I am totally pushing the aku top of the school agenda HOWEVER this mf would pop a vein before tutoring anyone (teaching math would end up in murder)

I swear I am extremely fascinated by and genuinely interested to understand what prompts this fairly spread perception of smart Akutagawa because I really can't see it.

Akutagawa is THE flawed character of the franchise. He has barely any redeemeing qualities. His being a ruthless, mindless dog, a beast, an animal is a central theme of his character: he's one of the most inhuman characters, no rationality, no emotions. It only makes sense he'd also be lacking in intellect, one of the most intrinsically human qualities, right? Let's also keep in mind that when it comes to intelligence, he was specifically trained since a very early age so that he wouldn't develop any critical thinking skill or wisdom. He was appositely built to be an executor, never a thinker. A killing machine, a mindless beast. He was made to be a tool, not a person. He is the very epitome of irrationality- and that much shows in everything he does! There's plenty canon evidence to support it. His actions are never guided by preliminary thoughts, he just acts on instinct, akin to an animal. He will kill his target in chapter 4 although his mission is specifically not to, he will barge into a building full of security guards right through the front door without even ordering his subordinates to offer support, he will go rogue and storm into the Moby Dick destroying everything in his path no matter the consequences, he will naïvely jump off a balcony to catch a repetitor just because his worst enemy said it had Dazai-san on the line- do I have to continue? His whole character is exclusively driven either by orders, or by instinct and irrationality. Guys, it would have been SO MUCH EASIER if upon seeing Ranpo's message Akutagawa had just took out his phone and gone “hey Chuuya-san, it's likely we've found the mastermind and the whole thing will be solved here at this place, can you come over one second?”. But he didn't, and it's not simply a matter of suspension of disbelief (in the way that the events are more satisfying this way). Was it for his pride then? Indeed, but Akutagawa's pride and irrationality are in a perpetual concomitant relationship of cause and effect, where one is constantly born from the other. I do think his very simple and straight-forward objectives (1. kill the Jinko 2. be acknowledge by Dazai-san 3. die) are themselves expression of his simple mindset, and so is a certain naïvety he has, that I honestly wish more people took into account when characterizing him.

It's funny because, the thematic relevance of it is the whole point- in reality, I don't think there's such a thing as a stupid person, I firmly believe everyone has their own kind of intelligence, a field each of us excells in. But it's exactly because Akutagawa isn't a person (well. in this context at least), but a character, that one can push a characteristic to its extremes in order to make it symbolic of something, in order to make an archetype out of his character. And Akutagawa at his core is irrationality, he is Dazai's failed trainee and ugliest foil, he is the ultimate pawn, he is the beast. The fact that Akutagawa is a character– it's relevant. He's not a person, he's a vassel for themes. I can dare to rudely talk about him like he was an animal because it's the narrative itself that before anyone else pushes the reader to see him in a dehumanizing way. Akutagawa once literally tore the skin off a man's neck with his teeth effectively killing them. It's quite not simple dog coding anymore lol. But he's just a dude from a book really, he's just symbolism: and that's why he can become a dog, or a pawn, or the stupidest person of Yokohama, as the author or reader pleases. It's really not that deep ahah

I can guess a possible counterpoint would be that perhaps, in a universe where he wasn't subject to the slums and Dazai's abuse such as high schools aus, Akutagawa would get his chance to be witty? But then I can't help but think, if you don't make Akutagawa stupid... Aren't you taking a fundamental trait of his character away from him? What's left of Akutagawa then? What would be the point of reading, let's say, a sskk high school fic if you can't recognize Akutagawa in it? But then again I guess this is exactly the reason why I can't bring myself to like most of alternative universe bsd fics (╥﹏╥)

Also, ultimately, there *are* personal preference components to it. In my headcanon Akutagawa has autism / adhd, and although those don't always have a negative impact on one's academic results, there is a chance they do. And I'd honestly lean towards that chance more when it comes with Akutagawa, because he is the pathetic man that has everything going wrong for him. There's symptoms in his impulsivity and scarce self-control, and I believe they'd make school life very hard for him, especially when it comes to focusing in classes and for studying- which is fitting tbh, can you imagine Akutagawa ever having a happy life? (I'm jk I swear I love him)

Besides, I must have mentioned how one of the main appeals of sskk for me is how despite being thoroughly flawed people they can still be loved. It's surprisingly comforting to think that even the most evil of people can be loved, and it's the same when it comes for stupidity. Stretching Akutagawa's flaws just makes him more symphatetic and enjoyable to read about.

[squids-comics]

I have no idea if this is going to send anything to the original person who sent the ask or not, so if you get a notification feel free to ignore.

I've been thinking about this story a lot the past couple of weeks. Which is weird because it's not very good. It's poorly written, poorly paced, and honestly kind of embarrassing to look over. But it's very relevant to my life now and the struggle I'm going through.

I haven't kept it a secret that I'm trans. That's something I've been relatively open about, and something I've written about on multiple occasions across multiple characters and series. The Patient in The Peregrination, Lewis in Dual Identity Dysphoria, John Landwalker in John Landwalker, Persephone in Alistair Chronnus, Waypoint in his little one off short story (I was going to write more for him but never got around to it. He might be in Leon Nightshade eventually though). It's not a topic I've shied away from.

I've been writing for a little under two years now, and I am just coming out of a gender crisis that lasted almost three. I have finally decided I want to transition and live my life as a woman.

The problem comes with hrt. I think hrt sounds wonderful and I'd really like to do it. Unfortunately, breast cancer runs heavily in my family. My grandma has had it, my mom has had it, and (if I do hrt) there's a solid chance I'll get it. If I don't do hrt, I'm worried I'll never be happy with the person I am. If I do do hrt, I could die.

And it's such an odd feeling looking at the two paths I could take. Neither one is a good option, I'm trying to pick the lesser of two evils here. But this character, The Patient, they sum up this struggle perfectly.

I first came up with the idea on a day with really bad gender dysphoria. My body didn't feel like the right shape. My skin didn't feel like it fit on me. I thought about just ripping it off, being free from the shackles of flesh. And that's where The Patient comes from, that's why they end the story by ripping their skin off to free themselves. Dysphoria is a nightmare and I'm not sure how much longer I'll last.

But cancer is hell. Cancer is a piece of your body going rogue and trying to kill the rest. Cancer treatments put you through the ringer because they literally have to kill pieces of you to get rid of the cancer. It's awful. It's not something I want to go through, and it's not something I'd wish on my worst enemy.

And that reflects the other part of The Patient's story, the part I talked about in the above post. "I'd be free to be who I want, and I'm willing to die to get that even if only for a little bit." It's so easy to say words when they don't really mean anything. But now I'm living this statement, and I don't know if I still stand by it. Do I want to be me even if it kills me? Or would I rather play it safe and keep hiding for the rest of my life. Do I want a few years of happiness, followed by a painful death, or would I rather have a painful life with an easy death? It's such a hard decision and I'm scared. I'm more afraid then I've ever been in my life. What I choose now will determine how my whole life plays out, and how it ends. I don't know what to do.

I don't even know why I'm writing all of this out. I thought it was kind of funny how relevant this utterly stupid story ended up being in my life. And I guess I also wanted to get this off my chest. I could've talked to a friend or someone close to me, but I don't want to worry them. I'm selfish like that. Although, given my track record for writing posts, I doubt anyone will ever see this. I'm just screaming into the void. At least my secret's safe I guess.

Thank you so much for reading this far if you actually took the time to read this. I guess I'll keep you posted on what I choose.

Bye for now,

Evelyn

Hi! Just followed you after finishing all of the current chapters of The Peregrination. I love it!

I'm glad you're enjoying the series!! And thank you so much for the nice words!! I was worried I was kind of losing the plot by the end of The Leak, but hopefully it wasn't that bad!

I ended up changing the ending of that arc quite a bit. The patient's metamorphosis was meant to be a representation of gender dysphoria, with a bit of pointing at how nasty female beauty standards are (like with the unnaturally small waist). That's why their body didn't fit them and why they got so upset about being called Mr. Smith. Originally, after they had removed their skin and said that they were now beautiful and free, they were going to drop to the floor, dead. This was intended to be a rebuttal to the classic transphobic argument of "body mutilation". Like yeah, maybe I would be mutilating my body, but I'd be free to be who I want, and I'm willing to die to get that even if only for a little bit. But then I realized I had written Dr. Jones as a transphobe and really really wanted to kill him off, so Dr. Jones and the patient died instead! Now I'm going to write a cool girlboss doctor like Dr. Crusher to replace him!

Anyways, thank you again for the encouragement! There'll be a new chapter out later today (as soon as I get around to writing it)!

[bluexiao]

#assigning genshin men with songs from my spotify playlist

—multiple scenarios depending on the songs assigned to them

CHARACTERS. Albedo, Childe, Diluc, Gorou, Kaeya, Kazuha, Scaramouche, Thoma, Venti, Xiao, Zhongli

THEMES. more fluff than angst, actually. only some has angst (venti’s & zhongli’s especially). comfort on thoma’s.

WARNINGS. reader is not a good person in scara’s part.

NOTES. this is quite new to me so i hope you liked how i wrote this one! it’s quite long each character so i hope you guys will enjoy~ i really liked Kaeya’s song & part here. I also literally listened to venti’s voice while playing the song and it resonates tf. also it’s funny how i’m referring to my spotify playlist here but i linked youtube for the songs,,,

SEND A KO-FI || WRITING COMMISSIONS INFO HERE

ALBEDO - Yellow by Kina Grannis

Feelings beyond the capacity of words, being succumbed and accompanied by the chirps of the crickets and the silent but gentle sound of the cold night breeze that passes by both of your forms with every chance it gets—as if the Anemo Archon himself was in approval of this. This moment feels reminiscent somehow; him sketching onto paper, your moonlit beauty radiating from where you were sitting on the grass, a curve of a smile playing by your lips as you stare up at the starry sky. If he was asked, he thinks the stars were smiling back at you.

“We should bring Klee here sometime. Although we’d have to be strong in case she pleads to go fish blasting again. I’d hate to burden Jean once she finds out about it,” there you went, thinking about other people. He thinks you worry about them too much, more than your own. Yet he keeps the words inside of him, knowing full well that it was one of the things he liked about you anyway; your love for others.

If he could wish for the stars, he’d say that he hopes that the shine in your eyes will never die—that genuine love and care to shine for other people.

And if it does, he will not hesitate to put it back on for you.

CHILDE - Crazy by Daniela Andrade

You very well knew what being close to a Fatui Harbinger would mean.

You not only have heard whispers, mutters, or talks about them—you were lectured by your very own parents not to even associate yourself with them.

It’s crazy ironic how now, those warnings were not heeded and were tackled very differently than it should have been. Consequences—such a word that most people had already told you about the moment they learned about your connection with him.

To hell with it.

Everything has their consequences, and if you had heeded the others’ words before, then you will also lose this life--the life that was almost robbed off of you just because of these stereotypes of a Fatui Harbinger.

You held your guards up when you first met him, you tried. But his charm was indeed something not to be reckon with, now you could barely imagine a life without him anymore. This must be what it is, right? This must be how it is to love and be loved.

You were suddenly aware of the softness of the locks in between your fingers, your eyes then glancing down as a smile forms on your face when you gazed upon your lover—your Childe; your Tartaglia; your Ajax. A man who had drenched not only his clothes and his hands but his whole mind with violence, a man who had sworn loyalty to a god who you do not worship—nonetheless respected.

It’s crazy how you love him.

But it’s also crazy how he loves you back and was willing to defy all odds just to have you by his side as well.

DILUC - Once Upon a December by Christy Altomare

It was almost like a fairytale. For him, meeting you was like a fairytale carved right out of a children’s book that his father used to read him with when he was way younger, when he still hadn’t got the sense of justice he had as he grew older. You were his savior, even if you were not truly aware of it.

“What are you thinking about, Luc?” he hears you say, in an instant, his eyes were on yours. He could feel it again—being bare in front of someone and letting it be like that, for them to see your soul and your entire being, trusting them with your whole heart.

He leans in to the side after a couple of moments, still swaying with you on beat with the background music that seemed to have continuously played despite the time that had passed by, his nose catching the fresh and natural scent of your skin. How many minutes had it been since you two were standing in the middle of the bedroom you shared since the day you two had gotten married? Basking in each other’s presence under the blessing of the evening.

“Would it bother you if I say that I’ve been thinking about you?” he says—almost like a whisper, actually. He very well knew you could hear him, but for him, this was like a secret, one that he wishes to keep with you and you alone.

One of your hands then curls to his waist, leaning yourself closer until you are hugging him whilst still swaying and taking hold of one of his hands. Also leaning to his shoulder and ear, he could only smile as you replied, “How could I when you’re also in miy mind most of the time?”

GOROU - Meet me on the Battlefield by SVRCINA

The world was unfair, Everyone knew that--both you and him were very aware of it as well.

Fighting an army by a god was never deemed as easy. With the limited resources and fighters, it was not a surprise that someone like you had joined them in the battlefield as well.

He was against this at first, but seeing your battle prowess, the Divine Priestess herself could not fulfill the General’s request to not let his lover partake in the fights. Sooner, he came to accept this and respected you and Her Highness’ decision.

The world was unfair, but he would not go down without a fight.

You suddenly feel his fingers slip to yours, feeling the familiar comforting warmth that had always been there since the start, his resolve that had never wavered and was infectious enough for you and of course, the other people around him. This is not just both of you fighting for your lives, this is a fight for Inazuma and its people. Even if your name as the Resistance was tainted amongst those who don't know why all of you were fighting, the echoes of your hearts will remain the same.

“Meet you later?” he turns to you like when he usually does, a small and assuring smile on his face, one that you could confess that you always look forward to. In every start of a battle for your lives, you two became accustomed to greeting each other this way--for you both to survive like you always do, probably; an assurance that everything can stay the same after a battle of fortitude against the Shogunate.

Mirroring his smile, you nodded, “Always,”

In the land of Eternity where silver clangs to silver, iron smashes to iron; this is an eternity that you both had always hoped for.

To be safe--it’s a prayer that your minds and hearts chant along the intake of your breaths. It’s a prayer that you both wished towards a god that is willing to listen.

KAEYA - Who Am I by RIELL (Acoustic)

(has implications of god!reader)

Threads of fate, strings of love, needles of the past—with unblind eyes, he knew what he was looking for.

When his eyes clashed with yours, when his hands met yours, when your voice penetrated his mind; he knew—knew what he was getting himself into, knew what falling under the spell of your kiss entails to someone like him.

He knew, and yet he couldn’t stop himself from having a taste.

The grip of his blood runs through his very veins, through the same eyes that you stare at with your Divine ones, through the hands that you still hold with your own tainted ones—tainted from the blood of his kind.

In this game of love, shall he prevail in the name of his family or for the sake of you—the god he accidentally fell in love with?

Who is he really?

Who was he supposed to be?

These questions ran dry from the answers it was neglected of as he grasped onto the handle of a door, turning them open to be blinded by the light.

“Kaeya, honey, you’re here?” your voice rings in his mind, infiltrating his plans and making him question his own identity.

You came, dressed in casual clothes that no one could even guess you were a god living amongst men—he didn’t, wasn’t able to until you revealed it to him as his lover.

He forgets everything and lets go of the rope towards the end goal as he leans in and presses a kiss on your lips and whispering the words “I’m home,”

KAZUHA - I won’t give up by Jason Mraz

A peaceful and windy evening, the unsettled sound of the leaves on tree branches and the grasses n the ground, the darkness of the sky illuminated by merely the moon alone.

A storm is brewing.

“Kazu, do you really have to?” you already knew that something was bothering him. That despite this supposedly jovial night date around the harbor, there seemingly was a voice that he couldn’t release. You didn’t need his hypersensitive sense of smell to read him—you’ve known him quite well enough with the year that was given for the both of you.

But tonight, tonight was different, and you’ve already perceived what the storm inside of his head had been meaning to say to you.

When you looked into his eyes, he wore the same ones from when you met him. And without any answer, you knew what it would be anyway. Before you could even look away, you felt the warmth of his hand on yours, meeting your gaze without a single thought hidden beneath the clouds of the plum of his orbs.

“I’ll come back home, I promise,” he says, because it was true. He already found his home here in Liyue, with you.

His other hand fishes something from his pockets and once he retrieves it, you could only gasp as he slips the silver band on one of your fingers delicately. Now, both of his hands were on yours, cupping them and grasping them with so much care and love that you felt it right through your bones how sure he was with his decision and his feelings for you.

“Meeting you was one of the most unexpected things that had ever happened to me, but unlike the others, you, my dove, brought the light back into my very eyes and gave me strength to face the sun once more. For that, I thank you. I want to come back to you with my heart whole and my spirit rested, so wait for me. And marry me by then.”

SCARAMOUCHE - Saints by Echos

At first, he was merely amused by you.

How could a thief steal from the Fatui—a Harbinger no less? It was purely entertainment to hear you spit curses at him and to feel the daggers of your glare, yet he was too amused, it seems.

“Be one of us, Y/n. Your skills will be wasted by the likes of your kind,” he said, holding out a hand—at that very moment, you knew that you were making a deal with the devil.

You took his hand and his path of life, became a part of it and soon, he was also a part of yours—too much to even see a world without him in it.

“Are you done?” his arms were crossed when he entered your tent, his eyes scanning over the Treasure Hoarders that you seem to have caught once again—seemingly in the same state as others before them. His eyes pierces yours, scanning them, probably to see whether there were remnants of your past self, ones that had vanished the moment you became one of them. “You’re far different than who you were before.”

You snicker to yourself, soon evolving into a laugh as you faced him, one hand on your stomach, finding his statement quite hilarious, “Coming from you,” you respond when you were able to, eyes glowering under the dim light, “you’re not so innocent either, dearest.”

He smirks, but there was hesitation in his eyes and a pressure in his chest that he could not seem to fathom—or particularly care about.

When he met you, without meaning to, you stole his heart too. And now, he didn’t know if offering you to be part of the Fatui was his best or worst decision of all.

THOMA - 17 by Pink Sweat$ feat. Joshua & DK of SEVENTEEN

Days with him never lacked energy and motion. Every person he had ever encountered is a testament to how he’s such a helpful kind of guy. Always there when you needed something, always holding out a hand in assurance that he was there—most especially to you.

“I apologize, but we’ll be taking our leave now,” he smiles towards the others and you could only wonder why he pulls you both aside, hand comfortably on your back, making you a bit closer to him as you walked side by side, the warmth of his form radiating from where he was, warming you up from the coldness of the night and the soul inside of your body.

It seemed, he sensed it again.

Wordlessly when you were far away from the crowd, he halted you both and he faced you to open his arms, to which you knowingly went and circled your hands on his waist, pressing your face on his chest. He wraps his own on your form, one hand tapping gently on one of your shoulders, “There, there. That party was stuffy, huh? Do you want to stay here for a while?”

When you nod, he leans his chin on your head, humming in response, “We could stay here for as long as you’d like,”

In the middle of the way towards Mt. Yuogo, there you two stood, only for the both of you to sway into a soundless music, nothing but the hums of nature surrounding the both of you, comforting you even more.

VENTI - Hurricane by Anson Seabra

Such sad eyes, that was your first impression of his viridescent orbs.

A smile that could mask any emotions that may be on that lonely soul of his, jovial music that clouds the sad words that he’s been hiding inside that mind of his—anyone could be deceived by then, honestly.

Not you.

The night you met him, it was as if a gust of wind had your heart pounding and your mind racing. Even without knowing his face or his name or his voice before, you felt that he was familiar.

“Do I know you?” you asked, and when you met his eyes, you were sure that the next words that slips your lips were affirmative despite his own answers.

“From a previous life, perhaps?” was your question, and he answered with a laugh.

“My, my, must you really be that curious about this humble bard? You could have asked for my name, you know!”

A liar, that’s what he was, and you knew it, he knew it.

Who was he to stop himself and bite his tongue of the lies that come out of his lips when he could still remember the way your eyes lost its life in front of him countless of times—all because of him, all because he was a greedy god who loved a human who’ll always meet the same fate as you would always do when you start to feel the same for him.

Fate hates him, but there is nothing he wants more than you.

XIAO - Can you hold me by NF feat. Britt Nicole

Not very many knew of the lone yaksha on the topmost level of Wangshu Inn, as well as the stories that lie beneath the surface that he holds upfrontly.

Cold, dismissive, very few with words; almost anyone would be riddled away especially if he wants to—he does, he needs.

“Desires? Ha. Do not judge Adepti by your mortal ideas. I have no desire.”

He does have one, actually.

His existence is an epiphany to most, but more so with the so-called lover who had tamed his heart—very few knew about you, and he meant to keep it that way.

“Xiao, you’re tense again,” your voice was like an angel, your touch was like feather, the muscles on his back easing up instantly at the contact as he lets you rub them gently and carefully, “relax, I’m sure you’ve vanquished the demons to temper the dangers for the meantime. You need to rest up as well, my love.”

He could never say no to you, not when you were beginning to calm the embers in his mind and the darkness of his soul.

It was not too long when he raises a hand towards yours, holding them gently before turning to face your form. He did not meet your eyes, but his lips met your knuckles; softly, mercifully, he kissed them with emotions that he doesn’t claim to have.

When you sat down in front of him, you were even more surprised to have him meet your eyes before leaning close; breath to breath, nose to nose.

“Can I hold you?” he found his voice even as he stared at the beauty of your orbs. You could only nod, voice restricted on your throat and from the pounding of your heart.

His embrace is rare, so whenever he initiates them, it is like your breath is being stolen away by him again. You didn’t know why he’s acting like this at this very moment; an act of impulse? Or is there an underlying reason? Either way, you were here to snake your own arms on his waist as you relished the love that he was willing to give you—the desires that he not so often speaks of, that he even denies he has.

Because even an Adeptus has desires, most of them just hide it.

ZHONGLI - More than words by Little Mix feat. Kamille

Like gravity, you found yourself being pulled by his presence.

Was it his face? His stature? His voice? Not that it mattered anyway.

“Mr. Zhongli, would you like a refill for your tea?” you inquired, smiling his way as he sent you one with his own politely.

“Yes, please,”

You could only watch him from afar. Being a little bit shier than any other else, you could only stand as you see other people flock his way and try to woo him on their own. He’s a gentleman, the dream of everyone—including you.

“I am grateful for your kindness once again, Y/n,” he says before he turns his back, exiting your teahouse as you watched once again—your eyes following his form until it vanishes out of sight.

With a sigh, you could only hold a heart over your chest. His baritone voice, his piercing yet warm eyes, the way he said your name has your heart pounding and you were worried if he’ll be the cause of a heart attack of yours someday.

“Why don’t you confess already?” those were the words of your friend, Hu Tao, when she catches you staring at him again. An ideal pair, you two were, seeing as he’s the boss of the person of your affections. Although with your circumstances now, it’s very much likely, to say the least, to be friends with her.

“I can’t,” you say, a sad smile forming on your face.

Awareness is a rather scary thing, such as knowledge.

Cursed with the memories of your past, you knew better to stay away from him—Morax, Rex Lapis. Others knew him by many names, but you knew him because he was your husband.

Was.

“You know I can’t, Director Hu,” you looked at her and she soon sighs.

“Are you sure you’re not going to say goodbye? There’s a possibility he could see you even if-“

“We already did…” you cut her off, soul turning back from the man who sat far from both you and Hu Tao; soul turning away from the world you had once lived on, “it would hurt us more if I show myself once again.”

Wordlessly, Hu Tao understood, and even without a physical heart and lungs you felt your chest constrict as you ached to see him one more time—to feel that once rush you had when you liked him, when he returned his feelings, when you two had gotten married to each other. All of those will be left now.

“I love you,” you whisper to the air, to the wind, to the breeze; hoping it would get to him.

And in his seat, he whispered back, “Likewise, my dearest.”

But you weren’t there anymore.

TAGLIST (pls send an ask to be added)

@softlybeloved @rim0na @icecappa @cozykaii @scaraslover @beastielevi @cursedraiden @thesatanofpizza @izayanna @stellumi @coco-goat-milk @nonniechan @m3gitsune @thispenguinrocks @chuubear @kiyoobi @catisnerd @ventislatte @weakestpoint @pinkfei-main @aweebstuff @zhongchi14

[nataliaphantomhivesblog]

Corruption & Trust

Stormbringer and bsd spoilers in general ahead so read at your own risk!!

So in this post I will be listing all the times Chuuya used corruption and all the times Dazai was there to stop it. I will also go into depth as to why Chuuya trusts Dazai when it comes to having to use corruption and I will also emphazise on Dazai's care and how he takes corruption seriously.

1. First time using corruption: Stormbringer

Chuuya and Dazai's age: 16 yrs old

"Isn't it an unpleasant sight, Chuuya."

It was a young boy. This young boy casually caught hold of Chuuya's arm and lifted it up. With this movement, the gravitational field which had occured around them disappered immediatly. As well as Chuuya’s agony.

"Y...You..."

"You can't even die gracefully can you?" the young boy said in a raspy voice as he heaved Chuuya on his shoulders. He set off to walk.

Alright so this was the first time Chuuya's corruption was ever activated, after Dazai nullifies it and carries Chuuya on his back, he drops him off outside the bar were Chuuya's friends lay dead. He took him there instead of taking him directly to the port mafia quarters.

Why did he do that exactly? If Dazai doesn't care for Chuuya, then why did he give Chuuya the opportunity to pay farewell to his dying friends?

It's actually sort of funny because I don't really think Dazai really realizes or accepts that he feels a certain connection with Chuuya and therefore looks after him.

2. Second time using Corruption: Stormbringer

Chuuya and Dazai's age: 16 yrs old (obviously, its still the same light novel lol)

After losing his strength, Chuuya drifted in the air for a few seconds, then lost the black wings on his back and slowly fell.

Dazai caught his body.

From the spot where Dazai touched, the nulification skill was activated.

The self-contradictory skill that supports the energy of the singular point receded, and the output of the singular point decreased. Eventually, it converged and the "gate" closed. The red imprints disappeared from Chuya's whole body. Eventually, the gravitational field disappeared and the complete silence was restored.

“Good job, Chuuya." Dazai chuckled, looking at Chuuya he was holding in his arms. "I forgot to bring my ink pen, so I'll spare you from having your face scribbled."

As much as it looks like this is from a fanfiction, I can assure you that it's an actual passage from stormbringer.

I can't really say much except the fact that Dazai is being extremely soft here.

And this was the conversation Dazai and Chuuya shared beforehand:

"There is one problem." Dazai cut off his sentence hesitantly. "It has nothing to do with the sucess rate of the plan. It is a matter we have to overcome in the end but... It may require some time to decide."

"What's with you?" Chuuya raised his eyebrows at Dazai. "Stop dramatizing it. Just hurry up and say it."

"I said earlier about this control spell to open the 'gate' that is used to reset the command inside Chuuya, right?" Dazai spoke with a strangely restrained voice. "If we use that, the logs of the command formula that were written in the past will be erased. That means...even if the memory erasure was used on Chuuya in the past, the traces of that will be erased as well."

"What?"

"I told you before right? the memory erasure command. The only way we can confirm if Chuuya is human or not is to check the history to see if the memory erasure command was ever used. It means..." Dazai looked at Chuuya with eyes that he had never looked at him before. Those eyes were serious. "If we use that control spell, the method to confirm if Chuuya is an artificial personality created by a string of code, or just a normal human being, will be lost. For good."

The time had stopped.

Chuuya opened his eyes and looked towards Dazai but his eyes were not seeing anything. The wind blew between the two of them. Even so, Chuuya did not blink.

"Verlaine became like that because he was tormented by the curse that he was not human. That only is enough of a big problem. The matter of being human or not." Dazai looked at his pocket watch, gave it a glance and continued. "I can delay the time until the plan starts for about two minutes. I will send an order for my men to wait... You can think about it alone for a while. Cuz I guess its hard for you to collect your thoughts with me around."

Having said so, Dazai turned away and walked down the stairs, leaving Chuuya alone.

Dazai fixated in his pocket watch. Two more minutes. Too short for a life decision. But he couldn't afford more than that.

Inside Dazai's head, he was planning a procedure to swith to an alternative plan in case Chuuya refused, at a tremendous speed.

After this exchange, Chuuya does decide on using corruption. I have talked about this section on a previous post of mine, and I just love it so much. For starters, I think this conversation that these two shared is very important to their characters.

For Chuuya, it shows us how undeniably selfless he is. He would rather save the people of Yokahama instead of finding out something that meant a lot to him. He sacrificed his own desires to save the people he cares about.

For Dazai its a completely different story, in this exchange Dazai was able to openly express genuine concern for his partner. He also understands the gravity of the decision Chuuya has to take and therefore leaves the decision up to him.

Third time using corruption: Dragon's Head Conflict

Chuuya and Dazai' s age: 16 yrs old

During this one, Chuuya demands to know where his friends are, and Shibusawa says all six of them killed themselves after being caught. Enraged, Chuuya activates Corruption which ultimatley ended the 88 day conflict.

There isn't much to say about Dazai and Chuuya here since there isn't really an aftermath on this occasion but I bealive this picture is enough.

Before reading the DA manga, I genuienly thought that the only time Chuuya ever rested on Dazai's lap was when they were 22 but this proved me wrong.

I mean this is a minimal thing to point out but if Dazai disregarded Chuuya he would've just left him there, right? But instead he remained with Chuuya and allowed him to rest on his lap, in the picture you can also see he is putting Chuuya's hat back on. It's such a simple gesture but it shows us how caring Dazai can be when it comes to Chuuya using corruption.

Fourth time using corruption: Lovecraft Battle, Double Black reunion

Chuuya and Dazai's age: 22 yrs old

This is personally one of my favorite times in which Chuuya uses corruption. The fact that these two had not been working together for 4 years yet they still managed to not only accomplish their mission, but mantain their trust for one another.

I find what Chuuya says here extremely ironic because if anything, the choice has always been up to him. Dazai always uses corruption as a last-resort trick and its always Chuuya who makes the final decision of using it or not, even in a life or death situation Dazai won't take it upon himself to force Chuuya to make the decision if they will be using it or not, and hes always willing to come up with an alternative plan in case Chuuya refuses. (an example of this is when Chuuya used corruption for the 2nd time in SB).

I think the reason as to why Dazai takes corruption extremely seriously is because during stormbringer he was the first person to even see Chuuya use corruption and also the person who understood how corruption will always be sort of like a burden to Chuuya, since it was thanks to corruption that his "am I human?" question stayed unanswered.

He knows how it feels to struggle with your own humanity and he doesn't want for Chuuya (who he literally sees as human), to hold that inner conflict with himself because of corruption.

Anyways, Chuuya decides to go through corruption trusting that Dazai will be there to nullify it.

And of course, Dazai does nullify it.

And after Dazai nullifies corruption, we get this very touching moment between both of them.

This is the first time Chuuya openly admits to trusting Dazai, although it was always evident that he trusts him, I just love how open he is being here.

Also the light punch he gives to Dazai's chest is such a sweet gesture, I see it as a silent way for Chuuya to say "I trust you because after all this time I still see you as my partner."

Dazai's smile in that small pannel is one of the most genuine expression we have gotten out of him. What he says is also a very sweet, I love that he calls him partner. The fact that these two are literally in rival organizations yet Dazai still calls him partner, it shows us that even after all these years he still can't help but see him the same way as he has always done.

Actually in Japanese he calls him "Aibou" and from my understanding, when you use the term Aibou it's for someone who you consider yourself to be close with. It means "partner" like in english but it holds a deeper meaning. If Dazai used the word "nakama" it would have been a very diffrent story since it means partner as well but it isn't used for someone you share a significant connection with. Asagiri's play with words here says a lot.

Fifth time using corruption: Dead Apple

Chuuya and Dazai's age: 22yrs old.

Of course I have to talk about one of the most iconic moments in the history of Soukoku.

Chuuya uses corruption to save Dazai, even if Ango says that he's dead for sure. Something I find very intresting here though is that Chuuya screams for Dazai while he is on corruption, he is obviously not supposed to be self concious about the whole situation, while on Corruption clearly he is not supposed to be in sane state of mind, as we all here know, Chuuya loses control and does not have the track of reality while under his own ability but this time, while using corruption, the one and only thing that was on his mind was "Dazai."

It wasn't only Chuuya who entrusted his life to Dazai, Dazai too entrusted his life in Chuuya's hands. When Dazai came up with this plan, he was more than certain that Chuuya was going to save him. And I think a tumblr blog pointed this out but when Chuuya uses curroption, he cannot control his strength, but when he had to punch Dazai he did it lightly, which is strange considering he was using curroption and it would've made a lot more sence if Dazai ended up decapitated due to being punched by a literal god. Dazai had to have faith in the fact that Chuuya will somehow be able to control corruption, even if its just a little bit.

Afterwards when Chuuya manages to rescue Dazai, Dazai gently touches his cheek to nullify corruption and greets him with, "You used Corruption believing in me? I am so touched I could cry." Chuuya groans, and replies that yes he did, that he believed in his disgusting vitality and craftiness.

When they both fall to the ground, Dazai forces Chuuya to rest in his lap because he didn't want to have to protect him from this situation since the fog is still up and Chuuya himself is all worn out and wouldn't be able to fight. But heres the thing, both Chuuya and Dazai's abilities can't be seperated by the fog. I mean Dazai's ability is nulification so it basically cancels out, and Chuuya hosts a literal god inside him so it isn't really an ability if you know what I mean.

So in reality, Dazai just wanted Chuuya to rest. Dazai could've literally just left Chuuya in the fog if he was only using him for his goals, but he was genuienly appreciating Chuuya's trust in him. The way Dazai's hand is resting on Chuuya's hair is a nice gesture too, he is greatful for him and he is moved that someone trusts him, it is shown throughout the Fifthteen and SB light novel that no one trusted Dazai and how most were afraid to even approach him. And in the ADA, everyone is somewhat warry around him (excluding Atsushi ofc). But Chuuya literally puts his life on the line trusting that Dazai will always be there to save him. He trusts him greatly and Dazai knows that, and I think its pretty clear to us that he would never want to break that trust.

The fact that Chuuya trusts Dazai even after he left the Port Mafia without an explanation or goodbye shows us how strong their bond is. Chuuya most likely trusts Dazai because deep down he knows that he isn't using Chuuya's ability out of his own selifshness, a part of him is aware that Dazai uses corruption as a last resort but he just doesn't want to admit it, and I feel like he also trusts him subconciously because of how gentle Dazai is after Chuuya uses corruption.

I really hope we get to see more of these "corruption moments" because in all honesty, these moments are the ones that bring out the most vulenrability for both characters. The moment corruption is used, we see the inmeasurable amount of trust and care these two have for each other that they won't show in other situations. During these times it always shines a very open and bittersweet light on their bond and I love it so much.

[angelofthenight]

(Boogie Nights) Rahad Jackson x Reader relationship hcs

Gif owner: @nojillnolife

(Idk if this movie even exists on tumblr but when I watched it in film studies and Alfred Molina’s character came on I fell head over heels. There’s barely anything on this app for this character so I’m gonna crown myself of being the only one who wrote for him.)

- No one really knows how you two ended up together because of how unfazed you are of his upbeat strangeness

- All people know is that you were a bartender for a bar he went to once and when you two had one conversation he started going all the time just to talk to you

- People spread a rumor that you were a gold digger but the truth is that you didn’t even know he was rich because he never brought it up or hinted at it and you weren’t good at guessing prices on clothes or watches

- In fact you first found out about his wealth until the 4th date. After months of him relentlessly pursuing and romancing you and you finally agreed to go out with him, he brought you to his house on the 4th date and that’s when it clicked in your mind

- You never really cared about his money though, probably the most you’d make him pay for was food

- First off, Rahad’s a weird guy

- And a little naive

- So like it or not you’re gonna have to be the brains in the relationship, the voice of reason, the mom

- He can be a little naive and as someone as rich as he is he's constantly targeted so you’re gonna have to learn how to use a gun to protect him

- You always have to keep an eye on him when he’s high too (like he’s a dumb child)

- Rahad calls literally every love song on the radio “our song”

- He’s very a affectionate and touchy person

- Not in a gross way just like hand holding, leaning his head on your shoulder, big bear hugs, cuddles

- Lots of surprise hugs from the back around the waist

- If you have boobs he loves smushing his face in them or just laying his face against them

Another funny thing I thought of if you have boobs, he likes using them as his stress balls

Like you guys will be in public and something will happen and next thing you know he’s placing a hand on your tit and you’re smacking his hand away

- Big pda fan, he just loves showing everyone that you are indeed his significant other

- Rahad’s very unintentionally clingy

- Jesus christ sometimes he will not leave your side

- Like literally you can't get rid of him, but in a wholesome way

- He doesn’t really get jealous because he’s just not a very insecure guy and he trusts you a lot, maybe a little more than he should

- He is very protective though

- So he’s a pretty chill guy but at the rare times he gets angry he gets ANGRY

- The only times he gets mad is when someone is harassing you

- His mood will do a whole 180 and he goes from 0 to 100 real quick

- He’s screaming at the creep and repeatedly shoves them away and depending on what they were doing to you he might slyly reveal he has a gun

- Rahad goes into panic mode when you’re upset or crying

“Why are you sad, (y/n) baby? Did someone hurt you? Did someone die? WHAT’S WRONG?”

- He cries with you

- His friends are your friends

- He’s kind of a hopeless romantic

- Like random gifts, flowers, etc

- Loves pet names but combined with your name cause he’s a flirty little shit

“(y/n) baby” is his most used one

- He’s so wild so he’s on board with ANYTHING you want to do at ANY time

- ESPECIALLY when it’s nighttime, he just thinks every adventure is more fun when it’s dark outside

- Although he’s a talker, Rahad loves it when you talk about literally anything

- Like you could be talking about some argument you had with a friend and he’d listen to you silly with lovesick eyes

- He’ll always take your side with your friend group drama, even when he knows you’re in the wrong

- You hate someone? Well now he hates them too

- He’s your ultimate cheerleader and he brags for you all the time

“You should ask (Y/n)! They’re the best at that!”

- He talks about you so much that some people joke that talking about you is his whole personality

- You’re kind of the decision maker in the relationship because he really doesn’t mind or care about you two do

“Do you want takeout or dine in, tonight?”

“Whatever you want”

- He listens to all of your recommended music and even puts your fav songs on his personal playlists

- You can’t really tell if he genuinely likes your music or he’s just pretending to be as obsessed with it as you are

- Also he L O V E S dramatically dancing and singing with you to songs

- Whatever you want, you get

- Rahad’s a PROUD WHIPPED SIMP for you

- He’s a big bed hog and a clinger so prepare for him to end up sprawled across the bed and on top of you

- He wakes up late and goes to bed late so if you’re an early riser just prepare for him to be a koala on you in the morning

- He’s like a puppy everytime you come home

- When he hears the door handle shake he’s already running to the door all excited and when you come in he tackles you to the ground and covers your face in kisses

- Dating him is basically like owning a big dog

- Even though Rahad’s extremely affectionate and lovey dovey he doesn’t get very emotionally vulnerable with you most of the time

- It’s nothing personal or anything wrong with you, he’s just usually always “the funny one”

- But those rare moments where he spills his genuine heart to you is mostly when you’re in bed early and he finally comes too but he’s VERY high

- He’ll look at you with those tired, bloodshot stoned eyes and all of a sudden he’s telling you how much he genuinely is in love with you and how he would literally die for you and other things like how he’d be mentally lost without you in his everyday life

💖💝💘💝💖