#Although I was not sober while watching so that might have been why

[totheember]

I'm happy to announce that my 2 week Minecraft phase has returned with a vengeance

[writtenbyan-aries]

Summary: anon request - "HEAR ME OUT... dealer!colby x reader👀? (colby's her weed dealer..?)"

Warnings: SMUT18+, dealer!Colby, strong language, mentions of weed, smoking, driving while under the influence (please don't ever do that), sex as payment, teasing, heavy flirting, hair pulling, oral (f rec), slight squirting, rough unprotected sex, biting, creampie, nasty filth - this is your second warning :)

Word Count: 5.3k | not really edited

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You exhaled the smoke with a sigh, "We're almost out." You looked around the group and they all groan.

Sam takes the half smoked blunt from your hands and nudges you as he takes a drag, "Why don't you call up that dealer of yours, y/n."

Your eyes go wide, "Sam. Don't."

"Oh come on." He passes the blunt to Jake and looks back at you, "Why not?" You roll your eyes, "Because.. it's not like that."

"What it like then?" Jake asks leaning around Sam, smirking at you as the smoke leaves his lips, "You can't fall for your drug dealer. Nothing good ever comes out of that."

"Nothing is going to come out of it because I don't like him like that." You cross your arms, leaning back in your chair, "But I do like weed, and he's the only one who ever seems to have so.."

You pull your phone out, clicking on the name.

Colby Brock.

Hey, it's y/n.

You rest your phone in your lap, sighing as you look up, waiting for an answer, "Is one of you sober enough to drive?"

They all laugh and Sam looks at you, "I can drive you."

"No you can't." You laugh and watch as he stands up, "What are you doing, Golbach?"

"I'll put on a full sobriety test for you right now." He laughs and the group cheers him on. You roll your eyes, picking up your phone when it vibrates.

I know who you are. Whatcha lookin for?

You pull your bottom lip between your teeth, zoning out as you focus on texting Colby back.

I think you know exactly what I'm looking for. I have some friends over tonight.

You see the text bubbles pop up instantly and you try not to show that this excites you.

You have friends over and didn't invite me? Ouch.

You laugh slightly, sighing as you type.

I didn't think you'd want to hang out with me.

You rest your phone down, looking up to see Sam balancing on one of the patio loungers, "Sam. Get down before you break your neck or something."

He laughs and jumps down, "Are we a go?"

"Not yet. He hasn't said if he's home or not." You check your phone, nothing, so you set it back down, kinda irritated with yourself.

"Drug dealers are always home, y/n." Jake laughs and you shrug, "Not mine. He has a life outside of his business."

"And how would you know that?" Jake raises his brows, smirking slightly and you change your answer, "I don't.. I'm just saying he might."

"Uh huh. Sure."

Your phone vibrates and you look down, nodding as you read the text.

I'm just pickin, y/n. Of course you can come over, just let me know when you're on your way.

"We're good." You look back down and type.

I'll be there soon.

"Alright. See you guys in a few." Sam grabs his keys and you roll your eyes, "Don't break anything while I'm gone."

They all laugh and wave you off as you walk out the gate with Sam, "Are you good to drive?" He looks back at you, "Y/n. If I didn't think I could, I wouldn't have offered."

"Alright." You sigh, giving in just because you wanted to see Colby. You get in, buckling up before punching in the address to Sam's car gps.

"You have that memorized?" He laughs and you nod, "I've been there enough to know." You laugh and he starts driving, glancing over at you once you reach the first red light, "Are you guys hooking up?"

You snort, "Oh my god, Sam. No. He's my weed dealer."

"Yeah, I'm aware of that. But you seem very excited to go see him." Sam starts driving and you shake your head, "I'm not excited to see him, I'm excited to get more weed."

That's a lie. A complete lie. You liked being around Colby. He seemed to like you, and although you weren't sure if it was so you'd keep coming back to buy from him or what, you liked it.

And it works because you go back to him.

And only him.

"I just don't need you getting caught up in his more than weed bullshit." Sam pulls up from your thoughts and you sigh, "From what I know.." you look at him, "Which isn't much.. he only sells weed. Maybe coke? I don't know. I don't ask."

"He has good weed, I'll give him that." Sam chuckles and you nod, "He really does." You giggle and point, "Pull up behind that car."

"Is that his car?" Sam nods towards the blacked out Mercedes and you nod, "I don't know, this is a richy neighborhood so, not sure."

It was definitely his car. You've seen him get out of it one time when you got here too early.

"It's nice, whoever it belongs to." Sam looks over at you, "Text me if you need anything." You smile, "I'll be fine, Sam." You open the door, "I'll be right back."

You get out, making your way through the small alley between the houses and walk up to the back door. It always shocks you that Colby lives in a regular looking house. It's a nice, very rich looking house, but you always pinned him with having a penthouse suite with smoke filling all the rooms and parties every weekend.

But to you, that was just the drug dealer stereotype.

Colby was.. different.

You knock and wait a few seconds before the door opens. You look up, smiling at Colby through the screen door, "Hey."

He pushes the door open and nods for you to come in, "What's up?" He watches you walk by him, checking behind you to make sure no one else is with.

"Not much, really." You stop, turning towards him. He shuts the door, locking it before turning towards you, "Nothing at all?" He chuckles and you shake your head, "Same old, you know."

You laugh slightly and he nods, "I gotta admit, I was kinda shocked to see you texted me with your name."

"I thought you didn't save the numbers of your customers so.." you shrug and he smirks, "not the ones I don't like seeing."

Your heart skips a beat and you smile, "Well thanks." You try to play it cool, you don't want to seem too excited.

"How much are we looking at getting, today Miss y/n?" Colby walks in to his living room, you following behind him, "Um.. I have like six people at my house right now so enough to get me through tonight yet."

"Oh so you can text me and come back tomorrow for more?" He winks and looks down at his stash.

Maybe it was the pot you smoked before, but you felt a weird wave of confidence wash over you, "You're catching onto my tactic, Colbs. Gonna have to switch it up soon."

He looks up at you, a huge smile resting on his face, "I knew it."

"Knew what?" You ask walking over and sitting down in the chair. He shrugs, "You tell me." You lean back, crossing your leg over the other, "Tell you what?"

He leans back as he ties the bag closed, "That I'm your favorite dealer and you can't help but stay away from me."

"You're my only dealer and well.." you smirk as you shrug and tilt your head, "You're not, fully, wrong."

"What am I wrong about then?" He tosses the bag on the table and leans back, "Why don't you enlighten me?"

You remembered that Sam is in the car waiting, "maybe.." you stand up, pulling money from your pocket, "When I see you next, yeah?" You toss the money on the table and reach down to grab the baggie but Colby snatches it away before you can get it in your grasp.

You tilt your head up slightly, looking at him through your lashes, "Is that not enough?"

"Oh no, it's plenty." He leans back, legs spread as his hands rests on his thighs, "you always have to leave so soon, don't you?"

You tilt your head, standing up slowly, "I have a friend waiting for me in the car."

"Oh do ya?" He tisks his tongue, "What a shame."

"Why do you say that?" You lick your lips, crossing your arms as you watch him look up at you. He shrugs, rolling the bag in his fingers, "maybe.. I'll tell you when I see you next, yeah?"

You smirk as he uses your words against you, "Tomorrow?"

He raises his eyebrows, "Yeah. Yeah." He hands you the bag and you gently take it from his open hand, "I'll text you tomorrow. If I'm free, you know." He chuckles and you roll your eyes, "Uh huh."

You smirk as you shove the bag into your jacket pocket, "I'll be free, so.." you purse your lips, "I have to get back to my friends."

"Oh yeah, the party I wasn't invited to." He smirks as he stands up and you point to the door, "Wanna follow us back over?"

He shakes his head, "Nah, I'm not really into group things." He chuckles and you scoff, a laugh quickly following behind, "oh, god. Colby. it's not.. a group thing if that's what you mean."

He shrugs, "You never know." His eyes scan over your face and he bites his lip, letting it pull slowly between his teeth, "Don't wanna keep your friend waiting any longer, right?"

As much as you wanted to say fuck it, and let Sam sit, you had enough respect for him to not do that, "Yeah.. I guess you're right."

You nod to Colby, "Thank you. Again."

He smiles, "I'm always here." He winks and you turn to walk out the door, moving around the banister to walk down the ally.

You speed up your walk to the car and open the door, plopping in with a smile.

"Take it that it went good?" Sam asks with a laugh and you look at him, "Yeah. It always does." You try to play it down, but you can't help but to think about the flirting that just went down.

Colby has an effect on you and you like it.

A lot.

"So what.. you guys get a quickie in or wh-"

"Sam!" You scoff, "Oh my god." You try to fight off your smile, "I wish. But no."

"Gross. That's - no. I didn't need to hear that." Sam pretends to gag as he starts driving, "But on a serious note.." he glances over at you and you know a lecture is in the works.

"What's the serious note, Sam?" You shift slightly and look over at him as you rest your elbow on the door, "If you're going to tell me that Jake was right, and that nothing good ever comes from seeing your dealer.. I know.. and that's why I haven't jumped his bones yet."

He raises his brows, looking over at you quickly before looking back to the road, "Yeah.. I mean.. yeah.." he laughs slightly, "That's what I was going to say."

You laugh, "Colby flirts with me.. yes. But I think that he does that with all of his other female customers. You know, so they keep coming back to him." You shrug, "he's very nice looking, I'll be honest, and yes. I would like to, you know.."

Sam cringes and shakes his head slightly, "uh huh."

"But if I did that, and it blew up, I'd have to find another dealer or I'd quit smoking all together."

Sam looks at you shocked, "You'd.. quit smoking over a guy?" He snorts, "Really?"

You sigh, "Okay. No. Probably not. That's a bit drastic." You laugh, "Kind of. I don't know. I'd just.. i don't know, you have a dealer so you'd be the one we go to."

"Colby has good shit. So in my own.. selfish needs.. please don't blow this." Sam smirks, "Plus.. how do you know he's worth all the hype you tell yourself?"

You shrug, "hard to explain. Maybe you can come in with me next time and see for yourself."

"I'm fine in the car." He says quickly, "I don't need to be doused in all the sexual tension you say there is."

"Good choice." You laugh and watch out the window as he drives you both back to your house.

You knew it was there. As soon as your eyes meet his you get this feeling in the pit of your stomach but the advice, if that's what you want to call it, that Sam and Jake tell you steer you away because you were kind of afraid of rejection.

Especially from Colby.

He's hot. Mysterious, and kinda dangerous.

But that turned you on. Made you want him even more. Even if it was just for one night.

You needed to have him. There was this.. hunger, inside of you that wanted him and only him. No matter the cost because you knew in your heart he wanted you, too.

And you were determined to get him. No matter what anyone said to try and steer you away.

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

The sun shining through your open blinds makes you groan as you roll away to try and avoid it. You took a deep breath, yawning as you sit up.

You take a minute, thinking about the smoke session from last night. Laughing to yourself as you remember all the funny stuff that was said and done.

You bite down on your lip as you remember going to get more weed from Colby. How he flirted with you effortlessly, and how you flirted with him.

You grab your phone, checking to see if he messaged you.

And he did.

Did you go through all of it yet?

That was sent at four thirty two this morning. Right after you decided to call it a night and head to bed.

You mentally curse yourself, mad at yourself because you could have been talking to him. But that's alright, it gives you a chance to take a sober minute and actually think about how you wanted to play this game.

You bite down on your lip as your thumbs pluck the keyboard.

Not all of it, but it definitely won't be enough to last me.

You set your phone down on the bed as you stand up, walking over to grab a change of clothes. You grab your phone before heading to the shower.

As you turn the shower on, you hear your phone buzz, but you don't jump. You get in the shower, closing the door and try not to overthink everything.

Colby does want you, but he won't tell you that. You don't know it, but he has rules. He doesn't hook up with customers, but he has a hard time with you.

As you get out, you wrap a towel around your body and swipe the steam from the mirror away with your hand. You stare at yourself, thinking about the only thing that's really been on your mind lately.

You tap your phone, leaning forward so it'll unlock and your eyes scan over Colby's texts.

You know where to find me. I'll be around today, if you wanted to bang.

I mean hang. Or whatever. lol

Your stomach flips. Or whatever. You bite your thumb nail, sighing to calm your excitement.

I just got out of the shower. I can get dressed and come over?

You walk back over to your room, tossing the original pick of clothes to the floor as you look for something a little more - intriguing.

Your phone buzzes on your dresser and you pick it up. Smirking as you read his response.

Let me know when you're on your way. I'll leave the door unlocked for you.

You smile, texting back a simple, sounds good, before you go back to scouring your closet.

You opt for a simple, yet like you wanted, intriguing look. A pair of black ripped skinny jeans. A cropped white tank top along with cropped dark jean jacket, and black ankle boots.

You finished getting ready and picked up your phone, hands kinda shaking nervously as you type your, I'm ready. Leaving soon, message to Colby.

You grab your bag, making sure you have everything before walking to your car. You take a deep breath, looking at your phone as you read over Colby's text.

Great. See you soon, y/n.

Your heart skips a beat as you put the car in reverse, backing out of your driveway.

You were sober.

Your thoughts about Colby were still clear, and most definitely there.

As you drive over, your fingers tap the steering wheel, anxiously trying to keep the scenarios out of your mind because you don't want to get your hopes up completely.

You pull up behind his car, parking and shutting the engine off. You grab your phone, I'm here. I'll come to the back.

You get out, pulling your bag onto your shoulder and shutting your door. You force yourself to walk, calmly to the back because your excitement was racing sky high.

You honestly didn't know what to expect.

As you walk up the steps, the door opens and Colby pushes the screen door open, "Hello again." You look up, flashing him a smile as you walk by him, "Hey."

He shuts the doors, walking by you to lead you into the living room, "Sleep good?"

You laugh slightly, setting your bag down with a nod, "Oh yeah. I couldn't get them to leave, I was falling asleep before even making it up to my bed."

Colby chuckles, leaning back against the couch, "I would have just went to bed."

"I didn't want to leave them unsupervised." You laugh and sit down, crossing your leg over the other, "I didn't have anything specific planned today, so sleeping in was alright."

"Seemed to work out pretty good." Colby smiles and points, "You wanna.." he trails off watching as you look from him to the tray on the table. You nod, "Please."

You shift through your bag, "fuck." You plop your hand on your bag, looking up at him, "I don't have my wallet."

He furrows his brows, "You.. want to pay me for the joint I offered you?"

You laugh slightly, "No - ah, I mean I was going to see if I could get more but I do-"

He cuts you off, "I'm sure we can come up with a payment arrangement. No worries, sweetheart."

You slowly pull your bag off your lap, plopping it back in the floor, "I'm sure we can."

He smirks as he twists the end of the joint, "Just a heads up, I have like two people coming today, not sure when, though."

You nod, "That's fine."

He lights up the joint, taking a drag. He holds the smoke in as he looks at you. He exhales, "Come on. I don't bite." He smirks as he holds the joint out infront of him.

You smirk, getting up to move next to him and he places the joint in between your lips, "Unless you want me to."

You take a drag, eyes staying locked on his. You pull it from your lips, smiling as you inhale deep. You blow the smoke out, "Don't threaten me with a good time."

"Oh, so you like being bitten?" His brow twitches and you shrug, "Depends on the person, I guess."

He nods, taking the joint from your fingers, "I see." He leans back next to you, picking up his phone from the arm rest of the couch, "Taylor will be here in five."

Your eyes scan over his screen and you can definitely tell it's a girl because on her end, the texts are flirty and cute.

But you can't help but smirk when you see his one to three word responses.

Colby looks at you, smirking, "You know.. I broke my rules for you."

Your eyes snap up to his, "Rules?"

He nods, "Rules. Yes."

You turn towards him, the weed relaxing you enough to egg him on, "Do tell, Mr. Brock."

He chuckles, taking a drag of the joint before handing it to you, "I don't invite people over." He watches you take a drag and his teeth hold his bottom lip, "Especially girls."

"Then why am I here?" You lean forward, taking the joint from his fingers and lean back, slipping the end between your lips and dragging.

Colby stares at you for a few seconds before smirking, "Because I think.." he leans in, eyes on yours, "..you like doing bad things.. with bad boys."

Before you exhale, he slides his hand to the back of your neck, pulling you in just enough for your lips to brush his.

He inhales the smoke as you exhale.

You watch him leans back, smirking as he blows the smoke out, "am I right?"

You shrug, "I wouldn't say.. boys." You smirk, "There's only one, in particular.. and I just so happen to be doing something bad with him.. right now."

"I keep it short with the female customer side. I don't want anyone thinking anything, taking it the wrong way, ya know?" He ashes the joint and sets it down, "But you.."

"My friends.. would tease me about having a crush on you.. but I knew I was right." You cross your arms and shake your head slightly, "I was right."

"Right about what?" He smirks, resting his ankle on his knee, "I'm all ears."

You move closer to him, "There was no shortness." You lick your lips, looking up at him, "There was flirting."

"There sure was." Colby nods with a smirk, "I tried not to. The first couple of times you started coming to me. I did try. But I just couldn't help it."

As you go to lean in, a knock on the door cuts the interaction short.

"Fucking hell." Colby curses, "Why now?"

"It's fine. My only plans today are being here." You smirk and lean back as he stands up. He glances down at you, "Feel free to roll another one if you want."

You nod, smiling as you reach forward to do just as he says. You glance up, watching as the blonde walks through the door, "Hi Colby. Sorry I'm late. The traffic was awful." She smiles and he nods, "How much are you here for?"

You smirk, looking down as he gets right to the point.

"My usual." She giggles, "Colby you should know this by now."

He walks in, "An eighth? A quarter? Your order changes every time, Taylor.." He walks around, sitting down next to you as she stands on the other side of the coffee table, mumbling an almost audible, "Eighth."

You glance up at her, fighting a smirk as you notice her whole demeanor changed since she seen you, "Hey." You tilt your head, flashing her a smile as you twist the end of the cone.

She rolls her eyes, "Yeah, hi." She looks at Colby, "I was wondering if I could do half the payment now then the oth-"

Colby cuts her off with a hard, "No." He chuckles, shaking his head as he bags up the weed, "I don't do that half payment now, other half later bullshit. You know that."

"Are you sure because I can definitely give it to you Friday." She twirls her hair, trying to gain his attention back onto her.

He looks up at her, "It's full payment now or nothing, Taylor." He shrugs, "I don't know who told you I do payment plans, but you need to tell them that they're sadly mistaken."

You lean back, covering your smirk by holding the joint between your lips and lighting it.

"Yeah, I'll definitely tell them." she pulls money out of her back pocket. Colby reaches out for it, but she misses his hand, purposely, and drops it on the table, "That enough?"

He picks it up, counting it, "Sure is. Enjoy." He goes to hand her the bag, but misses her hand, on purpose of course.

She scoffs, "Is this really how you're going to treat me?"

"You get what you give, Taylor. Maybe next time come in here with some respect." Colby stares up at her until she sighs, "Fine."

She bends down, grabbing the bag and walking away. Colby reaches over, plucking the joint from your hand as he yells a sarcastic, "Have a great day."

You giggle, "That was so mean."

He chuckles, "She wasn't going to disrespect me. I won't allow it."

"Yeah, it took all I had to tell her to stop being a bitch." You watch as he takes a drag and exhales, "I would have loved to see it."

"Maybe next time." You wink as you smile, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth as you watch him take another drag.

"So.." he passes you the joint after ashing it, "Where were we?"

You take a drag, holding it in as you tilt your head. You exhale, "I think..." you move closer, "I was about to kiss you."

"I like where this is going." He brushes hair from your face, moving it behind your shoulder, "I think we have some time before the last person shows up.. so.."

You set the joint in the ash tray and move to straddle him. His hands slip into the back pockets of your jeans and give your ass a squeeze. Your eyes scan over his face, locking eyes with his slightly red and blue ones before you dip your head down and lock lips with his.

He groans against you, pulling you closer and you feel the hard bulge of his jeans grind against you.

Your hands move to his hair, tugging slightly as his lips move down your neck. You let out a gasp as you feel him bite down gently.

Your hips move slowly as you feel him mark your neck, "Colby." You whimper quietly, "P-please."

"How bad do you want me, baby?" He leans back, looking up at you and you smirk, "About as bad as you want me."

He smiles, nodding, "You know that's a lot, right?"

You nod, "That's how much I want you."

He stands up, your legs wrapping around his waist, arms around his neck. He walks you back the hall and into his room. He kicks the door shut before walking you over and your back meets the bed.

You sit up slightly, watching as he slips his black t-shirt off, revealing his very fit figure, "Fuck."

He smirks, "Let's see you do that too."

You smirk and sit up, kicking off your boots as you slip off your jacket and toss it, your tank following right behind.

"Shit." Colby whispers as he moves to lay his body over yours. He kisses your lips, moving down your neck and chest. He stops at your boob, taking your nipple in his mouth.

You moan, back arching as he sucks and flicks it with his tongue. Your hand lays on his head, curling his hair around your fingers, "Fuck, yes."

You look down at him and he looks up at you, popping off as he kisses down your torso. Your body jolts as his kisses slightly tickle, but your eyes watch as his hands undo your jeans.

You press your hands into the bed as you lift your hips to allow him to slip off both your jeans and panties in one swoop fell swoop.

He pushes your thighs apart, not giving you a second to process as he drops to his knees and pulls you to the edge of the bed.

He licks his lips before leaning in, attaching them to your clit. You gasp, arching your back as your brows furrow with the scrunch of your face, "S-shit. Yes."

He moans against you, moving his head down to slip his tongue into you. His hands grip your hips, pinning them down as he focuses on the taste of you.

He leans back, eyes locking on yours as your chest rises and falls quickly, "You taste better than I ever thought of."

You smile, biting your lip as you watch him lean back in. Two of his fingers drag up your thigh before they're brought to your center, rubbing gently before slipping inside.

You moan, clenching around him as he thrusts his fingers in and out slowly. His lips trail up your inner thigh, watching as you twist and turn as your orgasm builds up.

“You gonna cum for me?” His voice is low and you nod, eyes still squeezed shut.

“Cum for me, baby. Come on.” His words bring you closer, “You look so pretty when you’re like this. On the verge of snapping.”

You let out a moan as you feel your body tense up and jolt. Liquid leaks out, indicating that he got you to squirt a tad bit, “Yeah, baby. That’s it.” Colby groans as his fingers curl, “Can you do it again for me?”

His lips attach to your clit and you let out a louder moan, whimpering as he gets you to squirt for him again.

“So fuckin’ hot.” He withdrawals his fingers, moving to stand up as he looks over you, “you’re worth breaking my rules for.”

You smile weakly at his words, opening your eyes to lock them on his. You reach up, whimpering as you motion for him to come to you.

He hovers his body over yours, brushing hair from your face. You can see his chin glisten in what little light that’s illuminating the room.

His lips crash onto yours and you moan at the taste of yourself on his tongue.

His cock, that’s pressing teasingly against your pussy, starts to enter and you gasp as he continues to slide fully in.

“Colby.” Your voice is barely there, “Fuck.”

“You are incredible.” He presses a kiss to your forehead before leaning up. His hand lays on your throat, fingers hooking over your bottom row of teeth, “You look incredible like this.”

Your tongue runs over his fingers and he moves his hand so you can wrap your lips around them. Sucking as he slowly pulls out and thrusts back in.

“Rough, Colby.”

And with that, it wasn’t long until you’re flipped over, bent over with your ass in the air and chest pressed against the bed.

His hands tightly gripping your hips as you’re desperately clinging onto the blanket, knuckles white from holding so tight.

His thrusts are punishing. Hard, and fast.

“S-so close.” You moan out loudly, “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” You push your hips back the best you can and Colby leans down, sliding his hand into your hair to lift your head.

His nose rubs the side of your face, “How close?”

“There.. almost there.” Your brain was foggy. You felt like you couldn’t comprehend words.

Colby had you a mess.

An absolute mess.

His hand moves from your hair, sliding around your throat. His thumb gently caresses your face before moving his hand further down to squeeze.

You squeak at the sudden loss of air, trying to moan but nothing is coming out.

Your vision goes black as you feel yourself squeeze his cock and release it as you cum.

He fucks you through your high, moaning lowly in your ear about how much of a good girl you’re being for him.

“Such a good fucking girl.” His lips drag back your cheek and his teeth sink into the lobe of your ear, “Taking me so fucking well.”

His hand releases your throat and you gasp, breathing heavy as you cheek and chest rest against the bed. You reach behind you, looking for his hand.

He grabs your wrist, pinning it down against your lower back, groaning as his thrusts grow sloppy, “Fuck.. where do you want me, y/n?”

In a breath, “Anywhere.”

“Say no more.” He smirks and bites his lip, tilting his head back as he gives you a few more thrusts before they turn sloppy.

He pushes his cock fully into you, moaning as he feels himself spill deep inside of you. He lets go of your hand, gently massaging your hips as he pulls out.

Your body falls onto the bed, collapsing from the exhaustion.

Colby lays next to you, brushes hair from your face with a smile, “You alright?”

You nod weakly, “I’m very alright.” You smile, sliding a hand over to lay on his chest, “Do you still want me to pay for my weed?”

He chuckles and shakes his head, “No.” he brings your hand to his lips, kissing gently, “this payment has been accepted.”

─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ───

YALL I love this. As always, let me know how you liked it!

Likes and reblogs all very appreciated!

Love you all! 🖤

[phamminji]

moving along

non-idol!yu jimin x fem!reader

synopsis: part of ❓

wc: 2.3k

"what's your problem?!"

"you're the problem, y/n."

jimin regretted saying those words, back then and even now. the argument that lasted five minutes felt like five hours but that was all it took to crumble down the perfect relationship you thought you had.

jimin knew she was the one who fucked your relationship up but her senseless pride didn't want to admit it. knowing the fact that you wouldn't come back to her again, not that night, not anymore.

but still she waited for your calls for weeks end, graphing texts to your chat only for her to hastily delete it, hoping you were the one who reached out to her first. although jimin did send out a few messages on some drunk occasions, it didn't really matter anyway since you couldn't see them.

jimin slumped into the bed as she reached for her phone on the night table, occasionally wincing from the head pain, starting to sober up the little hangover from last night's drinking adventures.

it's been months since jimin broke up with you but her mind was only flooded with you. caressing the pillow on the other side of the bed, that used to be yours. she swears she can still smell the scent of you from time to time.

making her way downstairs, she reminisces the times where you would be cooking breakfast for the both of you in the kitchen. how jimin wishes she could still hold your hands and wrap her arms around your frame and give you kisses, living in a world where the two of you lived happily together.

jimin misses everything about you. she slouches on the couch as that thought floats about her head for the ninth time that day. she misses the way your eyes form crescents when you smile, the way you hug her, compliment her, how caring you were, the way the words baby, my love rolled out of your mouth, how you were so kind towards other people, how easily everyone finds you likeable-

how everyone finds you likeable. too likeable.

jimin scrolled through her social media recently, like she does every once in a while and she had randomly come across a picture of you and another girl. the space between the two of you was a little too close for comfort for jimin. seol yoona was it? she confirmed her assumption when she clicked on the tags, scanning through the comments.

jimin remembers you mentioning about yoona before. part of your friend group and someone who jimin had to 'watch out' for. jimin scowls at the remembrance that yoona had confessed to you as a joke at a party before. or was it a joke?

she knows she isn't in the position to feel that there was anything wrong even if the two of them had something going on between them. but why- just why does her heart feel shattered? she feels torn, stinged like a splinter that she couldn't take out. all the rage, anger and hurt inside her boiling with the thought resurfacing every now and then. she knows she shouldn't be feeling like that. she doesn't have the right to.

the thought that you might have already moved on from her, but not only that as you could already possibly be together with yoona etches a frown on jimin's face.

she hates this feeling, utterly.

jimin clicks her tongue, rolling her eyes as she sends a few messages to her friends. it was going to be another long night of alcohol for jimin.

☆

"why the sudden meet up?" aeri questions jimin when she's settled in to the space next to her.

"did you downed all of this already?" yeji asked, holding a bottle in each hand from the opposite side of the booth.

"thanks for coming, guys." jimin talked with a slight slur. "there's no specific reason... i just... wanted to drink." jimin sighed as she lied through her teeth, hoping her friends would take the bait, but of course she knew her friends were smarter than that.

"you called us out... just to drink? don't lie jimin, we know you better than that." ryujin protested, her sharp gaze always making jimin feel like she couldn't fly a lie pass the short-haired girl.

"i'm just-" jimin was still at least half sober, she couldn't get the words out of her throat as she took another bottle and downed a few gulps, "just... missing someone today..."

the other three girls throw each other a knowing glance as yeji sighed, "jimin. is this about y/n again?"

"ah ah ah, let's not mention her name, shall we?" jimin's face glowers, downing the remaining half of the bottle.

is it bad that i'm hoping that you're broken

is it bad that i'm wishing you're still broken

that you haven't found fish in the ocean

"how is she?" jimin is the first one who breaks, after what it seemed like five minutes of silence. she knows why her friends don't answer her questions about you. you were their friend too and they knew jimin had done it wrong big time.

"is she dating someone else?"

another five minutes seem to go by and nobody wants to give jimin an answer, that is until aeri breaks.

"she just looks fine. at least to me. in the least, she isn't crying about you anymo-"

"aeri, you do not know that." yeji cuts off the japanese girl and sends a fierce glare to her.

"i know. i know." aeri defends herself as she hold her arms up, "i just- wanna help them."

"you're not helping them in any way by doing this, aeri. this is their problem to solve. not ours." yeji emphasized, before turning to jimin, "look jimin, the two of you are our friends. i love you but i can't understand why do you care so much about her anyways? weren't you the one who broke things up with her?"

"i know! i know. i know i'm the stupid one. i know i'm the one who ended things. and now i'm the one regretting it but i can only blame myself... i just... don't know why i couldn't admit it earlier. i keep thinking about her, it's gonna make me go crazy." jimin buries her head in her hands as the other three girls watched her sob to herself.

although yeji knew better than to feel sorry, she couldn't help but to feel bad for jimin. as much as she loved seeing the both of you when you were a couple, there had to be a reason why the two of you split apart. yeji had always been there for you. she knows jimin is her friend too, but she wanted to tear jimin apart for breaking your heart. she had watched you cry and sob and scream into your pillow, whenever you looked back at the memories you and jimin shared. as much as she could understand that you missed jimin dearly, she couldn't understand why you would still hold onto your love for her. the amount of heartbreak she felt while looking at you is something she swore to ryujin she would never make her go through.

as her gaze falls upon ryujin, the said girl tapped on her arm, "i think jimin fell asleep."

"let's go guys." yeji said as she stood up from her seat. "we'll send you home, aeri."

"what about jimin?" aeri asked. "is it safe to leave her here like this?"

"don't worry, i've already arranged for someone to take her home."

"oh, alright."

to: y/n come to XXX bar, jimin is drunk. could you send her home? i know you still care about her and this might be a wrong decision i'm making. but i know you need answers. although a drunk jimin isn't the best option, it's all i can offer you. if you don't want to, it's fine.

from: y/n okay. i'll be there in 15.

from: y/n thank you, yeji.

☆

you winced at the smell of alcohol once you had stepped foot into the bar. you never really liked alcohol in general neither were you a person who liked going to these kind of places. the things you do for jimin. were you going to tell yeji you actually needed to take five minutes of deep breaths outside the bar before entering because you were nervous to see jimin again? absolutely not. you didn't know why you were so nervous for. you were just going to bring jimin home, settle her down and you're back home, end of the night.

it's been months since you last seen jimin. you always thought she'd come around and tell you to come back after you left her house that day. but the day never came. that day. a day you didn't want to remember but it's forever etches in your mind that you couldn't forget.

what made you so angry that day? what were the two of you arguing about? what made jimin say that you were the problem? why did she say that? these questions floated in your head for months as you tried reaching out to her, searching for the answers to your questions. but to no avail, she blocked you.

you sigh as you spot jimin, sprawled all over the table.

it's been months, and yet, this woman was still pulling at your heartstrings. why was it so hard to let this woman go and just continue on with your life?

come on y/n. just send the girl home and on her way. then you'll go home once again like nothing happened.

you grabbed one of her arm and slinged it around your neck, trying to get her to stand up, "come on, jimin. let's go home."

"yeji?" jimin slurred, "is that you?" as jimin brought her face closer to yours to get a closer look.

you winced again as you could smell the alcohol from her breath, "yes. it's me. let's go."

the car ride to jimin's place was nothing special. just jimin murmuring a few mutters and you trying to keep your heart intact from jumping out of your chest, reminding yourself that she was the one who had broke your heart and made you feel sorrow.

"jimin, we're here."

with no response, you shift to her side and release the buckle.

"jimin." you try waking her up again, tapping her on the shoulder.

which seemed to work as jimin got up from her slumber for a short moment, still not recognizing that it's you and not yeji.

"yeji, could you help me to the room? my feet feel funny."

you wanted to break a smile as you walked over to the passenger's side of the car. jimin was just goofy as always, just like you remember her to be.

while walking up the stairs, you could feel jimin's face rested against your neck. "yeji... why do you smell like y/n...?"

keeping your silence, you opened the door to her room, as you admired the small area. it was just like you remembered it, where jimin placed her headsets, the clothes she liked to wear as you continue glancing around the room, the photo she took for the both of you was still pasted on the wall.

you felt jimin's hand on the back of your neck, "y/n. i know it's you. this perfume... is yours."

you didn't want to turn around to face jimin. especially not when she had already recognized you.

"y/n... please... can you give me one more chance? please don't be with her... i missed you... so much." you could feel yourself shivering as jimin whispered those words into your ear, wrapping her arms around your waist.

"it's not that easy jimin. do you know how long have i been trying to get an answer from you? you always close up to yourself. was it me that was in the wrong? do you know how long have i been thinking to myself, maybe i was in the wrong, but i never knew what was i in the wrong for." you pull jimin's arms away and you turned to look at her.

"i love you, y/n."

"i don't need that right now, jimin. what i need are answers. how are we going to fix the problem, how am i going to fix my problem if i don't know what the problem is?"

jimin cups your cheek with one hand, then the other. without saying anything, she dives for it. holding your cheeks tight, pulling you into a desperate kiss, her lips moving sloppily against your frozen ones.

this is not what you want, she's under the influence.

you push her shoulders away, "you can't just break my heart and then try to mend it again, jimin. it's broken. saying that you love me or you miss me isn't going to fix the broken pieces."

you bite your lower lip, trying not to tear up in front of jimin.

"i really want us to work out again, y/n." jimin reaches out to grab your hand but you pull away.

"then why? then why didn't you look for me when i left? how do you want us to work out if i can't even see you trying? why do you only know how to say you miss me or you love me when you're drunk?" the tears now falling down from your cheeks, not even caring if jimin sees you crying.

"i promise things will be different this time." jimin tries to reassure you, but you've seen too much to know it.

"you know what, call me when you're sober tomorrow, jimin. if you mean what you say... maybe i'll consider it." you wipe your tears, before leaving jimin behind in her room, without looking back.

"wait y/n, please! stay with me..."

once you reach home, you flopped onto the floor as you sob to your pillow. once again, all alone. all by yourself, knowing that that phone call will never come.

yu jimin broke your heart again.

SORRY i am late but here it is the first part of the poll! sorry if this sucks, i really lost touch and am very rusty :( thank you guys for 500 ❤️

(this one's for @perfectsunlight @rosiehrs)

[snuggerudsz]

YOU’RE LOSING ME l NH13

summary: nico is pulling away, and although you're desperately trying to hold on, you can't stop the two of you from falling apart at the seams.

pairing: nico hischier x fem!reader

author's note: hi!!! been trying to finish this for a few days, but i just couldn't write anything for the ending, so the end is kinda méh. anyways, i hope you enjoy! remember: likes and reblogs are always welcomed and appreciated!!! thank you so much for reading!! <3333

You met Nico Hischier in the winter. It was freezing in New Jersey, but his warm hands and big brown eyes warmed you from the inside out.  He was passionate, understanding, kind, and delightful. Nico Hischier was the closest to perfection anyone has ever been. Or, used to be, at least. Now, you felt like you hadn’t seen him in days, even if you lived in the same apartment. He was gone before you were up and came back home when you were already sound asleep. You couldn't pinpoint the moment everything went downhill, and Nico stopped being the perfect boyfriend he had always been, but it was slowly killing you. 

You knew you’d eventually have to let Nico go. It was the hardest thing you’d have to do, so you didn’t. You ignored the hurt when he refused to spend time with you, or when he forgot date night, or when he stopped telling you to come to his games, or when he started to go out more and more, or when he stopped texting and calling you back, or when he seemingly stopped caring. But you couldn’t escape it forever, and, most importantly, you couldn’t keep fighting this battle alone, holding on to a dying relationship until your knuckles turned white. You were miserable, and you couldn’t live your whole life like this.

You took a deep breath, watching as the rain poured down through your windows. The raindrops echoed harshly on the roof of the building, bringing an unsettling feeling to weigh in your stomach. It was loud and anxiety-inducing. It made you want to disappear under the covers, cuddled up to your boyfriend.

The rain seemed to get louder with each passing second. Your head pounded and your vision was blurred. Another deep breath, trying to calm yourself down. It's just rain, you tried telling yourself.

Nights like these would have Nico holding you tightly and whispering sweet nothing into your ear until you fell asleep in his arms. If he was away, you knew you could always call him. Nico would always pick up after the second ring, even if he had been sleeping. And then they would sit there and talk, letting the darkness fade away until the nightmares were long gone, and all there was left in the world was the two of you. Until you could sleep through the night, thinking of the man who would always be there for him. But when, once again, Nico sends some half-assed excuse about missing date night because he’s going out with the boys for “team bonding”, you know you’re done. You were already reaching your breaking point and this might just have been the final blow. You take off the fancy dress, and the makeup and start packing. 

Putting all of your clothes 一 or, most of them, at least, 一 is the most painful thing you’ve ever done. Especially, when all that’s left in your side of the closet are your favorite of Nico’s hoodies. 

After packing all the most important stuff, you decide to get an uber. You’ll text Nico tomorrow and explain everything and then, you can come sometime later this week to get the rest of your stuff. Right now, you just need to leave peacefully. But you know it won’t be this easy when you hear the door open. You walk out, going to the living room, where Nico is just entering. He’s stumbling slightly and reeking of alcohol.

“Baby? Why are you still up?”

“I think we should break up.” You say, without looking at Nico.

“What?” He questions, suddenly sobered up by your statement.

“Nico, I love you. But this isn’t fair.” Anger sounds through your voice, while you continue, “I can’t keep trying to keep us afloat on my own anymore. I’m drowning.” 

“Baby, where is this coming from?” Nico asks, with a shocked expression on his face.

“I can’t do this anymore, Nico.” Tears well up in your eyes as you speak, “This is fucking killing me. I love you in every possible way I can love someone, but you don’t even care. I’m hurt, and I’m so tired. I’m fucking exhausted, Nico.” You cry out.

“Why are you doing this?” Nico questions, again, incapable of wrapping his mind around you leaving.

“Because of you.” Bitterly, you answer, tears streaming down your face. “You pushed me away. I was here every single day, for you. And it tears me apart because you used to be mine. And I-”

“I’m yours,” He says, cutting you off desperately

“You were mine, Nico. And I was yours. I thought the world of you, I’d have done anything for you and now, you’re the one who hurts me the most. I just wanted you to be here. To try. To love me.”

 That’s when it finally clicked. The words coming out of your mouth started to make sense and guilt started to eat away at Nico. How could he be so stupid? He wasn’t trying to push you away, but he also hadn’t done much to keep you around. He felt like a failure. He had allowed the one thing he always vowed wouldn’t be in the way of your relationship to do so and destroy what he cared about the most: You. And now, he was losing you. How had he not realized this before? How had he not seen this coming? How does he make it stop?

“I don’t wanna lose you,” Nico manages to choke out, fear suddenly consuming him, “I love you. You’re the most important person in my life, let me prove it to you, please. Just don’t go. Please,” He begs, “Give me a second chance. I’ll show you how much I need you. I’ll do better. I’ll be better,” Nico pleads, teary-eyed. 

“I have to go, Nico.” You mutter, looking down to the ground

“No.” The man interrupted you, shaking his head and fighting tears, in denial, refusing to believe the words you were saying. “Please, stay” His watery eyes scanned your face, looking panicked, searching for anything he could hold on to.

“I can’t, Nico.” You answer, whispering, avoiding his eyes. “Not anymore. I don’t wanna lose you, but I can’t live like this forever.”

“You won’t have to. I promise I’ll be better, I’ll-” Nico tries to plead, pulling your hand into his.

“Nico, it’s over.” You interrupted him, too drained to keep discussing it any longer. And then he lets go of your hand.

He wasn’t ready.

He didn’t want to let go.

But he had no choice.

Still, he let you go.

[milykins]

Second Chances: Part 3

Special thanks to @the-cauldron-witch taking the time to beta-read this!

Part 1 Part 2

TW: Chapter contains sexual content and mentions of pregnancy loss

Summary: Chrissy and Raph grow stronger as he begins training her and she meets the rest of his family, including his niece and nephew.

You’re not just…

Just another love, this story happens once

As the weeks progressed, so did their connection. Being with her was effortless, like a nap in the shade on a hot summer day. He felt a lightness within himself that had never really been present before. Chrissy had replaced his insecurities and fears with unconditional love and understanding. It was both humbling and sobering that one person could do that.

About a month after they had reestablished things, he began training her. He was partly driven by a deep fear of someone hurting her and partly because he felt an inherent need to prepare her for any situation that might arise.

It was mutual. Chrissy had also expressed a desire to learn how to defend herself. Raph gave her a sense of strength and power she hadn’t realized she possessed. She liked it, even craved it. Every time she delivered a powerful punch, performed a successful block, or broke free from a hold, his praise was everything she needed to hear. She would bounce cutely on her heels and look so proud, like an eager child.

Raph was pleased with the development of her skills. She was a natural when it came to martial arts and self-defence. Watching her progress eased his fears just a bit and provided him with the glimmer of hope he needed regarding her safety. Chrissy was no pushover to begin with; she’d faced down angry bridezillas and countless ‘Karens’ in her line of work as an event planner. Now, she possessed both strength in her words and her body as well.

Raph loved himself a strong woman, which is why he began seeing her all those months ago. He had not been willing to admit to himself that she’d been perfect for him right from the beginning. Instead, he’d taken her for granted and still felt a twinge of guilt when he thought about how he’d acted.

The training not only strengthened her physically, it also gave them both the perfect excuse to blow off steam afterward, usually in the showers. Washing each other usually resulted in her clinging to him naked and breathless, pressed up against the tile as he pounded relentlessly into her. It was everything.

On this particular Saturday, training was paused for a special occasion. Raph’s two brothers had journeyed from the farmhouse to visit. This marked Chrissy’s first time meeting everyone, and she felt both nervous and excited.

Although they had been together while Mira and Mikey were trying for a baby, Raphael had initially chosen not to tell her about it. It was uncertain whether her pregnancy would be successful. She’d lost the first one, and Chrissy would have been saddened by that. Fortunately, her second pregnancy, along with Ana’s, resulted in two healthy babies.

Mikey, Mira and little Bennet were the first to arrive. Upon entering, the tiny whirlwind of a turtle tot demanded to be placed down and made a beeline for his uncles. Off he sped, his chubby little legs going as fast as they could while he babbled happily. He had his father’s energy and his mother’s kindness all bundled together in one single adorable package. His baby blue eyes shone brightly as he jumped into Raph’s arms. Despite being just a little over a year old, he appeared to be older. Raph had explained that the mutagen in their blood caused him to age a little bit faster.

Catching the little ball of energy with ease, Raph tossed him into the air, eliciting a gasp from Mira. Mikey’s brothers always managed to give her a mini heart attack when they held her baby. They may be ninjas, but this was her baby!

When caught, Bennett shrieked with glee, again demanding to be tossed. Raphael complied by tossing him right over to Leo.

Leo didn’t seem to be paying attention, which caused Mira considerable distress. He had been greeting his brother while glancing towards where Donnie and his family had arrived. Bennet laughed, soaring through the air towards his uncle in blue. Leo caught him at the very last moment, lifting him onto his shoulders as if nothing had happened. Bennett was all smiles and giggles as he clung tightly to his uncle’s head.

Mira sagged with relief as Mikey pulled her into a hug, whispering apologies and reassuring her that Bennett would be just fine.

Chrissy gently slapped Raph’s bicep, a disapproving look on her delicate features. Raph merely shrugged with a soft chuckle. “What? I knew Leo would catch him. He did, didn’t he?” The turtle in red smirked. “We’d never hurt him.”

Feeling somewhat mollified, Chrissy’s gaze was drawn to the smaller baby in his brother Donnie’s arms.

This was baby Harmony. She was five months younger than Bennet and a sweet, roly-poly ball of smiles and gentle charm. She had round hazel eyes and soft wisps of red-auburn hair.

“You must be Chrissy,” Donnie greeted kindly. “This is my wife, Ana.”

As the two women greeted each other, Mira joined them, eager to introduce herself. Mira had previously known about Chrissy and was delighted that she and Raph had resolved their issues. She had been very much looking forward to meeting her.

As Chrissy spoke with the two women, she felt a camaraderie forming. It was as if they were all part of an exclusive club–one she’d been fortunate enough to join. Soon enough, the three of them sat comfortably around the kitchen table, cups of tea in hand and a plate of snacks at the center, provided by Mikey, of course.

At one point, Chrissy was handed little Harmony. The baby was so relaxed and calm that she fell asleep in minutes. Chrissy melted, feeling a deep sense of longing.

Chrissy gained valuable insight into their lives as Mira and Ana explained everything she’d been missing.

Mira recounted her story of how she entered Mikey’s life by first accidentally capturing him on film. Naturally, they met over pizza, specifically from the little shop where she’d been working. Ultimately, the rest was history. It was a love story for the ages.

Ana took over with her tale of how Donnie had managed to create an artificial assistant to help him. The AI surprised him by developing a consciousness of its own. The story was wild, with Donnie juggling both his AI-turned-android assistant, his budding relationship with Ana, and their groundbreaking work in fertility.

Although it had been a difficult journey, the AI had proven itself in the end to be a valued member of their family. Not only had it saved her daughter’s life, but it had sacrificed itself to save Ana and Donnie from a cave-in.

Chrissy could hardly contain her surprise at the incredible story. She knew that Donnie was the smartest of his brothers, but this was genius-level intelligence. She felt both awed and slightly intimidated, as there seemed to be no limit to what he could create.

It was then that Mira chose to share her pregnancy journey, including the pain of losing her first child to an ectopic pregnancy. Chrissy had taken her hand as she listened. She was astounded by the strength it must have taken to go through something like that. It took everything within her not to cry along with Mira as she became teary, her voice thick with emotion.

Despite the pain she must have felt, Mira wiped her eyes with a smile. "But that’s how we got our Bennett… our tiny ball of sunshine and laughter.” She laughed tearfully and felt herself being pulled into a hug by Ana.

Chrissy squeezed her hand. “He’s a beautiful little boy; you and Mikey must be so proud.” She was in awe of everything she’d heard.

She found herself looking at Raph, the gentle giant cradling his nephew in his arms. The image of him as a parent holding a tiny bundle came to her mind unbidden, making her heart squeeze with longing. She wanted that. She didn’t know how or when it might happen, but she wanted to experience it with him.

Mira seemed to catch on what she was thinking and shared a knowing smile with Ana. “Is he good to you?”

Bringing her focus back to the two women, Chrissy nodded. “Hm? Yes. He’s been amazing. It’s a bit corny, but he feels like my other half.”

Patting her hand with a soft laugh, Mira and Ana shared a smile. “Chrissy, we both felt the same way with Mikey and Donnie. Nothing quite compares to them.”

Jumping right in with an added response, Ana placed her hand on theirs. “It might have taken you both a little longer, but you made it in the end!”

Chrissy’s heart swelled with their kind words. “I’m just glad Raph came around and stopped being such an idiot.” She laughed softly, snorting even more when the turtle in question glanced her way, a quizzical look on his face.

The four brothers were thoroughly engaged in their own conversation. Raph had already razzed Mikey for telling revealing his secret love of anime. They’d moved onto teasing Leo.

“Now we just gotta find Leo a girl.” Raph had said, affectionately giving him a shove.

“Or a dude!” Mikey chimed in, snorting as Leo rolled his eyes upward.

“I’m seriously fine, I don’t need a girlfriend.” His protests seemed to fall on deaf ears, apparently because all three of his brothers were insisting that he did.

“Just put yourself out there, Leo. That’s what I did.” Mikey’s words had a boastful quality, as if he hadn’t gotten lucky to meet Mira at all. She had actually run from him at first because she thought he had been wearing a mask.

The ribbing continued until Leo scoffed them off and proposed a party game. The women eagerly jumped at the chance to play. It was a hilarious and enjoyable experience for all. Chrissy had a fantastic time and felt sad when the time came to leave.

Afterward, Raph escorted her safely home, and she quietly hugged him for a long while.

I was a fool, you know

‘Cause who’d ever let you go?

Whispering her thanks, she cradled his cheek and kissed it. “Thank you, that was wonderful.”

“Glad ya enjoyed it.” He was genuinely pleased everything had gone so well. Seeing Chrissy hold his niece had ignited something within him. She’d been glowing with maternal warmth, and his instincts had taken on a protective edge.

She seemed to sense this as she tucked her head under his chin. “Holding babies looks good on you Raph.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Taking a breath to bolster her confidence, she looked up into those piercing green eyes of his, her voice cracking slightly. “I want that with you, Raphael. I want it all.”

I made you feel worthless

You should have felt priceless

I was in the wrong, yeah

But now I’m gonna right this

No, I didn’t see it from the start

But now I know exactly who you are

His heart leapt into his throat as he struggled to answer. “But I’m not… are ya sure…” Grounding himself, he brought forth logic for once instead of panic. She’s safe, remember? She’s everything you need and she wouldn’t be telling you this if she didn’t mean it.

“I’m sure,” she said, her voice firm yet gentle. “As long as it’s with you.”

You want this too. You’ll do anything as long as it’s with her. “I’m honoured… and I want that too. I’d follow you to hell and back if you asked me.”

Her response was sealed with a kiss.

You’re not just someone I can live with

You’re someone I can’t live without

Not just someone I can be with

You’re someone I can’t be without

I will stop it nothing ‘cause I know you’re the one

I want it all and then some

I want it all and then some

The promise of a future and children with Raphael. Chrissy didn’t think her life could get much better than this. She was walking to meet him, dinner in hand—takeout from that Italian place she liked. He was waiting for her in his trench coat disguise.

Chrissy was humming along, with a spring in her step, when a masked figure appeared seemingly out of nowhere. He demanded that she give him all her money and food, too.

Releasing a breath, she steeled herself. The first thing Raph had taught her in these situations was to stay calm. She had no intention of giving this man anything.

When he threatened her again and lunged for her purse, she dropped the bag and grabbed his wrist, twisting it painfully behind his back.

Surprised by this, the man attempted to overpower her and break the hold she had on him.

Chrissy was more than ready for this and remembered from months of training all of the vulnerable spots to cause him pain. Solar plexus, instep, chin and her personal favourite, groin.

By the end of it, the mugger lay a writhing mess on the ground, groaning in pain.

Raph, meanwhile, had been concerned at her delayed arrival. Fearing the worst, he rushed to her location. To say he was surprised by what he discovered when he dropped down beside her was an understatement.

“Baby, holy shit, are you okay?” His hands were all over her, checking for possible injuries. He swore that he would make that piece of shit hurt worse than what she did to him if he found a single scratch.

Her voice was calm yet a bit shaky. “I’m okay, Raph… I remembered what you taught me.” She gasped as she was pulled tightly against his chest. Raph’s heart was pounding. She could feel it even through the thick plastron on his chest. “I’m okay, big guy… I promise.”

Releasing a shaky breath of his own, Raph swept her into his arms without saying another word. Chrissy just managed to grab their dinner as he whisked her away from there.

You’re not just…

Just another love, this story happens once

You’re not just…

Just another love, this story happens once

Neither of them registered the trip back to Chrissy’s apartment. It was as if Raph was moving purely by muscle memory alone. That had been too close for him. He needed to get her safe, to have her locked in his arms where nothing could harm her. Upon entering, the bag containing their dinner fell to the floor, and they were in each other’s arms, kissing each other hungrily.

“Fuck, ya scared me…” he breathed as he pulled away from her lips.

“I told you I’m not exactly helpless, Raph.” She gently brushed her knuckles against his face. “You taught me well.”

He was filled with pride; his scrappy little fighter had both beauty and strength. “I love you so damn much..."

“I love you too.” She kissed him again, capturing his lower lip to gently suck it between her teeth. She felt a spark of satisfaction as she elicited a soft groan from deep within his chest.

His reaction also prompted him to pull her closer, one hand on her ass and the other tangled in her hair as he kissed her more deeply.

You’re so fucking beautiful…” He declared huskily. “Please grow your hair out again…”

Chrissy removed the tan-coloured fedora he was wearing and threw it across the room. “Only for you, Raph...” was her breathless reply.

He kissed her again, brushing her hair aside to access the delicate skin of her neck. He latched on, sucking her pulse point into a neat little bruise before he smiled against her skin. “Gonna show everyone you’re mine…”

Chrissy felt her knees buckle slightly, her breath catching in her throat. She had forgotten how a single sentence of his could reduce her to a needy, trembling mess. “You better…” She felt him press more hot kisses to her skin and expected to be covered in marks by morning.

As her need for him intensified, her nimble fingers found the buttons of his trench coat, popping them open one at a time. She pushed the garment off his shoulders before splaying her hands on his chest. He was devastatingly handsome, with every scar, dip, and ridge in his plastron and his intense gaze of green and gold. She loved it all.

Raphael regarded her quietly. His gaze was fixed on her a moment before he tugged her close, nuzzling her neck with a soft growl. “I can’t believe you’re mine…” he murmured.

“Kiss me, Raphael.” She whispered. “Make me yours.”

Not that there had been much holding him back to begin with; the last thread of his control snapped, and his gaze darkened. The clothes were nearly torn from her body, exposing more and more of her flushed skin. “Mine…” he growled, lifting her effortlessly and heading to her bedroom.

All she could do was hold on and kiss his neck, collarbone, jawline, and shoulder, wherever she could reach.

Though Raph had carried her like a barbarian on a mission to claim his prize, he placed her on her bed with surprising gentleness. His desire to care for her outweighed his intense need to claim her. The rest of his clothes were tossed aside carelessly. His tail was curled under, revealing the evidence of his arousal emerging from the slit there.

“Fuck…” she whispered. He was still as awe-inspiring as ever. No other man would ever compare to him. The cocky smirk he gave her showed her he knew it, too. “Get over here already and wreck me, already.”

He moved with a surprising amount of speed, tearing her underwear off and positioning himself over her, kissing her roughly. He wanted to taste every inch of her as he reacquainted himself with her body.

All Chrissy could do was surrender herself to his touch, her body arching in response to his large hands and talented tongue. Oh, God…

His touch was everywhere, mapping out her soft, creamy skin like he was committing every part to memory. He loved her breasts in particular, how they fit perfectly into the palms of his hands. How they felt when he squeezed them and angled them up into his waiting mouth.

He latched onto one those wonderfully pert, pink nipples of hers and sucked. The action had her sucking in a breath and grasping for his head. The only bit of clothing he had left on was his red head-covering, and she removed it. Neither breast was left unattended as he gave both an equal amount of love. Finally releasing one with a pop, he kissed her lower across her belly and lower still. He sucked more love bites into her ample thighs.

His actions had her trembling already. The sharp, sweet scent of her arousal was driving him insane; he had to have a taste. “Want my tongue tasting that pretty pussy of yours?” He husked.

Chrissy was so far gone with need that he could say pretty much anything, and it would be a resounding yes. “Fuck… please Raph, I want it so bad…!”

Flicking his tongue across her nub granted him a jolt of her hips. A lick along the fleshy pink, inner lips of her core had her moaning for more. He delved right in for more, massaging her clit with the tip of his tongue and circling it until she was begging him for release.

He let his thumb take over where his tongue had been, rubbing her just the way she liked. “Ya gonna come for me, beautiful? Let me hear ya…”

His tongue was thrusting inside, hitting parts within her that shouldn’t be possible. She was fisting the sheets now, flooded with warmth, her release just about to hit. “Raph… I’m… gonna… FUCK!” Overcome by pleasure, he had to hold her hips tightly in place to make sure she was completely spent.

Chrissy’s cries of ecstasy were music to his ears. It had been far too long since he had heard the sweet sounds she produced.

Raph had decided long ago that this was how he wanted her every time they made love. Her breasts were heaving, and her body flushed pink, her breath coming in soft, little pants. It was a deep form of satisfaction knowing that he was the one to draw this reaction from her. Him and only him, just how it should be.

“Raph… fuck me please…” Her soft request had him covering her body with his own and holding her wrists above her head firmly. With a roll of his hips, he nearly pushed his thick length inside of her, earning a throaty gasp. “Ya want my cock inside that sweet pussy?”

“Yes! Fuck! Please, Raph!” Chrissy was so far gone with need she was begging him and bucking her hips slightly to try and draw him inside of her.

Nothing was holding him back from filling her, right to the hilt. “Fuuuck… baby, you feel so fucking good…”

At one point, Raph’s length had taken some getting used to. It was a tight fit but still manageable. Raph never skipped the foreplay; not only did he enjoy it, but it was a necessity. He’d be damned if Chrissy felt even a single ounce of pain due to him not preparing her to take him.

He still searched her face for any signs of discomfort regardless. When he saw none, he moved, a few slow rolls of his hips, just enough to make her clutch the hands that held her wrists.

Releasing her wrists, Raph slipped both arms underneath her body, holding her crushingly close. His thrusts were faster now, deep and punishing as if he was trying to be one with her.

Chrissy could do nothing but hold onto dear life as he fucked her into the mattress. She was becoming completely undone, gasping, trembling, becoming completely incoherent as she drew closer and closer to her release.

It was Raph’s voice, deep and demanding as he slightly changed the angle of his thrusts that did her in. “Scream … you’re fucking mine and you’re gonna cum… just for me.”

The cry that he ripped from her was nothing short of complete unadulterated pleasure. Her screams were surely loud enough to be heard in the surrounding apartments. Raph never slowed his pace until he knew she was completely spent. Only then did he allow himself to finish, pouring himself inside of her with a deep groan.

He was always gentle after sex, holding her tenderly, pressing soft kisses wherever he could reach, withdrawing gently so he could cradle her close and whisper soft words of affirmation. “You’re so beautiful, babe… I love you so much…”

“I love you too… stay… I want you to stay with me, always.” Chrissy was now and forever his, and he would never let her go again.

“Always.”

You’re not just someone I can live with

You’re someone I can’t live without

Not just someone I can be with

You’re someone I can’t be without

I will stop it nothing ‘cause I know you’re the one

I want it all and then some

I want it all and then some

@danceingfae @thelaundrybitch @iridescentflamingo @redsrooftopprincess @ninnosaurus

@the-cauldron-witch @thepinkpanther83 @avery73 @adebauchedsloth @sophiacloud28

@definitely-canon @scholastic-dragon @truffle-reblogs @fyreball66 @yorshie

[bucksboobs]

not to assume the worst (or best depending on what side ur on lmao) but i think based on the preview, the boys don’t remember anything about the night but the girls do and i think what they don’t remember is genuinely fucking (clip in the preview of saxon clearly being ridden but played up to dramatize who it might be) (and it wouldn’t be a reveal unless it’s lochy lol) although (and sorry again to bring up the worst lmao) but i can’t imagine the logistics of a virgin getting prepped and ready and riding someone all while zonked out of his mind, especially if the two girls where sober enough to remember (which would assume they shouldve been sober enough to not let it get that far) OR it could just be head

So based on what we know so far I think it’s going to be Lochlan giving Saxon head. We see them getting touchy in the leadup to the foursome (which for those who haven’t watched, looks like it’s happening at the beginning of next episode) and in the teaser they’re high fiving after what I assume is them getting the girls naked, and it’s already established that Saxon has no qualms being naked in front of Lachlan so I think, based on how Lachlan pressed that kiss, he’s going to keep pushing the boundaries during the foursome (or threesome, I have a feeling Chelsea is going to chicken out) and not really care about Chloe being there except as a buffer (“it’s not gay if it’s in a threeway” style). Sidenote: I think Chloe will get offended that the little magician is more into his own brother than her and that’s why she tells Greg about Saxon sleeping with her.

[cynicallarrie]

One of Louis issues is that he lost the one person who's advice and authority he respected ... his mother ... and nobody else has come forward to take that role. He's surrounded by sycophantic types like Oli who are on his pay roll and just join in with the partying. I'm still kind of a Larrie but I don't think Harry has much influence over his drinking either. Louis probably screams back that Harry does coke and mushrooms. Difference is that Harry is sober when he's performing and sober when he's cycling around London on the godforsaken Lime bike, we occasionally see Harry obviously intoxicated whereas with Louis we rarely see him sober.

I don't think Harry is completely sober while performing lol. Just not as drunk or high as Louis is.

Louis, imo, never had a proper father figure in his life. His stepdad came into his life when he was, what, seven? It may have been sooner, but I don't know. Either way, they're obviously not close. Louis used to call him "dad" but now refers to him as "Mark," which is a strange thing to do if your stepdad has taken you in as and sees you as his son. I'm pretty sure he even adopted him! That's why Louis took the name "Tomlinson," of which he's still proud for some reason.

Mark must have issues with Louis as well considering he refuses to mention Freddie and only talks about his "two grandkids." He even has his daughters' names all tattooed on his arms, yet Louis's name is nowhere to be found.

I don't know whether this falling out was due to Mark's and Jay's divorce either because, in a video from ~2011, Louis says "my mom and dad are getting a divorce," which indicates that he still saw Mark as his dad at that time. Although, if I'm being honest, I don't think Louis ever really saw Mark as his dad in the first place but that he was just calling him "dad" as some kind of sign of respect; maybe he was desperate for Mark to be a father to him, or maybe Louis's mom wanted him to call Mark "dad."

He had Simon Cowell, and though Simon was a bad influence when it came to smoking, he did discourage Louis from drinking too much before a show. Louis seemed to take that lesson to heart according to a few interviews but has relapsed. I don't know what's since happened between them because Louis used to be the only one who followed Simon on instagram, but it seems all the 1D guys have unfollowed him after the Diary of a CEO interview. A lot of people think Louis has always hated Simon, but the truth is that they are (or were) close. You hear what they've said about each other and their relationship and you watch them on X-Factor and you can see they're close, and they're even very alike (as Louis himself has admitted), though most louies and larries would never agree with that.

So yeah. Louis is practically on his own now.

I think that, no matter how old you get, you need your parents or people in your life to help you stay on track. You never turn a certain age and just magically have full self-control, but you do have to accept responsibility for whatever you do or don't do.

Harry also has his own daddy issues, but at least he has a good number of older colleagues and supervisors who are, in a way, "responsible" for him. It might be to a point where it's on the other end of an extreme though. Like, I really think he's been babied his whole life. Maybe his daddy issues are why he's so drawn to much older people, especially men. Louis seems to be this way too, but they just let him drink and smoke all day. I'm sure Harry's older friends as well are the ones who got him into coke and shrooms.

[translations-dark-matter]

Living as an Extra in an Omegaverse novel

Side story Chapter 19

“Are you alive?”

Se-hyeon poked Shin Tae-oh's cheek, who was motionless with his eyes closed as if he were dead.

Shin Tae-oh mainly enjoyed wine, so he became helplessly intoxicated with hardened liquor.

“Drink in moderation.”

I don't know when I might get drunk from alcohol that I don't know well, so I tend to back off in moderation. Why did I drink everything that was offered to me?

Se-hyeon, who was watching from the side, was so nervous that he thought he might have to call 911. Fortunately, Shin Tae-oh was moderately drunk and collapsed after only moderate drinking.

Se-hyeon gave Shin Tae-oh a gentle nudge on his other cheek as well.

“My parents originally planned to allow it.”

When I told my parents that I was going to visit them, they were already expecting Se-hyeon to come to ask for permission to get married. It turns out that since Shin Tae-oh arranged a dinner meeting instead of a regular meeting last time, they have been waiting to find out when he would come to say he would get married.

Kkultteok was quite embarrassed because I told him about it this time.

“Well, you did well anyway.”

His father was happy because he had a drinking buddy after a long time.

Se-hyeon stopped poking Shin Tae-oh's cheek and this time caressed his cheek with the palm of his hand. Perhaps because he had been drinking, Shin Tae-oh's body felt hot. Shin Tae-oh leaned closer to Se-hyeon in his sleep. Like a baby bird trying to find the warmest and most comfortable spot in the nest.

I'm not saying Shin Tae-oh is a baby bird, but…

Se-hyeon's eyes narrowed and he stared at Shin Tae-oh's face.

“Oh, what should I do with this?”

While listening to Shin Tae-oh's even breathing, Se-hyeon spoke to himself in a somewhat awkward tone.

“I was going to propose to Tae-oh, but I couldn’t because he was sleeping.”

“Uhm...”

Se-hyeon chuckled at Taenyang’s strange acting, which started to move as if he had just woken up.

He's really cute.

“Boss, when you sober up, please stand up.”

As soon as Se-hyeon's voice subsided, Shin Tae-oh stopped pretending that he couldn't wake up and immediately got up. The double single bed, which was suitable for one person but not enough for two people, made a pitiful squeaking sound.

"Woke up."

Did it just happen? He even got down to his knees.

Se-hyeon leaned back against the head and looked closely at Shin Tae-oh's face. Although his eyes were still red and he could smell the alcohol, he seemed to have sobered up to some extent because his eyes were clearly focused.

For now, Se-hyeon pretended not to know what Shin Tae-oh wanted and pointed to his head.

“Doesn’t your head hurt?”

"Are you okay?"

“Are you not thirsty?”

“...A little dry.”

Shin Tae-oh, who was trying to tell me it was okay, put his hand on my neck and squinted his eyes. It seemed like he was too thirsty to pretend like nothing was wrong.

“Just a moment. I’ll bring water.”

Se-hyeon patted Shin Tae-oh's shoulder and stood up. He looked like he wanted to grab Se-hyeon, but he held back without stretching out his hand. Se-hyeon gave Shin Tae-oh a good look and left the room.

"Are you okay?"

His mother, who was snooping around his room, asked with worried eyes.

“Yes. I think I’ve sobered up to some extent. I don’t have a headache.”

“Watch carefully. This person should really do it in moderation.

“Because.”

As his mother glanced behind him and mumbled something, his father, who was sitting on the sofa, cleared his throat and turned his head.

“I did it without realizing it because the atmosphere was good. And now that I have a grandchild, what do I do? Can’t I have a glass of that? This is bad…”

I have tried to explain why I gave Shin Tae-oh alcohol, but will that work? His father, seeing his mother's eyes becoming more pointed, shut his mouth.

“I’m going to take the boss up there.”

“I already turned on the boiler there.”

His mother, who immediately realized that he was not going up to Seoul, told him that he could do so at any time. Is that all? I forced my father, who couldn't get his butt off the sofa, to stand up and went into the room.

“I have to watch a drama.”

"See you later."

“Well, I’ll pretend I didn’t hear anything, so just sit there…”

My father's protest disappeared with the sound of the door closing. Se-hyeon smiled at her parents’ consideration. But the closed door opened again and my father stuck his head out.

"Congratulations."

Although it was blunt, it was a greeting filled with affection. He wonders if he is getting married or if he has a child in his womb. Maybe it could be both.

"Thank you."

Se-hyeon was also able to give a sincere answer.

***

“Is this a marriage proposal?”

Se-hyeon, who returned to the room, pulled Shin Tae-oh's hand empty-handed. Although he waited for Se-hyeon, Shin Tae-oh suddenly stood up while waiting, thinking he would bring him water, and made a dazed look on his face.

Se-hyeon told him to follow him if he wanted to drink water. Shin Tae-oh, who had never been one to refuse what Se-hyeon asked him to do, soon walked out of the room on his own two feet.

However, even Shin Tae-oh had no choice but to hesitate when faced with the narrow and steep stairs that even children could easily climb, rather than the kitchen he had expected.

Standing in front of the stairs leading to the attic, Shin Tae-oh looked anxious as to whether the stairs would collapse if he climbed on them. Even the entrance to the attic at the end was small.

“Won’t my body get caught?”

“Fold your shoulders and go in.”

Se-hyeon tapped Shin Tae-oh on the back to tell him to stop hesitating and hurry up. At that signal, Shin Tae-oh put one foot on the stairs.

He squeals, he's already screaming. Originally, it was an old house. And even old furniture.

Everything was different from when I was at Tae-oh’s house.

However, Se-hyeon persevered and urged Shin Tae-oh to go up to the attic. Shin Tae-oh took his remaining foot off the floor and put it on the stairs, and soon he was climbing the stairs one step at a time. The stairs kept creaking, but now I chose to go up quickly rather than stop.

Shin Tae-oh, who climbed all the stairs and entered the attic with his head first, stopped as he saw something inside.

Even though he knew that, Se-hyeon did not urge him to go up like before. I just quietly waited for the next reaction.

Because Se-hyeon knows what Shin Tae-oh is looking at.

From the beginning, he wanted to show what was in the attic, so he called Shin Tae-oh up here. I wanted to say hello to my parents and at the same time make my own confession to Shin Tae-oh.

Soon, Shin Tae-oh moved again and entered the attic. I don't know if he folded his shoulders when going through the attic door. The important thing is that he got in without difficulty.

When Se-hyeon first entered this novel, the attic was the only space where he could rest comfortably.

Of course, Se-hyeon’s room was separate. However, while that was a place where his parents could come in at any time, the attic was a place that only Se-hyeon visited.

Here, Se-hyeon had a lot of worries. How will I live in the future and how can I reduce the burden on my parents?

Se-hyeon invited Shin Tae-oh to that space.

As Se-hyeon followed him up, he saw Shin Tae-oh's back sitting cross-legged on the floor. He was looking at the whiteboard that occupied one wall.

Se-hyeon goes and sits next to Shin Tae-oh and he hands me the cup of water I had prepared. Shin Tae-oh drank the water in one gulp without looking back.

However…

It's been a while since I had no intention of handing over the empty glass.

I was babbling. Se-hyeon took the empty glass from his hand.

“To be honest, I can’t think of such a great proposal.”

Likewise, Se-hyeon spoke while keeping her eyes fixed on the whiteboard that Shin Tae-oh was looking at.

“It’s difficult to create unforgettable memories in a wonderful place. Just to show you.”

This was it.

Se-hyeon's past was fully reflected on the board.

Shin Tae-oh's name was written in the largest letters below the small letters that read SR Construction. And articles and information about him branched out, focusing on that name.

Nothing about the original work was included. That was a secret that Se-hyeon had to keep for the rest of his life, so he didn't keep it anywhere.

Therefore, on the board, there were only stories about Shin Tae-oh that were out in the world.

“I wrote down most of it before I got a job, but sometimes I supplemented it every time I came here.”

Since Shin Tae-oh didn't say anything, Se-hyeon felt even more awkward and started saying various things. Still, there was no answer, so Se-hyeon eventually kept his mouth shut.

“Was it me from the beginning?”

Shin Tae-oh, who had been staring at the board for a while, heard a question in a low voice. Se-hyeon turned his head and made eye contact with Shin Tae-oh.

“I didn’t choose the company to become your secretary… ”

"Yes. From the beginning, I joined the company to serve CEO Shin Tae-oh. If I had been in the electronics or food industry instead of construction, I would have gone there without hesitation.”

To be by Shin Tae-oh's side.

I started with the irreverent purpose of choosing a way to live well, but at least I wasn't embarrassed to reveal the process to anyone.

Rather than thinking that all I had to do was be by Shin Tae-oh's side, I worked hard with the desire to help him in some way.

“Honestly, I didn’t start with a feeling of liking the boss, but I can see it as interest…”

Se-hyeon's words were sucked into the mouth of Shin Tae-oh, who suddenly rushed at him. Shin Tae-oh showed his overwhelming emotions. His breath came in through Se-hyeon's lips, tongue stirring heavily in his mouth.

Shin Tae-oh, who gave a deep kiss, muttered in a subdued voice.

“There was someone just for me.”

Shin Tae-oh, who realized that his own person was always breathing somewhere in the world where he had always thought he was alone, kissed Se-hyeon again.

Prev / Next

[marieskey]

Ok so I went there again Thursday night. I let him cum in me. Hopefully this birth control works. I've been on it a little over a month. Actually this might be my third pack. I don't remember. Anyway he came a lot for a long time. It was like a minute. At one point I said are you still coming? He was. I'm trusting he didn't get me pregnant. I have the test. I'll be sure to take the pill at the right time. Things should go well.

He really just feels like we'll have a baby and figure everything else out. I think he came close to telling me he loved me and then stopped himself. I said okay what happens when you don't like me anymore. He said when I don't like you anymore? And paused for a while. Asked why said why wouldn't I like you are you going to change. He says he would do what he had to take care of a baby. I still don't want to have his baby. I like the guy but he's kind of a loser. He's high all the time. I don't think I've ever talked to him sober. He does have a job but it's Best Buy.

He's one of the few people I've ever actually wanted. I think that's the problem. That's why I can't shake him. I've been praying for God to remove him from my life if he's not for me after the summer before a pregnancy 🤣🤣

I asked him why he wanted me pregnant so bad. He didn't really have an answer. He's definitely trying to trap me. He has a plan. I said we couldn't fuck as much and He let it slip that he'd fuck me while the baby slept. I tried to get him to share “the vision” but he wouldn't.

He spit in my mouth the was disgusting. I almost threw up. We didn't fuck all night we cuddled while watching tv. He gave me scalp massage. I started to go to sleep and he did 🤣🤣 I actually couldn't believe he feel ASLEEP. I grabbed the remote he didn't wake up. Turner the tv of, rolled over and went to sleep as best I could. I still can't sleep well when I'm not in my bed.

He woke up when I went to the bathroom. He grabbed me but we didn't have sex for another 2 hours or so. He woke up at 6 ready for fuck. Sex was fine🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️. I finally understood why he says he's hard when he's not. But completely flat he's small. Like he as big as my pinky it grows to about 6 inches.

He wanted a smoke break. I asked was if I was trying tempt him. I said no if do this if I was trying to tease you and began touching myself. He stood right up and began rubbing my thigh. I told him watching happened with your eyes only. He began to touch himself. I told him how I think about him and masturbate. He was so turnned on. He didn't let me finish before he put the cigar down and entered me. I whispered in his ear he was supposed to let me finish. He needed another break so I touched myself while he watched. I'm a tad self conscious about the color of my vagina. I actually didn't want to start fucking again until The color had evened out there and my thighs. He watched me rub myself so focused on the movement he touched himself slowly like that. I liked how turned on he was. He was so intent on watching me. There were times he put the cigar down and just watched. When I ran out of shit to say I got up and took him in my mouth. Spit dripped everywhere it was disgusting. Probably the best blowjob I ever gave. I looked up at him while I sucked his tip. I tried to suck the but out although I hate cum in my mouth. Then he bent to me over and started fucking. That was uncomfortable I might has some pelvic floor issues. Overall it was straight. I hope nothing was produced from it. Although I know he wants a baby.

[herotting]

YEAH BUT I FEEL LIKE THE ENDING REALLY TARNISHED PPL'S PERSPECTIVES ON THE GROUP BECAUSE LIKE!!!! despite the comic ending trying to make bill out to be the Worst. prior to the ending / 2012, there have been moments that shows they care about each other -- specifically that bill cares. although these moments were a little rare, they still exist, and they're still telling.

bill actually takes jerry's suggestion here in consideration (in his own Bill Fashioned way but still) he just got distracted by ... x-men pasta. because fandom is literally his obsession. but this shows that bill is willing to be semi-considerate.

bill also tried to calm down and reassure jerry when jerry became concerned about pete's recklessness. again, if bill rly hated his friends, or was as bad as the end tried to make him out to be -- he wouldn't have bothered with this, and only tormented jerry more. but he didn't, because surprise surprise -- bill does care.

i don't feel like finding the screenshot for it. but when bill was teasing pete about christopher lee, bill did stop when pete told him to.

in fact, it's weird that the ending depicted jerry being "traumatized" by bill but not josh or pete. bill was the nicest to jerry. he rarely fought with him, and the meanest he was to jer was sometimes he'd tell him to shut up. the ONLY time bill was ever actually physical to jer was when he was drugged up and sleep deprived. which i don't think he could be blamed much for. when you're hopped up on drugs, you're not really in control of your actions. in fact, it was josh (sober/not sleep deprived btw!) who had strangled jerry solely because he was embarrassed by jerry and the gang laughing at him. bill (prior ending) never did anything like that to jer.

bill has also shown genuine fear when the group might split up (in the ending of the first comic)

also the group does acknowledge bill's worth as a leader and why he's the leader. (he's the best problem solver, and while rage-filled, still not as reckless as pete and not as much of a pushover as josh nor jer is)

and i've pointed this out YEARS ago. but i even theorize that bill's whole treatment of josh and his "rage" is just an act, especially one to make himself appear "cooler" to jerry and pete. because in an issue where they're alone together, bill is much nicer to josh -- his demeanor totally changed.

not only does he want to watch a movie with josh, but he was also supportive. instead of worsening josh's anxiety about not getting his order, bill reassures him that it's fine.

so yeah... despite what evan may say now, i just feel like the club wasn't supposed to hate each other. that they were supposed to be genuine friends, but just got into fights due to unhealthy obsessions. and i feel like the ending really tarnished bill's character because it made him out worse than he was through retcons or just straight up ignoring his previous characterization.

I know the point of eltingville club is that it's calling out and making fun of toxic nerd culture and show how awful and toxic these guys are as a friend group but I kinda prefer the pilot because they are more genuine friends. Like friends who fight all the time and are toxic still yeah but I feel like they actually care for each other deep down and the whole group's dynamic is just fun. Also I do not like what they did with bill in the ending of the comic series. In fact I pretend that ending doesn't exist cause it makes me sad. Bill's my favorite. He's so silly while also being a pathetic nerd. Jerry's a close second though.

[lsvdw-blog]

Drained (3/?)

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x f!MC

Word Count: 2.3k

Warnings; Rating: Angst; General

Premise: Serena makes moves and Ethan finds out.

Author’s Note: I'm sorry ☠️ I hope you enjoy and thank you for reading 💖 **HSM reference included

Serena comes to a halt in the middle of a crosswalk. Rebecca continues to lay out the terms of the contract, but time stands still as Serena drones out, shocked.

An offer. 

This is exactly what she wanted. A dream come true for her younger self.

So why does she feel so conflicted? 

~~~~~~

Serena hangs up the phone just as she’s stepping into her apartment, all of her roommates, along with Bryce and Rafael, are gathered in the living room, watching a movie. 

She stands at the edge, absorbing the laughter and camaraderie filling the space. Silently taking in what she would be giving up. 

Although becoming Head of the Diagnostics Team has been far from what she expected, she’s comfortable here — it’s familiar. She knows the ins and outs of Edenbrook now, a far cry from the intern that got lost in the hallways. She has an incredible friend group that would drop everything if she needed them. She knows the language, the culture, the unspoken rules and etiquette. 

She’d go from a three hour flight home to being across the ocean. She’d miss birthdays, holidays, and impromptu get-togethers. She'd miss the mundane things: days out in Boston Common, going on shopping trips with the girls, getting lost in the farmer's markets. 

But this was something she had wanted her entire life. What she’d worked nearly a decade for. 

By everyone else’s standards, for anyone on the outside looking in, she’s flourished in her three and half years at Edenbrook. Yet she feels like a trained falcon: tethered and only able to fly when told how high and how far.

She owes it to herself to make her dream a reality, to spread her wings, and not only fly, but soar.

Her eyes grow misty the longer she stands there, contemplating all of the things that would change. It isn’t until she’s deep in her spiral that Elijah calls out her name. 

“Serena, are you okay?” 

The backlight from the television reflects the tears in her eyes. “I’m really gonna miss you guys.” 

Understandably, she’s met with a room full of confused expressions. While they know about her struggles as Head of the Diagnostics Team, they don’t know about the events of the last forty-eight hours. 

Serena walks towards them, plopping down in the middle of the floor, and begins to fill them in. 

By that night, Serena had signed a year-long contract, shipping out in six weeks. 

~~~~~~

The next few days are a blur: making phone calls to potential movers and storage unit companies and having conversations with her new team. 

It seems as though Ethan finally took the hint that she wanted space. His interactions are gentle, but few and far in between. 

Serena knows it’s not fair to keep him in the dark, but she’s still too hurt and overwhelmed to bring herself to do the right thing.

Ethan interprets her space as her just needing to work through it first, that she’d be ready to talk soon.

How wrong he was. 

~~~~~~

“Great work today, Carrick. There might be some hope left for you after all.” 

Tobias chuckles. 

“Gotta keep the lead on her toes!” He does a little boxing move, causing Serena to laugh. “This will be my team before you know it.” 

Serena sobers at that comment, remembering the big news she has yet to share with anyone other than her family and roommates. 

Tobias notices the sudden change in energy, a cloud of sadness settling over them. 

“Tobias… take a seat. There’s something we need to discuss.” 

His brows furrow and his head tilts to the side in confusion as they both take a seat at the round table. Serena huffs out a long breath, sitting with her back ramrod straight, hands clasped in front of her. Any and all traces of joviality are gone.

“This should be your team."

“Serena, I was just kidding. You know I respect you as Hea—”

“I know. This has nothing to do with that. I wasn't ready then and I'm not ready now."

“You’re doing a fanta—”

Serena's hand shoots up to interrupt him. 

“It's okay. I know you see the way I’m being treated and have heard some… not very nice things said about me.” 

“Well, yeah, but they’re all just boomers who have a stick wedged so far up their asses that they’ve forgotten what it’s like to be a decent human being.” 

Serena snorts. “While that may be true, you know it’s more than that.”

Tobias leans forward, placing a hand over Serena’s that she hasn't stopped wringing. 

He looks at her earnestly. “You are doing an amazing job. And when have you ever cared what other people think? I say fuck ‘em.” 

“If only it were that easy.” 

She brings a hand out from under his, placing it on top. 

“It has been made very clear, time and time again, that I am not wanted here.” 

“That’s not tru—”

“I’ve accepted another position.” 

Tobias blinks rapidly at Serena. 

“With Médecins Sans Frontières.”

His jaw goes slack.  

“In Myanmar.”

At this, Tobias’ eyes look like they’re about ready to pop out of his head. 

“No.” 

“What?”

“I reject this.”

“Tobias… This is something I need to do.”

“You’re an invaluable member of this hospital! Anyone who means anything knows that — I know that, the DT knows that, the Chief—”

At that, Serena scoffs and rolls her eyes. 

“No, he doesn’t.” 

“What are you ta—”

“I’ve already signed the contract. I’ll deploy in five weeks.”

“What?”

A booming voice echoes around the room. Serena jumps backwards, extricating her hands from Tobias’, and looks at the floor. 

This is so not the way I wanted to tell him. 

Serena gives Tobias a curt nod, letting him know that it’s okay for him to leave the room. 

“Page me if you need anything,” he whispers before exiting. 

“Serena, what the hell is going on?”

“Ethan, sit down.”

“No! I’m not going to ‘sit down.’ Tell me what’s going on right now.” 

Serena sighs and pinches the bridge of her nose. “I’ve accepted a position with Médecins Sans Frontières in Myanmar. I start in five weeks, so you can count this as my four week notice.” 

“Is this one of those pranks from social media that I don’t understand?”

“Do I look like I’m joking?” 

“Well, you must be. You were just made Head of the Diagnostics Team! This is your dream job.”

“It was. It’s not anymore.”

“Oh, but moving to Myanmar is?!” 

Serena gets out of her chair. “You’re missing the point.” 

“Then enlighten me!”

Ethan knows he needs to get a grip and control his emotions, but the utter fear coursing through him is paralyzing.

“I have been so busy supporting you in the last three years that I lost sight of myself.

“And I’m not saying it’s your fault, it’s not, I happily put you first. I wanted to put you first. With Naveen, Louise, Edenbrook possibly shutting down, everything. 

“But I had always dreamed of leaving our planet a better place than we’d found it. Of traveling the world while volunteering with different organizations… Did you even know that?" Serena whispers.

“You’re making a difference here.” 

Serena shakes her head furiously. “It’s not the same! Life kept getting in the way and I lost myself in the process, don't you see?!” 

“So what?! You felt sorry for me, is that it?! You saw me as some pet project — someone you could fix and mold into your perfect vision, so you stayed. My savior." 

The word drips with disdain, mockery, disgust.

Ethan expects Serena to yell obscenities at him, but when she speaks, eyes locked on his, she's deathly calm. 

Which causes Ethan to become even more frantic.

"I never wanted to save you. You were never broken, not to me. The things you see as flawed and jagged all fit together perfectly to create you. 

"'The whole is greater than the sum of its parts.' And you, as a whole, as your entire being, is the man I fell in love with.

"But my love for you has nothing to do with the struggles I've faced in my short tenure as lead. 

"I've done my absolute best to carry this team to new heights, to carry on the legacy and the mission. But it's become practically impossible to do when everyone in this hospital constantly undermines me, questions my competence, and makes bets on when I'll fail." 

"Not everyone. I don't—"

Ethan is interrupted by a barking laugh of disbelief. 

"It seems you've already forgotten, so let me remind you." 

~ 2 Months Ago ~

Serena exhaustedly walks through the door of Ethan’s apartment, the tail-wagging greeting of Jenner always a welcome, and much needed, dose of serotonin. 

Ethan follows closely behind the golden retriever, greeting Serena with a lopsided grin and kiss.

They have a nightly routine whenever she stays over, which is more often than not nowadays, and tonight is no different.  

Ethan notices that Serena is quieter than usual as they go through their ritual. He doesn’t bring it up, but keeps a close eye on her, ready to talk if and when she feels ready. 

Cuddled up on the couch after dinner, watching some brain-numbing show, is when Serena decides it's a good time. She pushes herself off of Ethan’s chest and sits criss-cross applesauce as she turns to face him. Her hands are in her lap, fidgeting in nervousness, internally trying to hype herself up. 

Ethan places one hand over hers in a reassuring gesture, patiently waiting for her to speak. 

“I’ve, uh—” Serena clears her throat. “I’ve been having some management challenges. Senior personnel in other departments have created a hostile work environment that isn’t letting me adequately step into the role as Head of the Diagnostics Team.

“There is no level of trust and this is shown day in and day out, in any decisions I make; I receive constant pushback, refusal to cooperate, and at times, am completely ignored.”

Serena’s heart is hammering in her chest and her palms are sweaty as she waits with bated breath for Ethan’s response.

“Tension is never one-sided. Be careful and cognizant of how you are treating others as well.”

Serena is taken aback. “That’s not me and you know it. There was practically no handover period, let alone adequate training. I was left to my own devices. Everyone assumed I would ‘figure it out,’ but it seems to have been forgotten by literally everyone that I don’t have anything to base this on in order to ‘figure it out!’”

Ethan sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Is that what this is about? I can’t just give you handouts because you’re my girlfriend.”

“When have I ever asked you for a ‘handout?’” Serena stands from her spot on the couch. “Why are you being so unsupportive? Don’t join the ranks of the people who think I slept my way to the top,” Serena says, a challenge in her tone.

Ethan is stunned into silence, bewilderment in his eyes.

The tension between them fills the penthouse, engulfing them in a silent standoff, neither backing down. 

Until Ethan says something that completely breaks Serena’s resolve. 

“Maybe you’re not mature enough to handle this yet. Perhaps I should have given the team to Tobias.” 

Ethan’s statement is coming from a place of hurt, her previous flippant remark cutting deep, as if his greatest fear concerning their relationship is becoming a reality. But it is also coming from a place of mentorship, invoking the “tough love” tactic he is so renowned for. The tone reminiscent of the very first day they met, following the thoracotomy in the waiting area. 

Tough love that pushes her to be better, to reach the staggering heights he knows she’s capable of, to fulfill her full potential. 

But all Serena wishes for is the floor to open up and swallow her whole. She wishes she hadn’t said anything at all, that there was a time machine that would take her back. Because how foolish of her to assume that Ethan could set aside his role as Chief to be the loving and supportive boyfriend she needed, not only in this moment, but also in the past four months. 

"You single-handedly tore a wound that I've been bleeding from ever since. I wasn’t confiding in you as Dr. Harlow; I was confiding in you as Serena. As a woman who, in that moment, needed the man she loved to love her.

Ethan is utterly horrified by the conversation from a couple months back and he grows ever more appalled with himself as Serena continues to put her feelings into words — yes, taking over as Chief was a bigger task than he had anticipated, but how could he not have noticed her cries for help? 

*"What about us?" 

Of all the thoughts and emotions swirling within him, this is the only one Ethan cares about right now. 

“What about everything we’ve been through?” Ethan presses. 

"You told me that you don't need me to take care of you. I realize now that I threw myself on the fire to keep you warm, but you'd say that you never asked me to. So I'll keep myself warm from now on."

“What am I supposed to do? I don’t want to lose you.”*

The words come out jumbled, rushed beyond measure, as if they'd be lost to time forever if Ethan didn't get them out right that instant.

His heart is beating like a hummingbird's wings, but it stops dead in the next second.  

"You've been too distracted to realize that you've already lost me a long time ago.

But you got what you wanted after all — this is Tobias' team now.”

[gillianthecat]

My Thoughts as I Watched Episodes 2 and 3 of Between Us.

in which your intrepid reporter files her article two weeks late

I actually watched them and wrote this two weeks ago, but didn't post it because I had vague plans to write more about them. But I want to catch up on the next two episodes, so any additional thoughts will wait for after that. The summary is: I continue to love the show, and it continues to make sense to me without seeing Until We Meet Again

Episode 2

- Ok, I think my initial prediction will be laughably wrong. It looks like so far Win is absolutely not trying to hide how he feels. Team though is. It's all very cute, I'm really into their dynamic. And they have CHEMISTRY, my goodness. I loved Team's reaction after Win left his room—his big sigh, his trying to hide his big smile even from himself.

- I just find Win so utterly charming. It makes the whole thing work; he might come across as a bit of a creep otherwise. I love his little smirk to Tul as he gets in the elevator.

- OH MY GOODNESS! Is there going to be a romance between Tul and Win's older brother?! - A gamer, internet stranger romance? I am so here for this. (Also Tul's actor has gotten even hotter as he's gotten older.)

- Ah, besides age gap we have a sprinkling of Forbidden Romance. Win is not supposed to be dating his juniors in the club. I dig it.

- Speaking of age gap (and perhaps this is because I've been watching Cutie Pie) hearing Team call Win Hia is very seductive. Especially that he's contouring to do it after Win asked for it in the heat of the moment. Whew. I cannot blame Win for being captivated by this boy.

- It does feel like this is going to be a very simple story—just two people fumbling their way toward falling in love—without a lot of plot happening around them. Interesting with all the reincarnation drama happening in the background. Since I like the characters and their actors, I like this simplicity.

- Also, now I can see why everyone was so frustrated that Even Sun was bad. These two are so good together.

- I love how much they talk during while making out. I love how conversation about consent and who they are to each other are made such a natural part of it, and also really hot. That "kiss me" !!! I also love how much they're into slamming each other into walls. These two can seriously convey desire and lust. It really feels like they want to fuck.

- I like how Team is worried about what he means to Win, and still figuring out what it means to desire someone, but he doesn't hold back sexually.

- I'm nervous that they will be discovered at some point; that no one will see us felt very foreshadow-y. And I really liked the questions that Team was asking - is either of us using each other, what happens if we break up - both because they're good questions and because it feels like something he would do. But it also felt a bit foreshadowing.

Episode 3

- Ooh, another side romance? That brings the total up to five romance pairs in this show (so far!). That is a lot to balance, I hope the script can manage it. And it's Fee from My Only 12%! (I had to look him up, he looked familiar but I couldn't figure out from where.)

- I saw the Wabi Sabi logo, and I realized there were several overlapping actors, but somehow it wasn't until now that I connected this was made by the same production company as My Only 12%. It makes sense, although the overall feeling of the show is different, a lot of the things I like productions wise are the same. They both feel like money was spent on making a professional product. And they both are good at making friend groups feel natural, which is not always the case. (And also why Sea looked familiar - he was Cake's university friend Auk in My Only 12%.

- Oooh that drunk/flashback scene. I will come back to that later.

- One thing I love is that I feel like I can trust Win not to try anything while Team is drunk because he was so careful to make sure that Team was sober enough to consent the first time. There are many drunken hook ups in BLs that I've loved (Love Mechanics, Big Dragon, in its own toxic way), but that thread of toxicity doesn't fit their dynamic, and it's such a relief to trust that the show won't go there.

- Team's actor plays drunkenness well. I love the way Win responds to it, switching between feeling he needs to be the stern mentor figure, annoyance, fond indulgence, and feeling desire, despite his best intentions.

- I feel vindicated in my initial snap judgements of their characters. (Well, and also this show did a good job introducing them.) Team literally calls Win "the cool one" and Team is becoming more and more chaotic now that the he's no longer on his beginning-of-the-school-year best behavior. (Also several people have affirmed to me that he is indeed a chaos monkey.)

- This flashback! I guess these two won't be all sex and awkward flirting after all, they will have their own angst and pain. It was hinted at in their breakfast date when Team was so shaken by the ordinary question of, "do you have siblings," but honestly I got distracted and forgot. I suspect this was something that was not known in UWMA, it's the kind of secret that wouldn't be shared about the side couple.

- Darling Win's response. I think I will write a separate list about what I like about this pair, because there are a lot of things.

- I love how Manow and Team are teasing Pharm about Dean. Seeing these hints does make me want to watch that series more now.

- Tul and Waan! I already love them. I assume they're brand new for Between Us; there's no reason that they would have been in Dean and Pharm's awareness. Tul has such a crush! The way he's smiling at his phone!

- I guess with the way UWMA opened I shouldn't be surprised by this traumatic memory of his brother drowning. But it's still hard to watch.

- Ok, but how are the dorms at the university so enormous! And singles! This can't be what any actual university dorms are like in Thailand, right? I lived in doubles half that size freshman year.

- I have a lot of thoughts comparing this, Love in the Air and Big Dragon all to each other. I'll save most of it for another post, but I'm intrigued by the different depictions of a dominant older character winning over a bratty younger character. I don't know if Win and Team are intended to be explicitly dom and sub, but the age gap, the power difference, Win's caretaking tendencies and Team's... whole thing (traumatized, anxious, pouty) have created that dynamic between them anyways. And I really like it here!

[raffertyreyes]

With little need to regularly check the calendar Helen had stuck to their fridge with a magnet, Raff had allowed himself a few seconds when he arrived at work to hope that the paper hearts strung around the bar were advertising cardiovascular health awareness before that short-lived optimism came to a screeching halt when it was confirmed by a sour-looking Kian that today was Valentines Day after all.

“Fuckin’ great,” he muttered under his breath, wishing he’d had the foresight to book the day off. Not because he had any interest in spending the internationally celebrated day of love with his wife, but because his work was due to inevitably become a veritable hive of nauseating attempts at romance.

He was proven correct a few hours later when the bar was full of both tired and would-be couples, some navigating the initial foray into conversation with the person in front of them and others staring boredly at each other from opposite sides of the booths they’d crammed themselves into. Valentines Day, from Raff’s perspective, appeared more like a strenuous obligation than anything people actually wanted to indulge in. At least in this bar anyway.

“You prefer rosé, you’ve always preferred rosé,” came the desperate plea of a man on the other side of the counter. Raff narrowed his eyes at the way the guy tugged at his collar while fixing the woman next to him with a look that was inviting a slap. The way it managed to be pleading and patronising at the same time was almost impressive. Approaching the couple so he could attempt to take their order, he hovered for a moment as he watched the woman’s face twist into an ugly sneer.

“I literally only ever have white wine, Jeff. Maybe the rosé drinker is one of your office floozies,” she bit back at him.

A long-suffering sigh made its way out of Raff’s chest. It wouldn’t be the first time that the bar played host to a catastrophic break-up and he doubted it would be the last, but tonight, he didn’t particularly feel like dealing with it.

Heavy eyelids barely concealed his eye roll as he massaged a crick in his neck and turned away from the bickering pair. If their argument became too much, he supposed he’d eventually have to step in and remind them they were having it out with each other in a public establishment - not that he thought they cared, but his boss would have something to say about him allowing them to disrupt everyone else’s evening - but right now he didn’t have the energy to poke his nose into their growing domestic.

Refocusing his attention on the door of the bar as it swung open, he immediately wished that he had remained where he was, playing Jerry Springer to the steadily more irate couple to his right. If he had, then he might have graciously managed to save himself from laying eyes on the punch-in-the-gut sight of Harlow Charlton and Maverick Rojas walking in. Hand in hand, at that.

Somehow, it was funny.

Despite the way Raff immediately felt overwhelmingly sick upon seeing the two men with their fingers linked together as they entered the bar, he had to admit that this was a good one. A real unexpected funny twist that would be uproariously hilarious to the live studio audience that would be present if his life was a sitcom. Because of course Raff wouldn’t come face to face with just one of the men who’d been playing on his thoughts for the past couple of weeks. Naturally, they both had to show up here together. Together-together by the looks of things.

He hadn’t spoken to either man in a while, too embarrassed to speak to Harlow after spilling his guts to him while completely sober that one night at the bar. And as for Maverick… he assumed the other man would want nothing to do with him ever again, which was why it was a shock to even see him in the bar. Although, if he wanted to send a message to Raff, then showing up with another man on his arm was definitely enough to do that. Before he could insist that he’d received Mav’s message loud and clear and that he didn’t have to partake in whatever this was to move this whole awkward situation steadily along towards closure, the two men broke away from each other and Maverick was the one tasked with ordering their drinks from Raff.

Stupidly, he began looking around for Kian in the hopes that he could drag the other man forward to deal with the schoolteacher instead. Yet Kian, it seemed, already had his hands full with the white-wine-or-rosé couple from before, meaning Raff was standing stock still at the bar, frozen in place by the time Mav wandered up to him.

“Hi,” he greeted him, casting his eyes downward immediately. “What can I get for you?”

No hint of familiarity. No smile, although that one wasn’t particularly uncommon for Raff. Nothing that would suggest he even knew the other man, never mind had allowed the events of New Year’s Eve to transpire under his own roof.

When Maverick had texted Harlow to invite him out this evening, he hadn’t actually expected the man to say yes. Despite the other man’s overwhelming kindness and deeply charming personality, Maverick still had an unhealthy tendency to assume the worst in himself. It was the sort of self-deprecating behaviour that he’d spent most of his life trying to untrain in others, but he never seemed particularly good at listening to his own advice. He’d never had a whole lot of friends and, while he had a knack for talking the ear off of just about anybody he encountered, he wasn’t always great at maintaining normal, healthy friendships with other adults. In truth, one of Mav’s favourite things about teaching children was knowing that, without fail, he could always rely on his kids to be honest with him and knock him down a few pegs. 

Despite his fretting, however, Harlow had agreed to spend the evening with him, and Maverick was thrilled to pieces at the thought. There was something about Harlow Charlton that just seemed right. He was like a breath of fresh air, bringing with him a healthy dose of nostalgia and homesickness, with Maverick marveling in the familiar cadence of his accent. Of course, it probably hadn’t gone unnoticed to the whole, wide, spectacular world that Maverick Rojas was sporting quite the crush on the cowboy-turned-bookseller that he’d recently become acquainted with, but he was sure hoping that it wouldn’t get in the way of them sparking up a dandy friendship. He didn’t want to make the man uncomfortable – certainly not after everything that had unfolded with Rafferty. 

Maverick’s mood suddenly soured at the thought of his friend. He was making his way to the very bar that Rafferty worked at, ready to meet Harlow outside in the next ten minutes or so, and he found himself with a sudden case of the jitters. In truth, Maverick hadn’t heard from his friend since New Year’s Day. While Rafferty and Helen had been so kind as to let Maverick stay over, he’d been so embarrassed by both their hospitality and his own behaviour that he’d slipped out early the next morning, keeping his head low and barely sparing their home a backwards glance. He wasn’t much one for texting unless something took his fancy, so he hadn’t had the courage to reach out to his friend and, truth be told, he’d been avoiding the bar at all costs. He could swear black and blue that he was just much too busy with work now that the new term had started back up again, but he was saving himself a whole heap of embarrassment and rosy cheeks by simply tucking himself away in the safety of his dark apartment, with the occasional glass of scotch to drown his sorrows. 

A part of him hoped that maybe, with a bit of luck, Rafferty might have the day off – but, as soon as the thought had entered his mind, Maverick banished it, guilt eating away at him over the mere thought. It felt unkind to wish that he might not see his friend; Strange as things might have panned out for the pair of them, Maverick still considered Rafferty to be his buddy, and he sure hoped the man returned the sentiment. It simply wouldn’t do for Mav to be letting a silly, schoolyard crush get in the way of whatever friendship remained and he was, quite frankly, a master at repressing any romantic or sexual desires he might be harboring. It shouldn’t be too difficult for him to set his feelings aside. 

Upon arriving outside the bar, he gave the area a quick scan, before finally spotting Handsome Harlow just a few short yards away from their meeting point. Maverick smiled to himself as he took a moment to just watch the other man, quietly endeared by the way he was adjusting his collar in the window of the store next door. He thought for a moment that in an alternate reality somewhere, he might quite like to take Harlow out on a date – but for now, he’d have to settle for simply going for drinks with his good pal. 

“Why, fancy seein’ you here,” Maverick called out, a wide smile lighting up his face.  

He felt a twinge in his heart as the reality of having not one, but two crushes on two lovely yet unattainable men caught up with him. He pushed that thought to the back of his mind, though, and simply clapped a hand on Harlow’s shoulder as he finally reached the other man. He sure did look mighty handsome today – Maverick was starting to wish he’d made more of an effort past his favourite jeans – Simon once told him they made his booty look spectacular! – and his collared shirt with ducks on it that Ellie had gotten him for Christmas. 

“You all set for a night of cheap drinks, delightful company, and tryin’ to pull me away from the karaoke machine?” Maverick joked. 

[samstree]

A Study in Blushing

In which Jaskier makes a surprising discovery and decides to test it out.

(tooth rotting fluff, blushing geralt, soft jaskier, love confessions, kissing, winter at kaer morhen, rated teen, 3000 words)

Also, I know witchers can't blush in canon but seriously we should all know better.

read on AO3

“Gods damn it, bard! I know Geralt tolerates all your shit because he’s in love with you, but you gotta put things back where they belong!”

Lambert grumbles something more all the while putting the training swords back on the shelf, and Jaskier’s mind stops.

The world zeroes in on the words he’s in love with you and suddenly Jaskier can’t form words.

“W...What did you—”

“I said—” Lambert throws down the last one with a clunk. “—the swords go back on the shelf!”

“Geralt...is in love with me?” Jaskier breathes, unbelieving.

Lambert pauses, “Don’t you know?”

“No...?”

“Fuck. Pretty boy can’t get his head out of his ass and now I have to suffer.”

With that, Lambert tries to shoulder past Jaskier but the bard is having none of it. “No!” he puts a hand on Lambert’s chest. “Don’t even think about it. How? Since when? And how do you know?”

Lambert mumbles something unintelligible, before sighing long-sufferingly. “It’s too obvious, Buttercup.”

“How is it obvious? Does Geralt walk around with the words ‘I’m smitten with my bard and all the grumpy face is faked’ written on his forehead? How, pray tell, is it obvious?”

“Yeah, pretty much.” Lambert, the bastard, raises an eyebrow in amusement. “Did you truly not know?”

“No!”

Jaskier is so close to grabbing Lambert by the collar just to shake some answers out of him, and finally, the youngest wolf takes pity on him.

“He looks at you differently when he thinks you are doing something cute. He trips over his words after you call him sweet names. The worst of it all—he blushes any time you are close. Blushes, like a fucking maiden. Urgh, I’m gonna throw up.”

“Oh,” Jaskier deflates, “Witchers blush?”

“See for yourself.” Lambert rolls his eyes, walking past Jaskier with a few long strides. “And put the swords back!”

 ~~

Jaskier decides to test it out, because there’s no way Geralt is in love with him.

Loving him as a friend, sure, why not? Despite what ignorant folks claim about witchers, Jaskier knows by experience that Geralt has a heart bigger and more capable of love than most. But Geralt being in love with Jaskier? Like, he-wants-to-kiss-him in love with him? No way.

Blushing because of him? Ha! More like in Jaskier’s wildest dreams.

Although that would be really cute.

“Pass me the salt, honey?” Jaskier reaches out a hand to the other end of the table, and Geralt passes the salt without thinking.

Hmm.

No tripping over words.

“Thank you, dear heart.”

He’s putting as much sweetness in his voice as possible and Geralt is…normal. His eyebrows are raised to the roof, and there’s a faint smile by the corners of his eyes. But that’s just how Geralt is…right? He’s home and he’s relaxed, he smiles with his eyes rather than his lips, and it’s got nothing to do with Jaskier.

Jaskier chews, staring at Geralt subtly.

Not subtle enough.

“Something on my face?”

“No—” Jaskier chokes, hacking like a fool and tipping sideways. “Just—too much salt.”

Geralt scoffs, the faint smile turning into a brief grin, and hands over a cup of water.

Jaskier wants the ground to swallow him whole.

 ~~

The snow is terrible.

The whole keep is freezing like an ice cube, and Jaskier has to blow on his hands from time to time just to function in the library. He’s the lucky one, in the grand scheme of things. The witchers still need to go outside to fix up the walls and tend to the animals.

Geralt hasn’t been back in a while.

Jaskier puts down the quill he’s been chewing anxiously and rushes out the door—

And bumps right into Geralt’s chest.

“Sweet Melitele, that’s a lot of snow!” Jaskier spits out the snow knocked into his mouth, before looking at Geralt properly. “Oh, you’re hurt.”

The cut on Geralt’s eyebrow is a small one, but Jaskier worries nonetheless. Geralt doesn’t look impressed, only walks straight towards the small medkit sitting on a shelf.

“Repairment has to wait. The wind is bad.” Geralt grunts, trying to touch the wound and missing by a mile.

“Here, let me.”

Jaskier takes the salve from Geralt’s slightly shaking hands and pulls out a handkerchief from his pocket. Geralt is frowning so hard he can crack a walnut with those eyebrows.

“Relax,” Jaskier murmurs, blowing gently at the cut while dabbing at the blood. Upon deeming it clean enough, he applies a scoop of the salve that smells of celandine and mint. “Don’t move. It’ll only hurt a bit.”

Geralt keeps shying away from Jaskier’s ministration so he has no choice but to wrap his other hand around Geralt’s jaw, which manages to still him instantly.

“There,” Jaskier smiles. “Shouldn’t need anything more. Your witcher healing will kick in soon.”

Geralt tilts his head with that soft look in his eyes. “My thanks. Wouldn’t have survived without you.”

“No shit! Who goes out in a storm like this one? If you ask me, Vesemir is too tough on you. Look at you…” Jaskier coos, taking Geralt’s hands. “You are like a popsicle, dear heart.”

He tries to rub some heat back into Geralt’s freezing hands, his skin dry and rough. There’s still some hand cream left in Jaskier’s room. Maybe he can fetch it later. Geralt needs to take care of his hands better when his living depends on them.

Geralt groans, looking away. The frames of his ears are beet red too; he must have been outside without a hat for all this time. Jaskier wants to cover them with his warm palms, only to have his hands batted away.

“No, there’s—I’m fine,” Geralt mumbles. If Jaskier didn’t know better, he’d think the way Geralt avoids his eyes is a result of shyness. The bard can snort at the ridiculous idea and stubbornly presses his hands over Geralt’s ears.

Oh.

His ears are red because they are so warm, not cold

Now that they are standing so close, only a hand’s breadth away, Geralt looks stunned, his eyes dilating, only leaving a ring of gold around those dark pupils. There’s even a layer of pink dusting over his pale cheeks.

A blushing witcher.

Oh, this is interesting.

“Geralt, sweetie?” Jaskier husks, lowering his voice especially on the pet name. “Are you warm enough?”

“Um, sure…not cold.”

And he watches as Geralt’s mind ceases to work in front of his eyes, the blush deepening. It’s still a subtle thing. No wonder Jaskier has missed it all this time. Calloused hands wrap around Jaskier’s wrists, and the bard finally relents, letting go.

If he spends the rest of the day sitting at the desk with a quill in hand, thinking about the way Geralt’s skin feels against his and the warmth of his cheeks, nobody needs to know.

 ~~

Jaskier doesn’t know what to do with this piece of new information.

Geralt does blush.

Because of him.

He tries to repeat the experiment. Just to be sure, he tells himself. And every time it yields the same results. As soon as he gets into Geralt’s space, the witcher either stumbles through his words or gets all flustered all over. The fondness is there too, just in a very Geralt and very unnoticeable manner, soft and almost smiling.

Jaskier is so drunk on power.

The only thing left is to tell Geralt that he loves him too. That he’s also in love in love with him, as in an I-also-want-to-kiss-you kind of way, and then… they can finally kiss!

Oh, just inwardly rehearsing the scene makes Jaskier dizzy, and somehow he ends up smiling to himself when he’s so deep in thoughts planning the conversation, once even in front of company.

Lambert throws him a side-eye and a disgusted grunt, but Jaskier can’t care less.

He finds the perfect night, and even takes a sip of White Gull from Eskel’s cup just to calm his nerves.

And he realizes too late that, perhaps, the strongest witcher brew might be a mistake.

The effect is stronger than he anticipated, and Jaskier is giggling through the fog in his mind within mimutes, somehow ending up on Geralt’s lap, draped over his shoulder in a heap of soft, pliant mess.

He rests his temple against Geralt’s and nearly tips backward if not for the strong arm that catches him by the waist.

“Oops, thank the gods I have my big witcher here!” Jaskier runs the tips of his fingers across Geralt’s stubbles. It tickles, and the blush is back, unmistakably, since Geralt is as sober as the day. “I’d fall over on my butt without you! And falling over doesn’t look good before saying important things, does it?”

Huh, he’s said it out loud.

“Saying what things?”

Well, if it’s out there…

“Where do I start again? Right of course, with how beautiful you look when you’re like this!”

His fingers move to tuck the curtain of white hair behind Geralt’s ears. No matter how much Jaskier loves it when Geralt wears his hair down, he needs to look into those amber eyes without obstruction. The molten gold gleams with surprise and Jaskier wants to drown in it.

“I’m not…” Geralt splutters, before closing his mouth with a pop. The flush is stretching down his neck now, and Jaskier chases it with a hand.

“You are!” he insists petulantly. “You are blushing and it’s beautiful. Adorable too! I wouldn’t know if Lambert hadn’t told me—” he burps. “—um, everything.”

“Told you what?”

The alarm in Geralt’s voice should wake Jaskier up immediately, but alas, the White Gull is no joke.

“Shh!” he stage-whispers, “It’s a secret! Don’t tell Geralt! I need to do it right!”

Jaskier lets out a happy sound and leans into the comforting embrace that he loves so much. Under his fingers, he can feel heat still gather under Geralt’s skin, making him look equally annoyed and fond.

“You are not making sense, Jask.”

“Nothing about you makes sense either, but I’m here. And ready.” Jaskier smiles and presses a chaste kiss on Geralt’s cheekbone, humming another happy sound.

Kissing Geralt is nice, gives Jaskier all the fuzzy feelings.

But somehow, that was also the wrong thing to do, because Geralt has gone stiff under Jaskier’s body. The next thing he knows, the witcher is struggling to untangle their limbs and leaving him empty and cold.

“Don’t…do this,” he murmurs, upset. “Just…don’t.”

The anguish the seeps through Geralt’s voice somehow manages to get through the muddy cloud in Jaskier’s mind.

“Wait, what?” Jaskier rights himself on unsteady feet, but his witcher is long gone. Eskel and Lambert are still nursing their tankards by the fire, and Jaskier wobbles past them without a care. He needs to find Geralt, who apparently charged right out of the great hall and into the cold night.

The heavy wooden doors open and Jaskier is hit with the unrelenting wind. The snow has stopped and partially melted, and frozen all over again. It’s the worst kind. Jaskier takes his steps with caution but still, it’s too slippery.

Okay. Mind. Clear. He needs it to be.

“Geralt?” he calls out, churning with anxiety. “Geralt, where are you?”

Damn his witcher speed. Now Jaskier is walking in the dark and freezing his balls off without an ounce of idea where Geralt might be. Oh, the stalls. Roach must be the first thought Geralt has when he needs to talk. Jaskier shudders, hugging his doublet tighter to fend off the wind and searches for the stalls blindly.

“Geralt, are you—ow!”

He walks right into a pillar and falls on his butt. Before Jaskier can register the pain, a pair of hands are picking him up by the armpits and he stumbles into Geralt’s embrace.

There’s a familiar sizzle of Igni, and the torch by the stalls is roaring with life.

“What are you doing out here?” A coat is tossed over Jaskier’s shoulders and he’s ushered back towards the building.

“Looking for you, you idiot!” Jaskier squawks, albeit grateful for the thick fur coat. A few more minutes he would lose all feelings in his toes. “Running into the night like this, who knows what can happen to you!”

“So you followed me out drunk and with no coat and I’m the idiot? Gods, I don’t know why I even…”

The doors creak open and there’s light and warmth and the smell of mead, but Jaskier’s heart sinks.

“I don’t know why you even bother too,” Jaskier muses, suddenly feeling like a scolded child.

Geralt steers Jaskier past the other wolf witchers and straight into his room, where the heat feels like a furnace on Jaskier’s frozen fingers—Geralt has been secretly tending to Jaskier’s fire for weeks after the human came down with a cold upon arrival at the keep. He’s too good to Jaskier.

“You are too good to me.”

“And you are a pain in the ass.”

Geralt sits Jaskier down in front of the fire rather grumpily, before joining him and pulling the coat even tighter. He’s still mad, just a smidge, but the droop of his eyes speaks more of sadness.

“Hey, talk to me,” Jaskier coaxes, squeezing Geralt’s knee in reassurance. Whatever argument coming their way, he can’t stand Geralt being sad.

“How drunk are you?”

“Not very.” If Geralt walking out hadn’t put Jaskier out of his daze, the wind sure finished the job. “White gull passes quickly. Hmm, who would have thought…”

“I need to tell you something.”

“But I need to tell you something too! It’s important.”

“Let me go first?”

The plead comes out in a whisper, and who is Jaskier to reject Geralt like this, wide-eyed and earnest?

“I never meant for you to know, and certainly not on a night like this, but Jaskier…” Geralt heaves out a breath, determined and so so brave. Jaskier is drawn closer to Geralt’s body like a magnet, ready to soothe, to meet him halfway. “I am in love with you.”

“Geralt.”

“I know you don’t feel the same, and it’s okay. You make a living singing about loving. Hell, you make a living simply by loving. Music, adventures, people, so many people. It’s okay that your heart is too big for me. But, Jask, I can’t take it anymore.”

“I don’t…not…”

“You flirt with people. You…touch them and kiss them and praise them. It’s okay. It’s the way you are. I understand that when you do the same with me it doesn’t mean anything more, but, Jaskier, I need you to stop.”

“Oh,” Jaskier breathes. “Do you hate it? I thought…differently.”

The smile that tugs at Geralt’s lips can only be described as crestfallen.

“The opposite. I love it too much. I’ll always want more. Always. I’m greedy like this.”

The guilt weighing down on Geralt’s shoulders is not a good sight, a personal offense to Jaskier. His hand reaches out on its own volition, tilting Geralt’s chin up so their gazes meet. The blush is back.

What did Jaskier do in his past life to deserve this man?

“That’s what I was going to say.”

“That you are greedy?”

The frown remains on Geralt’s face, and Jaskier smooths it with the pad of his thumb.

“No. That I am in love with you. Gods, for someone who’s not a bard, you sure know how to steal someone’s line from the beginning,” Jaskier chuckles. “I’ve been trying to tell you that I return your feelings. But alas, you know the coward that I am.”

“You are…not,” he protests, blinking.

The way Geralt defends him on instinct only makes Jaskier’s insides melt into a pool of fuzziness.

“In this, yes. How I fucked up so bad is a mystery. That’s just me I guess, trying to love you but ending up hurting you, making you feel like I’m stringing you along like anyone else.”

“I’m not?”

“No, you oaf.” Jaskier bops his nose. “You are the most important person in the world for me. This is the most important thing in the world to me! I love you and I love it when you blush. Also, I’d very much like to kiss you, if you want it too.”

Jaskier bites into his lips and watches as Geralt’s gaze drops to them, the pink of his cheeks spreading into the most gorgeous crimson. “I want to. Kiss you, that is.”

“Good.”

Jaskier wets his lips with a peak of the tongue and watches the same gesture returned. Even if the alcohol has left his system, the intoxication remains, only this time because of Geralt’s slightly dilated pupils and quickened breathing. He leans in, not being able to resist—

“Did you say ‘return my feelings’?” Geralt dodges away, looking incredulous. “Jaskier, did you know? And what was that about blushing?”

“Um…” Now Jaskier is the one to splutter. Luckily, he has a trick up his sleeves or two that can make sure Geralt forgets about every last thought there is.

Jaskier lunges forward and tackles his witcher onto the soft rug and kisses him within an inch of his life, deepening it like there’s no tomorrow. Judging by the dazed look on Geralt’s face as he comes up for air, the method is working.

Cupping Geralt’s rosy cheeks, Jaskier croaks proudly, “Tell you later?”

“We have all the later we need.” Geralt’s smile is blinding, and equally mischievous. Without a moment of pause, Jaskier ends up the one flipped onto his back and being kissed until he shudders with pleasure.

Jaskier has to thank Lambert properly one day, considering Geralt will certainly go after him with a vengeance.

For now, having Geralt on top of him and slowly melting into a contented mess should be enough. If he’s allowed, Jaskier vows silently, he would really like to make Geralt blush for him for the rest of his life.

~~

Jaskier will totally make it his life's mission to tease Geralt endlessly and see his beautiful blush. 🥰🥰

On another note, I challenged myself to write 2000 words exactly, and this ended up, um, 3000 words exactly. I’ll count it as a win anyway ;)

Tagging: @wanderlust-t @rockysstupidity @flowercrown-bard @alllthequeenshorses @mothmanismyuncle @percy-jackson-is-sexy- @constantlytiredpigeon @behonesthowsmysinging @kitcatkim3 @endless-whump @rey-a-nonbinary-bisexual @llamasdumpsterfire @dapandapod

Please feel free to tell me if you want to be removed or added to the list <3

[ninjakk]

Hi! I really like your Metas about MDZS. I want to hear your opinion about this one in particular. When LXC was revealing all that happened at Nightless City, after the "Get lost!" scene, it mentioned that WWX's eyes reddened. I'm quite at a loss on how to interpret this. Was he mad or overwhelmed with emotion that he was about cry? Actually curious of your thoughts on WWX's feelings fluctuating since JGY started mentioning LWJ's pining.

Hi Anon,

Thank you for the ask! I'm glad to hear you're enjoying my meta 🥰

I'll answer your questions in chronological order as it appears in chapter 99, or it might get a little confusing for everyone ☺️

During the scene you are referring to, WWX was as you said, overwhelmed with quite complex emotions. As we know, WWXs emotions were already extremely raw before he even went near Guanyin Temple that night. WWX had just had a huge misunderstanding with LWJ not that long ago. He was absolutely heartbroken, assuming LWJ did not return his feelings and thought he had taken advantage of him while apparently still drunk.

After WWX was caught at the temple alone without LWJ, LXC and JGY were perplexed as to why LWJ is not with him. Ironically, it was JGYs words that sparked a tiny bit of hope within WWXs heart. Obviously I don't think this was JGYs intention, it was more of a way to manipulate WWX by distracting him enough to lower his guard and simultaneously cause him distress. As we know, JGY is a master at using words as a weapon. But I can't help think JGY was also just being a bit nosey and wanted WWX to spill the tea as well 🤣

Jin GuangYao, “Of course not. I just had to comment. HanGuang- Jun spent so many years in yearning, and even today he hasn’t gotten his happy ending yet. Not only does Sect Leader Lan have a good reason to feel impatient, even an outsider can’t bear watching it.” Wei WuXian whirled around, “What yearning? What happy ending?” Hearing this, both Jin GuangYao and Lan XiChen seemed surprised. They examined his expression carefully, as though trying to see if he was purposely pretending to be oblivious. Wei WuXian’s heart suddenly began to pound, like something that had been dead for more than half the night suddenly bursted alive in his chest again. He forced himself to be calm, “What do you mean?

Although WWX was being held hostage, hearing JGYs words instantly made his heart pound - probably from a mixture of excitement, anxiety and worry. WWX was anxious and excited to find out if LWJ felt the same way about him. He wants nothing more than to hear this finally confirmed! But he is probably also feeling a little worried at how LWJ must be feeling right now, if his feelings are indeed returned. After all, WWX brushed off their romp as nothing more than 'guys helping each other out' because he thought LWJ had just sobered up (he sobered up long before) and regretted the situation. He's so desperate to know the truth, his mind is probably frantic at that moment, full of strong emotions.

Hearing that LWJ might actually return his feelings, he pressed LXC to the point he got uncharacteristically angry. WWX was in quite a lot of emotional distress while LXC had his infamous rant. Which I have to say although rather harsh, was only because LXC cares for his younger brother very deeply.

When we arrived, you sat blankly on a rock within the cave. Holding your hand, WangJi was giving you spiritual energy. He kept on whispering to you. But throughout the whole time, you repeated the same two words at him. “Get lost!” Wei WuXian’s throat was dry. His eyes were red as well. He couldn’t say a single thing.

WWX eyes reddened because he was so upset, in so much emotional pain, he was indeed holding back tears. He's just realised how deeply LWJ loves him. He's just found out LWJ saved him and went against his own sect to try and protect him. He's just been told that after all of that, he said nothing more to LWJ than 'get lost'. Obviously WWX was catatonic and wasn't even really aware what was going on, or what he was saying at the time. I've covered this in a previous post, in case anyone wants to read more into the scene - so I won't go into it too much.

WWX has also just found out that he is the indirect cause of the discipline whip scars on LWJ's back. And finally, the thought of all the pain he has inadvertently caused LWJ (both physically and mentally) over the span of both his lives, is too much for him to bear. Not to mention the pain he must be feeling from trying to recall events that have caused him deeply rooted trauma. So it's no wonder poor WWX is close to crying - something which he very rarely does usually.

It's an incredibly emotional chapter and there are lots of feelings flooding to the surface. But at least we know LWJ and WWX do indeed get their happy ending together at last 💞

[miekasa]

more boyfriend headcanons: love languages

↯ pairing: eren jaeger x (fem) reader

↯ genres and warnings: modern au, college au to some extent, fluff

↯ notes: i cannot stop thinking about him, so have 50 more head canons about this absolute menace. despite the title, he can and will turn anything into a love language, so beware.

annoying the hell out of you (quality time)

You’ve heard of girls sitting on their boyfriend’s laps and hugging them/falling asleep while they play games, now get ready for: boyfriends hugging you from the back while you attempt to do any mundane activity bc they miss you.

Because that’s Eren. About almost anything, because his physical affection, when not in the presence of other people, is absolutely on ten thousand and one.

The only public place he doesn’t mind cuddling up to you is the library. He doesn’t mind putting his arm around you or leaning his head on your shoulder, or even doing the sitting hugging thing in the library. Mostly because few people are there anyway.

Mind you, you’re the one who even showed him where the library was, and now he doesn’t know how to act. “Eren it’s not a ‘cuddling spot.’ It’s the library where I—and lots of other people, including yourself—go to do homework.” “If not cuddling spot, then why library chairs and study rooms cuddly?”

Particularly when it’s getting late and you’ve been crammed in the library for hours, and Eren just wants you to pack it up so he can drive you home. He’ll squeeze himself between your body and the back of your chair, wrap his arms around your stomach, and lay his cheek on your back.

Most times he falls asleep waiting for you to be finished. Sometimes he gets impatient and tickles you until you agree to leave. Either works for him.

He doesn’t not like holding hands in public, but it’s not his go to either. If you’re walking together, sometimes he’ll wrap his arm around your shoulder—usually after some cocky comment—or even walk behind you with his hands on your shoulders like it’s a two person conga line.

He doesn’t kiss you in public a lot, and never around his friends. They can see the literal hearts in his eyes when he’s around you though, so it’s not like he has to. On occasion, he will kiss your cheek. It’s kind of random, but you don’t question it.

In all honestly, whenever he gets affectionate or cuddly in public is all pretty random, even to him. Sometimes he’ll just be standing around you and he’s hit with the urge to engulf you in a hug and kiss your cheeks and he has to stop himself like, “....Why did I just think about doing that?”

Partially because he wasn’t outwardly hugged or shown affection a lot as a child, so sometimes he gets to urges children do to just want a hug. But he’s also pretty bad and/or new at processing his emotions like that so he mostly stands there like 🧍 looking at you with lovey dovey eyes instead.

Touchy when he’s drunk. But that’s not exclusive to you; anyone in a five foot radius of him will be subject to his arm slung around their shoulders, or him being slumped over their back, or random head ruffles.

Most commonly Armin, but I think we all knew that. Sometimes it’s Jean, and Jean is an even messier drunk, which results in the both of them actually being overly affectionate with each other in a strange, but endearing way. They both deny it to their graves when they’re sober, though.

Hovers around you. Constantly. Like a shadow. 

Does not leave you the hell alone when you’re in the kitchen. Will make it 100x more difficult for you to cook or just maneuver, which is ironic seeing as the most gourmet thing he can cook up is bagel with cream cheese. 

Sometimes Eren seems unaware of his size in comparison to you and your friends. It’s very sweet that he laughs with his whole body, but he’s got to realize that if bumps into you because of his sporadic laughter, that he might accidentally knock you into next Tuesday.

Likes when you touch his hair, doesn’t matter where or when, or who’s around. He loves it, all of it.

Will press his face against yours if he has stubble, just to be annoying. Like always.

If you hadn’t gotten it from everything else, he just likes to annoy you in general. But, like, affectionately. I keep saying it’s his love language and I mean it. Really—what it is is that he likes spending time with you, but he also likes annoying the hell out of you, too.

Bites. Not in a sexy way—well, unless you want him too—but, just because. Bites your shoulder when you’re not expecting it, bites your cheek while you’re in the middle of watching a show. Sometimes he takes your hand in his and your think it’s going to be sweet and he’s going to kiss it, but really he just brings it to his mouth to bite it.

Bites your ass, too. Again, just for fun. Because he thinks he can get away with it. Biting is a love language I’m telling y’all.

Likes to give you piggy back rides, even if you don’t ask for them or need one. You could be going from your room to the living room and Eren insists on carrying you there. 

And for some reason, he thinks that because he likes to hold/lift you, that that should apply to you as well?? Like he’s not 6′1 and big bodied, hello?? Eren you cannot just jump on top of people, you’re grown. 

He lets you dress him a lot. His fashion sense isn’t bad, and to be honest with you, I think he’d be a little bit of a hypebeast LOL. I don’t mean decked out head to toe in Supreme (god forbid...) but definitely has a bit of a sneaker obsession.

Not that he keeps them clean or is obsessive about creasing them he couldn’t care less. He just thinks they’re cool. Maybe even some accessories too, like those KAWS toys. Not a lot because they’re hard to get, but is really proud of his little growing collection.

But if you want to dress him up, he’s down for it. Would even let you buy him a pea coat so he can pretend to be a scholar. (He’s not BYE). He’ll tell you if something really isn’t his style, but he’ll wear it if you tell him he looks hot 🙄

Kinda forces his way into your life in little ways. Like, he’ll start adding his favorite snacks to your grocery lists. Moves a pair of your shoes from the door to make room for his own when he’s over. Basically claims two drawers for himself in your dresser. Annoying. Endearing.

Lowkey has his own intricate skincare routine, but he likes doing it with you more. He’ll make it a whole thing, and buy wine, and stupid drinking card games, and sit with you on your bed for 2 hours playing while your face masks dry. 

Texts you if you’re in the same room as him, but not paying attention to him. Especially if you’re doing schoolwork.

Throws pillows at you while you’re sitting at your desk to get your attention. He could just say your name, but it’s so much more fun this way (according to him anyway). It’s all fun and games until you smother him with one. 

Thinks arguing with you is cute, and sometimes says or does—or doesn’t do, for that matter—things just to incite an argument. Not a big one, or something serious, just petty things to rile you up so he can kiss and make up for it. For example, he’ll purposely putting the dishes in the wrong place, or hiding the remote from you, or putting his clothes in the wrong hamper.

“Eren, I swear to god, if you don’t stop putting the water bottles on the top shelf—” “What are you gonna do it about, pretty girl? Hit me with it? You can’t even reach—ow!”

being your loudest hype man (words of affirmation) 

The amount of pictures he has of you... criminal. From off-guards, to posed photos, to selfies, to screenshots, he has them all tucked away in a little folder with your name and a string of very inappropriate emojis after it.

Screenshots 90% of your snaps to him, even if his just of your eyebrows up. Sometimes because he thinks it’s funny, sometimes to save the picture because he likes it, but mostly because he knows you don’t understand WHY and that’s gives him the most satisfaction 😌

Loud and annoying in your comments on social media too. Hype man almost to a cringe fail level. He doesn’t care though, he has to let it be known. 

You could post a simple picture of you and Mikasa at lunch and Eren is in the comments screaming as per usual. @jaegerbomb: do i see TWO pretty best friends??? fuck it up besties 😫🥵🥵😜

GOD. HE WOULD RESPOND WITH “SO TRUE, BESTIE” TO ANYTHING ONCE HE LEARNS WHAT IT MEANS.

Oh, but he doesn’t take to it lightly when you call him bestie, or refer to him as your friend in any capacity. He’s your boyfriend, and would like to be labeled as such.

If you did that prank where you pick up the phone while you’re around him and say “Oh, I’m not too busy, I’m hanging with a friend right now,” he would pout about it for days. Days. Doesn’t get over it, and reminds you of your transgressions every two to three business weeks.

Tells you you look hot all the time, regardless of what you’re doing or wearing. He means it, too, genuinely, he thinks you’re hot. But he does get a kick out of how potentially embarrassed it makes you.

Tells you you’re smart and beautiful and his favorite person on the planet. He means it, always, even if the delivery isn’t romantic. Although, he would argue that telling you he would “tap that” is very romantic. 

for him: receiving gifts & words of affirmation

Eren would be really humbled and honored to receive a gift from you. He needs to receive physical affection, too—but something about you thinking about him enough to buy or make him a gift that he’ll love and cherish really hits home for him. He doesn’t have many people who would do that for him.

If you buy him anything, he’s using it the second it’s out of the wrapping paper. You buy him shoes? He’s wearing them the next day. A new case for his phone? Rips the old one off in an instant. A little trinket for his keychain? He can barely remember to carry his keys in the first place, but suddenly he can’t ever forget them now.

He just can’t get over the fact that you think about him and know him well enough to tailor your purchases to his liking. It’s almost an impossible concept to him, and really reassuring that you love him as much as he loves you.

On a similar note, he actually doesn’t mind couple items, as long as they’re not obvious and/or corny. Down to have a pair of matching hats or phone cases or even sneakers. You don’t even have to always/only wear them at the same time, just knowing you have the same thing at home kinda makes him feel fuzzy inside.

He also thinks it’s hot. He can’t explain why knowing his girl has the same kicks at him is hot, he just knows it is.

As much as he likes telling you how hot you are, Eren also likes to hear that you find him attractive—and that you like him, in general. For the most part, he gets that from your physical reciprocity and quite literally letting him hover around you like a fly, but it’s nice to be told with words every once in a while.

For as much as he knows it, he gets a little caught of guard whenever you tell him you love him. He knows you love him, but hearing it sometimes is a little surreal to him. Very reassuring, too, and everyone needs a little reassurance from time to time.