#Although I don't think many people have actually read Romeo and Juliet.

[cbs-scorpion-coffee-shop]

Blind Love

Has anyone noticed the parallels between Walter and Paige's relationship and Romeo and Juliet's relationship? I mean the original Shakespeare version, not any other version.

They're both 3 years apart. (Romeo's 16 and Juliet's 13, Walter's 35 and Paige's 32).

The man exits a relationship before the story begins (Romeo with Rosette and Walter with Janice).

There's even a scene of Romeo and Juliet that Walter acts out flawless in S2E11, and just the way Walter talks seems like someone who's read the works of Shakespeare.

More important than that, Romeo and Juliet don't actually love each other. They have a blind obsession with each other. A "violent delight" as the story puts it. It distorts their perception of themselves, each other and those around them, and eventually costs them everything.

Romeo is obsessed with Juliet the moment he lays eyes on her. He had just been pining for Rosette, thinking that he will never find an equal for her, and he would've continued to be so if not told by his friend to see Juliet.

Juliet is charmed by Romeo the moment she meets him, and conceives this image of him being a flawless man.

Over the course of the story, Romeo and Juliet go to further and further lengths for each other despite barely knowing each other, turning against their families, breaking the law and eventually they kill themselves when they think the other had died.

Their obsession with eachother makes them fail to realize how fickle, emotional and full of bullshit Romeo is, how Juliet is a young, foolish girl who would turn on her family for a boy she didn't know (if she would do that then she would turn on Romeo one day), how their families, despite being in conflict with each, wanted nothing but good for them, how they barely know other and have had two good conversations in their entire lifes, and how increasingly stupid their actions became over the story.

Walter and Paige's characters are a little deeper.

Walter had been unloved for most of his life due to the way he is. He meets Ralph who he relates to, and Paige who treats him with kindness and care. He perceives her to the woman of his dreams who can love him like no one does. Which she is.

Paige's father was a single, heartbroken and miserable dad. Her mother had left her. Her ex-husband had left her to take care of her son for years. Her entire life, she had been let down by figures who were supposed to be taking care of her. She meets Walter who gives her a stable job, a family, ends most of her struggles and loves her son as his own. She perceives him as the person who will fulfill all of her needs. Which he is.

However there are two problems. 1-Walter thinks that in order to be loved, he has to be someone else. 2-Paige thinks that in order to be loved, she has to be important.

So, when Walter, out of his fear, tells Paige to change him using scorpion as an excuse, and Paige, out of her fear, complies using her son's future and wellbeing as an excuse, things take a turn for the worse.

Walter becomes obsessed with who he thinks Paige is, while Paige becomes obsessed who she thinks Walter can be. They slowly go from helping and appreciating each other, to unintentionally hurting and sabotaging each other, and eventually breaking each others' heart.

Walter and Paige's obsession with each blinded them from the fact that Walter was the person Paige loved, and his constant changing made her subconsciously hold contempt for who he became. It blinded Paige from the fact that she was wanted and loved by everyone on Scorpion, and her lying, berating and humiliating of Walter made him fire her. It blinded Walter from how stupid, childish and downright shameful some of his actions were in S3. It blinded Paige from the fact that besides her failed marriage with Drew, and her short relationship with Tim, she has little to no experience in having a healthy romantic relationship or in even having a person that loves her and is willing to take care of her, and that she had no business telling Walter how to be a boyfriend.

That blindness eventually turned them into people that neither of them wanted to be. Walter into someone vulnerable, nervous, people-pleasing, gullible and full of shit sometimes, and Paige into someone emotional, fickle, hurtful, manipulative and lacks decency on several occasions.

I think Walter and Paige's characters were supposed to be a version of Romeo and Juliet that actually love each other in the end, but even all that could have been written so much better.

Anyways, that's my two cents on this theory.

[joaniscruzing]

stars between us ch.1 - h.c

Welcome to the first chapter of Stars Between Us! I don't know how many chapters this is going to be, but I'm excited! Comment if you'd like to be in the taglist!

Summary: You hit it off with Hazel on the bus ride to a school trip.

Contains: Fluff, one bed trope, nerd!reader, Hazel being happy to make new friends i need her please

“You guys really want me to go to fight club?” You were talking with Isabel and Brittany while waiting for Mr. G to start the class.

“Yeah! It’s huge on like female empowerment and stuff!” Isabel explains excitedly. Brittany nods along, going along with what Isabel is saying.

“Yeah, but other than you two, who else is there? PJ? The PJ that told Brittanay that she could poop out a hot dog?” Brittany nods out of agreement.

“There’s also Hazel. I think you two would make really good friends actually. She’s a little nerd like you.”

“She likes books and astronomy!?”

“More like bombs, but that’s not the point.” You widen your eyes at the response, flabbergasted by this new advancement in what you knew about Hazel. Surely, she was on the less-known, nerdier side of the people, usually quiet in class, but you didn’t know she made bombs. You had to admit, you were pretty damn impressed.

You looked at Hazel from across the room. Her shaggy mullet was a mess, and she was wearing a matching olive green shirt and shorts set. She awkwardly smiled and waved at you, to which you quickly raised your hand and looked away.

“Am I really this awkward?” you mumble, aggravated, your head in your hands, “how am I even friends with you guys?” you ask Brittany and Isabel.

“Well, you are the cheer team’s manager. And you’re very pretty.”

“I guess. What time is fight club today?”

“Don’t you remember? The camping trip starts today! We don’t have fight club since we’re all going home to pack.”

“Oh yeah! I already brought my stuff to school, so I’ll be here until the bus comes.”

“You really like planning ahead, don’t you?” Isabel points out.

“It takes away some of my anxiety. If I’m unprepared, I turn into the most stressed person ever.” you admit, a bit embarrassed. Mr. G comes up to the front of the class and begins to teach. You open your notebook and begin taking notes, even though you knew that you were going to have to go home and research, since Mr. G never taught correctly.

You spent the rest of the day going through most of the works, classes, lunch, and whatnot. You weren’t looking forward to having to wait two hours at school. That was for sure. You hated being in an empty school. Even though you had your book, you knew things were going to get very boring, especially since the cell phone and wifi in your school was horrible. The end of the day did approach though, and you sat in a corner nearby the gym, reading Romeo and Juliet for the millionth time. Although it was a play, in old english, and probably one of the silliest love stories you had ever read, you found some sort of comfort in it. It had been your favorite thing that you read during your freshman year of high school, and something you ended up trailing back to each year. After finishing the book, you opened another book that you brought with you. You were desperate to stay entertained and not preyed on by the football players before Isabel and Brittany got back.

Eventually though, they did. You grabbed your things the second they approached you, complaining about how boring it had been for the two hours you had waited after school. However, your two best friends were able to put a smile back on your face almost immediately. You three were laughing and talking the whole way to the bus. However, it was only two to a group of seats.

“Hey, I hope you don’t mind, but I kinda want to sit with Brittany. I hope you’re cool with that.” Isabel says. You know she feels bad, and that Brittany probably is sitting with Isabel so she doesn’t have to deal with PJ.

“Eh, don’t worry about it. I’ll be fine.” You walk over to PJ, only to see her sit down with Josie. But then you see Hazel. She’s sitting alone, at the window seat, listening to music. You see her curled up to the window, the long, knitted sleeves of her bowler’s cardigan past her hands and near her face. Hoping Hazel wasn’t too weirded out by what happened in Mr.G’s class earlier, you hesitantly tap her on the shoulder.

“Hey, Hazel?” Hazel almost jumps with how startled she is by you.

“Y-yeah? What’s up?”

“Mind if I sit here?” Hazel nods and motions for you to sit in the seat next to her.

“I don’t think we’ve actually talked before. I’m uh, Hazel. Hazel Callahan.” An awkward smile paints her face as she holds her right hand out for yours to shake. You tell her your name and shake her hand.

“What music are you listening to?” You decided to at least make some conversation with Hazel. After all, Brittany and Isabel had said that you two would get along.

“The Smiths.” she says while nodding, and pausing the music.

“I love The Smiths.” From then on, you two were yapping the whole bus ride to the campsite. You told Hazel about your favorite books, as well as some star-gazing you were looking forward to doing. Hazel told you about a bomb kit she bought off the black market, as well as how she was looking forward to the weekend away from home.

“The stuff about the stars you were talking about was pretty cool,” Hazel admits, “you’ll have to tell me when you’re going out to go and see them.”

“Of course! It’ll be fun! It’ll be nice to go star-gazing with a friend.”

“We’re friends?” Hazel looks like she’s genuinely asking this question.

“Of course we’re friends. You’re so nice, and we have so much in common.” You can see Hazel have this new sparkle in her eyes. Finally, someone likes her for her and actually wants to spend time with her? Just then, the bus stops, and you have to get up to retrieve your things. You reunite with Brittany and Isabel, excitedly telling them about how you had made friends with Hazel.

“Well, that’s good, since you two are going to be sharing a cabin with us.”

“Wait, really?” you ask while you guys walk to the cabin.

“Yeah. The whole fight club was going to share one, but there weren’t enough places for everyone, plus, Sylvie and Stella-Rebecca didn’t want to go.” Just then, you see Hazel headed toward the same path. You give her a small smile and wave, and she does the same. You all enter the cabin, to see that there are three beds.

“Alright,” PJ says while unlocking the door, “Brittany,”

“Absolutely not.” Brittany says, cutting of PJ mid-sentence, “I will be sleeping with Isabel, you will be sleeping with Josie.”

“So,” Isabel continues to you, “that leaves you and Hazel.”

[mimicha-arts]

Qian Jin

Hello and sorry. I’m here again with my “catch the details faster than the frame changes.” Let's talk about Qian Jin! I'm pretty sure we'll learn new information in the next episode because of the flashback, so I want to get ahead of things a little and play bingo ;)

SPOILERS FOR S2

1. Romeo and Juliet Many have discussed this, but we will go deeper. One of the main key points in the s2 is the Romeo and Juliet theme and poster, which we now know is related to Qian Jin's story.

In my opinion, his whole scene with the poster looked very personal, hardly just "symbolism" of his feelings after losing his wife or something like that. And here I will try to explain why. Because, most likely, the actress on the poster is Qian Jin's wife. Her name was shown for such a brief moment that I actually nearly lost my mind while trying to capture the frame. So, her name is probably Chen Nan (陈楠). And I really don't think it was necessary to include such details if they are minor.

Well. Pure speculations. We all remember that initially everything was wrong with the case, the suspect in the murder of Qian Jin‘s wife after some time committed suicide and left a note with a confession. Although I can read some words, I can't rely on my eyes, so I can't string them together into complete sentences. But what I can guess is that there are two characters in the signature, and the surname kinda looks like Zhuang (庄).

So. Which character also has the surname Zhuang, who has already been "shown" in the series… On the same poster of "Romeo and Juliet", where the actress, theoretically, was Qian Jin's wife… Yeah. Zhuang Shuai (庄帅)

Okay, this could all be a coincidence, my imagination, speculation. But is these details actually connected, for now, until this has been refuted, I suspect that the story of the murder of Qian Jin's wife was much more personal and deep. Like, now we are convinced that after he found out about Cheng Xiaoshi's ability, his motivation is obviously to capture Cheng Xiaoshi in order to rewrite the past. Likely to save his wife (?). But I'm not sure how much more complex it will be?

If any of this is confirmed, I rather think that Qian Jin's wife was killed by Zhuang Shuai out of jealousy. I also need to say, for now I don't think that 戴绿帽子 is a possible situation here, seems TOO cruel for me, but who knows.

2. Qian Jin and details Eyes. We were all confused because Qian Jin's eyes were not common, but icy yellow. In fact, his eyes can be said to have three states. I also note that sometimes pupils are not drawn or too small because of 2D graphics, so I take into account only obvious close-ups. First type: present, yellow eyes with a vertical pupil. We see that kind of his eyes in most of his scenes. The same type of eyes are in his character design pictures and intro.

Second type: present, yellow with a round pupil. This type of eyes appears specifically in episode 4.

(Technically) third type: the past, yellow eyes with a round pupil. In all the close-up scenes in flashbacks, his pupils are round.

Abilities: It's hard to guess, but at the moment I don't think he personally has any special abilities. It seems to me, given his one line, that Qian Jin relies more on his skills, plans and his people, treating abilities (at least in this situation) in a rather lenient way. Also, his real words sound more special and poetic - If there is a way to reach the sky, it will be difficult to fly away even with wings (friendly reminder, I'm not a translator or native speaker)

But there is one dubious detail. OK. Speaking of gloves, he probably uses gloves to avoid accidentally touching Li Tianchen and getting controlled, which is a pretty logical conclusion after episode 8. But. At some point, while talking to Li Tianchen, when the frame points to Qian Jin, there is a rather small movement of the hand and the sound of either the rustle of clothes, or the sound of something being handed over (ep 7, 1:22-1:28). This was weird.

This may be a trick, but at some point, when it gets to 7pm, Qian Jin claps his hands. And given to Cheng Xiaoshi's abilities, we know that clapping can be a means of activating/disabling an ability.

Speculation: Since we can't fully rely on changing the shape of the eyes, pupil, eye color, due to the change in visual "rules" compared to season 1 + animation errors, but for now I'll make assumptions.

In fact, in some of these scenes, Qian Jin may be possessed by Cheng Xiaoshi (which is trite, but possible)

Someone uses their abilities on Qian Jin, they are in cooperation. This person either possess him either they watches events through Qian Jin's eyes from time to time, as if through a camera.

Qian Jin gave something to Li Tianchen in the car, and that will play a role in the plot.

The change of eyes is an attempt to show the change in his personality, but I don't think it's that simple.

3. Something beyond my understanding

The man with a hat. They are obviously connected, and I already wrote a big theory about this, if the man in the hat turns out to be Liu Xiao, let's not dwell on this, if you want to read, click on - Person in the shadows.

Dates In his intro, although there is some information, as always, the year is not indicated. Obviously, the current year is still 2021 (according to s1). But in the second season, we are not shown specific dates anywhere (even with the twins, although we can find out their year of birth by literally subtracting 19), and here. There is an event, there is a blurry date. Not specified. I guess something is wrong with time already or is this a hint that it doesn’t matter, because the events are looped / will be erased.

Player and music And probably the most ??????? thing. When Qian Jin is in the car, there is a VERY short frame before he takes the call. If you catch it... here is a player on the screen. The music is Symphony of Fate (生命交响乐). And the player does not have a "back" button, only forward.

Time is like music, yeah. Thank you for reading once again ~ I hope episode 9 gives us more information and answers some questions though… *cries*. Feel free to discuss!

[docotokautism]

since you asked me to answer all of thhe questions, you gotta answer all of the questions too!

💖 Which of your fics is your pride and joy?

probably zombie saga, although i also love 'i will vandalize your grave in your name', the 7+1 fic and some others that i think im forgetting. OH and 'we were staying in paris'

🎥 Pick a fic and I'll tell you the song I imagine playing during its movie trailer.

well this requires imput from other people. so.

but i'll choose zombie saga!! and the trailer song is Mamma Mia by ABBA. naturally

📝 How many words do you have posted?

approximately 162609

🤩 What's the most meaningful comment you've ever received?

that fucking ESSAY that Plankton wrote about iwvygiyn

🔮What's your favorite plot twist you've ever written?

ohh, this is an interesting one actually. definitely something in zombie saga but im not sure what!

👄 Your OTP are having their first kiss. What song do you imagine is playing?

THIS IS SO FUNNY AS A MUSICAL FAN. uh I Kissed A Girl. because that is what happens yeag

🎭What genre of writing comes easiest to you?

ANGST. it's so much easier than happy stuff lol it's like poetry for me

🙊Your coworkers or classmates stumble across one of your fics, but don't know you're the author. Do you fess up? Or keep quiet?

yeah i would tell them

🙌What's a line or paragraph of yours that you're proud of?

"Go to sleep, Lance, and now that she’s gone you sleep with your mistakes" from my fic 'don't speak (i know just what you're saying)', but also many different things from (especially the second chapter of) iwvygiyn

🦉Is there another author that helped inspire you to write?

@fen-the-magnificat !!!!!

👶Fankids: How you do you feel about them? Would your OTP have kids?

i dont have any fankids unless you count the Dubois brothers, but i think they're neat! i dont know if Frankie and May would have kids but they would be AMAZING parents, and i dont think Juliet and Romeo would have any. William and Anne already have kids, and Lance has kids too which make them Angelique's kids

🐗How do you handle trolls?

i havent had any trolls

🟥How long do you spend in edits?

like 5 minutes to skim over it when ive put it in ao3 idk

🏡What is your perfect writing envrionment?

uh. i dont fucking know

💪What motivates you to write?

someone needs to write about my blorbos!!!

🚿Where do your best ideas seem to strike?

well zombie saga happened because i sent some dumb asks to Felix, anything about the wedding happening just comes randomly, and iwvygiyn came from a page of the sandman!

🌠What are your top three most commonly used tags on AO3?

uhh okay i'll do top 3 for each ig??

ratings: general (39), teen & up (38), not rated (1)

warnings: no warnings (52), chose not to use warnings (14), major character death (12)

categories: other (61), multi (49), F/M (46)

fandoms: & Juliet (74), citc (27), community (16) (last two are crossovers with &j btw)

characters: Francois (59), May (54), Juliet (51)

relationships: Francois/May (61), Juliet/Romeo (41), Juliet & May (34)

additional: title from an ABBA song (19), zombie apocalypse (18), not beta read (9)

overall top 3 are & Juliet, maycois/other (lumping those together lol) and Francois

💻What do you write your stories on? Laptop, phone, paper, etc.

laptop and phone!

🤔What are some words or phrases you find yourself overusing?

'Francois snuggled (etc etc)', probably, among other things lol

📕How do you feel about people printing your fics?

yeah fuck it just dont claim it as your own tbh

🤷‍♀️What's a fic you didn't expect to be popular, but really took off?

honestly. none. my readers are 3 friends and my brother and they all love everything basically

🍎What's something you learned while researching for a fic?

sinhalese isnt very gendered at all! it was refreshing cause normally i use italian and french which are very gendered

🥘What wip are you most excited about?

ohh... i think the new saga chapters lol

🦗Do you write in sequence or jump around?

not sure what this means sorry

👀 Would you ever accept requests or commissions?

yeah!! i might not get to them but i will try (if it's a commission i definitely will though!)

😱What's your greatest fear as a fanfic writer?

the actors reading my fics.

☕Coffee or tea while you write?

neither i am dehydrated

📈Which are your top three most popular fics by bookmarks?

'they forever hold their peace', 'Flower Crowns & Royalty' and 'Glee!' all with three bookmarks

🎬One of your fics gets turned into a TV series. Which one is it and what network is it on?

ZOMBIE SAGA FOR SURE. idk what network though

🛌 What's a trope you haven't written, but want to?

there was only one bed probably

🐸 If you incorporated your OTP into a Disney movie plot, which would it be?

i dont know, i dont watch enough disney

👩‍🎓 Do you have an 'official' creative writing background such as a degree or previous experience publishing?

nope

⏳If you could go back in time and tell your younger writer self something, what would it be?

already answered

💯 What rating do you write the most? Gen Audiences, Teen, Mature, or Explicit? How many fics at that rating do you have?

gen audiences with 39 fics!

😁What makes you happiest? New fic comments, kudos, bookmarks, user subscribers, story subscribers, or Tumblr asks?

COMMENTS !!!!!!!! AND TUMBLR ASKS and BOOKMARKS with nice comments!!!!!

🐎 Would you ever do a medieval or pirate au?

ohh, that could be fun actually

👩‍🏫Pick a character and I'll tell you their favorite season and why.

requires a character to be picked. i choose Frankie though and his favourite is autumn cause it's cold but not too cold

��Do you make playlists for your fics?

only sometimes!

🌷What's one of your fics that isn't as popular, but you hold dear?

my fromeo besties fics :)

❓Insert your own question here!

(not counted)

[missewoodhouse]

In light of this week's Observer article about London theatre pricing, I want to talk about a slightly older Guardian article that provides a bit more perspective on all this hand-wringing over top ticket prices:

If you can read beyond the headline, Chris Weigand actually does a great job of contextualizing those headline-grabbing top ticket prices. Because if you look at the other half of The Stage's survey data, the cheapest ticket prices have actually been going down in recent years (although that's sometimes a lottery ticket or an access scheme that isn't available to everyone). And the key thing is that the high-priced premium seats are doing a lot to subsidize those cheaper ones.

Most tickets are still falling somewhere in the middle ground -- and I would be very interested in what the average overall ticket prices look like show to show (or what percentage are being sold in various price brackets).

I think there's a lot of productive conversation to be had about expanding access schemes and prices that allow an average family to take a trip to the theatre, but you don't need a "premium" seat to have a perfectly good view of the show. Also, when someone says "You can't get a seat for less than [absurd $/£ amount]" that's usually a reference to *current* availability for something popular -- just because you didn't snag one of the £75 tickets before they sold out doesn't mean they don't exist. When prices are dynamic (and/or tickets are scarce), buying early is often rewarded, and I'd much rather the theatre make the profit than some reseller online. (Pricing structures that encourage people to buy tickets early are also good for the industry generally -- how many articles was I reading a decade ago about how young people are killing off non-profit subscription models because we don't like to make plans in advance?)

While we're at it, I'm going to need all the aging stars reminiscing about "the good-old-days when a broke actor could afford to see tons of shows" to have a long, hard think about how much of that was because they were getting industry comps and discounts to half of what they saw. And maybe try advocating for additional concessionary tickets in their next contract, instead of griping to the press? Since The Observer helpfully brought up Merrily, I'm going to end with a reminder that affordability isn't a new problem: within the show, 1950s/60s era Frank and Charley make a habit of second-acting, or "sneaking in at intermission to the plays you wish you could afford".

[allsassnoclass]

hi hazel! can i ask 9, 17 and 30? -taylor

@whippedbuckley hi taylor!!! sorry for the delay, i had to go to work :/

9. How do you find new fic to read? It depends on how big the fandom is! For 5sos, I mostly read fics by people I know or that they recommend, but I also sometimes go to the ao3 page and scroll a bit to see what's around. For bigger fandoms that I'm returning to after a while, I'll filter completed, non-explicit works updated within a six-month timeframe by kudos, then see what seems good there, then repeat with a different six-month timeframe. If it's a bigger fandom that i've been reading some stuff for already, i'll go by most recent. If it's a smaller fandom, I go by kudos and just keep scrolling. I know that some people are going to be like BUT KUDOS AREN'T INDICATIVE OF HOW GOOD A WORK IS AND YOU'RE MISSING OUT ON SO MANY GOOD FICS AND YADA YADA YADA but here's the thing. i am fully aware of that. but I don't have time for that unless i'm heavily entrenched in the fandom. it's easier for me to filter out the good and the bad when i sort via kudos.

17. What highly specific AU do you want to read or write even though you might be the only person to appreciate it? for 5sos? i want to write a roylum bali kinda-soulmate au, where everyone has one (1) letter on their skin that's in legend the first letter of their soulmate's name (although there's no way to prove this given how many people have names that start with the same letter and how love is a choice you have to work on, so it's mostly considered a pseudo-science) and it takes place in those days where roy stayed behind to hang out with cal in bali. i also would like to write a circus au!!!! but i have to figure out how i'd do that because my circus school au was originally a 1d fic and i don't think i can adapt it to 5sos in a way that fits the vibes

also, though, I have a few aus for other fandoms that i really want to write that i know no one else here wants to read:

the cobra kai time travel au where both sam and robby get sent back to the school fight and have to figure out how to prevent half of the trauma and gang violence that occurs later while they both struggle with reconciling what they know of the world they just came from with how things and people react if robby never kicked miguel over the balcony

a fic where the hsmtmts kids get put in an artsy production of romeo and juliet out in the woods. they need to learn how to act in unconventional spaces and to do something besides broadway-style musicals

the band of brothers band au where luztoye are exes and joe left the band after a car crash took his leg. a big motivation to write this one is to see how many times i can make someone joke about lipton being a donnie wahlberg clone, as he is the lead singer. i have all of the roles vaguely cast but i'm having a hard time figuring out the specific plot

omg i don't think i'll actually get around to writing this but years ago i had a wild idea to do a national treasure au with the losers from the it movies. i still think of that idea fondly and do think it was very big brained of me

30. Have you ever written something that was out of your comfort zone? If so, what was it, and how did it affect your approach to writing fic thereafter? i... don't really think so? i feel like my comfort zone is relatively large and my hard nos are hard nos, meaning that I don't really cross lines with myself. any time i go into details about kissing i always feel like i'm doing it wrong, so that's not quite in my comfort zone, but i also don't think it really affects my approach to writing afterwards. i think i'm very methodical with my writing and always will be and will always tackle writing problems that way.

Questions for fic writers

[jamiemaybeme]

adding some more incoherent rambling to this (semi) incoherent rambling:

Romeo & Juliet is also often regarded as the greatest love story written, but it is, at its heart, a TRAGEDY about two people ON OPPOSITE SIDES OF A FEUD falling in love.

extra context for those not doing GCSE english/who haven't read or watched R & J

the "no nightingales" line is said the morning after they've consummated their marriage (meaning it's official now). romeo has been banished, and says he needs to leave because he can hear the "morning lark" (aka ‘it's morning i gtg’). but juliet doesn't want him to leave, so she playfully says it's a "nightingale" he can hear, and he still has hours before he needs to leave. however, he needs to leave because if he gets caught in verona he'll be executed, as punishment for disobeying the laws of banishment.

so...

...essentially, the lark is also a symbol of death/ impending doom, whilst the nightingale is a symbol of freedom and (BRIEF)* escape.

*(this word 'brief' is important because Romeo & Juliet is building up to their deaths at the end, and their happiness is also brief, and in GO, they have escaped from heaven and hell's watch, but - as crowley points out - it's not for forever, just a few years.)

symbolism

throughout the play, there is a lot of symbolism of juliet describing her wedding bed being = to her grave, and after romeo climbs down the ladder, she says he looks almost dead. this foreshadowing is immense and - at this point in the play (act iv(?), i believe) - important.

the significance of having this conversation after the symbolism of the birds makes the lark = death even more prominent.

and if the lark = death, then - contrastingly - the nightingale = life. and no nightgales = no life.

how does this link to GO?

NOW, in GO, it is unlikely this is the death of the actual characters, seeing as they've already been victims of attempted murder, so what does the nightingale symbol the life of?

aziraphale and crowley's relationship.

(i know i'm stating the obvious here bear with me)

the life of it: which is at its height at the end of season one (hence the presence of the nightingale); and its 'death': at its lowest, potentially even its end in the last episode of season two (the nightingale has gone = their relationship is dead).

but but but, i DON'T think it's over. in fact, i know it's not. so, there are two options.

ONE: the symbolism is from THE CHARACTERS' perspectives. crowley especially, believes that this is it. aziraphale has left him, and he's just been waiting for it to happen all these years. he'd hoped it wouldn't happen, even dared to believe in aziraphale, but now he feels betrayed. i don't think he can see this relationship being restored, although i do think he desperately wants it to be. not that he would EVER admit this.

TWO: this is the end of their relationship AS WE KNOW IT. of course, it's had many different phases, from eden to 1941 to present day. none of them have quite ended this way, in fact they've almost merged into one another (from what we've seen). but maybe they haven't. this sort of thing could happen way more often than we think. we saw their argument at the bandstand in season one, and both of them were convinced they weren't coming back. and guess what? they did.

i don't think they'll be as quick to reconcile with each other as they were then, but given they had to save they world, and once again they need to save the world, i think it'll be rather similar. they seem to be able to make up a lot quicker when humanity is at stake.

conclusion

anyway, this was a lot of rambling that got off topic, but i could literally talk about this for HOURS (haha hyperfixations, am i right?). i hope someone gets something out of it at least.

i think my main points were:

nightingale = symbol of life

lack of nightingale = the end of Something

crowley and aziraphale are being dramatic tbh

they'll sacrifice their pride for the sake of humanity, so they'll be fine.

also i only lightly touched on this at the start but romeo & juliet is literally about two people destined to be together, who are on opposite sides of a fight, and who suffer the consequences of other people's bias. they are the embodiment of 'right person wrong time'. if that's not aziraphale and crowley idk what is.

HELLO HI I HAVE SOME RAMBLINGS ABT THE GOS2 ENDING (yes I know it's been almost six months)

so, obviously we know that 'no nightingales' is a reference to a Nightingale sang in Berkley square. but here's another point that could be completely unrelated, for all I know. in act 3 scene 5 of Romeo and Juliet, Romeo says 'no nightingale' in response to Juliet saying 'it was the nightingale and not the lark'

Juliet is saying it is the nightingale because she doesn't want her and Romeo's evening to end - the morning brings Romeo's banishment. But Romeo has realised he has to face his fateat some point and so tells Juliet that there are no nightingales singing.

The nightingale symbolises the peak in their relationship and the lark symbolises the ending. So Crowley saying that there are 'no nightingales' also tells us that his happiest moments with Aziraphale, no matter how brief, must come to an end.

[sanstropfremir]

Thanks for the play recs! I’ve read and studied some Shakespeare plays extensively and I enjoy them a lot. Macbeth is one that I didn’t read yet but I’ve seen MANY film adaptations (4+). The last one from the Coen brother was very funny on the end. I’ll keep you updated on my impressions after reading them.

As for the dance recs I was looking for something more about modern/contemporary dance. I’m not a big fan of ballet. Although I enjoy the music (I was a classical musician many years ago and I ADORE it. Ended up dropping tho because I didn’t want to pursue the career professionally. Still have the knowledge and I’ve worked with orchestras on marketing/social media/communication. Also a very fucked up world on all levels but that’s a story for another time) and appreciate the dance, it was never that appealing to me. So any recs/ideas?

✨🎥 anon

oh yea most people have read at least one shakespeare, and i'm not surprised you've studied some of them as well. those four are my top faves (romeo and juliet is tied with hamlet actually but i didn't include it bc that's usually the one most ppl have read, but i do also recommend it if you somehow haven't). the tempest is my fave bc i'm sentimental and it's also my dad's favourite, but mackers is the one i recommend to people bc it has such fucking power. it was actually the first shakespeare i every saw a 'real' production of (ie, went to a theatre to watch) when i was i think 12? and funnily enough i actually ended up working ON a production of it about 8 years later with the guy who played mackers in that first production i saw. (he was MORTIFIED when i told him it was sooooo funny). would love to hear how you get on reading them! the sarah ruhl ones are a bit on the out-there side but i think she's such a brilliant writer.

ah, i still don't really have any book recommendations bc i haven't done a ton of academic research in modern dance, but i'd start with people like merce cunningham, martha graham, and pina bausch! i think merce cuninngham actually wrote some books himself and there's obvs been several biographies of him and his influence on modern dance + art. the whole cadre of artists from that era are all very interconnected (cunningham and john cage were partners) and it's very interesting to see how everyone was influenced by each other.

[venteamocha]

Hello! Sometimes I see you post stuff from IF blogs and I've recently started playing some IF games, which I've enjoyed so far. Do you have any IF stories you'd recommend in particular? I'm not attached to any particular genre and I don't need romance or a self-insert main character, (though I'm not opposed to either). Though, it's a definite plus if it's LGBTQ+ inclusive! I'm not really sure what the "cornerstones" are of IF so I'll take any and all recommendations haha

Oh god, I play so many IFs. So many. And it’s not even close to all of them, but I’m trying!!

Tbh IFs without romance seems to be very rare, I think because when I think IF I think Choice of Games, and those pretty much always have romance in them. At least, the most well known ones do. But a well done one without romance would be nice too!

Okay, this is a list of my favourites! They’re all LGBT+ inclusive, and most have gender selectable love interests, or at least ones that change gender depending on the gender and sexuality combination you pick. In no particular order, of course.  Behind a cut because I’m gonna give them each a mini review. Because I haven’t done that yet.

(There are so many.)

Mind Blind: I absolutely love our big brother Nick, I love how witty and sharp so much of the dialogue is, I love how the MC clearly has a rather large handicap, but is still such an important person to so many people and not looked down on in the slightest. And when they are, we all know it’s because that person is a jerk! They’re not defined by what they aren’t, but what they are, and that’s a great message.

Shepherds of Haven: Part of why I love this one so much is I just love fantasy settings and this one just pulls it off so well. The cast is full of amazing characters, and I gotta say I die inside pretty regularly for not being able to afford the patreon content, lol. The author puts so much amazing stuff on there, and gives us so much great content in the game and through answers on tumblr, and you can tell this whole thing is just the best thing ever to them, and that makes it the best ever for us readers too!

The Wayhaven Chronicles: I’d be shot if I didn’t mention this one, the series that literally killed dashingdon when the book 3 demo dropped!! Again, another author that cares a lot and does their best to do right by their fans. We’ve been given drip after drip of these amazing characters backstories, and I just cannot wait for more! It’s definitely very romance centered, but the overall plotlines are also very good, and I have to say that no matter who I romance, I just feel like the group as a whole is a family. And that’s wonderful.

Speaker: I really like the lore. I really like the lore. I can’t wait until we get more of the overall plotline. Mostly I want my Speaker to get in deep trouble so Seb, Li and Seer (best sister ever) go off and beat the shit out of whatever is causing it. This probably says something about me, but what can I say, I thrive on angst and inflicting near death injuries on my OCs. Sometimes I even kill them, although all of this is offtopic. Or is it? I guess we’ll find out, although I doubt we’ll actually be able to kill off Speaker. And yes, I am definitely playing the Seb & Li poly route. I love them both so much. 

Wilhelmina: I love vampires, ok? Ok? And this one is based off Dracula!! The OG!! And you can choose Drac’s gender!! Shit, sign me up forever!! Yeah, she might be literally killing my bff, torturing my fiancé and low key fucking with my mind, but vampires are hot!! Let me live! Or not. But yeah, this is a really well done retelling of the Dracula novel and I like how well it works as an IF. Did I mention I like vampires?? Especially when they get all monstery?? (This one has an MC with a set gender, as it’s based on an already existing literary figure. Mina can have a same sex relationship with dracula, if you make drac a female, or with Lucy, a female love interest.)

More Things in Heaven and Earth: Hi Nell!! First off, I gotta uncover a deep shame of mine. My family literally has a Shakespeare heirloom collection. As in, my greatgrandfather passed down through the family a collection of Shakespeare that was published in 1911. In ye olde englishe. I tried to read it when I was like 10 and was like what language is this?? What the fuck? What the fuck??? And ended up reading As You Like It, a bit of Romeo and Juliet, and a little of Hamlet. Didn’t touch the rest of it. I only got into the other stories through trashy ya reimaginings. That said, this retelling of Hamlet inspired me to go read the whole of the original and now I have a lot of fears for these characters that I’m so much more attached to, oh god I hope my Ophelia has a happy ending. I hope Hamlet himself has a happy ending. The dialogue is so well done, everyone is engaging, and yeah it made me finish an old af book when nothing else did. (This one also has an MC with a set gender, female, for the same reason. However, there are two gender variable love interests, so you can very much play a bi or gay Ophelia if you so choose.)

Guenevere: I love King Arthur. All the myths. I have so many books based on the King Arthur mythos, oh dear god. I love pretty much every version of it. All the movie and tv shows too! I just can’t get enough of those knights. I could go on for paragraphs about how courtly love worked and how all the different social castes were, but I’ll try not to. This series lets you customize Guen as a character to an amazing degree, considering that she’s also based on an actual literary figure like the other two I mentioned above. It really feels like she becomes your own character, and yet she still exists within this world very very well. I worry quite a bit that the author might have bit off more than they can chew with the current book they’re working on, what I’ve seen of it looks absolutely massive in scale. What is out so far is a wonderful read though, full of drama and laughter and lots of chances to make the story your own.

Bastard of Camelot: Yep! Another King Arthur series! Sue me! This one lets you set Mordred’s gender though, so it’s more inclusive in that way. It is very interesting to play as one of the “bad guys” of the King Arthur mythos. You can play them as straight up evil, as good, or you know, a bit of column a and a bit of column b. Or they can just be a rude little shit. It’s got dragons too! You get a dragon pet! Dragons are cool. It can be a bit tough to play sometimes, since a lot of people dislike Mordred quite a lot because of prejudices. Hopefully this will change a bit later in the series if you’ve been a fairly good person up to that point. Gotta say though, as a warning, that Mordred is a product of incest. It’s not glossed over, and it does cause a lot of problems for them in the story.

God of the Red Mountain: I just love that this inspired me to read more chinese mythology tbh. There is just so much here! And it’s just such a good read. I wish I was better at describing things. The MC being a spirit that you can define, the whole setting, most of the love interests also being spirits, the massive amount of history and culture and lore, how it all fits together. It is such a well done story. I really wish it got more attention than it does. I still miss Big Sister. I still can’t wait to find out more about the foxes, and how we can heal our MC.

The Nameless: Another one that lets you play as something otherworldly. I love the lore behind this one, and I love all of the cast I’ve met. I kind of like that our MC isn’t loved right off the bat, that we’ll have to win over all of our love interests and even the other npcs. I’m up for the challenge! Everything I’ve read on the tumblr for these characters just makes me love them all more tbh. I love how much they’ve written for all of them! Most of all though, I love Oisein. All the art of them is just *chef kiss* and their personality is magical.

A Mage Reborn: This is a really recent one but!! Wow, it’s really well done! That cliffhanger!! Oof!! Not many books literally start with killing your MC off! That takes guts! I told the author this already, but I love the way they formatted this, the way it starts with the end, so to speak, and then fills it all out. It just made everything feel so poignant, how MC is literally looking back at all these moments in time in the last minutes they have before they die. Shit. That’s powerful. And there’s gonna be more??? Can’t wait for that angst. Give me that drama. Of course I picked the one who had me killed, that’s just how I am!

These are all just the COG type games, there are a few twine games with graphics I’d throw on here, but the list is long enough as it is and they feel like they’re in a different category to me. Maybe it’s just me?

[p---leia]

Ancient Writer of dreams and nightmares: I am 71 (-one month), and have been writing (making up tales) since I was three. I can still remember my Pawpaw whittling a pencil for me, and Mawmaw tearing a piece of brown grocery bag for me to write on. They weren't 'poor', but writing paper wasn't to be wasted on a 'kid' just for fun. I carefully scripted my first short story.

Of course my 'letters' looked more like ancient Hanguel, so I had to read it to my "captured" audience. I really don't remember the story, but as my grandparents had a yard full of chickens and my dog, Mutt, liked to chase them (because of this we 'both' got into trouble -- because I always joined the chase) I most probably wrote about that.

My Pawpaw was a story-teller. For several years I thought there really was a baby found in the wilds of the African jungle and raised by the great apes. I thought he was the luckiest babe, EVER!

Then I found Pawpaw's books about three years after he died. I was eleven when he died, and felt that my best friend had abandoned me. But when I found those books I realized just where Tarzan actually came from and went to. I read everyone of those books and got the complete picture. THEN..

Well, Pawpaw also told stories of Daniel Boone and Davey Crocket...before I saw them on Disney. Then, of course, I went to school and learned what I already knew. Pawpaw was an excellent story-teller and never mixed up his facts, time-lines, or characters.

Growing up under his influence had a lot to do with how I developed as a story-teller. At family gatherings when I meet cousins I haven't seen in decades, they STILL remember me and the stories that I used to tell them. My children and grandchildren have grown up with me re-telling Pawpaw's old stories, and sharing many that I made up on the spot.

But I think what I read in my early years developed my writing style.

I was just turned eight when I read my first Shakespeare, MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S DREAM. He was my first favorite author. Then I was forced to read Romeo and Juliet. I was disgusted by the fact that TRAGEDY was made famous as a ROMANCE! Even at the innocent (then) age of fourteen, I was disgusted with the idea that it was considered romantic for 'anyone', let alone 'teenagers' to commit suicide over unrequited love.

My sister (now 68) and I recently discussed this play. Because she had a 'forbidden' teenage love, she said that she related to the story (even though she had never read it). GASP! It was required reading in ninth grade!

I remember our dad breaking up my sister and her boyfriend, who was really cool. He was a hard working farm boy who had saved his money to buy a motorcycle. AND his own car. But he wasn't good enough for my sister. smh

I always thought her story would make a great LifeTime movie. But I'm not touching it. She would 'skin me' for sharing with the world her broken heart. And if I added the stuff that sells today, she'd scalp me for lying. Not a win situation at all. So, I will write notes in my "Random Jottings Journal" for future decendants who might grow into writers or story-tellers.

By the way, the title "RANDOM JOTTINGS" came from a sci-fi book that I read as a kid in the fifties. I don't remember the author, although I'm pretty sure it 'might' be from a Heinlein juvenile book. But I've never found a reference to any sci-fi books using that term. SO!!! If anyone recognizes "RANDOM JOTTINGS", which was a note book that a professor/scientist/genius used to keep his 'thoughts', PLEASE share the author's name and the title of the book!!! Thank You.

In the meantime, I referenced Shakespeare. James Oliver Curwood wrote about Kazan, the Wolf Dog, and later Baree, Son of Kazan. From those two books, read when I was eleven, I searched for and found other books about Canada. Later there was Walter Farley, author of the Black Stallion, and the Island Stallion series. I think I met my FIRST friendly alien in the Island Stallion Races.

Of course, Edgar Rice Burroughs taught me much false history about the jungles of Africa, as well as the Moon and Mars. But I loved every 'read-under-the-covers-with a-flashlight' minute! I believe he was a contemporary of Zane Grey, because he wrote a few non-jungle and non-space stories, too. Which led me to Zane Grey.

Having read both of their biographies at a young age, I learned about the hardships of being a writer. I should say 'the hardships of a struggling writer'. I have never had a problem writing. Since I write for 'fun' and not 'profit', the few short stories I've had published were by local press, and a State magazine.

No, my struggles have centered around graduating high school, and completing college, stuggling to satisfy my husband, a 'Mr. Spock in the Flesh' personality, and later raising two children without benefit of parental support or child support. But we survived in the middle of laughter and many tears. And my made up stories about children lost in the woods who were rescued by a great friendly bear, or wolf. Or dog. And sometimes by a great Black Panther - a by product of one of my Pawpaw's 'local historical tales'.

I understand that publishers detest stories that begin with "It was a dark and stormy night.." But let me tell you, some of the BEST bedtime stories occur on stormy nights when the power has gone out, and it's too hot for candles or lanterns. That shadow that stands darkest in the corner and seems to be moving towards the bed is actually grandma come to check on the kids, and stands quiet so not to disturb the kids if they're already asleep. But since they are awake, and they see her 'shadow', she becomes the old crone who lives in the castle dungeon, and has slipped her chains to visit with the 'wee folk'. But there are no fairies out on such a blustery night, so the old crone comes to visit with the 'wee bairn', who fall all over themselves to get out of bed and sit around her to hear her stories of 'long ago' and other 'dark and stormy nights'. Again -- unpublished, because publishers don't like ... LOL

Of course there's always On-Line publishing. But that involves more work than actual writing.

Back to the writrs who influenced my writing:

While I enjoy a good Western, an adventurous space trek, or time travel, I also enjoy the occasional Historical Romance. Georgette Heyer was my first! I still re-read her amazing books. Of course there's Jane Austen.

There are a myriad of modern writers that I have read over the last five decades. Heinlen, Asimov, Norton, Bradley, McCaffrey, Moon, Stirling, Krentz/Castle/Quick, and Moening, just to name a few of the ones whose books I have in my personal library.

Those older authors did affect my writing style to develope as I read their stories. The later authors helped me to move into the late 20th century. But I'm not so sure that I like the 21st century so much. It's all about being politically 'correct'. If you aren't ashamed of your gender, your race, your country, your religion, your culture, your family, your history, then you are prejudiced. That's just too much guilt to have to live with.

I'm still dealing with my mom's death from ten years ago. I was her care-giver for five years. Her doctor had given her nine months. I still worry if I did enough for her in those last years.

And though my children are grown with their own families, I worry that I wasn't a good enough parent. And I worthy as a grandmother? How was I as an older sister? I was responsible as a moral guide when our parents were at work. Was I a good neighbor? A good support in our Church? And Hollywood wants me to feel guilt about something I can't change?!!

I'm an old woman who still likes being a woman and enjoys liking men. I'm not just white. I'm also mixed with a bit of Native American, and even a drop of -- OMG!!! --- Black. snicker.

That's a serious joke, because as a kid I had a recuring nightmare that I was a black man being judged by a group of people in white hoods I was hanged amidst their fiery torches. I always thought those white hoods represented the Catholic Church, because at that young age I didn't know about the Ku Klux Klan. Even though I grew up in the South, my family was not involved with that group of out-lawrey. Thank God!

Still, I'm supposed to feel shame? For something not even my family supported.

I've always believed there's a hint of Fae in my DNA. Because I love dancing in the light of the full moon, and flying with the owls who perch outside my bedroom window and call to invite me to follow the moon's shadow. If I am part Fae, I know it came from my mother's people. They were Irish mixed with Alabama Indians who believed in the Nunnehi aka Immortal, and the Yunwi Tsunsdi, aka Little People.

ALSO, while there's no DNA proof of ancestry, I've always been a 'closet Chinese'.

In the Fifties, when WW2 was still fresh, and we were involved with the 'Korean Conflict', and at odds with China, I would sneak around the radio, turn down the volume, and tune into 'that wierd channel' that sometimes played Opera, or Chinese music. Ahhh. I would close my eyes and wander through the few visuals I'd found in books, or the occasional movie. (before color tv)

A year or two ago I was totally depressed and disgusted with American TV. Hollywood has become so political, so wierd. Their programming is no longer for entertainment, but to 'educate, enlighten, or to inform'. zzzzz

Then I found KDrama!!!!! Korean TV. Japanese Tv. squeal!!! Chinese TV.

The rom/coms are sweet and 'pure'. Okay. I'm realistic. This is not a reflection of real life on any planet. But the innocence of the early 1950s programs is there. Similar to Disney's 'Summer Magic'. I'm happy with those dramas that remind me of thati nnocence. I have found a few dramas that shared more than I cared for, and I do enjoy an occasional 'romp'. But I've always preferred the Lady and Gentleman characters.

And watching these programs have reminded me of those fairy tales and legends from my childhood that had been sprinkled with the Occasional Oriental myth, legend, and children's tale.

Then I remembered my FIRST historical legend. "The White Stag" by Kate Seredy, is the tale of Atilla the Hun!

I recently found a copy of that book and am waiting for a quiet time, when the power is out and there's nothing to do. Then I will use one of the many flashlights I bought for a huge hurricane, and relax on the sofa beneath an open window and read this legend once again. I live in Florida. The odds of this happening increases as the summer progresses. I can't wait to learn if my memory of this tale of Atilla the Hun remained true, or has been distorted in the last half of a century.

Most of the tales that I write involve space adventures, the occasioanl ghost, and encounters with fairies, the evil ones, not the romantic ideal fairy. smh

I've never been very good with romance or comedy. But thanks to the recent influence of the Asian productions, I have re-formatted one of my dark adventures and turned it into a rom/com.

I love a good joke, but very seldom get the point or see the humor. And I can NEVER remember the punch line if I try to share a joke. My family have said they will write on my tombstone --

"I don't remember the punchline ... but it was funny."

But as I write humorous lines or events I find myself laughing. Or crying at sad events. And I am all 'giggly' when I write what is supposed to be innocent romance between a young and shy couple. But I have never felt that my own reactions were a true guide to how the story might come across to a 'reader'.

As it happens, I have two sisters younger than I am. My middle sister is bored easily and immediately redirects our conversation to something about 'her'. Okay. I understand. She is lonely, needy, and maybe a bit selfish? Not judging. She's the 'middle child' and that's her excuse. ROFL..

But the youngest sister is my greatest fan who declares that I am an awesome writer. "I love you, sister, dear."

So she visited me last week and patiently listened as I read the first chapter. She listened quietly, and I wondered if I had 'read her to sleep'. sigh. Boring books are often the best sleeping pill. Then I heard her laugh.

Squeals/Dancing/hooting/flying around the room in ecstasy!!

Okay! At least one person has laughed. And she's not that easily 'tickled'.

So, I will always carry on and write. But now I feel that at least I might be following a path strewn with "Black-Eyed-Susans, honeybees, butterflies, and bunnies".

I don't know if anyone will read this, or will enjoy it. I hope so. While sharing bits of my youth, my worries, and my concern about certain ones of my 'stories', I actually had ideas for developing 'new' stories.

I am always amazed when writers say they are 'blocked'. I have only to open my eyes to see a world around me that no one else can envision. I listen to a song, and I'm in a different world, time, planet. A gift from Pawpaw, and Mother's DNA.

It is my oldest granddaughter's birthday this month, and I don't know what to give her for her birthday. But when she was younger, she always asked me to tell her a story. I think that I will pull out one of my OLD/ANCIENT tales that I wrote when her dad was her age and make it into a book for her.

p---leia aka Mamma KayeLee

7/19/2020

[eleart2019]

The book of Romeo and Juliet

The book might have been your last communication with me, one I had not the right to answer to. It was notable for one key issue: my total absence from it. Yet the photo on its hardcover was reminiscent of our time together, those three small months. The woman in the picture, although one could not see her face, was me. I was not featured in the book: I WAS I the book. The very texture of it, the life and themes, it was me. Yet you never mentioned me, or our love and that innocence we both possessed. It is true in a sense that we hide what really matters, and I wonder if your wife, who by the way looks exactly like me, even knew of us.

I came to know of your death in a very simple way: you told me. It was evening and I was lying diagonally on my bed; my bedroom cannot be described as pretty, nor does my life. I felt your presence in the room, I suddenly thought of you and it was as if you were there. Did you pay me a visit, that night? I googled your name, something I hadn’t done in a long, long time, and there you were, your death announced as a terrible free diving accident. I thought, you died doing something you loved- and it struck me as peculiar that only a year prior you had published The Book.

It was a collection of stories, imaginary or real, you were teasing your reader into guessing if you were describing something that happened to you or not. But I knew better. You were a surgeon, a successful doctor who treated something called “allux valgus,” bunions in layman terms. Day in day out. You travelled all around Europe and more to bring your science, yet you were an artist at heart: there was a song in you that waited to be written. Your stories kept me glued to the pages. You wrote them in airport stops, long travel and waiting times: those hours where the silence of idleness stopped the masquerade of your life. You, my dear, judged me and cruelly so. You never fully understood my suffering, yet I always understood and justified yours. In death, I know that you forgave me. Did you think of me, when your last breath left you, there in the deep of the sea? Did you see my face? Do you understand, now?

The stories, according to you, were born out of boredom: this is not strictly true. The true reason is revenge. I feared when I knew you had published, because I knew you would find a way to be cruel.

We were a dark version or Romeo and Juliet, where the lovers poison each other with words. In the last conversation we ever had you said I was “acid" because for the first time I stood up to you. You fed on my life and stole my innocence: or, was I doomed anyway? There are so many ways to tell a story.

The first story in your book was about your great passion, freediving, which is where you ultimately found your peace. You had everything in life yet there is a sense of something missing, something you cannot even quite describe. In this story reality blends with fiction. Freediving into the beautiful sea of southern Italy is a metaphor for diving into your subconscious, reaching the dangerous boundary of madness: the diver runs out of oxygen and something happens down there, you speak to Azzurra whoever she is. I think this is somewhat ironic. I wonder what happened down there, when you really run out of breath - when I read the news I even thought you may have done it on purpose. Perhaps your unhappiness was more well hidden than we all thought.

Another story was about you on the operating table, your job, "a job like any other, " you write " with the potential to become routine and boring." You hated routine, that’s why you needed all your little adventures: freediving, free climbing, running - but you were trapped in a golden cage of bunions to repair. And that’s what you did, day in day out. The story describes how during one of your surgeries you start hallucinating, of all things smelling boar sausages and beans because you are hungry. I tend to believe that this has actually happened. The fact that you have lost all passion for your work is transparent to me, and I feel that you are really not appreciating what life handed to you on a plate. Your father gave you his successful practice and you, admittedly, turned it into something bigger. But you write: "A job like any other, at the end of the day." A cash cow.

The other story was cruel. You describe one if your past loves ( thankfully not me), a biology student turned fat and miserable by the wrong marriage and by impending single-parenthood. "You have eaten a lot, these past years," these are your inner thoughts as you visit her in the old house where you consummated your love and lust. "Sadness and an air of stale bread was in the atmosphere: so long gone was our love, in contrast with your today," you write. Not only there is no compassion for the woman who cheated on you and discarded you for a better fit ( so she thought), you are using these pages to show how far you have come, and how deep she has fallen. You revel in your victory over your past. But my question is, if you are that happy why do you need to do this?

I am really wondering about you and if you were different things to different people. Who were you to your wife? In another story you describe how you fell in love with her land, in southern Italy and how she was everything: not once though you say you love her or you describe what you actually love about her. You see, I notice the small things. You, you married a system, a place, an opportunity. It could have been me: for many reasons, it wasn’t.

I was 15 when we met. To be honest, I had been stalking you for a while, even engeneering a meeting with you through one of your "friends". I don't think though that you had real friends, you were to them, an outsider. You were 23, the dashing young senior in the local scout section. I was so shy about liking you, but I had a massive crash on you. From where I am standing now, I would see this relationship as inappropriate. 7 years difference at that age: you were crazy to even think of me as someone you could date. You could have ended in prison, perhaps you should have: you were my world for 3 months. And then it ended, I think I did, because my mother advised I should. The scouts also felt they could no longer keep you as an example to the younger ones: they simply threw you out of the organisation. At that time, I could not totally appreciate why.

I felt free in the beginning but then I felt empty. And then as the years passed I tried to look for you in many ways. But this is not the point: I never stopped to look at how you saw this whole thing. You thought I was to blame, or really I was the easiest thing to blame. Truth said, I was a child who had no one, not even you.

I wanted to become a doctor before I met you, after what happened I purposely avoided that, because of you. It’s a shame, I would have had the passion to do that, it would never be routine to me to change a person’s life. Honestly: I think we were poison for each other, like two dystopic Romeo and Juliet.

I don’t fully understand what I feel if anything at all for you. You are long gone and perhaps I too have seemed to find you again and again in any partner I had. Why does your wife look like me? There is perhaps a need to give closure to our story. I feel we began to write it but it was never fully finished and polished. The fact is, I was scared of you in the end. I talked to you a few times over the years, and it was like the curtains had come down on you. It was you, but the person who has those big dreams was there no longer. You had become hard and cynical: I think you stopped believing in love.

And now that It’s all so final, in your premature death, I actually think you died at the right moment, before you could become someone who has lost any trace of humanity. How many women have there been within the sanctity of your marriage? I can see it on your face. I am sure things are different when you see them from spirit, quite sure if that.

The day you died you called your wife, to let her know you would be in for dinner, so said the newspaper. I wonder if it was your way of say I g goodbye. Your friend, who didn't see you come back and called for help, was beyond himself. I would be too. I you were, surprisingly so a very private person. And I know that there are things you never told me too.

[seriestrash]

You Me Her

1 || 2 || 3 ||

Chapter Four: Drama Club

Word Count: 2674

↠ ♥ ↞

After Kai whisks Riley away from Lucas and Maya, he leads her out to the courtyard where they first met that morning. The boy sits himself on an empty table top and rests his feet on the bench seat attached. Riley quietly sits herself adjacent to him at the end of the seat. 

“Back to the scene of the crime..” Riley lets out a nervous giggle. 

“Again I stress, that was not me.” Kai crinkles his nose in disgust at himself. 

“And bursting through doors crying like a weirdo isn’t me either.” Riley tries to make light of it even though she was actually embarrassed. “May I ask why you were out here?” 

“Well considering I already know why you were upset I suppose it’s only fair I share my truth.” Kai sighs. 

Riley deflates a little once she’s reminded how people know her business without her even having to explain it. Still, Riley tries her best to listen respectfully as Kai gives an explanation. 

“I’m in this group chat with the other kids in the drama club and we were discussing auditions for the winter musical- Which is Grease, by the way.” Kai continues. “And I said I was going to audition for Danny Zuko and they laughed at me.”

“Why?” Riley asks cautiously as she had a feeling this could get heated.

“Apparently I look too soft.” Kai says with an eye roll. 

Riley had thought it - not that he wasn’t right for the part - but Kai certainly did have an innocent look about him. In the short time Riley’s known Kai, she realises looks certainly don’t describe a person, not this person anyway. Even though there were in the same year level Kai was never on Riley’s radar so that morning was really the first time she’s processed his existence. At first glance Riley got immediate shy guy vibes from him. He had that soft and pure look to him that the other drama club members mentioned. After Kai handed her a tissue out in the courtyard Riley felt a kindness from him and when he whisked Riley away in the hall moments earlier Riley sensed a protective nature. In the conversation that follows and many more after this day Riley realises just how the opposite Kai is to how he looks. It’s not that he isn’t pure it’s just that he’s confident, bubbly and so personable. Definitely not shy. Riley can’t believe how many people he knows. It has her questioning her own friend group and Riley wonders if it was healthy how consumed she was with so little people but then she thinks about quality over quantity and ends up on a thought spiral for hours. 

“So I came out here to prove to them I wasn’t soft.” Kai continued. 

Riley nods along as he speaks, not saying much herself. 

“What do you think?” Kai asks. “Do you think I’m soft?” 

“Ugh..” Riley isn’t exactly how to answer without offending the boy.

“Oh my god you think I’m soft!” Kai groans. 

“No, no, it’s not that!” Riley scrambles quickly. “If I’m being honest you do have a... sweet... look about you but it’s acting. How can anyone say you’re not able to play a part?” 

“Thank you!” Kai exclaims. “It’s not like I’d wear my glasses and snort on stage. I’d be in costume acting like Danny.” 

“Exactly!” Riley nods with a smile. “I say you quit the teen rebel act and put that energy into your audition.” 

“I knew this friend thing was a good idea.” Kai wears a wide grin. “Now, you’ve got the ‘too pure to be pink’ part down so I think we should work on the ‘You’re the one that I want’ Sandy.” Kai eyes Riley.

Riley squints at him wondering if Kai realises he’s just used the same sort of remark on Riley that offended him in the first place and as if he read her mind because Kai mumbles an explanation how he means it positively. Like she’s already nice so they didn’t need to work on that aspect of the roll. Either way Riley wasn’t offended but more so shocked at what Kai was suggesting. 

“You think I should audition for Sandy?” Riley gives him a quizzical look. 

“Did you want to be Rizzo or someone else?” Kai is confused at her shock. 

“They’re a bit.. I don’t know.. Major rolls?” Riley laughs nervously. 

“Your point?” Kai coaxes his head. “You audition for the main and then if you get something smaller you get something smaller.” 

“I can’t be Sandy.” Riley shakes her head. 

“Why not?” Kai questions.

“Well for starters I have brown hair...” Riley scrambles nervously. “Sandy’s blonde.”

“Riley please, it’s 2017, I could audition for Sandy.” Kai chuckles. “I don’t think being a brunette will hurt your chances.” 

“I don’t know.” Riley shakes her head.

"Have you ever acted before?” Kai questions. 

“I played Juliet in Romeo and Juliet back in middle school... But that turned out to be a disaster.” Both the play and the promise that Lucas made her after it.

“We could do a joint audition!” Kai beams. “That way you’d be less nervous having a friend up there with you! We could be Abigail Adam’s very own Danny and Sandy... You know if Danny was more interested in sleeping with Kenickie.” 

Riley lets out a soft and genuine giggle which makes Kai smile. “So you’ll be my audition partner?” Kai asks. 

Riley’s just about to nod when another doubtful thought flows into her mind. “Grease is a musical... I don’t sing.” 

“There’s a difference between don’t and won’t.” Kai says with a crooked smile. “We can work that out together.” 

Riley nods finally. “So you don’t think I should start small? Maybe go for a minor roll or something?” 

“You’re Juliet, Riley.” Kai holds her gaze. “You’re not.. Capulet number five.” 

Kai was so encouraging of Riley and they were practically strangers but his terminology like calling her his friend after five seconds of knowing each other was so inviting and it really made Riley feel good about things too. 

It’s clear to Riley that the play is important to Kai and he’s placed faith in her with their audition, something of such monumental importance. Something about Kai- Everything about Kai, his confidence, kindness and blind faith in Riley saw her taking her own leap of faith and actively agreeing to audition with him for the lead rolls. 

After the new friendship was born it was only three days until auditions for the musical so the two teens worked religiously on their lines together every afternoon. Kai quickly deducted Riley was more of a ‘won't than don't’ in regards to singing so he helped her loosen up and they had fun with the songs. 

The two watched the movie three times over for ‘research' and each time they’d end up bouncing on Riley’s bed singing the tongue twister of a final song over and over for practice. Three days with Kai and Riley was back to her giggly self. Given, any moment of Riley’s spare time was poured into her new friendship which really took her mind off other pressing issues.  

Riley is quite trusting and easily places her faith in new people. This isn’t always a good thing as it can turn out negatively for her but Riley’s newfound friendship with Kai was anything but negative as her faith was put in possibly the best person she could and as time would tell Riley had made a lifelong friend in Kai. 

The afternoon of the audition arrives and Riley nervously finds a seat in the auditorium. Kai is busy as an existing member of the drama club. He and the other nine students - a few from each grade - were all given jobs by Ms. Mitchell - the drama club teacher - to ensure the auditions ran smoothly.   

Riley sits anxiously in her seat and watches as student after student takes the stage. Riley believes each one to be a hundred times better than her. Fifteen minutes in Riley is approached by someone.

“Is this seat taken?” He asks quietly not wanting to interrupt the audition process.

Riley smiles softly at the boy and motions for him to take the seat. The whisper belonged to Noah Pearson a boy in Riley’s year level. She knew him from her English class although they’d never actually spoken. Noah is intimidatingly good looking and also a star player on the football team despite only being a freshman. Had Riley of not seen him around school before she might have been nervous in his presence but Riley had first hand witnessed his kind nature so she felt instantly at ease with him.

“So, are you auditioning or just spectating?” Noah whispers.

“Auditioning... Regretfully.” Riley lets out a quiet and nervous chuckle.

“I’m sure you’ll be great.” Noah gives her a warm grin. “Your English speeches are always so effortless and captivating.

Noah’s short but kind statement boosted her confidence entirely. “Thank you.” She whispers back. “What about you, are you watching or auditioning?” 

“Watching of course!” He giggles nervously. “You’ve seen me stutter through my speeches in class. Performing isn’t really my thing.” 

Before Riley could attempt to build his confidence, Ms. Mitchell calls a short intermission and Kai approaches Riley to tell her they’re on next but when he spots Noah he scrunches his face into a scowl.

“What are you doing here?” Kai snaps. “You and your football pals here to make fun of the drama geeks?”

“Kai!” Riley frowns at him.

“I was just watching.” Noah says sheepishly. 

After another moment of awkwardness goes by Noah decides to leave and Kai’s scowl follows him on the way out. 

“Kai that was mean.” Riley continues her frown. 

“I’m looking out for you, Ri.” Kai takes the seat previously occupied by Noah. 

“I don’t understand... Noah was being nice?” Riley knits her brows together. 

“Probably because he wants to get in your pants.” Kai crosses his arms. 

“He wants to what?” Riley squeaks. 

“Oh my sweet, Riley,” Kai gently strokes Riley’s shoulder. “Ever since word got out that you’re officially single it’s like you’ve become every meatheads main target.” 

Before Riley could process Kai’s statement or question it further Ms. Mitchell is calling them both up to stage. Riley takes a few deep breaths and tries to remember the confidence that Noah’s words instilled in her. Although, any of the bravery she found washes away the moment Riley steps on stage as she witnesses Maya and Lucas slip into two seats at the back of the auditorium. They were only there to show support to their friend but the surprise certainly shook Riley into fumbling her audition. Kai held his own and tried his best to help Riley though her parts.

After practicing for three days Riley knew Kai had all the potential to be Danny Zuko but ultimately the mediocre audition landed Kai as Putzie and Riley as Jan. The minor roll made Riley feel more comfortable about the play but she still felt horrible about ruining Kai’s bigger goals and she continuously apologises for it. Kai was anything but mad and he brushed off her apologies every time, assuring Riley that he knew the part of Danny was always going to go to someone older and that he was still a T-Bird so he could stick it to the bitches in the drama club that said he wass more suited for Eugene. 

Somehow Kai manages to turn Riley’s complete frustration about it all into a positive and he even convinces the brunette to join the drama club. Kai is quick to give Riley a rundown of each member. He concludes that six of the nine students that weren’t him were indeed snooty and not worth her time and the three others - including himself - were pretty cool. With this in mind Riley still goes in trying to eliminate preconceptions of the other students and give them all a fair chance. Still, Riley also concludes that six of the ten - now eleven - drama club members were also not really her crowd. Maybe it was the fact that the other members were freshmen so they didn’t have a sense of higher importance than the ‘snooty’ students but whatever it was about the other three they certainly made Riley feel welcome.

After the announcement of the rolls the rehearsals began immediately as the play was set to open in one month. So again all Riley’s free time is sucked into the production. Also, with the play came the expectation that Riley spend more time with the drama club so at lunch and after school Riley found herself having less time to hang around her friends as she was trying to build new friendships with these kids. A process that is bittersweet for Riley. On one hand she felt happy in the new environment and it got her away from having to watch Lucas and Maya be, well, Lucas and Maya but on the other hand Riley missed them. Another thing that goes in circles for the quirky teen as she spends time away from them and longs to be with them but when she does eventually hang out with them she slips into her down mood and longs to be anywhere but there.

Riley is known to have a dramatic flare with her over the top reactions and neurotic thinking when it comes to certain situations. Sometimes this trait is seen as cute amongst her friends but she’s not oblivious to the fact that sometimes she can be ‘too much’ for them so she has tried her best to be more rational about things. Although, Kai encourages this part of Riley and he basks in every bit of her wacky reactions. Hanging around Kai made Riley feel special and ultimately happy so naturally she wanted to spend more time with him. At first Riley sticks to her whole stance about how she’s unaffected by Lucas and Maya even though Kai had seen her crying about it but still he smiles along and sticks to the trivial stuff with her but eventually Riley opens up to him and their lines of communication are opened completely and there isn’t anything the two couldn’t discuss with each other. 

Having Kai and the drama club was a perfect out for Riley and she felt bad for thinking of it as that. She felt bad that she wanted to escape her friends but she also felt like she was using the drama club and Kai. Kai knew this and he encouraged her to use him whenever she wanted because he truly cared about her emotional state and he knew how she overthought it all. They were friends now and she’s supposed to use him and he was happy to be used in anyway she needed. 

Eventually it wasn’t an excuse anymore, Riley found herself wanting to be with them and it made her feel guilty when she thought it over at night in bed. Riley knew it wasn’t her friends fault and she’d never want to pass blame onto them but Riley couldn’t help but feel so down whenever she’s with them.  Riley thought maybe it was her fault for more reasons than one but the main being that she created a fairytale scenario for all of them which made reality hard to live up to. With that being said Riley’s mood was being uplifted by her new drama pals and it left Riley feeling that she could be happy in all aspects of life including the one with her her original friend group. 

Just as Riley’s working out a healthy balance between the two, one spills into the other before she’s ready and Riley realises that as much as she hopes for it to be different sometimes hope isn’t enough because other feelings are stronger. Riley realises that hope isn’t the most powerful thing in the world because sometimes other feelings can be stronger. 

↠ ♥ ↞

End Notes: Firstly, sorry this chapter took so long! I was trying to rejig it and yeah blah blah. 

Secondly, I hope it’s not a cruddy chapter as I’m trying to build the other journey Riley’s about to take with new people in her life. The last paragraph may be vague and confusing but next chapter is when her two worlds collide as we embark into Riley’s sophomore year. 

The next two chapters after this are very Lucas x Maya x Riley based so stay tuned! This story is more than Lucas choosing Maya and then wanting to be with Riley. It’s a journey about Riley and her growth after ski lodge. Each chapter are important parts of that journey. This chapter being the friendship established between Riley and Kai. 

As always I appreciate any feedback given! I hope you’re enjoying thus far. I know I said it was a trial period but I’m pretty invested in the story now so hopefully you stick with me :) x

[datesfordummies]

Just because 1-65 you don't need to do them all if you don't want to

challenge accepted.

but just remember, you asked for it.

1: Do you have a crush at the moment?

yeahhhh #mountainman

2: Have you ever been deeply in love?

not romantically but i do have a crazy deep amount of love for my friends and dog. does that count?

3: Longest relationship you’ve ever been in?

3 months

4: Have you ever changed for someone?

I think I’ve gone along with things that I wasn’t totally a fan of for someone. Also, I’ve tried new things to impress someone else but lucky me I ended up liking those new things a lot

5: How is your relationship with your ex?

My last actually ex, we don’t talk. My most recent thing tho was a summer fling and we’re still friends!

6: Have you ever been cheated on?

not that I know of…

7: Have you ever cheated?

nope!

8: Would you date someone who’s well known for cheating?

probably not. like i’d have to really really really like them and know that they really really really liked me

9: What’s the most important part of a relationship?

being happy with each other

10: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?

serious relationships. flings are just consolation prizes when college and summer camps and other such things limit the time together.

11: When you are dating someone do you believe in going on “breaks”?

not really. unless maybe i would get it for like temporary long distance, ya know? like when we are in college we date, when we go home for holidays we go on a break. but idk, i’d have to trust them.

12: How many people have you ever hooked up with?

just 1 :)

13: What’s one thing you regret saying/doing in a previous relationship?

my first boyfriend i know nothing about. all we did was makeout and he was very pro-pda and i was not but i was not yet pro-speaking up for myself sooo i kinda got a reputation from that relationship that followed me all the way thru high school

14: What age do you think is appropriate for kids to start having sex?

i don’t know that there’s an age. like teens at least. but, when you are mature enough to talk about it with the actual sex words like penis and vagina without getting squeemish then you’re ready

15: Do you believe in the phrase “age is just a number”?

yeahhh #mountainman #14years…oops

16: Do you believe in “love at first sight”?

nahhh, but lust yes

17: Do you believe it’s possible to fall in love on the internet?

yeah! love is 1. a choice 2. an emotions thing and emotions can be conveyed thru the internet (also god bless skype y’all)18: What do you consider a deal breaker?

mean to strangers and like employees/ wait staff. like just don’t be an asshole.

19: How do you know it’s time to end a relationship?

i don’t have a set rule…i can just kinda sense a shift in the energy between us. is that too hippy-dippy bullshit of an answer??

20: Are you currently in a relationship?

nahhh #lookinatyamountainman

21: Do you think people who have dated can stay friends?

of course! i don’t see why not, given it was a mutual split. after sometime, come back and be buddies!

22: Do you think people should date their friends?

if they like their friends then yeahhh

23: How many relationships have you had?

really real relationships? 1

24: Do you think love can last forever?

since i strongly believe we choose to love people then yes, if you care enough to stick it out

25: Do you believe love can conquer all things?

i don’t see why not?

26: Would you break up with someone your parents didn’t approve of?

nahhhh

27: If you could go back in time and give yourself one piece of advice about dating what would it be?

communicate ya feelins!!!!28: Do you think long distance relationships can work?

yeahhh, it takes work but if they’re worth it then yeahhhhhhhh

29: What do you notice first about another person?

hair usually

30: Are you straight, bi, gay or pansexual?

straight

31: Would it bother you if your partner suffered from any mental illness?

nahhh

32: Have you ever been in an abusive relationship?

not romantically?

33: Do you want to get married one day?

it’s not a goal of mine. like i’m happy if i never do. i’m happy if i love someone enough and it feels right and i do.

34: What do you think about getting your partner’s name tattooed?

noooo don’t do itttt like love can last forever, but it could end in an unforseen break up sooo yeahhh nahhhh

tips from mountain man: only get name tattoos of your own kids or dead relatives.

35: Could you be in a relationship without sex?

yeahhh my sex drive is low af actually

36: Are you still a virgin?

depends on your definiton of sex. like i say i’m not bc i’ve recived oral but i’ve never even touched another person’s genitalia actually ((is this oversharing??))

37: What’s more important: Looks or personality?

personality!! i feel people start to look like how they act the more you get to know them

38: Do you enjoy love films?

yessss. my favorite is An American in Paris

39: Have you ever given anyone/received roses?

i got a rose today from my friend! and sometimes i get them after plays that i’m in from my wonderful fam and buddies. and i have also given them to my buddies. never romantically tho.

40: Have you ever had a valentine?

nahhhh

41: What’s your imagination of a “perfect date”?

we take our dogs to the dog park (bc they’d have a dog let’s be real) then get tacos and smoothies and sit somewhere to watch the sunset

42: Have you ever read “Romeo & Juliet”?

yeahhhh #hamletisbetter43: What’s more important: Your partner or your friends?

friends are ride or die so…yeahhhh

44: Would you consider yourself “romantic”?

i can be. i mean, you’ve all seen my blog sooo

45: Could you imagine to date one of your current friends?

my close friends no but like one of my side friends maybeee, i had a fling with one of them so yeahhh i would date him.

46: Have you ever been “friendzoned”?

yeahhh but he’s like my dad now

just to clarify: not my actual dad. he’s just the dad of our friend group so we call him that.

47: Which “famous couple” is your favorite?

if the obamas don’t count then i’m not participating.

48: What’s your favorite love song?

That’s All by Nat King Cole i think

49: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

yeahhhh i still feel guilty to this day

50: If you’re single, why do you think you are?

i keep comparing everyone i meet to a wonderful man who probably sees me as like a child #mountainadult

51: Would you rather date someone who’s rich but a douchebag or someone who’s poor but a nice guy?

poor and a nice guy

52: Are you good at giving other people advices regarding dating/ relationships?

nahhh the absolute worst, right guys???

53: Are you jealous of couples when you’re single?

only when they’re like super duper cute like my friend’s bf just posted this really great pic of her on insta and said ‘just an appreciation post bc i’ve never been so happy’ and like when will i ever??

54: How important is it to make a relationship official (p.e. on facebook)?

not that important. like make it official in ur hearts don’t worry about fb.

55: Would you consider yourself “clingy”, “overly attached” or “jealous”?

i don’t think so?

56: Have you ever “destroyed” a relationship?

no?

57: Do you think it’s silly to consider suicide because of a broken heart?

i won’t say silly but also don’t do it because i love you and that’s just one of sooooo many eligible people who would love ya wayyy better

58: Are you the “dominant” or the “submissive” part in a relationship?

i like balance but i’m probably more sub by nature like i’m super passive and like follow other’s flow

59: Have you ever forgotten important dates like your partner’s birthday or your anniversary?

i ALMOST forgot a birthday and ended up making brownies at like 3am the night before

60: What’s your opinion on open relationships?

not for me but if it’s your thang and your partner is down then go for it!

61: Who’s more important: Your partner or your family?

welll family is the og ride or die

62: How do you define “cheating”?

physically being/ go on a date with or attempting to be with another person when you are committed to someone else

63: Is watching porn while being in a relationship inappropriate?

nahhh

64: Do you think Valentine’s Day is overrated?

nahhh, i’ve made it my self love day (although that’s kinda everyday for me)

65: Would you consider yourself a “cuddler”?

i used to hate it but it’s actually my job now like i go to people’s homes and cuddle with them as a form of therapy so yeahhh

thanks for asking and ya the real mvp if you read all of those!

anyone who wants to answer all or some do it! and tag me so i can know all of your secrets!

[jixiani]

In defense of fanfiction

I’ve been thinking about fanfiction lately, (really I’ve been thinking that I should really be taking some of this time to write more, but that’s another post) AO3 just had their yearly fundraiser so of course the old discourse over the site and its history was dragged up again and then Sarah had brought it up this morning and well, I have a lot of strong feelings on the subject. Let’s start with a little personal background: I have been reading and writing fanfic since the late 90’s. It started out as something silly my best friend introduced me to and we would sit in her mother’s computer room and giggle over ‘speculative fan fictions’ and participate on months-long roleplay scenarios on chat boards and take turns passing notebooks full of handwritten stories back and forth which were every bit as terrible as you’d think two 14-year-old girls could come up with. Unfortunately, we were in the Vampire Chronicles fandom so we had a front-row seat for the Anne Rice and her lawyer's debacle that will from here on out be referred to as “The Dark Times”. We watched our friends’ work get pulled, our RP sites close down, we feared that we’d get a cease and desist letter, we hid our notebooks and dreamed up our stories exclusively verbally.  I was deeply ashamed of my secret love of fanfic for years. I kept writing, but I kept it secret, I kept reading it but would never admit to it. Fanfiction was something shameful, taboo, some terrible sin akin to watching porn, and not the good socially acceptable kind of porn. But time moved on and fandom moved on and fanfiction started to be more acceptable. I joined Fanfiction.net, I wrote some stuff on Livejournal (although I still kept it set to private). I read A LOT of fanfiction, jumping fandoms, and leaving reviews. People I admired came out as liking and writing fanfiction. Of course, then the purges hit. Strikethrough and the like. I’m not going to get into that here, because that’s a rant all its own. Anyway, those were also some dark days as fandom searched for somewhere to land. I stumbled over Archive of our own a few years ago and I aggressively support them whenever I can because they fight for the fandom. Now I speak out in defense of fanfiction whenever possible. I’ve attended panels at conventions about fanfiction, I support and share posts about it from my favorite authors, I let everyone know that I’m proud of my fanfic (although I still don’t post it, that’s because I tend not to finish things and I don't’ want to get someone excited for something I know I’m going to abandon in a month, not because I’m ashamed.). So let’s talk over some points because Sarah brought up a good point today. Why is fanfiction such a shameful thing in the fandom community, and in the writing community? One of the people on my friends list who I admire and is a professional, published author once rolled their eyes and scoffed when I said that I wanted to go to the fanfiction panel at a convention. Yet, no other facet of fandom is treated this way. I brought this up on Sarah’s post and I’m going to reiterate it here. Fan artists are not scoffed at, people flock to their tables in artist’s alley. Fan-made comics and doujinshi have led to careers writing and drawing comics and scripts for the same series their fanwork was based on. No professional costumer or prop maker sneers at cosplayers, in fact, there are now professional cosplayers. Fans wait in line for hours to watch masquerade skits at conventions. Fan-dubs like Dragonball Z Abridged and Nescaflowne are hugely popular and have led to professional voice acting gigs and production studios. But if an author dares to mention that they got their start in fanfiction? The horror, the outrage, the hate mail. Yet so much of our media could arguably be called fanfiction. Dante’s Inferno? John Milton’s Paradise Lost? The Aeneid? Classics? Yes. Fanfiction? Also yes. Joyce’s Ulysses is just an AU of the Odyssey. Anything written about or based on myths? Anything involving King Arthur? Sherlock Holmes? Shakespear...Oh you can cry adaptation all you want. Let’s face it if it’s written by some old white guy it’s literature and a classic and an innovative reimagining but really it’s just fanfic and it’s everywhere. West Side Story is a fanfic of a fanfic since Shakespeare based Romeo and Juliet off a poem by a similar name. My Fair Lady? Pygmalion AU. Hamilton? Real Person Song Fic! 50 Shades series, Mortal Instruments, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, Jean Rhys' Wide Sargasso Sea, hell there are literally hundreds of published Jane Austen fanfictions. John Gardner’s Grendel is a retelling of Beowolf. The Wiz, Wicked and the rest of Gregory Maguire’s books? The Wizard of Oz doesn’t enter public domain until 2035. The Magnificent Seven? Kurosawa called and he wants his seven samurai back, he’d also like to reclaim Yojimbo from A Fist Full of Dollars. Speaking of tv, how about Black Sails? It’s a fanfiction prequel to Treasure Island. Any comic book not written by the original creator. Any book series based on Star Wars, Star Trek, Dungeons and Dragons, World of Warcraft, etc. I could go on all day. So why is it, when so much of our popular culture consists of what basically boils down to fanfiction, that fanfiction is seen as a shameful indulgence, as “cheating”, as trash?Part of it boils down to sex. Read any article that brings up fanfiction and there will invariably be a line where the author distances themself by saying something along the lines of they don’t personally read it, or how slash fic isn’t their thing but to each their own. (Both quotes from some of the sites I pulled the above list from) A lot of people seem to think that fanfiction is just porn, and while yes there is some fanfiction that is porn and some of it is very good, the same can be said for regular fiction as well. People don’t blush and giggle over Lord of the Rings, yet when I say that I’ve read fanfic that’s longer than Tolkien’s trilogy I may as well be talking about how I read Aragorn/Boromir slash fic regardless of what the actual subject matter was.  Yes, there’s sex in fanfiction. A lot of it is gay sex. You can read Lolita in school but Harry Potter fanfic? Gasp, think of the children! Even if that fanfic happens to be about what if Petunia loved Harry like a son instead of pushing him away and neglecting him. There is some really fantastic fan fiction out there. Some of it has sex, some of it doesn't. Some of it deals with queer characters and experiences, some of it doesn’t. There’s nothing inherently wrong with erotica and it’s an entirely separate issue. Not every fanfiction is a 50 Shades-eque erotic rewrite of Twilight, and even if they were, so what?  A lot of fanfiction has to do with wish fulfillment. You want to know what happens next, or what would happen if this had happened instead, or if there was this character. You want to see someone like you in your favorite fandom. I had wanted to adventure with Bilbo when I was a kid. I wanted to go on adventures and fight and ride dinosaurs. These desires don’t go away just because we grow up. I got into roleplay and larp and gaming because I still enjoy make-believe. I write for a lot of the same reasons. Everyone wants to be the main character. Fanfiction gives you that chance. You can write yourself into a story, you can write someone that’s like you, you can write someone that’s nothing like you but what you want to be. So, let’s discuss our old friend Mary Sue. She gets trotted out as an example every time someone brings up fanfiction (or any uppity female character ever). Mary Sue was born in the 60’s. She is an actual character from a Star Trek Original Series fanfiction. Yes, fanfiction existed in the 60’s. Mary Sue was the brightest and prettiest girl to come out of Starfleet, she managed to be in all the right places at the right times to save the ship and capture the heart of Spock. Self insert fics and Mary Sues are at the heart of why we should be terribly ashamed of our fanfiction habit. Except, what was Luke Skywalker if not George Lucas’ self insert Marty Stu? There are countless male characters that are as bad or worse than your typical Mary sue and they are never called out for it. Seanan brought this up in a post once about her character October Daye, her editor had said that the character was too competent, too cool, and that it was unrealistic and she should tone it down. She had him replace the character’s name with “Harry Dresden” and reread the story and suddenly it was fine. There are a great many articles and essays about our friend Mary Sue and I implore you to read some of them. She is not the enemy we make her out to be. Fanfiction, on the rare occasion that it is accepted, is seen as some sort of training wheels, or baby’s first writing. It’s amateurish, it’s juvenile, it’s just not very good. If we are not ashamed of it, then it’s expected that we are only using it as a starting point to hone our writing and move on to professional published works. It’s either that or something terribly self-indulgent that should be kept to ourselves. Some fanfic writers do go on to become “real” writers. Seanan McGuire has always been very open about how her agent first approached her after reading some of her Buffy/Faith fanfiction. Some “real” writers also write fanfiction. Neil Gaiman won a Hugo for his Chronicles of Narnia Fanfic. Ursula Vernon and Mercedes Lackey write fanfiction in their spare time. Some fanfiction writers never become published authors, not everyone wants to. Some are happy to have a dozen 150k fics about their favorite fandom, or maybe just one 500k epic, some, myself included, may only have one short fic posted somewhere. There is nothing that says that you have to use your hobby to turn a profit. (By the way, for reference, War and Peace is 561,304 words, Dune is 187,240 words, you cannot make the argument that fanfic writers don’t put time into their craft when they have more words than Tolstoy under their belt.)Some of the ‘training wheels’ analogy is true. Fanfic is a terrific gateway to writing. It teaches pacing, plot, character development, how to take criticism. If I ever do write something professionally I will not be nearly as afraid of the red pen as I am of bad reviews. Anonymous readers are the most ruthless critics. May the literary gods preserve you from ever having your fanfic read aloud as an example of how terrible and ‘cringy’ fanfiction can be. There is a lot of fanfiction out there that is written by teenage girls, and it reads like it was written by a teenage girl, but the only way to get better at something is to practice. Fanfiction allows budding writers to do that. There are no rules, no one standing at the gates to bar entry, and entire communities of people willing to give advice and commentary. Sometimes it’s less helpful than harmful, but there is something about posting a new fic and waiting for that first ‘like’ or ‘kudos’ or a review. There’s something to be said for instant gratification. I have read a lot of really terrible fanfic. I have slogged through stuff that would make Mary Sue herself cringe. I have read about the ½ vampire, ½ werewolf, ½ fairy long lost princess. I have read grammar that would make your eyes bleed. Not all of it has been confined to fan works. I have read fanwork that has had me convulsing with silent laughter to the point that I wondered if I would die. Dialog that was ten times better than anything I had read in a professional novel. Fanfiction should not be judged by its worst offenders. We don’t hold Dune to the same standard as Twilight. Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is not terrible and cringy because 50 Shades of Grey overuses the phrase “Oh my.” There is some absolutely terrible fanfic out there and there is some pretty terrible published fic as well, but we don’t hold that against most novelists, so why do we hold it against fanfiction writers?I guess that brings us to the elephant in the fandom. Sexism. Fanfiction has historically been something written by and for young women and there is nothing more shameful than something liked by a young woman. Boybands? The color pink? Horse Girl books and Sparkly Vampires? Society hates them. We mock them. It is not acceptable to enjoy them. Sound familiar? How many times is something considered cool until a woman decides that she likes it? We as a society hate women and hate the things they enjoy and we hate teenage girls the most. Think of how much people hated selfies and duckface and instagram. How much hate was directed at Britney Spears, One Direction, Taylor Swift and Justin Bieber? Whether it has a basis in something or not, we hate them, we make jokes, we share the memes. We write them off as having no substance, as being stupid, not worth our time. Belittling of teenage girls for their interests and fandoms isn't a new phenomenon. Remember Mary Sue? Not only that, but a lot of fanfiction is gay. Women and gays are still the punchline to a lot of jokes and we can’t ignore that that plays a big part in people’s hatred of fanfiction, even if it’s not on purpose. Fanfiction has always been a bastion for people that couldn’t find stories about them in popular fiction. A lot of mainstream main characters are straight guys. A lot of fanfiction main characters are young women or gay men. Now, I admit that I’m oversimplifying this, and especially in recent years as it is becoming safer for people to come out as other genders and queer and as having mental illness or not being neurotypical, you are seeing more of that reflected in the fanfiction community. I don’t want anyone to think that I am purposefully leaving anyone out of this. The fanfiction community has not always been so great at being inclusive of people of color or transgender, it’s getting better, but I’m not going to stand here and pretend we’ve always been perfect. In the last several years I’ve seen a lot more inclusion. As I said, fanfiction has always been a home to the “Other”, as that expands to include more individuals so too does the community. Fanfics provide us with a place to work through issues and present perspectives that we don’t get to see anywhere else, without having to create an entire world from scratch. It’s accessible to everyone. I’ve spent the better part of an afternoon researching and writing this. I hope that I was at least partially coherent and I got you to at least take a look at why you feel the way you feel about fanfiction. I’m not sure if I exactly got across the points I was trying for, there’s a lot more eloquent, well thought out arguments out there from more knowledgeable people. Check out Seanan McGuire, she’s got a lot to say on the subject.

[passportandplates]

Disclosure: I was a complimentary guest of Sigulda Tourism and the Investment and Development Agency during my time here. All opinions and recommendations are my own. This post also contains affiliate links.

I’ve been on a roll with surprising destinations lately. I told myself I would make 2017 the year I explored lesser-visited destinations, and I took that promise particularly seriously in May. I started by traveling Estonia and Romania and ended my whirlwind adventure on a strong note in Latvia.

Rather than start my trip in Riga, Latvia’s capital, Chantell from Adoration 4 Adventure and I decided to head straight to the charming countryside town of Sigulda.

Although it’s located just an hour outside of Riga by train, Sigulda feels a world away, a charming town surrounded by gorgeous greenery and adventure activities. The scenery is seriously drool-worthy. So while many people choose to visit Sigulda as a day trip from Riga, I recommend spending a couple of days here instead. For nature and adventure lovers, this is the true way to experience all the wonderful things to do in Sigulda.

  Best Things To Do in Sigulda:

Learn about Olympic history at the Bobsleigh and Luge Track

Fun fact: Latvians are excellent at the luge, bobsleigh, and skeleton, and Sigulda is home to the giant track where the Olympians train. The country has won a significant number of medals in these sports and Sigulda has hosted numerous championships over the years.

So, what’s so cool about this track anyway? Well, not only is it over 1200 meters long, but it’s also six floors high. It’s one of the only tracks in the world that’s open to the public, where visitors can either walk down the track…or do a little bobsleighing of their own. They offer both summer and winter bobsleighing here, with sleds reaching speeds of 80-85 km (~50 miles) per hour! How’s that for a dose of adrenaline?

  Get in touch with your inner child at Adventure Park Tarzans

I’m not going to lie – I was a tad bit surprised when we arrived at Adventure Park Tarzans. Not only were there tons of children around, but the park was also HUGE – the largest outdoor adventure park in the Baltics, I later found out.

Despite being a bit of a fraidy cat, I’m also an adrenaline junkie (you can totally be both, right?) so I was super excited when our tour guide Lelde told us we could pick which adventure activity to do. We warmed up a bit with the 40 km (~24 miles) per hour toboggan, winding our way down the track, desperately pulling the brake when it got “too fast.” I should clarify that this was a one person ride, and I was just a tad too brake-happy. Oops.

Afterward, Chantell and I opted to do the Crazy Roller together. It’s essentially a large wheel that rolls up and down a hill. Let’s just say our vocal cords got a little bit of…ahem, exercise. We finished up our adventure excursion with a chairlift back up the hill, which offered beautiful views of the Gauja Valley. This is definitely a side of Sigulda that is not to be missed!

  Channel your princess powers at the castles

Despite being on the smaller side, Sigulda has an impressive THREE castles: Turaida Castle, The Sigulda Castle Complex (including both the Castle of the Livonian Order in Sigulda and Sigulda New Castle) and the Krimulda Historical Centre.

I’ve made this the year I travel to lesser-visited destinations. Last month, @adoration4adventure and I were sponsored guests of @enjoylatvia, and our first stop was the nature and castle-filled town of #Sigulda. I’m a city girl through and through but it was nice to spend a couple of days being one(ish) with nature and pretending to be a princess peering over my balcony at Turaida Castle 👸🏽. Stay tuned for my blog post, coming this week! #enjoylatvia #atklajlatvijunojauna @enjoylatvia

A post shared by Sally • Food & Travel Writer (@passportandplates) on Jun 20, 2017 at 1:50pm PDT

Turaida Castle: To call Turaida a simple castle would be like calling Big Ben a clock. While there’s a beautiful stone castle on the Turaida grounds, it’s actually a museum reserve, containing both an estate and a castle, a large garden, a church and more. One of the most memorable parts of Turaida is easily the Rose of Turaida Memorial, in memory of a Latvian girl who sacrificed her life for love…think of it as the Latvian Romeo and Juliet story, with just as depressing of an ending. Anyway, you can easily spend half a day exploring the Turaida grounds – be sure not to miss the garden with the multi-faced statues.

Livonian Order

New Castle

The Castle of the Livonian Order and Sigulda New Castle are located within walking distance of each other, despite the fact that they look completely different. The Sigulda New Castle was built in 1878 with a distinct Neo-Gothic style whereas the Livonian Order was built in 1207 in a medieval style, initially built to be a fortress. They’re both in the same compound, and you can actually climb up the towers for beautiful views of the surrounding forest. The coolest thing about this area is the stage that was built in the open courtyard; here, they hold outdoor picnics, concerts, and cultural events when the weather is warm. How cool would it be to tell people you’re casually dancing the night away in a castle? #Goals.

  Marvel at the sandstone of Gutman’s Cave

Traipse through the Gauja National Park to get to Gutman’s Cave, the widest and highest cave in the Baltics. It has a ton of cool inscriptions and carvings on the walls, and many claim that the spring water has healing powers. This cave also plays a central role in the tragic Rose of Turaida tale that I linked to above.

  Hike to Krimulda Manor

Views!

This was before all the stairs, obviously!

The Manor

Krimulda is technically Sigulda’s fourth castle although all that remains are a pile of stones, due to its destruction in 1601. Now, the most notable part of the Krimulda grounds is the manor, which has since been transformed into a rehabilitation center. The surrounding complex still has various houses and cottages standing. Plus, the walk from the center to the edge of Krimulda is truly picturesque – we spotted some beautiful paths, river views, the main bridge and even ran into the Walking Stick Park. However, to get up to the Krimulda Manor, you have to “hike” aka climb a TON of stairs. Not only did I wear sandals (not the smartest decision) but I was definitely huffing and puffing my way up all those stairs. My two-week foodie binge while on vacation was definitely catching up to me #SLIGHTregrets.

  Get outdoorsy with Makars

Hello from Latvia! Sponsored by @enjoylatvia: @adoration4adventure and I look like total kayaking pros in this shot but if you watch my Instagram story, you'll see some of the *ahem* detours we took to get to shore 😂. We traveled to Ligatne, a small city outside of #Sigulda, to kayak 6 km through the Gauja River…I'd say we both did well considering we thought we'd be on a sailboat until we arrived 🙊. Thanks to Makara camping for the adventurous day! #enjoylatvia #atklajlatvijunojauna

A post shared by Sally • Food & Travel Writer (@passportandplates) on May 19, 2017 at 3:08pm PDT

Just outside of Sigulda is Ligatne, a small town located on the Gauja River. This was also the location of one of my favorite Sigulda activities: a 6 km kayaking adventure with Makars. Chantell and I totally expected to be on a sailboat (I think we were channeling inner laziness or something) so we were a little surprised when we realized our option was to either canoe or kayak. Nonetheless, we totally enjoyed our kayaking tour…despite the fact that I led us directly into sand on the edges…twice. I’m really dangerous and clumsy with all activities, honestly. Anyway, one of the awesome things about Makars is all the cool outdoor activities they offer. Not only can you kayak and canoe, but you can also do stand-up paddle boarding, camping, safaris, and more.

  Pose for photos at the Walking Stick Park

Walking sticks are a symbol of Sigulda, due to their popularity with hikers. Back in the day, paths were incredibly rough and rocky, so sticks were a necessity. Now, they’re more of a tourist gimmick. Fun fact: they’re symbolically painted in red and green ink because those used to be the only paint colors people had access to during Soviet Times. Anyway, these sticks are so important to the town that they’ve created an entire park around them. It reminds me of a real-life Candyland!

  Other cool things to do (that we missed):

Hiking in Gauja National Park: There are SO many hiking trails in Gauja National Park. While we did a few short ones and leisurely walked through, there are plenty of longer trails for the more intense hikers out there. The park is huge with a variety of activities that can be enjoyed by all ages.

Mežakaķis amusement park: In case Tarzan isn’t enough for you, Mežakaķis offers an obstacle course of various degrees of difficulty that includes lots of physical activities that I would likely fail at. But hey, Sigulda is all about being an adventure destination!

Cable Car over Gauja River: This is an excellent way to see some beautiful views of Sigulda from the top. Romantic ride for 1, anyone?

“Fly” at the Aerodium: The Aerodium is a vertical wind tunnel that allows you to experience what it’s like to free-fall….without actually free falling. It actually looks SUPER fun and I would have 100% done this if I’d had more time in Sigulda!

Bungee jump from a cable car: Yeah, you didn’t misread that. You can bungee jump with an epic view of the Gauja River. They don’t operate every day so be sure to check the website when planning!

  Where to Eat in Sigulda:

Doma

Appetizer at Hotel Sigulda

Main at Hotel Sigulda

Dessert at Hotel Sigulda

Mr. Biskvits

Doma: Doma is the café where farm to table ingredients meet a relaxed ambiance. While their menu is simple, the flavors certainly aren’t. Our dishes exploded with flavor and were perfectly portioned for us to leave full, but not stuffed. Chantell and I shared both the burrito and the home burger, both of which were delicious.

The Restaurant at Hotel Sigulda: I’m going to be honest…I almost never eat at hotel restaurants. In my experience, the food is often mediocre and overpriced. The opposite was true for the restaurant at Hotel Sigulda.The menu was quite extensive and showcased many local Latvian dishes. As guests of the restaurant, we were served an amazing and beautiful three-course meal: dried beef with edible flowers, chicken breast with a turnip puree, and a gingerbread dessert with ice cream. SO. GOOD. Not only was the service exceptional, but they took our dietary restrictions very seriously, which I appreciated. This was by far the best meal I had in Sigulda.

Mr. Biskvits: After several people recommend Mr. Biskvits as a good lunch spot, Chantell and I made it our mission to try it. Unfortunately, we weren’t able to get lunch there because it was SO busy but we did stop by for an afternoon cake and caffeine boost before our train to Riga. Judging by our one slice of cheesecake and how busy it was for lunch, I’d say this is a solid bet as a good spot to eat.

  Where to Stay in Sigulda:

Photo Credit: Chantell from Adoration 4 Adventure

Chantell and I were guests of the lovely Hotel Sigulda. We seriously couldn’t have asked for a better location. It was a 5-minute walk from the train station and had its own delicious restaurant, which I wrote about above. The room was clean and comfortable and the staff was incredibly friendly. Plus, there’s a buffet-style breakfast included as well. Win!

Otherwise, find some great deals below! Booking.com (function(d, sc, u) { var s = d.createElement(sc), p = d.getElementsByTagName(sc)[0]; s.type = 'text/javascript'; s.async = true; s.src = u + '?v=' + (+new Date()); p.parentNode.insertBefore(s,p); })(document, 'script', '//aff.bstatic.com/static/affiliate_base/js/flexiproduct.js');

  Getting Around:

We explored Sigulda both by car and by foot. If you have some extra time in the town, I definitely recommend walking or renting a bike, as both are great ways to see the various sites while enjoying the scenery. If you’re pressed for time (i.e. you’re on a day trip from Riga), then I recommend renting a car for the day or for a couple of days so you can explore without feeling rushed.

While many people opt to only visit Riga, Latvia’s capital, I suggest making time for Sigulda as well. This charming small town has more to offer than meets the eye and is a haven for nature lovers and adventurers. Come for a couple of days or more for a leisurely travel destination.

  Tell me: Do you prefer visiting big cities or smaller towns? Share in the comments below!

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  Best Things to Do in Sigulda, Latvia: Where Nature Meets Adventure Disclosure: I was a complimentary guest of Sigulda Tourism and the Investment and Development Agency…