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harocat · 2 years ago

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(prev anon here. First of all, thank you very much for their sources! It definitely made a bit more at peace. Second, I am very sorry if this goes very long, or if it makes you uncomfortable (feel free to ignore this if it does, I am just kind of venting))

Okay so basically. I finished yoi like a couple of weeks ago and I was so giddy with happiness! (Though there were a few things I could have wished went differently, overall it was such a pleasant, feel good show) HOWEVER I made the mistake of searching for meta on tumblr because I wanted to see what other interpretations were. Because I came across a lot (and I mean A Lot) of posts form when the show aired (2016-18) about people either being disappointed by it being a queerbait/ multiple posts saying it was y//a/o/i fetishizing everything/about how it was just a generally shitty/mediocre show and that it's fandom was delusional or whatever and like. On one hand I do understand that the rep isn't perfect, and that there were various fandom drama that resulted in the wank (namely the crunchyroll award thingy, kubo's confusing interviews(?)) But also it's just. I was obviously not there so I still do not know the full context and it was all OVER years ago and presently, the show is mostly remembered by people with love and nostalgia. But now, I guess I just read too many negative comments about it and I just. Am very upset since I feel like I've lost the happiness the show gave me when I first watched it? I just don't know how to or what to do to like. Not take them seriously?? Obviously people have different opinions, they HAD different opinions but it also feels very draining to read something very, very negative about something you are emotionally connected to. On my first watch, I was almost 100% sure victuuri were canon? (Especially with Yuuri saying he's going to show his love to the world multiple times, and just. The whole show with every episode) and on one hand I get that people wished they could get explicit confirmation, an on screen kiss without it being hidden and everything but I just. I feel so confused and low-key stressed about this, especially since I KNOW all of this discourse is in the past and the fandom doesn't really have any of it now?? And it's been seven years since everything happened and it's over!! But. I just. I saw you've been here right form the start and I really wanted to know if you really had any advice (in lack of a better word) on how to just get over all of this? (Again: please ignore this ask if this is kind of out of nowhere because I am *this* close to chickening out and not sending it fjdgd. But I think I really need to talk about this and put it down because it's bothering me too much:( )

OKAY this is super long. tl;dr corporations and some fans are evil and homophobic, Kubo and Sayo are queens, and YOI is and always will be 100% canon gay.

First and foremost the main reason that the show is remembered largely fondly now and that all those meta about it being queerbait and all are ignored now is because 90% of them were bad faith criticism. There were a fair amount of people who REALLY hated this show, and most of their reasons were pretty petty (seriously I remember them calling themselves the YOI salt squad? lmao)! And they wrote really disingenuous meta that has not stood the test of time because of that. So I know it may be hard and some of their posts might get to you, but do your best to ignore them. They're not done in good faith. They're not done because these people legitimately care about representation. Most of them were done because a show they didn't like was popular and was being heralded as very special. There was actually even a big anti-Kubo movement on 2chan Japan that aimed to basically destroy the popularity of her work and of YOI by doctoring fake tweets, making accusations of plagiarism, etc. Mind, this was not just because of YOI. Before YOI, Kubo did a popular radio show with her best friend, who is one of the most famous trans women in Japan, Mineko Nomachi. She also occasionally discussed lgbtq+ rights in the workplace. You can imagine this annoyed the very conservative users of 2chan.

Secondly, one thing that caused issues in the fandom was mistranslations. There were two translators famous for taking interviews with the creators and basically 'no homo-ing' them. If you ever see translations floating around from Tora on Ice or K@rice, please just ignore them. Even the translations they did that weren't inaccurate, it's not worth digging through the mistranslations to find them. The problem with this ended up being that their mistranslations upset A LOT of people. People ended up really heartbroken over them because YOI and Victuuri meant a lot to them, and though it's mostly ebbed by now, there's still some damage caused by their homophobia.

Just to give perspective, K@rice said that if Victuuri were ever 'confirmed canon' (because according to her, despite making out and getting engaged they weren't canon), she would sell her blu-rays and leave the fandom. Well, I don't know if she sold her blu-rays, but when Otsuka said that quote I linked in the previous ask, where he used the indisputably romantic word 'renai', she did make a post about how 'disappointed' she was and never talked about YOI again. Both of them had a history of doing this in canonically lgbtq+ fandoms before, and have continued to do it in other fandoms since. But yeah, they caused a lot of damage.

Next up, CENSORSHIP.

When Sayo Yamamoto pitched YOI, she couldn't find a studio to take the project on. Although she was considered somewhat of an auteur, neither of the anime she'd made before were hits, and she was trying to sell a show that no one thought that would be popular. Studios that were interested in the project suggested she make it about teenagers in a high school club, which she refused to do. She brought Kubo on to help, and eventually they were able to get Mappa to take the project. At the time Mappa was considered an experimental studio that took on really creative, inventive projects that other studios might consider too risky. Otsuka (Mappa's second in command) at the time thought the show could be a hit, but probably not many other people felt the same. Indeed, there was almost zero buzz for the show before it aired in Japan. They always do big polls for most anticipated anime of the season, and YOI didn't even rank in fall 2016.

So Sayo and Kubo wanted it to be a romance, but Avex (the parent company above Mappa) didn't want this. She had to push for it, and she said that 'all parties' tried to stop her from putting the kiss in, but she insisted. To note, as a woman in the anime industry without any popular shows under her belt, this is hugely badass of her. She and Kubo both could have lost their jobs and lost control of the show they wanted to make so easily. She would NOT compromise. It was amazing of her.

YOI comes out and ends up being like... the biggest hit ever in both Japan and internationally, but while Mappa is pretty happy to embrace the gay (which you see with all the merchandise they directly produce; it's very overtly romantic), Avex gets cold feet (I'm assuming BECAUSE it's so popular). They want this to be a super marketable franchise, but because they are stupid they don't grasp that the romance is part of what makes it that. They stop doing a bunch of magazine spreads of just Victor and Yuuri looking romantic, and start shoving Yurio in there as an awkward third wheel. They try to market the series as a cast of bishounen where you 'pick your fave boy' instead of focusing on what fans are wanting. It's all very messy.

And then, this might not be Avex's fault, but magazine publishers get in on the censorship. In order for YOI art to be accepted in these magazines, they force Mappa artists to remove the rings from Victor and Yuuri's fingers. Although this at first is excused by fans because 'well the rings are spoilers', by a few months post series, fans begin to outcry, and even Japanese fans are growing very angry. One Mappa artist comes forward after the spread she drew is criticized for lack of rings, and says 'she never would have left them off, and that they were there when she submitted the art.' And this is how fans find out what's happening. This happens again when YOI animation director Noriko Ito expresses surprise that the design page for the rings is not included in the YOI setting book released by a publisher, because she knows it was supposed to be in there. The publisher removed it. Later art, as in post 2018, has more often featured the rings, but there's so little of that art that it's hard to know if it would be a permanent thing if YOI ever continued. Plus, that art has been specifically for YOI collabs and merch as opposed to magazine spreads.

After that we find out that Kubo and Sayo are being censored in interviews. Please don't criticize Kubo for being 'vague.' She did the best she could in a situation where she wasn't allowed to talk super explicitly about the romance. We know for a fact that when Kubo and Sayo were interviewed, Avex SPECIFICALLY told interviewers that they were 'not allowed to be asked questions about lgbtq+ aspects of the series.' I know! It's so upsetting. We also found out that Kubo and Sayo brought character designer Tadashi Hiramatsu on the project because they did not think they were being taken seriously as a team of two women (no hate on Hiramatsu though, he's amazing and he totally loves YOI). Avex didn't believe in YOI as a romance, even after it proved so successful. It's the saddest thing on earth.

So the end conclusion is that Kubo, Sayo, and yes Mappa (though I have plenty of criticisms of them now) were pretty cool about YOI. Kubo and Sayo pushed for and wrote a gay romance into a sports anime, something that had never been done before, at constant risk of losing their job and status in the industry. They were badasses and they're both writing heroes of mine because of that, and it actually makes me love YOI more knowing how much they cared and how much they were willing to risk to tell the story they wanted to tell, that of a romance between Victor and Yuuri. And it is a romance, indisputably so, and anyone who disagrees is frankly giving them a slap in the face.

#anonymous #yuri on ice

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jungwnies · 1 year ago

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hello mae! I’m sorry I was a lil mia for a second 🥴

these past few weeks have been nice, a few little bumps every now and then but overall good although i will admit the past few days I’ve been feeling a little sick and ngl it got me and my parents worried so I’m gonna get some blood tests taken during the weekend just to check that everything’s alright and verify that i just probably need some vitamins 🤞🏻🤞🏻

i also went on a walk with my sister the other day and omg i sooo needed that, it even rained a little bit and it was nice, she showed me this street where there’s a whole ass tree in the middle of it like right in the middle (say what now), she found it a couple of months ago on one of her morning walks and has told me about it but i only saw it a couple of days ago and we took some pictures posing in front of it cause this thing was also mASSIVE, not the biggest tree I’ve seen but one of definitely :0

i started korean classes again after two months ish and it’s actually very nice, it helps me keep practicing and studying even if im feeling lazy cause like that was the thing, i could totally study on my own but i just couldn’t (like some people nEED to get a gym membership otherwise they don’t workout, well i need my teacher assigning homework otherwise i won’t do it) ㅠㅠ

i also started journaling a little bit again and it helps a lot so im happy about that ^^

and lastly I’ve been listening to a lot of lana del rey (specifically her nfr album I LOVE ITT 😩😩) and donna missal (her new album “revel” 🤎🤌🏻)

now questions for youuu~

how have you been? how’s life treating you? (honest answers only but feel free to go as deep as you want hehe)

what’s your favorite meal these days? have you drank water today? (if no go now! 😤)

what’s your latest obsession? (any kind of) and lastly, which side of the bed do you sleep on? (very random but im writing this before going to sleep and now im curious, i used to sleep on th right side but now i just stick to the middle and end up on the left lol)

remember to take care of yourself, stretch, drink your liquids, eat your favorite meals/snacks, watch some shows/films, cry if u want to and get some sunlight on you if you can 🫶🏻🫶🏻

i love you maeby baby, have a nice day (and week) im rooting for you!! hehe💓💓

-🧸 anon

i also saw your message about your blood tests coming out okay, which i am so happy about! i wish you nothing but happiness and health omgomgomg.

oh my god, i saw ur message about the swift tickets and im sooo happy for you. i haven't been super active on tumblr, not sure why, just need a break from writing i am BURNT OUT!!! walks are always so refreshing, but in my state its sooo humid i hate walking i feel like bugs stick to my body every time i step outside, but i did go to the beach yesterday (who would've thought...) i am also a gym person who only goes if i have a membership, which is why i haven't gone because i haven't renewed... i AM SO LAZY LMFAO i also loveeee lana del rey, her music is sooo chef's kiss... literally

now to answer your questions :)

how have you been? how’s life treating you? life has notttt been bad recently, a few things here and there piss me off, but that's life??? not ready to start the semester again in september, i am literally dreading it LMFAO!?!?!? but it's okay, i'll stick it through and be successful (hopefully????) i'm going to another state in a few days for vacation so i'm super excited for that, need to get away from home!!!

what’s your favorite meal these days? have you drank water today? my favorite meal definitely has been rice and some sort of meat recently... or pasta!!! i really love carbs tbh, it's awful!?!?!? and yes i've drank some water, but i definitely need more. i appreciate the reminder <3

what’s your latest obsession? jungkook is my latest obsession... jk but also not jk?!?! his song with latto is so good, i was so worried it was going to sound off but i lowkey enjoyed it a lot? but to actually answer ur question i've been obsessed with valorant... i know yikes?!?!? but it's so fun... the last time i played was in like 2021 and i finally got back on and realized how much fun i have playing this game LOL

which side of the bed do you sleep on? i sleep on the left side... it's also the side closest to my door. i don't know why i can't sleep on the right side to be honest... usually i sleep farthest from the door, but i feel most comfortable on the side closest to my door.. but it is also the side closet to the wall LMFAO

remember to take care of yourself, stretch, drink your liquids, eat your favorite meals as well, and catch up on your fave shows and rewatch ur fave movies!! <3333

#🧸 — jungwnies #🧸 anon #🧸#thank you anon #ily anon #📥 jungwnies #𐐪♡︎₊˚ ― jungwnies #jungwnies anons #jungwnies

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primofate · 3 years ago

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Breaking up Part 2 Albedo x gn!reader

Sorry it took so long! Haha. Yeah tumblr effed over for me. But here it is! :D

Scenario: Breaking up and getting back together again

Characters: gn! reader x Albedo

Warnings: angst, break ups, regrets, did I say angst? NOT PROOFREAD

Categories: angst in Part 1, comfort in Part 2 (It was getting too long so split it into two parts)

Read: (Part 1) (Part 3 - Final)

“Sucrose... Do you know where Y/N went?”

5 days 3 hours and 12 minutes. He’d been counting. He’d been counting since you left. It was only today that he had the courage to ask Sucrose about it.

Sucrose jumps at the sudden call of her name.

Albedo had not been the same. The frequent mistakes in the lab proved it. The constant slips of the hand and test tubes shattering on the floor told Sucrose that perhaps that was how his heart looked like too.

“...No, I don’t,” Sucrose simply says, then lets the silence of the lab fill the air. Only the bubbles from their experiments hanging. It was still for a moment, Sucrose going back to her calculations and research. Albedo sat in front of his alchemy set, blankly staring at it.

He doesn’t even understand what being “tired” feels like anymore. He hasn’t had a decent sleep. Every small movement in the house, every whisper of the wind he would bolt up in bed, thinking it was you coming in from the front door. Sometimes he would hear someone shuffling, he would stop and listen for you, but then realizes that the sound was the sound of his legs under the covers, trying to keep warm without you around.

Sucrose glances up at her mentor. He’s buried his face in his hands, his hair in slight disarray. She knew what was going to happen next. He was going to stand up and just walk away from the lab, and Sucrose was not going to see him until tomorrow again.

Tomorrow, the cycle would repeat.

Albedo couldn’t function. It was pathetic. He really thought that he must be such a sight right now, eyes heavy with exhaustion, hair down and clothes a little unruly. He ran away from the lab again. He abandoned his “important” experiment and went back home, retreating in his room, falling on his knees and slumping on the bed in front of him.

He buried his face into his arms and tried to piece his heart back together.

“Albedo, will you ever get tired of me?”

There was a soft hint of a frown on your face. Silly you, Albedo thought. Always worried about being apart from him. He only smiles and cups your chin in his hand, leans in close to press his forehead against yours to whisper, “Never,”

His fists clutch at the bedsheets, the fabric scrunching up under his hands. Every.damn.time. he tried to take a break, he would be reminded of you. Every thing reminded him of you. Breathing reminded him of you. It was as if you were right beside him and yet you weren’t.

It was him. He was supposed to be the one asking “Y/N, will you ever get tired of me?” He was supposed to be the one worried. But he hadn’t been because he had taken you for granted. He thought that you’d always just be there, waiting for him patiently as you always had but now that he was alone, he realized just how lonely this silence could be.

“You must have been lonely...waiting here for me in this silence...”

His voice was muffled by the sheets, and he didn’t know who he was talking to. He did that a lot these days. Saying things that he wished you could still hear.

The next day, just as Sucrose predicted. It was the same. Halfway through his experiment Albedo stopped, and stared at nothing in particular. She wondered if, whenever he did that, he remembered the things he said to you that day.

But, just as Sucrose thinks today would end up the same...

it didn’t.

“Big brother Albedo!” Klee stormed into the lab, the door slamming open really loud. “Oh...I’m sorry, I didn’t check the sign... I...” Klee stepped out to look at the door sign and found “KEEP OUT” still there. “Oh no...! I did a mistake! Sorry big brother,” the little girl fumbled with her fingers and swung from side to side to show her apology.

A hint of a smile appears on Albedo’s face and Sucrose was thunderstruck. There had been no expression on the Kreideprinz’s face for the longest time that the smile had felt so foreign. “It’s alright, Klee. Do you need help with something?” and his voice wasn’t hoarse. If there was anything that could cheer him up, it would be Klee.

He was done prioritizing his research over the people that really mattered.

“Look what I got! I’ve never seen such a pretty flower in Mondstadt before,” Klee showed off the blue flower to Albedo, eyes shining and wide. Albedo touched the petals as Klee held it up for him. “Ah, yes, Glaze Lilies. You can only find them in Liyue, Klee,” Albedo explains. Klee bounces excitedly.

“Ohhhh! That’s amazing! Y/N must have travelled there recently!”

The silence in the lab was deafening. Albedo’s hand drops from the flower as he looks at Klee, confused. Sucrose had stopped what she was doing, wide-eyed, staring at the young bomber. “...What do you mean, Klee?” Albedo whispered out.

Hearing your name said by someone else made it all the more real that you weren’t here with him anymore.

“Oh! See, Klee was in Windrise and... I was looking at the fishes...” Klee gasped a little, “Please don’t tell Master Jean!” she whispered pointedly but continued. “I saw Y/N there, and Y/N gave me a really big hug and gave me this Guh lays Lily,” the young girl got the name wrong, but Albedo hadn’t been listening anymore. He stood up and crouched down to eye level with Klee, hands on her shoulders. “W-When, Klee?” he clears his throat and tries again, “When did this happen?” Sucrose had also been listening and watching in bated breath. Klee gave one of her biggest, most innocent smiles, not knowing how crucial this information had been to Albedo. “Just now! I just came back from Windrise!”

Albedo didn’t feel the slightest sorry that he bolted out of the lab without explaining to Klee. She would understand and Surcrose was there. He sprinted towards the gates of Mondstadt like his life depended on it. In some senses, it really did.

I can make it.

He was panting hard. His footsteps thundering in his ears. His breath coming in quick ins and outs. His heart is about to fly off its cage.

I can make it. It’s just outside of Mondstadt.

Wind rushes past him, the pigeons on the bridge outside of Mondstadt, disturbed, flying away in a frenzy. Timmie shouting after him.

Please be there. Please.

It takes him longer than he wanted. He wanted to be faster, wanted to be there already but he was still running. Still chasing after that hope. The adrenaline he feels pumps in his veins and yet he is so out of breath that he needs to stop. His hands resting on his knees as he closes his eyes and tries to get his breathing even.

I have to keep going.

His legs were killing him. They were strained by the sudden rush of exercise and yet he still drags both towards Windrise. He could see the large tree at the horizon, but he was too far away to see if you were there. He continues to pant, steadying his breath, preparing for another burst of energy to run towards where he so desperately hoped you were. What if you weren’t there anymore?

What if he was too late?

What if he never saw you again?

“What if it doesn’t work...?” Albedo asks, pondering over the research and discussing it with you over dinner. He loved to talk about his experiments with you because you gave valuable insights on it, and really listened to him. You smile and give him the confidence that he needs, “Then you can try again, Bedo. You always find a way!”

He’s still panting by the time he reaches the steps leading up to the large tree. His eyes dart around. He circles around in place, wondering if you were around the area. He continues forward, stepping up to the big roots and yet again looked around, trying to spot your familiar tuft of hair/colour.

At the corner of his eye he spots something, behind the big tree. A Crystalfly. It was flying away and his eyes automatically follow it. There was a hand trying to reach out for it, but it barely grazed the Crystalfly’s wings. You stepped out from behind the tree, a little annoyed that you couldn’t catch the Crystalfly.

Albedo feels like he’s frozen in time. He stands there and watches the wind caress your hair. Watches as you tuck your hair back behind your ear. Watches as you turn around and start walking away. He snaps back to reality and moves forward, roots and sticks cracking under his feet as he struggles through the root laden path just to get near you.

You, hearing the disturbance from behind, turn around and was met face to face with the lover you left a few days ago. Something shatters inside you. You weren’t ready for this. You were far from ready to see him again. Why was he out here in the middle of the day? You stood still just as he did in front of you.

You notice how his hair is sticking to his face with sweat. The fast rise and fall of his chest. The pained look in his eyes. The closed up fists on his side. “Y/N--” his voice cracks and tears start to pool in your eyes.

You aren’t strong enough for this and you start to turn away.

Albedo rushes forward to trap you in a hug. His arms so desperately wrapped around you as his head rests on your shoulder. “Don’t,” he pleads. “Please don’t go. Come back with me, please,” there’s a different type of hopelessness in his voice. A moment later tears are streaming down your face.

“I-I can’t Albedo. I--” can’t put myself through that again. I can’t and don’t want to be alone at home all the time.

His body shakes and you realize it’s a sob that wracks his body. Your shoulder is slightly wet. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. Please.” You’ve never seen him cry. Not like this. Not as he clings to you and admits defeat. “I...I couldn’t take care of you--It’s my fault. I know, but--”

“I like Windrise. It’s very relaxing.” You say as the two of you walk around the tree, collecting materials. “Is it?” Albedo responds, stopping momentarily to look up at the tree. “You don’t think so?” you curiously ask your lover. He ponders for a moment before smiling, “I think coming home to you is a lot more relaxing,” at the early stages of your relationship hearing something like that from him would cause you to blush.

You pry his arms away and look up at him. His head is dipped low and you can’t see his face clearly, concealed by his hair. You brush his hair away and lift his head up, and you see how streaks of tears run down his cheeks. You see the sleepless nights in his eyes. The hurt that creases on his forehead. You see what your absence has done to him, and all in one moment, you think that perhaps you were too harsh on him. That you should’ve talked it out instead of leaving so abruptly but you-- “I was hurt...” your lips tremble as you try to explain.

“I try, really hard, to make things easier for you. To care about you. I have never asked for anything grand.” You’re surprised at how level your voice is, despite feeling like you might break down just as he does.

“I’m aware,” Albedo wipes at his face, frustrated at himself. His tears have stopped. You were talking. That must be a good sign. “I don’t--Don’t deserve you,” but he steels himself and places his hands on your cheeks. God how long had it been since he touched you like this? and wipes away the tears that were silently falling from your eyes. “But I’ll take care of you. I’ll prove your worth. I... won’t make the same mistake again,”

And when Albedo said or promised something he was one of the few people that you believed in the most. He was trustworthy all the way, and was true to most of what he said. “You have my word... and if I do make the same error again then... Then you can leave. But right now I--” he moves to rest his forehead against yours, taking in the warmth and love that he had missed. “I’m asking for another chance,” he gulps. “Please,”

You stay quiet for a moment. Assessing the situation. But your eyes close at the closeness the two of you are in right now. There was no doubt that you still loved him. A few days would not change anything. A few days would not ruin the years that you spent together. But you were scared and guarded. You weren’t sure what would happen and if it was worth it. You were scared of being with him and being lonely. “...We... should talk and think a little bit more about this...” you conclude and give your answer, stepping away from him.

Albedo’s face grimaces in distraught, but turns into confusion when you take his hand and tugs on it slightly. “...At home, we can talk about this at home...Is that okay? Let’s go back first,” you would figure it out with him from there.

His head drops and he tries hard not to let tears escape again. He really didn’t deserve you. He didn’t deserve this kindness but he sure as hell would take it. He would take it and make it right again. He picks his head up and squeezes your hand, voice slightly soft and trembling, and smiles.

“Thank you. That’s perfect,”

and with his hand tight on yours, because he wasn’t letting you go again, the two of you make your way back.

Should I make a part 3 with fluff and write about the aftermath and how Albedo made it up to you? Let me know :D Message me :D Love me <3

Masterlist

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#albedo x reader #albedo #genshin impact #genshin fics #genshin fanfic #genshin fanfics #genshin fanfiction #genshin angst #albedo angst

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hiddennerdworld · 3 years ago

Text

MHA Couples Dynamics with art by @leecheedoodles| Too Cool for Skool x Keener (Reader x Iida)

Masterlist

Warnings: none, all fluff stuff

A/N: eeeee I’m so excited about this. I saw this art and immediately was inspired. I would really like to do a series based on these. This is all thanks to leechee doodles here on Tumblr. They are v talented so check them out! I’ve seen others use their art, but if they don’t want me to I can always take it down. Enjoy :)

You and Iida definitely got off on the wrong foot

You guys didn’t hate each other per say, but you annoyed each other for sure

Iida just wanted his fellow classmates to be successful and tried to encourage you as class rep. And you just wanted to only take part in the aspects of hero work that you actually enjoy

In your own ways, you both stressed each other out

Iida would give you lectures any time you ditched class, saying you needed to be responsible in order to be the best hero you can be

You just stood and rolled your eyes the entire time with your arms crossed over your chest

Eventually, one day Iida just said fuck it (he didn’t actually phrase it that way bc he doesn’t use the bad words) and picked you up and carried you to class.

The whole time with you kicking and screaming, which doesn’t affect him bc he’s a fucking tree

This became routine. Iida was with you almost 24/7, keeping you in line. This caused even more tension between you guys

“I don’t need a babysitter!”

“Well you wouldn’t if you stopped acting like a baby and attended to your duties!” *snickers* “You’re gonna tell me you’re not a baby when you can’t even not laugh at the word ‘duty’?!!!”

The bickering wouldn’t stop and it was driving EVERYONE crazy

So as Aizawa solves all problems, he paired up the duo with pent up frustration for their final exam

You guys were rolling your eyes when you saw you had to work together but weren’t surprised tbh

It seemed like you guys weren’t gonna make it, but at the last second you were able to distract Cementoss and give Iida an in to dash up and capture him

You guys cheered and high fived when you realized you’d passed, the negative feelings towards each other forgotten

Afterward you guys had a talk.

“Good job out there today, Iida. I’m impressed on how you came up with a strategy so quick. I guess studying so much does actually help, huh.”

“Thank you, L/N! I appreciate the kind words, especially coming from someone who has such good control over their quirk like yourself!”

The whole time both of you were staring at the ground, blushing to hard to look at the other person while complimenting them. Iida still did the hand waving tho lmao

Afterwards, Iida still kept an eye on you always bc he thinks you have a lot of potential and wants you to do well

And you don’t find him as annoying anymore, so don’t really try to avoid him

This ends up with you guys basically just hanging out rather than him chaperoning you.

Training, studying, making food, you guys are together a lot

You and Iida occupied a table in the dining area for your studies for the millionth night in a row. The other students know better than to disturb you at this point. Yes, you guys are friends now, but you still bicker like an old married couple.

“I could really go for some ice cream right now,” you said while leaning back in your chair.

“L/N! You know that stuff isn’t good for you! Why do you wish to consume such sugary content?! Why don’t you eat an apple instead?!”

“I don’t think that’s how cravings work. Besides we have training tomorrow and always so I will still be keeping myself in shape. It’s one treat.”

“L/N, we are studying to become the best heroes! We need to be responsi-“

“But that’s just it! We are always going to be working to be the best we can be. You need to be able to enjoy yourself. Life isn’t all about work, you know?” You said standing up and grabbing his arm, “We’re going out. Come on!”

“Absolutely not! It is after curfew! It would be dangerous and-“ Iida lectured on and on until you guys were basically in front of the ice cream place. He tried to get you to stay back, but you were surprisingly strong when you were determined. (Also, he probably wasn’t resisting as much as he could’ve).

You guys went in and ordered. You got cookie dough with some chocolate syrup on top, and Iida got a scoop of vanilla on a cone, only because you insisted he get something. After you got the ice cream you went to a nearby park and sat on a bench.

“Mmmmmm this is so good. Totally worth it.” You say as you take your first bite, eyes closed while enjoying the delicious dessert.

“I’m not sure if it was worth breaking the rules, but as long you are enjoying yourself I guess it’s alright.”

“That’s because you got the most boring flavor. Here try some of mine.” You said raising a spoonful up to him.

This caused his face to go red and he stared at you with wide eyes for a few seconds before speaking. “No, L/N! I appreciate the offer but it would be inappropriate. Mine is perfectly fine and-“

As he was rambling, you shoved the spoon in his mouth, making him blush even harder. “L/N! You could’ve choked me.”

“But was it good though?”

“Yes, I suppose so.” He said at almost a whisper.

A shit-eating grin grew on your face, “Told ya so. See, Iida look.” You gestured over to the sight in front of you. There were people scattered throughout the park enjoying their night, and you could even see the glowing city in the distance. “We are a part of what makes this all possible. There wouldn’t be people out here living their lives if we didn’t keep them safe. It may not be too often, but we still get to relish in the world we created too. It reminds us why we do what we do.”

Iida couldn’t help but just stare at you for a hot minute. You looked gorgeous under the moonlight while you looked around in awe. You were more wise than he ever gave you credit for. He had always thought you were carefree, but actually you just had cared about things differently than him and he failed to realize.

“You’re right, L/N. We should be able to enjoy this more often.”

“We?”

“Of course. Why would I do something fun without you?” Now you started to get all flustered. Feeling heat rush to your face, you covered it with your hands and looked toward the ground. “Are you alright? Sorry I didn’t mean to say anything that would upset you.”

“No, don’t worry. You didn’t upset me. I would love to spend some time with you.”

So you guys did. Well you already spent a lot of time together already but now you guys would go out and do something fun if you had free time

Like instead of training on the weekends, you guys sometimes walked around the park.

And every time you’d go, you guys would also visit the ice cream shop you guys went to that one night and try a new flavor

You also were participating more in class. You’re grades were getting better from the beginning of your guys’ relationship, but now you actually were invested.

After a test, you would show Iida your grade and thank him for all his help, and he would be so proud and excited for you

Of course, your classmates started to catch onto you guys being more and more friendly with each other

Hagakure snuck up on you guys one day while you were studying. “Alright, when did you two start dating? We all thought you hated each other but now we know it was all an act to throw us off, so spill the beans.”

“Oh, no we’re not dating.” You replied

“Well..” Iida started to talk and your eyes darted towards him

“I mean now that someone has said it, I wouldn’t be opposed to dating you, L/N. I really enjoy my time with you and think you’re a great person. Could I take you on an official date?”

“Y-yea I would really like that.”

“Awwww that was so adorable! I can’t believe I just help you guys get together!” She skipped out of the room, on her way to tell everyone her accomplishments

“Sorry, L/N, that probably wasn’t the best timing.”

“Call me Y/N”

“O-oh okay… Y/N. I’m looking forward to going out with you.”

“Me too, Tenya.” You said smiling and grabbing his hand.

Barely anything was said the rest of the time, but you guys couldn’t stop smiling and you didn’t let go of each other’s hands. Safe to say no information was retained from this study session

#iida x reader #mha fluff #mha headcanons #tenya lida #iida headcanons #iida fluff

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britishth0t · 4 years ago

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Hyperactive (With slight homicide)

This is my first post on Tumblr (not my first post overall as I have Wattpad, but I'll post my username here when I've added my Klarion one-shots on there unless people want it lmao

You grabbed his interest when you were hanging out with your friends near the old cinema.

He seemed intrigued at first when even Teekl became slightly amused by your hyper personality.

Klarion may or may not have stalked you for a bit because of that

Eventually, Klarion did admit you seemed fun to Teekl, and wanted to get to you know you better in person.

Both of you finally met each other when you were walking around the harbour, taking photos of the sea and the horizon even if you knew you would delete them later.

Teekl thought this would be a great time for Klarion to introduce himself to you.

She half prayed that Klarion wouldn't freak you out, and the other half wanting you to not make Klarion too annoyed.

Somehow, it went really well.... A bit too well, as you two then talked as if you had known each other for years

Lets just say, you're both extremely hyper. I mean, it's Klarion.

You being a hyperactive person and him having chaos magic while also wanting mischief? It's a perfect yet dangerous match.

Teekl rethinks her choice about you two being together, as she now has to deal with two children and not one.

This also means that the Light have to deal with another 'kid' as well, since Klarion will definitely bring you to at least one meeting.

They're a bit cautious about you on first impression, not too sure if you're using Klarion to get information about the Light

But after a while, they see how much you deal with when you're with Klarion, and figure out that no one can put up a façade for that long

Yeah, even the Light know that you're one hyper son-of-a-b*tch

I wouldn't say you're obnoxiously loud, it's just being in a Light meeting no one is really talking except you, so it's dead quiet other than that. Nevertheless, you can be extremely deafening without realising it

Klarion's magical powers gives you a lot more freedom when being with him. Like, a lot more freedom, he's a lord of Chaos, you basically have no limits.

You can now do all the crazy sh*t you've ever wanted to do with Klarion by your side, and he's more than willing to join you in whatever ideas you have

A couple of times Teekl has to warn him that you're still a mortal, so he does lay off a bit from time to time to avoid getting you seriously injured

If you do get hurt, Klarion is gunna freak tf out, trying to play it off cool but failing

All adventures go out the window if you get hurt. And if you try to get up saying "I'm fine", he'll magically trap you in your bed to rest.

Don't test him, he will do it

A lot of things may break, and it's whether or not Klarion will fix it with his powers or not after... Probably not, it's not like either of you really care

If the Young Justice team do meet you, it's because you were in a forest with Klarion, messing around while climbing from branch to branch in the trees while Klarion floated next to you

The two of you were ambushed by the team, as Zatanna had sensed Klarion's power in that area while the team were nearby

They would have saved you, but you're surprisingly very good at climbing trees for any of them to grab hold of you, something that actually made them impressed

Klarion was very unhappy, so unhappy that you had to mention about going back home to hang out there to calm him down

Couple of times you'd wander off too far that Klarion isn't able to find you and would have to teleport you to him in order to know where you are, the only big thing that does get him slightly annoyed.

^ If you can make Klarion take responsibility (other than over Teekl) and act like a parent, my respect goes to you

You two don't have any rules apart from when you're injured, although there is one thing that bugs you both

2 hyper devils + "Calm down"= Death stare with Klarion hexing whoever said that

No one is allowed to tell you guys to calm down

Klarion x homicidal hyper reader ⚠️Mentions death⚠️

You met each other like the first one, except that you seemed more wanting to go into danger and edge your friends into doing bad things than actually have fun

This time, Klarion was intrigued before Teekl

He noticed your cold yet intense gaze on everyone that was near you

Something about you was odd. Klarion knew that but he didn't know what was making you seem so odd

It's not until you become best friends that he finally realises your love for murder

While you got along with Klarion before him knowing this, wow he's ecstatic that he finally knows what seemed off with you

He tempts you into murder as well, seeing that you showed to be very refrained from not doing anything about your homicidal thoughts

Catches on very quickly how manipulative you can be with your friends, friends that Klarion now wants to be your first kills

Unsurprisingly, it doesn't take that much convincing from Klarion to make you agree to killing your soon-to-be-dead mates

He helps of course, trapping them all and giving you all sorts of weapons to use on them

It's like a holiday for both of you

You even asked Klarion at one point to make their screams quieter since they were annoying you

And after you had finishing butchering your friends, Klarion realised that he like-liked you and confessed right there

Yep, Klarion did just admit to liking you while standing in the middle of dead bodies scattered around at your feet

Soon after that, you both start doing more destruction together

Limits? F*ck no

Hell, if you asked for half of the moon to be destroyed, Klarion would snap his fingers and bam, moon gone.

One time you asked Klarion to give you powers like superman, just so you could fly and mess around in the city

It started off as just throwing cars as far as you could, not exactly caring if people were inside or not

Which then turned into full blown 'lemme jump/crash into one sky scrapper to another', looking like a monkey swinging from vines in a jungle

While the heroes didn't enjoy your hyper and destructive personality nor Klarion, the news loved you. The amount of reports you and Klarion got in the news just boosted both of your ego's

"Double trouble strikes again!" "Witch boy causes havoc with anonymous villain" "League fail to stop villains, have they met their match?" "Criminals cause devastating downfall on the city" "61 lives lost in under an hour" You felt prideful in the last one, a new record in your books

If you two ever go out to have dates, it'll 100% always end with something, mostly a building, being completely destroyed

Whenever the 'kiddie' team as Klarion calls them, or the Justice League come; they're always too late to stop you two

Even if Batman claims they were so close to stopping you, he's wrong. The heroes don't even manage to get you two to notice them arriving, already going off to have some fun somewhere else

You've mentioned about wanting to kill at least one of the heroes out of spite and because you felt like it on multiple occasions

Klarion would love to snap his fingers to have every hero there for you to choose from, yet he couldn't do that because of Vandal wanting some of them alive. Especially Lex with Superboy.

You get along nicely with the Light, as they trust you enough to know that you can calm Klarion down and that you're classed as a criminal

Occasionally, you have unnerved them with the gory deaths about some of your kills, Klarion kissing your cheek out of pure happiness from hearing the defined details

Teekl doesn't really care about it as long as you get the blood off her fur if you get any on her later.

A lot of lives are lost when you two are together... Which is all the time

(Secretly, the young justice team have envied how much freedom you get when with Klarion-> This is after they have to tidy up the mess you two make)

Sorry if this isn't very good, literally made this and posted it the same day. I've loved Klarion's character for quite a long time now and saw that, although the fanfics are good, there isn't a lot of them. I'm down for requests, but right now I don't think I can do many. You can send me stuff and I'll write it down, just don't be upset if I don't post it in the next week or two. If this isn't up to your standards then srry aha, I realise I don't add much fluff and focus more on the storyline, but there's always room for improvement tho✌️

#klarion x reader #klarion bleak #yj klarion #klarion the witch boy #young justice klarion #klarion x y/n #first post

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wangxianficrecs · 4 years ago

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Fic Finder

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1. Hi, I'm looking for an Untamed fic, maybe you'll be able to help. It's a canon divergence AU in which WWX doesn't lose his core, Jiang Fengmian lives and it's implied that his core was transferred to JC (heavily implied; JFM retires as the Sect Leader after that). This is absolutely not the most important part of this fic but it's a paragraph that I've got stuck in my head and now I'm searching for the rest @_@ Thanks in advance! ~ @otemporaetmores

FOUND! by @notsobabblespace, who was reminded of I’m aching and I know you are too by edenwolfie (part 3 in series, M, 23k, wangxian)

FOUND! by @jim-is-spocks-thyla, who suggests ❤️ to arrive late is better than not to arrive at all by Moominmammashandbag (M, 35k, wangxian) [ETA: Oops, not this one. JFM has no core, but he didn’t give it to JC]

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2. Hi Mojo! I’m in need of you/your followers help in finding a fic that I read a little while ago. It was a fic where Wei WuXian and Lan WangJi lived together in Cloud Recesses and their children were Sizhui and an OOC that was younger than him. I remember SiZhui faced a lot of criticism for not being the chief cultivator’s real child? And they were happy he had a younger sibling that would be sect leader in the future because he was blood. Come to think of it, this is probably an ABO fic too. Thanks for your time 💜

FOUND! @andidontmeanto believes this is Blue Blood by PotterheadAvengerDemigod (T, 91k, wangxian, my post)

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3. Aksks it's like 3 am but I just remembered a fic and I can't find it?? I'd really, really appreciate your help. It was a wangxian fic, maybe a oneshot idk, and lwj was kind of a nerd and wwx a badboy? So basically lwj has a massive crush on him and dresses up like wwx etc. (i think he even got an undercut) and after a party they sleep with each other at lwj's place?

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4. i’m looking for a fic set in the where lwj’s mother killed his father? i don’t think that was a main plot point but it did show up in his backstory - any idea what this might be? ~ @thehype

FOUND! @rentslirott thinks this could be ❤️the best of you by sysrae (E, 42k, wangxian, my post)

FOUND! @castaways-logbook offers The Right to Care by travelingneuritis (E, 39k, wangxian, WIP)

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5. ... same as #6 ...

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6. Hello friend, sorry for the inconvenience but I wanted to see if you could please find me a fic that I lost but I only remember more or less the final part, it goes more or less like this, lan zhan and wei ying are kidnapped by jin guangyao and lock them up if not I'm wrong in some cells next to lan xichen after the fights jin guangyao dies but lan xichen did know how bad jin guangyao had done and he didn't care and then to get revenge he wants to kill wei ying but lan zhan kills him and sizhui gets scared It was more or less like that, please help me ~ @isa0123lol

FOUND! by @wangxiansfics who says that tragically it’s no longer available, but @dulachodladh found it on WaybackMachine here: Thread and Needle by haysel (M, 86k, wangxian)

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7. Hi, Mojo! I'm glad that you're back but I hope you enjoyed your time off tumblr! Can you and/or your followers help me find a fic? I think the summary was talking about wwx and somehow they were asking mingjue for help since he's the only one who can help. The summary was in italics and it's a dialogue from some guy? And a shorter summary below. Sadly this is the only thing I can remember but I hope you can still help me

FOUND! @alwayswenning suggests love, in fire and blood by cicer (E, 360k, wangxian, has it’s own fanfic here, I just finished this last night!, my bookmark)

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8. Sorry to bombard you as soon as you're back, but this one's driving me crazy--a modern AU where they met online. WWX thinks LWJ is an old man from how he talks. I don't remember much except the excerpt made it seem like he still was amused by/enjoyed talking to him, and Wen Qing was telling him it was a bad idea and to stop. It's not How to Fall In Love With a Catfish, tho that one is brilliant! (Also any top notch identity porn would be great) Hope your break was restful, you deserve it! Thanks

Here’s my #identity porn tag, but I’m not sure about this exact story.

I'm the anon for #8 on the fic finder. Though I'm excited to read it, the suggested fic isn't the one I was looking for. I swear I thought I saw it on here around a month ago or slightly more, but searches have failed me.

FOUND! Rating: General Audiences by Mishaa (T, 18k, wangxian WIP) - mysterious author LWJ (speculated to be an old man because of his formality) and infamous artist WWX paired up for an Untamed Big Bang (in an AU where JGY was the series’ antiheroic protagonist; this fic was written before the release of CQL.)

FOUND? could you be looking for Something Real by Latios (G, 5k, wangxian, my post) - wwx thinks lwj is an old man, but there’s no WQ. There are many pictures of bunnies.

SIMILAR! @emilysidhe thought of ID Bro Saga by Bowandtie (T, 39k, wangxian)

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9. Hey, how are you? Could you help me please? I've read 3 fanfics once, but I can't find them anymore. 1 - Nanny Problem, Wei is going to be the babysitter of A-Yuan, he is an omega and Lan is an alpha. 2 - Doctor Perfect, Yibo is an omega nurse and Xiao is an alpha doctor. 3 - The Baby of my Omega, Yibo is omega and Xiao is alpha, both of them are bodyguards, but Yibo has to protect Xiao in the beginning. I think they were at ao3, but I really can't find them. Can you help me please? Thank you!! ~ @weallmad

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10. Hi! Im happy you’re back. I hope you had a good break. I missed your recommendations, but at the same time i got a break from fics and actually studied to my tests haha. [Ah! I’m glad to hear your time was spent productively!] I’m looking for a fic like Linger in the Sun by etymologyplayground. In the fic im looking for wangxian slowly lose their senses instead of all of them at once. Like they lose their hearing, then touch, sight etc, They can’t see each other or hear each other. I’m sorry i can’t explain very well.

FOUND? Could you be thinking of ❤️shadows in the sun rise by Yuu_chi (E, 25k, wangxian)? Only lwj losese his senses one by one in this one, though.

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11. heyyy im trying to find this fic where wwx died the first time he was thrown in to the burial mounds then 10 years later he gets resurrected or something. I can't find it on AO3 and it's been bugging me for days. Thank you!

FOUND! Well, @moku-youbi offers both of these as possibilities:

Did I Not Explain Why the Sunset Turns Red? by 3988Akasha (E, 100k, wangxian)

we're starting at the end by Miss_Enthusiasimal (M, 95k, wangxian)

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12. Hi I am looking for a fic where wwx is a witch (/mage?) in a world where magic is being persecuted (especially in Gusu) except for Yunmeng/Lanling I think but they're still frowned upon nonetheless. Then after accidentally hurting Shijie, wwx runs away, and ends up hiding in Gusu pretending to be a servant to lwj (lwj is a prince, lxc is the emperor) but lwj actually knows of his identity and tries not-so-discreetly to protect him from being caught. Thanks!

FOUND! by @bibliobasilisk who gives us Witchfinder by misbehavingvigilante (E, 86k, wangxian)

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13. Hi! Firstly, I'm glad to see you're back, and I hope your break was a good one! I'm trying to find a LWJ/WWX story that I had planned to read and ending up losing before I could. It was set in the immediate aftermath of the 33 lashes, LWJ is in the Jingshi recovering when a healer(?) discovers he's pregnant (by WWX). It may have been a/b/o verse, but I'm not 100% on that. Part of the story was a flashback to when WWX was still alive. Thank you!

FOUND! by nonny themself. It’s Unexpected Surprise by Glucose_Gremlin (E, 4k, wangxian)

SIMILAR! @mondelgel suggests my heart is kept as pure as ice in a jade vase/一片冰心在玉壶 by Daledesu (M, 21k, wangxian, WIP)

SIMILAR! from @impending-cuttlefish: something new, something white, something blue by ariskamalt (E, 140k, wangxian, WIP)

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14. I'm trying to find this one fic where Jin Ling finds this diary that Wei Ying wrote as the Yiling Patriarch that basically reveals everything, including the golden core reveal and it even has training tips that helps Jon Ling improve. When Wei Ying comes back, he tries everything to keep him there because he is THE best uncle now. I need to find it because it is a N E E D.

FOUND? by @theladypeartree who says, “The Truth (Untold) is jl reading jyl's journals, not wwx's though. And mordant is jl returning wwx's journals that he found, not grew up with. Neither fit #14 properly, but I seriously could not find anything closer after two solid days of searching. Good luck!“

The Truth (Untold) by anxiouswreck0_0 (g, 3k, wangxian, jin ling & wei wuxian)

or this one on ffn:

mordant by tennisnotensai (M, 18k, wangxian, here’s the link for mobile)

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15. I have heard tell of a Sizhui/Jingyi fic where the boys end up going to Wangxian for advice about how to be intimate. Can you help me find it?

FOUND! @manaika-chan says this one is On Advisement by LaMachina17 (M, 19k, wangxian, zhuiling, chengyi)

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16. nm

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17. Hi! Sorry, do you happen to know that nsfw fic where wwx is still studying in the cloud recesses and he’s reading a novel (im not sure if it was from nhs) that features a cultivator couple and there’s a scene in the book where the woman was pegging her husband? Basically wwx got curious about this and tried fingering himself. I remember he was hiding in the back mountains and then lwj eventually caught him

FOUND? Could you be thinking of Deep in the Woods by malkinmalkout (E, 5k, wangxian, my post)?

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18. Ahhh I'm going crazy trying to think of a fic that I've read where Lan Zhan killed Wen Chao in a locker room and nie huaisang stood guard outside the door! Then lan zhan went to lan huan and said I killed someone and he said did they deserve it? Then it's fine. And I can't remember the name of the fic! Have you heard of it? ~ @uchihaautumn

FOUND! @artemisisdiana offers So Full Of Love (Wouldn't Know Where to Start) by witchupbitch (M, 54k, wangxian, WIP)

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19. Hi, I was wondering if you could help me find a fic. I read it a while ago and I don't really remember all the details but it was a modern au where Lan Wangji was a police officer in this small town and Wei Wuxian comes back after years, having left the town due to some stuff. Thank you in advance.

Btw love your blog. I live for your fic recs. [Thank you!]

FOUND? Could you be looking for medium blues by dark_and_terrible (E,193k, wangxian)? It appears to be taken down atm, but it might come back (it’s done it before).

FOUND! by @grannyweatherwaxshat who offers When a Bird Flies, It Leaves Feathers by Bem_Kofi (not rated, 75k, wangxian)

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20. Hi mojo!! First of all I luv your blog Thank you so much for all those ficrecs. [You’re welcome!] Actually I’m looking for a fic I read months ago. I probably found the fic from your blog. But I can’t seem to find it now 😢 it was a modern au wangxian fic (inspired by call me by ur name?) wwx was like 5 years older than lwj. (And lwj was like 16?) Wwx lives in another city but he spent around a year in cloud recesses with lwj in the past. And wwx yanli and jc visits cloud recesses again and wangxian gets 2gether

~*~

[My ko-fi.]

#wangxian fic finder #wangxian #mdzs fic finder #wangxian fic rec

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cockroachmotherfucker10 · 5 years ago

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PRIDEFALL UPDATE: real or fake?

What is Pridefall?

Operation Pridefall, also known as Project Pridefall or simply Pridefall, refers to an attack planned by /pol/ (a political discussion board on the anonymous website 4chan) for all of June, AKA Pride month. The original 4chan thread, which has since been deleted, was primarily focused on “redpilling,” i.e. spreading queerphobic propaganda to make people question the LGBTQ+ community. However, now that it has spread outside 4chan, there are threats of harassing, doxxing, and outing queer people (especially minors) on social media, spamming gore and rape videos in private messages and Pride tags, and even kidnapping, assaulting, or killing queer people in real life.

Specific targets include Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, and dating apps. The goal is to go after smaller accounts so the queerphobia isn’t lost in the comments.

Is Pridefall real?

Yes and no.

I searched “pridefall” on 4chan last night. Apparently any new threads on it are being deleted, and anytime someone mentions it, everyone calls them slurs and says no one is doing it.

However, Pridefall is gaining some traction on Instagram--I have seen it for myself. I don’t have TikTok or any dating apps, but I’ve heard that some people are spamming homophobia on TikTok. As for Twitter, I only looked briefly, but I saw some Pridefall accounts there, as well as a lot of warnings and blocklists from people who are worried about it.

I’ve also heard that there have been a few Reddit and Discord raids, and that there is an Operation Pridefall Discord server (someone who spied on them says they have been banned on Discord as well as a platform called Riot before, so very few people are left on the Discord server now).

What do you think, Lia?

This is not coming from 4chan. No one on 4chan is interested anymore.

Most likely, people outside of 4chan heard about it and decided to take matters into their own hands.

The original 4chan thread wanted to make Pridefall “normie-palatable” by avoiding Nazi imagery or other overt unpleasantness, but I have seen a LOT of both on Instagram. This reinforces my belief that 4chan isn’t doing this.

A lot of the people behind this are young, or at least unsophisticated. Most of the Pridefall accounts on Instagram engage in very childish trolling, and one of them said they were a minor. Some of the threats I’ve seen are so outlandish that I can only imagine they came from a fairly young person.

My guess? Most of these people are around 13-19.

There are also very few of them and some of them probably have multiple accounts. Anti-Pridefall accounts outnumber them by far.

However, on Instagram I’ve seen Pridefall accounts following each other and commenting on each other’s posts, so there may be a few groups working together.

A lot of this shit is going to get deleted. I know Instagram is working through reports very slowly right now because they have fewer people available due to COVID-19, but most of the worst accounts I saw last night were deleted by this morning. I saw some more accounts deleted today.

Most, if not all, of these Pridefallers are just trying to scare us. Because they’re probably quite young, there’s very few of them, their accounts keep getting deleted, and law enforcement can track online activity, there is no way they have the balls or resources needed to coordinate major attacks.

There is a very, very slight chance this could spill over into real life, but as long as you practice basic online safety, you will be fine.

That being said, if you are threatened or doxxed by a Pridefall account, PLEASE contact the police. Better safe than sorry.

I do think that the threat of being doxxed or outed is more real than the threat of being attacked. I have already seen one Pridefall account who posted a trans boy’s address on Instagram (he is okay, he posted recently) and another who posted someone else’s address.

There is little chance this will last throughout Pride month. Apparently the goal is for Pridefall to worsen until the end of June, but given that this is most likely just some vastly outnumbered teenage trolls who are bored in quarantine, I seriously doubt they’ll be able to stay interested for a whole month.

This might not be as big on Tumblr. Tumblr is a lot more anonymous than, say, Instagram, which will hopefully deter would-be doxxers. It’s also known to be a highly liberal and queer-friendly site, so any Pridefaller with half a brain cell should know that A) their content is sure to be outnumbered and reported (only us Tumblr users know how bad staff is at deleting questionable stuff), and B) anyone with the original goal of “redpilling” is sure to fail here. Plus, I only remember seeing few, if any, mentions of Tumblr on Pridefall planning threads.

Still, expect to see some Pridefall activity here. Unsurprisingly, not all of these Pridefallers have half a brain cell. Some of them will definitely be unable to resist the lure of a community as openly queer as Tumblr, and we’ve all seen or heard about doxxing, harassment, gore, Nazis, and queerphobes on here. Also, 4chan has historically had some beef with Tumblr, so young teenage boys who idolize 4chan may target us for that reason.

How can I stay safe?

If you have any social media accounts where you A) have posted identifying personal information, and B) are openly supportive of the LGBTQ+ community (especially if you’re queer yourself), put them on private for June. Any other accounts are probably fine to stay public.

If you need a private Tumblr, you can make a password-protected secondary account and only share the password with mutuals you trust.

It is probably okay to be openly queer on a private account (e.g. have pronouns/rainbow emojis in your Instagram bio), since a private account is not likely to be doxxed. But if you want to be extra careful, remove queer identifiers from anything that is publicly visible.

Use Pridefall blocklists. They’re all over Instagram and Twitter. I may repost some here.

Report any Pridefall accounts you see. This is VERY important because this is how we can actually get rid of Pridefall content.

DON’T RESPOND TO ANY PRIDEFALLERS WHO PERSONALLY INTERACT WITH YOU. I know it’s tempting to give a snarky reply, but if they message you, comment on your post, etc, just block them. Seriously, don’t feed the trolls. It's exactly what they want.

Make sure your password game is strong. Use a different password for every site (I know, I know, it sucks), and use passwordmeter.com to test their strength. Write them all down on a piece of paper.

Make sure your username game is strong. Don’t use the same username for multiple sites, and avoid putting personal information in your username, such as your name or birthday.

Do NOT open random links!! Pridefallers could message you links that will give you viruses or track your IP address.

Don’t accept DMs or follows from people you don’t know. Pridefall accounts don’t always look like Pridefall accounts. Some of them are undercover.

Use a VPN. This is probably a little overkill unless you’re particularly at risk of being doxxed, but it will hide your IP address.

Be careful who you interact with. A lot of queer people on Instagram are DMing Pridefall accounts or commenting on their posts, but this could make you a target. As helpful as anti-Pridefall accounts are, you might even be targeted for following those.

Be wary of Pride tags. Unfortunately, a lot of Pridefall accounts plan to infiltrate tags commonly used by queer creators during Pride month. Use discretion when looking for queer content.

Be safe IRL. Lock your doors, lock your windows, be aware of your surroundings, don’t walk alone in poorly lit places, know basic self-defense, etc. Again, I absolutely do not think people will be attacked in real life, but you should be doing this shit all the time, not just in June. Thanks to COVID-19, you’re safer inside anyway!!

Make yourself hard to dox. Even though I have a very unusual first name (it's not really Lia), I am extremely hard to find online. I just went into an incognito browser window and searched my first and last name in quotation marks, but I didn’t find myself until page 4 of Google (and that result wasn’t even posted by me). I’m only half as careful as I could be, but here’s some of the things I do:

-I never use a picture of myself as my profile pic, except for Facebook and Instagram, which are both on the highest privacy settings possible.

-If I post identifying information on a public account (my college, my age, etc), I use a pseudonym or my first name only.

-On Instagram, I only use my first name, and I used special characters to type it, so you won’t find me if you search my name.

-On Facebook, I only accept friend requests from people I know. Most, if not all, of my Instagram followers are IRL friends, friends of IRL friends, and trusted Internet friends.

-If I’m really being paranoid, I’ll make a brand-new email account to sign up for a site. That way, my accounts aren’t all linked through one email address.

-Before I post a picture online, I delete the EXIF data with verexif.com, since EXIF data can hold GPS coordinates.

🌈 Stay safe, everyone.

You will not be harmed. You will be okay. Like cockroaches, we are survivors, and we will get through this!! ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

-Mod Lia

#mod lia #og post #og post cmf #pridefall #operation pridefall #pride fall #pride #pride month #lgbt #lgbtq #gay #safety #psa #please reblog #pride 2020 #lgbtqia #lgbt pride

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look-at-the-soul · 2 years ago

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Hi! It's gossip girl!!❤️❤️ I'm glad your finally free!!! Tumblr really needs to get its life together!! Also happy late birthday!! I was gone for a bit and saw all the stuff about it a bit late but I hope you had a a amazing birthday!!❤️❤️❤️

And lol😂 I usually do remember sunscreen but this time me and my friends left a bit late and I didn't grab it😂 but after about a week of aloe Vera it's back to normal😂 And yeah I'm glad watching the pups went well!! Pups ARE the best! They are always so funny and cuddly!

And it's totally alright!! You didn't keep me waiting at all! You're always totally good with the time between!! It's never too long anyway!! And I did actually make more progress on some of my WIPs so that's good! I about doubled the word count of the Micheal story I've been working on for a bit but it's still not done😂 But the idea I'm actually the closest to completes is a random Bob x reader from Top Gun that's been stuck in my head and I wanted to finally write out even though I've only done Peaky stuff up to now😂 I did also kinda give in and end up making a mini second account to post random stuff and try to get back to interacting more, but it's still mainly me putting out small things and hiding again😂

And for who I'm trying to get idk😂 maybe all the spam/p*rn bots that seem to be showing up in my tags😂 Tumblr bans the innocent but does nothing to stop those it seems🥲

And OH NO! That's would be terrible and scary to lose that many files and such😭😭 I hope your boss back then was able to take responsibility for it though and didn't like blame you for his mistake! I've heard horror stories of that happening before! I'm sorry you had to restart it from the last save😭 I'm still at the point where I save and save as every now and then but for the most part I only have one copy:/. It'll probably screw me over done day though😂

And I love the idea of your Mary Poppins bag! I have something similar in my car!! It's got all the stuff I need incase I'm out and don't have it and too far from my dorm! My other bags are usually just a full but only contain multiple fidget objects or random items and pens I've found 😂 which surprisingly my random objects have come in handy at times so I can justify keeping them😂

And I'm not actually sure how the one of tests went😂 my teacher still hasn't given back the grade! He was supposed to and then my school closes down for the tropical storm again (which basically ended up missing our area so we're good) and we didn't have class that day!😂 But my other test went well and I got and A on it! So i did bit of a longer break due to the storm but I still can't wait for thanksgiving break in like a week😂 And I guess it was good that your plans to study elsewhere didn't move right before the pandemic! I can imagine how stressful that would have been! Maybe if you wanted to if would be better now, I guess the world has somewhat settled down a bit (in some degrees...) I'm glad your week was good! I hope you got some good rest too and got around what needed to be❤️❤️

As always it was fun to interact with you❤️❤️ Lots of love! Xoxo!

Hi GG!!!

It’s good to be back!!! See @ staff? I didn’t do anything wrong 😇 I just post smut from time to time… 🙈 🥳 thank you sm for your kind wishes darling! I did ☺️💕 it was lovely to get all that love in here you know?

Oh no!!! Hope you got some nice tan at least? I gave up years ago, I looked like a sick ghost at 10 yo, will look like a sick wrinkled ghost at 84 yo so I don’t even try to get a nice color anymore 🤷🏻‍♀️ Oh I just LOVE dogs, have you seen those pup videos from car to car stopping over just to say hiiiii? I’m that kind of person 🤣🐶

I’m so glad because let me tell you a secret, sometimes I feel bad for not answering sooner! But between work, my 🐶🐶, writing, reading, etc sometimes I think I did something only to realize I did it only but in my mind, and when I look back, boom it’s been 5 days since I got the message. Sooooo you’re a Michael fan, what are your thoughts about that end? I’m happy to hear that you are working on your stories!!

I’m terrible at Top Gun stories (I hope I don’t disappoint you, but I never saw the movies 🙈🙊) but either way, it’s so so good to hear you’re getting inspiration, I hope you write this one!! ☺️ @ zablife writes TG stories, if you haven’t seen that account, I highly recommend. Ohhh how come you have a second account and I don’t even know about the first one??? 😋 don’t worry if you want to keep under the anon profile it’s all good!

You’re right, sometimes with the new tags content I get post promoted and I’m like tf? 😳 at something really explicit, and some friends got posts deleted over nothing, guess they are part of us sadly…

Haha I wish! No, I had to keep working on from where the file froze… luckily by then I had mastered the formulas, it’s alright, stuff like that happens and since then, I learned to not let my boss work around my excel 🤪 and make like 3 copies just in case he came to mess it up. Oh well if so far you’ve made it, it’s all good 😉

I recently added a small hair brush (travel size) to my bag, and a little “tide to go” for you know food accidents 🤣 soon I will need a bigger bag if I keep adding things. But yes, it’s so useful when you need something, specially a student like you, bet you have lots and lots of things for your notes 😊

How did the test go? I hope that by now you got a good grade back! Oh no, everything good with the tropical storm? Hopefully it didn’t leave lots of damage, and yay!!!! Congratulations for that A! ✨👏🏻👏🏻 Well done! Happy (belated) thanksgiving!!! Did you go back home for the holiday? Are you buying something from the crazy sales? The stores were so full last week!

Yeah, because I was planning to quit my job and just go to Boston 😂 life: sure haha now I have chickened out to be honest, I’m thinking I don’t know of different plans now like getting my own place, so maybe something online would be more fitting… who knows? 🤷🏻‍♀️ With everything that happened I decided to try to not make lots of plans (of course not getting on the irresponsible side either). Thank you it was 🤗 Hope you week was good and your weekend is even better!

Thanks for the chat! It’s lovely to ‘see’ you here 💙 sending back lots and lots of love your way! Ps don’t forget your sunscreen 😉 xx

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girlfriendofwinchesters · 4 years ago

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imagine dating and marrying Snape (without Dark Lord, without Voldermort)

The first time I write on tumblr

It was just some that I had in my head that I had to relieve and I'm sorry if I wrote a lot

when she saved him from a joke in the transfiguration class after they went in pairs for homework (you don't like it either), making James, Sirius and Peter detained.

You were dressed that you were in love when he defended you from Lily, after you cast a spell on James and the two were already dating

He dreamed he was in love, when in the midst of all he defended him against Sirius and James

The first kiss happened when you were in the astronomy tower, followed by the first sentence:

- Sev, do you still like Lily? - I don't know, I'm not sure, but I still feel a little strength for her! - You should start trying to like someone else! - I wanted it to be easy, but it's just me! - I interested in you, you are my type! - Such that? You are beautiful, intelligent, more sociable than me, even Sirius has already given up on you! - I don't know, I don't know if I fell in love with my best antisocial friend, emo, big nose, and according to him he was ugly! - What? - Hey? - Do You like me! - Specifically, I love you Severus! - I love you too, S / N.

The first time they had a relationship was in the Slytherin dorm, it was Christmas and you knew that Snape was sleeping alone in the dorm and you ask if he could and he says that taking you to your room, he was clinging and getting hands silly

You met his mother last year at King Cross station, you two got along really well

- Y / N, this is my mother, Eillen Snape! - Nice to meet you, Snape talks a lot about you! - Nice to meet you, Snape also talked a lot about you, but did not say that you were so beautiful! - Thank you too! - It seems that the two of you are doing very well together!

He only made an official dating request when you graduated from Hogwarts:

- Y / N, you know very well that when we get off the train, we may never see each other again. - No! I will never let you demand 10 owls for you! - Yes, I know, but diverting done this before. Wants to date me? Officially? - Yes right! Just the end of the world to end what I feel for you! - You are the best thing that happened in my life!

you were insecure about Snape with feelings for Lily

But her insecurity when you realized that Snape wasn’t looking at her anymore

And also the way he loved you, seemed to be stronger than anything

Snape understood that Lilian was now his past and what he felt for her was nothing compared to what he felt for you

His life was changing with you around, he was no longer a teenager, he was sure he wanted you on his side

You got a job in one of the stores in Beco Diagonal, while Snape worked as a potion preparer

you can if you can, after the father's death you stay longer at home, he still preferred to live with his mother

Choose a proposal to teach at Hogwarts, but do not accept it because you did not have patience with children

he asked you to marry the two of you on a walk:

- honey, I was thinking about taking a new step in our relationship. - Hmm, what are you thinking? - Do you want to spend the rest of your life with me, so that we can be together? - Sev, this is what I want, I love you! - I love you, sweetie!

you marry a small officer with your close relatives and friends

a honeymoon was in Paris

you moved to an apartment in London completely different from edging street, it was a dark airy style more airy

you had never talked about children, you thought it was too early to think about having a baby, but that doesn't mean you didn't walk around the house it seemed like the desire had increased after the wedding

you were established, he was at the top level of a porter and you opened your own magic store for the students, they earned very well

you or maybe you just passed Eillen's new house that she had moved to see how she was doing.

you were beginning to have the idea of being a mother, of having a baby in your arms, but that was a sign.

with nausea in the morning, nauseated by Snape's perfume, slightly dizzy and you don't remember your last period, you can only be pregnant, you are going to have a test. It was just positive, you were very nervous, you had never spoken to Snape about children, and you knew he was afraid to pull his father. After dinner, you decided to tell:

- Love, your food is wonderful! - Thank you dear! I need to tell you something, this is going to change a lot! - What there was? - Snape, I'm expecting a baby! - Is he sure? - Am I right! I took a test when I went to work! - So I'm going to be a father, now I'm the happiest man in the world! - This baby is the fruit of our love! - Yes, but if I stop like Tobias? - Sev, you never were and will look like him, you are different from him!

- But how ? I thought you took all the contraceptive portions after our relationship.

- If I'm wrong, it was when we went out to celebrate the store's new business, we drank and had sex on the living room rug!

- It's not my fault that that whiskey made me believe that you were better than usual!

Snape has taken extra care of you now that he is expecting your child, he managed to stay with you in the store and in the details of the layette and the bedroom

A girl, you were pregnant with a Snape girl, Snape was completely happy, he was like that whenever you felt or laid him down and spoke to the baby:- Hi my little girl, how are you? Dad is so eager to see your face !It would be Eileen S / N Snape, the name of his little girl, with the passing of the months in Severo's care only came up, did almost nothing, he proposed to do everything to do.On delivery it was quiet, except for the perfect options. It was planned for the beginning of spring, with husband that you have everything happened smoothly Regarding baby care, you share your duties, you planned to stay up all night. he loved the baby very much, he simply played and dedicated the little girl, he was definitely different from his father. Eileen had just turned one year old, when she woke up sick with Eileen and Snape by her side, when Severus saw you heard you were pregnant you two expected to have two babies at the same time, but still the happiness had come to your home and stayed.

- I do not believe, we will have another child! - We are faster than we think, we are breeding like rabbits!

The second pregnancy was calm, a little more agitated by having another baby to take care of, but nothing to worry about. her house hers was full of toys and more colorful, Eileen was three years old, she was already manipulating magic needed care and Sebastian with two the routine was during the week taking care of the children, tidying up the mess, working and taking a few minutes to date, at the end of the week it was about walking or visiting grandma Eillen or her family after a trip in left the children with their parents, the result was no different, you were pregnant again. and for the third time I was experiencing nausea and dizziness, but Snape always had a portion near by You considered that Rowena would be the last of three siblings, your family had grown fast considering for people who never thought about having children Only five years later, Wade was born, now it was definitely the last with four children all witches, Eillen was eight years old and only had a few years to go to Hogwarts, Sebastian was seven, he was a badass, Rowena was five too and Wade only needed to worry about a few

- Dad, how is Hogwarts? - It's a wonderful place, that's where I met your mother. - Swear? - Yes, I remember how it was today, our first kiss was in the astronomy tower. - Go on, please, Daddy!

It was Eileen's year to go to Hogwarts, everyone was anxious, the six of them went to take the girl to the station

- Bye mom! Bye dad! Bye, Sebastian, Rowena and Wade!

- Take care, we will send you letters and sweets you like! - Thank you, I love you! - I'll be happy if you enter Slytherin ... - Severus Snape! - Or any other house. - I want to go now. - Sebastian, you know your year is going to be next year. - Me either! - Rowena in a few years.

Eileen joining Slytherin, Snape was so happy, he was not so happy because he knew that the sounds of Potter and Black would study together with his daughter.Eileen proved to be good in equal portions of her father.In the following, it was Sebastian's year to everyone's surprise or not, he went to Gryffindor. Snape had a small heart attack when he heard.In the third year, Snape almost died when he learned that Eileen was seeing James' son Harry.

- So Eileen, does anyone call you on your first trip to Hogmeads? - Yes, Mom, it was cool. - Who? - Harry Potter - WHAT?

Sebastian joins the Quidditch team as the top scorer in the second.

Rowena went to Ravenclaw, she was simply one of the smartest of her year.

Wade went to Hufflepuff, he became a monitor

Your children less at home, making you proud. You could be older but you still felt tension and desire for each other.

You two were with your family formed, you were happy.

#teacher severus snape #Teacher sev #severus x reader #young severus #snapedom #pro snape #snape x you #snape x reader #harry potter fandom #harry potter fan #snape community

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thebookreader12345 · 3 years ago

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750 Followers Celebration - Q&A

Thank you so much for supporting me through this journey! You guys don't know how much this means to me. Every single one of you is amazing.

Below the cut are my answers to the questions that you all submitted.

Q: Do you think Jay is going to become Sergeant this season? A: There has been a lot of debate over this question because of the past few seasons and all of the "Easter eggs", like the sergeant exam poster hanging in the background of the show. In my opinion, I do not believe Jay will become Sergeant. Yet. I think it won't be until the beginning of next season because, if this is a possible storyline, I would expect that the producers and writers would make the finale of season 9 about Voight stepping down/getting promoted, etc.

Q: Did Chicago Justice deserve more episodes? A: I'm sort of split with this question. I loved the fact that there was a big episode involving Kevin, and they always included people from Med, Fire, and PD in some of the episodes. However, the whole plot of the episodes was kind of slow because it wasn't like they were police officers and could go out and chase suspects and arrest people and what not. Their job was just to gather the evidence and then present it in court. I think for many, the show fell flat because there wasn't much action, and part of me does agree with that, but the whole idea of the show itself was kind of cool.

Q: What would make you stop watching each Chicago show? A: This is a tough question because I've only ever dropped one show that I can think of, and it was only because the plotline got really dumb. Maybe if some major characters died in each show I'd stop watching it? But then again, I love the One Chicago universe so much that I don't think even that would stop me from watching. So yeah. I really don't know.

Q: Do you believe in magic? A: As much as I would love for magic to be real, I don't believe it is. But I feel like everyone thinks that way. Cause lets be honest, Harry Potter and Disney make magic look so cool. However, we all know deep down somewhere that it's almost impossible for certain things to be real, and magic just so happens to be one of them.

Q: Are you superstitious? A: I'm not the most superstitious person out there, but I do somewhat follow a few superstitions. Whenever I find a penny on the ground with heads facing up, I pick it up because I believe I'll get good luck. Doing the whole "fingers crossed" thing is something I do a lot. I believe you shouldn't open an umbrella in the house or else you'll receive bad luck. Broken mirrors are bad omens. Those are the top 4 I believe in, but other than that, I'm not really too superstitious.

Q: Is your perception of yourself similar or the same to how others perceive you? A: I mean, I would hope so. I appreciate my level of smarts, and whenever my friends acknowledge them or compliment me on them it makes my day. However, with that, people think that I'm always only doing things to boost my intelligence. For example, I love to read. So whenever I say that I didn't do much over the weekend, people always assume that I read a bunch, when I really didn't. Or that I always study for tests or do homework like a week before it's do. That is not the case. But for the most part, I believe my perception of myself is the same as how other people perceive me.

Q: Who is your favorite couple on each One Chicago show? A: Okay, so for Med, there aren't really any couples at the moment besides Maggie and Ben, whom I love but they aren't my favorite, so I'm gonna pick a past couple. When I first started Med, Manstead was my prime ship, so I'll choose them. Will had been pining after Natalie for so long so I was glad when they finally got together. For Fire, it's gotta be Kelly and Stella. They were literally made for each other, and they support each other with everything. Also, they are so cute together and all of Firehouse 51 ships them as well! And for PD, while I do love Burzek, Upstead is my favorite ship at the moment. I've seen the connection between Hailey and Jay since season 5. You don't understand how angry I was in season 7 when Hailey was so close to confessing her feelings. So season 8 made me very happy when Jay and Hailey finally got together.

Q: Jay and Lindsey or Jay and Hailey? A: I respect everyone's opinions on this matter, so hopefully you all respect mine. I thought that Erin was almost toxic in a way for Jay. She continuously broke his heart when all he wanted to do was help him. But what really does it for me is that she left Chicago without telling him goodbye. Hailey, on the other hand, has pushed Jay to seek out help when he needed it, like when she recommended he take seeing a therapist seriously to help with his PTSD, and she is always there for him, no matter what. That's why I believe Hailey and Jay are the better pairing.

Q: Which character death got to you the most? A: There have been too many sad deaths in the One Chicago world. But if I had to pick one, I've gotta go with Otis on Chicago Fire. Otis was always one of my favorite characters, even way back when I watched Fire with my dad when it was first coming out. He was witty and funny, and his friendship with Cruz was everything. So, when I watched the episode where he died, I was full on balling. I had to pause the episode for 10 minutes because I couldn't stop.

Q: Who is your favorite character on each show and why? A: I'm gonna do favorite male and female character because I've got too many favorites from each show. On Med, my favorites are Will and Natalie. Will has been my favorite since day one, and I like that he will go out of his way to help patients, even if it means he could get in serious trouble. Natalie, even though she's not in the show, always pushes for the best of care for her patients, and whenever she dealt with kids it was always the sweetest thing. On Fire, I like Kelly and Sylvie. Kelly is so headstrong and driven, and he will do anything to protect the other members of Squad 3. Sylvie is such a hard worker and you can tell she is passionate about her job. I feel so bad that she's had to go through so many partners. On PD I love Jay and Hailey. Jay has not always been my favorite male character. Back when I watched the show for the first time, I adored Adam. However, I love that Jay has such good morals and is always pushing to do the right thing even when Voight disagreed. Now, it took a few episodes for me to warm up to Hailey, but after seeing her be so badass, it was hard not to like her.

Q: Where do you get inspiration for your stories?/How do you get inspiration when there's not a request? A: This question is always hard to answer because I really don't know. Most of the time I'm fulfilling requests sent in by you guys and I just write what comes to the top of my mind. If there are requests that are not requested and I come up with them on my own, chances are I saw the plot somewhere else, like in a book or show or movie, and I just tweaked it a bit to fit the One Chicago universe. Either that happens, or while I'm trying to fall asleep, I make up random scenarios in my head, and if I find one that I really like, I'll make a note of it on my phone so I don't forget it, and then I'll write about it.

Q: Do you think Brett and Casey are endgame? Why or why not? A: I'm gonna go with yes on this one. Now, Brettsey is not one of my top ships in the universe. However, they are cute together, and I've been expecting them to get together for a while. The two of them, even when Gabby was around, had a great relationship and always cared for each other. Plus, Matt jumped out of a firetruck to go help Sylvie when the ambulance flipped. He was willing to risk an injury just to make sure she was okay. And now that they are officially together in Chicago Fire, you can see that they really love and care for each other.

Q: What inspired you to start writing? A: I always seem to get this question whenever I do a q&a, but that's okay because I don't mind talking about it. I first got into stuff like this as a reader. Basically, I went on to Wattpad and Tumblr to read other people's stories. I had no intention of creating my own. And then, one day, I started imagining myself in some of the fandoms I was apart of, and I thought, "If I'm imagining myself in these fandoms, chances are others are too," and I began creating stories that followed the plots of movies and shows exactly, just adding Y/n in it. However, that got tiring after a while because I wasn't able to have much freedom because I was following a set script, and that's when I remembered I had a Tumblr account I never used. So, I revamped my account just a little bit and started posting story ideas I had that I couldn't post on Wattpad because either they didn't fit with the stories or they were for someone I didn't write for on Wattpad. And now, here we are. For anyone interested, I've posted this before but I'll post it again, my Wattpad handle is @Writer_Reader05.

Q: Jay or Will Halstead? A: I'm sorry, but I really can't choose between the two of them. I love them both so much. Will and Jay are two of my favorite characters in the whole One Chicago universe. While they do have some qualities that I'm not the fondest of, at the end of the day, I adore the both of them, and I could never choose between them.

Q: Who would you rather date: Jay or Will Halstead? A: Why do you guys do this to me? I love them both so much! But, if I have to choose, I'm gonna pick Jay. The only reason is because I like the characters in PD more than Med, so if I'm dating Jay, chances are I'm friends with Hailey and Adam and all of Intelligence. Will is just as awesome as Jay though and I feel like sometimes people sleep on that.

Q: Which of the requested fics you’ve written is your favorite? A: I think I'm gonna have to go with a Jay Halstead x reader I wrote titled Two Becomes Three. Something about the plot just makes me smile. And to think of Jay being a father......So yeah, while I have so many amazing requested fics thanks to you all, that one has to be one of my favorites.

Q: What’s your favorite series you’ve written so far? A: I love all of the series I have written. Something about creating a whole story that's more than just one part is always fun. If I have to pick one series, I'm gonna pick On the Loose. It was the first series I wrote on Tumblr and the plot of it is something I'm really proud of. However, From the Big Apple to the Windy City, Identity Loss, and Difference of Opinion are all amazing! The first two are finished series and the last one still has a few chapters left to go. Go check them out if you haven't already.

Q: What's your favorite imagine you've come up with and why? A: I don't have a lot of fics that are solely my ideas. Most of my stories have plots that were sent in by you all. However, if I had to pick a favorite out of my stories, it'd be Back Home for Christmas, a Halstead Sister fic I released when I was somewhat new to the platform. Something about writing sibling fics always makes me happy because I get to express the familial side to the characters.

Q: If you had to be roommates with 5 of your mutuals/fellow writers, who would you pick and why? A: I love all of my fellow writers/mutuals so much! I know how much work we put into whatever we post, and most of us are very active on this site. As for who I would pick to be my roommates, I'd choose @hereforhalstead @fighterkimburgess @halsteadlover @resanoona @sylviebrettsey because I feel like we'd all have great conversations, mainly over One Chicago. And every Wednesday night we'd all watch the episodes live together and experience them as a group and then freak out over what happened..........Now watch me fantasize about this all day.

Q: Do you listen to music when you write? A: It depends. On some days when I plan that I'm gonna write, then yes, I do put on some music. When there are days that I have a few minutes to spare, I don't put on music just because I'm only writing for a few minutes and I don't want to waste time. But mostly when I'm writing I do play music in the background.

Q: Do you know how your fics/stories end before you finish writing it? A: This is a really interesting question. The answer is no, I do not know how I'm gonna end a fic before I finish writing it. The only story I had a set ending for was my series On the Loose, but that one wasn't even fully planned out until I got a chapter or two in. Obviously, if I get a request that includes a set ending, like two characters get together or something like that, then I know what the ending will be. Otherwise, I have no clue.

Q: Have you ever met someone who had a very similar personality to your own? Did you get along? A: You know, I can't say that I have. Everyone is different in their own way, and that's what makes us all unique. I would imagine if I did meet someone with a similar personality we'd get along because we'd basically be a carbon copy of each other, but who knows. Maybe our similar personalities would cause us to clash.

Q: Do you hold yourself to higher standards than you hold others? A: Not really. I know myself more than anyone else so I know what my limits are and when I've reached them. With people, on the other hand, I always feel like they can be doing more with themselves and their lives. So I do not hold myself to higher standards than others.

Thank you to all of you who sent in questions! I never thought I'd reach 750 followers on this platform. The only reason I have is all thanks to you wonderful people out there!

@winterberryfox @maximeevansblog @scarletsoldierrr @i-like-sparkly-things @dreamingmanip @soph0864 @ryliegh8 @lorenakaspersen @wanniiieeee @nevertoofarfromivar @securityfriendly-jay @pinkbay-love @stephie123

#one chicago #q&a time #q&a session #question and answer #750 followers

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moons-and-stars-and-shit · 4 years ago

Note

Hello there! I hope you are fine.Okaaaay so I'd like to have a matchup since the other one got erased!

So uh I'm 17, ENFP and a pan. I have short, straight black hair with black-ish big eyes. I have an round face with chubby cheeks even though I'm a bit of the thin side.I have long eyelashes and wear glasses. So basically I have baby face and I don't show my age at all! As for my height I'm 1.70 cm.

For my personality, I'm that mom-friend that every friend group has. Need some painkillers? BAM! Need some pads? Do you need 1 or 50? You are hurt? Don't worry I have an aid kit. Your stomach or head hurts? Honey, don't you worry I have a various kind of herb teas with myself.

If someone needs a shoulder to cry on, that person is me. If somebody hurts my friends I go like "So you are saying that he/she/they broke your heart? Okay give me the names and addresses. Now."I would deal with them and then say "So do I need to break some more faces?" I'm not that violent but if they touch my family and friends.... May God help them.

But I'm actually very kind and smiley. I'm the kind of person who smiles at strangers, hold the door for them, talk with a waiter casually and smile at them as well. I never judge someone for their nationality, skin color, language, sexuality etc. And If I see someone bully another person for these reasons or another one, I stand against the bully and if needed I beat them.

I may seem like an cold and serious person at first meeting but over time I'm the biggest goofball and crackheaf you can ever see! Sometimes I'm a bit sarcastic and tease my closest friends a lot- ofc I never offend them. I know what they are insecure about( if they are, WHICH isn't allowed on my watch.- and My friends always tell me that I kinda flirt with them but I never realize and When I actually try to flirt, I can't?

For the hobbies; I love watching anime, listening and observing people, comforting people or just listen their rantings, reading, listening music and singing.... I am not that good at gardening and stuff but sometimes I do this as well...

Thanks a lot in advance luv!

@unabashednightmarepizza

A/N- Tumblr is really testing my patience today 🙂 anyways I’m sorry that happened, this probaly isnt the smae person I matched you with last time but oh well

Romantic Matchup

Iwaizumi Hajime

𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐘𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐌𝐞𝐭

So I feel like Iwaizumi always admired you from afar

He just saw how you were always so kind to everyone

And how you always stood up for those you loved and what you believed in

And he always admired you for this

And admiration turned into a crush when he had taken a nasty fall while you were around

You quickly rushed into your bag and pulled out some bandages

And patched him up real quick

And after you were done you just looked up at him with the sweetest smile and asked if he was ok

My man was a blushing mess

But of course, you living that Y/N life didn't notice that 🙄✋

After this little interaction he continued to admire you from afar

But he would make some efforts to talk to you

You could even say that you two had become friends

Anyways fast forward a little bit

There was a little drama happening with one of your friends

Basically, someone made the oh so horrible mistake of picking on your friend

So you were just going to go have a little chat with them 😁

However, this little chat quickly escalated and the other person was about to get physical

That is until Iwaizumi grabbed their hand and told them that they better back the fuck up before he takes matters into his own hands

After the dude left Iwaizumi turned to you to make sure you were ok

Then he proceeded to scold you about knowing when to choose your battles

He wasn't really mad, just worried that you would've gotten hurt had he not been there

And you being the sarcastic little shit you are made s comment such as

"What do you have a crush on me or something"

Causing him to blush and mumble something about how he actually does have a crush on you

You thought you didn't hear him right so you told him to speak up

So he took your hands and confessed to you

Now it was your turn to blush

But Iwa is nothing if not a gentlemen so he asked you out on a date before he asked you to be his s/o

And I think you can tell where things went from there 👀

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐀𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐘𝐨𝐮

So he really loves how caring you are

Yes he enjoys it more when you're caring for him

But the fact that you care about everyone shows a lot about your character

He just overall thinks your a good person

He loves how kind you are

One time he took you to lunch for a date

And some jackass was being rude to the waitress

So you told them off

As you should 😗

And Iwa swears he fell in love with you all over again

This also transfers into how he loves your feistiness

Like you will fight someone on sight if they offend you or someone you love

Whether that be a verbal fight or a physical one

But Iwa prefers it not to go as far as getting physical

He loves how you're the mom friend

I feel like Iwa is the dad friend

But in that very tough love kinda way

𝐅𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐓𝐨 𝐃𝐨 𝐓𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫

Ok, bi of a weird one but...

He really likes people watching with you

Like yall will just go to the park to chill or whatever

And whenever you see strangers

You guys will come up with little stories about them

You two have so many stories about people that you have to keep a journal in order to keep track of everyone

And you guys will do this anywhere

Restaurants

Movies

Stores

You name it you guys have probably people watched there

𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐦 𝐇𝐜

Oikawa really likes you

Only because you call iwa out if hes being to mean to him :)))

Iwa has stopped MULTIPLE fist fights from occuring berween you and other peopel

but one time he was pissed at the person too

so he just let you have at it

Iwa has become more prepared since hes dated you

Now you can find him carrying his own first aid kit

Or extra snacks and water

He likes to squish your cheeks

And he even says the word "squish" when he does it

He usually only does this whenever your mad at him

𝐎𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐀𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐜

Golden Hour 🌇

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu fandom #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu hcs #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu matchups #Iwaizumi #iwaizumi x y/n #iwaizumi x reader #iwaizumi hajime #iwaizumi x you

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ridiasfangirlings · 4 years ago

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I've read your recent meta about Munakata, Fushimi, and Mikoto, but I'm still not convinced that Munakata is better King than Mikoto. Munakata is quite manipulative don't you think? Like on Fushimi's case, he's aware about the virus but he didn't tell directly to Fushimi nor he destroyed the phone but he deliberately made Fushimi lured Hisui out so Munakata can 'save' him. He also planned Kusuhara's death so Scepter 4 can develop (I felt so sick while reading that). Mikoto while he's maybe too lazy to remember every HOMRA member, he generously gave his power for people who need it like Eric, Anna, even Yata and Fushimi. He's also protective toward his clansmen.

Also I think that if only Fushimi didn't feel afraid toward Mikoto and he was willing to be more open with Yata, he should stay in Homra. The poor dude never have a family before, right? He came from a cold house, why does he join a cold clan, that even Jungle feels warmer than Scepter4? Like you said, Munakata only chose people who was 'useful' for him, isn't it unhealthy to see people by how much they're worth? I don't think Fushimi with his low self-esteem will be fine in environment like that. Homra's family dynamic can give Fushimi what was missing from him on his childhood. On Homra, everyone is equal and there's no talk about "useful" and "useless" member, for example Totsuka is the weakest, yet he was respected. Kusanagi and Totsuka also care about Fushimi so much, and of course he can be with Yata, the most (maybe only) important person in his life.

I'm sorry for long ask, I just love Sarumi and HOMRA so much so I hate Munakata for separating Sarumi on LSW and he acts like an ass toward Mikoto and HOMRA.

I'm gonna answer this one out of order because I have thoughts and want to answer it while the thoughts are still happening XD So firstly: I'm not sure where you're getting that Munakata 'planned' Kusuhara's death. Munakata clearly had plans for Kusuhara from the start but my impression was never that those plans meant for Kusuhara to die – on the contrary, I think Munakata was pretty clearly planning for Kusuhara to be his Zenjou, more of less, to be the one who uses his swift reflexes to cut off Munakata's head when the time comes. A failsafe, basically, because Munakata leaves nothing to chance. He brought Zenjou into the fold largely for that reason, the only one of Habari's Scepter 4 really offered a prominent position, and when Zenjou went to the Records department instead Munakata simply found himself someone who he felt might have the potential to do the job just as well. That Kusuhara's reflexes would cause him to jump in front of a bullet meant for Munakata – and which wouldn't have killed him, because Munakata's aura would have kicked in, but Kusuhara moved quicker than that consideration – was not part of Munakata's plan (in fact if we're talking responsibility for Kusuhara's death I would put that on Hisui's head. Side Blue the novel hints at it and 7Stories is even clearer in showing Douhan as the sniper who tries to take Munakata down later, that Hisui was testing whether or not he could take Munakata out via a third party). In DOB Munakata mentions that Scepter 4 is more 'complete' for Kusuhara's loss but again, I don't take that as Munakata admitting he plotted this – it's Munakata considering after the fact, making the loss into a positive for the clan and considering that perhaps it was a thing that had to happen to make 'his Scepter 4' complete but that is not at all the same as saying 'he planned Kusuhara's death.' (The rest is under the cut because for some reason Tumblr kept eating my first few paragraphs otherwise.)

As for the idea of who's a 'better' King, there's a difference in my mind between which Kings are objectively better than the others and which are better for a specific person. Both Munakata's and Mikoto's approaches have their own merits. Mikoto offers power to anyone brave enough to take his hand so yes, he does offer power to weak people or people who need it like Eric and Anna. Mikoto values free will, and so if someone has the will to take his hand he will offer it to them, give them the option to risk death if they so choose for power. On the other end, this leads to guys who act outside of Homra and can cause trouble (like the guy in R:B, for example). It also means that Mikoto might have actually killed people who didn't fit the Red power, which is no less a tragedy even if it was a risk they were willing to take.

Munakata by contrast only offers his sword to people that he knows are worthy. As Fushimi puts it in LSW: “Taking precaution to make sure he’s only granting power to those who will succeed. That’s quite Munakata’s course of action.” That said though, Munakata's idea of who is 'worthy' isn't necessarily just a specific obviously useful type, S4 isn't filled with just serious characters like Awashima, Akiyama and Benzai. Munakata saw fit to give power to those who thought they wouldn't belong in such a place, like sushi chef Kamo, or those who thought they might just live a 'normal' life, like Hidaka. Munakata's clan contains the heir of a dojo (Doumyouji) and a former NEET (Gotou), and someone who thought a job was just something to pay for your hobbies (Enomoto). It contains people who may have thought “surely, I'm not someone who would belong in such a place.” But Munakata saw potential and pursued it, and I don't think that's objectively any less 'generous' than Mikoto giving out his Red to anyone brave enough to reach for it, it's just going about Kingship in a different way.

And as for the idea of 'useful' vs 'useless,' keep in mind when I discuss that in regards to Fushimi's position at Scepter 4 in particular I really do mean that as Fushimi's perspective. Now, Munakata does choose people based on how he feels they would fit in his Scepter 4 – their use – but that's not just a simple thing either. Like you mention Totsuka being weak yet still equal to everyone else in Homra, however despite Totsuka's physical weakness he does very much have a use in Homra: he's Mikoto's 'stopper,' he's the mood maker of the clan, he's the one who often deals with troublesome people. That's a use, despite his weakness. Munakata's way of creating a clan is different from Mikoto's but I don't think that makes it worse, or less of a tight knit clan. Munakata does have his manipulative side of course, and may do and say things that could draw out dissatisfaction within the ranks of his own clan, but at the end of the day everyone in Scepter 4 is able to feel that they have been chosen by their King for a reason and that he believes in their abilities, from third in command Fushimi to even members of the rank and file like Yayoi. (And from a simple practical perspective too, Homra's a loose knit gang while Scepter 4 is an actual government agency with duties and expectations placed upon them. Munakata will make a place for those he feels worthy, but he needs people who have abilities because otherwise someone could easily feel like they don't fit in this place or have no worth in the clan, because this workplace is not for them. But because Munakata picks only who he believes will fit in his Scepter 4 no one has to feel that way, because they wouldn't have been chosen if they had no talent.)

Now, as to the matter of Fushimi. Like you mentioned, Fushimi grew up without a family so surely Homra's family atmosphere should be good for him, right? But it isn't. I think it's best expressed this way: trying to run before you can crawl. Basically, at the point Fushimi joins Homra, he is not in the headspace to accept the idea of 'family.' This is where the disconnect between him and Yata happens too, because Yata always wanted a huge family where he belongs. Yata has his biological family, of course, and they love him, but he still feels like an outsider. However precisely because he has a loving family he knows what that feels like, he knows how he felt like when it was just him and his mom he belonged, how he belonged when he was with Fushimi. Homra is an extension of that, the big family where everyone is together and the days are easy and he belongs. But then there's Fushimi, who says it himself in LSW: “Solve everyone’s misunderstanding, you say? Who ever said that I don’t want to be misunderstood? Why do you want me to be understood by everyone when you yourself don’t? … If YOU understand me, I would be content.”

Fushimi's a kid who was always rejected, even by his own family. He clings to Yata as the only one to ever care for him but at the same time, look at how Fushimi vocalizes his understanding of their relationship. “Looking at me with eyes shining and saying 'amazing.'” Fushimi is quantifying Yata's affection, that Yata cares for him because Fushimi is amazing, because Fushimi is wounded enough that he can't trust in Yata's sincere affection. So when they join Homra this is a blow to Fushimi, who has hung so much self esteem on Yata's 'amazing,' because now Mikoto is amazing and Fushimi is just Fushimi, and why should that be enough to get Yata to stay? Just being 'Fushimi' has never been enough for anyone to remain by his side.

Homra would have happily accepted Fushimi into their family and given him what he lacked, but Fushimi isn't in a mental state to accept it because Fushimi is the one who quantifies emotions for his own safety. The neglected and unloved kid still can't believe that family won't reject him, that he can actually have a family, and so Homra's atmosphere suffocates him even beyond Mikoto's presence. Fushimi doesn't want to be equal to everyone else because if he has nothing to offer, why would anyone want him around? Just being himself has never been enough before, why should it be enough now? Especially when he sees how Yata fits in and how much he doesn't, where he's afraid of Mikoto and can't wholeheartedly call this person his King, where he doesn't really talk to anyone and often irritates people when he does. When Kusanagi tells Fushimi he wants Fushimi to stay in Homra and be his successor Fushimi doesn't see this as a compliment, he sees this as 'you wouldn't have to say this to Yata because there would be no question about his loyalty, so clearly you question mine.'

Then enter Munakata, and Scepter 4. Where Homra wanted Fushimi to run, Munakata's letting him learn to crawl first. On the one hand yes, Munakata wanted Fushimi for his own reasons, because he believed Fushimi's talents were being wasted in Homra and that he would do well in Scepter 4. But Munakata also saw in Fushimi that there was so much potential not being realized, someone who was in a way like himself. Case Files: “still, the way the two of them felt out of place and alienated by those around them due to how outstandingly capable they were was very similar.” Munakata sees in Fushimi someone who is dissatisfied with the world and offers him a chance to change that world to his liking instead, rather than miserably clinging to a place where he feels he doesn't belong. In Scepter 4 Fushimi has a job and a use and sure, it may not be on paper as warm and inviting as 'family' but it's also what Fushimi needs – he doesn't have to deal with worries and doubts about his place, or feel like he doesn't belong.

Fushimi can focus on his work and let himself really reach his potential, he can be challenged and use his mind, and at the same time if he ends up interacting with the other members and softening towards them, and making friends, more the better. In Homra they may be a family but it's easy for Fushimi to remain on the fringes, wandering off by himself at amusement parks, but in Scepter 4 he has to interact with others in order to do his job. And we do see some of that softening in canon – the little 'thanks' to Hidaka in DOB 1, the way he talks with Akiyama, his interactions with Awashima and Munakata are all clearly 'easier' than he was with pretty much anyone outside of Yata and maybe Kusanagi in Homra. Yata himself says it in ROK: “The Blue King was your King all along.” For Fushimi, Scepter 4 and Munakata were what he needed in order to develop beyond that lonely kid still clinging to the idea that he doesn't belong anywhere (and yes it separated him from Yata but at the end of the day that was more Fushimi's issues talking than anything, because Awashima and Kusanagi pretty much show that yes, someone from Homra and someone from S4 can be friends. It was Fushimi himself who chose to break things, not because Munakata made him but because at the time Fushimi believed that his precious thing was going to break anyway and as I said before Fushimi can't bring himself to believe in Yata's sincere affection).

(Also I couldn't figure out where to put this in, but regarding Munakata not telling Fushimi about Hisui's illusions, that to me shows once again that Munakata does actually understand Fushimi pretty well, because if he told Fushimi then Fushimi loses. Look at that moment versus Mikoto saving Sarumi during the jungle surprise party: Fushimi is miserable walking home, because 'I failed.' His plan didn't work, he had to be saved by someone else, and then he gets to see Misaki crowing over how cool the person who saved him is. By contrast, if Munakata simply told Fushimi 'Hisui Nagare is controlling your PDA and making you see illusions' and then destroyed the PDA, Fushimi would not see that as a good deed. Fushimi would see that as him being too stupid to figure this out on his own and needing to be saved by someone 'above' him, another one of his failures. By only giving him a hint Munakata allows Fushimi to make the connection on his own, play the game against Aya and win. While Munakata steps in to confront Hisui, because there's no way Fushimi can go toe to toe with a King and anyway Munakata called dibs first, Fushimi is the one who ultimately claimed the victory. He figured out the trick, he played against Aya, he won the game stacked against him. Munakata may be testing Fushimi in his own way too, sure, but he's doing it in a way that he knows will actually be better for Fushimi's self esteem. While, say, Mikoto finding out and destroying the PDA right away may seem like the more 'correct' move, saving his clansman from pain, all that would make Fushimi think is that he wasn't good enough to figure it out on his own and he had to be saved again like a useless person. Munakata though understands how Fushimi thinks and realizes that for Fushimi, not being told is better because it allows him to win on his own terms with his own intelligence rather than having to rely on someone else.)

#Fushimi Saruhiko #k project #Talking K #so yeah #I had thoughts ^^;;#which style of Kingship is all to what you prefer #like I lean towards Munakata being best King but I know plenty of people who are Team Homra #there's no one way that's better than the other just what's better for which person #and for Fushimi I think S4 is clearly where he belongs #the parts of Munakata's personality and his clan that seem like they would be less warm and fuzzy than Homra #are precisely why it works so well for Fushimi #(also S4 is just as much of a family as Homra there I said it)

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marvelgurl · 4 years ago

Text

Off-Limits: Part 7

Characters: Tom Holland X Reader Osterfield (eventually), Harrison Osterfield

Word Count: 3270

Warnings: Language, Angst, Fluff,

A/n: This is Part 7 of the Off-Limits series. I am going to start off by saying I am not a dancer, in any way, shape or from. That being said if the dance part of this fic doesn’t make sense I’m sorry, I did try my best to make it make sense. What I can say is that I love music, I am very passionate about it as well. Hopefully that will make up for the “dance” writing. (probably not though)

I used choreography from this video (not all of it but small bits)

Song: Inner Demons By Julia Brennan

Tags are Open for this series.

As always Feedback is always welcome. Good and Bad, it really does helps me.

Also Sorry for the super late upload. I hopefully will have part 8 uploaded on time.

Tumblr Masterlist Series Masterlist

“Tom…”

You looked around for him, but all you saw was your mother sleeping in a chair next to your bed. You could have sworn you heard his voice.

Great I’m hearing things. You let out a sigh as you thought to yourself.

You closed your eyes, throwing your head back onto your pillow. You brought your hand up to your face, as you tried to rub it across your face you realized that it was harder than it should be. You opened your eyes to see your hand was wrapped in gauze. You couldn’t remember what had happened. You started freaking out a little bit. The machine that was next to you started beeping loudly, which wasn’t helping you at all. You covered your ears as best as you could.

Your mother woke up to the noise, she looked over to see you grabbing your head. She came over to you, she put her hands on the sides of your face.

“Y/n, honey you need to calm down.”

The door opened, nurses and a doctor came rushing in. They were moving around checking everything. One of the nurses put something into your IV. You opened your eyes to see your mother looking at you, you focused on her and slowly your heart slows back to a normal rate.

“Mom…” You felt like a child again, tears welling up in your eyes. You grabbed her arm to pull her closer, she just held onto you.

Harrison and Tom came running through the door. They had seen the nurses and doctor run into your room. They were prepared for the worst. Once they saw that you were awake a sigh of relief washed over them. Harrison came up next to your mother and hugged the both of you. After a few moments you all let go, tears were threatening to fall from all of your eyes.

You looked up to see Tom standing close to the door. You made eye contact with him, only to realize he was on the verge of crying as well. Then you started thinking about what you had heard. Did he actually say those things or was it all in your head? What about Nadia? You quickly looked away from him once your doctor started speaking.

“Well, not exactly how I thought you would wake up, but I think I can speak for everyone when I say we are glad your awake.” Everyone agreed.

“You just about gave me a heart attack Y/n.” Harrison gently pushed your shoulder.

“I’m sorry. I woke up to…” You stopped yourself, you looked towards the door at Tom and back down again. “I can’t remember what happened. I saw my hand all wrapped up and I just freaked.”

Tom couldn’t help but think that you had heard everything that he had said. He really hopes that you did because he meant every single word. Now he just needed to figure out whether or not you would even allow him to come back into your life.

“Y/n, there are somethings I would like to discuss with you.” Your doctor looked around at your family and Tom. “Is it okay to speak with everyone in this room?”

You looked over to Tom. He was about to leave when you spoke up.

“Ye… Yes.” You had a feeling you knew what this was about. It was time for it to come out. It’s time for the truth to come out.

“Okay.”

The doctor had Tom move over to where Harrison was, so that it was easier. He went over to his computer. Pulling up your file, before turning back to the four of you.

“You came in about a month ago for a checkup, all of your levels were where they should be. Yesterday we did some blood tests when you first came in, now they are way below where that should be. You are severely malnourished. I am also positive if I were to have you stand on a scale you would have lost quite a bit of weight. Not to mention the damage to your liver, from the alcohol.”

You had put your head down when he was talking to you. You could feel everyone was staring at you. You let out a shaky breath and you brought your legs up to you. You were trying to make yourself as small as possible. You could feel yourself starting to retreat. Trying to get away from this, but now it was time to talk.

“I lost myself.” You looked over to your mother, Harrison, Tom before looking back at your hands. “I haven’t been eating very much, some days not at all. I sleep too little or too much, not finding joy in the things I used too. I definitely not talking about my feelings when I should have.”

“Y/n.” Harrison put his hand on your shoulder. You didn’t look up, you just kept talking.

“I let my mental health deteriorate and it took a massive toll on me physically as well. I was starting to slowly pick myself the fuck up. That was until yesterday. I saw Luke and it all just started coming back.”

“Why didn’t you talk to someone?”

“I couldn’t. Not with how things were. I was trying to do it by myself. I’m sorry.”

Your doctor started talking to you about treatments and he strongly suggested that therapy would be helpful. He wanted to keep you for a couple of days, to make sure that you stay on the right path. He left you with your family and Tom for a while. He had other patients to go see but he would be coming back to check on you.

You called your boss to let her know that you couldn’t come into work for a few days. You let her know what had happened. She was more than understanding, she was happy that you were okay. She told you to take as much time as you need.

After you got off the phone with her, everyone sat there in silence. They were in shock and didn’t know what to say. Your mother had to go to work, she hugged you for a little while then kissed you on the top of the head. Tom got up to take her home, but Harrison stopped him once again. He whispered something to him before leaving with your mother.

“Y/n...”

You looked up to see him getting up to move closer to you. He stopped just before getting to your bed. He was looking down at his hands.

“Tom…” He looked to you. “I need to ask you something.”

“Okay.”

“Were you talking to me when I was out? I heard your voice, but I don’t know if it was really you or just my brain trying to mess with me.”

“Your brain wasn’t messing with you darling.” He moved a chair to sit right next to your bed. Once he was sitting down, he grabbed ahold of your hand. “I was talking to you. I don’t know how much you heard of what I had said, but I can tell you that everything I said was completely true.”

“Damn It Tom!” You took your hand back. “You can’t say things like that, you have a girlfriend.”

“No, I don’t.” He leaned back in his chair.

“What? What happened to Nadia?”

“We broke up the day after I helped you home from the pub. I was just so focused on you all the time. Like I said earlier I fell in Love with you a long time ago. That wasn’t fair to her, and I couldn’t do that to her. We talked about it for a while, and we decided to break-up.”

“Tom… I can’t do this.” You could see tears welling up in his eyes, and you could feel them in your eyes too. “I love you, but I need to figure things out. I need to get back to myself before I bring someone into this. It wouldn’t be fair to you at all.”

“Darling I understand.” He grabbed your hand again. “I’m not going anywhere. I don’t want to lose you again. Not in my life or…” You squeezed his hand.

“I’m not going anywhere. I promise.”

You pulled on his arm to get him to stand up, you pulled him into a hug. You just held onto him. Eventually you let go, but just to move over. Tom laid down, pulling him into you. The two of you just stayed there long enough to fall asleep.

With the amount of damage, you had done to your body, you had to stay in the hospital for a week. You had a fair amount of visitors while you were there. Your boss came to visit you a few times, some of your coworkers came to see you as well. Your favorite visitors were the Holland boys. They were there the most. You hated that they had to see you like this, but you were happy to see them.

There were times that you were alone. Those were the worst moments; you hated the quiet. You could only watch so much television. You were going stir crazy by day three, but you knew that there was no way they were going to let you go home. You were able to talk your doctor into letting you go home at the week mark. He only allowed it if you had someone at home to help you and make sure you are staying on track. Harrison was more than happy to stay with you.

Harrison and Tom came to get you from the hospital. When you got to your flat, you were hesitant to even walk in. From what Harrison told you about that night, you didn’t know what to expect. The boys saw your hesitation.

“Y/n, Its okay. We are here for whatever happens.” Harrison put his arm over your shoulders before pushing open your door.

“okay…”

You slowly walked into your flat. Making your way through, there was an uneasy feeling coming over you. especially when you got closer to your bedroom. You stopped in front of the door, taking a deep breath before turning the knob and pushing it open. When you flipped the light on you were expecting the worst, but to your surprise it looked like nothing was out of place.

You looked at the dresser and you saw a different lamp, a new jewelry stand and a new bottle of your favorite perfume. You also saw scratch marks in the wood, you slowly traced along them with your finger. Your memory of that night started coming back, it looked like someone had cleaned everything up as well. The glass and the blood were gone. You started feeling the bubble slowly coming back. You stopped and just started breathing. It calmed you down enough to keep going,

You looked over to your bed where you had left the photos, but they weren’t where you left them. Instead, they were made into a collage. When you got closer, you saw some other photos, and notes in there too. Photos you remember throwing away when you were upset. You climbed onto your bed, taking it off the wall. You sat down and just stared at it, there were some photos in the collage that weren’t even in your box.

You saw the notes were from friends and family. Your heart was so full of happiness that once again you started crying. You can’t believe that someone would do this for you. you pulled the frame close to you, you just hugged it.

You didn’t notice was the boys standing in the doorway watching you. They were both smiling. Tom wanted to make you feel more comfortable when you were able to come back home. He talked to Harrison about it, then they put his plan in motion. Harrison was the one who cleaned up the blood and replaced the things on your dresser. Tom reached out to some of your friends and asked them to write notes to you. He also searched through a bunch of photos to find the right ones. He made sure to leave space around the edge for you to add more in if you would like. He was just so happy that you liked it.

You look up to see the boys, then set the frame down on to your bed. You got up and walked over to them, pulling them into a hug.

“Thank you.”

You guys spent the rest of the night talking and watching movies. It was like old times; you were glad to have them in your life again. You didn’t want this to go away. You were fighting to stay awake, instinctively you curled into Tom’s side.

“I think it’s time for someone to go to bed.” You felt a small chuckle go through him.

“No, I’m awake. I’m just resting my eyes for a second.” You could hear Harrison laughing too.

“Oh, is that what it’s called. What about the snoring?”

“Warming up my vocal cords?”

“Alright. Let’s go.” Tom stood up, grabbed your hands to pull you up. You let out a groan in protest.

“Tom, I want to stay out here.” You looked up at him trying to give him puppy dog eyes and you pursed out your lower lip ever so slightly.

“That’s not fair darling.” He looked over to Harrison. “A little help here mate.”

“Nope, I am staying out of this one.” Harrison put his hands up. He just smiled at the two of you.

“Fine, you win.” He let go of your hands, but he moved to a different seat. He just gave you a smirk.

“Rude.” You keep eye contact with as you moved over to Harrison and placed your head on his shoulder. “I guess us Osterfield’s need to stick together.”

“Y/n, you really should go to bed.” Harrison looked down at you.

“I guess I am a little tired.” You stood up sending Tom a smirk before walking to a closet and pulled pillows and blankets out for the boys. You placed a set on the couch next to Harrison and placed the second on Tom’s lap.

“Goodnight boys.” You walked to your room, closing the door behind you. Tom was right you needed to sleep. You were exhausted, it seemed like as soon as your head hit the pillow you were out.

Tom and Harrison just watched as you went to your room.

“Ugh. Your sister is going to be the death of me.” He just threw his head back.

Harrison just laughed at him. “Come on mate, just get some sleep.

After a couple of days, you decided to go to the studio. You needed to clear your head. Your boss had given you a key, so you could work on your solo piece. You don’t know how much you would accomplish tonight but you still needed to try.

Harrison and Tom tagged along. They wanted to make sure you got there safe. They also just wanted to hang out with you. After getting inside the building, you lock the door behind you guys. You didn’t need to turn on the lights, there were emergency lights along the hall. They were spaced out enough that it lit the whole thing up.

You went to the changing room, quickly changing into the clothes you had in your locker. You walked to the main studio and flipped on a few lights, before heading to the control booth. The guys just sat along the wall; they didn’t want to disturb you too much. Turning on the system and plugging in your phone. You still haven’t picked a song, which is the worst. That should have been the first thing, but nothing was sticking out to you. You decided to just let your music play, hopefully something would just come to you.

You walked out to the center of the studio and just laid down, laying your arms out to the side. Half of your body was in the light and the other half was in the shadows. You closed your eyes, breathing in and out, just listening to the music. You were trying to feel every beat. You wanted the music to do all the moving for you. You wanted to let go of all the control you had and just be in the moment.

The boys started recording you. This was the first time in a while that they saw you dance. They watched you closely to see what you were going to do next.

Slowly you began to move, you kept your eyes closed the whole time. As you sat up you kept your head back and slowly rolled it around till it was faced down. Your hair fell down off your head and surrounded your face. Letting your arms drag behind you, while pulling your legs in, making yourself sit Criss-cross. Your hands moved to cradle your head; you moved your head from side to side. Taking your right hand, moving it across your body to your left knee, pulling it up. Quickly letting go, you move your right hand behind you to prop yourself up. Then swinging your right leg around, causing you to pull yourself up slightly. Your body ended up in the dark part of the studio. Your right foot was now flat on the floor, causing your leg to be in a 90-degree angle, while your left knee was on the ground.

You put your elbow onto your knee and your chin into your hand, before throwing your head back. You bring your arms around to brace yourself, as you move your body to the ground. Once you hit the ground your left hand is extended out above your head, while the right is keeping you propped slightly off the floor. You move your legs up slowly so that you are almost in the fetal position, but before your legs could even hit your stomach you threw them out.

Moving onto your back. You planted your feet on the ground, lifting up your pelvis, while your hand grabbed at your shirt like multiple people were trying to pick you up by your shirt. Then you dropped your pelvis back down and lifted up your torso up and down, almost like you were doing half sit-ups.

You worked through the rest of the song. Just letting your body do everything.

You could hear the music coming to an end, quickly you ran over to the booth. You grabbed your phone and paused it, it had two seconds left in the song. You were just staring down at your phone out of breath. Your hand came up to cover your mouth, you could feel yourself getting emotional again. You backed up to the wall and sank down. You pulled your knees to your chest and buried your face in them, your arms just wrapped around your legs to hold them in place.

The boys came running after you. when they say you on the ground, they were worried that you were going to have another anxiety attack. Harrison kneeled down in front of you, he placed a hand on your shoulder. You looked up to see his concerned face. You smiled at him and placed one of your hands on top of his.

You sat there for a little while, eventually you just felt emotionally drained. You got up and took your phone, turned everything off. You went and changed again, then you left.

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chris-evans-indian-fanfic · 4 years ago

Text

Love

One-Shot

Description: Asexual!Bucky thinks he is broken beyond repair, until you show him that he has been complete all this while.

Warnings: Angst, bad language, mention of sex toys, romance and fluff

@jtargaryen18 organised a writing challenge for reaching 4k followers and of course I have to participate multiple times! 😍 I am sorry this entry is a little late 🙈

My Main Masterlist

A/N: This is the first time I am writing an asexual character. Whatever I have written is based upon my knowledge that I have gathered by reading various articles and posts on asexuality. The reason I am writing this is because I want to have an equal amount of straight and LGBTQ+ stories in my masterlist, so that there's something for everyone to enjoy. Hence, if you are an asexual person or know someone who is, and you realise that anything in my story is incorrectly represented, then please let me know. I will immediately correct it, issue an apology and accept my mistake publicly.

I don’t consent to have any of my work published or featured on any third party app, website or translated. If you are seeing this fanfiction anywhere but Tumblr and AO3, it has been reposted without my permission. In that case, please do share the link and let me know.

…

"I cannot fucking believe this!" Karen shouted, "What are you like gay or something?"

Bucky winced at her venomous words. "You need to leave," he said in a quiet, respectful tone.

"Like hell I am going to leave. I want answers!" she placed her hands on her hips and stomped her foot. "What is it? Am I not sexy enough for you? Are you not attracted by this?!" she gestured towards the skimpy lingerie currently hugging her body.

Bucky met her eyes as he responded, "I do not want to have sex with you."

She huffed, clearly not convinced, "Why not? We have been going out for what, 3 months now? And you still don't want to have sex with me? What is the issue here? Is it-" she paused suddenly, her eyes traveling down his torso to his crotch, "You can't get it up can you?" she sneered.

Bucky shook his head, too exhausted to deal with her, "Karen, it's nothing like that. I just do not want to get physical with you. That's all."

"Oh! Ooooohh!" she bent backwards a bit, "So it was fine to hug me, cuddle with me and hold my hands. But when it comes to sex, you suddenly become a pious celibate saint! What the fuck Bucky?"

Bucky sighed, and handed Karen back her coat, "We are done. Please leave."

She laughed dryly, "Oh abso-fucking-lutely we are done. You know what I think?" she asked while wearing the coat, "I think that you are too old grandpa and that your tiny ass tortured gay dick cannot salute on its own. Because no man in his right mind would deny this," she again pointed to herself. "Super-soldier my ass," she muttered as she left.

The door to his apartment closed with a loud bang, leaving an echo in its wake. Bucky stood still, rooted to his spot. If it were not for the silent tears rolling down his cheeks, anybody could have mistaken him for a statue.

Slowly, he sat on the floor, his gentle sobs rocking his body as he hugged his knees.

Decades of torture by the hands of Hydra had left him crippled, physically, mentally and emotionally. When he had been saved by Steve, he had started to piece his life back together, bit by bit. Things such as books, movies, music became tiny jigsaw pieces that slowly filled the void in his life.

After the final galactic battle with Thanos, Bucky had been officially initiated to the Avengers team, or rather what was left of it. The team soon became an extended family, a family that Bucky was still getting used to. It was especially irksome when Sam and Scott decided to set him up on a date with Karen from Research & Development (R&D), despite his protests.

It wasn't that Bucky didn't desire a relationship. He wanted to be close to someone, experience romance, feel their heartbeat in a close embrace and place light kisses on their forehead.

But he didn't want to have sex.

At first, he thought he might not have met the right woman. So he searched for porn online, which did little to sway his feelings. He put the issue on a backburner, the safety of the people and the urgency of his missions steering the wheel of his life for a while.

But when Sam and Scott proudly announced their grand plans for Bucky's date, he remembered his "issue" again. He looked at Karen closely whenever they went on dates together. She looked perfect. Beautiful hair, soft glowing skin, curves in all the right places, all packed in a graceful, slender body.

Bucky liked being close to her, but he was still not getting aroused. Hence, he stopped her advancements everytime she tried to get physical. Karen tolerated it for a while, before her patience wore out tonight.

As the sun rose in the sky, Bucky was still seated on the floor, his cheeks now stained with tears that had stopped sometime in the night, though a sniff escaped from him every few minutes. He looked at the sunlight pouring in from the window, broken by the window-panes, landing at his feet in two rays with a comforting warmth. It was in that moment that Bucky realised, Hydra had truly broken him.

🏳️‍🌈

"We have various types of dildos available. There's The Classic, Textured, Long and Thin, Short and Thick, Vibrators, Transparent Plexiglass Dildos, Strap-Ons, G-Spot Dildos, Double-Ended, Squirting Dildos and ones that also come with a suction grip. Are you looking for yourself or are you looking for something to enjoy with your partner?" the helpful saleswoman asked you.

You stroked your chin in thought, "It's only for me. I already have a vibrator that I bought about a year back. The G-Spot ones have never really worked for me. I am looking to try something new. What is the suction grip one?"

The attendant handed you the dildo and showed you the suction grip at the end of it, "You can use this to place and stick it on any flat surface you want, whether it's the floor or the wall or the side of your desk. It guarantees a completely hands-free pleasurable experience."

You stuck it on the wall besides the showcase to test the theory. It worked. "Neat! I will take this one," you smiled as the attendant went to fetch a fresh piece.

You paid for your new sex toy and walked back to the Avengers compound with your small white shopping bag in tow.

When you reached your desk, you heard Karen bitching as usual about something to Jessica. At first, you blocked them out like you did almost everyday, but then a name in their conversation caught your attention.

"He's the Winter Soldier alright. He's completely frozen down there," Karen whispered loudly with disgust.

"Even that red sexy lingerie didn't do anything for him?" Jessica gasped dramatically.

"No!"

"That's crazy! That hot-red piece will convert even the most gayest of the guys! And it didn't do anything for him? Wow," Jessica responded.

Karen added, "You know something? I have always thought he was extremely weird. Like, dude, I know you were tortured by Hydra or whatever, but get over it man! It's been years since he was free. He should enjoy life and stop being such a wimp. I am 100% sure he is impotent."

"You know I was digging into him the other night," Jessica said in a hushed whisper, "and I saw a message board online which suggested that his penis has been completely cut by Hydra. This person knows all such secrets about these alleged superheros. You should follow him."

"What is his username?"

"Proud-Flat-Earther-MotherFuckers. Wait, I will send you the link," Jessica offered.

Having heard enough of their nonsense, you made your way towards the HR department. Maybe both Karen and Jessica had forgotten, but talking about the personal lives of Avengers was strictly against the rules and was considered as reason enough to fire employees.

You filed a complaint with the HR and within a few hours, both the women were fired on the spot. You savored the moment with relish, as their faces turned aghast at the realisation that their actions had consequences. You went up to them, watching the pair clean their desks, with unabashed glee.

"You know something Karen?" you asked her, "Just because a man refuses to have sex, it didn't mean that he's a wimp, or gay or an impotent. But if you do choose to think of him that way, then it surely makes you a sexiest and a homophobic person."

Karen looked at you furiously, "You bitch! I lost my job because you went and blabbed in front of the HR!"

You chuckled at her outburst, "Oh my dearest Karen. Yes I did go and rat you out to the HR. But that's not what got the two of you fired."

"Then what did?" Jessica asked as she joined the conversation.

You folded your hands for effect, "Your hateful comments and toxic views cost you your jobs. People like you think that just by using the latest iPhone or following the latest trends, you are a modern, 21st century person. But in reality, it is your open mindset which makes you a member of the modern society. If you would open your mind just as much as you open your legs, trust me, the two of you will be much better off."

You turned to leave, but stopped yourself, "Just a suggestion. Stop using words like gay and impotent as insults. It will help you retain your next job for a longer time." You winked at their speechless faces, and happily returned to your desk.

Your job in R&D was taxing and so, you always found yourself working late. Today was no exception either. As you left your office at around 8pm, you saw Bucky heading towards the elevator which led to his apartment. You always had a soft spot for the brunette super-soldier. For starters, you couldn't even begin to comprehend the tortures he must have endured in his past. And the fact that he was trying to piece his life back together again? It was truly commendable.

He always kept to himself, his eyes downcast and his body language unsure. And after what you had heard today, you felt even more sorry for the guy. Turning towards the cafeteria, you picked up a box of vanilla-strawberry French macarons for him, thanking the heavens above for the free food available at the Avengers compound. You held the white bag with macarons in your left hand, being mindful of not confusing it with the similar white bag in your right which contained your new sex toy.

A few moments later, you found yourself in front of his apartment. You had visited him twice before to adjust his vibranium arm or to sort out a few tweaks, but never before had you visited him so late in the evening.

You knocked, feeling a little hesitant as you did so. He was surprised to find you standing on the opposite of the door, however, he still greeted you courteously nonetheless.

Before you could state your reason for the visit, he said sincerely, "I heard what you did today. Thank you. I really appreciated it."

Now it was your turn to be surprised, "Oh. Ummm. It's okay really Mr Barnes. It was nothing. You don't need to-"

"No. It wasn't just nothing. You could have turned a deaf ear and ignored them. Yet you chose to stand-up for me. Thank you," a small smile laced his face and you melted on the spot.

You had a crush on Bucky. A BIG one. Could anyone blame you? This guy was a hot, sexy mess of an ice-cream sundae that left you hungry for more even on the coldest nights of the year.

You realised you were staring into his steel-blue eyes like a creep, and immediately cleared your throat. "What-what they did was wrong. Karen had no right to demean you for your desires or lack of them. I-," you sighed, "I am sorry for what she said. It was disrespectful and hurtful. So I brought you something that I hope will cheer you up."

You awkwardly raised your right hand, "I got you some vanilla-strawberry macarons from the cafeteria."

Bucky did cheer up a bit at the mention of his favourite food. He eagerly took the bag with a huge smile, "Thank you," he said once again as you shook your head. "Thank you for everything you do to keep us safe Mr Barnes. I must be on my way now. Goodnight," and with that you left, grinning like an idiot.

🏳️‍🌈

You took a bath, ate your dinner and slipped into comfortable pyjamas. Excited to try your new sex toy tonight, you unpacked the bag expecting to see the nondescript box of the dildo. Instead, 5 delicious macarons stared back at you with innocence.

You stumbled backwards in shock, the impact of your action settling like a dull, heavy weight in your stomach. "Oh no no no no," you whispered, horrified.

You immediately rushed to your window and pulled aside the curtain to look at Bucky's building, as if expecting to see him staring daggers at you. One of the privileges of working with the Avengers? You got to stay in a nice apartment within the compound itself. Your residential complex was a little further away from the main building, covered easily by 15 minutes of walking.

Feeling hyper, you frantically searched for a coat and almost ran out of your house. You rushed back in to keep the box in the bag and again, dashed towards the elevator.

Hoping that Bucky would have yet to open the box, you sent a silent prayer to all the gods and goddesses in the skies above, even Thor. Meh, you never know when an ex-Avenger could be of help.

You sprinted towards the other building, a multitude of thoughts clouding your mind- What if he was offended by it? Would he file a complaint against me? It would be sorta ironic if I was fired for this! Shit he would think my apology was false and I am probably mocking him.

You reached his apartment, a panting, huffing mess of a person. You knocked frantically, his door shaking with force at your desperation. However, you jumped as Bucky whispered your name from behind you, "Are you okay? What's going on?" he asked with concern as you turned around to face him.

"Did-did you op-open the bo-ox?" you questioned him while panting like a dog.

He furrowed his brows in response, "No I was planning to open it in a few minutes. Please tell me what's going on. Why do you look so scared?"

You bent over double, your stomach cramping thanks to your impromptu running, "Thi-this is your bag," you held up the package, "That ba-bag is mine."

"Okay," Bucky said slowly, still unsure of your behaviour, "Should I open the door to retrieve your bag?"

You nodded as he stepped aside, "Why are you not wearing any shoes?"

You looked down at your feet at his query, small blades of grass had stuck to your naked feet along with dirt. "I was in a hur-hurry to get to you," you managed to say between your breaths.

Bucky just nodded in response. It was then that you noticed the pack of paper tissues in his hand. He opened the door and stepped inside, beckoning you to follow him. He pointed to the white bag kept on the table while he looked at it with worry. "Will it explode?" he solicited.

"Uhh no," you replied awkwardly.

"Is it dangerous?" curiosity etched on Bucky's face as you swapped the bags.

"No, it's nothing like that," you looked down at your feet, feeling the heat rush to your cheeks with embarrassment.

He narrowed his eyes, "Then what is it?"

"I can't tell you," you quietly admitted, "but here are your macarons. I am really sorry for this. Didn't mean to disturb you from whatever you had planned," you pointed to the box of tissues still in his hand.

Bucky noticed the underlying question in your statement, "I was about to watch a movie. So needed these to clear the mess."

Your eyes went wide at his sincerity. While you had a crush on him, you definitely did not want to know about Bucky's late night masturbation adventures. Shaking your head, you raised your hands and started walking backwards, "I am sorry I disturbed your nightly… activities. I get out of your hair."

"Actually, would you like to join me for the movie?" Bucky asked hopefully, "We have the macarons and you seem like you need to calm your nerves."

You were surprised for the third time that day. Did Bucky just ask you to masturbate with him? Or have sex while eating the macarons? Or did he want to eat them after you guys have had sex? A flurry of questions swirled in your mind as you stared at him with a slightly open mouth.

Bucky interpreted your gaze and stumbled to clarify himself, "As friends! Would you like to watch a movie with me as a friend?"

You slowly nodded your affirmation, "Yeah okay. Which movie are we watching?"

"The Notebook," he revealed with a smile, "It's an extremely emotional movie. Ummm what's the term? Tear-jerker? Uhh yeah, it's a real tear-jerker of a movie."

"Oh so that's why…" you pointed at the tissues. "Yeah," he confirmed, "I tend to cry a lot while watching that movie. And… ummm… I am the kind of person who cries ugly. You know, all tears and snot. So yeah… I need the whole box."

"That's… that's actually sweet," you smiled, "Trust me you are not alone. I start crying as soon as the titles appear on the screen."

He got excited at your confession, "Yes! Exactly! It's because you know what's going to come and you are just mentally preparing yourself."

You chuckled with him in affirmation as he led you further into his apartment.

You freshened up a bit in his washroom, making sure to clean your feet and the residue on your face from the sweat.

Bucky was standing besides your bag when you entered the living room, "Now that we are friends," he intoned, "will you please tell me what's inside of this?"

You sighed, "Mr Barnes-."

"Bucky," he corrected you and you smiled.

"Will you promise me you will not take any offense or be insulted by it? I really did not mean to swap the bags."

"I trust you," Bucky said with assurance.

"It's…it is a sex toy," you mumbled quietly. Any normal human wouldn't have heard you, but Bucky's enhanced hearing caught your words flawlessly.

He took a moment to process your words, and finally, to your amazement, burst out laughing.

You sheepishly smiled at his reaction as your heart felt a little lighter. "That is embarrassing," he agreed with a wide grin.

The two of you settled on the couch as Bucky's chuckles lessened. He kept the box of macarons between you two, but hesitated to begin the movie.

You sensed his curiosity, and clarified, "I haven't been in a relationship in a very long time. It's been… 2 years I guess… since my last breakup." You took a deep breath, "And my job doesn't exactly leave a lot of time on my hands for dating or one-night-stands."

Bucky seemed to consider your words for what felt like a long time. Finally, he asked quietly, "What does it feel like? To… to want another person… sexually?"

You blinked your eyes, thinking you must have misheard him. But then, his gaze met yours, and you knew his question was sincere.

"It feels like…," you raked your mind in search for the appropriate words, "...like your entire body is on fire, and you need the touch of the other person to quench your thirst. Like, just for a few moments, you want to shut your mind, and let your body think for you."

Bucky nodded slowly as you finished, "But what if you feel that in your heart? And not for your body?"

You squint your eyes at his question, "What do you mean Bucky?"

He placed his head in his hands, "I just… I don't feel like that with anyone. I mean, I don't want to have sex. Trust me I have tried everything. Literally everything. Still I don't feel aroused… I am broken, aren't I? Because this is abnormal, right? No matter how hard I try I will never be normal."

Your heart shattered at his words. You had heard about his horrid nightmares, but to think that he was struggling to accept himself, thinking that he was broken, even when he had so much love to give, was depressing. You could not just stand by and watch.

Gently, you placed a hand on his shoulder, "Bucky, look at me." When he didn't comply, you urged him, "Bucky, you are not broken. It is completely normal to not have any sexual desires."

"No it's not," he scoffed.

"Yes it is," you coerced him, "Do you know what is asexuality? It is the complete absence of sexual desires. Many people-"

He interrupted you, "There is no such thing. You are making this up."

"I am not," you replied indignantly, "Research indicates that more than 1% of the American population is asexual. Also, experts believe that more people might be asexuals because they think that they "haven't found the right person yet"," you ended with air quotes.

With no reaction from him, you sighed and got up, "Do yourself a favour. Use the internet and learn about asexuality. It will help put your mind at ease." You left after giving that piece of advice.

Bucky stayed in the same position for a few moments after your departure. He nibbled on a macaron as he considered the movie playing in front of him. Unable to focus, he promptly shut it all and carried the box to his bed. The macarons disappeared into his mouth as he tossed and turned, feeling restless.

There was no way asexuality was a thing. If it was, then how come there were no movies, tv shows or even advertisements on asexuality? That's because it wasn't normal, right? Maybe you had just lied to him to make him feel better? Maybe you took pity on him?

He looked at his phone on the table near the tv set, your final words repeating in his head in a loop. The combination of tiredness and laziness encouraged him to take your advice in the morning.

🏳️‍🌈

You didn't see Bucky for 3 days after your fateful encounter with him. The fact that you still had your job at the Avengers Tower meant that he hadn't filed a complaint yet with the HR. And for that you were grateful. Friday came and you found yourself working late, again. It was around 10pm and you were still in your lab, almost done with the work. That's when you heard the small swoosh of the lab doors opening and closing.

You looked up from your table, and found Bucky staring intently at you with his blue eyes. He cleared his throat and tentatively took a step towards you. "You were right," he said slowly, "I researched online, read a few articles and spoke with the in-house therapist. I am an," he took a deep breath, "an asexual."

You closed your laptop and smiled at his confession, "How are you feeling now?"

"Honestly? A little bit better. I feel somewhat free," he admitted while gripping the white bag in his hand a little bit tighter.

"That's great! I am so proud of the progress you have made," you beamed at him, but sensed his hesitance as you neared him.

"What's wrong?" you gently inquired.

"You are… not… I mean… by any chance… asexual?" he winced at his own question.

You chuckled lightly, "No I am not."

"Ahh, then it's okay," he murmured and turned as if to leave.

You stopped him by placing a hand on his firm bicep, "What's going on?"

He shifted on his feet, visibly uncomfortable and anxious, "I was just… no nevermind it's stupid."

"Bucky," you said his name in a stern voice.

He sighed again, "I thought… I mean I owe you a movie because… of that night… and so… you know… would you like to watch it? The movie? But why would you? You deserve better… you are not an asexual. You are normal. Why would you want to go on a date with me?" he finally ended his mumbling.

You looked at him with squinted eyes, trying to decipher what he had muttered. "Did you just say you would like to go on a date with me? But it was stupid because you are an asexual and I am normal?" you blinked as he nodded.

"Who told you that you are not normal?" you asked him, a little irritated, "Bucky look at me." This time he complied, "You. Are. Normal. As normal as me, as the other Avengers or as anybody else in the world. Do not, for even one goddamn second, think that there's something wrong with you because there isn't. Are you listening to me? Am I clear?" you wagged your forefinger at him.

Amused at your outburst, he nodded with a sheepish grin. Clearing his throat, he asked you again, "Would you like to watch a movie with me tomorrow? As a date?"

You placed your hands on your waist, "Yes."

His grin widened as he asked you the next question, "Still mad at me?"

"Uh-huh."

"Maybe these cupcakes will help," he shyly held up the white bag in front of you, "I made sure they were cupcakes," he added with a smirk.

You graciously accepted the bag, "Cupcakes will always help."

"Great! It's a date then. Tomorrow… at 4pm? My apartment?" Bucky suggested.

You agreed, and he left with a goodbye. As soon as he was out of sight, you opened the box, expecting to see the usual cupcakes inside. Instead, you found that the sweet treats were decorated with cute messages such as "U R Cute" , "Be Mine?" , "So Sweet" and so on. Feeling mushy at his adorable gesture, you bit into the sweet treat as you headed back to your apartment.

The next day, you made sure to wear a purple dress, complete with black, grey and white accessories - the colours of the asexual flag. Bucky beamed at you as he welcomed you into his apartment. He had made a snack mix from popcorn, crispy pretzels, chips and nachos, the perfect accompaniment to any movie according to him, and you couldn't agree more.

The pair of you watched The Notebook in silence, except for a few sobs and sniffs here and there and the straight up bawling during the emotional parts of the movie.

After a while, the film ended but your date continued. The two of you talked about everything, right from the meaningful discussions about the government policies to random questions like "which mythical creature would you be and why?"

Soon, it was time for you to head back to your apartment. Bucky offered to walk you and you happily agreed. But before you left, he asked you nervously, "Would you like to have a second date?"

"I would love to," you beamed, "Which movie should we watch the next time?"

He ran his hand in his somewhat disheveled hair, "Uhh… I actually made a date jar. Wait, I will get it."

He brought over a glass jar, filled with tiny bits of folded paper, "I thought we could have dates that start from each English alphabet. We can pick and choose at random from the jar."

Tears pricked the corner of your eyes again at his thoughtful and romantic gesture. You gingerly picked one note from the jar, excited for the adventure that awaited the two of you.

🏳️‍🌈

It took more than 2 years for the pair of you to finish every date in the date jar, except for one. Whether it was jet-skiing in the ocean, taking classes for flamenco dance, him teaching you self-defense or going on a wildlife safari together, you and Bucky finally got through it all. Only the letter "P" was now left.

In these 2 years, any distance between the two of you had practically vanished. Bucky was comfortable in removing his bionic arm in front of you. Moreover, he had started sharing everything with you. Right from his darkest and disturbing nightmares to a pretty butterfly that he may have seen during his missions, Bucky made it a point to ensure that you were a part of his life, and you had absolutely no complaints.

The two of you had also discussed about your sexual desires, and Bucky had been comfortable with you using your sex toys as and when you wished.

Bucky was the perfect boyfriend anybody could ask for. He was considerate, thoughtful, a hardcore feminist and gave the best foot-rubs in the world. And so you were nervous. Nervous because the two of you had never actually sat down to talk about the nature of your relationship. And as the day of the last date loomed nearer, your anxiety increased. At first, you thought of making a second date jar, but he had quickly dismissed the idea, stating that he would be caught up with multiple things after the last date ended.

As you sat in the car that Bucky had sent for you, your apprehension grew. Bucky always picked you up, however this time, he had asked you to come alone in the car. Maybe he wanted to break up with you?

By the time you reached the park it was pitch black. You were sure Bucky had paid the guards to keep the gates of the park open just for you.

As soon as you entered, you saw the pathway lined with 25 lamp posts, leading you towards a breathtaking archway decorated with fairy lights and your favourite flowers.

On every lamp post, a photograph of the two of you - which were taken on your dates - was stuck along with a note. The notes described how he fell in love with you over and over again on every single date. Your progress was slow, as read each of his meticulously written words with tears in your eyes. You collected all of his notes and the photographs, and finally headed towards the lit archway.

When you entered it, the instrumental notes of the song "All of Me" by John Legend reached your ears.

You walked ahead and reached a bend. Upon crossing it, you were showered with rose petals as the live music grew louder. And at the end of the archway, your boyfriend, James Buchanan Barnes, was standing in a tuxedo, looking as sinfully good as the forbidden fruit. The entire area around him was lit with soft fairy lights that cascaded gracefully between tall lamp posts. Even on the ground, small wooden lamps illuminated the grass across the area. A live band was playing the music and your Bucky was standing with the most gorgeous bouquet of red roses that you had ever seen.

Your vision turned blurry as you started crying, and looking at your tears, he started sobbing as well. "No no no I can't cry now," he managed to say between his sobs while giving you his handkerchief, "I have to do this."

He got down on one knee and took your hand in his. You both laughed as you started crying harder. He took a deep breath and said your name, "These 2 years have been the most magical years of my life. You have accepted me as who I am, what I am, and never once tried to change me or make fun of me for it. I never thought I would be treated with the amount of respect that-" he started crying, unable to finish his sentence.

You sat beside him and handed him your kerchief. "Yes," you said with a tear-stained smile.

"Let me ask you first!" he exclaimed between his sobs.

You laughed and wiped your snot as he cleared his throat, "I love you so much. You are the only one I want to-" he started crying again.

"Yes!" you answered his unsaid question.

"I haven't asked you yet!" he exclaimed again as the two of you giggled between your sobs.

"Okay c'mon Bucky you can do this," he muttered to himself as you beamed at him. "Okay," he looked into your eyes and whispered your name, "Will you do me the honour of marrying me and becoming my wife?"

You choked up at finally hearing the words. Rendered speechless, you could only nod as fresh tears escaped your eyes.

"You have to say yes!" he almost shouted with excitement.

"Yes! Yes! Yes!!" you matched his enthusiasm as he slipped a ring onto your finger. His large arms then engulfed you in a bear hug, wrapping you in a safe and secure space for eternity to come.

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