#Also saying she's super overrated??? Nah

[doodle17]

Ofc they turned off the reblogs but anyways NOBODY FUCKING ASKED???

[namtanlovesfilm]

Unpopular opinion but the lack of substantial female characters in p’Aof’s shows drives me bonkers, as someone with the most creative freedom in GMMTV the lack of female characters is so alarming to me especially when compared to p’Jojo’s shows. Like the female characters in Bad Buddy are great but that’s an outlier. I was thinking about this more and more as I was watching Moonlight Chicken, like View’s character is supposed to be family but she’s basically a cameo. Also, he sucks at endings.

nah you're so right omg, p'aof has always had good female characters (praifah from he's coming to me, kitty & sandee in dark blue kiss, torfun in 1000 stars, and obviously inkpa in bb), but they're very often super surface level & only there to serve the male characters tbh. as you said inkpa are different bc they are a side ship & therefore benefit from another status than other regular female side characters. and I think you talking about p'aof having the most creative freedom at gmmtv yet never really going past the status quo (or if he does it really feels like baby steps) is absolutely true & frankly a bit disappointing on his part. when I say he's overrated this is what I mean, I do think he's a great director & has created some of the best gmmtv bls ever, but I think some of his intense worship & power at gmmtv should honestly go to more daring directors that'll actually bring something new to the table. and absolutely my girl view deserves so much better in moonlight chicken, I'm so annoyed for her :( also for the endings... I never thought about that but I also think you might be onto something 😬

xxx

[basicallyahedgehog]

what is the most overrated ship and what ship is your favourite for the ask game!!!

Hello!! Thank you for the asks friend!

What is the most overrated ship?

Hmmmm. This is a tough one. My gut reaction is Dramione. To me personally it doesn’t make a lot of sense - I can see Hermione coming to a point of forgiveness and friendship towards Draco, but I just can’t see them working out as a romantic/sexual relationship.

Also, and this is likely a controversial take, but Jily. Don’t get me wrong, I love the ship and I ship it (not exclusively, but I do still ship it). But I feel like it got put on a pedestal, for a ship we don’t actually know much about except “she hated him” “nah she didn’t” and that they died for Harry. And obviously part of the fun as fandom creators is getting to fill in their story. But I don’t know. I feel like, as good as they are, they get over hyped sometimes.

What ship is your favourite?

Drarry. Hands down. Which I know is ironic for someone who just said that Dramione is overrated. But I think that their past - unlike Dramione where the bullying and trauma was fairly one sided - is part of what can make them so good together. They both did terrible things to each other, and they both got super let down by the people who were supposed to love and protect them.

This ship will also always have a soft spot in my heart for how much it has given me. Which I know isn’t really about the ship itself. But through drarry I have found the most incredible friends - and dare I say family - and learnt so many things about myself that I don’t think I would have otherwise. So whilst it might not always be at the top of my ship list, it will always be my favourite for those reasons.

Send me ship asks

[zeessmallwormhole]

On friday, I finished Total Drama Island - Total Drama All Stars, so, I want to express my opinion about evey gen 1 character! ((Alejandro, Sierra, and Blainely will be included!))

also includes spoilers and mentions of both nudity and threats

— 🏝️ —

Beth - Honestly, I didn’t care about her much on Island and Action, but I do respect her for standing up to Heather and calling Courtney out. Someone had to at the time and I’m happy that it was her

Bridgette - God..what CAN I say abt her?? Her obvious worst season was World Tour, she was one of my least favorites in that season, but apart from that, she was a pretty decent character in both island and action

Cody - I forgot he existed for the 3 seasons he’s in until the final 3 tbh- He was so forgettable to me, but I feel bad for him in world tour

Courtney - 3 words; I hated her. She’s my least favorite character. I did try to give her the benefit of the doubt by trying to find her "iconic" moments, however, it was just her being a bitch and threatening people not once, but TWICE to split the million or die. The absolute ONLY time where she seemed like a good person was island, and she was part of the problem in that HORRIBLE love triangle story, I just don’t see the appeal of her

DJ - Bro was a soft giant- he didn’t deserve any of the treatment he got, I at least wanted him to be eliminated fairly, but nah, in all the seasons he was featured in, he was eliminated so unfairly like cmon..

Duncan -Apart Duncan being a big ‘bad boy’ , he didn’t strike me that way- he’s more like an 2018 gacha bad boy that tries so hard to be cool, especially at all stars, it was cringe-

Katie & Sadie - I forgot they both existed since they technically only competed in one season, but I do think they could’ve been minor antagonists since they’re best friends and could’ve been manipulative together

Geoff - Easily one of my favorite boy characters in the entire show, he was a chill guy ((although very chaotic)) and was honestly robbed in island, I was rooting for him

Gwen - If there was overrated put into one character, it’s Gwen, she is decent, yea, but Island was her best season, and only that- Although, she was a close favorite to me in All Stars, she was caring, but did not have to be in that damn love triangle.

Justin - He was OK. Not good, but not that bad either, he had some funny lines but I do wish he used way more than his looks

LeShawna - I do understand why she has the love and fame that she does, she isn’t afraid to talk shit and throw hands while being compassionate and competitive, it was a really nice mix of personalities for her, even tho I don’t understand her sudden turn on Heather when it seemed like they were gonna be friends in action

Noah - I HATE how this man actually got some development in World Tour when he could’ve had more if he’d just play dodgeball in island.. it’s still so annoying to me. But, his humor was fucking great and i’ll forever make fun of him for his gay ass running LMFAO

Owen - I never really understood his humor, and I don’t think that he should’ve won island, it didn’t fit him in the long run, no matter how kind he was..plus the nudity on NATIONAL TELEVISION was disgusting, he didn’t made me laugh in the slightest

Eva - I wish she stayed longer in the merge, she seemed like a hard worker and she was growing on me a bit-

Harold - Half of the time, I didn’t know what he was saying, he was super confusing but he did have good tastes in crushes, even tho he did get turned down

Heather - I know I’m going to sound like a hypocrite with how my opinion was with Courtney, but Heather is my favorite character in the seasons she competed in, and at least she’s mean and doesn’t manage to make it annoying to listen to, I love how she didn’t play and automatically started making alliances and talked strategy. Her win was definitely the most deserved one out of the show, and probably the most well written out of the cast

Trent - His derailment was so sad to watch like..He obviously cared for Gwen, and was probably the most sane person in Island- ..I think that’s all I can say abt him

Lindsay - She was iconically stupid and smart, I loved her a lot, and she definitely deserved to win action, very robbed there

Tyler - I felt super bad for him, his fear being used after bring eliminated, to Lindsay forgetting about him after action..I’m just glad that he’s finally remembered by Lindsay ((and hopefully dating))

Ezekiel - I see why people don’t like him..That’s it.

Izzy ((I forgot to add her)) - The IT girl of the show along with Heather, I loved her, and even tho she always lost, she never failed to be entertaining on screen, 100% my favorite crazy girl

Alejandro - Definitely the right love interest for Heather, he’s manipulative, simpable, and caused many eliminations. He played the game, and I like him because of that

Sierra - Apart from Courtney, she is also my least favorite character. Why? She’s stalkerish, knows NO personal space apart from Cody going to the bathroom, and is just overall a bad character- It seemed like the only thing she was good for was carrying Cody throughout the entire season..

Blainely: We’ve met this girl for like 3 episodes so I can’t provide much on her, however, she had the most iconic elimination ever..and you’ve really gotta be hated if you have a whole ass song dissing you by the chillest guy ever-

[ask-prime-starscream]

Okay, so hear me out. How about I change that certain movie a bit? Let’s start right when Unicron-Megatron arrives at the field with the Predacon bones and Starscream gets an orgasm thinking his beloved abuser master is back.

I feel so bad for Starscream. He thinks everything is going to be okay again. Megatron is his protector after all. The only one who bothers to keep him around. What’s getting punched in the face and getting ridiculed from time to time when you aren’t left for dead? At least to Starscream it’s a good deal because he is used to abuse. Sometimes I think about a scene where Unicron not only punches Starscream, but threatens to kill him. If Megatron actually had a slither of fondness for Starscream or at least remembered what a total wild card he can be in the grand scheme of things, he could have tried his mind tricks on Unicron like he did with Predaking before.  I don’t know. Just to humanize him a bit. Think more of Starscream than that he suffers entertainingly. Buuut, let’s keep it as canon as we can. Scrap that scene. Let’s focus on things that actually could and should have happened!

When Unicron revives the Predacons, Starscream flees and Shockwave stays back because he is a slow inferior ground vehicle. Well, remember that Starscream pays back his debts? Remember that Shockwave grabbed Starscream at the end of season 3 and probably saved him from imprisonment or death? (I highly doubt the Autobots would have killed Starscream if he had had the chance to “avenge Megatron”, but Starscream just expects the worst from everyone, so...)  Since a horde of zombies is scary either way, Starscream flees at first, but then he decides to help Shockwave, the bot that kept him company and was his comrade after Megatron’s demise. Shockwave is about to be overpowered, but a few missiles give him some room to move again. Zombiecons really are not much better than Vehicons, Predacons or not. Megatron revived a whole army and Optimus and Ratchet had little problem slicing and dicing them all back in season 1. Dark energon is really overrated. It’s worthless actually. Megatron is a fool.

Anyway, as a nice quote from G1 which we know TF series can’t get enough of, Shockwave climbs on Starscream’s vehicle mode and together they can escape. We know Starscream is strong enough to carry Shockwave. He had no problem flying Knock Out around. Shockwave probably thinks that Starscream’s dangerous move was illogical, but Starscream just tells him to shut up.

What happens next? They try to free Knock Out and the Vehicons of course. The more the merrier. With Shockwave around, Knock Out thinks twice about who is gonna be the winning team here and doesn’t stab Starscream in the back over some petty thing. A petty thing I would call the emergency brake writers pull when A: Starscream gets a friend. Or B: Two male characters get some really nice chemistry.

I personally have no problem with Knock Out basically being a spineless Starscream who believes in nothing but his looks. What I have a problem with is the way he is treated. He is fucking dangerous and came pretty close to killing some members of team Prime. However, “No Autobot except Cliffjumper dies in this series by Decepticon hand” syndrome prevented that. He doesn’t believe in any of the Autobots’s morals. He doesn’t care if humanity gets wiped out. He has no honor, no loyalty. He contributes absolutely nothing in the fight against Unicron. The Autobots shouldn’t have treated him like a longtime member of team Prime. He shouldn’t have gotten away scot-free at the end of the movie as if he was actually good! It’s so unsatisfying and completely unearned! Breakdown, Starscream, even Dreadwing would have been better candidates for the turncoat. But nah, fuck actual character, Knock Out is cute and funny! He shall be good now! WRONG! Knock Out is a chicken shit opportunist, who will follow the faction in power. He would have submitted to Unicron if Unicron wasn’t about complete annihilation. Something like that shouldn’t be rewarded. If RiD did one thing right, it was showing Knock Out to be uncaring about Autobot stuff and just racing around on earth. So. Phew. Rant over. We will have none of that shit here. Decepticons and Autobots are at a standoff. And Bee won’t pull his dumb “Do you believe me or your own eyes?” shit either. Instead we do something else.

Arcee knows that Starscream follows somewhat of an honor code. He had saved her from Airachnid and spared her life. So she tries to actually bargain with him. While the other Autobots are more like “The heck are you trying here, Arcee?”, she starts talking about whether Starscream really wants to abandon Cybertron and lose it to destruction, this time irreversible. After all, he had put so much effort in reviving it, getting the keys and all. Bee maybe catches on and strokes his ego and Starscream is like “Whoah, what you guys say isn’t even that wrong...!” Shockwave is skeptical, Knock Out just wants to be safe, but everyone comes to the conclusion that together, Autobots and Decepticons, they might have a chance. And so they do their all to fight for their home. And with “do their all” I mean it. They use everything. The Autobots free Soundwave from the shadow zone and if there is one good thing about Soundwave, it’s that he follows Starscream’s orders. Without Megatron, Starscream is the leader of the Decepticons, just like he had been in season 1. Also the prospect of beating Unicron out of Megatron’s body might motivate him too.

So they fly with the Nemesis to Primus’s anus and get battle ready. 

In order to give the Zombiecons the smallest attack surface, they position themselves accordingly. Every Iaconic artifact gets used. Immobilizer, phaseshifter, shield... the Nemesis’s cannons... It’s a crazy fight and everybody is contributing. And then Starscream says “I would have never thought I’d die side by side with a grounder” to Knock Out and Knock Out responds with “How about side by side with a friend?” and... Maybe we even get some nice Autobot/Decepticon teamwork. Some really nice, fanservice-y shit. But the battle is hard and even with the Predacons joining them, they are about to be overwhelmed...

Until Prime and Wheeljack show up. Unicron finally enters the battle himself and Optimus and him start an epic fight surrounded by Autobots, Decepticons, Predacons and zombies. It seems like Prime will actually win and the morale is high. Until Unicron throws him to the ground and stabs him, Megatron screaming in his head. That’s not how Megatron had intended for their eon-long fight to end. He is overcome by guilt and regret. After all, his tinkering with Unicron’s blood had caused this outcome. Him, being nothing but a puppet, killing the one he once called his friend. 

The Autobots are devastated and unbelieving. The Decepticons are more like “Oh no, I guess...” Then Bee pulls his leader potential out of his aft since it’s time not for gods and Primes to define destiny, but for the average man! He quickly advises everyone to focus on Unicron and keep him occupied, never letting him target just one and overwhelm them, but having an advantage thanks to their quantity. Wheeljack holds Primus’s spark box like a hot potato asking what to do with it now and Bee says, they’ll get it where it belongs. So all of our good flyers are supposed to get the box to the core. Predaking, Skylynx, Darksteel, Soundwave, Starscream eye each other like “Is that a good idea?”, but there is no better plan. One of them holds the box while the others flank him, protecting him from any potential Zombiecons slipping through the now far weaker protection of the remaining bots. Unicron becomes aware of what is happening and follows them. With his super ultra speed he quickly catches up and the flyers have to throw the box from one to the other in order to get it out of Unicrons reach. Once more they show how important camaraderie, teamwork and friendship is... eh... even if all the flyers are Decepticons and Predacons, lol... Like... Like this is a GOOD moral, okay?! Different species working together, even though they were evil or kinda evil... there is worth in life, even if said life wasn’t always pure.

Eventually, one of them opens the box and throws it in a last ditch effort towards the core, reviving Primus. The sparks burst towards the sky and Unicron’s spirit is ripped from Megatron’s body, carried to who knows where... whatever Primus deems right.

Now, everything is good, isn’t it? Well, not for Megatron. He doesn’t have a place on the new Cybertron and chooses the exile. But Starscream is having nothing of that. Cybertron is theirs to take now, isn’t it? The Decepticons agree and Bee and the Autobots are like “Really?!?”, while the Predacons are like “Whatever... don’t try shit with us, though.”

Megatron is absolutely against any more carnage and says the war had been a mistake. Starscream can’t believe what he is hearing. Everything he ever did, was for nothing? All the losses? All the beatings? He tries to convince Megatron and tells him what he had done in his name. Cloned more Predacons, tried to avenge him. He is loyal for fuck’s sake!! He is like Megatron has always wanted him to be! Now that is all wrong and he had suffered uselessly?

Megatron just says, that Starscream had wasted his time. Then he wants to fly off, but Starscream holds him back, grabbing his arm. How can Megatron leave him now?! Megatron pushes him away and hurts his wing so he won’t get any ideas of following him before he transforms and flies away. 

Starscream is devastated. He has a breakdown. He reaches for his hurt wing and Knock Out is the first by his side, hearing him cry: “I can’t be alone again!” Knock Out shakes his head, smiling faintly. “But you have us.” Indeed. Even Soundwave was just disillusioned by Megatron’s sudden antics. There is no use following such a coward.

Autobots and Decepticons form a shaky peace agreement for now, everyone having to deal with the losses of their leaders and their almost destruction. The tone is somber, but Cybertron lives again. It is time for a new beginning...

[bidotorg]

Musician, Scientist, and Activist. Meet Carlos Castaño.

My name is Carlos Castaño. I was born on April 16th, 1987 in Béjar, a small town near Salamanca (Spain). However, I’ve been living in Madrid for the last 12 years where I work as a Ph.D. scientist researching molecular biology. I love movies, books, nature, and music. I actually play the keyboard and sing in a rock band called Me Quito el Cráneo!

Turns out, I am also bisexual. This took me a lot of time to figure out and the bisexual group of COGAM (an LGBT association from Madrid) was very relevant in this process. Having a safe place where bi people could just be themselves showed me what bisexuality really was and allowed me to embrace my identity and live my life to its fullest. I started my bi activism in this group, which I am currently coordinating with other bi activists.

In time, I joined the bisexual area of FELGTB (Spanish LGBT Federation), which is one of Spain’s main LGBT organisations made of LGBT groups from all over Spain. Here, I was part of the group of bi activists coordinating FELGTB Bisexual Visibility Year in 2016, which increased bi visibility in Spain. This was the first time I came out as bisexual publicly (in national papers or TV news). It was very, very scary, but also, very rewarding in the end. At the moment I am part of the FELGTB main board, a team made of nine LGBT activists from different areas of Spain working to improve the life of LGBT people from Spain and the rest of the world.

How long have you been out and who was the hardest person to tell?

I’ve been out for four years and a half.

The hardest person to tell was probably my mother, even though she and my father had raised me in an open-minded environment. At first, she did not understand what being bisexual was and she accepted me nonetheless. This acceptance increased when, bit by bit, I explained to her about bisexuality, bi-erasure, and so on. This made me so happy.

Who is your bi icon?

My bi icons are the Spanish bi activists that worked before me. They paved the way so my activism and my life would be much easier than it was for them. And of course, the bi activists that are currently working all over Spain to fight biphobia and increase bi visibility.

What is your greatest extravagance or indulgence?

I've got plenty of those but I would say that my greatest extravagance is that sometimes, when I am alone with my husband, we speak to each other using some sort of a made-up cat language (just using “meows”) and, oddly enough, we understand each other! It’s super weird!

As for my indulgence, I use to eat food that I like as a reward for the work that I do, so on Saturdays, after a looong week, I often eat a large dish of pasta with cheese and Lea & Perrins sauce using my mum’s recipe.

What do you like most about yourself?

I can multitask! I am a scientific researcher, a musician, a writer, and an activist. I think that’s cool… and a bit exhausting.

What was your last post on social media?

Two tweets saying how much I loved the movie Ralph Breaks the Internet and how I probably enjoyed it more than the kids that were watching it.

Where would you most like to live?

I love Madrid. I got everything I need in this city… although sometimes I miss the countryside where I grew up… but I can get to my hometown by car in less than three hours and enjoy nature.

Would you like to be famous? If so, for what?

My only ambition is to sleep eight hours a day, which I rarely do, even on weekends! I think being famous would demand less sleeping for me, so no thanks!

What do you know now that you wish you’d known when you were 18?

That studying a lot, getting a degree, a master and even a Ph.D. would not necessarily get me a good job. I would tell myself “stay away from science, lad!!!”.

What are you the most grateful for today?

My family, my friends, and my husband.

If you could change any one thing about the way you were raised, what would it be?

I wouldn’t change that much. I was lucky enough that my parents always told me that I would be loved no matter who I loved. Of course, they never taught me that bisexuality was a thing, but then, they didn’t know!

If you could wake up tomorrow with one new quality or skill, what would you choose?

I would love to have the ability to sleep whenever I wanted, for the exact time that I wanted. That would be awesome.

What’s your fandom?

I love way too many fictional stories or characters that I find inspiring and have contributed to my view of the world. For example, I love Doctor Who because of the witty anti-violence and feminist stories, or the Final Fantasy videogame series as they have some of my favourite stories and characters, especially Yuna from Final Fantasy X.

What trophy or prize do you most covet?

I don’t recall winning any trophies in my life, to be honest! Does a Ph.D. fellowship count as some kind of prize? If so, this definitely the prize I most covet!

What is something you remember fondly that someone who is now a baby will not grow up with or understand from personal experience?

Jokes from Monkey Island or The Simpsons that some younger people than me don’t understand. How can they communicate without using jokes from The Simpsons!?

What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

Courage, probably.

What stereotype about bi people annoys you the most in your own life?

I just hate the stereotype that says that bi men are actually gay men in denial, or that bi women are just straight women “playing." It is oftentimes used as a joke in a very harmful way because it shames people’s internalized biphobia or/and homophobia. When you think about it, it’s incredibly cruel.

Your house is on fire and all people and animals are already out and safe. You get a chance to run back in safely and save a single possession. What would it be?

Nah, I think that I would enjoy the company of the people and animals that are out and safe! It’s not like I don’t care for my possessions but, my favourite music I can find on Spotify, my favourite books are in my ebook (and could be retrieved if my device broke), most of the video games I own I have already finished so I wouldn’t need to buy them again. After moving a lot from house to house I’ve learned not to accumulate much, or I will suffer the consequences when I have to leave one house and move to the next. And it’s not like I (or most people my age) can afford a house in Madrid so…

Who’s your favorite bi character?

Captain Jack Harkness from Doctor Who and Torchwood.

Given the choice of anyone in the world, living or from history, with whom would you want to sit down and have dinner?

I believe that we often have these fantasies of meeting some celebrity or person from history that we admire. However, I have the theory that these role models are idealized, so it is highly likely that we would be disappointed when finally meeting them. Therefore, I’d rather have dinner with someone I have already met and admire. My answer is definitely my late grandfather and grandmother.

What is the best thing about being bi?

Being bi is like being a double agent. You know that what most people think about dating men or women is wrong. For example, straight men that complain about how difficult is to communicate with the women they date don’t know that this also happens when men date men. Having dated men that see and treat you as an object helped me to understand painfully well everything that my female friends were complaining about all the time. It gives you a great gender perspective and an out-of-the-binary view of the world that I find very rewarding. Of course, being bi does not necessarily make me a better person but I feel that all that I have learned from my bisexuality may help make the world a better place.

*If you are interested in being featured as part of bi.org What Bi Looks Like series, please fill out the form here.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #444

“the monster you made is wearing the crown  /  i’ll be the king, and you’ll be the clown”

Do you take off from school, or work for your birthday? Ha, I used to try to talk Mom into letting me stay home from school... It only sometimes worked. Have you ever created ‘open when’ letters for someone? No. That'd be cute for an s/o, though. What is the best thing about being in the relationship you’re in right now or about being single? Not having to fear my partner leaving because of the struggles I'm going through. Not having to worry about not being enough for another person, because I'm not even enough for myself. Do you have a favourite painting? Not by a historical artist, no, but there is a piece by a deviantART artist called "Denialism" (by NukeRooster/Tatchit, if you're interested) that I adore so much I've actually gotten her permission to get it tattooed one day when I can afford a brilliant artist to do it. What are some of the best life hacks you know? /shrug What makes you smile without fail? MARK LAUGHING laj;sdkafjwlk;erj Do you know what you’ll be getting your loved ones for the holidays this winter? No clue. That's still a whiles off. What is your biggest short-term goal (within the next month)? Just lose a decent amount of weight for a month's time. What will your next tattoo be of? It depends on what cash I have available, really. As much as it sucks, I think my next tat is a whiles off because I just have more pressing things to pay for. Has anyone very close to you ever died? Besides pets, the closest human to me that's ever died was Jason's mom. If you were throwing your significant other/best friend a themed party, what would the theme be? Uh, Frieza-related, obviously. Do you feel prepared for the apocalypse? I don't believe in the apocalypse in the biblical sense of it being determined by an ultimate power, so this isn't something I really think about. Whenever humanity ends, it ends. I don't have a say, so I may as well not obsess over it. Do you think you will have children naturally, adopt, or forgo having children altogether? I'm not having kids, but if I did, I know that either I'd have to give birth to them or my hypothetical wife would for me to feel *properly* connected to them as a mother should. Oh, or if my male partner had a kid from a previous relationship, but I'd have to be REALLY in love with him to feel like that child is also my own. Do you take pictures of yourself on a daily basis? Oh god no. Do you believe in angels? No, but rather just spirits. Is there anything in your past that you used to regret, but now you don’t? Hm, maybe? Does your knee hurt? My knees always hurt. Has anyone ever called you sexy? Yes. Do you like raisins? omg nooooo What is your favorite bug? Butterflies! :') Do you like Scrabble? Sure, it's fun for a board game. Do you have a printer? Yes. What is your favorite food? Cheeseburgers or pizza, probably. I know, so American. Have you ever overheard a conversation you weren’t supposed to? Yes. Do you like ants? They are very fascinating when you really think about it, but I still find them incredibly annoying. Did you like the movie Antz? I loved it as a kid. Have you ever drank goat milk? No, I don't believe so. What’s your favorite video game? Silent Hill 2 and Shadow of the Colossus. Do you like cats? I love kitties!!! :') Are goldfish your favorite fish? No. I think my favorite is probably the lionfish. Do you like vanilla pudding? No. I only like chocolate pudding. What is your opinion on gay marriage? I 100% support it and would fight to the death for it. What is your opinion on gay adoption? Don't even fucking look at me if you see a problem with a parentless child finding a home with two people in love. Who was the last person you had a crush on? Sara. What’s the most expensive piece of clothing you own? I have zero clue. Why do you drive the car you have right now? I don't have my own car. Have you ever seen your best friend cry? Omg yes and it sucks. Are you friends with your neighbors? No. What is your current desktop picture? One of my favorite pictures of my late pup, Teddy. What’s the coolest thing you’ve seen out the window of an airplane? Mountains! Does your neighbor have any pets? *shrug* Have you ever swam in a mountain lake? No, but that sounds VIBIN'. Has a cat/dog ever thrown up on your bed? alksdjflk;a;jdfalwe yes Have you ever had a concussion? One or two. Do you know anyone who has a pet gecko? Not currently, I think? I want a fat-tailed gecko, though. :( Would you ever go bear hunting? I wouldn't dare hunt ANY animal. Have you ever seen two movies at the theater in a row? I have not. How many teenagers do you know who have babies? I know no teen personally that has a child, but there were some pregnant students in high school. If you could keep your parents or trade them for other parents, which would you pick? I would NEVER change my parents. Is there a piggy bank in the room you’re in? It's not a "piggy" bank, per se, but my sister got me a skull one that she says is for my tattoo funds. :') How many sets of twins do you know? Two, off the very top of my head. If you have younger siblings, are you very protective of them? Yes. No one fucks with her for as long as I live. If you have older siblings, are they very protective of you? Not especially. Who is your favorite Disney Channel person? Uhhh, maybe Raven Symone? How many pets do you have? Just two. Do you think you will be successful in life? No. :/ What do you have pierced? My earlobes, twice, and my bottom lip. I have been dyinnnnggg for some new ones lately. :/ Does techno annoy you as much as it annoys me? No, I actually enjoy quite a bit of techno. What’s your comfort food? Ice cream. Do you like paranormal stuff? YES. Do you have a favorite stuffed toy? Rebel, my adorable meerkat plush from Jason, and Brownie, my moose from Cabela's. What’s the most exciting project you were given? In a way, my senior project since you got to choose your own topic, but I dreaded the presentation. Do you have a good sense of direction? Not at ALL. What are your favorite colour for a cat? Orange! If you had to live your life carrying a shield, what would its design be? This is gonna sound super, super cheesy, but probably a heart to symbolize how love should and could block the effects of hate and general evil and that we should pursue that instead of violence. Out of all the cancers, which one do you think needs to find a cure first? Oh god, they all do. If I had to pick one though, it'd be one of the inevitably fatal kinds, like pancreatic. What are your general afterthoughts when you’ve finished a book? I feel accomplished for actually reading to a story's completion. How many pairs of glasses (not sunglasses) have you owned? Two, I think? What color is your flash-drive? Hot pink. Have you ever built a sand castle? Yeah. How many houses have you lived in? Six. One I have no memory of. Do you shut off the water while you brush your teeth? Yes. What video game should everybody play at least once? Amnesia: A Machine for PIgs for the symbolism. It blows my mind how most horror fans hate it; it's like they totally miss the point. 100 years from now, what modern things will people look back on and say, “WTF?” Hopefully things like homophobia, racism, misogyny, concepts like those. What is impossible to understand until it happens to you? Mental illness, to name only one thing. What fictional food item from a television show, cartoon, movie, or video game have you always wanted to try? Hm. There's a lot that has looked super good, really. What’s something that gets much more hate than it deserves? Nickelback, lmao. What phrases or sayings drive you crazy? "Everything happens for a reason," "it could be worse/some people have it worse," "it's all part of God's plan," "just think positive"... a lot of stuff. Do you have a deviantART? I do, even though Eclipse made it fucking suck. I only really stay because I cling to the dying hope of being at least somewhat successful on there, and I enjoy keeping tabs on the artwork of the hundreds of people I watch there. Who is your favorite character in your favorite movie? Mufasa, even if he doesn't last long in the movie. :''''''( Have you ever been to Germany? No, but I'd love to! What is your favorite holiday? Christmas. Have you ever been ice skating? No. The blades on the skates scare me. Have you ever taken a karate class? No. Do you have any nieces or nephews? I have a lot, if you include my half-siblings' kids. Do you own an Xbox? Nah, I've always been a PlayStation gal. Would you date someone who’s well-known for cheating? Nope. Would you break up with someone your parents didn’t approve of? No. I'd consider their reasons, but ultimately, it's about me loving the person. Could you be in a relationship without sex? Yeah, sure. It's not ideal, but I mean if the other person is just very opposed, I'm certainly not forcing them. Emotional intimacy is more important to me, anyway. Have you ever been “friendzoned”? Yep. :') Briefly, anyway. Jason tried for my sake, but it was VERY short-lived by no one's fault but my own because all I know how to do is fuck shit up when it comes to him. Which “famous couple” is your favorite? LOOK Mark and Amy are FUCKIN GEMS Have you ever “destroyed” a relationship? Pretty fucking much. Are you the “dominant” or the “submissive” part in a relationship? I'm submissive by nature. Do you think Valentine’s Day is overrated? No, I think it's a cute holiday. Which do you feel is worse of the two to smoke: weed or tobacco? Well, weed has more carcinogens, but at least it has actual health benefits. Who did you last see that you haven’t seen in ages? *shrug* Are you photogenic at all? God no.

[homosociallyyours]

Nosy meme: 2, 6, 12, 13, 19, 20, 22, 29, 33, 47, 50. 💜

OMG thank you Brynn!! So many questions to answer :) I’m putting it under a cut bc I know it’s gonna get long...AND YES IT DID. 

2) What are you obsessed with right now? Below Deck, this ridiculous Bravo show that follows a charter yacht through an 8 week season of trips. It’s dramatic and full of wealthy people like most Bravo shows, BUT it’s also following the people who staff the boat, not the guests, so it’s more relatable than Real Housewives. I just wrote a one shot ficlet about 2 of the women on one of the more recent seasons yesterday. Ridiculous. 

6) Describe your dream home. I feel like I always have a slightly different answer for this. Right now: my ideal home would be pretty small, maybe 700-800 sq ft, with a single bedroom, painted a vibrant pink and accented with green and white (think climbing vines with tiny, bright white blooms) and a small alcove done in a pale blue that housed a murphy bed for guests. The kitchen would be ultra organized to optimize space (I would NOT be the one to do this) and would be equipped with an air fryer, slow cooker, instant pot, and microwave in addition to standard brand new appliances. There’s a fold down table that can seat up to 4 in the kitchen, though it’s usually just set up for me. The bathroom has a shower done with celadon green tile with a bench seat built in and glass doors. The living room is small and simple, but there’s a big comfortable grey couch and a tv. The whole house has hardwood floors, and the windows each have a bit of stained glass in them up top so the light is sometimes colored as it filters in. There’s a covered carport with a doggie bath area and a chest freezer, and in the fenced back yard there’s a hot tub and comfortable lounging furniture among all the greenery. The house doesn’t have a lawn tho, fuck that. You can’t hear sounds from the street-- it’s a quiet house. I live alone unless i want a visitor. It sounds so nice.  

12) What’s one of your fantasies? Having my dream home as above, lol. But really my most typical fantasy is being able to afford a weekend away at a fancy airbnb by the ocean that allows dogs. It turns out the owner is fat butch dyke who loves dogs and we end up playing scrabble together sitting at a picnic table outside. She offers to cook me dinner; I put together a cheese plate while she grills steaks and broccoli, and we basically fall in love, turning my silly 2 day vacation into a lifetime of slow, sweet, happy love. ://////////

13) Do you have/would you get your nipples pierced? I would, maybe? But also idk bc they’re extremely sensitive already and I don’t want them to lose sensation BUT i also don’t want them to be more sensitive bc that could cause legit problems. 

19) If you could change your name, would you? What would you change it to? Nah, I like my name. Though if I were going to change it I think I would just go by a variation of my first name-- Dottie. 

20) What is something you’re obsessed with? Other than Below Deck? Yorkshire Gold tea. I bought it bc Louis Tomlinson drinks it and my whole life changed for the better. It’s SO FUCKING GOOD, ok? It rarely tastes bitter, even when you accidentally oversteep it, and the flavor and aroma are surprisingly complex for a simple black tea. I have been into teas since I was a teenager, and while I could never entirely give up some of my single origin black teas, Yorkshire Gold is my current (forever?) go to for a daily cuppa. 

22) Tag someone you think is hot. HELP I don’t experience attraction this way anymore :p Literally idk who to tag?? WAIT @mxaether!!! Kams is super hot in all the ways, I adore them so much. 

29) What’s the most overrated movie? In general anything directed or written by a white man who’s made lots of movies. I really try not to watch slogs like that anymore, but the last movie I watched that genuinely made me want to yell was The Dark Knight. Do I remember the plot? NO bc my ass was BORED BORED BORED and when I kinda thought it was about to be over NOPE! there was another hour of the movie left. Fuck that garbage. I haven’t seen it but I’m pretty sure I’d feel the same about that Snyder cut of Justice League. I read a long synopsis/breakdown of the movie (from someone who loved it!!!) and spent the whole time frowning with disgust bc it sounded like The Worst Thing I Could Ever Sit Through. 

33) If money was no object, what would your wardrobe be like? For the most part, not that different? I would have an endless supply of incredibly soft, comfy leggings with bright, eye-catching colors and patterns along with stretchy, form fitting dresses that were equally loud. Soft, loafer style slippers in a variety of colors. All my under things would be high end and custom made (also colorful! no white underpants! ever!) I would also have access to ultra fancy party clothes: stretchy, body con jumpsuits with plenty of sparkle (picture: a coppery jumpsuit that fits tight through the hips and ends with a high waist, the top slit in a deep V but draping softly with a bit of volume. The back has a light, diaphanous, cape of sorts), twirly dresses, etc. Everything is INCREDIBLY comfortable and easy to move in, but glam and fun and whimsically sexy?  

47) If you could marry any celebrity, who would you pick? None celebrity, left beef. :P Truthfully tho it’s Alex Guarnaschelli...she cooks for me, I serve her in any and every way she wants or needs. Would also say Lizzo but I worry that her partying days are still here and I know I wouldn’t be able to keep up. 

50) What’s your favorite kind of weather? Sunny but breezy, almost cool in the shade, for midday. In the evening the temperature drops enough that you’re grateful for a sweater but not so much that you’re ever actually chilled, and around 2am there’s a light but steady rain for an hour or two that’s barely noticeable by noon the next day. 

If anyone read all of these and for some reason wants to send me more, the asks are here

[cake-in-a-tin]

welcome to our mayhem

hi! Welcome to my first attempt at a text fic, idk how good it ‘tis, but let me know what you think! (lils-Lily, burgerz-Mary, queen-Marlene, wonderland gurl-Alice, dork-Dorcas)

tHe BaEs

Lils: yo dudes

Burgerz: waddup

Lils: imma add this girl who’s joining tomorrow if that’s ok - we’re old friends from like nursery

Queen: sure, is that dorcas meadowes ?

Queen: I think I’m her tour guide or some shit

Wonderland gurl: sorry I was sleeping

Wonderland gurl: what did I miss

Queen: wHaT dId I mIsS

Queen: hEaDfIrSt InTo A pOlItIcAl AbYsS

Burgerz: i been in paris meeting lotsa different ladayys

Wonderland gurl: I guess I practically missed the late eightaysss

Queen: travelled the whole wiiideee world and came back to this

Lils: pleeeeassse not again....

Lils: mar I thought you were on my side???

Queen: sorryyyyyy

Queen: I couldn’t resist it

Queen: it was perfect!

Wonderland gurl: it was indeed. I set you up fuckin perfectly u are very much welcome biatch

Burgerz: *slow claps in appreciation*

Lils: anyways imma add this girl now, she is dorcas mar and she’s lovely so be nice!

Lils added Dork

Lils: welcome to our mayhem love 

Dork: hii 

Lils: shall we all like introduce ourselves?

Queen: k, I’m first

Queen: hello, I am Marlene McKinnon, and I’m your stupid tour guide thing that Dumbledore thought was a good idea

Burgerz: hi, I’m Mary MacDonald (hence the name) and I’m very bad at maths, which is also my only personality trait

Wonderland gurl: hello there, my name is Alice Fortescue (don’t try and spell it it took me almost seven years of my life) and I have a fucked up sleep schedule tm

Lils: everyone knows me uwu 

Dork: okay, im Dorcas Meadowes, and I’m just a bi disaster haha

Queen: lol mood

Wonderland gurl: oh btw dorcas we are all lgbtq+ soo 

Dork: okay cool 

Queen: ya, I’m gay, lils is pan, mary is aroace and alice is queer

Wonderland gurl: yh I’m figuring it out but ik girls are pretty as well so :)

Dork: can relate lol

Wonderland gurl: I should probably sleep it’s school and I haven’t slept properly in like three fuckin daysss

Queen: gurrrrllllll omg u r gonna dieee tomorrow

Wonderland gurl: ik im scared and it’s only seven thirty but i will sleep like four and a half hours of that because I just watch netflix aaahh

Burgerz: just gooo Ali, otherwise u will regret everything

Wonderland gurl: k byeee bitchez

Lils: bye

Queen: bye love

Burgerz: cheerio

Dork: bye I think?

Lils: we're all a mess, u get used to it dw 

Lils: also Mary can u get anymore stereotypical British omg

Burgerz: I’m sorry babe it’s in my natureeee

Queen: lol

Queen: I ghibhjfyfvbss

Dork: r u ok?

Queen: a frickin moth bro 

Queen: it attacked me and I’m scared because I didn’t see where it went

Lils: I’m rooting for you love

Queen attached a video

Burgerz : omg I’m dyingggg your voicem u sound so scared

Queen: lmao I was scared for my life if I’m being honest 

Dork: ahahahaha I’m laughing out loud and my cat is just looking at me like wtf is wrong with you human

Queen: u have CAT???

Burgerz: you have a cat? I must see him

Queen: lol we are on the same wavelength haha

Burgerz: ✨soulmates✨ Burgerz: but like platonically lol

Dork: here is mouse

Dork attached a photo

Queen: vvffdyujcndh 

Queen: so fuckin adorable

Burgerz: I LOVE him

Lils: I’ve seen him before and I love him, but I don’t think I ever asked - why mouse?

Dork: lmao we just thought it would be ironic

Dork: also he’s never caught a mouse or anything else in his life because he’s too damn lazy

Queen: omg I relate to mouse so much lol

Dork: honestly same 

Lils: dudes we should probs sleep if we want to be beautiful for school

Queen: ugh sleep is so overrated 

Queen: but yeah...

Lils: bye xxx

Burgerz: adios 

Dork: byeee

Queen: see yall tomorrow

Private message: Lils + Queen

Queen: yo, quick question

Lils: shoot

Queen: what does dorcas look like?

Lils: ummm idk, why?

Queen: eh no reason

Lils: she’s black, short dark brown hair, gorgeous blue eyes

Queen: so cute?

Lils: hell yeh

Queen: oh god save me

Lils: yh u will need prayers

Queen: aaaahh 

Queen: well gn 

Lils: night xxx

tHe BaEs

Wonderland gurl: good morning!

Queen: no it is not

Lils: I’m dyingggg cancel schools pls

Wonderland gurl: I slept fuckin amazingly last night soooo :)))))))

Dork: hjeicnefskd 

Dork: I can’t 

Queen: oop me neither mornings are my least favourite thing ever 

Lils: uggghhhhhh 

Lils: sooo jealous of Mary

Dork: why?

Wonderland gurl: she lives rlly close to school so she wakes uo super late and just walks

Dork: wow luckyyyy

Lils: ikrrrr

Queen: I want to sleep

Wonderland gurl: no! remeber what happened last time you were late?

Queen: oh god don’t remind me

Dork: do I even want to know?

Queen: nkt really lol

Queen: lily u tell it I need to shower

Lils: okayyy

Lils: get ready for a fuckin wild ride babe

Lils: so, we have this teacher called McGonagall and she’s the single most terrifying yet amazing person ever to teach us

Wonderland gurl: and that’s saying something trust me

Lils: she’s pretty chill until u do something that pisses her off. And one thing that pisses her off is people being late. Marlene was late because she couldn’t get her lazy ass out of bed, and she came into form time like ten minutes after the bell rang. as you can imagine, McGonagall was not at all pleased at this, and proceeded to give mar a lecture in front of the whole class and then give her detention for a whole week. Before school.

Wonderland gurl: Marlene looked sooo tired the whole week

Dork: wow, that is ✨brutal✨ Dork: remind me never to be late

Lils: will do x

Wonderland gurl: we have to remind Marlene every once in a while of the ‘‘incident’ to motivate her to get out of bed

Queen: I’m back dudes 

Queen: so you see dorcas that is why I am never ever late anymore because that week was absolute hell I am not going through again.

Queen: ever

Dork: honestly I’m scared to meet this teacher lmao

Wonderland gurl: nah she’s actually soo nice unless you get on her bad side

Burgerz: heyyyy

Lils: maryyyy

Dork: hello!

Burgerz: so, everyone ready for school?

Queen: pretty much, I’m on the train rn

Lils: same, I’m opposite her

Dork: oooh I am also travelling by train I will try to find u guys 

Queen: we are right at the end, if I see you I will scream ‘cheese’ as loud as I can

Lils: noooooo please, can’t embarrassing us in public wait at least a day

Queen: nope

Dork: u don’t even know what I look like lmao

Queen: I will know

Lils attached a video file

Dork: lmao i was terrified

Queen: it worked though 

Wonderland gurl: I’m so glad I get the bus and don’t have to endure this

Burgerz: wow. How are you not embarrassed Marlene?

Queen: idk, I guess I don’t care what oriole think lol

Dork: rEsPeCt

Dork: also please never again

Private message: Lils + Dork

Dork: LILY WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME MARLENE WAS ACTUALLY SO BEAUTIFUL IM DYING 

Lils: lmao sorry

Private message: Lils + Queen

Queen: oh god u were right she’s so hot helppppp

Lils: I’m praying 4 u

hii! I hope that you liked this mess, I’m probably going to continue it, so yeah, let me know what you think?

[diversesocietynaj-blog]

I’m finna break down the starting line-up and 6th man for the colors women utilize on their nails and toes.

THE NAIL-TOE POLISH INFINITY STONES

What it do? It’s been a few years since ya boy been here but I’m back like I never left. Today I’m gonna talk about the colors the womenz use on their nails and toes and break down what that color means. If you reading this, take mental notes, because this can save you from getting involved in a terrible situation. And btw, no, I do not suck toes I just cherish and appreciate a woman that take care of them shits. Now that that’s out the way, let’s get started.

1st. At point Guard, we have the white toes. No matter what your ethnicity is, no matter how bright, dark, pale, or tanned your skin is, white toes is undefeated. When processed and layered correctly, there’s no way white toes will fail you. White toes will have a beat shorty move up a couple ranks when you see them out and about. Me, I’m picky, but I know it’s a lot of savage heathens out there that doesn’t care about a thing. This here is your tesseract from Marvel’s “Captain America,The First Avenger. The first toe infinity gem. This doesn’t mean all white toes are going to be fire. Make sure you fellows check for the knicks and scratches, (and try to do it before she blurts it out) too. Nah boo-boo, you ain’t finna get off just cause you said it out loud before my eyes shifted down to them thangs. I’m finna fire you up in front of everyone so you know not to make this mistake again. When the toes white, you gotta do hourly checks, set some alarms on your phone or something. Keep them in top shape at all times. White toes are usually a great sign, everything is in tact, shorty isn’t crazy, although I was wrong maybe 2 times out of a million, those are still OK numbers, right?

2nd. French tips. Like white toes, I have yet to see any misses with this wave. This wave looks even better when you have one of them jobs that require you to dress business-savvy. Spanish women are undefeated with the French tips. A miss has never been reported. Bro. I was watching the Selena movie, with J-Lo...funny thing, I wasn’t even looking at J-Lo(we know her stance is solidified out here) but her fan-club president Yolanda that killed her (RIP) had the French tips in one scene. Now, Yolanda isn’t someone you’d normally talk about, but the fact that it caught my eye on HER, powerful. That is why this is your power infinity stone. Spanish women will forever hold the belt when it comes to the French tips.

3rd. But before that, RIP KOBE. So, my small forward is going to have to go to matte black. Buuuuut☝🏾, it’s one of them colors you have to pull off correctly. You can’t have matte black the same length of time you would have the white or French tips. It just doesn’t go right with every single thing. For example, casual events requiring y’all to wear dresses, and you have yellow or pink or one of them fluorescent colors, matte black shouldn’t be your choice of color for the nails and tosies B. I’m not saying it’ll look awful, but you can come better than that. That’s going to throw the vibes completely off. Come in here looking like that, I’m gonna have to assume that Lil Peep’s greatest hits is heavy in your rotation (RIP) . Nah, I’m good. How deceiving the matte black can be, this is your mind stone, held by the one and only Loki, the irony!😂

4th, we have our power forward: yellow. This the color for our Nubian queens. But I will say, all ethnicities can pull this off, but In this category the Spanish delegation comes in last. But it’s not a bad last, it looks good on y’all! It’s just that it’s so close to your complexion, it look like y’all got extendos on y’all fingers. Like why you and Lord Voldemort got the same hand size shorty? You out here palming basketballs and shit. I’m good. White women can pull this off for sure but black women crushes the competition for this one. Dark skin or light. Sometimes It can fail the Lightskin complexion cause it’ll put you in the same boat with the Spanish women. But it’s not a complete failure, it’ll still look good. And it’s super dope on darkskin women cause it brings out light on top of the dark chocolate beauty. I do have my worries with the yellow colored warriors though. From my experience, the girl was either sidity or conceited. That’s not fact that’s from my experience, again. Yellow toed girls the type to want to showcase on every single social media platform the same pic over and over again for likes and thirsty folks to comment just making their heads bigger. The look is there but what it means, makes you want to think about the risk you’re about to take. Think long and hard on it Kings. Black women for the win, so it’s only right this is our soul stone.

At the 5, we have teal. Slept on but very dominant!! Teal one of them colors that’s gonna always catch your attention. Definitely held down by the white women, and they crush it every time. It’s more of a summer, beach type wave, but believe me, if it’s December and it’s 6 inches of snow on the ground and the nails and toes teal, I will not be mad at you..not one bit. This isn’t fact but my outlook on it, teal one of them sneaky colors. You don’t think about it but when you see it, you like oooh shit. Makes you think about the girl, right? Who knows what tricks she might have up her sleeve. I’m still doing my studies and research on teal as the days goes by but this one is in the air. I gotta hit a gym or a Starbucks and gather some more data for my lab. Since I have to play the guess game at the moment with this one, by default this is the reality stone.

* I am only allowed 10 GIFs per post and I am out so just know the picture for 6th man is Jamal Crawford and the last stone is the Time stone.*

For our 6th man, off the bench, helping contribute to the cause is orange. Orange, like the first 2 is elite with ANY nationality. Black white Spanish Asian...wait..

*I feel like I have to do this. Asian woman run the whole nail game in general. 9x out of 10 they the ones making sure your nails and toes right, and making sure it’s not a miss in sight! I have never seen an Asian girl with fucked up, chipped, or scratched nails. They shit be flawless! I went to a grade school that was predominantly black and Asian. I remember around that time when girls were trying to get right and doing nails themselves, the Asian girls would come in cruuuuushing shit. 😂😂😂 I HAD to give y’all the special shout-out out, you are appreciated for taking care of the womenz. Back to business.*

I feel like if her nails are orange, it’s an indicator that she is shy, nervous, etc. You gotta watch how you approach them, you just tryna get shorty number and next thing you know she put the supreme vice grip on her purse. The heel cadence is picking up faster and faster. Abort mission bro. If you know like I know, dip! You wasting your time, which is why this is the time stone.

I don’t trust red polish at all. No matter your ethnicity, nationality, religion, political stance.. shit, if you family and come to the reunion with it, I ain’t believing nothing you tell me. But red just got that I’m flirty, I can do bad and not care, I know I’m the shit, I’ll put a knife to your balls while your sleep type vibe. I ain’t with it. It’s overrated also.

Aight yall, that’s it, when you see those colors remember what I said. And remember, in “life goes on” with Lil Baby and Lil Uzi Vert, Gunna said “I like when that white on her toes.” Game over.

And I wish one of y’all would try to say this post racist or anything of that nature. I’ve had black, white, Asian, Spanish and Native American toes twiddling on my lap before you made it to first base. I don’t see color.

IG: Heartbreak_buck

Twitter: najBUCK_

💔💸

[caatws]

tagged by @justanalto to answer some questions !! :)

1. What is the color of your hairbrush? it’s like a blueish/greenish color and has moana on it! i usually comb my hair so i bought that brush just bc it was moana themed a few years ago lol. i don’t use it often

2. Name a food you never eat. there are many.....#justchildhoodocdthings ermmmm i don’t eat a lot of snack foods like chips or goldfish

3. Are you typically too cold or too warm? too warm, esp these days bc the weather is hella warming up so i wake up feeling hot a lot

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago? i was working on some post-grad work stuff and then crossed over into my roommates’ room to watch the facebook livestream graduation 2020 thing cuz miley was on singing the climb

5. What is your favorite candy bar? i love a good hershey’s special dark chocolate moment

6. Have you ever been to a professional sports event? yes, quite a lot actually! my mom is super into sports, so i grew up going to a handful of pro sports games - mlb, nba, and nhl. never nfl tho bc my mom said the price of tix wasn’t worth it LMAOOOO. also when the olympics are here in la in like 8 years i wouldn’t mind checking out some events here !!

7. What is the last thing you said out loud? i asked my roommate if she wanted me to close the door as i was leaving her room bc she was abt to hop on a zoom call

8. What is your favorite ice cream? chocolate.....esp if it’s dark chocolate which is Rare

9. What was the last thing you had to drink? starbucks peppermint hot chocolate bc i’m a basic bitch!!!!

10. Do you like your wallet? yeah, i only upgraded from my middle school wallet like back in 2018 to a normal adult looking one. it’s purple and has enough pockets for all my shit! still bulky tho

11. What was the last thing you ate? ....nothing LMFAOOOO lunch is usually my first meal of the day and i haven’t had it yet. but last night i had ramen for dinner

12. Did you buy any new clothes last weekend? last time i bought clothes was i ordered one of the black widow hoodies from hot topic like a month ago....other than that i have not gone clothes shopping since pre-quarantine

13. The last sporting event you watched? i don’t even know....i didn’t watch the super bowl, so it’d either be some time my roommate was watching hockey on our tv or whatever sports my mom was watching when i was still home for winter break in january

14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn? KETTLE CORN!!!!

15. Who is last person you sent a text message to? i sent a pic of miley singing the climb on the fb livestream on my friend’s laptop to my fam being like “lol miley is our commencement performer!!!!” and my mom was just like cool

16. Ever go camping? yes unfortunately....never for more than a night at a time tho bc i literally Cannot

17. Do you take vitamins? no bc what is Health

18. Do you go to church every Sunday? used to back in the days of catholic school (pre college), but now no longer

19. Do you have a tan? nah bc we can’t go outside bro

20. Do you prefer Chinese food or pizza? chinese food 100% i personally think pizza is overrated

21. Do you drink soda with a straw? i don’t believe i ever do tbh

22. What color socks do you usually wear? i only own socks with colorful patterns/designs on them which is extra but very me i suppose

23. Do you ever drive above the speed limit? always! (a reasonable amount over tho, like within 5-10 mph over...this is average for californians, while many others speed hella)

24. What terrifies you? not a fan of heights nor uncertainty, and this pandemic has essentially destroyed my post grad hopes/plans and now i enter an uncertain future

25. Look to your left, what do you see? my bed, with a lot of stuff piled on top

26. What chore do you hate? all of them???? i guess doing the dishes mostly tho bc i hate the smell of wet dishes with food waste/residue on them and it just feels so gross i can’t

27. What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? i think wow australia sounds like a wild country

28. What’s your favorite soda? orange soda 4ever

29. Do you go into a fast food place or just hit the drive-thru? drive-thru if i can !!! but i don’t mind going in if there’s ample parking available

30. Who’s the last person you talked to? my roommate, when i asked if she wanted me to close the door LMAO

31. Favorite cut of beef? all of them????? i’m not picky with meat dsflkbn

32. Last song you listened to? as i was driving back into my garage the radio station i was listening to started playing sugar we’re going down which threw me for a time loop

33. Last book you read? i’ve been reading fanfic mostly recently so ig whatever the last thing i read for my internship weeks ago was, it would be that

34. Favorite day of the week? even tho time doesn’t matter in quarantine, i’ll always be a friday stan

35. Can you say the alphabet backwards? i used to be decent at it but i’m out of practice now. i’ll try to just type it rly quickly and see: zyxwvutsrqponmlkjihgfedcba (ok so this took me like 5ish secs to type so that’s p good!)

36. How do you like your coffee? i don’t! i just drink peppermint hot chocolate :^)

37. Favorite pair of shoes? my doc martens, but they are now out of season for most of the rest of the year bc i live in southern california where it’s Hawt so i probs won’t wear them again til december

38. The time you normally go to sleep? sometime between 1 and 3 am

39. The time you normally get up? sometime between 9 and 11 am

40. What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? sunsets are dope!!!

41. How many blankets on your bed? three, including my sheet, comforter, and a small quilt

42. Describe your kitchen plates. some are just round and plain white, some are round and white with a red decorative border, one is a pokémon plate meant for children that i bought cheap at target

43. Do you have a favorite alcoholic beverage? piña colada!!! but if i’m trying to get drunk i need vodka or somethin

44. Do you play cards? not much tbh! my apartment has been on a mahjong streak as of late

45. What color is your car? silver!!

46. Can you change a tire? no i’m useless but also my parents believe i’ll get murdered if stuck on the side of the road (which is possible) so they’d prefer me to call aaa for help

47. Your favorite province? uhhhhhhh no provinces here in the u.s. but canada has provinces and i went to british columbia (to visit vancouver) once as a kid so???? if we talking states tho y’all know i will die for california

48. Favorite job you’ve ever had? honestly my job at my school’s mail center this past year was rly cool! my boss was so great and the other student workers were chill, so it was a nice environment and i enjoyed learning all these mail-related skills

49. How did you get your biggest scar? i have no scars ;))))

50. What did you do today that made someone else happy? i had my final appointment with my therapist from my school since i graduated, so i thanked him for working with me the past year and a half!

i tag: anyone who wants to do this, i’m lazyyyyy hehe so feel free to steal!!!! i wanna read y’all’s answers

[musiclovingbitch]

Oh I want all of them 1-50!

Fuck. I brought this onto myself. Putting this under a read-more so that people don’t kill me.

1. What was your first fic and could you stand to reread it today?

I don’t think any of you know this but the first fic I ever wrote was a Shameless one-shot that was titled ‘Mine’ and it was just semi-good, semi-bad smut. The first and last fic I ever posted on fanfic.net, actually. I deleted it years ago and didn’t save a copy, so it’s gone forever now…

2. What’s your most recent fic and how far do you think you’ve come?

My most recent fic is Part, written for the 2019 Klaine Advent Challenge, and also the gleepotluckbigbang. I’m fallen majorly behind cause I have some studying to do, so I may take a long while to finish the rest of the klaine advent.

It’s much, much better than Mine was, lol.

3. In your opinion, what’s your best fic?

Oh, that’s so difficult. While I’m not happy with everything I’ve posted, there’s a bunch that have a special place in my heart. Escape came to mind first, partly because I love older!Blaine fics, which is kind of shocking to me cause it’s one of the very first fics I ever wrote, and statistically I tend to like my older fics less.

4. In your opinion and without looking at any numbers, what’s your most popular fic?

I have looked at the numbers before, though not recently, so I have an idea.

I think Escape is the reigning queen right now, actually, but Incapacitated by Love and The Effects of Cookies on Shy Teenagers are gunning for her crown, lol.

5. Is there any fic that makes you super happy to reread and remember you wrote that?

I don’t tend to reread any of my fics, but like I said, there are a few that I love. Escaped and Incapacitated by Love are two of them, along with Together, I Need A Gangsta, and Question.

6. Is there any fic that makes you super embarrassed to reread and remember you wrote that?

Uh, one of the reasons I don’t reread my fics is the cringe factor, so, no. I reread Mine a couple of years after I posted it and it made me delete it, so. I think it’s in everyone’s interest that I don’t.

7. What’s the fic you most want to continue (unfinished or no)?

I don’t write multi-chaptered fics, so, not in that regard, but.

When I first posted I Need A Gangsta, I had a surprisingly large amount of people asking for a sequel. It’s been years since I posted it, but last week I started thinking about it and I have a little bit of inspiration, so. You may wanna look for that in the upcoming months. (I have exams coming up, be patient.)

8. What’s the oldest (longest since last update) fic you most want to continue (unfinished or no)?

Again, I don’t write multi-chaptered fics, but.

I got asked for a sequel to one of the fics I wrote for the 2015 Klaine Advent, Wish, which is inspired by Aladdin. I haven’t gotten around to it yet… *hides in shame*

9. Have you ever written for a fandom without watching/reading/playing the source material?

Nah. I’m not sure if I could. Although, I do usually write AUs, so. I think some of them could fit pretty much any pairing.

10. Have you ever written for a fandom without reading other fanfic for it?

I hadn’t read any Shameless fanfic before writing and posting my own. But I read klaine fanfic for years before I attempted writing it.

11. Have you ever written a fic for a concept you know someone else has done before? How did it impact your writing process or feelings after posting?

Nothing specific comes to mind right now? I do occasionally get inspired by prompts, (and you can all blame @slayediest​ for reblogging them onto my dash) and they obviously get used by a whole bunch of people, but usually inspiration for different fics comes a little more naturally, like I’ll hear a song or whatever. 

I did write a fake dating au and I was nervous about writing it, I took more care than usual if that makes sense, and that was both because it’s such an iconic trope, but also because it was a gift to the delightful @lilyvandersteen​, so I was even more anxious than usual after posting it cause I was waiting to see if she liked it or not.

12. Have you ever written a fic and decided never to publish it? Why?

There are so. many. fics. in my drafts folder, but all but two are unfinished. Those two that are finished but not published I just don’t like very much. I keep them with the intent of re-writing the parts I don’t like and posting them. Eventually, hopefully, I’ll get around to that.

13. What’s the biggest change between your style when you started in fandom and today?

I’m more comfortable writing now than back when I first started, I guess? I was way more hesitant then.

I do write better smut now.

14. What’s the biggest change in your taste between when you started in fandom and today?

Let’s just say I’m into some kinky shit now and it’s definitely because of late nights spent on AO3.

Trope-wise, not much has changed about my preferences.

15. Have you ever purposefully written one fandom/fic idea over another because you knew it’d be more popular?

Nah. I don’t vibe like that. The words don’t come out of me.

16. Have you ever stopped writing a fic/for a fandom because it wasn’t receiving enough attention?

Nope.

17. In your opinion, what’s your most overrated fic?

It’s definitely Closer. I was debating not posting it and it has more hits than it has words, I really don’t get it.

18. What’s your most underrated fic?

I’m not sure. I feel like I’d be nagging if I said, oh hey not enough of you guys read/liked/reblogged this fic of mine. 

People have their preferences. I’m okay with that.

19. If you had to pick one fic/scene/chapter of your work to describe your entire portfolio to a stranger, which would you pick?

Fuck. Maybe Together? It has the mix of intense angst/sappy romance that you’ll find in my fics 100% of the time.

20. Have/Would you ever rewrite a fic? If yes, would you take the original down?

I haven’t, and I don’t think I will. I don’t tend to linger over fics once I’ve posted them.

21. If someone starts kudosing and commenting your fics in a spree and has a few works of their own, would you go look through theirs?

This has happened three times and I loved it every single time. I would definitely check out their profile, yes. 

22. Has there ever been anyone who’s made you freak out because they read your work and followed/favorited/reviewed?

Are you kidding me? Literally all of you, yes. Fandom royalty has read my work, bitches. 

23. What’s the nicest review you’ve ever gotten?

Oh, god. Someone commented that I made them cry, it was the best, it made my entire week.

24. What’s the meanest review you’ve ever gotten? Do you think the reviewer intended it?

I’m very lucky in that aspect, I’ve never gotten hate in regards to my fic. 

I did write a fic where Blaine and Sam were teaching a CPR class that Kurt was in, and at the end, I had Sam interrupt them while they were speaking, and someone left a mean comment about Sam? I smelled fandom wank and did not engage.

25. What constructive criticism, however well-meaning, always makes you feel bad when you see it in a review?

Haven’t gotten any of that.

26. What aspect of your writing do you most enjoy to see praised?

I like making people feel things. If you tell me I made you feel good or bad with my fic, I’m going to be delighted.

27. If you could only ever write crossovers or single-fandom fics ever again, which would you pick?

Single-fandom fics.

28. if you could only ever write for a single crossover or a single fandom again, which would you pick?

Glee, obvi. I’d never give you cuties up.

29. Does the division of your writing across fandoms line up with your reading? What’s the biggest discrepancy?

Well, although I have considered writing for some of my other fandoms, it just hasn’t felt right. That may change in the future, and that’ll be an interesting day.

30. Do you continue to write for a fandom after you’ve moved on or do you focus solely on the new one?

I think klaine has become such an important part of my life that I don’t see myself giving it up entirely.

31. Who’s the one character you’ve just never managed to get perfectly right?

I don’t think I have ever gotten any character perfectly right, but that’s okay. It helps that the majority of my fics are AUs, so I don’t feel a lot of hesitation having them do or say some OOC things.

32. Who’s the one character who shines without you even trying?

I think I’ve nailed Kurt and Blaine at different scenes in different fics, but no particular character comes easy to me.

33. Is there any particular character whose scenes always wind up being longer/more frequent than you expected? Does the quality hold up?

Rachel kind of takes over sometimes and I have to go back and edit things out, lol. That’s just her diva way.

34. Was there any fic that you wrote that really surprised you in the fandom reaction? Was it just by the numbers or did they take it an entirely different way?

I think the one that surprised me with just how much response it received (I know that phrasing is wrong but I can’t be bothered right now) is Incapacitated by Love. Who knew people in the glee fandom had a thing about police officer!Blaine.

35. Have you ever written a ship into a fic without meaning to?

I keep klaine as the main focus, so the backround couples switch up ocassionally and I don’t particularly care.

36. Have you ever sincerely written a ship you do not support into a fic?

Nope.

37. Have you ever purposefully bashed a character/ship in a fic?

Not that I can remember.

38. Have you ever purposefully written something you know your readers would find uncomfortable/would not enjoy? If yes, why?

I don’t think so?

39. Do you consider yourself to have a readership?

Not really. Although if any of you consider yourself to be a loyal reader of mine, please let me know.

40. Do you feel like you put out enough content?

No, that’s kind of the worst part about my muse, she’s a flighty bitch.

41. If you cross-post your fics on multiple sites, do you have a favorite? Are there certain fics you would only post on certain site?

AO3 is the best. Tumblr can suck my dick.

42. How many views has your most popular fic gotten?

Incapacitated by Love has 1554 hits! Wow.

43. Your least popular?

Ground has only 95 hits, but I posted it a few days ago.

44. Do you follow/favorite/kudos/comment/review more stories than you have received?

I have no idea what this question is asking.

45. If you had to call yourself an author of a single genre (besides fanfic) what label would you give yourself?

AU all the way, baby, although that’s apparent.

46. Do you consider yourself a diverse author?

No, I think I have a very specific style. I dither in between gut-wrenching angst and tooth-aching fluff. That’s it, that’s my fics.

47. If someone you know in real life who isn’t involved in fandoms asked to read your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you recommend they read first?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. There’s too much gay porn and I’m too closeted for this shit.

48. Does anyone you know from outside of fandom know you write fanfic? Are they involved in the same fandom too?

Yes, one friend of mine knows, although she doesn’t know what I write, or for which fandom(s).

49. Has anyone in your life ever read your fanfic just because you wrote it?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

50. Has writing fanfic had a significant impact on your life? Would you say it’s entirely positive?

Of course it’s had a massive impact in my life. It’s a huge creative outlet and I’ve ‘met’ so many people because of it! I think it’s like 85% positive.

[surveystodestressme]

211.

3000 question survey pt 1

1.      What is your idea of perfect happiness?

 being healthy and alive and well

2.      What is your greatest fear?

 being killed or kidnapped or just dying in general

3.      What is the trait you most deplore (dislike) in yourself?

 I can be really mean and hurtful

4.      What is your greatest extravagance?

 oh i don’t know

5.      What is your current state of mind?

 i am doing okay. 

6.      What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

 just being a good human being

7.      On what occasion do you lie?

 i try to never lie

8.      What do you most dislike about your appearance?

 i am super acne prone

9.      Which living person do you most despise?

 rapists and murderers, no specific person

10.  What is the quality you most like in a man?

 humor

11.  What is the quality you most like in a woman?

 also humor

12.  Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

 too many of them

13.  What or who is the greatest love of your life?

 my boyfriend or my cat

14.  When and where were you the happiest?

 i don’t know off the top of my head

15.  Which talent would you most like to have?

 i would love to be able to make things or fix things

16.  If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

 i wish i was nicer and was more patient

17.  What do you consider your greatest achievement?

 getting through college (almost, haven’t graduated yet but i’m certain that i will)

18.  If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?

 a golden retriever in a rich home that will spoil me

19.  Where would you most like to live?

 somewhere warm all the time

20.  What is your most treasured possession?

 my cat (don’t really count her as a possession but i treasure her dearly)

21.  What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

 i don’t know

22.  What is your favorite career?

 astronaut

23.  What is your most marked characteristic?

 i like to think i am pretty helpful

24.  What do you value most in your friends?

 honesty and loyalty

25.  Who are your favorite writers?

 i don’t really have one

26.  Who is your hero of fiction?

 *

27.  Which historical figure do you most identify with?

 i don’t know

28.  Who are your heroes in real life?

 my sister and my mother

29.  What are your favorite names?

 i always liked Parker

30.  What is it that you most dislike?

 bad people

31.  What is your greatest regret?

 trying to kill myself when i was younger and all the people i hurt because of it

32.  How would you like to die?

 i would not like to die painfully

33.  What is your motto?

 i don’t really think i have one

34.  Do you like watching reruns?

 yes!

35.  Have you ever won any kind of contest yourself?

 i think so

36.  What gives you cheap thrills?

 i don’t know

37.  What do you think is worth waiting for?

 love

38.  Are you an organ donor, if so why/why not?

 i think so?  I mean if i can be useful after death, why not

39.  Should parenting classes be mandatory for new parents?

 yes, a lot of people i know that have had kids have no idea wtf they’re doing and they are going to fuck their kid up

40.  What is the number one thing people are always asking you for help with?

 advice on relationships, schoolwork, pets, etc.

41.  What movie did you love the original but hated the sequel to?

 there are plenty.

42.  Are you more talk and less action or vice versa?

 more talk lol

43.  Have you ever given someone a handmade present?

 yes! plenty of times. i definitely think that is the best kind of present to get. i love getting handmade presents

44.  What type of person angers you the most?

 rude people and stupid people

45.  Could you live without electricity for a week?

 yeah probably

46.  Do you think Great Britain should be a part of a united Europe?

 i don’t care

47.  Have you ever eaten a whole tube of pringles by yourself?

 probably

48.  Do you like champagne, if so, what is your favorite brand?

 i don’t mind champagne but i would not go out of my way to drink it

49.  What nervous habits do you have?

 i bite my nails, bite my lip, bite the inside of my cheek

50.  What do you do when you and your best friend get into a fight?

 i don’t really fight with my friends.

51.  What do you think should be a wonder of the world that currently isn’t?

 i don’t know

52.  What comforts you on bad days?

 my cat

53.  Do you treat yourself and your body with respect?

 i like to think so

54.  Something you eat that other people would find gross.

 i make ramen and i out ranch, hot sauce, and cheese in it

55.  Have you ever broken the law and didn’t get caught, if so how?

 yeah, trespassed more times than i can count.

56.  Something you fear might change you.

 moving away from my friends and family

57.  What personality trait in people raises a red flag with you?

 arrogance, rudeness

58.  Have you ever resented someone, if so what for?

 yeah but i don’t really remember what for

59.  Do you have a favorite t-shirt, if so what’s on it or what does it say?

 i have plenty of favorite sweatshirts but no favorite shirts

60.  How old do you think is too old to have a baby?

 probably late 40s

61.  How have you changed over the last five years?

 oh god, plenty.  i’m not a suicidal teenager anymore.  i eat now. i don’t hurt myself

62.  Have you ever painted a house?

 the inside

63.  Have you ever had a surprise party (that was an actual surprise)?

 yes!! they are so much fun

64.  What makes you feel miserable?

 when people are mean to me

65.  What’s the best costume you’ve ever worn?

 i was chucky one year, i even did my own makeup

66.  What’s been the hardest loss you’ve had to take?

 my cat, lily, when she passed away

67.  Do you like sunny days or rainy days more?

 sunny

68.  What does your typical Friday night look like?

 usually sitting on my computer playing video games, watching movies/shows, or doing homework/studying.  i rock climb too on fridays

69.  Who is your favorite movie director and what’s your favorite movie from them?

 i don’t really care about the directors of movies, i don’t pay attention to that stuff

70.  What is the furthest you’ve ever got a paper airplane to fly?

 not very

71.  Do you like the person you are becoming?

 i think so, at least for the most part

72.  What’s the highest you’ve ever jumped into the water from?

 not very far.  there is a swing into a creek near my parents house

73.  What inspires your ideas?

 a lot of different things, inspiration comes from everywhere

74.  Have you ever assembled furniture by yourself?

 not by myself

75.  Have you ever bolstered your resume to get a job you really wanted?

 yes

76.  How emotional are you?

 very

77.  Have you ever had an internship, if not what would be your dream intern job?

 i interned at a vet clinic last summer

78.  Do you prefer chicken, beef, or seafood?

 i would usually say beef but lately i’ve been craving seafood

79.  Have you ever had a health scare?

 nah

80.  What do you love most about the holiday season?

 decorating

81.  Do you think a fling could be a good thing?

 sure

82.  What part of your routine do you always try to skip if you can?

 actually doing something with my hair lol. i hate dealing with it

83.  What do or did you hate the most about dating or the dating process?

 i don’t mind dating, it feels good to date but i’m always worried that i will say the wrong thing

84.  What do you frown upon when it comes to raising kids?

 when people raise them wrong

85.  Have you ever been professionally photographed?

 for family photos, yeah

86.  Where or how do you find serenity?

 reading or writing

87.  Do you influence people more than they influence you?

 i don’t know

88.  What can you do to make your life better?

 try harder

89.  If you could ask one person, alive or dead, only one question, what would you ask?

 i would ask any dead person what it is like to die and what comes after, if anything

90.  What is your favorite hiding place?

 someplace where no one would find me

91.  Do you buy anything organic, if so, what is it?

 nope

92.  Describe yourself in terms of food.

 delicious

93.  How could you reinvent yourself?

 plenty of ways

94.  What was the name of the first album you ever bought and who was it by?

 it was one of gwen stefanis first albums but i don’t remember which one

95.  What is your Chinese zodiac sign and is the description accurate?

 aries, i don’t know the description tbh

96.  Do you have any prejudices you’ve admitted to yourself?

 plenty

97.  Who is the very first friend you ever remember making and how old were you?

 kristen in kindergarten

98.  What makes you lose sleep?

 worrying

99.  What are three phases or sayings you say almost every day?

 there are too many

100. Do you floss or use a toothpick when food gets stuck in your teeth?

 yes

[littlemsstark3000]

Fool For You

Five times Tony Stark got jealous but could not admit it, and the one time he did because Natasha made him.

*****

The first time Tony felt that strange feeling because of Natasha was the first time he saw her having a hearty laugh with Happy Hogan. Both would usually be together as they were always needed by him and Pepper then - in the tower, at the parking lot, outside their meeting rooms, at the hotel lobby, or pretty much everywhere they could stand by or sit as they wait - unless the two were required beside them.

"Come on, tell me more. I sure can keep secrets."

Tony overheard Natasha - he still knew her as Natalie that time - chuckling as she spoke to his long-time chauffeur and friend. She sounded more personal and less the professional tone she used on him. Of course, that was a given; he was boss, while Happy was a colleague who has probably turned into a friend also to her after a couple of weeks. The billionaire mechanic admitted that he was not even in the acquaintance department. It was pure employer-employee relationship.

He dismissed the idea of jealousy because why would he be? Does he even like Natalie? She is amazing, beautiful, smart, efficient - yes. But he was already going steady with Pepper. He couldn't like her, could he?

If he was even a bit envious of the scene, it was maybe because... Happy shared his secrets to her?

He wanted to believe that, as much as he now believes that she really can keep secrets.

*****

The second time Tony felt that strange feeling was when Natasha cried on Clint Barton's shoulder. It was at the funeral, two days after Agent Phil Coulson was killed.

Needless to say, he dismissed the uncalled-for emotion. He acknowledged that Black Widow, the only woman in their team a.k.a. Avengers, was very much close to the Hawkeye. He learned that the relationship of these two has come a long way - from Barton saving Natalia Romanova in her deadly assasin past to the two of them being top SHIELD agents and partners. He recognised that it was only to Clint that Natasha could be that vulnerable.

He looked away and did not dwell anymore on this thought. Being jealous of the two was improper with the situation at hand, his mind dictated.

*****

The third time Tony felt that strange feeling was when Natasha left his side to Steve Rogers'. When he was finally able to think things through after his encounter with Captain "sometimes-my-friends-don't-tell-me-things" America and Bucky Barnes, he supposed her initial choice of staying by him was out of pity: over his guilt on Ultron, of him being left by Pepper because he could not give up Iron Man, and maybe she even knew about his parents' tragedy in the hands of Winter Soldier. Along the way though, her loyalty to Steve obviously took over. How could he discount their friendship and long-time SHIELD connection? Heck, she let him escape, and she even went rogue with his team!

Tony would rather feel anger or indifference towards what happened. He hated the situation. He could not hate Natasha though. Deep in his chest, he wished that the care she has shown him before their situation went hayward was true.

He let her in, further than he thought he ever would. He had hopes that things could work out for them... between them...

Consequently, he had more emotions at this point to process than just jealousy.

*****

The fourth time Tony felt the strange feeling again, years after the last, he was in denial. Cap and him have reconciled and the Avengers are back as a team - now, with more than just the original six.  With Clint retiring to farm family life and Thor back in Asgard to lead his people, the Stark Tower-turned-Avengers Compound housed Tony with Natasha, Bruce, Steve, and their new allies Sam, Wanda, Vision, plus the youngest of them all, Peter Parker a.k.a. Spiderman.

He remembered, Natasha barely talked with Peter during his first few days in the compound as Stark Industries intern. Living and training as one team though, Natasha grew fonder of the kid week on week.

If them drawing closer was because of their arachnid blood - she being the Black Widow and Peter the Spiderling - he could only assume. One time, he just spotted them working out together in the gym. The next thing he realized, they already have TV series they regularly watch together and episodes were shown on her days off... which she previously spent hanging around his workshop to help him in tinkering or just talking about random stuff while they drink iced coffee.

He wasn't jealous. He just missed having the redhead around.

*****

The fifth time he felt that strange feeling was when he accidentally heard Natasha talking with someone over the phone and incidentally eavesdropped on the conversation.

He went to her room to check if she wanted waffles and iced coffee to munch on before her favorite series starts, disregarding the fact that he could simply use intercomm or tell Friday to reach her.

But then -

"I don't know, Clint... I really don't. I don't know how it got here... Does it sound terrifying if i say i do?... We stayed here together, that's what happened..."

Her responses were the only ones he could hear from her room's door. How he wished he has super hearing like Cap... or...

Shame, the logical part of his brain commented after he decided to tap on the line discreetly to hear everything.

Again, completely disregarded. He wasn't bothered by Natasha talking with her best friend, but by her seemingly confessing her feelings for someone else!

Clint: So what do you do about that?

Nat: Maybe you can tell me?

Clint: Why me? Tasha, this isn't like tactics in Budapest at all.

Nat: Clint, come on, you gotta help me out here. Between the two of us, you know this better.

Clint: What? Why?

Nat: You're more human.

Clint: Ohhh-kay?

Nat: You have a wife! And probably by now Lila shares same stuff as this with you and Laura.

Clint: Hey, hey. Listen. Why don't you just let it be?

Nat: No. This sucks.

Clint: Natasha, that's okay. You're fine... And I think the guy likes you, too.

Nat: How can you tell that?

Clint: I'm more human. Trust me.

Nat: Ugh.

Clint: Gotta go drive for Laura. Call you back later.

Nat: Alright. Say hello to her and the kids for me.

Tony hurried and went straight to his workshop.

Damn waffles and iced coffee.

He slumped on his couch, looking up the ceiling for minutes. Then he felt like bursting so he voiced out his thoughts. Anyway, it was his safe sanctuary.

"Nat likes someone in the team? Someone in this house? Who's that?"

He noticed from the periphery that Butterfingers moved as if it heard his random musings. Yeah, he needed that. Just someone - or something - to at least listen. Unlike Nat, not in this lifetime will he share something like this to his BFFs, Rhodey or Pepper.

"Come on... Is it still Steve? Bruce? Sam? Vis is with Wanda. No, don't tell me it's Peter! God, that's just a kid!"

Frustrated and still cannot believe what he heard, Tony burried his face in his hands, elbows on his knees.

"Me? No, it can't be me," he immediately dismissed. "That's impossible. I mean, i want it, am i kidding me? Of course, i want it. Damn, but there's not a single sign that it could be me. We hardly talk anymore," he breathed deeply, shut his eyes and rested his head at the backrest of the couch.

"It's more likely to be Bruce, they get along pretty well. Or Sam? His punchlines work? Nah..." Tony shook his aching head. "Steve - they got history. And she told Clint, so maybe it's really Steve. It's always been him."

"Or maybe no."

Tony felt like his soul suddenly left his body with the shock. Natasha just spoke right behind him!

"Nat!" he jumped to his feet and turned towards her. "You there for long?"

"Long enough."

Fuck spy skills.

And he recalled giving her access in his workshop a few months back because he welcomed her to hang around there when she feels like it.

"You..." he motioned his hands as if asking if she heard anything.

The redhead nodded with a smirk. "I heard. Too." Then she meaningfully added. "Karma's a bitch."

Tony sighed.

"Look, Nat... I'm sorry, okay? I don't really do that. Just... It's stupid, really," he avoided her eyes and walked to the other side of his workstation, farther from Natasha with a couple of tables between them, but still facing her.

"Thought you are genius," she crossed her arms on her chest.

Tony shrugged. "Overrated."

"Also thought you'd figure out what you heard."

"Complicated."

"Does it bother you that i like someone in the team?"

"As long as it's not Peter, i'm cool. It's a free country."

"I see."

He did not reply to that, and Natasha spoke again.

"I thought you were jealous, too."

"No -"

"I hoped you were."

His eyebrows furrowed. Did he hear her correctly?

"... because that'd mean I'm not alone in this." Natasha talked nonchalantly but her eyes looked wary as she walked to the couch and sat there, avoiding looking at him.

Tony walked back to the couch and sat too beside her, leaving space between them that could fit another person. He turned his head to look at her and ask, dumbfounded. "Did you just say... I mean, this... Do you think, we..."

"Tony, can you finish at least one thing you are trying to say?" her voice was low, supressing a smile, when she turned her head his way too.

"I am jealous," he just blurted then, staring straight at her.

Finally, there was no need to deny him his own feelings or tag it as simply strange. He had been lingering for a while now. It was time to settle this.

Natasha moved to close their distance and laid her head on his shoulder. He put an arm over hers to pull her closer that she could already kiss the crook of his neck, and her arms automatically wrapped around his waist.

"It's fine. We're alright." It was almost a whisper from Natasha.

He smiled and pressed his lips on her forehead. "Always."

*****

Already posted this on AO3 but I wanted to post it here also because favoritism. 😊

[flightandsurvival]

What’s your name? Cait.

How old are you? 27.

What’s your hair and eye color? Nearly black and dark brown.

How tall are you? 5′3″

What’s your relationship status? Single. 

What’s your favorite song? Hmm... I’m not sure I have one favorite. 

What does that song mean? What is the message behind it? x

Is it your favorite because you relate to it, or do you just like the beat? x

Have any pets? If so, what are they and what’s their names? Dex is a chihuahua, Bean is a torbie.

Have you ever met your idol? If so, were they nice or were they kind of an ass? I have had the unique opportunity to meet a celebrity that I greatly admire and she was very nice. 

What’s your favorite method of gaming? (PC, Xbox, Playstation, etc) None. 

If you’re in college, what’s your major and why did you pick it? I’m getting my master’s in social work. 

How’re you doing today? I had a weirdly great day. 

What color are your bedroom walls? Off white. 

Describe your favorite shirt. My favorite shirt is a mfm merch shirt that says “toxic masculinity ruins the party again.”

Use this space to tell someone off. Nah. 

What’s your view on smart watches? Cool or a waste of money? I think they’re very cool but I am not nearly able to afford one. 

What is one poster that you have hanging on your bedroom wall of? None. 

How many times have you moved in your life? A good handful. 

If you moved, do you like where you are now better than where you were? I like this place, I’ve lived here nearly 4 years. However, I am very excited about the possibility of moving in September. 

What’s your favorite color and why? Purple. It just is. 

Do you have a calendar? If so, what’s the theme? Yes, florals. It’s still on November. 

Have any famous person’s autographs? Nope. 

Do you draw well? Nope. 

What type of cell phone do you have? iPhone xr

Should you be doing anything else right now or are you just bored? I’m bored.

If you’re in school/college, what’s your favorite subject and why? My favorite subject must be social work... since that’s what I’m getting my master’s in. 

Are you a cat or a dog person? Why? Both. I love both my children equally.

Tell me about the plot of your favorite book. Young girl with a lot of cynicism about love finds it, self sabotages, and then gets it back.

Do you wear glasses or contacts? Yes. 

What do you think about horror movies? If you love them (I do), what’s your favorite? I enjoy them immensely. I’m not sure I have a favorite. 

Got any cool Christmas presents picked out for family or friends yet? I got my nephews walkie talkies. 

Do you do Black Friday shopping or wait for Cyber Monday? No. More of a cyber Monday gal. I also like to shop local. 

Have any mental illnesses? General anxiety disorder, panic disorder, and OCD. All three currently under great control. 

What’s your favorite word and why? Fuck. It’s just a great descriptor. 

What is the most expensive thing you own, and what is it? My car. 

Did you buy that item yourself? My mom helped, but then I paid her back because I am an adult. 

Where do you work and what is your postion? I work at a school as a supervisor.

How often do you cuss? Very. 

What type of car do you drive, if any? Chevy. 

Are you happy with it? If no, what’s your dream car? I like it. My dram car will forever be the OG VW bug. 

Do you have a lot of social media accounts? Which ones? Insta and snapchat. 

What is your favorite genre of music? Folk, blue grass, indie, alternative.

Does your family have holiday traditions? If so, what are they? Having some sort of relationship damaging conversation. 

If you’re in a relationship, are you happy with it? Not in one. 

How long have you been with your significant other? x

Do you like psychology? (It’s my college major). I enjoy it, I got my bachelors in psychology. Unfortunately, it’s too narrow a scope which is why I’ve taken up social work. As much as the individual’s brain chemicals matter, what matters more is the systematic garbage and social sanctions that create the individual’s environment and molds how they react and behave. 

What is something your state is popularly known for? Uhhh... Paul Revere.

Do you like to do craft projects? If so, what’s the coolest thing you made? Sometimes but I’m not super creative.

Do you watch sports or do you think they’re overrated? I think they’re overrated. I think that they put people in danger and they create this weird culture of worshiping people who are very flawed. I also think that the money in the industry would be better served elsewhere. 

What’s one occupation you think gets paid too much and doesn’t deserve to? ^ honestly any weird celebrity occupation. It’s a weird culture. 

Do you straigthen your hair? Sometimes. 

Ever dyed your hair a color that isn’t natural? (blue, pink, etc) Yes. 

How’s your relationship with your parents? Right now my relationship is very strained with my mom, which is kind of unusual for us but has been a long time coming. My relationship with my dad, on the other hand, has always been strong- my personality is exactly like his.

Do you still live with them or do you have your own house? I live in an apartment by myself. 

What’s something you are currently saving money for to buy? Possibly a home... within the next 5 years. 

Do you smoke/vape? If so, what brand do you smoke/what device do you use? I smoke weed. I use a pax. 

Ever done drugs? Only marijuana and one time I used adderall to complete a paper.  

Tell me one of your worst habits. Biting my nails. 

What’s a weird quirk you have that no one else you know does? Well, when I’m feeling overwhelmed or anxious I will touch my fingernails to my thumb in a pattern... guess that’s the OCD. 

If you game, what type of headset do you use? I don’t. 

What type of computer do you own, and do you like it? Chromebook. It works for me. 

What’s the thing that annoys you the most? Work politics. 

What brand of TV do you have? Vivio or something like that. 

Are you excited for Christmas? (It’s December 1st today when I made this) I’m excited to have my nephews and nieces around. 

Tell me about your favorite vacation you’ve taken. Phuket, Thailand. I went with one of my best friends for 10 days and soaked up the culture. 

Tell me something cool about yourself. I’m cool in general. 

Did/do you get good grades in school/college? In grade school and high school- not particularly because I didn’t apply myself because I had untreated anxiety and depression. In college I did amazingly because I lived with my dad and had ample support and was doing a lot of great self-care shit. 

What’s your ringtone on your phone? The Office. 

What’s your favorite store to shop in? Book stores. 

If you won the lottery, what is the first thing you would buy and why? I’d pay off the loans.

How long have you had a Bzoink account? No. 

Ever been to Field of Screams? If so, what’s your favorite attraction? No. 

Do you own a Polaroid camera? No.

Do you have hardwood floor in your room or carpet? Hardwood. I hate carpeting. 

It’s a Saturday night, what are you typically doing? I’m either at work or just having a lowkey evening in. 

Do you have a lot of friends or do you not have any at all? I have a lot of friends. 

What’s your all time favorite movie and why? Practical Magic. It’s just a classic. 

How many blankets do you sleep with at night? One. 

What’s the last TV show you watched? Did you enjoy it? Virgin River. It’s fine... but really I don’t “watch” tv... it’s typically background noise. 

Do you prefer cable TV or do you use Netflix? I stream only. 

What is your dream job and why? Therapist specializing in children and adolescents with anxiety disorders. 

Do you think you would be a good therapist? Absolutely. 

What’s your favorite brand of clothing? Not sure...

[jizemderler]

It’s my birthday (yayy) and I‘ve decided to post the first chapter to a story I‘ve been writing. If you like it, I‘ll post more. If you don‘t, I‘ll keep writing for myself.

Enjoy!

One Flower: Camila Monroe is a teen. With her own ups and downs. Her loves and heartbreaks. Her lies and truths. Just one...out of a million flowers. But one flower is always someones favourite flower.

{Part One}

You know those movies or stories where the nerdy but hot girl hates that one super hot guy at school who is a football player, because they always are, but suddenly something happens - let’s say a chemistry project has to be done - and they get paired. Bada bing bada bum a bit of flirtation, drama, one problems or two, making up and a happy ever after.

Yeah that’s not my story though. I am the literal incarnation of the side dish. Don’t get me wrong I’m not the main course but people still like me. But on the side. Like the baby sister of that football player. I’m not hot, not in anyway. Not nerdy hot or innocent hot or any-hot. I’m not ugly either…I’m just me. Regular and invisible. And that’s not going to change throughout the story. No big make over where every guy at school falls in love with me. I’m also not really good at anything in particular. Like I don’t have a secret talent or like a sex dungeon and weird fetishes. I’m average, whatever that means, and I’m cool with it. Always was.

And for the record I said I was the baby sister but the omg-he’s-so-cute brother of mine isn’t that much older. He is a senior and I’m a junior. Not that he would have that overprotective brother thing. He doesn’t. Which I’m glad for. Most people don’t even know that we are siblings - or they choose to ignore it-  because we don’t look alike (duh) and because we don’t talk to each other at school. He lives in his world and I live in mine. Which is also cool with me. We also have a baby brother who is only 9. My mom and pap always wanted two kids but you know…things happen and so you get a kid 7 years apart from your second one. No biggie.

“Camila!”

And that’s the name of the side dish. Nice to meet you.

“Camila Monroe if you don’t come down right away your brother will leave without you!”

And that…that is the voice of my angry mom and my cue to stop daydreaming. I take my backpack and throw it over my shoulder and push my glasses back before going downstairs.

„Why didn’t you guys give me a second name? Like it doesn’t have the same affect when you call me by my full name. Not as dictator-y as it could be.“ I mock her playfully and she rolls her eyes.

„It’s too early for you to be witty with me. And now go. Oh and he is annoyed already. Be nice to him.” my Mom tells me and I roll my eyes. „I’m always nice. Bye mom.“ I answer and give her a kiss before stepping into my boots and walking outside. „You’re late.” he says as soon as I sit shotgun and I groan. “And you’re an ass.” He frowns and I roll my eyes at his mood. Mom was right. „What? I thought we were pointing out the obvious. Can we go?“ He looks at me, his mouth slightly open -ready to shoot back but then his gaze travels over my shoulder which makes me look too. Oh and then there is Noah. His brown hair is a bunch of curls falling into his face, covering some of his forehead, as if he just came out of the ocean. His eyebrows are currently formed into a frown which I know would go away if I would go over them with my thumb, stroking them slightly. As soon as his melty chocolate brown eyes catch mine I shake my head and look back at Jace. Noah is our neighbors kid. Who also happens to be my ex. Noah and I have been close since kindergarden. We developed feelings over the time and fell for each other. We were great together. He was like me in a sence. He was normal.

But then puberty hit him. Like a truck. And things changed. He changed. And I didn’t. Right next to me is Jock number one and over there staring into the car is Jock number 2. He just grew more popular day by day and I was overwhelmed. And that he was a senior didn’t help my self-confidence either. It’s been almost a year since we broke up. You know how you talk to someone until 4 a.m every single day and suddenly you don’t talkt to them at all anymore? That’s us. "Jace.” I say, no more playfullness in my voice and he understands and starts the engine immediatly. We drive in silence and I jump out of the car as soon as he shuts the engine off. “Wait! Take the keys. I’ll be late today.” he says and throws me the keys over the car and I pick them off the ground.

“Nice.”

“Shut up.”

I turn around at the gate and see him meet up with Noah and I cringe and turn around. They’re friends, share classes and they are in the same team of course they’ll meet up. At least Jace is sensitive enough not to do it in my face. As I walk into class I see the one person I’m comfortable around. “Thank god you’re here. I thought you were skipping and I already was planing on a way out. Probably the window. Two floors shouldn’t be that bad.” she jokes and I roll my eyes “Don’t say that.”

“Sure thing. Oh, look who’s coming.”

I put my stuff down and look up while tucking a strand of hair behind my ear and stop mid movement.

I introduced to you all of the people that matter in my life…everyone besides Ethan. He smiles one of his beautiful smiles towards me and winkes before sitting down infront of me.

“I think he has a cr…” Daya starts but I shush her immediatly. Ethan is the kind of guy who could have anyone but doesn’t notice it. He has those kind hazel eyes and wavy blond-ish hair, always a little messy. He himself is really put together though, in a hot way. His muscels help too of course. Definetly not a Jock but he seems to do some kind of sport.

“Don’t even start with that. We’re good friends.” I whisper over to her and she raises her hands above her head and leans back in her chair. “Hey Daya! Why are your arms up? Want to give me a hug?” some dumbass yells and I roll my eyes again. Here we go.

“Why don’t you go fuck yourself Peter? Since that is the only time you will ever get fu…”

“Good morning people! Alissa put that mirror down you don’t look any different than two minutes ago, Peter wipe that overwhelmed expression off your face we didn’t even start the lesson yet…and Daya! I heared.” Professor Khan said and put his bag down onto his desk. He was this old, slim and tall, indian man with grey hair and a grey beard. You could practically see that he was a heartbreaker in his young days. Maybe even now. I kinda liked him as a teacher because he was always chill.

„Alright class, who’s done their assignment?“

A roar goes through class and everybody starts looking around for someone to know what the assignment was but our confusion is ended with Mr Khans gentle laugh.

„Just kidding. I didn’t give you homework over the weekend because I’m that dope.” he says and adds a handsign in there which makes us all groan and roll our eyes.

„Isn’t that the term? Dope? Or was it Lit? In our time we called us fresh but that’s another story.“ he says and laughs to himself while unpacking his stuff.

„Alright. We will start a discussion.” he says and claps his hands while coming to the front and leaning against his desk. „What does success mean to you?“

I could see people frowning or rolling their eyes and I start scribbling something on the paper in front of me. „Camila?”. Of course. Of course Camila.

„Uh, I mean…everything is based on success these days. You want to be respected and looked up on in school? You got to be successfull. But not too successfull because then you’re a nerd. You want to have it easy with the teacher? Just be great at their subject and everything will be fine. You want to go to a specific college? You got to be successfull in highschool. You want to actually work after college? You got to be one of the best in your classes. You want to keep your job? You better be the best….I guess.“ I finish my ranting and he nods to my answer.

„Yes. Aiden.” Mr. Khan says and dismisses me and I take a breath I didn’t know I was holding.

„You want to talk about something?“ Daya whispers over to me and I raise my eyebrows. „What? Me? No. Why?” I whisper back immediatly and she leans back again. „I don’t know. You seemed…troubled.“

„Nah. I’m fine. Really. Just wanted him to let me off the hook.” I answer and she shruggs her shoulders.

„Okay.“

The discussion continues and I don’t take part in it anymore. Success is overrated anyway. What about hapiness? What if I’m successfull but unhappy? Is success still more important then?

I pack my belongings after the bell rings while everybody starts to storm out. After I’m finished I throw my bag over my shoulder and start walking out too when Mr. Khan holds me up.

„Hey, Camila?”

„Yes, sir?“

„Success isn’t all that bad you know. You just have to get to it in your own way and not how other people want you to.” he says and smiles a little smile and I shrug apologetically.

„Whatever you say Mr.Khan.“ I say before backing away towards the door and saluting playfully as a goodbye which makes him chuckle and shake his head.

I walk out with a grin and forget to look straight ahead and collide with a chest. I grip onto my stuff so nothing slides to the ground and so does the person I collided with, by holding me by my arms. „Sorry.” I say before I look up and meet those brown eyes again. Shit. He let’s go of me like a hot potato and takes a step back.

„Suits you.“ he blurts out and I frown.

„What?”

„The smile. You don’t do it very often anymore.“ he says like in trance and I shift uncomfortably under his gaze. I shake my head and sigh to myself before stepping aside to leave without another word. I’m a lot of things but one thing I’m not is beeing friends with my ex. That doesn’t work. Not even in movies. I walk through the halls towards my next classes trying not to think about his face.

***

After my last class I said my goodbye to Daya and made my way to the parking lot. While pulling out the key I stuffed into the side pocket of my bag I noticed someone in the corner of my eye. „Hey! You need a ride?” I asked before my brain could catch up and Ethan looked up towards me with raised eyebrows.

„Hey! Uh…my mom was going to be here but she got caught up. So actually, yeah. If it’s okay.“ he stumbled over his words and made me laugh.

„Sure thing. Just to warn you though: I may not be the best driver.” I joked while waving him over and we started to walk to my car. „You live near the city park right?“ I ask while getting into the drivers seat and he sits shutgun. „Yeah. But you can drop me of on your way to yours. I‘ll just have to take a right and walk two minutes from there.“ he offers and I shrug my shoulders while starting the engine. I ignore the brown curls while I drive out of the parking lot and concentrate on the road.

„So who else do you have in your classes?“ I ask into the silence and he looks over. „Well we‘ve got English together with Mr.Khan. I love that guy.“ he chuckles and and I smile and nodd so he can continue, „I got Miss Hallow in math and I could die right here right now thinking of that. I feel like she is the evil witch of our school.“

„Yeah I‘m so happy that I don‘t have her this year. She made my life hell last year.“ I say before I recognize what I just said and facepalm myself in my head. He looks at me with a grin and I squint my eyes for a split second before I remember that I‘m the one driving.

„Sorry.“

„It‘s okay. I love hearing you rambling. Sometimes people habe to many filters.“ He says looking out the front window and try not to frown and decipher what he means by that.

„Anyway. I got Mr. Masselin in Biology.“

„Who‘s that? I don‘t recall that name?“ I ask inbetween.

„You know the hot one? Every girl and I think some guys too, is drooling after him.“ he says rolling his eyes and makes me chuckle. „Doesn‘t ring a bell.“ I say and he smiles. „Thank god.“ As soon as he says that his eyes go wide and he looks at me, his cheeks slightly flushed. „I mean, you know. Thank god your not one of the basic ones.“ he drives himself deeper into the mud and makes me laugh.

„Yeah. Never have been.“ I say trying to lift some of the emberrasment off of his shoulders. „Moving on. I have Mrs Khan in chemistry. And let me tell you she is nothing like her husband. That woman is feisty. Not kidding.“ he changes the topic.

„Yeah, I know! Noah used to love messing around with her, just to get on her nerves.“ I say again, my mouth faster than my brain. I start to think if I do have any filter. An awkward silence spreads between us and I repeatedly facepalm myself in my head. I‘m so stupid for bringing him up.

„That‘s the senior right? The Jock? I‘ve seen him woth your brother. They seem to be good friends.“ he says as if we aren‘t talking about my ex and I‘m so gratefull that he is taking it so light heartedly.

„Yeah that one.“ I asnwer and he nods letting go of the subject.

„You see that spot. You can stop right there.“ he says after two minutes more of driving in silence and I pull over. „Thank you for letting me ride along.“ he says with a 1000 watt smile and my heart skipps a beat. „Sure thing.“ I say and return his smile. He takes his bag and gets out of the car. I‘m about to say bye when he turns around. He has this nervous expression on his face and keeps shifting from one leg to the other.

„Uh, I wanted to ask you something? Dou you want to, you know, go out sometime? Maybe for the movies or just dinner. I don‘t know.“ he says nervously and avoids my eyes and I put him out of his misery. „I‘d love to.“

„Really?“ he says surprised and I chuckle.

„Why is that such a shocker to you?“ I tease and his cheeks flush again.

„Uh, no! It‘s not. It‘s great actually. Thank you. I - I‘ll text you when?“ he offers and I nodd with a smile and his heartwarming smile returns to his lips.

„See you.“

„Bye.“ he says and shuts the door and waves while I pull out of my spot and drive away. That was fun.

***

I‘m doing my homework after dinner and jump when I hear a loud thud from the other room where Jace is. I put my pen onto my desk and listen carefully what‘s going on.

„Shit.“

„Fuck.“ I hear him curse and I get up to walk out of my room. I remember my mom saying that he wasn‘t in a good mood and appearently that hadn‘t changed throughout the day. I knock lightly at his door and wait for an answer.

„I‘m fine.“ he says and I roll my eyes.

„I‘m coming in.“ I warn him and open the door. I stay in the door and lean against the doorframe. „Hey.“

„Hey.“ he murmurs and I roll my eyes again. I walk into the room and throw myself beside him onto the bed.

„You good?“

„Yeah.“

„You don’t sound like it.“ I press and he sighs.

„Just let it go?“ he asks and I shrugg my shoulders turning onto my back lying next to him.

„Whenever you‘re ready big bro.“ I say to lighten the mood but I make sure that he doesn‘t miss the sincere undertone.