#Also partially my fault for my anxiety straight up getting in the way of me having fun. I'm an anxious fucking mess.

[iero]

Gotta admit that this is the most disappointing Pittsburgh visit I've had so far and that I am ready to go back home tomorrow, but at least work didn't call or text me for anything the entire time.

[the-iceni-bitch]

She Knows What She’s Doing

Kinktober Day 3: Lap Dance

Pairing: Jake Jensen c stripper!Reader

Words: ~1.9k

Summary: It’s Jake’s birthday, and the rest of the Losers have the perfect present in mind.

Warnings: explicit language, explicit sexual content (suggestive dancing, sex work, fingering), Jake being an adorable nervous baby, good natured teasing, SMUT!!! 18+ ONLY!!!

A/N: Day three of Kinktober, and you know I had to give us some adorable Jensen love for the filthiest month. Another couple I’m in love with, by the way, so we may be seeing more from them at some point.

I am no longer doing taglists, so if you want to stay up to date on all the latest filth, follow my sideblog @the-iceni-library​ and turn on notifications!

“C’mon Jensen, it’s your fucking birthday.” Pooch gave Jake a massive grin as Aisha shoved him into the club. “You gotta relax man.”

“Yeah Jake, let us buy you a lap dance.” Aisha finally got him inside and blew out a breath, winking before she started looking around the club. “Where is she?”

“I dunno guys…” He was nervous enough just watching the dancers on stage, the thought of having one of them grinding on him was making his anxiety ramp up. Was he supposed to talk to them? What did he do with his hands? Like, he knew he wasn’t allowed to touch but other than that. 

“You’re getting a dance, that’s an order.” Clay shook his head before ordering a round of shots. “If I have to watch you moon over that girl any more I’m gonna lose it.”

“What girl?” He shuffled awkwardly as he avoided making eye contact with anyone, feeling a flush creeping up his neck as he tried to find someplace to look that didn’t have partially naked women prancing around.

“There she is, hey Khaleesi!” Aisha waved when she spotted the dancer she was looking for, and Jake felt his heart jump into his throat.

“That girl.” Clay just gave him a judgmental look as Cougar and Pooch snorted behind him, handing him a shot. “Drink.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Jake winced when his voice cracked, tossing the shot back and glancing to where Aisha was chatting with you.

Maybe, maybe he had been mooning over you a little bit. It wasn’t his fault, though. What was he supposed to do when the first time the team dragged him to this place you were wearing nothing but a stormtrooper helmet and a leather thong? Every time he came back you were wearing some sort of nerdy getup which you quickly got rid of, and yeah, when he watched you strip while you were dressed like Leeloo from the Fifth Element, he might have fallen a little bit in love with you. Though the Captain America costume also really got to him for some reason.

And now you were dressed like the mother of dragons, and he was feeling a little lightheaded. Aisha was clapping happily as she led you towards him, handing you a couple of bills and grabbing a shot as she settled into a stool.

“Jakey, why didn’t you tell me it was your birthday?” You were smiling at him and fuck, he just wanted to give you flowers and feed you fruit.

“I… well…” He felt every single thought fly right out of his head when you gripped the front of his shirt and started pulling him towards the private rooms, shooting a panicked look over his shoulder at the team who were just laughing at him.

Jake gave you an anxious grin and huffed out a breath when you shoved him onto the leather couch, his fingers twitching as he tried to decide what to do with his hands, eventually settling for letting them fall to his sides. He swallowed thickly when you stalked towards him, the sway of your hips drawing his eyes until you were straddling his lap.

“You really should’ve told me your birthday was coming up, honey.” You purred as you leaned forward and ran your nose over his throat, rolling your body against his and smiling to yourself when he groaned. “Would’ve gotten you something special.”

“Th… this is good.” He could already feel all his blood running straight to his dick, the feeling of your soft curves pressed against him everything he thought it was going to be. “I… I really like your outfit.” What?

“Yeah?” You leaned back a little and beamed at him, resting a hand behind you on his knee as you teased the other under the edge of your top while you rolled your hips slowly. “Sometimes I feel like I go a little too nerdy,”

“No, it’s good.” His eyes rolled back in his head when you rolled your body close to his again. You smelled so fucking good, it was making him lightheaded. 

And now you were rubbing your tits right in his face while you ground your crotch right over his and all he could do was curse himself for being such an infatuated idiot.

“You wanna help me out, birthday boy?” You winked at him when you leaned back on his knees, your hips still undulating to the thrumming bass as you reached behind you to start undoing your top.

“Oh… ok.” God, what a sweet nervous baby. You tutted when he started to reach up to help you with the straps, grabbing his hands and placing them back at his sides with a wicked grin.

“No hands, sweetie.”

He gave you a confused look until his eyes widened in surprise as his gaze moved to your breasts while he licked his lips slowly.

“Is that… is that allowed?.” His eyes were darkening as they flicked between your chest and your face, his lust addled brain screaming at him to just fucking do it already. 

“It’s your birthday, Jakey.” He could get used to hearing you call him that. “And what I say in this room fucking goes.”

He whimpered as he leaned forward to grab the center of your bra between his teeth, gazing up at you through his lashes pleadingly when you shimmied a little and he felt your soft curves press against his face.

He whined softly when you undid the final strap and let the fabric flutter down around your shoulders, your nipples pebbling in the air right in front of him. You grinned when he leaned back with your bra still  clutched between his teeth with a dazed look, propping one foot on the couch and placing the other on the floor so you could roll your hips in his face.

“You having a good time, Jakey?” You smiled softly when he grunted as you teased your fingers under the edge of your panties.

“‘Yeeeeaaaah.” He stretched the word out and tucked his bottom lip between his teeth when you slid off his lap and turned around, spreading your legs and bending over to touch your toes while you made your ass jiggle in a way that made him want to take a bite out of you.

“Good, ‘cause I was thinking, with it being your birthday and all,” you sank to your knees and leaned back between his spread thighs, slowly sliding up the front of his body until your head was resting on his shoulder. “Wanna make it extra special for you, since you’re my favorite.”

“I’m your favorite?” He felt his heart flutter as he murmured under his breath. You were just saying that for tips, right? You had to be.

“You kidding me? Course you’re my favorite.” You leaned your head back against his shoulder and beamed at him while you slid a hand up his thick thigh until you were cupping his growing bulge. “Like I was saying, wanna spoil you a little for your special day, baby. So why don’t you touch me wherever you want?”

“Shit, I don’t want to get you in trouble.” He really wanted to touch you though.

“I told you, Jakey.” You stood up again and spread your legs before bending over slowly. “I make the rules.”

He sucked in a breath when you stepped out of your panties and flung them at his chest, laughing softly when he jolted with surprise and almost dropped them. You were still facing away from him when you moved to straddle his lap again, placing your knees on either side of his thigh and grinding over the thick muscle as you leaned back against his chest and purred.

“Ah, fuck.” He could feel heat flooding his face as you rolled your hips into him. You were wet, he could feel it soaking through his jeans and it was making him panic. What was he supposed to do? He thought he was going to have a panic attack.

“Honey, just relax.” You turned around and gave him a reassuring smile, pressing your body close to his and grabbing his wrists as you brought his hands to rest on your waist. “Touch me, Jakey.”

“Are you sure… mmph!” His eyes bugged out of his head when you leaned forward and smashed your lips to his, only needing a few seconds of feeling you hum softly into his mouth before he felt the nervousness start to seep from his body. 

“I’m sure.” You leaned back just a little and beamed at him, sighing softly when he let his hands slide down to curl around your hips. “You can have me however you want, baby.”

The growl that escaped from his chest was almost unrecognizable, his eyes darkened dangerously as he raked his gaze over your body before slowly sliding a hand down to cup your pussy as the other wound around your waist and pressed you close to his chest. You let out a soft whine when you felt his palm rub over your clit, and that was when he lost it.

“This is all for me, right?” His eyes were wild as he gazed pleadingly at you, his palm grinding against your clit when he slid two thick fingers inside you and groaned when you immediately clenched around him. “You don’t get all hot and bothered for all those other guys?”

“No, just you.” You could’ve teased him but it felt like you were past that point now, letting your head roll loosely on your shoulders fucked you with his fingers. “Oh, Jake.”

“Fuck, I could listen to you say my name all damn day.” He leaned forward and started pressing soft kisses over the curve of your breast, his fingers finding that soft spongy spot and stroking it while you dug your fingers into his scalp. “God, you’re so perfect.”

“Jake, fuck, I’m so close.” You drove your hips into his hand as he kept drawing it out of you, your breath coming in short gasps when he wrapped his lips around your nipple and sucked softly. “Don’t stop.”

A few more drives of his fingers and the warm coil of pleasure that had gathered in the pit of your stomach snapped, your body jolting as you bit back a scream and squirted all over his hand. Feeling your body respond to him so perfectly had him following after you with a desperate whine, his own release filling his boxer briefs as his hips stuttered against nothing until he was sagging into the couch with a deep moan.

“Um, you ok?” Now that you were both finished, his anxiety was back tenfold. He did not want to fuck this up.

“I’m great.” You pressed a gentle kiss to the top of his head while his face was still nuzzled between your breasts before tilting his head back to grin at him. “Happy birthday, Jakey. You finally gonna ask me out, now?”

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh S5 Ep 18: A Series of Ecological Disasters

Booting up ye old Yugioh, booting up a new aesthetic playlist to type to. (today’s playlist is webcore, which would feel like such a damn fake aesthetic, if it weren’t that every single one of these -core aesthetics are pretty damn fake and everyone knows it.)

Anyway, it’s been so long that, I’ll be honest, I thought I booted up the wrong episode:

I usually skip the anime intro, but I try to watch it once each arc, cuz the intros change, and this arc was like “screw it, here’s all the other villains, just pretend this arc isn’t happening.” They had Pegasus, they had Marik, they have Bakura (who is kind of in this shot as well, you can see him phasing in there.) And like...I guess they’re hiding the villain of this arc or something because that was it. Alexander the Great got just nixed from this villain list and that’s a shame.

Just a real weird choice, but since apparently this arc didn’t air in Japan they probably had to outsource this anime intro and whatever studio in charge of it just cobbled together stuff from every other season and then a couple of shots of capsule stuff.

Speaking of capsule stuff: get a load of how many freakin lines the animators have to deal with every time they draw Grandpa.

Bro saw this and was like “oh yeah, this is a Shonen Jump” and yeah. The hair does give those vibes. We got a good look at what Vegeta would look like if he really let himself go.

(read more under the cut)

Sorry, my playlist started playing a song where every single line of the song is “Adrien Brody” and it took me like a few minutes to realize I was listening to “Brodyquest” completely seriously.

Damn it, webcore, don’t betray me like this.

Anyway, this arc does something super surprising: Yugi actually hugs somebody and doesn’t look like he’s going to pass out standing up.

It is pretty fitting that the good Yugi hug would go to Grandpa.

And, as night falls, Joey Wheeler has gotten hungry, and there is nothing to eat but his new best friend and spirit animal, baby dragon. Unfortunately he shares life points with the dragon, and I think if you eat it that just instakills you.

And directly underneath him--since this world is like 100 feet wide and things just conveniently happen--Tea has told everyone that they needed to stop worrying about Joey. Which is a lot coming from Tea, because her worrying about Yugi/Yami getting hurt is most of what occupies her headspace in this series.

But even Tea was like, screw Joey, I guess.

Who kinda just falls directly into them upside down, and shows us what Joey’s hair looks like when it’s sticking straight up.

For reals, admire how long Joey Wheeler’s hair is. If Tea were upside down, she would have the same length of hair.

Also speaking of Vegeta, I am low key concerned that Joey has what appears to be a significant amount of male pattern balding going on for a teenager.

Apparently getting set on fire many, many times did have an effect on Joey, and this massive pompadour he wears is a combover. Poor baby.

Holy crap, if this is what card stress and getting killed multiple times did to Joey Wheeler, can you imagine what’s going on under Seto’s bangs? That’s probably why his bangs ride so low, Seto likely wears a freakin toupee.

Guys, Joey’s gonna lose his hair at 25 at this rate. Those locks just aren’t long for this world. Poor baby.

After Joey rejoins the party, he immediately eats all of their food. Not sure why they can’t just have Baby Dragon eat like...whatever Baby Dragon naturally eats...and then transform that into shared Joey Wheeler life points, but it’s not clear exactly how much of a life-connection they have with their Yugioh monsters. Not like it matters because Joey Wheeler is default starving all the time anyway.

Tristan has decided we should start laying blame, I guess because Duke Devlin isn’t here anymore to be the local kill joy. This doesn’t seem to be important at any point, and most of the characters are just ignoring Tristan because like...once you’re in the haunted game in a haunted tomb in a random part of India--it’s kind of moot to argue about who’s fault that is, youknow?

Joey reminds us that he found this quest item in a treasure chest under a secret waterfall. No one says “that was convenient that you landed there after getting chased through a ravine by man-eating birds after you got your dragon from when you got your crotch injury from getting spliced by that tree.”

Which is when Tea says “Wait! We haven’t had a plot thing happen in like 4 seconds! Wait!”

Hey what degree of “I don’t trust nature” do you have to be to assume that all the flowers are trying to eat you?

Like what level of anxiety is Tea where she not only is like “pretty sure the flowers are going to destroy us?” but also...she’s correct? Like she’s not wrong.

They set the dog flowers on fire, but unlike the Jungle Book this doesn’t solve any problems (which apparently got taken off the Disney+ kid’s menu so...yet again, I make a Disney reference in these recaps that future generations will not understand because so much of the Disney library has been banned from the vault. It’s almost like Disney should let go of that copyright they held on for like a hundred years, because what they’re holding on to is only going to get more racist with time. But nah. Gotta hold on with their greedy mickey mouse gloves.)

So instead of using fire, Tristan used his monster to electrocute the air (?) and blind the dogs. Wisely, the animators quickly jumped to this other scene so we wouldn’t have to analyze why it’s suddenly daytime or why that plan would even work.

Joey and Tristan do a lot of buddy buddy stuff this arc. Usually we see a lot of Joey and Yugi’s bottomless friendship, but we don’t get this much Tristan/Joey love. So shippers rejoice, these two seem to have several coordinated dances and songs...and I’d say that teens don’t typically do that, but I went to summer camp, there are situational places where teens will sing the entire vacation and make coordinated dances.

Weirdly, since Joey and Tristan share so much time together, this also means Tea and Yugi actually sit next to eachother for a lot of this arc, almost as if they were a couple. Mind you, they’re chaperoned closely by Grandpa, but youknow...that’s a different energy than I’m used to seeing.

That and like, they can’t have Tea dance with them because last time she did a dance, it was like a DDR fight and she elbowed some guy like it was a fisticuffs situation. Like there was some sort of dance war going on behind the scenes of Yugioh’s card war, and it came up once and I guess Tea resolved it and the dance fights haven’t come back since.

Overall, if they did a dance with Tea, they would get kneed in the face, so that’s probably why they insist on doing cancans as a duet and not a trio.

After Joey and Tristan freak out over having no food, Tea decides to just start eating in front of them.

and like...didn’t Joey eat that food yesterday? Like last night? The short term memory loss on all these fools.

Immediately after this we realize something weird in the water. That’s right, it’s a massive head.

Yugi seems to have forgotten they lit this turtle on fire and electrocuted the entire sky the night before. Not that it mattered.

There were like...nesting birds on those trees on that island. What the hell? They just killed so MANY of those man-eating dogs that are flowers.

Seriously are land turtles allowed to just...dive underwater for long periods of time? How does that ecosystem even work? It’s like...That’s wild to think about.

Inside the temple, they have to fight a genie or something.

In case you were wondering, the only reason Tea and Grandpa got iced is because they were the closest to the door. The two who were actually standing out of harms way were the closest to harm the whole time.

Bro tells me this is also what will happen to you if you are in the front or the back of the party while playing Cthulu D&D

Anyway, Pharaoh decides to disclose that his big problem of feeling guilty all the time and taking all the blame, which he did all of last season...is still a huge problem he will probably never tackle.

Straight up, don’t be fooled by my caps, everyone else has completely forgotten about Alex, who is still running around that temple up there. They haven’t even asked Grandpa “hey is this your protege? Is this your mentee you never told us about?” Nah. They already forgot. 

How wild is it that Pharaoh thinks this is all his fault when he was the only one who was like “YUGI IT’S A TRAP DON’T GO IN THE- well...OK I guess we’re doing this, fine.” Is he upset he didn’t take control from Yugi and walk back to the plane? Because that’s the only way he could even be partially responsible, He was the only guy who was like “I see the end from the beginning on this y’all, and it’s the massive pyramid in India.”

Speaking of forgetting, they came across this language Pharaoh has decided to have nothing to do with.

This was actually a riddle and it was like...it was a riddle, sure, I guess.

And so Joey Wheeler does not hallucinate his dead wife from a previous incarnation and get on the back of his Baby Dragon to sail away into the sunset. Instead they’re just gonna walk.

Too bad Tea’s orb covered in wings only seems to hover a bit. Every single wing on that weird orb is absolutely useless.

And then Pharaoh’s pokemon is just a fire--which is hard to sit on--and Celtic Guardian...who would allow it, sure, but probably doesn’t fly (I think. He might fly)

And then Tristan’s Pokemon kinda seems like if you sit on it, you will get electrocuted. It can probably fly though. It’s very round. Seems like an anime thing that the more round your mascot character is, the more likely it can at least bounce a good distance.

So, next time, I’m just going to assume that we are going to do even more camping. And youknow, if you told me exactly HOW MUCH CAMPING was in this card game show with super future tech, I would not have believed you. But like...a lot of this series is set in the woods right? Like a lot a lot? I have grown to appreciate the woods.

Anyway, as always, if you just got here, this is a link to read these in chrono order:

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

See you next time!

[dragonbugsuperior]

Something that I've been meaning to say about Miraculous's "Rich Girls".............

Before I even go into this, All you Lila, Chloe, and Kagami stans out there I suggest to skip this post, leave disgusting comments and I'll block and report you because I'm saying it now, that I will be saying some things about Lila, Chloe, and Kagami that aren't really pretty. If you like their characters "Yay!" good for you,

Nobody cares. grow up

So........something has been on my mind lately and I would like to get it off my chest because it's just been stuck in my head and I think it's good if I do make some clear points that clearly people are missing in regards to the show's "rich girls". So Marinette.....has been going through alot this past season and people are saying stupid things like "Oh wE NEeD a NEw LAdyBUg!"

Or "oH MArINeTtE iS teRRiBlE At dOiNg heR jOB!"

Let's dive right into this

I'll start with Chloe first. Chloe bullied Marinette. She has for 7 whole fucking years. Marinette has done nothing to Chloe literally. She hasn't bullied her, talked about her, criticized her, she has done nothing to that girl. But oh! Chloe is some rich snobbish brat that thinks everyone below her should be treated less of a human than she is. Where was her mom when Chlow started to go to school with Marinette? Also Chloe's mom not playing a big part of her life doesn't excuse her terrible behavior and awful treatment she has given marinette and students at her school. Just because her mom is a total snob and shallow person doesn't mean Chloe has to be exactly like her. It's okay for Chloe to express sadness and frustration but what's not okay if for Chloe to lash out all her negativity on Marinette as if Marinette has done something to her. Her parents have really failed her and she has failed herself. She's so full of herself that I'm starting to believe she's delusional. Clinging onto Adrien 24/7 at school like their some type of couple is already mouth-gagging. Like girl, he is not some toy that is all yours and that you can just cling yourself onto. I'm glad Marinette calls her out on her bullshit and handles Chloe's ass and she's not afraid to do so.

And that tacky ass makeup really defeats the purpose because it's makes her look worser than her personality. Tired of these blonde stuck up popular rich girls that think they can just overrule people.

Treating everybody around her like her peasants is clichè mean girl shit. I'm willing to go as far as to say she's a fucking narcissist. Having excessive interest and admiration for herself and treating everybody around her like shit as if she's 10 times more important than they are when in reality she's nothing but a spoiled brat that's jealous because she knows Marinette is better than her.

2nd to last....Lila

Literally 'lie' is in her name. She lies her mouth off and thinks she's fooling every fucking body. Marinette knows damn well she's lying and tells her up to her face in Chameleon. I'm sorry but her lies are ridiculous and the class is so undeniably stupid for believing her bullshit. Yea she's another "spoiled rich girl" her mom is present in her life but we know nothing about her dad. Don't know what happened to him and I don't care to know what happened to him. I know one thing though. Just like in Chloe's case, her dad being absent doesn't make it "okay" for her to be a two-faced person who can pathologically lie to people for personal gain. That's disgusting and weak of a person. She literally frames Marinette and corners her in the bathroom to a wall and pushed herself down the steps to look like she's actually injured. Her fans can try to shed all the light they want on her character but that's never gonna erase all the terrible shit she's done. And once again! Marinette has done nothing to Lila and somehow Marinette is Lila's main target. She lied about her friendship with Ladybug just to impress a boy. Her negativity she's trying to pass onto Marinette isn't working because Marinette is strong and optimistic. I can't believe she had fans, cough looks like a knock-off version of Dora cough. She's so stupid she really thinks Adrien wants to be with someone like her. A liar and manipulative bitch. lol

Kagami.......

"But Jen she's only been a character since season-

Yea I already know how long she's been in the show but that doesn't mean that I'm going to get her the benefit of the doubt. First time she met Marinette she treated her terribly as if Marinette did anything to her. Then again, people like to claim she's from a strict household so that gives her an excuse when it really doesn't. Secondly Kagami in general seems phony, Marinette is trying to be her friend and give up on Adrien just for her!!! and so she can grow as a person!!!!! Kagami chose Adrien over Marinette while Marinette gave up Adrien just so Kagami can have him. Seems like the only reason Kagami really wants to be friends with Marinette is because of Adrien. But let's not get into that.... In Animeastro she acted like she had a problem Marinette was talking to Adrien. I just don't get her at all. One minute she wants to be Marinette's friend (which I believe is completely fake) and then the next she's glaring daggers at her as if she did anything to her.

I don't even want to fucking hear "Oh but Jenny, Marinette didn't confes- SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP. Marinette has tried time after time to confess she's always getting interrupted. Kagami thinks of Adrien like some prize to win all for herself after only knowing him for not too long. Give me a break then she's the one who got akumatized over a fucking picture instead of asking Adrien "hey, what's this?" She got salty and got akumatized. In Frozer, Adrien told her that he had feelings for someone else, she jumped to conclusions and thought it was fucking Marinette and suggested him to "switch targets" he told her he wouldn't and she still pushes him to literally kissing him and then getting mad because he rejected it. Girl! Did he not fucking say that he has feelings for another girl and he won't be switching targets. She's really that desperate that she's telling Adrien to get over that other girl, and she's so fucking desperate she tried to kiss him then got mad when he didn't kiss her back. Let's not forget she literally cut out the fencing class picture and left Adrien and herself out. Then she gave us a little "insight" on how she views Adrien in Oni-Chan. "Image of Perfection" she likes Adrien because he's perfect? That's funny. Because for 1, he's not nobody is and for 2 that's a stupid reason to like somebody. Let's not also forget when she literally lied in Miracle Queen about the villain attacking people in love. She knows Adrien likes somebody else so why is she trying so hard to push into being with her? Desperate much? "We're so alike" and Kagami really believes their soulmates? She should just shut the fuck up. She sounds stupid as fuck. How are you "soulmates" with someone you just met not too long ago. Bless her delusional soul. After he rejected her kiss and only knowing him for 2 seasons. Liiiiike......are you that desperate for a boy. I can't wait to see her reaction to when Adrien dates Marinette. Lmao

It's so funny how all these girls think Adrien's theirs when in reality Marinette is his true soulmate and is gonna end up with him in the end. Adrienette is literally endgame. There's no need for people like Chloe, Lila, and Kagami to get on the way of that. It's also funny how people like to claim Marinette as the possessive one when all these rich spoiled brats have gotten akumatized over him, cling onto him like he's some coat rack, and go out their way to make Marinette feel terrible. And marinette has given Adrien up. The only real clear reason I can see the 3 of them act bitchy towards marinette without a reason would be because they're jealous and don't have the best lives at home and wish to be like marinette.

If I'm not mistaken who's the one that got bullied for 7 years straight and tries her very best to be strong? Who's the one that literally got sexually harassed by Felix? Who's the one who has anxiety? Who's the one who has pressure and responsibilities hunched all over their shoulders? Who's the one that has go around every fucking day to save their city? Oh okay. Everybody always wants to talk about how tough they are without actually going through some real shit. Because I don't recall Lila, Chloe or Kagami going through any of these things while treating Marinette like shit. Kagami is the one that lied to Adrien, Kagami is the one that treated Marinette like crap, Kagami is the one that pushed Adrien after he said he had feelings for someone else /this b*tch didn't even wait/, Kagami is the one that is acting like Lila and Chloe. Let Marinette act like how Kagami did, I'm pretty sure she would've got bashed.

Once they go through all that bullshit then we can chit chat until then, they don't know what struggle is. Spoiled ass brats who clearly don't deserve Adrien because they're immature. They think Adrien's "theirs" they pushed themselves on him as if they can't live without him and they do sneaky shit in order to be with him. Lila and Kagami have clearly showed they would lie to get with him and Chloe does too. Marinette has the courage to let Adrien go, I'm pretty sure if the shoe was on the other foot Kagami would never let Adrien go.

And before people go around saying how it's their parents fault they act do toxically and immature (bc ppl like to give them excuses for their "mommy and daddy" issues) it's really not. Yes, it's partially their parents because they raised them but they also have a big role for their actions. No body is responsible for making Chloe, Lila, or Kagami a better person. No body. Stop putting the blame all on their parents because it's not just the parents I'm pretty sure Tomoe didn't teach Kagami to "lie" in order to get with a boy. Kagami chose to lie to Adrien in Miracle Queen with her own free will. Nobody said "lie to Adrien" Kagami lied that's her fault Nobody told Chloe to bully and belittle Marinette, Audrey is very shallow and brat-like but I don't recall her ever saying "Chloe bully Marinette" Nobody told Lila to constantly lie and manipulate people hell, her mom doesn't even know she's doing it! None of their parents are responsible for certain shit they do so stop pretending like their innocent kids that have horrible parents. I don't have time to analyze if Kagami is like Chloe and Lila or not because I know she is like them she acts just like them. Treats marinette like crap but acts different when Adrien's around. Simple. I tried to give her character a chance in Oni-Chan but after hearing how she views Adrien and how she acted in Miracle Queen I hated her even more than I did before.

Truth be told, Chloe, Lila, nor Kagami are nothing without Adrien. If we're really gonna go there. Their just some pointless characters that want to get in the way of things and can't stay in their places. Marinette made this show, she's the center of the plot, without her their is no Chloe, without her there is no Lila, without her there is no Kagami.

Call me absent-minded but I see alot of jealous hoes and I'm not with that shit at all. Sorry not sorry

[todokanai-suishou]

April 7th

Pairing Hoseok x Reader

Genre: Fluff

WC: 2,5k

Quality: Not yet golden Raspberry, but definitely rotten Tomato worthy

A/N: "April 7th, but it's longer now" finally managed to post the full thing TT_TT. It's still my first ff and I still apologize for the outcome of this, since I usually do music reviews and (bad) poetry:

Inspiration for it & pt2 were Sticky & April 7th by a Band called The Maine

__________________________________________________________

When you first saw him, he was dancing like nobody was watching

when in fact, everybody was.

You were no exception to the other people staring at him while they were shouting names, singing along to the lyrics sung by the 7 people dancing on stage, so stable and well.

And this man? This man didn’t seem to miss a beat. He moved so effortlessly through every song, having the time of his life, dancing and singing and rapping his heart out

- until he first spotted you in the crowd, watched in awe as you got lost in stereo, eyes shut to enjoy the music

- until you opened your eyes to look back at him.

And suddenly the man who was just dancing along to a fun song that luckily had no choreography, froze just like someone who’d be busted dancing with a mob.

He didn’t know what had hit him when your eyes made contact with his, but he just stood there, unable to move until the eldest came and hit him on the head jokingly, followed by the youngest jumping on both of them.

The Dancer snapped out of it at this point and you didn’t have a single ounce of understanding for what just happened. Usually it was Jungkook lagging, but not during performances and out of all the people you’d suspect to stop moving, Hobi would be the last one to.

Until he was. And he looked baffled when he came back down to earth, whispering to both of his friends as they were finishing the song before leaving to change clothes. He couldn’t help from looking back and subtly pointing at your part of the crowd a few times though

and as he kept on, you started to sense something. From the way he looked back. From the way he pointed in this direction..your brain meanwhile got the bizarre idea that it was you who got him that stunned. Maybe he saw someone else in you? Maybe a fansite? “Oh god please not a fansite.” you whispered, barely audible but turning the heads of the girls in front of you as you started shaking...or maybe an ex? You couldn’t pinpoint it but you also couldn’t stop thinking of the possibility that it was indeed you he reacted this way to.

and you were right about him freezing because of you, but dead wrong about him recognizing his ex, or a fansite, or anyone for that reason.

It was cliché but all the thought at that moment was that, even in this dimly lit room - you were the most beautiful thing he’s ever come across.

The way you danced like nobody was watching, because there probably really was no one watching you, all the while lip-syncing to boyz with fun, you were glowing and the way you suddenly stared at him, with adoration in your eyes, that had him overwhelmed.

“You really fell in love at first sight, huh?” Jin laughed in between changes as the younger one told him about what just happened. “I might” Hoseok fell into a stare at the realisation,. “This is crazy,” he whispered to himself. “You might never see them again though.” Namjoon exclaimed drily from across the room. “I’ll try...I guess?” - “What are you going to do, hunt that person down?” The leader raised an eyebrow and Hoseok sighed. “I don’t know.” It wasn’t until Yoongi - who currently fought with his leather pants - spoke up from the corner “just tell the staff to keep them here. Say Hi, see where it goes afterwards.” and while the leader and Hoseok agreed that this could come across as kind of creepy - the dancer gave it a try. He pointed to you, with the glowing green bracelet on your arm, gave them info of where you approximately were or could possibly come out. He did all he could do for them to keep you there and although you were confused, and quite frankly a little scared of what was happening, you stayed.

And god were you ready to fall on your knees and beg not to be sued with every second that passed, making up critical scenarios and what ifs in your head.

All of them were dead wrong.. You didn’t know how exactly he came to be there, but you remember him coming out in baggy pants, a loose shirt, hair that was still somewhat sweaty but at least brushed properly and he had the biggest smile as he came closer while you and a staff member were still jokingly debating whether ketchup was a smoothie or not. With a breathless “Hi.” he almost scared the living shit out of you.

“Hi” you replied, just as breathless and quite frankly confused. Both your Anxiety levels flew through the roof with each awkward second the two of you didn’t speak. It’s ironic how he wanted to tell you so much, but eventually when you were in front of him, sweat still somewhat glistening on your face and exhaustion written on it in tiny letters, he lost all his words.

It was you who, while still holding eye contact, spoke up. “So...you froze before...are you okay?” You nervously rubbed your arm, but he saw his chance. “Yeah, I’m sorry, it was kind of your fault” an awkward laugh followed from his side, making you nervously rub your arm and look down before he followed up “I got mesmerized by looking at you.” and boom, he had all your attention again. Eyes growing big at his comment. “Wait what?” - “I saw you vibe along and somehow, I don’t know. You just amazed me.” Everything after that was rambling as he tried to explain in a way that didn’t seem too forward or make you uncomfortable and apparently it worked when you let out a chuckle “You’re cute, you know that?” - “Cute enough to go on a date with me?” His sudden question left you as surprised as it did him. He didn’t think he’d do it like that, but judging from you freezing like a deer in the headlights, it was too straight forward and pointless. “Ah you kn-” - “Okay.” This time around he was the deer. And your answer? Just hit him like a car. “okay?” he replied in disbelief. “Yes, unless you don’t want to anymore?” you raised an eyebrow and he shook his head. “no, I’d still love to! How does tomorrow sound?” he asked so cheerfully the change of Aura almost threw you off. “Tomorrow sounds great, I think. Afternoon or evening?” - “Brunch?” - “Could work, might not. I usually sleep in on weekends. My body just naturally ignores every alarm clock I have until 13:00…but... I could get my roommate to wake me up with water I guess.” You said sheepishly.

“So...in case your roommate DOES wake you, how does 11:30 sound?” he smiled, screaming on the inside, hoping, praying, putting all of his trust in your roommate. “Sounds great.” You smiled back and at this moment he was a goner. Almost literally, since Jungkook called for the living, breathing sun to come back, because he wanted to go already. “Wait, give me your number so we can figure more details out.” a phone was pressed into your hands. You didn’t take long to type in your number and call yourself, his smile only growing as you handed it back to him. He had your number. He did it. You gave him his number and if tomorrow was going well, he was convinced that he could die happily.

When JK called for a second time he went away though “Well, I guess I really gotta go. I’ll see ya.” he waved at you and you just copied the action, smiling widely at him. “BY THE WAY” he called out after you “YES?”- “Y/N.... The Name fits you.” - “How?” - “A BEAUTIFUL NAME FOR A BEAUTIFUL HUMAN” and with that he was out of the room, and you and the staff member went out in the other direction, with her clearly laughing as you turned as red as a tomato. A warm feeling spread all throughout you, as you walked into the cold air, excited for what was to come, while the man who just asked a total stranger out just ended up happy dancing the entire night, leaving Jimin internally screaming for deciding to room with the manic squirrel and in serious conflict of whether he was just gonna head into Taehyung's room instead. In Hindsight, he probably should have.

Back then, on that first April 7 in the Arena, you met the man who lights up even the darkest days of your life. You learnt pretty fast that it wasn’t all fun and games, and relationships with Idols are hard. Big Hit bought out dispatch when it came to you, but still, not being able to see each other properly..sometimes was difficult, when all you wanted was to cuddle.

So he left sweaters at your place, and you saw each other whenever the other was near, you two made the, partially rough, two years worth the wait and god does he love you for holding on like that.

But exactly you, or the lack of your presence, made it hard for him to concentrate on rehearsal today. Knowing it’s the same day, the same arena, but someone else in your place. You usually took the time for important dates, 100 day anniversaries and birthdays were shared. Hell, the first anniversary you took leave to visit him on tour, but the second one, you informed him you couldn’t watch from the stage like you did so many times before. “Important family stuff.” you told him and the boys knew he wasn’t his usual self. Still whooped the professional part - except for the facial expressions and while the younger ones tried to coax the sun into shining again after the first Rehearsal, it wasn’t until Yoongi snuck up behind Hoseok with a phone in hand.

While the younger ones were still occupying Hoseok, Yoongi facetimed you and held the phone close to Hobis ear and before he could register anything, he heard “HOBI!” from the other line. Resulting in the dancer getting half a heart attack before turning around, resulting in Yoongi just handing him his phone and leaving. “Baby..” you pouted as you looked at his face. “Jagi, I miss you” a pout leaving him too. “You’ll see me soon, baby. I’m sorry I can’t watch like we planned.” - “ I know, I know” he sighed on the other line and you could feel your heart break. Dying to see your man already.

“I’ll see you soon, baby, don’t worry. We can celebrate after the concert tonight. Just give your best today, and if you won’t, you know I’m gonna find out from Jimin, right?” he chuckled at that comment, giving you a bright smile afterwards. “I know, I know. I’ll try.” - “You don’t need to, you were born to do what you’re doing baby. You’ll do great as always. Just picture me in the crowd, I’m always with you in spirit when I can’t be there - and you’ll get endless cuddles and everything else in the world when we’re home so cheer up.” Needless to say, you weren’t the best in cheering people up but weirdly enough it worked as he sighed out “will do.” giving you a smile afterwards. “Good, now go practice and then - go get 'em. I’ll be off too.” - Wait. Jagi?” You raised an eyebrow. “I love you.” He grinned and you could barely get out “I love you too” before he hung up and brought Yoongi back the phone. Somehow falling into a happy dance again.

“What’s with him?” Namjoon cut in, seeing Hoseok dance between doors “Talked to Y/N” Yoongi just replied and the Leader just nodded. This was normal by now. If he wasn’t everyone else's vitamin e - on days like these you were his and while he was still bummed, the sadness was pushed back by him deciding to just do as you told and picture you there. You’d be off work or family duties or whatever emergency came in between by the time he was done. You’d still see each other. It wasn’t what he had planned and you knew it wouldn’t be, but he’d be happy either way. He was happy with everything as long as the end result was you.

So the rehearsals continued. You headed out the house shortly after facetiming him and he put on clothes, got makeup done and set on a smile, all the while still texting you “I love you” being reciprocated with “I love you too, have fun out there.” It was the last text you sent him before you shut your phone off for now. It was also the last thing he read before he got onto that stage.

And while he loved the crowd, he thought the only thing he wanted to happen tonight was for the concert to end. For now.

Until, suddenly, two years after that last April 7th, he froze up during the choreography when he saw a big green heart during Boys With Fun. He couldn’t help but giggle as he read “Hey, sorry I just got kind of mesmerized by you.”

You, ass, stood there, waving that big heart, with that same green bracelet from years ago. Leaving him as amazed and defenseless as you did exactly two years ago and the grin he had on his face as he came to his senses again was second to none. Neither was your surprised reaction as he suddenly came close to your end, jumping over the barricade and pulling you, who stood just close enough to touch, in his direction. Placing his hands on your cheeks, greeting you with a kiss as the people beside you gasped, awed and the Maknae who saw the whole thing just wiped away a fake tear whispering “they grow up so fast.”

That was definitely not how you planned on your relationship being outed, but then again, he didn’t plan to see you here tonight and you, you had a way of melting his brain and making him do things. “Hey” he then said, almost breathless, still entranced and only looking at you. “Hey” you replied smiling. “So, you kinda mesmerized me and..would you wanna..you know, date?” he whispered in your ear, ignoring the music.. “I’m sorry, I kind of have a boyfriend.” you whispered back, laughing afterwards. It was only seconds until your face was in his hands again. “Then what do you say about moving in with him?” Deer in the headlights hobi? More like deer in the headlights Y/N - and this time the truck hit you. You didn’t know much to say, just frantically nodded and he took the time to kiss you again, softly, with all these people still around, and yet, for him you were the only one.

You’ve been the only one for the last two years. You’ll stay the only one for this little eternity he gets to stay with you..

[elliethesuperfruitlover]

It’s Okay

A/N: I’m writing a self-indulgent fic due to fact that I’m feeling  ✨ insecure and ugly ✨Yes this is me projecting. I like Heaven’s Design Team, and Unabara is one of my comfort characters, and he’s also v tall, and he looks like a good hugger. So why not write him being the fluffy being that he is.

Warnings: once again another breakdown, body image talk, mild nsfw mentions, mention of panic attacks

Tag List (even tho i know none of y’all dont know the show but shh): @misskittysmagicportal,  @bisexualnathanyoung, @super-unpredictable98, @joz-stankovich, @hufflepuffheroine, @ghouls-buddy, @magic-multicolored-miracle, @seancekitsch, @the-freckled-luba, @neuroticpuppy

“What’s wrong?” Neptune asks, seeing you curled up on the corner of the bed, hands covering your face. He’d just come in from another day of work with the team. They were working on an animal that’s seen and heard from far away. It’d been going okay, and they were making a lot of progress.

  You’d been denying him an answer to how you were feeling all day. Yes, he deserves to know. But something told you that you were being a burden. And that he didn’t need to hear your issues. He has a lot on his plate. And you didn’t want to stress the poor thing out. It’d only add fuel to your emotional fire. So you bottled it up. Seemed to be working just fine. Nothing a little forgetting can fix. You were really struggling. You can’t tell anyone how you feel, or else they may think it’s their job to help you. And it’s not. It never is. But they do it somehow. You’d always felt like a burden, maybe it was due to how everything in the past had worked out for you (horribly). Or maybe it was just due to your extreme anxiety issues, as well as being atrocious at keeping friends. They always left. And never came back. And somehow, that mean-spirited little voice always said it’s your fault. You’re the catalyst. You’re why everything falls apart around you. You’re the reason everyone’s stressed and upset. So that’s your philosophy. How’s that been working out, huh?

“I’m tired. And I’m upset for no reason. I’m also not feeling the most confident. But I can’t really remember a time where I did feel good about my appearance. I just straight up think I’m ugly. ” you mutter, tears forming in your eyes. 

  You’d been waiting for your body to finally cave in and let you cry. Weeks of missed panic attacks. Days without breaking down. First it seemed fine. Then the fatigue set in. So did the muscle aches. And feeling like sitting in the corner for the entire day. Thinking of what you could be doing. And shaming yourself for not being able to make a full meal. It was just so much all of the time. Everyone has their limits, but those also change. People grow. Somehow, though, it seemed that you were left out. And that everyone seemed to be doing just fine. Except for you, of course.

“Well, it’s fine to be upset, or tired. And I’ve mentioned that if you need help sleeping, I’m glad to help you. Be it cuddling or simply letting you be. But the latter part is where I find the issue. Your appearance is fine. But I know people can see each other differently.” he whispers, sitting down near you, but it seems as if he wasn’t close enough.

“Well, I honestly don’t know how you manage to call me cute sometimes. I really don’t see it. Never have.” you state, falling back completely onto the bed, arms spread out.

“I only say it because it’s the truth. If I think you look cute, or nice, I’ll tell you. There’s no use in me lying. What is this stemming from?” he asks, putting his hand on yours.

“I saw some of my old classmates from school and just....how? How do I equal to them? I feel like everyone’s moving on, and looking good. And feeling confident. But I just can’t seem to.” you say. Your eyes floating to a specific spot on the ceiling that looked like a snowman, and you thought about it for a while.

“Everyone’s different. And I think you look perfectly fine. And some people may just be feeling better. It doesn’t make you any worse.” he replies softly, twisting to face your flat form on the bed.

“Yeah, but I fucking hate everything about myself. Every time I seem to have something good, that dumbass voice comes back and I’m right back here again. I love my hair, then it’s a burden and I want to get rid of it. I look nice in these jeans, then I think I should lose the weight so they aren’t as tight. What the fuck is wrong with me?” you ask, tears finally falling onto the comforter.

“Aw, come here.” he says, laying down so he can look you at you closer. “There’s nothing wrong with you. Sure, you have anxiety, and yes, you have intrusive thoughts, but that’s okay. It doesn’t make you any less of a person. And it doesn’t make you any less attractive.” Unabara whispers, holding you close.

  You begin sobbing into his chest, and your hands grasp at his sweater, trying to find something to hold onto before you fall from whatever was keeping you above the water. Dark, deep waters. Every part of you wants to scream, but you can’t seem to get that giant bubble from your chest. Neptune’s hand gently moves up and down your back, and you gasp for air as wave after wave of feeling go through you. It’s like you never get a break as tears fall repeatedly down your face, drowning you in a weird way. Your chest heaves as you wrap around Neptune, face hidden in his neck to get away from the reality of him seeing you like this. Vulnerable, and some would consider it torn to the ground. Somehow by your own feelings, you’d been torn to the ground and for what? Feelings were supposed to tell you what’s going on, not ponder if every person you’d met in your entire life was offended by you, and if they were it was always your fault. Never anyone else’s, always yours. That’s not true, but somehow you’d managed to get it engrained in your skull do much that no lobotomy would help.

  They never seemed to leave you be, it seemed. One moment everything’s fine and it’s all good and the next you’re on the floor again, wondering whether or not you should’ve said this, or that. Or said these things, or even simply existed in their presence. You had done nothing wrong, yet only the most harsh and cruel punishments were reserved for you with your name in bold, bright letters. Nothing could help you at this point. Not the warmest, and most inviting of baths, or the coldest bowl of ice water to dip your head in, disrupting you from the shaking you’d been experiencing. Even his strong arms couldn’t help as you trembled in his grip. You hadn’t even noticed that his eyes were closed, almost as if he was trying to forego tears. See look what you’re doing to him. You thought, but it was shut down as he opened his eyes, and looked directly at you. Throwing you off for a moment before you went back to dreading everything about yourself once more. Except the hiccups were subsiding, and the feeling in your fingers and toes had begun to come back. Unabara’s head was tilted onto yours, and you matched your breathing to his, calming down somewhat.

“Can you do something really quickly for me...please?” he whispered, deep voice echoing in your mind. You gently nodded, and he moved to get up as you still sat on the bed, the ends of your jacket crumpled and partially wet.

“You don’t have to do this, but I’m going to go from your feet to your head. List what you don’t like about the body part.” he said, and you nodded once more as he gently nudged your foot, looking at you to engage.

 You thought for a moment and replied in a quiet voice, rough from the tears.

“I don’t like how big my feet are. Sure, it may be fine with dancing, and it’s not that noticeable. But shoes my size are upwards of 70 dollars.” you reply, fiddling with your hands.

“Mm, I think they’re fine. I like the fact that we can share shoes sometimes. It’s more space for other things. Legs?”

“They’re oddly shaped. And they’re discolored too.” you stutter out, feeling goosebumps tickle your skin as his hands gently moved up your form.

“I think they’re quite lovely. And you’ve got quite a kick. Strong too. You can fit in more odd positions, may look uncomfortable. But you always manage somehow.” he says, kissing the top of your knee.

  It went on like that for a while, with you talking about how you hated the fact that your thighs don’t match in color to how the divots in your hip made you feel like you should look different elsewhere. When one part of the body was talked over, you both removed a piece of clothing, the same for each person. Somehow you’d even managed to mention that you didn’t like the fact that your stretch marks could be seen with a simple flick of a waistband. And only he got to see the secret ones. Hidden from many views. Eventually, it got to the point where you were mostly nude in front of Neptune. His eyes averted from where some would be looking most. When his eyes did, however, drifted southwards, it wasn’t one of sexual thought.

“What about here?” he gently asked, hands landing on your hips.

“I don’t think I can complain about her. So much to learn. And so many feelings, good and bad. But none to blame.” you mutter, gasping as a skilled finger made its way to where you seemed to want it most.

“I think it’s wonderful. And not in the “I think vaginas are nice because I only think of it in a sexual manner way. I think they’re neat. And there’s a lot to learn, and much more to unlearn as well. I always like how you feel on the precipice of orgasm. Almost like a vice, but not one that I’d be upset about. You’re usually the most vocal, pillow over your face, or face pressed into my shoulder. Then, you’re there. And I’m there, or close enough. You just look so peaceful and emotional in the most wonderful of ways. You’re not worried about how you look. Or how your hair looks spread across the sheets unevenly. You just feel everything at once. And I find that so amazing.” he whispers into your ear, and it took everything in you not to take him right then and there.

  Unabara didn’t give you a quickie that night. Or the ol’ suck and fuck. He took his time, even after you cried on his shoulder. And admitted your flaws to him. He made sure you were fine every step of the way. Holding your hand. Breathing into your neck as to not overstimulate his own ears. He even took the time to kiss over every last mark and scar from childhood on your legs before eating you out. I mean, yeah, you were ready to shove his entire face in your vagina. But the sheer amount of effort he went through to make sure that you were comfortable, and happy (in that moment at least). It honestly could push you to tears. How could someone care so much about another? They’d go through hours of love and appreciation, just to see you smile, or almost wake up the neighbors. 

  Tears fell down your face once more that night as you cuddled into Neptune’s chest. You listened to his heartbeat as his hands lay once more on your back. He looked at you with so much love and support. And you couldn’t help but crack under that pressure. Pressure to reciprocate. You always did. Somehow. Even in those moments where you pondered researching panic methods just to feel some relief. But you made it. And he found you worthy. Then slowly, slowly, you found yourself worthy as well.

Masterlist

[plotting-against-you]

Can We Keep Him?

Fandom: The Umbrella Academy

Characters: Diego Hargreeves, Klaus Hargreeves, Vanya Hargreeves, Grace Hargreeves, Allison Hargreeves, Luther Hargreeves, Five Hargreeves

Prompt: Anon gave me the prompt about them finding a dog.

Warnings: slight mention of homophobic violence, but nothing graphic and if you blink you’ll miss it.

The house was unusually quiet for a Friday night, though Diego figured it was because of the storm going on outside. The sound of the drops hitting the windows created a relaxed environment that soothed the ache in their souls as they recovered from their time-traveling adventures.

As he sat on his bed, he briefly wondered where his siblings were.

He’d seen Allison and Luther head up to the attic, as it was the best spot to talk and reconnect. Though everyone was unsure about whatever they were to each other (including themselves, it seemed), they all knew the two needed time to talk.

Five was in the library, trying to catch up on the things he’d missed while he was gone. He knew that if he was going to be integrating himself back into the 2019 society, he would need to pull it off. Diego had also caught him scribbling equations more than once in passing and had an inkling he was trying to upgrade his body from the teenage one he currently had to that of a thirty-year-old to match his siblings.

Vanya, though having gained a new confidence from her time without memories, had quickly suffered from the trauma of getting those memories back and had locked herself in her room not long after their return. Every one of them had tried and failed to coax her out, letting her know that none of it was her fault and that they all had things they needed to fix, but so far nothing had worked. It was a shared notion that they were all worried about her.

However, she wasn’t the only one they worried about.

Though he hadn’t spoken much about what happened during his three years in the ‘60s, everyone could feel the grief jumping off of him. Allison had also mentioned his break from sobriety, having heard it from Ben, and it made Diego wonder what could have hurt him so severely that he would break after that long.

Just as the thought crossed his mind, a loud bang was heard from downstairs, making him jump and instinctively grab a knife. “Guys help!”

He quickly made his way to the first floor, running into Five, Allison, and Luther as he went. As they rushed down the stairs, they could see that Klaus was covered in a long feminine trench coat, and his body was hunched inside of it. They could hear him murmuring something quietly, but couldn’t make out what it was from where they were.

“Klaus!” Diego was two steps ahead of his siblings. “What happened?”

Looking up at them, Klaus’ eyes were wild with tears, and he could see bruises forming on his brother’s skin. “He’s hurt, Diego!”

Running to him, Diego stopped with a halt as his vision finally saw what Klaus was talking about. “What the hell is that?”

Smacking him, Five crouched to the floor, running his hand over the soft fur. “Don’t tell me you’ve never seen a dog before?”

Rolling his eyes, Diego looked down on them. “What I meant was what is it doing in the house?”

“He’s hurt!” Klaus shouted again, visibly shaken.

“Who’s hurt?”

Turning, they all watched as Grace hurried into the room and straight for her son. Before turning back to the situation, Diego noted Vanya standing quietly on the balcony, watching them.

“You can help him, right?” Klaus asked his mom.

Kneeling to the ground beside her kids, Grace smiled warmly at him. “I’ll need to see him first, darling.”

Nodding quickly, Klaus opened his coat a bit more, revealing a small, trembling husky puppy. He was whimpering, and they could see the small patch of blood on his side.

“Oh, such a sweet thing.” Grace cooed and let the puppy sniff her hand before nuzzling his face against her. “We’ll get you fixed right up. Klaus, honey, why don’t you bring him to the infirmary and let me take a look?”

Their brother was on his feet as soon as the words were out of her mouth. Sharing a look with the others, Diego followed them. He waited until Klaus laid the puppy on the table before questioning him.

“Klaus, what happened?”

“I was on my way home.” The taller man told them. “I was almost home when these guys came out of nowhere and jumped me.”

“What?”

Diego hadn’t known his siblings followed him, but he wasn’t surprised.

“They said some things, got in a few hits,” Klaus mumbled. “I got in a few too, before this little guy showed up. Jumped in front of me and growled, the precious thing.

“The guys just laughed, and one of them tried to walk over him, but he jumped up and bit his ankle.” He sounded proud as he looked down at the puppy, who laid obediently as Grace cleaned and stitched his wound. “One of the other guys kicked him away, and he got a gash in his side.”

“What happened to the guys?” Luther asked quickly, and Diego appreciated the speed in which their brother was ready to defend him.

“Oh, I was finally able to manifest a few ghosts.” Klaus shrugged. “They got scared and ran after that.”

Allison moved over to pet the husky’s head, and the dog licked her hand in return. “Our little hero.”

“I couldn’t leave him out there!” Klaus said suddenly, his voice becoming high-pitched and panicked.

Putting his hand on Klaus’ shoulder, Diego nodded. “It’s okay, bro.”

“There we go.” Grace smiled as she put away her tools. “Good as new.”

The puppy instantly looked around the room and relaxed once he laid his eyes on Klaus. Leaning over his new friend, Klaus put his head against the dog’s head and spoke quietly again. Then he rose again and looked at them, speaking the words that they were all dreading.

“Can we keep him?”

…

Diego stood in the doorway of his brother’s room, watching as he slept peacefully. The dog, who Klaus had dubbed Balto (“It’s my favorite kid’s movie, Diego!” “I’m not calling him that.”), was curled up next to him with his head on Klaus’ stomach. Both slept soundly, as if protecting each other from the world.

Shaking his head, Diego sighed and walked back to his own room. After Klaus had taken Balto back to his room, the four remaining siblings worried amongst themselves about his attachment to the dog. They were all firmly against keeping it, so Allison had suggested checking with local shelters the following day to see if anyone was missing their pet.

Diego could only hope they would reunite another family with their dog, or they’d have a really tough time talking their brother out of his idea.

…

The world hated them, Diego knew. They’d spent all morning calling shelters and veterinary offices in hopes of finding the dog’s home, but they hadn’t had any luck. One woman working at a shelter had recognized his description, noting him as a frequent flyer in their establishment before being adopted—then it would happen all over again.

Though the thought made all of them sad—who adopts a pet just to abandon them—they knew they couldn’t keep him. Puppies were expensive and required lots of training, not to mention the fact that none of them were stable enough to handle taking care of a dog. Most of them couldn’t take care of themselves.

Now they just had to convince Klaus of that.

Whispering quietly to themselves, they walked up the stairs to Klaus’ room, ready to explain why they couldn’t keep the puppy, but when they arrived, they weren’t there. Confused, they looked at each other before hearing happy barks (at least they sounded happy to Diego) coming from down the hall. When they arrived near the sound, they froze at the sight in front of them.

The door to Vanya’s room was open, and both she and Klaus sat on the floor, Balto between them. He was licking their hands excitedly and jumping around playfully, landing partially in their laps as he went.

It was the first time they’d been able to coax her out, and it was because of the damn dog.

“Oh, hi, guys!” Klaus smiled and waved at them.

Looking up, Vanya gave them a small smile, though they could all feel the anxiety rolling off of her. Sensing it at the same time they did, Balto jumped fully into her lap and began to lick her face. When he licked her nose, she let out an involuntary laugh and hugged him gently.

It was the happiest they’d seen her in years.

“What are you guys up to?” Klaus asked, a glint of fear flashing through his eyes.

Diego shook his head and sat on the floor next to him. “I just…Klaus, we…”

Balto jumped into his lap, and Diego thought it looked like he was smiling at him. He looked up and saw Klaus and Vanya staring at him, hope in their eyes, and sighed.

“I’m not picking up any dog shit, you understand?” He told them. “And if he pees on my bed, I’m coming after you.”

Klaus clapped happily, and Vanya smiled, the first genuinely positive thing she’d done since they’d been home. Diego didn’t think he’d seen either one of them so relaxed and genuine in their entire lives.

As if he understood what Diego had said, Balto rested his front paws on the man’s chest and licked his cheek. Turning to look at the others who stood behind him, the man in black shrugged.

“Welcome to the family, Balto.”

He was never going to hear the end of this.

[newcolonies]

Going Under

Authors Note: I’m back and so ready to start writing again! I know this is kinda angsty but I got some fluffy fics I’m working on and so excited for you guys to read! Also I just wanted to say a big thanks to @openheart12 for allowing me to snatch Jonah’s name! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: mention of drowning

Word Count: 1,800

Tag list: @openheart12 @noboundariesplease @trappedinfandoms @caseyvalentineramsey @junehiratas @kaavyaethanramsey @choices-love-affair @queencarb @lilyvalentine @rookieoh @siaramsey @thanialis

*If you would like to be added or removed from the list just let me know. 

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Ethan buckled Jonah into the car seat. He had recently turned three and had become terribly curious, and energetic. Sitting in one place for an extended period had become a daunting job for him. Ethan had finished his task and made his way over to the driver's seat. Today's adventure consisted of visiting grandpa Naveen at his lake house. Ethan and Casey had kindly declined Naveen's offer only because Jonah could be a lot to handle at times. And taking into consideration the older doctor's health, Ethan hadn't wanted to bring more stress upon him. But of course, Naveen insisted that the pair bring the little one up to the house. They made their way through his driveway. A small wooden palace hidden behind large beefy trees, a petite dock laid next to the house extending only a short way into the water. Naveen sat peacefully on a wooden porch swing swaying slowly, he offered a small smile to the family that was now walking up to the deck.

"Grandpa!" Jonah shrieked as he ran up to Naveen. The man swiftly lifted the boy onto his lap. Jonah wrapped his slim arms around Naveen. Ethan and Casey made their way up to the porch hand in hand, a large smile present on both of their faces. 

"Hello, Naveen," Ethan said with a curt nod. 

"Hello, my boy," Naveen said before directing his attention towards Casey. "How are you, my dear." He said glancing down at the large bulge that was her stomach. 

"I'm doing great," Casey said moving a hand on the top of her abdomen. She had been pregnant with their second child for about thirty-seven weeks. They were having another little boy to which they agreed to name Flynn Timothy Ramsey. They decided to name him after Casey's grandfather, a brilliant man, and a father figure in Casey's life. "All though I am ready for this little stinker to be born."

"I bet," Naveen said with a snicker. Naveen moved his attention to Jonah who was flipping through the medical book that Naveen had been reading before the family arrived. "Jonah, would you like to go swimming?" Naveen said swooping the young child in his arms while he stood. A bright smile developed on Jonah's face as he eagerly shook his head up and down.

  Before Naveen could walk down towards the dock, Ethan took Jonah out of his arms. "Allow me to lighten the load. You should be taking it easy." Ethan said giving Naveen an all too knowing look.

"My boy, you worry too much," Naveen replied and with that he led the way over to the dock, limping ever so slightly. 

Once at the dock Ethan let Jonah out of his arms. The view was astonishing, almost too perfect to be seen by any human being. A large mountain range encapsulated by trees and rolling hills. 

"Beautiful isn't it? Now you can understand why I hadn't wanted to stay in that monotonous hospital." Naveen said with a smile.

"It is beautiful, but that is no excuse for you to ignore your health," Ethan said cocking an eyebrow at Naveen.

  Naveen gave a slight chuckle. "Maybe. But is a life worth living if you never allow yourself to see the beauty in life itself and I can assure you there is no beauty in a hospital room." Naveen said placing a hand on Ethan's shoulder, a peaceful silence engulfing them. There was no point in fighting Naveen no matter how wrong Ethan had thought his opinions on the matter had been. "Well, make yourselves at home," Naveen said breaking the silence between the two. "I'm going to prepare the food, I'll be back in a bit." 

"Do you need help?" Ethan called after him. "I don't want you to take in more than you can handle." 

"Enjoy yourself, Ethan. You never know the next time you may be able to relax, so take this opportunity while it's still available." Naveen said before walking in the direction of the house. 

Ethan moaned of frustration "Why won't he just let me help him? I don't understand." Ethan said taking a seat next to his wife.

"Honey, he's right, just relax," Casey said laying her hand on the top off his thigh "Besides if you stress over the small things too much you may get gray hair," Casey said searching his beard for lighter hair. "Never mind I guess it's too late for that" Casey said laughing as she ran her fingers through the side of his beard. 

"Haha laugh it up, but I'd like to have you know that these grays arrived when I met a specific intern. You may know her as a colossal pain in the ass." Ethan said slyly smiling at her. 

"Okay, I deserved that," Casey said a small pout on her face. 

"Mommy!" Jonah said impatiently pointing towards the water. 

"Jonah don’t go near the water until you have your arm floaties on," Casey said getting up from her seat and grabbing the plastic floaties out of the bag. 

"I had better go help Naveen, he may be getting himself into trouble," Ethan said as he started walking over to the house. 

Jonah stared at the water, watching the small ripples move out into the middle of the lake. He inched closer so he could get a better look at the small waves. Jonah reached his hand off the side of the dock. His hand was hanging just inches from touching the water. He pushed his body forward sending just enough momentum to send him tumbling into the body of water. A small splash erupted from the fall. 

"Jonah?" Casey said as she peered at the dock, the arm floats still in her hands. "Jonah?" she said again searching for any sight of the child. "Where’s Jonah?" Casey said to herself panic engulfing her. Her breathes became short and light.  "Ethan!" She screamed an attempt to get her husband to help. Her body froze in place, panic and anxiety-filled her. She felt light-headed, she felt empty.

  Ethan ran outside, shaken by the sound of his screaming wife. "Casey, what's wrong? Are you okay?" Ethan breathlessly asked "Wait where is Jonah." Ethan said color leaving his face. 

The splashing occurred once more in the water. Ethan glanced over toward the sound, a burst of realization hitting him. He jumped into the water, no other thoughts, no other motives than saving his son from the depths of the lake that held him. Ethan grabbed under the water wrapping his arms around Jonah's limp body. He pulled Jonah out of the water and laid him gently on the dock before pulling himself onto the dock. Any emotions he should have felt were overtaken by the adrenaline that was raging throughout his body sending him straight into doctoring mode. He placed his fingers over Jonah's neck, a light pulse was present. Ethan started the process of CPR.

"Come on the little guy, wake up, stay with us," Ethan said with each compression.  After two rounds of chest compressions, Jonah coughed, water dribbling from his mouth.

  "Oh my God," Casey said breathlessly. She had silently been praying that their son would be okay, and thankfully her prayers had been answered. Jonah coughed water up once again.

  Ethan grabbed Jonah in his arms and hugged him tightly. The realization that he had almost lost his son suddenly dawned on him. His son almost just drowned. His Jonah had almost just drowned. The words turning over and over again in his mind. These exact thoughts made him sick to his stomach. A small tear fell from Ethan's eyes followed my another. He released his grip on Jonah.

  "Daddy?" Jonah said softly confusion etched over his face.  

Casey made her way over to her husband and wrapped her arms around Jonah. "Honey, are you alright?" Casey said tears were still falling from her eyes.

"Yes?” Jonah said still confused.

 Casey let out another sigh of relief. Naveen walked out of the house with a tray in his hands and a bright smile on his face. One glance at the distraught faces of Ethan and Casey turned his happiness to utter confusion and sadness.

"Did Jonah fall into the water?" Naveen asked. He knew by the looks on their faces that he was right.

Ethan noded his head. Naveen looked from Ethan and Casey to poor little Jonah. His heart dropped. He felt sorrow and guilt well up inside of him. He felt that it had partially been his fault because the accident had happened at his house. He immediately shook these thoughts away. All that really mattered to him was that Jonah was alive and breathing well. He would have to deal with these negative feelings later.

  "You know what, I'll take Jonah in the house and give him a little exam just to make sure his lungs aren't full of water and that his heart is beating normally. You two can are welcome to come inside and join me if you would like." Naveen said grasping Jonah's small hand in his, and leading him towards the house.

"We'll be there in a minute." Ethan said roughly, his throat was still tight as he was trying to hold back the tears that needed to be released. Naveen nodded, then closed the door behind him and Jonah. 

"Ethan, I'm so sorry." Casey finally said as the tears began to rapidly flow running smoothly down her face. "I should have been watching him, I should have been there, there’s so many things I should have done." Her words were almost inaudible, as she began to sob harder. "Maybe I'm not cut out for parenting after all." She said stumbling on her words as they got caught in her throat. 

"Casey, don't ever say that. Sure you should have been watching him, but you can't change what the outcome was. All you can do is learn from the situation." Ethan said. He could feel his own tears running down his face. "You are a wonderful mom and wife, and I will always believe that no matter what happens." He said wiping away a tear from her cheek. "Always." He said almost in a whisper. 

Casey leaned her head on his shoulder. He always had said the right words to comfort her. He had always been there for her even though she made grave errors. She was so thankful that somehow she had ended up with a man like Ethan.They sat like this in silence, because they didn’t need to talk to understand what the other thought or  what the other felt. But most importantly they comforted each other, even through the silence.

Suddenly Jonah came running out of the house towards the two. He sat himself down on Ethan's lap and laid his legs  acrossed Casey's. 

"He's in perfect condition, the only thing in his lungs is air, and his heart is beating normally. A miracle I would say." Naveen said as he walked up to the couple and sat down next to Ethan.

  "Thanks, Naveen," Ethan said as he firmly held Jonah close to him. They were going to make mistakes, that was a given. But as long as they stuck together through the thick and the thin they would make it through. Even in the foggiest of nights together they would be the light that gets them through.

[the-hilda-librarians-wife]

Most Powerful Magic - Chapter Three

Summary:  Set a few months after the end of the events of Family Fights, Hilda and the librarian’s sister are tired of seeing Johanna and Maven dancing around each other and decide to take matters into their own hands

Notes: I’m not really happy with the writing in this chapter, but I suppose it’s the shenanigans that really matter, right? :’) Anyways  I hope you enjoyed reading this little fic as much as I enjoyed writing it! Now excuse me while I get in fetal position and try to manifest a sketchbook interaction while season 2 doesn’t come out

Read it on ao3: [Family Fights] (chpt1) (chpt2) (chpt3)

For all her flaws, Myra had never considered herself to be a gossip, at times being a little bit too private, in fact. But that day, she was proud to say that she was going to put her nose where she absolutely hadn’t been called.

As she chose her most basic jacket and put it on, she mused about how her Marra powers would have come in handy for what she was about to do. But alas, she had none of it anymore. It won’t be a problem, she told herself. Nothing more natural than a teenager hanging out with a blue haired girl in the park. Following a couple around. And hiding behind bushes. Yes, not suspicious at all.

Maven had left the house a good ten minutes prior, however Myra was still very cautious when she closed the front door behind her. In case something had happened and her sister was still lurking on the front yard, the excuse that she was simply going to hang out with a friend was at the ready on the tip of her tongue. It wasn’t exactly a lie.

Not having found any traces of Maven, Myra hopped on her bike and began cycling away, ready to pick up the second member of her party.

As a precaution, she didn’t make the turn onto her street right away, but rather decided to walk to the corner and take a glance at the front of Hilda’s building. The last thing she needed was to be caught by Maven when she was picking up her date.

Since once more the coast was found clear, she climbed on her bicycle again and stopped directly in front of the building’s front door. Hilda must have been watching the movement in the street as she waited for her, because she came out almost immediately.

“Mum seemed very happy!” Hilda said as she climbed on the back seat, sounding genuinely pleased for her mother. “They left a very short time ago, maybe it’s better if we go slowly.”

“You’re right. Let’s take the long way.”

They didn’t worry about losing the two women as they took a completely different path, following through the streets at the edge of the city in order to eventually arrive at the park which was in its core. Hilda had taken care of that by getting out of her mother the information of exactly which restaurant they’d be eating at.

Even though she was not the greatest fan of bikes, still not having become entirely comfortable with them even though her friends had taught her how to ride them, Hilda thought that being Myra’s passenger as they unhurriedly traveled through the city was very enjoyable. It allowed her mind to wander, and not surprisingly it was filled with thoughts of her mother. She did so hope she’d find happiness. The woman had always been so focused on her daughter’s safety and well being, but Hilda suspected she felt alone.

Her friend’s parents didn’t really talk to her, and nor did many of the other adults she’d seen her mother attempting to interact with. Guilt nagged her mind because she knew this was partially her fault, that people thought her mother mad because of the adventures she went on and the creatures she befriended. But Maven didn’t think Johanna was mad. She didn’t think Hilda was mad either. She’d told them - or at least, she’d told Hilda, but the girl knew the sentiment extended to her mother as well - that she found them wonderful and that being with them made her happy. Hilda knew Maven made her mother happy too, and not only because she helped Johanna deal with her shenanigans or because she was another adult who would bring herself to talk to her. They simply… matched. They brought out the best in each other. And even though the librarian was already part of Hilda’s family in every way that mattered, it would be nice to officially have her in it

Having Myra would be nice too, she mused with a smile as the teenager cursed under her breath about an irresponsible driver. Though even more people might stop talking to Johanna if Hilda and Myra were allowed to plot together with frequency.

“Alright kid, here we are.” Her voice cut through Hilda’s thoughts as she put one foot on the pavement, stopping the bicycle. Even though they’d just arrived, the sounds of birds chirping and leaves rustling with the wind on the lush trees already filled their ears. “Aw, what a lovely place! I bet it wasn’t Mavey who chose it.”

That park was famous for having a few restaurants, as well as for holding a market on mondays, and the one beside them was made of brown bricks that had been painted to look older than they were. The building in itself was small and looked somewhat out of place with all the green surrounding it, only big enough for the kitchen and a few seats, so there were many more on the outside where the patrons could enjoy the park’s view better. Among those, they quickly spotted Maven and Johanna.

Not surprisingly, Johanna seemed to be talking excitedly while Maven blushed and nodded nervously. Since they knew what the situation looked like for her, the two girls though it was not a very promising behaviour for a date, but taking into consideration that Johanna didn’t, they hoped she’d brush off her partner’s conduct as first date anxiety.

“I guess we need to find somewhere we can hear them but they can’t see us.” Myra said. Instinctively, the two of them had hidden behind a tree as soon as they arrived, which attracted a few odd stares in their direction. Since none of those were from the people they were spying on, they paid no mind.

“Over there!” Hilda pointed to some bushes relatively close to their table, but not close enough to be on the restaurant’s limits. It probably would attract a great deal of attention if they got caught and asked to leave by a waiter.

They sneaked behind the back of the restaurant so as not to be seen, and quickly settled themselves where the bushes covered them. Or at least, they covered Hilda. Myra had to constantly remind herself to not sit up straight so her head wouldn’t be visible.

“So, we need to watch out for a kiss so Maven doesn’t say something that ruins it all… but we can’t pay attention to what they’re saying all the time?” Hilda whispered so as to check the plan.

“Well, I mean, we can pay attention, but I would rather not know so much about my sister’s romantic life.”

The girl chuckled. “Nor I about my mother’s. We will probably notice if they stop speaking for too long, anyway. Right?”

“Yeah.” As she nodded, Myra was already going over what she would say when they did kiss on her head. “Now all we have to do is wait and hope they aren’t as hopeless as they seem.”

_#_#_#_

When Maven had asked her out on a date, Johanna had been thrilled. It hadn’t really come out of nowhere, they’d been dancing around their feelings for months now, even if Johanna had never allowed herself to hope that Maven truly did like her that way. So when the invitation came, she hadn’t even hesitated to agree and suggest a restaurant she’d heard very good things about.

Things hadn’t, however, gone quite like she imagined they would. By inviting her, Maven had made Johanna believe that she was already somewhat comfortable with her feelings, and also comfortable around her, due to them seeing each other so much since Hilda began being trained. That didn’t seem to be the case, however, considering Maven had spent a great deal of the date looking out of place and anxious.

Not that the librarian had been rude, far from it, perhaps she’d been a little too polite for two people who already knew so much about the other. This was what concerned Johanna. She’d had a good time regardless of anything, but judging by her behavior she highly doubted that Maven had too. Whether this was coming from having second thoughts about dating Johanna, or from being naturally shy in situations like that, it still meant that the date was probably not going well, and if it wasn’t going well… Maven would probably not want to repeat it.

She spent their date trying to get these thoughts out of her mind, concentrating on their conversation since it was her doing most of the talking, but her mind couldn’t help but revisit these worries every once in a while. When they were done eating and Maven invited her for a stroll in the park, Johanna thought that maybe this was her idea of going somewhere private to let her down gently. She knew Maven would be very courteous about it, but she still wasn’t looking forward to being told that that attempt had been a mistake.

That was the reason why, when Maven stopped walking and placed herself directly in front of her right before asking for permission to kiss her, Johanna was so shocked she became motionless for a second. When her consciousness returned to her, she accepted, perhaps with a little too much happiness.

Though she eagerly tangled her fingers in Maven’s smooth hair like she had daydreamed about doing for so long, the librarian restricted herself to placing her hands on Johanna’s upper arms. Johanna could feel her heartbeat quicken at the first taste of Maven, like fall and coffee and a hint of the wine they’d just had, but even her excitement didn’t stop her from noticing how very controlled Maven’s movements felt as she kissed her. Was she always like this, Johanna wondered.

She was breathing quicker than normal when the kiss ended and Maven drew back, and she would have smiled, had she not noticed how her date was staring deeply into her eyes, clearly looking for something.

“I’m sorry.” Maven said, her widened eyes making it look like she’d seen a ghost. Johanna blushed with embarrassment, and took her hands away from her hair to cross her arms on her chest.

“Are you?” Looking down, she asked in a small voice.

“Yes! I promise I didn’t want to take advantage in any way, I just needed to do that to break the spell!”

Johanna blinked and brought her eyes back to the librarian. “Spell?” She repeated, wondering if the one glass of wine she’d drunk had had a bigger effect on her than she had imagined.

“Well-”

Maven was about to explain the situation, hoping to defend herself well enough that Johanna would bear her no ill will after all of this ended, when they both gasped as two figures jumped from behind the nearest tree.

“We’re going to stop you right there before you say something you'll regret!” Myra said, making Maven choke in her own confusion. At the same time, Johanna gasped her daughter’s name and blushed even harder when she realized that she’d been watching the scene.

“We apologize a lot for the intrusion!” Hilda was haste to add, trying to get the words out before her brain could focus too much on all the conflicting emotions in the women’s faces and lose her train of thought completely. “But we have to admit to saying some untruths before either of you do anything else.”

While Johanna could barely get past her confusion, wondering why on earth the two of them had chosen that time to be honest about past mistakes, Maven narrowed her eyes and whispered for them to go on.

“So yeah, that whole love spell thing was kind of a sham.” Myra said as she watched Johanna frown. “I didn’t ask Hilda for anything, and she didn’t cast a thing. Johanna is just naturally like that around you and you had never noticed like the thick headed- OW!”

Before Myra could go on and make matters worse, Hilda brought down her heel on her foot, though without enough strength to justify the teen’s yelp of pain.

“We noticed that you liked each other-“

“‘Cause you’re terrible at hiding it.”

“We noticed you liked each other.” Hilda repeated with a glare at Myra as if to tell her to be civil. “And decided to help along!”

Seeing that her mother wasn’t understanding much, Hilda directed her speech at her. She supposed that plan really was quite complicated. “So basically we pretended to have cast a love spell on you, one that could only be undone by having Maven kiss you, and she kind of fell for it. Since she didn’t want you to be forced to love her, she tried to break it! Of course, now that you both know there is no spell… well, we’ll leave that up to you.”

“The two of you have got to be kidding me.” Maven hissed, but judging by the blush covering her face, they easily guessed that her anger was an attempt at hiding her awkwardness.

“Gee, would you look at the time!” Grabbing Hilda’s wrist, Myra made a show of looking at her nonexistent watch. “Hilda and I really have got to go, see ya around!”

Saying this they began running away to the opposite direction, where they would find Myra’s bike again and each head home, hoping their respective adults would be feeling particularly forgiving when they arrived later.

Though she herself had been rendered motionless, Maven had expected to hear Johanna screaming after her daughter, maybe even running after her to prevent her from escaping. Instead, what she heard was a nervous chuckle.

“You like me?”

Maven inhaled sharply, turning to her date. What a fool she must look like, and yet, Johanna was smiling shyly at her.

“Of course I do. It’s…” She buried her hands on her pants’ pockets, uncomfortably looking at Johanna’s shoes instead of her face. “It’s very easy to.”

Looking at her feet as she had been, Maven noticed it when Johanna stepped closer right before putting a finger under her chin to lift her gaze up. There was no judgment or resentment on her warm, honey coloured eyes.

“This is good to know. I like you too, a lot.”

Maven felt stupid for gasping, but she did. A few nights had been spent dreaming about a scenario like this, albeit with less interference from meddling children, but it truly was happening, and Johanna didn’t look like she was saying that just to not make Maven feel like her feelings were unrequited.

Now that she had processed the information more, had Johanna not accepted this whole date and the kiss without being bewitched?

“Can we continue this date, then?” Johanna asked, still sounding a little insecure for reasons Maven couldn’t fathom. “With everything cleared this time?”

“I’d like nothing best.”

When Johanna smiled brightly at her, Maven felt like her heart would beat right out of her chest, and she was sure her answering smile must have looked silly and love struck, but it didn’t matter. Johanna said she liked her. Even with all she knew, even with all they’d been through, Johanna cared for her in the same way she did.

It was such a strange, wonderful feeling. She could see everything clearly now, how Johanna’s hugs always lingered, how she seemed so happy when she’d stay for dinner, the way she always looked extremely interested when she told her she was reading a romance. Suddenly all those things became clear at the same time that she felt a cloud come over her head, blocking any other thoughts she may have and any wishes other than being with this woman. So strange it was, that she couldn’t compare it to anything other than witchcraft.

She’d been disastrously wrong all her life, she realized as Johanna took her hand and invited her to walk down the park to where the rose bushes were. Love really was the most powerful magic of all.

[aryn-writes]

And we are back to over sharing to deal with my mental health

TW: Caps, Eating Disorders, Self-Harm, Depression, Anxiety

Venting Post!

I am so tired. And before you ask, yes I sleep over six hours every night. When I can, I sleep over 12. So my sleeping is not the issue.

The issue is that I have no fucking clue how to exist anymore.

I was initially trying to remain as the person that I was. They were a happyish ray of sunshine that was so good at helping people. And they did! People came to them daily to vent, get advice, or just letting them know that they are doing better. And I wasn’t doing great mentally then, but I was making improvements!

It has been over a year since we went into lockdown.

And you know, there have been good things that came out of the isolation.

I know I am nonbinary! And I was getting closer to dressing how I want!

But I am exhausted.

While I am at a healthy weight now, I have been slipping in and out of my ED habits. My family has also been continuously shitting on me for gaining weight. (if you’re curious, I am 5’4” [~162 cm] at 135 lbs [~61 kg]. I used to be at 100 lbs [45 kg]. And I would continuously dip back in double digits.) So, I have a fear that I’m going tot get bad again and that is just not something that I can handle at the moment.

I also can’t socialize, because holy fuck that shit is terrifying.

Like there are times when I can’t even talk to my family.

My closest friends? One of them messages me daily to make sure I’ve eaten at least one thing (which I agree, very kind, but I will explain why I don’t like it in a bit.) The other I haven’t talked to in months and it is so awkward when we try to talk. All the other people I used to consider close haven’t talked to me in a year, even after I would attempt to reach out to them.

I know that it is partially my fault; I am horrible at messaging and keeping conversations going is one of my weaker points, even in person. Along with that, I have been having depressive episodes more often that I care to keep track of, and I push people away and isolate myself during those times. So I get that it might be difficult to talk to me.

But there are people who I will reach out to, and they read the message and just don’t respond.

Like... I will literally say “hey! It’s been a while, how have you been?” (No response)

A week goes by

“I’m just checking in to make sure you’re doing alright” (left on read)

Another week

“Me and this person wanted to plan a small hang out online! She found this really cool website that we can play games, and we can use discord to chat. Wanna join?” (No response)

And it goes on.

For over seven months.

So if you have an active imagination and are prone to overthinking, you can imagine that my thoughts are “well shit. They just don’t like me and were only friendly bc i was dating him.” (Him being my ex boyfriend; we broke up a month into the quarantine.)

And so that kinda fucked with my anxiety even more.

I don’t blame them for not talking to me. The logical part of me understands that sometimes you just don’t respond, or maybe you forget or just don’t want to. I get that. But the part of me that has been overwhelming is pretty much like, everyone hates you and you’re a burden.

And it’s really hard to open up to the people you are close to when you feel this way.

So we come back to the close friend who checks that I’ve eaten.

He is wonderful, do not get me wrong. We became acquaintances around September 2019, and friends a few months after. At this time, I was dating my ex, who was an acquaintance to the close friend. (We are going to call the close friend Edward from here on out.)

At that time, I was struggling with my body image and my eating disorder. (Every year I go through a relapse and recovery, it fucking sucks and sometimes the relapse take over almost the whole year, but not the point right now.) One of his first memories of me is me having a panic attack because I ate a sandwich.

So during this pandemic, Edward has been messaging me to make sure I’m eating, because he doesn’t want me to get really bad again. Which is nice!

Except he doesn’t really understand mental illness.

He has been trying! Do not get me wrong, he does try. But his way of going about talking to me during a depressive episode is “Just don’t let it get to you” And “Be happy” and my favorite, “I don’t get why it’s so bad.”

😃🤡

Along with that, he gets incredibly upset when I don’t respond to his messages within like thirty minutes.

Keep in mind, I have been going through many, many depressive episodes and am constantly struggling to get out of bed and keep up with my school work. I have told him this. I have told him that sometimes I just cannot handle checking my messages and participating in conversation.

And a side note, I am in my last year of high school. Which mean I have online learning and in a few months I will be graduating. Which means I have a few classes I need to pass in order to graduate. If you keep up with most high schoolers, we have been getting an absurd amount of work with due dates every fucking day. That plus depression does not go well, and so I am very tired all the time, but since we have actual lectures instead of recordings, I keep my camera on for every single class because the teacher’s get sad if we don’t. And yes, there are classes where it is just me and the teacher with our cameras on. And yes I constantly disassociate during class and stop focusing because I forget to.

So yeah, it is fucking hard to just keep up with that, and socializing isn’t really something my brain sees as important because of the constant negative energy I receive when I do try to talk to people. So I have told him that as of late, it is just difficult to do much besides school, and things that produce any sort of serotonin or dopamine.

And he got upset that talking to him wasn’t making me happy!

Which, it does! Because he is a great friend! But he is so rude about the things involving my mental illnesses! And acts like he understands it better because he is in a psychology class! So in this state, I do not feel as comfortable talking to him since he only wants the ‘happy’ version of me that struggles to eat so that he can ‘fix’ my eating disorder and be able to feel like he did something!

But I continue to try to talk to him, because he is an only child and I am one of his only actual friends. (I really wish I was kidding, but when we became close, he told me that I was the first person to ever actually care about how he’s feeling and how he is actually doing rather than just taking advantage of his presence. He almost cried when I said that I appreciated his existence.)

And I do care about him. Edward is definitely a close friend, and I appreciate that he tries. But lately, he only does it for the validation of knowing he did something good, and it feels like he is just tired of having me around since I can’t bring myself to speak much.

So I have been trying to push myself to be a good friend to him. And I am doing what I can to pretend that I am getting better so that he can be happier. Which is just tiring me out even more.

I feel empty most of the time now, and I am so easily put over the edge. I can hide it pretty well, but it has been getting to the point where I am contemplating self harm again just to feel something.

I don’t remember how to properly do things. I am really just trying to get through every day. But it feels like I am headed straight for doom and I am so tired of it and I just want to leave!

Which in a few months, technically I will. I hope to go out of state for college (to get as far as I possibly can from all of this shit) but as I apply to more scholarships, I want to scream and cry because I have no clue how I am going to pay for college because my parents make too much money and my mother spends it all on herself so I am stressed out. I didn’t do enough extracurriculars, and I have been rejected from so many scholarships that it’ s starting to look like I might need to stay here, and I can’t do that. I just can’t.

So I have been crying and trying to escape from this shit, and I feel like at some point I might just constantly think that nothing is real and none of this shit matters, because that is on my mind more and more.

But hey! I have been reading, writing, gaming, watching anime and drawing to cope so that shit exists (even though it’s all shit so I won’t post it) and I’m making improvements with that so that is something?

I don’t fucking know lol.

I am just tired, and this was a rant. I don’t fucking care. Hope you have a good day!

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #337

“if i showed you my soul, would you cover your eyes?”

What's your favorite brand of chips? I like Lays best. Are you a good painter? My Painting teacher when I was in college last said I did wonderfully, but I definitely beg to differ. Before buying a car, do you usually test drive it? N/A Have you ever written a poem and then read it aloud? No, but a teacher has. It was so fucking awkward; it was very pacifist, the topic being about war, and it had some depressing tones of death; there was just silence at the end of it, and I still don't know if it was shock or "what the fuck, she's messed up." There was this one guy that went, "Nobody is going to clap at that?", though, which I thought was pretty nice and reassuring. Do you like pineapple? Yeah, I do. Have you ever met your favorite author? I don't have a favorite author. Have you and your best friend ever liked the same person? No. Do you have any freckles? Not on my face (though oddly enough, I did as a kid?), but on random parts of my body. How many different languages can you say goodbye in? English, German, and then Spanish. Do you like or hate the smell of fish? I hate it. Have you ever been to Sea World? As a child, yes. I'd never go as an adult. Do you know someone who suffers from short-term memory loss? I don't know how this is actually diagnosed, but my memory is absolutely fucking nightmarish, almost exclusively in short-term situations. I can remember the most obscure events from my childhood, but not what I said to you five seconds prior. I'm rather sure my medications have made it worse over time. Have you ever read any of John Green's books? I got like, one chapter or less into The Fault in Our Stars before the book got replaced with the Wings of Fire series, so I never finished it. Are you a protective person? I'm an immensely protective person over those that matter to me. Have you ever experienced an earthquake? No, thankfully. I'm terrified of earthquakes. What's one thing that makes everything in life worthwhile? The fact that to our proven knowledge, this is the only one we'll ever experience. What type of waffles do you like? (Plain, blueberry etc..) I prefer plain, but I can eat chocolate chip ones as well as blueberry and strawberry. Have you ever seen the show Wife Swap? Yeah, I actually quite like it. Do you like chicken or beef better? Or do you not eat meat? Chicken, I think. I eat meat, but wish I didn't. What brand of dish soap do you use? Dawn, usually. Do any of your neighbors have dogs? Yes, and they never shut up. Do you believe in fortune tellers? They're money-driver bullshitters. Have you ever been to one? No, and judging by the fervor in the above question, I hope you can tell I never would do so and thus monetarily support them. Do you like regular or chocolate milk better? Chocolate, of course. But I love normal milk, too. Once again, wish I didn't, though. Forcing a cow to constantly reproduce to lactate is pretty fucking cruel. Growing up, did you listen to country music? I actually did. Do you normally wash your hands in warm or cold water? If it's just a quick wash, it's usually cold because our water takes quite a few moments to warm up. However, if I'm looking to thoroughly wash my hands, it's gotta be relatively hot. Do you believe in mediums? I see them in a worse light than I do fortune tellers, so... Like sure, manipulate grieving people for profit, sounds great. Have you ever been to one? Obviously not. Have you ever dated someone on the football team? No. Do you have a gazebo at your house? No. Do you like tomatoes? Solely when straight from a garden and on a bacon and mayonnaise sandwich. Otherwise I am noooot a fan. Are you a competitive person? Not very, but there's a tiny spark in me, really when it just comes to photography. I hate it. Google or Bing? Does literally anyone use Bing? What's your favorite brand of bottled water? Essentia. Do you have any ceramic animals in your house or outside? Ummm I don't think so. Have you ever given someone flowers? Yes. What is something you might eat with a hamburger? Fries or mac and cheese. What is a sport that you’ve always wanted to play, but never got a chance to. None. What is a fruit that you might eat in the morning? A banana. Who might you send a selfie to? I don't send selfies to anyone. About how many pages is the longest book you’ve ever read? I THINK it surpassed 1,000? At least in the high hundreds. Who would you call first after getting engaged to tell them the news? Probably Mom. Around what time do you start feeling tired enough to go to sleep? Truth be told, it's usually arouund 7-8. I rarely make it to 9:00 nowadays. What trends do you refuse to give in to? I don't even know what's trendy right now. What subjects in history interest you most? As dark as it is, I find the Holocaust interesting to learn about. Are you superstitious in any way? No. How do you get rid of anxiety? What a relevant question, being in a partial hospitalization program right now. Coping skills that help me are doing deep breathing, mindfulness exercises, and a little jerk back to reality is splashing freezing cold water on my face. It also helps to talk it out with somebody, just get my feelings into words. Then if it's a true anxiety or panic attack, I have my "emergency" anxiety prescription. Are there any items of jewelry you never/rarely take off? My lip and tragus piercings never do, and I always wear two rings. Do you find yourself correcting people’s grammar often? Not really, no. It just seems rude and snobby to me, honestly, if it's not in an educational setting, like helping someone with an essay. Correcting someone in your average conversation is just... unnecessary, imo. Now if you're talking like in surveys and stuff, I definitely do in questions and such, but I don't point it out. Gummi worms: Yay or nay? Yay, love 'em. What do you do when you have ‘me time’? I only ever have "me" time, so what I always do... Do you lack common sense sometimes? I have a horrible lack of common sense, shit's embarrassing. Have you ever poured glue on your hand just to peel it off for fun? No. How do babies make you feel? "Nervous. They’re so damn breakable." <<<< Mood. Would you/Have you milked a cow? No, and I'm not interested. What really gives you the creeps? #!: seeing a baby move inside its mother's stomach. It will actually make me scream and/or cry because it just grosses me the fuck out. Whale sharks' mouths also creep me out big time. Do you ever eat leftover pizza cold? Yeah, I love cold pizza. When you're wanting a midnight snack, what do you normally get? We normally have cashew bars that I like if I'm really hungry. Which cartoon character would you want to keep as a pet? Obviously Pikachu. My niece loves Pikachu anyway, so she'd be ecstatic to see a real one. Or well, maybe I'd go for an Eevee. Not as dangerous with electricity and all but just as cute and small. Do you like marshmallows? Yeah. If you had the opportunity to live forever, would you take it? No. It would ruin so many factors of the temporary nature of life. Things would lose meaning, get old and boring, it'd be much easier to take advantage of things... There are many reasons why I have no desire to live forever. Hell, I even wonder if I want an afterlife for those same reasons. Did you ever really believe in Santa Claus? As a little kid, yeah. Do you like quesadillas? I like cheese, chicken, and shrimp ones. What's the greatest/most influential song you've ever heard? Ozzy's "Life Won't Wait." Do you prefer to pull off band-aids slowly or quickly? I tend to do it slowly. What was the last thing someone told you that had you at a loss for words? Uhhh I feel like Sara said something, but I don't remember what. What was the last health scare you had? Ugh... I'm kind of living in one now. As my legs have been worsening, I'm becoming increasingly concerned I'm eventually going to need a wheelchair for "walking" longer distances. And mind you, "long" for me is probably short for the average person. My knees do nothing but crack incessantly and burn when I use them, and they frequently feel like they're going to give way, and in a few rare instances, have. It's my own fucking fault for not sucking it up and exercising with my mom in the room, so I'd like to move on. What is your favorite filling for a piece of chocolate? Caramel. Do you enjoy the sound of birds chirping? I do. If applicable, what’s your favorite drug, and why? I don't do drugs, so. What was the last TV show you binge-watched? Avatar: The Last Airbender with Sara. Would you rather eat burgers or tacos? Definitely burgers. I don't like tacos. Did your mother change her maiden name when/if she got marred? Yes. What was the last job you applied for? Did you get the job? Deli worker, and yes. Do you use TikTok? No. What decorations do you have in your bathroom? None. Our bathroom is pretty small. Well, the one we use, anyway. The one attached to the master's bedroom isn't cleaned up yet, but we'll use it in case of emergency. What year was your favourite band formed? (Before people think I'm smart, no, I looked the dates up, haha.) Well Ozzy was Black Sabbath's vocalist, and the band formed in 1968, but Ozzy became a solo artist in 1979. What's your favourite fruit? Strawberries. Have you ever had an out-of-body experience? No. Do you prefer gory horror films or the psychological ones? I prefer psychological. Are you easily paranoid? Yeah. Do you have a favorite obsession? Meerkats and Mark are kinda tied, haha. Are you a workaholic? No. Have you ever given a tattoo before and would you like to? No and no; that would be an awful idea, given I have bad tremors in my hands. Have you ever seen the movie Labyrinth? I actually have not. Would you rather be called pretty or hot? Pretty. Have you ever gotten a serious injury at school? What happened? No. Have you ever performed in front of my large group of people? Yes; I was a dancer for many years. Have you ever fundraised? If so, what for? You know how Facebook recommends making fundraisers for a charity of your choice for your birthday? I've done that for the Trevor Project and two charities for ovarian and pancreatic cancers. Are you wearing earrings right now? Ugh, no, even though I want to be. The first holes in my ears are just too stretched for normal earrings because I wore heavy ones too often, and I just don't have nice earrings. I still want to get very small gauges to put in the stretched holes. Name a singer whose voice makes you swoon? Fall Out Boy's Patrick Stump can do that, holy shit. "America's Suitehearts" does it for me, man. Y'know, when his voice goes all deep. Do your pets follow you when you walk around the house? My cat Roman is quite literally my shadow. Where I go, he goes. What do you do online? I seem to only exist online, really, so I've got a lot on my plate to choose from, yet I'm still bored half the time, haha. I'm essentially always watching or listening to YouTube, I play World of Warcraft for varying amounts of time depending on the day, I scroll through deviantART, check KM periodically, do surveys obviously, "work" at the wikis I contribute to, wander around on Facebook... idk, that's all I really do at least semi-regularly online. Haha oh, wait, I also check Craigslist like... every day for tarantula and hognoses even though I can't currently get either. Let me dream. Do you have any scars on your face? I have a couple on my chin from when I fainted and busted it open. What countries were your grandparents born in? In the US. What was the most damaging relationship (romantic or not) that you’ve ever been a part of? Ultimately, with Jason, because of how it ended. The relationship itself wasn't at all damaging to me, but the breakup shook my entire fucking world. When in your life was your self-esteem at its lowest point? Self-esteem? Now. I'm very unhappy with my weight going back up, my body is just in poor health in general, I'm not employed, not in school... I just feel like a lowlife. Who was the last person you cut out of your life? Do you regret it? I want to say my sister's mother-in-law. Sure don't, considering she revealed her disgusting support for conversion therapy. I'm civil around her in person, but I kicked that woman off my Facebook so fucking quick when I saw that shit. Who is the most attractive person you know personally? That I know personally... I would say Alon, but I haven't seen even a picture of her in forever. Summer, though, shares selfies frequently, and by god is she gorgeous. I know a lot a lot of beautiful women, asldkjf;awe. It's funny that I'm blanking on men, at least involving people I still "know"/are somehow present in my life. Would you rather look older or younger than you are? I'm fine looking my age. Have you ever dated someone who was very vastly different from your “type”? No. What is the biggest project you’re currently working on? I suppose you can count an RP plot as a "project." I'm procrastinating so bad on it because it is going to be A LOT of writing. Is there a person from your past that you wonder about frequently? Who? Take a shot in the dark for me. Who knows you best, excluding romantic partners? My mother. What are your thoughts on human creation? I believe we evolved. How many people have you had sex with? One. Have you ever had a yard sale? Yeah. Have you ever been surfing? No.

[menotsane]

A cheesy yet heartwarming story about 2 lost childhood friends.

Boys love content. Title: Stuck With You

Chapter 1: The First Encounter

Lee Ji Ahn sitting on his chair crafting something from wood suddenly hears a voice outside from his room: "young master, it's time for your school, breakfast is ready and ma'am is waiting for you outside in the car". After glancing a bit on CCTV camera the old lady with white hairs wearing a brown apron walks away with a disappointment face. She is the housekeeper. Lee Ji Ahn stands and walks towards window where he sees the car. He removes his white apron and carry his school bag and walks downstairs, picks a piece of bread and exits the house to enter the car.

Meanwhile in the car:

Ji Ahn's mom talking on the phone: yes I know it's too early to send him to school but as his psychiatrist said it's necessary for him to encounter people so that he can overcome his social anxiety disorder.

Other voice on the phone(Ji Ahn's dad): okay then. I will not argue. I'll return to korea next week. Take care of Jake(nickname of Lee Ji Ahn).

[I'll be using "Jake" instead of Lee Ji Ahn].

Jake enters the car.

"Jake can't you remove your cap, it's not good to wear in school premises" Jake's mom said with low voice.

Jake ignores, sets his cap by pressing the outer area of cap and looks outside with disagreement.

Jake's mom sighs and drives the car to school.

[Meanwhile in H community]

Alarm rings and a hand raises to shut it.

"Ahh, let me sleep more"

Suddenly realizes and wakes up with wide eyes looking at the time in the clock: "oh sh*t I'm late"

Runs to bath and dress up.

"Grandma is breakfast ready? I'm getting late" Kim Ji-hoon cries loud.

"Ohho sleepy head. I'm not like you. The breakfast is already on time. Get down and have it" old lady in her 60's says in a giggling voice.

"Hahah, when will you stop teasing him" grandma's husband said.

After having breakfast, kim Ji-hoon runs towards the veranda when her grandma said "kai don't run you will fall"

(Kai is Kim Ji-hoon's nickname so I'll be using kai as these short names are easy to remember)

Kai runs while crying in his mind: I hope I'm not too late.

Suddenly he stops and steps back when he sees 3 other classmates and one teacher standing at school gate.

Kai gestures a boy at gate that keep talking to teacher and I'll hop the wall.

"Do well at school and try to converse to students okay" Jake's mom said while looking at Jake.

Jake nods and walks toward the school gate.

When kai runs to towards the near by cafe he collides with Jake and falls on his hip while Jake falls on his left arm.

"Ouch my hips" kai said in painful manner and looks towards Jake who was rubbing his arm without any expression on his face.

For a meanwhile kai's eyes sticks on Jake. His skin is white with dark eyes, bowl haircut with black shade wearing a white cap. Jake stands looks at kai and walks away. Kai comes to his senses and realizes to say sorry but then jake was gone and suddenly notices the time in his wrist watch and runs to cafe.

Kai says in hurry: "hyung(big brother in korean) keep my bag with you and I'll take it after school. I love you. You are soooooo nice"

"You don't need to say these cheesy lines. It's not like I'll not help you. Just don't be late tomorrow or your teacher will kick your ass" the cafe owner said.

Kai reaches to the school wall, climbs with a funny expression which shows as it is very hard to climb but he is our trouble maker boy, nothing can stop him.

Meanwhile the teacher was scolding the late students, behind the students Jake was standing watching Kai walking silently same as when a tiger walks towards its prey. But the teacher catches Jake's glance and turns behind and yells: "Kim Ji-hoon this is the first day of new semester and you are late. You all are seniors this year when will you change your habits?"

Kai freezes in a frightful expression.

"A-Actually sir I-I was going to washroom" kai said.

"Oh really? Then show me where is the bathroom in outer campus? Don't try to fool me understood".

"But sir even this student is late(referring to Jake) and he isn't wearing is school uniform too but you are still not scolding him. Isn't it partiality?" One of the three late students said in a criticism manner.

"Yes yes. This is partiality sir". Kai said with low voice.

"You all shut up. He is a new student. Don't make your own assumptions".

"You three including Ji-hoon will get punishment. Write a apology letter and announce it in assembly on the stage".

"Huh sirrrrr? But why. We can only write some 'sorry' words. Why there is a need of announcing it on stage? Kai asked in a denial way.

"You all are now seniors. You are promoted to 11th standard. And still ask for writing only sorry words. Don't make me laugh. Do as I said. Now go back to your classes. Fast"

"And the new student please follow me to the office".

Jake follows the teacher.

"Big boss kai(students calls kai as big boss because of his troublemaking personality) how do you get all these excuses. Why can't we think of one at this time?" Kai's best friend Sung ho said.

"That is why I'm big boss dude. Just shut it and help me walk to the class. I sprained my ankle".

Kai and other students enters the class.

[Students murmuring  in class.]

"Oh big boss. Finally you arrived". Kai's female best friend Eun byul cried.

"Ahh I'm doomed because of that mute guy. So frustrating". Big boss said while sitting on his bench.

After awhile their homeroom teacher enters the class.

"Good morning teacher"

"Good morning class. Take your seats. Today we have a new student. Come inside".

Jake enters the class holding the school uniform and stands on the teacher's stage.

[Meanwhile kai sighs looking at Jake, "Ahh did I do something wrong in my past life".]

"Okay. Introduce yourself to the class"

Jake picks the chock and writes his name on the blackboard "리지안" - lee ji ahn (sorry if there's mistake in that word actually I'm learning korean and I didn't use any translator). Places the chock back to its place and stands straight without saying any word. The teacher and other students looks at Jake with waiting to listen but he didn't say a word. The teacher tells him to take his seat.

He sits in the last right corner of the row near the window and diagonal to kai. Kai looks back and sighs again and makes a goofy face.

Jake after looking at kai brings back his eyes and presses his cap to set it up and rubs the "spherical shaped" solid wooden carved object in his hand(sorry I didn't mention it in the starting of the story when he picks his bag after removing his apron) and looks outside of the window.

The teacher orders students to assemble in ground for the assembly where kai and other 3 students has to speak the apology letter.

"My name is Kim Ji-hoon from class 11 of section B. I regret my bad habits and I want to apologize to teachers and principal mam. I'll not be late next time and will follow tight schedule. But I want to complain about our teacher's partiality. He didn't scold Lee Ji Ahn who was also late and even didn't wear school uniform. This is totally wrong. I want to strike against this. Please consider my words".

[Jake was sitting in class looking at Kai]

After listening this, whole assembly started hooting and clapping and the teachers looked at kai in anger and the homeroom teacher runs and grabs the mic and started giving lectures and sends back students to their class.

[In the class]

"I think I should apologize to Ji Ahn for the morning when we collided" kai thought while looking at Jake.

Meanwhile Sung ho stood and walks towards Jake.

"Hey bro I'm Sung ho" Sung ho greeted while raising his hands to shake.

   *silence* Jake didn't speak and started rubbing the round wooden object in his hand.

"Huh?" Sung ho, Eun byul and big boss said.

"I-I'm sorry" suddenly Jake stands, looks down and walks outside the class.

"What's wrong with him?" Sung ho said while scratching his head.

"Maybe he got afraid because of your monster like voice" Eun byul said in a giggling voice.

Big boss runs after Jake.

Jake was washing his face and kai said: "well I don't apologize so easily but I was at fault in morning. So....I'm sorry for my mistake".

"It's okay" Jake said with expressionless face while putting his cap back on his head.

"Huh?. What is this? I just ran after you to apologize and you didn't even look at me. What does this mean?...never mind"

Kai heads back to the class and Jake stands still while looking at kai's back.

[alienoresimagines]

Guiding him in the dark | Bill "Hoosier" Smith x Gender Neutral Reader

As requested by @inglourious-imagines : Hey! So maybe you could write something for me? :) please some hoosier - he's jealous cause the reader is really really close with leckie - and he eventually gets angry and spills it out. Haha thank you

A/N : For Hoosier? Anything for my boy!! I have that feeling that I've walked away from your request but I hope you'll like it!😅 Also I just finish writing this and I want to sleep it's late so the end (most) probably sucks, there is for sure ton of grammar mistakes... as usual...😂 And I was too eager to post it to go on my laptop to put a read more so...Hope you'll like it as much as I liked writing it!💙

Taglist : @wexhappyxfew @inglourious-imagines @inallmylives

Posted : 12/02/2020

Masterlist Taglist Prompts

~

Hoosier gritted his teeth. He felt like throwing up. Yet your giggles wouldn't stop. Don't get it wrong, he loved hearing your laughs, it made his heart race and almost burst out of his chest. But for now it just hurts. Because he wasn't the one making you bend in two from laughing too hard. Oh, he wished so hard it was him. But it wasn't and it was making his stomach twists. Hoosier knew that he could only blame himself. After all, he was the one who distanced himself from you. As soon as he understood his growing feelings towards you, when he realized that the usual teasing turned into something else, he walked away. It was easier that way. You were in a war for God's sake. There was no place for such thing as love. What he didn't take in consideration was your friendship with Leckie. It didn't really bother him then but now... He clenched his fists, clearly knowing that every Marines in the company were avoiding him and his death glare. He groaned when someone pocked his shoulder. It was Chuckler. Goddamn Chuckler.

"What?" He was completely venting his anger towards himself against his other friend. If Lew noticed the animosity coming from the smaller man, he didn't act like it.

"Just thought you might want a sip of water." Hoosier grunted but took the gourd.

"How's (Y/N)?" Bill almost spilled his water out but achieved to keep it in his dry mouth. God, he wasn't in the mood for that shit.

"Why are you askin' me?" He snapped. He almost felt bad about it. Almost. But he could see Leckie and you sitting together, shoulders touching, from the corner of his eyes and he couldn't take it. Just at the moment, Chuckler spoke.

"Well you're always together and you're (Y/N)'s best friend."

He gritted his teeth, pretty sure he heard them squeak. That's true. Before he distanced himself from you, you two were the best of friends. Always stuck to the other's hip.

"And (Y/N)'s looking sad nowadays." Oh, Hoosier knew goddamn well how you looked. And it was his fault, he was sure of it. His heart tightens painfully every time he tells you he'll talk to you later but never do, faking sleep. God, he hated himself. He never meant to hurt, that was the last thing he wanted to do.

"But you're right, I should probably ask Leckie. They seem to be great friends. Maybe Leckie should ask (Y/N) on a date when we'll finally go of this island." Hoosier stopped. He was sure his heart did the same. There was no way Chuckler said that. But he just did. The shock was clear on Hoosier face, in a painful way. Lew looked at his friend, smile fading.

"Hey, Hoosier, you okay?" He attempted to put a hand on Bill's shoulder only for his hand to be pushed away.

"Hoosier?" He had enough. He wanted it to stop, he wanted to fix it, he wanted to make you laugh, he wanted to be the reason behind your smile. Why does this have to be so hard?

~

"Is everything alright with Hoos?" Leckie looked at Hoosier who was speaking to Chuckler. Well it was more like Chuckler speaking to a tense wall. Even from far, Leckie could see the tense in Hoosier's body and the glances he casted in your direction. He then looked back to your worried face and shrugged.

"It's Hoosier. Probably didn't have enough sleep. Don't worry too much sweetheart."

"He's been avoiding me." This was more of a statement than a question. Leckie was about to open his mouth to contradict you only to realize he had nothing to say.

"Have I done something wrong?" Your voice was small, full of sadness. Leckie felt anger spreads in his veins.

"Every time I want to speak to him, he says he has something to do and that he'll talk to me later but he never does. I miss him." You softly put your head on Leckie's shoulder, feeling a little depressed. You closed your eyes, fighting tears of frustration. The way you were missing Hoosier was beyond words. Not only was he your best friend, but you also had the biggest crush on him. You thought you hid it well but apparently you were fooling yourself. After all, there was no reason for Hoosier to avoid you unless he learned for your feelings towards him and did not want to break your heart by telling you that those feelings were not reciprocal, right? You sighed, feeling a wave of sadness hitting you. On his side, Leckie could only watch as you wailed. He hoped Chuckler could do as planned with Hoosier. They all had enough of this situation.

"Will you shut the fuck up?!" Each heads turned towards the noise. Hoosier was standing, fists and jaw clenched, looking as if he was about to punch Chuckler straight in the face. By the expression on his face, that was still possible. (Y/N) frowned in concern, standing up too. You quickly walked towards your two friends, putting a hand on Hoosier's forearm.

"Hoosier, Chuckler, what's wrong?" The blonde man was panting and the taller one just stood there, clearly not expecting this. The other Marines looked somewhere else. It was something private.

"Nothin'." Hoosier turned away, almost running away. You lost sight of him when he entered the forest. Luckily, Japanese hadn't been seen in weeks almost months. You felt a sting of hurt piercing your heart but you forced yourself to turn towards Chuckler.

"What happened ?" The man you saw as an older brother shrugged, a glimpse of worry in his eyes too.

"What did you tell him?"

"I just talked to him! I swear (Y/N) I didn't try to upset him." You raised an eyebrow, crossing your arms on your chest. Chuckler gulped, feeling slightly uncomfortable but much more guilty.

"Lew Juergens, you're telling me that when you were talking about the weather with Hoosier, he suddenly had that lust to punch you and decided to scream at you? We both know this is not how Bill works." Chuckler was feeling small under your glare even though you weren't even reaching his shoulders. He highly doubted you could be any more scary. He looked at Leckie for help who was visibly trying very hard not to smile. That fucker, it was his plan! Said man finally choose to help his friend, getting up.

"Hey, sweetheart why don't you chase Hoosier before he finds a way to fall asleep in the woods?" You looked the two men closely, eyes narrowed before you sighed deeply and followed Bill's steps.

~

"Hoos? You here?" You called out. Anxiety was stepping on worry. What would you tell him? Will he even talk to you?

"(Y/N)? What are you doin' here?" Hoosier called out from behind you. You jumped slightly, turning around. You opened your mouth to speak when you noticed something. The way he said your name. He spoke in such a tender way, his low voice held so much love, softness that it makes your heart aches. He only talked to you that way.

"(Y/N)?" You smiled.

"Was searching for you." For a few moments there was the shadow of a sheepish smile on his dirty yet handsome face.

"What happened?"

"Nothin'." He shrugged as if it was nothing. You bit your lower lip.

"Why? W-what did I do wrong? Why is that you don't talk to me anymore? Why is that every time I-I wanna talk to you, you suddenly need to be somewhere else? Why do you want to avoid me so b-bad that you fake sleep? Please... t-tell me why..." Hoosier quickly made his way towards you before gently but firmly resting his hands on your shoulders. Why do you hate me? You didn't say it but Bill heard it anyway. Each sentences, each words, each tremor he felt under his calloused hands were punches thrown into his guts. He would have preferred you to shout, slap him, hell beat the shit out of him. He deserved it. But your voice was small, shaking, barely above a whisper. He would have preferred everything if not that. The view that stretched before his eyes was heartbreaking. You were on the verge of tears, your lips trembling, your eyes red and full of pent-up tears. You were looking weak, vulnerable. Oh, how much did Bill want to protect you at that moment. Hoosier was seeing red and had troubles breathing normally. He briefly closed his eyes, in order to calm himself. You asshole. Of course you made them feel that way. You heartless selfish son of a bitch. Hoosier wanted so bad to tell you how he felt, the reasons behind his silence. He wanted to tell you these three little words he could never say in his whole life. But still today, the words were stuck in his throat. And even if he did tell them, no excuses could ever make up with the shit he had done. Not to his eyes. He opened his eyes, noticing right away the way your eyes were lingering on his face. Your lips were partially opened, the red stream of your tears on your pale skin.

"Fuck it." He muttered under his breath seconds before crushing his lips onto yours. For a few milliseconds, you stood there, not understanding what was going on. And then it hit you. Bill "Hoosier" Smith was kissing you. Your lips were wet and salty from your tears but none of you cared. The only thing you knew was that it was feeling right. Hoosier's right hand moved to cup your cheek as his other arm found his way to your waist, pulling you closer. You passed your arms around his neck, an overwhelming feeling of joy flowing into your whole body as you could feel Hoosier's thumb erased your remaining tears' tracks. But the human being isn't made for staying in happiness forever and so you had to break the kiss in order to catch your breath. You looked into those blue eyes you swore could drown you before letting a little laugh escape your puffy lips. Bill frowned but you could see his eyes sparking and a smile making it's way onto his pretty face.

"You're such an idiot." You shook you head, smiling from ear to ear.

"(Y/N) I'm sorry, I really am I-I never meant to-" You gave him a quick peck on the check, raising on your tiptoes.

"It's fine, Bill. Better now than never. But you should probably apologize to Chuckler. I genuinely think he thought you were going to bite him." You laughed again as Hoosier scowled.

"I'm gonna kill'em..." You couldn't help yourself but giggle at his face.

"You're cute when you're angry." You muttered into his ear. He blushed furiously, suddenly not looking at you in the eyes anymore. You took his hand in yours before starting to walk toward the camp. However, Bill held you back. You looked at him, face tilted to the side.

"Yeah?"

"I-I-" Hoosier seemed really upset with himself so you marched towards him, cupping his cheeks with your hands. You pecked his nose slightly. The corners of his mouth rose.

"It's okay, Bill. Take all the time you need. I'm ain't going anywhere without you." Hoosier felt his throat tightened and his heart started to race. Maybe he could let Chuckler and Leckie alive for a few days more. If you held his hands like that all the way, guiding him in the dark, he might even really consider trying to get back alive from this hell.

[collapsingintojupiter]

How I Met Them

So I saw a post by the lovely @sanderssides-incorrectquotes talking about socially anxious Patton, and I got a few fun ideas. I’ve decided to combine this with the Chaotic Logan idea proposed by @watchoutforthefanfics, partially because I’ve been wanting to do something like that for a while and hey...why not now?

Anyways.

Characters: Patton, Logan, Roman, Remus, and Virgil. 

I wrote each character with some slightly different characteristics in mind; for example Patton is anxious, Logan is impulsive and reckless, Roman is insecure, Remus is very scatterbrained and has ADHD, and Virgil struggles with anger issues. 

I may write more for this idea if I get enough interest, but we’ll see.

TW: Cussing, some anxiety, there’s a somewhat heated argument, and also sympathetic Remus. Let me know if you’d like me to add anything else.

Patton nibbled at an apple, seated comfortably on a park bench while he watched the geese out on the pond. He’d always enjoyed afternoons like this, when school was out and he didn’t have to be home yet. Patton liked watching the geese. He liked seeing them swim around without a care in the world, he liked the little sparrows that flitted in the tree branches overhead, he liked hearing the birds sing and seeing the water ripple and not having to hear screaming students that made his ears ring. 

A goose honked and Patton smiled at it. 

“Hi,” he called to it. The goose looked at him, then turned and went back to its business. Patton watched for a little while longer before he stood up and yawned, adjusting the light pink scarf around his neck. It went nicely with his pale blue sweater, which had a kitten face on it, and lavender-colored pants that reminded him of his favorite flowers. Matching that were white shoes with cotton-candy dyed laces and pastel rainbow-striped socks--what could he say? Patton liked pretty colors, and he loved wearing them whenever he could. He liked his colorful glasses and his bright tie-dye backpack; liked putting flowers in his hair during the warmer months and wearing colorful bracelets all year-round. Colors were fun, and beautiful, and there for you even when you were tired and anxious and unable to think straight (heh).

Patton started along the little pathway by the lake, carefully adjusting the light blue beanie that sat on top of his curly brown hair. He ran his fingers along its soft surface and smiled a little to himself, letting out a quiet sigh. 

Then a scream interrupted him. 

Actually, it was a lot of screaming. 

Then something sprinted past Patton in a whirl, launching itself into the pond without a second’s hesitation. The geese honked and scattered in a flurry of wings; Patton jumped aside with a panicked yelp and tripped, falling headfirst into the pond’s shallows. Cold water splashed over his face and his hands squelched into deep mud--he panicked when he realized he couldn’t breathe, before something grabbed his arm and wrenched him upwards. 

“Logan you fucking idiot!” someone was shouting. “You knocked him over!”

“I didn’t do anything!” called back another indignant voice, accompanied by the sound of splashing. “It’s not my fault he fell!”

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry!” The one who had been holding Patton’s arm suddenly let go and he stumbled back, barely managing to regain his footing before he fell again. He fumbled for his glasses and realized they were no longer on his face. 

“Dammit, guys it’s Patton! Logan, are his glasses there? He needs his glasses.”

Roman…? Patton wasn’t sure if he recognized the voice or not, but it sounded a bit like him. 

“Are these it?”

“I don’t know.” 

“Well give them to him, you idiot!” A blurry figure pressed something into Patton’s shaking hands and he held the item up to his face, blinking and looking at his new surroundings through familiar drop-streaked lenses. 

“Th-these are...mine,” he managed to say with some difficulty, his heart thumping nervously as he looked over the characters surrounding him and shivered. 

“I’m sorry you fell; Logan’s an idiot and it’s not my fault,” chirped a punk-looking boy that looked a lot like Roman, but with hair that was twice as messy and a wild look in his eye.

“You dared me! You wanted to know how cold the water was!” Another punk, this one in blue and black, slapped the first with a wet hand. “And it’s fucking freezing, by the way.” Patton stared at the two with wide eyes, unable to form words from his mouth which had suddenly gone dry with anxiety.

“Guys, shut up.” Another boy, this one in purple, shoved his way past the first two and shoved a jacket into Patton’s hands. “Here, you can have mine. Patton, right?”

Patton managed a tiny, shy nod.

“How far away is your house?”

“Uh…It’s...it’s that way...” Patton pointed down the street with a shaky hand. “Uh...t-ten minutes?” His voice squeaked, and his cheeks turned red. 

“Our place is closer.” Roman, who was wearing a red and white varsity jacket, nodded to the other one that looked like him. “It’s just down the street, you’re gonna freeze to death if you go home in that. Come with us.”

Patton wanted to protest, but all he managed was another squeak that Roman took to be an agreement as the group started walking. His knees shook but he started running after them, trying to ignore how his heart was trying to jackhammer itself out of his chest. 

A hand suddenly appeared in front of him. Patton jumped and looked up, seeing the purple punk. 

“I’m Virgil,” he said. He pointed at the one who looked like Roman but wasn’t Roman. “That’s Remus, the wet one’s Logan, and he’s Roman. You’re in my English class, aren’t you?” Patton looked at him and nodded. 

“Yeah…” 

“Do you not want the jacket?” Patton suddenly realized it was still in his arms, shaking his head before grabbing it and wrapping it around his shoulders. 

“Th-thanks,” he said. 

“Don’t mention it.” Patton looked over the group as they continued walking, trying to match each name to each face. Logan was the tall pale one with unruly brown hair dyed blue--he looked like a vampire, to be honest. He had a hearing aid in his left ear. Remus and Roman were both shorter with a Latino build and darker skin, though Remus had dyed a streak of silver into his wild hair while Roman kept his impeccably groomed. Virgil was also tall, and his skin was as dark as Logan’s was pale. His hair was done in long dreads, which were at the moment pulled back into a ponytail. 

And then there was him. Patton. Short and skinny, with curly brown hair and tan skin and dark eyes, and a character about as frightening as a cupcake. 

 Virgil stayed by his side and let the others go ahead, keeping quiet company with Patton as the group followed Roman to where his house apparently was--he hadn’t realized that they lived so close, though that shouldn’t have been surprising. 

“Alright, parents aren’t home. We’re good,” Remus announced loudly as he swung the door open. Roman smiled at Patton as he entered, then followed him inside. 

“Here, come with me,” he said. “I have some clothes you can change into.”

“But...I...I can’t just take your stuff!” Patton protested, stopping as Roman disappeared into what was probably his room. 

“You can give them back tomorrow,” was the answer. Roman reappeared a few minutes later, passing a bundle to Patton. “Sorry it’s not more your style. Bathroom’s that way.” He pointed down the hall, and before Patton knew what he was doing he was following the other boy’s directions. He went down the hall that wasn’t his, past rooms that weren’t his, and into the bathroom that wasn’t his. He closed the door, his heart pounding, and stared at his muddy, shivering reflection in the mirror. The front of his favorite sweatshirt was splattered with mud, as well as everything else. He’d be lucky if it washed out…

The clothes Roman had given him consisted of a maroon sweatshirt that was too big for Patton, sweatpants, a gray and black-striped scarf, and...a beanie? Patton washed his face and toweled off his hair, sliding the yellow hat onto his head and feeling just a bit better as the fabric settled down on his curls. 

When he opened the door, Roman was leaning against the wall on the other side of the hall. He waved a little, then offered up a plastic bag for Patton to put his wet clothes in. 

“If it’s alright...I also had Virgil make you some hot chocolate? I really am sorry for what happened out there…”

“It’s alright,” Patton said quietly. “Thanks.”

“It’s the least I can do. You look cute as hell in that sweater, by the way.”

“Huh?” Patton felt his cheeks blush and he looked down at himself--the colors were all wrong and they didn’t fit right at all as far as he was concerned, but more than that…

Was Roman flirting with him?

“Yeah! You look nice in red.” Roman smiled at him again as they came into the living room, where the other boy flopped onto the couch next to Remus and Logan--Logan, who’d already been banished to the floor as he was still wet and didn’t seem to have any intention of changing. 

“Hey,” Remus said. Patton blinked at him.

“Uh, hey.”

“We go to the same school don’t we?” 

“Remus, you’re in classes with him!” Logan turned around and smacked the other boy, who made a face of surprise. 

“Really? Must’ve forgotten…” Patton wasn’t so sure that was a bad thing. 

“Here.” Patton turned as Virgil entered the living room, passing a mug to him. “Hot chocolate?”

“Um, thanks.” Patton tentatively accepted the offering, looking around the room before he sat down on the edge of an empty sofa. “So, um...what were you guys doing out there?” he asked. “I’ve never seen you guys at the park before, and I go there every day.” Roman chuckled at that, Virgil rolled his eyes, and Logan and Remus exchanged amused looks. 

“Well,” Remus started. “You see, we were originally going to try and tie two ducks together…”

“...But we couldn’t find anything to catch them with, and we’d already tried rushin’ ‘em, so we got bored. And then Remus wondered how cold the water was.” Logan shrugged. “It’s cold, by the way, in case you were wondering.” Patton smiled the tiniest bit at that. 

“Y-Yeah, I noticed.” Remus barked a laugh that made him jump, and Logan smacked him again. 

Patton ended up hanging out with the odd group for a little while, drinking hot chocolate and listening while the others laughed and joked and talked about odd things. Once he’d finished Roman practically jumped out of his seat to take the cup for him, and though Patton felt bad about letting the other boy take it for him he didn’t say anything. Roman ran it to the kitchen, and when he came back the others were all standing up. Patton blinked at them in confusion, but took Virgil’s hand when he offered it. 

“Mind if we escort you back to your place?” he asked. 

“You, you don’t have to if you don’t--”

“That wasn’t the question,” the purple punk answered, and smiled. “Would you like us to accompany you, Patton? We’d be honored to walk you home.”

He had to admit, it was a nice offer. One he’d never gotten before from anybody; people didn’t really just ask to hang out with him. And Patton couldn’t quite believe it, but these odd characters had already managed to grow on him. They were nothing like the people Patton had met before in school, and their strangeness somehow only made him like them more. He glanced awkwardly around the group, then nodded. 

“Uh, yeah, sure.” He automatically reached up to touch his beanie, then grinned a little and nodded to Roman as he held the door open for him. The group followed him outside, Logan shivering but stubbornly refusing to accept the coat Roman offered him. 

“Wonder how long it takes to get hypothermia while wet in this weather,” Remus said aloud. Logan paused, then his eyes got wide and he grinned maniacally. 

“Why don’t we find--”

“Absolutely you will not,” Virgil cut in, throwing a glare at the green punk. “Christ, I am not calling the hospital again this month.” Logan made a face at him, and he and Remus exchanged annoyed looks before shrugging and continuing on their way. Virgil let out a long sigh, then glanced at Patton. 

“In case you're wondering, yes I have had to call the hospital already this month,” he said. “And no, you can’t ask about it.” Patton blinked at him.

“Okay,” he said. 

“You know, he’s alright,” Remus said, pointing at Patton. “I like him.”

“It’s your fault he ended up in that pond,” Roman glared at his twin, who glared back. 

“That was Logan’s fault, don’t blame me for what he did!”

“Oh, because he’s definitely got his impulse control under control!”

“Hey!” Logan shouted. “You both--”

“--Guys, guys it’s okay!” Patton automatically stepped between the three, his heart pounding as he held his hands up. “Please...please don’t fight.” The punks and fashionable boy looked between each other, then suddenly seemed to calm down, nodding to each other. 

“Sorry,” Remus offered. “Didn’t want to upset you.”

“I apologize as well,” Logan added, and Roman nodded.

“It’s alright,” Patton said, then added, “thanks for listening.”

“Course.” 

The group fell silent as they continued; even Logan and Remus managed to behave until they were on the steps to Patton’s house. He looked back at them and smiled, taking his bag of wet clothes back from Roman as he went to the door. 

“Thanks for...for the fun time,” he said, and then the door was closed and they were gone. 

[edelwoodsouls]

grace requires nothing of me (spent my whole life searching desperately)  - ch. 1

He never wanted to hurt anyone. He never wanted to be dangerous. But he can be. [When Alice goes missing, Caleb lets his darkness free]

(shoutout to @exhaustedwerewolf for once again listening to my midnight screams - please direct all crying and angst towards him :P)

Word Count: 1,701 | Also on Ao3 | Other Chapters: n/a (yet)

They come for Caleb at night.

One moment, a dream: the dapple of sunlight through trees. An endless stretch of green-tinged sky, green fields, green light. The warmth of summer and laughter and fingers threaded through his own.

The next, a dark shadow. Clouds, heavy and bruised, choking the sun. They appear from nowhere, an invasion of his hazy verdant world.

He wakes up the moment they try to gag him.

The world is dark, lit only by the pool of moonlight filtering through the curtains at the foot of his bed. But he doesn’t need his eyes to sense them - the deadly, detached calm held solid in their bodies like cement. Not fluid and shifting as emotions usually are, but fixed, unnaturally still.

He yells out, struggles against them, his panic spilling out into the room in amber waves. It floods away the moonlight, the shadows, the steely hands against his limbs.

And the pressure is gone. Like a cloud passing briefly across the moon, the reaching fingers vanish. He senses only his own amber tidal wave, swirling around the space like a hurricane, pouring out into the hall.

He doesn't bother to check, to wait - he is drowning, needs air, needs space, needs green.

He jumps out of the window and flees into the night.

~#~#~

Adam can't sleep.

This isn't a new occurence, or even a rare one, but tonight the air is heavy on his chest, warm and thick against his skin. Rain has begun to drizzle gently against the window, choking the world in mist.

Summer drowns him, only feeling all the worse for his blue spells.

The only good thing about summer break is being in the same city as Caleb - just a few minutes walk between them rather than hours.

On nights like these, they still feel worlds apart. Hamlet swims before his eyes, his body begging for sleep that won't come.

It's nearing two am when he hears the insistent tap on his window. Like a bird pecking its beak against the glass - loud, more frantic than Caleb's usual, dorky secret knock.

Something's wrong.

He throws his book aside, sliding the window up in a single, adrenaline-fuelled motion.

Caleb tumbles into the room, sprawling onto the carpet. He's still dressed in what he usually sleeps in - shorts and nothing else - his hair flattened by the rain.

There's a vivid bruise beginning to form around his wrists.

"Caleb?" Adam crouches down to his boyfriend's level, careful not to touch him. He's shivering - but not from cold, Adam thinks - eyes darting around the room like a wild animal. "Caleb," he tries again, softly, "what happened?"

"I- uh- I-" Caleb's voice is no more than gasps. His eyes finally zero in on Adam, and he tries to level out his own panic. Be the island of calm in Caleb's storm.

"It's okay. You're safe. You're with me."

Slowly, so slowly, Caleb's breaths begin to level out. He takes deep gulps of air, as if he's been suffocating underground for years.

Adam grabs his Yale hoodie from the back of his chair; Caleb accepts it with a wordless nod, his jaw working in an attempt to find voice.

"I, uh- someone just tried to kidnap me."

"What." Adam's emotions spike immediately but he doesn't have the energy to try to be calm. "Caleb, what the fuck?"

"I don't know." Caleb shakes his head, pulling the hoodie over himself distractedly. "One minute I was sleeping and the next- fuck, the next they were trying to gag me."

"Fuck." His thoughts are beginning to swirl with panic, worst case scenarios, fear. His parents behind masks. His boyfriend splayed out on an operating table. Blood on a sterile floor. "Okay. Wait. Who's they?"

"I don't know," Caleb shrugs again, starts pacing back and forth with an energy that seems to leech into the room, rile Adam's anxiety up until it sits in a weight on his chest. If Caleb notices, he doesn't say, too distracted by his own panic.

The rain breaks out into a full-on thunderstorm. It feels pretty fitting.

"Do you think it was the AM?"

"I don't know. I didn't even see their faces. I just felt them."

"Wait, then how did you get away?"

"I-" Caleb stops short. His fists flex in and out in spasms, the way they do when he's trying not to say something, trying to figure out what to say. "I don't know."

It's a lie. The realisation hits Adam like a slap in the face. He and Caleb don't lie to each other, not after everything they've gone through. Not after missing information and secrets have caused them so much grief already.

"You're lying to me," he says quietly, not bothering to keep the hurt out of his voice. Caleb can feel it all anyway.

Caleb is looking anywhere but him. Staring out of the window at the moon, partially obscured by rain clouds.

"Caleb, what did you do?"

"I don't know!" The shout is too big for this small room, echoes between them like the snap of piano wires. He's never been more glad for his parents to be at a conference on comparative biological methods. "One moment I was being held down by, like, five guys, and the next they were all gone!"

"They can't have just vanished, Caleb."

"I mean, it felt like they did. I don't know. I just, I was so scared, and I could barely contain everything, and then suddenly they were gone. Their calm. I couldn't find it anymore."

Something uncomfortable shifts inside Adam. "Because they weren't there anymore, or because they weren't calm anymore?"

Caleb stares at him, eyes wide and filled with horror. But it's not the horror of an awful suggestion, a how dare you insinuate what I think you are.

It's the horror of being known.

Adam swallows, throat dry. "Tell me you just managed to hit one of them or something, and they got scared. You're really strong, right? You must've just pushed them away and they decided to regroup for help."

Slowly, Caleb shakes his head. "It... it started about a month ago."

"What started a month ago?" He knows, he already knows, and can't begin to figure out how he feels about it.

"I can... push emotions onto other people. Like, if they're feeling angry, I can make them calm."

"If they're feeling sad you can make them happy?"

Caleb's eyes go wide. "I never- I swear, I would never do it to you! I've got this under control."

"Do you?"

"Yes!"

"Okay then."

"You- wait, what?"

Adam folds himself into sitting back on the bed, looking up at Caleb. "I trust you, Caleb. Did you really think I would- what, hate you for this? Something that isn't your fault? If you didn't have this power, it sounds like you'd be zip-tied in a van somewhere right now."

He stands slowly, like approaching a scared animal. Caleb is still staring at him, startled. He wraps his arms around him, holding him close, as if he can still the tremors and fend off the world with nothing but his body.

"I'm just sad you felt you couldn't tell me," Adam says softly, voice muffled by Caleb's shoulder.

After a moment of hesitation, Caleb returns the hug, the fear uncertainty melting out of his body. They mold together, one entity, in perfect harmony. Steady breathing, steady heartbeats.

"I was so scared," Caleb's voice cracks with unshed tears. "I never wanted to hurt anyone. Or manipulate anyone. And if I can make people feel things, how am I any different from Damien?"

"You're nothing like Damien," Adam says fiercely, pulling away just enough so he can look into Caleb's bright green eyes. Puts a hand up to his face, letting Caleb lean into it. "You're Caleb Michaels. You're the love of my life. You're kind and empathic and you care. You're nothing like him."

Caleb lets out something between a laugh and a sigh of relief. "Thanks."

"I am far more concerned by the people who just tried to kidnap you from your own home. How did they even get in?"

"I dunno. I might have forgotten to lock the back door before I went to bed, I guess? Me and Alice were playing quidditch..." Caleb's voice trails into silence.

"Alice."

Adam doesn't need empathy to feel the fear spilling back into the room. "Call her. Now."

She doesn't pick up. The phone continues to ring on every try, and eventually goes straight to voicemail.

Dead.

Sickness churns in Adam's stomach.

"This is my fault," Caleb whispers, hands running nervously so fast through his curls he's a breath away from tearing it out in chunks. "They couldn't get to me so they went for her."

"We don't- we don't know that," Adam tries to be the voice of reason, though the waver in his words betrays him. "Maybe she's just asleep? She's a teenager, you know they can sleep through anything."

Caleb continues to pace. The room feels thick and warm, panic seeping into the air, into Adam. It fills him up like rain filling a well, a steady rise that creeps up on him, invades his insides.

This panic that is not his, but has the familiar, soft edges of yellow he knows belong to Caleb.

"Caleb," he starts, panic that is only partly his own hitching the last syllable. "Caleb, stop."

The panic continues to rise, overflowing. He is adrift, drowning under a green sea that is far more yellow than blue.

"Caleb!"

The invasion vanishes, like a band snapping back from stretching. It feels like the air being stolen from his lungs - he feels empty, hollowed out, barely more than a flickering ember of blue.

"I'm-" Horror etches itself into every inch of Caleb's features. It's a sight that won't leave Adam's memory any time soon. "I'm sorry. I- I need to leave."

"Wait- Caleb!"

But Caleb has always been faster than him, far more impulsive.

In a single motion he vaults through the window and vanishes into the trees at the bottom of the garden.

Thunder cracks across the skyline, a mirror of Adam's world breaking apart.

[undignifiend]

Idiots in a Tiny Kitchen

A scene I wrote forever ago about an ogre character inspired by the World of Darkness setting. Under the cut for the sake of the Dashboard.

+++++

Someone was in his apartment. Brock bit back the urge to growl, and focused on keeping his breath even. Let them think he was still asleep. Whoever it was, they were in the kitchen, opening cabinets and making no effort to keep quiet. Did they even know he was there? Granted, he probably just looked like an abnormally large pile of discarded sheets on the bare mattress in the corner of his tiny 'living room', but shouldn't a burglar be more thorough in scoping out an area before getting to business? Maybe it was an amateur? Carefully twisting out of the sheets, Brock slunk across the carpet, hiding under the kitchen bar. Every footstep and rustle of cloth seemed deafening to him - stealth wasn't his area of expertise, after all. But the intruder didn't seem to notice, obliviously waking the dead as they shuffled through pots, cans, and boxes of pasta. Brock entertained the idea of turning off his Mask. That would be fun. Stupid, but fun. He'd have to kill whoever saw him before rumors could spread, of course. Most humans didn't pay attention to urban legends and lunatics, but hunters did... Hiding the body, or rather the bones, would be a chore. In a pinch, human flesh was a treat, and money was tight enough to pinch pretty hard lately. Waste not, and all that... Serves 'em right for wandering into an ogre's lair. But he rolled his eyes as his more rational side spoke up. He'd already eaten two overconfident hunters since his return from Arcadia. If he ate this burglar, that would make three in three years. Not the best habit to form in a human-dominant territory. Someone would notice a pattern sooner or later. The Courts probably wouldn't care much, but it was something of a faux pas, and the Spring Court might hound him for it. Their whole point was to find ways to adjust to human life and to appreciate the finer things. It was a difficult philosophy to reconcile when one considered human flesh to be one of the finer things... Spring also put a lot of emphasis on aesthetics, and for Brock, that was dangerous. Like most ogres, Brock was a sucker for pretty people. But people were also delicious. He hoped this burglar wasn't attractive. That would be weird. He could just picture the unlucky individual partially tied to a chair while they both awkwardly shared a pot of coffee and sorted out this little mishap. Brock would be up all morning arguing with himself over whether to eat them or try to get their number. Decisions, decisions... Spring had a strong point, though. Most changelings he'd met were human once, including himself. This burglar wasn't doing him any real harm, and Brock was more sentimental than he cared to admit. He decided to let this one off with a warning. That's when he heard the telltale crinkle of a bag of chips, and the crinkling continued as the intruder began to rummage in earnest. They found his stash and most likely understood what it really was. His apartment was otherwise stark and unappealing to any enterprising thief. They knew what they found. Time for a big breakfast. Wisps of Brock's human visage peeled away in dark, airy tendrils and faded into nothing. His clothes, baggy even on his large frame, tightened to conform to his real size as he gained an extra couple feet in height. To anyone who could normally see through his Mask to what he really was, the change in size was all they'd notice. To anyone who couldn't, it was far more dramatic. Tendrils of illusion floated off him, revealing red hide and gold eyes; one in his left socket, and one in the center of his forehead. In his right socket was nothing but a shadow. A pair of horns flanked either side of the third eye, and rows of sharp white fangs peeked from behind his lips. Brock resisted the temptation to sigh and stretch. Taking the Mask off always felt like being freed from shackles, climbing out of a small box, and taking the first breath of fresh air he'd had in ages. He lunged into the kitchen, dominating what little space there was, and seized the intruder from behind, intending to crush the back of their neck in his jaws. But several things occurred to him at once, and he paused as he processed what he was seeing. This person was tiny. Granted, most people were tiny compared to him, but this one couldn't have been over four feet in height. They had been standing on the counter, and now their feet dangled in the air as his huge hands wrapped around their arms and torso. They were completely covered in clothes that were too big for them, save for a sparkling pink Hello Kitty jacket that seemed too tight. Their hood was up, and their sneakers were so comically massive it was a wonder they didn't slip off. Cold horror stabbed Brock in the gut. Was this a kid? Had he almost killed a kid? It was kind of awful, the look of his monstrous, claw-tipped hands juxtaposed with the innocent jacket. Brock never suffered any anxiety or shame over being an ogre, but realizing what he almost did made him queasy. "Close your eyes. Don't move unless I tell you to," Brock warned, his tone authoritative, belying the panic he felt. His Mask took hours to recharge, and now that he turned it off, how was he going to get the kid out of his apartment without being seen for what he really was? Someone might even try to check on him if the kid screamed at the sight of his face. "Ah, shove it," replied a nasally voice. A goblin glared at him from under the little pink hood, his gigantic ears folded within it, and his bushy mustache quivering with nervous outrage. "This is yer own damn fault," he scolded, waving a bag of chips as much as he could with one of his restrained arms. "Hoardin' like this. It's cheatin'." Brock dropped Cornchips the Whiner and staggered back, sagging against the fridge with a mix of irritation and profound relief. "Dammit, Chips! One of these days, I'm gonna eat you! You keep pulling stunts like this, and I can't guarantee it won't be an accident." The goblin dusted himself off and pushed back the hood, his gigantic, pointed ears regaining their natural shape once they had room. "Great. Perfect!" He folded his arms and eyed Brock reproachfully. "On top a' everythin' else, my big, dumbass chump partner tries t' kill me. I should've expected it. Everythin' looks breakable or edible t' yeh ogre types. I coulda kicked yeh awake, but I decided to be thoughtful and let yeh sleep while I cleaned up yer mess! And here's the thanks I get! Now what's the meanin' a' this?" He pointed a little claw up at the cabinet full of chip bags. Brock rolled his eyes. "Kinda hard to get a hold of you in an emergency, Chips. Sometimes that vending machine ritual takes too damn long. So I figure, why not have it prepped? All I gotta do now is this..." Brock snatched the bag of chips out of the goblin's hand, recited the sacred phrase "Shut up and help me, sir," and popped the bag open. Cornchips vanished with a fart, leaving nothing, and in the next instant, furious grumbling could be heard from inside the bag. "Speed-dial summoning," Brock explained smugly, looking into the bag. "Genius, eh?" "Yeh can't do that, yeh butt-wart!" Cornchips jumped out of the bag, defying physics by not ripping it open despite his size, and landing lightly on his huge feet. "That spell's not a damn toy! Every time you delay it, I get this itch! And you got bleedin' near seventeen a' them spells in that cabinet ready to go at any second! Everyone thinks I have fleas now! Yeh can't get a date when yeh got fleas! No one understands how hard my life is!" Brock's claw-tipped hands were too big, so he held the bag up and shook a few chips into his mouth, crunching on them as he listened. "So it didn't work out with that spider-girl, huh?" Cornchips groaned. "Esther's good wit' her hands, up until she slaps yeh. Wit' all of 'em. I never did anythin' to deserve it. She thought I was chattin' up some pixie, but I swear I was jus' askin' for directions." Brock grimaced. "You can't patronize me, either. It's your job to know your way around." "An' it's your job to make my job easier!" Cornchips pointed at the cabinet he couldn't reach. "Now get rid a' them things before I burn the place down, an' listen up! I didn' jus' come here t' set yeh straight. Yeh got a big job ahead. Orders from Naomi herself." The silence that followed weighed on Brock. He was grateful he didn't do something embarrassing like choke, but he still had trouble deciding how to take this news. "Herself? She didn't send no one?" "Did I stucking futter?" Cornchips demanded, fists on his hips. "Yeah! I'm important enough t' talk to!" Brock frowned. "What does she want us to do? Steal the Queen's purse?" "Naw..." How Cornchips managed to look so smug with that mustache, Brock could only guess. "Babysittin', more like." When he didn't elaborate, Brock's chest rumbled in an uncomfortable growl. "Out with it." "Let me savor this. I like watchin' yeh suffer." Brock dropped the bag and grabbed Chips by the front of his pink jacket, pulling him face to murderous face. "Okay, okay!" the goblin flailed. "Naomi rescued another one from Arcadia, alright? She can't trust the Courts wit' this - she's got too many enemies, even there. You gotta play mentor and bodyguard for this kid - jus' fer a while." "What makes her think they'll be safe with me?" Brock asked, gesturing with his free hand to the whole apartment. "You broke in without me noticing." "I'm the only other one who knows about this," Cornchips swore. "An' yer a lowly grunt, Brock. No one'll think t' connect you with someone as important as Naomi's own kid." Brock released Cornchips with nerveless fingers as a new, uncomfortable facet of the Universe fell into place in his mind. Landing on his feet seemed to help Cornchips recollect his composure, and his posture exuded a kind of sadistic delight. "Don't worry, buddy," the goblin grinned. "Naomi's one a' Winter's top assassins, after all. If yeh fuck this up, yeh won't have t' regret it fer long."