#Also of course the first thing I did with Scout was to injure him

[amethystfox4]

Some TF2 sketches (the first two I did yesterday and the third which I drew in class a couple weeks ago) for some reason I can only draw Scout from memory

Oh and oringal reference image for drawing #2 under the cut

It was an attempt, I just couldn't get Pyro's body to do things I want to do so I compromised

[tk-duveraun]

11/? Luo Binghe is SO NORMAL about Shen Yuan

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11 (here), 12

Read up through even numbered parts on Ao3

Luo Binghe dedicated all of his time to repairing his relationship with Shen Yuan. He cooked every meal, but kept the presentation plain rather than extravagant and showy. Some foods were completely banned. Anything that was considered a couple's food was off the table.

Ning Yingying helped fill in the gaps in his knowledge left by IRS's shitty writing. She also brought their masters peaches when Shen Yuan desperately wanted some and Luo Binghe couldn't bring himself to provide them.

Shen Jiu being fed his cooking also helped keep the behavior from seeming suggestive. Similarly, Luo Binghe did some of the laundry from both Peak Lords. He took care of outer robes and accessories, since he had knowledge of stain removal from silks and expensive cloth from his time in Blackswan. Meanwhile, Ming Fan washed or delegated their undergarments.

The pang in his heart at missing the opportunity to sniff Shen Yuan's inner robes was easily outweighed by his beloved's piece of mind.

Managing Qing Jing Peak's affairs brought to light another strange thing: Shen Yuan never left the mountain without another Peak Lord in his company. In IRS this had been explained by needing support or sudden dual cultivation for Without a Cure, but not only was Shen Yuan not suffering from the poison, but based on the records, this informal restriction existed for his entire tenure as Peak Lord.

Luo Binghe didn't like Ming Fan, but the Original Goods' cordial relationship with his shixiong was a boon.

"Really?" Ming Fan replied when asked about Shen Qingchun not leaving the peak alone. He leaned over Luo Binghe's papers and frowned. "I never noticed. He wasn't injured and his cultivation has always been stable."

Unlike Shen Qingqiu's went unsaid, but not forgotten given the deepening of Ming Fan's frown.

"Shizun," Ming Fan began, meaning Shen Jiu, "goes off peak frequently without an escort. He's always been the mind to Shifu's sword; it seems strange, though perhaps not." Ming Fan sighed and covered his eyes. "Shifu does seem to find himself in… unusual circumstances. It's probably nothing."

"Thanking Shixiong for his insight."

"Thank you for getting that stain out. I thought Shizun was going to kill me when I spilled his ink."

"I'll be leaving first." Luo Binghe finished the plesantries and returned Shen Yuan's records to Qing Jing's archives so no one else could look at them. Next he planned to look into the records from when Shen Yuan was a disciple, but those were stored on An Ding Peak. He would either need an excuse to access the files or an opportunity to break in.

The amount of important things Snowballing left out or just deliberately lied about was getting frustrating. Once again, Luo Binghe felt the deep desire to strangle him. Maybe when he was Shen Yuan's, his husband would teach him how to summon a soul from another world.

But that was a long term plan, for the moment he had to scout out An Ding. He had plenty of opportunities to scope it out, since Shen Yuan was constantly sending long letters to Shang Qinghua. Long enough that Luo Binghe had to give some credit to the fans that thought Shang Qinghua would be the endgame match for Shen Yuan.

Of course, even if Snowballing originally wanted that, Luo Binghe was here now for his wife.

Luo Binghe was full of grace and not anger. Luo Binghe liked Ning Yingying because she gave Shen Yuan peaches and all of the delightful treats he didn't allow himself to give his master. If he kept repeating those things to himself, he wouldn't do anything rash.

Luo Binghe took a deep breath and used the support beam above him to drag his body another few inches under the Bamboo House. Ning Yingying had brought a cat on peak. Not a terrible a idea, given that Shen Yuan loved all critters and they loved him in return. However, this cat was a queen on the edge of birth. So she had immediately found a loose board and weaseled her way underneath Shen Yuan's beloved home and had her kittens.

So now he was crawled on his back under the Bamboo House trying to remove the kittens. At least they were only three days old and wouldn't try to run away and squirm. He just wished he had the space to roll over. Moving would be easier on his stomach, but he didn't think he could bring his delicate cargo out that way.

His hair was a rats nest full of dirt and rocks. The robes were a complete loss. He should have changed out of his special, personal disciple robes for it, but he didn't think that far ahead and thus all of his beautiful embroidery would have to be done again. He liked Ning-shijie and might even, one day, forgive her for this disaster.

Worst of all, he couldn't hear a word from above, so either it wasn't as if he could use this opportunity to eavesdrop.

With his precious burden — three kittens — stuffed down the front of his robes, he began the long, indecorous wiggle back out. With the hard part complete, he let his mind wander, vaguely examining the fine construction that went into his wife's home.

Until he might as well as been slapped in the face. Before Meng Mo could realize something more interesting that kittens was happening, he threw up his mental shields.

There, through the raw Barbed Field Sheep's wool that served as insulation, was a complex array carved into the bottom of Shen Yuan's floorboards. There was blood in the grooves, enforcing and powering the spell. Luo Binghe felt his sweat freeze and his chest still for a moment before he was scrambling fiercely out of the crawlspace.

He didn't even care as his robes tore and he felt rocks dig into his flesh. Shen Yuan was in danger! What was this plotline? Did Snowball include anything important in that stupid book?

[demonslayedher]

Things that ran through my head while watching this episode:

--Not as much to say in my write-up today, because I would really just like to bask in this episode. The way that flashback of the Tokito Twins unfolds is an example of why I am so hooked on anime. That is some good angst, and it's made even better with that lighting, pacing, and vocal direction. I love the subtle changes in expressions, and the pause as Muichiro and Yuichiro just find themselves looking at each other in the silence of the night before the violence explodes. Ufotable was on their A-game. But also, none of this is original--they just read all the elements of the manga panels very mindfully, right down to all the ginkgo leaves.

--Like, seriously, seeing this episode animated just got me so much more emotionally invested in this back story than just seeing it unfold in manga panels. It took Yuichiro from "background character" to "character I feel deep regret for." He's not just crabby, he's a grieving kid who rightfully feels abandoned and desperate to hang on to what he has left, and that desperation leaves him no room to be kind or gentle--despite how deeply he cares.

--Irony time! Muichiro's favorite food is furofuki daikon--it's usually made with daikon cut into rounds like Yuichiro cut at that angry moment, and they already had a pot simmering in the background. Despite his irritated exterior, was Yuichiro nonetheless making a dish he knows Muichiro likes? In the way he talks about Amane just being out to use them because they're helpless children, it feels like a protective parent forbidding a child who dreams of being an actor from being targeted by talent scouts. It's heartbreaking that the fallout in their relationship comes from a place of love.

--I said after watching this episode before that I want an AU in which Muichiro grows up to be a sushi chef. Nah. Gyokko can the sushi artisan, and Muichiro can open a dinky takoyaki cart right outside his fancy restaurant and be way more popular.

--I love how Muichiro, powered by the desire to save Kotetsu and therefore able to free himself from the water pot, suddenly sounds more like his old little-brother self. Part of that--a lot of that--is due to being in a bad state due to the attacks he's endured. Of course you don't feel good, little dude, that's a bunch of Upper Moon Five poison in you. Not to mention you're severely injured. Still, it's so sweet to hear him sound more like little Muichiro instead of Yuichiro in his tone and cadence, especially as he recalls more about his dad.

--Another shout out to Kotetsu and Kanamori for being such troopers. Once again, I am confounded by Kanamori's timeline of when Tanjiro would have asked him to be understanding of Muichiro, Kanamori looking up Tetsuido's way of smithing Muichiro's sword because Tanjiro asked him this, and Kanamori having started and completed Muichiro's sword. The only way it works is if Kanamori works at the speed of sound and somehow the steel keeps pace with him as he smiths, or if Tanjiro for whatever reason asked him very far in advance to be understanding of Muichiro (well before Tanjiro and Muichiro had the Yoriichi Type Zero incident), or if Kanamori did not present the order of events or the cause and effect exactly as they happened. Perhaps he looked at Tetsuido's records first, and was finishing the sword when he mentioned being nervous about it to Tanjiro, and then with Tanjiro's encouragement, he got deeper inspiration from Tetsuido's notes while making the extra effort to understanding Muichiro. Whatever case, it's heartwarming that even though Muichiro & Kotetsu friendship gets more attention, Kanamori was indeed laying the foundation to be a very supportive part of Muichiro's life--this not only would put Tetsuido at rest, but it would cement how reliant swordsmen are on their swordsmiths. Also, it would simply be very nice and sweet to see Kanamori being a caring, sturdy presence in Muichiro's life.

--Also worth noting again, Kotetsu pleads with Muichiro to save Haganezuka, in order to save that sword.

--RIP for now, Kotetsu

--Gyokko is actually fun and I love how expressive he is with this unique body language, like how his little hands go to his neck once he's been cut. He acts like his pants have fallen down.

--Haganezuka is indeed very cool and handsome and no I don't think he'd have noticed if Kanamori got killed.

--This was an episode with no Tanjiro. I think the last time this happened was... the Rengoku special???

--He's there in the Taisho Secret, though, because this aired around Mitsuroi-chan's birthday! The Kamado siblings are so star-struck they really do just spend all these Taisho Secret time they can get with her. (Meanwhile, Tanjiro's only impressions of Muichiro are "He's right but he's a meanie! Though maybe he doesn't mean to be mean? Also, wow, he's impressive. Haha, he grabbed my nose! ...Uh, did he notice Chachamaru or something... is he... okay? Oh, he's flying----" so of course Tanjiro is going to be confused when Muichiro is suddenly a huge fan of him and thanking him for stuff he didn't even do.) Anyway, I happened to have just finishing eating omuraisu (omelette rice) when I watched this Taisho Secret, so tee hee, ya~y

--As usual, I had a lot to say.

--I'll just state again, THAT FLASHBACK IS SO GOOD. LIKE, DANG.

[darkcloudsatnight]

So, I have been watching Emesis Blue three times now, and I had just noticed that during that one scene when the detective (Spy) and Jane (Soldier) were searching (I think) Scout's mothers apartment, you can hear the chief of police ask if they're actually real detectives. Now, the names that Spy used for them were "Detective Mannix" and "Lieutenant Columbo". I randomly decided to search these names up on my computer and guess what I found

They were actual detective shows that were made in the 60s when Emesis Blue takes place

Now, another thing I want to add is the descriptions of these shows

Columbo

""Columbo" isn't the typical detective whodunit TV show. On most detective shows, viewers don't know who committed the crime until the detective pieces the clues together and figures it out. On this show, however, viewers see the crime unfold at the beginning of most episodes, including who the perpetrator is. The mystery and fun for viewers is trying to spot the clues that will lead Lt. Columbo (Peter Falk) to discover the culprit and watching the tricks he uses to get a confession. Episodes of "Columbo" were movie-length and ran sporadically on multiple networks during its run."

Mannix

"Joe Mannix is a Los Angeles-based detective who ends up taking a lot of punishment. When the show starts, he works for a large L.A. detective agency, Intertect. But beginning in season two, he sets out on his own and becomes a private investigator, assisted by loyal secretary Peggy Fair, the widow of a police officer. In the course of solving crimes, he can be expected to be shot, beaten, knocked unconscious, driven off the road or similarly injured. But despite all the bodily trauma, Mannix always gets his man."

Now, I'd like you to read those descriptions if you haven't already and compare them to the characters those false names were given to.

If you don't want to read, I'll just tell you what I think.

When it comes to Lieutenant Columbo being compared to Jane, or Soldier, we need to bring up what actually happens in the show. During the episodes, the audience already knows who did the crime and how it happened, because it is revealed in the beginning. Comparing that to Soldier in Emesis Blue, the audience doesn't exactly know what is happening when we first see Soldier, but while also seeing Medic's story tie in with his, then the audience will know that Medic is just as confused as Soldier is and that Medic isn't the current villain at large. (Unless he is and it was actually him who murdered Scout's mother and then kidnapped Scout, to which I think most people assumed after seeing the big bloody M on the wall once Medic found out what had happened to Scout's mother, which does rlly help with the "its all revealed in the beginning thing".)

I'd also like to bring up that Columbo (according to Wikipedia) means, "someone who expresses the obvious while not being aware of its obviousness". It remeinded me of when Soldier overheard that phone call that Jules Archibald had with Blutarch, and then how after he hung up, immediately called Redmond about a "proposition". Now, it was obvious that Jules was only in it for the money, but the fact that it didn't seem like Soldier was at all shocked by that fact just makes me compare it to it being obvious how bad Jules was, and how it was Soldier who found out about it, but how it seemed like he didn't get it.

Now, when it comes to Mannix, it was said that at first, the detective was working for a company and, quote "took a lot of punishment" and in this case comparing him to Spy, Spy was working under Jules Archibald, who taught him how to kill his own teammates without guilt, and he ended up getting burned beyond recognition (rip bozo). In the second season of the show, the detective gets an assistant, who is the a widow of a police officer (for Spy, this would be Soldier, being a past war veteran) and going off on his own without the company. Now, the timelines are a little off here, but, when Spy killed Archibald, I would say it was almost like the equivalent of Detective Mannix going off on his own. At that point, Spy has already abandoned any hope in Soldier (as if he had any) but still had the tolerance not to kill him when he had his chance, still "working" with him in the end during Archibalds funeral (that got intruded by Medic, rip Spy, no one will miss u)

Now, I don't want to make assumptions, but I have a feeling that Detective Mannix did have something like a separation from his assistant just as these two did, just not as violent or horrifying or mentally damaging (if not, someone please correct me).

If any of y'all have anything else to add or if you would like to correct me or anything else like that, PLEASE DO BC I ACTUALLY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M TALKING ABT AND THIS WAS JUST A RANDOM RANT THAT I THOUGHT ABOUT WHEN FINDING OUT ABOUT THIS AND WATCHING THE MOVIE.

(I put wayyyy too much effort into this HELP)

(Just know that I haven't watched any of the shows and this is all just based off the descriptions of them, but I would like to watch some episodes of them to see if anything that happens in the show is similar to Emesis Blue.)

[theladyheroine]

The Bad Batch ATLA AU 🪨🔥🌊🍃

❥ Headcanons #1

❥ Hello there! 👋🏽 I’m back with the Bad Batch posts! And I wanted to try elaborating on a previous headcanon I made. There’s some things I might change from the original concept though, but I hope you all enjoy!

Starting off, as a way to try & connect with both the Clone Wars & Bad Batch concepts, let’s just say it’s during the 100 Year War. I think the major clones from the series would be soldiers fighting the Fire Nation. Or as an alternative, it could take place during a different Avatar period. And maybe they’re framed individuals on the run? Kind of like in Season 1-2 of the series. 😅

Either way, I really want Omega to be the Avatar! But so far for each member, they would be from a specific region or place. Rather than being everyone being related, they don’t exactly resemble each other anyways lol. 😅

Also shoutout to my Bad Batch Discord Server! Who helped me flesh out this AU! 🙏💕💕

Hunter would definitely be a firebender, at first I wanted him to be Earth instead but Fire seems more his style. While he’d still be the tracker of the group, he might also play role as a scout when they enter a new territory. For a professional occupation, maybe he’d be some kind of a survivalist? Just a guy out in the wilderness, I’m not too sure what else to do for him though? 😅 If anyone has any ideas I’d appreciate it!

Wrecker is an obvious earthbender, but I don’t want him to be only a skilled fighter because of his strength. I feel like that’s a common trope for tough characters, but also because Wrecker is known to be pretty smart with his demolitions skills. He could prove to be a good engineer or inventor much like Sokka, with the help of Tech of course. Even a metal bender!

Tech would for sure be an airbender, at first I wanted Water but air bending is about avoiding your opponent then knocking them off balance. Which is totally Tech’s thing! However, I feel as though Tech would have a bit of wanderlust in Avatar? He’d want to see the world & learn about the other nations, so maybe he’d already be an Airbending teacher! Or a researcher! But with some engineering skills he’s picked up since he, Echo, & Wrecker spend alot of time fixing the ship too.

Echo was definitely a toughie for me, but I decided to go with Waterbending instead! While I’m sure it’d be a little bit tougher considering his prosthetics, I feel he’d be very a real strong bender once he gets going. His teaching skill is very kind though with Omega. Also! As his occupation I feel being a normal solider fighting the Fire Nation would work well with him.

Crosshair would be a nonbender from the Fire Nation! He’s definitely a hothead but since he can’t bend I feel he’d try to teach Omega how to use weapons if she can’t bend in a situation. But instead of a gun or something like that he’d be the archer of the group! Maybe he’d have Hunter make flaming arrows for him if they need it, but he strongly advises against it. 😅

And Omega is *drumroll* the Avatar!! 🥳 I really really wanted her to be the Avatar, and water is probably the best fit for her! I originally picked Air but I changed my mind because I didn’t want her to be a copy of Aang, it didn’t seem fair. And I did get an idea from my Bad Batch discord saying Batcher would be a Polar Bear Dog! This was sooooo cute! But continuing, Omega would be thrilled to travel with the Bad Batch! Storywise, I feel maybe she left the North Pole part of the world to either learn on her own or she had to leave for safety reasons? But also because those who were originally training her thought it’d be too dangerous for her to leave the Pole.

I also want to include Gonky because he’s the Bad Batch mascot! Gonky would be a little injured turtleduck Omega found while traveling near the Earth Kingdom. And he likes to hitch rides in their bags or maybe Wrecker likes to hold him since he’s so cute & wittle! 🥰😊 Batcher likes to play with him too but he gets scared sometimes. 😅

The Maurauder is also Tech’s Flying Bison! I did discuss with the discord about his name being Maurauder or Havoc? I went with Maurauder, but both can work well!

❥ And that’s it for now! I do wanna expand on this at some point in the future, but I hope you all had fun! 🙌 Thank you for your time!

[lets-try-some-writing]

For your "secret of Primacy" Au! I'm wondering how exactly Megatron would visually and verbally react to fighting Optimus after learning the truth about him and to learning that Orion aka one of Megatron's oldest friend has been dead. and how the team handles it after Optimus is back to interacting with them? I hope this counts/works as a request? I'm not used to sending in requests.

This totally works a request, no worries. All I need is an idea of what you are asking for :) I have waited SO LONG for someone to express an interest in this particular AU of mine since its one of my favs. Can you tell I like hurting my blorbo? That said, here you go!!! Suffering and some degree of comfort!!!

Previous part here.

━━━━━━ ⊙ ❖ ⊙ ━━━━━━━━━━━━ ⊙ ❖ ⊙

Megatron was made aware of Optimus's nature by accident. For several weeks all he knew through Soundwave was that for whatever reason, the Autobots were suddenly treating their Prime far differently than they usually did. They were protective, taking hits for him more often, even dragging him around and very rarely allowing him onto a battlefield with them. His first instinct was of course to assume that his greatest foe had been injured or something of the like. Optimus's medic was notorious for getting anyone and everyone to obey when health was involved.

But that did not seem right, not when Megatron observed the Prime from a distance through Laserbeak.

On the rare event that he was out and about, Optimus stuck to Ratchet like glue more often than not. The Prime walked with confidence and then shrank in on himself rather sporadically. It almost seemed like he couldn't determine if he felt powerful or not. There were also several occasions where he was reported simply... wandering. Ratchet was there with him, but he seemed more like a tired guardian than anything else as Optimus meandered around different locations with engraving tools of all things. It was downright baffling to watch the Prime, leader of the Autobots, wander through forests with his medic before plopping down to engrave. It was strange enough to not even have Megatron bother to try and make a plan around the event. It had to be a trap. There was no way his old foe was casually enjoying nature and drawing as if he were a sparkling fresh out of the Well. At least that was what Megatron assumed until he finally felt like getting some sort of answer.

He had not planned it, but when he arrived to oversee the extraction of energon from a new mine, the Prime and his team were quick to arrive on scene. Immediately Megatron became acutely aware of the fact that the Autobots formation was off. Usually Optimus took to lead, serving as their heavy hitter and primary shield. Now though he was held back, hidden as much as a frame of his size could be, behind a wall of his fellow soldiers. The Prime never allowed his soldiers to guard him in such a manner, and it seemed he was thoroughly uncomfortable with it. He still readied himself for battle, but every time he attempted to step forward and reclaim his normal position, the scout was quick to hold him back. A sparkling protecting his Sire was not unheard of, but treating Optimus Prime of all mecha like a rookie? It confused Megatron, but it also gave him something to work with, a sore spot to prod at.

With his Vehicons quickly forcing the Autobots to space out a degree, Megatron flew into action, charging at his foe with every intention to use this seeming weakness to his advantage. If the Prime was injured, then all the better. He could eliminate him or injure him further. And if it were Optimus's mental state causing the issue, then Megatron was well equipped to make his life infinitely worse. However when his blade met Optimus's, there was something different in the Prime's optics. A strange emotion that Megatron had never witnessed before. Whatever was going on with Optimus made him falter, and that eventually gave Megatron the chance to knock him to the ground, ready to deal the killing blow.

He had no intent to actually bring down the blade, not when Optimus's mask retracted and fearful youthful optics gazed up at him. But of course even before he could call a retreat, Ratchet was on him in a nanoklik. The medic shoved him as much as a mech of smaller stature could and proceeded to stand above Optimus, his welder out and flaring. His field flew wide, filled with parental protectiveness of all things as he all but demanded Optimus flee.

Ratchet: GET OUT OF HERE!

Optimus: Ratchet-

Ratchet: MOVE IT!

Optimus: I cannot just leave you here-!

Arcee, moving to grab him: Sir, come on!

Bulkhead: We'll cover you! Get back to base!

Optimus: I will NOT leave you here to fight alone!

Ratchet: Take Bumblebee with you! I will not see sparklings die on my watch!

The medic seemed to immediately regret his words even as Optimus got up and moved, the scout tailing behind him. They vanished into their groundbridge and Megatron took to the skies, too baffled to care much for trying to slaughter the remaining Autobots. By the time they left, Megatron finally had the words click.

'Sparklings'

Ratchet used the designated glyph indicating that there were more than one. Considering Optimus and Bumblebee were the ones to flee, only half of the equation made sense. To imply that Optimus was a sparkling- it was an impossibility. Megatron knew Optimus long before he was Prime. There was no way he was secretly younger than at least a million vorns. And yet, the more he saw and the more he heard, the more suspicious he became. Megatron could not help but have Laserbeak follow Optimus on his outings, getting close enough to listen and hear what was being said. Was it a risk? Yes. But was it worth it? Megatron liked to think so when he finally caught enough information to leave him reeling.

It started off innocent, with Ratchet and Optimus in a field looking up at the stars. It was almost disgusting if not for the awe filled look on Optimus's face that did not fit his chiseled structure. But as time passed, the discussion was so strange and reality rocking that Megatron could hardly believe it.

Optimus: My Sire was named after some of these stars?

Ratchet: Yes. From what I gathered, Alpha Trion was rather fond of constellations and found Orion trying to eat some of his star maps of the ones from this sector of the galaxy.

Optimus: And that gave him his designation?

Ratchet: In part. There were other factors, but he did gain part of his designation from that incident.

Optimus: And how did you gain yours?

Ratchet: I threw the tool I am named after at one of my fellows as a newspark. The name stuck.

Optimus: What do you think my Sire would have called me if... if he were here to see me?

Ratchet: ...

Ratchet: I do not know. I was never very well tuned into Orion's mind. However, you two share a fondness for knowledge. I think he might have given you a name derived from his own.

Optimus: That is... somewhat comforting.

The command deck was totally silent on the Nemesis as Laserbeak's audio transferred back. Megatron replayed the clip over and over again, not fully believing that what was said truly occurred. Laserbeak had no been spotted, that much was certain. That meant that there was no way the Prime was acting to lay out some elaborate trap. What was being said had to be genuine, or at least believed to be genuine by one or both of the mecha involved. It was too outlandish to be real, but then again, the facts told Megatron all he needed to know.

Megatron spent the next few weeks embroiled in never ending questioning, so much so that he largely forgot to leave the Nemesis as he tried to determine if it was some elaborate scheme or not. But in the end, he and Soundwave agreed. They needed truth. He required answers from the source.

As such, Megatron waited until Optimus went on one of his wanderings, specifically the odd ones where he meandered alone. They were rare, but soon enough, Megatron took to the skies with the intent to meet his foe and figure out exactly what was going on. He couldn't have arrived at a better time when he landed and found Optimus weeping in the grass on an open field, too wrapped up in whatever emotions he was dealing with to even notice Megatron's arrival. A part of him wanted to blast the Prime then and there, but the EM field flowing toward him told of loss, grief, and the longing of a sparkling. It was too strange to not inspect.

Megatron: Prime, what in the pits are you doing?

Optimus: Megatron-!

Megatron: Peace Optimus. I mean you no harm this cycle... I merely want answers.

Optimus, wary and ready to flee: I will give you nothing that could harm my Autobots.

Megatron: I only want to know who you are.

Optimus: Who I am?

Megatron: That's right. I heard your recent conversations with your medic. You referred to yourself as though you were two beings, calling Orion Pax your 'Sire'. Why?

Optimus: I...

Megatron: Well?

Optimus: ...Did you really think the Council would ever allow a pawn they cannot control to roam freely? Orion was pure, perfect to lead. He was too good. And so they made me.

Megatron: So you are Orion's sparkling?

Optimus: In a sense. The Matrix takes those offered and tears them apart to forge a Prime. I am the product of Orion's offering. His sparkling in all but name.

Megatron: Then all this time-

Optimus: You fought a Prime. My Autobots treat me like a sparkling now that they know my origin. It is strange and I am not fond of being seen as weak, not when I have led my mecha to war since my creation.

Megatron: ...

Optimus: Orion Pax is dead, and I am his replacement. I have led our kind to war without thinking too deeply on it because it was what was required of me. Is that the answer you sought?

Megatron: I did not expect you to tell me everything.

Optimus: I have not told you everything. Only that which is important. But... I felt you should know. My Sire was once someone dear to you after all.

Shaken, Megatron could only stare in shock at the mech who he now knew to be a stranger. He could sense no lies in the Prime's words, nor was there any reason to lie. Optimus spoke the truth, and that hurt more than Megatron thought it would. He suspected it, but now he knew. Orion Pax was dead, and he would never be returning. Removing the Matrix would do nothing. Killing 'Optimus Prime' would do nothing. Orion was gone, and with him, any real connection to the mech sitting in the grass beside Megatron.

His spark panged with sorrow, but amidst it, a desire bloomed. Optimus was all that remained of Orion, and with the reveal of his nature, he revealed a weakness. He wanted some sort of parental care, that much was clear. If Megatron could offer that, he would not only secure an important ally, but also keep Orion's legacy safe. It was merely a bonus that his morals were indulged by caring for a sparkling as well.

A grin spread on his face as a plan formed, and within a klik, he extended a servo with an offer.

"Come back to the Nemesis with me. No harm will come to you. And there, we can talk. I will tell you of Orion if you in turn tell me more of our origin,"

[crystalninjaphoenix]

It's Soon

Switch AU

A JSE Fanfic

Feels like we've been stuck in IRIS for forever. Let's change that, why don't we? :3c They're not quite getting out yet, but there's finally a hint of something. Anti messes around with the camera in his room, and in the process someone finds him... someone familiar. It looks like IRIS needs to keep an eye on threats from the outside. Because some of them are slipping past their defenses and scouting things out. Heheheh... enjoy!

More of This AU | | First Chapter | Previous Chapter | Read on AO3 under CrystalNinjaPhoenix

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“Come on, you stupid fuck,” Anti muttered. Then he winced. He shouldn’t have said anything. He was trying to do this subtly. If IRIS heard him cursing to himself while sitting in the blind spot beneath the camera, they might start to get suspicious. But this was so frustrating! Why was this camera made of fucking solid rock?!

He took a deep breath, careful not to move too much so the chair he was standing on wouldn’t creak. Just... take a mental step back. He was making some progress with this tiny Allen wrench. He could almost feel the camera give way in a couple spots. But it also felt like the wrench was just as likely to bend before the camera moved.

Alright. Get a better grip. Both on his temper and this tiny bit of metal in his hands. Anti wiped his sweaty hand on his shirt then tried again, jamming the Allen wrench into the small gap where the body of the camera met the swivel mechanism. He started pulling and pushing, wiggling it deeper before taking it out again. Actually, could he hook the bend of the wrench around something and jam it in there? Maybe if it was stuck, the camera would break the next time it swiveled? But... the mechanism also might just break the wrench. Could he risk losing it?

He considered it for a while. Then another idea came to him. One which might stand a better chance of working... might. 

Anti angled the wrench so that the shorter part of the L-shaped wrench fit inside the gap. He pushed it some more, then twisted it until he couldn’t move it any more. It wasn’t as securely jammed as he wanted it to be. But if he failed, he could just pull it out and try again... provided that the noise of his attempts didn’t attract IRIS’s attention. 

After a moment, he whispered, “Fuck it.” He was getting desperate. Whisper said that help was on the way, but he didn’t know when, or if help would succeed when it got here. So time to try something. He grabbed hold of the wrench, making sure to hold it tight—then hopped off the chair.

SQUEAK!

Pain shot across his fingers. He yelped. The moment he landed he pulled his hand close to himself, looking at the damage. The skin had been torn on his pointer and middle finger, as well as across the pad of his thumb. The places where he’d been gripping the wrench. Blood was immediately dripping down his hand towards his wrist. “F-fuck,” he hissed. He couldn’t assess how bad the damage was because there was so much blood. Of course he’d just injured one of the spots on his body with the most blood vessels. How tightly had the wrench been stuck, if it did this?

The wrench! Where is it? And what was that loud screeching squeak?

Anti looked up again. Yes! Yes! The camera had been moved! Not by much, but it was tilted up a noticeable amount. At the very least, the blind spot had been expanded. Good. He had more space to work with. The Allen wrench was still jammed in place as well. Anti could see a bit of his blood on it, about to drip off. He quickly reached up and wiped off the wrench with the black sleeve of his jacket. Just in case the drop of blood gave something away.

Now... to try and take care of the fucking painful cuts.

He grabbed onto his injured fingers with one hand, squeezing it tight. The pressure helped distract him from how much it hurt—and it helped stem the blood, as well. Then he walked back into view of the camera. “Hey!” He shouted. “I don’t know if you’ll care, but I’m fucking hurt.” He raised his injured hand, wincing as the lack of pressure made the pain return full force. “I doubt you’ll fucking do anything, but worth a shot, huh? I’m gonna fucking... bleed all over your stuff.”

Then he walked over to the bed and sat down, picking up the blanket and crudely wrapping the corner of it around his fingers, tying it around them and yanking it tight with his teeth. Sure, he could use the sleeve of his jacket. But fuck these IRIS guys. His blood wouldn’t be getting all over their blanket if he hadn’t been imprisoned here in the first place.

Anti lied down on the bed, staring up into the ceiling and trying to ignore the pain and the pressure. Maybe he could fall asleep after a bit and ignore it...

But after a while—a while that both felt like forever and only a few seconds at the same time—he heard the door open. Anti quickly sat up. Two guards walked into the room, wearing helmets that fully covered their faces. The door closed behind them. “Subject,” one said. “Are you injured?”

“Oh, so you do care,” Anti muttered. “You want your subjects to be in top form, hm? Or are you mad I got hurt in something you didn’t do?”

The two guards were silent for a moment. “Are you hurt?” the second guard repeated.

Anti rolled his eyes. He held up his hand with the wrapped fingers, dragging the blanket along with the motion. The corner was stained red with blood. “What do you think?”

“How did the injury happen?” the first guard asked.

“I was sitting on that chair,” Anti said slowly, glancing at the chair in question. “But I started to fall, so I grabbed onto it, and that sharp fucking edge of the back cut me.” There was a section of the chair that was unusually sharp. But it probably wasn’t enough to cut someone. Still, it was the best he could come up with.

The guards looked at the chair. Then the first one turned back to him. “Where?”

“On the side,” Anti said. “I was falling pretty hard, you probably wouldn’t cut yourself normally.”

The first guard looked at the chair again. Did they seem uncertain? He couldn’t tell with their face covered. The second one faced them and started moving about silently... were they talking to the first one? But Anti couldn’t hear their voice. Ohhhh did they have some sort of radio channel in those helmets? That made sense. They were speaking into microphones. But they must’ve been very good microphones, because when they spoke to Anti he couldn’t hear any trace of speaker interference.

After a moment of silent conversation, the first guard looked at Anti again. “Stay,” they said, then headed towards the door.

Anti sat up straight, instinctively wondering if he could make a run for it. But the second guard held up a hand, asking him to stop. He didn’t want to listen, but he knew he probably wouldn’t make it anyway. Especially since he’d either have to untie the blanket around his hand first, or run while dragging it behind him.

The first guard started rummaging around their belt. Anti tensed. What? Were they going to pull out a weapon? If these guys were planning to taser him, drug him, or worse, he wasn’t going to go down without a fight. He glared, getting ready—

A green light darted out from one of the pouches on the belt, heading towards the camera. The guard sighed. “Okay so we have about a minute,” they said.

“A minute for what?!” Anti demanded, voice cracking slightly to give away his fear.

“You don’t recognize my voice? Or Sam?”

“...Sam?” Anti glanced over at the camera. The green light now hovering beneath it... was a glowing green eyeball. Sam waved their nerve-tail at him. Anti gasped, and looked over at the ‘guard.’ Now that he recognized Sam, he thought back on the voice and it did sound familiar—

The ‘guard’ reached up and flipped back the visor on the helmet. “Hey, Anti,” Jack said, smiling. “You, uh... you doing alright?”

“Jack!” Anti gasped. He shot up and wrapped his arms around him.

“Whoa!” Jack stumbled back in surprise. He laughed. “You must be in some sort of state to hug someone.”

“I’m so glad to see you,” Anti whispered. Tears welled up in his eyes.

“I’m glad to see you too, but we only have a minute,” Jack said. “Sam can disrupt the cameras for a short period of time, but they’ll come on again quickly.”

“Right.” Anti backed away. His excited hug had dragged the blanket off the bed, as it was still tied around his hand. He quickly gathered it up, bundling it to his chest and holding it there. “H-how’d you find this place? How’d you get in?!”

“Okay, it’s weird and you can’t ask follow-up questions because we’re short on time,” Jack said. “This weird glowy guy called Whisper showed up and told me where to go to find this hidden facility. Sam’s apparently able to temporarily disrupt IRIS tech for a bit so that’s how we got through the cloaking. We went to find JJ’s magician friend, that Aoife lady, and she and this group of magicians are helping us.”

That was a lot to take in. But Anti latched onto the most familiar part. “Whisper? Yeah I know Whisper. They’ve shown up to me twice now.”

“Really? Uh, good!” Jack nodded. “So they’re probably actually helpful and this isn’t a trap.”

“How’d you get the guard uniform?” Anti asked.

“Uhhh long story,” Jack said. “Basically I snuck in with some magical invisibility and then I used this magic thing here to copy a uniform.” He took another object out of his pouch. A small stick of polished dark wood, branching off into a two-pronged fork at the end. “And from then on, they just sorta... accepted that I was one of them?” He quickly put the stick away.”

“Are you going to get us out of here?” Anti asked. “Jackie and Marvin are on this floor, I’m pretty sure they’re really close by, if not my fucking neighbors. We don’t know where Jameson and Volt are but Jackie said they’re on the ground floor—o-or a basement, if there’s a base—”

“There’s a basement,” Jack confirmed. “I haven’t seen into it yet. I’ll check it out as best I can.”

Sam darted towards Jack again, flying into the open pouch on his belt. Jack quickly closed it, and Anti raised his eyebrow. “We’re out of time?”

“Getting close,” Jack said, closing the visor on his helmet again.

“Wh-what do you want me to do?” Anti asked.

“Me or Stacy will come get you when it’s time to break you out. We’re just scouting things for now. Uh, now before the camera comes on again... remember, this never happened.”

Anti nodded, sitting down on the bed again. “I’m going to be, uh, aggressive to you a bit. Because I’ve been aggressive to all the guards. Don’t want to blow your cover, but remember, it’s not real.”

Jack nodded back. “Of course. Now shh.”

Anti snapped his mouth closed and started glaring at Jack, the same way he’d been glaring at him before he realized who he was. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the camera’s red light flick on again.

A few moments passed in awkward silence, with Jack standing there stoically and Anti continuing to glare. “So... you guys can’t trust me alone right now?” he said at one point. “What changed your mind? Should I be impressed that you think I’m so dangerous? Or is this about my injury? Should I appreciate your caring about me for the first time? Ohhhh thank you so fucking much.” Jack was pretty good at playing the ‘emotionless IRIS guard’ part. It was mildly unnerving at times, but Anti reminded himself that beneath that reflective helmet, it was still Jack in there. His cousin. The only family he really had.

Damn... he should probably spend more time with Jack once all this was over with.

After a while, the first guard reappeared, holding a white plastic briefcase. The guard shoved it at Jack, clearly annoyed. Jack stumbled a bit, looked down at the briefcase, then nodded. He walked closer to Anti. “Unwrap that wound,” he said.

Anti continued to silently glare at him. Then reluctantly untied the blanket corner. Or—pretended to be reluctant. He trusted that Jack would be careful with... whatever he was going to do next. But he was still nervous. His hand shook a bit as the wound was revealed. The blood had mostly clotted by now, though some red still leaked out.

Jack opened up the briefcase and took out some sort of wet wipe. “Give me your hand,” he said. 

Again, Anti hesitated. This was a bit more real than his previous fake reluctance. He didn’t know what that wipe was, but there was a chance it would sting. But... well, he was bleeding. So he slowly held out his hand, bracing himself.

Jack set the white briefcase down on the bed next to Anti and took Anti’s hand. He wasn’t gentle about it, but Anti could imagine a real IRIS guard being harsher, so he didn’t say anything. Jack started cleaning the cuts with the wipe—and yep, that hurt. Anti hissed, gritting his teeth and fighting the urge to pull his hand back. His fingers twitched and his free hand curled into a fist. “...sorry,” Jack whispered in a barely-audible voice. Anti didn’t dare respond.

After the cuts were clean, Jack reached into the white briefcase and pulled out a roll of some sort of bandages. He started wrapping up the wounds on Anti’s fingers, and Anti’s eyes widened in surprise. These weren’t normal bandages. They were cold and... sticky? He shuddered slightly. 

Jack finished, and Anti quickly pulled his hand away, looking at these weird bandages. They were keeping his blood in, at least. And they weren’t too tight, wrapped individually around each finger and the pad of his thumb. He could probably get used to the stickiness—it wasn’t too different from a band-aid. The cold feeling was pretty weird, though. “...thanks,” he said quietly. Then added. “Or fucking whatever,” just to keep up appearances.

“Don’t hurt yourself again,” Jack said.

“I’ll do what I want,” Anti said. “But if it’s sooo much trouble.”

A little laugh escaped from under Jack’s helmet. He closed the white briefcase and stood up straight, looking back over at the first guard. And then after a moment the two of them headed towards the door.

“Hey, don’t come back here!” Anti called. “Especially not anytime soon. Fuck you.”

The door opened and the guard stepped out. Jack faced back towards Anti for a moment before also going through. The door closed and locked behind them.

Anti let out a breath and laid down on the bed. He stared up at the ceiling idly, then held up his hand to look at that as well. He probably wouldn’t be able to use those fingers or his thumb for a while. Not without it really hurting at least. That sucked.

...he hoped that Jack understood his last words. Hoped that he understood he really meant the opposite.

‘Please come back. Soon. ...I love you.’

———————

The goal was to explore as much of the facility as possible today. They needed to have a good idea of the layout and security before they tried to break the others out. But if they kept infiltrating the facility repeatedly, that would only increase the chances of them getting caught and everything going to shit. So the three of them agreed they only had this one shot to learn everything they could about this IRIS compound.

Aoife had indeed found the three of them before they found her. She’d been trying to contact JJ for the past couple days, and when she couldn’t reach him and found his and Marvin’s house empty, she tried to find JJ’s friends, stumbling upon Rama’s house first. They returned with Jack and Stacy from their search for the IRIS facility and found Aoife standing right on the front step. “Oh! I wondered if you were home,” she said. “Listen, I-I think—I think something’s happened to JJ and Marvin.”

“We know,” Rama said as they walked over. “Um, why don’t you come inside? We can discuss things.”

It turned out that Aoife had a terrible vision on the same day that the group had gone to help wake Anti up—she said that it was so bad it woke her up from a nap. “My undirected divination magic doesn’t really result in clear visions,” she explained. “Not like you see in movies. I just... had a really, really bad feeling. Y-you kind of learn to read them. It was concentrated around JJ and his friends.”

“Why did it take you three days to go looking for him if it was so bad?” Stacy asked.

“I... hoped that the future would change,” Aoife said quietly. “But by the next day, I realized it wouldn’t, and I would need to find JJ’s friends. I didn’t actually know much about them, you see.”

The three of them shared information with her, to her great worry. She agreed to help them as much as she could, though she said that she didn’t know much magic outside of her divination and some combat spells. So, she contacted her friend Persephone, head of the Magic Circle which had helped JJ find the other IRIS facility. With Persephone’s help, the four of them concocted their plan. Stacy would reach out to IRIS, pretending to be more willing to tell them about her experiences with Distorter, then try to convince them to take them to one of their facilities. If—when she was able to do that, Persephone would cast an invisibility spell on Jack and Sam, while Aoife gave him a talisman to help him copy some clothes from someone there so he could blend in once the spell wore off.

“Are you sure I’ll be able to convince them to take me somewhere?” Stacy asked. “What if they take me to a facility, but it’s not the right place?”

“Then we come up with another plan,” Jack said. “We could probably sneak in since Sam can disrupt their cloaking for a little bit... but that’s riskier, since their security will be up.”

“Yeah,” Rama agreed. “They’ll have to lower their security to get you there. It’ll be a narrow window, but easier than sneaking around when they won’t be expecting us.”

Luckily, Stacy succeeded easily. She contacted the man she’d spoken with before—the man she’d met up with in the city, who’d sent her the WTCHR cameras. He was all too eager to speak with her. And in fact, she didn’t even need to ask to see one of IRIS’s facilities, as the man she spoke to asked her if she was able to come visit one first. Stacy had agreed easily. IRIS said they would send a car to her rented house the next day, so the others scrambled to get their plan into action.

The ride to the facility had been extremely tense for Jack. The car IRIS sent was small. The front two seats were taken by a driver and a guard-looking guy in black, while the back two seats were for Stacy and the IRIS worker who she’d spoken to. So Jack had to crouch on the floor, partially on top of Stacy’s feet, trying not to make any sound or move too much, in case the guy heard him or noticed something floating on top of an invisible guy.

Things went smoothly once they actually got there, though. Jack got out of the car as it parked in the parking garage (there was a fucking parking garage in here! A short one, but still!) then found the first person he could who was wearing something that covered their face; he knew he looked a lot like Anti and the others, and he didn’t want IRIS to realize that. That turned out to be one of these security people in black. A pair of them were standing near the entrance to one of the buildings. Jack quickly tapped the two forked ends of the magical talisman to their outfit then darted away before they could get suspicious about the random tap. He found somewhere empty and pulled the uniform over his clothes, just in time for the invisibility spell to wear off.

From then on, it was surprisingly easy to blend in. One would think IRIS would have better security, but apparently nothing accounted for human error. He just had to stick close to the other people in these uniforms. The copied helmet was already tuned into their radio channel, which seemed to work by proximity. If he was close, he could naturally talk to others with the helmet. The helmet also seemed to know when he wanted to talk to someone not using the radio channel... which was a tad worrying but there was no time to think about it!

Jack figured out that he copied the uniform of a C&C officer. He wasn’t sure what C&C meant, though. Maybe one of the Cs stood for containment. There were three ranks of C&C—that he could figure out, at least. The ones without helmets who just had face masks. Then above them, the ones with helmets and an all-black uniform, like the one he’d copied. Then at the top, ones with helmets and black-and-white uniforms. He assumed that the authority and weaponry of the guards scaled with rank, as it tended to.

There were four buildings in the complex, except for the parking garage. The IRIS man took Stacy into a small low-lying building that just seemed to be offices. There was another building that seemed to be full of dormitories—Jack hadn’t explored that one much, feeling weird that he was intruding on someone’s private space. Then there was a square white one that he needed a key card to get in. Unfortunately, the copy spell hadn’t made one. “Sam?” he whispered. “Do you think you can... disrupt that?”

Sam said they probably could override the keycard system for a second, but that they probably shouldn’t. Just in case IRIS detected that and thought it was worrying.

“We were planning to disrupt the cameras, though. You think they wouldn’t detect that?”

Sam thought that disrupting cameras would be less worrying to IRIS. Besides, they thought that the group was probably in the big building.

“Good point. We’ll check that one out.”

And Sam had been right. The biggest building had been where Jack found Anti, and Anti confirmed that the others were in here too. Jack knew where they were. This copied helmet had the same systems as the original, including virtual words overlaying certain doors. Like some sort of AR goggles. When he looked at some of the doors in this cell block—three of them, exactly—they had a green X appear over them. Anti had been in one, so Marvin and Jackie would be in the others. Now... to find the other two.

There was nothing on the top floor but big empty rooms and a lot of doors that he couldn’t access without a keycard. The floor beneath that had some storage and weird glass-walled rooms that Jack didn’t want to think about. Beneath that was the cell block where Anti, Jackie, and Marvin were, along with some more keycard-locked rooms, especially around the elevator. Beneath that was the ground floor, which was mostly office-looking spaces around the front entrance, and the rest was all shiny metal—floor, walls, ceiling, everything. And beneath that... was a basement.

Jack was nervous as he stepped into the elevator and pressed the button to get there. The last of five. His stomach sank as the elevator did. Soon, he stepped out into a hallway with white walls and a concrete floor... lined with metal doors.

He swallowed a lump in his throat and walked forward, scanning the doors as he did. They all had locks, so he was unable to go into any of them. He turned a corner—

One of the doors was marked.

In his weird AR overlay, one of the doors had a blue X, similar to the green ones on the doors in the other cell block. Okay, good. Someone was down here. Schneep or JJ, one of them, at least. He hesitated outside the doorway, but... there wasn’t anything he could do right now. He was lucky that one of the other guards basically said to him “hey come check on this subject with me” and he got to talk to Anti. He doubted something like that would happen down here. Security was clearly much tighter. So he kept walking.

He turned another corner, and found another cell marked with an X. This one was white. Hm... what did the different colors mean? Did they mean that they were different... types of prisoners? Or was it different security levels?

At the end of this hallway was a set of double doors. A set of double doors currently guarded by two C&C guards in helmets.

Shit.

“What are you doing down here?” one asked Jack, his voice coming clearly through the radio.

“I got curious,” Jack replied, trying to sound calm.

“Curious?” the second guard asked, doubtful.

“Yeah, I heard what was happening and I wanted to know if I could see.”

The two guards looked at each other. “Well... you can’t go in, but I guess you could look through the window if you want,” the first one said.

The what—oh. He’d been so distracted trying to come up with an excuse that he didn’t notice the windows in the double doors—or the blue glow coming through them. Luckily, the helmet hid the way he suddenly went pale. “Thanks guys,” he said, impressed at how calm he sounded. He walked over to the doors and peered through the window...

What was this?! Some sort of fucking evil experiment room?!

Jack took in the scene through the window in chunks. The tables with straps. The scientists in white. The other C&C guards. And—Jameson. Tied down to one of these tables, hooked to some sort of machine by some weird headband, his whole body glowing blue.

“Crazy, isn’t it?” said the second guard. “I’ve never seen an anomaly be so... obvious, I guess?”

“Yeah... crazy,” Jack said, trying to focus on his words and not the trembling in his hands. He could see tears in Jameson’s open eyes.

“I heard they got it to do some bloody wild things during some of the tests,” the first guard said. “Like... I think it turned into a bird or something.”

“Really?” Jack asked, tearing his eyes away from the window. “That’s fucking wild.”

“It is, isn’t it?” The first guard laughed. “Alright, for real, though. You can’t be here, mate.”

“Right, right. S-sorry.” Jack turned and walked away. “See you later,” he said, trying to sound casual.

“See you,” the two guards said.

Amazingly, Jack managed to get into the elevator before the tears started to come.

———————

“Okay, so how fast should I drive to get away from here?” Rama asked as Jack climbed into their car.

“It’s fine, I don’t think they figured me out,” Jack said.

Getting out of the facility had been a blur. He saw Stacy leaving, escorted out in the same car she’d been driven to the compound in. She sent a thumbs up emoji to the group chat, indicating that everything was fine. So... Jack left on his own. He walked until he reached the same place where he, Rama, and Stacy first saw the facility from. Then he sat down and texted a car emoji to the chat, indicating to Rama nearby that they had to come pick him up at this spot.

Sam wiggled out of the pouch on his belt and flew up to sit on his shoulder. They said they thought that went well... but they couldn’t be sure.

“Do you have any feelings, Sam?” Jack asked, taking his helmet off.

After a moment, Sam said they had a feeling they should rescue them soon.

“Right, yeah.” Jack nodded. “We’ll just... go with the plan. Move on Friday.”

Rama glanced at him as they put the car into gear. “Good. I-I don’t know if I could wait for much longer.”

“...after seeing that place? Me neither.” Jack’s voice was quiet. As they drove away, he looked into the rear view mirror, at the spot where the facility is, cloaking spell or no. “Hold on guys. We’re coming.”

———————

 wua? taAekie ? nAyro

Anti started , surprised to find he’d been dozing off. Not quite asleep, but not quite awake, either. “Fuck,” he whispered to himself. He was trying not to be as... low energy as he was last time he was in IRIS. But it was hard sometimes. These fucked up tests tired him out. Still, he made a note to do some exercise or something before he fell asleep again.

...

There was something next to his bed.

Not a person, but... vaguely person-shaped. Glowing white.

Anti didn’t understand what he was looking at. Well, he understood what it was—as said, glowing white person-shaped thing. But why was it here?

Oo.,p ohs

The person-shaped glow disappeared. Clearly, they didn’t mean to be visible.

“Whisper?” Anti asked, his voice barely above a whisper itself.

Yes.

Anti jumped slightly. That was very clear. And almost... familiar, in a way? Something about the voice... “What are you doing here?” he asked.

erfB dr yeao tomorrow ettrf ayedha.

“The day af—” Anti started to repeat that, but then snapped his mouth shut. IRIS was watching. The red dot on the camera was active. “What’s happening?”

e,rTu . escape oh ofesc

Anti nodded. Of course it was the escape. With Jack here, that made sense. So quickly, though... “Does it go... D-do you have a warning?”

Whisper was silent for a moment. Tngn'h.t..i wos, they said slowly. Tooegn 't ywh NYEIRELT to plan... 

His stomach dropped. That was never a good thing to hear. “Wh-what should I do?” he asked. “Is there anything I can do?”

n eoyaee pne K sJ.em t n newoedb gi'Ho too good.

“H-he won’t?” Anti breathed, worried. “What—what have these sicks fucks been doing to him?”

 otuw h shaeoctb,esnaj u Oft ttjtossoe foIh n Ssbihon. daeRe gnI

“What’s that supposed to mean?!” Not just because of IRIS? Was he going to get sick or something for some unrelated reason? Or... would it have to do with magic?

eaWpefh ehpepldt.ey,resrspuedeou yt u reladtnonsr rmr. Whisper sounded very serious. Protect the others.

“Huh?” Anti was confused, but he nodded slowly. “I... I will, I guess.”

oGd.o

And then... he could feel it. Whisper was gone.

[natsuki208]

I Wanted to be Beside You…

Before the Battle of Heaven and Earth commended, Marco and Jean have a bittersweet conversation while tending to their wounds.

(This is a re-upload of a fic I did on ao3 a year ago, to celebrate my 1000th post 🎉)

——————————————————————————

The sky is full of smoke and ashes, the sun is not shining as brightly as before all of this, and the only sound that can be heard is the distant footsteps of the rumbling titans. Thank god that the remaining members of the Scout Legion and the Marleyan warriors manage to set sail with the Flying Boat and make their way towards Eren Jaeger's destination; but at the price of suffering through yet another gruesome battle.

Everyone aboard are still cooling off from the said battle: Armin is still in bed regenerating from the gunshot he received from Samuel, with Mikasa and Sasha checking up on him, Reiner, Annie and Pieck are also resting from fighting in their titan forms for a while, and Hange aiding Onyankopon with preperations as of keeping and eye on an injured Levi. As well as most of them mourning over recently losing the Marleyan general.

Meanwhile, at the rear of the ship, Jean Kirstein has been dealing with some long bandages. He's been helping to aid the wounds of his long time friend, Marco. He took a pretty big blow to his leg by one of the Yaegerists, but got extremely lucky that it is still mobile and he's able to walk. Jean is being as careful as he can be to wrap it up nicely.

Marco hisses a little at the pain in his shin.

"Stay still. It'll only get worse if you move." The tone in Jean's voice is both stern yet concern; clearly he's trying his best not to hurt Marco.

Jean manages to wrap the bandage just right. Once that was settled, Marco rests his head back on the bars of the ship. The freckled man was already torn up on losing an eye and arm four years prior, so it's a relief to him that he's able to keep his leg. Jean starts cleaning up the things he emptied out of the first-aid kit, then he quickly looks over to his friend tending to his wound.

He looks very distress - and it's probably not just from the agonizing pain in his leg. His expression shows he is drifting off into his own world, curling up his legs towards his chest, and the saddening frown that he's had for a long while can make anyone sad along with him. Jean remembers this impression, it's similar to how he behaved when they had that campfire in the forest with the Marleyan warriors, so he can instantly tell what's on his mind.

After packing away the kit, he stands up over Marco and looks down on his disheartened friend.

"Can I sit here along with you?"

Marco catches ear of the question, but simply nods without looking up. Jean sits down a few inches away from him.

Neither of them say anything at first, just to have a minute to themselves as the ocean breeze flows through their hair. If only the situation they are in were different so it would allow them to enjoy the limited peace. On that thought alone, Marco finally speaks.

"T-Thank you for doing this for me."

Jean turns his head around to face Marco. "Of course, we're comrades. Well... base on that fact anyone could've helped, but you're glad that I did, right?"

"Y-Yeah."

The silence returns again. Only breaking with a sigh from Marco's breath.

"You really have changed a lot, haven't you?"

"Hmm? What do you mean?" Jean asks, glancing over and feeling disappointed to not see him smiling.

"Years ago, you mentioned time and time again... that someone like you could never be strong enough to act selflessly in battle.

Just as Jean expected; although a little surprising. This isn't like anything he would ever bring up before, further evidence that there's something bothering him. Then again, he's still right. Jean gives a smile while continuing to look upon his friend; maybe even shifting a bit closer to him.

"I seem to recall a way-too responsible guy once telling me that I can be a great leader but not because I'm strong, but that I understand the weak. Because I'm like everyone else, scared out of my mind, it makes me trustworthy among my comrades. It took me so damn long to realize that, and I owe that guy a lot."

Marco freezes. To hear those exact words he said to him repeated by Jean himself, like they are printed at the front of his mind, he doesn't know what to feel. It reflects back to what such a naïve and desperate boy he used to be - God, how could he have been like this?

Jean rubs the back of his neck while still smiling. "What I'm trying to say is... you're really the most selfless guy I've ever known. So we should all be thankful to you, especially me."

That's the last straw. Marco pulls in his legs further, slightly lowering his head to bury it in them. But he stops himself, takes a big breath which Jean catches on. What could possibly be bothering him now?

"Jean..." Marco starts, letting go of his legs with his one hand. "Do you remember when I first joined the Scouts? And that I told you, Reiner and Armin that I'm doing this 'cause it's better to fight, to protect my comrades and do what's right for humanity?"

"Yes. Of course I do." Jean nods positively.

Marco pauses before continuing. "Well... the truth is... that wasn't my main reason to."

The tone in his voice is quavering, sounding like he could burst into tears any minute.

"The reason why I joined them... it's b-because I wanted to be beside you!"

Jean's expression shows complete shock. He can see the tears in Marco's eye and blush spreading right across his face; he knows that he's telling the truth. They stare at each other for a second before Marco turns away and looks down onto the floor - presumably to hide his ashamed face. Jean can feel himself getting all achy inside, not from the fact that Marco 'lied' to him, but that every selfless move that he did for him ever since they met make SO much more sense now.

Surely Marco was nice to every one of his friends, but he seemed always confused of why him out of all of them, and why he always seemed hesitant whenever he talked or helped out Mikasa. Even after all of that, why is Marco getting so upset about it? Does he regret choosing him over some old dream? No, that can't be it, and Jean has to figure out why.

"I-I'm so sorry, Jean." Marco sobs between sentences. "All this time... *sniff* you think that I'm the most thoughtful person in our world. But all I ever did were ways just to get closer to you 'cause of these stupid feelings."

Jean starts to get infuriated the more Marco spouts out nonsense words and untrue statements.

"You probably only see me as your comrade... or best friend... but I had to let you know. *sniff* After lying to you, almost killing Reiner myself, and allowing myself to fall in for Floch's so called justice... I don't deserve to be seen in the good light. Or even your friend."

"YES YOU DO!!"

Before he knew it, Jean is suddenly right in front of him, grabbing onto his shoulders with such anger in his eyes. Marco hasn't seen Jean like this in a long time with just between the two of them, leaving him scared of what can possibly be said.

"Why the hell would you think such a stupid thing?! You're nowhere near the slightest of a shitty person and you know it!"

There is a pause.

"B-But... I'd..."

"You said it yourself, doing it for me was only part of the reason you're a scout now. How about when you aided Armin with most of his plans? You worrying about Eren when he was in Liberio? You even showed compassion for Gabi and Falco this morning before we left! How can you be so blind to your own actions?!"

Another pause occurs. Giving Jean time to calm his voice.

"You may not think it, but you're still the same Marco that we all came to admire. Surely your world view has changed, but hell, so have all of ours ever since we came here. We still got a great battle ahead of us, and we'll all be needing each other to finish it. We need to bring peace back into this world... and all of us need you to help us... I need you."

Marco doesn't say anything yet, just allowing another tear to fall down his cheek. Jean lets go of his grip on Marco and almost stands up to give Marco his space. But he quickly notices a light giggle come out of his mouth, he turns his head up and sees Marco gleefully staring right back at him, his eye full of serenity.

"Th-Thank you, Jean. I needed to hear that." He says dryly - his throat is still raspy from his crying.

"Yeah." Jean replies with a smile back.

It fades once he starts thinking again. He may never get a chance like this with Marco again 'if' they fail their mission, so why leave things the way they are now? The least he can do is give Marco once last bit of hope. He looks straight at Marco and this time, gently places one hand on his shoulder.

"Marco..."

He hesitates. Leaving Marco mentally preparing himself when he admits that he only sees him as a close friend and comrade.

"I... I gave up on Mikasa years ago."

One line that sets Marco stunned. More so than Jean's reaction when he confessed. Jean's face blushing pure red, even looking away in embarrassment. Marco is both deep down happy and surprised, surprised to realize that Jean has been basically doing the same thing as him, hiding away his true feelings. But he is really relieved and happy that they both manage to say what they want to say, especially right before what could be their last fight against their enemy.

Both men glance at each other for a moment longer, but before one of them can speak, another voice calls for them from the distance. Commander Hange is waving up from an open window in the ship, sounding like they've been calling out to them throughout their entire conversation.

"HEY! I DON'T MEAN TO INTERRUPT, BUT WE NEED YOU TO GET OUR GEAR RUNNING! WE'RE APPROACHING OUR DESTINATION ANY MINUTE, GOT THAT?!"

"Yes Commander! We're on it!" Jean yells back at them.

Marco stands up carefully, using his one arm and Jean walks over to their equipment just beside them then both slowly make their way across the deck. Marco doesn't take his eyes off of Jean. He doesn't notice, but he gives him a small yet gentle smile at him, one that he hopes to give him over and over again once the war is finally over.

[dandelion-wings]

Hi! For the Unusual Fic-Specific Asks for Authors, I'd like to ask two things about Broken Ground! First, perspective flip: I think you mentioned Lisa being more present at first and then cut out of the scene, so I'd like to know more about that :> How was it from her point of view? And also, time after time: when the group arrived back to Mondstadt after the ordeal, how did Lisa react?

Thank you for the ask! :>

I'm not entirely sure if you wanted Lisa's perspective on the scene that happened, or the one I cut, but I do love the one I cut even if it didn't serve the story, so I'm going to pull it out and POV-flip it up to the point when I realized I had to back up and do something different. >>

Lisa is still standing on the top of the Ordo steps when Barbara and Master Diluc come into view. Barbara she'd expected; Diluc she hadn't, not quite yet. She'd thought she would have to send Huffman, whom Kaeya has assured her is quite reliable when there's information he wants to distribute, to the Angel's Share to ostensibly roust out any off-duty knights who'd taken up drinking there. At which point Diluc would take off on his own initiative, with no idea of his course or what he might intend. This works out much better. "Lisa!" Barbara calls, rushing up the steps. "What happened? That cloud is from where my- where Master Jean went, isn't it?" "It does seem to be," Lisa says, patting Barbara gently on the shoulder. "We don't know for sure what's happened there just yet, but I'm trying to find out." "I take it this wasn't part of the plan." "Not at all," she tells Diluc. "This was only supposed to be a scouting mission. They must have found something very interesting indeed." She keeps her tone confident and unconcerned for Barbara's sake, hiding her own tension. The thought of Jean and Kaeya out there facing something that could have caused such tremendous chaos alone--or worse, having failed to face it, and lying injured somewhere--makes her chest ache with worry. A part of her wishes that she'd been there, though she knows there may not have been anything she could do. The best thing that she can do for them now, Lisa reminds herself, is to stay calm and in control and coordinate the emergency response. It's where her talents most lie. "Have you sent anyone to find out?" "Not yet. If it's something Jean and Kaeya can handle themselves, there's no rush, and if it's something that they can't, then there's no point in sending anything less than another captain to help them out. Noelle's gone up to Dragonspine to collect Captain Albedo, and I'm sure he'll set out as soon as she finds him." She's supposed to keep an eye out for Amber on her way, too; some advance scouting wouldn't go amiss in this situation. But she doesn't want to make Barbara any promises that she can't keep, and collecting Albedo is the higher priority. Amber is impressive for her age, but not nearly as strong, and incapable of dealing with the kind of earthquake or landslide that the evidence implies. "But...." Barbara blinks furiously, clearly fighting back tears, and shakes her head. She knows just as well as Lisa that Lisa is making the right choice for the situation, but Lisa can't blame her for her resistance. Behind her, Diluc is frowning. Lisa can see the wheels turning already, but a little nudge doesn't hurt. She deliberately gives him an arch smile. "You know, Master Diluc, I'm sure a former knight-captain would be just as capable as any of our current captains in an emergency."

...Which isn't the end of that conversation, but is the point where I realized I had to cut it, because I hit that line and realized that I wanted Diluc to have the agency of making that decision himself, but also (as I was writing it from his POV), he was coming to it too slowly to beat Lisa to the punch, because this would have been offering assistance directly to the Knights. So I cut out both problems by having Noelle summarize the situation, and making it a direct and immediate response to Barbara's desire to go herself.

As for Lisa's reaction when she returned, a combination of concern (because of the state they were both in--it didn't make it in, but I actually had it that Kaeya couldn't even take over for her for a couple of days because the Ordo has a policy re: concussions) and relief, because her friends were alive! She had to do the actual work of running the Ordo, and while both of its other top two members were out of commission to boot, so despite what she'd like to do (which was spoil them XD as well as Barbara and Noelle, who were both pretty bad off themselves after all that healing) she had to focus on doing three jobs solo for a while, which was probably even harder once news got about that Jean and Kaeya were both out of commission.

But once Kaeya recovered enough to take over, she unceremoniously took three day's leave and spent it sitting in the Cathedral infirmary drinking tea with Jean and Barbara (and keeping Noelle from working too hard by keeping her busy fetching and making tea for them), reassuring herself that everyone was all right! And sitting on the sisters just a little while she was at it. :3c

[rucow]

fíli is such an interesting character to me

hes young, but so mature and responsible for his age, he gives me the impression that he had to mature early and probably didn't have much of a childhood

kíli told tauriel that he was escorting caravans a while ago, probably before he had even come of age, and if kíli was working at such an early age then fíli definitely was too, because they weren't born in wealth and royalty like their status suggests, they're the first generation of dwarves that come after the loss of everything their parents and grandparents had. the life in ered luin was the only life they knew, and im sure fíli worked hard since an early age to do everything he could to help his mother and uncle

hes a prince and should technically have good people skills, but he comes across more awkward than his little brother in his interactions with the other characters (have you seen his gestures? he never knows what to do with his hands😭)

he's genuine and honest to a fault and it backfired when he begged alfrid and the master for help for kíli, because he told them his brother was sick when he could've said injured or hurt instead, and maybe, MAYBE he would've received help then (this was also a complete opposite to how thorin used his status to sway the people of laketown to his side *ahem*via manipulation*ahem*, fíli did no such thing although he could have)

fíli's speech about belonging with his brother. we don't get a straightforward reasoning behind why most of the dwarves really joined the quest, other than supporting thorin, but what im sensing here is that fíli came along first and foremost in order to protect kíli, idk maybe kíli really really wanted to go on their uncle's quest and experience the world and live through many adventures, and fíli of course would have followed kíli anywhere, because he's his younger sibling and it's his responsibility to see him safe and sound. im sure fíli promised dís he would protect kíli, and he hasn't failed that promise. he protected kíli till his last breath

and speaking of which, im sure fíli knew he was walking into a trap when thorin sent him to scout the ravenhill tower in botfa. i found it odd that even though thorin told them both not to engage, the moment they heard a sound inside kíli was ready to rush in and *engage*, and that was when fíli stopped him and turned him the other way, the opposite way from danger. kíli probably didn't want to let thorin down, especially after he felt that he already let him down in laketown

i could talk endlessly about what a good and caring leader fíli would have made, with the way hes so protective not only of kili but of everyone else as well. when the orcs attacked them in laketown, he urged bard to take his children and go to safety, even though fíli was defenseless himself. then when bard was out of the picture fíli practically adopted his kids and did everything he could to keep them safe, without being asked to or anything, it just came naturally to him. we also see him wordlessly helping the other dwarves throughout the movies, such as when he was helping bombur up after the stone giants battle, idk it's a nice detail

rewatching the ramparts scene where thorin specifically tries to force fíli to kill bilbo, because fíli is his heir and must follow in his dragonsick footsteps no matter what, really hurts me the most i think. how fíli had to break from thorin's grasp when he ordered him a 2nd time to throw bilbo from the ramparts, and fíli's "no" when thorin tries to do it himself

during that scene we see fíli not taking his eyes off thorin at all. he gently pushes bilbo away from thorin and into bofur's arms all the while keeping his eyes on thorin, just in case. its such a small detail but it speaks so much of just how much of a protector fíli is, and i can't wrap my head around how young he was during all this

[idemida]

The Commander’s Darling | Chapter 6

Reposted from AO3

~ Summary:  

You are a poor young woman working in a tavern around some sketchy people and Erwin gets you out of a bad situation. He is immediately drawn to you and has to have you around, so he comes up with an excuse that he needs a secretary. Of course you say yes! After all, you need the job and shelter, and he is the only man you have felt you can trust in a long time.

You fall in love and lust for each other, but who knows who will give in first.

This is going to be more of a slow-burn, with little connection to the actual plot of the series, although it does take place in-universe. Some characters will be used for plot-points very different from the actual series.

~ Word Count: 4,300

~ Pairing: Erwin Smith x Reader 

~ Tags: slowburn; loveatfirstsight; lustatfirstsight; jealousy; pining

Erwin and you walked back into the Scouts’ headquarters through the main gate. You did not dare to address him, until he spoke to you first. Your head was reeling with the tension from the recent events. As you entered the building, away from the eyes of the people on the square you started going through your pockets to see if the officer missed the gun somehow or if you had lost it. There were no holes in your coat, at least not big enough for it to fall out and you never really took it out of the pocket, so it was impossible that it was lost somewhere in your room. You knew you will not find it there and part of you was sure you knew who had it, or rather, who had taken it. Your suspicion was that Hange had seen it and decided of her own discretion to confiscate it. If that was the case, you were done for. You were not close enough to expect her to have your back and she was audacious enough to go through your coat when you were away.

As you walked through the halls, you realised he was leading you to his office. You followed him obediently, and he changed directions without saying a word. You felt tense, but he hadn’t exactly given you reason to. When you looked at him, he looked completely neutral. As you saw the door of his office in the distance, you also saw Hange, waiting in front of it. She was about to report you to him? As you both approached her, you noticed she seemed startled by your tense appearance.

‘Erwin, can I talk to you for a moment?’ She asked, and there was such a difference between her usual giddy tone and this grave voice she was using now

‘I won’t be free for a while, Hange.’ He reached for the handle and her hand twitched as if to stop him ‘What is it?’

‘I really need to discuss something with you. Urgently.’ She insisted, her voice low, even if you were right there and able to hear her

He turned towards you. He nodded away from the door, inviting you to move away. You both took some steps away from Hange and he whispered in your ear:

‘Go to your room and search for it. I’ll come get you soon.’

The next half hour was the most anxiety-ridden time you had been through. It was far worse than being injured. At least with the injury you could find some comfort in the fact that if you were to die, it would all be over. Now, if you were caught, you might get fired, imprisoned or punished some other way. You would have no job and die on the street. You would never see Erwin again.

If Hange was in there with him now, she was probably going to give the gun to him, so there was no way for you to lie. What if he was the one who went through your things? Maybe he had a second key to your room? Maybe he knew all along? You would just have to be honest with him and beg.

The gun was nowhere to be found, as expected. You went through the pile of books to see if she had actually taken one of them as she said she would. She hadn’t. So it was her. You had only known her for two weeks, how could you be so naïve and trust her for everything so easily. You grabbed your face in fear at the consequences, still beating yourself up for not being more careful. Then, as you sat down on the bed and looked at your skirt with the shirt tucked in, you remembered it was her shirt you were wearing. You immediately started unbuttoning it and taking it off.

Then someone knocked on the door and opened it just a bit, until you shouted their way.

‘No! No! Wait.’

‘Y/n, there’s no point delaying this.’ He said through the door

‘Just wait.’ You looked around for your sweater and put it on ‘You can come in now.’

He opened the door, confused.

‘What were you doing?’ He looked you up and down until he saw the sweater

‘I had to change.’ You nodded towards the shirt you had thrown onto your bed, but he obviously did not understand why

‘Come with me to my office.’

As you walked in you realised it will be just the two of you since Hange was gone. Erwin took his seat behind the desk and you cautiously walked towards the chair opposite. There were two windows behind him, but because it was so early in the day, the light had flooded the room and you could still see him clearly.

‘Sit down.’ His voice was so serious that you complied without being able to look him in the face ‘Did you find the gun?’ He asked you

‘No.’ You looked at your lap and felt a twitch in your lips, almost a desire to smile because of how ridiculous the question was ‘I assume that youdid.’

‘Y/n, considering the circumstances, I will obviously have to interrogate you.’

You kept on looking down.

‘You’re going to have to look me in the eyes as I am asking you what I need to ask.’

Your eyes lifted towards him and he saw the tears in them, but he looked back at you neutrally.

‘Did you really steal the gun from your previous boss?’

You nodded.

‘How? You were injured.’

‘I convinced Jan to give it to me to protect myself from you guys, just in case you turned out to be bad people.’

He did not react to that, instead he looked down momentarily.

‘And why did you take it? You were afraid of us?’

You decided to omit the distrust you felt towards them at first because you did not want to offend him.

‘As soon as you offered me a free visit to your doctor, I knew I’ll use this as my opportunity to run away.’ You spoke plainly ‘I never thought you would hire me or give me shelter. I thought I’d be on the street and I thought the gun might help me defend myself if I need to.’

‘That’s a big risk to take.’

‘I could not stay there anymore.’

‘I know. That’s why I was compassionate and kept you here.’ You felt such shame in your chest as he said that ‘Some would say that my compassion would be my undoing…’ He turned to the side and took something out of a drawer from behind the desk ‘I had no idea, and this was not obvious to us at the time…’ He put a big beige envelope on the desk, with something bulging inside. You just knew the gun was in there. ‘But the guns at Jan’s place carry a mark, that can be linked to Kenny Ackermann and his squad.’ He took the gun out and pointed at some scratches on the metal that were always insignificant to you ‘Did you know this?’

You were not sure if you could reply without your voice shaking.

‘Commander Smith,’ You whispered because you did not have the confidence to speak louder ‘I had no idea.’

‘Is it possible that Jan has connections to him?’

‘Anything is possible, but I don’t, I swear.’ You clasped your hands together to soothe yourself ‘I have never heard that man mentioned at the tavern. I have never seen him. That I know of. I told you already. It’s very likely even Jan did not know about the connection between the guns and that man.’ Your desire to cry was so palpable now that it was difficult for him to look you in the eyes

He cleared his throat and got back into his professional persona.

‘Kenny Ackermann is a force that works against me and the entire Survey Corps. He has set himself a goal to kill me and Levi. It is very convenient, that a woman enters my life, carrying a gun branded with his symbol.’

Your eyes widened.

‘I did not enter your life. You invited me in.’

There was a silence that you could not interpret. He could not deny that this was no true interrogation on his part. He asked each question, fervently hoping you will give an answer that is not suspicious. The thought you might be a traitor would destroy him because he was so invested in the sweetness he projected onto you.

You were right, and it was so embarrassing. He had invited you in because he let his feelings and lust cloud his judgment. He could not entirely say he regretted it. Since you were hired you ended the monotony that invaded his life. Going for each meal was exciting, seeing your expressions at the table, then thinking about it afterwards, wondering if you would look at him and smile the next day. There was also a part of him that regretted it because dating an employee is against the rules, so he had barred himself from consummating his feelings. If he used this as an excuse to fire you, perhaps, he could date you.

‘What did Jan say to you when he gave you the gun?’

‘Keep the safety on while it’s in your pocket.’

He raised his eyebrows quickly and you realised he was holding in the urge to laugh.

‘Is it possible it was something else?’

‘Like what?’

‘Use this gun to kill Erwin Smith when he lowers his guard.’

You scoffed. This time the anger took over your anxiety and it helped you express yourself louder.

‘Why would he send jealous letters and be upset that I have replaced him with you?’

‘Because maybe he kept an eye on you and realised you decided not to go through with it.’

‘This is ridiculous.’ You shook your head ‘It’s paranoid. Did you really think of it yourself?’

‘Excuse me?’

‘Did Hange put this idea in your head?’ As you saw the confusion in his face you continued ‘She is the only one who wasn’t there that night, so she doesn’t know how I feel about him. She doesn’t know the place I left or the situation. She didn’t see it with her eyes and if she did,’ The anger was turning into sadness ‘She would know I was never loyal enough to Jan to kill for him, especially the one person who was helping me in my time of need.’

He kept quiet.

‘You were there,’ You said with disdain ‘It’s a shame I have to remind you.’

Then you placed your palms flat on the desk and looked at him dead in the eyes, taking a pause as you gulped the lump in your throat. He perked up at the sudden pause because you looked so vulnerable.

‘Erwin…’ You said ‘Fire me, if you must, but don’t report me to the military police. Please. Please.’ You started crying at that point

You held your eyes with one of your hands, trying to hide your tears. As you wiped them away and looked at him again, you noticed he was looking at the hand that remained on the desk. His hand twitched as if he was about to take it, but you did not notice.

‘You know I won’t report you.’ He said and you shook your head ‘But you will not get it back.’

‘What will happen to it?’

‘That is not your concern.’ He said sternly

‘Are you going to fire me?’

‘No.’

Then there was a pause again. You gave a slight smile of recognition and nodded. You almost wanted to cry in relief, but didn’t want to embarrass yourself further.

‘Well, what did you have planned for me for the rest of the day?’

He looked down at the hand on the desk again.

‘We should go get breakfast as planned.’ He pushed back his chair and stood up

You walked through the square, making small talk once again. It seemed strange, he wasn’t saying much of substance, but his mood seemed lifted. It was different from the first time you walked in this direction that day and especially different from who he was during the interrogation. The first time was so stiff, but now he seemed to look you in the eyes freely and smile. You finally reached your destination, a place that you could almost describe as ‘quaint’. It was charming in a way a grandmother’s old house might be. You walked in and joined the short queue. There were four to five people in front of you, but there was no rush and the shopkeepers and the customers seemed unusually calm. There were quite a few empty tables both inside and outside. It seemed it was the sort of place people would go to relax rather than pick up a quick meal and go, but then again, it was way before lunchtime. Now that you started to think about it, if it was that busy in the slower hours, it must get crazy around lunch and you would have to come earlier to pick up Erwin’s lunch to avoid a bigger queue when he does ask you to come here again.

‘Usually, I like the one with the beef and rocket. This is the one I would be sending you to get if I do send you here.’ He gestured towards the sandwich display and you saw the one he meant. It looked really filling, you had to admit. The bread was seeded, the meat was layered on thick and it seemed like they had added some special type of sauce ‘The sauce is definitely the best part. I would recommend it to you.’

At that, you pursed your lips in a smile. 

‘It’s pretty much a steak in bread.’ You said ‘I don’t think I’m the type of person that would have steak for breakfast. I would definitely like to try it for lunch though.’ You looked around ‘At some point.’

He was right that they had great lunch options. There were all kinds of cheeses, leafy vegetables, different types of bread, sauces, flavoured butter, creams, you even saw smoked fish. It was so rare to eat fish where you were from. 

You made your choice and he treated you. The cashier passed you your sandwich in a paper pocket. Something you noticed was that the cashiers did not really pay him any special regard, so he either did not come often or he was not friendly enough for them to chat with him. As you moved away from the till you found a nice free table next to the window. 

‘Thank you for the lunch.’ You said ‘I’m shocked that this is happening to be honest. I thought I would be fired and well, you know…’

‘It’s alright.’ He smiled and started unfolding the sides of the paper to bite into his food

‘Are the others suspicious of me now?’

‘Who knows?’ He said ‘Why are you assuming they all know?’ 

You rolled your eyes and he laughed. The sound of his laugh shocked you. You weren’t expecting him to be so familiar with you so soon.

‘Y/n, they’re going to be fine. As you said, Hange was the only one who had not seen your situation.’ 

‘Levi already hates me.’

His eyes widened and he laughed again.

‘Levi practically loves you. If he hated you he would not even acknowledge you.’ When he saw the doubt in your face he continued ‘He is curt with everyone. Even me.’

You ate your food in silence for a while, until you noticed he was about to ask you a question. His expression seemed so grave it worried you.

‘You know, I never interviewed you for the role. Maybe I should do that now.’

‘What?’ You looked up in terror, almost choking on your bite. His lips had lifted in a slight smirk, but nothing too arrogant. Surely he was joking.

‘What do you think is outside the walls?’

Your eyes remained wide. Was this some kind of philosophical question? Or did he want an account of the little you had read in the papers and heard from gossip? The outside world was horrific, as far as you had heard. It was full of danger that an ordinary human like you could not overcome. However, you actually knew nothing about its appearance. You were not sure if it’s a wasteland or grassy, if it had trees, or if it resembled the nature within the walls at all. It was possible it looked like nothing you’ve ever seen.

‘The only thing I’m sure about is the titans.’ You tried to keep the answer safe. You didn’t want to embarrass yourself by fantasising about what it might look like. He smiled gently at your answer and then continued.

‘What else? Do you think there is nothing apart from titans?’

‘Have you found other things?’

‘You tell me what you think.’

‘I think there could be other walled humans like us that we don’t know about. Too far for you to reach them on your expeditions.’

His eyebrows twitched in surprise.

‘You think so?’

‘Maybe it’s dumb.’ You shrugged and bit into your sandwich

‘Have you ever seen a titan?’ He asked and you shook your head as you were chewing

‘They look pretty much human.’ He explained and you suddenly stopped eating ‘They’re giant men. We have never seen a female titan.’

Suddenly, your eyebrows came up so high, he became really curious about your response. You started smiling and had to hide your smile because you weren’t finished with your bite.

‘Hange is such a pervert. She told me she finds them fascinating and can spend all day thinking about them. Now I can see why.’

He began laughing. The most true, roaring laughter you had ever heard from him. Some people at the bakery actually turned around to look and there was a part of you that felt so accomplished that you had managed to get such a reaction out of him. His face flushed red from it all.

‘They don’t have human reproductive parts though. I don’t think she’s that perverted.’

‘Hange is shameless.’ You shrugged, pursing your lips. Not only in that regard, you thought. She had gone through your things, after all.

‘Y/n!’ He scolded you through the laugher that remained and you relented

‘What do you think about that? That they’re all male.’

‘Whoever made them, obviously decided they only want to make male ones.’ You continued eating

‘You think they’re made?’ 

‘I think it’s possible.’ You said ‘I mean I am just making this stuff up. Of course, you know better than me.’

‘I don’t.’ He said and you looked up at him in shock ‘The outside world is the biggest mystery for me. With all the access to information from previous commanders and my own findings, I have not gotten close to understanding it.’

Upon learning that, you didn’t want to upset him by asking him if he really thinks it’s worth it. You were on thin ice, so you decided to pause that thought for now.

‘What does the outside world look like?’ You asked

‘It has the same flora and fauna as the world within the walls. The same grass and trees. Of course, most of it is unexplored, so it’s possible we simply have not seen things that are new to us.’

‘There really is no difference?’

‘No.’

‘Have you eaten ‘outside world’ food?’

‘No.’

‘Good. Maybe it’s poisonous.’ You said and when you saw his confusion you decided to clarify ‘Maybe it’s not suitable for us.’

‘Interesting.’ 

You shrugged.

‘You could definitely work in Hange’s department for the brainstorming activities. You have the open-mindedness for it.’

Your face stiffened at that.

‘You’re just trying to push us together again.’ You said coldly ‘She was being fake to me this entire time. She wouldn’t trust me for anything.’

‘That’s not true. I’m sure you two will be friends again.’

‘We only knew each other for two weeks. We weren’t friends.’ Your irritation started bubbling up, but you had decided to stop speaking too late. You knew what you said reflected badly on you. After all, you did appear incredibly suspicious for having that gun, and it was not out of question that you could have connections to that Kenny guy since the tavern was apparently within the area he frequents.

‘Hange is a lovely person.’ Erwin said ‘I can assure you she was not being fake to you. She just had some suspicions about you because of how fast I hired you and the place you came from.’

You nodded to appease him.

‘Tell you what, are you interested in seeing the outside world?’

‘Absolutely not.’ You laughed. Just the thought caused your heart to race. 

‘Y/n, I don’t mean go out. I mean climb up on the walls.’

‘Ooh.’ A spark appeared in your eyes ‘I’ve always wanted that.’ You chuckled in slight embarrassment ‘But why are you asking about that now?’

‘Me and Hange can take you up the wall.’ He said ‘It would be a good way to get you two talking again. She will talk your ear off.’

‘If my boss thinks that’s for the best, then what can I say.’ You shrugged with a slight smirk ‘But you better not leave me alone with her.’

‘I won’t.’ He said this so firmly it made you pause. You looked up at him in momentary confusion. For a second he thought he had revealed his true intentions, which were to spend as much time outside the office with you as possible. However, when you gave him a sweet smile, he breathed a sigh of relief.

For the rest of the day you were allowed to go stay in your office, and you did not join the others for lunch or dinner. Erwin allowed you the choice and you decided you could not face the others right now. He brought you your lunch and dinner to your office. All of his kind gestures that day sparked an intense desire to prove yourself to him, so you kept on asking him for more tasks. In the end, you did more work that day than for the whole of the past two weeks. You even worked after dinner. Around nine o’clock a surprise visitor knocked on the frame of the open door of your office.

‘Y/n, can we talk?’ Hange said solemnly

‘Yes.’ 

Realistically, you had no choice but to forgive her.

‘I came here to apologise.’ 

‘For what?’

‘For suspecting you. I have spoken to the others and they told me the suspicions were ridiculous. It’s just that something did not sit right with me. I felt like I had to find out more, and when I found the gun… I freaked out.’ 

You kept quiet for a while and even looked away.

‘I forgive you.’ You said unconvincingly

The issue with Hange was not so much that she suspected you. Perhaps she was right to do so, but to go through your things, to bring you tea as a distraction… That was too much.

‘When did you find out I had the gun?’

‘Yesterday.’

‘So the tea was just a ploy to get to the gun again?’

Hange kept quiet.

‘Silly me. I thought you actually wanted to have tea with me.’ You said it so sternly you could actually see the pain in her gaze

‘I want to.’ She said ‘All of those moments of friendship we shared were true.’ She stepped closer to you and you stiffened 

Perhaps, you would just take this as a learning opportunity. Levi was right that it was too soon to give a review. Now you see the kind of person she is and you would be more cautious. There’s no need to continue some overt conflict with her and scowl.

‘Erwin vouched for this. He said I can trust that you weren’t being fake to me. I know I can trust his word.’ 

Hange looked down in shame. Then she fidgeted for a few moments and finally got the bravery to approach you and even take your hand.

‘I believe you and I will be good friends in the future.’

You nodded automatically, but you were dumbfounded at her confidence. She was about to go on an expedition in the outside world and yet she seemed certain she would come back.

‘I will leave you now. But please, join us for lunch tomorrow.’ She said and she left

You decided to go on a walk outside to clear your mind. As you reached the staircase at the edge of the male quarters, you noticed a silhouette sat at the bottom few steps. As you approached, the silhouette seemed to perk up, like it recognised you. It was a tall man, so for a moment you thought it might be Erwin, but it was unlikely the commander would be there and especially sat in this way. You soon realised it is Miche. 

‘Y/n. How are you doing?’ He smiled 

‘I’m better. Thanks.’ 

‘Yeah. Me too.’ He said and when he saw the confusion that emanated from your face he continued ‘Erwin changed the expedition route. We’re going to focus on going to familiar places and consolidate routes instead of establishing new ones.’

You weren’t entirely sure why that was better, so you simply nodded along. However, you obviously had not done enough to convince him you had understood.

‘Less chance of dying.’ He explained and it was almost as if he gave you a nod of gratitude

[skekilla]

just some sketches i had done on paper and which are now here on digital for my au! from top right, to left, then down again and again:

first drawing i had done of minnie!

first one of oswald as well! you’ll see he has a camera here. like ive said before, oswald is really out here trying to escape toontown. part of that is gathering evidence and scouting pictures as logistics for his plans! also, being technologically minded, hes certainly made really really cool cameras and gadgets that can do all sorts of things to help him out!

just a little redraw of funny from the new mickey mouse cartoons i think its silly. btw! in this au mickey and minnie are fully married and in love as usual. they did get married as part of a publicity stunt at the opening of toontown but,,, they would have anyway hehe

anyway mickey and oswald, as usual, have a strained relationship! they dont really get each other, and that makes mickey feel awkward and oswald feel frustrated. mickey will just generally try to avoid him (not out of malice of course! just to avoid ticking his brother off), and oswald likes to gripe about mickey behind his back (usually to pete. we’ll get to pete later). in the end, though, they do care a lot about each other (only OSWALD can make fun of mickey!! he’ll fight anyone else who does). anyway, heres mickey laughing at something oswald said, which wasnt actually a joke!

another thing from the new cartoons that i thought was funny. mickey gets injured pretty often because of the shenanigans that go down in toontown! but the good thing is toons cant die by any means other than being forgotten. it still hurts tho ;(

now heres the miserable thing! when oswald was supposed to be returning to disney in 2006 (btw toontown was opened in 2000! so mickey and everyone else had already been living there for a while and begun to experience the scariness of the place), mickey and he met for the first time in a while, and all was swell. however, mickey knew from the start the danger poor oswald was falling in. he couldnt find a chance to warn him though, until he noticed oswald moving in to his new house, at which point he ran in and basically begged oswald not to stay there, not to let disney take him back. of course, though, it was too late :))) still, though, oswald promises mickey he’ll find a way out. so thats these two images hehe

ever since i first saw that oswald can do funny stuff with his ears i knew his main weapon would be taking one off and using it as a baseball bat! oswald does a lot of fighting in this au but ill get to that hehe

[absolute-filth-factory]

I was already excited for the 23-24 season for the hawks and all of the new prospects coming up through the system, but the new every shift episode just made me more excited. I was originally kind of skeptical about the whole "taking dev camp off-ice" thing, but now I'm really glad they did it, for a lot of reasons.

Management actually gives a shit about the players!! I know that's like, basic human curtesy, but knowing a huge reason that Kyle Beach went through what he did was because management did not give a single shit about the players and only cared about the cup, it's a huge relief to see Davidson and Richardson being really supportive of the players and making decisions based on what's best for them, not just the hawks overall.

A big purpose of this camp was to allow the prospects to develop off-ice and get to see the city that they're (probably) going to be playing in within a couple years. I mean, they went to a Cubs game, took a boat tour on the Chicago river, took a cooking class, played floor hockey with a local boys and girls club, went to Second City (comedy club), and probably some other stuff I'm forgetting. Management isn't hanging them out to dry in that respect, and I am very glad for that.

Player interactions!! The episode was great in that it showed off so much personality, and it didn't just focus on the first-round draft picks, although of course they did get a bit more attention. We got to see a ton of different players doing things and interacting with one another, and it seems like the goal of team bonding was achieved. As Nazar said in the episode, you've got guys from America, Canada, overseas, and it's good that they're able to talk to each other and develop the kind of relationships and camaraderie that's necessary for a winning team (and also just really fun to watch). Sure, some of the players might have been up against each other in their league or in a tournament or maybe have been on the same team, but that's not really conducive to building team chemistry anyways.

Another two big reasons why they took the camp off-ice this year was to avoid causing or exacerbating injuries and to remove the stress of trying to perform well in a short period of time in front of management. I mean, these guys have already been playing hockey for a really long time, and scouts have already been watching and evaluating them, so why have them play high-stress, mostly meaningless hockey and put them at risk of somehow getting injured or making something worse. Yeah, you probably don't run into that many new injuries at dev camp (except for that kid up in Toronto who got a concussion the other day), but if players are trying to prove something to management, they're gonna be a lot more likely to play through something they should probably be leaving alone. It just seems like a better solution to me, and they're still going to be getting ice time in training camp in September.

Even though the camp was off-ice, the players were still doing a ton of conditioning. They boxed, did regular weight room stuff, probably some other things, and they took a class with Oduya on breathing techniques that can be used in a number of different ways. Richardson was directly involved in the boxing, too, which is great for a number of reasons, especially to help player-coach interactions.

Davidson seems to have a huge focus on culture and character, both in determining who he picks and how the players are expected to conduct themselves. There was a session on inclusion, from what I remember, and at the end of the episode, Davidson specifically brings up Moore talking about how the way Bedard carries himself has already affected him and the way he does things. That kind of thing is huge on any team, but I think it really shows that the hawks under Davidson are trying to create a good environment to play hockey and just be a team in, and it makes me really excited for the future of this team.

[theprincessandherloyalprotector]

Six years after the fall of the Republic, the fall of his clone brothers, and the capture of his brother. Six years, and Hunter is just now starting to get pissed enough to do something about it.

Cody and Crosshair have been in there far too long. And now that he’s working with Ahsoka and the Rebellion, now that the entire group has grown stronger, it’s time to fight back. To use all the resources necessary to attack the Empire head on.

It starts with something simple, like a protest at an Imperial rally. Something to catch the Empire’s attention- but it doesn’t work. Vader is used to people getting mouthy.

So, the Rebels turn to Imperial scout groups. Men come back injured, some of them dead. Still not much of an irritation for Vader.

Then Ahsoka had the bright idea to attack actual Imperial bases, sending groups of bombers to several different locations.

When Vader gets word that a few of his bases have been completely destroyed, everyone in them murdered by the Rebellion, he starts to get furious. He sends Cody and Crosshair on a scouting mission of their own to figure out who exactly is behind it, turning the entire living room upside down when he hears it’s his long lost padawan.

“Of course it is. Of course it would be her after all I did for her.” He rambled. And after those ramblings came several counter attacks to Rebel bases, though he didn’t do as much damage as Ahsoka had.

The final step of Hunter’s plan, months in the making, is to infiltrate the palace itself.

He can’t sit by and watch Cody and Crosshair be used as pawns in Vader’s game anymore. They’re haunted- they have to be. Haunted by what they must do day in and day out, controlled by the chip and the Sith Lord himself. It sickens him. Sickens him to his very core.

One morning, when he’s certain that every single one of you is in the palace, he launches his attack. Not only does he have his other batch members with him, but he also has Rex, Ahsoka, and a small group of Rebel fighters brave enough to help them.

Several fighter pilots also circle the palace from above, which is the first thing to set off the alarms. In response, Cody sends out the same amount of TIE fighters, confident in their abilities to eliminate the X-Wings circling.

With that distraction comes stage two of Hunter’s plan- a large explosion on the east side of the palace that rocks the building, pulling most of the forces that direction as he enters with Ahsoka through the maintenance tunnels on the West side of the building.

Crosshair and Cody just so happen to go that way, knowing very easily that could’ve been a distraction. There’s a gaping hole in the palace but that won’t matter if someone is already inside.

When they split up to go down separate hallways, Crosshair rounds a corner just in time to see Hunter leap down from the vent above.

Every muscle in his body freezes, every hair rising at the sight of his brother.

The brother who left him. The brother who looked him in his pained, desperate eyes as he fought that chip and still flew off with that wretched excuse for a child. He chose a kid, over his own brother.

“Cross,” Hunter breathes, slowly taking a step forward. “Come- come with me. It’s okay. It’s Hunter. ‘M here to take you-”

“Don’t patronize me,” Cross rasps back, nose wrinkling in disgust. “Did you finally decide I was good enough to be let back into your little group?”

Your, because it was once his too, until every last one of them abandoned him.

In the other hallway, Cody finds himself hurled into an all out brawl with the rebel group that Rex happened to lead inside the palace. Blasters are fun, but Cody prefers his fists when it comes to these bastards. Especially the bastard that wrote him off as the Empire’s little bitch, believed the excuse that he was dead and then never looked for him.

With all the Rebels already taken care of, Cody and Rex fight with all the fury they have, punching and kicking and elbowing each other harder than they ever did before.

Vader checks the security cameras, looking up at you quickly with a shake of his head. “It’s them. All of them.”

He turns his datapad to show you. “The batch is handling our soldiers at the explosion site. Cody is with Rex in hallway C3. D3, Cross and Hunter. I-”

He pauses as a lightsaber activation comes through the surveillance mics, his jaw clenching at the sight of Ahsoka now standing behind Hunter.

“She won’t let Crosshair live.” He says quietly, that familiar fury building again. “I’m sending Aurra and Jaspar over here to stay with you and the kids and I’m going to that fucking hallway.”

[sylvaridreams]

(Above was I'm regards to me saying that I wanted Alba to have the loving support of a caring "battle partner", basically.)

Oh well since you do insist.

Alba romantic relationships explanation post THIS WILL GET KINDA LONG AND BARELY COVERS ANYTHING FYI! I GAVE UP!!!! 👏👏👏 REAL WINNERS QUIT

Trahearne was his first love. Started out as something of a mentor figure early on when Alba was a young valiant, and then of course they formed the Pact together, cleansed and took back Orr side by side... things moved quickly but it never felt too fast; this was literally the most "right" anything has ever felt for Alba. Their developing feelings were mutual and affectionate, both of them shy and afraid of ruining what they had by trying to progress towards anything else. At the cleansing of Orr, Alba made the first move and from there they were able to discuss a lot about what they both wanted. They had every intention of spending both their lives side by side. Naturally, Mordremoth destroyed this for them; more on that shortly.

While scouting the Silverwastes and meeting up with Caithe's recon team, Alba was grievously injured and left behind by the chopper near the Vinewrath. Canach stayed behind with him and kept him alive on a cliff for a week. At the time they despised one another, there was little more than begrudging mutual respect between them, and animosity layered thickly over that. But surviving together changed things. They got to know one another better; Alba was near death, they both knew he was not going to make it. "I'm going go die, aren't I." "You are, yes." Not an easy thing to hear. Coming to terms with a sudden burst of his own mortality and accepting that he'd never again see so many people he cared about. He was also incredibly unwell, sick with infection and relying heavily on Canach to take care of him. It was something like being the last two people in the world. Things didn't progress far... and they kept quietly away from one another as Alba later recovered at the Pact camp.

Until the breach of Maguuma and downing of the Pact fleet. Alba knew Trahearne was alive *somewhere* but was fully unable to sense him anywhere. (Sylvari headcanon about the dream, yada yada.) No one knew how to approach him. It was a somewhat well known fact that he and Trahearne were a couple. Approaching the Commander to ask if he was OK with his lover being lost in Mordrem territory was awkward at best. Canach watched from the shadows at first, then moved forward with trying to comfort Alba, who was painfully aware that this did not come naturally to Canach and was not comfortable for him. Too much baggage of his own. It's the kind of thing he had to accept quickly before moving forward; that Canach had his own pain in his past, but would be there for him to a certain line; past that point he was on his own. They moved forward together but with one additional stipulation from Alba that no one know. At the time, mostly out of shame and a sense that he was betraying Trahearne. Later, out of a (not entirely misplaced) fear that anyone too close to him would be a target.

Progressing through Mordrem territory, Alba repeatedly heard the dragon's voice inside his head. This was technically his second experience with dragon corruption, though he never recognized Zhaitan attempting to sink its claws into his mind. Mordremoth was loud, though. Aggressive. It was frightening. Traveling into the dragon's domain with Canach, Mordremoth screaming into his mind, Alba briefly lost control and attack Canach, pinning him to the jungle floor to kill him, snarling at him in a voice not quite his own. Canach managed to wrestle an arm free to hit him upside the head and get him back in control of himself. (I do want to talk about this a lot more BTW. Alba's loss of control to dragons.)

And then obviously he had to kill Trahearne himself. And he had to do it alone, without help or support or anyone to turn to. I've discussed that afterwards Alba spiraled into a deep and visible depression; a lot of his foliage wilted and fell off, he grew some scraggly branches in its place and lost a lot of color, his glow faded. Again, nobody knew how to approach this and it was passed off to Canach as The Other Sylvari, who was (despite being over That Line and past That Limit,) trying to be present and help Alba mourn and heal. Despite it all.

He does love Alba. I don't want to give the impression that he doesn't or that he doesn't care. The traumatic experiences he faced as a sapling have made it difficult to face a lot of things in life, and he has to have boundaries and strict limits to feel safe. Alba knows this. He knows that if Canach gets too uncomfortable with a situation he will leave it like an angry cat. He also knows Canach will push his own limits consistently and put himself in bad positions specifically for him. This is a mutual loving relationship, it's just also so difficult for them both.

In soooome ways.... Alba does have the "battle couple" support from Trahearne pre HoT, and then from Canach to an extent... But he's also so alone in a lot of what he does. Currently, as of the end of PoF and through post EoD, he and Canach have an agreement in place that was mutually agreed upon to try to keep them both happy and taken care of while Canach explores his freedom and the world, and Alba does Commander shit. A sort of don't ask, don't tell policy between them--they're both free to comfortably take on another partner or partners, and there's no need to be hurt by it or feel jealous because both have the same freedom and will never hear about it from the other. However. Folds my hands politely. Alba was for it in concept but hates the idea now that it's in practice and they're mostly always apart. He's so alone. He knows Canach is probably with Sayida the sly somewhere, and maybe he's dating her or someone else and maybe he's happier and maybe he won't ever come back.

Truthfully Canach is not employing this at all. He's focusing on other exploits and Alba is making himself miserable for no reason and refusing to communicate. His failure to communicate is a reoccurring thing if you can't tell. Fatal flaw.

Good fucking heavens this post is a mile long and i haven't got back to Trahearne or anyone else. Help..... OK I guess I'll have to wrap it up with Just this I can't possibly cram everything into one post lol. Oops. Hubris.

Anyway basically the bottom line is. He has and had someone who will take care of him when he's hurting.... when they can/could. But he bears so many burdens and such a weight on his shoulders and Trahearne is gone (for now) and Canach is "gone" (for now) and he doesn't feel like there's anyone in the world who can or will help him carry what he has to. He's lonely. And he's silent about it because it doesn't make sense to him to communicate that he's in need. So he comes out of things beat to hell and hurting and feeling hopeless and goes to tend his own wounds and try to reassure himself that he's fine handling it alone. That the burden isn't heavy and that it doesn't hurt to bear. He's miserable and if he were to reach out and ask for help and comfort he would find it, but he doesn't ask, and people keep looking past him because they think he's already got it handled. He doesn't. 🧍‍♂️

Like he Kind Of has it but also not really. I want to ramble about his relationships sometime. Because he has support but also he is so lacking in exactly that.

[evil8keta]

sorry, this is pretty short. my brain is tired and i wanted to write something silly but all i can think of is violence

mercs x reader who wants to fight them... like, for fun

SCOUT

- you asked him if he wants to play fight with you and he immediately agreed. he's often done this with his brothers but with you he might actually go feral and accidentally kill you or something. jk but you can tell he's really having fun lol

SOLDIER

- doesn't understand. what do you mean PLAY fighting? you don't play when you fight, it's a serious thing!!! you gotta explain to him by saying that you basically go nice on your opponent. so you guys do fight and actually have a wonderful time but it ends with soldier getting too excited and bonking you with his shovel. oops. nothing a quick trip to medic can't fix! also, soldier wants round two

PYRO

- ohhh they are very nice :) they agreed for some silly play fighting and actually went very easy on you. the whole experience was quite cute actually and ended with you both cuddling because you were tired. pyro really enjoyed this so chances are they might suggest play fighting themselves in the future

HEAVY

- does NOT fight. heavy is scared of hurting you, he knows you're strong and tough but he would still rather not fight you, even if it's just a game. however if you still wanna fight he will just let you punch him and crawl all over him. it doesn't hurt him at all because you're so tiny. also it looks very funny

DEMOMAN

- hey seems fun! demo agreed and not gonna lie this can either turn into a fluffy scenario where demo throws you over his shoulder and marches around with you while yelling about how he won the fight OR demo gets too unhinged and uses a whole damn bomb on you. oops you both turn out injured, so you both gotta go to medic now. neither of you regret it though

ENGINEER

- was a bit confused at first, like you fr just walked up to him like "hey engie wanna fight :D" like that was the most normal thing to say. he stared at you for a while, but to your surprise he smiled and agreed happily to some play fighting! he thinks the whole experience was very fun and silly and wouldn't mind to do this with you more often!!

MEDIC

- sorryyy but you probably won't get him to play fight, he thinks it's kinda below him. he's a distinguished doctor, and you want him to play fight with you??? anyways. you started a tickle fight with him because how DARE he deny your offer of play fighting. medic is ticklish asf so of course you win

SPY

- like medic, this mf refuses your offer to play fight and says it's childish. however if you still want to know what it's like to have a spy killing you experience you can try to annoy him enough that he just starts chasing you around the base with his knife. it's more fun and gives you a rush of adrenaline because spy actually wants to kill you help

SNIPER

- is unsure at first. it took him a lot of convincing but eventually he gave in and agreed to play fight with you. needless to say he had the time of his life and also went a bit... overboard? he didn't really hurt you, but you DID underestimate his strenght a little. bro is pretty strong for a guy that shoots people from long distances. ever since then you had a bit more respect for him lol