#Also not sure if AI should be FRET or if I should give him like a custom AI | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

rose-demica · 4 years ago

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Prompt: "You were so high/drunk that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter Pan in a fight, and I must say, you were quite persuasive."

Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Avengers

Series: The Rise of Thanos, The Fall of Loki, Sister Agents.

Pairings: Clint Barton X Iris Coulson-Fury AND Pepper Potts X Tony Stark

Warnings: Tony and Iris are DRUNK!

Just a weird but funny Prompt fic,

Iris awakes alone on her 2nd wedding anniversary. Clint having gotten his dates and timezones confused, and rushing off in the wee hours of the morning with Pepper.

Tony, her best friend, joins her in drinking all day, and the pair start fighting over who would win in a fight, Peter Pan, or Santa Claus,

Iris sighed when she woke up alone in bed yet again, rolling over into the cold part of the bed where her lover should have been. Where he’d crawled into bed and wrapped her up in his arms the night before. She frowned when the cold sheets embraced her skin. “Agent Barton and Ms Potts had to fly out to Tokyo for an emergency meeting a few hours ago.” Iris sighed, ever since Happy had taken a well deserved vacation Clint had been attached to Peppers side, taking the role of her personal bodyguard before Tony could even accept the fact that Pepper had allowed the man a holiday. Iris shouldn’t complain, it was satisfying his itch to be out in the field, and Tony was paying him more than Shield ever could. Clint was as close to Pepper as she was to Tony, and it was no surprise that he’d chosen to stand in and protect her like he had so many times before.

"Sir requests your presence when you're awake. He's on his living floor." Iris curled herself in the sheets that held the lingering scent of her lover, taking a deep breath before she got up. "Tell him I'll be half an hour. Imma shower and check in on the twins quickly." Fury and Coulson had taken Amelia and Evan to spend a week with their grandparents, it was so that Iris and Clint could have their second year wedding anniversary alone together. Not realizing that Clint would volunteer as Pepper’s bodyguard and be away from her side. "Of course Ma'am. Shall I call Director Fury or Agent Coulson for you?" "Papa please Jarvis." ~~~~~♥~~~~~♡~~~~~♥~~~~~ Iris smiled to herself when she saw Tony curled in the middle of his big bed, an open book across his chest from where he'd dropped it when he fell asleep. She picked the book up, marking the page before resting it on his bedside table, watching the inventor for a moment before flopping down on the bed beside him. "I miss her," Tony mumbled, cracking open one brown eye to watch as Iris settled herself beside him. "I don't think they've been back longer than six hours all week." Iris frowned, snuggling closer to Tony's side. The older man held out his arm, wrapping it around her waist to hold her close, while she claimed his chest as a pillow.

“I told Pepper to make sure she was home today. That’s why they came back last night. I said I’d handle anything that came up. I’m sorry Ri. They were gone before I woke up.” Iris frowned, pushing herself upwards to look down at Tony.

“Come on Iris, I remembered it, and you don’t.” Tony teased, squeezing her side gently, hooking his other hand under his head as he watched her.

“The date today is the twenty fifth of May Ma’am.” Tony tightened his hold around Iris, tugging her down to curl against his chest as tears welled in her eyes. He felt the cool sting of her tears soak through his shirt as she sobbed, hiding her face in his chest.

“Jarvis.” Tony looked away from Iris as his hand ran up and down her back, offering what little comfort he could, but he knew his arms weren’t those she should be seeking comfort from.

“I have already crafted a strongly worded text message to be sent to Agent Barton, would you like to hear it?” Jarvis replied,

“Sure J, go ahead.” Tony smiled, as his AI pretended to clear his throat.

“How dare you leave your wife alone on your two year wedding anniversary. What kind of Arsehole does that!? You best have something planned to make up for slipping away in the dead of night without even so much as a goodbye. That's low, even by my standards. Still think you’re an arse. Say hi to Pepper from me. I’m mad at her too, by the way, I told her I’d handle anything that came up today so you could be here! Arsehole. Love from Genius, Billionaire, Playboy, Philanthropist, Tony Stark.” Tony fought the urge to laugh as Iris pulled away from him with a smile on her face.

“That’s perfect Jarvis!” She announced, sitting up properly and crossing her legs.

“Sent the message Ma’am. I shall inform you and Sir if there is a response from your significant others. In the meantime, may I suggest that Sir takes Ma’am out for breakfast? Seeing as everyone else is out for the day, and neither of you can cook.”

“Hey! I can make Omelettes!” Tony protested,

“Shut up and take me out. My husband ditched me.” Iris argued back, playfully shoving the genius off of his bed.

“Fine. He owes me though!” Tony grumbled, pushing himself up off the floor and heading for the bathroom.

~~~~~♥~~~~~♡~~~~~♥~~~~~

Bruce was exhausted when he returned to the tower late that night. He expected to be left alone, Clint and Pepper were supposed to be home all day. Clint had huge plans for his second wedding anniversary, going so far as to make sure the twins would be away and convincing Pepper to keep Tony occupied for the entire day, so to be ambushed the second he stepped out of the elevator was not what he expected.

"BRUCIE!" Iris and Tony both slung an arm over his shoulders, each had a near empty bottle of alcohol in their hand, and several more empty ones littered over the bar.

"Clint and Pepper are in Tokyo, they got called away early this morning. Sir and Ma'am are attempting to drown their sorrows in alcohol and forget." Jarvis informed Bruce, seeming to watch as the duo pulled the doctor over to the bar.

"Bruce, who would win in a fight between Santa and Peter Pan, because this one thinks it's Peter Pan, and I think it's Santa." Tony asked, pouring Bruce a glass of whiskey from a fresh bottle, before finishing the one in his hand.

"Peter Pan is thin, swift, nimble, young, and he can fly! Not to mention that he knows how to wield a blade. Santa's all chubby and jolly." Iris playfully pinched the front of Tony's shirt as insulted Santa's weight.

"Hey!" Tony swiped at her, but she'd already danced out of his range, laughter falling from her lips.

"Not if Santa squashes Peter Pan with his sleigh," Tony grumbled, putting aside his bottle to start a play fight with Iris. Iris was laughing as she downed the last of the bottle and responded to Tony's attempted hits. The alcohol made all their movements more sluggish and uncoordinated than Bruce was used to seeing - at least from Iris, who could barely hit straight through her laughter.

"Jarvis, please tell me you are recording this?" Bruce whispered, lifting the glass to his mouth to hide his smile at his two friends.

"Of course Dr. Banner. I am also live streaming it to both Agent Barton and Ms. Potts, they're on the plane back now. Agent Barton's beating himself up that he forgot the date of his own wedding anniversary and got his time zones messed up." Jarvis responded, not worrying about Iris and Tony overhearing him as Iris tripped and thudded into the billionaire's chest. Tony wrapped an arm around her waist to keep her upright. His free hand tangling in her hair as her laughter turned to sobs. Her knees giving out beneath her. Tony was quick to lift her into his arms and carry her over to the couch, holding her close until her sobs subsided.

"Damn it, Clint." Tony disentangled himself from the younger woman, pulling the blankets from the foot of the couch to cover her as she settled into the soft cushions, stumbling towards Bruce and picking up his abandoned bottle of whiskey.

"When did you start drinking?" Bruce asked, watching Tony awkwardly clamber onto the barstool, downing half the bottle once he was settled.

"Uhrm, ten am?" Tony glanced upwards as if asking Jarvis for confirmation of his guess.

"When you got back from breakfast at ten you decided that drinking away your pain was a good idea," Jarvis replied, Bruce glanced at his watch, it had just gone ten pm now, so they'd been drinking a solid twelve hours, he had to wonder when they'd forgone glasses in favour of entire bottles.

"Thanks, J. You tell Clint he's a dick yet?" Tony slurred, pulling up a holographic screen on the bar top below him.

"Multiple times Sir," Jarvis replied, sounding almost bored of the question.

"Good." Tony nodded once to himself as he started typing.

"Tony, that can't be a good idea." Bruce tried to reach around him to minimise the document, but Tony battered his hand away with reflexes that he could have only picked up from the multiple spies and assassins that inhabited his tower.

"I'm not working on anything important. Just proving Ri wrong. Don't fret." Tony started muttering to himself as Bruce finished the last of his glass.

"Don't stay up too late." He doubted Tony even heard him as he left the room in favour of his own bed.

~~~~~♥~~~~~♡~~~~~♥~~~~~

A scream jolted Tony awake, his head lifting up from the bar to glance around the living room, trying to ignore the throbbing in his temple as he did so. The lights, mercifully, had been dimmed enough so he could just make out figures in the background. Pepper had a frown on her face as she flicked through a few documents on the tablet in her hand, speaking softly to Jarvis, he presumed.

The scream, however, had come from Iris, who was wrapped tightly in her husband's arms - despite her halfhearted attempts to break free. His head bowed closer to hers so he could whisper softly to her. Tony smiled when he saw her arms wrap around him rather than fight against him. Iris would hold a grudge, but right now she needed him more than she needed to be mad at him.

"Still mad?" Pepper asked softly, walking to his side and running her fingers through his hair. Tony leant into her touch.

"Yes, she was distraught all day Pep. It was horrible, he took time off to spend with her on their anniversary, and I let him be taken away." Tony reached for the still open bottle of whiskey that sat on the benchtop, Pepper intercepted it before it could pass his lips.

"You two had enough. Now come on, bed." Pepper ushered everyone into the lift with a soft smile playing on her lips.

"What's so amusing Pep?" Tony asked softly, wrapping his arms around her.

"You were so drunk that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter Pan in a fight, and I must say, you were quite persuasive." She replied, leaning into his side with a laugh.

#Avengers #marvel cinematic universe #Clint X Iris #Tony X Pepper #Pepper Potts #Tony Stark #Clint Barton #Iris Coulson-Fury #Prompt #my wriring #The Fall of Loki #The Rise of Thanos #Sister Agents

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mostlysignssomeportents · 5 years ago

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Pluralistic, your daily link-dose: 28 Feb 2020

Today's links

Clearview AI's customer database leaks: Sic semper grifter.

The Internet of Anal Things: Recreating Stelarc's "Amplified Body" with an IoT butt-plug.

Oakland's vintage Space Burger/Giant Burger building needs a home! Adopt a googie today.

Fan-made reproduction of the Tower of Terror: Even has a deepfaked Serling.

Drawing the Simpsons with pure CSS: Impractical, but so impressive.

Let's Encrypt issues its billionth cert: 89% of the web is now encrypted.

AI Dungeon Master: A work in progress, for sure.

How to lie with (coronavirus) maps: Lies, damned lies, and epidemiological data-visualizations.

This day in history: 2019, 2015

Colophon: Recent publications, current writing projects, upcoming appearances, current reading

Clearview AI's customer database leaks (permalink)

Clearview is the grifty facial recognition startup that created a database by scraping social media and now offers cops secretive deals on its semi-magic, never-peer-reviewed technology. The company became notorious in January after the NYT did a deep dive into its secretive deals and its weird, Trump-adjascent ex-male-model founder.

(the Times piece was superbly researched but terribly credulous about Clearview's marketing claims)

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/01/18/technology/clearview-privacy-facial-recognition.html

Yesterday, Clearview warned its customers that it had been hacked and lost its customer database. Today, that customer database was published.

https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/ryanmac/clearview-ai-fbi-ice-global-law-enforcement

It seems that the NYT weren't the only ones to take Clearview's marketing claims at face value. Its client list includes the DoJ, ICE, Macy's, Walmart, and the NBA. All in all the dump includes more than 2,200 users, including "law enforcement agencies, companies, and individuals around the world."

Included: state AGs, university rent-a-cops, and clients in Saudi Arabia.

"BuzzFeed News authenticated the logs, which list about 2,900 institutions and include details such as the number of log-ins, the number of searches, and the date of the last search."

What does Clearview, a sercurity company, say about this ghastly security breach? "Unfortunately, data breaches are part of life in the 21st century."

Big shrug energy.

"Government agents should not be running our faces against a shadily assembled database of billions of our photos in secret and with no safeguards against abuse," ACLU attorney Nathan Freed Wessler, said to BuzzFeed News.

It is amazing that this needs to be said.

"More than 50 educational institutions across 24 states named in the log. Among them are two high schools."

They are:

Central Montco Technical High School in Pennsylvania

Somerset Berkley Regional High School in Massachusetts

The log also has an entry for Interpol.

The Internet of Anal Things (permalink)

In 1994, the notorious/celebrated electronic artist Stelarc did a performance called "Amplified Body" in which he "controlled robots, cameras and other instruments by tensing and releasing his muscles"

https://web.archive.org/web/20120712181429/https://v2.nl/events/amplified-body

Now, artist/critic Dani Ploeger has revisited Amplified Body with his own performance, which is very similar to Stelarc's, except all the peripherals are controlled by Ploeger tensing and releasing his anal sphincters around a smart butt-plug.

https://www.daniploeger.org/amplified-body

He calls it "B-hind" and it's a ha-ha-only-serious. The buttplug is "an anal electrode with EMG sensor for domestic treatment of faecal incontinence," and the accompanying text is a kind of art-speak parody of IoT biz-speak.

https://we-make-money-not-art.com/b-hind-celebrating-the-internet-of-anal-things

"B-hind offers a unique IoT solution to fully integrate your sphincter muscle in everyday living. The revolutionary anal electrode-powered interface system replaces conventional hand/voice-based interaction, enabling advanced digital control rooted in your body's interior. Celebrating the abject and the grotesque, ‍B‒hind facilitates simple, plug-and-play access to a holistic body experience in the age of networked society."

B-hind was produced in collaboration with V2_, the Lab for the Unstable Media in Rotterdam, and In4Art.

Oakland's vintage Space Burger/Giant Burger building needs a home! (permalink)

Giant Burger was once an East Bay institution, known for its burgers and its gorgeous googie architecture.

https://localwiki.org/oakland/Giant_Burger

One of the very last Giant Burger buildings is now under threat. Though the Telegraph Ave location was rescued in 2015 and converted to a "Space Burger," it's now seeking a new home because it is in the path of the Eastline project.

https://insidescoopsf.sfgate.com/blog/2015/02/24/space-burger-launches-in-uptown-oakland/

The Oakland Heritage Alliance is hoping someone will rescue and move the building: " Do you have an idea for a new location for this mid-century icon? Please contact [email protected] if you know of an appropriate lot, project, or site, preferably downtown."

(Image CC BY-SA, Our Oakland)

Fan-made reproduction of the Tower of Terror (permalink)

Orangele set out to re-create the Walt Disney World Twilight Zone Tower of Terror elevator loading zone in the entry area to their home theater. He's not only done an impressive re-make of the set, but he's also augmented it with FANTASTIC gimmicks.

https://www.hometheaterforum.com/community/threads/the-tower-of-terror-theater.365747/

It's not merely that's he's created a rain, thunder and lightning effect outside the patio doors…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4QMzN0v4mJQ

Nor has he merely created props like this gimmicked side table that flips over at the press of a button.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kY7gQLMnbeA

He's also created HIS OWN ROD SERLING DEEPFAKE.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=2&v=MIsjYJwOXSU

I kinda seriously love that he left Rod's cigarette in. The Disney version looks…uncanny.

Not shown: "exploding fuse box with simulated smoke and fire, motorized lighted elevator dial, motorized/lighted pressure gauge, video monitor playing Tower of Terror ride sequence seen through the elevator door wrap, motorized "elevator door'"

He notes, "I was once married, but now as a single person, I can do whatever I want, haha. NEVER getting married again."

Drawing the Simpsons with pure CSS (permalink)

Implementing animated Simpsons illustrations in CSS isn't the most practical web-coding demo I've seen, but it's among the most impressive. Bravo, Chris Pattle!

(not shown: the eyes animate and blink!)

https://pattle.github.io/simpsons-in-css/

#bart .head .hair1 { top: 22px; left: 0px; width: 6px; height: 7px; -webkit-transform: rotate(-22deg) skew(-7deg, 51deg); -ms-transform: rotate(-22deg) skew(-7deg, 51deg); transform: rotate(-22deg) skew(-7deg, 51deg); }

I especially love the quick-reference buttons to see the raw CSS. It reminds me of nothing so much as the incredibly complex Logo programs I used to write on my Apple ][+ in the 1980s, drawing very complicated, vector-based sprites and glyphs.

https://github.com/pattle/simpsons-in-css/blob/master/css/bart.css

Most interesting is the way that this modular approach to graphics allows for this kind of simple, in-browser transformation.

Let's Encrypt issues its billionth cert (permalink)

When the AT&T whistleblower Mark Klein walked into EFF's offices in 2005 to reveal that his employers had ordered him to help the NSA spy on the entire internet, it was a bombshell.

https://www.eff.org/tags/mark-klein

The Snowden papers revealed the scope of the surveillance in fine and alarming detail. According to his memoir, Snowden was motivated to blow the whistle when he witnessed then-NSA Director James Clapper lie to Senator Ron Wyden about the Klein matter.

Since that day in 2005, privacy advocates have been fretting about just how EASY it was to spy on the whole internet. So much of that was down to the fact that the net wasn't encrypted by default.

This was especially keen for @EFF. After all, we made our bones by suing the NSA in the 90s and winning the right for civilians to access working cryptography (we did it by establishing that "Code is speech" for the purposes of the First Amendment).

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2015/04/remembering-case-established-code-speech

Crypto had been legal since 1992, but by Klein's 2005 disclosures, it was still a rarity. 8 years later — at the Snowden moment — the web was STILL mostly plaintext. How could we encrypt the web to save it from mass surveillance?

So in 2014, we joined forces with Mozilla, the University of Michigan and Akamai to create Let's Encrypt, a project to give anyone and everyone free TLS certificates, the key component needed to encrypt the requests your web-server exchanges with your readers.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Let%27s_Encrypt

Encrypting the web was an uphill climb: by 2017, Let's Encrypt had issued 100m certificates, tipping the web over so that the majority of traffic (58%) was encrypted. Today, Let's Encrypt has issued ONE BILLION certs, and 81% of pageloads use HTTPS (in the USA, it's 91%)! This is astonishing, bordering on miraculous. If this had been the situation back in 2005, there would have been no NSA mass surveillance.

Even more astonishing: there are only 11 full-timers on the Let's Encrypt team, plus a few outside contractors and part-timers. A group of people who could fit in a minibus managed to encrypt virtually the entire internet.

https://letsencrypt.org/2020/02/27/one-billion-certs.html

There are lots of reasons to factor technology (and technologists) in any plan for social change, but this illustrates one of the primary tactical considerations. "Architecture is Politics" (as Mitch Kapor said when he co-founded EFF), and the architectural choices that small groups of skilled people make can reach all the way around the world.

This kind of breathtaking power is what inspires so many people to become technologists: the force-multiplier effect of networked code can imbue your work with global salience (for good or ill). It's why we should be so glad of the burgeoning tech and ethics movement, from Tech Won't Build It to the Googler Uprising. And it's especially why we should be excited about the proliferation of open syllabi for teaching tech and ethics.

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1jWIrA8jHz5fYAW4h9CkUD8gKS5V98PDJDymRf8d9vKI/edit#gid=0

It's also the reason I'm so humbled and thrilled when I hear from technologists that their path into the field started with my novel Little Brother, whose message isn't "Tech is terrible," but, "This will all be so great, if we don't screw it up."

https://craphound.com/littlebrother

(and I should probably mention here that the third Little Brother book, Attack Surface, comes out in October and explicitly wrestles with the question of ethics, agency, and allyship in tech).

https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250757531

AI Dungeon Master (permalink)

Since 2018, Lara martin has been using machine learning to augment the job of the Dungeon Master, with the goal of someday building a fully autonomous, robotic DM.

https://laramartin.net/

AI Dungeon Master is a blend of ML techniques and "old-fashioned rule-based features" to create a centaur DM that augments a human DM's imagination with the power of ML, natural language processing, and related techniques.

She's co-author of a new paper about the effort, "Story Realization: Expanding Plot Events into Sentences" which "describes a way algorithms to use "events," consisting of a subject, verb, object, and other elements, to make a coherent narrative."

https://aaai.org/Papers/AAAI/2020GB/AAAI-AmmanabroluP.6647.pdf

The system uses training data (plots from Doctor Who, Futurama, and X-Files) to expand text-snippets into plotlines that continue the action. It's a bit of a dancing bear, though, an impressive achievement that's not quite ready for primetime ("We're nowhere close to this being a reality yet").

https://www.wired.com/story/forget-chess-real-challenge-teaching-ai-play-dandd/

This may bring to mind AI Dungeon, the viral GPT-2-generated dungeon crawler from December.

https://aidungeon.io/

As Will Knight writes, "Playing AI Dungeon often feels more like a maddening improv session than a text adventure."

Knight proposes that "AI DM" might be the next big symbolic challenge for machine learning, the 2020s equivalent to "AI Go player" or "AI chess master."

How to lie with (coronavirus) maps (permalink)

The media around the coronavirus outbreak is like a masterclass in the classic "How to Lie With Maps."

https://www.press.uchicago.edu/ucp/books/book/chicago/H/bo27400568.html

Self-described "cartonerd" Kenneth Field's prescriptions for mapmakers wanting to illustrate the spread of coronavirus is a superb read about data visualization, responsibility, and clarity.

https://www.esri.com/arcgis-blog/products/product/mapping/mapping-coronavirus-responsibly/

Both of these images are representing the same data. Look at the map and you might get the impression that coronavirus infections are at high levels across all of China's provinces. Look at the bar-chart and you'll see that it's almost entire Hubei.

Here's a proposed way to represent the same data on a map without misleading people.

Another point that jumped out: stop coloring maps in red!

"We're mapping a human health tragedy that may get way worse before it subsides. Do we really want the map to be screaming bright red? Red can connotate death, still statistically extremely rare for coronavirus."

This day in history (permalink)

#5yrsago Ad-hoc museums of a failing utopia: photos of Soviet shop-windows https://boingboing.net/2015/02/28/ad-hoc-museums-of-a-failing-ut.html

#5yrsago First-hand reports of torture from Homan Square, Chicago PD's "black site" https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2015/feb/27/chicago-abusive-confinment-homan-square

#1yrago EFF's roadmap for a 21st Century antitrust doctrine https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2019/02/antitrust-enforcement-needs-evolve-21st-century

#1yrago Yet another study shows that the most effective "anti-piracy" strategy is good products at a fair price https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/3kg7pv/studies-keep-showing-that-the-best-way-to-stop-piracy-is-to-offer-cheaper-better-alternatives

#1yrago London's awful estate agents are cratering, warning of a "prolonged downturn" in the housing market https://www.bbc.com/news/business-47389160

#1yrago Bad security design made it easy to spy on video from Ring doorbells and insert fake video into their feeds https://web.archive.org/web/20190411195308/https://dojo.bullguard.com/dojo-by-bullguard/blog/ring/

#1yrago Amazon killed Seattle's homelessness-relief tax by threatening not to move into a massive new building, then they canceled the move anyway https://www.seattletimes.com/business/amazon/huge-downtown-seattle-office-space-that-amazon-had-leased-is-reportedly-put-on-market/

#1yrago The "Reputation Management" industry continues to depend on forged legal documents https://www.techdirt.com/articles/20190216/15544941616/pissed-consumer-exposes-new-york-luxury-car-dealers-use-bogus-notarized-letters-to-remove-critical-reviews.shtml

Colophon (permalink)

Today's top sources: Allegra of Oakland Heritage Alliance, Waxy (https://waxy.org/), We Make Money Not Art (https://we-make-money-not-art.com/), Sam Posten (https://twitter.com/Navesink), Slashdot (https://slashdot.org), Kottke (https://kottke.org) and Four Short Links (https://www.oreilly.com/feed/four-short-links).

Hugo nominators! My story "Unauthorized Bread" is eligible in the Novella category and you can read it free on Ars Technica: https://arstechnica.com/gaming/2020/01/unauthorized-bread-a-near-future-tale-of-refugees-and-sinister-iot-appliances/

Upcoming appearances:

Canada Reads Kelowna: March 5, 6PM, Kelowna Library, 1380 Ellis Street, with CBC's Sarah Penton https://www.eventbrite.ca/e/cbc-radio-presents-in-conversation-with-cory-doctorow-tickets-96154415445

Currently writing: I just finished a short story, "The Canadian Miracle," for MIT Tech Review. It's a story set in the world of my next novel, "The Lost Cause," a post-GND novel about truth and reconciliation. I'm getting geared up to start work on the novel now, though the timing is going to depend on another pending commission (I've been solicited by an NGO) to write a short story set in the world's prehistory.

Currently reading: Just started Lauren Beukes's forthcoming Afterland: it's Y the Last Man plus plus, and two chapters in, it's amazeballs. Last week, I finished Andrea Bernstein's "American Oligarchs" this week; it's a magnificent history of the Kushner and Trump families, showing how they cheated, stole and lied their way into power. I'm getting really into Anna Weiner's memoir about tech, "Uncanny Valley." I just loaded Matt Stoller's "Goliath" onto my underwater MP3 player and I'm listening to it as I swim laps.

Latest podcast: Gopher: When Adversarial Interoperability Burrowed Under the Gatekeepers' Fortresses: https://craphound.com/podcast/2020/02/24/gopher-when-adversarial-interoperability-burrowed-under-the-gatekeepers-fortresses/

Upcoming books: "Poesy the Monster Slayer" (Jul 2020), a picture book about monsters, bedtime, gender, and kicking ass. Pre-order here: https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781626723627?utm_source=socialmedia&utm_medium=socialpost&utm_term=na-poesycorypreorder&utm_content=na-preorder-buynow&utm_campaign=9781626723627

(we're having a launch for it in Burbank on July 11 at Dark Delicacies and you can get me AND Poesy to sign it and Dark Del will ship it to the monster kids in your life in time for the release date).

"Attack Surface": The third Little Brother book, Oct 20, 2020.

"Little Brother/Homeland": A reissue omnibus edition with a very special, s00per s33kr1t intro.

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kaitoujokerscans · 5 years ago

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Showdown in the Dark Night! Joker vs Shadow CH5

<5> Shadow’s Resolve

Once she finished relating everything that had happened in Singapore, Rose took a breath.

"So that's what happened..." Queen said. She knew about the case in Singapore already. UNN had reported that Joker vanished like smoke, and she remembered that Hayami had been quoted, "Baloney! Raisin' those steel walls shoulda been impossible, unless they had superpowers!".

"It's my fault that Hayami-san's trap went to waste..."

"You didn't do anything wrong. It's only right for a phantom thief to help their friends when they're in trouble. You just did what you needed to do."

"If Oniichan hadn't been so selfish back then, I could have stolen the treasure on my own..."

"I'm sure Shadow was just worried about you. He must have changed the plan and tried to steal the treasure himself, I'm sure of it."

"No, Oniichan never has any confidence in me... And then Hayami trusted me, enough to tell me so much. I feel guilty about betraying that trust..."

"That's a fair point, but..." Queen considered. Rose hadn't been in the phantom thief trade for very long, so ultimately deceiving someone had to be an emotional trial for her.

"So when I saw him at the manor, I was too surprised for words. He probably knows I'm a phantom thief ally by now..." Rose lamented. "It might be too late for it now, but I want to see him and apologize. Just a simple 'I'm sorry'."

"I see..." Queen searched for the right words to say, but couldn't find them. Then an "Aha..." came from the bed, uttered by Spade.

"Spade!"

"Spade-sama!"

Spade gently opened his eyes to see Ai looking over him with worry. "My apologies, Dark Eye, looks like I've made trouble for you again... I should've listened to you. I guess my body gave out at the wrong moment."

"It's all right, Spade-sama." Ai smiled, relieved.

Behind, Rose hung her head. "Spade-san, I'm sorry. Your condition worsened because of me..."

Then Spade gave Rose a soft smile. "Ha ha ha, it happened because I didn't take care of myself, so you shouldn't worry about it. I heard your story, and what happened with Hayami isn't your fault either."

"Okay..."

"If you could, I'd appreciate it if you went back along to the manor too. Your powers will probably come of some use. I'm not wholly confident in Queen going alone."

"Excuse me, what do you mean by that?" Queen put her hands on her hips and huffed, but showed a smile to Rose when she turned around. "Okay, Rose, you're going with me."

"Eeh... all right!" Rose nodded vigorously.

Spade then looked over at Ai. "Dark Eye, we have to fulfill our promise with Master. First we'll ask Joker on screen there where the Gilded Chrysanthemum is."

"But Spade-sama, you have to rest..." Ai cautioned Spade, fretting.

"I know. That's why asking you to do it, Dark Eye."

"Eh?" Ai's eyes went wide at the sudden declaration.

"You should be able to accomplish a phantom thief's mission with grace, plus you're skilled at martial arts. I want you to help out Queen and Rose."

"But... I have to take care of you, Spade-sama..."

"I'm here, so you don't have to worry about Spade. I won't let him push himself." In front of the computer, Roko grinned.

"Dark Eye, please. This is something only you can do." Spade looked Ai right in the eye.

"...Understood." Ai made up her mind and nodded gently.

"Okay, everything's settled! I'll get Komachi's Gilded Chrysanthemum this time!" Queen announced, and the three women stood up bravely. They exchanged glances with one another, along with angelic smiles.

§§§

Shadow and Hachi quietly landed on a slightly elevated knoll. The knoll wasn't too far from the Gardens. The manor lights could be seen in the distance. The circling spotlights probably meant they were looking for Shadow again.

"Shadow-san, thank you for saving me..." Hachi bobbed his head down, only to be met with a "tch" sound from Shadow.

"He let me get away. I just repaid the favor." Shadow said, then snatched the cards Hachi was holding. They were the same cards that Joker had used for his Straight Flash and set floating. Hachi had picked them up when running away.

"Ah, those are!"

"My gratuity for saving you." He reversed the cards to reveal a golden hairpin stuck to them. "Thought so..." Shadow smirked, peeled off the hairpin, and studied it. "..." The golden hairpin shone dimly in the darkness of night. While he did, Hachi started to check his belongings.

"What are you doing?"

Hachi didn't answer. It seemed that Hachi intended to go back into the manor.

"You'll just get caught if you go."

"Joker-san believes in me, though." Hachi said to Shadow with a smile.

"..." Shadow looked into Hachi's eyes silently.

"Well, I'm off. Shadow-san, thank you!" Hachi bobbed his head again. Then he ran down the knoll, blowing a bubble of Balloon Gum as he did, and sprang into the air. He gradually blended into the dark of night, in the direction of the manor.

"......" Shadow watched him leave and spoke. "Believes in him, huh..."

Rose's face crossed Shadow's mind. Ever since the Singapore caper, Rose had seemed a bit depressed. It might have been a little too early for her to go on a solo mission, after all. Shadow regretted letting Rose go alone. He also criticized himself for not being able to protect Rose again.

--It used to be that Shadow lived to sever his old ties with Joker. When Shadow and Rose were young, a man called Professor Clover had coveted Rose's mysterious powers and raided their village, taking Rose away. Rose became a prisoner and was put to sleep for a long time. In Shadow's eyes, Joker was one of the reasons why Rose had been targeted; that rage burned in his heart, and his hatred for Joker made him live in a world of darkness. However, once Shadow and Joker combined forces to defeat Clover and wake Rose up from her sleep, he was able to discard these emotions.

Yet...

As soon as Rose was saved, Shadow lost sight of the meaning of his life...

Up until then, he had been fueled by his resentment and hatred of Joker. But for Shadow, losing those feelings was the same as losing his reason for living.

Shadow thought back to what Hayami had told him earlier. Yer Joker's shadow, a bona fide phoney veiled by darkness. He had denied it then, but what he said was true.

I'm just a phoney version of Joker... He had saved Rose, and his boyhood grudge against Joker had vanished. There wasn't even need to imitate his dress anymore. When they brought down Clover, he could have taken a new step under his real name, as Phantom Thief Cyan. But...

Something tugged at Shadow's heart. I'm not better than him at anything... Joker was Shadow's archnemesis, as well as someone he once despised. He had chosen to be the shadow to his light and extinguish that light, but he had lost his motive before one of them could come out on top. Am I going to be his "shadow" for the rest of my life...?

Shadow had been cleansed of that despair by Rose's trust. When she woke up, Rose relied on him with all her heart. Thus Shadow made an oath, so he could stand on his own as a phantom thief. Until then, he had thought he would steal everything from Joker, but from that moment on he was going to give everything to Rose. He had decided to live for Rose, who trusted in him. Since the Singapore incident, he felt that trust had been shaken. To stabilize it, he had to succeed in this mission...

Bong...! struck the bell of the manor's clock tower. The tower clock was shrouded in darkness, making it impossible to tell the time.

"..." Shadow took a moment to hold up the golden hairpin in his hand. Rose, watch me... Shadow flapped his black cape and glared at the Gardens. "The real Komachi's Gilded Chrysanthemum will be mine...!"

#kaitou joker #light novel

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hunterxassasin · 5 years ago

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A Fox in Ladybug's Clothing part 2

Idk how I feel about this chapter it's kinda all over the place I guess? I knew how I wanted to end it but I just couldn't seem to get there in a consistent manner. I'll probably revise it at some point but I wanted to get it out for you guys so with no further ado!

-----

Harlequin Harmony raced down the hallway, towards the sounds of the fight. It wasn't hard to find it, especially not with Chat Noir shouting puns trying to be witty every five seconds. Harlequin rolled her eyes as she neared the battle, unlatching her yoyo from where it was hooked on the side of her suit. As she approached, Chat Noir gave her a questioning and defensive look. "You're not Ladybug!" He huffed out, dodging a blow from Lady Amity a second before he was hit.

Harlequin flicked the loose strands for her hair, hands on her hips. "Ladybug is tied up right now. I'm her replacement, Harlequin Harmony." The hero said, puffing out her chest as she swung her yoyo at Chat, pulling him away from another blow from the villain. "I know where her Akuma is hiding, follow my lead." The girl looked up at Lady Amity, eyes narrowed. She slowly stalked forward, yoyo swinging in front of her like a makeshift shield.

"Do not take another step forward." Lady Amity's voice boomed, and Harlequin stopped. Chat Noir was close behind, giving her a concerned look.

"Don't you think you should use your lucky charm?" Harlequin shot him a look, she didn't intend on using the lucky charm at all during this fight. She had watched Marinette enough to know that she likely wouldn't destroy anything during her time as an Akuma, in fact Lady Amity seemed to only be out for one thing, to have her friends notice her again. This didn't faze Harlequin, in fact, it made her whole plan a whole lot easier.

She shook her head, and pointed to the bag that was tied around Lady Amity's waist, giving her dress a more regal look. "We don't need it, she isn't going to cause any damage. In fact, all I need you to do is distract her for a while. Find some of the kids from Ms.Bustier's class, they'll be good bait for her, distract her long enough so I can grab the bag."

Without another word, Harlequin swung off, using the school's rafters to propel her. Chat Noir was on edge, he didn't enjoy the way this girl was going about getting rid of this Akuma, especially not with her using civilians as bait, but. . .if it got the job done, why not give it a shot. He knew a certain reporter was probably lingering around, and she'd be more than happy to help out.

Alya was easy to spot, as she wasn't very hidden in the first place. The girl was on her knees, phone out, recording the action, or lack thereof. She glanced up when Chat Noir walked up to her. "Shouldn't you be helping the new ladybug get that Akuma?"

"Actually, that's what I'm here for. I need your help. Harlequin Harmony wants us to distract Lady Amity. So far she seems peaceful, aside from trying to find and force people to like her. Can you help me?" The hero asked, and received an enthusiastic nod from Alya. He grinned and dashed off, the girl fast on his heels.

---

The Akuma was taken care of swiftly and efficiently. Harlequin Harmony had cleansed and released the Akuma. She called the lucky charm, which was a pair of black studs. The hero ignored this and threw them in the air, calling out "Miraculous Harmony!" And a swarm of ladybugs fixed the little damage Lady Amity had caused. Harlequin bent down next to Marinette and helped her up, a fake smile on her face. "Are you alright, Marinette?"

Marinette looked at the hero in confusion, and then seemed to remember the events moments prior to her akumatization. "I'm fine. . . Uh -"

"My name is Harlequin Harmony, it's a pleasure to meet you." She glanced back as she heard the telltale chirp of her miraculous, giving Chat a look."I've got to go, will you help her home?" She once again didn't wait for an answer, rushing up the stairs and into an empty classroom.

Lila let her transformation fall, catching Tikki in her hands. The little red kwami looked exhausted, and more than a little bit surprised. Lila had moved with such grace and efficiency when she was transformed, something Tikki was not expecting. The kwami shook her head,glaring up at Lila. "Give the earring back to Marinette, you did your job, its time." She said,crossing her arms over her chest.

Lila let out a snicker, shaking her head. Did this little thing really think she was going to give up the miraculous so easily? Tikki was stupider than she had originally thought. "Why would I do that? I've got a miraculous now, and the whole of Paris needs to know how much better Harlequin Harmony is than Ladybug. Soon the whole city will forget her and be fans of me!" She held Tikki a bit tighter in her hands, before dropping the Kwami into her bag. "There's food in there if you get hungry, we have a long day ahead of us."

Tikki opened her mouth to say something, but the bag was zipped up too quickly. She thought about phasing out of it, but it would be no use if she couldn't get the earrings from Lila, Tikki hoped Marinette was right in thinking being a miraculous holder would change Lila for the better, because if not, Paris was in for a world of hurt.

---

A few months had passed since the first appearance of Harlequin Harmony, which meant a few more Akumas had come and gone. Harlequin and Chat made a good team, swiftly taking down Akumas, about half the time without the help of a lucky charm. Harlequin was a good manipulator, and found it quite easy to just get an Akuma to get distracted long enough for she or Chat to break the object the Akuma was hiding in. Paris was still fretting over the disappearance of Ladybug, but they still had two saviors of Paris so it wasn't too big on their radar.

Lila was sitting in the back of class, seething with anger. Her attempt at making Marinette out to be a selfish fool had backfired, their classmates had seemingly come to their senses for the most part after the Lady Amity event. They hadn't exactly ditched Lila, but she was upset they were speaking to Marinette again, as if nothing had changed. Things have changed, Lila knew Marinette was Ladybug, and she had refused to give the miraculous back. Lila knew Marinette was just as much a liar as she was, if only because she lied everytime she had to make an excuse to go be Ladybug. She shook her head, balling her fists on the desk. There wasn't any time for these kind of thoughts.

Lila stood up and made her way over to Alya and Marinette, who were chatting with Adrien and Nino about hanging out together this afternoon. "Oh! You're going to the park! How nice! Do you mind if I tag along?" She asked, giving Alya a smile. She had been spending more time with the group, in hopes of distancing them from Marinette once more, but if anything she seemed to be slowly becoming a friend to them, at least, that's what Marinette hoped.

Lila had noticed Marinette was being oddly nice to her, especially since she hadn't given the earrings back. Marinette hadn't even requested them back once, this made Lila slightly uneasy. One would have thought Marinette would have tried to get her miraculous back more than once, but she hadn't even asked about it, not once. It seemed as if Lila was craving out a place for herself, though her lies continued. "I don't mind if you come along." Alya piped up, putting her arm around Lila with a grin.

Adrien opened his mouth to speak, but he was cut off by a scream coming from outside. The four teens ran to the window, spotting the citizens of Paris running into buildings, away from a giant stone monster. "Ivan. . ." Marinette said quickly, and glanced at Lila. She was the only one who knew Lila held the Ladybug miraculous now, and Marinette was the only one outside of Chat Noir who had an insight on how to beat Stoneheart. It wasn't a surprise that Hawkmoth had akumatized the boy once again, he'd already akumatized some people into a villain more than once, such as Mr.Pigeon or Stormy Weather. Harlequin Harmony and Chat Noir had taken them down easily enough, Mr.Pigeon more so than Stormy Weather but that's besides the point.

"I better get home! My mom is going to be worried sick once she finds out there's an Akuma running around" she fished her phone out of her pocket, pretending it was vibrating. "Oh here she is now!" Lila said and scurried out of the classroom. She ducked into an empty classroom and called on her transformation. After the bright pink light died down, Harlequin Harmony raced out into the streets, spotting the Akuma she used her yoyo to get closer, eventually slamming it into the monster. To her surprise, Stoneheart grew bigger. Harlequin backed up, stumbling into Chat Noir.

"You can't attack him head on, he'll just grow in size." The boy explained, pulling Harlequin to safety as Stoneheart began to advance. "Call your lucky charm, last time Ladybug and I-"

Harlequin yanked her hand away from Chat, seething. "Don't bring up that wretched bug in my presence! I don't care what she did last time, I'm not her! I'm better than her in every way!" She snapped, and used her yoyo to fling across the city after the Akuma. Usually she and Chat Noir worked well together, but anytime he brought up Ladybug and how she did things, Harlequin would get on the defense side, become angry and lash out. She stopped on the roof of a building, watching as Stoneheart continued turning others to stone wherever he went.

Harlequin was confused and wasn't quite sure what to do. She fidgeted for a minute before trying to attack the monster with her Yoyo once more. He just grew bigger. This went on for what seemed like forever, she thought she could finish him off without using the lucky charm, without Chat's help, but after a few hours of her struggling to keep out of Stoneheart's grasp and trying to figure out a plan, and also making sure chat stayed out of her way, she had no choice. Harlequin through her yoyo into the air. "Lucky charm!" She called, and a gong fell into her hands. Chat looked at her curiously.

"Aren't you going to go to the guardian's place and get another miraculous to help? That's what that means." He asked, only to receive an irritated look from Harlequin.

"Stop pulling my leg, I don't even know what or who you're talking about!" Glancing around the area didn't help her figure out what to do with the gong. She hissed, and threw it aside, ignoring the beeping of her miraculous. Chat Noir pinned his faux ears to the side of his head and bounded off. If Harlequin didn't know of the guardian or where he was at, then he'd have to get them help.

---

Adrien entered the small massage parlor wearily, Plagg floating out of his pocket once they were safe inside. "I know Harlequin Harmony said Ladybug gave her the miraculous but if she doesn't even know who the guardian is, I'm not sure we can trust her. Now might be the time to get that miraculous back, Adrien." Plagg said, shoving a piece of cheese in his mouth.

Adrien stopped in the doorway, shaking his head as he waited for Master Fu to come see them. "I'm sure Tikki just hasn't deemed her ready yet. Everything will be fine Plagg, I have faith in her." His eyes light up when he saw Master Fu hobble out of what seemed to be the kitchen with two cups of tea. "Master Fu! It's good to see you again."

Fu gave a small smile, and handed the tea to Adrien. "I had a feeling you'd be showing up today, Chat Noir." The man headed for the miracle box, bringing it over to Adrien, he opened it. "Adrien Agreste, pick an ally you can trust to aid you in this fight, once the job is done, you will return the miraculous back to me. Do you understand?" The man went through the procedural words, letting Adrien look over the miraculous in front of him.

"Actually master, I have someone in mind, and the perfect miraculous for her is the one on your wrist. . . May I?" Fu nodded, putting the turtle miraculous in one of the boxes. He handed it over to Adrien. The two big farewell, and once in the alley way again, Adrien transformed back into Chat Noir.

---

Chat Noir bounded over the roofs of Paris, headed towards the school. He slipped in through a window, and glanced around. She should be here somewhere. . . He slowly began to prowl through the seemingly empty hallways, that is until he heard someone smack into the floor. "Alya! We're trying to be quiet!" Marinette's voice echoed towards him, as she seemed to pick herself up off the ground.

"Sorry girl, I didn't mean to run into you." The other voice responded. Chat grinned, just who he was looking for. But he needed a way to separate them.

He approached the two girls,giving them a smile. "Hey ladies, found a safe place to hide yet?" He leaned on his baton, causing Marinette to roll her eyes.

"We have one spot, but it won't fit both of us -" she was cut off as Chat Noir lifted her off the ground. Alya blinked for a moment before pulling out her phone, ready to record this. Chat held his hand up, shaking his head.

"Go hide Alya, I'll get Marinette somewhere safe." With that he gripped Marinette a bit tighter and bounded off out of the school. He skirted to a halt on a secluded roof, setting Marinette down. Grabbing the box of the turtle miraculous, Chat held it out to her. "Marinette Dupain-Cheng, this is the miraculous of the turtle. It grants the power of protection. You will use it for the greater good, and return it to me once the job is over." Chat held the box a little closer to her. "Do you accept?" Marinette blinked for a moment before giving a nod.

She opened the box,flinching a bit as Wayzz flew out in a ball of green light. The kwami played pretend well enough, acting as if he didn't know who Marinette was. "Hello, I am Wayzz, and I'll be your kwami. To transform just say 'shell on'."

With a nod, the girl slipped the bracelet on, it turned into what seemed to be a simple leather cord bracelet. "Wayzz! Shell on!" She called, and a green light washed over her.

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theapostlesnigeria · 3 years ago

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IS EVERYTHING AGAINST YOU?

"They told him, “Joseph is still alive! In fact, he is ruler of all Egypt.” Jacob was stunned; he did not believe them." - Genesis 45:26.

All along God knew Joseph was alive but He never told His Servant Jacob that his son was alive. Seeing the agony and sorrow the Carrier of His Divine Plans was passing through, He should have told him the truth about Joseph, if not for anything, to give him peace and rest of mind. While Jacob agonized and grieved over the supposed death of Joseph, God was busy at the work of prospering, promoting and establishing the same Joseph. But even at this, He never told Jacob anything. Jacob simply pined and withered away in absolute heartbreak, pains and grief over his loss. At one of his breaking points, the torment was so overwhelming he screamed: "Everything is against me!” - Genesis 42:36. Friend, is everything also against you now? How are you sure God is not currently busy at work on that issue you are agonizing and grieving about?

Despite the searing pains and sorrow of His Servant, Jacob, He never revealed anything to him. Rather, He expected Jacob to know and believe that He had his back and interests. He wanted Jacob to believe and rely on His earlier Word to him: "I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.” - Genesis 28:15. If Jacob had truly believed this personalized Word from God, he would have rested assured that God had his back at all times and in all things. He would have ended up being joyful, prayerful and thankful at all times, even at Joseph's supposed death. No wonder God would later advise us: "Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way." - 1 Thessalonians 5:16- 18; 2 Thessalonians 3:16. Friend, stop running from one Man of God to another. Your salvation is in God's Word, even in that Bible in your heart.

In all the circumstances confronting us, God knows what He is doing for us without our knowledge and understanding. That is why He says we should be joyful and thankful in all circumstances. It should be noteworthy that He has assured us that no matter how dreadful the circumstances before us looks, He will surely give us peace through it. So, that situation you are agonizing and grieving over like Jacob, is your sure source of peace from God. That is the meaning of 2 Thessalonians 3:16. If only we can see as He sees, and know as He knows, we would have been laughing at these so-called dreadful circumstances. Anyway, now you know, will you now laugh at those your frightening situations?

Believing and acting on the Word of God will help you see as God sees, and know as He knows. It will save you from confronting life's issues with flawed or false information. Jacob grieved and agonized because of the flawed information at his disposal - the false information he had accepted and acted upon. Therefore, the source and credibility of the information you use in confronting the issues of life is critical. So Friend, whose information are you using to run your life? Are you running your life by God's Flawless and superior Infallible Word or by the information from the world, society and man? "Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’” - Matthew 4:4.

I Love men like Joshua, who confront the issues of their lives by the Flawless and superior Infallible Word of God. They don't see as other men see nor act like other men act. When Ai defeated Israel in battle, Joshua did not fret and re-strategize as other men would, but he simply laid on the floor all day long before the Lord, crying just one thing: "What can I say, Lord, now that Israel has turned its back and run from its enemies?" - Joshua 7:8. Joshua could not comprehend how the impossible became possible, how the Word of God failed. To him it was simply impossible. For God had promised him on assumption of Israel’s Leadership: "No one will be able to stand up against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you." - Joshua 1:5. So when it seemed as if God's Word has failed, Joshua cried to God for an explanation. For he did not know by whose else information he would be living by as he was among the few men who live only by the Flawless and superior Infallible Word of God. Friend, are you among those few persons that live only by the Flawless and superior Infallible Word of God?

Cheer up Friend. lf you are among those few persons that have decided to honor God in living by His Flawless and superior Infallible Word, you have God's oath on those frightening circumstances: "That frightening situation will surely bring you peace." At the very end, we will know if everything was against you or for you. But until then, be joyful and thankful at all times and in all things just as the Omniscient, omnipresent and Omnipotent God advises. At least He knows what He is talking about; He knows what He is cooking for You. If you have His Word, be rest assured He has your Back.

GOD HAS BLESSED YOU - BRO KINGDOM EGEJURU.

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furiousconnoisseurcomputer-blog · 7 years ago

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Question about car insurance?

"Question about car insurance?

I'm wondering something about car insurance. I am a 17 year old male, (turning 18 in 1 month) and have been driving a 2001 Hyundai accent since October. I am insured with esurance, and have liability only. I have a clean driving record. My monthly insurance is $197. I am on my parents policy. When I first called to get a quote, (cheapest company for me) it was around 120 a month, but then they got the VIN number and of course it went up because it knew exactly what car it was. Of course car insurance is very expensive for a male my age. My question is that I'm trying to save money to buy a jeep wrangler this summer. Will probably be a year 1997-2003. I want to know about how much it would cost to insure the jeep. I hear mixed responses about the cost to insure a wrangler, iv heard it's expensive because of the high theft rate and roll over chances. I know of course I don't know how much it will be exactly, considering I don't have a VIN number for the jeep wrangler. I get extremely expensive quotes when I search online, and the are all completely off. My parents policy has probably 4 or 5 cars on it and I am excluded off everyone's car. My sister has been in 2 wrecks and 2 speeding tickets, which I heard makes my insurance increase also. Anyone who has a general idea about cost for me to insure a jeep wrangler, thank you.

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://saleinsurancequotes.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr

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If u wrote-off a $5000 car, on average how much would ur insurance company give you back?""

""Going to LA for week, how much does it cost to rent a car?""

I don't want anything too fancy but nothing crap if you know what I mean....just a decent car that will do me for a week. I know insurance will be a killer especially as I am under 25, but my boyfriend is 27 so if we put it in his name will it make it any cheaper? Oh and if anyone knows a good company to rent from, please let me know.....will it be best to go straight to the rental place that's in the airport? Thanks!""

Insurance or personal?

I had a brush with a car i n the parking lot and the bumper of the other car came off. its a new car and the bumper needs to be replaced. The guy is claming $700 for repairs. Just wondering if i shuld pay it from my pocket or shuld go thru insurance. In case i claim insurance do points get added to my insurance which will impact my insurance cost in the coming years? whcih is more sensible...

How does life insurance work?

Hubby is getting a new job that may be a little bit dangerous and he'd be gone for weeks. I am not money hungry or wanting my best friend to die. I just want to have this insurance on him so if he were to accidently leave me with child and something happened to him, I want atleast funeral costs and my child to be taken care of too. I know I'm probably fretting too much but I can't convince him to not take the job. He's worth more than any amount of money. We're both in our twenties. I don't know how life insurance works.""

Which auto insurance providers do not use credit rating as a factor in determining rates?

I'm 28. No accidents, no tickets. I work from home. Go to school online. Car is garaged kept, old and driven only a few times a week, within 3 miles of home. I'm in no way a danger or menace to society. Through mistakes (ages 18-24) I have bad credit. Current insurance, paid 6 mos in advance is coming up for renewal, and has risen due to bad credit. I do not think I fit the criteria of high risk in terms of claims or bad driving.""

What is pay and go car insurance?

I'd like to drive my dads car for a couple of months through the summer until i go to university, it would be pointless getting a whole years policy as ill be gone in 3 months, i understand pay & go car insurance is one-monthly deals. Am i right? could anyone give me some more information ? Thank you""

Question about car insurance?

How can i get temporary car insurance in the UK?

my brothers not going to be using his car for the next month and i want to know how i can get insurance cover for a few weeks or maybe a month. my brother in law got it on my dads car so he could use it for a while but im not sure how to go about it. can i do it through his insurance and how much roughly would it cost? thanks

Will my insurance pay off my car?

My car was considered totaled due to fire damage in the engine, i only purchased the car about 2 months ago wich means my policy is also new, will my insurance pay off the car or what will happened? Has any one experience something similar??""

What is the most affordable car insurance in Boise /Idaho?

Health insurance help..family of 6?

we got denied Medicaid in our state, said we make to much money. we cant afforded it our works don't have it. where can i go to get at least a RX card or something?? or a place that has affordable insurance?""

USAA auto-insurance discounts?

Does anyone out there have USAA for car insurance who ALSO has banking through USAA? I've been told by USAA that if I did have banking with them that I'd get a discount on auto insurance as well, but they can't tell me any specifics as to how much of a discount. If it's only gonna save 10 dollars or something I'm not gonna mess with it. Anyone out there able to tell me a decent estimate on how much I might save or how much they save?""

Average motorcycle insurance?

I'm 22 and I pay right at 100 a month for insurance. How much does a regular sports bike cost to add insurance on? I know it depends on the bike but for like a GSXR 600.

How much is auto insurance for a 17 year old (Toronto)?

depending on the price range of insurance, i will be looking forward to buy a used car and i will probably use the car for less then 2 hours a day. I completed driving school about a year ago and i got my g2. So how much will insurance be a year for me?""

Will a medical suspension raise car insurance rates?

My wife has a medical suspension and is trying to get her license back. She has 0 points on her record. I know if you are suspended for stupidity (DUI, reckless driving, ect) then your car insurance rates go up, but do they go up for a medical suspension??""

""If I get my driver's permit in Michigan, will my parent's insurance go up?""

I'm 15 years old and my mother is hesitant to let me learn to drive, however I finally convinced her. :) She said I can't get my license though because it will drive her insurance way up. She will let me get my permit though if that doesn't have an effect on her insurance cost. I looked online a little bit and some people have said a permit will alter the cost, but other say that only a licence will. So basically, will getting a permit (not licence) drive up insurance? Sorry for the lengthiness ;)""

How do I find out my neighbors homeowners insurance company?

My daughter was bitten by my neighbors dog. He refuses to pay. I want to file a claim on his homeowners insurance, but he won't tell me.""

""Buying a new car, but don't have insurance?""

If I don't currently have insurance, how can I drive a car home from the auto dealer? do i have to purchase insurance before I buy the car? what if i'm buying from an individual and his insurance on the car has lapsed?""

Cheap car insurance for 17 year olds?

I know this is probably one of the most asked questions on the here, but for me it is a real pain finding any decent answers... Id be very grateful if anyone could list insurers that are relatively cheap for car insurance for us youngsters! (Preferably under 200/month). Thanks in advance! :)""

What are tips on getting the cheapest car insurance?

...like I think you are suppose to have $1000 as opposed to $500 or $5000... I have a good driving record and I recently bought a house (so I'll probably have my house insurance with the same company)

How much per year does health insurance cost for an average 50 year old with no employment benefits?

just a single person. no previous health problems. I realize this depends on specific circumstances, but you can ballpark estimate it for me thanks.""

How can i get cheaper car insurance?

Ok so i'll be 17 soon and i sooooo want to drive. I found a nice car, a peugeot 307 five door 1.6 car for 2700, insurance group 4. it's a great looking car, but when i filled in details on gocompare, tescocompare etc for insurance it came up as at least 15,000 for fully comp. other cars are similar prices. i put a fake birthday in so i was 17 on the system. How can i MASSIVELY reduce the cost? i dont want tips that might save 100 or 200 pounds, but something more reasonable!!! Also im a very sensible person and will be a good safe driver not a boy racer lol!""

What is the average cost for General Liability Insurance for a Security Guard Company in California.?

I'm trying to get an idea of how much a 1,000,000,000 Liability Insurance Policy would cost for a Security Company in California""

How much will my first car and the insurance come to roughly?

i can start driving lessons in January. How much, on average, would my first car cost? and how much on average would the insurance be? Also.. What would you advise for a girls first car? :) Leave your answers below please, Thanks!xx""

Provisional insurance for young driver?

Looking to get insured on my mums car but my mums insurance company wont put me on her insurance,,,, could i get insured by a company such as provisional marmalade? Any other suggestions?""

Is there a published list of average car insurance rates for all insurers?

Is there a published list where all auto insurers report their average rates? Basically a comparison chart or similar type information? If not, are insurers required to list their average rates somewhere? Basically I'm trying to compile a list of insurance rates, hopefully based on the different criteria used by the insurance companies themselves. I'm trying to find a way other than calling each individual insurer to get a ballpark figure on their rates for different types of drivers.""

""Insure the box car Insurance, Why so Cheap?""

I'm a 1st time driver so insurance is always stupidly High, However I was checking quotes online and they were all near enough same price ish 2200 for a 1.2 engine, however I did a quote with insure the box and it was ONLY 935.45 with Voluntary Excess at 250. I know about the 6000 miles and the box and all but this is over 1200 cheaper than any other insurer. It just seems too could to be true and normally things are, or are they? Anyone give us a hand with this please, much appreciated""

Where can i find affordable health insurance for my wife so that she may quit work and start her own business?

She is a teachers aide now, has retired but still works b/c she won't have insurance is she quits.""

How much would it cost for car insurance for a second hand classic car for a 17 year old?

Hey, I'm turning 16 in September 2012, and being a boy I am already thinking about my first car. I'm hoping to start work around November-December and am hoping to earn around 1500, which fits perfectly into my price range of 1000 - 2000. Recently I've been thinking down the more 'Classical Route' (extravagant, I know) and found Classic Cars for around this price at www.carandclassic.co.uk I've had my eye on MG mgbgt or Triumph Spitfire and similar. I can afford something like this. The only problem that faces is me now is Insurance. I know that insurance is really quite expensive for this type of car ESPECIALLY for my age. However I have heard that insuring a car at my age is expensive regardless of the type. It's really the only set back for me. I'd love to hear from you how much it would cost to insure this kind of car for my age, as well as any personal experiences, alternatives and any other advice. Thanks. :)""

""Can you help me-insurance, cars, and money?""

Okay, I'm planning on buying a car soon. My family is in a very deep hole financially, so I'm going to ask my grandparents to help me, because they are doing fine. I need a car to get to school, get to my current job on time, and have another job (along with 2 AP classes and babysitting!) I never ask them for anything, not that I've ever wanted to, so I'm really scared to ask them for this huge favor. I'm planning on paying them back for every single penny I borrow plus interest. So I want to know an idea of how much money I'm going to need to borrow. Okay, for insurance...I'm planning on buying a toyota yaris, matrix, or camry. Or a honda civic (perferrably hatchback). Or a volkswagon beetle. But right now, anything will do as long as its reliable. For a 16 year old, A average grades, living in KY, about how much would monthly insurance be? For payments, I know about 2000 for down would be good. But how much (about) would interest be on monthly payments? I'm planning on finding a car that is about 7000-8000 dollars. And lastly, how should I ask!? They know I'm mature and responsible, but I don't think they are willing to help me out. I absolutely hate asking for things from people, but I really need help so that I can help my family. So how should I do it? Thank you so much! :) I'll choose best answer!!!""

Where can i buy salvaged/broken cars or trucks from insurance companies for cheap?

i am thinking to start a business of exporting cars to third world countries. i see potential but i am looking for cheap and nice cars. i already have a mechanic, already have agents and know how to ship. i am thinking i should find potential markets here that i can buy for cheap. my main target is older semi trucks and some models of sedans here. any help ?""

How do I lower my insurance as a young driver?

This is becoming rediculous now, I've discovered it's pretty much impossible for me to start driving as car insurance is coming out around 4,000!!! I've been looking for months on all different cars and the cheapest quote I've had was 1,800 for a Ford Fiesta, the car itself is 2,000 I know people who have got theirs down to under a grand.. I must be doing something wrong surely??""

Question about car insurance?

Lowest insurance rates?

Hi!!! I would like your opinions on the lowest car insurance rates. I am currently with an insurance company that has not lowered my rate and I have been accident free for more than 5 years. So I am going to switch carriers and wanted to hear your opinions on where I should try.. Thanks in advance

What is the cheapest Sr22 insurance in california?

I am 20 years old Dwv suspended my liscense for a year,i payed all my ticket fees,they were all mostly speeding,i had a total of 6 points on my record.where can i find cheap liabilty insurance?""

How much do you think motorcycle insurance would be for me?

I am 23 and don't have my motorcycle license yet. I have had my own car insured for 5 years with no speeding tickets or accidents or anything if that makes a difference. I currently pay like $100 a month for auto insurance. I would get an older bike (1980s) that is small (maybe 600 cc)... nothing sporty or anything. Also, how does motorcycle insurance work in terms of paying it during the winter when Im not driving it? Thanks, Chris""

Can I change my car insurance before the year is up?

I have found a cheaper quote but my insurance doesn't run out until next year

""If I go under my parents car insurance, is it cheaper ?""

Hello. I'm 18 and recently got my provisional license. I would like to know if I go under my moms name for the insurance of the car, would it be significantly less expensive than if I were to get my own insurance, or is it the same price for insurance all around ?""

Help with life insurance?

My husband apply a life insurance for me without my knowing for $150,000 dollars. I came from other country and I was shocked because as if my husband wants to kill me and just married me for life insurance. One day a nurse came to our house and get blood and urine test and asked my husband what's that for, he lied to me he told me that was only needed for his work and for my health insurance. I was just wandering, after few days I received a letter from Veteran's Insurance that my beneficiary when I died is my husband for 150,000 dollars, I called right away the insurance company and disconnect it. My question is, is there anyway that my husband can apply me again for life insurance without my knowing? I don't want him to become the beneficiary. Can I make a last will and testament that when something happen to me my beneficiary are my parents? What will I do to do this step?""

Cheap car insurance?

Does anyone know where I can get cheap car insurance online? I need full coverage. I have checked Geico and Progressive, they are so expensive. Thanks!""

Car Insurance : Average price for 40yr old female first time driver?

Just passed test. Quotes vary wildly online. Not bought a car yet. Looking at Nissan Micra's. What kind of prices should I be looking at?

Does anyone know about medical insurance for low income famlies?

I know a famliy in California they make 1300 a month. Is there no goverment insurance plans for young people like this>

Car insurance 15 year old with 4.0 gpa?

my son is going to turn 15 i wanted to know what it would cost and what options i have

Should I call my auto insurance?

This afternoon, I was at a gas station and I backed my 2003 Pontiac mini van into a concrete barrier very hard. The left rear bumper is falling off, the hatch is dented fairly bad in the corner so it is difficult to open (that dent is about 4 inches in diameter but very deep) and the side with an automatic door has two shallow dents about a foot across. One of my taillights chipped on the side but didn't crack or shatter. No broken glass or anything. The plastic bumper is cracked in a few places, and has red paint all over over it from the barrier. the doors still work (excepting that the hatch catches on the taillight area), no electronic or mechanical issues, just body damage. The question is, should I call insurance? I am almost 17 and I've had my license for about 6 months. Roughly how much would the body work cost, since my insurance with AARP is sure to go up dramatically? Or would I want to play it safe and place a claim? My parents know all about it, and it was a total accident (I missed the brake pedal and hit the accelerator). Just looking for the way that will cost me less in the long run. Thank you for your help.""

""I have just got my provisional licence,and want to be put on my mums insurance.?""

Hi All, I have just received my provisional driving licence, and want to be put on my mums insurance. Of the people who have done this, could you let me know roughly how much it will cost, and can I pay in installments. The cheapest quote I have had is 72.50 , but it seems I would have to pay that all in one go, which I can't really afford to do at the moment. Does anyone know anywhere cheaper where I could pay in installments. Thanks Guys""

Affordable cheap dental insurance?

I'm 21 and need dental insurance.. I need to be able to see a dentist if I need to and would like braces so that % off with the dental would be great . What are some affordable dental insurance plans for myself? thanks!

""How much should my car insurance be, is there a downpayment?""

I am 16 and i am a boy :) I have good grades but not quite a 3.0 My car is a really old Toyota tercel, Its a v4. I would be going under my moms plan. Thanks :)""

Does anyone have a Pontiac G6 GTP?? i need to know how much car insurance are on the them?? please let me know

Where do you get cheap car insurance in Northern Ireland?

Hi Folks, I'm moving from Dumfries in Scotland shortly to Northern Ireland, my car insurance is going to double in price, just wondering where the best place to get insurance quotes, I tryed NI Compare and it was actually more expensive than Go Compare, many thanks""

""Where Can i Get Non-Owner's Insurance in Austin, Texas?""

Where Can i Get Non-Owner's Insurance in Austin, Texas?""

What is a good affordable medical insurance for the California Area?

What is the average cost of car insurance for an 18 year old female in California?

Do I need to change car insurance?

Right now Im going to school in tampa while my home town is about 2.5/3 hours away. Im currently residing in the dorms on campus but next semester (january) I was going to move into an apartment. I know Ill have to change my drivers license but will I have to change my car insurance policy too? I know one of my classmates did and it went up considerably because of the move to tampa.

Who provides motorcycle insurance for 17 year old?

I need to know who will provide insurance for a 17 year old male in Alabama. The bike I want is street legal; it is a Roketa 2009 200cc.

Life Insurance Companies?

Please give me the names of the five best life insurance companies.

How does Driver's License affect insurance in Washington State?

I'm 18 and just recently moved in with my grandparents so I can go to school. I would like to get my driver's license, but they are telling me I can't because it would make their insurance rates go up. I don't think that makes any sense because I don't have a car, and I don't drive theirs. Would me getting a driver's license affect them at all actually?""

Cheap car insurance for 7 star driver?

Is a subaru wrx a good car for an 18 year old?

I'm 18 and I'm thinking about buying a wrx. It has 150000 miles with maintenance history and was run on high octane gas... seems to be mechanically taken care of. It needs a new paint job but I don't mind the project. Is it hard to drive this car on 5spd for people who have minimum manual experience? (i can drive a manual but I haven't had much practice) I plan on taking care of it and running it easy. How much does insurance increase if there's a lein in the car? Is it difficult to transfer leins? Car has 6600 left on lein and its a 2003.

Question about car insurance?

Classic car insurance?

I'm a young driver, no previous accidents, honor student, plan on driving something close to, if not exactly, a 1965 Type 2 Volkswagen Bus and can't find much information on insurance. I've queried my insurance agent, but I'm a bit impatient for results, haha, and also I'd like to see what other people with classic cars have done about this dilemma. :) Thanks for reading.""

How much would car insurance cost?

I am almost 16 and am going to buy my uncles 2010 Chevy Camaro SS with 700 plus horsepower and would like to know how much it will cost to insure it thanks

How to get insurance in california for a used car?

I bought a car in auction in california, I filled up forms for registration and paid the fee there, But the car is not insured, What should i do to get the car insured, Is it legal to drive in california without insurance ?""

Which US states make health insurance obligatory?

Which states make it's citizens take out private health insurance?

Getting insurance for a car?

my step daughters cousin is buying her a used car. tiffany does not have a license yet. she has her learners permit. we live in pennsylvania. her cousin does not want the insurance in her name she wants my step daughter to get it. can you get insurance without a license? she lives with her dad, can she get on his policy? would she automaticaly be on her cousins insurance since she will own the car? thank you""

Why do people ask yahoo answers about car insurance quotes.?

When its so much quicker, easier and obviously more accurate to either call insurance company or do an online quote.""

How much roughly with motorcycle insurance be for me?

Im 17 and looking to see how much insurance is for when i get my motorbike. Im looking to get a 125CC motorbike second hand nothing fast. How much roughly do you think? Im don't care if the insurance is only for theft and accidents coverage. the bike will be stored in a garage and be locked up.

Flood insurance?

Looking to possibly buying a house inside a flood zone and I'll need flood insurance. Any idea on what that might cost me? Thanks.

How much should my car insurance be a month?

I am 19 and I drive a 2003 Jeep. I've been with Geico for 1.5 years & my policy price has went up two times! When I called to ask why it would go up they explained that it was nothing to do with me or my driving record (seeing how I've never had a wreck or a ticket) but that it depends on the claims from other people. I know this is how some things work, but I don't think I should be pentilized for someone else's claims. Is this how every car insurance works or is it just Geico? I'm going to start calling around to today to get quotes...but I wanted to hear from people other than a sales person.""

""Worried about getting insurance for a car, when i have bad credit!?""

Is it right that in the UK, some insurance providers can refuse to give you insurance if you have a bad credit rating?? I'm panicing that i wont be able to get insurance when i pass my test!!""

Cost to Insure Skyline.?

got a R34 GT-r. maybe thinking about downgrading to a GT-s R33 cuz i the insurance is a little ridiculous. $640 Thats full coverage and im only 19 :P turnng 20 soon. Which would be more to insure and what you think it would cost to insure the R33? I do have 1 speeding ticket and one wreckless driving back when i was 16.

About health insurance?

My job health insurance is to high, I need affordable insurance do anyone one how I can go by getting it""

Short term car insurance quotes?

Hi, are there any car insurance companies that can offer car insurance for a short term (6weeks) for young drivers? Im 19 and had my license since april now, but not been able to get my own car as im going to uni in september and cant afford to buy and insure one for a year. My boyfriend has just got a new car and is offering his old car to me for the weeks before uni to get to work etc so im after insurance for 6 weeks only but all the ones i have looked at wont insure a young driver. I wanted to go with Diamond insurance as they are cheapest for me but not sure if they will offer me short term cover. Help!""

Best health insurance company?

Can someone recommend a health insurance company in CA that has affordable rates? Recently lost my job and need insurance for me and my family.

What is the Cheapest Homeowners Insurance for Senior Citizen?

My elderly neighbor has had her homeowners insurance cancelled because she couldnt afford to pay it. She is on a fixed income and her children do not help in any way. She owns her home but is having a hard time with paying the large payments. her mortage company says that if she doesnt take out her own insurance then they will purchase it for her at a cost of 2100.00 per year. This is way too much for a Senior citizen. i got a quote for her from progressive for 2600.00. Are there any cheaper alternatives?

How much can i sue and get from car insurance for pain and suffering for $6000 worth of medicals?

Who makes the best affordable medical oxygen concentrator?

portable preferred

Can I buy 1 months insurance ? ( under 21)?

Hi all, Been looking around for 1 -2 months insurance cover for under 21 in the Uk. It's been difficult to find anything on the internet. Can I actually buy this? Or would I just have to buy yearly Insurance? Any help would be much appreciated. Thanks in advance.""

Do motorcycles require insurance in georgia?

Car insurance help for teens?

im getting my drivers license this summer and next year november we have an extra car that a hundai that we can trade in to get a new car i was wondering if i buy a Mitsubishi lancer es or even something better would my insurance go sky high??

Help with Car Insurance?

My current car insurance will expire tomorrow at 11:59pm and the new one will take effect at 12:01am. Am I going to have an issue with that 1 minute of non coverage? I know this might sound silly but I just don't know if that will be some kind of an issue. Any help is appreciated. Thank you.

""Car insurance help, 16 yrs old?""

hey, so im 16 yrs old. I live in florida, have above a 3.0, took driver safety classes and everything, and im thinking about getting a 1995-2000 v6 camaro as my first car. Problem is, about 4 or 5 months ago, some asshole in a truck with a trailer crashed into me while i was driving and my parents got ****** on insurance, and the court just now ruled it wasnt my fault, but i know its still going to affect my insurance. If i go under their plan, have them as the lead and im just an off-driver, as it will be a school only car, how much do you think the insurance would be? im just looking for a medium range, i know everyone can't get specifics, im just trying to see if its worth it or not. i think with me on both cars now they had to pay $150 dollars more now, they said it would usually be more, but since they have been with them for over 30 years or something they get a discount.""

Question about newborn insurance coverage under the mother's plan?

With the birth of my first two children, any claims that were submitted to the insurance company for the first 30 days were paid under my plan. After that, I could elect to add them to my policy or not. I had a baby 30 days ago and they're denying his claims. I've called Humana (a new insurance for me since the birth of my first children) and they assured me that the claims for him would be paid, and that they would NOT add him to my policy (he has separate insurance). I was just at Humana's website searching for a provider (for myself) and it appears they've added him and made my deductible of $2,000 go up to $4,000 (family coverage). Is this correct? I thought it was state or federal law or something that newborns are covered under the mother's policy for the first 30 days. Can someone help?""

How much would insurance go up for a newer used car?

I drive a 1988 Lincoln Mark VII. I wanted to know how much more my insurance would go up if I got a 1996 Buick Regal?

Cost for insurance license?

What is the total cost for obtaining a insurance license in California? Taking into consideration the exam, background check fees, etc? PLEASE..answer if you truly know. And tell me other essential information that I should know such as the time that it takes to finish the courses.""

Question about car insurance?

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/am-i-covered-my-car-insurance-park-illegally-grover-metzler"

0 notes

imagine-loki · 5 years ago

Text

The Slutty Webs one Weaves

Title : The Slutty Webs one Weaves

Chapter NO. 5 of 10?

ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine Loki’s Asgardian wife learns women write fanfiction about him on a trip to Midgard. She’s edgy for the duration and lets him have it when they get back.

Author: lokilover9

Rating: M

Thor agreed Brianna going to Asgard a good idea as Loki presumed and shielded her from Heimdall's sight as a precautionary measure. Before leaving, the brother's sat observing Little Warrior lead Tony and Pepper to the couch and hand him a usb stick.

"What's this?" He asked.

"A computer virus. My revenge plan was to disembowel Jarvis if you hadn't kept your promise."

Stark eyed Loki who shrugged a shoulder. "Don't look at me. I only learned of it this morning."

"It's my creation, pretty nasty and should be destroyed." Said Brianna.

"How nasty?"

"It bears the potential to wipe out most of New York's power grids."

Tony was momentarily speechless. "I'll do that and am overjoyed you two became friends."

"Me too and sorry for being so rude when you touched my stuff."

"It's alright." Said Pepper.

"No it wasn't. You deserve to know why. Loki mentioned the homeless people right?"

"Yes."

"Dory was the first one I met. Taught me handy street smarts and helped shop for my boy clothes. Ran away from home because her moms boyfriend was a jerk. I encouraged her to call one day and when she learned they split up, convinced her to go home. Really smart person. Dreams of becoming an Astronaut. Anyway, she had a big crush on Captain America and gave me her favorite hat as a gift. Then I met Muriel. A mean looking older lady who was actually super sweet and protected me something fierce. Beat this guy up one night for trying to steal my blanket while cursing him sideways. She loved Chinese food and taught me self defence techniques, like how to poke a hole in someone's brain by shoving a chopstick up their nose."

Everyone's ears and attention piqued as Tony wondered if Muriel was a distant cousin of Sasquatch's. "Hopefully not on live subjects."

"No, silly. On a plastic skull she molded a face onto with clay. I paid for the supplies. Helping police identify people used to be her job in Arizona. Great way to kill zombies though. Best to behead them like with vampires and guarantee they've bit the bullet." Brianna then pulled a gold bracelet with a four leaf clover charm from her pocket. "Muriel was Irish and gave me this for good luck. It's too big so I carry it in my pocket. Before meeting you guys, they were the first people who were super nice to me. I fretted their gifts ruined in the wash."

"I'm sorry." Said Pepper.

"It's okay. I was just a little freaked."

'And nearly built a cave for the abominable snowman.' Thought Stark. "We were more worried about you after the fact."

"I could tell by your happy dance when I woke."

"Hey, badass did one too. In the hall. You didn't see."

Brianna giggled. "Thanks to you both for everything and I'm sorry for lying."

"Meh, we understand."

"I meant about not having a favorite Avenger. It's you uncle Cootyoodles. That's why I sought your help first. The Black Widow was my next stop."

Tony pictured Nat teaching her how to yank teeth out with pliers and felt twice as relieved for keeping that promise. "Nat's eccentric and hates zombies. I'm way more fun." Brianna suddenly hugged him tightly and kissed his cheek. "Awe, Little Warrior. Friends forever?"

"Damn straight!" Then she did the same to Pepper. "I forgot to explain why you're a badass role model. Working so hard to become CEO of a massive company like Stark Industries and executing all that embodies? You rock! I hope to grow up as astute, diligent and athoritative. Maybe I'll run a company one day."

"You already possess those traits and will exceed my achievements."

No one knew that better than Loki who cleared his throat. "Grandmother and Grandfather go to bed early, Min Lille."

"One more minute, please?"

"Alright."

She studied Stark, pondering the best way to implement her request. "You don't have to do this, but… Not all homeless people are bad or crazy like others seem to believe. Many hit hard times and the world is so expensive, they couldn't keep up. No one I met lived on the streets because they wanted to. There just aren't enough shelters or resources available. You're rich Tony and could help them. Will you try?"

As Loki had succeeded with Frigga, those beautiful pleading eyes won her case. "You really know how to pull a guys heart strings, kid. I promise."

Loki wasn't aware she'd intended to ask this, yet was so proud of her. "Min Lille?"

"I know." She politely replied.

"You have to go." Tony suddenly stood and darted for the hall. "Be back in a jiffy."

"Meet him by the elevator, or you'll never leave." Suggested Pepper.

He returned and handed Loki a loaded Iron Man backpack. "More things? Shall I conjure a crate for the bifrost?"

They'd already given her an overstuffed suitcase of clothes and toys and Stark held a gift bag in hand. "Be quiet, you. It's a peanut butter stash. Does Asgard have bananas?"

"Yes." 'Thank the Norn's.'

Tony knelt before Brianna. "I would've packed some tater tots, but you ate them all again."

She smirked. "My goof."

"Rascal. Try to ignore a wee, bitty smidgen, you aren't into girly stuff? We couldn't help ourselves with you off to Asgard."

Brianna pulled from the bag a pink baseball cap that said Warrior Princess in tiny diamond gems and proudly adorned it. "You sure know how to pull a girls heart strings."

"I put some Motown CD's in there too. Teach Dad to moonwalk." Loki sighed, pushed the elevator button and Tony playfully whispered. "From a distance. In case he trips over his own big feet." He hugged her again and summoned Jarvis.

"Yes, sir?"

"Our friend is leaving."

"Goodbye, Little Warrior." Said the AI.

"Bye. Sending you a virtual hug."

She joined Thor inside while Loki shook hands with Tony, his expression saying everything. "Any time. Now get the 'bleep' out of my Tower before I thieve your Daughter."

Brianna shouted as it closed. "There's presents on your bed! I'll miss you!"

Peppers was a black t shirt with gold letters that read Badass Role Model and Tony's was a monsterous box filled with tater tots.

"Don't do it, Butch. If you cry, I'm gonna cry." ***** Loki had purposely slowed the elevator allowing her time to give Thor a drawing.

"Mjolnir in a field of flowers? Thank you fair maiden."

"It's a scratch n' sniff."

"A what?"

Loki picked up Brianna. "You scratch the flowers, then sniff them. The effect is most appealing the stronger you inhale."

Thor took a whiff and wriggled his nose. "Quite the nostril tickler. What should they smell like?"

"Try harder." 'Doofus.'

He took another, looked cross eyed at Loki and began swaying. "...Brother..you…" Then down he went striking the floor with a thud the tip of his nose covered in sparkly dust.

"Sorry, uncle Thor."

Loki chuckled at her wince. "The spell is mild and shall soon wear off."

"Is he hurt?"

Loki let her down to hurle the hefty Thor over his shoulder. "Us God's are resilient. Your uncle once endured a skirmish with the Hulk." After escorting them through a portal and delivering Brother oaf to his bed, he lead Brianna through a second into some woods.

"That was awesome! Will you teach me how to do it?"

"Not in the near future. It's very complicated, darling and I'd hate to think you lost in another dimension." 'Or vanishing one day as an angry teen with a troublesome suitor I dream of throttling.'

"Okay." Brianna nervously scanned the area. "Now what? Carnivores hunt these woods."

"Northern Alberta is home to many. Never go outside without me and none will harm you."

"But wolves hunt in packs and grizzlies are bigger than you."

He booped her little nose. "I'll smell them before they smell us and neither possess deadly weapons in interdimensional pockets."

"Where our luggage is? I tried hiding bigger items in them and the darn things wouldn't come back. Hannah was furious, but I didn't care."

"What did you hide?"

"The back wheels of her Lamborghini, Gallardo. I overheard my Mother tell Claudia she got it from her rich boyfriend."

Loki recalled from spending time with Stark this wasn't a billionaire's vehicle, yet financially unattainable to the average Midgardian. "I see. Did she mention his occupation?"

"Plastic surgeon."

Brianna deserved that minor victory and although he wouldn't encourage it, one cannot preach vengeance a negative path when mapping their own. 'Perhaps he'll be useful to the sluts after I'm done.' "Ah. Care to see what I did while you slept last night?"

"You left me?" She confusedly asked.

He picked her up again. "It was necessary and I returned, yes? I won't abandon you, Og Min Lille."

"Never?"

"Never, darling. "Loki headed for a shack nearby nestled amidst some bushes. With its crooked roof, faded wood and door minus a hinge the structure looked ready to collapse.

"We're staying there?"

"Why not? I'll conjure an outdoor toilet." He teased. "Sheltered of course."

"Ewww."

"Come now. At night we'll have heated beds and during the day, roast squirrels on an open fire."

She scrunched her face in disgust. "Blech! I'd rather eat tree bark."

"You'll get an awful tummy ache."

They entered the dingy space and Brianna instantly focused on the filthy floor covered in forest debris. So intently, she didn't notice the sturdier frames of the structure only visible from within. "How will we keep the door closed and is that poop?"

Loki rolled his eyes at some turds in a corner. "The cabin is made of Brazilian Ebony."

"One of the strongest woods on earth." She commented.

He arched an intrugued brow. "Stained to appear aged, it's also bulletproof in light of human hunters. Consider the other materials deceiving movie props. The 'raccoon' poop is genuine." It vanished with a wave of his hand. "Now, did you mean that door?" It closed and he conjured a deadbolt onto the surface with a panel directly above. "Place your hand in the center?" Brianna did and it glowed green, spreading magic from the center throughout every surface like glowing, emerald fireflies. As they dimmed, Loki turned around. "Or this one?" The floor, suddenly cleared of debris had a sliding glass door in the center.

Brianna gasped in wonder, glancing between him and the mystery beneath. "Where does it go?"

"Did you think a sorcerer Prince would allow his Princess daughter to dwell in a shabby old shack?"

"Ancestry aside, I sincerely hoped not. Even an RV would've been better."

He chuckled at her frankness. "And you worried of uncle Thor bumping his head? The shacks purpose was added safety should a need arise and to keep our secret entrance hidden. "Once the outer door locks, only the interior alters. To outsiders, nothing changes." It opened and he carried her down a mutedly lit spiral staircase, each step progressively illuminating the space below.

At the bottom, she slid from his arm in awe. "Shut the front door! You 'definitely' have to teach me how to do this."

Min Lille was referencing conjuring. Another ability Loki thanked the Norns she didn't yet possess, having confessed so before requesting Tony and Pepper's gifts. "In time. Beyond that archway, another surprise awaits." Loki followed and suddenly pondered Brianna conjuring a future dwelling for herself and that troublesome suitor. 'Lessons commence when your forty.' ***** Thor woke to find two notes in his shirt pocket. One for himself the other, Astrid; 'Sleep well, Brother? We won't be returning to Asgard just yet. Please give this to my wife? I recommend waiting several days, discreet delivery and a hasty exit. A visit will follow and when interrogated, lie. Tell her Brianna came to you and don't mention her ice concoction. Unless you enjoy Father's company when several fries short of a happy meal. As I planned our escape without Tony's knowledge, do avoid his unnecessary panic and Pepper seeking our demise, by not telling our dear friend? Min Lille is safe.'

"That shyster." He grumbled. Jane returned in six days as would Astrid to a missing Loki. Waiting risked a molotov cocktail interrogation. His beloved and coronary inducing sister-in-law, banging down their locked bathroom door while the mighty Thor coward behind a shower curtain. Plus Maxi Waxis training schedule ended in two days. Bribery assured those lips zippered, but Heimdall would think his hastiness suspicious. He called to the trainee in the middle of the night, snuck into the palace and raced back to the observatory like the looney tunes road runner. "Spend it well nincompoo..eh he, Max. Asgard is lucky to have you."

Guilt ridden over her outburst and already missing Loki, Astrid returned in the morning to find the note.

Frigga was preparing to join her belly dancing instructor when she barged into the foyer and flung herself at the Allmother.

"Bwaaahahaa! I want a divorce!"

"Hells bells and bilgesnipe testicles. What has my shameless son done this time?"

"Frigga, your language." Scolded Odin.

She patted Astrid's back. "Oh shush. As if your cursing hasn't scarred the servants ears."

#Loki #others #submission #Submitted fic #The Slutty Webs one Weaves #lokilover9 #chapter 5

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