#Also if I remember correctly none of these guys are good with horror?

[pomellon]

Yeah Dead Space hyper fixation is really going brrr and I be think of aus 

[animeomegas]

Omega!Sasuke - Domestic headcanons

Anon: I love your omega sasuke writings!! Their sooo cutee!Could I ask for fluffy domestic headcannons with omega sasuke and his mate pleeasee!

(Thank you so much! My omega!Sasuke writings have become something of a feature of this blog heehee. This ask is the oldest one I have, so I apologise for the wait <3<3 Enjoy)

Warnings: None.

Sasuke is not the most domestically skilled (although he’s not bad either), but he is definitely a homebody.

Sasuke is just the happiest when he’s at home. There’s no pressure, no judgement, no expectation, and for those reasons, it’s his favourite place to be.

And to share that space with someone he loves and cherishes makes him very happy. 

I want to write this by taking a look at a perfect day at home when neither Sasuke nor his mate has to work. 

Morning

Sasuke has always been an early riser. Never in his life has he been able to sleep in. Whether it was following his brother around, training, nightmares, or missions, Sasuke considers 7:30 am a lie in. Most people disagree with him. 

But something that has changed compared to all those times, is that now he likes to spend a few extra minutes in bed, taking in his alpha’s scent, and revelling in the warmth of another person. (He also sometimes leaves a few kisses on his alpha’s face but will deny it if he’s caught.)

Sasuke gets out of bed, gets dressed and goes downstairs silently. He always makes a pot of tea. 

Sasuke finds a great interest in tea as he gets older. He enjoys finding rare blends and brings back tea whenever he goes travelling. 

He sits and enjoys his tea on the porch in the peace and quiet of the early morning.

When he’s done, he waters the plants in your garden, mainly tomato plants.

He had started a small tomato garden after prompting from you and his therapist. Sasuke thought it was stupid, but you convinced him to give it a shot. After experiencing so much death, curating life was like a breath of fresh air. 

As an introvert, Sasuke enjoys spending this time by himself in the mornings.

When he’s done, he heads back into the kitchen and starts to cook breakfast for the both of you. 

And he can never keep the smile off his face when he feels your arms snake around his waist.

“Morning,” you whispered, leaning you head on Sasuke’s shoulder and watching him fry some fish. 

“Morning.”

“Did you sleep okay?” 

Sasuke hummed in the positive as you started to place kisses on his neck. You buried your face into his neck and took a deep breath. Sasuke huffed and pushed your face away.

“Go be useful and lay the table.”

You laughed and pulled away from him to do as you were asked, but not before giving him a slap on the behind. Sasuke rolled his eyes at your behaviour and swatted you away.  

Sasuke is the sort of cook who is very good at cooking a small collection of meals and as such, tends to lean towards traditional meals, the kind his mother used to make for him. For breakfast, he always makes fish, rice and miso soup.

You both always eat breakfast at your dining table. If you ever suggest eating it in bed or on the sofa, Sasuke will judge you heavily. He’s a dining room table only kind of guy.

Sasuke is very traditional in a lot of ways, and his mother and father always taught him that meals were eaten at a table.

 Afternoon:

The afternoon, the perfect time for errands and cleaning. According to Sasuke, anyway.  

As long as he doesn’t bump into anyone he knows, he actually finds running errands pretty relaxing.

Unfortunately, he almost always bumps into someone he knows, so you’re on errand duty, and Sasuke will stay safe inside his own house and clean.

He gives you a list of things to pick up. The list is very extensive and specific. And Sasuke will be grumpy if you buy the wrong kind of thing.

While Sasuke doesn’t have the largest repertoire of meals he can cook, he’s very good at cleaning.

He likes to keep a minimalist, traditional style, very similar to the style of the house he grew up in. This style only works with a tidy and clean house.

Sasuke gets stressed if his home space is messy, so he tidies and cleans every day unless he’s on a mission.

If he is on a mission and the house isn’t at least mostly clean when he gets back, he gets salty about it.

 “Sasuke!” you called out. “I’m back, can you help me with the bags?”

 He immediately shunshined next to you.

 You swore in surprise, dropping the bags that you had cradled in your arms.

 Sasuke was unperturbed, catching them smoothly with a muttered, “Don’t drop the bags,” before sweeping them into the kitchens.

 You stared after him from a moment.

 “’Don’t drop the bags’,” you mocked him under your breath.

 “I heard that.”

 You ignored him, walking into the perfectly clean kitchen. He managed to clean everything before you were done shopping? You shook your head in disbelief. Before you lived together, you would never have pegged Sasuke as the neat freak type, but he absolutely was. You can still remember the horror on his face when you spilled wine all over the tatami mats in your bedroom. You laughed lightly at the memory.

 “Did you pick up the aubergines?” Sasuke asked, rifling through the bags.

 “Yes, of course.”

 “And the green tea?”

 You huffed out a laugh and rolled your eyes.

 “I got everything you put on the list, Sasuke, I promise,” you put your hands on his shoulders, leaning down to kiss him to shut up his nagging.

 Sasuke sighed quietly into the kiss, bring his arms up to wrap around your waist.  Eventually, you broke the kiss, but continued to rest your forehead against Sasuke’s.

 “The house looks amazing by the way, thanks for cleaning it,” you whispered.

 “If it was up to you, we’d live in squalor, so someone has to do it,” he grumbled, trying to cover up the pleased blush covering his face at your compliment.

 You just shook your head, leaning down to steal another kiss from your grumpy husband.

 Evening:

Evenings with Sasuke are very calm.

He enjoys an evening of coexisting while working on different tasks.

Maybe you’re sewing something and Sasuke is reading a book, his head on your lap.

Or perhaps you decide to do some writing while Sasuke gets some work done, shoulder brushing together.

He’s not one for talking, but casual physical affection with his alpha is something Sasuke loves.

Evenings like this after long missions, Sasuke often falls asleep on your shoulder, leaning instinctively into the warmth and comforting smell.

If he’s in a good mood, sometimes you can hear a few purrs escape, which is the cutest thing ever of course.

Sasuke’s purr is very quiet generally, but it’s a lovely sound. Every time he does it, it just fills you with a warm feeling.

Peaceful coexistence really it Sasuke’s bread and butter.

 You sat as still as possible on the sofa, supressing a smile as you felt Sasuke’s head get heavier and heavier on your shoulder. He was falling asleep.

 When you had first met, he wouldn’t have trusted you to tell him the time correctly, but now? Now, simply being in your presence put him at ease enough that he simply fell asleep.

 You turned ever so slightly to press a gentle kiss to his head. His hair was still slightly damp from his bath. He smelt clean and a little sweeter than normal. Sasuke had tried out a new shampoo when the shop had run out of his favourite one. You made a note to tell him that you preferred this one; it mingled much better with his natural scent.

 You looked out the window briefly, noting how dark it had become. You had to get yourself and Sasuke into bed soon, but you just didn’t have the heart to wake him up.

 The silence was suddenly broken by a quiet purring sound.

 Sasuke was purring into your neck.

 Well, now you definitely couldn’t wake him up.

 You could feel the vibrations from Sasuke’s chest on your arms, while his steady breathing tickled the hairs on your neck. You sighed in resignation. Guess you were stuck here for a little longer, not that you were complaining, of course.

 You grabbed a book from the side table to entertain yourself while Sasuke slept peacefully on your shoulder. Peaceful rest didn’t come often for Sasuke, so you weren’t going to be the one to ruin it.

[giorno-plays-piano]

Heartache

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Soldat!Reader

Warnings: yandere, obsession, kidnapping, captivity, torture, brainwashing, delusional Bucky.

Words: 2535.

Summary: You don't need the one whose name was Bucky Barnes, a hundred years old broken man who returned back to the world that couldn't offer him anything but regrets and nightmares. You need your Soldier, the one who won't return to you even if you throw Bucky back into that iron chair and fry his brains for the thirtieth time.

P.S. I have to say it turned out darker than I expected. Attention! Bucky is free from his programming, but he does not heal as he should. 

__________________

“You look old.”

You decide to give him the pleasure of hearing your voice. It sounds dull from behind the glass when Bucky comes closer, looking at someone he recognizes too well, but you do not recognize a man he became, nothing reminding you of the one with whom you once shared your bed.

You know what the man looking at you through the glass thinks. You didn’t age a day since the last time he saw you, and while he knows why, it still surprises him to see a young woman watching him calmly as if all those years didn't pass.

“You miss your star.” You say, tilting your head to the side and narrowing your eyes at him when you see his new vibranium arm.

“It doesn't matter.” His answer is immediate, and Bucky isn't surprised to hear the raw anger in his own voice: he is no longer the Soldier you knew, and he is worried he won't find a way to interact with you. You don't seem too interested in Bucky Barnes and whoever he works for despite the fact you are hardly HYDRA's soldier yourself.

What he doesn't know is that you still stay the soldier you have been once, and nothing will ever change that regardless of whoever Bucky Barnes sends your way to cure you from HYDRA's conditioning.

"I'm glad you remember me."

You find it peculiar: a man who has been trying so hard to get rid of anything that ties him to the Winter Soldier has been looking for you for years, finally tracking you down, capturing you and bringing you here as if your pure existence didn't remind him of the worst years of his life. What did he expect to find? A comfort in someone who once had been paired with him just for the sake of research?

"Don't bother, Mr. Barnes. There's nothing there left for you."

You see he's taken aback because you have hit a nerve. Apparently, James Buchanan Barnes thought the connection between the two of you remained the same, and he could dig up the feelings that had long been buried. Stupid, you think, he's forgetting the most important part: he is not the man you formed the bond with. You don't need the one whose name was Bucky Barnes, a hundred years old broken man who returned back to the world that couldn't offer him anything but regrets and nightmares. You need your Soldier, the one who won't return to you even if you throw Bucky back into that iron chair and fry his brains for the thirtieth time.

It doesn't matter. After all those years you didn't believe in happy endings, and even if the man watching you through the glass think he is going to get one after getting out, he is clearly deluding himself.

Averting his eyes, Bucky clears his throat and changes the topic, trying to give himself a false hope he can mend things. “I will convince Shuri to treat you. She helped me break through the conditioning, and she will do the same to you."

You could raise your brow at him, but maintaining this facade is tiresome and doesn't make sense. "I see you have no idea how much my conditioning differs from yours. You can't break through it. It's embedded in me."

"I thought so, but I got rid of mine. You can do it too, I'm sure."

Although you see him trying to assure you, Bucky's getting agitated because he really has no idea what HYDRA did to you. He couldn't know it when he still was the Soldier, but now the lack of his knowledge leads you to the thought your former masters destroyed whatever info they still kept - they foresaw he would search for you.

"Your brainwashing was flimsy. I've always wondered how come you were considered HYDRA'S greatest assassin when you just needed to see your dear friend once to start getting your memories back." You snort, knowing Bucky would feel a slight hint of jealousy in your voice, but you don't care: you've never hid from him you only needed the Winter Soldier, and he was gone.

Bucky doesn't know what to say as a part of him wants to scream there was nothing flimsy about electroconvulsive therapy he went through over and over again, but he looks at you and sees how different you are from him, having no memories of your own, not knowing even your name or the place where you came from. It doesn't scare him, but the fact you had long merged with the Soldier you've become does. You don't separate yourself from her the way he did. In fact, the Soldier had completely absorbed your true persona, and Bucky doesn’t know the real you. He only knows RED, a Soldat who at one point was been created by HYDRA just like all of them were. Despite searching for the information about your past for years, he found nothing, not even the year when you became a part of the organization. Bucky doesn’t think you did it willingly judging by the fact how you reacted when he had been training you among the other Soldiers, but he can’t be sure.

You’re a ghost. None of the masters who had been giving you orders know anything about you except your specialization and things you can do. Bucky supposes there were once people who knew the truth, but all of them are probably dead since the ones he has captured were utterly useless. His only hope is Shuri who might bring whatever is left somewhere deep inside your mind to the surface, yet he isn’t sure she will take you: the more you talk, the more it becomes clear you will not ask her to do it willingly, and Shuri won’t like that. The redemption can only be granted to someone who asks and works for it.

You don’t seem the type.

“What do you want me to do?” He asks you quietly, his forehead almost touching the glass separating you two when Bucky watches you with that pathetic expression of his. “If I let you go, you will return to people you serve. If I bring you to police, you will end up in a lab in the hands of the government.”

You allow him to see your smile as you observe him, desperately hoping you will tell him you will come back to the good guys and stay with him, playing a role of his funny little girlfriend because Bucky Barnes cannot allow himself to form an adequate relationship with any woman who has not been tainted the way he was. It probably seems so tragic to him that he had to spent years trying to catch you.

Although the chair you’re bound to doesn’t let you stand and come over to him, you still lean closer to the window, wearing the same polite but welcoming smile you used to lure your targets closer to you.

“I want you back in that chair, going through the whole process of brainwashing again until you become the Soldat you’ve been. I want you standing with me and feeling as much pain as I did until your sensitivity goes down to zero, and you no longer remember those funny friends of yours. I know you won’t trade your freedom and whatever else you have after getting out, but I don’t need James Buchanan Barnes or White Wolf or whoever you have become. I am RED of HYDRA, and I have bonded with the Winter Soldier you buried, Bucky.”

When he leaves, the massive metal door getting locked ten times the least, you stare at the grey wall beside the glass. You wonder how getting the privilege of remembering his past made him so miserable, a pathetic, broken man who did not understand how lucky he had been, not only breaking free from HYDRA’s grip but gaining his true identity back. He probably pitied himself, poor little boy who had been broken by the big bad guys. He did not understand that all other soldiers who came after him, except the suicide squad made with Stark’s serum, had been turned into ashes. There was nothing left to break in them - and you either.

_______________________

Shuri wasn’t happy to hear your story just like he thought, but Bucky couldn’t lie to her, hoping she would understand. Of course, she didn’t, telling him outright it was impossible to treat somebody who didn’t want to be treated. While it was also inhuman, forcing you to do something against your will just like HYDRA has been doing all these years, it also erased the possibility to use the same methods she chose when she treated Bucky.

“You don’t understand,” she tells him, shaking her head, “it’s not that I don’t want to help, but without her cooperating it’s close to impossible. They didn’t use the same ways to program her just like they did to you.”

He isn’t satisfied with her answer even though he knows Shuri wants to help. He can’t leave it like that, leave you to your fate, return you where you belonged, and he keeps asking who or what may be able to help you until she finally tells him something about electrical stimulation of the brain that can awake memories that you have buried. Shuri immediately regrets it, seeing how Bucky’s face lights up.

“It is a very complicated process that requires an extensive medical knowledge. Worse, even if performed correctly, this technique can traumatize her even further. Please don’t do this. We don’t even know if this method will be effective.”

Bucky doesn’t promise her anything, though a part of him feels guilty he made her tell him this. He just has to do it: undoubtedly, HYDRA or whoever you work for now will force you to go through the brainwashing process again, and whatever treatment Shuri told him about can’t be worse than this. If Bucky does everything right, you might stand a chance to live like he does, away from the horrors of the war you had been a part of ever since the organization abducted you. Even if you don’t want it, clearly it is an effect of the memory suppressing machine: any sane human being wants to have a normal life, right?

It takes him months to find and steal the equipment he needs, leaving no traces - it reminds him of the days when he had been under HYDRA’s control, but he does what he has to. Learning how to use the machine is a much more complicated task, but Bucky is grateful for that serum-enhanced brain of his: he nearly swallows the information from the books in record time, reading about sending a burst of electrical energy into your cerebral cortex to stimulate your brain and finally retrieve your memories. Now he knows what Shuri meant by traumatizing, but this doesn’t stop him either. He does what he has to do.

“What is your name?” He repeats after listening to your screams for ten or maybe twenty minutes, your body going limp in the black, cold chair when you open your mouth, breathing heavily, your face stained with tears and sweat.

“Dolores.” You say immediately, knowing he will repeat the procedure if you keep silent, your heat beating wildly. “I grew up... on a small farm in Iowa... I had an older sister... and slept with a big teddy bear with a red ribbon...”

“You are lying.” He says simply, and a jolt of electricity cuts through your head, nearly electrocuting you while you scream again and again.

For some reason he always feels it when you say what he wants to hear instead of the truth. What he doesn’t understand is that the truth he wants has been told months ago: you did not remember and you were not going to remember anything from your past. It was stupid to try. There was nothing left of you, and while he thought he was resurrecting a human in you, he was simply destroying your body that was regenerating every night after the therapy.

When you receive a new jolt, shaking and screaming, tears streaming down your face until they fall down onto your already wet t-shirt, you whisper through gritted teeth, “Either I will have you as my Soldat, or I will not have you at all.”

Bucky presses the button.

__________________________

When he is finished he takes you to a bath in the room next to your cell. You almost lose the ability to move for an hour or two, giving him time to prepare you: Bucky undresses you and slowly lowers your body in the tub filled with warm water, watching that you take a comfortable position and don’t slip, effectively suffocating. Today he had almost gone too far, risking to fry your brain: you still refused to give up even after two months of therapy you have gone through, and Bucky isn’t too happy.

Pouring a strawberry-scented shampoo on his palm, Bucky starts to carefully wash your hair that grew longer in the months of captivity, watching that neither shampoo nor the foam gets in your eyes. You are nearly breathless: the serum they gave you made you less stronger than him, but your regeneration abilities are on a whole different level, and soon your body will adjust and erase the damage made.

He asks himself whether keep using the machine makes sense since he didn’t make much progress, the programming still very much in you even after all those incredibly painful sessions. What if you were right from the start? What if there was nothing to remember, and all he could do was to leave you in the state you were in before he destroyed whatever was left of you?

No, he can’t do it. Leaving you means taking away your chance to ever get back to normal life, and he can’t force himself to do that.

Never in his life Bucky Barnes will admit letting you go meant never getting his own happy ending the way he wants it.

“Why reinventing the wheel when you can make it so much easier?” All of a sudden, your hoarse voice whimpers in his ear when you look at him, tiredly moving your head up. “Do what they’ve always done. Use the programming to give me an order.”

A part of him is shocked with the revelation: he wanted to be neither the Soldier nor the one giving him commands. But the other part makes him realize how much easier it would be if he just used what has already been done to you instead of relying on an obviously ineffective method that damaged your mind and body. Of course, he has nothing in common with Karpov sending him on the assassination missions. Bucky only wants you to learn how to become human again, free you from HYDRA once and for all, give you the life you undoubtedly wanted. Even if he uses the same method the organization did until he finds a better way to undo the programming, it is still for your own good.

___________

Tags: @finleyjayne​ @alexakeyloveloki​ @helenaeisenhower​ @villanellevi​ @hurricanerin​ @inlovewiththefictionalcharacters @chris-evans-indian-fanfic @navegandoaciegas @rosalynshields @brattycherubwrites @sllooney @angrythingstarlight @lookiamtrying @buckysbunny @soleil-dor @stargazingfangirl18 @dillybuggg @literate-lamb @cosicas-cuquis @sarge-barnes-sir @buckybarnesplumwhore @jaysayey @megzdoodle @gotnofucks @lux-ravenwolf @iheartsebandchris @ximebebx @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123 @sourpatchspinster

[soft--dragon]

Manhunt

Word Count: 1,311

Warnings: None

This is a SFW tickle fic, if you don’t like that then don’t read :)

"C'MERE SAPNAP!"

"LEAVE ME ALONE!"

Sapnap gave a yell of terror, only running faster to get ahead of the hoodie wearing mastermind chasing him.

"GEORGE! BAD! WHERE ARE YOU GUYS!?" Sapnap practically screamed.

"We're close! Don't die Sapnap! You have all our items!" George yelled back.

"I'M TRYING! WAIT DREAM! NO! IM ON HALF A HEART! HALF A HEART!"

Dream laughed manically, swinging his sword at Sapnap. "C'MERE!" He crowed loudly, eyes gleaming.

"NO! NOOOOOOOO!" Sapnap screamed when his character died, items thrown from his fallen avatar.

Dream cackled taking out his flint and steel and burning it all.

"No! Dream!" Bad yells in outrage almost drowned out by George yelling at Sapnap.

Sapnap tugged his headphones off angrily, gripping his hair. Damn Dream and his 1000 iq. He'd set a trap for the hunters leaving only him alive with the lunatic.

He could hear Dream's laughter through his headphones as well as his fellow hunters arguing with each other.

"Too easy!" Dream clapped his hands as he chuckled. "Too goddamn easy."

Sapnap glared at his floor. Dream was literally downstairs . An idea started to form in his head. He put his headphones back on.

"Guys, I have a plan" he said.

"Ooo you sound confident" Dream's voice had a teasing lilt in it.

"I am, cause I know it's gonna work" Sapnap replied smoothly. "Okay guys, don't worry about armor, just get some weapons and follow Dream. Be ready to attack him when I say so."

"No armour?" George repeated. "Are you trying to get us killed?"

"Nope, I'm trying to get us a win, just trust me, alright?"

After a confirmation from his hunters Sapnap stood from his chair.

"Sapnap you've sent them on a suicide mission" Dream snickered, "you've just set them up to die, what kind of plan is this?"

"You'll see Dreamie" Sapnap said, "guys, gonna go silent for a bit, just follow the plan."

He slipped off his headphones and crossed his room to the door. His steps were silent as he made his way downstairs to Dream's room. He could hear the older boy laughing and commentating through the door. He gripped the handle and carefully opened the door, grateful it didn't squeak and alert Dream of his presence.

Dream was laser focused on gathering materials, chipping into conversation between George and Bad. Sapnap snuck up behind his chair, a grin spreading across his face.

"-and besides George, Sapnap said to not get armour, stop messing up his plan!" Dream was saying.

Sapnap could just hear George's response through the headphones. "I'm not fighting you without it!"

"Aw come on Georgie, don't you trust him?"

"I do, I just don't trust you."

Sapnap glanced at Dream's screen to see George and Bad following Dream at a distance. Good.

"George, Bad get him now!" Sapnap ordered.

Dream flinched violently at Sapnap's voice, his head snapping round to stare at him. Sapnap dug his hands into Dream's sides before he could react further, making the boy gasp and break into laughter.

"Whahahat the hehehell Sapnahahahap?!" He cried, trying to get the younger's hands off of him.

"Get him boys! Get him!" Sapnap yelled over Dream's laughter.

"Sapnap what are you doing to him?" George asked as he and Bad's avatars ran towards Dream.

"Incapacitating him" Sapnap answered with a chuckle. "Turns out Dream here is very ticklish."

Dream was twisting in his chair, trying to find an escape route from Sapnap's fingers. His headphones slipped off his ears onto his shoulders. "Stohohop it! Sapnap thihihis is cheheheheating!"

"There's no rules about tickling Dream!" Sapnap shot back, moving up to scratch at his upper ribs.

Dream wheezed, squirming with new desperation. "Sahahahap- nohohohoho!" He curled in on himself, trying to protect himself.

"Aw, bad spot?" Sapnap teased.

Dream heard the familiar sound of being struck through his headphones and looked up to see George and Bad attacking his avatar.

"No! No no no! Guhuhuhuys stohohohop! Thihihihis ihihis unfahahahair!" He yelled.

"All is fair in love and manhunts Dream!" Bad laughed.

Dream grabbed his mouse, attacking the hunters making them scream and bolt.

"Sapnap! Tickle him again! Hurry! He's doing so much damage!" George cried.

Sapnap stuck his hands in Dreams exposed underarms, causing him shriek and slam his arms down. "Sahahapnahahap! Gehehet ohohout of thehehere!"

"You've trapped my hands Dream" Sapnap replied with a grin. "You want me to stop, you need to let my hands out."

"You'll just go somewhere else!" Dream yelled, squirming, his face getting pinker by the second.

"Try his stomach Sapnap!" George called through the headphones making Dream squeak.

"Fuhuhuck ohohoff Geohohohorge!" Dream growled but the giggles lacing his words didn't make it very threatening.

"Bad place if I remember correctly, eh Dream?" Sapnap smiled devilishly.

"You done this before Sapnap?" Bad laughed.

"Oh yeah, favourite past time by now."

"SHUHUT UHUHUP!" Dream yelled, trying to slide to the floor.

"Get back here Dream!" Sapnap got his hands out from Dream's underarms and scuttled his fingers all over Dream's stomach.

Dream's eyes widened, his whole body convulsing like he'd been electrocuted. "FUHUHUHUCK!"

"Language Dream!"

Sapnap heard Bad's yell through the headphones and chuckled. "Yeah Dream, language, you're upsetting Bad."

Dream shook his head, wheezes lacing his flustered giggles. The hitting sounds returned much to Dream's horror.

"No! Sahahapnahahap stohohohop! Plehehease!" Dream squealed, looking up at his computer to see his hearts decreasing.

He tried to sit up but Sapnap scratched his fingers close to his belly button and he crashed back down in new hysterics.

"Awww, this is really cute Dream, you can't even fight back" Sapnap grinned, laughing a little when he saw Dream's blush deepen.

"SHUHUT UHUHUP!"

"Damn Dream, I had no idea you were this ticklish" George snickered. "Sapnap and I are gonna gang up on you all the time when I move in."

"Oh hell yes" Sapnap grinned, leaning in close to Dream's ear. "Doesn't that sound like fun Dreamlee?"

Dream gave a whine through his laughter, covering his red face in his hands. "Yohohou're thehehehe wohohohorst."

"Bitch please, I'm the best" Sapnap retorted.

"Oi! Language!"

"Sorry Bad."

"How many hearts is he on?!" George asked, furiously attacking Dream.

"Two and a half! Come on guys, take him out!" Sapnap encouraged.

"NOHOHOHO! I REFUSE TO DIE LIKE THIS!"

Dream seemed to gain strength through the idea of losing. He reached behind him and tazed Sapnap's side making him yelp and flinch back. Dream grabbed his desk and yanked himself forward, grabbing his mouse and swinging his sword.

His character struck the two hunters, severely cutting their heart numbers down.

George did his signature, high pitched scream of terror, while Bad's voice did the opposite and dropped.

"DIE!" Dream shouted, taking them out with only a few hits.

A bang on a desk was followed by George's yell of "NO! WE WERE SO CLOSE!"

"DANG IT DREAM!" Bad cried, equally upset by the sudden turn of events.

Dream was fast to eat some bread, his hearts rising again much to his relief. He breathed heavily, leaning back in his chair to regain his composure. His face was still warm, his giggles still swirling his his chest, slipping out every so often. He then remembered who else was in the room with him. His chair turned slowly.

"Sapnap."

Sapnap had been backing up to the door. His eyes widened at Dream's low, dark tone.

"Uhhh" he nervously smiled. "D-Dream hey we're friends-"

"Oh yes, yes we are" Dream rose from his chair. "And we're also roommates, ya know what that means Sapnap?"

"Um..."

An evil smile pulled at Dream's lips. "It means you don't have anywhere to hide, we live in the same house."

Sapnap stared.

Dream cracked his knuckles. "Run."

Sapnap screamed, bolting out the door with a manically laughing Dream right behind.

"C'MERE SAPNAP!"

"LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"C'MERE!"

[darkshinsou]

Baking Fails with Sugawara Koushi, Sakusa Kiyoomi, Tendou Satori, Miya Osamu, and Ushijima Wakatoshi

Warnings: You are depicted as a housewife but other then that, none, pure fluff, full of love, will give you a cavity from how sweet it is

a/n: This is dedicated to @sugaslittleangel ( this is the recipe I based the melonpan on)

Sugawara Koushi:

Okay

This guy is literal sweetheart

You could have burned down the kitchen and all he would say is, "Well, I was thinking of remodelling anyways" <3

But any who

You wanted to make your lover cookies

Homemade cookies

So, you get all the ingredients and start making the dough

You didn't do the measurements correctly though, and the dough is kind of clumpy

Thinking that it won't matter, you roll the dough into little balls and set it on to the baking sheet

When the timer rings, you pull then out excitedly, only to pout

Why do they look so... Ugly?

You wait for the cookies to cool a bit before taking a bite of it and-

Oh my god, that is the worst cookie you haver ever tasted

You spit it out and decide that you'll add more oil and butter to the batter

That didn't turn out well

After trying a couple more times, you are close to tears in the middle of the kitchen floor

Only for Koushi to walk in on the mess you have created

And you crying on the floor

He crouches next to you and asks gently, "What's wrong, Sugar?"

You look at him and point at the mess

"I failed to bake you cookies" You sob

Hoe looks at the cookies and each pan looks different to the next

And what does this sweet little big shit do?

He eats them

A cookie from every. Single. Pan

And he eats them like they are the tastiest cookies he has ever had

After he finishes, he leans down and wipes the tears from your face

"Don't cry, Sugar. They are delicious. I love you"

He kisses you on the head and helps you stand up

"Now, let's clean this up"

Sakusa Kiyoomi:

You are an absolute sweetheart to him

And he loves it

You always make his bentos for lunch

You also make sure to add his beloved umeboshi and he's always greatful

So, when you are feeling extra ambitious, you decide to make melonpan

Which was probably not the smartest idea since you have never baked bread before

So, you start with the cookie dough, which is easy enough, and then the bread dough

Now this

This is when you done fucked up

But you didn't even realize it at the time

Music playing, you singing along, you didn't realise that you put too much flour

So, when you put the bread in and take it out, you stare in disappointment

The bread didn't rise

You figure that okay, fine, I'll just do it again

And you do

But this time, it was burnt

What's worse, you hear the door close and Omi calling your name

You freak and immediately go to stop Omi from coming into the kitchen

But you are too late

And Omi walks in on the disaster you made of the kitchen

He looks around, curious and somewhat annoyed

"What's... Going on, y/n?"

You look at him, then look away and mutter, "I was trying to make you melonpan, but it didn't go well..."

He sighs, "Y/n, you made a mess. Please clean it up"

You look at him and when you see the annoyed look on his face, you suddenly start crying

His eyes widen and automatically he's pulling you into an embrace, shh-ing you and apologizing

"I- I'm sorry, y/n. I didn't mean to upset you. It's just- practice was extra hard today. And Bokuto wouldn't shut the fuck up. Please, forgive me?"

"I'm sorry, too, Omi. Let me clean this up and get started on dinner. You go take your shower and relax, yeah?"

He let's go of you and shakes his head

"We'll clean this together, than you can prepare dinner"

You smile fondly at him and get to work

Tendou Satori:

Okay, so we all know that Tendou is a sweetheart

Especially you

So when you decide that you want to return the favor, you go out and buy ingredients for brownies

And get started immediately after kissing him goodbye

Tying the pink apron around your waist, you pour the ingredients into the mixing bowl

After you think it's mixed, you set them into the pan and stick then in the oven

When the timer goes off, you snatch the brownies out of the oven

After letting the brownies cool, you take a knife and go to take a piece to try it

But the brownie won't cut

You struggle to just get that little piece and when you do get it, it's hard as a rock

You don't know what you did to fuck it up this badly, but Tendou wasn't supposed to come home anytime, so you figure that as long as you clean up and hide the failure that you call brownies

Too bad Tendou got out early from work and decided to surprise you

Singing your name as he closes the door, he quickly rids himself of his shoes and starts looking for you

You, on the other hand, are freaking out

You don't want Tendou to know about your failed attempt at baking

But then he walks into the kitchen and grins while humming out

"Oh? Did you make me brownies, paradise? Well, don't mode if I do!"

He grabs the piece that you had cut out and finishes it like it was the most delicious thing he has ever had

You stared at him, confused

"Didn't that hurt to chew?"

Tendou shakes his head and goes to get another piece

"It's delicious, Y/N! Thank you for spending time and doing this"

You smile softly and hug him from behind

"I love you, Satori."

Miya Osamu:

Okay, albeit, you can't cook for shit

And you definitely can't bake

But you still wanted to make something for your lover

So you decide to make something easy

And that would be chocolate chip cookies

You mix the ingredients in the boil and brush it off when the dough looks a little liquidy

Not a word but whatever-

After setting them in the oven and setting the timer, you clean up the mess you left

When the timer goes off, you hop to it, fetching them out of the oven and setting them down

And-

Why do they looking so... Disgusting??

You wait for the cookies to cool down a bit before tasting one

And it tasted fine, if not a little bit off

But... They were so ugly

You sigh sadly and almost jump out of your skin when you hear someone ask

"Why the sigh, Y/N?"

You turn around, for getting about the cookies and grin

"'Samu!! What are you doing home so early?"

He smiles at you and walks the rest of the way to you, placing a kiss on your head while explaining the reason

"I closed the shop early today. Why does it smell so good in here?"

You frown when remembering the cookies and tell him

"I tried making you cookies, but they didn't turn out like I thought they would..."

He hums in acknowledgement and grabs a cookie from the sheet, biting into it and smiling

"They taste delicious, Y/N. Thank you"

You look up at him and silently thank the Lord for giving you such a lovely husband

Ushijima Wakatoshi:

You both can't bake for crap

Like, you've tried and tried

But they wither come out burnt or disgusting

But you decided that you would try one more time

So you start to make the batter for cake

Angel cake, to be exact

But the one thing you forgot about is that the center piece can be removed

So, after pouring the batter into the pan, you grab it by the top

And the batter goes everywhere

You watch in utter horror as the batter forms a puddle

You quickly go to grab a towel to and bowl

Scooping the batter into the bowl, you hear the door open

And now you are now full on panicking and ready to cry

Ushijima, on the other hand, is calling out your name and were you are

He searches the living room and bedroom before figuring out that you are in the kitchen

And that's were he finds you, scooping up batter while tears fall from your eyes

"I'm I'm really sorry, Toshi." You hiccuped and he stares in shock before kneeling down to stop you

"Go get cleaned up, sweetheart. Let me do this, okay?"

You nod your head and head towards the bathroom as he cleans up the mess

You change into shorts and his sweatshirt, wanting nothing more than to snuggle into his arms

He walks out when he's finished cleaning and finds you curled on the couch

"Sweetheart, I'm going to take a shower real quickly and than we can get takeout, watch some movies, okay?"

You nod and apologize one more time

"It's okay, honey. Just relaxed. I'll be out soon."

2 hours later and you guys are cuddling on the couch with your head on his chest

He was stroking your hair as you slept and he couldn't have asked for a better wife

[quillsink]

hi I know no one asked but I saw the few mentions of rocky horror picture show, and as someone who has seen it and fucking loses their shit regularly to the soundtrack:

I suppose you could argue it's transmisogynistic?

dr. Frank-n-furter identifies himself as a "sweet transvestite from transsexual transylvania" which doesn't really make sense lmao, but if I remember correctly the bitch was an alien and his planet was called transylvania?? or something like that it's been a while <3

but yeah, he's the villain of the show, and he's portrayed as a very feminine man who is a sexual deviant and also a murderer and is literally building a guy just to have sex with him

we all know the tired trope of a man in women's clothes being an unhinged murderer (none of them are actually trans tho. all of them are explicitly men in dresses, not that the narrow-minded public at the time (or even today) knew the difference) (see: silence of the lambs)

so while you can definitely say that rocky horror has Not Good aspects, I would personally say that it's camp and it's not supposed to be taken seriously (which of course doesn't stop some people but ya know)

it's also extremely important to consider the time it was produced in - the mid seventies' great new thing was glam rock! artists were playing around with gender expression, and androgyny was moving more into the mainstream!

rocky horror is also explicitly about the generational drift, the differences between the young people at the time and their parents. the main character couple the story follows are stereotypical 1950s highschool sweethearts, and over the course of the movie, they break free of those constrictions

it's very much social commentary, and that's one of my favourite parts of the movie tbh!

anyway uh sorry for breaking into your house and going the fuck off lmao

but! regardless of the time the movie was produced in and what the standard was for the lgbt+ community at the time (non-existent or villainised, even though rocky horror didn't really break that trend), you are allowed ro view it through today's lens and decide that you don't enjoy how it was handled! it was a big step back then, but I can certainly see how some things are yuck lol

okay now I'm done deepest apologies ect

Yeah “feminine man who is a sexual deviant” is generally some form of. Transmisogyny or homophobia yeah

I mean feminine man identifies as transsexual is a sexual deviant hhhhh yeah

Sjdjfj no need to apologise bestie!! But yeah I get how it can be different viewed now and then etc

[kz-i-co]

A Simple Favor

»Summary: Your best friend ends his relationship and ends up staying with you.

»Pairing: Han Jisung x Reader

»Genre: smut

»Words: 2.1k

» M.List

»A/N: let me know if you guys want this to be a series?

-

"Why the hell did you go in there? Tsk...you deserve to die then- ahh." You screamed as you heard a knock on your door that was perfectly in time with a random jump scare.

Your body was fighting every urge to get up and retrieve it but before you know it you heard your door close shut and foot steps coming closer. Your breathing picked up as you sat up staring at your hall and a shadow coming closer. As soon as the figure turned the corner you screamed throwing a pillow.

"It's just me." You heard the voice and immediately grew angry.

"JISUNG WHAT THE FUCK!!!" He was quick to sit next to you already hogging your blanket and eating your popcorn. "You can't just enter my place."

"You were taking forever and I know where your spare key is.

"You scared the shit out of me."

"Why are you watching Annabelle?"

"I like horror movies." You shrugged.

"Not me." He grabbed your remote changing it.

"Excuse me, who invited you?" You snipped taking your remote back.

"I always come to your place."

"It's fucking 12:30. Why are you here so late?"

"I have nowhere else to go."

"What do you mean? Plus you have Chris and Minh-"

"Nowhere I actually want to go." You were silence as you tried to put the pieces together.

"I broke up with Sohyun." He was looking at the tv. "I'm just fed up with her, she complains about everything, she's constantly yelling at me for every little thing, I just need a change."

"Have you ever thought that maybe this quarantine is just making you both nuts?" You suggested trying to sound optimistic.

"We've been fighting for months. But I'm sure it's not helping."

"I'm sure you just-"

"I'm sure." He cut you off. "Our relationship stopped feeling special for a while now, I just didn't want to believe it."

"I love you Jisung but you're really bringing me down." You slouched against the couch.

"Maybe if you turn off this evil doll movie, it will lighten my mood."

"Fine." You picked through different comedy titles until one crossed your sights.

"You looking for a roommate?" You looked at him pursing your lips not knowing what to say.

"My apartment is a one bedroom."

"I can stay on the couch."

"Doesn't your other friends have open rooms?" He just stared not answering. "I'll let you stay for a little bit so you can find your own place or moving back in with your girlfriend."

"I'm not moving back in with her." He quickly shut you down.

"You've been together for what....7 months? You really want to throw that away?"

"Thanks for reminding me....how could I be so stupid to move in with her, 7 months is way too soon."

"I don't understand, you two seem fine last time I saw you."

"I was dead inside." He laughed at his own joke. "No really she's fine one night and then the next she's pissed at me. I can't even remember the last time we kissed."

You couldn't help but feel sympathy for your friend. You never really liked Sohyun but that was none of your business.

"What about you (Y/N)?"

"We are never going to finish this." You teased.

"What about me?" You continued to ask.

"Who was your last boyfriend again? Wait...please don't tell me Sungjae."

"Yeah, so what?"

"That was over a year ago that's all." He looked back up front letting you unpause the movie.

-

It's been one week since you've let Jisung stay with you and it really wasn't as bad as you thought, especially during quarantine. He was a slob no doubt but he was actually nice about helping you stay tidy, but with a helping of sarcasm. He was your best friend after all and he was fun to be around, for the most part.

"Your bed is a queen right?"

"Yeah." You looked at him confused.

"Meaning you can fit two people in it."

"You ask about sharing my bed one more time, I will seriously toss your ass out."

He pouted. "No, I appreciate your couch, I just want to make sure you're not lonely."

"I'm perfectly fine thanks."

"Shall we rent a new movie?" You changed the subject. "Oh how about this?" You picked a comedy movie that had actors you recognized so you decided to complete the purchase.

Jisung has ordered food since he was grateful for letting him stay.

"This movie is unrealistic." Jisung complained.

"How?"

"They don't even like each other." He was referring to the sudden make out scene that was quickly turning more intense.

You always hated watching a movie with these type of scenes, it was always awkward no matter who you watched it with. In particular Jisung, who was fresh out of a breakup. He was clutching onto your pillow trying to stay still as he grew uncomfortable.

He sighed suddenly as he began by turning next to you. "I know you don't like to talk about it but I'm just curious."

"What?" You whined.

"When's the last time you did it?"

"Come on-"

"(Y/N) you know you can trust me with anything." And you could. Jisung was the only friend that you were an open book to, but you still couldn't help but feel embarrassed.

"I don't know, last summer."

"What?"

"Please shut up......this movie was a bad idea."

He was silent for a little while that it actually worried you, so you felt relieved when he began. "I have a proposition." You looked at him. "Why don't we just do it with each other, it's been awhile for the both of us."

You weren't convinced you heard him correctly.

"(Y/N), please I'm not into hook ups and it's a hard time to date right now."

"But we're friends."

"That's why it's perfect, we know each other more then anyone and it won't be weird since we trust each other."

"It's weird just talking about it."

"It's not weird, we just use each other for special needs and we can stay friends...no ties."

"Someone always gets hurt in these things, don't you watch movies."

"How are we going to get hurt, we've been friends forever and we're always honest with each other. If you don't like it we can stop."

"I don't know."

"I would never do anything to hurt you, you know that don't you?" You hated when he looked at you like that. Jisung was an emotional person and really was everything to you.

"Okay......" He smiled. "But I have conditions." His smile quickly dropped as he looked at you unamused.

"This is only between you and me. Don't tell anyone, not even your friends. Also if you happen to get back together with Sohyun, we end it."

"That won't happen but okay."

"And if things start getting weird between us, I want it to stop."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I just don't want this to change us."

"It won't." He said. "When can we start?"

"You're really bottled up aren't you?" You arched your eyebrows.

"You have no idea." You couldn't help but notice his already visible bulge. This movie just had to have explicit scenes didn't it?

"Bedroom or here?"

You rolled your eyes. "It don't matter."

"Would you rather do it in the kitchen?"

You playfully hit him. "Let's just go to the bedroom."

"In your bed?"

"Was this all to just win over my bed?"

"Of course not. And it's not just me, you want it too, unless you would of said no."

"Whatever jerk."

"Last thing." He began and you looked at him confused. "Try not to fall in love with me."

"Likewise." You returned his cocky attitude and got up and made your way to your bathroom.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"It's been awhile so I need to clean up a little."

"I don't care about that."

"I don't want you to be disgusted-"

"You are far from disgusting (Y/N)."

"You've never seen my body."

"I don't need to." You were taken back, you couldn't help but blush.

He looked around the room. "First things first, do you have any condoms?"

"I think I have a few of Sungjae's left over."

"What? Ew."

You gave him a questioning look. "It's not like they are used Jisung."

You opened your underwear drawer grabbing the box. "They're too small."

"You didn't even see the box yet."

"Don't need to." You shut him up by throwing the box at him. "Sungjae is a medium? Did you even feel anything?"

"You are seriously making me regret this."

"Can I just pull out?" He whined.

"I'm going to kill you."

"Okay fine." He began by removing his plaid shirt that hung over his plain white t-shirt.

"So how do we-"

He came really close to you that you grew speechless. "Um.....we don't have to kiss or anything." You looked up at him as he was already leaning down.

"How are we suppose to set the mood if we don't kiss?" He arched his eyebrows. "Plus...I'm like a really good kisser so you wouldn't want to miss this opportunity."

You shook your head amused. "Why do you have to be so annoy-" You were cut off by him sealing his lips with yours. You had the urge to push him off but you couldn't, something felt right.

And now you fear the worst.

Once he pulled away, you felt dizzy but you wanted more as you kissed him back to his surprise and he leaned you down on the bed.

Everything was happening so fast that you couldn't even process. He had you pinned against the bed while he kissed up and down your neck. His wandering hands started brushing up your shirt, feeling every inch of you.

You felt him playing with your bra strap, eventually loosening up the tight fabric. He had it off quicker then you realized and immediately started messaging your chest, loosely under your shirt. His lips made it's way back up to your lips, feeling more moist then before.

He stopped suddenly once he felt your hand making it's way inside his jeans. He closed his eyes tightly as you rubbed against him. You could feel the tightness growing causing you to unzip his jeans for more room.

When you felt like he had enough, you tugged his shirt up signaling for him to pull it off. You took some time to admire his toned body that you began to wonder when he even started hitting the gym. He suddenly distracted you by tugging off your sweats and you went ahead and took off your own shirt being completely exposed.

It almost looked like he blushed as he saw you in full. At this point you were growing impatient as he was taking his time with the protection.

"Jisung can you step on it?"

He looked at you amused. "Wow someone is a little eager."

"Shut it."

"I told you I didn't even want to wear one." He leaned forward and began kissing your neck once again before making his way to your swollen lips. You felt him slowly push in, not aware of how tight you were.

You couldn't help but wince from the slight pain until the feeling subsided to pleasure. His muffled sounds were so beautiful as he began your movements faster. The pleasure was familiar and too far forgotten. Almost like a dream. If only it was to save you from all the trouble you can already predict.

He leaned down kissing you passionately once again as his pace was comfortable. You felt like you were lost in your own world not caring who can hear you. You moved your hand to the front of your folds to guide your pleasure closer to the edge. You felt numbness scattered throughout your body as the climax finally reached its high point. Once he reached his he collapsed to the bed next to you.

You looked over at Jisung and you couldn't help but smile seeing how exhausted he was. He turned on his side facing you as he gently started to close his eyes.

Try not to fall in love with me.

You remembered what he said. Maybe it was just your hormones talking but you felt butterflies non stop. You're just hoping you didn't feel this way tomorrow.

[mybg3notebook]

Loving your analyses of Astarion's behaviour and character so far! It has really reaffirmed in my eyes just how much of a bastard he really is. (I say that fondly, of course.) Do you have any thoughts on why the general reaction on tumblr has leaned so much towards woobifying him? After looking at his actual (explicit and implicit) morals in game it seems quite odd that some people are reading him as an edgy soft boi who just needs a hug from the right person to fix him.

Hello!

Thank you very much! I really enjoy seeing chars in a deep way. It makes me change my opinion on them, sometimes. That's why I like to do these analysis, even though it's a lot of work for a person who doesn't speak English as a native.

Lol, please, I won't be offended. Astarion is a bastard in the whole sense of the word, lol.

However, I find Astarion an interesting evil (evil neutral imo) char to explore the narration of “abuser who found a greater abuser”, with all the topics I talked about in those posts. I would feel a bit disappointed if Larian suddenly changes him into a man who always had a gold heart (because for that, you need to give hints, even in EA, and none of that has been seen so far).

An example of how this is done is with Shadowheart, she is evil and she supports a lot of cruelty that Astarion does too, but we got meta-knowledge (and not so much meta when we see her heavily drunk after killing the tieflings) that gives us enough reasons to believe she has some heart in her, despite Shar and her teachings. I do not support the idea of “she is a softie”, because she is not, but she doesn't have the same level of cruelty nor revels in murder so much as Astarion does. They represent different degrees of evilness. What plays in her favour is her face, which gives the idea of more softness than she truly has; the same happens with Astarion. Lae'Zel is less cruel than Astarion in general, with more logical reasons to be so because her brainwashed culture made her to be more pragmatic than a taster of cruelty, and yet, she receives a lot of more hate in the fandom... and it is clear to me why: she is not “beautiful” in the traditional white euro-centric standard sense.

And this is my point to answer your question (remember all this is personal opinion): I think there are many reasons why people woobify Astarion (not only in tumblr, but also in Reddit or in Larian Forums, it's a big part of the EA fandom).

First and foremost, I believe it's his appearance. If he were a bugbear or a goblin, few in this fandom would give a thought about his abuse, his pain, Cazador, etc. They would focus on his “bastard” side and leave it at that (again, Lae'Zel has this treatment). I want to make clear that I'm not questioning people's taste, everyone can like whatever they want to. I'm saying that, for me, there it proof enough to sustain this idea that Astarion is woobified because he is beautiful: when you read that a lot of people in this fandom never had an interest in Larian's previous games, or isometric rpgs, or even turn-based combat games (there are some people who are giving feedback against the game being a turned-based combat one! It's the nonsense because it's basically Larian's style), but they bought bg3 because they saw Astarion, even though they knew nothing about him.... All this, clearly, shows to me that a lot of people approached this game for only one char, for only his design (a big amount of them say it explicitly), and it is not far-fetched to know that people justify more easily beautiful villains than ugly ones. We can explore a lot of examples of this in many fandoms. People can love villains because they have real complex reasons to be so (like Loghain in DAO), but they also can like whimsical villains just because they are “hot”. I feel this is Astarion's case, he is a “beautiful villain” who apparently has always been evil. His reasons for his whimsical evilness is more like “it's always been in his nature”. Unless the family part has a different role in his backstory (mirror option) and it's not a mere line for a player to play a “good aligned” Astarion when picked as Origin. I don't like to read much about it in that scene because the game still doesn't have companion Tags; those options in the mirror can be there just for the player to pick, flavoured with each origin, but not necessarily the three of them are canon. This will be seen once we have the companion tags activated as it happened in DOS2.

What we can say for sure is that Larian knew what they were doing when they picked Astarion's design; they choose a dangerous white guy with white hair and evil alignment: an archetype that catches a lot of people in many fandoms.

Part of his woobyfication process has a deep root there, in my opinion. Again, if he were a bugbear, a goblin, a githyanki, a monster-humanoid... we would not have 90% of the EA fandom collapsed with his image, or Larian focused on him to the point that after 4 patches he had new scenes, lines, corrections, and development, while Wyll is still there, sitting in the bench of “the less developed chars” (with around 2k less lines than the rest of the chars, and his personal quest bugged since the first day). Yes, I don't like the preference on one single companion when I am seeing the “future Beast” (from DOS2) in Wyll.

Second, he is a vampire. Vampires are a great element in any fantasy narrative. You know you will have a lot of fans behind a vampire char. Not by chance Vampire The Masquerade is one, if not the most important product of White Wolf, which keeps still giving them a lot of profit despite being decades old. Vampires are always a good element of personal horror, of lack of control of your own body, and also an allegory of abuse, power, and rape. This concept of “being a monster without control” that they embody helps a bit more for the woobification.

Third, people tend to mix a lot headcanon with what a character gives us as canon. We can have a long useless discussion about which is more worthy: canon or headcanon, or about why one should or should not respect canon, but putting all that discussion aside, and considering the previous two points, I see that a small part of his woobyfication comes from the fact that people love denial and self-projection instead of analysing of what they are given (and let's be honest, we know in tumblr, reddit and others social networks, people lack of reading comprehension skills, which makes analysis all about self projection without a real effort in understanding the character's perspective. It's all about the player unilateral perspective. How can you analyse a char you didn’t play with or explored in all its paths? ).

So if their beautiful character is behaving in a way they don't want to, they start considering him “random” (I read this so much that confuses me, because Astarion has clear patterns for everyone who wants to see them, like the rest of the companions. He is not random, he follows pretty well all what I listed here, that list helps you to predict what he will disapprove or approve) so they end up filling this apparent “randomness” with headcanons and self-projections. Don't get me wrong, I don't despise headcanons, I love them, I have a lot of them and create with them. But I also like honest analysis and separate what I want from what I get from a company (to correctly give them feedback, otherwise I will be giving them my headcanons).

If you don't want an aspect of a given char, and you want to deny it, it's perfectly fine. Do it, it's your entertainment, but be honest with the fandom about it, acknowledge this is a personal denial you enjoy. And mainly, don't use headcanons and self-projections to attack the rest of the chars you don't like in their own tags. We know how aggressive some people in this fandom are, and it's a bit frustrating to see aggression without the slightest effort in understanding the character they hate.

There is also something sad to say, related to self-projection, that contributes to Astarion's woobyfication too: a lot of players are survivors of abuse who connect with him from trauma, and I can understand if denying his past is a way to help them to release any kind of pain or need for vengeance against their abusers. It's a natural and totally understandable projection. The woobyfication, then, ends up in an intense self-projection where they give to the char something that they needed because their own trauma.

This is why I would like Larian to give us other survivor chars that people can project onto, whose stories are really about survivors of abuse who were not evil in the beginning. Because I feel a lot of people approached Astarion as a narration of a “victim who will become a victimiser” or as a “bad behaved victim”, instead of what I think it's shown: an abuser who found a greater abuser (and his story is about punishment of the abuser and the concept of justice in a world which has none), so trauma survivors will end up with disappointment if they think Astarion is something similar to the representation of what they experienced. Plus, vampirism is never good to use as allegories of abusers/victims because the relationship Sire/Childe is too sick and twisted. So, again, this is a mere opinion from all what I've been reading since the game came out.

I hope Larian sticks to the narration they seem to follow with Astarion: an abuser who found a greater one, and now wants to become the next Cazador, and this woobifycation doesn't change the real potential of a dark deep story that I believe they want to give us: not every char is redeemable, and sometimes evilness is capricious. We had chars like these in bg1 and bg2 after all. 

[starsaroundsaturn]

books I still can’t believe I’ve read to this day because they are literally nightmare fuel, and my thoughts or memories/conceptions on them

the 100 by Kass Morgan--how the heck did this get out of the garbage to be printed. MY FRIEND. YOU ARE GIVING US NUCLEAR DESTRUCTION. THEY ARE RETURNING TO EARTH. THIS COULD BE FOUND FAMILY, EXISTENTIAL HORROR, SCIENCE FICTION, DEEP AND PHILOSOPHICAL, OR LITERALLY A COMEDY SHOW. YOU LITERALLY COULD’VE MADE THIS LIKE A CAMPING TRIP. INSTEAD YOU CHOOSE TO SHOVE LIKE EIGHT LOVE TRIANGLES IN MY FACE WHEN NONE OF THE CHARACTERS ARE UNIQUE OR WELL DEVELOPED AND I CARE ABOUT NONE OF THEM? I CAN APPRECIATE ROMANCE MY DUDE. THIS IS NOT ROMANCE. THIS IS LITERALLY JUST THE RIPOFF OF ANOTHER BETTER BOOK THAT I NEVER GOT TO READ.

Rating: 0/10 I will die mad

American Gods by Neil Gaiman-- “But Lyra, you love Neil Gaiman! The Ocean at the End of the Lane was amazing” hmm but I raise you that I didn’t need his wife cheating on him, definitely didn’t need her ghost haunting him, definitely didn’t need the very explicit sex cannibalism scenes (yes. literally. sex and cannibalism. chill. very cool. apparently goddesses are preying mantis now.) this book was, however, atmospheric. if someone had given this big hulking man a child to take care of it would’ve been better. 

Rating: 1.3/10 this book gave me trauma I want to forget

Ruby Red by Kirstin Gier--this was not a book series. this was a contrivance to make me want to scoop my brain from my skull because the main character was judgmental and bitchy and for some reason she was the chosen one and that one guy wanted her and then he didn’t and there was this weird discussion of sexism that was done sublimely poorly and my gosh, please NEVER experience this

Rating: .2/10 the screaming this book made me do tore my throat up but I probably needed it

Blue Bloods by Melissa de La Cruz--disgusting as sin, and please stop with the twincest. Yeah you heard me right “reincarnated angels” sure but it’s twincest. DISGUSTING. And if I remember correctly he was in love with her mom. WHAT THE *&%^ IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE. I CANNOT BELIEVE I ACTUALLY READ MORE THAN ONE OF THESE WHAT WAS I THINKING.

Also realizing that this series was by Melissa de La Cruz clarifies my understanding of why whenever I picked up one of her books was like trying to swallow poison I have no trust for this author anymore

Rating: -36/10 I would rather drink broken glass and hot sauce than read or think about this series again.

The Guinevere Deception by Kiersten White--WHY DID YOU BOTHER WITH THE VIRGINITY PLOTLINE THAT’S A NO FROM ME. I genuinely find the virginity plotlines in books by most authors extremely disrespectful and dumb. Sincerely. Virginity does not need to be sensationalized. It does not need to be a plot point in your book. People who just genuinely do not want to have sex whether for religious or personal reasons exist. Also, WOULD YOU STOP IT WITH THE STRANGE RELATIONSHIP STUFF IF SHE’S GOING TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH ARTHUR DO NOT MAKE HER INTERESTED IN HIS UNCLE THIS IS SQUICKY. I also genuinely hate the “fragile little thing with enormous magical powers” trope. Just let her have godlike power. Just make her like Izuku Midoriya, and her power crushes her bones but she’s this determined kid who keeps her chin up. I don’t want a “fragile heroine” to read about I want a human being. Yes she can like dresses, yes she can need people, yes she can faint, just STOP making her feel like a damsel in distress fumbling in the dark. Make her a real person and I might actually read the second book.

Rating: let ants bite my wrists rather than read this/10 just once let a book that sounds interesting actually be good

These Broken Stars by Amie Kaufman and Meagan Spooner--Read Unearthed, it was better. Make the horror existential if you must give me this romance stuff in the background, thanks, this would’ve been better as a horror novel. or just cut through the middle man and read Contagion by Erin Bowman for that kind of grossness involved in aliens possessing your body with extra points for when the aliens possess your body but not in a negative way, because that book was better

Rating: 4/10 it was fine but I still can’t believe I read it

disclaimer: if you like these books I am happy for you, this is me being salty because I can be salty here. no hate to you if these books are ones you enjoyed. some of my criticism may be actually noting endemic problems in the writing, but a lot of it may also be just because these were not the books for me

[supercantaloupe]

SO happy you rbed that book rec ask meme again, i was afraid i'd missed it: 1, 3, 8, 13, 22, 27, 28, 37, 43, 55, 61, 131? 💞🌺

aw jack 💖🥺 admittedly some of these questions are about genres i don't really read but i'll do my best!

1. a book that is close to your heart - listen i know Ready Player One by Ernest Cline is cringe or whatever but middle school me ate that shit up. i'm still very fond of it and a lot of what it has to say -- namely its optimism re: human connection/friendship through the internet and unashamed & nostalgic fan culture

3. a stand-alone that you wish was part of a series - none come to mind; when a book is well written, imo, it has an ending satisfying enough to stand alone. more often i find myself wanting to read more similar standalone books by the same author than i do wanting to read a direct continuation of a single book into a series; see all of Andy Weir's space novels (The Martian, Artemis, and Project Hail Mary) as an example.

8. a book you finished in one sitting - Project Hail Mary! okay, not technically one sitting, but pretty much. i finished it within 24 hours and loved it

13. your favorite romance novel - not much of a romance reader tbh! i suppose i still have a fondness for John Green YA from middle school. The Fault in Our Stars, if i must pick something overtly romantic, but i do prefer Paper Towns, if you'll allow me to stretch what "romantic" means in terms of a book's plot

22. your favourite thriller - i don't really know exactly what constitutes a thriller in a book? i don't really read these. does Moby Dick count? i liked moby dick

27. a book with a purple cover - God Bless You Mr. Rosewater again! love me some vonnegut. (my copy is purple, i think other editions have different covers tho)

28. a book you wish you could read as a beginner again - "beginner" i'll assume here means "for the first time". i kind of wish i could go back to elementary school and relive reading Darren Shan's Cirque du Freak series again. i tore through all twelve books. i think if i tried to revisit them now it would lack a lot of what i now look for in a book, but i remember the series so fondly as a kid

37. your favourite heist book - another genre i don't read much of. it's been ages since i read this series, but i remember enjoying Gail Carriger's Finishing School series. if i recall correctly at least one of the four books (likely more) had heists in them. also i haven't read it yet since i literally just got it but there's a book called Barn 8 by Deb Olin Unferth that's about two guys who try to steal all the chickens from an egg farm? i'll keep you posted if it's any good lmao

43. a book that you have read more than three times - The Martian my beloved 💖💖💖

55. a book with a satisfying ending - i really like how The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood ends (which is part of why i haven't bothered reading its recent sequel yet, lol). i have a feeling my definition of a "satisfying ending" is not the same as everyone else's, though, lmao

61. your favourite horror novel - yet another genre i don't read much of. i do remember reading this one book called H2O by Virginia Bergin in middle school. it's about an apocalypse in which all the water on earth (save for sealed ccontainers) becomes infected with a deadly parasite and it fucked me up and stayed with me since.

131. recommend any book you like! - The Anthropocene Reviewed! John Green's latest book, a collection of essays on various things as viewed through a human lens, each rated on a 5-star scale. shockingly heartfelt. highly recommend!

[ask meme]

[joon-ipersgirl]

O5 - “the coveted client”

genre: mafia!au, angst, fluff, slow burn, mystery-thriller

pairing: namjoon x reader (f)

word count: 4.6k

warnings: cursing

summary: charismatic. beautiful. fearless without question. the ambitious team of seven young men in charge of spiral, downtown district's hottest new club, go above and beyond to provide 100% satisfaction to their clients.

after an eventful night out, you have no choice but to join the team for property damages greater than your intern salary. challenging a series of events that can no longer be left to coincidence, secrets threaten to burst at the seams as your professional and private life collide, and another - more sinister - debt is added to your total.

how far are you willing to go to pay back your pound of flesh? remember nothing is ever as it seems...

a/n: hello friends. here is part 5. leave a comment on how you're feeling about this story. i'm debating on discontinuing it from tumblr. thank you vi for reading as always. enjoy everyone :)

full masterlist // series masterlist // previous // next

Training tonight @ 6pm. Don’t be late. You read the incoming text with a grin. Even in text, Suga is straight to the point. Shoving your phone back into your pants pocket, you leave the small kitchenette and head back to your small desk with a fresh cup of coffee in hand. You can still remember the looks of horror on the boys’ faces after Suga announced your immediate hire and it’s been two weeks since then. Was it wrong to take pleasure in their discomfort? Probably. Would you stop? Never.

“Is that a smile I spy on Miss Y/N Y/L/N’s face? The Devil must be here to collect his wife,” Paul exclaims as you sit back down. You laugh and prop your chin on your hand as you stare at him over your desktop screen.

“Can a woman not just be happy, Paul? Why does it have to come at the expense of a man?” you ask, a fake feign of hurt in your voice.

“Of course women can. Just not you,” he says with a shrug of his shoulders. You shake your head, your smile still present on your face. Paul would not ruin your good mood.

“Ouch. That one might have hurt if I actually gave a fuck about your opinion of me,” you say while reorganizing the folders Manager Kim had dropped onto your desk from the day before.

“Y/N! Language!” Laura chides as she walks into your cramped office space. You roll your eyes and flip through the countless papers on your desk to order them in order of priority.

It’s honestly a miracle that none of you manage to murder each other while you work though it’s crossed your mind several times. JM Events and Affairs is a lucrative event planning company, but apparently could not afford to at least place its clerks in a room larger than 500 sq ft. Being entry level is a struggle most days, but eventually it would all pay off and you would become a successful event planning guru. For now though, you’re stuck here with the imbeciles you had to call co-workers.

“Manager Kim wants to see us in her office,” James says as he pokes his head around the wall of the cubicle, his glasses slipping down the bridge of his nose. “Now,” he emphasised. He doesn’t wait for you to follow.

Paul shoots you and Laura a raised brow of confusion as you grab your notepads and file down the long corridor to Manager Kim’s well decorated office. She’s an older woman who’s been in the business longer than you’ve been alive. She credits her success to always staying ahead of the trend even if she didn’t create it, though most times she did. Her style is impeccable and she is meticulous as she is jovial. She’s, quite simply, a genius.

James has already taken a seat in one of the two plush grey chairs in front of her large, industrial sized desk. Rows of colorful binders are organized on her desk - no doubt detailing the new events the company is planning on hosting. Manager Kim enjoys the arts and it’s evident from the variety of paintings that hang on the wall. Today, she’s dressed in a powder blue knit sweater that matches whatever shade of nail polish she wears tucked into a pair of belted, high waisted wide leg pants. Her matching steel toe boots peek from underneath.

“Ah, good. You’re all here,” she begins as she sits behind her desk. You gesture for Laura to take the other available seat as you stand behind James and Paul stands next to you.

“We have a new client considering the company for an event. He’s very important for future networking opportunities so I expect the very best work from you.” Manger Kim usually wasted no time getting straight to the point and today is no different. “In fact, I’ve been monitoring your work very closely because I knew a client like this would be coming very soon,” she stands from her desk, navy blue binder in hand.

“What kind of event is he planning on having?” James inquires, his pen ready to take notes.

“He didn’t give specific details, but I’m sure if we can book him for this minor event, he’ll give us the main one. I’m quite sure of it.” Manager Kim snaps the binder shut and smiles at you all. Her white blonde bob is immaculate, not a single strand out of place.

“Should we start drafting ideas now?” Laura asks.

“Yes, I need several drafts from each of you by 4pm this afternoon. Please have them -”

“Are we just supposed to forget about the other events we have coming up? This guy didn’t even give us any major details for effective planning!” Paul interrupts. Manager Kim turns to look at him.

“Well Paul, if this client is of no importance to you -” Paul tries to backtrack, but to no avail as Manager Kim continues on “- I will not need your drafts or your portfolio.” She beams at him and Paul blanches. You grimace.

“As I was saying. Please have your portfolios and 4 drafts submitted to me by 4pm today. They should be in priority order and include everything from food to colors, entertainment and venues. Remember, the customers knows best -”

“- but finesse, finesse, finesse,” you, Paul, James, and Laura finish. Manager Kim should have that framed and put on her wall.

“Lovely. Goodbye,” she waves no longer looking at you, already lost in her grueling event editing process. You knew better than to loiter and the four of you head back to your small workspace.

“You really fucked up there Paul,” you say as you sit down at your desk.

“Thanks, Y/N,” Paul deadpans. He drops his head quite heavily on his desk. Laura winces.

“It’s okay, Paul. Maybe you can still show her something and -” she starts.

“You know Manager Kim isn’t the forgiving kind,” James interrupts. “There’s nothing more he can do,” he finishes nonchalantly.

“I hate to agree -” you begin.

“No you don’t,” Paul cuts in.

“- but James is right. Manager Kim is all about quick thinking and Paul failed that test. He’ll have another time to redeem himself, but he has to sit this one out. You should be happy, Laura. Less competition,” you say with a shrug and flip open your notepad to start drafting.

“Do you even have an empathetic bone in your body, Y/N?!” Laura hisses as she walks over to rest a hand on Paul’s shoulder.

“Sometimes,” you reply. “But everyone has to eat and I refuse to go to sleep on an empty stomach.”

Laura looks disgusted at your answer and she goes back to consoling Paul. James had left the conversation a long time ago and you admired his ability to ignore almost everyone around him. His coldness and detachment made him ruthless in an unsuspecting way and you’d learned the hard way not to underestimate him. Laura would learn eventually that while people thought it was the strong who survived, it was really those who were able to adapt to any environment that really thrived.

It’s after lunch that you receive an email from Manager Kim requesting for you to meet her in the lobby in fifteen minutes without any further explanation. You ask no questions and sit in the lobby, counting the people that come out of the elevator that were not Manager Kim. It’s already 1:24 pm and you’ve just started your third draft. Creating on a time crunch with no real guidance is no walk in the park and you try to keep your frustrations under control as you run through possible color combinations for the event.

“Y/N! There you are! Let’s go,” Manager Kim calls as she exits the building without checking to see if you follow.

You scramble to grab your purse and notepad, scurrying across the lobby in the high heels she insists you wear. Manager Kim is already seated in a company car as you yank the passenger side door open and fall into the seat.

“Very good,” she says and wastes no time pulling into traffic. You awkwardly try to secure your seatbelt as she zips through the small spaces between cars. Gods protect you from this woman and her hazardous driving.

“Where are we going?�� you ask after you manage to situate your purse, coat, and notepad in your lap comfortably.

“Downtown. We’re meeting with the client.”

“We?!” you repeat, surprised.

“That’s what I said isn’t it? We’re also late,” she says as she makes a sharp right turn onto Matthews St. You barely miss hitting a cyclist and you send up another small prayer for you to make it to your destination safely.

“What about the drafts and portfolios? Aren’t you going to review -”

“Did I say I wasn’t?” She glances over at you from the corner of her eye and you close your mouth. You would not fail this test.

Manager Kim pulls over into an impossibly tight space in front of a large corporate building that reads Hastings and Lewis. A well established law firm if you remember correctly. It has to be at least 14 stories high and exudes the architect’s vision of simple modern design with large windows and exposed steel structural support. You both exit the car and you align your steps with hers, your heels clicking in time against the marble flooring as you enter the building. You say good afternoon to the doorman who simply nods at you in greeting.

“Hello. How can I help you?” the receptionist asks behind the raised desk, her head barely visible.

“Yes, hello. My name is Madeline Kim. I have an appointment to speak with Mr. Cavallero at 2:15pm.” You glance at the clock behind the receptionist. 1:53pm. You bite your lip to hold your outburst. To be early is to be on time, you could hear her say.

The receptionist smiles and nods as she searches her computer for the appointment. “Yes, here it is. Please have a seat. Someone will come and get you shortly.”

Manager Kim nods and perches in one of the available seats. You shake your head as you take a seat next to her, ignoring the itching in your palm to pull out your notepad and finish your drafts. You can tell by the way Manager Kim is sitting, not scrolling through her various binders or the calendar on her phone, this is a formal interview and you would not be the one to fuck it up. There would be time to finish the drafts. You would make sure of it.

“Ms. Kim?” A young man in a sharp, black suit stands in the center of the room smiling at you. 2:05pm. Right on time. “If you could follow me this way, please.” He turns towards the golden elevators and you follow behind him. “My name is Lewis Carlisle and I am the assistant to Mr. Cavallero,” he tells you as he pushes the button for the 10th floor. He sticks his hand out for each of you to shake.

“It’s very nice to meet you, Mr. Carlisle. Thank you for having us. This is my assistant, Ms. Amani Jung.” A lie, but you go with it.

“A pleasure to meet you,” you say with a bright smile and a firm handshake. He returns a smile of his own.

The elevator doors open and you follow Mr. Carlisle through the open workspace plan. This is the kind of place that promoted collaboration and teamwork. How could it not when the light airy feeling made you want to turn to your neighbor and ask them what they thought about a particular problem? JM Events and Affairs should have hired their interior designer. Maybe some of their employees wouldn’t struggle as much to meet their deadlines.

“Mr. Cavellero unfortunately will not be able to meet with you in person today -” Manager Kim’s smile tightens at his words “- but he did relay all of his expectations for the company brunch,” Lewis says as he holds open the door to a small meeting room. It’s in the center of the floor and the walls are made of pure plexiglass. It screamed expensive.

“How wonderful,” Manager Kim comments as she sits down and sets her purse down on the ground.

“Would either of you like something to drink? Water? A Coke?”

“ A water with light ice will do, thank you,” she says.

“I’ll take a bottle of water, please,” you reply and sit down beside Madeline. You discreetly pull out your design notepad along with your actual note-taking pad. Lewis nods and promises to return quickly with your drinks as well as the file containing the event details.

“You seem upset,” you comment while scribbling down the words brunch and law firm onto a new blank sheet for your fourth and final draft, your brain already conjuring up ideas.

“What makes you think that?” she asks, turning to you slightly as she too sets up her own note-taking station.

“Your smile failed to meet your eyes,” you say nonchalantly. From the corner of your eye, you see her break into a grin as Lewis enters the room, a cup of water in one hand, a bottle in the other, and a slim manilla folder tucked underneath his arm.

“Thank you again, Mr. Carlisle,” Manager Kim says with another bright smile, her hand in his as they shake hands again.

“You’re very welcome. I’m sure Mr. Cavallero will love what you put together for brunch,” he replies.

The meeting seems to be a success and you’d gained some much needed insight for your fourth draft while being Madeline’s “assistant”. You’re no longer paying attention as you exit the meeting room and head back towards the main elevator, Madeline and Lewis making polite conversation. You run over all of your drafts as you check the time discreetly. It’s 3:20pm. You would still have enough time to review your plans and work on the others files Manager Kim had assigned. You grin in victory.

“Mr. Cavallero!” Lewis exclaims as the elevator doors open.

The man is an older gentleman with neatly groomed hair and warm brown eyes. His coal grey suit is neatly pressed, a sharp crease present in the center of his pant leg. Definitely high quality and only dry-cleaned. His smile displays a set of perfect of white teeth. As he steps out of the elevator, holding it open so it wouldn’t close, the Armani Exchange watch glitters under the artificial lights.

“Mr. Carlisle. I assume this must be our event coordinators. I’m sorry I couldn’t meet with you. An emergency meeting was called for a major case,” he apologizes.

“I understand, Mr. Cavallero. Things are sometimes out of our control. No need to explain,” Madeline says with a smile as she enters the elevator. You follow behind her. “Mr. Carlisle was quite capable. I will have Miss Y/L/N send over the final details for the event by Friday for your approval.”

Mr. Cavallero’s eyes shift over to you and he smiles. “I look forward to it. Enjoy the rest of your day, ladies.” He let the doors go as Lewis tells you goodbye, the doors closing off the last of his words.

Manager Kim’s shoulders visibly relax as you descend to the lobby, but you make no comment. Though their conversation was brief, something had clearly transpired between them. Madeline seems to have noticed you watching her as she inhales and fixes her posture. She was back to business.

“I assume I don’t have to tell you not to say anything about this meeting?” she asks as she nods her thanks to the doorman, your steps once more in sync as you exit the high rise building.

“What meeting?” You say with a grin as you wait for her to unlock the company car.

The heat of the staircase in Spiral welcomes you again like a familiar friend after not seeing them for a long time. There is still the hustle and bustle of vendors dropping off boxes as the final details of the new designs are being put into place. People couldn’t wait to see how Spiral had fared after the robbery - which you still didn’t believe was actually what happened - and it seems like Friday’s opening night couldn’t come soon enough. Even Paul and Laura were considering stopping by after all of the shit they talked before.

You enter the main space and glance around, looking for one of the boys. Your purse bag is heavy from the event files and you head over to set it on top of the bar while resting your aching feet. Paul, Laura, and James could not believe you’d managed to turn in your drafts and portfolio at exactly 3:57pm after being gone so long; they would eventually learn to not underestimate you. You glance around again and notice a group of people sitting in one of the newly upholstered booths quietly chatting to one another across the way. Were these the new employees?

“Already lounging on the first day of the job, Y/L/N?”

You look to your left as you shrug off your heavy overcoat and see Honcho coming around the bar, a pile of clothes in his hands.

“Of course not. I just wasn’t sure who to report to,” you say with a shrug.

“Well, you’re looking at him,” he replies with a grin. You have to stop your mouth from falling open. Of all people, it had to be him? “What? Are you disappointed?” he asks as he continues across the room to the small group. You grab your stuff and walk over after him.

“No, I just thought -”

“Thought it would be Suga? As much as you like to charge in and demand shit sweetheart, Suga is a very busy man and doesn’t have the time to appease you all the time. Sit,” he commands with a jerk of his head. You narrow your eyes at him, but obey. It’s only then that you notice the other five persons staring at you in confusion as you bickered. You swallow the urge to huff in annoyance as Honcho begins speaking.

“Thank you all for being on time. Congratulations on being hired. I’m Honcho and I’ll be your manager at Spiral. You’ll meet the rest of the guys later. These are your uniforms. We have a strict adherence uniform policy, so please do your best to be dressed in your proper attire. If you have long hair, it will be tied up or back in a bun or ponytail. Ladies, we ask that you wear red lipstick to match our colors. We’ve also given you options for bottoms: a skirt or pants.” Honcho holds up a pair of each for demonstration. “Whatever you decide to wear is up to you. We only ask that all your shoes are closed toed and we would prefer no sneakers; we’re trying to sell a vibe here. Any questions?” He doesn’t wait for anyone to speak up. “No? Great. If you could introduce yourselves to each other, that’d be fantastic.” He looks over to the boy on the other side of the booth.

“Uh, hi. My name is Micah. I’m 21 and recently graduated from college.” He tosses up a small wave before pushing his glasses further up his nose. He’s narrow shouldered and naturally blonde. Cute, if you will. They would chew him up and eat him alive if he continued to be so timid.

“Hey, I’m Luca. I’m 23 and a graduate student at Oberman.” Luca definitely fit the vibe Spiral os going for with his dark hair and dark eyes. He would have no problem wooing the numerous women who would walk through the door. A great business move in your opinion.

“Hey y’all, Savannah here. I’m 22 and working part time while in school.” Another blonde hair, blue-eyed coworker. How fun. The bubbles in champagne had nothing on her as she beams at the rest of you around the table.

“I’m Jack. I’m 24 and I guess I’m here to save up for a new car? Need some extra cash,” he finishes with a bashful grin. The girl next to you snorts. Jack is a big man with broad shoulders and you would assume he was hired as additional security based on his size. Imagine a man as big as him bringing over your strawberry mojito? Exactly.

“Giselle. 21. Law student. Loans have to pay themself off somehow right?” Luca laughs and Giselle smiles. Yuck. If you weren’t already sick of the office romance - if you could call it that - between Laura and Paul at JM, you were going to have to endure another one here? Gods be with you.

“Y/N Y/L/N. I’m 22 and an event planner,” you say nonchalantly and turn to Honcho, waiting for his next instructions.

“Not going to tell us the reason you’re here?” he smirks and you roll your eyes.

“You’d like that wouldn’t you?”

“I’d like a lot of things, Y/L/N. In fact, I can think of a few -”

“Gross,” you say, interrupting him, your face turned down in disgust. He laughs.

“Always think someone wants something from you, huh?” He shakes his head, still chuckling. “Everyone, go get changed and I’ll explain your duties to you once you get back.”

The six of you ease out of the booth, grabbing your uniforms as you head to the restrooms to get changed. As you follow Savannah and Giselle, you can’t help but scan the hallway for anything you could have missed as the memory of your second night here flashed across your mind. There had to be something that you were missing.

“I hope these uniforms are cute,” Giselle grumbles as she steps into an empty stall.

“I’m sure it’ll look great,” Savannah chirps.

You step into your own individual stall and drop your stuff on the floor. Slipping out of your heels, you step out of your slacks and tug off your blouse. You hold up the uniform shirt. It’s a plain black t-shirt with the letters in red spelling out Spiral in a spiral formation. The pants are made of a faux leather shiny material. They look tight and the sides have cut outs with strings laced in them from hip to ankle. The skirt is exactly the same. You sigh. This was really the vibe?

You dress quickly and tug on your Doc Martens. Honcho would have to wait for the lipstick. Exiting the stall, you see Savannah trying to adjust the strings on her pants while chewing her lip.

“Is it supposed to be this exposed?” she asks, checking herself out in the mirror.

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure,” Giselle says exiting the stall and tugging down the hem of her skirt.

“So much for equality in the workplace huh?” you say. The two of them laugh.

The three of you return to the main space, Micah, Luca, and Jack already back at the booth with Honcho. Their eyes widen when they see you.

“Looking good ladies,” Honcho calls with his traditional large grin. Of course he would comment.

“Yeah, yeah. What’s next?” Giselle asks as she wiggles her way back into the booth, trying to cover her modesty.

“We’re going to take a tour of the facilities, get you acquainted with the space, and fill out the last pieces of paperwork. We’ll also have you help with some of the decorations; don’t worry, you’re going to get paid for this session. Then, we’ll see you on Friday for your shifts,” he replies. “Alright, let’s go.”

Again, he doesn’t wait for you to follow. As you’re setting your belongings down to catch up with the rest of the group, you spot Jin heading towards the bar. Just the man who you needed to see.

“Are you coming Y/N?” Savannah calls to you as the group heads up to the second level.

“Yeah, I’ll be right there!” you lie, knowing damn well you’re going to ambush Jin. You pretend to search for something in your purse as you double-check the group is far enough on the second level to not notice you not following before you head over to Jin.

“Well hello Jin,” you say as you wiggle your way onto a bar stool.

“Y/N,” he says with a chuckle. “What can I do for you?”

“Just answer a few simple questions.” you smile as you rest your chin on your palm.

“Alright,” he replied skeptically.

“Where’d you move the body?” The bottle of Aperol nearly slips out of his grip as he turns to look at you.

“Excuse me?” There’s no laughter in his voice.

“The body of the man in the bathroom,” you clarify. “How’d you get it to disappear like that?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he replies, busying himself with stocking up the bottles of alcohol under the shelf. He won’t meet your eyes. You know he’s lying; his body language says it all.

“Oh come on, Jin. You can tell me. It’s not like I’m going to go to the cops or anything,” you say nonchalantly. “Clearly they didn’t seem to care since they weren’t that thorough with their questions.”

“Y/N, I really don’t know what you’re talking about. You were concussed remember? Maybe you imagined whoever you’re talking about.” He glances up at you. You roll your eyes.

“Really Jin? You’re going to use the concussion line on me? You knew that I shot him; I told you that. I just want to know where you put him and why there were no reports of a missing man from the incident on the news at all,” you say with a shrug. He finally turns to face you.

“Maybe nobody reported him missing. Maybe he slipped out after you ducked behind the bar. What does it matter? Look, it was a traumatic night. For all of us. I don’t know anything about whatever or whoever you’re talking about. Hell, you probably don’t know either. Please, don’t make this working relationship anymore difficult for yourself than it already is. Just come in, keep your head down, and head out.” His hands are splayed out on the bar and the distance between you has closed significantly from when he’d started talking as he stares you down. “Worry about the things that concern you, like repaying your debt.” His tone is sharp and final. There’s no friendliness in his face either.

“Y/L/N! You’re not getting paid to sit on that pretty little ass of yours. Get up here now!” Honcho yelles down to you over the railing of the second floor balcony.

Ignoring Honcho, you cock your head and look at Jin again, thinking. “Okay Jin. Heard you loud and clear.”

You hop off the bar stool and adjust your skirt. You say nothing further as you head upstairs. It seems as though Jin would be of no help to you, but honestly, it didn’t matter. If it didn’t concern you, why was Jin lying about knowing what man you were talking about? Why had Suga tried to discreetly cover up that paper in his office the other day? What was really going on at Spiral? You’re determined to figure it, even if you have to work extra hours to do it. What happens in the dark must eventually come to light.

full masterlist // series masterlist // previous // next

joon-ipersgirl, 2020

[citizen-l]

03. Dinner

Despite everything being white, the food was delicious. Apparently it was tradition that every weekend, if there were no other engagements, they would all gather in one of their places, usually it was Chen and Minseok's apartment since it was away from campus. 

"Why does it have to be outside campus?" Chanyeol asked while biting into white asparagus. 

"Baek, you wanna explain?" Minseok laughed.

"Loud music," Baekhyun said quickly and took a sip of water. The music in the background was some mild trap beats, pretty chill.

"You mean loud moaning," Jongin mumbled from the side and Baekhyun choked on water, which earned Jongin an upside on the head.

"Let's not make our new guest think we're savages!" exclaimed Poe's wife, Chanyeol couldn't remember her name. 

"Well, now that you've mentioned, it'd be more awkward if we didn't explain it," Chen laughed. 

"We tend to go a little wild, Chanyeol," Poe said. "Especially after a sufficient amount of drinks."

"I need a drink for this," Baekhyun sighed and got up. 

"Have some wine," another ghost smirked. 

"Not that," Baekhyun said, going into the kitchen and grabbing a beer from the fridge. 

"It was probably our second or third gathering, and back then we had some...entertaining ideas," Chen explained. 

"We thought it'd be fun to have a BDSM themed party," Minseok said bluntly. "And someone had the brilliant idea to get me drunk."

"How were we supposed to know you could down a keg without feeling tipsy?" Chen whined. 

"Long story short, everyone ended up drunk except Minseok, and we took our theme a bit too seriously...in Baekhyun's apartment."

"Wait," Chanyeol didn't know if he wanted to laugh or be horrified. "Where was Sehun?"

Baekhyun was still in the kitchen with his back to everyone, his ears redder than his pink hair. 

"The roommate?" Chen asked. "Probably at some party. It was during Halloween, I think."

"Aren't you gonna tell him the worst part?" Baekhyun returned with his beer. "How the neighbors called the cops and we had to explain why we were dressed in harness and handcuffs?"

Chanyeol choked on the potato. 

"It was Halloween," Chen said innocently. 

"Or why someone was bound to the bed," Minseok raised a brow at Chen. 

"Role play."

"Yeah, it didn't end well, and I'm never going through that again," Baekhyun said. "You wanna have your sexcapades, you can have it in your own apartment."

"If I remember correctly," Chen started, but was soon silenced with a kick under the table by Baekhyun.

Well, that was...interesting.

“Don’t worry, we try not to go overboard after that incident,” Chen reassured Chanyeol.

“Sure,” Jongin grumbled, and everyone laughed.

“Oh, that was all your fault,” Poe said. “Jongin’s initiation was legendary.”

“Initiation?” Chanyeol was confused, they sounded like a cult.

“Yeah, Jongin wasn’t part of our original friend circle,” Minseok explained. “Some of them left after the first few parties, but we loved this, so we thought why not invite more people who’d like this.”

“And,” Chen added. “We just wanted to make more friends who are like us.”

“I was nothing like you lot,” Jongin said in the most dramatic way possible, which only proved Chen’s point.

“Well, we thought differently,” Baekhyun said. “And he was already friends with us in class so he was the perfect candidate.”

“It feels like you wanted him to join your cult,” Chanyeol said and Baekhyun’s cheeks lit up with a smile.

“That’s exactly what it was!” Jongin said exasperatedly. “They lured me in, invited me to a party telling me they wanted to get to know me more, and I thought I was this special guy who caught the eyes of his seniors.”

“Jongin, you are a special guy!” Chen lifted his glass.

“Well, turns out,” Jongin ignored the interruption. “They thought it’d be fun to have a horror themed party, for a guy who can’t even tolerate the idea of ghosts.”

“Oh man, I still remember your screams,” Medusa laughed.

“And remember how he thought Taemin was a real ghost because of his long hair and make up,” the brunette, Soyeon, wiped a tear.

“I was kinda proud of that performance,” Lucifer, Taemin, smiled. “I just wish we recorded it all.”

“Thank god, nobody thought of it,” Jongin gulped down his wine.

They went on with their banters and laughter, Chanyeol honestly felt special that they were willing to share this with him. He genuinely enjoyed being there among this eccentric group of people. None of his other friends were like this, this wasn’t the usual crowd he hung out with. His usual friends were music people, and they were usually busy mixing tapes, participating in recitals, or playing a gig at some quaint bar on weekends. He occasionally saw them at parties on campus outside of class, or at times when they had group projects. None as close enough to call them up for a weekend get together.

Or maybe Chanyeol wasn’t the type of person who got close to people.

It wasn’t a lie that he usually avoided people and large gatherings. Sehun usually took matters into his own hands to get Chanyeol out of his room and into the world. But lately, Sehun was too preoccupied with Junmyeon to have time for his best friend. And it wasn’t that Chanyeol minded, per se. It was just that, he now realized he never felt like he actually enjoyed the company of others as much as he was enjoying this dinner party.

“Alright, time for cake,” Baekhyun said.

“I’ll get them,” Chanyeol said before Baekhyun got up. The cakes were heavy after all the decorating was done. And even though Baekhyun made sure to hide his bandage under the frills of his shirt, Chanyeol hadn’t forgotten.

“I’ll help,” Chen said and came with Chanyeol to the kitchen. “You having fun?”

Chanyeol at first didn’t realize Chen was talking to him until he saw Peter Pan waiting for him to answer. “Oh yeah, not what I was expecting when I was invited, but this is really nice.”

“I’m glad,” Chen brought out small plates.

“Hey, can I ask you something?” Chanyeol waited as Chen started to cut the cakes. “Why did you guys invite me?”

“Why do you ask?” Chen laughed.

“Well, because, from what I gathered, you guys don’t invite just anyone on a whim to this party,” Chanyeol said. “This is, I think, very important to all of you. And I’m a stranger, practically.”

“The fact that you understand is reason enough to think inviting you was a great decision,” Chen said. “Yes, this is important. But we’re not a cult, despite how we might act sometimes. And we like making new friends.”

Chanyeol can understand that, but it still felt like a weak explanation.

“There is also the fact that you saved Baek, and he wouldn’t shut up about you,” Chen laughed.

Chanyeol stopped and stared. Okay?

“Half of us actually thought he was making shit up after what happened yesterday,” Chen said. “So when you showed up, we just couldn’t contain our curiosity about you, I guess.”

“What happened yesterday? You mean me showing up at Baekhyun’s place and scaring him half to death which led to everything else?” Chanyeol said while gathering the plates and forks.

“Uh, yeah, crazy chain of events,” Chen laughed after a while. “Let’s go.”

“You didn’t think it was going to be over so soon, did you?” 

Of course he did. Chanyeol didn’t think this dinner party would be anything more than a dinner party. Apparently, he was wrong.

They got on their coats and decided to walk a few blocks down to another place. Chanyeol kind of enjoyed the procession, people staring while trying to be discreet about it but failing. A group of people in white clothes, white coats, walking down the sidewalk without a care, laughing and talking as if nobody else is on the street. Chanyeol was somewhat jealous, that kinda confidence only came with being surrounded by supportive and like-minded people.

“You okay? Enjoying yourself?” Baekhyun lightly jabbed an elbow to his side.

“Yeah, you?” Chanyeol asked. “How’s your hand?”

“Don’t worry about it, it’s fine. I hope my friends didn’t scare you or anything. They can be a bit much sometimes.”

“Nah, they’re pretty amazing people. You have cool friends,” Chanyeol said and watched Baekhyun’s cheeks redden as he smiled. “Thanks for inviting me.”

“Don’t thank me yet,” Baekhyun laughed. “Wait till the night is over, I’d feel lucky if you don’t run away embarrassed.”

“Why would I be embarrassed?” 

The place they arrived at was some kind of a club. Rainbow lights hung under an open space, the bar at one end seemed too well stocked and overcrowded. Chanyeol didn’t know what this was, but he loved it. The music was upbeat, but not too loud or annoying, he appreciated good music. People danced, some sat in garden chairs around small tables. This felt like a backyard turned into a nightclub, but Chanyeol loved the relaxed vibe.

“Hey! How was the party?” The bartender asked before Soyeon practically jumped over the bar to kiss him.

“Ugh get a room,” Jongin scrunched his nose and moved over to the dance floor.

There was definitely something in his voice, Chanyeol would have to be deaf to not notice.

“They used to date,” Baekhyun whispered beside him. “Jongin and Lay, didn’t work out.”

Judging by the blissed out smile Lay the bartender was giving Soyeon, he was pretty okay with things not working out with Jongin. Jongin, evidently, was not. But he didn’t linger, laughing and pulling the Medusa, Jessi, into a spin towards the dance floor. Jessi in turn grabbed Baekhyun and before Chanyeol knew it, he was sitting with Poe and his bride at a table nursing a beer and watching people laugh and dance in all their white glory.

“So, how did you like our party?” Poe’s wife, Lisa, asked in conversation.

“Not what I expected,” Chanyeol said. “But it was very enjoyable, thank you for having me.”

“I was a bit skeptical about you, not gonna lie,” Poe asked, Chanyeol couldn’t remember his name, he wasn’t at the rehearsal earlier that day. “The last time Baekhyun brought someone, it was a bit of a disaster.”

“We don’t talk about it,” Lisa joked. “And after Baekhyun told us what happened with you last night, we were sort of too eager to know who you were. Minseok legit thought Baek made you up.”

“Yeah, he does that a lot,” Poe said. “Bit of a drama queen. So how long have you two been dating?”

Chanyeol spat out his beer, coughing ridiculously. He genuinely did not see that coming.

“Uh, we’re not, we’re not together, or dating, or anything like that,” Chanyeol said once he drank some water from the bottle Lisa gave him.

“But, you were at his place, I thought…”

“No, nothing like that,” Chanyeol said. “His roommate is my friend, Sehun, he’s dating my roommate. And...yeah.”

How to say you got kicked out of your own place because two people wanted to bang without being embarrassed? You couldn’t. Chanyeol hoped he didn’t have to elaborate further.

“Oh! So that’s why Baek said he got scared when you showed up out of the blue,” Lisa laughed. “We just thought you surprised him after your date tomorrow.”

“Nah, I wasn’t his date. I was told he would be out so I would spend the night alone in Sehun’s room. Didn’t think he’d be home.”

Poe and Lisa exchanged some worried glances but they didn’t say anything further. Chanyeol sipped his beer and tried not to be too obvious about watching two Victorian ghosts dancing with Medusa.

“You don’t dance?” Baekhyun asked as he sat down beside Chanyeol.

“Not if I can help it,” Chanyeol said.

“Alright, Darcy,” Baekhyun laughed.

“Who?”

“So what have you been doing sitting here all alone?”

It had been a while since Poe and Lisa went on to dance, asking Chanyeol to join a few times but leaving eventually when he wasn’t budging.

“Just enjoying the scene, vibing. This place is pretty cool, I like the music,” Chanyeol said.

“Yeah, Lay makes music like you, he’s older though, maybe two years your senior. He’d have joined the dinner if he didn’t have to take up an emergency shift tonight.”

“So how many are part of the cult?” Chanyeol asked jokingly, getting a giggle out of Baekhyun. Worth it.

“There’s me, Minseok, and Jongdae, I mean Chen. We’re the originals,” Baekhyun giggled again. “Then Jessi, Lisa, Taemin, Lay. We brought in Jongin, Lisa brought in her boyfriend Justin. And Lay invited Soyeon.”

“And you invited me,” Chanyeol said.

“Yeah. There were a few more, they didn’t quite vibe with us much, left after a while.”

“Justin said you brought someone else long ago,” Chanyeol said before he could stop himself. He really didn’t plan to ask, he didn’t want to overstep, especially after Lisa said they don’t talk about it. But he couldn’t help it. And judging by the stiffness of Baekhyun’s shoulders, he made a mistake. He tried to lessen the damage. “Did they leave as well?”

“Uh, yeah, we didn’t really have...he had a falling out with us. So we sort of stopped interacting.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Don’t be, he was a little bitch.”

Baekhyun didn’t say anything afterward, so Chanyeol decided to change the subject.

“So, you guys come here every week?”

“No, not really. Depends. If we decide to drink too much, we usually stay over and don’t go out. If there is something special going on, like the carnival a few weeks back, we usually go for a visit. Tonight was a special occasion, your initiation, and also, Lay missed the dinner, so Minseok wanted to bring him some food and cake.”

“My initiation,” the words finally registered. “Does that mean I’m part of the cult now?”

“It’s not a cult, don’t be dramatic,” Baekhyun laughed. “But yes, you’re part of it, which means you’ll be invited to all future dinners, unless you don’t want to be a participant, which is cool too. No pressure. But if you do decide to join, you might want to be more serious about the themes. Chen said Minseok is planning something big for the winter solstice, maybe a Greek Mythology theme. Dibs on Apollo, if that happens.”

“Okay.”

“You think we’re crazy.”

“I don’t think you’re crazy,” Chanyeol said honestly. Eccentric, yes. Not crazy, though. It was actually kinda interesting, fun too. And every one of these people that Chanyeol got to talk to seemed very intelligent so far. They had arguments about Euripides and Bernard Shaw while eating cake, and Chanyeol enjoyed it even though he couldn’t understand one bit what was going on.

“It’s a getaway,” Baekhyun asked as he watched his friends dance and laugh and make fun of each other. “This started as a sort of intervention, a gathering to talk out problems and be civil about it, have dinner, talk things out, have fun. And now it’s like we’re committed. I missed maybe two dinners since we started this last year, and both times I felt like crap afterwards. It’s become a confort.”

It reminded Chanyeol of family brunches on weekends, except there usually weren’t much comfort these days. But he understood the sentiment. And to be invited to be a part of it was a huge deal. To be invited by Baekhyun at that, who has not invited anyone except him and one other person, that person turning out to be not the friend they hoped for, Chanyeol felt some pressure about making a good impression just so Baekhyun won’t have a hard time with his friends.

“I hope you friends didn’t dislike me,” Chanyeol said.

“Oh, trust me, they liked you,” Baekhyun said. “They threatened to not let me in without you next time. It’s an empty threat, don’t worry. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”

Right. Well, now, Chanyeol sort of wanted to attend dinner next week. Maybe he can bring some of his famous savory dishes.

It should alarm Chanyeol that he was thinking about cooking for a dozen people just to attend a dinner so Baekhyun didn’t look bad to his friends. It should alarm him, but he liked spending time with them, with Baekhyun. Enough to dress up again and cook food.

Either something was definitely wrong with him, or that one kiss was getting to his head.

Ask him, a voice in his head screamed at him. Ask him!

But what would Baekhyun answer? 

It was just to thank him for taking care of Baekhyun?

The kiss wasn’t that heated, if Chanyeol was being honest with himself. A chaste goodbye kiss. That tasted like strawberries.

“Chanyeol?” Baekhyun asked, and it looked like he’d been calling his name for a while now. “How much did you drink?” He laughed.

“Not much,” Chanyeol said.

“Your face looks pretty red, you sure you’re not drunk?”

“I’m sure,” Chanyeol wasn’t even tipsy. He’d just been daydreaming about a stupid kiss.

“Well, it’s pretty late. Everyone else is staying over so they’ll probably be here another hour or so. Do you want to stay?”

“Are you leaving?” Chanyeol asked and Baekhyun nodded. “You’re not staying over. Because of me?”

“No, I just like my bed,” Baekhyun said. “I can drop you off if you don’t want to stay here anymore.”

“Okay.”

Maybe Chanyeol was a tiny bit tipsy, that was the only reason he could come up with to explain why he was thinking about Baekhyun’s bed.

“Are you sure you’re sober enough to drive though?” Chanyeol asked when he could think straight again.

“Yeah, don’t worry, I just had one beer tonight, I don’t drink much. Lightweight.”

They said their goodbyes and walked over to the apartment to get the car. They were on the road when Chanyeol got a text from Sehun. 

“Stay over at my place, Baek will let you in.”

For some reason, the text made Chanyeol incredibly angry. The nerve! Sehun barely responded to any of Chanyeol’s texts or calls the whole day, and then, he had the nerve to tell Chanyeol that he couldn’t stay at his own home because… 

“Uh, not to sound rude, but would it be okay if I stayed over at your place tonight?”

“Your roommate and Sehun at it again?” Baekhyun laughed.

Chanyeol just sighed. He was getting too tired of Junmyeon and Sehun acting like teenagers. If they wanted to spend every night together, they might as well move in together and leave Chanyeol his meager place.

“Don’t worry, you can stay over.”

Chanyeol sighed again, for a different reason.

[sayuricorner]

Ever After High x Twisted Wonderland AU  Headcanons part 5

Part 4.5     Part 5.5

AU concept

MASTERLIST

Warning: English is not my first language so sorry if it’s confusing!

This is a rather special part, this consist of a two parts! They will focus on two possible paths concerning Apple White’s fate!

I decided to do this so like that anyone who use the AU can decide if they want Apple to had a redemption(Apple’s happily ever after) or to keep her in the salt(Apple’s badly ever after).

So here we go with the first part which focus on the first possible path: Apple’s redemption!

Apple’s happily ever after:

-After the failure of Raven’s kidnapping aptemt and the “Apple overblot fiasco”, Snow White, headmaster Grimm and an inconsious Apple teleport back to Ever After High to try to make a new plan to fix this mess only to be welcomed by angry teachers and a pissed off Snow White’s husband.

-Turn out that minutes after they left, hedmaster Crowley, with the Evil Queen’s help, contacted Snow White’s husband and explained to him what his wife, daughter and the headmaster Grimm tried to do.

-First he was angry, but when he saw how bad mentally his daughter got, he was more than pissed off at his wife and headmaster Grimm.

-The two tried to justify themself but Snow White’s husband would have none of it: Apple, his precious daughter, was hurt because of his wife’s and headmaster Grimm’s nonsense and need to be healed right now.

-Without any hesitation he take Apple from Snow White and bring her right away to the hospital.

-At the hospital, while Apple is treated, the doctor and Apple’s father talk about Apple’s state.

-Physically she don’t had any serious enjury and should quickly heal, but the same thing can’t be said for her mental state.

-Long short story: Apple’s obsession over her destiny and the delusion feeding from her mother and headmaster Grimm heavely damaged her mind to the point of broken her.

-She needed mental help to completly heal and for that the doctor recommend Apple’s father to send her in a good mental institution and far far away from the White kingdom and Ever After High, those environement being way too toxic for Apple to heal correctly.

-Meanwhile Apple was satting in her hospital room staring at the window while thinking about all what happened.

-She couldn’t understand how this could have happen! When did this truly turned wrong? When did Raven switched from the villain to the hero and her from the hero to the villain? It wasn’t right! She was the future Snow White, the fairest of them all! Surelly she was the good guy right?

-But then memories of her past actions flashed through her eyes, the way she treated Raven, how she had treated everyone in school even her best friends forever after, her overcentred behavior.

-She realized in horror how much she hurt everyone around her, why did this happen? Have she had been so obsessed with her happy ending that she become no better than the Evil Queen? How can this be possible?

-She remember the verbal confrontation between her mother, headmaster and the headmaster Crowley with headmaster Crowley telling them that her state and all the mess which come with it was their fault and even accused them to had corrupted the old stories to the point of making them losing their meanings and making them just shallow pretty titles. But she didn’t understant what he was meaning by this how can her tale, her destiny, can be corrupted?

-She saw beside her a little bookcase filled with books which some are provided by the hospital and some which have been forgotten by former patients but never claimed back.

-She noticed a book with “Snow White” written on it, curious she pick it and realized it was an essaie about her tale or rather about the original Snow White’s tale.

-The essaie was analysing the meanings of the tale with as a base the question “What make Snow White more beautiful than the Evil Queen?” and goes on explaning about Snow White’s pure heart, how her kindness, empathy and generosity made her way more genuinely loved by her peers than the Evil Queen who despiste being very beautifull was bad and vile.

-Apple thinked about what she read, she hadn’t indeed be kind with her peers for a long time and know she think about it the more she think about her mother the more she realize that “kindness”, “empathy” and “generosity” didn’t fit her either.

-She ended up crying, she feel like a fake, like her mother, her family, her lineage, her whole life was a lie and that same lie made her lost everything: her future, Daring, all her friends.

-She thinked about Raven, who was very nice despiste who her mother was, a girl with who she could have been friend if she hadn’t be so selfish and prideful.

-Also, she don’t know if it was due to her damaged mind but when she thinked about when she saw Raven when she tried to kidnap her she swore that her hair were darker, her white skin sparkling as snow and her lips having a more reddish shade and surrounded by people who care about her and who would protect her at all cost.

-Maybe Duchess was right? Maybe all this was signs that Raven would make a better Snow White? Maybe she doesn’t deserve this destiny after all?

-Some times later Snow White visited her daugter, just as she entered the room she goe all over dramatic saying to Apple to not worry, that they will find a solution and force Raven to come back and that once she got her happy ending everything will come back to normal.

-But in Apple’s mind it was grotesque! How can things be back to normal when nothing was normal at the start? How can things be normal when it was nothing but a lie? and she snapped, she beging screaming at her mother to stop with her delusions! How she don’t want to go after Raven! How she don’t want to keep living a life which is nothing but a lie and for getting a tittle she doesn’t deserve!

-Snow White shocked tried to calm her down but Apple was having none of it, she become more aggressive, yelling, screaming at Snow White to get out, to leave her alone.

-At the same times, Apple’s father and some nurses stormed in the room after being alerted by Apple’s screams and while the nurses tried to calm down Apple, her father angry made Snow White leave the room and after an argument in which Snow White stubbornly stated that Apple was okay and just needed to follow her destiny, that was the last straw for Apple’s father who decide to divorce his wife and to fight to had the custody of Apple.

-After rough court legal fights and custody fight, Apple’s father got the dicorce in his favor and became the sole legal guardian of Apple much to the horror and wrath of Snow White.

-After that Apple’s father withdraw her from Ever After High despite all headmaster Grimm’s efforts to keep him from doing it and father and daughter moved to a country far far away from the White kingdom and Apple was then placed in a well reputed mental institution.

-During her stay at the mental institution, Apple spend her days writting as a part of her therapy.

-Most of those writting are letters in which she say to Raven and all of her former classmates how she regret what she had done, how sorry she was and that she don’t deserve their friend for the pain she inflicted them.

-At first she planned to send the letters but in the end she didn’t had the courage to do it and keep them hidden in her bedroom.

-Finally, after months of therapy Apple was mentally stable enough to leave the institution.

-From here she decided that if she going to had an happy ending, she will create her own, by herself, as herself and not because of a meaningless title.

-She beging practissing her new powers every day and one day she got an invitation to a magical school.(Which magical school is your choice! just not Night Raven College please! I think that for the “Redemption path” it’s important for Apple’s character to had developpement away from the others EAH characters before she meet them again)

-Before she leave for her new school, she wrote some last letters for Raven and her friends that she finalliy decide to send along with all the others letters she wrote but never send.

-And after this Apple leave for her new school and a new page was turning for her with the hope of a brighter future and for her own true happy ending.

TAG LIST :( a reblog will get you a place in the tag list! ^^)

@virgil-is-a-cutie

@zebrabaker

@icant-choosename-help

@twistedwonderlxnd

@cowardlybravette

@iwilldietomorrowyees

[alexisthedevilsfox]

Hi guys, this is special moodboard because there’s a story attached to it. It’s @lace-maze​ fault because she mentioned Soulmate AU and I immediately had an idea for a story. 

It’s Schneeplebro (Henrik x Chase) and it’s Soulmate AU where the first thing they say to you is written on your body (in their handwriting). 

@pistachio-lan​ @murder-schmurder​ - Tagging you two because I think you might like it 😉

Also… Thank you, Lace for being my beta reader and helping me with the right words and stuff 💕💕 

Now… without further ado, let’s begin.

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“Well hello there, handsome.”

That was written on Henrik’s forearm in messy handwriting and when he was old enough to understand it, he liked the idea that his soulmate would think he’s handsome. It was something he looked for when he had a bad day or when he freaked out because of exams.

However, as time went by, he realized that finding his soulmate would be almost impossible. A lot of people ended up never finding their soulmate. At best, it took years and years to finally find them. Henrik didn’t have that luxury; with him trying to get his PhD, he was glad to find time to just sleep and eat. The sentence on his hand became what it always was, just a sentence. He knew it was there but he just ignored it and two years later, he met Lydia. They met in the library and found that they had a lot in common, so they decided to go on a date. They both pretended that their soulmate wasn’t waiting somewhere in the world for them, because they had each other, and that was enough. It was enough to get married and have two children and Henrik knew that they were happy.

But then, Lydia found her soulmate.

It was a tennis instructor named Rick, someone so obviously Lydia’s other half. Henrik couldn’t even be angry at her. Not when he could see she was happy, far happier that she had been with him.

Henrik was jealous. The last time he cried was the day their daughter was born, but he couldn’t help crying again now. Lydia tried to comfort him. She put her hand on his shoulder and with a gentle smile told him she believed he would find his soulmate too. It was bittersweet, but he was grateful that at least for a while she was his wife.

Once he calmed down, they decided what to do next. They sat down with James and Freddie and explained what had happened and what’s going to happen now. They already knew about soulmates, because he and Lydia had already talked to them about it, but they still had a lot of questions.

Both of them answered patiently and assured the kids that they still loved them and that none of this was their fault.

Divorce was fast after that and because Henrik himself didn’t need such a large house, he moved away. He found a small apartment that was enough, but of course there was an extra room for his kids. He was able to see them almost every weekend or when he had time off, and for which he was very happy and always pleased with the smile the kids gave him when he showed up.

Unfortunately, three years passed and he was still alone. He had assumed it, but he still hoped that maybe… maybe his soulmate would show up after all

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One day, when Henrik had the kids with him again, he didn’t know what they could do, but his children came up with an idea. From what they were saying, Henrik understood that they were watching a man on YouTube who had a channel named Bro Average and that he was doing a variety of videos, including skateboard tricks. Apparently, there would be a show in their town that day where different people show their tricks and one of them should be the man. If the doctor remembered correctly, they said his name was Chase. They begged him to go and see him. What kind of father would Henrik be if he said no?

So right there Henrik was. He watched a bunch of teenagers and adults trying to break their neck in a cool way and he hated it. Well… it was impressive… that much he could say, but still… he saw the fractures and injuries that could have happened and he didn’t like it. But he also saw James and Freddie’s enthusiastic expressions, so he kept quiet.

Then, as soon as the man with bright green hair showed up on the ramp, his children and other people began to scream. He couldn’t be much younger than Henrik, wearing black jeans and a loose gray shirt. Henrik admitted to himself that the man was really cute, and with that smile and energetic appearance he understood why his children were watching him. He was introduced as Chase Brody and he gave the audience a wave. Then hopped on the skateboard and the show began. He was really good and the audience cheered and screamed his name until something happened. Henrik didn’t see what caused it, he only saw as the man fell down from a really high ramp and bumped his head. Someone screamed in horror and people ran to him.

Henrik knew subconsciously that they had it under control, but the doctor in him did not, so he jumped over the railing with a cry that he’s a doctor and ran to the injured man. Nobody tried to stop him, so he knelt beside the green haired man and examined him thoroughly. There was no blood and the man groaned in pain but opened his bright blue eyes, immediately fixating them on the doctor. For a moment Brody just looked at Henrik with a blank expression but then he smiled.

“Well hello there, handsome.” Said the green-haired man, and Henrik just shook his head. It seemed that Mr. Brody was perfectly fine if he was trying to flirt with him.

“I think you have a slight concussion but thank you” Henrik replied and helped Brody sit up. He wanted to look more closely at his head to make sure everything was all right. But then he realized what Brody had said.

“You just… you said my sentence.” He said in shock, staring into those bright blue eyes.

“And you said mine.” Brody smiled even more than before. “It’s nice to finally meet you, handsome soulmate.” He said.

“I… uh… I should take you to the hospital to… to make sure your head is okay.” The doctor said, his cheeks slightly pink.

“Nah… it’s fine. This isn’t my first rodeo. How about some tea instead? Or coffee. I don’t mind either. By the way… I’m Chase. Chase Brody.” The green haired man introduced himself.

“I’m Henrik but… I can’t right now. I have my kids with me because they wanted to see you. They’re your fans” He gestured toward where his kids stood. Chase glanced in that direction and waved as soon as he spotted them.

“That’s cool and we can take them with us. I also have children around the same age, so I know how to handle them.” Chase smiled again. Henrik was absolutely mesmerized by his blue eyes and smile. He was a really beautiful man and he really wanted to know more about him. That was why he agreed with what Chase had suggested.

They left the skatepark and, of course, picked up Henrik’s children, who were absolutely thrilled that their dad was a soulmate of their favorite YouTuber. They went to a café that was nearby and ordered tea for the kids and Chase, while Henrik ordered coffee. 

While they waited for their ored, Freddie and James bombarded Chase with question after question, covering for their father’s nervous and excited silence. Thankfully, Chase just laughed and answered each one with all the patience of a good father. Henrik couldn’t help smiling as he watched, relieved that the three of them were getting along so naturally. He hoped Chase’s kids would like him just as much.

They were interrupted only when the waitress brought them their order, but as soon as they thanked her, they started to debate again. When Freddie and James were satisfied, they finally let their father ask questions. But Henrik was not like his eager children, and he let Chase ask what he wanted to know, so they took turns. 

But after some time, Henrik had to excuse himself.

“I’ll be right back, just going to the bathroom.” He said, got up from the table and went to the toilet. 

The doctor wasn’t gone too long, but when he was coming back to the table, he heard his son talking to Chase in a serious voice.

“You’re our favorite YouTuber and you’re cool but if you hurt our dad, you’re gonna pay for it.” James said and Freddie nodded in agreement. Henrik had no idea how to react. He wanted to scold them that they can’t talk to people like that, but he was also deeply touched that they care for him so much.

“Don’t worry, dudes. I would never want to hurt your dad. He’s my soulmate…” Chase starts answering, then notices Henrik and smiles at him, „and he’s even better than I ever imagined my soulmate to be.” he winked at him.

“You’re such a flirt!” Henrik laughed as he sat back in his chair.

“Yeah, but I’m your flirt from now on, so deal with it.” He gave him a quick answer, with a big grin on his face. 

“God, what are you punishing me for?” the doctor jokingly asked.

“Hey!” Chase pouted, while Freddie and James giggled.

Henrik felt like he was dreaming. This was something he wished for so long that it was almost unreal that it really happened. He could feel tears in his eyes, so he blinked rapidly to stop them from spilling out. But one of them found its way out anyway, so he wiped it with his hand, hoping that no one noticed. But Chase did. He reached out and took Henrik’s hand in his, squeezing it lightly as an assurance that everything is okay. Henrik mouthed a ‘thank you’ to him and smiled. He believed that from now on, things would be much better than ever… because now, he finally had his soulmate with him. 

[one-shots-blog]

Wonder

A/n: Hello, part 3 of my series. I finished watching the TV show, Psych again, My favorite character is Carlton Lassiter. I was thinking about writhing some Psych fanfic. Tell me what you think.  Do not own anything. 

Hours went by until Jay got done telling the Cullens and Bella what happened through the years of Hogwarts. The good and bad times she experiences because she was friends with Harry Potter. 

Jay walked down the stairs after Hermione, nervous about going to the Yule Ball. She knew her friends would not approve the guy that was her date, but that did not matter. She accepted him for everything he has done in the past, and she hoped her friends believed in her.

Slowly, she makes her way towards her date, dress gliding against the floor. She was wearing a sequinned lace green dress with a satin basque waist, hugging her figure perfectly, showing her curves.

 She smiles when her eyes meet Harry's, seeing how dashing he look next to his date. Her head turns to meet the silver-gray eyes of her partner, knees becoming week. 

A blush appears on her face when he holds out his hand for her. Jay slides her hand in his grateful, not tripping down the stairs. Notably, in front of the many pair of eyes on them. "You look beautiful," Draco said, smirking when he notice her blush. He loved it when he could make her cheeks flush because of him—rolling her eyes at his arrogance before leading them to the Great Hall, awed by the transformation. 

" I love magic," she said, breathless, glancing at Draco with a grin. Standing in the front, she was able to see the four contestants open the dance, which was beautiful to see. 

"Can I have this dance?" Draco asked the same smug smirk she grew to love on his face, as he offers his hand. "I would love to, " she replied, allowing him to drag her to the dance floor that many couples occupied.

Jay places her head against Draco's chest, dancing to the slow beat, enjoying the peaceful moment.  "Potter and Wessel keep glaring at me," he mumbled in her ear, bringing her closer to his boy. Jay groaned mentally, knowing they can never have one night of peace, "ignore them. They don't like I went with the school's ferret," she teased, loving the disappearance of his arrogant smirk. 

Draco glares at her slightly, not liking she brought up the embarrassing moment for him. He still resented the buffoon as a teacher, but could not do anything to get that man fired. He tried. "Shut up," he grumbled, pouting slightly to the point only Jay realized it. Jay laughs, shaking her head, leaning up to press her lips against his for a second. "Sorry, Baby Draco. Did I hurt your poor feelings?"

Draco growled, not like she was teasing him, even if he did like her. No one messes with Draco Lucius Malfoy. He grins mischievously, hands on her waist as he pulls her close till there was no space between them. He roughly kissed her, not caring about the people that could see them together. Her hands wrapped around his neck, deepening the kiss. Her body felt on fire; butterflies in her stomach made her feel giddy. 

Few seconds pass until the two broke apart, trying to get air in their lungs. Draco stared at Jay, realizing this is the girl he wants to be with, no matter what. "I love you," he whispered, cupping her cheeks in his hands, kissing her gentler this time. 

Jay's eyes light up, hearing what Draco told her. Her heart beats fast, loving the rare side of Draco; she only sees because she feels special. "I love you too," she confessed, not wanting this moment ever to end, not knowing the horrors to come. 

"Jay?" Bella, meekly said, not want to anger her cousin since it appeared she remembered something special. Jay's head snaps towards Bella's spot on the piano with Edward, her eyes narrowed, scanning the area.  

"Yes?" Jay questioned, calming down as she felt Teddy in her arms, sleeping. She sighs, glancing over the vampire family, not feeling utterly comfortable with them since Hermione and she had a bad experience with one. 

Emmett is bouncing up and down, excited to ask her to follow up questions since he wanted to learn more about the magical world. Rosalie kept glancing at the child, longing in her eyes to get close to the boy. Alice frowned, not understanding why her powers were not working, and could not see any of their futures. Jay would connect to their future, but it frustrated Alice for it to be unknown. Jasper sat next to Jay, feeling comfortable next to her, not wanting to drink every drop of blood. He felt connected to her and wanted to be there for her. Not like the fact, there was already a man in her life. 

Carlisle sat beside his wife, not understanding how he did not know about the magical world. He heard rumors about witches and wizards but never knew it was real. He was fascinated this young woman lived through so much for her age and how strong she is. He would love to hear more and hope she would give her expertise on the medical side of the magic world. Esme stared at the poor girl, feeling sorry for her and everything that she went through. She did not like that Jay and her friends were in danger since they were 11. 

Bella was shocked at how much her cousin was hiding from her. Bella would have thought Jay was joking about being a witch and want to get her tested. Now, she was more accepting of the supernatural things that existed. I mean, Bella is dating a vampire. She then remembers, Jacob is a werewolf, so of course, witches were real. Edward glared at Jay, not trusting her for one bit. He did not like that her mind was blocked for him. He knew she was impacting Alice as well; this caused him to be cautious around her.  

Jay's phone beeps, making her shift in her seat, needing to reach the phone. She looked up, staring into the amber eyes of Rosalie if she remembered correctly. Hermione told her vampires could not conceive with each other, but there were some exceptions. Jay sighs, having a feeling Draco was trying to check up on her since it has gotten late. Debating, she finally thought it would be okay," would you like to hold him," she asked, Rosalie. 

The room went silent; everyone glancing at the two girls, wearily, not knowing how Rosalie will react. Bella opened her mouth to protest but shut it when Rosalie glares at her. "I would love to," Rosalie said softly, holding out her arms for the baby. Jay gets up, wrapping the blanket around Teddy, thinking about how cold Rosalie would feel to him. Jay gently sets Teddy in Rosalie's arms, noticing her gentle expression that seemed she was close to tears. 

Jay quickly gets her phone to see it was Draco. Rolling her eyes, she calls him, knowing she could cast a silencing charm because they knew who she was. Casting the Magic, she sits down beside Jasper, the boy that made her nervous. Not the scared nervous, but more like a schoolgirl crush nervous, which surprised her. 

"Hello?"

"Where are you? Please tell me you are not still with them." Draco said, worried. Jay could see him frantically pacing, which made her feel guilty for what she was putting him through. 

"Yes, but that is because my cousin had to know. She can be bossy as Hermione at times," she said, glancing at Bella, smirking at Edward just to piss him off. 

" Ah yes, little miss know it all was very bossy. Never knew why you are friends with her," he drawled, not caring that he was friends with Granger as well. 

Jay rolled her eyes, not bothered by his attitude, knowing he lashes out is his mechanism to protect himself. "I will stay the night. Now, do I keep Teddy, or do you want to get him? Also, you will not get me to leave. I need to make sure the Cullens and my cousin are safe. Did you do the thing I asked you?"

" Really? We were on vacation for you to relax. Did you tell Potter what is going on? You know he will not like the idea of Teddy being around those things. I will pick him up in an hour. I am doing it right now, so I will come over when it is complete. Send me the details on where I need to go. I love you," he drawled, not hiding his annoyance from her leaving him. 

"I love you too, ferret. It is just for one night; then, we will spend the rest of our vacation together. I still have those clothes I need to show you, you know. I think you will like the emerald green lingerie I got for you," Jay smiled when she heard his low groan. "I will see you later, love."

Hanging up, she waves her hand, disarming the charm, hearing the people around her talk. "Why could we not hear you?"

"Can you show me more magic?"

"Who was it?"

"Are you hungry?"

More questions were thrown at Jay, making her stop them with her hands. "Magic. Sure. None of your business, Eddiekins. I am, and I should feed Teddy while I am at it. " Jay said, getting up, waving her hand, and a pop sound scared everyone. There on the table was a bag that was not there before. Rummaging through the bag, she grabs a few things looking at Esme, "can you show me the kitchen?"

Before Esme could talk, Jasper stands, offering his hand, " I can show you, ma'am," he replied in his southern drawl, sending shivers down Jay's spine. Nodding, she motions for Rosalie to follow, knowing she did not want to give up Teddy anytime soon. The three went to the kitchen, silently, each in their minds thinking.

'I wonder if she will let me babysit.'

'She sure is interesting compared to her cousin. I do not see how the two are related,' Jasper thinking, hearing Edward growling at him. Jasper sends calmness towards Edward, not liking how he could read his thought.  

The two vampires watch the witch tinker around the kitchen, not minding the others were listening in excluding Bella. "Sorry, I need to feed him before he comes. Knowing him, he will not like that Teddy has been sleeping since he will be up all night," Jay explained, finish fixing the bottle. She then offers the bottle to Rosalie, surprising the two. The two thought she would take Teddy to feed him, not give the bottle away. 

"I feed him a lot of times. I figured you would want a chance," Jay explained, softly, careful not to press her. Rosalie smiles, nodding her head as she takes the bottle. She is beginning to feed Teddy, watching how his tiny fingers tried to grab the bottle. 

Jay moved to the side, grabbed her phone, silently took a picture of the scene, and thought of getting the photo developed. She figured Rosalie would like the photo to remind her of the baby. Jay's eyes trail toward the man that made her feel things should not. She wondered how his honey blonde hair felt if she ran her fingers through them. Jasper was muscular, unlike Edward, but lean, unlike Emmett. His skin covered in scars spaced most thickly together on his neck and jaw. 

A fighter screamed in Jay's mind, knowing how it feels to have scars from war. She knew who he was when she learned his name. She mentally thanked Hermione for getting that book of the Confederate Army, having a long chapter of the youngest Major Jasper Whitlock. Unconsciously, she adjusts her clothes, making sure none of her scars could see. After the final battle, it was hard for Jay to look at her body. It would take time for Jay to get most of the scars to fade with the help of Madam Pomfrey.

"Are you okay?" Jasper's voice interpreted Jay's thoughts, making her shake her head. "Sorry, was just thinking of something," she said, walking towards Rosalie, gently grabbing Teddy. She starts to pat him on the back, rocking him side to side, waiting for him to burp. Jay sings in a gentle tone, walking towards where the other vampires are. 

"Well, don't you look all motherly and comfortable with these blood-suckers," a cold, menacing voice drawled out, surprising the vampires and Bella with the sudden intrusion. 

Taglist 

@celebrity-obsessed

[in-tua-deep]

What type of wand and patronus Would the kids have in Hogwarts AU? Would any be animagi?

okay we are really scraping the barrel of my harry potter knowledge here,,, i didn’t even finish the books guys have mercy on me i genuinely had to do vague research to answer this but here we go

Luther: 

Wood: Holly. Holly wants often choose people engaged in dangerous or spiritual quests, and I mean Luther’s search for answers and the truth and figuring out his feelings regarding his father and his family is certainly a big old quest in my books. The wood is considered protective, which I thought would be a nice match for Luther’s durability and ability to act as a shield for his siblings.

Core: Unicorn hair. I just like the symbolism of loyalty to their first ‘owner’ and Luther struggling with breaking his connection to Reginald tbh. It’s also a very consistent wand core and Luther if anything is a creature of habit (he stayed at home and took orders for years) and would appreciate the loyalty and consistency of a unicorn hair core.

Diego: 

Wood: Blackthorn. This wood is supposed to be best suited to a warrior, and Diego is very much a fighter. This wand wood is found among aurors as well as people in Azkaban, which I thought would be a nice tie in since Diego has a strong moral compass but also tends to operate outside the law. The blackthorn bush was wicked thorns, and Diego does tend to be a prickly person, but is also has sweet berries which I’m making symbolically represent the soft squishy side we all know he has.

Core: Dragon heartstring. A powerful core that learns quickly, but is also the most temperamental. Which I feel like matches Diego pretty well? He’s got his own mood swings but is a powerful individual who goes out of his way to help others even when there’s no real reward in it for him. 

Allison: 

Wood: Silver lime. Silver lime is a very pretty wand and also has a reputation for performing best for seers and those skilled in legilimency. Of which Allison ends up being exceptionally proficient in. She ends up being really good at all the mind arts, actually. If you need to obliviate someone, Allison is someone you want on your side. Plus the status the wand wood gives matches her ambition.

Core: Veela hair. It’s a temperamental wand core, but I feel like Allison has the stubbornness and mental fortitude to succeed with this wand core. She can be temperamental as well for sure lmao but also I like Veela hair for the effect veelas have on people which could be considered a soft of mind magic. Allison’s wand is literally the “mind magic wand” okay that is all

Klaus: 

Wood: Sycamore. Sycamore is a questing want that is eager for new experiences and, when bored, will literally combust. If that isn’t the perfect wand for someone as much as drama queen as Klaus then I don’t know what is?? The wand is for those curious and adventurous, and I mean. Look. People don’t wax their ass with chocolate pudding because they’re boring, and they don’t stay in Vietnam during a war for a year without having enough courage for a few adventures

Core: Thestral hair. Come on, I didn’t go with a wand wood associated with death but this one was free for the taking. Invisible creatures visible to those who see death??? Come ON. It’s perfect for Klaus no I will not take any criticism. Apparently it’s unstable but I mean so is Klaus, so. 

Five: 

Wood: Red Oak. Red oak wands tend to choose people who are quick-witted and adaptable. Did I choose this wand wood just because of the words adaptable in the description? Maybe so. It’s a very good duelling wand, which Five excels at (a nod to his assassin/sniper skills in the show) with fast reactions (a nod to his jumping). 

Core: Thunderbird tail feather. A powerful core, but difficult to master. I feel like Five would be someone who has a somewhat temperamental wand that he needs to earn the respect of. Apparently this core can sense danger and cast curses on their own which I feel like Five would find cool since his whole things is being reactive and adaptive. I feel like him and his wand become super bros eventually.

Ben: 

Wood: Rowan. Rowan is a wood that likes the clear-headed and pure-hearted but also takes no shit. Okay it doesn’t say that but it does say that they frequently outperform other wands in duels despite the virtuous reputation, which I feel is fitting for Ben lmao. Rowan has a reputation for being protective, and I feel like Ben really excels at defensive magic?? He doesn’t like fighting but will it he has to

Core: Dittany stalk. There’s not really much info as a wand core, but as a herb it’s healing and restorative. Since I like the idea of Ben eventually pursuing being a mediwizard, I like the idea of him having a wand core associated with healing and fixing things. Ben is also like, the capybara sibling who no one wants to offend and as such can force others to get along so I feel like that’s appropriate as well! Since they all do research into their wand cores, Ben’s knowledge of Dittany comes in handy. Especially during their fifth year lmao

Vanya: 

Wood: Vine. Vine goes to witches and wizards with hidden depths, who seeks a greater purpose and astound those who know them best. I mean. Vanya definitely had hidden depth, had ambitions (first chair), and astounded her family by revealing her powers and destroying the world so. I also kind of like it symbolically, since vine isn’t wood from a tree so it’s not something you would think of as a wand wood which speaks to Vanya going under the radar

Core: Phoenix feather. The greatest range of magic, but take the longest to reveal themselves. I mean, Vanya’s powers certainly took a long time to manifest considering Reginald highkey drugged her for all of her childhood so there’s that. Phoenixes are independent and detached, and Vanya herself is the most independent in the show (has a stable job, has an apartment, published author, etc.) and the most detached (isolated for her entire life) so look it fits okay.

As for patronuses (patroni?) uhhHHHH

I feel like Luther’s is a lion (house pride), a bear (strength), or a dog (loyalty)

Diego’s is probably a wolf because he’s a ‘lone wolf’ that is actually very sappy and loves his dumbass pack no matter how much he denies it

Allison is uh? Maybe a snake (house pride/associations with manipulations), or some kind of bird. Don’t know why I just feel like she would have a nice bird patronus. Maybe some symbolic thing about her being the one to spread her wings and actually get married and have a kid in the show idk i’m making this up as I go along folks

Klaus probably gets a raven or a cat? Both very intelligent creatures with some association to death or bad luck (in the case of a black cat, depending on where you live)

Five hmm. My heart says a hare or a hummingbird perhaps? I like the idea of a hummingbird because of how quick it is, if you aren’t watching closely it really is like it does tiny baby teleports! Or maybe a fox, for the association with cunning?

Ben: obvious joke answer is an octopus or a squid lmao bring in some of the casual horror symbolism. Hey do you think Ben is chill with the great squid in the lake??? I’m not sure though in all seriousness. Maybe a rat like in the daemon au? Intelligent and very good creatures uwu

Vanya: HMM. An owl? or maybe something super fancy like a phoenix actually. I feel like there’s plenty of symbolism regarding phoenixes that could match up well with Vanya, including but not limited to her whole being reborn as the White Violin thing in the show yeah you know what i’m going with phoenix why not

As for being animagi - yes! The whole squad starts working towards it in their 5th year with some prompting from ghost!Fred after an Incident Occurs but I have no idea what their forms would be tbh outside of stuff I already suggested for them with patronuses. Though I guess their patronus could be one thing I considered and their animagus forms another?? Who knows!

Author’s notes: 

Luther I almost picked Ebony just for stubborn points. I liked Pine for Diego until I got to the point of “these wands are destined for long lived people” and then i was like lmao nope that’s none of the Hargreeves save perhaps Five they all died at thirty. Allison I also considered Elm and Applewood for, Applewood especially if I remember correctly.

I liked Aspen and Maple for Five a lot! Aspen I like for the dramatic imagery of Five with a white wand I’ll admit lmao but I like what I ended up choosing. Klaus I also liked Yew (but felt it was too obvious because it’s supposed to be a wand with power over life and death) and Dogwood, which is apparently for mischievous and loud witches and wizards. Fred and George had dogwood wands!!

Ben I also considered Alder and Beech but I liked Rowan better lmao. Vanya was so hard!! I really loved Elder for her with its deeply unlucky association. I also really liked Cedar since it “carries the potential to be a frightening adversary, which often comes as a shock to those who have thoughtlessly challenged them” which I feel is very Vanya

alright that’s all i got for now i’m tired and looking at wand woods is way more in depth than i was originally planning on going for this au lmao if you have different opinions or suggestions i would love to hear them uwu