#Also idk if she actually looks like this I just entertained the idea bc i LOVE one of the faces I mixed here i find it stunning

[congolese-kitty]

y'all.

how stupid would it be for me to uhaul with this girl i met last month. just had a giant ass wrench thrown in my housing plans so i'm on my own for that now but the possibility has crossed my mind

[coffeesleep-ooc]

DNNNH but LiuShen

Recently I’ve been watching Dungeon no Naka no Hito and my brain decided ro just spam me with sv thoughts.

(beware spoilers for the anime btw!)

For ppl that hasn’t seen it, it’s an adventurer who tried to find her father in a dungeon only to end up being employed there by the administrator! She lives a lot of new experiences with this new job, like understanding a bit of how the dungeon works, that some monsters ate intelligent, why some monsters drop gems, the relationship between the dungeon and the outside world etc etc…and there’s even some hints of a potential relationship between the cute admin and the protagonist!

So i was thinking her ‘must be strong’ cold no friends personality - even though she is loyal to a fault and still tries her best to find her only family and better her fighting strength - would fit LQG quite well! And administrator-san who is apparently op as heck but happy and sweet and messy like nobody else fits SY!SQQ quite well!

So imagine:

LQG is initially wary bc he (she? him? she??? idk if i should make them girls, it would be cute either wayyyy, girls have their own charm but they work ao well as giya in denial too…) didn’t come here for this, and this pretty person leading him who knows where could always be a very elaborate illusion or trap of the dungeon. But then he actually fights him and its a whole thing that doesn’t let him sleep at night. It was that spectacular…and later on he becomes the only human companion to the administrator of the dungeon, they have other people and beings in there, but still it appears tha SQQ is quite lonely. Regardless, LQG lost and has to fulfill his end of their deal, so he works: he does stuff like move supplies, refill the dungeon’s chests, train in the shadows, and anything and everything SQQ can think of.

LQG doesn’t understand how SQQ can work with so many things around. SQQ is still dying of shame bc his new friend employee saw the surveillance room before he tidied everything up.

He also admires SQQ’s sense of duty and passion. He likes to see him smile and pretend that he isn’t tearfully hoping Liu Qingge won’t throw away the very unusable stuff he has accumulated, like the 100 holes umbrella (‘it will have an use’, he says, ‘it converts water in other random things of the same size of the hole’, he says. ‘Isn’t that cool???’ He also says). LQG likes to watch him pat the fax slime (mo idea where a word like fax came from, but the thing is useful at least) after it spits out documents, or excitedly play with low level monsters in the first floor.

He also likes to see WQW (the resident dwarf blacksmith) scold SQQ for delaying the patrols and forgetting to organize the administrator's room. It’s…entertaining to see his face contort trying not to pout.

LQG likes working in the dungeons with SQQ, with WQW and everyone else.

And SQQ? Well, SQQ is always there for LQG’s progress as a warrior now. He watches him growl and frown when he doesn’t understand something (most of the things related to monsters, magic and the dungeon itself), watches his eyes light up when there’s battle or training, watches him go into pensive modes when there’s something new he just learnt.

SQQ definitely doesn’t listen in secret as LQG tries to imitate the language of one monster they interviewed earlier that day. He does not struggle to silence his giggles when LQG unknowingly says something vulgar.

SQQ doesn’t smile when he watches LQG struggling but doing his best to accept whatever the dungeon throws at him. He is not looking at LQG barely managing to contain his excitement when talking of weapons with WQW and feeling fond. He is not…

Who is he kidding? SQQ is happy he has a…coworker now. He is happy he has a companion. Since the previous administrator left he has been… craving human contact maybe. Just maybe.

*

There is another scene in particular that i think would be extremely funny with these two. When they sit down to eat, imagine SQQ asking LQG why he (or she?) doesn’t eat anything aside from the basic bread and meat that he gets in the kitchen rations, and he says his big sister (almost parental figure) taught him that messing with cooking could kill him if he didn’t do it right.

then proceeds to tell SQQ of the time he tried to put salt in his soup, only to make it a disgusting mess that couldn’t be eaten and would surely kill him if he tried while SQQ (who also has mo idea of cooking) listens with horror

This is someone else’s cue to enter and say:

“You are really strong but don’t know anything of the world, do you? You are not supposed to throw in a huge rock of salt but grind it and use a little bit of the sand that rests.”

SQQ & LQG: Oh…

And then comes chef extraordinaire LBH to try and teach these two about cooking, stopping LQG feom making the ingredients paste, stopping SQQ from tasting the peeling of the onions, amongst other difficult things that make him end up in the floor looking at the ceiling with a lost gaze that speaks of the horrors

he does find top grade ingredients that make him salivate and put puppy eyes at SQQ

LQG has his world changed after one Hap-i mean…one Binghe meal!

*

Or alternatively! Shen Qingqiu has to go renew his contract with the new ruler of the nation and be able to be a self-ruling dungeon-town. He thinks this is too much work. So he asks LQG ro disguise himself as the actual dungeon admin and fight the king in his place! What does hw mean he’s not strong enough yet? Ofc he is! Believe this poor overworked administrator Liu-dada! He won’t let you be in danger anyways! (LQG is unimpressed)

there’s a problem tho, the king wants to win no matter what, so when the fight goes ro LQG’s side he secretly orders his strongest bodyguard to subdue the seemingly soft and weak young master that accompanies the “master of the dungeon” so he can make LQG surrender of his own volition. However, when he turns, the strongest man in the whole country is unconscious himself while SQQ rapidly stands up to cough awkwardly (yes, his eyes didn’t deceivw him, this young master was poking at his bodyguard and playing with his unconscious form). Lets say that the young king ends up fighting an angry LQG while SQQ tries to calm them both down.

when they finally renew the contract tho, SQQ asks if there’s any questions and the king says:

“i-if i may be so bold to say…you fought beautifully, I- this one is called Luo Binghe, could i ask for your name?”

SQQ: o.o

LQG: … ò.ó

SQQ: S…L…! I-I!!! MY NAME IS MU QINGFANG GOODBYE

SQQ was still breathing heavily after the transportation light dimmed inside the admin room.

“You said you were the dungeon’s slime.”

“S-shut up!”

“Wei Qingwei is going to yell at you.”

“I SAID SHUT UP!” (Insert very manly whines here)

LQG feels…annoyed. He doesn’t want SQQ to go away with some king that has no manners. He wants SQQ to stay with him for…for a long time. Mmm, he must be catching something to feel this bad, maybe he shouldn’t have pushed himself so far in training the day before.

The king tried to dins info on this MQF to invite him to dinner, he is still sighing hopefully, sadly that “MQF” has no idea he is losing an interesting meal. LQG finds out and is angry for a whole week for no reason, he wants to go fight the king asap! SQQ is confused.

*

Was also thinking about where SQH would fit in here bc i love cumplane way too much too, and that made me think of Qijiu as well, so this another idea came to the braincell.

L: “Wait, so your shizun is still alive?”

“yeah…the dungeon was his passion and everything, but he found his childhood sweetheart and eloped. I mean, I’m glad he didn’t have just the dungeon you know? But then, Qinghua also eloped! That b-p-person!”

LQG fondly ignored the softly said: “stupid pair of assholes leaving me here to manage their responsibilities!” He already knew that SQQ said that to hide his real feelings.

“and Qinghua was…?”

“oh,he was shizun’s other disciple, but his magic was less combat oriented i guess? So shizun made me his successor…An ice monster kidnapped Qinghua after shizun was gone for two years.”

“An ice monster did what?!”

“Willingly, he was willingly kidnapped to do paperwork and have his children.”

LQG was speechless.

SQQ snorted.

“Im just kidding, he went to become an advisor.”

*

MQF should be a slime.

Ik how it sounds but hear me out too. There’s this cool system in DNNNH (or maybe it should be DNH? Idk) where slimes are monsters of the dungeon that are just there and never attack you, but behind the scenes there’s a gigantic slime that is the “mother”, and the admin periodically cuts bits of the giant slime to produce smaller copies that act like lil cleaners of the place (they dissolve stuff) and qhen they lose most of their magic and become rlly tiny and get to join the mother again.

so, was thinking that MQF should be the head cleaner alime version! So he sends lil copies of himself to dissolve stuff and clean!!! But he sleeps a lot or eats ravenously things that fontain magic power to replwniah his energy so he has lass interaction with LQG and SQQ!

QQQ could be one of the dungeon bosses in a grumpy violet cat form maybe. Other peak lords could also be nom-human staff.

there’s human connections tho! Like the guild’s directors and adventurers that try hard to pass each floor… and the one cooking episode with soup…and fried veggies…

…now im also hungry

*

I theorize that the protag’s father accidentally fell into the demon’s world. So i imagine a big sister LMY happily writing the equivalent of bl after falling into that world lsndmsjsj.

her (or his? Gender bent thoughts attack again) works are so famous that they reach othwr worlds too!

and LQG finds one, he thinks ‘this is…somehow familiar?’ but he doesn’t know why!!!

SQQ finds the book and misunderstands tho. Rip.

“To think he would have this kind of tastes…well, one needs to have a hobby no?”

SQQ read da book, tears da book apart - metaphorically -. New hobby unlocked too!

*

I also think that the king could come to the doors of the dungeon after finding nothing ofthe mysterious MQF and oofer food to the beautiful and shy MQF.

LQG would be raging, SQQ running for his life and the rest of them wondering why the human king wants ro court a regular slime. Though he will certainly manage with food.

*

I may or may not add more to this if i get any ideas…

[gayforminatozaki]

my guesses on who in twice is a homo!!!

note: these are literally just assumptions. I'm not insisting they ARE lesbian/bi/straight I'm just saying what I think based on things I've picked up on over the years. I'll add my reasoning for each guess after. once again these are ASSUMPTIONS and not fact I could be wrong for every single member. this is all just for fun please don't bet your life on this.

nayeon: imma be real I think she's bi, some of her mannerisms/actions seem not very straight to me. I get that being touchy is common there but there's a difference between being touchy and disguising interest as being touchy. pretty sure she also said gender doesnt matter but idk what context that was in so i won't consider it fully. I'm not 100% sure but yeah I wouldn't be surprised if it was revealed she was bi.

jeongyeon: she's def interested in guys. the lack of her being interested in women makes me assume she's straight. I think that ppl just started calling her gay bc she has a short hairstyle when debuting and bc a lot of women like her.

momo: straight/bi. I think it may be like jeongyeon where a lot of women like her so the homo-ness kinda translates over to momo herself, but also she seems to rlly be into certain actresses. I have other reasons but idk if they're true/too risky to decide rn + i can't think of anything rn. but ya I have a small hunch that she COULD be bi.

sana: I am a genuine believer that sana is, in fact, gay. during twice private life ep.7 from 2016 you can see sana's boredom. she barely talked at all which is very unusual. when she did it was usually very basic stereotypical stuff (e.g. saying her ideal date would be "going on a walk, riding a bike..." it seemed like she was just throwing out ideas from her tone. she also never brought up her hypothetical "boyfriend" during the activites while other members such as jeongyeon did). I wrote a lot so a few honourable mentions: fan of soljiwan, "when I watch tv I'm more attracted to the women", her old twitter account, "more female fans want to marry me" (projection), I can't think of anything else rn.

oh yea and the reason I don't think she's interested in/dating dex is bc if you actually watch the latest interview, it seems like dex hasn't gotten at all less nervous. they don't seem to be dating. dex just seems like a fanboy. he says so himself in the giselle interview that he thinks that if he contacted her he doesn't think she'll respond. I think sana in the dex interview was just taking the opportunity to flirt with a guy who was very clearly into her for entertainment purposes and my god I wrote a lot can you tell i made this whole post for sana ok next person

jihyo: straight. idrk what more to add just use your head

mina: her charming aura messes with my senses and may I just say I have no idea. she checks out girls a lot more than usual but?? idk that's too vague to determine. momo does the same. during the private life she was also quiet and didn't talk, but didn't seem bored out of her mind like sana. that could just be her quiet nature tho. idk if anyone has any reasons for anything lmk. but for now I'll say: undecided.

dahyun: straight.

chaeyoung: bi. she 100% likes girls let's not kid ourselves. the flirting/changing lyrics to female pronouns/singing born this way/etc- and honestly? take this with a grain of salt but I genuinely do think that she might've had a crush on mina a few years back- then it faded but the michaeng ship didn't. everything after a certain point in time is fanservice. idk this is all speculation, I'm basing it off when she did those "gay" things. but I also think she liked guys since she mentioned how timothee chalamet was her type ("guys who look sick") which we can uhh clearly see in zion.t. she was also really into the twice private life (keep in mind it was during 2016- less media training and before michaeng) and actively talked and participated during the choosing a bf game (idk what else to call it lol). anyways yeah that's why I knew she was a boyliker shoutout to me for calling it.

tzuyu: straight. she's had a crush on a guy before and shows no interest in women you know what that means!

[agi-ppangx]

hello, hello, we meet again for a new idea of a ff. (atp I think I deserve an emoji or smth, so you can know it's me bcs get used to me giving you ideas. you write too beautifully to not have requests, I'm sorry. P.S.: js recommended you to a few friends and to my girlfriend and they all congratulated your skills of writing!💕)

anyway, what do you feel about an enemies to lovers trope with lee know? reader's a trainee (dancing is her speciality) and she is the first one to break the trainee record of being the fastest trainee to learn the basic JYP entertainment moves in 4 weeks, which she was very proud of. This until a new trainee comes, Lee minho, who learns the moves in 2 weeks, breaking reader's record. This gets reader annoyed and works even harder to prove the people around that she is a better dancer than him. They never talk, only rarely mocking each other when the other one wasn't around.

Then, it comes the Survival Show (im sorry - not really - but im changing the shows's rules. there will be two teams, FEMALE 2TEAM - made with Yeji, Yuna, Chaeryeong, Ryujin, Somi and reader - and MALE 2TEAM - we already know the contestants for this team- which will create then a group of people who didn't get eliminated. the elimination happens every episode, two people leaving) where the two of them have to work together in order to create the perfect balance for the choreography between the two teams. That's how they start getting along better and actually realize that they could be friends. They still had arguments but never something too big. When it was time for the elimination in episode 4, minho, reader and yuna were om the verge of elimination. However, only reader didn't get eliminated. Tears in everyone's eyes as minho and Yuna leave the set, but reader soon understands that it was minho's place to be in the boy group. She talks to JYP about being a bad idea the fact that it will be a mix group and that she prefers not to be involved in such a drama, in order to get minho back in the team. she succeeds and runs to minho, telling him the situation. (the last few sentences, make it soft like- fluffy? idk??)

~ the jeongin ff anon

💭the right thing

pairing: lee minho x fem!reader

an: im really for the wait but the fic is finally here !! i hope you'll be satisfied with it❤️ also thank you so so much for recommending my blog, it means the world to me🥹 and yes, you do deserve an emoji !! please let me know which one you choose<3

“our dancing queen~” you heard ryujin’s voice which interrupted your conversation with yuna. you looked up at her, curious what was that about. “i have bad news for you,” she added, sitting next to you. you raised your eyebrow - bad news? what kind of bad news? “someone broke your record, yn.”

you weren’t mad at all. were you mad? no, no, you weren’t. it’s okay, it’s just a stupid record. it’s nothing important. it’s okay. it’s not like it was something you’d worked hard your whole life. no. no, it’s fine. you were completely fine- “yn, put the knife down,” yuna said firmly, looking at your dissociated figure. “put it down, did you hear me? you have this weird absent expression on your face and it looks scary.” you slowly put the knife in the sink, sighing loudly, and leaned your hands on the counter. you felt yuna’s arms wrap around you from behind, gently placing her chin on your shoulder. “you know it means absolutely nothing, right? you'll always be our dancing queen,” she whispered, trying to cheer you up a little bit. did it work? no, no it didn’t, but you knew you couldn’t sulk for the rest of your life, so you just nodded weakly and proceeded with your daily routine, trying to forget about everything. after all, you had to prepare for the showcase and you didn’t have time to worry about some random dude you’ll forget in a month anyway.

your next practice was intense to say the least. It all started with just yuna, yeji and you, but then some other trainees decided to join you and after some time almost the whole practice room was filled with people. and among those people was lee minho, dancing at the front next to you. his presence was making you nervous, but motivated you as well. you tried your best for hours, sweat (and some tears) were making its way down your face, muscles hurting and head spinning, but you didn’t slow down. minho noticed your state in the mirror and mumbled something under his nose, smirking, but you didn’t catch it. so, you stopped the dancing and took a step in his direction. “you wanna repeat that?” you asked, your cold piercing gaze was trying to burn holes in his head. but he just looked at you and shook his head. “i don’t know what you’re talking about. go back to practising,” he responded, visibly happy with your annoyance. “you definitely need it more than i do,” he added with an evil smile, much quieter, but that you managed to catch. you scoffed at his words, amused by his exaggerated self-confidence and decided to try ignoring him for the rest of the practice. you had to prove something, not to get into stupid fights with minho.

“you need it more than i do,” you said in a mocking tone when you decided to take a break from practising. you were currently sitting in a convenience store with the girls, fumbling with your noodles and losing your appetite just thinking about minho. you were furious. “who does he think he is, huh?” you rambled on and on, your head hurting from all the negative emotions that were building up inside you. “yn, i love you, but i think you care a bit too much,” chaeryeong said softly, taking a sip of her drink. you looked at her and raised your eyebrow. she noticed your not-so-friendly gaze and spoke again. “don't get me wrong, but it really doesn't matter that he beat the record. there are so many other people who are great dancers without breaking the record, it's just a formality.” you nodded weakly at her words. she was right. of course it didn't matter. “besides,” ryujin started with a mouthful of ramen. “you still can show you're better by debuting sooner than him,” she continued and went straight back to eating. she was also right. the only way to show you were better than him was debuting and that was your goal.

“a mixed group?” you huffed after the showcase was done. you were still in your stage outfit, catching your breath after an exhausting performance. JYP surprised you all, deciding to change the rules a bit and create a mixed group instead of choosing one of your teams to debut. it wouldn’t be anything bad, but since minho was a part of the male group, to say you were mad was an understatement. “yn, look at the positives - we might be able to finally debut. you’ve been here for so long already, you should be celebrating,” yeji said firmly and the rest of the girls nodded with approval. “i am happy, of course i am. and i'm gonna celebrate. i just don’t feel too fancy about the fact that i might end up in one group with lee minho,” you exhaled loudly, sounding more and more defeated with each word. “i mean, nothing’s sure for now. lots of us are gonna be eliminated, so maybe he’ll be one of those people?” ryujin suggested and earned a slap on her arm from yeji. “stop the negativity, no one’s eliminated yet. let’s just go eat something and don’t think about anyone else other than ourselves,” yeji exclaimed, hyping you all up and you decided to drop the topic for the night and enjoy your little success, knowing that there was just gonna be harder with each day.

“no, no, i'm not doing this,” you whined loudly, falling on your bed late at night. your body was aching from the whole day of practising and recording a song JYP asked you to create with the male group. he assigned the composing to chan, changbin and han, while the people who were responsible for choreography were you and minho. and to no one's surprise you weren't happy about this. but you had nothing to say since it was JYP's decision - you had to respect it.

that's how you ended up in the boys' dorm, alone with minho. it was awkward, to say the least. you didn't know how to behave and since minho hadn't really said anything else than “come in” and “you wanna drink something?”you just stood there in silence and looked around a little. the rest of the boys either went to eat or stayed at the company to practise, so it was really quiet there. “chan sent me the finished song,” he finally spoke, his voice soft and steady. you nodded and asked him to play it to you so you could think about the choreography a bit. you closed your eyes when the song started playing and listened intently, paying close attention to certain parts of the chorus. when the song was done, you opened your eyes and noticed that minho was staring at you. you raised your eyebrow and he cleared his throat, converting his gaze at his phone. “so, um… do you have any ideas where we should start?” he asked faintly and you started to share your concept with him.

that's how your little cooperation started. your first choreography was met with a huge enthusiasm from both teams as well as JYP himself. you did well and because of that minho and you were officially in charge of creating a perfect balance in choreographies between both teams. you weren't as mad as before, because you actually kind of enjoyed working with minho - he had different experiences with dancing and therefore he was able to share his unique ideas with you. it wasn't too easy though, because you both had strong characters and you struggled to come to a compromise sometimes, but regardless of your small disagreements you warmed up to him and felt this weird urge to spend more time with him. what was happening to you?

that's why, when episode 4 came and you two were on the verge of elimination alongside yuna, you felt as if your world was going to collapse. you struggled to breathe standing in front of JYP. he had this serious expression and was looking at the three of you. “yn and minho,” you heard his voice and stiffened, your heart speeding and tears welling in your eyes. “you were in charge of the choreography again, but something didn't work this time,” he continued and your hands started shaking. minho noticed it and quietly took your hand in his, squeezing it to reassure you. JYP shared his feedback with yuna as well and you exhaled shakily. you were scared. “yn.” you looked up at JYP again, expecting the worst. “for me your enthusiasm and willingness to work and become even better is clearly seen. and even if this week you and minho didn't do your job properly, i see the most potential in you,” he continued in a serious tone. “that's why you are the one to stay. you can come back to your team.” you stood there in shock, tears now streaming down your face. you bowed clumsily and took a step back, your vision blurry. you didn't really remember the rest of his words, but when he left the set, you rushed to yuna and minho and hugged them tightly, sobbing. “i'm so sorry,” you babbled. “i'm so, so sorry.” “it's okay, it's not your fault,” yuna said shakily. she then smiled at you and went to say goodbye to others. you then hugged minho again, burying your face in his chest. “you should be the one staying here,” you mumbled, sniffling. “i'll fix this,” you added, looking him in the eyes. he only patted your head and smiled softly. “it's okay, we did a great job anyway,” he chuckled. “bye, yn. i liked to work with you even if you hate me” “bye, minho. i don't actually hate you.”

it wasn't right. no. it was his place, he belonged here. you spoke to JYP once, but he brushed you off after a minute. then you spoke to him for the second time, he said no. you tried again, he told you his decision was made. but you didn't want to respect it. it wasn't right. after episode 5 you went to him again. this time, he listened to you, taking in everything you wanted to say about this being a bad idea. “i'm willing to switch places with him, just please bring him back,” you pleaded. but he only said you should go back to your dorm. you cried on your way there. and you cried yourself to sleep that day.

episode 6 and minho came back. you couldn't believe your eyes - JYP brought him back. you didn't really listen to the man when he was explaining everything. you only saw minho - his eyes were so sparkly and when they met yours, you saw him smile widely. then JYP left the practice room to give you some time to reunite and you didn't waste time. you ran to him and immediately wrapped your arms around his neck. you rambled on and on that you were so happy to see him again and explained the whole situation. you must've started crying at some point cause minho had to wipe some tears from your cheeks. “i make you cry a lot, huh?” minho said jokingly when you stopped the ramble. “no wonder you hate me,” he added and your smile faded. “i don't hate you. if i did, i would've choked you instead of hugging you right now,” you giggled, smiling again. “fair point. but if you don't hate me then how do you feel about me?” minho teased, putting a strand of hair behind your ear. “i was hoping you would know by now.” “oh, i do. i just want you to say it out loud,” he said, his face getting closer and closer to yours. but you didn't respond to that, pecking his cheek instead and finally backing off a little to let the rest say hi to him. you were smiling the whole time and you knew you did the right thing.

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[onyourowndaisymae]

Yoo I have two request which I’ll send the other one separately but I am in an ANGSTY mood rn sooo yah also been binging ur headcanons and stuffs and I just love the way you write ?? It’s so entertaining lol

AnywY the actual request: can you write like a one shot or headcanons if you prefer of mc who is struggling after the belphie incident ?? Like they feel like they’ve mostly forgiven him and can act normally around him and they’re friends and take naps together but sometimes the flash back just HITS THEM and they have nightmares and panic attacks that can be so bad sometimes someone needs to get Simeon to calm them down. Maybe something of how the brothers react/treat mc and belphie? Idk I’m just thirsting for like MEGA ANGST rn bc my dad made me cry little bit lmao 😭

it comes at night

hello anon! i'm terribly sorry you're in such an angsty mood, though i thank you for all the love-- and for sending this request right as these ideas were on the front of my mind. it genuinely makes me so happy to see people enjoying my work, and it makes all the writer's block and such worth it. i cannot express enough how much i love seeing all the comments, reblogs, etc. as people engage with my work.

anyways. i'm not sure how i feel about this piece, especially with how LONG it ended up being, but maybe that's just my mushy brain talking after looking at it too long. regardless-- i hope you enjoy (well, y'know, in like a sad and angsty way).

synopsis: you thought you would be able to move on like all the others. your body was healed, your anxiety tucked neatly behind a mental wall built to keep you safe. yet something in you was stuck. you couldn't just move on. you were trapped in a battle between your friendship with belphegor and the fear gnawing at your brain as you remembered what exactly he did to you. when the dam finally breaks, your whole brain floods with terror, until you're swept away with it. nobody can save you now.

genre: angst, no happy end, just a big ol spoonful of sadness

word count: ~3.1k

content warnings: chapter 16 spoilers, graphic(?) discussions of death, depictions of panic attacks, nightmares, mc progressively getting worse from fear + lack of sleep

it's funny how time works. 

you'd been around your fair share of years. you’d grown, you’d changed, you’d spent your entire life looking toward the future you had planned. then you, a mere human, were yanked into an unfamiliar world. you spent an entire year in the devildom– a year that simultaneously dragged on and flew by– and came out the other side a new person. a single year in the devildom has changed you more than the human realm has your entire life. time was a mischievous thing, always leaving you chasing behind in a fruitless pursuit of something you’ll never quite understand.

but, she also brings blessings with her. they say that time heals all wounds. you've always agreed with that sentiment. scraped knees and adolescent broken hearts are swept away with the passing days, trailing further and further behind you until one day you forget to look back and remember them. the pain scribbled down on diary pages or cried into pillow cases no longer stings like a fresh burn. these things are nothing but scars now. time has a special way of patching you up, of rubbing your back until the tears clear up and you can finally see again. that is how it's always been. 

where is time when you need it? 

she hasn't quite abandoned you, this much is true. cuts and bruises heal over the passing days. your hair and nails still grow. your body still changes, slowly but surely, marching onwards week after week. yet your mind is trapped in stasis. you struggle to break free, but at times the rot consumes you whole, until you’re crying under the covers and begging from respite from the memories. 

on the worst nights, you find yourself in the attic again, watching the door between you and belphegor swing open. you watch yourself march towards death.

you can still feel his hands around your neck, digging his claws into your fragile human skin like you're made of sand. the scent of blood-- your own blood, on the floors, on the walls, leaking from your torso and staining your clothes a permanent maroon-- still clings to the inside of your nose. even your wildest dreams could not erase the sight of his smug grin, the way his eyes lit up looking at your battered body.

no one person should have to carry the weight of realizing they're going to die. that's what you thought about when your body hit the bottom of the stairs, when belphegor tossed you down from the attic with a harsh laugh and punted your limp body into the entrance hall. you thought about how unfair this all was. you were just trying to help. you thought you were doing the right thing.

one of the worst parts of your untimely demise was watching the others react. the voices pool together in your head, like the colors of the rainbow twisting together on the surface of an oil spill. asmo's panicked shriek blends into satan's angry shouts, desperate to understand what's going on. lucifer's yelling almost drowns out the fearful cries coming from levi, held back by a very silent beel. 

but above all of that, you remember mammon. your first man, the first demon who took a chance on the defenseless little human, rushing to your side and gathering you in his arms like you were about to break. his hand on the side of your face, the tears streaming down his face, the shaky, desperate voice assuring you that you'll be okay and begging you to hang on, okay? please don't leave me. you can't remember if he was shaking or if it was your body's last ditch effort to stay conscious-- maybe both. your trembling fingers intertwined with his. words came out of your mouth, and you're not sure what exactly you said, but he only cried harder in response. 

and then, as your eyes shut for the final time, you woke at the bottom of the attic stairs. you had cheated death. 

your price? you had to carry the memories. 

the world kept spinning. days passed in the devildom. you returned to school, kept on top of your homework, spent your days in the house of lamentation alongside the seven demon brothers. you even got to know belphegor as he navigated his return home. he quickly grew fond of you. that, in and of itself, was jarring. but you returned each and every smile with one of your own. his actions were rooted in his own grief for his sister, you knew, and for that you could not fault him. you helped him repair the severed relationships between him and his elder siblings, stitching the family back together like a prized quilt until the seams of betrayal were sufficiently hidden. 

time is a traitorous bitch. why did she choose now to leave your wounds bare and bleeding?

everyone moved on but you. everyone got to wake up in the mornings without a nagging anxiety holding them back. the others could hang out with belphegor day in and day out without a growing feeling of dread popping up when you think you're safe. 

he killed you. he was grieving. your blood drenched the entryway floors as he laughed. he has grown. you watched the light leave mammon's eyes as you slipped away. belphie has been nothing but kind to you since that day. you fucking died. 

you wish your mind could pick a side. did you forgive him, or did you resent him? was he your friend, or your killer? these answers evaded you in the dead of night as you struggled to sleep again. it was becoming more common for you to lose hours of rest to these nagging fears. who are you? are you even you anymore? did the switch in timelines scatter your atoms across countless universes, leaving the you that looks back at you in the mirror nothing more than a hollow shell? 

you thought that you could keep your mind on a tight leash, keep your cards close to your chest as you continued to live with the brothers. you were wrong.

the first meltdown came during a nap with belphie. you had grown to trust him-- you thought you trusted him-- enough to sleep around him. he'd coax you every so often into an afternoon nap. always in the light of day, always your choice. and for many afternoons, you were perfectly content with this arrangement. belphie was warm and cuddly, a perfect companion for a lazy afternoon. he had this way of making you feel safe as you slept-- the nightmares couldn't come when he was snuggled up next to you, when you were sure his actions were ones of affection and not another trick to gain your trust.

one afternoon, while the sun was beginning to set, you stirred under the warmth of the blankets. the body next to yours lingered close, steady breaths lulling you back to dreamland. you could stay like this forever, you thought.

and then you felt it. the gentle graze of a familiar cow tail against your skin.

something inside of you, a dam you didn't even know was there, snapped. a hot flash of panic rose up your throat as your whole body jerked away from the feeling. your eyes shot open and you found yourself in the last place you needed to be right now: the attic. you pulled yourself out of bed before your brain could catch up. colors flashed across your vision as a consequence. you whipped around, disoriented and upset, and spotted a sleeping belphie in the bed where you once were.

a sleeping, demon belphie.

the familiar curve of his horns made your throat spasm as you tried to breathe. the colors flashed in your vision again-- oh god, what a terrible time to be left defenseless-- as your brain tried to drag you back to that day. you could practically see his face shift from relief to malicious, insidious joy as he began to attack you.

"hehe... does it hurt? finding it hard to breathe? i'm sure it must be very unpleasant."

please. please no.

" i have to say, seeing a human face twisted in pain like this... why, it's so much fun that i can barely stand it! i... i can't contain the laughter!"

you weren't quite sure when you hit the ground, but it was loud enough to wake belphegor from his slumber. he peeled his body off the mattress, slow and dazed, as he looked for you.

"mc? what're you... what's going on?"

please don't. this can't be happening.

your lungs collapsed from the weight of your own panic. you gasped-- once, twice, as your vision went in and out. were you bleeding? your hand loosely brushed at the front of your clothes, but couldn't process whether that was blood or your vivid imagination. were you even breathing? your head felt light and heavy at the same time. the wires in your brain were all crossed, sending both resuscitation and shutdown signals to each part of your body. this feeling... this was too familiar.

were you dying?

"mc, what's going on?"

you came face to face with belphegor. your friend, your killer. the demon who had lured you up to this very attic to kill you, now gripping your shoulders as interrogated you inches from your face.

you screamed. you screamed until your brain shut off completely, leaving you in an inky pit of darkness as your consciousness slipped away.

the house was in disarray for several days. apparently, lucifer came in shortly after you passed out, mammon at his heels, to save the day. you woke up later in his bed, the room cold and empty, with a throbbing head and a tear stained pillow. you stumbled out into his office to find him at his desk, lost in some paperwork like always. the solemn look he gave you as your eyes met told you everything you needed to know.

from this day forth, your fear was now your constant companion.

nobody in the house of lamentation knew how to move forward. not you, not the brothers, not the widening gap growing between you all with each passing day spent in emotional limbo. finally, lucifer called everyone to a family meeting where, over the course of an hour or two, everyone came to an agreement to acknowledge what had happened and why, promised to be mindful of this trauma that you're carrying, and move forward like you requested.

silent days slowly but surely filled back up with laughter again. the brothers came back to your side at their own pace-- asmo first, within a matter of hours, then mammon shortly after, then the others in the following days.

belphegor was the last to come around. his silence spoke volumes about his guilt. he had no clue how to comfort you. he'd do anything to repent for his actions. yet that was the way that life worked, didn't it? some actions simply cannot be undone.

but you didn't let that stop you. despite the panic that closed your throat every time you saw him for the next month, you slowly earned his friendship again. you assured him that the attic incident was a one time thing, the remnants of a lost nightmare blending into your consciousness as you awoke.

until it wasn't a one time thing.

the nightmares crept up on you. the first one happened, of course, that same night, as you thrashed and wept into lucifer's pillows. then a week later, another. a week and a half after that, another. the frequency eventually became higher and higher, until you started planning your sleep schedule (or lack thereof) around your new insomniac tendencies. but even you couldn't manage to stay awake forever.

on a bad night, you'd wake up in tears, crying weakly to yourself as you tried to coax yourself back to bed. on worse nights, you'd shoot up out of bed, limbs tingling in fear, opting to spend the rest of the night in the common room until the others woke for the day. on the worst night, you finally broke. you shattered worse than you could have imagined.

you finally collapsed into bed, body shutting down after a three days of minimal sleep. you were starting to get shaky from the lack of rest, and your lack of appetite was upsetting the others. you crawled under the covers and let your brain slip out of your hands and off to dreamland.

what a fool you were to think you'd get by without nightmares.

visions of demonic teeth tearing at your flesh filled your head. you tried to run away, tried desperately to wake yourself up, but their claws sunk into your flesh. the pain was vivid, was real. memories of your death lived underneath your skin, ready to resurface in the dark of night when there was no escape. you fought back as best you could, kicking and screaming and trying to run, but you were no match for the supernatural strength of your demons. you eventually gave in, an act of learned helplessness, and surrendered yourself to your worst nightmares.

you woke up choking on your own tears. heaving, gasping breaths tried to save you, mixing with coughs as your body struggled to hang on. the tears finally gave way to the memories-- hot blood dripping from your torso, screaming faces begging you to stay, your head going fuzzy as your vision followed--and your screams escaped without a fight.

a mixed cacophony of voices came flooding in the room. you'd be touched by the gesture, seeking comfort in the arms of your dearest friends, if your brain hadn't reminded you that they were demons as well. nightmarish beasts with fangs and claws, predators built to rip your soft flesh from your bones and leave you to die like roadkill.

you felt a hand on your shoulder. who's was it? you could not tell. your first and only instinct was to scream for mercy, hot tears streaming down your face as mammon's hurt expression moved back out of your line of sight. your chest heaved with effort. it felt like your whole body was caving in on itself. you didn't even realize you were shaking as you curled your body into a ball. your side hit the mattress with a pathetic thud and you wept, bitter and fearful, as a panic attack kept you trapped in its grip.

you don't know how long you stayed curled up like that, wordless cries echoing from your room and into the hallway, but eventually the sound of approaching footsteps caught enough of your attention to forget the panic, even if just for a moment.

"hey, it's okay," a familiar, comforting voice approached, cutting through the fear like a moonlight on a stormy night. "mc, it's me, it's simeon. it's going to be okay."

you felt the bed shift under the weight of someone sitting down, and you blindly threw your body at the person before checking to see if it was really him. it took you a few moments to raise your head, and when you did, you saw him: simeon, your angel, blue eyes full of worry as he met your gaze.

you cried in his arms until you fell into a fitful, dreamless sleep.

the next morning was miserable, to say the least. breakfast was tense. they all watched you like a hawk, like you were a powder keg about to explode with one wrong move. you couldn't blame them. you were afraid of your own emotions, and on some level, you were afraid of them. your trauma was making you afraid of the very people you cared about the most. these brothers had welcomed you into their home, took care of you as you adjusted to life in the devildom, and yet you couldn't hold eye contact without breaking in to a cold sweat.

the only person who did not watch you was belphegor. he was nowhere to be found during breakfast, nor dinner, nor breakfast the following day. you tried to seek him out, but somehow the avatar of sloth had become a skilled sneak in his silence.

you finally caught him alone on day four of radio silence. you both had stayed home without realizing the other had also skipped school that day-- you, from the lack of sleep eating at your brain, and belphegor, with his usual routine of missing class to nap at the house of lamentation. he was curled up on the couch in the common room, basking in the warmth of the fireplace in his slumber. you decided to wait for him to wake up. you sat down on the couch opposite of the one where he rested and watched him, quietly, like he'd disappear if you dared to blink.

creepy? yes. but your brain was long ruined by sleep deprivation and gnawing anxiety to worry about such trivial things.

when he finally stirred, you gently called belphegor's name. he took a moment to finally look at the source of the voice, but when he did, his body froze as the two of you made eye contact. a few moments passed in silence. finally, he sat up and began to make a move to leave.

"wait."

he stopped, but his gaze did not meet yours. you rose from your seat and joined him on the couch. the youngest pulled his legs in, twisting his body into a defensive little ball, and countered your next sentence before you could even open your mouth.

"you shouldn't be here with me."

"i think i'm old enough to make decisions for myself."

he shifted uncomfortably in the silence. you spoke again.

"i miss you. and i'm sorry."

he scoffed to himself and stared at the fireplace. "don't know why you think you should be apologizing to me. i'm the one that's the problem."

"you're not a problem, belphie. i never meant to make you feel like one."

every hair on your body stood on end. your hands trembled against your wishes, so you sat on them to stay focused. you had to do this. you had to keep moving forward.

"i hurt you, mc. you're afraid i'm going to do it again."

you sighed-- it came out more shaky than you would have liked-- and looked down. how had it come to this? how had someone you'd grown to hold so dear become a stranger again?

"i don't want to stop being friends. i don't like when you avoid me."

"you still get nightmares, don't you?"

you pause. his icy gaze on the side of your head sent you into a cold sweat.

you smiled-- it felt more like a grimace, personally-- and prayed it didn't come across insincere. your fingers carefully intertwined with his. he met your gaze. you were thankful he couldn't see the way your chest tightened when you made eye contact. 

"i'm okay, belphie," you lied. 

this fear was going to be the death of you. 

[sai-lec]

in defence of the f1 girlie ….

idk man i guess i just don’t like the whole ‘f1 girlie’ thing bc there’s been an uptick in interacts especially on tiktok where it feels so internally misogynistic and also degrading to new fans who don’t have as much experience or knowledge by creating a ‘valid’ f1 female fan experience. like ive seen a major uptick in videos particularly from male fans who think they’re doing us as women a service by saying ‘thanks to the REAL female f1 fans who KNOW what drs is and DONT think the drivers are hot we see u and we’re glad to have u’ . like i understand what you think you’re doing but why do we have to reinforce a threshold for what makes a good f1 watcher. my tradesman grandad who refuses to retire and works joinery at the age of 80 watches the grand prix he cannot explain to me what drs or downforce. the manliest of men don’t know what drs is.

the difference is that we are allowing men the privilege of being casual fans. with women even when we talk about them in a supportive manner we still reinforce the ideas that they HAVE to understand every single detail about car mechanics and production and racing in order to view them as Good fans or Real fans. we don’t give women the grace of causal fandom. we don’t allow women to just engage on a base level with media or entertainment especially in male dominated areas and we continue to reinforce the standards imposed upon us by creating the ‘us vs them’ of fans and belittling or shunning women with a lesser understanding or engagement with the sport.

as for the idea of only liking it because the guys look hot, who cares. who cares. i grew up with my dad watching f1 and yeah i watched SOME races growing up but i didn’t start watching it properly until last year and there’s 2 reasons for that. 1) i watched silverstone with him 2) i saw carlos sainz for the first time and NEEDED to find out who this man was immediately . these guys are all extremely attractive of COURSE ppl are going to look into them bc of how they look and for some people it will click. for some people they will follow him on instagram and maybe check in with a race or two every now and then and some ppl might just follow him on instagram and not care about the races bc that’s just what happens to hot ppl . does it actually matter at all if someone looks at charles leclerc and thinks he’s hot??? no bc they’re literally correct he is an attractive man and people will perceive him as such even if they find out that f1 maybe isn’t exciting for them. the fact that ppl find the drivers attractive is a natural given and it’s pointless to try and control how people engage with them subsequently bc ultimately it’s so trivial and who actually cares that much .

i know people are going to come in with ‘oh well but influencers’ and yes that’s obviously a different story. because likely these people are being paid to promote the event and se are routinely seeing people who are not familiar with the event enough to engage thoroughly with the target demographic being given these positions when there are thousands of f1 content creators who do the same job and deserve to be rewarded for their contributions to f1 spaces. so people like james charles and whatever her name was at monaco only find themselves engaging at the level of ‘hot driver’ because they accepted a position of marketing in a trending sporting event (important in widening their own viewer base to include us now) where they do not have the knowledge to engage with the current fan communities or encourage other people to engage fully with the sport

th f1 girlie on the other hand. the girl that is being torn apart by men and women alike on the effort to prove we’re not like other girls isn’t given the same chance as the man even still . she doesn’t get to engage with people through aesthetic attraction. she isn’t allowed to engage in casual hobbies and interests because she NEEDS to display an adequate knowledge of car production and f1 history i mean at that point we may as well have a female only f1 fan entrance exam

it honestly doesn’t fucking matter whether or not women do or do not know what drs is . it’s the problem that we are being asked to perform to a certain standard of engagement in order to even be respected in f1 fan spaces. i feel like a lot of people are just going ‘well i know what drs is so’ instead of questioning WHY women are expected to undertake research in order to validly watch a televised sporting event . let women know fuck all about understeer and still watch a gp bc she wants to. let women be casual fans again

[anemoiashifts]

the exploitation of mental health within the shifting community.

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚.

im saying this with the intention to not send a wave of hate to anyone but a shitoker with 50,000 followers who confessed (on reddit) to to lying about it shifting for about 2 years & has bragged about making just under $2000 in sponsorships & then goes onto call ppl who shift mentally ill, schizophrenic & delusional. they’ve also they know how easy it is to lie bc ppl are “wanting an escape”. they’ve entertained the idea that “to save their asses” they should — if they do confess to lying — to make it out like she was doing it as a way to get tiktok followers, as if that isn’t preying upon ppls desperation to get out of toxic & harmful situations & wanting of a better life.

taking this for what it is, I want to talk about the exploitation of ppls mental health within the shifting community — mainly shiftok.

it’s not secret 85% or shiftok is mentally ill kids who want to escape this reality out of loneliness or destructive & toxic situations. i take such an issue with this because of this reason specifically (other then the speed of misinformation & drowning out actual ppl who are educated / want to shift). if someone believes shifters are really just “mentally ill 13 year olds” — her words not mine — why not…idk ? try to squeeze in content trying to encourage ppl getting better ? but , no. ppl who lie about shifting can’t do that bc they’re blinded by numbers & profit & not the well being of children who are struggling deeply. if shifting is real & made up & “grown ass ppl who believe in it too, sadly” —again, her words not mine — believe in shifting , why are you knowingly profiting from mental problems ?

this isn’t simply ppl “lying about shifting”. it’s other children & adults build a platform & make profit from the exploitation of peoples desperation for a better life. we need to start looking at it this way.

the only ppl who are worse then anti-shifters are the ppl who knowingly lie for years. they’re the sick ones, not us.

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚.

sorry if this brought the vibes down a tad. ive been looking for an excuse to speak up on this for a while. id like to expand upon this conversation more as there’s so many thoughts i have about it in the future.

to calm your worries , yes shifting is real. no , im not lying about shifting. all we can do is wish the best for these kind of ppl & hope they’re able to stop chronically lying & learn that their actions do have consequences.

again , please do not try & find this person. im not trying to ruin someone’s life as they’re fifteen themselves.

[yenqa]

SHE PLAYS BASS! (teaser)

READ HERE!

synopsis : prince sunghoon had a boring life. never had he ever gone out with his friends or fallen in love like a normal teenager (not like he liked the idea of falling in love). instead, he was forced to prepare for when he would be crowned king. but when your band, le sserafim is invited to play at the royal palace. his perspective on love would change all because of you.

featuring : le sserafim, hyung line of enhypen

warnings : reader uses she/her, swearing, angst, parents w broken relationships, crying, kissing, reader wears makeup for performance, sunghoon is REALLY bad at conversations, bad parents, will update as writing!

wc : teaser is 0.97k but i expect like 5-7k words but idk bc this one seems longer LMFAO

pairing : prince!sunghoon x afab!reader

release date : idk actually… maybe mid/end march?

taglist : open! comment or send an ask !!

a/n : ok long fic num 2 🫶🫶 im not as nervous for this one but we’ll see!

cut glitch :)

NO CELESTIAL WAS ALWAYS YOUR FAVORITE SONG TO PERFORM.

you enjoyed playing the guitar riffs and singing until your lungs went out. you enjoyed the small portion of choreography you had and the energy it brought to the crowd. but as much as you enjoyed the melody itself, you enjoyed the lyrics even more. 

to you, no celestial was about breaking the standards and just being yourself (ex. lyrics “angel-like perfection, bye” in first verse). but the song also meant that you can’t be perfect, and to not be afraid when someone realizes that. no celestial gave you a sense of freedom, like nothing else mattered but the sounds of your voices. and you would do anything to have that freedom.

well, it was the kind of freedom you already had until the attention’s eye was on you. now, you couldn’t even meet up with an old friend before someone turned it into a dating rumor. it was hard to ignore those rumors and continue on, but that was what you had to do to make it far.

and, you weren’t sure if it was worth it until now.. staring in shock as you open the intricate blue envelope decorated with gold lining. on the back, is text stating “The Royal Palace”. Yunjin squeals in excitement as you carefully pull out the paper, reading the contents hidden inside.

Dear, Source Music

It has come to our attention that your band, Le Sserafim has been spiking in popularity in our kingdom. As the Prince’s birthday is coming soon, we would like to formally invite Le Sserafim to perform at the Royal Palace on December 8th to entertain our guests. Please arrive at 3:30 pm or before as you’ll be performing at 4:15. All food and drinks will be provided for you, outfits will also be provided and we’ll have to schedule an appointment to get some measurements. Please tell us what kind of concept to go for, and we’ll do our best to achieve that. We trust that the band will perform well as always. Thank you.

Sincerely,

Sim Jaeyun

you look at your members in disbelief as they do the same before kazuha breaks the silence.

“we’re going to perform at the royal palace!” she excitedly squeals, as the room explodes into excited laughter, deciding what songs will be performed.

“well we have to perform fearless! it’s our hit song,” yunjin begs, trying to get nods of approval from the leader of the group.

chaewon sighs, looking back at yunjin, “we’ll have to see how many songs we can perform and if they want us to perform any particular ones. we can ask our boss at our next meeting. he’ll probably have all the details we need,” she smiles warmly at her members, stretching out her arms and engulfing them in a warm hug.

“wait- when’s our next meeting?”

🎸

no celestial was not on the setlist. nor did your boss even think about performing it.

as the stubborn girl you are, you immediately asked why no celestial wasn’t on the list, and your boss laughs at you. stating that the palace didn’t choose the song and it wasn’t the right place for it. you thought that the song would be able to be performed anywhere (except, maybe a funeral but that’s not the point) but it apparently went against palace rules. it was stupid to you, isn’t that what the song’s telling you not to do? follow the rules?

you were surprised the great mermaid was picked, considering the amount of ‘foul language’ in the song. but since the prince was turning 21 (or 20 you couldn’t remember) you were sure a swear word wouldn’t hurt him.

it wasn’t until late at night when it hit you, you were performing for the prince in a month.

SUNGHOON WAS NOT EXCITED ABOUT HIS BIRTHDAY

all the decorations, outfits, and people were too much for him.

yes, he loved having the party, but having every single person he’s had any interaction with invited? just seemed over the top. he wished only his closest friends to come, but every year his parents would try so hard to marry him off to some random girl his age, which always ruined his mood (and his plan to have a small birthday party). sunghoon knew this year wouldn’t be different, so he didn’t look forward to it, simple as that.

when his parents revealed they were inviting a band to perform on his birthday. his lips had slightly upturned. would it be tomorrow by together? or seventeen? maybe even red velvet? his face immediately dropped when he heard the name. who the hell was le sserafim?

after he was dismissed sunghoon immediately looked up the band that was recently introduced to him, playing the first few songs that popped up.

out of the seven songs he listened to, he liked the song “sour grapes” the most. sunghoon didn’t look much into the lyrics of songs, as a song was just a melody he sang along to. but the rare times sunghoon did (which was when he was listening to sour grapes), he didn’t understand most of the lines. what did they mean by love is sour grapes? because to him, he didn’t think love resembled any kind of fruit.

well, what did love resemble to him? sunghoon didn’t know. after seeing his parents grow apart over the years, sunghoon wasn’t one to ask about the subject. and nor did he ever want to be.

the small number of lyrics he understood, made it even more obvious why love wasn’t that appealing to him. his reason was it would always end in heartbreak, which is why he vowed to himself to never fall in love. but deep down, he knew it was something he could never admit.

he was scared.

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

what happens to nhw after muse? like, publicity wise. especially regarding ashe. idk if you talked about it before or not, i remember seeing things about like. nhw tv appearances and such, but i don't remember if there was anything specifically regarding the pr nightmare of a boy getting mused and going on a murder spree like a localized natural disaster

do they make him go on tv and talk about it? do they rebrand? both? what happens here. i mean it would suck for ashe no matter what probably but yeha

OH NY GOD. I FORGOT I NEVER ANSWERED THIS IM SO SORRY. in my defense i got sick and my brain has been goop since like. sunday. not even going to put this one under a cut everyone gets to see my muse ramblings (muse musings. ha)

ANYWAY. SO. FIRST OFF. nobody knows who he is !!!! to the general public, muse and auxiliary are two different people, and like... there's not really anything there to tie them together. aux's costume was so like bulky full coverage that his identity was Very much hidden, and muse like.... doesn't hide his face at all, but at the same time he's not Ashe because ashe doesn't dress like that or do his hair or makeup like that so. even though his face is on full display I don't think anyone other than his family/friends would make that immediate connection either

obviously like... the prt knows what happened, because of course the wards needed to tell them. publicity-wise, as far as the public is concerned, auxiliary was killed. aux is dead. you remember that one interlude from Vista's pov where she had to look at the greyed out memorial images of the wards who were killed in the leviathan battle? yeah imagine one of those for aux. as far as anyone else knows he died in the fight with overlord (lmao. not like anyone could distinguish identifiable corpses from that mess anyway)

we have played with the idea a few times about a few different topics that there's a subsection of conspiracy theorists on parahumans online that actually connect the dots and get everything right (aux and muse being the same person, Tide and magma being made from the endbringers, etc etc stuff like that that isn't supposed to be public knowledge) but it's extremely funny if they're just a weird fringe group of freaks so nobody ever takes them seriously

the idea that after ashe gets back from being mused and has to go on TV about it makes me so fucking SICK btw that's such a horrid scenario oh my god. I made such a face at that. torture for him!

anyway what actually happens after he gets back from being mused is like.... nothing? really? Trickster takes Mal in exchange for ashe and then they just kind of disappear. and they're left in this horrible paranoid calm period. adn because theyre also gone i think people just assume that either muse went with them or also got killed in that final battle. unsure which option is worse, ashe hearing people talk about muse like hes still out there somewhere (ouch!) or talking about muse like he was killed by his friends (actually now that i type this out i think ashe would prefer this option so much more. man. he has so many issues) it takes ashe a loooong long long time to even consider using his powers again much less entertain the idea of going back to hero work, so it's not really like... an issue? for a bit? we haven't rlly nailed down that period of time yet but I would assume the prt has him under some sort of loose supervision until it's decided that he's not an active threat anymore and he gets to fucking REST for a little bit ! we're intentionally leaving late game nhw a little loose rn because I know I personally just really wanna see how s3 of pd turns out before we nail down anything too solid bc if there's one thing i love about nhw it's referencing back to things happening in canon and making them so much worse ^_^ but I think we've talked about ashe potentially going back to hero stuff eventually under a new name. and nobody can say shit because if a cape has a new name that means they're a different person and nobody can say anything (cough cough looks at armsmaster/defiant) !!!

[saerins]

Girl, you don’t have an idea of how much interesting i found the argument/ angst between Mirin & Sae(? idk only if u want, u think u could give us some “extra” (it can be just a single short post) about them? Like, I think Mirin was A LITTLE right to be mad bc he was practically the love of her life and let’s be honest 😭 it’s heartbreaking that ur first love that promised u everything now is in a arranged married AND ACTUALLY loves his wife😕 idk THEIR ANGST IT’S SO GOOOOODDDDDD😢😭😭😭😭

ok hi nonnie !! lemme preface this by saying i was gonna write a whole part of mirin’s pov but it will just be centred around the same scenes and i don’t think you guys want that haha so here’s some extras for you, some small parallels between sae/mirin and sae/yn :) + my own opinions on them mwahahaha

fun fact: sae fell for mirin first. imagine the rich cold guy awkwardly trying to get closer to her & eventually winning her over because she gets to see all the sides to him that nobody else can.

+ mirin was always cautious with relationships because well, her family’s own personal issues. & sae was always patient with her, always entertaining her little ‘tests’ - think something along the lines of: continuously pushing him away and expecting him to always come back (which is exactly why she acted that way abroad). <- this was obviously very tiring to sae but he always did it, but that was why her dating other people was considered a huge blow to him and honestly made him feel like giving up on her altogether.

would he and mirin have worked out if yn wasn’t in the picture? maybe. a hugeeeeee maybe. pros: if yn wasn’t there, then mirin wouldn’t have acted the way she did and sae would still think the world of her. cons: they had their own issues that weren’t so apparent only because sae is laser-focused on making it work with yn.

would he and mirin work it out IF yn and sae don’t work out? nope. HUGE nope. he finds out she slept with oliver? done deal bye bye <3

also, mirin and sae never made their relationship too public :) they were always sneaking around because mirin wanted it private. aside from their inner circles, to everyone else, the most that they were were rumours.

did sae mean what he said to her back then? absolutely. 100%. it’s the kind of love where he realised “shit what is this fucked up feeling and why am i willingly diving into it?” and she taught him a lot, tbh. a lot of which helped him personally when trying to communicate with yn.

anywho !! i feel that given the context of what happened between sae & mirin - how she insisted on the breakup, dated other people while abroad and both of them naturally drifted (because sae didn’t really have the heart in him to keep trying since it looked like mirin was kinda trying to move on, even if she said in the end after that that she couldn’t forget about him) - for me personally his only fault was not offering her closure when he knew her intentions. that night at the karaoke bar when she was there, he should’ve set things straight (not that it would change much but still 😭).

mirin had a right to be angry - she didn’t get any closure and it’s easy to spiral but she knew he was married. didn’t even bother to ask him why he agreed or nothing and just tried to win him back. in comparison, we have yn who wants to try to understand him, who goes along with what he says because despite now it being sae who’s trying to push her away, she’s still there. despite him knowing she’s a passive person and easily scared, she stands her ground and covers for him even when he’s being an ass. that’s a huge part of the reason why he so easily faltered - fron personal experience he knows it’s not easy.

when sae fell in love with mirin, it felt more of chasing after something seemingly unattainable. it was a new, first love that exposed him to any such feelings. but with yn it was subtle. it was him noticing little things and growing to love them. it was him realising the beauty in trying and understanding yn will be much more of a bigger person than he could ever be. his respect and admiration for his wife grew with each day and that is why ultimately in the end, from sae’s pov, he has to learn to catch up with her in order to be able to give her the kind of love and support she deserves.

[stregoniconiconii]

kinda love the idea of that one post about vickie being like the home/port in the storm.

and like I've seen some fics with steve taking on that role, at like the end of it, and it can be sweet, but i also feel like it's a bit of a tragic ending for steve, like him being left behind in a way, and i think i feel that way bc it's feels like it wouldn't be his choice, that it would be the consequence of him not being able to move on, him being stuck, at least if it's in hawkins. if it's in another city it feels less like that, but still.

but with vickie i feel like it could work in s5, like actually. and we could have robin/stobin going to her for like a break, or food or just comfort, before going back out in the chaos, and then at the end of it all, (with stobin both alive, i refuse to entertain any other notion, sorry, i just can't deal with either of them dying rn lol) coming back to vickie and just like being able to exhale, finally, (would be p delicious if one of them (steve) did d*e and they break down in vickies arms, BUT I'm NOt thinking about that! NO!)

also i have this view in my head of steve's house being destroyed at the end of s5, idk why exactly, i just do, and i think he would be wherever robin is after that.

and then i have a scene of Something happening so like vickie Knows shit is going down, and when it's over she's out looking for robin, and she sees stobin looking all dusty and bloody/banged up, also they're holding hands (we get a shot at some point of their hands clutched together like in s3, but its a close up and also their hands are like dirty lol), but they're like looking in another direction, and vickie like starts running towards them and they look up and see her, like a parallel to the war zone scene almost, except vickie keeps running and we get a running slam into a reunion first* kiss between robin and vickie, and vickie is like holding robin's face, and robin's one hand is like holding vickie and the other is still holding steve's (bc she can't let go yet) so he's just there, awkwardly looking away to give them privacy, but with that silly little pleased happy smile on his face!

*tbh i would love for their first kiss to be somewhere quiet and sweet in the story, but i can't deny the draw of a dramatic declaration "it was almost too late" kiss yk, but i would love if they kissed before the last episode, and had a moment of peace together in the chaos, (a little bit like willow and tara's first kiss in buffy the vampire slayer, but with a little bit more focus on it)

but i also feel like vickie would work as a port in the storm even after it ends, like she cares for robin (and by extension steve) and she's there for nightmares and panic attacks, and flashbacks. and she was there for all of it, but she wasn't involved, and she's their one safe piece of hawkins, and she Knows but also she doesn't, and that gives them both peace, like here's one person we know who we managed to save, we managed to spare the horror. but also she's there afterwards to enjoy the stobin shenanigans <3 and every time either of them do anything wild/insane/silly they go home (where they all live together, or they call her if stobin lives in another apartment together) and tell vickie about it, and when things happen they go "just wait until i tell vickie!"&"i can't wait to tell vickie!" i just feel like stobin would go on adventures (both Adventures, but also like getting lost in a city and other more every day adventures), maybe not on purpose all the time lol, and I think sometimes vickie would be there, but also sometimes she's not and it's just stobin time <3 idk if i'm explaining my thoughts v well, but i hope u get the vibe.

thanks for listening to me ramble<3

Hii yeah i feel like vickie gets shit on a lot for being boring or something like rn we dont know a huge amount about her but she seems like a kind and non-violent person. So i don’t really see her becoming a monster hunter and maybe that will change in s5! But i dont really think so and im honestly fine with that. It’s like not everyone can be a gryffindor or dauntless..to use silly YA “factions” lol so in the same vein im thinking okay she doesn’t need to be a fighter even if that means she won’t have as much screentime

The reunion scene ur imagining is so sweet im in love with it!! I do like it when he’s just there for robin moments lol like he’s looking over his wlw with pride lol and goddd i so want another stobin hand holding scene i feel like we don’t get them being physically affectionate in canon bc the ST directors are like ummm do friends hold hands?? Lol sucks that the only stobin hand holding was when we were getting straightbaited bc i think they love holding hands <3 besides that i am a big fan of stobin maybe not being the biggest into physical affection but always in each others space anyway parallel play stobin real

Also i’ve definitely imagined steve robin and vickie leading the ppl at the volunteer spot to safety and then like steve dramatically sacrificing himself so that the girls can get out…a robin breakdown in vickie’s arms would work so well there <3

Tbh idk how i would like vickie and robin’s first kiss to go…i’ve mentioned them doing an action hero kiss like right before robin is about to jump into some action, vickie plants one on her but that doesn’t necessarily have to be their first kiss…but im pretty sure we’ll only get one robin/vickie kiss in s5 (cowardssss) so idk which i would prefer…a kiss when they’re alone, finally safe, sounds nice. Mostly just want them to kiss a lot lol

I really really like the idea of steve, robin, and vickie becoming a little trio. Like literally steve and his gang of wlw lol i don’t know what steve will wind up doing in s5 (sooo nervous for the potential stoncy storyline like the thought is giving me stress ulcers lol) but i am hoping he’ll survive. I try not to do too much speculation about s5 tbh because it’s fun to think about but i dont want to get too excited bc i just know the duffers will go a different direction and it will inevitably be a direction i think is stupid rip….idk at this point i really just hope my favourite characters dont have to go through too many stupid storylines lol. I feel confident about robin and vickie getting a couple scenes tho - maybe not as much as i want but i trust that at least. Anyway lol yeah stobickie agenda real i think all three of them will get into some fun adventures <333

When i think somewhat realistically i dont see robin and vickie being super long term just bc im not the biggest fan of high school sweethearts staying together forever. Like it is very sweet but i think the chance of you growing in different directions is very likely and im honestly quite attached to my headcanon of stobin being romantic disasters for decades. But i think the show will at most do a flashforward to them in their 20s or a small timeskip. So both can exist lol

It was fun to read ur rambling <3333

[barbreypilled]

⭐ for ikte!!!

hehehehe

anyway I started writing this silly ahh fic in July 2022 after rereading the series and I have a lot of silly headcanons and silly little facts that I cooked up in my crazy brain hehehe also this is going to be annoyingly long so I'm putting it under a read more

-I’ve had the headcanon that the victors were trafficked out of a physical brothel since about 7th grade when I found out what a brothel was, i liked the idea of them all kind of commiserating. In my mind sex trafficking is actually a huge moneymaker in the Capitol even before Ptolemy’s time but he streamlined it in some way and eventually was able to monopolize it (I won’t get into that fully yet bc there’s a pretty big plot point related to that) (I spent way too much time thinking about this lmao), in addition to victors and ‘roadsiders’ as mentioned in the 3rd chapter he also gets his pick of new shipments of Avoxes, which go for way cheaper. (I’m trying to remember what has actually been published yet lmao I’m just omw home from work rn, none of this is like. major spoilers tho like I won’t talk about [REDACTED] or the [REDACTED] 🤪😎 anyway I love writing about evil shitty ppl doing weird evil shit my Baby Book headcanons are very ASOIAF coded

-idk how many chapters there are going to be yet but as of right now probably about 70, I’m contemplating breaking it up by year bc it starts w Annie’s games and ends right at the beginning of CF w a post-MJ epilogue. Im also giving pre-canon POV chapters to a few characters, as of rn I have one for Asenath and one for Ronan aka Ciaran’s dad but I can’t decide who else…. also on that note Asenath’s backstory is fucking bonkers and I can’t get into it rn without just openly spoiling a huge chunk of the second half of the fic but it’s. a lot. it starts to be hinted at in the 7th chapter which will ideally be up soon… >:)

-I have entirely too many opinions about fanon Annie and how I am literally the only person who Gets Her and I won’t get into all of that now but as an Actual Mentally Ill Person™️ I definitely don’t think the Capitol would have just left her alone after she Came Back Wrong like I definitely think the upper echelon would have kind of pretended all that never happened especially bc (at least in my take as we will see soon bc I have actually finished those chapters hehe) she was INCREDIBLY inconvenient as it pertained to mainstream entertainment/network tv but the tabloids and more low-brow media outlets would have had an absolute field day w her and that’s a major plot point in The Piss. Also as someone who has had actual psychotic episodes and has actual OCD and actual autism I’m definitely taking her in a different direction than most ppl do lmao. Also somewhat on that note I know there is a high demand for like. rly saccharine odesta content there is absolutely none of that in the piss lmao. Like they have cute little couple-y scenes but for a good chunk of it they are two deeply traumatized unemployed 18/19year olds w way too much money basically just sniping at each other until one of them overhears someone talking shit about the other and gets their child gladiator sleeper agent murder instinct triggered

-A few scenes I'm rly looking forward to publishing in no particular order without any context are The Seal Scene, Angerona Heavensbee's Wedding, the 72nd games, The Ismene Reveal, The Phoca Reveal and Persephone's introduction hehehehe and half of these are already fully finished >:)

[thedreadvampy]

The museum near my mum's was hosting a Raymond Briggs retrospective and it wasn't until we went today that I realised the absolutely outsize influence Briggs quietly had on my development and sensibilities as an artist. I've never really thought to flag him as one of my Favourite Illustrators but I realised walking around the room that his comics work - reading stuff like Fungus The Bogeyman and Father Christmas as a kid, and When The Wind Blows as a teenager - really formed like the platonic ideal for me of what comics should be and do.

A short list of things I think I've unconsciously learnt from his work without thinking about it:

the amount of character you can wring out of framing and posing

the idea of stylised faces in a highly rendered world

using repetitive panels to create meaning

breaking the edges of panels and frames

energetic lettering

filling up the world your characters inhabit with lots of little details you find entertaining

trying to create worlds and people that feel like Real Things That Exist by drawing on the world around you even if what you're making is a fantasy

borrowing faces and places that fit

it's allowed to be very silly

Anyway it's honestly left me quite emotional looking at his work like this bc I didn't know! I didn't know how much he'd influenced me! and there's something about looking at the artwork with all his notes to self around the margins and relettered phrases and "change this bit"s. there's a spread from fungus the bogeyman where the margins have been repeatedly filled with carefully drawn bubble letters counting down how many thousands of words and hundreds of hours of lettering he still had left to do and I'm just like i see someone is losing his actual mind lettering. relatable.

There was also. one of the last spreads in Ethel and Ernest, and it shows him and his dad coming to the hospital to see his mother's corpse after she died. and everything else on the page is done in his usual repeatedly-photocopied-and-redrawn style and worked through, but the body of his mother is almost just a pencil sketch over loose watercolour. and it's like. looking at that you can really really feel how unbearably hard it was to draw that. and next to that they had the closing spread where Briggs is showing his wife his parents' house after they died, and so right next to this drawing that evidently hurt too much to work on too long, you can see how in-depth and thoughtfully he's drawn the house he grew up in, he's done it brick by brick and every bit of detail worked in like he doesn't want to stop working on it and be done with the house. and idk it left me insanely choked up.

[lilolilyr]

Tagged by @banashee to post 10 of my favorite comfort movies and then tag 10 people, thanks! <3 just had a look at yours again after writing mine, we agree on LotR :D and adsfg I really need to watch Rocky Horror one of these days (I've seen it live before, but never the movie I think?? Oupsie xD fast ne Bildungslücke!)

1. Lord of the Rings (whole trilogy but if I have to choose one then Return of the King)

Comfort movie: battles and darkness and Winning

A++

2. Racing Stripes

(The film's in colour but it looks like this is the only gif I can find when I type in the title lmao)

One of a handful of taped movie me and my sister watched on repeat as a kid. Big nostalgia

3. Chestnut: Hero of Central Park

I can't find a gif for that one at all, but it's another cute kids movie I used to watch A Lot and still sometimes return to for the comfort of nostalgia and safety

4. Monte Carlo

I love all those silly switcharoo films, also the princess switch and its sequels etc, but Monte Carlo was the first one I watched and I still love to watch it for some mindless destress entertainment xD

Ummmm okay what else we got, I can't actually easily think of comfort!movies, I've got a whole bunch of comfort TV shows that come to mind, and movies I love but that aren't exactly /comfort/... *Goes through my Ao3 fandom list* no nothing clicks nothing clicks... Oh!

5. Pitch Perfect

Just the first one tbh, I mean the others are fun too but this one's a comfort film for me!

6. murder, she said

I adore Miss Marple, and this version of Miss Marple specifically! I've watched this one so many times :)

7. The Parent Trap

It's cute. Okay? It's cute xD and I've probably watched this version at least as often as the German one I'll add next, probably bc this one was on TV more often? Idk, I couldn't actually say which one I like more

8. Charlie & Louise

Again no gifs on here, but I adore this film! Also as you can maybe tell I'm actually running out of ideas and the Real comfort would be reading the book version of Das Doppelte Lottchen that both this and the parent trap are loosely based on xD my mom still has an old hardcover version and I've always adored that book, wished I had a twin whenever I read it as a kid!

9. Pride and Prejudice

Alright so th Colin Firth series version is better and the YouTube Lizzie's diaries or what it is is the best anyway but we're doing movies here and the Keira Knightley version Is definitely a comfort film for me so here goes

Ok so there are Definitely pride and prejudice gifs somewhere on tumblr. It just won't show them in the search results for sommme reason. Seems to be because it has the word 'pride' in it, because whenever I type that it switches to the 'create your own gif' error image. @staff what's up with that? Latent homophobia again?

10. Kyss Mig

First wlw film I ever watched, I still remember watching it (on mute, with English subtitles, there's no German or English dub anyway) in my parents' living room when I was 12 or so, with the computer display turned away from everyone else, actually pretending to be on tumblr (the rule was we had to be at least in the same room for evening family time even if I was uninterested in whatever movie or sports the others were watching but I was allowed to be on tumblr) and trying not to show any reaction to the screen bc at the time I had no idea what my parents' stance regarding LGBT ppl was (parents, tell your kids when you're okay with them being gay, bc they might be and they won't just Know that you're okay with that!), and idk I've had friends tell me it's not their fav film and maybe it's mainly the nostalgia for me but I still absolutely adore this movie and have rewatched it many times

Tagging my mutuals, friends and collaborators <3 @toboldlynerd @lavendelhummel @squishmittenficfan @purlturtle @mimi-mindless @asstraightasau-turn @katieswain123 @verajasmijnart @artax-risen @bookgirlfan only if you want to do it of course! :) & pls lmk if you'd rather I didn't tag you in the future!

Edit: looking at old posts in my 'movie tag' and 'comfort movies' tags now like omg! Of course! Mr&Mrs Smith, Lara Croft, Mean Girls, Carol..... Also I only just thought of Miss Congeniality! Adsfghjkl I really have 0 memory sometimes!

[wanderrlust0]

1/2

honestlyyy my bf is lucky to have me!! bc ive seen and heard things that i feel like another girl would probably not give him more chances or go off on him out of frustration. even his sister told me she’d do things differently. idk im not trying to shit on him at all bc hes a really good person and i love him very much and want to be with him for the rest of my life. i just know that if it was the other way around with all the things we both have done, he would notttt trust me and he already has trust issues. i mean im not perfect either..yes i have done some small things before, but it was without any personal feelings and any intimate physical touch. now, there is a lot of context and things for part of what he did and the situation we were stuck in so like its not as bad as it sounds.. but STILL lol im just thinking. like i know if one of us had to break up with each other it would def be him breaking up with me. i just know. theres already been times where he would sound like he would and he’d make all these confrontations feel so serious. also, hes still a man. yes hes he/they, masc presenting, but he still thinks like men. im not trying to offend anyone pls if literally anyone reads this far so ill explain what i mean. he did not have good luck with girls in hs and so he worked on himself to look better and then got the attention from girls he craved back then. got some experience, got a gf, got cheated on, got dating apps again but stayed fwb with his ex until calling it off when we started dating. i know he can move quickly with things and act on his high sexual drive. if anyone whos considered attractive gives him attention, he could entertain the idea or like he starts to compare me and itll make me feel like im not enough and dont match his lifestyle. i feel like its easier for him than me to start seeing people in a sexual way and want to get in their pants. idk if it could be like the female attention since he doesnt always feel good about himself and now that a pretty girl shows interest its like it gets to his ego. again, i sound like im shitting on him but im not, im just thinking i can type it all out and leave it here bc ive never talked about this or wrote about it. i found out today that he did stuff with his friend ~3 yrs ago while me & him were on a break and me and her are like friendly acquaintances and we went to her baby shower, gender reveal party, & he went to her wedding, all after they did it. he really only told me now bc her husband i guess just found out somehow and msgd my bf about it and said he’ll go msg me about it. he didnt want me to find out first thru someone else, which i appreciate that he was able to tell me first, but its also like okay damn they really did that. and yes it was years ago so i honestly didnt feel hurt about it i was just more shocked. like.. he was on a break with me and felt single and he says shes cheated before so it just happened with them and they didnt do it again. funny thing is that her husband was already suspicious of him years ago and thinking he was only friends with her to do stuff and now shit, he was partially right. honestly, thats a dumb mistake on her end, like she was engaged or almost engaged at the time. also, for the record, he hooked up with (for what i know now) 2 other people during that time period, so 3 within our 1 month break. one didnt involve any feelings i presume and the other one had a shit ton bc they went on actual dates and shit and she ended it bc they both or just she didnt wanna settle. she was 3 yrs younger than him and yes.. i did stalk her a bit bc i needed to know, why her, who she is, etc. and i could already tell she got around..but whatever, i already coped from that lol. back to his friend, he knows she was with someone & he knows her man already didnt like him. even tho she didnt care, he still went along with it bc hes been wanting to do that since the day they became friends. it all makes sense. he met her in school when he was still with his ex so i dont have anything to say about that part but like, again…

[steelycunt]

ridi i'm LOVING all these unpopular opinions!! music haterism is always justified imo and soo entertaining also love that i agree with you 100% on basically everything 😌 some of these things just had to be said…

i thought i didn’t have anything to add because ts, hs etc have all been spoken about and i don’t listen to modern music enough to have strong opinions on any others but then i remembered my BIGGEST parasocial enemy (who i never talk about bc i don’t really have that good a reason to find her annoying i just do) is beabadoobea…

apologies in advance but she sort of represents everything wrong with the music industry rn to me so maybe a rant is justified here? anyway taking this opportunity to say i think she’s so overrated and not in a unique way, like it isn’t new for people to get careers from how they look but in her case specifically it annoys me sm because of what her fans are like and also it’s close to home…as in my cousin is one of her best friends from school so i knew of her when she started releasing music on band camp and had to watch her make a music career off being pretty on instagram with the four chords my cousin taught her on guitar and a voice that’s just…fine, and whatever everyone has to start somewhere except she got a record deal when her sound was completely underdeveloped before she’d had time to learn anything about music or her own artistry and like fuck around experimenting for a while.

which is so common these days i think w people blowing up on social media and getting handed careers i.e riding on the people who can actually play their instruments and getting loads of money thrown at them to make really bland four chord nothing songs... like in the first few years of her career she made so much music and it was all so boring and sounded exactly the same, even now it might be unfair but i do just assume any vaguely interesting part of her output is someone else’s work like sorry she’s never had to come up with her own fully fledged ideas or concepts and she’s been working with the pressure of commercial viability the whole time, any potential she might have had i just think was squandered by having everything come too fast and too easily or maybe i'm being generous and her authentic sound is just boring idk because it still doesn't seem like she has anything to say…all this wouldn’t be as bad if her fans weren’t sooo insanely annoying about her + as a person i have no real reason to but i just do not like her :| my cousin is still good friends with her as well so i have to pretend i know nothing but the picture of her i’ve built from things my cousin’s said…just aggravating, alsoo she’d played at my work once when my friend was on shift and her ex bf that looks a tiny bit like george harrison was sitting at the bar the whole time drinking water and not talking to anyone while she was doing coke in the bathroom and he looked so pathetic my friend started talking to him to cheer him up in between serving him his next cup of tap water…

HELLO MY DARLING!! oh my god i didnt realise she needed to come up until you said it...bebadoobedobee...beadbeadooebadoo..clapping n cheering for your rant because youre fucking RIGHT i have a few friends who like her and have tried to get me to listen to her and she was just. appalling truly and as you say not even just in a ah shes trying shes young she'll get better kind of way but in a this is genuinely unbelievably soulless and bland and boring and says so little that even she seems disinterested with it. the inside scoop on her from your cousin is delicious also gbfskjfskd her poor sad george harrison boyfriend..

i think youre so right and i dont mean that new artists shouldnt be given a break or an opportunity or anything but like you say, when theyre being harvested on social media, where a lot of the time look is everything (as i believe it is for bebadoobebdoo, her look her 'aesthetic' pinterest-board fashion sense does play a part i really think it does because there is no way her music is strong enough on its own to be successful) and where they may not necessarily be super experienced or practiced yet (which again, i appreciate, theyre new), a lot of money goes into getting songs out of them which are inevitably boring unimaginative four-chord songs that do not have enough substance to make anyone feel anything. including the people singing them. i cant imagine that beabadoobee demonstrated enough genuine musical promise to be given a record deal so i have to believe its either her image or the idea that well if we give her tons of expensive resources maybe then she'll end up putting out something good.

there have to be new artists out there who are more talented and interesting and would do more with the sort of record deal thrown at beabadoobebee than beabadoobdbbee did...surely...i really did try to like her because my friends raved about her so much so i listened to a fair bit from her and her music was just so staggeringly nothing. i think you make a good point about how the fact that she got a record deal so early on probably has sort of stifled the music she makes/her ability to experiment with it but im not sure im as kind as you because i do fear she is just not very talented perhaps. sorry giggling at her sad george harrison tapwater drinking boyfriend again poor lad..