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castle-dominion · 2 years ago

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castle 6x15 smells like teen spirit

the telekinesis episode liveblog

Wow sometimes I hate teenaged girls. Telling a cab driver how to drive? Wow language. Of course she plays lacrosse. Actually I was thinking ringette not lacrosse.

WAIT I JUST REALIZED, SHE SAID HEY BITCH SINGULAR {spoilers, she pranked the ONE girl FIRST}

Going to be murder on-screen? Holy crap! Dun dun dun she dead

so obviously... fake but yk

*lenny face* Weddings <3 KB: I want Old Blue Eyes himself. New songs for the playlist: witchcraft by frank sinatra & dancing in the dark by bruce springsteen.

RC & KB (simultaneously): Do we not have a song? (love their samebrain) RC: We must have a song. KB’S phone rings. KB: And it looks like they’re playing it now. XD, btw do you remember when castle's ringtone for her was that death sound? (she answers) Beckett. (pause, then whispered to RC) Murder at Sutton Place. They both get out of bed. Because sadly they are on call this late at night. Well she’s on call he’s just there.

What does senior mean for non-americans? (At least we're not french school tho.) Lol Castle uwu lanie tucking her hair behind her ear with the pen (wow ryan looks v early seasons rn. I like it. Oh it must be the short hair & dark clothes

BLOOD ON THE RAFTER? {how did it get there for real?}

Lol made the hulk angry. As if that's a viable Castle theory. Tho I miss the Castle theories where he was right & smart.

I was wondering where Esposito was. aw, coffee. Nice tie on esposito. But what's with his hair. I like the hair but I don't like it

She's a teen. Stuff like this happens.

My man doesn't look like a teen. U kidding me Castle? rich teens like that?

KB: So this is where you graduated, huh? RC: Well, I would have if it wasn’t for the fact that one night my buddies and I sneaked in and pushed a cow up twelve flights of stairs and onto the roof. (Ah yes. Grad pranks. My dad & his friends put underwear on a giant statue in their hometown. They were velcro too so it was a harmless prank, unlike permanent grafiti. But 12 flights is a lot. My high school was one of the tallest in our town bc it had 4 floors I think...) KB: A cow? Really? RC: Yep. KB: So what happened? Did you guys get expelled? RC: No. Just me. I wasn’t connected like my buddies were. I was the scholarship kid, so I got the boot. KB: (smirks) Well I think you turned out all right. RC: Me too. Me too I love him

How did u know she was going out all hours of the night? u weren't sleeping together (& I mean actually literally sleeping too, where u would notice if your partner left the bed)

They just ran from the cab? very teen girl of them. I LOVE esposito's jacket.

KB: Where are they now? KR: Same place you are. Ok so new characters: Kris Howard, Hillary Cooper. Madison is the one who died. She has HEELS

That's a cello not a bass, the neck is like the violin family & the bass is not of the violin family

wait the PRINCUIPAL said youe not supposed to talk about it!!É oh french keyboard whoops

RC: I’d offer a theory but I’m too busy having detention flashbacks. KB: You must have spent a lot of time in this hallway. RC: More than I did in class. (What a mood. Castle adhd headcanon points. Actually for me it was a lot of speech therapy.) KB: I bet that principal hated you. RC: I’m wondering if hate is a strong enough word. Principal Dunan had to hire a crane to get that cow off the roof. But I’m sure that old battleax is long since retired. (he laughs) Put out to pasture, so to speak. PD: Was that a bovine reference, Mr. Rodgers? RC: startles and stands up. RC: Principal Dunan, you’re … uh … still here. (he is SOOO under the authority of this man even tho he's a rich adult now & taller than him. tho in HS he was also probs taller.) PD: And sadly, you have returned. RC: is chastised. PD: gestures for them to enter his office. KB: walks around RC: , trying to hold back her amusement. RC: follows behind like he’s going to his funeral. INT – PRINCIPAL DUNAN’S OFFICE PD: I see you have managed to extricate yourself from a life of delinquency, Mr. Rodgers, and become a writer. RC: shuts the door behind them. He tries to respond, but he’s cut off when PD: continues. PD: - of sorts. RC: Well, actually, it’s Mr. Castle now. (castle trans moments) PD: You’ll always be Rodgers to me.

lmao faircroft family?

RC: (whispered) I’m surprised he can use a computer. PD: I’m old, not deaf, Mr. Rodgers. And undaunted by technology. kb walks around the desk to look at the computer. rc waits, silently asking permission before pd gestures for him to come look.

Hot or not? smash or pass? markiplier plays smash or pass with every dingle pokemon? Best character: Jordan Gibbs. (she's DEF hot bro! Look at her!) I recognized her as played by Hannah Marks, who plays Amanda Brotzman in dirk gently's holistic detective agency. Both of em are supposed to be normal. r/ why were they filming Edit: because the one filming was PLAYING hot or not on video, they were PART of the game & recording it, focusing the cam on each girl they played hot ot not with. & the boys don't continue with their game or like,, laugh when she drops her tray? I knew a guy like that in 3rd grade. Broke our smartboard.

RC: The outcast. The mean girls. (love it love it love it.) The rage that erupts in a telekinetic attack. This is a real life Carrie. My mother got carrie from the library. She is also reading christine bc of an ad for car insurance in our town.

KB: Now, has anything like this happened before? PD: No RC: Um … yes. At the crime scene. Me: technically that was after

Ah yes Castle plays poker with him.

Oh! I was wondering where his nice tie went but it's the next day that's why he has the nice jacket Auntie Payban: Detective? (he turns back) I know what this looks like, but Jordan is a really good kid. She got a scholarship herself to that fancy school. Castle parallel Payban: I mean, she just – she wouldn’t throw that away, you know? She just wouldn’t do this. Cut to:

HC: Yeah, it was totally Jordan. KH: No doubt. KB: You never actually saw her. KH: Well, we didn’t see anyone. It was if some invisible force threw Madison around the room like a ragdoll. (Who has the bag that good?) HC: The same way Jordan attacked us in the cafeteria. KH: Yeah. RC: After you knocked into her as she carried a tray of food. KH: Look, we know it was wrong of us to mess with her, but – HC: I mean, she’s odd, you know? She’s into weird stuff. Like that autistic jewish lesbian witch in the webcomic I'm reading

Ryan Castle Jr Moments Holy moley pic with no eyes...

You're poor & give your kid an allowance? My mom had a job & my dad did carpentry work & we didn't get an allowance until my brothers & I were like idk 15 13 & 11 maybe (just a guess) & even then, it was paid chores not a plain allowance. Actually I remember it was 7th grade at the earliest, possibly later, so I would have likely been 12 to 13. Or later bc that's when I was like "I don't get an allowance" & all my classmates were saying "I don''t get an allowance but my parents pay for my phone plan" or "I get an allowance but I need to pay for my phone plan myself"

Lucas Troy my beloved RC: Ah… Starry Knight, the winter ball. Did I tell you Principal dunan expelled me just before prom? (oh bc they're the knights, like the crusaders or marauders whose mascot was a dunk scottish guy,, for high schoolers.) Why is he holding it in front of his face instead of wearing the mask? KB: Castle, no! You didn’t get to go to your own prom? RC: And my date would have been Audra Dobson. So unbelievably hot. KB: Well, if it’s any consolation I missed my prom as well. RC: Really? Why? My first thought was: her mom’s murder.

Lucas: It’s amazing. Even after she’s dead everything’s still all about her. Tbh you can be a little bitter abt that even though she's dead

Love his voice, really sells that he's a teen.

Lucas: Yeah, but there’s no way Jordan would retaliate. The girl wouldn’t raise her hand at anyone. RC: She wouldn’t have to. Not with flying chairs in her arsenal.

You just left school for a bit & came back after you lost her?

Tori <3 the data ARE gone technically

Did they get a warrant for her phone?

RC: Just because no one knows who Jordan’s friends are doesn’t mean she doesn’t have any.

Transcript calls him Nerdy Guy. The crowd breaks and reveals that the man isn’t standing on a table. He’s levitating, floating in midair. (love the punk nonbinary girl) BWA BWA BWAAAAAAA

Becket a sec ago: wowie Becket now: Ya I saw that trick in vegas

Rampinel: I teach biophysics at MIT. I rent this space from Henderson to conduct my research in telekinesis. My friend/tattoo artist is a teacher at my school, which my little bro wants to attend but f/ta/i said he could probably go to MIT. Dad said, "Manitoba institute of tehcnology? That's pretty good, much better than the colleges we have in our part of canada." f/ta/i said, "No I meant michigan institute of tech. Your son is smart enough to get in." My baby bro is going to become a physicist! I'm over here just learning a crappy trade job.

How did she find out that henderson diagnostics was a telekinesis place when esposito couldn't?

Hats off to rampinel for harbouring Jordan. (her clothing makes her look short too but she isn't a tall person so she's great for a high schooler. I saw hannah marks in dghda where she was often beside elijah wood who is also not tall so she looked normal to me but in castle she looks so tiny, one of the reasons I didn't recognize her. That & she was maybe like 5-10 years younger

KR: She even kind of looks like Carrie. JE: No, she does not. Besides, how would that little skinny girl throw Madison up against the ceiling? KB rolls her eyes. RC: With powers we have yet to comprehend. (to KB) Be careful in there. Don’t anger her. We don’t know what she’s capable of. KB nods. KB: You’re right. You should probably go in there with me. For protection. She leaves.

Nemesis is such a word Russian lit my beloved. just like heavy tf2 Maybe she doesn't want anyone to know she actually studies! I love how this teen talks & presents herself, acting v good to make this a teen. Adult enough, but still less experience & not fully mature.

I believe it's a nervous habit & not an attempt to frighten them. She legit thinks she killed someone I LVOVE HER SM

JE, who grew up poor: What kind of high school kid has financials? Me: Well if you're 16 then you gan get your driver's & often that's when you start driving yourself to work & getting a job... I also grew up poor but for the collective bday of my bros & me we all got bank accounts. Which was odd bc there is a 4y gap between the oldest & youngest. Now, we didn't really use them except for relatives writing us cheques on xmas, but technically we had financials. However, nothing nearly as great as madison's. Ryan comes in with three STACKS of paper.

Bars/clubs? she's a minor. Wait fake IDs exist.

When does she sleep?

She speaks russian! Holy crap! A bank account does not have actual cash in it, silly billy.

$2.3m holy crap Sus. Did he rob die hard & then maddie stole his stuff or like??? He won't have killed his own daughter. probably.

Hm they are eating at the breakfast bar not the dining table

KB: (reading) The Billboard’s Top 100 Most Romantic Songs of All Time. RC: I figure our song has to be on that list somewhere. KB: No, Castle. I’m not choosing our song off of a list that includes – (she scans) Def Leppard’s “Pour Some Sugar On Me”. She tosses the list aside.

KB: Yeah, except rebel Becks was a little too cool to go to a silly dance, so we went to a poetry slam in the East Village instead. It’s one of those seminal moments that I kinda wish I hadn’t skipped out on. She rebelled by going to a poetry slam? Nerdy goth. Probably took her motorbike.

love esposiro's red on red outfit So she... robs her rich friends? "to f/n l/n, who has a kid in faircroft"

Also like how they call it tolstoy instead of war & peace or the russian title. My question tho, how did she hollow out the book? I've tried, it ain't easy.

Love his Hey Hey KR: No. But she might have robbed the guy who robbed the bank.

Teenaged girl stealing things? Who would have thought.

Mum knew a guy who went by shawn bc his name was xian

I love this real estate fellow she's great. KR: A ghost. ??? Hey bro chinese ghosts are fricking scary.

Ryan Castle jr moments Love how we get to just focus on ryan's face while caskett are arguing. Also he is SHORT next to tall castle & tall beckett in heels.

JE: They also examined the patio where Chen’s furniture earned its frequent flyer miles. CERULEAN BLUE LIKE THE KID'S LUNGS? NOOOO NOT LUCAS

wait lucas said he wasn't there. Why'd he lie?

she's bringing a gun? & cocking it? going to see a kid? reminds me of that scene with violin girl (boy) in the umbrella academy. viktor hargreeves but when they were still vanya. making stuff fly around & then boom james peen or whatever his name was.

LUCAS: You wouldn’t understand. Most people don’t. That’s why I’ve learned to hide what I am. RC: Telekinetic. LUCAS: (scoffs) What? No. Smart. You know, people don’t like it when you’re smart and you do things people don’t understand. I mean, all that stuff that you saw? I rigged. RC: Rigged? But you – chairs moved. The tables – LUCAS: Right. Special effects are kind of my hobby. (Love special effects) It’s pretty amazing what you can do with some fishing wire and magnets. And people are pretty gullible. RC’S face falls. KB tries to not show her amusement, but she gives RC a knowing look. So did he fake a telekinetic event for his friend w/o telling her, making her think she had powers? & he told her NOW tho?

JG: I've never had anyone do that for me before. [KR puts his hand on JE'S shoulder.]

Lucas: And you – you know what they would do to a scholarship kid who terrorized a room full of students? Castle:

THEY HAVE A RECORDING OF THE FACETIME CALL

Well you edited the last part out AND the first part out. You usually need to trim both ends of a clip like that.

That kid is NOT a high school student. Then again I have seen kids somewhat like that...

I had a dream about having a weird locker i could go inside. but setting up a false bottom would be kind of... impossible

lmao stealing from the fiarcroft community is barely stealing babe

two out of three girls had lawyer dads. Smart of her not to say a word.

Reading the transcript I thought Kris was innocent & Hillary knew. Seeing the show, I see body language

Hillary: She is captain of the cheer squad. She knows her way to the top of the pyramid. Yeah that kind of work requires a lot of muscle. But srs? already betraying your friend like this? At least she's getting arrested in her prom queen stuff.

PD: Mmm. Just one thing I need to know, Mr. – Castle. It’s haunted me for years. Where did you get the cow? RC: (hesitates) Put it this way, sir, if you ever need one, I know a guy. EVEN BACK THEN CASTLE KNEW A GUY

his hands are... very thick, making his fingers look stubby. smallest toes I've seen on a guy that tall.

Andrew Belle’s “In My Veins” & I love how these adults are just crashing a prom. My parents wanted to crash weddings & pretend to be hired dancers.

(lowkey goth, love the way she looks.) These kids aren't dancing so well, no kid is. Well ig it's a different style of dancing. I do fiddle dancing-- heck we had a 40 minute virginia reel the other day. We also do schottisches, circle dances, polkas, etc, but our two-steps & waltzes are not like foxtrots & ballroom waltzes. I took some ballroom classes in school & some hip-hop & "just dance" which I never really liked, but we also took salsa. I really want to learn salsa again. & ofc my parents were big into swing. I miss swing dancing, I need to take a class. My olf TA could to salsa & tango. She was great. croatian-canadian living in argentina for summer lol.

KB: Oh, that reminds me. I had unis sweeps Lucas’s house. You know what they didn’t find? Wires, magnets, anything that would explain that stuff that we saw flying around. Jordan & Lucas are kissing <3 <3 <3 I always love it when these episodes, time travellers, psychics, telekinetics... I love it when these episodes end with some sort of "ooh scary, what if it's real" moment

#castle 6x15 #castle 6x15 spoilers #castle 6x15 quote #the telekinesis episode #(I might think of it as the amanda/hannah marks/jordan gibbs episode tho lol)

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creatureofmystry · 4 years ago

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MLB x DC Universe Headcannons

I just love the idea of MLB and DC (expecially Batfam cuz Mari is such a Wayne) being in the same universe and crossing over. So one night, I just had an idea overload of different ways the Marinette would know the batfam/be a part of the DC universe. And if any of my shitty ideas somehow inspire or prompt you, then please be my guest. 😊 _

1) “Ladybugs of Past and Present”

Hippolyta, Wonder Woman’s mother, was once a previous holder of the ladybug miraculous. When Fu activated the miraculous and put them in circulation, Hippolyta could feel its magic waking back up. Knowing there must a reason for it to be out, she sent a message to her daughter. Diana searched, finding Marinette and Adrien as the present holders of the ladybug and cat miraculous. She vouched and brought them into the Young Justice program while they also made their own team, Project: Zodiac (or something like that).

[Sometime when Diana takes Marinette to meet Hippolyta]

“Great Hera, Tikki, you have not aged a day” -Hippolyta, cause she does know how to make joke.

“And I would say the same to you” -Tikki

“Mother, you can make a laugh?” -Wonder Woman, honestly a bit confused cause her mom have never not been serious before.

And Marinette is just speechless cause she’s starstruck meeting Wonder Woman’s mom AND a previous Ladybug holder.

2) “Rockstar Niece”

Jagged Stone is Marinette’s Sweet Uncle J. During the summers, Jagged Stone would take Mari with him on tour. HIs summer tours are throughout America, so Mari gets to sightsee the country. Jagged’s first tour that he gets to take Mari on (5-ish), he’s also booked for the annual (for whatever reason) Wayne Summer Gala. When Marinette meets the Waynes, they are so enamoured (Dick and Tim couldn’t help it) that they tell Jagged he’s always invited as a guest, Mari of course being added to the permanent guest list too. About 6 years later, Mari is practically adopted, spending the first half of her summers with Jagged, going to the Wayne Gala, then spending the rest of her summer with the Waynes. Overtime, she figured out the secrets of the family and was there to welcome Jason back from the dead (when that happens). Anyways, now 11(-ish?) Mari meets Damian and the two become good friends… after an… impressionable first meeting.

“Tch, let me guess, you’re another one of father’s adopted strays” -Dami

“YOU MUST BE DAMIAN!!! DICK TOLD ME ABOUT YOU!!” -Marinette, who just ignores what he said for a hug.

“hiiiiiiiiissssssss” -Dami, touchy with touch

“...” sprays water in his face since he decided to act like a cat.

“I say, Master Bruce, the children are getting along quite well” -Alfred

3) “Pen Pals”

Jon Kent and Marinette Dupain-Cheng are part of an international pen-pal program, starting when they were very young (maybe like 4 or 5-ish, super super young) where they told each other everything (Jon can’t just say that his older bro is a clone made from Superman and Lex Luthor’s DNA, or that his dad is Superman, or that his best friend is Robin, but yea. Lois and Clark probably proofread his stuff until he’s like 9) with pictures and everything. When they’re old enough to get phones & stuff, they call, text and vid-chat along with their letters (love without blood). When Mari is maybe 9-11 (somewhere around there) she starts flying over during the summers to hangout with Jon (and his friends and big brother). While there, she meets Kon, Bat fam, and Clark (some who she already knew, some who she didn’t) & lightly hints that she knows who all they are once she figures it out (it didn’t take her long to do so).

Now whenever she visits and is at Wayne Manor (Jon likes to have sleepovers practically every weekend) while they’re on patrol, Mari subtly messes with their minds (super subtle, they’re the world’s best detectives after all) until they finally look through the cams and see Mari giving them one of those smiles (those shit-grinning cause it’s just so hilarious how it’s gone on for so long) & and a playful wink.

[5 seconds later]

“Mari!” “Pixie-pop!” “Angel!” “Teacup!”

“Seriously, am I the only one with a normal nickname for her?” -Tim

“Ms. Marinette would like to inform you that ‘it took you long enough’” -Alfred (who so knows that the girl has been playing them since the third night she stayed at the Wayne’s)

“Where are my adoption papers?” -Bruce (who is seriously adopting any talented black-haired child)

4) “Mari and Mar’i”

When Mar’i is young, Dick and Kori take her with them to see Paris (btw, this would be during the winter). They’re strolling along through a park and lose track of Mar’i who finds Marinette (9-10 ish). Marinette comforts and distracts Mar’i while noticing the young(er) girl is Tameranian (her hair is very warm and she’s wearing significantly less layers than should be worn for a human of that age during the winter, plus that sun-kissed skin tone. She’s seen Kori in her fashion magazines (and, from time to time, on the news as an ambassador) so she easily make the connections). Dick and Kori finally spot Mar’i with Mari who introduces herself to them. Mar’i asks if she can see her “Auntinette” again and Marinette just goes “if your parents are okay with it.” Dick and Kori are totally cool with it (not many are willing to watch her and have the time to do it) so they ask Marinette if she can babysit Mar’i whenever (with good pay of course) if she’s up to it (cause she’s still pretty young). Marinette can’t say no to Mar’i’s babydoll eyes (and she’s so much easier compared to Manon, who’s only 2 rn), so of course, she says yes.

Now Marinette is Mar’is official babysitter and sees Mar’i often whenever her parents drop her off (using zeta tubes to quickly get to Paris and back). Marinette gets treated like an honorary Wayne (cause she’s the most responsible) and gets invited to their family stuff (w/ travel pay taken care of, of course). It doesn’t take her long to realize the fact that she babysits Bruce Wayne’s & BATMAN’S granddaughter, but of course, being the responsible one she is, keeps the secret… while also playing with them via Mar’i.

[One Day]

After Marinette leaves for her plane…

“Uncle Dami!”

“Yes, Spawn?”

“Auntinette said to tell you after she left that Robin’s sut needs a major upgrade & that you look like a traffic light… whatever that’s supposed to mean.”

[Another Day]

“Uncle Jay!”

“What’s up kid?’

“Auntinette said that to let you know that Red Hood doesn’t make any sense ‘cause Red Hood wears a helmet. Not a hood.”

[The next time]

“Uncle Tim!”

Yawn. “yea?”

“Auntie told me to give you this” (pulls out super caffeinated coffee) “and that Red Robin’s cowl is a menace to all things fashion”

[Again…]

“Daddy!”

“Yes, Starshine?”

“Auntienette said she’s proud of Nightwing’s costume ‘cause it’s one of the only in the batfam that isn’t an astro-city to the fashion society.”

5) “Marinette, the one who’s always getting chosen”

Before Mari became (becomes(?)) LB, she comes across a different powerful piece of jewelry, from a different order of guardians where her will of mind is not only her shield from being akumatized, but it is also what drives her powers. That’s right, Mari walks past a flea market and activates a GL ring. The guardians pick up on this activity and send Hal (it is his sector) to check it out. Hal finds the ring with Mari but it still needs the light of a GL to charge and fully work.

[During the explanation]

“Look, kid-”

“Marinette.”

“Look, kid, I just need to know why you have that ring.”

“You think I know? I was just walking through the market and all of a sudden, this possessed ring, if that’s even what this is, started following me, then zipped in front of my face til i held my hand up so it can put itself on my finger.”

“Kid-”

“It’s MARINETTE. Get it wrong one more time and you’ll see why I don’t need a possessed piece of alien jewelry.” -Marinette, making sure you get her name right. “Besides, if I stole it, I would remember. I’m a klepto” -Marinette, probably holding his ring too at this point.

Hal obviously doesn’t want the wrath of the Dupain-Chengs (just the kid Marinette scares him enough), so he tells the guardians that JL will take care of most of Mari’s training (once they get her a lamp for her ring, of course) & has her take part in training at Mt. Justice with the Young Justice team and special training with the Bats. Mari does all this under the guise of an international student exchange program for Mari to stay with the Waynes (not yet knowing that it’s the bat fam) and attends G.A. Mari doesn’t do much, but it takes her 24-36 hours to know who EVERYONE is.

[the next week after settling in]

“Hey, Mars,” -Dick, in his Nightwing gear

“Hey, Di-is the GREATEST SHOW!” -Mari, changing the subject(… not really)

“How long did it take you?”

“Not as long as the Kryptonians…” -Mari, going off into a tangent (still trying to change the subject”

[When Marinette meets Tikki]

Back in Paris:

“Sooo… I’m getting powerful jewelry that gives me powers and a suit, needs to be recharged, and comes from some Order of the Guardians? What’s the difference between you and my ring?” -Marinette, who at this point is very confused as to why she keeps getting picked on for this kind of stuff.

“One’s alien, one’s magic” -Tikki, hoping Mari will end it there & lowkey hates that the GL Corp. got to her first.

“They’re both non-human made energy sources” -Mari, cause once you’ve seen it once, you’ve seen it all before.

“You can’t heal the Akuma without the miraculous, and there are more than just rings. Yours are earrings, there are hair clips, bracelets, necklaces and more” -Tikki, after having a minute to think

“Fine, only because you said they’re the only way to heal the, what was it again, akuma?”

6) “Their Unofficial Official Barista”

Part of Tim’s job as Co-CEO, is to make sure all the branches are running smoothly, sometimes that means he has to fly abroad to manually check in. Tim goes to Paris to check on the W.E. Paris branch. He goes to a nearby Patisserie (Tom and Sabine’s) to see a young Marinette (somewhere from 8-11) drawing in her sketchbook at the counter. She explains that her parents are at a catering event, but she’s there to man the little bakery. Tim asks for a super caffeinated coffee and Marinette makes it with ease, claiming it was on the house with how bad he looks (and how much sleep the man clearly needs). Tim begs for her knowledge and asks if she can teach his butler. Mari’s willing to show him the next time he comes, so he gets the whole fam to go (viz tubes so they don’t waste time) maybe a week later. Everyone gets their own drink (plus a free pastries) and Marinette teaches Alfred her coffee, but it’s just not the same so Tim, using the tubes, goes to get coffee from the girl whenever he can.

Mari is horrible at getting up on time (the life of an insomniac, never getting to sleep even if you want and then barely waking up on time) that she is up super early, makes Tim his coffee (plus a croissant) and tries to go back to sleep (making her inevitably late). Tim would walk up to the pick-up counter where his cup and to-go bag is while Marinette runs out of the house to get to school. Eventually, the rest of the Batfam (as well as the Laegue, TT, and YJ) frequent the place, slowly becoming (Dami too) Mari hides it, but she knew all the batfam the first day they came and she showed Alfred how to make the coffee. When the others start making more regular appearances, she learns the identities of YJ team, WW, GLs, and others. Obviously when LB and CN appear as heroes with HM as their villain, they immediately reach out to help. Because 1. Batfam clearly notices that it’s Mari and they sure as heck won’t let her deal with that by herself, and 2. The JL is worrying too much about their favorite barista (even though she’s not really one), especially with the Gigantitan scare. So, of course LB & CN (can’t make him bad everytime) get inducted into YJ.

[After Ladybug finishes defeating Gigantitan and detransforms]

“Bean! Are you okay? You’re not hurt, are you?” -Tim, being an even more protective older brother than Dick, which shouldn’t be possible

“Yes, I promise. I’m fine” -Marinette, who just accepts the fact that she’s adopted an older brother (and his famliy)

“Tube over, we’ll have Alfred make sure” -Dick, already pulling out the medical supplies for Alfred.

“I-”

“You shouldn’t worry your brothers like that, Marinette. Now come over so Alfred can clear you,” -Bruce, who just happens to overhear the conversation

“I’m sorry, Miss Marinette, they are very adamant that you’re in pitch perfect health before going out again,” -Alfred, who’s not actually sorry

“Fine” -Marinette, accepting her fate of her adopted, protective family.

7) “Thicker Than the Blood We’ve Shed”

Why is Marinette so freakishly strong? Because she was trained to be. Before she could even talk, Mari was taught to be an assassin. She and Damian were frenemies, both competing for top spot as best in the League (of Assassins). They often spared together and became rivals who pushed each other (which sounds great in that context if you forget about the fact that they’re killing people and turning it into a competition). When Damian’s care is turned over to Batsy, Mari also comes along for the ride. She implements herself into Dami’s classes at G.A. & watches him from afar. (Damian, not being an idiot, of course knows all this and knows that it’s probably for Mari to give a report to Talia.) When he becomes Robin, Mari obviously knows, but waits to see if anything drastic would happen (his care was given to the Batfam, they had already expected this to happen.) She then heard word of the bounty Talia put on Damian’s head. Marinette knew there wouldn’t be much she could do to help, but she ave Dami a warning about the upcoming situation before fleeing the country.

From there she got to France, changed her name (it wasn’t originally Marinette, it was Shénqí, chinese for miraculous/magical (or something else if you want)), was adopted by Tom & Sabine, and left her time in the League in the past. When she received Tikki, she didn’t want to be a hero because she didn’t think she deserved it after her up-bringing. Eventually, she did become LB (being a trained assassin does help with lucky charms, considering she was taught how to kill with basically every and anything), and life was good for her. Then Rossi came.

[Gotham field trip]

While at Wayne Tower…

“How idiotic are they?” -Damian, who after reuniting with his long-lost sister-from-a-different-mister (yes, Marinette was able to convince him to say it once), can’t understand the stupidity she has to deal with.

“Are you Robin?” -Mari, who is too tired, so just goes straight into the analogy

“Yes.” -Obvious and simply is.

“Exactly” -Mari, who can’t even put a limit to the amount of thought the one brain cell the class shares doesn’t use. I mean please, the so-called “reporter” believed that the first cosplayer she saw was the actual LB when they don’t even have the same hair! And let’s not forget the origins arc, where LB’s first citizen save was Chloe.

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chronicbatfictioner · 4 years ago

Text

"Overall, it wasn't so bad..." Tim commented.

"Except for the fact that Bane roared like a constipated bear and literally lunged at Damian and Jason threw him out the window..." Barbara quipped, her face serious but her lips were still twitching. "I... am highly amused. Twice."

"You were laughing until you bent over double that if you weren't in a wheelchair, you've probably knelt on the floor laughing." Dinah deadpanned. "It was hilarious."

"Yes, it was. The fact that Jason could actually lift Bane and throw him out... Did you guys see Bruce's face, though! Oh my god! He... he looked at Jason as if he'd seen the lord savior Jésus Todd or something!" Tim crowed. "Like, the dude Bane got thrown out a bay window twice. I get the awe, I was a little star-struck myself. But I can't believe dude actually wanted to try the third time until Alfred pointed a damn shotgun to his forehead! I can't even!"

"This thus solidifies my thoughts that the Waynes may be trying to figure out a way to get rid of this... brute without... I dunno..." Barbara pondered.

"Gotten themselves broken in half?" Tim suggested. "He sure insinuated that he would do such a thing to Damian."

"Oh, gee, Tim. Which part of his speech insinuated that? 'You lying bastard!', or 'I'll break you in halves!'?"

"I'm partial to the 'bastard' remark, really. I mean, pot, kettle?" Tim replied, giggling.

"Technically," Helena Bertinelli - The Huntress - sighed as she chimed in; "and ironically, at that; the 'bastard' would be Bane since he claimed to be Thomas Wayne's son and is younger than Bruce. Which means he was 'conceived' while Dr Thomas was already married to Mrs Wayne..."

"Right? Bruce and Talia were two consenting adults, albeit under 20 years old; and were wed in a local ritual witnessed by locals, according to Jason. You should see Bane's face when Jason presented copies of the marriage's registry." Tim continued.

"Oh, we saw, all right. Harper's drones worked quite well." Dinah replied, snickering, referring to Harper Row, one of their tech 'consultants'. "Even at that height, it still delivered crystal clear pictures. I vote we use them again."

"No vote needed, the drones are on stand-by at the Wayne Manor permanently at this point. I'm more interested in his reaction when Damian offered them a DNA test." Barbara told her.

"I'm more interested in Bruce Wayne's reaction, really. He didn't seem too surprised, as if he was expecting this to happen or something." Helena pointed out.

"Maybe he did," Barbara replied absently. "Dude has been swingin' more than the roarin' 50s, there has got to be some juniors out there that even he didn't know of."

"Ugh, while I'm not a fan of Bruce Wayne's womanizing ways, I personally don't think he's that reckless. He's not a drinker or a junkie, as far as I know. He has virtually no vice other than extreme sports." Helena argued.

"I agree," Selina, who has been quietly watching from the corner, chimed in. "This is a guy who got visibly antsy when some sexy girls in bikinis come up to him - I thought he was gay. But if he'd been... wedded to Talia Al Ghul all these times, that would make sense. He knew exactly where he stood, and what would come up if he screwed it up."

"Has Jason or Dick said anything of the Doc and Mama Wayne's reaction?" Helena asked.

"They seemed truly confused, a little apprehensive, but didn't seem to be opposed to the idea that Damian is Bruce's child. Dr Wayne said that a DNA test wouldn't be necessary, but Jason insisted it." Tim replied, and added a little absently a few heartbeats later. "But why would he, a physician with more specialties than a truck stop, would not question the biology of anyone claiming to be his biological descendant?"

Barbara glared at Tim, "excellent question, Tim. If my dad has someone coming out of the boonies saying he's related to me, the first thing dad would do is draw blood."

"They... don't care?" Dinah suggested. "Maybe the Wayne men were less... chaste than they appear?"

Barbara glared at her this time. "Of all the women Bruce Wayne has dated, I've only recorded a handful who would end up in a second date. Less than a handful who were actually mentioned beyond social media photos; and you know how I feel with social media photos: generic, unverifiable, and showoff-only. Dates with Bruce Wayne generally would start with the pick-up, dinner, and then some form of jewelry. I..." she looked at Selina and Helena, "you've both dated him at one point or the other."

Selina shrugged, "I went for a gala dinner, and was honestly there to scope the homeowner's safe, really. I wasn't interested in a follow-up date." she replied. "Helena?"

"Social arrangement. My people called his people and boom, we were on a red carpet." she elaborated. Helena was a part of a mafia family, until she decided that the mafia way would not be the best way to make Gotham a happy place for all, and donned the costume of the Huntress to hunt down wrongdoers. Barbara had decided to let her join to prevent her from going over the line and murder anyone out of overzealous-ness; but also in order to get a line-in into the mafia families.

"No second dates, either, huh?"

"No, I'll have to check, though. I think his people called me again, but I wasn't interested in a vapid playboy, even if he has more money than Jesus."

"Vicky Vale," Selina reminded. "She has had a... somewhat lengthy relationship with Bruce some years ago."

"Sooo... the next answer in our mystery could probably be answered by interviewing an investigative journalist." Tim commented.

"Oh, no..." Barbara grinned mischievously. "Not this investigative journalist. I know just the journalist to talk to when it comes to gossip among themselves."

Dinah snorted a laugh. "I thought you didn't like her."

"I liked Vale less," Barbara griped. "Plus, Vale is already getting news on Bruce's probable child; why shouldn't I send Lois Lane the allegations of the Bane Conspiracy?"

"Conspiracy with who?" Dinah asked curiously.

"Oh, the Waynes, of course, to get rid of the Court of Owls," Barbara smirked. "Why should we be the only ones racking our respective and collective brains when we can have someone else on the ground doing the grunt work?"

"Babs, you can be... pretty evil sometimes," Selina remarked. "I know there's got to be a reason why I like you."

"I'm also awesome with technology and can launder your ill-gotten money and make it legal and undetected." Barbara pointed out.

"Oh no, that's why I liked you." Helena quipped smirking. "Seriously, how many mob family can say their ill-gotten money is accountable by law?"

"As long as it is within the facets of the law, and so on and so forth... Anyway! Tim, you're quiet for more than two seconds. I'm always nervous when you're quiet."

"Just thinking..." Tim said, looking a little lost in his own brain. He often does that when he has at least a dozen scenarios running through his mind. Through the time of Barbara knowing him, Tim would probably be the only person whose claims of 'just thinking' wouldn't immediately be picked on by anybody.

"Care to share with the class, kitten?" Selina prompted.

"It's not fully mapped yet... but I was thinking. What if the Waynes aren't... didn't cooperate with Bane in order to destroy the Court of Owls, and they're literally being hostages in their own home? What if Bruce Wayne has predicted something like this could happen, and has gotten himself all prepared all the way to ten years ago when he wedded Talia Al Ghul? I mean, who would have had enough firepower to defeat Bane other than the Al Ghuls? Look at Jason," Tim pointed out. "He threw Bane out the window as if he was a fly. While Jason is as solid as a rock but isn't a metahuman - Bane is. He was assigned by Talia herself - out of Gotham - to protect and guide Damian-- why? What's so special about Jason Todd? Why did Talia choose him? Why didn't Bruce Wayne - at least - act shocked when Damian said he was his son? Surprised, sure. But not shocked or in denial.

"Who's gonna win if Bane turned out to be Dr Wayne's son? Who's gonna lose? What will they lose? Who is Bane accountable to? If none, who planted the idea of him being Dr Wayne's son? Because from what I've read about him, he was born and raised in a prison with his mother - no mention of a father. His mother was an insurgent of Hasaragua, fighting against US-condoned democracy. And while there was a record of Dr Wayne being there, there was no exact date and length of stay, because he was there privately and not as a part of Médecin sans Frontieres or something like that.

"What about Mrs Wayne? She wasn't a poor or uneducated woman, since she was a Kane. Society-wise, do you think she would have tolerated her husband's indiscretion, both then and now? Yet she kept quiet for nearly two months. She has a Ph.D. in psychiatry, and would she be the ones to keep quiet about DNA testing and all that? Personally, I don't think so. If my mother - a little 'lesser' society lady compared to Martha Kane-Wayne - ever got a word of a child that 'probably' got fathered by my dad, she would have demanded a divorce right away without bothering with a paternity test, sure. But my dad, who was also a society man, would have at least attempted to convince her that it was a mistake and/or it was a lie. What best method to decide a child's paternity than DNA test?

"The criminal front in general - especially the costumed criminals - has been pretty quiet since Bane eliminated the Court of Owls. Why? That's rather stupid since we know that the Court's Talons were the ones who made moves to 'discourage' the costumed freaks. Annnd... that's where I couldn't map out things further." Tim rambled.

"Keep talking, even half sentences are better than none, Timmy." Barbara prompted. Tim might have had a brain that worked a mile a minute, but he was still very young and would often get flustered with himself. Barbara, on the other hand, has an eidetic memory, and things Tim said tend to stick to her brain and would fill the gaps in any puzzles she might be thinking about. Even half sentences.

"Right, I do the fact spreads, you do the jigsaw-puzzling." Tim nodded. "The murders of Talia and Ra's Al Ghul. Jason said they were deliberately murdered in a way that they would never be able to be resurrected through the Lazarus Pit. The perpetrators would be the League of Shadows, a rogue splinter of the League of Assassins. Lead by Lady Shiva. Why? Why were they murdered? Why now and not - say - next year or last year? Who benefited by their death? Aaand... I'm done, for now, I think..."

"I... can feel a headache brewing," Dinah admitted. "You and your conspiracy theories." she rubbed Tim's head fondly. Tim gave her a half-smile, still trying to articulate the thoughts in his head.

"That's why we need him, he takes the most random input and makes a theory out of it, and some of them would actually make sense. I'll start a search string based on some of your questions. If you have more, don't hesitate to tell me, Tim." Barbara realized belatedly that her tone sounded dismissive, and turned to Tim. "Want me to call up for Chinese and powwow a little more?" she added.

Tim shook his head, still glaring blankly. "Thanks, I gotta go... I've some... things to look into. Thanks, Babs," he replied, ending it with a genuine smile as he got up.

"Want to come home with me, Kitten?" Selina asked, worry for Tim apparent on her normally-blank face.

"No, thanks, Ma. I gotta go back to the mansion, just in case, right?" Tim pointed out.

"Then Dinah should go with you," Selina decided.

"She's coming there later, right, aunt Dinah?" Tim asked. Dinah nodded.

"I'll get home with food, so don't worry about that, kiddo." she said. Tim waved them all and then walked out.

Once he was out of the door, Selina sighed. "Ah, young love..."

"Right? Remind me to check in on him before going to the House. I don't want to walk in on something and have him traumatized." Dinah agreed.

Barbara glared at them quizzically, and then at Helena, who shrugged. "Grayson said it first, I think. Our kitten is growing up. I just hope that Jason guy is worth his firsts..."

The memory of Tim gawking at Jason when he thought Barbara wasn't watching flashed in her mind.

Oh.

And then of Jason blatantly checking Tim out just before Oracle made her appearance, and at times when her Oracle projection was turned off.

"Oh boy," she sighed.

"That's about it in a nutshell. Good thing I've told him of the birds and the birds..." Selina grinned slyly.

"Millennial parenting at best, Ms Selina Kyle." Dinah grinned. "Come on, let's go patrol and induce the fear of goddesses to Gotham's low-lives before inducing maternal fear to our little kitten."

"...or to the big tabby. We'll see," Selina added, waving as she and Dinah walked out of the room.

Suddenly Barbara felt a little sorry for Jason. Just a tiny, teensy, weensy bit of sorry.

#Batless!AU #jaytim #Jason Todd #Tim Drake #Barbara Gordon #Selina Kyle #Helena Bertinelli #Dinah Drake #Oracle

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nonamenotitles · 5 years ago

Text

HELLO, IN THIS ESSAY I WILL TALK ABOUT RIDDLER AND DO A COMPARISION WITH A POP CULTURE BRAZILIAN CHARACTER AS WELL.

RIDDLER is a fascinating character. He can be portrayed as silly, or menancing. A gentleman with finesse and complex schemes or a completely mess who doesn’t really know what to do, but hey here’s 10 dolars for solving my riddle! Also Spandex! And Question Marks!

My Favorite Edward is the one from @askarkham. There’s lot of thing I like about him, but the one that resonates with me the most is this:

Ronnie, how dare you give me feels!

Because I’ve been there, my anxiety sometimes fills my head with so many things it’s overwhelming.

I am a lot better know with therapy and stuff.

But before treatment I too, soo many times, cried the same phrase.

That really touched me

Sooo

That’s why I’d like to talk about my fave villain who is very similar of another beloved character here in Brazil, who shaped every childhood here. (And I do get a little pride at showing my people’s comics, they’re great!)

A lot of other characters reminds me of the riddler. Like Wheatley!

@canadian-riddler made an wonderful analysis of the two characters.

I’ll poorly describe them: Polite and condescending, friendly enough until he get’s high advanced technology. Then he wants to put you through puzzles and puzzles and if you keep getting it right he will try to murder you with one of them.

But the character that reminds me of Riddler the most is:

Jimmy Five (English) Cebolinha (little onion) Cebola (onion) from Monica’s Gang/ Turma da Mônica

His main traits is his ingenuity, his five pointed hair and his dysdalia (pronounces R as L)

@drdeath did na wonderful analysis of Riddler and he’s motivations, and both these characters personality and motives matches a lot.

Cebolinha is a kid who gets in lot of trouble. He’s a very smart and clever kid, always bragging about he’s superior intellect, and creating “infallible plans” (who always fail) to defeat Mônica and earn the title of “owner of the street”.

Cebolinha also messes with Mônica to get her attention and for fun, calling her names ( he has a little crush on her, and in Turma da Mônica Jovem they’re dating) and he has almost a compulsive desire to knot the ears of her rabbit plushie.

Mônica’s main way to deal with the boys name calling is hitting them with her blue rabbit plushie (though the also gives them advice and uses other ways) which hurts a lot because she has super strengh!

Even though he has been beated numeours times Ceblinha never gives up. Believing he deserves the title of Owner of the Street, yet a lot of he’s plans fail because he understimates Monica’s own cleverness.

Despite everything the two kid’s consider themselves friends, and don’t hesitate to protect each other. We have a movie about the group of kids helping cebolinha to find his dog, floquinho.

A lhasa apso that for some reason is GREEN.

Turma da Mônica Jovem.

These comics are about the characters as teenagers. Cebola grew to be na expert with comouters, games and technology, he went to a professional and now only speaks L intstead os R when his nervous.

Batman notices it (but it’s another comic for another time)

Now he wants to take over the world to make it a better place.

He’s cleverness and plans saves his friends through the many and dangerous adventures they get themselves in.

Yet he’s been called out on his manipulations.

One of the earlie sagas was about the ID Mosters, the physical manifestations of the group worst traits and impulses.

They manifested because it’s in the teenager years that kids start to get more emotional changes, and start to be aware of their impuses and control them better than when as kids by developing their emotional intelligence.

Cebola’s mosters is a Liar and master manipulator who uses his charms and skills to get whatever he wants. And the kid had to deal with his shame and realise he is and can be a better person than in he was in the past.

Maybe Arkham should try the “fight the physical manifestation of your Id” it seems to work.

Important scene in the Saga.

Here Red Monica is Monica’s ID monster disguised. Humilliating Cebola. Later the Real Monica confronts him, thinking he’s sending fake messages to make her look bad. So he feels he’s being gaslighted.

THEN HE BEGS HER TO BEAT HIM.

C: Mônica...No... I will do anything...I

Cellphone*Sending to all contacts*

RM: Tomorrow you will make another sign, and will do my homework too! Or else... I will send your other love notes so everyone will laugh at you.

C: I thought that we...

I thought that...

I thought that you liked me!

RM: And I Like! I like when you do what I SAY!

M: CEBOLA!

Speak now! What nonsense is this!

Why are you saying such things about me. Did you decide to go back to the old plans?

Why are you lying,Cebola?

C: BEAT ME UP!

Go on, Mônica! Beat me up already! It was better when you beat me up!

C: Because being beated up by you doesn’t hurt s much...

As what you’ve being doing...

NOW! Of course emotional manipulation hurts more than being punched.

And what was the blackmail: Humilliation

Tying it with the Riddler: Edward surely feels that being beaten up by Batman hurts much less than the humiliation of being defeated. That’s also why he goes on and on with puzzles and plans even though if he fails he will physically hurt.

Because he’s already hurt! He already feels humilliated! And that’s the worst pain he’s ever endured and is still going on.

Back To the comics.

Later in the comics, He and Mônica confessed his feeling to each other, but Cebola explained he can only date her after defeating her.

He does get called out on it in later editions.

C: Mônica...I...

M: Why illusions of grandeur, Cebola? Why do you believe you need to be superior than me?

C: Superior? I don’t want to be above you, Mônica!

I want to be equal! Sice childhood you’ve been strong... confident...the leader...

While I always was the changing-letters kid who got beaten up at the end.

Okay, Edward Nigma wants to be above Batman. But most of the feelings is the same.

Eddy sees Batman as strong, and confident and a leader. While he’s the one who’s humiliated and beaten up.

C: You don’t realize it, right? You have no idea how hard it is to stand at your side...

Without feeling small.

I think I’m giving a little fuel to batriddle shippers... oh well.

As you can see, like Riddler, Cebola feels that he needs to prove himself, needs to prove he’s worth, to the point of delaying everything else in his life until heachieves it.

So my analysis is complete. BEHOLD!

HEADCANONS

I found a fic that I still wanna read called “Dinner at Wayne Mansion”, I get Riddler made the highest bidding in Bruce Wayne at the Bachelor Auction.

It reminded me of that comic where Eddie tried to trick Batman into dining with him.

I think this universe riddler would totally do the auction thing just to talk all night long with Bruce Wayne, and his projects and stuff. All happy and giddy. “Oh Bruce, how are the kids doing?”

Edward lowkeys wants Bruce Wayne to adopt him.

Come on DC! Give us na alternative universe where after his first crime and Batman finding out about he’s abusive household, Bruce decides “Okay I’m gonna raise this young man”.

Stephanie LOVES her Big Brother Eddie! He beat up her abusive dad (Cluemaster) and humilliated him with trivia knowledge and stuff.

I think one thing that should be explores is Riddler as na expert magician, he is a master escapist because he loves houdini, and magic employs cleverness and illusion.

He’s a geek for magic tricks.

He shows them to Harley and Jervis who look bright eyed and “Oooooooh”

Firefly asks if he knows fire tricks

He does and promplity shows off his skill.

Then John has to clean out the entire hideout because Edward fell for it and now Garfield knows there are flammable chemicals here.

Final Thought.

Well, there’s ANOTHER brazilian character that he reminds me of.

Visconde de Sabugosa (Viscount of Corncob) from The Yellow Woodpecker Farm

Ginger like lots of adaptations

Soul patch

Green tux

He’s main trait is his intelligence

differences

HE IS A LIVING DOLL MADE OF CORNCOB!

@jonathan-cranes-mistress-of-fear

@weyoun

@askarkham

@drdeath

@frommylack

@praprikat

#riddler #batman #turma da monica #monica's gang #turma da mônica jovem #tmj #cebolinha #brazil #brazilian comics #the yellow woodpecker farm #visconde de sabugosa #edward nigma #edward nygma

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perpetuelledaydreaming · 5 years ago

Text

Back to you (Chapter I)

Summary: Y/N Stark and Peter Parker are unconditionally in love with each other, being friends for years was just the step before making it official. BUT, just the weekend they became official Thanos and the snap happened, leaving Y/N broken: without friends, avengers family or Peter Parker. So, she has to move on, at least that’s what everyone’s telling her and she really tries to do it and who better to help her than Harry Osborn. But, has she really let Peter go? What if Tony Stark -genius, billionaire, playboy, and philanthropist- knows how to bring Peter back? And what happens when he does? Is Y/N going to avenge again? Who’s going to lead the avengers now? Who is she going to choose? Harry or Peter? and who the hell is mysterio? *He doesn’t even go here*

word count: 5.5 k

author’s note: This had to be SOOOO long but I’m really not feeling it like making it longer like I liked it as it is sooo yep. Anyway, this is basically just throwbacks because I think they are important to see the relationship and therefore to understand the impact? Next chapter will be brand new things with a new Y/N that can move on (not really) but we will meet someone super special.

series masterlist

You felt Peter’s leg behind your right ankle and you swore his eyes glimpsed with a little bit of regret as he swiped your legs from the floor, before you knew it you fell into the grey pad. You tried to regain a little bit of air that had escaped your lips as your shoulder blades hit the floor.

“I don’t like this game”, you groaned as you took a look at Peter who was holding you down by the shoulder.

Natasha was watching you closely, while Steve and Bucky were supervising Wanda and Sam. It was a normal Saturday in the Avengers Compound, you and Peter would drive up from New York in order to train with the others every Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and on weekends. It was hard to keep it up, especially since you were still expected to meet all your academic compromises. But being an Avenger was an all-time job, you knew it and chose it.

“You were the one who wanted to train with me today” Peter shrugged as he gave you a sour look.

Peter had a hate-love relationship when it came to train with you, he loved spending time with you, but he knew that you would get frustrated with him: his spidey-senses always being one-step-ahead of the game and his super strength, plus the fact that he hated seeing you hurt. For that reason, he almost always went up against Steve or Nat, but from time to time he trained with the others as well -mostly you- if you were being honest.

“Peter, stop talking” Nat addressed as she looked down at you two. “You don’t have much time now, stop playing around”

You smirked as Peter gazed up to respond to Nat’s claims, taking the chance you quickly threw a punch at his elbow, quickly destabilizing him and grabbing the back of his neck, pulling him away from you and into the floor with the help of your knee on his stomach. Peter groaned as he fell into the floor while seeing you stood up as fast as you could and gazing down at him with a smirk.

“Come on, underoos”, you grinned as you turned around and began running to take the flag that was on the other side of the room.

It could be maddening for you training with Peter, but you liked it. Not only because it made you a better fighter since you had to find a way in order to surprise Peter who had the advantage of having his spidey-senses but also because you liked how competitive you guys could get -and also, you loved how Peter looked with his gray sweatpants hanging low on his hips-. It was somehow thrilling to be at that position with Peter, he was always so soft with you and still when training he was extremely delicate with the amount of force he used for each movement since he was scared of actually hurting you, but he didn’t pull back like he normally did and, for some reason, it gave you goosebumps only thinking about it.

Peter smirked as he used his web-shooters, pointing at your right ankle and then pulling it away, making you fall chest first into the grey pad.

“That’s not fair” You spat as you felt Peter running towards the flag, you glared at him. “If I knew we were going to use our tech, I would’ve worn my suit”

“Stop complaining” Peter answer as he ran.

Peter passed you with a wink as he giggled when you finally stood up, he began increasing his speed as he was approaching the flag, you frowned and began sprinting towards him, getting closer. You really hated running since you were used to flying and your usual training routine was combat fighting but running really wasn’t your thing, the only person who hated running more than you was Peter. He really, really didn’t like to run so when you lunged forward at him, tackling him completely, he wasn’t really surprised.

He fell the first face on the floor with a groaned and you couldn’t help but laugh a bit as you grimaced thinking about how much it hurt, still you couldn’t afford the losing time and had to focus on retaining Peter on the floor enough time for you to sprint towards the flag. Quickly, you tried to catch his right arm in order to fold it against his back, but you felt his back muscles contracting to give you enough notice to know he wanted to turn around in order to attack. Before Peter realized, you jumped high enough to avoid him pulling you into the ground like you’ve done, instead as soon as he had changed positions you sat on his lap again, while pinning his right arm with both of yours and his left one with your right foot.

He gazed bug-eyed at your feet on his wrist and then looked up to you smirking down at him and he felt hot by looking at you: your cheeks were blushed from the action and one strand of hair was falling from your ponytail, your chest was shining with sweat and your chest was moving up and down, covered on that black tank top that you usually wore when training.

“Like what you see, Parker?” You muttered as you gazed down at him and he couldn’t avoid the crimson red appearing on his cheek as his gazed linked again with your Y/E/C eyes.

But he could only remain silent and you felt electricity running through your body as his eyes pierced yours.

RINGGGG!

The alarm went off, snapping you from the moment and you stood up from the pad as quickly as you could, looking down at the floor and simply clearing your throat while Peter stood up, trying to hide the blush on his cheeks.

Nat walked towards you, a deadpan look on her eyes as she placed her hands on her hips while she observed you quietly.

“It’s not funny anymore when you train without completing the mission,” Nat told you as you looked at her with your arms behind your back. It was actually the third time this week you hadn’t completed the task and it was finally getting under her skin.

“We are sorry, we didn-” Peter muttered as he placed a hand behind his back while he gazed at the Black Widow watching them with disappointment on her eyes.

“No, no more excuses” Nat remarked as she crossed her arms over her chest while breathing deeply. “You need to stop this, or you will not train together anymore since you’ve proven you can’t leave your flirty banter behind”

And that’s when your mouth dropped as you blinked faster than usual while looking at Natasha. Peter, on the other hand, wished that the earth could swallow him right there, he wanted nothing more than to disappear.

“What?” You snapped in disbelief.

“Oh yeah, the sexual tension can be felt from the other side of the room” Wanda added excitedly with a smirk while her, Bucky, Sam and Steve walked towards you.

“Language” Steve stated while he looked at her while shaking his head.

“Oh my god, stop”, you muttered as you covered your face with your hands, rolling your eyes as Wanda snickered with Sam. “It’s nothing like that, right Peter?”

It was the only thing you could think about in order to let it go, but Peter remained quiet for a few seconds more than you anticipated. You spun around to see a red widen eyed Peter looking at the floor, he was trying so hard not to look at you, fearing he will get more blushed if he saw you.

The truth was, Peter had a crush on you since day one. When Tony Stark appeared on his house, without previous notice, eating Aunt May’s burn cookies and telling him that he was being recruited, he thought his life couldn't possibly get more twisted. But he didn’t know what was coming, he didn’t know that at the moment he would arrive at the Avengers Building, his world would be turned around by another 16-year-old girl, no other than Tony Stark’s daughter.

He remembered it so vividly: your laugh, it had completely pulled him out from his conversation with Tony, who was showing him around the labs of the Avengers Tower, he turned around immediately and looked around -he actually didn’t know what intrigued him so much about it but he just had this urge to know who it came from- he gave a left and then a right and he found you in the middle of the lab. Bruce was helping you fix some gadgets of your first suit, you had built it mostly yourself but sometimes you would ask Bruce or your dad for advice. Bruce had done a stupid joke about ‘what was popping these days’ and you couldn’t help to laugh at how hard he tried with those dad jokes he always got out.

Peter stayed there, watching you for what it felt like an eternity for him before you caught on that someone what’s looking at you and for some reason you didn’t feel panic when you saw this unknown boy watching you, but you smile at him.

“Spider got your tongue kid?” Sam snorted as he watched Peter, who couldn’t get a word out of his mouth and he was starting to get so embarrassed.

You felt your heart thumping on your chest as more time passed without Peter actually saying anything. It had been after about six months of knowing him that you actually knew you fell for him, but it took at least five more to admit it to yourself. Peter had actually been the first real friend you had in your life, you could tell anything to him, you actually felt like he would never leave your side and it was the best feeling but the most terrifying you had. For some reason, maybe mommy issues since she hadn’t actually been there for you, it was hard to let anyone in and hell, being the daughter of Tony Stark didn’t make it easy to let people in. Therefore, it was ten times harder for you to admit that you were unconditionally in love with Peter Parker.

“See what you did? You broke him!”, you barked at the others as you glared at them. “Come on, Peter”, you announced as you held his hand and started walking away from the others.

“I wasn't finished, Y/N” Nat yelled as you got closer to the door.

But you didn’t want to stay there no more, and you didn’t want them to insinuate more things that were making Peter clearly uncomfortable and hurting you when he didn’t reply, was it so bad for him to imagine sexual tension with you?

Six months later you would find out that it wasn’t true, that Peter was more than happy to flirt and have sexual tension with you, but it would all be for nothing because less than a week later he would turn into ashes. …

“Y/N, Y/N” Tony repeated, the sound was muffled by all the blankets that were covering you. You heard him rumbling in your room, cursing to himself as he might have stepped on some clothes or food. “Y/N wake up”

He was angry, you knew that he was, but the thing was that you didn’t care.

When you saw Peter turning into ashes, you really thought something had just turned off inside of you. To be completely honest, you didn’t remember much after it and you didn’t bother asking your dad when you woke up in a stranded spaceship. Nebula and your dad were trying to fix the ship in order to make it home and you didn’t know if you made it worse, you didn’t want to and you really tried to get focus on helping your dad but you felt mostly numb, it was like you were on a catatonic state, you snapped out from it momentarily when your dad needed help with his wound.

But other than that, everything turned dark, you were sure that if it wasn’t for Carol coming for you, then you wouldn’t have made it longer and the worst thing was that you felt like you couldn’t help yourself.

“Y/N I’ve had enough” Tony’s shout woke you up from your thoughts and you uncover yourself from the blankets.

You watched your father’s face contorted as he looked at you, you knew you didn’t look good. You had a dark purple bag under your eyes, the liner and mascara didn’t help much, and he could tell you had been crying -again-, your hair was dull and lifeless, and you were breaking out. But for Tony, the most upsetting thing was your eyes, how they depicted incredible sadness and it hurt his heart seeing you like this.

He hated it.

“What?” You muttered as you rubbed your eyes with the back of your hands.

“Y/N I’ve had enough. Enough with the drinking, enough with staying in bed three days in a row, enough with the partying, enough with the drugs. You need to stop”, Tony stated as he looked at you concerned.

You scoffed.

“I don’t do drugs”, was the only thing that came out from your mouth as you decided to look at the hour on your phone, but it was too bright.

“I know you haven’t, but I saw that little bag you have there, and I know you’ve had it for a while”, Tony stated in silence, his eyes were piercing you as you tried to look away.

It was true, you had tried to keep it hidden for a while now. When you were in one of your little adventures, those nights out in one of the clubs still working after the snap, someone had handed them to you and you had been drunk enough just to place them in your back pocket. When you woke up and you saw them, you immediately knew you had to throw them away, but you simply didn’t, you didn’t want to think why.

You remained silent.

“The thing is, Y/N, I used to know you would never use them but now I’m not so sure”, Tony stated a deadpan expression in his face.

It had honestly been a while since you felt like something actually hit you, that something made you react. You had been feeling numb ever since the snap and you had been especially trying to keep it together as much as you could in front of your dad, hence why you remained distance. You wanted to believe that he or any other remaining Avenger didn’t know you were that bad, you honestly tried but it had gotten worse and worse as the time passed. For you, everyone was trying to get past it, working to fit themselves into this new hopeless world. Especially your dad and Steve who were so resilient because of their past experiences that you felt like you were actually just dragging everyone down.

The only one you thought was feeling the same way was Natasha, but you ended up placing distant again and again because as she tried to let you talk, you couldn’t without feeling the urge to hurl. And so, you had built so high walls around you, around your heart and you simply tried to remain to yourself, tried to keep it together and simply carry your problems somewhere else and numb them as better as you could.

“Dad…”, you whispered, you tried so hard not to let the tears spill once again because your eyes were so tired of them, but you couldn’t help yourself. “I’m sorry”, were the only words that slipped out of your mouth before you began sobbing uncontrollably.

He felt his heart clenching on his chest as he saw your body trembling uncontrollably, once you let out the first tear, the rest followed like an unbroken stream. It was tough seeing you like this, he was so sorry you had lost almost everyone when Thanos had snapped away half of humanity and he knew you had it rougher than anyone because of your age.

While you were stranded into outer space, Tony really thought it was the exhaustion and grief and trauma, but that you would be okay as time passed, especially considering that Pepper had survived, and your little sister was on the way. But once you returned and you began staying more and more in your room, then you started sneaking out at night and then you simply stopped talking.

He especially knew it when entering your room while you were sleeping after you arrived at 5:00 a.m. he saw you watching a video of you and Peter. You were messing around that day at the MOMA, you were trying to take does “couple-like” pictures where you are holding Peter’s hand while dragging him into another exhibition. There was no way you were going to get over that easily, he thought.

“Honey, it’s going to be okay” Tony muttered as he began holding you, you looked extremely tiny as you let yourself melt in your father’s hands after so many months trying to ‘keep it together’ as you could.

“It’s just not fair. Wanda’s gone, Vision’s gone so is Bucky and Sam. Not even Ned, MJ, Betty or Flash didn’t survive”, you explained your father between sobs. “And Peter, we were going to be together and we wanted to do so much”

Tony knew it wasn’t fair and he still had nightmares of you crying over the ashes of Peter. He had lost the boy and it broke his heart.

“I know, this broke your heart in ways that I can only imagine” Tony assured you as he played with your hair. “And I know you got it worse than many of us”

You simply nodded in agreement, as your mind flashed moments when you were working with Peter on your lab when you were having training sessions with Wanda, when you went for pizza with the Midtown gang, but it was all gone.

“I always thought it would get easier”, you inhaled deeply as you tried to calm yourself without much success, “

And so, Tony shook his head and he clasped your face in his hands, so you could look at him. His gaze was strong and there was a little smile on his face.

“It does get any easier kid if you are ready to work for it”, Tony’s stated as he looked at you tenderly, “I understand it’s harder for you, you lost a lot. But there are people who lost even more than us. You have me, Pepper is here and that little monster on Pepper’s belly, she’s going to be here soon. You have a family here and we love you. It might not be the one you had, but we are here.”

And as your father said those words, with his eyes on the verge of tears but that also dripped so much love, you stopped crying. Your tears came to an end and it was the first time in a while that you simply stopped at will, not because you were too tired, and you fell asleep or because they didn’t come out anymore.

“I’m so sorry”, you whispered, overwhelmed but the new feeling. “I just don’t know how to be me, I’ve been feeling so off this last seventh months and I just don’t know how”

Tony smiled because those words simply brought him back to the cave with Yinsen when he first created Mark 1. Don’t waste it, don’t waste your life, Stark, he thought.

“You simply don’t waste it honey”, his voice breaking a bit as he pulled you into a hug. “Peter wouldn’t let you waste it.”

And then something clicked on you.

…

“You have to be kidding me…”, you spat out as your suit quickly materialized around you while you were walking out with Peter from this pizza place on Lower Manhattan you loved when you saw Scorpion jumping from one of the buildings, from the D.A. building and people were screaming like crazy on the streets.

Peter ran inside to put on his suit while he was cursing to himself, you couldn’t help to scoff as you saw how Scorpion was growling, scaring bystanders.

It had been a couple of months of Scorpion attacking New York and making you incredibly annoyed. You were in finals and Junior year was actually getting to you since you had to start sending college applications soon. Everyone, apparently, knew where they wanted to go and what they wanted to do, MJ was clearly sociology on Columbia and then she would go for Law, MIT was a no-brainer for Ned, Flash was actually thinking of taking a sabbatical semester to travel and Betty had been already taking classes on Yale. Everyone but you and Peter. He was actually as confused as you were on what to do: He knew he wanted a degree, but he also knew that he wanted to be a full-time Avenger like Steve or Tony, but he didn’t know exactly which came first.

You had been actually discussing with your dad your career path since you actually didn’t know if you were going to MIT. It hadn’t been pretty breaking it up to him the day before and Peter had decided to buy you a slice of pizza to make it better.

Well, until Scorpion decided to make an appearance.

“Come on out to play Stark, come out to play with Spider-man” Scorpion sang from the entrance of the D.A.’s office and his eyes gleamed with malice when he saw you in your suit, landing in front of him.

If you were being completely honest, Scorpion didn’t scare you at first but in more recent attacks you had been noticing that his suit grew more and more complex with time and now you were kinda nervous. He always managed to knock you out enough time to escape before you could get back up or before the other Avengers who weren’t on missions would come and help you.

“H.A.P.P.Y, please evacuate all the civilians from 35th street to 50th street. Notify first responders and also my dad and Steve”, you muttered as you crack your neck. It had been a rough training yesterday with Nat, but you felt more prepared.

“Will do, Miss Stark”, H.A.P.P.Y. spoke in your ear.

Scorpion laughed at you and as he started dangling from the first floor, you saw who he was holding with his tail, the D.A. was shitless scared being squeezed by the villains’ tail as a white cloth was wrapped around her mouth.

“You know Stark, Mr. D.A. right here didn’t think I could be more than an actual private investigator, she didn’t think I could become a hero, even bigger than Spider-man, hell even better than Iron Man.” Scorpion laughed as he licked his lips.

“Don’t flatter yourself”, you said as your suit quickly calculated which was the best move to remove the D.A. from Scorpion’s tale. “You really think you could be better than Iron Man? You can’t even reach Spider-man’s levels”

“I don’t know if that’s an insult or a compliment”, Peter said into the com as he landed on the building's window, crawling over the windows.

Scorpion growled as he turned around and watched Peter crawling closer and closer to him. “I’m a real hero, you freak!” He yelled as he lunged towards Peter, climbing the building again but being distracted enough to let the D.A. a little bit looser on his tail.

You smiled to yourself as you flew silently towards Scorpion while he kept climbing the building going after Peter who was executing a flawless gymnastics routine as he dodged every single hit that Scorpion sent his way, thanks to his spidey senses.

Peter knew each and every one of the movements that he was throwing and for most of it, he was avoiding his claws from ripping his body while trying to immobilize them with the web. But for some reason, they weren’t that strong for him anymore.

And he got a feeling that it wasn’t good.

But you weren’t paying much attention as you quickly and silently as you could take a hold of the D.A.’s hand. Always take a hostage to a safe place first, then attack the enemy, you thought as your mask quickly disappear as you smiled to calm the D.A. down.

“Hey Mrs. Beck”, you smiled as you took off the cloth and she inhaled sharply. “I’m getting you out of here, but I need you to hold my hand really tight”

The only thing she could do was a nod in affirmation as you smiled, and the mask materialized back. You flew a little bit farther away, while still moving in sync with Scorpion’s movements against Peter. You were on the sixth floor by now and knew it would get even risky if you didn’t execute your plan. Breathing deeply, you pointed your left hand at the Scorpions tale, a safe distance from the D.A.’s and fired.

Scorpion howled as his tail quickly loosen up from the D.A.’s body and you knew it was your moment. You pulled the D.A. from his tail and with your left hand you shot the closest window to your left, then as carefully as you could give the circumstances you threw the D.A. into the building, making sure she landed on the mat floor between some desks.

She did, she stood up as soon as she could and began running into the building.

“Okay Peter, D.A. is secure now w-”, were the only things that left your mouth as Scorpions tail came careening towards you, slamming into you and throwing you towards the building next door.

It was so fast and so hard, that you didn’t even realize you had crashed against several windows and found yourself into one of the offices of the next building. You groaned as you stood up a little bit dizzy and watched as Peter was trying so hard to stop Scorpion from coming for you, webbing him up as he said.

“Y/N, go!” Peter screamed into your com as Scorpion ripped the last web he had placed on his claw and had a few missing steps to crawl into the building you had fallen into. A sullen expression was drawn on his face as his twisted smile as he violently crawled closer and closer to you, the building shaking with every move he made.

You were right, he had gotten bigger and stronger.

“Fuck fuck” you mumbled to yourself as you jumped from the building and tried to fly as fast as you could outside the building, but it didn’t exactly go your way.

You jumped from the broken window as soon as you could, figuring it would be okay and you would get steady later but then you felt his strong grip on your ankle. You didn’t think he could touch you, you didn’t think he would but as closer, as it got, you got little to no time to react to his claws when you felt a sharp sting on your ankle and you screamed.

“You are dead meat, Stark!” He yelled with a growl as he held onto you, not allowing you to fly.

You turned around, ready to fire any number of shots for him to let you go but you didn’t need to because as soon as you gazed into Scorpion’s scarred eye you saw Peter. He was doing a chokehold on Scorpion, who was already turning purple and before you knew it, he had released you.

“Y/N I got you, go!” Peter yelled as you flew a little bit farther away, stunned by how quickly Peter had entered to help you.

But before you could say anything, you saw how Scorpion, with the same claw he was holding you with, reached for Peter and snatched him from his back, ripping Peter’s suit and painfully drawing three marks on Peter’s back that quickly gush out blood.

He screamed.

“PETER!”, you screamed as you watched with horror how Scorpion threw Peter from behind his back into the air.

And you felt your stomach dropping while Scorpion smiled sinisterly at the boy falling into the air but his smile faded away when he saw The Falcon flying towards him, firing shots while he made a run for it.

Peter was trying to react, to pull a web quickly so he could swing but the thing was the scratches -that would heal up quickly because of his power- had reached his muscles. Therefore, he failed and failed to really use his web-shooters and he was going to try again, one more time because the floor was getting closer and closer as the seconds passed.

When suddenly he stopped, he stopped falling into nothingness and when he opened his eyes, you were holding him. He smiled under his mask.

“Steve, he’s going out, his losing too much blood help”, Peter heard you said into the com, he was indeed seeing less and less. “I got you right back”, you whispered as you almost reached the floor where Steve was waiting for you two. /

You were holding Peter’s hand in the white and grey room on the medical wing in the Avengers compound, he was laid on his stomach because of his injuries. Thankfully, the available Avengers had come as quickly as they could from the compound, they still didn’t catch Scorpion who quickly disappeared when he threw Peter from the air and avoided Sam but at least there hadn’t been as much damaged as it could.

It annoyed you that he was still out though, especially after what he did to Peter.

You knew he was going to recover fast, by the night there would only be scars there and he wouldn’t be in the medical wing for more than a couple of hours, but you still worried about him, a lot. You weren’t actually ready to say it out loud, that you were actually falling in love with your best friend. It was weird because it started small, if we were being honest, you hadn’t even noticed but then it hit you like a cold shower and now you only pictured him with you.

“He’s going to be okay, you know that, right?”, Steve’s words snapped you out of your thoughts, you gazed at the door where he was with his arms crossed and leaning on the frame of the door.

You rolled your eyes, he had recently done one of those infomercials for the board of education and it had been ingrained into your memory when they showed your uncle on GYM class.

“Yeah, I know. I just …”, you licked your lips trying to catch the right words, “I just don’t want him to wake-up alone, this is one of those time where he was really hurt”

You nodded and swallowed hard as Steve’s eyes pierced you, but your eyes remained on Peter’s soft features, his eyelashes, his mouth, his nose… you liked to see him this calm.

“You know, Peter knew better than to approach Scorpion like that.” Steve said as he watched you from the door, “We practiced it a few weeks ago with Nat, he knew that he needed to be certain that the subject was weak, that he could overpower him”

Your eyes finally left Peter, watching Steve suspiciously about what he was saying.

“I know how to do a safe chokehold, you taught me.”, you let out silently, since you didn’t want to wake Peter.

“I’m just saying that if he did that today, knowing the risk that it entailed, he must really like you”, Steve whispered with a smirk on his face and you felt the crimson red growing on both of your cheeks as your eyes quickly focused on your hold on Peter’s hand.

“Oh my god, we are just friends”, you whispered back and tried your voice not to crack under the pressure as you looked at Steve who was smiling a bit. “We are best friends, can’t you let it go?”

“I’m just saying that he really cares about you and… it’s okay if you really care about him in that way”, Steve let out and you swear that if Peter somehow heard this conversation then you would probably die of embarrassment.

“H.A.P.P.Y can you lead Mr. Captain America to his room on the compound before I have to get up?”, you murmured as you glared at Steve who simply raised his hands and giggled as he began walking away.

“He really likes you Y/N” Steve let out before the door of the room closed.

You breathe a little easier once Steve left but you couldn’t help smiling a bit as you held Peter’s hand a little bit tighter.

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skyefullofdaisies · 6 years ago

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Endgame review(ish) LOTS OF SPOILERS

I saw it 2 days ago but needed some time to wrap my head around this one. I have never described a movie as a masterpiece before but this definitely hits all my boxes.

What I liked/loved:

•Watching Thanos die twice in one movie was an honor and a damned privilege.

•Tony and Nebula having a friendship & Carol rescuing them

•Pepperony’s reunion ❤️

•After we jumped ahead 5 years and Scott gets reunited with teenage Cassie. That made me tear up. If they ever do another Ant Man movie it’ll be great to see Cassie old enough to have a bigger role

•Seeing Nat crying and showcasing how much Steve and her have such a great relationship plus Carol’s new bad ass ‘do.

•SEEING PEPPERONY’S NEW LIFE! MORGAN STARK! DAD TONY!

•Tony knowing in the end there’s no way he won’t help. It’s just not in his DNA and insisting nothing changes from the last 5 years

•Dad bod!Thor

•Fucking “Dr.” Hulk. Ffs, Bruce 🤣

•The whole going back in time deal. I’m a sucker for time travel and watching Scott get turned old/young and not knowing which one peed his pants, lmao, and Tony guessing right off the bat what happened

•The renewal of the Tony/Steve friendship and team. I missed the two of them being on good terms

• “Dr. Hulk” half heartedly trying to imitate his 2012 self destroying things. Again, for fuck SAKE, Bruce. 😂

•Cap saying “Hail Hydra” easter egg. Since all of us fans were sooo angry over them making Cap hydra in that comic. Steve being all smug as he walks out with the scepter. Tony having Scott give past!tony freaking arrythmia’s for a distraction then being all smug because he thinks he got away with it just to be mowed down by The Hulk who was angry he had to take the stairs & Tony teasing Steve about his ass and Scott admiring it. Same, dude. Same.

•The entire scene of Dr. Hulk going to get his stone

•Steve fighting himself. The whole thing was gold.

• “I can do this all day.” Annoyed future!steve “I know, I know” & “That really is America’s ass” And god bless that ass, my golden haired freedom baby.

•Steve and Tony teaming up and overruling Scott because damn do I miss Stony

•The entirety of Thor/Frigga & Tony/Howard

•MJOLNIR RETURNS

•Everyone finding out about Nat’s death and her mini funeral. Not that I “liked” it per say but I thought it was a beautifully acted scene on Scarlett’s part. Clint’s reaction had me bawling as well as everyone else. I’m not a Bruce/Natasha shipper at all but still. It was a very hard scene to sit through with the whole theater sniffling behind me since I was in the front row. (Side note: LOVED Natasha’s blond/red hair. It was really pretty on her)

•Dr. Hulk taking one for the team by wearing the infinity gauntlet. After Nat’s death I really think there may have been a small part of him that wouldn’t have minded joining her. I was happy to see him make it though

•Nebula getting through to past!Gamora and taking past!Neb down

•Tony finding Steve and calling him “my guy” GOD DAMN DID I MISS THAT FRIENDSHIP

•Thor doing that lightening clothing transformation thing and having both weapons

•Everyone teaming up to kill Thanos (again)

•STEVE BEING WORTHY & SUMMONING LIGHTNING MY GODDDDD THAT WAS HOT (the entire theatre erupted in cheers when he was standing there with his shield and Mjolnir. The scene was even cooler in 3D) Thor smiling when he saw all this and saying “I knew it”

•Steve preparing to face Thanos and his whole army by himself and then all these portals pop up and IT’S EVERYONE. Again the entire theatre were on our feet clapping, cheering and laughing with joy the second the Wakandians came into view. Best. Scene. Ever.

•Pepper! In! A! Suit! Again!

•Peter and Tony’s reunion! Peter talking a mile a minute and Tony being so emotional he just hugged him. Fuck, man. Right in the feels indeed

•All female heroes teaming up

•Wanda being enraged at Thanos and his royal grape ness being scared of her power as well as Carol’s when she showed up

•The Entire fucking battle. The mini reunions. I could sit here and go on for ages about it. This battle scene pretty much was one of the best ones I’ve ever seen in any movie/tv show ever.

•Tony realizing what Dr. Strange meant when he said “if I told you what had to happen it wouldn’t happen” and the look that passed between them. Stephen looking at him with sorrow.

•Tony, knowing it was gonna kill him, putting the gauntlet on anyway.

•Again watching Thanos lose everything he loved to disintegration like our heroes did and realize he’s lost to the Avengers again then die himself. I don’t think I’ve ever hated a movie villain more than him to date.

•Tony’s death. At this point I was back to trying not to sob out loud in front of a bunch of strangers. Peter’s reaction is what got me going. Pepper’s as well as the rest of the OG Avengers who had been with Tony the longest. Rhodey crying and pulling Peter away. Just writing this now I’ve got tears in my eyes.

•Pepper telling Tony it was okay to go and she and Morgan would be fine

•The funeral. The grown up kid from Iron Man 3 being there. Aunt May and Peter. Sending that wreath out onto the lake. It was a stunning scene. Happy talking to Morgan.

• “I love you 3000”

•Old man!Steve. Look, I do not care what plot holes it creates. This movie was too well done to let stupid technicalities bug me. As a loooong time Steggy shipper I’m so happy he got to live where he wanted to live back in the 40’s with the love of his life. I’m thrilled Peggy got the love of hers. I don’t care that it destroys the Agent Carter show. It got canceled anyway so I just do not care. Nor do I care about whoever Peggy’s husband ended up being (it was Daniel from AC, I think) getting erased. The two of them pined for each other for so long I think it was beautifully done in the end. I wish we’d gotten to know how many kids Steggy had but 🤷‍♀️. Bucky was still Bucky. No, Steve didn’t kiss his niece if you listened to Bruce’s explanation but people are being stupidly stubborn on that bit. Steve has been my ride or die hero since his original movie in the MCU. I was terrified he was gonna die in sacrifice. I hate, HATE that it was Tony but I’m a little relieved at the same time, I won’t lie. I’d like to think Steve and Peggy were around for baby!tony. Maybe they were Aunt Peggy and Uncle Steve to him.

•Scott, Hope and Cassie mini family

•Clint happily reuniting with his family

•Ned and Peter reuniting

•SAM! BEING! PASSED! THE! CAPTAIN! AMERICA! MANTLE! I cannot wait for Bucky & Sam’s tv series.

•The film closing out with dancing Steve and Peggy happily in love.

What I did not like/hated:

•Loki surviving. I just hate him. Obviously he was going to given he is getting his own show too but Christ on a cracker

•Both Tony and Natasha’s deaths. I know why they happened but it still really really sucks to lose any of the team for any reason. Seeing the Tony stans super upset has been very hard even if we all knew it was gonna be Steve or Tony dying. It’s one thing to know it and then another to actually see it play out

•Clint’s family dissolving? 😭😭 Yes, we knew it was gonna happen but watching it suuuucked

•Not showing the Aunt May/Peter reunion. She had to live 5 years without him after all.

•Not getting to see Carol and Nick interact or reunite.

•Not getting to see Maria’s reaction to Natasha’s death (I know there was only so much time and these reunions are just splitting hairs but I would have liked to see them)

•Not enough Pepperony!Parents scenes. (Again, splitting hairs here, lol)

Over all:

A++++++++

I didn’t go into this movie with expectations in case it was a disappointment. Needless to say it was NOT a disappointment in the least. It was a beautifully done film. The cinematography was stunning. I laughed, cheered, was kept in suspense and definitely cried. Which is not easy to get me to do. I will miss Tony and Pepperony every day but I also cannot wait to see Wanda get Vision back in their series. However that happens nor the Bucky/Sam team up. I think I hit all the major points (I hope). I intend to go see the movie again next week. The Russo Brothers did a wonderful job honoring 11 years worth of movies and the fans who have been here since 2008. A lot is storylines were paid off and the like. Just amazing. Thank you for reading this long word vomit.

#avengers endgame spoilers #endgame spoilers #avengers spoilers #captain america #tony stark #spoilers

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wearetakingthehobbitstogallifrey · 7 years ago

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Gotham 4x15 (spoilers below)

-And we open with Martin, the adorably creepy lil child who will probably turn into a genius supervillain someday, considering with what a sweet smile he follows the instructions that will lead to the demise of his ugly captors. I hope he lives long enough for that, because if there is one thing I don’t want to see on Gotham again it is the murder of a child *cries quietly thinking of Alex*

And OMG it is Ed/the Riddler who just rescued him, “sent by Uncle Penguin” lol ALSO Ed is gonna take Martin out of ice cream that’s sweet. I mean the kid probably needs therapy and a psych check but yes, he definitely should get some ice cream, Sofia tried to murder him once already

-Sidenote: I love the Gotham skyline with the distant beautiful skyscrapers but if you look closer, at the darker buildings, shorter, uglier, with smoke and smog, you’ll see all manner of poor and broken things

-OMG so Samson just killed a man in front of his family and I am sOOO ready for Lee to somehow get back her power and absolutely destroy him (she looks so good in black...)

-WAIT I THOUGHT JIM AND HARVEY MADE UP IN THE LAST EPISODE WHY IS HARVEY ALL LIKE YEAH AFTER WE TAKE DOWN SOFIA I TAKE DOWN YOU?? (come on Gotham, why do you have to be so realistic as to make the healing process long and painful? or wait, he just said, I will personally make sure you pay, so maybe he’ll just have Jim pay for all his alcohol therapy from now on? please? I need my cop brotp!)

-LOL SELINA BREAKING INTO WAYNE MANOR AND RUMMAGING THROUGH ALL HIS CANNED GOODS

Selina: DUDE WHY DON’T YOU HAVE ANY FOOD

Bruce: ummm cause I was a jerk and kicked Alfred out for a few months and I lived on like takeout and club food and Alfred hasn’t had time to hit up a grocery store?

aww Selina wants to return the stuff she stole from the family whose patriarch Ivy turned into a miniature garden AND she doesn’t want to bother Barbara with it, because, yeah, like Barbara would care? SO SHE GOES TO BRUCE INSTEAD! AND HE DOESN’T LET HER DOWN OR CHASTISE HER OR ANYTHING HE JUST SEES SHE IS TRYING TO MAKE WHAT AMENDS SHE CAN AND HE IS LIKE GIVE ME LIKE FIVE SECONDS I’LL GET YOU SOME CASH AND HE GOES OFF AND SELINA JUST—SHE JUST SMILES! BECAUSE BRUCE HAS HER BACK AND SHE HAS HIS! THESE TWO! WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME!

-BAHAHAHAHA Oswald guessing the answer to the rhyme and then guessing the meaning of the answer a split second after, too late

mmhmm sweet old grandma in the candy store used to skin people and stuff like par for the course in Gotham good grief

-YAAAASSSSS VICTOR ZSASZ THE SASSY ASSASSIN IS BACK AND MAKING HILARIOUS HAND MOTIONS WHILE LOOKING QUITE UNIMPRESSED WITH SOFIA’S RAGE ISSUES

-so like Victor’s all cool with killing the Penguin off (and is gonna take a buddy along with him) but I still want to know what would happen if he ever found out Sofia was behind her dad’s death...

-GUYS CAN WE JUST GIVE A ROUND OF APPLAUSE OR SOMETHING FOR HARVEY BULLOCK, WHO HAS GOT A LOT OF ISSUES AND SOMETIMES SAYS HE IS A COWARD BUT THEN WALKS DOWN THE MIDDLE OF A HALLWAY TOWARD NOT ONE BUT TWO EXTREMELY DEADLY ASSASSINS POINTING A GUN AT THEM

“I DON’T KNOW WHY YOU TWO ARE HERE AND I DON’T CARE. WALK AWAY” you’re a good man Harvey

-Victor: Harvey do yourself a favor and walk away, give us Penguin and live to get drunk another day, hmm?

LOL

BUT ALSO

HARVEY SAYS NAH

*sirens go off and Victor and whatshisname look mildly irritated at being interrupted*

Victor: it’s okay we’ll come back

-EXCUSE ME BRUCE AND SELINA ARE ON A DATE IN A STORE LOOKING FOR THAT STUFF SHE STOLE THIS IS AMAZING

Selina: you’re different

Bruce: *looks back at her, with a side smile* HOW. DO YOU LIKE IT. DO YOU LIKE ME. DID I GET HOTTER. ARE YOU MORE IN LOVE WITH ME

I mean he didn’t say that exactly but that’s totally what he was thinking

Selina: you’ve been the world’s greatest DOUCHEBAG but now...you’re nOt (OK LIKE THE INFLECTION OF HER VOICE SHE IS SO FREAKING HAPPY TO KNOW THAT HE HASN’T REALLY TURNED INTO THE SPOILED BRATTY JERK SHE SAW AT THE BAR)

-OMG THESE FREAKING KIDS I LOVE THEM SO MUCH LOOK AT THEM ALMOST LITERALLY DANCING AROUND EACH OTHER FLIRTING AND BRUCE TRIES TO APOLOGIZE FOR BEING A GRADE A JERK AND SELINA IS LIKE SAVE IT *SMILES* YOU’LL PROBABLY BE A JERK AGAIN LATER AND SHE tOUCHES HIS chEEK with her HAND AND SLIDES IT ACROSS HIS SKIN ALL SEDUCTIVELY AND BRUCE IS ABSOLUTELY DONE FOR HE JUST SMILES AND SAYS I MISSED YOU TOO BUT HE IS INTERNALLY SCREAMING AND WILL NEVER STOP

Selina: *messed up*

Bruce: great

Selina: YOU REMEMBER WHAT I SAID ABOUT BEING A DOUCHEBAG?!

-At this point, a brief, glorious fight ensues, in which Bruce and Selina beat up the bad guys and Selina CATCHES A GUY’S ARM WITH HER WHIP SAVING BRUCE FROM GETTING SHOT AND THEN BRUCE PUNCHES HIM OUT

Bruce: *destroys a guy and takes his stuff, also drops hundreds of dollars of cash on him* JUSTICE

-so Oswald and Ed are teaming back up which should mean for some fun times for some people and death times for other people...but Martin is safe so that’s good. LOL and Ed gives his hat to Oswald to hold? but Penguin does NOT have time for Ed’s explanations, come on Oswald, let Ed have his day

-ohhh dear I have a feeling that Ed/the Riddler is gonna be pulled back and forth between Lee and Oswald for the foreseeable future? or are they going to team up to destroy Sofia?

-BAHAHAHAHAHAHA ED’S BACK UP PLAN TO LEE HELPING THEM IS TO PUT OSWALD IN ICE AND HAND HIM OVER TO SOFIA LIKE “A CHILLY TROJAN HORSE” OMG

Oswald: HELL NO

-So Grundy...is living in tunnels under the city?? with...loads of candles?? ?

-Ed: guess what I’M SMART AGAIN

LOL look Cory Michael Smith kills this role that’s all I have to say

-UM Ed pretty sure you’re about to get beat up by Butch Gilzean (so wait BUTCH is the one who likes atmospheric candles?!)

-some days I look at Oswald and I’m like....boi you’re short

-Lee: *tries to work with Oswald and Ed to destroy Sofia*

Ed and Oswald: *disappear*

Lee: *eyeroll* WHAT DRAMATIC IDIOTS I’VE GOTTA DO EVERYTHING mYSELF

-LOL I’VE MISSED HARVEY HAVE-SERIOUSLY COMPLAINING ABOUT JIM TO JIM

Harvey: how did Nygma get in touch with penguin anyway

Jim: I don’t know

Harvey: nothing is ever easy with you is it. It’s always like, find Lee and then she’ll point us to Ed and then we’ll find Penguin and he’ll tell us where to find Pen

-ALSO

RIGHT AFTER THIS

PENGUIN APPEARS (HE HAS NO MANNER OF LUCK AT ALL)

-OMG HARVEY “We’re looking for an Arkham escapee, about yea high, mommy complex” LOL

-honestly I’m kinda surprised that Oswald hasn’t had a heart attack yet the way he gets so worked up about stuff

-sooo Jim agrees to let Oswald go if he gives them information, and then he goes to shake his hand? I mean, like they have this really bizarre not exactly a friendship thing...I guess it’s Oswald has always considered himself Jim’s friend (in whatever strange way that is) and Jim doesn’t consider Oswald a friend but he knows him well enough to use that to his advantage...and honestly they’ve helped each other out of enough scrapes

-but also Harvey is now the WE DON’T MAKE DEALS WITH THE DEVIL. Which like I totally get and Penguin has proven himself to be a volatile, murderous element, but its weird to see Harvey so worked up about being a clean cop when he used to hobnob with crooks all the time...is it just because he had grown to respect Jim’s honor and goodness so much? And when Jim fell off his pedestal, Harvey was destroyed by that? And wants Jim to be better again?

-Victor: *shows up*

Me: you’re here to do bad things and impede the good guys but nevertheless I am so glad you are here

Victor: do you need Penn? is he important? yes, that’s his yes face

Me: *cracking up* I do indeed love you Victor

-LEE SAVES OSWALD (in a dinky little car that all those bullets should have gone through like it was paper)

-Barbara’s having a few issues...resurrection will do that to you (I’m pretty sure she legit died earlier, has that been made clear yet? I don’t remember, but there was that thing with Ra’s...was it confirmed she was dipped in the Lazarus pit?

-how on earth is Ed gonna get out of this mess? Oh he’s not. Oops

-Sofia: kill Penguin!! GET PENN!!!

Victor: yeah sooo Penn, Penguin, where are we priorities-wise? BAHAHAHAHAHA

-Penguin: *goes off on one of his rants* you can’t freeze me yet!!!

Victor Fries: ...don’t care

ICONIC

-I THOUGHT THE BATCAT SCENES COULDN’T GET ANY BETTER I WAS WRONG!!! So like Bruce and Selina are in Bruce’s kitchen, and Selina is just...fidgeting with the jewelry and Bruce is prepping ice for his bruises but then Selina asks him to return the jewelry for her because she feels so GUILTY and Bruce my beautiful wise understanding compassionate son tells her JUST what she needs to hear—that the guy’s death was NOT her fault!!! HE IS SO QUIET AND KIND TO SELINA

Selina: *hunched over the counter, darting quick looks at Bruce* (OMG SHE PROBABLY THINKS HE WILL BLAME HER TOO)

Bruce: *looking handsome and serious in his black turtleneck* *leans over the counter and gazes at Selina* you did NOT kill Roland Charles

Selina: but...I was there...and what am I supposed to say—I stole your jewelry, I’m sorry?

Bruce: sometimes that’s enough

AWWWWWWWW MY BEAUTIFUL PRECIOUS CHILDREN I’M SORRY I CAN’T I JUST LOVE THEM SO MUCH I MEAN JUST LOOK AT THEIR FACIAL EXPRESSIONS THROUHOUT THIS CAMREN AND DAVID ARE SUCH FREAKING GOOD ACTORS MY GOSH THE WAY BRUCE AND SELINA LOOK AT EACH OTHER WOW

-Sofia’s goon is torturing Ed yet the man still has not a single hair out of place like what kind of gel are you wearing again?? ?

-Ed: *RIDDLES AWAY*

Sofia: TELL ME WHERE PENGUIN IS

Ed: I AM TELLING YOU YOU’RE JUST TOO STUPID TO FIGURE IT OUT LOL

-Penguin rolls in all frozen in ice and Ed starts laughing OMG I GET IT OSWALD USED ED’S BACKUP PLAN AFTER ALL

-Victor Z: *looks at Ed, then Penguin, then Sofia* I’m not even gonna ask

-Jim and Harvey walk into the weird looking place where Penn is

Harvey: *in his flattest voice* what fresh hell is this

Me: yeah WTF

-Penguin has the chance to go save Ed (with whom he has had ISSUES) or to go wreak his revenge on Sofia...I’m betting he goes to save Ed. Make good choices dude

-GAH THEY SHOT JIM

-IS THIS THE FINAL SHOWDOWN WITH SOFIA?!

-YAASSS HARVEY STILL CARES ABOUT JIM AND WANTS TO PUT HIS HEALTH BEFORE EVERYTHING

AND JIM IS STILL A BRAVE SELF-SACRIFICING FOOL AND GETS SHOT AGAIN

AND SOFIA STALKING/FLOATING DOWN THE KITCHEN HALLWAY LIKE A DARK ANGEL OF DEATH

-LOL Victor and Headhunter fail in their mission AGAIN

Victor: can’t catch a break today. let’s go get a milkshake

BAHAHAHAHA

-AHH JEEZ SOFIA KEEPS SHOOTING JIM STAHP

-Sofia: beg me for mercy

Jim: GO TO HELL

YAASSS SOMETIMES JIM IS AN IDIOT BUT HE IS STILL FREAKING AWESOME

WAAAAIIITT OMG OMG OMG LEE JUST KILLED SOFIA SHE DID THAT

LEE YOU ROCK!!!!!

-Ed is so DONE with stupidity

-aaaannnnd I called it. Oswald ditches his revenge schemes to go save Ed

Oswald: trust is hard to find, but I trust you Ed

Ed: a horrible decision really

But for real though these two psychos are friends again and there are going to be hijinx upcoming you can be sure of that

Ed: I have a STRONG desire never to see this pier again

Oswald: SAME

-aww Harvey is sitting by Jim’s bedside...THE BROTP LIVES

-WIAT WHAT SOFIA IS IN A COMA SHE ISN’T DEAD?!?!!?! SHE HAD A BULLET IN THE BRAINPAN SQUISH! HOW

-I freaking love Harvey, telling Jim to get over himself and take the hard path of not confessing but keeping his job, living with his guilt, and working hard to save Gotham.

Harvey: it’s what this city needs

Me: that’s what Gotham needs right now, not a fallen hero, but a white knight...Bruce will cover the dark vigilante who works outside the parameters of the law for you

-Lee: *gets all vicious on a crook who freaking deserves it*

Me: good on you...but also...yikes

-um light is spilling out of Barbara, I’m gonna take a guess and say that isn’t good?

#gotham 4x15 #gotham spoilers #batcat is the most beautiful thing i have ever witnessed omg #lee thompkins did thaaaat!#harvey bullock and jim gordon are brotp again and i love it and victor zsasz is the best #bruce wayne #selina kyle #where was alfred though?#oswald and ed are partners in crime again #i love this show so freaking much #gotham season 4

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sueboohscorner · 8 years ago

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Jane the Hot Mess Mama: Chapter 58 #JaneTheVirgin

Jane the Hot Mess Mama Chapter 58

Rating: 6.5

Can we stop and praise the goddess that is Yael Grobglas? More and more, Grobglas’s Petra does the heavy lifting on JTV, breaking our hearts with her vulnerability and blowing our minds with her bad but hella entertaining choices. Even when the Solano-Villanueva clan seems like the most chill extended family ever, Petra and Jane are in a tug-o-war for our affections and Chapter 58 was a win for Petra, imho.

Jane and Rafael drop Mateo off with his new aide, Alex, who doesn’t want to know anything about Mateo’s history lest he have preconceived notions about the causes for Mateo’s behavior. Jane stops by the bulletin board to sign up for Room Mom, because the night before, Mateo stopped being DAMIEN FROM THE OMEN long enough to ask his mom to spend more time with him. Petra (my heart cheers whenever she is on screen!), who has been the BEST ROOM MOTHER IN THE HISTORY OF SCHOOLS for the past two years, assures Jane she doesn’t need any help. The head of the school suggests Jane and Petra be Co-Room Moms. Stevie Wonder can see this is not going to work, but they try.

On her way back to the Marbella, Petra stops at the Fairwick to see if Chuck’s forgiven her for pushing Scott’s bones on his property. He hasn’t.

Alex tells Jane that Mateo craves attention and the key to correcting his behavioral issues is rewarding his positive behaviors and ignoring the negative ones. He also tells Jane there’s a lice outbreak at the school. That night after Jane finishes checking Mateo for nits (ew, is that a thing you have to do when you have kids? I would literally shave my children bald to avoid that) Mateo grabs the scissors and cuts a huge chunk of Jane’s hair, so that Jane’s bob matches the undercut Gina Rodriguez is growing out in real life. (When did Jane cut her long hair? I want to see that story.) Jane screams on the inside, but she doesn’t reward Mateo’s negative behavior.

The next day at school the Seed of Rafael draw pictures of their moms. Mateo draws the lopsided hair cut he gave his mom, while the twins draw a dragon. Petra is stung.

Dennis the Cute Cop and his new partner who interrogates like Pee Wee Herman (Petra: Do I need a lawyer? Detective: I don’t know, do you? Gahhh!) confront Petra with Scott’s Burn Book. Petra manages to not incriminate herself, but the book is a missing page. Petra swears she doesn’t have it.

Xiomara seems to be having second thoughts about her engagement to Bruce and I really don’t care. Ok, Xiomara figures she’s never been in a stable relationship long enough to get to the boring part and that must be the case since she and Bruce are a healthy, boring couple. She invites Bruce out to play drunk pool, and even though they stay in to have drunk sex, Xiomara is still not happy. In fact, she looks like she has a bad case of gas for most of the episode. Remember when Petra’s mother threw Alba down the stairs and Xo promised God she wouldn’t have sex if Alba recovered and then every time Xo was in bed with Rogelio she saw Alba’s face? I want Xo to have that kind of madcap fun again! It’s like they’ve gotten rid of the superfluous characters—Darci, Magda, Anezka and Scott, and, now Bruce—but the ball’s still not rolling.

Rogelio takes Mateo out for matching Thai-silk lined bespoke suits for Ro’s defamation suit testimony. Ro asks Mateo if Xo is happy with Bruce, because, you know, four-year-olds know these things.

Jorge, the previously nameless guy at the Marbella gift shop that Alba has the hots for, is newly single. Xo helps Alba get her milkshake ready to bring all the boys to the yard. Ivonne Coll, who plays Alba, is a former Miss Puerto Rico and has legs for days, and I love that JTV gussied her up and let us see how beautiful she is. Alba pours herself into a skintight blue dress and is giving sultry realness when she walks into the Marbella gift shop to “pick up her check.” She’s slo-mo slinking in the place, but her false eyelash becomes unglued and she slips on spilled coffee and it’s hilarious! Alba’s humiliated and angry at Xo, but it works, Jorge asks her out.

Jane and Petra try Co-Room Momming, but it’s really Petra giving orders and Jane doing the grunt work. They have fundamental differences: Petra wants to hire help (like the Hair Bears to keep lice in check—Hair Bears, get it? hahah) and Jane wants more down to earth solutions. They tell the head of the school the Co-Room Mom idea is a bust, and suggest a run-off to teach the children about the democratic process, only “without Russian interference” Jane says. (I laughed, but, child, that ain’t funny. You know I’m right.)

Xo finds out Ro asked Matelio if she was happy with Bruce and chews Ro out. Oh, but there’s nothing to worry about. When Xo practices her testimony, it’s clear to Bruce and Rogelio she still in love with Ro. Xo and Bruce break up and, boom, reset.

Jane catches Petra plying the moms with chardonnay to win their votes. Petra and Jane begin picking at each other—Jane says if Petra weren’t such a perfectionist her daughters wouldn’t draw her as a dragon and Petra, WHO IS ABSOLUTELY RIGHT, tells Jane if she disciplined Mateo for five minutes he wouldn’t be such a holy terror. They have a debate fantasy, Jane’s sand vs Petra’s rubber mulch (#teamRubberMulch) and wine-guzzling mothers stare.

Ro assures Jane that Mateo could not care less if she’s room mom and a REALLY THRISTY RAFAEL tells Petra the whole dragon lady thing is a good because she protects everybody she loves. Jane and Petra realize they only wanted to be Room Mom because of their insecurities about parenting. They withdraw from the race and let Rafael be Room Dad. It’s not like he has anything else to do.

Jane works her new haircut (men like lopsided haircuts, trust me) and flirts with a barista. She doesn’t think she’s ready to date though because her grief group says she won’t be done grieving until she can tell the story of Michael’s death without crying. At a parent conference meeting with Alex, when she’s giving Alex the background on Mateo he didn’t want earlier, Jane TELLS THE STORY OF MICHAEL’S DEATH WITHOUT CRYING. How could you Jane? How. Could. You. Raf also tells Alex that he went to jail and Alex assures both of them that Mateo is in no way damaged by trauma, he’s just A BAD-ASS CHILD WHO NEEDS A SPANKING. (Ok, Alex said “normal childhood hyperactivity,” but you know what I mean.) Sooo, I guess Jane is ready to date.

I hope she finds somebody new because RAFAEL IS BUSY BONING PETRA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Petra had indeed ripped out the missing page from Scott’s burn book because it had some hurtful things Rafael’s dad said about him. Rafael gets misty-eyed at Petra’s thoughtfulness and then THEY GET NAKED!

I GIVE THIS EPISODE A 6.5. The .5 is for Ivonne Coll in that blue dress and then her eyelash-slapstick-pratfall. That was the zaniness I was looking for. The episode was also above average because PETRA AND RAFAEL BONED. I like how the JTV writers crushed #TeamRafael’s hopes. What kept this eppy from being great is NOTHING HAPPENED. The story didn’t move forward. Yeah, Jane is in a position to date, and Ro and Xo are free and clear to get together, but it still feel s like a set up and not a journey.

How many episodes are left? I take Salsa dancing lessons on Monday nights and I have to leave early to see JTV. Remember when Jane took Salsa lessons? Remember when…I won’t give up on JTV, but I miss the umph and zing I remember. Who is J.P.? WHY IS MATEO SO BAD? And can we have more Rogelio, please?

#Jane The Virgin #Gina Rodriguez #Yael Grobglas #Justin Baldoni #Christopher Allen #Ivonne Coll #Andrea Navedo #Richard Chavira #the cw #JaneTheVirgin

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