#harvey bullock and jim gordon are brotp again and i love it and victor zsasz is the best

[wearetakingthehobbitstogallifrey]

Gotham 4x15 (spoilers below)

-And we open with Martin, the adorably creepy lil child who will probably turn into a genius supervillain someday, considering with what a sweet smile he follows the instructions that will lead to the demise of his ugly captors.  I hope he lives long enough for that, because if there is one thing I don’t want to see on Gotham again it is the murder of a child *cries quietly thinking of Alex*  

And OMG it is Ed/the Riddler who just rescued him, “sent by Uncle Penguin” lol ALSO Ed is gonna take Martin out of ice cream that’s sweet.  I mean the kid probably needs therapy and a psych check but yes, he definitely should get some ice cream, Sofia tried to murder him once already

-Sidenote:  I love the Gotham skyline with the distant beautiful skyscrapers but if you look closer, at the darker buildings, shorter, uglier, with smoke and smog, you’ll see all manner of poor and broken things

-OMG so Samson just killed a man in front of his family and I am sOOO ready for Lee to somehow get back her power and absolutely destroy him (she looks so good in black...)

-WAIT I THOUGHT JIM AND HARVEY MADE UP IN THE LAST EPISODE WHY IS HARVEY ALL LIKE YEAH AFTER WE TAKE DOWN SOFIA I TAKE DOWN YOU??  (come on Gotham, why do you have to be so realistic as to make the healing process long and painful?  or wait, he just said, I will personally make sure you pay, so maybe he’ll just have Jim pay for all his alcohol therapy from now on?  please?  I need my cop brotp!)

-LOL SELINA BREAKING INTO WAYNE MANOR AND RUMMAGING THROUGH ALL HIS CANNED GOODS

Selina:  DUDE WHY DON’T YOU HAVE ANY FOOD

Bruce: ummm cause I was a jerk and kicked Alfred out for a few months and I lived on like takeout and club food and Alfred hasn’t had time to hit up a grocery store?

aww Selina wants to return the stuff she stole from the family whose patriarch Ivy turned into a miniature garden AND she doesn’t want to bother Barbara with it, because, yeah, like Barbara would care?  SO SHE GOES TO BRUCE INSTEAD!  AND HE DOESN’T LET HER DOWN OR CHASTISE HER OR ANYTHING HE JUST SEES SHE IS TRYING TO MAKE WHAT AMENDS SHE CAN AND HE IS LIKE GIVE ME LIKE FIVE SECONDS I’LL GET YOU SOME CASH AND HE GOES OFF AND SELINA JUST—SHE JUST SMILES!  BECAUSE BRUCE HAS HER BACK AND SHE HAS HIS!  THESE TWO! WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME!

-BAHAHAHAHA Oswald guessing the answer to the rhyme and then guessing the meaning of the answer a split second after, too late

mmhmm sweet old grandma in the candy store used to skin people and stuff like par for the course in Gotham good grief

-YAAAASSSSS VICTOR ZSASZ THE SASSY ASSASSIN IS BACK AND MAKING HILARIOUS HAND MOTIONS WHILE LOOKING QUITE UNIMPRESSED WITH SOFIA’S RAGE ISSUES

-so like Victor’s all cool with killing the Penguin off (and is gonna take a buddy along with him) but I still want to know what would happen if he ever found out Sofia was behind her dad’s death...

-GUYS CAN WE JUST GIVE A ROUND OF APPLAUSE OR SOMETHING FOR HARVEY BULLOCK, WHO HAS GOT A LOT OF ISSUES AND SOMETIMES SAYS HE IS A COWARD BUT THEN WALKS DOWN THE MIDDLE OF A HALLWAY TOWARD NOT ONE BUT TWO EXTREMELY DEADLY ASSASSINS POINTING A GUN AT THEM

“I DON’T KNOW WHY YOU TWO ARE HERE AND I DON’T CARE. WALK AWAY”  you’re a good man Harvey

-Victor: Harvey do yourself a favor and walk away, give us Penguin and live to get drunk another day, hmm?

LOL

BUT ALSO

HARVEY SAYS NAH

*sirens go off and Victor and whatshisname look mildly irritated at being interrupted*

Victor: it’s okay we’ll come back

-EXCUSE ME BRUCE AND SELINA ARE ON A DATE IN A STORE LOOKING FOR THAT STUFF SHE STOLE THIS IS AMAZING

Selina:  you’re different

Bruce:  *looks back at her, with a side smile*  HOW.  DO YOU LIKE IT.  DO YOU LIKE ME.  DID I GET HOTTER.  ARE YOU MORE IN LOVE WITH ME

I mean he didn’t say that exactly but that’s totally what he was thinking

Selina:  you’ve been the world’s greatest DOUCHEBAG but now...you’re nOt   (OK LIKE THE INFLECTION OF HER VOICE SHE IS SO FREAKING HAPPY TO KNOW THAT HE HASN’T REALLY TURNED INTO THE SPOILED BRATTY JERK SHE SAW AT THE BAR)

-OMG THESE FREAKING KIDS I LOVE THEM SO MUCH LOOK AT THEM ALMOST LITERALLY DANCING AROUND EACH OTHER FLIRTING AND BRUCE TRIES TO APOLOGIZE FOR BEING A GRADE A JERK AND SELINA IS LIKE SAVE IT *SMILES* YOU’LL PROBABLY BE A JERK AGAIN LATER AND SHE tOUCHES HIS chEEK with her HAND AND SLIDES IT ACROSS HIS SKIN ALL SEDUCTIVELY AND BRUCE IS ABSOLUTELY DONE FOR HE JUST SMILES AND SAYS I MISSED YOU TOO BUT HE IS INTERNALLY SCREAMING AND WILL NEVER STOP

Selina:  *messed up*

Bruce:  great

Selina:  YOU REMEMBER WHAT I SAID ABOUT BEING A DOUCHEBAG?!

-At this point, a brief, glorious fight ensues, in which Bruce and Selina beat up the bad guys and Selina CATCHES A GUY’S ARM WITH HER WHIP SAVING BRUCE FROM GETTING SHOT AND THEN BRUCE PUNCHES HIM OUT

Bruce: *destroys a guy and takes his stuff, also drops hundreds of dollars of cash on him* JUSTICE

-so Oswald and Ed are teaming back up which should mean for some fun times for some people and death times for other people...but Martin is safe so that’s good.  LOL and Ed gives his hat to Oswald to hold?  but Penguin does NOT have time for Ed’s explanations, come on Oswald, let Ed have his day

-ohhh dear I have a feeling that Ed/the Riddler is gonna be pulled back and forth between Lee and Oswald for the foreseeable future?  or are they going to team up to destroy Sofia?

-BAHAHAHAHAHAHA ED’S BACK UP PLAN TO LEE HELPING THEM IS TO PUT OSWALD IN ICE AND HAND HIM OVER TO SOFIA LIKE “A CHILLY TROJAN HORSE” OMG

Oswald:  HELL NO

-So Grundy...is living in tunnels under the city??  with...loads of candles?? ?

-Ed:  guess what I’M SMART AGAIN

LOL look Cory Michael Smith kills this role that’s all I have to say

-UM Ed pretty sure you’re about to get beat up by Butch Gilzean (so wait BUTCH is the one who likes atmospheric candles?!)

-some days I look at Oswald and I’m like....boi you’re short

-Lee:  *tries to work with Oswald and Ed to destroy Sofia*

Ed and Oswald: *disappear*

Lee:  *eyeroll* WHAT DRAMATIC IDIOTS I’VE GOTTA DO EVERYTHING mYSELF

-LOL I’VE MISSED HARVEY HAVE-SERIOUSLY COMPLAINING ABOUT JIM TO JIM

Harvey:  how did Nygma get in touch with penguin anyway

Jim:  I don’t know

Harvey:  nothing is ever easy with you is it.  It’s always like, find Lee and then she’ll point us to Ed and then we’ll find Penguin and he’ll tell us where to find Pen

-ALSO

RIGHT AFTER THIS

PENGUIN APPEARS (HE HAS NO MANNER OF LUCK AT ALL)

-OMG HARVEY “We’re looking for an Arkham escapee, about yea high, mommy complex” LOL

-honestly I’m kinda surprised that Oswald hasn’t had a heart attack yet the way he gets so worked up about stuff

-sooo Jim agrees to let Oswald go if he gives them information, and then he goes to shake his hand?  I mean, like they have this really bizarre not exactly a friendship thing...I guess it’s Oswald has always considered himself Jim’s friend (in whatever strange way that is) and Jim doesn’t consider Oswald a friend but he knows him well enough to use that to his advantage...and honestly they’ve helped each other out of enough scrapes

-but also Harvey is now the WE DON’T MAKE DEALS WITH THE DEVIL.  Which like I totally get and Penguin has proven himself to be a volatile, murderous element, but its weird to see Harvey so worked up about being a clean cop when he used to hobnob with crooks all the time...is it just because he had grown to respect Jim’s honor and goodness so much?  And when Jim fell off his pedestal, Harvey was destroyed by that?  And wants Jim to be better again? 

-Victor: *shows up*

Me:  you’re here to do bad things and impede the good guys but nevertheless I am so glad you are here

Victor:  do you need Penn?  is he important?  yes, that’s his yes face

Me:  *cracking up* I do indeed love you Victor

-LEE SAVES OSWALD  (in a dinky little car that all those bullets should have gone through like it was paper)

-Barbara’s having a few issues...resurrection will do that to you (I’m pretty sure she legit died earlier, has that been made clear yet? I don’t remember, but there was that thing with Ra’s...was it confirmed she was dipped in the Lazarus pit?

-how on earth is Ed gonna get out of this mess?  Oh he’s not. Oops

-Sofia:  kill Penguin!!  GET PENN!!!

Victor: yeah sooo Penn, Penguin, where are we priorities-wise? BAHAHAHAHAHA

-Penguin:  *goes off on one of his rants* you can’t freeze me yet!!!

Victor Fries:  ...don’t care

ICONIC

-I THOUGHT THE BATCAT SCENES COULDN’T GET ANY BETTER I WAS WRONG!!! So like Bruce and Selina are in Bruce’s kitchen, and Selina is just...fidgeting with the jewelry and Bruce is prepping ice for his bruises but then Selina asks him to return the jewelry for her because she feels so GUILTY and Bruce my beautiful wise understanding compassionate son tells her JUST what she needs to hear—that the guy’s death was NOT her fault!!!  HE IS SO QUIET AND KIND TO SELINA

Selina:  *hunched over the counter, darting quick looks at Bruce* (OMG SHE PROBABLY THINKS HE WILL BLAME HER TOO)

Bruce:  *looking handsome and serious in his black turtleneck* *leans over the counter and gazes at Selina*  you did NOT kill Roland Charles

Selina:  but...I was there...and what am I supposed to say—I stole your jewelry, I’m sorry?

Bruce:  sometimes that’s enough

AWWWWWWWW MY BEAUTIFUL PRECIOUS CHILDREN I’M SORRY I CAN’T I JUST LOVE THEM SO MUCH I MEAN JUST LOOK AT THEIR FACIAL EXPRESSIONS THROUHOUT THIS CAMREN AND DAVID ARE SUCH FREAKING GOOD ACTORS MY GOSH THE WAY BRUCE AND SELINA LOOK AT EACH OTHER WOW

-Sofia’s goon is torturing Ed yet the man still has not a single hair out of place like what kind of gel are you wearing again?? ?

-Ed: *RIDDLES AWAY*

Sofia:  TELL ME WHERE PENGUIN IS

Ed:  I AM TELLING YOU YOU’RE JUST TOO STUPID TO FIGURE IT OUT LOL

-Penguin rolls in all frozen in ice and Ed starts laughing OMG I GET IT OSWALD USED ED’S BACKUP PLAN AFTER ALL

-Victor Z:  *looks at Ed, then Penguin, then Sofia*  I’m not even gonna ask

-Jim and Harvey walk into the weird looking place where Penn is

Harvey:  *in his flattest voice* what fresh hell is this

Me: yeah WTF

-Penguin has the chance to go save Ed (with whom he has had ISSUES) or to go wreak his revenge on Sofia...I’m betting he goes to save Ed.  Make good choices dude

-GAH THEY SHOT JIM

-IS THIS THE FINAL SHOWDOWN WITH SOFIA?!

-YAASSS HARVEY STILL CARES ABOUT JIM AND WANTS TO PUT HIS HEALTH BEFORE EVERYTHING

AND JIM IS STILL A BRAVE SELF-SACRIFICING FOOL AND GETS SHOT AGAIN

AND SOFIA STALKING/FLOATING DOWN THE KITCHEN HALLWAY LIKE A DARK ANGEL OF DEATH

-LOL Victor and Headhunter fail in their mission AGAIN

Victor:  can’t catch a break today.  let’s go get a milkshake

BAHAHAHAHA

-AHH JEEZ SOFIA KEEPS SHOOTING JIM STAHP

-Sofia:  beg me for mercy

Jim:  GO TO HELL

YAASSS SOMETIMES JIM IS AN IDIOT BUT HE IS STILL FREAKING AWESOME

WAAAAIIITT OMG OMG OMG LEE JUST KILLED SOFIA SHE DID THAT

LEE YOU ROCK!!!!!

-Ed is so DONE with stupidity

-aaaannnnd I called it.  Oswald ditches his revenge schemes to go save Ed

Oswald:  trust is hard to find, but I trust you Ed

Ed: a horrible decision really

But for real though these two psychos are friends again and there are going to be hijinx upcoming you can be sure of that

Ed:  I have a STRONG desire never to see this pier again

Oswald: SAME

-aww Harvey is sitting by Jim’s bedside...THE BROTP LIVES

-WIAT WHAT SOFIA IS IN A COMA SHE ISN’T DEAD?!?!!?!  SHE HAD A BULLET IN THE BRAINPAN SQUISH!  HOW

-I freaking love Harvey, telling Jim to get over himself and take the hard path of not confessing but keeping his job, living with his guilt, and working hard to save Gotham.  

Harvey:  it’s what this city needs

Me:  that’s what Gotham needs right now, not a fallen hero, but a white knight...Bruce will cover the dark vigilante who works outside the parameters of the law for you

-Lee: *gets all vicious on a crook who freaking deserves it*

Me: good on you...but also...yikes

-um light is spilling out of Barbara, I’m gonna take a guess and say that isn’t good?