#Also I say “recently written” this has been sitting unfinished for a while now

[whathorselegs]

🌈

🌈 Share something soft/fluffy from your WIP.

This WIP is from my next chapter of Black Coffee and Chocolate Cake - For context, Chuuya has been turned into a small child thanks to an ability, so Gin is talking to child Chuuya here. They/Them pronouns for Gin.

--

“Sorry, for interruptin'.” He apologised quietly, pulling the door closer to himself, hiding in the shadow it cast.

At this reaction, Gin’s eyes widened, they knelt on the floor to be closer to Chuuya’s height, their mouth opening but then closing again. They cleared their throat, trying to rid themself of the lump that so often nestled in their throat.

“It’s alright.” They spoke almost too softly to hear, offering Chuuya a gentle smile. Chuuya looked away nervously, clearly not believing those words, so Gin tried again. “I just didn’t hear you at first, really, it’s okay.” 

To emphasise this, Gin held out their hand to Chuuya, beckoning him into the front room. With all the caution and curiosity of a fledgling crow, Chuuya slowly opened the door and crept closer to Gin. His eyes flicked between Gin, the mat and the music player behind them as he approached and stopped just in front of Gin without taking their hand. 

“Are you doin' yoga?” He asked with wide questioning eyes and when they nodded in answer, Chuuya added. "Ane-san tried to teach me once, but I couldn't keep still."

Gin giggled quietly, the fondness of a similar memory in their eyes.

Their conversation was interrupted by a loud gurgling noise and Chuuya reddened in embarrassment realising it was his own stomach. Gin's eyes widened in shock too before smiling again.

"Hungry?" They asked, lightly poking Chuuya's belly.

He nodded bashfully.

--

Black Coffee and Chocolate Cake Fic here

[nostradamus0]

17-18-19 pls! :D

oooh thank you! :)

these ones are a bit tricky since i've only actually posted one fic (and it's woefully unfinished) this year, because i've been super busy writing things that i never finish, so i'm going to interpret this liberally and include things i haven't technically finished yet, but are at least 50% written.

my favorite opening line that i've written this year! oof, i have no idea. after some pondering, i think it might be:

It has always been that 108 Mifflin Street is Henry’s home, and never truly felt like hers until he was there with her, scattering his toys across the living room and the plastic baby plates and bowls across the counter. Filling the bookshelves with board games and comic books, and covering the walls with the first photographs Regina had ever owned or taken. She learned to use a camera to capture his smile.

but i'm also incredibly fond of the first line in a very in-progress follow-up to a oneshot i wrote for supercorptober like, 2 years ago lol

Lena meets her son in the middle of the night on the last day of August, with flowers growing from her palms and the smell of house-fire smoke hanging heavy in the air. He’s four years old and terribly alone, and there’s drywall dust and white ash clinging to his hair like snow.

favorite ending line might be even harder, oh no. a lot of my favorite "ending" lines are technically the end of a fic, but they end sections or chapters, so they're kinda-but-not-totally ending lines if that makes sense? hmmmmmmm.

i really like this line that ends the first section of desire as round as peaches bloom in me all night:

(And if she’s fallen a little in love with Meredith, somewhere along the telephone wires between Seattle and L.A., well. It hardly matters now.)

but also this line from the sequel/alt. pov fic i've been writing to your voice is the splinter inside me:

This is the moment she knows there are memories she has lost. It feels like only moments ago that she watched that horrible yellow bug drive across the town line with the only people in the world who gave a damn about her, who trusted and believed there was something good in her heart. Purple smoke, crackling with magic, had swallowed the sky, and they were gone. After that, Regina can remember nothing but crushing grief.

for my favorite piece of dialogue, i almost chose a line from my recent meddison fic that i really like, but instead i have to go with this scene from the yvitsim sequel:

Regina hates that she cannot remember changing. But she knows she has, if only because Snow shows up, unannounced and uninvited, and rather than incinerate her on the spot, Regina puts the kettle on the stove and doesn’t insult her god-awful pastel sweater. She busies herself with readying two mugs while Snow sits at the counter and taps her fingers on the marble.  Eventually, Snow sighs, and after taking a long sip of the tea Regina offers her, she asks: “Do you think it’s odd that Emma and Henry are staying at Granny’s? There’s plenty of room at the loft.” There is not plenty of room at the loft, Regina thinks, but does not say. It has also occurred to her as odd, that Emma would prefer a sub-par bed and breakfast over her parents house, but felt it was none of her business, and kept her mouth shut. But now she looks at Snow, at the large swell of her belly and the hand she always seems to have resting there, and it doesn’t seem so odd anymore. Regina sighs. “Give her time, Snow,” she says simply, leaning against the counter. “She’s adjusting.” “Adjusting to what?” Snow asks, looking confused, and gods, Regina thinks. How can a fully cognizant adult be so oblivious? “You’re eight months pregnant, Snow,” she deadpans. Snow’s shoulders drop, and the expression on her face turns heavy and sad. For a moment, Regina fears Snow will start crying, and that she’ll have to do something truly horrifying like comfort her. Undo it undo it undo it her brain shouts at her, almost panicky.  “He kicks. In his sleep, Henry kicks,” she blurts out rather awkwardly. “Emma’s probably trying to avoid sharing a bed with him at the loft.” Snow smiles sadly at her, like she doesn’t believe a word of it, but appreciates the gesture nonetheless. Regina, suddenly incredibly uncomfortable, skin crawling with old, unwanted instincts to lash out, clears her throat and busies her hands with mixing her cup of tea.

this was VERY difficult, but very fun. thank you for the ask! :)

[spikybanana]

fic writer tag game

@to-proudly-go thank u for the tag pal <3<3 (I very definitely love your poetic angst & your art)

How many works do you have on ao3?

25 :) 15 for hp and 10 for star wars

What's your ao3 word count?

144,107!

What fandoms do you write for?

hp and star wars, though I've definitely brought the marauders fandom habits (delusional obsession w main character's dad and his best friends) straight to the prequels

What are your top five fics by kudos?

"trust" the inscription said (hp/wolfstar)

then he came home (hp/wolfstar)

don't let's die as heroes (hp/jegulily)

the prophecies spoke of you and I (sw/obikin) (which is also my most recent work, so it's crazy to me that it's up here)

slipped back in (hp/wolfstar)

Do you respond to comments?

I always do eventually!! even if it's the smallest comment I like to send a smiley face in reply. It's just that I might take forever coming up with what to say, especially for the super nice ones ;3;

What's the fic you write with the happiest ending?

hmm I'd say don't let's die as heroes for the marauders (literally turns 3 canonical funerals into a wedding) and Designation for obikin. & I usually write happy endings (minus canon fics) even if they're more "the future is uncertain but bright" rather than happily ever afters

Do you get hate on fics?

none so far! & they better not because if I do get hate I will cry

Do you write smut? What kind?

listen. listen. this is a whole Thing. as your neighbourhood ace, smut is like science fiction/horror to me. which is to say I have written both mlm and wlw sex scenes lol. it happens very rarely, but it has happened before & will happen again.

Do you write cross-overs?

I hope you know that I'm constantly thinking about how sirius/remus and anakin/obi-wan are homomorphic creatures and I really want them to meet. but also, so far, no. except if you count the wolfstar sw au sitting in the docs.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not afaik!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

not afaik either!

Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

I don't think so, but I would absolutely love to try

What's your all time favourite ship?

wolfstar and obikin are the same ship actually, so both. (unserious)

What's your WIP you like to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I read back on What You Will earlier today and scared myself so possibly that. (it's a jegulily parody of Shakespeare's twelfth night, and has already been rewritten from scratch twice, so maybe mayyybe there's a sign)

What are your writing strengths?

errrrr. occasionally poetic-ish description? I like writing pretty vibes. and occasionally punchy-feely stuff. where you stand above & survey a life through tiny poignant snippets far apart. quite a few of my fics are like that

What are your writing weaknesses?

so many. definitely more than I'm aware of too. I feel I'm awful at pacing & easily get bogged down in tiny details, which is why long fics have not worked out for me lol. It's also hard for characters to feel real to me, like I'd just stop in the middle of a story and think "my darling I do not understand you at all"

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I definitely love when I see them, but I've not tried it myself. it feels impossible to merge Mandarin and English in a way that feels natural (or write it down in English characters), even though come to think of it I do it with my brother all the time. huh.

First fandom you wrote for?

drarry! and I still wanna go back sometimes

Favourite fic you've ever written?

awh but I always like them better before they're words on the screen/on ao3. ideas are just pure vibes and potential yk? rather than a dozen annoying imperfections you're not good enough to fix. lol sorry, if I have to pick, Once Upon a Green Haze. it's unfinished & only has 3 chapters for now, but I like them.

I've seen this going around the dash for a while now, so open tag :)

[bestworstcase]

clearly the wonderland stuff has hit critical mass because it’s 6 AM and i’m lying here wide awake trying to line up thoughts in order of which ones i want to write out most except i keep bumping into more SO LIKE. send help i am losing my grip

- kernel of a thought i’ve been gnawing on for a while now that there’s a pattern to the wonderland allusion that i can’t quite put my finger on yet. but it’s like—there’s a sort of temporal wobbliness to what and when that feels like it might be something but also just continual swirling it all around D4, D6 and D7, looping in the aaiw stuff and the red queen by constructing new associations (the queen of hearts was the red king, the duchess’s baby becomes the jabberwalker, the cat leads to hatter leads to hatta, the caterpillar lives in the forest where ruby loses her ‘name’, the beach is the garden is the pool of tears is the island for hunting the snark (<- are the mice the bellman’s crew lol. what are they hunting) and like the connecting thread here is mirrored pairs, the tweedles and hatter/hatta and the immanent reflection of the self in mirror-written jabberwocky, with the cat emerging as both the cheshire cat and humpty dumpty to the jabberwalker’s poetry (<- which draws another circle around neo and the jabberwalker in that the cat belongs to the duchess and the duchess is fanatically concerned with meaning in a way that sits kitty-corner to humpty dumpty’s determination not to let denotative meaning get in his way) and then there’s this undergirding idea of ascension and like—never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them otherwise. the you you wanted to be when you were still you. it’s a matter of perspective, i’m afraid. & they want to get to the tree but can’t but the intertextual layer of the narrative has them oscillating back and forth between primarily D6 and D7; they are so close to winning the game but they can’t see the forest for the tree—and the tree functions like looking glass gardens and perhaps more saliently like the red queen, in that alice wants to meet the red queen but cannot find her until she turns about-face and walks away. (“her tree” huh.) (the blacksmith is the tree is the queen; all the ways about here belong to her and, of course, a cat can look at a king. or a queen.)

- the speaker, the subject, the jabberwock; the knight, jaune, the jabberwalker? (<- also occurring to me suddenly that the reason the only critters from the first stanza not present in the marketplace are the raths is, the duchess’s baby turns into a pig—and a rath is a sort of green pig—and neo is both lost and driven by wrath—and her constructs have recently gained the ability to outgribe.)

- in light of the jabberwalker being the story’s [unwritten, unfinished] ending i am feeling SOME TYPE OF WAY about specifically houston!worst day of my life bc like. man. “once upon a time/i knew who i was/some of it was true.” “i feel as if i’m caught between/what i say and what i mean” “could there be someone else to blame/for why it always feels the same/inside this woman i became” MAN.

- actually yeah no no more equivocating someone on the writing team saw this musical during the houston run. i don’t care who i don’t care to confirm i just know in my heart where all the brainworms live. what’s your title/what’s your purpose :)

- c o r n w i n k l e

- laughing hysterically forever about what this implies about ozlem OH YOU MEANT DIVORCED DIVORCED. LOL. LMAO

- ahem.

- wonderland—more precisely hunting of the snark—has a particular invocation of the rule of three (anything said thrice is true) and given the obvious fun rwby could have with an idea like that i’m wondering if we’ll see it repeated in the ever after in some capacity, whether as a literal narrative rule within the ever after or thematically. it occurs to me that it might have done already; “i am a huntress” is repeated thrice before crashing into ruby’s existential dread and uncertainty (<- the beaver loses count and mathematical panic ensues, which incidentally is also the part of the poem where the jubjub bird appears and, further incidentally for the bees people in the audience, is also the bonding moment in which the friendship between the butcher and the beaver becomes so homoerotic that there’s academic discourse about whether the beaver might actually be female, so make of that what you will.)

- the lively carpenter is not the blacksmith so Question Mark. the thing is the walrus and the carpenter is the tweedles’ poem so its inclusion fits the 4/6/7 focus and it connects to both the forest without names and the red king directly, and perhaps to the jabberwalker in the more roundabout sense that where jabberwocky is a poem about slaying a creature the walrus and the carpenter is about people behaving monstrously. who’s the carpenter and what are the oysters

[theflagscene]

Okay so I have a few messages in my inbox as well as comments on AO3 (which I will get to over there since I know not everyone has Tumblr or followers fic writers) and I didn’t want to reply to one or two anon messages explaining things and make that/those person/people feel like I’m like info dumping directly at them because they just happened to ask, that’s not fair. Also I didn’t want to reply to the non anon messages in private for the same reason, cause like, it’s a lot and a couple y’all just asked a simple question, it’s not your fault that the answer isn’t simple.

As for wether I am working on more chapters for Do I Ever Cross Your Mind, or is it abandoned? It is absolutely not abandoned, none of my fics are ever officially abandoned, even if I don’t update it for like months or even years (side eying a unfinished SPN fic I have from 3 years ago)

I am working on the fifth chapter of DIECYM, as well as all of my very late prompt fics and continuations and one shots, etc. Chapter five does take precedence obviously, so that’s the one I try to get the most done on as often as I can, I know waiting for a fic to update sucks, especially if you really enjoy it and I love hearing about people rereading it while they wait, it truly warms my cold lil heart. Also asking about updates never makes me feel pressured, I’ve mentioned this before, so please, never apologize for poking at me about possible updates or sneak peeks, etc.

Now to the info dumping, I’ll be frank and as blunt as possibly. A while ago I suffered a mental breakdown, some shit happened, it sucked and I couldn’t take it. I managed to power through a lot of it, I still wrote a ton, I actually wrote the first four chapters of DIECYM mid breakdown. Things have gotten worse recently, I am under psychiatric care and my support system is, I’d say pretty damn decent. Right now we’re just working on keeping me at home and out of the hospital, which is proving to be a difficult thing because to be completely honest, I’m not always this cognizant. I have a history of dangerous behaviour that we’re not looking for a repeat performance of tbh. And while all this is going on, I’m also looking for new housing as well as dealing with an chronically ill dog that needs to see a new veterinarian because her last one moved and I do not have the means to pay for that. It’s gonna cost me 100 dollars for the visit, 400 for the bloodwork and 180 for her medication. So nearly 700 dollars is needed for me to keep my dog well and that is basically my entire monthly income, I already use the food banks near me every couple of weeks to try and supplement the lack of groceries I’m able to obtain, but being a vegan, they don’t exactly have much that I can use. Which I know isn’t their fault, they help how they can with what they can and I’m grateful for their help every single day.

So between my dwindling mental health, heavy medication, housing stress, food shortage, money issues and an sick dog, I’ve been writing at a snail’s pace. I spend most of my days barely able to interact with people, online or irl. I mostly just sit, staring, my mother has more than once checked on me and thought I had just gone fully catatonic. I hadn’t, I can just focus very very deeply, like not even on the same plane of existence kind of deeply lol. Space cadet, that’s me! Point is, I physically can’t make myself write. Like the spirit is willing, but the body is weak. Oh, and I also might have fractured my left arm, so that also doesn’t make typing any easier. Just trying to get this all written out on my phone has been hell. I need to go to the doctor to get my arm scanned but I haven’t left the house in nearly 3 months at this point, so it’s like, yeah, just, ugh, not going great.

But to reiterate, none of my fics are abandoned, they are all going to get finished and are all currently being worked on. It’s just going to be way way slower than you’re used too, someone once commented to me that “the devil works fast but you work faster” lol. Well not anymore, the devil may win this time, my slow and steady tortoise progress will have to do for now 🐢🐢

I hope you can understand 🥰

[benji-the-crabb]

◌○◌○

Scrapped SSKK Fic

written 2023.05.18

This is unfinished and not proofread. Also quite old. I haven’t been very pleased with what I’ve been writing lately but I don’t want to leave my social medias blank so here you go!

⚠︎ suggestive warning ⚠︎

Since letting Atsushi stay with him, Akutagawa had been noticing some strange behaviors from his boyfriend in his sleep. He was never a still sleeper but, calling his name and harshly grabbing the pillows as they slept wasn’t normal. Akutagawa hardly got any sleep because of it, not that he slept much usually but it was inconvenient to say the least. The weirdest new behavior was what Atsushi was doing right then, while his lover was sitting on the bed, dressed for work and simply observing. Atsushi had his arms between his thighs and seemed to be pressing and rubbing himself on them. Akutagawa gently placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Weretiger.”

The white haired man slowly awoke and looked around, almost seeming disappointed until his eyes adjusted on his boyfriend. A harsh blush bled into his face.

“Akutagawa…”

“Must you always call me my last name?”

Atsushi grumbled and sat up sleepily, stretching as he listened to his black haired counterpart speak.

“But more importantly, you seem to be stressed recently.”

“W-what do you mean.”

“You’ve been doing strange things in your sleep, I can only assume you’re acting out your dreams.”

“Acting… them out?”

Atsushi’s voice peaked and he went completely red, making Akutagawa lean closer and gently feel his face.

“Maybe you should go to a doctor?”

“N-no! No, I’m fine really…”

Atsushi quickly pushed Akutagawa off the bed and walked him to the front door.

“You’ll be late for work, I love you, bye!”

He closed the door quickly, heavily breathing and flushed from what just happened. Has he seriously been acting out the dreams he was having? All he’d been dreaming about since moving in was having sex with Akutagawa. Nothing else just touching Akutagawa, always. Touching him, being touched by him, having his fingers inside of him, teasing him relentlessly. He had to slap his hands on his face to keep him from imagining it all over again.

Atsushi walked back to the bedroom, fixing up the bed and pulling out his clothes for the day. When he changed his underwear they were drenched because of his fantasy Akutagawa, when he pulled up his pants he thought of Akutagawa tossing them onto the floor, he buttoned his shirt while thinking of Akutagawa feeling him up through it. Just Akutagawa, Akutagawa, Akutagawa the entire morning, infesting his brain. He tried his best to ignore it all, ignore the heartbeat he could hear pounding in his head every time the same thought that had been tormenting him for a month came back. He sat down where his boyfriend had been sitting on the bed earlier and leaned against his pillow. He could smell him so vividly, he could tell exactly the time it had been since he left, what he used in the shower and to an extent what he had been feeling. There wasn’t a hint of sexual desire, unlike his own scent. Did he seriously have no interest in having sex with Atsushi? Just the scent of his boyfriend had Atsushi turned on so it was extremely disappointing if that was the case.

Just when he gave into his fantasies and reached for his belt buckle he heard the front door open and immediately sprang up from his spot, scrambling to occupy himself on his phone. Akutagawa walked back into his room - now belonging to him and Atsushi - like it was purly to restrict Atsushi from touching himself.

“Aku! Why are you back so soon?”

He tried sounding nice but it came out very choppy and a little annoyed.

“You pushed me out of the door without my coat.”

“Ohh�� did I?”

He just nodded and grabbed from the chair it was sprawled out on and observed Atsushi once again as he put it on.

“Are you sure you’re alright?”

“Yes, I’m fine. Swear.”

“Hm… Alright.”

He headed back out and once again left Atsushi alone with his thoughts.

The weretiger breathed in so deep it started to burn and slowly exhaled.

I’ll just pretend that none of that happened… He doesn’t even hug me, I don’t know why I’d expect him to do anything else. I wish he would though…

He let that sink in until he was too embarrassed to handle it and threw himself out of bed and stomped to the door, putting his shoes on and muttering about how he’d definitely bring it up with Akutagawa the next time they were home together.

The next time they’re home together:

Akutagawa came home late as usual, pulling off his coat and tossing it over the back of the couch before he sat down.

“Welcome home.”

Atsushi’s words were nice but came out anxiously, like he was holding something back. Akutagawa leaned in his direction curiously as Atsushi put his feet up on the couch and looked at his lover.

“Tell me honestly, are you attracted to me?”

“Yes… I am, would I be dating you if I wasn’t?”

Atsushi sighed in relief before continuing.

“So, having… sex…”

Akutagawa tilted his head.

“I want to sleep with you okay! But you hardly ever touch me and I want to know why!”

“That’s… If you’ve wanted this so bad then why didn’t you initiate something?”

“Well, I dunno… I thought you weren’t interested.”

“The reason I haven’t done much is that my body isn’t very capable of keeping up with physical excursion, so with my job mixed in, that kind of intamacy can be dangerous.”

Atsushi’s eyes widened and he blushed harshly, extremely embarrassed.

“I- I’m so sorry! I didn’t know it was something like that, if I did I wouldn’t have made a big deal about it…”

Akutagawa pulled himself on the couch and started unbuttoning his shirt, quickly slipping it off and causing Atsushi to blush even more and hide his face in his hands as if he was seeing something he shouldn’t be.

“A-akutagawa… what are you…?”

Tossing his shirt on the coffee table Akutagawa approached closer, blushing the smallest bit, too small for anyone unfamiliar with him to notice.

“Well, I didn’t do much today, a little movement won’t cause much harm.”

“Ah…?”

Atsushi couldn’t believe his eyes, he had only prepared for the absolute worst and had no clue what to do if this outcome ended up happening, he just slid down flat on his back and let the other man continue as he pleased.

Akutagawa slid his hands up Atsushi’s shirt and lightly kissed him once.

“And your concent?”

He made it seem more like an obligation than he should’ve but Atsushi was far from complaining.

“Akutagawa, let’s… have sex.”

Akutagawa nodded and kissed his lover deeply, making sure to feel around his mouth to summon moans as he fondled the skin under Atsushi’s shirt.

[queen-pathetic]

Fic Writer Interview

I was tagged by @s1utspeare ! I am surprised that people still remember that i write fics since i basically stopped in the later half of the year except for NaNoWriMo lmaoo. so i will do this. 

name/nicknames: Angie or ang 

fandoms: Aight so DMBJ. I write the most of that. And Winter Begonia, but WB is usually just smut. I did write for Squid Game for a bit but stopped since the fandom was too much. 

two shots?: if this like 2 chapter fics?? i dont normally write that, and i have been bad at reading other peoples fics for reasons i wont disclose here. 

most popular multi-chapter fic: its a squid game fic, please dont come for me. People knew this fic before they even know me so that says something. Puzzle Pieces. I will not be able to write anything close to the amount of hits this got. 

actual worst part of writing: um writing. i am not a writer never have been, but i wanted to write because there were some things that i wanted to draw but i could not do it with my current talent. so instead i wrote it. i never expected for people to like what i wrote. so it takes a lot for me to share my work because im so scared of it not getting hits (aka why i stopped writing recently)

how you choose your titles: i stare at the blank “title” box on ao3 and cry for like 5 mins and then write something random. sometimes it loops back to the story, or its stupid and makes no sense. 

do you outline?: no. i literally write like a stream of consciousness. no thoughts. i only outlined for my nanowrimo fic since it was a daunting 50k that needed to open and close within those words. if its a multi fic with no clear ending i dont care. if its a one shot it means i already have an ending so i keep it 10k. 

ideas you probably won’t get around to, but wouldn’t it be nice?: no not that i know of. i had for a while wanted to do a idol AU for heihua but i suck at AUs so thats not happening. (it would be idol/bodyguard or even opera singer/bodyguard). 

i want to finish my current heihua fic but i dried up with ideas so it has been sitting unfinished for quite some time. I am not goof with very technically elements of stories (tombs) so i made a mistake by doing that two times in one story. 

callouts @ me: get over the fear of writing and comparing myself to everyone else. im a horrible friend and i dont read fics my friends write because i compare myself to their fics. i know im not a good writer so when i see my friends write masterpieces and get more hits i kind of wonder why do i even try. 

probably also saying im not a good writer, but i know im not lol even if people try and convince me. so i guess i got a lot to work on for now im just not gonna update until i feel comfortable with my product.

best writing traits: ...i just roasted myself for like 300 words so idk if i have good writing traits. oh only smut. i think im good at writing smut, which is weird since i dont do anything in my own life. its been a while since i have written actually but i think my porn without plots normally are good since i focus less on the plot. 

i also do a lot of heihua slow burn.  aka enemies to lovers. 

spicy tangential opinion: dont ask me for opinions... doubt what i say will mean anything. 

Tagging anyone who wants to do it. i dont have many writer friends (maybe i do idk) so i dont wanna tag people 

[tuiyla]

I’ve been thinking recently about how perfect season 1 Santana’s behavior matches with her sexuality storyline, yet she wasn’t even being written as a lesbian yet. It was probably the best accident to happen on the show IMO because fans picked up on it beyond the interactions with Brittany, and then Naya pushing the storyline forward was even better. Specifically after she sleeps with Finn, and the way she sits very cold and seemingly disconnected from her current situation, almost in a dissociated state I might say, which might’ve been her tactic when it came to sleeping with men since she clearly had no joy when it came to it. Makes me sad and also a bit uncomfortable to think about, because it comes off as dubious and weird, since it was coming from comphet and clearly not something she really wanted to do but I digress. But back to her with Finn, she deflects from the situation making a comment about wanting a burger. It’s just so perfect and I can’t believe it was by accident. Then the stuff with Puck; she’s got an on and off thing with him, is okay breaking up with him because of his shitty credit score (lol) and treats him as a boy toy that she’s keeping around for fun. She gets possessive when he shows interest in Mercedes, and I think because he was her safety net, meaning she could hold him around like a doll saying “look! I have a guy!” should anyone question her.. sexuality.. and when she saw that going away she got freaked out and went after him. Besides that, she also only uses him for popularity, making it so clear she couldn’t care less about him romantically. The signs were all there.. This is just an appreciation message for how well it turned out, and how even when she wasn’t explicitly being written as a lesbian it still worked so so well with her journey. Sorry, did not expect to type that much, guess that’s what happens when I talk about Santana, lol, but I’d love to maybe hear some of your thoughts on this?

Okay Anon so first things first, I need you to understand how much I love this and love you for sharing with me. I also need you to know that I have so, so many thoughts on this and I sadly won’t be able to pour them all out in response to this. BUT, your ask did bump a planned meta up on my list of to-dos so let’s say I’ll get back to you within, uhh, a week? Hopefully. But just to illustrate that I’m not bullshitting you, here’s a screenshot I took of my reddit drafts and then uploaded to drive:

Yeah, October. It’s been at least that long since basically everything you mentioned has been living rent free in my mind. I love you because this is exactly the motivation I needed to get this out into the world so really, I’m on it. It’s second (okay, third) on my list of fandom priorities so fingers crossed that does mean about a week.

But anyway, all that aside I do want to reflect on this at least briefly, even though you just summarized a lot of the things I want to elaborate on in this first half of the planned meta haha. Wholeheartedly agree with your observations aside, I think you’re so right that it was the best accident. Because while it is important to acknowledge that none of this was intentional in season 1, that doesn’t mean it isn’t there. It lines up so perfectly it drives me a little insane to think about, tbh. Who cares about authorial intent when Santana’s interactions with Finn and Puck in season 1 scream comphet. I don’t know what writing gods blessed Glee with Santana’s story retroactively making so much sense but RIB are lucky bastards that’s for sure. And are we reading into it, sure, but does it make sense? Yes, yes it does. And I’m willing to dig.

So yes, thank you very much, don’t ever apologize for writing such accurate things about Santana haha and I’m making this promise right now that I’ll finish this cursed draft just for you. Well, and for my own sake too, one less unfinished draft.

[mcfiddlestan]

Fic Writer Questions

I'm bored and this was in a note on my phone from forever ago, so I must have been tagged at some point. Apologies to whoever tagged me. 🥴

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

52. Though, I used to have a few more. I deleted a few fics some years ago bc I hated that they were just sitting there unfinished. I was going through a particularly brutal bout of writer's block that affected both my fic writing and my RP writing.

2) What's your total AO3 word count?

720,782. And I was stressing about a 30-page thesis. 😂 (which ended up being over 15,000 words)

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

I started writing fic in 2000 with *NSYNC, Christina Aguilera, and Backstreet Boys fics. I stopped writing a bit around 2004-2007 (because of a stupid boy) and picked it up again in 2012 after reading some awesome Cherik fics and wanting to write my own FrostIron College AU when I read one that was good, but kind of disturbing. I think I write for one fandom -- Marvel -- but, like different factions of it. FrostIron and WinterFrost mostly, with a dash of Stucky, ThunderFrost, DashingFrost, and WinterIron.

4) What are your Top 5 fics by kudos?

Black Light Special (WinterFrost) - 628 kudos

Can I Bum A Ride? (WinterFrost) - 425 kudos

Empire State of Mind (FrostIrom) - 420 kudos

Dark Side (FrostIron) - 398 kudos

A Worthy Collection (FrostIron) - 309 kudos

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I really do make an effort to respond to every single comment, even the not-so-nice ones. I want people to know I've seen and read the comment they took the time to post, so even if I just thank them for reading and commenting, I respond.

6) What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Considering it features two -- count 'em, two! -- major character deaths, it's definitely Empire State of Mind. Though, I'd argue Dark Side is a pretty close second.

7) What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

Probably Ghosts That We Knew. It was the final fic in the trilogy that is the Picture Perfect Series. It follows Loki and Tony from when they meet in college and ends 30+ years later.

8) Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you've written?

No, not really. And I rarely, if ever, read them. There's no real reason behind it other than I've just never come upon one and thought "ooh I need to read that."

9) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yes. I got a lot of hateful messages after I completed Empire State of Mind. People were really angry at me for killing off two major characters. I mean, a lot of the messages were "omg I hate you but I loved this!" kind of vibe. But there were a few that cussed me out and called me names for writing it.

I had some chapters of a Fools Rush In FrostIron AU posted a while ago, in which Loki was a female, the only daughter in both the Odinson and Laufeyson families. Following the storyline of the Matthew Perry/Salma Hayek movie, Loki meets Tony Stark in a bar and gets pregnant from a one night stand. Anyway, I got a lot of messages telling me that Odin's misogyny and mistreatment of Loki was unrealistic -- even though I had literally modeled his behavior after the movie that inspired it. 🤷🏽

I have some prompts done for the 100 Ways to Say ILY writer's block challenge and for one of them, I borrowed the storyline from an episode of Will & Grace when Will's father dies of a heart attack after they have a bad argument where his father basically admits he wished Will wasn't gay so he could have had an easier life. In the epsiode, the fight starts because Will's parents gift his baby blanket to Grace, who is pregnant with her ex-husband's child. Will takes offense, they don't understand why bc he never mentioned wanting children, and a fight ensues. Similarly, in my fic, Frigga and Odin offer a pregnant Natasha (his BFF) Loki's blanket. Some readers did not like this and did not understand why I would write it. In another prompt, one that was literally how my last relationship ended, got some harsh critiques. Those ones hurt especially bc it was such a personal experience I wrote about.

And I actually got into a fight -- like a screaming match -- IRL with my best friend's boyfriend at the time. One of my bestie's friends asked about my fanfiction and I gave them the gist of one of my stories where Loki has a brief relationship with Sif that results in a child and later reconnects with Tony. Later on, Sif offers to be a surrogate for Tony and Loki and eventually births three more children for them. Bestie's boyfriend could not fathom why a woman would purposely get herself impregnated and then give the child away. I tried to explain that this was a thing that a lot of women did IRL -- and some don't even use their own eggs, but the eggs of a woman who cannot conceive; Sif used her own eggs so that all four children were half related (two by Loki, two by Tony). But he just did not believe me and told me I must not be a very good writer. Worst night of my life.

10) Do you write smut?

I was just telling @teadrinkingwolfgirl the other night how when I first started writing fic I did not write sex scenes. It was always inferred or glossed over. When I started writing again in 2012, for FrostIron, it was my first time writing more detailed sex. I cite Jackie Collins as my smut-writing mentor. I've written almost exclusively M/M smut.

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! Which is like the best thing ever! A couple of my older fics have been translated to Russian. I have one *NSYNC fic that was made into an audio fic. And someone recently messaged me on ff*net to ask to translate as many of my fics as they can to Spanish. :D

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, not technically. I've gotten a lot of prompts and ideas from friends and mutuals, and I started reformatting my WinterFrost RP with my ex from 2014-2015 into novel form a while ago. That's tecnically the only thing I've written with someone else and published.

14) What's your all time favorite ship?

I have two that will always, ALWAYS, have my heart and attention. FrostIron (Tony Stark/Loki) and WinterFrost (Bucky Barnes/Loki). They are the two ships that I write the most, read the most, and seek out fanart for the most.

15) What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

Probably The Flame. It's a fic that starts out ThunderFrost (not related; Asgardian Prince Thor semi-rescues an imprisoned Jotun Prince Loki) but eventually ends up FrostIron. It's the only fic I've ever written that features Loki with both male and female biology. I have a few chapters done but I haven't worked on it in years.

16) What are your writing strengths?

I like to think I write realistic relationships. And I think my dialogue is also realistic and easy to grasp. And I put a lot of humor in between all the angst and hurt.

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

I think I get too detailed with background. I just reread my Picture Perfect series (which I do like once a year), and there are literal paragraphs of background that in Google Docs is like pages and pages. But I want to make sure people understand my characters! LOL

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I'm a big fan of it. I featured a lot of Norwegian in the Picture Perfect series. And French. I think as long as it flows with the storytelling and it's not forced on the characters it can be really cool. It should be natural. I always leave a translation list at the end of the chapter or explain in-text what was said. Which I think most authors I've read do.

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

The Backstreet Boys. LOL. Don't judge. I started writing my own fics after discovering BSB fanfiction written by an author named Mistress Lynz. She wrote a lot of fics about bloodletting, but I really enjoyed the fics where the guys were hooking up with each other behind the scenes, LOL explains why I write mostly M/M now. 😂

20) What's your favorite fic you've written?

They're kind of like my babies so at different times different ones are my faves. But if I really had to pick one, I would say Stay With Me is my favorite. I got some of the most amazing comments on this story from people that found meaning and themes in the story that I didn't even realize I'd put in there. It was one of my first WinterFrost fics I'd posted and the response was more than I could have asked for.

And now I have to tag people! @teadrinkingwolfgirl @incredifishface @incubigirl @rabentochter @marvelswinterfrost and whoever else feels up to it.

xoxo

[honkytonkdyke]

i have been tagged by THREE people in this game so far, thank you so much for the tag: @hanamuri, @fullmetalscullyy, and @roseofbattles!! ily all so much 

How many works do you have on AO3?: 29 total! 6 MCU fics, 22 FMA fics, and 1 JJBA! 

What’s your total AO3 word count? 113,736! holy wow that’s a lot of words

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? 

on the brink of discovery: this is a multi-chap about roy and riza trying (and failing) to hide their relationship after going back to work after the promised day. a team mustang/royai fic. 

to heal: this one is co-authored by @priscilla-dm. coincidentally, it’s another multi-chap fic that explores post-promised day roy, but this one explores his goal to heal riza once and for all, and also through his relationship with mei chang, he uncovers his xingese ancestry. this one is my longest fic on ao3, currently sitting at 6 chapters. 

free me tenderly: an ironstrange fic i wrote for the 2020 ironstrange bingo. it’s a 1920s au where stephen is a medical businessman who can’t practice medicine anymore because of an injury in the war, and after a business meeting with tony, his status in the company and his relationship with his father changes forever. 

a little bit of care: a royai hurt/comfort oneshot fic where riza has issues washing her hair after the promised day, and roy has to help her. 

dim lights, thick smoke: named after an old bluegrass song, this fic is about jean and roy and explores the effect lust ultimately had on havoc, before and after he realized she was a hommunculus. 

Do you reply to comments, why or why not? I do! Most of the time it takes me a while to get to them though, just because I read them and stare at them for a long time in disbelief before I can actually process it and respond. I love getting comments, they keep me going LOL

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? probably warmth, my riza hawkeye character study about her relationship with her mother. i don’t write angsty endings a lot because my heart just can’t take it lmaoo

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending? probably on the brink of discovery, that fic is just pure team mustang shenanigans and i love the ending scene a lot. there’s a lot of joy in that fic, and it’s one of my favorites. i don’t write unhappy endings a lot though, so this was a hard choice. 

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? i’ve found in more recent years i can’t write explicit smut or full out smut, just small scenes that are more focused on the emotions behind the actions. i can hardly write sexually charged things anymore so i typically don’t write smut (i’m saying this as i’m actively trying to write a non-explicit fic about roy and riza rn LOLOL)

Have you ever had a fic stolen? thankfully not! 

Have you ever had a fic translated? i haven’t as of yet! 

Have you ever co-written a fic before? yes! previously mentioned to heal is written with my dear friend @priscilla-dm. 

What’s your all time favorite ship? that is EASILY riza and roy, aka royai 

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? there are a lot of unfinished fics in my docs right now LOL so there’s no telling. i don’t have any solo fics that are actively unfinished on ao3 either at the moment.

What are your writing strengths? i think my dialogue is pretty strong, as well as my grammar and syntax. 

What are your writing weaknesses? anything in first person. i am so insecure about writing in first person that i RARELY do it, unless i’m actively trying to practice it. 

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? I’ve never written dialogue in another language, so I can’t say I have any actual thoughts. But if I do, I want the language to be accurate and properly used in whatever sentence it is being used in. 

What was the first fandom you wrote for? pokemon! i was the tender young age of 10 when i started writing fanfic LMAOO

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written? right now, borrowed time. it took a lot out of me to write but i genuinely am so proud of that fic. it means a lot to me :)

i’m tagging: @firewoodfigs, @klainelynch, and @megthemighty! and of course, anyone who wants to do it is more than welcome 

[jbbuckybarnes]

We need to talk...

I knew that this topic of interactions will come up again, because it has never been talked all the way through, so I had this drafted for a while. So much of this old draft still resonated with this permanently unfinished discussion that I just had to edit it and post it, because I feel like it has to be said and put into one post. We can’t keep starting this conversation and then make it so dramatic that there is no conclusion or compromise. The only reason this time is more mellow is because people have better standards for this stuff due to a pandemic going on. This is written for the MCU fandom, but I’ve seen this go down in different fandoms, so here we go:

Things that are NOT at fault for readers not interacting:

The Readers. Should be clear after asking them again and again. And nothing changing. The readers at large are not at fault for a couple people being demanding or hateful. Neither are they at fault for this website and other social medias automatically putting writers at a disadvantage. They do their best with the time they have in their life (just like writers). And after asking them over months to try and reblog more and not much changing, it should be obvious that it isn’t where the problem lies. At least not 95% of it. NOW:

Things that ARE at fault for readers not interacting:

Pushing them, thinking they owe you stuff, while you tear other writers down saying that nobody owes them stuff. That happens time and time again. To me, to friends, to writers I check in with. Don't expect community to come to you when you don't come to them.

Not putting anon asks off when demands and hate get too much. It’s literally THAT easy when people get nasty. It’s sad for the nice anons, but they will understand. Save your mental health! Save the mental health of people reading that hate on their dash. I don’t know how many people constantly answering to hate I have unfollowed and I’m sure people have unfollowed me for doing the same.

Ego and hypocrisy. You can't say numbers aren't a problem and then say they are. In the same post. AND then also deny it later in some of the cases we’ve seen in recent months. Yes, that happened. In several fandoms where this topic comes up semi-regularly. And that might also be the reason people are tired of this stuff and speak out against it.

The fact Tumblr is only used approximately twice a year by most people. And has a shitty tag system. And a shitty algorithm. You are at an automatic disadvantage.

The fact some of you can't understand that 3-5% of your following interacting is a good and normal rate on pretty much all social media. The bigger you get in followers, the bigger the gap gets between followers and interaction (and demand and hate). There are literal statistics on that. 1% interaction at 10k is still good for a platform you have no power over!

The fact some of the people here call anons *haters* for pointing out that you interact w the same 10 people, making that speace seem excluding, when it's literally true what those people say!? Nothing wrong with only support the same 10 people on your blog, but then don't say that you practice what you preach (cause you don’t). You can’t demand more interaction when you don’t interact more yourself. That is how it works, for anyone, not just people of a certain follower count. If I reblog more fics, my blog gets more clout. Logical conclusion. Works for everyone. You have no time for that? Then don’t expect more back. It’s called SOCIAL media for a damn reason.

Telling people asking for Tumblr advice to interact more to make new friends but being the most defensive/indifferent person once they talk to you in DMs. Yes, that keeps happening and I know it from either my own experience or from others sharing their experiences with me. It’s kinda sad. It’s more of a minor factor in people not interacting, but I’ve seen it enough to mention it.

Making shitposts and personal posts all day and then saying you don't have the time in your life to interact w peoples' writings. Like, drabbles exist on almost anyone's masterlist. 5 minute read, easy support for a writer that might be losing motivation. Not every work has to be written like a novel to be great as hell or “quality proven.”

Oh, and there hasn't been a MCU movie in a while, making most of our readership probably currently not care about the fandom as much. Especially after Endgame ended up being a total opinion splitter.

Bonus: The misunderstanding that pushing shy readers to interact does the exact opposite. Not to start about the fact that we are in the middle of a pandemic at the moment. That means they may not have time to read and you may not have time to write. Normal. Logical. The same reason lots of people currently don’t publish. Don’t expect anything predictable and controlable out of current times.

Bonus: Check how you connect interactions to self worth and worth/fun of your writing hobby. Define what success means for you in this space, otherwise you will never be satisfied. It won’t matter if a post has 1k reblogs, you’ll always want more, because you chase an infinite metric.

Bonus: Maybe take a month to concentrate on community, getting outside of your bubble that you deny but very likely have (I’m not excluding myself from this), and actually improve interactions. Some people seem to have forgotten that when you interact with other writers, they probably interact back. Surprise! Your followers already know your tried and true fanfic friends, they want some new stuff without searching for it. Basic Marketing knowledge, know what your audience wants. If you do this for the interactions you gotta look at it from a marketing standpoint and not a pure passion standpoint. Oh: And maybe they find you interacting in the notes of someone else’s post and become an active follower. Win-Win-Win situation.

Bonus: Community is a loop, a net of interactions. Some people here have clique behavior, sound defensive and/or simply don't practice what they preach. That is not me or anyone else hating on specific blogs (I’m also no complete exception), it’s people trying to tell you that you can’t ask for shit you don’t practice yourself. Nothing wrong with supporting your friends only, but then don’t go around expecting new people to find your stuff. It’s literally THAT simple. You can’t have both!

Bonus: Ignoring some of the ride or die readers that are already there. Some of the people on here wish they had that and it’s deadass taken it for granted by some. Meanwhile I'm sitting here with Serotonin levels like christmas when someone I know reblogs my stuff and my fic gets some clout. Imma repeat myself: If you do it for the numbers, you gotta look at it more like marketing and less like pure passion.

And again: You are on a social media platform that will always put you at a disatvantage. That is not the readers' fault. It's how social media works at this point. If you want as much interaction as you can without putting in more interaction work yourself, simply share your works on here, AO3 and Wattpad simultaneously. Problem solved.

Bottomline: If you want more love on your work you gotta go beyond what you currently do, since it’s clearly not working for you. Reblog stuff from people you don't know. I don't give a sh*t if it's a 5k or a 100 follower blog. Hell, there is the whole 366 reblog challenge and some of you deadass went on reblogging the same people when that’s not really what this was made for. I, personally, haven't run out of new people to reblog, so this shouldn't be hard. Actually take time to talk to people in DM's, it takes 10 minutes in the evening to write a few people a message asking how they are or sending a cute gif. If you want stuff, you have to give it. Not leave it. People have come to me before, telling me "the community doesn't owe you stuff", no, they don't, but they do owe if they wanna be owed something back or even demand to be owed something back. Community is about back and forth. You give, you get. It's work, cause it's a big hobby. If you don't have time, that's cool, but then don't be sad about lower interaction. It’s logical that low activity from you leads to low activity from others in the long run, unless you do something worldshakingly new. You don't wanna look beyond a circle of friends or your go-to writers much? That's fine, but don't be upset about barely new people interacting cause they feel excluded or simply don’t find your work because of the same people seeing the same people reblogging the same works. What's not fine is not seeing how readers are NOT THE PROBLEM.

I haven’t talked to a single person about this that DIDN’T find the posts surrounding it demanding and completely ignoring the arguments some others had...repeatedly. Every single time it came up. Not just once but time and time again, whenever this topic comes up. You want interaction? Interact. You don’t want hate? Don’t give it a platform. As harsh as that sounds, I’ve never felt better on this platform since I put anon asks off, even when I miss the nice anons. They probably understand. PS: Again, this was written a while ago and edited to fit into a more general context now. I hope people can discuss this in a civil, non-judgmental way, because that is how I tried to write this. This is not again a specific person or group, it’s pinpointing what I see repeating for two years on this platform now, in all corners. I’d also like to mention that we are still in a pandemic and lives have never looked so vastly different, so you can’t demand anything normal in this very not normal time. Even if you do it all right, your interactions dropped in the pandemic cause people likely stay away form this platform for mental health reasons. There is so many layers to look at, these clearly aren’t all, but I hope it makes some people think about what and when they complain. Numbers will never satisfy you, they will always leave you wanting more if you don’t know why you do what you do and for what. Anyway: Be nice to each other and me in the notes in case this gets shared! No drama please! Ignore any grammar and typo mistakes, lol. Love ya!

[sienna-writes]

On the Border of Blinking | update 2

more poems ! yay :)

Writing poetry is so comparatively stress free than my other projects right now - so I can confirm that this anthology continues to be a joy to write! I am absolutely loving how it is coming along and it feels more naturalistic than my previous collection. There are hints of weirdness here and there because I’m Weird, nice to meet you - but overall it feels a lot more grounded and I love it! I think I hid, to a certain extent, my personal experiences behind a lot of nonsensical images previously so this feels more honest, a bit more scary... and also braver :)) [Having said that, nothing against my old poems I still really love some of them but I was definitely still finding my footing and experimenting so some were pretty messy. and that’s okay !! without the mess, the ‘mistakes’, etc, i wouldn’t have gotten to this current collection :) ].

One thing I'm noticing is that for an anthology i wanted to be about living presently, moment to moment, blink to blink — it's incredibly ?? nostalgic ? :")

it's definitely becoming a trend that i cannot stick to the concept i commit to but i'm honestly not too concerned about it at this point. I'm very proud of how it's shaping up to be and so glad that I'm still able to write poetry while my unfinished short stories and novel collect dust. [will get around to them ... am just ... so tired ......]

cw: abuse (only for the first one and not in depth)

the poems;

witness, weary

I wrote this the morning after a particularly ... heated night in my family and it explores the fatigue of living in an environment that can be violent at times, where you are gaslit, terrified and caught in the midst of it all, feeling trapped. It explores, in a paradoxically ~quiet~ (muted maybe ?? i am a writer but can't words) tone, the denial that follows afterward. How it is played down if you have the courage to bring it up again, or more realistically, ignored entirely and left un-talked about. How it hurts less if you pretend it didn't happen. It is gentle to mirror a house becoming still after its storm and people occupying less space when they are hurting, so as not to cause a bigger scene.

these are the moments i held my breath

this one is relatively self explanatory ! the most memorable moments I have held my breath in my life lmao :”) and then i cheated and added another in where I probably should have been holding my breath but was young and stupid and panicking and Did Not. 

infinite

i love this poem so, so much. It is honestly just a bunch of "maybes" that developed into something that just indescribably ✨aches✨ whenever i revisit it. I doubt anyone would feel that same ache, but it's cathartic for me at least. I don't think I had a plan going into this, it just spiralled out of me and then with editing it has become a new fav of the anthology. The lines all rely on each other, so above is the first line :) ^

I sat in the park and imagined

So this poem is about standing on the moon and imagining, clearly. :D

lol

i was sitting. in a park. imagining: hey what if a bomb exploded right now? and then started to write a poem about that situation. I kind of like it! It is unlike anything I've written before, and I'm learning to accept that kind of scenario as a positive. It was more comedic than i thought it would be, but then again my humour is often incredibly unfunny to everyone but myself and close friends so idK man. it's an amusing read to me. :")

unholdable

an incredibly short poem ! for me anyway ! I never thought I'd be able to write a poem under 500 words in the last anthology. (there were some big bois). then when writing this collection I was like huh ok my poems are pretty varied yay, and then b o o m this one was a mere 97 words and the lowest until then that i had written was 233. I think it's a good sign - I'm becoming a more economical writer and saying what I crucially want to say without diluting the meaning. also, it shows I'm experimenting more with structure and form and im ✨always✨ down for that.

measurements

human insignificance through the lens of blue whale facts !! no I'm not kidding :) yes that is genuinely this poem :)) pls end me :D <3

i jest, yet unironically love this concept even if im not ✨fully✨ comfortable with the execution yet. It's almost there it just needs some final tweaking I think.

snatched

a haiku about a deer eating grass in a graveyard in the snow :) cus that's a thing i witnessed and it was eerily beautiful :) and haiku's are a beautiful form :)

conclusion;

it's going ! good ! I could share lines this time because i am not yet submitting these poems. i plan to with some but again, I've only recently written them so haven't gotten around to it yet :"D not looking forward to it ahah submitting is painful and takes me way longer than it should.

tag list (ask to be added/removed!):

@alicewestwater @elaz-ivero @coffeeandcalligraphy @hanwatchingmovies @chloeswords @nev-953 @justahufflepuffnerd @writerschronicles @august-iswriting @jennawritesstories @jaydewritesfiction @avakrahn @chewingthescenery

[carmensandiego-dreams-collection]

I completely forgot to say anything about Mystère au bout du monde, the most Game I’ve ever sat through. My full review of it below the cut:

-Everyone in the older Carmen fandom has said that this game is the worst, so naturally I had to go see for myself -It’s a sort-of reboot of Treasures of Knowledge but all the changes it’s made are bad, if it were a movie it’d be a direct-to-video sequel that you’d find in a walmart bargain bin -Shadow Hawkins is now Adam Shadow, and is now an asshole weirdo

-There’s a scene in the Louvre where he’s told not to touch anything and he IMMEDIATELY goes to pick up an ancient statue barehanded because he thinks it’s broken. The museum curator yells at him and tells him it was discovered in that state. It was the only funny joke in the game

-Jules picks Adam on purpose to be her partner but does nothing but rag on him the whole game. She’s also weirdly abrasive at times

-Neither of them are all that likeable in this, to be perfectly honest. Treasures had awkward moments, sure, but Jules and Hawkins were still fun and their rapport with other characters was interesting, especially with Jules and Carmen. This had absolutely none of that, everyone’s an asshole for some reason

-Everyone’s outfit/hair/aesthetics just......sucks shit, there is no nice way of putting it. Like I made fun of Jules’ character design a while ago but there’s MORE you guys, there’s more

-The plaid turtleneck. The JC Penny statement necklace. The high heeled leather boots. The skinny jeans. The hair. The clownishly proportioned women’s jacket. God.

-What the fuck is going on with this shirt??? the sleeves????

-I have a new drawing challenge that I’m proposing right now: take ANY outfit from this game and try to redesign it to be good.

-Some of the art looks unfinished, too, like nobody inked it properly and they just rushed sketches out to ship with the game

-It’s a personal gripe, but IDK why every reboot/reference to TOK feels like it needs to make Jules pointedly not-butch? CS2019 is light-years ahead of this game but it’s sort of guilty too

-Wow Shadow, your partner looks GNC af

-I think the only game that doesn’t do this is Hidden Drums?

-Adam’s outfits are better, but they’re still kinda bland.

-They took away all of his pockets. Fuck you. I hate you

-Shadow needs to look like a 7 year old boy that was allowed to dress himself at all times, you can’t do this, game

-The artstyle in general is also super awkward, the expressions look awful. A collection my favorites:

-There’s this weird love square going on?????? There’s no development for it, but it’s there regardless:

There’s this weird redditor/incel-type guy working in the lab who gives off Viktor from Despicable Me vibes. He constantly flirts with Jules but Jules isn’t into him, and he’s also relentlessly passive-aggressive towards Adam and hazes him because he probably thinks Adam is a Chad because Jules likes him more

Adam also constantly makes passes at Jules but she’s also not that into it, except when she is?? Half the time she brushes him off, but then she’ll turn around and flirt with him. I think the writers were trying to do that thing where a woman plays “hard to get”, except no woman ever has acted like that

I guarantee this was written by men

People call Jules and Adam up and they’re like “haha don’t get too distracted by each other you lovebirds” but they’ve only know each other for like two days max, what are they talking about

You think this shit is over, but then Carmen shows up in the ring with a steel chair and is like “Oh Jules, I find Adam attractive as well, oh hohoho! :3″ and you have to sit there and take it

I’m not really one to have strong feelings about “ships” either way, but honestly the aggressive attempt to remove the personal connection Jules and Carmen had in the first game and redirect it to be a fight over some Bland Dude is an act of homophobia, I’m sorry fjkdsl;afd

Thankfully none of this goes anywhere, but it’s uncomfortable nonetheless

- Carmen is barely in this game for some reason? The first time we see her in at least 20-30 minutes into the playthrough

-There also.... hints of racism? Like, all of the non-white people are sort of unhelpful, and there’s a moment where Carmen steals a mask from a Maasai Tribe and one dude sees her doing it, and instead of stopping her he’s like “her willpower and coat of red fire hypnotized me, so I came her to warn you instead”

- :/ idk man

-anyway, it turns out that all the items Carmen has been stealing are embedded with...microchips? And that when put together they lead to....atlantis??

-like, the honest to god atlantis

-ACME finally puts all the chips together and find the map, but then Carmen hacks in and get the map

-They race to an island that I guess does have the doorway to Atlantis, but right as Adam is about to catch Carmen, Jules falls off a cliff and has to be rescued

- To imply that this is a tense moment, rather than play intense music or have additional art with dialogue, the game instead flashes between these two images as fast as possible in dead silence

-Then, instead of addressing that the game just implied that Atlantis exists in this world, the game ends before we actually get to see Carmen, or even if there’s anything on the island

-After all is said and done, this game was entertaining to watch. I love bad media so much, although it’s a piss-poor game if you actually want something good about the characters. I’m hoping the recent show will spur HMH/Netflix to maaaaybe make another game, although who knows.

-A big thank you to fycarmensandiego for posting the walkthrough on youtube, I’m not sure if I could have sat through this on my own. If you like Carmen stuff, or would like to play this game yourself, you can check out their blog here on tumblr, they’ve done a lot of neat archival and emulation work!

[pain-somnia]

tread over the contours of you and me

fandom: naruto pairing: sasusaku rating: M (here is your nsfr warning as it contains smut. the first part of this is safe but letting you all know now so that you may remain halal; i’m posting this during a time for me it would be but i know some people are not able to) Day’s notes: hello! this fic was written for a giveaway winner that is also a patron of mine. the giveaway was for non patrons to be able to win a chance to receive some exclusive PDFs or a patron to select a prompt. it’s been a really long time since i received the prompt but i wasn’t in the right health and only recently was able to give it proper attention. the winner has encouraged me to share this with everyone so here it is a couple of weeks after patrons received their early access to it. It falls into my blank period au series of fics. you can find some of them in this link. it contains one of the oneshots and also links to other one shots. another one-shot that fits with this one is my fic It Started With Rain which actually happened to be commissioned like a year ago by the winner and can be found in all of my fic sites. I hope you enjoy 😊

tread over the contours of you and me

Sakura sighed and rolled her neck. She cupped her shoulders at the base of her nape and pulsed a bit of healing chakra.

She was spending too many evenings at her desk looking over the data for the children in the institute. The caregivers were very thorough with their reports and while that relieved her it was also more work for her to get through every day.

It was only a year and a half since she had opened up the institute and while she was no longer in the experimental stage of the program, everything could still be hectic. The hardest part had been finding the caregivers and doctors for the children—people that understood that they weren’t treating soldiers.

The research and paperwork that she had poured over had been atrociously lacking, not only for children but adults as well. It was disgustingly obvious that the only insight to mental health that Konoha had was in the use of torture and interrogation. With Ino’s help, the two of them picked apart all of the data until they could find anything useful.

Luck was on Sakura’s side that the Yamanaka clan already had an understanding of how the mind operated. Due to the nature of their family jutsu and the young age of which their shinobi clansmen trained, there was a foundation she had to work with.

Speaking of the Yamanaka family jutsu, Ino was insistently sending her messages to go home. Her voice wheedled in Sakura’s mind and nagged at her.

A hot bath, warm food, and her bed sounded lovely. She knew that all she needed was to head home and her mom would have all three ready for her.

Locking the stacks of unfinished documents into a cabinet, Sakura began her nightly clean up routine. For the past year she used to stay holed up in her office until everything was completed but due to the person sleeping on her office’s couch at the moment, Sakura had stopped working overnight.

Stifling a giggle, Sakura crouched down on her toes and brushed Sasuke’s hair out of his face. He had grown out his forelocks into bangs that fell over his rinnegan and while the look suited him, sometimes she missed seeing his face in full.

Sasuke had taken to sleeping in her office, complaining that there was always some sort of disturbance at his apartment. She had teased him about it, stating that he just missed her. He hadn’t replied to her verbally, but chose to show her how much he missed her once they got back to his apartment.

Blinking his eyes, Sasuke woke up the second time Sakura ran her fingers through his hair. The corners of his mouth twitched upwards and he sat up, pulling his legs back from over the arm of the loveseat.

“Are you going to walk me home, Sasuke-kun?” Sakura asked, continuing to run her fingers along his hair, scratching lightly at his scalp.

Sitting up, Sasuke stretched his arm over his head. “You’re not coming over?”

Heat traveled up the back of her neck and she cleared her throat in discomfort. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. It’s late and I’m still in trouble with Mama from last time I accidentally slept over. You know how she is about premarital relations━don’t you laugh at me!”

Sasuke turned his head away from her but his shoulders slightly shook, giving himself away. He had walked her home and sat with her as her mother lectured her and Sakura insisted that she had fallen asleep while working on paperwork. Haruno Mebuki hadn’t bought the story.

“Come here,” Sasuke asked softly, patting the space between his legs. Sakura shrugged off her lab coat and let it fall to the floor before settling on the couch between his legs. She laid back so her back was against his chest and her legs laid across the cushions. Sasuke’s leg closest to the edge slipped off the couch to accommodate her.

“Kakashi sent a scroll for you,” Sakura told him as he settled his chin on her shoulder and wrapped his arm around her waist. “He figured out your hiding spot.”

“Not really a hiding spot. Where else would I be?”

“Right…” Her voice trailed softly as her cheeks bloomed with heat.

Sasuke had been back home for months and Sakura still wasn’t used to him speaking to her or of her in such a way. It was one thing for her to just know that he enjoyed her presence and took comfort in it by his actions, it was another when he voiced it out loud and confirmed it.

The words were never direct but her heart translated them into a different phrase.

Taking her right wrist, Sasuke rolled it in a circular fashion, stretching the joint and pressing his thumb along the inside, massaging the flesh there.

“You wrote a lot today.” His voice was low against her ear, his breath warm and causing her to shiver. Sakura hummed and nodded, not trusting her words, as he continued to trail his fingers up her arm.

Sasuke stroked at her skin until he reached the back of her nape and he cupped Sakura’s neck and massaged it with his strong fingers. He rolled the base of her neck in his hand and Sakura felt the warm sensation of chakra pulsing from his hand and soothing out the knots as he continued to add pressure with his thumb and fingers down her shoulders.

“You’re getting better at that,” Sakura moaned in relief. “You’ve been studying.”

“Just a bit.”

Sakura didn’t need to see his face to know there was a smirk on it; she could hear the smug undertones in his voice. It filled her with joy when pieces of the young Sasuke revealed themselves in this older version of him.

“Turn around.” The order was whispered but it beat loudly in Sakura’s chest right next to her heart.

Sex still felt new, despite the two of them getting into it whenever the opportunity presented itself. Sasuke’s voice, husky and desperate in her ear, caused her as much nerves as it thrilled her. They were still learning what made the other tick, what touches were more desired.

She decided that she liked the way she felt in Sasuke’s hand. His skin was deliciously warm and the friction from calluses and scars from the nicks from holding shuriken created a pleasant sensation when his hands roved over her soft skin.

He pushed into the flesh of her back, soothing her muscles with his thumb and kneading with his fingers.

“That would be easier if my shirt was off.” Sakura licked her lips and hoped Sasuke took the hint. “And much easier if I was lying on my stomach.”

“Since when have I ever done things the easy way?”

Sakura whimpered when he removed his hand from under her sleeveless top, missing the heat that radiated from his palm. Sasuke took hold of her chin with his thumb and index finger and tilted her face up so he could press an open mouthed kiss to her lips. When he tried to pull away Sakura pressed forward, straddling his lap and wrapping her arms around his neck.

Her skirt bunched up around her hips and Sasuke’s hand went to her left thigh and caressed the flesh there. Sakura hummed in delight as the soreness from standing all day for observations drifted away with his soothing touch.

She yelped when his hand slid between her legs and he began to massage a new ache. Her hands tightened their grip on his hair and she rocked her hips against his hand.

They had never done something like this anywhere outside of his apartment. Their intimate moments were limited to the walls of Sasuke’s new home and that had been just fine with them until an annoyance kept ringing at the door.

Naruto had been late in discovering their relationship. He had whined because he felt that they had owed it to him to let him know when they had finally gotten together because he was their best friend. He had not been happy to find out that Sai and Ino had known before him.

“I told you first about Hinata!” He had whined to Sakura and Sakura didn’t have the heart to tell him that it didn’t count because if he hadn’t shared his feelings with her then he probably wouldn’t have gotten a chance to be married.

It wasn’t the same for her and Sasuke. Naruto’s interference was likely to impede any progress in their relationship. He would have kept trying to get involved and would have interfered with their alone time.

“What are you doing?” Sasuke asked as she dipped her hands inside his waistband. He quirked an eyebrow up in amusement as she began to stroke him.

“Doing some massaging of my own.”

Sasuke groaned in distaste, sliding down the couch so that he was lying on his back. “That was really bad.”

“And yet you’re still hard,” Sakura snapped, tugging down his pants to free his member.

“Your cheesiness has no effect on what your hands are doing.” Sasuke’s lips curled upward as Sakura increased the tightness of her hold and the speed of her strokes. “You’re getting better at that. Have you been studying?”

“Shut up!” Sakura burst into a peal of laughter at his teasing. “Are we really doing this in my office?”

“Say the word, I’ll do just about anything to you on this couch.” Sasuke gritted his teeth, stopping a moan from escaping. “Especially if you keep that up.”

“Give you a handjob and you lose all sense of shame, huh?” Sasuke narrowed his eyes at her as he reached between her legs again and then pinched her clit. Sakura jumped a little, squeaking from the shock.

“I’m not the one getting wet from giving a handjob.”

“Oh, that has nothing to do with this.” Sakura dropped her hold on him and tugged her top over her head and off. Reaching behind her, she unhooked her bra. “You’re the one that was using a medical technique to try and seduce me.”

Sasuke shrugged but the smirk remained on his face as Sakura shimmied out of her panties. Without bothering to take off her skirt she straddled his hips again, settling his cock between her folds. She rolled her hips, sliding over him in just the right way that it hit her clit as she grinded against him.

Usually Sasuke was enough stimulation for her, but there was something about pressing him into the couch of her office that had her blood pumping faster. Perhaps it was the thought that he couldn’t wait to touch her and to be touched in return that he didn’t care that they were on a cramped sofa.

Leaning closer so that her chest was flush against his, Sakura licked up the line of Sasuke’s throat before sucking his lower lip into her mouth. She felt him shiver under her hands as her tongue stroked the space behind his teeth.

“I love you, Sasuke-kun,” Sakura murmured, smiling softly as Sasuke’s cheeks were dusted pink in his flustered state.

Sakura felt a pull around her navel and then found herself flat on her back, Sasuke looming over her. He had switched their places without warning.

“Sasuke-kun!” She scolded him for his use of his Rinnegan during foreplay, but he ignored her in favor of pressing kisses to her sternum and laving at her small, pert breasts as he slid off her skirt. Rolling her eyes, Sakura pulled at the hem of his shirt and tugged it off of his body.

Sasuke took her hand in his and pressed it flat over the breast he wasn’t attending to with his affections. He molded his hand over hers to stimulate her hand into moving, silently asking her to massage her own breast. Once Sakura got the hint, Sasuke dipped his hand between their bodies and slipped his fingers between her thighs once again.

That’s how it was with him. He barely spoke aloud the words that would express his feelings, but he spoke it with his actions and hid it in other statements.

Younger Sakura would have demanded a clear proclamation of his love, for him to declare it in a way the world would know of it. Nineteen year old Sakura though, had twenty year old Sasuke desperate and determined to have her climbing the highest peaks of pleasure he could give her, displaying a vulnerability she was the only person privy to.

“No.” Sakura shook her head, her voice trembling, and pulled Sasuke’s face away from the hip he was sucking on. “Not today. I want you closer. Now.”

Close. No matter how flush against each other they were, it never felt close enough. Unlike Sasuke, Sakura didn’t have Sharingan in order to always carry perfect memories of him with her.

She needed him to burn the memory of him on her skin with his hot fingers. Needed to feel him hot and slick against her, speaking a language only known to two of them. Needed to tattoo his love for her with every scorching touch of his.

As amazing as it was to watch him from above, all flustered and bothered and eyes pleading for her to relieve him of his want, Sakura prefered him like this. Sasuke would angle their hips, lifting her bottom to meet his thrusts and then loom over her, caging her head in between his forearm and the remainder of his left arm. Pushing her down, his body was a comforting and welcome weight.

Her fingers splayed against his shoulder blades, Sakura felt him move above her, thrusting and muscles flexing. Her finger pads felt the coarse lines of scars littered on his skin. She traced them as Sasuke pounded her into her office’s couch and she cried out incoherent words of gratitude that none of the old wounds kept them from having their current moment.

Sasuke exhaled a laugh against the crook of her neck as she came down from her high. “Did you just thank me for your orgasm?”

“No!” Sakura’s face grew even hotter and she slapped Sasuke against his chest. He just continued to laugh silently as his hips moved against hers.

“Just a bit more and I’ll be thanking you too,” he teased her, gripping her hip tightly as he grinded deep within her.

Sakura covered her face with her hands, trying to hide from the embarrassment. The action had Sasuke stilling his hips and moving her hands away from her face. He interlocked his fingers with her left hand and pressed his forehead to hers.

“Don’t hide from me,” he muttered, red eyes boring into hers. His tomo swirled as a particularly rough thrust in the new angle had Sakura tensing and crying out for more. Sakura wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him close for a kiss, swallowing his moan as he spilled inside of her.

Sasuke collapsed against her and Sakura’s left leg dropped so that it was dangling off of the couch. Sakura’s fingers sank into his thick hair and she massaged his scalp, her nails drawing curlicues.

“How did I end up being the only one that actually got fully naked again?” Sakura grumbled as Sasuke tucked himself back into his pants, barely moving his body away from her. “How do you keep doing that?”

Sasuke simply shrugged and nuzzled closer to her, crushing her chest to his. They lay like that, listening to the way the clock on the office wall clicked the seconds in tandem with their heartbeats. Sakura knew she had already pushed past the acceptable time to return home without her mother assuming she and Sasuke were playing house.

“I want to wake up with you again.” Sasuke’s voice was low but his breath fanned against Sakura’s neck and shoulder.

“Yeah?” Sakura breathed out the question, feeling the way Sasuke nodded his head against her shoulder. “I love you too, Sasuke-kun.”

He didn’t protest the way she had stated her love as if it was a response to his own. Sakura’s chest grew warm at the way Sasuke wrapped his arm around her and held her closer.

Someday, Sakura thought as she pressed a kiss to Sasuke’s temple. Someday I’ll have all the mornings with you.

[shyanlibrary]

hello!!! what are your favorite fics??

Nonnie, what a question...

Let’s keep it short, top 10 under the cut:

1. The Chain by Lafayette1777

Rated: Not Rated (T) | Chapters: 6/6 | Complete | Word Count: 14,073

Summary: Do you not know how love works?

Shane and Ryan, in transition.

Commentary: Christ almighty, this will forever be my favorite fanfic in the entire world and I mean it. I’m someone who has been in many fandoms for more than 15 years now and let me tell you something, I have never felt so much as I have with this story. Because it’s just so incredible well written and the characters are just what drives everything in it! The imagery, the feeling of it, each dialogue, all of this fic is wonderful and I’m in love with it. PLEASE read it if you haven’t.

2.  can’t take you home to mother (that’s what i like about it) by redmaynes

Rated: E | Chapters: 7/8 | Ongoing | Word Count: 20428

Summary: “I still hate you, you know that?” Ryan gasped out after they finally broke for air, and he roughly shoved Shane back on the mattress to make quick work of the button of his jeans, and smirked when he heard Shane curse under his breath when he pulled down the zipper slowly, agonizingly.

“The feeling’s mutual, baby,” Shane said through gritted teeth.

“Don’t call me baby.”

Commentary: Fun fact: this was the first fic I read, and I did because I wanted to read smut and I was looking forward to know how this fandom expressed that kind of intimacy between these two, and I was hit by one of the most interesting scenarios put together for this kind of AU, good plot and great characterization. I adore this fic, I’ll go to hell and back for this fic. It’s wonderful and.. how to explain it? Just plain ol’ good, man.

3. Perfect Fit by moliuoli

Rated: E | One-shot | Complete | Word Count: Unkown

Summary: There’s a legend that says anyone able to take all of statue Shane’s cock will summon the god to the mortal realm. Given the statue’s excessive size, no one has ever succeeded to prove or disprove the story.Until Ryan that is.

Commentary: When it comes to original AUs and situations, this fandom never disappoints. Look at this fic in particular, it’s a fun exploration of college life and loneliness in the most freakin’ horny way and that’s why I loooove it and re-read it pretty often. My favorite from the author, too, and she’s a writer I really like. This fic is work of art, a classic in the fandom, just incredible.

4. Let the Sunshine Burn Your Eyes by YogurtTime

Rated: E | One-shot | Complete | Word Count: 6,577

Summary: An innocent man of taste and leisure, Ricky Goldsworth, just wants to check into his hotel room, but gets into an altercation with the concierge while a mysterious gentleman in expensive-looking clothes watches nearby.

Commentary: The only RG persona fic I like! I’m not ashamed to say I’ve read this fic more times than I have sat down to actually write something in years, lmao. Okay, so-- this masterpiece always puts me in a mood, in that mood that makes you grab a glass of wine, sip, stare into nothing and say “oh my”. I LOVE IT. I know I’m saying this about all fics in this list but lololol, it’s true. The writing in this is magical and transports you to another world, to the world the author wants you to see in this text and it makes you wonder everything about these characters and smile at the end. This, also-- has my favorite ending in a fic like this. Just. Oh my.

5. I would like that by Crimsonflowerz

Rated: T | One-shot | Complete | Word Count: 3,994

Summary: The third person who knew Ryan was trans was the ghost that haunted his apartment.

Commentary: This fic, oh-- I think about this fic and Shane in this fic a lot, actually. I always loved his character in this and I loved how much we knew of Ryan, his life and his feelings in it, because it let us wonder with him about Shane and his spirit, his life before being a ghost, and well-- you have to read to understand, this is one of the best fics in the fandom and it has one of the happiest and most hopeful endings and boy oh boy, am I a lover of happy ending. Read this beauty, I re-read it recently because my main fandom and its company broke my heart and my spirit last December, and this was the only thing that got me to stop crying over the way I was mocked by the male white creators of said main fandom. Life saving story.

6. ready if it happens with you by sarcasticfishes 

Rated: E | One-shot | Complete | Word Count:4,319

Summary: It’s not a thing. Ryan’s just a little… touch-starved. Intimacy-starved.

Shane passes behind him when he’s sitting at his desk, idly touches Ryan’s shoulder, thumb brushing the curve of his neck — and goosebumps erupt down the length of Ryan’s arms.

Commentary: A beauty! I said to the author, who is a good friend, that I was really honored this fic has my name as one of the persons it was dedicated to, because my man believe me when I say this is a fucking beauty and it’s one of my favorite smuts and getting together fics in the fandom. I’ve thought of that scene in the dark so many times, of the way it’s written and described, and every and each action is driven by pure feelings and it’s just so gorgeous. You gotta read it.

7. You Are on the Fastest Available Route by InkStainsOnMyHands

Rated: T | One-shot | Complete | Word Count: 2,362

Summary: "It’s in the light.“

[Based on the Local 58 YouTube Series]

Commentary: The night I read this fic, I couldn’t sleep. It made me feel uneasy, made me think of it for days, and I still think of it. Often find myself wanting to re-read it and I wish I could live again that first moment when I read it. Once, when I was in a meeting, I filled a page of my moleskine with the summary of this fic, and kept thinking of Ryan hudding Shane as the light came, of him looking up, of the road in front of them, the hints that something was amiss. What a genius story.

8. We Went To An Orgy And We Didn’t Have Sex (well…kind of…) by iris_rise

Rated: Not Rated (M) | Chapters: 4/? | Abandoned | Word Count: 11,045  

Summary: They met at a bar that afternoon before filming started. Liquid courage, Ryan had called it. “Or a surefire way to a pair o’ whiskey dicks,” Shane quipped back, giving him a playful smile, and Ryan knew he was totally screwed.ORShane and Ryan agree to film a one-off Buzzfeed documentary-type show, ‘We Went To An Orgy and We Didn’t Have Sex’, in which they attend a sex party and try to keep their hands off one another.

Commentary: I know what you guys are thinking about the title of this, but believe me when I say this fic is WONDERFUL. It’s such a gorgeous work with so much soul, and I would never really be reccing an unfinished work that is likely abandoned by now if it wasn’t THAT good. Soooo, let me tell you about the atmosphere this have, it has such a powerful spirit, it makes me cry that I will likely not know how it would have gone. Mother of GOD, this is perfect. Also one of my favorite interpretations of dom!Shane.

9. we are breathing river water by undeadapocalypse

Rated: M | One-shot | Complete | Word Count: 4,503

Summary:  Shane thought, through the kisses and the feeling of Ryan’s skin all over his, too much but not enough, I will not.

Between the light ending up off and the clumsy hands in a dark room, the floorboards that hide secrets despite not being theirs, he thought to himself, I will not fall in love with him.

The tabernacle reconstructed.He falls in love with him.or: a fic based off of “litany in which certain things are crossed out”

Commentary: Richard Siken is my favorite poet out there and when I found this fic and saw it was based on my favorite poem, I almost died right there. And to my delight, it was an excellent fic and even now, many reads later, it’s still an amazing fic with a beautiful ending that haunts me in the best of ways. Every part of this fic, the images of it, the parts were you can feel the poem in it, all of it, I love it with all my heart. Read it. It’s beautiful.

10.  I live alone in a paradise (that makes me think of two) by Ros_ora_sal

Rated: Not Rated (T) | Chapters: 4/4 | Complete | Word Count:  26,971

Summary: Ryan and Shane get stuck in a haunted house together.

Commentary: Oh, this fic. Oh this fic and its brutal plot filled with mystery, hope and even a few scares. Man, do I love this fic. Something I adore of this fandom is its more dark or weird stories, and this one hit me in the face with how good it was, really a gorgeous addition to our fandom. The story and the way its written has stayed with me ever since I read it, and I promise you it will stay with you too.

[greasers-stole-my-social-life]

Get Back//Darry x Reader//Modern AU

Prompt: After y/n and her boyfriend, Darry, take a break, Darry tries to win her back with advice from his brothers and friends.

A/N: I randomly had an idea to write this and thought it was really cute! It’s been awhile since I’ve written, so bare with me! I hope y’all enjoy!!

T/W: A little bit of yelling and a little bit of swearing, but for the most part, it’s pretty darn fluffy!!

Y/n lays awake staring at the ceiling, waiting for her boyfriend to come home. She’s been thinking of ways to surprise him, and after months of planning, she decided that he would probably prefer just a simple night in. She made him and his brothers some dinner, cleaned the house with some help from their friends, and planned on watching TV with him in the living room and staying the night. But the dinner soon got cold, the dishes piled up, and y/n got tired of waiting in the living room, so she waited in his bedroom instead. 

It’s safe to say that they have been distant recently with y/n’s new job and the extra hours that Darry took on at work so that he could make rent this month. It wasn’t anyone’s fault--they both knew that--but the distance was definitely taking a toll on their relationship. Sometimes, she would come over after work to see him but he wouldn’t be home, and sometimes, he would stop by her place but she wouldn’t be home. They’d call each other when they would get the chance, but one of them would either be at work or falling asleep on the other end of the phone due to the exhaustion of working all day. They hated to admit it, but they were beginning to have doubts about being in a relationship. They loved each other, but maybe the timing just was not right.

Just as y/n’s eyes begin to grow heavy, Darry opens his bedroom door, slightly jumping at the sight of his beautiful girlfriend in his bed. “Hi, baby,” y/n chirps, sitting up with a smile. “Hi, y/n,” he smiles briefly, walking over to her and pecking her on the lips. As Darry goes into his dresser to change into some sweats and a tank top, y/n gets up and wraps her arms around his torso, kissing him on his neck. He tenses up and removes her arms from him before turning to face her. “I’m not in the mood. I’ve had a long day, and I just wanna sleep,” he states curtly, turning back around to close the drawer. Trying to make the best of the situation, y/n smiles and wonders, “I take it you’ve had a rough day?” “Mhm,” Darry mumbles, kicking off his worn out boots. Y/n eyes her boyfriend and carefully thinks of what to say, but she knows that when he’s had a rough day, he couldn’t care less for small talk. 

With her feelings somewhat hurt, y/n finally asks the question she’s been dreading, “Are we okay?” Darry sighs deeply, softening his sore muscles and allowing his arms to hang at his sides, his clean clothes still in hand. He slowly turns to face her and looks down at the floor as he quietly confesses, “I don’t know, babe.” Tears well up in y/n’s eyes, but she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t expecting him to answer so unsure. She sniffles, and quickly wipes away tears that now flow, smearing her once perfectly done makeup. “Well, alright then, I think I’m just gonna head home,” y/n murmurs before leaving Darry’s room. He stands up to follow her, but lets her go. It’s better this way.

-a month later-

The Curtis house was in its worst shape yet, and that was saying a lot. Even after Mr. and Mrs. Curtis passed away, Darry made sure to keep up with house maintenance, but his break up with y/n messed up any sense of a schedule that he once had. His brothers try to help as best as they can, but Sodapop and Ponyboy forget what needs to get done without their older brother there to remind them. 

After a long, hot day of work, Darry comes home to his brothers and their group of friends in the living room watching TV. Darry immediately tenses up at the sight of the unkempt kitchen with dishes piled up to the ceiling, spills on the counter tops, and the garbage can filled to the brim. “Pony, why isn’t the trash out?! And Soda, why aren’t the dishes done?!” Darry scolds, causing the group to jump at the sudden break from their television trance. “We forgot, Darry. Don’t worry, we’ll do it now,” Soda explains calmly as Darry storms into his room to avoid yelling more at his brothers. 

Soda and Pony begin their chores almost immediately, not wanting to upset Darry any further. “Shoot, what’s up with him? He still hung up on y/n?” Two-Bit asks before taking a swig of his beer. “Yeah...” Ponyboy trails off as he walks by Two to take the trash out. “That’s why I avoid serious relationships,” Dallas scoffs bitterly. “I’m guessing you and Sylvia are still broken up?” Steve smirks, earning a cold glare from Dal’s ice blue eyes. “It’s a shame. They were perfect together,” Johnny speaks up, fiddling with the frayed edges of his denim jacket. As Pony walks back inside, he sneers, “Darry was nicer when he was with y/n...now he’s just like he was when Mom and Dad died; cold and bitter.” Sodapop, still unfinished with the dishes, takes a seat on the edge of the couch and says, “Wish there was a way to get them back together, but Darry never wants to talk about it.” Darry, who has been listening from the hallway, enters the living room with a defeated expression and admits, “I’m open to ideas...I miss her.” 

Sodapop is the first to speak up, “You’ve gotta do something romantic, like bring her flowers and take her out somewhere real nice.” Darry walks over to his father’s chair and sits down, listening intently to the advice. “That’s too boring. He needs to surprise her, like in that one movie where the guy holds the stereo playing their favorite song,” Two-Bit suggests, his eyes still focused on the TV screen. “Why don’t you throw rocks at her window or something like that?” Dallas says as he feels around in his pockets for his carton of cigarettes. “You should also work on an apology - a real good one. You don’t wanna show up to her place with nothing good to say,” Johnny adds, knowing exactly what it’s like to get tongue-tied at the worst possible time. “You could invite her to the drive-in. They’re playing that one movie she really likes,” Ponyboy proposes. “Do y’all think this is all gonna be enough? What if she still doesn’t wanna get back together?” Darry worries, running a hand through his greased hair. “If she says no, we don’t want anything to do with her anymore,” Steve laughs, getting up to go to the kitchen. As the boys chuckle softly, Soda gives a comforting smile to Darry. This has to work.

-later that night-

As y/n tidies up the small kitchen in her apartment, she hears music coming from outside. Y/n recognizes the song, and stops scrubbing the counter tops for a moment. This was her and Darry’s song. It was the song that they had their first kiss to, the song that they would sing their hearts out to when they would drive together, and the song that they would dance to at midnight in the living room when everyone else was asleep. Y/n smiles as she reminisces, swaying her hips to the beat of the music. While washing her dishes, her window shatters, causing her to stop what she’s doing and grab a kitchen knife in case she would need to defend herself. “Damn it, Darry! I said a small pebble, not a fucking rock!” Dallas shouts, causing y/n to sigh loudly, setting the knife back down. “I didn’t mean to throw it that hard! I’ve told her plenty of times before that she needs to replace her windows, but she never listened!” Darry defends himself. She throws on a pair of shoes to avoid stepping on the glass, and stands at the window to look down at the group of greasers. Two-Bit stands beside Darry with a small radio at its highest volume, playing Darry and hers song. Darry holds a bouquet of yellow and pink flowers while Dallas walks back to Darry’s parked car where the rest of the boys watch anxiously from inside the coop and on the truck bed.

“What the hell are y’all doing?! And why the hell is my window shattered?!” y/n shouts. “Well, the window part was an accident, but that’s not why I’m here!” Darry begins as y/n stares with her arms crossed over her chest. Darry reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out note cards with his apology written out on them. Before he gets the chance to say anything, y/n’s neighbor’s window opens. An older man, about 70 years old, leans out and stares coldly at y/n before hissing, “Would you quiet down? Some of us are trying to get some sleep!” His window slams shut before y/n gets a chance to apologize. She storms out of her apartment and stomps down the old steps of her apartment building. 

As she steps outside, the cool autumn breeze greets her, causing her to cross her arms over her chest to keep warm. Darry and the rest of the gang greet her with hopeful smiles, but she most certainly does not share the same feelings at the moment. She keeps a distance between herself and Darry, keeping a stern expression before demanding, “Do you wanna tell me what the hell is going on?” Even with her stubborn expression and closed-off body language, Darry can’t help but smile dumbly at her fuming beauty. “I came to apologize,” Darry begins, completely ignoring his note cards that were carefully written out, with the help of Soda and Johnny, and placed in his jacket pocket before coming over to y/n’s apartment building. 

“I was a jerk and should’ve given you more attention when we were together. And, I shouldn’t have been so harsh with you when you were only trying to make things better. I really love you, but I know that I’m sometimes not the best at showing it. I want to be better and want to be with you, but I understand if you still need time...I’m really sorry, y/n,” Darry continues, causing y/n to drop her arms at her sides as a small start of a smile pulls the corner of her lips.

“Oh, and these are for you,” Darry says sweetly, handing the bouquet to y/n. She gladly takes the bouquet before wrapping her arms around Darry. Happily surprised, Darry holds y/n close to him before pulling back to kiss her gently. The boys cheer from the truck, causing Darry and y/n to share a laugh. As y/n rests her arms loosely around Darry’s waist, she sighs, “So how are we going to fix my window?” Darry throws his head back with a laugh before placing another kiss on y/n’s lips, remembering the taste and feeling of being in love.