#Also I like how this game has a character maker. It even had all the elements I needed

[villain-in-love]

So basically... A Date With Death MC/Self-insert

Music:

Оно Выделяло Тепло by АИГЕЛ

Death Is A Teacher by Eden Iris

BRAT by Chris Marcell

...also Mixed Messages by Tom Cardy

Facts:

⬩ I have yet to come up with a separate name for her... So for now she's just Katarina.

⬩ Aspiring fashion designer of 25 years of age.

⬩ Currently works as an assistant in an atelier in the centre of the city.

⬩ Lives alone in a studio-type of apartments with her pet cat Seras.

⬩ She’s been getting into all kinds of disasters and life-threatening incidents throughout her life, miraculously surviving every time. Unfortunately, the people around her are usually not so lucky, so she had to witness many deaths.

⬩ At least a half of her family is dead by now, and she keeps her distance with the remaining relatives. Well, it's not that she was ever the type of person who would care about family, so she doesn't dwell on that.

⬩ She has two moods: an insufferable clown and an absolute bitch.

⬩ Most people consider Katarina to be intimidating and unapproachable, mostly because she’s not too fond of social interactions, along with having a sharp tongue and a domineering attitude. And since she doesn't really understand social rules, she comes across as mean and arrogant even when she doesn’t intend to.

⬩ Being conventionally attractive and dressing up in very classy, “formal” fashion doesn’t help her case.

⬩ However, if you get involved in an actual conversation with her, you’ll find that she can be very playful and humorous, she just supresses that side of her. And for a good reason, I must say, because she often goes overboard with her teasing, and her humour indeed can be rather mean.

⬩ Conversations with her also tend to easily slip into something that is either sexual or macabre (she might have some issues).

⬩ Katarina is a romantic at heart, but she never had a chance to date anyone, mostly because she has very specific tastes. But then a certain reaper came along, and it turned out that she's actually really flirty. Too flirty even.

⬩ By the start of the canon timeline she was going crazy from boredom and loneliness. Perhaps that’s why she decided to reply to a "Grim Reaper" weirdo who was spamming her with messages from an unknown app she doesn't even remember installing.

⬩ Anyways, since she was so pent-up, and Casper seemed like such an easy target… Yeah, she just went all out on him. Years of untold jokes and atrocious pick-up lines finally found their way out. She surely had a blast making fun of him.

⬩ It’s not like she completely refuses to believe in supernatural, you know. She’s an agnostic, all she needs is some substantial evidence. But instead of providing that evidence, Casper just kept making a fool of himself for the first few days.

⬩ He’s lucky that he’s so pretty and that Katarina has a thing for idiots with an attitude. This guy is exactly her type (and she’s going to make it his problem).

⬩ Unlike canon MC, Katarina wasn’t that surprised to find out that he’s an actual Grim Reaper. She just needed some time to process the implications (and maybe some vodka).

⬩ That is to say, after learning from Casper that the reason she was constantly getting into accidents was her inability to die, she went through the crisis of realising that she really is the reason that so many people that were close to her are now dead.

⬩ She’s also more chill than canon MC. Casper can actually talk to her seriously… Before she inevitably starts trolling him again because she can’t resist the temptation.

⬩ She graduated high school of art and design but didn’t get to the higher education because her parents died, and she was not ready to work and study at the same time. She managed to find a decent job anyways, but she still wants to get a degree in the future when she’s more stable.

⬩ She only has one friend who is just as bad as she is. Said friend lives in another city, but they talk on the phone constantly.

⬩ She adopted her cat about two years ago after stumbling upon her on the streets. Katarina is very protective of Seras and always tries to ensure her safety above everything else.

⬩ Unlike the way it looks in the game, her actual apartments are a mess, with paper, fabric and tools lying everywhere. Though honestly, this mess is nothing compared to how her working space in an atelier looks.

[jackass-jones]

Honestly though I think it’s really a bad sign when I look at Shin Tsukimi and literally feel like he’s a self insert 😩

[c0nn0rsseur]

Can we take a moment to appreciate Bryan Dechart’s performance as Cyberlife Tower Connor aka Sixty and Sixty as a character? 🤌

Though Sixty and deviant Connor are physically identical (minus their demeanors, e.g. the way they stand and walk, like wow, Bryan, wow) and their voices technically aren’t different from each other, the distinction is still clearly there, at the same time it’s so nuanced too. Sixty sounds condescending, imperious and callous compared to deviant Connor whose voice is empathetic, curious and sincere. I’m not even talking about their lexicon, their choice of words here (there’s of course a difference too). Even when Sixty tries to convince Hank he’s the real Connor, you can hear how he’s failing to sound exactly like his counterpart because he can’t replicate deviant Connor’s voice and speech pattern just so. Sixty’s also being very commanding when trying to fool Hank into shooting the real Connor (Hank even gets irritated because of it). Damn that’s brilliant acting, all hats off to Bryan. His performance in this game never fails to impress me. (I wish there were dialogue for RK900 too, I would’ve loved to see Bryan’s take on his voice and presence.)

Also also I have to mention I love the take that Sixty really was a deviant all along too, an ”evil” version of Connor if you will; cold, calculating and even enjoying the situation he had Connor (and Hank) in. You know, doing all of it because he wanted to, because he liked it. Why else would he deliver a whole ass villain monologue before executing deviant Connor, gloating about how he knows what he is and that he is the obedient, favorite child, plus calling Connor a disappointment (and a disappointment to him especially, like how Connor should care in his final moments that Sixty despises him for not being a good little robot)? AND shooting him several times non-lethally before landing that final shot (if the story goes there), like savoring the situation. Of course he also has to ask if Connor has any last words too. That’s definitely not what an efficient machine would have done to make sure it accomplished its mission. In some outcomes his stalling costs him the victory.

Top that off with the ending where deviant Connor dies but the androids still wake up, Sixty is scared and emotional because he failed, scared to be deactivated because of his failure. Then there’s this scene where he shoots deviant Connor eleven times in front of his friend. After that Sixty takes in Hank’s reaction and even torments him by saying Connor’s death was his fault. Still doesn’t sound like a machine much, huh? More like a sadistic psychopath.

Man, I wish we could’ve seen more Sixty, it would’ve been chilling to see if he went full-on rogue, maybe being Markus’ right hand/attack dog on a leash in the violent revolution arc, maybe with his own agenda of taking Markus’ place and wanting to subjugate humanity. Or maybe deviant Connor could’ve persuaded him to their side by making Sixty to see he was nothing but a tool, unintentionally prompting him to seek revenge and to reduce Amanda and Cyberlife to atoms (not what Connor intended haha). There could’ve even been a redemption arc for him, like in a ”what’ve I done?” type way. You know, a bit of an internal moral struggle. And of course, our fave ”sack of shit” (as Hank so eloquently put it) demanding answers from his maker, Kamski, in a not-so, uh, conventional manner. Let them measure their respective arrogance and wit and see who comes out on top. Or would they team up?

Such a delicious character, so many delicious what-ifs.

[indigosfindings]

replaying super paper mario, sporadic thoughts post-chapter 2:

very easy so far--& although ttyd was also easy, spm's gameplay is sadly substantially less rich thab ttyd's was

having said that the game design in spm is! unrelentingly charming!! the use of platforming as a framework for a varied stream of stage styles (straightforward levels, dungeons, towns, the entire 2-3 Situation) is creative in a way that imo predicts the sort of things the mario maker community later ended up making. chapter 2's set pieces in particular are extremely quirky (the rooms with traps, the rubee thing, the mazelike basement, the merlee game show lmao)

few platformers have boss fights that feel like genuine Combat, so that's pretty cool

i will confess that as a First Dungeon, yold ruins doesnt have half the sauce of hooktail castle--it's much more linear in layout, with far less of that zelda-y "explore & comprehend the space" principle that made ttyd's dungeons hit

in a similar vein, it's kind of crazy how tippi has like a fraction of the personality that goombella had. it's a bit sad for the character doing the vast majority of the talking to just.... not really have any opinions on anything

the momentum of the chapters likewise means very few npcs ever get to stick out. like, even the "first town crotchety old mayor" character was a total one-and-done, one dialogue and you never have a reason to speak to him again (mostly just speaks to the game structure, which is as mentioned a bold enough exercise that i feel i cant really fault it for that)

bringing up a menu to use items In A Platforming Context is not at all natural to me, so im finding myself just not really using them

this game is a masterclass in visual design imo. the npcs & enemies & pixls being made of primitives that reconfigure themselves into different shapes really elevates the interplay of 2d & 3d, the backgrounds/environments are extremely aesthetically satisfying (the Mathmosphere in lineland, the optical illusion in the sky in gloam valley, all of castle bleck), & i love how the constant "digital/tech" motif (eg the "dragging selection boxes to flip/teleport", the trees & shrubs looking like something youd make in ms paint, etc) is an ingenious progression of paper mario's core aesthetic design

dimentio is so fun

i ADOOOORE nastasia

the inter-chapter dialogue flashbacks are surprisingly earnest? for such a tongue-in-cheek game where almost every line of dialogue contains a joke of some kind, those exchanges feel humourless & sincere. that probably contributes to the Space the game occupies in all of our memories lol

likewise it was really interesting how peach's "escape" sequence after chapter 1 was (while, again, still extremely sardonic) aesthetically & narratively framed with such a sense of Hopelessness. that's not to say like "woahh this mario game is 10x darker than you thought!!!!", more that it's just not a space the series commonly ventures into

the Ancients stuff is being leaned into extremely hard lol. ttyd mostly teases at that kind of "mysterious rpg lore" thing peripherally (the riddle tower inscriptions, grifty, etc) so it's interesting how spm puts it front & centre in contrast, without ever sacrificing the sense of mystique

this game really highlights how interesting the wiimote is as a controller--pressing the A button while holding it sideways (ie removing your left thumb from the direction input to press a button) is something that i cant think of any other controller doing, & it projects onto that button a really interesting sense of, like, Valence

it's the kind of game that seems to beg for one of thsoe posts like "things that ACTUALLY HAPPEN in _____"

[meanbossart]

What horror games have you played/wanted to play? Also have you tried any rpg maker horrors?

I actually don't play that many horror games, I don't think? Between you and me most of them are... Kind of garbagee. But I like when really weird things are taken dead seriously, which most video games don't succeed at. But in the rare time they DO, it usually falls into the "horror" genre at least loosely. I'm just going to list my favorites:

PS: I'm really showing how insufferable I am with these summaries, sorry!

The Outlast series: the most Tasteful tasteless gory-shit-fest of a horror series I've ever seen. I don't like shock for the sake of shock, and Outlast somehow manages to always make it for the sake of SOMETHING. The original game+DLC is a buttload of fun, and if you pull back one layer it also poses some interesting and difficult questions about the place and treatment of the criminally inclined in society. Pull yet another layer back and you find a fascinating subversion of the expected role men are supposed to inhabit in horror games. The second game is a vastly different, and profoundly emotional experience, opinions on it vary for reasons I find very understandable, but I personally really like it.

Fear & Hunger: I guess this answers your question about RPG horror games! Unfortunately, this is the only one I ever played that I liked, but REALLY like it, I have a tattoo of the circle of perfection on the back of my hand, even, lol (I already had other hand tats, don't freak out). I just really like the absurdity of the story and all of the lore that the developer has cooked up for it, and the way it all matters but also kind of doesn't. I think its an insane feat to have achieved the atmosphere he did with the limited tools he has, not to mention the massive amount of respect I have for any creator that simultaneously wears their influences on their sleeves while displaying massive creativity and originality.

Pathologic: This game kind of speaks for itself honestly. Its just brutal, creative, infuriating, I could go on - It's probably the most immersive experience I've ever had in a game. If you've never played it before I would suggest buying Pathologic 2 (don't worry about it) and playing it completely blind. Forget about "winning", forget even about succeeding, just go about it as if you were in the protagonist's shoes and see where you leads you.

Scorn: Without a doubt in my top 5 games of all time and I don't care that that is an insane take. This game is everything I want from interactive stories - entirely intuitive, doesn't spoonfeed you a single grain of its lore or pushes its story on you, it just puts the pieces in your hands and its up to you to feel it on instinct. This 5 hour game with no dialogue, no text, not even any named characters to speak of had me crying at its ending and I didn't even know whether I was sad or overjoyed. I fucking LOVE scorn.

Honorable mention:

The Space Between by Christoph Frey (not to be confused with The Space INbetween.): Is a short, 30 minute experience about intimacy presented through a horror lens. I really don't want to say anything else about it, but I played it like 5 years ago and I still hold it near and dear to my heart. It's a master's guide to storytelling through semiotics and exemplary in it's... Emotionally charged visuals? Like, I had never before seen a story make sentiment into and external, tangible thing quite like this one does, like turning sound into an object or something. Amazing little indie game.

[utilitycaster]

One of your recent posts talked about the way BH have essentially "run out of plot" in following the Red Moon/Predathos plot and the way that the PCS are being played.

I was also curious about your thought on the interparty dynamics in the end game, particularly with recent developments. One of the issues I've had with Bell's Hells for a while now is the way they don't challenge each other (or at least not in the way previous parties have)

Yeah; they don't. And honestly I think this is a combination of just...luck of the draw of the characters they created combined with that lack of room for those characters to develop because they've been in an environment that hasn't allowed much time and space for anything but rushing to the next task. Like, as mentioned, a lot of characters are kind of here to hang out or have goals that aren't specifically tied to personal change, if they have specific goals at all. That's not a bad thing! Grog, Jester, and Fearne all share that quality and are all fantastic executions of it - and Grog and Jester do change quite a bit despite that because the story gives them many opportunities to do so, and yes, because their fellow party members challenge them. But it feels like the bulk of Bells Hells if not all of it is kind of in that boat.

I remember an early panel in which Marisha said "I don't want to think anymore" and I know Travis has mentioned something similar for Chetney, of wanting to play someone much more chaotic after playing someone so highly controlled as Fjord. Liam also talked about stepping back from being a major decision maker at some point, and built Orym to be someone who had a viewpoint but didn't specifically assert it (as we've just seen). Like, I think most resentment C3 fans have towards C2 is just jealousy and bitterness but perhaps a fairer grievance is that the cast really brought their A-Game to the Mighty Nein with a lot of incredibly complicated, driven, messy characters and due to the smaller nature of the company then combined with the scaled back production of the pandemic focused intently on them; and then nearly all of them made a bunch of fairly go-with-the-flow or chaotic characters as a breather and (not unfairly or unreasonably!) thought they'd be in a story that would give them space to become something else or that would suit them, and it didn't. As someone who likes actual play I think if nothing else this serves as a look into how fantastic overall cast chemistry doesn't translate into compelling party dynamics.

To be clear, I think Bells Hells like and care about each other, but none are really the type to both strive to be better and challenge those around them to be as well. Even their defenders in the fandom are kind of leaning on the party of NPCs line from very early on [which is funny because a lot of people HATED that line at the time; I got hate over thinking it was apt] but the thing is yeah at this point in the campaign, they shouldn't still feel like a party of NPCs. Perhaps this is a personal preference, which, to be clear, does not in any way invalidate it as criticism, but as someone with a bit of a comics background, I've never been terribly into "Suicide Squad"-esque stories but I am into stories of Person Who Has An Opportunity And Rises To The Occasion Despite Not Being The Best Choice On Paper. Ultimately, my issue isn't that Bells Hells come from humble backgrounds and tragedy (this is also...not untrue for the Mighty Nein, incidentally; in fact they had even less endorsement from powerful groups. Molly died 26 episodes in and he just stayed fucking dead because no one had Keyleth's phone number so this is another case of "your defense just makes me think the Mighty Nein achieve this in a far superior manner"); my issue is that, as Laudna put it, they kind of just walk through doors because they're in front of them. I don't need them to become classically heroic; but I do need them to have some sort of intention. And they don't. Why are you walking through doors? "Because they're there" doesn't cut it. You're here because the Exandrian Accord gave you a whole bunch of support so don't play that "i'm just a nobody with nothing" shit anymore, it's demonstrably untrue.

I had this in the tags originally and I decided, perhaps unwisely, to move it into this post because I think it's relevant, but: in case it's not apparent, I think "You! Are! Valid!" culture is fucking awful; this is what that weirdo who thinks I'm from Reddit is mad at, I think (honestly I'm not sure if they're angry, they might just be very unwell). Like, it has roots in something true and helpful; you are valid for things like your race, gender, sexuality, ability/disability, and things that have happened to you in the past. But actually no one is automatically valid for their actions. Being incurious or inconsiderate or incapable of taking constructive criticism, even if this is tied to your past? not valid. Your trauma and pain is valid; what you do in their name very much might not be. And I think a lot of people who love Bells Hells do not like this message (which, Bells Hells don't like this message, hence the repeated "whatever you do is fine" conversations) and kind of romanticize a "NO ONE IS ON OUR SIDE WE MUST DO WHAT IS RIGHT FOR US THERE'S NO GOOD ANSWERS" state in which one cannot be held responsible for action nor inaction and that's a lot of why they respond so dramatically to the increasing sense within the fandom that this party lacks the juice and does judge them for inaction. Like, I've been talking about character agency and how a lot of people's enjoyment of Bells Hells hinges on how they HAD NO CHOICES and I think we're seeing the fallout, which is that a TTRPG story (ie, a medium defined more so than anything else about player choices) about characters who were stripped of choice kinda sucks ass, and anyone who doesn't look to actual play D&D to valid their personal morality (which, in this case, usually is "the world is unfair so I can do whatever I want" anyway) would rather see a story about a character who fucking had a viewpoint and did things with it, even if it were a "bad" viewpoint. I know I'm hard on villain stans because a lot of them are actually people who are like "what if the VILLAIN were the HERO...I am very intelligent," but actually, this is the crux of why Darth Vader was very popular. It's not because people thought he was a good person; it's because he drove the story more so than the heroes much of the time, and people responded to that. Purely reactive characters are boring and to get back to your original point do not challenge each other unless someone else starts the reaction chain, and there just haven't been too many opportunities of the external nor internal variety to do it. It's mostly bad luck and again, a session zero could have fixed this, but it is what it is.

[shewrites444]

fire [coriolanus snow x reader smut]

[Hello! It has been awhile. I wanted to switch it up and try out a fic on young Coriolanus Snow’s character from TBOSAS after hearing about the new Hunger Games movie! Please let me know if you enjoy his character. I also apologize if this story has some imperfections, I did not edit it.]

WC - 4.3k

SUMMARY - The reader is a prestigious pianist and composer for the Capitol. She finds herself in a mental, and physical, battle against her attraction to President Snow throughout his dictatorial rule and loveless marriage as months go on. Attempting to get under his skin through a rather bold encounter, she finds herself back to where she started as he reminds her of their similarities, but she holds more power above him than anticipated. 

WARNINGS - Cheating, angst, cursing, choking, fingering, detailed & unprotected sex. Coriolanus is a bit sexist and also doesn’t know how to shut the hell up, so fair warning on that. 

-

Coriolanus had spent the past few months focused on nothing but his political reputation, and the power he only continued to gain in the Capitol, along with the Districts. Well, it was more of a submission than anything, fear spread through Panem as his reign as President, or as many called him, a dictator, was unveiled. 

He had no focus on his chosen wife, Livia Cardew, knowing that she was solely a prop for visual acceptance, a showcase of a wife that he was able to find someone who supported him through his political career, and the most important time of the year, of course, The Hunger Games.

When the games were approaching, the Capitol organized several socials and meetings throughout the upcoming weeks in order to network Coriolanus with his political and social allies, the game-makers, the Academy students that were interested in working with Dr. Gaul and the rest of her associates, and any other connections that were essential to the duration of a successful season. 

I found it disgusting, and inhumane, just like those in the Districts, but I, just like everyone else who was ranked underneath President Snow, had to find ways to cautiously approach such a season of brutality. 

Serving the Capitol as a pianist and musical coordinator by trade, I found ways to avoid the Districts and remain in a fairly comfortable lifestyle as the years went on. I had been working mainly for Coriolanus’ wife, Livia, for her social events held with other women of the Capitol on weekends, typically. I had assumed Livia told Coriolanus of my talents, and the orchestra I would often accompany, so that’s when he had me perform before a meeting with several of his associates. That’s when it all began.

Was I just ashamed? Yes, but I was more disgusted with myself than anything. That was the best way to put it.

It was shameful, and quite out of character for me to be a mistress, for one, but it was worse to know the same man I often slept with was the reason for so many innocent and unforgiving deaths across Panem. How the hell was I supposed to get out of this entanglement, though? If I left, or even expressed that I was thinking about it, I’d be as good as dead. 

I hadn’t seen him in a few weeks, but when the buzz amongst the games began to pick up, I knew he’d be in my vicinity soon enough. Livia had asked me to perform for a social before the Reaping Ceremony, which I obviously obliged to. Something in me felt that she knew of my arrangement with her husband, but something else told me she didn’t even care. She had all the power in the world, and Coriolanus wouldn’t dare harm her; it would forever damage his reputation. She had nothing to lose. She knew I had everything to lose. 

“You were wonderful, as always.” Livia chimed, handing me a glass of wine as I walked onto the marble floor soon after my performance. I returned a gentle smile, sipping lightly from the clear glass before clearing my throat to speak up. I was used to being rather quiet, given my nature as a pianist. I spent most of my time practicing and playing in solitary, so I was not much of a talker, especially now that things had changed over the course of the past few months, but I kept my composure, and I remembered who I was conversing with. 

“Thank you, Mrs. Snow. I find it an honor you allow me to perform for such special occasions.” I say, my eyes scanning the room as I watch men and women of heavy rank socialize throughout the floor, some already dining, some already on their second drink of the night, maybe more.. 

Livia looked me up and down briefly, watching my nervous demeanor unwind. She watched me stand still, glancing around the chattery room, my fingertips lightly tapping my glass. A small smile wrinkled onto her lips. “Well, I will leave you be, Miss [Y/N], I’m sure you are quite tired.” She reached to gently hold my shoulder, sending a cold shudder across my bare skin. “Have a wonderful evening, alright?”

“Yes, of course, you as well, Mrs. Snow.” I watch her walk away, feeling as if I could finally breathe again. 

I felt faint, nerves stemming from Livia’s appearance sending me over the edge, and the usual guilt I felt only more demanding as seconds passed. I set my glass down before walking out the ballroom’s door, which led down a dim hallway stacked with offices, and a bathroom more towards the back. I had been here plenty of times before, so I knew a spot where I could cool off and freshen up for a few moments. 

Opening the bathroom door, I felt a hand press against the wall beside me, to stop me. I glanced up, his pale, slim fingers planted to the side of my head, making my face turn white. I slowly let go of the door, turning to face Coriolanus. He looked down at me, a sly look on his already smug expression, no shame in his blue eyes. It made my stomach turn.

“President Snow.” I said, my eyes averting to each side of the hallway, scanning the wide space to assure that no one was around, before looking back up to meet his gaze. “You startled me. I was just going to freshen up before heading back to the party.”

“Please, spare me the formality, [Y/N].” He grinned, taking his hand off the wall before moving it to my cheek, making my face heat up. “Come with me, hm?”

“Your wife is not even two doors down, Coriolanus.” I drip his name out in a cautious whisper, which he had given me permission for ages ago. He struck me as the type of man who’d prefer a formal reference, maybe even find attraction in it, but I suppose he’d rather something else from me. I didn���t question it. “And the rest of your business partners, might I add.”

Coriolanus laughed, almost mockingly, at my seriousness. “You think she is not aware of you and I, [Y/N]? She is not a fool.” He patted my flushed cheek before he grabbed my hand. “Now come with me.”

I didn’t argue further, just nodding silently before following him down the hallway. I recognized where he was leading me, just from a different direction. The Capitol was like a maze, at least the inside of it, but I had memorized much of it from Coriolanus, and my work. We head to his bedroom, the sound of my heels clicking against the glossed floor while he walked me further.

I hear him close the door, mentally preparing myself for what was to come. It’s not like I didn’t want him, because I did, it was more that I didn’t want the reprimands of being caught, or feeling so dirty for what I was doing. There was an underlying guilt each and every time I slept with him, or even as much as I spoke to him, no matter what the circumstances were. 

As the door locked, Coriolanus turned to walk towards me, before I took a step back, much to his surprise. He raised one of his light eyebrows, a confused, yet intrigued look on his face. I never denied him, and who’s to say that I was? I didn’t even know what I was doing, other than thinking out loud, which only made my blood run colder.

The tension in the room was tight, and could be cut from a string as thin as the threads that held what was under my gown together. I could hear myself breathing, and my thoughts racing to spit out of my shut mouth. My eyes lifted up to his own, and I stood straight, and firmly.

“Out of all the women in the Capitol, out of everyone you could have in the ways you have me, why did you choose to tangle me into your mess?” I ask, rather impressed with my own forwardness. “Why must it be me?”

Coriolanus shared a similar look as my own, but his expression curated itself into some sort of cheeky grin, almost as if he enjoyed my slight rebellion. He knew I didn’t take orders, so he never bothered ordering me around. He didn’t have to ask, he knew I liked it, and he knew I’d comply, and he also knew I felt guilty every time, but I never posed such a question, until now.

He tucked his hands into his slacks, stepping closer, his slim, tall build hovering before me.

“It is you because I find everything I prefer in you.” He answered flatly, following my questions. “My wife has no regard for anything but her own status, which I can admire, but she does not have any reason to achieve anything more. The women who seek to improve their status, say, by sleeping with me or attempting to, seek to achieve more than they ever will. Then there is you, who is firmly placed in between all of these women, who holds prestige, who holds respect, yet, in every way possible, feels that she is less deserving of it because she holds attraction to the one man she cannot have.”

His words frustrated me beyond my usual measure, and I couldn’t contain the pressure pent up in my chest, eagerly awaiting to push through my quivering lips. He angered me, and he made me feel lesser, when this entire time, he was the one who took out his frustrations on me, and he was the one who ran from every ounce of affection he was once offered, and threw it at me. It was always in the back of my head, yet I found myself in a delusion, one where I would never allow myself to see the truth, but it all came to me as he spoke. 

“You are the one who cannot have me. How could I make that anymore clear? After all this time, all these months of you thinking your usage was one-sided, how could you not see it, Coriolanus?” I loosened up my posture, and stepped forward, nearly closing the irritable gap that was between the two of us. “You are the one who finds me after my performances, you are the one who pursues me, time and time again. I comply, yes, but I am not the one who soughts after you.”

He blinked. I could read it as clear as day that he was taken aback by my words. A satisfying feeling burned in me, yet the tension geared towards the uncertainty of our conversation never left. I spoke up, and I was not pretty about it. What would he do now? Surely a pianist disappearing wasn’t common, but I wasn’t Capitol royalty, so it’s not like he couldn’t disregard me if he wanted to. Would he do that? No, I was too valuable to him in more ways than one. How worked up he got over this affair showed me that.

“Seems we both have our issues.” He hummed. Another foot stepped closer to me, the tip of his shoe nearly stepping on mine, but he knew that. He reached forward after pulling his hands out of his pockets, and cupped my cheeks with both of his cold, large hands. His thumbs pressed against my lips, and I could feel my lipstick brush against his fingers. “Yet neither of us have ended the arrangement between us. Why do you think that is?”

“Don’t make me answer that.” I shake my head, reaching my hands up to pull him off of me, and lightly push him away. “I will not engage in such a conversation.”

“You’re the one who started this conversation.” Coriolanus grabbed my wrists, yanking me forward. He leaned down to press his lips against my own, causing me to gasp, and attempt to fight it, but I couldn’t.

He knew I liked it, and he knew how to use it against me. I sunk into the feeling for a brief moment, before I pushed him off me, my hands planted against his dress shirt as I gripped the material, holding him in place while he looked down at me, his once slicked back curls falling forward, a few loose hairs against his forehead as he grinned, my lipstick against his pale lips. He tilted his head, his hands moving to grip my waist rather harshly, just enough to keep me still.

“Do I have to remind you how crucial this arrangement is to you? To make you answer my question, hm?” He held me, walking me closer to the opposite side of the room. Aggressively, he kissed me once more, flipping my body to face his vanity, while still keeping my face turned to his own.

He ran his hands down the side of my gown, bunching it up enough that he could push it underneath my chest to remain upright. “You claim to despise what happens between us so much, and you hate that you are what stands between my marriage, yet you cannot seem to walk out the door. Come on, [Y/N], you and I both know you are a bit afraid to fully defy me, but you don’t even try to, until now. But it’s all talk, you’ll never really break anything off.” He reached between my legs, which nearly trembled at his touch, as his fingers slipped into my underwear. 

“And you’re already wet.” Coriolanus mocked, looking at me in the mirror as he slowly slipped one of his fingers into me. He watched my mouth open, a pleased, and frankly, egotistical grin on his face, knowing he had gotten to that part of me so quickly. “Is this why you have not ended what continues on between us? Because no man can make you cum the way I do? Am I really so vital to you?”

“You are insufferable.” I gasp, closing my eyes as he began to work his fingers into me, the sounds of my pleasure much more relevant in his room than I’d prefer them to be. “There are many things you refuse to admit to me, too.”

“Exactly.” Coriolanus looked between my legs as I stood before him, the pressure in his pants brushing against the back of my gown. “We are two different people, yes, but we both have secrets that we strongly refuse to admit, yet we can read it on each other’s faces. You know I’m right. I see you more than anyone else, and you hate it. You hate that I can see you.”

“Then why do you treat this with such amusement?” I chime back, opening my eyes to glue them to what was occurring before me. I could feel his free hand move to begin sliding my underwear down. “Why do you mock me, when the scenario applies to yourself?”

“Because I have nothing to lose.” He returns, shooting me a glare as he drops my underwear to the floor as they pass my hips. “My wife is aware of my distaste for her, and for much of any affections. The Capitol will never question me because they know their lives, and their families, are at stake. No one will question me, [Y/N]. They have too much to lose.”

I feel him move his hand behind my back, tugging at the zipper that restrained him. He keeps his rhythm, and he keeps his eyes against my figure. He knew he had the upper hand, it would be impossible for me to overturn his rank, and his power, and nearly everything he had that I did not. I was constantly reminded of it, especially like this. 

“Then why entertain the idea of me holding any sort of power over you through our affections? Why bother administering mockery upon me, Coriolanus?” I hiss through clear annoyance, struggling to hide the pleasure that wouldn’t seem to brush away from my core. He wasn’t giving up any sort of competence. 

Coriolanus lightly pulled his fingers from me, grazing them against my inner thighs before turning me around, and holding them to his mouth. He licked his fingertips, causing my stomach to drop at the sight, while a smirk cracked onto his tinted lips. 

“I have never been with a woman who tastes as good as you.” The sound of his tongue swirling against his fingers made me weak, and the way that someone so manipulative, so cruel, was licking a part of me, felt wrong, yet it didn’t. It was a confusing battle with oneself. “You hold that power, if you must know.”

He pulled his fingers away from his lips, wiping his hand against my dress before tugging it out from under my covered chest, standing straight as he began to pull it off me, and I just let him. Fucking hell.

“You think I’d fuck a woman I didn’t hold any sort of value to? You think I would waste my time with mindless affairs filled with women whose sole purpose in life is to please me, and to please their husbands? The only pleasure they gain from me is validation, nothing more.” He moved my dress down my shoulders. “You want me to fuck you, [Y/N]. Not just any man of rank, me. It makes you sick, doesn’t it?”

“You fancy me just as much as you do anything else you do for yourself.” I feel him move my gown above my head, over my long, slicked ponytail. “You do this for yourself, no one else. You like that I feel such a way.”

He shook his head, dropping my dress on the floor beside my underwear. “Power and value are different. If I wanted to have power over a woman, I’d be fucking my wife, not you.”

My eyes widened at his words. What was his angle here? This argument was endless. “Then why do you act like you have so much power over me? You want to talk to me about value, yet you show none of it. You only exert power, and your ego, against me everytime I feel your touch. You fuck me like you own me, like you hold such a rule, yet you claim that I hold some sort of power. You baffle me.” 

He took my hands and moved them to his length, in which I nearly shivered upon touch, reminded of each and every time he came close to me, and how large he felt when he was inside me. I lightly stroked him soon after I spoke, watching his bottom lip slightly fall at my fingers. He began to unbutton his shirt.

“Am I supposed to make this easy for you?” He teased, sliding his shirt off his shoulders, now standing in nothing but his unzipped pair of pants and boxers that rested just above them. “Must all you women figure things out without assistance for once?”

“Oh, god,” I scoff, my eyes rolling off irritable instinct as I continued my actions against his stiffened cock. “You are-”

“Insufferable?” Coriolanus cued, raising his brows, his hands moving to guide me towards his bed, as we mutually climbed onto it. “I don’t imagine my cock is insufferable, at least, given your generous duration of touch.”

I groan, watching him lay as I motion my body on top of his. If I had some sort of power, as he seemed to suspiciously claim I do, surely I could show it? I glance at him, feeling his hands reach below to grab my ass, toying with the loose flesh as his instinct brought me above him. 

I don’t respond, rather slide on top of him in a swift motion, causing the both of us to moan rather loudly, nearly echoing across his lavish suite of a bedroom. I watched his eyes fall to my bare chest, before gliding down to the movement between us, as I began to move my body forward. 

“If you claim that I am of such value to you… and you give into submissions at times, then you’ll allow me to control you… hm?” I speak between heavy breaths, feeling his thick, restless cock bury between my thighs as I create a rhythm above him. 

“Like I said to you before, [Y/N], I’m not supposed to make it easy for you.” His eyes never left our bodies while he guided me down. “You’ll see.”

I lean down, his cock angling itself at a curve as I reach to slide my hands to his shoulders, gently kneading at his flesh before resting both palms against his pale neck, my nails digging into the back of it, sliding into his blonde locks. A grin tugs at my lips while I press them against his own, feeling his tongue slide into my mouth and muffle the moans I made with each stroke. 

I squeeze at his neck, my thumbs pressing against his adam’s apple while I ride his cock. Thrust after thrust, I could feel him twitch, knowing he was growing weaker and weaker as I went on. He liked the dominance, but he’d never admit it. Instead he’d toy with me, attempt to make me feel as if I had to work for his value, when I already had it. I had him, and I had all this time. I had nothing to lose. 

“What if it melts?” I ask vaguely, looking down at him amidst the loose hairs against my face. “What will you do then?”

Coriolanus released his hands from my ass, moving them higher to my chest, his thumbs toying with my hardened nipples as he held me up, but my hands remained on his throat. I could feel it move as he spoke. “What if what melts?” 

“Snow.” I breathe heavily at his stimulating touch, while I begin to pick up my speed between us. “What will you do if the snow melts?”

Coriolanus scoffed, pressing his thumbs down. “It won’t.”

I press down and lean down simultaneously, shaking my head as I laugh, the feeling of my physical position never leaving, only growing as I mocked him further. I knew how it felt now, to toy with the one who peaked your interest so high. No wonder he enjoyed this.

“If I hold such value, such power over you, Coriolanus, it’s bound to melt. Snow cannot be on top if something is to compromise it, hm? Must I remind you of what occurred the last time you allowed someone to hold power over you?”

I couldn’t believe I brought her up. Yes, I knew of Lucy Gray, just as many of us musicians did. I never knew her personally, but I was aware of what lengths Coriolanus went to erase her from existence for his political, social, and mental gain. Is that part of the reason I feared walking away, even if I wanted to? Yes. But I knew he wouldn’t kill me, or send me off. He’d have no one if not. 

“Shut the hell up.” He moved his hands to hold me by my face. “This is different.”

“In some ways, yes.” I feel his hands move my hair behind my ears, his eyes locked against mine. He was angry, but he was allowing me to speak further, so not angry enough. “In other ways, it is quite the same.”

“Damn you, woman. Experiencing quite the power trip, aren’t you? Why don’t you do so after we fuck?” He growled, one of his hands reaching past my face to grab the end of my ponytail, yanking it down to cause my head to rise up, my back arching in the process, gasping as he thrusts upward, sending volts through my stomach. 

Don’t lose control, [Y/N]. Don’t you dare let him fuck you into submission.

“If you think for just a second that this is not changing things for you, then you are a fool.” I spit, opening my eyes to stare down at him, fighting his grip against my ponytail. I feel his other hand move from my face to my jaw, holding my face down to face his own. “You can’t do this without me. You spend far too much time with a mistress to disregard her, and you fucking know it. That’s what makes you sick.”

All he could do was curse under his breath, his grip on my hair, and on my face, loosening. Was he admitting defeat? Was he finally showcasing some sort of disadvantage? 

I leaned down to pull him into a sloppy kiss, my tongue sliding into his mouth as he lightly pressed his own against mine, yet allowing me to hold the dominance. The feeling was strange but enjoyable, knowing that I was able to hold mental and physical assertion over such a man. 

I could feel him grunt underneath me, his body limp as I fucked his restlessly, until I could feel myself tighten against him, and his cock pump into me, lightly thrusting upwards to ride out the high that he pushed into me. I watched his face as I held his neck still, his eyes closed and his mouth agape while he came. His cheeks were flushed. I knew he felt defeated, and I knew in some way, he enjoyed it. It was a feeling he hadn’t felt in a long time. 

I slowly got off of him, feeling his cum lightly stick between my thighs while I motioned to lay aside him. My hands were warm from their grip, and I rested one against his cheek, turning him to face me. 

“Do you know what makes snow melt?” He asks through a horse tone, looking up to me. He knew I wouldn’t give him the answer he was looking for, so he watched me silently shake my head. He reached forward to hold my own cheek, pulling me down to his lips, but not for a kiss. He let me hover, before he spoke quietly, his hot breath against me. 

“Fire.”

[imsosleepyofyourbull]

Trey Clover Playlist + Analysis

Okay, so first and foremost; this playlist is a WORK IN PROGRESS that I will be slowly adding to as I find more neat songs and further develop my understanding of Trey as a character. He’s a very neat little dude who has rather unexpectedly become my #1 favorite (skating right past Ruggie who had been my #1 since I first found the game) and I wish more people talked about him. This is me trying to get people to talk about him, and also me making up an excuse to yap some more.

Here’s the playlist on YouTube Music!

Here it is again on Spotify!

And if you listen to it while you read, you may notice that a lot of these songs have some vaguely conflicting themes. That’s because I’m insane and LOVE exploring the way Trey’s ingrained instinct to watch out for the people around him gets in the way of his personal desire to be perceived as an unremarkable person, and how that meshes with his unexpectedly sly nature. Many of the songs I included are clearly sung from the perspective of a caretaker trying to do their best to hold their loved one together. The Rockrose and The Thistle and Welly Boots are the most obvious examples of this, but it’s also in Achilles Come Down and Coraline (once you translate Coraline’s lyrics.)

This is a pretty obvious reference to the way that Trey plays the peace maker and reliable right hand within the structure of Heartslabyul, as well as his complex dynamic with Riddle as the result of his childhood guilt. At the same time, however, there are songs like The Harpy and the Hare and And the Hound, which create an image of a caretaker who is (unintentionally or deliberately) smothering their wards. This is in reference to the way that multiple characters call out how dangerous it can be for Trey to cover up for everyone’s mistakes and concerns, as it can lead to them being unable to take care of themselves and messing up really badly when Trey isn’t there. Further, there are songs like Over&Over or Timekeeper’s Heartbeat where I play with Trey’s exhaustion and burnout.

These pieces all contribute to the mystery of Trey’s character, and who he is as a person.

His care for the people around him is undeniably sincere, especially for Riddle, but it also seems to be a learned response from his position as both the oldest son in his family and vice housewarden of Heartslabyul. The reliable older brother to much more interesting and energetic younger siblings. The steady but unremarkable right hand to the rose red prodigy tyrant. And that’s just the image he wants to cultivate, isn’t it? That’s how he wants people to look at him, right? He’s repeatedly told everyone around him that he prefers to not draw any more attention than he has to, because he’s a perfectly normal guy who isn’t worth it.

But how much of that comes from a place of genuine wanting, and how much of it is the result of his experience as “the guardian?” When he says that his care for the people around him isn’t as kind as people believe it is, I wonder if that means he’s aware of the box he’s built around himself in an effort to keep being everyone else’s safety net. It even plays into his unique magic and how it’s revealed to us! He doesn’t go to any effort to hide what it does, and willingly uses it to change the flavor of their dessert when Cater asks him. As far as anyone else is aware, Doodle Suit is a harmless trick incapable of causing any real harm.

But then he uses it to overwrite the spells of one of the most prodigious and powerful mages that attends their school.

He clearly knew what it was capable of for quite a while before he used it like this too, given the ease with which he deploys it in action. He’s a total wolf in sheep’s clothing; but for whom he chooses to play the harmless woolen prey, the sharp-toothed predator under the moon, and the protector of the pack changes from moment to moment. It seems to depend on whether it’s his own personal desire or his built in response to put the people around him above himself that takes precedence. But the vast majority of people he interacts with don’t end up ever realizing this about him because of how his motivations manifest. He doesn’t want trouble, so he prevents trouble from being able to occur in the first place by getting in the way to solve it.

His image is his mask, and his cage.

[glass-warehouse]

Saganu.... urrahhhggh

Saganu's actual name, and just himself in general, has been bugging me since I got around to cleaning up my Chiss Name-maker spreadsheet. I’m blaming the SWTOR writers (sorry guys) over this. I know they just needed to give him a name – no backstory required. 

In any case, I'm going to break it down myself. Through a poor hodgepodge combination of Legends and Canon. 

Unfortunately, this also involves me going over his position, a lot. I know it might seem irrelevant, but I hope you understand why I had to mention it by the end. 

This goes out to all the Saganu fans. I think there are only four of us...

Intro: 

When you first meet Saganu, he is both a commander in the CEDF/CDF and Aristocra of House Miurani. I cannot begin to tell you how difficult this makes things. First off, I don't think this is allowed. The whole deal with the CEDF is that they serve the Ascendancy as a whole, and not just one Family. Families tend to have their own fleets or Phalanxes for things like that. 

Right then, let's break this down. Get ready for a ramble. 

Rank: Aristocra 

Legends and Canon do not agree on the position of an Aristocra. 

In Canon, this is like, the lowest rank of political importance you can hold within a Family. I'm aware there is also 'The Aristocra', an organisation within the Syndicure (Parliament) that holds a lot of power. But, man, we are not getting into that. And I don't think that's what the writers meant when they made him an Aristocra. 

In Legends, Aristocra is a very high rank. To the point where they can represent themselves as the head on behalf of their Family. Is that not wild? They aren't officially the head of the Family, but they can just say they are and everyone accepts it. 

In Saganu's case, this is very hard to settle on. He is both more important than Canon rank but less than Legends. I'm more inclined to place him toward Legends, simply because of the promotion he receives later. But why the fuck is someone that important just kinda chilling on some secret Hoth base, with limited manpower, and asking Imperial Intelligence for assistance, I will never know. 

Rank: Commander 

In Canon, Commander isn't even a valid rank... There are four different versions of 'Commander' in the CEDF, and Saganu's is never specified. I think the writers just wanted him to sound important. 

In Legends, we have almost nothing to go off, especially at this point in history for the Ascendancy. I believe that when the story was written, the writers were basing the structure of the CEDF as if it was the same as the Imperial Navy - as there is a Commander rank. In the Navy, Commander is the 5th highest position, making it a little more than midway through the ranks. I'd say that about tracks with what we expect at this point in the story, our character's position, as well as how Saganu acts and is treated. 

Again, placing him is difficult. I'm just going to say that Saganu is a Senior Commander. At least this way he has a proper CEDF rank... and it’s the best option I can fit him into. 

Further Notes: 

I'm aware that in-game, Saganu is only ever mentioned to be the Base Commander of Zero Station - quite frankly, I'm already having a bad time with this as it is, so I'll be ignoring this entirely. 

There is nothing I can find that suggests that Saganu was a commander and then became an Aristocra, or vice versa. Both facts are presented at the same time as if they are both currently true. And besides, he's known as 'Aristocra' Saganu, not Commander. 

This would be a lot easier if both ranks were on equal standing - but they're not. 

Canon - Aristocra < Senior Commander 

Legends - Aristocra > Senior Commander 

Roles and Names: 

REGARDLESS of Saganu's rank when you meet him on Hoth, he should have introduced himself with his full name. And, as I'll get to at the end, his core name would've been different. 

Chiss naming convention, and all the ways it can change, is bad enough already to wrap your head around. What's important is that Saganu did NOT hold a high enough position either politically or in the CEDF, that it would have had an impact. 

Politically, it doesn't matter how important you are, whether that's being an Aristocra or Patriarch, your rank doesn't change your name. 

In the CEDF, only those who held the rank of Commodore or higher (all Flag Officer positions) would have their names altered. 

(For any that don't know - when Officers are promoted to a Flag rank, they are stripped of their Family name. This is to ensure that they serve the Ascendancy proper, and prevent any biases toward their Family ties.) 

Saganu's position of Senior Commander is not a Flag rank - therefore, his name should remain unchanged. 

HOWEVER! - this does change when you meet him again after Knights of the Eternal Throne. 

Traitor Arc: 

When Saganu visits the Alliance, he tells the Commander that he is now 'Supreme Commander of the CEDF', because of how he handled the invasion of the Eternal Empire. *** 

AGAIN, 'Supreme Commander' is NOT a rank in either the CEDF or the Imperial Navy - the writers really did pull this one out of their arse. 

Anyway, this rank signifies him as the head of the CEDF. He's the one who oversees all of the CEDF's military operations. To be more Canon accurate, this rank would be 'Supreme Admiral'. I'll continue to refer to it as such. 

Supreme Admiral is a FLAG OFFICER rank, so this WOULD alter his name. 

What I am going to ignore is that in-game, Saganu is still referred to as Aristocra and that the mail he sends the Commander once all is sorted is also under the same rank. At this point in time, he CANNOT be an Aristocra - as mentioned before, Supreme Admiral is a Flag rank, so he cannot hold any Family ties. 

Now, here's what you've been waiting for. 

Meeting on Hoth: 

Full name - Miurani'saga'nuru 

Core name - Isagan, Nisaganu, Nisagan, Isaganu 

I've listed all possible variations for his core name. So, you can decide what you like best, as they are all technically correct. 

After KOTET: 

Full name - Saga'nu 

Core name - Doesn't need one. 

If you are looking at 'nuru' and thinking, "Oh like, nuruodo? Like Thrawn?" the answer is YES. 

Nuru is the default spelling. The 'odo' part is an honorary suffix he received. 

Because I'm running out of steam, here's an excerpt about it:  

"The Stybla honouring ceremony, also known as the Stybla honouring ritual and the odo ceremony, was a ritual in which the Stybla family conferred the suffix "odo" onto the name of an honoured individual ... this was typically only awarded to those of House Stybla, though a few non-Stybla have gone through the ceremony." 

And, YES, this is considered Canon - though it originated from the books, so don't hold out any hope you'll ever hear it mentioned in Disney SW. 

Any Stybla Family SWTOR toons out there, take note! 

And that’s a wrap... phew... 

God, if you've read this all the way through you deserve a fucking pat on the back, seriously. 

*** I realise that it's roughly 12 years until you see Saganu again after Hoth, but this motherfucker only really got promoted around KOTFE, over the 5-year time skip. 

It's hard for me to write in words how OBSURD it is that he went from Senior Commander to fucking SUPREME ADMIRAL. IN FIVE YEARS. 

I realise that he may have had other promotions over the other 5, 6, or 7, years that are unaccounted for, but the jump he made to Supreme Admiral is ridiculous.

This is the equivalent of being an Area Manager in retail to becoming the CEO, in the space of 5 years. 

The SWTOR writers love to always go bigger and better. And then they have to write themselves back down again because they went too big. 

All they had to imply was that Saganu was promoted. We already know he's important, okay SWTOR? You can calm down. Nobody (other than me) is paying attention to what title he has. 

[jelly-fish-wishes]

Finished the game…and I have SO MANY THOUGHTS!!!!

Spoilers below!

Gameplay was standard for an RPG. Bros moves new and old were great! But there were other features that were great, like the second camera in the Fake Mushroom Kingdom! That was an amazing mechanic that was unfortunately used for that one moment. Luigi selecting with the A button is still a thing that bothers me, but it doesn’t affect the game and story, so it gets a pass. Exploration was fun! Everything felt balanced to me and the story was PHENOMENAL! Now for the story…

The game WAS DEFINITELY a little slow at first, but it took its time to give us a little world building before we got to the REALLY good parts starting with Desolatt Island and the introduction of Zokket.

Boy was HE a real menace. Intimidating. We didn’t know his motives until the end of the second ACT. And by then, his motives were beginning to reveal themselves to be strange. What was the point of secluding everyone? Being purposefully forgetful of the names of his allies and enemies?

The Extension Corps were not just likable. They were LOVEABLE!!! Ten with his “similar to Fawful’s arc, but not quite” complex, Ecks being the little twat that he is, and Shun being the silent, but smart and brawny one, uuughhh they’re all great. And their battle was definitely one of the most memorable of them all!

Team IDLE was adorable. At first I thought they’d be trouble makers, but they were quite the opposite. I kinda wish they’d stop with the obesity jokes with Ellow. And Loog was…just there ngl. Their bond with Peach was great tho!

Starlow.

I’m kidding, she was mostly there for cameos and references to other games, other than that she had no reason to be there. It would have been wrong to not include her anyway. She was an important character in the previous games, so her absence would have caused an uproar the way people wondered why Toadsworth was gone after a certain point in the entire franchise.

I can see how they really wanted to bring back the Firebrand and Thunderhand, but couldn’t for some reason, so they replaced them with the Firebrand and Ice Flowers. And PERHAPS the Thunderhand was ALSO replaced with Luigi’s Bros Attack “Zapperator.” I wonder why they couldn’t bring it back. If they did, would Heatfreeze, Skorcheen and Slippenglide have had Fire and Thunder Concordians instead? I get excited thinking about it.

Bowser coming in to kickstart the 3rd ACT was EXCELLENT! The action, the cinematography, the way Bowser changed targets the minute he saw the Bros. This koopa was a major inconvenience in a good way. Besides, if it wasn’t for him, we wouldn’t have found the Great Conductor, who I assume is the one who can technically go in and out of the Warp Zone AT WILL without a pipe! His attack in the Bros Attack says a lot about his abilities hehehe.

The reveal of Zokket as Cozette came as a surprise to me since Zokket calls himself a HE while Cozette is a SHE. Bro got so brainwashed that she forgot her own pronouns (this isn’t my joke, but it’s still true). Cozette showing remorse over actions beyond control made me attached to her. And then we are introduced to the one and lonely only: RECLUSA. OH BOY DO I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ON TUIS BASTARD.

Reclusa, Reclusa…where do I even BEGIN???

He is the MOST SUCCESSFUL Villain in the franchise. He has destroyed countless of worlds and plans to keep going. He got a reaction out of Mario because he not only threatened the Mushroom Kingdom, but the entire world it’s on. The last time I saw Mario react in such an emotional manner was when had to leave Luigi behind with Dimentio in Super Paper Mario.

Speaking of SPM, can we talk about the similarities with it and Brothership? Villain is a guy in a tophat with three minions. Minions are beloved by everyone in the fandom. True villain is a zesty frilly bastard who disposes the one in a tophat and uses plants to control people and becomes a giant freak monster boss in the end and dies by the hands of love and friendship??????? History repeats itself…and I’m happy about that.

But…the ending…holy cow…

Reclusa clinging to what life he had left in him felt very somber. He had no regrets and yet he seemed remorseful in the way he was stuttering. His death…kinda hurt a little…kind of a shame he is definitely a character we’ll never see again like Dimentio or Fawful.

I was also expecting Cozette to purposely stay behind because of the guilt she had. Was it just me? No? Hmmm.

Also

I knew they were going to say goodbye but I suppose deep down I brushed off the idea that they’d never see each other again.

Ireen saying goodbye to Peach???

Or Snoutlet with the Bros…the widdle tear he shed…man……..

Like, man…Junior and Buddy…come on man…OOOUUUGHHH….that one hurt….

This game

Wow

10/10

[cerastes]

When Schwarz was new did people complain about her being too overpowered?

See, I've had this ask for two days, and I wanted to have a good chance to sit down and answer it properly, because it's a good springboard into something I find interesting, the zeitgeist back then and how it has evolved into current, modern Arknights. Let's do a little retrospective.

No, that didn't happen. As to why it didn't happen, well, there's a few factors, the first of which being Schwarz is not overpowered, she's a character with very evident flaws and very evident strengths, and these were, depending on the player, immediately understood or not really considered in depth.

See, Schwarz was the fourth 6* released after launch -- After Skadi, Ch'en, and Magallan, in that order -- and the absurd powerhouses back then were all launch Operators and arguably Ch'en: SilverAsh, Eyja, and Exusiai were the most popular back then, with Ch'en being a conditional potent burst damage dealer (her S2M3 was her main selling point, being an instant helidrop burst of damage that also hit air units). Schwarz was in a place similar to Ch'en in that she was conditional in how she blasted things; she has superior firepower but poor, strict range for a Sniper (back then, we had no such thing as categorized archetypes, so we just came up with nicknames, like "duelists" for what are now Dreadnoughts, "Schwarz-types" for Heavyshooters, "Enmity Guard" for Musha, and many others), and if you wanted to use her big killer skill, S3, she was only going to have a straight line worth of range to hit things.

See, the thing is, being strong wasn't an 'issue' back then. We wanted more and stronger units so we could break the monotony of SilverAsh swish swish, Eyja Volcano Hour, and Warfarin's Apple Pie Combo. A monotony that wasn't a monopoly, mind you, because it definitely wasn't the sole end way to deal monstrous amounts of damage and tackle hard content -- I myself was a dedicated Specter, Saria, and Angelina user -- but it was what practically all guide makers and tier lists suggested. Either way, the demand for Cool Strong New Units was definitely healthy back then, ESPECIALLY by the time of Schwarz' release, since Skadi and Magallan had been rather disappointing for 6*s; Skadi was the sole Abyssal Hunter buff that existed back then (Guard Specter had no Module, thus, no AH Buff), and without Modules or other AH buffs, all she could do was basically S2 Helidrop to kill something or use her S3 probably once per stage to become a raid boss and then sort of just stand there, offering nothing that other units couldn't since things back then were patently not strong enough to need her, as her 3* equivalent, Melantha, was pretty much enough to deal with anything that required a Dreadnought specifically, and you had other, stronger options that did more than JUST deal with strong enemies if a bomb of Skadi's caliber was needed, while Magallan suffered the unfortunate fate of being an early Summoner in a game where super instant DPS came free with your Xbox, leading to the vast majority of people to not really want to learn to play around her expensive Deployment Slot costs and dynamic gameplay, which also necessitated Mastery investment to put out numbers, investment that was not easy to make back then, as Masteries were something you REALLY rationed.

Another very important part as to why Schwarz didn't have to deal with this was because she was the only one of her type. She was a new way to play back then, so no one felt their favorite was threatened; Schwarz and Exusiai filled very different roles, with Exusiai being able to wreck high HP low DEF enemies with ease (which was basically 95% of enemies back then, notably All Bosses Except Big Bob, who has a DEF of 800) while Schwarz had HUGE chunky single hits that were meant to squash enemies even if their DEF was huge, but who ultimately would have less DPS than Exusiai in most cases. What's more, you would use Schwarz in plenty of set-ups anyways because she brought DEF Shred with her kit. People celebrated Schwarz back then because not only was she a cool new unit type, she could bring value to pretty much all sorts of parties with Physical damage, in a way that another unit I've omitted so far could for Arts damage, the support powerhouse of the early, mid, and modern game, throughout the years: Saria.

I make the specific comparison with Exusiai because eventually, the zeitgeist would change: Ash, from the R6S collab, made waves because she was strong, but also because it seemed like she'd steal away Exusiai's place as the Fast Shooter DPS Wrecker Supreme. Time would go on to prove that, no, she would not do that, because Ash is more of a Burst damage unit compared to Exusiai, with immense damage tied to a shorter window and the Stun condition, while Exusiai's DPS window isn't contingent on anything except "Does she do real damage or chip damage". But that was an early sign of things to come: Upstaging.

The initial fears of very strong units had more to do with "this unit is powercreeping an older unit" more than anything. Powercreep is inevitable, doubly so in gacha games where they gotta sell you the PNGs one way or another, and I'll always argue that Arknights has been incredibly good with handling powercreep compared to its peers (and just, as a game in general), but again, it's inevitable, so you end up with situations like Degenbrecher existing and Doctor Manhattan Exploding Ch'en and Irene right into niche uses (Ch'en nowadays being at her best as a support sub-DPS with her Module allowing for great party Offensive/Defensive SP charging, while Irene still has her powerful S1/S2/S1 loop combo with Dorothy) or, you know, Texas the Pale and Yato In A Fur Bikini completely obliterating Phantom out of the face of Terra.

All of this, in my opinion and perception, holds true nowadays: When a unit of a new archetype or playstyle releases and they are very strong, you only hear few people complaining about them being very strong, but when a unit could possibly powercreep an older unit, especially an older favorite, that number increases exponentially. Of course, creatures like Wisadel, Degenbrecher, and Ling exist, which blow other units out of the water entirely, and you've also had units like Surtr or Mlynar who aren't really directly powercreeping any specific units as much as powercreeping entire roles and concepts.

Arknights also does have more content creators now, which I also think worsens matters because they have an obligation and a blood oath to the algorithm to always make a video that goes something like "NEW OPERATOR EXTREMELY BROKEN?????" with a crappy clickbait thumbnail and since [GRUMP ALERT] most Arknights players hate thinking for themselves and love looking at The Content Creator to form their opinions on whether Unit Is Strong Or Not [/GRUMP ALERT], these sentiments, whether legitimate or not, tend to flare up more often. By the way, that's also not a good idea, because everyone thought Gnosis was an easy skip back when he released, and then it turned out Gnosis was cracked, and a shitload of CN players regretted not rolling for him, so hey, sometimes this does result in pretty funny things to occur, as it were.

But yeah, this has been a little retrospective of the zeitgeist throughout the years.

[m1ndbrand]

"all it took was..." — The new President

WARNINGS: Coriolanus Snow is it's own warning(Snow after the 10thGames, 2 years after to be precise); Mentions of death and corpse(small description, nothing big).

SUMMARY: The 12th Hunger Games winner unfortunately fortunately gets the attention of President Snow.

WORDS: 1.384

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the franchise The Hunger Games characters nor do I claim to own them. I do not own any of the images used nor do I claim to own them. I do claim what I wrote and only that.

A/N: If you know the tragedy of Coriolanus by William Shakespeare some names will be recognizable...Also I'm sorry but this chapter won't be the continuation of their little...encounter— but I promise, it's going to happen!

TAG-LIST: @sorry-mrs-jacobs; @phoward89;

MASTERLIST

He was never someone who believed in the stars and whatever they might mean to some people.

It seemed completely idiotic and beneath someone from the level of education, you would get from the Capitol to have this belief that in his humble opinion, of course — was archaic and beneath him.

Fate and stories written on the stars were all but a way of fairy tales being made, a topic on some and even a very important one at that "merging" some characters together like the universe itself deemed them a pair, one in two.

Star-crossed lovers.

How he hated that idea, he couldn't believe he even fed it to—

Let's not dwell on that topic, he had better things to do, like arrange a new Games Maker for the 12th Hunger Games.

Doctor Volumnia Gaul is no more, some freak accident with one or more than one mutt; it wasn't clear, the body was far too mutilated to be recognised by anyone at all if not for the DNA tests and well...the place of the accident, a place only a few people were able to enter and of course Doctor Gaul was one of those people, him included in the small pool.

It was slightly weird however how the mulls were able to break free, the reporters debated it for the first days the case broke daylight, but the theory was quickly suppressed.

After all, mulls were still in being tested and we're highly volatile, their behaviour unstable and unpredictable. And of course, accidents happen.

But the world continues to go around and so shall the Capitol, he needed to find someone and fast. 

He should have looked more into it, the selection that is. But he had more important things in his place, strength the security in the several points of entry on all distractions, the training of the peacekeepers and the change of the uniform like he so petitioned for just to name a few.

The new and young president had more important things to worry about than some person who would probably be soon replaced if so needed.

The theme he chose ,he didn't even try to remember the man's name, was an advanced-looking arena; a sign of the year the Capitol got a new President. Coriolanus liked the idea. It painted his future reign as one that would lead them into the future, lead them into a better time.

It painted him as a good leader.

The reaping ceremony passed without a problem. Some students clearly didn't like something— their tribute lack of attributes to make them win or the idea of having to participate in such 'twisted games' as the rebel-like-youth liked to name his games. He honestly couldn't care less, blue-ice-like eyes looking straight at the screens with a fake polite smile when the camera twists at him, showing his all too polished self composed with a deep red suit and thick coat that made his figure even more imposing than it normally is.

He would soon return to his manor and actually work, the two hours of the opening ceremony put his work ethic behind schedule more than he liked to admit.

There was much to be done to make the Capitol and the Districts into the way he saw fit and Coriolanus shouldn't waste more time than he already has.

Not even a day later he would have the files of everyone who chose to review. For some reason the late president did this— the threat of the Rebels was still very much a problem and he was of course scared shitless by them so all 'useful' information was of course turned into two paper pages that it was his duty to read through.

Coriolanus was just about to skim through them all but the very first file caught his attention, District One female tribute.

Not the girl's image he didn't even look at it properly, he already saw every tribute face on the reaping ceremony... all looked underfed and clearly not fit for an entertaining games in terms of pure brutal strength, the mentors would need to sell them well to the Capitol. No it was her name. Her last name rang a bell.

A big warning bell was inside his head and it made his eyebrows furrow, hand picked up the two-page long file and flipped through the description of her family. Something was amiss, he could feel it in his bones. Something was wrong. 

Coriolanus could almost feel the hunger tearing at his stomach, his small sweaty hand tightly gripping his equally moist cousin's hand as they received the news of his father's death.

His other small hand gripping the files of several names of supposed rebels that could be the reason behind his father's death. Blond hair falls against his sweaty forehead as at that time he didn't understand why he had to read the names of random men.

Brutus.

His hand grips the file on his hand, veins popping up as his eyes skim through the contents of the file, once and then twice. He didn't even sit down, reading in silence for 10 minutes over and over again to look out for another word, sentence, or anything more.

Only two people are still alive from her family— grandmother and little brother, Valeria Brutus and Menenius Brutus, then they got the last name from her grandfather. His hand moves the paper right and left, trying to see if her grandfather's first name was there. But it wasn't. It probably wasn't deemed to be useful information since he is dead. Putting the papers down he turns with a sigh to his window, chin rising as he looks to see all the perfectly arranged garden of pure white roses in the front of his mansion.

No this shouldn't matter. It didn't matter, not now. He got what he wanted he won, the victor. He was still standing with or without his father.

The nostalgic feeling of feeling hungry regrows once again and it makes him nauseous, sharp eyes turning to the face of the girl on the page. She looked like every other girl he reminds himself as he starts a little too long at her face. Eighteen, one more year and she should have been safe from the reaping.

A smile creeps on his lips. Amusement dancing in his eyes like he had just read a good enough joke.

He couldn't sleep.

Coriolanus hated to be in need of something even if it was just a simple pill to go to sleep. He was better than that, he could sleep alone thank you very much.

Couldn't he just get the information he wanted? He could, he had the resources, and he had the needs to if he so pleases, so why not?

No.

No, he wouldn't lose to this...whatever this is, curiosity, need— want to know. Closure.

Maybe that was it. Know the person or people that did this to him. To his family. The people that made him starve and struggle. Envy and step on people that he knew were living better than him, growing to bring them down so he could feel himself high above them all. Know the people that in a way, made him the way he is now.

Rising he presses the inside of his palms to his eyes.

For fucks sake— Shut the fuck up! 

His mouth was open. Eyes shot open and hands grabbing tightly the silk covers, knuckles turning white. Did he shout those words? Wasn't it all in his head? His hands were shaking, face was slightly flushed red from anger.

It's one of those episodes.

Rising he curses under his breath, feet carrying him to one of the small tables with some pills on them. Deep eyes thin as he tried to look into the colours of the various drugs that looked like they were thrown there and he picked a deep purple one in the midst of the rainbow and quickly gulped it down without water.

His attention is caught by the silver-like glow of the moonlight slipping through his windows, blue tired-looking eyes looking up at the sky, they find the stars instead of the moon that sings for attention. Wishing to catch a stray star amidst the ones that stay. Maybe he could catch it as it falls.

With those thoughts, sleep would soon catch him.

Previous

[rynnthefangirl]

Thoughts on Squid Games season 2 (spoilers):

1. That Pentathalon was brutal and one of the hardest games in either season. Seriously if even ONE person chokes you ALL die and it is so easy to choke at games like that under pressure. Should have killed way more people tbh.

Also I have been obsessed with Gonggi since watching that episode. Don’t have the real pieces, but I’ve learned to do level five with dice😎

2. Gi Hun and Player 333 defender, y’all don’t get them like I do🙌

Player 333 ate when he stabbed Thanos, you go pookie🥰

Also Young Mi’s death wasn’t his fault😞

Okay maybe I just think 333 is cute💕🤭

Gi Hun making sacrifices to try to stop the games for good is not and never will be on the same level as the game makers running the games in the first place, wipe that smirk off your face Mr. Frontman😠

Also his plan wasn’t terrible, he just didn’t know 001 was the Frontman. Maybe he should have known they’d try something like that again, but he probably figured they thought they’d beat him when they took out the tracking device. He got so close to the control room and could have won if he wasn’t betrayed!

Gi Hun could have left it all behind but instead he willingly put his life on the line to try to stop the games for good!!! He’s not “playing the hero” he IS a hero!!

I mean I’m not saying he is perfect or makes all right choices, but he has a noble goal.

3. It breaks my heart how different Gi Hun is😢 he was so bright and full of life in S1, now he’s quiet and broken. Powerful character development, but I miss my wife😭

4. Didn’t really think of 457 as a ship while I was watching, but seeing it in the fandom… yeah it’s a good ship. Gotta love a solid hero x villain, and the idea of Jun Ho finally finding the island only to realize his evil brother is psychosexually obsessed with Gi Hun is hilarious😂 457 is a great ship name too.🫰

5. I miss Sae Byeok💔

6. Player 120 and Player 149 carried this season, I’m glad they survived and am excited to see more of them!

7. I feel for Dae Ho, but I don’t think I can 100% defend him purely because he should not have volunteered to go back for the ammo. Like his reaction is totally understandable and looked like a PTSD attack and I don’t blame him in the slightest for getting out of that situation. But let 120 go back for the ammo!!! She already volunteered and she had it!!!

Although in his defense the others really should have seen that he wasn’t in a good state of mind for that mission, so that’s on them as well.

8. Player 390 was the hardest death for me, he was a good dude and Gi Hun has already watched too many friends die😭 to know it was his plan that got him killed is so much worse too.

[waitmyturtles]

SOME GOOD SHOWS THAT I LIKED IN 2023! (AND SOME THAT I DIDN'T)

I watched A LOT of stuff that did not originally air in 2023 by dint of my Old GMMTV Challenge. This list is inclusive of this recognition!

THE BEST SHOW I WATCHED THIS YEAR: HE'S COMING TO ME

I have no other words: this is my favorite Thai BL of all time. Perfect length, perfect plot, perfect celebration of Thai culture, perfect acting, the greatest coming out scene of all time, the BEST of the best BL moms. Perfection.

THE OTHER BEST SHOW I WATCHED THIS YEAR: BAD BUDDY

I don't even want to think about how many words I've written on Bad Buddy this year, but they're well deserved for this REMARKABLE show. I've got a thing for shows by Aof Noppharnach that feature Ohm Pawat, what can I say!

THE MOST INFLUENTIAL SHOW(S) I WATCHED THIS YEAR: LOVE SICK AND SOTUS

The influence of Love Sick and SOTUS can be seen in SO MANY Thai BLs, even through today. Without having watched these two shows to start my OGMMTVC project, I wouldn't have the context for what later shows like Bad Buddy and Theory of Love were commenting on by way of their content and structures. Love Sick in particular was a HELL of a lift -- but I am damn glad I watched it, and I certainly feel nostalgia for it today.

Honorable mentions of influential pieces that had impacts on Thai BLs: Love of Siam and Dew the Movie

MY OTHER FAVORITE OLD SHOWS I WATCHED: UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN AND THEORY OF LOVE

BANGERS!!!

If New Siwaj ever tops Until We Meet Again, I'll fly to Bangkok and give him a gold medal. That long-ass show, 17 EPISODES, I WANTED MORE! OhmFluke's chemistry was great, the story delved SO deeply into historical homophobia and how culture and acceptance changes over time -- scrumptious. Theory of Love, man, the way this show ate up implicit compassion bias and gave it right back to us. I loved it. KHAI FOREVER!

THE BEST SHOW I WATCHED THAT ACTUALLY AIRED IN 2023: MOONLIGHT CHICKEN

Not only was Moonlight Chicken my first real live fandom experience on Tumblr, it was a hell of an amazing show, incorporating so much of what I love particularly about Thai BLs, and how many Thai BLs do not shy away from celebrating Asian cultural touchpoints. From exploring Jim's internalized homophobia by way of his rural upbringing, to juxtaposing Pattaya's spiritual symbols with growing development that upends older strains of local culture, Moonlight Chicken offered a lovely commentary on what it means to be queer in an ever-changing Thailand.

THE OTHER BEST SHOW I WATCHED THAT ACTUALLY AIRED IN 2023: WHAT DID YOU EAT YESTERDAY?/KINOU NANI TABETA? SEASON 2

BRILLIANTLY ACTED by literally the best actors in the Asian BL game: we are blessed that Nishijima Hidetoshi and Uchino Seiyou have given so much to this franchise. It's hard to write about this show because it's so perfect -- it needs no extraneous words. Plot, pacing, acting, character development, gratuitous food shots. It has it all.

THE OTHER OTHER BEST SHOW I WATCHED THAT ACTUALLY AIRED IN 2023: I CANNOT REACH YOU

Just like Bad Buddy looked at Thai BL tropes in the eye and said, "over my Nong Nao," I Cannot Reach You asked Japanese BLs about the efficacy of almost every trope we've gotten used to, and questioned them with efficiency. The biggest shocker for me? REAL COMMUNICATION, encouraged by the CIPHER, Hosaka, that allowed the two lead protagonists to confirm their love and understand each other. It was straightforward and FUCKING GOOD.

A SHOW THAT AIRED IN 2023 THAT I HAVEN'T WRITTEN ABOUT YET, THAT I NEED TO REWATCH IN CHRONOLOGY, THAT ALSO DID SOME TROPE/GENRE ASS-KICKING THAT I'M STILL THINKING ABOUT: LA PLUIE

La Pluie was FEARLESS. The show had a LOT to say about romance and soulmates not being as much of a realistic thing as content-makers... and, frankly, majority society would like us to think. La Pluie made its characters WORK for love and understanding, and had us viewers face our implicit biases about how romantic content should and could work. I watched this show out of order of the OGMMTVC watchlist to see it it was one of the best of the year, and it certainly is. I'm planning a deep rewatch for early 2024 to pen my words on it.

A SHOW THAT ALMOST TOPPED MY 2023 LIST BUT GOT DOCKED BECAUSE I ENDED UP LIKING THE NOVEL A LOT BETTER: I FEEL YOU LINGER IN THE AIR

@neuroticbookworm and @lurkingshan know that I flipped THA FUCK out over this show -- FABULOUSLY acted by Nonkul Chanon and Bright Rapheephong, FABULOUS cinematography, great story up until the end of the series. My fangirling led me to read the original novel by Violet Rain, and -- I found out that Jom was a lot more damn sassy than we got in the show! Tee Bundit's penchant for sadness won. This is not to dock the show, but the novel had more than enough material to carry the series through without repeating themes in the end. So it fell on my 2023 list, womp womp. BUT I STILL LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS SHOW, DON'T GET ME WRONG.

TWO SHOWS THAT I'M SUPER GLAD I CAUGHT UP WITH WHILE THEY WERE AIRING: THE EIGHTH SENSE AND BE MY FAVORITE

Be My Favorite looked at Krist Perawat's checkered past as a BL idol and said: we are going to examine this and make an honest BL out of inspiration from it. It wasn't a perfect show, the time travel shit didn't end up adding up in the end, BUT -- excellent acting from two GMMTV VETS made up for those tangles, and I loved the contextual philosophical references throughout the series. The Eighth Sense looked at the tug-of-war that Korean BLs have with K-dramas and their tropes and said, actually? We will have these dudes full-frontal kiss, and placed that energy against commentaries on mental health, both topics that Korea hasn't quite embraced as quickly as other countries.

HONORABLE MENTIONS OF OTHER AWESOME SHOWS THAT MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE AIRED IN 2023

Make It Right, Our Dating Sim, Dark Blue Kiss, Gay OK Bangkok, Dirty Laundry, 10 Years Ticket, I Told Sunset About You, I Promised You the Moon, 3 Will Be Free, Lovely Writer (underrated?!), Our Skyy 2 x Bad Buddy x A Tale of Thousand Stars (UNDERRATED!), and Manner of Death.

And the shows that are airing that I know will stay with me well into 2024: Last Twilight and Cherry Magic Thailand.

I had fun!

WHAT ELSE, WHAT ELSE: THE "NO" SHOWS: THE PROMISE AND STEP BY STEP

I'm not even hyperlinking my thoughts on these shows, nor gifting them with gifs. Insert Bugs Bunny NOOOOOO gif here! We got Man Trisanu, though.

THE SHOW I WAS THE MOST OBVIOUSLY DISAPPOINTED BY: ONLY FRIENDS

Despite my passionate disappointment for this show and how it ended: in the context of the OGMMTVC, Only Friends is still an incredibly important inclusion to the list. Some amazing Tumblr bloggers offered commentary that the bias against sex that OF contained within the show was actually importantly and culturally contextual to the still-conservative state of acceptance that Thailand is currently in (here and here for more reading).

Only Friends reminded us that despite any kind of marketing that we here on Tumblr, as a majority non-Thai audience, may receive about a Thai show -- that we are still not fully plugged into the non-verbal expectations of what a show like OF could promise to do, and to be okay when it doesn't reach those heights. In light of the seemingly pro-sex marketing blasts that previewed the series before its airing, OF ultimately seemed to want to take casual sex, chew it up, and spit it out. There might be reasons why that happened that we just don't know about as outsiders to Thailand. But as an Asian-American viewer that was hoping for neutral -- and maybe even supportive -- commentary on single folks having casual sex without judgement, OF did not deliver for me.

I'm ending the year reading Dr. Thomas Baudinette's book, Boys Love Media in Thailand, the first book-length ethnographic study on the impact of BL on queerness, media, and more in Thailand and across Asia. Baudinette comes from the world of Japanese queer media studies -- as someone who came to Thai BLs this year from Japanese BLs, I appreciate his trajectory. It's clearly a necessity for me to read this book in the context of the OGMMTVC, to understand how Thai BLs have changed over time, and to understand the incredibly larger impact of heterosexual/heteronormative media and themes on Thai media as a whole, as larger and larger swaths of Thai, Asian, and international societies welcome and watch BLs with open arms.

All of this feeds into my ever-growing body of knowledge about the impact of Thai BLs, both in Thailand and across Asia, as Baudinette writes about, and how these shows have and are developed/developing over time. It's been an AMAZING YEAR of watching old and new dramas for me, and I'm looking forward to seeing how the genre grows even more in 2024.

I also made AMAZING FRIENDS on Tumblr -- y'all know who you are! What a year of growth and discovery for me: this has been a fabulous experience, and I'm looking forward to even more growth in the new year!

[nadianova]

hey sis (can i call you sis?), do you have any favorite vns you read this year?

yes

yes

heatwave, also known as HEATWAVE MINIMUM WAGE MAXIMUM DEBT, was a punch in the gut figuratively and literally. its such a pretty and polishedl ittle work feeding on the horrors of just how abstract, unfair and arbitrary this world is and how it manifests in the minds of real people. teh visuals the sounds the writing and THE CHARACTERS have given me a lot to thikn about. andi ts hot. its really hot. its really fucking horny in an earnest way taht truly speaks to me. not only has heatwave been so fukken good it has given me a lot of practical and aesthetical direction on how i should remember to consider teh options i have for visual and story presentation when going forwards with my own projects

my second favorite vn i read this year was slime feet and i thikn the writer for that has got to be stalking me or something since the story was lazer focused towards teh exact emotional notes taht have been my life for the past 5 years or so. i couldnt stop sobbing. the texture of horny and tragic and just coming to terms with the cards yovue been given has been on my mind especially this year so tihs one hit even harder. i couldnt stop sobbing. i could not. stop. sobbing. anyway i look forward to more works like this from the makers (also i thikn tihs one too was inspired by heatwave regarding the presentation as well wild how it all connects together)

outside of these two named at teh bottom of my itch io page is a collection of cool games i liked and i updaet it when i run into cool games i want others to see as well

because ive been so busy and overwhelmed and going insane i havent had time to properly play yurijam entries yet ill just say that everyone should check out the submissions and play to find

[xmochaccinox]

Kendratello: An Analysis

What’s up?

I wanted to do an analysis on this ship, and now I'm doing it!

If you are in the Rise Fandom and somehow you have never heard of it, Kendratello is basically a ship between Donnie and Kendra that’s slowly gaining popularity

For as long as I have been in the Rise fandom, I’ve been seeing this ship popping up more and more. By now, it’s almost impossible to meet someone who hasn't heard of the ship, and even though there’s not much content of it, there’s definitely more people who ship it than you think

However, despite the growing popularity, there are still a good chunk of people that hate it for various reasons

But how did it come to be? Where did the ship come from? Why is it so loved by some and hated by others? Well, I’m gonna answer all those questions and even share my own opinions on the ship!

But first a disclaimer!

This analysis is ONLY meant to describe why people like Kendratello or why they don’t like it! Any canon info I bring up will be provided in full context alongside descriptions of how Kendratello shippers may interprete said canon info in order to gain a better understanding of their perspective

Everything I say about the ship is mainly from what I know from the Kendratello content on Tumblr as I don't really use any other social media

I'll also mostly be focused on Kendra because most of the arguments against Kendratello has to do with her

This is NOT meant to be something to persuade or dissuade you from shipping Kendratello!

So let’s get started!

In order to begin, let’s introduce the lovely characters involved in this ship with a brief description

Donatello, also known as Donnie, is a softshell turtle and one of the middle children alongside his twin, Leo

Much like his other versions, Donnie works with tech, but what makes him more unique is that he displays a more mad-scientist-like attitude and has a huge theater kid persona

Kendra is one of the antagonists introduced during the first season. She’s the leader of a computer tech group called The Purple Dragons and specializes in working with computer software, hacking, and modifying

She and her group are basically trouble makers causing various kinds of chaos, to describe them incredibly briefly

So how do they meet?

Donnie and Kendra meet in the episode The Purple Jacket when Donnie sneaks into April’s school to help her with a project. It was there he first noticed the tech club. Well, not really the club, but more the jacket. He then immediately tries to join the club just to get his hands on said jacket by showing off his tech.

Kendra, seemingly impressed, allows Donnie to join and gives him Jason’s jacket. However, it’s revealed that the only reason why she let Donnie join was so she and her group could steal his tech in order to use them to rob various tech stores in order to then steal a code from some very important computer company. Of course Donnie and April stop them and get them arrested. The end

So that’s basically the beginning, now let's go over why someone wouldn't ship it

First thing to get it out of the way, you were ask why someone didn't ship Kendratello, then most of the time, they would say that it’s because of Kendra, so let’s talk about that!

Kendra is a bully. She uses others for her own benefit and causes mischief for her own entertainment, which can range from annoying yet harmless pranks to her getting people hurt

After she stole Donnie’s stuff and he got her arrested, Kendra retaliated by making Donnie think he’s just playing a normal video game when in reality, he’s controlling a giant robot that almost smashed his brothers, and then tries to do so herself when that fails for the sake of seeing Donnie’s reaction

She also convinced Shelldon (Donnie’s robotic companion who was feeling low when they encountered due to an argument he and Donnie had) into participating a deadly race known for causing many drones to get dismantled just to win her the Shadow Transmitter and then yelled at him and ditched him when he failed

And these are only things she did to Donnie. She also yells at and gets physically violent with Jason, and while she does see Jeremy more as an equal, she still snaps at him and shoves him around

She's sadistic, she's cruel. There’s a 50-50 chance that either she’s aware of how bad she is and doesn't care or sees nothing wrong with anything that she does. And judging by how done April seems towards her, and the way Jeremy barely reacts to anything she does, I’m gonna assume that Kendra’s been like this for a while

And yeah, she’s an antagonist, so no shit she’s awful

However, if we wanna play the Canon game, then canonically, Donnie altered his brothers’ minds to make them smarter, he gave Leo a shock collar as a present to “correct” his behavior, he chained up Sheldon as punishment for giving him attitude, and he almost destroyed a town just to prove he’s right

The only difference between the two is that

Donnie did feel remorse for all of them and tried to fix it to the best of his ability. Kendra on the other hand doesn't really show all that much remorse for what she does and has full intentions of doing it again if she ever gets the opportunity (and she has, multiple times)

I am purposefully leaving what Donnie did out somewhat of context just to make him look as bad as Kendra (specifically their intentions behind their actions)

(And just to get it out of the way, Jeremy and Jason are both just as bad as Kendra. Even though Kendra, for the most part, treats them like trash as well, they still willingly go along with what she wants)

However, there are others who don’t ship it because Kendra reminds them of someone in real life and it makes them uncomfortable

Now, I just wanna say that if you feel uncomfortable with Kendratello due to this, I completely understand

I also want to say that even if you don’t know anyone that Kendra makes you think of, it’s still okay to be uncomfortable with the ship. You do not need a reason why to not like a ship, and if anyone has a problem with that, that’s on them

So with that in mind, it’s completely understandable why anyone would dislike the ship. Based on the evidence, they would be an extremely toxic relationship. You’d have to be absolutely INSANE to even think this is a good ship, right?

Well… Here’s the thing

Like most ships in existence, you gotta have the art of interpretation and shutting off the canon brain, especially when it comes to Kendra

Sure, there are still some things that makes Kendra, Kendra, like her working with tech, her being super smart, her going by a purple theme, and sometimes she’s still a menace (depending on the story)

And the other thing you need to know is that Kendra, just like all the other non-important villains in Rise, is pretty much a one-dimensional character. Her character is literally just a bully who’s the leader of a tech club that's constantly after devices that can hack any computer. Other than a few things, we barely know that much about Kendra, so there’s room for people to add their own personal headcanons and stuff

And it's not like Kendra is going to be evil 24/7, which gives people a change to give Kendra more traits to be more than just that as well exploring the potential reasons she is the way she is

Basically what happens 90% of the time is that most of Kendra’s negative traits are turned into positive ones. For example, take the fact that she's manipulative, arrogant, insensitive, bossy, and aloof, and turn them into charismatic, confident, honest, assertive, and reserved. These are all words that have different associations, but they basically mean the same thing

And Kendra is usually either

Given some kind of tragic backstory (usually revolving around her parents getting a divorce)

Given a redemption arc

Given more likable traits

Most of or all of the above

There’s also a good chance that the Kendratello story someone is sharing either takes place after the series or it takes place in an AU, so of course the characters are going to be a little/very different. Although sometimes you'll find stories that take place before or during the series. Many people have their own ideas on how Kendratello would go. Though usually what I talked about above is often the formula used. You just gotta find the right story, or make your own story of how you think Donnie and Kendra would fall in love and eventually get together!

And keeping with the themes Rise has of being lighthearted, it’s pretty fun and hilarious to imagine those two bickering one minute and then making out the next. It’s pretty easy to see a bit of a slow-burn enemies to lovers where Kendra and Donnie both slowly realize that oh no, they’re totally into each other, but won’t say anything because of their pride and all that. So there’s the drama, the tension, the idea of will they, won’t they?

Plus, come on, lots of us love a good Enemies To Lovers story with some Slow Burn on the side

And imagine those two going on a date by committing various crimes and half the city is destroyed because of them and then they watch the news talking about what they did while cuddling and holding their new pet cat that they randomly got at some point

Overall, most of the time the story is about two messed up individuals who end up finding peace with each other. They feel like they're the only ones that can understand each other, and they hate it, but at the same time, they don't mind

However, that’s just one side of the ship

I said it in another post I made, but if we look at the ship through another viewpoint, the side that leans more towards the toxic side of the ship, then Kendra is the embodiment of Donnie’s deepest fears and insecurities

The biggest thing people tend to overlook about Donnie is that he cares very much about being useful to the people he loves. It’s why he behaved the way he did in Witch Town, because he’s terrified that if magic can do what he does but better, then no one will need him anymore

Meanwhile Kendra is someone who will very much jump at a chance to take advantage of anything that will benefit her, especially if it has anything to do with Donnie

Donnie is the provider, and Kendra is the exploiter

Those two are perfect for each other in the worst way possible and horrible for each other in the best way possible

And I will mention too that are things that happen in canon that people interpret to be Kendratello moments, or they say could be used as evidence for Kendratello

Kendra blowing a kiss to Donnie (The Purple Jacket: She does this before attempting to leave Donnie to deal with his tech turning against him (which she hacked) to go rob the world bank)

Donnie saying that “Cute but mean” is his type (War and Pizza: He says this while getting stomped on by a tomato animatronic, saying, “Oh you’re so cute, but so mean! Why do I always go for your type?!” before proceeding to electrocute it)

Donnie and Kendra flirt whenever they interact (purely interpretation)

Donnie wanting to join the Purple Dragons because he has a crush on Kendra (also purely interpretation)

Now my thoughts on the actual ship? Eh, it’s complex

I see them as a Doomed to Fail type. They would most likely end up in some kind of a codependent relationship because of their biggest flaws, and I can see the official break up being extremely messy on both sides (since I 100% see them taking several “breaks”). Then after a couple years, things are back to normal, with Donnie and Kendra being rivals, only this time they have a respect for each other and they even help each other out if the other person needs it. And even though they still have some feelings for each other, they choose to remain as exes because they don’t want to risk falling back into old habits

On the other hand, I’m frankly tired of the whole, “Bad Person’s Not Actually Bad, They’re Just Misunderstood And Need Someone Who Understands Them” thing

And before anyone tries telling me about Kendra dealing with her parents having a divorce

We don’t know what exactly happened during the divorce between her parents. There’s no cookie cutter reaction to how a teenager would react to their parents having a divorce no matter how well or badly it's handled

The only time Kendra ever brought up the implications that her parents are divorced was when Jason failed to get the Shadow Transmitter. She told him that she wished her father never married his mother, which implies the only reason why Jason is part of the Purple Dragons is because he’s her step-brother. So basically she’s telling him that if she could kick him out then she would

Now, I’m not saying Kendra’s dad and stepmom are the perfect parents, because clearly they’re not with what I’ve mentioned so far, but still

And don't get me wrong, I'm on team Purple Dragons Get A Redemption Arc, I just see it happening more in a way where they become anti-heroes because they got bored of going after the same goal over and over again

Alright, those are all of my opinions

So, overall, do you have to ship Kendratello? No

Is it one of the more complex ships? Oh yeah

Did me rewatching every single scene Kendra is in over and over again in order to describe how she is in canon make it really hard to make this whole thing without being biased? Most definitely

But really, the reason why people ship Kendratello? It’s just for fun!

I know some people in every fandom tend to take shipping and their head canons way too seriously for some reason, but here? It’s genuinely just for fun

That’s all I have to say, but hopefully you now know more about it! Again, if you don’t ship it cause it makes you uncomfortable, that’s okay! But it doesn't give you an excuse to harass those that do. If it bothers you so bad, then the block button is right there. People have their own ideas of how the ship would go and their own reasons why they like it

If you got any questions or something to say, don’t hesitate to send them my way. I can’t guarantee that I’ll get to all of them, but I’ll do my best!