#Also I feel like teenagers in their first relationship are never graceful they are all goofs and that's how it should be

[backpackingspace]

Okay yes odysseus absolutely fumbled first meeting with penelope. He was an absolute goof. Tripping over himself, blushing, loosing games because penelope waved at him, getting caught mid lie ect ect

But have we considered penelope was equally a mess?

[akutasoda]

Not sure if this will make it to the final slot but Requesting S/o has a crush on their boyfriend (Cyno, Kazuha, Kinich?) what I mean, their super inlove with them to the point just being in their present made them giddy. coming up to their boyfriend, asking them if they love them, inlove with them. And when they said yes they immediately get giddy and ran away out of flusterednees before coming back watching them from afar. S/o just admire them, still thinking it's a dream to actually to be with them.

your really mine aren't you?

synopsis - even thoigh your dating, you still cant help but feel like you have a crush on them

includes - kazuha, cyno, kinich

warnings - gn!reader, fluff, wc - 743

kaedehara kazuha ★↷

↪he thought it was adorable. it never failed to make him smile when you acted like such a giddy lovesick teenager with a crush, despite the fact you two were in fact dating already. even something as simple as being beside him in day to day activities could have you giggling and staring at him with such affection that it seemed infectious as he couldn't help but also have a lovesick smile on his face.

↪kazuha would always entertain your little antics as well. he noticed how you would occasionally come up to him and ask if he loved you and eventually, everytime you did so, he’d give you a poem and tell you to ���gift it to the one he loved the most”. you knew it was for you and it only served to make you even more infatuated with him.

↪another small habit he picked up was when he noticed you staring at him from a distance. he’d always make an effort to either look over to you and smile or would purposefully start “showing off”. it wouldn't be anything major but it would be small things that he knew you enjoyed seeing him do. kazuha would always slightly laugh silently to himself when he watched you run off in embarrassment for being caught staring at him.

↪admittedly, he basked in the fact that you saw being with him as a dream. kazuha loved you just as much and would never fail in reminding you that he never thought he’d end up with someone as great as you either.

cyno ★↷

↪at first, he never really understood why you always acted so giddy around him. why you always acted like you had a crush on him even though you two were actually dating. it confused him in all honesty but he never really asked you directly why you acted like that.

↪it wasn't that he didn't find it endearing, sweet even, it just confused him. especially when you’d randomly ask him if he loved you like you loved him and flustered when he responded with a yes - sometimes even running away for a while before coming back like nothing happened. it took him a while to realize that you just adored being with him that much.

↪even simply being around cyno was enough for you to start being giddy. how did you end up with him? the answer alluded you but you were sure grateful you were. you couldn't help but admire him and you could more so when you actually were dating him.

↪although, beware that when he does finally realize just why you acted like a lovesick fool, you will always get a corny joke from him when you act in such a way around him. even though you still loved him and his awful jokes just as much.

kinich ★↷

↪while ajaw may be so utterly confused about your behavior, kinich himself saw it as rather adorable. admittedly, it did confuse him at first but he quickly understood why and when he realized, it didn't fail to make a rather lovesick smile grace his face.

↪it certainly brightened his day when he heard you practically swooning over him. if anything, he should be the one grateful to have someone like you in his life and yet with how you acted around him, it made you seem like the only one invested in the relationship - which wasn't true, kinich treasured you dearly, he was just less expressive than you.

↪he always made sure to respond to your questions of “do you love me?” and such with his one hundred percent truth and more. even if he wasn't as obvious in his admiration for you through his expressions, he made up for it with his words and indulging you with your giddy lovesick questions and actions.

taglist - @little-miss-chaoss, @frankiesteinn

[littleprinces]

712 Times

(Weeekly Han Jihyo x Male Reader, A lot of Degrading, Rope Play, Pet Play, Vibrator, Nipple Clamps, Daddy kink, titfucking, Idol Jihan)

(this is my first collab with @smutoperator)

Happy Jihan Day!

In the dimly lit backstage of a bustling concert hall, excitement and anticipation filled the air. The stage was set for our highly anticipated comeback showcase, and I could hear the eager fans waiting on the other side of the curtain. Amidst the scattered crew members and bustling assistants, I stood there, my heart racing with a mixture of pride and longing. My girlfriend, Jihan, the enchanting idol, was out there performing with her group.

 

Tonight was special. After months of preparation, sweat, and tireless dedication, my girlfriend and her five group members were making their grand return to the spotlight. The thought of her captivating presence on stage brought a smile to my lips, but it also reminded me of the distance fame had placed between us. Yet, I cherished these moments when I could be near her, even if only from the shadows.

 

The muffled cheers of the audience reached my ears as the performance began. I could almost see her in my mind—her bright smile, graceful movements, and sheer charisma that made her an idol adored by many. As each song concluded, the applause grew louder, affirming the group's triumphant return. Time seemed to stretch endlessly, but finally, the showcase came to an end. The stage lights dimmed, and the audience's applause gradually faded.

 

I took a deep breath, my anticipation growing. Moments later, the backstage area buzzed with activity as the performers filed in, surrounded by their entourage. And then I saw her—my girlfriend, her face glowing with the exhilaration of the performance. As the performance ended and the backstage area buzzed with activity, I finally saw her making her way towards me. Her face lit up as she spotted me, and I couldn't help but smile back.

 

"You were amazing out there," I said, pulling her into a tight hug. She laughed softly, a little out of breath. "Thank you. I could feel your support the whole time." "I wouldn't miss it for the world," I replied, brushing a strand of hair from her face. "You always shine so brightly." She blushed, leaning in for a quick kiss. "It's because I have you cheering me on. It makes all the difference."

 

We lingered in each other's arms for a moment longer before I asked, "Ready to head home?" She nodded eagerly. "Absolutely. Let's get out of here." Hand in hand, we made our way through the backstage chaos, slipping out to the quiet comfort of her apartment. In the car, she sighed contentedly. "I missed this. Just being with you, without all the noise."I squeezed her hand. "Me too. Let's make the most of tonight." As we reached her apartment and settled in, the world outside seemed to fade away, leaving just the two of us.

Jihan's new blonde hair made her look so hot it felt like she was 712 times more fuckable with it. Her 20th birthday was just a couple days away, so I felt like it was the perfect time to show her how much I wanted it and turn her into my personal pet. I tied her ankles and cuffed her hands, ready to dominate her and make her transition from an innocent teenager into a full-fledged slut. She had never ventured into this kind of relationship before, but I could tell she was really excited to try it.

I picked up a crop and gave Jihan's pussy a few taps that made her moan, teasing her on the apartment's couch as I quickly pulled her panties to the side. "Put your tongue out," I told her, giving it a few taps. After a few light hits in her clit, I took her bra off and started spanking her big tits with it, having fun with her sexy young body, before switching to using my own hands to grope her tits and finger her perfect pussy.

"I'm just teasing you, there is much more to come," I told Jihan, giving her body a few spanks. "What do you want little whore?" I asked her. "I want this fucking cock," she said with a soft voice. I answered her wishes, unzipping my pants for her to suck it, giving her back some light taps as Jihan slowly got my cock wet with her sloppy blowjob that made her tits bounce freely, while I reached to tap them from time to time.

"I see you like to take that cock deep in your throat; you suck it so good," I told her. I grabbed Jihan by her beautiful blonde hair, reaching to get a whip as she took my cock all the way down her throat. Shortly after, I started spanking her and then moved to fuck her pretty face. "You like that?" I asked her. "Ahhhh, yeah," Jihan moaned. "Say it." I increased the speed of the spanking, hitting her back multiple times. "Oh, I love it, Daddy," Jihan replied.

"Be a good girl; get on your knees on the couch and show me those tits," I demanded of her. Jihan gave me a cute stare and squeezed her big boobs between her tied-up arms. "What do you want, Jihan? My big cock after the showcase?" I asked her. "Yes, please, Daddy, please put it between my tits," she begged. 

I did just that and started banging Jihan's big boobs. Quickly, I got back to spanking her. "Yes, yes, please, Daddy, spank me; I'm a bad girl, i'm your private whore" Jihan says, her eyes begging for me to dominate her as my meat got sandwiched between her big pair of tits. "Keep going, keep going, bounce those big tits in my cock," I said to her.

I show Jihan not only can I spank it with my whip, using my cock to hit her tits. "You like the way I treat your big tits?" I asked her. "Yes, daddy," she says. "You want that big dick inside you, Jihan?" I keep asking. "Please, Daddy," she says. "Maybe later, I'll think about it, but you'll have to deserve it," I tell her.

I tie Jihan to the couch's leg and start eating her pussy. "Don't cum, bitch, or you're not going to get my cock for tonight," I tell her. Her pussy turns into my playground as I massage it while kissing her and sucking her big milkers. My hands go deep down in her cunt, and soon I bring a cock-shaped vibrator into the mix, putting it on Jihan's mouth. "Get it wet; you'll have to take it your pussy to show me you deserve my cock," I tell her.

I move the vibrator into Jihan's entrance, slowly tucking it in her pussy as I turn it on, making her moan hard. I also pay special attention to her already erected nipples, massaging and sucking them multiple times as Jihan is already collapsing in pleasure before I even got inside her. Then I use the crop for some extra taps in her boobs to tease her.

I ran the crop around Jihan's thighs, spanking the area close to her pussy. "Count to ten each time I spank it," I tell her. "One, two, three, AHHHHH," Jihan says every time I hit her. I move up and go back to tease her boobs and then play further with the vibrator, turning Jihan into a mess of begging and moaning. "Stay strong. If you cum, you won't get Daddy's cock," I tell her.

After a long warming-up session, I'm finally ready to fuck the brains out of my girlfriend turned pet, removing the vibrator from Jihan's already extremely wet pussy. "Get back on the couch and turn around; I want you to show me that ass," I demand of her. Jihan gets on all fours in the couch, and as soon as she does, I violently whip her butt multiple times. "AH, AH, AH, AH," she screams. "Tell me what you want," I ask her. "YOUR COCK INSIDE ME," she screams.

Jihan's panties get pulled down as I marvel at the view of her perfect ass. More spanking ensues. "Little Slut wants my cock inside of her?" I keep asking. "YES, DADDY, GIVE ME ALL OF IT," she begs, screaming again. "Why do you want it?" I keep teasing. "Because it's so good, I want to be a good pet for Daddy, his little big tit cocksleeve," Jihan replies.

"Then take it," I say, putting my cock on Jihan's pussy and pounding her hard on all fours. "YES, FUCK ME, FUCK ME, FUCK ME," she screams as I dominate her and spank her back and ass with my bare hands. Jihan's pussy get mercilessly fucked, her big boobs already bouncing hard. I treat her like a fleshlight. "Spank me, daddy, spank me, please," she says as I abuse her asscheeks and quickly make them red, enjoying how far that makes her boobs jiggle.

"OHHHHHHH FUCKKKKKKK," Jihan screams as I keep attacking her pussy hard and deep. Her bouncy tits are such a spectacle, and her needy face even more so. Good lord, I could fuck her for 712 straight hours and never get tired of it.

"Pull my hair, please, Daddy, and spank me more," Jihan begs as I push her hot body closer to mine. That little horny pet keeps getting obliterated as I show no signs of slowing down, giving her tight young pussy the pounding it deserves. "AHHHHHH," Jihan screams again as I do it just as she asks. "You told me to do that; don't complain, little slut," I tell her.

"DADDY, YOU'RE GONNA MAKE ME CUM, OHHHHHHH," Jihan screams. I spank and fuck her even harder when I hear those words, fully mounding on top of her. Face down, ass up like a good slut, I treat Jihan like an object, only useful to get stretched out by my raging boner. She can only moan and scream as her big tits get pancaked against the couch each time I hit her deep in the pussy.

"Come here, little whore, show me how much you want to sit on that cock," I tell her, flipping Jihan back and feeding her face full of cock with no breaks in between. "Good slut, look at those beautiful bouncy tits; you're so good," I say to her. Jihan presses her beautiful, cute face against my cock, and I fully take her panties off and order her to suck my prick as I lie on the couch, spanking her while she does it. "Keep sucking that cock," I tell her as she tries to resist all that spanking.

"Sit that wet pussy in there," I soon demand, spanking Jihan's already red butt as soon as she puts my cock back inside her. Her big, bouncy boobs are already within range as Isuck them every time they come close to my face. "Give those titties to Daddy," I say, quickly taking control as I pound Jihan from down low and attack her tits with my tongue and her ass with my hands.

"Come on, use that cock; show me how much you like it," I tell Jihan, who's never been stimulated like that. "I'M CUMMING, I'M CUMMING, I'M CUMMING," she screams. "Cum all over that fucking cock," I say, pounding her like crazy as Jihan collapses on top of my body. But I don't care and just keep fucking her throbbing cunt, also fingering her asshole to add to the stimulation, making Jihan cover my cock full of juices, using the crop to add to the ass-spanking of her.

I keep fucking Jihan nonstop as she clings onto my arms. She may be on top, but I completely own her. My girlfriend is turned into a free-use fleshlight who can't stop cumming on my cock. "Ride that fucking cock, slut," I demand of her, who bounces her red ass on it like a good slut. "Is that what you want, right little fuckdoll?" I tell her. "YES, DADDY," she replies.

I dive my face into Jihan's udders while she keeps riding my pole, her boobs hitting my mouth from every angle, making me go even more feral as her pussy is fully stretched out. "Stand up on the couch," I tell her as I pull out of her pussy, but my cock gets quickly replaced by my fingers massasing her core and making her squirt fountains of juices right straight into my mouth.

More riding ensues, as I'm now just watching Jihan do it in a straightened position, reaching with my hands and my crop to hit her big bouncy tits at will. Soon, I'm back to hitting Jihan's whole body: her pretty slutty face, her fully shaved pink pussy, her sexy butt, but first and foremost her massive milkers. "KEEP STRETCHING MY HOLES, DADDY," Jihan screams as I do just that.

After I'm done with this round of fucking, I let Jihan taste all the juices she coated my cock with, giving a gift to my cute pet as she bobs her head all over that big shaft. "Choke on that fucking cock," I tell her. "Now give me those tiddies," I quickly demand as Jihan spits between them and uses her boobs to massage my throbbing cock until you shot my load all over them.

"Damn, look at the mess I made on your big milkers," I told Jihan. But I was far from done, picking some clamps and placing them at her cum-covered nipples. "Your day as my pet is just beginning," I said. Next, I placed a dog collar on her neck and gave her an order. "Get on all fours; we're going to a different room, and I'm gonna fuck your even more," I told her. Jihan obeyed and crawled like a puppy until we reached our next destination. 

Waiting for Jihan, there was an X-cross where I tied her up. As I slowly got myself hard again, I sucked her big tits and reached inside her wet pussy, teasing my pet girlfriend. "This is way more entertaining than what I was expecting," I tell Jihan. "Ohhh, yesss, Daddy, you like treating me like your pet?" Jihan asks. "A lot," I say as I start jerking off my cock and quickly get it back to throbbing hard for Jihan.

I slap my cock on Jihan's sexy thighs as I kiss her and finger her core. She starts moaning back again as I lift her left leg and put my cock back in her pussy. "Oh yes, that feels so good," Jihan says as I thrust my cock in and out of her cunt. "Just like that, Daddy," she says. I put her back on her feet and sucked her tits. "Such a good toy," I say.

I pick up the crop back and spank her ass, then tease her boobs and circle it around her nipples; more ass spanking follows as a tied-up Jihan can't do anything to stop me. Her boobs once again get the most attention as I do the sucking and spanking at the same time, before moving down into her pink pussy.

"What are you going to do next, Daddy?" Jihan asks. "You'll find out soon," I tell her. "Please, let me find out, Daddy," an already numb Jihan replies as I tease her clit with the crop. "But first I need to eat," I say, diving into her wet pussy to suck it. "Damn, daddy, that feels so good; I love that tongue," Jihan says.

"Does that pussy taste good enough for Daddy?" Jihan asks as she starts trembling, getting very weak as she's being held at the cross. "All my body is tingling, Daddy," she says as I move up to suck her tits and feed your fingers in her mouth.

"I want to fuck you from behind while you are standing," I tell Jihan. "Yes, Daddy, do whatever you want," she replies. I untie Jihan from the cross as she sucks my cock to get it back wet. "All I want to do is please you, Daddy," she says. "Then please me taking more cock in that pussy," I say, getting behind her and stretching her out once again, loving how the clamps on her nipples are bouncing when I fuck her.

"Is that pussy good enough for Daddy? Nice and wet, like you want it? Am I a good girl, Daddy?" Jihan keeps asking, but I let my thursts do the talk as her pussy starts queefing. "Yes, daddy, please, use my fucking hole," she says as my hips clap against her cheeks.

"Please keep fucking me; I'm Daddy's pet; that cock feels so good; please don't stop; Daddy loves my pussy," Jihan says as I indeed can't stop, giving her the special fucking I craved for, spending long minutes taking her from behind.

Jihan coats the floor with her squirt, and as soon as she does, I take it as a sign to push it harder. I lift Jihan's body up and start carry-fucking her. "OH MY GOD, DADDY," she screams as I attack her pussy while being the only one holding her so she doesn't fall off. "OH DADDY, YOU'RE GONNA MAKE ME CUM AGAIN," an exausted Jihan says. 

"No, you're gonna make me cum," I tell Jihan, brining her back to the couch and putting her sideways. "Your cock feels so good in my tight little pussy, daddy," Jihan says as she gets a good spooning fuck on the couch. After a while, I take her off of it and pin her against the glass, giving her another pounding. "Please, Daddy, give me more," she begs. It seems like I have fucked Jihan throughout the entire apartment at this point, but I just don't want to stop.

More spanking in Jihan's butt follows. "Harder, harder, please fuck me harder, Daddy," she begs, as she can barely stand up at this point. I have fucked her for around 30 minutes, but to her it must have felt like 3 hours considering how hard I have screwed her little pink pussy.

Jihan can barely walk at this point, but that won't stop me from using her for more pleasure. I feed my cock in her face again as I put her tied hands up. "Are you ready for another surprise, little pet?" I ask her. "Yes, daddy," she replies.

I bring a Sybian for Jihan to sit on, taking the controller on my hands. I start slowly, letting the vibrating cock work in her pussy as I watch her get wetter and wetter while I grab her tits. Slowly picking up speed, I put Jihan at the mercy of the machine while I dive her head into my shaft and pinch her clamped nipples. More face-fucking ensues as the sybian now works at full speed inside Jihan's cunt, to the point she can't contain herself anymore. 

"Ride that dick, little whore" I tell her as Jihan quivers with the intense vibration on the inside. My hands massaging her tits, my cock massaging her mouth, the toy massaging her pussy—it's just too much for her to handle as Jihan gets an exploding orgasm that makes her squirt all over the carpet just as she announces she's going to cum.

"AHHHHHHHHHH, AHHHHHHHHH, PLEASSSEEEEEE, FUCKKKKKKK," Jihan screams as she collapses after the intense Sybian massage. But I have one more massage to give her, laying her back on the couch, ready to finish where it all started as I put Jihan under a mating press and intensely pound her pussy. 

"Give me every single massage of that fucking cock, daddy," Jihan says. "I want you to cum inside my pussy; I want you to give me every single drop," she begs. That truly surprises me. Jihan had not taken any birth control pills, meaning she was essentially begging me to impregnate her, and surely I was gonna take the opportunity, emptying my balls inside her shortly after she demands to get her tight pussy filled up.

"That was so good, Jihan; I hope we fuck like that 712 more times," you tell her. "Well, Daddy, my birthday is coming in a few days. I hope you have a special gift for your little pet," she replies.

"You bet I will," I promise her. And you know she can't wait.

Back in Jihan's pussy I go, and she loves it. "Yes, daddy, yes, please, use that pussy for your pleasure; my pussy is all yours," Jihan moans. "I fucked your friend Zoa in that position a month ago for her birthday; her legs were so fucking long and her pussy so fucking tight I couldn't resist and had to cum inside her," I brag to Jihan, talking about how I cheated on her with her groupmate straight to her face, risking no consequences whatsoever because I own her. 

"I want to fuck you from behind while you are standing," I tell Jihan. "Yes, Daddy, do whatever you want," she replies. I untie Jihan from the cross as she sucks my cock to get it back wet. "All I want to do is please you, Daddy," she says. "Then please me taking more cock in that pussy," I say, getting behind her and stretching her out once again, loving how the clamps on her nipples are bouncing when I fuck her.

"Is that pussy good enough for Daddy? Nice and wet, like you want it? Am I a good girl, Daddy?" Jihan keeps asking, but I let my thursts do the talk as her pussy starts queefing. "Yes, daddy, please, use my fucking hole," she says as my hips clap against her cheeks.

"Please keep fucking me; I'm Daddy's pet; that cock feels so good; please don't stop; Daddy loves my pussy," Jihan says as I indeed can't stop, giving her the special fucking I craved for, spending long minutes taking her from behind.

Jihan coats the floor with her squirt, and as soon as she does, I take it as a sign to push it harder. I lift Jihan's body up and start carry-fucking her. "OH MY GOD, DADDY," she screams as I attack her pussy while being the only one holding her so she doesn't fall off. "OH DADDY, YOU'RE GONNA MAKE ME CUM AGAIN," an exausted Jihan says. 

"No, you're gonna make me cum," I tell Jihan, brining her back to the couch and putting her sideways. "Your cock feels so good in my tight little pussy, daddy," Jihan says as she gets a good spooning fuck on the couch. After a while, I take her off of it and pin her against the glass, giving her another pounding. "Please, Daddy, give me more," she begs. It seems like I have fucked Jihan throughout the entire apartment at this point, but I just don't want to stop.

More spanking in Jihan's butt follows. "Harder, harder, please fuck me harder, Daddy," she begs, as she can barely stand up at this point. I have fucked her for around 30 minutes, but to her it must have felt like 3 hours considering how hard I have screwed her little pink pussy.

Jihan can barely walk at this point, but that won't stop me from using her for more pleasure. I feed my cock in her face again as I put her tied hands up. "Are you ready for another surprise, little pet?" I ask her. "Yes, daddy," she replies.

I bring a Sybian for Jihan to sit on, taking the controller on my hands. I start slowly, letting the vibrating cock work in her pussy as I watch her get wetter and wetter while I grab her tits. Slowly picking up speed, I put Jihan at the mercy of the machine while I dive her head into my shaft and pinch her clamped nipples. More face-fucking ensues as the sybian now works at full speed inside Jihan's cunt, to the point she can't contain herself anymore. 

"Ride that dick," I tell her as Jihan quivers with the intense vibration on the inside. My hands massaging her tits, my cock massaging her mouth, the toy massaging her pussy—it's just too much for her to handle as Jihan gets an exploding orgasm that makes her squirt all over the carpet just as she announces she's going to cum.

"AHHHHHHHHHH, AHHHHHHHHH, PLEASSSEEEEEE, FUCKKKKKKK," Jihan screams as she collapses after the intense Sybian massage. But I have one more massage to give her, laying her back on the couch, ready to finish where it all started as I put Jihan under a mating press and intensely pound her pussy. 

"Give me every single massage of that fucking cock, daddy," Jihan says. "I want you to cum inside my pussy; I want you to give me every single drop," she begs. That truly surprises me. Jihan had not taken any birth control pills, meaning she was essentially begging me to impregnate her, and surely I was gonna take the opportunity, emptying my balls inside her shortly after she demands to get her tight pussy filled up.

"That was so good, Jihan; I hope we fuck like that 712 more times," you tell her. "Well, Daddy, my birthday is coming in a few days. I hope you have a special gift for your little pet," she replies.

"You bet I will," I promise her. And you know she can't wait.

[theonlymadmanonmars]

What your favorite Hatchetfield ship says about you.

Paul x Emma: You just want good things for Paul.

Paul x Ted: You Just want good things for Ted.

Ted x Bill: You are a connoisseur of the enemies/Rivals to lovers trope.

Ted x Tinky: You used to ship Billdip. And/or you're a monster fucker.

Paul x Bill: You are a connoisseur of the best friends to lovers trope.

Ted x Charlotte: You Believe cheating on your husband is ethical in some circumstances. You're correct.

Mr Davidson x Carol: You really wanna be choked out in bed.

Ted x Emma: You love sarcastic asswholes.

Deb x Alice: You are an angsty teenager.

Sam x Zoey: You think morally grey people are hot.

Sam x Charlotte: You are clinging hard to that broken Relationship and/or the child of a divorce you never really got over.

Ethan x Lex: You think a sweet delinquent is the best thing ever, and you just want Ethan to be happy. You also live for angst.

Tom x Becky: You believe that no matter how your first relationship is you can find love again.

Linda x Gerald: You think Morally grey women and their supportive husbands are hot.

Dan x Donna: You really like background ships, and think characters are more interesting when you have to work to learn things about them.

Peter x Steph: You're incredibly wholesome and just want them both to be happy.

Ruth x Steph: You just want Ruth to be happy.

Peter x Richie: You Believe in Best friends to lovers and you are an awkward teenager

Ruth x Richie: You love nerdy best friends who support each other when no one else will.

Peter x Ruth: You think joke flirting should always lead to real flirting.

Grace x Steph: Why have enemies to Lover or friends to lovers when you can't have Frenemies to Lovers.

Ruth x Grace: You love unhinged girlfriends.

Max X Richie: You want good things for Max.

Max x Grace: You think a couple who could take over the world together is the best kind of couple.

Brooke X Richie: You definitely have a whole personality and backstory for Brooke conducted in your head. You love background Characters and Desperately want Richie to be happy.

Linda X Becky: You love Enemies to Lovers and Absolutely stan Linda as you should.

Duke x Holloway: You love Angst but don't need all the toxicity. You also probably had a crush you never told how you felt about them.

Wiggly X Wilbur: You're a monster fucker You think Wiggly's hot. As you should. You love the idea of Tentacle sex with feelings

Wiggly X John: You're a monster fucker You're a fan of tentacle sex without feelings.

Bill x Blinky: You're a monster fucker. And You want to put Bill into a jar and shake him.

Updated

Let me know if I missed anything!

[anonymousbeefriendfanfics]

Really loved your Lyney hcs 😭🩷 you write him so well. I would love to see some more if that's ok! Like affection hcs? What types of affection he likes, what gets him all frustrated etc ( I think this guy is a blushing mess most of the time, good thing he has his hat to hide behind it lol) Once again I really loved your writing, have a nice day 🩷

Aaaa, thank you so much, that means everything to me! Lyney is my favorite character so I'd absolutely love to write more about him <3 I might have gotten a little carried away this time, too... and I didn't even go into the ways Lyney himself shows affection!

Fandom: Genshin Impact

Character: Lyney

Warnings: None

Receiving Affection - Lyney

One thing is for sure, my boy is 1000% a blushy mess. Lyney is the type of person who will flirt endlessly, but can't handle it when the affection is returned. He'll freeze up and you can just see the wheels in his mind grind to a halt as he struggles to comprehend what he's just heard. He starts stammering, trying desperately to respond with something equally smooth. And ohh, the blushing. The first time you flirt with him - or even just give him a sincere compliment - you'll notice a faint pink hue gracing his cheeks. But the longer it goes on, the deeper his blush will get, all the while he's trying valiantly to pretend he isn't phased in the slightest by your words.

It's so easy to fluster him. Like, almost too easy, especially early on in your relationship. Any little thing can get to him, from holding his hand to complimenting his magic, and he'll end up fighting the urge to grin like an idiot. Your very presence makes him so incredibly happy, and anything that makes him remember that you belong to him makes him want to scream and jump around in excitement. Even before you begin dating, giving him a certain smile or brushing against him is all it takes to have him blushing and forgetting his words.

It might seem a little out of character for a chronic sweet-talker like Lyney to be so easily reduced to a mess, but it isn't. Deep down, he never thought anyone would be attracted to him in such a way, so he's genuinely shocked by your attention. It makes him feel emotions he's never experienced, and it's far too easy for him to get overwhelmed. He's somewhat like a stereotypical teenage girl - he's a lovesick fool who overthinks everything and daydreams about you. He'll never shut up about you to anyone he speaks to, even when he thinks he's being subtle. He's not subtle in the slightest, just ask Lynette...

Lyney doesn't have a huge preference for how exactly you show affection - anything is more than fine with him. Sometimes he can be painfully oblivious, and you'll have to make your intentions clear to him, but most of the time he's quick to pick up on it. He's the type who will learn the ways that you show affection, so he's genuinely happy no matter what.

That said, the way he best feels affection is probably words of affirmation. He needs to hear how much he means to you, he needs to know he's doing things right and not screwing up. He responds very strongly to praise - he is a performer, after all! Make him feel loved, make him feel wanted and adored, and he'll melt every single time, your words echoing in his mind long after they've left your lips.

One of his favorite varieties of this, while not exactly words of affirmation, is definitely lively banter. Make dumb jokes, lightly tease him, things like that. He absolutely loves it when you get playful, and he always ends up grinning like a fool. If you can match his energy and feed off of one another, you'll both be laughing hysterically before long!

He's also incredibly weak for physical touch. I think Lyney is incredibly touchstarved. Sure, he's got Lynette by his side, but hugs from her are different. There's just something about your touches that makes him feel so incredibly loved, and he's addicted to the feeling. He's always seeking out those casual little touches, even if it's as simple as holding your hand or brushing up against you - he's the kind of person who always wants to be touching you in some way, so long as you're okay with it.

He's an absolute cuddle fiend, too. When you wrap your arms around him, it's almost like all of his stress and worries just melt away. If you share a bed, you'll often wake up to find him wrapped around your body like a koala, and you'll have to either wake him or pry his limbs off to move. His favorite position, however, is lying with his head on your chest. It lets him listen to your heartbeat, the world's most soothing sound, and if you'll play with his hair, ohh, he's in heaven. Even if he's wide awake and anxious when you lay with him like that, he'll be asleep within half an hour. He can't help it - he just feels so safe and loved in your arms.

And when you give him something?? He practically malfunctions. The mere thought of you spending time, effort, or Mora on him is just... unbelievable. Perhaps it's due to growing up the way he did, an orphaned child with absolutely nothing, or perhaps it's just who he is. He treasures everything he's given as a present, especially when the present comes from you. The first time you give him something truly special or handmade, he's utterly speechless and suddenly fighting back tears.

He loves spending quality time with you, too. He's just happy to be in your presence, no matter what you're doing. Parallel play works perfectly fine for him - you can both do your own things in a shared space. Taking walks together is definitely one of his favorite activities, and he genuinely just enjoys hanging out with you, no matter what the two of you are doing.

He can have a hard time accepting acts of service sometimes due to his stubborn determination to do everything himself. If you want to do something for his siblings, though, he'll be eternally grateful! Be patient with him. Soon, he'll start allowing you to help him, too, and eventually he'll even quietly ask for your assistance for small favors. He genuinely appreciates your help, truly, especially if you notice that he needs something and assist him with it.

Honestly anything you do with him makes him feel loved and appreciated, and he's never been happier than he is with you by his side. Give him lots of love and affection, he certainly needs it!

Writing Masterlist 🐝 Requests Open! Tag List 🐝 @mossmosis

[msbigredmachine]

New To This - Chapter 15

MASTERLIST

An hour after the hour-long ride from Josh’s house, Delilah was still perambulating around town, her mind filled with everything that she was going to say to Andre. She tried to anticipate his every reaction, mentally preparing herself for anything he could throw at her. What she would do if he cried. What she would do if he yelled. What she’d do if he even became violent. Yesterday in his gym, Josh had taught her a chokehold that she could take down people twice her size with, in the ring and in real life. She even came up with a plan for handling his stoic silence. All bases needed to be covered for a decision this monumental.

But before all that, she made a call to her sister, Simone, to ask if she was home. She needed to talk to her first before anyone else. Her friend and co-worker, Tiwa would be at Simone’s too, as she was the babysitter to CJ, Delilah’s three-year-old nephew. Her mother would also be contacted on FaceTime, so Delilah would be killing several birds with one stone.

It was a somber affair, breaking the news to her family. Over a plate of Simone’s comfort food and a pitcher of Clay’s (Simone’s husband) “famous” iced tea, with Grace on the other end of Simone’s iPad propped up on the kitchen table, Delilah sat them all down and laid out everything that had happened with Andre and Josh and what her plans were. As she unburdened herself, the gravity of what was happening to her life began to dawn on her for the first time maybe since this whole thing started. Overcome with emotion, the tears began to fall as she came to terms with the end of her life as she knew it, which included a decade of devotion to the boy she’d loved since she was a teenager. 

Simone and Tiwa sat on either side of her, the latter handing her a tissue, their embrace warm and comforting, their expressions surprisingly understanding. However, her mother did not share the same empathy, and watching her eyes fill with disappointment through the iPad sank Delilah’s heart. 

Grace frowned. “Child, what on earth are you doing?” 

Dabbing her eyes, Delilah shook her head, refusing to be deterred by the negativity. Not this time. “Something I should have done long ago, Mama. Andre and I’s relationship has been falling apart and I didn’t see it until it was too late.”

“From everything you’ve just said, you’re the reason y‘all are falling apart. You were unfaithful to him and threw away a stable life for some…wrestler,” Grace scolded, ever judgmental. “And you've not even told him! This is ungodly behavior from you, Delilah.”

“Mama, stop,” Simone cut in, “What’s happened has happened. Let’s just be there for her and-”

“I do not accept that, Simone. Your sister is behaving like a child.  Your daddy and I did not raise either of you to be so reckless and irresponsible! If he was here-”

“If he was here, he would have supported me no matter what!” Delilah finished for her, more tears falling as the mental and physical exhaustion of telling her truth took its toll. “All I ever wanted since my wrestling journey began was your support and Andre’s, Mama, but neither of you gave it to me and I ended up finding it somewhere else.” Wiping her eyes again, she shook her head, determined to get her point across. “I never meant for this to happen and I’m sorry that it's going to hurt Andre in the process. But I’m not sorry I met Joshua. Ultimately, he helped me reach my goal and I’m forever grateful to him. I don’t expect you to understand. I’m a grown woman, and the decisions I’ve made thus far are mine and mine alone.”

Grace tsked, her nose turned up at the absurdity of this situation. “You have so much to learn about life, my dear daughter. It’s a shame you chose to learn the hard way.” With that, she ended the call, the screen returning abruptly to CJ's grinning face that made up Simone’s Home Screen. 

Blowing out a shaky breath, Delilah pushed away the plate in front of her, feeling sick to her stomach. “Well…that went well,” she murmured sarcastically.

Tiwa rubbed her shoulder and rested her head on the other one. “It’s okay, Dee. She’ll come around.”

“She never comes around,” Delilah scoffed. Her mother was stubborn and strong headed and stuck to her ‘principles’ no matter how flawed and traditionalist they were.

“I’ll make sure she does,” Simone promised, peering closely at her little sister. “You do understand why she’s acting out, right? She’s just worried and wants the best for you professionally and personally.” Simone had the same concerns as her mother, adding to her disapproval of this love triangle her sister had deposited herself in. But the last thing Delilah needed right now was more scolding. “Tell you what, whatever happens with you and Andre, I’ll make the guest room available for you. You can stay here until your move to Orlando. I know CJ will be happy to have his auntie around.”

Letting her big sister’s words sink in, Delilah smiled a watery smile, grateful that she had someone’s unconditional support in whatever she decided. “Thank you.”

“You never need to thank me for anything, Lilah Girl. By the way, what does this Josh boy even look like? I wanna see what the fuss is all about.”

Tiwa swooned and made a show of fanning herself. “Sis, he is six different kinds of fine.”

“For real? Lilah, let me see!”

Chuckling softly, Delilah opened up her phone and found one of his photos with his newly won Intercontinental championship belt. Simone did a double take. “Damn, girl! Tiwa’s right. He’s gorgeous! Do he got brothers? Asking for a friend of course.”

“It better be for a friend,” Clay chimed in from the living room, making them all laugh. “Of course, baby, I'm asking for Tiwa over here!” Simone joked.

Leaving her sister’s home feeling just a modicum better about herself, Delilah reluctantly made her way back to reality. The closer she got to her trailer home though, the confidence diminished and the butterflies in her stomach increased as she struggled to get her emotions in check.

What she was about to do, the words she was about to say, would signal the end of the only romantic relationship she had ever known. She was about to put a definite end to the only life she was familiar with and launch herself face-first into a completely daunting one that she, for all intents and purposes, knew very little about in the first place. It had nothing to do with Josh, and very little to do with Andre. This was about Delilah finally doing something for herself, something she should have done long ago.

If she was honest, she was glad that Andre had gone to that audition. She was glad that he had been called back. She sincerely hoped that he would make it far in the competition and be on TV too. She wanted him to be happy. But more than that, she had been looking for the perfect way out and finally she’d found it. Having him around all the time, working out with her and attending her shows, was supposed to make everything right again. But it hadn't.

The only real purpose the last few weeks had served was to increase her guilt over sleeping with Josh. As much as she told herself that she pushed her lover to the back of her mind, the truth was that their affair was never far from her thoughts. She had nearly confessed to Andre on multiple occasions, but couldn't bring herself to break his heart. His announcement about the Idol callback had given her the perfect cover to blow up.

But she was tired of pretending and feeling guilty. There were more mistakes in her life to come, but she wanted to make them on her own without worrying about someone else's feelings. She owed Andre complete honesty. She needed to finally confess and let him go. She needed to move on and so did he.

By the time she parked alongside the house, she had resigned herself to her fate. As agreed, she would crash at Simone’s house for her final few weeks in Pensacola and deal with the weight of what she had done. And then she would move down south all by herself and move on with her life. She would be okay. Andre would be okay.

Somewhat quelled by this, she stepped through the front door of her house.

Sitting on the couch with his feet resting atop a big cardboard box, Andre sipped from a beer bottle. "I think this is everything," he nodded to the other boxes stacked around the room. "I kept the dishes, but your pots and pans are in there," he pointed toward a couple of boxes next to the kitchen island.

A numbness settled into her entire body. Opening her mouth and then shutting it again several times, Delilah leaned against the front door and spluttered, "You're kicking me out?"

"You didn't come home. For two days," Andre stated, his voice surprisingly void of anger. "You somehow managed to get it up in your head that I don't give a fuck about you, Dee, but I do. More than you could ever know.” He took another swig of his beer. "The guys left at around one a.m. When you didn’t come back in the morning, I got worried. So I went to Tank’s gym. You wasn't there. Went to Simone’s. Not there, either. Then I remembered the tracker on your bike," he said.

Delilah's shoulders sagged with relief and something else. She knew where this was going. "Andre," she whispered, her eyes brimming with tears.

But he only held up a hand and continued his dialogue. "You took me a long way outta town, babe," he said, "Luckily, I’ve been to this neighborhood a few times for work, so it was easy to get in. I followed the tracker and I found your bike in some fancy new house parked next to a big ol' Escalade. His security system sucks, by the way. I was able to sneak ‘round the back of the house into the backyard, and who do I see in the pool?" Meeting her eyes, he took another drink, his expression hard. “Y’all were too busy to see me standing there, but now I know who you been learnin’ all your little sex tricks from.”

The bile rose in her throat faster than her body could compute. Rushing down the hall and into their bedroom, Delilah emptied the contents of her stomach into the bowl as sobs wracked her body. She had intended to tell him about the affair. She had planned it perfectly on her way back from Simone’s but now her plan had been blown to smithereens.

As she dragged herself to her feet and flushed the toilet, Andre loomed behind her like a shadow, leaning casually on the doorframe. "How long have you been fucking him? Hmm? My guess is since your tryout," he surmised. It was an image he would probably never forget; not just catching her in the act, but it was the look on her face...the freedom, the euphoria...She had never looked that way in all the years they'd been together. It was at that moment that he made his decision to take this long overdue step.

Splashing water over her face, Delilah rested against the edge of the sink, avoiding his eyes. She couldn't look at him, couldn't bring herself to see the accusations in his eyes. Nodding, she sniffled back another sob. 

"I'm so sorry," she managed to choke out when she risked a glance at him through lowered lashes. "It wasn't supposed to be like this."

Andre smirked, shaking his head in disbelief. "You don't just fuckin' cheat on your fiancé by accident, Dee. I know it might be hard for you, but can you at least try to respect me enough to tell me the fucking truth now that I know? He's been in our house. Did y'all fuck here, too?"

"No, of course not!" Like a wounded animal, all she wanted to do was hiss, claw, and bite back at him. She wanted to scream for him to understand, to try to act like an adult for once. But she had broken their engagement. She had been planning a life without him. She had no right to fight back.

Squeezing past him, she glanced into their bedroom. The piles of laundry on the floor were seriously diminished, and the candles were gone. The closet was more than half empty, her clothes and the rest of her belongings gone, probably in one of those boxes in the living room. This was really happening, and she couldn’t bring herself to stop it.

"When I met him, he was just Main Event Jey Uso, ya know?" she started, lowering herself to the bed and then standing again. Sitting felt too comfortable. She didn't deserve comfort right now. "One of the most over guys in the business that I wanted so badly to be a part of. He was really complimentary about my talents. And it felt so good." 

The look on Andre’s face made her wince a bit. She knew how absurd it sounded. She knew that it didn't make sense. But she knew that there was nothing she could say that would sound valid. There was nothing that made her actions right. "Knowing that somebody thought I was good enough to make it, that he wanted me to succeed? It was easy to convince myself that I was just thanking him for having faith in me."

In disbelief, Andre sat his beer bottle on the top of the dresser and crossed his arms. "You couldn't just buy him a thank you card or somethin’? Gift basket?"

"How? We’re broke as fuck!" Delilah argued without thinking, regretting it instantly.

A wry laugh escaped him as he scratched the top of his head. "Right. Our money issues. Of course," he started, biting his lip and shaking his head. "Ya know what? I'm not even gonna do this with you. We've both known this was coming anyways," he sighed, turning back for the living room. “I’ll drive you to Simone’s. You need to get whatever else you got here before you head out.”

Delilah followed him, her legs as heavy as lead, wondering why she felt so hollow. It was what she had wanted. She had the gun loaded and cocked before she ever walked in the door. She guessed it was just hard to accept that she wasn't the one pulling the trigger. "Can I ask you a question?" she spoke up.

Andre opened the door and lifted one of the heavier boxes into his arms, leaning against the wall for support when he looked back. “Might as well."

"Why pretend all this time?" she asked, grabbing the box closest to her before moving toward the door.

Andre stepped onto the porch and spoke over his shoulder, "I wasn't pretending," he grunted, laying the box on the ground and opening his trunk to place the box inside. Resting his hands on his hips, he offered her the first genuine smile she had seen since arriving home. "You forget who you're talkin' to, Dee? I’ve known you for half our lives. When you go off to the most life-changing event of your life and you don't call me at all? I know somethin' is up, okay? You had already decided that you were goin' to Orlando before you ever got home. So what was I supposed to do? Fight you?

"I figured I'd give it a shot. I decided I was gonna try to give it a shot, try to salvage what was left of us. Cuz ya know what?" Tilting his head to the side, he gave her that crooked grin that had always set her heart on fire in the past. "Believe it or not, this ain't easy. It ain’t easy walkin' away from somethin' that's been your life for as long as you can remember. But this has to happen. We ain't been right for a long time, and every time we try to fix it, we fuck it up even more."

For a moment, she thought that she might throw up again. The way that he was shrugging his shoulders made it seem as though he didn't care. But he was right. They knew each other. She could see it in his eyes. He loved her, more than he was ever going to admit in words. "And you don't think that we can co-exist for another couple of weeks?" she asked, unsure of where the questions were coming from. But at the moment, the thought of leaving him hurt more than she could explain. Not Andre, her fiancé, but Andre, her best friend since high school.

"No," he said without hesitation, stepping past her en route to the house to grab the last box. "You need to go, Dee. You need to follow your dreams. I've seen you wrestle, and you shine brighter than a damn diamond. You light up, and the crowd loves you. It’s where you're supposed to be. Not in this house," he explained.

Stepping back over the threshold, she wordlessly helped him carry the rest of the boxes to his truck. Once they were all loaded, she turned and looked at him, slightly amazed by how peaceful all of this was going. "I was gonna leave today," she informed him.

Andre smiled, unsurprised. "I was going to ask you to leave today," he said, "I guess we’re both doing what needs to be done."

At that, a sense of calm filled her beyond all reasoning. She was seconds away from abandoning the union they had worked so hard to maintain, yet both were happier than they had been in more than a year.

Glancing down, she spotted the final piece of her connection to him, the sparkling diamond ring still on her finger. Sighing heavily, she slowly tugged it off her finger and took his hand, pressing it into his palm. Andre locked eyes with her the entire exchange, the sadness, the relief and resignation in his eyes reflecting the emotions she was feeling too.

After rolling her motorcycle onto the back of his truck, Andre opened the passenger's side to help his now ex-fiancée in before moving to his own side, kickstarting the vehicle to begin the ride to Simone’s house. In the rearview mirror, Delilah cast one last look at her former life, heaving a heavy, cleansing sigh. The first chapter of her new journey had been completed, and despite the bittersweet sensations she was currently experiencing, she couldn't wait to crack on with the next chapter.

--------------

Thoughts?

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[onboardsorasora]

can we ask how big daniel ks doing?👀 is he still in perth in the 90s with his parents?

We caannnnn. I wrote this today Bestie, just for you. I feel badly that we haven't been focusing on Adult Daniel. But I have to warn you, it gets a big angsty.

Part 1 | Part 17

Daniel knew he was breaking at least a bunch of rules around Exchanging, but he couldn’t exactly leave his dad to struggle with a half dead earthmoving machine when he knew how to fix it. So what if this was knowledge Joe (and ultimately) Daniel learned when he was a teenager? The knowledge was going to be gained anyway was his overall thoughts.

Plus it was amazing to spend this quality time with Joe while they were roughly the same age.

“So, tell me about this Max guy.” Joe said just as they’d both taken the weight of the engine part they were fixing. He grinned a Ricciardo grin at Daniel who scowled because he couldn’t run away. 

He’d been doing that a lot. His mother was relentless when it came to juicy gossip, Daniel should have known his father would be the same. To be honest, he did know that his father was also an unrepentant gossip, he and Joe traded fun stories all the time in the future. He just failed to anticipate that maybe Joe was always a gossip girl, and not just assumed that he’d gotten it from proximity with Grace.

He really should have known better.

“That’s not fair.” Daniel huffed as they brought the part to the table laid out to rest it.

“Life isn’t fair, now stop keeping me in suspense. Is he your boyfriend?”

“He isn’t” Daniel muttered, rubbing his hands together to get the creases of the metal out. “If he was, would you have a problem with it?” He looked into warm brown eyes, taking note– as became his routine– to take in the changes in Joe’s face before it became the face Daniel knew by heart.

“Did we have a problem with it before?” Joe asked kindly.

“No.” Daniel bit his lip, he didn’t know how to explain that it was a different time.

“Good, cause it wouldn’t be a problem now.” Joe shrugged, digging around in the toolkit. “So is he, really?”

“He isn’t,” Daniel insisted, biting back the ‘not anymore’ that wanted to slide through. Joe seemed to hear it either way.

“That bad huh?” Joe frowned. The worked for a little in silence, Daniel throwing himself in the mechanics of it all. 

He didn’t want to think about how he hadn’t been good enough for Max. That as much as he loved him, it apparently hadn’t been enough. His life had gone to shit in his hands and he’d been so focused on picking up the pieces that he hadn’t focused on Max, on them.

He hadn’t fought Max when he’d broken up with him, Daniel hadn’t had the fight in him at that point. And it wasn’t like he was even providing anything to their relationship, he’d already been fired and had to suffer through the team and media dragging his name in the mud. Max didn’t want to be together anymore, so Daniel had pushed past the clench in his heart and agreed to the breakup. It was for the best.

He loved Max and would give him the world. Even if it didn’t include him.

“Y’know, when Grace and I–” Joe started, Daniel had noticed early on that he never said ‘your mother and I’ not like he did in the future. He figured it was a quirk to remind himself that this Daniel wasn’t his son. Not yet at least. 

“Grace and I broke up twice.” And well, that was new information. By the way they always talked about it, Grace and Joe had been together forever– always.

Daniel’s eyes widened in surprise and Joe laughed. “I guess you’ve heard the stories. I asked her not to tell the truest version. It uh, doesn’t paint me in the best light.”

Daniel raised a brow, telling him to continue. Joe did just that, working on the part as he did.

“We broke up the first time because we were long distance, she went off to school in Melbourne and I stayed here. She came back and we were madly in love. Dated for maybe two years before I started getting cold feet, started feeling like I wasn’t good enough. I wanted to race and she supported me, helped me get odd jobs to pay for it all. She was always proud of me and my achievements and I started to feel like I wasn’t doing enough– wasn’t being more. In my head, she gave so much and I wasn’t equally reciprocating. So we broke up, for about a year.”

“And then what happened?” Daniel took the corroded metal that they were replacing and held the new gleaming piece in its place.

“Well, a friend of ours passed away. And we saw each other at the vigil. It was heartbreaking, but we took the time to talk and remember. Reminisce. We promised each other that we’d still be close because there was genuine love there. We were friends again, close and supportive of each other. She was teaching at the time and was gunning for a big promotion, and I was trying to get the business off the ground. And well, we were more open and honest this time around so when she eventually asked why we broke up– I told her.”

“What did she say?” Daniel felt like he was hanging onto every word, he’d never heard this part of his parent’s lives before. He wondered if Michelle even knew.

“She slapped me in the head and called me an idiot.” Joe snorted and Daniel barked out a laugh.

“I mean, looking back at it. I was.” Joe continued, a grin on his face. 

“She set you straight.” Daniel giggled, thinking of the powerhouse that was Grace Ricciardo.

“That she did. She loved me through it all, even though she admitted that maybe she could have pushed back more. Pushed back against the breakup, against some of my more harebrained ideas. Let me know that there were other options available.” 

Daniel stared at Joe as he continued working, greasing the part and tightening the nuts. “Thanks for telling me.”  he murmured and Joe looked at him appraisingly, as if he could see into his soul.

“It sounds like you adore this Max, would it be so hard to think that maybe he feels the same? And just made a mistake?”

“Max didn’t break up with me because he was scared. I just… wasn’t– good.. Enough. I guess.” Daniel shrugged like it didn’t matter, like it wasn’t still eating him up inside.

“I don’t think that’s true.” Joe put a dirty hand on Daniel’s shoulder. He figured it was fine, this was Joe’s shirt after all.

“Yeah well, he was pretty clear on it all I guess. Hey– we should pop this baby in and see if she starts up smoother now.” Daniel clapped and cleared away the old damage part from the table. He didn’t need to look up to know Joe was watching him, best not find out if there’s pity in his eyes.  It was something Daniel accepted over the last few years, he wasn’t good enough. Not at driving and not in his relationships. It was something he was attempting to make peace with. Clearly he hadn’t gotten very far yet since he was here– in the past– but it was a work in progress. He was a work in progress.

[purplehalnw]

So, while the Chibnall Era was certainly not as bad as I saw some people saying it was, it was definitely not good. A big problem is that there is just a lot of missed potential. There are lots of elements that the writers didn't take advantage of or expand upon enough which ended up making the story and the characters pretty boring in my opinion. So, a lot of my rewrite ideas will be expansions of those underutilized elements.

Also, let me preface this by saying that I am in no way a professional writer, I am just a teenager with a dream. I've tried to organize my ideas as much as possible by presenting them character by character but it still may be a little messy.

Graham:

-His wife Grace should die helping/saving people after having spent at least half a season with the Doctor (not just one episode)

-The Doctor will feel guilty for having put Grace in danger and not being able to save her. Ryan will blame the Doctor and be angry while Yaz and Graham will be understanding and not blame the Doctor. Graham will reassure Ryan that all of them were aware of the risks that would come with travelling with the Doctor and that Grace died doing what she loved which was helping people.

-Graham's cancer will return and he will die from it. I think it would be interesting to see a companion die from something more normal when other ones have died in the most devastating ways possible. Graham's death can extend over multiple episodes which would show the characters' developing reactions to the fact that Graham is going to die.

-The Doctor will have a crisis in which she tries to make sure that Graham has lived a full life by taking him on as many adventures as possible due to the fact that other companions who died were so young and thus didn't get to experience as much. However, Graham will tell the Doctor that he is content with the mostly quiet life he has lived and that he has accepted the fact that he is going to die because at least he'll be going to the same place where Grace is.

-Also, I posted these ideas on TikTok as well and someone suggested another idea in the comments: The Doctor will obtain a cure for cancer from the future and offer it to Graham. But Graham will reject it for several reasons. One, Graham thinks that he has lived long enough, and he'd rather die this way rather than die suddenly and unexpectedly from something else. Two, the Doctor says she can't give the cure to anyone else before the time it's invented because of you know timeline shenanigans she can't interfere with. So Graham thinks, "why should I get the cure while no one else does? That's unfair". Third, Graham wants to see Grace again.

Ryan:

-Ryan will feel inclined to mend the relationship with his dad because he is the only blood relative he has left since Grace died. However, he won't reconcile with his father in the end. This'll instead be the moment Ryan accepts Graham as a father figure and calls Graham his grandfather.

-His dyspraxia will be touched upon more than just with throwaway lines about how he can't ride a bike and struggles with climbing ladders. There will be moments in which he is underestimated by some of the other characters, maybe Graham, which Ryan will obviously be frustrated by and will serve as a way to show how those with disabilities are often coddled and infantilized. Also, the Doctor will relate to him because of her own neurodivergence (especially since I've seen dyspraxic people point out how the 11th Doctor moves reminds them of themselves) which will strengthen their bond.

-There will be flashbacks that show how Yaz and Ryan were friends when they were in school. The two of them became friends because they both felt like outcasts with Ryan feeling that way due to his dyspraxia and Yaz feeling that way due to her sexuality.

-Ryan's YouTube channel will be a greater part of his character instead of something that never gets brought up again after his first episode. He will constantly record his adventures with the Doctor and upload them to YouTube to honor Grace in a way. When Graham dies of cancer, Ryan will upload a video summarizing who Graham was as a person and all the amazing things he did.

-Graham's death and his thing about being content with the little things in life will make Ryan realize that he hasn't fully explored his planet and seen its full potential and beauty. This epiphany will make him decide to take a break from being with the Doctor to travel around Earth. This'll open up the door for episodes solely focused on Ryan along with a way to introduce us to more Earth adventure episodes with the Doctor. Plus, this situation will allow Yaz and the Doctor's relationship to develop more.

Yaz:

-Her sexuality will not be something that only gets barely acknowledged in her final three episodes.

-Yaz and Ryan will have dated in school but broke up due to Yaz's lack of feelings towards him and her mental health struggles which caused her to push him away which will explain why they grew apart.

-I know we all love Dan but I'm going to have to get rid of him completely. So instead, Ryan will be the one to confront Yaz about her feelings towards the Doctor.

-Yaz's implied internalized homophobia will be further expanded upon. Jack's 51st century values and feelings towards the Doctor along with the Doctor's nonchalantness towards gender will serve as ways for Yaz to accept herself more. A main thing with Doctor Who companions is the Doctor showing them things they didn't even think were possible, the same will be true for Yaz but in a different way.

-The issues surrounding Yaz being a police officer were only barely touched upon in the episode "Rosa" before quickly being brushed off and never brought up again. Her job in general hardly even plays much of a role, like she literally just quits off screen near the end. But now her being a cop will serve as a source of ongoing conflict between the Doctor and Ryan who will be ACAB. The Doctor will challenge Yaz's beliefs regarding the police system, similar to how she challenged Yaz's ideas regarding gender and sexuality.

The Doctor:

-While it is kind of nice that the Doctor's gender identity isn't really questioned and is treated as normal, I think there should be some more exploration of Timelord's concept of sexuality and gender. Are all Timelords fluid in gender and sexuality? Do Timelords ever have gender dysphoria or have gender identities that are different from their current sex? Is sexuality the same throughout every regeneration or does it vary? Not all of them have to be answered or completely answered but I would like them to be addressed.

-More lore will be given regarding who the Doctor thought was their biological family so that the Timeless Child plotline and the fact that the Doctor was lied to will have more impact.

-Instead of confining the Flux to only six episodes, it will be alluded to at around the same time the Timeless Child will be hinted at.

-The writers said that they intentionally wrote the 13th Doctor as autistic. There are several scenes where they emphasize how socially awkward she is and the Timeless Child plotline is used to explain the autistic behavior of hers which has been present throughout the whole entire series. All of this is nice but again it isn't used to it's full potential. The Doctor should be used to create allegories for neurodivergence. The reveal of the Timeless Child will be equated to say finding out you're autistic. The Doctor will be used as a way to show how autistic men are treated differently than autistic women with her eccentricities being met with more hostility than when she was a man. Ryan will address how the way the Doctor acts aligns with autism which will spark a conversation about the necessity of labels and who can use them.

-The Doctor's refusal to form strong relationships out of fear of them ending tragically will be a more present underlying conflict. The story of the 13th Doctor and her companions will end sadly with her pushing them away and leaving them on Earth long enough that they've gone back to their normal lives and have realized that there's nothing they can do except hope that the Doctor is able to sort her shit out on her own.

I have considered doing a rewrite of these seasons or something but again I'm not an expert writer. The only fic I've ever written is a 2,000 word character study and that one took me a long time to write because of how much a perfectionist I am.

[cecekeating]

My 613 Jordayla Analysis and Commentary Pt 1

Okay, so I am starting with a highly unpopular opinion. I really didn’t think this episode was too bad. For a B ship, I thought the episode was actually okay. I know we would have loved to see more wedding moments but I feel the writing sprinkled these moments into the show starting from season 5.

In 503, we had a wedding dress shopping parallel with Layla and Grace where Layla was trying on dresses for Jordan. She ended up choosing a dress that looked like at least a wedding reception dress. In 514, we had a ladies spa day with Patience, Laura and Layla. I am taking this as a bridal shower-esque moment. Then in this season 611 had them say mini vows, 612 gave us a best man speech and wedding dance. It is the reason why Asher’s speech was cut off. We already got what I considered to be a solid best man speech that really tied up Jordayla’s love story. 

For this episode, I felt the writing wanted to focus on arcs for Jordayla that have never been touched upon but were also important. I also felt the writing dropped some clues on where it might be heading for Jordayla in this episode and even though Jordayla didn’t share loads of moments together, the writing still said so much about their love and their dynamic.  So without further ado, let’s get into it. 

I am starting with the first Jordayla scene they had alone. Just realized it was the only one too. Jordan is looking for his shirt and Layla almost sees him. In order not to jinx things, they decide to stand back to back. Even when they are not facing each other, you could still feel so much chemistry. Jordan declaring Layla as the queen had me kicking my feet. Again, the writers don’t miss it with Jordayla because even without Jordan seeing Layla, he still knew her facial expressions! - Name a ship doing it like them. I’ll wait.

Layla admits to Jordan that she misses her mother’s presence and Billy’s presence. This is a key arc with Jordayla that has never really been touched upon and it was a big theme for their wedding. As someone who lost her dad as a young adult and would never get to have him walk me down the aisle, I personally appreciate this moment. That grief never goes away and it always comes back in big moments. So props to the writers for giving this super realistic moment.

Now let's talk about Jordayla and their parents. Both Jordan and Layla have lost parents. It is not lost on me that the relationship they both had with their late parents and the loss of their parents had a huge impact on them as individuals.

While there is evidence that Monica Keating loved Layla, we cannot deny the impact her death had on Layla and how her battle with mental health caused loads of trauma for Layla. There is a reason why this season emphasized on this strongly in the writing. A lot of the issues Layla had as a teen was partly tied to Monica, her struggles and eventual passing. 

With Jordan, I think we all know how Billy’s parenting impacted Jordan as well, especially as a teenager. Jordan’s insecurities and fears have a lot to do with the relationship he had with Billy. He also watched that bus fall off the cliff. He watched his father die in front of him and quickly, he had to learn to become the man of the house. That is a lot to unpack especially when you consider how quick he moved from losing Billy to becoming a husband. Based on the timeline of the show, it’s been less than five years. Jordan never had the chance to process all of this and there is nothing in the writing to suggest he did so off screen. 

So I am looking at this and the writer's brain in me is saying perhaps both Jordan and Layla will actually have arcs to navigate parenting. Since Layla has done some work in therapy, I can see the writing show how her healing impacts her journey as a mother and with Jordan, how his unresolved trauma will impact his journey as a father. I can see the writing bring up Jordan’s trauma just like they did with Layla but in his case, parenting will be his trigger. For Layla, getting engaged was her trigger. In my last write up I was saying it would be Jordan navigating parenting but I can see it for Layla too and it can even be written as a contrast to show how their separate journeys impact their parenting journeys. 

Now this is the fan theory/writer theory brain speaking but this parenting arc will hit harder if Jordayla has a boy and a girl. To be honest, I feel the wardrobe choices in 601 and 602 sort of dropped clues. In 601, their PJs were blue and pink and in 602, the episode had them both playing with AJ and by the end of the episode, we had Layla in pink and Jordan in blue. Pink and blue are traditional baby boy and baby girl colors.

While Jordayla screams ‘girl parents’, I am leaning into the ‘boy and girl’ parents because of their arcs. Layla navigating motherhood through the lens of being a girl mom will hit really hard and OMG, I don’t think Jordan processing/navigating his trauma will hit any harder than if he does it as the father of a little boy. He can do it as a girl dad but I feel the story will be stronger if he gets triggered after the birth of a son. 

This can mean two things: Jordayla has a twin boy and girl and the writing explores their parenting journey through the twins OR the writing has them have a baby girl first to deal with Layla’s arc and then have them have a baby boy later which would be a perfect arc to tackle Jordan’s issues. 

Again, I have no idea what NK has planned for Jordayla going forward or which actors are returning. What I have written, I have done by going off what I have seen on screen and what my writer brain is telling me. Please, if it makes no sense to you, throw it out.

More in part two

[manicpixiedckgirl]

okay, so i posted a timeline. sue me! i quit all other social media last year and needed that dopamine hit. just a lil nicotine patch for online attention. seasonal depression is a bitch okay. i posted it here and to ig, bc ig is to late millennials what facebook is boomers. and people have all said some very nice things, but when you're posting a 10 year timeline, you're usually hoping for someone from your past to see it and go "woah! you're so different now"!

and whaddya know, this time it worked. one of my exes from when i was a teenager saw it. not one of the ones who turned out to be a lesbian, one of the ones who turned out to be a trans man. He just wanted to say hi - that he was so happy to see that i looked happy, and that i looked incredible, especially compared to the scruffy twink they had dated. (okay those are my words not his)

he and I didn’t have a great relationship at first - no one had a great relationship with me before i realized i was a trans woman obviously, but this was pretty young. I was really repressed and weird back then, and still very much without any social graces, and we were only like 16. they caught the full broadside of my emo fuckboy energy and got out fast once they saw that - i don’t blame them. I was crying in their arms about how much i hated my new body hair, and how i wanted to be able to wear dresses, and the next day i’d be completely emotionally unavailable and denying all of it. not exactly boyfriend material, not entirely boyfriend. They were very traumatized too in their own way, just realizing they were trans too, and engaging in a lot of ‘i want to be a gay man’ antics, fucking their way through the pain. He was frankly way too cool and sexually liberated to be wasting his time with that version of me. And it was very obvious to everyone who knew what that was 12-15 years ago that i was a closeted trans girl. we had a friend group that eventually fell apart, and we parted for the first time.

Later, in our late teens/20, we would end up fucking - i had started to accept and announce that my gender was complicated, and i was starting to be kinda faggy and loud about it, and not everyone hated that, and they had just started T and were boy horny. We split a bottle of wine (or was it two? It was probably two) and started watching an ashley tisdale movie. Looking back on it, how it went must definitely have been his plan, but i’ve always been blind about this stuff and was that night. It was definitely bad sex, but it was also fun sex - the first time I enjoyed myself,  and the pressure of having to be a guy wasn’t so overwhelming i didnt effectively black out. he’s one of the first people i ever talked to about feeling complicated about gender, and i think by then he had figured me out, and was just letting me get the rest of the way on my own. I still couldn’t top for him, i never rly could top for anyone, even before estrogen. but we still had fun, with our hands and with our mouths. and then after that, we'd go to art shows and poetry readings and hang out again occasionally, like we talked about doing when we were literal kids, putting on rocky horror in our front rooms.

but life takes you away from people, and he got into film school, and i somehow graduated my chemistry program and moved to the US. he moved to Germany for a while, although i hear he's back home. i got married, got separated, there was a global pandemic. we hadn't talked in years, although i had snooped on him once or twice. He’s a director now - he’s made some impressive arthouse films, all horror and gender and kitchy campy cerebral themes. He’s got a big tv writing credit on the way in irish tv. Idk - it felt rly good to impress him, to say hi, to remember. it's really cool to see other trans people thriving and living life, always. anyone who cleaves reality to themselves and fashions themselves into someone they can love is someone who impresses me. but it's different when it's someone you've known for almost half your life - someone you were a fucked up kid with, not sure if either of you would make it to 18. and to be smiling at each other, looking at 30, and wondering what's next. i'm really proud of the both of us actually. and i needed that today.

[finnickodaiir]

Jumping on the "re-listening and rating each song on all the 11 albums" trend, because it sounds fun <3. I'm starting with Debut! Disclaimer, I'm not rating the pop mix of Teardrops On My Guitar because it's just a remix, and it shouldn't have existed!

1. Tim McGraw. "He said the way my blue eyes shined put those Georgia stars to shame that night. I said, 'That's a lie,'" is quite a way to open your first album! I think it's underrated as hell, considering it's August 1.0 with the themes of doomed summer romance and hoping he'll look back fondly on her. It's still my favorite on Debut! Rating: 10/10.

2. Picture To Burn. I get why she might not be fond of this song anymore. After all, it is very much a petty teenage diss track, but it's a banger. And who hasn't wanted to erase the memories you have of someone you ended up hating? Rating: 8/10.

3. Teardrops On My Guitar. I get why some people might not connect with this song, I think that in order to fully appreciate it, you need to have once been a 15-year-old with an unrequited crush (and have listened to this song around this time) or have a blorbo who's a teen and has an unrequited crush. As someone who had an unrequited crush on a guy in my class when I was 15/16, that song hit back then, and now it's just a trip down memory lane, so I'm quite fond of this song and I think it has some gorgeous lyrics. "The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart" is easily my favorite lyric from this song. Rating: 8.5/10.

4. A Place In This World. Cute song, but I think the production is stronger than the writing here tbh. It's quite similar to The Outside, though I'd say APITW is more of a reassurance to her lonely self, whereas The Outside is her being more urgent about her loneliness. That being said, I believe The Outside does the job better, but that doesn't mean I dislike A Place In This World by any means, it's just not a favorite. Rating: 7/10

5. Cold As You. Absolutely deserves its spot as Taylor's favorite from Debut. It has some of her best lyrics from her earlier work. I'm still waiting for her to mash this up with Tolerate It on the piano... 😁. Rating: 10/10

6. The Outside. This song is for the people who were lonely in middle school and high school. You either get it or you don't get it. Rating: 8/10

7. Tied Together With A Smile. This one is a bit of a hit or miss for me. Not so much of a miss, more like "If I'm not in the mood, I'm a little bored during it." That being said, when I'm in the mood, it really hits. The lyric about giving love away like it's extra change is *chef's kiss*. Rating: 7.5/10.

8. Stay Beautiful. It's adorable, and I love the bridge, but overall, it's kinda just there for me. Rating: 6.5/10

9. Should've Said No. An absolute banger... ate and left no crumbs. I honestly think it should've been the enduring Debut hit rather than Our Song tbh... Rating: 10/10.

10. Mary's Song. You all be like, "Love when Taylor is on her storytelling mode," but then sleep on this song. Rating: 8/10

11. Our Song. It's a great song, but I think I overplayed it a bit. That being said, it should've been on the Eras Tour setlist. Rating: 8.5/10.

12. I'm Only Me When I'm With You. It also should've been on the setlist, such a banger! Rating: 8/10.

13. Invisible. I don't dislike this song at all, but I'm kinda confused as to why it's here when it's basically Teardrops On My Guitar 2.0, but not as good. I never really listen it to tbh :/. Rating: 6.0/10

14. A Perfectly Good Heart. Did this need to be on the album? I'd replace it with Sweet Tea and God's Graces because it feels like a full circle moment, considering that the album starts with her hoping her boyfriend will remember her fondly once summer ends, and Sweet Tea and God's Graces is about her looking back at all she has learned from that relationship and since then. So, holding out hope it will be the closing track on Debut TV 🙂. But back to APGH... it's not as bad as I think most people claim it is, but it's not really particularly good either. It's there, I guess. Rating: 5/10.

Overall score: 7.92/10

[thisselflovecamebacktome]

So I'm stealing this from @tayloralisonswift and you should definitely check out their version, but I'm going to listen to and rank all of Taylor's songs album by album (and then maybe her non album songs at the end). You can also see my debut rankings and what I've changed here.

So with that in mind, it's Fearless' turn. The only thing to note before we start is that I will be ranking OG Fearless (song) and 15 but TV for the rest because I really do not like TV's Fearless and 15 but the rest of TV is equal to or better than their OG counterparts to me.

Fearless: This song has always been very middle of the road for me. Nothing "wrong" with it, but definitely my least favourite out of the OG/platinum tracks and not one I go back to it. It does get half a point for the heart hands Eras moment lmao. 5.5/10.

Fifteen: I've had such an up and down relationship with this song, mostly because it was played so much during the 1989 tour that I got sick of it for a good few years lmao. But it's come back as a love for me and will always be one of her most quintessential Taylor songs for me. 8/10.

Love Story: I've always loved this song, but I listened to it the other day and something about it clicked in a way that I don't think it has since Fearless (OG) was the most recent album to come out. Not in a relatability way, but just that utter joy and nostalgia I felt when listening to it. There's probably something to say about my own healing there, but that's not the point. 9/10.

Hey Stephen: A super cute song. Not a favourite but I don't dislike it by any means. 6/10.

White Horse: My OG favourite from Fearless. It may have fallen from grace (dramatic, it's still my second favourite), but I love it dearly. 9.5/10.

You Belong With Me: A bop! THE bop! Nothing more to say. It's been over a decade but it still lives rent free that (redacted teacher) tried to fight me at one point because I never saw "what you doing with a girl like that?" as being a pick me line and instead thought she meant 'what are you doing with someone who makes you miserable?' given the line before it lmao. 9/10.

Breathe: My favourite song from the album. I lost 2 friends to death in the space of a month when I was 15 and due to that and like the consequences of being so in my head that I felt I couldn't talk to my friends about any of it, this was on repeat for like six months in 2011. It is arguably the Taylor song that has gotten me through the worst time of my life and I will forever cherish it. I also really love that you can hear Colbie more in the rerecord. 10/10.

Tell Me Why: My main qualm with this song in the rerecording is that it sounds just like OG Taylor whereas the rest of the songs sound so grown vocally so it feels so weird to listen to amongst the others. All in all though it's a good song, but not a favourite. 6.5/10.

You're Not Sorry: Early to mid teenage me was not normal about this song and how often we played it. Early 20s me also returned to it for a while. Like it was my go to dramatic (affectionate) song and even though I don't listen to it much nowadays, it still has a fond place in my heart. 7/10.

The Way I Loved You: Listen, I have always loved this song, but I feel I've just grown to love it even further as time went on. From it helping me through my first breakup to it being one of the first songs I could see through a queer lens through the way I almost teared up hearing the first few notes of TV because it both sounded so different from OG but also emotionally transported me to a very specific memory from ninth grade, it just has been a very unexpected dark horse of a song for me, especially seeing as I don't listen to it nearly enough. 8/10.

Forever And Always (+ Piano Version): This is one of the very few times that I feel a difference in tone/emotion between the album and acoustic versions. Like the album version feels petty and angry while the piano version just feels sad and defeated. Both are equally ranked for me though, just used for different occasions/moods lmao. 8/10.

The Best Day: For a long time I was very meh about this song and would have rated it like a 3 because truth be told, it was never relatable. But semi recently my stepdaughter said that she thinks of me when it comes on and so while it's still not a favourite, it definitely warms up my heart a lot more listening to it than it used to. 6/10.

Change: This song has never been a favourite, but, along with Long Live, has been the closest I've been to crying over the rerecordings. Like obviously fuck Scott and whatever, but something about hearing it and thinking about everything we've seen Taylor go through and how well received the rerecordings were (I genuinely think it went better than even she expected and Fearless showed her that it could be bigger than she ever imagined) really made me emotional. 6.5/10.

Jump Then Fall: A cute song. I don't listen to it all that much but it's sweet. 6/10.

Untouchable: I know this is a cover, and I don't mind the original, but this will always be a Taylor song to me. And one I love dearly at that. 8.5/10.

Come In With The Rain: I'll be honest with you, this is one I was pretty meh about when the album first came out. But it's grown on me with time. I need a specific mood to listen to it, but when it hits, my god does it hit. 7.5/10.

Superstar: Such a cutie. Nothing further to say past I really like it. 7.5/10.

The Other Side Of The Door: This song has had the biggest glow up so far out of the rerecordings in my honest opinion. Like I don't think I could have told you a single lyric to it pre rerecording because I just was not drawn to it at all, but it's definitely grown on me, even if it's still not a favourite. 6/10.

Today Was A Fairytale: Always loved it and always will. I never saw the film attached to it, but it's just incredibly cute and super pre RED Taylor for me. 8.5/10.

You All Over Me: I'm sorry, this song is just super boring to me. Like maybe if Maren had her own verse it'd be better, but alas, it's just boring. 4/10.

Mr Perfectly Fine: Arguably the only vault song to date to sound like the album it would have been on lmao. And while I don't need that from the vault songs, it was so refreshing and really took me back to the mid to late 2000s hearing it. Definitely a banger and I'm glad it was included. 9/10.

We Were Happy: My favourite of the Fearless vault songs. Having a failed engagement just months after this came out did numbers on me and the other party at the time, but it still remains one of my favourites to this day. 9.5/10.

That's When: This song just gets better with every listen in my honest opinion. I'm usually fussy with vocal collaborations, especially different gender ones, but this really works and I really love it. 8.5/10.

Don't You: I hated this song when it first came out because it just felt too different to be on Fearless and tbh I'm team "Jack's work with Taylor pretty much all sounds similar to me" and was already there by the time Fearless TV came out. But it has grown on me with time and I really love it now. 8.5/10.

Bye Bye Baby: I recognise that this is thematically an amazing track to put on the rerecordings, especially with the changed lyrics to recontextualise it to sound more like it's about Big Machine/Scott than a romantic relationship. So it gets a point for that. However, I also find it super boring. 4/10.

Total score: 180.5/250 - 72.2%

[eerna]

Hello! This is incredibly random, but as a fanartist, enjoyer of critically examining media, and critic of capitalist corporations (*cough* Disney), do you have any thoughts about fan art being a form of unpaid labour?

Context is I’m writing an essay about digital labour and how fan creation is basically kind of like free PR for big corporations… and now whenever I do fanart I can’t get that thought out of my head uGH. I want to believe that drawing fanart is my own form of creative expression and way of showing love for the media, but at the same time I’m like “am I being exploited???” since I’m helping advertise smth for free and these corporations are just capitalizing on my love for said media??? and I can’t reconcile these thoughts 🥲🫠

Also I’m struggling with the essay LOL my eventual conclusion is that we as fans do have agency but we kind of still are being exploited… so it’s not a very optimistic outlook haha. Doesn’t help that the scholars’ articles I’m reading are all very negative about this digital labour thing. Help.

Sorry if this is unexpectedly deep!! 😅 just really curious to hear a fellow fanartist’s thoughts, and I respect you a lot for being unafraid to criticize media 🙏🙏

Hi! First of thank you for your kind words~ Second off, what a cool concept to discuss. Your message is pretty much how I feel. It is very frustrating to remember that so much of the media I love is so closely tied to the harmful cycle of capitalism. I grew up in a country that didn't have access to merch or much in the way of official media so piracy was my go-to most of the time. This means I was introduced to the concept of consumerist aspects of fandom via the Internet as a teenager and started feeling bad about "not supporting" stuff I love, but I told myself "Well I pay back by doing fanart and talking about it online". And then I found out about the way capitalism shapes the media landscape and started feeling bad for playing into it, the same as you. It gets even more conflicting when I am talking about something I dislike made by a company I dislike - yeah, I am probably preventing some people from interacting with the media for themselves, but I am also probably making others interested. What makes me feel better about the entire thing is that the "digital labour" I do is that I'm doing it for other fans like me, and to express myself. I love things so much that it makes me feel like I am going to explode, but pouring it out onto paper helps with it! Of course, I don't have to post it online for it to be worthwhile, but sharing it with others who feel the way I do makes the feelings even better. BUT one of the most important aspects of the issue is how willing those companies are to let me gain something monetary from the relationship. Are they ignoring fanworks being sold as fan merch, as commissions? It is illegal, but I feel like it should absolutely be allowed as a sort of unmentioned perk of being a fan worker, and the companies that don't allow that are evil. My audience gets bigger, I sell more prints, and so do they. (This is also why I never accept money for fanworks made by small creators, such as webcomics)

There's also the fact that lately I've been seeing the rise of "If you REALLY love this piece of media, it is your DUTY to consume it as much as possible and spread the word about it as much as possible and make the company as much money as possible if you want to see more things like it!" takes. These are utter bullshit and where enjoyment of media goes to die. The moment you reduce your love for something only to how much money it can make the evil capitalist overlords who allowed it to grace your eyes, you completely deny any kind of artistic worth. Media should exist because we deserve to have our hearts touched by stories, not because it makes someone money.

I don't have a clear answer or feel like my approach to the issue goes entirely along with my morality. But I don't think we can find a way to feel good about the entire situation as long as our media is dictated by capitalism. It's the sad reality of loving something in a system that will squeeze any money out of you that it can. But we gotta march on, remember that we are the ones allowing them to survive and not the other way around, and love while we do it. Good luck with your essay, stay positive!

[jasongracestan12]

Ok, at the request of @gilbertscarrot, I will expand upon my take that Jason Grace is Olivia Rodrigo coded. I literally created this account just to say that 💀 (and because it was a long time coming). I’ve had “GUTS” on repeat and just keep thinking of him, so this is my reasoning. These are based like half in canon and half head canon, so it’s really all up to my interpretation. Feel completely free to disagree with me on anything. Spoiler warnings for ToA and HoO.

So first of all; “All American Bitch.” This one is pretty self explanatory. Olivia herself stated that this song is about attempting to live up to an impossible expectation and dealing with a lot of repressed emotions. Olivia is also a woman, so this is a more nuanced issue for her, but on a surface level, I do feel like it’s very reminiscent of the image Jason feels he has to portray and repressed resentment he feels as a result, which he refers to in BoO.

As for most of the ballads, while they’re mostly about romantic relationships, I can’t help, but feel they could refer to other people who are important to him in his life letting him down. For example, I feel as though “Vampire” could be about Zeus/Jupiter, and the way that Jason was essentially exploited for his benefit-making him look good-by being forced into roles he didn’t want, etc. While “The grudge” could be about his mother and how her abandonment of him has troubled his self-worth/self-image, as well as referencing feelings of betrayal that we know Jason carries. In addition to these, I feel as though, “making the bed” could be about that time in between HoO and ToA that seemed to have taken a really hard toll on Jason especially the part about pushing “away the people who know me the best,” as we know he sort of did to Piper after they split ways.

This is sort of funny, but for “ballad of a homeschool girl,” I just thought about the fact that Jason was literally raised by wolves, and has literally never been in an majority-mortal environment his entire life up until he attends the all boy school in ToA, so I imagine it must have been hard for him to socially adapt to that environment.

For “love is embarrassing,” I feel it could be just in general about the romantic drama he has gone through with Piper, Reyna, etc. And for “teenage dream” I feel like it could just be another song about the incredibly high expectations he had to live up to and feared falling short of but with more disillusionment than before.

As for a few of the other songs, I’m not completely sure how I would fit those into his story, but if you have any ideas, let me know!

Overall, I just enjoyed this album and obviously Jason as a character, and really like the idea of someone like him, who is so haunted by pressure and perfectionism just letting go and like…screaming idk lmao.

[zoyalannister]

agree also gideon in the end is protrayed just surprised thomas likes alastair and doesn't hate him, i expected him accepting thomas but being wary of alastair as he was one of the people who spread the rumours of him cheating on sophie, but maybe he doesn't care

also in the end grace is pictured close to anna and ari, and then thomas and alastair are also pictured as close to them, is weird since during the series they barely talk

also the grave scene where they bury things, anna does not bury anything, because she says she likes all her choices, wouldn't grief made her blame herself for kit and made her want to bury something?

the point of leaving gabrily alone to grief does not make sense when gideon and sophie are surrounded by people and are also supposedly grieving, is said sona becomes friends with them as well as flora, so is one more thing that does not make sense in the book

there are other inconsistencies like every adult showing when the battle was finished and ari running to flora and anna staying behind, and then scenes later is mentioned gabriel was there, why did she not go to ther father? or had any reaction? maybe cassandra slipped the name later on as she was mentioning many adults but did not care much of it

the india travel is repeated many times and makes me think she will write a small piece of that, probably centered on ari and making he rhave the angst plot as she is meeting her bio family, i doubt she would center on anna's grief as canonically she stated many times during the epilogue she had not been as happy since she was a child. weird considering anna had accepting and good parents and is never mentioned she grew up sad or anything like that.

Gideon canonically doesn’t care about his family and this is another proof, any normal person wouldn’t be super happy immediately that their son is dating the guy who spread rumors about them cheating on their wife. But hey, Gideon is super loved by the fandom because he generated one half of the most popular ship, so why using logic?

To be honest I like the idea of Grace being close to Anna and Ari, probably they bonded over the fact that they’re the only characters grieving Kit for more than 15 minutes, but I find the idea of Thomastair and AriAnna being friends hilarious. It feels like the book is trying to tell you that gay people are automatically friends, it's not like they have a personality besides their sexual orientation, right?

Anna burying nothing is embarrassing, just CC wanting to show her as the edonistic character, but it looks like it comes from an old draft where Kit didn’t die since it doesn’t make any sense. It doesn’t make any sense also that she was unhappy after childhood, are you fucking kidding me? Her family was well off, she had friends and a supportive family, everyone accepted she was lesbian and proud, she had a lot of sex, why was she unhappy?? It’s never mentioned, but I guess that in CC's vision having a relationship automatically multiplies your happiness.

Don't get me starte about the stupidest and cringiest """"battle""""" ever, Gabriel is probably mentioned just because CC realized at the last second that she needed someone from the TID gang and probably Gabriel was the random picked name. It doesn’t make any sense that Anna doesn’t run to him since it's the first time she sees him since Kit’s death, but this scene would make sense of Kit wasn’t supposed to die.

(Yes, I'll never believe that Kit’s death was planned since it's treated like shit and has no consequence, and obviously Matt and Sona were set up for dying).

As for the TID gang leaving Gabrily alone, I will be more explicit even if I will attract haters: it makes sense to me that they support each other and not Gabrily because they are shit people. They were shits as teenagers, they are shit as adults and the epilogue confirms so.

Anna and Ari will have their novella so CC can cross out the "WW couple" on the checklist for her short stories collection, and as you said it will probably be either about Ari or AriAnna being tourists and nothing of the grief will be mentioned.

[a-ambass]

That Place of My Dreams

Summary:

There's always been something different about Wooyoung, even if Yeosang could never quite put his finger on it. Yeosang's happy as long as they're together and Ateez is so busy that it never seems worth spending the emotional energy to dissect their relationship until suddenly Wooyoung and San are attached at the hip and Yeosang can't remember the last time he spent one-on-one time with either of them.

An unexpected conversation at a fansign sparks a gradual realization that has Yeosang re-evaluating everything he thought he knew about his own sexuality and his feelings for his two best friends.

*Title inspired by Take Me Home by Ateez*

+

From the moment Kang Yeosang met Jung Wooyoung, he knew that there was something different about him. Wooyoung, although a bit over the top at first, understood Yeosang like no one else ever had. They had rapidly become best friends, holding each other up through thick and thin. Even when they were across the room from one another, Yeosang was aware of where Wooyoung was at all times. He could tell Wooyoung felt the same because every time Yeosang glanced over at him to share a smile, Wooyoung was already looking at him. The other boys teased them for being so codependent, but Yeosang was grateful for it. No matter how desperately he wanted to be an idol, entering the industry felt a bit like swimming with sharks and he didn't know if he would have been able to survive without Wooyoung at his back. In return, he bore Wooyoung's biting habit with grace and made sure to provide a listening ear to all of Wooyoung's insecurities. He knew when Wooyoung needed to rant without interruption and when he wanted to be reassured, and made sure he delivered the appropriate response every time. He was the only person Wooyoung would trust with everything, and he was proud of it.

The one topic of conversation they had learned to avoid was sex. Wooyoung had initially tried to talk and joke with Yeosang about it, but after a few of Yeosang's increasingly awkward responses he stopped bringing it up. It wasn't that Yeosang was squeamish about it, exactly, but he wasn't used to sex being talked about so openly and he didn't really get the whole fuss over it. He was only seventeen, after all — sex could wait until he had enough time to sleep for eight hours a night.

Of course, living with a bunch of other teenage boys meant that he couldn't avoid the topic completely. The others talked about their school crushes over dinner almost every day. Occasionally someone would ask Yeosang about his, but luckily his reputation for being shy and innocent deflected most of the attention from him. On the rare occasions it wasn't, Wooyoung was always there with a story wild enough to distract the others. Yeosang was pretty sure that Wooyoung made them all up, but he was grateful for it so he never called him out. It was during one of these conversations that the topic of friend-crushes came up.

One of the trainees was sarcastically fluttering his eyelashes as he recounted running into Taehyung in the hallway and chatting with him for a whole five minutes.

"My heart was honestly fluttering when he looked at me," the trainee recounted enthusiastically. "It felt like the world had faded around us, he's so pretty oh my god. I'm not sure how I managed to say anything back to him, and when he hugged me I practically melted into the floor."

The others laughed and teased him good-naturedly.

"Ah, to be young and in love," Wooyoung said, gripping his heart dramatically.

"If he asked you out, would you say yes?" Yeonjun asked teasingly. The other trainee laughed lightly and shook his head.

"Nah, it's just a friend-crush, you know? Not a crush-crush." Yeosang nodded along with the others even though he had no idea what they were talking about. It certainly sounded like the crushes he had had when he was younger. Although, come to think of it, it also sounded a lot like what he felt for Wooyoung. His heart did flutter a bit when he saw Wooyoung, especially when they shared one of their secret smiles, and he enjoyed their skinship in a way that he didn't with other trainees, but that was just because they were best friends, right? Aside from the romance they were practically a married couple already, so it made sense his feelings for Woo would run deep. But then what was the difference between a friend-crush and a crush-crush?

When he had finally gotten up the nerve to pull Soobin aside later and ask him about it, the other trainee had given him a bewildered look.

“You don’t desperately want to have sex with your friend-crushes, hyung,” Soobin said, slowly.

“Right, right, obviously,” Yeosang had laughed awkwardly and quickly changed the subject. He didn’t want to have sex with Wooyoung. The thought was just… weird. So maybe he had a friend-crush on Wooyoung?

Yeosang didn’t have time to think too much about the issue, though. Even more stressful than their daily schedule was Yeosang’s growing certainty that his future didn’t lie at Big Hit Entertainment. Once he had accepted that, there was no choice but for him to leave and try to chase his dreams somewhere else. The thought of leaving Wooyoung felt like a betrayal — after all, they had promised to debut together and how could they do that if they were at different companies? But Wooyoung told him in no uncertain terms that he didn’t want Yeosang to hold himself back on Wooyoung’s account, so Yeosang packed his bags with a heavy heart and left.

+

The day that Wooyoung joined him at KQ as a trainee was one of the best of Yeosang’s life. He still missed the other friends he had made at Big Hit, but he had always been closest to Wooyoung and at least now, when he accidentally referenced an inside joke from their Big Hit days, there was someone else who could understand. The growing pressure of their upcoming debut was intense, but Yeosang honestly felt like he could do anything now that Wooyoung was back by his side. Secure in the strength of their relationship, he threw himself into training and building bonds with the other six members that they would be debuting with.

And then they debuted, and what Yeosang had thought were intense schedules suddenly seemed like rest days. The weeks spun by in a haze of performances, recording sessions, and reality filming. They pulled themselves out of bed in the morning, worked all day, and collapsed back into bed at night. Oftentimes, if Wooyoung or Yeosang had had a bad day, they would crawl into the other's bunk and fall asleep to whispered assurances. On the surface, things seemed perfectly normal between the two of them.

The first time Yeosang noticed that things had changed was when they were given a surprise half-day off to recuperate before a long day of filming. He automatically looked to Wooyoung to see if he wanted to grab some ice cream, only to catch Wooyoung and San already leaving the room with joint hands. The pattern continued — every time they had time off or were assigned a pair activity, Wooyoung and San had teamed up by the time Yeosang looked over.

It’s not that he was jealous. He loved San too, and didn’t begrudge the two of them their time together. It was just… he missed Wooyoung. Missed when they used to stay up way too late chatting about everything and nothing, how they could know exactly what the other was thinking with just a glance. He knew that part of that was his own fault — Yeosang had spent so much energy trying to get to know the other members that when he finally looked up Wooyoung had attached himself to San. Now that he realized what had happened, it felt like it was too late. They still saw each other every day, of course, but he couldn’t remember the last time they had had an in-depth conversation between just the two of them. Wooyoung’s energy and charisma had always been one of Yeosang’s favorite things about him, but lately it felt like a curse. Everyday Yeosang would wake up determined to ask Wooyoung to hang out with him but, by the time their schedules were over and Yeosang had worked up the nerves to broach the subject, Wooyoung had already gone off somewhere with San or one of his other idol friends.

So instead Yeosang spent his nights moping around the house and half-heartedly trying to work on his songwriting skills. The others noticed, because of course they did, and each tried to cheer him up in their own way. Yunho offered to play games with Yeosang, Jongho and Mingi teamed up and dragged him out to the movies, Hongjoong stayed late in the studio and showed him the basics of producing, and Seonghwa patiently listened to him talk through his disordered thoughts within the safety of the elder's bunk. Yeosang appreciated it all, and his relationship with the others grew even deeper for it, but none of them could replace the relationship he had with Wooyoung.

Even worse, the more he talked things through with Seonghwa the more he realized that he was missing San as well. He didn’t know San as well as he knew Wooyoung, of course, but Yeosang thought they had shared a special relationship and gentle understanding all the same. Whereas San was soft and cuddly and acquiescent to most of the other members, he took the lead a bit more with Yeosang. Whether it was pulling Yeosang into his arms or wiping away the bits of food that always got stuck around his mouth, San looked after Yeosang in a more tender way than Wooyoung did. Wooyoung was fiercely protective of Yeosang whereas San smothered him with compliments and affection, and both approaches made Yeosang feel a bit unsteady yet safe and cared for at the same time. Now that the two were suddenly spending all of their off-time together, Yeosang was desperately missing the comfort they had both provided.

In a way, it wasn’t a surprise when Wooyoung finally sought him out only to nervously tell him that he had feelings for San and wanted to ask him out. Yeosang’s stomach dropped but he managed to paste on a bright smile and tell Wooyoung that he was happy for him and of course San would say yes.

“So, you’re okay with it?” Wooyoung asked hesitantly, looking a bit surprised. Yeosang wasn’t sure what he had done to make Wooyoung think that he wouldn’t support him, but he knew he needed to nip that in the bud so he straightened his spine determinedly and told Wooyoung in no uncertain terms that he loved him no matter what and wanted Wooyoung to be happy more than anything. It was all true, which made it easier to ignore the sinking feeling in Yeosang’s stomach that he had no idea how to explain.

“But, I thought - ” Wooyoung started to say before they were interrupted by a knock on the door.

“Wooyoung, you wanted to leave now, right?” San asked, poking his head around the door.

“Yeah…” Wooyoung trailed off, looking at San and then back at Yeosang.

“Go,” Yeosang said, pushing him gently. “Have fun.”

“Okay.” Wooyoung pressed a sudden kiss to Yeosang’s cheek and then quickly got up and joined San at the door. It swung shut behind them, leaving Yeosang alone in his bed with one hand belatedly pressed to his flaming cheek.

Wooyoung didn’t come back to their room that night, and the way he and San clung to one another the next day confirmed that they had gotten together even before Wooyoung whispered the news to Yeosang before dance practice. At some point during the day they must have told the other members, because no one blinked an eye when San kissed Wooyoung on the lips in thanks for cooking dinner that night. They toned it down when the cameras were on, but in the privacy of their dorm San and Wooyoung were somehow even more inseparable than they had been before. The eight of them settled into a new routine around the couple, with Yunho and Wooyoung switching beds a couple nights a week. Yeosang wondered why they didn't just switch rooms for good, but he didn't want to ask in case Wooyoung actually did decide to leave him. Wooyoung still slept in his own bed most nights, so Yeosang just tried to go with the flow the way the others seemed to.

Yeosang wasn’t really sure why it bothered him so much. He had asked himself for the millionth time if he had a crush on Wooyoung, and had even considered the possibility that he might have a crush on San, but after careful analysis that just didn’t seem to be the case. The thought of kissing them seemed a bit nice, certainly better than the idea of making out with any of the other members, but the idea of having sex with either of them just… wasn’t appealing. He shuddered a bit. No, they were his closest friends and he just missed them both desperately, Yeosang decided. But he would let them have their honeymoon period before bringing it up and just try to enjoy the attention they lavished on him during filming, in the meantime.

The others each tried to get him to talk about it again, but this time Yeosang clammed up. He had no idea what was going on with himself, so how could he possibly explain it to someone else? And, more than that, Yeosang was starting to feel like he was dragging them all down over what was probably just him being immature and whiny. So he made sure he took care of the others when they looked especially tired, threw himself even harder into his extra practice sessions, and tried desperately to forget whatever was making him feel so weird. Unfortunately, every song he tried to write somehow ended up being about Wooyoung or San and dancing alone in the studio only reminded him of the days when he and Wooyoung used to stay up for hours practicing together. What did finally distract him was a completely unexpected crisis sparked by a conversation with a fan at one of their pre-concert fansigns.

This particular fan seemed a bit shy when they first sat down, but also had a determined glint in their eye that Yeosang had come to realize meant that the fan had a story to share.

“I was really nervous before coming out to my parents, so I listened to Star 1117 and Light on repeat,” the fan told him earnestly. “It really helped me find the strength to talk with them.”

“Wow,” Yeosang said admiringly, blinking back the sudden tears that had sprung to his eyes. This wasn’t the first time he had heard this type of story, but it never stopped making him tear up. Everything they had been through was worth it for even one moment like this. “Congratulations, that’s so brave of you. It really means a lot to us that you’re able to find comfort in our music. If it’s not too personal, did it go okay?”

The fan laughed lightly. “Yeah, they still love me and everything, they just didn’t know what asexuality was at all so I had to do a lot of explaining.”

“A-asexuality?” Yeosang repeated. He had heard the term before but he wasn’t quite sure what it meant.

“Ah, it means that I don’t experience sexual attraction,” the fan explained haltingly. “A lot of people think it means you don’t experience any attraction at all but that’s not necessarily true. I definitely experience romantic attraction, I just don’t want the sexual side of things.”

“Oh,” Yeosang said, numbly. He shook himself and refocused on the fan in front of him. “Thank you for explaining, I didn’t know. But I’m glad it went well!” The fan smiled gently at him and moved on to asking him about the concert stages.

Yeosang managed to push the conversation to the back of his mind and keep it together for the rest of the fansign, but as soon as they were in the relative privacy of backstage he collapsed onto a couch and pulled out his phone to disguise the way his mind was racing. Weren’t romantic and sexual attraction the same thing? And if not, what was the difference? It felt important, even if he wasn't quite sure why. There were too many stylists and managers running around for Yeosang to feel comfortable looking up the answers, so he just scrolled mindlessly through his photos. He hadn’t even realized that he had stopped on one particular photo of Wooyoung kissing San on the cheek until Seonghwa plopped down beside him and hooked his chin on Yeosang’s shoulder to look down at his phone.

“That’s a cute photo,” Seonghwa said knowingly. Yeosang refocused on his phone and blushed.

“I guess…” he said, quickly swiping past it to a photo of the eight of them grabbing ice cream together after a particularly good practice.

“You know, if there’s ever anything you need to talk to us about…” Seonghwa said, trailing off.

“What - what do you mean?” Yeosang asked, taken aback. Seonghwa studied him for a moment.

“Nothing in particular, you’ve just been a bit quiet lately. You know we all love you and support you, no matter what — if there’s ever anything you want to tell us or talk through, we’ll all be here for you. I won’t even be offended if you go to Hongjoong instead.” Seonghwa tapped him playfully on the nose as he finished speaking and Yeosang raised a skeptical eyebrow at him.

“Well, I won’t be offended much, anyways,” Seonghwa conceded. “By the way, I saw the cutest video of this baby and kitten playing together, wanna see?” Yeosang gratefully latched onto the change of subject and let Seonghwa’s comforting presence soothe his confusion, for now.

After they returned home from the concert, Yeosang impatiently rushed through his shower and changed into his pajamas, hoping for once that his room would be empty so that he could look up his questions in privacy. The world seemed to be conspiring against him, however, because when he entered he found a freshly-showered Woosan cuddled up in Wooyoung’s bunk watching videos on San’s phone.

“Sang-ah!” Wooyoung said happily, sitting up slightly. “We were waiting for you! Do you want to watch a movie with us?”

“Ah, no, thanks, that’s okay,” Yeosang said hurriedly, grabbing his headphones and charger and backing out of the room again. “You two enjoy.”

“But - ” Yeosang pretended not to hear and let the door swing shut behind him, missing the crestfallen looks on San and Wooyoung’s faces.

He paused in the hallway, not really sure where to go. Seonghwa’s words from earlier replayed in his head and he headed down towards the room that Seonghwa and Hongjoong shared. The door was already partially open so he stuck his head around it. The eldest two members were sitting at opposite ends of their shared desk. Seonghwa was in the early stages of putting together some type of model, and Hongjoong was reforming yet another jean jacket.

“Hyungs?” Yeosang asked. Seonghwa and Hongjoong looked up from their respective projects.

“Is everything okay, Yeosang-ah?” Seonghwa asked concernedly.

“Yeah, just… Wooyoung and San are in our room so would it be okay if I stay here for a bit?”

“Yes, of course,” Hongjoong said, frowning and putting down his paintbrush. “Did they sexile you? Because I can talk with them about -”

“No, no!” Yeosang said hurriedly. “They’re watching a movie. I just wanted to read some stuff, so,” he trailed off and waved his phone awkwardly, hoping they wouldn’t ask why he didn’t just go to the living room.

“Ah, okay. You can take my bunk?” Hongjoong suggested.

Yeosang gratefully made himself comfortable on the bed, carefully arranging himself so that the screen of his phone was facing away from his hyungs, and typed ‘asexuality’ into the search bar with shaking fingers.

+

Yeosang had been reading through various websites and forums for almost an hour and, between translating the English comments and trying to process the information being thrown at him, his brain was completely fried. He threw his phone down in frustration and buried his face in his hands.

“Yeosang? Are you okay? Are you reading hate comments again?” Hongjoong asked, coming over to pick up the phone from where it had fallen on the bed. “I swear to god, I'll -”

Hongjoong’s voice cut off as he looked down at the site that was pulled up. Yeosang peeked cautiously at his leader through his fingers, watching Hongjoong’s face as he read through the page. Hongjoong looked up at him and Yeosang quickly closed the gap between his fingers, screwing his eyes shut, too, for good measure. The silence stretched out, broken only by Seonghwa getting up and coming over to see what was happening. Yeosang felt the bed sink down next to him and automatically scooted over to make room for the hyungs to sit down.

“Sang-ah, why were you looking up asexuality?” Hongjoong asked eventually, tugging Yeosang’s hands away from his face.

“Well, at the fansign, there was someone who said that they’re, you know, and - and I think I might...” Yeosang trailed off, not quite able to say the word out loud.

“Be asexual?” Seonghwa filled in, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. Yeosang nodded jerkily, keeping his eyes fixed on the wall.

“Oh, Sang-ah,” Hongjoong said. “We love you no matter what, you know that right? It doesn’t make a difference for us.”

“Unless there’s anything you want us to change about our behavior,” Seonghwa added, Hongjoong nodding his agreement.

“But how did I not know?” Yeosang burst out. “I’m twenty-one, shouldn’t I have figured it out by now? I always knew there was something wrong with me but I didn’t think -”

“Hey,” Seonghwa said firmly, cupping Yeosang’s face in his hands. “There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you, okay? You’re not broken, you’re not wrong, you’re perfect just the way you are.”

The overwhelmed tears that Yeosang had been suppressing all evening burst out at that, and he launched himself at his hyungs. They took it in stride, wrapping around him tightly in a three-way hug and whispering assurances as he cried himself out. Eventually, he pulled back a little, letting Seonghwa wipe away the remnants of his tears.

“Sang-ah, do you want to talk things through with us and read a bit more, or do you want to take a rest and go to sleep?” Hongjoong asked.

Yeosang looked up at his hyungs. They were watching him patiently, faces open, and Yeosang could tell that they would be fine with whichever option he chose.

“I think I want to go to sleep. There’s a lot to think about but today was a lot and I don’t think I’m going to get anywhere productive with it.”

“Okay, well we’re here for you whenever you want to talk about more of it,” Seonghwa said.

“And I’ll see if I can slip some more awareness training into our schedule to make sure that the others are aware of asexuality and what it means even if you don’t want to tell them yet.”

Yeosang shuddered at the thought of telling anyone else. He still couldn’t say the word out loud yet, there was no way he’d be able to explain it to one of the other members.

“Definitely not telling anyone else yet,” he said firmly. “But that would be nice, thank you.”

“Anything for our baby,” Seonghwa cooed, squishing his cheeks together and laughing at the disgruntled expression on Yeosang’s face.

“Ooh, if you don’t want to go back to your room just yet, do you want to stay here for the night?" Hongjoong asked. "We could push our mattresses together and have a slumber party! We haven’t done one of those in ages.”

Even if Yeosang had wanted to go back to his room and face Wooyoung and San again, which he was definitely not ready for, there was no way he could say no to the excited look on Hongjoong’s face. Ever since their leader had read an article detailing the 10 Reasons to Bring Pillow Forts Back Into Your Life, he had been absolutely obsessed with making them everywhere he could. Under his determined leadership Ateez had once made a massive blanket fort that encompassed their entire living room and slept in it for four nights straight. At the end, it hadn’t been their manager but Seonghwa who had put his foot down and told them in no uncertain terms that if he had to wash one more snack-stained pillowcase he would only communicate with them in aegyo for the rest of the month. The threat had been sufficient for them to take a few last selcas before dismantling the fort for good.

Seonghwa seemed okay with it this time, though, because as soon as Yeosang nodded he gave him one last squeeze and stood up to prepare. Hongjoong and Seonghwa kept the conversation light and playful as they pulled the two mattresses onto the floor and piled sheets and pillows on top of them. Yeosang helped without saying much, but he managed to whisper out a quiet but heartfelt ‘thank you’ once the lights were out and he was sandwiched in between two clingy hyungs.

“Anytime,” they whispered in tandem, squeezing him a bit tighter before settling down to sleep.

+

Hongjoong kept his word and quietly tucked a LGBTQ+ awareness training into their schedule. He even arranged their recording timetables so that the training was delivered in two sessions, one for Mingi, Jongho, San, Yunho and Wooyoung and another for Seonghwa, Hongjoong and Yeosang. Over the next few weeks, Yeosang took advantage of any spare time he had to keep reading forums and watch videos about asexuality. He even delved into fanfiction, carefully avoiding the ones about idol groups, and took comfort in reading romance stories that weren’t filled with sexual tension and erotic scenes. In between work and research, he vaguely realized that he felt comfortable in his skin in a way he never had before. Even though he was more aware of all the ways in which he was different from the people around him, it was reassuring to understand why and to know that there were others out there who felt the same. Part of him wanted to reach out to the fan from the fansign, but he knew that it was probably not a good idea until he was ready to come out publicly. And seeing as he still had trouble saying that he was asexual out loud, that likely wouldn’t be for years.

While Yeosang was preoccupied thinking through everything, he vaguely noticed that San and Wooyoung had escalated their skinship with him. There was one particular day of filming where the two quite literally fought over him, the others watching in amusement. Yeosang tried to bear it all with his trademark sarcasm but he felt a bit weird around the two of them still and wasn’t sure if he was pulling it off. Some of his panic must have shown through because Mingi suddenly ended the whole thing by blowing a massive raspberry into Hongjoong’s ear and purposefully bulldozing into Wooyoung and San as he tried to escape their leader’s wrath. Yeosang took advantage of the distraction to join Yunho on the other side of the room, and carefully avoided both Wooyoung and San for the rest of the day.

He thought he had been subtle but, as soon as their director told them they were finished for the day, Wooyoung stalked over to him with purpose.

“Are you mad at me?” he demanded, crossing his arms over his chest.

“No?” Yeosang said, genuinely taken aback.

“Oh come on, I’m not an idiot, I know you better than that. I could tell you were ignoring me. And it’s not just today, you’ve been doing it for weeks.” Yeosang froze, not sure how to escape this.

“It’s not about you,” he tried hesitantly.

“So there is something, then?” Wooyoung asked triumphantly.

“Wooyoung, if Yeosang doesn’t want to tell you, he doesn’t have to,” Seonghwa interjected. Wooyoung stared at Seonghwa, and at Hongjoong behind him, and then looked back at Yeosang with hurt in his eyes.

“You told the hyungs but you didn’t tell me?” he asked angrily, taking a step forward. Yeosang winced and stepped back nervously. Wooyoung always reacted with anger when he was deeply hurt, and Yeosang didn’t know how to pacify him this time. He opened his mouth hesitantly and then closed it again, unable to get the words out. He couldn’t tell Wooyoung what was really going on, especially not with the rest of the group members still there. Wooyoung snorted bitterly and shook his head.

“So much for best friends.”

“Jung Wooyoung,” Hongjoong said sternly, stepping in. “That is enough. It’s been a long day but that’s no excuse to yell at one another over petty jealousies. If Yeosang says it’s not about you then it’s not about you.”

Jongho wrapped an arm around Yeosang.

“C’mon hyung,” he said, pulling Yeosang to the door. “Let’s take the first car back and go to that restaurant you like.”

Yeosang followed him numbly, the room silent behind them. Jongho chattered mindlessly all the way back to the dorm, telling random childhood stories that were entertaining enough that Yeosang found himself laughing by the time they got back to the dorm. Jongho smiled at him proudly and hopped out of the car, linking their hands together as they walked up to their dorm.

Yeosang expected Jongho to play his usual maknae-hyung role and ask him about what it was that he wasn’t willing to tell Wooyoung, but the conversation stayed casual the entire time they were gorging themselves on jjigae and bingsu. It probably wasn’t on purpose, but Yeosang thought fervently to himself that avoiding the subject was the most effective interrogation technique he had ever been subjected to. By the time they were walking back he felt ready to explode, and when Jongho stopped him a couple blocks away from their dorm with a gentle ‘hyung,’ Yesoang couldn’t hold it in any longer.

“I’m asexual,” he blurted out.

“Okay, hyung, thank you for trusting me with that, I love you the same no matter your sexuality. Or... asexuality? Are you aromantic as well?” Yeosang stared at him.

“No? Why are you so calm about this? You sound like a dictionary.” Jongho blushed a bit.

“I had a friend at school who’s bi, she told me a lot about her coming out experiences so I tried to prepare a bit so I wouldn’t make any mistakes when someone came out to me. I guess it backfired? But I really do mean it.”

“No, no, it’s cute. Wow, truly the maknae-on-top,” Yeosang teased, poking him playfully. Jongho smiled back and wrapped an arm around him, clearly relieved that he hadn’t ruined anything. They kept walking in peaceful silence, processing what had just happened.

“Does it bother you when we say you’re sexy and stuff?” Jongho asked suddenly. “We could at least use different words when we have to compliment you on camera and of course we can stop completely when we’re at home.”

“I don’t know,” Yeosang said, taken aback. “I never thought about that. I don’t think it bothers me? As long as there aren’t any expectations around it or anything. I don’t think I’m sex-repulsed, exactly, it’s just not appealing.”

“That makes sense,” Jongho nodded. “You’ve been thinking about it a lot recently, haven’t you? That’s why you’ve been so distracted?”

“Yeah, it’s just...it makes everything different, you know? As though I’ve been speaking a different language my whole life and only just realized it. All those times people said they wanted to have sex with someone random walking by or called me sexy and I thought it was like, something you just say, you know? I didn’t think people meant it. And when I told people I had a crush on someone, did they think I wanted to have sex with them? Because... gross. And, I thought I couldn’t have a crush on them because I didn’t want to have sex with them, but…” Yeosang trailed off, suddenly realizing he might have said too much. Jongho seemed to realize it as well, but after a slight hesitation he thankfully decided to ignore it and wrapped Yeosang in a hug instead.

“I wish there was something I could say that could make it all better for you, hyung, and of course I can’t understand exactly what you’re going through, but I’ll always be here for you if you want to talk through any of it or even just rant about things. Now and forever, okay?”

“You’re going to make me cry,” Yeosang complained, squeezing him tighter. “When did you grow up and get so strong, hm?”

“Hyungg, I’m only a year younger than you, I’m not a baby!” Jongho protested, pretending to try to escape the hug.

“Of course you are! Our precious, handsome, main vocal, maknae-baby,” Yeosang said.

Praising Jongho and watching him blush with embarrassment was one of his favorite pastimes, so Yeosang proceeded to enthusiastically shower him with increasingly-outlandish compliments the entire way back to the dorm.

Wooyoung hadn’t been in their room when Yeosang returned with Jongho that night, but he crawled into Yeosang’s bed the next morning and apologized profusely.

“You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to, of course, it’s just...I feel like you’ve been avoiding me lately? And I know you said it’s not about me, so maybe it wasn’t on purpose, but I think the last time we spent time alone together was literally months ago.”

“I’m surprised you noticed,” Yeosang blurted out before his mind could catch up with his mouth. Wooyoung froze.

“What does that mean,” he asked carefully. Yeosang swallowed thickly and looked around frantically for a distraction.

“Sang-ah.”

“It just...didn’t seem like you had noticed,” Yeosang said quietly. “We’ve been busy lately, and I know you have a lot of other friends, and you and San got together recently, so I didn’t want to intrude.”

“Yeosang. You’re my best friend, even if I apparently haven’t been that great about showing it recently. I always want you around, we belong together. You’ve always made my burdens lighter, never contributed to them. If anything, I wish you would share your problems with me more often so I could make your life easier.”

Wooyoung paused here, clearly hoping for Yeosang to say something but, when the silence stretched between them, he sighed and hugged Yeosang tightly.

“Let’s go grab breakfast? Just the two of us?”

“Yeah, okay.” Wooyoung whooped loudly and Yeosang raised an eyebrow at him.

“Sannie wanted to play games with you later but I snagged you first,” he explained. Yeosang rolled his eyes.

“C’mon, we’d better get ready,” he said, pushing Wooyoung off of him. “The sooner we get dressed the sooner we can head out.”

+

Yeosang did end up playing games with San later that evening as well, and he was glad that the air between the three of them had cleared somewhat, but he couldn’t help feeling like he had lied to Wooyoung. Maybe his asexuality crisis wasn’t directly related to Wooyoung and Yeosang hadn’t exactly been mad at him, just...lonely, but he had been acting differently around San and Wooyoung ever since the fansign. Yeosang knew intellectually that he wasn’t obligated to tell anyone about his asexuality if he didn’t want to, but he was also keenly aware that it was the first time since they had met that he had ever gone through some type of major crisis without Wooyoung supporting him at every step. He wanted to talk things through with Wooyoung, and he desperately needed San’s unique brand of smothering comfort, but it had gotten to the point where he had no idea how to ask for it. They were the two most important people in his life, and if they reacted badly he wasn’t sure if he could survive it. So, even though the prospect had tendrils of guilt swirling around in his stomach, he decided to avoid the two of them until he could figure out a better way to come out to them.

Yeosang was still feeling bad about it the next night as he entered the living room for their weekly group movie night, clutching a giant bowl of popcorn to his chest. He hesitated in front of the couch, unsure of where to sit. Given his new resolution to avoid San and Wooyoung at all costs, joining San on the closer end of the couch wasn’t an option. He must have taken too long debating between joining Jongho on the loveseat and trying to steal the other corner spot on the couch from Yunho, though, because San pulled him down into his lap with an impatient ‘come here, you’re blocking the view.’ Yeosang cast a bewildered look at the still-blank tv screen.

“But there’s nothing to see?”

“Hmm maybe you were the view this whole time,” San said with a teasing wink.

“That doesn’t even make sense,” Yeosang protested, blushing furiously and trying to get up from San’s lap.

“Nooo stay, you’re my favorite cuddle buddy!” San pouted dramatically at him, wrapping his arms tightly around Yeosang so that Yeosang couldn’t get up without spilling the popcorn.

“What about Wooyoung?”

“What about me?” Wooyoung asked, nonchalantly lifting Yeosang’s legs and sliding underneath them to snuggle into San’s side. Yeosang froze, not really sure what to do now that he was effectively sitting on both of their laps.

“Sang-ah?” San asked. “Are you okay? You went a bit stiff.”

“Ah, yeah, just...sore from practice.” It wasn’t a lie, exactly, Yeosang reasoned. He was still a bit sore from practice, even if that wasn’t the reason he was so awkward around them nowadays.

“You work too hard,” Wooyoung scolded gently, starting to massage his calves. San joined in, working out the knots at the base of his neck, and Yeosang - Yeosang gave up. He melted into their ministrations, letting his head rest against San’s broad chest, and decided to worry about what this all meant tomorrow. Seonghwa glanced at them curiously as he entered but thankfully ignored the scene and started up the movie. Yeosang tried to pay attention, but he really had been exhausted and it was getting difficult to keep his eyes open. He could vaguely hear San and Wooyoung whispering urgently to one another above his head, and he thought he felt the press of lips on his forehead at one point, but sleep claimed him before he could ask them what was going on.

When he woke up the next morning only to be greeted by the sight of Yunho in Wooyoung’s bunk, he was forced to admit that the disappointment in his chest was probably an indication that his feelings for Wooyoung and San were a bit more than platonic — he had felt more from San’s gentle grasp on his wrist when he tugged Yeosang into his lap than from an entire night of snuggling with Seonghwa and Hongjoong. Of course, it didn’t really matter how he felt about them. They were together, happily so. Even if Wooyoung and San miraculously returned his feelings and were okay with a polyamorous relationship, Yeosang’s asexuality was a bit of a curveball that he had no idea how they would react to. Yeosang wasn’t really the type to confess his feelings to a crush but Wooyoung was, so surely if the younger had felt anything for him he would have told Yeosang a long time ago. This many years into their friendship there was no way that there was anything romantic on Wooyoung's end. Yeosang wasn’t sure exactly when his feelings for Wooyoung and San had developed, but he was determined to suppress them until they went away and everything could just return to normal.

Of course, as soon as he had decided this, Wooyoung and San suddenly seemed to be everywhere. Less than a month ago he had been hard-pressed to get five minutes alone with either one but, ever since the not-fight after filming, the couple had started spending more time in Yeosang and Wooyoung’s room and asking him to join them when they watched tv shows or were headed out to grab food. Yeosang knew they were probably just trying to include him since he was already in the room and it would have been rude to leave him out, but he honestly wished they would go back to ignoring him for a week or two rather than inadvertently rubbing everything he couldn’t have in his face each night. Yeosang took to staying at work to avoid them, spending long hours at the studio working on his performance skills or editing songs.

It was on one of these late nights, when he was heading to grab a snack out of the company kitchen, that he came across Mingi and Yunho giggling madly over something on Mingi's phone.

“What on earth are you two doing?” Yeosang asked. “Shouldn’t you be asleep?”

“Well, I was getting Yunho's feedback on this new rap I wrote but then he showed me all these Ateez quizzes and we get a bit distracted,” Mingi said, still suppressing his laughter.

“Ateez quizzes? Like trivia?” Yeosang asked curiously.

“No, no. Well, I guess there are those too, but these are personality quizzes. There’s tons of them — 'Who is your ACTUAL Ateez bias,' ‘What type of Atiny are you,’ ‘Which member of Ateez are you,’ that sort of thing.”

“Apparently I’m Hongjoong,” Mingi interjected proudly. Yeosang snorted incredulously.

“Don’t tell him that, he’ll sulk for ages.”

“The one we’re on right now is ‘Which member of Ateez is your soulmate.’ I bet Mingi a box of pepero sticks that he’d get Jongho, but he’s determined to get Hongjoong again.”

“Can I join the bet?” Yeosang asked, perching himself on the arm of the couch next to Mingi so he could look over his shoulder. “I think you’ll get Seonghwa.”

“Ooh plot twist,” Yunho said excitedly. They all groaned and collapsed back against the couch when Mingi filled out the last question and got ‘Song Mingi’ as a result.

“God, how narcissistic can you be?” Yunho asked playfully, shoving Mingi away from him. “If you had to make us all lose the bet couldn’t you at least get me?” Mingi shrugged playfully.

“You’re just mad that you keep getting me for everything.”

“See if I ever buy you food again,” Yunho threatened. Mingi ignored him and offered the phone to Yeosang.

“Want to try? I’ll eat my hat if you don’t get San.” Yeosang stared at him.

“San?”

“Oh come on, it’s no secret you think he’s hot. You couldn’t keep your eyes off of him at dance today. Wooyoung too, but that’s old news. Hey, I don’t blame you, they’re both being particularly sexy these days.”

“I don’t think they’re sexy,” Yeosang said stiffly, getting up from the couch. “I don’t.”

“Okay,” Yunho said slowly, staring at him. Yeosang glanced at them, and then looked away.

“Sorry,” he said finally, still avoiding eye contact. "I -" Yeosang stopped, unsure of what to say next. He had been thinking about coming out to the other members but it never seemed to be the right time and he didn't want the pressure that an organized family meeting would bring.

Seeing his hesitation, Mingi pulled him down to sit in between the two on the couch.

“You know,” he said gently, “it would be okay if you thought about them sexually. None of us would judge you. And I don’t want to jump to any conclusions, but they look at you like you hung the stars.”

“I can’t, though,” Yeosang said automatically.

“What do you mean by ‘can’t?’” Yunho asked. Yeosang hesitated before deciding to take the final leap.

“Like, I physically can’t. I’m - I don’t feel sexual attraction.”

“Oh.” Mingi said. “Is...is asexuality a term that-”

“Yes,” Yeosang interjected firmly, sending a mental thanks to Hongjoong for ensuring they were all familiar with the term. “I - I’m asexual.”

“Can I just ask, you’ve talked about wanting a boyfriend before, is that still something you want?”

“Yes, I’m not aromantic. I still feel romantic attraction, there’s just nothing sexual about it.”

“Okay, that makes sense. And are you romantically attracted to San and Wooyoung?” Yeosang froze. That was not where he had expected the line of questioning to take them. Mingi took one look at his rapidly darkening cheeks and hooted in triumph. He and Yunho exchanged a glance over Yeosang’s head and simultaneously attacked Yeosang with kisses. Yeosang dissolved into giggles and flailed, fruitlessly trying to fend them off.

“Aw, our little baby’s in love,” Yunho cooed, wrapping his limbs around Yeosang and pressing one last smacking kiss to the side of his head.

“But in all seriousness, Yeosang-ah, thank you for trusting us with that. We love you always.”

“Yeah, you’ll always be our baby,” Mingi added. “Even if you’re in love with idiots.”

“Hey!” Yeosang protested, not sure which part to be more offended by. “I’m literally older than you!”

“One of life’s great mysteries,” Mingi nodded somberly. Yunho rolled his eyes and stood up.

“C’mon, you two. We’d better be getting back to the dorm.”

+

Now that he had come out to Mingi and Yunho, Wooyoung and San were the only two members who didn’t know about Yeosang’s asexuality. He had decided he was ready to tell them but, every time he tried, he chickened out and his guilt intensified. He tried to take a bit of space again but the couple still insisted on inviting him to join them any time they were doing literally anything, and Yeosang was only able to resist their joint pouting efforts for so long. The skinship had soared to new heights, as well — it seemed like not an hour went by, at work or at home, without one of them whispering a compliment in his ear or pulling him into a gentle backhug. There were even multiple occasions where Yeosang was woken in the middle of the night by San crawling into his bed. He tried to tell San that he was getting into the wrong bed but San just mumbled sleepily back at him and clung tighter, leaving Yeosang no choice but to relax into his embrace and fall back asleep.

Yeosang was confused by it all, but ultimately the three of them were in a much better place than they had been in months so he was completely taken by surprise when the two of them sat him down in his bedroom with the type of serious expressions that usually prefaced an intervention.

"Am I in trouble?" he asked, bewildered.

“No, we have something to say,” San said seriously. “I don’t think it’s going to come as a shock, but can you let us get through all of it before giving us your answer?”

“Okay?” Yeosang said hesitantly. “What’s up?”

“We’re in love with you,” Wooyoung said firmly. “And it’s okay if you don’t feel the same way, we’ll be happy just staying friends with you since it seems like that's what you want. But, Sang-ah, I’ve been gone on you since Big Hit days. I never wanted to mess anything up between us, but then San came along..”

“And of course I felt the same way,” San continued, “because how could I not, with you being all cute and perfect and fierce and sarcastic but soft and cuddly at the same time. We decided together that we would rather have everything out in the open and know your answer once and for all rather than pining after you desperately. So, will you go out with us?”

Yeosang stared at them both with wide eyes.

“You...you’re in love with me? Both of you?” Wooyoung nodded earnestly.

“We love each other, of course, but things don’t feel complete without you. Whether we’re cuddling or out on a date or -”

“I’m asexual,” Yeosang interrupted. They stared at him, apparently stunned into silence. “Is - is that okay?” he asked tentatively when they didn't say anything.

“Of course!” Wooyoung said loudly, launching himself at Yeosang. “I’m sorry I was just surprised, I love you no matter what, we both do, it doesn’t change anything for us.” San wormed his way underneath the two of them, wrapping Yeosang in a tight hug.

“What he said, thank you for telling us, we’ll support you however you want us to.”

Yeosang exhaled shakily, the tension melting away fully for what felt like the first time in weeks.

“Wait,” San said suddenly. “Is that why you’ve been so quiet? Ever since that concert?”

“Yeah,” Yeosang nodded. “A fan told me she was asexual during the fansign and it stuck with me so I looked it up that night in Seonghwa and Hongjoong’s room and figured it out.”

“And then I yelled at you about it?” Wooyoung said in horror. “I’m so, so sorry Yeosang, god I can’t believe -”

“No, no, it’s okay, you didn’t know. And, honestly, I wanted to tell you from the beginning I just didn’t know how to bring it up, and if it had gone badly… you both are so important, I couldn’t have handled it.” They both hugged him tighter at that.

“Is that why you ignored our flirting, because you thought we only wanted sex?” San asked. Yeosang froze.

“What flirting?” he asked.

“Are you actually serious?” Wooyoung asked, gaping at him. “We asked you to join our dates a million times, fought over you on v-live, told you all the ways we thought you looked attractive even off camera… I mean, San kept sleeping with you, for goodness sakes.”

“I thought that was an accident…” Yeosang said dumbly.

“You are the stupidest smart person I have ever met,” San said firmly. “But I love you anyways.”

Yeosang flushed, the full meaning of those words finally settling in.

“But...you guys like sex.”

“And you don’t, right?” Wooyoung said simply. “We wouldn't do anything you don’t want.”

“I...but I don’t know exactly where my boundaries are,” Yeosang said hesitantly. He wanted this to work desperately, but he didn’t think he would be able to handle getting a taste of what he wanted only for it to fall apart over his sexuality.

“We’ll figure them out together,” San promised. “Whatever you’re comfortable with is okay. If you never want to do anything but be with us that’s enough, and if there are some days where you want to try a bit more and others where you don’t, that’s okay too. We love you, Sangie, that’s not going to change, we’ll figure out a way that works for us.” Yeosang studied their faces, seeing nothing but love and support, and decided to take the leap.

“Yes, I guess, is my answer, then” he said, quietly but clearly. “I love you too.”