#Alright with that intermission out of the way let's jump back in

[pyrepostings]

I so can't do cringe comedy. I'm on the irl episode for supernatural and I just can't get past the Sam and Dean can't act scene.

Just read the lines! This is your life! You act your asses off every job you work just do the thing!

Theres forgetting specific lines or thinking Misha is really Cas but pull it together on set. This shouldn't be that difficult for you two.

Theres also the aspect of this isn't entirely new to them. They've met their fans before. Why aren't they treating this like prophet shenaniganry and using it for recon? The initial shock shouldn't last this long. They've also been on set before- Dean got a headset and everything.

[sweatervest-obsessed]

Feeling Unwell

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader (she/her pronouns)

WC: 1740

CW: Angst, illness, mentions of hospitals, satirical hatred of children, fluff, spencer being the best

a/n: Some fluff to bring you a brief intermission to your Kinktober readings.

Spencer Masterlist

The worst feeling in the world is waking up with a headache. 

Your head felt like a dance floor where ballerinas were doing their petit allegro warm ups, and there was no mercy. Every single sound filled your unopened eyes with fluff from a stuffed animal. 

The second worst feeling in the world was realizing that you couldn’t breathe through your nose, almost suffocating yourself from trying. 

“Maybe a tissue would help.” 

Not even opening your eyes, you use your hand to shove some part of your husband, playful, but grumpily. 

“Thanks, genius.” You grumbled, and curled further into yourself, yanking the blanket over with you. 

The man next to you let out a small, unserious, exclamation as the blanket that was once covering him was single-handedly yanked from his body. 

“Well good morning to you too.” 

You felt as he sat up, and properly woke up; most likely running his hands through his hair and putting on his glasses. 

Spencer then placed a hand on your hip, leaning over and kissing your head. “Morning baby.”

But before he could pull away, the heat coming off of your forehead was alarming, even to him. 

The feeling of his lips on your head was momentary bliss, even if it was psychosomatic. Anything Spencer did for you (or to you, if you know what I mean…) always felt good. Being cared for in a genuine way was a true testament to how much people can benefit from love: emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and yes, even physically. 

Spencer gently brushed aside some of the hair covering your temple, and kissed it again, this time with the full intent of taking your temperature. 

“Can I help you?” 

“Does your head hurt?” 

You snorted, but winced as you did, since you didn’t actually cause any sound. Your sinuses were so blocked up, that you ended up making your headache ten times worse.

And that was when the coughing started. 

Not being able to breathe through your nose meant that your chest already ached, but then all of a sudden you couldn’t breathe at all. Your ears both popped, and you could have sworn there was a constant ringing in your right ear. The coughing got worse before it got better, and it only got better because Spencer had jumped out of bed, run into the kitchen in just his briefs, and grabbed a glass of water for you to try and force down your throat. 

“Alright. We’re going to the doctors.” 

A moan of protest left your lips and as you moved to lay back down in the warmth of your own bed, where you could be unbothered by this random man who was insisting that you needed to get up, and go in public. 

“I know, I know baby.” He was now sitting on the edge of your side of the bed, and was running his thumb along your forehead. Your body involuntarily curled itself around his, and you sighed. 

“It’s like you hate me, and you want—”

A cough ripped through your sentence and your throat. 

If someone was walking by, they might have guessed that you were a chainsmoker of thirty years; a chimney of a woman. 

But, unfortunately, you had your guesses about where this mystery illness had come from. 

“Spence.” You managed to croak out. 

He hadn’t left your side, still rubbing his thumb across your head. “Yeah baby.” 

“I think that stupid twerp gave me his illness.” 

Spencer chuckled. “Who are you talking about?” 

“Remember…” You scooted impossibly closer to him, now able to rest your head on his thigh. “Remember that kid from the last case, the one who ended up having to go into the doctors because he was sick. I’d fucking…”

You paused, trying to catch your breath as you spoke. 

If you had to bet money, you’d place your entire net worth–plus your home and all your earthly possessions– that Spencer Reid was some sort of god from beyond comprehension since he was just sitting here, patiently waiting for you to finish your thought, even though it was taking you minutes to spit out one sentence. 

“He must’ve had some sort of stupid…stupid sickness. And I blame Hotch for making me be the one to sit with the kid.” 

Spencer hummed, a sign of support for your theory. 

“If that fucking kid gave me pneumonia or some shit—I’m gonna find him—”

“Alright there trigger happy.” He cut you off and kissed your head again. “I know it’s going to suck so much ass, but we need to go to urgent care because your cough and fever are really starting to worry me.”

“Who the hell even gets pneumonia in the summer anyways.” You grumbled to yourself, and you rolled onto your back, and slowly sat up; Spencer’s hand on your thigh the entire time. 

An anchor as your head sloshed around with illness. 

“I bet I look like a biblical depiction of famine.” 

That made Spencer crack a smile. 

“Glad you feel good enough to joke around about it.” 

“I actually feel like death. That kid’s made worms’ meat of me.” 

Spencer stood up, face filled with amusement. “Alright Shakespeare.”

You took his hand and slowly stood up. Eyes closed as the slight change in altitude made your eardrums pulse, and your head starts to spin. 

“Tomorrow you’ll find me a grave man.” You grumbled, leaning up against Spencer as the world decided to speed up its rotation by about a million. 

“I cannot believe you’re quoting Shakespeare at me while you can’t even stand up right now.” 

You cracked a smile, eyes still closed. “I’ve always liked Mercutio—a man making puns even as he’s dying—that’s my kinda guys.” 

After standing still, in silence, for the next two minutes, you were able to open your eyes and look over at Spencer. “I love you.” 

It was soft, but earnest. 

How lucky were you to have someone who just spent the past fifteen minutes patiently waiting by your side, to get you out of bed so he could take you to the doctors office because you weren’t feeling well. He could have just let you stew in bed, and take the day to be ill at your home. But instead, he sat with you, got you water when you almost died first thing in the morning, and now is your literal crutch as you move to the bathroom, so you could at least brush your teeth. 

You’ll be damned if you don’t at least brush your teeth before going out in public. 

The thought of it almost made you feel worse than what you were feeling now. 

You were awake enough that your body was starting to fight the illness in real time, meaning Spencer had left your side to quickly get dressed. 

He was back by your side a few minutes later, letting you take your time in the bathroom with your morning routine. In his hands was one of your favorite crewnecks to lounge around the house in, and the matching sweatpants. Snoopy around the ankle, and Snoopy and Woodstock across your chest. Something about the Peanuts characters being there made them a little bit comfier. 

“You’re going to deck me out in Snoopy to go to Urgent Care?” 

Spencer nodded and placed them on the counter. “If we end up being there for a while, you’d die in a pair of jeans. Don’t even try to pretend like you were going to put a bra on either” 

“How did a girl get so lucky?” You hummed, and leaned against him again. His arms wrapping around you as your body relaxed every so slightly.

“I have several degrees, including three Phds. That makes me a doctor, and as such, I’m educated well enough to know the perfect woman when I see her. Anyone who doesn’t agree with me, clearly doesn’t have the degree to back up their points.” 

You squeezed him briefly, before pulling away slightly, still encircled in his arms. “We;; Doctor Reid, I can’t argue with a professional. But I must say, your professional opinion is skewed.” 

Spencer kissed your head and shrugged. He went to say some sort of snarky rebuttal, but you interrupted him with yet another coughing fit. 

You had never been to the Sahara desert before, but you could assume this is what it felt like if you were in the middle of it and had accidentally swallowed gallons of sand while the driest wind passed through you. 

Spence just rubbed his hand along your back, waiting for the fit to end. 

Once it had, your body had started to lose some of the initial fervor you had managed to gain from waking up. “Spence, I think I need to just lay down for a while…”

“No.” He shook his head. “You have to put those clothes on and then we’re going to the doctor. I know you want to lay down babygirl, but the sooner we get you medicated, the better.” 

Then he started to talk about breakfast, and your stomach lurched. “The thought of food makes me want to die. It’s not happening right now.” 

Spencer went to speak but you cut him off. “Babe. I will get dressed, and we can go to the hospital, but I’m not hungry. I’m not going to eat, and you’re not going to force me because the thought makes me feel even worse. Deal?” 

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. 

“Deal Spence?” 

Spencer just looked at you, and his resolve crumbled a bit. This was your best effort as a compromise. Every single atom you were comprised of made you want to collapse to the ground and enjoy the feeling of no longer being upright. But you were trying for him. He just had to compromise. 

“Deal.” He sighed. “We’re leaving in five okay?” 

“Aye Aye captain.” You placed a kiss on his cheek, not wanting to spread whatever you had to his lungs, and grabbed your clothes. 

Eventually, when you later found out that the kid witness from the previous case had given you viral pneumonia, your resentment for the little twerp grew even more, even resulting in a statement that you were 

“Never going to fucking have kids ever.” 

The statement made Spencer laugh as the two of you drove back home, meds in hand, and fresh hatred of ‘snot nosed children’ in the air. 

[infinitelytheheartexpands]

alright antony and cleopatra let’s get it

part ONE! (which is just until wherever the intermission break is)

-choreographed prologue??? 👀

-TECHNO PROLOGUE!!! low key this is such a vibe

-“my boss is a manwhore”

-just let them have bed wrestling fights!

-ANTONY BYRNE??? DUKE VINCENTIO ANTONY BYRNE??? yaaaaaaaaaay

-i love them both already

-seriously they are such an amazing vibe

-the way he covers his face with a pillow when she teases him for blushing omg

-they are just so utterly besotted and it’s making me so happy

-ooh boy we have another soothsayer

-this has the same energy as the carmen card trio

-wait i feel like this actor playing one of the ladies in waiting was in troilus and cressida (edit: yes! it’s amber james! aka cressida and now charmian!)

-cleopatra fully just said “i’m out i’m not talking to him right now” lol

-well that just happened (fulvia is dead!)

-somebody give antony a hug pls

-enobarbus what are you doing

-“I CAN’T DO THE HONEYMOON PHASE ANYMORE”

-she is just so. utterly. brilliant. and. so. MUCH. and i love it

-“eternity was in our lips and eyes”

-oh wait this is the scene from this play they did at [area shakespeare company’s] founder’s retirement party

-their energy is so much and i love it

-“Sir, you and I must part, but that’s not it/Sir, you and I have loved, but there’s not it…”

-soundtrack continues to pop off

-octavius: insecure about masculinity

-octavius wants to cancel antony and lepidus isn’t so sure

-YAAAAAAAY PIRATES OF PLOT CONVENIENCE! (okay maybe just plot spice but whatever)

-okay we fully just skipped a scene i guess (from the few lines i skimmed it looks like “cleopatra and her girls do edibles”)

-okay so pompey is collaborating with Pirates Of Plot Spice TM?

-“okay so how do we get the boys to start fightingggggg”

-okay we’re jumping back to cleopatra and her girls doing edibles

-love the music and love the mardian dude

-“where’s my serpent of old Nile?…now i feed myself with most delicious poison” so uh. about that.

-‘you’re not mark antony’ lolol

-not sad or merry but a secret third thing

-‘charmian that was LAST play’

-the boys are fightingggggggg

-‘i didn’t say i wouldn’t, i just didn’t do it’ mood

-“That truth should be silent I had almost forgot.” OOOOOOOOH

-oh this is definitely a great idea /s

-oh hey it’s the barge speech!

-he’s just a boy who cain’t say no!

-“Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale/Her infinite variety.”

-sleepover at agrippa’s!

-LUCY PHELPS OCTAVIA??? (so the duke and isabella did get married in an alternate universe then)

-“i will definitely, 100%, not cheat on you” yeah it’s act two i’m not putting it past you

-no one ever listens to the soothsayer

-FUCKIN CALLED IT

-“Give me some music—music, moody food/Of us that trade in love.” 🤝 “if music be the food of love, play on”

-y’know, iras is so Not Even In This Play

-she is a QUEEN

-“But sirrah, mark, we use/To say the dead are well.” ross over in scotland, about to tell macduff his family is dead: *shuffles uncomfortably*

-i love their banter

-“you did NOT just say octavia was better at banging than me”

-oh she’s straight up beating him up

-“PLEASE DON’T SHOOT THE MESSENGER”

-she is Going Through It

-pompey: *gives very emotional speech*

octavius: …take your time

lmao

-BOAT PARTY

-so enobarbus and menas are besties anyway? i thought they were on opposite sides (which obvs does not prevent bestie relationships but yeah)

-enobarbus knows what’s up

-BOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAT PAAAAAAAARTY

-yeah lepidus words are hard

-menas has a Plan

-octavius: buddy i am Not Getting Drunk Tonight

-PLAY THIS IN THE CLUB

-Many Complicated Emotions Between These Two,

-antony, fully intending to ditch octavia at first opportunity: well this is awkward

-messenger: i can’t fucking believe i still have to work this customer service job even after getting beat up

-scoping out the competition

-uh oh. there are Political Problems

-GO OFF OCTAVIA (also this is just like blanche in king john)

-“The Jove of power make me, most weak, most weak, your reconciler. Wars ’twixt you twain would be As if the world should cleave, and that slain men should solder up the rift.”

-oh octavius is Big Mad

-“YOUR HUSBAND IS CHEATING ON YOU OCTAVIA” “NO I JUST WANT YOU GUYS TO STOP FUCKING FIGHTING”

-ooh did octavia just take her ring off 👀

and that’s intermission! this is GREAT and i would continue watching but it is also late and i am tired so…rest tomorrow!

[therealpontius]

Lay all your love on me

Dico x reader (fluff)

Plot: dico notices that your boyfriend is being shitty so decides to treat you like you should be…

Warnings: drug misuse/ abusive relationship (?)/ cheating

The bar slowly got busier as you waited for your boyfriend cody to show up, you had been together for two years on that very day. Minutes later he walked in still in his work gear. "Baby!" He smiled, sitting down "hey... were u smoking weed?" You asked as he plopped down on the seat opposite from you. He had a small problem with weed, he couldnt keep his eyes off it and spent alot of your own money on it but you never showed your annoyance, you would only be made the bad one for being annoyed at an addict.he never tried to hide it, he was only happy when he had a joint hanging out his mouth or the aftermath in his lungs and going for his already mushed up brain.

"What do you take me for" he spat with a harsh look, soon his five minutes of happiness retuned "nothing, sorry" 30 minutes of drinking and laughing passed and he was becoming inpatient, he wasnt able to sneak out to smoke weed thinking you thought he was entirely sober. You knew different.

"Cmon babe lets go do karaoke" you felt bold, brave "no, im alright" "cmon!" You laughed grabbing his hand "no! Do it yourself" your confidence had gone by now but you were determined to prove him wrong "yeah whatever" you strolled to the karaoke machine. 'lay all your love on me - ABBA' flashed on the screen, a few who were out for their hen party cheering drunkly.

"I wasnt jealous before we met... now every woman that i see is a potential threat" cody looked at you from across the bar, face straight and unimpressed. "And im possessive it isnt nice..." you saw your boyfriend pick up his phone to his ear and walk out the bar in a rush. "You've heard me saying that smoking was my only vice.." your voice got much smaller making a good few drinkers turn to you to witness your embarrassment.

"But now it isn't true... Now everything is new" you noticed an odd looking man starting to walk over to you, you ignored it just assuming he was walking this direction. "And all I've learned has overturned... I beg of you" while you were hitting the long note he jumped up on stage with you, grabbing the microphone that sat in its holder.

"DONT GO WASHING YOUR EMOTIONS" he sang or shouted rather down the mic, making you jump alittle "lay all your love on me" you joined in, earning a smile from him "DONT GO SHARING YOUR EMOTIONS" "lay all your love on me"

During the small intermission he told you he would sing the next verse.

"It was like shooting a little child" he sang, a few gasping "a little small talk, a smile and baby i was erect" you couldnt help but laugh along,  clutching your chest "i still dont know what youve done with me. A grown up man should never fall this easily.."

"I feel a kind of fear, when im not fucking your ass" some of the older audience were gasping even louder and crossing their arms but you noticed a group of men around your age filming the whole thing with tears streaming out their eyes. "Unsatisfied, i skipped my pride I BEG YOU DEEEAERRRR" he screamed down the mic causing feed back.

"DONT GO ANALING WITH OTHER MEEEN" "GO FAST WHILE FUCKING ME" you joined in his joke making the men who filmed almost scream in laughter "DONT GO SHARING OUT YOUR PUSSY" "GO FAST WHILE FUCKING ME"

You both were on the verge of tears with laugh and thats when you noticed cody standing at the entrance looking at you with horror. One of the workers swiftly made his way to the karaoke machine "FUCK CMON" the odd man shouted,  grabbing your hand and running into the croud of people to were his friends sat.

"Dude that was fucking amazing!" A lanky junkie looking man laughed "did you just steal her from her man?!" The man with the camera pointed at your face exclaimed. You felt a stong hand grabbing your shoulder "y/n! What the fuck was that!" It was cody... all the men turned to face him, angry looks on their faces "just having some fun..." "well! Your supposed to have fun with me!" "Cody you left! Probably outside smoking a joint AGAIN" he went silent giving away that he had been.

"See? I cant even leave you for a minute alone" he scoffed and grabbed your wrist "stop being a show off, we are going home" cody growled "no your fucking not" one of the mans friends joined in, smacking your boyfriends hand away. He was tall and scruffy looking. "You can go home, shes staying here." "Are you really going to stay out with some strangers?" Cody asks you, the man next to you turning round awaiting your answer "yeah i a-" "then your a bigger slut than i thought" he stormed off leaving you frustrated.

"Ill go get drinks" the man who stood up for you said, sensing you needed something to chill out "sorry for that guys" you apologised "it was gold.." the guy behind the camera said, he put the camera away from his face and shook your hand "my names bam margera, the homless looking guy over their is novak, thats rabb, thats rake, the guy off to get your drinks is ryan and your little lovers dico." They all waved at the mention of their names "you sit next to me" dico invited you, scootching closer to rabb who sat next to him on one side of the booth.

"Your a great singer by the way" dico complimented you silently so none of his friends who were laughing looking back at the video could hear. "Was just joking around... you are the next mariah carey by the way" jokingly he put his hand on his heart and done a goofy smile "aw stop im blushing". "Stop flirting with her bran. Heres your drinks sweetheart" ryan says, putting a tray of shots down on the table "i cant drink these all!" You laugh, looking over to dico "why not?" "Well... i guess i could" the boys who had caught on to what happened started cheering. Ten straight vodka shots sat infront of you.

You wanted to do them but at the same time... a group of seven men have just witnessed your possible break up and handed you ten strong shots... a wee bit fishy.

"Sure!" You tried to ignore the burning feeling as you threw the harsh liquid down your throat but stopped at five "fuck sake!" You exclaimed, the group laughing with you. Quickly you continued and threw your hands in the air in victory after downing them all. "Wiked!"novak praised while the group cheered.

The boys got along with you great while all going into small conversations "are you and cody gunna be okay?" Dico asked "nah.. he was getting old boring anyways" "he sounds like a bore-"

"dico whats going on your acting normal" bam butted in "i dont always need to act like a funny prick bam" "maybe you just fancy her" ryan, who was sitting on the booths divider next to you, added. You werent sure how you felt about him and you were in a two year relationship. His face went bright red and he scoffed as if he was going to say 'stop with this tomfoolery' "who invited the tomatoe?" Rake laughed, pointing out his red face to everyone "shut the fuck up rake, i swear to god i will squirt mustard in your mouth while your sleeping" rake slammed his hands on the table making the drinks shake alittle "you fucking dare, i will kill you" you werent sure if you were to laugh or stay quite but you let out a little giggle at how stupid he was being "fellas calms down, calmmmm down" novak said in his best zen voice. "Novak your doing nothing for this situation" rabb admitted, rake and dico remained looking at eachother waiting for the other to make a move "hey dico how bout we go get some more drinks?" You offer, trying to defuse the situation. He turned to you and let a small smile play on his face "yeah cmon lets go"

When you reached the bar you left out a puff of air "jeez the tention there was THICK" "yeah he realy hates mustard" you laughed abit but he didnt laugh "wait like really bad?" "REALLY bad. He bet up one of the boys once because they snuck it in his food. I made a song about his hate for mustard once" "yeah? Sing me a bit" "okay let me remember..." when you waited for him to remember you ordered two beers for him and two ciders for you "oh yeah right... are you ready for the great GNARKILL" you laughed in shock, alittle scared "yeah?" He takes a deep breath "I'm bathing and I'm running in my sleep, From mustard Man.... He chases me into the last sunrise, And fucks me in his Mom's minivan." You hold your hand over your mouth and let out a loud laugh drawing a few heads over "Mustard man Woo Woo, bow down. I must serve you, I am on the ground. Bowing to your mustard shit. Lick your arse at the end of it-" you wave your hands infront of his face "OKAY STOP STOP" he picked up one of the beers that he had been given and took a big gulp "youve never heard of gnarkill?" "Dico i cant even tell if your speaking english"

Drink after drink after drink after drink went by and the bar was basically empty. Dicos group who were more drunk than tgan whrn you last saw them came up to say bye "bye bye you two, no penis stuff okay?" Novak slurred while being dragged away by ryan. "Should we? *hiccup* go home?" You asked "yeah cmon babe *hiccup* lets go" you both stumbled from the chairs, the alcohol hitting your heads from sitting down for too long.

You walked down the cold streets of westchester, staggering around. "Are you cold?" He asked looking back at you "i dont know" you laughed "that just stupid.. y/n?" "Yeah dico? *hiccup*" he stopped his falling around to let you catch up "ive had alot of fun with you tonight, and i *hiccup* think that the way you get treated by cody is disgraceful. Your so *hiccup* perfect that i feel like your a goddess" you listened to his words as you made your way to him, stopping when you were both facing eachother. Softly you planted a kiss to his cheek "your so cute dico, thanks for joining me singing earlier. Cody turned me down, hes such a boring git" "soo? Break it off with him" you went silent and thought "its been two years with him i dont know how to *hiccup*" his face dropped and he looked saddened.

"Ill treat you how you should be tonight, tommorow you can go back to him and *hiccup* we can pretend this never happened." He linked his arm with yours and continued walking. You heart shattered, youve never had so much chemistry with someone and you wont even know him by tommorow. "Lets go back to bams castle, he told me he was staying at ryans tonight" you laughed "castle? What a tiny apartment?" "No like a genuine castle" "yeah right" you looked up at the stars as you headed to a more remote side of town, heading towards a bunch of trees. "*hiccup* you arent going to murder me right?" "Darling if i was going to kill you i wouldve done it ages ago"

Your legs started to get sore as you headed down a road that had no cars racing down on. "Thats his skate park we are really close" dico pointed out a huge wooden skatepark that looked more like a roller coaster "what the fuck..." "there it is!" He exclaimed, picking up his pace to get there quicker. You were in utter shock, it was so gorgeous like nothing you had ever seen before. Dico pulled out his keys and unlocked the front door that had unicorns painted on it. When the door unlocked he held your hand and brought you into the castle and right enough it was bams. His name was painted on most of the walls with pictures of all the men who you had saw recently allover the walls "cmon my rooms just up here"

You walk into his poorly decorated room, old woman type bedsheets and the blinds were slanted. “Its not much but…” he trailed off. A bundle of odd hats lay around the floor catching your attention “what are these?” You ask, getting down on your knees to put on the dramatic pirate hat “my props,its what makes me funny” he giggles, picking up a war helmet then helping you to your feet. “What do you even do?” “Its like a reality show bam has, im like his funny sidekick i guess” you sensed some sadness in his tone “is that a bad thing?” “What? No of course not… i just wish that sometimes i could have a normal life” he fell back onto the spongey bed behind him, you crawling to lie down next to him. Both your legs dangling off the side.

“But i guess if you had a normal life you would probably want it all back right?” You state, he turned to face you like you had said the smartest thing he had ever heard. “Yeah! You get it” his hand wriggled into yours, thumb making small circles around your soft skin. “Want a chocolate?” Dico asked, pulling a single hershey kiss out his jean pocket “yeah why not” you smile, laughing at the randomness. “Open wide-“ “wait no let me unwrap, thats my favourite part, then you can feed me it” “yes your majesty” he handed you the small hershey and you slowly unwrapped it, handing it back to him. “Ready?” “Yeah cmon!” You both laughed “right open wide then” you opened your mouth and he softly plopped the small chocolate on your tongue, laughing his head off. “Bon appetite”

As you softly let the small chocolate melt on your tongue you thought of this night, how much fun youve had on your anniversary but you werent even with your two year long boyfriend. “Dico?” “Yeah?” “Am i allowed to kiss you?” “What? Yeah of course-“ you cut him off with a deep and passionate kiss, a kiss like you were married and were in the happiest relationship that the world has ever seen. Soon you broke it, knowing if you went any further you wouldnt be able to live with yourself.

“You wanna go to sleep?” He offered, running his finger over your eyebags “i just dont want this night to end” “neither…” you both wordlessly got under the blanket and dico pulled you onto his chest, humming under his breath, running his fingers through your hair. “I just really dont wanna sleep” you repeated, eyes shutting slowly. “Shhh its okay, its okay”…

“Ugghhh” you groaned, holding your head as if to take away the pain. You gripped onto codys shoulder, stuffing your face into his neck “morning” he replied, yawning. His voice was croaky giving away that he was drunk too “morning b-*GASP* OH FUCK” you both jumped “dont do that you scared the shit out of me!” He laughed closing his eyes to stop the pain from the light. God he looked so good, hair scruffy and eyes squinted, you jumped up and scattered around looking for your phone “wait.. y/n” he spoke, trying to stop you from leaving. You found your phone and checked it frantically.

‘No missed calls…

No missed messages…’

“Y/n please wait” dico asked again but you couldnt bare being in the room with him any longer, he was everything you needed and more but it wasnt that simple.

You grabbed your phone and headed out the door, passing multiple people on the way. “Y/n!” You heard dico shout as you ran out the door…

@ckygetsjobs (i believe i promised you a dico fic while back 😭)

[vinbee631]

10 - Intermission: How Would You Like a Friendly Competition? (Let’s Take On the Song) 

Prodigal Sons and Daughters Alike

“Remus!” The art student in question jumped out of his skin as his twin burst into his room one afternoon. “Jesus, who died?! Or, is it good news? I can tell from just- screaming.”

(The school van in question later in the fic, they're good for wheelchair transport, but riding in the ones they convert to hold 14 students for field trips is my personal hell)

Chapter title from Me Against the Music - LP Version by Madonna and Britney Spears, the better version to me :) Also, cw, they do play laser tag, so like- gun violence? But for high schoolers? Nobody gets hurt but it's a pretty in depth description if that bothers you

“Remus!” The art student in question jumped out of his skin as his twin burst into his room one afternoon. “Jesus, who died?! Or, is it good news? I can tell from just- screaming.”

“Quit teasing, this is important!” Roman declared, hopping on Remus’ bed and crossing his legs.

“Sure, just make yourself comfortable, I guess,” he joked, “but go on. What is it that you’re dragging me into this time?” 

“You say as if you don’t regularly drag me into shit all the time. You dragged me into this school,” he pointed out helpfully.

“Alright, I get it, just cut to the chase! I’m invested now,” Remus urged with a smile.

“Okay, okay! Soo, I found another poster, and it’s even better than the hike one! There are these, like, mini field trips they’re gonna start doing tomorrow, and they go to all kinds of cool places! I was gonna invite the others, too, but I wanted to bring it up to you first!” 

“Uh, yeah sure!” Remus agreed instantly with a smile that didn’t quite reach is eyes. “We inviting Virgil, too?” 

Roman started, starting at his brother as he processed the statement. Something was… off about him. And he could tell exactly what, and who, it was related to.

“You know what? No, we’re not doing this. The others can go as a group of three, or four if they wanna open that can of worms, but this is gonna be a sibling day. You’re so- keyed up over this Virgil situation, and I am not going to watch as you wear yourself to the ground! We’re taking a break, and we’re doing it twin style!”

“And you’ve just… decided this for me? Bet, I guess, where are we going?” Remus chuckled, though Roman was relieved to see some of the tension leak out of his shoulders and frown lines.

And then, he grinned brightly, tugging his flustered twin out the door. “Well, we gotta sign up first! That’s what I was trying to tell you! There are a couple of different places, and initially, I was gonna get everyone’s opinions but starting with you, but now we can just decide together, c’mon!” 

Remus hopped along behind him, haphazardly tugging on his shoes and slamming the door shut behind him. “Jeez, okay, okay! I’m coming, slow down!”

Roman laughed, racing down the hall with his brother in tow. They skidded to a stop in the lobby, where a small group of freshmen they didn’t know were gathered around a clipboard. 

“So, there are different clipboards for different grade levels, so we might have to wait a bit, but…” Roman paused, craning his neck to read the announcement, “We can choose from a trip to a little shopping center in Gainesville… an- I think that says laser tag? And a ‘nature hike’ at the one nature center that we drove past on the way here. But, I mean, we kinda already did that.” 

Remus perked up. “I dunno about you, but if we don’t do the laser tag, I might lose it,” he decided. Roman quickly nodded in agreement and they rushed to fill out the paperwork they needed. 

“At least we don’t have to convince Mom and Pops this time,” Roman huffed, making his brother laugh. 

“Exactly! All we have to worry about is having fun! Oh, and me kicking your ass at laser tag.”

Roman huffed. “Says you! I believe it will be me doing the ass-kicking here!” 

The whole walk back to their dorms, the boys bickered halfheartedly about supposed asses being kicked, but Roman wasn’t all too worried about that anyway, when his brother was smiling bigger than he’d seen in days.

…

Remus was happy he loved his classes so much, otherwise the waiting for them to be over would have been torturous. 

The field trips here didn’t work the same way as in other schools. The laser tag trip wouldn’t get them out of class. Instead, it gave them something to do in the afternoon.

It didn’t make waiting for it particularly easy, but Remus did appreciate that he didn’t have to miss out on the best class schedule he ever had to hang out with his brother. 

That was, arguably, the best part, having some (somewhat) private time to bond with his brother. Roman was the reason he’d been brave enough to come to this crazy place, anyway, and they’d barely had time to hang out alone since they got there!

And then, of course, the whole Virgil thing had been happening, so Remus had been a bit too distracted to think about quality time with Roman. 

Now, there was nothing stopping him from that time! He wiggled excitedly at the thought as the bell rang for the end of his last class. 

He met up with Roman less than a minute after the bell at the front of the school. There were a few other kids coming, but Remus didn’t recognize any of them and Roman was too excited about brother bonding time to worry about any of them. 

The twins easily recognized the school van they were giong to be taking on this trip, considering it was shockingly similar to public school vans. It briefly made Remus wonder where you could even buy one of these things, not that he wanted one. They were the kind of ugly only a school transporation vehicle could be.

He hadn’t noticed, but while he was lost in thought, they had started moving, and Roman had started talking. He tried to zone back into the conversation, but being zoned out in the first place tended to open up his mind to wandering- very far away… and now he was thinking about Virgil.

It probably wasn’t fair to be upset with him, and Remus wasn’t really. He was simply… frustrated about the hoops he had to jump through to talk to him. Virgil was excruciatingly closed off, and if only Remus knew why. That would certainly help him figure out a better way to ease him into communicating. 

But that was also kind of exhausting, and he had plenty of other things he should be putting that energy into instead. It was totally worth it to put energy into caring about his friends! But when that energy wasn’t being reciprocated, it was going to get to a point where this wasn’t a healthy exhange.

Remus really didn’t want to give up on him, but it was starting to look like he might have to eventually. 

He zoned back in to see Roman leaned very into his personal space, making eye contact to try and break him out of his brain. His twin smiled when Remus met that gaze. 

“So, you’ve obviously still got something on your mind,” Roman stated, leaning back to sit next to him once more, “and you’re gonna talk about it. Right now, preferably.”

“I… yeah. I’m still stuck on the Virgil thing, I guess. Like… I’m not upset about it, but I… I’m just confused. Being shy is one thing, and not liking me as a person is another, but we’ve barely talked! And he wouldn’t even tell me he was uncomfortable until I’d already done something wrong! I just… really don’t get him, y’know? And I want to get him, in a healthy way, but I can’t!” 

Roman frowned, shifting a bit closer to him. “Well, it might not be a bad time to talk to Dr. Picani about it. You don’t even have to tell him it’s Virgil, but I mean, from what I’ve heard, he gives pretty good advice, maybe even better than mine!”

Remus didn’t fall for the bait of the tease, but he did smile a little. “I- yeah, maybe I will. It’s something to consider, at least. I just wish it was… easier. Being a teenager with emotional problems is hard enough, and when they involve another person, it’s just… ugh, anyway, thanks, Ro. I’ll think about it.” 

“Anytime, Re. And yeah, I get it. Just… don’t wear yourself out worrying about someone else, and honestly? I think it’s gonna work out, anyway.” Roman smiled at his brother as they got comfortable for the rest of the ride home. Maybe he couldn’t help his brother fix all his problems, but he could certainly be there for him everytime. 

And then, their fond moment was swiftly interrupted by their excitement of reaching their destination. 

The boys practically dragged each other out of the back of the van abomanation, only stopping to pay attention to when they had to leave and where they were supposed to meet their chaperone at the end of the day.

And then, they, along with the rest of the group of course, were off. 

They were allowed to play five rounds if they wanted, and they could take breaks in between for snacks, or to check out some of the games nearby as the laser tag place doubled as an arcade.

The twins weren’t really focused on those parts at the moment. They were focused on the fastest way possible to decimate each other in a little friendly competition.

It took a minute to get suited up, and to request being on different teams, and then they had to wait for a full room of other players, which took another five minutes. Then, finally, they were released into the dim space, obstacles speckled with glow-in-the-dark paint flecks and tainted with a distinctly ‘arcade-y smell.

The countdown ended, and they were off.

Remus glanced at the infrared camera in his corner, watching another person on his go sprinting past. No sign of Roman yet, so he turned past one of the odd foam towers and turned to the edge of the space, trying to map out the area in his head.

Roman had started in the opposite corner. If he was strategizing like he normally did, he was most likely searching for other people that were easier to snipe than his brother, to get himself on the leaderboard before finding his actual target. 

He broke out of his momentary brainstorm to jump past another opposing team member, zapping the back of their vest in the process.

One point, Remus. 

A glance up at the scoreboard confirmed he needed to be faster than that, though. He zipped past someone crawling on the floor, jumping over them and scoring another point along the way.

There was a set of kids standing back to back. Remus used two hits in the same spot where their vests touched. 

He was up to four points, Roman was only at three.

Where was he?

Remus turned, flattening himself against a wall and listening to the room. He’d almost done a full lap already, and no Roman? Almost like, his twin was circling at the same time-

*ZAP*

“Oh, you motherfucker!” Remus laughed, squinting at the bright red light pulsing from beneath him on his vest. He had been followed the whole time! 

He shot out in the dark when the red pulsing finally faded, managing to hit someone running past a gap in two obstacles, but not Roman. 

Sensing his twin had made himself scarce for the time being, he took another lap, darting around, and accidentally running into a wall to avoid running into a stranger.

Roman had six points, and so did he.

They were halfway through the round already, only five minutes left to get his brother back. He just needed to find him first.

It was risky, but he took a chance with one of the raised platforms, climbing up and laying on his stomach at first. He took a breath, then jumped up to see who he could find Two…four… five people, he ducked back down. No Roman, but at least he hadn’t been hit.

He jumped down and took another, much more cautious lap.

And there it was, a glint of white in the corner of his eye. He feigned the other direction, and when Roman’s vest popped out, he turned around and shot him right in the chest.

…Yeah, if this wasn’t laser tag, that would have been kind of grim.

He shot away from the pusling red with a gleeful laugh, despite the attention it was probably going to attract. He was one point ahead, but he was tied with his brother in spirit.

Three minutes left.

They ended up circling each other, lasers ringing out and point totals ticking up as the time ticked down. With thirty seconds left, Remus was a point ahead. But that wasn’t enough.

Roman was on his tail, he could feel his eyes. He crouched low to the floor and listened. 

Dumb idea.

Being crouched slowed down his escape, and when his brother pounced, turning a corner and firing his laser, Remus’ only option was to flatten to the ground and try to roll away.

His vest turned red as he lay prone, and the lights turned on

“ROUND OVER. CONGRATULATIONS, TEAM RED.”

Remus groaned, keeping his face pressed to the floor to avoid Roman’s gaze. His twin laughed, offering a hand to help him stand.

“I almost found you, and we tied, anyway!” He complained, jumping up and walking in step with his giggling brother. “Yeah, but ya didn’t, and my team won! Close though, wanna go again?”

“Uh, of course, I wanna go again, I have to win back my honor!”

Roman laughed again, and Remus found that, despite the little disappointment he had and how he was slightly out of breath from running around, he was still able to laugh along.

[ccrissproductions]

We Are Our Own Muse: Prologue

I realized I wrote a prologue to this and forgot all about it.

Furthermore, I was going to mash this up with some Kendrick Lamar shit buuuut that's way too much plot and how I was going about it would not have made sense.

Prologue

"Ayo!"

I walked out on stage as I yelled into the microphone in my hand. The boys just played half their set and were now on a brief intermission. There was usually banter between Pete and Patrick, before Patrick played piano solo. This time, they tried something different.

"How y'all feelin'?!"

I walked down the extended aisle of the stage as the audience shouted back at me.

"Y'all doin' alright?!"

The crowd responded loudly.

"Who wants to play a game?!"

I smiled back at the crowd as they cheered harder.

"This right here is my favorite game to play during my concerts!"

Screams of excitement burst through the audience. I guess those videos really did go viral.

"Oh, y'all know it?!"

They cheered in affirmation.

"Rule's simple: finish the lyrics and don't stop singing 'til I say so!

"If you mess up, you lose!

"I know y'all drunk, high, and other! But can y'all do that?!" 

Another large cheer of affirmation that earned them a wide grin from me. 

"Yeah?! Well let's get to it!

"We got three rounds! Who's first?!"

I stood on the edge of the stage, getting a closer look into the audience. Among the outstretched hands and hopeful faces, one guy caught my attention. 

Older guy, middle aged, balding, with glasses; to be honest, dude was built like a history teacher. 

"You?" I nodded my head and told the security guard right there to help him up on stage. 

"A'ight, my man, what's your name?" I stepped back, dude was tall. 

I pointed the mic at him.

"Wilburt."

I put my fist to my mouth and leaned over, trying and failing to hide my laughter from the audience. A smile grew on his face.

The audience laughed with me.

"I'm sorry-- I'm sorry, but, Wil-burt!"

He nodded and chuckled.

"Wilburt!" I shouted comically. 

More laughter from the crowd, Wilburt, and this time, the band in the back. 

"You ready to play--- Wilburt?!"

He nodded and said, "yeah!"

"Yea-- you sure?!

"You seem like you've been a fan for years so Imma go a little hard on you!"

"Let's go!" Wilburt was ready. I started to sing.

"We're going down, down in an earlier round--

"and sugar, we're going down swingin'"

I hold the mic to him to finish the chorus.

"--and ne-eh dee weeeh wid da bummen," He tried to hum the lyrics before throwing his hands in his face and laughing.

"Nope!" I laughed.

"Sorry Wilburt!"

The security guard helped him back off the stage.

"Who has it?!" I said, looking into the crowd. "I'll know if you look it up too!"

There were five girls in the front row waving at me. I pointed at every one of them until I got to the last person. 

"Nope, not you; not you; not you; YOU!"

A slender girl with shoulder-length, vibrant green hair and an eyebrow piercing.

"What's your name?"

I pointed the mic at her.

"Marley!"

"Okay, Marley, you got it!?"

"Yep!"

"Alright! Let's see!" 

I started singing, "We're going down, down in an earlier round--

"and sugar, we're going down swingin'"

I pointed the mic towards her so she could finish the lyric.

"I'll be your number one with the bullet! 

"A loaded God complex cock it and pull it!"

"YES!" I jumped, sometimes I let the excitement get to me.

The crowd cheered Marley on.

I pulled five hundred bucks out my pocket, gasps of awe made its way through the crowd. 

I looked at the audience. 

"What? You thought this game was prize-less?" I grinned.

"Round two! Who's next?!"

A cute Asian boy caught my attention, and I told security to get him on stage.

"What's your name?"

"Bobby!"

"Okay, Bobby, you ready?!"

"Yea!"

The crowd cheered for him, and I started singing.

"She says she's no good

"With words, but I'm worse

"Barely stuttered out a joke of a romantic

"Stuck to my tongue--"

I pointed the mic at him.

"Weighed down with words too

"Overdramatic

"Tonight, it's "it can't get much worse"

"Versus "No one should ever feel like...""

"Keep going," I told him, mic still pointed at him.

"I'm two quarters and a heart down

"And I don't want to forget how your voice sounds

"These words are all I have so I write them

"So you need them just to get by"

I harmonized the infamous guitar riff and pointed the mic into the crowd.

The audience did not fail.

"Dance, dance, we're falling apart to half-time!

"Dance, dance, and these are the lives you love to lead!

"Dance, this is the way they'd love!

"If they knew how misery loved me!!"

The crowd finished. 

I cracked a wide smile and handed him his prize. 

As security helped Bobby down, I shouted to the crowd:

"A'ight! Last round, who wanna give it a shot?!"

I looked into the audience and there was a young girl with a group of other girls pointing at her.

"Her! Her! Her!"

"She's their biggest fan!!"

"She knows all their songs!!!"

They all shouted, as said girl hid her face in her hands. 

I signaled her to the security guard. 

Once on stage, she stood with one hand covering her face. 

Aww, she's a shy one.

"What's your name?" I asked, a bit more calmly with a soft smile.

"Lydia," she replied quietly in the mic. 

"You ready, Lydia?"

She whined, but nodded, nonetheless. 

"This is an easy one: 

"I'm in a winter mood, dreamin' of spring now

"Burnin' myself down, burnin' myself down, burnin'

"I feel like something that's been stretched out over and over again

"Until I'm creased, and I'm about to break down the middle

"Split me right down the middle, right, right down the middle 

"Yeah."

I gave her the mic. She started to sing, and I was shocked with what I heard.

"The stars are the same as ever, but I don't have the guts to keep it together

"Stuck in the permafrost, stuck in the permafrost

"Life is just a game, maybe

"I'm stuck in a lonely loop, my baby

Her voice was gold. It's always the quiet ones with the biggest voices. I signaled to the guys to start playing and they did not disappoint.

"So much for stardust

"We thought we had it all, thought we had it all

"Thought wе had it all, thought we had it all, thought we had it ah - all

"So much for stardust

"We thought wе had it all, thought we had it all

"Thought we had it all, thought we had it all, thought we had it ah- ah -- all"

Lydia stopped singing and the band stopped playing. She gave me back the microphone and hid her face behind her hand again. 

I stood there in shock. "Damn."

She giggled. 

"Y'know what? Fuck five hundred, you get six--- caused that was amazing!"

I counted out six hundred dollar bills and handed them to her.

"Wasn't that amazing?" I asked, looking back at the band.

"That was fucking fantastic," Pete spoke up into his mic. 

"Let's give it up for Lydia!" 

The crowd cheered for the young girl as she made her way back to her friends.

"That was fucking phenomenal, man," I said to the audience.

"Well!" I shouted.

"Y'all ready for more Fall Out Boy!?"

The crowd cheered and yelled back at me.

I strutted back to Patrick and whispered in his ear, "and you were worried about fans?"

He chuckled and I walked away backstage and handed the microphone to a stagehand.

"Hey guys."

[steele-soulmate]

Tattooed Wings, CHAPTER 486, Peter Steele & OFC, Soulmate AU

SUMMARY: Mary Claire Bradley meets her soulmate- literally- the famous Peter Steele of metal group Type O Negative. But will obstacles including trauma, stalkers, and toxic family members get in the way of their life?

WARNING: mentions of child rape (nothing graphic) PTSD, milk kink, soft smut, grinding, assault, fingering, hand jobs, blow jobs, 69, P in V sex, blood, noncon rape, violence, death, vandalism, graffiti, attempted kidnapping, break-ins, wild animal attacks, terrorist attack (sabotage) consensual impregnation, bareback, impregnation kink, creampies, terrorist attacks (shootings) neonatal death

WORDS: 1178

“Break a leg out there, my love,” I told Peter mere moments before he went onstage. “But don’t really break your leg!”

“Will do, my woman.” Deep crinkles formed at the corners of his eyes, indicating that he was smiling down at me. He then turned and stepped out onto the stage, raising a hand to the screaming crowd as he donned his bass and stepped up to the front of the stage.

He ripped into Wolf Moon, and then These Three Wishes, and then Cinnamon Girl, and then September Sun…

“Mommy?” Elizabeth yelled over the ear pounding loud music, turning to look up at me. “Why does daddy scream my name during this song?”

“He once had an girlfriend, now ex, named Elizabeth,” I told her, letting out a wince at the sudden twinge of sharp discomfort that raced through my veins. “And no, you weren’t named after her, if that is what you’re thinking.”

“Why isn’t daddy with her?” she asked me as Katie rocked out to the music with a happy smile on her face, waving her one hand in the air while holding onto Jing with her other arm. “Not that I’m complaining about you, mommy- you’re the bestest mommy in the whole wide world!”

“Your father and Elizabeth weren’t a compatible match,” I answered diplomatically. “I never knew her, only what your father told me.”

“Oh.” She looked away with a pensive look of her pretty face before returning her attention back to the concert, where Peter was wailing into the microphone and the babies were babbling around him while keeping his hair out of his face. The crowd was rocking out and there was even someone crowd surfing.

Peter finished the song, checking in with the crowd surfer and making sure that they were safe and well before announcing a fifteen minute long  intermission. He swung off his bass, being certain not to catch the babies before exiting the stage, a hand out to the crowd as he picked me up and whisked his girls off to the band’s assigned dressing room.

“Sweetheart, are you alright?” he asked me as yet another wince crossed over my face.

“I think I’m starting to have contractions,” I confessed. “They’re about forty minutes apart. When they get to be ten minutes apart, you can take me to the hospital then, alright?”

“Alright,” he smiled at me, poking his head out the door and bellowing, “SLITZY!”

The slightly portly man appeared almost at once, his cell phone in hand and clearly doing a live record.

“Slitzy, keep an eye on Mary Claire for me, won’t you?” he ordered him. “Baby Violet Marie is coming.”

“Oh sweet fuck!” Slitzy jumped up with a frantic look on his face as I paced from one foot to the other, grunting in discomfort.

“Slitzy.” Peter’s voice was worn and irritated. “Sit down and shut up.”

“You’re giving me horrible second handed anxiety,” I piped in. “Now, I’ve given birth two times before. I don’t need to go to the hospital until my contractions are about two minutes apart and I’m starting to dilatate.”

“What can I do?” Slitzy looked less concerned and more worried.

“I just really need to walk around some, that’ll help a heaps ton,” I grumbled, waddling from one side of the room to the other, breathing heavily as I did so.

In, two, three, four…

Hold, two, three, four…

Out, two, three, four…

“Baby Violet Marie is coming,” I muttered, leaning into my husband as he joined me.

“Baby Violet Marie is coming,” he whispered, joy dancing in his eyes.

“Baby Violet Marie is coming,” Elizabeth giggled, coming up next to me and offering me more support.

“Baby Violet Marie is coming!” Katie cheered, stepping in next to Elizabeth.

“Baa bee Vi wet Mawie coming!” giggled little girl as she koalaed herself to her godfather’s leg. Baby Tommy followed in his older sister’s footsteps and attached himself to his father’s other leg with a sleepy yawn.

“Night night,” he babbled, shutting his eyes and drifting off to sleep almost at once.

“Mommy, daddy-” Elizabeth suddenly broke free of the family huddle and went over to her backpack, where she took out a little blue dress. “I made this for Baby Violet Marie! So that she can match her siblings!”

A smile stretched across my face at the little Madeline dress and matching yellow baby bonnet, both clearly crafted with an adoring love in between every other stitch.

“It’s so beautiful, thank you, Elizabeth!” I smiled at my daughter as another contraction hit me.

“Sweetheart, are you okay?” Peter asked me, worry etched over his face.

“I’m good, my love, I’m good!” I wheezed from pain, struggling to remain upright and not double over. “I just really think that I’ll need my epidural the very second we get to the hospital.”

“Do you want to go now?” Peter fretted.

“Nonono my love, not now, not now,” I grimaced. “They’ll just send me back home again and tell me to come back later.”

“You’re doing so good, my sweetheart,” he praised me in a gentle voice. “I love you, amazing woman of mine.”

“You never let me forget that,” I grouched, suddenly feeling extremely irritable and sour. “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!”

“Contractions are getting closer together,” Elizabeth announced, looking up from her cell phone. She had uploaded a contraction counting app earlier that evening, telling me that I would thank her once Baby Violet Marie had been born. “Thirty nine minutes!”

“Good job, Bitty!” Peter praised her as Josh came up to the door just then.

“Hey Pete, intermission is just about over,” he announced. “Are we going to need to cut the concert short so that you can take Mary Claire to the hospital?”

“Nonono, I’m good,” I panted. “Peter, go out there and finish up that concert.”

“Sweetheart, are you sure?” he asked me.

“Yes,” I answered bluntly. “Now go.”

TAGLISTS ARE OPEN/ ASK BOX IS OPEN/ REQUESTS ARE OPEN/ PLOT BUNNIES ARE WELCOMED

If you liked this, then please consider buying me a coffee HERE It only costs $3!!!

PETER STEELE TAGLIST

@rock-a-noodle

@ch3rry-c01a

[namethat-i-oughttohavetoldyou]

Intermission

Hi bestie @munku-collar​, get a load of these cats! Some Demestrap for you. ♥ I hope you enjoy! All my love to those who read/like/reblog!

There’s disembodied music in the air making her heart pound, her tail whip and her body dance without ever getting tired, a wild, exhilarated grin on her face that she can’t and doesn’t want to control.

In the truest sense of the word, Demeter is going with the flow.

She also has a cramp in her left calf.

Damn it.

Plato whirls by and around her, dripping with the overconfidence that is so typical for young tomcats, and she lets herself be lifted, professionally and carefully, as is Plato’s style. (Victoria has chosen well.)

When he sets her down at the outer edge of the clearing to not stumble over other cats Demeter stretches up and up, playfully bops him on the ear with a paw and then proceeds to collapse on the lowest step in front of the tire.

She feels Skimbleshanks’ eyes on her immediately, good old Skimbleshanks, ever so hyper-aware and ready to step in in case of a failed lift, and she squints her eyes at him, too out of breath to tell him out loud that she’s alright.

Massaging her calf she snorts a laugh as Tugger prances past, carrying Bombalurina like a hard-won trophy, or perhaps a cat-shaped umbrella.

She hears Jellylorum and Asparagus applaud and whoop when Tumblebrutus and Mistoffelees use the temporarily empty clearing to, colloquially speaking, show what they’ve got. Demeter has never really considered jumping strength one of her talents, and right now she almost wishes she could. It’s enviable.

With a small half-breathless giggle and an inelegant flail of long limbs, Munkustrap plops down beside her, and Demeter couldn’t care less about potential sweatiness or otherwise dirty fur and pulls him close, determined to use the short time alone that has been granted to them, as a tired-out kitten or three will certainly follow quickly as soon as Munkustrap sits out for a short while.

Demeter can’t fault them for it, as inviting and comfortable to rest on as he always looks, but having it all to herself for a bit is at the same time unusual and very nice.

She tells him so. Munkustrap wraps his arms around her waist and nods. She can’t quite see it, but she can feel him smile against the back of her head.

They watch the small hurricane that is Tumblebrutus and Mistoffelees trying to out-perform each other for a while, catching their breaths and keeping each other warm as the cool night air meets their sweat-damp pelts.

Old Deuteronomy holds vigil a few steps above them, paws reaching up towards the moon, swaying from side to side, dancing in his own way.

The melody hanging in the air thrums in all of their bodies and even now pulls at her limbs, coaxing and teasing, calling to her – dance! Dance, Jellicle Cat, dance! – but she resists, because she knows it will not leave, and she can answer it later. She can take a moment to rest.

What a luxury that is.

She could very well rest until the ball is over, until the Jellicle Choice has been made, even until the day has awoken and the sun goes up to greet them, and still the melody would be there, waiting patiently until she takes the time to listen.

A little dizzy from watching the whirl of black and white of Alonzo hard at work, trying to impress Cassandra, Demeter closes her eyes and listens to Munkustrap humming, right leg bouncing in time to the rhythm. She will not be able to keep him sitting here for long, she knows, he could never resist the call of movement in any form for as long as others.

It makes the time he takes to sit with her all the sweeter.

She starts to rock them from side to side, dancing while sitting down, and his leg bounces less, but now she has to deal with him poking her flanks until she is gasping with laughter. Feeling revengeful, Demeter takes careful aim and jabs backwards at his belly, earning a squeal and ticklish giggling, and her flanks are left in peace.

Munkustrap leans down to rest his chin on her shoulder, and his ear flicks against hers as he speaks. He only says three words, but they both hear what lies beneath, sentences, paragraphs, several well-filled libraries worth of words passing between them.

Usually, he would make the most of it, coming up with a song on the spot just to package all those endless words into something that he thinks wouldn’t bore her to listen to (she could never be bored) but their time alone is limited tonight, so they leave it at that.

Demeter flicks her ear right back and gives in, surrendering fully to her feelings, reciprocating those three too-short, too-big, exhilarating words, rocking them side-to-side to the music; together they are not so much the eye of the storm but more a part of it, intimately rotating around each other, colliding with others ever so often. Their shared gravitation is too strong, she never loses sight of him and he never loses sight of her.

Bliss just might be almost being run over by Tantomile and Coricopat on their way down the tire, might be having to lean back to avoid being hit by Mistoffelees’ foot while he shows off with his trademark fouettés.

Demeter asks for Munkustrap’s opinion on bliss as Victoria shoos Mistoffelees away from the centre of the stage to make more room for Rumpleteazer in the row.

Munkustrap ducks to allow Tugger to jump over them and swagger his way to the front, thinks for a moment and then whispers something so scandalous into her ear that she cackles and smacks his arm. The serious answer follows quickly, and its enough to calm her down and make her eyes feel a bit misty.

She nudges him. He nudges her back.

Because Munkustrap’s lap is already occupied, Jemima plops down on Demeter’s with a little grunt of exertion. By the light of the Jellicle Moon, her fur has lost its red undertone and taken on a more golden hue; sunshine-golden, Demeter-golden.

Demeter hugs her kitten to her chest, leans into Munkustrap’s strong, safe arms and laughs.

Writing about Demeter seems to bring out the style-experimental side of me. Going without any dialogue is a very interesting thing to do, in any case. I hope I fulfilled your request to a satisfying degree :} Thank you for reading! ♥

[twoidiotwriters1]

Copycat: Agent Zero —(Marvel Fem!Oc)

A/N: See you on phase five (hopefully)! -Danny

Words: 1,703

Phase Four Masterlist

Previous chapter // Next Phase

Listen to: ‘Right Where You Left Me’ -by Taylor Swift

xxxv: Intermission

Cat woke up in a bad mood. She dragged herself out of bed and went to the living room, Happy was sleeping soundly.

Cat nudged his shoulder. "Wake up, man, that sound's driving me nuts."

Happy pulled off the mask drowsily. "I need this to sleep or I could die..."

"Yeah, yeah, go take a shower— I'll make breakfast for the three of us."

Happy pushed himself up muttering things. Someone knocked on her door.

"This is the third time in a week you come over and I don't know why you keep doing it, you know Happy doesn't like you." Matthew entered and placed his coat on the hanger, he closed the door. "Maybe I should stay at your place?" Cat suggested. A slight shift in his position let her know she had his attention. "No comment? Okay. I'll move in with my handsome, age-appropriate friend, and hope no sparks ignite while we—"

An arm wrapped around her waist, Matthew finally spoke. "I can't shut you up in the way you want me to," he kissed her forehead. "If you want to move in with me for a while, I don't mind it."

"You're weird," she teased. "A bachelor should take advantage of his freedom, instead of visiting one of his girlfriends every day."

"I don't come here every day, I just had a lot of free time this week," he retorted. "Are you taking Happy to the cemetery today?"

"Yup— and I'm meeting a friend in Jersey."

Matt raised a brow. "You won't be home?"

"I'll be back before midnight," she placed her chin on his shoulder. "Can I sleep at your place starting tonight, then?"

Matthew squeezed her waist a little. "As long as you don't give me trouble with my other girlfriends."

"Not like you'll babysit me, you ass." She scoffed.

He chuckled. "Alright, you can stay."

"Thank you!" She walked up to the stove. "That machine Happy uses is driving me crazy! And I know he hates the couch..." Felix jumped to the breakfast bar and he looked at Matt with the most pitiful eyes she'd seen. "He's asking for kisses."

Matthew reached out and the pet rushed to bump his little head against his knuckles. The man laughed. "This is how you ask me for kisses, too."

Cat threw the kitchen towel at him, Matthew dodged it, laughing a little louder. "Ass! It's been what, a month? And you're already disrespecting me..."

"It's you who keeps joking about all my girlfriends!" He smirked.

"Well, you haven't shown any interest in making things serious. We haven't been on a date at all."

Matt frowned. "Haven't we?" He tilted his head, and the hand that had been scratching Felix froze as he tried to remember. "I could've sworn we went out one night after patrolling..."

Cat's memory flashed some images, she kind of remembered she was... she was watching over... "Well, whatever that was, it wasn't that good if none of us remembers, right?"

Matthew grinned. "Maybe we just got too wasted."

"Maybe..." but Cat knew she couldn't get drunk at all.

Matthew rolled up his sleeves to wash his hands before helping. Cat looked at his forearms, she moved closer, and gently pulled his face to the side, he stopped what he was doing and lowered his face to kiss her.

"Eggs or waffles?" She mumbled against his lips.

"Your choice," he replied, moving a little and kissing her jawline. "Coffee or juice?"

"Coffee." Cat kissed him one last time before moving away.

"Go ahead."

Cat pulled her phone out to text Yelena and arrange their meeting. Happy placed his flowers next to a grave. Then she heard him ask the stranger next to them how he'd known the dead lady.

"Through Spider-man."

Cat glanced at them, she assumed he had to be a recent guy Spidey had saved. Not too recent, though, cause the last mission Spidey had been on, was her last one as an Avenger.

The harder she tried to remember, the blurrier the details would get, all she knew was that she was there to clean up Spider-man's mess, and she had no clue as to why she'd been so set on doing it. Maybe it was one of those situations in which nostalgia played a big part, perhaps she was attached cause he'd been the first guy her age she'd...

How on earth did she know Spider-man was her age? She didn't even know his name! He was just some random dude she'd met during her younger years, he wasn't important.

"Happy, time to go."

He excused himself from the conversation and walked up to her, she took a curious glance at the stranger's face. Over her sunglasses she sent a cold, calculating gaze, seizing him up as a possible threat, but decided he was nothing to worry about.

Cat walked away, leaving behind one of her most loyal, loving friends.

Yelena welcomed her with a smirk. "You changed your mind."

"I got curious," Cat shrugged. "What's the deal?"

The blonde woman hummed. "We get hired to do stuff, and then we get money in return."

"What kind of stuff?"

"Depends."

"Illegal stuff?"

Yelena chortled. "Cat, if they weren't, they would call someone else."

"I don't wanna do that."

"Oh, you don't? Too bad," Yelena stared at her, she didn't look friendly now. "Here is the problem. Do you remember the Sokovia accords? I will assume you do. Because you signed them."

Cat frowned. "What about them?"

"Something funny— the people that those accords were meant to control, are either dead or outside the planet, all except for a few."

"So what?"

Yelena shrugged. "This was your doing, Cat. You sold your freedom, in exchange for what? I hope you haven't forgotten?"

Cat tightened her fist, she couldn't remember why she'd signed.

"We get a call from the leaders of the world, we answer, and we deal with the problem. You can't say no. Got it?"

"Is the check worth it, at least?"

"It is a fat one."

"When do we start?"

Yelena made a sound of approval. "You're in! Good!"

"Under one condition."

"Let's hear it," the agent grinned.

"Don't call me Copycat. I don't want people to get the wrong idea."

"That the Avengers are actually good for something?"

Cat gave her an unsettling smile. "I know you don't agree, but some people out there need to believe heroes are good. It's all they have."

Yelena rolled her eyes. "They're very stupid if they choose to believe that."

"Or you know, children," the mutant scowled.

"Are you sure this isn't about your boyfriend?"

Cat stared at her without understanding. "What?"

"When I called you, that man that was there with you..."

"No one was with me."

"Except for him."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Yelena laughed. "Maybe you should stop having so many one-night things if you're not keeping count, that can be dangerous."

Cat leaned forward, over her sunglasses Yelena saw the feline pupils widening dangerously. "There was no man with me that day, Lena."

The widow looked away, clearly not believing her. "Hmm... so it's about the children. You like them?"

"They're the only ones I like, actually."

"If Copycat's not the one that will be working, then who?"

Cat made a face. "You said this is about the accords, I'll work under the name I used to sign them. Just don't laugh at it."

"I can't promise that."

"Zero."

Yelena cackled, but she stopped quickly. "Zero it is!" They shook hands. "One more thing— This job? Top secret. You don't talk about it, okay?"

"Fine."

"I'm sorry, can you repeat that again?"

"I've decided I'll travel the world helping people."

"Are you stupid?" Cat stated bluntly.

"Hey!"

"No, like, it's cool that you've found something to believe in, but do you think people will attend mass when the person giving it looks like the spawn of Satan?"

"Mimi, don't be mean—"

She cupped his face. "There are more ways to do good than to pray and hand out musty wafers."

Kurt pouted. "You make it sound horrible."

"Am I wrong?"

"Not the way I see it."

She got up. "Try it your way. You know where to find me."

"You're not gonna work for the good guys," he blurted out before she could abandon the room.

Cat avoided his face. "You don't know my plan."

"I can't follow you this time around, Mimi. I think... it's time we part ways."

She pushed her hair back, fixing her posture. "Call me if you need anything, and don't forget to send me postcards."

She walked past a cat cafe that she found extremely familiar. Cat thought very hard until a vague memory of her and Ned Leeds came to mind. She'd gone to that cafe the first time she'd been allowed to leave the Avengers tower on her own.

It'd been only one time, so why did it feel like she knew every corner of the shop by heart? Cat entered and ordered two coffees and a brownie to go, the cats quickly gathered around her... someone said to her once that she was a cat person...

"Here's your order," the waiter handed the paper bag to her. "Enjoy!"

When she told Happy that she'd move in with Matt, he tried to look upset about it, but she knew he was actually glad to have the whole place for himself.

He didn't like the idea of her first relationship being with an older guy, but the lawyer seemed to like her, and Cat was attracted to him. She wasn't in love though, she'd never been in love. The young woman was enjoying herself either way, even if she'd have to lie to Matthew about her job.

Cat was packing when a cardboard box fell at her feet. She gathered the stuff that'd fallen from it and placed them back inside. Pietro's face caught her attention: On his graduation day, he was standing in the middle of a group, and Cat was hugging him by the waist. MJ and Ned were on his right.

Someone's missing.

Cat did a quick recount of the people that had attended the event... she was sure someone else had stood there. She put the photo back in the box, closed its lid, and push it to the back of the closet. Her memory had never been the same even after the Skrulls helped her. She had mental gaps everywhere.

Sometimes she'd get the feeling that she'd forgotten how some things felt. She'd read somewhere that traumatic experiences could damage a person's ability to hold information, and the memories were usually the first thing to go.

Maybe it was best not to look into it.

Next Phase—>

Taglist.

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[thismaydestroyme]

Little Did I Know

Summary: In this short story Harry is famous, and he moved into a town during the summer to relax and potentially write some new songs for his upcoming album. I’m not sure if I’ll include some song lyrics, but if I do, I will take a piece of a lyric from a different song and pretend it’s his. 

Word Count: 2,272

“Sweetie, can you walk Cosmo?” Y/N hears her mom shouting from downstairs. 

“Yes, mom!” She says.  

Y/N is on her bed with her headphones on due to having a neighbor who’s living across her street who just moved in. For the past weeks there’s been a lot of moving trunks and ruckus because there’s a musician living among them. 

Y/N is a 21 year old girl who wants to be part of the music industry, but she doesn’t know shit. All she knows is that she loves music, and music is part of her. It was her dad that introduced her to music, like music that was before her time. Like Billie Holiday, Frank Sintra, The Rolling Stone, Queen, Otis Redding, Nirvana, The Knack, Elton John, The Doors, The Clash and so many more. That’s all she knew and all she wanted was to find a way to have that without having to know how to play the instruments, knowing how to sing. She simply just wants to go wherever the music takes her. 

She finally drags herself out of bed and starts putting on her sneaker and throwing on an oversized hoodie. She swaps her earbuds to her airpods and off to walk her dog. 

She walks down the stairs heavily which alerts her mother, and before she gets to the last step her mother hands her Cosmo’s leash. 

“Ugh. Couldn't you do - sorry mom.” She reaches for the leash that’s in her mom’s hand. 

“Yeah, that’s what I thought, darling.” She says giving her daughter a peck on her left cheek. 

Y/N bends over to put the leash on Cosmo’s neck, which Cosmo gives her a lick on her face. Y/N loves this dog of hers. He provides her safety and security, which she needs because let’s just say she has a breakdown every couple of days. 

Y/N stands back up and gives Cosmo a nice tug so he knows he’s ready for his next adventure. By adventure it means walking around the block she’s been doing for the past three years since Y/N got him. 

It’s around 3 o’clock which means the summer heat is hitting hard right about now. But it’s too hot to harm Cosmo in any way. Cosmo is the love of Y/N life. 

Cosmo and Y/N went on their typical route which they go past their new neighbor's house. Y/N realizes the new neighbor door is a jar, and she can smell bacon, which isn’t good for Cosmo because he’ll tend to escape and run towards the delicious smell he knows so much about. To Y/N not so surprise Cosmo started tugging on his leash that has Y/N being yanked and pulled. 

“Cosmo. Stop it right now!” Y/N shouts to Cosmo which she knows that wouldn’t help a damn thing. When he has something in mind there’s no stopping him. Cosmo has to be on something because it’s like he’s on some x game mode. Y/N starts tripping on her own feet and losing her own balance. 

They were running in the middle of streets when they received some honks and screams at fellow drivers on the road. Which Y/N give them a nice finger and simple “fuck off.” Y/N let’s go Cosmo leash because she isn’t in the mood to eat shit, so when she felt safe nothing could happen to Cosmo she let him go.

Cosmo went straight towards the slight jar front door, which I had to pick up my steps. Before Y/N could even be on the same street as the house, the new neighbor came out his house, holding Cosmo’s leash quite aggressively which had Y/N switch her mode to attack mode. 

“Hey, what the fuck? you didn’t have to pull him like that?” Y/N says aggressively while walking towards the house, when she gets in a hand reach, she pulls the leash so the neighbor doesn’t have his grubby hand on the leash. 

Oh you want to know Y/N neighbor? It happily to be Harry Styles. Forgot to include that in, sorry. 

“Are you getting mad at me? your dog happened to be in my house without any guardian. Your dog jumped on my couch, which I’m not too fond of. So anyone here who should be a little bit bitchy, it should be me.” Harry says hostile. He’s wearing a wife beater shirt that has his arms tattoos on display. For his lower part he’s wearing a nice black booty short which shows off that magnificent tiger tattoo. “Are you just going to stand there?” He snaps back. 

Y/N brought her eyes back to him which Y/N doesn’t approve of his tone. Y/N scuffs and rolls her eyes to the back of her head. “Sorry for your inconvenience. Enjoy the rest of your day.” Y/N plants a fake smile on her face. “C’mon Cosmo, let’s go, but this time I'm walking you.“ Y/N whispers to Cosmo while turning around to continue their walk with a small intermission they encountered. After a couple of steps Y/N turned her head around and when she did Harry was still standing there with annoyance on his face, which Y/N turned her head back around. 

“He’s going to be fun.” 

***

It took Y/N twenty minutes to walk her dog today. She wanted Cosmo to enjoy himself which he did because he saw a lot of squirrels today, and on top of that she didn’t want to ‘run’ into Harry again. Y/N should be excited to have a big celebrity living among them, and hopefully she could get reinspired about her future, but unfortunately that isn���t the case. Probably Harry is just having a bad day, and last year and the beginning of this year he had a lot of things going on. He’s officially a grammy winner, he filmed two movies, his latest album Fine Line has been doing phenomenally well, he was the first male to have appeared solo on Vogue magazine,  he was announced Hitmaker of the year, and so many more. So maybe he just needed to get his energy back, which Y/N understood. But man, it really had to be their first impression. 

When Y/N and Cosmo took a turn to walk to their front door, Y/N couldn’t help but to look across the street to see if Harry was there or not. Surprisingly he was, and he’s looking right at her. Y/N looked at his lips while he blew out a smoke. Fuck, he smokes?! 

Y/N doesn’t understand why he’s looking at her, but she doesn’t give a shit because the way he’s looking at her was his way of trying to figure her out. Whatever that fucking means. 

She broke eye contact and flipped her head around to her front door. She starts digging her hand in her pocket to fetch her keys out. Cosmo starts barking because the keys jiggles so he thought it was a new toy. “Oh you hash it.” She got the keys and shove it in the lock. Thank god, her mother didn’t lock the top of the door. 

The door finally releases and Cosmo immediately runs through, probably heading to his water bowl. “Thanks sweetie for walking Cosmo for me.” Y/N hears her mom in the kitchen probably smothering Cosmo. “Yep. I would say anytime, but I would be lying.” She says while walking up the stairs to head to her room. “Fuck off.” Her mother giggles. “I love you too.” That was the last thing Y/N said before she shut her door.

Y/N takes off her beat up vans and soon after plops on her unmade bed. Y/N stared at the few holes on the ceiling due to having a young Leonardo DiCaprio poster on her ceiling when she was younger. Young Leo hits different. 

Y/N couldn’t help it, but her brain went back to her small and rough interaction with Harry. She wished she met him on a  better note, but fuck it. But how could she move on from him? She’s a fan of his music and his viewpoint on the world. He’s a man of few word, but when he does talk, it’s fucking loud and impactful. He’s the main reason she took a few steps back off of social media. She’s barely on it, but when she does go on it, she isn’t on there for long like she used to. 

An hour went by and her mother started knocking on her door and then she came in. “You know mother, the purpose of knocking is to see if you're welcome to enter the space.” Y/N says nonchalantly sitting up to see her mother, but at the same time trying to hold in her laugh. 

“Well, if you want to contribute to paying the bills, I’ll happily reconsider waiting to be called on.” Her mother threw back. “Nope. You’re good.” Y/N says shaking her head. 

“Mmmmhh. Well, I’m going to hang out with the girls from work. Do you want me to make you something before I go?” That’s one thing Y/N loves about her mother, she is so selfless and she always makes sure I’m good before she wants to do something for herself. 

“I’m good. Enjoy your night.” Y/N gave her mom a smile to know she’ll be alright. “If you’re sure, then I’m off,” Her mom says all happily. “If you need anything just text me. Okay?” 

“Okay,” Y/N got up to give her mom a nice, strong hug. “love you.” Y/N whispers. “Love you more beautiful.” We pull back and she’s off to the race. 

Y/N walks to her window to pull the blind. She sometimes likes looking out her window and just stares off into space. Something about watching people live their life comforts her. She loves people watching. 

Y/N found herself mumbling some words, while people watching, but she couldn’t help but stop her little rampage. Y/N feels heavy and she’s unable to even grasp the concept, so when she starts feeling that way she tends to start saying random things. It could be something she could use in the future. To make sure she doesn’t forget she whip out her phone to go to the notes app where she has a folder filled with random words and sentences. There are things in there that could potentially be useful like, “More or less a painful experience. Only ever real if you're delirious. the summer before you,” “I think you're gonna be my biggest fan.” So on and so forth. That’s what the folder is filled with fragments and potentially some song lyrics. 

Y/N tossed her phone to her bed, and left her phone to bother Cosmo downstairs. Y/N loves that sucker. Before Y/N could even smother him with love, he’s currently sleeping on his bed in the corner of the living room. 

Fucking great. 

Y/N just wanted something to do, and her damn dog couldn’t give her that. She looks at the clock on the wall in the living room and it’s currently 6 almost to be seven. Y/N could go upstairs and ask one of her friends to hangout, but she doesn’t want that. The best alternative could be taking a walk and seeing where her feet take her. She likes that option better, so she quietly went upstairs so she doesn’t wake up Cosmo.

Y/N changes her attire to ripped oversized mom jeans, an oversized graphic tee she bought on Depop and once again her infamous black and white vans. She grabs her airpods, and her keys. She’s finally ready for the evening. 

Y/N went back downstairs to check on Cosmo and make sure he has food and water ready for him just in case he wakes up while she’s still gone. When she felt everything was in order she ended straight to the door. 

The weather feels astronomically better than before which had Y/N feel much better with her decision. Y/N isn’t sure if she should take the right or left. If she decides on taking a right she’ll pass Harry’s house, but if she does decide to take a left she wouldn’t. Y/N starts going back and forth, but she decides on going left. 

There was a nice breeze in the summer air, and she’s listening to “I’m a Slave 4 U” by the one and only Britney fucking Spears. “What's practical is logical. What the hell who cares. All I know is I'm so happy. When you're dancing there. I'm a slave 4 U.” Y/N finds herself singing to herself. She’s been walking around aimlessly and rocking out to her songs for about thirty minutes. She’s aware she’s probably creating attention to herself, but she couldn’t find herself to care. Y/N is enjoying herself. 

“I’m a SLAVE FOR YOU!” Y/N shouts out with her eyes pinch shut, when she finally opens them she finds herself in front of Harry’s house. The worst part wasn't that she was walking in a circle. It wasn’t that she belted out to her songs. It wasn’t she was flinging her body around like she was the balloon thingy at the cars dealership shop. Nope. None of those. 

The worst fucking part is, Harry Fucking Styles is currently outside watching her. Fucking watching her. Once again fucking smoking. Again.

[dapandapod]

Dearest Pandolfius,

I have heard that you write excellent stories, so I have come to your askbox to humbly beg for some Lambden content. I'm thinking a Modern AU in which Aiden is a ballet dancer, but in one of his performances he stumbles on stage. Do whatever you want with that hehe.

Love, Jolfius

I am so sorry Jolfius my love, this took way too long to publish. It has been sitting in my drafts for ages because I couldn't think out a crude thing for Lambert to say. But here it is at last <3 (Oh yeah, and let's see if anyone catches my zelda reference ehehe)

Thank you @kuripon for beta reading and @all-hail-the-witcher for helping me do dancing somewhat correct, and @damatris for letting me borrow drunk sheep on a tightrope <3 You are the very best

Warnings: Mentions of serious injuries and recovery. Lambert shows he cares by getting angry, and poor dancing knowledge.

On Ao3 here

Lambert sits in the audience, his knee jumping. It is opening night and the company has been practicing for months. And practicing harder than probably most was his love, Aiden.

He doesn’t have a big part, staying towards the back of the corps sections. Nothing that can be too much. They are really lucky they decided to keep him, but Tissaia always had a good eye towards Aiden.

The curtains open, the orchestra starts, the ballerina on stage breaks her pose and starts her pirouettes and twirls, her complicated leaps and turns, ever graceful.

A man approaches her and together they dance to the trembling violins. It is beautiful, it is painful, it is aching and full of emotion. Two years ago, Aiden had been in an accident. A piece of scenery came undone, the moon literally falling down on stage. Luckily, Aiden was the only one who got hurt.

Nothing lucky about it, in Lambert's opinion.

The worst part of the injury had been the head trauma. He spent two weeks in a coma, and when he woke up, they discovered that he had lost sight in one eye and was suffering terrible migraines. His right knee had also taken a bad hit, and nothing pained Lambert’s heart more than watching Aiden get the news of his injuries.

Lambert had spent many months with him in the hospital, in physical therapy, cuddled together in their pitch black bedroom when the outside became too much.

But nothing, absolutely nothing could keep Aiden from his dreams.

The first time Lambert drove Aiden to the studio, they both were nervous. Tissaia said Aiden would always be welcome back, but they all knew they couldn’t afford a dancer that couldn’t dance.

“You could always become a teacher?” Lambert offered after a long silence, Aiden staring out the side window. “If you are half as good as that twat Vilgefortz, you would run him out of business. He looks  worse than a drunk sheep on a tightrope.” 

Aiden didn’t reply.

Somehow, Aiden had made it through a gentle training program. He was not the first dancer with injuries, and he wouldn’t be the last. His knee kept up surprisingly well, but his depth perception was fucked up now, so there had been some wobbly landings.

But how Aiden shined.

And here they are, after a long journey. Tissaia finally agreed to let Aiden be a corps dancer, to stand on stage again. Lambert follows the story with mild interest. It is an adaptation of a Polish fairytale about a sorceress, and a man bewitched to be her destiny. Despite being each other's halves, they fight like the sea fights the shore. 

It is a lot more complicated than that, but Lambert is not here for them. He sits with rapt attention, and after almost 45 minutes, Aiden steps out on stage.

It is hard to see him, hidden in the third row of dancers on the left side, but Lambert only has eyes for him. They fought about this. Hard and loud and angry.

Lambert thinks Aiden is an idiot for still trying, for not taking a step back, for risking everything all over again. The doctor had said one bad landing and Aiden might not even be able to walk again, yet alone dance.

But as the light shines on his hair, slicked back in a tight bun, his eyes rimmed with kohl, Lambert can see why Aiden fought him. The way he carries himself out here, how in control he is of his own body. He is beautiful. Alive. Happy.

He might never get a lead role, might never dance with the prima ballerina. But being out here is enough. Aiden lives and breathes for his dancing.

And just as Lambert relaxes, Aiden stumbles and winces. It is small, just a light misstep, but Lambert saw the wince, the clench of his jaw. 

Fuck.

As soon as the first intermission begins, Lambert goes backstage. Many of the dancers greet him, but he doesn’t have time. Aiden sits with his leg held high, muscles taped and tense. Worry and

anger well up in Lambert, and soon it spills over.

“I fucking told you this was a bad idea!” he spits, and Aiden jerks in surprise, turning to look at him.

“I’m fine, Lambs.”

“No, you are fucking not! I told you and you never listen!”

“Lambert.”

His tone is sharp, and Lambert draws in an angry breath. Holds it.

“Do you trust me?” Aiden asks him, taking his hand and squeezing it.

The anger drains out of him, but the worry remains.

“With my life,” he says quietly. “Just not with your legs.”

Aiden smirks, just on this side of dirty. The things they have done with those legs makes it hard to dispute just how much he trusts them, and Aiden knows it.

“Shut it,” Lambert mutters, and Aiden laughs, deep and happy.

Somewhere behind them, the stage manager yells the five minute warning, and Aiden pulls Lambert down into a kiss.

“I’m fine, Lambchops,” Aiden says against his lips and then he leans back. ”It was just a stumble. It happens, it hurts, but I’m alright. I have a half hour break before the next dance, and Triss will never let me out there if she decides I can’t. It’s fine.”

Lambert grumbles, but finds himself defeated.

He does trust Aiden, and he trusts Triss to keep Aiden down to earth. Aiden pulls him in for another slow, warm kiss, soothing the last remnants of anger and worry away.

“When we get home tonight, I got a surprise for you,” Aiden whispers, dragging his lips gently across Lambert's cheek. Fuck, how he loves this man.

Aiden doesn’t stumble again. His dance is flawless, and Lambert can’t breathe. When they get home, they are both exhausted. Lambert helps him with his night time routine of stretching and massaging.

He is beautiful, aching and full of emotion when he lowers himself down to one knee in front of Lambert. He is alive, happy and full of hope when he lifts a red velvet box and offers the ring inside to Lambert.

Once again, Lambert can’t breathe.

[mashup-writing]

Somebody else by 1975 and it is sparkles-✨

It worked out well; Park Chaeyoung (Blackpink)

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Summary: Y/N and Rosé had decided to announce their relationship, but they were gonna be extra about it.

Requested? ☑

"I remember it all too well."

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It was the final part of Y/N's concert and while he's used to the feeling of thousands of eyes on him, what's going to follow was something that made him extremely nervous, which says a lot. Especially when he was counting on the audience for his plan to work.

At the start of his career, he had announced that he was a Transgender man on all of his social media platforms. An action that took a lot of guts, and and an action that drew a lot of attention to him. At the rising point of his career when he was questioned about it in an interview, his answer was something that made him well known figure within the industry.

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"Now Y/N at the very beginning of your career, you told the world that you were a trans man. That must've taken extreme bravery on your part seeing as those people who are against your community- The LGBT community, can be downright nasty and ruthless in 'Expressing' their dislike. What mae you decide to do this so early on in your time in the spotlight?"

Y/N smiles in his seat, switching from a laid back posture to one that elegantly demands attention, his next words being the ones that made him an icon amongst allies and LGBT people alike. "I am an advocate of LGBT rights before I am an artist, at the very start of my career I wanted to make it clear that I didn't want bigots to be a part of my following or an avid listener of my music and while I'm a man who values my privacy, I value honesty and transparency just as much. So if you're someone who believes that transgender people are just 'Confused' or that they're a 'Crime' against nature? Then go ahead and consider me your worst nightmare."

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Y/N had been sitting on a chair for quite a few moments now, holding a Q&A onstage before he stands up and decides to follow through with the first part of his plan. "Alright, now today's intermission, I'm going to do a cover of my most favorite song called 'Somebody Else by The 1975'. Oh and don't worry you guys, the Q&A will still continue after this cover." The stadium fills with loud screams and cheers from the people watching as he places his mic back on its stand and goes to pick up his electric guitar. The lights dim into a sunset red as the opening notes of the music fill out through the speakers, Y/N starts singing and playing his guitar as the crowd claps along to the beat.

At the start of the second verse, Y/N takes off his guitar and takes the mic off of the stand, walking back to the guitar stand, he puts the instrument down before walking back to the front of the stage and hyping the people up to sing along with him in the pre-chorus. The entrance platform that had sunk back down starts rising as a distinctly feminine voice fills the stadium at the start of the chorus. Y/N smiles widely as the stage screens show Rosé walking towards him, offering her hand. He takes it and raises their hands up, leading the Blackpink member into a twirl, the crowd has gone wild at this point and the duo are pretty sure that somebody or multiple people in the audiences are Blinks seeing the way they've started chanting Rosé's name even without Y/N introducing her beforehand.

The bridge part comes along and the two singers alternate their lines. When the instrumental hits, Rosé takes his hands and starts dancing along to the beat, dorkily smiling and roping the man into dancing along. When the final chorus comes, Y/N and Rosé sing together, motioning for the crowd to sing along and the stadium fills with the sounds of music and the combined voices of a chanting crowd.

The song comes to an end with loud cheers for the two vocalists who are now smiling widely while catching their breaths. Y/N offers his hand to Rosé and when she takes it, the two raise their hands and perform a bow. He lets go of her hand once they've come up from the bow, turning to face her before speaking. "May I introduce, Park Chaeyoung of Blackpink everyone."

The woman in question laughs, shaking her head before going to bow once again and waving to the crowd with both hands, Y/N decides to push his luck. "Also known as Rosé of Blackpink, or Rosie, or Foodsé, or Chipm-" He runs as she jokingly tries to swat at his shoulder.

The cheers continue and the two laugh with each other before Rosè speaks to the crowd. "So how did you guys like our cover?" She's answered with loud cheers and Y/N's manager signals at the two from behind the curtain, raising both his hands up. 10 minutes left, Y/N nods at him and smiles while Rosé turns her attention back to the crowd, he gives the singers a thumbs up with a dorky smile before taking his leave. Y/N shakes his head in humor.

"I'm pretty sure I'm speaking for both me and Y/N over here when I say that we're happy to see you guys loved it." Y/N turns to Rosé to agree with her statement. Y/N speaks into the mic saying that he and Rosé will spend the last ten minutes of the concert for the Q&A. The following minutes fly by with questions aimed at Y/N, questions aimed at Rosé as well as questions aimed at both come in droves, until Y/N announce that the next question will be the last one before the event comes to an end and they have to start saying goodbye. Multiple people raise their hand, and he leaves it up to Rosé to pick who gets to ask the final question. She gives her mic to a girl in the front row, and the girl states her question.

"How did you come up with the idea to have Rosé make a special appearance for a cover? Going by your latest Instagram posts before this album dropped, it seemed like you guys were writing songs together. So we were really hyped for a collab." The fan hands the mic back to Rosé who smiles at Y/N as he takes a deep breath, steeling himself for what's to come next. The Western singer brings his mic up to his lips to answer.

"There's a pretty good reason for this cover actually. 'Somebody Else' is a song that holds special meaning for the both of us, besides being our favorite song." Y/N motion for Rosé to take the lead, and she steps closer to him before speaking. "There was a point in me and Y/N's life that we didn't know where we stood. It a point we could sort of compare to the kid's game: Tag." She looks over to the man beside her, silently asking if he wants to back out of it. Instead Y/N takes her hand, interlocks their fingers and squeezes. Go on, I'm ready.

"Long story short is that I was hung up and broken hearted over this person and he was hung up over me." Collective gasps resound through out the stadium. After all, the only thing they know about you and Rosé relationship up until this point was that she was helping you write songs. You bring your mic up to your lips and speak. "The pictures on my Instagram of her looking at the lyrics I wrote? That wasn't Rosé helping me write. That was Chaeyoung reading what I wrote about her." The crowd goes crazy over the newfound information, and Y/N's pretty sure that they miss the way he referred to her using her real name instead of her stage name. But Chaeyoung catches onto it and she smiles softly at the man.

"I can't even begin to describe how thankful I am to Y/N by the way. Staying up countless nights and listening to me ramble on about being torn up, being there for me in every single way, helping me heal and doing all of this without expecting anything in return. Such a gentleman really." The crowd collectively 'Awwwwws' and Y/N hangs his head low, hiding his blush from everyone, Rosé laughs as Y/N looks at the ceiling, composing himself before speaking.

"I would never expect anything in return from you and you don't have to thank me either, I was just doing what a friend would've done at a time like that. Anyways, I stuck by her in those times all while all I could think of afterwards was how stupid the person who broke her heart was, all while I wished I was the one she had ended up with instead of them. I never even hinted at how I felt about her in those times, much less actually tell her. I promised myself I wouldn't tell her how I felt until the time was right. I didn't want her to feel guilty or pressured at all by what I had to say." Y/N looks from the crowd infront of him to Rosé before continuing "Time passed and her heartbreak had healed. But she still wasn't ready for a relationship for a while after that whole ordeal, so I kept my promise and I waited."

"When I had told my members and Y/N that I was finally ready for another relationship- That like, I was completely okay. Y/N decided to court me instead of asking me outright to be his girlfriend. Can you believe this sap?" The crowd laughs with Rosé as Y/N's jaw hits the floor, he walks away from Rosé and heads to the other side of the stage. He crouches and points to Rosé "I was being noble, chivalrous and mind you I was trying to prove that I was boyfriend material! Then she goes and calls me a sap?! I can't believe this..." Y/N lowers the mic and shakes his head in mock disbelief. Rosé doubles over in laughter before walking over to him and resting her free hand on his shoulder.

"Yes, I'm calling you a sap because you are one. But it worked out didn't it?" She looks down at Y/N before continuing. "I gladly said yes." The crowd goes crazy, people cheering, some were jumping, and the others were speechless.

Y/N smiles, a full smile from ear to ear as he takes Chaeyoung's hand on his shoulder to bring it to his lips. "Yeah, yeah it worked out well in the end didn't it?"

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A/N: Damn writing in 3rd person is a TASK. I might never do it again, I hope this was good enough? I'm not too sure about the ending but I liked the idea of them announcing their relationship infront of a crowd instead of doing it via a social media post. So yeah.

[ye4gerismarchives]

the bachelorette: chp 2 part 2

an: hey guys! sorry for taking so long! here's the masterlist if needed.

tags: black!reader, fem coded reader, I finished this late at night so, it's just a whole lot of nonsense

tag list: @taybird

After an hour of chatting and filling yourself up with food, you needed a nap. You hoped that you wouldn't fall into a sleep so deep that you'd never go to the show. It'd be a bummer.

You ended up sleeping for two hours, right when Levi had entered your room to tell you to get ready. He looked tired, the boys were probably bothering him.

Once Levi left your room, you took another bath. Once you were done with that, you brushed your teeth and moisturized. Moments later, you let your team know it was ok to enter your room and help you with your outfit

Satisfied with your choice of clothing, you started on your makeup.

You were excited about this date. Levi told you that you, Mikasa, and the guys were going to watch Aladdin. Not only was it familiar but it was romantic. The thought about who you might eliminate crossed your mind but you continuously shake your head to forget about it

When you entered a seating room where your dates and Mikasa were located. The first thing you noticed was Jean, Eren, and Mikasa chatting. Well, not exactly. Jean, dressed in a suit vest, along with a suit jacket and pants, was sitting on the armrest of the seat that Mikasa was sitting in, and Eren, in a green sweater vest and dark blue dress pants was sitting on the couch across from Mikasa. The boys were chatting about something you had no idea about and Mikasa didn't seem like she had much to say. She gave them both of her attention and seemed interested in what they had to say.  You just hoped that she hadn't gained the attention of either man. The game wasn't over yet.

Bertholdt and Reiner weren't too far from the other three. Bertholdt was in a blue sweater with a white dress shirt underneath and khaki pants. Reiner was in a green dress shirt that showed off a bit of his chest and dark pants. The two were having a conversation of their own but then stopped when they saw you.

"Hi, y/n," Bertholdt greets you. You really liked his energy. On your first night with all the guys, you learned that Bertholdt was a really shy guy (and you almost eliminated him because of that) but after a few words between the two of you, you realized he was a really really nice guy. He was too nice. There was no way the other guys could pick a fight with him.

Jean and Eren stop conversing to look up at you. A smile immediately appeared on Jean's face. "You look nice, y/n," Eren jumps in. Your heart jumped slightly. You managed to hold a conversation with him but damn, that man was so fine. But so was Jean...and Bertholdt...and Reiner. There was no way you'd be able to eliminate those guys.

"Hi!" you manage to get out. "Levi told me we were going to watch Aladdin. I'm pretty excited about that...and you guys have not choice but to be excited either."

The guys let out a laugh. Mikasa had her signature emotionless face on but you knew she was laughing on the inside.

"Before we go, I wanted to discuss seating with you guys." You tried not to think about this because it made you feel nervous. Only two guys would be able to sit by you and two others would have to sit with Mikasa. You were worried that one of the guys would take it the wrong way or that Mikasa would manage to steal one of the guys from you.

"For this date, I'd like Eren and Jean to sit with Mikasa. I see you two a lot and you always stop by to talk to me, so maybe it's time for a break," you explain. "Aw, Jean, she's breaking up with us," Eren says in a jokingly sad tone. Jean shakes his head and chuckles. "That's fine, y/n, and it makes sense. We do have to share."

You're so grateful that they understand. You look over to Bertholdt and Reiner. Bertholdt's face is already red. "You two will be sitting. with me. Is that ok, Bertie?" Bertholdt freezes and Reiner pats his friend's lap. "He'll be alright. He's never been this close to a woman before."

"T-That's not true," Bertholdt finally says. You thought the way he got flustered was so cute. "The limo's outside, so it's best that we get going, yeah?" you say.

The minute you got to the theatre. You were met with paparazzi. Bertholdt was taken by surprise, so you took his hand once he got out of the limo. You knew this was going to start a conversation but you needed this man to chill out. Fortunately, Bertholdt did not have a meltdown when you held his hand.

He was a good boy for the rest of the night as well. When the first act of the show was reaching its end, you held his hand once more. He took his eyes off the show to give you a small smile. He seemed to be comfortable with you now.

During intermission, you decided to excuse yourself and head to the bathroom. Mikasa followed you- there was no way she was going to left with four women hungry boys.

"You have a favorite?" you ask, referring to the boys. Mikasa's eyes widen. "You have a favorite. Wow, Mikasa."

"y/n, don't be mad...I...Eren is cute and so is Jean but I want to wait. If one of those guys goes home, I won't hesitate to get their numbers."

"Mikasa, you're terrible," you say, trying to hold in your laughter. You tried to be pissed but Mikasa was way too cute. The fact that she was eyeing two of your "boyfriends" was concerning but the fact that she admitted it and the way she did was hilarious.

During the second and final act, you decided to try your little hand trick with Reiner. You waited until he seemed focused on the story to place your hand on top of his. You realized how big his hand was. It wasn't bigger than Bertie's but it was something. He must have noticed how distracted you were by his hands because when you looked up, he was smirking at you. Right then and there, Reiner intertwines your fingers and they remain like that the rest of the show.

After the performance, you all got an opportunity to go backstage and meet the performers. A few of them told you that you were beautiful, others were interested in what guy you would pick. Before you all left, there was a request to take a group photo.

Jean stood behind you and put a hand around your back. He looked down at you. "Is this ok?" You nod. Jean's hand filled your whole back. This guy could pick you up and throw you somewhere if he wanted. But of course, he was too kind. You looked over at Eren, who had this hand over Mikasa. You were beginning to feel suspicious until you saw that Reiner had his hand around Mikasa's waist. Reiner couldn't possibly be into Mikasa, right?

That was something you had to sleep on.

The ride home was silent- other than Mikasa's soft snores and Eren's loud ones. The two had fallen asleep on each other. Every time Eren snored, it just got louder and the rest of you couldn't contain your laughter. Jean had his phone out, recording this whole thing because "at some point, the world needs to see who Eren Yeager really is". You had tears rolling down your face because this was really stupid but funny at the same time.

When you got to the mansion, Reiner helped you out of the car. Jean asked about Eren and Mikasa but you told him not to worry about them. They'd figure themselves out. Reiner and Jean wished you goodnight and began to make their way inside. Bertie stayed behind.

"Is everything alright? I know things were a bit overwhelming today," you start.

"Yeah, but you really helped me out. So thank you. I'm working on myself because I really want to have some alone time with you. I need to have the courage to face you though."

"Aw, Bertholdt. You're perfect. I like you just the way you are," you reassure him.

"You said my name right."

"You're right, I did."

Bertholdt looks like he wants to say something but he doesn't.

Instead, he kisses you.

"B-bertholdt..."

"I should have asked for permission first," he says sheepishly.

"No! It was ok...I just wasn't expecting that from you," you admit. "Head inside ok? I'll make sure we talk after the Rose ceremony."

Bertholdt nods and gives you one more look before heading inside.

Yeah, none of these guys were going to go home

(SPACER)

damn I didn't know Bertie had moves like that 😭 anyways y'all, here's a poll. it's not an elimination one but I miss hearing y'all's thoughts. take a look! until next time :)

[trashforhockeyguys]

Days Gone Silent - Jeff Skinner

Part two to Days Gone Quiet.

A/N: So, pregnancy, mentions of a possible miscarriage, trip to the hospital. If any of those things make you uncomfortable, maybe don’t read. 

A whopping 6.6K, but I’m honestly very proud of this story. I’m proud of how this story is. I’m proud of the character growth.

Two pink lines. That was all you could see. Those two stupid lines. Seemed ironic to you that there happened to be a vicious thunderstorm outside. Each clap made you jump, but it was those two lines that made you feel sick. Those two lines….they weren’t what you wanted. 

Your hands shook as you tried to get a grip on yourself. You had to meet Jason in twenty minutes. You were going to the Sabers game tonight. You almost wanted to laugh. This wasn’t supposed to be your life. 

You pulled at your hair for a moment. This was not how your twenties were meant to go. You shook your head and pushed away from the counter before throwing the test in the trash. You could push it out of your mind for one night. 

You arrived at the arena later than planned. Still, you didn’t rush to your seat. You didn’t run to meet Jason. Instead you slowly walked up to your level. Jason liked the higher levels because he could see more. Plus he liked it when you were able to explain the plays to him.

“You’re late. Nearly missed half of the period,” Jason announced when you sat down next to him. 

“Sorry…” You trailed off, scanning the bench even though you knew he wouldn’t be on it, “Um. Yeah, sorry. There was traffic.”

“You okay?” Jason asked.

You nodded slowly. You knew he wasn’t on the ice, he hadn’t been cleared yet. But you knew him well enough to know that he was in the arena. He was here. You hadn’t seen or spoken to him since you left his apartment nearly two months ago...but he was here.

It was half way through the first intermission before you spoke again, “I’m pregnant.”

“Oh..wow..” He blew out a deep breath, “Well, at least we know I’m not the dad.”

“Jason.”

He studied your face before looking back at the ice, realization seeming to hit him like a truck, “Oh shit. It’s his.”

“Well...that’s the only option.”

You scratched at your neck and tried not to keep looking for him. You felt sick, but a different kind of sick. You tried so hard not to think about it. Or to think about the argument that ruined your once perfect relationship with the one man you loved more than anything. 

The engagement ended, mere months before the wedding, because of one simple thing- you didn’t want kids.

You’d never been that person that saw yourself having children. Never thought about being a mother. You loved kids, always swore you’d be the best godmother and aunt, but never mother. That’s what ended it. He wanted them, so desperately, and you didn’t. He knew that it was one thing you wouldn’t waiver on. You would bend when it came to so much, but this was one thing you were going to stand firm on. 

You could still remember the way he looked at the spare bedroom, telling you that he thought that it would one day become a nursery. You remembered the hurt that fell across his face when you made it abundantly clear that it would never happen. 

“Okay...So you call him and tell him,” Jason shrugged, “He’s a good guy, he’ll take care of you.”

“You don’t get it Jase,” You sighed, “I never wanted this. He’s always been the one that wanted kids, I never ever wanted to be a mom.”

“We’ll, there’s option 2,” He said almost grimly.

“No…” You shook your head, “I need to tell him. I might hate it...but damnit he has a say in this.”

You tugged on your hair and tried to figure out how you were supposed to tell him. It had been nearly two months since you talked last. You were the one who left this time. You doubted you could just call him out of the blue. You knew you couldn’t just spring it on him, even though that’s all you wanted to do. You wanted to just rip off the bandaid, tell him and get it over with. Figure out how you were meant to move on from this.

“Or maybe I just don’t tell him.”

“Y/N, you know you can’t do that.”

“I know...I just-” You took a deep breath and tried to push down the feeling, “We didn’t get married because I didn’t want kids. And then when he got hurt we kind of found our way back to each other, until we both slipped and now there’s a fucking baby.”

Jason grabbed your hand, trying to calm you down as best as he could. He might not have known you as long as Jeff had, but he knew when you were stressed. And this….this was more than stress. 

Meanwhile, across the rink, Jeff could see you from the box the team put him in. He was off his crutches, and was allowed to skate again, but hadn’t been fully cleared to play. He thought about calling you since you left his apartment. He wanted to have you back in his life, but he also knew you’d run if he tried. But he missed you. He missed the late nights and the quiet mornings spent in bed. He wished there would've been a way that the two of you could’ve worked it out. It had only taken him a couple of weeks after the entail breakup to realize he didn’t want to live his life without you, but the damage had already been done and he didn’t know how to reverse any of it.

He could see you clutching onto another man, he was pretty sure it was that guy you’d told him about. A blind date that turned into a great friendship. He tried not to be jealous of the way you leaned into the guy, the way you seemed to cling to him. Jeff knew he had no right to those feelings.  

But he still felt like you were his forever...even if he knew that wasn’t going to happen now.

It was nearly a week later when you walked out of the office, a small stack of pictures in your hand. It was a little blob, barely more than a blip on the paper, but it was there. You were nearly out of the first trimester. It was real now.

You took several deep breaths as you walked through downtown. This was really happening, there was nothing you could really do about it. There was going to be a baby. You tried to imagine what your life was going to look like now. Your apartment was big enough for now. But the thought of moving back home to be closer to your family sounded nice, just so you could have help. You weren’t sure how you were even meant to raise a child. 

You found yourself pulling your jacket in closer. The cold wind caused you to shiver. You knew you needed to call Jeff….whatever happened, he deserved to know. Especially when he was the one who always wanted this life. He wanted the white picket fence and swingsets. 

“Y/N!”

You looked up to see Jack just a few feet away from you. Startled, you dropped the small stack of black and white photos. You jumped, realizing he was moving to pick them up. He got to them before you could fully tell your body to grab them first. You could see the emotions fly across his face before he handed them back to you. 

“Do you want to go get some lunch?” He asked, taking you by surprise. 

You let out a deep breath before nodding, “Yeah...lunch would be good.”

So the two of you landed at a table in the corner of the restaurant he brought you to. You knew Jack wouldn’t bombard you with questions, but you knew he had them. He, like the rest of the team, knew you were living with Jeff while he was getting back on his feet, literally. It wouldn’t take much to try to put two and two together. 

“So..are you okay?” 

You weren’t expecting that to be the first thing he asked you. Jack, the sweet man that you and Jeff both befriended not long after coming to Buffalo. The man that was there for Jeff after the breakup, who let him crash on his couch more than enough times. The one who would still like and comment on all of your posts, especially when you got a massive promotion. He was sitting there like nothing ever changed, like you hadn’t forced all of them to choose Jeff. 

“I um-” You shook your head slightly, “I don’t think so. Not this time.”

He reached his hand across the table and gently grabbed yours, “I’ll be here, if you need a friend.”

“You’re not even going to ask?” I questioned, “You don’t care who’s it is?”

“I didn’t think I had to ask. He was pretty forthcoming with the details of those weeks.”

“I didn’t- I hurt him again. Again and again and again, that’s all I do.”

Jack shrugged, “You two are fire and ice, but somehow I don’t think either of you mind in the moment. It’s when you leave each other again that the pain sets in.”

You shook your head, “We broke it all off for a reason. Seems like the universe didn’t care. I missed a couple of pills, and now…”

“It happens.”

“Not to me, it doesn’t. But...here I am anyway.”

“And you haven’t told him yet?” His tone was cautious, he didn’t want to overstep. 

“You would’ve known if I had. Just not sure how to…”

He smiled softly and squeezed your hand, “It’s Jeff, he’ll be alright.”

And so that night you found yourself outside of Jeff’s apartment. You bounced on your feet and tried to gather enough courage to knock on his door. Your stomach twisted, you weren’t sure if it was because of the morning sickness that took hold of you all hours of the day, or if it was your own fear.

You were sure you looked awful. You’d spent the last couple of hours throwing up. It seemed the thing inside you didn’t appreciate the lunch you’d eaten with Jack. Although, there was little that that tiny little blip did like. 

You raised your hand and gently knocked on the door. So gently, you wondered if he even heard it. But then you could hear the scuffle from the otherside of the door, maybe even some laughing. 

His face was flushed, a careless smile was spread across his face. His shirt was half unbuttoned and you could smell the cheap perfume, it was enough to make you want to vomit all over again. 

“Y/N,” He looked as if he’d been hit. 

“Hey come back, I’m lonely,” The female voice called from somewhere inside. 

You were stunned. You felt cornered. I could feel myself backing away, trying to make a quick escape but my body wouldn’t let me. As much as I wanted to run, my legs were stuck.

“I’m sorry...I-” You couldn’t finish before the smell of that perfume became too much. You turned and ran as fast as you could, until you were outside and the cold crisp air hit you. But even then, you found yourself hunched over the nearest trashcan as the heaving began. You wanted all of this to just be over already. The sickness and the feeling like the world was going to cave in on you. You wanted to feel happy like so many other moms. But you were scared. Only scared. 

“Y/N?” 

Next thing you knew, you could feel someone pulling your hair back out of your face. The wind stinging as it hit the warm tears that were falling. You hated getting sick. But you hated whatever was going on upstairs even more. 

He still smelled like her, of course he would. You knew Jeff, he likely just bolted after you as soon as you ran, leaving her alone. Once you composed yourself enough you tried to put enough distance between you two. Knowing if you got closer it would all just start again. 

“Just...stay there.”

“What’s going on? Are you okay?” He was panicked.

“You should-” You took another deep breath of the cold air to try and clear your lungs, “You should go back. You’re busy.”

“Fuck that,” He snapped, “What’s going on with you? You show up and then just bolt?”

“Seriously, unless you want me to start throwing up again...you should go back inside.”

“What the hell Y/N?”

“It’s the perfume, okay. I can’t- the smell makes me sick.”

He laughed almost coldly. You hadn’t seen this side of him since the night you broke things off. He was angry, he had every right to be. 

“Then maybe you should have called before you just showed up here for nothing,” His tone made you take a step back, “Obviously I was preoccupied. So I think I will go back upstairs.”

“I’m-” Your voice was so small as he turned and took a few steps, “Jeffy.”

He turned at the sound of your voice breaking, “Jeff...I’m pregnant.”

He went quiet and unmoving. Your hands were clenched at your side, not anywhere near your stomach, where the ghost of a bump was starting to form. Yet, his eyes drifted there anyway. You wished you knew what he was thinking. You almost wanted to laugh at how cruel all of this seemed. You and Jeff would’ve been happily married by now, living in the house with the white fence, and this wouldn’t have been such a shock. 

“I should-” He took a deep breath, still looking at your stomach, “I should go tell her to leave.”

“Jeff.”

“You can wait outside the door if you want,” He said, “I’ll change too.”

“Jeff.”

“Isn’t that way you came then?” He asked, turning back towards you, “To talk about this? To talk options.”

“I thought-you aren’t mad?”

“Jesus. No. We weren’t exactly the most sensible during those months. Not that I expected this, or wanted this for you. But...how are you?”

You weren’t sure how to answer. Too much was going on inside your head. You had no idea how you were, “I don’t know. I’m...I’m pregnant. I don’t know.” 

“How?” He took a deep breath, “How far along?”

“Far enough,” You stated. 

You could see him trying to do the math. He’d always been attentive. When you were still together he knew when to expect your period, and knew when you were late. You often wondered if he didn’t have it marked in his calendar so he’d know what to expect from you.

“Sometime either right before or not long after I left,” You answered the question you knew he was silently asking. 

“Give me five minutes, you can wait in the lobby if you want.”

“No, it’s okay...We can talk tomorrow,” You said, a weird sense of guilt washing over you. 

His face changed, something seemed to shift within him, “I turned you out into the cold once, Y/N,” He stated sadly, “I refused to listen. I won’t make that mistake again. So...please.”

You nodded slowly, knowing this was something the both of you needed to do tonight. Before either of you lost courage, or somehow decided this wasn’t a good idea at all. So you slowly followed him back inside, letting the warmth of the building overtake you. But rather than waiting in the lobby, you opted for the small sitting area at the other end of his floor, far enough away from his door that his friend wouldn’t see you. It seemed odd to you that you felt a pang of jealousy in your chest, he wasn’t yours anymore. 

Having his child didn’t change anything. You weren’t together. Even after all of the years you spent sleeping next to him, you had no claim to him anymore. Not after you walked out on him again. 

“You’re still here,” Jeff said a few minutes later, seemingly stunned by the fact you were right where he left you. 

“I told you I wouldn’t go anywhere,” You whispered, “But I guess I don’t blame you. I’m not always the best at keeping promises.”

He let out a small laugh, like it was meant to cover up the pain you knew you caused him, “I put a kettle on. You can still have tea, right?”

“I don’t think it’ll kill me.”

The apartment smelled clean, like he’d opened windows to air it back out. The pillows on the couch, which you were sure had been thrown, were back where they belonged. If you didn’t know any better you would’ve thought he’d just come home from a road trip and the apartment was cleaned while he was away.

“How are you, really?” He asked you. 

You sighed and started to play with your fingers, “Sick all of the time, and achy. I get these horrible headaches too, sometimes they’re so bad it’s hard to move,” You explained to him, “And I’m tired. God, I’m always so tired. Little thing is zapping everything out of me I guess.”

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” You could hear the guilt in his voice without even looking up, “I know this isn’t what you wanted. I’m sorry.”

You tried not to think back to the night your engagement ended. How different this conversation was to the one had that night. It seemed almost funny to you how different both of you had become since then. Both of you grew, but you had to grow apart in some ways. 

“You’re right….I didn’t want this,” You said softly, almost a whisper, “I never saw myself with kids. And to be honest I’m still not sure that I do see myself with them. But this is happening Jeff. And I haven’t really let myself think about it, but...I think I could want this.”

You tried to force down the wave of feelings that was building, “I never wanted the picket fence and swingsets and stepping on Legos all the time...and there’s still a big part of me that’s terrified of what’s coming. But then there are other days, when I’m in bed alone at night, or during the day when it’s quiet, that I just feel… I don’t know really. But I can see the picket fence, and the dirty diapers, and the little mighty mite hockey games down the road. And I think I’m excited, and happy. But I don’t know how to be, because I hurt you when I said I’d never want this, and now I-”

“Shh,” He pulled you into his chest, holding you as tightly as he dared to, “This is happening, it doesn’t matter anymore. If you want the picket fence then we’ll figure out a way to get that life back. But you won’t be doing any of it alone.”

“I don’t want you to feel like you have to do anything Jeff,” You admitted, “I don’t want you to feel like I’ve trapped you.”

He nearly laughed and gently grabbed your hands, “Funny, last year you were saying I was the one trapping you.”

“Jeffy-”

“Believe it or not, I’ve been hoping you’d come back since the second you left. This is just a little extra,” He shrugged like it was no big deal, “We’re in this together now. Now drink your tea, you look like you need it.”

“You bought more of this?” You said after taking a sip of the tea that you’d been drinking for years. 

His back was to you as he fixed a cup for himself, “Like I said, I kept hoping you’d come back.”

Your chest hurt. He didn’t seem to miss you all that much, but you knew he wouldn’t lie about something like that. One thing about Jeff was the fact that he had his heart on his sleeve, always had. From the moment you met him during his rookie year, you knew that. You tried not to let tears burst forward. Now was not the time for that. 

“I’m-” You swallowed the large lump in your throat, a hand wandered down to your stomach, “I’m sorry I took so long.”

“You look like you’re about ready to drop,” He stated, “You’re free to steal some of my clothes and make yourself at home. I don’t want to send you back out into this snow, it’ll only get worse.” 

You nodded slowly and made your way to his room once you finished your tea. Not much had changed in the short time since you’d last been in here, other than the fact that he’d replaced the bedspread like you suggested to him. 

For a second you allowed yourself to close your eyes and see the life he could obviously see so clearly. For as long as you could remember, your future never looked clear to you. You couldn’t see things the way he could, you only saw yourself as you were in that moment. 

Yet, you could almost see the two of you cuddling a small baby. You could see him teaching them how to skate when they were old enough. Maybe in a couple of years, you could have another. He always wanted more than one, you knew that. 

You pulled out a pair of sweatpants from one of his drawers, you knew normally they’d be too big, but you were already starting to put on some extra weight. You pulled your sweater over your head, catching sight of your reflection on the mirror that hung on the back of his closet door. 

You didn’t look pregnant, and aside from being unbelievably sick half of the time, you didn’t feel pregnant. Yet, even still, there was the smallest swell of your stomach, to anyone else it would just look like you were bloated. Had too much bread, or ate too much and had a food baby. But you knew...you knew. 

You stepped closer to the mirror, dropping your sweater on the bed. You hadn’t really allowed yourself to really think about any of it. You blocked out most of your doctor’s appointment, all you had to know was that the baby was healthy. The rest just sort of got blurred out.

So you stood, sideways so you could really get a look. You knew it would get bigger in the coming weeks. You wouldn’t be able to hide it anymore, everyone at work would know. You’d have to call and tell your family for sure, and Jeff….he would have to tell his family too. 

You were going to have his baby. For better or worse, you two would be parents. 

“Do you want any-” Jeff fell silent at the sight of you gently holding your stomach. 

You didn’t move, as if you didn’t even hear him. He leaned against the doorframe and watched you. Your eyes were glued to your reflection, so deep in thought you had no idea of your surroundings. He knew you didn’t want kids, but he also knew you’d be an amazing mom. He’d known that for years, he remembered watching you with his teammate’s babies over the years, and just how wonderful you were with them. He never would’ve forced you to have a family, but he couldn’t wait to see you with this child. 

He knew you were scared, hell he was terrified. He didn’t know how to be a dad, he didn’t know the first thing about pregnancy, or what the two of you were going to be once this was all over. But he knew he was excited to be a dad. He might not have been ready, and this wasn’t how he planned it all to be, but he was ready.

He took a step towards you when he noticed your shoulders started shaking as you fought off tears. He wouldn’t pretend to know what was going on inside your head, but he knew that you needed him. Even if you wouldn’t admit it, you needed him. 

“I’ve got you,” He pulled you into his chest, not even skipping a beat. 

“I’m pregnant,” You finally felt the full force of the situation hitting you. 

You were going to be a mom. This wasn’t something you could avoid, you were having a baby. You were responsible for a human life. Your body shook against his as you cried. You couldn’t figure out if you were happy now or not. As much as you never wanted a child, you did want this. You wanted the picket fence life with Jeff. You wanted this baby that was growing within you. The little blob on the pictures. The blob that was changing your life already. 

“Jeffy, we’re having a baby,” You sobbed.

He held you, not quite knowing if he needed to try to calm you down, or cry with you. He carefully pushed you back towards the bed and pulled you into his lap. Without even realizing it, you grabbed his hand and put it on your stomach. His touch was calming to you, always had been. 

He was one of the only people who could calm you down during the worst storms...this was another storm. Just a different kind of storm.

Two weeks later, you were splitting your time between your apartment and Jeff’s. He wanted to spend as much time with you as he could. There were very distinct lines that had been drawn, and the two of you tried desperately not to cross them. For the sake of your baby, you tried not to toe them, tried not to be anything but friends with him. But you wanted to be close to him all of the time. 

Keeping distance when his teammates were around though, was hard. Jack knew, not only because you told him, but because Jeff did as well. As for your families, you didn’t yet know how you were supposed to do that. You weren’t sure how either of your families were going to react to the news. But you’d worry about that later.

Because right now you and Jeff were curled up in his bed, his hand resting on your belly, which was slowly getting bigger. You were almost to the point where you couldn’t hide it anymore. Your larger sweaters were almost too small. The thought almost excited you, you felt like you were ready to show off. 

Jeff was fast asleep next to you, but didn’t dare to let go of you. This was how it was when you stayed with him. You couldn’t deny that you felt safer in his arms, you always had. You slept better too.

It was a sharp pain that ripped you from your peaceful sleep. You let out a cry as it ripped through you again. Jeff was sitting up in an instant, reaching over to turn on the lamp on the nightstand. You nearly screamed when you moved the blankets away and saw red. No sound would come out though, only tears as you couldn’t take your eyes off from it. 

Jeff was moving as soon as he saw it. He tugged on a shirt and grabbed an extra pair of pants for you, the thickest pair of sweatpants that he owned, and a sweatshirt. You barely moved as he carefully put them both onto you, all you could do was hold your stomach. 

“It’s too much,” You mumbled, almost in a trance, “Jeff there’s...it’s too much blood.”

“Shh,” He tried to quell your fears, and tried to force down his own, “We’re going to get you to the hospital okay? It’s going to be fine.”

But how could it be when you could practically feel that perfect life slipping away from you. Bit by bit, you could see it all falling away. You said nothing as he drove you to the nearest hospital. You only cried and winced with each new bit of pain. You knew what this meant...you knew it was over.

Jeff tried to reach over for your hand, if only to try to comfort you and make sure that you knew you weren’t alone. But you shied away from him. He would blame you for this. You didn’t want the baby in the first place, surely this was your fault somehow. 

You felt almost numb.

You fell asleep shortly after the doctors finished running tests. They were able to stop the bleeding, but didn’t yet know what your condition was. All you could do was sleep. Jeff was pacing in the halls, having been asked to wait until the doctors were done with you. He’d been promised a nurse would come for him, but he just wanted to be by your side. He promised you wouldn’t be in this alone, and he felt like he was abandoning you. 

He wanted to call his parents and beg for help, but they didn’t know. Most of the team didn’t know. Neither did your family. The two of you were alone in this for now. He was alone in this...and you were alone. For as long as they kept him away. 

“Mr. Skinner?”

Jeff’s movements stopped as he saw the doctor coming towards him. His breath halted, he knew just as well as you did what the outcome was going to be. Even he knew that was too much blood no matter the stage you were in. You were past the point where spotting was normal, and that was far from spotting. 

He tried to brace himself, he tried to come to peace with it. Even if it was only so that he could be strong for you. He knew you were excited, you wanted to take daily pictures of your growing bump so that you could show them off when the time came. You’d been so excited to find out what you were having at your next appointment, and made Jeff swear he’d be there. As if he would miss that appointment for the world. He caught you looking at nursery ideas on Pinterest. He knew you were ready for this now. And just as you’d come to terms with it, and allowed yourself to be excited about the baby, it was taken from you. 

“We stopped the bleeding, we’re still working to find the cause of it. But we’d like to keep them here at least overnight, so that we’ll be able to monitor both mom and baby,” The doctor explained. 

Jeff’s knees threatened to give out, “Both of them?” He tried not to hope. God did he try, but all he could do was think that maybe it wasn’t all gone. 

“The baby is fine, Mr. Skinner, as is Miss Y/L/N. We have her on fluids and we’ve given her some blood, but we’ll continue to run tests to find the cause,” The doctor paused when they truly saw the look on Jeff’s face and gently put a hand on his shoulder, “Your baby is just fine. Trying to kick up a storm by the looks of the last ultrasound.”

“They’re both okay?” Tears finally fell from Jeff’s eyes. He wasn’t able to hold them back any longer. He tried to prepare himself for the heartbreak that he thought was going to come, but he never considered that he might find relief by the end of the night, “They’re okay?”

The doctor smiled softly and nodded, “I’ll take you to her room. She’s asleep, but I’m sure you’d like to be there when she wakes up.”

Jeff sat by your side for hours, constantly looking over to the fetal heart monitor. Sometimes his hand would rest over your stomach, he couldn’t feel the baby but he knew it was there. That was enough for him. You began to stir quite a few hours later. Jeff was exhausted, but knew he needed to be awake when you finally came around. 

He sat straight up and held onto your hand tightly. You started silently crying almost instantly, thinking the worst had come to pass. 

“I’m sorry,” Your voice, though not above a whisper, broke. 

“Shh, you’re okay,” He kissed your hand, “Love, you’re both okay.”

At that exact moment, one of the doctors came in, rolling a large screen attached to a machine in with her. Your confusion didn’t go away as you addressed the room. You were hooked up to double the monitors, but that shouldn’t be the case. 

“Alright, time to check on how you’re both doing,” The doctor announced, “And, this time you’ll both get to see your baby.”

“I don’t understand I-” 

Jeff kissed your hand again, eyes brimmed with tears, “You’re both okay, Y/N. The baby is okay.”

You were released three days later. The second you got back into Jeff’s apartment you went to the couch. You’d been placed on bedrest, for the sake of you and your baby. You weren’t thrilled about it. It meant you had to be relieved from work for the time being, and you wouldn’t be able to go to any games or really go anywhere at all. But your baby was fine, healthy even. 

“She’s a fighter, like her mom,” Jeff said, catching you looking down at your belly. 

“She scared the living hell out of us,” You replied, “Listen here little miss, don’t do that again for a long time. You need to be gentle with me, I’m new to this.”

Jeff laughed softly and put down your bags before joining you on the couch. He wrapped his arms around you, allowing you to rest your head on his shoulder. The world seemed so different to both of you now. The three days spent in the hospital, you both realized the lines you’d drawn no longer mattered. There was you and him and the baby. Your little family.

“I still want to marry you,” He stated. 

“And I still want to be married to you,” You replied, “Just...after she comes.”

“I’ll hold you to that,” Jeff warned.

He put a hand on your stomach just in time to feel a tiny little kick. She wasn’t kicking with much force yet, but she was kicking. Jeff still couldn’t believe he was having a daughter. He declared that it was the only good thing to come out of the trip to the hospital. He got to see his baby for the first time, all ten fingers and toes. Got to see her little face, and point out the fact that she already looked so much like you. He didn’t know he could love something so much, without even having met her yet. But she was his, and she was yours. A perfect combination of the two of you, even if she wasn’t planned. She was still loved.

The coming days and weeks blurred together. You weren’t able to go anywhere. You did a lot of online shopping so you’d be able to put together a little nursery. Jeff had a spare bedroom that you’d use. Both of you decided not long after your trip to the hospital that you should stay there. Besides, home was always where Jeff was. Your little apartment was just a place you ran to, because you didn’t feel like you had a home anymore. You had more than a home now though. 

Jason came by a lot. He was finally able to meet Jeff, making Jeff realize Jason was really like a brother to you these days. Jason stayed a lot when Jeff was gone for games. He kept you company and called you at least everyday. He helped out a lot more than you ever expected him to. But he made you promise you’d grant him the title of Uncle Jase when the time came.

The news of the baby took both of your families by surprise. They didn’t know you two were still close. It nearly made you laugh when your parents went silent before your mom started screaming. Jeff’s family was a little more laid back, but even you could tell they were holding back. The sight of you and Jeff holding onto one another while showing them the pictures from the ultrasounds was too much for both sets of parents. Because the two of you were finally getting your happy ending. 

“What about Caroline?” Jeff questioned as the two of you sat trying to figure out a name. 

“Caroline? I thought you wanted a family name?” 

“I think that name is more important.”

“How so?” Confusion took over you. 

“For Carolina. We wouldn’t have met if I hadn’t been drafted by the Canes,” He clarified, “Or if you hadn’t gone to NC State.”

“Technically we met because you, Mr. Hotshot Rookie, showed up to the State Hockey House,” You laughed, “I was half drunk, but there you were with rosey cheeks and goofy smile.”

He laughed, “We played beer pong together, right?”

“You lost the game, and I threw up in the bushes.”

His laugh was loud as he recalled those events, “Ah college and the early years.”

You smiled and kissed his neck. Your little girl was kicking up a storm under Jeff’s hand. Her little movements followed wherever he moved, either with a foot or a hand. He’d play the game with her for hours, until she seemed to fall asleep. He’d poke where a foot was and she’d kick back. You already learned she seemed to like hockey, as she became more active when you watched it. Or maybe it was because you got more excited. 

Jeff would come home and give you both details about the game, his head was always by your belly so she could hear him better. Nights like that made you want to cry. There was a whole new world that the two of you were about to enter into and you couldn’t wait. You wanted to be able to hold the little girl you’d once been so afraid of. 

“She’s kicking a lot tonight,” Jeff whispered. 

“She likes it when you’re here. A daddy’s girl already,” You told him. 

“She’s already taken my heart, just like her mama,” He replied, “I love you, Y/N.”

“I love you too, Twirly Bird.”

Your daughter was born shortly after that night. A few weeks early, but she decided she just didn’t want to wait anymore. You and Jeff loved her from the moment her cries broke through the room. You named her Caroline afterall, agreeing that it was the perfect name. You and Jeff were married not long after. The wedding was small, nothing big. A year after Caroline was born, the three of you moved into a spacious house, big enough for more children. 

It didn’t take you long to realize you wanted more. You didn’t want it to just be Caroline. There was a large yard, big enough for a swingset and plenty of room for her to play when she was old enough. Her little feet padded on the hardwood floors all the time, constantly chasing after the dogs. 

But the best thing about the house, besides the fact that it was where your family was going to grow? The fact that you finally had a white picket fence with Jeff. After all of the bumps in the road, and the number of times you walked out on each other. You finally had the life that you never thought you wanted. But it turned out to be the life you didn’t know you needed.

[angryinternetduck]

When All Feels Lost Chapter Three: We'll Be Alright Nerves, fancy boas, a phoenix rising from the ashes. A princess is left on a cliffhanger, Harry's a dramatic Renoir painting, and you dive in headfirst. It won't be an easy ride, but you'll be alright. Warnings: Explicit language and more of the heavy topics from last chapter. about 8,000 words << prev chapter | series masterlist | general masterlist | ask ~*~ “You look nervous,” Harry murmurs into your ear as he appears next to you. His hand hovers at your waist, charm turned up high as he gives smiles and waves to the people walking into the theater.

You shrug, keeping your own smile on your face as you say, “Looks can be deceiving.”

“You’re gonna be great,” Harry tells you anyway.

“Sure hope so.”

Around you, the theater looks nothing less than glorious. All the lights are on, a warm golden against the deep burgundy of the walls and carpet. Diamonds glitter, shoes shine, dress hems flirt with the floor.

There’s a low hum of chatter from the masses of people filtering through the lobby and making their way to their seats. Lights in the chandelier hanging miles above you twinkle and clink as they shift in the soft breeze floating through the open doors.

Despite what you told Harry, he’s right; you’re nervous as hell.

Which makes sense. It’s opening night. Of course you’re nervous.

Your first scene is a few scenes into the second act, meaning you have plenty of time to help Harry greet everyone up front before heading backstage to get ready. It’s quite different than all of your previous opening night experiences, but it’s no less nerve-wracking. In fact, it’s significantly more nerve-wracking because of how much is riding on its failure.

A small man wearing a beret and large glasses catches your attention, and you nudge Harry so he sees him too. Harry nods, confirming your suspicions: that’s the critic from The New Yorker.

Harry wiggles his eyebrows at you.

Laughing slightly, you walk over to the critic and start to fiddle with your purse. He looks up, thick eyebrows furrowing at the sight of you. “Hello,” he says curtly, and you smile at him. “Hi,” you reply. “You’re here for Fatigue?”

“Yes.”

“A critic?” you go on.

“Yes.”

You clear your throat, slipping your hand into your purse. Lowering the small bag to waist height and glancing around to ensure no one’s looking your way, you murmur, “I’m a co-producer of this fantastic play...” You shift your fingers to show him a few hundred dollar bills. “And I’m sure your review will be nothing less than spectacular, correct?”

The critic scoffs, eyes widening, and he whips off his glasses in rage. “You dare attempt bribe me?” he hisses. “You think I, a critic of high moral and dignity, can be swayed by a few measly dollar bills?”

You struggle to hide your grin.

“I can assure you, madam,” the critic continues, “this review will be short and honest.”

“Oh, no,” you say.

The critic scowls at you, barks a crisp, “Goodbye,” and storms out of the theater.

Turning around, you meet Harry’s gaze and snap your fingers in a sarcastic oh, drats sort of fashion. Harry grins, and this time you don’t hide your own smile as you mirror his expression and walk back to him.

“Too easy,” you tell him.

Harry smiles. “And now we wait for, uh - Joe,” he says, reading an email on his phone.

“Joe,” you echo.

“Dziemianowicz.”

You blink. "What’d you just call me?”

Harry snickers and tilts his phone so you can see the name on the screen. Sure enough, it says Joe Dziemianowicz. “‘The esteemed critic from the New York Times,’” you read. “I’m sure he’ll love this.”

Harry shakes his head. “I certainly hope he doesn’t.”

“Right,” you say. “How do you know he won’t react like, uh - like The New Yorker guy?”

“Because I’m such a charmer,” Harry replies with a sweet smile.

You raise a brow. “And I’m not?”

“You are,” Harry says, shrugging. “When you want to be.”

“You flatter me,” you deadpan.

Harry grins. “I do try my hardest.” He points out a guy with a notebook under his arm, then tells you, “I’ll catch up with you later, yeah? Make sure D’Angelo’s not fainted yet.” He walks off, and you watch him for a second.

The plan is to get as many awful reviews as possible. Most of them should just come naturally - no one could watch the play and give it any positive comments at all - but you’re guaranteeing two of them to be absolutely horrific with bribes.

The critic you just attempted to bribe from The New Yorker should give some sort of irate nonsense about the dishonorable intentions of the producers of the surely terrible Fatigue. As for the fellow Harry’s heading for, his review will be more detailed in its critique. Harry’s goal is to actually bribe this Joe Dziemianowicz successfully - but for a bad review.

As Harry begins his explanation to Mr. Dziemianowicz, you slip through the crowds until you reach backstage, where D’Angelo is, in fact, on the brink of losing consciousness. He’s taking small sips of water from a glass in which you can see small pink feathers floating. They’re probably from the large pink boa he’s wearing over his suit, which is a slightly jarring green color covered in tiny pink butterflies.

“Angel,” you greet him, giving him a hug.

“Oh, Magenta,” D’Angelo replies woefully. “It’s a disaster. A complete and utter disaster.”

You sigh. “It hasn’t even started.”

“Oh, but when it does, it shall go down in flames.”

“And from the ashes shall rise a phoenix.”

D’Angelo gives you a faint smile. “I do adore you, darling.”

“And I you,” you say with a grin. “Come on, Angel, we have a play to put on.” You gently lead him through the dressing tables, where everyone’s getting ready. Someone glues orange lashes on while another person zips their dress; an actor expertly quiffs his hair in the corner with a loud can of hairspray.

“Your optimism… is inspiring,” D’Angelo murmurs, absentmindedly fixing someone’s collar as he passes. “That’s the goal,” you tell him, taking his glass of water from him when he holds it out to free both his hands. He takes a makeup brush and palette out of a girl’s hand and begins to brush some product on her face. She looks slightly startled, but doesn’t say anything.

“Where’s your Harry?” he asks as he works. “Charming the audience, I presume?”

You start to reply, stop, and then decide on, “Um… probably.”

“He certainly has a way about him, doesn’t he,” D’Angelo muses.

You clear your throat and look down, smiling involuntarily. “Yeah.”

D’Angelo sighs. “You must remember to keep your head up.”

Impulsively, you snap your chin up straight, then realize he’s talking to the girl whose makeup he’s doing. “And keep your voice up as well,” D’Angelo continues. “Project, my dear. You have a very pretty voice.”

“Thank you,” she whispers.

“Also,” D’Angelo adds, handing her makeup products back, “your blouse is inside out.”

Flushing through her makeup, the girl looks down at her blouse, which is, in fact, inside out. The tag waves at you from her neckline. She looks a bit horrified, and she hurries away to correct it as D’Angelo ambles on.

“Have you talked it out yet?” he asks. “With Harry?”

You frown. “Huh?”

“Oh, you know,” D’Angelo hums, giving you a lazy smile. “The ‘what are we’ talk.”

You’re too surprised to even reply, but D’Angelo takes your surprise for denial. “Oh, don’t play coy, Magenta. To steal the wise words of Miss Swift” - he clears his throat - “you could see it with the lights out.”

“Sometimes,” you tell him, “you’re just a bit too dramatic.”

He catches your eye. “Tell me I’m wrong.”

You hold his gaze. “You are.”

“Your acting talent is astounding,” D’Angelo murmurs, looking away.

“I think I preferred your hopeless talk of your failing play.”

His brows jump. “My failing play,” he echoes incredulously.

“Our failing play,” you amend.

“Go find Harry, darling,” D’Angelo tells you with a smile, “and stop bothering me.”

You grin. “If you insist. Break a leg, Angel.”

“I’ll break yours if you keep talking,” he says. “Run along, now.”

***

The theater, sweeping out below you in a magnificent blend of golds and reds, is truly breathtaking. You’re in the balcony seats reserved for you and Harry now, watching the chatter and buzz of the people below.

You nudge him and echo his words from earlier. “You look nervous.”

“I am,” he mutters.

“Don’t be.”

He laughs wryly, leaning forward and putting his head in his hands. “Gee, that fixes everything.” You sigh and sit back in the chair, looking down at the stage. “It’ll work. There’s no way it won’t.”

“I know,” Harry says softly, looking up.

There’s a beat of silence. You’re not sure what to say. Then the lights begin to dim, and Harry leans back again. In the darkness, you feel his hand find yours. He squeezes your hand, then lets go.

The conversation fades, and Charlie Manswell, playing Leopold Gray the retired FBI agent, walks out onto stage. He looks even more nervous than Harry does; you can see his hands shaking from all the way up here.

The play drags on. Neither you nor Harry says a word at all. Tension settles, heavy and dense, thickening in the air between you and Harry. An hour in, a group of people walk out. Low murmurs sound throughout the theater, and then it goes quiet once more.

You and Harry exchange a glance.

A few minutes before intermission, you go down to start getting ready for your part. Backstage, D’Angelo has calmed down significantly. He looks to be in a bit of a daze, holding his half-empty glass of water in both hands.

“Ah, Magenta,” he greets you when you say hi. “Just in time. Your costume’s over with Madeline… Stay away from the makeup, darling, Madeline will do it for you.” A smile teases the corners of his lips. “No more catastrophes, thank you…”

“I’ll try my best,” you reply, walking over to get changed. Your nerves intensify as you get dressed and made up. A swarm of butterflies turns your stomach over, adrenaline spikes through your veins, sweat gathers in your palms.

Standing in the wings just out of sight, you close your eyes and take a deep breath. The lights dim, the curtain lifts, and you open your eyes. Your gaze darts over the crowd, struggling to see anything through the bright lights.

It takes a second to process, but a grin’s breaking out across your face almost before you can fully form the thought: the theater’s practically empty. People must have walked out during the intermission, you realize with a quiet, giddy laugh.

Charlie, standing on stage, must have noticed too; his voice wavers just slightly through his first few lines. You feel a twinge of sympathy for him. Despite everything, you do feel terribly for all the actors who really are taking this seriously. They’ll still get their cut, though, if not a great review in the newspapers.

When you see your cue, you walk out and begin to act.

Ridiculously, it feels good to be on stage again. Even if it’s doomed to fail, if it’s a joke, if your already nonexistent reputation will almost certainly take a nosedive after this play even if it’s the best performance of your life.

The second half of the play goes much faster than the first. You’re taking bows before you realize, and you smile happily not because of rambunctious applause, but because of the few scattered claps you receive from the nearly empty audience.

Harry’s giving you a standing ovation from his box.

Backstage is quiet after the curtain falls. D’Angelo, surprisingly, is the most cheerful, popping around and giving everyone enthusiastic feedback. He’s exchanged his glass of water for a flute of champagne, which he sips at elegantly in between words.

“Wonderful job, darling, positively splendid,” he says to you, patting your cheek. To Harry, he adds, “And wonderful play, Mr. Styles. The reviews shall be the first of their kind.” A grin begins to spread across your face, and D’Angelo winks at you before whisking off to console someone crying by the mirrors.

“The first of their kind,” Harry echoes under his breath.

You laugh and reply, “He got that right.”

“Let’s get food,” Harry suggests. “I’m starved.”

Nodding, you tell him, “I’ll meet you at the diner,” and grab your stuff to change out of your costume. He walks off, saying goodbyes as he leaves. After changing into something more comfortable, you do the same, hugging D’Angelo goodbye and talking with a few people on your way out.

A Fleetwood Mac song is playing on the jukebox when you walk into the diner. Harry’s chewing french fries, staring out the window. He looks pensive, and you tell him that as you slide into the booth.

“I am,” he admits quietly. Then he tacks on, “Worried” like it hurts to say. “I’m worried.”

You bite your lip, watching him for a second. His eyes are downcast. “Your ringer’s on, right?” you ask, nodding at his cell phone. Harry nods, picking it up. “She’ll call,” he murmurs, sounding like he’s trying to convince himself.

“She will,” you assure him. It’s the company manager you’re talking about, who will hopefully decide that between the attendance - or lack thereof - and horrific reviews, she can’t keep your play open any longer.

“Ninety percent of the theater walked out,” you go on. “There’s no way they won’t close us.” Harry shrugs, leaning back and clearing his throat. “Er… yeah. Yeah.” He nods, an air of finality around him as if he’s done talking about it.

Tapping your fingers against the table, you hesitate for a second before speaking again. “Not to… pry or anything, but what happened with you and her?” you ask. “Gwen? The company manager?”

Harry’s brows jump. “What makes you ask that?”

A tad embarrassed, you shake your head. “Oh, it’s… nothing. Just with… Aurora… and what you said about, uh - Tanner Smith liking your old… girlfriend… presumably…” You laugh, a bit awkwardly. “But you don’t have to answer that. Sorry.”

“No, no, it’s fine,” Harry says. He shrugs, looking at his glass of water. “Yeah, we had a thing. It was a while ago. We, erm… We were pretty close.” A small smile curves his lips as he traces shapes in the condensation on the glass, and your gaze shifts to the window.

“We worked on a project, a big play we wrote together… Smith helped with that. She’s gorgeous, Gwen…” He pauses again. You regret asking. Finally, he clears his throat and goes on, “Er, but yeah, he took a liking to her. That’s really the only reason he still invests in anything, I think. He keeps hoping she’ll come back.”

He looks up, giving a wry laugh. “She won’t. Aurora scared her off. I brought her to the hospital and she kind of… It was too much. She was a little bit… she wasn’t very…” He clears his throat. “Nice with her. With - er, with Aurora…” His smile fades into something a little bit more genuine, and he meets your eye. “Not nearly as nice as you are with her.”

You frown.

Another bit of a pause, and he looks back at his glass. “But, erm… yeah, Gwen wasn’t a huge fan of the whole… taking-care-of-a-sick-child-in-the-hospital thing. She said all this stuff about commitment and not even wanting -” His jaw clenches, and he makes faint air quotes with his fingers as he mutters, “‘Normal kids’, much less a kid that…” He fades off. “I dunno. Wasn’t great. So.” He looks up and shrugs. “That’s that.”

“Wow,” you breathe. “I’m - I’m sorry. That’s awful.”

“Don’t be,” Harry sighs. “It’s over now.” He gives you a half-smile, popping a fry into his mouth. “I’ve gone and ruined the mood, haven’t I?” You shake your head and reply, “I asked.” You half-smile back at him. “If anything, it’s my fault.”

“If you insist,” Harry says. “Come on, tell me something good.”

You raise a brow. “Like what?”

He smiles big, nudging your foot gently under the table. “We’re going to Rio.”

You smile big too, because he’s not even kidding. You booked the tickets with him a few days ago. The plan is to get out of the country for a while until everything settles down. You’ll avoid a few calls, lay low, then come back to thousands of dollars and all your problems solved.

“I can’t wait to go to the beach,” you murmur, leaning back against the booth.

Harry hums in agreement. “You’ll love the view,” he says.

“You’ve been?” you ask.

Harry shakes his head, a stupid smile on his face. “Nah. But the view of me in my little yellow swim shorts can make up for any underwhelming scenery.” You scoff a laugh and echo, “Little yellow swim shorts?”

“They’re fantastic, darling,” Harry assures you with a big grin. “We’ll have to go shopping so we can match.” You nod, giggling despite yourself. “Forget the beach, I can’t wait for that.” Harry nods sagely. “It’ll be great.”

You crack jokes with him about his swim attire the whole way home.

The phone doesn’t ring once.

***

The second night is not nearly as exciting as the first. The lobby is empty. A few people filter in, but there were significantly more tickets bought than the number of attendees. As far as you know, there aren’t any more ticket sales, either.

You’re somehow even more uneasy than you were last night. Harry is, too. Nobody says anything. It’s just a bunch of nervous looks and heavy silence. Backstage is quiet, too. D’Angelo is the only one saying anything at all. His voice is lower, though, and even his orange boa seems to be a bit lifeless.

The play seems to take hours. People walk out. It’s getting a bit depressing - you realize that’s your goal, for the theater to be totally empty, but it’s really quite difficult to act to a nonexistent audience.

Backstage is quiet after the play, too. You get changed and walk out to meet Harry, brows jumping when you see him talking to a woman you don’t recognize. She’s tall and thin and blonde, sunglasses perched on top of her head. Her clothing is casual, just a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt.

“Hello,” you say hesitantly as you walk up to them.

“Hey, there,” the woman greets you. Bright blue eyes meet yours, and she smiles as she sticks her hand out for you to shake. Her nails are painted a light pink. You match her smile and shake her hand, introducing yourself.

“Nice to meet you,” she says. “I’m Gwen.”

Ah, you think. You steal a glance at Harry, who looks a bit tense.

You clear your throat. “I’ve heard so much about you.”

“Yeah,” she replies, laughing a little. “I, uh… Yeah. Well, uh, I was just starting to talk to H about Fatigue. And, um… I’m sorry, but I’m not sure you’ll be happy to hear our decision…” You look at Harry again, and he doesn’t meet your eye.

“That doesn’t sound good,” you say, because Harry stays quiet.

“Well, I think you’ve seen the reception,” Gwen says. “And there hasn’t been a single ticket sale since before it opened last night.” She sighs, a sympathetic look on her face as her gaze bounces between you and Harry. “I’m afraid we just can’t afford to keep it open any longer.”

“We understand,” Harry says, finally speaking up. His hand slides into yours, surprising you, and you watch Gwen’s eyes flick down to catch the action. “We’ll go tell everyone,” Harry goes on. “It was nice seeing you, Gwen.”

He leads you away, and you nod goodbye at Gwen a tad awkwardly over your shoulder.

“You okay?” you ask quietly once she’s out of earshot.

You see his jaw flex, but he doesn’t answer for a moment. He pulls his hand away from yours and runs it through his hair, and then, barely loud enough for you to hear, he says, “That was my sweatshirt.”

“Oh,” you say, wincing.

“I can’t believe her,” he mutters. “Christ.”

You pause a second, unsure what to say, then decide, “I’m surprised she didn’t just call.”

Harry just shakes his head. “It doesn’t matter. Let’s just… We’ll have to tell them. They should hear it from us.” You nod and murmur, “D’Angelo will be devastated.” Harry sighs, pushing open the door. “I’m sure he saw it coming.”

Everyone looks up when the two of you walk in.

As soon as D’Angelo sees your expressions, he finishes the last of his champagne in one gulp. He sighs, holding your gaze, and then speaks to Harry. “How’s your lovely Gwen doing, then?” he asks breezily, his easy tone a sharp contrast to his strained body language.

“I’m not sure,” Harry says quietly. “We didn’t talk much.”

D’Angelo hums lowly. “It’s not good news, I presume?”

“No,” you say. “No, it’s… it’s not.”

“Finished, are we?” D’Angelo asks.

Both you and Harry hesitate.

And then Harry answers, “Yeah.”

“I’m sorry,” you add weakly.

D’Angelo raises his empty champagne flute. “It was a valiant effort.”

There’s a beat of silence, and then everyone looks away and begins packing up their things. Low chatter breaks out, and D’Angelo slowly drifts over to the half-empty bottle of champagne in the corner. He inspects the label, swirls it around, and then takes a drink directly from the bottle.

Harry clears his throat next to you. “I was planning to go to the hospital,” he murmurs.

“Yeah, that’s a - that’s a good idea,” you reply with a nod.

You lock eyes, just for a moment, and then Harry turns away.

“I’ll meet you at the car,” he says, and walks off.

You say your goodbyes and follow Harry out.

***

“You’re… leaving?” Aurora gasps, eyes wide and beginning to glisten.

Harry squeezes her hand and tells her, “Just for a while.”

“A while?” she echoes, a tear rolling down her cheek. “But - but -”

“We’ll be back before you know it, princess,” you murmur from behind Harry.

Harry nods. “You’ll blink and we’ll be back.”

Aurora hiccups a sob, chin wobbling as her gaze darts between you and Harry. “But we’re almost done with - with Trumpet,” she whispers. “You can’t leave me on a - a hill - a hang - a rock -” She breaks off with another sob, pulling away from Harry to wipe at her nose with her little hand.

Your heart cracks in two. “A cliffhanger,” you whisper.

“You can’t leave me!” Aurora cries.

“We’re not, baby,” Harry insists, voice cracking. “I promise, we’ll be back.”

Aurora sniffles, crossing her arms over her chest and stubbornly looking at the other end of the room, away from either of you. “Just go,” she whimpers. Harry reaches out, and she jerks away, closing her eyes as tears fall faster.

“We’ll be back,” Harry promises again, voice barely audible.

“Go away!” Aurora sobs, and she burrows under the blankets.

Harry opens his mouth to speak, looking hopeless, and you place your hands on his shoulders. “Come on,” you say softly. “She’ll come around. We’ll call her. FaceTime.” Harry closes his eyes, just for a second, and then stands up.

“We’ll… we’ll be right back,” he murmurs.

No response.

“I love you, okay?” he tries. “And I promise… I promise we’ll be… right back…”

Still nothing.

Harry wipes his face and clears his throat. “Bye, Aurora,” he whispers.

Aurora just sniffles again, pulling the blanket further over her head.

Gently, you take Harry’s hand and guide him out.

“It’ll all be worth it,” you tell him, squeezing his hand.

Harry nods and squeezes your hand back, silent.

***

Everything’s packed.

The money has been transferred to several offshore accounts, safe to stay unnoticed until everything’s settled down and you and Harry can start slowly shifting it back into your own accounts.

The plane ride is a bit tense. Harry brought a deck of cards, of course, and you trade magic tricks and play games of Go Fish and Gin Rummy. He chews gum and you giggle watching him attempt to blow bubbles.

It’s hot in Rio. Harry holds your hand as you navigate the airport and the buses to your hotel. It’s a relief to finally arrive, to collapse onto the big fluffy bed and sprawl out in the glorious air conditioning.

The first night, the two of you order room service and eat dinner while watching TV.

And the phone. You watch the phone, too.

Every so often, your gazes will both drift to the phone at the same time, and you’ll catch his eye and give a half-smile. You’re waiting for a call from an investor, of course, demanding where their money is and why the hell they haven’t been able to reach you.

In reality, there’s no way they’ll think of you. The play has probably already been forgotten. Individually, each person gave such a small amount that they probably forgot about it days after they signed the papers. To think that they’d not only remember your play but that they’d be angry that you lost their money is ridiculous.

There’s no way.

It’s silly to think about, really, and whenever you find yourself worrying, you take a breath and think about how mind-boggling your situation is. You’re in a hotel room in Rio de Janeiro that’s almost as big as your entire apartment.

The hotel room you’re in is large. It’s a suite. The bathroom’s ginormous, the closet’s practically just as big, and the desk is a rich, dark oak color fit with huge drawers and a bright lamp. There are two small couches situated in front of the windows, right in front of the door to the little balcony just outside.

Huge windows look out over the glittering city, and far in the distance, you can see the Christ the Redeemer statue. Twinkling lights wink at you, brightly colored in the pitch-black night. Trees sway in the light breeze, and the softest sound of music can be heard even as far from the city as you are.

In a suite as big as this, there are two beds. Harry falls asleep in the same bed you do anyway, on the opposite side. You don’t think about it until the next morning when you realize both of you somehow gravitated to the middle, and you’re curled into his side with your head on his chest.

The sound of birds wakes you up. You’re struck with the oddest of feelings; everything is just so surreal you’re not even sure where to begin. It’s so much more pleasant than it should be to just lay there, reveling in how content you are nestled up to this guy you used to despise with all your being.

Then, suddenly, your heart begins to ache, because you realize you haven’t gotten around to letting him know just how much your feelings towards him have changed. Nothing’s happened since that kiss, and it hurts.

It hurts just to think about it, and being right next to him like this isn’t helping. You roll out of bed, wash your face with cold water, push all of those thoughts out of your mind. It’s not worth the stress.

Harry stirs as you brew a cup of coffee, sitting up and running a hand through his hair with his eyes still half shut. “Smells good,” he mumbles, voice heavy with sleep. “Coffee,” you tell him, lifting your now full cup. “Want some?”

He nods, stretching up towards the ceiling before flopping back down. “Mhmm.”

You start another cup, then turn around and lean on the dresser, watching him while you take a hesitant sip of your scalding coffee. You can see his chest rising and falling gently, and his swallows peek out of his white t-shirt. He’s on his back, head to the side, morning sunlight reflecting through the trees by the window and splashing over his face like he’s in some dramatic Renoir painting.

The coffee maker sputters to a stop. You blink, feeling like an absolute creep for just staring at him like this, and hurriedly turn around to grab the cup. Harry sits up as you walk over, and after handing him his cup, you sit on the edge of the bed, crossing your legs and cradling your warm coffee in both hands.

He takes a sip, and his eyes flutter shut blissfully. “Bloody hell,” he sighs.

“Jesus,” you laugh. “It’s not that good.”

He pouts at you. “It’s fucking incredible.”

“Guess it’s those Brazilian nuts.”

Harry grins. “Damn right,” he says.

He holds your gaze for just a second, smile still in his eyes, and you have to look away.

Standing up, you clear your throat and turn to look out the window. “We should… go somewhere, or… something,” you say. There’s a beat of silence, and then he laughs, just a little, and you’re looking over at him again before you can stop yourself.

“What?” you ask, and you can’t stop yourself from smiling, either.

He giggles at you. “I - we’re in Rio, and you think we wouldn’t go somewhere?”

You scoff, shaking your head as your face heats a bit. “Hey, I don’t know!”

“Sorry, sorry,” he tells you, still smiling, and he stands up and runs his hands through his hair as he stretches again. “We can take a walk,” he suggests. “Get to know the place.” You nod, looking down into your coffee.

“Sounds good,” you say.

***

“It’ll have six bedrooms.”

Harry grins. “Eight bathrooms.”

“Twelve kitchens.”

“Fifteen pools.”

“Twenty - uh… Twenty… fireplaces…?”

Harry laughs, shaking his head, and takes your hand, swinging it up and down. You’re walking along a beach, sand slipping under your flip-flops and sinking under your feet. You’ve just finished breakfast, and you feel perfectly content.

“I’ve always wanted to build my own house,” Harry says.

“Missed opportunity in construction?”

Harry frowns and amends, “Er - well, more design my own house.”

You nudge his hip, smiling. “Think you’d look good in one of those orange hard hats.”

“Thought you’d prefer something else that’s hard…”

You scoff a laugh. “Wow. Coming on strong for ten in the morning.”

“Sorry,” Harry laughs. “Too much?”

“Maybe just wait a few more hours. Let me get something better than coffee in me.”

“Asking me to get you drunk?”

You just shrug, grinning at him.

“I’ll take you up on that,” Harry says.

There’s a beat of silence, and you watch your hand, intertwined with Harry’s, still swaying back and forth. The waves gently crash against the shore, birds chirping away in the distance.

After a second, you clear your throat. “So,” you say, “you kissed me.”

Harry gazes off at the water. “Did I?”

You stop walking. You open your mouth to reply, then close it again.

He looks at you, and there’s a smirk on his lips. “Don’t remember that,” he says.

You’re not sure how to respond. Hurt rushes through you, then anger, confusion, and -

“I think I’ll have to do it again,” he goes on. “See if it rings any bells.”

Relief floods your body. You smile, just slightly. “Right,” you breathe. “Guess you will.”

He kisses you, softly, hand cupping your cheek gently. He touches you gingerly, like you’ll break, like you’ll pull away, like he’s a little scared. So you’re the one to lean into him, you’re the one to slide a hand onto the nape of his neck and pull him closer, grinning against his lips and giggling when he smiles too.

“You’re a bastard for that,” you tell him when you pull away, a bit breathlessly.

“For what?” he asks innocently.

You roll your eyes. “Pretending you didn’t remember.”

“Sorry,” he says, kissing you once more.

He takes your hand, starting to walk again, letting silence linger for just a second. He’s looking at the sand, smile fading away. He looks like he’s in deep thought, and you squeeze his hand. “You okay?”

He looks up at you and smiles just a bit. “Yeah,” he says. “Yeah. I’m just thinking… You know, erm… I don’t want to pressure you,” he tells you, his voice lowering as he stops again to face you fully. “I, er… I know the original plan was to - you know, go our separate ways after… after all this. And it’s… It’s a lot, I know -” He laughs softly. “Christ, I’m a lot, just with Aurora, and the theater, and…” He fades off, running a hand over his face. “Er… But yeah. I just… I wanna let you know that I’m not… pressuring you to stay, or anything… We can stick to the - the plan.”

“No,” you say immediately, and then feel a bit self-conscious. “I mean… I don’t want to. I really…” You give him a smile. “I really like you. And Aurora. And it’s a lot, yeah, but… I don’t care. I don’t mind. I love all of it. I -” You falter, then, “I mean - I like - I -”

He raises a brow at you.

So you bite your lip, then dive in headfirst. “I love you,” you say.

“Love you too,” he replies with a big smile, and he kisses you.

***

It’s hours later, now, and you’ve wandered into some restaurant by the beach.

The bar is loud, crowded, and thrumming with music in Portuguese. Somebody’s singing from a big stage in the back. Your hand is firmly in Harry’s, walking next to him through the mass of moving bodies. A warm breeze heavy with ocean air flows through huge open windows, colorful lights shining in the dark.

When you finally make it to the counter, Harry gestures vaguely at something on the wall to the bartender, and you point at the drink of the person next to you. You glance at each other, shrug, and watch as the bartender mixes and shakes up a bunch of mysterious liquids.

Your final result is bright blue, like the one the girl next to you just finished. Harry’s is pink and green. With laughs neither of you can hear over the noise, you clink your glasses against each other and take sips.

Harry’s nose wrinkles. “Sour,” you see him say.

Yours is extremely sweet, and you make an eh motion with your hand and hold it out to him. He takes it and gives you his, and you try his as he tries yours. Your nose must wrinkle like his did, because he grins and hands yours back.

You shake your head, though, and look around for someone who has a drink you’d actually like to have. When you spot someone downing a shot glass full of what looks like water but clearly isn’t, you point that out to the bartender along with two fingers.

A few shots later, you’re buzzing, dancing with Harry amid the mass of people on the dance floor. The music’s so loud, electrifying the air around you. It seems like you’re being shifted towards the front of the room, and before you know it, you appear to be on the raised platform all the way at the front.

Bright lights hit your face, making you giggle and squint. People start clapping, Harry spins you around, and everyone cheers. There’s a screen directly in front of you. You walk up to it, practically dragging Harry with you, and realize it’s a song bank - and there are microphones on the table next to it.

“Karaoke!” you shout at Harry.

He grins and starts flicking through the song choices. When you see one you like, you reach out and tap the screen, pointing at it. Harry laughs and nods excitedly, clicking it. Immediately, the music changes.

On cue, you and Harry come in.

“Yoooo, I’ll tell you what I want, what I really, really want -”

It’s not in Portuguese, but nobody seems to mind, and they give you rambunctious applause regardless. You and Harry can barely get the words out for how much you’re laughing and giggling at each other’s dance moves and crazy singing. He spins you around again, you spin him, both of you trip on the mic wires at least three times. As the song ends, he dips you, kisses your nose, and then stands up so both of you can take big bows.

You’re breathless by that point, and you stumble off the stage with Harry as someone else takes the mic. On some unsaid agreement, you both keep going out of the restaurant and back onto the beach towards your hotel.

With your fingers tangled in his and chests heaving, you walk all the way back to the hotel. It’s pretty close, and when you arrive, the two of you lean against the door and grin at each other, hearts still racing.

Harry kisses you, then, hand sliding against your cheek and lips smiling against yours. The wood of the door is cool against your back, and it’s not because of the hot Brazilian air that you’re warming up again.

He pulls his shoulder off the door, almost pinning you against it as your smiles fade and your kisses become more desperate. You want more, more, more; want him closer, closer - even closer - and with fumbling fingers you shed the clothes that separate you as you lurch towards the bed.

It’s warm, in Brazil, so warm, and you’ve never felt a greater thrill.

***

The next morning, after grins and kisses and coffee, the phone rings.

Harry glances at you, then picks it up.

“Hello?” he says. Then, “Yes, this is he.”

He’s quiet for a while. He fiddles with his lip.

“I know,” he says. “Right. Right, I know. Don’t worry… Yes, expect a call soon. Won’t be from me, no, but… No… Yes, of course, I… Fantastic. Great talking with you. Expect that call! Bye, bye now.”

He hangs up.

“Investor?” you ask.

He nods.

You open your mouth to say something, then stop.

“Don’t worry about it,” he tells you, starting to smile. “They’ll never remember. One call, that’s all. That wasn’t even the guy himself - it was his assistant. We’ll be buried under hundreds of other things to do. I’ve had to remind people, you know, even on plays that do well. They always forget.”

You’re not quite persuaded, but he comes over and squeezes your shoulder and says, “It’ll be alright” so convincingly that you can’t help but believe him. You nod, taking his hand, and let him lead you out to the balcony, where fruit and warm bread are waiting for you.

Over the next few weeks, only a couple of calls come in. Harry handles them, uses that same calming tone, and says basically the same thing each time: expect a phone call, sorry for the delay, don’t worry about it.

You sit back and distract your racing heart with the beautiful sights, sounds, and food.

***

Harry makes some killer pancakes. After living with him for months and months, you’ve had more than your fair share of his fluffy, buttery pancakes. And while you’d be the first to crown him the best pancake maker in New York, his pancake breakfasts have absolutely nothing on the Brazilian breakfasts you’ve had since you’ve gotten to Rio de Janeiro.

Nevertheless, it’s a few weeks later, and you’ve awoken to the scent of bacon.

“What are you doing?” you ask incredulously, following your nose to the small kitchenette in the hotel suite. “Pancakes!” Harry exclaims, flipping around to brandish his teeny frying pan at you.

“Oh, Harry,” you sigh, taking a tiny pancake from the pile anyway.

Harry turns back around to busy himself with his task. “Listen,” he begins seriously. “I’m aware of how good the food here is. We’re had right scrumptious meals here -” You giggle through a bite of pancake and interrupt, “You’re right scrumptious.”

“Shush,” Harry says, but you can see him dimpling from behind him. “What I mean to say is that I was bored, so don’t blame me for the American food.” You frown at his back. “Bored?” you echo.

You’ve hardly been sitting around doing nothing, you think at first, but then as you think about it more, you… kind of have. The two of you were on a good run the first few days, going out every day and finding a new sight to see. Three weeks in, though, it’s a lot more tempting to just stay in bed all day and lounge around in the sunshine.

“Yeah,” Harry replies now as he turns to face you. “I’m getting antsy.”

“Find an anteater.”

He pouts.

You smile apologetically at him and hold up a little pancake. “Delicious.”

“Thanks,” he says.

You bite your lip, leaning back in your chair as your brain slowly wakes up. “How about… a picnic?” you suggest. “We could go down to the beach again and bring a basket - make it all aesthetic and pretty!”

Harry points his spatula at you. “That’s the spirit!”

“You can pack the basket,” you say.

He frowns. “Maybe try a different spirit.”

“How about - I don’t pack it, and you pack it!”

“That’s… the same spirit.”

“I’ve never believed in ghosts anyway,” you tell him, and you stand up, sliding your plate into the sink. “Have fun!” you say, patting him on the chest as you pass him “And pack some fruits, Styles. Let’s stay healthy.”

“Let’s,” Harry echoes, grumbling, “as in let us. Let us pack the basket.”

“You’re such a gentleman,” you call.

He is, really, he is a gentleman, because he packs it despite your later offers to help and then presents you with a ginormous sun hat when you appear fully changed. You put it on, and when its brim droops over your forehead, you say, “Hey, it flops, just like all of your plays!”

“Oh, fuck off,” Harry scoffs, but he’s laughing so he can’t be too insulted.

It’s gorgeous by the water, unsurprisingly, and you feed each other strawberries and sip sparkling water while you chatter away about nothing. You drift closer and closer until you’ve forgotten all about the view of the sunset for strawberry sweet kisses, and you both decide to call it a day and head back for the hotel.

You see him fiddling with his phone as you step out of the bathroom, changed after your shower, and your smile dims a little as you realize what he’s thinking. “We should try again,” you tell him, and he looks up, looking conflicted.

You’re talking about Aurora, about calling her, because she hasn’t picked up the last twenty times you’ve tried. Harry’s talked to her nurses, who say she’s doing relatively well health-wise but not great with everything else. She misses them, the nurses say, but she’s still angry.

“Come on,” you say, plopping down next to him on the bed and gently sliding his phone out of his hands. You move slowly, giving him the opportunity to stop you, and then hand it to him before pressing the call button.

He gives you a smile. “Hundredth time’s the charm.”

And lo and behold - he’s right.

“You gotta come back,” Aurora says as soon as she picks up. “I had a dream about the little swan last night, Harry, you gotta come back! I need to know what happens!” Harry breathes an incredulous laugh and clears his throat.

“I - er, yeah, Ror, of course,” he says. “Soon.”

You pop into the camera view for a second, wiggling your fingers, and Aurora gives a shy smile. “Hi,” she says, sounding a little guilty. “Sorry for not… picking up.” Harry glances at you, and you reply, “Don’t worry about it, princess.”

“We’re still sorry,” Harry adds.

Aurora pouts, looking down, and mumbles, “Should be.”

“Just a few more weeks, Ror,” Harry tells her, his voice weak.

She huffs a little bit and then glances up again. She moves around a little bit, peering into the camera like she’s trying to look behind you. “Where are you guys, anyway?” Harry smiles and exclaims, “Brazil!”

Aurora still looks confused. “Well, where’s that?”

“Remember when we went to Disney World for your birthday?” Harry asks, and when Aurora nods, he goes on, “Right, well, it’s like if you went there, then kept going for a few hours until you heard Portuguese.”

Aurora blinks, then chirps, “Okay!”

“How’re you, princess?” Harry asks. “Any drama we should be aware of?”

“Oh, so much,” Aurora gushes. She starts her story, and as the air warms with her voice, Harry’s hand slides into yours and you begin to relax. Through the end of the phone call, you and Harry can barely keep the smiles off your face.

***

You stay in Brazil for a long time. After it’s been two weeks without a single call from any of the investors, you decide to pack it up. Back home, it’s totally quiet, like nothing ever happened. It’s still scary, though, and the plane ride back is mostly quiet. You’re cautious driving through town, peeking into the theater, greeting people as you walk into Harry’s apartment.

It only takes a look to agree on where to go first after dropping everything off in the apartment, and you’re at the hospital in no time with a huge bag of souvenirs. You’re both greeted with huge smiles and hugs all the way to Aurora’s room.

Aurora’s asleep when you walk in, and Harry gives you a bit of a nervous look before approaching and kneeling down beside her to gently place a kiss on her forehead. She wakes up slowly, blinking blearily before processing Harry in front of her and gasping and throwing her arms around his neck.

“Harry!” she squeals, hugging him tightly. With wide eyes, she looks up, then exclaims your name and you walk over to give her a hug of your own. “You’re back!” she says happily, glancing between the two of you excitedly.

“We sure are,” you tell her.

Harry nods. “We missed you, princess.”

“Missed you too,” Aurora replies.

You clear your throat and bring the small present from behind your back. “We have something for you,” you tell her, handing the little white bag to you. Aurora laughs delightedly, clapping her hands and crinkling the tissue paper inside before pulling out the gift.

“Oh…” she breathes. “Pascal!”

It’s not exactly Pascal, Rapunzel’s pet in Tangled, but it’s a little stuffed toy of a chameleon you found with Harry in some gift shop in Brazil and you figured Aurora would like him. “Told you I’d bring you a Pascal one of these days,” you say with a wink.

“I, of course,” Harry begins with a dramatic sigh, “am completely against this gift.”

Aurora breaks out in giggles.

“... So I had to get you something else,” Harry finishes. He hands her his own gift, a sparkly pink bag with two things inside. Aurora is enthralled with the delicate tiara, and Harry makes a whole production of crowning her princess of all of New York.

The second gift is a small snow globe, but glitter rains down on a beautiful beach scene rather than snow when Aurora flips it upside down, eyes wide with wonder. “I love it,” she says, voice a little quiet in awe.

“We won’t have to leave again,” Harry promises softly.

Aurora looks up, lowering the globe to her lap. “Please don’t,” she says.

Harry smiles a little, then squeezes her hand and stands up, sliding The Trumpet of the Swan off its spot on the table. “Hope you didn’t read any without us,” he sighs, settling down in his spot on the sofa.

Happily, you curl up next to him, just as pleased as Aurora to be continuing the story.

***

Back at the apartment the next day to finalize some paperwork, your phone begins to ring. It’s an unknown number. Glancing at Harry nervously, you pick it up and wander over to the window as the voice on the other end begins to talk.

Your heart drops as you realize what’s happening. It’s someone from another company, asking you to audition for a play they’re starting to work on. Apparently, someone had seen your performance in Fatigue and thought you were wonderful. They couldn’t believe you were working with such a shit producer, they said, and would you like to join their company?

“Yes!” you say immediately, a little too excitedly. “I mean - yes. Please. Thank you.”

They give you the details, and with a still racing heart, you turn around and see Harry, working on some papers at his desk, looking very confused. Your eyes widen. “Oh my God,” you say, realizing what you’d just done.

“You alright, love?” he asks, sounding a bit amused.

You clear your throat. “Um, I just agreed to audition for another play?”

His brows jump, and he comes around his desk to wrap you in a hug. “Bloody hell!” he laughs. “Congratulations! That’s great - did they say when auditions are? Is it close by? What theater?”

You sputter a laugh, surprised at his reaction, and start, “Well, I… I mean… Are you okay with this? Did you want me to stick with you?” Harry scoffs, shaking his head. “Absolutely not. You’re too good for me. My producing days are over.”

“Really?” you ask, startled.

He leans against the desk, shrugging slightly. “Well… yeah. I mean, my record hardly suggests greatness, you know? I’ll find something else.” He grins, wiggling his brows, and adds, “Maybe I’ll go into writing. I certainly know what to avoid.”

“That would be great!” you exclaim. “Harry Styles, writer-producer extraordinaire!”

“Damn right,” Harry tells you, and he kisses you. You lean into him, hand sliding into his hair, and he whispers, “This desk hasn’t been broken in yet.” You snicker, about to reply, when your hand grazes a stack of papers and you sigh, pulling away. Harry whines, puckering his lips and smooching at you.

“We have paperwork to do,” you tell him.

He pouts. “You’re no fun.”

“After,” you say, giving him one last kiss.

“Maybe we can multitask,” Harry muses, turning around anyway and starting to shuffle some papers. “It takes you about a million years to finish a document when I’m not distracting you,” you reply, stealing a pen from his cup.

“Reckon I just need practice,” he says as you collapse on the sofa. You sigh, smiling despite yourself as you click your pen, shuffle some papers, and get to work. “Sure, Styles,” you say.

***

Two nights later, you’re sitting on the floor in the hallway of the hospital.

Beside you, the vending machine hums lowly. It harmonizes with the fluorescent lights buzzing on the ceiling, which are so bright they make your head hurt even when you close your eyes. Every few minutes, the lights flicker just slightly. Just enough for you to notice.

Harry dusts his hands off, reaching up to toss his candy wrapper into the trashcan. Like yours, his legs are stretched out in front of him. His hands are folded in his lap, head rested against the wall behind him.

He nudges your toe with his foot, shifting to look at you. He looks tired. When you meet his eyes, he starts to smile, lips curving slowly until he’s full on grinning, dimpling at you and laughing just a little.

“What?” you ask, unable to stop yourself from laughing just a little too.

He shrugs. “Dunno.”

You hold up the wrapper from the candy bar you just ate, peering at it, and tell him, “I wonder if it’s possible to get a sugar rush at one in the morning.” Harry takes it from you and pushes it into the trashcan.

“If you eat the entire vending machine,” he says, “probably.”

“I’m tired,” you whisper.

“What happened to the sugar rush?”

You take his hand, a bit delirious, and flip it palm up in your lap. “You’re gonna have a long life,” you say softly, tracing a random line on his skin. You start at his wrist, and follow a few lines up to one of his rings. “And be very stylish,” you continue, spinning a ring around.

“Why, thank you,” Harry says.

You smile at him. “You’re welcome.”

Harry touches the bottom of your chin with his finger, gently pushing up, and press his lips to yours. You relax at his touch, eyelids fluttering shut as his hand slides to hold your cheek, supporting you, grounding you, giving you butterflies.

Aurora’s sleeping in her room. Harry finished reading The Trumpet of the Swan just before she fell asleep. Earlier, while she went through tests and played, you and Harry filled out the proper forms for the procedure she’d need in a few months. It won’t be an easy ride, but she’ll be alright. And sitting on the floor, head rested on Harry’s shoulder and hand entwined with his, you get the feeling you just might be alright, too.

~*~ and there she is!!! all done!!! i'm gonna admit this chapter took SO LONG - i'm pretty sure i finished the first two chapters in like less than a month and this one took me. five months. BUT i got it done and i hit my word goal and i'm super proud of myself! honestly i'm just glad i got it out lmao. but i do hope someone out there enjoyed it, and if u did, a reblog and some feedback would be absolutely splendid <3

thank you for reading!!!!

masterlist | ask

[onechicagorpf]

Not A Stranger - Part 2

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader (Chicago Med intern)

Waking up in bed next to a random naked guy after a drunken night out usually sucks, but eh, whatever. you’ll never see him again, right? Well except this time, random naked guy turns out to be your ED attending’s little brother, so maybe you’re a little bit screwed…

Read Part 1 first here Read Part 3 here Read Part 4 here

Warnings: SMUT. Full-on, R-rated smut! Swearing, the usual cuss words. Dubious medical content, lol, because I don’t know a thing about medicine!

Your knuckles rap against the wooden door.

“C’mon, c’mon,” You whisper under your breath, your right leg shaking restlessly. Your heart feels like its in your throat, and you honestly feel like you’re about to pass out from either excitement or anxiety or both.

There’s soft footsteps on the other side of the door, and your back snaps straight.

Jay opens the door, a smile on his face, but his eyes quickly go wide once he sees you.

You don’t care.

You surge in, reaching out and cupping the back of his head, pulling him to you. You press your lips to his passionately, your other hand fisting his shirt. Jay’s hands land on your waist, the small of your back, and he’s almost tripping backwards by the force of you. In your head, you laugh at the fact that you’ve caught him off-guard, for the first time today.

You push forwards, moving further into the threshold of his apartment, still kissing him, but he stops. He grabs your arms and pulls away from the kiss, and you’re entirely confused.

Jay looks stunned and horrified, and you frown, opening your mouth to ask if you’ve made a mistake when you hear from further inside his apartment –

“Is that the pizza?”

You almost pass out.

Will.

Jay lets go of your arms and the two of you separate, putting a far-more-than-required distance between yourselves.

Jesus fucking Christ! The exact person I was trying to avoid! Does the universe just hate me?! What did I do to piss off God this much?! You’re screaming internally, and you kinda just want to rip your own hair out.

Will comes out of the kitchen, and you almost want to groan because he’s wearing a tee and basketball shorts and honestly, this is not how you want to see your attending. He looks fine, but you just feel like you’re seeing a version of him that you’re not close enough to meet yet, and it’s weird. Almost like this is exactly why the voices of your better angels were screaming at you to not sleep with Jay again?

Oh, and there’s also the fact that you’re really only here to blow his brother’s back out.

“Oh! Y/N?” Will’s brows are furrowed, and he freezes on the spot. “Is everything okay?”

“Uh…well,” You start, but your throat is dry and you’re not even sure what to say and you’re freaking the fuck out and –

“Actually, I invited her over.” Jay jumps in, and you turn to him, eyes wide, but trying to stay calm so you can play along. “We were chatting today at Med and she said she, um, wanted to talk to you and I thought you could…help her.” Jay says looking at Will, who turns back to you, concerned.

“Right, yes. I uh – I just, I keep thinking…about Toby Wilkerson. And his stroke. And about how I was this close to just not saying anything about his symptoms because I wasn’t sure, and he could’ve died.” You manage to get out, and my god do you feel like the worst doctor on the planet right now because the truth is you barely thought about Wilkerson since he got sent up to CT.

“Aw, that sucks. But trust me, every doctor’s been there at some point. Come on, let’s talk.” Kind Will, sweet Will, gestures to the couch and you throw your hands up, vigorously waving him off. “No, no, it’s fine I didn’t realise you guys were doing a thing and I don’t want to interrupt – ”

“Nah, don’t worry about that; we were just going to watch the Hawks game but – hey!” Will says suddenly, and you and Jay both look at him expectantly, immensely confused. “You’re a huge Hawks fan, right?”

Jay turns to you slowly, and you can see him begging you to say no, to just back out. Unfortunately, what he doesn’t know is that on your first day at Med, you came in wearing a Hawks scarf that Will pointed out, so you know there’s no way you’re getting out of this one.

“I…am, yes.” You manage to say without sighing deeply, which you very much want to do. Every second of this feels like divine punishment, perfectly crafted to suit your many transgressions in life.

“Alright, come on, let’s watch the game and then we can chat about Wilkerson during the intermissions.” Reluctantly, you and Jay make your way over to the couch and sit down. Right as the thought that this couldn’t possibly get worse passes in your head, Will obliviously plops down right between the two of you. At this point, you’re just pressing your lips against each other so that you don’t burst out laughing like a maniac at how perfectly ridiculous this all is.

Will leans forward to grab the remote and find the channel showing the Hawks game. You look over at Jay, on the other side. The younger Halstead looks back at you.

His eyes scan every inch of your body, from top to bottom, painfully slow like as if he’s mentally undressing you. Heat coils in your core and you swallow hard. Jay leans back against the couch and adjusts the crotch of his jeans subtly, but you notice. A small smile is on your lips, and you feel daring all of a sudden. Holding eye contact with Jay, you run your tongue over your bottom lip, getting it wet and glossy, before sucking it into your mouth.

“Okay!” Jay gets up suddenly, his voice loud. “I’m gonna – gonna go call the pizza guy and see where he’s at!” He goes straight to the kitchen, grabbing his phone on the way. You hold your laughter in.

“There we go,” Will says as he finds the right channel. “Hey, I’m gonna grab a cup of water, you want anything?” You ask and Will requests a beer.

Slipping into the kitchen, you see Jay’s got his back to you, and his arms are shoulder width apart, bracing the edges of the kitchen sink. His knuckles are ghost white, fingers clenching the sink like he’s trying to put a dent in it.

You line up right behind him, getting on your tip-toes so you can press a soft kiss to the back of his neck. Jay shudders, groaning, and you shush him.

“Keep it down,” You warn in a quiet whisper.

“How the fuck am I supposed to keep it down when you’re – fucking – ” Jay struggles, and you chuckle.

“When I’m what? Doing this?” You snake your right hand to the front of his body, letting your fingers softly – too softly – brush the front of his jeans. Jay bucks backwards into you involuntarily, swearing under his breath. His left hand grabs your wandering fingers and holds them as he struggles to get his breathing to settle.

“Y/N…I can’t – ” You turn him around so he’s facing you, and you can see him, see what you’re doing to him. Jay’s pupils are blown, his face is flushed, he’s sweating, and his brows are furrowed. His chest is rising and falling rapidly, and you place your hand over his sternum.

“Breathe, okay? Breathe. I want you to sit down, get through this hockey game, and once Will’s gone – ”

“Once he’s gone I’m going to fuck your brains out, you understand? Y/N, seriously,” Jay holds your chin, tilting your face up, and leans in, brushing his lips against your ear. “I’m gonna make you come all night long. You’re gonna be screaming my name, all night long. You’ll never want to fuck anyone else again after tonight. I’m going to make you mine, you hear me?” You want to nod, or say yes, but your thoughts are just so far gone you can’t. You suddenly feel Jay’s fingers pinching your right nipple through your shirt, and you can’t help letting out a throaty moan that Jay immediately stifles by sliding his thumb into your mouth. You wrap your lips around his thumb and start sucking fervently, closing your eyes but Jay grabs your jaw and pulls you off.

He’s got the dirtiest smirk on his face, after watching you so desperate for him in your mouth. “Easy babygirl, you’re the one that said we got a game to watch, yeah?” He murmurs, low. You begrudgingly nod.

The doorbell goes off, and Jay slides away from you. “I’ll get that!” He announces, and you take a deep breath, adjusting your clothes, before grabbing a beer from the fridge and heading back to the living room.

Thankfully, the one thing you haven’t lied about today is that you are genuinely a huge Hawks fan, so the game manages to keep your mind off of your…other preoccupations for the most part. It’s actually pretty fun, watching another side of Jay – the little brother who’s always ribbing at Will, who leans all the way forward when the Hawks get a powerplay, who tries to hold a whole pizza slice in his mouth so he can throw his hands in the air when they score.

The goal buzzer is going off obnoxiously, and Chelsea Dagger just starts to play. Jay grabs the pizza right before it slides out of his mouth and you just laugh. Will shakes his head. “Excuse my little brother – I promise our mother taught us manners and how to behave in front of women but he’s hit his head a lot over the years, so.” Will shrugs and Jay retaliates by punching his shoulder. “Can you please try and keep it together in front of my student and colleague, please?”

Jay rolls his eyes. “She’s not just yours.” Your eyes flash dangerously at Jay, who winks at you. Luckily, Will doesn’t spot either reaction, because he’s busy looking down at his phone that’s beeping. “She can be my friend too.” Jay adds.

“Yeah…maybe…” Will trails off, and you see his eyebrows drawn together as he stares at his phone.

“Everything good?” You ask.

Will slowly shakes his head. “Brittany Norwalk? The – ”

“- Peds vs auto that you looked at after lunch?” You interject.

“Yeah, they just tried to take her up for a thoracotomy and she couldn’t take the anesthetic so we’re going to have to go non-surgical…but apparently Lanik’s trying to get her shipped off to Lakeshore so we don’t have to keep a bed filled all night til I get back there tomorrow.” Will scoffs, and you just shake your head.

“No offense, and I know he’s your boss, but Lanik’s a complete dick.”

“Trust me, I’m with you on that.” Will replies, sighing. “So what now?” Jay asks and Will thinks about it for a moment. He turns to you. “You okay with it if we talk about Wilkerson tomorrow?”

Before you can say anything, Jay cuts in. “You’re going to Med? Now?”

Will throws his hands up in the air. “It’s the best course of action; I go down there, I can start the non-surgical procedure now, and frankly I’d rather do it myself because I’ve done it before.”

Jay’s eyes connect with you and you look away immediately. You know what he’s thinking. You also know he’s probably thinking the same thing as you – that there’s a patient whose welfare is on the line, so everything else needs to take a backseat now.

“You want me to come with?” You offer, and Will thinks about it.

“It’s fine, you should get some rest anyway. Wilkerson – ”

“Honestly Will, I feel okay already. I think I just needed to get my mind off of him somehow and – ” you gesture to the TV, where the Hawks have just scored another goal, “hockey and pizza’s done the trick.”

“And surely, the amazing company of yours truly?” Jay asks, leaning back against the couch with his hands behind his head, eyes practically twinkling. Both you and Will just stare at him, before you look at each other. “I’m scared to leave you alone with him.” Will says as he starts to grab his stuff.

“Calm down, I’ll give her back to you tomorrow in one piece.” Jay shoots back – which you highly doubt, by the way – and Will says that he better, before going into the bedroom to change.

There’s just silence, and a huge gap between you and Jay on the couch. Never having been one to be able to sit still for long, you fidget, bring your feet up onto the couch and hugging your knees. Jay doesn’t move at all, his eyes on the TV and it’s starting to unnerve you. What if he’s changed his mind?

Will comes back out, in pants and a proper shirt, and picks up his belongings before bidding his goodbyes and leaving. Once the front door closes, you turn the inside latch, locking it shut.

“So,” You start, shoving your hands in your back pockets as you stare at Jay, standing in the middle of his living room.

“So.” Jay parrots back, arms crossed over his chest. His face is neutral, and you can’t read it at all and it bugs you.

“You kinda talked a big game before.”

Jay shrugs, his green eyes fixed directly on you. “Just givin’ you an out if you’ve changed your mind. I wasn’t kidding about what I said before.” His voice is hoarse, deeper than it was before when it was you and him and Will all having fun. His eyes – they’re still, so fucking green but there’s a change. There’s something dark in them, and the thought of that only excites you.

“Make me scream your name, Jay Halstead.” You say, your voice sultry, and Jay comes undone.

He drops his arms and swiftly crosses the room to you, his hand grabbing your jaw as he crushes your lips with his. The two of you slam into a nearby wall, never separating, as you continue to kiss, stronger, deeper, more desperate. Jay expertly parts your lips with his tongue and you moan into the kiss. Running your hands down his body, you feel the lines of his abs through his thin cotton tee, and you catch the hem of it in your hands. Yanking it up, you and Jay part ways to get it off him completely.

Your eyes graze over the expanse of his body – his chest, his abs, his arms. You spot the little freckles dusted over his body, and you also spot the faint scars here and there, from a lifetime of fighting. You look up, and Jay’s watching you watch him.

Maintaining eye contact, you lean forward and start kissing his chest. Light, soft kisses, but as you travel downward, you increase the pressure of your lips on his skin, gripping his hips for support. Eventually, you’re down on your knees, your mouth right under his navel. Jay makes quick work of his jeans and you yank them down unceremoniously, along with his boxers. Jay’s thick cock bounces up, resting against his stomach. You look up from where you are, and you see Jay’s face – his furrowed brows, his open mouth – and you just smile.

You gently press your lips to the tip of his cock, adding pressure slowly. You lick the slit of his cock and Jay sucks in a sharp breath. His fingers run through your hair, still gentle but you suspect not for long.

You take his cock in your mouth, and you start bobbing up and down. With your right hand, you pump whatever your mouth can’t reach of his shaft, and quickly you get into a rhythm. You make sinful noises around his cock, your hand using whatever saliva is dripping down his cock as lube to stroke the base of his shaft. “Fuck, fuck…baby – ” Jay digs his fingers into your hair, grabbing all of it in his hand. You put your left hand over his, pushing, and he gets the message.

“Are you…sure?” Jay asks, out of breath, and you hum while your lips are still wrapped around his cock. The vibrations must have felt good, because Jay swears and involuntarily bucks into your mouth, and you can taste precum starting to leak from the head of his cock.

Jay grabs your hair, and your head, and slowly starts fucking your mouth. Thankfully, he quickly picks up the pace, and starts thrusting vigorously into your mouth. You gag on his cock, just like you wanted to, and every time his thick cock hits the back of your throat, you eyes tear up, but you fucking love it. Jay pauses when he’s fully in your mouth, letting you feel the massiveness of his cock possess what feels like the entirety of your mouth, before fully pulling out.

You gasp for air, breathing heavily, as saliva dribbles down your chin. Jay runs his thumb across your lips. “You look so good with my cock in your mouth, baby.” 

“I want…I want more…” You whisper, wrapping your lips around the head of his cock once again. “I don’t want to hurt you, Y/N – FUCK!” Jay starts and you cut him off by swiftly deep-throating his cock. “Fuck fuck fuck – fuck!” Jay repeats, grabbing your hair and fucking up into your mouth. You feel him tense up, as he slams his cock in and out of your mouth, and you hear him shout, and he stops, your nose touching the base of his shaft, his cock entirely in your mouth, and you feel hot spurts of cum down your throat. When he finally releases you, his cock is red and wet, glossy all over from your saliva and his cum.

Jay lifts you up and aggressively kisses you. You grab and pull on his hair, and he retaliates by squeezing your ass hard enough that you know there’s going to be bruises tomorrow. You pull apart, and he tosses you on to the couch. He surges forward, and together you two quickly remove all of your clothing as well. He pushes you so you lay down on his couch, and Jay quickly makes himself at home between your thighs.

Keeping your legs spread with his arms, Jay starts by peppering kisses from the back of your knee to your inner thigh on one leg, before switching to the next and starting all over again. You whine, fisting his hair in your hands to try and get him to touch you where you really want him, but Jay's working his plan the way he wants to.

"God, I love the fucking sounds you make." Jay murmurs, looking up at you. Your eyelashes flutter as he softly blows at your clit, and you can hear him smirking.

"C'mon, c'mon," You beg running your fingers through his hair. Your suddenly feel the forceful pressure of a tongue against your clit, and it's so sudden and so hard that you immediately jerk, hips bucking upwards. “Oh!” You shout, and Jay grabs your hips, holds them down, and starts assaulting your clit with his mouth.

"Oh, fuck, yes, yes - please - uhhnnhh ahhh! Fuck - !" You moan, eyes squeezed shut as Jay softly sucks on your clit. You feel his fingers enter you, curling, stretching you out and you groan. With your free hand, you grab your right breast and squeeze yourself. You start getting lightheaded, and you know what's happening.

"I'm gonna...I'm gonna come..." You whisper, and Jay immediately stops what he's doing.

"No, no, no no Jay please please fuck - " You whimper, trying to grab his hair to push his face back between your legs where he's certainly an expert.

He pulls himself up, bracketing you with his arms as he's face to face with you now. Bracing himself on one arm, he uses his right hand to brush away the hair on your face. "Shhh baby, I've got you, yeah? You're mine, and I'm gonna take good care of you."

With his hand around his cock, Jay slowly rubs your opening with the head of his cock. You moan, grabbing his face with your hands, begging him to fuck you. “Say you want me,” Jay’s pupils are so dilated, and he’s breathing heavy.

“I want you, I want you so bad, please, please – ” You whine, and he leans down and presses his lips to yours, soft and gentle. Your kiss is slow, and sweet – Jay runs his tongue over your lips and you almost want to start crying because of how good everything feels. You start feeling pressure between your legs, and you grab Jay’s shoulders to try and shift yourself down to bring his cock up into you. Jay just laughs at your desperation – “I’ve got you, Y/N...easy now,” – and slides his tip into you.

You let out a loud, dragged out moan, your back arching off the couch. “You’re so fucking wet, you’re so fucking wet for me,” Jay groans, sliding his entire cock into you easily. He’s buried to the hilt inside of you, and he starts thrusting gently. So slowly, that you can feel every inch of him against your muscles, your core. You rock back against him, your pussy clenching around his cock with every thrust. “You take me…so good baby…its like your body...was made to get fucked by me,” Jay whispers into your ear, before quickening the pace, harshly slamming his cock into you with every rapid thrust. “Oh my god, oh my god, oh god – ” You whimper, your voice breaking off into a high pitched whine as you throw your head back. Your whole body is bouncing with every of Jay’s thrusts, and you know you’re so close, so close, when Jay suddenly halts his movements.

You’re going to kill him.

“You – fucking – fuck!” You breath, trying to rock yourself on his cock, trying to build up the heat in your core again, but Jay pulls out of you entirely. “Fu – Halstead!” You shout, eyes flashing but the intense look in Jay’s eyes silences you immediately. 

“I’m not letting you cum until you’re screaming my name so loud all of Chicago can hear you, okay?” Jay’s voice is rough, deep and almost threatening, and you swallow hard. Eyelashes fluttering, you nod, your breasts softly bouncing as your chest rises and falls heavily. Jay grabs your arms and turns you over, so that you’re laying on your stomach. He presses his front to your back and moves your hair to the side. His lips roughly lay kisses over the back of you neck, between your shoulder blades, down your spine. You close your eyes, relaxing against his gentle movements. Eventually, his hands grip your hips and pull up, so that you’re on your knees, ass in the air, face pressed against the couch.

You feel the couch dip behind you, and you try to see what he’s doing, but you can’t, not from your angle. The suspense of it just makes everything so much more heated. You feel Jay’s left hand dig in to your left hip, and before you can even process it, you feel his cock thrust roughly into your cunt.

“Oh!” You shout, and Jay’s fingers dig into both your hips, and that’s the only warning you get before he starts pounding his thick cock into you. Obscene noises escape your mouth, and you squeeze your eyes shut as the sound of Jay’s thighs slapping against your ass resonate loudly in the room. You’re not going to be walking straight tomorrow, you know it, but it’s so fucking worth it because this feels so good, so amazing, so hot and it’s what you want and it’s what you need. Tears start spilling out of your eyes as you feel the orgasm you’ve been denied for about an hour now building again, stronger, heavier, deeper, and you start whining, whimpering, mewling.

Jay grabs your arms and lifts you a few inches off the couch, and you almost pass out because this new position gives him all the room he needs and more. Jay’s cock slams right where you need it to, and you feel like he’s fucking rearranging your guts at this point. Jay’s guttural moans are like music to your ears, and you feel your toes start curling, clenching around his thick cock.

“J – Jay, Jay, Jay! I’m coming, I’m com – JAY!” You scream, refusing to let his name part from your lips. Your vision whites out as you go over the edge, your body shuddering and twitching, and your orgasm slams into you so hard you feel like you’ve passed out. Jay slowly pulls out and gently releases your arms. He has to help flip you over because every part of you feels sorely fucked out and jelly-like.

Your eyes stay closed, and you’re drowsy, like you’ve been given every painkiller in the world. You vaguely hear Jay’s voice, and it feels like its in the distance, or as if your head is underwater.

“Hey. Hey,” Jay repeats, and you slowly open your eyes and you see him over you, watching your face with concern in his eyes. “Did I go too hard?” He’s worried, and you just slowly shake your head.

“Y/N, I – ”

You say something so soft Jay can’t make it out. “What is it, Y/N?” He leans closer. You just reach down between the two of you, and wrap your hand around his still erect cock that’s now leaking precum again.

Jay stiffens, but he grabs your hand. “It’s okay, I’m okay, let’s just make sure you’re fine – ” and he shifts to get up, but you stop him. Your eyes are wide open now, and while your head is still spinning, you’re a little more focused than you were 5 minutes ago. You send your right hand downwards, touching yourself and covering your fingers in your wetness. One of your fingers accidentally swipes against your sensitive clit and you twitch sharply, crying out, and Jay’s immediately holding you, worried. 

“It’s fine, I’m fine,” You murmur, and bring your slick hand up, wrapping it around Jay’s cock. Jay settles his forearms on either side of your head, bracketing you, and he presses a soft, chaste kiss to your lips. Smiling against him, you start working his cock, your hand rubbing against his stomach and yours. Jay’s so close already, so it doesn’t take too long before he starts moaning. He dips his head into your neck, swearing under his breath. “Hey, no, I want to see you Jay. Look at me now,” You say, and Jay wordlessly complies, lifting his head back up. You see how absolutely wrecked he looks – brows drawn together, sweat all over his face, and body, breathing like he’s running out of air – and you reach up with your other hand and brush your thumb against his check. “You’re so good Jay, you’re so good, you’re almost there baby,” You encourage him, and he nods. “I’m clo – close, Y/N, I’m so – I’m almost – I – uhn, fuck – I’m so close baby – ” Jay babbles softly, eyes screwed shut. You almost come again, just watching how gone he is. Jay sucks in a sharp breath when you run your thumb over his slit, and then he’s over the edge.

“Oh fuck – fuck, fuck – Y/N, Y/N!” Jay shouts, shooting hot cum over your stomach, your breasts. You press kisses to his neck, letting him settle down and regain his senses as he sags down against you. The both of you are slick with sweat, and half unconscious, so it’s a while before anyone moves or says anything. Eventually, the two of you decide you need to get in the shower, so you do.

The two of you stand under the shower water, and you run your hands over each other’s bodies, cleaning away the messes of Jay’s orgasm. Well, at least you do. Jay’s fingers keep peeling off to thumb your nipples, or squeeze your breasts, and you have to grab his fingers to stop him from being so handsy. He laughs –  a cheeky, I’m-not-sorry-at-all look on his face.

“So,” You start, looking at him.

“So,” Jay repeats, his lips curving into a smile.

“You kept your promise, I’ll say. Made me scream your name, fucked me so hard and so good I think you might have ruined everyone else for me,” You say, and Jay frowns. “Might have?” You just laugh softly, as does Jay, before his face drops the smile. “Seriously, though, are you okay? I went really hard on you – I swear, I didn’t mean to – I don’t know what happened – I just saw you there under me and I just – I lost my mind and you just looked so fucking good and I wanted to – ”

“Shh – Jay, look at me.”

His green eyes connect with yours, and your hearts warms with how full of concern and worry they are.

“I can take it. When it’s from you, I can take it,” You say, and then your heart’s beating like crazy in your chest because that right there? That sounds like its more than just sex. You’re not sure what this is, you’re not even sure if you should be doing this at all – Will’s still his brother and still your attending and having sex with Jay already screws stuff up but something more than sex? 

That’s just a recipe for disaster, right?

Thankfully, Jay doesn’t seem to realise that you’re starting to panic, and he just leans in, and holds your face in his hands as he kisses you softly. You relax, Jay’s lips moving against yours, with yours, in a delicate dance that has you forgetting all your worries and feeling safe and comfortable.

***

A/N: Thanks for reading! I do have ideas for a part 3, but I’ve also kinda left it so that this can be the end of this series, so I’m probably not continuing it unless y’all want me to! If you want to see part 3, please leave comments saying so! Thanks :)