cesca. she/her. good girl mixed with a bit of intellect. fics. pics. recs.
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hi! i know i haven't been very social - or active, really, on here, but i wanted to say goodbye! i've had such a good time but i think i'm all done :) thank you to everyone who's been kind, everyone who's sent any kind of message, everyone who's given me support on my fics. thank you to my mutuals - those i've talked to and those who i've only interacted with through likes (me saying hi) and reblogs (me saying i love you).
to everyone whose messages i never replied to: i'm sorry!!! please forgive me i love you
i'll leave up all my writing and everything but i won't be active!
also, i've opened up my follow list, so consider that a big blog rec <3
and of course my fic rec will stay open - thank you to all the writers whose stories i've read. you're truly so talented and i'm so grateful such skilled people are kind enough to share their writing with us!!!!
i also have a to read blog, which is everything i've wanted to read but have never gotten around to. there's no feedback or tagging system but they're all great fics!
anyway this is already too long haha so thank you and i love you all!!!
| masterlist | fic rec | more fics |
#this is why i posted holiday fics in august lololol#also i know i just posted a fic yesterday so i got a bunch of new followers...#must be weird u followed me and now i'm leaving so so sorry 😭#but yeah i'm leaving! ty everybody & lots of love 💜
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thank you, thank you, thank you 💞 the forum. 7.14.18
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Harry on the Late Late Show with James Corden - May 15th, 2017
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digging the new theme cesca!!! <3 mel @ kissinginkitchens
omg tyyyyy
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Sacramento 7/9/2018
Photography by me, editing by @lithographarry
Please do not repost or edit without credit
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Harry on stage at the Capital Jingle Ball. Credit @justharried
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132 / ∞ Harry Styles close-ups ・ © ohitsthatjen.
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Harry in my favorite suit 3.6.19
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Masterlist
harry styles x reader:
Bet On It - 5.9k You and Harry are friends; you’re betting he wants more. It takes a few joking confessions of love, a no-show date, a yellow flower, and charming forms of communication to determine a winner.
a ghost of a chance - 600 You just don’t have a ghost of a chance with Harry Styles
oh to stay - 4.9k a friends with benefits situation featuring rules, tennis balls, and crumby bread puns.
Lucky - 6.7k 🎃 The house is haunted, the cat is lucky, and the neighbor is not, in fact, a ghost. A halloween fic published in August! Cocoa - 4.5k 🎄 A Christmas party at James Corden’s house turns into a hot chocolate excursion with Harry Styles. You’re supposed to call, he’s supposed to text, you look cute and in love… And according to Harry, you’ve got a nice voice. Harry Styles x famous!reader; a Christmas fic published in August <3
sleepover - 1.5k Pure fluff. You and Harry have a sleepover, he does a gecko impression, and wow, he sure does love you a lot. yellow & blue - 2.7k Pure angst. Harry reminiscing, regretting, despairing you and his relationship with you at the 2020 Brits.
a mutual feeling - 9.5k You’re antsy, Harry’s not your friend, and the answer - is yes. Harry doesn’t do relationships but he does do sex. a boxerry au of sorts where Harry’s dad is your trainer but you’re a better fighter.
Keep reading
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joelhoneywell: Golden @harrystyles on the Amalfi Coast
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Bet On It
HELLO i’m back again with not only another fic but another friends to lovers!!! here’s 5.9k on hotel mishaps, long-term bets, and falling in love. featuring harry styles x reader with just a few warnings of explicit language and alcohol consumption.
enjoy!!!
masterlist | ask
***
Five Years Ago
If you hadn’t met him an hour before in the bar of the hotel, you would’ve said no. Share a hotel room with a stranger just because the hotel fucked up and double booked a room? No. Absolutely not.
Except -
His name was Harry. He was very cute. And sweet. He complimented your shoes in the bar, dimpling at you all cutely before holding out his hand and introducing himself. He let you prattle on for way too long, laughing at all your jokes and nodding gravely when you started getting serious.
And surprisingly, when you said you had to go, he didn’t ask you out or try to kiss you. He just told you it was nice to meet you with a smile. Problem was that that wasn’t the last you saw of him; when you went up to the desk to get your key card, the receptionist informed you of the mistake.
“We’ve double booked it. You’ll have to work it out amongst yourselves,” they said. “We can suggest other places to stay, or you can sleep in the lobby. Or - of course, you can always share. He’s over there. Guy in the pink shirt.”
You looked over, and lo and behold…
“Harry.”
“We meet again.”
“Was this your doing?” you joked. “All that to get me in a room with you?”
Harry grinned. “I wish I were that smart.”
“So just coincidence?”
“Or perhaps fate,” Harry replied with a shrug.
“Did you know?” you asked. “When you, uh - introduced yourself?”
He shook his head and said, “Not that it was you.”
“Well, now that you do, what do you say? Share the room?”
Harry tilted his head from side to side, pondering. “Let’s prove it was fate,” he decided, meeting your gaze with a grin. Your brows furrowed, and he clarified. “Rock, paper, scissors. I win, we’ll share. You win, I’ll find somewhere else to stay.” He held out his fist.
“Won’t make me find somewhere else?” you asked, smiling a bit. “Would rather share?”
He shrugged.
“Alright, then.”
Both of you counted silently, in your heads -
Rock, paper, scissors…
Harry grinned, and you made a fist from your scissors to bump his rock.
“Fate it is,” you said.
Fate proved to be in your favor; that night, you had the most fun you’d ever had in your life. To your surprise, however, the fun didn’t involve sex. Just talking. You sat on the bed drinking booze from the minifridge and talking until dawn with this Harry Styles.
It came up at one point, sex - or at least kissing did - but neither ever happened.
It was around three, when the exhaustion had set in, when you were lying down, gazing into each other’s eyes, half asleep. “Why haven’t you kissed me yet?” he’d whispered, and you grinned at him. “I should be asking you that, don’t you think?”
He looked confused. “Why’s that?”
“You’re the one in love with me,” you told him.
He giggled, rubbing his eyes. “And what makes you say that?”
“You wanted to share!” you exclaimed, like it was obvious, because it was.
“Sharing is caring.”
You bounced your brows. “Caring. Loving.”
Harry laughed and insisted, “Not the same!”
“I’d bet a million bucks you’re in love with me,” you murmured, tapping his nose.
“Then a million bucks you’d lose.”
“You will be,” you said, nodding slightly.
“Yeah?” Harry asked, a smile growing on his lips.
“Yeah.”
“Do you have a million bucks to give me on my deathbed when I still only care?” he said.
“Do you have a million bucks to give me when you confess?” you said back.
He stared at you for a second. His eyes were very green, his smile very wistful. “A kiss.”
“A kiss?” you echoed.
Harry nodded. “I will bet you one kiss that I will never fall in love with you.”
“You’re gonna want a lot more than one kiss when you inevitably do,” you whispered.
“At least one kiss,” he amended.
“At least one kiss,” you agreed.
“Shake on it?”
You both shifted around in the bed so you could shake hands without sitting up.
“It’s a bet,” Harry said.
And so it was.
***
Present Day
“Give it to me straight, Styles,” you greet Harry, plopping down at your table with a sigh.
He hesitates for a moment, drawing out the suspense, and then breathes, “Care.”
You shake your head disappointedly. “Unbelievable, how bad you are at lying, you -”
Harry interrupts, “What’s really unbelievable is your tardiness -”
Then you do: “Your annoyingness -”
He pouts and fires back, “Your vocabulary -”
“Your lack thereof -”
“That’s not proper English.”
You stick your tongue out at him. “You’re not proper English.”
“I promise you I am,” he replies with a smirk.
“I’ve always thought the accent was fake.”
“If it were, I’d be the greatest impersonator to walk the earth.”
“Impersonator?” you repeat. “And tell me, what is an impersonator but a talented liar?”
He gives you a grin. “I’ll take the compliment of talented, thank you.”
Leveling his gaze, you smile back and take a sip of your drink. “You know, I think that actually was proper English,” you muse. “Lack thereof. Your vocabulary - or lack thereof.” Harry bites his lip, eyes narrowed, staring at you, and you’re tempted to joke that his focus is lust when he replies, “It’s still wrong. I was saying your vocabulary is naive, and by saying I have none, you’re fundamentally saying the same. It’s redundant.”
Clearly satisfied with himself, he sits back, smiles smugly, and takes a sip of his coffee.
“Harry Styles,” you say, “I’m going to smack that smirk right off your pretty face.”
“Second compliment in a day!” Harry exclaims. “Someone alert the press.”
You roll your eyes, taking a sip of your own drink. “Why, they’d have a field day.”
The little cafe you’re in is absolutely adorable. It’s midway between your place and Harry’s, and after that fateful night in the hotel (during which you learned you live so close to each other), you began a tradition of meeting here once a week.
Tradition doesn’t end with just the location and time. Each meeting is almost exactly the same. You’re always late, and you always greet him the same way: some variation of “Have you fallen in love with me yet?”
And his reply is always the same: negative.
From there, the conversation wanders as much as it ever does, with one asking about the other’s week and the response being long and filled with complaints and woes and lamentations. The question is echoed back, and the response is - again - long, filled with complaints, woes, etc.
Despite the moaning and groaning, the mood never falls too low. It’s impossible to feel down around Harry Styles; just one look at those dimples makes a smile of your own appear on your face.
Your friendship with him has certainly blossomed. It’s a wonder he hasn’t fallen in love yet (or maybe he has, you’ll never know unless he says), and a greater wonder still that he hasn’t turned the question around on you.
Because the answer would be yes. You have, in fact, fallen in love with him.
Deeply, madly, in love.
But he’ll never know, because you’ll never say.
***
“I love you,” you tell Harry breathlessly, looking up at him lovingly. “Most ardently.”
Harry shakes his head. “No, no - I’m just a girl! I’m just a girl, standing in front of -”
“I’ll always be there for you!” you cut in excitedly. “All the love in my heart, Llo -”
“Michael, I love you!” Harry gushes. “Choose me, marry me, let me make you happy!”
You jump up and jut a finger at him dramatically. “We live in a cynical world!” you exclaim. “A cynical world, and we work in a business of tough competitors. I love you! You - you complete me!”
Harry jumps up to match you and begins, “I hate that -” then shakes his head and restarts, “I hate the way you’re always right, I hate it when you lie - I hate it when you make me laugh and - and - and even worse when you make me cry - I hate the way - I hate it when” - he’s grinning big now, jumping with excitement and passion - “you’re not around and the fact you didn’t call - but - but mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you, not even a little bit, not even at all!”
It all came out in a rush of jumbled words and you’re so impressed you can’t help but sit back down and clap for him. Bright red, Harry takes a bow and collapses onto his couch next to you. “That took way too much effort,” he says, out of breath.
“It was worth it,” you tell him. “That was dazzling, really. You should go on the road.”
Harry nods. “One man show. Shakespeare. All of his long monologues, then bam - a poem better than all the others combined.” You giggle and fall into him, leaning against his chest with a sigh. “I’ll come with you,” you say. “Follow you to the ends of the earth and hold my breath to Pluto.”
“What’s that from?” Harry asks.
“That’s all me, baby.”
“Maybe the poem better than all the others combined could be yours.”
“Impossible,” you say immediately. “Nothing will ever beat Kat Stratford.”
“I’ll manage.”
You scoff. “You?”
“We.”
You shake your head. “There’s no ‘we’ in genius, Styles, but there is an I.”
“And a U!” Harry replies.
You look up at him.
“Wait.”
Snickering, you sit up and stretch your arms towards the ceiling. “Stick to memorization, maybe. Leave the heavy lifting to me. You need some practice on that speech, anyway - I counted at least three errors, not to mention the stuttering.”
“Practice makes perfect,” Harry sings. “What do you say, can I confess my love to you every night for the sake of practice?” You shake your head, standing up again and grabbing an empty container of food to throw away. “Not without losing the bet.”
Harry follows you, cleaning up as he goes. “Just for the one man show!”
“No exceptions.” You grin at him, grabbing your stuff and heading for the door. “Thanks for the food, Styles. I’ll see you Sunday?” Harry nods and blows you a kiss, which you catch and put in your pocket. “I’ll save that for when you lose the bet,” you tell him.
“Get outta here,” Harry laughs.
You stick your tongue out at him and stick a post it note on the door frame as you leave.
***
Harry usually wakes up to a few texts. Maybe a call every so often. Notifications from social media aren’t uncommon. The only days he wakes up to nearly a hundred texts are the nights you decide to go to the outlook.
Whether or not you like staying up late normally, you stay up until the wee hours of the morning to go to this place you found about three hours outside of the city. It’s a bit of a drive, but it’s completely worth it.
There’s a little woods out there, and a while ago you went a bit off path and found an outcropping of rocks that look out over the city. At night, stars are visible. There’s nothing you love more than lying for hours on the cool stone, gazing up at the heavens above.
The first time you took Harry to the outlook, you asked a question, and Harry’s answer to that question was one of the only lies he’s ever told you. You’d asked, “You’re not afraid of heights, are you?”
And Harry had said, “Of course not!” when in reality, he’d been looking for an opening to mention that very fear for the twenty minutes before, while you’d been climbing steadily uphill through the trees.
In his defense, there was no way he could’ve said anything different. You were just so happy, glowing with excitement and practically buzzing with energy. Plus, you’d grabbed his hand at the moment you asked to pull him up the last ridge and he was still a bit startled.
He never came to regret that lie. He grew out of the fear, anyway, so it wasn’t a huge deal. In fact, he’s almost come to love heights. He loves the thrill, the burst of happiness, the insane phenomenon of a racing heart and the feeling of being totally at peace all at the same time.
Incidentally, he also feels that way around you, whether the two of you are a hundred feet up or not. He’s always enjoyed spending time with you, and even just seeing you makes him happy. It’s what makes you a good friend.
Harry’s gone with you a few times to the outlook, but it’s usually pretty late by the time you want to go. Sometimes you’ll call him and he’ll pick up, and you’ll talk on the phone until one of you falls asleep.
You went last night, apparently, because Harry scrolls through seventy-two text messages this morning. It takes a while, since he reads all of them and then replies, but he woke up early anyway so it’s fine.
It’s Sunday, so he’s headed to the cafe to meet you. He has a cup of coffee even though he’ll get one at the cafe, too. There’s a sticky note on the coffee maker - Note to self: tell Harry there’s a snickers bar in his sweatshirt pocket - which you probably left a few days ago.
Harry smiles at the note, then frowns, sticking his hand in his pocket. There is, in fact, a Snickers bar in there, and Harry throws it out. It’s from almost a month ago, when you and him had an August Halloween. The sun is just a little too bright. Harry listens to music in the car, humming along and tapping his hands against the wheel in time.
You’re late, of course, so he orders his second cup of coffee and reads a newspaper on the shelf while he waits. Today it’s five minutes until you arrive, which is actually more on time than usual, and Harry throws you a large brimmed hat he found in his closet when you approach the table.
“What say you, Harry Styles,” you greet him, catching the hat and placing it on your head. “Make a jester laugh” - you form a heart with your fingers - “or make a jester cry?” Your heart cracks in two as you pout at him.
Breaking a finger-heart of his own, Harry grins. “Laughing clowns were always creepier to me,” he tells you. You trace a finger down your cheek like a tear and sit down across from him, sliding a menu from its place on the wall and beginning to read it over.
You look up at him, half smiling, a joke on your lips, and then -
Harry blinks.
Just like that, something’s changed.
You snap in front of his face. “Hello? Anything? You could at least pretend to laugh.”
“Christ, sorry,” Harry breathes. “What’d you say?”
Raising a brow, you lean forward and inspect him. “You alright, there, Styles?”
“If I were any better and it’d be obscene,” Harry answers easily, tapping your nose.
Grinning, you sit back. “Fantastic. Tell me, then, how it’s been. Fill me in.”
“It’s a lot better seeing you in that hat.”
“Oh, I forgot!” you exclaim, looking up at it.
Harry giggles and asks, “You wanna know what one hat said to the other?”
“Oh, boy.”
“I’ll see you on a-head!”
Groaning dramatically, you throw the hat at him and bury your face in your hands.
***
"This is getting embarrassing, Styles,” you say as you walk up to Harry.
He turns around, a smile already on his face, and begins, “What’s -”
He stops when he sees you, because you’re all dressed up. You look absolutely stunning, which was on purpose, because of course you want to see his reaction, whether he loves you or not. And it’s very satisfactory, this reaction.
“You look fantastic,” Harry says softly.
You clear your throat, a little put off by how serious he’s being. “That was the goal.”
His eyes float back up to meet yours, a small smile on his face. “Thank you for coming.”
“You’re welcome,” you chirp. “But don’t let your head get too big - I only came for the free food and movie.” Finally, the glaze over his eyes fades, and he grins at you. He takes your arm, and as you walk, he asks, “You started a thought, you know, about something embarrass-”
You scoff. “You asked me on a date, Styles!”
“I did not!” Harry insists. He shakes his head. “My date ducked out at the last second -”
Smirking, you cut in, “Wonder why, Mr. Pink Suit.”
“- we were going to match, thank you - but really, she ducked out, and I wasn’t about to waste two perfectly good tickets. Thus… here we are.” He nods, like he’s pleased with his answer, but you raise a brow at him. “That’s a terrible excuse. You can just say you love me. I’ll accept.”
You arrive at his car. “Not yet,” he says, and then he gets in.
He starts the car, and for a moment, you gaze out the window.
Then, breaking the silence, you say, “I like the suit.”
“I like the look.”
“Thanks, I came up with it all by myself.”
“Impressive.”
You wait a moment, and then ask, “What inspired the pink?”
“She said she wanted a pink rose.”
Frowning, you begin, “I thought you said pink roses are -”
“Yeah, they’re not my favorite,” he mumbles.
You snicker a little. “Oh, what a bad date in high school can get you…”
“Hey, don’t tease,” Harry whines with a pout.
“Sorry, sorry,” you murmur. “You’re nice to dress up anyway. No rose, though?”
Sheepishly, he tells you, “I… forgot.”
“You forgot?” you laugh.
“Yeah…”
“Well, um… well, it’s the thought that counts.”
Harry pulls into the parking lot and parks the car, then unlocks the doors. “Come on,” he says, but you frown at him, confused. “You know you pulled in the wrong way?” you ask, but he just beckons with his hand and opens the trunk.
You hadn’t even looked - there’s pillows back there, and candy, and blankets, and he flicks on little fairy lights. “Harry Styles, you romantic!” you gasp, enthralled. “Wow, I gotta meet this girl, if you’re doing all this for her…”
He sits down and pats the space next to him, then grabs a pack of candy - your favorite. He hands it to you, which you take with a slow smile. “Her favorite too?” you ask. “Nope,” Harry replies, shaking his head as he opens his own pack of candy. “Forgot to ask her, but when I called her in the store she wouldn’t pick up so I just… got yours.” He clears his throat and hands you a bag of popcorn. “There’s this, too.”
“Thanks, Styles.”
On the huge screen in front of you, the movie begins to roll. You take a risk, sliding a little on the seat so you’re leaning against Harry, head against his chest. You can feel him breathing, his heart beating, his arm around your waist, thumb gently moving back and forth over the fabric of your clothes.
You fall asleep for most of the movie.
When you wake up, you’re leaned against a pillow, not Harry. Frowning and out of sorts, you sit up and rub your eyes. He’s leaned against the car outside, on the phone, and you can just barely make out what he’s saying.
“... I know, it’s… Yeah, I - I’m sorry you couldn’t make it, love. I missed you…”
The familiar feeling of tears building behind your eyes horrifies you, and you have to turn your back to him as tears start slipping down your cheeks. You’d somehow managed to convince yourself that it was all a ruse, that he’d meant it to be you from the start, that there was no other girl, that all along it was -
“Hey,” Harry says.
You cough, palming away the tears on your face and yawning like you’d just woken up. “Oh, hey… How’s, um - how’s she doing? Or - whoever - I mean -” You squeeze your eyes shut, shaking your head. “Sorry,” you whisper.
“She’s fine,” Harry tells you. “How are you? Took a pretty long nap there…”
“Yeah,” you murmur. “I was… I’m tired.”
“C’mon, then, let’s get you home.” He smiles at you, dimpling adorably, and holds out his hand. You take it and slide off the back of his car. “Thanks,” you say. He nods and shuts the trunk while you get into the passenger seat.
You don’t say anything as he starts the car, as he backs out and heads for your place. He glances over at you, drumming his fingers against the steering wheel, and eventually turns on the radio. You fold up a sticky note and covertly slide it into the center console.
“I’ll see you Sunday,” you tell him when he stops the car.
He nods. “See you then.”
You hold his gaze for a second, and then get out of the car. As you’re shutting the door, Harry says, “Hey!” and you stop. “Hey, er - thank you. For coming tonight. I know it was a little… It was a bit much.”
“Not too much at all,” you say softly. “Bye, Harry.”
You shut the door.
***
The sticky note business began about a year after Harry met you. He’d mentioned something about refrigerator magnets being the most charming form of communication ever invented, and the next day he found a sticky note on his mirror that said, Note to self: find a more charming form of communication than refrigerator magnets.
Harry doesn’t find the sticky note in his console until the next night, when he’s driving home after working late and he’s trying to find his phone. It’s ringing, and it’s your ringtone, which is really, really annoying because you set it to the worst song you could think of so he’d be motivated to pick it up fast.
It’s not in the center console. It’s actually in his pocket. He picks it up.
“Harry, you gotta tell me now,” you say immediately. “Do you love me?”
“I -”
“Love or care, Styles.” You sound breathless. “L or C. Lover or Cunt. Tell me now.”
“Cunt,” Harry says reflexively, and then shakes his head. “I mean -”
“You don’t love me.” You don’t sound upset at all. You’re just clarifying.
Harry frowns. “I… What’s going on?”
“Well, I think I love this guy, Styles, and I’m about to fuck him, so I’ll talk to you later.”
And then you hang up.
Harry stares at his phone for a moment. Then he puts it down, frowning at the street in front of him, and thinks for a while until he gets home. When he does, he’s shutting the center console, which he’d left open, and he sees the little post it note.
Note to self: buy a pink rose for h to make him like them bc they’re pretty
Sitting in his car, staring at the note, Harry can’t help but think he’s messed it all up.
***
Sunday. You don’t show up.
***
Another Sunday. Harry orders a coffee and reads the newspaper.
You don’t show up.
***
You answer a text.
He asks if you’re okay, and you say, Yup!
***
You send a text.
Hey, Styles? Can you bring me a flower?
***
He should’ve gone to your place first, Harry’s thinking. He should’ve checked there, and then gone here. But it’s too late now. He’s stepping out of his car, trekking through the forest, and he’s finally here, and -
You’re on your back, staring at the stars.
“You know, I really thought he was the one.”
Harry bites on his lip and fiddles with the flower in his hands. “Did you?”
There’s a beat of silence. Then you sigh and sit up. “No.”
“He didn’t - you’re not… You’re okay, right?”
“Nothing’s broken but my heart,” you murmur. “Physically, I’m fine, emotionally, I’m…”
You fade off, and Harry sits next to you and hands you the flower.
“Yellow,” you whisper. You look up at him, eyes wide in the moonlight. “Why yellow?”
“Color of your shirt the first time I met you.”
Smiling, you murmur, “Memory of an elephant.”
“I couldn’t remember her favorite candy,” Harry says impulsively. He shuts his eyes, exhaling softly. “Sorry. Wrong thing to say.” You shake your head, looking forward again. “It’s fine. How’s she doing?”
“Wouldn’t know.”
Surprised, you glance at him again. “You mean you -?”
Harry shrugs. “She said my priorities weren’t right. Then she said goodbye.”
“We’re just a coupla broken hearted fools, aren’t we?” you say quietly.
“Broken hearted, yes,” Harry replies, “but I’m not a fool. Don’t know about you.”
You scoff, hitting his chest with the back of your hand. “We’re having a moment here!”
“Sorry, sorry,” Harry says, but he’s laughing so the apology is moot.
There’s a beat of silence, and then you say, “I would’ve known about her if I hadn’t missed all our Sundays. I’m sorry.” Harry shakes his head. “Don’t worry about it. Did you have fun, at least? With Mr. Heartbreak?”
You giggle. “So much fun.”
“Well… that’s good, at least.”
He looks at you, really looks, and for a moment, he forgets himself.
You’re looking up at the stars, your head tilted up, your lips curved upwards in a smile.
Harry’s expression matches yours. It’s one of quiet awe, of happiness and joy and adoration. He’s smiling, too, but it’s not as conscious. It’s more reflexive, something he can’t help but do whenever he catches sight of this view. He’s not looking at the stars, though - his gaze is focused on you.
“Come on!” you exclaim suddenly, jumping up. “This is the perfect excuse to watch The Notebook again.” Harry blinks, standing up and following you back to his car. “You took the words right out of my mouth,” he says.
***
Ideally, on the anniversary of your meeting Harry, you’d both rent a hotel room and get drunk on the minibar, talking nonsense until morning, to properly reenact that first night together. Problem with that is that hotel rooms cost money.
So instead, you have a sleepover. Last year it was at your place, so this year it’s at his. The good thing about not being in a hotel is that you can buy normal size bottles of booze, rather than the teeny ones from the minibar.
He’s grabbing everything from the kitchen while you’re queueing up the movie on the TV in his room. It’s not cooperating, though, and you’re rooting through all the wires in the back to try and find something that’s supposed to be connected.
“Harry, if you don’t get in here this second!” you shout at him.
“Did you get the other remote?” he shouts back.
You groan and whine, “Just come in here!”
“I haven’t gotten everything yet! Look for the second remote. It’s in one of the drawers.”
“Which drawers?” you yell.
He doesn’t reply.
So you ruffle through the drawers closest to the TV. Books, papers, chargers. No remotes. You go further and find his record collection. A few photo albums. You stick a sticky note on the top one that says, Note to self: go through these. There’s more books. A few DVDs.
And then - a folder. It has a yellow flower on it.
Frowning, you glance at the door behind you and then flip it open. What must be a hundred post it notes fall out. Your jaw drops, just slightly, because they’re all from you. Every sticky note you’ve ever left him is in this folder. He kept them all.
“Did you find it?” Harry shouts.
You ask, “Find what?” but your voice is too soft and he doesn’t hear you.
He shouts your name again, and you quickly shove the folder back where you got it. You clear your throat, then yell, “Harry, I can’t find it!” Finally, he comes in, arms full of food and drink, and tugs open the top drawer on his bedside table with his foot.
And there it is.
“Have I got to do everything around here or what?” he jokes.
You give him a laugh and set up the TV, which works just fine now that you have the right tools. Harry sets everything down and puts his hands on his hips, raising a brow at you. “You alright?” he asks.
“Yeah, fine,” you tell him. “Just grew a few white hairs waiting for you to come back.”
He sticks his tongue out and tosses a bag of chips at you. “Ha, ha, very funny.”
Finally, the movie’s set up, and you lean against his bed, sighing in contentment as the opening credits start to play. Harry hands you a glass and holds his own out, which you knock against your own. “Cheers, Styles,” you say. “To five years.”
“And counting.”
Grinning, you drink up and then settle back to watch the film.
***
His voice is thick.
Like honey.
It drips off his tongue, catches on his lips, slides down the column of his throat and glistens in the dim light. It’s rich. Deep. It turns to crystal in the cool air around you as his words fade off. You want to reach out and feel it on your fingers, want to taste it on your tongue, want to feel it slide over your lips, down your throat…
“... and then, suddenly, I was flying out the window with the worst pain I’ve ever -”
“Harry,” you interrupt with a giggle, “this is the third time you’ve told this story tonight.”
“It’s a good story!”
“Lemme see,” you say, crawling forward, and you’re on his lap now but you can’t really bring yourself to care because this is for scientific purposes. Harry grins and puts his hands on your waist and you giggle again and put your fingers on his jaw. “Lemme see your tongue.”
“Wanna see it or touch it?”
You smirk and reply, “How ‘bout lick it?”
“That’s gross!” Harry exclaims with a delighted laugh.
“I know!” you exclaim back, equally delighted.
“It’s broken,” Harry says, but he’s opening his mouth so it comes out all warbled. “I’m broken, you know -” You peer at his tongue, but it doesn’t look very broken. “No, you’re not,” you tell him.
“On the inside,” Harry says, pouting at you.
You laugh and wrap your arms around his neck, nestling your head on his shoulder in a hug. “You’re warm,” you say, “that’s what you are.” Harry nods against you, running his hands up and down your back. “You fix me,” he slurs into your neck.
“That’s so romantic!” you giggle.
You sit there for a second, breathing him in, feeling happy, and then suddenly -
“I’m roasting,” Harry says, and it’s morning.
“I’m so hot,” you groan, “and my head hurts so bad…”
Harry grunts and pushes against you. “Get off me.”
You open your eyes, squinting in the sunlight, and fall off of him and onto the floor.
He stands up, moaning and groaning, and walks out. You may have fallen asleep again because when he comes back in and hands you a glass of water and some medicine you’re blinking back awake. “Thanks,” you mumble, downing both.
“That was something,” Harry says.
“Something for sure,” you say.
“I can’t move,” Harry says.
“Me neither.”
So you don’t. The day drags on, and when you’re both coherent enough for food you go to the kitchen. Harry cooks something up, and you eat it, sitting next to him at the kitchen island. You feel his foot against yours, and you play a half-delirious game of footsie as you finish eating.
Once you’re all done, Harry stands up and starts to wash the dishes. You watch him, watch his back and his arms and the way he moves, and stand up and stand next to him, grabbing a dish towel and holding out your hand. He hands you the plate, and you dry it.
It’s comfortable, the silence, and it’s more than peaceful, standing there drying dishes with Harry in the early afternoon. There aren’t many dishes, but you both take your time, and eventually he breaks the silence and the productivity to put on some music.
And then, suddenly, you’re dancing, a smile on your face that you can’t seem to get rid of curving your lips as you float around the kitchen with him. He’s bopping along to the song, hand in yours, dish towel over his shoulder after he stole it from you.
The dancing carries you to the living room, where he twirls you out so you can collapse onto the couch. He does the same, and you put your feet on his lap, head on the armrest, looking at him.
“You’re staring,” he says.
“You’re in front of me.”
“Excuses, excuses.”
You raise a brow, smiling and still holding his gaze, and then sit up. “Staring contest, go.”
Instantly, he blinks, and you laugh, “Fuck’s sake.”
“No, no, again,” he demands, grinning, and he blinks quickly a few times before declaring, “Go.” The staring began. Your eyes begin to sting, and you bite your lip, trying to keep your eyes open.
“We should watch Bird Box,” Harry whispers.
“Saw it last week.”
“I saw it,” he corrects. “You hid behind your hands the entire time.”
“You were the one screaming like a baby.”
“I prefer rom-coms, you know that.”
“Sometimes you need a little variety in life.”
“I lost the bet.”
You blink.
“Victory,” Harry says, a bit weakly, blinking too.
Your brows furrow. “What?”
“Victory,” Harry repeats, smiling sheepishly.
“No, no, before that,” you insist, shaking your head.
“I lost the bet,” Harry repeats softly.
You swallow thickly. “What bet?”
Harry bites his lip, concentrating, and then stands up and walks away. You scoff, following him, and ask again. “What bet?” He shakes his head, quiet, and opens his refrigerator, looking for something.
“Harry, for the love of -”
He holds out a kiss. A chocolate kiss.
Your eyes widen.
He steps closer, holding the kiss out on his palm. “I lost the bet,” he says. “I fell in love with you.” Your breath catches in your throat. “I don’t know if you feel the same,” he goes on, “so I… I don’t want to kiss you. I mean - I do, but -”
He holds the kiss closer to you. “I lost,” he finishes quietly.
You can’t find the right words.
So instead, you close the distance and kiss him.
The chocolate kiss falls to the floor, and fireworks erupt behind your eyelids.
After a moment, the words come.
And then, when you pull away for a moment, you both speak at the same time -
“I love you.”
Laughter bubbles from your lips, and Harry grins, kissing you again.
“So I guess I didn’t lose after all,” he murmurs.
You smile against his lips. “Let’s call it a tie.”
***
AHHHH there it is!!!! i actually did write this in like . two days . which was ! great haha but i hope u liked it!!!! if u did, feedback and a reblog would be much appreciated 💜
thanks for reading!
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