#Alice macray imagine

[lotties-ashwagandha]

NEVER HAVE I BEEN A BLUE, CALM SEA (part 5 of ?)

pairing: alice macray x reader

word count: 1743

notes and warnings: lol we’re getting angsty tonight (it all ends well i promise) i love this chapter — we get some phyllis drama 👀

summary: from the moment you saw her, you swore to give her everything... or at least give her a Woody Guthrie album.

taglist (if you’d like to be added or taken off, let me know!): @devriesgoode​ @traumatisedfangirl​ @cordeliass​ 

You threw yourself into the car, barreling out of the reach of the rain. It had been storming for three days without rest, and business had slowed in the record store, yet you seemed to be getting ceaselessly busier with your responsibilities at Ms. In the last week you had scrambled to finish writing three articles regarding wildly unrelated topics, and while you enjoyed your job immensely, you were becoming exhausted.

The absence of seeing Alice had begun to take its toll as well. It had been almost two weeks since you had last visited her. You had talked on the phone almost every day, and at the start it had been enough, yet you missed her presence. Her vibrance was like a drug. You needed her, needed to see her.

More than anything, it was her – it was Alice that gave you happiness, peace. You never stopped thinking of her. Over the last few weeks you had gotten closer – even distance could not stop the way you were pulled towards one another.

You felt like you had known her forever, as awfully cliche as it sounded, for only a little over a month had passed since you’d met her. You wanted to spend every moment with her.

In the brief hour you’d had between finishing one of your articles and closing the record shop, you had decided that you would stop by to visit Alice on the way home from work. By the time you got there, Buck wouldn’t be expected home for at least another half hour.

It crossed your mind very briefly that you had no idea if Buck Macray knew of your existence at all – and you considered the symbolism of if he did, and that of if he did not.

You wondered as well if it was really a good idea to stop by unannounced. You hadn’t talked to her that day, and she might have people over, or she might be busy with her children. Excuses kept coming to you, and you finally determined that if you saw other cars in the driveway, you wouldn’t stop, and that surely there was no harm in stopping by just this once without checking in first.

—

You stopped your car a few feet from the driveway. Two cars were parked there, neither of which belonged to Alice.

Remembering your earlier deal with yourself, you almost continued through the street, but your foot refused to press down on the gas pedal, and suddenly you were closing the car door behind you as you started walking up to the house.

You knew you probably shouldn’t knock on the door, that the situation you’d gotten yourself in with Alice was a bit tricky to reveal to anyone else, for even the two of you had no idea what relationship you really possessed.

Knocking on the door, you waited. A faint shout sounded from inside, and after a moment the door opened.

Phyllis Schlafly faced you. Her lanky frame stretched so that you were looking up at her. Her confusion was obvious when she saw you, and you could tell she was trying to decipher if she had ever seen you before. “Phyllis Schlafly,” she introduced herself, her hand outstretched, and it took every bit of self control not to slap her as you shook her hand.

You began to introduce yourself, but she interrupted you.

“Alice,” she called, looking over her shoulder, “are we expecting anyone else?”

You heard approaching footsteps over the distant sound of voices, until nothing else existed but the woman that appeared in front you.

Alice wore the same light blue dress she’d worn when you first met her, and she was glowing.

Yet when you met her eyes, something shifted in her gaze, a sort of panic as she looked between you and Phyllis.

“Alice,” Phyllis asked impatiently, “is she coming in?”

Alice could only offer a nod, stepping back to let you in the house. When you met her eyes, you could see every conflicting thought passing through her mind.

Phyllis seemed to sense the awkward exchange, yet she did not speak, instead leaving to join the rest of the guests in the living room.

As soon as you were alone, Alice began to speak, the words flying out at the speed of light. “What the fuck are you doing here? You should have called me!”

You’d never seen her so panicked, and you’d never heard her swear before, which was a bit disconcerting as you yourself had a bit of a tendency to swear and it still sounded unnerving coming from her. “I should leave.”

“No, no,” she stopped you, grabbing your wrist. “No, I’m sorry, I’m just, I don’t know…”

“I understand,” you assured her, “I should have called, I don’t want to intrude. I just wanted to see you.”

Her features softened at that, and she offered you a small smile. “I’m glad you’re here. Really,” she said when you didn’t seem to believe her, “it’s comforting to have you with me.”

Though she was still a bit frazzled, the two of you continued into the living room.

As it turned out, you had walked in on a weekly gathering Alice had with her friends, a gathering which had been titled as a book club but was really a center for spilling gossip about anyone they could think of, and it was held at a different person’s house every Thursday night. Most of the women in the neighborhood were present in the group, and the house was flooded with judging gazes.

You took a seat on the sofa next to a woman with curly chestnut hair and glasses, and you instantly noticed that Alice took a seat in the armchair across the room instead of the empty spot beside you.

You attempted to meet her eyes, but she looked away.

Realizing Phyllis had spoken your name, you met her prying gaze. “Alice didn’t tell us you were coming.”

You had no idea how to respond. “I’m new.”

“New to the city?”

“No.”

She glanced around, a bit confused. “Oh… and where does your husband work?”

“I don’t have a husband.”

“Oh, darling, are you a widow?” She said, her voice raising an octave.

You almost laughed. “No, no, I’ve never been married.”

Phyllis seemed unable to fathom this, unable to process it in any way. Her eyes had widened a bit, and she shifted in her seat. Almost all of the women were now gazing at you, their eyes flickering around to each other.

You couldn’t bring yourself to look at Alice.

Hell had found its way to that room, and it seemed like it would never leave. You felt like you were burning. Never had you wished more to leave a place, to forget its existence entirely. The prying eyes, everything, they bore into your soul.

Phyllis spoke again. “Well, you seem of adequate age to be acquiring a husband… might I say on the aging end of adequate…”

“I’m sorry?”

“How are you going to support yourself on your own? And, you know, a woman’s greatest purpose is having a family and tending to the house.”

“I owe you no explanation,” you said firmly, anger rising in your chest, “but I will say that my ambitions have never rested in what men can give me.”

“You’re a fool. It's as simple as that, a damn fool. Alice, where did you say you met her?”

You heard Alice clear her throat. Her voice was quiet when she spoke. “She owns a record shop on the other side of town.”

“Oh, that’s bound to fail. A woman like you surrounded by all of those hippies? You’ll sink, or you’ll be indoctrinated.”

You stood, meeting Alice’s gaze. You deserve better than all of these people, you wanted to tell her. You deserve everything good in this world. But you merely turned to Phyllis, keeping your voice from shaking. “I think you’re a pompous bitch. I always have. Your reputation precedes you.”

And you left them all sitting in shock.

—

You’d almost made it to your car when you heard Alice calling your name.

The fresh air that had met you did nothing to calm you — the sunset was a waste of a view, the world might as well have been ending. You didn’t care anymore.

“Please, stop!” Alice called, and though every bone in your body urged you to keep moving, to leave all of it behind, suddenly you were still.

You were swallowing back tears. Everything was coming to the surface.

When she reached you, she was almost out of breath. She looked just as distraught as you were, her mind seeming to move in every direction at once. “I’m so sorry. She shouldn’t have said any of that, I knew this wasn’t going to go well, that’s why—”

“Why you wanted to hide me from everyone? Your guilty pleasure feminist to call when you need someone to talk to because none of those bitches really care about you? Fuck that.”

She grabbed your wrist as you turned away. “No, stop, you know that’s not what’s happening.”

You paused, and for a moment you couldn’t breathe. “Then what is happening, Alice?”

She stepped closer to you, the hand that wasn’t on your wrist carefully finding its way to the back of your neck, and all at once she was leaning closer, and you were bridging the gap between the two of you, your lips crashing into hers.

She met your eyes when you pulled away, and you knew how terrified she was, and it broke you. “Is there something wrong with me?”

“No,” you said immediately, “nothing at all.”

She glanced back towards the house, to the windows, and let out a sigh of relief when she realized no one had seen the two of you.

“I don’t own the record shop,” you admitted. “I just wanted to impress you.”

She laughed. “I’ve known ever since you said it.”

“Really?”

Alice nodded.

“And one more thing,” you said with a laugh, “I’m a lesbian.”

“Oh, really?” She said with feigned surprise. “Now that’s a surprise.”

She glanced back to the window, and seeing no one there, she quickly kissed you again. “I think I love you.”

And you knew it was the truest thing she had ever said.

-

-

-

-

A/N: I know it seems like it but this is NOT the final chapter <3

[cabensonsgirly]

👼I pray for forgiveness that you can’t grant me. You are a woman of God yet you feel like a temptation from Lucifer. (Alice Macray) [NSFW]👼

Dark!Alice Macray x fem!reader

👼Wordcount: 1896👼

👼Content: Heavy religion, one-hundred percent blasphemous, definitely not sweet Alice Macray, riding crop, homophobia, internalised homophobia👼

👼“Yes, Miss Macray. Dear Heavenly Father, forgive me for my impatience and selfishness. Defeat the bad attitude of competitiveness that I often display in arguments and disagreements with others in my family, and- and” The wardrobe door closing firmly startles you, “Start again. This time no hesitation. No stuttering,” Alice says coldly.👼

“We’re going to church today, Yn,” Alice says while running her brush through her hair, looking at you through the reflection in the mirror. You let out a sigh, going over to the wardrobe to get out the church clothes Alice purchased for you, “It’s not even Sunday, lo- Alice. It’s the middle of the week, and we’ve already been on Monday and Tuesday, why’re we going today?”

She puts her brush down a little firmer than intended, “Because we have to pray for forgiveness, that’s why. We are living a life of sin, and the only way we can continue is if we pray for forgiveness each day.” You get out your white dress with tasteful lace detailing, starting to remove your usual clothing, “That doesn’t make any sense. It’s not like God has actually said it’s bad for woman to lie with woman. He has said that we shouldn’t wear clothing of mix-“

Alice cuts you off, “Do not preach The Bible to me, Yn. You have only just started repenting for your sin of lying with women, you hardly know The Bible, let alone what God does and does not approve of.” She sprays a little perfume on her neck and wrists, something plain as anything more would mean that she was prideful, and that was a sin.

She gets up and goes over to you, pulling the zipper up on your dress, “I don’t know why you’re complaining, Yn… You always love what happens when we get back from church.” Your cheeks flush, and you go to turn around to face her, but she holds you still, pressing wet kisses to the side of your neck, “Don’t you enjoy it when my head is between your legs? Only getting pleasure when you get the bible verses correct? What a good way to learn about what isn’t a sin.”

You let out a quiet moan upon feeling her lips on your neck, shame and arousal merging together to make an uncomfortable knot in your stomach. “Isn’t- Isn’t that blasphemous to do that, Alice?” She nips lightly just under your jaw, “Blasphemy is a lesser crime than lesbianism, Yn. God will forgive us because we are learning his word, we earn his forgiveness when we go to church and pray, when we confess.”

You manage to finally turn in her arms, leaning in to kiss her but she moves away, a look of disgust on her face, “What are you doing? Don’t be so disgusting, Yn. Get your church shoes on, and I will meet you in the car.” You open your mouth to speak but when Alice points to the cross hanging above the bed, you bite back your protest, nodding your head, “Yes, Alice.”

Later that evening while Alice is putting her children to bed, you decide to try and sneak in some self-indulgent time. You’re lying in bed under the covers, you close your eyes as you picture the love of your life, how beautiful she looked when in prayer, the way her lips moved as she spoke each word. Your hand kneads one of your breasts underneath your plain cotton slip, your lips parting in quiet moans, although you were pleasuring yourself, you hoped that God could not hear your sin, the sounds of you committing such impurity and defiling yourself and the bed of your partner under the holy cross. Your other hand runs down your body to between your legs, a breathy gasp escaping you before you could swallow it when you feel how wet you are, just further evidence of your unholy act.

“Alice” you breathe out as you dip two fingers into your heat. Alice opens the door carefully as to not make any noise, she thought it was odd for you to close the door seeing as she liked it open in case one of her boys needed her. So, when she saw it was shut, she knew you were doing something you weren’t supposed to. She had naively hoped that you would have stopped giving in to such an insatiable beast.

She closed the door quietly behind her, leaning against it, she couldn’t believe her eyes. She felt her heartbeat racing upon hearing you say her name so sinfully. Only when she saw you dip into your dripping heat did she speak, “Yn!” she said sternly, her voice hard.

You quickly pulled out, moving to sit up on the edge of the bed. Alice watched you, her eyes falling to your chest when she sees how your breasts bounce slightly because of your sudden movement. You look up at Alice before down at the carpet between your feet, “Forgive me, for I have sinned, Miss Macray,” you say quietly, your cheeks darkening further, but with shame instead of arousal.

“Why did you touch yourself, Yn? Don’t you know that it’s a sin to do that? Especially when you’re thinking of me, another woman.” She lets out a disappointed sigh, going over to the bedside table to get out one of her Bibles, “Over the edge of the bed, Yn. You will read the prayer that I have written and put in the front of the book until I believe that you have truly earned forgiveness.”

Alice places the book in front of you once you have bent over the bed, opening it to the page before going over to the wardrobe, “Read it now so I know you understand what I’ve written.” You gulp and look at the page, guilt starting to creep into you, increasing by the minute. How selfish and unholy could you be to have committed such an act?

“Yes, Miss Macray. Dear Heavenly Father, forgive me for my impatience and selfishness. Defeat the bad attitude of competitiveness that I often display in arguments and disagreements with others in my family, and- and” The wardrobe door closing firmly startles you, “Start again. This time no hesitation. No stuttering,” Alice says coldly.

“My apologies, Miss Macray. Dear Heavenly Father, forgive me for my impatience and selfishness. Defeat the bad attitude of competitiveness that I often display in arguments and disagreements with others in my family, and for giving in to unholy temptation of laying with another woman. Energize me with your Spirit so that I don’t stray from the Holy Path. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.”

Alice returns to you, standing behind you where she runs the head of the riding crop over your skin, “Very good, Yn. You will get 10 hits for the thought of touching yourself, 10 for doing so, 10 for saying my name, and 10 for giving in to unholy temptations once more.” You nod, balling your hands into fists in the sheets in preparation for what is to come, “Yes, Miss Macray.”

The strikes began without warning, the unyielding leather coming down on your flesh like hellfire. You knew that were you to make a sound, Alice would give you something to truly scream about. With each strike it went straight to your core, desperately trying to keep your legs apart because you were already being punished for giving into the Devil’s lure, you didn’t want Alice to punish your further. She spared you no mercy in her actions. You counted each lashing in your mind in a desperate attempt to keep yourself from moaning out.

With each strike it was as if she were hoping to beat the sin from your very being, hoping that the pain would be burned into your mind and associate itself with you touching yourself and giving into the temptation of Lucifer. Your lips hit the sheets on the thirtieth lash, the plushness of the duvet granting you some reprieve in contrast to the harshness of the leather. Your hands which you had placed above your head curled into tighter fists, your fingernails digging deep into your palms.

“The tears you cry shows me, shows God, that the sin is being cleansed from your soul. You are devoted to The Lord now,” Alice speaks, her strikes coming down harder than before, something you didn’t even know was possible considering her physique. “Where has your devotion to him been all this time? Where did it go? This is a body that God has created so generously, and you are tainting it with nothing but sin,” She stopped for a moment, and took each cheek of your ass into separate hands. Her thumbs brutally rubbing circles into your reddened ass. “Where is your shame?”

“Oh Miss Macray” You all but moaned out, your face immediately burning with shame upon saying her name so wantonly. The memory of the pain you have just endured crashing to the forefront of your mind once more, disgusted by your behaviour. Alice saw now as the perfect opportunity to deliver the final blow, the crop cracking in the air as it hits the globe of your ass. You cried out in agony, it felt as though you were bleeding, your ass burning hot and raw from the punishment you’ve endured.

You slip off the bed, whimpering when your ass hits the carpet, the fabric irritating your already inflamed skin. You slumped against the foot of the bed, a continuous stream of tears running down your cheeks. Alice put the crop down on the bed before her gentle touch to your cheek drew your gaze to her, “Was my warning about noise not enough to deter you? Has Lucifer himself taken hold of you?” Her voice was so soft unlike her words which struck like daggers into you, “Is there no salvation for you? God give me strength to cleanse the impurity from this woman.”

You couldn’t help but lean into her touch, a pathetic mewl falling from your lips when you feel her other hand cup your heat, “Allow me release, Miss Macray, please.” She clicks her tongue as if she were scolding a child caught stealing a cookie from the jar, “You harlot” she spits at you making you flinch, not use to this hard tone. “You selfishly ask for release instead of asking The Lord for forgiveness.” Her lips were so close to yours, yet the space between felt just as big as the space separating Earth from the Heavens. You could feel each puff of her breath hitting your lips, the soft floral scent of her lipstick reaching your nose.

Alice’s lips brush against your own, you both letting out a quiet moan because of the fleeting touch, sin never being more tempting than it is now. “Miss Macray, I pray for salvation, for forgiveness that only you can grant me,” you say quietly, her proximity making your eyes flutter shut as to not lose complete control, to not give in completely to temptation. She presses her hand harder against your heat, her fingers ghosting through your folds, “There is no release for a sinner,” she says just as quiet, “you will change the sheets and wash the sin from your skin before you return to bed to pray for another chance of salvation.”

Alice gets up, moving to put the crop away before leaving the bedroom entirely. She felt a burn deep in her core, the call of Lucifer more tempting now than ever. But unlike you, she is a pious woman, and isn’t so willing to purge herself of her holiness.  

[supremeinlilac]

Headcanon : Laughing

Sarah Paulson Characters x fem!reader

prompt : things you do that make them really laugh

contains : Billie Dean Howard, Ally Mayfair Richards, Cordelia Goode, Wilhemina Venable, Tammy Robinson, Alice Macray, Xandra

disclaimer : none

So basically I just created some little scenarios that I think would make each character laugh,, feel free to let me know how you think they'd laugh :)) this was a load of fun to write.

Billie Dean Howard

-Billie will laugh when you both are out in public, maybe at a press do

-You'll both see someone doing something stupid

-like that time a guy tripped over the set wires backwards into a bin

-you both glance at each other

-she basically turns red trying not to laugh, because if she breathes then she'd burst out laughing

-have to excuse herself

-when you get out of earshots her laugh is really contagious

-hands over her mouth to muffle it

-"oh my god Y/N did you see that" "please tell me you saw that"

-she tells you funny stories about the spirits she's met

-"what are you- Y/N that wasn't even the funny part"

-can't get through the rest of the story because she's laughing at herself too much

Ally Mayfair Richards

-Ally thinks that your laugh is contagious

-definitely tries to make you laugh all the time

-bends over when she laughs, holding her stomach

-"I'm gunna have abs at this rate baby"

-finds your clumsiness hilarious too

-that one time you stepped on Oz's Lego that was on the floor, and started jumping up and down on one leg

-got tangled in the curtains

-ally just couldnt breathe she was laughing so much

-probably laughs in secret at funny videos online

Cordelia Goode

-Cordelia tries to remain professional while around the girls

-stifles laughter when you do little inside jokes across the dinner table

-coughs to hide it

-kicks you under the table

-when it's just the two of you, she can't help but laugh at your impressions

-you impersonate the girls, she loves when you do Madison

-has a really feminine laugh that low-key gives you butterflies

-explosive laughter the one time you do an impression of her mum

-"Y/N stop hahaha, stop, no- my side, my sides are burning"

-once you're both in a giggly mood, it lasts all evening, and you do silly things like pranks together

Wilhemina Venable

-Wilhemina never properly laughs

-mostly it's a condescending chuckle at your expense

-but on pancake day, you decided to go all out and make them from scratch while she stood and watched

-you flipped one but it stuck to the ceiling

-"well wasn't that awfully clever, little one"

-it dropped back into your face with a splat, your eyes wide

-you noticed she was bent over, and you worried that her back was hurting her

-when you asked if she was in pain she stood up and she was actually laughing

-tears were coming out of her eyes

-definitely a silent laugher, one where her shoulders shake and she cries

-gasping for breath and starting all over again when she sees you with the pancake still on your shoulder

-doesn't let you forget

-"remember that time with the panca-" "noooooo"

-smirks everytime you mention pancakes

Tammy Robinson

-a giggler

-laughs at pretty much anything

-finds herself hilarious

-probably in a corner right now laughing at something she though of

-"what are you laughing at?" "I just thought of something funny"

-9 ball showed you both a recording which you had hoped went unnoticed

-you at the Met Gala, tripping backwards over Roses foot down the stairs

-she tries to keep a straight face

-recording continues as you try to act like nothing happened, hair ruffled, smoothing your dress down

-catches your eye and looses her shit

-"you did look amazing in that dress though" wink wink

-definitely has the recording saved

Xandra

-her laugh is condescending as fuck

-mommy issues makes that okay

-more of a chuckle than a hearty laugh

-when you try to whisper rude things to her, or try to take control she'll laugh

-"you're cute when you try to be dominant baby girl"

-laughs when you are self deprecating, but it's less condescending, more endearing

-you were whining that you were a lightweight

-"you maybe a lightweight, but you're my lightweight" "now come here"

Alice Macray

-Alice doesn't really like to fully laugh because she doesn't want to appear unladylike

-can't help it at your jokes

-especially the bad ones

-"what did the cat say to the man?" "tell me"

-"meow because cats can't speak English"

-*silence*

-she bursts into loud loud laughs, and definitely gasps for breath

-"that doesn't even - make any- sense"

-still laughing after 5 minutes

-accidently snorts which sets you both off again

-will laugh quietly to herself later when she thinks you're not watching her

-Alice just deserves more laughter in her life

[oscar-lettjohanssonloveme]

Little Sunshine (Miss Venable x reader x Alice Macray)

okay..hi :) this is reallyyyy long xD And its the story of this 3 cuties and how they fell in love with each other.. Well, its a little bit like the 3. part of “purple roses” (purple roses u can find here: https://littlejeaniehugsbumblebees.tumblr.com/post/640902350735818752/purple-roses-ms-venable-x-reader ) 

I know, that there is no second part online today, but there will be! If u didnt read the first part, u dont need to, coz i wrote this fanfiction that way, that u dont have to read the first part, i guess its angst idk

anygays my english is a mess, thats why i use google translate:’)

can we just talk about the fact, how perfect alice and mina would match? Mina the hot top with all that bdsm vibes and on the other hand we got the cute and innocent Alice sksksks

I guess Mina is the protagonist of this fanfic 

A good description of your relationship would have been complicated. Because it was all incredibly complicated. Don't get me wrong, you loved your girlfriends and they loved you, but sometimes when you woke up between the two of them, when Mina had her arms wrapped around you from behind and when Alice was cuddled with her head against your chest, you might just be confused how all of that could be possible.

And sometimes you couldn't help but wonder what your life would be like without one of your girlfriends. But you knew that you could never live without one of them, that was a fact.

You needed both to be happy, there was no other way.

Mina brought firmness and structure into your life. Thanks to her, you had developed routines for your daily routine and were no longer so distracted. And you loved the fact about her that she was more rational than emotional about things.

And every time she went on a business trip and left Alice and you at home alone, a huge mess broke out and all structures were thrown away.

You would oversleep in the morning, be late for work and your house would turn into a huge disaster and mess.

It just wouldn't work without Mina.

Alice, on the other hand, was the most innocent, gentle, and naive person you had ever met. Mina helped you solve your problems, but Alice helped you understand and accept them. In addition, Alice was incredibly cute and she was fantastic at cooking.

And whenever you needed it, she was there to hug you and tell you how much she loved you.

And the proof that it wouldn't work without Alice was the relationship you had with Mina before Alice came into your life. At the moment when everything you had with Mina broke, it seemed like God would have sent a gentle angel to save you.

----------------------

"This is going to be a new record .." you said as you leaned into the door frame to watch your girlfriend who was still working at her desk.

"What do you mean?", She lifted her gaze from her laptop in confusion to stare at you with a frown.

"You have been home for 4 hours and are still working .."

Mina sighed and rubbed her temples.

"I just have to make one phone call and then I'm done .." she muttered with her eyes closed.

"You always say that ..." you started, shaking your head. "One last phone call, one last document, one last email ... and then it's 10 p.m."

Mina was startled at your words and took a quick look at the clock on her laptop. You were right, it was 10 p.m.

"I doesn't matter ..." you sighed and turned to go back into the hallway.

"I'm going to bed, good night Wilhemina ..."

"Good night .." she replied quietly and stared after you.

Wilhemina.

That's what you called her only when you were angry.

Mina swore quietly and grabbed her phone before dialing the directory assistance number and letting it ring.

"Uhm..Hello, you're connected to the directory assistance, I'm Alice ..", came a soft female voice, which sounded a bit too happy for Mina's taste.

"I want you to find Lennox Fischer's private email address for me ..", Mina said in a commanding tone.

There was silence on the other end of the phone for a moment before the woman, Alice, continued.

"We have actually been closed since 6 p.m. .."

"Then you shouldn't have answered the call, could you still find this address for me?" Mina sighed and propped her chin on her palm.

"Give me a minute ... I've only been working here for a few weeks ...", Alice laughed nervously and Mina closed her eyes in annoyance.

"That's when I realize I shouldn't have told you my name .." Alice remarked after a few seconds.

"How tragic .." Mina replied ironically and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Do you have the email address?"

"I'm sorry..but what was the name again?"

"Damn it, it's not that difficult. Then why do you have this job if you can't get anything done anyway? I've rarely met someone who is as damn unqualified as you," barked Mina and slapped the table with the flat of her hand.

"You have no idea .." the other woman yelled back.

"Can you all stop being so impatient with me? I'm only human too ... And all because you're too lazy to look for it yourself and now take out your frustration on me ... I'm getting this right now not paid either, so it takes as long as it takes. And if you have a problem with it, fuck off.."

Miss Venable stared in confusion at the phone in her hand.

"Uhm, I'm sorry ..", she stammered overwhelmed.

"It's just that my girlfriend is impatiently waiting for me to finally get to bed .."

On the other end of the phone, Alice snorted.

"Yours too, yes? Get a divorce from her, even if she's just your girlfriend, it makes everything easier..You know- "

"Lennox Fischer ..", Mina interrupted the woman to bring her back to the subject.

"Oh yeah .. m'sorry .." Alice muttered and laughed nervously again. "You have to know that I got divorced from my husband two months ago and it's all a little bit complicated .."

"Aha."

"Well, I now have his email address, can you write it down? Then I'll dictate it to you .." Alice said and Mina sat down straight again to type in the email address down that Alice dictated to her on the phone.

"Good .." Alice said and sounded polite again.

"Then I thank you for your call and hope I could help you .."

Mina let out a small snort and had to grin at the strange woman.

"I have to thank you .." she muttered before hanging up and finally shutting down her laptop.

When she finally opened the door to your bedroom, you were lying with your back to her in bed and she couldn't tell whether you were still awake or already asleep. She undressed quietly and then climbed into bed behind you.

"Honey?" She whispered softly as she leaned over to gently press kisses against your exposed shoulder. "Are you still awake?"

"Nope .." you made with your eyes closed and Mina laughed quietly.

You blinked against the darkness of the room as you turned your head to face her. Your girlfriend was hunched over you naked, looking guiltily at you. After staring at her for a moment, you reached out your hand to reach behind her head and carefully pulled the hair tie out of her hair. Long red hair fell down her face and the ends of her hair tickled your cheeks.

"I'm done with everything now .." she whispered, smiling gently.

"Now is half past ten ..", your hand slid from the back of her head to her cheek to linger there.

"Now is a little bit late.."

"I know and I'm sorry .." she muttered and you could hear the regret in her voice. But a simple "sorry" wasn't enough for you anymore.

You sighed before you sat up and leaned against the headboard of the bed.

"Look, I know you have to work a lot, but sometimes it's just too much you know?"

Mina, who had also leaned against the headboard, nodded shortly before you continued.

"It's not about that the whole thing can't be healthy for you. I mean more us ... Although that might be a bit selfish, I know you love your work, but I uhm .. I don't know- you know, you work all the time and even on weekends and I know it's not your fault, but I just can't do this anymore..I'm sorry that I claim your affection so much, but I just need you and you have no time .. "

Carefully you looked over at Mina, who sadly returned your gaze.

"I'm sorry .." she whispered and grabbed your hand to pull you close to her so you could rest your head on her chest.

"I'll do better, I promise .."

"I know I'm no better myself .." you muttered as she began to comb through your hair gently.

"As a professor at this college, I have to work a lot too, but not until 10 p.m."

"I'll do better .." she repeated and you smiled before leaning over to press your lips against her cheek for a moment.

"That's all I want .." you pulled back and lay back on your side of the bed. Your girlfriend was not long in coming and lay behind you before she put an arm around you and pulled you back to her.

"What do you think if we go out after work tomorrow ..?" She whispered in your ear.

You hummed in agreement. "That's a great idea..".

"Yes?"

"Yeah .." you muttered with your eyes closed.

"Good night Mina ..".

"Good night baby .."

---------------

You slammed the car door angrily before turning around to stomp up the steps to your front door. You were angry. Very angry. After you hurried to get off work as quickly as possible, you drove to the restaurant where you had an appointment, only to wait an hour for someone who didn't come and now you drove back home and then to see Mina's car parked in the garage.

"Wilhemina fucking Venable .." you shouted as you opened the front door.

"How dare you humiliate me so much ..".

You ran to her workspace and as you expected she was sitting at her desk in front of her laptop and seemed to be working. Her brown eyes widened when she saw you angrily standing in the doorway.

"I'm so sorry ..", she stammered and got up.

"Oh of course you are .." you hissed with narrowed eyes.

"I called you 4 times while I sat in this stupid restaurant for an hour .. You can't imagine how embarrassing it was, the waiter felt so sorry for me that I didn't have to pay for my tea .. "

Your girlfriend stared helplessly at you.

"Like I said, I'm sorry, Y / N .. i was just so busy and then I forgot .."

"So do you admit you've forgotten? You know, at one point I thought you might be doing this on purpose because you think it's funny."

"I never could, I-", she began, but you raised your hand to silence her.

"The only problem is that you always do that .." you bit your lip.

"You promise me so often that you will spend time with me only to then skip it for your work .. Then just leave it straight away and I don't always have to make myself hopes, only to be disappointed ..".

"Y / N please .. I'm as good as finished .. We can still go somewhere and have dinner ..", she looked at you desperately, but you just shook your head.

"Just forget it, Mina .." you muttered before turning around to leave her workspace . She looked after you sadly before let out a frustrated moan and slumped back into her desk chair.

How could she have forgotten?

Reluctantly, she picked up her phone and dialed the directory assistance number like the night before.

"Hello, you are connected to Directory Assistance .." said the same soft voice as last night.

"Alice ..", Mina remarked and didn't really want to notice.

"Ohh you're the rude woman from last night .." Alice laughed on the other end of the phone.

"The one with the impatient girlfriend .."

"Now more likely the one with the hating girlfriend ..".

"What did you do wrong?", Mina could hear real concern in the woman's voice and that confused her. She didn't even know this woman.

"She's upset because I always move her for work .." she mumbled.

"It's not your fault if you have to work."

"Exactly! ..", Mina shouted loudly and was surprised by her own volume.

At the other end it was quiet and Mina noticed that the whole thing was more than just private right now. She cleared her throat just before continuing.

"Can you find out Leigh Chaplin's phone number for me?"

"Of course..give me a minute .." Alice muttered and Mina heard Alice tapping on the keyboard through the receiver. For a brief moment Mina thought about just hanging up. That call was quite weird and had taken on a very personal direction. But just when she really wanted to hang up, Alice began to dictate the phone number to her and she had to take notes.

--------------------

Mina had decided to make amends for what had happened a few days ago. The only problem was, whenever you had time, she couldn't. And once she was done with everything, you had to work. It was a never-ending cycle that dragged you both further and further down. And the worst part was that you both knew that and still couldn't do anything about it. She loved her work as much as you loved yours and neither of you would ever be willing to sacrifice your work for the other.

And yet Mina had decided to make it up to you and that meant for her to help you with saving time. That's why she was now at the city library to bring back the books for you that you had borrowed a few weeks ago. Actually you had your own little library in your house, because you valued books very much, but at some point all these books were read and you were both not people who read books again.

And as a college professor, you had a habit of researching books rather than the internet anyway.

Here she was now, hobbling her stick through the library building. Which turned out to be quite difficult as she was holding your books in one arm and then had to go through the big building with her stick. If she were to trip and fall, she would have no way of catching herself. Mina knew that this would probably never happen, but still she didn't like the feeling.

But of course it happened as it had to, as always in such situations. It wasn't Mina who fell, but it was one of the books that slipped out of the crook of her arm and landed with a thud on the wooden floor of the library. How much she hated that ... such situations were almost unbearable for her. Simply because it was embarrassing to know that because of her scoliosis she was unable to bend down to pick up the book herself.

She wanted to swear loudly, but she knew that a library might not be the best place for this. She poked her senselesslyn stick around on the book and tried to put it upright somehow, only to grab it. But it was useless. Of course it had to be the thickest of your books that she had dropped. Her stick seemed to be against it like a thin branch.

"Let me help you .." suddenly came a soft voice from behind her and made her flinch. Mina turned around and looked into the friendly face of a petite woman with light brown hair.

"Your book ..", the woman said when Mina didn't answer and pointed to it with an outstretched finger. Again Miss Venable didn't answer and just stared at the woman in front of her. She was 100% sure she had never seen her before, but her voice ... She knew that soft voice, she just didn't know where from.

Without hesitating for another second, the strange woman bent down and picked up the book.

"You are welcome ..", she smiled and put the book back in the crook of Mina.

"Thank you ..", Mina mumbled, still staring at the woman in front of her, confused.

"I'm sorry, but do we know each other?"

"I think I would know that..", the woman laughed and suddenly Mina knew who she was looking at.

"You're Alice .." she uttered. "Alice from directory assistance ..".

Alice's eyes widened.

"Then you must be the one with the impatient, hating girlfriend .."

Mina's pale skin turned red at the other woman's words and she began tapping the floor with her stick in an irregular rhythm, as she always did when she was nervous.

"I may have exaggerated a bit .." she muttered. "She doesn't hate me ..".

"Well, I'm glad .." Alice honestly smiled before she nodded at the books in Mina's arms with her chin. "By the way, you have a very good taste in books .."

Mina's gaze followed that of the woman in front of her and landed on the book that she had dropped.

"Oh..these aren't my books, my girlfriend read them .."

"So she has a very good taste in books ...".

Mina nodded briefly while she was still staring at Alice. The fact that she had actually met this woman was so weird that it couldn't be a coincidence.

"Uhm .. I should bring the books back .." she muttered and Alice nodded quickly.

"I can wait .." said Alice.

"So .. if you want .." she added quickly when she noticed Mina frown.

Mina narrowed her eyes while she could only stare again. Alice exuded such confidence and she was so kind, it was like she couldn't help but agree.

"Okay .." Mina muttered. "Just give me a minute ..".

Alice's eyes began to glow.

"Perfect .." she said, beaming. "I'll wait outside."

Mina nodded shortly before leaving Alice to return the books.

"Where is your car?" Mina asked Alice as she stepped out of the library.

"Oh uhm I came here on foot .." Alice muttered and Mina frowned.

"It's getting dark .." she said curtly and Alice, who obviously didn't know what to do with that remark, nodded shortly.

"I can drive you home."

Mina studied Alice's face for any dislikes, but the woman just smiled again.

"That would be nice..".

Mina nodded again before going to her car with Alice.

"Well ..", Mina began after getting into the car with Alice.

"Where do you live?" She looked at Alice from the side, who was desperately trying to put the strap over her blouse so that it wouldn't crease.

"Uhm..Woodhill Avenue ..", the woman mumbled when she was finally satisfied.

"You can't be serious ..", Mina stared at Alice, not sure whether to laugh or be upset. "We live on the same street .."

"Oh really?" Alice's eyes lit up again.

Mina just hummed in agreement before starting the car.

For a few minutes they drove through the crowded streets and neither said a word. And although something like that was usually uncomfortable, at that moment it was actually quite pleasant, at least that's what Mina thought.

"Actually we know the whole neighborhood, but I've never heard of an Alice, nor have I seen you ...", she said finally as she turned into the long street of Woodhill Avenue.

"Well .. actually I don't live there .. I think I told you that I separated from my husband and since then I've been living with my daughter ..", Alice explained and Mina didn't even need to look at her to see how the woman was uncomfortable with the topic.

"I'm sorry .." she said curtly.

"Oh no .. you know, I'm happy the way it is now, at least I'm happier than I was with Buck a few months ago ..".

Mina didn't know what to answer, so she decided not to say anything again.

"Do you know the people who live in this house?" Alice suddenly asked and pointed to the building that Mina referred to as her home. "Venable and Y / L / N are their names .. My daughter told me that everyone is afraid of them .."

Mina stared at Alice and when she realized that the woman was serious, she started to laugh.

"Is it really that bad that everyone is afraid of us?", Mina said and couldn't help but grin as she watched the eyes of the woman next to her widen.

"Wait..I- you live in the house with your girlfriend?" Alice stammered and Mina nodded.

"I'm so sorry ... God ..this embarrassing .."

Alice buried her face in her hands and stared between her fingers at the house where you lived with Mina.

"Well, it's a nice house ..", she muttered, trying to get out of this situation somehow. Mina just snorted in amusement before continuing down the street with the car.

"Which house does your daughter live in?"

"In the green one over there .." Alice muttered and Mina's eyes landed on a green low-rise building.

"Ohh your daughter is Evangeline ..", Mina remarked as she parked the car in front of the house.

"You know her?" Alice sounded confused.

Mina nodded.

"I've never really spoken to her before, but I know her .."

"Okay .." Alice frowned before reaching for the seat belt to unbuckle her.

"That's when I notice, I don't even know what your name is ..".

"Miss Venable .." Mina said curtly and bit the inside of her cheek.

"uhm..or Wilhemina .."

Alice smiled.

"Well, then thank you, Wilhemina, for taking me home .."

"Good Night, Alice ..", Mina muttered and had to smile again.

"Good Night .." Alice repeated before getting out of the car and disappearing into the green house. And Mina couldn't help but stare after her.

In her mind, for whatever reason, she was back on the day the two of you had met in the flower shop where you had been working at the time. Even then, she had wanted to smile all the time.

When Mina finally stood in front of the house for a few minutes and finally decided to go home, she felt nothing but guilty feelings and she did not know who these feelings were for: Alice, because Mina had let her go or you, because she felt exactly the same  things right now as she did when you and Mina first met.

----------------------

It was Saturday evening and Alice was on her way to the house of the interesting woman she had met in person a few days ago. Somewhere she had a guilty conscience, as it was already 10 p.m. and it was probably impolite to disturb Mina so late, but she really wanted to see Wilhemina again and at the same time she really wanted to get to know you.

She stepped onto the site of your house and hesitantly raised her hand to the bell before finally pressing her finger against the little button.

When two minutes later still nothing had moved, Alice actually wanted to turn around and go home, but then she remembered that Mina probably needed longer due to her stick and that's why she stayed. And actually a few seconds later an angry looking Mina opened the door for her.

When Alice saw Mina's angry look, she was afraid for a moment that she had more than just disturbed, but when Mina recognized her, her look softened.

"Alice .." Mina uttered happily and Alice could see the woman in front of her trying to suppress a smile, which she failed.

"Uhm..I hope I'm not bothering .." Alice gave Mina, who quickly shook her head, a bright smile.

"No .." said the woman, her face serious again. "How can I help you?"

"Uhm well, I've got something for your girlfriend .." Alice muttered as she reached into her pocket to get the book out before she passed it to Mina.

"I saw on Thursday that your friend had checked out the first part .. I thought she might want to read the second part too .. It doesn't exist in the library .."

"Oh that's nice ..", Mina picked up the book.

"But unfortunately she's not at home all weekend because of a seminar .."

Alice frowned

"Are you sure you're the one who transfers his girlfriend because of work?" She asked and watched Mina just shake her head.

"I think you have a completely wrong picture of her ..", Mina muttered and chewed her lower lip.

"Isn't that important either, do you want to come in?"

"Sure .." Alice nodded quickly and started smiling again.

When Mina led Alice into the living room, Alice couldn't help but be impressed. The walls of the great room were lined up with full bookshelves sorted in alphabetical order. A large chandelier hung from the ceiling and was not switched on because a fire was burning in a large marble fireplace. In the middle of the room was a large dark red carpet on which a dark wing chair, a couch made of the same dark fabric and a square wooden table with short table legs stood.

Alice's gaze caught on the wing chair Mina had obviously been sitting in, before Alice rang the bell. A blanket lay untidy on the seat, covered with an open book and on the table was a half-empty glass with red wine. On the edge of the glass Alice could see traces of Mina's dark lipstick.

"Excuse the chaos, please ..", she heard Mina say behind her. Alice let out a low snort.

"Chaos .." she repeated mumbling and turned to Mina. Except for the few things on the wing chair, the house seemed to have been furnished down to the last detail.

"Do you drink wine?" Asked Mina, clutching her stick with both hands.

"Sure." Alice replied curtly.

"Red or white?"

"White, please ..".

"Well, then wait here for a moment ..", Mina said before turning around to leave the room.

Alice looked after the woman briefly before going to the dark sofa to sit on it. She sat there for a moment, but then the pictures on the mantelpiece caught her eye and she got up again to walk to the fireplace to take a closer look at the pictures.

All of the pictures showed Mina and a woman Alice was unfamiliar with, but Alice was smart enough to say that it was you, Mina's girlfriend.

And she noticed that Mina was right when she said Alice had the wrong picture of you. You didn't see at all like someone that could be impatient or strict. All these pictures showed you laughing honestly, with a cocky twinkle in your eyes. And of course Mina, who, as always, tried to suppress her smile. Alice grinned at the thought.

Each picture showed a different moment, presumably dates or vacations and all in one, Alice thought that you and Mina looked cute together, at least in the photos.

"So you've already discovered Y / N's altar .." mumbled Mina, who suddenly appeared next to Alice.

"Oh yes .. It's cute ..", Alice said and took the glass of white wine, which Mina held out to her before she mumbled a little "thank you".

"I think it's rather cheesy, but it was her idea ..", Mina stared critically at the pictures and for a few seconds neither said anything.

"She's pretty .." Alice finally remarked and Mina just nodded.

"She is.."

Alice's gaze wandered carefully from the pictures to Mina, who was staring sadly down at the pictures.

"You know, I think this is what I like the most .." she suddenly mumbled and tapped an actually inconspicuous picture with her finger. It showed you both in your winter coats squinting your eyes against the flash of the selfie camera. It was also pretty blurry.

"I know it's nothing special .." Mina explained. "But the moment behind it was special ... It was New Year's Eve last year and shortly before midnight we climbed onto the roof of the skyscraper in which she lived at the time, to watch the fireworks from there. I remember exactly how she was angry when I forced her to come on the roof with me .. it was pretty cold ..

But I wanted it to be special when I propose to her .. "

Alice's eyes widened.

"Are you engaged?"

Mina shook her head and smiled sadly.

"We were engaged .. but she broke off the engagement three months ago until .. until things were settled .. You already know how complicated everything is at the moment .."

Alice looked worriedly into Mina's sad eyes before slowly nodding.

"I understand .." she said softly.

"You know, I really love her, but it's just so weird .." Mina pinched the bridge of her nose. "I met her a couple of years ago in the flower shop she worked and earned next to nothing and actually had a shitty life, and now she's been working as a professor for a college for a few months and is finally happy with that... and that is great, don't get me wrong, but we hardly have no time for each other, because now she also has to work long hours ... and it's like she pretends that it's all my fault .. "

"I'm sorry .." Alice muttered before stretching out her arms and pulling the woman into a hug. Alice felt that Mina was uncomfortable when she lay tense in her arms, but when she wanted to withdraw, Mina quickly put her arms around Alice and hugged her back. Alice put her head on Mina's shoulder and inhaled the woman's lavender perfume. They stayed that way for a few minutes, until Mina finally cleared her throat and withdrew.

"M'sorry .." she muttered without looking at Alice and Alice could see the tear marks on her face.

"We shouldn't talk about this anymore .."

Alice nodded quickly. "If I got too close to you, I'm sorry .. "

She followed Mina, who sat down on the couch and sat with enough space next to her.

"Now that you've heard my shit, I'd love to hear yours .." Mina said, giving Alice a subtle sideways look. Alice blinked a few times and thought about it for a moment. Actually, she didn't really know the woman and a divorce is not really a pleasant topic for an evening like this, but a few seconds ago Mina had stood in her arms and cried, so what was wrong with it?

"Uhm .. so I've been divorced for 2 months ..", she began and for the next two hours she told Mina the whole story with Phyllis Schlafly, the E.R.A. and that Houston had somehow opened her eyes and she'd been working on directory assistance ever since. She told Mina about her children and that she couldn't believe she was a grandma. And then she told her about Buck and that for a few years she had wondered if what she had with him was really what she wanted the rest of her life to be.

To be honest, Alice wouldn't normally have been so talkative if it wasn't because of the alcohol. She usually didn't drink, so a glass of Mina's expensive white wine was enough to get her drunk.

"You know, I only noticed now how bad that asshole was in bed ..." she laughed out loud and held onto Mina's thigh. "Well in any case our house belongs to him and I have to live with my daughter .."

Mina, who was just as sober as she was a few hours earlier, might have been a little overwhelmed by Alice's drunkenness, but somehow she found it incredibly cute.

"I'm sorry .." she muttered and Alice missed the worried look the woman was giving her.

"Yikes .." Alice suddenly made as she stared intently at the clock on the wall.

"Am I wrong or is it 14 minutes past midnight?"

Mina was shocked at her words and had to find out that it was actually that late.

"I should call your daughter, then she can pick you up ..".

"Oh let Evangeline sleep .." Alice waved her off.

"I can just sleep with you .. you know I like you, you're nice to me and don't treat me like the failure that I am. Even if you were pretty mean to me on the phone ..".

Alice grinned crookedly before leaning forward and dropping her head into Mina's lap. Mina winced and immediately got up to let Alice rudely fall back on the sofa. The drunk woman let out a low wail and looked reproachfully up at Mina.

"We should put you to bed .." she mumbled and pulled Alice into an upright position before she gently grabbed her arm and pulled her up the stairs with her.

"Uhm .. this is the guest room ...", Mina muttered as they stood in the door frame of the room. Alice stared into the beautifully decorated guest room, which was so much better than the sofa she'd slept on for months. But it wasn't what she wanted.

"You know, I can sleep with you..", she remarked and looked carefully at Mina, who seemed frozen.

"Okay .." Mina finally said before stepping out of the doorway and leading Alice into your bedroom.

A large king-size bed stood with its head against the wall and filled most of the room. One side of the bed faced the door. Alice' gaze ran to the bedside cabinet on this side of the bed and could see reading glasses, a pill box and a tube of some kind of cream next to a small lamp. She suspected that Mina slept here. The other nightstand was a lot messier. Unused kleenex were piled on top of each other while a pair of gold earrings lay on the lamp stand. On one corner of the cupboard was an empty glass, but it was definitely used. And then there was a big black hairbrush and either it was Mina's red hair that was caught in it or you had the same hair color as your girlfriend, which Alice found unlikely. On the wall next to this side of the bed was a large painting with some flowers on it. Alice's eyes wandered to a large ground plant that stood in the corner of the room. She noticed that she had seen beautiful flowers all over the house and she remembered Mina saying that you had once worked in a flower shop.

All in all it was a nice bedroom, but Alice only saw the best part when she had stepped completely into the room:

On the wall opposite the foot of the bed was a huge picture window, which allowed a view of the neighborhood and the beautiful night sky. That was the advantage if you didn't live in the city. Alice couldn't help but grin than her eyesremained hanging on the black grand piano, which crowned the bedroom on top of everything else.

"A piano in the bedroom?", She turned to Mina, grinning, who turned red for whatever reason.

"Y / N can play the piano and when I gave this one to her, she wanted it to be here ..", Mina explained and nervously began tapping the floor with her stick to a random rhythm.

"It's pretty cheesy, but you should hear her play ...".

Alice nodded quickly and put on a neutral expression again when she realized that Mina didn't like her grin.

"I imagine it would be nice to wake up in the morning and then hear the piano .." she muttered and looked back at the piano.

"Anyway ..", Mina said and held her stick tighter again.

"We're about the same size, you can have my nightgown if you want ..".

Alice turned back to her and gave the woman a grateful smile.

"That would be nice..".

Mina only nodded shortly before she left the room, only to come back a minute later in a lavender nightgown.

"I'm going to change in the bathroom while you can do this here ..", she explained as Alice took the nightgown and mumbled a little "thank you".

And less than 5 minutes later Alice, who was actually still drunk, was lying in bed next to a completely stranger and, like Mina, stared at the ceiling in silence. And yet she would have preferred nowhere and it was the first evening in weeks that she could fall asleep without any worries.

---------------------

Contrary to Mina's guess, the next morning hadn't been weird at all. Actually nothing special had happened, but Mina had been worried about Alice's drunkenness, but the woman had been kind as always.

And while everything was fine between Alice and her, she worried about what was between her and you. She felt incredibly guilty and could never have told you that a strange woman had slept in your bed. Mina knew that Alice was way too innocent to think anything about it when she and Mina shared the bed, but you didn't know Alice and you would never understand.

Miss Venable couldn't deny that the brunette had turned her head. Alice was so gentle, it was almost impossible to feel uncomfortable in her presence and Mina finally had someone who understood her and who showed her compassion.

And when you came home on Sunday night and she pushed you right against your front door to kiss you passionately, she did that not only to show you how much she had missed you, but also to prove to herself that she still loved you . Because she did, but what she felt when she saw Alice confused her feelings and it scared her.

It was Thursday afternoon and Mina was on her way home. She had tried again and again over the past few days to show you how much she loved you, but for whatever reason, that only made it worse. At least you just seemed to get a little bit more bitter every day, and she couldn't explain why.

Mina let out an aggressive growl when she sounded the horn because the light turned green and the idiot in front of her stopped driving.

She had got out of work late and now had to hurry to get home, even if she didn't really want to go there. You'd only be disappointed again because she was late again.

Nervously, she drummed her fingers on the steering wheel as she drove home as fast as she could. She was almost in your street when she spotted none other than Alice on the pedestrian path and automatically her bad mood had flown away. Mina stopped next to Alice on the side of the road before pulling down the passenger door window to see Alice's surprised face.

"Jesus Mina .." Alice exclaimed, clutching her chest.

Mina raised an eyebrow and grinned.

"I thought church mice dont swear ..".

"Actually, I don't swear either .." Alice stammered. "But do you have any idea how scary it is when someone pulls up their car next to you?"

"So am I someone then?"

"No .. but .. you know what I mean ..".

Mina nodded curtly before leaning forward to open the passenger door.

"I guess, you want to go home?"

"Oh yes ..", Alice smiled gratefully at Mina before climbing into the car.

"So how are you Mina?" Alice asked after they had driven for a few minutes.

"M'fine ..", Mina mumbled and was well aware that she was lying.

"Good to hear .." Alice said, sounding in as good a mood as ever.

"How did Y / N find the book?"

Fuck.

Mina bit her lip.

"So uhm..I didn't give it to her..Y / N doesnt know you were with me .. "

"Oh ..", uttered the woman next to her and didn't sound that happy anymore.

"I may not be allowed to interfere, but I think you should talk to her .."

"About what?" Mina frowned.

"About how you feel .. Tell Y / N that you feel misunderstood and make it clear to her that it is not your fault ..".

Mina didn't answer and concentrated on driving again.

"You know, communication is the most important thing in a relationship, so talk to her, I think that might help .."

Great, thought Mina and bit the inside of her cheek. Talking about feelings, that was exactly her thing.

She stopped in silence next to Alice's daughter's green house.

"Thanks, Mina ..", Alice mumbled and wanted to open the car door to get out, but Mina stopped her by locking the whole car.

Alice turned to her in confusion before Mina grabbed her by the collar of her blouse, pulled her close and pressed her lips against Alice's.

Alice let out a shocked whimper and Mina immediately withdrew.

For a few seconds both women stared at each other. Alice looked totally overwhelmed and horrified, while Mina slowly realized what she had just done.

Without a word she opened the car doors and not a second later Alice jumped out of the car before running into the house.

A few minutes passed and Mina didn't move an inch. She stared at the street in front of her, trying to understand what had just happened.

All she wanted was to solve the problems between you and her and now she had kissed another woman. Damn it.

She let out a loud scream and hit the steering wheel before leaning forward to lean her forehead against it. A few more minutes passed while she cried against the leather. She hated being so emotional, right now when so many feelings were boiling in her at the same time and she couldn't define all of these things.

After she had calmed down a bit, she took a few deep breaths before starting the car and driving home.

"I'm home, baby .." she called in a thin voice after entering your house.

"Oh, finally ..", she heard you sigh before you appeared in the hallway. Your usual smile faded when you saw her and you frowned.

"What?" Mina asked nervously and chewed her lower lip.

"You have lipstick on your face ..", your voice sounded dark and made Mina nervous.

"Oh .. it must be smeared .." she said and smiled shakily.

"This is not your lipstick .."

Mina's smile froze and she stared at you.

"So you're really having an affair .." you growled and she could see tears glistening in your eyes.

"What the- Y / N..No ..", Mina's voice faltered as she watched you turn around and pointed with your finger to follow you before you led her into your study.

"If you're not having an affair, what is that ..", you opened one of your desk drawers and put a white lace bra on it.

"I found it under our bed and it can't be yours .. you're not wearing white underwear .."

Mina stared at Alice's bra hanging on your finger.

"Okay, how long?", You looked at her piercingly.

"I uhm- We dont-" Mina struggled for words and clung to her cane.

"You just can't be serious .." you yelled. "All I want is your affection and while I give everything to hang out with you, you fuck someone else?"

"I'm not having an affair, Y / N ..", Mina tried to calm you down and held up a hand.

"Oh, then explain to me why I find strange underwear under our bed and why your face is such a mess .. You know, you could have at least tried to hide the whole thing ..".

"Please let me explain ..", Mina chewed her lower lip and briefly considered what to say.

"Well I know you from the directory assistance ..-"

"Ohh, phone sex..",  you interrupted her and raised an eyebrow.

"What the hell, no y / n ..", Mina hissed.

"It turned out that she lives in the neighborhood and then she was here on Saturday and slept here, more not .."

"More not? Are you kidding me?", You spat and ran your hair through. "You let this stranger sleep in my bed and you don't tell me about it? .."

Mina didn't know how to answer it, so she just kept silent.

"Did you have sex?" You asked as you crossed your arms and chewed your lower lip.

"She never could, she-"

"Okay, I'll ask differently ..", you pinched the bridge of your nose.

"Did you want to have sex with her?"

Mina stared at you with wide eyes. In her mind she traveled back to Saturday night when she had been lying in bed next to Alice and staring at the ceiling. She remembered it well, how disgustedt she was of herself, but all she wanted to do at the moment was bend over the innocent woman to do the dirtiest things to her. Things Alice didn't even dare to dream of. All she wanted was to hear the desperate whimpering of the women and how she shouted her name.

But Mina could never have done that, partly because her loyalty was yours and partly because Alice was far too innocent for something like that.

"Wow .." you mumbled when she didn't answer.

"And then that bitch kissed you today ...?"

"Don't call her that ..", Mina defended Alice. "And besides, I kissed her ..".

"Oh..That's even better ..." you screamed as tears ran from your eyes.

"Congratulations Wilhemina, something like that is called an affair ..".

Angrily you threw the bra at Mina before you ran past her back into the hallway. Mina followed you and watched sadly as you packed your handbag with simple things.

"I'm going to see my mother .." you explained without looking at her while you put on your jacket. "I have to think about a few things ... I have no idea how long I'll be gone ... I also have no idea if I'll ever come back ...".

That was the last thing you said before you ran out of your house and left her with all the guilt.

-----------------------

You spent three weeks with your mother. Three long weeks of thinking about everything that had happened. You loved Mina so much, and the fact that there was probably someone else almost killed you. And actually you hadn't meant to come back to her, no matter that all your things were still in her house, but you were too scared that you would then have to see how she got over you and went on with her life.

After all, it was your mother who persuaded you to go to Mina to talk to her.

And now you stood in front of the door of your house and at least from the outside it looked exactly as you had left it. You bravely raised your hand to the door to knock gently on it.

And when Mina opened the door a minute later, you couldn't help but stare at her. You thought you looked like shit, but Mina topped it all. The actually proud woman was just a pile of misery when she opened the door for you that day. The red hair curled untidily over the fabric of her pajamas as she trembled on her stick. She was obviously in pain and probably hadn't taken her pills, something you usually reminded her of. You looked carefully into her face, which seemed even paler than usual, and noticed how she squinted her eyes against the sunlight, she didn't seem to have left the house for a long time.

For a moment you both stared at each other and you felt guilt creep up inside you.

"Can I come in?" You finally asked and looked carefully into her cloudy eyes that were staring down at you. Mina nodded slowly.

"It's your home ..." she muttered before stepping out of the doorway and hobbling into the living room. Without hesitation you ran after her after the door had closed behind you. You sat down next to Mina, who was staring into the empty fireplace, on the couch and also stared at the fireplace, but your attention was focused on the photos on the mantelpiece.

"You didn't take your pills .." you mumbled and she just hummed in agreement.

"..uhm, how are you?" you tried again before carefully looking at her from the side.

"M'great .." she muttered.

"Okay.."

"And how are you?" She asked while she was still staring into the fireplace.

"I'm great too."

Mina snorted.

"So we're both liars."

You ignored her comment and got to the real reason you came.

"Okay Mina, uhm i dont know- So about this woman .. I don't know what you had or just didn't have with her ..-"

"I had nothing with her ..", she interrupted you with a growl.

"You understand that I can understand that pretty badly?", You bit your lower lip and watched as Mina shook her head.

"I think you should get to know her .." she muttered and you frowned.

"So are you still in contact with her?"

Mina shrugged her shoulders.

"You should get to know her," she repeated.

"Okay .." you raised both hands in surrender. "Tell me when and where and I'll be there ..".

"Are you coming home then?" She whispered as she finally turned away from the fireplace and her injured eyes met yours.

"I .. I don't know ..", you stammered. "Please let me get to know this woman first .."

Mina nodded just before she got up and left the living room.

"What are you doing?" You called after her, confused.

"I'll call her .. "she muttered.

Your eyes widened.

"She's not coming here now, is she?"

"No ..", Mina called from the hallway. You didn't answer and after a few seconds you heard her talking softly to someone before she came back into the living room and stood in the doorway.

"You will meet her tomorrow in the café next to the library ..", she explained.

"Tomorrow I have to work late .."

"I know .." she said. "That's why you don't meet until 6 pm .."

"Okay .." you nodded briefly and stared at her for a few seconds.

"Uhm, I actually wanted to take some clothes with me .. For three weeks I've had to wear the shit my mother still had from me .."

"It's your home..", Mina replied shortly as she again clutched her stick with both hands.

You jumped up from the sofa to run past her up the stairs. In your dressing room you quickly packed a few clothes in an old sports bag before you turned around and actually wanted to go again, but then the white bra of this woman caught your eye, which was lost in the window sill. You knew stuffing that stupid thing in your gym bag might not be a good idea, but you would do anything to break the owner of this bra, for something to do with your girlfriend.

You ran back down the stairs where Mina was waiting for you in the hallway.

"I should go now .." you muttered as she stared at you expectantly. She nodded sadly.

"Uhm..Can I hug you?" She asked quietly and looked at you carefully.

"uh..of course ..", you nodded slowly before suddenly finding yourself in her arms again. She hugged you so tight that you were afraid you would suffocate. Her red hair tickled your face and for the first time in three weeks you could inhale her lavender perfume while she clung to you like her life depended on it.

"I am so sorry ..", she whispered and you swallowed when you felt guilty again.

"I should go now .." you repeated and withdrew from her arms.

She just nodded before you stumbled to the front door.

"Uhm..Y / N ..", she called after you when you were already out the door. You turned back to her and looked at her questioningly.

"Yes?"

"Alice didn't do anything wrong, so please don't kill her tomorrow ..".

You nodded just before turning to go to your car.

Alice.

--------------

"Damn .." you cursed as you nervously stared at your watch.

18:23

You parked your car in the library parking lot and walked briskly to the café.

Your gaze wandered through the almost empty room. Two men were sitting at a table and playing chess, an old woman was sitting in a corner and drinking coffee, and then your gaze was fixed on the graceful figure of a woman who was sitting with her back turned to you. It has to be her, you thought as you stared at her hazel hair curled up on a pastel colored blouse.

You got a little nervous when you approached her from behind.

"Uhm..Alice ..?" You asked and the woman winced slightly before turning to you and staring into her friendly eyes.

"You must be Y / N .." she said with a bright smile and got up.

"Uhm..ja .." you mumbled with a frown before you sat down across from her.

"I'm sorry ..I'm late .."

"Oh its okay .." Alice waved her hand before she sat down again. "Mina told me about your work .."

"Did she?", You looked at her confused and she just hummed in agreement.

You used the next few seconds to take in the woman in front of you and understood what Mina had meant. Alice looked so harmless and didn't fall into the category of the horny neighbor slut at all.

You cleared your throat and pointed with your index finger at the cup in front of you.

"What's this?"

"Tea," Alice said curtly. "She told me that you drink tea .."

The furrow on your forehead only got a little deeper as you pulled your eyebrows together a little further.

"She seems to have told you a lot about me .."

"I also know that you play the piano .." Alice replied, sounding kind of proud.

"She had to explain the piano in our bedroom .." you growled darkly as you remembered that this woman had slept in your bed.

"Y / N, she loves you .." she said and looked at you piercingly.

"I'm not sure about this.."

"Okay .." Alice sighed before starting to tell you the whole story from her point of view. How Mina had called her directory assistance late at night, how they met by chance in the library and how she ended up at your home on Saturday evening.

You listened to her attentively without interrupting her and with everyoneSentence made you feel a little worse because everything she said made sense.

"You must know, I never kissed a woman before and- you know ..." Alice muttered, staring at the table.

"And I thought it was a sin all my life and when Mina kissed me I wasn't really happy at first. You know, I was with her on a Tuesday two weeks ago to talk to her about it and she was really sad..- "

"Did she tell you she loves you?" You interrupt her.

"She-" Alice's voice faltered. "She apologized and said she was confused .."

You stared at her in silence.

"I don't want to offend you, Y / N, but Mina feels totally misunderstood by you .. She tries to do everything right and you reject her .. As if it was her fault that she has to work so hard .. And even if she doesn't seem like anyone that gets involved with something like that, she feels totally terrible about it all .. You didn't see how she cried when I was with her that Tuesday .. "

You looked at Alice sadly when you understood what she meant.

"Damn I'm such an idiot .." you muttered, rubbing your hair.

"There's something else, Y / N .." Alice sat up straight before continuing.

"When I was with her on Tuesday, I kissed her again ..".

Her words made you freeze.

"You did what?"

"You already understand me .." Alice said, looking at each other nervously.

"Did she kiss you or did you kiss her?"

"I kissed her."

"Okay .." you frowned.

"She loves you .." Alice repeated, putting her hand on yours.

Tears stung your eyes.

"But she loves you too ..", you croaked as you felt warm tears running down your face. Alice reached out her hand to wipe the tears from your face.

"Maybe .." she said softly. "But you mustn't be mad at her for that, it's not her fault .. Mina and I don't have an affair or anything, she loves you too much for that .."

"And do you love her?"

Alice thought for a few seconds before answering.

"I don't know to be honest .. This is all new to me, if you get what I mean .."

You nodded slowly and thought for a moment about everything she had just told you.

"I uhm .. thanks for trying to explain everything to me .." you finally said.

The woman in front of you smiled gently before taking her hand back.

"I hope you don't hate me now or anything.."

"Oh no!" You shouted loudly. "You are really kind .."

"Thank you," Alice muttered, her eyes shining a little more.

You stared at her for another moment and you could totally understand that Mina found this little sunshine attractive.

"Uhm by the way .." you started and reached into your handbag.

"I uhm .. I brought your bra .."

You put the bra on the table and pushed it over to the woman.

"Thank you .." Alice mumbled embarrassed and blushed, which made you grin.

She was really cute.

And that was your first "date" with Alice. Although one would call this educational talk less than a date. That same evening you drove back home and by home you meant Mina and not your mother's house.

The following months were more than overwhelming for you, Mina and Alice. Mina and you both applied for less working time at your work, which you also received and you had more time for each other.

That wasn't what overwhelmed you so much, the problem was, that it was pretty difficult for all 3 of you to come to terms with how you felt about each other.

After all, Mina got along best with it because she was the one of you who had been confronted with it the longest.

For her sake you accepted her love for Alice and began to meet the brunette more often and at some point you had to find out that you too were hopelessly in love with Alice.

Alice struggled with it though. The mere fact that she was in love with one woman scared her and then there were two. It was pretty hard for her to put aside all of her lesbian advantages and what her church said about you. Fortunately, Alice's children had different opinions and were glad that their mother was happy again after the divorce.

You and Mina were a little afraid of Alice's extended family, but they had all been nice to you and there was almost nothing better for you than to take care of Alice's grandchildren.

It took a while, but finally Alice also managed to get rid of her inhibitions and give herself completely to you.

And sometimes when you wake up between the two of them, when Mina had her arms wrapped around you from behind and when Alice was cuddled with her head to your chest and you were wondering how all this was even possible, you were probably the happiest person on earth at the same time.

And all you needed for that was the little sunshine in your arms while the red hair of your beautiful protector tickled your face.

[amwritesitall]

How the Sarahs (AHS, Alice, Harriet, Mildred) React to You Wanting a Baby

Masterlist

@cordelia-winters-fan said: Hc for how Sarah's characters react to you wanting a baby?

Billie Dean Howard

Billie never saw herself as the motherly type

But once you bring up the idea one night while the two of you are lying in bed together, she can’t stop thinking about it

She’s not sure if you’re being serious, but she finds herself thinking about the idea every single day at random times

She sees families together as the two of you are out and she can’t help but imagine what you and hers would look like

A couple weeks later she brings it up again as the two of you are getting ready for bed

“Do you really want to have a baby with me?” Billie asks causing you to pause what you were doing

You reassure her that you were serious

“Then let’s have a baby, (Y/N)”

“Really?!”

“Really,” she says smiling softly.

Lana Winters

Lana isn’t big on kids

And especially on her being the one to carry the child after everything with Thredson

She wouldn’t tell you no, but she would want to have a long conversation about it

“Oh, ok. Well, let’s sit and talk about it”

She thinks you would be a great parent, but she’s worried about herself

With her it would be a series of serious conversations

Ultimately she’d agree to have a kid with you after you both talk everything through

Cordelia Goode

Starts crying

But in a good way

Pulling you close and hugging you tightly in an almost bone crushing hug

“I would love to have a baby with you, dear”

Would immediately get to work trying to find a way for you and her to have a baby whether it be magically or not

“You know we don’t have to start on this right away?”

“I’m not waiting a second longer!”

And off the Supreme goes, searching through every book in the house

Bette and Dot Tattler

Bette would be super excited

“Of course we want a baby with you!”

Dot is calmer with her approval of it

Instead she smiles and squeezes your hand

“We’d love to have a baby with you, darling”

Bette would insist that they start reading baby books even before anyone is pregnant

Dot pretends to be annoyed by this, but she is secretly completely on board with the idea

Your girls are so sweet and excited by the idea

Sally McKenna

Angst? Angst.

Most likely would laugh in your face

“Oh wait you’re being serious?”

Seeing that you’re not kidding, she softens a bit

“Babe, I don’t think that’s possible”

Tears start to fall down your cheeks and Sally pulls you into her embrace

Hugging you long into the night

“I’m so sorry”

Audrey Tindall

Audrey likes kids within reason

She loves babies when they are not crying

And when they have clean diapers

And when they aren’t making messes

“Promise me I won’t have to change any smelly diapers”

“We can talk about that later, love”

“No I want it in writing”

“Maybe”

“(Y/N), I’m serious”

Audrey pouting

You kissing away her pout

“We’re having a baby!”

This causes Audrey to smile and forget about the thoughts of stinky diapers for now

Ally Mayfair Richards

Ally loves being a mother and she loves the thought of having a child with you

The only problem is that Ally is extremely busy with her career

So the two of you have to wait until the timing is right

The two of you often talk about the idea

Planning for the perfect timing to add another addition to the family

When Ally gets stressed with everything going on in her life, she likes to think about her future with you, Oz, and you and hers future child

Thinking about such a happy future calms her down

When the time comes, Ally and you have every detail planned down to a tee

Wilhemina Venable 

Wilhemina stays silent once you’ve told her

“Mina?” you ask breaking her silence

She looks up at you and you see tears falling

You carefully reach up and wipe away her tears, “Are you alright? I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“You didn’t upset me, my dear,” she says before softly smiling at you, “I just never thought anyone would want to start a family with me.”

You embrace the woman reassuring her, “I would love to start a family with you.”

“Then let’s do it, my dear,” she says hugging you back tightly

Alice Macray

Alice loves the idea

She loves being a mother and she loves the idea of the two of you having a child together

She is super excited when you suggest it

“Let’s do it right now!”

You chuckle, “Well, it’ll take some planning, but we can start planning now”

Every night, Alice has you read to her everything that the two of you can get your hands on about the process until the day comes

“Alice honey we’ve already read this one”

“What if we missed something! Let’s read it again”

You kiss her forehead before beginning to read to her

Harriet Hayes

You wait to talk about the idea of starting a family with Harriet until after she has stopped working on Studio 60

Harriet was still working but was working on different projects that gave her more time at home

Now finally seemed to be the time for you two to start a family

You bring of the idea over dinner one night

If you had suggested this years ago, Harriet would have been opposed

But now it seemed like you and her were finally in the perfect spot to start a family

She loved the idea

You and her were financially sound, she wasn’t working nearly as much as she used to be, and she was ready to start a family with you

The two of you began looking at your options that night

Mildred Ratched

Mildred never really pictured herself as a mother

She never even pictured herself settling down with someone since she has always been focused on her brother

So she wasn’t opposed to the idea, but it took her a bit of time to process it

You reassure her that she would be a lovely mother

And that you would have each other to support each other every step of the way

Ultimately the idea of having a family with you has her crying happy tears and covering your face in kisses

-

You might like:  “We’re Having a Baby!” or  Billie Dean Howard as a Mother Would Include

[adripaulson]

Masterlist ✨

Billie Dean Howard :

The rest of your life

A night of fun

Cordelia Goode

A Brightest light

A little help

Alice Macray 

Put your head on my shoulder

Ally Mayfair-Richards

Lena Luthor

By my side

Sweet sweet lena

[billiedeanhwrd]

masterlist 🕊

billie dean howard

as long as i am with you, there's no place i'd rather be

happy new year, my love

you're my lobster

mind is just as frail as it's frame, you know i'd leave it alone

cordelia goode

when i fell you were there, with your hands in the air

the morning after nye

make it taste like love

you make me feel like a teenager in love

ally mayfair-richards

i only want you

wilhemina venable

i know that you never sleep

other

sarah's characters as rhobh quotes

[duchessfics]

...Hey 😅 Long time no post. I wanted my first post to be a fic, but tbh a lot has happened in my life since January and I’m still trying to sort things out. I’m sorry if that disappoints you and understand your frustration at the lack of content. But I want to put out things I’m proud of and I need more time.

I did think about something that would be fun although I don’t know if anyone would be interested. I’m not sure if people still do this, but I remember there were certain blogs where if you send a little about yourself they’ll ship you with a certain character in a fandom. So I thought I could do that with Sarah Paulson characters. If you are interested in that sort of thing I’ll open up the submit a post feature so your entry can be longer. And here are just a couple of helpful hints to get more specific results:

Include hobbies/interests, hopes for the future, small quirks you have, favorite things (food, drinks, animals, etc.)

If you feel comfortable describe yourself a little. But don’t share private info or anything you aren’t comfortable with. This is only for fun so if you just want a general ship that’s fine. It’s only if you want to describe for example your eye color, hair color, distinctive features, etc. But within your comfort zone.

And finally if you would like NSFW aspects please clarify in your submission. My assumption will be that unless explicitly stated otherwise the description will be sfw.

If that interests you please feel free to interact. I have missed interacting on here and if I haven’t responded know I’ve read your kind words and it means a lot. Sending lots of love to you all 💖

[grilledcheeseandguavajelly]

“Make Your Own Kind Of Music” -- Alice Macray

A/N: I can’t get Alice’s impending transformation out of my head, so this happened. Big huge thanks to @thatgirlintheleatherjacket​ for convincing me not to give up on this and dealing with my whirlwind of emotions. Also please bear with me, I wrote this in under 24 hours and there are probably typos. 

**This was written after having only seen the first three episodes of Mrs. America, so it is inevitably canon divergent**

Words: ~3,700

~Enjoy!~

“I think you should wear the pink one. You know how much I love it on you.”

Alice smiled at the sentiment, pulling the blush blazer from its hanger. 

“Well, alright then.” 

She slid it on, tugging at the sleeves and tucking it around her skirt. Buck was silent as she walked to her vanity, eyes following her every move. And when she felt the heat of them, she hastily changed the subject. 

“Remember that that pot roast is in the oven and should be done in about fifteen minutes. The children should be doing their homework, and they can put themselves to bed. Do you need anything else before I go?”

He hummed, ogling her from the doorway. “No no. It’s just that Phyllis is here to see you.”

And right on cue, she breezed past Buck into the room. 

Alice glanced up from her vanity. “I apologize for not greeting you at the door, it’s just that I’m in a bit of a rush.”

Phyllis waved her off, seemingly distracted by the cleanliness of her room. She slid her finger over the fireplace mantle, flicking the dust off. “I only came by to return the books you had leant me.” A pause. “Where are you going?”

“Oh just a quick appointment,” Alice said smoothly, checking her hair in the mirror. “Where are the books?”

“Downstairs,” Phyllis said absently, walking around the room and testing multiple surfaces with her finger. “What kind of appointment?” 

Alice swallowed. “Oh, did I say appointment? I meant a family obligation. I apologize.” 

Again.

“A family obligation? Isn’t Buck going with you?”

Alice waved her off. “No no, it’s just a home visit.”

“Oh,” Phyllis quirked her brow, picking at a chip on her windowsill. “Well I’m more than happy to stay over and take care of dinner, if you need the extra help.”

Alice forced a smile, straightening out her blazer. “I think Buck can handle the children for one night.”

“Well, let’s hope so, since you’re not giving him much of a choice.”

Alice turned, forcing herself to take a breath as she rummaged for her earrings. “Was there anything else?”

She didn’t miss the way Phyllis hesitated, watching her eyes narrow in the vanity mirror. 

“No no,” she said quickly, covering her pause as she straightened. “I just thought I’d drop those vile things back to you. I almost sent them off with the garbage. No need having more women getting nonsense ideas. But I suppose you should be the one to make that decision.”

“Well yes, they are my books.” Alice turned back around, careful to hold her smile in place as she walked toward the door. She stood in the doorway, checking her posture. “Thank you again for returning them, I’d hate to take time out of your busy day.”

“Oh, well… Anything for my biggest booster.”

A light hand on her elbow and a kiss to her cheek, and Phyllis was gone. 

And Alice hated herself for almost wanting to follow. 

~~~ 

Alice paused in front of the large door, tugging at the hem of her blazer as her mind flipped back on itself for the hundredth time in the short ten minutes it had taken her to walk across town to the building. 

She shouldn’t be here. She wanted to be here. She shouldn’t do this. She wanted to do this. What would Phyllis think? Why did she care? What would her family think? Her friends, her son... 

But before she could remind herself that she was only here because she had been invited, reminded herself that it really didn’t mean anything at all, two women pushed past her to the door, giggling between themselves.

“Are you here for the meeting?” one of them asked, mouth pulled open in a huge smile. 

Alice nodded carefully, looking between the woman and the handle of the door. “Yes, I’m-“

There was a hand on her arm, friendly, gentle, and Alice flashed back to all of the times Phyllis had smoothed a hand down her arm, over her elbow, pulling her up and keeping her steady. 

But she was alone here. Entirely alone. 

She couldn’t do this. This was all a huge mistake. 

Alice had just managed to swallow around her fear and form some sort of excuse, when the door pulled open and she was hit with a wall of sound.

Everyone was bustling, everyone was moving. And everything was so colorful.

She blinked at the instant panic that clawed its way up her throat, smoothing down her blazer. And then there was a blonde woman in front of her, a huge smile in place.

“Alice?”

She managed a nod. 

“I’m so glad you made it! I’m Jill, the one who sent you the letter?”

Alice tried for a smile, fighting the way her lips wobbled with nerves. “Oh! Oh well, it is so nice to meet you, Jill. I appreciate the invitation. It—“

And then Jill was being pulled away by a woman with piles of paper balanced in her arms. She mouthed an apology as she was dragged across the room, and Alice smiled softly and nodded. Her nose twitched as she watched the room. She was here. She had done the hardest part. She had arrived. 

But now she was alone. 

It occurred to her as she watched all of the women bustle around, laughing and joking and working around one another, that she hadn’t had the burden of making new friends in quite some time. Not without Phyllis there to guide her and encourage her and prompt her forward. 

And right now, the idea of it seemed practically impossible. 

Alice had just decided to leave, finding the doors and keeping her eyes on them to hold herself balanced. Her fingers played over her blazer, smoothing over the rough fabric as she took a few steps towards the exit. 

Another hand on her arm.

“Leaving so soon?”

It was one of the girls that had greeted her in the hallway. 

“Oh, I—“ Alice tried, tripping over her words as she plastered a polite smile on her face. “I just thought that maybe this wasn’t the best idea, and—“

She cut off then, unable to find a rational ending to her sentence. 

She wanted to be here. She wanted to learn. She wanted to be more than she was supposed to be. More than just a housewife. More than everything. 

The girl in front of her gave her a kind smile. “I think you’ll like the talk today. If you just stay for a few more minutes, it should get started.” 

Alice found herself nodding before she knew what was happening. 

The girl squealed. “Oh yay! Perfect! Alright well, sit wherever you want. There’s coffee over there,” she pointed past a group of women huddled around a table, “and Gloria brought doughnuts!”

Alice blinked. “Gloria? As in…?”

“Mhm! She should be around here somewhere…” The girl trailed off as she looked around the room. “She’s the speaker today.” 

Phyllis’s voice in Alice’s head stopped her automatic response, making her pause. Scoffing over Gloria Steinem’s glasses at the salon. All of those words she had pushed into her newsletters. How sad it was that she didn’t have a husband to fulfill that hole in her life. 

“She wouldn’t be scrounging for validation if she had a family who needed her.”

“Are you alright?” the girl asked, and Alice shook her head out. 

“Yes, of course. I apologize. Thank you so much for all of your help.”

The girl nodded and made to leave, but then a shorter woman walked past and the girl grabbed at her arm. 

“This is Flo, she’s your go to for any kind of food or drink or… anything really.” 

Alice giggled, holding her hand out. “Hi, I’m Alice.”

And the smile that she received was so warm, Alice thought she might melt. “Flo,” the woman said, shaking her hand. “A pleasure to meet you.”

Alice nodded just as someone shoved their way between them, four doughnuts stuffed in her mouth as she muttered. 

“Damnit Betty, watch where you’re going!” Flo shouted, rolling her eyes fondly and pulling Alice over to the table. “I’d suggest you take a doughnut before Friedan eats them all.”

A shock went through Alice. “Friedan? Betty Friedan? That was her?”

Flo laughed, nodding. “Real and in the flesh.” She pushed the plate of doughnuts toward Alice. “Now eat.” 

She almost grabbed one. She almost did. But then she paused, Phyllis’s voice nagging in the back of her head. 

“I shouldn’t,” Alice said softly, offering a sad smile and shaking her head. “Thank you, though.”

But Flo only raised an eyebrow. “Honey. Take a damn doughnut. What are you afraid of?” 

Who was she afraid of. 

So she did, taking a small, polite bite. She hummed around a moan, relishing the sweetness. It had been entirely too long since she had allowed herself to indulge in something so delicious just for the sake of it. 

“They’re delicious,” she said, covering her mouth and trying to swallow the sugar down. “Are they homemade?”

And the look Flo gave her, brows pushed up incredulously, had Alice wanting to crawl back into her shell. “No baby, they’re from the store. You know it’s not a woman’s job to bake everything, right? There are people who get paid to do that.” 

“I think having homemade things are nice.” 

Bella slid by, throwing a “You also thought Phyllis was nice” over her shoulder. 

Alice spun around, hand coming up to her chest, but the woman was gone before she could manage a response. 

And as she turned, eyes searching the room, they landed on a woman who stuck out like a gem. 

Tall, long hair, dressed impeccably modern, aviators tucked over her ears as she nodded along with a conversation. 

Gloria Steinem. 

But it barely had time to register before people were pushing and someone was clapping and shouting for people to find a comfortable place to sit. 

Flo walked over to a nearby desk, shoving a harsh woman out of her chair before catching Alice’s eye and patting the top of it. 

So for the next twenty minutes or so, Alice sat on the hard edge of a desk, watching the other women sprawled out on the floor and envying their pants and light blouses and their sheer level of comfort. Comfort in their clothes, their friendships, their lives.  

And as Alice listened to Gloria talk, all she could think about was Phyllis. 

About how Phyllis talked. Lectured. So polished, refined, proper. Everything she stood for. Everything Alice had longed to be for so long. 

And how Gloria talked, so raw, so unfiltered. With “fuck”s and “shit”s and crude language.

The first time the word had dropped from her mouth, Alice had flinched and Flo had laughed. But after that, every one of those vulgar words made her sit up straighter, hold her head higher. Built an empowerment in her that she didn’t know she was capable of. 

Gloria talked for what felt like forever. What felt like three seconds. And Alice clung to her every word. But then Betty stood up and folded an argument into her point, and as they hashed out their differences of opinions, Alice found herself locking her eyes anywhere but on them. 

She had never been one for conflict, but she felt especially uncomfortable about being witness to an argument that had clearly been brewing for some time, hashed out over what had to have been multiple meetings. And everyone seemed to have something to say, jutting in and taking sides and calling people out by name. 

Alice pinned her eyes down on the desk, tracing the mess there and thinking absently that she should straighten it out for them, when something caught her eye. 

It was one of Phyllis’s newsletters, buried under a pile of papers. And some sort of liquid had been spilt on it, because the ink had bled across the page and dried, crumpled and misshapen.  

There was something about it, though. Something about the way that Phyllis’s face was disfigured, her smile morphed into something wicked and sickening, that made Alice almost grin. Phyllis wasn’t a queen here. She didn’t own these women. 

They owned themselves. 

~~~ 

Alice wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but after Gloria finished speaking, a large group of women swarmed around her, their questions rapid-fire. 

It started with a lot of “why did you decide to come” and “aren’t you that girl with the banana bread?” 

Jill had jumped in, answering a few questions for her and defending her to these women. But the more Jill talked, the more specific their questions became. Until Jill couldn’t answer for her anymore and Alice was trapped in a whirlwind of ethical questions that she didn’t know the answers to. 

She didn’t have Jill. She didn’t have Phyllis. She was left alone to fend for herself, and she was utterly ill-prepared. 

“How do you feel about abortion?”

“I- I’m not sure...?”

“How do you feel about gay rights?”

“I don’t know, I-“

“What about racial equality?”

She paused. 

Phyllis flashed through her mind, the smile that she had given Alice after letting her get pummeled by Frances. After lifting her up and stoking her ego and sending her to the ring to be slaughtered. For standing up for what she believed in. For standing up to that horrible, racist woman. 

So Alice said what she would have never been allowed to say with her own group of friends. What Phyllis would have breezed past and glossed over and shamed her for. She told the truth. 

“I think it’s important, and honestly I’m not sure why it’s still an issue.” 

There was a long pause, and Alice held her breath as the women around her exchanged looks. And then— 

“She’s one of us girls!” 

A cheer erupted from the group, and Jill patted her on the shoulder, beaming. 

“Somebody get her a button!” 

Alice blushed as someone leaned forward, pinning an ERA button to her blazer. And as she scrambled for something to say, Gloria smiled.

“Now you’re one of us.”

One of them. 

It felt good, being accepted. Making friends on her own. Making her own connections and deciding her own beliefs. Having a part of her life that was completely hers. Not Phyllis’s. Not her husband’s. Not her children’s. 

Utterly and entirely hers. 

But just as she made to say something, to thank them and tell them how much their gesture meant, a song filled the room. 

One of them started it. She didn’t know which one. But suddenly there was a tune threading through the air — something familiar, but words that she didn’t recognize. 

“Mine eyes have seen the glory of the flame of women’s rage,” 

And as soon as another voice joined, Alice pinpointed them, whirling on the sound. 

“Kept smoldering for centuries, now burning in this age.”

Soon a group of four of them huddled in a corner and flicking through papers joined in, the sound breaking through the chatter and filling the room.

“We no longer will be prisoners in that same old gilded cage,”

And on the last line all of them joined in, Gloria passing around cups as she sang.

“That’s why we’re marching on!” 

Alice found herself watching Gloria carefully, the way her smile lit up the room as she sang. How genuinely the words fell out of her mouth, with the crinkle of her eyes and the fire behind them. 

She was jolted out of her daze by Flo’s hand on her arm. 

“Come on, Alice. Sing with us!”

She held her hand up placatingly, adjusting her blazer and offering a small smile. “Oh, that’s alright. I— I don’t know this song.”

“It’s easy. Here, see?” she took Alice’s hands, looking her dead in the eye as she sang. “Move on over or we’ll move on over you. Move on over—“

“Or we‘ll move on over you,” Alice tried, nodding along with the gentle bouncing of her hands. The next line was the same as the first, and Flo smiled at her as she sang. But the next line changed, and Alice didn’t realize, and she messed up, and her hands slid from Flo’s. 

She shook her head out. “I can’t— I shouldn’t—“ 

But Flo’s smile never faltered. She didn’t acknowledge Alice’s slip up. All she did was nod and lead Alice over to a couch, sitting down next to her and placing a hand on her shoulder. 

“That’s alright. Just listen then, okay? Just listen.”

“You have told us to speak softly, to be gentle and to smile,”

Alice found her eyes wandering around the room again, at the way everyone was singing in unison. The way their arms were wrapped around each other, glasses raised high as they laughed and cheered. 

“Expected us to change ourselves with every passing style.”

Alice tugged at her blazer again, swallowing roughly. Phyllis had picked it out for her. Was insistent that Buck would love it. And she had been right. But Alice hated it.

“Said the only work for women was to clean and sweep and file. That’s why we’re marching on!”

Something hit Alice like a brick, and she realized that she didn’t want to be wearing her blazer anymore. Didn’t want to conform to someone else’s definition of perfect. Of a woman. So she stood as the chorus came around again, unbuttoning it one snap at a time. 

“Move on over, or we’ll move on over you,” Alice tried, singing softly under her breath as she unpinned her ERA button, fitting the pin into her silk shirt instead and not caring if it pulled the fabric. “Move on over, or we’ll move on over you.”

She could feel the eyes on her, Flo’s from the back, Jill’s from her right. And she met Gloria’s eyes across the room, watching her like a hawk as she folded her jacket and hung it over her arm. 

“Move on over, or we’ll move on over you,” Alice sang again, a little bit louder this time, and Gloria nodded as she smirked.

“For women’s time has come.”

Someone nudged Gloria from the side and broke their eye contact, Gloria grinning at the woman and pulling herself off the wall to join a small group by the door. She swayed with them, singing the next part loudly. Almost baring her teeth. 

“It is we who’ve done your cooking, done your cleaning, kept your rules.”

A woman slammed her cup down, making Alice jump as she screamed over everyone else. 

“We gave birth to all your children and we taught them in your schools.”

Phyllis flashed through Alice’s mind again, her perfect figure, her six children. How easily she lost the baby weight. Like it was her job. 

And then Jill was next to her, pulling the blazer from Alice’s arms and threading their fingers together.

“We’ve kept the system running but we’re laying down our tools,” she sang softly, tugging Alice over to the group at the front of the room with a smile.

“That’s why we’re marching on!” they all shouted in unison, cheering and taking a drink.

And Alice thought that she was starting to get the hang of it, taking a sip from Jill’s cup as the chorus came around again. 

It didn’t take long for her eyes to find Gloria in the large group, surrounded by women and singing loudly as she laughed. Alice tracked her glasses, her long hair, her pants. And when she realized that Gloria was staring right back at her, she flushed a deep red. 

Alice ducked her head as the next verse started, reaching to tug at her blazer before realizing it wasn’t there. She didn’t have anything to hide behind. Nothing to straighten, nothing to perfect. 

Just herself, open and vulnerable and unprotected.

“You think that you can buy us off with crummy wedding rings,”

Alice’s thumb brushed her ring absently, Buck flitting through her mind before she brushed him away.

“You never give us half the profit that our labor brings.” 

And then it was Phyllis, pushing her up to the podium and praising her accomplishments, and then sticking her out on the front lines to do all of her dirty work. Something hard settled over Alice’s heart, and she pursed her lips as she nodded with the next line.

“Our anger eats into us, we’ll no longer bend to kings,”

“That’s why we’re marching on,” Alice said, her voice firm. Because she was finished. She was finished bending and bowing and changing who she was based on what someone else decided she should be. She was finished. 

Gloria’s arm was around her before she knew what was happening, squeezing Alice to her as everyone sang the next part loudly. Angrily. 

“We have broken through our shackles, now we sing a battle song.”

And they all stomped in unison, raising their cups.

“We march for liberation and we’re many thousands strong,”

Gloria shouted “millions” over the chorus of “thousands” and Alice couldn’t help but giggle, letting herself be jostled by the woman’s arm around her shoulders. Gloria looked down at her, beaming, and grabbed her hand. 

Someone one her other side grabbed her free hand and raised it in the air. Alice beamed. 

“We’ll build a new society, we’ve waited much too long.”

Gloria squeezed her hand.

“That’s why we’re—“ 

“Marching on!” Alice yelled loudly, earning a huge cheer from the group. 

And in that second, with everyone cheering for her, Alice found what she had been lacking this entire time. No. Not lacking. What had been suppressed within her, with every child she bore and every dinner she made and every curler she wore and every comment she swallowed. 

Her freedom. 

And when she sang the chorus one last time, practically screamed the words as anger and hurt and a need for justice boiled up inside of her, she felt free. She felt accepted. She felt heard. 

And maybe that wasn’t so bad after all. 

“For women’s time has come!” 

[cordeliasdarling]

~

alice macray is the type of woman you go to when you're in trouble. whether that's getting into an argument with someone or if you quite literally murdered someone. she is the one to go to, because our alice will always be there to talk over tea and banana bread

~

[lotties-ashwagandha]

NEVER HAVE I BEEN A BLUE CALM SEA (part 2 of ?)

pairing: alice macray x fem!reader

word count: 1290

notes and warnings: in my mind the record store is so aesthetic i need to see if i can find a pinterest pic that is similar to how i see it. TW: smoking, alcohol. 

summary: from the moment you saw her, you swore to give her everything... or at least give her a Woodie Guthrie album. 

You lit a cigarette as you listened to the ticking of the clock, counting the minutes until you could go home.

You weren’t really supposed to be smoking in the office, but then again you weren’t supposed to be in the office anyway, so it didn’t matter much what you did.

“What the fuck are you even doing?” You asked as you watched the man sitting at the desk beside you place spreadsheets into various folders. “That looks like hell.”

“I’m updating the annual costs of the diner and comparing that with the-”

“You know what, nevermind,” you stopped him, and he went back to his work, used to your irritability.

The man had a name, of course – his name was David, and he was one of the only bearable parts of your job. He worked as a bookkeeper for the diner that employed you, and he enjoyed his job just as much as you did.

David paused for a moment, adjusting his thick round glasses and turning back to you. “How was the interview yesterday? Do you expect good news from them?”

You shrugged. The day before you had interviewed for a journalist’s position at Ms Magazine. “I don’t know,” you said quietly, “it’s a hard place to get into.”

“Yeah, but with your writing skills? You’ll be just fine. They’d be dumb as hell not to take you.”

You whispered a quiet thank you and took another look at the clock. In another two minutes, you would be free… until tomorrow came and you would be right back at work, waiting for five o’clock once more and until you picked up another job that would give you a reasonable income until you became a journalist.

If you ever became a journalist.

Briefly, you considered quitting. There was no point in staying with this job if it made you miserable to this extent, if you weren’t even sure if you would ever be free of it.

Your mind wandered to the realization that most women your age were engaged or married, and some of them had even had a child by now. You knew how easy it would be to pick up any man off the street and marry him, to live the same life as everyone else you had grown up around, and your defiance gave you a small rush of pride.

This led you, somehow, to think of the woman you’d met only a week before in the record shop – she hardly left your mind, her dark eyes and unwavering smile. You wondered if Alice had given you as much thought as you’d given her, or if she had thought of you at all. Did she remember your name? If she saw you in the street, would she recognize you?

She said she would come back to the record store.

If you weren’t there, you might never see her again.

This was the icing on the cake, so it seemed. “David?” you asked.

“Hm?”

“I think I’m going to quit.”

He eyed you as if he expected you to know better than to quit your job with no other plans, yet he did not attempt to change your mind. “Don’t rob the cash register on your way out.”

You smirked, nodding. “We’ll see what happens.”

–

That night you sat in the storage room of the record shop with your brother. The two of you had made a habit of having a drink or two together whenever a new shipment of product came in, you helping him restock the shop, yet you often got distracted and only a third of the records would be put away.

You sat on top of a red mini fridge, your brother having stolen the random reclining chair he’d stuffed into the cluttered storage room a few months ago. You talked about nothing and everything, though after a few drinks you’d drifted into silence, the two of you lost in your own thoughts as cigarette smoke made the room just as hazy as your minds. A Simon and Garfunkel album played a few feet away, the song Mrs Robinson beginning to play.

“I quit my job today,” you whispered, and he didn’t respond for a moment.

“Did you get the job at Ms?”

“I don’t know. I was wondering if I could work here. Hell, I already do, in a way. It would just be nice to get paid for it.”

“When do you want to start?” he asked after a moment.

You grinned, thinking once more of Alice. “Tomorrow?” you saw him nod through the smoke, and it was settled. You began to sing along quietly to the song as it played. ‘It’s a little secret, just the Robinson’s affair – most of all, you’ve got to hide it from the kids.’

–

The next time you saw Alice Macray, who hardly left your mind, was four days after you started your new job at the record store.

You had been reading an issue of Ms Magazine as you sat behind the register, and when you heard the door open and looked up to see her enter, you almost fell off of your stool.

Your eyes met hers, and you could not help the grin that made its way to your lips, and you watched her expression illuminate as she stepped toward you.

“I told you I’d come back,” she said, and you took instant notice of the floral perfume she was wearing. She wore a beige and light blue plaid dress, and though it looked suspiciously similar to a table cloth, she looked ethereal in it. You could tell her hair was freshly styled, framing her face perfectly.

You laughed softly, slightly shocked to see her despite how much you’d yearned to, attempting to figure out what to say. “I’m glad you did. How did your daughter like the record?”

“She loved it, she almost cried… I came to thank you,” she rested her hand on top of yours for a moment, and you almost dropped dead from her mere touch.

Yet you did notice the ring on her finger, signifying that she was married, and it made your stomach drop.

She followed your gaze and removed her hand, yet her smile only faltered for the smallest of moments. “Are you free on Thursday for lunch? Around two o’clock?”

Unable to respond for a moment, you nodded, and she stole a notepad and pen from next to your magazine, writing down her address. She placed it before you on the open page of your magazine.

She drew in a breath as if she were going to say something, but she never did, leading you to prompt her.

“What is it?”

“You’re reading Ms?” she asked, treading carefully with every word and action, caught already in the gulf between who she was and who she wished to be.

“I am,” your heart raced as you answered – you knew this would either break any possibility of being near Alice, or it would bring you so much closer.

Alice chose her next words very, very carefully, caught as well in the gulf between you and Phyllis Schlafly, wishing dearly not to drown. She could not take either side completely, for to do so would lead her to abandon the other part of her life. “I’ve heard good things about the magazine,” she said in a fair tone. Neutrality, she knew, was the way to save herself.

You grinned, nodding, silently hoping that you would appear in an issue of it one day. “It’s full of brilliant women.”

“So,” she started abruptly, shifting in her stance, “I’ll see you Thursday?”

“Of course.”

And when she left, Heaven dissipated, and you were once more sitting behind the register.

-

chapters: three four five six

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taglist: @traumatisedfangirl

if you want to be added to my taglist, send me a message!!

[cabensonsgirly]

👼Home Is Wherever I'm With You (Alice Macray)[NSFW]👼

Alice Macray x Fem!reader

👼Part 2 of SP getting reader pregnant👼

👼Wordcount: 2714👼

👼Posted on AO3: Read Here👼

👼Content: Fluff, some angst, homophobia, Phyllis and Alice's husband are trash garbage, some smut, strap-on, wlw magic, pregnancy, Alice is an angel, mentions of religion.👼

👼There was one person who never left your side though, even if it meant they were put in the firing path of Phyllis, and that was Alice. She, in all her sweet innocence, didn’t understand why it was such a big deal that you happened to like women, surely if God didn’t want the “lovely lgbts” then he wouldn’t have created them. Alice was religious, went to church on Sundays, said grace before eating, prayed before bed, but she wasn’t the type to go around telling people that they were sinning or judge them because they weren’t religious, if anything, she just wanted people to be happy.👼

It had been a number of years since you had moved to a slightly more progressive part of town, ever since Phyllis found out that you had – as she put it – “homosexual inclinations” it was made very clearly that you were no longer welcome in that area. And because she ruled with an iron-fist, no one dared to speak out against her, even if they had said to you in private that you were still the same wonderful person they had always known.

There was one person who never left your side though, even if it meant they were put in the firing path of Phyllis, and that was Alice. She, in all her sweet innocence, didn’t understand why it was such a big deal that you happened to like women, surely if God didn’t want the “lovely lgbts” then he wouldn’t have created them. Alice was religious, went to church on Sundays, said grace before eating, prayed before bed, but she wasn’t the type to go around telling people that they were sinning or judge them because they weren’t religious, if anything, she just wanted people to be happy.

It had hurt when you moved because you had grown close with Alice and her kids, even if her husband harboured ill feelings towards you because you were a “dyke” and “we can’t let our children around that dyke, Alice” but she managed to calm him down enough so that you could still come around. But you hadn’t seen Alice and the kids much since moving, and you missed them something wicked. Yes you had spoken to them, mainly Alice, on the phone but it was brief and happened very rarely. You missed her. You missed them.

The days where she called you had you wanting them to last forever, you could wander around your home just listening to her talk about how things were going, how much she enjoyed her job, how the kids were doing in school. You found yourself feeling like a high schooler talking to their crush after school on the phone, laying down on your bed with the dumbest grin on your face. However, that grin changed to a shocked expression when you let slip how you feel about her. “Alice, fuck – sorry I know you don’t like swearing but… Alice, I love you so much and I miss you, I miss being around you and being with the kids. It’s been miserable not being able to see you, but-“ you hear a sharp intake of breath “I- I’m sorry, I have to go.” Before the line goes dead.

Seven months, twelve days, thirteen hours, and fifteen minutes it had been since that call and you hadn’t heard from her. You weren’t usually the type to count these things, even when you had important events to look forward to, you wouldn’t count down the days. You guess it was some form of way to torture yourself, counting the length of time since you fucked up one of the few good things you still had in life. She was radiant like an angel, put the beauty of the moon to shame, and you- you were like a horseman of the apocalypse, ruining everything you touched. Maybe that was a bit of an exaggeration, you haven’t ruined everything you touch but you certainly have relationship wise.

You had a few spare rooms in your house, you’d hoped that one day you would be able to have your own family, a bedroom for each kid: two bedrooms and one room as the nursery. No, that was a lie, you had dreamed about having Alice live with you - be with you – the boys would have their own rooms to decorate how they please (under the watchful eye of Alice) and… a nursery so you and Alice could have a child together, so that the boys would have a little sister (hopefully) to protect from the big kids.

To be honest, you had already started making renovations on the house so that it would be better suited for a family like that anyway, the bedrooms had a fresh coat of paint, nothing that was specifically catered to boys or girls – you wanted the kids to pick the colour themselves if they wanted a change – and made sure the windows had latches to prevent them from opening too far so that no one could fall out of them.

You were most proud of the kitchen though; it was your pride and joy of the entire property. That’s where you currently find yourself, applying the final sealing coat on the marble countertop so that no liquid seeps into the pores of the material. You had music playing through the radio, just loud enough to drown out the sound of the odd car that drove by. You were humming along to this when you heard the doorbell ring, this surprised you because not many people stopped round to your place, and if they did they would usually knock. You put the paintbrush in the sink and put the lid back onto the tin of sealant before you made your way over to the door. You didn’t bother to check your appearance or anything because you thought it was probably some girl scouts or a random, so in all your messy renovation glory you swung the door open to greet whoever was on the other side.

“Hi there, what can I-“ Your voice catches in your throat and colour rushes to your cheeks as you lay eyes on the woman before you. Now you were wishing you had at least wiped the sweat from your face and the grime from your hands.

“Hi… I- I know we- I know I haven’t spoken to you since…well…” She trails off quietly, looking down. You bite your bottom lip slightly and shake your head, willing the tears to remain unshed “It’s- It’s fine Alice, really. It’s in the past… You don’t need to explain yourself. It’s fine.” The older woman shakes her head and looks at you again, her eyes glistening slightly “I want to. Can- can I come in, please?”

You step back and hold the door open so she can make her way inside, closing and locking the door behind her before leading her to the lounge. “I- I wanted to apologise for hanging up the way I did…and for leaving your life without saying anything.” She takes a seat in an arm chair, hands immediately starting to fiddle with the cushion “I just- I didn’t- I don’t”

“You don’t feel the same way. I- I know. It’s okay. I- I got over most of the hurt-“

“No- no that’s not what I meant. I didn’t understand why you felt that way and- and I didn’t understand why I- why I” she shakes her head, her grip on the cushion tightening before she blurts out “why I felt something I hadn’t felt since the joy I felt when I had my boys.” She lets out a sob and buries her face in her hands as she starts crying.

You rush over to her and wrap your arms around her gently, rubbing her back as you hush her gently. “It’s okay, it’s okay. Shhh… It’s okay, Alice” She moves so she can hug you tight, burying her face in your shirt as she continues crying. “hey, hey it’s okay. It’ll be okay. Shhh.. It’s okay, Alice.” You continue rubbing her back, only slowing down more as her breathing starts to return to normal. “There we go, there we go. It’s okay. It’ll be okay.”

She doesn’t pull back but you hear her mumble out “my- my husband- ex… he- he found me crying after the call and he asked why. I- I told him that it- it was because I think I- I was in…love with someone else. A- A woman… And- and he” she lets out a sob before continuing “he told me how- how disgusting I- I am. That- that I was going to- to ruin my- my kids. We- He filed for divorce a few weeks later… It’s- it’s supposed to be split custody but- but I guess the boys like me more so- so they stay with me a majority of the time. They asked why I was so sad, why I didn’t bake apple pie as much anymore, why I- why I never called you. I didn’t answer them for so long, just- just said it was some- some trial that God was putting me through. But… a few days ago they asked again, and- and the looks in their eyes…” she lets out a bit of a laugh “they looked like they wouldn’t judge me no matter what I said, they- they really are my boys. So…I told them.”

Your breath catches and you still your movements before continuing, encouraging Alice to continue. “I told them everything. Well- well excluding what their father said about- about me. I just- I said that their father didn’t- didn’t approve of- of who I had…fallen in love with. They- they were confused and asked how it was possible for someone to- to fall in love when already married. I said sometimes- sometimes it happens and that it- it doesn’t mean I never loved their father, but I had discovered that- that maybe I…liked women. A woman. Gosh… You should’ve seen the looks on their face, it was like I’d given them their birthday presents early. I hadn’t even told them who but… they’re so wonderful.”

She pulls back and wipes her eyes on her sleeve, giving you a small smile “I told them that the woman I was- I am in love with is you. That- that I hadn’t known what to do so that’s why I was sad for so long because I just… Anyway… They said I was silly and should go tell you everything because they miss you and want to see me happy again.”

You blush deeply and look away, a shy smile settling on your lips before Alice gently turns your head to face her. “I- I love you, yn.” She leans in and tentatively brushes her lips against yours before kissing you, you gasp softly in shock before melting into the kiss.

One year, three months, two weeks, three days, and nine hours. That’s how long Alice and her boys – your boys – have been living with you for. After she kissed you that day, she asked if she could make love to you but emphasised that you would have to guide her because she’d never been with another woman. Alice was a quick learner and once she had a solid understanding of what you enjoyed…she made it very clear that she was the one in charge in the bedroom. This surprised you but you weren’t going to complain, if the love of your life wanted to be called “Miss” in the bedroom and boss you around, you bet your fucking ass you’re going to do just that. Although she did burst into tears after you went down on her because she didn’t know something like that was supposed to feel that good.

She asked you why there was an empty room one day while the boys were at tutoring, and you told her it was because you hoped to have a baby one day… Hopefully with her. She was shocked and had blushed profusely but the smile on her face reassured you she wasn’t put off by the idea. You said you knew it wouldn’t actually be possible for her to get you pregnant but you saw a fierce determination in her eyes that made you feel like she would find a way. Alice didn’t bring it up again for quite some time, and you didn’t press about it either, just put it down to her having forgotten or maybe not actually being into the idea.

One evening while the boys were at their fathers Alice said she had something to show you, said it was really important. When you walked into the bedroom you nearly choked on your bottled water, Alice was standing there, looking down as she adjusted - what appeared to be a strap-on – to fit her comfortably. She still had her simple white bra on but to you she still looked sexy, with or without clothing you were attracted to her; the look of utter concentration on her face made you giggle though, drawing her attention to you, a blush settling on her face as she smiles.

“I- Hi. I- So I did some… I did things to try and- and figure out if there was a way I could get you…pregnant… And- well, I know you don’t always come to church but- No I didn’t ask around church, silly. Every time I prayed, I asked for there to be a time where it would be possible for me to get you pregnant, so- so I could have a baby with the woman I love. And- and so it turns out that tonight is that night. I saw a sign, and I know that sounds cra-“ You cut her off with a deep and slow kiss, hands cupping her cheeks gently before you pull back “Alice, baby, nothing you say sounds crazy to me.”

She blushes more and flusters a bit before continuing “I saw a sign, well- well what I hope was one and knew that it would be possible tonight. That- that it would be possible for me to- to” she tears up, some tears spilling onto her cheeks which you wipe away gently “to get you pregnant so we can have our baby.” You sniffle a little, having teared up at her words “Alice… You’re so- you’re so wonderful. Please take me to bed, make- make love to me.”

Alice takes your hand in hers gently and leads you to your shared bed where she lays you down gently on it before crawling on top of you, her hand stroking your cheek gently. “I love you so much, yn.”

“I love you too, Alice.”

You looked up at the woman you loved, her hand ghosting gently between your legs and roaming over your body before she starts to remove your clothing, kissing your skin as each item is removed. She trails kisses up your thighs before moving up to kiss you, her lips were still sweet from the dessert she had made, her tongue slips between her lips and runs against your bottom lip before you part them to brush your tongue over hers, you both moaning at the feeling. A gasp falls from your lips when you feel her touch your slit, fingers rubbing your clit lightly before dipping the tips of two into your pussy.

“You make the most beautiful noises, my love.”

There had never been a moment before now where you had felt so much love when having sex with someone. It wasn’t only because your girlfriend had managed to find a way to try having a baby with you – having her baby, it was because there wasn't a single moment the entire night where the love in her eyes disappeared.

You wouldn’t know if Alice’s prayers had been heard until you took a pregnancy tests a few days later, but there was a feeling in your bones that made you think that things would work out – that you would have her baby. On the off chance, or more likely chance, that you didn’t get pregnant, that would be okay too. Your sweet Alice would probably try her best to find another way though, she was determined like that.

You and Alice both shared a nice bubble bath after your lovemaking, just enjoying being in each other’s arms. “Alice baby, I love you so much. Thank you for tonight. Thank you for coming back to me. Just- just thank you.” She hums softly in response, her eyes drifting closed “I love you too, Yn. I’d always find my way back to you anyway.” You press a kiss to her head, enjoying the feeling of being content and happy with a woman you love, and with the chance of being pregnant with her child.

[sheloooveswomen]

quarantine - headcanon

masterlist

prompt: this is so two years ago but i felt like imagining it. idk this is kinda boring sorry. working on something else.

includes: billie dean howard, lana winters, cordelia goode, sally mckenna, audrey tindall, ally mayfair-richards, wilhemina venable, diane sherman, alice macray, tammy, and xandra terrell.

☆ billie dean howard ☆

• feels like long needed time off at first but then she doesn't know what to do with herself

• signs up for every streaming service

• hamilton being added to disney is a very good day for her

• learns the art of massage (wink wink), gets a variety of scented oils and lotions, it's a win win

• BILLIE: "If I see any cleavage, a hardened nipple through your shirt- even a sliver of ass or midriff while I'm on this video call, I will have your head."

Y/N: "Billie Dean! You want me to give you head during office hours?! I know we're at home but still."

BILLIE: "I love you but so help me god. I'm a weak woman."

☆ lana winters ☆

• gets an audible membership to stay busy

• listens while reading a kindle copy because although she loves hearing it performed, she neeeeds a 'book' in her hands

• dabbles in watercolor/landscape painting when boredom really hits her

☆ cordelia goode ☆

• supreme immune system

• consistently up to date on all the facts

• always checking on the girls (whether they're staying at the academy or attending virtually)

• casts protection spells and makes remedies for the witches

• tries to have non-school activities planned so no one gets cabin fever, let's them have 'parties'

• big group sleepovers (nail painting, hair braiding, baking, ride a mattress down the stairs, play wii/just dance, karaoke)

☆ sally mckenna ☆

• oh wait she can't leave the hotel anyways lmao

• gains a true crime show/forensic files obsession tho

☆ audrey tindall ☆

• Audi is a real people person so staying inside is hard for her

• starts and stops a crazy amount of hobbies

• puzzles, paint by number, jewelry making, glass cutting, making clay picture frames, crochet, friendship bracelets, resin earrings, nail art, diy-ing clothes she doesn't wear anymore

• does zoom skits with fellow actor/theater friends for fun and to raise money

☆ ally mayfair-richards ☆

• her anxiety doubles during the pandemic

• takes every precaution to keep you all safe and takes setting guidelines for Michigan very seriously

• she distracts herself by making sure Oz is on track for school and isn't ever bored

• orders a lot of board games for all three of you (and some couple ones for just the two of you)

• makes a sapphic/queer movie and show list to go through together

• tries new recipes (puts the best ones on a list to add to the menu when the restaurant opens up eventually)

☆ wilhemina venable ☆

• this woman loves her home and hates interacting with anyone that isn't you

• quarantine is a dream for her

• mina doesn't like to sit and 'relax'

• goes through majority of her library before ordering a shit ton of books to add to her collection

• won't admit it but the great amount of time together opened her up to cuddling more often and listening to/"suffering through" your music

• reading with headphones playing her classical music while you lay with your head in her lap as you watch tv is one of her favorite pastimes

• she will not tolerate distractions while working

☆ diane sherman ☆

• becomes obsessed with podcasts and asmr

• goes hand in hand with her expanding gardening time

• gets more house plants

• rearranges the furniture a lot

• crochet and macramé addict (she's freakishly good at it)

• makes coasters, cup cozies/sleeves, hats, scarves, cardigans, vests, hanging plant holders

☆ alice macray ☆

• home renovation shows/magazines/blogs are her new hobby

• finds projects/little things to fix around the house and researches them before ordering supplies online

• online shopping addict

☆ tammy ☆

• AU where she doesn't have kids

• binge watches all the housewives shows

• quarantining with the gang at Loubbie's fully stocked house (borderline mansion) in upstate new york

• video/board game tournaments with the group

☆ xandra terrell ☆

• at home date nights

• bartender/chef at heart = quarantine cocktail and dessert connoisseur

• mixes drinks to go with dinner, eventually tries to make them blindfolded or with bottle tricks, has you quiz her on the recipes, learns new ones

• makes cake/cupcake flavors you didn't even know existed, tries fancier pastries too

[safic4-m]

💖I hate being a woman

Pairing: Alice Macray x Fem Lector

Author’s Note: This was made to comfort me while I’m getting off and I hope it can be of use to you too.

Word count:291

~Master list~

One-shot

Wattpad

-I hate being a woman- you say in a low tone as you writhe in pain.

-Why do you say that?- asks Alice approaching where you are lying on the bed.

-So boobs are fine- putting your hands on your breasts -the uterus…mmm not a fan of the idea of humans having other humans, but bleeding for 4 to 5 days- moaning dramatically

-Well that’s your body’s reminder to tell you that you’re not pregnant- running his hand through your hair.

-Yeah…, because it’s not like he’s been dating a woman for almost two years- looking at her with fake anger.

Your comment makes her laugh and a smile spreads across your face as you see her so happy, but your expression changes as you feel a new wave of pain sweep through your body. Alice wraps her arms around you, helping you through it.

-How long does it take to work?- you ask, letting out a few tears.

-It shouldn’t take long- leaving a kiss on your forehead, -I’ll be back in a second.

The day before you had gone to sleep with some pain, you were woken up by a strong feeling in your belly and with it everything that comes with having your period; you and Alice had planned to go out in the countryside but with this little inconvenience the idea was completely discarded.

You don’t realise that your girlfriend is coming back until she feels the mattress on the bed sagging, she puts a hot compress on you to try and ease the pain and hands you a big tub of your favourite ice cream, you lie there snuggling together enjoying each other’s company.

Your plans may have been cancelled but you can’t imagine what could have been better, than being at home with your girlfriend.

[amwritesitall]

Alice Macray Dating a Younger Woman Would Include

Masterlist

anonymous said: can you do headcanons for all sarah characters that you write for dating a (much) younger girl ?

Warning: mentions of homophobic parents, but it’s only a couple of bullet points

-

Alice Macray

I’m a sucker for the idea of Alice being a family friend that you have a huge crush on (I have seen some stuff on it too and it’s my gay dream)

Being Phyllis's daughter?!?! 

Specifically one of her older daughters

Her coming over to visit your mother and the LONGING for this woman who you never thought would be interested in you, let alone women at all

Being a flustered mess when she smiles at you

Or thanks you for helping her carry something in

Or offering to take her coat for her

You know that one smile where her whole face seems to light up

Those are the smiles that make her hard not to fall harder for the woman

She’d flash you a smile like that from across the table when she was having dinner or lunch with your family

Seeing when she came over for your mother’s meetings and working on the movement

After you’ve moved out of the house, months later you come back for a holiday and Alice is at your house

“(Y/N) it’s been so long!”

Her hugging you when she sees you

Asks you all about what you’ve been up to

Every year your mother hosts a big Christmas party at the house that you always hate having to attend

But every year there is no escape from it

There’s always a ton of guests

People kissing up to one another the entire night

Your siblings sometimes grin and bear it or sneak up to their rooms halfway through the night

This year you take to sneaking drinks of alcohol when no one is looking

You eventually end up with a whole bottle of wine to yourself while you’re sitting on the steps to the back door of the house just looking up at the night sky

You don’t notice someone’s walked outside until you feel them wrap a coat around your shoulders

You look over to see that Alice sitting down to join you

You thank her for the coat and she smiles

“So this is where you snuck off to” she says chuckling 

You raise the bottle of wine to her before taking another drink

“The egos in there were getting to be too much to handle”

She nods in understanding before reaching over and grabbing the bottle from you

You expect for her to set it to the side, but instead, she drinks from it as well

“You know I dread this part every year,” she says passing the bottle back to you

You raise your eyebrows at her “really?”

She nods “I only come to support your mother”

She pauses “and to check up on you”

“I’m doing fine and dandy”

You take another drink to punctuate your remark

After an hour or so of you and Alice passing the wine bottle back and forth and talking, you’re tipsy enough that you think what the hell and decide to say something you’ll probably regret later

“You know I used to have the biggest crush on you”

Alice gasps and looks over at you, a blush rising to her cheeks

“You had a crush on me?”

“Is that so hard to believe? You’re the most gorgeous woman here” you say with a shrug

Alice stays silent and just stares at you

“What?” you say breaking the silence

“Do you still have a crush on me?”

“Yes, but I’m old enough now to realize nothing’s ever going to happen”

After a few seconds of contemplating, Alice reaches over to cup your cheek and kiss you

The kiss is long and slow and feels nothing like any other kiss you’ve shared with anyone

You thread your fingers through Alice’s hair 

The kiss goes on until you hear a commotion from inside

The two of you part, out of breath and Alice’s cheeks rosy from both the wine and the interaction between you and her

“I should get back in there,” she says quietly before getting up and retreating back into the house

You spend the rest of the night staring up at the sky wondering what the hell had just happened

You eventually tell yourself that the interaction between you and Alice was a one-time thing

You both were drunk and it’ll never happen again

You tell yourself this for a while

... until it happens again

The next time it happens it is a few months after the first occurrence at another one of your mother’s parties

This time you're hiding out in your room because you didn’t feel like dealing with the cold night air

Alice noticed your disappearance almost as soon as you left and goes to find you

You can feel the tension between you and her and it was only a matter a time before her lips found yours again

This time the make-out session lasted longer with hands wandering a little more

If you told 13 year old you that Alice Macray would be making out with older you in your bed at one of your mother’s parties, they would have never believed it, but yet here you and Alice are

This occurs at every party you and Alice attend for the next three years

One afternoon you receive a call while you’re in your apartment from Alice

“I left Buck.”

“What?”

“I left Buck.”

“Are you alright?”

“I think I’m in love with you.”

“Oh”

“Can I come see you?”

You agree and are a nervous wreck while you wait for Alice to make the journey from Alton to your apartment

Once Alice gets there, she runs to hug you

She confesses her feelings for you and explains how at first she was confused by them, but now she knows what she wants

“I want to be with you, (Y/N), if you’ll let me”

In response, you repeat her actions from that first night, cupping her cheek and kissing her

“I would love to be with you, Alice”

Alice stays with you in your apartment

So much affection

Cuddling, kissing, hugging, hand-holding

But all of this is always within the privacy of your apartment

The relationship is kept hidden for a long time

Society was progressing, but you and Alice wanted to keep this between the two of you for awhile

It took you years to tell your family about you and Alice

You wanted to wait until you were capable of being fully on your own just in case the worst happened

Your mother is enraged

As is your father

Your siblings really don’t care that much

It takes a few months for your mother to finally call you

She explains that she doesn’t approve of your decisions, but she doesn’t want her daughter out of her life

So you and Alice go to family events but keep your relationship on the down-low

Alice and you don’t really care because your relationship is your business and you don’t want to have to deal with outside opinions

You and Alice love each other so much

Eventually buying a house together after a couple of years living in your apartment

The two of you still dread going to your mother’s parties (but you don’t want to deal with her being mad if you don’t attend)

You and Alice leave halfway through the party to go to your room

Or leave the party all together

Overall, you and Alice are super sweet

Sometimes you and her do things to piss your mother off though

Because Alice is still a sassy girl who has seen that Phyllis isn’t a great person

Alice isn’t involved with Phyllis’s work anymore

Instead, she’s  hours away living her best life with you

I could write about bb Alice for days

-

Dating a Younger Woman Would Include: Billie Dean Howard, Lana Winters, Cordelia Goode, Bette and Dot Tattler, Sally McKenna, Audrey Tindall, Ally Mayfair Richards, Wilhemina Venable, Alice Macray (you are here), Tammy, Harriet Hayes

[adripaulson]

Put your head on my shoulder

Words count : 845

Warnings : None, only fluff !

Writer note : There is my first story ! I really wanted to write one for Alice because she is my baby and she deserves more credits 🥰 I hope you will like it as much as I liked writing it. I apologize in advance for the mistakes, English is not my native language .

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uvxagNIBVLU

 Being the daughter of Phyllis Schlafly was hard and exhausting to be honest. You always had to be perfect, have good grades, to be dressed properly. You had to be just like your mother and this implied supporting her in her campaign against the ERA. You were already in college and most of your friend did not understand your mother’s hate against the ERA and let’s be honest : you did not either.

To be simple, you always had to hide who you are, what you like. What were you ? Well, you were a lesbian. What did you like ? Well more like who did you like : your very own mother’s bestfriend, Alice Macray.

You always loved Alice, she was so sweet and was more interesting than your mother. And god she was beautiful. The way her smile could enlighten a whole room, how her brown eyes were always looking at you with a mix of love and happiness. She was so pretty it hurts. You could always count on Alice to help you. She gave you a ride every time you needed one, helped you and your siblings when your mother was away for her campaign. You were very close, so close that you called her Alice. You appreciated all of this, of course you did, but it all became more complicated when you started to notice the feelings you had for her. You told your brother John about it because you two had the same secret. He advised you to spend less time with Alice and even if it broke you heart, that’s what you did, for a while.

However, your mother threw one of her famous parties ( you hated them obviously) and the best thing you could do during theses nights was to drink, stay outside or in your bedroom. You were in the kitchen when you saw her. Beautiful as ever, attached to her husband’s arm. She saw you looking at her and smiled at you. You looked down to avoid her. You realized you couldn’t stay there anymore so you went upstairs in your room.

Fifteen minutes later, you heard a knock and tell the person to come in. You found yourself very surprised to see Alice. She sat on your bed, next to you.

“(Y/N), did I do something wrong ?”, she asked with what appeared to be tears in her eyes.

You tried to stay calm and said with a neutral ( but with a sense of sweetness) tone “ What ? No Alice, of course not, why would you think that ?”

She blushed and looked down embarrassed “ Well I haven’t seen you for a while now… And I mean… I missed your company and talking to you and… I missed you…”

Your heart was racing, your breath became faster and shorter, you tried to understand Alice’s words and feelings “ Well, I-I was busy. I am sorry I made you feel like this”.  

Both of you sat there, in silence, with an electric tension in the air. An idea popped in your head, you got up, and started to play a record of Paul Anka. You approached next to Alice and put your hand in front her to invite her. She took your hand immediately and put the other one on your hips ( a move that gave you chills down your spine).

Put your head on my shoulder

Hold me in your arms, baby

Squeeze me oh-so-tight

Show me that you love me too

“ You are very good dancer honey” she said smiling.

You bite your lower lips, blushed shyly and looked down. She made you look at her by lifting your chin up and stroke your cheek gently. You were so close, closer than you ever been, you were so close that you could kiss her and scent her perfume.

Put your lips next to mine, dear

Won't you kiss me once, baby?

Just a kiss goodnight, maybe

You and I will fall in love (you and I will fall in love)

And with those words, she leaned forward, and her lips captured yours. Her lips were so soft, you melted under the kiss. It was very gentle, you did not rush, you made it last as if you wanted to make the world stop in order to make this moment last forever. You backed off when you felt that air was necessary. You buried your face in the crook of her neck, smelling her sweet perfume. She held you closer and you two kept dancing to the sound of the record playing

Put your head on my shoulder

Whisper in my ear, baby

Words I want to hear

Tell me, tell me that you love me too (tell me that you love me too)

You did not know if this will happen again, but you knew that Alice Macray was your little secret and you knew that you will cherish her longer than all the songs in the world. You will cherish her until your last breath.