#Alexa Skill
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fluffyzhana · 1 year ago
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Slams a fist down.
WHY THANK YOU FOR ASKING.
So, here's the thing. I've been developing a smart home skill for about a year now. I know, it's a long time, but the thing I'm working on is a catch-all for many different devices. One such device is the RGB light.
When you tell Alexa to set the color of your light, it sends the Skill a SetColor directive. This command has an HSL/V/B value which is hue, saturation, and lightness/value/brightness (that last one is important, we'll get back to that). First of all, this is probably the stupidest way you could send a color value for lights. Smart lights TYPICALLY use RGB(W), so it would make SENSE to send an RGB value so that I don't have to put it through some wacky converter to get the RGB value (which is awful, btw, and NOT a 1-to-1 function). Nope! They choose to use HSL.
You may be wondering why HSL is a bad idea. Well, for those of you who clicked the link to the SetColor directive, you may have already noticed this yellow box here:
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That may seem like it makes sense, but I need you to consider: If you have your bulbs at full brightness, which you more than likely will, and you tell your lights "change the color to blue", you would EXPECT those lights to turn blue... right? I certainly would. Artists out there might have already figured this out, but if we do what the aLl ImPoRtAnT yellow box says, then we would just get WHITE. Yes, any HSL color with 100% lightness is just white. And Alexa sends almost (key word here, "almost") every command with 100% lightness. There's basically little to no distinction between red/magenta and pink. If I'm supposed to ignore the lightness value, then why even have it??? Why should a user expect white when changing the color of a lighbulb that is fully on???
"Best user experience" my ass.
So, I did something different. Any time Alexa sends me 1.0, or 100%, I set the L value to 0.5, or 50%. This gets a good, basic color for MOST things, while still letting colors like light blue come through as lighter than plain blue. And I say most, because out of all the basic colors (not even counting more complex colors like "olive"), there is one that stands out. Purple.
Yes, I bet you were wondering when I'd get to purple, so here it is. Here's the HSL value that Alexa sends me for purple (follow along with me here, if you'd like):
Hue: 277.0 off to a good start Saturation: 0.86 or 86% also not bad. That's a pretty good purple. Lightness: 0.93 or 93%
WHAT? Look at that color! That's a La Croix of the color purple! If you wanted me to ignore the brightness, why did you put it in there? I now can't just ignore ONLY the lightness that's 100%. I have to make a special exception just for purple, just because the original programmers thought it would be a good idea to tie lightness to the actual brightness of the light, which is far from a bright idea. Fuck you, whoever programmed this. No other native apps do this shit with their lights, brightness is completely separate from color. And for good fucking reason.
If someone working at Alexa happens to see this, please, kindly fix this. And StepSpeakers. But that's another rant that I shall spare you all from.
Fuck Alexa.
Alexa Skills Kit broke the color purple and it pisses me off to no end.
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renwyvernsims · 10 months ago
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Little Alcor's mischievous streak knows no bounds! The little guy really wants to play in the toilet.
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"Al? What on earth do you think you're doing?"
"Wah wah!"
"Alcor, please tell me you weren't splashing around in the toilet!"
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"Nuu..."
"I swear, I clean all that syrup you spilled in the living room, and you're already off causing chaos somewhere else! We don't play in the toilet, got it?"
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"Bwaaahh!"
"Sigh... I'm sorry I yelled at you, Momma's just frustrated. Playing in toilets is a no-no, okay? It's got yucky water."
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The Extra Daughter - Chapter 8
I'm not the best at dresses but this is the best I could do to make what I had in mind. I promise it's more versatile and mobile of a dress than it looks
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ya-boi-iworkformojang · 2 years ago
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massive skill issue smh
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kernalphage · 1 year ago
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as someone who programs Alexa games the prevailing superstition is:
She's real, and she's the dumbest bitch on the planet.
(Amz though, is a Tangled web of bureaucracy and strangely specific ad targeting)
i hate how they market alexa as a ‘member of the family’ like that’s SO fucking blatantly insidious and terrifying also if i wanted an untrustworthy/cold/emotionless machine in my life i’d just talk to my fuckin father 
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geekpopnews · 5 months ago
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Show do Milhão App: relembre o jogo do clássico programa de perguntas e respostas do Silvio Santos
Relembre o jogo do icônico Show do Milhão, sucesso televisivo do Programa Silvio Santos nos anos 2000. #ShowdoMilhão #ShowdoMilhãoApp #Silvio Santos
O Show do Milhão App traz de volta toda a nostalgia do famoso programa de perguntas e respostas do Silvio Santos, que marcou gerações nos anos 2000. Quem não se lembra das noites na frente da TV, torcendo para que os participantes dessem as respostas certas, e então, levar para casa os tão sonhados um milhão de reais? Dá até saudade! Além de trazer de volta as memórias do programa, o aplicativo…
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bob3160 · 6 months ago
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Is FREE truly FREE - Amazon Alexa
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topsinfosolutions · 7 months ago
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Imagine a world where your voice is the key to unlocking a universe of information and control. This is not science fiction; it's the reality created by voice-powered assistants like Amazon's Alexa.
With a simple voice command, you can control your smart home devices, play music, set reminders, and much more.
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warrenwoodhouse · 1 year ago
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Real Filming Locations - Skills - Amazon Alexa App
Try out my @realfilminglocations blog’s own skill using the @amazon #Alexa app. This skill features questions, answers and facts and can be played by more than one person. It includes questions related to film locations, tv series locations and video game locations. If you have any suggestions, please let me know in the feedback form at https://warrenwoodhouse.tumblr.com/ask
Changelog
21st October 2023: Updated skill icon
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gearbraininc · 1 year ago
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If decorating for Halloween, here are some ideas to make your smart home into a smart haunted house.
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natures-uprise · 2 years ago
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ongraph · 2 years ago
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As a leading Alexa Skills Development Company, OnGraph Technologies have expertise in developing Alexa skills tailored to customers’ services and products. We have experience in using both AWS and custom server environments. We also provide custom solutions in voice technology for a variety of purposes.
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silver-geek-publicaciones · 2 years ago
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Alexa y el chavo del ocho!
Llegaron a Alexa el chavo del ocho y el chapulin colorado!!!
Tenía que ser… ¡Alexa! Conoce las dos nuevas skill de El Chavo y El Chapulín Colorado Desde hace más de 50 años, Chespirito y sus icónicos personajes se ganaron nuestro corazón y se volvieron parte importante de la cultura popular de nuestro país. Ahora, si eres usuario de Alexa podrás pasar un rato de diversión en familia jugando con El Chavo del 8 y El Chapulín Colorado con las dos nuevas…
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View On WordPress
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justdavina · 6 months ago
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Alexa ~~ femleksa:
Such a sexy transgender woman! Her outfit looks perfect! Remember darling's..It takes a lot of skill and money to look this fashionable..Never, never give up on dressing feminine. You look marvelous to me!
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arielleslipgloss · 1 year ago
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IDGAF Mindset 101
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“90% of life is confidence. And the thing is about confidence is no one knows if it’s real or not.” - Maddy Perez/ Alexa Demie
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Learn to say no. Any situation that you are uncomfortable in or don’t want to do something. SAY NO! It’s not rude to say no. What is rude is someone forcing you into something you don’t want to do. If it helps you can even say “no, thank you.” You’re still saying no but in a nicer form.
2. “If they don’t know you personally, don’t take it personal.” Why take a comment from someone personally? Do they know you, the REAL you. In fact, do you even know the real you? If they don’t, then don’t take it personally. Their comments aren’t going to matter when you’re living your dream life. It won’t matter in 10 years. So, don’t spend 10 seconds thinking about it.
3. Don’t allow disrespect! Would you let your (future) daughter get disrespected? I don’t think so. Therefore don’t allow yourself to get disrespected. If people are making your uncomfortable, let them know! If people are making comments about you, stand up for yourself. If you don’t want to do any of those, then walk away. NEVER let ANYONE disrespect you.
4. Altogether you need self respect! In order to do most of these, you need self respect. Self respect will help you overcome a lot of obstacles. Self respect is a strong aspect of your life. It’s not just a feeling or belief, it’s a skill. Not everyone has or can have strong self respect. The first step to self respect is work on your low self-esteem. That, is if you have self-esteem. Nevertheless, working on yourself in general is something you won’t regret! I recommend you watch self-development Youtubers. My favorites are Tam Kaur, TheWizardLiz, Simonesimmo, Persephonesmind, Lana Blakely, etc
5. Think of your haters as fans! Haters are truly your biggest fans. Whether they like it or not they are. They hate, hate, hate, and hate but they are still watching. They are still commenting on your every move. They still try to bring you down to feel good about themselves. All they are, is jealous fans.
“You be fearless everyday and when you don’t feel like it, just pretend girl” - Rhianna
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thewintersoldierdisaster · 1 year ago
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a/n: i know the game and fight were like two weeks ago but i couldn’t stop thinking about it lol. just a fun little thing - enjoy! (and literally as i go to post this, bb gets added back to the skills comp as he should’ve been in the first place so go defend your fastest skater title, mat😘)
word count: 4.5k
tw: oral (m recieving), cursing, chicago blackhawks slander, dirty talk
summary: after mat’s fight during the blackhawks game, you’re both worked up with extra energy to get out of your systems
“Fuck you!” You jump to your feet, screaming, adrenaline rushing through your veins. “Go fuck yourself!” Your stomach turns watching Mat fight, but you also can’t ignore the throb between your legs.
Unconcerned with the fact that you’re solidly in enemy territory, your shouting gets louder and louder. Your heart pounds in your chest as you watch Mat scrap with Chicago’s number 43. Mat shifts and drops Blackwell to the ice, the refs and the other players skating over quickly.
“That’s right,” you crow, the people around you starting to boo. “Get fucking wrecked!”
Mat skates off, helmet gone, hair flattened to his head and jersey half off. He scowls and tugs the jersey back over his head and you pump your fists in the air. “That’s my man!” You jump up and down, flipping off a few Chicago fans that are shouting at you.
“Girl,” Alexa, Noah’s girlfriend, tugs at the hem of your vintage Islanders sweatshirt, laughing, “you’re going to get us killed. Sit down!”
You drop back down into your seat and shoot her a grin, “what a way to go out though!” You laugh and take a sip of your beer, turning in your seat when a Chicago fan a few seats down leans over to shout at you.
“Real classy behavior, lady,” he sneers and you flip him off with a bright smile.
“God, where to even start with the classy as hell Chicago Blackhawks organization?” You tap at your lower lip thoughtfully. “Patrick Kane? Jonathan Towes? Corey Perry? So many options to choose from.”
“Gonna bring up shit that doesn’t mean anything?” The man snaps.
You lean halfway out of your seat, getting a little louder, “your team sucks ass from top to bottom.”
“Suck my dick, bitch.”
Alexa coughs into her drink and you shrug at the man, shouting, “at least I’m supporting a team that hasn’t been sued twice for covering up sexual assault.”
“Oh my god,” Alexa mutters, covering her face.
“Fuck off, bitch,” a second man, sitting next to the first, shouts at you.
With a little three fingered wave at the men, you turn back to the ice, settling into your seat. “Oh, I love when men can only think to call me a bitch in the face of actual facts,” you sigh, heartbeat still pounding from Mat’s fight and the confrontation.
A few Chicago fans in the general vicinity are looking at you, booing and flipping you off. You return the gestures happily, with a sarcastic smile on your face.
“You’re batshit insane,” Alexa says, looking impressed and a little awed. “I’m terrified of you.”
You knock her shoulder with yours and tease, “as long as you love me more than you’re terrified of me.”
“Jury’s still out,” she snorts.
The game ends in tragic fashion during overtime, but you’re still so proud of Mat, buzzing with energy to see him when he gets back to the hotel. You and Alexa had booked a room in the same hotel the boys were staying at, spontaneously deciding to take the trip to see the boys play since neither of you had been to Chicago. The team flies back to Long Island tomorrow afternoon and your flight leaves just a few hours later, so you’ve got a few hours with Mat tonight before you have to go back to your own rooms, knowing he’ll have left packing to the last possible second.
Alexa’s lounging on her bed, scrolling through her phone, when there’s a knock on the door. You jump up from your spot on your bed and rush to the door, yanking it open and nearly knocking Noah out of the way in your hurry to jump into Mat’s arms. He laughs and catches you easily, wrapping his arms around your lower back as your legs hook around his waist.
“First career fight?” You grin at him, peppering his face with kisses. “So fucking hot, baby.”
“Y’know,” Noah comments dryly from behind you, “I had assists on two of our goals.”
You turn your head and grin at him, “you want a kiss too?” Mat’s hands grope at your ass, pulling you tighter over the growing bulge in his jeans. You wriggle happily over him, enjoying the low groan that vibrates against your shoulder.
“Not from you,” Noah laughs, dropping a kiss to the top of Alexa’s head. She snuggles up against his side and laughs a little.
“Let’s get out of here,” she says, “before these two forget they’re not alone.” Shooting you a wink, she grabs Noah’s hand and drags him out of the room, the door falling shut behind them.
“Thank god,” Mat huffs, leaning his forehead against your collarbone. You kiss the top of his head, rubbing your fingertips into his scalp. “I’ve been waiting to see you all night.”
“Well you’ve got me for the next few hours, completely uninterrupted,” you reply, holding onto him like a koala. “Let me see your face, I need to make sure no damage was done.”
Mat pulls away from you, grinning that crooked grin you love so much. He looks a little tired, but the only damage from the fight is a cut on the bridge of his nose and a little cut on his forehead. Not nearly as bad as you were thinking. “Do I pass inspection?” He teases, bouncing you a little in his arms.
You hum, “you’ll do,” before kissing the tip of his nose and then slanting your lips over his. Mat deepens the kiss, licking over your lower lip so your mouth will fall open. You groan into his mouth, grinding your hips down over his erection. The kiss is a little frantic, all teeth and tongue, and you’re out of breath when you break apart. “Put me down, I wanna reward you,” you pant, unhooking your legs from around his waist and letting them fall to the floor.
“What?” Mat’s mouth is back on yours, arms still wrapped tightly around your back, your chest pressed to his. You wiggle against him, grinding your hips over his, more than happy to feel him harden under you.
“Wanna - mmmph-“ your words are muffled by Mat’s mouth, captured by his lips and tongue. You pull back with a huge effort, palms flat on his shoulders for leverage. “Wanna suck you off,” you murmur, Mat’s hands trailing up the back of your shirt, his teeth sinking into your bottom lip and tugging at it.
“Yeah?” Mat asks, eyelids heavy over his eyes. He shifts and wedges his leg in between yours, pressing his muscled thigh right up against your throbbing cunt. You whine and your hips move over his leg, the seam of your jeans pressed exactly where you need it. “Wanna suck my dick, baby? What if I wanna watch you get off on my thigh?”
“C’mon, Mat,” your voice comes out breathy, “been wanting to suck you off since you fought. I’ve been soaked thinking about it.” You grind over his thigh as you plead, knowing you’ve won the upper hand when Mat’s fingers dip below the waistband of your jeans to squeeze your ass.
He sucks a mark into the skin behind your ear and you sigh. “Me fighting got you all hot and bothered?” He asks the question against your skin, brushing his nose against your earlobe and you nod.
“Beyond fucking hot, Mat,” you scratch your nails against the nape of his neck. “Glad I got to see it.”
You wiggle again and a little whine forms in the back of your throat. Mat’s mouth curls into a smile against your neck. “Love it when you beg,” he says, a little hoarse. “My girl is begging to suck my cock, what’s fucking better than that?”
“Actually letting me suck your cock,” you gasp, Mat’s fingers digging harder into the flesh of your ass. “Let me, Mat, c’mon.”
He finally shifts his leg, planting his feet solidly, and you grin, breaking from his grip and falling to your knees in front of him. You’re eye level with the bulge behind the fly of his jeans and you grin up at him wickedly. You run your fingertips lightly over his zipper and feel his cock throbbing through the denim. “Can’t wait to get my mouth on you,” you smirk, fingers working at the button and zipper, pushing at the denim until you can trace your index finger over the imprint of his dick through the fabric of his briefs.
“Fuck!” Mat’s hips buck forward and he grabs at your hair with one hand, tangling his fingers in the strands. His cock twitches behind the fabric and you push his jeans and briefs halfway down his thighs, freeing his cock so it bobs up towards his stomach. You lean up on your knees to press a kiss to the head of his cock and Mat groans, grip on your hair tightening. “Baby, babe, please, don’t tease me,” he babbles, hips thrusting minutely.
“It’s a reward,” you grin up at him, wrapping your hand around the base of his cock and squeezing slightly, “for fighting. Going to take my time with you.”
Your hand strokes him slowly, palm rubbing against his tip, gathering pre-cum and smearing it down his shaft. His cock throbs in your hand, in time with the way your clit throbs as you touch him. You shift on your knees, pressing the heel of your foot in between your legs and Mat doesn’t miss the movement.
“Going to get off just by touching my dick?” He teases, widening his stance and leaning his upper back against the wall. You hum, focused on getting him fully hard. It doesn’t take much work and within seconds, he’s like hot steel in your hand.
“We’ll just have to see,” you murmur, leaning in and taking the head of his cock into your mouth. A strangled moan leaves Mat’s lips and his hips start to thrust, forcing you to press both of your hands against his hips to keep him in place. You hum around him and swirl your tongue over his slit, enjoying the way he’s babbling your name over your head. He groans, the noise choking off as you take him deeper into your mouth, keeping your lips wrapped tightly around him.
Your nails rake over his skin, fingers sliding over the ridge of bone and then the smooth skin of his lower stomach, until you’re able to rub your fingertips through the light trail of hair under his belly button. You wrap one hand around the base of his cock and take him deeper, swallowing and enjoying the way Mat’s cock bobs in your mouth.
“Baby, come on,” Mat mumbles, “gotta go deeper. Let me fuck your throat. Wanna feel you swallow me.”
You look up at him with wide eyes, tears hovering at your waterline from the stretch of your jaw, and blink innocently at him. Your throat relaxes and he grins, looking a little dazed, when he realizes you’re giving him permission. His other hand comes up to cradle your face, releasing your hair with the other hand so he can hold your face in place while he thrusts his hips forward, sliding his cock deeper down your throat with each movement. The head of his cock bumps against the roof of your mouth, the back of your throat, slides against your tongue with his erratic thrusts.
Saliva drips down your chin, tears rolling down your cheeks. Mascara streaks down your face, stinging your eyes a little.
Mat’s head is dropped back as he rolls his hips, his mouth running constantly. You’re not even sure what he’s saying at this point, too focused on keeping your throat relaxed and not gagging around his thick length. Your hands grip at his ass, nails digging into his skin and he hisses, practically whining when you swallow and your throat tightens around his cock.
“Fuck, fuck. Jesus Christ, fuck me,” he groans. “Love how you look with my dick in your mouth, look so pretty.”
You moan around him, lifting up a little on your knees and leaning in, deep throating him until your nose is pressed against his skin, your chin tucked up against his balls. His scent - a little bit soapy, a little bit sweaty - invades your senses and you feel your panties dampen further. You shake your head a little, brushing the tip of your nose against his skin and Mat’s fingers tighten on your face, thumbs rubbing over your cheekbones.
“Gonna come, baby, gotta -“ he mutters, choking off. He leans his hips back a little, trying to pull out of your mouth, but you hold onto his ass, pulling him closer to your face. Mat grunts, his balls tightening under your chin before he comes down your throat, hot and thick.
You swallow for what feels like forever, Mat’s cock still thick and hard in your mouth. He finally pulls back and you drop down to sit on your heels, wiping at your mouth. Saliva and cum make your chin and hands sticky, but you grin cheekily up at your boyfriend. He looks wrecked, jaw slack and eyes nearly closed.
“Didn’t manage to come just from sucking you off,” you rasp, throat sore and voice hoarse. You reach up to gently stroke over his cock and he leans his hips forward, pushing into your grip.
“Bet that sweet pussy of yours is soaked for me, huh?” Mat says, reaching out to wrap his hands around your biceps and haul you to your feel, your hand falling away from his cock. With his grip on your arms, Mat crushes you to his chest, kissing you sloppily. His cock presses against your stomach, half-hard, and you press against it, making Mat groan into your mouth before he sucks on your tongue.
You hum against his mouth, melting against Mat’s chest. Your clit throbs and you clench around nothing, desperate for a little friction. “Mat,” you gasp his name a little and he knows exactly what you want. His hands slide up your arms and wrap gently around your neck and the back of your head, keeping your face close to his so he can kiss you while walking you backwards to the bed.
“Gonna fuck you so good, baby,” he murmurs into your mouth. You can feel his body vibrating with adrenaline and once the backs of your knees hit the mattress, Mat pulls back to quickly get rid of his clothes, kicking the fabric in all different directions with a a hungry look in his eyes that makes you giggle. Mat grins down at you and leans over your body, pressing his bare chest against your clothed one. “Regular post-game energy has nothing on post-fight energy,” he promises, nipping at your pulse point.
You instinctively wrap your legs around his waist and roll your hips, pressing your cunt against his cock. “I can’t wait to find out,” you murmur, arching your back when his hands slide up your shirt to grope at your tits.
Just about an hour later, you roll off of Mat’s chest, sweating and panting like you’ve just run a marathon. “Fuck,” you breathe, thighs sticky and trembling.
Mat turns his head and gives you a lazy smirk, “told you.”
You kick a little at his ankle, shifting and shaking your head at the way your core is clenching around nothing, the feeling of Mat’s cock stuffed inside of you still present. “You need to get into fights more often,” you mumble, watching him wince as he pulls the used condom off of his dick. He twists a knot into the latex and rolls off the other side of the bed to pad into the bathroom. You blatantly stare at his ass, wolf-whistling when he bends slightly to toss the condom.
“I’m feeling very objectified,” Mat teases you, standing in the doorway with his hands on his hips. He tries to keep a straight face, but can’t help his lips from turning up at the corners. You drag your gaze over his body, from the top of his head, over his bare chest complete with chain resting against his collarbone, down to his dick hanging between his legs, and back up.
“Mmm,” you hum, still flat on your back, still shaking slightly. “It’s not my fault you’re so objectifiable. Maybe if you were uglier…”
You trail off into a shriek, body jostling when Mat pounces on the bed, covering your body with his and planting sloppy, wet kisses on every inch of your skin he can reach. “Nooo, stop! Oh my god, you know I’m ticklish,” you shriek-giggle, pushing at Mat’s shoulders, trying to wiggle out from under him. He keeps you caged in with his arms and legs, laughing.
“Gonna keep objectifying me, Squeaks?” He asks, marking you up with hickies across your neck and chest.
“Yessss,” you laugh, pressing your chest into his face. “It’s my favorite hobby.” You hook your leg around his hip and dig your heel into the muscle of his ass, getting him to thrust his pelvis forward, bumping against your clit. A spark of pleasure lights up your nerves.
“Cool,” he laughs, flicking his tongue over your nipple. “You can keep doing it after we get some food, I’m starving.” He bites at the underside of your breast and rolls off of you again, leaving you cold in the middle of the bed.
“What?” You sit up, watching him reach for his pants and dig his phone out of the pocket.
“We had like one slice of shitty Chicago pizza after the game,” Mat explains. “And then we rolled around in bed for an hour. I’m starving, babe.”
You’re about to complain, but as soon as you open your mouth, your stomach growls and Mat smirks at you. You huff, “okay, yeah. Let’s order some dinner.”
He turns back to his phone, tapping away at UberEats, and you flop back against the pillows, grabbing for your own phone where it rests on the bedside table. Once you’re settled, you rest your feet in Mat’s lap, his left hand landing on your ankle and thumb tracing an arc over your instep. You wiggle your toes and he pinches lightly at your skin. “What do you want?”
“Mozzarella sticks,” you say absently, gaze flickering onto your lock screen. It’s covered in notifications - the girls’ group chat, Twitter, Instagram, TikTok. What the hell is going on?
Another message comes in from Sydney, making your phone vibrate in your hand. Since you don’t have a password on your phone, you can see her message on the screen: she’s going to be banned from the arena 😂
Who’s going to be banned from the arena?
You tap open the group chat and scroll back to the top where the messages started half an hour ago. Holly sent a Twitter link followed by: our girl! 😂
A sinking feeling forms in your stomach, but you tap on the link, unsurprised when it opens up to a video. A video of you, just a few hours earlier, yelling at the game.
“Oh man,” you groan, watching yourself - filmed from an unflattering angle, of course - jumping and cheering for Mat, before turning and snapping at the Blackhawks fan.
“No mozzarella sticks?” Mat asks, mistaking what you had said as directed at him. He’s still scrolling through UberEats.
“No, um, yes,” you shake your head, looking up. “I do still want mozzarella sticks, but…”
You tap on the hashtag and start scrolling through Tweets, even as texts from the girls continue to roll in. The video is everywhere - Spittin’ Chiclets, B/R Open Ice, Barstool Sports. Fuck, even Frankie’s retweeted it, adding his typical all-caps word vomit captions: GOTTA GO THROUGH THE ISLAND OUR FANS ARE GREATER THAN ANYONE ELSE ANS READY TO GIVE YOU A VERBAL BITCH SLAP LOVE YOU LADY B
You roll your eyes at his caption, pulling the notification screen down and checking to see if he texted you too. He did - a string of cry-laughing emojis and clapping emojis.
“But what?” Mat finally drops his phone to the mattress and leans back on an elbow to look at you. “What are you looking at?”
You squint at him. “Have you not gotten any texts or notifications?” You ask, surprised that the guys’ group chat isn’t blowing up.
“Probably,” Mat shrugs, “my phone’s been on do not disturb since before my nap this afternoon. I wasn’t really thinking about looking. Why?”
You flip your phone around, showing him the screen. Mat squints at it, watching the video play for a few seconds before he lets out a chuckle of disbelief. “Is that you, Squeaks?”
“Yep,” you groan, pinching the bridge of your nose. “I, um, got a little heated when you fought. Is Lou going to kill me?”
Mat’s got your phone in his hand now, scrolling through the Tweets and laughing. “No way, you don’t work for him. I don’t think he knows what Twitter is anyway.” He keeps scrolling. “Oh shit!”
“What?” You lunge forward and snatch at your phone. Mat pulls it back and clicks his tongue at you.
“Jeez, you gonna yell at me now too?” He jokes before reading the caption of a Tweet. “Listen to this ‘trashy Long Island fan berates Blackhawks fan.’ Babe, you freaked on the wrong fanbase.”
“I’m trashy?” You yelp indignantly. “Me? They’re the fans that are supporting an organization FULL of sexual abusers! Give me my phone, I want to defend myself.”
“No way!” Mat holds your phone in the air away from you. “Why expose yourself to more shit?”
“Because I’m not the one in the wrong here,” you grumble. “What are the guys saying? Does anyone know who I am? I mean, I wasn’t quiet about cheering for you.”
With your phone still in his hand, Mat picks up his own and taps over to the messages. “Oh, damn. Almost fifty texts from the guys.” He chuckles as he scrolls through them, reading you off the best ones. “Bo says to suit up for next game, we could use your passion. Dobber says two minutes in the box for unsportsmanlike conduct. Ah, nice, Frankie says pizzas are on him next time we’re at Borrelli’s.”
“Pizzas are always on Frankie,” you grumble, draping yourself over Mat’s back to read his phone screen over his shoulder. The guys are mostly sending more videos from different angles and chirping you. While Mat’s distracted by the group chat, you snatch your phone back, returning to Twitter where the fans have figured out your connection to Mat - it’s not like your relationship is a secret, your Twitter is public and your Instagram switches back and forth between public and private when you’re starting to feel overwhelmed - but you don’t love that you’re getting this kind of attention.
You really should’ve controlled yourself better. But you didn’t and now you’re scrolling through hundreds of Tweets that are calling you Long Island trash. There are others mixed in that are supporting you, cheering you on for being a loyal fan and girlfriend, but jeez. The Chicago fans really are kind of nasty.
“Stop looking at that,” Mat plucks the phone from your hands when he sees your forehead crease and wrinkle over your nose. “Are we gonna have to delete your account like Dobber?”
“No,” you huff, chest flushing with emotion. “I just…I should’ve been a little more controlled, but I got so worked up!”
Mat cups your cheek and grins at you, “I like when you’re worked up. It’ll blow over in a few days, but for now, it’s really fucking cool that my girlfriend is so passionate about me fighting.”
You wrinkle your nose up at him and he laughs again, “seriously, don’t worry about it.” He frowns a little. “Fans’ll be talking about our game again by tomorrow. We’re fucking it all up.”
Pressing your cheek against Mat’s shoulder blade, you wrap your arms around his waist. “I’m sorry, Mat. I know you guys are working so hard, things will turn around soon, I’m sure.” You press a kiss to his skin, blowing a little raspberry. “Want your trashy Long Island girlfriend to give you another blowjob?”
That draws a laugh from Mat, exactly what you wanted to do, and he reaches back to rub his fingers over your scalp, massaging gently. He waves his phone in the air, “think you can do it before dinner gets here?”
A challenge.
You grin against his back, hands sliding down his stomach to wrap around the base of his cock. He jolts in your grip, stomach muscles bunching. “Place the order and we’ll see,” you mumble against his back, kissing and biting at his shoulder. His arm moves and you can see over his shoulder that he’s pressing the order button.
“Time starts now,” Mat teases, leaning back against you and giving you more access for your hands to stroke him.
You just barely manage to bring Mat to his finish before his phone chimes with the delivery notification, but it’s intensely satisfying to watch him yank on the hotel robe and slippers with his face and chest all flushed before he runs down to the lobby. You take the time that he’s gone to clean yourself up, showering quickly before getting into your lounge pants. By the time you eat and hang out for a bit, Mat’s going to have to go back to his own room, so you’re trying to curb the temptation to go another round.
Your phone is still going crazy with notifications and when you open Instagram, you notice that Mat’s shared a story. Immediately suspicious, you tap on his little circle, groaning when you see the video of you shouting. He must’ve shared it while he was in the elevator, the fucking menace.
Underneath the reshared video, Mat added his own comment: my favorite trashy long islander 👊🏻💪🏻😂
You swipe up and tap out a reply: i hate you
“Love you too, Oscar,” Mat’s voice echoes through the room. You look up and there he is, carrying the bag of takeout.
“Oscar?”
“Like the Grouch? You know, because he lives in a trash can,” Mat’s grin is shit-eating, “and you’re trashy.”
You fling a pillow at him and he ducks, cracking up. “I’m sorry!” He chokes out, not sorry at all. “But it’s hilarious. Video gets funnier the more you watch and some of those people on Twitter really are quick with the comments.”
“I’m never coming to another game again, Mathew,” you inform him, faux-snootily. He hands you over the foil tin of mozzarella sticks.
“Yeah you are,” he presses a kiss to your temple. “You’d never forgive yourself if you missed me fight again.” He wiggles his eyebrows and takes a bite out of one of your mozzarella sticks.
He’s right and he knows it.
“I’m going to have to private my insta again,” you comment on a sigh, looking down at the notifications piling up.
“You’re gonna be old news in a day or two,” Mat replies. “Something else will happen at a different game and hockey twitter will move on.”
By the time you land in New York the next afternoon, Mat’s right. You’re old news because the team’s fired Lane and hired Patrick Roy as their new coach.
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