#Alaina Answers | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

kaiyunsim · 4 days ago

Text

just a boy —

pairing : fuckboy!jay x gn!reader

summary : you meet jay at a party where you reject him after making a move… he likes it when they play hard to get.

warnings : angst, fluff, more angst than fluff tbh, uni au, reader is a freshman, jay is older, featuring heeseung + jake, jisung from nct, and minju from illit

a/n : omg fun to write is actually an understatement. i hope it turned out fun to read :) also for my pookie @writhyv

queueing : just a boy - alaina castillo,

— wc : 6.6 — not proof read —

you don't really care about parties. they're loud, crowded, and always filled with people trying too hard. but minju drags you along anyway, insisting that you need to "experience the university nightlife" at least once.

"come on, it'll be fun," she says, looping her arm through yours. "plus, jisung bailed on me, and i am not third-wheeling jake and his situationship all night."

so now you're here, standing awkwardly in the corner of a frat house, gripping a red solo cup filled with something that smells suspiciously like gasoline. minju is already off somewhere, talking to a girl from her english class, and you're left to watch as people dance, drink, and make questionable decisions.

"you look miserable," a voice says from beside you.

you turn and come face to face with park jongseong, jay, as everyone calls him. you know his name, even if you've never spoken before. he's older, popular, and has a reputation that follows him everywhere he goes.

flirt. player. fuckboy.

minju has warned you about him. "he's hot, yeah, but he's the kind of guy who doesn't do relationships. he flirts, hooks up, and moves on. trust me, i've seen it happen."

but none of that matters, because you have no plans to entertain him.

jay grins at you, leaning against the wall like he owns the place. he's got that easy confidence, the kind that comes with knowing he's attractive and that people want him.

"not a fan of parties?" he asks, tilting his head.

you shrug. "not really."

he chuckles. "then why are you here?"

"minju."

his eyebrows raise slightly. "you know minju?"

"from high school." you say, keeping your answers short.

"interesting," he muses, eyes scanning your face like he's trying to place you somewhere in his memory. he doesn't seem to recognize you, though, which isn't surprising. you've never exactly run in the same circles.

"so," he says, shifting closer. "wanna dance?"

it's not a question, not really. it's the kind of offer people don't usually refuse, not when it comes from him. jay park doesn't get turned down.

but you just blink at him and say, "no, thanks."

his smile falters, just for a second, before he recovers. "really? you sure? i promise i'm a good dancer."

"i'm sure." you say with a fake smile, giving off the vibe that you’re annoyed

he lets out a soft laugh, like he can't believe you're actually rejecting him. his ego must be bruised, but he hides it well, still looking at you with interest.

"alright," he says, stuffing his hands into his pockets. "then how about a drink? i can get you something better than… whatever that is." he nods at your cup.

"i'm good."

"wow," he murmurs, shaking his head in amusement. "you're really not making this easy for me, huh?"

"should i?"

he grins, running a hand through his dark hair. "most people do."

"well, i'm not most people."

jay studies you for a moment, like he's trying to figure out why you're different. why you're not reacting the way everyone else does. you don't bat your lashes at him, don't giggle or play into his flirting. and for some reason, instead of turning him away, it only seems to intrigue him more.

"i like you," he says suddenly.

you roll your eyes. "you don't even know me."

"not yet," he agrees, "but i’d like to."

there's something almost playful in his voice, but you know better. jay isn’t interested in getting to know people. he's interested in chasing, in winning. and right now, you’re just another game to him.

"keep liking me from a distance," you say, brushing past him.

you don’t look back, but you feel his eyes on you as you walk away.

for the first time in his life, park jongseong has been rejected. and somehow, you think that only makes him more determined.

—

you don't think much about your encounter with jay. to you, it was just another conversation at a party, one you barely wanted to be at in the first place.

but apparently, jay thinks otherwise.

it starts with small things.

you see him at the campus café, where he just so happens to show up right behind you in line.

"oh, hey," he says casually, as if running into you is pure coincidence.

you glance at him, unimpressed. "hey."

"what are you getting?"

you turn back to the menu. "haven't decided."

"let me guess," he hums, tapping a finger against his chin like he's solving some great mystery. "you seem like a caramel macchiato kind of person."

you raise a brow. "what does that even mean?"

jay grins, leaning in slightly. "sweet, but a little bitter if you get on their bad side."

"so basically, you're guessing."

"i call it an educated guess," he says, nodding at the cashier. "get one. my treat."

"no, thanks."

he lets out a dramatic sigh. "you really don't like accepting things from me, huh?"

"nope."

instead of looking discouraged, jay just watches as you place your order, an iced americano, completely different from what he guessed.

he chuckles. "so i was way off."

"yup."

you take your drink and leave without another word. jay doesn’t follow, but you swear you feel his stare on your back as you walk away.

it keeps happening.

and then, one afternoon, you’re sitting under a tree, trying to get through an assignment, when someone drops into the grass beside you.

"you always look so serious," jay muses.

you don’t even glance up. "because i'm trying to focus."

"right, right." he leans back on his hands. "but don't you ever take a break?"

"nope."

"come on," he nudges your knee with his. "five minutes won't kill you."

you sigh, finally looking at him. "do you need something?"

jay flashes you that same easy grin, the one that probably gets him whatever he wants. "just your company."

"i think you’ll survive without it."

he clutches his chest dramatically. "ouch. you wound me."

"you’ll live."

jay just laughs, shaking his head. "you know, you’re making this really difficult."

"making what difficult?"

"getting to know you."

"who said i wanted you to?"

he stares at you for a moment, eyes glinting with something unreadable. then, instead of answering, he stands up and dusts himself off.

"alright," he says, shoving his hands into his pockets. "guess i’ll try again tomorrow."

before you can process his words, he's already walking away.

"okay, what is going on?" minju asks a few days later, sliding into the seat across from you in the dining hall.

"what do you mean?"

she gestures dramatically. "you and jay. he keeps staring at you. he keeps showing up wherever you are."

"it's just a coincidence."

"coincidence my ass," she huffs. "he’s interested."

"interested in what? flirting with someone who doesn’t want to flirt back?"

"exactly!" minju exclaims. "he's never been rejected before! you’re like. like. his first loss."

"not a loss," you correct. "just… not a win."

"same thing in his mind." she leans in, eyes narrowing. "be honest. do you like him?"

you snort. "no."

"not even a little?"

"minju, he flirts with anything that breathes."

"true," she concedes, stabbing a piece of her salad. "but he’s never tried this hard before."

you roll your eyes. "and that’s exactly why i’m not interested. he only wants what he can’t have."

"so you think if you gave in, he’d lose interest?"

"obviously. but it’s not like i want him to be interested in the first place,”

but what you don’t see is jay, sitting at another table with jake and heeseung, watching you from across the room.

"so," heeseung says, "still trying?"

jay sips his drink, not looking away. "yup."

jake shakes his head, laughing. "dude, you're obsessed."

"i'm not obsessed," jay scoffs. "i'm just… interested."

heeseung raises a brow. "in what? winning?"

jay pauses. that should be the answer. that’s how it always is. he flirts, he wins, he moves on. but this time, it feels different.

"i dunno," he mutters, eyes still locked on you. "but i wanna find out."

and just like that, park jongseong makes it his mission to make you fall for him.

whether you want to or not.

—

you’re starting to think the universe has a cruel sense of humor.

there’s no other explanation for why jay park keeps showing up everywhere you go.

first, it’s the café… again. you stop by for your usual iced americano, and there he is, leaning against the counter like he has all the time in the world. when he sees you, his lips curl into a smirk.

"you stalking me now?" he teases.

you blink at him. "this is literally my usual spot."

"yeah?" he muses, stepping aside so you can order. "funny. seems like it’s mine now too."

you ignore him and pay for your drink, but as you turn to leave, he suddenly holds out a muffin. "here."

you frown. "what is this?"

"peace offering," he says. "for annoying you so much."

"i don't want it."

jay tuts, shaking his head. "harsh. you don’t like sweets?"

"i don’t like you."

he laughs, completely unbothered. "that’s not true. you just won’t admit you think i’m funny."

you roll your eyes and walk past him, but not before he calls out, "see you around!"

unfortunately, he’s right.

the second time, it’s the library.

you’re sitting at a table, halfway through an essay, when someone slides into the seat across from you.

you don’t need to look up. "seriously?"

jay rests his chin on his palm, grinning. "seriously."

"do you even study?"

"i do now." he gestures to his laptop, which, sure enough, is open.

you sigh and turn back to your work, ignoring him completely. for the first ten minutes, he’s quiet, and you start to think maybe—just maybe—he’s actually here to study.

but then he leans forward. "you always this focused?"

"yes."

"cute," he murmurs, just loud enough for you to hear.

you finally look at him, unimpressed. "why are you here?"

"what, a guy can’t expand his knowledge?"

"you haven’t typed a single word."

jay glances at his screen, where his essay is blank. he shrugs. "i’m thinking."

"about what?"

"about how long it’s gonna take for you to admit you like having me around."

you let out a slow breath, standing up and gathering your things. "good luck with that."

"where you going?"

"somewhere quiet."

jay watches you leave, the smirk never leaving his face.

you think that’s the end of it.

until your professor assigns a group project.

"you’ll be working in pairs," she says. "check the list for your partner."

you scan the names, looking for yours, and freeze.

park jongseong.

"you’ve got to be kidding me," you mutter.

"what?" minju asks, peering over your shoulder. then she snorts. "oh. wow. the universe really has it out for you."

you groan, dropping your head onto the desk.

"who’d you get?"

you glance up to see jisung standing beside you, holding his own paper.

"jay," minju answers for you.

jisung grimaces. "yikes."

"yep."

before you can say anything else, someone taps your shoulder.

"guess we’re partners," jay says, voice far too amused.

you sigh. "don’t remind me.”

—

working with jay is… not as painful as you expected.

you still don’t like him. obviously. but he’s not completely useless.

turns out, he’s actually smart. and organized. he doesn’t slack off or make you do all the work. and—annoyingly—he’s kind of funny.

you realize this when you’re both at the library, bouncing ideas off each other.

"okay, so we could go with this topic," you say, scrolling through the research.

jay hums. "or we could pick something that won’t make me want to throw myself off a building."

you bite back a smile. "dramatic much?"

"you’re underestimating my ability to get bored."

"i think that’s just your problem."

jay gasps, placing a hand over his chest. "ouch. i thought we were bonding."

"we’re working."

"same thing."

you shake your head, but you don’t argue.

slowly, things shift.

you still tell yourself that jay is just playing a game. but sometimes, you catch him looking at you—really looking—and for a moment, it doesn’t feel like one.

like when you’re at the library, and you yawn without thinking.

"tired?" he asks.

"obviously."

without a word, he slides his drink toward you.

you blink. "what—"

"it’s an americano," he says simply.

you hesitate, then take a sip. "it’s sweet."

jay shrugs. "i like sugar."

you give him a look. "so you were way off when you guessed my order last time."

he grins. "guess so."

you shake your head, but you don’t push the drink back.

—

"okay, so he’s not the worst person alive," you admit later.

minju stares at you. "who are you and what have you done with my friend?"

"i’m serious," you say. "he’s… fine. actually kind of helpful."

minju sighs. "that’s how it starts."

"how what starts?"

"you start thinking he’s not that bad. then, before you know it, you’re catching feelings."

"i’m not catching anything."

she gives you a look. "just be careful, okay? he’s only this persistent because you’re the first person to say no."

you nod, but her words stick in your head.

you tell yourself you don’t care.

but then one night, you’re leaving the library, and jay is waiting outside.

"walking alone at this hour?" he muses. "dangerous."

you raise an eyebrow. "and you’re what? my bodyguard?"

jay smirks. "i could be."

"no thanks."

"still," he says, falling into step beside you. "i’ll walk you back."

"you don’t have to."

"i know."

you sigh, but you let him.

the walk is quiet, save for the sound of your footsteps. when you reach your building, you stop.

"this is me," you say.

jay nods. "guess i’ll see you tomorrow."

"guess so."

he hesitates, then lifts a hand, ruffling your hair before you can react.

you blink. "what the—"

he just grins. "goodnight."

then he’s gone, leaving you standing there, heart doing something it definitely shouldn’t be doing.

this is bad.

really bad.

—

the next party is loud, too loud. music shakes the floor, conversations overlap, and the air is thick with the scent of alcohol and sweat. you don’t even know why you’re here.

well. you do.

minju dragged you out, saying you’ve been too cooped up with schoolwork and your stupid group project (which, unfortunately, includes jay park). jisung backed her up, insisting you needed to “socialize like a normal human being.”

so now you’re here, standing in the corner of someone’s crowded apartment, gripping a half-empty cup of soda because you don’t drink, and pretending you’re interested in whatever minju is talking about.

until you see him.

jay.

you tell yourself you shouldn’t be surprised. parties are his thing, after all. loud music, dim lighting, a sea of people who’d fall into his arms without hesitation.

he fits right in.

too well.

you spot him across the room, leaning against the wall, that lazy smirk on his lips. there’s a girl beside him, standing too close, laughing at something he just said. she tilts her head, twirling a strand of hair around her finger. jay doesn’t move away.

he says something else, something that makes her giggle, and then he leans in,,, just a little.

your stomach twists.

it’s stupid. so, so stupid.

this is what he does. this is who he is. he flirts with everyone. you’ve seen it before. you knew this about him before he even knew your name.

but tonight, it bothers you.

you don’t know why, and you don’t want to think about it.

"you okay?" minju asks, nudging your arm.

"yeah," you say too quickly. "just… tired."

she eyes you but doesn’t press. "wanna leave soon?"

you nod. "yeah."

but before you can say anything else, you feel a presence beside you.

"hey," a familiar voice says.

you turn, and there he is.

jay.

his smirk is gone.

"what do you want?" you ask, not in the mood for whatever game he’s playing tonight.

he hesitates, glancing at minju, then back at you. "can we talk?"

"no."

he sighs, rubbing the back of his neck. "please?"

minju looks between the two of you, then slowly backs away. "i’ll be over there," she says, pointing to jisung.

you cross your arms. "what?"

jay doesn’t answer right away. instead, he exhales, then jerks his head toward the door. "outside?"

you should say no. you should walk away. but there’s something in his eyes, something that makes your chest feel too tight, so you follow him out.

the cool night air is a relief against your heated skin. outside, the noise is muffled, distant, like the party belongs to a different world.

you stop a few steps away from the door, crossing your arms. "well?"

jay shoves his hands into his pockets. "you looked upset."

you scoff. "why do you care?"

"because," he says, stepping closer, "i do."

you laugh, but it’s humorless. "you flirt with someone else, then come running after me? what is this, jay?"

his jaw tightens. "it’s not like that."

"really? because it sure as hell looked like it."

"you think i do this with everyone?" his voice is sharper now, frustration leaking through. "yeah, i flirt, but this,whatever this is, is different, and you know it."

your breath catches.

different.

he said it first.

but that doesn’t change anything.

"do i?" you challenge. "because it looks exactly the same to me."

jay groans, running a hand through his hair. "i didn’t even realize what i was doing."

"that’s not making this better."

"i know!" he snaps. "i just—fuck."

he exhales, tilting his head back like he’s trying to find the right words in the sky. then, softer, he says, "it’s a habit, okay? flirting, keeping things surface-level. that’s just how i’ve always been."

you swallow, suddenly unsure. "then why are you here?"

jay takes another step forward, close enough that you can see the tension in his shoulders, the crease in his brows.

"because i don’t want this to be surface-level," he admits. "not with you."

the words knock the air out of your lungs.

for a moment, neither of you speak.

then you say, "so what? you want me to believe that you’re suddenly different?"

"i don’t know," he admits. "but i know i don’t want to fuck this up."

you stare at him, at the raw honesty in his expression.

this is dangerous territory.

you should walk away.

you don’t.

but then you think about that girl inside, the way he leaned in so easily, the way it took him this long to come after you.

"you say that," you murmur, voice quieter now, "but you still went back to your usual thing the second i wasn’t around."

jay flinches.

"it didn’t mean anything," he says, quickly, desperately. "i wasn’t even thinking about her."

"exactly," you say bitterly. "you weren’t thinking at all."

jay opens his mouth, then closes it.

"you don’t even realize what you’re doing," you continue, voice tight. "you don’t realize how easily you slip into old habits. you say this is different, but are you sure?"

"yes," jay says, without hesitation.

you laugh, but it’s broken. "then why do i feel like i’m just setting myself up to get hurt?"

he doesn’t have an answer for that.

silence stretches between you, heavy and suffocating.

jay looks like he wants to say something, to fix this somehow, but what is there to fix? he’s still the same jay park who flirts with everyone, who doesn’t think before he acts, who only realizes too late that he might actually care.

"you’re not ready for this," you whisper.

"i am," he insists, but there’s something fragile in his voice, something that tells you even he isn’t sure if he’s telling the truth.

you shake your head. "i don’t think you are."

jay reaches out, just a little, like he wants to touch you, like he wants you to stay.

but you step back.

his hand drops.

and with that, you turn around and walk away.

jay doesn’t call after you.

he doesn’t chase you this time.

and maybe that tells you everything you need to know.

—

you avoid him.

it’s not hard at first. you’re in different years, different circles. you stop going to the café where you know he likes to hang out between classes, ignore the parties minju tries to drag you to, and duck your head whenever you spot him on campus.

the only problem is that jay notices.

you’re not sure when it happens, but at some point, jay park—fuckboy, campus heartbreaker, the guy who shouldn’t care—is suddenly watching you.

you feel it in the way his eyes linger too long when you pass by in the hallway, in the way his conversations falter when you’re around, in the way his whole demeanor shifts whenever you deliberately turn away.

he doesn’t chase after you.

but he’s not ignoring it, either.

and that’s what makes it worse.

it would be easier if he didn’t care, if he went right back to flirting with someone else like nothing ever happened. but he doesn’t.

and that terrifies you.

so you run faster.

"okay, what is wrong with you?"

jay exhales sharply, gripping the pool cue tighter. "nothing."

"bullshit."

heeseung snatches the stick out of his hands before he can even attempt a shot. jay scowls, reaching for it, but heeseung just leans away.

"bro, you’ve been in the worst mood for, like, a week," jake says, spinning an unmarked beer bottle between his fingers. "just admit it."

jay glares. "admit what?"

heeseung rolls his eyes. "that you’re being a little bitch about this whole thing."

jay scoffs. "about what?"

"oh my god," jake groans. "are you in denial, or just stupid?"

jay clenches his jaw. "neither."

heeseung and jake share a look, and jay hates that they’re silently communicating in that annoying, knowing way that only best friends do.

"listen," heeseung starts, "you don’t do feelings. we get it. but this? whatever’s happening between you and—"

"don’t say their name," jay mutters, looking away.

heeseung smirks. "oh, so you do care?"

jay exhales, tilting his head back against the worn leather of the booth.

fuck.

he doesn’t know what this is.

he just knows that it sucks.

he didn’t think avoiding them would be a big deal. people walk away from him all the time, sometimes before he can even do it first.

but this?

this feels different.

it feels like something is missing. like something is slipping through his fingers and he’s too fucking slow to catch it.

"you don’t even like people," jake points out.

jay sighs. "i like you guys."

"yeah, but we don’t count," heeseung snorts. "we’re basically required to deal with your bullshit."

jay scoffs, shoving his shoulder, but heeseung just grins.

then, quieter, he says, "this is the first time you’ve actually looked miserable over someone."

jay doesn’t answer.

"so what are you gonna do about it?" jake asks.

jay exhales, drumming his fingers against the table.

he doesn’t know.

but he knows he can’t keep pretending this is nothing.

not anymore.

—

you don’t know why you look.

it’s just a normal afternoon. you’re heading toward the library, minju walking beside you, talking about something jisung said earlier.

and then you see him.

jay is standing near the campus courtyard, golden light catching the sharp edges of his jawline. he’s not alone.

there’s a girl with him. she’s standing close—too close. her hand is on his arm, fingers curling lightly around the sleeve of his jacket. she laughs at something he says, head tilting, eyes locked on his.

and jay?

jay just smiles.

it’s the same smile you’ve seen before, the same effortless charm, the same easy confidence that has made him a campus legend. he leans in slightly, talking low, his posture relaxed like he’s done this a thousand times.

because he has.

your chest tightens.

"hey, you okay?" minju asks beside you, nudging your arm.

you snap your gaze away, pulse quickening. you shouldn’t care. you knew what he was like before you even met him. you knew he flirted with anyone he found attractive, that he never had to try, that he never faced rejection.

you knew he was never meant to be serious.

so why does it feel like something inside you is caving in?

"yeah," you mumble. "just remembered something i have to do."

minju frowns, but you don’t give her a chance to question it. before she can say anything, you turn and walk the other way, ignoring the burning feeling in your chest.

you don’t look back.

and jay doesn’t notice you leaving.

yet, jay can tell something’s wrong.

he doesn’t know what it is, but he can feel it.

it’s in the way you won’t look at him, the way you walk past him like he’s just another face in the crowd.

at first, he thinks he’s imagining it. you were never friends to begin with—maybe you were just busy, maybe this is normal.

but the shift is undeniable.

before, you’d at least acknowledge him. you’d give him a polite nod, a passing glance, sometimes even a subtle eyeroll when you caught him flirting.

now?

nothing.

he sees you on campus, and you don’t even flinch.

he walks past your usual café, and you’re not there.

he catches you in the library and for a second. just a second. he swears you meet his gaze.

but then you turn away.

like he’s not even there.

he doesn’t plan to confront you.

but after a week of this, of whatever this is, he finds himself standing outside your dorm, hands shoved in his pockets, frustration bubbling under his skin.

he doesn’t even know why he’s here.

it’s not like you owe him anything.

but still, he knocks.

no answer.

he exhales sharply, rocking back on his heels, debating whether to try again.

then, he hears footsteps.

"what are you doing here?"

jay turns, finding jisung standing a few feet away, arms crossed.

"looking for y/n," jay says. "they’ve been… acting weird."

jisung raises an eyebrow. "and you just noticed?"

jay frowns. "what’s that supposed to mean?"

jisung exhales, shaking his head. "they saw you," he says simply.

jay’s stomach tightens. "...what?"

"the other day. in the courtyard. with that girl."

jay blinks, the memory slotting into place. shit.

"they saw you smiling at her," jisung continues, his voice even but firm. "letting her touch you. looking at her the way they thought—" he stops himself, sighing. "never mind."

jay’s pulse kicks up. "you think they—"

"they think they were stupid for believing you might actually be different with them," jisung cuts in, sharper now. "they think they almost fell for the same bullshit you pull on everyone else."

jay clenches his jaw.

fuck.

he wasn’t thinking. he didn’t even realize.

but now, remembering the moment, the way the girl had laughed, the way she had leaned in, the way he hadn’t pulled away—

he understands.

and it feels like he just lost something important without even knowing he had it.

"if you’re gonna say something, make it worth their time," jisung says. "because right now? they don’t want anything to do with you."

jay doesn’t answer.

because for the first time in his life, he’s the one who got it wrong.

he’s the one who let something real slip through his fingers.

and he has no idea how to fix it.

but he knows one thing—

he has to try.

—

you don’t expect him to be waiting for you.

it’s late. you just finished a study session with minju, and all you want is to go back to your dorm, crawl under the covers, and forget about everything—forget about him.

but as soon as you step into the dimly lit hallway leading to your room, you see him.

jay.

leaning against the wall, hands in his pockets, jaw tight, eyes dark with something unreadable.

your heart stutters.

you hesitate, debating whether to turn around, pretend you didn’t see him. but then he looks up—really looks at you—and you know there’s no escape.

"we need to talk," he says, pushing off the wall.

fuck jisung for letting him in.

"i don’t think we do," you mutter, stepping past him, reaching for your door.

but before you can, jay moves, his hand catching your wrist—gently, cautiously, like he’s afraid you’ll pull away.

"please," he says.

you freeze.

he’s never said please before. at least, not like this. not as desperate as this.

slowly, you turn to face him, sighing. "jay—"

"just let me say this," he cuts in, eyes burning with something raw, something you’ve never seen on him before. desperation.

you press your lips together but nod.

jay exhales, running a hand through his hair. "i—fuck, i don’t know how to do this," he mutters, shaking his head. "i’m not good at this."

"then don’t," you say, voice sharper than you intended. "don’t stand here and feed me some excuse about how you 'don’t do relationships' or 'didn’t mean to hurt me.' i don’t want to hear it."

jay flinches. "that’s not what i was gonna say."

you cross your arms. "then what?"

he swallows hard, eyes flickering to the floor before meeting yours again. "i—i don’t know how to do this, because i’ve never felt like this before."

your breath catches.

"i didn’t even realize what i was doing," jay continues, voice quieter now. "i didn’t think. i’ve never had to. flirting, messing around—it’s just… easy. but you—" he exhales sharply. "you make things different."

you shake your head. "jay—"

"i don’t want anyone else," he interrupts, stepping closer, voice steady. "just you."

your chest tightens.

"and when you get bored?" you ask, voice barely above a whisper. "when someone new comes along?"

jay shakes his head immediately. "i don’t think i could ever get bored of you."

it’s too much.

too much to believe, too much to trust, too much to risk.

"how am i supposed to believe that?" you ask, eyes searching his face. "how am i supposed to believe you won’t wake up one day and decide i was just another name on your list?"

jay exhales, stepping even closer, until there’s barely any space between you. "because no one’s ever made me feel like this before."

your pulse is loud in your ears.

"i don’t know how to do relationships," he admits, voice low, honest. "i don’t know how to be what you deserve. but i want to try. i want to figure it out—with you."

he’s so close now. close enough that you can smell the faint scent of his cologne, close enough that you can see the hesitation in his eyes, the fear of being rejected, of losing you.

you shouldn’t.

you should walk away.

you should protect yourself, guard your heart, not fall for the one person who could break you the easiest.

but then jay reaches up, fingers brushing against your cheek, his touch hesitant, almost trembling.

"please," he murmurs, his voice almost breaking.

jay park—unshakable, confident, the fuckboy—is breaking in front of you.

and against all logic, all reason—you fall.

before you can think, before you can stop yourself, you close the space between you.

his breath catches, just for a second, before his lips press against yours, warm and desperate.

jay kisses you like he’s afraid you’ll disappear, like he’s trying to prove every word he just said. his hands cup your face, pulling you closer, holding you like you’re something fragile—something precious.

and when you kiss him back, letting yourself believe—just for this moment—that maybe, just maybe, this could be real, he sighs against your lips, like he’s just found something he’s been searching for all along.

—

your relationship with jay park is different.

you knew it wouldn’t be easy, falling for someone who never had to try, who never had to work for love. but you never expected this.

never expected him to try so hard.

at first, it’s awkward. jay doesn’t know what he’s doing. he’s used to effortless flirting, meaningless hookups, relationships that start and end in the span of a night.

but with you?

he wants to be better. he wants to be different.

so he does things he’s never done before.

he waits for you after class, leaning against the wall with his hands in his pockets, eyes lighting up when he sees you.

"did you eat?" he asks one day, falling into step beside you.

you blink. "uh… yeah?"

jay nods, looking relieved. "okay. cool. just—yeah. cool."

he’s awkward. jay park, campus fuckboy, the smooth talker who never falters, is awkward.

you bite back a smile. "did you eat?"

he hesitates.

you raise an eyebrow. "jay."

he clears his throat. "…no."

you sigh, grabbing his sleeve and dragging him toward the campus café. he lets you, grinning like you just gave him the world.

the first time he reaches for your hand, it’s so casual that you almost miss it.

you’re sitting next to each other, watching a movie in the dorm common room. your hand rests between you, fingers brushing against his.

then, slowly, hesitantly, jay links his pinky with yours.

your heart stutters.

you glance at him, but he’s staring straight at the screen, his jaw tight, his ears slightly red.

you bite your lip.

then, without a word, you let your fingers slip fully into his.

jay stiffens for half a second. then, his grip tightens, and he exhales, shoulders relaxing.

he doesn’t let go for the rest of the movie.

he’s not used to jealousy.

or rather, he’s not used to his own jealousy.

he’s seen people get possessive over him before, watched girls glare when he flirted with someone new, felt the heat of their disappointment when they realized he wasn’t theirs.

but now?

now he understands.

he understands because he’s standing in the middle of campus, watching some guy—some random guy—smile at you like he has a chance.

and jay hates it.

he crosses the distance before he can think, sliding an arm around your waist, pulling you flush against his side.

"hey, baby," he murmurs, voice low, casual, possessive.

your eyes widen. "jay?"

"who’s this?" jay asks, looking at the guy.

the guy blinks, glancing between the two of you. "uh, just—just a classmate."

jay smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. "cool. yeah. we gotta go, though."

you barely have time to say goodbye before jay is leading you away, his grip firm but gentle.

once you’re out of earshot, you elbow him. "what was that?"

jay shrugs. "didn’t like the way he was looking at you."

you roll your eyes. "you can’t just—"

he stops walking, turning to face you, eyes serious. "i know i don’t have the right," he admits. "but i don’t like it. i don’t like the idea of someone else thinking they can have you."

your breath catches.

"you’re mine," jay says, voice softer now. "right?"

you stare at him for a moment.

then, finally, you sigh, reaching up to flick his forehead.

"yeah," you mutter. "i’m yours."

jay grins, rubbing his forehead. "damn right."

heeseung and jake pretend to be disgusted.

"you’re whipped," jake says, shaking his head.

"nah, man, this is worse than we thought," heeseung adds. "he’s holding hands in public."

jay glares at them from across the table, but he doesn’t let go of your hand.

"you guys are just mad i have a functional love life," he says.

jake snorts. "yeah, sure. functional."

"bet he calls them ‘baby’ over text," heeseung whispers loudly.

jake gasps. "you think he—"

"shut up," jay groans.

you’re trying not to laugh. "do you?"

jay glares at you, but his ears are red. "i hate you."

you grin. "you love me."

jay rolls his eyes.

but then, under the table, he gives your hand a squeeze.

and you know—

even if he’ll never admit it out loud—

he really does.

—

you constantly look back and don’t know when you started believing him.

maybe it was the first time he held your hand without thinking, his fingers curling around yours so naturally, like he didn’t need to pretend anymore.

or maybe it was when he let you steal his hoodie, even though you were sure he’d never let anyone do that before.

or maybe—just maybe—it was when you saw the way he looked at you.

because it’s different now.

jay park, the guy who used to flirt with anyone just for fun, the guy who never stuck around, only looks at you.

"okay, but seriously," jake says, pointing a fry at jay. "how the hell did this happen?"

you’re sitting in the corner booth of a diner near campus, squeezed between jay and the wall. heeseung and jake are across from you, both staring like you’re some kind of unsolvable mystery.

jay takes a slow sip of his drink. "what do you mean?"

"you!" heeseung gestures wildly. "relationship jay. committed jay. ‘not flirting with every breathing human’ jay."

"it’s called growth," jay deadpans.

"it’s called ‘i fell first, and i fell hard,’" jake teases, smirking.

jay huffs. "whatever, man."

but he doesn’t deny it.

heeseung leans forward, grinning. "okay, but who confessed first?"

jay opens his mouth—

"me, obviously," you interrupt.

jay’s head snaps toward you. "what?"

you shrug. "you’re a coward. took you forever to admit you liked me."

jake laughs. "ohhh, he got you there."

jay glares at you, but you just smile, nudging his foot under the table.

you laugh, “joking, it’s complicated.”

heeseung rests his chin in his palm. "man, i never thought i’d see the day."

"what day?" you ask, amused.

"the day jay park became a simp."

jay groans, burying his face in his hands. "i hate all of you."

you pat his arm. "no, you don’t."

he exhales, tilting his head to look at you. his eyes soften.

"yeah," he murmurs. "i don’t."

—

later that night, after jay walks you back to your dorm, you linger outside the door.

he doesn’t leave right away.

instead, he leans against the wall, hands in his pockets, just looking at you.

you tilt your head. "what?"

jay hesitates, then exhales sharply.

"it’s weird," he mutters. "this whole time, i thought i had everything figured out. i thought i knew what i wanted. but then you came along, and suddenly, nothing made sense anymore."

your chest tightens.

"i didn’t get it at first," jay continues, eyes flickering to the ground. "why i got so annoyed when you ignored me. why i kept looking for you in every room. why i couldn’t flirt with anyone else without feeling like it was wrong."

he finally meets your gaze.

"but now i do."

your fingers tighten around the door handle, heartbeat loud in your ears.

"i don’t want to be the guy i was before," he murmurs. "not with you."

you swallow. "jay—"

"i know i’m not good at this," he cuts in. "i know i’m gonna mess up. i know i don’t deserve you."

his voice drops lower, almost hesitant. almost afraid.

"but i want to try. and i want you to let me."

for a moment, neither of you speak.

then, finally—

you sigh, shaking your head. "god, you’re such an idiot."

jay blinks. "huh?"

you step forward, grabbing the collar of his hoodie and pulling him down until your foreheads touch.

"you’ve had me this whole time," you murmur.

jay’s breath stutters.

then, slowly—hesitantly—his arms wrap around you, holding you against him, warm and real.

"yeah?" he whispers.

you nod. "yeah."

jay exhales a shaky laugh, squeezing you tighter.

"thank god," he mutters. "i don’t think i could’ve handled losing you."

you smile against his shoulder.

neither could you.

397 notes · View notes

rosedere · 8 months ago

Text

The Pearl Brooch

(Yan Sea god! Azul Ashengrotto x Afab sacrifice reader)

Cw: Yandere, (actually this story is pretty tame tbh)

“Do you think your roommate is going to get the pearl brooch this year?”

You stopped suddenly behind the girl you were walking besides on the walking trail, the only trail, that led towards the end of the craggy coastline that protected your village. You didn't really know this girl, only that they’d occasionally talk to you once in a while in passing from school, and in cases like this, just randomly running into them on your walking trail.

However, it didn't mean you liked running into them.

”Probably,” you scoffed, kicking a stray rock on the path.

”She does have all the qualities the Great Sea witch wants in his Pearl brides,” you shrugged.

The girl ran a few fingers in her teal strands, combing the black streak, attempting to put her hair in a half-ponytail, half-down hairstyle.

”I would argue she doesn't,” she hummed.

You looked over at her to read her expression; she was merely looking up at the bright, sunny sky above the two of you, enjoying the clear weather that had been a welcomed surprise after the tsunamis that plagued your small village around this time of the summer.

”Okay, I'll bite; you wanna tell me who you think is going to get it this year?” You scrunched your face in annoyance.

”Not her, that's for sure,” your strange friend quickly responded.

”Come on, tell me! Let’s make a wager. I need some money and entertainment since I’ve aged out of the brooch ceremony.” You held your hands in a fist of determination, stopping in front of your strange, tall acquaintance.

She finally stopped walking beside you, smiling towards you with a glint of sincerity. Pausing in your movements, you made eye contact with her mismatched eyes.

”Im afraid to say so in case you let it get to your head,” she shrugged, “and this year is supposed to be a special year anyhow, why ruin the surprise, especially since my accuracy on who the next bride is never off”.

Confused more than ever, you furrowed your brow.

”So you're saying Alaina isn't the pearl bride this year?” You scratched your head.

”That's a very bold claim to make,” you thoughtfully added.

Your friend only nodded, still walking close to you.

“Is it maybe one of the girls from the inner village—I heard our village leader's daughter has great potential to be a pearl bride”

only silence from your teal-haired friend as she kept smiling to herself, it almost annoyed you, seeming like she wasn't listening to a word you said.

”Okay, what if it's the fisherman’s daughter! She’s got the prettiest eyes; they remind me of a babydoll!” You confidently said.

Your friend only kept walking straight, most likely ignoring your guesses.

Getting annoyed at this point, whoever it might be, you decided to have a little fun with your answer.

”Oh well, guess Im going to be the pearl brooch holder then,” you laughed to yourself, “I do love the ocean, so I doubt he'd need to summon me to the ceremony,” you continued teasing.

But instead of a uncomfortable grimace youd normally recieve when you'd talk about yourself her small smile stayed firm before she eventually stopped walking, only looking down at the rocky and gravel path ahead of the two of you.

”Oops, sorry if my answer offended you." You apologized, “Im sure you are probably pretty enough to be given—“

”(Name)”

You looked to your side in confusion, only seeing her with a coy smile on her lips her eyes never meeting you once.

”Just be looking out,” she mumbled.

The sea witch is always watching.

The next morning, you awoke not expecting much; it was a weekend, meaning you were free to go back down to the misty ocean below past the forest and down the slope where you lived.

Recoiling and grabbing your foot to make sure it wasn't bleeding was when you looked down to find the source of the cut now stinging harshly on the bottom of your foot.

Only as you unceremoniously stepped out the door to your small home beginning your benign routine instead was followed a sharp cut straight through your bare foot.

For a moment you were numb until the sharp end of whatever was beneath your foot fell off.

You assumed at first it was one of the shells you had left a few days ago on your doorstep, only to discover that you had forgotten it when you went back inside the other day just now.

But when you picked it up to give the intricate bundle of shells a closer look, you realized it couldn't have been any shell you'd found—the way the shells were fused together created a small ornamental piece that was most likely not formed naturally.

The shells being also too massive for you to have found on the shoreline reminded you of shells you'd heard were at the bottom of the ocean near the reefs; again unnatural for your receeding shoal you picked from.

Turning it around to look at the back made a soft jingling from where the porous shells were tied using some kind of plant you had never seen near by.

Just like the rumored brooch would.

Turning the shells once more your eyes widen when you saw the small, intricate deep sea pearls tied around the shells at the bottom, creating an iridescent shine that inflected any light the sun rays hit.

Quickly dropping the brooch on the doorstep you looked around, You knew no one would have seen what had occurred considering how far you lived off the grid, the fear of accidentally being seen and being jailed for touching the mythical brooch was not in your plans today.

Staring in awe at the brooch for a while after settling down, the realization that no one had ever seen it before unless you were the recipient reminded you of how special the small palm sized relic was.

Your heart was wildly beating before now with fear was beginning to calm down.

Limping on your way, you looked at the entrance besides the side of your connected house's own small enterance way. They were very close to each other, two footsteps away from each other at the very least you deduced.

Maybe the pelican got confused and delivered it to your entrance, thinking your house was your roommate's...

That's it; the pelican delivered the brooch to the wrong door you sighed to yourself.

It wouldn't be a crime to deliver it to its rightful owner now.

Bending over, you scooped the brooch up carefully, holding it in your cupped hands. Hobbling down the rocky sediment around your yard to avoid being seen, you made it to the other entrance where your roommate lived, the lively garden she had blooming to life as you passed by the different vegetation she had nearby.

Dropping it as carefully as you could on the stone entryway, you left it in the middle of her doorstep.

Without hesitation or another word, you left, going back on your journey to the sea below to collect shells.

It was around the early evening when you went back home to make dinner that you saw the crowds around your house.

your roommate in the middle of the immense crowd, all in a daze over the brooch on her wrist as she showed all of the gawking women and children around her.

”I knew she’d be the last bride of the sea witch.”

”The sea witch must really love her if he added that many pearls to it.”

”Of course he’d pick a young maiden, it means we’ll have a fertile crop season this year.”

You felt your heart sink a little. Despite not having any interest in being a bride, it still hurt to know you weren't as beautiful to be picked to be the last Pearl bride of the great sea witch.

Instead of retiring for the day, you went back out to the slope with your dinner in the hopes you could find some rare shells to sell in town for the ceremony.

Despite your dull heartache, you gave congratulations to your roommate before you went inside to make your dinner.

Which like most things that would bother you, your doubts and self loathing disappeared as you made your meal for the evening of crisp fish and potatoes and vegetable bake.

Little did you notice the mismatched eyes blending in with the throngs of people; watching, as you trekked on the trail you always took away to the coastline.

Nevertheless, you went through the various obstacles including masses of rock and trees, a few different sandbanks that were revealed by the low tide. Reaching the base of the tall rocky shelves and doing some careful hiking down, you went about your usual walk: starting from the cliffs all the way down the peninsula in search of shells that would fetch a high price.

Letting your toes be soaked in the crystal blue water, you let the sea foam gather around as you sifted through the sand in search of anything new.

You walked over the squishy sand in pursuit of whatever was in the water, hoping it wouldn't move once it sensed you.

It was only when the golden hour began was then that you noticed that beyond the receding water was something further out in the rocky seabed besides you.

At first, you could only see the darkness like a shadow in the water; small specks of luminescence filled the spot that was catching your attention.

As you approached the dark spot, it slowly began to rise from the water, eyes of a clear glacier looked back at you in the water.

After a few footsteps too close, slited eyes focused on you, almost as if it were trying to recognize you.

The shadow in the water began to grow, making the everclear water seem inky with blooms of obsidans.

You backed up.

It only crept closer to you.

With adrenaline coursing through your veins, you ran carefully, dodging the rocky sands in the water and making it to shore.

Not daring to turn back, you climbed a lone stone wall to get to the top of the cliff.

When it felt like you were safe from whatever that thing was in the water, you turned back to the sandbar. It wasn't as if you could see that far if the creature was still in the rocky shoals. A few hyperventilated breaths, you made the agonizing walk back through the now crowded forest leading to your safe haven.

As the day approached for the pearl bride to be received at the festival the village threw, You were reminded of the ceremony every time you stepped out.

Either finding shipwrecked treasure or different pearls and sea glass where you had previously found the pearl brooch from a few weeks ago.

Repeating the process with a dull heartache, you would grab them and return them to your roommate's doorstep before going out to fulfill your quota for the week.

After all, you were hoping the masses attending the festival would bring new revenue to you since almost everyone from the island and a few from beyond would come just to see the Venus be given away.

You were about to walk out early in the morning to avoid the throngs of people at your roommate's door praying to just miss the whole occasion until she called out amongst the crowd for you to be one of the few that would escort her to the ceremonial grounds.

And finally today was the day you will be reminded of the event when you watch the townspeople take her away, decorated in frills and lace with adorning pearls, looking like a Venus in a shell.

The sudden attention from several men and women made you agree, as you took a spot behind her besides a few of the other people holding her dress and veil.

Quietly following behind the crowd as they sang praises and songs in case the Benevolent Sea Witch could hear them as they got their bride ready.

For living in the town your whole life, though youd never witnessed one of these ceremonies, only ever being occupied looking at the different vendors and stalls of food that would come from all over the island to celebrate the Sea Witch.

As you all approached the harbor, walking down the steep and uneven cliffside you had both lived on for several years unbothered, you could begin to see the many people line the streets eagerly waiting to see a glimpse of the Venus bride, She walked with a slow gait, letting the dress pool around her slim figure, shining like fish scales with every step she took on the sandstone road leading to the harbor's mouth.

You felt bad not being able to see the importance of this festival as the people around you did, but most of your thoughts were revolving around how fast you could make it back home with the few shells you had collected for the week to try to peddle off after the bride would be received.

Suddenly, you felt yourself go off balance. Looking around your surroundings, everyone around you also followed your lead.

The ground was shaking.

The witch was arising from the depths.

Everyone began to enthusiastically pick up the pace, holding the bride's clothes to make sure she wouldn't get dirty from the kicked up dust before meeting her betrothed.

Approaching the harbor's mouth, you could see even more people gathered there around the harbor ropes, eager to get a glimpse of the water and the bride.

Looking in the crowd, you saw your friend, her mismatched eyes accidentally meeting yours.

Your breath hitched when you saw beside her—well, what seemed to be her, the same teal hair and the same dark black stripe in her hair, They both looked at you in silent interest as you and the precession walked past her.

Deciding it wasn't worth it to think too much about it, you began to focus on the seascape before you. The aftershocks meant the sea witch was finally arising from the depths.

“She’s ready,” a villager from the front said.

You all, in unison, let go of her clothing, stopping a few meters away from the decorated area where the ceremony would take place. You could see a little bit past the throngs of people, her walk a slow and elegant gait; a befitting walk for a Sea queen, towards the ceremonial ground as you all stood in awe, watching for her to take her place.

Looking up at the sky, you noticed the clear and sunny sky seemed to waver a bit—not exactly cloudy and stormy, but the sky was turning a light shade grey maming the sky seem muted.

A rumble shook you once again, causing you to fight to stay upright as a mass of darkness began to form in the crystal waters ahead of you.

“He’s here!”

“The Benevolent Sea Witch”

A few people began to run to the waterfront and stop to bow in respect.

You stayed with a few other spectators, watching the bride eagerly fix her hair in anticipation.

The first thing you saw was that the dark, meaty tentacle rose from the water.

Then it was followed by six more monstrous-sized tentacles.

It was when he rose that you felt yourself gasp.

But the sea witch did not say a word, only scanning the crowd before resting his eye on the ceremonial grounds in front of him.

The monstrous entity looked around the crowds of people praising him.

Half man; Half mer.

His Striking otherwordly blue hues focused below him at his subjects.

A noise was made that sounded like gargling or clicking—you weren't entirely sure—before he crawled closer to the harbor, opening ever so slowly.

Your eye was caught by the huge nauctulus shell around his neck, which was shining gold.

It reminded you of the few shells you found littered around your doorstep.

His many tentacles eventually came into clearer view as he began to lift the two that you presumed acted as his second pair of arms began to slither on the sandstone towards the shell.

“your highness”

The tentacles stopped slithering.

“Im afraid your people have tried to deceive you,my lord.”

You felt someone grab both of your arms from behind.

Wildly trying to flail out of the grasp, you soon felt them tugging you towards the monstrous being looking down straight at you.

Or who was behind you.

Your weird friend was walking before the monstrous being, who was staring with icy-slit hues.

“Your endless sea is right here.”

You flinched as they threw you down on the ground, only a few meters in front of the huge tentacles.

Too scared to look up, you only looked besides you to see your friend and her double beside and behind you. Your roommate confused as she stood with the veil and brooch on her intricate dress looking at your cornered self.

A loud rumble resounded above you; the sky was not a dark and angry one; rain seemed imminent.

“You dare lie to me.”

A powerful timbre spoke from what seemed to be everywhere.

A tentacle began to rise and violently swipe at the harbor ropes where everyone was gathered, many people being violently tossed in either direction, some hitting into buildings while a mass of unlucky ones were thrown into the deep frigid harbor below.

“She had the brooch of our almighty.”

“The gifts were laid on their doorstep.”

“Please have mercy on our mistake.”

You were still trying to absorb the scene laid out for you in front of the harbor opening, but you failed to notice the large tentacle start to slither and writhe towards where you were being held against your will.

The cold, suctioned tentacle began to wrap around your waist, attaching to your skin.

It twitched around you before it grasped hard around your waist, causing you to yell.

“This is my bride,” the voice boomed once more.

You felt yourself being lifted from the ground, everyone around you shrinking into colorful dots as your familiar land became distant.

Little did you know this was the last time you’d seen the village you lived your whole life in.

Waves of torrential size rose from the now-dark and raging waters before they swallowed everything and everyone you knew.

Watching the punishment of a divine being was the worst thing to have witnessed.

And it was your last memory before you were engulfed in your beloved sea, and your life before being crowned the benevolent sea witch's wife and Queen of the depths.

Note: oh man the temptation to make this an actual fic fic haha.

also forgot but requested on Ao3 by a guest <3

#yandere twst #yandere azul ashengrotto #azul ashengrotto x yuu #reader insert #yandere x you #yandere twisted wonderland #yandere x reader #yandere azul ashengrotto x reader

278 notes · View notes

therealcocoshady · 10 months ago

Note

Marshall being a boy dad ?? 👀👀

MARSHALL MATHERS BEING A BOY DAD HEADCANON

Author's Note : I love receiving requests for fics & HCs ❤️ You can definitely keep sending them my way 👀! Also to give you guys a quick update on Recovery : Chapter 34 is in the works but I have been working on a few different things for this blog so it's taking a little more time than expected ! 😅 That being said, I have many ideas for this fic and I think I have finally figured out the ending 👀. Going back to this HC, from what I see in my Ask, you guys are suckers for the whole Marshall Mathers being a Dad trope and I cannot blame you 🙊. Here I am, sharing what I think he would be like, being a boy dad - Let me know what you think !!!

This HC is my very own take on Marshall being a boy dad but, just in case you haven't read it - @theboujeestofboujee also wrote something similar that was absolutely adoralble "How He treats Your Son"

BEFORE THE BABY’S BIRTH

Doesn’t matter if the baby is a boy or a girl : he is a big softie with his little one

After raising three girls, he is really overjoyed to have a son

Before finding out the gender, he swears he doesn’t care « As long as the baby is healthy, it doesn’t matter »

BUT once he knows he is having a son ? So happy.

He wasn’t really in a baby clothes frenzy for his daughters but for his son ? He might get a little carried away.

His little one is definitely getting some cool baby sneakers and cute outfits

Contrary to what a lot of people think and expect : he does NOT name his son Marshall Bruce Mathers IV

He doesn’t want to pay homage to his own father

He is not an egomaniac

He doesn’t want his boy to be crushed by the weight of expectations - he knows it’s going to be hard enough when people know he is Eminem’s son

For privacy reason, his son might use his mother’s name on a daily basis (just like his daughters went by Scott)

Baby boy’s middle name might be Deshaun, in honor of Proof - one of the best men he has ever known

Either Denaun or Royce is his son’s godfather

BIRTH / AFTER THE BIRTH

He takes time off before the end of the pregnancy - doesn't matter if he has to postpone a tour or an album : family first

Wouldn’t miss his son’s birth for the world

He is happy his son takes a bit after him. But even more if he looks like his mother.

« Thank God he has your nose »

OR « Jesus Christ… He has my ears. »

He announces he is a Dad for the 4th time but he is intent on protecting his baby’s privacy - he has definitely learned a few lessons

May not even do the announcement before the baby is a few months old

Do not expect him to share pictures of his son on social media - NOT HAPPENING

At most, he will share a picture of the baby's hand for the announcement and that's it

Definitely takes time to enjoy life with his newborn son and the baby’s mother

Every second he spends with his newborn baby fills him with joy

He doesn’t mind doing the late night feedings or being on diaper duty

He gets his son’s name tattooed on him soon after the birth

Might not be somewhere too visible, though, especially is he chooses not to share his son’s name publicly

If someone leaks any information about his son, he will lose his shit

He usually doesn’t care if a paparazzi snaps a picture of him but his son ? That pap is in big trouble indeed

In interviews, he refuses to answer questions about his family. The most a journalist will get from him about his son is : "Yeah, he's doing great" or "It's fun being a boy dad"

GROWING UP

Just like with Alaina, Hailie and Stevie, he is adamant on teaching his son some good manners. No big difference there

However, he tends to be a little more strict with his son - because he knows what being a boy is like

That being said, he’s not much of a disciplinarian

As long as his kids behave well and do well in school, he is pretty lenient

Especially when he sees so much of himself in his son

He loves his kids equally but he has a soft spot for his son because a) he is the youngest and his last child b) he is the only boy in the family, besides himself

He is a fun dad and he loves doing stuff with his children

Just like with his daughters, he makes it a point to be there for every important moment

He does not doubt his wife/girlfriend/baby’s mother’s ability when it comes to parenting but he wants his son to have a good, strong male presence in his life

He also pressures himself on being a good role model

Definitely a stressed out Dad - not when his son is a baby (diapers and bottle feeding are the easy part) but more as he grows up. He constantly worries about setting up a good example for his baby boy.

His son better respect women. He won’t have it any other way.

He leads by example : he treats his baby’s mother very well, same goes for his daughters (obviously)

When he grows up, he has to have the « just because Dad says some stuff in his songs doesn’t mean it’s true » conversation with his son.

The « no swearing » rule is still very much in place

And if his son ever calls a woman a colorful name or disrespects a girl in front if him ? He is in BIG trouble.

He teaches his son to respect everyone and makes sure his boy is polite from a very young age

He also makes sure his son knows not to take any disrespect. He teaches him that violence does not solve any issue but he will not have his son be bullied like he was.

He would not force his son to practice any activity he doesn’t want to

If his son wants to do ballet, he will show up to every recital and be the proudest Dad in the room - same goes for any other sport or artistic pursuit

But hopefully he can share his passion of either Football or Basketball with his boy

Baby boy sees his first Lions and Pistons game at a young age - doesn’t understand a thing but Marshall is too happy anyway

What do you think ? What would you add ? 👀

#eminem #marshall mathers #eminem fanfiction #slim shady #eminem x reader #eminem fluff #eminem imagine #marshall mathers x reader #marshall mathers imagine #marshall mathers headcanon #eminem headcanons #8 mile #jimmy smith jr #b rabbit

276 notes · View notes

itsjuststardust · 3 months ago

Text

Heaven in Hiding - Chapter 16: The Cord That Binds

Heaven in Hiding Masterlist

Chapter Summary: And if someone overpowers one person, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not easily broken.

Word Count: 14,337

Author's Note/Chapter Warnings: MINORS - DO NOT INTERACT - 18+ ONLY 🎵Chapter soundtrack(s)🎵 'So High School' - Taylor Swift; 'Maroon' - Taylor Swift; 'As It Was' - Hozier

Chapter 16: The Cord That Binds

Alaina couldn’t stop grinning.

The day had started… not so great.

Her sour mood started yesterday when she shattered her hand by punching Mando’s helmet. But then they learned that the kid could heal people, and then said kid passed out, and they spent the rest of the afternoon and into the evening worried over him. Not to mention her persistent headache, only amplified by the stress of the day before. By the time dinner came around, Alaina just wanted to go to sleep and be done for the day.

She tried to hide her tears from Mando, but she knew she hadn't been successful the second he began removing his armor. However, when Mando’s strong arms wrapped around her and held her tightly to his chest, Alaina thought he had single-handedly chased off her bad mood. Only her sour mood bled into the next day when she woke up this morning. She just kept staring at that spot on the floor where she had been pinned to the ground and was suddenly overcome with the need to scrub the entire hold, wiping Calican's memory clean from the Razor Crest.

The cleaning had worked… to an extent. She maybe wouldn’t be able to wipe the slate clean, but she did find a radio. And oh, to be able to listen to music again. That little radio had already lifted her spirits so much…

And then Mando returned from hunting and…

Her eyes flicked to the Mandalorian polishing his armor across from her, and her smile grew.

Maker, she felt like a teenager enamored by her first crush all over again. It was all a bit silly, really. The whole day had been just that—silly. She didn’t know what had gotten into Mando, but she was thankful for his spurt of child-like insanity. Their afternoon spent swimming at the lake was just what she needed to snap out of her funk.

The afternoon had been perfect.

“What do you see when you have one of your visions?”

Alaina blinked at Mando’s question and looked up from the pot she was stirring to fix him with a frown. “Why?”

Mando shrugged as he continued to polish his chestpiece. “Just curious,” he answered, trying to appear nonchalant about the question. “Just thought I could get to know you a little better. Thought you’d like having someone who understood what happens when you have one.”

She narrowed her eyes at the casual way he asked the random question… almost too casual. What was he up to? When Alaina didn’t answer his question, he looked up from polishing his armor, and she stared back at him with a single, high arching eyebrow, a sure sign that she didn’t believe him.

“What?” he asked with an innocent tilt of his helmet.

“Normally, people start with easier topics when they are trying to get to know someone. Things like, ‘What’s your favorite color?’ or ‘How old were you when you started dancing?’ or ‘I see you’re traveling with a Mandalorian; how long have you been friends with a bounty hunter?’” she snarked.

“Yeah, well, I don’t think we’ve gone about things the way normal people do,” he shot back, but she could hear the easy, teasing tone in his deep voice that put her at ease.

Alaina smirked back at him before returning to stirring the stew and saying, “You mean normal people don’t meet all their friends by being their bounty?”

He chuckled and shook his head as he returned to polishing his armor.

When they made it back to the Crest, Mando worked to push the heavy crates Alaina had managed to push out earlier while she gathered the other odds and ends back inside just as the skies opened up. She was still highly suspicious that Grogu used his powers to help her move the heavy containers. Otherwise, there was no way she was strong enough to get them out, especially once she watched Mando struggle to push them back up the ramp.

He left the ramp open at Alaina’s behest so they could watch the storm roll through as rain poured from the black clouds, blanketing the sky overhead. They took turns showering the lake off them and changing into dry clothes before they started working on dinner. Mando prepared the rabbit he had caught earlier. Alaina sorted through some of the dehydrated vegetables and spices the villagers on Sorgan gave them and began making a stew that smelled delicious, if she did say so herself.

It was all very domestic—an afternoon spent swimming at the lake, working on dinner together, and now the three of them were lounging on the hold floor in companionable silence. Grogu was near the ramp, watching the storm with rapt fascination. Alaina was barefoot, dressed only in his old tunic, and had a towel wrapped around her head, hiding her hair while she knelt in front of the electric warmer and pot, focusing on dinner.

After Mando’s shower, she was surprised to see him decide to join his companions in their casual attire and redress in one of his older, threadbare black short-sleeved shirts and a pair of black sweats she’d never seen him wear before.

Alaina couldn’t help the smile that blossomed across her face at the first glimpse of his bare arms and feet, free of their usual coverings. Her smile was even brighter when he tilted his helmet at her as he sat across from her, almost daring her to say something before he began to polish his armor.

“Black,” he said randomly, trading his chestpiece for a vambrace.

Alaina frowned, took the spoon out of the pot, and placed a lid over it before moving to sit on the floor. “Black?” she asked, resting her back against one of the crates.

He nodded, “If you would have asked me five years ago, I would have told you my favorite color was black.”

Alaina smiled at his answer. “Five years ago, huh? And what if I were to ask you now?” she asked as she unwrapped the towel from her head, allowing her damp hair to cascade around her.

Mando paused from rubbing his vambrace with a rag to fix Alaina with his helmet before answering with, “Green.”

A soft, pink blush blossomed across Alaina’s cheeks at his answer, and she ducked her head from view. With her face slightly hidden, she used the towel previously wrapped around her hair to scrunch the remaining moisture from her blonde locks.

“Let me guess,” Mando started, resting an arm over his knee. “Your favorite color is pink?” he teased.

Alaina stuck her tongue out at him and tossed her wet towel at him. “And what if it is?”

“Pink? Really?” he half grumbled, tossing her wet towel off to the side.

Alaina rolled her eyes and laughed. “Mando, I’m a ballerina who, until five years ago, didn’t even know what a Mandalorian was and, before that, was content to live my life as a basic girlie girl.”

“Basic… girlie girl?” he questioned slowly, attempting to decipher Alaina’s description of herself.

She snickered at his confused words. “You know, like when someone says, ‘Oh, there’s a girl,' and your mind automatically goes to dresses, flowers, and pink? Basic.”

Mando’s helmet remained fixed on her in silence as if he didn’t understand her words. Of course, with Mando’s lifestyle, she realized that he’d probably never had any interactions with your typical girlie girl for him to understand what she was talking about.

“Never mind,” Alaina shook her head and rolled her eyes at his silence. “And for your information, my favorite color is yellow,” she told him, smirking when he tilted his helmet again at the new information.

Lightning lit up the sky quickly, followed by a loud crash of thunder that made the three of them jump.

Grogu let out a quiet eep at the booming thunder that echoed around the hold. The adults watched the toddler as he waddled from his spot near the ramp and came to sit between them. The Child’s eyes drooped as he fought to stay awake, but she could feel that he was hungry and knew he would drop off the moment his stomach was full. Alaina gave him a comforting smile as she soothed the child by gently stroking his head with her fingers before standing up to walk back to the alcove. She had to stand on her toes to search the kid’s hammock, but finding his stuffed frog didn’t take long.

“There you go,” she said, her voice sugary sweet as she passed the toy to the toddler. “I used to be scared of storms when I was little, too. But now they are one of my favorite things to watch.”

Grogu gave her a couple of slow, sleepy blinks before he clutched his stuffed frog tightly to his chest and let out a quiet coo while he focused on the pot cooking in front of him instead of the storm outside.

“Doesn’t seem very girlie girl to like storms,” Mando commented, setting aside his last piece of armor.

Alaina shrugged and moved to check on the stew. Once the lid was off the pot, she closed her eyes in contentment as the delicious smells wafted under her nose. She wasn’t the only one who thought it smelled good, too, judging by Grogu’s excited squeal that barely covered Mando’s growling stomach. With one last stir of their dinner, she ladled them each a helping of her rabbit stew before passing her companions their bowls.

“My mom had a thing for watching the weather. Rain, storms, snow, it didn’t matter. Just something that rubbed off on me, I guess. The rain and snow were soothing, but I was always partial to watching the lightning,” she told him, moving to retake her spot on the floor. “What about you?”

Mando cocked his helmet at the question, “What about me?”

“Do you ever just sit back and watch the weather?” she questioned, taking a bite of her stew.

“I prefer a clear sky,” he answered, stirring his bowl. “Any other kind of weather is a hindrance to the job.”

She rolled her eyes and opened her mouth to speak, but whatever Alaina was about to say was cut off by the kid banging his spoon against the bowl. “No, Grogu,” she began, showing him how to hold the spoon in his small, three-fingered hand. “See, you use it to eat your stew.”

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Mando turn away from them to lift his helmet and take a sip straight from his bowl. Her lips quirked when she heard a hum of appreciation from the ordinarily stoic Mandalorian. Maybe he’d understand why she hated his ration packs now. Alaina returned her attention to Grogu to help him with his spoon, but his focus was entirely on watching Mando eat his dinner. When she watched Grogu’s ears perk, she knew he was about to ignore her lecture about proper dining etiquette. Grogu dropped his spoon on the ground only a second later, grabbed his bowl between his hands, and took a sip from it, copying Mando.

“Grogu, manners,” Alaina tutted at the child and turned just in time to see Mando turn to take a sip straight from the bowl. “Really?” she grumbled, and he shrugged his shoulders. “You’re teaching him bad habits.”

“It’s kind of difficult to eat soup with the helmet on,” he countered, lifting the bowl up. “But if manners are that important to you, I can go up top to eat.”

Alaina pouted and looked between him and the kid before she heaved a sigh, dropped her spoon to the floor, and took a sip straight from her bowl. Grogu smiled brightly at Alaina’s change in attitude and lifted his own bowl back up for another sip.

“I’m guessing this isn’t how the dinner parties you keep mentioning usually go?” Mando asked, amusement lacing his question before turning away to take another deep drink from his bowl.

Alaina let out a snort at his question. “No, not exactly,” she confirmed. “My dinner parties usually had a few more people, and everyone there knew how to use their eating utensils,” she groused, taking a sip from her bowl. “I also normally wore pants to my own parties,” she added, looking down at her bare legs sticking out from under her shirt.

Mando chuckled at her, “What other kinds of things would you do?”

Alaina smiled when Grogu grunted and waved his already empty bowl at her. She then refilled the kid’s empty bowl with a second, smaller serving before passing it back to him.

“They were nothing elaborate,” she explained, taking a few bites before continuing. A warm smile made its way across her face at the fond memories of years past floating to the surface of her mind. “Just friends from my dance company and some of their significant others. We would eat, drink wine, and gossip about work or the new dancers. We’d usually get tipsy by the end and dance it off at the club afterward. One of my favorite parties was during a storm like this, and we all went out and danced in the rain instead of going out,” she told him, smiling brightly at the memory. “I started hosting the get-to-gathers after my mom died,” she explained, her smile faltering slightly at the mention of her mother. “My mom and…” she started again, and then her smile faded away completely. “Um, my mom and Penn were my only family. So, after she was gone, it was nice to gather up all of my friends once every couple of weeks or so and catch up. I guess it seems silly now, but it was nice,” she finished with a shrug.

Mando appeared to tense at the mention of Penn. “He was really your friend?” he asked, sounding as if he had difficulty believing she had ever been friends with the doctor.

Alaina nodded, keeping her focus straight ahead, feeling embarrassed by her answer.

“I’m sorry,” Mando murmured.

Alaina shrugged again. “It is what it is. Part of me hates that every good memory I have of my past is tainted with him… but… He was my best friend,” she finished with a sigh. “He hated that I made him come to my dinner parties. He always felt out of place but would still come just to see me. He knew that if he didn’t show up, I would do something embarrassing to him at work, so he suffered through my other friends. But that’s also just who he was.” She grew somber at the memories of her former friend and seemed to force a couple of bites of food down before she set her bowl aside, suddenly unable to stomach eating.

“He knew how much I hated being alone,” she continued, tucked her knees under her shirt, and wrapped her arms around her legs. “The last week my mom was in the hospital, we knew she was nearing the end, and he took a leave of absence from work just to be at the hospital with me. He was there when she passed. He took care of me. Penn let me live with him. He made sure I ate that I got out of his apartment; he made sure I didn’t quit dancing…” she scoffed and shook her head, and her face shifted from sorrow to rage. “He was my best friend. He knows everything about me. He came to my dinner parties, he came to my recitals, he was there for me when my mom died… He knows my biggest achievements, my hopes, my fears… And he used them against me. He knows I hate being alone, and that’s exactly what he did to me.”

Mando didn’t have an answer for her. She wasn’t expecting one. There was no changing the past. Penn was an integral part of it, and now he wasn’t. Now she had a Mandalorian and a strange green alien toddler… well, at least for now, she did. What Mando had planned for them once they left, she didn’t know and didn’t want to think about, especially after this afternoon. Even the thought of separating from either of them made that tiny invisible string she had felt in her chest pull taught, reminding her that Mando had healed it with his actions over the last few weeks.

“Oh dear,” Alaina tutted, looking away from Mando to try to hide her tears from him. “Looks like someone had too much fun today,” she commented and shuffled around to pick up Grogu, who had fallen asleep next to his bowl, using his stuffed frog as a pillow.

She gently rocked the sleeping toddler and carried him back to his hammock. She took her time tucking him and his frog under the blanket, not ready to face Mando one-on-one just yet. Alaina could feel his helmet fixed on her, burning holes through her. It took another minute to gather herself before she could turn back to Mando and give him a faux smile. He shifted his helmet slightly, apparently seeing right through her mask. Oh well, at least she managed to stop herself from crying.

“I’m sorry,” was all he said, and Alaina found herself thankful that he didn’t try to argue or make her feel better.

She shrugged, “Sometimes I wonder what I would do if I ever saw him again,” Alaina commented when she returned to the crate she had been sitting in front of. Instead of sitting down this time, she leaned to rest her shoulders against the crate and crossed her arms over her chest. “A part of me wants to hope there is someone good still inside of there—”

“That kind of thinking will get you killed,” Mando cut her off. Her chest instantly clenched at his frank words, and tears filled her eyes again. Mando sighed and shook his head, but she wasn’t sure which one of them he was more frustrated with. “Alaina, the man put a bounty on you,” he argued. “Penn Pershing is not the man you knew. He fabricated a story about the two of you being married—”

“Oh, he didn’t fabricate that,” Alaina interrupted, snarling a bit at the end when she said the words.

If she had thought Mando was tense after admitting that she had hoped Penn still had some good left in him, that was nothing compared to the silence that stretched through the hold at her admission. You would have thought that despite the hold doors being open, all of the oxygen had been sucked out of the hold, almost as if her words had set a bomb off.

“But—” Mando began before he silenced himself. Alaina watched him with a curious eye as he shifted uncomfortably while he tried to choose his words. “But… but you said that the two of you weren’t married?” he reminded her, and her face softened at the hurt she heard in his words. “You said you were just friends?”

Alaina blew out a huff of air and rolled her eyes. “So, five years ago, I didn’t think that I was married when I told you that,” she shrugged.

“You… you didn’t think you were married?” he asked with a skeptical tilt of his helmet.

She nodded, “Apparently, the Empire can marry you to someone without you realizing it. So, they filed all the paperwork to make it legit when Penn put the bounty on me to make the story believable.”

The dark words came out from under his helmet so quickly that Alaina had to wonder if he even realized he had said them, “I’ll kill him.”

Alaina snorted, “Why? Because he tortured me for five years, or because he’s technically my husband? Which means,” she paused to look at the alcove where Grogu was sleeping before looking back at him with a smirk, hoping to lighten the mood. “Which means you had s-e-x with a married woman,” she whispered. He chuckled at her mocking accusation and shook his head at her, making her smile again. “Homewrecker,” she teased, giving him a playful wink.

A bark of laughter escaped him, and he leaned back against the wall, looking a little more relaxed and content now that they were both laughing again.

Alaina smirked and turned to the crate he had pushed back inside to its rightful place when they returned to the Crest and started digging inside. Of course, what she was looking for had to be buried at the bottom of the container. After a few seconds of struggling, she gave in and hopped up to fold herself over the lip of the crate so she could reach the bottle she was aiming for. She had to stretch to grab it and tried not to let herself be too embarrassed when she felt her sleep shirt, Mando’s old tunic, slide up to probably expose some of her underwear and bottom to the Mandalorian seated on the floor on the opposite side of the hold. “Ah ha!” Alaina muttered triumphantly from the crate before she popped back up, fixing her shirt.

Mando jolted at the sound of her words, and she blushed when his helmet snapped upright. She could almost swear she saw a slight red rash creep down Mando’s neck as if he was embarrassed to be caught ogling her. Had he really been looking at her? Like that? Her breath caught in her chest, and she felt that same teenager crush feeling sneak back up. She held the glass bottle by its neck to show him what she had grabbed out of the crate, and the blue liquid sloshed around slightly.

“Spotchka?” he asked, sounding surprised.

Alaina eyed him from the other side of the hold, and her chest tugged again when she saw his strong, muscular arms, which she had dreamed about since Sorgan. Maybe she should embrace feeling like a teenager again…

She nodded, “No good dinner party is complete without good food, alcohol, and even better company,” she smiled. “Besides,” Alaina began, walking to stand in front of him with the bottle of spotchka. “When you’ve had a couple of drinks, you say adorable stuff, like calling me sweet thing,” she teased him, giving him a taste of a flirty smile that had just a sliver of her pink tongue poking out.

He shook his head at her words, and her smile solidified when she saw Mando’s neck flush red in embarrassment. “Mandalorians aren’t adorable,” he grumbled. No doubt, if Alaina corrected him to inform him that he was adorable, handsome, kind, and every other feeling that filled her head when she looked at him, she would very likely spook him and end this endearing moment.

“I’m going to go watch the rest of the storm,” she told him, nodding to the open ramp. “Come sit with me?” she asked hopefully.

Mando nodded, making her beam back at him. She headed toward the open bay ramp and could hear him shuffling around close behind her. She sat off to the side so her legs could dangle over the edge, but he opted to sit behind just inside the ramp to avoid getting wet.

“Cheers,” she toasted, popping the lid off the spotchka. She lifted the bottle to solute Mando before taking a drink of the sweet alcohol. When she was done, she passed him the bottle, trying to appear relaxed when his bare fingers brushed her own, sending a shiver down her spine.

Mando turned his head to drink from the bottle, and Alaina directed her eyes outside to watch the rain. The rain hadn’t let up since it started, and she felt a small irk of irritation when she realized that she’d done all that work scrubbing the hold, only for them to likely track mud all over it tomorrow.

Her mind, always planning five steps ahead, wouldn’t let her sit back and enjoy the storm. It poked and prodded to know what Mando had in store for her. He had told her on Tatooine that he wanted to be done with her… and at the time, Alaina had thought it was best that they part ways… but now? After how Mando had cared for her since the assault—how the three of them had settled in together, almost making it feel like they were a word that started with an F that she never thought she would have again?

“What comes next?” Alaina asked, keeping her head facing out the hold.

“I don’t know, I’ve never watched a storm just for fun,” he answered her with a shrug.

Alaina turned to give him a quick smirk before the smile fell from her face. “No, I mean after we leave here,” she whispered. “I know we can’t stay here forever,” she added sadly.

“We can stay here for a little longer,” came his soft response as Mando passed the bottle back to her.

Alaina took the bottle and studied the electric blue liquid inside as she tried to come up with her next words. “We’ve already been here a couple of weeks. I’m sure you’re bored and ready to get back to work—”

“We can stay here a little longer,” he repeated, taking his bare hand to tuck some of her hair behind her shoulder, and Alaina blushed when she realized he had done it so he could fully see her face. “We have enough supplies to last us a little longer. Once we do leave, I’ll need to find work for credits, which means I’ll have to find jobs outside of the guild, but we don’t need to worry about that tonight.”

Unfortunately, they’d already opened the discussion, and Alaina couldn’t let it go. She needed to know what he was thinking. She needed to tell him that she wanted to stay. “And when you do look for work?” she asked, obviously nervous about whatever she was about to ask next. “Do you have a plan? For us?” she added at the end, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth.

She held her breath while she waited for his answer. Her stomach was suddenly in knots as she waited for him to respond, and she was torn between wanting to hurl whatever she had eaten or downing the rest of the spotchka on her own.

“The truth is…” he began but tapered off, and Alaina wondered if he was just as nervous as she was. And if he was, what was he nervous for? “The truth is I don’t have one,” he admitted quietly.

Alaina felt her shoulders deflate at his admission, and she directed her eyes to the ground. “Oh,” she whispered, wishing she could hide her disappointment from her tone.

Mando didn’t even have a plan? She found that unlikely to believe. What was more accurate was he probably had one but didn’t want to spoil their good day by telling her that they would eventually leave and would be dumping her on some planet for her to live out the rest of her life—without him.

Mando’s sigh cut through the tense silence, “Alaina, it’s not—”

“No, it’s okay. I get it,” she tried to wave him off, still refusing to look at him.

“You do?” he questioned, cocking his helmet skeptically at her.

She nodded and finally turned to fix her sad eyes on his helmet. “Yeah,” she sighed, “I do. You’ve told me repeatedly that you don’t think we should come with you—”

“Alaina—”

“No, Mando, it’s okay. Really,” she told him with a forced smile. “I just got my hopes up—especially after this afternoon,” she admitted, trying to blink away the tears threatening to form in her eyes. “I know things between us haven’t been… and… I don’t know,” she shrugged and looked away from him to watch the storm. “A part of me was hoping that this whole trip wasn’t just you saying goodbye,” she finished, her words coming out as a harsh whisper.

She gulped down her disappointment as she watched the rain fall outside the ship and tried to let the distant rumble of thunder provide a comfort she wished she could seek from someone else.

Mando’s broad hand came to rest over her bare thigh, sending a shock of surprise through her when she felt his skin on hers.

“I don’t have a plan because I don’t know what to do next,” he said, gently squeezing her thigh. “I’ve never traveled with others before. Alaina, my life is dangerous, and now that I’ll have to find work outside of the guild, that means finding work with less than reputable people. You and the kid don’t deserve that kind of life.”

Whatever flicker of hope Alaina was hanging onto was snuffed out by his words. “It’s okay,” she said, giving him a teary smile. She set the bottle of spotchka down, rested her hand over Mando’s on her thigh, and laced their fingers together. “We can just enjoy the time we have left—”

“You’re not listening to me,” he interrupted her, squeezing her smaller fingers tightly in his. “I don’t have a plan because every time I think about you and the kid coming with me, I see one or both of you getting hurt and… and you’ve both already been through so much, and you deserve to be happy.”

“People get hurt sometimes, Mando,” Alaina told him with a shrug, trying to soothe him by rubbing her thumb up and down his. “You can’t plan for every little detail. Life has a way of pulling the rug out from under you. Trust me,” she tried to joke, bumping her shoulder into his. “Trust me,” she repeated, turning to give him her full attention. “Trust me and Grogu to be there for you,” she whispered, unlocking her fingers from his to rest her hand on his chest over his heart. “Because a part of me thinks that you are scared to admit that by asking us to come with you, that would acknowledge that you have attachments to us, and I’m guessing that wasn’t necessarily condoned when you were in Mandalorian school?”

Alaina stared into his helmet, watching her green eyes reflect back at her while she waited for his answer. She could feel the muscles in his chest tense under her hand and swore she felt his heart pound against it. Suddenly, she felt guilty for never asking him what he wanted.

“Mando,” she whispered, “what do you want?”

“I—” he began but immediately fell silent and gripped her thigh tightly.

“Mando, do you want us to come with you?” she asked, rubbing circles over his chest with her hand. “Because if you don’t, then I will understand. Eventually,” she shrugged, trying to give him a teasing smile. “But if you really don’t want us to come with you, then we’ll—”

Mando’s hand left her thigh and gripped her wrist, stilling her hand over his chest. Alaina’s eyes went wide as she held her breath while she waited for his answer.

“I do,” he rasped, pushing her hand into his chest and covering it with his own.

Alaina’s smile returned in full force, and she nodded eagerly back at him. “Then we will just figure the rest out later,” she whispered, not trusting herself to speak more without bursting into tears of happiness to know that Mando wanted them—wanted her to be with him.

They stared at each other at the ramp threshold while the storm raged on outside, but Alaina couldn’t think of anywhere else she wanted to be. Cautiously, she leaned into his chest, and Mando intertwined their fingers again in one hand and used the other to wrap around her waist to pull her tightly against his chest while they went back to watching the storm.

Lightning flashed, and Alaina’s smile grew as she settled into Mando’s protective embrace. Mando tilted his helmet away at the bright flash, and once again, she found herself curious as to how the Mandalorian got to view the rest of the world.

“It’s kinda like that,” Alaina commented.

She could feel his gaze fall back to her, no doubt confused by her words. Alaina smiled and squeezed his hand. He had admitted something to her. The least she could do was answer his earlier question.

“My visions,” she explained nervously. “When I get them, it’s like a bright flash, and I have to work it all out later,” Alaina waved her hand in front of her face, then snatched the bottle from behind them and took a deep drink before continuing. “Sometimes it’s a short burst of information that is easy to process, and sometimes… sometimes it’s a lot of information at once, and I start spouting nonsense. I think it’s because my brain wasn’t wired for it. The visions,” she clarified. “It’s like they unlocked the ability but didn’t program my brain to translate it, so I don’t understand them,” she finished, taking a couple of deep sips from the bottle.

The arm wrapped around her waist tightened. “What if it’s not nonsense?” he challenged. His voice was so quiet that she could feel his chest rumble over his words as he spoke, reminding her of the thunder rumbling around them.

His question alarmed her. They’d never discussed her premonitions or whatever you wanted to call them before, so she was surprised to hear him ask about them earlier. “I rarely understand them when they do have them, so why does it matter?” she asked him with a deep frown, turning her emerald eyes back to his helmet.

“Because I don’t think they’re nonsense,” he answered quickly. Alaina rolled her eyes, but he shook his helmet at her. “I’m serious,” he continued, letting go of her hand and unwinding his arm around her to turn her so he could give her his full attention. “On Nevarro, you had a short vision and told me I was ‘drowning in seas of green,’ and we went swimming in a green lake,” he stopped to point in the direction of the lake where they went swimming this afternoon.

“Mando,” Alaina sighed and shook her head. “We went for a swim. You didn’t drown,” she pointed out.

“But what if you just saw me underwater and assumed I was drowning?” he argued.

“I’ve been down this path before, Mando. They have been trying to pick my nonsense apart for years and haven’t been successful.” Penn had almost driven himself insane trying to pick her prophetic ramblings apart, hoping to prove that his most recent experiment was successful. The last thing Alaina wanted was for Mando to go down that same road.

“Okay, but on Sorgan, in both of your visions, you saw someone coming, and someone did,” he continued, unwilling to let Alaina drop it just yet.

“Mando—”

“What’s Vermillion?” he asked quickly, catching her off guard by his question.

How did he know about Vermillion?

Alaina schooled her features, but the subtle tick of his helmet indicated he saw the brief flash of recognition cross her face. She must have mentioned something about it during one of her fits, and Mando thought he was putting the pieces of something together that would never come to form anything.

“A color,” she answered, keeping her voice monotone and her face blank.

“Alaina—”

“Go back to calling them fits,” she suggested with a pointed look. “That’s all they are. You’ll drive yourself mad trying to see things that aren’t there.”

His helmet stared her down, but she held firm in her answer. Besides, Vermillion was obsolete now. It was obsolete, and Alaina was here with Mando because he wanted her to be with him.

“Please drop it?” she begged, using her doe eyes to her advantage as she blinked pleadingly at him. “I promise it’s nothing, and I promise you that if you start taking my visions apart, you will eventually make yourself see things that aren’t really there, and it will cause you to go mad.”

A frustrated, static sigh escaped from Mando’s helmet, and he turned his head away from her in defeat. Alaina reached for his bicep and ran her fingers up and down the tanned skin there. Eventually, she felt the firm muscles under her hand unwind, and she leaned forward to kiss Mando quickly on the side of his helmet where his cheek would be.

Lightning flashed again, followed by the deep rumbling thunder. Alaina saw Mando tense again at the bright light, and she brought her right hand up to trace the left side of his helmet. “How much can you really see out of that thing?” she asked him as she studied his helmet.

Mando didn’t answer immediately, keeping his helmet fixed on her face. She waited for him to speak, hoping he would listen to her and take her words of warning seriously. After another minute of strained silence, Mando sighed and grabbed the bottle of spotchka from the other side of her. She smirked as he turned away to lift his helmet and take a long drink from the bottle without her seeing his face.

He brought the bottle down, allowing his helmet to fall back over his face, but he didn’t pass the bottle back. “There is a display inside. I can see just fine,” he said, finally answering her, and shifted to take another swig of the sweet alcohol.

Alaina relaxed when he dropped the subject and rewarded him with a warm smile. “But it’s just a regular display inside, right? Can you see colors like you can without it?” she asked with a curious tilt of her head.

He cocked his head at her question and set the bottle down next to him. Alaina got the impression he was studying her from behind his visor, trying to figure out what she was getting at. “I can see all the colors,” he answered with a shrug. “The lake is green, the tall grass is purple, the clearing is gray, and the trees are black,” he stated flatly. Alaina’s brows knitted together at his bland descriptions of the moon he’d taken them to. Apparently, he could tell that she was less than impressed by his answer, so he continued with a sigh, “Your hair is yellow, your eyes are green—”

“I didn’t ask if you knew your colors,” she interrupted him. “It’s just… this place is so full of beautiful color, even when it storms. I guess I was just curious how you saw it. I know that sometimes displays can distort the actual colors. I just didn’t want you missing out on anything.”

“I can see just fine,” he reassured her.

Alaina shrugged and turned away from him to watch the rain pour outside.

Another bolt of lightning flashed across the sky, illuminating the area and giving Alaina an idea.

She shot up and gave him a mischievous smirk. “When’s the last time you danced in the rain?” she asked, wagging her eyebrows at him.

“This morning,” he deadpanned.

Alaina’s smile spanned her face, and she offered him her hand. “Come on,” she whispered, motioning for him to get up.

“Alaina,” Mando sighed, “I’m not getting wet again.”

Alaina didn’t move and kept wiggling her fingers for him to take. “Come on, Mando,” she pleaded, jumping up and down on the balls of her feet. “Everyone should dance in the rain once in their life.”

Surprisingly, he slid his hand into hers, and with an exasperated sigh, Mando allowed her to tug him up. “How about I watch you dance in the rain?” he suggested, but she shook her head, smiling at him with her bright eyes. “Alaina—” he groaned, but Alaina wasn’t having it.

“Please?” she pleaded, batting her eyelashes at him. “I won’t make you dance, but you still have to come with me,” she countered, giving him a little pout.

“Where are we going? The kid—”

“Is asleep, and we’re just going to the edge of the lavender field,” she told him, nodding toward the grass. “I’ll remind you that you threw me into a lake today,” she snarked, crossing her arms over her chest.

Mando looked at the rain pouring outside the ship and then down at Alaina, who was sure to give him her largest, eager eyes, making her shoulders sag in defeat. “Do you want to change or put your boots on?” he asked, pointing to her nearby boots.

“No,” she whispered, breaking into a manic grin as she latched onto Mando's hand and started tugging him down the ramp into the rain.

“Then can I put my boots on?” he whined, sounding off-put that she was dragging him out into the rain without them.

“No!” she yelled back, gripping his hand tighter as they stepped off the ramp and into the grass.

The moment Mando’s bare feet stepped into the grass, he let out a displeased grumble as he sank into the mud. Alaina scrunched her toes in the wet grass and mud, feeling like she was given the chance to reset her soul and body. Alaina looked up at the sky and smiled as the rain pelted her face. She’d spent so much time locked away that she forgot what the rain felt like.

“Come on!” she whispered excitedly, pulling him toward the tall lavender grass.

Mando continued to grumble quietly under his helmet, and Alaina couldn’t help but laugh at the tall, intimidating bounty hunter complaining about a bit of rain and mud. She refused to let him turn around and kept walking until they reached the lavender field. Once the tall grass surrounded them, Alaina finally came to a stop.

“Okay, we played in the rain. Can we go back inside now?” he asked, wiping his feet through the grass in an attempt to remove the mud from the bottom of his feet.

“Maker, just a second,” Alaina rolled her eyes. “You’d think a tough Mandalorian could handle a little rain,” she teased, poking him in the ribs. Mando flinched and batted her hand away from him after the jab, and Alaina filed that piece of information for use later on.

Mando sighed but relented and let her shuffle his body into position. She grabbed him by his arms and spun him so he could face the direction of the lake. His helmet looked at her with an annoyed tilt as he watched her move him around like a doll.

“Okay,” Alaina muttered, looking back at the lake with a satisfied nod. When she looked up at him, she placed her hand over the center of his chest before saying, “You brought us here, and I just want to make sure you get a chance to take a moment and appreciate the true beauty of this place before we leave.”

“I was fine enjoying it from inside the Crest. Where it was dry,” he argued.

Alaina just smiled and rubbed his chest with her thumb. And then she was gone. Quickly, before he could turn back around, she walked behind him to line her back up with his and rested the back of her head between his shoulder blades. Once in place, she wound her arms backwards, linking hers with his, and gripped his biceps. “Take your helmet off,” she instructed, reassuringly squeezing his arms.

Mando froze at her order, and she could only imagine the shock and questions racing through him.

“I won’t look,” she whispered, sneaking her hands under his sleeves to rub them up and down his arms in an attempt to comfort him. I promise I won’t look,” she said a little louder. “I’m going to stay right here so you can feel me and know where I am. I just want you to be able to really experience it.”

Mando remained stiff and unmoving behind her. She gave him another minute to process what she had asked and think it through. She knew that no one had seen him since he was a boy, and he had explained that he wasn’t supposed to remove his helmet with others around… but she wouldn’t see him, and Alaina wanted Mando to see with his own eyes, what she wouldn’t be able to describe to him.

“You have my word. I won’t look, Mando,” Alaina said again, squeezing his biceps.

He hesitated for another moment, and then slowly, Alaina felt his arms move as he lifted his hands to his helm and lifted the last piece of beskar he was wearing over his head.

The rain pelted against them, and the wind blew Alaina’s hair around wildly. Alaina held her breath while he looked around the moon. She had so many questions: Was this the first time he’d allowed himself to be exposed to the elements without a scrap of armor since he became a Mandalorian? What did he think about feeling the rain and the wind without his normal layers? Was he looking? Was he really looking at the beautiful slice of heaven he had brought them to?”

“Okay,” he called over his shoulder. “I took it off. I saw—”

Alaina rolled her eyes. “Wait,” she said, squeezing his arms again.

Silence stretched between them again, and Alaina hoped they didn’t miss out on the storm.

She could feel Mando’s chest inflate behind her, “Alaina—”

“Just wait,” Alaina called back, knocking the back of her head into his back.

“Alaina, it’s wet and cold,” Mando complained. “I’m putting my helmet back on. Besides, it’s too dark to see—”

Lightning cracked across the sky. Alaina smiled and relaxed into his back at hearing the Mandalorian stunned into silence.

Lightning spidered across the sky above them. She hoped that without his helmet, he could see each vein of electricity stretch over them and even make out how the white veins were outlined in purple and blue as they cracked overhead. The backdrop of the moon’s normal sky of silver, purple, and blue swirls of the galaxy peeked through breaks in the clouds, only adding to the experience.

Her smile grew when she felt him jump when the thunder roared shortly after the lightning. The sound was so deep that she could feel it vibrate in her chest. Another crack of lightning spired above them, and she could feel the breath Mando had been holding slowly leaking from his chest. She hoped that he could see the green waters of the lake and the purple grass in the same vibrant colors she could.

Mando’s right hand reached back to grip her hip, and when he gave her a thankful squeeze, Alaina knew she had been right to force him to observe the beauty around them before it was too late. To think that he had almost missed this moment because he was too stubborn… she tisked at the thought.

“What do you think?” she asked, squeezing his biceps tightly.

His deep baritone voice dropped an octave when he answered her, sending a shiver down her spine. “You were right,” he murmured, squeezing her hip again.

She’s tempted to ask him to describe how he saw everything, but that could always wait until they were back inside where it was dry.

“Thank you for humoring me,” Alaina said over the rumble of thunder. “I won’t subject you to any more humiliation,” she finished and patted his arms before moving to let him go. His hand that was on her hip gripped her tightly, and she covered it with her own. “Don’t worry, I won’t look. My head is still forward. Just tap me on the shoulder when I can turn around.” With one last squeeze to his hand, Alaina let him go.

Everything was quiet behind her. With the exception of the background noise the rain and wind supplied, Alaina could not hear Mando make a sound. It was almost like he was frozen in place. Maybe he was reluctant to let this moment end.

Lightning cracked again, illuminating the two of them standing in the field surrounded by darkness, light, and color.

Alaina would be lying to herself if she said she wasn’t reluctant to let this special moment end.

But Mando had already gone on with her wild idea longer than she thought he would. “Mando?” Alaina called back, keeping her head forward, not wanting to break her word. Instead of a response, Alaina heard a dull thud, followed by the sound of something ripping, and her face scrunched in confusion. “Mando? What’s going on back there?” she called back, concerned, but stayed still.

Suddenly, her vision was obscured by something, and she patted her face, becoming even more confused when she felt some kind of fabric covering her eyes and could feel Mando tying it behind her head. “Okay, Mando, what are you—”

Mando stopped her from finishing her question by gripping her shoulders and spinning her around to face him.

Alaina gasped and instinctively closed her eyes, even though she realized too late that was why Mando had essentially blindfolded her.

She could almost feel his eyes tracking over her, taking her in from the top of her head to her mud-covered feet. Alaina could feel her wet hair stuck to the sides of her face and rivulets of water streaking down her cheek. Her feet nervously shifted the longer Mando’s inspection went on. If she had known that this would be the first time Mando really got to see her, she would have changed into the purple dress that seemed to draw his attention more than anything else she wore. She especially wouldn’t have drug him out in what was essentially her pajamas into the middle of a storm, so she no doubt looked like a wet rat now.

“Mando?” she whispered, self-conscious by his lack of response.

Alaina jumped when she felt him cup her cheeks between his large hands. His thumbs began stroking her cheekbones as he held her in place.

Her heart was pounding under her ribs, and Alaina found it increasingly difficult to breathe. What did he see when he looked at her? Would she ever be able to see him? Would she ever be able to see his eyes with her own?

Mando’s hands pulled her just a fraction closer to him, and her eyes clenched even tighter when she felt his lips brush the top of the temple where her scar was—a permanent reminder of their first meeting five years ago.

What she expected to be a single kiss, a simple way for him to thank her when he couldn’t find the right words, continued with Mando leaving a trail of tiny kisses over her scar as his lips ended on her eyebrow.

This couldn’t be happening.

Alaina’s breathing came out in short, staccato spurts as she felt his lips continue to explore her face. She documented every detail, not wanting to forget a moment. The rain allowed his mouth to glide over the features of her face as he kissed her cheekbone before dragging his lips to her jaw. When his lips landed on her jaw, he opened his mouth and gently bit the edge of her jawline.

Maker, this couldn’t be happening.

Mando didn’t stop there. His lips followed her jawline until he reached her chin and gave her another gentle bite, eliciting a gasp of surprise from Alaina. She felt as if Mando had managed to light her body on fire in the middle of the pouring rain. The night chill and the wind were just gone as the fire consumed her, and she wondered if Mando could feel how warm he was making her. Surely, her body must be steaming from being ignited by Mando’s lips.

Once her mouth was open, Mando latched onto her bottom lip and sucked it between his teeth.

Alaina jolted at the sensation and wondered if they had been struck by lightning. They must have been because she had never experienced a kiss like that before.

Mando groaned, and the sound snapped Alaina out of her initial shock. She stood on her tiptoes and looped her arms around his neck to tug him closer to her, responding with her own kiss. His hands fell from her face, and his arms wrapped around her waist to pull her small body closer to his. His lips attacked hers with a passion she couldn’t find the words to compare it to.

It was simply Mando. He was forceful—his kisses were open and sloppy, and Mando wasn’t afraid to use his teeth. The way he kissed her was the way she imagined a drowning man gasping for air. His mustache rubbed into her upper lip, and she knew she would have a red rash once this was over. Alaina tried to slow his desperate kisses, but his arms only cinched around her waist tighter, and he growled into her mouth.

“Mando,” she whispered, trying to come up for air, but his lips found hers again and silenced her in another bruising kiss. She smiled into the kiss and unwound her arms from his neck to hold his face between her hands. She let her fingers drag through the scruff on his jaw and cheeks, noting it felt longer since her fingers had last caressed his face on Sorgan. “Mando—sl-slow down,” she murmured into his lips between his fervent kisses.

Mando pulled himself from her, but he was still close enough that she could feel the hot air from his pants puff against her face. “What’s wrong?” he asked, resting his forehead against hers. Without his helmet in the way, his nose knocked against hers, and Alaina smiled as she leaned into his head. “Do—Is it not good? For you?”

Alaina kicked herself when she realized this was very likely the man’s first kiss. How odd and backwards it must be to know precisely what it took in order to make her body sing all without ever kissing someone before?

She leaned forward and kissed the bridge of his nose. “Oh, it’s good,” she told him, smiling against his cheek. “Just slow down. Enjoy the moment,” she whispered, kissing his lips softly. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Mando met her lips at her words, and she could tell he was trying to show restraint. Alaina smiled into the kiss when she felt Mando smiling under her lips. This was something that Alaina was good at. The way someone kissed spoke volumes. This kiss was no exception. This kiss wiped away the memory of anyone she had kissed before. This kiss told her that the others she’d kissed before Mando were boys. There was no comparison to the man who was kissing her now.

He let her take the lead this time. Alaina took her time exploring his lips, and she could tell that Mando was a tightly coiled spring, ready to leap into action but forced to stay put. She nudged his nose with her, unable to stop smiling into his lips as she ran her tongue across his lips. A grunt of surprise left his lips, and when he opened his mouth, she made him jump when her tongue found his.

A deep moan reverberated in his chest as Mando slowly returned to the present. His hands came and entwined in her hair, angling her head in just the right position to demonstrate to her what a quick learner he was. Alaina melted under him as he responded to her slow-paced kiss with a languid one of his own. Mando took his time with her, learning her lips and how they moved with him before he mimicked her earlier actions and brushed his tongue across them, requesting permission to enter her mouth.

Alaina wished she had better words to describe what happened after that, but the only word she could come up with at the moment was devour. It felt as if Mando was devouring her as his tongue tangled with hers. She lost complete control of the kiss after that. Mando’s tongue scraped across the roof of her mouth as his lips continued to torment hers slowly.

A sound left her body that she’d never heard before—somewhere between a mewl and a moan, but whatever sound she made seemed to snap Mando out of whatever spell she had cast over him. His hands left her hair and started gripping and tugging at her waist before she felt his broad hands palm her ass before he lifted her off the ground. Alaina gasped in surprise, but Mando’s lips smothered her gasp down as her legs subconsciously wrapped around his waist.

Her hands gripped his shoulders, and she was surprised to find them bare. Alaina tried to pull away from the kiss, but Mando’s lips chased hers down, so she was left with using her hands to continue her explorations. Bare skin and taught muscles greeted her.

“Did you—” she tried to start, but Mando silenced her again. She laughed into the kiss and pushed Mando’s chest until he finally ripped his lips from hers. “Did you rip your shirt up just so you could blindfold me?”

“Yes,” he panted.

Alaina laughed and grabbed his head, pulling him back into a forceful kiss. She could feel Mando’s grin match her own as they fought for control of the kiss. She felt one of his arms wrap tightly around her waist to keep her close while the other seemed to vanish. Mando dipped back down, and Alaina frowned into the kiss when she felt his other arm leave and pat around. She was about to ask what he was doing when she felt the awol arm rejoin his other around her waist. She felt cold steel against her and realized he had bent over to pick up his helmet.

That was the solidifying moment for Alaina.

Mando removed his helmet.

To kiss her.

He removed his helmet.

For her.

She was so wrapped up in her thoughts that she was only vaguely aware that Mando was walking them back toward the Razor Crest. All she knew was that he wasn’t close enough. She held her hands over his cheeks, keeping him as close to her as possible.

Now that she had him, she was never letting go of him again.

Her fingers ran through the back of Mando’s head, scratching and tugging at his scalp, forcing a moan of pleasure from Mando’s mouth.

Alaina gasped when her back was suddenly shoved against something cold and solid. At her gasp, Mando’s lips left hers. She used her grip on his hair to pin his lips to her neck when Mando nipped at the sensitive skin just below her ear.

“Mando,” she panted, moaning when his lips latched onto her lobe, and Mando tugged the sensitive skin gently between his teeth.

Mandos warm breath puffed against the side of her face, and when she could hear his breathy pants in her ear, her insides lit on fire, awakening a familiar tingling sensation between her legs.

“Mando,” Alaina moaned when Mando’s lips traveled down her neck and bit into the flesh where her neck met her shoulder. Her hands clutched his head to her neck while his mouth and teeth continued to attack every millimeter of skin he could find. She gasped and subconsciously ground her center into Mando’s abdomen, looking for any friction she could when his teeth clamped down onto her neck again.

“Fuck. Alaina,” Mando managed to moan her name between kisses as his lips trailed back up her neck to her lips again. His fingers dug into her hips, pressing her tighter against him while his hips bucked instinctively below her, seeking friction of his own. “Fuck. I need you, Alaina,” he managed to get out between kisses.

Alaina mewled like a kitten from his words. Her body squirmed between him and what she assumed was the hull of the Razor Crest while her fingers latched onto the back of his head, forcing their lips together almost painfully.

His declaration slowly lifted the foggy veil of pleasure just enough that Alaina was able to pull her lips away from Mando’s. “What does this mean?” she whispered, silently wishing that she could take her blindfold off so she could study Mando’s expressions.

Mando growled, ignoring her question so he could return to attacking her lips with his.

She smiled into the kiss but used her fingers to grip his hair to tug his head away just enough so she could talk. “Mando—”

Mando growled, cutting her off with another kiss. “Would you just let me kiss you?” he asked. His lips moved against hers, and Alaina’s mouth instinctively opened when she felt his tongue swipe across her bottom lip.

Maker, he was really karking good at this. Alaina’s head was swimming in pleasure as their tongues tangled together. But she needed to know—she needed him to confirm that this was actually happening. She needed him to tell her this wasn’t goodbye, and he had meant it earlier when he admitted he wanted her to come with him.

“I will,” she whispered, pulling her mouth from his, ghosting her lips across his stubbled jawline until she found his neck. “I will,” she repeated, smiling when she felt a shiver run through Mando when her lips found his pulse. “I will, and you’re doing a great job, but I need to know what this means.”

“It means we’re kissing in the rain—” Alaina sunk her teeth into Mando’s pulse, effectively cutting him off. “Fuck!” Mando shouted. His hands pulled her hips further down his torso until her heat drug over Mando’s stiff, rigid length, straining for her under his trousers. Her eyes rolled into the back of her head in pleasure when his hips pinned hers against the hull, pulling equal moans of pleasure from their mouths.

“Mando, I’m serious,” she panted and weakly shoved at his chest to push him away so she could talk. “I will let you pick right back up where we left off, but I need to know what this means. For us. Because Grogu and I want to stay with you, but if you just made a pit stop here until you figured out some place to dump us, then… then I need you to tell me now before we go down this road again.”

Mando was terrifyingly silent as she waited for his answer. Alaina could only hear the rain pinging off the hull of the Crest for several long, agonizing minutes before she finally heard him murmur, “I want you to stay. I want you both to stay.”

“Do you mean that?” she demanded hopefully. “Really? Because if you do, I’m staying as your partner,” Alaina informed him, gripping either side of his head between her hands. She may be blindfolded, but she wanted to make sure that Mando was paying attention. “I want to be your partner. I want to be your friend… I want to be your lover,” she rasped, pulling his head down to capture his lips in another searing kiss. “I don’t want to be locked away in the closet whenever you leave the ship. If you want me to stay, we’re in this together.”

Mando pulled his lips from hers and pressed his forehead against hers. “Alaina, you and the kid…” he tried to begin and then cut himself off. “I’ve never had a partner before,” he admitted quietly.

Alaina smiled and pushed her forehead into his. “Me either,” she whispered, quickly kissing his lips.

“I’m going to mess this up,” he said, gripping her hips tightly between his hands.

Alaina softened at his worries and tried to soothe them away with a kiss. “I think we’ve both already messed up,” she said, smiling against his lips.

“Alaina—”

“Mando,” she said, placing her hand on his chest, and she felt his heart lurch under her hand. “Mando, I don’t know what I’m doing either. I’ve never had a serious relationship of any kind before.”

“Even when you were a basic girlie girl?” he teased.

Alaina’s smile broadened over his lips, and she nodded. “Even when I was a basic girlie girl,” she confirmed with a kiss. “Mando, you… I’m still trying to figure things out and figure out where I belong… but I know that I want you and Grogu by my side while I try and figure it out.”

Mando’s hands left her hips, and Alaina cinched hers tighter around his waist. His hands traveled up her body until they reached her head, and he gently cupped her jaw in his massive paws. “You mean it?” he murmured so quietly that Alaina almost couldn’t hear him. “You mean you want to be my partner?” he questioned, sounding more confident this time.

Alaina nodded her head in his hands.

“And what is your definition of a partner?”

She smiled at his nervous question. “A partner is whatever we want it to be,” she answered, turning her head to kiss Mando’s palm.

Mando’s thumb rubbed against the side of her face, and Alaina turned her head back to ‘look’ at him, once again wishing she could see his eyes with her own.

The words are on the tip of her tongue: I forgive you. She’d held onto them for the past couple of weeks, waiting for the perfect time to tell Mando that she had forgiven him for their past and was ready to move forward with him.

“Maker, you’re such a fucking sweet thing,” he growled right before his lips crashed into hers, preventing her from saying the words.

She smiled into the kiss, looping her arms back around his neck. There would be time for that later. Right now, Alaina just wanted to enjoy this moment.

“Alaina,” he moaned her name into her lips while his hips bucked between hers. Alaina ground herself into the hardness lurking under his trousers and gasped when her sensitive nub rubbed against him at just the right angle that it sent a shock through her. “Alaina,” he grunted, slipping his hands under her shirt to clutch her bare skin, and his hips continued to rock into her, firmly pinning against her while he rutted into her center. “Fuck, Alaina, partners,” he moaned in agreement. “I’m going to treat you so good,” he murmured into her lips.

This afternoon was perfect.

But this moment… this moment in time, kissing in the rain…

This was perfection.

“I’m going to treat you so good,” he repeated as his lips worshipped her. “I’m going to keep you safe.” One of his hands slid between her legs, and she gasped when she felt one of his fingers sneak past the hem of her underwear.

Maker, she never wanted this moment to end. Her head fell back against the ship, and her hands gripped his hair, holding his head against her neck while his tongue and teeth ravaged against the sensitive skin there. The finger that slipped into her underwear stroked between her folds, making her realize how wet she already was, and it wasn’t from the rain. When the roughed pad of his finger scraped over her tender nub, Alaina let out the loudest, most erotic moan she’d ever made before, making Mando smile into her neck.

“I’ll keep you safe,” he repeated, returning his lips to hers. “We’ll be partners, and you’ll be safe with me. They’ll never lay their hands on you ever again.”

All Alaina could do was nod at his lust-induced promises, but she believed him. His finger circled her sensitive flesh, forcing a strange combination of a shout and a moan from her. Her hips rocked into his finger, and her hands gripped his bare shoulders. When his finger slipped and slid across her opening, Alaina’s fingers dug into his shoulders as she cried out in pleasure. Her body pulsed, acting as if it remembered what it felt like to have Mando fill her, and it sang out to him, desperate for him to fill her once more.

“Mando,” Alaina panted, trying to catch her breath while her hips followed his finger, trying to encourage him to enter her.

“Laina,” Mando panted, sounding even more out of breath than she was. One of her hands slipped from its painful grip on his shoulder and dipped between their bodies. When her fingers skimmed his trouser’s waistband, the hulking Mandalorian shuddered. He moaned into her lips while his hips eagerly sought her touch. “They’ll never lay their fucking hands on you ever again,” he growled his promise into her lips. Alaina’s hand slipped a little further into his trousers, and her fingers brushed against the course curls lurking there, causing Mando’s growl to intensify. “I’ll keep you safe.”

Alaina smirked against his lips. She remembered from Sorgan that when Mando started rambling and repeating himself, it meant that he was short-circuiting from pleasure, and her fingers itched to find him to make him completely go offline.

“Even if I have to use your visions to do it.”

Alaina froze at his words. Every muscle in her body painfully tensed as she tried to process what he said. “What did you say?” she asked, opening her eyes, but she was still in the dark with them blindfolded.

“I’m going to use your visions to keep you safe,” he murmured against her lips before returning to kissing her, utterly unaware that Alaina was no longer responding. “You saw something happening to you. I’m not going to let anything happen to you. I’m going to keep you safe.”

Mando’s words doused her like a bucket of cold water. She pulled her hand out of his trousers and tried to push him away, but he pushed back, nipping her jaw with his teeth. “That’s why you wanted to know what I see when I have one?” she asked quietly, unable to keep the hurt from her voice.

“Yes,” he answered darkly, kissing her cheek.

Suddenly, Alaina felt cold and uncomfortable in the rain. She raised her hands to his bare chest and pushed him away, maneuvering her head away from his lips. “Let me go,” she ordered, proud that she had kept the waver out of her voice. She wanted nothing more than to curl up in a ball and cry, but she didn’t want to fall apart until she was out of his view.

Mando stilled at her request, “Alaina?”

“Let me go,” Alaina repeated forcefully, shoving at his chest again.

He responded instantly, releasing her from his embrace. Alaina struggled to find the ground without being able to see, but once her bare feet hit the mud, she brought a hand up to the ship's hull to help guide her back to the ramp.

“Alaina?” Mando’s confused voice called out behind her.

She didn’t stop to look back. She was angry—angry with Mando for his words and even angrier with herself for not seeing this happening. Between her anger and the blindfold, her attention wasn’t on where she was walking, and when her foot hit a rock, she stumbled. Strong arms wrapped around her, preventing her from slipping and falling into the mud, but his kindness only kindled her fury.

“Go away!” she growled, batting futilely at the muscular arm wrapped around her waist. “Let me go!”

“No,” he answered lowly, pulling her back against his chest. “Not until you talk to me.”

Alaina spun in his arms to glare at him from under the blindfold. She shoved at his chest, and when Mando didn’t even budge, she found herself wishing for her powers—her real powers—just so she could send him flying into the lake.

“You want me to talk? Fine,” she growled at him through clenched teeth. “I thought you were different!” she spat angrily. “I’ve spent the last five years being used for my powers. Penn and the Empire used me for my powers, and I… I thought you were different,” she finished, trying to keep herself from crying until she was back inside the Crest and could lock herself up in the cockpit to get away from Mando before she would allow herself to cry.

Alaina couldn’t see Mando with her blindfold, but she could hear and feel him. She could hear his lungs pull in a surprised breath and feel his arms let go of her as if she had burned him with her words. “Am I not enough just the way I am?” came her painful question, and Alaina felt her chest constrict.

The only response she could hear was the rain and the distant rumble of thunder. She shouldn’t be surprised by the Mandalorian’s lack of answer, but the silence still cut painfully. She gave Mando another moment to try and defend himself, but the longer the seconds stretched on, the more tears filled her eyes. The silence was all the answer she needed, and with a disappointed shake of her head, Alaina turned away from the Mandalorian to head back into the ship.

Alaina concentrated on her steps, careful not to slip and fall again, and eventually found the open ramp to take her back into the dry hold. Once she was a couple steps into the hold, she ripped her blindfold off and angrily threw it at the wall on her way to the ladder at the other end of the ship.

“Alaina!” Mando barked. He must have put his helmet back on because his voice cracked as the modulator tried to process his deep, booming voice. The shout startled Grogu awake, and Alaina could see him look between the adults with confused, sleepy eyes.

“I’m going up top so you can change,” Alaina informed him as she continued marching to the ladder.

“Alaina!” Mando growled again, but she continued to ignore him. She tried to pick up her pace when she heard his bare feet pound against the metal floor, but as soon as her hand grabbed the ladder, Mando’s large bare hand grabbed onto her wrist, tugging her hand off the ladder, and spun her to face him. “Would you just give me a second to explain myself?” he asked, his helmet doing little to hide his angry growl.

Alaina snatched her hand out of his grip and snarled back at him. “Please,” she invited him. “Please explain to me why you think it’s okay to use me,” she added, crossing her arms over her chest. “And don’t tell me it’s to keep me safe,” she preemptively countered, forcing the Mandalorian to deflate slightly.

“You know, before all of this—before the Empire, I could do things. I could move things with my mind. That’s not nothing, is it?” she asked but continued before Mando could answer. “And then Penn got his hands on me, and he broke me. He decided I wasn’t good enough with just that power, which is more than the rest of the galaxy can say!” she continued her irate, resentful dressing down of the half-clothed man in front of her. “I was special, and he broke me. Now I can’t move things with my mind, and I can’t understand the visions he’s forced on me, which both you and Penn seem to think are premonitions, so at least the two of you have something in common.”

“Alaina—”

“No!” she screamed, pushing him away. “I used to be whole, and now I’m broken,” she cried. Her next words came tumbling from her mouth before she could stop them, “I should have been able to stop him!”

“Who?” Mando asked, sounding confused.

Every drop of fiery anger she had evaporated at that question, and she turned her head away in embarrassment, and her eyes inadvertently landed on the spot on the floor where Calican had pinned her. From the corner of her eye, she watched Mando’s helmet turn to join her gaze, and when she saw his hands clench to make angry fists, she knew he understood everything she wasn’t saying.

“I should have been able to stop him,” Alaina repeated sadly. Her chest tugged and clenched painfully until she felt that spark of anger reignite. “I should have been able to stop him!” she repeated, rounding back on Mando. “I should’ve been able to protect myself!” she screamed. “But the Empire took that away from me!” she bit out bitterly and stomped past Mando to head back to the ramp.

Alaina pressed her hand into her chest when it suddenly lurched. Briefly, she thought she was having a heart attack, but when the feeling happened again, it reminded her more of that stupid invisible string, pulling her back to Mando.

“Alaina, I’m sorry,” he whispered his apology, loosely looping his fingers around her wrist.

She hissed in pain and spun back to glare at him. “Let—Me— Go !” she spat, yanking her wrist from his hand.

Alaina blinked when something green grabbed her attention, and she looked down to find Grogu coming to stand between them.

“Alaina, I’m sorry,” Mando apologized again.

“Penn Pershing took my powers away—” she tried to continue, but a choked sob cut her off. “And—And I can’t even blame you anymore because it’s my fault!” Alaina cracked then, slumping into his arms as she cried. Mando held her, stroking the curls of her honey-blonde hair, letting her get it out. Even when her tears seemed to slow, he clung to her.

That feeling inside her chest continued to claw its way out. She sobbed, wishing that the string attempting to find Mando would disappear, which would make this so much easier. Mando misinterpreted her cry for still being angry with Penn and wound his fingers into the hair at the back of her head to his heart. Since Mando was still naked from the waist up, she could hear his heartbeat against his chest. The sound was almost hypnotic as the organ continued to beat, like his body’s internal metronome provided a calm, reassuring balm to her own broken one.

“I should have been able to toss that mudscuffer halfway across Tatooine!” she murmured sadly into his wet chest.

“I know,” he murmured calmly while stroking her hair.

“And it’s all my fault,” she continued quietly, her words breaking the recently sealed dam of emotions, and she began crying into his chest again.

“Alaina, it’s never been your fault—”

“Yes, it is!” she argued, pushing herself away from him.

Thankfully, Mando let go of Alaina this time. However, whatever relief she felt at that disappeared when his hands grabbed her face, forcing her to look up at his helmet.

“Listen to me,” he ordered, stroking her cheeks with his thumbs. “None of this—not for one moment—has been your fault.” She opened her mouth, but Mando’s hands squeezed her cheeks tighter, preventing her from arguing with him. “Alaina, listen to me. Pershing and the Empire—they are the ones who did this to you. They are the ones who took your powers away. They are the ones who tortured you,” he finished with so much conviction that Alaina believed him. Almost.

“They still broke me,” Alaina whispered, and Mando’s thumbs rubbed her tears away. “If I would have listened to you, I could have avoided all of this.”

“You don’t know that.”

Alaina scoffed, “Well, I do know that I didn’t listen to you, and I lost my powers and now ramble like a lunatic when I have a fit, so I kind of think that makes it my fault,” she argued, continuing before Mando could say anything. “Penn always thought I was fragile, even before his mad scientist phase…” she tapered off, shaking her head. “When the testing began, it just made him worse. He would do all of these terrible things to me and then look at me like he expected me to shatter. And for some reason,” she stopped to give him a curious look, “you don’t,” she finished flatly, wondering what the Mandalorian ever saw in someone broken like her.

Mando kept her face between his hands while he studied her silently. Alaina was startled when his helmet leaned down so he could press his metal forehead into hers. “You’re beskar,” he finally said, finally letting go of her face.

Alaina blinked, staring back at her green eyes reflecting back at her from his helmet. She rolled her eyes at his analogy. “Cold? Hard?” she asked flatly.

He sighed and shook his head. “In its purest form, beskar is one of the strongest metals in the galaxy,” he tried again. “It’s only when you start trying to dilute it by adding other, weaker metals that it loses its integrity. That pile of osik,” he spat, “didn’t realize what he had. He took you, thought he could forge you into something new by adding things to make you stronger, but couldn’t see that it was just making you weaker.” He stopped to let her go and stood up to his full height.

Alaina watched her emerald eyes as they reflected in his helmet. She couldn’t decide whether to laugh, cry, or run screaming from the ship. Grogu banged his clawed hand against her leg, distracting her before she could decide what she wanted to do, and Mando knelt to pick the kid up off the ground so he could pass him to her. The kid cooed excitedly now that he was on the same level as the adults. She couldn’t help the small smile from breaking through at Grogu’s happy smile.

“I wouldn’t use you. Not like that,” Mando rasped. “That’s not how you treat your partner,” he finished quietly, stepping closer to her.

Her face crumbled at his words. Grogu placed a gentle hand on her right cheek as if to agree with Mando, and Alaina shattered.

Mando’s left hand came to rest over Grogu’s on her right cheek. “I’m not using you, Alaina,” he murmured, resting his other hand over her heart.

Alaina opened her eyes to look up at him, hope blossoming in her chest. The tiny spark of hope warmed her, almost making it feel as if it were defrosting her heart. When she reached out to copy Mando and place her hand on his chest, over the Mandalorian’s heart, she was only vaguely aware that their hearts were beating in sync.

“Alaina, I’m not using you,” he repeated more confidently. “I’m restoring you, and when I’m done, you’re going to be even stronger than you were before.”

Her hand left his chest and came to join Grogu’s and his on her cheek. When her hand landed on top of Mando’s, she closed her eyes and pressed her cheek into their palms, taking a moment to revel in the three of them being connected.

Never had anyone, since her mother, even entertained the idea that Alaina Corra was strong. But Mando did. Maker had she made a mess of this. Now was the time to tell Mando he was forgiven. Now was the time to ask for forgiveness for everything she had said to him, past and present, and hope that they could move on—

Her chest clenched painfully, forcing a surprised gasp.

Something was lurking inside of her. Something was twisting and winding its way around her heart and lungs, cinching so tightly it prevented her from breathing. Her gasp turned panicked as she tried to inhale, but her lungs only burned in protest.

“What are you doing?” Mando rasped, and her eyes flew open at his question.

She watched helplessly as Mando twisted in pain, and his hand that had been resting over her heart clutched at his own chest as he appeared also to be struggling to breathe.

Alaina’s eyes flicked around the ship, looking for what could be the cause when they landed on Grogu, whose eyes were closed in concentration, reminding her of how he looked when he healed her hand yesterday. She tried to question Grogu about what he was doing or, at the very least, yell at him to stop, but her words only came out in an undecipherable wheeze.

“Alaina—” Mando gasped in pain, and she could only press her hand harder over Mando’s to provide a tiny amount of support.

Lightning flashed, and she suddenly found herself able to breathe again. She tightened her grip over Mando’s and Grogu’s on her cheek while she tried to compose herself. However, whatever was inside her wasn’t done with her—with any of them yet.

It shifted inside. It slithered and searched, almost like it was reaching out for something. When it seemed to lock into place, the three of them froze as they took a simultaneous breath together.

Her mind and heart were full.

That’s when she realized that string was the wrong word.

She felt her string wind and braid with two others, and she could feel that the other strings belonged to Mando and Grogu.

With a final shift, cords of yellow, green, and silver locked into place, only confirming her suspicion that her use of the word string was wholly inadequate.

String… cord… tether… they were all wrong.

It was a bond.

An unbreakable bond connecting the three of them together.

The three of them took another synchronous breath, and Mando’s fingers dug into her cheek, but he still didn’t dare to break their connection.

Alaina wanted to tell him not to be scared—because she could feel Mando in her very soul and knew he was scared by what was happening to them.

Only, she never got the chance to reassure the Mandalorian.

In their next breath, lightning flashed, illuminating the hold in a bright, blinding light. The light disappeared just as quickly as it came, with the roar of thunder chasing on the lightning’s heels.

The thunder roared, the sound dragging on as it clung to the hold, blanketing the three occupants of the Razor Crest as they lay unconscious on the metal floor. Together.

Author's Note #2: Did I write an almost 14.5k chapter that used 3.5k of those words just so I could describe their first kiss? You bet your ass I did. Have I been patiently waiting since chapter 7 to *finally* confirm that Mando and Alaina possibly have a force bond? Also, yes. Did I leave the chapter on a bit of a cliffhanger? I feel like y'all should just be used to those by now 😅

Also—THANK YOU for all y'alls comments and kudos after that last chapter. Who knew that the rag-tag group of degenerates—I mean friends—following along with this story would love a heaping dose of fluff? 😜 But in all seriousness, I'm ecstatic to know that y'all are enjoying the moon interlude chapters as much as I am.

💙💙💙

Tag List: @racheldon @zenrobbins0021 @locked-ness

Drop me a message or comment if you would like to be tagged when new chapters get published.

Heaven in Hiding Masterlist

Next chapter in series - Chapter 17: The End of the Road

16 notes · View notes