#Akari by Soushi Sakiyama | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ayabeanworks · 1 year ago

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Title: I'm Home

Synopsis: Where SaShiSu finally meet you again after 7 lifetimes of not seeing you.

Character: SaShiSu x reader

Series: Let's Meet in the Spring (SaShiSu x reader)

Notes: Part 2 of Can I meet you again? AU where Geto does not defect, and you do instead. Some angst, fluff, mentions of death, suicide and murder. Happy ending.

My playlist when writing this: - Dancing With Your Ghost by Sasha Sloan - Akari by Soushi Sakiyama (Ending of JJK S2 Hidden Inventory)

When you dream, you sometimes see the same three people.

Two boys and one girl. The two boys were like the sun and moon, almost like the direct opposite of each other. One's got white hair and the bluest eyes of them all, the other's got dark hair and beautiful purple eyes rivalling amethysts. The girl had short brown hair and warm, caramel brown eyes, with a mole under her right eye.

They always seemed to appear in your dream, but every time you woke up, you could barely remember their facial features, as if something or someone was deliberately drawing over it with a thick sharpie to obstruct your view.

So when you wake up, you're left wondering why you keep dreaming of them, and your chest that clenches in longing whenever you wake up from a dream including them.

Sometimes, you would even wake up in tears, and sometimes, you would wake up with the biggest smile on your face. On one rare occasion, you felt a sharp pain in your neck that hurt so much you woke up in cold sweat. But, you could also feel a gentle hand caressing your cheek.

For your whole life, you didn't know why they kept appearing in your dreams. Even when you were young, you couldn't get the images of them out of your head, or their faceless features, nor the imagery that was shown to you. Horrible images they had been, ones where you would wake up tired and lethargic, like you'd battled and exhausted all your mental and physical energy.

You don't know who or what you're fighting.

When you tried to talk to your parents about it, they would shrug you off, thinking it was just a nightmare or something that kids dreamt of because of their overactive imaginations.

But you knew. You knew it was more than that. You just weren't able to explain it in words.

So you never talked about those dreams again. They were dreams that stayed with you and dreams that ended with you.

If you had a chance, sometimes you would ask others what their dreams were about or if they had the same type of dream. But none of them were even similar to your situation, and it made you confused why yours were so different to everyone else's.

It was only when you turned 18, you managed to remember the face of one of the three.

It was the one with dark hair and purple eyes. His features were sharper than you thought, and for him specifically, it was like a veil had risen from in front of your eyes, and you were able to remember bits and pieces of the dreams you continuously had.

You don't know his name. But the way he looked at you made your chest tight, and your cheek tingle. Specifically the area under the eye.

You could probably trace his features on a piece of paper if you tried hard enough - you could recall your fingertips tracing his face as he lay next to you, and the laugh that came from him when he found it ticklish.

Then, he would cup your cheek, his thumb gently swiping the area right under your eye, the area which would normally tingle after some dreams with him in it. And each and every time, his expression would be incredibly soft, his gaze incredibly affectionate as he looked at you.

For you to feel it so realistically, you sometimes wondered whether it was a memory from a past life, or if it was a premonition of sorts?

When you woke up, you were calm, relaxed and felt safe. It was strange after such a dream. When talking to others, you heard these types of dreams would make someone giddy and excited because it was so intimate.

Contrary to the general population, even though you were calm, and the dream you had was intimate and borderline romantic, all you just felt was that a part of you was missing.

You missed the stranger in your dreams; the stranger who sometimes held you tenderly, sometimes knocked the wind out of you with his hugs, and sometimes caressed your cheek as if you were the only thing in his eyes. After you could remember his face, the pull of longing became stronger little by little.

Your eyes started to look around, wherever you were, hoping to catch a glimpse of the boy in your dreams, a silver of hope in you to reach some answers.

Why were you having these dreams?

Who was he? Who were the other two?

What significance did they have in your life?

You have yet to get any answers.

The second face you could finally properly see was the girl. She was young, maybe around your current age and had those beautiful brown eyes you could get lost in. She had the demeanor of someone who didn't have much of a care in the world, but she was fun, she was kind and she was most of all flirty. Towards you, anyway.

You could recall the embarassment you woke up to after she had teased you all day in the dream. Your face was red, but it made you happy. For that much teasing, you wondered whether you were an M. It made no sense you liked it so much?

Hell, everything in your dreams, and how it shaped you and your thoughts, confused you. It all made no sense, but it felt like you were trying to find something, find something precious you've lost. But what precious thing did you lose?

You didn't know.

When you felt like you were on the verge of figuring something out, you couldn't. You didn't have enough information.

So, you continued life like normal, hoping that you would at least get some answers living day to day and dreaming night after night.

It was around the 3 month mark after you could see the dark haired boy that you could see the girl. Now all your dreams had both of them in it, two of the three whom you could see the faces of. But, the last one's face was still blurred out, and you still couldn't see him.

All you knew was that he wore these dark round sunglasses, had white hair, and for some reason, you knew he had blue eyes.

But, you still weren't able to see his face.

While you dreamed of scattered bits of what seemed like a memory, you could tell the white haired one was a bit brash, but was secretly a sweetheart who hid behind a bravado of arrogance.

Every time you woke up from dreaming about the white haired one, you felt like laughing, only because whatever reaction he gave was funny. He was a very lively one, and compared to the others, he always had something interesting he was doing, no matter what time or in whatever situation.

But for years, the blurring on his face didn't disappear, and you weren't able to find out what he properly looked like.

One day, you stumbled across a crepe shop a few stations away from where you lived. The rush hour traffic was absolutely abysmal, and it was a mild day, causing it to be hot and disgusting inside the train.

So, you did what any sane person would do and get off the train a few stops earlier, preferring to walk home instead. You were in your early 20's and had moved to Tokyo for work after completing your degree, preferring to be a little closer without having to commute so long.

It was only by coincidence you discovered it, but when you ordered for the first time, it was like you had practiced this order your whole life.

A crepe decorated with strawberries, whipped cream and topped with a drizzle of chocolate.

While you waited for them to make your order, you could hear someone's voice in the back of your head, a deep voice with a playful tone that didn't belong to anybody you knew.

But even so, it was a voice you were incredibly familiar with, and your breath hitched from hearing it again.

Except, when you looked around, there wasn't anybody near you, and there wasn't anybody who 'fit' the voice from a further distance away.

Nobody who 'fit' the voice? You had questioned your own thoughts, wondering where that came from. It was almost like you were trying to find a specific person.

But who?

When you got the crepe, you left. It was a delicious crepe, so you wanted to go back and get one for yourself on days when you were stressed. Probably a Friday like today. You often went there after school on Fridays.

It was a moment after you finished the thought that you stopped suddenly in your steps.

I often went there after school on Fridays? You looked over your shoulder at the crepe shop in the distance, situated between other shops.

That's impossible.

You knew it was impossible. You didn't live in the city, you didn't go to this side of the city, nor did you see this crepe shop any other time in your life. It was your first time ordering from them too!

So what gives?

The next moment, you heard a familiar voice. It was definitely a figment of your imagination, but you swore you could hear that same voice from when you were waiting for your crepe. But when you faced the direction it came from, you couldn't find anything.

You heaved a light sigh and started walking home, just missing the tall white haired man who had come to order his own crepe.

That night, you finally saw the face of the white haired boy, 4 years after seeing the faces of the dark haired boy and brown haired girl.

He was an incredibly beautiful boy, contrary to his expressions and behaviours. No blemishes to speak of, soft white hair and a glimmering set of blue eyes.

Those blue eyes were so beautiful you couldn't help but admire them whenever you remembered them. It reminded you of a cloudless blue sky, maybe even prettier.

The dream in which you had seen that boy properly for the first time was at the crepe shop you went to before. It was one where he stood with you, both in uniform as he paid for the crepes, grinning as he ordered one with a multitude of toppings, whilst you ordered your regular strawberry crepe with whipped cream and a chocolate drizzle.

His round sunglasses were opaque, a detail you seemed to already know, and when he caught you staring at him while talking, he teased you and took off his glasses, coming up close to your face to allow you to stare at his eyes.

It seemed he knew what you wanted, but after you complimented him sincrerely on how pretty his eyes were, he put the sunglasses on you, completely obscuring your vision with darkness as he ruffled your hair and mumbled out a quiet and embarrassed 'shut up'.

The same voice you heard at the crepe shop - it belonged to him. You were sure of it.

You were even more sure that if you went to that same crepe shop on Fridays during after school hours, you might be able to see him, and by extension, the other two.

It was only the next week when you woke up in cold sweat, dreaming of yet another battle. But, this time your neck stung and you felt like you were suffocating.

There was only one other time you had this type of dream, and it was when you were young, the day you tried telling your parents about it.

You controlled your inhales and exhales, holding the side of your neck that stung, feeling a liquid sensation there. Alarmed, you brought your hand in front of you to look, but it was just your sweat.

It felt like something else. A darker, more viscous liquid.

Your hand trembled, flashes of your bloodied hand flashing for less than a second in your mind, similar to your dream.

You could recall blurry imagery, blood, screams and frantic voices. You could feel one of your hands being caressed between two larger hands. You knew it was the darker haired boy who was holding your hand. But you couldn't see him except for the top half of his face. You could only make out that he had a sad expression in his eyes, but masked it with calmness.

The one who you could see, was the owner of the beautiful blue eyes. He held an expression you've never seen on him before, one that was a mixture of pain, disbelief, panic and frustration all in one. His eyes were glossy, and it looked like he could cry at any moment. His jaw was clenched and his breathing was erratic.

That was when you heard another voice, one that you knew belonged to the darker haired boy.

"Let's get you home, [name]."

That was when you woke up. You could only feel your cold body, shivers making goosebumps form on your skin, regardless of how warm the spring weather was becoming.

Compared to when you were younger, the dream you just had was much stronger, much more pronounced, and you could really feel what was happening.

It was too much. The only emotion you could feel was regret, sadness, and a tad of relief. You couldn't help but tear up. You hugged yourself in a fetal position as you tried to hold back your tears. But the more you tried to, the more tears threatened to spill.

And so you cried.

After that day, you recorded everything. You had half a mind to do it when you started being more conscious of the world, but you didn't end up doing anything until now. You should've started earlier.

After a week of jotting down all the notes you could, you had finally written up a bunch of documents on your computer, detailing everything you saw in your dreams, the people you met, the experiences you got, and the three people who it seemed to revolve around.

You even decided to take up art classes to draw the vivid imagery in your dreams after failing to draw a proper pair of round opaque sunglasses. It was easier to scribble down whatever you could, including drawings, when you remembered it.

And the drawings you found yourself drawing a lot of, were actually the crepes found at the crepe store you frequented on the weekly.

You ordered something different each time, hoping it would jog your memory or even trigger some. After all, it seemed you went to the crepe store with the white haired boy every week, and every week both of you got a different combination of flavours.

It wasn't every single time, but some would trigger memories to flow into your head. That was when you would quickly sketch down a crepe with a large number of toppings, one that you know you wouldn't get. It was definitely the white haired boy's.

This continued on for the next few years, and the number of sketchbooks and documents you've put together were numerous. There was so much material and you had more to add, making you wonder when you would stop getting these dreams.

On a day where you didn't get any dreams, you decided you wanted to go to the crepe store. It wasn't a Friday, but rather a Saturday, just a day after your previous visit.

You hadn't gone on a weekend before.

As you make your way there, you found the chatter of the streets to be louder than the Friday, full of smiles and laughter of families and friends.

This brought a smile to your lips as you stopped in front of the crepe store, wondering what you wanted this time. Yesterday you had a maple syrup crepe, so today you'll get a savoury one.

You put in an order for a cream cheese salmon crepe, a new addition added only the week prior, and stood to the waiting area, patiently waiting for them to finish your brunch.

"I think this is the first time I've ever seen you ordering a savoury crepe. What happened to just the sweet kind?"

You froze.

That voice.

Your eyes widened and you immediately looked up from your open sketchbook, staring at a taller man with white hair, tinted round sunglasses and the biggest grin on his face.

It was the boy, now a man, from your dreams.

Your eyes glossed over with a sudden wish to cry. Your chest tightened, making it harder to breathe while your head started hurting, a bunch of information flowing into your mind like they were your own. The amount of information crammed into your head was overwhelming, almost worse than the worst headache you've ever had.

But, it gave you answers. It gave you everything you ever wanted to know.

Now, everything made sense.

Your lips parted, about to say something, but then it closed and opened again like a goldfish, unsuccessful in delivering anything via words. Instead, your tears fell and you sobbed like a madman, wailing in the middle of the street while waiting for your crepe.

Satoru only laughed at you, taking the sketchbook out of your hands as he pulled you into his chest, giving you tight hug, enveloping you in his embrace.

Oh, how you missed his hugs.

"'toru, 'toru, 'toru!" You chanted his nickname like a prayer, your voice muffled in his chest as you sobbed, arms trying to pull him impossibly closer than he already was. You couldn't stop the tears from falling; a sense of relief, happiness and comfort washing over you as you hugged him.

Satoru only responded by hugging you tighter, pressing his cheek to the top of your head as he nuzzled into you, taking in the scent he's missed so much. He pressed a kiss to the crown of your head, then nuzzled his cheek back in the same place.

You were here. You were here in his arms. He wasn't dreaming.

"I'm here, [name]." One of his hands behind your neck started stroking the back of your head, comforting you as you let another sob at his reassurance that you were definitely not dreaming and he was there in the flesh.

Against his chest, you could feel his racing heartbeat as he hugged you, almost like he'd run a marathon, making your sobs turn into broken laughs at how that one trait never changed.

You pulled away from him but kept in his embrace, sniffing as you stared up at him. You reached up to take off his sunglasses, seeing those beautiful blue eyes you've missed. You stared into them for a moment, with them staring right back at you, almost like they could see through your soul.

"Like what you see?" A familiar, shit-eating grin made you laugh and lightly hit his arm, mirth settling in his eyes as he saw your smile.

It was genuine.

"You've grown up, 'toru." Your words were soft as you cupped both of his cheeks, checking his face from all angles. "The last time I saw you, we were both 18." You pinched his cheeks before your hands dropped to your sides, "You've matured. You've become really handsome."

Satoru usually would've cracked a joke, but with the shock of finally seeing you again and the sincerity in your words after not meeting you for over 600 years, he nodded, a closed smile as he felt his eyes become glossy. He shied away from your gaze, opting to look at your shoulder as he tried to blink away his tears.

The last time he saw you was when you died in his arms. He didn't count Kenjaku who had taken over your body as you. So when he finally saw you waiting at the crepe store he'd come to on a weekly basis, he couldn't help but feel so, so happy you were there. He almost thought it wasn't real because they weren't able to find you for over 7 lifetimes, and it was his mind playing tricks on him.

Though, as luck would have it, a couple of years ago, he just barely saw you, and knew they could find you this time around.

And that, they did.

"'toru, can you lean down for me?" You request, taking a small step back so he had room to. You felt his arms lock so you stayed in his embrace, almost like he was afraid you'd escape from his grasp and leave.

He met your eyes again, this time confusion evident in them as he did as requested. You felt your hands go to the sides of his head, bringing him down a slight bit more, before planting a kiss on his hairline.

"I promised!"

When you let go, he stood back up, bringing you in for another embrace as he hid his face from you, hiding your face in the crook of his neck. His face was burning with a pink blush, his ears red as he tried to calm down his hammering heart. He knew you could hear it, but he didn't want you to see his embarrassed face too.

"Satoru, have you gotten your crepe yet?"

Suguru, who had come with Shoko, raised a brow as he saw Satoru hugging someone. The other person held his glasses in one hand, lightly patting his back as a means of comfort. They were still waiting for their crepes, it seemed.

"Wait..." Shoko paused for a moment, a hand coming to Suguru's arm. "That's..." She was glad she wasn't smoking at this very moment, because immediately after seeing the familiar hands, Suguru had excused himself and gave Shoko all the things he was holding, forsaking his gentleman behaviour to see the friend he couldn't save.

Shoko could only sigh as she watched her best friends. She was waiting her turn and wouldn't be able to go against those two giants, so all she did was stand off to the side and watch as they had a little reunion before she had hers.

"[name]!" Suguru's call of your name was breathless as he grabbed Satoru's shoulder, making you lift your head to see him.

When you saw Suguru again, you let go of Satoru and your arms reached to go around Suguru's neck as you cried his name, jumping into his arms as you once again cried at the appearance of your best friend, the one who tried to save you but you pushed away.

Satoru couldn't even properly get mad because he already had his cute little reunion, so he gave Suguru a little grin before going over to Shoko and taking the bags from her to bring closer to where everyone else was.

"Sugu!" You sobbed his name as you buried your face into the crook of his neck. He supported you by holding you up in a tight hug, closer to his strong ones, as you breathed in his familiar scent.

He couldn't stop himself from also shedding a couple of tears, giving you a light kiss on your cheek in the process, his eyes closed as he rearranged his arms so one arm was around your waist, and the other was on the back of your head.

"I missed you." He mumured into your ear. His voice was so small, about to crack, as he let you down onto the ground and leaned down to bury his face into your neck. He just bathed in your presence, bathed in you.

He missed this. He missed you. He missed you so, so much. He didn't know if he would be able to live without you. Those 600 years and more he had to wait for you to finally come back to him were so, so long. But he never gave up. They never gave up.

That was how precious you were to them.

"Sugu, I want to see you." You gently pet the back of his head, smoothing out the hair he'd let loose for the day. It was as silky as you remembered it, maybe even more?

You wondered if he followed your advice on using shampoo and conditioner instead of just soap.

Suguru didn't move for a second, but sniffed and lifted himself up, facing you with red eyes and cheeks. He didn't care if others saw him. He didn't care anymore, especially when it came to you.

You smiled up at him, happiness in your eyes as you looked at him as if he was the most precious thing you've ever set your eyes on (you look at Satoru & Shoko the same way, he noted). You cupped his cheeks, doing exactly what you did to Satoru to Suguru too, examining his facial features.

You run a hand through his hair, pulling it gently back for him. "You've grown up, Sugu. You look very handsome. Very dashing." You giggled when you see his cheeks flare at the compliments, and he resists the urge to hide in the crook of your neck again and take in your calming scent.

"You have too." Suguru eyes you, nodding to himself at your now matured look. He grabs one of your hands, holding it with both his own as he gently rubs circles into the back of your hand.

To him, Satoru & Shoko, you were still pretty much the same as when you were 18, when you left them in their first life. You didn't change much. All your mannerisms were the same, maybe a little bit different from how you grew up, but he thought of it as another variation of you.

You only beam at him, giving him a little twirl of yourself, making the three of them laugh.

You were still so cute.

"Shoko!" You let go of Suguru's hand after giving it a light squeeze, heading over to where the doctor was.

Her arms were already outstretched for you, and you dove right into her arms, hugging her as tight as possible, feeling a laugh resonating in her chest as you hugged her tight. Her arms went around your neck, chin on top of your head as you tried not to cry again at seeing her.

She stroked the back of your head gently, kissing your forehead and cheeks, then pressing her forehead against yours after a slight change in positioning. "You seem well, [name]. Did you miss me? We kept our promise to see you again."

"Of course I missed you!" You ended up bawling into her shirt as you realised she was the one who hadn't seen you the longest out of the three. The last time you properly saw her was just after you had murdered the elder, and then you died a year or so later in Satoru & Suguru's arms.

Shoko, already understanding what you wanted to say, only smiled as she closed her eyes and leaned her head against yours.

After a moment, you apologised for making her clothes wet with your tears, but she shrugged it off, citing 'battle scars' with a wide grin. Some things she said, was still a mystery to you.

You sniffed as you took a step back to fully look at Shoko. She looks much cooler than she did back then, grown her hair longer, and was more mature in appearance than before, which leaned more on the cute side.

"You're so beautiful." You complimented, "Truly!" You could probably stare at her for days. Why did she have the best glow up?

Shoko gave you a wink, smirking at you when you blushed.

"Savoury crepes aren't actually that bad." Satoru suddenly commented, having taken a few bites from your freshly made one.

"Hey! Isn't that my crepe?!" You looked at the crepe store owner, but when he met your eyes he just gave you a thumbs up and a nod, signalling all was good. He had witnessed your touching reunion with them, and given your brunch to Satoru.

"Satoru, let me have some." Suguru took the crepe from him, taking a couple of bites himself as you watched your crepe disappear into the stomachs of the two men. He licked his lips to get some of the cream cheese off, nodding in approval, "This is quite good. I'll order another one for us." He taps your nose with a smile as he went to order more, taking the last bits of your crepe with him.

While he did, you returned your gaze at Satoru, who was busy eating the incredibly sweet one he ordered.

He met your eyes and raised both brows, almost as if he was asking why you were staring.

"How often did you come here?" You omitted the part you wanted to ask the most, about how long they've been waiting.

Satoru didn't even blink as he answered straight away, "Every week at first, then every day. For over 600 years. 7 lifetimes. 7 timelines."

You stared at him in shock, frozen at his answer. Your lips trembled as you realised just how long they've been searching for you. For the 3 or so years you've been together as best friends, it made such a huge impact that it spanned centuries.

You could feel how devoted they were to you, how much they loved you, how they couldn't forget about you. It made you so happy they were so loyal in finding you, but it also felt like you'd chained them down so strongly that it was unfair.

"What if you couldn't find me after 1000, 2000 years?" Your voice was small as it shook.

"We'd fnd you. No matter what." His words were solid, unmoving, and sturdy. There was no hesitation, none at all. He wholeheartedly believed this. "Well, at least I wasn't going to give up. The world could freeze or burn for all I care, but if I couldn't find you then I'd continue or die trying. Rinse and repeat."

"Me too." Suguru came back with the 3 savoury crepes, handing one to everyone except Satoru.

"Me three." Shoko gave the dark haired man a nod as a thank you for the crepe.

You stared at the three of them, remembering how suffocated you felt back in your original life because of all the curses, all the problems that arose with the elders and whatnot. It pushed you to breaking point and even if they were there to try and bring you out, you had fallen in so deep you weren't able to get out. You felt alone and didn't have anymore strength to get out.

But, this time was different. This world didn't have curses. You didn't have the problems you had back then. Your best friends were still here, and they had come to find you, no matter what world nor how long it took. They were there for you.

Would you be able to rely on them this time?

"Thank you." You stared at the crepe as you spoke, not brave enough to see their expressions. "Thank you for not giving up on me. Thank you for not forgetting me. Thank you for finding me. Thank you for everything."

"The crepe didn't do anything for you, [name]." Suguru laughed when you looked up at him in humiliation, not wanting to repeat your heartfelt words to their faces.

Shoko let out a laugh at his comment, making your face flare red.

Satoru had an amused glint in his eyes as he grinned, "Don't be embarassed, we've gone through 7 lifetimes for you. Seven. If that ain't embarrassing to find someone you've known for 3 years, I don't know what is." He watched as you opened and closed your mouth like a goldfish yet again, fueling his amusement.

"Well, it doesn't have to be said now. You can say it whenever you want." Shoko took a bite of the crepe, nose crinkling at the difference in the sweet crepe and the savoury toppings.

"Boo." Suguru & Satoru pouted, wanting to tease you more.

"Anyway, let's go home." Shoko eyed the groceries, "The groceries aren't going to unpack themselves."

The men gave a hum in agreement.

"Already?" You looked at them, sadness appearing on your face since you wanted to talk to them more.

They stared at you as if you had grown another head, with Satoru raising a perfect white brow at the cute pout on your lips.

"What do you mean, 'already?' You're coming with us." He spoke matter of factly. "We'll get the movers to bring your stuff to ours as soon as possible."

"Yeah, what gave you the idea you could run away so quickly?" Suguru had a glint in his eyes as he spoke. He pinched your cheek, "You think we're gonna let you go now that we've found you?"

"You're stuck with us now, [name]." Shoko laughed brightly, reminding you of her in your original life. It had been so, so long since you've last heard her laugh so brightly, it struck a chord in your heart.

"C'mon," She held out her hand, prompting you to take it as she pulled you along. "I want to hear what's been happening with you. We've got lots to catch up on."

Suguru shifted in his step so he was next to you, an arm slung around your shoulders as he pushed you forward to walk with them. "And don't you dare leave anything out." He raised both brows at you, referencing the times you kept things from them.

You gave him a meek nod, promising yourself you wouldn't.

Satoru twirled the key to his car and house around his fingertips, "Y'know, you forgot to say one thing."

"One thing?"

The glasses slid down his nose as his gaze matched yours. "Remember your last words before you died in my arms?"

It took you a moment to recall your words, an 'o' shape forming on your lips.

You felt a squeeze on your shoulder and hand from Suguru and Shoko, who you knew were watching you recall some distant memories, but fresh ones in their minds. Especially for Suguru and Satoru, they were were the ones who heard it loud and clear, being the ones to experience your last moments.

Your heart blossomed with warmth at their invitation to come back with them. You didn't think reincarnation was real - it was just a wish because you wanted to see them again. So your last words reflected the wish you held so dearly in your heart. You let out the most dazzling smile you've ever made in your life, radiating so much joy for a wish come true, "I'm home!"

The grins on Satoru, Suguru and Shoko's faces could put the brightest gems to shame.

"Welcome home!"

You've arrived home, and you were there to stay.

A/N: A little note about the ending and what [reader] and SaShiSu says: it's referencing your last words back when you died in your first life/original life.

The last part [reader] says, "I'm home / ただいま", is what the Japanese say when they come back home after a day out, and is said to family members, friends and anyone they're coming home to.

On the other hand, SaShiSu say "Welcome home / おかえり - okaeri", an expression used to reply to "I'm home", or one to ellicit that answer. What's important is the person who says this is the 'home' the person saying 'I'm home" is coming home to.

For anyone who watches or reads and watches manga/anime/Japanese dramas, you're probably aware that when someone says "I'm home", it usually means that they've at least said "I'll be going now / いってきます - ittekimasu" before they leave and come home later. But this phrase isn't just "I'll be going now" - it actually holds the nuance and vibe that the person saying it (the one who's going somewhere) will come back. So it's got a closer meaning to "See you later" if we look at it in English translation.

And in this story, it can be assumed [reader] says "I'll be going now / いってきます - ittekimasu" as their last words in their first life, with a wish in their heart to see SaShiSu again. Which is why in their letters to SaShiSu, [reader] talked about reincarnation and wanting to see them in a world without curses.

In this context, the way [reader] says it is really cruel, because they didn't come back and left on their own, effectively leaving an 18 year old Suguru & Satoru to hear [reader]'s last words, and Shoko to hear it from them. And because of the nuances behind the meaning of those seemingly simple words, it devastated them when they read the letters. They couldn't just let it go.

That's also why Suguru's last words [reader] can recall from their first life is "Let's get you home, [name]", because he's responding to it in the only way he can cope and not curse them, but also wishing for [reader] to come back to them. And if [reader] died, they would then have their corpse, and will bring it back to get cremated in the 'home' [reader] belonged to before defecting.

Since they couldn't get over it, they did whatever they could to find [reader] in the 7 lifetimes and timelines they've been reincarnated to. So when they've finally found [reader], the words SaShiSu wanted to hear the most were "I'm home" from their best friend who hadn't yet come back to them.

A/N p2: God explaining the nuances makes me cry more than the actual story itself 😭

Anyway if you haven't read part 1, here you go!

As for the others, here's the masterlist for the series if you want to read up on other things happening in this universe😄

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frostfires-blog · 1 year ago

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Jujutsu Kaisen Hanakotoba Analysis

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-> Black Lily

The flowers pictured in this scene are black lilies (Lilium) which are known as kuro yuri (黒百合) in Japanese. Its hanakotoba meanings are “love” and “curse”. In Western floriography, they symbolise rebirth, transformation and the appeal of the unknown. In the scene pictured above Tsumiki Fushiguro is seen surrounded by myriads of black lilies which is fitting considering she was cursed and fell into a coma. Cursed love is a significant theme in Jujutsu Kaisen, particularly in the prequel film Jujutsu Kaisen: 0. In the film, Gojo says, "Love is the most twisted curse of all." This perfectly encapsulates the symbolic meaning of the black lily.

-> Black Petunia

“Made my decision, I won't go back anymore, and I won't regret it. Watch as I change reality. Even if the truth is cruel... Catastrophe will be overwhelmed..." (Vivid Vice, Who-ya Extended)

While the flower pictured in Jujutsu Kaisen’s second opening, Vivid Vice, is often thought to be a black lily; it more closely resembles a black petunia. Petunias are known as pechunia (ペチュニア) in Japanese and hold the hanakotoba meanings of “peace of the heart” and “with you, the heart will be soft”. In Western floriography, petunias mean “your presence soothes me”. Darkness, mourning, and resentment are associated with black petunias. However, black petunias also have the enigmatic connotations of strength, mystery, and uniqueness. In the opening, a black flower, presumably a petunia opens up while a juvenile Emperor Angelfish (Pomacanthus imperator) swims around it. This fish is thought to represent Junpei Yoshino while the flower is thought to represent Yuji Itadori. Additionally, throughout this Jujutsu Kaisen’s opening sequences water has been shown to represent danger and destruction. Thereby making this scene a depiction of how Yuji’s strength has blossomed because of having undergone serious loss and being nurtured by danger and destruction. Both Yuji’s background as well as the origin and full extent of his unique abilities remain shrouded in mystery. This ties in with black petunias symbolizing strength, mystery and uniqueness. In addition to this Yuji’s kindness, upbeat and easy-going personality bring a sense of reassurance to those that know him well. The other connotations of the petunia, which include "your presence soothes me," "the heart will be soft with you," and "the peace of the heart," are all related to these attributes.

-> Red Spider Lily

“Memories are fragile I have no use for yesterday So the moon is dark, twisting light Where shall I go tomorrow” (Akari, Soushi Sakiyama) “Indomitable spirit and immeasurably bottomless love and hate The everlasting half-melted life bound to the fallen” (Avant, Eve)

In Japan, red spider lilies (Lycoris radiata) are known as higanbana (彼岸花) which means autumn equinox flower. They represent sad memories, resignation, independence, lost memory, abandonment, passion and those who are never to meet again in Japanese hanakotoba. The red spider lily is also associated with death, goodbyes, rebirth and the far shore (land of the dead). The red spider lily's symbolic meaning of farewells and rebirth is embodied in classic Japanese artworks depicting mythological situations, where they are referred to as the "flowers of heaven.“ In Japan, there is a strong correlation between the Buddhist and Shinto religions and red spider lilies. These striking flowers are thought to represent rebirth and the transience of life. They are also believed to guide the deceased's spirits transition to the afterlife. They are frequently observed blossoming next to cemeteries or other holy locations. They are also thought to have protective properties that shield against negative energy and evil spirits. Red spider lilies are also thought to symbolise the boundary between life and death in Japanese culture. This is because its flowers bloom during autumnal equinox when Japanese Buddhists believe that deceased people's spirits return to the near shore (the world of the living). Some legends claim that when an individual crosses paths with someone they will never see again, red spider lilies blossom alongside their path. These legends are partly responsible for the flower's affinity with final goodbyes, in addition to its association with death and the hereafter. This flower is also regarded as a symbol of both death and rebirth and are described as the flowers that grow in hell in the Lotus Sutra. As a result of this, certain Buddhist traditions in China and Japan believe that these flowers aid spirits in crossing from the afterlife into reincarnation. The flower's sad symbolism for loss and parting is based on an ancient Chinese legend about two elves, Saka and Manju, who were the guardians of leaves and flowers, respectively. They could never meet, however, because the red spider lily never sprouts flowers and leaves at the same time. They both yearned to meet one another, and they violated the gods in order to do so. The gods punished them harshly for this and separated them for eternity. The flower is still associated with loss, both of loved ones and of memories. Despite their frequent association with death and parting, red spider lilies are also admired for their beauty and resilience. They can survive in a range of challenging environments, including rocky and riverside locations, and their vivid red hue helps them stand out against the surrounding scenery. As a result of this, these flowers can also be seen as a symbol of strength and perseverance in the face of adversity. The red spider lily also represents beauty because of its vivid, vibrant red blossoms, which give a sense of elegance. Red spider lilies are pictured in Jujutsu Kaisen’s 3rd ending theme as well as the opening credits for its mobile game, Phantom Parade. In ED3, the flowers could be a harbinger of how various characters in this arc will meet their impending deaths, separating them from everyone else. The final panel of this ending depicts Gojo and Geto walking beneath a bridge. The underbridge in the real-life location on which this scene was based is only a single-path bridge, however here the bridge splits into two opposite directions. This is similar to legends that state that when a person meets paths with someone they will never see again, crimson spider lilies bloom across their path. This alludes to how Gojo and Geto will part ways at the end of the Hidden Inventory Arc and will never walk alongside each other again. In the Phantom Parade OP, myriads of spider lilies are pictured under an ominous sky surrounding Mahito and Pseudo-Geto. The use of these flowers here foreshadows their connection with the far shore, their association with human souls and bodies, and their nefarious schemes involving carnage and death.

-> Cherry Blossom

“And now, I can only imagine my future taken away by a curse. Running and falling, embracing these wounds that won't disappear... The world awaits for this moment.” (Kaikai Kitan, Eve)

The cherry blossom (Prunus) is known as the Japanese cherry and is the unofficial national flower of Japan. Its Japanese name Sakura (桜) has been derived from the word “saku” which means “to bloom”. Its hanakotoba meanings are “beauty of spirit”, grace, chastity, excellent beauty, gentleness, good education and the “transience of life”. In Japan, cherry blossoms are also a symbol of the “beauty of impermanence”—a Shinto concept better known as “mono no aware” (物の哀れ) as their falling petals are a reminder that although life is short, it is beautiful and should be savoured. The Japanese concept of “natsukashii” (懐かしい) likewise emphasizes the fleeting nature of cherry blossoms. This concept refers to the happy-yet-wistful nostalgia for times and things that we will never be able to go back to. We will never get to experience those moments again, just like the ephemeral cherry blossoms, which makes them even more significant. Cherry blossoms bloom from March to April which is the start of the new fiscal year in Japan. As a result of this cherry blossoms have also come to symbolise new beginnings and springtime. Given that feudal Japanese soldiers associated cherry blossoms with honour, discipline, and dignity—falling flowers were thought to be symbolic of a Samurai's death. In Western floriography, cherry blossoms herald the changing of the seasons and symbolise renewal and rebirth. They also symbolise the fleeting nature of life, tenderness, forgiveness, strength, beauty, love, confidence, peace, friendship and gratitude. The Cherry Blossom's association with "happy-yet-wistful nostalgia for times and things that we will never be able to go back to" is reminiscent of both Gojo's and Yuji's carefree high school days before the Hidden Inventory Arc and Shibuya Incident respectively. The transiency of life is a central motif in Jujutsu Kaisen, as being a Jujutsu sorcerer means facing the threat of death around every turn. "No matter how many allies you have around you; when you die, you'll be alone". This line said by Gojo reinforces that one's time in life is finite and that nothing can stop death. Even if you have your loved ones with you at the time of death, they will not accompany you on your journey to the hereafter.

-> Ginkgo

In Japan, ginkgo trees (Ginkgo biloba) are called ginkyo (銀杏) and symbolise magnificence, longevity, requiem, strength, hope and peace in hanakotoba. In Western floriography, ginkgo trees symbolise solemnity, longevity and requiem. The beauty and symbolism of the ginkgo tree are valued by many European cultures, who associate it with power, resilience, human progress, enlightenment, and memory enhancement. The ginkgo tree also represents renewal as shows off a magnificent colour display each autumn as it sheds its leaves to sprout new ones. In other Asian cultures, ginkgo trees are highly symbolic of longevity, endurance, resiliency, and hope. The ginkgo's symbolic meaning is said to be derived from the tree’s ability to survive under the harshest conditions as well as its long lifespan. When displayed as a single tree, it stands for strength and solitude. Many of Jujutsu Kaisen's characters embody the Ginkgo's symbolic qualities of strength, power, resilience, renewal, and solemnity. Meanwhile, the tree's symbolic meanings of hope and longevity are contradicted by its brutal motifs and numerous tragic deaths.

-> Hydrangea

“Before my goodwill breaks down, I should have told you everything. In a life where night descends and dissolves, The murky feelings flicker in the dim light.” (Akari, Soushi Sakiyama)

Hydrangeas (Hydrangea macrophylla) are known as Ajisai (紫陽花) in Japan. Its meanings in traditional hanakotoba are pride, patience, coldness, heartlessness and temperament. Conversely, the flower is also connected with empathy and apology. In Japanese culture, the blossom has both positive and negative connotations, representing both deep or heartfelt emotion in addition to a fickle or changeable heart. In Western floriography, hydrangeas have both negative meanings—such as heartlessness, boastfulness, and coldness—as well as positive meanings—such as sincerity, honesty, gratitude, heartfelt emotions and deep understanding. The hydrangea's symbolic meanings of pride, patience, coldness, heartlessness, temperament, and a fickle or changeable heart correspond to Gojo's character during the Hidden Inventory Arc and Geto's character post-Hidden Inventory Arc. The flower's connotation of deep or heartfelt compassion and empathy corresponds to Geto's character during the Hidden Inventory Arc and Gojo's character after the Hidden Inventory Arc. Hydrangeas are also associated with gratitude, sincere emotions and deep understanding, all of which characterise Gojo and Geto's friendship.

-> Osmanthus

Sweet osmanthus (Osmanthus fragrans ) is also known as orange osmanthus, sweet olive, tea olive and fragrant olive. It is known as Kinmokusei (金木犀) in Japan and symbolizes a “humble and noble person” as well as “first love” in hanakotoba. Contrary to its sweet and wonderful fragrance, this plant only produces small, modest flowers, from which it is supposed to draw its symbolism of humility. The reason osmanthus symbolises nobility is supposed to have originated from the way that rain gracefully scatters the flowers without diminishing their fragrance. Osmanthus also symbolizes love, passion and sensuality in Japanese culture. In Western floriography, osmanthus flowers symbolize love, faithfulness, prosperity, happiness, fortune and protection. Orange osmanthus flowers in particular symbolize joy, optimism and serenity. Osmanthus flowers also symbolize honesty, spiritual enlightenment, elegance and beauty. The Osmanthus flower’s meanings of joy, serenity, optimism, happiness, faithfulness and good fortune encapsulate the carefreeness of Gojo and Riko’s school days before the Hidden Inventory Arc. Its symbolic meanings of faithfulness, happiness, purity, beauty and optimism resonate with Riko’s character. While its symbolic meanings of spiritual enlightenment, honesty, elegance, protection, nobility and good fortune resonate with Gojo’s character.

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╰┈➤ Anime Hanakotoba Posts Directory

╰┈➤ JJK OP4 Traditional Symbolism

[I didn't go into much depth here since I wanted to keep things brief—because I know my other posts have been somewhat wordy lately... Please feel free to leave your thoughts and suggestions in the comments section. Also, I added new information that I missed to my "JJK OP4 Traditional Symbolism" post, so check that out if interested.]

If you liked this post, you should check out my other hanakotoba posts… I've created a convenient directory so you can locate them all without having to browse through my entire blog.]

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