#Adam Nitti

[lumiereandcogsworth]

heyyyyyyy hey wait I forgot I follow up on this, you mentioned there was tea regarding Adam’s dad and his first wife 👁️ is that something you’re willing to share bc I am all ears

ahhhh yes yes yes. my LORE!!!!!!! i am absolutely happy to spill that tea. i did indeed mention here that adam is the product of his father’s second wife, not his first. so let me divulge all the stuff that went down before adam came around!!

so, first, some backstory on louis, adam’s father. he was his father, king antoine’s, firstborn. four years later, he has a brother named adrien. adrien dies of illness around age five, and young louis is devastated, but his father is tough and hard and tells his son to buck up! crying is for the ladies. a few years later, louis’s mother, anne michelle, also dies. louis doesn’t cope well with this at all, but he’s so scared of his abusive father that he hides his feelings once again. soon, king antoine remarries. he and his new wife have a daughter, and they name her genevieve after her mother. they entirely dote on genevieve, completely neglecting louis, leaving him to his own devices. he becomes miserable and cruel, and an entirely reckless young man.

when prince louis is 24, king antoine has a health scare that causes him concern. he fears he may not live much longer, and he sees that his son is in no place to take the throne, should he die. so, he arranges for his reckless son to marry an upstanding young lady, to ensure that louis could become king at the moment of antoine’s passing. louis is less than thrilled about his bride, but when they meet on their wedding day, there is actually a spark between them. her name is agnès claudine marie. she was chosen because their marriage would be politically advantageous, as well as look very perfect to the public eye. louis was all ready to loathe this new wife of his. but he just… didn’t.

agnès was firey and stood her ground. she challenged him constantly and louis was pretty shocked by it. (but also… turned on by it as well.) louis was still a very shitty person, like, agnès did Not make him a better man. but they sort of got along in their own twisted way. they appeared a perfect, prim and proper couple to the public eye, but behind closed doors they were very just… toxic and messy. and what made matters worse was that king antoine died shortly after they were married, so louis had to grapple with his father’s death (sprouting the classic, complicated grief that comes along with losing an abusive father), and handle being king, all while never being mentally or emotionally prepared for it, nor having anyone to lean on in the process. it’s ROUGH.

louis had such a quick temper and was insanely jealous. he got pissed at agnès for even so much as talking to another man at a party, even if he was right there by her side. after the parties would end, he’d throw things and break things and scream at her and she’d scream right back, bullying him just as much as he berated her. these arguments almost always ended in ridiculously hot sex. which is funny and i don’t know why i feel the need to mention it but. as a fake historian it’s my duty to share all fake facts. anyway.

eventually, louis and agnès had a daughter. they named her claudine. louis doesn’t feel MUCH about this, as he very much needs a son to be his heir, but he does care enough about agnès to not completely despise his daughter. he’s a pretty indifferent father at this point. although i’m sure he always made claudine feel fairly useless, just for being a girl.

about six years later, agnès became pregnant with their second child. tragedy struck, however, when she died in childbirth. she delivered a boy, but he did not live longer than a day.

THIS is really the turning point where louis goes from bad to the absolute worst. it’s all buried and complicated inside him but he’s truly devastated by agnès’s death. she was always so alive with passion he just never expected to lose her. and the fact that he loses their son, HIS SON, within a day, it just breaks him for good. he goes from awful to downright ruthless. he grows more wicked toward his daughter, seeing too much of her mother in her and blaming her for it. blaming her too, for not being his much-needed male heir. he also becomes a terror in his court, and in general just a horrible person to be around.

unfortunately at this point, the psychological damage that has been done to him just really causes him to spiral out of control. he’s blinded by unprocessed grief and unfounded rage. and the people are in an uproar! who will be their heir! where is the dauphin of france!! all this just makes him desperate to find another wife to give him a male heir. it’s all he cares about now. so, less than a year later, louis found someone. it was similar to prologue adam’s parties where the villages and towns were taxed to send all their maidens. and renée elizabeth aubert was the only daughter of five children. her parents OF COURSE wanted to give her the opportunity to marry THE KING!

and… it worked. louis saw her and found her to be beautiful. (oh, shall i mention here that he’s 30 and she’s 17?) renée wasn’t as tenacious as agnès but she was gorgeous and held her head high. she intrigued him. (and her mentioning that she had four brothers was definitely a factor for louis.) so, he courted her and married her swiftly.

renée settled into her new life as queen. louis distracted and enticed her with the finest clothes and jewelry, making her feel so very adored. she tried to get along with her step-daughter, claudine, who was around 7 years old at this point, but poor princess claudine was so traumatized from losing her mother and from louis’s abuse, so she didn’t really want to connect much with renée. so, claudine spend the vast majority of her time with her governess, who was basically raising her fully at that point.

soon, renée became pregnant, and successfully delivered a boy! huzzah!! adam is here!!

for a few years, things carry on. louis grows more twisted and disinterested in his wife and children. he hardly sees claudine, and he’s disappointed in adam thus far. (adam didn’t start speaking or walking until he was like 2-3, so louis was convinced he was just “stupid” and they all got worried he was possibly deaf. but renée knew her boy wasn’t deaf or stupid, because she actually spent time with him and could see that his mind just worked differently. and he always looked up at her when she called his name.) regardless, louis was also getting increasingly frustrated with renée, because she kept miscarrying pregnancies. (i think giving birth to adam very nearly killed her, and left damage that just made carrying any future pregnancy to full term impossible.) so, louis was now stuck with a useless daughter and a worthless son and a dysfunctional wife. and he made sure they all knew it! he continued to drink and be abusive. claudine sort of gets out of it, eventually going to live in paris for private tutoring and finishing school.

but! claudine would still come home for christmas, and other events. well, approaching one christmas, louis and renée had been away on a trip for diplomatic reasons. on the trip, renée had caught some sort of illness. when they returned, they kept adam away from her (for fear that the heir would catch it) but unfortunately, princess claudine was there, and caught the illness. renée recovered in a couple of weeks. the princess, however, died. she was 12 years old.

adam was 4, and doesn’t really have any memories of his sister claudine. especially since they didn’t really grow up under the same roof. but anyway, louis is just angered by yet ANOTHER death in this godforsaken family of his. and he, despite caring very little for claudine, IS saddened because she WAS his last piece of agnès. he decided to blame renée, since she’s the one who brought the illness home.

well. time carries on. some years later, when adam is nine and a half, he loses his mother, queen renée, to illness as well. he’s left alone with his father, and you know how the story goes…

anyway my take is that the de beaumont family is quite literally cursed by death and for generations they’re just plagued to lose people but Just Enough survive to maintain the family line. and adam, breaking his own separate curse by the enchantress, does then, in turn, break the beaumont family death curse as well. because true love conquers ALL. thank you 💙

[thekrows-nest]

The Super Special Secret Krow Lore Post

Aight. So according to the last poll y'all wanted to get the secrets of Krow in nitty gritty detail. There may be still those who don't wanna know (yet) so I'll put it under a read more. Also because it'll likely get long lmao.

His name

So I mentioned that his legal name is Isaiah. His full legal name is Isaiah Kolan Johnson. Isaiah is a biblical name meaning "god is salvation" and his middle name Kolan as well as sounding pretty fucking unfortunate also means "dove keeper". Johnson I just tried to think of the whitest sounding surname I could lmao. Krow was adopted/fostered by a conservative fundamentalist Christian family that valued reputation more than the well being of their kids. The parents have three bio kids and, not counting Krow, eight adopted and/or foster kids. Essentially they adopted/fostered kids to show to their community and church that they're "such good Christians taking in impoverished and/or PoC kids cause they're SUCH good people" but really the only kids that got ANY positive attention or care were the bio sons (the bio daughter was just expected to look after ALL her siblings). All the other kids were pretty neglected both physically, mentally and emotionally. The parents are John and Esther The names of his fellow foster/adopted siblings are: Jacob, David, Matthew, Noah, Peter, Sarah, Abigail and Leah The bio kids names are Adam, Joseph and... Mary. (: Krow ran away from home before he was set to graduate high school.

Krow's Secret, and his birth family

Before I can really get into what "Krow's secret" is, I need to mention is bio/birth family. As I've mentioned, Krow is Indian and Bengali. His parents are immigrants to America, and Krow was born in America. So his nationality is American, but race/ethnicity is Indian/Bengali. Krow's birth name is Sarveshvara Banerjee. Sarveshvara is a name derived from the god Shiva, and specifically means "determination, energy and confidence". His last name, Banerjee, are from a family of which their caste are descended from priests (so Krow actually comes from a pretty darn important caste back in India and Bengal). His father is named Riyan and his mother is named Khushi. They were essentially a victim to racism and classism in America. Krow was taken from them at a very young age and placed into foster care and that is how he was scooped up by the Johnson's.

Now, what is this big secret? As some of you may have guessed, Krow... isn't entirely human. He is descended from Naga (specifically on his father's side), and specifically... his Naga clan were cursed by the goddess Manasa. A long, long time ago, Krow's Naga ancestors were giving terror to the mortal human populace. Doing what they pleased in torturing and abusing humans within their territory. This angered Manasa. Naga were not supposed to be giving humans such grief.

In retribution, Manasa cursed this Naga clan. Cursed them with each suffering their own personal hell and anguish, just as they had caused the humans. For millennia, these Naga and their descendants have each suffered from a curse of their own personal torment, the only salve being that each generation got a more diluted form of the curse... that is until Krow came along.

For whatever reason, genetics just... played out differently and he got a bit more of the Naga bloodline and their traits, and also got a bit more of the curse. What is Krow's own "personal torment"? Well... family is the most important aspect to him. Essentially, he is doomed to never... really a happy family, or a happy life with family.

There hasn't been a way to break the curse, but there have been ways of mitigating it and managing it. If Krow was not taken from his bio parents, he would have grown up learning of his heritage and how to manage. But because he wasn't...

The curse essentially manifests primarily as extreme jealousy, clinging onto those he loves, or pushing away others (sometimes violently). This also explains some of his other traits (getting cold easily, a bit more strength, his teeth). Speaking of his teeth, Krow IS venomous. It's... a bit more diluted than it would be if he were a full Naga, but it's there all the same. His venom has a bit of an aphrodisiac effect on those affected by it. The more one is bitten, the more this takes effect. In essence, if Dove is one who likes being bitten by Krow, they will grow more and more comfortable in his presence unwittingly, writing off red flags and excusing some of his more problematic behaviors. ...Unfortunately though, it is still a venom. Get too much in your system, and it WILL kill you.

All of this to say, once Krow finds out all of this, that he's descended from a cursed Naga blood line and all these physical quirks, it would freak him out so badly that he would, yes, leave Dove in a desperate hope to protect them.

But yeah, that's the big secret I've been keeping hidden for the past couple years. I do have a hope to draw a "what if Krow was a full Naga" drawing at... some point.

I have been in discussion with some friends who are Indian and Bengali about all this. I tried to be as respectful about the culture as I could.

[pynkhues]

What do you mean when u say Lestat is a Milton’s Satan hero?

Ah! Okay! Going to try and keep this shorter than my Byronic Hero post, haha, but we’ll see how we go.

Before we start…

When we talk about Milton’s Satan as a character archetype, we’re talking about something that was originated in John Milton’s epic poem, Paradise Lost, which was published in 1667. This was before gothic literature was quote-unquote ‘invented’ (as I mentioned in my first Byronic Hero post, gothic literature is widely accepted to have begun with Horace Walpole’s 1764 novel, The Castle of Otranto – worth the read, even just for the bonkers prophecy-speaking skeletons and a character dying from a helmet falling on his head, haha), but had, and continues to have, an enormous impact on gothic literature and horror in general.

The poem is set across twelve ‘books’ (chapters, basically), and is effectively a re-telling of the Book of Genesis but with two narrative throughlines. One throughline is Adam and Eve who represent more conventional biblical heroes in the poem, and the other is Satan (also called Lucifer in the poem). We’ll talk more about them in a sec, but before we begin it’s important to note that Paradise Lost was never intended as a criticism of the church.

Milton was a religious man, which is a really important thing to note when we start talking about Paradise Lost, but he was also heavily influenced as a writer by King Charles I’s autocratic rule and the English Civil War which lasted from 1642-1651. I’m not going to get into the nitty gritty of all of that, but what’s important to note is that he wrote Paradise Lost in a really increased period of anti-authority sentiment in the UK and believed strongly in rebellion against authority, which feeds into how he invented his Satan.

Milton’s Satan in Paradise Lost

Lucifer’s arc in Paradise Lost is a relatively straight forward one. He begins as God’s favourite angel but his pride and his vanity gets the better of him as God starts to invent (and favour) earth and mankind, and he comes to resent God’s authority over the kingdom of heaven. He believes he deserves to be loved as God is, so he leads a rebellion against God, only to lose, and he and the rest of the fallen angels, get cast out of Heaven and into Hell.

Out of spite, Lucifer decides to make Hell his own, with the iconic line “Better to reign in Hell, then serve in Heav’n” and to set his sights on corrupting God’s new favourite thing – Mankind (at this point, just Adam and Eve) – and he’s ultimately pretty darn successful. I’m not going to talk too much about the specific ways that he does that, but it’s basically a mix of deception and sowing seeds of lust, and the end result is that humanity’s corrupted, and God further punishes Satan by turning him and the other fallen angels into snakes.

The devil had been depicted a few times in literature and poetry before this time –most notably in Dante’s Inferno – but these depictions of the devil were always monstrous. Dante’s Satan is a three-mouthed beast keeping his sinner’s constantly in pain, trapped in Hell himself instead of reigning over it, and this is where Milton’s Satan hit the streets and changed character archetypes for good.

Because Milton’s Satan was hot.

Sure, he was evil, proud, vain, impulsive and did terrible things, but he was also charismatic, beautiful, graceful, funny, with all the best lines in the poem. He was “a lonely rebel…[and] an appealing, sympathetic deviant.”

And – I can’t stress this enough – nobody had ever done that before in Western writing.  “[Milton] transformed the way evil was depicted in Western texts and cultural imagery,” and also created the hero-villain archetype, something we now often refer to as an antihero.

On top of that though, Milton’s Satan was deceptive (literally a shapeshifter!), impulsive, had an incestuous family, and made sex sinful by making it lustful (Milton’s thesis over and over in his writing is that sex is great as long as nobody feels lust lol). He was also a loser, haha – he lost every battle he fought, and is in some ways regarded as a caricature of the epic odyssey hero, but look, I’m not going to get into all of that here.

Milton’s Satan is a tragic struggle between the entirely villainous and the entirely heroic.

Let’s just grab a quote from the excellent paper Miltonic Influences in Gothic Victorian Literature:

“As a rejected, troubled child of God, Satan decides to forcefully take what he thinks he should have by birthright. When he does not succeed, he decides to corrupt God’s new children…Satan is narcissistic, vain, proud and jealous. However, he is also remorseful and aware of the wrongness of his actions. He alone thinks he cannot be pardoned for the sins he commits so he forcefully pushes forward in his need for revenge. At the same time, Satan shows disturbingly human characteristics, but also inexplicable immorality. Just when one thinks one can reach a humane reason for Satan’s behaviour, one is left baffled by how evil he actually is.”

The important thing to remember about your Milton’s Satan archetype is that he was not just invented as a means of Milton’s grappling with autocracy and anti-authority sentiment, he was also really Milton’s way of grappling with humanity.

He leaves Adam and Eve as the Biblical heroes of the story, which makes them hard to engage with. What Milton wanted with Satan was to lean into the fallen angel element of him and show him as a character with the capacity for both good and evil, and the tendency to choose evil, thus making him both ultimately tragic, but also more human than the human characters. He was a way for Milton to explore what he felt were his own sins and moral failings, and in the process of that, became a way for readers to explore that too.

Evolution of Milton’s Satan

Milton’s Satan as an archetype has grown a lot over the years since his invention. Even by the time gothic literature started being ‘officially’ written a century later, the character archetype really existed on a spectrum, with some Milton’s Satan’s such as Ambrosio in Matthew Gregory Lewis’ 1796 novel, The Monk leaning more villain than hero, and the Monster in Mary Shelley’s 1818 novel, Frankenstein, who’s cast out by his maker and not given the chance he needs in life to be good. The Monster lacks a lot of Milton’s Satan’s typical traits like pride and self-love, but he continues the archetype’s throughline of being a cast out child who out of loneliness, becomes vengeful against the authority that rejected him and ultimately depraved/

Like I said, this archetype underpins all antiheroes today, and there’s a lot of writing about characters as wide-ranging as Hannibal Lector to Batman as being owing to Milton’s Satan, so there’s heaps out there to read if you’re interested, but yes! Let’s talk a little about Lestat.

Lestat as Milton’s Satan

Trying to keep this short(ish, anyway, haha): I really do think Lestat is born out of this archetype. Lestat’s an anti-authority character – an enormous part of which stems from his father’s autocratic and abusive reign of the household, and the feeling of abandonment by God when his father pulled him out of the church where he’d learn to be a priest only to continue his abuse. Lestat in that sense also faces rejection from three ‘God’s’ / makers not just one one – his spiritual God, his biological father, and later Magnus as his vampiric maker.

Interestingly too, Miltonic Satan’s remain heavily tied to their maker’s even after their rejection. In that paper above on Miltonic Influences in Gothic Victorian Literature, they note:

“The Satanic hero or the hero-villain is a dark, troubled and mysterious individual. He is shaped by life experiences and traits which he inherits from his maker.”

Something the show has reminded us a few times now. Lestat’s grounding in trauma and abandonment is steeped in the Miltonic trope of rejection by authority leading to rejection of authority, but even beyond that, Milton’s Satan is impulsive, morally weak, self-centered, proud, vain, lonely, beautiful but also, vitally, has a capacity for real good and an ability to love (and, more often, lust, haha). He’s a hero-villain that ultimately draws the viewer in because he’s exceptionally human in his monstrousness, and that is what is at the heart of the Milton’s Satan archetype. He’s evil but he’s human in a way traditional villains were robbed of, and similarly, he’s good but he’s human in a way traditional heroes weren’t allow to be, and to me that is Lestat in a nutshell.

[4dkellysworld]

Slow down your mind

Most of us have been going around saying, "I am absolute awareness, I am emptiness, I am nothing, I am this and I am that." But when we get down to the nitty gritty, the first problem that confronts us, we become angry. So we're really not that at all and they're just dry words. But when you slow down the mind first, then a statement of truth will come to you automatically. And then you can make your confession, like I do every week. "I am not the body." "I am not the doer." "I am not the mind." "I am not any condition." "I am unconditioned pure awareness." "I am absolute reality." "I am ultimate oneness." "I am that I am." "I am Sat-chit-ananda." And it's not you making this confession. You're not doing it, it is your Self, that's making the confession. You do nothing, you've gotten yourself out of the way. The point I'm trying to make is, don't allow your ego to make you think that you're something you're not. Your ego mind is very powerful. It'll fool you all of the time. Be careful, always watch it. So remember, you do not have to make statements of truth at all. Why? They will come by themselves. All you have to do is to concern yourselves with slowing down the mind. And how do you do this, either through self-inquiry, observation, mindfulness, witnessing or self-surrender. Whatever way suits you. What happens when the mind slows down? Truth takes its place. When you learn to slow down your mind, the reality will rush in of its own accord because your true nature is reality. Your true nature is emptiness. Your true nature is pure awareness, pure intelligence. That's what you really are. You don't have to try to find it, you've got it. Simply let go of the other. To the extent your mind becomes quieter, to that extent does your reality become seen or felt and it's intuitive.

from Robert Adams satsang

[razorblade180]

As we've sort of seen how it happened with Weiss, how did Jaune end up falling for the girls in their respective aus? How long did it take for him to notice and for him to act on those feelings?

I should really find an efficient way to deep dive into my archives because I know for sure I have this written I. specific details Thank goodness I write things often enough to remember the fundamentals of my stories.

Rosebud- It’s probably the simplest. Ruby always had a crush in this AU. They started getting intimate with one another during their journey as RNJR; out of sense of comfort, stress, and growing affection. Ruby made the first move. They didn’t officially get together until sometime during V5 time frame at the inn. It was pretty much unspoken that they were going to love each other forever, and that only became more true when after Salem was beaten. At that point their love could really flourish. The silver eyed hero that saved the world at 17 was happily married at 19 and Jaune couldn’t be happier.

Lasting Embers is slightly more complicated but I’m not about to get nitty gritty in this specific post. Yang and Blake’s relationship got messy and tense after the revelation that was Adam being alive and the several run in that happened on the journey. After the break up, Yang was incredibly down and upset and it was mainly Jaune that helped get her through the funk. Eventually they got together but it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows. There were several fights and even a breakup that mainly stemmed from the tense journey and Yang’s emotional baggage. Jaune even briefly dated someone else who Yang believed was better for him and deeply cared about him. However, after what could be described as the most selfless act of a lifetime, the two of them were able to try again and it was wonderful. They continued to love each other and let down walls that eventually led to a marriage that remains vivid in everyone’s memory.

So for Knigtshade context, Jaune and Blake were actually pretty friendly during Beacon days. Nothing crazy happened but they had similar music tastes and quiet spots to think. Also one of the major differences in this universe is they managed to lock Salem behind a relic door for a few years in order to train properly and prep the world for the real fight. It was during this time. Like Lasting Embers, Blake and Yang got into some drama, but this was ten times worse. So bad that it rocked the entire group. Ruby ended up making the executive decision that when it came interaction between Menagerie and the nearest Anima area, it would be Jaune and Blake while Yang essentially worked with Ren and Nora. The constant back and forth as well as the problem solving Blake and Jaune had to do together for so long naturally led to them getting to know each other more and being there to listen. They both fell for each other slowly. Things were a little better with Yang for a while until she noticed the signs. Eventually marriage became a reality and so was a family. Things were never really the same which is a little disheartening. Nobody is hostile to anyone but little Lucas could only wonder why someone so important to his family always felt a little distant on the rare occasions they met.

[dreamties]

dreams - amanda young x gn! reader

a/n- no triggers !!! basically just like. fluff and awkward mutual crushes. also written in like an hour with no edits so um !!!! plz enjoy this completely unplanned piece <33333

mentions of adam !!! word count: 823

amanda wakes in a startled mess, her anxiety sweat pooling at the dips in her skin and staining her shirt and sheets. she feels unbearably hot and claustrophobic.

she knows that unless she's running a fever (which she knows this feeling and it's not the traditional sick- it's a sickness in her head), there is no possible way for her to be warm right now. her apartment is old and she gets a discount on rent from how decrepit most amenities are.

so it's mid-october and her heater is busted- but she still feels hot and sick amidst the frigid air.

she heaves herself off the bed, leaving the sheets sticking to her skin behind. she sorts through a pile of semi-clean clothes. amanda would like to get a kickstart on her day- she knows, at this rate, she won't be able to fall asleep again.

she rinses her hair in the kitchen sink. spends a minute scrubbing at the subtly indented scars on her cheek.

she dresses in a hurry, though she has no place to go, no place urgent at least.

amanda walks six blocks to her favorite cafe, huddled in a jacket that no longer zips up.

no respectable shop should be open this early. or this late. from past experiences she knows it will be open though. the only shop aside from 24-hour markets and the occasional gas station open at this hour, in this neighborhood.

an annoying, zingy bell sounds as she enters and sits down at her favorite booth. the person working, y/n, has never bothered her about ordering something. they always let her watch or idly write on napkins or draw on her skin- anything to keep her from going back to her apartment.

y/n is not behind the counter right now. which is unusual. they usually do- well, amanda's not actually sure what they do. she hasn't been stalking them, after all, just observing. she has yet to figure out all the nitty gritty details of their job.

she recognizes, with a delighted and gentle smile, that they're decorating the interior for autumn. paper leaves strung together. doodles on the chalkboard menu. cutouts of pumpkins placed throughout the display boxes.

they hum to themselves as they work. amanda finds it soothing. she always does. because y/n always seems so endearingly lost in their own bubble- amanda feels something that sounds like envy but feels much softer.

she tracks her eyes with their movements, lulling her into a calm.

amanda does not mean to fall asleep. she is exhausted and the cafe is so warm and light compared to her residence. it's too easy when she does.

she doesn't fight back like she thinks she will. she recognizes she's dozing off too late for her mind to react.

it's the season-appropriate interior. the humming. a distinct beep from someone brewing coffee. increased foot traffic through the entryway. the dimmed yellow-y lights. the scent of perfectly spiced chai.

a clink of a ceramic mug on the tabletop stirs her. she doesn't feel ill this time, as she allows her body time to adjust before moving. before getting out of bed. she absently scratches the side of her neck.

"oh, geez," comes a whisper. "i didn't wake you, did i?"

amanda's eyes widen. she sits up more professionally, keeping her hands clasped in her lap.

"no," she replies. "it's fine."

y/n smiles at her. sparks flicker in amanda's heart- their expression feeling so personal and directional. they're not simply smiling; they are smiling at her. she feels close to melting- better than melting.

"good, good. i hope you like your drink, amanda."

they freeze. readjust their apron and looks at her concerned, embarrassed, too.

"it, um- it is amanda, right?"

she nods her head. the scene unfolding feeling so dreamlike. it's intoxicating.

"i- i see you in here all the time. i got your name from my coworker. that sounds-" they fluster. "his name is adam."

amanda lets herself react as y/n reacts. she chuckles. "yeah. he's- it's complicated."

they laugh. "oh, god, i bet! what isn't complicated with him?"

they're leaning against the headrest on the side of the booth opposite to her. it feels like friends reuniting. it's more than reconnection, whatever she is actually experiencing.

it's magical, though.

"oh, um-" they tap at their nametag, letters drawn with their own expertise. "y/n. i'm y/n. wait- shit, you've already known that."

amanda finds their humble fumbling endearing.

(y/n wants to say- "it's not every day i get to chat with my prettiest customer"- they feel too shy to even think of forming the letters in their mouth)

(amanda wants to tell them they have the sweetest voice she's ever heard. she thinks that might be overbearing and acts against her desires)

"we should- when you come back again, you should say hi to me before it gets busy."

[gurugirl]

Tales From the Modern Incubus | Part 19*

Summary: You make a pact (but convincing Adam takes a little more effort) and a ceremony is held in your honor. Harry has an admirer and you make sure to show her who he really belongs to more than once and Harry loves seeing you jealous. Harry is finally getting what he's wanted all along.

A/n: Remember, this is demon/incubus!Harry, so there may be some triggering topics. Please read all warnings in the TFMI Masterlist before continuing. Also! I describe a dress that y/n wears in a ceremony scene. It's based on the fit and style of this - but in my version, it's got black lace all over and is sheer at the top (if you're curious about the vision I had). 10.1k words

Warning: SPOILERS AHEAD SMUT (including anal), exhibitionism (a naughty public display), jealousy, use of a knife, a ritual that includes cutting skin, mentions of blood, incantations, a witch makes an appearance, "satanic" things, mentions of religion and god, mentions of drug and alcohol use

Character List

You didn’t start to feel normal again until the following day. Everything was a bit cloudy and strange for you. You had just started getting used to your new awareness and abilities and now you were suddenly feeling the loss of them. Being in a different realm for the first time was like that, you were told.

You and Harry stayed in Pandemonium to wait for more information about the details of Satan’s proposal. And then you’d go back to Earth’s realm when the time was right. Now that your real parents were being dealt with you had a lot less to worry about so you could move about more freely. Except that now you and Harry had just accepted the offer Satan had proposed. But before you could get to the nitty-gritty of that, you needed Adam to agree as well. That was part of the deal. If Adam didn’t agree the deal was off and Harry would need to find a mortal to knock up.

You and Harry sat across from Aim and Adam. Adam was still in a bit of a haze (as it was his first time in the lower realm) but he seemed to understand what was being asked of him. Sort of.

“What? You want me to join you and work for Satan. To pledge my allegiance to him? But why? I just don’t see how we can be of any use to him,” his face was set in confusion.

Aim spoke up, “It’s a bigger deal than you think, Adam. First of all, a hybrid with angelic abilities on Satan’s side? It’ll piss The Almighty off if he finds out. He’s the creator here and he thinks everyone will automatically want to claim allegiance to him. Satan likes throwing wrenches into his plan when he can and this is just a way to do that. It’s unlikely that Satan is going to have you really do any work for him,” Aim turned to look at you and then Harry, “well, he might, but mostly he just wants to piss God off with this. It's more about appearances than anything.”

Adam sat for a moment to ponder the idea. It was all still new to him. Everything was new to him, but just like you, the understanding of the truth about what he really was came quickly once his eyes were opened to it.

“But what if one day God asks me to be on his side? Will this cause some kind of struggle or will I be cast out or punished?” It was a good question. One you asked yesterday.

Harry nodded, “It won’t be like a war or anything but it could cause some issues between you and God later on. And any of God’s followers or loyal workers. But the truth is that he may never find out. At least not right away. It’s not so bad being on Satan’s side. Really. Look at me!” He put his arms out with a grin.

Adam frowned, “I don’t know. It sounds very risky. And God is the good guy, right? Like, we’re supposed to follow him? I don’t know. I was never a Christian or anything when I thought I was mortal so I may be getting it all wrong but now I’m forced to believe in all this and it sounds like I’m stepping into a trap.”

Harry and Aim both sighed and looked at one another before Aim took the floor, “God isn’t better or worse than Satan or Lucifer. Well, he might actually be worse. He’s not a nice being if that’s what you’re wondering. It’s not like good versus evil in the sense that humans talk about. It’s more like, powerful creator versus powerful outcasts.”

Adam nodded pensively, “And we’re the outcasts?”

Aim continued, “Sort of. God created the angels who defied him and even despite the fact that he made them to do certain things and act certain ways, their natural tendencies were used against them and they were cast out from heaven to figure out life on their own. The earthly realm was long a place for lost souls and angels until Satan and Lucifer joined with Eve, who we know as your mother, Lilith,” Aim kept his eyes on Adam, “and Hell was claimed as theirs and taken from God. So they ruled in Hell and from there procreated and made more angels, or demons, it’s all the same. The Bible doesn’t paint an accurate picture of reality because it was written by humans who don’t have the knowledge to speak on such things.”

Adam asked a few more questions and then stood from his chair and walked around the room in thought. You could hear Harry’s mind churning. And Adam’s. Adam was aware of why he was being asked to join the “dark side”. He knew you and Harry didn’t want to involve a human female in his duty to continue the lineage of incubus.

“Okay. I’m in. I’ll pledge my loyalty to Satan,” Adam finally relented as he shrugged his shoulders, and Harry jumped up from his seat with a grin and pointed at the handsome hybrid, “Fucking good man! This is good. You won’t regret it!”

And Harry was in such a good mood because now he could do what he’d set out to do when he originally sniffed you out. He couldn’t wait to have you pregnant with his heir. It wasn’t something he cared much about before you. He’d gotten plenty of women pregnant over the many years he’d roamed the earth, but with you it was different. You were even more powerful than he was and the bond between you two meant that this time the heir would be more powerful than ever. He didn’t know what it could bring but he envisioned that with you in the picture his status might be elevated and perhaps he’d have some notoriety gained. But mostly it was just because it was you.

Aim met with Satan separately to let him know about Adam’s decision. You, Harry, and Adam went to one of the most popular gastropubs in Pandemonium (what? Of course Hell is going to have a gastropub). You noticed how happy and upbeat Harry was. You knew why, but it was still funny to see him in such a good mood after everything. It was amazing what could happen in only a day.

“You two are going to love this place. They have amazing fish and chips. And drinks!” Harry held the door open for you and Adam as you passed through into The Abyss. The three of you sat at a table near a stage where live music was playing. It really didn’t feel like you were in Hell. This was quite posh, and it felt… normal even.

A beautiful woman approached your table and took your order for drinks. She knew Harry which shouldn’t have been much of a surprise, but when she openly flirted with him and ran her finger over his bicep right in front of you there was a heat that flitted out from your pores. You watched the woman with her pretty smile bend down and whisper into his ear, which you could actually hear thanks to your incredible senses, “Want to come over tonight? I’ve missed you, H. Seems like I haven’t seen you in so long…”

Harry quickly knocked his head toward you as he shook his head at the woman, “Oh, uh, no. Actually, this is my girlfriend, here. That’s why you haven’t seen me, been busy…” he smiled at the woman and then turned to look at you sheepishly. You weren’t returning the smile. Had Harry slept with all the kingdom of Hell? Did everyone know what he was like in the sack? He was a slut by nature but come on.

The woman stood up and appeared casual and calm, “Oh. I see. Lovely. Well,” she turned to look at Adam, “are you free tonight?” Her question was mostly in jest and as a way to save face.

Adam raised his brows and shook his head, “I’m gay, dear. Sorry.”

When she left the table with your order you kept your eyes on Harry, and you could hear him loud and clear. He looked at you with apologetic eyes and spoke quietly, “I didn’t know that she was going to serve us. But you know there’s no competition, right? Come on, little lemon love,” Harry tried to calm you by using the silly name he’d given you and you knew he was right. There wasn’t anything to worry about. But you did sense how he was pleased by being hit on right away. He liked her attention on him. Harry’s need for attention and to be favored was probably not something he’d ever get over. He was the definition of an attention whore. He loved being loved and admired.

It turned out, the drink you ordered was absolutely divine. You and Adam had never tasted such good food or drinks before. It was like everything was so perfect to your pallet that you were both moaning and gushing over how good everything tasted.

When the pretty waitress came by after you were stuffed with food and drink, she sat a dessert down on the table with a wide grin, “Your favorite, H. It was nice to see you again.”

You didn’t like the woman. You assumed once she realized he was taken she’d give up but the last little thing with the dessert for Harry had you nearly boiling. You had finally cooled off a bit when you tasted the food and she seemed to back off, but now? And you could read her mind. She wanted to try one last thing to get his attention back on her but before she could make another move you had your own idea.

You dipped your finger into the middle of the dessert as you looked at the woman, and then shoved a scoop of it into your mouth (it was heavenly), “Mmmm…” you moaned and Harry watched as you got up from your seat and grabbed the dessert, sitting in Harry’s lap. You scooped up a little more and put your finger into his mouth, “Tastes so good, doesn’t it Harry?”

Harry knew what you were doing, and he couldn’t say he didn’t like how jealous you’d gotten. He nodded and moaned around your finger. You plucked your finger out of his mouth, sat the dessert plate back onto the table, and then leaned in to kiss him. You put your fingers into his hair and his hands immediately found your bottom and you smiled at that.

To your surprise, the woman stood and watched as you kissed Harry (for only a handful of seconds) in his lap. When you broke from the kiss you spoke, loudly enough for her to hear, “Let’s go back to our room. Want to show you what tastes even better than this.”

Of course, you were just putting on a show and you hadn’t actually intended on getting Harry back to Satan’s palace where you were staying in one of the dozens of rooms. But Harry wasn’t going to pass up your offer, even if it was fake.

He scooted you off his lap and waved at Adam, “Uh… we’re going now,” he spoke and pulled you out of the pub a lot faster than you anticipated. Leaving the dessert behind on the table with Adam.

You and Harry were able to move through the distance to the palace very quickly. He held onto you and navigated you through the space and into the palace and to your room. You were still getting used to the way you could practically glide through space and get places much faster. It was certainly a very useful ability.

It was also of note that the atmosphere in Hell was similar to that of Earth but quite different at the same time. You wouldn’t say it was hotter. Dryer for sure. The sky was gray at all times, like a bright gray with a backlight but no direct source of illumination could be seen. There didn’t seem to be a setting or rising sun, but night never came either. There were stars and moons and planets visible in the sky. No clouds. You weren’t sure if it did get cloudy, or if there were seasons, or storms, or anything that you’d experienced on Earth. You just knew that by looking at the sky you were in a different place. Oxygen seemed abundant like on Earth, but the light and the lack of humidity were quite different.

When you arrived at your room you could smell his need. You two didn’t have sex the night before because you were feeling strange and the loss of your senses threw you for a loop. But now, Harry was ready and he knew you were back to feeling your abilities again.

“Harry, you know I was just trying to get her to stop hitting on you…” your words were cut off when Harry cupped your face in his hands and smashed his lips over yours. You slowly brought your hands up around his back and allowed him to take over your senses. Harry was like walking sex. Even last night, when you weren’t feeling so well, you did consider having sex with him anyway, but Harry insisted that you sleep so you could feel back to yourself. Back to normal. And if you ever needed proof that Harry loved you, well that was it. An incubus saying no to sex? Unheard of. But now you were feeling good and normal again. Which meant that you were feeling that bubbling desire for him.

And he was so ready to have at you again. He wanted to wait until there was word from Satan that the deal was accepted and then he’d get you pregnant. He would make it special and last all night. This was something more immediate. A need to show you his appreciation. To show you there wasn’t anyone else on his mind. As much as he enjoyed the way people fawned over him, he only had eyes for you.

“Are you gonna give me your babies, Harry?” You moaned as you pulled your shirt off over your head and Harry removed his shirt as he watched you expose yourself to him.

He shook his head when he grasped the back of your neck and pulled you close to him, “Not tonight. Want it to be so special. So perfect. Gonna take my time with you when I release my seed into you and make you a mom. Right now, I just need to feel you. Need you so bad…” he slowly lowered his mouth to yours.

Your lips slotted into his when he lifted you up and carried you to the large bed that was in the middle of the room.

Satan’s palace was ridiculous. The style was gothic and dark and sultry. It was kind of exactly like you’d imagine Satan’s palace to look like. All the clichéd dark onyx and red velvets, shiny black walnut wood details, dark marble and stone, granite banisters with intricate detailed carvings and figures of dark winged creatures and tortured souls in paintings on walls, carved in stone, designed into the floor… The room you were in had wide plank dark wood floors, almost black, with a thick blood red wool rug that covered most of the space. The bed was massive with soft dark red blankets, black pillow accents, a dark stone carved headboard that had gold carvings and designs all over, and what looked like horns at either side. The fireplace was directly across from the room with dark marble and gold veining that went all the way to the ceiling. The chandelier over the bed was black and gold. Thick dark red velvet curtains with black and gold designs covered the windows. It was beautiful, actually.

Harry had your pants off and dragged his own down his legs, revealing that lovely cock you had become obsessed with.

“Need to taste…” he spoke in a dark whisper as he lowered his mouth to your center. His eyes were black and his fingers pinched into your skin as he held you down and his tongue got to work on you.

Harry had you spread out on the bed as he brought you to your first orgasm with his mouth. But you missed having something inside of you. That was your favorite, getting filled to the brim with him.

“Oh?” Harry looked down at you from his spot over you when he heard your thoughts, “You’re desperate for my prick, then? Need to be stuffed with me, Y/n?” Harry’s dark smile was playful and you laughed as you pushed him.

“I need to be stuffed and fucked, Harry. All my holes need you…” you sat up and pushed him down, flat to his back as you crawled over him.

You took him down your throat and when you heard him whimpering you smiled over his cock and hummed with your dark eyes on his. You loved making him a bumbling mess.

“Fuck… I love you so much. Oh shit…” Harry gasped as he watched you suck and stroke him.

You knew he loved you. You knew he was yours. You pulled off his tip and continued using your hands over him, “No one can do it like this, Harry. Only me…” you spoke as you kissed his tip and went back down over him, making sure to keep your eyes on his.

He parted his pink lips and hissed when you reached down to grasp his balls. You sucked him slowly and rolled his sack in your hand and then lowered down until your nose was stuffed into the thatch of hair at his base. Harry gurgled a moan with a smile and put his hands into your hair, holding you in place so he could feel the back of your throat.

You always imagined that giving head was going to be a lot of hard work. You’d heard about it; you’d seen the videos of women gagging and coughing and choking. But you had no problem at all taking Harry’s large incubus cock down your throat. It’s like you were made for it. But then again, you were half demon, half angel, so your abilities extended beyond what a human could offer.

Harry began shaking and whining and panting, just like you wanted. You sort of wish that cute waitress could see how you did it. Could see the way you made Harry come so fast and so hard. If she could only see how much he loved your mouth then maybe she’d realize she had no chance.

Harry looked down at you and pulled your hair to lift you a bit, “Fuck… you want me to get her in here to watch?” He was dead serious. He’d heard your thoughts and he liked where your mind was going.

You squinted at him and shook your head, “You’d like that. Wouldn’t you? Like it when people watch you and get turned on by you? You’re my little whore, Harry,” you leaned down and nipped at his thigh and looked up at him then bit down harder. Harry closed his eyes and threw his head back. You removed your hands from his cock and his scrotum and began licking all around his groin and the inner part of his thighs. Harry’s cock was twitching and throbbing. Pre-come was beading from his slit and dripping down over his pretty frenulum.

You pushed his legs back and brushed your lips on his bottom near his balls and then did it on the other side before biting down and he began babbling your name and expletives in between.

When you lifted your face from between his legs you slowly, gently, softly grazed your finger up from his perineum, over his scrotum, up the underside of his long shaft, and to his tip and he came with a loud moan. You smiled as you watched come shoot from his slit at the tip and coat his shaft and his torso up to his butterfly tattoo. He was gasping and rutting his hips up into nothing as you just sat back and watched, “See? My little whore. I can make you come by just touching you with one finger. Is that what you wanted her to see? How good I do it and how little effort I need to put in to make you a mess with come all over yourself.”

Harry caught his breath and looked down at you with a grin, “Sure. I think it would be hot actually. She’d probably love to see me all messy and coming from just a touch. Then she’d know you’re the only one for me.”

You laughed. He had no shame whatsoever.

Harry sat up and grabbed you by the front of your throat and licked into your mouth. You were pulled up to your knees as Harry moved you to straddle him, “Now we’ve got two more holes to take care of. Pussy first,” he whispered as he centered his tip to your entrance.

When he pulled you down over him it was a snapping pinch that made you gasp with wide eyes and Harry grinned, “Hold on to me my love.”

You grasped onto Harry’s shoulders and he began to fuck into you hard. His balls slapped into your bottom and your hole was being ravaged by his large dick. You had no words at the moment as your body and soul parted. Harry gave you no mercy as he pounded away into you. His strength was astounding. There was no way any mortal could fuck you from the bottom like this. Your sight became hazy and your ears began to buzz and ring. The pain from the way he was impaling you spurred you on and you were sure you were shouting and yelping and making a ruckus but your senses were focused on the way your orgasm was melting down over you, from the top of your head and over your shoulders, down your spine and bursting out over Harry.

You heard him laugh when you wet him and the bed below. He pulled out and watched your pussy spray little gushes over his thighs as you shivered and reached down to rub your clit because you needed the friction. Harry pushed you down and put his mouth over your cunt and drank you up. Your orgasm liquified your brain and your body was only responding to how Harry played it. He was a master at making you come and squirt and quiver.

But then before you were totally aware, he pulled you back into his lap and plunged into your bottom, your sphincter hole stretching around his big cock and you were a goner. You both were. Harry loved fucking your ass and anal was a new favorite thing (well, technically everything was new to you). It made you feel even closer to him somehow. Your souls had already merged but anal was like the binding around it all. Which absolutely sounds insane to you when you’re not getting fucked in the ass, but every time he entered you from behind the way it felt was indescribable.

“Let’s get Miguel in here and the girl so they can both watch… see how we make each other come,” Harry's cock was disappearing into your hole and you were grunting at each thrust as you nodded.

“Yeah. Show them both how it’s done. No one does it like you, Harry…” you felt your insides quivering when you looked into Harry’s eyes.

You both watched one another as you fucked. Sweat formed under your thighs that were pressed over the top of Harry’s. You leaned in and bit his lip and then backed away only to have him smack your bottom hard and you gasped with a smile.

“That’s right, baby… Miguel wouldn’t know what to do with his virgin ass watching you get fucked by a demon in the ass.”

You were both so close, you were moaning together and sliding him in and out, your wet pussy was throbbing around nothing as your other hole was getting stuffed when you heard a knock at the door and turned to watch it swing open at that moment.

It was Adam and Aim. They both casually walked in and closed the door behind them and you looked at Harry with your mouth still dropped open and heavy breaths falling from your mouth.

“Kind of in the middle of something here, guys…” Harry groaned but kept himself buried inside of you, his knees bent slightly.

Adam crossed his arms over his chest and laughed, “It’s nothing I haven’t seen before.”

Aim scrunched his brows together and looked at Adam and then toward you and Harry, “We have important news. Could you cover yourselves, please?” Aim turned away. But Adam kept his eyes on you and Harry.

Harry held you to his body and pulled the blanket over your lower half to hide from Aim at his request. Not that Harry cared much if anyone saw. And you were sort of okay with it yourself. After having Adam watch you and Harry and knowing people could hear you, well, it was a turn-on. Who were you even?

Aim walked toward the fireplace and pulled at his collar in discomfort, “Satan has agreed to have you on his side now that Adam is in. He’ll expect you to report to him when he needs. Harry, your duties don’t change and he said he wants to hear back next week with your progress update, which I think we can see is going well…” Aim cleared his throat and looked at Adam, “Adam, I have some associates I’d like you to meet, and when you two are done here,” Aim gestured at you and Harry but did not turn to look, “Y/n, please come find me so we can get some paperwork done and go over ground rules, which I’ve already completed with Adam.”

You shifted and Harry squeezed your bottom under the covers, “Yeah… Okay. Uh… I’ll find you,” you responded, still breathless.

“Okay. Good. I’ll see you later,” Aim hurried toward the door and Adam followed behind, not as in a rush as Aim was. Before Adam closed the door he looked back in and winked at you and Harry.

Harry laughed and jerked his hips upward, the tip of cock reaching deeper yet and you moaned, “Fuck me, Harry.” And so he did.

You and Harry lay on the bed for a bit in recovery from the activity. You felt him get up and watched as he moved off the bed and opened the door to the massive walk-in closet before coming back onto the bed with you. He held up a joint and lighter and put his back against the pillows and lighted it up, inhaling a big breath of the smoke into his lungs.

You sat up and watched him, “Can I try?”

Harry nodded and handed you the rolled-up, lit joint. You repeated what you saw Harry do, placing the end between your lips and you inhaled. You quickly pulled the joint out and coughed and hacked, bending forward as you held the joint up, the stinky smell permeating around you. Harry took it from your fingers and you continued coughing a bit.

“You okay, sweet girl?” Harry chuckled as he rubbed your back.

You looked at him and nodded, “Need water.”

And that was your first experience trying weed. The water cooled your throat and a few minutes later you felt the tiny buzz and relaxation weed was supposed to give.

You and Harry lay naked on the bed and you tried a few more puffs until you got used to the way it felt in your throat, not inhaling so aggressively the next few times.

You laughed, “I’m such a sinful creature now. Thanks to you.”

Harry nudged you and smiled, “Nah. No such thing. You’re just a being doing exactly what you are meant to do. Everything you do is part of your path. God made the cannabis plant. Humans deemed it sinful. Humans say a lot of shit is sinful when it’s not really.”

You had come to this realization slowly. It was still hard to wrap your mind around all that you’d learned, but you were starting to embrace it all.

When you got dressed you and Harry found Aim and you signed your contract after he explained your new role. And there was an additional document as well. One that would bind you and your child (to-be) to Satan and his work. It hadn’t been part of the original verbal agreement so you hesitated to sign it.

“This wasn’t part of the request. Why am I signing this now?” You pointed at the document and looked toward Harry and then Aim.

Aim sighed, “I know, but this was sort of just understood as part of the agreement. Since you’ll be giving birth to Harry’s heir, this is protocol. All of his heirs are promised to Satan. It’s part of the deal Harry was born into. So, if you don’t agree then the whole thing is off.”

So you signed it. What else were you going to do? It made sense that this was already part of the plan, grandfathered in so-to-speak, based on Harry’s status. But you were caught off guard a little. Though, you couldn’t see the harm.

The contracts were placed in a book and locked away and then there were just a couple more things Aim needed before you were free to go.

Along with signing your life over to Satan, you had agreed to give him a sample of your blood, and a lock of your hair, and you’d receive his mark. The mark of the beast. The mark is actually just a small chip that was to be implanted in your wrist for the purpose of buying things and making any kind of financial transaction. And it was also a symbol of your loyalty to the Dark Lord. But it wasn’t like it was some evil thing that you were always warned about. Even God did this with his loyal followers only it’s called the Seal of God and it does the exact same thing the Mark of the Beast does. It gives the ability for angels and spirits to make financial transactions in Heaven and is a symbol of their devotion to The Almighty.

An old woman, a witch you learned, came into the room and drew your blood and cut a chunk of your hair out. She sealed the vial of blood and your hair into a small wooden box with carvings and your name engraved on a gold plate at the top. She never spoke a word to you or Harry.

She pointed to your wrist with a knife she held in her hand and a small metal object in her other. You flipped your wrist upward and she held onto your forearm, speaking some kind of incantation over the knife, which she had pressed the flat part of the blade over her heart. She snapped her fingers and pointed the tip of the knife to the flesh on the underside of your wrist before pushing the blade into your skin. It was only a small slice but you hadn’t expected it.

You winced as she removed the blade and held the knife up toward your face and she stuck out her tongue. You stuck your tongue out, following what you assumed was her direction and she placed the blade over your tongue and you tasted your blood. She whispered words you were unable to understand and you felt Harry’s hand holding your free one.

She sat the knife down and the small metal object she held was suddenly shining and bright as if it were alive. She inserted it under your skin where she’d cut you open.

Pressing your wound down with her thumb and continued her strange whispers and closed her eyes, tilting her head back to face up toward the ceiling. Her whispers turned into a peculiar chant, maybe not even words.

You felt your wrist burn and the heat traveled up your arm and it drew tears from your eyes. The burn turned into an ache, and then a sharp pain traveled over your spine and you gasped as you tried to hold it together. Harry squeezed your hand and you heard him tell you it was going to be okay and you knew it would but it hurt.

When the witch released your arm the pain was gone and the small slice in your skin healed completely. You flipped your arm over and inspected your skin but it looked as if nothing had happened.

The old woman stood up and took the knife and box with her as she left the room in silence.

You were stunned. You hadn’t expected this. You looked at Harry and then the door opened up. Aim entered with a smile, “You’re one of us now. Congratulations, Y/n.”

It felt surreal. You were now Satan’s follower. This was not something you ever imagined in your wildest dreams. You lifted your wrist up again at to look at and touch the skin but it was like there was nothing.

Adam and Sam followed in the door behind Aim. Adam looked a little out of sorts but he had a smile on his face. You assumed he’d gone through the same ritual you’d just experienced.

“Tonight, we will party and celebrate our new members,” Aim said with a laugh, “This won’t be like any party you’ve ever gone to so prepare yourself and keep an open mind.”

Harry tried to prep you for what was to come. You had a dress waiting for you in the room. Black silk and lace. Black stilettos and gold jewelry with rubies rounded out the outfit.

The dress had long sleeves and the front neckline plunged so far down it almost met your belly button. There were two high slits at the front skirt of the dress so that when you stepped forward, it showed your leg up to your hip. It was the sexiest thing you’d ever put on. The lace along the front was sheer and there was no wearing a bra underneath. Your breasts were visible under the material though the material’s pattern covered very specific areas around your nipple, it was still noticeable. The lace continued down through the skirt of the dress but the bottom had silk under so you were at least partially covered.

Harry kept begging you for another round before you could leave the room but you were full of nerves and knowing the little you did about what was to come, there was no way you’d be wanting to have a quickie until everything was over.

The party was going to be an orientation of sorts. A celebration for the newcomers but since you and Adam were hybrids it was a big deal. There were other hybrids in the kingdom, but you and Adam were heirs of high beings. Your pedigree proceeded you.

And you learned that some of the guests might not be so fond of you. Most would welcome you and Adam but some were going to be more difficult to convince. The fact was that with Lilith and Asmodeus in trouble, it caused a bit of a stir. Many were fond of them but now you and Adam had come into the picture and it left a big question mark for some. There were rumors flying about what had really happened. A lot of theories were being thrown around, which was getting mixed with opinions, and biases. And some of the beings weren’t so sure you and Adam were actually innocent in everything. Especially when they learned that you’d be carrying the heir of an incubus. It was all very sudden and unexpected.

Harry warned you to ignore the whispers and the looks. He told you there would be a few that might make comments to get under your skin. But it all made you nervous.

As you and Harry walked into the massive ballroom it felt like all eyes were on you. Your dress was outstanding and you had to admit, you looked very very good.

One of the first guests to come greet you was Danny. You remembered him from when you and Harry were in hiding and he came to you in astral form.

In-person and up close, he was far more attractive than you realized. His eyes were light blue and his smile was cute. He held an air of all-knowing but it was tampered by a boyish charm that made him seem approachable. He lifted your arm and kissed the top of your hand as he bowed down, “Greetings to the beautiful guest of honor.”

He stood back up and looked at Harry, “Hello, handsome,” his smirk was cocky and not too unlike the smirk Harry often shared.

He led you and Harry to your table at the front where Adam, Sam, Aim, and another woman sat.

“Tomorrow, I’d like to see you both,” Danny looked from you to Adam, “for some training and one-on-one question and answer. It’s important to your status and it’ll be necessary for me to gage where you are in your journey of understanding your role and what you’re capable of.”

You looked at Harry and back to Danny with confusion. You weren’t sure if this was normal or not. Harry leaned toward you and spoke quietly, “It’s just part of the education for you. It’s protocol.”

You nodded and looked back at Danny and you gasped when you saw his form change. He was Harry’s doppelganger. You looked at Harry beside you and then back to Danny who was now back in his normal form. He laughed, “Sorry about that. I tend to take on the shape and appearance of the thing you desire the most. Who was I? Harry?” He looked at Harry and winked.

“He’s fucking with you. He transforms into whatever he wants and if he sees what you want he’ll shift into because he can,” Harry looked at Danny, “Don’t mess with her tomorrow. I don’t want any funny business while she’s meant to be learning.”

Danny left as you sat down at the table. You noticed right away how close Sam and Adam were sitting to one another and the way they were flirting. The woman next to Aim was gorgeous. You’d come to realize how beautiful celestial beings were. Demons, angels, and everything in between were alluring and sensual by nature.

The woman lifted her hand toward you, “I’m Aggie It’s an honor to meet you.”

You shook her hand with a smile and blinked your eyes. She was absolutely breathtaking and you felt Harry’s elbow push gently into your side when you’d been staring a little too long.

You laughed quietly, “It’s nice to meet you, Aggie. I’m Y/n.”

Aggie’s grin widened and her eyes were sparkly and entrancing, “Oh, my lovely girl, I know who you are. Aim has told me all about you and you’re the guest of honor tonight, along with Adam here,” she turned to look over at Adam. Adam smiled at you and Harry and then turned back to Sam.

And the more beings you met the more you understood the allure of these fellow members of the kingdom you were now part of. Everyone was smart and sexy and had something about them that drew you in.

Harry brought you around and introduced you to as many people as he could before the event was to start. You were handed a drink and whisked around the room and it felt a little bit like you were in the ballroom scene from the movie The Labyrinth only your dress was far more revealing and in black. Everything was so pretty and everyone was so pretty and ethereal. You felt dizzy with nerves and excitement and wonder. But then when you noticed a few dark eyes on you, some looks that were just the opposite of appreciation you started to feel your anxious nerves rise up into the smallest ball of fear. It was only the tiniest little edge of panic but you felt it and you knew they wouldn’t hurt you, but they also certainly wouldn’t be in support of you.

When you and Harry were seated again you looked to the front of the room where dark curtains were slowly pulled back and music that had been playing as background noise began to quieten. A tall, slender man walked to the center of the circle enclosure where the curtains were pulled back and lights showed behind him, illuminating two high-back chairs with black silky cushions and golden legs and arms.

“All who are here tonight, the damned, the delighted, the dead…” his voice bellowed and the crowd laughed, “please rise.”

Everyone stood up and faced the circle enclosure and you felt your heart rate increase at the drama of it all.

“Here to begin the festivities of the night, to welcome our newest members and fellow lost souls, is our Dark Lord and savior,” the music had changed to something choppy and exciting but dark as the volume slowly began to rise, “the one who leads us into temptation,” people began to cheer and clap, “the most feared enemy of our great enemy,” the music continued to increase, making the whole scene feel like a wild spectacle, “the Prince of Lies, the Angel of Disaster, our Prince of Power and Air…” the slender man flailed his arms as Satan appeared behind him with a light show cascading over his frame, “Satan!”

The whole room went crazy. Whistles and claps and shouts and whoops across the ballroom and the music was loud and dramatic. Satan was even taller than the tall slender man who introduced him. The man was gone in a flash as Satan walked toward the front of the enclosure and waved. You realized people had their heads down, eyes averted from him, yet they were still clapping and howling his praise.

Satan basked in the adulation and the smell of smoke and sulphur filled your senses. Slowly, the room calmed and people began to take their seats when Satan lowered his hands in a signal to the guests.

Harry pulled your hand into his and brought it up to his mouth and pecked the top of your knuckles. You felt immediately calmer.

“Tonight we have two special guests who have pledged loyalty to me and to our kingdom. We will greet them both with open arms. I know you’ve all heard a little about who we are celebrating tonight, and it’s true that they are both angel and demon, heirs of high demons and high angels. Their power is useful and we are grateful for their allegiance,” he walked toward the chairs, his heavy steps heard through the silent ballroom, and turned, gesturing his arms toward you and Adam, palms facing up, “Adam, Y/n… please stand up and come forward.”

Harry gave you one last quick squeeze before you were standing up and walking in step with Adam toward the Dark Lord. The table was near the front, close to the enclosure where Satan stood so you didn’t have to endure walking in your stilettos for too long before you were ascending the marble stairs toward where you were begin ushered.

Satan gestured toward the chairs for you and Adam to sit. You had a view of everyone in the room from your seat. The whole room was staring at you and Adam. Looking at every bit of you their eyes could see, making assumptions and conclusions about you based on your appearance and what they’d heard about you. It was empowering to you. Somehow, this made you feel like part of something special. You were nervous and felt vulnerable, but it felt like a place to belong.

Once again, the presence of Satan was so interminable and heavy you could almost taste it. You could feel his power every time you were near him. It was almost suffocating. Even the way he breathed sounded powerful.

He stood in between your chair and Adam’s and placed his hot hands on your shoulder and called on the Order of the Fly. A man, not much shorter or smaller in stature than Satan stepped to the side of the encirclement and then spoke, “Princes and dignitaries of the Order please come forward.”

Six men and one woman got up from their seats and approached the circle enclosure standing next to the man who called them up. They were each dressed in long black robes and carried a book in their hands.

“Ministers of the Office, Ambassadors, and Justices approach.”

Maybe two dozen men (you couldn’t tell how many) in charcoal robes came forward. No books to be seen. They all stood on the opposite side of the encirclement so that you, Satan, and Adam were surrounded by the court.

One of the men wearing a black robe and holding a book had a round face and red hair and began to speak, “I am Berith, Great Pontiff of Hell. I will be the mouthpiece for the Order tonight.”

And so it began. Berith spoke about the great responsibility and the great reward of serving as a devoted member for the kingdom of Hell under Satan and Lucifer. Berith apologized for Lucifer’s absence and made a joke about how he was sure everyone was surprised by the news that he wouldn’t be joining that evening (apparently it was known that Lucifer didn’t attend events that weren’t in his honor nor was he ever expected to be there – so Berith’s joke was confusing to you at first but Harry filled you in later).

The princes and dignitaries of the court each read a small line from the books they held. Once the seventh had read their passage a stringed instrument began playing and Satan walked to the front of the encirclement before the crowd, “Brothers and Sisters, let’s enjoy tonight and welcome our honorific guests with open arms!”

Everyone stood from their seats and clapped as the music got louder and the Order of the Fly stepped down from the circle and went back to their seats. You saw Harry at the table near the front and he smiled at you. It felt absolutely absurd. Exciting but certainly not real. It felt like a fever dream.

The curtains closed and you, Adam and Satan were now hidden from the room, backstage.

Satan put his hands out to you and Adam, “It’s time for you to enjoy the party. You may return to your seats.”

You grabbed onto his hand and it felt like it could burn you it was so hot. Just on the edge of being too hot but not enough that you’d singe. You got to your feet and Satan led you and Adam through the back and opened a door that led to the ballroom.

You and Adam looked at one another with the same expression – almost as if to ask the other did that really just happen?

Back at your table food was served along with more drinks. There was a stringed quartet playing music while you were enjoying the dinner. You became convinced that the food in Hell was better than it was on Earth. There was something very special about every bite you took and every sip you swallowed.

Harry kept his hand at your thigh when it wasn’t draped over the back of your chair. Before the real party began, with entertainers and dancing and drugs (that’s what Harry told you at least) you lost sight of Sam and Adam. You and Harry had sort of been in your own world. Aim and Aggie were still at the table and Aim was the first to speak up about it, “So, I think our lovebirds went to go have a party of their own,” he laughed.

You weren’t too surprised. With the way they were flirting all night and they’re both not hard on the eyes either.

But then Aim pointed at Harry and narrowed his eyes, “Do not get any ideas.”

When the tables were pulled away and new seating was placed along the edges of the room, servers came around with drinks and the music played with a more upbeat tempo. The lights were dimmed, the encirclement was raised, the curtains pulled back and a full band suddenly appeared (the one that had begun playing the upbeat tempo). At the opposite side of the room there was another stage where men and women were dancing beautifully, not wearing anything other than glitter and jewelry. Within the crowd of people there were pockets of magic displays and fire tamers. The guests began dancing and Harry pulled you into the middle with Aim and Aggie in tow. The music was fast paced and you weren’t a dancer so you weren’t exactly sure how to move your body in a way that wouldn’t look ridiculous. Your revealing dress and high heels didn’t help matters either.

But it didn’t matter. Everyone was in their own world, dancing and singing and watching the random entertainers who would walk by with their magic tricks or unusual skill set that would draw attention.

And Harry was right. There were drugs. And it wasn’t just marijuana either. A woman walked by carrying a box with a strap that went around her shoulders and it reminded you of the old pictures you’d seen of the cigarette girls at parties during prohibition. Only inside of these boxes were illicit drugs. Things you’d never in your wildest imagination dream of seeing in person. And it was all free.

“Does everyone use drugs here?” You asked Harry as he had his arm around your waist and he was swaying you around with him.

Harry laughed and shook his head, “No. But many do. It’s just not illegal here or penalized like it is on Earth. Humans like to make rules to hurt the most vulnerable, like jailing people for using drugs. Even in Heaven, drugs are fine,” he swung you away from him and then back into his arms, “Angels, demons, and humans all use drugs and have been since the beginning of time. We all like to get a little fucked up now and again. But in Hell there are less consequences and less stigma. And less crime because of it.”

You still had so much to learn. You watched people snorting cocaine, smoking joints, smoking pipes, taking pills, and everything in between. It felt strange to look at the spectacle and not judge the beings for using the drugs. But things were different here.

Many people came up to you and greeted you. Some kissed you and hugged you. Others shook your hand and chatted for a bit, asked questions… it felt… welcoming. It felt like you belonged.

But Harry wasn’t wrong about there being some who wouldn’t welcome you. There would be some who would keep their distance and immediately not like you based on things they’d heard that weren’t true. You saw the glares and felt their coldness. But you tried not to let it get to you. You stuck by Harry’s side and it helped keep you grounded.

At some point, you didn’t know where Aim and Aggie had gone but you and Harry were dancing close and he was holding your hips and talking into your ear, purposely trying to get you riled up. You had your hands on his chest as you both swayed and his lips would go from small kisses on your neck to brushing the shell of your ear with whispered words.

“I can smell you. Your sweat, your pussy…” his fingers gripped your hips tight as he pressed himself to you close, “gonna lick up every drop of moisture from your skin tonight.”

You bit your lip and listened to him tell you what he was going to do to you. And it was all true. You were sweaty from all the dancing and your pussy was a little wet too. Everything in the ballroom that was happening was erotic. The naked dancers, people swaying and grinding together on the floor, and there were even people having sex on the couches and chairs along the walls of the room. Fully nude demons and angels fucking with no shame. It was kind of hot. Everyone was so sexy.

But as hot and sexy as everything was, you also needed to pee quite bad and you hated to break from the moment but you pressed at his chest and looked up at him, “I have to pee.”

The bathroom was all black and gold and sparkly. Everything about the palace you were in was fancy and breathtaking, like all the people. You relieved your bladder and washed your hands when the woman you met earlier, the server who tried to hit on Harry, walked up to the sink next to you and started to wash her hands. You looked at her through the mirror and she glanced at you but went back to washing her hands.

You found it odd that she didn’t greet you and maybe it was all the alcohol or your own dislike toward her but after you dried your hands you leaned your hip to the counter and faced her. You waited for her to finish but she didn’t turn to look at you.

When she moved to leave you stepped in front of her, blocking her path, realizing you were a few inches taller than her, thanks to your stilettos. You laughed and it came out darker than you intended, a menacing chuckle that you’d never heard come from yourself before.

She cleared her throat and tried to step around you but you pressed your back into the door and spoke, “What? No hello? No welcome to the fold? You flirt with my man right in front of me but won’t acknowledge me, the guest of honor?”

You really didn’t know what had gotten into you but you wanted her to know her place. You could read her thoughts easily and she didn’t like you. But that wasn’t your concern. You didn’t care if she liked you or not. It was her sneaky little lingering contemplation about how she was going to get Harry’s attention. And when she finally looked into your eyes you smiled at her ridiculous recent memory.

She’d tried hitting on him again just now. That’s why she was here. She followed you to the bathroom so she could have a moment alone with him and he brushed her off.

You laughed and brought your hand up to her long hair, wrapping a small curl around your pointer finger, “Maybe it’s hard for you to comprehend this but Harry is mine. He doesn’t want you, as you just learned. Again. Do you know what we did after we left the pub earlier today? When we didn’t eat the dessert you gave to Harry?”

You saw her swallow and the look in her eyes narrowed as she got angrier.

“Yeah. I bet you’d like to know. It was dirty and hot. So satisfying. Mouth watering. And soon you’ll be seeing me carrying his heir. His cock is mine. His soul is bonded to me. You’re a bore to him. And to me too quite honestly. Know your place,” you let go of her hair and brought your hand up to her temple, touching the small space between her eye and her ear, “I can hear every stupid thought in your brain your right now. You’re pathetic.”

And with that, you turned and walked out of the bathroom. Harry was waiting for you by the door. He was smirking at you, “What did you do to her?”

You smiled and brought your hands up over his chest and pressed him into the wall, “I just told her whom you belong to,” you pressed your lips to his and took his hand, pulling it down to your center where you were wet (it was easy access with your high front slit), and you lifted your leg over his hip and pressed your mouth over his.

Harry sputtered out a laugh in disbelief, “What have you done with my sweet little lemon love? Hmm?” He kissed you back and slid his fingers over your clit and smiled against your lips, “Need me, baby? Want to make her jealous? Is that why you’re all grabby with my hands?”

You smiled and shrugged, “Maybe.” And you weren’t sure why you did it, but maybe it was to make her jealous. You wanted her to see Harry touching you and not her. You knew you’d absolutely lost your mind when rolled your hips into his hand.

Harry pushed his fingers inside and kept his thumb on your button as he slowly dragged his long digits in and out. You knew that she’d see the whole show if she just stepped out of the bathroom. The slit in your dress was so high and you weren’t wearing panties and with Harry’s hand stuffed in your cunt, there was no way to hide what was happening.

You held onto his shoulders and tightened your leg over his hip as he worked your pussy. Harry leaned in to kiss your neck as his hand grew wetter and wetter.

With the moments of quiet, the girl thought the coast was clear so she stepped out of the bathroom and the first thing she saw, just as you’d hoped, was your wet pussy being fucked with Harry’s long, ringed fingers.

You and Harry both turned your heads toward her and smiled, your eyes were droopy because you were already being worked into an orgasm, but you still managed a good grin at her.

Harry pulled his fingers out of your cunt and lifted his hand, putting his middle finger into his mouth and moaning before popping it out and holding it out to the girl, “Oh, did you want a taste of the best pussy in all the realms?”

Her eyes widened and she scowled, “Doubt that…” she said under her breath and Harry scoffed before moving your leg down and he dropped to his knees in front of you, his hands on your hips, and lifted your leg up over his shoulder.

He looked at the girl and shook his head, “Your existence is boring and you have no taste. Please go so I can eat,” and with that, he dug his face into your cunt and you held onto his shoulders and moaned, throwing your head back.

You were feeling the magic of the realm. The freedom, the openness, the spontaneity. It was different being in the lower realm. Not like it was on Earth. You felt the gravity, the heat, the confidence, and the boldness of the others around you. It melted away any bit of reserve you felt (well mostly), enough that you were getting eaten out in public so you could make a point to someone who thought she could have your man.

The girl was long gone by the time you orgasmed and Harry’s big cock was nearly bursting from his pants. He already had a big cock even when not hard so getting hard while he was wearing pants tended to be a bit of a problem for him.

“Let’s go back to our room. I think you’ve been present long enough,” Harry’s face was slick with you and you wiped his chin with your palm as you tried to calm your panting breaths with a nod.

You and Harry wasted no time in getting back to the big bed that sat waiting for you to use. The fire was already lit and the candles on the mantle were flickering with gentle light against the wall and ceiling.

Harry’s black eyes were devouring your body as you slid your dress off. He watched you as he slowly removed his shirt and then his pants. He was gearing up to do what he did best. What he was created to do. He was an incubus after all, with a big cock that was used to pour fertile seed meant to impregnate a womb with his heir. It wasn’t like when it was just fucking. When it was time for him to plant an heir, his ritual was sacred and he was about to share it with you. You were about to find out what it was really like to be properly defiled by an incubus.

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[actualbird]

hi zak! I saw the tags you left on a reblogged post about Luke and suffering in relation to catholicism and that made me think. one of my classmates used to mention "the catholic guilt" (particularly about having desire), and I just thought it fits Luke so well. He felt so guilty about loving Rosa (and leaving her alone...) for so long T-T. Also, I'd love to hear more of your thoughts about catholic and filipino luke if you'd like to write about it!

irt to these deranged tags i left on this post abt suffering as salvation and luke forever ago, screencapped below for reference

hello hello! sorry this response took Ages but now im finally down to answer this so....

//steeples hands.....is luke pearce catholic coded? to Me, yes, and ive been casually throwing around this concept ever since 2021 HAHA. the filipino bit is actually just me projecting, so i wont go too much into that, but the religious bit Is something i wanna talk about. and i apologize in advanced for how long this response is gonna end up being

quick disclaimer b4 i start tho: im Not a theologian or an expert in religious theory, im just some guy who went through over a decade of catholic school and lives in the philippines, a primarily catholic country. this whole response is not saying "catholicism bad." it's more the institutions from where we experience catholicism from can twist it into something harmful, and i got to experience that first hand and how it affects one's view of themselves

ANYHOO, LET'S START FROM THE BEGINNING

like....the Beginning beginning

part 1: in the beginning, adam and eve did an oopsie so now we're all saddled with original sin (i swear this is important to luke pearce, bear with me)

quick recap on those who are unfamiliar: in the book of Genesis, god told adam and eve not to eat from the tree of knowledge. and then they did. this was the first ever sin in the history of humankind, and it is inherited by all humans through birth. so like, yay, happy entrance into the world, newly born baby child! you are guilty of sin already. this original sin is most usually absolved though through baptism, so it's not too much of a problem. but what im interested here is less of the nitty gritty semantics and more of the concept this all puts forth:

that under catholicism and similar denominations, a child, somebody who has not done any wrong at all, is inherently tainted by sin

now, the Good reaction to sin or any wrongdoing one has done is to recognize it and to atone for forgiveness. and within the "recognition" part is where guilt lies. functionally, guilt has a purpose. it makes us realize that we had done something wrong, it makes us feel remorseful, and it adds motivation to atone, to turn a new leaf, and to be better. in healthy amounts, guilt is useful and a natural part of being conscious over the things you do. and in unhealthy amounts, guilt is agonizing.

but thats for stuff you actually Did.

if the thing you are guilty for isnt actually something you were responsible over, the guilt cant do anything to make any of it better. you cant be a better person from it, because you didnt even do it. it just sits there, making you feel horrible for something that was out of your control. but because guilt is a Good thing to do, it doesnt matter if it's functional or not. it needs to stay. because it's Good, and the sin youre saddled with (whether or not you were responsible) is Bad

now let's bring in luke

luke's parents died when he was very young. this led him to living with mc's family, and a huge insecurity and fear he had from the beginning was that he felt guilty for burdening them, for stealing the love and care from mc's parents when that shouldve been for mc alone. the story SSR Shape Of You goes into this particular childhood experience extensively (and i highly reccommend it to anyone who hasnt read it yet), and tells us that his guilt was so bad that he wanted to run away and even erase himself from existence.

but luke didnt even do anything wrong

at the time, he was a child. he had no bearing whatsoever in the accident that killed his parents, he had no sway over who wouldve ended up looking after him, he had no control over the situation. like a newborn baby born under catholic doctrine, luke finds himself inherently tainted by and guilty for the circumstances that landed him to where he was.

this kind of pattern is going to follow him for the rest of his life, and the concept of inherent sin and inherent guilt begins to evolve. if luke can find himself guilty for things out of his control, then he can also find himself guilty for things that arent even sins in the first place

key example: love

like you said, luke feels immense guilt over loving mc. but why? love is the opposite of a sin, afterall.

it's just a sin when luke does it. because luke sees himself as inherently bad, and sees mc as inherently good. he sees himself as unworthy of her or someone who will just bring pain into her life, and causing pain someone you love is bad. if love is the knife he uses to hurt someone he loves, then that love is bad. that love should not be realized, and luke should feel guilty for even yearning for her.

by this point i think it's obvious that original concept has become twisted and overly punishing, even cruel. and thats because:

a lot of institutions teach catholic doctrine in an unhealthy and harmful manner. this is why many catholics and lapsed catholics experience The Catholic Guilt(TM). what was originally a pretty reasonable thing gets blown out of proportion from the places we learn these things from, and then getting exposed to this for majority of our lives lets it worm its way into our brain where it'll tend to stay

and if one's brain also has a tendency for self hatred and/or mental illness........well. it all gets worse.

it's clear in canon that luke is uhhhh not the most mentally well individual. his guilt is so overwhelming that it's the driving force in so many of his choices, stories, and experiences. which is big reason #1 for why luke just seems so catholic to me, because of the sheer intensity of his guilt and how he sees himself as inherently bad and unworthy.

but in the roadmap of sin, thats only the beginning. because the process goes:

sin (bad) -> recognition of the bad aided by guilt (good) -> atonement to become better (good)

which leads to big reason #2

part 2: suffering, pain, and misery as atonement

it's important to note that catholicism does not posit that "suffering is good", but there is a clear pattern of veneration for people who endure suffering under noble causes. many, many people in catholic history have been martyred (and many also sainted), one of the biggest examples being jesus himself.

pain is not good, but someone who chooses to take it on for good reasons (self-sacrifice, martyrdom, putting others above one's self) or stays good in spite of all the pain they experienced (unwavering faith, a heart of gold), well, THAT person is good.

however, like a lot of stuff in catholicism, things get twisted into extreme variations because of how it gets taught or experienced. it doesnt take a genius to see how "people who endured pain for good reasons were brave and devoted people" can transform into "to experience pain is inherently noble" when you take into consideration that many sins (like, of the seven deadly sins variety, pride, sloth, lust, etc etc) are variations of indulgence.

specifically over-indulgence, yes, but there's a dichotomy now. here, in the list of Good Stuff are things that feel not-so-good, and over in the list of Bad Stuff are things that do feel good

bad stuff is a sin, and from part 1, sins are things you should be guilty for

and now, to feel good is also bad, so you should be guilty for that. which reinforces the concept that to feel bad is good.

congratulations, you've unintentionally glorified suffering and demonized pleasure! //sad trumpet noises

you can see this kind of thinking pretty clearly in luke pearce. there are the big examples like the previous one i brought up, where he feels so guilty for his feelings for mc. but it appears even in smaller casual situations, like in his 1st birthday event story. this moment was seared into my brain

"can i look forward to this?" is indicative of hesitating in the face of happiness. even something as mundane as anticipating a birthday surprise is something to be approached with caution, feels too good to be true, to be allowed, because feeling good is bad and luke doesnt see himself worthy of it

but okay, we're all guilty now of the horrible sin of enjoying life. what comes next? atonement, becoming better, growing from the bad to become good, right?

and what better way to cleanse one's self from the sin of feeling good but through the nobleness of enduring pain?

luke is guilty over the sin robbing burdening mc and her family -> thats okay he's leaving for college anyway! wont be able to burden them there -> oopsie the NSB happens but hey at least this lone wolf suffering is a great way to atone for his past sin -> oh god the guilt of abandoning mc though -> oh GOD the mission that killed everybody but him -> NEW ACHIEVEMENT: SURVIVOR'S GUILT ON TOP OF THE CATHOLIC GUILT! -> oh GOD he's even guiltier now of his feelings for mc because of his illness, he'll only bring pain to her, how selfish of him to have feelings like this, bad and wrong -> the best way to handle this is to stay away from her to let her live in peace (lacking the pain that luke will bring) and deprive himself of her who brings him joy (inflicting pain of separation onto sinner as punishment) -> the path to salvation (to being good, because only in being Good is someone worthy of love) is through constant suffering and endless self-deprivation

kinda insane how luke's self-perceived sins and self-inflicted sufferings gain compound interest of misery, but his spiral into self-loathing is littered with this kind of nonsensical "because i did [THING], i should deserve pain/NOT deserve happiness"

for luke, suffering became the mode of atonement, it became the solution for sin and guilt.

part 3: conclusion

to wrap this all up, i wanna make it clear that i dont necessarily think luke is like, catholic in the story. nor is even it a headcanon i have. it's more that the intensely self-punishing thought patterns luke has in relation to guilt and suffering are very, very familiar. it resonates in a way that is horridly relatable to people who have experienced these specific catholic experience woes, but it can also resonate in completely different ways to other people as well.

but given that....yeah. based on my own experiences, all this //gestures at too-long response, is why i keep using catholic language and imagery whenever i talk about luke. it's so familiar. he's so familiar. luke would not be out of place in a filipino catholic high school crying during a 3 day retreat

thanks for the ask!!!

[1967-shades-of-gray]

"Paul McCartney reveals raunchy Beatles sex stories in GQ interview"

By Adam Wallis Global News Posted September 12, 2018 11:28 am Updated September 12, 2018 11:31 am

Article text in above link or below the cut because I was laughing very hard at this and I don't trust it not to be deleted eventually.

There are also some nice (obviously SFW, don't get your hopes up lmao) pictures in the article linked above. :)

NOTE: This article contains content that may be offensive to some readers. Please read at your own discretion.

In a brand-new, steamy GQ profile, Sir Paul McCartney dove right into the nitty-gritty and recalled raunchy sexual adventures he shared with his former bandmates.

The Beatles bassist and co-lead singer sat down for an in-depth interview with the magazine, digging deep into his personal life. These anecdotes include (but are not limited to): a threesome in Vegas, the story of George Harrison losing his virginity and masturbating with John Lennon at his house.

(Where’s Ringo Starr in all of this?)

For those of us with less-sordid tastes, there are also juicy, non-sexual stories from his time with The Beatles, his childhood upbringing, his recent offer from Kanye West and his brand new album, Egypt Station.

Although 76-year-old McCartney was too shy to go into too much detail, he was quite happy to share enough just to paint a picture of his intimate times from back in the early Beatles days.

McCartney recalled exploring his manhood with Lennon and his friends by masturbating together at his house.

“Instead of just getting roaring drunk and partying… We were all just in these chairs, and the lights were out, and somebody started masturbating, so we all did… But, you know, it was just the kind of thing you didn’t think much of. Yeah, it’s quite raunchy when you think about it… But it was good harmless fun. It didn’t hurt anyone.”

It was something that he claims “was a one-off, or maybe it was like a two-off. It wasn’t a big thing.” While doing the act, they would shout names to either encourage or distract one another.

McCartney also reminisced about the time they all kept quiet as they shared barracks “like army buddies” at the age of 17. (This was pre-Beatlemania.)They split two bunks and a bed. If one of the teens brought a girl home, they would take the bed for the evening. McCartney called it “forced closeness.” On one of these particular nights, Harrison lost his virginity. McCartney recounts the lads all huddled together and cheered for him as it happened. They even applauded when it was over.“We were always very close and on top of each other, which meant you could totally read each other,” McCartney explained, highlighting why the Liverpudlians reached the heights of fame — because there were very few boundaries between them.

A Beatles trip to Vegas landed McCartney in a threesome — something he said he always wanted to try.

“There was once were the tour guy said, ‘You’re going to Vegas, guys — you want a hooker?’ We were all, ‘Yeah!’ And I requested two… It was a wonderful experience. But that’s the closest I ever came to an orgy… See, the thing is, in the next room I think the guys might have ordered something else off the menu… I think maybe John experienced a bit more of that than I did. Tell you the truth, I just didn’t fancy it, that kind of thing.”

The sexcapade story goes, according to McCartney, that Lennon was asked to sleep with a woman who was married while the husband watched.In comparison to his late bandmate, McCartney questioned, “Am I too sensible? I don’t know. Mine wasn’t particularly crazy but it was a lot of fun.”

It wasn’t all randy throwbacks in this profile, however. McCartney was also asked about his interactions with Blur/Gorillaz mastermind Damon Albarn, after he accused Kanye West of looping him into an “abusive collaboration.” (This was in reference to McCartney’s appearance in the FourFiveSeconds video featuring Rihanna.)“I love the respect someone like Damon is attributing to me,” he said. But he politely pushed aside Albarn’s comments by admitting he wouldn’t have listened to him if he initially advised against the collaborative effort.“If I want to go somewhere else from where I normally go or where I’m expected to go, I’ll go.”

Upon being asked about West, McCartney revealed how he had to turn the rapper down when he offered to produce his next album. He “very kindly offered to produce this album… Then I thought, no, I kind of knew what direction I wanted to go in. And I knew that would be very different from where Kanye would go with it.”McCartney is currently celebrating yet another successful solo album debut. Egypt Station was released last Friday, his first album in five years.

[gwiyeounsonyeon]

May Writing Challenge Day 16!

Pairing: Zeffirelli x Male Reader Summary: You and Zeffirelli share a few kisses Words: 629/200 Warnings: You burn yourself Notes: were getting into the nitty gritty with this one

☁︎⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆

The sharp sound of the curtain being pulled open is loud in the quiet bathroom but Zeffirelli’s yelp is louder. You raise your brow at him; naked, smoking, and scribbling in his notebook. “What in the hell are you doing now?” The amusement in your voice is undisguisable and he gawks at you. “You’re in my bathroom.” He says indignantly, you tilt your head, unable to fight the smile slowly creeping up on your face, “Yes?” It shouldn't have been a question but your tone pitches anyway, the movement of his adams apple draws the attention of your eyes, then your gaze drops only to dart back to his face. “... While I’m in the bath?” Color rises to his face when he catches your wondering gaze, “It seems you are.” You say simply, you shift your weight to the other foot, the movement rattling the curtains. 

“While I’m naked” His voice had pitched up slightly either out of nervousness or embarrassment, “I’d hope so.” That came out so wrong, both your faces go bright red. He gestures with his cigarette held between his fingers. “Close the–” You dont give him time to finish before jerking the curtain closed. Once shielded from view you let out a unanimous breath of relief. You slide down to sit on the floor, leant against the side of the tub staring off at the far wall trying hard not to think about Zeffirelli, or his… 

You huff frustrated at the flush on your face and your stubborn wondering thoughts and you stick your two fingers through the crack of the curtain. It only takes a moment of hesitation before Zeffirelli is gently placing his cigarette between your fingers, the flush on your face darkens as his fingers brush against yours and you find yourself pulling the cigarette back too soon and nearly dropping it. You dont, saving it by catching the smoldering tip in your hand, you hiss and Zeffirelli pulls back the curtain to see what happened. He plucks the cigarette out of your hand and places it between your lips, he drops his notebook and pen on the floor to pick up your hand to inspect the damage. “Why’d you do that.” You roll your eyes and blow smoke in his face, pinching the cigarette between the two fingers of your other hand carefully. 

“You say it like I did that on purpose.” – “Didn't you?” – “Absolutely not?” He eyes you, squinting slightly. “You dont sound sure.” You roll your eyes again, “Why would I burn myself on purpose?” – “To get my attention.” You look at him quizzically. “And… Why do I want your attention?” He watches you for a moment, you try your best to hold eye contact, swallowing the buildup of saliva that's gathered in your mouth at the pictures your awful brain is putting in your head. It becomes too much and before you can catch yourself, your eyes glance down to his lips, just for a second but he still sees it. “That.” – “That, what?” You respond entirely too fast but before you can start criticizing yourself about how stupid you must seem Zeffirelli leans forward and chastely pecks you on the lips. 

He pulls back entirely too soon, he kisses you entirely too soon and for a few long seconds, you’re both left staring at each other in shock. You swallow before leaning in again but he has the same idea and when you meet in another kiss your teeth click painfully, drawing you apart once more. You let out a choked sort of chuckle and bring the cigarette to your lips, your hands shaking anxiously, “I’m writing my manifesto.” His voice is too shaky, too hoarse but the distraction is good enough, “Let me read it?” – “Absolutely.”

[quaranmine]

Congratulations! You are single-handedly responsible for getting me into Jet Lag: The Game! I hope you're happy. Currently almost finished with season 2, and I'm not sure how they managed to make a game mostly out of what I would argue is the least fun part of traveling: logistics. My other main takeaway is that the only thing better than when they make completely accurate predictions about what the other team is doing is when they're wrong because the other team is doing something much dumber.

YESSSSSS!!!!!! SUCCESS!!!

I'm also so excited for you that you have S3 up next. Tag Across Europe is peak. That's the one that got me into the channel since I found it as it was airing. I went back and watched the previous seasons after S3 and have kept up off and on since (with the more obsessive angle happening this year as I got deeper into it.) Tomorrow the finale of the latest season is coming out on Nebula!

What camp are you in? Ben and Adam or Sam + Guest? I tend to be team Ben and Adam (or Badam) or just team Ben, but I will root for Sam if he's having a stroke of genius too.

I would agree with your takeways. They've always emphasized the priority that travel itself takes in the game and there's a heavy focus of modes of travel (planes, trains, busses, cars) as well as nitty gritty strategy with timetables so logistics is a huge part. It is always significantly about the act of traveling itself and the methods of getting to a place, not just sightseeing. In S8 Michelle Khare said she created an entire spreadsheet with every possible flight or city or piece of information she thought they'd need! xD Perhaps this is one thing I like about it. I tend to create super detailed, researched itineraries for travel and one of my favorite parts of taking trips is actually the researching step beforehand. Obviously, Jet Lag is much different since they basically never know what city they'll be in at the end of the day. But I think I enjoy watching people carrying out all these steps of travel at a much more unhinged pace than I'd ever be comfortable with, while still doing the basic steps of itinerary planning that I already do. They have also taught me that I can probably arrive at the airport much later than I think is necessary and probably get away with it lmao

Ben and Adam edit most of the episodes and their editing is SO GOOD. They're always doing hilarious cuts like that. Also I love this show because it makes me get invested in whoever I want to do well and then I find myself like "am I really anxious about watching a man try to cut a cookie in half with a credit card in public?" (for a recent example)

[denimbex1986]

'We live in a world, it seems, where every single thing anyone ever does gets criticized and argued about no matter how absolutely fantastic and incredible things are. No matter what a company or someone does, there’s always going to be someone upset, irritated, annoyed, or whatever about the product and why is X getting a release but not Y and so forth. The conversation is simply exhausting, especially when it’s about Criterion, who have released 80+ 4K titles so far (93 by the end of the year) and not a singular release has been a miss. So, whether it is the incoming 8 ½ (1963) that is getting the 4K treatment or one of the very best of 2023 in Andrew Haigh’s All of Us Strangers, let’s just celebrate the excellence that Criterion puts out and celebrate one of the most beautifully heartbreaking films of the twenty-first century which boasts some of the best extras in a Criterion in *ages*...

The film focuses on struggling screenwriter Adam (Andrew Scott) while he finds a new outlet to grieve over losing his parents 30 years ago. He is drawn to his childhood home to process the loss while writing his new screenplay and sees the ghosts of his parents, Mum and Dad (Claire Foy and Jamie Bell respectively). While working on his screenplay, dealing with the grief, and revisiting his childhood home, he has a chance encounter with Harry (Paul Mescal). The two of these characters live in the same apartment complex and, during a fire alarm, start a budding relationship, one that takes off in an unexpected way. Truly a way to capture the chances of meeting a love in a chance encounter, their relationship blossoms as Adam tries to navigate his new screenplay, seeing his parents through his writing and mind, and balancing his new found relationship with Harry.

There is something simplistic and beautiful about their relationship and character builds that just strikes the heartstrings in more ways than one. However, as the film progresses, the script penned by Haigh (Lean on Pete) based on the novel by Taichi Yamada not only breaks the audience it, completely shatters them. With every word spoken, and every action taken, All of Us Strangers wiggles its way into one’s heart, nestles in there for the rest of your life, then explodes from the inside, shattering one’s heart into a literal million pieces. This movie hits the audience like a ton of bricks, and nothing can prepare audiences for the emotional devastation.

Now we dive into the nitty gritty. I first saw this as a screener provided by Disney at home, and was completely immersed and taken aback by how gorgeous this film was. I was so blown away, in fact, that I went with a friend to see it in theatres so I could audibly sob and disturb people around me with my emotional devastation. The theatre presentation was absolutely stunning and an equally immersive experience, and that was just in the small VIP (needing massive renovations) auditorium. Then, what hit me falling piano, similarly to the movie, was that this was never going to get a home release. It was a Searchlight presentation and, since their acquisition by Disney, home releases were never certain. I even *almost* bought the UK 4K because I knew I needed this in my collection, but as I was about to check out, I found out that All of Us Strangers was getting the Criterion treatment and I needed it, immediately.

The 4K on this is presented in Dolby Vision HDR and absolutely shines; astonishingly the best it has looked across all three of my watches. I know that sounds a little silly on a 2023 release, but the colors and vibrancy of this film truly shine with the warm 4K digital mastering. Another thing Criterion excels at is their bonus features, and the essay from film critic Guy Lodge may be the best essay, or at least one of, that Criterion has ever put out. If you’re not a fan of reading the essays, I cannot highly recommend enough reading this specific one. Moreover, there is more than an hour of special features on this edition, and between the conversations between Haigh and Michael Koresky and the interview with the cinematographer Jamie D. Ramsay (See How They Run), every faucet of information is tapped here. Combine that with the behind-the-scenes documentary and featurettes and everything one could want to know about the making of All of Us Strangers is truly answered.

The 4K criterion of All of Us Strangers is an absolute hands-down must for anyone who appreciates Haigh’s quintessential masterpiece. There is no question that this is the best the movie has ever looked, and not relying on a streaming service to have the movie available to watch at your leisure is the ultimate deciding factor. There is so much love, heart, and soul placed into this home release that it truly is a no brainer to have this incredible movie in your collection. Do not wait, do not stop, just go to your closest computer or store that sells physical media and assure yourself that you will obtain and own one of the best modern romantic, heartbreaking movies of all time in All of Us Strangers...'

[lightbringer-morningstar]

@lettherebemonsters asked:

"I don't care what you want." (Adam at Lu!)

"Right, yeah, well, you've done the most you could to make that painfully clear now, haven't you?" he clicks his tongue. At this point he's done all he can to try to assist Adam, he figured he owed it to him when this all first started off. With the urging of his daughter, he had not much against the idea, help another sinner find redemption. What they hadn't expected was exactly how much resentment and push-back Adam would hold against any progress.

"I'll tell you again, since you seem to want to keep up this imaginary fight—I only want to help out with this pathway back to Heaven for ya and I promised both you and Charlie that I would put my best foot forward but if we really wanna get down to the nitty gritty of it all, well, the fact of the matter is, I really don't have a horse in this race. So, with that being said, if you really don't want anything to do with me, then that's that, I suppose. You say the word and bing-o bang-o, I'm gone and you'll be free to do as you please without my checking in."

[out-with-the-boys]

The Dance- Chapter 10

Homelander x Supe OC

Notes: 18+ No warnings apply for this chapter. Each chapter will have individual content warnings as they apply to avoid spoilers. Find this work on AO3. Tumblr master post here.

Previous chapter.

It didn’t surprise Morgan much that life was back to normal so shortly after she and Homelander returned to New York from her father’s funeral. A part of her would still mourn him always, but she couldn’t put the rest of her life on hold anymore. The world was still spinning, and she had to carry on.

While she wasn’t allowed to go on any saves for a while longer, or exert herself too much in other ways, Dr. Foster had cleared her to get back to work. Ashley was still pushing her ‘Girls Get it Done’ initiative, and had found a few ways to incorporate Morgan’s unique talents into it. When she realized she could roll it into ‘Women in Stem,’ Morgan half expected her to start frothing at the mouth with excitement.

When she wasn’t working on keynote speeches or interviewing with the press, the rest of her time was filled with shoots for the new Vought movie. Dawn of the Seven was well underway on production, and the director, Adam, had been dying to get her on set now that she was cleared for work. She wasn’t particularly wowed by the script, but it was a surprisingly fun aspect of her job.

Maybe she had inherited a little of Sammy’s acting bug after all.

The Dawn of the Seven set buzzed with activity, a carefully controlled chaos that mimicked the real-life missions she couldn’t currently be part of. Extras in costumes rushed around, crew members darted between trailers, and the ever-present hum of cameras and lighting equipment filled the air. Adam was already calling out orders, his voice barely audible over the commotion.

Today’s scene was a reimagining of a past mission, complete with exaggerated dialogue and explosive action that bore little resemblance to what had actually happened. Morgan’s role was minor—more of a cameo, really, but she hadn’t even been a part of the original mission in the first place. None of it made a lot of sense, but that was cinema.

“Psyren!” Adam called, waving her over. “We’re ready to run your lines. Remember, you’re stepping in just as Homelander’s about to finish off the bad guy. It’s all about power and presence.”

Morgan nodded, adjusting the exaggerated version of her suit Vought had designed for the film. It was flashier, more stylized, and far less practical than the real thing, but it photographed well. The real thing still looked pretty battered after Harlem anyway. 

Off to the side, Homelander was chatting with one of the producers, but Morgan could feel his eyes flicker toward her every so often, studying her. His presence had become a constant lately, a mix of genuine interest and strategic maneuvering that made her head spin. She wondered if this was all part of his latest game—showing up just often enough to remind her that she was never really alone.

Adam gave the signal, snapping Morgan back into the present and the cameras began to roll. She delivered her lines with the right amount of bravado, channeling a confident, commanding persona. With a mock telekinetic wave toward the villain, they flew backward in an impressive stunt choreographed to the last detail. 

Acting might not have been her first choice, but it offered a strange kind of escape—a momentary illusion where she didn’t have to worry about all the nitty gritty of her role at Vought, even if just for a few takes. Eventually the scene wrapped with applause from the crew, and Adam gave her a thumbs-up, clearly pleased.

As the crew moved to reset for the next scene, Homelander finally approached, his expression casual but his eyes sharp.

“You looked good out there,” he said, voice low enough for only her to hear. “The spotlight suits you.”

“I’ll be sure to pass your compliments along to wardrobe.” she snorted, brushing the compliment aside with a modest shrug. 

Homelander’s smile lingered, his gaze fixing on her with a different sort of intensity than she was accustomed to. “You don’t have to do that, you know. That whole ‘self-deprecating to appear humble’ thing? I thought we were supposed to be more honest with each other.”

Blinking, she wasn’t quite sure how to feel about him calling her out like that. He wasn’t exactly on the mark about why she often talked herself down, but he was close enough to make her question a few things. She narrowed her eyes slightly, pushing back the small flutter of discomfort.

“I am being honest,” she snorted lightly, arms crossing in front of her as if to shield herself from the weight of his gaze. “What you’re talking about is a purely subjective thing.”

“You could always just take the compliment,” he offered, his lips curling into an amused smirk. “A simple ‘thank you’ wouldn’t kill you, would it?”

Her brows raised a little further, and she leveled him with a dry look. “I don’t know. It might.”

Homelander chuckled, stepping just a little closer, but his movements were slow, deliberate. “Well, let’s find out, shall we?”

Morgan’s breath caught in her chest for a split second, but she masked it with a shrug. “Fine. Thank you,” she said, her tone laced with sarcasm. “Happy?”

His eyes flashed with that same intensity, a mixture of amusement and something a bit mercurial. “I don’t know. Are you?”

 Shifting her weight, she tried to shake the feeling that he was attempting to peel back layers she wasn’t ready to expose. “You sure know how to make something out of nothing, don’t you?”

He smirked, undeterred. “I know what I see. You can pretend you don’t want the spotlight, but you’re made for it, Morgan. You could be something... bigger. Something more.”

She bit the inside of her cheek, pushing down the surge of unease that came with his words. He wasn’t wrong, and that was what unsettled her the most. “And what, exactly, do you want me to do with that? Shine so bright that no one can look away?”

His smile softened, but his eyes remained sharp. “Something like that. Or, you know, you could just stop hiding behind all this modesty and let yourself be seen for who you really are. I think you’d like it more than you think.”

Morgan felt her heart skip a beat at the intensity in his voice, and her defenses shot up instinctively. “Maybe I’m just not interested in being put on a pedestal,” she countered, her voice cool. “That’s more your thing, isn’t it?”

There was a glint of something mischievous in his eyes. “You say that now. But one day, you might realize you belong up there too.”

Forcing a smile, she stepped back slightly to create some space between them. “I’ll leave the high-flying acts to you. I’m fine keeping my feet on the ground.”

Before Morgan could fully retreat from the moment, Ashley came zooming toward them in a golf cart, braking hard before she got too close. The wild-eyed look of panic on her face told Morgan everything she needed to know before she could even think about peering into her mind. There was a fire to be put out somewhere.

“Can I speak to you?” Ashley addressed Homelander sharply. “Privately,” she added quickly, her gaze flitting between Morgan and him.

There was a chance she could gracefully make her escape, but his eyes locked with hers and he smiled. It was a triumphant and wry expression that made her want to wither a little. She had been honest with him, and now every interaction they had was hinging on that fact.

“Oh, Psyren can stay,” he said with a dismissive wave. “There aren’t any secrets between us.”

Exchanging glances, neither she or Ashley were about to argue with him. She was about to deliver bad news, and Morgan was already anticipating that she might need to soften the blow. From the details Morgan had picked up on amidst the chaos, she didn’t imagine Homelander would react well.

Start with the positives. If you can.

Ashley flinched slightly as Morgan silently nudged her in a direction that she hoped would help. Swallowing hard, Ashley took the tablet she’d had tucked under her arm and pulled up a video to show them. 

“So, it’s been scrubbed off the web already, but this was online for about twenty minutes, give or take.” she began, a slight tremble betraying her nerves. “People have definitely seen it.”

Morgan had already seen the content of the video through Ashley’s memory, but hearing it out loud made her stomach churn. There was a super-powered man causing havoc in a village somewhere she didn’t recognize immediately. Homelander had taken him out with hardly any effort, cutting through him with a single short blast of his heat vision. 

That blast caught somebody else too.

Tensing slightly as she listened to the despairing wails of a woman over the tablet speaker, she kept her gaze averted. The shock from Homelander was palpable as he tried to replay his own memory of the event back in his mind. He was in and out of there so fast, he hadn’t realized his mistake.

“How? I–” he paused, a million questions all bubbling to the surface, each one of them a concern with how the public would see him now. On one hand, she couldn’t help but feel a twinge of disgust. Someone had needlessly been killed in a conflict he was involved in, but that was the least of his worries.

Then again, she thought back to that fleeting image of that small boy– he was so desperate for love and approval, no matter what form it took. It didn’t make it right, but she could feel his desperation so strongly it made her stomach give an uneasy twist

“I assume there’s already a plan in place on how to address this, yes?” Morgan pressed, giving Ashley a pointed look. 

“N-not yet, but we’re working on it.” Ashley stammered. “But, there’s something else you should know.” 

With a swipe of her finger, another video began to play, but this time it was a live feed. Congresswoman Victoria Neuman was poised in front of an angry crowd, calling for justice. With a long, quiet exhale, Morgan closed her eyes and braced herself for impact.

“Wait… They’re protesting?” Homelander’s voice wavered between disbelief and a simmering anger as he stared at the live feed. “They’re protesting me?”

The camera panned over the crowd—hundreds of people holding signs, shouting, their faces twisted in anger. Neuman’s voice rang out clearly over the speakers as she condemned the reckless actions that led to an innocent life being taken.

Ashley flinched as Homelander snatched the tablet out of her hands, the plastic casing creaking under the pressure. Morgan could feel the panic rolling off him in waves, but it wasn’t just the fear of public backlash. It was the deeper wound—the idea that people were turning against him. 

“They can’t... They don’t know what they’re talking about,” he muttered, shaking his head as if trying to convince himself. “I was saving them. Those ingrates wouldn’t even be alive if it weren’t for me.”

“Homelander,” she said softly, stepping forward but keeping her tone measured. “It’s not about what you did—it’s about how it’s being framed. Neuman’s spinning this against you because she knows how much you mean to people. This isn’t just about you—it’s a power play.”

His eyes snapped to hers, the flicker of vulnerability vanishing as quickly as it had appeared. “A power play?” he echoed, a dangerous edge creeping back into his voice.

Morgan nodded, her heart pounding as she tried to keep him focused. “If you react out of anger, you’re playing right into her hands. They’re trying to paint you as reckless, but if you show restraint, if you get ahead of this, you can still own the narrative.”

Homelander’s jaw clenched, the tablet still trembling in his hand. For a moment, she wasn’t sure if he would listen or if the rage would consume him. His eyes darted back to the screen, the protesters’ chants echoing in the background. 

“They need me,” he muttered, almost to himself. “They don’t understand what I did for them.”

Morgan hesitated, then took a step closer. “Then show them. Show them who you are, but on your terms. You’ve always had the power—don’t let them take that from you.”

There was a long, heavy silence as Homelander processed her words, his gaze shifting between the live feed and her. The tension in his body didn’t ease, but his grip on the tablet loosened, if only slightly. He let out a sharp breath, his face still twisted in frustration but not the explosive anger she feared.

“Fine,” he growled, handing the tablet back to Ashley with a flick of his wrist. “Fix this. Spin it however you need to, but make sure Neuman knows she’s just painted a target on her back.”

Ashley gulped and nodded rapidly, her hands fumbling with the tablet. “Y-yes, of course. I’ll get the team on it right away.” Before she scurried off, she projected a quick and unsure mental ‘thank you,’ toward Morgan. 

Don’t thank me just yet, she warned her silently. Things seemed to be in hand for now, but the gears in Homelander’s head were still turning. Something in him was still deeply unsatisfied with the resolution they’d agreed upon.

The air between them was heavy with unspoken words. She could sense his emotions simmering just below the surface—anger, frustration, and something else. Something sharper, more focused. For a few seconds, neither of them said anything. Morgan glanced up at Homelander, waiting to see if he would voice his dissatisfaction. His jaw was tight, his eyes narrowed, but there was no immediate explosion of anger, no outburst.

“You did the right thing,” she said carefully, watching for any sign that her words would set him off. “By giving Ashley the chance to spin it. If you’d gone out there—”

“I know,” he cut in, his voice low and controlled, though there was a definitive edge to it. “You don’t need to remind me.”

Morgan nodded, falling silent. She didn’t push him further; she knew better than that. But there was a shift in the air. He wasn’t just angry anymore—he was thinking, calculating, and his focus landed squarely on her.

“You always know what to say, don’t you?” he asked, his tone softer now.

Morgan frowned slightly, taken off guard by the change in his demeanor. “I just know what makes sense in situations like this. If you’d stormed out there, it would’ve given Neuman exactly what she wants. You don’t want to give her that satisfaction.”

A slow smile crept across Homelander’s face, but it wasn’t the smug, triumphant grin she was used to. It was different. Almost… appreciative. “You think you have me all figured out, don’t you?”

“I wouldn’t go that far,” Morgan replied, her voice measured. “But I understand how the public sees you, and how easily things can get twisted. You have to be careful.”

Homelander’s gaze lingered on her for a moment, his blue eyes sharp, as if he was trying to peel back layers she wasn’t showing. “Careful,” he echoed, his voice soft but carrying weight. “Funny. You’re telling me to be careful, and yet you’re one of the few that’s not afraid to stand up to me.”

The silence between them grew thicker, more charged as Morgan floundered to find a good response. She could feel the shift in him—the way he looked at her, not just as someone who could manage a situation, but as someone who saw through the layers of power and persona. She wasn’t fawning over him, wasn’t trying to manipulate him–as far as he could see. She was different. He’d noticed it before, but now, after this moment of crisis, he was seeing her in a way he hadn’t before.

“You know,” he began, his tone almost playful now, but there was a glint of something more in his eyes, “I could get used to having you around like this. Not just when things need fixing, but... in general.”

Morgan raised an eyebrow, her instincts on high alert. She knew where this was heading, and she wasn’t sure if she was ready to face it. “I don’t think Vought hired me to be your personal advisor.”

Chuckling, he stepped closer, his presence overwhelming in its intensity. “No, but they hired you to be my handler, didn’t they?”

Morgan felt the weight of Homelander’s words hanging in the air, his gaze unrelenting, as if he were waiting for her to flinch or falter. But she didn’t. Instead, she took a slow breath, keeping her voice steady.

“I already told you, I’m not looking to control you,” she said, her tone just light enough to deflect the tension but still firm. “I’m just extending a helping hand.”

His smile widened, a predatory glint in his eyes. “A helping hand? Is that all?”

She held his gaze, keeping her expression calm, though she could feel the weight of his scrutiny pressing down on her. His interest in her felt dangerous. It wasn’t just growing, but she could sense it evolving into something new.

He stepped even closer this time, close enough that she could feel the warmth radiating off of him. It was a subtle but unmistakable reminder of just how easily he could overwhelm her. But Morgan didn’t flinch. 

“I think you’re doing just fine on your own,” she replied smoothly, her tone measured. “I’m just providing a little backup is all. You know, like a good teammate should.” 

Homelander tilted his head slightly, studying her with an intensity that made her pulse quicken. “I don’t need backup,” he said softly, taking another step closer, so close now that she had to crane her neck slightly to meet his eyes. “I don’t need anyone.”

The words hung in the air between them.. His gaze shifted, and something flickered behind his eyes—something more personal, more dangerous.

“But you,” he continued, his voice dropping even lower, “you stand apart from everyone else.”

Morgan swallowed but kept her expression neutral. “I’m just doing my job.”

His smile softened, but it sent a chill down her spine. “No,” he said quietly. “You’re doing more than that. You don’t try to control me. You don’t cower in fear. You stand your ground.”

There was a dangerous undercurrent to his words, but Morgan held his gaze, refusing to let him see the unease building inside her. “It’s just about mutual respect,” she replied smoothly, her tone calm but cautious. “That’s all.”

Homelander’s eyes flashed with amusement again, but the possessiveness in his smile deepened. “Respect,” he echoed. “You’re one of the few who’s earned it, Morgan.”

She could feel the shift in his tone, the way his gaze lingered on her a moment too long. It wasn’t just respect anymore—it was something darker, something that made her pulse thrum with quiet dread. She had worked so hard to stand her ground, to not be like the others who cowered in fear, but now she wondered if she had miscalculated. Had she drawn him in too close? She didn’t know what was worse—that he respected her, or that he seemed to want something more.

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” she replied cautiously, trying to keep the tone light.

“You should.” He smiled again, but there was a possessiveness in it now, a subtle claim that sent a chill down her spine. “I don’t say that to just anyone.”

“I’ll be sure to keep that in mind.” she murmured, struggling to find her voice for a moment. “But let’s not get too far off-track here. There’s still a fire to put out, and I don’t think lingering here at the movie lot is going to help.”

His expression faltered, the intensity in his eyes dimming slightly as her words pulled him back to the present. For a brief second, she could see the flicker of surprise—almost disappointment—at being reminded of the real world creeping back in. He had been so swept up in his own delight, in the surprise of her defending him. The shift in his focus was palpable.

“Right… We should go back to the tower.” His voice was quieter now, the earlier edge gone.We… That one, simple word suddenly felt like an anchor hung around her neck, dragging her into depths unknown. She didn’t want to be enemies anymore, that was for certain. Whatever it was he wanted them to be though–that was something she wasn’t entirely sure she could ever be ready for.

Song: I’m Not the One by The Black Keys Author’s notes: Last chapter, I planted a seed. This chapter, I feel, was the perfect place for it to take root in Homelander. Morgan has been starting to prove herself as an equal in his eyes, and now that she seems to be falling into the role of ally, he’s going to cling hard and fast to that.  Anyways, I’m excited for things to start picking up from here. I’m also starting to turn into some of the darker territory with things The Boys doesn’t shy away from. That said, if you have any specific triggers you’re worried about, you’re always welcome to shoot me an ask.

Next chapter.

[everywishway]

My Opinions on the Percy Jackson Show

Short answer: I like it, but I have issues with it to which i am mostly blaming Disney. I grew up with this series for a decade, it was my first fandom and I love the books so much so don't kill me pls. Overall, i prefer the musical to this (maybe im just a tech theatre nerd). I hope the show gets better as it continues. If you want the nitty-gritty of my opinions (why really) continue reading

Ok, issue number one is the pacing. Like, Holy Fucking Gods this was going a mile a minute. Even the movie had better pacing and these first two episodes are the same length as half of the Lightning Thief movie. Why is it running so fast like, baby, slow down, you can let us ruminate and have fun here.

Also, stemming from this is the lack of humor and wit compared to the book? Like, Percy is naturally charismatic, funny, and witty and so is Walker?! Like, he was in The Adam Project with Ryan Renolds and he managed to keep up and sometimes outwit him. like, watch interviews of this kid, he's so fucking funny. there were a few moments "my dad is jesus" and "should i try again" being the ones to stand out but those are few and far between and not even as funny as book percy???

I feel like this was Disney not giving Rick enough time and episodes (I think this season should've been 10 eps if not 12) then Rick going "I'm refusing to let certain things go" which inadvertently made the first two episodes feel dull to me?

If I had my say, the whole first chapter was an episode ending with Percy getting expelled, then episode two was him going home and seeing his mother and the minotaur, then episode 3 at camp with Clarise and maybe capture the flag starting. Episode 4 would be capture the flag, then percy gets claimed, then he gets assigned to go on the quest. Each episode would be a part of the quest (bus and Medusa #5, ST Louis Arch #6 (you could cut this episode), Ares #7, Lotus Hotel #8, Underworld #9&10, Ares VS Percy #11 and Luke's betrayal #12)

Finally, all of the kids don't feel like kids. Like, in The Lightning Thief Percy and Annabeth were bickering the whole time over stupid, petty things and I loved that, where is that here? That's so important for the series, why do they feel so bland?! They are talented actors, what is going on

What do I like though?

Sally Jackson, objectively. She was perfectly casted and she has so much love in her heart for her son, she is my queen, I love her so much

Camp is so pretty! Especially the Hermes cabin, which felt so comfy and warm, I love it. exactly what 12-year-old Blue daydreamed about.

PERCY OFFERING THE BLUE JELLY BEANS TO HIS MOM <3

there is other stuff too but I just wanted to get my opinions off my chest to stop myself from boiling over. Can't wait to see if the series improves from here (but im somehow certain the musical is gonna be better tho imo)

[wamtorical]

September - November 1890

Life was still steady and smooth for the Pence's, and money was as stable as ever. Though Claudia had run farms all her life, the introduction of farm animals was something she never knew she'd needed. Whether the chickens liked her or not, and whether the rabbits she watched all day even knew of her lingering presence, the company was swell while Elmer was busy at work. The incubation of the farm's first chick (whom she'd named 'Sonny') was a tricky process, but having now been introduced to the household next door and a few new faces from the neighboring town, she was learning how to take care of these curious critters down to the outright nitty gritty details.

In other news, Claudia had been keeping her eye on a certain stray cat for a few months, unable to ignore the lack of limb the feline possessed. Despite this, it seemed to manage fine - perhaps the animal was born with one less leg rather than having been victim to other more disturbing conclusions she'd pondered. It came out at night, presumably to hunt rodents, so if you'd wanted to see it roaming the streets you'd have to keep a steady watch for a three-legged, bright orange cat as soon as the clock struck twelve. Naturally, this is exactly what Claudia did.

The next morning, Elmer was woken up by his fatigued-looking wife and a questionable looking cat huddled in her arms. He merely sighed, stroked the newest addition to the family, and went back to sleep. Tibbles found comfort in fresh food and places to nap within the Pence household, but spent most of his days outside - not without causing a little mischief first, of course.

Tibbles - The Pence's three-legged feline ♂

Not long after Elmer left his mother alone with his father, letters started to come in. Through his replies he'd caught her up with everything that had happened since - admittedly not much - and she reciprocated the rush of communication by asking what had seemed like over a dozen questions, most of which comprised various variations of:

"Are the neighbours nice?"

"Elmer dear, how do you deal with the smell of the farm...?"

"Claudia has been feeding you well, yes? Lots of meat?"

"Have you thought about children yet? You know I'd so love to be a grandmother."

Ethel, on the other hand, stayed absolutely silent towards her side of the predicament. This mystery that surrounded her shut mouth attitude was later revealed to Elmer as shame - shame towards the act of adultery she'd committed. And the all too familiar vomiting. Elmer was shocked, of course, but found it hard to find a reason to hate Ethel for something he'd done sooner if he was his mother.

It was no secret to Elmer that Ethel had been seeing other men anyway. Naturally, the situation she found herself in was certainly still absurd, and worry filled thoughts flooded Elmer's brain; was his mother too old to bear children? Was it safe?

At the very least, this had meant they had another heir. Another one of Henry's money props. However, it did beg the recurring question about bearing children that was so heavily encouraged in society, despite their young age. While Elmer was neutral on the matter, Claudia was strictly adamant.

Contrary to what everyone had set in mind, Claudia had thought about the idea of being a mother every day. Still, if Claudia hadn't existed, if she hadn't been born, her mother would still be prospering today. Charlotte had forever reminded Claudia it wasn't her fault, but she was stubbornly positive it was and always would be, even if she couldn't control that eventual outcome. The overarching point was clear; who was to say the same thing that happened to Janet Deane wouldn't happen to her? Who was to say history wouldn't repeat itself?

During the 11 months Claudia and Elmer had lived in Brindleton Bay, both had befriended a small group of friends. There was Ruth and Jeanette who resided in Henford upon Baley, Anne from across the road and Alma from the nearby forest, who out of the four of them managed to somehow be able to conjure up the most helpful of advice that had most likely sprouted from living in a high-maintenance, run down cabin with twin babies (Minnie & Walter Reed) Strangely, the fact all her peers had children of their own only made her long more for the courage to have one herself.

Alma: "... So why haven't you? They can be troublesome little critters, but I assure you - they simply light up your life."

Claudia: "I'm afraid, Alma. My mother ... She had serious complications from my birth. It could happen to me - no, it could happen to any of us. Don't you find that awfully unfair?"

Alma: "You're saying she passed?" Claudia nodded and a frown became prominent upon Alma's face, deep thoughts swimming behind her dark eyes.

Alma: "I'm terribly sorry for your loss, Dear. I guess to me, as long as I birthed my own children, whether I lived or not, I would not truly die. Perhaps I'll pass this week from something as stupid as tripping over my own dress! Or in 40 years as anyone would long to. Either way, my legacy continues on forevermore. Do you see what I'm saying?"

By her 18th birthday on November 21st, 1890, Claudia had made up her mind after weeks of contemplation and treated her husband to a fun, late-night, much deserved, woohoo session. She brushed away the outcomes that could arise from her actions - Alma's words had really touched Claudia. If she now were to bare a child, well, to hell with it! Admittedly, Claudia had drank a few cheeky glasses of alcohol beforehand.

Her attitude, unsurprisingly, was not as careless and confident two weeks later as soon as the nausea began, confirming her lingering worries. Fear had rushed up to the surface again but Claudia recited what she'd been told and let herself relax in the comfort of her husbands presence. Whatever were to happen now, Claudia would have to brace herself. Deep breath in, Deep breath out. At the very least, Claudia's maternal instincts had kicked in and despite her anxiety a part of her was ecstatic that her very own child was inside of her, waiting to come out. If all went well, this would be the best thing to happen to her - Alongside Elmer, of course.

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