#Ace (totally definitely not crying): NO SHUT UP ITS FINE

[drdt-headcanons]

Ace is closeted Asexual and Gay. Even if he already came out to his classmates as Gay, he is not sure if he can reveal that part of himself. He is grossed out and uncomfortable whenever someone is making sex jokes about him - and his partner, if there is any - or asking who is top or who is bottom/would he be top or bottom. He doesn't like the idea of having sex nor having children and he barely felt and did "things" in his whole life.

It took lots of prodding and having him trust his classmates, but when he did came out as an Asexual, he was simply expecting everyone to brush it off like his parents and siblings. He was nearly in tears when in Pride Month, there was an Ace flag for him along with others' flags

:)

[thestarsaroundyourscars]

Please do prompt 64! Love that one!

64. “You’re cute, I’ll give you that. But not cute enough to get away with that!”

Read on AO3

"Damn it." Eddie cursed, running a hand down his face. "Why is this so hard?" 

Richie snorted, "That's what she said." He snickered without looking up from his homework.

Eddie threw an eraser at him. Then he glanced down at his notebook and let out a frustrated groan. "I don't know why I don't get it." 

They were both sitting on Eddie's bed, working on their physics homework. Well, Richie was working, Eddie was struggling to get past the first problem. 

Richie gently patted his knee. "It's alright Eds. This stuff can be complicated." 

"Not for you. You get it!" Eddie said, gesturing wildly at Richie's mostly finished worksheet. "And you don't even pay attention in class." 

Richie gasped dramatically. "Lies and slander!”

"Shut up." Eddie said with an amused smile. "Rich, I saw you sleep through the entire class last time."

"Only because I was tired after fucking your mom all night, Eds." 

Eddie rolled his eyes, balling up a piece of paper and throwing it at his friend’s face.

“Hey!” Richie complained, pausing to readjust his glasses. “You know, maybe if you didn’t spend the entire class watching me, then you’d actually get this stuff.”  

Eddie felt his face go hot, eyes darting away from Richie to stare at his lap instead. "I don't⎯ I don't do that." He stammered out.

And he didn't. 

Not all the time at least. But sometimes Eddie would get distracted in class and his eyes would drift to Richie, sitting next to him. 

Most of the time, it was easy to chalk it up to the fact that Richie was constantly moving and fidgeting, inevitably attracting Eddie’s attention but even when all Richie was doing was sleeping and drooling all over his notes, Eddie would end up staring at him. Those times, it was harder to pretend it had nothing to do with the huge crush he had on his best friend.

"Eds, it's okay." Richie said, giving Eddie a lopsided grin. "I know I'm irresistible."

"Fuck off.” Eddie scoffed pushing him lightly, the tips of his ears burning. “Back to my homework, can you help me please?" He asked, eager to change the subject. He gave Richie his best big doe eyes knowing, he couldn’t resist them. 

"Gladly, Eds my love.” Richie agreed right away, crawling towards Eddie on the bed. 

It was a struggle, but with Richie’s help Eddie was able to complete his homework. Though now, Eddie was worried he would fail their test next week without Richie there to help him. 

"I'm going to fucking fail." 

“You won’t fail, Eds.”

Eddie gave Richie a pointed look. 

“You won’t because,” Richie paused to pull out their practice book. "I'll help you study."

Eddie bit down a pleased little smile. "You don't have to that."

"Anything for you, Eddie baby." He said without missing a beat. “But when you ace the test next week, you'll owe me."

Richie would often help Eddie study, most of the time without asking for anything in return but occasionally he would ask for small things⎯ to buy him an ice cream the next time they walked by the shop or to be the first one to read Eddie’s new comic book, stuff that Eddie would give him even if he didn’t ask. Still, he heaved out a dramatic sigh, “What do you want?”

Richie didn't answer right away. When Eddie looked up at him, he was biting the inside of his cheek, seemingly nervous. He plastered on a sly grin once he noticed Eddie staring. “I want a kiss,” He said. “If you pass the test.”

Eddie faltered for a moment, trying to ignore the way his stomach fluttered at Richie’s words. Then he remembered this was Richie⎯ classic Richie and his jokes. 

“Fine, yeah. Whatever.” Eddie said playing along, knowing sooner or later Richie would tell him what he actually wanted. "Now, help me study before I gauge my eye out with this pencil." 

Two weeks later, Mr. Smith was slamming Eddie's physics test on his desk. Eddie slowly turned it around and gasped when he saw that, not only did he pass the test but actually got a B on it. Sure, it wasn’t the A that Richie was currently waving at him from his own seat, but he passed.

Oh shit. Eddie passed. 

I want a kiss, if you pass the test.

Eddie glanced at Richie⎯ who had occupied himself with doodling on his desk⎯ and his heart sped up in his chest, remembering their deal. It’s just a joke, he reminded himself, trying to calm himself so he wouldn’t panic in the middle of the class. It’s just a joke and, in the off chance that it wasn’t, Richie probably forgot about already. Eddie just had to be careful not to remind him. 

With that, Eddie shoved his test inside his bag and forced himself to keep his eyes on Mr. Smith until class let out. 

“Eds!” Richie called, catching up with Eddie in the hallway. He felt a body hurtle against him, an arm slung around his neck.

“Hey, Rich.” 

“So, how did you do? Did you pass?”

Eddie gave a little shrug. “Maybe.” 

Richie let out a long whiny, “Eddie.”

“Fine, I passed, I got a B in fact.”

“Fuck yeah, Eds!” Richie whooped, kissing the top of Eddie’s head. “I told you you could do it.”

A pleased smile curled along Eddie’s lips. He let Richie drag him towards the door, so he could walk Eddie home like he did every Tuesday after physics. 

The walk home was mostly uneventful, except for the fact that Richie was particularly jumpy, almost running straight into a telephone pole on more than one occasion. 

When they arrived at Eddie’s house, Richie walked him all the way to his front door. “Alright, Rich, I’ll see you tomorrow.” He said, like he did every week.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” Richie said, bouncing on his feet. 

“Uh.” Eddie raised a confused eyebrow at him. “Did you want to come in or something?”

Richie snorted, shaking his head. “Actually, I was talking about our little deal.” 

“Oh.” Eddie gasped, eyes widening. Well, just because Richie remembered, it didn’t mean he actually wanted⎯ right? No, definitely not. “Right. What do you want?”

“I already told you.” 

“I mean, what do you actually want?” Eddie asked, rolling his eyes. “I think I have a box of popsicles in the fridge, I guess you can have those.” He suggested, gesturing towards the house and missing the way Richie walked up to him, standing less than a foot away. 

“I don’t want the popsicles.” Richie said, drumming his fingers against his thigh. He licked his lips, a nervous smile briefly crossing his face. “I want a kiss.”

“Richie⎯” 

“You promised.” Richie said, stubbornly. 

“Fine.” Eddie said, standing on his tiptoes to press a short kiss on Richie’s cheek. “There you go.” He said, whirling around to open the door before Richie could notice his ears had turned red. 

“What? That was not a fucking kiss!” Richie whined, pouting and grabbing Eddie’s hand before he could escape inside the house. “Wait, Eds. You’re cute, I’ll give you that, but not cute enough to get away with that!”

Eddie huffed, hands flailing. “Why do you want to kiss me so bad?” 

Richie spluttered like a fish, before his face settled on a frown. “You promised.” He repeated, softer this time. “Is the idea of kissing me really that bad?” He added and it was probably the hurt look on Richie’s face that made Eddie grab the back of his neck and drag him down, closing the distance between them and kissing Richie, on the lips this time. It was a short kiss, lasting maybe a handful of seconds. It was also a little awkward because they didn’t really know what to do, but to Eddie it was still perfect, because it was Richie.

“Happy now?” Eddie asked after pulling away, unconsciously licking his lips. 

Richie followed the movement with his eyes, looking stunned for a moment before a dopey grin took its place. “Very happy.” 

Eddie bit down on his lower lip to fight off his own smile, worried about how much it could give away. “Shut up.”

“You know if you need any more help studying, you should tell me. It’d be my pleasure to assist.” Richie offered, grin faltering slightly. “Or, if you just want to⎯  you know, do that again or whatever.” 

“You want to do it again?” Eddie asked, unable to contain his surprise or the slight flutter of hope in his chest. 

“Uh, yeah.” Richie muttered, scrunching up his face. “Is that okay?”

This time Eddie didn’t fight off his smile, letting it light up his entire face. “Yeah. Yeah, that’s okay. Definitely okay.” 

Richie’s eyebrows shot up, before he smiled just as bright as Eddie.

“In fact,” Eddie paused, grabbing one of Richie’s hands. “I have some uh⎯ English homework that I could use some help with right now.”

Richie’s face slid into one of confusion, a crease forming between his eyebrows. “I don’t have English with you Eds, I don’t know how I can⎯”

“Richie.” Eddie cut in, giving him a look. His eyes widened the moment he realized. 

“Oh. Oh. You don’t⎯ Right, yeah okay.” Richie stammered out, flustered and unable to stop himself from smiling. Eddie shook his head while dragging him inside. “Yeah, I can totally help with that.”

Tag list: @daddyphantomtbh​​​​ @yes-dillman-yes​​ @richietoaster​​ ​ @beepbeeprichiellc​​ ​ @its-stranger-than-you-think​​ ​ @lemonaayyee​​ ​ @losers-gotta-stick-together​​ ​ @tinyarmedtrex​​ ​ @richiefuckfacetozier​​ ​ @sam-i-am2468​​ ​ @richardtoz​​ ​ @s-s-georgie​​ ​ @reddie-for-anything​​ ​ @eddiefuckinkaspbrak​​ ​ @constantreaderfool​​ ​ @stanleuyris​​ ​ @jesuschristsupruvestar​​ ​ @mirandonsky​​ ​ @reddie4diaster​​ @alargedepresso​​ ​ @purplepoisonedgem​​ ​ @pan-ini​​ ​ @reddie-to-cry​​​ @reddieforlove​​ ​ @trashmouthnick​​ ​ @multi-fandom-wby​​ ​ @wheezyeds​​ ​ @nancynwheeler​​ ​ @reddieslashgeneralhorror​​​​ @madi-personal​​ ​ @reddie-tozibrak​​​​ @lover-mouth​​ ​ @atownofeggs​​ ​ @that-weird-girls-blog​​ ​ @appojoos​​ ​ @castielwinovak​​ ​ @a-gay-treee​​​ @twoidiotsinl0ve​​ ​ @fcngirltrxsh​ @spirited-marvel​​ @typewrxter​ ​ (if you want to be added, let me know!)

[inupibaldspot]

Saviour : Chapter 22

Emilia sat on her bed and looked at her sword, a silver sword with a few blue orbs on the handle.

It was still surprising that Zack gave her such an important item to her.

*Knock knock *

"Emilia~ I'm coming in." Zack said as he then pushed the door open. He looked at the girl, who was no longer the tiny brat he first saw. She was growing taller and often teased him about catching up to him, and between you and Zack he was scared that she will grow taller than him. She also lost most of her baby fats. But one thing which always remained same was...

"Your hair is still a chaos isn't it?" Zack laughed making Emilia pout.

The girl brought her hands on her hair and glared. "Its not my fault that my hair is super wavy at the ends."

"Hahahahha" Zack laughed, crossing his arms on his chest. "I'm sure if the Devil Fruit users touch your hair it'll make them weak since it reminds them of waves."

Emilia placed the sword on her bed and she stood up as she continued glaring, hands made into a fist. "Claire told me my hair is pretty." She fought back.

"That because Claire always had a bad taste." The older main continued to tease the young girl, who was slowly turning red in frustration.

Hearing that Emilia smirked. "I can see that." She huffed,placing her hands on her hips. "Especially since she choose you as her fianceé."

Even though Zack growled, inside he was quite happy. It still made his heart beat faster with joy knowing he would marry Claire. After much hesitation and pushes from Emilia, he finally proposed. You have no idea how much he cried when she said 'yes'.

"Anyways.." the girl said. "Did you come in my room to tease me?" She questioned,smiling softly.

"No..." Zack said as she walked towards her and sat on her bed. "Its finally tomorrow...your test."

"Yes." Emilia nodded. "I may end up with you guys or Vice Admiral Tsuru's team."

"Oh yeahhh.." Zack sweat dropped. Vice-Admiral Tsuru's team always consisted of women plus the older women showed interest in Emilia when she previously came on the ship to have a talk with Garp. "But I hope you will join us"

"Oya! Emilia exclaimed." Are you getting sentimental now?" Emilia teased. Before she smiled softly.

"But I guess.. I hope that too."

....

"You will under go only two tests"  The instructor said.

Emilia looked around. There were probably around 100 people on the field but undoubtedly she was the youngest.

People around her sneered and others smirked in confidence when she saw her. Why was this tiny girl who didnt even look like she was in her teens doing here. Emilia didnt like this at all. She clenched her fist keeping her emotions in check. I'll show them.

"The first test involves running. You will be running around this field 5 time which totals up to 15 kilometres." The instructor said as he pointed at the field behind him. "Within 45 minutes. Failure to do accomplish that will lead to direct elimination."

This made people gasp. This task was totally close to impossible! But that the same time who ones who do complete it show that they are not normal.

"Second round is simply to check your strength. Here people will fight against each other until only one person remains."  In other words,its just like a tournament. "There are two reasons for this. One is to simply eliminate people who are fast but have no strength even though usually people who are also fast are also strong. Other is to see where you will be placed. The First half of Grand Line or  The New World."

"Is there any questions?"  The instructor asked. "If not we will begin shortly."

"Excuse me!"  A voice started making all the examines including Emilia turn towards the voice. There stood a middle aged man,on hand in the air. "Are small kids even allowed to enter the test?"

Emilia's eyes twitched as the man turned towards her , lips pulled into a smirk.

The examiner understanding what the examinee was implying turned his head towards Emilia and nodded in assurances. "As long as the examinee is 13 or older, its fine. Personally I believe in the end age still doesn't matter much as long as you have the strength,skill or intelligence."

"But~ " The examinee continued,in a singing voice. "That girl doesn't even look like she is 10. I mean look at how small she is!" The comments made people around him laugh,some even adding remarks of their own.

Having enough Emilia turned towards the man with a glare. The examinee still smirking "Oh is the baby mad? Are you going to cry? Make sure you-"

"Enough!"  The examiner interrupted. "If you continue with this useless talk we may ask you to leave. If that is clear we will begin. You now may go towards there." He pointed towards the corner of the fields where a white line was drawn on the ground.

"Ready?" Another examine shouted in a loud voice. "GO!"

Emilia ran and she did not mess around. Covering her legs in haki she sprinted and leaving all other examinee to dust and with no surprise ended up completing the task first, will 30 minutes more to spare.

And as petty as it may sound she sat near the finish line, giving a smug smile at the examinee who made fun of her.

Soon the other examinee crossed the line one by one and completed trail. Of 100 examines now only 32 remained.

After that everyone was separated into a duo, each match examined by one examiner marine.

"Remember we won't intervene unless one of the participants say "give up" or unless we see injuries which might kill you. We are here to select only the strong, be it physically or mentally."

All of Emilia's match was short, all those training in Goa Kingdom plus the hard training of Garp's and Bogard's for the past 4 years made her strong than she already was.

"I give up!"

Emilia stood up, leaving the man below her on the ground and then looked towards the man who made fun of her earlier. The man was mercilessly kicking and stomping the guy who was given no chance to utter the  words 'give up'.

And this made Emilia frown.

....

"Okay! The last two remaining are Kusota" Emilia finally knew that bastard's name " and Emilia.Now...Start!"

Immediately Emilia jumped back making sure there was a distance between them. "Before we actually start fighting, I have a question." Emilia said carefully assessing the man's movements so that he would not be able to do any surprise attacks.

"What is it?" The man smirked,hands brought up placing on his hips. He was underestimating her!

"Your previous opponents." Emilia started. "Why were you making them suffer so much? You made sure they could not talk by breaking their jaws so they could not surrender. Then you proceeded to beat them up until you got bored."

Emilia then hardened her arms and legs using haki as the man walked towards her in a slow pace. "I can't imagine a guy like you being a marine."

And at once the man sped up, surprising Emilia and punched at her directing at her face. Fortunately the girl brought her hand up blocking with with her haki.

"Because if you are a marine you got power." The man whispered so that the conversation could only be heard by the two of them. "When power you are able to do anything. And with my strength I'm pretty confident I will be achieve a high rank."

Emilia felt uncomfortable, very uncomfortable with how the man in front of her was. He seemed to ooze out evil and malice.

"And when that happens, I'll be rich and have any woman I want. Of course not because of my pay but rather other things...you know" The man smirked. "Through kidnapping, human trafficking and ra-"

Emilia threw a punch but then Kusota dodged it. Then man continued to speak. "And you know I'll never be arrested. Why? Because I'll have the power and can call off any search and silence any suspicions."

Emilia ran in front of him swiftly and before be could react she jumped and kicked his face.

The blow made the man fly making the people watching gasps.

"You little shit!" The man shouted as he propped himself up. His nose was bleeding, it probably broke. "You know what?! I'll start by beating you to pulp" he shouted, as wobbled standing up.

His ego was definitely hurt.

"And when this is all over. I'll go after the people you care about next." Kusota said,hand wiping the blood of his nose. "And do all those things to them and make sure you will never see or hear from them again." He hissed.

People I care about?  Emilia thought. He mind immediately went to Luffy ,Ace, Makino, Dadan, Claire and Zack.

To those people who have nothing but kind to her.

Her eyes narrowed. And seeing the girl react to his taunts, the man started laughing. "HAHAHA How you like that now?! You-"

But before he could even finish his sentence Emilia was literally in front of him.

"Wha-"

Emilia then directly brought her hands up and punched him on his jaws making him fall down from the impact. "If I remember correctly that's how you dislocated the jaws right?" The girl spoke coldly.

"Strup oup!!!" The man tried speaking but words weren't coming out correct confirming that his jaws were indeed dislocated.

Emilia walked towards the fallen man and kicked him on his stomach making the man throw up blood. She tilted her head. "Huh? I thought you were going to beat me to pulp"

"I'll kirl you!!" The man continued dispute his injury. "I'll marke sure do kirll evryon asroticated wirth you tdo!!!"

Emilia mind went to Sabo. Her precious friend was killed. And now if she let go of this man here, he might do the same to others.... to Luffy and Ace. This man was strong, even Blue Jam didn't seem much of a threat compared to him.

This man had the power to kill Luffy and Ace.

And she might not be there by their saide to protect them due to her marine duties.

Emilia's eyes narrowed furthered and walked towards him.  This ...this man is  a threat,that means she should kill him right now !

" Candidate Emilia" The marine watching shouted. "The match is over. Candidate Kusota might die if you continue."

"Shut up..." Emilia said in a soft voice. And immediately after that other candidates and also some examinee immediately fell down. The girl used conquers haki!

Standing near the man, Emilia kick him making him now lie on his stomach. She won't let Sabo's incident repeat! She wont let any of the people precious to her get killed, even if it means killing other people.

Sitting near the guy, she held the man's hand and pulled it backwards immediately making a breaking sound.

"Ahhhh!" The man shouted in pain. "please..please.. please stop! I'll do anything-" The man stopped.

Emilia then held his other hand. "Huh? But that wasn't what you said to me earlier"

"Candidate Emilia. I repeat! Stop immediately. Forget passing the test you will be placed behind bars!" An examiner who was on the ground shouted,still a bit too weak to stand up.

Emilia did hear him but choose to ignore him. She grabbed his hands ,with intentions of breaking them , when suddenly a presence came near her immediately and held her hand.

Emilia stopped immediately. Not because she wanted to but because she could sense the level in between the person and her were far too wide.

"Admiral Akainu!"

"Medics!" The examiner called and a group of people in marine uniform came rushing in directly towards Kusota. Emilia simply stood up and gave space for the medic. In front for great power she had no choice but to be docile.

One of the examiner stood up and walked towards Akainu and saluted. "What brings the Admiral here?"

Akainu turned his head and looked at Emilia making her eyes widened in recognition. This man...this man is the one who will be killing Ace..!

" I came here to recruit her on the team." Akainu simply said. Emilia stood there in shock. She could attack him right her, right now!... but then it wont be of any use since she is far too weak.

"I apologize." The examiner said. "But seeing what had happened in front of us, we wont be able to pass candidate Emilia.She ignored all of our warnings and almost killed a candidate"

"She knocked out almost every one here and right now she is simply a child." Akainu said. "She has the potential to get stronger and will be a wonderful asset to the marine in the future. I say we should pass her."

The examiner clenched his fist. This girl is far too dangerous "But-"

"I said." Akainu's voice thundered as everything went silent. "We will pass her. Make sure she is assigned to my team."

With that the man turn and walked away.

....

Emilia walked back to Garp's ship ,head held down. Even though she didn't look , she could feel the people of the ship stare at her return. There was no doubt they were informed of Emilia's action.

"Emilia-" Garp said faking a smile, noticing the girls angered expression. He could lecture her later because right now the girl didn't look like she would want to deal with any of that.

"I'm sorry, Garp-san." The girl said in a low voice and bowed towards Garp in apology. "I want to be alone for a bit." With that she walked away towards her room.

No one spoke for a whole before Zack started walking towards Emilia's room. "I'll talk with her,Vice admiral."

Zack stood in front of her room and took in a deep inhale,knocked and walked inside. He looked at the girl who still had her head down and then closed the door behind him.

"The man you attacked-" Zack said. The girl in front noticeably stiffened uncomfortably. "He didn't die. But then on of his arms will no longer be functional. He might also not be able to talk properly ever again." Zack explained, looking at Emilia with a sad expression.

She must be feeling guilty. Zack's thoughts were immediately stopped when he saw the girls shoulder shake. She was crying  "Emilia calm down-"

"Hahahhaha" the girl laughed. "That's what he deserves.."

Zack took a step back. "What do you mean...The man almost died because of you."

Emilia finally raised her head. "That man was evil...He had no right to be a marine."

"But you were about to be the same thing... You would have killed someone if Admiral Akainu didn't intervene." Zack repeated his point again.

"Maybe he shouldn't have intervened."

When Emilia said those words,something within Zack finally snapped. " We are talking about a human life here, Emilia!"

Emilia's eyes widened. This was the first time she had seen Zack shout.

"You can't take life for granted. And if you do kill a person, even if that person is evil, or you belong in the marine, where we have to serve justice... Once you kill someone you are simply a murderer !  You're hands will forever be dyed red."

"Then what was I supposed to do?!" The young girl shouted back. "Was I simply going to accept that man. That man who was already telling his motives of human trafficking! Rape! And corruption?!"

"Should I have just let that happen...? " Emilia let out an shaky exhale. "He threatened to kill people...people who are precious to me..."

Zack watched as Emilia's eyes filled with tears. This girl...She..

"He threatened that he would kill Ace...Luffy and Grandpa ... Dadan and Makino..." Zack didn't know most of the names being said but he guessed those were the people she cared for.

"He threatened to kill Claire." Emilia noticed that she now started crying. "And you, Zack!!  I couldn't let that pass.. I don't want to lose anyone precious to me anymore..!"

Anymore... Zack registered those words , his head hanging low.

Zack walked slowly towards the girl. She was scared..  She was afraid and didn't know how to deal with the situation... She just didn't want to lose anyone..

Zack then kneeled down and pulled Emilia into a hug. "Its fine... No one will hurt anyone of us now..I'm fine...it's fine.."

Zack continued to hug Emilia, The girl slowly lifted her hands then on his shirt then slowly holding it tightly as sobs slowly started turning into wailing.

She was just scared...and confused.

[mldrgrl]

Do you take prompts? I have this idea rattling around in my brain and you are one of my favorite fanfic writers so here goes. Its a season 8 finale AU where Mulder and Scully raise William. William is going to his senior prom and Scully teaches him how to dance. Mulder watches from a distance, they don't know he's watching them, and then after a while Mulder comes over to "cut in".

Yes, I do take prompts.  My vision went a little differently from yours, but I hope it’s still what you want!  I set it in my Little Will universe because it could slide in there pretty easily after They Grow Up So Fast.  (And, in all honestly, will probably make more sense if you read that first)

Title: How’s About a DanceAuthor: mldrgrlRating: PGSummary: see above :D

One of the most exasperating ways that Will was like his mother, Mulder decided, was his habit of not saying anything when there was a lot to say.  Like Scully, he had this habit of evading topics and trying to make his poor father guess at what he was thinking.  But, after eleven years of being the kid’s father, and almost twenty at being Scully’s partner, he’d finally picked up a few tricks.

Number one, neither of them could stand being ignored.  When they said “I’m fine,” needling or arguing about it got him nowhere.  Shrugging his shoulders and feigning disinterest could open the floodgates.

Number two, do not ask direct questions.  Don’t ever ask what’s wrong, don’t ever ask for more information.  Wait for them to start, pepper the conversation with things like “oh?” or “yeah?”  Simple, one-word responses kept things going.

Number three, and this one was tricky, do not offer advice without being asked.  Nothing could shut down a conversation faster than a well-meaning “maybe you should…”

And so, Mulder was pretty well-prepared when Will came poking around in his office, pretending to quietly browse the books on the shelves while casting less-than-furtive glances in his dad’s direction.  Mulder continued working on his article and ignored his son.  He wasn’t really ignoring him though.  In fact, he’d typed the same sentence more than once because he couldn’t really focus knowing something was wrong and not knowing what it was.

“Whatcha workin’ on?” Will asked.

“New article on the myths of the Salem witch trials,” Mulder answered.

“Cool.”  Will nodded and ran his index finger along the side edge of Mulder’s desk.  “Can we go to Salem one day?”

“Sure.”

“Cool.  Oh hey, I got a 95 on my vocab test.”

“What’d you miss?”

“Utmost versus upmost.”

“Thought you knew that one.”

“I did, until both sentences made total sense.

“You can’t ace ‘em all, pal.”

Will sighed.  “Ruined my streak though, which really pi…ticks me off.”

“Yeah, I hear ya.”

Will turned and ran his finger the opposite way along Mulder’s desk.  Missing a question or two on a test always annoyed Will, but Mulder knew that wasn’t the problem.  He typed some more and then studied his scribblings on one of his notepads.  

“So, um,” Will said.  “Sixth grade is kinda different.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, you know, the different classes and stuff.  All the different teachers.”

“Sure.”  Mulder nodded, glanced at Will, and then flipped the page over on his notepad.  Now, they were getting somewhere.  Something to do with school, maybe a teacher, maybe a bully, but definitely school.

“And they do stuff, you know, like dances and stuff.”

Aha!  “Yeah, I remember those.”

“Do you?”

Mulder looked at Will over the top of his glasses.  “I’m not that old, son.”

“I mean, I didn’t know you had dances in school.  You never said.”

“Guess I didn’t think about it.”

“Oh.”  Will chewed on his bottom lip for a moment, the same way his mother did when she was trying to formulate a thought.

Mulder itched to ask him to elaborate.  He missed the days when he could pull the boy onto his lap and tickle the trouble away.  Growing up was a bittersweet thing.  As much as he loved seeing his son mature, he also missed the silly, cuddly little toddler he once was.  And the days where the most complicated problem to solve was a broken crayon.

The conversation stalled, so Mulder took a chance.  “When is it?” he asked.

“When is what?”

“The dance.”

“Oh.  Um, next Friday.”

“Well, if you need me to sign a permission slip to attend, I’ll sign it.  As long as your homework’s done.”

“Da-ad.”  Will rolled his eyes a little.

“What?”

“I always do my homework.”

“I know you do.”

There was a lull in the conversation again, but Mulder felt more confident there was more to come and he wouldn’t have to prompt Will any further.  Sure enough, the silence that followed was short-lived.

“I’m gonna ask Lexi to go with me,” Will blurted out, his voice a little higher than normal.  

All things considered, Mulder’s first thought was that he deserved an award for keeping the expression on his face so neutral.  He was both laughing and crying inside, but he couldn’t let it show.  He bobbed his head a little awkwardly for a few moments and had to clear his throat before his voice would work.

“That’s great, buddy.”

“I mean, you know…”  Will dropped his eyes and scratched at the corner of Mulder’s desk.  “Some of the guys think it’s kind of lame.”

Cody Prescott, probably, Mulder thought.  With his fucking bowtie.  “Well, what do you think?” he asked.

Will chewed his lip again and Scully’s look of distress came over his face.  “It’s just that, I don’t know how to dance, you know?  I don’t want to look stupid and I don’t want Lexi to think I’m lame.”

“Oh.”

“Maybe I shouldn’t go.”

“Come on, come with me.”  

Mulder pulled his glasses off, threw his notepad down on his desk and stood.  He put his hand on Will’s shoulder and steered him out the door towards the living room.  When he’d gone into his office that morning, Scully had been engrossed with something on her tablet as she lounged on the couch.  She was still there, still engrossed, but she looked up when Mulder and Will shuffled in.

“We need you,” Mulder said, holding his hand out to his wife and beckoning her up from the couch.

“I told you,” she said, batting his hand away.  “You’re on your own for lunch, I’ll broil the salmon for dinner.”

“It’s not about lunch.”

“Is this a trick?”  She shot a skeptical eyebrow up and looked from Mulder to Will.

Mulder grabbed her hand and gave it a tug.  “Get over here, Scully.”

Scully let Mulder pull her to her feet.  He locked their fingers together and held her hand up high by her shoulder before he set his other hand on her hip and walked her backwards, away from the couch.

“First lesson, Will,” Mulder said.  “Never look at your feet.  You look at your feet, it’s over.”

“What are we doing?” Scully asked.

“The boy wonder over there is in need of some dance lessons.”

“Why is he in need of dance lessons?”

“He has a dance to go to.”

“A dance?”  Scully tried to break free from Mulder, but he squeezed her hand and pulled her closer, shaking his head a little.

“Watch and learn, junior.”

Mulder swayed Scully slowly.  She was distracted, trying to look past him at Will, but he would purposefully shift and block her view.  Finally, he took his hand off her hip and brushed a curled finger under her chin to get her attention.

“Don’t look at your feet,” Mulder reiterated.  “Keep your eyes on your partner.  It’ll help you not to get tripped up and the view is much nicer.”

Scully rolled her eyes, but fortunately her back was to Will.  Mulder winked at him and danced them back away from the couch, then forward again.

“Your job is to lead and trust her to follow,” Mulder said, dancing them closer to Will.

Will had his bottom lip caught between his teeth, the tip of his tongue poking out of the corner of his mouth in concentration as he watched his father’s feet.  His arm was slightly up, wrist tipped back and fingers spread and curved like he was holding an invisible hand.  He shuffled back and forth with small steps next to the couch, moving without going anywhere.  Mulder let go of Scully’s hip and turned her away from him.  When his arm cleared her head and she was facing Will, he released her hand and stepped away.

“Your turn, buddy,” Mulder said.

“What?” Will asked, blinking up at Mulder.

“Can’t learn without trying.  Dance with your mom.”

“Da-ad.”  Will’s cheeks darkened with embarrassment.

“Hey,” Scully said, putting her hand up for Will to take.  “I happen to be an excellent partner.”

“She is,” Mulder agreed.  “The best of the best.  How can you dance with Lexi if you can’t even dance with mom?”

“Lexi!”  Scully smiled broadly as Will ducked his head.  “Did you ask Lexi to the dance?”

“Yeah,” Will mumbled.  “You don’t have to make a big deal about it.”

“No one’s making a big deal about anything,” Mulder said, shaking his head at Scully in warning.  He took Will’s hand and put it on Scully’s hip and brought Scully’s hand to Will’s shoulder.  The boy was still slightly smaller than Scully by about two inches, but he had Mulder’s lankiness which implied he was going to shoot up soon.

“Now what?”  Will’s arms were stiff and straight.  He was standing too far from Scully, but he looked wary of moving closer.

“Relax,” Mulder said, shaking Will’s arms from behind him to loosen him up.  When that didn’t work, he tickled his sides, which caused him to break apart and laugh.  He drew his arms into his sides to protect himself from the assault and Mulder hugged him from behind for a brief moment and patted his arms.

Scully cleared her throat, arms still in a dance frame.  “I believe I’m owed a dance here.”

Will put his hand back on Scully’s hip and laced his fingers with hers.  He was much more relaxed the second time around and not so stiff.

“Do I have to get all close and stuff?” Will asked.

“No,” Mulder said.  “You can dance closer when you’re…taller.”

Scully chuckled.  

“Do I step forward or backward?” Will asked.

“Try forward to start with,” Mulder answered.  “Remember, look at your partner, not at your feet.  Lead with your eyes.  Be confident.”

Will hesitantly moved his feet, second-guessing every step he took.  Scully tried to follow his lead, but it didn’t work so well when he didn’t know where he was going.  They stepped on each other’s feet several times and Will kept apologizing, his cheeks growing pinker by the second.  

“I suck at this,” Will declared.

“It’s your first dance,” Mulder said.  “Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

“You’re doing great,” Scully added, laughing when Will tripped into her before she even finished the compliment.

Will laughed along with Scully, giving up on letting his stumbles bother him.  They more they both laughed, the less he messed up.  He finally grinned when a full minute passed without him stepping on one of Scully’s feet.

“I think I can do it!” Will cried.

Mulder tapped on his son’s shoulder.  “May I cut in?” he asked.

“That means you want to dance with mom too, right?”

“Sure does.”

Wil stopped, but his brows came together as he let Scully’s hand go.  “If some guy asks if he can cut in and you don’t want him to, what do you say?”

“Depends on how good your aim is,” Mulder answered.

“Mulder!” Scully scolded, smacking him on the arm as he wrapped them around her waist.  She turned to Will even as she swayed in Mulder’s arms.  “The best thing to do would be to ask your partner if she minds.  Leave it up to her.”

“What if she says okay?”

“Cut back in on the next one,” Mulder said.  “Pray that the other guy has two left feet.”

“I’m gonna go practice.”  Will put his arms up and danced his way out of the room.

“Lexi?” Scully asked when Will was out of earshot.  “He asked her?  She said yes?”

“Seems so.”

“Hm.”  

“Something wrong?”

“Well, you know, I don’t want it to ruin their friendship.”

Mulder groaned.  “Where have I heard that argument before?”

“It’s important to think about.”

“It’s a school dance.  Besides, you know, Mulder men like the slow burn.  We only make moves every seven years.”

Scully tipped her head back and her brows lifted.  “Are you insinuating that you made the first move?”

“You were just picking up on all the signals I was sending.”

“Sure.”

“How are you feeling?”

Scully moved a hand down to her abdomen and splayed her fingers over the small bump low on her belly that had only recently begun to show.  “Not as queasy as I was this morning.  The crackers helped.”

“Mm.”  Mulder put his hand over Scully’s and leaned down to rest his forehead against hers.

“I think we should tell Will after the next appointment.”

“That’s the ultrasound?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay.”

“Don’t wait until this one’s ready for his or her first school dance to do this again, okay?”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s been awhile since we’ve done this.”

Mulder curled his fingers through Scully’s and brought her hand up to kiss the underside of her wrist.  She laid her head against his chest and closed her eyes as they continued to dance.

The End

[bwicblog]

>KUANFU: Bother Alexar.

After Kuanfu starts bragging about sleeping with Kyviar, one of Alexar's terrifying exes - and matesprit at that time - in the public chat, Alexar gets curious and tries to ask Kua his name and age. Kua responds by lying, requesting the same - and taking it to PMs when Alexar won't give him the answers he wants.

-- ayeayeCaptain [AC] is now messaging grantonCleaver [GC]! --

AC: haha, holy shit, what a name. GC: {uh} AC: i was totally going to make a joke, but you know what, dude? no. no, that's pretty cool. AC: good on you. bloodthirsty.. but adorable. adorabloodthirsty? man, my name feels totally lame, now. AC: but wait, shit, let's stay on topic. AC: how are you? GC: {uh} GC: {im fine} GC: {just you know} GC: {chillin} GC: {uh how about you} AC: awww, dude. am i making you nervous? because that is, like, totally not my intentions here. i am sorry. AC: i am currently raiding a boat! i should be doing paperwork while i am stuck down here, but. well. AC: there's nothing like the wind in your hair and blood on your deck, right? GC: {dude i dont think i know your name beyond kua and weve had like one conversation} GC: {i dont know why youre messaging me right now} AC: huh, the uh's cleared up pretty quick. AC: and i am pretty sure we have had way more than one conversation, dude. AC: isn't that why you were asking my name? GC: {pretty sure we havent} GC: {and i was just curious} AC: dude, you are so rude. like, on every level. and i know i should not take it personally, but at the same time, i am kind of hurt, considering i have been nothing but really friendly and helpful. AC: what flarp group are you part of?(edited) GC: {uh i dont remember its been ages and we changed captains and names a ton} GC: {i think once we were something like the raging boars once or something or other} GC: {yknow just flarp stuff} GC: {why} AC: because kyviar was kind of a huge fucking monster, so it's sort of weird anyone was hanging around discussing her schticks. AC: or did you all just, like, have a thing for genocidal mutants?(edited) GC: {well i mean you sort of answered your own question} GC: {she was a huge fucking monster who was a genocidal mutant} GC: {so you tell me how that didnt get the fuck around} AC: i gotta say, i never sat around talking about what the leviathan's get are up to, with their giant murder snake. everyone's always just been like "oh, shit, it's a giant snake and their horrible owner!" AC: not, like, "oh, damn, let's discuss the means of their murdering everything they can put their pink hands on!" AC: but don't get me wrong, that's a cool hobby. AC: what all did you hear about her? GC: {uh well} GC: {first of all i dont really see why youre asking me about all of this like i was just a shitty pirate flarper okay like i did that for a few sweeps and then ducked out and now i work in a bakery} GC: {second of all well i mean i heard a bunch} GC: {heard she was a mutant and wasnt afraid of it and usually tried to get people to kill her i heard she slaughtered nearly every town she went through unless they could pay up money} GC: {heard she liked to paint things black to match her blood and set shit on fire} GC: {you know the basics} AC: i don't know, dude. why'd you ask me my age and name, then refuse to give yours? AC: it makes people curious! GC: {because i was trying to remember if she had any allies or anything and that was what like} GC: {ages ago or something right} AC: and oh jeez, that's a lot. holy shit, you're a big fan. probably for the best you never met her, she'd have been so mad. GC: {at least three sweeps before she disappeared off the waters} GC: {didnt she get killed or something} GC: {its a bit murky} AC: haha, where'd you hear that? GC: {rumors} AC: nah, dude, she's totally still tooling around in space, like everyone our age. and she totally had allies! loads and loads of them. AC: but i guess that didn't get put down on your creepy fansites, right? GC: GC: {seriously?} AC: uhhh. AC: i said like three things there, dude. GC: {shes still fucking alive?} AC: haha, why do you care? GC: {shes a blackblooded mutant who got her kicks off of pirating and killing people the fact that shes still kicking it is baffling}(edited) AC: half of us got our kicks off of pirating and killing people, i just don't think that's very outstanding. GC: {you know what i mean} AC: you know what, i totally don't. AC: could you explain? GC: {wow okay fine} GC: {let me bold it} GC: {blackblooded mutant} GC: {still alive} GC: {kicking it} AC: because just between the two of us, i have to admit, i kind of am sur AC: oh shit, hold on, someone gave this pupa a gun and that's just unnecessary. GC: {haha what} AC: there we go! AC: sorry, we are back from these brief technical difficulties. AC: and it's not that weird, dude, she shouldn't have even got out of the caverns. GC: {did you just cull the shit out of a pupa while talking to me} AC: but tell you what! since you are such a fan, and you are so flabbergasted, i will AC: AC: what the fuck, no. AC: why would you even ask that? GC: {i am currently raiding a boat! there's nothing like the wind in your hair and blood on your deck, right? } AC: what sort of an asshole kills pupas? GC: {kyviar did and didnt you bang her} AC: no, i put him in the hold, and someone will put his lusus in there with him when they find it. jeez. AC: what i was going to say, before you hopped on that awful train of thought, was: AC: tell you what, i bet i could totally get you her autograph for your weird planetary fanclub, if you want. GC: {uh} GC: {sure why not} AC: great! who should she sign it to? GC: {just do gc that works well enough} AC: yeah, no, i am not going to go up to her and be like hey, please don't shoot me, i have a great idea! why don't you sign this photo and put it to gc? AC: i definitely am not going to smudge out a line and make it ac, so i can keep it on my mantle like a creep. AC: that is just something i would never do. GC: {fuck fine okay} GC: {put down something like idk} GC: {ronado} AC: you want an autograph from her to.. a fake name. AC: okay, wow, you are just steadily making this weirder. GC:{oh yeah sure im making this weird!} AC: i did not think that was possible, but that's okay. you've achieved it. good job, i think, except imagine I am totally saying that in the most concerned way possible. AC: jeez, dude, can't you even let me fujoshi transcribing before you're interrupting? GC: AC: finish. GC: {fu} GC: {fujoshi} GC: {okay so now youre the one making it weird here} AC: look, it gets ahead of itself, sometimes. GC: {you just took it into weird territory} AC: why do you even know what that word means? GC: {should i be getting an ash in here to help moderate things i feel like im being poorly pitchflirted with now} AC: i don't know what it means. AC: also, ew. i am sixteen, thanks. GC: {yeah so youre only sixteen} AC: only sixteen? AC: well, shit, how old are your usual pitchflirts? GC: {uh like ten and up usually} GC: {i dont date pupas} AC: haha, wow, i thought you were a pupa, dude. AC: are you saying you are not actually eight? GC: {no im not eight thank you very much} AC: so you are older than ten. AC: but younger than sixteen? GC: {why do i feel like im getting interrogated here} GC: {quit it!} GC: {why are you so interested in me!} AC: well, you accused me of terrible pitchflirting, dude. if that's the case, i can actually pitchflirt, and defend my pitchy honor, but i will feel morally questionable if you're under eleven.(edited) AC: that is just my own personal standards. GC: {take your pitchflirting elsewhere} GC: {im good in my quads} GC: {thank you im flattered youre interested} GC: {hit me up in like a sweep or two maybe ill have a free quad then idk idek} AC: haha, okay, you're making this weird again. GC: {you made it weird} AC: but i am starting to think that's your specialty, so that's okay. AC: you accused me of pitchflirting, man. badly. AC: all i am doing is asking questions about someone who is a creepy fan of someone that i knew, and attempting to further the fun social connection we have built. AC: after all, you have my name, my age, my creepy pirate pal's name, and my hobbies, i just thought it would be nice to know something about you, too. GC: {ok how about this we just kind of take all of this weird pitchflirty goodness and shove it into a box and close up the box and duct tape it shut and i dont know} AC: doubledots sad underscore face doubledots GC: {throw it into an industrial blender and move on} GC: GC: {what} GC: {double dots} AC: holy shit, how can i pitchflirt with you over the internet? i am not even fucking with you, i am genuinely curious. GC: { :_(: ?} GC: {oh wait} AC: like, i don't know what you look like. you could be hideous. GC: { :sad_face: }(edited) AC: no, you know - AC: yes! GC: {it doesnt fucking work} AC: yes, so why do you keep assuming it? GC: { :cry: } GC: {is that what youre trying to make} GC: {because its : cry :} AC: i don't want it crying. you do not, sadly, invoke that much emotion. GC: {also what did i just fucking say} AC: i want it frowning. GC: {put the weird pitchflirting in the box and sacrifice it to the blender} GC: {no if ands or buts} AC: AC: AC: i am not AC: AC: i am genuinely just very thrown right now! i don't even know what to say! like, honestly, i am supposed to be checking the last areas, but instead, i am standing here, one hand on my mouth, kind of just marvelling at the sheer levels of what the fuck i am feeling right now. GC: {what did i just fucking say} AC: i am not pitchflirting, holy shit. AC: what do i have to do to convince you this is entirely platonic overtures of friendship and camadery? GC: {stop being weird at me} AC: okay, fine. AC: are you going to continue hiding your name like a huge weird coward? GC: {whats yours} AC: mighty. GC: {ronado} AC: dude, you flat out admitted that is not your name. GC: {dont fucking diss my name} AC: so now we have moved onto weirdo coward who can't lie. GC: {what the fuck} AC: that is cool, i will totally just ask someone else. i'm sure someone in here knows it, right? GC: {ill go asking around too why dont i} AC: yes, sure, go ask aa. i have been pretty consistent with the mighty thing. given, you know, it is my name. AC: it's funny how not lying works.

Kuanfu does, in fact, go to ask someone else - Merrem, over in #highbloods.

AC: hey, what's gc's name? AC: if you don't know who that is, he is one of the greens.(edited) CC: who. AC: iunno, he's one of the jades! hackon cleaver. AC: wait, no, it has a g. AC: grafting cleaner? AC: grafting.. cleaver. AC: there we go, that sounds right. CC: ...huh. CC: no fucking idea who that is. CC: let me go and back read that for you. CC: aint like ive got a thing to do thats better. CC: ...why you wanna know? AC: see, this is why you are my favourite person in this chat, as of this exact moment, right now. AC: he keeps asking me questions and then, like, refusing to answer mine? it's really rude. AC: and weird. AC: he also said i am pitchflirting, and, wow, no. how are you supposed to pitchflirt on the internet, merrem? AC: it just doesn't work. AC: that's how you end up in a back alley with scabies. AC: that is a bad end. CC: damn. CC: aint that some flattery. CC: you sure he aint flirting pitch with you, and trynna accuse you of the same? CC: cause its sounding like it. CC: and alexar. BI: Scabbies... that's a new one. :thinking: BI: You leave social circles for like, two whole minutes and you miss out on all sorts of new things. CC: like the scabies? AC: god, i hope not! AC: or i guess it could be i hope so, if he's attractive, but, like, he stuttertypes. i just don't know if i can hate a man that stuttertypes. AC: and yeah, scabies are a real danger to shady internet hookups, i am told.

The discussion of scabies, shady internet hookups, and whether or not BI/Bijoux is a pale floozy continues, but in PMs:

GC: {sure why not} GC: {wait which aa} AC: uh, the brown one? GC: GC: {which aa} GC: {i think theres two brown ones} AC: AC: wow, brown is an uncreative colour. AC: the one with the really shitty quirk, dude. AC: are you a dude? GC: {theres like a billion trolls that are red or brown or yellow} GC: {also they both have shitty quirks} GC: {and yeah} GC: {im a dude} AC: and you're a jade? seriously? GC: {yeah} GC: {so what its not so weird} GC: {im living with another male jade right now} AC: uh, no, it totally is weird, sorry. GC: {or well not right now right now im somewhere else at this exact moment but you get what i mean} GC: {what} GC: {no its not} AC: are you sure you're not actually teal? AC: or olive, those blend together, too, i guess. GC: {uh yeah no im pretty sure im jade} GC: {like right smack middle jade} AC: huh. GC: {like this is our standard chrome for jade jade} AC: post pics, because that totally sounds like bullshit, and i am betting you are actually teal. AC: which, it's okay to be teal, dude. AC: is it an ugly colour? yes. GC: {only if you post pics first} GC: {im not fucking teal} GC: {im jade} AC: but it's your colour, so you should embrace it. GC: {super jade} AC: of course you are, dude. GC: {jade as jade can be} AC: i am just saying, it's okay to have a little green in your veins. it doesn't mean you're not blue. GC: {im jade} AC: doubledots sigh doubledots GC: { :sigh: } GC: {listen you fucking suck at this}(edited) GC: {thats not a real emoji either} AC: at least i am trying to accept myself for who and what i am, a proud cobalt who cannot use a computer, unlike some of us. AC: that is a cutting reference to the fact you hate your own blood colour, by the way. GC: {what are you illiterate or something} AC: or are ashamed. GC: {i dont hate my blood color} AC: shame is an option, too, i guess. GC: {okay hold up asshole} AC: more sad, but. GC: {hold on} GC: {because fuck you fuck you is why}

--grantonCleaver sent fuckyouiswhy.png, of a picture of his unbandaged hand that got spiked during his fight with Hadean. It's looking a bit gross because you know, WOUNDS but it's clean and also unmistakably jade.--

AC: huh! AC: nice filter. is that a wound the nine sweep old gave you, or are you fighting with other pupa's, too? GC: {oh holy shit} GC: {i just gave you photographic proof} GC: {and youre still calling shit on me} GC: {kua} AC: what can i say, i know enough about computers to call bullshit when i see it. AC: and i just don't think i know you well enough to be on a last name basis, dude, i am going to have to ask you to stick to mighty. GC: {might fucking sucks} GC: {so does kua} GC: {get better names} AC: wow! AC: at least i have names. AC: did you have everyone on your ship call you ronado, too? GC: {yeah absolutely} AC: man. so cabin jade ronado. that's kind of a mouthfeel. AC: can i call you ronnie? GC: {weird but sure} AC: was the work hard? GC: {uh on my flarping ship?} AC: yes, being a cabin boy.(edited) GC: {wasnt a cabin boy thank you very much} GC: {it was good and hard yeah no different than being on any other flarping pirate ship} AC: hahaha AC: suuuure. AC: what did they call it, then? ive only been on real ships, so i don't know the terms. AC: deck swabbed? AC: lookout? GC: GC: {its literally the same terms} GC: {literally the exact same terms}(edited) AC: uh, no, sorry. AC: maybe they tell you that, to make you feel better about playing pretend. GC: {i was first mate asshole} AC: huh. AC: so a glorified cabin boy. GC: {ok now youre being a dick and stupid} AC: you're right, alexar. that was just me being a total bulgemunch, and it is also a sign that i should probably go sit down, take a breather and wash this blood off, because it is unkind of me to take my frustrations out on you, an innocent, complete stranger on the internet. AC: it is wrong, and i am sincerely apologetic for having done so, dude. AC: so, like, light. GC: GC: {uh light}

-- ayeayeCaptain [AC] is no longer messaging grantonCleaver [GC]! --

-- ayeayeCaptain [AC] is now messaging grantonCleaver [GC]! --

AC: also, i totally do know you, you dumb fuck.

-- ayeayeCaptain [AC] is no longer messaging grantonCleaver [GC]! --

[ladyloveandjustice]

The Great Ace Attorney Replay: Trials and Tribulations, Case 5, the final part

Phoenix and Miles meet and Miles basically gives him a motivational speech

“U GOTTA FIGHT WRIGHT!!!” 

And Phoenix is all “YEAH U DON’T HAVE TO TELL ME!!!!”

“I KNOW U CAN DO IT U HAVE THAT LOOK IN YOUR EYE YOU’RE GONNA DO IT”

“YEAH I’M GONNA DO IT GONNA GET THIS GUY!”

And then they double high-five in the middle of the lobby or something.

Miles:  I leave the rest in your capable hands... partner.

PARTNER IN LAW. PARTNER IN LIFE. PARTNER IN LOVE. AMIRITE.

I dunno how chatty I’ll be during this trial because there are only so many ways to say “I hate Godot so much”. (Note from the future- I will still be chatty).

Dahlia is so good at being passive aggressive during this whole trial. I like this heartless serial murderer so much better than u Godot.

And we finally reveal that Dahlia is in the courtroom hanging with us, not Iris

Phoenix: Did you say the plan was to kill Maya?

Dahlia: Yes? You got a problem with that?

YES DAHLIA I KNOW YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND OR LIKE FEELINGS BUT MOST PEOPLE WOULD HAVE A PROBLEM WITH SOMEONE TRYING TO KILL THEIR BESTIE.  

She insisting Maya is dead and this part:

Phoenix: Th-That's absurd! M-Maya is just... She's just trapped! Trapped inside the Sacred Cavern!

Dahlia: Really...? You're as foolishly optimistic as ever, aren't you... my darling Feenie?

Phoenix: ...!

Dahlia: Do you want to know the truth? Ever since we met... I've despised you. Your sniveling naïveté and your pathetic faith in other people.

Just always give me chills. SHE’S SO DELICIOUSLY EVIL.

I mean she’s basically going “HAHA LOOK AT YOU CARING ABOUT PEOPLE AND HAVING EMOTIONS. LOSER.”

Dahlia was super disappointed when she couldn��t take revenge on Mia from beyond the grave. OR COULD SHE? She decided to “go after the person Mia Fey loved most.”

HEY GODOT. DO YOU HEAR THAT. MAYA IS THE PERSON MIA LOVES MOST IN THE WORLD. AND YET YOU PUT HER IN DANGER FOR YOUR STUPID EGO. IT’S ALMOST LIKE YOU DIDN’T REALLY LOVE MIA AND ONLY LOVE YOURSELF.

AT LEAST DAHLIA’S HONEST ABOUT HER ISSUES.

Ohh yeesh I forgot how intense this got. Dahlia tries to convince Phoenix that Maya accidentally killed her mother, then killed herself out of guilt. Phoenix is of course like “WTF NO” but you can see him starting to panic. IT IS PHOENIX’S ETERNAL CURSE TO THINK HIS LOVED ONES HAVE COMMITTED SUICIDE.

At least it only lasts two seconds this time.

Christ, both Phoenix and especially Maya need so much therapy after this case. Pearl too.

GUESS WHAT MAYA REALLY DID. GOT HER SIS’S ADVICE AND CHANNELED DAHLIA HERSELF SO DAHLIA COULDN’T KILL HER. The moment where Mia appears and is like “lol owned” will always be one of the greatest moments in Ace Attorney.

Haha I forgot how HARD Phoenix and Mia verbally eviscerate Dahlia. They tag-team it too.

Phoenix: WOW GEE THAT SURE DIDN’T WORK OUT DID IT DAHLIA. SURE GOT OWNED HARD THERE.

Mia: OF COURSE YOU MUST BE USED TO GETTING OWNED BY NOW.

Dahlia: what no shut up

Phoenix: Did that kidnapping thing- owned by Mia Fey. Tried to kill me- LOOK WHO’S STILL ALIVE, MOTHERFUCKER! AND BY SHEER DUMB LUCK THAT MAKES IT EVEN WORSE HAHA! Poisoned some other dudes- owned by Mia Fey.

Dahlia: YEAH WELL…WELL…YOU HAVE FEELINGS AND FEELINGS ARE DUMB…

Phoenix: Tried to kill Maya…owned by Mia Fey….

Dahlia: STOP LOOKING SO GODDAMN SMUG IF IT WASN’T FOR MIA FEY YOU WOULD HAVE GOTTEN EXECUTED INSTEAD OF ME. I ONLY DIED BECAUSE OF MIA FEY.

Mia: True!

Dahlia: ….

Mia: Looks like no matter what I’ll always own you. Even death cannot stop me from owning you. For all eternity you’ll be Dahlia Hawthorne: That lady who got super owned by Mia Fey

Dahlia: but HOW COULD I LOSE?

Phoenix: Hey Dahlia, guess what! Nobody gives a shit.

*Phoenix and Mia high five*

Phoenix: Now GTFO of Maya.

SO SATISFYING. EPIC HERO-VILLAIN LADY RIVALRIES ARE MY EVERYTHING and Mia and Dahlia hit my sweet spot. SUCH A PASSIONATE HATE-ON. And Phoenix getting to be spell out exactly how badly she messed up after everything she did to him and how he looked down on him for his dumb feelings-it’s the best

THIS SURE WOULD BE A GREAT WAY TO END THE CASE. BUT NO WE GOTTA DEAL WITH GODOT’S BULLSHIT.

Like seriously. He could just confess that he murdered Misty Fey RIGHT NOW and not waste everyone’s fucking time. BUT NO. Let’s drag Maya, who is completely exhausted and deeply traumatized after almost being killed and witnessing the murder of her own mother, onto the witness stand and make her relive the entire horrible experience YOU PUT HER THROUGH because you don’t give a shit about anything other than ~testing~ Phoenix.

I like that Dahlia has a backstory where you can see where her “look out for number one” and “feelings are dumb” mindset came from. Her Mom abandoned her, her dad set an example by loving no one, ditching people when they were inconvenient for him and only caring about money. You can see why she decided to do the same. It doesn’t excuse what she did obvs, but there is a logical thread to her actions beyond “she’s just a demon child” and that gives her some dimension as a character, even while being so unrepentantly evil.

Mia makes sure Nick’s realized Godot was the killer and then says she’s gonna peace out- I’m sure you could give a lot of explanations for why she recused herself from the trial indicting Godot (like her ~feelings~ ugh)- but I’m gonna  say its cuz she knew if she spent any more time in Godot’s presence she wouldn’t be able to restrain herself from running across the courtroom and beating the shit out of him for putting her little sister in danger and killing her mother for the sake of his macho revenge fantasy.

She would have been fine doing that normally, but she’s in Pearl’s body right now and she doesn’t want Pearl to suddenly wake up with a man’s blood on her hands. She’s been through enough.

 SO IT’S UP TO PHOENIX.

Godot fucking yelling at Maya not to cry after all the bullshit he put her through and the fact she wouldn’t have to even be on this stand reliving this bullshit if he just fucking owned up to what he did I HATE HIM SO MUCH.

She’s trying so hard to protect him NO MAYA IT WAS HIS FAULT THIS SHIT HAPPENED TO YOU

Like he knew Morgan has hidden the note! He found it! It was unsealed when Pearl found it! He could have just taken the note! That is literally all he had to do! That’s not all! He could have explained to Pearl why she couldn’t listen to her mother! He could have TOLD MAYA SOMEONE WAS TRYING TO KILL HER.

But nope. He just leaves to note for Pearl and lets everyone go through with this entire murder attempt because he wanted to “save Maya” and feel all manly. HE. IS. NOT. WORTH. PROTECTING.

The only good part about Maya protecting Godot is seeing her call Nick out on the holes in his logic. AND U THOUGHT U HAD IT TOUGH WITH MILES.

And also! At one point the judge says Maya will be suspected for the murder if Phoenix can’t prove it’s Godot! So he the possibility of Maya going to jail/being executed in his place literally came up and Godot STILL didn’t confess. WOW  DEEP LOVE FOR HIS BELOVED’S MOST TREASURED PERSON HE HAS THERE.

Defeating him is so satisfying at least. BLOWIN’ YOUR MASK UP.

 And in the end, even he admits he wasn’t really concerned with saving Maya…because he didn’t tell Phoenix what was going on. OKAY. OR ACTUALLY YOU COULD HAVE TOLD MAYA HERSELF. I’m not saying Nick would not have probably been more helpful to Maya’s situation than you were, because literally anyone would be, but THE BEST WAY for her not to get murdered is to tell her “HEY MORGAN FEY IS TRYING TO SUMMON SOMEONE TO MURDER YOU THROUGH PEARL, MAYBE TALK TO PEARL ABOUT THIS AND ALSO DON’T GO ANYWHERE ALONE FOR A WHILE.”

Like even after admitting he messed up and his grudge against Phoenix makes no fucking sense, he still does the exact same shit! Only men are people worthy of being told anything! Women aren’t allowed to know what’s happening to them! They don’t get to make decisions about their own lives! Only men can make decisions for them!

And he STILL makes Mia’s death about him and how he “failed to protect her”. It is just so disrespectful to her, acting like he could have somehow done something she didn’t to prevent her death when he couldn’t even protect HIMSELF from being poisoned. Mia died doing what she believed in. She knew the risks and she accomplished her goal. She was satisfied. Her death was about her, not Phoenix and definitely not YOU.

So no, I really don’t feel sorry for him, nn matter how much the game wants me to.

I’m always kinda ehhh about the reveal Iris was subbing for Dahlia. I mean it’s nice for Nick and all and it is incredibly unlikely Dahlia would have had the patience go on all those dates with Phoenix and pretend she gave a shit, she would have murdered him the first night.

But on another level it’s feels unnecessary to say “see Phoenix was right to believe in her, because he wasn’t REALLY dating Dahlia, it was Iris and she did actually care about him!” Like, Phoenix’s belief in people is a positive thing, but I think it’s more meaningful if he’s y’know, not always unfailingly correct.

Having faith in people means sometimes you can have people not worthy of that faith take advantage of it. And I think the thing with Dahlia impacted Phoenix and helped him realize he can’t just be a total doormat for people and believe in them even when shit’s clearly suspicious. This was an important lesson for Phoenix, and also something that left him with some issues. Being like “oh yeah but he was also right kind of” just kinda dilutes that.

It doesn’t RUIN it, since he still did trust someone he absolutely should not have trusted in Dahlia and the betrayal had a lasting impact on him regardless of Iris’s involvement, but it’s just like “eh” for me.

Also it comes off like they were trying to set her up as a potential love interest- obviously they didn’t actually go through with it since she is NEVER MENTIONED AGAIN after this- but egh, if they had... it doesn’t work on so many levels and I’m not just saying that because it disrupts the otp. Like first of all, she did still lie to Phoenix about who she was for months (I hope they didn’t have sex because that could. Technically be a crime on your part, Iris) and I can’t see that baggage being easy to deal with.

Also, I hate to say it, but Iris is boring. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with her, but her connection to Dahlia and the insight on her she provided is about the only thing interesting about her. Her entire personality can be summed up as “shy and nice”. Which is fine. Not every character has to be the fascinating, and she served her function in the plot. But in a series full of quirky, complex, dynamic characters, it’s kinda like. Literally anyone would have a more entertaining romantic dynamic with Phoenix.

(Not saying that Iris couldn’t have potentially been turned into a more interesting character if writers had been interested in it. There’s a lot to work with, considering her tragic past. But as it stood in the game, there’s zero spark there)

Also, judging from the people he’s closest to and spends the most time with, Nick prefers to hang around people who are the opposite of demure, who he can banter and argue with constantly. HE REALLY LIKES ARGUING. IT’S HIS CHOSEN CAREER. I think there was even an interview where the writers said Nick’s type is “someone who would boss him around”. And Iris is not that person. (And Phoenix is also way more sarcastic now than he was in college and I’m not sure if she’d be into that either.)

So yeah I’M GLAD THEY DIDN’T GO THROUGH WITH THAT basically.

I AM glad we went through with putting Godot in jail though. Mia’s just like “nope, don’t feel guilty, it’s fine, this was the best thing to do for him”. I will cling to my theory that she is super disgusted with him. U can’t take it away.

Lol at Maya deciding she’s on a first name basis with Franziska and they’re friends now and being able to make her be nice to Larry just by pouting. Thus a ship was born. They really would have had a fun dynamic I wish we could see more of it.

There’s also the part where Fran is genuinely confused with why Maya is being so cheerful in the wake of losing her parent:

Edgeworth: ...Wright. You seem to be uncharacteristically puzzled. I suspect you are wondering how Maya can be so cheerful despite all that has happened?

Phoenix: Y-Yeah...

Franziska: To be honest... I can't understand it either.

Phoenix: (Franziska... That's right... She lost her father fairly recently as well...)

So she does seem to sympathize with Maya and seem really interested in why her reaction to grief is so different from hers. when Miles and Phoenix say they get why Maya’s doing this, she DEMANDS TO KNOW. What is WITH Maya Fey, how does she work, Fran is fascinated. 

She’s learning about things she doesn’t understand and expanding her worldview thanks to Maya already and that could be another interesting bit of their relationship to explore- similar trauma, different ways of coping, they can sort of connect and learn from each other on that level.

I’ve mentioned that I really like Miles and Maya’s friendship, and this little dialogue exchange coming up is kinda the culmination of that. It’s not just that they both like the Steel Samurai, or both know Nick or anything- they actually have a pretty deep connection and weird understanding of each other. They both witnessed a parent die, they both experienced trauma connected to the DL-6 incident- Miles understands what Maya’s going through in a way Phoenix doesn’t, because Phoenix hasn’t experienced the same loss. And he sees the pain under her cheerful attitude.

Miles: I think I understand how she feels. Maya is a much wiser person than she appears, and I think she realizes something... Now is exactly the time when she needs to be as strong as she can.

Franziska; Wh-What do you mean by, "Now is exactly the time"...?

Edgeworth: Maya wasn't the only one that was badly wounded by this incident. In fact, there was someone that was hurt far more deeply than she. I believe it's for that person that Maya is trying her best not to cry.

Phoenix: (Someone who was hurt more deeply than Maya...) Edgeworth... I think I'm starting to understand, too.)

(She’s doing it for Pearl)

Phoenix: After all, the reason [Pearl] she worked so hard to follow the instructions... ...was because she loved and believed in her mother, Morgan. "It's for the good of the Fey clan"... I'm sure she believed in every last word. She thought she was doing it for Maya... That's why she was so happy. It shows how truly devoted she is to Maya.

Edgeworth: But it's a cruel irony that it was her exuberance that led to this tragedy. Maya Fey's mother was killed and Maya herself was put into the deepest peril imaginable.

Phoenix: (And that's exactly why Maya is putting on a brave face... She's doing it for Pearls's sake... Until she can see her smile again...)

I mentioned this in my last liveblog, but not only is Miles familiar with trying to be “strong” in the wake of tragedy, he also gets what Maya’s doing for Pearl because he’s sort of trying to do the same thing for Franziska right now- he’s pretty messed up over all the von Karma stuff. But he doesn’t blame Franziska for the connection she had to the person who ruined his life or for her attempts to be loyal to him. He recognizes Franziska is just as messed up over the revelations with VK and just as damaged by him, if not more so. So he’s trying to be strong and set a good example for Franziska right now, leaving the past behind and helping them both move one with their lives. And that is exactly the situation with Maya and Pearl.

So yeah, in addition to all the other things Maya and Miles have in common, they both basically have little sisters they feel responsible for and want to help and understand that about each other. ACE OLDER SIBLINGS.

Maya does indeed ace it as a big sis and manages to reassure and comfort Pearl. Her mother is gone, but Nick and Pearl are always there for her, and she loves her family.

Phoenix decided to end the trilogy with a dramatic monologue:

 "It's only natural for living creatures to fight to protect their own lives. But what makes us human is that we fight for others. But who do you fight for? How hard must you fight...? That's the true measure of what human life is worth.

CAN YOU TELL THIS BOY WAS AN ART MAJOR BECAUSE I SURE CAN/.

"We defense attorneys are warriors who are constantly challenged by that question' 

Yeah you’re a warrior champ. Whatever makes you feel cool.

"Even when the battle is over, and the bonds that connect us are severed... We always return... Time and time again. Mia, Maya, Pearl [REDACTED I HATE HIM]... I learned that... from all of them."

 I’M GLAD HE’S LEARNED THIS AMAZING WISDOM ABOUT LIFE FROM THE AWESOME FEYS  AND ABSOLUTELY NO ONE ELSE.

Gr8 anime protagonist speech Phoenix. Your heart has been made fullmetal.

NOW IT’S CREDITS TIME.

Maya: I'll really have to work extra hard now! Master of Kurain and the office manager of Wright & Co. Law Offices. And I have to be a good big sister to Pearly and Nick, too!

Other things Franziska and Maya have in common: insisting guys older than them are their “little brothers”. I love it. YOU BIG SIS THE HELL OUT OF NICK, MAYA, TEACH HIM THE WAY OF THE WORLD.

Maya: Well, as long as I'm not locked up or captured or something like that.

Sorry about ur life Maya. Things will indeed not get better for you in that respect *sigh*.

Franziska taught Adrian how to use a whip everyone must now bow down to their dom lesbian overlords.

Nick actually went with Maya to her special meditation course and did the whole thing with her AMAZING. He’s like an honorary Fey now, which is probably terrifying.

Well, that finishes the game! God this game is so weird, It would definitely be my favorite- it has a lot of great parts, I love playing it, you really get a little of everyone, but it also has to have the most SUPREMELY ANNOYING PARTS in the whole series aka Godot’s whole existence. So I can’t say for sure it’s my fave because of that. But maybe it is. I don’t know. Why’s Godot gotta complicate everything.

Anyway, next up is Apollo Justice. Which on my first playthrough, it’s my least favorite game of the current six in the main series. Let’s see if I’ll have a better opinion of it this time or stand by that assessment.

[ruffsficstuffplace]

The Keeper of the Grove (Part 42)

“Vivian Vixen” had the foresight to hire paranormals as part of her security team—witches, werewolves, vampires, and even the odd zombie thrown into the mix, alongside the mortal street thugs and other criminal types.

Unfortunately for her, they were very good at absorbing blows and taking bullets before they went down for the count, but they weren't very good at dealing it back.

Weiss blew a few more holes into a zombie rushing for her, smashing the butt of her pistol into its head as it tried to lunge at her. The living corpse flailed at her as it staggered back, spitting and flicking bile and blood all over her coat.

“Ugh!” she cried as she kicked it in the chest, sending it down on the floor. She emptied her revolver, and put in six fresh bullets with a speed loader. The zombie got up, just in time for her to snap the cylinder back in place.

“Do you have”--Bang!--“any idea”--Bang!--”how hard it is”--Bang!--”to get putrefied bodily fluids”--Bang!--”out of clothes?!” Bang! Bang!

The zombie finally dropped permanently, leaking from numerous, sizable holes all over its body and head.

“'Always aim for the head,' my undead ass...” Weiss growled as she reloaded, and stepped well around the double dead corpse.

Penny and Blake finished up with their opponents and regrouped with her. The former had clearly taken the worst of it as their meat shield and zombie bait, but she was still smiling, a flicker of happiness in those dull, dead eyes of hers.

They checked the halls for any signs of any more goons still living, or that hadn't taken the opportunity to flee before they gathered before the door a corner office.

“Pink gold door plaque embossed in cursive,” Weiss said as she took position on the side, her gun at the ready. “Why I am not surprised?”

Blake grinned. <Thought you might like it.>

Weiss chuckled. “I do.”

Penny stood in front of the door and reattached her left arm back into its socket. “Ready to breach at your command, mistress!” she chirped.

Weiss nodded. “Try not to kill her, if you can help it, I could use a new pawn. On three: one… two… three!”

Penny ran into the door, the rosewood splintering and breaking apart like it was made of paper.

Fwoosh!

Fire shot out from within, Penny bursting into flames like tinder.

Weiss and Blake screamed her name as she ran back from the blast, stopped, dropped, and rolled as quickly as she could. Weiss tossed her gun to Blake, before she took off her coat and smothered the flames with it.

Weiss pulled it away from her face. “You alright?”

Penny coughed up smoke, her skin and clothes badly burned. “I will definitely need a long session at the mortician's later, but I am otherwise fine! Shall I try again?”

“You just try and pull that shit on me again!” Vivian yelled from inside. “I have TWO tanks of fuel in here, and I'm not afraid to use them!”

Weiss glared at their target, before she turned back to Penny. “No, you're more useful to me than she ever could…” she picked up her singed and smoking coat and put it back on. “Keep yourself together, we'll be right back,” she said as she walked back to the office.

“As you command, mistress,” Penny said as headed back to the elevator on the other end.

Blake spared a look at Weiss as she kept the gun trained at Vivian. “Well? What do we do?” she whispered.

“That tank's only going to cover one entrance: the door,” Weiss said as she took over for her. “We need to find a different way in.”

“No windows,” Blake replied. “Even then, this is one of those crappy Second Millennium jobs with all smooth, featureless sides.”

Weiss sighed. “Whatever happened to the classics…?”

“Stop whispering like that! It's creepy!” Vivian screeched. “Just… go away, you fanged freaks!”

Blake and Weiss both narrowed their eyes at her.

“You brought this on yourself, Vivian!” Weiss said. “You want to play the game, you better be prepared to lose!”

“Oh, fuck you two! Like, seriously!”

Blake peered in, noticed something in the corner. She covered her mouth with her hand, and whispered, <AC vent.>

Weiss discretely looked at her, wordlessly told her to go for it. She stepped just out of range of the flamethrower, covering Kitty's view of the hall outside as Blake headed back and broke into one of the other offices.

Fwoosh!

Vivian blasted another jet of flame, kept it going as she talked. “Don't come any closer! You don't think I won't kill you?! Because I will!”

Weiss sighed. “Just keep on talking and wasting fuel, Vivian! I'm sure things will work out VERY well for you when you run out of words and have to change the tank!”

Vivian cursed and shut it off. “What do you want? Is it money?”

Weiss laughed, a real, genuine laugh that had her aim shaking for a moment. She calmed down and said, “No.”

“Come on! Everyone's got a price, right? We can work something out!”

“We could have, but that was before you torched my personal assistant over there. As you definitely have been skimping on maintenance for your living impaired employees, you don't know just how much it costs to keep her functional and presentable.”

“She's just a zombie!” Vivian cried. “Gawd, it's like you can't just go into any old morgue and buy a new one!”

“That assumes that Penny is replaceable,” Weiss replied coolly. Her eyes darted to a pair of yellow feline eyes, visible between the slats of an air vent. “And I'm afraid you just can't make another her—just like this opportunity.”

Vivian glared at her, about to shoot off another reply, before she stopped. “Wait, what?”

Blake burst out of the vent, back in her panther form. Vivian instinctively turned her head to the noise, didn't realize that Weiss had rushed in until it was too late.

Fwoosh!

Weiss dove to the side, ignoring the smell of flamethrower fuel and burnt leather alongside the stains already on her coat. Blake pounced on Vivian and knocked her down to the floor, Weiss ran to the side of the desk and shut the flames off.

Vivian looked up at Blake's snarling face in fear, before she turned to Weiss and tried to muster up a dirty look.

To none of Weiss' surprise, she couldn't.

“Blake, off, please,” Weiss said as she pulled out her gun and aimed it at Vivian. “I'd prefer not to have to think of might be lurking in that carpet...”

Blake did, and transformed back into her humanoid form.

“Oh, but pointing a gun at someone while they do it is totally fine?” Vivian said as she pulled herself up by her desk.

“Yes, because now I won't have to crane my neck so much,” Weiss said as she perched herself on the side. “Sit down, Vivian.”

Vivian reluctantly did. “What do you want?” she muttered.

“What you yourself do: power, influence, connections—the ones I can't buy with money. But unlike you, I'm not quite as willing to prostitute myself for it.”

“Excuse me? I am an escort!”

Weiss rolled her eyes. “I don't have time for this…” her face and tone softened. “Look, Vivian, we're both after the same thing, aren't we? I can offer you everything Marjoram could—the money, the prestige, the invites to all the most luxurious parties with a brand new dress just for the occasion, with killer shoes and the jewelry to match—but with much better terms and compensation.

“For starters, there'll be no more of all that 'pro bono' work she's so fond on sending you on.” Weiss smiled. “What do you say?”

In Blake and Weiss' vision, a ghostly die jumped in the air, clattered before them, and landed on “1.”

Vivian spat in Weiss' face. “Fuck you!” she cried as she tried to grab her gun.

She smashed the butt of it into her head, grabbed the side of Vivian's head with her free hand, gripped her tightly so she couldn't turn away. Weiss' ice blue eyes were suddenly tinged with ominous, glowing streaks of red.

Vivian started to realize she had made an even bigger mistake than she already had.

“What did you just say to me, peasant…?” Weiss growled.

Vivian started crying. “I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm--!”

“'Sorry' is not going to cut it! Now make yourself useful, before I contemplate turning you into a spare body for my assistant!” Weiss cried, before she let go.

Shaking, blubbering, and with tears and mascara pouring down her eyes, Vivian could only frantically nod her head.

“See you at my office at 10 AM tomorrow; before you ask, I have people, too, you know,” Weiss said as she reached into her coat, opened a tightly sealed pocket, and laid a card on Vivian's desk.

Blake disconnected the fuel tanks and hauled them away, but it was more for salvaging the resources than keeping Vivian from activating it again; the way she was curled up in her chair sobbing, they needn't worry about her anymore.

<And everything was going so well up to that point,> Blake said as Penny came up and took the tanks for her.

“Any time where I almost get bitten by slavering, rotting zombies is not what I'd call something that 'goes well,'” Weiss said as she pressed the button for the elevator. “Penny, how much time do we have left?”

“Little less than five minutes, actually,” Penny replied as she stepped in and kicked out a corpse that was stuck between the doors. “All that time you two spent crafting Ms. Vivian's sordid background and the events leading to her earning your ire added up to quite a lot of real time.”

Weiss laughed as she and Blake stepped in. “Wow, time really does fly when you're having fun,” she said.

<I'll say!> Blake said as she pressed the button for ground floor. <No offense, Penny, but this is just so much more better with someone flesh-and-blood.>

“None taken!” Penny chirped. “I am well aware of the limitations of even a highly advanced golem like myself.”

<How'd you get into Midnight Society anyway, Weiss?> Blake asked as the elevator quietly whirred. <It's not like it's been picked up for the reboot holo machine lately.>

“My mom and grandma were both into it,” Weiss replied. “They're MAJOR history buffs, and absolutely love anything that reeks of Old World Culture—it helps if you can play as part of a clan of vampires who speak exclusively in insane, prophetic ramblings that even they can't understand.”

Blake snorted. <They were Pythia?>

“Yeeep,” Weiss said. “Grandma was kind enough to keep it exclusively to the Trance and table-top sessions, but my mom just LOVED dropping all sorts of weird hints whenever a surprise was coming up.”

<Like what?>

“'Secrets flee to the sands as the wolves whisper in the moonlight,' or something like that.”

<What does that even mean?> Blake asked as the elevator stopped, and the doors opened into the blank, white lobby of the Dreamscape.

“I have no idea, and probably never will; it's one of the last things she ever said to me before she died,” Weiss replied as they stepped out.

<Oh.> Blake's ears pulled down. <I'm sorry. I heard about what happened… it was terrible. No one should have to die like that.>

Weiss frowned. “You lost someone to the Scourge, too?”

<No. It was all we could talk about for months afterward, though.>

“Good thing it never spread past Sekhmet.” Weiss said as the elevator disappeared behind them. “I shudder to think what would have happened if it managed to spread all the way to Candela and the Valley.”

<Or even Celestion. My kind would have been fucked.>

Weiss looked at her. “Settlements there not as advanced as the Bastion?”

Blake hesitated for a moment. <The Fae settlements in Celestion aren't a part of the Eldan Council. Haven't been for along time; it's kind of why we live there in the first place.>

Weiss blinked. “I never realized there were separatists in the Fae.”

Blake got a far off, remorseful look in her eyes. <It's generally because the movements burn out in the planning stages, or they end up dying trying to look for someplace new to settle, or they crawl back to the Council and beg for forgiveness.>

“Fae are very closely connected to their environments, and especially the power of the wellsprings they build their settlements over,” Penny explained. “Prolonged separation can lead to severe psychological anxiety, not to mention the withdrawal symptoms from not being within a powerful source of magic and nature...”

“Wow. That sounds...”

<Really fucking rough?> Blake suggested.

“Fae have a single word for that?”

<We have several, if you want to get specific on how exactly you're being fucked over. Anyway, my being a Celestian is why I was so rough on you in the beginning, you know, when you were...>

“Completely useless?” Weiss smiled. “Let's leave the euphemisms back at Vivian's office, shall we?”

Blake smiled. <Yeah. Completely, utterly useless.> She frowned and looked away. <We Celestian Fae don't have the luxury of all the safety nets like the folks here in the Bastion do; we don't have 'Moss,' for one.>

“Why do they call them 'Moss'?”

<You know how when rocks sit in one place for too long, they gather moss? Like that.>

Weiss chuckled. “Funny, we humans have a proverb that says that moss gathering on a rock is a good thing.”

Blake shook her head. <You humans are crazy.>

“What do you have instead of 'Moss,' though?”

Blake frowned. <'Feeders...'>

“Who are called that because…?”

<… It's what happens when we kick them overboard, into the middle of the Endless Sea: they drown, and then the fish eat their corpses.>

Weiss blinked. She blinked again. “I… wow, that… just… wow.”

Blake nodded. <Yeah...>

Weiss paused. “Wait, so if you're from the Celestian Fae, why are you here in the Valley, working for the Council…?”

Blake looked away, her ears pulling back as she stared off into the distance. <It's a long story. Maybe I'll tell you it sometime...>

Before Weiss could get another word in, the Dreamscape began to fade around them, and her consciousness returned to her body.