#AUGH BLAUGH OF DOOM

[ectomintycocoa]

I…. Was just told that I make people’s lives harder.

I don’t know how to think about that it’s just a fucking shock. I’m…. Not doing okay. I’ll be okay just not right now. I’m upset.

[ectomintycocoa]

I’m calling @oikwss out

I’m calling you out buddy because you are amazing and my best frienddddd

We’ve only known each other for a short while but I trust you with my entire being and your friendship means so much to me 😭😭

Ty for always being there for me aiden I’m calling you out because I’m proud to be your friend

I also love your cat I’m calling you out because your cat is the best cat ever

[ectomintycocoa]

Hey guys I want to serenade someone any song recs?

Help me out please

[ectomintycocoa]

I've cut out a lot of people in my life recently, those that left bitterness and I know I can never fix my relations with?

It feels better, it's important to focus on yourself getting better

I was in such a bad place last year and I'm slowly getting to a spot where I'm happy? I'm happier with myself, I'm less anxious and scared. I don't feel like I'm walking on eggshells anymore. It feels so amazing.

I still have moments of absolute shit but it happens less and less. My anxiety still remains, my depression isn't "cured" but I'm not as upset as I was before.

I still can't really be there for others, I still can't help shoulder on struggles as much as I have done before but I can at least offer some form of comfort. I still struggle with my confidence with my interpersonal relationships, I still struggle with trusting people. I'm getting better at it! I hope one day I never have to worry about this!

I can do this!!

[ectomintycocoa]

I'm a cute bear!

[ectomintycocoa]

Tw: depression - I’m going to get help

I need it I feel like I make people upset at me and

I’m tired of people who used to be my friends treat me so horribly and honestly go fuck your self??

I can’t stand being myself right now, I hate who I am as a person and I don’t want to force myself to be happy and joyful when I’m not

I’m getting the help I should of gotten years ago, and I’m ditching all those assholes who told me that my depression isn’t real, since I was so high functioning before??? Who d o e s that

I’m sorry to post these kind of things but this year has been the worst year of my life so far, it’s been constant shit and I feel so bad for those that I care about? They deserve my best and they deserve good, wholesome relationships with me that I cannot provide right now. I’ve had good times with wonderful people and I’m thankful for that, but I’m sick of myself and how I’m acting, and I need to change that and take control of my life for the better. Tldr: my mental health is going down the toilet and I’m planning on getting help for my sake and for the sake of my interpersonal relationships

[ectomintycocoa]

someone help me please give me some advice

Ok so this friend of mine (let’s call him BOI) I met him on like okc and we became friends and stuff, it was awk for a bit because he liked me and I realized that I am gay and it ended it there, and the aftermath of that was super awk but that is for another discussion.

ANYWAY BOI got me a gift??? when i told him NOT TO? Like I understand that he wanted to get me something but it is like thirty plus dollars and we aren’t particularly close friends, we never dated either? I’m not sure what to do with the gift because I feel so uncomfortable receiving something so pricy??? my birthday isn’t till may either so 

TLDR: HOW DO I EXPLAIN HIM TO NOT GIFT ME THINGS??? HOW DO I STOP THIS????

[ectomintycocoa]

hey guys

how do i get my crush to notice me

like

we talk a lot but how do i get her to ask me out

with out getting too impatient

help me?

[ectomintycocoa]

*Happily thinks about Katsudon when “I Would Do Anything for You” comes on the playlist*

[ectomintycocoa]

man there’s like

someone that’s kind of cute,,, and i thought they were cute a looooooong time ago (like last year) that was like five seconds of thinking so but

idk where it’s gonna go? idk if they will ever be interested in me esp since like they seem more interested in my friend so,,,

i want to get to know them better but i don’t know how? they are super cool and talented and i’m like mediocre fuk lololololol 

help me guys what do i dooooo TAT

[ectomintycocoa]

crush?

I don’t have a crush right now. 

[ectomintycocoa]

I finally feel like ok with how I look like, I want to work out to be fit and have some good ol’ muscle definition but otherwise I’m ok with where I am, and I’m not as disgusted with my hair growing out either, it isn’t at a god awful awkward length anymore?

Idk I guess I embraced my more feminine side and not feel gross by it?

I feel pretty atm??? I’m still awkward when people compliment me but I’m slowly allowing myself to be happy about it? Like believe what they say I guess.

Yeah I’m pretty!!! Yeah!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HtXOVKNazYU

[ectomintycocoa]

I should sleep because I'm tired but I can't at the same time? I just have so much jumbled rn like what are thoughts? What are emotions lol

[ectomintycocoa]

11 22 29

11. are you listening to music right now?

YEAH!! I’m listening to the playlist that my space paladin made for me~

22. description of crush.

My space paladin (crush) OKAY IDK HOW TO DESCRIBE HER BUT WOW JUST… She is the most thoughtful, loving person. She honestly brights up my day. She was there for me during my funk and talked to me and made me feel appreciated?? She is so beautiful too??? NO REALLY IT’S NOT ME LOOKING THROUGH ROSE TINTED GLASSES OKAY?? I kind of get intimidated by her because she has people confessing their crushes to her all the time and I’m like wow this beautiful, talented person, who is loved by so many people likes me???? A meme??? Gosh. And we have the same birthday too like oh my fucking god isn’t this so laaameeee TAT. She has an amazing fashion sense and cosplays too!! When I found out she liked me I had to have my friends pull my sorry ass out of a “what do I do I’m such a whiny little bitch i belong in SUPER weenie hut juniors” it took me a day. I WAS MIXING DANGEROUS CHEMICALS WHEN I TOLD HER I SAW HER POST SAYING SHE LIKED ME AND YEAH. (ceramics man… glazing has some nasty chemicals, don’t be baka kids.)

29. favourite film(s)

A Walk to Remember, Mulan, The Little Mermaid, Napoleon Dynamite and Sucker Punch!!!

ASK ME STUFF

[ectomintycocoa]

The snack that smiles back

[ectomintycocoa]

Manager at my old job: do you have a boyfriend?

Me: no

Manager: why not?

Me: I... Just don't

Manager: maybe you are just too picky

Me(in my head):I'm gay...