#ARAFEAL

[fantasylandloser]

Cuddle Buddies

pairing: rafe x reader

Summary: reader is afraid of storms and seeks out rafe one night

Word Count: 3.1K

A/N: Don't we all need a little soft Rafe for Valentines day

Warnings: mentions of sex, what is proofreading?, what is editing?, Ward bc he's a loser but he's not bad in this,

******

Staying with the Cameron family was like paradise. There was non moldy food, an entire library that you had access to and no financial stress. Ward only asked a few things of you and they were all doable. 

The only problem you’d had so far was Rafe. He hated having you and John B there and he made sure you knew it. And for some reason he paid extra special attention to making sure he gave you the most hell. Probably because John B was dating Sarah and you’d seen her go toe to toe with him before.

It’s mostly small annoyances. He’ll get in the shower before you get the chance and stay in there for an hour just to use up all the hot water. He would eat the yogurt that Rose would buy just for you, even though he didn’t like it. Sometimes he’d even blast his speakers with that god awful shit he calls music. But even though all of this inconveniences you, you still liked living here better than John B’s. 

You had only Your mom comes and goes as she pleased and eventually the bills became too much for you and you got evicted. You hadn’t seen her since and DCS had been on you and John B’s case at the same time. So when Ward offered you sanctuary you jumped at the chance and you try to do everything humanly possible to keep him pleased.

It was one of ten thousand reasons Rafe hated you so much. Everytime he turned around his dad would be praising you for being such a hard worker, such a smart girl, so sweet, so kind, so caring. It never stopped. Ward  had not offered Rafe a kind word in months, but had nothing but good things to say to you. And with that, you were a pogue. So Rafe was able to justify why he treated you the way he did for months. 

Today Ward had decided to take the whole family fishing and he wanted to welcome you and John B, even though he already had. Wheezie was reading a book. Sarah and John B were nowhere to be found. Rose was already drinking even though it was seven in the morning. Rafe was on a chair with his eyes closed, you knew he wasn’t sleeping though because every few minutes he would open his eyes, glance at you like he was waiting for something and then close them  back. You knew Ward would be coming out in a few minutes and you wanted to look useful so you got up to grab the bait. Almost as soon as you lifted the heavy cooler, Ward appeared.

 “Rafe!” He exclaimed. “What’re you doing, you see a girl lifting heavy stuff, you pick it up for her.” He threw his arms out gesturing to you. “I mean what do you do all that working out for? For show.” Ward scoffed, muttering “Jesus” under his breath. 

You see Rafe’s face visibly darken from being reprimanded. As he huffs out a sorry to his dad that he definitely didn’t look like he meant, as he got up to help you. He easily snatched the heavy cooler from you. “Try not to do that all day.” Rafe told you, his tone low. And even though you feel bad that you got him yelled at, you can’t help but return the attitude. 

“Do what?” You ask, your head jerking  back at his tone. Rafe rolled his eyes like you knew exactly what he was talking about.

“Pick up heavy shit when you see my dad coming. I don’t care what you’re trying to prove, but you’re getting in my way.” He tells you, his tone condescending. “The helpless act doesn’t work for pogue girls.” Rafe finishes, his attitude more prominent than before. You scoff at his audacity ready to go in on him, walking behind his muscular figure as he moves the bait.

“First of all, nobody is trying to be helpless. Second of all, if you weren’t always sitting on your ass then maybe he wouldn’t feel like he needed to say that to you.” You clapback, fully aware that he probably wasn’t going to let that slide.

You see the wild look in his eye when he turns to look at you, it makes you nervous because sometimes Rafe could truly be mean.  Luckily for you, Ward had called him and he had walked away.

******

You and Rafe hadn’t had any more unpleasant interactions for the rest of the day. Actively avoiding each other, to not cause trouble even though that was Rafe’s default. Ward had called it a day pretty early after learning that a storm was rolling in. and knowing he didn’t want to be in that kind of weather. 

By the time you got home, it had started raining heavily and everyone was off to do their own thing. You went up to your room and after taking a shower and cleaning up some, you allowed the rain to lull you to sleep. 

It was the middle of the night when you woke up again. The loud crack of thunder disturbing your sleep and your peace. Usually when it was thundering like this, JJ would stay with you until you fell asleep because he knew how scared you were of storms. But as of right now he was on the other side of the island and you’d have to be a crazy person to go out in that storm. When you checked your phone the clock read one a.m and you knew it would be a while before you fell back asleep. There was also a missed call and a text from JJ checking to see if you were alright. And you really weren’t. 

You didn’t know what it was about storms that got you but fear gripped you every single time, there was more than rain. You laid there for about thirty minutes, willing yourself to go back to sleep, but your attempts were a failure. After one particularly loud crack of lightning that appeared really close to you, you’d went to look for John B. But he wasn’t in his room and you knew that meant he was in Sarah’s. And you didn’t want to walk in there because who knew what they could be doing. 

Shamefully, you stood outside of Rafe’s door contemplating whether or not you were going to knock, before you heard lightning strike again. Without thinking you didn’t knock, just entering his room, knowing he would hate that. Only to see him sleeping peacefully in his bed. His covers lowered to his hips, and not a single thread of clothing present on his chest.

‘Rafe” You called, your voice hushed and almost a whisper. He stirred slightly but didn’t wake up, forcing you to call him again. He looked confused as he opened his eyes, blinking for a second. When his eyes finally focused on you. He groaned, rubbing his eyes. 

“What could you possibly want right now?” He asked groggily. 

You take a moment to swallow your pride, knowing there was an eighty percent chance that he kicked you out, and a ninety-eight percent chance that he held this over your head. 

“It’s storming.” You say dumbly. Rafe’s face scrunches up at your obvious statement. “Thanks for stating the obvious. “ He scoffs. “Get to the point, I’m tired.” He hurried you along.

“Can I sleep in here?” You whisper, your face heating up in embarrassment. 

Rafe almost laughed, as he prepared himself to say no, but when he looked at you in your cute pink pajamas and the way you were holding onto yourself. He’d always thought of himself as a protector, and obviously you thought so too if you came to him while you were scared. He knew he had to protect you, even if it was just from a stupid storm. 

Grumpily, he threw a pillow at you, and scooted closer to one side of the bed. “Stay on that side.” He tells you, closing his eyes back. You were shocked for a second, but you wordlessly climbed into the other side of his bed, trying not to further inconvenience him. Settling into his warm bed felt weird but also right, his bed was comfortable and it smelled like him, and even though you hated to admit it, Rafe smelled good. 

Your comfort only lasted for a minute before you were jumping at the sound of a branch hitting the window. Rafe groaned behind you, irritated. His arm circles around your waist and he yanks you closer to him, almost roughly. “Go. to. Sleep.” He punctuated. The weight of his arm pushing down into you. Comforting you, you realize. And before you know it, you allow yourself to be lulled to sleep, your breathing syncing up with Rafe’s.

******

Rafe and you had continued on with the regularly scheduled programming after that. Getting into dumb fights, him being petty all the time, but surprisingly never bringing up that night. When the next storm rolled around, and you knocked on his door. He wordlessly let you in and it had become a routine. Rafe even started to find himself looking forward to storming nights, even after arguing with you all day.He liked that you needed him to feel safe. No one had ever needed him before. 

The mornings had never been awkward; you'd wake up before him and leave because you were naturally an early riser and that was that. Until one particular morning, you had just been extra tired and happened to sleep later than usual. When you woke up you found your head buried on Rafe’s bare chest, which happened often and was another thing you didn’t talk about. His strong arm wrapped around your body holding you close to him, but none of that is why this was awkward. When you looked up Rafe was looking back at you. He was holding you and he was awake? He was holding you and he was conscious. He was holding you on purpose. 

He looked embarrassed to have been caught, and he was. He was just used to you already being gone when he woke up. He never got to see what you looked like when you were just laying there peacefully, not bitching, not being a kiss ass to his dad. Just sweet, and cute, a pretty girl that was laying on his chest. 

Rafe cleared his throat, letting you go as he saw the look on your face and realized how weird this was. “You snore.” He tells you, trying to deflect his embarrassment.

“No I don’t!” You scoff, rising up slightly. 

“Yeah you do.” Rafe laughs. “I thought you were choking.” He exaggerates, and you can’t help but think about how boyish he looks when he laughs. Not as calculating, or mean. 

“Whatever, I don’t snore.” You say rolling your eyes.

“Sure you don’t.”  A swift silence settles over you and Rafe is still smiling for a second. Until a knock comes to Rafe’s door, only for it to be pushed open a second later. 

“Rafe your Dad said-” Rose stops talking the minute she sees the two of you. Her eyes widen and you immediately know what it looks like. Rafe isn’t wearing a shirt, and you’re dressed in your shortest shorts, and sitting in between his legs. There’s no universe where this doesn’t look bad. It doesn’t help that both you and Rafe look like you got your hand caught in the cookie jar, faces reddening, and eyes widening and for some reason frozen.

“Oh..” Rose gasps. “I’m just gonna-” She blinks, obviously still shocked, especially with the way that the two of you stay at each other's throats. Without even saying anything else she simply closes the door leaving you two sitting there dumbfounded. 

******

“Okay guys…”Ward starts. “I called this family meeting because it has come to my attention that we need to talk about the rules in this house.” Your face reddens as Ward gives you a pointed look. John B and Sarah look confused, but Rose and Rafe look just as embarrassed as you feel. 

“I know you guys are attractive young adults living in the same house and that makes avoiding …temptation much harder.”  You sink into your chair, wishing a hole would swallow you up the more he continued to talk. “But I think you can do it. Now we’re all close here so I think I can speak honestly. Right?” He doesn’t wait for an answer before he continues on. 

“John B no more sneaking’ into Sarah’s room before seven a.m and I want you out of there by ten every night. You copy?” John B flushes lightly, thinking he’d been stealthy before nodding. Even though Sarah protested. “Dad, come onnn.” She whines. 

“That’s the end of it Sarah.” Ward dismisses, before looking at you and Rafe, much to your dismay. “Now I don’t know what the two of you have going on, and I’m not sure I want to know-” Sarah gasps loudly at this new information, only for Ward to raise his hand up quickly to silence her for a second. “I know you’re both old enough to make these decisions-” Rafe is radio silent and you were hoping he’d speak up so you didn’t have to. “But as of right now this is the house rule, no spending the night in each other's bed, unless you’re married.” He finishes.

“Mr. Cameron, it's really not like that.” You try your face flushing. “Me and Rafe are just-” Rafe clasps his hand over your mouth, much to everyone’s shock. “We hear you Dad. Loud and clear.” He says not wanting you to tell everyone that you’re cuddle buddies or whatever the fuck you were going to say which would have ranged on the same level of embarrassing for him. You look at him in shock, pushing his hand away, but not even bothering to further embarrass yourself. Rafe saw how mad you were though, your arms crossing over your chest, and you turning your legs away from him. He also couldn’t ignore the small pout that had possessed your full lips.

“Well okay, this has gotten weirder.” Ward said,  mostly to himself, while Rose nodded in agreement. “So how about we just remember the rules, and hopefully we’ll never have to talk about this again.” Ward proposed, trying to air out the awkwardness. Everyone nodded immediately which caused him to get up, wiping his hands off on his pants. 

“Come here, son. Let me talk to you really quick.” Ward gestured to Rafe. Rafe resisted groaning and followed behind him leaving you to the questioning looks of John B and Sarah. “Rafe? Really?” Sarah asked, laughing a little. 

“It’s not like that!” You exclaim, your face heating up. 

“It looked like it was like that this morning.” Rose joined in, much to your shock. John B joined the teasing with a gasp. “How scandalous!” Sarah was laughing so hard tears started to come out her eyes.

“Guys stop!” You say embarrassed, but not saying anything else because it seemed like Rafe didn’t want anyone to know.

“Okay fine. You’re no fun.” Rose tells you, picking her drink back up and sipping with a grin on her face, leading John B and Sarah to leave you alone as well.

****

You hadn’t even glanced at Rafe in three days. You were irritated with him for making it seem like you were doing what they thought you were doing. Sex. And he felt like he’d been paying for it. He liked having your attention. Even if you were arguing with him, rolling your eyes at something he said, anything really. So to be deprived of it for three days was driving him insane.

 He looked up the weather forecast at least six times a day, praying for a storm to roll through. When he finally got lucky and heard thunder crackle down, he was bouncing with anticipation, waiting for you to show up at his door. 

When you didn’t he went looking for you, only to be surprised that you weren’t in your room. He started to check everywhere. When he couldn’t find you he swallowed his pride and opened John B’s door to ask if he knew where you went, only to see you in there, in his favorite pajama set of yours, it was silk with cherries on it. You lay in between John B and Sarah, ironically watching a scary movie. 

Everyone’s eyes diverted to Rafe. Confused as to why he was standing at John B’s door, knowing he’d never gone near there since he started staying here. “It’s after ten.” Rafe points out. Feeling jealousy stirred at the fact that you went to someone else. 

“Dad approved since she’s scared of storms.” Sarah tells him, sticking her tongue out only for him to roll his eyes. He watches you and the way your eyes went back to the TV, continuing to ignore him. Rafe didn’t think he could take being ignored by you, while you were in another guy's bed, wearing his favorite pajamas, on a stormy night. Which were his nights. 

He entered the room standing at the edge of the bed, right in front of the TV, making John B groan. He’s shirtless, it was the first thing you noticed when he opened the door. Only clad in plaid pajama pants. 

“You’re still ignoring me?” He asks, only for you to not say anything back. He hated that. It was one thing to ignore him when you were by yourselves, but it was an entire different thing to ignore him in front of other people. Especially when your relationship was so weird. Nothing spoken on, or reassured. 

“M’sorry, okay?” He mumbles. Embarrassed he had to humble himself in front of idiots like John B and his sister. This piqued your attention, never hearing Rafe apologize before, your eyes meeting his. You’re shocked. 

“Come on, don’t you think they wanna be alone.” He tried guilting.

“We’d love to be alone.” John B weighed in, leading Sarah to reach over you and smack his chest. He winced. 

When you didn’t say anything, Rafe got impatient pulling your leg, so that he could reach the rest of you better, as the rest of your body reached the edge of the bed. 

“Rafe!” You exclaimed. Surprised by the fast motion of it. He didn’t say anything, he just hoisted you over his shoulder. “We’ll talk about it in my room.” He said, not wanting to let his sister, and her loser boyfriend in anymore of his business. But truthfully you didn’t need to talk about it, because this was the first time he’d ever come to you. All was forgiven the moment you’d seen him at the door.

[zushwood]

[yinedemeliha]

Araf (2012) Yeşim Ustaoğlu

[mwagneto]

im going fucking insane

[no-463]

"Biri güvenini kırdı diye diğerlerine de güvenmiyorsan bu, güvensizlik değil, ön yargıdır."

"Hayır. Ön yargı değil, kalkandır."

"Tanımadığın insanlara güvensiz olduklarını düşünerek duvar örüyorsun, buna da kalkan diyorsun. Oysa onlar sana hiçbir şey yapmadı. Bu, ön yargıdır."

"Güvenimi kıran insanlar da güvenimi kırmadan önce bana hiçbir şey yapmamıştı İz."

[gece4517]

Şu binanın tepesinden atlasam ne olur şimdi.. köşedeki bakkal her zamanki gibi açmaya devam eder mi.. Ya da bu binadaki diğer kızlar eskisi gibi yaşamaya devam edebilir mi burada.. Ya da karşı binadaki hastane her zamanki gibi hastalarına bakmaya devam eder mi.. Beni düşünen olur mu acaba ya da Ya bir kız vardı şuradan attı kendini derler mi ya da sevdiğim adamın gram aklına gelir miyim.. benden sonra aynı hayatına hiçbir şey olmamış gibi devam edebilir mi.. bunlar hep merak ettiğim şeyler ama hiçbir zaman öğrenemeyeceğim galiba.. kendimi bu binanın tepesinden atsam da atmasam da...

[ardardasiraliisiklar]

[biktim-amk-hayattan]

bir yol var ama, her yerde tuzak. bir yol daha var, dönmek de yasak.

[iks4141]

olecek kadar dertli değilim ama yaşayacak kadarda hevesim kalmadı gibi.

[yoklugun-guncesi]

Yoksunluk ile sonsuzluk arasında...!

[ynx1]

Second page of Surah Araf 🗣️

[islamiyet]

[mwagneto]

10 is the best character ever. i need to beat him to death but he's already dead and also isn't real

[no-463]

"İçim, güzel olan duygularımın mezarlığı gibi..."

[that-angry-noldo]

"Why did you choose them?"

There is a cold, almost dark curiosity in Eärwen's voice; she tilts her head, glaring at her husband in the light of a poorly lit room.

It is an unfair question, Eärwen knows. Whatever answer Arafinwë gives, she won't be satisfied with it. She watches him struggle, watches words flying through his mind, thoughts racing eachother.

She waits.

What will you say, she thinks, how will you answer? Will you make excuses, will you deny it all?

Arafinwë looks to the window. It's pitch black outside - not even stars shine through the heavy fog of clouds. Eärwen can notice him biting the inside of his lip - a gesture she's all too familiar with; it is ironic, something so well known feeling so distant. (She feels satisfaction. Dark, vengentful satisfaction - true, he hides his nervousness well, but Eärwen still picks up at his signs: how his fingers tug at his sleeves, how his head is just a tad bit tilted, how his lips are slightly pursed. Good, she thinks. You should be nervous.)

"What do you want to hear?" he asks quietly, and looks at her.

Eärwen wants to laugh, or maybe to strangle him. She can't quite decide.

"The truth," she finally says, and smiles sharply. She's hurt, and the wound she was healing all these years is opening again; she's desperate, desperate for her husband to break, to admit he was wrong, to beg for her forgiveness on his knees.

Arafinwë's eyes look straight through her. Eärwen hates it, how he can read her so well after all this time of estrangement. He lowers his head.

"I can give it all to you," he says. "I can tell you I was going for our children, because that would be true - I couldn't stand the thought of leaving them alone, I couldn't stand a thought of abandoning them, not after I abandoned you already. I can tell you I was afraid, and it would be true, too - because I am a coward, and I was a coward, and a coward I will forever remain. I can say it was my egoism, and you will laugh, because you surely called me so countless times already; because in my heart, I was as swayed by the promises of new undiscovered lands as my people were. So tell me, Eärwen Olwiel, what do you want to hear?"

"I," Eärwen Olwiel growls, "want to hear the truth."

Arafinwë jerks his head, and there is challenge in his eyes.

Eärwen feels grim satisfaction.

"I will tell you, then," he says, and his words are bitter. "When I arrived, all I saw were flames. I saw my brother stained with blood, horror on his face. And then, in one moment, I felt pain. Strangling, stiffling pain - I'm sure you felt it, too."

Eärwen grits her teeth. (Her heart stings. Elulindo's death was a weeping wound on their house. It still is, though her brother is between the living again - but he's not the same, he'll never be the same, things will never be the same as they were.)

"And it was confusing," Arafinwë continues, dark and bitter. "Because there I was, standing on the white sand, though it was red, and there was fire all around me - yet all I felt was that strange, new absence; what could it possibly be? And I heard my brothers talking and shouting, and I saw my children around me - they were horrified, Eärwen, Artanis was shaking, and Artaresto-"

Arafinwë takes a sharp breath, and shuts his eyes; he sways a slightest bit before speaking again.

"Findaràto was by my side all that time," he says. "He asked if we should keep moving. I didn't answer, because all I saw were flames, and sand, and pain. Everybody went, so I went with them, and I know- I know, I should've stopped, I should've screamed, but- but I didn't. It hurt. I felt like something was torn away from my very core, and it stung. Every step, it stung. I saw ships passing us, and they felt like a dream. It wasn't real - it felt like a vision, a very detailed, a very horrifying vision; but it hurt, and I couldn't understand why. And - I know it's not an excuse, I know I should've known better - but Findaràto was right there, and I thought, if he's going, it surely must be alright. So I went, and it kept getting colder, and colder."

Eärwen is silent. (The wound, she thinks, never even started to heal, and every Arafinwë's word feels like a new one opening.)

Arafinwë takes a breath.

"Then," he says, "came Mandos, and all the pieces fell together - the blood, the fire, horror on Nolofinwë's face; and all of it came crashing back. Every step, every tear, every word. I howled. I howled, no - I went mad. I reached for Elulindo, and I-" he stops again, and his face is pained, eyes glistening with tears - "I couldn't find him. I felt nothing but void."

The room is silent. Eärwen thinks back to her brother, her brave, her brilliant, her reckless brother, and her heart wants to weep.

"I stormed to Feanàro. I saw nothing but him, with that proud, insufferable scowl on his face. I though of a sword on my hip. I wanted to kill him, I wanted to tear him apart, I wanted to drown him, to burn him, to- he laughed me in the face. You came this far, he said, and it's only now you realize our path is marked with blood? And - I looked at Nolo. I always looked at Nolo, you know? Lalwen was right by his side. They didn't move. They looked right at me, yet they didn't move. I turned around, and I saw my children, and they didn't move."

Arafinwe closes his eyes, and Eärwen feels chills running down her spine when he laughs, swaying, high and weak and hysterical. Tears run down his face, and he presses a hand to his mouth, trying to stiffle his reaction, to even his breath; it lasts for long minutes, and Eärwen wants to leave. The wind howls outside, and Arafinwë's eyes focus on unsteady light of the candle. Finally, he turns to her.

"Here," he says weakly, "you know the truth now. I was weak, and I was a coward, and - and I- and you- this explains nothing, that excuses nothing, but-"

There's no hope in his eyes, she notes, detached. He looks frail in candle's light, weary and afraid; Eärwen purses her lips, and hopes he doesn't notice them trembling.

"I don't forgive you," she says, quiet. "I'm hurt. By you, and by your kin, and that wound is too fresh to be healed by one confession."

What was left of light in his eyes fades; he looks away.

"I understand," he whispers. "I thought so. I'm sorry."

Eärwen wants to say something else - that her heart bleeds not only for her people and family, but for him too; that her empty bed is unbearable some nights, that she misses his touch, that she craves his presence oh so badly some days; but she purses her lips and orders herself to be silent, to be proud, to be cold.

She turnes away and leaves the room.

They part ways, covered by night.

Eärwen sits in her bed. She wants to shut her marriage bond completely.

She sits, and sits, an she never does.